#have a nice friday night to all
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「皆さまどうぞ素敵な金曜の夜をお過ごしください」はThreadsで投稿することにしました。
興味のある方はぜひよろしくお願いします。
I decided to post “Have a nice Friday Night to all!”every Friday on Threads.
If you have an interest, follow me.
See you there!
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You know. I have Thoughts now about Olric.
I originally wanted him added as a romance option (as do many others) and I think I changed my mind! I love him and he's amazing and supportive and he likes rocks but what I think so far that I really super love for him? Is how friendly he is and so far (I'm not far) he has zero romance related lines. Like he's not a romance option, but looking at the other NPCs (the innkeeper/wife, the general store owner/wife, the retired socialite who talks about past flings) I think Olric stands out as possibly the only one I can hope for aroace representation.
Let this guy just exist with the most positive vibes ever because he's just a good guy with positive vibes for everyone.
#fields of mistria#olric#march#i know you can easily look at anyone and say they could be aroace sure but after giving it some thought?#i think he just has that vibe of nice and not interested and no one is gonna change that#looking at all those poker games and then the first summer friday night?#hes just a super genuinely nice and supportive guy who likes looking at cool rocks and sometimes#i think thats all a person needs#i know a lot of people want to romance him and i included myself at first but i changed my mind on how badly i wanna#i kinda want to let him just vibe in whatever short shorts he wants to vibe in#if he has lines about any interest in people aside from friendship i havent gotten em#but i genuinely enjoy the chilling and single vibe he has#also this is just me personally so hey if you wanna smooch him still that is perfectly fine#i just have a super secret asexual agenda to push onto faves thank you
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Friday Nights are so uncomfortable
#fields of mistria#player character#I know hes like everyones pookie bear but i am the one hater lol#we are not friends march your vibes are too bad your tsundere too strong#i think i just have an intense aversion to gameplay where you have to be super accomodating and placating to be respected#like why would i befriend someone that says the things March does i guess is what im saying#and unlike other characters he kind of doesnt acknowledge anything you do for the town even tho thats v specifically an issue he has w you#so theres no way to have neutral ground w him to wven begin to be his friend unless youre putting in all the effort thats how these games g#so when hes judt randomly nice to you every friday night its ssuuuuuper weird and offputting to me#like no actually my character wouldnt be fine with that theyd be really confused and weirded out#anyway March Friday Nights is an imposter idk where the real march is but thats not him
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#probably my last sunny walk at home :(#keeeeellll meeeee#i think one of the things i hate about going back to uni is not being able to experience autumn and winter at home like i used to#it’s weird because i’ve always loved them and considered them my favourite seasons.#but last year (and now this year) i’m realizing that oh! i think it’s because i got to come home after a long day and be in a safe familiar#space. and at uni everything is still a bit unfamiliar and not very comforting so the long cold days get so much harder#but i will surviveeeeeee#counting on gilmore girls to get me through it!! and also love is blind s7. i LOVE having things to look forward to every week it makes tim#fly by so fast. last yr every friday night was reserved for me and i ate frozen pizza or takeout and/or my favourite snacks and#watch my comfort films :( i cooked a lot those nights too 2 save money but yeah. it was rlly nice to have that comfy safe time to myself#i think it rlly got me thru uni.#ik it’s gonna be so hard to get back into a routine but im trying to tell myself that i need to like. focus on the basics first. adulting#can be so hard & i wanna do everything at once! i wanna b perfect in all areas. always do my hobbies. etc etc but i#i couldnt even get out of bed to make myself meals sometimes 💔 so i need to like remember if i don’t journal or read a whole book in a day#not the end of the world. and most importantly i need to be EATING and staying active and SLEEPING FIRST and foremost cause then hopefully#i won’t feel like a zombie.#okay anyways.#feeling sad feeling tired feeling unmotivated but also feeling a teensy bit excited for finally BEING ALONE!!!!#i have my cardiologist appt tmrw so maybe that’s why i feel so yuck also. just thinking abt it makes me wanna throw up#i hope everything goes well#anyways bye bye#♡ dear diary…
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My comic process is “”organized”” chaos
#kudos if you can tell what’s going on in any of these drawings#Dirk holding a pair of tiny tweezers kills me kanjs#I have no idea how people make a nice clean thumbnails#Drawing down all the different ways I could draw panel#I literally no need to spell 10000 ideas onto the same page of different thumbnails#And then going back and choosing the ones I want to use it’s utterly ridiculous hhwsjs#But it works#wip#my ocs#Dirk makes dumb brash decision and pays for it#late friday night prefect time to#post my bullshit
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“So you’re basically my frenemy slash rival?” Boyfriend bounds after him, barely reaching Psychic’s elbow. “That makes so much sense!”
“What? No. Ew. Absolutely not.”
The blue-haired vermin is already on a roll. “I’m the beloved fearless hero with hidden, often overlooked talents and a secret dark side. You’re the edgy loner with a soft side who tries to one-up me on a regular basis! We’re like Sonic and Shadow!”
“No.” Psychic tries not to laugh at the idea of Boyfriend having talents, hidden or otherwise. “Void is Sonic, if I have to be Shadow.”
“Wh— come on! Then who am I supposed to be?”
“Charlemagne Bee.”
Boyfriend glares at him like a very offended neon blue bumblebee.
Psychic shrugs. “You’re not smart enough to do any of the stuff that requires a brain.”
#boyfriend: rude >:(…. WAIT OMG YOU’VE SEEN—#psychic: NO.#anyway. snapcube dubs my beloved#couldn’t stop thinking about bf as sonic vs void as sonic#i think both of them make so much sense but we all know which one psychic would prefer lmao#if y’all can guess this one you get a cookie. I made some today :)#fnf psychic#psychic fnf#fnf boyfriend#the dearests#fnf mind games#friday night funkin#my writing#shortfic#fnf fanfic#also I have an hc that bf is mostly a sonic kid and gf is generally a mario kid hehahrhej#imo psychic is like a mix of shadow espio and silver#he’s not nice enough to be silver even tho silv is the literal psychic lol#that’s where shad comes in. for maximum edginess also#and espio bc he’s a book nerd with a sharp memory and quick wits#anyway I’m done rambling good night :p
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YALL A GIRL BOUGHT ME A DRINK YESTERDAY AND I GOT HER NUMBER!!!!
#oni talks#thoughts#idek what else to tag this as but like#raaahhhhbim so excited and happy!!! we swapped Spotifies too and she even asked my sign#also we’re getting together again this Friday! also I’m technically supposed to find other stuff for us to do but im indecisive/unsure what#All she’d like yet?? also I wore like 6inch heels and barely came up to her height#she was so nice and cool!!! and we’re in the same/similar situation!!#also she actually takes some level of initiative which like idk if yall have noticed but that’s lowkey RARE AS FUCK#my one regret that night (aside from the man that broke my purse) is that I forgot what artist she asked me about#it’s funny I was originally gonna leave early but then she appeared!!!#I don’t wanna be TOO hopeful bc it’s early but like!!! I have so many activity ideas!!#also this is really hammering in that I desperately need to clean and organize my place omfg#coz how tf am I gonna invite her over for shit if it’s like this aahhh#also I hope she likes the music I sent/is on my account aahh#she texted me as soon as she left that she wanted to hug me and I just AAAAHHHHHH
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Daily November crying sessions start today
#why. who. how. how tf does my professor think it's okay to assign 4 major assignments in the same amount of weeks + 4-6 readings every week#all of which are ~20 pages.#i've got all that to do and another big assignment for a different class. plus the weekly readings and reflections for that one.#and i have work.#i've stupidly decided to volunteer for a thing on saturday in the hopes of bulking up my resume + rubbing elbows with the administration.#and i have a medical thing on friday and i'll be looped out and likely will have to sleep half the day. probably won't get ANY work done.#what else..... some fairly easy stuff for my other class thank GOD. but a lot of reading and preparing for a few big essays.#november is the month i hate the fucking most. i always lose my mind in november. and no wonder!!!!!!#meanwhile people are bugging me to hang out. i will be in a student-coma until approx. the first week of december. see you then. peace.#oh and my BIL + SIL sitting me down and showing me all their europe honeymoon photos for 2 HOURS last night is also not helping my mood.#fuck you lol#like i'm happy for you and nice photos but also? Fuck You.#if i can offer some dark humour though.....#my fic axis exists because of a legitimate smidge of insanity i experienced last year. it shifted the way i looked at the world and at grie#sooooo i wonder what kind of fic my mind will crank out this time?#i don't think i'm at risk of losing it this year though. doesn't seem that way. but we'll see!#i can write/draw good things without sacrificing my mental health first i can write/draw good things without sacrificing my mental health f#rst i can write/draw good things without sacrificing my mental health first i can write/draw good things without sacrificing my mental heal
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i am feeling So Many Things at the moment but mostly i just feel like a disaster
#friday chats#tw vent#it's like.#new school - far from family - already behind - new crush - really tired - fucking focus would you?! - new show - undone chores#on and on and on#a big ball of highs and lows that - instead of mellowing out into a net positive or negative -#- just make me feel like i'm being pulled in two opposite directions#why can't i just have the good and not the bad#i really wanted to take a gap year to decompress from All Of High School but my parents refused#kind of wish i took it regardless. just ''whoops - missed the application deadline! i'll get it in next year'' and faced their ire#but then i wouldn't have met my new friend at freshman camp#we both were individually interested in the queer orgs on campus and could have still met that way#but idk. it wouldn't have been the same#mostly i'm just worried i'm not cut out for living on my own. being an adult with a job. doing college at all.#not because people who have to rely on others/don't have a job/drop out are supposedly failures#but bc i don't have anybody i could safely fall back on AND live a life that is entirely my own if i don't make it#all i've got is my family. who will judge me for failing and force me to stay in the closet.#and frankly i don't want to live like that#so i have to keep going#but also part of me's like. ''you're ready to throw in the towel only a week in?? for fuck's sake friday come on''#it was just so much. i don't know. i just want to rest. i've been stressed for so long#i want a life where my needs are met and i feel safe and loved. that's all#but NOO i have to get a DEGREE to get a JOB so i can even begin to THINK of something like that#my family always jokes about how one day when i'm successful as an author i'll be super rich and have a private jet or whatever#and yeah that just speaks to how poorly they know me but more importantly IF i make it that big i just want to settle somewhere nice#somewhere cozy. maybe start a garden. get a cat. hold a loved one close at night. that's it really#and it sure would be nice if i could have that without having to bend over backwards getting a degree and a 9-to-5 or w/e#but i can't. so throwing myself at the wall that is my shit executive function it is.
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カタツムリも飼うことになりました。
部屋にはコックローチ先生もいることが判明…。いつかスケッチしてみます。
皆さまどうぞ素敵な金曜の夜をお過ごしください。
I also decided to keep snails.
And it turns out that Mr. Cockroach also lives in my studio... I'll try sketching it some day
Have a Nice Friday Night to all!
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I just had the horrible thought that I need to fall in love because having devastating crushes on beautiful, competent, authoritative women that I desperately want to please is exhausting and I need it to stop
#this one is straight so there's no room for delusion which is good#but my burning need to be her most favorite is eating me from the inside#it IS making me better at my job though#.......i mean i think so but what the fuck do i know#on friday night amongst the grueling psychosexual chaos that ensued a very smart guy that I LOVE said to me#i have no doubts you're gonna be a great psychiatrist actually#i traded a month with him to have another month with her#he's a phenomenologist she's a psychodynamic....ist? rival theories#I don't like most of psychodynamic theory.......so far#but i love the way she works and i can see how well it fits with her manymanyMANY patients and goddamnit i love personality dosorders#so i made the choice to go with her yes and im very torn casue i LOVE that guy and i wish i could become his friend like my bff from my year#also.......kind of dumb of me since I'd only soend two days a week woth her and the other three with very scary ladies#but I've been in scarier situation i can manage#and god when she praises me (silently obv she's only been forward about my merit ONCE and i almost pissed myself like an overexcited dog)#the endorphin rush is........man#but yes i need to work on this.......idk how to define it. closest i can get to explaining it is professional sub space#with strong aspects of praise kink#pathetic is what it is really#but hey if it makes me study harder who fucking cares right#I'm gonna be the smartest most intuitive fucking bitch amongst my peers so if I can't have her (them) carnally then goddamnit#I'LL HAVE THEIR PRAISE AND RESPECT AND ADMIRATION AT LEAST#........I'll be normal again in a week or two i just need to get over these next couple of days of....idk. inflammation i guess#yeah it's just like an infected wound right now#angry red throbbing hot pain#i know the drill it'll be better in a couple of days you just need to not freak out and let it do its thing#it's nice to be mature-r about emotional impulsivity and the shame that comes after an episode of deregulation#it really doesn't have to be a big deal even while it still feels like it#it still hurts but it's like......hour three of a tattoo. it's a bitch but you know it's gonna be over eventually and wriggling won't work#the only thing left to do is enjoying it all while it's happening or trying to#I don't think I'm doing a great job but what're you gonna do right
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having to explain to people things like. if i have to go out to do something and run errands i need to have it all mapped out and planned w like. at least a week in advance. and if i go out that day i cannot do anything else because That will be it. if i have multiple commitments that cannot be put on the same day i need one full day in between those commitments so i can rest and be recharged for that next thing otherwise i might have a breakdown in the middle of the street (again) and then That will render me unable to function for like a whole three days. and then people look at me like i choose to live like this?
#txt#audhd tag#just venting a little#its crazy because ppl around me are like I understand your limitations However why dont you-#So you dont understand my limitations?#like okay yeah i understand that it must be Weird for people that are not Inside my brain and hard to understand that i PHYSICALLY CANNOT>#do things that they dont even think about. alright! but to sit and tell me Yeah we get it! but then try to either fix it or >#> come up w a New Incredible Way To Fix Me as if half of what i talk abt w my therapist isnt Exactly This#like yeah i dont fucking like it either. i wish i could do shit like other ppl do. i wish i could remember things.#i wish i didnt feel exhausted all the time i wish simply leaving my bed wasnt the most difficult task every single morning#but it pisses me OFF when people try to talk me through these Limitations i have that They Understand<3 like. can you be accommodating or no#one of my closest friends and oldest friends since i was like 5 had her bday on friday and she ljterally messaged me like#Hi we r having something w my family but theyre rly loud and extremist on the right wing side and i barely wanna be here u dont have 2 come>#> but i wanted to invite u anyway so u dont think ur being left out! and i was like Yayy nice thank u bc lbr i probably wouldnt go anyway.#and she KNOWS that. and she literally was talking to me like she alwahs does and That felt accommodating and understanding and i felt loved#cut to my mom last night trying to make me feel guilty for not going because Shes my friend and i should have gone anyway.#i told her off and she backtracked but thats still innmy head like. that shit is so irritating#okay sorry vent over im just aboht to get my period so this is making me sick#want to yell into the void and forget about it. Hits post
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Trying to buy sudafed at the pharmacy is like yeah, I know people make meth out of this but I swear I’m actually sick please please let me buy this guilt free
#trust me! I’m a nice guy! I’m one of the good ones!#makes me feel like a got dang crimmnal!#and they still didn’t have any! so I got to feel suspicious for nothing#just wanted a good decongestant. regular otc pills are basically placebos and nasal sprays burn#oh well#I got some spray and vitamins 🤷🏻♂️ not much else I can do#I’m so tired. I can’t sleep without feeling like I’m suffocating#still… we remain silly#my brother graduated high school on Friday. it was outdoors and we got rained on so I was cold and wet all night#I should have gone inside under cover but nooo I thought sitting in rain for 20 minutes would be fine#uwu sitting in the rain as the sun goes down. how romantic. NO! That’s how you get sick!#could be worse. but my health these days is already bad so adding this to it is burning me out. HARD.#I’m losing my shit!#I think I should be allowed to upload my consciousness into a giant killer robot. because I’m a sweetie ☺️#anyway…#you can ignore this#text
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if i became a school idol and the other members made my image color gray i would try to take down the group from the inside
#i’ve never said it but i’ve always thought it and i think a lot of people have given all the attempts to pretend kotori’s color is green#i do actually think it works for yoshiko but just for me it would feel so much like the short end of the stick#like everyone else is wearing sakura pink and sky blue and warm orange and i’m over here in a gray costume like yes this was my first choice#the reason I’m thinking about idols actually is that it took me 2 months of living in japan to realize i can go see idols#more specifically it took 2 months and the member of an idol group to hand me a flyer on the street and like very persistently and cutely#ask me to come until i was like okay yes ofc#i had literally just gotten off the bullet train i was wandering around and there she appeared#i love idols dude I really love idols so much#kpop is so much more accessible between fandom loudness and content more regularly being available for free but jpop!!!!!!!!!#jpop is my first love!!!!#i saw that live Friday and they said they were performing again Monday and o just happened to be staying in akiba again#so guess what i did last night#i am not immune to idols also you get to take pictures with your oshi as a thank you for your first and second time coming#so after both shows i got to talk a little w the member who found me#ik it’s their job but she remembered me the second time around and also the performances themselves were so fun and cute#it just really reignited the jpop flame in me i love idols so so so much#personal#hope you are all having a nice start to your week!!!
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surgery is scheduled for friday morning. it's worse than we thought :/ but the doctor seemed confident she can do it. we just have to make it through this week. we're so close. so close.
#i cant be asleep for surgery which yk i didn't want to be but also now the actual procedure is going to be ummmm scary#not well but i'm using every single coping skill#she gave me a sedative for the night before and also the morning of so that's a relief#it's so much. so much. but now at least we have a date. there is a point where it will be over#the pain is gonna suck though cause she can't give us the normal pain stuff cause some meds i'm on :/#but hopefully that'll only be for a few days#and i can continue all my normal pain management#anyway i'm really fucking scared but using every coping skill i've got#and just trying to look forward to all the nice things after#like doctor who!!!!! kinda nice the surgery will be friday so i can look forward to the new episode#and i can listen to an audiobook during the surgery & i think i'll do howls moving castle bc i've already read it & i love it a lot#it's really comforting#anyway#just got to make it a bit further. just a little longer. we're so close.
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add “friday night parties” to the list of things I am NOT gonna miss about living in a dorm… I mean noisy neighbors were already on there but this specifically bothers me on so many levels
#see normally I’d just put on my noise cancelling headphones and it’d be whatever but#I am so determined not to fuck up my piercing#and I really don’t wanna tell them to shut up bc it sounds like they’re having fun and I’m in an especially too nice for my own good mood#and! I do genuinely earnestly want them to have fun. I am NOT a hater!! just bc I never got to do any sort of partying and never really#wanted to anyway doesn’t mean I’m gonna project that onto anyone else#but on the other hand friday nights specifically are sacred to me#as the first night of the weekend where I get to sleep in and the first night I don’t have to worry about assignments due the next morning#and also as a kind of religious thing#I don’t really observe shabbat anymore but I never was able to get used to the friday night = party time association#and I don’t particularly want to!! friday nights are for chillin and I like it that way.#anyway all this to say I am trying to enjoy my chill evening and there is NOISE and I’m not gonna do anything about it (at least#until Official Quiet Hours start) but I absolutely will complain#I convinced my mom to get a library card and give me the number so I can read books on libby#(would have gotten one myself but idk if I qualify for one at the library near my school and I’ll be gone in a few months anyway)#and now I am TRYING to read lockwood & co book 1#(yes it is technically a middle grade series. yes I am twenty two years old. if the show is anything to go by it’s a more accurate#portrayal of teenagers than any media I consumed as an actual teen. let me live)#but alas. The Noise#and yeah I know noisy neighbors are not exclusively a dorm thing but I can’t imagine a normal apartment will be nearly this bad#also to be clear this is not a weekly occurrence#I don’t actually think these particular neighbors have given me any issues before#which is part of why I’m feeling so patient with them… probably too patient tbh#I should probably delete this later#probably shouldn’t post it at all but oh well. what’s the point of life if you can’t share every minor annoyance with#a bunch of strangers on the internet?#screams into the void
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