#have you ever thought about taping your big mouth shut

[sailoreddy]

[lavendercharm]

Linger, Chapter 3: STFU!

Summary: From the moment you meet her, you can't stand Melissa Schemmenti.

Warnings: VERY Strong Language

----

The next hour flies by as you continue your mission of organizing and decluttering the classroom. You organize stacks of finished worksheets and separate them between their respective grades; group crayons, markers, and pencils by color; and even refill Melissa’s stapler with your own staples, which you feel is generous. In between trips to the trash and recycling bins across the room, you occasionally glance at the half eaten lasagna sitting on your desk. You feel like it’s mocking you, but you can’t bring yourself to throw away one of the most delicious things you’ve ever eaten. Maybe once you’ve extended an olive branch, you’ll be able to enjoy it again.

By the time Melissa returns, you’re nearly done. She finds you surrounded by piles of dead dry-erase markers and empty glue sticks. You’re so invested, you don’t notice her entering the room until her voice startles you, nearly causing you to drop the markers in your hand. 

“What the hell are you doin’?” She demands. 

You try to muster a friendly smile as you turn around, but you’re certain it looks as forced as it feels. You’re surprised to see her alone. “You don’t have the kids with you,” you point out lamely.

“Educator of the year over here with these observational skills,” she snarks. “Other teachers have recess duty. What the hell are you doin’ with my markers?” 

You glance down at the markers clutched in your hand and say, “Oh, I uh… I noticed the room was messy when the kids left, and the cupboards were kind of cluttered, so I was going through them.“

“What, my room isn’t pristine enough for you?” she asks mockingly, folding her arms and leaning on one hip.

You close your eyes briefly and remind yourself that you’re trying to fix things, not make them worse, before opening them again and replying evenly, “No, I just mean that it makes sense with how much you have on your plate-“

“So you’re sayin’ I’m messy and incapable of doing my job?” 

“Stop!” You interject quickly, putting up your hands to placate her. “I’m not trying to insult you! I just wanted to help. A bunch of this stuff was broken or unusable, it was just taking up space so I threw some stuff out-”

“You what?” Her voice has a sharp edge to it. Your hopes for gaining ground with her are out the window - it seems like Melissa is looking for any reason she can find to start a fight with you. 

“I threw some things away,” you manage, your own temper starting to rise. “I don’t see what you’re getting so worked up about.”

She steps toward you, pointing a finger assertively. “You took it upon yourself to go through my classroom supplies and throw things away without asking me. Do you have any idea how expensive new school supplies are?”

“This isn’t my first year in a classroom!” you protest.

“Well, I don’t know what fancy private schools you must have come from to think supplies grow on trees, but it’s your first day at Abbott. We can’t just turn around and buy new stuff whenever we want!” 

“That stuff wasn’t usable! It was junk!” You exclaim. 

“And how will I explain to my kids why half their school supplies are gone now? How entitled can someone be?” she says scathingly.

“God, what’s wrong with you that you call someone trying to help you entitled ,” you spit out. You hear her scoff as you turn your back on her and start gathering the piles of dead markers. You throw them, along with the empty glue sticks, into a container.

“Oh please! What else do you call someone who thinks they can do whatever they want? Goin’ through my stuff without askin’, not to mention strollin’ in late-”

“It was an accident!” You burst out, rounding on her. “God forbid I mess up!”  You bark out a scornful laugh. “You say I’m entitled, have you met yourself ? You think you can walk all over me just because I’m new here and I made a mistake! Hey, since we’re sharing, you’re the most stubborn goddamn woman I’ve ever met! You can’t go two seconds without criticizing something or giving your unwanted opinion. Have you ever thought about taping your big mouth shut?” You deride as you snatch up the bin under one arm and begin to stalk past her toward the trash.

She steps into your path and you nearly collide with her. You look up to meet her fiery gaze, refusing to back down, and as you do, something stirs in your lower belly. You feel your muscles tense, ready for… what, you’re not sure. Her heeled boots give her a fraction of a height advantage over you, so you have to look up slightly. Your faces are inches apart as she stares daggers into your eyes, both of your breaths heavy from frustration and mixing in the air. Her cheeks are flushed and her hazel-green eyes are vivid, and your eyes flit down to steal a glance at her rosy lips for the briefest of moments, before you wrench them back up to her gaze. As your eyes return to hers, she opens her mouth to speak, but something catches her eye, cutting whatever she was going to say short. 

Her brows come together in confusion as she tears her eyes from yours and your heart sinks to your stomach. She saw your gaze drift, she had to have noticed it and that’s why she looks so confused. You’re not sure how to explain it yourself - your eyes were simply wondering, your nerves are frayed, you aren’t in the right headspace. Her face grows even more red, and you brace yourself to be verbally eviscerated as her mouth opens once more. What comes out takes you so off guard that you momentarily forget yourself and the situation you’re in.

“Where did you get that?” she whispers coldly. Her gaze is fixed over your shoulder. 

“Wha- what?” You stutter out, blinking quickly to try and comprehend the sudden, unrelated question.

Her eyes return to you, and you see a fury unmatched by anything she had displayed so far. It’s the first moment you know, without a doubt, that Melissa Schemmenti is someone you should be scared of. She repeats her question in a deadly low voice, biting out the words harshly. “Where. Did. You. Get. That?” Out of your peripheral vision, you see her point to something behind you.

Mustering all of the courage in your body, you look away from the lion that has your head in its jaws and search for what has condemned you to your untimely death. Sitting on your desk, alone and forgotten, is the half eaten slice of lasagna Janine had brought you for lunch. It takes your brain a moment to parse out why Melissa is so infuriated, but you quickly realize what conclusion she’s jumped to.

“Melissa-” you meekly squeak out before the dam breaks and her wrath is unleashed on you in full.

“Keep my first name out of your fuckin’ mouth you self-absorbed rat,” she snarls. “I knew you were selfish and inconsiderate, but I didn’t peg you for a thief. Stealing lunches? How dare you? ” She’s positively foaming at the mouth, and every ounce of anger that made you bold is gone. In its place is a gut-wrenching panic. You feel your heart hammering against your rib-cage and she continues to tear into you. “I knew I didn’t like you for a reason. You waltz in here on your high horse and think you can just do whatever you want. News flash puttana, Abbott doesn’t need you and I certainly don’t need you. You’re not worth the air you’ve been takin’ up in here. All you’ve done is ruin my goddamn day,” she seethes, pausing briefly before exclaiming, “And you’ve got me using salty language at school! The best thing youse could ever hope to do for these kids and me? Get the hell out of my classroom.”

You’re absolutely mortified, the words you’d meant to use to defend yourself evading you. You know it doesn’t matter - nothing you say will convince her. You wish the floor would open up and swallow you whole. You dig deep within yourself, trying to grasp some semblance of dignity as you finally break free of her hateful glare. “Fine,” you muster. You back away from her and move to your desk, quickly gathering your meager belongings and shoving them back into your bag. You keep as much distance from the lasagna as you can, too beaten down to even acknowledge its presence. 

Once your things are gathered, you make your way towards the door. But some thought in the back of your mind gives you pause. You don’t want to go out like this, with your tail between your legs. You don’t want to let this vitriolic woman have the final say. Glancing up, you see Melissa has busied herself with something at her desk, having apparently already written you off. Hesitating, you steel yourself and say, “You know? I’m not so sure your aide has appendicitis. I bet it was an excuse so she didn’t have to work with a judgemental bitch like you.” 

Her head shoots up in a flash of red - you hear an intake of breath and catch sight of her mouth opening - but you’re in the hallway before she can respond, slamming her classroom door a little too hard behind you.

—--------------

“What the hell do you mean you got into a fight with Melissa!?” Ava exclaims across from her desk at you. You sit on the other side of her, feeling more like a student being disciplined than a grown professional reporting to their boss. When you’d arrived, Ava had made you wait outside of her office while she finished an episode of “FBoy Island”. This gave you more than enough time to process what had happened, and the shame nearly overwhelmed you. Never in your life had you lashed out at a colleague like that, especially after having known them for less than 24 hours. 

Expecting to be scolded and fired, you’re surprised when Ava’s next words are, “You could have at least called me girl! My fans would kill to see Melissa in a fight! Although I guess she’s not good like she says, ‘cause you ain’t got a scratch on you. I’m disappointed she didn’t break out her bat,” she mumbles dejectedly. 

You don’t even know where to begin responding to that, so you settle on, “We didn’t fight fight, just said some really nasty things to each other. Also, I don’t have your phone number, so… I actually couldn’t call you.” 

“Oh!” Ava says as if she’s surprised. “Well, we gotta fix that, give me your number so you can tell me next time!”

“There’s not going to be a next time,” you mutter sourly.

“Oh damn, are you quitting?” she replies in a disappointed voice. “You seemed kinda cool standing up to Melissa this morning, I thought for sure you’d last longer than a day.”

You raise your eyebrows in surprise. “Uh, no… I mean, I don’t want to quit… well, I kind of do, but then she’d win,” you grumble. “I just thought you’d… I mean, I got into a huge fight with one of Abbott’s most tenured teachers. I thought for sure you’d want to fire me.”

“Fire you?” Ava says incredulously. “This is the most excitement this place has seen in a minute. If you stick around, we could start a teacher fight club!” She shoots you an award winning smile and you can’t help the quirk of your lips at her joke. At least, you think it’s a joke… probably. Ava leans forward, putting on her principal voice as she says, “Look, you’re the first sub we’ve been able to get since the school year started. On top of that, your references and work history make it seem like you’re actually a good teacher.” You give her an incredulous look, because everything you’ve learned about Ava doesn’t point to her ever actually doing her job.

“What?” she says defensively. “I do my research! I’m not gonna let just anybody walk on in here! I don’t need another stalker.” Before you can say anything to that, she barges on. “Listen, you can do whatever you want, but I’m not gonna fire you. Abbott needs you.” Her words, a direct opposition to what Melissa had said to you not even two hours before, warm your heart. You feel tears welling in your eyes, unable to hold them off completely no matter how much you try.

“Ew, don’t start crying,” Ava says, wrinkling her face up. “Or else I will fire you.” 

You can’t help the laugh that bursts out of you, and you catch a self-satisfied smirk on Ava’s face.

“Okay,” you say, wiping your eyes with a smile. “I’ll stay. I’m sure I can avoid Melissa as long as you put me on the opposite end of the school.” 

Your smile drops, though, as Ava says, “Girl, you’re still gonna be in Melissa’s class.” 

“What?” you ask, anxiety beginning to creep into your chest. “Can’t you put me in another room?” 

“Sure, there might be other rooms you could help in, but right now the only person out sick is Ashley,” Ava says flippantly. “And Melissa’s class has the biggest need for a sub, seeing as she’s teaching two grades n’ all.” 

“There has to be something else I can do,” you mutter desperately. 

“Right now, your options are to stick with Melissa’s class, or wait until someone’s out sick. But there’s no guarantee teachers will call out and I dunno about you, but I have bills to pay,” she explains dismissively, and you know the conversation is nearing its end as she turns her attention to her phone. 

You sit there and weigh your options. The last thing you want to do is have to return to Melissa’s classroom and face her again. As much as the kids in her class started to grow on you after just a few hours, this was the worst day you’d had in your entire professional career. And it was entirely due to Melissa Schemmenti. Plus, there was no telling how she’d react to you walking back into her room. Still, Ava had a point: if you weren’t subbing, you weren’t being paid. Your money situation was pretty dire. You needed this job. 

You exhale loudly, before uttering, “Okay. I’ll be back to join Melissa’s class tomorrow. On time,” you add hastily.

“Great!” Ava says, shooting you a smile over the top of her phone. You glance at the clock, seeing it was already nearly the end of the school day, so you wouldn’t be missing much by leaving a bit early. As you get up to leave, Ava says, “Wait!”

You stop in your tracks and turn to her expectantly. 

“Lemme give you my phone number so I can live stream when you and Melissa fight again!”

You roll your eyes in annoyance, and add her to your contacts.

—----------------------

When you make your way out to your car, you feel the weight of the day fully settle on your shoulders. ‘What a mess,’ you think to yourself. Even still, you try to find some resolve. You’re going to need it if you plan to weather Hurricane Schemmenti. 

You come up to your car, which is parked in one of the few visitor’s spots. Your head is down while you dig in your bag for your keys. As you step in front of your car, you feel something crunch beneath your shoe. Frowning, you shift your focus to the pavement. Small, clear granules shimmer in the afternoon sunlight. As you examine more, you see larger shards scattered about. Your jaw clenches as your eyes travel up, up… to the headlights on your car, both of which have been smashed out. 

You stare at the destruction before you, and slowly, a dark feeling starts to fill you. Your pulse pounds in your ears as your teeth grind together, and you start to see red in the corners of your vision. You clutch your keys in a vice grip. You want to hit something, or someone. Of course, you don’t have any proof as to who did this. But you know. And as the dark feeling inside of you grows and grows, you’re already beginning to formulate your revenge. 

‘Okay Schemmenti.  This is war.’

[corrodedcorpses]

Boys on Film. Part ii.

Pairing: PS!Steve x PS!Eddie x Virgin!reader

Summary: It's been a week since you watched that tape and you haven't been able to get the images of Eddie and Steve out of your head since. Scared you'd say or do something weird around them, you've decided to avoid them instead. But of course, they show up announced just to torture you.

Warnings: Smut (18+), light angst, Masturbation (female), Voyeurism, Oral sex (m)

Word count: 9.5k (god damn)

a/n: Here's part 2!! Finally! Thank you so much for the love on the first part and I hope everyone enjoys this part!! Definitely more parts to come 🫢

Part 1 // Part 3

It’s been a week since you’d watched that damn video. A week since you’d even dared to touch yourself, the feelings of guilt growing each second that past since you’d come down from the most intense orgasm of your life. 

Ever since that night you hadn’t been able to bring yourself to see them, or hardly even talk to them. They’d been ringing you nonstop but everytime you picked up the phone and heard their voice you could practically hear them moaning through the receiver. Each time you’d given them some excuse to end the call early, opting now to just not pick up the phone at all. 

Of course they wouldn’t know what you’d done but you couldn’t shake the intense feeling of guilt. You felt guilty for seeing them like that, sure but you mostly felt the guilt at how much you ached for them now. How you would do anything to swap places with the girl in the video. 

How you wanted your first time to be them. 

You’d thought about nothing else and had imagined every scenario of you asking them to be your firsts. But every scenario you played out in your head ended with rejection. There’s no way they would ever see you like that, you were certain.

You also knew that they would sense something was wrong and you were certain Steve’s charm and Eddie’s smirk could convince you to confess to murder. There’s no way you would be able to keep your mouth shut.

But, even if you did somehow manage to just not mention it you weren’t sure you could be around them with all these new and weird feelings bubbling inside you. How could you stand to be around someone when your whole body longed for them? 

***

Steve waited outside his house as he heard the familiar sounds of Eddie’s van coming down his street, the usual beat of some metal song Steve automatically recognises being heard before he could even see the van. I definitely hang out with Eddie too much, he thinks to himself with a fond smirk. 

He nervously picks at the skin on his fingers as he waits for Eddie’s van to park before jogging down the driveway to meet him. He isn’t nervous to see Eddie, it's you. You've been distant with both of them and they’re worried. It’s not like you to push them away no matter what. So they both decided to show up at your house tonight, favourite takeaway in hand and get to the bottom of what was going on with you. 

Eddie greets Steve as he climbs into his van. 

“Do you think she’d prefer Chinese or Pizza tonight?” Eddie asks while backing out of the driveway. 

“You choose,” Steve mumbles back. He’s uncharacteristically quiet and maybe even a little sad, Eddie notices. 

“Hey, I’m sure whatever’s bothering her isn’t that big of a deal. She’ll talk to us, don’t worry. 

Steve sighs in response, “you’re probably right, I guess I’m just thinking the worst. But what if we’ve done something, what if I’ve done something? Like something really bad and I didn’t realise?” Steve rambles. 

Eddie tries his best to listen intently as Steve goes through the list of scenarios swimming around in his head. 

“What if she has a boyfriend?” Steve questions, practically spitting the last word. He freezes as he realises how that must have sounded, “No- ah, I don't mean like that, of course she can have a boyfriend, it's not like she needs, my- um our permission and I wouldn’t like care, just, her last boyfriend was awful and I don’t want her hurt like that again”.

“Yeah, shit, I hated that guy,” Eddie agrees, brushing over the other awkwardness but Steve sees a weird and unreadable expression on Eddie’s face at the mention of your possible boyfriend being the cause for you pulling away so suddenly. “We only saw her less than two weeks ago anyway, there’s no way she could have met someone that fast,” Eddie reassures Steve, although it sounds like he’s trying to convince himself more. 

“Well, ah that’s not exactly true man,” Steve says sheepishly, “I did see her a couple days ago at the grocery store, right before I called you actually”.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I said hi and she was weird man, she was looking around too, like anywhere but me as if she was looking for someone maybe?” 

“Oh.” Eddie clenched his jaw as his knuckles turned white against the steering wheel. 

***** 

You had just gotten home from work and changed into something comfortable, contemplating what you wanted for dinner tonight when you heard the unmistakable sound of Eddie’s van pull up your driveway 

Shit. 

You knew it was too good to be true that you would be able to keep your distance. Your goddamn amazing, sweet and thoughtful bestfriends of course knew you were avoiding them and of course they couldn’t just let you. 

You quickly check yourself in the mirror, brushing down your hair and feeling weirdly self conscious in the tiny lounge shorts and singlet top both Eddie and Steve had seen you in countless times. 

You contemplated changing into something more baggy but didn’t have time as you heard a rap at your door. It’s just Eddie and Steve you tell yourself as you open it. 

The minute you see them they’re pulling you into tight hugs, telling you how much they both missed you. You mumble back that you missed them too but can’t help feeling tense under their once comforting touch. 

“We bought your favourite”, Eddie sang as you let them inside, jiggling the plastic bag in his hand.

Your gaze lingered a little too long on Eddie's fingers as he gripped the bag, thoughts immediately going to how they looked wrapped around his cock or tangled in Steve’s hair. It’s not like you’d never noticed Eddie’s hands before, especially with those bloody rings he wore but it seemed as though you were seeing them, really seeing them for the first time. 

You felt arousal pool at your core at the thought of them exploring all over you, inside of you. 

I’m going to ask them.

You jumped as you felt Steve’s hand on your shoulder, realising you’d been staring at Eddie for way too long. 

“You okay honey?” Steve asked, concern scrunching his features. 

“Y-yeah, yeah sorry, I’m just a bit tired I think,” you replied with a weak laugh, “let's eat.”

Eddie and Steve share a look but don’t say anything as you all sit at the table at your usual spots. The spots you’ve all sat in millions of time, eating, laughing and drinking with the closest friends you’ve ever had. Friends that meant the world to you. Friends you couldn’t lose. 

I can’t ask them. 

Eddie and Steve started up a conversation, talking about a new scene Steve had done, how it was “by far one of the craziest”. Usually you’d be interested in what it was but as Steve kept rambling on, you just couldn’t get yourself to listen. Too caught up in your own thoughts as you mentally battled the ache between your legs. 

It’s not like they’d care right? I mean they do this for work. It’d just be like work. It couldn’t hurt to ask at least… unless they completely reject you and you ruin the best friendship you’ve ever had. 

But they did that scene together, they even kissed and did… other stuff and it didn’t ruin their friendship. If anything they seem closer now, it would be the same for you, right? 

But that’s their job. It would be different with you. You’re less skilled, less confident, this isn’t your job. 

Maybe it would be better with you? You’ve known them forever, maybe they’d be even more comfortable if it were you? 

God, you’re not even listening to what Steve’s saying. You feel like such a bad friend. Here you are thinking about fucking both of them instead of listening and having a nice dinner with them. A dinner of your favourite food that they surprised you with because they knew something was off with you. 

How did I get lucky enough to have these two boys in my life?

But you were lucky. These two boys knew you. They knew everything about you and would never judge you. Even if they didn’t want to do it with you, you knew they’d be nice about it. God knows they’ve said and asked you more embarrassing things, they’d forgive you, they’d be kind. 

You want your first time to be them. 

You knew you’d never be able to think straight unless you just asked them. Before your brain could catch up with your mouth you suddenly blurted it out.

“I wanna fuck,” you cut off Steve suddenly, almost yelling it out and startling them both, “me, both of you, want you to fuck me.” The last bit comes out in barely a whisper. 

Wow so smooth 

Eddie all but chokes on his food while Steve lets out a shocked what????

You look down at your lap, fiddling with your fingers as your cheeks flush with embarrassment… this wasn’t how you were going to ask and that definitely wasn;t the reaction you’d hoped for. 

They both stare at you, waiting for some kind of explanation. 

“I watched the tape,” you mumble. 

“Ohhhhh,” Eddie says as Steve looks at him confused. Steve didn’t know that Eddie dropped the tape off, shit. 

“The tape, Harrington,” Eddie explains, “you know, of the two sexiest men alive doing some very naughty things together.”

It finally clicks in Steve’s head what you’re both talking about. “You gave her a copy of the tape?” He asks. 

He sounds angry, you think as shame washes over you. 

“How did you even get extra copies yet?” Steve asks Eddie. 

“I gave her my personal copy,” Eddie shrugs. 

They’re glossing over your question. 

You sink in on yourself further. This was such a bad idea, of course they wouldn’t want to fuck you. The girl in the tape was so confident, so experienced. Why would they want to go for someone like you? There’s no way they’d have any fun with you. 

“Didn’t want her to have to wait until it was fully released and good thing I didn’t. You liked what ya saw that much huh sweetheart?” Eddie says cockily.  

You know he doesn’t mean it to come out mean but it has you on the verge of tears. You feel so embarrassed, contemplating running to your room and locking yourself in until they leave. You can’t bring yourself to look at them. 

Steve kicks Eddie under the table at seeing your reaction to his comment. 

“Ouch! Dude what the-“ he goes to scold Steve but quickly stops at the look on Steve’s face. Steve cocks his head towards you and gives Eddie a look of shut up, look what you did. 

Eddie looks over at you, seeming to only just notice how much you’ve shrunk in your seat. Tears threatening to fall out of the corner of your sad, embarrassed eyes. 

“No, sweetheart, I’m sorry please don’t cry,” Eddie tried to console. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have teased you I just ah, did not expect that.” 

Steve seems somewhat pleased with that and tries his best to sooth you too. “Come on honey, we’re not mad or anything, promise,” Eddie nods in agreement and mumbles out a “yeah absolutely not”. “We were just a little shocked is all.” Steve continues with a laugh. 

You finally chance a glance at them. You’re surprised to see no anger or teasing looks on their faces. They look kind, safe and maybe like pitying you just a little bit. Still not what you were hoping for but you’d take it over them being angry and hating you forever. 

You take a deep breath before finally talking properly for the first time all night. 

“I’m sorry, I should’ve found a better way to ask, it’s just,” you sigh, trying to form the right words this time, “you both know I’m not the most experienced - or really experienced at all- and the little experience I do have… wasn’t the best.” 

Eddie snorts, recalling you ex- douchebag with a scoff of “understatement”. You smile slightly at how annoyed he still is at how your ex treated you. 

“And I just,” you continue, “when I saw both of you, with that chick, and how much she was enjoying it and how much fun it looked, I guess I just felt like maybe I was missing out.” 

“Hey,” Steve coos, taking your hand gently in his,”you’re not missing out on anything, there's no timeframe for when you have to do that stuff.”

“I mean, it is definitely fun,” Eddie expands, “but only if you’re comfortable and feel like it’s the right time for you.”

You give them both a small smile. They’re so nice, but they still didn’t say yes. 

“I’m sorry I asked,” you say sheepishly, “I just feel so safe with you both and I guess just thought that maybe sex would actually be good with you. I know that was stupid because you’re my best friends and I wouldn’t know what I’m doing so I know you wouldn’t have fun with me. I can’t do the things that the other girl did.”

Their hearts swell at your confession, you feel safe with them. But they grow confused as you mention the girl from the tape. 

“Hey,” Eddie tries, “experience doesn’t mean shit -”

“Eddie, I can hardly even make myself cum!” you practically yell at him, you appreciate them trying to be nice but you’re growing frustrated at the whole situation, “I know you both don’t want to and I know you wouldn’t have fun, it’s okay.”

“Wait seriously?” Eddie exclaims before he can stop himself. 

Great, another thing to feel shame about.

This earns him another look from Steve.  “No not like that,” Eddie tries to rectify what he said, “it just seems like a real shame that a pretty thing like you hardly ever gets to feel good, even from herself.” 

You roll your eyes at his trademark flirting but have to hide the smile trying to grace your lips at him calling you pretty. 

Steve and Eddie share a look, seemingly having a silent conversation. You really hate how much closer they’ve gotten recently. 

“Alright,” Eddie says with a nod, “we'll do it.”

“What?” you question.

“We wanna help you out,” Steve explains, “we want to be your firsts, if you still want to.”

You’re hearing things. You must be. The shame got too much and you passed out, this is now some weird and cruel trick your brain is playing on you. It has to be.

“A-are you sure?” you question hesitantly. 

“Positive,” Eddie says while flashing his gorgeous smile, “hell, if I’d known it wouldn’t ruin our friendship I would’ve been all over you since highschool sweetheart.”

You shake your head and bite back a smile. You know he’s joking and just trying to butter you up - but you’re only half right. 

“Well, how do we start?” You blurt out, you want them, need them right now. 

“We’re not going to do anything tonight babe” Steve says sweetly. 

“Oh, right,” you say embarrassed but they both smile sweetly at your eagerness. 

“I’m free Tuesday and Wednesday next week, what about you two?” you ask. 

“Yeah Tuesday works for me.”

“Me too.”

“Perfect,” Eddie says, “so Tuesday we’ll meet here and then we can sit down with you and figure out your likes and dislikes, what you have and haven’t done, and what you’d like to try. Just like we do before any scene we’re in.” 

You’re kind of surprised to see Eddie so serious, all business. But you guess that makes sense, this is his job after all. 

You appreciate how serious they’re treating this but can’t help but feel a little nervous now, you’re not even sure what you like. 

Sensing your nerves, Steve quickly reassures you, “don’t worry, we’ll walk you through it okay?”.

“Yeah, we’ll figure all that stuff out together,” Eddie adds.

“Okay”, you reply. 

Steve gives your knee a reassuring squeeze while Eddie flashes you a smile. You can’t believe how much you trust both men in front of you. 

The rest of dinner went by smoothly. You felt like a huge weight had been lifted off your chest and you finally felt like your old self again. It was back to normal, just you, Eddie and Steve. 

****

Wednesday comes around faster than you expected. You thought that the days in between would drag on but as Wednesday approached you found your nerves easily drawing the excitement you’d once felt. That’s when Wednesday seemed to be in front of you too quickly. 

You’ve spent all afternoon after you got off work frantically cleaning, showering, drowning yourself in nice smelling things, washing your hair, moisturising, your whole routine practically 5 times over. 

You hear a knock on the door, yelling that it’s open as you check yourself over once more in the mirror. You wipe your clammy palms on the front of your singlet top and shorts while trying to huff out all of your anxieties. 

Come on you can do this, you wanted this.

You reach for the door with shaky hands, slinking out of the bathroom on jelly legs. You find them both relaxing on the couch, looking much more comfortable than you feel. 

“H-hey,” you stutter out sheepishly. Their heads turn to you as they hear you enter. Comforting smiles adorn their faces, melting a tinge of your worries as soft heys leave their lips. Eddie pats the couch in between the two of them and you plop down between them, not meeting their eyes as you pick nervously at the skin on your fingers. 

Eddie puts his arm on the back of the couch, absentmindedly playing with a strand of your hair as Steve places his warm hand on your knee. The gestures are supposed to be comforting but you can’t help but flinch slightly under their touch. 

“Are you okay?” Steve asks softly, ducking his head to try and meet your gaze. 

“Y-yeah,” you respond shakily, hating how small your voice sounds. 

“Hey, you know we don’t have to do this, yeah?” Eddie asks reassuringly, “say the word sweetheart and we’ll just hang out and watch a movie or something.”

“No, no, I want to… I just have no clue what I'm doing,” you respond with a nervous laugh.

“That’s what your own personal sex gods are for darling,” Eddie quips. 

This earns a chuckle from you and Steve, your shoulders relaxing slightly at the familiar feeling of Eddie. 

“So,” Steve announces, “what are some of your “hard no”s?” And at the confused look on your face, “what’s something that, no matter what, you do not want us to do.” 

You looked away from him as you thought long and hard…. You came up blank though, how could you know what you didn’t like if you didn’t even know what you do? 

“Hard No’s could be something like you hate neck kisses or in more intense situations you’re not a massive fan of face slapping, things like that.” 

Your eyes widened at that. 

“We’re not gonna do anything like that now! No slapping or anything, yet,” Eddie emphasised that with a wink, “but those are some examples.” 

“I-I like neck kisses… I think,” you mumble, “and if we’re not going to do anything that… intense right now I guess I don’t really have any?” 

Eddie and Steve nod as they hang on to your every word. The care in which they’re approaching this definitely helping to lower your rapid heart rate. 

“Okay,” Steve continues, “anything you really want to try right now?” 

“Umm… I guess I wish I was better at kissing,” you say with a cringe, embarrassed at how tame that request was, you try to cover yourself as your cheeks heat up. “I mean, I have kissed before, obviously, I just haven’t for a while and I dunno I feel like I kind of do it weird I don-“ 

Eddie cuts off your rambling when he brings his hand to cup your cheek. You look in his eyes hesitantly as you subconsciously nuzzle into his calloused hand. 

A small smile adorns his lips as he searches your eyes, his own chocolate orbs darkening slightly as he glances at your lips. 

He slowly brings his thumb up to ghost over your bottom lip, causing goosebumps to rise on your arms. 

“We can definitely help with that, sweetheart,” he whispers lowly as he moves increasingly closer to you. 

You nod slightly. Trying to will him to close the sliver of a distance between your lips. 

“Words,” he whispers.

“Please,” you breathe. And it’s all Eddie needs to hear before closing the distance, his lips barely pressing into yours as if too much pressure would break you under him. 

Feeling a surge of confidence you push your lips into his more. It’s all the confirmation he needs before he’s deepening the kiss. It’s all consuming, years of emotion, comfort and longing all coming to the surface as you kiss each other with vigour.  

You feel Steve’s soft lips travel up your shoulder to the slope of your neck and up along your throat. You audibly shiver at the feeling, causing Eddie and Steve to smile into your lips and neck. 

“Yeah you definitely like neck kisses,” Steve teases in between the feather touches. You don’t know if it’s from Steve’s tone or the kisses themselves but you can feel arousal pool in your panties because of it. 

You feel all consumed by Steve and Eddie but before you can lose yourself in them completely you feel Eddie pull away. He smirks as you chase his lips but uses the hand still cupping your cheek to gently direct you towards Steve. You see that he also has his other hand cupping Steve’s cheek as he brings you both together. 

Steve’s kiss is gentler than Eddies, where Eddie was all consuming Steve is controlled, where Eddie was intense and a little messy Steve is gentle and longing. Eddie’s hand on your face means he can slightly manoeuvre your face, gently guiding you as you and Steve explore each other's mouths. 

Eddie then pulls you away from Steve, you’re about to protest but before you can Eddie leans forward on the couch, dragging Steve with him before crashing his lips against Steve’s in front of you.

You watch in awe as they practically devour each other. You can tell they were definitely holding back for you as this kiss is feral and bruising. It has you clenching your thighs together, longing for them to handle you like this. 

You’re also very aware of Eddie’s hand still cupping your face and Steve’s hand still on your knee, both of them rubbing soothing circles in your skin to let you know they haven’t forgotten about you. 

You whine as you watch the continued onslaught, causing Eddie and Steve to finally break the kiss. 

“This is supposed to be about her,” Steve breathes into Eddie’s lips, faces barely pulled away from each other. 

“Couldn’t help myself,” Eddie mumbles, staring at Steve’s raw and glistening lips. 

“I don’t mind,” you say quickly, as much as you’d love for their attention to be back on you, you cannot deny how erotic it was watching them together, “trust me.”

They chuckle at how breathless you sound just from some kissing, but it only spurs them on more. 

Eddie leans away from Steve then, dropping his hand from Steve’s face to bring both hands up to your face, palms pressed into your cheeks gently, contrasting the fierce kiss he seers into your lips. 

The kiss still doesn’t match the roughness of Eddie and Steve’s kiss but it’s by far the most intensely you’ve ever been kissed. It’s all consuming and leaves you breathless but aching for more. You subconsciously press yourself further into Eddie as you let him consume you. 

Eddie can’t get enough of you either, wishing he’d had the courage to do this years ago. He expertly hooks his hands under your knees and drags you on to his lap, swallowing the gasp you let out into his mouth, lips never leaving each other. 

His hands venture up the sides of your plush thighs, you can tell that he’s holding back, doing his best to not overwhelm you but you need more. You tangle your fingers in his soft, frizzy hair, pulling every so slightly, as you start to timidly rock your hips against him, earning the most beautiful groan from him. 

You hear Steve shuffle closer, sitting with his thigh pressed into the side of calf as you straddle Eddie. His hand travelling up your back soothingly until it comes to rest on the side of your neck. 

At hearing Steve shuffle forward, Eddie pulls back from you again, so that Steve can capture your lips but also so he can take a breather, self control drastically slipping away the longer he feels your body move on his. 

Steve matches Eddie’s intensity, causing you to let little moans and sighs slip into his lips as you continue to grind against Eddie. Your little shorts and soft fabric of your underwear were almost soaked through.  

Eddie watches you both, pupils blown completely black from lust. You rock your hips at a particularly good angle, dragging sinfully over Eddie’s almost hard dick. He hisses and throws his head back, willing himself to stay softer for long. This is about you, he tries to remind himself. 

“We should take this to the bedroom,” Eddie sighs with a shaky breath, desperation lacing his words.

You giggle and hop off his lap, taking both of their hands and pulling them up off the couch before turning to lead them to your room. Boy are they thankful for you going first, their eyes watching your ass jiggle in your incredibly tight and tiny shorts as you walk. 

You stand awkwardly in the middle of the room as they both filter in after you. 

“So, we’ve talked about it,” Steve breaks the silence first, “and we think the first thing should be you showing us how you get yourself off.”

“That way at least you know how to make yourself feel good and it's a real shame you’re missing out.”

“O-okay,” you mumble, but don’t move, you’re not really sure what they want from you and you’re frozen from the fear of making a fool of yourself. Also trying not to think about the fact that they’ve talked about it, talked about you and how to make you feel good without you. But also very thankful that they’re obviously taking this very seriously. 

After a pause Eddie continues, “why don’t you take your shorts off for us, yeah?”

You nod, and with trembling fingers you slowly slide your shorts off. Both boys eye your core, clad in cute cotton panties. 

“These are cute,” Eddie whispers, ghosting his fingers along your bare thigh before snapping your waistband lightly against you. You jump and giggle, ducking your head as your cheeks turn crimson. 

“Hop on the bed for us?” Eddie asks, but it’s more of a request, “Get nice and comfy against the headboard.”

You do as they say, leaning back against your pillows half propped up as the boys come to kneel at the end of your bed, watching you intently. You’re confused as to why you’re not fully naked, or at least have your underwear off but don’t have time to dwell on that. 

“Whenever you’re ready, beautiful,” Steve coos. 

Before you can overthink it you move your underwear to the side, plunging your finger in straight away. “Whoa whoa whoa, hey,” Eddie stops you and you freeze and take your finger out instantly, looking up at him with worried eyes, anxious thoughts swimming in your head, “you just put your fingers in straight away?” 

“Well yeah…” how else were you supposed to finger yourself? 

Steve smiles at your innocence, trying not to laugh at how adorable you look right now. 

“Jesus well no wonder you can’t make yourself cum, there’s no foreplay” 

You just look at them confused. 

“You know,” Steve tries, “you gotta get yourself warmed up.” But you still just stare confusedly at them. 

They exchange a look, wondering how else to explain it to you.

“Hang on I got an idea,” Steve says, climbing towards you on the bed. Your breath hitches as you watch him crawl towards you, very aware of his proximity to your half naked form, even though you just had your lips all over his minutes ago. “Sit up and scoot down for me a little bit honey?” 

You do as he says and he comes to sit behind you, legs outstretched on either side of yours. He softly drags his fingertips down your arms, until he reaches your hands, you go to hold his hands and you feel him smile against the side of your head. 

“Other way,” he whispers and you flip your hands so that the back of yours is resting in his palms. 

“That’s it,” he coos, “now rub your hands up your thighs, yeah, just like that.” Goosebumps started to rise on your skin from the slight touches, running up and down your legs, sometimes dipping in between them but never actually touching your core. 

“Give those gorgeous tits some attention Stevie,” Eddie demands softly, eyes burning holes into you and Steve in front of him. 

Steve complies silently. Bringing your hands up for you to cup one of your breasts, squeezing softly as your other hand teases the waistband of your panties. Everything feels so good and so sensual but it’s not enough. You start to get antsy, whimpering softly and arching into your own touch, willing Steve to give you more. 

Your eyes meet Eddie’s silently begging him to make Steve do something. You’re lucky that Eddie seems to be in a gentle mood today as he smirks at you. 

“Why don’t you show us those pretty tits properly huh?”

“Please,” you whine desperately. 

Steve lets go of your hands to lift your shirt over your head, discarding it somewhere on the floor. You suddenly feel very self conscious but the look of awe on Eddie’s face and the sharp intake of breath you hear Steve take behind you has you feeling more confident than you thought. 

You can’t help but think back to the look on their faces as they watched the other girl on the tape. You feel almost pride as you realise the way Eddie is looking at you is different, better. He’s looking at you not just with lust but with awe and adoration. 

Steve finally brings both of your hands up to cup your tits firmly, nudging your thumbs up to rub your nipples into hard perks. You moan at the feeling, head lulling back against his shoulder and grinding into the mattress to try and gain some friction. 

“God, look at you,” Eddie practically moans, “wish you could see how pretty and needy she looks right now, and so wet.” You whimper at his words, grinding harder and pinching your nipples. 

“Yeah?” Steve whispers, lips grazing your ear, “that feel good princess? You ready for some more?” 

“Please more, n-need more,” you beg. 

“Mmm good girl using your manners,” Eddie teases, as he inches his hands towards your core, hooking his fingers in the waistband of your panties. Your stomach flips at the praise, breath hitching. Finally you get to be their good girl. Steve takes note of that. 

Eddie pauses, looking at you for confirmation before pulling them down your legs once you nod. 

Any previous nerves you might have had at being fully naked before them, especially while they were still fully clothed is gone. Replaces only with lust and your need to come. 

Eddie repositions your legs so that they’re spread open and bent before him as he leans back on his heels between them. Steve finally directs your hand to your core. 

“Think you can do this part yourself?” He checks, “we’ll still walk you through it though okay?”

“Yeah, I can,” you reply. 

“Good girl,” he coos much more sweetly than Eddie, smirking when he gets a similar reaction, “leave this hand up here though, keep giving these tits some love.” 

You nod and Steve lets go of your other hand, it’s all up to you now. You dip your fingers near your core, but this time you run your fingers over it, surprised at how wet you feel as you smear the slick around. 

“That’s it, pretty girl, nice and slow,” Eddie coos.

You finally dip your finger into your dripping cunt, moaning at how much more intense it is compared to usual. You pump your finger inside you, and try your best to remember to play with your nipple at the same time. 

Slowly you add another finger, pumping them faster. 

“Do you usually play with your clit too baby?” 

You shake your head, “it’s never really felt that good.”

“You’re nice and wet, trust me it’ll feel good,” Eddie assures you, “use your thumb but keep those fingers going in your pretty cunt.”

Your eyes roll back at his words as you bring your thumb up to circle your clit. You jolt as you feel the pad slide over the wet bud, 

“Fuck it feels so good,” you moan as the boys smirk at you. 

You speed up your assault on your sopping pussy. Feeling the telltale signs that your orgasm was rapidly approaching. 

“‘M close,” you warn desperately. The sounds of your fingers flying in and out of your dripping core filling the room. 

You vaguely hear them tell you that you can cum before your orgasm crashes into you. It's so intense it has you practically screaming, legs shaking as you drench your hand and wrist. 

It lasts for what seems like hours as you continue to finger yourself through it before slumping back against Steve, fingers falling from your abused hole. 

You’re a panting, whimpering mess as you finally register Eddie and Steve whispering sweet praises of you did so good for us, you’re so pretty baby and bet that felt good sweet girl. All while Steve caresses your shoulders and arms as Eddie smooths circles in your ankles. 

When Eddie can see you’ve finally returned to earth he asks how it was, a smug look gracing his features. 

“So good,” you moan with a laugh. 

Eddie then climbs in between your legs, giving you a soft kiss as he mumbles “you look so pretty when you cum for us little one.” The old nickname has your heart swelling and cunt pulsing. 

“More,” you whimper against his lips. They chuckle at you as Steve presses a kiss to your temple. 

“Not today sweetheart,” Eddie responds, “wouldn’t want to overwhelm you”. 

“But what about you two?” you ask innocently, wanting nothing more than to get your hands on more of them. 

“It’s okay sweet girl,” Eddie coos, “you don’t have to worry about us.” Steve mumbles in agreement, pressing more kisses to your temple and cheek. 

You suddenly remember the position in the tape that made you get to the edge fastest, Steve on his knees in front of Eddie. You need to see them fully, you need to see what you got a glimpse at on the tape. 

“Hey you know, in the- ah, in the film,” you start, nerves suddenly returning. Eddie cocks his head, interested in where this is going. “A-after you,” you nod towards Eddie, “had fucked her and then Steve um… knelt in front of you and um-” you try your best to explain it but you can’t seem to form the words you need. Brain foggy from your orgasm and nerves. 

 “You wanna watch Stevie suck my cock baby?” Eddie asks cockily, finishing your request for you. 

You nod.

“hmm guess it’s a good way to teach her how,” Steve reasons.

“Mmm,” Eddie hums in agreement,  “and I’d be lying if I said seeing you cum didn’t make me as hard as a rock sweetheart”. You look down and blush at the obvious outline of Eddie’s hard cock in his pants, eyes bulging slightly. You knew he was big, you saw it in the tape, but seeing even the outline in person was completely different. You meet his eyes again and he gives you a wink, causing your cheeks to heat up. 

“Yeah shit,” Steve replies, “me too.” That’s when you realise you can feel his boner pressed against your back, causing you to blush even further. Surprised you had the effect on both of them. 

“Besides,” Steve continues, tone flirty, “would love to get my mouth around that pretty cock of yours again Eds.” You whimper at his words which causes both of them to chuckle fondly at you. 

“Hop up baby,” Steve instructs while patting the sides of your ass fondly, “We’ll go kneel in front of Ed’s on the floor while he sits on the bed, everyone can be nice and comfortable like that.” 

You nod as you hop off the bed. Eddie rids himself of his shirt as he sits at the end of the bed, grabbing one of your pillows to place on the floor before helping you to kneel on it in between his spread legs. 

Your eyes wander over the expanse of his chest and stomach unabashedly. Feeling much bolder in your post orgasm haze. You take in the black ink that lines his chest and arms, a few more than you realised he’d had and that you’d definitely missed while watching the tape. In your defence you were a little preoccupied then.

Your eyes linger a little on the happy trail that dips into the waist of his jeans. You’re suddenly very aware of the fact that you’re going to see Eddie, all of Eddie in person. Something you'd be lying if you said you hadn't thought about, many times, since that first week at highschool. 

Your eyes travel up and take in how his curly locks cascade over his shoulders, almost covering the demon that adorns his upper chest. Your eyes finally meet his and you realise he’s been watching you watch him the whole time, an amused expression on his face. 

He brings his hand up to cup your face, rubbing soothing circles in your skin. Your eyes flutter slightly as you nuzzle into his hand. 

You notice Steve as he comes to stand next to you, having taken his shirt off too as well as his jeans, leaving him in nothing but his boxers before you. His dick has softened slightly but you can still make out a pretty clear outline of it in your boxers. The site makes you ache for them, but you know they’re going to make you take this painfully slow. 

You look up at him in awe as he comes to kneel beside you, capturing your lips with his, smiling as he kisses you sweetly. 

“Ready Eds?” Steve asks tauntingly, pulling away from you, already knowing Eddie’s answer. 

“Yep,” Eddie replies, popping the last letter of the word. 

Steve’s hands smooth up Eddie’s thighs, looking up at him innocently. He goes to pop open the button of Eddie’s jeans but before he can, a thought crosses your mind. 

“Do guys need to be, like, “warmed up” too?” you ask innocently. 

“Not exactly,” Eddie responds with a sweet, gentle smile, “maybe a little bit to get hard but trust me, watching you cum and having you two pretty things kneeling in front of me is more than enough warming up for me.” He chuckles with a shake of his head, like he’s in disbelief of the sight in front of him. 

Steve finally unbuttons Eddie's jeans, pulling his pants and boxers down as Eddie lifts his hips to help. You and Steve move back slightly so Eddie can get his pants off fully. 

You watch, mouth slightly agape as his dick springs up against his stomach, tip red and leaking precum. Your mouth waters at the sight, but you wait for Steve to demonstrate. 

You watch as Steve takes Eddie in his hand, gripping loosely as he licks from his balls all the way to the tip. Your eyes flick to Eddie’s face, watching as his eyes flutter softly as he sucks in a breath at the feeling of Steve's tongue on his shaft. 

After licking up and down Eddie’s length a couple of times Steve finally takes the tip into his mouth, sucking wetly on it. You watch with lidded eyes as Eddie’s head lulls back, exposing the length of his gorgeous neck as he moans out “jesus Steve.”

Steve smiles as much as he can with Eddie still in his mouth before bobbing his head up and down along the length, taking more and more into his mouth with each movement. He suddenly brings his hand up to the length not in his mouth before pulling off Eddie fully with a pop and spitting a string of saliva over the tip. 

You watch it drip slowly down the length, mouth opening slightly at the urge to lick it up. 

Steve then brings his hand up, catching the spit and rubbing it all over Eddie before taking him back in his mouth, Eddie’s hand flying to Steve’s head to tangle his fingers in the golden locks. You feel more arousal coat your slit as you watch Steve suck Eddie’s cock desperately. 

You hear pretty, soft moans coming from Eddie. You tear your eyes away from Steve to glance up at Eddie’s face. You look at him through lust filled eyes. His lips parted slightly as his moans fall off them, eyebrows furrowed slightly as his face contorts with the onslaught of pleasure, his bangs sticking to his sweaty forehead. He looks breathtaking. 

Eddie notices you staring, dark, chocolate orbs finding your lust filled ones as he holds your gaze, staring deep into you as he continues to moan and whimper. 

Your body feels like it's on fire. You need to feel Eddie down your throat. 

“Can I try?” you ask suddenly. Tearing your gaze from Eddie back to Steve as he releases the older boy from his mouth. His lips are red and swollen, mouth wet from a mix of saliva and Eddie’s precum, his hair dishevelled from Eddie’s fingers and tears pricking the corners of his eyes. 

“Sure thing pretty girl,” Steve rasps, his throat raw from Eddie’s cock, “you think you got it?”

You nod before leaning forward, tongue darting out to rub along Eddie’s slit as Steve still holds the shaft for you. The salty, musky taste of the mix of Eddie’s pre and Steve’s saliva invades your mouth, you need more. 

Cautiously you take the tip into your mouth, sucking on it lightly. You hear Eddie suck in a shaky breath in response, your confidence growing as you start to suck more harshly. 

You start to bob your head before Steve pats your head mumbling out a one second. You release Eddie from your mouth with a confused look on your face and Steve just wants to kiss it away. 

He grabs your hand with the one not around Eddie and brings it to his lips. Kissing the palm before spitting directly on to it. You gasp slightly at the action, not realising how turned on that would make you. 

Steve then directs your hand to Eddie’s length, replacing his hand with yours. You take the tip in your mouth again, using the other hand to jerk off the length not in your mouth, as Steve had. 

You start to bob your head faster and take more of Eddie into your throat. His moans increase and you can tell he’s trying his best not to tangle his fingers roughly in your hair too, knuckles white as he grips the duvet instead. 

“God, you’re such a good girl,” he moans.  You get a little too cocky when his head hits the back of your throat violently, causing you to gag on his thick length, you hear Eddie moan in surprise before you’re pulling off of him, spluttering as tears prick your eyes. 

Eddie rubs your head soothingly, while Steve rubs your back, cooing softly at you until you stop coughing. 

“Sorry,” you mumble, feeling embarrassed by your reaction. Eddie wipes away a stray tear that’s fallen down your cheek 

“S’okay baby,” he reassures, “you don’t have to go that deep.”

“I just wanted to make you cum,” you mumble, looking down at the floor. 

“Oh sweet girl, trust me you will,” he expels air, almost in disbelief at how good you were making him feel, “you were getting me so close.” 

“Really?” you ask, eyes twinkling up at him. 

He nods with a fond look on his face, “wanna try again?”

You nod vigorously, gripping on to his shaft again. You remember how Steve had licked the length of Eddie before taking him into his mouth. You repeat his action from earlier while maintaining eye contact with Eddie, earning you a low moan of oh fuck before taking him into your mouth once more. 

You bob your head a couple more times, speeding up and making sure you keep jerking off the part you can’t fit into your mouth. Eddie's hand flies to your head but he tries his best to not push your head or grab your hair too tightly. 

His head tips back with a groan, orgasm hurtling towards him after holding back and being edged for so long - not that he minded, he wanted to make this good for you, even if that meant being edged all night. 

Eddie turns into a babbling mess, “fuck baby I’m getting so close, yeah just like that, you’re such a good girl for us, yeah, don’t take it too deep, just keep going like that sweetheart.”

You feel Eddie’s dick get incredibly hard, pulsing in your mouth and you know he’s close. 

“Oh fuck baby, if you don’t stop I’m gonna cum in that pretty mouth,” he warns. You only look up at him, maintaining eye contact as you continue to suck him. 

“Shit, you want it, don’t ya baby? My dirty fucking girl,” he drawls out. 

You moan in response, the vibrations shooting straight up Eddie’s spine. It’s all Eddie needs to send him over the edge. 

“I’m gonna, fuck sweetheart, I’m gonna-” Eddie cums down your throat with a loud moan, you do your best to swallow it all but some of his cum dribbles out the side of your mouth involuntarily. 

Once you’re sure you've got the last drop you let Eddie fall out of your mouth with a pop. Eddie and Steve stare at you in awe, you look completely fucked out with you glassy eyes, swollen lips and cum dripping down to your chin. 

Steve can’t help himself - he’d missed the taste of Eddie too much-  he leans forward, licking from your chin to your mouth before capturing your lips in a sloppy kiss. Tongue frantically exploring every crevice, savouring any taste of Eddie he can get. 

Eddie watches you both, panting as he comes down from his high. He can see the outline of Steve’s hard cock straining painfully against his boxers, his mouth waters as he gets an idea. 

“I’d hate to break you two up but I think Stevie more than deserves some attention from us too sweetheart.”

You break the kiss with a wicked smile on your face, oh he definitely does.

“Wanna help me babe?” He asks you. 

“Please,” you reply too sweetly. 

“Alright, swap with me Steve,” Eddie instructs. 

The boys swap positions and Steve rids himself of his boxers before sitting in his spot on the bed. You swallow hard at the sight of his thick cock before you, much thicker than Eddie’s is and you’d struggled with his. Your uncertainty must show on your face because Steve tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. 

“Don’t worry, Eddie’s gotcha honey,” he reassures cockily. 

“I’m gonna put my hand on your head okay?” Eddie explains, “then I’m gonna move it so one of us is sucking him off while the other plays with his balls and then we’ll swap, sound okay?”

“Jesus…” Steve pants at the idea, there’s no way he’s gonna last with both of you playing with him. You nod at Eddie’s question as his hand comes to tangle softly in your hair. 

He guides you to Steve’s balls while he takes Steve’s tip into his mouth. Steve groans loudly at the sudden onslaught of pleasure from you both. 

You lick Steve’s fuzzy sack sloppily before chancing at taking one into your mouth and sucking lightly. He gasps at the feeling, accidentally bucking at the feeling. You expect Eddie to gag but you’re surprised at how easily Eddie takes him almost all the way down his throat before continuing to bob on him lazily. 

You feel Eddie tug your hair lightly, making you change positions with him. You open your mouth as far as it’ll go before taking Steve’s glistening tip into your mouth. The stretch to your jaw was intoxicating. 

You feel Eddie’s head move up again towards the tip so you release Steve from your mouth, thinking you’re swapping positions again but Eddie doesn’t let you move your head back to Steve’s balls. You watch as he continues to lick all over Steve’s shaft and tip, so you decide to copy his motions instead. 

You both lick messily around Steve, a mix of saliva and pre coating every inch of him. Every now and then you feel Eddie’s tongue graze your own until you’re both practically making out over the tip. You can hear Steve panting and moaning above you. Every time you glance up at him he's watching you both with a dazed, almost pained expression. 

“You guys are, fuck, I’m getting close,” Steve warns. 

At Steve's warning Eddie directs you back to Steve’s balls and you gleefully take one back into your mouth. Eddie takes most of Steve’s length into his mouth, deepthroating him and swallowing, before hallowing his cheeks and dragging his mouth up to the tip . He repeats this over and over until you feel Steve start to shake above you. 

Steve doesn’t even get a chance to warn you both before he’s cumming in Eddie’s mouth with a broken cry, hands flying to both of your heads, holding you both close to him. You’re the first to pull back, watching as Eddie sucks the last out of Steve’s tip with a whine. 

Eddie hears it, and before you see him swallow he’s crashing his lips to yours, shoving his cum covered tongue down your throat. You gasp as it invades your mouth but the sound quickly turns into a moan as you taste Steve on your tongue. 

The kiss is heated and dizzyingly dirty. You’re moaning into each other’s mouths, hands gripping on to each other as your bodies start to inch closer together. You think you’re finally going to feel Eddie’s body pressed against yours when he stops suddenly. 

Eddie could feel himself getting worked up again, and knew if this continued he would have a hard time holding back, wanting nothing more than to make you cum over and over again on his fingers, tongue and cock. Another time he reminds himself. 

All three of you sit panting, none of you willing to break the silence that’s fallen over the room. 

You laugh breathlessly, “holy shit”, you exclaim in disbelief at how the night had unfolded, it was perfect. 

Eddie and Steve copy your breathless laugh. 

“That good huh?” Eddie asks

“It was, shit, it was so good.” 

“Good,” steve responds, “it was fucking good for us too.”

“Fuck yeah,” Eddie agrees. 

“Alright,” Steve groans as he stands up with a stretch, “I desperately need a shower.”

You and Eddie roll your eyes and chuckle at Steve fondly, he sees and give you both the finger while walking back to the living room to grab his and Eddie’s bag, throwing it at the other boy, earning a full blown laugh from you. 

Eddie then stands up before flopping on to the bed, grabbing out to you until you crawl up beside him to join him. He lays on his back while you snuggle up on your side next to him, barely touching each other but close enough to take in the comfort of the others presence. 

“Ya know, if I didn’t know you better I’d think you were lying about being a virgin babe,” he says with no malice behind it, tucking your hair sweetly behind your ear.

You snort and roll your eyes at him. 

“I’m serious!” he assures you, “one of the best blowjobs of my life.” 

You shake your head at him but take the compliment anyway, a smile plastered to your face. 

You lie like that for a while, staring at each other in comfortable silence. Eddie loses himself in your gentle eyes, all the feelings he’s harboured since highschool threatening to spill once again. 

He keeps them to himself though, not wanting to ruin the moment and knowing that wasn’t what this was about. This was just about helping out a friend, so she could be more confident. So she can finally show everyone else the amazing person he’s always seen. 

He watches as your face seems to fall slightly, it’s a subtle change but he picks it up either way. 

“Hey,” he coos, “you still with me?”

“Y-yeah, im fine,” you insist. He doesn’t buy it. 

He gives you the look he always does when he sees straight through your lies, you know there’s no point hiding it. 

“I, um, I don’t know if I wanna be alone tonight,” you whisper. 

You hadn’t noticed the shower had stopped until you hear Steve walk into the room, beating Eddies to reply to you. 

“Duh, of course we’re staying,” he answers. You look up at him in the doorway, drying his hair with a towel and you notice the green and white plaid pjs hanging low on his hips and soft cotton shirt tight against his chest. 

“You’re staying?” you exclaim excitedly. 

“Of course,” Eddie chuckles, “Great sex always needs great aftercare little one.” He plants a sloppy smack of a kiss to your forehead before going for his turn in the shower. 

Steve flops down next to you on his stomach as you roll onto your back, looking up at his damp face and hair. 

“You have fun?” he asks, even though he already knows the answer. 

“So much fun,” you confirm with a smile.

“I think I died and went to heaven when you and Eddie were sucking me off together,” he laughs and you giggle at his dramatics, he’s definitely been spending too much time with Eddie.  

After your laughter has died down he looks at you seriously, tone softening “hey, I’m glad you trusted us enough to do this.”

“Me too,” you reply, soft tone matching his own.  

“And I know eds is glad too,” he continues, you can tell there’s something deeper behind that statement but you’re too tired and blissed out right now to care. 

“I hope so,” is all you reply instead. 

Eddie comes back into the room in his own black pj pants and worn band shirt, letting you know the shower is all yours.

You grab some pjs out of your drawers before having the quickest shower of your life, scared that you’ll take too long and by the time you get out they’ll be gone. This whole evening some sick hallucination your brain made up. 

After you’re dried and dressed you practically run to the room, heart swelling when you see the two men tucked into your bed, facing each other as they whisper softly, Steve on the side closest to your door. They’ve turned off all the lights bar your bedside lamp and have cleaned up all the stray pieces of clothing, all now in a pile at the corner of your room next to their bags. 

At hearing you enter the room Steve rolls on to his back, arm outstretched to you. You take his hand and he helps you climb over him and into the middle of both of them. They mumble hey pretty girl and hey honey and you snuggle up between the two. 

Eddie pulls you on to his chest as Steve snakes an arm around your waist, cuddling up to your back. You’ve all shared a bed together many times before but this time feels different, more intimate. You slowly drift off into a peaceful sleep to the sounds of Eddie’s heartbeat and Steve’s steady breathing. 

Tag List: @andvys @pxrxcxa @wroteclassicaly @eddiemunsonfuxks @usedtobecooler @translatemunson @glorykaterina @bandofoxxking @littledemondani @hellfirebabes @eveatethefruit

[steddieas-shegoes]

all mixed up

for @steddielovemonth prompt “love is the perfect mixtape’

rated t | 940 words | cw: brief mention of recreational drug use | tags: friends to lovers, getting together, love confessions, fluff

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

The silence in the car was stifling.

It was hot. Like, entirely too hot.

Steve was about five seconds away from taking his shirt off and dealing with Robin’s rolled eyes when Eddie, surprisingly, beat him to it.

The windows were down, but the radio was off, and sweat was dripping from every pore of their bodies onto the sticky leather seats of Steve’s car.

Eddie’s shirt was sitting on the seat next to him, and one of his hands was gathering his hair up so he could get some wind on his neck, not that the wind was any real help.

“What if we just all go to Robin’s?” Eddie asked when they were only a block away from her house. “Soak up some cool air.”

“Her parents are home,” Steve said for the fifth time.

“I don’t see the issue.”

“They think you were targeting me as the next victim,” Robin shook her head. “I don’t know how many times I’ve explained to them-“

“Fine!” Eddie said, too hot to bother listening or trying to argue. “But I swear we’re getting the AC in this car fixed tomorrow.”

“Oh, do you suddenly have $140?” Steve was met with silence. “Thought so.”

When Robin got out of the car, she slipped $20 into Steve’s hand. “For gas or AC, whatever.”

It was the first time Eddie had ever seen her give Steve any form of payment for rides, and probably the last going off of the way Steve’s entire face went from mildly uncomfortable to physical pain.

Eddie moved to the passenger seat and buckled up.

That was the biggest rule in Steve’s car: everyone wore seatbelts unless they were being chased by Upside Down creatures.

Steve backed out of the driveway once Robin was inside, and once again tried to flip the AC on.

Nothing.

“Why did this have to happen right before the hottest part of the year?” Eddie groaned.

“Just lucky,” Steve shrugged.

He should’ve taken his shirt off when he was in Robin’s driveway.

He pretended not to be distracted by the sweat glistening on Eddie’s chest, his skin flush pink from the heat. Steve pretended to not notice his newest tattoo, a nail bat that could have been identical to Steve’s real one under his bed.

“Oh!” Eddie suddenly said, nearly making Steve slam on the brakes or steer off the road. Maybe both.

“What’s wrong?”

“I forgot,” Eddie started to say as he reached through the backpack he had on the floor at his feet. “I made a…ah-ha!”

He held up a small rectangle, beaming over at Steve, who was too focused on driving to really see what he was holding.

“Uh. What is it?” He asked.

“It’s a mixtape! You were complaining about the kids stealing all your tapes and I thought I could make one for you,” Eddie opened the cassette case and shoved the tape in the tape deck. “I fit as much of what I knew you had on here, but there are limits to my magic so-“

“You seriously made me a mixtape of a bunch of pop songs?” Steve rolled to a stop at a stop sign, finally able to properly look over at Eddie.

He was pulling a lock of hair into his mouth, nervously looking back at Steve like he was unsure he’d done the right thing, like this was a test he hadn’t studied for and had a big chance of failing.

“I mean, I did throw in one of my favorite songs halfway to shake things up,” Eddie said nervously.

“You recorded fucking Blondie on a tape for me?” Steve asked incredulously.

“One song is Blondie, but-“

“And Tears for Fears?” Steve was still stopped in the road.

Eddie glanced behind them, ignoring the squeak of his slick skin rubbing against the seat. No cars, thankfully.

“Yeah, they’re on there.”

Steve put the car in park.

“Steve, you’re in the road, you can’t-“

“Shut up!” Steve turned completely towards Eddie, his face serious. “You made me a mixtape.”

“Yes and now I’m regretting mentioning it while you were driving.” Duran, Duran started playing and Steve let out a small gasp. “Dude, are you okay?”

“Do you remember when you told me that music was your love language? We were high and you said that you would give the person you love a mixtape to show you cared about them?”

He did say that. It was well over a month ago, when he and Steve had been sitting on his roof smoking, when Eddie had almost told him then how much he loved him. He’d held back, but barely.

“I…yeah, I remember.”

“And you made me a mixtape.”

“I did.”

“Eddie…”

“Steve…”

“Is this you telling me you love me?”

It wasn’t. Not intentionally. Not really.

But as expected, Steve saw through him, had a memory like a steel trap despite how many times he’d had his lights knocked out.

“You love me.”

Eddie was desperate to touch him, but the reminder of how hot it was, how much sweat was dripping off of him made him pause.

“When we get to your house, I’ll tell you.”

“What? Why not now?” Steve pouted.

Eddie fell harder.

“Because if I kiss you in this car, I’ll be mad about suffering in the heat longer. You have a house with AC and a cold shower." Eddie poked Steve's bottom lip back in. "I can show you if you hurry."

Steve took the car out of park and hit the gas, his perfect mixtape playing on the radio and Eddie laughing in the passenger seat.

[fizzydrink698]

passenger | jennie

kinktober day 3: car sex

pairing: kim jennie x female reader

word-count: 5.2k

genre: romance, fluffy smut

warnings: swearing, oral sex (f receiving), fingering, the inherent awkward manoeuvring of car sex, some real fuzzy emotions

summary:

Settling herself down into the space next to you, she draped the blanket over the two of you, shifting closer ever so slightly when it proved not quite big enough to cover you both easily.

…You know, if you’d had to guess where this night would take you, snuggling up with Kim Jennie under a blanket wouldn’t exactly be your first thought.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

Those were Jennie’s first words when she got into your car, her expression cold as she tried to manoeuvre her dress skirts inside so that she could close the car door without trapping them.

Amazingly, despite the rain beginning to pour down outside, she looked incredibly put-together. You’d only really met her a few times – maybe enough to count on two hands – but she always seemed so chic and well-dressed. Designer clothes, perfect hair, and just that…like, aura of elegance.

You didn’t know Jennie particularly well, but when you got the call just after midnight from Rosé that Jennie needed a lift home and the situation was, quote, “really not good”, you didn’t hesitate to make the hour-long journey to her.

You had expected her to be at some kind of house party, or some kind of typical date location – like a restaurant, or something. Not a black-tie gala hosted at a hotel so grand and towering that it made your eyes water just to look at it.

Still, you knew Jennie ran in slightly different circles from you and Rosé. Maybe this was a typical Friday night for her.

You didn’t hesitate to start driving, pulling out of the hotel courtyard with as much speed as you could get away with – but you couldn’t deny the vague flicker of unease in your gut.

“Bad night?” You asked, keeping your eyes on the road.

Jennie didn’t reply.

You continued, trying to keep your voice light. “Like, ‘the food was gross and my foot got stepped on’ bad, or…you know, ‘police report’ bad?”

Jennie sighed, folding her arms over her chest. “Just…people being assholes. No laws broken, I just…didn’t want to be there anymore.”

Slightly reassured, you let the subject drop and continued to drive on in silence.

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Jennie rummage through her clutch purse, draw out her phone – and promptly sigh. “Do you have a phone charger port in here?”

Phone charger port? Your car still had a tape deck. Phone charger ports were a little beyond your budget.

“No, sorry,” you said, glancing over at her. “Do you need one?”

As soon as the words left your mouth, you realised how dumb they were – a realisation only compounded by Jennie’s slow blink at you as she held her dead phone.

“…That was a stupid question,” you mumbled, turning back to the road.

Jennie had the grace not to respond verbally, but her facial expression was enough.

You made the resolution there and then that, for your own pride, it was probably best to keep your mouth shut in front of the pretty girl for the rest of the journey.

That resolution lasted all of twenty-five minutes, ending dramatically when you found yourself stuck on the side of the road, in the middle of nowhere and your back wheels stuck over half a foot deep in mud.

You stood there, outside, staring at the wheels in disbelief as rain just bucketed down from the heavens and drenched you. You barely felt it, a little numb with shock and the pervasive thought of just…what the fuck?

You’d tried everything, but there was no way you were getting out of this without a tow.

Reluctantly, you looked back towards the front of the car – where you could just about see the silhouette of Jennie in the passenger seat, her body turned and leaning over the seat to look back at you.

Shit. This was not your night.

Well, to be fair, it was definitely not her night either.

Putting on a brave face, you squared your shoulders and headed back to the driver’s side, pulling open the car door and wincing slightly as your soaked clothes made contact with the fabric seat.

“Uh, so the car is like stuck in that mud,” you explained, trying your best to keep your voice light. You grabbed your phone from where it had been resting in your cupholder, giving you something to look at that wasn’t Jennie’s face. “We’re going to need a tow truck, I think, so let me just…”

With such a – and you say this lovingly – heap of junk for a car, you had the good sense to save the number of a roadside assistance company in your contacts.

That good sense was wasted, however, when you tried to dial the number and were immediately met with a ‘call failed’ message.

No service.

Of course.

“OK,” you said, lifting your phone up as high as it could go and trying to call again, just in case – but to no avail. “There’s no signal here. I can try walking around when the rain stops to find some, and–”

“We’re in the middle of nowhere,” Jennie pointed out. “There’s not going to be signal for, like, miles around. And…”

She trailed off, attention turning towards the window. Without your car’s headlights, you knew it would be completely pitch-black outside. You briefly imagined trying to stumble around in the middle of the night, the ground still slick with rainwater and mud, and your stomach immediately knotted with dread.

Jennie sighed. “Wait until morning, at least.”

Morning?

Morning was still several hours away, which was a very long time to be stuck in a car with someone you barely knew.

To make matters worse, you were starting to shiver. Your wet clothes were clinging to your skin, growing colder and colder with every passing minute. There was a spare change of workout clothes in the gym bag on your backseat, but there was a very obvious problem with changing clothes right now.

“You look freezing,” Jennie noted, eyebrows raised as you tried not to visibly shudder from the cold in front of her. “Is there, like, anything in this car that you can use to dry off?”

“I mean, I’ve got…I’ve got some other clothes,” you admitted, jabbing a thumb towards the bag behind you.

“Maybe you should put those on, before you get pneumonia.”

“I mean, I can, but are you OK with…I mean, I should probably make sure that you’re–”

Jennie rolled her eyes. “I’m fine. Believe it or not, I’m capable of turning around while you’re getting changed.”

You wanted so badly to defend your reluctance, to press your argument further, but you managed to bite your tongue. You awkwardly clambered over the centre console and through the gap between the front seats towards the back, thankfully managing to avoid contact with Jennie as you did so.

With one last glance towards Jennie, just to make sure she was fine with this and facing the other way, you began to peel off your wet t-shirt.

Aware that undressing in complete silence – especially when that undressing involved a long, protracted struggle with wet clothing – would be horrifically awkward, you cleared your throat and tried to make conversation. “So, what’s up with the big fancy party in the middle of nowhere?”

“It was this fundraiser thing. Work-related,” Jennie explained. “One of our biggest donors owns that hotel, and they offered to host. What about you?”

You paused, one arm out of your shirt, confused. “What about me?”

“What were you doing around here, if you were close enough to give me a ride back to the city?”

“Uh…” you trailed off, unsure of what to say. “I wasn’t?”

“What? You were at home?” Jennie asked, her tone incredulous.

“Yeah?”

She paused, seemingly at a loss for words. “That’s…wait, how far is that? An hour away?”

You didn’t know how to answer that. What should you have done? Downplay it?

You watched Jennie tilt her head, and when she spoke again, her voice was a little softer. “…Rosé said you were nice.”

Your face warmed, unused to compliments. You stalled for a second by taking off your shirt entirely, tossing it onto the driver’s seat. Reaching for the dry t-shirt in your gym bag, you managed to reply with a shrug. “Yeah, I like to think I am, I guess.”

“Maybe too nice,” Jennie pointed out. It wasn’t accusatory, not at all, but it was almost like a warning. Like a piece of advice.

You thought this over, putting on the t-shirt. “…Nah. I’m the perfect amount of nice. Everyone else should step up and get on my level.”

To your surprise, Jennie laughed. Kind of. Her version of a laugh was apparently a soft exhale through her nose, but you caught the way her cheekbones lifted for the briefest of smiles.

You cringed at the feeling of peeling off your wet jeans, throwing them away to join your shirt on the driver’s seat, and pulled on the thick, comfy pair of sweatpants instead. They were a little worn, maybe, but so soft. After suffering in those soaked clothes, they felt like heaven.

Now that you had solved the wet clothes issue, you took a moment to assess the situation the two of you had found yourselves in.

Staying the night in a car was not exactly ideal. The biggest concern was security, but in this regard, you were somewhat reassured. Your car might have been ancient, but it was big and sturdy, with strong thick windows you could barely see out of, let alone into. Nothing was getting in.

The next biggest concern, and one in which the solution was less obvious, was how the fuck you were going to stay warm. You couldn’t keep your engine running forever, which meant eventually, the heaters were going to have to turn off.

You might have been fine with your new clothes, but Jennie’s dress wasn’t exactly built for cold weather. You looked it over for a moment, how bare it left her arms, her shoulders, her delicate collarbones. She’d probably get so cold, even if she did look…

An idea suddenly came to you, and after a second of rummaging around in the dimness of the overhead light, you found what you were looking for, folded up and hidden away in one of the footwells. “Hey, Jennie?”

She turned around, eyes dropping for a second to note your new clothes, before bringing them back up to your face. “Yeah?”

“You want a blanket?” You asked, grabbing the item in question and extending it to her.

Her gaze shifted towards the blanket, brow furrowing. “You have a blanket in your car?”

“Yeah, it’s from…” you paused, debating whether it was worth telling the whole story, and decided you might as well. “I went on this star-gazing date thing with this girl who was super into astronomy a few weeks ago. The date kinda fizzled out, but the views were nice and the blanket was warm. I just forgot to take it out of my car.”

“Oh,” Jennie murmured, pausing for a second. Then, she reached for the blanket, taking it and drawing it over her shoulders. It was big enough that she could bundle herself within it, and you couldn’t help but smile as she took a moment to do just that, her hands pulling it tight around her.

It was…honestly, kind of cute, which was something you definitely didn’t expect to come from someone as cool and sophisticated as Jennie.

“It should be nice and warm,” you said, brightly. “It’s super thick.”

“Yeah, it’s fluffy,” Jennie murmured, almost to herself.

“I just figured you’d need it. I’m going to turn the engine off soon, so it’s going to be freezing in here.”

Jennie looked over at you. “Wait, do you have a blanket too?”

“I’ll be fine,” you said, with a shrug.

Jennie made a face. “Again, like I said, you’re too nice. This is your car, and your blanket, and you’re going to spend the whole night freezing here without it. Stop inconveniencing yourself just for others.”

You frowned. “It’s not an inconvenience, you just need it more than I do.”

“Your hair’s still wet.”

“You’re wearing spaghetti straps.”

“Fine, we’ll just share the blanket then,” Jennie declared with a huff, like it was no big deal. Before you could even react, she was already tossing the blanket onto the backseat. “Do you want me to turn the engine off now? It’s already been running for ages.”

You blinked, still thrown by this sudden news of blanket-sharing. “Uh…yeah, I guess?”

You watched her lean over and turn off the ignition, retrieving your keys easily. The car engine, once a comforting steady hum of background noise, fell silent, as did your heaters.

Now, there was a strange air of quiet as Jennie made her way through the gap to join you on the backseat – and how the hell did she manage to make the journey over the centre console look that smooth?

Settling herself down into the space next to you, she draped the blanket over the two of you, shifting closer ever so slightly when it proved not quite big enough to cover you both easily.

…You know, if you’d had to guess where this night would take you, snuggling up with Kim Jennie under a blanket wouldn’t exactly be your first thought.

You weren’t quite touching, but you could feel her warmth, the unmistakable sign of just how close she was, just almost within reach.

You cleared your throat, trying to collect your thoughts before they wandered into more dangerous territory. “So, I don’t think I’ve ever heard how you and Rosé became friends?”

The corner of Jennie’s lip turned upwards into a half-smile. She reached up to her artfully arranged hairdo, began to carefully remove the hairpins holding it together, and talked as she did so. “We went to high school together. I only joined halfway through the year, and my English still kind of sucked. She…took me under her wing, I guess.”

“That’s really sweet.”

“Yeah. She’s always been great with things like that. With people,” Jennie said, before looking down at the blanket, and she shrugged one shoulder. “And I’ve just always been the bitch.”

You jerked upwards a little, affronted on her behalf. “I’ve never thought you were a bitch, Jennie.”

She removed another hairpin, and made a thoroughly unconvinced noise. “Pfft.”

“I haven’t!”

“Yeah, well…” she paused, eyeing you for a moment. “There’s not exactly many of you.”

“Well, screw what everyone else thinks,” you said, unable to stop yourself from raising your voice just a little. “They didn’t see you at Pride.”

“Pride?”

“Yeah,” you said. You remembered it clearly, even now, two years later. It was Rosé’s first time going to Pride after coming out, and she was so nervous. And then Jennie had turned up, sunglasses on and stone-faced - with a little Etsy-sourced handmade ally flag pin on the lapel of her Chanel jacket, and waving a pocket-sized rainbow flag in solidarity. “That’s always what I think about when I think of you. How good of a friend you were to Rosé that day.”

Jennie blinked at you, her face completely slack with surprise. You felt your stomach drop just a little, and you couldn’t tell if you’d said something wrong, or if maybe you’d said something perfectly right.

After a long moment, Jennie turned away, frowning. “…You really are too nice.”

You sighed, leaning back against the seat. On a whim, you shuffle just the tiniest bit closer, just so you can properly envelop yourself within this blanket. “I’m really not. I shouldn’t be, anyway.”

Jennie didn’t reply to that. Instead, she looked up at the roof of the car, and you pretended that you didn’t notice the brief second she bit her lip in thought. “So, I’ve never really asked, but…are you and Rosé a thing?”

You were caught off-guard by this question, but not by much. This wasn’t the first time you’d been asked something along these lines, and you were sure it wouldn’t be the last. “Nope. Just friends.”

“OK. And are you going to stay just friends?”

“Yeah, that’s the plan,” you remarked.

“It’s just…I figured that since you both like girls, and you’re really close…”

Jenny might have trailed off, but you could catch the gist of the sentence pretty easily – and you were determined to give a definitive answer to such an open-ended question. “

“No. She’s great, I love her but…you know, you don’t have to be into someone to love them. It’s like your dude friends, right? They like girls but that doesn’t mean they want to bang?”

Jennie’s expression faltered, and for a brief moment, you caught a flicker of emotion in her eye. “I wish.”

Those words were edged with something, and you realised you might have stumbled onto something a little too personal.

“Have you ever had a girlfriend?” Jennie asked, and you were so startled by the sudden question that for a moment, you forgot all about that fairly obvious change in subject.

“…Yeah. Not many,” you admitted, but you weren’t particularly filled with guilt or shame or anything like that. Just a vague sense of embarrassment for your younger self, but that was pretty standard. “I’m always busy with school and stuff.”

With what was apparently the final hairpin removed, Jennie made quick work of the hair tie keeping her hair in such a perfect bun. Her hair – long, black, smooth, shiny – fell around her face, framing her perfectly. “What’s it like?”

“Um. Nice? I haven’t really dated-dated dudes, but I found that girls usually understood me a little more. The ones I’ve dated anyway. They could pick up all my little emotional tells. Intense, maybe. You can get very attached very quickly.”

“Hmm.”

“Why do you ask?”

“No reason,” Jennie said. She opened her mouth like she was going to say more, closed it quickly, but there was a lingering thoughtfulness in her eyes. Like she was thinking very hard about something.

“What is it?”

“…I think…uh, well, it’s something I’ve…” Jennie sighed, frustrated at her uncharacteristic stumble with words, and tried to simplify it. “Girls are pretty.”

“They are.”

“And…some of them are more than that.”

“Yeah, quite a few.”

“Some of them are…” Jennie trailed off, looking at you. “You know, some are…”

You waited for her to finish her sentence.

She didn’t.

Instead, she leaned forward suddenly, and kissed you square on the mouth.

You barely had time to think, frozen, and she withdrew almost immediately.

“Oh, God,” she lamented, burying her face in her hands. “I’m so sorry.”

You couldn’t even respond, wordless from shock.

Jennie kissed you?

Jennie kissed you.

Jennie – like, Jennie – kissed you.

…Huh.

“You don’t have to apologise,” you said, words slowly coming back to you. “It’s fine.”

She made a face – or, you thought she did, it was hard to tell through her hands – and muttered back. “No, I…I didn’t even ask, at the very fucking least, let alone…ugh.”

She sharply turned away, curling in on herself. Even from this angle, with her back to you, you could tell she was hoping for the ground would swallow her whole.

And still, from the glimpse of her cheek in profile, you thought you could see a blush.

You swallowed, looking down at your hands, trying to seem cool and composed as you shrugged. “You can ask now, if you want.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Jennie still. She turned, slowly, fixing you with the wariest of looks. “…What?”

You glanced over to her, trying your best to stay calm despite the way your heart was starting to pound, and repeated. “You can ask now if you want.”

Jennie stared at you for a moment, silent.

And then…

“Can I…” she paused, the pink of her cheeks darkening even more, but she managed to stay strong. “Can I kiss you?”

You swallowed. “Yeah. Yes. Yes, you can.”

She leaned forward – and paused, just for a moment. The briefest moment in which to double-check one’s actions, to decide just what exactly one should do, and to change course if needed. Jennie paused for all that time, and still chose to follow through and kiss you again.

This time, you were ready. You met her halfway, one hand lifting up to cradle Jennie’s face. The kiss was sweet, tender, and when you pulled away to breathe, she chased after you tenaciously to reconnect.

Her lips were soft, full, and you couldn’t help but want to run your tongue along the bottom lip, just a little.

Not yet. Let her adjust, let her get used to….

You felt her hand find your waist under the blanket, and you shivered at the feeling of her fingertips just brushing the sensitive skin below the waistband of your sweatpants.

Taking that as an encouragement to start exploring, you let your hand wander from her cheek to her jaw, to the softness of her hair. You let the little strands wind around your fingers, combing through it, and you murmured against her lips. “Fuck, you’re so pretty, Jennie.”

Jennie didn’t respond in words, but instead by pressing her lips to the soft skin under your jaw. You closed your eyes, letting your head fall back against the seat, and your breath left you shakily.

Her other hand found your thigh, pressing down slightly as she used it to support her own weight, to move even closer.

You were sat there, back pressed against the seat, legs parted, Jennie’s mouth on your neck, wishing for her to take notice and climb onto your lap, maybe slide that hand upwards underneath your shirt, maybe–

And then it hit you.

You stilled, muscles tensing, and you tried to pull away. “Jennie…”

She made the softest whine, protesting, and you had to very purposefully grip her by the shoulder and gently but firmly push her away before she realised just how serious you were being.

“Jennie,” you breathed, voice still uneven. You tried to stay firm, even in the face of her newly mussed hair, in the pink of her cheeks and the parting of her lips as she drew much-needed breath. “Jennie, you’re…you were upset tonight. I don’t want to–”

“No, I wasn’t,” Jennie argued, her gaze dropping to your lips.

You swallowed. “You were. Maybe this isn’t the best idea right now.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t…I don’t want to take advantage, if you’re feeling–”

“You’re not.”

“Jenn–”

“You’re not,” she repeated, insistent, and there was an unmistakable edge to her tone. Frustration, maybe? Anger? “Because I’m not upset, I…”

She paused, sighing bitterly, glancing upwards as she debated something.

“…Look, you want to know what happened tonight?” Jennie said, finally, jaw set with a determination to prove you wrong. “One of my guy friends asked me out. I turned him down, the fucking nicest way I could, and he still made a huge scene over it. My ex was there, they got into a whole thing, and I didn’t want to be there anymore to witness their dick-measuring contest. That’s it.”

She took a deep breath, as you tried to absorb her words, tried to wrap your head around this information, and continued with a new vulnerability in her voice.

“It didn’t upset me. It…it embarrassed me, sure. It fucking pissed me off, definitely. But it didn’t upset me. You’re not taking advantage just because I was in a bad mood. Was, because then we started talking, and…”

She glanced away, not quite brave enough to finish that sentence, but you could fill in the gaps yourself. Something – some warm feeling – bloomed in your chest.

“So, if you don’t want to, that’s fine,” Jennie finished, squaring her shoulders, keeping her head held high as she stared you down directly. “But don’t pin it on me. I know what I want.”

You held her gaze for a moment, saying nothing.

And then, silently, you rested your hand on the curve of her hip, and watched the way her chest swelled with a surprised intake of breath.

“And what do you want?” You asked, voice very purposefully light, even as your thumb began to trace circles into the thin fabric of her dress.

Exhaling, slowly, Jennie let herself relax into your touch. “…More of that.”

“Yeah? What else?”

“You to kiss me,” Jennie said, bold, defiant.

You smiled, blinking innocently. “Kiss you where?”

The memory of her reaction – the way her face flushed, the way she almost choked on her own breath, the swallow that made her throat bob – would burn itself into your mind, never to be forgotten.

This time, it was you who initiated the kiss. You let your tongue run over her bottom lip, just as you’d wanted, before turning your attention elsewhere – the pink of her cheeks, the long column of her neck, the collarbone you’d been trying your best not to stare at the moment she got into your car.

You looped an arm around her waist and gently, carefully, pulled her onto your lap – not quite all the way, just enough for your thigh to slot itself comfortably between her legs.

“This is such a nice dress, Jennie,” you noted, running one hand up her side, from hip to waist to just brushing the side of her chest before coming up to her shoulder. Carefully, you hooked your index finger under the thin strap of her dress, letting it fall just off the shoulder.

You pressed a kiss to where it had once been, then a little lower. Then, a little lower again. And again. Slowly, carefully, giving her plenty of time to stop you if she wanted. She didn’t, and when your mouth finally found its way to her breast, she let out the quietest little sigh.

It was becoming very obvious that Jennie wasn’t wearing a bra. You’d thought maybe she could have been wearing a strapless one, but no, it was becoming increasingly clear through the thin material that she absolutely was not. When your lips closed around her nipple through the fabric, Jennie’s hand found itself curling around the back of your head, and she let herself…press against your thigh.

That could be fun, you thought idly, getting distracted by Jennie’s first whimper when you let your teeth scrape against her. It could be fun to let Jennie ride your thigh.

Except there was something in you that wanted something a little more…hands-on. Maybe, just maybe, deep down, you’d admit that you wanted to show off a little.

So, you pulled away from her breast to press your lips to hers once more, bringing your left hand up to cradle her jaw.

And with your right, you let it slide under her tangle of dress skirts, and gently rested it on her bare knee.

“Is this OK?” You asked, pressing a little peck to the corner of her mouth.

“Only if it doesn’t stay there,” Jennie mumbled, tilting your head with her own hands to resume kissing.

Just as she wished, you very slowly slid your hand up her leg, along the soft and sensitive skin of her inner thigh. Jennie rolled her hips against your thigh, just once, impatient, but you didn’t rush yourself. This was half the fun, letting the anticipation build.

A fucking rush of satisfaction filled you when you felt just how wet Jennie had gotten for you. What an ego-boost it was, to run your fingers over where she and your thigh connected, to feel the damp lace against your fingertips, to hear Jennie breathily accuse you of teasing.

With another kiss, this time open-mouthed and against her neck, you pushed her underwear to one side and found her clit with the pad of your thumb. You rubbed circles into it, slowly, just to test what she might like.

Jennie moaned, loudly, her head falling forward. Her mouth was so close to your ear, allowing you to hear every single little catch in her breathing, every choked noise, everything, as you began to learn her body. She was sensitive, she liked it slow, and she especially liked when you murmured her name. You learned how to tell when she wanted something, when something was too much, how the muscles of her thighs tensed and clamped down at just the right balance of almost ‘too much’.

Your free hand drifted to the curve of her ass, squeezing slightly as you gently lifted her up – giving you just enough space to slip your middle finger inside of her.

“Fuck, Jennie,” you breathed, as she groaned and rocked backwards onto your hand. Before long, you could add your ring finger – and with the smallest repositioning of your hand, you made sure that with every motion, your thumb would drag across her most sensitive spot, and you felt the breath that punched its way out of her chest when she first discovered this.

You could make her come like this. And what’s more, you realised, you could make her come like this easily.

But there was something else that tempted you, an image that refused to leave your mind.

Why not leave it up to Jennie?

“You want me to keep doing this?” You asked, breathless, pausing to kiss the underside of her jaw. “Or do you want my mouth? It’s up to you, baby.”

The endearment slipped its way out of your mouth before you could stop it, but Jennie didn’t seem to mind. You watched her struggle with the decision, eyes dark and dazed with lust, biting her lip.

“Are you…” Jennie began, before pausing to let out another choked moan, eyes squeezing shut for a second, “…good?”

There was no way to answer that question without sounding like you were bragging, so you settled for a semi-sheepish grin. “Haven’t had any complaints.”

Jennie exhaled shakily, and nodded. “OK. Mouth, then.”

Carefully, you moved Jennie off of your lap, laying her down on her back across the backseat. You couldn’t deny that your new position, kneeling between her legs, one of your feet jammed in one footwell, the other leg awkwardly pressed against the edge of the seat, was cramped – but it was so, so worth the noises that forced their way out of Jennie’s mouth when your tongue brushed against her clit.

Fuck, it was so worth it. It was worth all the confined space and awkward manoeuvring that sex in a car provided, it was worth the hour-long journey, it was worth getting stuck in the mud and the inevitable wait for a tow truck and the freezing cold of the night, because all of it brought you Kim Jennie grinding up against your tongue, close to sobbing as she finally unravelled, coming with a sharp cry and thighs clamping down around your head.

You let her ride it out, watching her shake as she came down from the high, hooking your arm around her thigh as you turned your head to press a kiss to the soft skin there.

It took a few minutes, the car perfectly silent except for the heavy breathing coming from both of you, almost in unison, and the heartbeat pounding in your ears.

Until, finally, Jennie managed to push herself up to a seated position, chest still visibly rising and falling with every breath. She took in the sight of you, letting her head loll to one side against the headrest, and she gave you one of her little half-smiles.

“I never thanked you for driving all the way out here, did I?”

“No,” you replied, slowly, trying to keep yourself from smiling back.

Jennie reached out, offering her hand to you.

“Then, get up here and show me how to.”

[zer0pm]

Imagine the reason why you failed to meet up with Leon and Ashley was because Luis kept leading you both into trouble.

You should have left this man in the sack.

You knew the moment he opened his mouth that you should have slapped the tape back on and turned around. Because he looked like trouble, more trouble than he was worth. And so far for however long you’ve been stuck with him, he hasn’t proven you wrong. Luis Serra is unequivocally the most insufferable man you have ever met.

“Remind me again how we got ourselves in this situation,” you huffed, the weight of your back pressed firmly against the door. The Spaniard is beside you, also using his weight to help keep the door closed. More accurately, to keep the monsters outside from forcing their way in and tearing you two to pieces. You can practically feel the wood splintering under each aggressive push and you both were struggling to keep hold.

The man’s face contorts to a slight wince, grey eyes cast down to the ground in mild guilt. “You know, my friend, everything happened so quickly. To recall every causal detail would be-”

“It was a rhetorical question!” you snap at him with an exasperated glare, your patience completely run thin. A violent jolt of the door nearly splits the wood off its hinges, raising the tension. “We can’t stay here forever, we got to do something.”

“De acuerdo.” Luis nods, quickly scanning the room for an exit. The dimly lit space was enclosed with no other obvious doors leading to another area but his eyes fall upon a tall wardrobe that looked hardly big enough for two people. He makes eye contact with you with a telling glint in his gaze and you immediately catch onto his plan. An unenthusiastic groan reverberates from your throat before you throw him a committed nod.

He adjusts his stance and waits for you to follow suit while you both were still supporting the door on its weakening frame. “On my count… ¡Uno-!”

Your whole body surges forward as you’re suddenly ripped away from the door by a strong hand around your wrist and practically dragged to the wardrobe. Luis pulls you into a tight embrace before hurriedly backing you both inside the enclosed space, using his free hand to seal the opening behind you shut.

You were about to yell at him asking what the hell happened to “two” and “three” but thought better of it at the terrifying sound of wood thunderously breaking from outside.

Booming footsteps stomp by your hiding spot and ominous mutterings in Luis’ native tongue fills the room. Judging by the varying noises, you deduce that there were at least a handful of plaga hunting you. To take them on in such tight quarters would be suicide so the best that either of you can hope for is that they eventually leave with the impression that you and Luis miraculously disappeared into another part of this godforsaken castle.

As you wait anxiously for your pursuers to give up their search here, you finally realize your close proximity to Luis. The space within the wardrobe was so tight, every inch of the front of your body pressed his. His spicy musk fills your nostrils, making you go dizzy. His breath fans against your lips and you subconsciously breathe it in, tasting his air upon your tongue. His body heat wraps around you with a warmth so inviting that you felt yourself tempted to lean into him. Being so close to this man was dangerous, he is standing still and yet already he’s overwhelming your senses effortlessly, ensnaring you in a mesmeric daze.

Luis feels you shudder and instinctively snakes the hand that was on your back to your shoulder, squeezing gently in a considerate attempt to ease your tensions. The comforting gesture makes you relax and you unwittingly fall into his hold. In the darkness, your noses bump. You immediately feel the muscles of his body stiffen, realization also clicking in his mind of your shared closeness.

For what felt like an eternity, neither of you moved. The sudden stillness causes your heart to pound in your chest harder than the looming dangers just a few feet away, survival becoming a mere afterthought and discarded in the back of your mind. Then finally, as if you are in a trance, you make the first move.

Your hands on his shoulders glide to his thick neck, thumbs curiously caress along the quickening pulse throbbing beneath the skin. The Adam’s apple in his throat bobs heavily under your soft touch. His warm breathing falls shallow, mingling with yours and turning the air between you two hot, thick, and heavy. You wished then that you can see his eyes, know what he was thinking. But the darkness obscured your vision and it was imperative that you two remained quiet while enemies lingered nearby, so every mood and intent that you can possibly think of can only be speculated by physical cues. But there were none. Aside from the hand on your shoulder, Luis remains completely stagnant.

Another expectant moment and still he does nothing. Disappointment slowly creeps into your heart and you began to remove your hands from his neck. The sound of rough scratching along the floorboard makes you twist your head in attention.

And that is when you felt it. The unmistakable softness of lips pressed upon the lobe of your ear. If you didn’t turn your head to the side-

Shivers tingle down your spine, sparks set off across your entire body. A sharp intake of breath escapes you and you thought for certain that you have forsaken you both. However, the steps and voices outside the wardrobe have receded, followed by the familiar scratching on the ground. Then all fell into silence.

Is it safe?

“Hueles bien,” his husky voice whispers absentmindedly, but you didn’t catch it over the sound of your blood pumping.

You whisper back, “What?”

Luis stutters, “I-I said that I think we’re good now.”

You’re fairly certain he wasn’t being truthful but didn’t press the matter. As carefully as you could, you place your hand behind you against the wardrobe opening, pushing slightly to peak outside, grateful that it did not creak. You don’t see anything in your immediate field of vision and no suspicious shuffling can be heard. Deciding to press your luck, you open the door further and was met with relief to find that the plaga are completely gone from the room. You leave the tight space first and newfound anxiety washes over you when you turn to meet Luis who also steps out of the wardrobe and is now meeting your eyes.

A lit torch that hung on the stone wall beside you illuminated his handsome face, giving his skin a nice warm glow. But his expression was neither warm or cold. In fact, it was unreadable, just like his eyes right now which are focused solely on you. The memory of his lips on your skin comes back burning to the forefront of your mind and you couldn’t help but reach up to touch the spot with your fingertips. His grey eyes follow your movements, lingering on the spot, and they seemed to glint anew under the flame’s light. The cracks in his stony expression giving way to emotions that you recognized immediately. They were familiar to you, because you wore them as well.

Anticipation and desire.

They still ran through you now and pumped your burning hearts with deep want. But again, you both do nothing. Simply locked in a perpetual state of longing.

Luis clears his throat, effectively breaking the spell. “I should, uh-”

“-check if the coast is clear.” you finish for him.

He nods, “Sí, sí.” And with that, he steps away from you, almost regretfully so, striding over to the shattered doorframe and ducking his head out in search of any further potential dangers. As soon as his back was turned, you sigh out all of the tension that you were holding inside your lungs.

A million thoughts ran in your head and they are all about Luis. Yes, the Spaniard had a way of getting on your nerves. The man was practically an expert in raising your blood pressure. But at the same time, there was no denying that you are helplessly charmed by him. And from how Luis was acting just now, it seems you affect him the same way as if you both are drawn to each other like magnets. This growing attraction makes things very complicated. And now is not the time for complications. You have to reunite with Leon Kennedy and Ashley Graham.

Mentally, you slap yourself back to focus on the task at hand. While Luis was still keeping a lookout, you took the time to observe your surroundings and notice scratches along the floor. Your eyes follow the marks all the way to the stone wall across from you. Driven by curiosity, you approach the wall and feel alongside the cracks, catching a distinctive line that runs around, making a large shape. In the middle of the shape is the torch that serves as the only source of light in the room, burning brightly in its sconce. The holder hangs awkwardly on the stone, angled in a way as if it has been disturbed. Your eyes flash wide in understanding. So this is where your infected hunters disappeared to. Ingenius. You wondered if they were still on the other side searching for you and Luis but decided not to even entertain the idea by touching the torch. Luis’ voice pulls you out of your thoughts.

“Okay, no plaga around. We’re good to go,” he says assuringly, returning to your side. “It’s dark out there, though. So we’re going to need a light.”

His grey eyes follow your gaze and perk up at the sight of the torch. “Esto. This will do nicely,” his hand reaches for it.

Alarms go off in your head. “No, wait-!”

But it was too late. The moment he grabbed the sconce with one hand in order to pull the torch out of it with the other, the support shifts under his weight and somewhere within the wall, foreboding clicks of a mechanism triggering fills the air.

Oh no.

The wall gives way. You and the dark-haired man quickly jump away from it and behind the space it once occupied, more torches came into view, illuminating the darkness- all held by a pack of familiar infected cultists. All who now had eyes dead set on you both. For the umpteenth time in this room, palpable tensions run high. And once again, your companion tries to breaks it.

“Uh, hehe. Hola, mis amigos,” Luis greets nervously, donning a charming yet shaky grin before pretending to look around in bewildered embarrassment. “¡Esto no es el baño!”

You didn’t even have time to reproach him, flight instinct immediately kicking in. “Run!” you yell and the two of you sprint out of the room through the broken exit, murderous growls and vehement shouts trailing close behind.

Running frantically through a series of corridors, dodging hatchets and crossbow bolts, the both of you shove through a set of double doors and found yourselves in what looks to be the remains of a grand ballroom. Luis throws the torch down one of the large holes on the floor and ducks inside an inconspicuous pile of rubble with an evidently spacious interior, dragging you down along with him. Sweat poured down your faces as you sat in the small space in fearful anticipation. Your relentless hunters enter the ballroom, running past the both of you and lingering around in pursuit. There were small openings in the rubble that allowed you to observe their movements with bated breaths. Thankfully after a few minutes, they were all far away.

You whisper to Luis, “We’re going to need some help.”

Wholeheartedly agreeing with your statement, the man grabs the communication device from his person and presses a series of buttons. He muffles the rings from the comm in his hands and after a few seconds, the other line picks up.

“Luis, where are you two?” It was Leon’s voice that came through the static, his face lit up on the small screen. He did not seem happy. Makes sense as you were supposed to meet him and Ashley with their suppressants ages ago.

“Sorry,” Luis frowns. “We, uh, we screwed up-”

“We?!” you hiss under your breath.

“Come to our rescue, Prince Charming.”

“Give me that!” you snap at him through gritted teeth, ripping the comm from the Spaniard’s hand. “Leon, we’re trapped in the ballroom past the courtyard. Place is crawling with monsters.”

Upon seeing the genuine distress on your face, Leon’s expression changed to that of determination, “Standby. We’re heading your way now.”

“Don’t be late to the dance.” Luis chimes in, leaning over your shoulder to look at the blonde in the comm.

You narrowly catch the annoyed glare in Leon’s eyes before the man pressed to your side ends the call with a push of a button. Too exhausted to express your frustration for his behavior, you opted to make yourself comfortable in the new hiding spot. It was hardly better than the wardrobe as you were forced to be seated, but at least you weren’t packed against each other like sardines, touching only by the shoulders this time around. And you were able to move your arms and legs freely too.

Still, you found yourself missing Luis’ enveloping warmth, missing his protective arm around your body, missing his soft lips upon your skin. You felt the temperature in your cheeks rise again.

“This one is on me,” you hear him say lowly, his tone apologetic.

You shake your head, willing your desire in check in favor of attempting to alleviate his guilt, “At least this spot is a little more spacious.”

The man hums thoughtfully. “Sí. Pero… I’ll be honest, my friend,” he muses aloud, “I preferred the wardrobe.”

You turn your head towards him when he said this. He didn’t meet your curious gaze, seemingly intent on keeping watch for the plaga through the openings of your shared hiding place. It gave you a moment to look him over, attentive eyes wandering from the thick locks of his dark hair, to the butterfly lashes of his eyes, to the attractive shape of his nose and cheekbones until they stopped at his thick neck and broad jawline. The sight brings you back to when you touched him, your hands itching to reach up to him again but your seated position didn’t allow you to do so. Instead, you brush the back of your hand against his. He reflexively twitches upon your subtle caress. Luis still isn’t looking at you, but you can hear his breath hitch. These are the signs you were looking for.

“Well, as long as we’re both being honest,” you sigh, putting your head on his shoulder, secretly relishing in your closeness to him. “Me too.”

For a moment, you thought he would say and do nothing again. But then his hand lifts to intertwine his fingers with yours, clasping your palms together. A new kind of warmth washes over you as the pad of his thumb softly strokes across your skin. Another hand grasps your chin gently, guiding you to look up at him.

You expected anticipation and desire to return to his eyes, but something much deeper, much fiercer, and much more intimate burns within those magnetic grey irises. His head dips down towards you, your noses bumping into one another again, and his mouth lingers over yours. This time, you won’t turn away.

“¿Es cierto?” His low voice is barely above a whisper, dripping huskily with tender yearning.

Luis Serra is trouble. He makes things complicated. But right now as you two close the distance between your wanting lips- complications be damned.

[ask-turnedtechgodhead]

this thing on

fuck yes aight check this shit out-

DAVE, I'VE BEGRUDGINGLY COME TO UNDERSTAND THAT STANDING IN A CORNER ALONE SPEWING THE TYPE OF NONSENSICAL BABBLE ONE MIGHT EXPECT FROM A WRIGGLER IS WHAT PASSES FOR ENTERTAINMENT IN YOUR EMPTY THINK PAN.

I'VE EVEN BEGUN TO APPRECIATE IT, IF ONLY BECAUSE WE NEEDED *SOMETHING* TO FILL THE AGONISINGLY LONG SWEEP WE WERE STUCK ON THAT OTHERWISE SILENT AND YET SOMEHOW JUST AS MISERABLE FUCKING ROCK HURTLING THROUGH SPACE TOWARDS CERTAIN DEATH. BUT WHAT IN THE EVER-LOVING SHIT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING WITH THAT BULBOUS FUCKING OVERGROWTH JAMMED AGAINST YOUR RIDICULOUS EYEWEAR?

damn man i thought we covered this in our human tech 101 lessons. its a camera- I KNOW ITS A CAMERA. I WAS TRYING TO LOWER MYSELF TO YOUR LEVEL SO THAT MAYBE YOU WOULD DECIDE TO GRACE ME WITH YOUR ATTENTION AND ACTUALLY LISTEN TO WHAT I HAD TO SAY. try harder SHUT UP. AND ANSWER THE QUESTION. how the hell am i supposed to answer the question if im shutting up? cant have it both ways bro. cant just have your cake and eat it too you either eat that bitch or shut your mouth forever and starve to death- HOLY SHIT WE BOTH KNOW YOU AREN'T GOING TO SHUT UP EITHER WAY. COULD YOU AT LEAST DO ME THE MERCY OF TELLING ME WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE DOING BEFORE I DROWN IN THE PUTRID STREAM OF BULLSHIT CASCADING OUT OF YOUR MOUTH?

documentary CARE TO EXPAND UPON THAT? OR AM I NOT WORTHY ENOUGH TO GET MORE THAN ONE WORD OUT OF YOU? SHOULD I BE PROSTRATING BEFORE YOU THANKING YOU FOR DEIGNING TO GRACE ME WITH ONE WORD FROM YOUR TIGHT ASS LIPS? 'DOCUMENTARY'. TRULY A HOLY WORD. RELIGIONS WILL FORM AROUND THIS ONE WORD, DAVE. HOLY BOOKS WILL BE WRITTEN ABOUT THOSE ELEVEN LETTERS. TODAY WILL BE CELEBRATED NOT AS THE DAY WE CREATED A NEW UNIVERSE, NO- TODAY WILL BE FOREVER MARKED AS THE DAY DAVE FUCKING STRIDER SAID 'DOCUMENTARY'-

AND GET THAT FUCKING THING OUT OF MY FACE YOU NOOKWHIFFER

holy shit check it out im being censored already

karkat do you support censorship

is this what this is karkat

is this where we find out that this entire session has been your master plan to create a new world for you to go stalin on its ass

because dude im so down to create some propaganda for supreme leader vantases glorious reign

just let me finish this shit first cmon man

HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO AGREE TO THAT WHEN I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT 'THIS SHIT' IS?

i told you man

IF YOU SAY DOCUMENTARY I SWEAR-

documentary

about the creation of the new universe

no big deal or nothing just thought it could be mildly interesting to get on camera

idk ill probably tape over it later for some shitty sitcom rerun

do you think theyll have the simpsons on the new planet

god i hope they do

AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT THE FUCK THAT IS.

troll the simpsons

YOU CAN'T JUST PUT 'TROLL' IN FRONT OF SOME PANDEAD EARTH THING AND EXPECT ME TO KNOW WHAT IT IS AND HONESTLY, I'M DOWNRIGHT FUCKING INSULTED THAT YOU'D THINK THAT ALTERNIA HAD ANYTHING EVEN REMOTELY COMPARABLE TO YOUR EYEGOUGING EXCUSES FOR 'MEDIA'. MY PLANET ACTUALLY HAD STANDARDS, UNLIKE YOUR MISERABLE PILE OF DIRT.

says the guy that was responsible for that pile of dirt

and didnt even record its creation

imagine being an absent father to a whole universe karkat. what the fuck man

thank god im here to break the cycle of abuse

OH, I'M SORRY I COULDN'T RECORD YOUR WASTE OF SPACE PLANET BEING CREATED - I WAS TOO BUSY NEARLY GETTING MURDERED BY THE MURDERBEAST *YOU*-

oh shit idiot shuts up now

thats you youre the idiot

STRIDER I SWEAR TO FUCK

dude seriously shut up

hes doing it man

hes making it hapen

=>

[lokisprettygirl]

Brokenhearted (Daemon Targaryen x Female Reader) (Non Canon Modern AU) (18+)

Read Chapter 17 here // Series Masterlist

Chapter 18

Summary : Your reaction to Daemon's truth surprises him.

Warning: 18+, Smut, degradation kink, violent thoughts, stalking, Abusive relationship, mention of rape, kidnapping, ptsd, toxic masculinity, gender norms, sexual abuse, Samantha, traumatic distressing content, Daemon is a big time smoker so if it’s something triggering don’t read it, alcohol drinking, mention of past trauma and therapy, cigarette smoking, possessive behaviour, violence, baby needs therapy, baby is trying

You stood in the silence of your surroundings, unable to fully comprehend Samantha's sobs echoing through the room. She was helplessly bound to the bed, her once elegant appearance was now covered in filth. You asked yourself what he was doing to her and why he would do this now, your mind spinning with questions and desperately seeking the answers at the same time.

"Daemon you fucking idiot" Viserys finally summoned the courage to speak, rubbing his face with his hands in frustration and worry.

Daemon had his eyes on you and you had your eyes on him but he couldn't read the look on your face. What were you thinking? Your thoughts and feelings were a mystery to him. Were you feeling disgusted by his behavior? He knew it was a valid option. And why wouldn't you be, he thought.

"Get me out of here Viserys..get me out" Samantha screamed so Viserys walked towards Daemon and glared at him,

"Would you shut her up for love of god?"

Daemon snapped out of his thoughts as he heard Viserys's voice and grabbed the duct tape to wrap it around her mouth over and over again. You just stood there and watched, neither you or Viserys had any clue why Daemon was keeping her here so both of you had that fear in your hearts that he had finally lost his grip on the situation after everything she had put him through.

Viserys noticed the feared look on your face so he helped you walk into the other room and made you sit down on the bed, this was a bit much for you if you were being honest with yourself, you had never experienced anything like this before.

"What's going on Viserys, what is he doing …why??" Your voice choked on your tears as you spoke so he sighed deeply.

"I don't know but I need to deal with it before he finds himself in prison"

Viserys went back to Daemon's room and grabbed him by the arm to drag him out of there so he could find some answers.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? Why are you trying to ruin everything again?" Daemon's eyes teared up as his brother's voice reached his ears, he was making a habit of disappointing his older brother but when Viserys asked why he was treating Samantha in such a cruel manner, Daemon's response left him speechless. It was as if Viserys finally understood the reasons behind his actions, but he was still shocked and stunned. He was worried about what would happen if Samantha would escape somehow.

Half an hour later as Daemon entered the other room to see you he was terrified, he didn't want to lose you, he felt a wave of dread wash over him at sight of you. The thought of losing your love was something he couldn't bear to even consider. After experiencing the depth of your affection for him, he didn't believe he could ever live without it.

He walked towards you and got down on his knees in front of you, his eyes were soaked with tears and red with anger, he didn't want you to ever see this, he didn't want to traumatize you so brutally.

"You lied to me" you spoke first, voice breaking from the anxiety.

"I hid the truth" he answered, it didn't really make anything better.

"No you lied to me again and again..you have always been so honest with me and now you have lied"

You were upset, he could tell and it was all valid, he deserved that but it still bothered him, it hurt him deeply that he had made you feel this way. He placed his head down on your thighs and started to sob furiously as his actions weighed upon him..

"Why are you doing this baby?" You asked softly as you held his cheek with your right hand to make him look at you. For a moment he didn't say a word, he allowed you to hold him so tenderly before you'd finally decide to just leave him for your own good.

"I had to" he mumbled meekly

"Why baby? Give me a reason, tell me why you had to do this hmm?" His eyes perked up at the sound of your voice, you didn't seem upset with him anymore, you didn't even get angry, you didn't yell at him or hurt him for lying, you just wanted to know the truth.

"You can hurt me if you're upset, you don't have to hide it darling" he said to you as he placed your hand on his cheek, breaking your heart in millions pieces. He was accustomed to Samantha lashing out at him after every argument, it's been eight years since he had freed himself from her but those wounds remained open.

"I'm upset that you lied to me about something that could ruin your life but I'm not going to hurt you, is that what you expect of me now?" He shook his head as you questioned him, eyes couldn't stop shedding tears.

"I'm sorry..I'm sorry I'm so sorry darling" he wrapped his arms around your waist and clutched onto you like a child as he cried his heart out, pouring out emotions that he hadn't been able to express in a while, it has all been building up since the day of your accident..

"Daemon listen to me" you pulled him away from you and made him look you in the eyes again "I just need to know why now okay? Why did you do this now, all these years she had hurt you more than anyone should ever get hurt but you didn't fight back so why now? What changed? What did she do?" You asked him a bit sternly but he didn't say a word, he just kept staring you in the eyes, his own seemed vacant but at the same time you could see all the suffering in there.

"Because this is just who I am, I'm not a good man my sweet angel" he spoke softly but his voice lacked emotions.

"No that's not true, you know that's not true. I'm not saying that this is right because there are other ways to punish her for what she did to you but I'm also not saying that she didn't deserve this because she does...all I want you to know is that i don't care why you are doing this but you can't lie to me like this dae, even if you murder her someday i'd like to be the first one to know" you said to him, leaving him confused and surprised by your words.

"Why? Why would you want me to involve you in my delinquencies?"

"So i could help you hide her body"

He stood up on his feet as you said that, his hand ran through his hair in frustration. He thought you'd be disgusted by his nature but you wanted to stick by his side instead.

"See this what I'm doing to you .I'm ruining you, I'm destroying you, making you an awful person like me" his voice shook as he spoke so you grabbed his hand and helped yourself up by holding onto him.

"I don't care what you think daemon…baby look at me" you clutched onto his shirt so he looked down at you "I love you and i would never ever give up on you..tell me what it is, why you are doing this now hmm? Did she hurt you again?" Your eyes welled up with fresh tears as you questioned him, the thought of Samantha hurting him all over again made you feel defeated. You weren't there for him, you had allowed him to go back to that monster when you knew he'd have been convinced otherwise if you were persuasive enough.

He shook his head as he wiped his tears, he wrapped his arms around your waist and leaned down so he could put his head on your shoulder, then he just cried for what felt like hours and you embraced him as tightly as you could. He finally decided to tell you the truth and you weren't expecting it to be the reason why he was torturing her now.

"She had tried to kill you"

Every hair on your neck stood up as he said that, you didn't want him to repeat his words like a moron for you to put the two and two together. As soon as he said that you knew what he meant, she was the reason behind your accident. Of Course she was, she despised you and she needed you out of the way for good because she knew Daemon wouldn't stop running back to you.

You pulled away from him to look at his face, he wasn't doing this for himself, he was doing this for you, he never fought back for himself, that one time he put his hands on her was because he had lost someone and now he was doing this for you, he was hurting her because she had harmed you.

"Oh Daemon" your voice shook with tears as you spoke his name, he couldn't stand the distance you had created so he immediately wrapped his arms around you again and placed his head between your neck to hug you as tightly but as carefully as he could.

"I'm sorry..I'm sorry darling"

"Shhhhhh no baby I'm sorry..I'm sorry"

He cried, you cried and it felt as if time had stopped moving in that moment for both of you. You were safe in his arms and you, well, whatever anxiety you had been feeling from the past few days was fading slowly as you learned the reason why he has been so discreet with you.

"You'll be okay, I'll make sure we are okay i promise" you mumbled softly as your fingers ran in circles on his back.

"Don't leave me..i need you..all my life I need you here ..by my side"

"Not leaving i promise, I'd never ever leave you again even if you'd ask me to"

It was a promise and you wanted to keep it the rest of your life.

He was the one for you and he was it, he was your only one.

After an hour as you both stepped out of the room, Viserys was pacing back and forth in the living area with a look of deep worry and uncertainty on his face. He seemed to be lost in thought, trying to figure out how he was going to resolve the situation and what steps he needed to take next

"Viserys" you called out his name so he looked at you, you had your fingers linked so protectively with his brother and it made him smile, you really were his ride or die and he couldn't have been happier but his smile faded as he realized the severity of the situation.

"What are we going to do?" You questioned so he sighed and sat down on the couch, you could hear the sound of her muffled screams coming from his bedroom and it made you feel a bit disturbed.

"She needs to confess, that's the only way we can make a case against her.. and we can hope that she'd just not speak of this which I don't see why she won't" Viserys responded and his answer didn't ease your fears. Daemon helped you walk towards the couch and made you sit down so you could relax.

"Can you make tea for us please?" You asked Daemon so he nodded and kissed your forehead before he left for the kitchen. As soon as he was out of sight you turned to Viserys.

"I won't let him get punished for this, I know what he's doing is not right or ethical or legal but I--" you groaned as you remembered something "Can I ask you something personal?" You asked him and he was intrigued to say the least so he nodded "Daemon told me that you made her go away after he had put her in the hospital, how did you do that? She doesn't seem the type to just leave so easily"

He sighed as you questioned him and as you heard Viserys's explanation of how he got rid of Samantha eight years ago, you felt your heart break into a million pieces. You realized that Daemon wasn't the only one whose life had been ruined because of her actions - Viserys's life had also been decimated. It was also clear to you now that Viserys's love for his brother was beyond any measure - nobody loved daemon more than him.

"Does he know?" You asked him softly

"Noo.. and I'd appreciate it if you won't tell him that"

You nodded as he said that. After a moment of quiet he spoke again, there was a faint smile on his face

"I was ten when he was born, our father was never around so I became one for him, he was the sweetest boy as a child" he let out a small laughter as if he was reminiscing their childhood "Anytime me or mum looked at him he just had the biggest smile on his face, after she died I'd often wake up to him sleeping on the edge of my bed holding my hand..that was the last time i had seen my brother be himself" his smile faded as he said that and his expressions turned somber

"When he met her, she changed him slowly and so drastically that I couldn't even recognise my brother anymore whenever i looked at him but now when I see him with you..I see that boy that wasn't so afraid of feelings and showing affection to the people he loved" you gulped as he said that, you wished you could have comforted Viserys better than this but you didn't really know how.

"He's healing.. slowly.. but he is moving forward i promise.. someday you'll see the sweet boy you had raised again..i promise" you spoke to him so he smiled.

As you saw Daemon approaching you wiped your tears and acted as if you didn't have the sweet image of a teen daemon sleeping at the edge of the bed holding his brother's hand.

After a much needed discussion all of you decided that it's best to leave Samantha the way she was until there's a plan that would ensure Daemon's safety because you knew you won't survive losing him again.

"I want to see her once" you said to Daemon so he looked at you, worry and confusion was visible on his face but he didn't say a word or questioned your decision. As you entered his room you looked at him and nodded in assurance so he closed the door but he stayed right outside, even bound and helpless he was afraid she'd hurt you in some ways.

If not with her touch then definitely with her words.

You hobbled your way towards her and ripped the duct tape of her mouth because you needed her to talk to you.

"He has gone crazy but you are not ..are you? Let me goooo" she spoke first, you really wished you could have crossed your arms at the moment but you hoped the smirk on your face was enough to infuriate her further.

"He's not crazy, he's hurt ..why do you think I'd help you?' You chuckled as you answered her, was she really this delusional?

"Because you're not like him, you're y/n ..sweet angel y/n that he's so obsessed with. Wouldn't hurt a fly he said..that's true isn't it?" She said with such contempt in her voice,

"That is true..but why would I even want to hurt a fly? They're pretty innocent for most parts..you on the other hand ..you know you're not so innocent..his ways aren't exactly ethical but god knows you deserve this treatment more than anyone," you smiled and she struggled against her chains, she'd have tackled you if she was capable of doing so. You were about to turn around and leave, you couldn't bear the stink in the room anymore but then she started to laugh before she opened her cruel mouth again.

"Awnnn you think you can fix him' y/n?" She asked you so you shrugged in response,

"I'm not trying to fix him, he'd heal on his own, once he realizes that he's loved and cherished he'd move on from this pain" your words left her in giggles again.

"Tch tch tch y/n oh dear y/n..you should have seen him when we first met, he was like a love sick puppy around me, starving for my attention. The moment I had him in my arms i knew I'd never let him go but he was so weak, so so so sensitive, so fucking emotional but I changed that, I made a man out of him"

Your eyes teared up as she gloated about the abuse she had inflicted upon him and how she had ruined that sweet loving man for her own pleasure.

"And his skin looked so soft, so free of scars. Do you enjoy the artwork I made overtime?" She smiled an evil smile and whatever shred of humanity you had left in your heart for such a despicable soul vanished in that moment. She deserved this, even if she hadn't tried to hurt you she deserved this just for what she had done to him.

On the way back home he was too quiet, too distant, that always happened after such vulnerable moments, he'd go all broody as if those emotions he had shared had made him seem fragile, the damage she had caused him wasn't exactly superficial.

Once you reached your apartment he helped you sit down on the couch so you made him sit as well and snuggled into him.

"Talk to me" you said to him so he sighed and squeezed his eyes,

"I don't want you to think of me differently"

"Differently how?"

"Think of me as someone capable of such cruelty…as someone who could hurt you the same way someday"

You chuckled as he said that before you placed your hand on his cheek and made him look at you,

"Maybe you're capable of such cruelty daemon but these hands–" you linked your fingers with his so he brought your hand up to kiss it softly.."these warm big hands that have nurtured and nursed me back to health in the past few weeks..i know they will never hurt me..you can never hurt me"

"You believe in me that much?"

"More than anything"

He leaned into you to peck on your lips, at least he had you by his side of nobody else. Viserys's look of disappointment flashed on his mind.

"I have disappointed him again"

He said to you so you shook your head in response.

"He's not disappointed..he's worried about you baby"

"Mmmmm he's not proud of me either"

If only he knew of the sacrifices Viserys had made for his little brother.

"Can I ask you a question and you won't take it the wrong way?" He asked you so you caressed his cheek with your fingers to assure him "Why did you come to my condo like that?"

"I just had a feeling that something was wrong, i have been feeling that way from past few days…i promise i am not keeping an eye on you..I'd never do that to you dae"

He squeezed his eyes again as you said that before he placed his hands on his face and groaned,

"I know..I just .."

"I know baby..it's okay.. I don't mind you worrying about it"

"If you say so"

He got up eventually and picked you up to take you back to the room, as he put you down on the bed he carefully got on top of you, his thumb brushed over your cheek tenderly

"Am I forgiven?" He asked you so you hummed,

"Mmmm I'm still upset that you lied to me"

"I'm sorry sweetheart, it was for your own good or so i thought"

"I know..I still don't want you to lie to me like that "

"If I'd have told you you would have tried to stop me…fix me"

"Yess but only because I don't want to see you get in trouble..i need you in my life as much as you need me dae"

"Mmmhm? How much" you smiled as he said that,

"So much"

He placed his head between the crook of your neck to place soft little kisses and you took the opportunity to place your capable arm around his neck and working leg around his waist..you really wished you had the assistance of all your limbs today. Fuck Samantha. She had tried to kill you and you didn't think you were able to fully comprehend the situation just yet, all your attention was focused on him for now.

Sometimes you really wished you had met him before she ruined him slowly and deliberately for four long years that he was with her, years where he just wanted to love someone and be loved in return, the thought of this strong brave man that you had in your arms crumbling down and losing his faith in love every day that he spent with her often broke you apart in ways you weren't really able to describe in words. Sometimes you wished you had met him before her so you could have shown him that love didn't have to hurt this bad.

"What's wrong sweetheart?" He asked you softly as he wiped your tears, you hadn't even realized that you were tearing up.

"Just worried about you baby"

"Don't worry I'm not going anywhere..I'll figure it out I promise!"

"You better " you smiled as you booped his nose and the corner of his mouth curved at the gesture, he loved the way you loved him. He loved how much you loved him..

"Since I lied to you..you can punish me however you want" he mumbled softly so you placed your fingers on his chin and made him look at you.

"Daemon I'm not going to do that to you okay?" He smiled as he registered the worry in your voice,

"Silly girl..I'm going to say it again and this time ..look at me as I say it" he smirked mischievously so you raised your brows "I lied to you so you get to punish me however you want.. alright?I'll do whatever you want from me"

He enunciated each and every word seductively and the deep voice immediately warmed every inch of your skin. He wanted you to take charge, to make him submit, he wanted to be vulnerable in bed. It started as a fun sexual thing but neither of you knew how much this was going to help him recover from all the sexual trauma Samantha had inflicted upon him.

This morning when you saw her in his room, you felt as if your whole world would turn upside down again but the incident had only gotten you closer to him, in every possible way.

A storm was coming, you could feel it in your bones, there's no way she'd stay trapped in his condo forever and once she's out you also knew that she'd hurt him again but this time you won't let her take him away from you.

You were going to do whatever it takes to save him from her..

🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

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@stupidthoughtsinwriting

[spideystevie]

come back ... be here

summary: the summer before college is the cruelest time to fall in love 

word count: 4.8k

a/n: got this idea from #17 on this prompt list also loosely based on come back...be here by taylor swift. i am absolutely obsessed with the chasing down/running to your lover to tell them you love them moments in romcoms so i hope this delivers that. there’s some swearing but that’s it. just your classic friends to lovers. 

Hawkins has been all you’d ever known. Tree lines and lazy stoplights, friendly smiles and small town camaraderie. It was as much a comfort as it was a cage. The fear you’d always be stuck in your tiny hometown, never getting the chance to branch out and plant roots in other places. It was a stinging ache in your chest, monotonous and persistent. 

Your big escape lived in New York City. There was something in the promise of a city that never slept, of the people you passed never being the same ones each day, of a new beginning that made your chest ache in a different way. Something saccharine yet bittersweet. 

The days dragged away, heavy and long, one after the other after you sent away your application. You weren’t sure it would come back as an acceptance, but you also weren’t sure what you would do if it came back as a rejection. It’d be the final nail in the coffin, a finality you couldn’t accept. 

March was washed away and April bloomed like wildflowers in the fields. Songbirds chirped as the sun lifted over the horizon, washing the town in hues of orange and gold. A freshness blew in with the wind, sun-drenched and floral. Full of hope and new beginnings. 

The wooden chair at your dining table creaks as you sit down. A yawn escapes you, fingers wrapped around your favorite mug filled with fresh coffee. You’d slept in, grateful for a day off at work though you missed being obligated to see your friends for hours a day. The house is quiet, empty like usual with your parents away on business. It makes the sound of the mail coming in from the slot in the door that much louder. 

It hits the entryway floor with a smack and you pause, cup of coffee halfway raised to your mouth. You set it down on the table gingerly before standing. The chair screeches against the floor when you push away from the table and stand. You’re still in your sleep shorts and a sweater so old you can’t remember if it belonged to you or Steve first. 

Your footsteps are quiet but your knees crack when you bend to pick up the mail. You shuffle through it, freezing at an envelope placed towards the bottom. A purple return address next to the NYU crest, your name clearly printed in the very center. An eager anxiety pricks at your stomach. You drop the stack of bills and miscellaneous mail on the table near your forgotten cup of coffee, feeling more awake than ever. 

Your feet carry you up the stairs to your room and you shut the door behind you though there’s no one else home. The letter felt like a ticking bomb you needed to diffuse and you stared at it with a disbelieving awe. You could’ve opened it in the front room of your house but your bedroom seemed like the safest place. A waiting solace if you opened it and everything fell apart.

The envelope is thick and heavy in your hands. You trace your fingertips delicately over the NYU crest in the corner. It feels dreamlike, hazy around the edges and you have to pinch the skin on your wrist to make sure you’re not dreaming. 

Maybe you should’ve called Steve before deciding to open up the ticket to your future. But there was something about this moment that felt like you needed to be alone.

You hadn’t thought this moment would come when you graduated a year ago. You’d settled for the few odd courses at the community college nearby, content with stocking tapes at Family Video and saving up money to escape your small town with your best friend. 

Steve had been the one to shove the application in your hands, knowing it had been your ultimate goal. You’d protested at first, worried you wouldn’t get in and unwilling to deal with the sadness that’d come with that. But Steve had persisted, nothing but supportive the whole way. 

Nerves make your hands tremble as you carefully tear into it and you take a deep breath, steadying yourself before you pull the letter out. Your movements are careful, concise as you inch it out of the envelope. It shakes slightly from the anxious tremor in your hands as you read. 

We are pleased to inform you of your acceptance to…

You never finish reading it, the paper falling to your bedroom floor as you let out a squeal. Your grin is contagious as you stoop to pick the paper up, practically sliding down the stairs in your home in your haste to leave and tell Steve. 

You forget you’re still in your pajamas as you all but speed down the small streets of Hawkins towards Family Video. The acceptance letter, creased and a little wrinkled from your tight grip, sits on the passenger seat of your car. The parking lot is empty, the asphalt shining beneath the springtime sun. You nearly forget to lock your car in your excitement after you park. 

The bell above the door jingles as you yank it open, rushing into the store with your letter clutched at your side. It’s empty save for one customer at the back of the store being helped by Robin and Steve who sits behind the counter. He looks up when he hears you come in, an amused and endearing smile taking over when he sees you still in your sleep shorts and that old sweater, hair slightly mussed from sleep. His eyes hone in on the piece of paper at your side. 

“I got in!” you exclaim before Steve can greet you, waving the letter in the air and shaking it for good measure. Your smile is bursting at the seams. You’re shining like the sun in the sky. Steve’s mouth parts, jaw falling slack. 

“Seriously?” he says it like you’re kidding him but a surge of pride takes over when you nod. 

“Seriously!” you wave the letter again. His lips split into the biggest grin and he’s sliding over the top of the counter in a flash. Steve crushes you in a hug, nearly crumpling the letter between the two of you. Your heart swells and picks up its pace at the gesture, something that feels natural though slightly confusing. 

“M’so proud of you,” Steve says, voice muffled in your neck. He pulls back, immediately reaching for the paper in your hands to read it for himself. He mumbles it under his breath through the most genuine and proud smile you’ve ever seen on his face. “We are pleased to inform you of your acceptance to the school of Liberal Arts at New York University…”

Somehow it sounds even more surreal coming out of Steve’s mouth. Robin comes over a minute later, an eyebrow poised as she takes in your appearance and Steve’s grin, the paper still in his hands. “What’s going on here?”

“I got in!” you grab the paper from Steve, all but shoving it in Robin’s face. Her eyes widen as she looks from the letter to you, back and forth before pulling you into the tightest hug. She pulls back, hands on your shoulders. 

“I knew you could do it!” she squeezes your shoulders and then pulls you into another hug. The saccharine and bittersweet ache blooms heavy in your chest watching Robin read over the letter, your two friends fawning over you with more pride than you’ve ever seen. The realization of a goodbye in the future floats around your head and you push it away, leaving it for the end of a summer that has yet to begin. 

The summer that follows your acceptance feels like a new beginning. It’s turning a new leaf in life. It flips the page to a new chapter in your friendship with Steve. A delicate beginning rush. 

It wasn’t a secret to anyone who watched the two of you that there was something stronger lingering beneath the surface of platonic interactions. The world was a foggy shade of rose, dull enough to go undetected by the both of you. 

As June gave way to July and July bled into August, the fog lessened. Vision growing sharper around the edges, dusty rose seeming to permeate it whenever one of you was around the other. The nights spent together grow later and later until you’re minutes away from being asked to stay over instead of being driven back home. It’s lingering glances and fleeting touches, smiling a little too wide when you see him and cheeks burning vermilion when he sees you. 

You and Steve fell in love beneath a summer sun, flickers of love spotting in your hearts like new freckles on skin. It’s a blur of honeysuckle walks and close calls, moments spent in Steve’s pool that were more flirty than friendly. You’d almost tasted Steve and chlorine in the dead of July, his lips pressing wet against the plush of your cheek instead as you yelped at a honey bee buzzing past your head. It’s melted ice cream cones leaving you with sticky fingers and late night drives, your head poked out of the car to see the stars in the sky. 

The two of you know it before you’re conscious of it. You realize it sooner than Steve, hanging on a thread that something will give before you catch your flight at the end of August. Pulling and tugging at the frayed ends, hoping Steve will join you in the little enclave you’ve carved out in your heart. Steve crash lands into love, head spinning when he realizes it, August feeling like it’s slipping away like a moment in time.

A final summer. It’s the cruelest way to fall in love. 

Your last night in Hawkins is spent with Steve. A final movie night. A final goodbye. His arm is wrapped around your shoulders, sinewy muscle a comforting weight while you’re pressed into his side, knees bent and almost resting in his lap. 

He let you pick the movie despite it really being his turn to pick. A John Hughes movie plays on the television in his living room, something Steve always associates with you. An empty bowl of popcorn sits by your feet on the couch. Steve smiles when you laugh and pretends to be annoyed when you quote the lines on screen with the characters. 

The screen fades to black, feeling like a goodbye in itself. Your stomach drops while the credits rise on the screen. Steve tenses beneath you, the two of you more than aware of what the movie ending means for the two of you. You don’t move, wishing there was a way you could stay here forever. 

Steve was your final goodbye before your morning flight tomorrow and you were dreading it.

He would give anything to freeze time for another week just to have more time with you. He knows it’s silly, that you’ll be back when the seasons change again but something in him wants to beg you to stay. You both hesitate by his front door, not knowing how to say goodbye to someone you’ve just begun to love. You dragged out tying your shoes as long as you could, hugged Steve more times tonight than you can count. 

Something in him is prodding his brain, urging him to tell you everything like he’d planned to tonight. He’s not sure how he can. You stumble through the whole goodbye, extending it out to the empty street where your car is parked. 

Your eyes seem to plead with him. For him to tell you that he’s in love with you too, to ask you to stay. A part of you thinks you would if he asked.

He never does. 

He hugs you tight one last time, bodies pressed so close together you think you might melt into one. You wish you could. You lean back enough to look at him, eyes darting all around his face like you’re trying to commit every angle and plane, every freckle and mole to memory. 

Steve looks at you with a deep intensity, the beginnings of a confession sitting on the tip of his tongue. Instead, he says, “you’ll call me?”

“So much you’ll be sick of me. I’ll even send letters by carrier pigeon if I have to,” your lips quirk into a sad smile. Steve laughs softly though there’s a seriousness etched into his features. 

“I’d never be sick of you,” his voice is husky and low. It spreads heat to every part of your body, makes your heart bruise your rib cage. Something in the way he says it feels like a confession in itself and just when you think you’re going to get one, he presses a long and lingering kiss to your cheek. 

He opens the driver's side door of your car for you, giving you a tight smile. You blink at him as he takes a couple steps back towards his front door. 

“I’ll see you soon, yeah?” he calls from a few feet away. You muster up as much of a smile as you can and nod. You grip the side of the car door with one hand, the other resting on the roof of your car. You watch his back recede from you as he gets closer to his front door. 

“Hey, Steve?” you call out. The tiny flame of confidence inside you gets snuffed out when he turns around, eyes a little wide and his hands in his front pockets. You swallow, your mouth suddenly feeling dry. There’s a long pause as you debate what to say, a confession now sitting on your tongue. Instead, “miss you already.”

“Miss you too,” his smile is sad, twinged with heartbreak. “Have a safe flight.”

And then he’s turning back around and you get in your car, the engine revving to life. You don’t drive off until you see the front door close behind him. 

Steve feels incredibly mopey the next morning. A heavy disappointment hangs on his shoulders, the regret of not telling you eating at his stomach. The pestering nag from the night before persists even as he gets dressed and heads to work. 

When you had gotten your acceptance letter, excitement bleeding out of you and pride heavy in Steve’s eyes, the day you had to leave seemed like it was years away. To Steve, it felt like he blinked and it was here. In a few short hours you’d be on a flight to New York, miles away from Hawkins until the winter holidays. 

It didn’t feel right going into work without you in the front seat of his car. It didn’t feel right that he’d be stocking tapes with Robin while you were soaring through the sky overhead. 

He gets to work the same time you arrive at the airport. A new box of tapes sits on the counter that Robin has already started working on. A few stacks of new releases are already sitting near the computer when he clocks in. 

“Thought we weren’t getting another shipment until next week,” he says, sidling up next to Robin to help sort through them. She gives him a once over, taking note of the downturn of his lips and mopey look in his eyes. 

“Thought you weren’t gonna be coming in today,” she replies, moving to the computer to enter a stack of the new tapes into the system. Steve pauses, eyebrows furrowing as he looks at Robin’s side profile. She pretends she can’t feel his eyes burning into her skin.

“What are you talking about?” he asks, leaning against the counter. Robin doesn’t look over, fingers flying across the keyboard. 

“Figured you’d be too depressed to come in today. Isn’t today the day of the big move?” she asks, more than aware of the answer. She’d stopped by yesterday to say goodbye on her way into work. “You told them last night didn’t you? That was the plan.”

Steve clenches his jaw, trying to ignore the regret eating at his insides and the nagging that pounded his head. He doesn’t say anything, bracing himself for Robin’s response. At his silence, her fingers stop moving and she turns to look at him. She raises her eyebrows, annoyance clear on her face. 

“Seriously? You let them go without saying-”

“Yes, god, Robin, it’s not a big deal, I’ll just…say it when they come home in a few months,” he tries to shrug it off, turning back to sort through the new tapes. He pretends he doesn’t notice Robin’s eyes boring into his skull. She rolls her eyes, turning back to the computer with a sigh but she doesn’t say anything else. 

A silence blankets the store. The only sound comes from the keyboard as Robin types and plastic hitting plastic as Steve stacks tapes on top of each other. Steve frowns when he lifts the next VHS out of the box. It’s the newest John Hughes, one you’d made him see in theaters more than once. 

The nagging from before grows louder in his head. His head is spinning as he stares at the cover, mind reeling with impulses.

“Robin, what time is it?”

She turns and grabs his arm, twisting it towards her to read the time off his watch. “8:16. Why?”

“I gotta go,” he drops the tape on the top of a pile, rounding the counter. Your flight didn’t leave until just after 10, if he left now he’d make it in time. He’d have to. 

His feet carry him faster than ever to the door. He’s pure adrenaline, brisk movements that pause when he reaches the entrance to the store. He looks back to Robin, one hand ready to shove the door open.

“If Keith asks, tell him I…” he trails off. Robin looks at him with an amused glint in her eye. “Just cover for me.”

The bell rings overhead as he runs out of the store and to his car. She shakes her head, a smile on her face as she watches him peel out of the parking lot, tires squealing as he goes. 

Steve has no regard for the speed limit as he drives, the only thought on his mind being you. He feels sick to his stomach with adrenaline, hyper focused on getting to you before you get on the plane to take you to New York. The airport is an hour away, maybe even less with how heavy his foot is on the gas when he merges onto the highway.

Trees whip past the windows in a blur, the small town of Hawkins disappearing into the horizon behind him as he nears bigger buildings and a busier world. The Indianapolis Airport sits on the outer edge of the city, seemingly just as crowded as he remembers it to be when he was younger.

Steve races into a parking spot, his tires braking with a screech against the asphalt. He throws the car into park and almost forgets to lock it behind him in his haste. He’s all but sprinting through the crowds of people at the airport, swerving around families and yelling apologies over his shoulder when he bumps into someone. 

He practically skids to a stop in front of the list of departing flights, eyes racing over random gates and times to find yours. His chest heaves and he’s sure he looks a little manic. A twinge of anxiety eats at his stomach when he notices the time ticking away on his watch. 

The place feels infinitely bigger than Steve remembers it being as a kid and he gets lost once or twice, frustration pricking the nerves under his skin. His sneakers squeak against the floor as he hustles towards your terminal and to your gate.

If he could go back and change anything, he’d have never played it so nonchalant around you. Steve would’ve kissed you breathless months ago, would’ve confessed to you the moment he fell. He wouldn’t have let you leave last night without making sure you knew.

He’s out of breath when he finally reaches your gate and his heart sinks into a deep pit in his chest when he realizes it’s empty. 

Steve thinks he might be sick. 

His hands press against his temples and he turns in a small circle, eyes squeezed shut. He kicks at the ground, scuffing the toe of his sneaker against the linoleum. 

“God dammit,” he groans, dropping his hands. He opens his eyes only to watch as the plane moves away from the gate, taking you with it. He shakes his head. “Fuck.”

He says it louder than he really anticipates, vaguely aware of the stares he gets from parents and their kids waiting in nearby gates for their flights. The inside of his chest feels hollow, a cracked shell that used to house a beating vessel. 

The sound of his voice pricks your ears and you look up from where you’re sitting, eyes searching for the source of an all too familiar cadence. It doesn’t make any sense for him to be here but it doesn’t stop the anticipation that rises beneath your skin. 

Your heartbeat immediately picks up speed when you catch sight of him. Steve Harrington stands at the empty gate across the way. His back is to you but you’d recognize him anywhere, his slight slouch in posture and the waves of brown hair at the back of his head. What the hell is he doing here?

“Steve?”

His head snaps up, immediately whipping around to find the source of your voice. He thinks he has to be hallucinating when he turns around and you’re standing right there. An old sweater of his hangs off your shoulders, a small bag by your feet. He wonders if it smells like a mix of his cologne and your perfume.

You have to be a mirage, a glimmer appearing out of light. The confused pinch between your brows deepens, something that couldn’t be replicated, and he stares at it, wondering how the skin there would feel against his lips if he kissed it away.

“Hey,” he breathes it out, stepping towards you until he’s a few feet away. You shake your head at him and the Family Video vest he’s still wearing, his orange name tag glinting in the fluorescent airport lighting. 

“What are you doing here?” you ask, a little exasperated, your arms wrapping around yourself. He looks around at the bustling airport, catching the sign above your gate and realizing he had been looking at the wrong one all along. You hadn’t left him yet. His gaze lands back on you.

“I couldn’t let you go,” he says. 

“Steve, what are you talking about?” your confusion only deepens, intermingling with a smidge of frustration. 

“I was up all night thinking-”

“That’s never good,” you joke, your smile half hearted and faltering when he doesn’t even crack a smile at it. 

“-about you and how you’re finally going off to college like you always wanted and how I won’t see you for months and how that makes me sick with missing you and the only thing that kept going through my head after I said goodbye to you last night was that I can’t let you go.”

“What?” there aren’t enough words to express the confusion you feel. Steve was the one who’d encouraged you to go from the beginning. He couldn’t be serious but the determined glint in his eyes tells you he was. “What are you-”

“I can’t let you get on that plane without telling you that I’m in love with you.”

His confession hangs heavy in the air between you. The air grows thick, you feel like you can’t breathe properly. You feel like the world is spinning on a new axis, faster than the plane that’s set to take you away. He takes a step closer to you. 

“Steve…” your voice can barely be heard over all the noise. He shakes his head a little, eyes pleading a little with you to listen.  

“I love the crease you get above your nose when you’re confused,” a step. “I love that you’re the first thing I think about whenever a new John Hughes movie comes in a new shipment,” another step. “I love that my jackets always smell like you whenever you give them back,” another step and you’re toe to toe. You look up at him, eyes gleaming with the beginnings of tears. “I love that you’re the only person I’d drop everything for just so I could speed to the airport to say one final goodbye.”

His knuckles brush against your cheek, his fingers tucking themselves beneath your jaw by your ear. You’re doe-eyed and feeling like you might fall over. Your arms fall to your sides. 

“I couldn’t let you get on that plane without telling you.”

You let out a soft laugh, thick with emotion and tears. Steve brushes away one that escapes with his thumb. You shake your head but your face is beaming.

“You’re an idiot, Steve Harrington,” your face softens, voice dropping. “But god, I’m so in love with you.”

He grins, dipping his head down to press his lips against yours. His other hand comes up to cradle the other side of your jaw. Your hands press against his chest before gripping at the fabric of his work vest. 

Kissing Steve feels like second nature, like you should’ve been doing this all along. The world may have been put on a new axis but something has finally clicked into place. It feels like coming home. 

The overhead intercom announcing boarding for your flight causes you to pull back. The lovesick look in both of your eyes turns a little sad. You swallow. “That’s me.”

He nods, hands falling away from your face and finding a home in his front pockets. You glance over your shoulder at the line formed by the counter. It’s dwindling rather fast but you waste no time in throwing your arms around Steve’s shoulders. 

You hug him to you tightly, squeezing him harder when his arms wrap around your waist. You can feel the tears pricking your waterline again and you squeeze your eyes shut, pressing your face into the side of his neck. You wish there was a way to fuse your bodies together. 

Steve loses track of how long you stay like that, holding on tight to each other, not wanting to let go. He’s not sure how he can let you go now, it feels so cruel the feeling that sinks deep into his bones. 

How can you miss someone so intensely when they’re still being held in your arms?

The intercom announces the last call and you take one last inhale, desperate to memorize the scent of his cologne and the way it mixes with a scent that’s just him. You press a kiss to his neck, chaste and soft. 

“I’m gonna miss you like crazy,” you say, arms loosening their hold as you step back. Steve smiles at you as he nods, his eyes shining with tears and everything else he wishes he could say to you.

“You’ll call me when you land?” he asks, trying to hide the tremble in his voice. You squeeze his hand and nod. He glances at the flight attendant by the entrance to the jetway who’s watching you say goodbye before kissing you one last time. 

It’s more firm than before, says everything that you both can’t say and more. When you pull back, he slightly nudges you in the direction of your flight. You bend to grab your bag and sling it over your shoulder.

You hold his hand until you can’t anymore, fingers outstretched towards each other like magnets being pulled apart. Your footsteps are a hurried drag as you go to give your boarding pass to the attendant. An invisible string is being pulled taut between the two of you, willing you to stay together.

You turn to wave one last time, blowing Steve a kiss that he catches and sticks in his front pocket. Your chest aches with longing, you miss him already. He mouths an I love you that has you grinning sadly and then you turn around and walk down the jetway. 

You wait until he can’t see you to wipe away the tear that slipped over the curve of your cheek. Something about falling in love like this feels cruel, sinking into the feeling right as you’re about to be worlds away.

Steve stays where you left him until your plane takes off and disappears from view. He misses you immediately, stomach twisting and heart yearning. He loves that he has someone to miss but god does he wish you took him with you.

[halloweenhoneylover]

vanity project

summary: steve keeps the reader company while she gets ready (steve harrington x fem!reader)

word count: 2.8k

warnings: nothing i think? but lmk if not

author’s note: idk if milf was slang in the 80s but im gonna hope it was

“Can I come over early?”

The handset is tucked between Steve’s ear and shoulder as he finishes categorizing the returned tapes. Despite a rocky start, he’s rather good at his job at Family Video, so his dexterous fingers sort through the tapes quickly and without much extraneous thought, allowing for most of his brain space to be occupied by you. 

Hunched over your kitchen counter, you hold the phone in one hand and snag a grape with the other. “I mean, yeah, you can, but I can’t promise I’ll be fun ‘cuz I have to get ready.”

“I think you’re fun all the time.”

“Suck-up,” you tease, munching on the grape with a grin that says that you don’t mind the praise at all. 

“I don’t care as long as you don’t.”

You pause a moment. Insecurity snags in your stomach. Yeah, he’s seen you with no makeup, and yeah, he’s seen you all done up, but he’s never seen the process before, and something about it makes your nerves tingle. Your thoughts are clouded for a half-second, but clarified with the realization that it’s Steve. He’s the nicest boy you’ve ever dated, so you set aside your worries, your desire to see him trumping. 

“No, I’m good.”

“Okay.” You can hear his grin through the phone. “See you at 5.”

—

Steve’s a punctual guy, so he’s knocking at your door at exactly 5 PM. Jogging down the stairs, you swing open the door, greeted by the sight of him with his hands tucked into the pockets of his windbreaker. He looks like something out of a romance movie with his hair and his chest and his long legs, and he smiles. “Hi baby.”

Leaning down, he pecks your cheek, and despite the fact that this greeting of his has become a habit, your cheeks glow with warmth, and you hope he doesn’t notice how deep you’re in it for him. 

Brandishing a small smile, you greet him, “Hi, Steve.”

“Steve!” Your mom’s voice echoes from the kitchen where warm yellow light pools on the hardwood. “Hello!”

Ever the gentleman, he walks to the kitchen’s entry and leans on the doorframe. “Hi, Mrs. [Y/L/N]. What are we making today?”

You press the front door shut and come up behind him, resting a cheek on his shoulder to watch the interaction. Shutting the oven door and smoothing her hands on her apron, your mom preens at his interest. “Some curry recipe I got from the lady a couple doors down. Smells pretty good, doesn’t it?”

“Smells wonderful,” he lauds, and she throws a dismissive hand.

“You’re too sweet, but I won’t keep you. I know you two have to be ready to go to that party soon.”

You’re already dragging him away, but he leans against your tide to reply, “We won’t leave without trying some curry!”

Throwing him a playfully disdainful look down the stairs, you chide, “I feel like you’re starting to like her more than me.”

He shrugs, stepping onto the landing. “I’m just a big hit with moms.”

“Please don’t hit on my mom.”

“That’s not what I said.”

Turning to him in your doorway, you stop him in his tracks. “The only mom you should have eyes for is me in twenty years when I’m a hot and sexy milf.”

“We’re gonna be such a sexy old couple.”

Twin grins, you poke him in the stomach and kiss the corner of his mouth quickly before turning to sit at your vanity. You plop into the chair but notice him trotting along at your heels and witness a moment of aimlessness when he can no longer follow you. It makes something sweet and lovely scratch at your sternum, and you point at the bed. “D’you wanna sit there?”

Climbing onto the bed, he reclines at your headboard. “So far from you though.” 

You pay little mind to his lament as you busy yourself with the makeup in front of you. Absentmindedly, you respond, “Such a hard life you lead, Steve Harrington.”

Hearing a slight commotion behind you of squeaking bed springs and rumpled duvets, you look back, and he has situated himself on his stomach, head propped on his hands at the end of the bed. You lift an inquisitive brow.

“So I can watch you,” he answers.

“You’re insane,” you murmur, but you can’t deny how pleased you feel at his nearness and his insatiable desire to be close to you.

For a moment as you pump some moisturizer into your hand, you think this might happen in relative silence, only the soft sound of Simon and Garfunkel pouring from your cassette when he’s pointing at your hands. “What is that?”

Flashing a glance to him in the mirror, you recognize genuine interest in his eyes, brows furrowed in confusion. You start to rub it in while you speak. “It’s moisturizer. It’s what makes my skin soft.”

“Love that stuff.” He crosses his arms and rests his chin on his forearm. “‘Cuz you’re really soft all the time. One of my favorite things about you.” 

Gesturing with the bottle, you ask, “D’you want some?”

His eyes narrow more, and he juts his chin out. “What does it smell like?”

You bring the pump to your nose and sniff, cocking your head in contemplation. “I dunno, kinda nothing?” You hold it out for him, and he sniffs too. 

“Yeah, I’ll try some.” He hauls himself up into a sitting position, putting out a hand that you pump the white lotion onto. Quizzically, he inspects it before mimicking you, patting some onto each region of his face before hesitantly rubbing it in. “‘S kinda nice.”

You reveal your teeth with a Cheshire cat smile. “You’re gonna be glowing, Stevie baby.”

“Gonna be the belle of the ball at this fuckin’ party.”

That pulls peals of laughter from you, and he’s pleased with himself, having made you laugh.

He points at your assortment of makeup. “What do you do next?”

Picking up a tube that you start to unscrew, you chatter mindlessly. “Lotta people like to do foundation, but that’s too heavy for me, and it always ends up wiping away by the end of the party, so I just put some concealer on the bad parts of my face to cover all th—”

“There are no bad parts of your face,” he points out.

“Ha ha, Steve.” You stare in the mirror, carefully placing the doe-foot on any spots and ignoring the sweet boy behind you, but this doesn’t sit well with him.

“No, I’m serious.”

Something about his tone urges you to look at him, and when you do, you can see he’s telling the truth. The gravity in his gaze sits deep in your gut and shushes when you try to speak, so it only comes out a whisper. “Thank you, baby.”

He reaches out to tame a cowlick on the side of your head, so his eyes are focused on your hairline when he speaks. “Prettiest girl I know.”

You don’t really know how to move after that, and you’re looking at him with those big shiny eyes, so he tempers the heavy silence by licking his thumb and going for your hair again. “Got some stupid hair though. Never wants to listen to me.” You find yourself smiling again as you swat his hand away gently. 

You can’t stop grinning as you pat in the concealer with your ring finger. “Next, we’re gonna do our brows, okay?”

Instinctively, he raises a hand to his eyebrows which have resumed their furrowed state. “What is there to do?”

You’re pulling out another tube, unscrewing it to reveal a wand, and he scrunches his forehead further. You brush it through your brow hairs, pushing them up and smoothing out the tails, and he taps your jaw, wanting you to turn to him. You do, and he quizzically inspects your brows, squinting like that’ll somehow help. “I don’t see a difference.”

Tilting your head, you send him a lazy, knowing smile. “You might not, but I do, and that’s all that really matters.”

He nods his head with a relenting expression. “Yeah, alright.”

Picking up a compact, you pop it open and show him its contents. “‘Kay, so this is blush—”

“I know this one!” he announces triumphantly. “Makes your cheeks pink. I’ve seen my mom use this one.”

You’re beaming at him, his pride probably the cutest thing you’ve ever had the pleasure of witnessing. “Exactly.”

He points at the compact and with deeply serious eyes, he asks, “Can I try putting it on you?”

You’re trying to keep your smile from growing embarrassingly larger but failing miserably. “Course you can.” 

With eager fingers, he snags the compact and stands unnecessarily close to you (you don’t mind), urging you to look up with gentle fingers on your jaw. He’s tall, so your head is tilted all the way back, and it’s a good excuse to shamelessly stare. Popping the blush open, he inspects the rouge. “How do I do this?”

You have to clear your throat to get your voice working again, but you still gaze at his face because why not? “It’s a cream, so you can just put some on your fingers and tap it on my cheekbones.”

He hums in assent, looking very serious about his new duty when all of a sudden, he dives down to place a flurry of kisses over your face, holding your jaw with his empty hand and pulling surprised giggles from you. “Steve!”

Finally he relents, pulling up to his height with a breathless smile to inspect his work. Mirth gleams in your eyes as you stare up at him, and just as he suspected, the prettiest pink dusts your cheeks. “See? Why would you use makeup when I’m a pro at making you blush.”

Glancing at your reflection in the mirror, you see that he’s right and shake your head in disbelief.

“You’re a menace, Steve Harrington.” But your smile betrays the harshness of your accusation. “Besides, this kind of blush fades.”

“I can keep kissing you, that’s not a problem.” He’s cocky in the best way now, and it’s insane how he reduces you to quickened heartbeats and butterflies with such ease. 

“PDA freak,” you murmur.

“Alright, alright,” he relents, bringing his attention back to the abandoned compact in his hand. “Since you wanna take the easy way out.”

With great care, he smears the flat part of his middle finger in the rosy cream, and once satisfied with the amount of it, he begins to gingerly pat his finger across the plush of your cheek, and he tries to ignore the way your eyes have grown immeasurably large and pinned him down with your gaze.

“Stop staring,” he mutters, still entirely concentrated on the blush. “Performance anxiety.”

“Sorry.”

You don’t stop looking though.

He gathers more rouge and switches to your other cheek, gentle as all hell, and you don’t think you’ve ever put this much intense care into makeup application. Lifting his finger to hover over your face, he squints down at you to inspect his work, and he takes his thumb back to the first cheek to blend some smudge you can’t see. “How’s it look?”

A light hand on your jaw encourages you to look at the mirror, and he leans down close to you to see the reflection of his work. “Pretty good if I do say so myself.”

And he’s not wrong. Maybe a little generous with the pink, it’s still blended nicely and makes you look freshly kissed which was his ultimate goal. 

“Still think we should’ve gone with my original method, but this looks pretty good too.”

Grabbing his face with both hands because you’ve gone so long looking without touching and you’re desperate, you bring his face to yours and plant a big kiss on his lips. “Thank you, baby.”

He keeps you close to kiss you more deeply. “‘Course, pretty girl.”

Unhappy to depart from this closeness, you turn to your vanity with a sigh, and he sounds shocked when he exclaims, “There’s more?”

“Yeah, there’s more, idiot,” you chastise lightly as you grab an eyeshadow palette.

He collapses onto the ground in a huff but tucks his feet under his knees to sit criss-cross, ready for the long haul. When he looks up at you, you’re bathed in the warm light of the mirror, and he thinks you can’t be of this earth, looking all angelic and golden above him. You’re smoothing something soft and shimmery on your eyelids, and he’d gladly prostrate himself at your feet in worship. 

You pull out another tube, this one is black, and when you unscrew the wand, he remembers watching Nancy reapply her mascara in his bathroom, and he finds himself fascinated by the rituals of beauty. You brush it through your lashes, and they were long before, but now they’re positively luxurious, and attraction stirs in his stomach.

“Just have the lips left,” you say as you run one last swipe of mascara through your lashes. “Are we thinking lipstick or lipgloss?”

“Lip gloss,” he says too quickly. “Always.”

Your narrowed eyes are turned towards him with a suspicious quirk in your brows. “You said that so fast. Should I be weirded out that you seem really into the idea of me wearing lipgloss?”

“Not weirded out,” he says sheepishly with a hand coming up to scrub the back of his neck. “Just appropriately appreciated.” He pauses before deciding to be plainly honest. “You look hot.”

You have to turn your head away, avert your gaze because suddenly your blush was back in full bloom, and you couldn’t keep looking at him because it would only get worse. “Lipgloss it is.”

Something burns in his chest, right behind his ribs, and he thinks it might be fiery happiness and gluttonous attraction and something that starts with an L that he can’t name. Pulling his knees up to his chest, he watches you hopelessly as you apply the sticky gloss, and he knows he’s down bad. Down terrible. Down atrocious. 

When the gloss is on, you rub your lips together to smooth it all out before putting the tube down and moving the chair you’re on so you can sit next to Steve on the floor. With two hands, you smooth the hair out of your face and turn your whole body to him directly. “Okay, what do you think?”

He doesn’t really know quite what to say. Your newly done face shines up at him, and he feels like he’s choking down an outpouring of words that are embarrassing, and he’s not quite ready to be so vulnerable in this moment. So instead of speaking, he scrutinizes every little part of your face: the glow of your skin, the warmth of your cheeks, the brows that he finally recognizes as tamer than usual, and most importantly, your sheeny eyes looking up at him from under long, soft lashes and shimmery shading that makes you look like a proper sin. You’ve already pushed your hair away, but he takes a steady hand to brush at your hairline anyway, anything to touch you. 

“Can’t believe I’ve got a real life angel sitting in front of me,” he whispers, and you duck your head.

“You’re too nice to me, Steve Harrington.”

“I’m not being nice, I’m telling the truth. You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.” Palm on jaw, he runs a thumb gingerly beneath the swell of your shiny bottom lip, and you reach up and grab his wrist, not stopping him, just wanting to touch and be near. 

“You’re pretty handsome, too.”

He furrows his brow. “We should skip this party, right?”

You laugh, but he’s not entirely joking.

“Just want you all for myself, gonna wanna leave the second we get there and somebody else gets to look at you like this.” He takes your hand and presses chaste kisses to each knuckle. “I wanna be selfish.”

Your brows are upturned, and your eyes glassy. “Me too.”

Before he can rile you up, you grab both his hands and cradle them into your chest. “But we can’t abandon poor Robin.”

His head hangs in defeat. “She’ll be fine,” he mumbles.

You drop his hands and stand with great effort. “Yeah, she would be fine, but we’re not gonna do that because we’re friends, and we’re nice, and if we don’t go to this party, you won’t get to see the dress I bought for tonight.

That perks him up immensely, and his head pops up with newfound enthusiasm. “You bought a dress?”

Smiling, you know you have him exactly where you want him. “Yes,” you purr. “And it’s silky and soft and you won’t get to see it unless we go.”

He cocks his head with a dramatically pensive expression before nodding his head, and his lips stretch into a devilish grin.

“I guess we should probably go to this party then.”

[munsonsreputation]

Soon You'll Get Better

Chapter One: Doctor's-Office-Lighting

↢ prologue | series masterlist | chapter two ↣

summary: revelations of max's mental and emotional health come to light when you and steve take her to a check-up. determined to do whatever you can to help her, you and steve work on getting her to open up about her life. max comes to realize that the support is genuine and that she isn't alone, whether if it's about her state of mind or relationship.

word count: [12.2k] kinda proof-read

: ̗̀➛ pairings: big-brother!steve x max & big-sister!reader x max

: ̗̀➛ romantic pairing: steve harrington x fem-college-student!reader

: ̗̀➛ warnings: talks about mental and emotional health, billy's death, self isolation, panic attack, crying, talks about attempted sewerslide (max almost says it, but steve stops her), mentions of breakups, overall a lot of fluff despite the angst.

With the sun beaming down at Hawkins and the skin tickling breeze passing by, it would’ve seemed as though nothing bad had ever happened in this small town, but that would be far from the truth.

Max hadn’t felt the warm enveloping blanket of the sun and the gust of wind against her skin in days. Instead, she spent the dwindling hours of summer locked in the trailer, watching the same VHS tape on repeat like background noise while she paced back and forth cleaning up the pile of messes and lost in her own thoughts.

The only time the depths of misery in her mind paused was when the telephone rang. She would stare at, contemplating on answering, but just being too drained to even reach it or utter a single world. Her best friend El, leaving countless of voicemails asking when she would like to hangout next or simply if she was ok.

She didn’t like worrying El. It wasn’t her fault that she was feeling like this. At the end of the day, it was no one’s fault. But shutting people out just seemed to be her default way of dealing with everything, especially something like this.

“Max, honey,” A few more knocks tapped on her door. For once her mother was home, but spent the day figuring out payments with the bank and handling a bunch of adult shit that she was too far to care about.

The young girl sighed, kicking off her blankets, and staring up at the ceiling. One. Two. Three seconds before she mustered the energy to get up and open the door. “What’s up?”

Her mom looked over behind her shoulder, then back at her daughter, “Your friend El is here. She’s worried about you.”

Max brushed past her mom, heading straight down the narrow hallway of the trailer until she saw her best friend along with Steve and you, his girlfriend, on either side of her.

“Hey—” She couldn’t even get the whole greeting out before El had stepped forward and bound her arms securely around her best friend, a sigh of happiness leaving her mouth.

Slowly, Max hugged her back, not knowing that El was this concerned about her and if she had known that her best friend was going to show up unannounced like this, she would have picked up the last seven calls she had missed.

“Why haven’t you picked up my calls?” El wondered, pulling away and observing the features on Max’s face that seemed to have dulled.

The apparent bags under her eyes, a tell-tale sign that Max had not been getting enough sleep and was fatigued.

“Busy doing chores, I’m sorry, El.” Max felt terrible, she didn’t mean to treat her friend like this, let alone make her worry so much, but El just gave her a reassuring smile and shook her head mouthing, “It’s ok.”

“Did you ask them to drive you here?” She looked at you and Steve as you two nodded, him stepping forward first to give her a hug.

Max didn’t share many hugs with Steve, but today she granted him one knowing he took the time out of his day to drive here, “She was worried, which then made us worry, so we wanted to come here to make sure you were alright.”

When he pulled away, he took notice of the way Max forced a laugh just as quickly as it died in her throat when you stepped forward and hugged her strongly.

“Are you doing ok, sweetheart?” You inquired softly against her hair, and she only replied with a “yes,” before you had nodded and pulled away, not wanting to poke and prode.

It wasn’t long before her mother came back into view, resting a hand on Max’s shoulder and smiling at you three. You could tell she was worn out, the same way Max was. But the only difference was that her mother was good at trying to hide it. Meanwhile Max tried to, but the discomfort on her face said it all.

“I actually wanted to ask a favor from you two if that’s ok?”

Max glanced behind at her mom, raising a brow, but she squeezed her shoulder warmly, “Max, why don’t you invite El in for a little bit? I just need a word with these two, ok?”

She wanted to ask why, but not wanting to make the situation sticky, she grabbed onto El’s hand and led her inside of the trailer and towards her room where they could catch up in private.

Her mom stepped outside, closing the door behind her and smiling at you two, “I just hope this isn’t too much to ask, but, Max actually has a check up tomorrow morning, but I can’t take her because I’ll be working.”

You and Steve’s eyes caught the way her fingers fidgeted against one another, a distinct perception of stress and anxiety, just because of her asking for the favor.

“We could totally take her!” You chirped, taking away the embarrassment she had felt for asking such a favor from some teens.

Steve nodded, wrapping his arms over your shoulder and pulling your side into him, “Yeah, the two of us are both off, so it should be no problem.”

Her mom shifted eye contact between you both, “Are you sure it ok? The appointment is at nine, but I could reschedule it if that’s too early.”

You shook your head, looking over at Steve with a smile, “We’re usually up before then, so nine is perfect.”

When you looked back at her, she was more than relieved, placing a hand over her heart gratefully.

“Thank you! I would send Max there herself, but they need someone over eighteen to be with her in case, and I know she really trusts you two the most.”

Max wasn’t always particularly close to you and Steve, but as she had caught more rides from you both, she had warmed up to you two out of all the older teens.

“We’d be happy to take her. Do you have the address by any chance?” Steve sought before Max’s mom nodded, gesturing back inside the trailer.

“I’ll go write it down and I’ll be back out.”

You watched as she hurried back inside, leaving you and Steve there waiting.

“Maybe we could stop by a little cafe and get her some breakfast before we pick her up?” You suggested, leaning your head on his shoulder.

He kissed the top of your head first, “I’ll need a coffee. Do we really look like we’re the type of people to be up by nine in the morning?” Steve half joked with a short laugh.

You snorted, nudging him softly. “I didn’t want to make her feel bad…if this is the least we can do to help them, we can sacrifice a few hours of sleep.”

“I know, I know, you’re right.” He apologized, resting his chin on top of your head while they waited around for a couple of minutes before her mom and the two girls had come emerging from the door.

You reached for the small piece of paper with the scribbling of the address written on it with a faded blue ink that was still readable. Steve took it from you when you passed it to him, placing it in his jean pocket and creating a mental note to not forget it was there.

“Do you think I can stay for dinner?” El requested kindly towards you two, who were just offered to stay a little longer by Max’s mom.

Steve hummed, checking the time on his watch, but sadly shaking his head when he saw the time, “Sorry, El, we promised Hop we’d have you home by five remember?”

She pouted nevertheless, but smiled when Max hugged her and told her that it was ok.

“Maybe tomorrow you can head over to Will and El’s after your appointment?” Her mom suggested, “But you’ll have to ask her and Steve for a ride since they’re taking you tomorrow.”

The redhead grumbled, pulling away from her friend and looking at her mom begrudgingly, “Can’t we reschedule?”

Her mom shook her head, taking a deep breath. “You’ll need to go, Maxine. My insurance plan finally is in effect and it’s covering all our medical expenses, thank god.”

“Fine.” She puffed, crossing her arms over her chest a clear sign that she did in fact not want to step foot into any doctor’s office whatsoever.

“C’mon, hon, let’s get you back home before your dad freaks.” You smiled delicately, reaching a hand out for El who took it, and stood by your side.

Steve pointed at Max, a small smile on his face, “We’ll see you tomorrow morning, alright?”

Max just nodded, forcing a smile as she watched the three of you get into the car with El in the backseat, waving goodbye to her best friend as they drove off into the late afternoon.

“Maxine, I know you’re upset.” Her mother spoke apologetically, resting a hand on the small of her daughter’s back, guiding her back into their home.

She moved away from her mother’s hand, settling onto the couch to bring her knees up to her chest, “I just don’t understand why you can’t take me? Can’t you just go to work late?” she argued.

Her mom sighed heavily, grabbing dishes from the small cabinet and placing them down on the even smaller corner table of the trailer, “Honey, we’ve been through this a million times.”

Max rolled her eyes, the script she had memorized time and time again flowing out of her mouth before her mom had anytime to beat her to it, “Going in late means missing hours which means less money, which means no food, no electricity, no money, no rent, no home.”

Her mother took a deep breath in and out, approaching Max and kneeling at her side. “I’m sorry, Max. You know I have to do this for you.”

“Yeah, I know, it’s whatever.” Max brushed off, resting a heavy head on her kneecaps with an unsatisfied frown.

With the windows rolled down, El relaxed in the soft leather seats of Steve’s BMW. The only sounds were the soft hum of the icy cold air conditioning cooling the hot air and whatever that was on the radio playing faintly.

“You ok back there?” Steve said, looking into the rear-view mirror catching the sight of the young girl who wrenched her shoulders.

You turned back and gave her a one over. The pout was still on her face and now her arms crossed like Max had hers a few minutes ago, “What’s the matter, hon?”

“Max….she is sad.” She told you two obviously.

Steve pursed his lips, glancing quickly behind at her, “Did she tell you that?”

She shook her head, but spoke, “I know she is. When I asked if she was ok, she didn’t answer.”

“I’m sure she just wants some time to herself,” you assured her. “Her and her mom are still trying to adjust to life without Billy and his dad around.”

It had been a little over a year since the battle at Star Court where Billy had sacrificed himself to the mind-flayer in order to save Eleven’s life. You and Steve could still recall the memory vividly. How you two watched from the second story of the mall where you two had been throwing fireworks alongside Lucas and Max in order to deter the monster.

Yet it all happened so quickly, Billy putting himself in between El and the mind-flayer, before getting brutally wounded by the creature and the blood oozing through his white wife-beater and splattering in the air.

Max couldn’t believe her eyes, dashing down the stalled escalator stairs and dropping to her knees beside her slain brother. His eyes blanking out and only a few words escaping his mouth before he had died. She was in shambles, shaking him, screaming at him to wake up, but he had accepted his fate.

You and Steve had rushed down the same steps, nearing the two girls who had been weeping. El had pulled Max into arms, letting her cry there, and shielding her eyes from her brother who was bleeding out in front of them.

“I’ve got Max.” Steve declared, running up to the girls and guiding Max out of Eleven’s hold and into his arms where he led her outside of the mall.

El had immediately sprung to you, crying into your shoulder as you walked the two of you behind Steve and Max as the sirens resounded through the air.

Ambulances, firetrucks, and military vehicles overflowed the mall parking lot as they all hastily assessed the well-beings of the children first.

Hopper had found El in the back of an ambulance, the scar on her forehead being dealt with before he embraced her in a tight hug.

Nancy wrapped a blanket across the shoulders of her brother Mike, rubbing her hands and down his shoulders to create warmth.

Lucas and Erica ran to their parents as soon as they saw them stopped at the bright yellow caution tape, baring them off from seeing their kids.

She watched as everyone reunited with their family while she had no one waiting for her. But you and Steve, stuck by her side in the back of the ambulance, letting her rest her head on Steve’s shoulder while you soothed her.

Steve shook his head at the horrible remembrance, thankful that the worst was over and finally everyone in Hawkins could live in peace away from all that supernatural shit. He had you and his friends, something he was grateful for, but a part of him still felt the heaviness of it all, especially for the young girl Max who never seemed to fully recover from the year ago attack.

“I’ll tell you what,” Steve started, catching El’s eyes in the rearview again, “If she’s up for it, we’ll swing by tomorrow and take you guys to the arcade.”

El erupted at that, smiling broadly with an excited nod which made you laugh, hopeful that Max would feel a little better and would want to have some fun with her best friend that missed her greatly.

The next morning, Max was out of bed earlier than usual not wanting you two to wait around for her if you two were to show up earlier. She had gotten dressed in her usual baggy jeans, a stripped t-shirt and Billy’s oversized jean jacket to go over it.

A note hanging on the refrigerator read, “Have a good day, Max…Mom loves you, always!” She left it hanging there, switching on the TV while she waited.

When a soft knock followed by her name, came against the door, she knew you two had arrived. The clock on the stove read 7:15 just a few minutes early. She promptly grabbed her keys and her walkman, hooking it onto her jeans and opening the door.

“Morning sunshine.” You radiated against the morning sunlight, holding out a small cup of hot cocoa and a breakfast sandwich for her.

She actually smiled a little, locking the door before taking the items from you as you both walked the short distance to the car where Steve had been waiting in the driver’s seat.

“Hey Max, the cocoa good?” Steve turned, watching the young girl open the door as she took a sip of her drink.

She hummed warmly, and you shut her door before getting into the passenger, “I told him you were more of a latte type but he supposes that sixteen-year-olds shouldn’t be drinking coffee.”

Steve rolled his eyes, picking up his now empty cup of black coffee, and shaking it side to side, “Kids shouldn’t be drinking this shit.”

“So you’re calling yourself old?” Max proposed, opening up her bacon, egg, and cheese taking a bite.

“I think he is.” You tormented, jabbing at Steve’s side while he fussed and Max snorted quietly at the scene.

You and Steve looked so happy—not only as a couple, but just as humans.

For the most part, you all had gone through the same things last summer—except you and Steve were locked in the Russian base while Max and the others dealt with the mind-flayer stuff. Nevertheless, the anguish and memories of what had happened all remained the same throughout their group of friends, yet everyone else seemed to get over the hump of what happened.

Everyone except her.

She wanted to be happy again. Happy with herself. With her friends. With her boyfriend. With life. But everything just seemed as though it wouldn’t pass.

The sadness, the guilt, the nightmares would never be something she would be able to escape.

As you drove to the doctor’s office, you tried to make small talk with Max, asking her about what she had been up to lately. She gave short, one-word answers, and you could tell that she was still feeling down just like yesterday. Steve remembered what El had told them about Max being unhappy and decided to try to see if he could get her to open up.

“Max, is everything okay?” Steve finally asked, breaking the silence that passed after a couple of minutes.

Max shrugged, staring out the window of passing buildings and slower cars, “Just tired, I guess.”

You exchanged a worried peek with Steve, but didn’t push her to talk. It would only make her more uncomfortable and irritable, something you both wanted to avoid.

The doctor’s office was a small clinic a little further into town, nevertheless you three were on time, avoiding the morning bustle of traffic on this Friday. Steve greeted the woman at the front desk, checking Max in while she helped you fill out the necessary forms.

“Maxine Mayfield?” A nurse called out as she walked into the waiting room.

You patted Max on the shoulder, giving her an encouraging smile. “Just call out if you need us, ok?”

“I will.” She assured you, following the nurse into the exam room.

The appointment wasn’t anything special, just a yearly exam to make sure everything was going smoothly with Max’s health. They checked her ears, eyes, reflexes, and asked her a few questions.

“One last thing,” the nurse smiled, putting down her stethoscope and grabbing the clipboard and pen resting on the counter, “This is just a short questionnaire I need you to fill out. I’ll leave the room and give you a few minutes ok?”

Max nodded, grabbing the clip board and begun filling out the form. Reading the questions in her head and thinking for a few seconds before appropriately determine where she fell in each of the boxes. After ten minutes, the nurse came back, collecting the form and allowing her to head back into the waiting room while the doctor reviewed the report.

Steve sat up when he saw her emerge from the doors. He recognized the jean jacket to be Billy’s, practically too big and swallowing Max up whole. “How was it?”

Her pointer and middle finger gestured to her eyes then back at him, “I still have 20/20 vision and impeccable hearing.”

“That’s what we like to hear.” You grinned, patting a chair between you and Steve so she could sit awhile until she’d be seen by the doctors and discharged.

The waiting room was quiet. Just the small talk of the receptionists and replay of I Love Lucy playing through the TV filled the comfy space. You conversed with her for a short while, talking about the Kate Bush tape she had in her walkman. She let you have a listen to her favorite track, “Running Up That Hill,” telling you about the meaning of the song before her name was called, prompting you to take off the headphones.

“Guardians of Maxine Mayfield?” The doctor wore the typical white coat with a stethoscope cloaked over her neck and a clipboard in hand with Max’s files.

“Here.” Steve stood up, and the doctor smiled, nodding her head gesturing for you and Max to come along into her office.

“Are you her brother?” She called for, holding the door open to a small room.

Steve looked at Max unsure of how she wanted him to answer that, and the redhead shrugged, “Something like that.”

The doctor chuckled, offering you three a seat in front of her desk. Max sat in the middle with you and Steve on either side of her.

She glanced through the documents once more, and nodded to herself before looking at you two, “Everything seems to be looking good with her physical health. She did great on the vision exam and even better on the hearing test.”

Max smirked, nudging both you and Steve with her elbow. “Told you so.”

The doctor looked over the last page of the clipboard, the questionnaire that Max had filled out moments ago, all indicating worry, “But we do have an area of concern when it comes to her mental and emotional wellbeing.”

Max could feel the space suddenly become thicker, all eyes shifting towards her and the painful quietness lingering as you all expected her to say something, but she didn’t. She didn’t want to admit that there was something obviously going on in her life that she had been hiding, but now was eating her alive.

Steve coughed, tearing his eyes away from a very uncomfortable Max and looking at the professional, “W-what’s the matter?”

She pulled off one of the pages, and slid it towards him, “On a scale of zero to five, five being everyday, have you been feeling down, depressed, irritable or hopeless? She checked off five.”

You gulped, looking at Max who now seemed to be burying her head in her shoulder, looking towards the door closest to Steve.

“Max, do you want to talk about it?”

She shook her head, her shoulders sulking deeper, “It’s nothing. Everyone feels like that sometimes. It passes. Normal teenage shit.”

“Hey,” Steve pointed, shaking his head at the explicative, “language.”

The doctor shook her head, understandingly, “No, it’s okay. Max, these feelings your having isn’t normal. I know it may seem like it, but if you’re constantly feeling bad about yourself everyday, then it may be a bigger issue.”

She reached for a pamphlet in her desk drawer, gliding it towards Max who finally peered at it. A girl crying in bed on the front page, with some sort of statistic in bold font above.

“Most teenage girls your age are more likely to develop depression and anxiety, especially if there are contributing factors like bullying, isolation, a rocky home life—”

Max snapped her head, suddently triggered and fed up with the conversation, “Nothing is wrong with me!”

Your eyes enlarged, attempting to soothe her with a touch of your hand on hers, “Max, hey, c’mon—”

She recoiled, retreating from your hand, “No!” she shouted, standing up, directing her anger towards the doctor in front of her who didn’t take the outburst personally, knowing there had to be an underlying issue.

“You don’t know what I’m feeling. You don’t know my life. You don’t know a damn thing about me or my family.”

With that, her feet thudded against the floors, tearing the doctor’s office door open and hurling it shut. She didn’t care about the stares she got from the other patients in the waiting room and the receptionists calling out for her—she wanted one thing and it was to get the hell out of that place.

You and Steve had never witnessed a frenzy like this from Max. It was out of character for her to take help defensively. She obviously had her guard up for a reason, but you two had no clue what it was about.

Steve only glanced at you once, before he was following behind her. “I’ll check on her.” You nodded, remaining in your seat as you shot the doctor an apologetic look that she lifted.

“I want Max to know that I’m here to help, not to judge her. Her answers to the questionnaire is extremely concerning. Do you maybe have any clue as to what might be causing these feelings?” She asked you and your thoughts for a moment, shrugging your shoulders.

“I mean,” you gulped, “s-she lost her brother over a year ago, but she hasn’t really opened up about it too much to know.”

The doctor nodded, reaching for another pamphlet and passing it to you, “That could be it. Especially for girls her age, it can be hard to talk about what they’re feeling. All of these emotions she’s been dealing with could be starting to build up and bubble over.”

You took a deep breath, nodding, trying to process what had just happened and what were the next steps to helping Max. Telling her mom would probably make her more upset, yet you didn’t know if it was right for you and Steve to keep it a secret.

Steve raced out the clinic doors before it could close shut and Max was even faster darting towards his car, tugging on the door to try to hide away in the backseat, as if she wasn’t going home with either of them seeing her breakdown.

“Max! Stop!” Steve pursued, clutching her shoulder tenderly, to try to get her to look back at him.

Through the reflection of the glass window he could see her scrunched face, reddening cheeks with tears pushing past the brink of her eyelids where they tumbled down. Her chest heaved up and down heavily as her fingertips tightened around the door handle, still trying to tug it open.

“O-open the door, Steve.” She choked, pushing her shoulders back to try to get his touch off of her, which he complied with, dropping his hands from her shoulder, but never opening the car doors.

He sighed, moving beside her, stooping down a bit to look at her.

“I’m not opening the door until you talk.”

She shook her head, fingers wiping her cheeks when she finally met his eyes that were full of concern, “T-talk about what! How f-fucked up my life is? Is that what you wanna hear?”

Steve swallowed thickly, shaking his head with immediate regret. That wasn’t what he wanted. For her to think he pitied her or wanted to force her to open up. He just wanted to be let in, to know why she was feeling like this and why she hadn’t asked for help sooner.

Her eyes kept on him, the tears never stopping their journey down her cheeks. Her jaw trembling as she started to speak once more.

“God, Steve, I mean, isn’t it obvious that my life is total s-shit? I don’t need a doctor to tell me that I’m fucking sad! I already know that! She doesn’t think that I already know that I’ve contemplated to—”

He didn’t let her finish her sentence, “Hey, hey, c’mon,” smoothly guiding her head to his chest where she ultimately ceased talking and open mouth sobs left her instead. She let herself fall into Steve’s hold, her finger tips falling from the car door and instead clinging around Steve like an anchor, which would be the only thing to keep her from floating away.

Her sobs grew louder by the second, every single suppressed emotion she had been bottling up inside of her finally overflowing into tears that now drenched Steve’s polo. But Steve didn’t mind at all, holding her tighter as he closed his eyes tightly and begun whispering soft words of reassurance to her.

As you tightly held onto the pamphlets the doctor had given you; you pushed open the doors of the clinic, instantly met with the scene of Max in Steve’s arms. Your heart sank, quickening the pace of your footsteps as you shoved the papers into the back pocket of your jeans.

When Steve had finally opened his eyes, with his arms still engulfed around the young girl he held, he saw you, face full of concern as he mouthed, “she’s not ok.”

You winced, nodding your head, still calmly approaching as you placed a loving hand on her shoulder. “Hey, I’m here.”

She slowly retracted her face from Steve’s chest to look at you. Her features were twisted in heartache—brows furrowed and the tears streaming down her face, leaving a trail of wetness in their wake. Her lips quivered as she tried to catch her breath to speak to you, yet she couldn’t.

Instead, she unwrapped herself from Steve, hurrying into your arms where you immediately wrapped your arms around her securely.

“Shhh, I’m right here, sweetheart. It’s gonna be ok, ok?”

You held her close, clinging to her shaking body with each sob she took, rubbing her back gently and offering her the comfort she desperately needed. Steve watched the scene unfold, his own eyes filled with tears and without hesitation, he moved closer to both of you, wrapping his arms around you and Max.

Together, the three of you stood there in silence, holding onto each other as if your lives depended on it. Max continued to cry, but her sobs grew weaker as the moments passed. The only sounds in the car were the occasional sniffle or hiccup as she worked to regain control of her emotions.

When she finally did begin to pull back, Steve immediately let go, as did you, watching her concerningly as she mopped her tears with the back of her hand as she asked, “can we g-go home?”

“Of course.” Steve nodded firmly, finally opening the back door where he let her get in first.

You quickly got into the passenger seat, rummaging through the glove box where extra napkins were kept, and you passed her a few to dry her tears with and she let out a quiet, “thank you.”

The drive home from the doctor’s office was subdued, the only sounds in the car the soft hum of the engine and Max’s occasional sniffle. You and Steve exchanged worried glances, both of you unsure of how to help Max in her current state, but still determined to, nevertheless.

When you three finally pulled into the trailer park, you’d fully expected for Max to wave her goodbye and let that be the end, but instead she invited you inside.

The trailer was clean and tidy, not a single pile of mess could be found in the space, but it was mostly because Max had spent all her days in here trying to use up her time in any way shape or form that didn’t deal with facing anyone.

“Do you want me to make you some lunch?” You offered politely, shrugging off your jacket and slinging it over one of the kitchen chairs.

Max went over to the small sofa into the middle of the living room, shrugging her shoulders as she pulled Billy’s jean jacket over her body like a blanket.

“There’s some crackers and peanut butter in the pantry. That’ll be ok for me.” She said, and you nodded, grabbing a plate and butter knife from the dish rack and heading for the pantry.

Steve sat on the other side of Max, still placid as he wanted to wait for you before talking to Max about the events that just unfolded. After a few minutes, you returned with a plate of crackers and a small dish of peanut butter on the side. You offered it to Max, and she happily took it, beginning to munch down on the snack.

You looked at Steve, his eyes silently telling you whether it was ok for him to speak about everything and you nodded lightly, just enough for him to see.

“Max, uh, do you wanna maybe talk about how you’ve been feeling?” He proposed, resting his elbows on his knees, watching her chew her last bites before she swallowed and shrugged.

She was hesitant to open up. She had never really told anyone at all about how she was really feeling inside. It wasn’t something that she normally talked about…her feelings that is. She thought it was just better to suppress everything, but today was the breaking point and she knew that it was time.

“Sometimes, I feel so lonely,” Max expressed, her voice barely above a whisper. “I know I have you guys a-and my friends, but sometimes it feels like nobody understands what I’m going through.”

The pain she felt. The loss. The sadness. The guilt. That’s what nobody knew she was going through.

Steve reached over and placed a comforting hand on Max’s shoulder. “We may not know exactly what you’re feeling, Max, but we’re here for you. Always.”

Max nodded, her eyes misting over with tears as she felt comfortable to say a little more. “It’s just that...I’ve been feeling so guilty lately,” she continued, her voice trembling. “About Billy’s death. Like it’s my fault somehow.”

Her eyes finally turned to yours, first, ocean blue orbs looked like a flood of waves crashing with the tears beginning to form.

Then her head turned to Steve, blinking where the salty tears leaked again, “I-I just keep picturing his face. The…the blood. E-everything comes back to me and I can’t escape it.”

The words poured out of her in a rush while you and Steve listened attentively. Distress coating both of your gazes as you watched Max’s tears begin to pour quicker, her voice nearly breaking, and her hands shaking as she went on.

“M-maybe if he was here, then I wouldn’t feel this way, but…but I know that I can’t do anything. And I hate it! I hate that I can’t do a-anything about it!”

Steve could see the panic rising in Max’s eyes, and you both knew what was coming. Sure enough, a moment later, Max let out a strangled sob and clutched at her chest, her breathing ragged.

And so Steve quickly got up, stretching towards the kitchen for a glass of cold water while you scooched closer to Max, holding her hands in your palms and soothing your thumbs over her shaky knuckles.

“Hey, take a deep breath for me, Max,” You guided, breathing along with her as she kept her eyes on you and followed your directions.

In and out. Breathe. In and out. Breathe.

The cold condensation from the glass cup dripped on top of your hands where Steve was holding the glass above. Max instantly reached for the cup, gradually gulping down the ice cold water every so often as she continued the breathing routines.

Steve remained standing in front of you two, ready to spring into action if Max needed to be rushed to the hospital or anything like that, but thankfully she began to calm down, handing the cup back to Steve once she had finished it.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered shaking her head, annoyed at herself for not having any control over her emotions that she had to act out like that, “I didn’t mean to freak out like that.”

You and Steve both shook your heads, him moving to take his place back on the couch beside her, “Don’t apologize, Max…sometimes it happens. Nothing wrong with that.”

You nodded in agreement, slinging one of your arms across her shoulder while the other rested on her knee, “We’re here for you, alright? You have nothing to be sorry for.”

Max didn’t know how to react. She wasn’t used to this level of sympathy, or at least not since she was a younger child. Nowadays, her mother didn’t have much time to comfort her like she used to. Instead, she settled for simple phrases like, “It’s just in your head Maxine,” or “You’re just having one of those days, it’ll get better.”

A part of her, missed the comforting talks and hugs that she and her mom used to share, but she knew that it was a part of growing up and getting older.

She wasn’t expecting to be coddled all her life, but it was nice having you and Steve around to make her feel assured. To know that you both were actually here for her and trying your best to understand where she was coming from and all of her feelings rather than brushing it off.

“Thanks for being here.” Max spoke gratefully, reaching either of her hands out around both of your shoulders and pulling you in for a squeeze.

Steve let out a small puff of relieved air from his mouth along with a, “Yep,” while you leaned in and hugged her closer, kissing her temple before pulling away.

“Why don’t we go to the arcade?” Steve suggested, knowing that it would be a good opportunity to get some of the heavier things off of Max’s mind especially after the eventful morning you all had.

You nodded, nudging the young girl slightly. “I’m sure El would like to hang out, right?”

She sniffled, nodding her head as she sat back against the cushions and your arm, “Yeah, she did tell me she misses me a lot…I miss her too.”

The three of you spent a few more minutes on the couch, just sitting and talking about what games she wanted to play at the arcade after not being there for a couple of days. After Max finally settled completely, she called El and invited her to the arcade, even Will, but he was busy working on a new painting but offered to come next time around.

The car was now filled with music as the four of you drove to the arcade. Steve seemed to sneak more glances at the backseat through the rear-view mirror. A smile on his face as he saw Max loosening up with the presence of her best friend while they softly sung to the radio and talked amongst themselves.

Once you finally arrived at the arcade, Max seemed to feel a lot better already, laughing and screeching excitedly as she and El played their favorite games while you and Steve stood off to the side in order to give them some space.

“Max looks like she’s having fun.” You nudged Steve playfully, watching the way his face lit up, knowing his idea was so far working.

He grinned sneaking his arms around your waist to pull you closer.

“She deserves to have some fun. She’s been through a lot today…and god knows for how long.” he sighed sadly, resting his head on top of yours.

You understood how Steve felt—if only you two had known what was going on with Max sooner, maybe then you’d both would be able to help her earlier. Yet you knew there was no use in regretting the past but just hopeful for what was to come.

“C’mon, I think I want that pink unicorn.” You dragged him towards the claw machine on the other side of the arcade, still in view of the girls to keep an eye on them.

Max and El continued to compete the high score on Pac-Mac while you and Steve took turns at the claw machine trying to win the fluffy bright pink plush you wanted. After a many tries, Steve was successful, happily presenting you with it and you thanked him with a kiss.

“I think we have a winner!” Steve whistled, strolling behind Max and El with two other plushes in his hand that he had won after a few more attempts.

They turned around, smiling as they each reached for one. El picked the baby elephant and Max got the koala bear. Each of them satisfied with their gifts as they laughed and thanked Steve with smiles.

“We gotta get you girls home.” He announced, looking at his watch for the time, followed by some whines that were quickly eased away by you.

“In a few days we can give you two a ride here again, alright? Steve has work tomorrow and y’know how he is about his sleep.” You smirked, squeezing Steve’s cheeks as he groaned but leaned back into you.

“Oh, we know! Remember that time you fell asleep, and we drew a mustache on you?” El piqued enthusiastically, causing you and Max to laugh out loud.

Steve glared, reminiscing of how he volunteered to host movie night at his place for the kids only for them to grab the markers and begin doodling all over his face. He only realized it the next morning when you popped in with breakfast and couldn’t stop laughing when he greeted you at the door.

“Yeah, yeah, c’mon you twerps.”

El was the first one to get dropped off, already wistful about having to leave her best friend, yet excited for the upcoming plans to come. As you and Steve drove back to the trailer park, Max sat quietly in the backseat, fiddling with her stuffed animal and lost in her thoughts.

Today felt like one of the most relaxing days she had in a long time, despite how the morning had started off. It was nice being able to be consoled and not having to feel like her feelings were such a bad thing. She wanted this feeling to last, but she knew today would eventually come to an end.

When Steve finally pulled up in front of her trailer, her mom’s car was already parked in the grassy space, indicating she was home from a long day of work.

He turned around to face her, watching her unbuckle her seatbelt, “We had a great time, Max.”

Max gave him a smile in return, wiggling the plush he had won her today, “Thanks for taking me…it means a lot.” she said quietly.

“Of course, sweetheart,” you said kindly, maneuvering in your chair to face her as well, “We’re always here for you.”

For her. Always there for her. You two.

The words itself were like a warm embrace to Max’s cold soul that filled her with comfort and security. Just like the hug that you three shared earlier in the day in the doctor’s office parking lot. You two had no idea how much that hug meant to her. How nice and safe it was to feel like she was protected, to feel like she was heard and listened to instead of interrogated and shunned.

Max nodded, her eyes filling with tears. “I know,” she said, her voice breaking. “And I appreciate it so much. Especially with everything that’s been going on lately.”

You and Steve exchanged another set of concerned looks that was familiar from this morning, but you two knew you wanted to do everything you could to support Max through what she was going through.

“Max, we’re here for you no matter what,” Steve said firmly. “You can call us anytime if you need to talk or help with anything, alright?”

Max nodded, sniffling as she wiped her tears away, pushing a smile onto her face, “Thank you,” she said softly. “And thank you for taking me to my appointment. It means a lot.”

Steve smiled reassuringly. “Of course, Max. We’re happy to help.”

As she gathered the rest of her belonging, ready to exit the car and call it a day, she turned back to you and Steve, “Can we do this again soon?” she asked hopefully, her voice filled with need. “I had a lot of fun today.”

You and Steve grinned, nodding your heads as Steve reached out to ruffle her hair, making her laugh freely.

“Absolutely, I’ll give you a call tomorrow and let you know when Steve is off next.” You told her, and she beamed with excitement as she got of the car.

“Thanks…I’ll see you guys soon!” she said, closing the door behind her as she got out.

She waited there to watch you both drive off, waving goodbye as you and Steve watched her in the rearview until she was out of sight into the afternoon sunset.

The car ride was quiet, the both of you not wanting to spark up the conversation around Max’s mental health. You two would never truly be able to understand what she was going through, but there seemed to be a silent agreement that the both of you were going to be there for Max every step of the way.

It wasn’t the fact that Steve didn’t like working at Family Video—He got to work with one of his best friends, Robin. He got first dibs on new tapes for date night. He didn’t have to do much beside stock shelves, count inventory, and work the register.

But the pay wasn’t much, and the days were slow…sometimes too slow, like today.

Barely any new customers came in to rent some tapes and the old ones had yet to return their way over due tapes, something Robin would take care of with a phone call. He just needed to stick around for a few more weeks until he’d hopefully get promoted now that Keith was leaving his position as manager and he would get a little more money.

The money, of course, was going to a good cause: getting to move in with you and helping you with rent.

Though you never asked Steve or made him promise to help you with rent once you got your own apartment after graduation, but he just wanted to be considerate. He knew it wasn’t easy being a college student and adding on working a part-time job, so he wanted to do all he could to help you out if he was going to move in with you.

“Harrington!” Steve exhaled thickly, the chime of the front doors ringing followed by the voices of the teenage boys who loved badgering him on the job.

He turned around, being greeted by Dustin, Will, Lucas, and Mike, “Hey shitheads.” He joked, followed by a snort that came from Robin in the aisle over.

Mike and Will ignored the repartee, heading off into the horror section to see what new tapes were available, while the other two boys followed Steve as he headed towards the front desk to check off some of the inventory lists.

“You took Max and El to the arcade yesterday?” Dustin queried, watching Steve nod as he worked the pen.

He glanced up at the boy and shrugged, “They wanted to spend some girl time together…are you jealous you weren’t invited?”

Dustin rolled his eyes, shaking his head, “Never, it’s just that Eddie said he saw you and your girlfriend pick up Max early in the morning.”

Eddie Munson lived right across from Max’s trailer with his uncle Wayne. The two were never particularly close, but after Dustin started hanging around the dude and joined his DnD club, it was kinda inevitable that they’d become somewhat friends through the kid.

“Yeah,” Steve bowed his head, placing down the clipboard and resting his elbow on the desk, “We had to take Max to take care of a few things…have you spoken to her recently?”

He looked towards Lucas, her boyfriend, hoping to hear that Max was doing better, but instead, the young boy seemed to tense up at the question, shuffling from foot to foot.

“W-we actually broke up a few weeks ago and I haven’t heard from or seen her since. I think she’s avoiding me.” Lucas confessed quietly as Steve’s eyes widened at the announcement.

Dustin elbowed Lucas pointedly. “Dude, you didn’t tell him!?”

For a while, everyone knew about Max and Lucas’ split. Everyone except for you and Steve who were too busy to be probing into the lives of the kids they occasionally babysat. But in hindsight, it seemed to all make sense. Steve hadn’t seen the whole group of kids together at once for a while—Max was always missing. And Max seemed to only hang out with two other people El and sometimes Will.

Lucas sighed, shaking his head, “No! It’s embarrassing alright…I don’t even know what I did wrong. She just kinda dropped the bomb on me out of nowhere. I-I tried calling, but she never picks up.”

Steve’s heart sank, the words coming from Lucas reminding him of how El had phoned him the other day to tell him how concerned she was that Max wasn’t returning any of her calls for a while.

He knew that it might have something to do with what was going on with her emotional and mental wellbeing, but the breakup wasn’t the main thing. Max was strong and independent even before she and Lucas began dating. Steve knew that Max didn’t need a boyfriend to survive, but he had a feeling that maybe just maybe her emotions had pushed her to break it off with Lucas so suddenly and that was concerning enough for him to excuse himself into the break room to use the phone in there for more privacy.

The phone rung a few times before you finally picked up, “Hey, baby,” Steve said breathlessly when you answered.

“Stevie! How’s work?” You requested, closing the textbook you were studying and giving your boyfriend your undivided attention for a few minutes.

“Slow as per usual. The boys actually dropped in.” He told you, and you hummed, guessing they were probably causing some trouble that Steve needed to get away from.

“Yeah? Have they been poking fun at your vest?”

He chuckled, looking down at the pin you got made that said, “Best Salesmen” followed by his name, “No, no, actually it’s about Max.”

You furrowed your brows, sitting up in your desk chair as you listened more for the information that Steve was hurling at you.

“I asked Lucas how Max was doing, but he said that she broke it off with him a few weeks ago and he hasn’t been returning any of her calls. Completely out of nowhere.”

“Shit,” you moaned, rubbing your temples as he let out an agreement on the other side of the line.

“Right. And…I don’t know. I know she doesn’t need Lucas, per se. I mean she’s smart, and witty, and cool, but—but, maybe, do you think it has anything to do with what the doctor said?” He proposed, thinking back to the conversation in the doctor’s office.

You thought to yourself, nodding your head and responding, “Possibly, I mean, the doctor did say that isolation is a big thing that she could be doing to avoid talking about her feelings. M-maybe she broke up with Lucas because she felt bad about her feelings and didn’t want him to worry?”

“Yeah, yeah, that could be it,” He rubbed his chin, checking the time on his watch hoping that his lunch break was soon so he could stop by Max’s trailer to see if she was ok and was coping with the breakup alright.

But still, his break wasn’t until another hour, and the worry was eating him up alive, “Do—”

“I can go and pick up some of her favorite things and go check up on her?” You offered before he could ask, and a sigh of comfort left his mouth.

“Please…and let me know how she’s doing?” He asked almost desperately, as he heard you putting your highlighters and pens away.

“Of course, baby, I’ll call you when I get back.” You told him, gathering your keys that were a short distance from the phone before getting ready to hang up.

“Sounds good…OH! And maybe you could get her the Hershey’s bars with the almonds inside? I know she likes those.”

He remembered the movie night a few months ago, the same one where they all drew on his face. Max had gone straight for the candy bar, monopolizing it to herself and only giving pieces of it to El and a few to Steve, since he was the one who bought it.

You laughed, making a mental note and adding it to the list of things you were already planning to get Max in order to cheer her up, “Got it, babe! I’ll head out now. I love you.”

“I love you, too.” He replied, hearing you smack your lips giving him a telephone kiss as he chuckled and did the same before hanging up first and getting back to work. He had hope that the more he worked the more time would pass and he would hear back from you with good news.

The grocery store had all you needed for the pick-me-ups that Max would surely like. The chocolate almond bar that Steve told you to get, a few more bags of candy, some tissues, and a small bouquet of flowers for the extra touch.

You stood there in front of the trailer, tapping gingerly and calling out her name a few times before you could hear the footsteps from inside coming closer until the doorknob twisted and there was Max dressed in an oversized t-shirt with her hair in a messy bun. Your smile faltered slightly when you remembered why you were here in the first place.

“Hey,” she greeted, opening the door wider when she saw it was you. Furrowing her brows with the items in your hand, you smiled apologetically, handing her the flowers first.

“Hey Max. I brought some stuff to cheer you up,” you said watching her take the florals and look at you confused, “I’m so sorry if this is awkward, but Lucas told Steve about the breakup and he told me, and we just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

Max’s expression softened, stepping aside to let you in, “It’s okay, you don’t have to apologize…this is actually really sweet.”

You smiled weakly, walking into her trailer and feeling relieved that she wasn’t upset. “No, yeah, we just wanted to make sure you’re doing alright since we had no idea about it.”

The two of you sat down on the couch, and you watched as she grinned when you gave her the rest of the treats. The chocolate bar being immediately ripped open as she broke off a piece and offered it to you first, which you accepted before she began indulging in it.

You chewed on the sweet treat, swallowed before you spoke, “So, uh, Steve and I were just wonder…did Lucas do something to hurt you? Or is it just that you’re not interested anymore?”

Max felt the knot in her stomach, sighing as this would be the first time she was explaining it to anyone. Even when Lucas asked why and even El, she simply brushed them off and told them it was normal or nothing.

“It’s not that. I still love and care about Lucas, but I just…just don’t think that a relationship is good for me right now. I’m not in the right mindset, y’know?”

You nodded, understanding where she was coming from and it all washed over you, “Yeah, I totally get it. And I’m sorry again if we were prying or anything. Just want you to know me and Steve are here for you, through anything and everything.”

The young girl smiled, feeling grateful for the kindness and time you took out of your day to come in and check on her when you could’ve simply picked up the phone and called. The effort mattered, and she was appreciative of that.

“Hey…and if Lucas loves you, he’ll understand and be patient,” you added, smiling softly and resting a hand on her knee, “take all the time you need, and when you’re ready, you two can work things out.”

She didn’t bother speaking a word to you. Her smile and arms that she wrapped around you were enough for her to express that she was thankful for everything you and Steve had done in the past three days.

“Do you think I could spend the night at yours? Girls’ night with me and El, if you’re not busy or working tomorrow?” She sought, pulling away from you as you smiled and nodded.

It was a Friday and thankfully you didn’t have much work to get done for school and you didn’t pick up a shift at the general store until next week so you were practically free, “Sure, but just in case can you call your mom and make sure it’s alright with her?”

She nodded, getting up for the phone before she turned to you, “There’s some lemonade in the fridge that I made this morning. Eddie’s uncle gave us a whole bag last night…apparently some guy at his plant has a huge lemon tree.”

You snorted, nodding your head as you got up, heading for the kitchen and pouring yourself a refreshingly sour glass of lemonade while Max called her mom’s working place to get through and ask if it was alright to spend the night at yours.

Once she got the green light from her mom and calling El to invite her, she headed for her room, packing some of her things that she would need while she was at yours, along with some cassettes that she wanted to show to you and El. You washed up your glass, tidying up a bit before you used the phone to call Steve and let him know that everything was ok and that Max and El would be staying with you for the night.

She shut her bedroom door, walking out with her duffle bag slung over her shoulder, “I’m ready,” she announced to you as you smiled, still holding the phone to your ear.

Steve was concerned about Max and asked if he could speak to her over the phone to check up on her, “It’s Steve. He wants to talk to you if that’s ok?” You asked her, and she agreed, dropping her bag down on the sofa and accepting the phone you held out for her.

You could hear Steve talking her ear off the moment he knew that she was now on the phone with him. Max kept humming out “mhm’s” and “yes’s” nodding her head along with whatever Steve was telling her.

“You made a really brave and good decision, Max.” Steve spoke, his voice soothing, “Putting yourself isn’t a bad thing and if anything I’m so proud of you for doing it. If Lucas can’t see what an amazing girl you are it’s his loss at the end of the day. Take some time for yourself and when you’re ready, maybe you both will find your way back together.”

God, he felt like such a dad right now, but he said all the right words, the ones that Max needed to hear.

Her cheeks rose with a smile on her face as she thanked him, grateful for his support.

“Thanks, Steve. It’s just hard, you know? I still care about Lucas so much, but I just don’t feel like I can be in a relationship right now.”

“I get it,” Steve responded. “But I want you to know that you’re smart and don’t need a boyfriend behind you. You’re good enough on your own right now, and when you’re ready, you’ll find someone who deserves you.”

Max felt a sense of comfort wash over her. Sure maybe all the teens, including herself would make fun of Steve of being such a dad with all his lecture and advice, but he had this special knack for knowing how making people feel better, even in the toughest times and today it was no different with her situation.

“T-thanks, Steve. That means a lot,” Max’s voice cracked, feeling her eyes start to well up with tears out of nowhere.

You moved beside her, hoisting an arm around her shoulder, and you pulled her into a side hug, and brushed the tears off her cheeks with your thumbs. You knew she was massively touched by everything you and Steve were doing for her, and it was heartwarming to see her so vulnerable when it came to you two.

“Hey, don’t cry,” you could hear Steve say through the speaker, his voice gentle. “I know this is tough, but we’re here for you. Whatever you need, we’ll be here to support you.”

“Thanks, Steve,” Max spoke, smiling up at you as you continued to brush away her tears. “I really appreciate it. I just hope that one day, Lucas and I can patch things up.”

“I’m sure you will, Max,” Steve said, his voice reassuring. “But for now, just focus on taking care of yourself. That’s the most important thing, alright?”

She assured Steve and thanked him once more before he let her go. Yelling out an “I love you” for you before Max placed the phone back down on the receiver. She locked up the place, petting the stray cats outside the porch before she got into your car and you two drove off to pick up El.

Once the three of you were in the car, the party was already started. Madonna blasting through your radio with the windows down as you all shouted out the lyrics and danced in your seats. You decided to stop at the store to pick up a few more things to make it a bit more special. Wandering the aisles, you picked out face masks, microwavable popcorn, and all the other things that would make a sleepover fun.

When you finally arrived at your apartment, the girls couldn’t wait to make themselves at home, springing up the steps until they got to your floor, already hearing you doggie, Ollie, barking from inside.

You smiled, unlocking the door and letting them in first, watching as they dropped their bags and went straight for your pup. Cuddling him in their arms and giggling at his playful antics while you began unloading the bags from the store on the coffee table in the living room.

“Okay, tonight we’re going to have fun, but there’s just one rule!” You announced, dusting your hands off as you plopped onto the couch, watching the girls tilt their head up towards you and nod.

“No boy talk! None at all! Nothing about current boyfriends, ex-boyfriends…I don’t want to hear about your romantic lives and I’m sure you don’t want to hear about mine—no boy talk! Capiche?”

The girls snickered, nodding their heads, as they got up from the floor and decided to join you on the couch, reaching for a bag of chips and opening it to share with each other.

“So, how is college? Is it harder than high school?” Max sought before stuffing her mouth full of the crunch chips.

You breathed, nodding your head wistfully as their faces dropped.

“It’s definitely more rigorous, but it helps to have a routine. I’m getting used to it.”

El sat up, nodding her head in agreement, “Jonathan says that college is tough…he gets sad when Nancy is busy and doesn’t call because of study or exams.”

Jonathan, her half-brother through Joyce, had decided to stay in Hawkins, pursing his career of photography in town by booking some weddings and birthday parties. Nancy headed off for college the same year you did, but she went out of state at a university while you stayed back and decided to attend a community college to save some money first.

“Yeah, but it’s all worth it in the end,” you assured her, patting her shoulder as she went on, with wide eyes.

“I’m so nervous about college,” she pressed her hands on her cheeks as you and Max giggled, “what if I don’t get in?!”

You knew how she felt and it wasn’t too long ago when you were a senior feeling totally lost in the mix of applying for colleges and hoping for an acceptance letter.

“Don’t worry, you have plenty of time to figure it out,” You criss-crossed your legs together and looked between the two girls, “You two are gonna be sophomores in a few weeks and maybe then you’ll figure out what you wanna pursue and that will be something to check off your list.”

They looked a bit more relived yet nervous, realizing that they were in fact entering sophomore in a matter of days. The summer had flown by quickly and a new school year was about to be in session. Freshman year wasn’t too bad considering the fact that the group stayed together, but as time goes on, they knew that new friends would sprout and growing apart was normal.

“Hey…and when your senior year comes, I’ll be there to help you both with college applications and I’ll even read over your essays and make sure they’re ready to go.” You assured them, making them smile broader, no longer fearful about the future, but more so glad that they’d have you to go to for any college advice.

“We’ve got this,” Max smirked, high-fiving her best friend before Ollie had joined in on the excitement, barking cheerfully and running around in circles, making all three of you giggle at his cuteness.

As the day slowly dwindled into night, the three of you had changed into more comfortable clothing: big t-shirts and sweatpants. The couch was now situated with fluffed up pillows and even softer blankets. Your faces now glazed in the clay face masks with a movie playing on the TV and a big bowl of the popcorn being passed around the three of you.

Only the knock on the door made you three tear your eyes away from the TV. Ollie immediately running towards the front door, sniffing then barking. You got up, and Max paused the movie, as the two sat up, watching you open the wooden door first, revealing Steve on the other side of the outer screen door.

“Did someone order half pepperoni and cheese and half pineapple for a girls’ night?” Steve tries his best to deepen his voice as if his own girlfriend and the girls wouldn’t recognize him.

You rolled your eyes, stifling a laugh as you opened the door, to greet him, “You’re such a dork!” you say, giving him a kiss as he chuckles against you making sure his lips don’t touch the mask on your face.

He enters the apartment with the pizza box balanced on his palm, shooting a smile to the girls and Ollie who races in circles around Steve’s feet—the usual Ollie greeting.

The girls get up. El taking the pizza box from him and setting it down on the coffee table while Max picks up the small container of the clay face mask. He looks at them, puzzled, as El begins to speak, “You can stay, but you have to follow the rules!”

You’re highly entertained, listening to their conversation as you locked up the door and headed for the kitchen to grab some plate and napkins.

He huffs, crossing his arms over his chest, “Lay it on me.”

“No boy talk!” El declares firmly with a pointed finger, and he nods. Steve can totally do that.

Max steps closer. “Annnnd you have to put on the face mask,” she says with a mischievous grin.

Despite his protests and even begging for you to back him up, he eventually agrees, letting Max dip her fingers into the goopy product and smear it across his face. El grabbed the extra scrunchie on her wrist, tying back Steve’s hair into a wonky ponytail when he complained about it getting in his hair.

You couldn’t help yourself, jogging into your bedroom to snatch your polaroid off your desk in order to snap a picture of the scene in the living room. Steve sat on the couch with his face scrunched up, while Max laughed and swatted his hands away when he tried to stop her from putting more on. And El in the background giving a thumbs up with a massive smile on her face. The photo was definitely going to be one of your most prized possessions now.

Soon enough, Max’s hands were now free of the clay and all four of you had some pizza while you continued on with the movie before talking to each other about life. Steve was about to say something about Eddie entering the dating scene, but before he could finish, the three of you were shouting and groaning, “No talking about boys!”

Steve laughed, shutting his mouth as he apologized and you all laughed, “Sorry! Sorry. I forgot the rule!”

You smiled, shaking your head as you cuddled into his side, rubbing his arm up and down comfortingly, “We just want a night without talking about guys…I mean it’s pretty stereotypical, but sometimes it’s exhausting talking about boy…no offence, baby.”

Steve chuckled, nodding his head in agreement with your statement, “None taken, doll. And you’re right, boys aren’t the end-all, be-all, of life. All three of you can make it on your own without any man,” he looked down at pouting, “but like, totally, don’t break up with me because I just said that.”

Max groaned, garnering the attention of you both as you looked at her, “This is the only time, I’m breaking the rule,” she pointed at you two as you both nodded, “You and Steve do make a pretty good couple—caring, funny, and surprisingly reliable.”

El piped in, “Don’t forget cute!”

“Oh, and cute!” Max added, as she and El high-fived each other and you and Steve snorted at their amusement.

Steve wrapped his arms around you, holding you close, “Thanks, and now I can say that me and my girl are the cutest couple in Hawkins! You heard it here first!” He announced, making you laugh while the other girls sighed, shaking their heads.

“Oh god, we shouldn’t have said that!”

Soon all your faces are now cleansed and refreshed and the night is slowly simmering down with yawns and sleepy eyes filling the living room. You tidy up the kitchen, washing the dirty plates and cups, as Steve helps you out while the girls get homey in the living room, getting ready for bed.

“Thanks for letting them spend the night here.” Steve murmured from behind you, kissing your neck as you hum and close your eyes, letting him stay them for a moment before you turn your head and kiss his lips.

When you pull away, the two of you are still smiling, before you pat his chest, “C’mon lover boy, you need your sleep remember?”

He nods with a grin, taking your hand and kissing it before the two of you are walking back into the living room, standing in front of the couch where the girls are fluffing up their pillows.

“I’m heading out now, I’ve got a shift in the morning,” He told them as they nodded, getting up and each going in for a hug.

You smiled at the scene, heart-warming up as he wrapped his arms around them and pulled them a little closer, savoring this moment that was so simple yet meaningful to him. And especially for Max who held on a little longer, quietly whispering a “thank you,” before she pulled away and got comfy on the couch.

“Goodnight, Steve.” The girls yawned out tiredly, as they pulled their blankets up over their bodies.

Steve grinned, looking at how comfortable they were already, “Night bugs.”

He opened the front door, bending down to pet Ollie goodnight, before he was off running towards the couch and settling between the two girls comfortably. You wrapped your arms around him, inhaling his scent before you rested your chin on his chest, looking up at him as he looked down on you, pressing your lips together again.

“I love you, drive safe ok?” You told him and he nodded, kissing your forehead, then one more time on your lips before you had to unwrap your arms.

“I will, and I love you too…I’ll call in the morning before my shift.”

You nodded, smiling as he parted ways with you, walking down the steps of your apartment building and into the parking lot below where he waved at you before he drove off into the night.

Closing the door and triple checking that you had locked it, you made your way over to the girls, already beginning to doze off slightly as they forced themselves to stay awake to say goodnight to you.

“I’m gonna let you two have the couch with Ollie tonight, but I’ll just be in my bedroom and I’ll keep my door open if anything, alright?” You told them softly, and they nodded their heads, with dopey smiles on their faces.

“Kay, goodnight,” they singsonged as their eyes fell and you quietly giggled, bending down to press a warm kiss to the tops of their heads.

“Goodnight, sweethearts…night Ollie.”

As Max laid there listening to the slight snores already coming from El, she couldn’t help but think about how uncomfortable she felt a few days ago in the doctor’s office. The bright fluorescent lighting and the cold, sterile environment made her feel uneasy and anxious. She was on edge about everything the doctor was saying and how it all erupted before her eyes.

But now, as she lay on the couch in your living room, with the soft glow of the moon seeping through the curtains and her eyelids, she felt safe and at peace. The warmth of the blankets and the gentle hum of the air conditioning made her feel calm and relaxed. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, letting the tension in her body melt away.

As she drifted off to sleep, she couldn’t help but feel hopeful about the future. She knew that there would be challenges and obstacles to overcome, but she also knew that she had the support of her friends and especially you and Steve. With a smile on her face, she whispered a quiet “thank you,” grateful for this moment of peace and comfort.

a/n: i hope you guys liked chapter one of this series!!! i know it is angsty and there is a lot of talk about mental and emotional health, but i really feel like it's something worth talking about. opening up is never easy and i hope this story depicts the high and lows of what that's like from max's eyes, but also the blossoming relationship that max and steve (and reader) will start to form as time goes on. a big big thank you to @translatemunson for always listening to my ideas and giving me some to incorporate as well!! i love you, effie <3 going to start working on chapter two soon!!! in the meantime, let me know what you think: reblogs, tags, comments, and likes are greatly appreciated!!!

taglist (if you would like to be added just leave a comment!): @translatemunson @kennedy-brooke @manda-panda-monium @tvserie-s-world @wanderlustaflame @fruitbutt @thegaysaretired

[sixosix]

oikawa tooru: first, last, & everything in between kiss

blurb first kisses don’t always mean it’s the last. at least, to oikawa it is. you often wonder when you fell in love with him during it -- or has it always been there?

a/n !!! this took so long even tho it’s only 4k words? lmk what u think ab this fic once ur done reading! and thank u ( ˘ ³˘)♡

# fem!reader, high school pining, JEALOUSY, getting drunk, childhood friends to lovers

it’s different when you're in love with your best friend.

this is the first thought you have when oikawa’s eyes flutter shut and his lips brush over yours. a rather eye-opening discovery you probably wouldn’t have found unless you felt his soft mouth.

“y/n, have you ever had your first kiss?” oikawa said about an hour ago conversationally, tape all over his fingers. “i would be sad if you do. i haven't even had mine yet.” it's a stupid conversation, but kisses and romance and all the like were topics that were never brought up with them.

so you played along, swinging a sly glance along his way. “really? you, oikawa tooru, alleged golden boy with the alleged pretty face? you haven't had your first kiss yet?”

oikawa flushed ear to neck. “y/n-chan! what do you mean alleged?” he tutted, waving his finger in front of your face. “don’t lie, we both know i’m the man of your dreams!”

yeah, you thought forlornly, you are. “only an idiot would have you, of all people, be their prince charming.”

“are you an idiot—hey, wait! stop distracting me!” with unusual determination to continue his previous question, he squished your cheeks together with his palms, staring intently at you with chocolate brown eyes. “have you had your first kiss yet?”

your cheeks burned, heart pounding in your ears at his stupid fucking question and the stupid fucking closeness. “n-no!” you slapped your hands on top of his, brows furrowed. “don’t you think i’d tell you and hajime when something like that happens? idiot.”

oikawa hummed. “so you haven’t had your first kiss!” he said it like it’s good news. you clicked your tongue, smacking his hands away. “you don’t have to be ashamed, y/n-chan! in fact, i have a proposition for you.”

“big word.”

“thanks. iwa-chan kept slapping my head until i memorized it!” oikawa cleared his throat, blushing when you giggle. “anyway, let’s have each other’s first kiss!”

how’s the weather today? the sky is clear today! did you eat yet? let’s have each other’s first kiss! what did you have for breakfast?

you blue-screened. “w-whuuuuh.”

“y/n-chan!” he proclaimed, and then comes in what flipped your world upside down. “i trust you with my life because you’re my bestest friend—don’t tell iwa-chan—and i wouldn’t mind giving you my first kiss,” he grinned, then, all shiny and cute. “a first kiss is important, right? so i know i wouldn’t have made a mistake if i chose you.”

well, shit.

so you agreed.

and immediately regretted it.

when he pulls away, your brain does a big Oh of realization.

you love a lot of things. you love the crack in the sidewalk that has two pretty flowers sprouting out of it. you love the creak in the 6th step of the stair in your home that only pops out when you’re sneaking out to raid the fridge. you love the fireflies that swarm iwaizumi’s garden at night. they’re all nice things that warm your heart when you see them.

but falling in love with oikawa tooru is different. it's falling head-first in a cliff 50 ft off the ground. it’s plummeting but soaring but never having time to breathe out for a break. it's this and that and always oikawa.

it’s also agreeing to let him fuck your life over the moment you hand your heart over to him.

when he pulls away, you’re oddly breathless, heaving slightly at the loss of his soft lips against yours. you feel stupid for feeling this way—slightly ashamed, too.

but it’s even stranger when you take a look at oikawa.

oikawa, whose pupils are dilated and almost out of it. you almost want to snap your fingers to get him back, but then he pulls himself back into his cheeky composure. almost as if you imagined it.

“that was nice,” you admit shyly.

oikawa stares at your mouth, and you bite them in response, hiding them away. “...yeah, it was,” he says, finally.

you two go back to taping posters on his wall. he lets you handle his favorite jose blanco—signed, mind you—poster, and it leaves you feeling funny to know that you’re important enough to him to trust you with a precious poster and a first kiss.

when iwaizumi comes back, neither of you bring it up, but you feel oikawa’s eyes on you the entire night.

it’s almost like it never happened.

neither of you brought it up. neither of you talked about it. maybe you just dreamt of it? although that seems likely, the only reminder that something happened that night, is oikawa’s lingering stares.

it’s calculative and tentative, like he’s trying to figure out what to do with you. and you’re not sure what to feel about that.

a day before entering high school, oikawa comes over to your house unannounced with a timid knock on the door.

“what the hell are you doing here?”

you welcome him with open arms (on your own terms); because of course. he’s your best friend! (or so you tell yourself. best friends don’t usually kiss each other and have one of the other feel something about it.)

“y/n-chan! good evening to you, too!” oikawa chirps, reaching out to ruffle your hair as he bends down. the movements—slow and dragging slower—almost looks like something out of a shoujo manga where the love interest is about to kiss the protagonist’s forehead.

except your life is not a shoujo manga and oikawa tooru—alleged love interest, you would say, but you’re not a protagonist either—leans away before you could react.

oikawa doesn’t look like he’s dropping off anything, nor does he look like he’s in a hurry, so you give him a once-over, then huff. “let’s go up to my room.”

oikawa whoops as he follows after you, leaving his shoes right next to yours. “haven’t been there in a while!”

“who’s to blame for that?”

“an athlete must practice whenever they can, don’t you know, y/n-chan?”

“mhm.”

despite the truth in his words, oikawa still saunters inside with familiarity, throwing himself over your bed as soon as you slip his jacket off of him.

“what did you want, tooru?” you ask, placidly this time, fond over time. at least, that’s what oikawa should feel. because if you dig deeper than where you should be, you’d find an answer to why y/n is so different around tooru.

and hopefully, oikawa is dumb enough to not roll his sleeves up and look for a shovel.

“hmm,” he says, with a smile that is leaning less from pretty and onto nerve-wracking. “have you kissed anyone this year?”

did he seriously cross the street just to ask that?

you spare him a glance—oikawa tooru, on your bed—and you know oikawa tooru. so you know that oikawa tooru does not have shame and has crossed the street to ask you this question.

you give him a look, one that can only be translated as: seriously? “i’ve spent day and night making sure you and hajime don’t kill yourself practicing; you think i have time for that, ru?”

oikawa smiles, and he looks so pleased when he shouldn’t be. like a big old cat getting what he wants. “yeah, that’s true.”

and he knows it, so why does he bother asking aside from the sole reason of hearing it from you?

oikawa, while you’re contemplating with silence, sits up and leans close to your space, until you can feel his breath on your neck. “y/n-chan, can we kiss again?”

“i—um,” it’s all you can say. “tooru…”

oikawa smiles, and it’s a pretty enough sight to leave you brainless. “i just missed you. and it doesn’t have to mean anything.” he adds it like an afterthought.

you swallow. “okay.”

he brightens. “okay?”

“yeah, it’s— it doesn’t have to mean anything, right?”

oikawa hums, absentmindedly. “of course.”

and then he meets you halfway to kiss you—but this? this is different from the first. this is too different from what you remember, and you remember all of it like it happened yesterday.

this one is more eager, oikawa cupping your cheeks as he happily presses his lips against yours. and you’re too stunned to think of any reason to stop him, so you push back.

one thing you don’t recall is how nice it feels. how perfect it is to have oikawa like this.

though you don’t get to dwell on it much longer, because oikawa pulls away and beams. he thanks you, for whatever reason. and still, you’re in shock to process anything. he starts to say something, babbling about his day, and you wish you could say you know what he’s talking about, but your mind is racing far too fast.

you stare at your trembling hands with a warm face.

the problem is, maybe oikawa’s already halfway done digging.

as years grew, oikawa did, too.

he grew into his sharpness, one that rivaled the glint in his eyes. his jawline is almost terrifying. the way his limbs grew and grew is almost unfair. he's tall, lean, perfect, and made a new image for himself quickly:

oikawa tooru, the high school heartthrob. oikawa tooru, the best setter to ever exist in this prefecture.

he still had the same soft hair that curls right at the edges, the same cheeky smile that would leave his mother or iwaizumi whooping his ass, and the same lilt in his tone whenever he talks to you.

and there's also that you two still kiss behind closed doors.

you don't have a reason to keep this going, not anymore. oikawa didn't have one, too. but neither of you stopped, and neither complained.

he always says he misses you. and he’s your best friend so his happiness is yours.

iwaizumi found out about your little… routine with oikawa, and he didn’t seem surprised, much to your confusion. he only says oikawa is an idiot, and so are you for letting it continue when neither of you have plans on settling.

hajime is right.

hajime told you that if you can, you could make oikawa stop. (hajime is right.)

as years grew, some things change.

but some things don't, like how iwaizumi will always be there to smack the back of oikawa’s head with either his hand or a volleyball. oikawa dislikes both either way. you laugh at both either way.

oikawa dates here and there. sometimes, he’d have a new girl weeks later. but neither you nor iwaizumi mind much; oikawa always makes sure that his time spent with you both stays the same.

though, rumors float sometimes.

he’s never kissed any of them. the girls say, he’s never kissed me, too; he always says to wait until the time is right. i dumped him because of that, too!

that rumor in particular strikes you as odd.

it's not unheard of to not kiss immediately in a relationship. intimacy depends on the type of relationship a couple has, and it's never anyone’s business no matter how long it takes.

it makes you wonder: what the hell is your relationship with tooru?

is your friendship with him that discardable that he wouldn't wait for the ‘right time’ with you? the thought makes you sick with anger and jealousy. but mostly… resignation. because the moment oikawa kissed you, you knew what would happen.

so you don’t really have a right to be upset. first kiss, it’s his fault. the second, third, and the rest that comes after, are yours.

as you’re walking past the stairs of the first floor, a hand shoots out to grab your wrist.

you panic, obviously, but relax when you’re faced with bright brown eyes and an impish smile. he doesn’t close the storage room door, just lets it hang open.

“y/n!” oikawa laughs, and he’s all flushed and sweaty.

“had a good practice?” you muse, pushing bangs out of his face.

“mhm,” he leans into your touch. “you should’ve been there.”

you kiss him first this time, and he loves it.

oikawa broke up with a girl again, and it’s the hot topic of the class today. or maybe it’s because you sit next to aoi, said ex-girlfriend.

you feel slightly unnerved that aoi keeps casting glances at you as if she’s seeing you in a different light. you’ve never spoken to her outside of strict class projects, but now she’s looking at you like you’ve got the answers to her crossword puzzle of the day.

should you feel concerned that oikawa’s ex keeps looking at you? probably.

“hey, y/n.”

you tilt your head to look at the blond waving at you. no one’s been bothered to call you outside of the classroom before. “good morning, iwasaki-san.”

he grins, and it’s too much, a little bit. you wonder where tooru and hajime are. “morning. how are you doing?”

“i’m good, thank you,” you answer politely, albeit a little clipped with confusion. “...you?”

“ah well,” iwasaki rubs the nape of his neck sheepishly. “there’s a new ice cream store on the way here, and i thought you might be interested?”

iwasaki is nice and polite. brown hair and pearly white teeth, he’s surely the kind of boy you’d find yourself falling for had you been best friends with literally anyone else.

“hmm,” you pretend to give it thought, “your treat?”

iwasaki beams, all wide eyes, and wide grins. something about it feels familiar but doesn’t feel quite right. “of course! does that mean— you would want…?”

you shrug, swinging your bag over your shoulder as you slide the door open. iwasaki follows after you like a lost puppy. “sure. my friends have practice so i’d have nothing else to do waiting for them.”

iwasaki opens his mouth to say something.

“oh? y/n-chan!”

you freeze, spinning around to see oikawa waving enthusiastically.

you’ve heard rumors of oikawa’s eyes. in hallways and magazines, it’s pretty enough for you to stare at it longer than you should. in court, it’s deadly enough for the hair on the back of your neck to stand, as if he’s figured out every weakness and how to up their strength with just one look.

being the victim of this intense gaze is… something else.

“tooru,” you greet back with a forced grin. “what’re you doing here? gonna kneel and beg for your ex to take you back?”

oikawa pouts, and those eyes lose intensity. he’s stumbling over to you as he all but drapes himself over you. he’s very heavy and very tall; it does not work well for you.

“y/n-chaaaaan! don’t be mean!”

“ow! you hanger-ass-bitch, get off me!”

“y/n-chaaaaaaan!”

he’s gaining more and more attention as he keeps on whining, and you’re too embarrassed to let it continue.

you pinch his cheek. “shut up, tooru. seriously, what are you doing here?”

“eh?” oikawa blinks, cupping your cheeks with his wide palms. “looking for you, of course! why would you even think otherwise, hm?”

you’re pretty sure your brain is melting off of your ears. “tooru—”

iwasaki—oh fuck you completely forgot he was there—clears his throat. “l/n-san, i have to go, but… the deal’s still up, right?”

“the deal?” oikawa echoes curiously. there’s a hint of something in his tone, and it makes iwasaki shuffle nervously.

“oh! after school, right?”

iwasaki beams. “yes, yeah!”

oikawa leans against you. “y/n-chan, i was looking for you to tell you i don’t have practice today!”

you pause.

that… that was new. this is a big deal, and oikawa knows it; his eyes are twinkling with mischief. he’s up to something. you check his face, his arms, his legs, for any visible injuries, but oikawa looks like he’s fine.

and usually, that means he jumps at the chance to practice. what changed his mind?

“oh,” you mutter. “is everything okay, tooru?”

oikawa smiles, softer now. “of course, y/n-chan! just got out of a break up, is all. wanted to hang out with my best friends.”

you turn to iwasaki, who looks like he’s seen a car crash. “i’m sorry, iwasaki-san. i have a big baby to babysit later. maybe next time?”

iwasaki pales. he’s not looking at you so you’re not sure what he sees. “uhm, okay! i’ll see you around!”

he walks off, gaining pace the moment he turns to a sharp corner. that was odd.

you and oikawa are alone.

you nudge your best friend. “tooru, don’t tell me… you were jealous?”

oikawa splutters, face red and hot. “y/n-chan!”

(he never denied it, now that you look back at it.)

there’s a party, and iwaizumi’s invited.

whoever’s birthday it was, they must know that if you take iwaizumi anywhere, oikawa and y/n are sure to follow. and you three do exactly just that.

it’s a small party, with only a classroom of people inside a large house, enough for it to not feel too suffocating.

you hold both iwaizumi and oikawa’s hand when you enter inside, but matsukawa sweeps him away so it’s kind of pointless.

others try to get oikawa, too, but those two made a promise to not leave you alone. with iwaizumi in the kitchen surrounded by people, oikawa is firmly planted against your side.

oikawa is acting strange, you notice.

ever since that interaction with iwasaki, he hasn’t accepted any confession nor went on any dates. of course, it could be because he got really busy.

but that doesn’t explain why he stopped kissing you.

“hey! hey! l/n, oikawa!”

you pair turn to see the birthday boy, hanamaki, waving. you know he’s a teammate of theirs, but you’ve never actually met him before.

hastily, you bow. “happy birthday, hanamaki-kun!” you greet before you forget your manners. “sorry for tagging along without an invitation.”

hanamaki blushes for some reason. maybe he’s tipsy. “er. no, it’s fine. i was expecting you two to come along, it’s why i invited him, you know.”

“makki,” oikawa says in a dangerous tone you’ve never heard before. he grins, but it’s a different one. “did you get ny gift?”

hanamaki’s face blooms into an uncharacteristic beam. “yeah! you’re the best, captain. i didn’t even know you knew i was waiting for that version to come out.”

you have no idea what the hell they’re talking about.

oikawa hums, pleased. “only the best for my team, of course!” he nudges you, bringing you back in the conversation. “and the bestest for my y/n-chan!”

it sounds strange for an outsider, you can tell by the way hanamaki is eyeing you two thoughtfully. but to you, this is nothing out of the ordinary.

you laugh. “it’s not my birthday celebration yet, tooru. you’ll have to wait for that ‘til you spoil me.”

the party continues, and you’re given a drink, despite oikawa and iwaizumi’s protests. you urged them not to worry about leaving you alone, which led to this girl cooing over you looking out of place, and handing you drinks to loosen up. she probably mentioned her name, but with the dizzying fog in your brain, you can’t remember.

“hey…” the mystery girl whispers. she looks like hanamaki. does hanamaki have a sister? “i think your boyfriend is looking for you.”

“tooru?” you don’t know why you said that out loud, but you did. “wait—i don’t, hah, i don’t have a boyfriend, silly!”

she points at a tall, familiar brunet whipping his head around all over and visibly freaking out in the living room.

oh, it is tooru.

with a lazy wave at hanamaki’s sister, you—with great effort, might you add—clump your way to the living room, occasionally hitting someone’s shoulder without meaning to. oh, wow, the floor looks funny. and too bright.

you bump your face into someone’s chest.

strong arms wrap around you in an instant, hot breath fanning your face.

“y/n, are you drunk?” that sounds like oikawa. you look up, and meet yourself with a pretty boy. “y/n-chan, i thought you didn’t want to drink tonight…”

you grin and poke oikawa’s nose. “i’m not that drunk, ru.”

oikawa sighs. “i guess i shouldn’t drink anything, too.” he pats your head, smiling fondly. “we’re going home early, okay?”

“you don’t have to take care of me,” you whisper, suddenly guilty.

he shakes his head. “y/n, i’d rather have iwa-chan give me a concussion with a volleyball than not take you home tonight. agree for my sake.”

oikawa grins and pulls you to him to kiss your forehead. the warmth planted on that particular spot makes you feel a little giddy, a little lightheaded. in any other circumstances, you would’ve laughed and told him to fuck off.

but because you’re drunk, you have no filter.

“tooru, why do you still kiss me?”

oikawa hums lowly, patting your head. “do you not like it, y/n-chan?”

“i… i don’t mind it. ‘m just confused why you—why you still want to do it with me.”

“…because i love you,” he admits, as low as a whisper—only a secret shared with the wind.

you giggle; you’re definitely out of it. “don’t say that, tooru!”

oikawa smiles at your laugh but it drops into confusion. “why not?”

“because you don’t mean it—not like that.”

“what makes you think i don’t mean it like that?”

you huff a bitter laugh. “you don’t show it, silly.”

oikawa is quiet for the rest of the night.

you thought it’d be kinda awkward to wake up for school tomorrow and see iwaizumi and oikawa first thing in the morning.

but you were wrong. because it is extremely fucking awkward sliding the door open to see only oikawa first thing in the morning.

“tooru!” you exclaim, though it comes out more as a surprised squeak.

oikawa smiles, and it’s always so pretty and so infuriatingly attractive. “y/n-chan, good morning!”

do you remember it, too, tooru?

“where’s—hajime?” you make a point of scanning the area; or maybe it’s only to avoid his eyes.

he shakes his head. “iwa-chan has a hangover. so we’ll get him later once he finishes being gross and puking out meals he’s had his entire life.” and to add to it, “oh, and i think iwa-chan is mad at me for letting you drink. and for not reminding him to drink water.”

do you remember what you said?

you chuckle. “that’s because you were just taking care of me instead of the both of us.”

“iwa-chan is a big boy! he can handle himself!”

“and i can’t?”

oikawa smiles softly and tugs you closer to kiss your forehead. “i’d rather have iwa-chan give me a concussion with a volleyball than know i wasn’t able to take care of you when i could’ve.”

your eyes widen. he remembers. “ah. this is embarrassing…”

“so you remember it, too?”

“every word, unfortunately. turns out i wasn’t as drunk as i thought.” you push past him to walk away and fast, unwilling to see his reaction.

oikawa laughs and it barely takes a second for his long, athletic legs to catch up. his eyes fixes up at the sky—if only you would glance at him you could see how nervous he looks.

“you know, y/n-chan, i thought i was crazy.”

“…w-what?”

“i kissed someone else a week later our third kiss,” he says, watching your expression closely. “and it was weird—because the first and only thing i thought about is how it doesn’t feel as good as all our kisses.”

with him so close like this, you should be used to it, right?

no. your heart still pounds, your face still heats up, and you still lose the ability to think of any reply.

even without a response, oikawa continues. “i thought it was because i was still thinking of my first kiss and it blinded me. but i dated, and i dated, and i dated—none of them made me feel anything. you know that, y/n-chan?”

you’re sure you’re gaping at him. “no! no—no i didn’t, what are you—”

“because the entire time i was with them, i just kept thinking of something you have that they don’t.”

there’s something sharp and determined in his gaze. he’s begging you to do something—rather, say something.

“what is it?”

“that i’m in love with you.”

it’s different when you’re in love with your best friend and he’s in love with you, too.

haikyuu taglist [ @crystal-lilac ]

[starlightsearches]

I just need you to know that I have been thinking of Mix Tape nonstop ever since you posted it. The way that you write Eddie is *chefs kiss* and the stupidly cute mutual pining is everything. I love them and I am begging (in your own time and if you feel up to it at any point) for more to this story.

Mixtape pt. 2

part one here

I am so glad that you're obsessed with them because I am obsessed with them, too. I actually cried a little writing some of this :') I hope it lives up to the first part 💖

Comments, likes, and reblogs are always appreciated 🥰

Eddie Munson x Reader

Warnings: the last part wasn't gendered, but the reader is jokingly referred to as Eddie's girlfriend in this one. No pronouns. Some angst but a very happy ending, lots of music references, language, and I'm very sorry if anyone feels I've misinterpreted the lyrics to Dio's Rainbow in the Dark 😬

You're still turning the little black button in your fingers when the bell above the door rings. The shelves are pretty tall between the entrance and where you stand, but you'd recognize the bright blue brim of that thinking cap anywhere.

"Hey Dustin," you can't help but smile at him as he appears, no matter how shitty you feel. He's a sweet kid, and his presence had grown on you—almost as much as Eddie's has. You were surprised to learn they were friends, at first—until you found out that Eddie spent most of his paychecks on new D&D manuals and that Dustin had the mouth of a sailor.

"Hey," he smiles back—a nice, big smile that makes his eyes go squinty—drumming his fingers on the counter, "is Eddie here?"

You feel your own smile falter, glancing back over your shoulder so he wouldn't notice. "Yeah, just in the back, I think."

You know that's where he is. You've been hiding from each other for the past hour.

Dustin nods, already familiar with the store layout even if the door to the back wasn't clearly labeled employees only. Eddie's voice reaches you through the opening Dustin leaves when he enters.

"Henderson! The fuck are you doing here?"

He sounds just like he always does—a thin veil of sarcasm doing nothing to hide the fact that he's happy to see Dustin. You can picture their greeting well enough, their clasped palms, Eddie's sweet smile.

Dustin responds in the same snarky tone. "Your girlfriend let me back."

That catches your attention. You reach for the dial on the radio beside you, turning the volume down as low as you could manage without attracting their notice, hoping to catch more of their conversation.

Too bad for you. There's no more words spoken between them; all you hear is a harsh shhh, and then some footsteps, followed by the sound of the door latching shut.

And then silence.

Your mind buzzes. Your girlfriend. Dustin had called you Eddie's girlfriend.

You do your best to temper the nerves in your stomach—he might just be making fun of you, teasing Eddie about your obsessive crush. Maybe Eddie was embarrassed, and he'd shut the door, hoping you wouldn't hear him and get any crazy ideas. Maybe he and Henderson were stifling their laughs right now, choked up about how gullible you could be.

There's only one way to find out.

Getting caught listening outside the door would be mortifying—like change your name and leave the state mortifying—so you grab the feather duster from beneath the counter and made your way to the back shelves.

It's quieter here, out of range of the radio speakers and further from the street entrance and the occasional roar of passing cars. There's always a lull around this time of day; it's just you and the deep rumble of Eddie's voice, muffled behind the wall.

You don't let yourself breathe, barely brushing the duster over the shelves, just to be sure it won't make any noise. It takes a moment for your ears to adjust, but you manage to piece together a few of the words he's saying.

Thought. Me. Never. Hasn't. None of them make any sense, not until the last.

Mixtape.

There was no avoiding it anymore. If you wanted any answers, you'd have to listen.

Your bag is behind the counter, and you rush back to it, digging through its depths until your fingers wrap around the cassette player.

His tape is still in there, even if you couldn't listen—carrying it around felt like you were keeping a piece of Eddie with you. Maybe the only piece you'd ever have. You'd spent plenty of time turning the tape in your fingers, tracing the shape of Eddie's messy scrawl on the label—your name, written in permanent marker.

You slip the headphones around your neck with shaking hands and a deep breath, popping one of the speakers over your ear and leaving the other free in case somebody walked in.

The tape whirs to life, putting you back where you'd last left off—about twenty seconds into the opening track. Immigrant Song by Led Zeppelin.

It was one of the first songs you and Eddie had in common.

It had been maybe your second or third shift together. You'd been humming along at the register while he restocked some of the shelves, watching him warily. It was easy to feel intimidated by Eddie—he made sure of that with the way he dressed. Beyond showing him around the stock room and letting him know when you were going to take lunch, you'd hardly said three words to him. But you'd looked at him a lot.

You can still picture the way he'd leaned over the counter, with his shirt just riding up over the hem of his jeans, twisting the dial up with his long, slender fingers. Can still see the way he'd glanced up at you with his big, brown eyes, his mouth turned up at the corner.

"I love this song."

It was the first thing you could think to say, stunned stupid under his gaze. His smile grew wider, his head nodding in approval. When he winked at you, your heart raced.

"You have good taste."

The encounter had stayed on your mind for weeks after.

You press on the fast-forward button until it clicks, letting the tape wind past the song and its familiar melody. It's an hour and a half long tape, and you don't have time to listen to all of it, on a mission to find the one he'd said reminded him of you—the one about the rainbow in the dark.

You let it play every few minutes, and you recognize most of the songs—impromptu concerts you'd put on together in between customers, songs you'd argued bitterly over for weeks on end. You actually laugh out loud when you turn the tape and hear the opening chords to Wham!'s Heartbeat, thinking about the way he'd gotten on his knees, begging you to switch the station whenever it came on.

Your palms grow slick the closer you get to the end. Not a single song has even mentioned rainbows. Heart sinking, you just catch the ending of The Promise, and you wait for the familiar click signifying that the tape has ended. Instead you're met with a flood of guitar.

The new melody washes over you—stronger than you'd expected—and you slip the other headphone over your ear, ready to get lost in it.

It has to be this one. It has to be.

The lyrics aren't what you'd thought—or hoped—they would be. Nothing overly romantic. No I love yous or you complete mes. It's somber, really—all about what it feels like to be alone, without hope. No sign of the morning coming. No light at all.

. . . except the rainbow in the dark.

Oh.

You play it again, and again, listening closely to the lyrics, letting the notes twine through your fingers and the guitar shake your soul. When you go to swipe the headphones down around your neck, you find tears on your cheek.

It was a love song. All of them were. They were love songs because he loved them. They were love songs because he wanted to give them to you.

It was so easy to imagine him sat intently by his radio or with his boom box, waiting for each song to come on and sorting through tape after tape, hardly moving when it recorded so the audio could stay pure. How he'd picked each of these songs and remembered you, thought of you, dreamed of you. With every song he'd found and recorded, the words were repeated. I love you. I love you. I love you.

Eddie loved you.

You stand abruptly, throwing the cassette player to the table and ripping the mixtape from inside, running because you have to let him know that you love him, too.

The door flies open and you find Eddie pacing, Dustin sat on the step stool.

With one look at your tear stained face, Eddie's on Dustin, gripping him hard by the shoulder and forcing him out of the door.

"Out."

You hear him pushing Dustin towards the front despite the boy's high-pitched protests. The bell rings, and then Eddie's back, quicker than you thought possible.

He meets you with a few quick strides—immediately kicked into protective overdrive, stroking a soothing pattern over your skin with his thumbs, warm hands cupped around your arms and his eyes heavy with worry.

"Hey, baby, what happened? Did the creep come back? Because I've been telling you you don't have to talk to him anymore, okay? I can take care of it—"

You shake your head, forcing his silence. "It's not that."

He spies the cassette in your outstretched hands, and recognition dawns, his cheeks flushing pink.

"Oh."

That's all he can say.

You're both motionless in the silence, staring into each other's eyes, and you try to form your mouth around the words you've been wanting to say for way too long.

The only one's you manage are: "I didn't know."

There's relief in the grin he gives you, in the laugh that follows, and it breaks across his face like sunshine when he pulls you closer and you don't pull away.

"You didn't know," he repeats, staring up at the ceiling with a incredulous laugh, "honey, I thought I was being obvious."

And you're laughing, too, high-pitched and breathless, drunk on this feeling of his hands and his voice and his laugh. Your voice is small when you tell him the truth.

"I thought you were making fun of me."

Eddie's eyes go wide, his fingers inching forward, wrapping around your waist.

"About this, baby? Never. About your taste in music, though—"

You scoff in fake offense, rolling your eyes, but nothing sticks when you're feeling this happy. "Shut up."

You slap him on the shoulder just looking for an excuse to touch him. He traps your hand in his, pulling it to his heart, its beat under your fingers as familiar as your favorite song.

"How about you make me?"

Yeah, you can do that.

You press up onto your tiptoes, catching his lips against yours, and he kisses you back, bowing your spine under the weight of his insistence, one arm snaking around you, holding you close. He kisses you long, and soft, and deep—making up for lost time—the mixtape trapped between you.

[lady-lostmind]

Ride Home

for Stobin Month prompt: Rain

Thank you @oh-stars for betaing this!

WC: 657 | Rating: T

ao3 link

Steve pulls up outside of Family Video, rain pouring down and thunder sounding out loudly every couple of seconds. He gets out, popping an umbrella open and hurrying to the door, pulling on the handle only for it to clang against the lock. Steve pounds on the door until he sees Robin’s head peek out from between the shelves, her face scrunching in confusion. She rushes over to the door and unlocks it. Steve ducks inside, shaking the excess water off his umbrella before he shuts the door and leans it against the wall. 

Steve glances at his watch and tsks. “Don’t think you’re supposed to lock this door for another fifteen minutes, Miss Buckley. What do you have to say for yourself?” 

Robin rolls her eyes and swats Steve’s arm, turning to head back to her abandoned return cart. “What are you doing here? I thought you had some big date night planned with Eddie.” 

Steve shrugs. “Yeah but, aren’t your parents out of town?”

Robin nods. “Til Tuesday, yeah.”

Steve gestures to the windows at the front of the store, water rushing down them. “Okay so…I came to give you a ride home. It’s fucking pouring outside.” 

Robin stops what she’s doing, setting the tapes in her hands down. “Steve! I was going to just call Nance or Jonathan. What did you do, leave Eddie in the middle of dinner?” 

Steve’s face flushes and he looks down at his feet. “I mean. I told him I’d be back!” 

Robin gasps. “STEVEN! You’ve been waiting for this for like ever. You can not fuck this up because of me!” 

“What was I supposed to do, let you walk home in a storm?” Steve puts his hands on his hips. 

Robin sighs and comes to pull him into a hug. “Steve. I love you and you are amazing for doing this. But you are an absolute dingus. You’re lucky Eddie is head over fucking heels for you because anyone else would drop your ass for this.” 

Steve huffs out a laugh. “Eddie likes my ass too much to drop it.” 

Robin’s face scrunches in disgust. “Ew. Don’t talk about your ass to me.”

Steve nudges her away, grabbing a couple tapes off the cart to help her finish up quicker. “You brought up my ass.” 

Robin scoffs. “In reference to you like, as a whole. Not as its own entity.”

Steve’s brow cinches together. “Why does my ass offend you? I have a nice ass. I think you can objectively agree that my ass is nice. And that Eddie should like it since we’re dating now.” 

Robin shakes her head. “I have no opinions about your ass. Or what Eddie does or doesn’t want to do to it.”

Steve rolls his eyes. “I didn’t say anything about doing butt stuff with Eddie. This is literally our first date.”

Robin snorts. “Right because that ever stopped you before.”

Steve gasps, smacking her arm with the tape in his hand. “I have never done butt stuff on a first date. That’s at least third date territory.”

A squawk comes from the end of the aisle and they both freeze to look over at a sopping wet Eddie staring at them with his mouth dropped open. “Uh– I just uh– I realized I should have just come with you. Because we’re on a date. And I also want Robin to get home safe. And I just drove over here, which I now realize means I can’t really go with you anyway unless I leave the van here. But I’m here now. And the door was open. And I–” His eyes flash up to meet Steve’s eyes, cheeks blazing. “Uh– I think a third date sounds great. For the record.”

A cocky grin pulls across Steve’s mouth and Robin gags, shoving a stack of tapes in Eddie’s hands. “Here go put these back so I can get away from you two.”

Stobin month prompt list by @lavenderstobins

[theshippirate22]

All Too Well (Steddie Version)

part 4! part 1 part 2 part 3

or read it on ao3!

“Hi!” Robin shrieked, throwing her arms around him and yanking him into her. “Happy birthday!”

“Hey, Robs. Thanks.” Steve murmured, smirking fondly. “Don’t raise your voice too much, I don’t want Keith to hear.”

She laughed, glancing around the empty video store to ensure she hadn’t betrayed him- she hadn’t; Keith was in the back room- and then climbed up on the counter to sort a stack of tapes whoever had closed the night before had left. “Sooooo.... 21, huh? Big year, exciting times. You can drink now!” She lowered her voice to a comical stage whisper. “Because the Steve Harrington I know would never drink underage!”

He chuckled, sitting on the floor under the counter to rewind the tapes left there. “Yeah, I think it’ll be good. I don’t know, I mean it can’t be any worse than being fifteen, right? Nothing’s worse than being fifteen.”

“Yeah, have you talked to Dustin lately? He’ll tell you the same thing.” She kicked her legs impatiently, grinning and quickly switching subjects. “I wasn’t supposed to tell you, but I’m really excited. We bought you a cake. We’re gonna go over to Eddie’s tonight to eat it and throw you a little party. Don’t tell Nancy I told you, though, or she won’t let me help with anything ever again.”

He laughed. “I won’t. Thanks for the heads up.”

The shift was slow, even with Robin telling everyone who came through the doors, “This is Steve, it’s his birthday,” and the massive shipment of new arrivals that came in a few hours later and ate up a lot of time. 

Eventually, Keith got sick of them, mostly Robin, whose excitement was not easily contained, and kicked them out a couple hours early. That only made Robin absolutely ecstatic. 

“This is perfect! We’ve got to get you an outfit and make a mixtape and I’ve gotta do my makeup.”

“What do I need an outfit for? We’re just going to Eddie’s trailer. Who’s... who’s going to be there?”

“Exactly!” Robin raised her eyebrows suggestively. “Eddie’s gonna be there.”

“Yeah, it’s his house, Rob.” He could feel his face getting hot. Had she figured them out? Did she know? They’d been so careful...

“Oh, come on. I’m not stupid. We’ve had to sit there for months while you made eyes at each other and it’s time for you to make a move before I lose my mind. But you can’t do it wearing that.”

Steve let out a breath, realizing she didn’t know, she just thought they liked each other. Which they did, but... she didn’t need to know that when he’d gotten up for work, Eddie had been in his bed, wearing his clothes and kissing his hands, half-asleep, as Steve tried to free himself from the sheets. 

He got washed over with a sudden wave of guilt, that he was keeping this from her, his very best friend, especially when he knew it was safe with her, because even if she couldn’t keep her mouth shut about anything, she had kept herself a secret from everyone, and this was the exact same thing. Eddie had been so adamant about it though. 

“We can’t tell anyone.”

He glanced over at her in the passenger seat, almost trembling with delight, and said, “Well, if tonight’s the night, you better make me look real good.”

Robin was already fishing her eyeliner out of her bag, and just the thought of what Eddie would do seeing him in it was sending heat up to Steve’s ears.

About six and a half outfits, a quarter tube of eyeliner, and at least four Madonna tapes later, Robin was squeezing his arms delightedly from where she peered over his shoulder to look at him in the mirror. “Christ, dingus.”

Steve grinned, laughing at his own reflection. She’d managed to scrounge up the least Him outfit she could find in his closet, digging out the leather pants he’d tried to hide at least two summers ago. She fussed with the hem of his white button-down, trying to decide if it looked better tucked in or not, decided that it did, but only if his sleeves were rolled up to just below his elbows. 

The eyeliner was his favorite though, because it changed the whole look of his eyes and damn, he looked pretty. Hopefully they could get the girls out of there fast, because Eddie would have a hard time keeping his hands off him.

Nancy was already at the trailer, her car pulled off into the dirt, but Eddie’s van wasn’t there. Abnormal, but Steve didn’t draw any attention to it. Maybe he’d just pulled off to the back because he was expecting people. 

Steve, however, did not expect his kids all to be crowded within the trailer as well. There was a general scream from all of them as Robin pulled him in and they all had a hug and a “happy birthday!” to offer him. 

He glanced around for Eddie, wanting to find him, to see his reaction to his outfit, but he didn’t find him. Instead, he got Nancy’s startled laugh. “Steve, what are you wearing?”

He chuckled, waving vaguely in Robin’s direction, and Nancy laughed again when she understood. 

“Happy birthday. You look good.”

“Thanks.” He didn’t want to ask. He was glad they were all here for him, and it had been such a long time since he’d felt so loved, but... where the hell was Eddie?

“Oh!” Nancy frowned. “Max wanted to be here, but she got sick this morning and had to go home from school and everything, so we thought it was better she stayed in bed.”

“Oh, damn. That sucks. I hope she’s okay.” Now he felt like shit because he hadn’t even realized she was missing. “I’ll go check on her tomorrow.”

“Hey!” Robin called, pushing past them into the kitchen. “Oh hi, Nance! I wanna look at the cake.” She slid open the big white box on the counter, and grinned.

Steve followed after her, looking over her shoulder at the thick chocolate cake with red icing spelling out his name. “Oh God, Nance, you outdid yourself.”

 “Joyce and Hopper paid for it. Said you deserved it for driving their kids everywhere.” Nancy waved it off. “Should we cut it?”

“Yes!” Robin went around the counter, opening drawers and cabinets to find a knife and coming up empty every time. “God, where is anything in this house? Hey, shitheads! Come in here, we’re gonna sing! Eddie, where do you keep the-”

Steve handed her a knife- they were in the drawer by the oven; she didn’t seem to notice that he had known.

“Oh! Thanks. Where’s Eddie?” She didn’t wait for an answer, instead turning back to Nancy. “Where’s Eddie? Don’t tell me I wasted my expensive eyeliner!”

“He called a little while ago. There was an emergency at work and he had to stay late, but everything was fine and he said to start without him.”

“What?...” Steve mumbled, even though it was lost to the noise of the kids. Disappointment clung heavily to the inside of his stomach. He was so excited... 

Maybe it was really an emergency, like a desperate thing, and he just had to wrap some things up and then he would be right over and everything could be exactly like Steve was planning just delayed a little. He didn’t need to worry. 

Eddie would be right over.

“Wait!” Dustin yelled. “We have to have candles! Come on, guys. You never planned a birthday party before?”

“Oh, shut up, Henderson. Or we’re not inviting you next year.” Nancy pulled the package of red and blue striped candles from her coat pocket, folding the cardboard to break it up and spill the contents out on the counter. 

The girls, starting on opposite ends of the cake, started to stick in twenty one candles. Nancy’s were in two nice rows of five, Robin’s were not, but somehow it ended up with ten on both sides and one smack dab in the center. 

Steve fished his cigarette lighter from his pocket and Robin plucked it from his hands and started to light them all. Eventually, the whole cake looked like it was on fire and the whole kitchen was glowing. Someone, probably Mike, reached over and smacked off the light. 

“Alright, ready, on three,” Robin promted. “One... two... three...”

All of them burst into song, mostly out of tune and at wildly different volumes and Steve laughed and laughed. Robin leaned against his shoulder as everyone clapped and he quickly tried to blow out all the candles. It took a couple of breaths to get them all and everybody clapped and cheered again.

Robin roped her arms around his waist and Nancy around his stomach a little higher up and he kissed the top of both their heads. 

Cake was doled out on paper plates and for a second all of the kids, even Dustin, were quiet as they downed it. 

Wayne got home after about an hour, silently acknowledging the kids as he made his way into the kitchen to wash the dirt from his hands. 

Steve looked up eagerly from where he sat on the counter, but his shoulders slumped when he saw it wasn’t Eddie. 

“Happy birthday, kid.”

“Thanks.” Steve tugged on his neck uncomfortably. “Sorry, I thought Eddie would be home by now or else I would’ve taken the kids to my place. I can-”

“Eddie isn’t home?” He shut off the tap quickly and turned around to look at him. 

“No, he, uh, had to stay late at work.”

Wayne shot him a puzzled, skeptical look and Steve sighed in agreement. “Yeah. Yeah, I don’t know.” Steve shrugged to convince himself he didn’t care. “Let me have the kids clean up and we can get out of here. Sorry.”

“No, you’re good, kid. You know you’re welcome. Doesn’t bother me any.”

“Really? Thanks, Wayne. Want some cake?”

“Hell yeah.” 

Steve laughed, swinging his legs around the edge of the peninsula to reach the box. He cut a decent sized piece and slid it across the counter. 

Wayne took it, waving vaguely at him and disappeared in the direction of his room. 

Robin, coming back for another slice, lowered her voice. “You’re on a first-name basis with Eddie’s uncle?”

I’m sleeping with his nephew, Steve thought, but all that came out was, “It’s a long story.”

Time just kept creeping on and on and on. Eventually, Karen Wheeler came and got all the kids and they took the noise with them, even though that was 90% of what was helping Steve keep his sanity.

Now, he sat anxiously at the kitchen table, trying so hard to listen to the girls’ conversation about... actually, he didn’t even know what they were talking about anymore. He tried not to watch the door, but he did, staring at it, looking away, just for his eyes to dart back. He couldn’t stop, because he felt like if he looked hard enough, he could will Eddie to show up and take him back to his house and everything would be fine. 

But eventually even the girls were done, Robin pulling out her updo and letting the creased hair fall back down around her face. 

She stood up, hugging him from behind around the neck. “Happy birthday, dingus.”

He leaned his head back to look at her. “Thanks for this. All of this. Both of you.” He looked back at Nancy. “Best birthday in a long time.”

It wasn’t a lie, but he still felt slightly miserable. Would’ve been better with Eddie. 

“See you later.” They called, laughing and disappearing out the door, taking the last of the noise.

Steve sat in silence for a long time. He got up, pulled the rest of the cake over to the table and ate it straight from the box with a plastic fork. 

Eddie had to be close. It had been hours. 

He leaned against the arm of the couch, tentatively taking the phone from where it rested against the wall and slowly dialed the garage’s number. 

“Hawkins Auto Repair. This is Sam.”

“Hi, uh...” Steve hated himself. He felt clingy and awkward. “Is Eddie there? I just wanted to see when he was planning on coming home...”

“Oh... uh... just sec.” Sam moved the phone from his mouth and yelled, “Hey! Is Eddie still here? I thought he left.”

Somebody yelled back something incoherent to Steve and Sam relayed, “He ain’t here. Left when he usually does, little after four.”

“Oh.” Everything in Steve came crashing down. He wasn’t there. He’d lied to them. To Steve. And where was he now, what was he doing...?

“Hey, you alright?”

“Uh, yeah. Thanks.” Steve fumbled to get the phone in the base. He was shaking. Eddie had lied. People only lied when they were doing something they weren’t supposed to, so where the hell was he? 

There was a very obvious answer, and as much as Steve didn’t want to think about it, it was all he could seem to make coherent. Surely Eddie wasn’t... with someone. Not on his birthday. That... that didn’t make sense. He wouldn’t. 

Steve collapsed back into his chair. Had Eddie hurt himself? Did Steve need to go find him? Had he forgotten about the party? Or was he somewhere, with someone...

No. 

Eddie wouldn’t. 

He was projecting because of what had happened with Nancy. This wasn’t the same thing; Eddie wasn’t the same person. 

“You alright, kid?” Wayne had been in and out all night, and of course had to find Steve having a freak out.

“Yeah, ‘m fine. I’m gonna go, I gotta get home. Thanks for everything. I really appreciate it.” He folded up the cake box and picked it up. “Sorry to stay so late.”

“Aren’t you gonna wait for Eddie?”

“I... I-I, uh, no. I just gotta go. He can call me tomorrow.”

“Look, I don’t know what the hell he’s doing, but I’m sorry.” Wayne crossed his arms. 

Steve knew that was supposed to make him feel better, but if anything, it just promoted his worst-case scenario and he felt absolutely sick. “Uh, thanks, I guess...”

“It’s supposed to be fun, turning twenty-one.”

Steve should’ve said something more, should’ve thanked him again or maybe apologized some more, but instead he just... walked out. Threw the cake on the passenger seat of his car and reached into the glove compartment for the pack of cigarettes he kept there for emergencies. It had been a long time since he’d needed one and they were cold from the air trapped in the car.

He sat in the driver’s seat with the door open and smoked, trying not to think at all. 

He didn’t even hear the van, but maybe if he had, he would’ve had more time to prepare. Could’ve come up with something to say, could’ve built up the nerve to confront him. 

“Hey!” Eddie leaned against the open door, grinning down at him. “You look hot.”

Steve took a long drag and let out a smokey breath. 

“Did everybody leave already?”

He still didn’t answer. He felt like if he talked, he would just start to cry, and he didn’t want to do that. 

“Hey, I’m... I’m sorry.” Eddie dropped all the mirth from his voice and his countenance. “I wanted to be here, I just... there was an emergency-”

“I don’t really want to talk about it.” He knew it was a stupid idea, but maybe if they didn’t talk about it, Eddie wouldn’t have to lie to him anymore and they could just pretend it didn’t happen at all. 

“Oh.” Eddie looked at him worriedly, and Steve didn’t do anything. “Okay... well... do you wanna come inside and we can...?”

“No, I’m pretty tired. I’m just gonna go home.”

“You could sleep here, though, so I can see you...”

“I just wanna go home.”

“Oh.” His voice did something unnatural, like it was trying to stop itself from sounding disappointed while simultaneously not trying at all. “Are you sure?”

Steve dropped the end of the cigarette into the gravel and stomped it out with his shoe. He pulled his feet inside the car and squinted up in the dark at Eddie. “Don’t...”

Eddie raised his eyebrows hopefully, like Steve’s next words were going to be “Don’t let me go,” or something. 

“Don’t follow me. Please.” Steve muttered, reaching for the door. 

“Wait. Hey, wait, let’s talk about this. Let me explain.” His voice went muffled through the sound of the door slamming. “Steve, stop it. Let’s talk. Come inside, let me hold you. Let me make it up to you. Steve! Come on, talk to me! STEVE!”

Steve couldn’t even hear it. He just started the car and backed out and drove home.

Half a pack before 9 a.m. That had to be some kind of record. 

He felt sick. A million things could’ve changed that night. Anything could’ve been different and the whole thing might have been changed. 

Maybe he should’ve listened to him. Let him take him inside and love him, make him feel better, stop the doubt before it took over him. But he didn’t, he just... left. Ran away.

Eddie even tried to bring it up a couple times later, but Steve always shut down whenever he brought it up. A couple times he even just got up and left. 

Everything had gone down from there until it had just... fallen apart entirely. And maybe, if Steve hadn’t been so childish, or stupid, or clingy... it wouldn’t have.

He hated that. He hated himself. 

“Come on, aren’t you any fun?” 

Steve hadn’t even realized someone was sitting in his lap, and he blinked deliberately a few times to clear away the haze. “Eds?”

A giggle, too high and shrill. Eddie didn’t giggle. 

Steve grimaced. 

Fingers traced up his throat, long manicured nails dragging along his skin. One hand grabbed his thigh. He cried out, inciting another giggle, and removed the hand from his leg. Where the hell was he again?

Music was pounding through the floor and up into his head, and his whole body felt weird, aching, like when you stub your toe and you’re waiting for it to start hurting but it isn’t quite yet. He rubbed uncomfortably at his forehead to try and make the throbbing go away. 

“Drink’s right here, baby.” The cold glass bottle was forced back into his hands, and he took it without knowing why. 

God, please let it be water. He swallowed the rest of the bottle. Definitely not water. Was he drunk? No, he hadn’t been drunk for a long time. Eddie always took such good care of him.

Where’s Eddie?

“I gotta... I... gotta find... gotta... Eddie...” Why weren’t his words working? Why did his head feel so weird?

Hands on his neck. Pulling him forward, closer to the girl in his lap. Had to be a girl; too small to be Eddie. Not Nancy either though... did he even know any other girls?...

“Aren’t you pretty?” growled in his ear, hot breath covering the side of his face. He felt sick and dirty and awful. Where the hell was Eddie?

Fast, thoughtless, messy kisses against his face, trying to reach his lips but not quite making it. She didn’t love him, she didn’t care. She just thought he was hot, wanted him to take her home. She didn’t love him. 

Where was Eddie? Was he across the room letting some girl do the same thing to him? She didn’t love him either, not like Steve did... Did it even matter? 

Steve felt like crying. Maybe he was. He couldn’t seem to control anything. Eddie was here, with him, at this stupid party and he wasn’t even by him. He was probably upstairs pressed against the wall or with some chick pulling at his belt. Maybe it was the girl he’d been with on his birthday. God, Steve wanted to die. 

He leaned into the kisses, forcing her to make it to his mouth. God, love me, he begged, Tell me I’m pretty, tell me you love me.

“Hey! Hey, alright, get off of him.” The weight pulled off his lap and rough hands on his shoulders yanked him to his feet. “Come on.”

“Eddie...” He mumbled, tripping after him. The grip on his wrist was so tight and uncomfortable, it didn’t even feel like Eddie’s hand. 

Eddie let go of him and shoved him into the bathroom, slamming the door behind them and muffling the noise so they could actually hear each other. “What the hell are you doing?!”

“It’s fine...” Steve muttered, words slurring and tripping over each other. “She was fine... I was fine.”

“I wasn’t! I’m not out making out with whoever I can find, because we’re... we’re...”

“What?” Steve rolled his eyes. “It's not like we’re ‘n love or something. It doesn’t even matter.”

“We’re... we’re not?” Eddie stared at him, color draining from his face. “We’re not in love?”

“No!” He scoffed, throwing his hands incredulously. “You’ve never said it.”

“Neither have you! I... I just thought we didn’t need to... I... Steve...” He reached for him almost, to pull him into him or something but decided against it and just pushed Steve’s sweaty hair from his face. “You don’t love me?”

“Don’t touch me.” Steve swatted him away, finishing the job of getting his hair out of his face. 

“You don’t love me?” Eddie asked again, almost desperate for an answer, and the déjà vu of it hit Steve so hard he got dizzy. 

“It’s bullshit.”

Eddie looked like he was going to pass out. He let out a hard breath, dragging his hands down his face and muttering again and again, “What?... You’re drunk, Steve. You’re drunk...”

“I don’t want to be with you anymore.” Steve spat, feeling the tears press on his eyes again. He refused to cry; he wasn't going to be a little bitch this time. “I’m so fucking sick of being another one of your hook-ups. I hate you. I fucking hate me.”

“Another hook-up? What the hell are you talking about? We’ve been exclusive for months!”

“Oh!” Steve laughed without humor. “Oh, have we? I guess you didn’t get the memo.”

“What the HELL are you talking about? Are you... Do you think I’ve been cheating on you? Is that what this is?”

“I don’t thin-I know you are! Where were you on my birthday?” The words were spilling out of him, and he couldn’t stop them even if he wanted to.

“Oh, we’re allowed to talk about this now?” Eddie threw his hands up exasperatedly. “You’re going to storm out the second I bring it up like you did the last six times?”

“Where were you on my birthday?” Steve demanded again, growing impatient. His fists were getting tight; the adrenaline was getting him ready for a real fight, like had happened every time before.

“How many times do I have to tell you? I was at work-”

“Don’t you dare lie to me again! I called the garage; I know you weren’t there!”

“You called the garage?!” His hands were shaking, and his jaw was set tight to keep himself contained. “Steve, what the actual hell is wrong with you? You checked up on me? You didn’t trust me?”

“I just called to see when you’d be home and they told me you weren’t there. Don’t yell at me because now everyone knows you’re a liar. Where were you?! Were you with someone?!”

“Yes!”

Eddie’s eyes got wide, and he clapped his hands over his mouth, staring at him. 

Steve felt like he was going to throw up. Everything inside of him was hot and heavy. So the truth was out. The flood gate had broken. The tears forced harder at his eyes; he didn’t think he could stop them now. 

“A girl?” He whimpered, hating himself, hating Eddie, hating her.

“Yes.” 

Steve broke down sobbing, falling onto the ledge of the bathtub with his head in his hands. Everything was wet, his voice, his face, his vision, but he couldn’t stop talking, he couldn’t stop sobbing. “Does she love you? Actually, I don’t even want to know. Don’t tell me. Don’t tell me who she is, don’t tell me anything. I don’t want to know. God, I fucking hate myself. I knew it, I knew it!”

“Steve, that’s not what I-”

“I don’t want to know! Don’t tell me!”

“Steve, you’re drunk. We’ll talk about this later when you aren’t so emotional.”

“I’m emotional?!” He leapt back up to his feet. He was feeling too much too strong, and he couldn’t contain all of it. “Yeah, I fucking am! I tried so hard not to fuck this whole thing up, I gave you everything, so you would never find a reason to leave me like everyone else, and it still wasn’t good enough? I wasn’t fucking good enough? Who do you think I am? I tried so hard not to be clingy and... and never-needy, always perfect and pretty, just like I thought you wanted. So my shine could reflect on you. And it wasn’t fucking good enough!”

“Stop screaming.” Eddie groaned, rubbing at the bridge of his noise and the spot where his eyebrows were knit together.

“Oh, am I being too loud? Someone might find us out? God forbid someone finds out another one of your secrets. Is that all I am to you, another stupid fucking secret? I couldn’t tell anyone because you didn’t want anyone to know you would lower your standards for me?”

“I was trying to protect you!” 

“I don’t need you to protect me! I’ve been fending for myself my whole life. Let’s not forget, I risked my life to save your ass.”

“I didn’t ask you to do that! You didn’t have to!”

“I wish I didn’t! I should’ve let the bats eat you!”

That was the final blow. Steve was surprised he’d even said it, even let the words come out, because they weren’t true, not even a little, but now he had won, he had taken the fatal shot and it was over. 

Eddie stared at him, trying not to cry, trying not to think about it at all, but it was too much, too raw to ignore. 

“What the hell, Steve?” He whispered. 

The door shoved open, and Nancy stepped in, glancing between them. “What’s going on?”

Neither man looked at her, refusing to look away from the other. 

“It’s bullshit.” Steve muttered. “You’re bullshit.”

Eddie lost it, lunging forward to punch him, and Steve, already tipsy and unsteady, tumbled backward over the edge of the tub to avoid it, cracking his head back against the tile. 

“HEY!” Nancy screamed, grabbing Eddie’s shoulders to yank him back. “ROBIN! JONATHAN! SOMEBODY! HEY!”

Steve’s head pounded, and there was definitely blood running down his neck, but the first thing his father had hit him over was not getting up during a fight. He always had to get back up. He scrambled to his feet, even dizzier and shaky than before, socking him hard in the side. 

Nancy yelled for Robin again and again, trying to get herself between them. Steve wouldn’t hit her; Steve would never hit her. 

“Steve! Stop it! Steve! I swear to God! Both of you! What the hell happened?”

“You.” Eddie pointed at Steve, refusing still to look away. “You’re an asshole. That’s what happened. You.”

Steve’s sight was so blurry he could barely see anything at all, but his head hurt, and his body ached, and he really wished he hadn’t just punched Eddie because he desperately wanted someone to hold him right now. 

“I’m going home.” Eddie finally tore his eyes away to address Nancy. “Don’t let him follow me.”

“You shouldn’t drive, Eddie.”

“I don’t even fucking care.” He rolled his eyes and stormed out.

Nancy sighed exhaustedly, taking hold of Steve’s arm. “Alright, come on, I’m taking you home.”

“I don’t want to go home.” He pulled out of her grasp. “Now I can finally have some fucking fun. I just need a beer and I’ll be fine.”

“You’re wasted, you’re bleeding all over the place, and you’ve probably got another concussion. You’re going home. Don’t fight me or I’ll make Jonathan put you in my trunk.”

Steve scoffed weakly, in a pathetic attempt to hide the fact that he actually was scared of her threat.

She dragged him back through the party, grabbing a roll of paper towels from the table of snacks and pushing him out into the cold air.

He moaned when the quiet and the cold hit him, stumbling even more to keep up with her. His feet were everywhere, and he couldn’t seem to get them to go where he wanted. 

Nancy just kept dragging, a tight grip on his sleeve until eventually she pushed him into the passenger seat of her car and unwound a thick stack of paper towels. “Hold this to your head.”

He did as she said, because he didn’t know what else to do and it was second nature to do whatever Nancy told him to. 

“Don’t move. Stay right here until I come back. I’ve got to go tell Robin I’m leaving and make sure she has a ride.” 

“Ugh, we shouldn’t ruin her night.” Steve whined, laying back against his own hand pressed to the back of his head. “Let’s just go back in and forget about it. I’m fine. You’re fine. Rob’ll be psyched... I’m haven’t even had any weed.”

“God, that’s the last thing you need.” She sighed again. “Stay. Do not move. Understand me?”

“Yeah, whatever.”

He wasn’t sure how long he sat there. Could’ve been a few minutes, could’ve been days. The longer he was alone, the longer he could start to think, and suddenly everything he’d said, screamed really, was replaying through his head like a bad record. 

God, he’d screwed up.

When Nancy came back- without Robin; apparently some of the other band kids were there and she could get a ride with them- she took the wad of bloody paper towels and forced his head forward so she could look at the damage. Wasn’t too bad; he didn’t need stitches or staples or anything, but he probably had a concussion. 

“I’m gonna take you to the ER.”

“Don’t bother. If we’re lucky, I’ll just die.”

“What?”

He lolled his head to the side exhaustedly. “I just punched my boyfriend and told him I wished he had been eaten alive. There is literally no point to not die.”

Nancy stared at him for a moment, absorbing everything he’d just said. She didn’t say anything; the words were trapped inside her and wouldn’t seem to form anything coherent. 

“Oh.” She said finally. 

She nodded curtly, crossing around the front of the car to get in the driver’s seat. Steve was glad she didn’t talk anymore because his head was absolutely throbbing. 

She still drove him to the ER, but he was too tired to protest, and he hoped they would give him something that could knock him out for a couple days.

“Try not to go to sleep. It’s not good for a concussion.” She said finally.

He groaned, but he did try.

She relapsed back into silence but kept glancing over at him every now and then, more often than not, watching him.

“What?”

She stared straight ahead. “How... How long have you been...”

“Like six months or something. Ask me in the morning.”

“Am I the last to know?”

“No, nobody knew. Not even Robin.”

She nodded slowly. “Did you sleep with him?”

“Yes! God, stop with the interrogation! My head hurts!”

“Are you gay, Steve?”

“I don’t know!” He threw his head down on the dashboard, which didn’t help the headache and made him moan again. “I don’t know, I just need to talk to Eddie! I looked like an idiot... God, I was such a dick.”

He started to cry again, pulling his sleeves up over his hands and sobbing into them. 

Nancy awkwardly reached over to touch him, comfort him somehow, but it only made him cry harder. 

“Why am I crying?! Why do I feel bad?! He cheated on me, Nance! This is on him!”

“Steve...”

“What the hell is wrong with me? You cheated on me; you tell me. What's wrong with me? Why can’t anybody love me?”

“Steve, just... just calm down, okay?” She could feel her voice getting thick, and now was certainly not the time to empathy-cry. “Just... just stop.”

“What’s wrong with me?” He wailed. “What the hell’s wrong with me? I fucking hate myself...”

Steve groaned, fumbling for the remote because the tv was so loud he couldn’t even think straight. It wasn’t very loud at all, even as he muted it, and if it had been under any normal circumstances, he wouldn’t have even been able to hear what was going on. It was so loud though; everything was so loud. 

“Aghhhh!” He clawed at his head, pulling at his hair until he was in pain. He could think if there was pain, because then he could shut out everything else and focus. 

His nails dug into his temples, dragging down the side of his face. Maybe he was bleeding; he couldn’t be sure. Everything felt hot and wet, maybe it was blood, probably it was sweat. 

He couldn’t breathe. He felt like he was suffocating, like everything was closing in on him and he was going to die right then, right there.

That was such a shitty night. They’d stitched up his head in the ER and gave him something to stop the pain and he’d laid there in the stupid white hospital bed with blood on his shirt and a broken heart and the worst hangover of his life and Nancy had held him for hours and he’d cried and cried. 

He didn’t talk to Eddie.

Steve forced himself to his feet. He had to go outside. He had to get out of this room, get out of this place. He was feeling too much, and everything hurt. 

He grabbed the cigarettes and tripped outside, collapsing onto the grass, skin crawling with overstimulation. The rain had lightened up some, but not a lot, and it came tumbling down onto him. He was drowning, being sucked under the waves again and again until his lungs exploded. 

God, he wished he could die.

@maya-custodios-dionach and @steve-the-hairrington

*if you wanna be added to the tag list message me! the whole thing is written and i’ll add a chapter every day*

[fictionkinfessions]

For post canons I suppose I can share one of my favorite post-fontaine story mems.

My assesment for becoming a Harbinger. It was a few years after fontaines canon. I think Traveler was in snezhnaya at the time, though I can't say if it was during its arc or after.

Harbinger assesments were part of the Fatuis annual gathering to test the harbingers, adjust rankings within, ect. Which meant Lynette and I got to fight as many Harbingers as we could get through. I remember details about each fight we faced, but One of them was my favorite.

My fight with Tartaglia. Now my Fontaine Arc was rather divergent, Tartaglia was handled differently, and we had gotten into a rather abusive relationship during his months there. Tartaglia of course denied it for years, and I have no memory of him ever coming to his senses about it, even after Aether stopped speaking with him.

Needless to say I used our required fight to get some much craved revenge. While even years later of no contact, he was still so angry, and thought he could finally "shut me up". Though I suppose I did decimate his reputation by being open about it ;p Even got him banned from returning to Fontaine by the Fatui. (the Fatui informed the court that should Tartaglia be seen he is to be sent back to Snezhnaya immediately, your boyfriend being the head of meropide certainly helped in ensuring fontaine complied with the request.)

Tartaglia was so blinded with rage during our battle that he gave up all his advantages inorder to go straight to his strongest form, foul legacy. And doing so was his downfall, as he lost all his movement and speed advantage over me, allowing me to get good range and just absolutely decimate him. It's surprisingly easy to overwhelm foul legacy with attacks too fast for the heavy form to retaliate against.

I did the other Harbingers a favor by putting him out of commision for a few days according to Father. He would apparently beg every other harbinger to fight until they taped his mouth shut every year.

I still think its funny that I was so ready to finally give him a taste of his own medicine that I completely forgot that Lynette was supposed to be fighting with me (as she counted as part of my ability, like dottores clones, or sandrones primary puppet).

Though Pierro should be grateful I forgot about that, or else he'd have more harbingers to replace. I could keep myself from killing him, but nobody stops Lynette when she wants to kill. Pierro just seemed very confused when Father and I mentioned that to him.

The other fights were all realy fun- Lynette being allowed to go all out is truly a terrifying sight. With the speed she has you'd think her vision were electro. Ever seen a woman of her stature cut through over a foot of solid metal before you could blink? She nearly distracted me in that fight when she did that- I know I was technically stronger than her, but I didnt take "you're allowed to kill eachother" as an invitation. (Sorry that she almost killed you btw Sandrone.)

And yet despite Lynettes terrifying speed- You would never think it. But Pulcinella? Even faster. That fight was over before we could really even get started. No Old Man should be allowed to be That Fast I swear. So of course, being defeated by Harbinger no.5, We were placed in seat 6. Ofc I held the title officially, and Lynette was just my primary assistant, but we were treated as a duo of harbingers by everyone anyway, even though I was the only one who got the big Harbinger jacket >:)

I don't think I'll ever remember future assesments, as my initiation is obviously the most important one. But I wouldn't mind getting more memories of fighting Tartaglia during them. Because the one in this timeline certainly deserved it.

While I'm here of course. Thank You, Pierro. For making sure I was comfortable. I get the feeling the other harbingers hated Tartaglia enough they wanted an excuse to remove him, and just didnt want to deal with the headache of removing him themselves- He was more trouble than he was worth after Fontaine if my hunch is right (truly a downside of delusions, hm?) And even if your kindness was only because of that, it is still very much appreciated.

~Lyney 🕯♟

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