#having a body that needs to be taken care of so you dont die sucks

[slutdge]

god im randomly craving catfish nuggets so bad right now

[bunny-heels]

I know it’s been a while since we chatted about Gadget so I’m sorry if this comes off as random but I’ve been into it again lately and I re-read some of Laidlaw’s book, and now some things about Slowslop’s relationship with Elena makes more sense cause at first I wasn’t sure if some things were meant to be taken literally or figuratively.

I’m more certain now that Slowslop’s feelings for Elena weren’t romantic, but the alternative may or may not be worse depending on your view.

So from the hints given about Slowslop’s alien nature, he apparently sustains himself by eating or absorbing people’s brains or psyche, and the reason Slowslop planned to gather the six scientists and Elena to leave Earth on the Ark was because he was going to consume their minds as sustenance, and the more intelligent or luminary these minds are, the better they taste to him, and he thinks Elena’s mind would be the tastiest of all. Plus, this process of consuming apparently kills the victim or perhaps causes them to be absorbed into Slowslop permanently because he says he wants to save Elena for last.

But there’s no doubt that Slowslop cares about Elena in his own twisted way and wants to take care of her, sacrificing himself to buy Elena enough time to leave when things don’t work out for him, so if you REALLY want Slowslop to come out looking good, maybe him absorbing people’s minds into himself creates a hivemind, although honestly that would still be fucked up for the victims. Oh well. Maybe G-Man will be nicer in his intentions for Alyx.

Holy shit, as I’m typing this, I’m just now realizing that Slowslop eating people’s minds is kind of like how the Combine Advisors suck out people’s brains to access their knowledge like how they were gonna use Eli’s knowledge until Alyx changed the timeline, and there’s the fan theory that G-Man is a renegade member of the Advisor’s species given human form because of Marc Laidlaw doing a Twitter account of Dr. Breen in an Advisor body discussing their biology and how they can hatch into other forms, has this book hidden the answer the whole time?????????!!!!!!!!!!!

third force walked so half-life could sprint on all fours like a dog

but that does give Slowslop and G-Man a lil more similarities, because they both do things that hurt groups of people but its kinda needed for the survival of their species. but they also have people they are slightly hesitant to do anything with and take extra care to make sure they dont die cause if they do their plans are fucked and also it'll hurt them emotionally.

also they both go after people with extremely strong minds and a lot of capabilities that even the person doesnt know themselves.

[pissysister]

let me preface with im not gonna do it

i think i have to kill myself. there is nothing going even remotely well for me in my life and there kind of hasnt been for years and years

i failed out of my degree program then graduated with a different degree with a low gpa. so i can basically never go back to college

i want to transition and i basically cant get a decent job which is extremely important

im fat, im fat and ugly, and what? do i want people to treat me like a fat ugly woman? do i want people to make even more assumptions about me?

people are constantly making assumptions about me all the time and its because im so standoffish and weird and itll only get so so so much worse

im a terrible person whose done terrible things to good people

i have not done enough for the people in my life, every one of them has cause to mistrust or hate me

i have no talents, not anymore, and i have no great skills

i ruined my brain and can never go back to school

i have so so so little money and im too ashamed to ask my family or the internet for money

i just have nothing, i have nothing to live for

if i started transitioning Today i would probably be free of the pain and nausea and fatigue after years, what if im 30 by the time it all settles?

im so fat and ugly and my health sucks,

im so off-putting from a combination of being starved for friendship and being too scared to be myself and too out of practice in socializing

im in a relationship and its terrible, i am not strong or well enough to take care of her like she needs, im too poor to give her the things she needs, and im too much of bastard to keep myself from losing my patience and making her feel a horrible guilt for everything that i do for her

i cant even be kind without demolishing the good in it

i have no friends, i cant stand so many people and and so many people cant stand me

i have nothing, i have no one

i have my girlfriend, but she takes so much out of me ans were really not right for each other that i dont feel comfortable coming to her with anything

every time i have in the past she doesn't really help, shell comfort me for q time until its her turn to complain and be comforted

i never really get comfort from her, its always her getting it from me

but i cant leave her, what kind of hell would that be in the middle of all this?

she would move out and i cant afford this apartment alone or any apartment alone and i dont know anyone in this city like that

i would have to move home, and lose any excuse to avoid my family, id probably even have to move in with them

these people who assume and assume and assume

i just cant take it anymore im so fat and so lonely and so hurt and my body is breaking and i cant take it anymore

i just feel like its time to start writing goodbye letters because i cant bear the shame of writing thank you letters i was meant to send years ago...

and maybe if i kill myself i could do something beautiful with that, do it big

i could sail into the sun and drown or capsize or die blistered by the sun

i could swallow an explosive and paint a room

or i could become one with a blade and feel the separation of my insides, taste the blood and see it spilling forth, feel the cold envelop me

i could just drive until the road claimed me

i could take that trip ive always wanted to take, drive for days until something came to kill me

or i could jump from a random parking garage and excise my pain like a cyst, ooh wouldnt that feel good?

the pressure just taken off all at once?

i could poison myself, which never sounded very good so ill probably never do that

[virtualtoybox]

okay nobody asked however tho i may be cringe i am also FREE so heres the story beats for dark lady au -

-padme survived, tho is handicapped from injuries sustained during her fight with anakin on mustafar. shes in a leadership position in the rebellion, but stays disguised as a handmaiden to the queen of alderaan as a way to protect here identity from the empire. 

-luke and leia are raised basically co-parented by the organas as well as padme and sabe. luke and padme are extremely close while her relationship with leia remains strained and distant... being a mother to her daughter was harder than was to be one to her son. she saw too much of herself in leia, and it scared her, and i think it scared leia too. a ferocity and need to change the world around her but too young to do anything about it. padme wishes she had done more about it. she tries so hard to make up for hte mistakes of her past, creating a better future for her children based on the foundation she failed to build before. 

- its around 12 years old that the children are found out by vader, and leia is singled out just by being on the wrong planet at the wrong time, just because she happened to by the first he found ina vulnerable enough position. he never planned to take leia; it didnt have to be her. 

- middle middle ive been drinking and smoking, ALL NIGHT, so suck it up you dont get the intensive leia sith training meta. maybe tomorrow. 

- ....okay just a lil. so she is fairly easy to manipulate tbqh considering shes so hunger for more and better and any sort of satisfaction that can ease the burning in her gut for just a second. palpatine offers her that in the form of force training- something her mother forbade. 

- so leia very definitely like. feels like being a sith can get her where she wants to be- where palpatine is. doing better than him. 

- a new hope is different in many ways but the one i will talk at length about is Leias assassination of emperor palpatine. vader is tasked with stopping the hotshot pilot trying to destroy the death star and comes back to give his master the bad news only to find a mangled body and his daughter wuth blood on her hands. she wont tell him what exactly happened- but that she does expect a new title. 

- emperor vader and his daughter; the dark lady arfenia (the devoted) are a very intense hand in unlovable hand fucked up power duo who feed off each other in the worst most unhealthy ways - she hates him so much, knows she needs him alive for now, shaking deep in her bones to finally kill him. he loves and would die for her easily, knows its not yet his time so he  is basically a puppet leader for his extremely disturbed daughter. 

-during this time, padme takes luke to ahsoka for force training- desperate for some form of defense against her ex husband ... against her own daughter.

- leia and han end up meeting when han is taken prisoner by vader to try and lure luke ala esb, though things go quite a bit differently to the point of Han being stuck in the cells on Leias ship. she honestly just curious as to who wouldve grabbed her brothers attention to such an extent that she visits han a bit more often than she should. they only know each other for a month. theyre only together once. its enough. 

-jaina and jacen are born 9 months later. theyre both so strong in the force, leia can already sense the power rolling off her children in waves. but one of them, the boy... hes sick. no matter what she does, she cant get him to stop crying a sickly pathetic wail- something that scared her so so bad. she could only think of one person who might be able to help- her brother, a jedi. a healer in the force. 

-she leaves jacen with luke- hiding him away just close enough for her brother to sense and safe enough to wait until he did. she knows the boy will be safe there- maybe even get to know his father. 

-ive type 1k more words than discord will allow me to send about an au no one could possibly care about besides myself and im not even to the main part of the au. might write more later but for now i thnk im gonna go put myself in niche star wars au jail (timeout in the corner)

[kaz11283]

I really like the prompt list you reblogged it’s got some good stuff. What about 37. “Because I love you god damn it!” with Loki if you are still needing inspiration.

37) Because I Love You God Damn It!

~~~~

The Secret Is Out

Characters: the Avengers Bunch, Loki, Thor, Clint

Warnings: Dirty words, slight angst

Summary: after putting your life in the line for a teammate you accidentally let a big secret slip.

Announcements: I will always need insperation and requests! They feed my soul! Haha. I'm not gonna lie. Im skipping back and forth on my requests though. I have a really good story line for one but its just so emotional(thats were Im hoping it goes at least) that I didnt want to write it tonight and put my self in a mood. So instead I guess im goimg with a form of anger? Meh. Anyways... I absolutly love love love everything from you guys! The reblogs, likes, and comments are amazing and I am very greatful for all the love I am getting!!!! 💚💚💚💚💚

Loki Masterlist

~~~~

The fight had been rough but not as rough as you were feeling in the moment. You had gotten serverly hurt and had been in the medbay for about a week now and you had a longer road ahead. There had been an explosion and instead of turning to run away you had ran toward one of your team members that had been to distracted to realize what was going on, you had successfully gotten him shoved out of the way but you had taken the brunt of the blast.

Now you were laying here staring at the celing trying to stay distracted as Bruce and Tony looked at your completely shaddered knee and the burns up your leg. Fingers crossed that they would have good news soon.

"Well as of right now kid your out of commission." Tony said helping you sit back up.

"Meaning?" You pulled one of the pillows down so that you could sit up without being uncomfortable.

"Meaning right now, the way it all looks, your gonna be stuck in the bed until it fully heals and after wards theres really no way to tell if your going to be able to work in the field again." Burce said looking at the xrays again. "And your gonna have to have surgery in order to put all the right pieces back in the right places, but we cant really do that until some of the burns heal or at least start to heal. Its gonna be a long drawn out process unfortunately." He sighed setting the charts back down and walking over to you.

"Fucking hell! You mean I'm gonna be pushing paper work? I might as well go work in a damn office with four white walls and a poster that says 'hang in there, its almost Friday'." You placed your head in your hands.

"Hey! At least our paper work is more exciting than just running numbers." Tony said placing a hand on your back. He had been like a fsther to you, taking you in when you didnt have anywhere else to turn except the streets. Your own family had abandoned you at a young age and you had been leaning toward a dark path until Tony. "Besides with your expertise you dont have to sit behind a desk, your fingers arent blown off, you can still hack into stuff I'm sure."

"Tony we had a deal when I moved in. No hacking but you would train me and I could actually do good. Now look at me."

"I said no hacking the good guys, and if I remember correctly you were the one jumping close to the bomb not away from. I hate to be this way y/n but the only one to blame is yourself on this one."

"He would have been worst off than I am if not killed. I think I did the right thing. Besides you would have done the same thing if you had been closer." You sighed.

"Honey the diffrence with that is I have a supersuit, you wear a skin tight, spandex one peice, that I'm not a fan of." He laughted. Bruce had went to go get you some more pain killers to shoot into your IV.

"Tony if I were you I would shut up. Your starting to sound like you might actually love me, might even say your starting to act like a dad." You laughed pulling him into a hug.

"Shut it kid, cant let the others know I have a soft spot for the hacker orphan kid i took in all those years ago now can I." He said kissing the top of your head. "Do you need anything else before the drugs kick in and you pass out again?"

"Yes, can you please bring me my phone charger, laptop, and that really fluffy blanket that you and Pep got for me for Christmas."

"Dont ask to much of me now."

"I wouldnt be asking if you would just let me stay in my room. I hate it down here. I wanna be were the people are." You were starting to get loopy from whatever Bruce had given you.

"Ok little mermaid, get some rest I'll get your stuff." He laughed walking out the door letting you fall into a restless sleep.

You didnt know how long you hade been asleep but you woke up with a groan trying to sit up so you could atleast stretch your back from laying in one spot for to long. You flopped back down dramatically with a sigh. You could sense someine else in the room with you, you always knew when he was around.

"You dont have to hide in the shadows Loki. Your more than welcome to keep me company, you should know that by now." You smiled as the prince walked over and sat in the chair beside you. You could tell he hadnt been sleeping, his hair was fixed as always but his clothes looked worst for wear. He had on a plain black shirt and a pair of gray sweat pants, both of with had wrinkles in them either from tossing and turning or from not being changed in a few days.

"Whats wrong? And dont pull that 'nothing is wrong dear. I'm absolutly fine.' Bullshit. You look horrible." You reatched out to grab his hand. What you and Loki had was diffrent. You didnt just see his as a friend, he didnt just see you as that either though. You had spent many nights sitting up with the silver tounge man many nights laying on the couch watching movies, reading, talking about each of your pasts. He knew more about you than even Tony did.

"I'm still currently trying to wrap my head around why you pushed me out of the way and took the blow when you had a chance of dying from it. You shouldnt have been so thick headed my dear." He took your hand and raised it to his lips kissing the top of your hand.

"Loki." You sighed rolling your head to look back up at the celing. "You would have been hurt alot wordt than I am now, that blast could have killed you."

"I am a god y/n, that blast wouldnt have caused me nearly as much damage as it did you." His voice raised slightly.

"Thats what you think. You think that because you are "immortal" that you can take anything thats thrown at you. That no one really cares about you, that you wouldnt be missed? So why not try to take a blow from a bomb? My god your so stupid sometimes."

"I know I can. Norns y/n I've jumped into space, been brain washed, tried to take over New York, gotten smashed around by the Hulk. I was raised with Thor, he doesnt really go easy on a person. What I'm saying is I dont understand why you, a mear midguardian, would sacrifice themselves for me. If anything would have happened-"

"Nothing did happen though. I'm fine-"

"You have steel sticking from your leg, theres no telling when or even if you'll be able to walk again, and there are highly server burns that will leave scares. You cannot sit there and tell me that you are fine."

"Your right it does suck that I'm jot gonna be able to pull off shorts or a bikini anymore."

"This isnt a joke y/n. You almost died!" He finally yelled.

"And i would do it a thousand times over if that ment saving your damn ass again!" You shouted back.

"Why though?! Why me y/n? I've done horrible things, killed people! My life is meaningless." Tears had sprang to his eyes as he looked away.

"Because I love you God damn it!" You stopped suddenly your jaw dropping at the admission that you hadnt ment for him to hear. His head jerked back to you.

"What?" Shock was all over his face as he stood to walk closer to you. "What did you just say?"

"Because I love you Loki Odinson. Because if you were to die I dont think I would be able to go on living. Because even if you see all the bad things that you've done I can look pass that amd see all the good that you are doing." You reached up placing a hand on his cheek and wiping away a tear.

"I love you too y/n. I have since the day I met you. The girl that didnt care what anyone said when she spent time with me. The girl that can see through every face i put on. I love you so much darling." He placed his hand on your face and leaning down gently kissing your lips.

It felt like you thought it always should you felt electricity run through your body and the two of you connected. It was like getting a breath after not being able to for so long. He pulled away smiling at you.

"What do we tell the others?" He asked laying on with bed with you being easy with your leg. He placed his arm around your middle and pulled you as close as he could.

"I honestly dont care what we tell them. They can figure it out themseves for all I care." You smiled lacing your fingers with his, you yawned placing your head on his shoulder closing your eyes.

"Sleep now my Dove, I will be here when you wake." He felt your gentle breath slow as you fell asleep, the rhythm you of your breath lulling him into his own sleep.

Tony and Bruce walked in the next morning stopping dead at the sight in front of them. You and Loki were still cuddled on the small bed sleeping peacefully.

"Should we wake them up?" Bruce asked looking at Tony.

"Na, let them sleep. Dont want to let them know that we know." Tony saod grabbing Bruce's arm and turning to walk back out of the door.

~~~~

Tag List:

@kgirardin

@sophlubbwriting

@supbeeches

@high-functioning-lokipath

[glaivegirl]

I've gotta go to sleep but like i do love vash the stampede, i in no way think hes a flawless, like hes a creep to women which is the biggest flaw of the entire series, which sucks bigtime. but the art style of trigun is just so fucking good. like to date its my favorite like low tech post apocalypse and def my fav desert post apocalypse. i think they do the western thing very well also. and like its just so fucking cool where they take their art style and how much they do with such a simple and old premise.

vash being the classic, 'i refuse to take a human life no matter what' is done really well but like they do such a good job of juxtaposing it with how cringe and fail he is, and that is also a quality thats been done to death before and since in other anime. and im not really into many anime but ive been exposed to a lot of them through friends. but they do such a good job of like slowly turning the character to show more and more of him through the episodes and like it never feels like theyre not revealing more of him as a person but it also never feels like theyre just going through the motions and doing rhe same thing twice but more or twice but with a twist like every other show does

and then they give you wolfwood with his tits out for jesus and he he has no problem killing, just like everyone else. then you find out more about vash and youre like shit i see youre doing the age old oh he was so human and taught us how to be human even though hes a monster. but thats not human, and this guy has so much goddamn love in his heart for humanity and it literally tears chunks off his immortal body year by year, just because he refuses to cause harm

and like the show never tries too hard to make you feel that, i never feel like the tone or the characters were just tools to pry my heart open to these feelings, the show did such a fucking good job of just letting me feel how i wanted and even though thst was its intent, the atmosphere and plot and characterization just get you there and the show gets you there so gently and just coaxes the emotions out of you so incredibly patiently, all while never being boring. which is fucking incredible

and then theres wolfwood, who when met with the superhuman and met with this thing thats as close as anyone has ever glimpsed of something beyond the human, like vash is closer to god than anyone living, and hes taken with him just like everyone else is. but wolfwoods a hot priest who kills when he needs to even past this higher powered up dude pleading constantly with everyone to settle things without killing. and eventually, patiently, gently, he listens and he tries to do the thing that the show has shown us but never really told us clearly or pointed to, that the superhuman is the only one anywhere who does this. and wolfwood dies like anyone anywhere would if they tried this. vash is in many ways not human, the human who tried to live up to the extremely human ideals dies and the superhuman lives.

but ... eventually the superhuman, who youve watched be in love with humanity for like 20 episodes and youve watched him try to live as a human as much as he can, he fails and he has to break his code and act against his most closely held beliefs. he doesnt die after this, hes maybe never the same again but not extremely, but hes just had a little piece of his soul defiled so that the people he loved were okay. and then he just has to keep on going, having lost something, and having lost

and he learns so much about being human, by losing, by giving up you ideals when the stakes are high enough and its awful but you keep on going and you dont abandon those ideals but you also don't abandon those people

and so he goes on, having had his soul tread on, having been broken, and so much hasn't changed even with so much having changed. and he is human and he knows love and it fills him even after life shatters him, and he still cares, and hes got a cool gun for an arm

[justasimplesinner]

Can be silly or serious, up to you. How would the big Bois respond with an S/O who in the middle of a surprise shoot out just yeets a car at the attackers? Like they were on a date n then some rivals drive up. After the smoke settles S/I just looks to the boy with tears streaming down their face, " I'm sorry" they say thought their sobs " I just didn't know how to tell you about me being a freak".

Thank you soooo much

ay darl im sorry if this sucks but i really didnt know what to do with this request in all honesty. i dont even know how to name those hcs. no thoughts head empty

Bane hcs:

he really didn't expect that shit would hit the fan like that. it was supposed to be simple. he was just picking up a weapons drop at the docks with some of his crew. you weren't even supposed to be there but he made the grave mistake of letting you tag along for once, he usually never let you go anywhere near his shady deals because of his concern for your safety. but oh well, you're here now. and so is the police. not an ideal situation at all

his top priority is protecting you. he's gonna fucking shield you with his body if he must, but he won't let you get hurt. nobody was ready for the police forces to round up on y'all and now he has to improvise to get you out of there but that's easier said than done. until you just fucking snap and before he even comprehends that you escaped from behind him, there are cars flying and flames blazing

he's taken aback. anyone would be. it's not every day you see your "Certified Small Bean" partner just up and yeet a car at the police. the second the opportunity arises, he takes you the hell away from the whole scene, but he has some questions. he will, of course, try to somehow comfort you, but why did you keep that hidden from him? were you ashamed? is there anything else you're hiding? he doesn't have anything against your powers, but he's starting to wonder if you've been really truthful with him. he really values honesty, and you know he wouldn't ever disrespect or hate you for who you are. look at him, he's literally taking drugs to make him as strong as you naturally are, he's in no place to talk shit. you're still the apple of his eye, but now he just doesn't see you as all that helpless and in need of protection

Croc hcs:

Waylon doesn't usually get involved in shoot-outs. he keeps to the sidelines, lives in the sewer, doesn't really have a crew. he's just sometimes "employed" by other rogues, and he's cool with that. this time, he was supposed to supervise Penguin's weapons deal in Otisburg, but someone snitched and there was another gang trying to take over the deal. jobs for Penguin were always smooth and went according to plan, and his payment for the job was a free dinner at the Lounge, so he just took you with him and intended to take you out for a nice date for once. and this one time you're there, shit goes down and guns start blazing

his mind goes blank and it's like he jumps to you on instinct. he doesn't care about the deal, he doesn't care about anything, his only thought is to keep you safe. he feels like a fucking idiot for taking you there, he should've known. he should've known shit will hit the fan the second he thinks things are going good for him. he's starting to panic, because if it was just a shoot-out, he'd probably be fine, but you're there and you can die and it's gonna be his fault. and then this whole thing turns into you saving his sorry ass

he has a momentary mind-fuck. was that a car you just flipped at the attackers? for a moment, he can't even comprehend what's going on and then suddenly, you're crying and apologizing and he doesn't understand shit. like, why didn't you tell him? that's kind of a big thing, y'know? worst part is, his brain twists the whole thing into thinking you didn't trust him nearly as much as he trusted you and that maybe you didn't think he was good enough. why wouldn't you tell him if that wasn't the case? why would he, out of all people, call you a freak? you've seen him? he fucking knows how it is. do you really think so lowly of him? it's gonna take some serious explaining to get rid of his new-found insecurities, but the damage is done

[katewaliss]

! write with me or fight with me!

you either die by my sword or the most painful head canons imaginable! *merida vc* choose yer fate

just kidding!

 hey there gaymers, i am crissy! i am 22, live in pst, go by she/her pronouns and honestly would very much like a distraction from life -- preferably in the form of 1x1 and rp in general. i am currently doing online school plus trying/failing at adulting, being a crazy pink haired college student living on microwave dimsum with my crazy fluffy demon cat, but that still leaves me with a lot of time and what better way to spend that time then crying and dying, am i right, boys? 

so without further ado ( adieu? idk gusundheit ) here are a list of discomboblulated plot things that have been floating around in my head that i might be fun to do ( plot fragments, ideas, ocs, fcs i like, settings, genres etc )! i’d prefer a message if u liked any of these in the inbox or dm form, my tumblr ims are open and my discord user is mr. worldwide#2918 ( pitbull supremacy ) but if ur shy i will message u and be annoying! 

lastly: i prefer hcing in the dms to replies, however i will do replies/ask memes slowly, i don’t really like making blogs and prefer google docs/discord and i ask ( gently and respectfully ) that minors do not interact.

thank u and happy hunger games! xx

COLLEGE TOTALLY SPIES -- i was really obsessed with this picture right here and i thought that the picture would be a good premise for a little four person group based on totally spies. i was thinking that these three college students/young adults some friends maybe not some enemies or just on completely different ends of the social agenda get bonded together when they accidentally end up roped in a top secret spy organization that is fronted by a record store. the details and flesh of the plot i think would be cute to figure out all together maybe in a google doc or a big discord so we can make the rp to perfect world building specifications. right now i have two spots open! 

my friend lexi over at comradc has taken the cool goth asian girl and is using lyrica okano

i am playing the freckly backwards hat lesbian in the red polo named aj mccallis and i think im using diana silvers ( not sure might switch to tati rodriguez )

we also have the cute blond girl w the dyed hair who is giving me kind of like sydney sweeney energies, blonde girl maybe like lalisa manoban/jinsoul,

and we have the rad black girl with the bandids who i would only accept black fcs for for such as diamond white, ryan destiny, salem mitchell, 

i’d prefer if this stayed kind of sapphic and female and enby friendly. we can def make make npcs and characters but i’d prefer if the characters looked like they do in the picture ( minus the white girls who can be racebent as long as there are vibes ) mostly bc i want the poc people to stay the correct poc! but yeah! if u like this message me specifically!!!!! seperately and hit me w a role ud like maybe an fc an idea anything < 3 im working on a google doc and discord sever

- i really want to play a himbo skater boy evan mock like its my dream i know nothing abt him other than he probably goes by something like mouth or juice or tris or dex or dante but !!!! he has buzzed hair he buzzes designs into, does stick n pokes, hates cops, will kiss anyone, likes to mosh at house shows, smokes a lot and sounds like crush from finding nemo, probably ur parents worst nightmare if im honest rodrick heffley energy -- adopt him for any plot

- i also really am obsessed with simay barlas who is my mascot rn -- i want to play her in some sort of dark academia setting with like gossip girl blair waldorf energies lu from elite and have her be really mean and cold and pretentious and play the cello and probably have secrets and be uptight idk the name mallory is resonating hard w me ( we could even do a gossip girl the secret history type group if people liked that ) 

-ok i also really really want to play streak aka silas montgomery who is like very like sidekick best friend to the golden boy main character, does a kick ass goat impression, class clown, relentlessly hits on like the most difficult person in school, does crazy things for laughs and attention, just wants to make people happy, only wears hawaiian shirts, finger guns, is going nowhere in life, his dad is probably the dean at whatever prestigious school also he is very very depressed and drinks often! love u! a I Feel Like Im The Worst So I Always Act Like Im The Best electra heart baby PINTEREST

also yes his hair is pink reg verse he did it on a dare but hp verse he did a potion wrong and it never came out

SOMEONE DO A LADY HANNIBAL WILL GRAHAM RP KILLING EVE RP W ME! i made this will graham adjacent gal for a genderbent hannigram rp her name is bisexual disaster enida johnson and sometimes goes by needy or will bc her middle name is willamena! has basically all the will things wears flannels is a mess but has a bunch of cats instead of dogs in her woods log cabin and im using crystal reed bc it fits perfect in my head idk if u like her hmu hit me w a lady hannibal PINTEREST

other stuff

ok i really want to do a princess and knight plot but with knight zendaya and princess anya taylor joy ???? ALKHALKSHALK LITERALLY HELLO literally modern or like dnd style i do not care but know i love dnd! we could make it like them goin on some skyrim quests like hi

speaking of dnd and skyrim if anyone wants to do like anything based in dnd stuff or skyrim stuff i am DOWN

jennifers body plot!!!! maybe set in college!!!!! sounds spicy i will do a f/f or m/m version leggo leggo 

UNTIL DAWN UNTIL DAWN!!!! i wanted to do a little like 6 person or mumu until dawn thing where everyone either makes new characters or characters based on the existing six! i made a girl adjacent josh character named riley PINTEREST who i love very much ( fc might change im thinking maybe medallion rahimi ) pls hmu if ur down

i looooooove breakfast at tiffanys!!!! like i really love breakfast at tiffanys we love a call girl broody author ship and i want to play a mishti rahman holly golightly type character so so bad 

pygmalion plot!!! basically like an author and the main character of their book comes to life and the book character is probably from a different period of time or realm so doesnt know how to do modern 2020 stuff like microwaves and the tv! and then maybe they get sucked into the characters book world thats written by the author and have to navigate that! enchanted! w the kdrama! energy!

GOSSIP GIRL PLOT ENERGIES

any sort of the secret history murder society until dawn ahs horror type setting i am on a kick rn 

i still really want a deaf sailor and siren plot bc that is so spicy or even like anything involving sirens like maybe one thats like vegetarian and doesnt like to eat humans so it ariel rescues one and keeps it safe!! or like only men are susceptible to the sirens song but aha! i am a woman! Romance!

anything in the realm of percy jackson i love mythology lets go i kind of want a echo narcisuss plot and i want it to hurt me so bad 

i will do harry potter stuff but only if its completely removed from the current canon like years in the future no existing families also maybe beauxbatons salem and drumstrang plots bc thats what matters

iiiiiiiii really like anime so i will do anything kakegurui, soul eater, ohshc

i kind of like grew up on the hunger games so i will gladly take any hunger games plots like young effie and haymitch is spicy or like a career tribute and one of the weaker poorer distracts enemies to lovers leggo

i have a kind of oc that had their parents die in a factory gas leak that was the governments fault and it turned them into a vigilante assasin that is slowly picking off bootlicker government people one by one pretending to be one of them until bam! gets attached to the rich asshole son or daughter of the head hauncho or one of the higher ups ... drama

rich little celebrity fussy wussy being held captive by the mafia and the tired stoic mafia guard but they fall in love 

i kind of like any plot that involves one person that is really loud or angry or dramatic or whiny and the other one is kind of sweet and gentle or does not talk much idk make brain happy 

speaking of!

no nonsense law student studying abroad in a european country and an artist there falls in love w them and is all romantic and gush and is like ur my muse!!! and they are like Go awAy and they explore the city together and themelseves its nice!

i want to be an avan jogia super villain idk why i need to but i do 

not to be a disney adult bc i am not but anastasia princesses dont kiss kitchen boys 

rival cheer captians? best friends brother? pop princess celebrity singer and like antiestablishment really angry rockstar in a publicity relationship? broody detective and sunshiney diner person that works at the diner they eat at everyday?

idk i will think of more hmu these can all be made f/f or m/m if they arent 

[gr0veyard]

Ooc.; also other stuff im giving my 2 Cents to, so skip if you dont care

[[MORE]]

Puberty blockers:

PBs are not irreversible lmao. They don't mutilate a minors body. They merely keep puberty on hold long enough for the minor in question to have time to make sure they want to transition. PUBERTY is what is irreversible. Imagine going thru puberty and growing into a body that at worst will make you wanna KYS and at best hate looking at yourself in the mirror. Do you know how expensive transition can be after puberty? PLEASE do more research before making asinine statements like PBs being comparable to mutilation. PBs only hold puberty as long as theyre being taken, meaning that if you stop taking em puberty will set in just as it usually would.

"Even hormone blockers and transitional hormones are largely untested when it comes to long term effects" is a baseless claim which a little googling can be disproven.

"One of my friends in high school medically transitioned, and it did nothing to help their dysphoria. It just made them even more depressed, and they later killed themselves." I'm sorry for your loss, genuinly. That really sucks. But as much it makes me look like an asshole for saying this, this is an appeal to emotion (aka not factually backing your other claims) and also circumstancial. If your friend's suicide was tied to their transition, their case is just that: theirs. One of the biggest contributors to trans suicude rates is the unattainability of affordable transition and dysphoria caused by the changes made by puberty, only topped by abuse from people towards trans people. By advocating for PBs to be prohibited or limited, you don't help. You make the problem worse.

Communism:

"I’m against Communist and Fascism as they’re both extremely Authoritarian systems that give the government complete control over how you live your life." Since I'm a socialist and not a communist I cant speak for communism, but most allegedly communist states today still basically operate on a capitalist core, where they have communist parties etc., but still have a free market for instance. China for example, but Russia too.

Capitalism amasses copious amounts of wealth on the backs of the lower class in a short amount of time but is ultimately unsustainable. Vaush on youtube has a number of videos on this I recommend you to check out.

Healthcare:

"You can’t have a right to the services and labor of another person, their own freedom is taken away by that." No one is saying that should happen. Ideally, the state pays for this healthcare and before you say anything about that: I'm from a country without america's privatized healthcare. It's never been an issue here, people aren't fucking terrified shitless to go to the doctor bc they could go into crippling debt. Sure, you gotta wait a lil longer than someone w a private insurance company (which still exists but isnt necessary to live) in the waitingroom but that's annoying at worst.

I went to america end of 2019 to visit my gf and I fell really ill there. I had to go to the doctor there and I nearly felt my soul leave my body when I had to pay 100 FUCKING DOLLARS HOLY SHIT. thats nearly a fourth of my monthly income bro, how can you claim this to be okay? Ofc medstaff still need to be paid but oh my gods this is not okay. If I had to live with this system for the rest of my life it's fair to say I'd never go to the fucking doctor. And that'd be worse for the docs AND FOR ME.

"If you die or develop incurable illness awaiting treatment for months, there’s nothing anyone can do. If you’re treated right away and unfortunately end up with loads of medial debt, it’s unfortunate, but you’re still alive. You can still try to fundraise money, get donations, or if you’re skilled, work it off. It’s really shitty, but necessary." N- no????? It reaLLY ISNT THOUGH??? As I've stated before, this is not an issue w public healthcare. It's smth that's an issue in general and it DOES happen in america right now. Where I live this doesnt happen to my knowledge. Why should it? The gov is gonna pay anyway so might as well get it done and get the next patient. You shouldnt have to go into debt to live. That's not humane.

"I don’t think the poor should die, I don’t want the suffering to be left to their fate." Contradictory to the part where you think going into debt is necessary. Being in debt IS suffering. *I* am in debt, and I suffer because of it everyday. And it's not because of healthcare.

When going into debt to heal is your only option as an alternative to possibly dying or suffering on, then making that choice is like having to choose between the black plague and cholera.

"Buy a gun, grow a garden, learn to build shelter, and make plans to invade a neighboring territory and become it’s technocratic warlord after your country collapses into an unlivable hellscape." Making a joke like this at the end of a post about serious topics like this is kind of trivializing the entire issue and a little disrespectful. Don't do that please. It's like you're comparing to Fallout 4 and I shouldn't need to point out why that's bad.

At the end of the day, Im not trying to change your mind bc thats futile and not my job. But I do absolutely intend to fact check claims I know for a fact are BS, or educate myself to make my own judgement, and so should you. If you want to know how truthful smth is, listen to multiple scources (centrist AND leftist) and crosscompare wether what you hear abt certain leftist ideas is in fact true or not.

Or dont and continue living in an echochamber. Your call.

Have a nice day.

[black-mesa-hive-au]

Entry 4

CW: blood, panic attacks

(the recording suddenly starts, showing Calhoun's dorm room and another clone with slicked back hair at the doorway)

Gilbert: Afternoon.

Calhoun: uh-

Gilbert: Do we still have buds in the fridge?

Calhoun: y...yea?

Gilbert: mmmh. (he places his helmet on the hook by the door.) Man, I'm tired. Ughhhhh hungry too. Really takes a lot outta you standing practically all day.

Calhoun:.....

Gilbert: (he slides his shoes off and places them by the door.) Do we still have pizza from yesterday?

Calhoun:....you mean...pizza from last week?

Gilbert: Really? I swear we had pizza yesterday. Don't tell me you ate it all again and you're lying to me. 

Calhoun:.......

Gilbert: Are you even listening?

Calhoun: uh-

Gilbert: Ugh. Fine just don't listen to me.

Calhoun: I- Uh...

Gilbert: You're looking at me weirdly. Like I'm a ghost or something.

Calhoun: W-well! I'm looking at one right now! What the hell happened to you where did you go? You dont just expect to walk back in here and me be fine with it!

Gilbert: I just got back from my shift what are you talking about?

Calhoun: You and Michael have been gone a week! 

Gilbert: Look. I don't know who Micheal is or how you think I've been gone a week but I'd suggest you stop that talk before it really gets to your head. You watch those sci fi flicks too much.

Calhoun: But you-

Gilbert: But I what??? Are you sure you're feelin alright Calhoun?

Calhoun: I'm feeling fine! Just, I thought you were dead and-and...or like you were taken away or something!

Gilbert: Dead? You saw me this morning! We live together! I get off my shift at the exact same time every day. I'm here and I'm breathing.

Calhoun: I just- (he sighs) Fine, let's just go with your story. You just came back from your shift. Okay. So how was your day?

Gilbert: It was fine.

Calhoun: anything interesting?

Gilbert: Oh just a few bits of electric work and helping scientists open their offices again. The usual. (he grabs a beer from the fridge) How about you?

Calhoun: Well, I just did some errands for Dr. Freeman and guarded a bit. It was a pretty slow day, really.

Gilbert: (slowly pulls the beer tab) mm. Average. Wish there was something more to do, ya know.

Calhoun: (takes his helmet off, laying it in his lap causing the camera angle to change) Yea.

Gilbert: Heh, we're gonna be workin all our lives.

Calhoun: Well, if we don't we're a goner practically. (he laughs nervously)

Gilbert: Tell me about it. Look, I know I go on about it a lot but, do you ever think of running?

Calhoun: Like, running away?

Gilbert: Yea.

Calhoun: Of course.

Gilbert:I know you don't want to think about it but- I don't have long. I'm on my decommission year. They could take me any minute. Think about running all the time. Just. Run away somewhere. I don’t know where or with who. Or- or what will happen to me. I don't know if I can leave if I ever get the chance. Like physically- I don't know what would happen to a clone when taken from their natural environment.

Calhoun: I mean, our DNA is human so I'd assume so.

Gilbert: That could be a lie. All of us could be a lie.

Calhoun: Gilbert buddy, you're getting deeper than usual-

Gilbert: We could be like...not human. (he freezes for a second, unblinking)

Calhoun: Gilbert? are you okay?

Gilbert:.....

Gilbert: (he snaps out of it) Like, the thought of staying cooped up here doing the same thing over and over and over is exhausting. The scientists have had lives, they'll make lives and celebrate them. We're made like fish tank ornaments that help with things anyone could do with their own two hands. (he starts to pace) Black Mesa could hire anyone! They didn't need to make us but they just wanted to show off to aperture! How full of it do you have to be to make life like a party trick!? Build something just to throw it away after 3 years of use. We're not batteries. We're flesh and blood like everyone else! All of these things black mesa does for small achievements and pats on the back. Its sickening. I don't want to work here anymore. I've got shocked by those damn wires enough times that I'd probably be dead by now. We're technically not citizens of New Mexico. We're not citizens of anything so how could we stand up for ourselves and sue? (his breathing starts to become more frantic as he speeds up) The scientists would loose their jobs if they did and they're all too cowardly to try. To them we're just robots or something, so why would they care in the first place. We're useful to them. (he crushes his beer, the can contorting and shooting beer everywhere and continues to talk, this time even faster) We're made to be tools to them and not friends. Just objects that are alive. Th-that’s all we are and will be all we are. Just recycled over and over and over and over and over-

Calhoun: G-gilbert?

Gilbert: over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over-

Calhoun: GILBERT?!!?? LISTEN TO ME GIL-

Gilbert: over and over and over aND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER (he begins to grab the sides of his head, screaming and falling to his knees.) OVER AND OVER AND OVER

Calhoun: BREATHE MAN, BREATHE. JUST- (stands up, placing the helmet on the chair)

Gilbert: OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER ANNNNNDDDDDDD OVVVVEREEERRRRRRRRR!!!! (he screeches loudly as his nose begins to bleed)

Calhoun: GILBERT! GILBERT!! 3-3006!!! PLEASE I'M GETTING HELP- (he rushes to the phone on the wall, dialing quickly as Gilbert continues to screech)

Gilbert: (Starts to tug on his hair) OVVVVERRRR ANDD OVERRRRR AND OVERERRRRRR

Calhoun: (on the phone) HELLO? HELLO OTIS???

Gilbert: AAND OVERRRR AND OVERRR AND OV- (he stops, eyes bloodshot and blood still dripping from his nose. He freezes, pupils dilating as he frantically looks around at the ground. He takes a breath and falls to the floor with a thud.)

(The apartment is silent except for Calhoun's heavy breathing)

Calhoun: (drops the phone and looks back) GILBERT? Holy- oh my lord…(runs over to Gilbert, panicking and turning him over, checking his heartbeat.) no no no NO NO NO NO MAN DON'T DO THIS TO ME NOW.

(the sound of the keypad on the other side of the door chimes. Someone barges through the door, looking around frantically for the source of the screaming.)

Sisk: Calhoun? What was that scream-

Calhoun: (looks back to Sisk, showing off Gilbert's lifeless body) G-gg...

Sisk: Holy S--t. W-what the hell happened!? Did he just? Did you? 

Calhoun: No! No! I didn't do anything! He just got to talking a...about like all that existential stuff and just….kinda broke! He just died!!! in front of me!

Sisk: Jesus Christ. I didn't even know he was alive? And then he just...died? Right in front of you?

Calhoun: (nods, sniffling) 

Sisk: You- you don't just do that. Right? Right??? You don't just die that. 

Calhoun: I- I don’t know. He was gone for a week and just came back and immediately got to talking about all this. I...I have to call someone. (he stands up)

Sisk: What are you going to do about the body? The administration isn't going to be kind about a body laying around in your dorm! And where was he all this time?

Calhoun: I have to call (he makes his way back to the phone hanging on the wire) Someone….

Sisk: Who are you going to call??!! We need to do something about him!!! Please Calhoun come to your senses!

Calhoun: (dialing) Hello? Doctor Kleiner?

Dr. Kliener: Hello?? 2295???

Sisk: (Runs up and grabs the phone)

Calhoun: What the hell???

Sisk: You can't call a scientist!!! They'll think you killed him or something! Then you'll be dead for sure! 

Calhoun: No Sisk, you don't get it! I have to call him. This is important!

Sisk: So is Gilbert's dead body!

Calhoun: Look, I trust him to help! I don't have time for this!! Don't make me play rank on you. 

Sisk: WHY DO YOU TRUST HIM? 

Calhoun: OFFICER SISK- CALM DOWN

Sisk: CALHOUN THIS IS ONE OF US HE CAN'T HELP! HE WOULDNT KNOW A THING ABOUT HEL-

Calhoun: OFFICER SISK. I NEED YOU TO STAND DOWN.

Sisk: Bu-

Calhoun: PLEASE. 

Sisk: (he blinks for a second, and backs off reluctantly, looking Calhoun straight in the eye) You are making a horrible mistake. A horrible mistake.

Calhoun: Like you have any better idea!!??

Sisk: YES. I DO!!! WE BURY HIM OURSELVES! CLONE TO CLONE!! THE ADMINISTRATION WOULD PROBABLY JUST THROW HIM OUT!! YOU WOULDN'T LET THAT HAPPEN WOULD YOU? I THOUGHT YOU CARED!! 

Calhoun: I DO CARE!! OF COURSE I CARE!!! WE CAN'T DO IT ALL BY OURSELVES. WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!!

Dr. Kleiner: I guess I'll just wait then….

Sisk: OH? WE CAN'T DO IT OURSELVES? WHAT HAPPENED TO US BEING JUST AS HUMAN?? WHAT HAPPENED TO THE BARNEY CALHOUN THAT HAD HIS PRIORITIES STRAIGHT? DID THAT SCIENTIST YOU'RE CALLING SUCK IT OUT OF YOU??

Calhoun: THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE WHO CAN HELP US!

Sisk: AND THOSE PEOPLE ARE OURSELVES. NOBODY IN THIS FACILITY HAS EVER SHED A TEAR FOR US. WHY WOULD THEY HELP US!!??? YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME. WE GET HURT.

Calhoun: YOU DON'T TALK ABOUT VINCENT THAT WAY. THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT. 

Sisk: You know what? I'm not arguing with you anymore. It's like arguing with a child!

Calhoun: You're arguing with yourself.

Sisk: And so are you. Except this side of you still gives a damn.

Calhoun: (He takes a deep, shaken breath) You don't get it. you don't get it. There is more going on than you know of.

Sisk: Oh. Is that what is making you so stubborn? Some conspiracy again? You know I'm getting a little tired of this. You're always running away from the facts and siding with some random BS that suits you more.

Calhoun: I have facts. I have PLENTY. LOOK. GILBERT AND MICHEAL WERE GONE A WEEK AND NOW GILBERT IS BACK AND DEAD ON MY DORM FLOOR. THERE'S A FACT. GILBERT IS A 3RD GENERATION CLONE, MAN! THEY DON'T JUST DIE LIKE THAT- THE ADMINISTRATION TAKES THEM AWAY! YOU KNOW THIS. (he takes a deep breath) you should know this. Please just listen ,Sisk, I respect you. You're a fine officer and I love you like a brother I don't want to have to keep arguing with you.

Sisk:....

Calhoun: Goddammit man, just please-

Sisk: (he sighs) Fine….just call the scientist. I'll see you tomorrow morning then. 

Calhoun:...alright.

Sisk: (makes his way to the door, hesitantly stepping over Gilbert) He was my friend too you know. Most I'd like is a funeral. (he walks out, the door sliding shut behind him)

Dr. Kleiner: y-you still there? Calhoun?

Calhoun: Y...yea doc I'm here.

Dr. Kleiner: 3009 is….back?

Calhoun: Dead. He's back and he's dead. 

Dr. Kleiner: I'm very sorry about that ,Mr. Calhoun. 

Calhoun: I'm (he nervously laughs) Sorry you had to hear all of that. 

Dr. Kleiner: Its fine, it's fine. Me and Dr. Vance have arguments all the time. Its part of being, well, human. 

Calhoun:.....(stands there)

Dr. Kleiner: Calhoun?

Calhoun: (hangs up and places the phone back. He walks over to the helmet to turn the camera off as tears stream down his face.)

-end of recording- 

[thewritingstar]

Waiting in the Rain

Pairing: Gruvia

School starts tomorrow and although I’m excited, i really dont wanna go. Anyways, sorry for falling off the face of the earth for a little bit and hopefully more fics with be produced. Hope you all enjoy.

This is set when Gray leaves Juvia for the six months to go to the dark guilt. 

Heres your daily cup of angst. Extra angsty. 

----

Guilt.

Guilt was something he was no stranger too. Every since he was little he had carried a burden on his shoulders for years.

Watching his master die in front of him and blaming himself for her death was one thing he had learned to let go. It took time but after years of reliving that nightmare, he knew there was nothing he could have done.

He fought that battle and won. He could be at peace with her now.

But there was certain guilt that eats at you. Makes you unable to sleep and eat properly because it’s tearing you from the inside out.

There’s small reminders that carve into your brain, making sure that you know what you did.

His stomach churned for the worse and he couldn’t even describe the feeling deep in his gut as he approached the edge of the town.

It used to be a sacred place for them. He can remember the warmth of the memories and how much he desperately craves for those moments back. He’d give everything.

But now. As he wonders, it’s the complete opposite. It’s dark and cold, numbing to say the least. And if you were to stay longer than five minutes, you might catch a cold from the storm that rages above.

But he keeps going, passing the shops he once knew that were now abandoned. This place had become a waste land, all because of him.

He walks towards a familiar trail, one he hiked for months. But now it felt more like a death march, and he had no business to be there.

The flowers along the path had suffocated from the water pouring down and since no sun had come through in ages, everything had begun to die. And he was one of them.

He thought that leaving would be fine. He was a fool to think so. He didn’t care how drenched he got as his feet stopped at the edge of a lawn, or well a garden of weeds and muddy puddles.

This pain in his chest was unbearable and looking at the small cottage was almost too much to handle.

He would like to say he had never been a victim of heartbreak, but right now, his heart had shattered beyond repair.

His dark eyes found the way to the window and the tears came as easy as the clouds above.

Instead of the dancing and singing he would see, there was nothing. Just complete darkness that swirled on what used to be his home.

He didn’t know how he managed to walk further, to clutch the handle on the back door. But he didn’t go in, he couldn’t.

He had a mission to accomplish and it was a risk to come back here. But he had to know.

He thought that his undercover work would be easy and that he could slip away in the night and she could go on with her life.

He knew this would happen, but yet he still went.

It was for the greater good, yet the one person he vowed to himself he would protect had now received the worst pain among them all.

His hand came up to the glass as he peered inside. The kitchen was spotless but in a way that looks as if it was never used. The pillows on the couch had been tossed to the floor matching the blankets.

And then his heart stopped, his breath caught in his throat and his spine became glossed over with a chilling threat.

He watched as she came out of a room and toward the kitchen.

Sadness.

Despair.

Heartbreak.

All of those were present on her face and her movements were sluggish and each stepped seem worse than the last.

Even through the glass he could see the bags under her eyes and that they were slightly bruised from the pain she had shed.

He watched as she poured herself a glass of water and just, stared at it. Then walked towards the couch.

He saw he pick up a pillow and hug it to her chest as she rocked back and fourth slowly staring at nothing. Her eyes were a void but before they sucked you in and made you question why the stars were even created when she captured the world in her eyes. Now they were black holes, destroying everything in her way.

He knew he was the reason for this. And to make it worse he had to go out and tell her how he felt.

He really left her after he expressed how much she meant to him and now she had caused this.

—

The window was slightly cracked and even thought the rain he could hear her. She didn’t say much but a few sniffles and sometimes a sob.

He would have to leave eventually but he found that it was a daily routine to go and see her.

He’d walk through the town he once called a home, wondering about the people he knew and thinking about where they left when the rain came crashing down.

He had finally made it to the cabin one day, saying to the dark guild that he was making a three day trip south but in all honesty he was going to see her.

He knew he couldn’t show up on the door step or even say anything. It might just break her. But apart of him wanted her to open the door and see him. A part of him wanted her to be angry.

She had been full of so much love, he thought he was unworthy and maybe pure hatred of him could help cure the guilt. If she never wanted to see him again, just maybe he could bare with the pain.

But for some reason he stood at the back door again. Luckily they were tinted and he knew that she didn’t have enough sense to probably even notice him, that’s how broken she was.

He never said a word or gave off that he was there. It wasn’t right nor fair.

But as he waited to see her come to the kitchen, he heard a cry. Not the usual sobbing or sniffles of the past few days and weeks but the type of tears you shed when all hope is lost.

He knew the moment Ur died was when it happened. And now he caused it.

He didn’t know why he opened the door and didn’t know why he ran towards her bedroom. He didn’t know why he was suddenly watching her cry her heart out and how he feel to his knees and hugged her to his chest and kissed her forehead and clung to her like she was his life line.

He couldn’t tell you how good it felt to have her in his arms and he could feel the cold tears soaking his dark cloak and the way her body trembled from a unforgivable cold that had taken over her body the day he had left.

“I’m sorry.” He began to sob into her shoulder and her fingers magically tighten around his shoulder as he held her.

He kissed her cheek and her forehead. Kissed her cold hands and her nose. And his lips hovered over hers, a weight hung over his head.

Still she had made no noise. And he thought that maybe she thought this was a dream. A delusion and that if she dared to open her eyes, he would be gone.

There were shivers as he picked her up. Carrying her towards the living room and setting her down on her makeshift bed. He picked up the blankets and tucked her in.

“You’re not him.” She whispered and her voice was almost damaged from the silence it was given.

Her heart ached in his chest as she think it was him. And she was right. This version of him was a fraud. One used to get close to dangerous people in missions.

“I know.” And he watched as her eyes had fluttered opened for the first time.

She was still breathtaking.

Her eyes traced his face but her expression remained blank and dark.

“I have to go.” He said and her cupped her cheek and ran his thumb softly across it. Her eye closed again as he knew that was the way he used to get her to sleep. A little affection that made her feel safe and at peace.

He got up with quiet feet and left the house once more.

As the days passed by he found himself visiting more and more. Most day he would just watch over her from the outside and he felt like a stalker but he needed to make sure she was okay, or alive to say the least.

But he stopped going for a while. Making sure to keep up his rep in the dark guild.

—

He found himself there again but she wasn’t there. Panic had set in and he began a goose chase around town, she hadn’t moved from their house in ages, why now.

The rain this time felt colder than usual. Almost like her soul was in each droplet. His mind was racing with thoughts but as the rain came down, he knew she was still alive.

His feet stopped as he saw her. He wanted to race to her, pick her up and spin her but he couldn’t. He had already done to much.

“Gray-sama?” Her voice small and hoarse.

He wanted to sink to his knees and cry out towards the sky. But then other voices joined.

“Juvia!”

Lucy.

Natsu.

Wendy.

Happy.

Carla.

They were here. And he watched in pain as Juvia collapsed in Natsu’s arms and her body had no strength left.

“I’m going to kill Gray when I see him.” Natsu sneered. And he deserved it.

He had to leave before he was spotted but one last voice made his heart break even more.

“It seems she’s been out here for weeks.”

Weeks

He hasn’t been back in three months.

He ran as fast as he could. Past the house, past the vendors and past the forest. He didn’t stop going until he was in his private quarters in the guild. Until his knees finally hit the floor.

His fists came down hard on the wooden boards and he let out a scream and thanked who ever made this castle since it was sound proof.

Anger bubbles within him. Angry at Erza for making him leave. Angry at himself for causing that pain. Anger at the world.

But even when his chest heaved and his knuckles cracked with blood, he couldn’t blame Erza.

He could only blame himself. At this point it wasn’t about the mission.

He realized in that moment when he saw her body fall into the arms of her guild mates that he loved her. And he didn’t know why he hadn’t told her. 

That living with her and training with her had solidified their relationship and that he would do what ever it takes to have that again.

He craved to have her by his side. He knew she thrived during their time of domestic bliss and he would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy it either.

But how was he suppose to face the woman he loved when he did that to her? Causing her a type of heartbreak and pain that left her body hollow and cold.

He had to shake that feeling off, he had a job to do and now this fueled him. He wouldn’t let these past months of suffering ruin the plan and when they were done and all of this bullshit was over, he was going to prove to Juvia that he deserves to have her heart.

All those moments where she said she loved him wouldn’t die in vain and he vowed from then on to give her the life and love she deserves. If she would allow him too.

He rose from the ground, ready to strike at any moment. He knew Lucy and Natsu would find him soon and the battle would commence. He was ready to put an end to this dark guild plan for good. All for the sake of his love.

—-

He couldn’t believe it. She was running towards his with-a smile.

“Gray-sama!” She cheered but soon she fell into battle mode against Blair.

It happened to fast and soon they were alone. He couldn’t wait as he held her hand leading her to the room. They had barely spoken a word since the battle and she could feel how nervous he was.

“Gray” she said as he opened the door.

He closed and before she could speak, he cupped her cheek and rub his thumb along it. This was their thing, a peaceful gesture.

“Please, just let me.” He almost begged and she nodded as he closed the gap between them.

His lips slowly moved with hers and the kiss wasn’t rushed or steady. It was long and slow and painful. Because he wanted their first kiss to be full of bliss and heated love.

But instead she could feel his tears sliding down his cheek and one hand went to face and the other to his neck. She didn’t want him to feel her pain. She couldn’t allow all that pain she endured to cloud his mind but she knew he couldn’t do that. 

“Juvia doesn’t blame you.” She pulled back. 

“I know you don’t.” He stated. Because they were wizards and when you fight for your guild, everyone understands. But she didn’t have too.

“But it’s not okay.” He said and finally he had the courage to look her in the eyes.

They were full of life and love and sparkled brighter than before but they carried a depth of pain. 

“It’s not.” She agreed. “But Juvia knows you did it for the ones you love and even though she suffered for a short amount of time, you did it so we could have a future and she could never hate you for being strong. Gray, you went on a mission, you never truly left me.” She kissed his tears on his cheek. “Plus, Juvia remembers when you came. At first she thought it was a dream but she knew you always were watching.”

A sob escaped his lips and he held her tight, his hand wrapping into her tight curls as he lost his senses. “I love you so much. And I will never leave you again, I promise.”

His kissed her again and this time it escalated into something deeper. Like a craving they had been held hostage from for so long just wishing that they could be back in their private home together. 

He wanted to tell her over and over how much he loved her and as he kissed her again and again, she knew.

---

When he woke up the next morning, the sun was shining bright. Her body was now full of warmth as she snuggled closer to his chest and he felt like he could finally breath again. 

They had both suffered for months on end without each other, but now he knew it was worth the wait. 

----

Hope you enjoyed!!!! 

[thequeenb]

A kamilah x mc fic where mc was kamilah's first love before kamilah became a vampire and was reincarnated? (In the past, mc died protecting kamilah)

"Thats the symbol of rebirth if i recall my college classes correctly" Adrian's assistant said and to be honest it was the first time Kamilah noticed her and she is indeed impressed, but more importantly drawn to her eyes, that she feelt like they are familiar.

"What's your name?" Kamilah asked casually, trying to learn more about her

"Amy, and you are that successful CEO of Ahmanet Financial" Amy added smiling "i was inspired by your work"

Kamilah would usually just roll her eyes and give a cold response but something about her made it impossible so she cracked a smile.

___

After the meeting with Lester, Adrian and Amy, Kamilah was completely focused on the mysterious girl and how magnetic she was. She knew better so she excused herself to talk privately with Adrian to express her concerns.

"Did you notice something odd with your new assistant?" Kamilah said crossing her arms

"Not at all, you dont like her?" Adrian smirked "you couldn't take your eyes off her"

"Please, thats my suspicion, she is to magnetic even for me" she scoffed

Adrian rubbed his chin in thought, he didn't feel anything towards Amy but if Kamilah says so its the truth.

He invited Amy in and she awkwardly stood next to him, her eyes on the floor

"Dont be so shy darling i dont bite..much" Kamilah said teasingly but that only made it worse, Amy blushed and felt more embarrassed than ever.

"You make my assistant uncomfortable" Adrian pointed out to soothe the situation

"Did i do something wrong? Did i fail your test Mr Raines?" Amy asked confused on why she invited her into the conversation.

"Adrian is just fine and no everything was perfect, i am just checking after you saw me and Nicole--"

"Sucking her blood? Yes that's.. yea" Amy looked terrified but then the realisation hit her

"That means you are--"

"A vampire yes" Kamilah finished her sentence rolling her eyes

But the girl gasped feeling more uneasy than before. But Adrian touched her shoulder reassuring her with his smile

Kamilah scanned at her curiously. She reached to stroke her arm for support but a wave of electricity hit her so hard that it brought her to her knees.

"Kamilah!!" Adrian held her as she closed her eyes going far, far away.

___

Being a polemarch was never easy, especially leading wars, watching homes burn and people die. It was so strange, falling in love in those circumstances will always be a mystery to Kamilah but the woman was so magnetic and her energy only pulled her closer to her.

"Evelyn" the woman said, she fought on Kamilah's command but she never had a chance to have a talk. She was so good that she invited her on her tent to discuss the details of their next attack.

"Right Evelyn, so you will take 10 men and go South while we will go sneak behind the re-enforcements to weaken them" Kamilah said demandingly but that didn't stop the woman from protesting.

"Thats dangerous, are you sure you can pull this off?" Evelyn warned her and it surprised her. No one questioned her leading skills or warn her, it was fascinating.

"Are you doubting me?" she approached closer pointing her finger on the woman's chest "never doubt me"

Evelyn smiled "dont play it so tough" she dared to tease the Kamilah Sayeed

"You are different aren't you?" Kamilah gave her a faint smile

___

2 months passed and today was the night before they would put Kamilah's plan into work.

Her and Evelyn spent an awful amount of time together discussing the attack and surprisingly stuff about their life.

"And so i decided to fight on wars, because they took my family away from me" Evelyn said looking at the stars on the sky melancholically

Kamilah knew that pain to well, her brother was taken away from her and she wasn't in control of the situation. She is angry, sad and leading wars brought her peace, revenge, relief.

She dared to stroke her arm sympathetically

"I know what you mean" she signed considering her next words "i never wanted to lead wars, but when my brother didn't come back i needed to get all that range out, i wanted revenge"

Evelyn squeezed her hand tightly "i am here for you" and before Kamilah could do anything she felt a pair of lips on hers.

She pulled away stunned "Evelyn.." but then she shut her up again with a kiss, and another one and another.

___

Kamilah was fixing her armor when she felt two strong arms around her "Think about it, its dangerous" Evelyn said with a pleading tone

Kamilah signed, she turned around to face the woman but it made it worse. Her green eyes were teary and her normal confident posture was replaced by fear and stress

"I promise everything will be just fine" to reassure her she pecked her lips "now get ready to go to your position, and remember if something go wrong send one of your men to us"

Evelyn nodded, trying to pray to gods for Kamilah to be alright.

___

Hiding in their positions Evelyn paced back and forth in stress. Kamilah would ambush the enemies in the time being and she couldn't imagine losing her.

One of the men ran trying to get everyone's attention.

"Eve.. Evelyn..the.. ambush..failed..they knew it..they..they" the man tried to take a deep breath "they attacked us first" everyone gasped but most importantly panicked since they didn't discuss what will happen if the plan fail.

Evelyn's hands became fists in the thought of Kamilah being hurt so she ran to her horse without a word, going alone straight to the lion's den.

___

When she was nearby she could hear metal clicking violently on another, men screaming in pain, bones breaking, smoke filling the air.

But then there she was, Kamilah in the front row protecting her men giving them quick orders. Without hesitation Evelyn took her sword out and ran towards the battle field.

A soldier smirking tried to sneak behind Kamilah but Evelyn's sword dove deep into his chest making him scream.

When Kamilah turned around she gasped seeing Evelyn but she was glad she was there with her. "What are you doing??" she asked as chaos involved around them

"Less talking more surviving" Evelyn pointed out at two men lurching towards them but failing completely.

___

The fight was going successfully that until bolts filled the night sky making a cloud above them. Everyone ran to take cover but Kamilah was far from finding a place to protect herself so she accepted her fate.

Evelyn looked behind her to make sure Kamilah was right there with her but she saw her hopelessly waiting for the bolts to take her life.

Closing her eyes she said a prayer, that until two strong arms pushed her to the ground covering her body. Evelyn gasped in pain, her eyes filled with tears.

Kamilah's eyes widened at the sight. Fresh blood ran from many parts of her body making her scream in pain. The soldiers ran to kill the remain enemies as Kamilah held Evelyn close to her chest, her hand hovering uselessly over her wounds.

"Evelyn why.." she tried to speak but for the first time she was speechless.

"I.. couldn't.. watch you..die" she said winching as the pain became more and more unbearable.

Kamilah pressed her forehead to Evelyn's, tears forming in her eyes. She wanted to say something but she couldn't, she felt powerless

"The great Kamilah Sayeed..never..cries..i am just..a soldier" she said with a faint smile on her lips, trying desperately to keep her eyes open

"No dont say that..you are special..we..we had a connection..i.." Kamilah couldn't possibly put into words that she fell in love with her because she didn't want to admit it

Before she could say anything else Evelyn closed her eyes murmuring something that sounded like i am coming mother.

Kamilah sat there, unconscious Evelyn was to far gone for her to try to save her. Fresh tears ran down her cheeks as the chaos around her faded, the screams echoed on her mind.

___

Kamilah gasped coming back to reality only to see Amy's green eyes. Her eyes widened in recognition, her arm reaching to stroke her cheek "Evelyn.." she whispered making both Adrian and Amy confused.

"I am Amy, remember? Oh my god Adrian what if she forgot everything what--" but Kamilah stood up waving her hand dismissively "none of that, i just didn't feed for a week" she lied, not wanting to talk about her painful past.

Amy approached while Adrian went to fetch a blood bag from his office.

"Why did..why did you call me Evelyn?" She asked curiously but she was hesitant, knowing that Kamilah is cynical.

"Long story" she admitted looking at her eyes again, they were indeed like Evelyn's, she was just as magnetic as her.

Life is giving me a second chance.. Evelyn is reincarnated.. impossible Kamilah thought but then she smiled at Amy "do you want to have dinner with me?" her question sounded forward but she didn't care, life gave her a second chance to love

Amy nodded, her cheeks bright scarlet "Why not" she finally said smiling.

Kamilah felt a warm feeling in her heart after centuries, she finally smiled and felt happy. They both exited the building going for dinner, Kamilah promised to herself to do anything to protect Amy, just the way she wanted to protect Evelyn.

[malcolmwhitly-bright]

I'm hooked to the trope of gil and malcolm being taken together and malcolm being hurt in front of gil. I need more whump fics of malcolm and gil being taken together and gil having to see malcolm hurt. There was a good one on AO3 and I'm hooked to that trope now. Which probably stems from my lack of care from my father so I enjoy seeing a father figure taking care of his son figure, but we dont have the time to get into that

(oof, too close to home. Uh, can’t really do the kidnapped trope so well so I hope this suffices)

JT stops his boss, his own emotions shining in his eyes even as he sternly shakes his head. Gil opens his mouth to curse or to order JT to stand down. The other man simply shakes his head again,” he can handle it, Gil. He’d made as hell if we loose this because we don’t think he can take it.” JT steps away from his boss and Gil can see his detective is itching to storm in too. 

He breathes through his nose, closing his eyes as he hears the sound of Malcolm’s body hitting the ground. He can hear Dani suck in an anxious breath.

“You won’t,” Malcolm gasps over the radio. He’s breathless. “You won’t kill me. You’re a coward.”

Johnson, their main suspect’s, voice cuts through their earpieces. There’s a sadistic sneer in his voice as he declares he will. “Why not? I like pretty little blondes but I think I can make an exception for you and those pearly blues.” His voice is accented by the sound of flesh on flesh. Malcolm’s soft grunts of pain filling the silence as Johnson hits him. 

“That’s-” Malcolm grunts,” that’s very nice.” His breath speeds up,” but I think I’m going to have to decline your kind off-” His breath is knocked out of his lungs, his solar plexus hit. “Stop,” he whispers brokenly. “Please.” Gil glances at the other’s unable to place why Malcolm’s voice is a pitch higher and frantic. “We-”

JT shakes his head, jaw clenched.

“Stop, please,” Malcolm whispers, fear edging the frantic call of his voice but he hasn’t given the call. “You don’t have to-”

Gil grits his teeth. He feels gutted. 

Malcolm cries out softly, biting down a whimper for the sake of the three people he knows are on the other end. “W-Why,” he grunts, watching Johnson glance around for the knife he’d dropped earlier in their consultation. He knows he needs to slip the word in. Johnson likes to rough his victims up before he stabs them to death. Slowly. “Sexually impotent?”

Johnson glances back at him and shakes his head. He finds the knife and holds it up, smiling at Malcolm. “Smile,” Johnson orders, standing over Malcolm. He angles the knife over Malcolm’s heaving chest, swirling the tip just above Malcolm’s tattered shirt. “I think I’m cut you up into tiny pieces, pretty boy.”

JT flinches at the nickname. He makes a mental note to never call Malcolm that ever again. If not the kid’s sake than in hopes that he forgets this memory. The horrible sound of Malcolm’s ragged breathing and grunts of pain. 

“No,” Malcolm holds his breath as the tip of the knife finds his flesh. He trembles, looking between the knife and Johnson’s hand. “Please.”

“Put the knife down!” The room explodes in light and Johnson makes the mistake of standing. Three shots end it all. 

Malcolm lets out a sob, curling his body into a ball. He covers his head with his hands, hiding his tears as he trembles with relief. 

“Kid,” Gil falls to his knees at Malcolm’s side. He pulls Malcolm’s hands away from his face, pulling the other man close. “I’ve got you,” he whispers, rubbing Malcolm’s back. Malcolm comes to his senses just enough to curl into the protection of Gil’s body. Allowing himself the comfort of the other man’s body heat. “I’ve got you, kid.”

“I didn’t think you were coming,” Malcolm whispers, hand curling into a fist around Gil’s shirt. “I thought-”

“Hey,” Gil wipes a tear from Malcolm’s eye squeezing him gently. “I always come. I will always come.” Gil glances up at JT’s booming voice instructs the EMTs to where they are. Shouting curses when they go to Johnson’s fallen side. “Next time,” Gil says,” can you pick a better word?”

Malcolm grins a bloody smile. He shakes his head,” I like impotent.” He grins again, chuckling until the pain in his chest makes the soft sound die harshly on his lips. He swallows thickly and asks,” just say it once Gil. It’s a funny word.”

Gil shakes his head. 

The EMTs pulls Malcolm away. Manipulating his sore limbs until he’s laying on a stretcher off the cold, dirty ground. They press white gauze onto his bloodied flesh and stick an IV in. Malcolm keeps waiting for Gil to cave, asking with those sad blue eyes for Gil to say one simple word.

“Fine,” Gil breathes. He can only hold on so long when Malcolm looks at him like that and knows the kid knows he holds this power over him. “Impotent.” It earns him the softest little smile and Gil can’t help but smile back.

“Funny, right?”

Gil shakes his head,” not even a little bit.”

Malcolm shakes his head, those big blue eyes sagging with exhaustion. He’s more or less aware of the EMT’s roaming hands but he feels as ease. Gil is at his side and watching with a careful eye at everything happening. JT is directing the in-and-outs of the room. Dani is watching the middle of the room, unwavering as she towers over Johnson’s body. He’s safe, they’ll make sure of it. “I don’t believe you.”

Gil can see Malcolm is fighting sleep, his blinking becoming more sluggish with each passing second. “Sleep,” Gil orders placing his hand on Malcolm’s shoulder. “We can argue about your maturity later.”

Malcolm hums eyes closed and head-turning in the direction of Gil’s hand, “ ‘is too cold.”

Gil glances at the EMTs and one of the men stands and retrieves a shock blanket. “He’ll be fine,” he says with a smile, allowing Gil to adjust the blanket over Malcolm. “He’s gonna be sore as hell in the morning but he’s good to go when you’re ready.”

Gil nods his head, hand shifting through Malcolm’s dirty hair. “Just let him rest a moment,” he shakes his head at the sight of his kid. Twenty-years-ago he would have laughed if you’d told him he’d be a father. He would have laughed even harder if you’d told him he’d be raising some rich white kid. Malcolm is so much more than that, Gil knows. He’s stubborn as hell and smarter than what’s good for anybody’s health. 

He takes the kid’s hand, rubbing a thumb across his knuckles. “Damn kid.”

[mad-men-inc]

Fragments from Beyond The Stars -- Rescue.

So ya boi wrote a thing, lmao. Enjoy some Star Wars bullshit! Basically my OCs (along with togruta!Kit) in a universe ive been on and off making for like 2-3 months. Please, dear god, ask me about them and the story if you’re interested. I would kill for you :eyes:

Kit slammed the door open, the woman at the head of the table merely raising an eyebrow at the loud entrance. The man sitting two chairs to her left stood up, his hand going to the blaster hanging off his belt, but between the woman's hand wave and Kit's own blaster aimed at his face, he conceded and left through a side door, paying a single glance back to the woman.

"Kit, I presume?"

"Where's Sam." It was barely a question, the hardness in Kit's voice making it clear that they werent here to play the woman's game.

"Tut tut, little Fighter. Not even going to ask how I know?"

"I know enough about you to know you pulled any intel from Sam's head, so tell me where she is before I pull the answer from yours." The response was growled, and the woman.. laughed. She tilted her head back, elegantly, and laughed to the ceiling.

"Oh, that's precious! You have just the fire I expected you to- you're just like she described." Her tone was mocking, teasing, light. Too fucking light. Kit fired their blaster, right for her cocky fucking face, but she held up a hand and stopped the laser in midair, halfway between her and Kit.

"Now, now. That's just rude," the joking tone gave way to offense, and the laser fell to the table's surface, sizzling out. "Play nicely or I'll have my men kill your little girlfriend."

Kit growled lowly, any fear at facing a Force user snuffed out by the threat to their friend- leader- partner. Still, they took the message, holstering their blaster and crossing their arms over their chest defiantly. A knife settled into each hand, slipped from the wrist guards they wore. "Fine. Take me to her."

The woman stood up, her hands resting delicately, balancing on her fingertips, against the table's surface. "Why would I do that, when it's more fun to keep you in suspense? She cried for you, you know," she circled the table, closing the distance between herself and Kit, one hand trailing over the table next to her. "She screamed and begged for you to stay away. To let her die, so you could stay free. Unfortunately, you didnt get the message-" a mocking pout "-apologies about that."

Kit didnt believe this woman, no matter how much that sounded exactly like their Sam. They wouldn't believe a word she said.

She continued, before they could interject any protests though. "I silenced her of course, dont worry. Couldnt have her scaring you off, now could i?" She was closer than Kit would like, her free hand coming up to flick at the tip of their montrals.

Kit finally uncrossed their arms, both hands shoving towards the woman full force. The blades sunk into her sides, the woman shouting and sending a Force wave into Kit. They flew backwards, through the door they had left open. The knives remained in the woman's sides.

They stood upright against the wall, ignoring the pain in their back, as they moved down the hallway. They opened every door searching for the woman they came for, their team leader, their fucking girlfriend, finally finding her in a tiny closet-like room that had become a makeshift cell, at the end of the hallway.

Kit's hands found her shoulders, helping Sam sit upright. As soon as she saw Kit's face, she started crying, shaking her head frantically.

"Go, go go go, go, get out of here, go-" she was begging, the words almost incoherent with how slurred and soft they were. Sam was.. out of it. Her eyes were unfocused and she was hardly breathing, she was covered in bruises and cuts and burns, she looked like she had barely eaten anything with how much thinner she was-- and she was trembling in Kit's hold.

They shook their head without a word, untying Sam's hands and easing her up with the wall as support."We have to go, Sammy," Kit was trying to hide their frantically beating heart, keeping their voice steady and level.

"Cant- cant, we cant, im- i cant go-" she was crying, shaking her head more, her chest was jerking with silent sobs that was followed by a flinch every time.

"I dont care if you cant walk, I’ll carry you, we have to go," Kit was getting nervous, glancing behind them at the doorway before slipping their arm under Sam's legs so they could scoop her up.

"Bomb- im- I'm a b-bomb, I cant go, its-- distance, I can't, I cant- Kitty, you have to go, please, please go-" her shoves were weak against Kit's chest and arms, but they got the point across well enough.

They stood upright anyway, keeping hold of Sam. "What's the range?" They moved out to the hallway, treading carefully as they waited for the answer.

"Wh- about the ship size, dont- cant leave it, she said- said itll kill anyone in 15- 15 feet, its tied to the- core. Core, core, if we break it-"

"You two arent breaking anything." Eliza spoke from behind the pair, Kit turning on their heels to face her. She was holding one arm across her sides, her other hand holding a lightsaber to the side. The weapon was off, but Sam's breath still caught and she started shaking, pressing against Kit tighter.

"Drop me and run- I've got her, please go-" she tried to tell Kit, but the togruta didnt pay her any mind. They ducked into the room that was beside them quickly, slamming the door behind them with their foot.

The room looked just like the one they had found Liza in before, so they ran for the side door and sprinted down the new hallway. The comm link on their wrist beeped once, Sam reaching over and activating it with a shaking hand.

"Kit, what's the story?" Evan's voice filtered through the device, Sam nearly sighing in relief. The gang was here to help. Maybe they did have a chance..

"I need you or Jason to pull up the schematics. There's a ranged bomb on Sam- we have to blow the core if we want to get her out of here alive." Kit spoke evenly, looking around them for some kind of sign that they were going the right way towards the core of the ship.

"Can never be easy with you fuckers, huh?" Jason spoke up, his voice riddled with amusement. He didnt wait for a retort, immediately setting about calling directions for Kit to take. 

The pair were lucky in avoiding trooper patrols, and Liza had seemingly fucked off, so they arrived at the core drive quickly. Kit set Sam down by the door, giving her the comm link while they fished through their backpack for the explosive devices they always carried now. Too many times had they come in handy, for them to forget to bring a few.

Sam took the blaster from Kit's side, her grip strong but her aim shaking as she pointed the weapon at the door. If anyone walked through it, they would be dead -- probably.

Soft beeps echoed through the room as Kit placed the devices, all synchronizing with their detonator. They would need to get out of there first, get to their own escape ship before setting this place on a path to hell.

The door slid open, Sam opening fire until a strong Force had her finger stilling on the trigger. Kit ducked behind the massive core, cursing silently as Eliza strolled into the room and disarmed Sam. She wasnt holding her sides anymore, and Kit realized she had probably taken a hypo-syringe; she was fucking healed.

Sam trembled in the hold, immobile and hating every second of it. Eliza hummed, the same tune as always- Sam flinched and immediately squeezed her eyes shut as her whole body tensed up.

"That'a girl. You know it was very dumb of you to think you're getting out of here. And your actions.." the lightsaber ignited, Sam whimpering quietly as the red light flickered over her face. "Have consequences. Open your eyes, Samantha. I want you to watch this one. I want your little partner to watch this one."

She was cocky, far too cocky, and Kit snuck around the core to get closer to her. She wouldnt fucking touch their Sam any more- except she did.

The blade rested on Sam's side, right where one of Kit's knives had gone into the woman, and their breath hitched. Sam was lucky her goal wasnt to kill her. Or.. was she?

She shrieked, her muscles straining under the Force hold- she wanted to get away, to move, to run, to something, anything, but she was just as helpless now as she had been when she was first fucking taken.

"And what a shame it is theres nothing you can say to stop me this time. I don't want your information anymore. I want your fucking screams." And scream she did, as the laser was finally lifted up, only to be pushed against her other side.

Kit flinched at the sound, before sucking in a breath and moving to get behind the woman. They ran at her quietly, yanking her backwards so the blade left Sam. As soon as it was off, they jumped on her back and fought to drag her to the ground.

Liza slammed her back against one of the core relays, Kit wincing but not letting go. Their arm wrapped around her throat, pulling tighter as the pair fought each other off.

Finally, Liza snagged Kit in a force hold, throwing them off of her back- they slid across the ground and stopped next to Sam. Sam, who was able to move but still stuck frozen. Terror and pain clashed with their desire to protect her partner, and her trembling hands were of no use. Kit seized up next to her, as Liza got her bearings right.

Sam recognized the straining of their muscles, the same way hers would move when she was fighting off the Force. She had to move. 

Liza was coming closer, her hand closing around the hilt of her lightsaber. Sam had to move. She had to move. She had to move- the blaster was in her hand, she pulled the trigger and nailed Liza in the shoulder, the woman yelling in pain and outrage. Her grip on Kit released, but she was close enough anyway that she sent her boot straight into Sam's stomach, the girl doubling over and coughing.

"Bad. Dog." She growled, and Sam yelped as another well-aimed kick landed on her already broken ribs. Another, aimed at the fresh burns on her sides. She curled up, shielding her face but otherwise letting the Sith hurt her. Her chest jerked with sobs, and soft apologies filtered from her lips, muffled by her arms.

Kit had snatched up the blaster and gotten out of the way as soon as Liza had let them go, horror stilling their hand as they barely heard their girlfriend apologize for saving their life- what had happened here..? Did they even want to know?

They shook their head, firing twice into Eliza's back. The woman fell forward with a cry, her body curled over Sam's.

Sam sobbed and trembled and stilled, waiting for someone else to move first. Liza wasnt dead, of fucking course she wasnt, but she would be soon enough anyway. Kit holstered their blaster again, pulling Sam out from under the bitch. She flinched but stayed quiet, her eyes shut tight and her face pressed against Kit's chest.

Together, they ran, getting farther from the core and closer to the hangar that Kit had gotten in through. It passed by in a blur, Sam dazed and afraid, so much smaller than Kit was used to in every sense of the word. She was quiet and curled in on herself, she was thin and shaking, pale and... afraid. She was afraid.

That was... new. Not new, not really, Kit had seen her more afraid when it was their life on the line, but this was a terror that didnt go away, that left a haunting look in Sam's eyes and a bad taste in both of their mouths. This was a fear that would follow her, they were sure.

The little ship that they called home (more of a home than the Resistance base anyway) picked them up with a quick fly-by, Kit and Sam landing hard on the loading ramp as they lept to safety. Jason helped them inside, Kit setting off the explosives just before they flew away. Sam shook harder as the explosions sounded behind them, her wide eyes never leaving the hangar door, unblinking and unmoving.

They flew away for a few moments, waiting for the hyperdrive to warm up and prepare (and likely making sure Sam wasnt about to explode), before they jumped to light speed. Sam finally, finally blinked and looked away from the window, as the white lines that would be stars passed by, slowly making her dizzy.

JA-K13 scanned her for injuries as soon as she turned, the robot giving a false sigh and muttering about not being able to fix this mess, before he set about getting her to sit down so he could try and do exactly that.

Kit sat by her side, their eyes roaming over the tons of wounds that they knew would only get worse if they didnt get back to base soon. Sam needed a real medibay..

Sam, for her part, pretended as if everything was okay. She faked a close-lipped smile, her ever-shaking hand resting on top of Kit's between them. Neither spoke.

Neither wanted to discuss what had happened back there. But Kit couldnt look away from the tear tracks running over Sam's cheeks, and Sam couldnt stop seeing flashing images of Kit, dead at their feet, the blaster in her own hand and smoking.

Kit knew they were lucky to escape alive, but Sam wasnt sure they truly had escaped. After all, the past always caught up, didnt it? And hers was especially persistent.

[plounce]

for those who dont know: telemarina is my oc universe. urban fantasy, constructed as an rpg video game narrative so there is a protagonist, multiple plot routes, and romanceable characters. i've been playing around with it for about 2 years now!

people with magic are organized into covens, which provide a unique pact that grants its signer certain magical abilities. the more demanding the pact, the stronger the powers. the more you sacrifice the more you get. some covens prey(ed) on people this way to control them with promises of more and better abilities. there are punishments for breaking those contracts.

seven years ago there was a war between covens that ended with the establishing of the entente, kind of a UN of covens. rules and laws and regulations were drawn up for all covens. the war caused so much destruction that the mundane government stepped in and threatened to take control, so it was either lose traditional magical sovereignty or establish an organizational body. it is illegal to be in a coven that is not part of the entente. some covens that came out as losers of the war were banned entirely.

the political tension of the plot is whether to ally with the entente and keep the peace, or to try to dissolve the entente. the entente is not perfect - shitty coven leaders were pardoned to keep their allegiance, it has certain rules that suck, it doesn't fix the things that actually need to be fixed because coven leaders keep voting those measures down, people still fight despite the laws, etc - pros and cons.

there's also the threat of like... void portals opening up in areas of the city heavily blighted by the conflict. why are they opening up now? why are horrible monsters being released from them? is it the necromancy coven (rich and protected by the entente but still creepy (necromancy is a newer field of study bc there's a cultural revilement of it, but it's very profitable))? is it pissed off losers of the pre-entente war? something else that exist in the cosmic cycle of magical eclipses? crazy! go fight it

it's all lesbian romances.

vee (metalmancy coven leader and sweet woman - afraid of getting hurt again, seeks stability, thinks she has to be the one to take care of others but is scared to let down her strength so she can be taken care of)

iris (diplomat and messenger of the entente who as such is forbidden from having any favorites - very kind, but has to hold back from deep connections, is devoted to her city and her people but is scared this all isn’t worth her cost)

marian (brilliant arcanist and inventor, too clever - mad scientist trope & views her intelligence as her only trait that gives her worth to others, low self esteem)

cora (unwilling psychic who suffers severe magic migraines from her condition of constantly hearing all the otherworld noise - doesn’t think she can live a happy life)

cam (working to make the entente more egalitarian and progressive, elemental powers (lightning focus), stone butch - got broken up with by the widow two years ago and is still really hurt by it, just wants to take care of someone)

the widow (second gen prodigy of the necromancy coven, slowly being lost to her powers and her pact, extremely goth - broke up with cam two years ago to attain her position, is slowly losing her ties to the outside world, also her body is slowly starting to physically die)

rosé valentine (amazon erotica writer and thief, was part of a coven that was punitively dissolved by the entente and her life was kind of ruined by that - angry, wants revenge but mostly just to get by)

there's also a handful of vampires, a fey paraworld, catacombs, and a lot of gay married npcs.

[littlenightma]

Heyhey if you write m/m could I request something involving Marlow and a male human that he becomes infatuated/obsessed with so he convinces him to let him be his sire? I dont mind whether it's headcanons or a oneshot. Ty!

Author’s Note: Hell fucking yeah, my first Marlow request. I was hoping someone would request him eventually. And yes, I write m/m, but I am not too experienced with writing them so I may be a bit rusty. I hope that’s okay ^_^

Fandom: 30 Days of Night (movie)

Title: Will You So Kindly Be Mine?

Gif Owner: thefirstmover

Word Count: 3k+

Warnings: Nsfwish content. This turned out longer than I had intentionally planned. I did not run this through Grammarly because I was so eager to get this out so mistakes could very well be present.

Will You So Kindly Be Mine?

It had been several hours since the daylight had gone and the night was at its peak when the shadow of a tall figure slinked through the thick brush of a small, rural town. Six other followed suit the first, speeding past the vacant streets. Every once in a while, a working street lamp would catch a glimpse of their unearthly forms.

The leader, Marlow, had just fed on a human man of about thirty-five, small stature, and a repugnant body odor. No one would miss the sorry excuse of a man, not that Marlow would have cared anyway. His blood was fortunately ately the complete opposite to the man’s rancidity. Abeit, no matter how filling the man’s blood had been, it was nothing compared to that of his human’s.

Reaching his designation, Marlow told the others to stay close, but were free to roam if they so pleased. Happy that they were not condemned in, they eagerly raced away. All except one who chose to stay near his leader.

Approaching the house, he climbed up the side to the second story roof, peeking his head into the bedroom window to see if his human was still awake.

The lights were off signaling that the boy was already in bed. Marlow opened the window quietly, letting himself in with ease. The boy was sleeping soundly. Good.

The dark blue sheets wrapped around his body were snug tight around his body, showing off the outline perfectly in the moonlight.

Marlow had never smelled a human’s blood that held such a sweetness to it that it could rival melted chocolate on a hot summer’s day. He stumbled upon this human one night whilst hunting. He never believed in fate, considering it a fool’s blinded path. Consider him that very fool.

Marlow licked his lips, the urge to sink his cock deep into the boy was immense, but he had to keep himself in check. His sexual desire, for the first time in years, was outdoing any of his vampiric urges to the point where he found himself eager to sate them.

Marlow bowed his head to the boy’s ear, his cold breath sending chills down his spine. In response, the boy bucked his hips upwards, his body recieving a wave of goosebumps all while his eyes remained unopened.

You sense me, don’t you, young one?

“Marlow?” the boy asked sleepily.

“Hello, my prince.”

The boy felt his insides warm and his belly coil at the familiar accented voice caressing his ears. Marlow nuzzled the boy’s hand that reached to grasp the lapels of his suit, pulling him closer.

“I was worried you wouldn’t come tonight. You’re late.” the boy frowned, distinctly eyeing his clock once the haze of drowsiness wore off.

“Forgive me, I had some things to handle, but am here now.” Marlow nuzzled the hand to his face reassuringly, letting the human’s warmth heat his pale cheek. Marlow’s chest constricted in pain the more he spoke. Still, after weeks of speaking the human tongue, his words were still slow to pronounce and his voice was forced like exhaling compressed air.

The boy understood what these particular things were. Marlow fed himself and his clan before visiting him so his hunger wouldn’t drive him insane. A life was taken so his wouldn’t be. The small droplets of blood on Marlow’s usuaully white shirt told just as much.

“I have an offer to make to you, an agreement you could say,” Marlow smiled, masking his anxiety.

“What is it?”

A few moments ticked by as Marlow went over on how to explain his next question without shocking the boy. Earnestly, Marlow was experiencing trepidation at the thought of being rejected. He did not take rejection well, particularly from those he had his sights on.

“Do you know what a sire bond is?” he questioned finally.

The confusion was evident on the boy’s face as he shook his head. Marlow chuckled amusingly at this when he explained.

“It’s a bond between two supernatural beings, one who has just been turned. You see, when one is turned in a specific way, they become bonded to the one who created them. That bond makes it where the sire is compelled to do whatever their maker wishes them to. The creator deals a strong claim in return.”

The boy understood where this was going regardless of being unsure about the whole process. He had wondered what Marlow was going to do with him after so much had went by. He’d get older and die or worse, Marlow could get bored and leave him all alone. This, however, seemed more complicated than just a simple bite. It was more intimate.

“So...I’ll be one of you then?” he asked.

“In order for the bond to occur, yes.” Marlow replied simply while he internally hoped that the boy would accept his offer and most importantly, himself.

“What if I don’t want the bond? Just a vampire? Is that possible?” the boy asked, testing the water of his choices.

“It is possible...you do not need to bond to become a vampire,” Marlow said slowly, slightly allowing the disappointment to filter.

The boy was silent. “Can I say no?”

Marlow sucked in a breath. “You may. Is that what you want?”

His answer took the boy back. He figured the vampire would have given a final ‘no’, not ask him what he wanted, but it did give him a sense of control over a situation he clearly had no control over, even for a few decieving moments.

The boy cocked his head, “I am not sure, honestly. But you want me to choose the first option, right? Why?”

He’s teasing me. His eyes tell all.

Marlow smirked. He ran a long fingernail up the boy’s leg, inching closer and closer to the member resting on the boy’s thigh making him suck in his breath.

“I’d not dare deny such a delicacy.”

“Hey, stop that! I am being serious,” the boy grumbled, lightly smacking away Marlow’s hand that was trailing along his leg.

Marlow seized his movements. “As am I. Your blood called to me the second I smelled it in the air all those months ago and I don’t want to lose that,” he replied deadly serious. He walked over to the window and crossed his arms behind his back, deep in thought.

“I’d be like I was killed all over again if I were to lose you.”

“You can’t really mean that,” the boy said sheepishly.

Marlow turned sharply, his black eyes like steel. “I do not lie. You mean more to me than I had anticipated. I had originally planned on killing you with time, but obviously that has changed.”

“Will it hurt?” he whispered.

Marlow’s eyes softened. “Yes, excruciatingly so. Do you trust me?”

The question was not as simple as it had been relayed. The logical, most morally sane answer would have been “hell no!” It was easy enough to say, but he could barely get a single word past his lips. He knew the right answer. That answer was not the the one he chose.

“Yes.”

With the swiftness and agility of a feline, Marlow climbed on top of the boy, unintentionally lining his hips with the younger man’s. He could feel the present bulge in his boxers. This only made Marlow’s lust heighten. Alas, if he lost control, he could potentially hurt his human and his plans for a claim would be spoiled.

Marlow bent his head, nuzzling the boy’s neck. He could hear the blood rushing and the vein in his jugular pulsating rapidly. How easily he could sink his fangs all the way through, tearing skin and muscle to drink the delectable red liquid until he busted.

“Will you so kindly be mine?”

The boy inhaled deeply and exhaled loudly. “Make me yours, Marlow.”

Placing a large hand on the underside of the boy’s jaw to keep him from moving, Marlow moved his mouth to his neck, taking a long and deep inhale in a mental preparation for the bite. If he bit too long or too deep, the damage could be fatal.

His fangs elongated a few centimeters to allow easier access to the jugular vein. They narrowed towards the end so the knick would feel like that of a needle.

He then angled his jaw upwards more. Taking the boy’s shaking hand into his, Marlow whispered soothing words into his ear just as his fangs sunk into the skin, breaking both the mental and physical barriers.

The boy’s eyes rolled in the back of his head, his mouth opening in a soundless scream. The pain was unbearable and the pleasure was both unfathomable and unexpected. His cock felt heavy and he wanted nothing more than to feel any sort of friction to rid himself of it. Marlow noticed the growing bulge in his peripheral. Taking advantage and feeling more possessive than usual, his ice cold hand slipped into the boy’s boxers to wrap around his hot member, flicking his wrist to jerk him suddenly.

Overcome with overstimulation, the young man’s screams of pleasure were heard by the whole brood from outside, including those that were miles far. Some assumed Marlow had finally killed the human, while the one who stayed close remembered what the screams of ecstasy sounded like in his human years and smirked to himself.

Good for you, Marlow

Fully bonded and the venom taking it’s sweet time, Marlow retracted his fangs, licking the sweet blood that dribbled down from his chin. His other hand released the softening member, bringing his fingers up to his mouth to mix the boy’s essence with the blood in a strangely erotic combination, not wasting a single drop.

He began to get up from the bed when he felt his wrist being tugged at. “Ma-Marlow. Don’t, ah, le-leave me please.”

“Do not fret, I am not leaving. Your body needs to rest as it adjusts to the change as it will become more painful. Now sleep.” Marlow commanded softly.

Falling under the bond’s influence, he held onto Marlow’s wrist until his eyes finally closed from exhaustion.

Marlow went to the window and whistled where his most faithful met him quickly. He explained that he had successfully acquired a new member to the clan so they will be staying near the house for a few weeks before his sire was healthy enough to leave with them. Nodding, the vampire sped off into the night to inform the others.

Marlow climbed into bed next to his newborn, curling his body around him to feel him when he were to stir from the pain. Settled, he set watch, his heart feeling the fullness of love after so many decades of succumbing to the emptyness.