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#he can quote scott pilgrim as much as me
ceruleanfuckup · 1 year
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So I had a fantastic date tonight.
#it was a gym date and the first time we were meeting each other so i was nervous about it but it turned out to be really really nice#he's new to the poly stuff and the way that he spoke about it told of an emotional and intellectual intelligence that was so fuckin hot#he's really cute and we have a kind of shocking amounts of crazy passions that are exactly the same#he can quote scott pilgrim as much as me#he has dice tattoos#he got really excited when i gave him the origami ball i made while bored in a meeting today and wouldn't stop fidgeting with it#we got dinner afterwards and talked a lot about a lot of different things about each other and it was just really nice#and he told me i have the prettiest brown eyes 🥺#he also said that he showed his husband my pictures and he was like 'damn he looks like he has a strong stomach.not abs but like a strongmn#and i got SO EXCITED#i pointed out my gym crushes to him because i wanted to test the jealousy waters and he reacted very well#he answered my questions with a level of thoughtfulness and contemplation that i felt deeply attracted to#i just think I'm going to fall for him really hard and I'm very very excited about it#my love life has been... lackluster recently for a lot of different reasons#and I'm so fucking excited to have someone that i can be excited about who is just as excited about me#I've been craving that for so long#I'm just thrilled and looking forward to the next date#we're going to be talking a lot#I'm gonna be a little sad for a second. the person who i thought was my stream of consciousness has shown me that he doesn't really care#and that's been hard for me to come to terms with. we haven't even had a conversation about it#but he's been the only person that I can tell things to when i get excited about something#and i don't feel like i have that. so I'm writing in a Tumblr post about this because I don't feel like i have anyone#to get excited with me about things#hopefully that will change soon. I'm very hopeful about him.#just please. whatever deity is out there. please let me find some happiness here. i have been craving and wishing for way too long#personal#edit: another very very good sign is that he's much smaller than me and a trans man who is getting back into the gym#but he didn't seem intimidated by my size and was even comfortable taking flexing selfies with me after.#if existing around me or in that setting triggered any physical insecurities#he didn't show it. which was a big change from the ball of anxiety i saw when walking into the gym. I'm just impressed in a few ways
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centrally-unplanned · 6 months
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The thing about morality is that it only matters when it's real. Discussions of rules or norms for what is right or wrong are almost always, at some level, illusions, approximating reality and guiding decisions in an uncertain world - which does not make them useless, just contextual. Profaning god in your bedroom can never be “wrong” - there is no one to hear you, no one to be hurt by it. You can only show something is really wrong from the intentions of the actions and their results.
So with that out of the way, lets talk about Knives Chau - and specifically, how the comic vs the anime handled that part of the story.
Scott Pilgrim vs The Reification of Dating a High Schooler
There is an extremely pervasive meme in Scott Pilgrim discourse that our titular Scott is a scumbag. Our returning whipping boy the Kotaku article loves this idea, describing Scott’s “detestable behavior” and wondering “was it too subtle the first time about Scott being an absolute shitbag?”. There is this viral headline screenshot from an interview floating around right now riding that same line:
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Which is, of course, pretty much false. Its up to you in the end, “shitbag” is a subjective description, but the story just isn’t about events that would be described that way. Its the story of a guy getting over an awful ex, hurting some people, then meeting a new person, and realizing step-by-step what it takes to be their partner and levelling up as a person each time he does. He starts off broken, and Ramona of course is just as broken - getting better is their mutual arc. And its fundamentally about relationship drama - those stakes don’t make you a scumbag lol, just clueless, unless you are terminally online and don’t know what real stakes are.
I will let O’Malley get the last word in with his quote the writer of that interview is hilariously trying to torture into his headline:
There's a bit of, like, young people see Scott Pilgrim a certain way, and, you know, there's a lot of, like, 18-19-year-old fans that are really judgmental of the character. They're like, "Oh, he's a bad person. I would never do that." But I always tell them, like, get back to me when you're 25 or 30, tell me how your 20s went. Were you a bad person? Everyone has to make choices and do things in life that maybe they're not going to be proud of later.
Scott is a scumbag the way everyone is - you yourself will likely commit similar sins; that at least seems to be the authorial intent, and I agree with it.
So how does dating Knives Chau slot into this?
Despite the memes, age, in fact, is just a number - two consenting people dating does not a sin make. The reason dating underage people is bad is because of its consequences, not the categorical imperative. So what are the consequences of dating Knives Chau in the comic?
Knives is, as a consequence of dating a guy who is simply via his age able to appear so much cooler than her peers to her, absolutely obsessed with Scott. She worships his band:
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She starts aping his taste in music and interests; she slots herself into his circle of friends, who don’t relate to her, even after their breakup (often drinking her way through it):
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She totally spirals after he cheats on her and leaves her, blaming everyone but him; she is wounded and hurt for months, a year, over a relationship that lasted weeks:
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Knives Chau is a literal poster child for why you should not date a high schooler. She is, at every turn, emotionally not ready to date someone who is not at her own level of social development, and is deeply affected by it. It is, sometimes, played for laughs - that is the nature of the comic, everything is played for laughs, but I would have given it a bit more dramatic space myself - but over the course of the story Scott himself realizes how much of an ass he was to her, and how he didn’t take what happened seriously.
The reason I view this with charity is what Scott did to lead to this - he met a cute girl on the bus! He was deeply hurt and kind of numb in life, and found someone who was safe and easy to talk to. He never attempts to kiss her (she starts trying to kiss him which he repeatedly rejects) they don’t even hold hands, and it lasted a few weeks. He knew deep down, pretty much immediately, it was fake:
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Then he met an actual person he liked, and with some browbeating from Wallace agreed to break up with her, but chickened out for a day. Then the next day he decides to break up with her, and she drops the L bomb before he can, so he instantly ends it. It is really awkward for everyone involved.
Pushing off an awkward and uncomfortable conversation resulting from a dumb decision you made on a whim for a week - god I relate to that, that’s everyone! If you think it isn’t you I think you're lying. Its why this relationship is so interesting in the comic - Scott is always one step removed from it, putting it at abeyance, and the fact that something so minor to him is so destructive to her is a really good portrait of how these kinds of things happen. Its so easy to hurt someone when you don’t even know what the stakes are, and when its coming not from malice, but from weakness. Its a very good portrayal of a bad relationship because its bad in a relatable way, even if as a story is a bit more dramatic than is typical. And its a great portrayal of how fraught age gaps can be - this bad relationship is part of what makes the comic a good story.
But its 2023, we don’t give a shit about any of that anymore!
O’Malley in the same interview discusses the cultural shift around these kind of relationships:
I felt like in this day and age, I had to provide clarity on that [relationship]. Because when I wrote the first books, I took it for granted that people would understand that dating a high schooler was a bad thing. But on the internet, in this day and age, people are like, "He's dating a high schooler. That's terrible!" Like, that's pretty much what I say on page 1 of the book. But I try to spell it out a little bit more this time.
He isn’t telling the full story though - it was bad in 2004, but not bad the way it is today. Its dubiousness was mitigated by its frequency; people were doing this kind of shit all the time. Scott Pilgrim is a bass guitarist in an indie band; fucking groupies is like built into the cover charge. Half the problem Scott has in dating Knives is that she is the wrong kind of 17-year-old - had Scott met her at 1 am in the aftermath of a Born Ruffian’s concert at the Whippet Lounge knocking down shots off the back of her fake ID, no one would have even noticed. Hell, no one does notice; there is someone who actually makes out with a drunk 17-year-old Knives Chau in the comic Scott Pilgrim, and isn’t Scott Pilgrim:
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No one cares about Kim’s inebriated petting session here; that is 10% because she is a Girl and Girls Can’t Be Predators, 40% because she isn’t the main character, and 50% because Kim Pine’s dating history is not a useful proxy battleground for GamerGate-adjacent nerd culture wars in ~2014; but that is road that goes directly to hell, so let's veer back.
The point, of course, is that in 2004 this is a crime flecked with normality, something your friend would do and you would maybe just cock an eyebrow at:
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Its not that in discourse today - it is radically more condemned. It is not a contextual sin, but an original sin. It underwent a process I am calling reification - where it goes from being just a shifting descriptor of reality, to a thing in itself, with a defined (reified) meaning. And to be clear, that is in a lot ways on net a good thing? The reality is that, despite everyone’s protestations, there are today thousands of 17-year-olds taking the L line out to a gig at the Brooklyn Steel and going down on a 25-year-old guy they just met in a back alley off Frost St who swears he’s a “drummer in a sick new band” that played here “just last week”, he promises, and she is having a great time, bragging to her friends about how hot his tattoo was, and then shipping herself off to Cornell next year to start on her pre-med track with barely a memory. But for every dozen of those, there is at least one person who is deeply, deeply hurt, a Knives Chau who never deserved this. The rest can have a slightly worse time, its probably worth it.
That does not make it a categorical imperative, though - the reification has masked that truth. The crime comes from the context - those other girls aren’t victims, they would laugh at you for suggesting they were. But in 2023, Scott Pilgrim Takes Off is no longer concerned with context. It is telling you, right to your face, that Scott is a bad dude. Over and over and over - jokes from the Evil League about “wow, I thought we were evil”, its not subtle.
Yet meanwhile, Knives Chau is, like, fine? She dates Scott, is totally into him, and then literally in the middle of his funeral forgets about him for Envy crashing it:
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Picks up the bass and has yuri-inflected playtime with Kim the literal next day:
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And less than a week later is pitching an off-broadway musical adaption of Scott’s life to a billionaire Matthew Patel - I can’t explain that okay, I’m as confused as you are.
She is mad at Scott, sure, but she is over it in a matter of days. Hell, notice how she was already a fan of the Clash at Demonhead now? There is no scene of Scott introducing her to his kind of music. He didn’t change her. By the end she is a member of his band and they are totally chill:
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This is, again, about a week or two later.
Knives is not an important character in this show, way less than in the original, this is no grand sin. But I still find it very interesting: O’Malley is wrong. He “spells it out” way less in this version when it comes to the actual consequences of Scott’s actions. Everyone’s verbal condemnations are substitutes to replace the real damage his actions dealt in the comic. Scott is a better person this time, in a world that has universally agreed he is worse (still not a good move ofc). Even Scott’s moment of apology to Knives about their dating is so tepid its almost Straussian:
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Its ‘frowned upon’…which is not the same thing as saying it was wrong! I don’t think this is intentional, its just funny, but its a nice capstone nevertheless.
And it had to be this way, not just for media in general, but for Scott Pilgrim in particular. Not only are sexual crimes far more reified today, but Scott Pilgrim’s sin of dating a high schooler is reified as well - its the first piece of discourse everyone encounters about it. Its the ur-debate of the franchise. The idea of actively engaging on this point, and digging deeper into it…its too hot, too controversial. Way better to shy away from it, disown it. The discourse wrote this part of the script over the course of a decade; its not something the creatives had any say in.
Honestly they should have just gone all the way - just make Knives 19. Then how tepid it is wouldn’t be a distraction anymore. Scott can just be an asshole for cheating on her, that would work fine. If you aren’t going to commit to the reality of these things, you shouldn’t bother with it at all.
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Hey Alex 👋
What are some movies you’ve really enjoyed in your life?
My cousin actually asked me yesterday what I though the “greatest film of all time” was, and I said I am not qualified to make claims on that level… but movies I enjoy, now THAT’S something I can do!
The Mitchels vs. The Machines - I think this was a Netflix Original, but it’s an animated film produced by Sony, and has so much life and love in it! Just a fun family film about a robot apocalypse with quirky characters and very relatable family struggles, but in the end a very sweet resolution that makes me envious 🥺 10/10
Scott Pilgrim vs. The World - I’m noticing a pattern with these movie titles so far… anyways, while the comics were better overall (and I need to finish them) the Scott Pilgrim movie was pretty great! I highly recommend it to people curious about Scott Pilgrim to get essentially a crash course in Scott Pilgrim, and then read the comics if you want more.
Monty Python and the Holy Grail - While I’m ashamed to say that this is the only Monty Python media I’ve interacted with directly, The Holy Grail is such a great movie and very much my style of humor in a lot of ways XD
I have to give a shout out to the original live-action Diary of a Wimpy Kid movies, especially the second one. I have a lot of great memories of watching these with friends, and every now and then I still rewatch the second one if I want a dose of nostalgia 👌
The Hobbit Trilogy are so so so so so good, for a long time I didn’t realize there were people who disliked them compared to the book? As someone who has read and reread The Hobbit religiously over the years, the movies are pretty damn good! Some parts aren’t quite up to snuff with the book, but some parts I think do a better job of explaining the course of events than in the book (and especially Gandalf’s travels being viewed as part of the film lends itself incredibly well to preceding the Lord of the Rings trilogy). Sure the dwarf/elf romance may have been unnecessary, but it was kinda cute and has some good poetic quotes about it. All in all, some of my favorite movies right here, but especially the first one.
your name. (Kimi no na wa) - I adore Makoto Shinkai films, 5 Centimeters per Second was one of the first anime films I ever watched. your name. is just one of the greatest movies ever made, such a beautiful love story, animated brilliantly, and the funniest part is that Makoto Shinkai considers it INCOMPLETE because he had to rush the ending to meet deadlines… and it’s still a masterpiece! I recommend watching the sub version if you can, because there’s a lot of intricacies involving the Japanese language and things that gets a little lost in localization and dubbing. Honestly might be my favorite movie of all time.
The Spiderverse films by Sony are some of the most spectacular animated movies of the decade, at least! I grew up as a Spider-Man fan, and especially loved the Andrew Garfield movies, and these movies scratch that same itch, while also featuring sooo many variants of Spider-people from different comics and crossovers. Both Into and Across were fantastic, can’t wait for Beyond!
Growing up a big Star Wars nerd, I might be expected to name an original trilogy film, but actually I think Rogue One is my favorite Star Wars film ever! It’s got all the makings of a fantastic sci-fi thriller, set in the Star Wars universe, about a famous line from the original movies: “Rebel spies managed to steal secret plans to the Empire's ultimate weapon, the DEATH STAR…” (this might also be the only good thing Disney has done for Star Wars movies idk)
To a much lesser extent, The LEGO Movie actually holds up quite well in my mind! Always love revisiting a fun family film like that :3
There we go! Is this more than you asked for? Probably, but you get it anyway! X3 Thanks for the ask~!
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thelonesomequeen · 7 months
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Can I also say Chris kinda has the worst luck as an actor? How could it be that every film he worked on during the Marvel years outside of the MCU didn’t have both critical and commercial success (they either had one or the other). I think he was trying to establish a name for himself outside of Marvel with great directors I might add but all of them didn’t find audiences back then that I think would have been really successful now. If Sunshine, Scott Pilgrim, or Snowpiercer came out now, there’s little doubt in my mind they wouldn’t have been wildly successful. I agree that the Marvel hype of course overshadows everything else but still. It’s wild to me. Plus, I think that adds to the truth behind the Tarantino quote that the Marvel actor isn’t the movie star and Chris himself even agreed with it.
(Side note: Could it be possible that most of the industry people in Hollywood think Chris has too much money or would ask for too much money for a role because of Marvel and therefore auteur projects without much of a budget for actors don’t get sent to him?)
Snowpiercer, for all intents and purposes, was an AMAZING film. But Harvey Weinstein was a dick and that’s why it did so poorly here in the states. 🧜🏻‍♀️
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marbleheavy · 3 years
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here are some of my Nico headcanons that nobody asked for!!
He collects things. Not just Mythomagic stuff like he did as a kid, but cool shells, and rocks, and weird glass figurines that everyone else thinks are terrifying, and books. He’s got them in jars or lined up on shelves and he just has so many things (Because for so long he had so few things that actually belonged to him that didn’t have to serve a very clear purpose, so now he just wants to keep whatever he’d like)
He reads SO much as an adult. A lot of it is nonfiction because he’s trying to catch up on what happened in the world while he was pulled out of it, but a lot of fiction too (not really fantasy though, that’s too close to home) and a lot of poetry. He can recite poems from memory and will just randomly quote them sometimes and it should be pretentious but it isn’t and his friends think it’s amazing (cue dramatically saying "till love and fame to nothingness do sink" anytime he's told he has to wait) (Also, he will rant about why Ted Hughes sucks at any point in time)
I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again!! He is a Dungeon Master! He’s got a binder for all the notes for his current campaign and a notebook for ideas and special highlighters and pens that he only uses for D&D. Also, dice are definitely one of the things he collects and he keeps them in those clear, plastic bead containers with dividers and they’re sorted by number of faces and also ~vibes~ (for example, do a backflip D20 and life or death D20)
leather jacket Nico di Angelo? seen, respected, and appreciated. CARDIGAN Nico di Angelo? underrated! He has a couple oversized cardigans with buttons and big pockets that he adores. The first one he ever had he definitely stole from Will but now, whenever he comes across another similar one, he buys it. The pockets are filled with rocks and worn, mass-market paperbacks and pens. (Basically, I’m leaning hard into English Major Nico with his annotated books and glasses and cardigans) (Also, cardigan Nico and flannel Will but sometimes they swap)
He definitely cuts his own hair in the bathroom and he's gotten very good at it. He's had a range of haircuts, from long hair to a mullet to the shaved sides and fluffy top, but he always ends up back with a shaggy mop that Hazel likes to put little braids in (or sometimes pull the very back of it into two little pigtails) and with bangs that always end up in his eyes.
Sorry to reiterate the same point that's been made forever, but his wardrobe is pretty dark-toned. Obviously black, but he does like a good jewel tone, perhaps a maroon or an emerald. Anything really bright was either a gift or belongs to Will someone else. Also, gendered clothing means nothing to him. He wears what he wants to wear and he thinks it's cool as hell when he's wearing a skirt while sparring and it flares out dramatically as he twirls.
He's kind of picked up modern slang but he also uses a lot of slang from pretty much every decade he missed. It's also a 50/50 chance he's using it incorrectly. (examples include: 1) Leo says something that is definitely supposed to be funny and Nico stares at him, utterly emotionless, and says "Gag me with a spoon" in an alarmingly monotone voice, and 2) Anytime he says something snarky to Jason or Percy he starts it with "hey bestie..." and honestly, they're both just touched Nico called them "bestie" at all)
He adores Studio Ghibli movies and can be found humming the Ponyo theme song anytime he goes swimming (Will standing on the shore, looking around for Nico and he eventually spots him in the water. He wades out to Nico, all sunglasses that shouldn't look so cool and golden hair and chest, and just greets him with "Hey there, Neeks, how's my fishie in the sea?" and Nico can't decide if he wants to drown himself or kiss Will on his stupid mouth)
Speaking of movies, shortly after the Giant War, all of his friends (the Seven, Reyna, Will, probably Lou Ellen and Cecil, too) showed up at his cabin with blankets and snacks. They each brought their favorite movie or movies they think he needs to see to catch him up on the modern age. At first, he acts disgruntled that they're all there but he very quickly settles into the blanket fort Annabeth constructs and is quietly very grateful and excited that they cared enough to do this for him. They're all holed up in his cabin for a full day until they've finished every movie. (Percy brought Finding Nemo, Annabeth brought Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, Piper brought Scott Pilgrim vs The World, Jason brought Captain America: The First Avenger (and Nico definitely says "that's gay" when Steve and Bucky say there "Until the end of the line" shit and everybody absolutely loses their minds), Hazel also is behind on movies but she brought either a very scary movie or Moana, Frank brought A New Hope (though he considered Brother Bear), Will brought Spirited Away, Cecil brought Back to the Future, and Lou Ellen brought The Princess Bride)
He can play the piano! He gets a piano for the Hades cabin and on nights where he can't sleep and the nightmares are really bad, he plays piano.
He will cry if he hears I Will by Mitski or Wasteland, Baby by Hozier, for different reasons but also kind of not (he wants to be loved)
Also, Nico and Dionysus being buddies! Nico jokingly says he'll host a bacchanal if Dionysus excuses him from certain camp activities and that's how Nico and friends end up wearing togas around a campfire, all very hesitantly holding cups of wine they aren't actually going to drink. It is definitely not a bacchanal, it's just a bad toga party (barely) but Dionysus accepts it and decides Nico is a Good One.
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(Yes I did very badly make this stupid meme that somebody has definitely made a variation of before)
This is definitely not a complete list of headcanons but it's what I've got so far!
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haunted-medievalist · 3 years
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tag game time!
i was tagged by the lovely @contre-qui, with the aim of tagging nine people to learn about their interests - i'm unlikely to find that many people myself but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it! going under the cut because this is a pretty long(ish) one.
music!
fave genre a little bit of everything but right now especially medieval folk & pop rock
fave artist a strange mixture of måneskin, kraftklub, siames, cavetown, and rainbow kitten surprise
fave song hard choice, but probably 'brothers' by siames & eddy capparelli
most listened to song recently either 'coraline' by måneskin or 'king orfeo' from the child ballads
song currently stuck in your head 'happy pills' by weathers
five fave lyrics oh boy, this is gonna take some thought.
"called to the devil and the devil said / hey! why you been calling this late? / it's like 2a.m. and the bars all close at ten in hell, that's a rule i made / anyway, you say you're too busy saving everybody else to save yourself / and you don't want no help, oh well / that's the story to tell" ('it's called: freefall' by rainbow kitten surprise)
"today i coo, today i caw / i have a pistol party and i kill 'em all / i think i might be scared / of the man and the men with their hands inside / and the women, oh, the women all they do is cry / and i, well i lose my mind" ('little pistol' by mother mother)
"so did you pack your bag, or did somebody pack it for you? / take me to the sad, sad party that you're bound to / whether you're a 'have-not' or a 'have', i got a question / are you living dead, or is this some kind of possession?' ('blast doors' by everything everything)
"but what if i run out of fertiliser? / what if the clouds run out of rain? what if lemon boy won't grow no longer? what if beaches dry of sugar cane?" ('lemon boy' by cavetown)
"now they tell you that you're their muse / yeah, they're so inspired / but where were they when they called your name / and they lit the fire? / when the voices came, you cut your hair / but you're stilled confused" ('joan of arc' by arcade fire)
books!
fave book genre fantasy all the way
fave writer bernardine evaristo, leigh bardugo, madeline miller
fave book oh dear, here we go. 'circe' by madeline miller, 'six of crows' and 'crooked kingdom' by leigh bardugo, 'girl, woman, other' by bernardine evaristo, 'good omens' by neil gaiman & terry pratchett, 'the raven cycle' series by maggie stiefvater, 'oranges are not the only fruit' by jeanette winterson, and a whole lot of old norse literature of dubious authorship (but especially 'gisla saga' and 'hrafnkels saga freysgoða', and pretty much all of the eddic poems in the volsung cycle)
fave book series it's a tie between leigh bardugo's grishaverse novels and maggie stiefvater's 'the raven cycle'
comfort book 'the secret kingdom' by jenny nimmo
rainy day book any of my norse books, sagas or poetry
fave characters nina zenik in the grishaverse, ronan lynch in 'the raven cycle', gisli in 'gisla saga' (not sure if that counts as a character or historical figure, dependent on perspective...?), and circe in, y'know, 'circe'
five quotes from your fave books?
"i thought once that gods are the opposite of death, but i see now they are more dead than anything, for they are unchanging, and can hold nothing in their hands" ('circe' by madeline miller)
"'spreader of swords, it is your own sons' / corpse-bloody hearts you've chewed up with honey, / proud man, you've consumed dead men's meat, / eating it as ale-dainties, sending it to the high seat' [...] with the point of a blade she gave the bed a bloody drink, / with a hel-keen hand, and set the dogs free; / she woke the servants, and in front of the hall-door / she flung a burning brand: she paid them back for her brothers. / to the fire she gave everyone who was inside, / who'd come from myrkheim after murdering gunnar and his men; / the ancient timbers fell, the temples smoked, / the buildings burned of budli's kin, and the shield-maids inside; / their lives stemmed, sinking into hot flames." (gudrun avenges her brother in 'atlakviða', a poem in the old norse poetic and elder eddas)
"you aren't a flower, you're every blossom in the wood blooming at once. you are a tidal wave. you're a stampede. you are overwhelming." ('crooked kingdom' by leigh bardugo)
"from the passenger seat, ronan began to swear at adam. it was a long, involved swear, using every forbidden word possible, often in compound-word form. as adam stared at his lap, penitent, he mused that there was something musical about the ronan when he swore, a careful and loving precision to the way he fit the words together, a black-painted poetry. it was far less hateful sounding than when he didn't swear." ('the raven cycle' by maggie stiefvater)
"but where was god now, with heaven full of astronauts, and the lord overthrown? i miss god. i miss the company of someone utterly loyal. i still don't think of god as my betrayer. the servants of god, yes, but servants by their very nature betray. i miss god who was my friend. i don't even know if god exists, but i do know that if god is your emotional role model, very few human relationships will match up to it. i have an idea that one day it might be possible, i thought once it had become possible, and that glimpse has set me wandering, trying to find the balance between earth and sky. if the servants hadn't rushed in and parted us, i might have been disappointed, might have snatched off the white samite to find a bowl of soup." ('oranges are not the only fruit' by jeanette winterson)
hardcover or paperback | buy or rent | standalone novels or book series | ebook or physical copy | reading at night or during the day | reading at home or in nature | listening to music while reading or reading in silence | reading in order or reading the ending first | reliable or unreliable narrator | realism or fantasy | one or multiple POVS | judging by the covers or by the summary | rereading or reading just once
tv and movies!
fave tv/movie genre fantasy, travel/road trip & comedy
fave movie the secret life of walter mitty, supernova, any and all ghibli films, scott pilgrim vs. the world, lord of the rings, the how to train your dragon trilogy
comfort movie the lion king (original), how to train your dragon, from up on poppy hill, kiki's delivery service
movie you watch every year elf, howl's moving castle, love simon
fave tv show she-ra and the princesses of power, skam, bee and puppycat (i guess more of a web series than a tv show?), adventure time, the it crowd
comfort tv show adventure time
most rewatched tv show skam, every october without fail
five favourite characters catra (she-ra and the princesses of power), sana (skam original), marceline (adventure time), moss (the it crowd), inej (shadow and bone netflix adaptation)
tv shows or movie | short seasons (8-13 episodes) or full seasons (22 episodes or more) | one episode a week or bingeing | one season or multiple seasons | one part or saga | half hour or one hour long episodes | subtitles on or off | rewatching or watching just once | downloads or watches online
tagging (absolutely no pressure, this is a pretty long one!): @crowcaves, @the-obsidian-soul, @natscbi, @somehowmags, @gabrilearnelle, @clockwords, @starsspace... and that's it, that's as close to nine as i'm getting, but if anyone else just feels like doing it then feel free to consider yourself tagged!
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stitched-mouth · 2 years
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I posted 577 times in 2021
92 posts created (16%)
485 posts reblogged (84%)
For every post I created, I reblogged 5.3 posts.
I added 217 tags in 2021
#stitched - 35 posts
#netflix - 26 posts
#stitched writes - 25 posts
#tua - 21 posts
#stitched requests - 20 posts
#the umbrella academy - 20 posts
#hargreeves family - 18 posts
#hargreeves siblings - 18 posts
#the umbrella academy season two - 17 posts
#tua s1 - 17 posts
Longest Tag: 124 characters
#reminds me of how some teachers in my school don't give 0 on reports because 'you shouldn't be on report in the first place'
My Top Posts in 2021
#5
The Umbrella Academy Incorrect Quotes #30
Five: What is this?
Klaus, hugging him tightly: Affection!
Five: Ew...do it again.
99 notes • Posted 2021-07-07 05:38:42 GMT
#4
Marvel really didn’t need to make Agatha’s theme song slap as much as it did.
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101 notes • Posted 2021-02-20 20:58:57 GMT
#3
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As a Five Hargreeves stan, I feel personally attacked.
115 notes • Posted 2021-02-14 17:59:49 GMT
#2
Can you do a Scott pilgrim cuddling head canon With
Wallace
Ramona
Kim
Knives
And Envy
Cuddling
Fandom: Scott Pilgrim Vs The World
Featuring; Wallace Wells, Ramona Flowers, Kim Pines, Knives Chau and Envy Adams.
Requested by: Anonymous.
Warnings: Heaving kissing/ Making out and slightly suggestive themes (I mention sex a lot).
Notes: I’m so sorry this took months 😓...
Wallace Wells
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• Wallace loves cuddling with you.
• He is definitely a big spoon.
• It puts him at ease having you in his arms.
• But he won’t mind too much if you want to be the big spoon.
• It makes his heart beat faster if you’re the one who suggested it.
• But most of the time he’ll be the one to initiate it.
• He might tease you a little at first about it, but that’s just to hide how much that makes him feel.
• PDA is already a given with Wallace, so he’d definitely be willing to cuddle in public.
• Like at a friend’s house or something.
• He also might just wrap his arms around you from behind if you’re talking to someone.
• He doesn’t care who teases him, he loves cuddling you.
• But he can take a hint if you’re not comfortable with that.
• Even if you don’t say it out loud, he can tell.
Ramona Flowers
See the full post
124 notes • Posted 2021-03-05 04:01:38 GMT
#1
But you promised me...
A/N
This was all rather random. It's just a very short angsty fic that took me a couple of rewrites. I finished Loki a few days ago and wanted to write this immediately after but I didn't have that much a plot in mind and didn't have much time on my hands during the week.
So this takes place during Infinity War right after Loki's death. Loki and the reader are currently engaged and the reader is expecting. I might do a follow up fic but only if a lot of people like this one and want a follow up. Please let me know!
Also requests will open back up tomorrow!
Warning: ANGST!
Fandom: Marvel.
Format: Short Fic.
Featuring; Loki Lafeyson.
Requested by: No one.
Pairing: Loki x female! pregnant! Reader.
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Things were bad. Like, mega bad.
Asgard had been totally destroyed. Almost everyone was dead, and the few that had survived had nowhere to go. Except Thor and Loki.
"I promise I'll back before you even notice I'm gone." Loki promised me.
"Too late, I already noticed." I replied.
My beloved's laughter filled my ears, what a beautiful sound. A sound I will most definitely miss.
That was only a few days ago, all of which had been hell without him. I wanted nothing more than to wrap my arms around him and hold him close to me and never let him go.
But I could never do that again.
I could never tell him how much I love him or how much I wished he was still here with me. I could never tell him the amazing news, that I was pregnant with his child.
He'd never know.
I could only look down and whisper to myself as I rubbed my only slightly swollen tummy whilst my eyes began pricking and tears flowed down my cheeks, "But you promised me..."
150 notes • Posted 2021-07-17 15:27:16 GMT
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popculturebuffet · 3 years
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Scottrospective: Scott Pilgrim and the Infinite Sadness
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Welcome back my Scottaholics! We’re moving right along fun and fancy free just a few days later from Book 2 to 3. Which fits: As I mentioned in my review of book 1 I first encountered Scott, Ramona and Wallace in a free comic book story, and VERY intrigued, bought volumes 2 and 3 from the same comic shop after reading it in line.. or maybe I went there again later and bought them. My brain is a foggy sinkhole. Point is I was hooked from then on out, and bought the next three volumes as I came out, and through the internet because by then i’d leanred to use Amazon. Ironic given Ramona’s work for them is not only iconic to the series but plot important in volumes 1 and 2. As is Scott’s package toss in the movie. But the story of my long wait for volume 4 can wait for February. Point is it was these two and Free Scott PIlgrim are the ones I poured over again and agian, obessing over as a teen and the ones that stick in my brain the most.  But even with that last time the exaustive process of covering it exposed a LOT of volume 2′s weakness: While it has a lot of iconic scenes, including Scott accidently convincing a man to skateboard himself to death, the Ramona and Knives fight, the envy call, the flashback, and is still very enjoyable..it also feels the most like a collection of loose events out of the books. Good stuff and character and tone wise better than last time.. but not quite as narratively strong. The series was GETTING there, the art was solidfiying into it’s final form, the characters were in the right place, SCott was more likeable.. but it hadn’t quite hit it’s stride yet.  Three guesses when it did and the first two didn’t count. Infinite Sadness is one of my favorite volumes, along with 4 and 6. And while part of that is nostaliga and a personal connection.. the bulk of it is just this volume being even BETTER on the re-read. I picked up subtle bits that I didn’t notice before that only enritched the experince, the pacing is sublime, the character work is top notch and compelling, the art work is finally crystlalized into what the series is known for, and would only get even better as it goes, and the fights are some of the series best. This is one hell of a story and I warmly invite you to join me as I break it down after the break.
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Previously on Scott Pilgrim: Scott defeated Lucas Lee, the second Evil Ex, met Luke Wilson, and prepared to go to his ex girlfriend’s concert despite this being a terrible idea to discuss a gig. It was there he and Ramona found out Envy’s base player Todd, the douchenozzle who she cheated on Scott with, is also the douchenozzle Ramona cheated on Lucas with. 
So we open.. exactly from that moment, with Scott and Ramona starring wide eyed while the band plays in an utterly dazzling sequence that’s been brought up a notch in the color remaster. Also one of a handful of moments that was barely touched from page to screen, with only slight adaptations to make it better on screen, and the addition of Metric’s now iconic “Black Sheep”. And when reading the scene.. I couldn’t resisit turning black sheep on as it matched it perfectly..  so yeah have the Clash at the Demonhead performance from the film
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So while that worms it’s way into your head, let’s talk about the character designs for Clash Of the Demonhead, since volume 2 is the last time in the color editions O’Malley really talks about character origins and stuff. I could’ve missed something of course, we’ll see as we go won’t we. I just saved it for here as the Volume 2 review was running a bit long as is and while their shown on covers and on the back cover of the black and white edition, they don’t show up in person and in their full glory till the last panel, hence saving it for here where Envy and Todd are the main antagonists and Lynette is... plot relevant. 
Envy was based on the front woman for the band Metric, Emily Haines, designed much like hanes to be a tough, confrotnational, sexy woman, his words not mine, who’d gone through a lot of change in a few years since according to him, and i’m willing to take his word for it since I don’t know the band outside of the one song he picked for the movie, a lot of the bands songs are about that. And honeslty it makes me want to check them out more, as does how awesome black sheep is I can’t belivie I took this long, and is supremely intresting as I hadn’t realized there was a good reason there wasn’t just an original song written for clash at the demonhead. I mean if you base your character on the frontwoman for a band why NOT use one of their songs.
Speaking of band, Plumtree’s drummer, Lynette Gillis, was the inspiration for Lynette Gycott, though the final version of her is more cold and robotic and less like Gillis than initially envisioned. 
Finally Todd..was based on Scott, and while he evolved out from that a bit especially in powers.. the concept basically stuck as Todd is a stronger, dumber, more agressive and douchey version of Scott whose mistreatment of women is far more deliberate than Scott’s untetional douchebaggery. 
So after some interview segments for some sort of documentary on the band with the crowd, we cut to our heroes after the show, all standing around and being nervous. Stephen’s first words are “Decent show eh, told you they were good”. 
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Admitely re-reading this one and answering a reader question, unrealted but it got me to thinking, made me realize Stephen wasn’t AS much of a dick as I thought: I didn’t think about the fact Scott and Envy’s blow up cost him their old band which was close to singing, and that Scott both as revealed in volume 3 and in bits here, was kind of a dick towards the end, intitating the breakup while drunk and belligernt and saying a facepunchingly dickish comment we’ll get to. So he wasn’t BLAMELESS and it’s understandable Stephen dosen’t hate her as much. She was friends with his horrible albatross of a girlfriend and didn’t break his heart. 
However.. he’s still an asshole and deserve jeff blim’s theatrical fuck you up there. He still ignores Scott’s pain, or the fact that most of the breakup WAS Envy’s fault as we’ll see. We’ll get into it in full obviously but for the cliffs notes so I can yell at a fictional grumpy closted canadian man: She slowly drifted away from him, treated him like he had no say in a band he helped found or took his feelings into account in the record deal, and cheated on him with Todd and possibly another guy. And as seen here she used her fame to bribe her ex and friends into showing up just so, as we see, she can torture him and his new girlfriend a bit. Envy is not a good person and Stephen is ignoring that and his friends VERY obvious emtoinal turmoil. Especially dickish since by this point Scott has clearly swallowed his pride and agreed to a show with someone who really DEEPLY hurt him for Stephen and Kim’s sake.. and he’s not even remotely greatful for it clearly. The only reason  he’s not the biggest asshole left in the building is because Todd, Envy and Julie, queen of bitches, is in there. 
So after a save point gag that goes nowhere, Envy shows up to take the group back stage... awkward, uncomfortable and very intentional silence insues to makes Scott even more sweaty and nervous and Ramona visably and understandably annoyed. Knives tries to talk to her hero but gets ignored because Envy’s a bitch.. and so’s Julie who not only joins in the shunning of a fucking teenager who clearly loves this band, but also is clearly trying to conversationally surgically attach her lips to Envy’s ass. Her toadying is obnxoious as you’d expect and as transparent as you’d expect, trying to drudge up old nostalgia while Envy’s clearly barely intrested, and the only thing that makes it more tolerable than normal Julie is Envy clearly barely tolerates this and likely is only going with it because she could be a useful minon in the future. 
Thankfully this is broken up. Unthakfully it’s by knives shouting her most iconic line: 
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Given Envy is shown to not be the best person.. her response is to have her cyborg goon belt knives in the face
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Which leads to an even better line seconds later
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Envy then to just .. complete the circle of being a bitch has NEil take knives out then mocks her when Julie explains why knives and neil were even here. And it’s VERY telling that even Julie, who was must minutes from humping envy’s leg and begging to go with her when she leaves, is visably put off by Envy’s attitude. So while Ramona is understandably fucking done with this, as even she has some shred of sympathy for the teenager who tried to stab her a day ago, Scott has to take a minute to have a flashback. We see two brief bits of Scott with Envy, at the start of their college band Kid Chamelon where they were all happy.. and shortly after the breakup where Scott is miserable, in the middle of the street, sadly saying their name while saying “I’m so alone”.. explaning that desert bit from volume 1.. and making it ten times more painful. Nicely done Brian. 
So with Knives gone we get our usual character age intros and descriptoins, my favioritte being Stephen “wants a damn buritto dammit” which I can relate to and thankfully got it monday. He also does show a bit more of his noble self as, things have escalated to the point even he can see Envy has some sort of evil scheme planned and he walked right into it so he asks what her ulterior motive is. Julie pipes up with “She dosen’t NEED ulterior motives she was written up with in spin!”
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So Envy grills Ramona a bit clearly trying to make her squirm..though at least when Julie TRIES to jump in she shoots her down, like some asshole pulling a yappy dog on it’s leash hard. Eventually Scott flips out and .. well I don’t want to overpanel this review but this is just.. quotes cannot do this justice. 
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The result.. is the reveal Todd is psychic due to being a vegan and he throwing scott through a wall with telkenisis, kyle!
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It’s explained he has these powers because he’s a vegan and even was top of his class at the vegan academy. Citation... needed. Not because of his power but because Todd may be one of the stupidest beings that’s ever lived. And I once had a friend whose other friend told me, since they’d be going to diffrent high schools and he was trying to pass off his mummies curse of keeping him from destroying himself with his own stupidity, tried to run into a wall to loose weight. No I don’t get how this would’ve worked but having known the guy I guarnatee he was arrogant and dumb enough at the time to try it. Nowadays I assume he’s much better... I assume. You.. you’d have to be to have survived another decade. 
Todd is also THAT kind of smug dickhead. Thankfully I haven’t met one in real life or online, as the two vegetarians I have known, one of my best friends micheal and my uncle drew, the former of whom now also eats fish and the latter of whom gave it up once he moved to places he could get meat that was raced humanely easier, but who I still respect for having that amount of self control. But Todd is a clear parody of the type of vegan and vegetarian who think their better than everyone.. by thinking he’s even BETTER than regular vegans because not every vegan can take the strain of psychic powers, with Kim naturally sniping at him.. then flipping him off when he says “don’t get snippy babe” and is very lucky he has psychic powers as otherwise he’d suddenly be wondering where his dick is and why kim’s holding a broken bottle. 
Brian also pokes fun at the old 90 percent of your brain trope. You know the old one that claims you only use 10 percent.. 
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But it’s only because your only ACTIVELY using it and the rest is simply other functions. But hey we got Deathstroke out of that claim so good enough. Todd claims it’s because the other 90 percent is curds and whey. This might be the greatest use of this outdated trope in human history. No.. no.. it is. It exactly is. 
Envy brags that’s why he can’t beat him having clearly traded disappearing up her own ass  for disappearing up todd’s, Julie was also crammed up there, it was getting crowded. Envy claims to have been with todd since age 11.. which.. is more.. delusion than anything and she brushes off Ramona rightfully pointing out that’d mean he cheated on her with Ramona as Rammy trying to distract her and trying to smack talk SCott more who has another flashback. 
SOME YEARS AGO.. I DUNNO 5? 5 YEARS AGO?
We see Scott’s first meeting with Envy, who was rooming with Julie. Julie, it might shock you.. has not changed at all in 5 or so years. She’s seen bitching at her roomate Natalie V. Adams, the future Envy, for not wanting to get drunk and high and for hanging out in her room with all her anime posters and stuff. As you can tell, she’s a vastly diffrent person at this point, a nerdy interverted otaku and as you can probably guess now the flashbacks have started at the top, we’ll be seeing how she became the sexpot rockstar she is now and how that drove a wedge betwene her and Scott. Julie SHOCKINGLY does not take this well and as Stephen to kil lher if she ever becomes friends with her. I mean I would but If I could travel into fictional works I certainly woudln’t be wasting my time murdering Julie. I’d be asking kim out and trying to get into some cool video game ablities myself. I ain’t got time for that bitch. 
Next cut Julie is ... even worse as she’s calling Scott some “jerky jerky ladykiller”, pointing out he’s hooked up with recurring background characters Sandra and Monique. Now GRANTED, Scott could’ve hurt them and Julie could be right for once..  we’ve seen he has a history of being an insenstive douche by pure accident. But.. from the sounds of it given his encounters with Sandra and Monique were both in seperate ladies rooms, as in casual hookups I assume are common in universities. As long as he used a condom and dind’t lie about being in it longterm, who the hell does it hurt. Same if he and Natlie ended up being that. He’s not a “ladykiller” if he got busy on a washroom sink. He just had casual sex in an awful location and given Scott is both horny and stupid freqently, I could buy he either inittated it clumsily and sandra and or monqiue went for it, or one of them thought he was cute and wanted a quick one with him and it just never went anywhere either due to lack of intrest or Scott being kind of a moron. I don’t buy he INTENTIONALLY hurt anyone, he MIGHT of hurt Sandra she seems kind of ditzy and might’ve not realized it wans’t serious.. but it just entirely sounds like a casual, consesual one time hookup with two seperate women. And as long as he wore a condom and repsected their needs what the fuck is it Julie’s buisness. BEcause their here freinds? I mean they told her but they weren’t expecting her to play dick sheirff with scott probably. And Natlie is not her buisness: their not really friends.. she’s just trying to ruin Scott’s day.  I honestly get the sense she only hates Scott because she can’t get rid of him, Stephen won’t dump him as a friend and he fucked her friends once. Which makes me hate her MORE. Natlie/Envy however also calls bullshit and thinks Scott’s much too awkward to be a ladykiller. Accurate. I mean he’s good with women and gets dates easily, he’s just not inteitonally leaving them high and dry. He’s just not great with empathy. 
Scott snaps back to the present and gets pissed.. and we get the real reason for the outburst as he shouts “You you ass! She USED to be NICE!”. It’s very clear that Scott blames Todd for Envy’s change into an cold and cruel person. But .. that’s not on him entirely. I do think Envy’s cattier, more cruel “play with prey like a cat with a mouse” personality at this point is due to Todd feeding into her worse impulses.... but the flashbacks make clear even before she saw him again she was slowly changing as a person for better, gaining a drive and passion for music.. and for worse, shutting scott out cheating on him and generally not carring about anything but her career, especially Scott. As much as he wants to belivie it she didn’t MAGICALLY change into a bitch overnight and beating todd won’t fix that. She became what she is as a choice. Todd just made what she became worse. 
After the predictable result of Scott getting flung into the air and falling back down, he has another flashback and we see the next phase of their relationship: Scott, Envy and Stephen playing in a band for Stacey and Wallace (!), whose hair is certainly a... choice. And the two falling in love and julie grilling scott on if he and nat are a couple because why stop making me wish for a bus to hit you NOW Jules?
So we then get ANOTHER iconic line and another scene that was perfectly translated into the film
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Comic gold no matter the medium.. Brandon Routh just nailed it and I watched the scene again before writing this just out of curoisty. Flawless stuff. Check it out
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I will say however that while Movie!Envy’s response of just quickly covering is pretty funny.. I prefer the comic’s envy’s utterly baffled and pissed off “What are you talking about Todd?”. Even she can’t fathom what the fuck just happened. But since it’s late and Todd’s brain is pretty fried, Envy calls for everyone to get some sleep and they’ll regroup tommorow at 1pm at Honest Ed’s. Honest Ed’s WAS a famous discount Store in Canada that sadly closed in 2016, making what ‘s about to happen to it here sad in hindsight. It was known for big sales, big spectacle and i’ts larger than life owner who sadly passed a few years after this volume. But god bless him for giving this series one of it’s best settings. More on that when we get there for now FLASHBACK
Back in College, we see Nat’s change into envy as she sells all her stuff for some bitching new boots and cd’s and during sex with Scott asks him to start calling her Envy. Their still somewhat happy, as the next flashback has Scott remembering their 8 month anniversary and her playfully mocking him as the girl.. before we get a much starker one of him telling her he loved her and her not responding.. and looking at him.. more.. bored than anything. 
Back in the present our heroes try to wait out the rain under a bank thing, can relate to the times i’ve visted the city and came out to rain, and when that fails Kim says she’s off and will see them at practice and tells Stephen to blow her when he asks her if she’s going to Honest Ed’s, then seems genuinly confused if he pissed her off before heading home. Swing and a miss stevie, swing and a miss. 
Scott is hungry and sorta drags Ramona, whose not in the mood for anything, over to Pizza Pete’s a nearbye eatery. It’s there they happen to run into Other Scott... Other Scott is another guy named Scott. He dosen’t do much in the books. But the name Other Scott is objectively funny and he is objectively nice so he’s fine in my book and I applaud the movie for using him as Wallace’s love intrest. Though I wouldn’t be REMOTELY suprised if they were fucking in the books too. And of course with him is Wallace himself, who really is just.. entering this volume in the most Wallace way possible. 
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A little drunk, eating some cheap but good food, with a million dollar style and in just the exact right place at the exact right time. If that’s not Wallace Wells, I don’t know what is. Wallace and Other Scott were clubbin, not a huge suprise given Wallace has his own deep and complicated social life we never see and Wallace is naturally a little bit absolutley livid when he finds out Scott went to see Envy’s show anyway despite you know, putting him in a misery coma. Who do you think has to clean you and feed you when your like that Scott? Elves? Well I mean .. Wallace MIGHT be an elf.. but he stilld soen’t want to do either of those things.  He breifly gets sidetracked by the fact that Scott is wearing his shirt.. maybe. I mean he wore it the other day but given their living situation it’s honestly hard to tell. Ramona reminds him of his priorites
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That’s part of the fun of rereading these again so soon after rereading them in december: I’m noticing tons of little moments like this I didn’t really before. The two explain things, including Ramona pointing out Scott’s extra stupid around Envy. I mean it’s a bit mean to point out given this is clearly a lot for him. 
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Wallace brushes it off and promises to help him train like a true pal before being prompted to talk about this new boy he picked up Mobile.. who we wont’ see in person for a while but Wallace is clearly head over heels for and begs Scott to let him have the apartment.. or more accuratley Ramona, whose clearly not in the best of moods with Scott, to take him. His sales pitch is immaculate
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So she agrees and a friendship is forged based on mutual hatred and being someone’s dipping sauce bitch. I’ve forged longer lasting friendships on far less. Also Wallace forgot his keys but wisely banked on his Gladstone Gander esque luck to help him out.. seriously i’m convinced he has a lower yield version of that. Or God wants to bang him but can’t because his penis is so powerful it CAN SPLIT A MOUNTAIN IN TWAINNNNN. You make the call. 
So they sleep it off, and Scott heads home early next morning.. and forgot he gave wallace his keys. Thankfully wallace finds him, and even got him donuts for when he came back, what a guy, makes you cry and I did. He also shows off a new trick about using your chi to dust rain off you. Turns out Mobile is psyhich which.. dosen’t come into play but for vallad reasons: Scott assumes Mobile can just.. give him psyhic powers and training but a) he and Wallace JUST met and while they’ll remain together for the rest of the series, it’s a big ask to have him help train his best friend to fight a man as dumb and chisled as a mountain, and B) “It dosen’t work that way” meaning scott’s probably not psi adept and even if he can be taught, there’s not NEARLY enough time for him to get good enough at shielding himself from Telkenisis in time given Todd’s already fighting him today and has two other oppprotunites afterwords to beat his ass to death. There’s just not enough time. So scott collapses with a donut in his mouth.. are .. are we sure this isn’t just a more attractive more sucessful canadian alternate me? 
We flashback to when Wallace met Envy and since i’ts post-becoming envy, it dosen’t go well and he hates her immidetly, and expects Scott to break up with her asap.. which while  bitchy.. actually woudl’ve been a good move in the long run. And “Bitchily phrased but a good move in the long run” has apparently always been Wallace’s go-to move. 
In the present Wallace helps Scott , who thinks everything sucks, realize it does not, with the help of fresh bacon and perspective, helping him avoid thinking Envy is “back” when she’s just vistiing and somewhat forces him to admit it’s not happening again nor should it. And implicity your both with other people, you’ve moved on, stay moved on. ANOTHER Flashback, this time with Envy asking Scott how he and Wallace met after dinner with Scott’s parents. It’s the story we’ve been hinting at since.. uh last volume. 
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And indeed it is somewhat gay! Behold! The origin of a friendship to piece the heavens or .. something like that. I’m tired. 
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It’s a quick breezy story that honestly both explains a lot and is what you’d expect; Wallace taking an intrest, Wallace presumibly realising Scott is straight off screen but deciding fuck it I like this guy let’s be pals instead, and jjust sorta showing up at his house. But since it’s Wallace and he and Scott both love gaming.. it just stuck. And it’s easy to see why. Scott’s a bit of an introvert and Wallace is a ton of an extrovert. Wallce is nice, naturally charming and endlessly cool, and as you can see it took him probably just an afternoon to go from freaking scott out for showing up randomly, to Scott talking the guy up and clearly being the bosom buddies they are now. The two just ballance each other out well. Wallace need’s scott’s weirdness and general heart, and Scott needs Wallace to keep him from running into the brick walls of life via his own stupidity and conflict avoidance. It’s what they do, they make it a two player game. 
So later that day, and some off screen training later, presumibly to the song Two Player Game despite the fact it didn’t exist yet, our heroes (Scott, Ramona and Wallace), Villians (Envy and Todd) and other not so much evil as just cretionus assholes (Stephen and Julie) arrive. It’s also clear that Envy just made up the challenge as she went and I fucking love it, just saying they’ll run to the back, try and kill each other and no psychic powers, with Scott’s own handicap being “He isn’t a surivivor” which earns a rightful you unebleiviable bitch from wallace and a just ast rightful “fair enough” from Scott. 
Stephen wonders what the deal is and Julie’s answer is... I don’t.. I can’t unpack this. 
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Meanwhile Wallace says “I hate her so much” Which I THINK was meant for Envy, but as a teen I interpited as being for Julie. Then again it being BOTH is entirely possible given no one can stand Julie for more than five mintues other than Stephen. And that’s because he’s still in the closet and hasn’t come out as bi or gay and thus sees her as a safe option or he really sucks with his taste in partners. Or a little from collumn a , a little from collumn b. So yeah Scott wants a Strategy and Wallace has.. nothing other than “Well he can’t use his powers so.. use that. I guess.. I dunno. I’m hungover” though Ramona warns he can’t go long without using them without freaking out. So gooood? I’m starting to think Kim is the most useful member in his crew for this fight.. and she’s the one who decided to nope out of it because she didn’t want to watch his ex pick him apart mentally and her muscly new boyfriend pick him apart with MIND BULLETS. Wallace isn’t really helping this go round, though he’s still a treasure, Ramona is trying but dosen’t have much, and Stephen thought bringing Julie was in any way shape or form a good idea. Which really sums up their entire relationship so it’s not surprising, it just makes me question why the two are friends at all. 
No really,  out of Scott’s three close friends.. this friendship feels the most like two guys who just used to hang out but have no real reason too other than convience. Wallace would go to bat for scott.. with an actual bat.. to Envy’s skull. He just dosen’t want to go to jail.. again. Kim pines for him, pun intended, and also does care, she just dosen’t show it because scott’s kinda a moron parade and an insenstivity brunch rolled into one. So she sticks around even though it hurts to. Stephen.. lost his big shot in part due to Scott (Though Envy’s pushness and lack of consideration for his feelings didn’t help), his shrew of a girlfriend hates him and he’s not that good at bass... and I just got it. While Tornoto’s a big city , he’s probably not sure if Kim would be doing this without Scott. He’s.. entirely still his friend because he needs a bass player and kim’s a damn fine drummer whose hard to replace. I just got it.. it makes him a self serving douchecanoe for only being someone's friend because he needs a bass player even though he doesn’t like him, but I at least GET IT now. 
 So the rush into Honest Ed’s begins and.. my god this whole sequence is sublimely redelcous. It feels like what would ACTUALLY happen if two guys fought for the reasons scott and todd are fighting: just two idiots dinking around in a discount store. Scott dosen’t even last a few seconds before shouting in response to Todd’s taunts “We are all dead”, tripping while looking for eyeware and well..
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Meanwhile Todd starts to break down while shouting FATHEERRRRRRR like all good psychics. As for how long this beautiful nonsense has been going on....
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Oh and if you thought it hadn’t gotten redicously hilarious enough... wait till you see what’s next. 
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No words.. should’ve.. sent a poet.. got a tubby asshole who reviews comics, disney shows and disney comics instead.... 
So we then get a montage in todd’s head with his SHOCKINGLY OLD dad telling him he dosen’t have the willpower to be a vegan.. Lynette telling him she’s his for the taking and Envy will never know as she opens her shirt, and 
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Gideon.. showing he not only consults the league but confriming what the audience and scott realized: He’s behind these assholes.. but it also shows how much. He’s actively coaching them.. and granted we KNEW the exes were in contact with one another given Lucas was having an understandable sigh about Matthew.. but this shows Gideon isn’t just some player and this isn’t some automated service. He brought them all together. The how ends up being hilarious, and we’ll get to that but while it was obvious he was the final boss this is a nice and terrifying bit of clarification. As for what happened next.. well Todd freaks out with his powers from not using them
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Really sad in hindsight.. but still really funny despite the horrifying concidence. So yeah our hero declares victory but dind’t really when and things just kinda end. This segment went basically nowhere and acomplished nothing. .but was still really fun, with great lines and is one of the most memorable and awesome scenes in the series.  It also shows the series growth between volumes: Last volume had a lot of cool moments.. but no real plot structure, just a bunch of things that needed to happen to get here. With Volume 3.. things are VERY tightly plotted, and even a fun but kinda pointless diversion like this... still fits in perfectly, giving us a second Scott and Todd fight to build him up, showing off just HOW powerful Todd is, and fleshing out the tofu headed douche a bit. As we’ve seen this volume still has it’s little slice of life moments the series does well. their just well put into a very compelling and fast paced plot, one we’re fully invested in as we see Scott’s torment and Ramona’s mounting anger at envy’s bullshit. It helps that Envy and Todd are the second best big bads of a volume behind gideon himslef in the fimale, with Roxy close at their heels if you were curious. Envy just oozes ego and superiority and is fun to watch every time, while we see moments once in a while that show she’s still human underneath even if she acts like a goddes.. and is admitely one of my types but that’s enough of that. She provides a nice contrast to ramona, also being standofish and mysterious but wheras ramona is clearly mysterious out of shame for a past she’s not proud of Envy is out of a past.. she has no reason to flee from and was never that bad.The only part Envy kept was Todd which was an objectively bad decision. 
Todd meanwhile like all the exes as I re-realized.. is a mirror to scott. Each one has a piece of his worse traits amplified and expanded. So far Patel has been scott’s dorkyness, expanded from 
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To being a giant showy hipster douche desperate to seem cool and important. Lucas is scott’s afabliity and laziness taken to just outright avoiding a fight.. not nearly as bad as the others given he still has one of Scott’s best qualities with no drawbacks.  But Todd.. is probably the ex that mirrors scott the second most. Besides both being base players with shaggy hair, both are delightfully stupid, both have a lot of charisma besides that and both are extremley good in a fight.  But noticably.. Todd zigs a lot where Scott zags and the simlarites sort of stop. While both are objectively attractive, Todd is more conventinually chisled while Scott is more adorable, expertly reflected in the movie by having former Superman Brandon Routh opposite former George Micheal, Micheal Cera.  Todd’s ablities are mental while Scott’s are entirely in martial arts and later swordplay. Todd has a rough relationship with his dad who never supported him and constnatly doubted him while Scott’s parents fully support him and love him uncdoitoinaly and despite his protests and annoyance with them.. it’s clear he still cares about them and loves them.  And most damingly.. Scott treats people like garbage sometimes.. but it’s because he’s oblivoius. He’s a finaical burden on Wallace, cheated on Knives, gave Kim no closure, blew up Stephen’s chances at the big time, and in general can be kind of a dick.. but NONE of that is intetnional. It dosen’t make it okay, the books make that clear.. but it’s why we can still root for him: It’s something that can be fixed. Scott hurts people a lot but he lacks gneuinely malicious intent. He leaves a lot of pain in his wake.. but it’s because he’s socially inept, and again and I say this as someone with atusitim myself, defintely on the spectrum , so he dosen’t GET he’s hurting people unless they tell him. Something that will probably not shock you but I relate to and has happened to me in the past, hence while i’ll clal him a douche or stupid, because he’s both, I do sympathize with the guy as the whilrwilnd of descrution is just him being so intent on being seen as a good person and moving past things he can’t see the wreckage in ihs wake, and the series is about him growing past that mindset. 
Todd.. is just an entitled dick who KNOWS he’s probably going to hurt people but does the things anyway because he thinks as a rock star he can do whatever he wants. As a Vegan he’s superior so he’s allwoed to do WHATEVER he wants. He’s so obessed with making his dad not see him as a failure he’s developed an Ego that can only be visualized properly using well.. Ego
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That’s what his ego has become. He’s so up his own ass his head is coming out of his mouth somehow. He’s so in love with himself he’s probably googled “How to make a sexy clone of yourself”. He’s scott’s oblivoiusness and selfishness, but with genuine intent. He’s scott if he KNEW what he was doing was wrong.. and said fuck it anyway i’m a rockstar baby. Todd, is EASILY what scott could’ve been at envy’s side had they not broken up.. successful.. but an utter bastard who only cares about themselves.  Anyways we cut to practice that night were Stephen is spiraling and Kim declines going to the show.. not for the obvious reasons of wanting to avoid another round of “watch Envy tourture scott before Todd beats his skull in with his psychic powers”, but because she has a date. Lucky bastard. The guys are naturally as tactful as you’d expect about this and suggest she’s doing a collage or puzzles before she shuts htem down and they awkardly recover and I laugh my ass off. 
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So Scott and Ramona head out, trading some talk and what have you and having some Sushi, not going there often because they can’t afford it.. but it’s cool Scott swipied Wallace’s card. When pressed on his douchebaggery Scott assures her. 
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We’ll get more into this next time, but needless to say Scott’s mooching is finally becoming a plot point next time. Speaking of next time on the way to the show Ramona realizes “Wait why the hell are we doing this” and convinces Scott not to go as they can relax, have a night off, cuddle and stuff, and then Scott can fight Todd tommorow at the big show. Why DO they need to sit in with two assholes who are only inviting them to fuck with their heads some more. Well okay one asshole while Todd is okay with all this he probably just mubled some “sure whatevers” while trying to solve a rubix cube while Envy outlined her plans to him before rearanging the stickers so he could win.. I Mean with his mind so it’s sitll a little impressive but still. 
So they TRY making out, complete with being in their undies.. but it just dosen’t work as both of them keep picturing Envy’s face and that’s not good for either of them.
AND it was at this point fucking tumblr.. ate an hour’s worth of work I just did. Probably not something you need to know or care about but something that pisses me off greatly as I was approaching the end of the review and now have to either retype or entirely rethink what I JUST spent a while working hard on. 
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And this time I mean it. The only reason i’m not giving up and shelving this review for a bit.. is ithat i’m a stubborn bastard who refuses to give up that easily and who needed to vent about this to somewhere. 
So Ramona finally comes clean about Todd.. and in a nice moment admits to cheating on Lucas with him “It wasn’t very nice but I wasn’t a nice person”. It’s a small thing, something I didn’t notice before.. but it’s actually a big step given how guarded Ramona is to admit to doing something this bad. Last volume, just a few days ago time wise, she lied entirely about this and probably has no idea Scott knows already. But she’s being honest, telling him the truth so he’ll be prepared for what’s coming and know the full story.  The full story is they were both little shits who raised hell together till Todd disappeared for a while. He shows up as you’d expect, dickishily interupting class before explaning Dairy Scientests kidnapped and experimented on him. He also says this
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So he proves his love. in the most badass and horrifying way possible: BY MAKING ONE OF THE TWO BIG NOTICABLE CRATERS ON THE GODDAMN MOON. 
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One of the series best jokes. Ramona also takes a hard pass to learning about envy and asks about Kim... not for any reason.. just thinks sh’es nice. It’s not like she wants to make out with her face.. a lot. Just.. girl things. SHUT UP. She’s also unsatisfied with Scott’s piss take version of his relationship with her.  Closing out the chapter, Knives.. has somehow climbed a huge pile of billboardsi n the middle of tornoto.. which would be awesome.. if it weren’t such a beautifully sad image. 
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Whelp my heart just exploded with pain at this poor girl whose lost the love of her live, which is a goood thing mind you but dosen’t mean it dosen’t hurt less, her faviorte band and her highlights all in the span of a month.  Moving on as we approach the final act, we get a brief scene as Todd orders some Gelato, which is itallian icec ream, very not vegan and Envy does not relaize this. Todd however rants about being a rock star, being so above people and as for the rules
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We also get this lovely bit
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And then they make out and i’ts treated as a big shocker despite.. us.. finding that out several dozen pages ago. We know already. 
Back at Scott and Wallace’s place, Ramona shows up with cool new blue hairdoo, which I agree with Wallace is awesome and admits she changes her hair up every couple of weeks.. someething that in the color version we do see better. We also get a gag that no longer makes sense as he asks if that’s her natural haircolor and she says yay and the caption admits this was funnier in black and white. Eh one or two jokes for some really pretty colors is a fair enough trade. 
Scott however once again bitches about his hair, despite Ramona pointing out to him and Wallace that.. there’s like dozens of haircut places within walking distance. I remain unsuprised thier that oblivous. But to shut her boyfriend up she agrees to cut his hair and while they do asks what Envy’s actual name is.. scott’s response .. is pretty heartbreaking “Natalie. She stopped liking it. Then she stopped liking me.  So Scott shows up with his NEW HAIR CUT.. aka his old one just trimmed up a bit, but the one you see in modern merch and the game. A bit shaggy but not as long. Scott reassures Stephen whose spiraling with panic that it won’t be the same as last time and they’ll have fun. Kim, understandably and having not been told anything, wonders what “last time was”. After everyone chimes in Kid chamelon i’ts time for another FLASHBACK.. as you were probably expecting by now.. but this time I added some proper effects to spice it up. 
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So we find out more of whta drove a wedge between the two: Envy slowly but surely took a tryanical death grip on the band, adding some guy named Joel on the drums, possibly the same guy from Crash and the Boys, and bumping Scott to bass, without asking him or Stephen about this and just sorta.. demanding it. While her intetnions are understandable, she just wants the band’s best sound.. her actions are still head tiltingly obnoxious, and clearly show she had not studied rock history yet as usually taking absolute control of the band and ignoring your band mates is the easiet way to destroy a band. Sometimes it’s just envy, pun unintneded but welcome, but yeah.. it’s no wonder they didn’t last. Scott is also shown to be more and more uncomfortable with the band going from a fun thing he did with his friend and girlfriend.. to something that could make him famous.. something he’s very transparently not ready for and dosen’t want.  And it makes sense: he was just a dumb college kid in love.. he didn’t start the band for fame or glory.. he just wanted to have fun. Same with his current band. And while in the PRESENT his lack of ambition can be obnoxious and will be a problem in the next volume, here.. he’s still in college and sudeenly got thrust into a career he dosen’t want with a person who no longer loves or respects him. It’s understandable that he’s a nervous , miserable wreck. 
So in the present, Stephen is throwing up and asking for julie and Scott.. is a dick and ignores him. Were it anyone else and any other relationship currrently int he books I would actually give a shit. So he wonders around a bit, running into some teens who are intrested in him, word travels fast apparently, Julie, who for once displays a human emotion of concern for Stephen or the closest she can, and thankfully Wallace, Stacey and Micheal,who now has a spooky skeleton ring from the future and badly needs his own spinoff. Stacey TRIES to pump her brother up.. but it’s clear he’s in no good mental place for that and trudges off while Wallace, man of the year, worries about him.  One GOOD THING about the astronomical setback that happened is in the orignal draft of this.. I forgot to talk about Stacey. Despite promising to. So here it goes: After this Stacey.. just sorta vanishes from the series. She’s still around and while not super promient gets a decent amount of screentime in the finale, she makes cameos before then. But from this book on she’s no longer a main character like she was in the first two books. There she had several scenes, lots of focus, and her own mini arc in the first one about Wallace stealing her boyfriends. There’s. an actual reason for this as O’Malley regretted naming her after his sister and thus basically stopped writing her unless he had to, sticking her in once in a while to assure fans he hadn’t forgotten her but removing her from the main plot.  That being said while his reason is weak.. I dn’t think it’s the ONLY reason she slid into the background. The main cast already had 6 characters, and on top of that this volume heavily focuses on Envy, the next adds Lisa Miller to the mix, and every volume frmo this one on has increased focus on the ex of the week, building them up more as characters and giving them way more screen time. Stacey.. really didn’t have a unique niche or roll in the sotry the other 5 non-scott leads didn’t: Knives filled out the position as the baby of Scott’s friend group, Ramona and Wallace served as better voices of reason, Kim and Wallace had better chemistry with Ramona and thus worked better as her friends, and Stpehn. did nothing she did but still at least had a part to play as band leader and the only one of Sex Bomb-Omb with ambition. Stacey is not a bd character and DID deserve to still be  way more prominent.. but her move to the back let Kim take her place and rightfully so. And not just because of the crush on kim thing, Kim’s just more compelling and tha’ts an objective fact. Still would’ve been nice to learn more about Stacey though. 
Scott then frees his girlfriend from a conversatoin with Sandra and Monique, as Julie bitchily told both about Gideon which Envy told her about, because as your every couple of paragraphs reminder, Julie is a piece of shit. Scott then orders them some alchols, breaking his usual teetotling and runs into kim, hollie and joseph. with Hollie here to see the band and .. Joseph here to see todd. At least h’es honest.. for this volume. Anyways, our happy couple soon split off for a bit and while we bounce back and forth.. i’m just going to cover what hapepned with each seperately as SOMEHOW tumblr once again ate a good hour’s worth of work, this review is already a day late, and I have both abother one and a dental apointment today. So in short
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Ramona and Kim: Kim fills Ramona in on her past.. via  tone down, seemingly contridctary, and as we’ll find out later the true version of what happened: She was with Simon, he was a dick, Scott showed up he was also a dick, things happened. I guess. Ramona is disapointed, though Kim does provide some crucial info on her moving to tronto.. and reuniting with scott. 
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It honestly.. explains a LOT of why Scott is the way he is what happened with Envy. He saw Envy change entirley as a person.. and thus feels changing as a person , and smoking, is a sign of something bad.. when really it just means.. your changing. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worst but we area LWAYS changing and it took me a lont time to realize that. The two are distracted from this though by Todd sloppily making out with Lynette in front of everyone. 
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We’re also reintroduced to Crash and the Boys, now redubbed the boys and crash, and seemingly playing music without intsturments. The thorughly lovely and rediculous explinaton for this and their new gloves and goggles, i’ll save for in a bit. 
Scott and Envy, Scott and Knives: Scott goes out to get some air.. only to find Envy, who despite menally tourturing him for a few days insits they talk like regular people.. Scott wisely counters with “Nat when did we ever talk like real people” and while saying he won’t get to call her that again, it still chips down her walls for a second and shows that a bit of who she used to be, loath as she is to admit it, is still there. 
Scott then spots knives... and has a moment of truth. And a hell of a series of reaction panels
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It’s a VERY good scene.. that i’ve written about TWICE now but regardless, it shows Scott.. genuinely changing. Ignoring his past actions, running away from them and trying to pretend he never fucked up once... that’s been his go to. It’s his main flaw and hte one that takes the entire series to deal with as we’ll get into. And it’s here.. he faces it for the first time. He’s scared of knives at first.. but realizes.. he genuinely hurt her, and she’s where she is, cold, alone, and huddled in an ally lost and confused, because of him. Sure Envy hurt her.. but so did he.. and what’s worse. he did it just like Envy hurt him. Not thinking of her as a persona nd throwing her away when he didn’t need her. And so after books of build up.. he finally takes some responisblity and talks to her. It’s WHY the books work: Sure scott’s a dick, and remains a bit of one throughout, but.. he means well, isn’t inteitonally a standoffish prick, and slowly grows PAST this, and tries to be better, for Ramona.. and just because it’s the right thing to do. 
So Knives reflects on the past few weeks, admitting that it’s been unbearably painful.. but she can’t and won’t go back to who she used to be. She’s lost her innocnce and all that, been dumped by the “love of her life”, been punched in the face by her faviorite drummer and treated like dogshit by her faviorite artist. Todd did nothing for once but gets no credit because of who we’re dealing with here. Point is.. it was a lot and while sh’es not HAPPY.. she’s greatful for it. Scott however.. steps up, saying what Envy did was wrong, she deserved better.. and finally, after how terribly he broke up wit hher.. apologizes for how he hurt her. And while Knives takes this as hope they’l get back together, Scott continues to be very mature, especially for his usual behavior, telling her no, it won’t happen, to give neil a try as whle she is dating him because he looks like Scott he’s not all bad, and that wallce was right: she was too good for him. And while Knives isn’t ready to accept it.. Scott did the right thing. Good for you man. 
So while he, and later kim and stephen seperatly, get ready, Ramona.. runs into Envy. Whose oddly nice for ahlf a second.. before bringing up Gideon and giving Ramona a barrage of insults, clearly trying ONCE AGAIN, to knock her down and wreck her. Thing is while Scott clearlya nd understandably has baggage with Envy is easy prey for her manipulative elephant dung, Ramona. isn’t. All Envy’s done is piss her off more and more with each act of high school level mean girl bullshit... and sh’es done with it. 
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FIGHT’S ON. This Volume.. is honestly where Ramona really comes into bloom, pun intended, as the duetragonist of the books. While the book IS about Scott getting his life together and their relationship and he’s still her hero.. the books are also about RAMONA growing as a person, her own flaws and past, and the climax of all of them.. is just as much about her as it is scott. And this book has her own flaws come into play: Just like Scott she runs from the past, from who she was, and only faces it when needed, which will become more apparent as we go. But at the same time, we get to see far more of her personality as a result as her mysterious facade continues to drop. She’s prone to getting upset, but also clever and witty and knows her limits, knowing that going to that second performance would’ve just done no good and knowing herself very well, something Scott has genuine trouble with. She’s strong, sarcastic and knows who she is and what she wants and this volume finally brings that into focus. Not only that but her fight with Envy, is just as warranted, climatic and awesome as Scott’s fight coming up, as no one has stood up to envy due to her fame.. but Ramona.. dosen’t care. Someone’s gotta stop her, and Ramona’s taking up the job. And the awesome looking hammer. 
That being said taking up a giant hammer against a beloved celebrity dosen’t win you any point, so Ramona finds herself discouraged, even if Envy can very clearly handle herself. Thankfully she gets some encouragment from exactly who you’d expect. 
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And Wallce.. turns out to be pretty useful. At least in this one fight. His shouting not only gives Ramona her fight back.. but keeps distracting envy, leaving her wide open. The tide turns though when Wallace has to pee, and Envy uses the distraction to knock the hamme rout of Raona’s hand and prepare to flatten her. But once again.. someone save sher in the knick of time.. and this time it’s the LAST person you’d expect, as Knives gives the hammer a flying kick.. and then crashes into a wall, and when Ramona, understandably not getting this since she tried to turn her into swiss cheese earlier this week, asks why, Knives admit’s she just wants Scott to be happy. Knives has grown too, and while she’s still obessed with Scott and waiting for themt o break up.. she’s no longer going to try and wedge her way in. If Ramona is what Scott wants, tha’ts what he gets. 
All three are distracted by well.. this...
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State of your outfits mates. Though that line is iconic. But serously the outfits are hilaroiusly and reaslitically mismatched. Kim’s home made and overdone gothica lolita outfit that dosen’t match her AT ALL, goth yes , poofy goth no. Stephen’s johnny cash outfit he clearly had lying around and Scott’s Dad Suit. 
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That being said.. still the best looking one of the three. But Envy takes advantage to regrab the hammer and try and murder the two of them.. but Scott sees this.. and well... you get it by now, one more time. Bake me away toys!
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So we get the final weeks or days or whatever of the relationship. In a nice parallel to Scott playing Ramona a song he does the same for Envy.. who both questions what this is for then is confused why he’d do something so sweet. Next scene is her getting a call while their cuddling in bed from some guy she idntiefies as Jason and.. barely disguises is clearly cheating on Scott with. and could possibly be todd I dunno.  After that we get to Kid Chamelon preparing to sign a deal and Envy.. trying to press Scott into sginging it, ignoring his obvious discomfort, and then casually threanting to replace him. While Scott does give us a face punchingly dickish comment about “How he started this band to meet chicks and maybe he met the wrong chick”... he’s still somehow in the right as while he’s being a manic dickhead... Envy has ceased seeing him as a person or even something she cares about and tells him to get a hair cut and leave. 
We then get the breakup itself as Scott goes up to envy.. and she tells him to get out of her life. ack in the present, Scott’s grown enough to realize he has to stop her and does so.. by touching hte back of her knee which.. uhhhh.
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So yeah.. he beat her with an orgasm, and that looks oddly hot. And i’m moving on before that last part of the sentence sinks in. Envy, once she recovers, orders Todd to do a murder on them, but Todd’s not there and Ramona, naturally, brags about him having cheated on her. Envy.. denis.. this. 
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I .. don’t have time to unpack that. This review is late, I have two other reviews to get to today. Time for ANOTHER flashback. 
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This time it’s Envy teling a story bok verion of her and Toddd’s relationship. It’s a real poetic and well done sequence. In a nuthsell: Envy and Todd were best friends and deeply in love as kids until todd moved away i’m guessing sometime in middle school. Deeply depressed, Envy sailed through life as sort of a ghost, TRYING to find another connection like that, but failing. Todd returned after she graduated though, and gave her a symbol of his love.. a hole on the moon. Yes another one. And they both promised to never waiver as he went off to the vegan academy. Clearly Envy did with Scott... but it paints her ambition in another light. One where she wanted to be big and bold enough for him.. but slowly carved out her old self to do so. 
And as is obvious it was pointlness: not only did Envy love someone else.. but Todd never cared as much as she did. As Ramona points out, and relcutnantly because even she feels a little bad about this one, he did the moon trick with her.. and this time Envy CAN’T deny it.. becaue the evidence is right there. 
And of course Todd.. makes his case even WORSE by picking that moment to come out of the bathroom, sipping up his pants, with panties on his head, and with Lynette following right after him. Envy.. tries to murder Lynette, her go to, but LYnette teleports out. Because she can do that. Though Envy does hit her cyborg arm so she looes that and the panties and Ramona offers to mount it at her place if Kim takes the panties, but kim admits she wasn’t scrapbooking, she said she was and was just making the dress. Horay, as ramona puts it “Col se can still be friends. Right.. FRIENDS. 
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Envy TRIES to cave Todd’s skull in, get some therapy woman, but Todd naturally tk’s it away but despite being the king of all assholes DOES care enough not to fight her. Envy... plays nice then knees him in the nuts like he fucking deserves. Todd then returns to being the once and future douchebag by TK’ing her into the crowd and bragging about it. 
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Scott dosen’t take this well, even after everything and the final fight begins. They have a bass fight.. but like the game i’ts redicuously one sided since Todd both is a skilled bassist compared to Scott.. and is still using his psychic powers lest you forget he’s a bastard man. 
The Boys and Crash however show up to even the odds.. and their trainig is the reason they can play music without insturments as they can now manipulate pur sound. Fucking beautiful. But even they aren’t enough and Todd swats them aside. 
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While poorly is a bit harsh.. the vegan police show up, which is awesome, though the movie got thomas jane for one of them and had that high five so they win. But yeah.. while this is hilarous.. and the scene with them is great.. it’s also the weakest part of an otherwise near perfect book. It just feels a bit anti clmatic that after all this build up.. Todd is just.. beaten with a sloppy depower. The boys and crash would’ve still been a cop out, but it would’ve been a freaking cool cop out.  The thing that saves it is afterwords Scott still gets an epic finish: after they devganize him for the gelato earlier, scott headbutts him epicly and wins. He gets money and. 
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A 1-up, which understandibly terrfies him but will come in hand in a few volumes. Trust me. Scot checks on everyone. Ramona’s fine, Envy is not and breifly blames scott before he points out Todd was a no good cheating dickwad, and Kim is obviously fine as nothing happend, but him asking is a nice bit of charcter growth. Kim asks about kinves but she’s okay and neil is helping her. But theshow must go on and since the headliners are dead (don’t worry he’ll respawn), in parts unknown and in emotoinal apocalypse, someone’s gotta play.
So our heroes have the show of their lives, and crowd reaction is mostly positive with Jospeh noticing htier levels were horrible, a hint for next time, and the crew interviewing everyone.. including a mysterous gentleman having a beer, who has no commenta nd walks away. 
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 Gideon.. was here the whole time,but he’s not ready for Scott JUST yet. Still a really damn cool tease for the final boss. 
So we close the next day, Scott and Envy sorta make up, with both apologizing for their behavor and while Scott gets no closure, envy promises to return.. and makes good on it. But.. that’s for the finale. For now Scott’s girlfriend and best buddy give him a moment to baste in his pathos, before heading off. And in a nice bit of metaphor, the clouds part, and our three amigos walk off into the sunset and a bright future. Three down 4 to go.  Next time: Lesbian Artist Ninjas! Side Stories! Scott Gets A Job! The Band gets a producer! Kim gets a decent apartment and a boyfriend! Lisa returns! See you in feburary. 
Until then if you liked this review, spread it around andi f ther’es a comic you want me to cover, my comissions are open. Until the next rainbow, it was a pleasure. 
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kameonerd566 · 3 years
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TAG GAME 7 comfort movies and tag 7 people!
Tagged by: @ydosomthingshappen thanks so much for the tag!! :D
1. SHREK 2 - omg what a cinematic masterpiece like DAMN and don't even get me started on the soundtrack <3
2. Megamind - I am trash and I have watched this movie 6 times in the past two months... It awakened something in me idk maybe its the raging bisexuality :3
3. School of Rock - Jack black is the fun uncle/older brother I never had and they way he is such a good and fun caregiver to those kids in this movie makes me cry EVERY SINGLE TIME and bonus points for all the rock music ;u;
4. SCOTT PILGRIM VS THE WORLD - I have seen this movie 13 mothafuckin times in the 8 years I've known about it I have a PROBLEM ok I just love Ramona and Kim so much ;∆; and I really relate to Scott except if I had to fight 7 evil exes I would simple perish at ex #1 bc I am a noodle but alas,, quite literal girl of my dreams WHERE ARE U ;;0;;
5. The Goonies - ok so I know a lot of it didnt age well being from the 80s and all but there's just something so nostalgic about kids going on a pirate adventure so their parents can afford their house and don't have to move,, I wish I could go on a pirate adventure and bond with a one eyed skeleton ;u; maybe minus the blender hand scene tho... 0.0
6. Perks of Being a Wallflower - this one is less of a comfort movie and more of an all time fave just cuz it makes me ugly cry for the entire film without fail every single time ;;u;; but its super great for when u wanna let out a good cry and remember high school and feel mothafuckin INFINITE god I should have made that my senior quote WHAT WAS I THINKING
7. I literally cannot choose between all the ghibli films so imma just say all of them ehhehe but top three are Spirited Away, Howl's Moving Castle and Ponyo <3 call me a dirty cheater for putting three in one spot are if I care >w<
This was so fun omg!! Thanks for letting me overshare about my fave movies!!
Tagging: @batnoob @kaen-ace-of-ravenclaw @sepia-schattentau @oo0owo0oo @shane-pierce-your-heart @wewillryes and @interstellar-crab
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taramaclaywasaterf · 3 years
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Hi, where are the quotes in your header and bio from? Just curious 😊
They’re all from the band Sloan! Aka the most underrated band to ever exist in the entire history of the world. They’re fucking *dope.* There’s four members that essentially each write/sing their own songs, so the band goes through so many different genres, and going to one of their gigs is like watching a game of musical chairs. It’s so fucking good, oh my god. I’ve been into them since I was like 11.
One of the members, Chris, even worked on Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. Yeah, *that* Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. He literally taught them all how to play instruments, and you’ll see his hands in some of the close ups of the guitars in the movie. It’s fucking awesome. The first time I met him, he and I sat in the back of a dive bar after all the other fans left and talked for like over an hour while the rest of the band/crew packed up, and he’s the coolest person I’ve ever met in my entire life. I want him to adopt me as my big brother. I think I’d die. Yeah, I’m a Chris Murphy fangirl. Sue me. I fucking love the guy.
Anywaysss so the “Who Taught You to Live Like That?” is from their song by the same name, which makes me think of the show Shameless (the US one) every time I listen to it. The “Coax Me, Cajole Me” is from their song, well, “Coax Me” which fucking slaps. The “don’t believe that no one cares(...)” quote is from the first song I ever heard by them, called “Everything You’ve Done Wrong.” I could go on a huge biblical length tangent right now about how I found the song (and therefore the band) in the first place, but this is already a super long post and I don’t want to turn it into a novel lol
Some songs for those looking to get into Sloan, because it is my life’s mission to make as many people fans of this goddamn band as I possibly can:
Grungey 90s rock:
•Losing California
•Underwhelmed
•Teachers in the Bleachers
•Coax Me
Songs to vibe to:
•Three sisters
•Beverly Terrace
•Cleopatra
•Waiting For Slow Songs
•Same Old Flame
•44 Teenagers
•Stood Up
•The Day Will Be Mine
•Witch’s Wand
•Learn How to Play Dead
•The Other Man
•Nothing Lasts Forever Anymore
Just straight up rock:
•She Says What She Means
•Iggy and Angus
•I’m Not a Kid Anymore
•Step On It, Jean
•Chester the Molester
•Who Taught You to Live Like That
•If It Feels Good, Do It
•Money City Maniacs
(Honestly, anything off the Navy Blues album lol)
If you wanna listen to the Beatles because you like the vibe but you don’t do it because you hate J*hn L*nnon:
•The Lines You Amend
•Everything You’ve Done Wrong
•Take Good Care of the Poor Boy
•Rest of My Life
Ahhhh ok thats just off the top of my head. I’m probably gonna kick myself at 2am this morning and be like “oh fuck I forgot (blank)!” but they’ve literally got like a million songs over the course of 20+ years and still putting out new shit so it’s hard to keep track of them all lol
...Oh, but if you were asking about the “this is a Parvati Shallow stan blog” thing, it’s totally unrelated to Sloan...it’s talking about our lord and savior Parvati Shallow from the reality show Survivor, who is a bisexual icon and goddess among us mere mortals. She’s one of the first (possibly *the* first) women I remember ever having a crush on as a kid, and I’m still in love with her to this day. I mean. Like. Look at her:
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She’s easily one of the sexiest women I’ve ever seen in my life, and if you’ve ever watched her play Survivor: Micronesia, you’d understand just how goddamn incredible she is. She eats men alive then spits out their bones and laughs the whole time she does it. It’s amazing.
So yeah I’m sure you were not expecting a goddamn novel as a response but, like, this band has been my literal life since I was an actual tiny little child, so I can’t help but to ramble whenever talking about how much I love them lol
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agentnico · 4 years
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Top 20 Best Movies of the Decade (2010′s)
Now that we have entered the 2020s, it’s time to look back on a decade of movie magic. To emphasise the importance of each year, I’ll balance things out by including two films from each year for my Top 20 list. I’ve tried to pick films that both defined this decade as well as appealed to me personally, so my list will of course, as always, be different from yours, but hopefully, I won’t totally irritate you with my humble choice, which I deem worthy to post online for the public eye to witness.
2010:
INCEPTION - “You’re waiting for a train...” Christopher Nolan unarguably is the most exciting and original directors working today. Each time he releases a movie, its an event. A literal must-see at the cinema. Which is why this isn’t the only film of his you will find on this list. With Inception, Nolan gives us a movie that is both enjoyable and imaginative, rewarding the audience for the attention that it demands. Filled with so much detail that if you miss certain shots, you will completely get lost in confusion of the narrative (as confusing as it already is). It’s intense and complex, with great performances from the likes of Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Hardy, this movie will leave you lingering for more even after that mysterious ending.
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SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD -  “You cocky cock! You'll pay for your crimes against humanity!” Once again, another exciting director on this list (oh there are so so many!). Ever since Edgar Wright emerged from the British isles, he’s given us some of the funniest films of the past decade and onwards. His Cornetto Trilogy is a blast, Baby Driver is a blast, Ant-Man was going to be even more of a blast if Marvel allowed Wright to do his magical shenanigans his way, and the upcoming Last Night in Soho will surely be a blast also. With Scott Pilgrim vs. The World Wright creates a meta-clever universe taking inspiration from comic books and video games and filled to the brink with wink-wink-nudge-nudge humour, this is an exciting and very sarcastic over the top endeavor. Also, Brie Larson in this movie.....phew!! And unsurprisingly, its all a blast!
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2011:
DRIVE - “I just wanted you to know, just getting to be around you, that was the best thing that ever happened to me.” Drive is more of an elegant exercise in style, and its emotions may be hidden but they run deep. A shamelessly disreputable, stylish, stoic, ultra-violent thriller with amazing stunt work, one of the best opening sequences of any movie this decade and a neon-pumped soundtrack that’s a must-own for all vinyl users, if you still haven’t seen Drive, there’s only one thing you can do. Clue: it’s to go watch Drive.
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MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE - GHOST PROTOCOL - “Your mission, should you choose to accept it...” Tom Cruise’s deal with the devil allows him to do some literally impossible stuff, and though I don’t condone his Scientology ways, the man’s stunt work and efforts in his area of expertise are worth all the praise and respect. To be honest, I’m commemorating all three of the Mission Impossible flicks that graced our screen this year (Ghost Protocol, Rogue Nation and Fallout). This franchise is like a game of dodgeball, except that Tom Cruise is the dodgeBALL, being thrown and thrust left and right like nobody cares. Also, with me being Russian, the fact that a movie manages to destroy the Kremlin and then have me not hate the film in the aftermath shows that this film is way too fun to hate.
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2012:
DJANGO UNCHAINED - “Gentlemen, you had my curiosity, but now you have my attention.” Quentin Tarantino is one of my favourite directors working today. And Django Unchained happens to be my favourite film of his. The writing for this film is orgasmic (I went there!). The way the actors deliver the lines and the lines of dialogue themselves sound almost poetic to my ears. I can quote so many lines from this darn thing. The cinematography is immaculate. The soundtrack choice is great. The performances, my goodness, the PERFORMANCES!! Jamie Foxx does arguably his career-best work here, but also we have Christoph Waltz and Leonardo DiCaprio both chewing up the scenery, and I’m sure everyone has heard the story involving DiCaprio and the broken glass. Django Unchained is an easy choice on this list for me, and possibly in my Top 10 of all time.
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LES MISERABLES - “Do you hear the people sing?” The film that is based on a musical that is based on a book that is based on certain true events. Tom Hooper did an interesting choice of having actors sing live in front of the camera during filming rather than pre-record their voices, and it works to grand effect, though Russell Crowe should have probably been given more singing lessons. The movie is one hell of a way to adapt such a popular stage musical. With an opening shot that emphasises the scale of this picture with a zoom-in towards this big ship during a storm being pulled by these poor prisoners, we are plunged into the despair and conflicts of various characters with adroit narrative thrust so that not a moment feels wasted or redundant. You’d think that a film with hardly any dialogue and an overall reliance on singing wouldn’t be so emotional. Yet, somehow, it works. Also props to Anne Hathaway for winning an Academy Award for being in a film for only 5 MINUTES!!
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2013:
THE WOLF OF WALL STREET - “Sell me this pen.” Martin Scorsese’s mad look into Wall Street life is a bombastic caper and running at nearly 3 hours, Scorsese and his editing team manage to keep an astoundingly intoxicating pace that keeps you enthralled and engaged throughout. This one is definitely not for the families, as this R-rated fest is filled with drugs, money, sex and everything you can possibly imagine and paints quite the picture of the rich folks of Wall Street. And the middle of it all a bravura performance from Leonardo DiCaprio. Someone needs to give DiCaprio’s agent a raise, this is Leo’s third appearance on this list and we’re only in 2013!
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THE WAY WAY BACK - “I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave. You're having way too much fun, it's making everyone uncomfortable.” Sometimes a little indie flick is enough to lift a human spirit. Real, fun, uplifting and innocent, The Way Way Back dedicated to anyone who felt awkward or out of place at some point in their life, which, let’s be honest, counts all of us. I’m not afraid to admit that. So stop being a b*** and reveal your sensitive side too! Yes, you, the person reading this. Who else could I possibly be talking to? Myself? Maybe. The Way Way Back though is one of the best feel-good indie films of this decade, with the loveable Steve Carell acting very unloveable and Sam Rockwell Rockwelling himself to charm city! If you’ve missed this one, treat yo’self and check it out.
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2014:
THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL - “And?? Where is it? What's it all about dammit don't keep us in suspense this has been a complete f***ing nightmare! Just tell us what the f*** is going on!!!” Easily Wes Anderson’s best in my opinion (I have a friend who would argue Rushmore and The Royal Tenenbaums has the better hand but I think my opinion is more valid because it's me), this movie is a glossy, colorful, whimsical deadpan affair with an energetic turn from Ralph Fiennes as the hotel concierge M. Gustave H. as he and his lobby boy run into various Wes Anderson regulars and deal with murderers, stolen paintings, love affairs, prison breaks, and all kinds of crazy shindigs, but all shown in such a casual Wes Anderson way. This movie is like a slice of cherry pie - damn fine!
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INTERSTELLAR - “Murphy’s Law doesn’t mean that something bad will happen. It means that whatever can happen, will happen.” As promised, Christopher Nolan makes another appearance on this list, now with his space time-traveling epic Interstellar, where he takes inspiration from the likes of Kubrick and Tarkovsky to give us, as always, a tad bit confusing adventure with great visuals and an interesting narrative (though it does sometimes get lost in its own way), however, the key thing holding this piece together is the father-daughter relationship with Matthew McConaughey and Mackenzie Foy (and Jessica Chastain) managing to bring so much raw emotion to their respective roles that you can’t help but want to shed a tear. I mean, I haven’t cried for over 14 years, but I remember when I first watched this film, the audience around me was sobbing quite a few times during the duration of this movie. Give it to Nolan to give us the emotional moments!
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2015:
MAD MAX: FURY ROAD - “Oh what a day! What a lovely day!!” Easily the best action movie of this decade. Sorry John Wick, neither you or Tom Cruise could defeat this beast. The sheer, limitless invention behind this movie's exhilarating, preposterous chase scenes highlights action filmmaking at its finest. With big monster trucks and a random guitarist rocking-it in the middle of all the action, it’s like a nihilistic version of a Cirque du Soleil show! And it makes Tom Hardy the calmest person on-screen; no idea how it managed that.
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STEVE JOBS - “I sat in a garage and invented the future because artists lead and hacks ask for show of hands.” If there is anyone who can make formulaic, mathematical or technological sound fun and exciting, its Aaron Sorkin. The man has a talent for writing screenplays about difficult and complicated topics yet turning them approachable for the casual moviegoer. Pair him with director Danny Boyle, and the result is Steve Jobs, a look at the man behind the phone. Narratively set during three important product launches of Jobs’, we get to see the behind-the-scenes of his relationships with his colleagues and family members, and this character study is one that could have easily fallen into generic biopic tropes, but it holds it’s own right till the credits roll. Also props for showing that Seth Rogen can actually do a serious role. Who would’ve thought that pot-smoking fella had dramatic chops in him?
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2016:
NOCTURNAL ANIMALS - “Susan, enjoy the absurdity of our world. It’s a lot less painful. Believe me, our world is a lot less painful than the real world.” Fashion designer Tom Ford does sew his suits well. Apparently, he can also make great films too, with 2009′s A Single Man and with said Nocturnal Animals. This movie is truly incredible and I remember it taking me and my friend by surprise when we first watched it at the cinema. It’s shocking. Horrifying. Depressing. Upsetting. Altogether exhilarating. Being of a fashion background, Tom Ford directs the hell out of this movie, with gorgeous shots and great use of colour as well as managing to masterfully create tension and suspense when necessary. Honestly, I know Tom Ford is probably busy at a department store somewhere, but the guy needs to make another movie. The man has a talent.
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LA LA LAND - “Here’s to the ones who dream, foolish as they may seem. Here’s to the hearts that ache; here’s to the mess we make.” Oh, La La Land. Damien Chazelle’s follow-up to the also excellent Whiplash. People who know me well know how much I love this movie. An old-school tour-de-force musical that’s a love letter to jazz and the golden age of Hollywood. The city of stars never looked so good. Featuring catchy original songs, excellent dance choreography (the sequence to the song “Lovely Night” is especially memorable) and a romance tale ten times better than the forsaken The Notebook, La La Land is one special movie. I know many are put off by the film’s not so happy ending, however for me it was the only way this narrative could have ended. 
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2017:
BLADE RUNNER 2049 - “We’re all just looking out for something real.” Similarly to Nolan, Denis Villeneuve is proving to be one of the most exciting directors working today. He’s the man behind such films as *deep breath* Prisoners, Enemy, Sicario, Arrival and Blade Runner 2049. And those have all been done within the last decade. The man constantly makes quality movies of various genres, though lately, he has been leaning more towards science fiction, which is a-okay in my books, since as Blade Runner 2049 proves, he can turn science into fiction like butter on bread. A sequel made 30 years after Ridley Scott’s classic, this visually breathtaking piece is arguably even better than its predecessor with many moments giving you the “wow wow wow wow wow WOW!” factor, and when Ryan Gosling and Harrison Ford are both on-screen they are dynamite. Forget the new Star Wars film (that’s right, I'm throwing shade there), Blade Runner is where it’s at!
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PHANTOM THREAD - “The tea is going out. The interruption is staying right here with me.” The supposed last Daniel Day-Lewis film, as he has now apparently retired from acting, but let’s be honest, nothing stops him from simply unretiring at any point. Exhibit A - Joe Pesci. However, like Pesci, if he comes back I’ll only be happy. He’s one of acting greats of our time, and his collaborations will director Paul Thomas Anderson bring out some of his best roles. Phantom Thread is a marvel of a movie. No, I don’t mean that’s its part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, I mean as in it can fill one with wonder and astonishment. Phantom Thread is PTA’s Gothic dark fairy-tale romance film, which expertly planned shots and scenes where every word of the dialogue counts. There is no wasted moment. And as the film transpires to its dark and unsettling climax, one begins to realize that this, THIS, is what filmmaking is about. Telling an engrossing story in an interesting way with crisp-clear shots and off-the-chart acting at play, with great costume design on display, although the latter is unsurprising due to a major aspect of the movie revolving around fashion.
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2018:
MANDY -  “You ripped ma shirt!! You ripped maaa shiirrt!!” An acquired taste for sure, however, Mandy is indeed something truly special. From first glance, this film might seem like nothing out of the ordinary, especially from the point of view of the plot. Its the usual revenge flick. However director Panos Cosmatos’ vision and how he presents it is so much more unique. And what’s not love in this film? There’s something for everyone! It’s artsy and slow enough for the critics, hip and metal for the nonchalant, gory and violent for the hardcore genre fanatics and of course the Nic-Cage-rage factor is present for the fans of the actor. Alright, it may not be a family film, but this one is worth a watch. The whole thing is bound together by this psychedelic otherworldly environment, with the whole movie conceived in this dark, unsettlingly beautiful yet horror-filled aura that might stray people away, as it might be just too different for them, however, if you are looking for something different to watch, take mandy. I mean, watch Mandy!
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A STAR IS BORN - “Music is essentially 12 notes between any octave. Twelve notes and the octave repeats. It’s the same story told over and over. All the artist can offer the world is how they see those 12 notes.” The film that began all the rumours surrounding Bradley Cooper’s and Lady Gaga’s affair. People, heads up, they are actors! They were putting on a performance! Jeez. That being said, I totally ship them. Nuff’ said. The film though? Yes, it’s good. Some country-style music, romance blooming, Gaga can apparently act, people sing about shallows for some reason...all together works for a pretty decent motion picture. Also, the fact that Bradley Cooper wrote, directed, produced and starred in this gives me so much respect for the guy. He poured his heart and soul into this. And Lady Gaga absolutely shines!
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2019:
PAIN & GLORY -  “Writing is like drawing but with letters.” Director Pedro Almodovar semi-autobiographical film takes a close look at how one deals with acceptance, being forgotten, symptoms of depression and generally all fairly negative attributes, but delivered in such an honest and profound way that there is a strange lightness that emerges from it all. Antonio Banderas is uncannily vulnerable in the lead role, delivering such an earnest performance that shows a man that is filled with melancholic regret who seeks his own form of redemption. This movie is a thing of beauty.
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PARASITE - “You know what kind of plan never fails? No plan at all. If you make a plan, life never works out that way.” Parasite is easily the most original and surprising films of 2019, and possibly the decade, managing to subvert expectations and blend together so many different genres so naturally. To spoil any narrative element of this movie would be a sin, like this one in particular works best when not knowing anything about it. This movie comes to us from Bong Joon-Ho, a South Korean director behind such films as The Host, Memories of Murder, Okja, and Snowpiercer. It’s nice to see the awards ceremonies giving him the proper recognition finally. He deserves it.
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That sums up my Top 20 Best Movies of the Decade list. Of course, there are so many other great films that came out in these 10 years, such as Whiplash, When Marnie Was There, Paterson, Silence, Kubo and the Two Strings, The Nice Guys...I can go on forever. Cinema is a constant ever-growing medium, and it is fascinating to see how it changes through the years, in some ways improving and in some parts not so much. In any case, I look forward towards a new decade of, hopefully, great movies, however, let’s be honest, for all these great films there’s always a Norm of the North, a Scout’s Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse or frickin’ Cats. But let’s hope those will be kept to a minimum. In any case, bring on the 2020s!
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wenightmareyou · 3 years
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movie post for AR @alien-romantic !! ✨
okay i feel like my movie taste really does come down to what did i see in theaters that made me define my personality around them for the rest of the week, and i usually have Allergic to Watching Old Movies Disease so most of these are p recent! my movie taste is Also defined by what i saw enough on tumblr that eventually i broke down and watched it and it was actually amazing lol
✨favorite horror movies✨
Jennifer’s Body: THEE movie of all time, it literally has anything i could ever want in a movie: excessively campy dialogue, a plot around making a deal with the devil, a town that’s slightly fucked up, extended metaphors about gender violence but in a palatable PG-13 non-graphic format, Megan Fox going feral and eating boys, a homoerotic friendship where they also kinda hate each other but its mostly bc neither of them can deal with their feelings in the world they were brought up in, and a soundtrack that slaps. Seriously i could probably quote this movie word for word at this point, and like technically its horror but its also really funny and theres not really any jumpscares or anything. Im gonna stop talking about this one bc if i keep going i could write a whole essay but its so good (also i wont elaborate but Jennifers Body and Heathers are sisters, spiritually)
Us: hhhhhhhh this is so good, ik Jordan Peele’s only directed two movies so far but he never misses, like this was genuinely terrifying for me but also raises a lot of Questions and made me think about the implications of it for weeks afterward. It’s about this family vacationing in Santa Cruz, CA at the same time that there’s this planned uprising of doppelgängers all around the US (i cant remember if its the world or just the US? But it makes a lot of commentary about the US in particular so im guessing its just the US). I’ve still only seen it once but the aesthetics are so good, its definitely more on the violent side than Get Out was, but its not too bad (like idk if you’ve seen Midsommar but like. its nowhere near as gory as that lol). I swear i didnt have a fear of doppelgängers before this but between this and tma i sure do now
It (chapter 1): this one is so close to my heart omg 🥺 i associate it super strongly with watching it with friends so thats at least half the reason its a favorite. Also i love horror-comedies so much as a genre, mostly bc i scare easily so its nice to have jokes in between to break the tension and this movie’s hilarious
Cabin in the Woods: i cant say what this one’s about without spoiling it but i’ll say it definitely goes under the same category as It for me, in terms of horror-comedy. Its such a fun deconstruction of horror movie tropes and it gets so insane at the end, like when you watch it you can *tell* it was made in 2011 but like in a good way
Also honorable mention to The Love Witch for sending me into a spiral about what truly is the female gaze/if there can be one definition of that/the relationship between love and violence etc etc basically it’s Extremely Gender. Also not v bloody and doesnt have any jumpscares, and its an aesthetic masterpiece omg
✨favorite comfort movies/romcoms✨
Juno: i dont normally have favorite actors but Elliot Page is my emotional support favorite actor, like idk how to explain it but all of his characters just scream comfort character somehow. Juno has the same screenwriter as Jennifer’s Body so it has a really similar sense of humor, but altogether v wholesome plot about a pregnant teenager and her bff, michael cera. Also highly quotable, and i dont think ive ever watched this without crying, like this is one of those movies where im like love is real actually 🥺💕
Easy A: this movieee!!! Oh my god this movie, its so intensely californian and thats def part of why i like it. Also realizing now a major factor in movies i like is how quotable they are bc this is another one i feel like i quote all the time. Plus theres something so fun about baby Emma Stone living her 80s movie protagonist dream AND doing the “you think i’m a villain? I’ll show you a villain!” trope bc thats always fun
All of twilight but especially the first one: i mean idk what to say, i got brainworms when i was 11 and made twilight my whole personality for like 3 years, then grew out of it, then the twilight renaissance happened and im Back on My Bullshit 😂 i also just like having a purpose for me memorizing everything possible about twilight in middle school so like.... if you ever want any fun twilight facts hit me up (this goes to AR but if you’re not AR and reading this too this also applies lmao im down to talk about twilight any time)
And honorable mention to Scott Pilgrim (okay not a romcom but def a comfort movie), to be fair i havent seen this one all the way through in a looong time but i go back to the most iconic parts a lot
also okay theres def more in this category that i like but my brain is turned off now so i cant remember them 😂
✨ and the best category: movies i hate ❤️ ✨
i feel like i tend not to like movies that feel like they’re trying too hard? Like if i watch something and *instantly* know its trying to be Oscar bait, or if its trying to be camp but like,,., pretentious high end camp. Like anything by Wes Anderson is a hard nope for me, also i saw Gravity in theatres on a whim whenever that came out and it just didnt click for me at all. (Also okay The Love Witch kiiiind of checks the boxes for this but its still a fave)
Also okay this movie isnt any of those things but i still dont like it: It Chapter 2! I feel so bad cause It chapter 1 was so good and created this huge hype for the sequel for me, but the plot just went off the fucking rails. Sure we got bill hader being in love with his childhood best friend which spawned the whole Reddie craze on here for awhile..... but that came at the price of naked old ladies being used for shock value and whatever the hell was going on with Pennywise being an alien/god/something??? Like if the book is like this i know i couldn’t get through it, i was laughing my way through the whole movie but like, laughing (derogatory)
I feel like this section just became a reason to dunk on It Ch 2 but honestly the only other sequel i can think of that betrayed me like that was Endgame 😂
Also unrelated but while im still on the topic of movies i dont like/my hot takes: 10 Things I Hate About You was too sexist for me enjoy, i see it hyped on here a lot and im like ??? yall that did not age well 😭 but tbf i still like Mean Girls so we all have our things 😂
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Psycho Analysis: The League of Evil Exes
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(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)
Scott Pilgrim vs. the World is one of the greatest cult classics of the 2010s for a wide variety of reasons: it had great performances, it got a video game adaptation that didn’t suck, it had an awesome soundtrack, and best of all, it apparently ruined an entire generation of women! What couldn’t this movie do (besides make a profit at the box office)? Of course, more than anything, this movie delivered on the promise of its premise by having Scott Pilgrim fight against the seven evil exes of his manic pixie dream girl Ramona Flowers.
That’s right: There’s not one, not two, not three, but seven villains to talk about in this movie!
Thankfully, this massive amount of villains makes it a lot easier to talk about them, because each of them basically gets only a single scene with which to establish their characterization and deliver a fun, exciting battle. Still, it’s pretty interesting to look at them, especially since not all exes are created equal. As a note, I’m obviously not doing a “Best Scene” for these guys because... they basically have one scene each. It would be redundant.
Motivation/Goals: The League of Evil Exes has a very simple goal: to control the future of Ramona’s love life. As Lucas says during his battle with Scott: “The Seven Evil Exes? Coming to kill you? Controlling the future of Ramona's love life?” This is especially funny because Lucas is probably the least evil of the lot. While this is an incredibly simple motivation, it fits with the tone of the movie; this is a sort of a Bowser-esque motivation, one that perfectly fits a movie that is so steeped in video game culture.
Performance: Lets go one by one here:
Satya Bhabha is the first of the evil exes, Matthew Patel, and he really eases you into what to expect for the rest of the evil exes, though here “eases you into” means “grabs you by the balls and swings you over the head like a chimpanzee.” Despite his meager screentime, he makes the most of it, delivering a Bollywood-esque musical number complete with fireballs and demon hipster chicks and generally just hamming it up. This right here is just a warmup, though, because things get crazier from here – just like in a video game, really.
Lucas Lee, the second evil ex, is a big-shot movie star regarded as a pretty good actor by all who see him. Unfortunately, they got some unknown weirdo named Chris Evans to play him, but casting this obscure indie actor certainly paid off, because Lucas Lee’s smug, over-confident portrayal combined with his affable nature make him one of the most enjoyable characters in the movie. He really comes off as a cool, cocky guy who just happens to be going up against our hero as opposed to being an actual antagonizing force.
Todd Ingram is the other best evil ex, and much like Lee it’s mostly because he’s a pretty nice guy. However, the key difference is while Lee was cocky and affable, Ingram is just kind of a ditz. Played by one-time Superman Brandon Routh, he opts to go for the more subuded route, a cold ham as opposed to a large ham, and he definitely makes it work; I did call him the OTHER best evil ex, after all.
Then we come to Roxy Richter, played by Katara herself, Mae Whitman. She’s a very angry, tomboyish lesbian who gets in a lot of great lines and shows off a very jaded, irritated personality in her limited screentime. She’s definitely a lot of fun, though apparently she has a lot of elements of Envy Adams due to being combined with an early idea to make her Ramona’s evil ex in the movie.
The Katayanagi Twins. Ken and Kyle, are… nothing. Because Keita and Shota Saitou (Kyle and Ken, respectively) did not speak English, the twins have no lines and don’t really get to establish much of a presence before dying. It’s a bit unfortunate, because it becomes really easy to forget these two are here as a result.
Gideon Gordon Graves is a smarmy, smug, condescending jackass. You have met a man like him before, and you have wanted to punch his face in. Jason Schwartzman really amps up the sleaze when playing this creepy, controlling bastard, making him a fitting final boss.
Final Fate: Each and every one of them is defeated by the end of their scenes, bursting into progressively larger amounts of coins, with Patel being pretty meager in terms of value and Gideon literally making it rain when he’s defeated. It does kind of feel weird that the twins are worth more than a beloved actor like Lucas Lee, or that Roxy is worth more than both Lee and a musician like Ingram, but frankly this isn’t really a movie where you should be overthinking stuff to begin with.
Best Quote: I don’t think I can really say Patel or Gideon have amazing, quotable lines to the extent as some of the others, but I’d be pretty remiss to not mention Todd’s legendary “...Chicken isn’t vegan…?” and Roxy’s equally legendary “Well honey… I’m a little bi-FURIOUS!” here. Lucas Lee has a lot of good lines but he’s quite frankly too consistent for me to pick one; Chris Evans really just went all-out for this one.
Final Thoughts & Score: Once again, let’s go one by one:
Matthew Patel
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Matthew is the definition of a warmup boss, at least by the standards of this film. He brings a lot of insanity to the table all at once, what with his demons and Bollywood musical number and sick dance moves, but the fact he’s probably not the most insane and baffling character in the film really tells you something. He definitely makes the most of his screentime, and while his fight is relatively short, it’s a lot of fun. This man deserves an S-L-ICK 8/10.
Lucas Lee
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Lucas Lee is probably the second best evil ex in the movie. He’s just so cocky, arrogant, and hilarious, and he still manages to come off as a bit polite. Its like if Captain America and Ransom Drysdale had a baby, Lucas Lee would be it. The fact he’s played by a pre-superstardom Chris Evans really is the icing on the cake here though, because his battle is fun and ends with Scott defeating him by playing into his arrogance. Ah! But he didn’t get his autograph… Oh well. Lucas Lee is an easy 10/10.
Todd Ingram
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As much as I love Lee, I have to say that Todd easily has the most impressive fight in the entire film, in large part due to his awesome psychic powers he gains from being a vegan. I gave one of his legendary quotes up there, but frankly, the entire battle is awesome and quotable, the fact that at least half the battle is a rock-off is great, and the fact Scott tricks him in the most stupidly amazing to defeat him and put him at the mercy of the Vegan Police is just amazing. There’s also just the sheer novelty of how, with the power in hindsight, we got to see Superman (Routh) dating Captain Marvel (Brie Larson portrayed Envy, Scott’s ex and Todd’s girlfriend and bandmate). Todd is just a perfect, lovable idiot villain, and deserves nothing less than a 10/10.
Roxy Richter
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Roxy actually gets to show up twice in the film, getting a brief scene with Scott a while before her identity is revealed. While her screentime doesn’t really amount to much, it really is incredible how much characterization they managed to pack into her limited screentime, her dialogue really selling how she is easily the most bitter and angry off all the exes. She seems genuinely hurt at some points that Ramona left her and considers her just a phase, though this of course doesn’t stop her from trying to ruin her life. In a weird way, I’d almost call her the most complex of the exes, and Mae Whitman does a great job at selling her. I will say though, despite her fight scene being filled with some of the best dialogue in the film (which is saying a lot, mind you), the overall fight is a little lackluster, and Ramona getting in makes it reek of “designated girl fight.” Still, there’s nothing so egregious about her that I’d give her anything less than a 9/10.
The Katayanagi Twins
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These two, quite simply, suck. They get absolutely no characterization, they get no dialogue due to the actors not speaking English, they get no personality. They are, quite simply, just there, and they are just there because Scott needs to fight a fifth and sixth ex. There’s really not much to say here except that their fight scene is admittedly pretty cool and it’s fun to imagine how the hell their relationship with Ramona worked. Did they date her one after the other? Were they in a weird poly relationship? Did they both just spitroast her on the weekends? For those two things I’ll save them from the very bottom of the barrel and give them a 2/10.
Gideon Gordon Graves
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Gideon is a smug, evil, controlling creep for sure, and he is the final evil ex Scott must face. But the thing is, he kind of doesn’t feel any more wieighty than any of the others? Gideon is for all intents and purposes the final boss, and while he does get a little buildup, it all comes in the final acts of the film. It certainly doesn’t make him a bad villain – he actually manages to temporarily kill Scott, and puts up more of a fight than any of the others – but considering how awesome Todd, Lucas, Roxy, and Matthew were in style and personality, Gideon kind of comes off as underwhelming. Yes, he is definitely the most evil of the exes, but he just doesn’t really have the “WOW” factor the others do. He’s an 8/10 for sure.
Well, I guess that’s it, that’s every villain in the mo-
Wait?
What’s this?!
Psycho Analysis: Nega Scott
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2, 8, 11, 16, 30, 15 for the ask! Plus, top 3 Mike Wozniak moments and top 3 Taskmaster series :3 thanks!
Thank you for asking! 😄
2. 3 movies you have rewatched many times
Thor, What we do in the Shadows, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
8. 3 tv shows that you never get bored of
Elementary, Taskmaster, What we do in the Shadows
11. 3 books that you would recommend everyone to read
This one is difficult! I haven't read anything that isn't a thriller in ages, and there aren't many of those that I'd recommend to everyone. So here are just some books that I like a lot:
1. Matilda by Roald Dahl
2. Rivers of London by Ben Aaronovitch
3. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams
16. 3 drinks you consume the most
I only drink water and occasionally Pepsi Max Lemon. I'm really that boring. I do love tea but I'm too lazy to make it most of the time.
30. 3 moments you could never forget
1. the time my dog jumped out of an attic window (he was fine!)
2. the day we got one of our kittens and I had to pull her out from behind a heavy wardrobe because she tried to hide, and then she slept in my bed for a week and constantly peed on me (I would die for her)
3. The last time I saw my grandma a week before she died, and she promised to teach me how to make one of her recipes
15. 3 quotes that have a special place in your life
I'm incredibly bad at remembering quotes.
My brain has been loudly screaming "Bounty Biscuits Soft Soft Cookie Biscuits" (from the Three Bean Salad podcast) on repeat for a week, every time I'm not thinking anything else, so I guess that's the first one just because it's all I can remember.
Oh and there's always "We're werewolves not swearwolves" from What we do in the Shadows.
Amazing. What good quotes. I have a mind like a sieve (and I guess I could look some up because there are plenty of actually great and meaningful quotes that I love... but I won't).
Top 3 Mike Wozniak moments
Oh god this is going to be difficult. Hm...
1. When he jumped over that fence on Taskmaster (because that's when I went "oooh okay I guess I love him 😌")
2. That one Man Down interview where he looks drunk (because it's adorable)
3. Every time he laughs (because it's amazing), every time he talks about taking naps on the floor, every time he runs/does anything on Taskmaster because he moves like a baby giraffe and it makes me incredibly happy, the time when he said he likes to be told what to do, and... okay I guess number 3 is just everything else he has ever done basically.
Top 3 Taskmaster series
1. Series 11 (because Mike 🤷‍♀️ and the rest was lovely too)
2. Series 7 (mostly because of James and Jessica, and because it was pure chaos and I loved it so much)
3. Either series 9 or 5 or 4, I can't decide
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For the movie quote prompts would you please do Scott Pilgrim vs the World with Robin x reader?
Yesssssss. I had so much fun writing this! I hope you like it! I also added an extra little quote in because I couldn’t choose.
Quote: ‘When I’m around you, I kind of feel like I’m on drugs. Not that I do drugs. Unless you do drugs, in which case I do them all the time. All of them.’
“Come on guys, you have to work with me here.” You sigh as you haul a very high Steve and Robin into the back of the vehicle Dustin had stolen. Both of them giggle before falling on top of you making you groan in pain.
Rescuing your friends from a secret Russian base was not what you expected to be doing today, but thats what you get when your friends with likes of Steve and Dustin. And now Robin…
Robin Buckley had been someone you admired from afar. She was pretty, funny, kind and smart as hell. And when Steve had told you that he’d be scooping ice cream with her all summer, you couldn’t have been happier. Imagining all the cute, funny or clever ways you could introduce yourself. Or how you could impress her, or even how you would start a conversation with her.
Doing this however, was definitely not on the list. Neither was sneaking her and Steve into a movie theatre while you looked for help, and neither was losing them while there was most definitely Russians looking for you.
Walking past the women’s bathroom, you hear the very familiar and loud laugh of your two best friends, making you let out a sigh of relief before switching to thinking of how you could murder them when they weren’t high off their asses.
“Okay.” You push the door open and it hits off the wall loudly. “What the hell?” You ask annoyed. They stare at each other other before bursting into laughter. “Jesus Christ.” You roll your eyes . “Come on. We need to go. You guys are walking targets.” You hold your hands out towards Steve who clumsily takes them and stumbles to his feet. “Now you Buckley.” You face her, also offering your hands but she just shakes her head at them.
“No!” She crosses her arms, pouting like a grumpy toddler making you sigh impatiently.
“Robin. We don’t have time. We need to go now.”
“I need to tell you something first.” She replies, glancing at Steve.
“You promised you wouldn’t tell!” He shouts.
“Not that.” She shakes her head. “The other thing.”
“Ohhhh. Are you sure?”  
“Very.” She nods and looks back at you. “Y/n?”
“Yes?” You tap your foot against the tiled floor as you glance at the door.
“I like you. Like, I like your face.” She says making you whip your head back to her. “And I like your brain and how its thinks. And I like when your mouth says… things.”
“You are nailing this.” Steve slurs slightly and you look between the two of them confused.
“When I’m around you, I kind of feel like I’m on drugs. Not that I do drugs. Unless you do drugs, in which case I do them all the time. All of them.�� She rambles.
“You’re on drugs right now.” You quirk an eyebrow.
“That doesn’t matter.” She shakes her head dramatically. “There’s some crazy shit going on right now. The point is, I’m in l-”
“Lesbians with you!” Steve interrupts confidently making her huff.
“No dingus!” She glares at him. “I’m in love with her. I’m in love with you.” She tells you.
“I’m in love with you too.” You reply. “But right now isn’t the best time to do this.” You add, pulling her to her feet. The bright smile that was previously on her face has faded, a pout in its place and she starts to sit down again, but you wrap an arm around her waist before she can go anywhere. “So why don’t you tell me this again when you’re not high, yeah? And maybe then, you could ask me to be your girlfriend.”
“Okay.” She agrees happily.
“But we have to leave now.” You tell her and grab Steve with your spare hand as you walk out.
“You hear that dingus? I’ve got a girlfriend and you don’t…and she’s your best friend.”
“…can anybody else hear the colour yellow?”
movie quote prompts
youtuber (+ others) masterlist (scroll down. stranger things is at the bottom!)
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This may be a bit of a dumb question, but how do you come up with titles for your fics? And chapter titles for your longfics?
 Hi! So titling things is a bit of a mixed bag for me. I’ll break this down into a few sections bc I’m actually really excited to talk about it. 
First up is shortfics with song titles (and the one that has a poem title lmao). Many of my shorter fics have titles pulled directly from songs which influenced the vibe of the fic or that I think fit well with the characters. Pretty straightforward and good for when I don’t want to think too hard lmao.
Then, there’s my shortfics with derivative or quoted titles (see “The Inherent Trauma of Being Spencer Reid,” “Square Peg, Round Hole,” or “Not Gone, Merely Marching Far Away” to name a few). Some of these come from sayings common to the universe the fic is set in, such as “Not Gone, Merely Marching Far Away,” which is a Mandalorian statement to honor the dead, which relates to Rex and Boba remembering and discussing Jango. Others are just sayings, like “Square Peg, Round Hole,” that I found applicable or even memes I adapted to the scenario (”The Inherent Trauma of Being Spencer Reid”). Others are takes on show titles or book names (”Juno Steel and the Toast That Wasn’t That Bad, Actually” is a take on the episode titles from The Penumbra Podcast Junoverse). They’re a little more complex than song titles, but ultimately are just tidbits of speech that I found interesting and relevant.
Last in the shortfics are my shortfics with entirely original titles. Most of these are just quotes from the fics themselves that I thought summed up their vibe or hinted at what’s to come (”Step 2,” “Stay, Please,” “Sweetheart,” etc.). The ones without a root in the fic are a bit more complicated. For example, “Feynman, Freud, Who Cares,” is a title I’m proud of because it references something Spencer said, Spencer’s love of physics, the nature of his gender identity, and my own physics hyperfixation at once! Many are like that, pretty obvious: “The Aftermath” refers to the aftermath of Mando s2, “To the Bone” refers to Peter’s injury and the way he was forced to open up, “A Little Closer Than Anticipated” refers to the surprise of Loki and Valkyrie’s relationship, etc. 
Some of the original titles are pretty abstract, though. One of my newer fics, “Sharks,” got its title because of a thought I had about sharks circling the water, waiting to smell blood. Obi-Wan’s feeling that something bad was coming reminded me of a shark attack. “Lysed” is a word for what happens when your cells explode due to internal pressure, which Clint sort of talks about in that fic. “In Name Only” is some in-world meta that I never got into because I never finished it oop-. Essentially, the abstract ones just sort of come to me. 
Longfics can be harder to name, but some of the same rules still apply. For example, “Aaron Hotchner vs the World” is just a take on Scott Pilgrim vs the World, which I thought was funny at the time. “Rendered Small,” my longfic in the making, is just a quote from a poem Palpatine recites to Maul. Honestly, “Damning and Dizzying in Equal Measure” just occurred to me while I was filling out the title box. 
Chapter names are both harder and easier. Sometimes, I don’t bother with them. When I do, though, I think about how much the reader is likely to care about the titles. “Damning and Dizzying” was published in one sitting and I thought people would read it in one sitting, so I used the chapter titles for vibey purposes and not informative purposes. AVW, though, was longer and published in pieces, so I thought about how to convey as much information as possible in as few words as possible. The “X vs Y” title format let me stick with a theme while also naming the main characters and hinting at the plot. 
I hope this was coherent and helpful lol. Have a lovely day!
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