#he did induce most of him and blitz's problems

[splanana-bitz]

You know what?

Shout out to complex characters. Those guys don't get enough of the proper recognition they deserve

I feel like we try too hard to make everything black and white, especially when it comes to characters, their actions, and the discourse surrounding it.

Should good characters be perfect all the time? Absolutely not! That's not how people work, and I think (to a certain degree) media needs to contain more accurate representations of how messy people and life can be, and sometimes, that means making good characters make a bad decision or giving them a complex past or a morally grey view on this or that, etc.

Should bad characters be excused for their actions? Hell no! But it's their flaws and seeing their improvement on said flaws that make it all the more interesting to see the story progress (especially if it's done right)

So, like...can we stop going to either the extreme of baby-girling and infantilizing questionable, ethically ambigious characters who's rough around the edges, or the extreme of shunning them so much and villainizing them for one bad decision...to the point we forget who the character really is and is supposed to be?

[colourstreakgryffin]

Hiiiii can you do a jealous Alastor but not of anyone but his own shadows bc his wifey takes a liking on one of his shadows.

Oooh! I like this quite a lot! It’s very interesting and unique! Once again, beloved hubby Alastor! Another one I want to explore hubby of is Blitz. I think Blitz would make a good hubby

Alastor- Picking Favourites

Alastor’s furious, steaming from his deer-like ears so hot that it’s basically boiling him… did somebody hurt his ego? No. Did Angel Dust sexually advance on him again? No. Did his breakfast get interrupted by the Hotel Manager? NO. Nothing has inconvenienced him but something awful has been happening, day by day, that he can barely keep his composure

Hearing your laughter directed at something else felt like a puncture stab wound to his throat, but knowing your laughter is directed at his mere sentient shadow basically gutted him in the stomach with a sharp butcher knife right after. You’re his wife, his missus, his realm, the woman he has been fawning over for so long and you’re hitting it up with his sentient silent shadow?!

Of course, Alastor’s fascinating lively shadow is just being nice to it’s master’s recently wedded spouse, and is trying to get you accustom to being around so much Voodoo magic and the weirdness that is Alastor himself so it’s being all caring and leading you about, showing you items and teaching you Alastor’s favourite foods

But that doesn’t mean Alastor isn’t jealous… because he is, he’s really jealous

Whilst he reads through a interesting crime fiction novel, Alastor’s tall fluffy deer-like ears flick up at the sound of your voice. He can’t sense his voodoo-magic induced shadow, meaning that it’s wondered off to you and as he suspected, you enter your husband’s soothingly silent fireplace-warmed accompanied by Alastor’s sentient shadow. It cant really talk but it makes all kinds of humming and echoey noises. It almost seems like you understand it…

Alastor’s patience, throughout every time he hears this, has finally shattered to pieces as his claws dig into the book in his hand, snapping his fingers. The shadow directly mirroring your husband’s look, fades away into thin air as if it was a big fire and a bucket of water was dumped on the top of it, rising up into streams of smoke. It’s gone and you’re confused on why it disappeared

“Darling. Why are you getting so handsy with my friend?”

Alastor almost growls out with his deep scowl�� this is possibly the first ever time you and Hell will ever see Alastor frown and frown so deeply he is… it’s kinda unnatural to look at but when Alastor willingly frowns and can’t pull himself to smile, it means he is more than pissed off… you didn’t think just being polite and going along with your husband’s voodoo magic shadow being would ever cause a problem

It’s just that Alastor’s love for you is so strong that it causes jealousy to concur and even jealousy over just some magic creating a shadowy being. Something that is sentient but mainly tied to it’s owner, to Alastor and he is jealous of his own creation

Approaching your beloved husband, the Radio Demon, you lean over, pushing back his somewhat messy crimson red bangs and kisses directly over the pale red almost bullet-sized ‘x’ on the flesh of his forehead. That ‘x’ is the biggest weak spot on Alastor, a symbol of his shame and where his pride can be hurt the most but he doesn’t mind showing off all his weaknesses and vulnerabilities to you… he had already told you about his human life

What’s one little kiss on that ‘x’ going to do?

Pulling back. It’s almost like the single kiss had melted away all his anger and Alastor is now just a soft innocent fluffy little fawn with his crimson red eyes sparkling at the affection. He didn’t suspect that, he suspected this’d turn into some big fight but you’re not going to argue, you’re going to explain yourself

“Alastor… Al, my love. I wasn’t replacing you with your shadow buddy. He was just trying to help me get accustom to being your wife. I’ve never been married before and being married to the Radio Demon… it’s. It requires a lot of adjusting so he was just trying to help”

Alastor couldn’t help but feel a bit bad about his half temper tantrum. Of course, why would his shadow care about having a spouse of its own? It doesn’t, it cares about you being the best wife for its master so it’s trying to help and get you more comfortable. Yes, he is still jealous that you didn’t come to him and go to a shadow… but he does really appreciate all the effort and the desire to not rely on him, in order to please him

After taking a deep breath whilst placing his bigger clawed hand on the smaller clawed hand of yours over his cheek, gently fondling the soft skin over his face. Alastor rhythmically brushes his own fingers over the smooth skin of your hand. Controlling himself, controlling his emotions and then finally saying whilst opening his eyes again to meet yours

Just… such beautiful eyes

“My dear… I appreciate the efforts but please, don’t think you can’t come to me. We’re husband and wife, we work together. You don’t need to go to my friends for that advice”

[ethereacals]

SO AMERICAN <3

CHAPTER 7: BAD IDEA, RIGHT?

synopsis: Remus grows attached to an american exchange student from Ilvermorny

pairings: remus lupin x american!reader

cw;, foul language

series masterlist

a/n: do you guys like the new banner???

"EMILIA DRUGGED REMUS WITH AMORTENTIA." James concluded, his hands landed firmly on your shoulders as you processed the information.

"W-What?"

"It's clear! He's been all over her instead of you!"

"Doesn't mean he's drugged." You sniffed.

"You don't have to believe me, but you will soon." James announced, leaping out of the broom closet and marching his way over to where ever he was going.

"James- James!" You chased after him, frantically clearing your tears.

"James, what if it’s too late? What if he actually—"

"No. No way. This isn’t Remus. This is some twisted potion-induced fantasy that Emilia cooked up. He would never—"

"But he thinks it’s real. That’s the problem." "Then we make him see reality." James insisted, as you ran down the hallways.

"We have to do something, but we can’t just barge in and scream ‘you’ve been drugged’ at him." You reasoned, already out of breath.

"Why not? Sounds efficient to me." James turned his gaze towards you. "Because that’s how people get hexed, James." You deadpanned. "Fine, fine. Who do we tell? Sirius?" "He’ll want to murder someone." "Yeah, I’m counting on it."

"James! You cannot murder someone! Last time I checked it was illegal." You scolded, and right before James was about to respond, you heard the most sickeningly familiar laugh.

Gilderoy Lockhart.

Exactly who you needed.

"There's our guy."

"James? James!" You were getting increasingly more confused.

"Oi! Lockhart." James yelled, catching the boys attention before slamming him up against the wall.

His posse scattered in a fearful blitz.

"What the-"

"What's your damage, Lockhart?" You spat, replacing James as you pinned him to the wall.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about-" Gilderoy writhed under you.

"You had sixth year potions last year, didn't you? You know how to brew Amortentia, don't you?" You accused, unbeknownst to you- James was incredibly impressed.

"I- Maybe-"

"A fucking maybe doesn't cut it! Yes or no?"

"Y-Yes! Yes I- I did! I do! W-What's this about?"

"Don't play dumb, dipshit. You helped Emilia Sallow drug Remus!" You nudged him farther into the wall, pressing your wand against his throat as he quivered.

"M-Yes! Yes- I did! S-She said that-that she would make one for me to-to drug y-you when sh-e finished this course!" He admitted.

"I knew it!" James cheered, and you released Gilderoy.

"Fuck off, Lockhart, and if you're smart- you'll never speak to me again." You threatened, as he scrambled to his feet and dashed away.

James clapped, as your adrenaline skyrocketed.

"That felt good."

"Good? That was bloody brilliant!" James smiled widely, grabbing your hand and tugging you away from the scene.

A plan was underway, a big one.

"WE NEED TO GET HIM ALONE, BUT Emilia is glued to his side." You eyed Remus and Emilia, as you and James sat together in the Great Hall. "He's even sitting with her." Sirius mentioned.

"I couldn't tell." You deadpanned, fists clenched.

"What's the plan?" Peter asked meekly.

"Just- waiting until Emilia cracks, we need to find an antidote though." James answered, though he sounded a bit uncertain of himself.

"You could ask someone who's knows a great deal about potions?" Lily suggested, and Sirius had an idea.

"You could talk to Reggie! He knows tons." Sirius urged, and James' head went into auto-pilot.

"R-Regulus? I'll go talk to him!" James got up- quicker than he should have according to the confused looks on his friends faces.

"I-I mean... I guess I'll go talk to him.." James sank back down in his seats.

"I'll go talk to Slughorn, but don't worry, I'm great at being discreet."

"PROFESSOR, DO YOU KNOW OF ANY antidotes for someone who is-hypothetically-under the influence of a love potion?" Slughorn turned to you, his brow furrowed.

"Hypothetically? What is this for, Ms. L/N?" He questioned.

"Well- We have that whole project on the subject. I felt it would be a good addition to my presentation." You smiled, and he nodded.

"Ah, of course. I do enjoy seeing my students so passionate about something I teach." He prided himself, as he led you to his desk.

"You would need Wiggentree bark, crushed bezoar and essence of dittany. Cures it like a charm, every time it's been tested." He smiled, turning back to you as you mentally noted what ingredients you were to be using.

"Perfect, thank you very much, Professor." You turned to leave, the second stage of your plan complete.

"REMUS... CAN WE talk?" You stuttered, you hadn't spoken to him since potions.

"You don’t have to check in on me, I’m fine. You should be worrying about James, not me."

Oh, for god's sake—enough with this ‘I’m fine’ shit! You’re about as fine as Peter is at lying!"

"I don’t have time for this."

"You always used to have time for me."

"Things change." Remus spat.

"No, they don’t. You change under a full moon. This? This isn’t you. And you know it." You urged him.

"I… I love Emilia."

"I never said anything about Emilia."

"I love her." He pushed.

"Do you? Or do you just think you do?"

"I—I don’t know! It’s like—I think about her, and it feels right, but then—then I see you and it—" He stopped himself abruptly.

"Then what?"

"Then it feels wrong."

"Then fight it! Before it’s too late."

Remus looked at you, his eyes full of something deep and pained—something real. But just as quickly as it appears, he shoved it down, his body tense.

"I need to go." His voice barely above a whisper.

Without another word, he turns and walks away, his posture rigid, leaving you standing there, fists clenched at your sides.

"We don’t have much time." You thought.

GRYFFINDOR WAS hosting a large party after their quidditch win against Hufflepuff, and most students 5th year and above were in attendance.

"Do you think their gonna show up?" James leaned over towards you, Sirius mirroring him on your other side.

"We can only hope?"

"Oh, speak of the devil." Lily muttered, as Emilia came strutting in with Remus as if he was on a leash.

The snake sauntered over to Gilderoy as they held a pleasant conversation, before James sauntered over to a large table in the center of the common room.

Sirius also took action, pulling Remus aside and into their dorm room as "shit was about to hit the fan" according to Marlene.

"Attention everyone!" James shouted, actively gaining attention from his peers.

"I just wanted to congratulate my mind-blowing team, on another win!" The Gryffindors erupted into applause and cheers, just as James shushed them once more.

"I just have one question-" He added, his loyal crowd waiting in suspence.

"Emilia, you look great tonight." He started, and her face lit with shock.

"O-oh? Really?" She batted her eyelashes.

"How long have you been drugging Remus Lupin?"

tune in next time on; so american

@hisparentsgallerryy @lydpop @amatoanima @po3tbbygirl @thequeen0fhearts @yourlittlefries @jsprien213 @liviessun @wandasbitch22 @michtellch @hellokitty-girl666 @bmyva1entine @n1ght-vngel @anehkael@wolfstcr @assorted-knives @mrsblackx @moonyswifee @sunset-toast @sammyreid @wsplalala @msfandomsblog @yimthesynonym @flowerytombx @rubyinthebooks @cattleray

[musicalherbalist]

"Witness me now! Come, Caress me now!" "These translucent clothes I'll now adorn!" "Break from my cocoon, butterfly born anew!" "I'll show everything in all it's glory for you!" "This stage, bitter cold, performs not a soul." "So, I'll step to the beat with a 1, 2, 3!" "Not a puppet at all, just dancing along!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ This isn't really my usual kind of art, and I know I promised oc stuff, but I've been lowkey blitzing through Vrains while working on commissions, and tbh, I am absolutely loving it so far! I'm uh...kinda on season 3, so I figured I'd post this art I did of my favorite character! I'm not finished with it yet, but I stumbled across MICCHI's cover of "Abnormality Dancin' Girl", and it kinda fit where I think his character is gonna go. Possible spoilers below the Keep Reading for my thoughts!

I think it's going to be a "Live long enough to see yourself become the villain"-type scenario. He was the survivor of the Hanoi attack on the Cyberse World, was a refugee for 5 years, a hostage for a while, and even though he found friends and support, after things were finally safe enough for him to go home, it was destroyed, with nearly everyone he knew lost. Then, he gets to slowly regain those friends and grow closer to Yusaku and everyone else, only to find out someone he admired as a leader was the one who ruined their world, one of his friends is dissected alive, the rest are picked off one by one, Yusaku and everyone else has to suffer through fixing a problem that should never have happened, all because Lightning had an inferiority complex… So yeah, it makes sense that he'd be angry and vindictive. Everyone sees him and his kind as evil, and he'd just want he and the few friends he still has to be safe, so of course he'd go after the head of SolTech after leaving behind his smaller. The "Lazy and annoying Dark Ignis" is finally the big, bad monster others would make him out to be. This isn't something that he wants, though. It's clear that a lot of it is a front for something else. Hell, in his calling card to Akira Zaizen, someone who he seems to respect, at least, he reveals himself and tells him when he'd be coming for him, and waits until Yusaku is there to start his attack. He doesn't kill Queen either, when he honestly could. I don't think he actively wants to hurt anyone, but it's like he's just trying to... burn himself out in the most spectacular way he can, while getting back at who he can. Vrains is really, really good at depicting a good potential downward spiral for it's characters. Yusaku's story is gradually working himself out of one he'd been in since the Lost Incident, Takeru goes through one before we meet him and nearly goes through one when he has to work with Revolver. We see a potential one for Aoi, too, when she comes in contact with the Knights of Hanoi. Hell, I'll actually kinda defend the direction Go Onizuka's character went, too, because of course the guy obsessed with being "The Strongest" would crash out after finally realizing that he can be strong for just himself, only to get wiped out by Revolver with his Boomer Traps, and Playmaker for the umpteenth time later on. Hell, Season 2 is just everyone dealing with the end results of Lightning spiraling when he finds out that he's fundamentally worse than the other Ignis, and is the most likely one to cause them all to fail to connect with humanity. We see Windy mid to the end of his corruption-induced spiral, too. Why would Ai be any different? He's been through hell and back, and what's he got to show for it, ultimately? He failed. He couldn't save any of the other Ignis, Yusaku had to be put through hell, Takeru lost someone he leaned on for emotional support, Spectre didn't even have the chance to meet Earth(which could have done him some good, tbh), Aoi and her friend lost Aqua, Windy was driven to insanity, and so, so much more. Why wouldn't he want to lash out with the help of his only other ai friend? ...And why wouldn't he want someone to stop him? "Ai" does mean "Love", after all. And hell hath no mercy than that of love scorned. Also, I realized while drawing this that he made himself into a gay pirate twink, and I couldn't be happier for him looking fabulous during his possible crashout! Thank you for reading, if anyone did!

[pochapal]

I hate doctor 11 but ive never been able to explain why in like words lmao. He feels like such a mary sue character imo and like theres something about his characterisation that was always just really ineffective (like the stuff about fishfingers and custard or whatever it was). Imo i'd love to hear you give top 5 worst things about the 11 era because i rlly just love when it gets torn apart

i hold nothing but a seething contempt and loathing for that man. every time he appeared on screen i felt ready to snap like a riled up chimpanzee in my enclosure. i am frothing at the mouth and overcome with a desire to start flinging heavy objects. this might be incoherent and inconsistent but i started this rewatch in feb 2020 and only finished this week so i got through 11′s episodes last august/september time and i refuse to revisit it to jog my memory or fact check anything i’m saying here because this man does not deserve the space in my mind for that.

the first thing is i can’t fucking STAND the quirky whimsy timey wimey bit he has going on all of the time. i can’t even say this is because this is a kids show and i was a teen and then adult when i first properly watched him but actually!! when i was eleven years old i’d sleep over at a friend’s house most weekends and it always coincided with the airing of a new season 5 episode and i remember we watched the finale with the dumb time hopping to get out of the box prison that was never explained and didn’t make sense and i thought at the time “this is really stupid”. and before that my only other doctor who exposure was watching the david tennant christmas specials with another friend and throughout childhood my only opinion on doctor who was “this is a tv show that is not for me but is one that all the boys i am friends with like so i will put up with it to maintain our friendships” but at least those episodes were both suspenseful and engaging enough to keep me watching all the way through. like who the fuck does an end of the world sci fi plot and approaches it with an “oopsy woopsy i am a funny little alien man who is going to stop you all by making you do a hecking silly” like it’s unneeded and self-parodies an already cheesy show to the point where it becomes unwatchable and makes it impossible to ever take this man seriously.

next thing that downright sucks ass so badly is the stupid fucking overwritten constantly escalating plotlines. like everything from season 5 up until his regeneration at the end of season 7 is meant to be this grand interconnected cosmic plot about how...the doctor trying to bring back his planet will end the universe or something so all the top powers across all of reality tried again and again to stop him from doing that except he doesn’t know what’s going on so he keeps thwarting these people who supposedly mean good?? i mean i sure don’t fucking know what they were trying to say!! like for some reason we never get the doctor suddenly becomes this superdemon that threatens everything so these people (whoever they are) decide to, in sequence: suck him through a time rift to erase him from existence, trap him in a prison and remake a universe without him, take his companion’s baby and turn her into a perfectly trained doctor killer, form two(!!) secret societies to hunt him throughout history that are only stopped by his companion splintering herself across his personal timeline to protect him, and repeatedly cause reality collapsing events because it’s a kinder outcome for the universe than what he will do. this grand and terrible event turns out to be...he spends a few hundred years chilling by a rift that leads to his home planet and protects a few generations of children from monsters which convinces them to give him infinite regeneration power then fuck off back to their pocket universe. and it’s like!! what is the point of anything that happens in this man’s era when everything is always “the darkest moment” or whatever the fuck!! i don’t care!! we never get a compelling reason to believe this bumbling clown of a man could ever be a universal threat!! the whole thing is so dumb i hate it!!!

thing number three i hate is how the eleventh doctor is ALSO characterised as this abrasive egotistic male supergenius to the point where he becomes genuinely indistinguishable from bbc sherlock. genuinely who enjoyed seeing this guy constantly tell people their tiny human minds can’t comprehend what he’s doing and then basically just wave his magic wand to solve whatever problem each episode is facing. 2012 is the year of human sin because this fucking shitsmear character archetype somehow became both a redditor role model AND a tumblr sexyman and it’s like!! nobody is enjoying this stop making this seem cool! him saying timey wimey thing any time he does anything is frustrating and dumb and locks the viewer out of giving a fuck about anything that is happening! smartest man in the room syndrome is a disease and the eleventh doctor is terminal with it. like remember how they established river as an accomplished scientist (when she wasn’t being a child soldier or a time paradox or whatever the fuck) and every time that came up mr doctor eleven man was like “oh this thing is obvious because i’m a genius and you didn’t realise because your brain is tiny so get out of the way and let the grownups think” or that time it turned out amy had been replaced with a slime clone for half the season and the doctor chewed rory (audience surrogate) out for somehow not realising this fact we didn’t know right from the start and like. this served no purpose other than to draw into severe question why the doctor is also this super beloved magical figure implicitly trusted by all children everywhere like. mr steven moffat is totally allergic to writing and solving mysteries in his tv show and fuck you for wanting to figure things out as you go along based on the new evidence you uncover at strategic plot intervals just let this asshole man use magical thinking to reveal he knew the answer all along and you’re a fucking idiot for not also realising this thing which had no basis or precedent anywhere else in the show.

speaking of dumb things let us not forget the absolute shitshow that was minority representation in this era. i’m not even talking about the low hanging fruit of how genuinely unironically sexist amy and clara were written where each episode moffat either seemed to loathe them or was incredibly horny over them and they had no character growth or arc or fucking anything. i’m talking about how fucking shit terrible the incidental representation was. god remember how every single fucking gay person who appeared in this era was written as one incredibly fucking stupid joke and how the women were all either sexy dominatrix, feeble girl in love, or Mother (or all three in some really terrible cases) and i’m not qualified to talk about this but also how incredibly white this era was and how on two separate occasions we had monarchs reimagined as sexy girlbosses with a gun played by black women who the doctor leched over. nothing about any of this was good ESPECIALLY coming off the back of rtd who was surprisingly forward thinking for 2005 and did a really good job of positing travel with the doctor as queer allegory. in comparison moffat gave us THE MOST heterosexual shlock i’ve ever had to endure. amy and rory could have been interesting characters were they not hemmed into this domestic bickering young straight married couple bullshit that was in no way changed or altered by traveling with the doctor except for the quasi incestuous river song reveal that was dumb and bad and stupid.

the last major mega gripe i have with the series is moffat’s fucking jingoistic boner for british military aesthetics. this carried over throughout his entire tenure as showrunner but was super terrible vomit inducing in eleven’s era. the unironic admiration for ww2 britain and winston churchill is downright wretched. are you incapable of telling a second world war story outside of churchill’s london and plucky blitz fighters. shit gives me hives so badly. and then!!! that weird church owned army that features in the future that end up being bad not for the concept of what basically amounts to an imperialistic intergalactic rendition of the fucking crusades but because they’re part of the nonsense go nowhere puzzlebox narrative that says the doctor is a not good man who will do bad things to the universe :(. remember how rtd’s doctor was a freshly traumatised man hot off the war criminal press who time and time again vehemently refuses to engage in military violence, but who tragically inadvertently turns every one of his companions into soldiers in his own personal army, and he has this moment of complete horror at the realisation and it is this which causes the downward spiral that ends in 10′s regeneration. and then how there’s this cringe line about how there’s a force of people who are “the doctor’s army, always ready to fight his battles when he’s not around” or some shit and then it turns out this is actually massive literal military operation and we’re meant to celebrate this. fuck off.

bonus round because this needs to be said but i have never hated anything like i hated that fucking human tardis episode. everything about it induced violent anger in me from the sickening overindulgence of that softgoth dark whimsy helena bonham carter tim burton aesthetic to the bafflingly terrible evil carny stereotype of those junk scavengers to the overblown sudden tragic shipbait romance of human tardis and the doctor. every word out of her mouth was trite shit and the fact that the death of her body was presented as this super emotional dramatic scene despite there being no buy in or incentive to care and the fact that every single person on tumblr in 2012 ate that shit up like it was fucking gourmet. i loathe every single thing about that episode so much.

[internetkatze]

Aziraphale has fallen. In love, that is.

An introspective ficlet following his thoughts one certain night in 1941. [edit: now also on AO3]

---

The problem, Aziraphale had decided, was feelings.

There had been far too many of them in the past two hours.

First, there was pride.* Then surprise. Betrayal. Annoyance. Surprise again. Disbelief. Hope. Panic. A different kind of panic, one induced by a ride in Crowley's new car.**

*Technically, a deadly sin, but surely bamboozling Nazis had to count for something, right? **He'd had it since 1926, but in immortal terms, it might as well have been five minutes.

Conspicuously absent from that list was the feeling that happened in between the two bouts of panic, which Aziraphale was now trying very hard not to think about, as he stood at the door of his bookshop, watching Crowley hover at the side of the Bentley, a hesitant hand against the door handle.

If this had been a normal evening, Aziraphale would have invited him in, offered a drink, and spent a few hours catching up with an old friend.

This was not a normal evening.

"Thank you," he said simply, firmly clutching the bag of books Crowley had saved. "For the ride. And. You know."

Crowley seemed to be getting the hint, although he made no move to leave just yet.

"We'll catch up later," he added bluntly. "I need to... check the inventory."

Crowley nodded.

"I'll see you around, angel," he said, a frustratingly ambiguous expression on his face, and not just because of the sunglasses. The following second of silence stretched for what felt like an eternity, until Crowley finally got back into the car in the most laid-back way possible, before immediately contradicting himself and nearly tearing up the asphalt as the car roared down the street.

Aziraphale watched it go, then fumbled to open the door, nearly tripped himself through the entrance, and slammed it shut behind him with his back, his free hand jumping up to his chest as he tried to control his deep, heaving breaths. He didn't bother to turn on the lights as he immediately made for the kitchen, dumping the bag on a side table, and started to fix himself a cup of hot cocoa*. When he was done, he brought it to his lips, only to decide he'd rather have something a tad stronger than cocoa, and added a shot of cinnamon whiskey.

*As an angel with standards, he mostly kept to the rations, but he always had extra milk for cocoa.

He went to the backroom and dropped onto the sofa (cocoa miraculously unspilled) and nursed the heat in his hands for a minute, before downing half of it in a single gulp.

Deep breaths.

It was unusual for Aziraphale to sit in the dark like this. His free time was largely spent reading, and as he did not sleep, he had little reason to turn off the lights. Even during the Blitz, he carried on as usual, angelic protection ensuring he wouldn't violate the blackout.

In some ways, it was... calming. Dulling his senses just enough.

Once the initial tension was past, he leaned back, letting the heat, the whiskey, and the darkness wash over him. He relaxed, more or less, and turned inwards. To address a certain "Feeling".

He hesitated to give it a name. His awareness danced around it. A prickling sensation seemed to overcome his heart as he pushed against it. Images flashed in his mind, a lanky figure clad in all black hopping most inelegantly down a church aisle, flanked on either side with candles and eerie moonlight beaming down through the stained-glass window like a veil...

He almost dropped his cocoa.

Eighty years it had been since they last spoke, and here he was, fretting alone in the dark.

The problem was feelings.

The problem was that when Crowley showed up, his heart leapt at the sound of his voice.

The problem was that when Crowley redirected the bomb, he realized his friend still cared about him.

The problem was that when Crowley handed back his books, all the pieces fell into place.

Everything he'd felt for centuries suddenly came into stunning clarity, filling him with elation until he was nearly bursting, a feeling so good, so powerful, so striking, so moving, it left him dumbstruck until Crowley, picking his way through the ruins, had glanced out over his shoulder and called, "Are you coming?"

Aziraphale was well-read. He enjoyed every genre, even romance, which as an angel he admired mostly in hypothetical terms. Suddenly, for the first time ever, he understood.

He was in love.

Love! Of all the feelings, surely love was a good one!

But it wasn't. It couldn't be. Never mind the joyful fluttering of his chest. It couldn't possibly be a good thing. Not when he had fallen—

The word rattled in his mind. Fallen. He laughed. Pathetic! An angel! A demon!

He drained the rest of his cocoa and covered his face with his hands.

Why, of all people, did it have to be a demon?

Even as he thought that, he knew there was no point to asking the question. It had to be Crowley. No angel, no demon, no human, nobody in Hell or Heaven or Earth or anywhere, could even come close to being Crowley. A million little memories showered down on him, kindnesses, questions, temptations. Aziraphale had been falling all the while. He hadn't realized it until he hit the ground.

He sighed deeply.

The last time they'd spoken, Aziraphale had made a terrible comment. "Do you know what trouble I'd be in if they knew I'd been fraternising?" The jab that had pushed Crowley away now turned towards him. It was so much worse than fraternising now. Despite himself, Aziraphale had gotten used to feeling wicked. Centuries of the Arrangement had chipped away at him. But this wickedness, this shame, this guilt, this—

Happiness—

No matter what he told himself, it was happiness—

it was beyond anything he was prepared to cope with.

He stared blankly at the ceiling, expecting something to happen. Divine punishment, maybe. But there was nothing but the sound of a distant clock ticking and the pounding beat of his heart.

The only though on his mind was, I wish Crowley were here.

[junker-town]

Jameis Winston is the most risk-reward QB the Saints could sign

Jameis Winston became a free agent for the first time in his career in 2020.

Jameis Winston is an occasionally stellar quarterback. And, much more often, entirely frustrating.

Jameis Winston is expected to sign a one-year deal with the New Orleans Saints. He will back up Drew Brees and serve as insurance policy in case the 41-year-old quarterback goes down with injury again. After the first wave of free agency, we took a look at why Winston was still unsigned. Here’s what the Saints will be getting with the mercurial quarterback:

The 2020 free agent market has been picked over. Players like Tom Brady, Philip Rivers, and Marcus Mariota all changed locations. Teams in need of veteran quarterback help have, for the most part, either found their new starters or made their intentions clear about turning to the draft for help.

But there’s one man out there who could still be the solution to some team’s problems. Or possibly the catalyst that blows everything up.

Jameis Winston forged an uneven path through his five-year NFL career. He’s shown the chops to will his team to comeback victories in wildfire shootouts, or blow a hole in his own boat with awful decisions. Winston has long persisted as the NFL’s Hellraiser puzzle box. If you can figure out how to unlock him, you’re in for a world of delight. As he showed the Buccaneers time and time again, those pleasures are mostly reserved for sadists.

Over the course of 72 NFL games, Winston has thrown 88 interceptions and fumbled 50 times. He’s won more than seven games as a starter only once in five seasons. He’s never been to the playoffs.

He’s also the same quarterback who’s thrown for at least three touchdowns in more than 21 percent of his starts (15 of 70). He’s recorded a single-game passer rating of 103 or better 27 times. He led the Buccaneers to 11 game-winning drives since 2015 — more than Tom Brady, Philip Rivers, or Ben Roethlisberger in the same span.

That’s a lot of variance! So what can the NFL expect from a player who wears his flaws on the outside but may still have potential yet as a franchise quarterback?

The case for: Jameis Winston, high-impact passer in a spread offense

There’s a reason Winston was the top pick in 2015 and why Tampa decided to roll with him rather than re-sign Ryan Fitzpatrick following the 2018 season. At his best, Winston is a fearless passer capable of fitting the ball into tight windows thanks to one of the league’s strongest arms. He’s finished either first or second in average throw distance in four of his five seasons. Despite this increased degree of difficulty, he’s still completed more than 61 percent of his passes.

While his 2019 was more notable for his exclusive entry into the 30-touchdown, 30-interception club, he also threw more deep passes (20+) yards than anyone in the league and completed more than 37 percent of them (38 of 102). Aaron Rodgers, who finished second in that category, completed only 28 of his 88 deep balls (31.8 percent).

Sure, Winston’s prowess was helped by the receiving tandem of Mike Evans and Chris Godwin. He was also hampered by Tampa’s abject lack of a running game, which meant Evans, Godwin, and everyone else were stuck running through a crowded secondary that didn’t have to worry about the Buccaneers’ run game.

There’s a lot of value in a quarterback capable of throwing deep against defenses who expect it, especially in a league that trends more toward college-style spread offenses each year. If you’re looking for a player who can stretch defenses vertically at an almost-reckless rate (more on that later), you could do much worse than Winston — he’s focused on creating big plays.

He’s also sturdy near the goal line. His interception rate inside the red zone was a scant 1.4 percent and helped contribute to a 99.0 passer rating inside an opponent’s 20-yard line. He had a 76.0 passer rating and a 5.2 percent INT rate anywhere else on the field.

There’s even a silver lining to his recent struggles as well. A quarterback only gets to 30 interceptions if he’s got a certain green light from his head coach. Winston absolutely got that from Bruce Arians; in 2019, he threw for an NFL-high 5,109 yards while averaging 8.2 yards per attempt. There was enough in his play that convinced Arians to accept the bad as a package deal with his good.

Those are impressive numbers in a vacuum. That’s what makes Winston an intriguing high-risk quarterback. But it’s been impossible to separate Winston from his defects.

The case for: Jameis Winston, annual NFL interception leader

We know all about the turnovers at this point. Some can be explained.

There are a few instances where Winston’s interception issues aren’t his fault. Maybe he’s the victim of a tip-drill pick. Maybe he throws up a desperation heave downfield on third-and-long while trailing late in a game. Maybe O.J. Howard drops a pass so thoroughly all a linebacker has to do is scoop it off the tight end’s back.

These moments are all understandable ... and they’re a minority among Winston’s lowlight reel.

The cantilever to his penchant for big plays is a single-track mind that always defaults back to a target he had settled on already. There are times when Winston drops back in a clean pocket, stares down one wideout for three seconds, then throws into double-coverage anyway.

Sometimes his brain and arm don’t quite align and he throws the ball directly to a player wearing the wrong jersey. Behold, a rookie mistake from a fifth-year quarterback:

A little pressure can force Winston into bad decisions, but he makes the correct read in interception to Richard Sherman above. He just flubs this pass so badly an out-of-position Sherman barely has to move to bring home an easy touchdown. And, somehow, it wasn’t even the most cringe-inducing pick-six of that game:

Good lord.

What’s worse is how many of these miscues were so immediately damaging. While he was solid in the red zone, his decision-making broke down deep in his own territory. Seven of Winston’s 2019 interceptions were pick-sixes. Five of those were returned only 32 yards or fewer to the end zone.

This is what you sign up for when you lock into the Jameis Winston experience. His confidence in his arm gives him the freedom to make monster throws, but it also gets him into trouble.

There’s no official stat for it, but I’m sure no player in the league throws more passes off his back foot in hopes of muscling a ball into tight windows than Winston. Even when he appears to understand the coverage he’s facing decides “f—- it” and launches the ball anyway.

These are all correctable mistakes, but five years and three head coaches couldn’t fix them in Tampa. The Buccaneers hoped pairing Winston with a head coach known for reviving veteran quarterbacks would help him realize his potential. Arians did that — it’s just that Winston’s potential was as the NFL’s first-ever 30-30 season.

The case for: why not both?

Winston is a big mess of a quarterback, and we haven’t even gotten into his off-field issues (of which there are many). At his peak, he’s able to move the ball downfield with an explosiveness few quarterbacks can match. In his valleys, he’s a mistake-prone pick-six machine who tries to do too much and winds up digging his own grace. There’s value in him because he’s a dynamic deep-range quarterback, but he sabotages his own play by throwing deep too often and in bad situations.

Would a lesser receiving corps force him out of his bad habits because he knows he can’t blindly trust they’ll bail him out? Maybe — but if a 30-interception season wasn’t the wake-up call he needed to make adjustments and change his approach, there’s a chance nothing is.

Still, the most likely scenario is that Winston remains a quarterback who lives on the extremes. Winston’s happy place would pair him with a top-flight receiving corps and an offensive line talented enough to withstand blitzes and keep him from panicking in the pocket. Get him that and buttress him with an overachieving defense, and he could exceed the standard set in Tampa.

[sherristockman]

Pharmaceuticals, Strip Clubs and Guns Dr. Mercola By Dr. Mercola As the opioid epidemic continues to take its toll on Americans, killing 115 every day,1 many are starting to ask the tough questions of how it got this bad. In many cases, drugs that were originally intended only for treating severe pain have become go-to treatments for mild and chronic pain, such as back pain. Subsys, a fentanyl under-the-tongue spray, is among the worst offenders. Fentanyl is a synthetic opioid that can be 100 times more potent than morphine. The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved the drug for treating breakthrough pain in cancer patients — a type of severe pain that occurs despite the patient being treated with other painkillers. Yet, in a complaint filed by the U.S. government, it's alleged that Insys, which manufactures the drug, focused its marketing campaign on treating pain in general. The complaint is the result of an investigation into five whistleblower cases filed by former Insys sales representatives as well as workers for a pharmacy benefits manager that processed insurance claims for Subsys.2 The whistleblower lawsuits have recently been unsealed, revealing the many sordid tactics used by drug companies to convince doctors to prescribe their highly addictive drugs to unsuspecting patients. Drug Sales Reps Use Strip Clubs, Kickbacks and Trips to Shooting Ranges to Drive Prescriptions Up Subsys was approved in 2012 and approached sales of $500 million just three years later. This dramatic rise in sales was not happenstance but a carefully orchestrated marketing ploy for a highly addictive drug. In May 2015, the U.S. Department of Justice (DOJ) announced it was intervening in the five whistleblower lawsuits, which accuse Insys of paying illegal kickbacks and defrauding federal health programs in the marketing of Subsys. According to a DOJ press release:3 "The government's complaint alleges that Insys paid kickbacks to induce physicians and nurse practitioners to prescribe Subsys for their patients. Many of these kickbacks allegedly took the form of sham speaker fees to physicians, jobs for the prescribers' relatives and friends, and lavish meals and entertainment. The United States also alleges that Insys improperly encouraged physicians to prescribe Subsys for patients who did not have cancer, and that Insys employees lied to insurers about patients' diagnoses in order to obtain reimbursement for Subsys prescriptions that had been written for Medicare and TRICARE beneficiaries." The complaint further reveals some of the tactics Subsys used to get doctors to write more prescriptions. Among them was a pain specialist from Florida who was taken to a strip club and a shooting range by Insys executives. Medicare has paid more than $3 million for Subsys prescriptions from this one doctor, since 2012. In another case, sales reps offered another Florida pain specialist a full-time job for his girlfriend, if he could increase his prescriptions of Subsys. He wrote prescriptions for 60 units over the course of just two days, and his girlfriend received the job a month or two later. Many doctors were lavished with fancy dinners and speaker fees, but other even more blatant sales tactics also took place, from telling sales reps to "behave more sexually" and flirt with doctors to reports of sexual relations. According to Mother Jones, "Insys hired a dental hygienist with no pharmaceutical sales experience, reportedly 'to have sexual relations with doctors in exchange for SUBSYS prescriptions,' … a regional sales manager reported that the new employee was 'dumb as rocks, but that she was sleeping with another doctor and getting a lot of prescriptions out of him.'"4 Meanwhile, the drug was only supposed to be used for cancer patients, Insys sales reps frequently promoted the drug for off-label uses to doctors without cancer patients, for treating chronic pain ranging from back pain to headaches. In fact, up to 90 percent of Subsys prescriptions are for off-label uses. Insys also created the Insys Reimbursement Center to help get insurance companies to cover the prescriptions, which would cost $10,000 for a 30-day supply. Because insurance companies often required doctors to confirm that patients met the prescribing criteria, Insys employees would claim to be doctors' staff or even falsify patient diagnoses. In the interim, while the insurance companies decided whether or not to cover the prescription, Insys provided the drug free of charge to some patients, which was not done for benevolent reasons, as you may suspect. Mother Jones continued:5 "In the short term, the tactic was expensive for Insys … But in the long term, it paid off: Authorization was much more likely after Insys could tell insurers that the patient was already taking the drug. And by that time, the patient was likely already addicted. As M.S.’s complaint put it, ‘the patient would grow dependent on the medication during that time, ensuring a long prescribing relationship.'" Doctors Take Industry-Sponsored Opioid Training for Continuing Education The FDA requires opioid manufacturers to fund continuing medical education (CME) courses about opioids, which doctors take under the guise of education. Since 2013, more than 500,000 doctors have taken part in such programs, which are often required by the state and affiliated with credible institutions like Johns Hopkins University and the American Society of Addiction Medicine. Yet, the courses are backed by opioid makers like Purdue Pharma, Pfizer and Janssen.6 Many doctors are not aware that the courses are funded by the industry, and they give the impression that as long as doctors conduct risk assessments and pain agreements that patients will not be harmed. Meanwhile, some promote questionable practices like switching patients from one opioid to another to avoid tolerance, a tactic that has little evidence of efficacy behind it. Teachers for the courses may also have their own ties to industry. A Mother Jones investigation found, for instance, seven faculty listed as teachers for FDA-mandated CME courses had received $1.6 million from opioid makers between 2013 and 2016.7 In some of the courses, the slant is decidedly in favor of opioids, with some even claiming that illicit opioids are responsible for most overdose deaths when, in reality, overprescribing of prescription opioids is largely responsible. As Mother Jones put it, "For opioid-makers, CME 'is one of the most important marketing [tactics] that they have,' says Dr. Adriane Fugh-Berman, a Georgetown pharmacology professor who studies industry influence on medicine. 'It doesn't look like advertising. It doesn't look like promotion. It looks like education, and it's required for most physicians.'"8 Knowing the Damage, Maximizing Profits — Premeditated Murder Prior to the opioid epidemic, opioids were low-cost and widely available, but carried a reputation for being additive, so many doctors avoided them. The game-changer occurred in 1995, when Purdue Pharma received FDA approval for extended-release oxycodone (Oxycontin) for the management of moderate to severe pain. Not only could the drug be patented, making it far more profitable than the many generic opioids available on the market, but it was also promoted as being nonaddictive and safe for long-term use, unlike other opioids on the market. To get this message across, Purdue Pharma launched an extensive marketing blitz surrounding the drug, including doubling its marketing team and paying $40 million in bonuses, offering free initial supply coupons to patients, and hosting "all-expenses-paid pain management and speaker training conferences at lavish resorts" for clinicians. The drug became a blockbuster, in large part due to nonrigorous patenting standards and lack of policing of fraudulent marketing.9 Unfortunately, the idea that extended-release Oxycontin, which didn't lead to the immediate high drug abusers were presumably looking for, was less addictive was not based on real evidence. And on the contrary, it may actually have been more appealing, New York Magazine reported:10 "Making a long-duration painkiller meant concentrating more narcotic into each individual pill. And since opioid addicts do not typically use pills as directed — but rather, crush them up for snorting or injecting — Purdue’s ‘innovative’ opioid was actually more appealing as a street drug than any of its rivals." Purdue Pharma claimed they were unaware that Oxycontin was being abused until the 2000s, but a Department of Justice report actually shows they knew the drug was popular with drug addicts in the late 1990s and concealed the information.11 Despite knowing that the drugs were being crushed, snorted and stolen from pharmacies, they continued to market the drug as less addictive or prone to abuse. DOJ prosecutors recommended that three Purdue Pharma executives be indicted on felony charges, which could have sent them to prison, but instead the case was settled. The Sackler family, owners of Purdue Pharma, were also reportedly sent reports about abuse of OxyContin and another opioid, MS Contin, according to a New York Times report.12 The Sacklers made it onto Forbes' Top 20 billionaires list in 201513 — in large part due to the burgeoning sales of OxyContin. About 80 percent of heroin drug addicts report starting out on painkillers such as OxyContin.14 In 2007, Purdue Pharma pleaded guilty to charges of misbranding "with intent to defraud and mislead the public" and paid $634 million in fines, which did little to dissuade them from continuing to profit off the deadly drugs. A potential part of the problem is the fact that no specific individuals have ever been charged. None of the members of the Sackler family was ever charged with any kind of misdeed, for example, and owners and corporate leaders of other drug companies have also walked away scot-free. The Sacklers are further unique in that they've been successful in largely separating their name from the deadly product that made them rich. Too Big to Nail Reforms for opioid prescribing have been proposed, including a guideline from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), which would restrict prescriptions of opioids to three-day supplies. The measures, however, have been largely opposed by the American Medical Association (AMA), which spent $21.5 million lobbying Congress in 2017. "Nearly $6.8 million has been spent in 2018 so far, according to OpenSecrets.com. It gave nearly $2 million to members of Congress in 2016 and has given $519,500 so far this election cycle," the Daily Beast reported.15 AMA has also opposed other restrictive measures for opioids, such as mandating courses about addiction for doctors or requiring them to check the Prescription Drug Monitoring Programs database prior to writing prescriptions. The database allows doctors to see a person’s prescription drug history, making it easier to spot the potential for abuse. Although many states require this, there is no federal requirement to do so. Sen. Joe Manchin (D-W.Va.) reportedly stated at a meeting to curb opioid abuse that his colleagues would continue to vote down such measures because they were “too scared to take on the AMA."16 Meanwhile, white collar drug dealers like Purdue Pharma are given barely a slap on the wrist for their instrumental role in the opioid epidemic. Even now, as U.S. prescriptions for Oxycontin have dropped close to 40 percent since 2010, they've turned their sights to international pursuits. In Europe and developing countries, Purdue Pharma is working to combat "opiophobia" in doctors, which is reportedly the mistaken belief that opioid painkillers are highly addictive and should be used sparingly.17 Try Other Options for Pain Relief First It's important to be aware of the money being made by opioid makers even as people are dying as a result. The motivation to sell more of these drugs is not one of altruism but greed. It's also been shown that opioids are not always necessary to treat moderate to severe pain, as ibuprofen and acetaminophen (which admittedly have their own set of risks) may work just as well.18 Pain relievers are clearly valuable medications in many instances, and even opioids have their place (such as for treating severe pain in end of life care), but do use caution, no matter which kind you take. And if you do use an opioid, be aware that there's a high risk for addiction and, with that, overdose death. If you suffer from chronic pain, there are other options for long-term relief. First, there's a good chance you need to tweak your diet to eliminate grains, sugars and most processed foods while increasing your intake of healthy fats, including animal-based omega-3s. In addition, nondrug remedies and bodywork interventions can often help with pain relief without posing the risks of opioid drugs. You may want to consider one or more of the following for safe pain relief: Medical cannabis Medical marijuana has a long history as a natural analgesic and is now legal in 29 states. You can learn more about the laws in your state on medicalmarijuana.procon.org.19 Kratom Kratom (Mitragyna speciose) is a plant remedy that has become a popular opioid substitute. In August 2016, the DEA issued a notice saying it was planning to ban kratom, listing it as Schedule 1 controlled substance. However, following massive outrage from kratom users who say opioids are their only alternative, the agency reversed its decision. Unfortunately, its legal status is still unstable, as the FDA is on a crusade to eliminate kratom. Kratom is safer than an opioid for someone in serious and chronic pain. However, it's important to recognize that it is a psychoactive substance and should be used with great care. There's very little research showing how to use it safely and effectively, and it may have a very different effect from one person to the next. The other issue to address is that there are a number of different strains available with different effects. Also, while it may be useful for weaning people off opioids, kratom is in itself addictive. So, while it appears to be a far safer alternative to opioids, it's still a powerful and potentially addictive substance. So please, do your own research before trying it. Low-Dose Naltrexone (LDN) Naltrexone is an opiate antagonist, originally developed in the early 1960s for the treatment of opioid addiction. When taken at very low doses (LDN, available only by prescription), it triggers endorphin production, which can boost your immune function and ease pain. Curcumin A primary therapeutic compound identified in the spice turmeric, curcumin has been shown in more than 50 clinical studies to have potent anti-inflammatory activity. Curcumin is hard to absorb, so best results are achieved with preparations designed to improve absorption. It is very safe and you can take two to three every hour if you need to. Astaxanthin One of the most effective oil-soluble antioxidants known, astaxanthin has very potent anti-inflammatory properties. Higher doses are typically required for pain relief, and you may need 8 milligrams or more per day to achieve results. Boswellia Also known as boswellin or "Indian frankincense," this herb contains powerful anti-inflammatory properties, which have been prized for thousands of years. This is one of my personal favorites, as it worked well for many of my former rheumatoid arthritis patients. Bromelain This protein-digesting enzyme, found in pineapples, is a natural anti-inflammatory. It can be taken in supplement form, but eating fresh pineapple may also be helpful. Keep in mind most of the bromelain is found within the core of the pineapple, so consider eating some of the pulpy core when you consume the fruit. Cayenne cream Also called capsaicin cream, this spice comes from dried hot peppers. It alleviates pain by depleting your body's supply of substance P, a chemical component of nerve cells that transmit pain signals to your brain. Cetyl myristoleate (CMO) This oil, found in dairy butter and fish, acts as a joint lubricant and anti-inflammatory. I have used a topical preparation of CMO to relieve ganglion cysts and a mild case of carpal tunnel syndrome. Evening primrose, black currant and borage oils These oils contain the fatty acid gamma-linolenic acid, which is useful for treating arthritic pain. Ginger This herb is anti-inflammatory and offers pain relief and stomach-settling properties. Fresh ginger works well steeped in boiling water as a tea, or incorporated into fresh vegetable juice.

[yahoo-roto-arcade-blog]

Fantasy Football Booms/Busts 2018: The New York Jets

As the mercury rises and we inch closer to the open of training camps, our resident fantasy football sickos, Brad Evans and Liz Loza, will profile their favorite booms/busts of every NFL team. Today’s topic: The New York Jets. 

The Jets are, undoubtedly, in a rebuilding phase. So which young player has the most BOOM (return on investment) potential this fall?

Brad – TERRELLE PRYOR. No matter how bizarre the plot lines are in “Westworld,” I simply can’t quit the show. The same applies to Pryor.

My abominable failure of a man-crush from 2017 is looking to bounce back after his horrendous stint with Washington. Only a year removed from a 1,000-yard campaign with Cleveland, I like his chances of profiting for fantasy purposes. Unlike his time with the ‘Skins, it’s reasonable to think he’ll be properly utilized in New York and entice far more than the 13.9 percent target share he saw last season.

Though Robby Anderson should reclaim his status at the Jets’ top option and with Quincy Enunwa in the mix, Pryor (202.3 ADP, WR81) has respectable odds of duplicating or exceeding what Jermaine Kearse achieved in green last year (102-65-810-5, WR41), assuming he locks down a starting role in training camp.

[Yahoo Fantasy Football leagues are open: Sign up now for free]

Liz – QUINCY ENUNWA. The neck injury is an obvious red flag, but he’s making progress and is expected to participate in OTAs. The Jets need him. Full stop. Emerging in 2016 (with a 34-year-old Ryan Fitzpatrick under center), Enunwa managed a 58-857-4 stat line. While those numbers don’t wow (WR40), he did flash after the catch (365 yards) and converted 80 percent of contested catches.

With Austin Seferian-Jenkins in Jacksonville, Robby Anderson facing a potential suspension, and Terrell Pryor learning another playbook, Enunwa remains New York’s most seasoned and solid pass-catching option. A WR/TE hybrid, the Nebraska product brings size and physicality to the slot. He could also work as a security blanket for a young and developing quarterback… which is particularly beneficial this year.

On the flipside, which player should owners avoid like a vat of homecrafted Fireball? 

Liz – ROBBY ANDERSON. Looking like a young Chad Ochocinco, Anderson was a target hog in 2017, averaging over 7 looks per game. A top-fifteen fantasy wideout, the Temple alum was one of the league’s most surprising breakouts. But his production waned significantly without Josh McCown at the helm.

Obviously, Sam Darnold is a better prospect than Bryce Petty, but Anderson is a player who clearly needs direction. With question marks at the QB position, facing possible disciplinary action, and given the addition of Terrell Pryor it’s unlikely Anderson will be given the same number of opportunities in 2018.

Brad – ISAIAH CROWELL. Matt Forte may be sipping umbrella drinks somewhere in the Caribbean, but Crowell isn’t likely to suddenly morph into a reliable RB2 taking over as New York’s primary early-down RB. His 1.55 yards created per carry tallied last season with Cleveland certainly stood out, but he finished outside the position’s top-20 in yards after contact per attempt (2.6) and total evaded tackles. Most appalling, his 0.57 fantasy points per opportunity didn’t even crack the RB top-100.

With Bilal Powell and Elijah McGuire also involved, the Jets’ offensive line, which ranked No. 31 in power run-blocking last season, in question and realizing the strong probability Sam Darnold will start the majority of the season, Crowell is a sleep-inducing pick in the middle rounds (102.4 ADP, RB39). Targeting Powell, especially in PPR, nearly 40 picks later (148.7 ADP) is far more sensible.

With SCOTUS plunging a dagger in PASPA let’s start a line on Sam Darnold’s rookie outing. OVER/UNDER 5.5 starts for the greenhorn QB? 

Brad – OVER. HAMMER! Josh McCown predates the combustible engine. Meanwhile, Teddy Bridgewater, despite his remarkable recovery, is combustible and a complete wildcard. What does that mean? Darnold, barring a face plant in training camp or the Preseason, will start Week 1 in Detroit. Bank on it.

Overall, Darnold should only be selected in 2QB, dynasty or very deep re-drafts. He does possess the size, arm strength and touch needed to develop into a quality passer, but he tended to force intermediate throws into tight spaces last season with the Trojans, a gunslinger mentality which led to occasional turnover problems. That carries over and his growing pains will throb.

Among this year’s first-year options Baker Mayfield or, for those that find multidimensionality irresistible, Lamar Jackson, are more worthy of a roster spot.

Liz – OVER. The Jets current starting QB happens to be a vet who has gushed about mentoring greenhorn signal callers, and is astutely plotting his next career move to a coaching position. Turning 39-years-old this July, there’s no way McCown stays healthy for an entire 16-week season. In fact, he’s only managed two 13-game seasons in his 15-year career (2004, 2017).

There’s no longer a need for him to gut through a cascade of injuries. Once he gets dinged enough, he can heroically transition to teacher-mode, while helping Darnold work through his “elongated release.” That all happens well before Turkey Day, ensuring plenty of Darnold jerseys are purchased in time for the Holidays.

Bring the blitz on Twitter. Follow Brad (@YahooNoise) and Liz (@LizLoza_FF).

[junker-town]

Jameis Winston is the NFL’s most risk-reward free agent

Jameis Winston became a free agent for the first time in his career in 2020.

Jameis Winston is an occasionally stellar quarterback. And, much more often, entirely frustrating.

The 2020 free agent market has been picked over. Players like Tom Brady, Philip Rivers, and Marcus Mariota all changed locations. Teams in need of veteran quarterback help have, for the most part, either found their new starters or made their intentions clear about turning to the draft for help.

But there’s one man out there who could still be the solution to some team’s problems. Or possibly the catalyst that blows everything up.

Jameis Winston forged an uneven path through his five-year NFL career. He’s shown the chops to will his team to comeback victories in wildfire shootouts, or blow a hole in his own boat with awful decisions. Winston has long persisted as the NFL’s Hellraiser puzzle box. If you can figure out how to unlock him, you’re in for a world of delight. As he showed the Buccaneers time and time again, those pleasures are mostly reserved for sadists.

Over the course of 72 NFL games, Winston has thrown 88 interceptions and fumbled 50 times. He’s won more than seven games as a starter only once in five seasons. He’s never been to the playoffs.

He’s also the same quarterback who’s thrown for at least three touchdowns in more than 21 percent of his starts (15 of 70). He’s recorded a single-game passer rating of 103 or better 27 times. He led the Buccaneers to 11 game-winning drives since 2015 — more than Tom Brady, Philip Rivers, or Ben Roethlisberger in the same span.

That’s a lot of variance! So what can the NFL expect from a player who wears his flaws on the outside but may still have potential yet as a franchise quarterback?

The case for: Jameis Winston, high-impact passer in a spread offense

There’s a reason Winston was the top pick in 2015 and why Tampa decided to roll with him rather than re-sign Ryan Fitzpatrick following the 2018 season. At his best, Winston is a fearless passer capable of fitting the ball into tight windows thanks to one of the league’s strongest arms. He’s finished either first or second in average throw distance in four of his five seasons. Despite this increased degree of difficulty, he’s still completed more than 61 percent of his passes.

While his 2019 was more notable for his exclusive entry into the 30-touchdown, 30-interception club, he also threw more deep passes (20+) yards than anyone in the league and completed more than 37 percent of them (38 of 102). Aaron Rodgers, who finished second in that category, completed only 28 of his 88 deep balls (31.8 percent).

Sure, Winston’s prowess was helped by the receiving tandem of Mike Evans and Chris Godwin. He was also hampered by Tampa’s abject lack of a running game, which meant Evans, Godwin, and everyone else were stuck running through a crowded secondary that didn’t have to worry about the Buccaneers’ run game.

There’s a lot of value in a quarterback capable of throwing deep against defenses who expect it, especially in a league that trends more toward college-style spread offenses each year. If you’re looking for a player who can stretch defenses vertically at an almost-reckless rate (more on that later), you could do much worse than Winston — he’s focused on creating big plays.

He’s also sturdy near the goal line. His interception rate inside the red zone was a scant 1.4 percent and helped contribute to a 99.0 passer rating inside an opponent’s 20-yard line. He had a 76.0 passer rating and a 5.2 percent INT rate anywhere else on the field.

There’s even a silver lining to his recent struggles as well. A quarterback only gets to 30 interceptions if he’s got a certain green light from his head coach. Winston absolutely got that from Bruce Arians; in 2019, he threw for an NFL-high 5,109 yards while averaging 8.2 yards per attempt. There was enough in his play that convinced Arians to accept the bad as a package deal with his good.

Those are impressive numbers in a vacuum. That’s what makes Winston an intriguing high-risk quarterback. But it’s been impossible to separate Winston from his defects.

The case for: Jameis Winston, annual NFL interception leader

We know all about the turnovers at this point. Some can be explained.

There are a few instances where Winston’s interception issues aren’t his fault. Maybe he’s the victim of a tip-drill pick. Maybe he throws up a desperation heave downfield on third-and-long while trailing late in a game. Maybe O.J. Howard drops a pass so thoroughly all a linebacker has to do is scoop it off the tight end’s back.

These moments are all understandable ... and they’re a minority among Winston’s lowlight reel.

The cantilever to his penchant for big plays is a single-track mind that always defaults back to a target he had settled on already. There are times when Winston drops back in a clean pocket, stares down one wideout for three seconds, then throws into double-coverage anyway.

Sometimes his brain and arm don’t quite align and he throws the ball directly to a player wearing the wrong jersey. Behold, a rookie mistake from a fifth-year quarterback:

A little pressure can force Winston into bad decisions, but he makes the correct read in interception to Richard Sherman above. He just flubs this pass so badly an out-of-position Sherman barely has to move to bring home an easy touchdown. And, somehow, it wasn’t even the most cringe-inducing pick-six of that game:

Good lord.

What’s worse is how many of these miscues were so immediately damaging. While he was solid in the red zone, his decision-making broke down deep in his own territory. Seven of Winston’s 2019 interceptions were pick-sixes. Five of those were returned only 32 yards or fewer to the end zone.

This is what you sign up for when you lock into the Jameis Winston experience. His confidence in his arm gives him the freedom to make monster throws, but it also gets him into trouble.

There’s no official stat for it, but I’m sure no player in the league throws more passes off his back foot in hopes of muscling a ball into tight windows than Winston. Even when he appears to understand the coverage he’s facing decides “f—- it” and launches the ball anyway.

These are all correctable mistakes, but five years and three head coaches couldn’t fix them in Tampa. The Buccaneers hoped pairing Winston with a head coach known for reviving veteran quarterbacks would help him realize his potential. Arians did that — it’s just that Winston’s potential was as the NFL’s first-ever 30-30 season.

The case for: why not both?

Winston is a big mess of a quarterback, and we haven’t even gotten into his off-field issues (of which there are many). At his peak, he’s able to move the ball downfield with an explosiveness few quarterbacks can match. In his valleys, he’s a mistake-prone pick-six machine who tries to do too much and winds up digging his own grace. There’s value in him because he’s a dynamic deep-range quarterback, but he sabotages his own play by throwing deep too often and in bad situations.

Would a lesser receiving corps force him out of his bad habits because he knows he can’t blindly trust they’ll bail him out? Maybe — but if a 30-interception season wasn’t the wake-up call he needed to make adjustments and change his approach, there’s a chance nothing is.

Still, the most likely scenario is that Winston remains a quarterback who lives on the extremes. Winston’s happy place would pair him with a top-flight receiving corps and an offensive line talented enough to withstand blitzes and keep him from panicking in the pocket. Get him that and buttress him with an overachieving defense, and he could exceed the standard set in Tampa.

[junker-town]

Patriots’ defense is making a midseason turnaround. Here’s how they’re doing it.

After a horrible start, New England has allowed just 20 points its last two games.

After a tough start to 2017, the New England Patriots are 6-2. More importantly, their performance on Sunday proved they can win a game even when their offense isn’t operating in high gear.

Tom Brady threw for more than 300 yards, but the Patriots only found the end zone once in a 21-13 victory over the Chargers. Despite several trips into Los Angeles territory, New England struggled to finish drives, putting pressure on an embattled defensive unit to keep a dangerous opponent at bay.

And for the second straight week, the defense responded.

While Los Angeles gained an efficient 6.7 yards per play, the Patriots ability to drive Philip Rivers and his team backward in important situations ultimately prevented an upset on Foxborough. With a few notable exceptions (Melvin Gordon’s 87-yard touchdown run first and foremost among them), the New England defense kept the Chargers from gaining any kind of rhythm or identity on the offensive side of the ball, leading to five straight punts in the middle of the game and helping take some drama out of an otherwise stressful season.

So what’s been the key behind this mini revival?

Even without Malcom Brown, the Patriots’ front seven brought enough pressure to make Philip Rivers uncomfortable

Brown, arguably the most talented member of the New England defensive front, missed Sunday’s game with an ankle injury. While his absence was felt in the running game, where Melvin Gordon ran for 132 yards on 14 carries, the defensive line came together as a group to harass Philip Rivers all afternoon.

Rivers only took one sack — on an awkward fumble of his own design -- but dealt with pressure throughout the game as the Patriots dialed up a blitz-heavy defense in the second half. The Chargers, forced to throw the ball thanks to a two-possession deficit, often saw their veteran quarterback’s windows shut down prematurely as his pocket shrunk. Though New England was only credited with two QB hits, they created more pressure in Week 8 than it had earlier in the season.

Credit the continuing development of Trey Flowers and Deatrich Wise Jr. for that. The two young linemen are the two most important pieces of the Patriot pass rush, crumpling the pocket from the edges (though Wise also has the strength to work inside) and forcing opposing quarterbacks to step up.

If Brown and players like Alan Branch and Adam Butler can step up in coming weeks, that group has the talent to make any opposing quarterback uncomfortable in Foxborough.

Super subs Johnson Bademosi and Jonathan Jones have paired with a resurgent Malcolm Butler to steady the secondary

The Patriots were supposed to fall apart without starting cornerbacks Stephon Gilmore and Eric Rowe. Instead, a bad secondary has improved significantly thanks to the presence of one All-Pro corner and a pair of reserves who aren’t playing like second-stringers. Bademosi has been the primary beneficiary of the snaps Gilmore left behind. He’s performed admirably as New England, a team that had allowed 300+ pass yards in each of its first six games, has limited two Pro Bowl passers to just 445 yards in its last two games.

Jones hasn’t been as impressive, but his ability to recover back to the ball and make big plays has mitigated the risks he takes in coverage. While he’s not a No. 1 corner, he’s proven to be a reliable nickel option who can get to the ball in a hurry.

The team has played better without Gilmore and Rowe in the lineup, but it’s tough to reconcile the absence of two above-average starters with a better performance. In fact, the biggest part of New England’s revival has been a return to form from Butler, who along with Devin McCourty, has cut out the damning mistakes that were the preface to underwhelming performances the first six weeks of the season.

With those two — and the mercurial Patrick Chung — both regressing back to the mean, the presence of any league-average replacements would still generate a significant turnaround after New England’s dreadful start.

The true test of Gilmore’s mettle will come when he returns. The Patriots’ haven’t quite generated the performance they’d hoped for after giving Gilmore a massive contract to take over as the team’s top corner (assuming Bill Belichick was intent on trading Butler at that point). Gilmore will join a better unit when he returns, presumably after the bye week. He’ll have to prove he can be the key that takes New England’s defensive backs from “above average” to “great.”

Kyle Van Noy is playing well in Dont’a Hightower’s absence

With Hightower out for the rest of the season thanks to a torn pectoral muscle, Van Noy has been given the keys as the team’s defensive play caller. The former Lion has come up big in recent weeks — most notably stopping Taylor Gabriel on the Falcons’ ill-fated, fourth-and-goal.

He currently leads the team in tackles for loss; his 3.5 sacks this season have already eclipsed his previous career total.

Van Noy’s versatility is a tremendous asset for defensive coordinator Matt Patricia. The Patriots used Hightower like a Swiss Army knife, asking him to handle everything from typically inside linebacker run-stuffing duties to coming off the edge as a pass rusher. His ability to adapt gave the rest of the New England defense the flexibility to be adventurous.

Van Noy isn’t the same kind of singular talent that Hightower is, but he’s showing off the kind of skill that made him the 40th overall pick of the 2014 NFL Draft. On Sunday, he was bolstered by Elandon Roberts, a 2016 sixth-round pick who showed flashes of talent as a rookie and overcame an underwhelming preseason to cement his place in the lineup. Together, the pair combined for 11 solo tackles against Los Angeles.

Van Noy isn’t the only low-cost acquisition to step up. David Harris didn’t record a tackle Sunday, but his jailbreak blitz, bowling over Melvin Gordon in the process, was what flushed Rivers from the pocket prior to his self-induced fumble. Carrius Marsh continues to be a long-armed disruptor in platoon situations. While they don’t have massive roles, they provide the necessary depth New England needs to roll through a demanding 16 game schedule.

The Patriots needed their defense to step up for games in which Tom Brady is merely “great”

That improved defense will be paramount to the team’s Super Bowl title defense — especially if the offense struggles the way it did Sunday.

The Patriots had no problem pushing the ball into scoring position, but came away with just 19 offensive points on 10 drives that got to the NE 44-yard-line or deeper. Brady and Rob Gronkowski struggled to connect at times — Gronk caught just five of his nine targets on the day — and Brady got caught trying to force deep balls into coverage on multiple occasions. Brandin Cooks, who had averaged nearly 20 yards per reception with Brady, was limited to 26 yards on five catches. The team may also be without Chris Hogan for a spell after the deep-threat left Sunday’s game with an apparent arm/shoulder injury.

Despite all that, the Patriots still scored 21 points and would have had 27 with a perfect Stephen Gostkowski. There’s no need to worry about the New England offense — the four-headed running back attack of Dion Lewis, James White, Rex Burkhead, and Mike Gillislee showed up Sunday to remind everyone the myriad ways the Pats can beat you — but it’s not unreasonable to think Brady would keep up his record-setting pace throughout his age 40 season.

That big arm was the only thing that carried New England to wins over New Orleans and Houston and kept the team in the hunt against Carolina. Now, with a revived defense trending back upward, the Patriots can win games in which Brady is just good rather than legendary. That’s the kind of power that makes this team a Super Bowl favorite at the 2017 midway point.