#he doesn't know how to human XD

[angelictragedy]

Get In Human, You're Being Moved ||@brokeassgoing||

Nai had thought he'd made plenty of noise clambering into the home. He'd just gotten the news of the home, walked around and given the big puppy dog eyes to Legato for one of the spare rooms being used by Badou. He couldn't just leave his silly human to live with gods knows what or who.

He needed to keep the idiot safe!

The moment he had confirmation he wasted no time when his love went to work to find the human. Age old trauma had him thinking his pet, but Badou never had been a pet. Sure, he had to protect him a lot and care for him when he was in danger, risking his own skin. Or carried cigarettes for the man as an instinctive thing to offer, but he wanted to confide in the man, to reach out to him when he wanted to socialize. A novel concept, but Astarion was helping him to understand the need for more than just his precious human.

Which led them all to now, him in Badou's room, standing over his bed and staring unblinkingly as he slept, impatiently waiting for him to wake up. He thought he'd been loud, but century old instincts kept him quiet as a mouse.

Don't wake him up, that would be rude. He had to remind himself to be patient, even as wings slowly fluffed up in mild irritation.

He opts for his backup plan, pulling out a can, holding it near the man and cracked open the fizzy beverage near his head, hoping the sound and smell of sweetness would do the trick.

[marcusrobertobaq]

If there's something both fathersonners and hankconnies suck at is keeping Hank's "assholeness" and sarcastic jokes.

Dude is the type mf that would joke bout Connor dating other androids, esp girls, and start talking how all this shit's just a big pain in the ass and how it's better if Connor keep far from humans in this sense 😂 (cuz Connor looks so fucked up he gonna scare mfs)

C'mon, man. Dude jokes bout Connor going to the Eden Club just to see some pretty boys and girls. Connor literally jokes bout mf's interest in machines finally making him being "useful" to the investigation and straight up call mf a dude without life purpose. When they diverge in opinions is even better.

Shippers just ruin 'em dynamic in a way I get surprised how the fucking hell they like a "fanon" so boring. I won't even comment bout fathersonners...

Mfs got the power of ruining one of the best aspects of 'em dynamic (this exchange in sarcasm and questionable jokes - and ofc the swearing) just to put Hank in a good light and get Connor in a toddler's place. This "blorbo" thing, keep it away from me.

I already gotta put up with the game's narrative never punishing Hank for anything and Connor always taking the bad shit for himself and the game punishing u for being real (cuz he's an android), mfs keep saying they're the best part of dbh and the first thing they do is removing the only interesting part of 'em shit just for some stupid romantical interest that basically doesn't fucking exist in canon with everything becoming a uwu or a father/son role selection that is a slap in Hank's almost inexistent character development face, turning him into everything he had always criticized instead of exploring his already existent ideals and trauma, expanding it. Cuz, man, this son of a bitch got lotta shit to learn and Connor bites - dude ain't yo silly lil uwu twink boy. U say shit like that I already know u think he's a "android detective". Yeah, my dick inside your ass.

[coollyinterferes]

Today, I offer you...

🌟 he 🌟

[nataliedecorsair]

I wanted to give you some of Pticenoga's Borderlands AU backstory, how she was raised by Shade and before starting her shenanigans with Vaughn.

Plus a bonus comic about how she decided to set up a meeting for Vaughn and Shade, but didn't tell Vaughn who is supposed to be there x) Mostly because Vaughn has met Shade before in his macabre World of Curiosities museum and thought that Shade is too weird for him. Well, that's the kind of person that would raise a feral harpy siren, gotta deal with it!

When she was very young, nothing bothered her much as she was just a wild baby exploring the world x) And Shade was a good father figure to her. However, as she grew older, she realized that she doesn't really "fit in": yeah, Pandora is a crazy planet, but not every person there is crazy. There are plenty of "regular folk" like Shade or other people from their town - and many others. And she was frequently called a monster, a mutant and many other things by the regular kids and even adults. She was wild though, could bite them or fight with them in a pretty feral manner, and, even though she protected herself, it didn't help the situation much. She wasn't crazy enough (and too small) to fit in with the psychos or bandits, was "too human" for actual monsters living on Pandora, and for a long time she had no idea she was a Siren, as even for Sirens she looked too different. Only when she hit her teens, she was able to confirm that she is one, started using her powers, and in her human form she could see the full extension of the glowing pattern she had on her skin. She still, however, didn't know why she wasn't born "normal", and there were no older Sirens around.

At some point, she decided to become independent and live on her own. Her "wild" upbringing was helping that a lot, and she felt fine being away from people. She'd still visit Shade frequently, of course, and at some point she'd even met Zer0 and could hang out with him for some time. As Zer0 is a mystery himself, they had some common ground between them (though constantly listening to his haiku were exhausting xD). Sadly, Vault Hunters attract attention, not always positive, and that was the reason why she got spotted by a big bandit gang (could be the beginning of Vallory's gang, but before she took over). And local scientists like Tannis already declared that there may be some connection between Sirens and the Vaults. And they noticed that she's a Siren, but also pretty young (and dumb). After the first Vault on Pandora was opened, there was plenty of weird and valuable stuff around, but it wasn't so easy to get it when you're just regular bandits. And when Eridians, the aliens that are guarding the Vault, are everywhere. The Sirens like Lilith were too strong for them, and hiring a Vault Hunter is expensive, so they decided to wriggle into her favor and use her to gain access to the area. She didn't know she was dealing with bandits first, she naively thought it's a rare case of nice fellows just wanting to be friends and such, plus the Vault could have answers about her origin, and the new "friends" confirmed it.

At some point, she realized she was being used, and got into a fight with the bandits - and lost, as there were too many of them, and she had too little experience, and they knew about Shade. She got kidnapped and told that she'd do everything they told her to do, or they'd kill Shade, so she had to obey. She helped them to fight the way to the Vault and get some of the riches, and during the process she felt that she really does have a connection with Eridians - they boosted her powers and helped her to get free, and kill every presenting member of the gang. She was worried about Shade though, so she left immediately to find him before the remaining members found out what happened and could harm him. But she was too late - the water source in their town of Oasis was poisoned, and every single person there died. Except Shade though - he lasted longer, but dehydration made him insane, and he turned corpses into the stuffed dummies he could talk to (though she didn't have much of a problem with this part). As she was gone for at least several months, he didn't believe she's real, and she had to adapt to the new reality.

She never got back to the Vault after that as she felt it was a source of more trouble than anything good (in her view, the price was too much for a bunch of physical stuff).

That lasted for years, and became a bit easier as her powers, enhanced by the Eridians, wasn't only serving the destruction,  but could eventually "heal" some part of Shade's mind, so the moments of clarity became more frequent (she didn't know it's the reason, though). And you still need money, whether you like it or not, so, when Shade decided to use his World of Curiosities as a spot of illegal deals and smuggling, she didn't resist, but would watch over him in the shadows in case something goes wrong.

Eventually, she calmed down and just embraced herself. And, after some time, she met Vaughn, whose personal struggles she could sense right away, as she had to experience "being different" herself.

[tsukii0002]

Imagine Solomon and Mc doing magic stuff in the demon lords castle and Solomon turns mc into a rat on accident, how do you think Barbatos will react and what he would do after he learns it's Mc from Solomon 👀

This is pure gold, I love it.

Well, Solomon decided to make a beverage, as usual and Mc, decided that who is afraid to die should not be born and played the guinea pig, as usual. All this had taken place in the demon lord castle, because what could go wrong? But as expected, it went wrong, and an explosion of smoke covered the room.

Solomon ?: “Mc? are you okay???”

Mc ?: “?? Solomon?”

Suddenly there is a high-pitched squeal of surprise, two little rats stare at each other with wild eyes.

Rat Solomon: "Don't panic Mc, I will find the solution, besides we are in the palace nothing will happen to us, being a rat is not that bad"

Rat Mc: "That's the problem Solomon!!, we're in the palace, do you know what that means?"

Rat Solomon: "Wh-"

The door suddenly opens and they both turn their heads to meet the demon that shall not be named.

Barbatos: *pale as milk*

Rat Mc: *making little gestures trying to explain their situation*

Rat Solomon: *laughing rat noises*

Barbatos: *slowly raising a broom*

Rat Mc: … “Solomon”

Rat Solomon: *still laughing* "What?"

Rat Mc: “I think we should run.”

Rat Solomon: “Wa- Why?”

Barbatos: *most terrifying look they've ever seen*

Rat Solomon and Rat Mc: AHHHHHH!!!!

For an interminable time Mc and Solomon were running away from Barbatos, who was torn between fainting in terror or setting the palace on fire. Mc realized they had reached the kitchen and separated from Solomon.

Rat Solomon: “Mc noooo, don't leave me alone!”

Barbatos: Your end has come vile creature.

Crak

Rat Solomon: !

Barbatos: ! *turning to see what had happened*

Rat Mc: *gesturing to get the demon's attention*

Barbatos: *grim look* You *approaching with broom in hand* What-?

Barbatos sees a message written in salt on the counter, where Mc had broken the canister.

Barbatos: An experiment went wrong and we became this, we are Mc and Solomon…?

Rat Mc: *nodding vigorously fearing for their life*

Barbatos: Why… *paling some more* Why of all possible creatures?

Rat Mc: *apologetic chirp*

Rat Solomon: *climbing up next to Mc* “Well done Mc, for a moment there I thought you had betrayed me, he, he, he.”

Rat Mc: “This is no time for that!”

Barbatos: *with a look of total disgust he grabs Solomon tightly*

Rat Solomon: *shrieks* "I can't breathe!"

Barbatos: *holding out his hand gently but in cold sweats to Mc* You owe me a very big favor for all of this….

Chills run all over the demon's body as he looks at the two humans, he's about to get dizzy.

Barbatos: A very big one…

Later that day

Mc: Sorry, I'm so sorry Barbatos.

Barbatos: *grinning darkly* It doesn't matter Mc, just make sure you don't get so careless again.

Mc: *looking away* I won't.

Barbatos: I hope so or you'll end up like him.

Solomon, still being a rat, is stuck in a maze fighting for his life against a crab.

Barbatos: *grinning look* I hope that teaches him a lesson.

Mc: *swallowing saliva* Good luck Solomon.

.

.

This is the perfect opportunity for Barbatos to get “revenge” on Solomon without him being able to say anything to him xd.

If you've made it this far, thanks for reading <3

[married-to-google-translater]

Yandere Muzan Kibutsuji with pregnant reader

You had a very unnerving knack for successfully escaping Muzan's fortress.

Muzan really wouldn't know how you could do that.

You were just a human with no special skills.

However, you had already managed to escape five times after the abduction.

This would really stress him out XD

So since the normal ones don't work, it would be time for something different :D

Baby trap for sure.

Muzan would like to bind you to himself in some way.

It would also be much more difficult to escape with a baby.

Otherwise, he wouldn't really care about the child.

You would only find out later that you were pregnant.

Muzan doesn't really tell you that or give you any hints.

When you found out...well, it wouldn't be pretty.

Muzan would be gentler on you than gout during pregnancy.

He would also make sure you get all the energy you need.

Muzan probably wouldn't turn you into a demon.

He would still enjoy the fact that you are weaker than him.

[iidilio]

Omg! I just read your Uchiha boyfriends and how they deal with their SO's period and I loved it! Sasuke's is hilarious!

Have you seen the video of a guy's gf teaching him and walking him through tampons via a tampon and a glass of water? That's ALL I was imagining during Sasuke's...XD

So, since that would be hilarious, could I ask for headcanons with the Uchiha bfs with that in mind? Or if that's too little context, maybe the period cramp simulators with how far they go before dropping to the floor in pain/how they treat their SO after that? I love your writing, binging all you have on Tumblr rn❤️👏🏻💙💜

[ 🌸 ] Lmaaao nonnie thanks and love u for asking this 😂😂

characters: itachi uchiha, obito uchiha, madara uchiha, sasuke uchiha, shisui uchiha

genre: fluffy with a touch of comedy

warnings: none, mentions of intimate moments, mention of tampons, menstrual cups, vaginas you know things from month to month, menstrual simulators, pranks, adult men somewhat traumatized by their girlfriends

…

Also add menstrual cups to the mix because I'm in love with them :>

oh, i think this video is the one nonnie is talking about! (It was also the first one that appeared to me 😂) ⭐️

…

…

..

.

Itachi Uchiha

— Several things will happen at the same time.

— His mind will go blank as his face turns slightly pale.

— And his eyes will open a bit as he watches the cotton transform Sailor Moon-style.

— Except there are no sparkles and cute outfits.

— No.

— Not at all.

— There is an abominable thing the size of his entire hand floating in the water.

— Itachi won't look at you the same way, especially when you're in the bedroom during one of those intimate moments.

— Even though you already told him it was just a joke, the poor man will be worried.

— He'll look at your hole wondering if it's okay inside (I promise it's okay, Itachi 💀).

— For your own good and for his... don't show him menstrual cups.

— He now knows that the tampon doesn't deform when it's inside you.

— But you have to fold a cup to put it into your tight hole and when it's inside it just... puff returns to its original shape and... are you okay…?

— No, bad idea.

— Just no.

— Don't show it to him.

— As for the menstrual cramp simulators...

— Haha

— You like to see him suffer, don't you?

— Look, pretty woman.

— There's something called being human.

— Itachi, despite being a shinobi, is human (a very cute one, by the way).

— And Itachi, like any other human, feels every sensation he experiences throughout the day. Sometimes he feels more than you, he just doesn't show it due to his perfect control over his emotions.

— But all that control goes out the window when you turn up the power on the cramp simulator.

— He stays like this: "😨," but it's so subtle you don't know if you're imagining it. Meanwhile, the poor man feels his stomach contracting with pain until his breath catches a bit.

— Itachi is a shinobi, but that doesn't mean he doesn't feel pain.

— He's used to a different kind of pain, not this one, you know?

— Poor thing.

— He won't look at you the same way after this... probably not at any woman.

— He'll drink his "respect for women" before starting or ending the day.

— He also now has some fear of touching you; sometimes you won't feel his touch completely when you're on those days (you tried to touch him to see if he was okay and all because you saw he was a bit pale, and he looked like he wasn't breathing when the simulator was at its maximum power. Don't worry, the poor guy was just too sensitive from the pain and now he thinks you get like that too, haha).

— In general, he won't change much. Well, now he brings you more sweets whenever he can and also makes bigger portions of food.

— He's also grateful to you because you've now given him a new experience and opened his eyes to topics or situations that, as a man, he never would have thought about, haha.

…

Obito Uchiha

—If your vagina is a muscle and it stretches with a tampon, does that mean you're exercising internally? (I don't think that happens, but good shower thought, Obito!)

—Pretty boy

—At first, he's very excited when you told him you wanted to show him something.

—He's like a little kid when you want to show him something.

—Except now it looks like you just told him Santa isn't real while taking away his Christmas present.

—He'll say something like: “Wait, that thing gets like that when it's inside you 😦?” while looking at the glass in horror.

—Congratulations, girl, you traumatized an innocent man, lmao.

—No, but seriously.

—Obito will now be distrustful of tampons.

—He might calm down, but then he'll get alarmed when he watches videos or reads about “how to insert a tampon in ten easy steps without pain.”

—And he'll be traumatized again when he sees how far you have to insert the tampon.

—What do you mean the string hangs out..?

—And then you have to pull it out?! Doesn't that hurt?

—Oh, don't get me started on menstrual cups.

—Just no.

—Never show your man the cups.

—No.

—Please, no.

—Just don't.

—At least he was excited when you showed him the period cramps simulator.

—The guy smiled until you turned on the device and he was just like.

—He asked you what level it was on, and when you told him it was on eight, he just said: “What do you mean eight? How many levels does it have?”

—You swear he's going to start crying thinking about all the times he had to run an errand or was called by the Hokage and had to leave you.

—He'll apologize almost crying as you increase the level.

—You can ask him what he means, but I advise you not to.

—You'll make him cry like a baby while he clings to you and apologizes for leaving you alone so many times, making you suffer all this pain *dramatic music starts playing*.

—Lmao.

—Obito will feel proud of you for facing this kind of thing every month.

—He might now say something like: “That's it, babe, fight those cramps!” while you're curled up in bed trying not to cry from the pain.

—It's not out of bad intentions, he's just trying to cheer you up the best he can, haha.

…

Madara Uchiha

—He will stare at the glass intently and then at you.

—Please do not interrupt his thoughts.

—He is imagining how the whole process happens.

—“Are you telling me that piece of cotton…”, and he can no longer continue while looking at the floating cotton.

—Just like Itachi, he won’t look at your little hole the same way.

—He will stay thoughtful, wondering if it returns to its normal form every time.

—It might kill the moment.

—Lmao.

—He might also offer his help to put a tampon in you.

—Just tell him yes.

—You will make him feel like he’s doing something important.

—With menstrual cups… mmm.

—He will congratulate you… for some reason.

—It’s not a big achievement, Madara, but we appreciate your words.

—He will look at you a little worried and at the same time proud while you fold the cup to insert it in yourself and he just…

—“That’s my woman, you can do anything, darling.”

—Uhh… yes, well,

—We’re talking about a man who grew up in a time of war, and don’t get me wrong, it’s not like he doesn’t know where the clitoris is.

—He simply doesn’t know and has no idea that the vagina is elastic, xd.

—Please explain it to him before he brags to someone about how you can handle everything.

—As for the menstrual cramps simulator:

—He is a strong man.

—Who said it would hurt him?

—Clearly, they’re out of their minds, he is Madara Uchiha.

—At least that’s what he thinks before you turn on the device.

—And he’s simply like: “What do you mean this is how you feel every month?”

—Madara is not dumb or forgetful.

—He has seen your naked body when you’re on those days.

—And suddenly it makes sense why your belly looks slightly more swollen when you’re menstruating.

—For Madara, it hurts slightly or at least that’s what he wants to imply.

—Maybe he will never tell you it hurt, but that’s okay.

—At least he took this experience as a lesson to know what else to do and how to act during those days of the month.

—“Madara, darling… why are there many more pillows on the bed?” “They’re for you to be more comfortable.”

—Poor man.

—At least he’s trying!

…

Sasuke Uchiha

—His worst enemy has returned.

—The tampons *dramatic music plays*.

—Ok, no.

—Anyway.

—You're so cruel, girl.

—He swears he'll burn all the tampons in the world while looking at the abominable thing floating in the water.

—He's like...

—Do you put that thing inside and it enlarge…?

—On the outside, his face will remain moderately calm (I'm joking, he already looks disturbed), but on the inside, his face is like: “💀”.

—Even if you tell him it's a joke, he won't shake that image from his head.

—For a whole week, he thought your vagina was filled with tiny cotton residues for some reason.

—Until you explained that was impossible.

—(He still thinks that to this day). Anyway!

—Ehh, cups...! They're fun and comfortable things!

—Until you see them from a man's perspective and things change.

—No, please, no.

—He can't imagine a CUP inside you.

—Out of curiosity, he looked up menstrual cups on the internet and now swears he'd burn menstrual cups too if he could (cups can't hurt you, Sasuke).

—Anyway.

—As for the simulators...

—He might refuse at first until he starts thinking about how he could benefit from this (you know, new knowledge, more power).

—So he decides to put himself in his girl's shoes to see the whole picture.

—He began to regret it when you raised the intensity to seven.

—His face might turn pale when you explain that some menstrual cramps feel like labor pains.

—He'll stare at the highest intensity level wondering if he's ready for that.

—Spoiler: he wasn't.

—At least now he buys you more ice cream and makes you hot chocolate with marshmallows on top, even though he hates the smell of chocolate.

—He'll also start reading more about the female body, looking for ways and methods to make it hurt less.

—So it's likely he'll now regulate the amount of black foods and drinks you consume (you know: chocolate, coffee, cola, etc.), all because he read in a study that black-colored beverages and foods are a key factor in intensifying cramps during the period.

—Good luck with your boyfriend being more protective than ever ;)

…

Shisui Uchiha:

—"Do you want to show me something...? Sure! What is it?" he'll ask with the most innocent and soft voice, that you'll wonder if it's too cruel to play this prank on him.

—Poor guy.

—You do it anyway.

—Lmao, I think there's no emoji that describes the face he made in those moments.

—When he composes himself, he'll be torn between looking at you and the glass container.

—Because gosh.

—Does that thING really react like that when it's inside you?

—Before, he was fine with seeing you use them.

—He knows it's much more comfortable for you, but now that he sees it in the container...

—He doesn't know what to think.

—The guy is still terrified.

—Poor thing, his soul left his body and greeted God before returning to you.

—He might laugh a little when you tell him it's a joke while trying to act normal.

—But eventually his imagination will fly and he'll start thinking: "What if it gets stuck?" "What if the string breaks?" (It's impossible for that to happen, Shisui).

—Of course, he's a smart guy.

—He'll practically run to investigate more about tampons until his mind is at ease.

—But accidentally he saw menstrual cups and...

—"What do you mean cups are also inserted?" he half yelled into nothing.

—Oops.

—You'll have to explain.

—"Cups are friends, not enemies, Shisui..." "But what if it gets stuck?"

—You swear he's about to cry.

—Luckily!

—He'll get over it in a few days (it lasted a week and another while he tried to recap what happened, and the new information).

—The cramp simulator is great.

—It can last quite a while, you know, smiling and looking handsome as always, until you raise it to maximum power.

—You think you broke something when suddenly it falls and you think you killed it.

—Oh.

—Don't worry!

—He's just suffering and recapping how all of this happened, also about all the pain you go through month after month and... Oh, is that an angel...? (No, Shisui, it's your girlfriend trying to motivate you to get up).

—Well.

—At the end of the day he thinks the same as Itachi; you've shown him the other side of the coin and he's grateful for that.

—He'll also be much gentler with you during these days of the month.

—And for some reason, if he finds out that Sasuke is not in favor of tampons and cups, they may secretly start a group against those things or something similar, it's also possible that they'll drag Itachi by force.

—Lmao.

lmao, guess who search and watch videos about how to put tampons in her for the first time... and it didn't work 😭

[freddleafton12345-blog]

Nsfw thought about doing it with the fiercest warrior of the Echidna tribe (female reader!)

I firmly believe Knuckles will worship your entire being. Even the ground you walk on. He's definitely the type of man who will kiss every inch of your skin. Breasts, tummy, thighs, he wants you to know how much he cares for you.

Though the 1st few tries you guys had with sex were sort of awkward. You felt scared that he might go too rough and accidentally hurt you, so you made up an excuse as to why he couldn't claim you. He bought it.

Then it happened again. And again. And again.

Finally the poor thing asked if you feared becoming his mate. You felt bad for hurting his feelings so you told him the truth that you feared his strength.

"My love.." he began, gently taking your small hands in his. "No force on earth could ever make me even think of hurting you. You are a goddess sent from the heavens themselves. I will make sure you are worshipped, loved, and satisfied for as long as you want."

And that's all it took for you to feel more eager to go all the way

~~~~~

- he tends to focus on your pleasure. Not his own. However he would like to release as much of his seed as he can into you, so he KNOWS your truly his

- he's got tons, and I mean TONS of stamina. He can probably go for 10 rounds before he needs a break

- he's always asking "is this okay, my love?" "My dear, are you sure you want me to go faster/harder?" He wants to make sure you aren't hurt!

- bites. He claims his mark will let others know you're taken, and already claimed. Expect to wake up in the morning with hickeys everywhere on your body (Tom and Maddie didn't notice because you put on makeup to hide the marks, much to Knuckles dismay XD)

- he loves it when you scream his name and grab his quills as he eats you out. You're like the best feast he ever got to taste. Your screams let him know he's doing his most valuable mission, aka, pleasing you till you're satisfied. (Tho the 1st time you screamed in pleasure, he thought he hurt you and stopped immediately 😭)

- he doesn't know much about how humans have many different positions. He's usually got you in a mating press, or he's on his knees, eating you out. He'll be open to other positions if you bring it up. He wants to learn as much as he can so he can properly treat you like the queen you are!

- when you 1st sucked him off he was honestly baffled. You sure had guts to be the one who started engaging in such activities with the last member of the Echidna's. It turned him on, but he won't admit that XD

- he doesn't get super loud. He typically let's out soft grunts and growls, and his tail wags a bit when he's nearing his release

- I think he probably has struggled in the past with heat seasons/ruts, because he never had a mate in the tribe. So when he experiences these issues, he holds back unless you DEMAND he go all out with you

- he doesn't really care if you make expressions from the pleasure. If it's an indication he's making his queen feel good, then he's happy

- Knuckles is the master of aftercare. He gets you anything you want, and his fur is nice and soft. So yes, he's an excellent cuddle buddy!

- if you happen to have a small happy trail/hair down near your vagina, he doesn't care. He just thinks it makes you more intriguing

- if you're on the chubby side, great! Means you'll be the prime candidate for his aftercare snuggles!

- say you've even got stretch marks. He thinks they're interesting. If you're sensitive about them, he won't talk about it further, as to not upset you

- overall he's always focusing on what makes you feel good, because you're his beloved mate, who will soon become his queen♡

PLZ REBLOG IF U WANT!))

[gallusrostromegalus]

hi i see that you have much smart dog experience. i may have accidentally purchased such a dog. she's only 10 weeks, and ive had her 1, and she's already outmatched every puzzle feeder i got or have made. to the point that she is morosely disappointed when her food comes in an actual food bowl. do you know where i can find like. "heres 100 enrichment toys you can make out of free trash so your dog stops eating fucking rocks for enrichment" lists. i only have so many paper towel tubes XD

Herschel now just disassembles puzzle feeders, so I've been focusing on "Toys that, even if he already knows how to operate them, will still take TIME for him to collect the treat from" to give him something to fuss with.

Herschel eats all his meals out of a Kong Wobbler, because he will otherwise eat so fast he will literally inhale and choke on his kibble and I do not need him developing pneumonia from aspiration. Even though it's a "Simple" toy it slows him down and he does have to think a bit to tip it in the most efficient manner possible. Kong's "Flipz", "Gyro" and "Rewards Wally" are also really good "dog needs to think/carefully manipulate the toy for food" toys that act as both mental stimulation and exercise and "give human a break for up to twelve minutes" toys.

I highly reccomend KONG as a brand- they're local to Denver and have an impeccable saftey record and all of the toys I have gotten from them have held up extremely well vs. the ravages of three entirely too smart and strong-jawed dogs at once.

Some more thoughts:

If she's not prone to shredding rubber, the kind of treat toys she has to chew are also good stimulation.

If you don't want to give her That Many treats, my vet said that dogs can have as many green beans as they want. Just make sure that the beans haven't had salt added to them- canned usually does, but frozen green beans usually don't, but always check the label.

You can make nearly any toy last longer, or make a cheap long-puzzle by freezing the treats so they take longer to eat AND provides hydration. Herschel's most favorite treat of all time is literally a wad of sliced green beans in a dixie cup, filled with water and frozen. Just peel off the cup and hand him the chunk of ice and he's good for up to half an hour and more chill afterwards.

You can also freeze lick mats

If your girl is like Charlie and doesn't like greenbeans, you can also try freezing paper cups of: Canned pumpkin, apple slices in water, putting some ice cubes in the bottom of the cup, a gob of peanut butter in the middle and then fill it with water to make a peanutbutter filled ice cube.

If your girl is REALLY like charlie who has figured out how to use labor negotiation and strike tactics for better treats: boiled chicken chunks frozen in some of the water you boiled them in.

Walkies are as much mental stimulation as they are physical exercise. Take her out and let her sniff to her heart's content.

Also Puppies in particular need like, SO MUCH exercise.

Let her participate in activities with you. Herschel and charlie sit in the kitchen and I narrate cooking dinner to them, which seems to interest them, even if I don't have spare veggie ends to give them. I also frequently bring them along in the car if I'm running errands when it's cold enough to do that, so they have something new to look at, and get to participate. I also am more likely to stop at a new park and give myself some exercise and mental stimulation.

Training her to do tasks is GREAT Smart Dog enrichment- esp if she's a herding or heeler, they LOVE being helpful. I taught the dogs they get a small treat if they come in from the yard without me having to go chase them down, which saved me a lot of hassle, and now I'm working on teaching herschel to pick things up off the floor for me if I drop them and alert for chickpeas, which my housemate is allergic to.

A lot of dogs like cat-type toys. Tie a stick or some fleece to some paracord and drag or flycast it around for her to chase/play tug with when she catches it. Toys that bounce unexpectedly were also a huge hit. or just wave the string around the cat and the corgi both like that.

If you live in farm country or know other people with pets, you can grab something with the scent of another animal on it and bring it home for her to smell. Charlie and Herschel spent the better part of three days investigating the wad of horse undercoat I brought home and put in the spare wobbler for them to smell.

[townofcadence]

Artair shrugged. He watched Wendy and John. The two had moved across the cabin, setting up their own supplies for the night. His voice was low as he answered Salena. "I don't know if it'll help, but it's worth a shot. And it might keep them feeling a bit more level if they think it's an easy fix. We don't need panic." People without supernatural experience tended to act out while hysterical, which made things ... exponentially worse. Fear did terrible things to the mind; to the body too, when you were desperate enough to escape it.

He rolled his wrist, a sigh escaping him. "Either way, spirits are a case-by case basis. It's possible something happened they're not keen to tell us, and that's the cause. Something that explains why she felt.... the way she did." He shivered. "But a lot of spirits in my world don't even know they're dead. They could have died too fast, or were disoriented, or it happened in their sleep. Or they just--- enter a state of denial. Or they did know, but so long alone was enough to.... deteriorate, and forget." Artair swallowed, eyes distant and creased.

"But-- mh. But With how.... I don't know, heavy....? How much grief and this utter sense of loss I was feeling.... it's hard to imagine what they even could've done to set her off that badly. It's possible she's .... stuck. What she's feeling is real, but it could be tied to events long before any of us got here. That could explain why she's not coming into the cabin. If she's an old enough spirit to have this kind of strength, she might've died before it existed. Which might mean she's blind to the cabin itself, if she's only seeing things like they were before she died. But.... also maybe something did happen, because the storm is happening now. And maybe she can't get in because--- I don't know, someone salted the outside of the house to help with ice, and it's a perfect enough circle that she can't pass through? It's hard to say. And we don't have much of anything right now."

Artair leaned back and turned onto his side towards Sal, knees curling up to his chest. His meager frame was almost in a fetal position, with his head propped up for now. "I mean, I'm not gonna lie, those two...they were kinda-- asking for trouble, leaving the trail. For a lot of reasons not even related to ghosts. But they don't feel malicious. Just--- curious, and a little foolhardy for it?" Like he and his friends had been, a lifetime ago. "But I don't think there's a good reason to think they did something horrific enough to traumatize a ghost to grief, just yet. But who knows? Maybe they messed with the wrong thing. But also maybe they're just as unlucky as we are, and something else entirely riled her up." He sighed again, before shoving his bag under his head. He slotted his fingers together, resting against the floor beside his face.

"I don't necessarily think it's just they woke her up. But the best we can do at this point is narrow down the variables." Again, he shrugged, this time looking far more tired. "Right now, we know that they went somewhere that they weren't supposed to be. And the same day, within a short span, she started reacting. Hopefully if the cave was her resting grounds, they woke her up by stumbling in there and poking around. If that's the case, now that they've left she might settle, once she's burned through her energy manifesting this storm. But if after tonight the blizzard is still out there, at least we'll know there's something else at work, and we can work on narrowing it down."

Salena had been listening for the most part, trying to think. Artair was the expert here when it came to spirits and ghosts. Her own experience mostly delved into ones that were truly violent... She'd seen other ghosts before, and tried to compare from there.

Something didn't quite add up.

Territory could be something that would cause a spirit to turn violent... but then why did they sound like they were grieving? Even the spirits that attacked her where usually just... angry. Or they were in service to someone else. They just grew to attack whenever anyone came too close. This ghost had attacked them yes... but then why back off after she had gotten Artair? Why wasn't she then phasing through the door to get to them? It's not like they were really protected in here.

Even if that was the problem, if she had grown territorial, then wouldn't this problem persist until they had left?

Artair and Wendy had come to the conclusion that perhaps it would be best to just wait out the time to see if something changed. She'd just shrugged along with them, "Seems a better plan than anything else. Unless anyone feels stupid enough to go back out there without some other idea."

Despite agreeing, she wondered if Artair might have had some of the same thoughts as her. Salena had leaned over to him, whispering so that only he would hear her, "I hope you are right about this... I can't help but feel like something is still... off about this."

[ichiwashername-o]

I like how you draw Boq/Tin Man. Any tips or pointers for people who want to try their hand at the guy?

Wait, seriously? Well, thank you!

Honestly I struggle so hard with drawing the guy so it's surprising you like how I draw him! Considering I've been trying out how to do just that for a while now XD

But I've made a step-by-step drawing tutorial just for you:

No, in all seriousness, my best advice is to just look at other references and drawings and see what you like most about those designs and incorporate it into your own style. Tin Man really can go in so many directions, either making him futuristic robotic or steampunk or human-like. Or literally a soup can with legs.

I've since sat down and fussed with Tin Man's design, and I think I've finally nailed down something I can be happy with. It teeters that fine line of mechanical and robotic but still unmistakably human.

And have a human(Munchkin?) Boq for good measure! I know he typically doesn't sport spectacles in any stage production I've seen but I can't help headcanon him with glasses (really helps drive home his more dweeby nature)

[alwayzadorbs]

I see what you're wearing

Summary: Lucifer's reactions to different articles of clothing on you, and his personal favorites.

Rating 18+ (poetic porn) pt. 1

Your Pajamas drive him wild, he loves to see you in your most comfortable, and natural element. He basks in your beauty, astounded how somebody like you could be so elegant. The way the fabric warps to your curves, outlining the silhouette of your enchanting body. You drew him in, like a moth to a flame, he couldn't stop himself from kissing you. He would drag you into his room for a restless night, he'll take it slow.

RAD uniform gives him the hots more than he'd admit, you somehow make the uniform more....alluring, captivating, and sensual. Even if you weren't doing anything to make the uniform revealing, his mind took his time undressing you. imaging the naughtiness of stripping your uniform off in the student council room before a meeting or after a test.

micro bikini Loves it, the allure of not being able to see your most private parts, but he doesn't think its very practical, he'll just tear it off in the heat of the moment. "If I find out you're dressing like this for any other demon, ill have to reprimand you." he'll say before pulling you in, he wont let you go until he's had enough.

his clothes, When he first saw you, The morning after you spent the night in his bed. He thought you were the most beautiful being he'd ever seen, especially now that you'd adorned your body in his clothing. He reveled in the fact you were wrapped in his scent, there's no doubt its his favorite way to see you.

your garter belt drove his eyes up. He started down, noticing your sock choice, long, black stockings. hugging your thighs perfectly, skin muffining at the top, meeting with the clip of the garter, a thin black line of fabric guiding his eyes up, before disappearing behind your skirt. He instantly thought about what you were wearing underneath your outfit, where your underwear matching your stockings and garterbelt? He had to know, pushing you inside his room, peeling your clothes away from your body to uncover the delicious sight of your underwear, black and chic.

scanty, Lucifer Loves to see you in the nude, scantily clad, if you will. He couldn't care less about your looks, they were hardly a priority when choosing you as his partner. However, this doesn't mean he won't care when presented with your body, He'd worship you, loving every nook and cranny, every indistinct "imperfection", but to him, there was no imperfection. Every piece, every fold or dip, He loved. He didn't just sexually enjoy your body, he loved it because it was you. Even if somebody looked exactly like you, he wouldn't love them, because they wouldn't be you. You were the only Human for him, and he hoped, that he was the only demon for you.

꧁🙟⎯✣⎯⎯⎯⚜⎯⎯⎯✣⎯🙜꧂

i apologize for not posting, also for a short post,, I write at night and I end up too tired by the time I remember to write again.. XD

[cece693]

May I request some Will Graham x Werewolf Male Reader? I can imagine Will taking home another stray dog he stumbled upon while driving home at night, totally doesn't care that the dog looks more like a wolf than husky with it's dark fur 🐺

Really smart like covering Will with a blanket when he fell asleep on the couch while doing work and making sure Hannibal don't snoop around Will's stuff when he comes over. Will became ever more conscious of how smart his new pup is after the dog apparently called Hannibal from Will's contact and barked into the phone to let the psychiatrist know that something was wrong (cuz Reader can't turn back into his human form and blow up his disguise) and Hannibal drove all the way from Baltimore to Wolf Trap in the middle of the night to find Will having seizure on the floor and Reader (still wolf) standing beside him so eerily while looking at Hannibal like 'Help him or else'. Such a good boy XD

And if Will ever catch his dog sneaking away into the woods and witnessed the dark furry figure turn/transform into a man, well... Let's just say he'll probably have quite a hot view cuz turning back into a human with no clothes on is just the most logical thing, right? ( ͡⁠°⁠ ͜⁠ʖ⁠ ͡⁠°) (I never understood how werewolf turn back into a human with at least pants on) Maybe nsfw after that? It's up to you.

So, I was taken aback by this request, but not in a bad way. Like I never thought about this, but it also makes sense when connecting the dots. I didn't include much background info about the male reader, just Will finding him and when he discovers you're actually a werewolf. No explicit smut, but mentions of it. Hope you enjoy!

A Stray In Wolf Trap

pairing: will graham x male reader tags: you're a werewolf, but act like a dog, mentions of hannibal but isn't much of a focus, will is freaky, no he doesn't have sex with a wolf, but his morals are questionable, squint to see you being jealous of hannibal

Will should’ve known better than to pick up yet another stray dog. He had too many already, and the last thing he needed was to put more responsibilities upon himself when he was on the verge of a mental breakdown. Yet, on that chilly Virginia night, when his headlights swept across your dark, wolfish silhouette by the side of the road, he couldn’t just drive by. Something deep in his gut pulled him to stop, and if there was any place you belonged, he decided, it was in his home.

He coaxed you into the passenger seat with gentle words and a leftover half-eaten burger. You almost looked more wolf than dog, but Will dismissed that creeping thought. He tried to convince himself it was your thick coat, the slope of your muzzle. Maybe just a large husky mix that no one cared for. Either way, he promised to put up “found pet” notices. It was only a matter of days—or so he told himself—until someone claimed you.

Days turned into weeks. Weeks into a month. You settled into Will’s life seamlessly. You had your own space in a corner by the fireplace, though you were clever enough to saunter over and curl yourself at Will’s feet whenever you sensed tension coiling around him. It amazed him how soothing your presence was—and how quickly you learned his rhythms. On nights when Will tossed and turned, or fell asleep over cold files on the couch, he’d wake to find a blanket draped over him, your enormous head resting on your paws as if to watch him.

“You’re too smart for your own good,” Will murmured one morning, giving your ears a gentle scratch. “You almost make the other dogs look ordinary.”

He’d laugh it off, attributing the thought to his own habit of anthropomorphizing animals. He spoke to you like a person. But it wasn’t long before even Hannibal, who occasionally dropped by for sessions—or to ‘check’ on Will—took notice. In fact, he commented the moment he walked through the front door and you placed yourself squarely between him and Will.

“What an exceptional creature,” Hannibal mused with a polite, curious smile, though his gaze was calculating. You bared your teeth in a near-silent warning, matching his intensity.

Despite your mistrust of Hannibal, you were fiercely protective of Will. When Hannibal tried to wander into Will’s study uninvited, you ghosted after him on silent paws, letting out a low growl. And though Will didn’t see that particular exchange, Hannibal calmly backed off. Will had no clue that “his dog” was the reason Hannibal stayed so carefully within polite boundaries.

One awful night, everything changed. Will had been battling the encroaching migraines and suspected encephalitis for weeks, but this was the first time it struck so suddenly and violently. You caught him right as he started seizing, crashing to the ground in an unsteady tangle of limbs.

Panic crashed through you. You couldn’t turn back into your human form—not here, not when Will might see, not when Hannibal was the nearest professional who could help. You pawed at Will’s phone, pressing the screen with a careful claw until you found the contact for Dr. Lecter. You tapped it, pressing your muzzle to the mic once you heard the line connect. A frantic bark. Then another. Somehow—maybe from the tension in your voice, or the static of your breath—Hannibal understood. A clipped, urgent, “I’m on my way,” preceded the call ending.

When Hannibal arrived, Will was still unconscious on the floor, his limbs occasionally jerking with aftershocks of the seizure. You stood over him, ears pricked sharply, your eyes flicking to Hannibal with an almost human intelligence. If the doctor did not act, you silently warned, there would be consequences. Hannibal gently coaxed you aside, calling an ambulance and administering emergency aid. Will awoke in the hospital later, disoriented but alive, Hannibal seated at his bedside. You waited at home, anxious and pacing until Will returned—but, ultimately, relieved he was safe.

Time passed. Will’s treatments began to stabilize him. You remained at his side through every moment of his recovery. His resolve to put up “found dog” notices weakened month by month. He cherished your presence too much now. You were so quiet, so fiercely loyal, and helped ease his nightmares in a way even the other dogs couldn’t. But Will’s curiosity about your intelligence never was ignored.

It was four months after your arrival when Will caught you leaving the house around midnight. You slipped through the back door, trotting into the tree line as if you had a destination in mind. Will, who never did sleep well, threw on boots and followed.

He almost lost you in the thick of the forest, but he heard the faint crackle of leaves and found you standing in a small clearing. He nearly stopped breathing when your body began to contort. Fur receded into smooth skin. Joints cracked, rearranging themselves, muzzle shrinking into the shape of a human face. And just like that, you stood there, naked under the moonlight: a man.

You froze, feeling that Will was near and had seen everything. Turning to the trees, you saw his eyes locked on you—wide and in disbelief.

A rush of terror and relief coursed through you in equal measure. You’d wanted him to know—but not like this, with you bare and vulnerable. Will’s chest rose and fell as though he couldn’t decide if this was a nightmare or some near-hallucinatory dream. Time stretched. Will approached slowly. He took off his jacket, his voice low and soft—much like when he’d found you on the roadside.

“You must be freezing.”

Typical Will. Only he could witness a seamless transformation from wolf to human and think about your comfort first. His quiet empathy nearly undid you. Gently, he stepped forward and draped his old, worn jacket around your shoulders. The fabric smelled of him—coffee and soap, a hint of the wooden floors back home.

Will keeps his gaze on your face, though you see a faint flush darkening his cheeks; he’s careful not to linger on your naked body. He swallowed hard, Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat.

“I—I should ask what you are,” he said, his voice trembling slightly, “but somehow it makes sense, in a way.” He met your eyes, breath fogging in the cool air. “All those little things—how you understood me, how you guarded me. I thought I was projecting.” A shaky laugh escaped him. “Turns out the profiler wasn’t imagining monsters—he was living with one.”

The word monster made your chest tighten. You opened your mouth to apologize, to explain—but Will’s hand came up, thumb brushing the corner of your lips. “Not a monster,” he said, voice steadying. “Just different. And still mine.”

The claim sent a flush through you. “I was scared you’d run.”

“I almost did,” he admitted, shoulders sagging with honesty. “But then I remembered how it felt when I woke up after the seizure and you were the only thing between me and the dark.” His eyes shone, damp in the moonlight. “If you’d wanted to hurt me, you’d have done it long ago.”

You swallowed, throat thick. “I never could.”

“I know.” He reached for your hand, twining his fingers through yours. “Come on. Let’s go home before you catch cold.”

You nodded, not trusting your voice to stay steady. When you reached the tree line and the scattered lights from Will’s house came into view, you paused. Part of you felt that crossing that threshold—going inside as a human—was a point of no return. In wolf form, you had retreated from the world’s expectations, from fear of rejection or exposure. But there was no retreat now, not when he’d seen you, heard you, and still wanted you near.

Will seemed to sense the hesitation, pulling at you like an invisible tether. He turned, offering an encouraging half-smile before opening the door. The other dogs greeted you both with sleepy wags, unperturbed by your new form—proof that, to them, you’d always been pack. Will guided you to the bathroom, turning on the shower and testing the water with careful fingers.

“You should warm up,” he said, voice a notch huskier in the small, steamy room. He stepped back to leave, but you caught his wrist.

“Stay?”

Color rose to his cheeks, but he nodded. Clothes hit the floor in soft thumps. Steam curled around his shoulders, glistening on skin you’d only brushed in moonlit frenzy. Under the water, you washed away dirt and leaves; Will’s gentle hands lathered soap along your spine, fingertips mapping every scar the forest had never seen.

When he turned you to face him, his vulnerability was laid bare—eyes dark with want, but shining with fear that you’d disappear when the water stopped. “I need to say it,” he breathed, palms framing your face. “If you leave now—if I wake up and you’re gone—I don’t know what will happen to the little sanity I have left.”

A growl—soft, protective—rumbled in your chest. You pressed your forehead to his. “I’m not leaving, Will. Not tonight, not ever, unless you ask me to.”

Relief loosened something inside him; Will surged up to kiss you, water cascading between parted lips. The shower’s hiss masked the broken sounds you both made as need bled into touch—his slick hands sliding down your ribs, yours bracing against the tile while he explored every new plane of your body. “I’ve needed you—more than I realized. Even before I knew…knew you were…” Will swallowed, clearly grappling with how to phrase what you were, what you meant. “What if you decide this was a mistake?—”

You silenced him with a gentle kiss. “I can’t leave you, Will. I won’t.” A surge of protectiveness flared inside your chest. You knew how fragile his psyche could be, how much he second-guessed himself, how the world’s cruelty had left him constantly braced for the worst. Will’s breath hitched at the promise in your words. He let his head drop back, exposing the gentle curve of his throat. You pressed your mouth there, tasting the dampness of his skin.

By the time you stumbled to the bed, droplets clung to your skin like stars. Will pushed you gently onto the mattress, straddling your thighs. “Tell me if it’s too much,” you whispered, brushing wet curls from his brow.

“It’s enough,” he answered, hips rocking forward. “It’s everything.”

And indeed, it was everything.

Sheets twisted, breaths hitched. You moved slowly at first—careful of the lingering ache from the shift, careful of the fragile glass of Will’s trust—until his nails dug crescents into your shoulders and caution gave way to raw, pulsing rhythm. Each thrust was a promise: I’m here. I’m real. I’m yours. Will met you with desperate little noises, gasping your name like a litany.

Now, with the rush of climax behind you both, you felt his breathing slow against your skin. You stayed tucked against his neck, exchanging soft, caressing kisses over the rapid flutter of his pulse. Slowly, you became aware of how tightly he clung to you—arms looped around your waist, chest rising in small, trembling exhales.

He was so warm, so alive against you. It hit you all at once: despite every secret you’d kept, every fear of rejection, you were here, in this moment, wanted. You might have stayed there indefinitely—content to savor the soft hush of his breaths and the subtle brush of his lips on your shoulder. But then Will’s whisper came, and it pulled you from the reverie.

“You feel like home,” he murmured, voice hoarse with emotion.

The quiet admission struck a chord deep inside your chest. You lifted your head, gazing down at him. His curls were plastered to his forehead, lashes damp, pupils still wide with after‑shock. Yet the rawness that had shone in his eyes moments ago was softened now—replaced by something gentler, steadier. Belonging. In that moment, it felt like no distance existed between you, as though you’d known each other for much longer than a few months.

“You feel like home,” he said again, but with more conviction.

Your throat tightened. Home. It was a concept you’d almost forgotten—nights spent half‑feral under foreign moons, never daring to stay long enough for roots to take. But here, in Will’s rumpled sheets, it sounded possible. “Then I’ll stay,” you murmured, voice rough. “As long as you’ll have me.”

A shaky smile curved his mouth. “I’m holding you to that.” He shifted, guiding you to lie on your side so he could curl into your chest, legs tangling with yours. You let him arrange you, draping an arm over his waist, fingers splaying across the subtle tremor in his belly—after‑quakes from pleasure and lingering fear.

Silence settled, broken only by the dogs downstairs padding about, reassured that their alpha and his…mate were safe. Will’s breathing slowed, but you felt the question still hovering in him, delicate as glass. “What happens now?” he finally asked, voice small against your collarbone.

“Now,” you said, “we sleep. Tomorrow we talk. I’ll tell you everything you want to know—about the shift, the full moons, the danger.” Your hand skimmed up to cradle the back of his head. “And we figure out how to keep you safe. How to keep us safe.”

Will’s fingers traced idle patterns over the lines of muscle at your side, grounding himself. “Hannibal will have questions,” he warned softly. “He already suspects you’re…extraordinary.”

A low growl rumbled in your chest before you could stop it. Will huffed a tired laugh, rubbing soothing circles over your ribs. “Easy, wolf. We’ll handle him together.”

Together. The word settled between you like a cornerstone. You dipped your head to kiss the soft spot beneath his ear, feeling him melt. “I’ll be here when you wake,” you promised. “No more disappearing into the woods without explanation.”

“And I’ll stop pretending I don’t talk to my dog like he understands every word,” he teased, voice already slurring with impending sleep.

You chuckled, nuzzling deeper into his curls. “I did understand every word.”

“I know,” he murmured, amusement giving way to drowsy contentment. “Guess that makes me less crazy than I thought.”

You tightened your arm around him, letting the steady rise and fall of his chest guide your own breaths. Outside, the wind rustled through pines, carrying the scent of damp earth and distant rivers—but for the first time in years, you felt no pull to run beneath it. Everything you needed was in your arms.

[archangeldyke-all]

Reader just straight up not comprehending that Sevika is scary? Like when people talk about how intimidating Sevika is and Reader is just like “Uhm, what do you mean?? That’s my Sevi-bear?? She’s precious.” Pffft

-🥨

I LOVE THIS

men and minors dni

out of all the people in silco's little gang, you never understood why people thought sevika was scariest.

silco is scary. the man never raises his voice, doesn't bat an eye when he orders someone's death, and seemingly feels no remorse about anything... ever. he could blow over in a strong wind, but somehow, through sliminess alone, he's come to rule the entire undercity. that's scary.

lock is scary. just the pure physical size of him is intimidating enough, but add onto that the scars, prison tattoos, and the added strength of shimmer-- the man looks more like a killing machine than a human sometimes.

ran freaks you the fuck out-- they're quiet as fuck on their feet, and they've never missed a target-- sometimes, you think you see them in the shadows of your apartment at night.

but sevika?! sevika's not scary.

sevika's a fucking grandpa.

sevika's happiest when she's gambling with her boys, a cigarette in her mouth, you in her lap.

sevika loves to read but always falls asleep a chapter or two in, snoring as her book falls closed in her hands.

sevika can't be left alone around a freshly baked sweet treat-- or she'll eat the entire thing in one sitting.

sevika's not scary.

"you're married to sevika!?" a goon asks one evening while you wait for her to wrap up her work.

you blink at the man in front of you, trying to place him. he must be a new hire. "why is that surprising to you?" you ask.

"you seem so normal, and sevika's scary!" he squawks. you huff and roll your eyes.

"have you ever tried to get to know her? or do you just let the eyeliner and mech arm scare you off?" you ask. the man ties to speak, but a flash of anger sparks up in you. "you know, i bet you wouldn't be saying this if sevika was a man. why is sevika scary? 'cause she's a woman with power-- that's why." you're ranting now, defensive of your wife and getting worked up.

"no, that's not--"

"baby!" sevika's sweet voice calls. your little argument is completely forgotten as you turn around to greet your wife with a dreamy sigh.

"sevi-bear." you coo, pulling sevika in for a hug. she nuzzles against your throat, humming happily as you comb your fingers through her hair. "let's get outta here baby. made some brownies for you-- they're cooling off at home."

"fuck. i love you so much."

the pair of you leave the bar, tangled in each other's arms, none the wiser to the flabbergasted goon you left behind.

(sevika had threatened to tie a noose around his balls and let him dangle from the rafters earlier today when he'd joked about cheating at a game of cards.)

(now he's questioning his sanity, because the same woman who made him shit his pants in fear at lunchtime is giggling and covering her very defensive, slightly delusional wife in smooches as you two leave the bar hand in hand.)

taglist!

@fyeahnix @lavendersgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner

@shimtarofstupidity @chuucanchuucan @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther

@ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai

@glass-apothecary @macaroni676 @artinvain @k3n-dyll @sevsdollette

@ellieslob @xayn-xd @keikuahh @maneskinwh0re @raphaellearp

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[darqx]

Another BP/HH/Gen answer dump as usual starting with BP and then moving into the other two \o/

All demons age about the same rate as humans (although with earlier milestones as babies) UNTIL they hit their 30s-40s after which aging slows down drastically 🙂‍↕️

Izm chasing you down to get .D back like

🤔 You guys sometimes really make me think about things I don't often have to think about LOL. I'm just gonna do the gang this time so off the top of my head:

Izm and .D are often eating sushi in my drawings and since I'm pretty sure Izm is mainly the one buying, sushi is his fave. He'll eat any type but he prefers the raw fish ones.

Whilst .D also likes sushi, it's not his fave dish. His fave dish is pasta in a red sauce (like Sugo or Arrabiata) for some reason. Nostalgia maybe?

Zeke is a meat and potatoes kind of guy, so, a nice juicy sirloin with mushroom sauce and a side of roast potatoes and veggies. (BP!Zeke is similar but he really likes pork/bacon particularly, so a pork roast for him probably).

Wei Ren's comfort foods are chicken congee, and seafood steamboat/hot pot.

Marcus' fave is his mom's chicken casserole.

Oh I'm glad (and thank you very much)! I hope you get lots of inspiration and can create a lot of things :D

Hm, that's a good question! I think, for doodling purposes, my fave is Rire mainly because Rire always looks more or less completed in black and white. My other two faves are .D and Izm - .D is a good exercise in subtle expressions whereas Izm is the complete opposite (esp with BP!Izm with that mouth).

Yes. I mean, I'd prefer you be at least 15 for those two things only cos if i had to age rate them they could be considered M or MA15+.

Hullo! The short answer is that there are also "not normal" skin tones, it depends on the demon species :)

The rest of society is pretty standard so yes there are charlatans in the world of BP lol. HOWEVER, no one would pretend to be a BP for three distinct reasons:

You need to be sanctioned to be a BP (ie they have abilities that normal people do not, like being able to perform exorcisms.)

There is no profit to be had as BPs generally don't get paid (all their living expenses are generally covered by their religion's HQ).

It's dangerous work. You'd have better luck being a bank robber.

Desmond is def a club music kind of guy XD EDMs, techno, trance, hardstyle, house, whatever - the kind of stuff you jump energetically up and down to at a club/concert/rave, he'll listen to it.

Not yet for BP (soon...🙏🏻). HH wasn't really a comic series so much as a bunch of somewhat random one shots I did for fun lol.

^ you guys :d

I don't put my pronouns anywhere partly because it is lowkey amusing for me to see how people perceive me online. It doesn't really matter to me, so go with your best guess lol.

You would be surprised at how much time those two hobbies can take up outside of work |D; I also like doing puzzle games (like Quordle etc), coding, going for walks/bike riding, making slightly odd food combos in normal recipes and freaking out my friends on Discord with them, and watching horror/disaster films and playthroughs of horror games.

Maybe one day I would, but not at this particular time, sorry!

Thanks for asking as this is a bit of a grey type area! Personally, I think that as long as this is purely for your own use and you aren't going to on-sell it in any way...then it should be ok. I'm going to categorise something like this as somewhat similar to say...people printing out my art to stick to their wall type thing. Of course, if you ended up buying a bunch and then thought oh i have so many extra I'll sell them to whoever wants them - that would be a no no.

In what capacity lol if there's something I've learned from real life it's never agree or disagree to anything without knowing specifics. Eg if you would like to use my art as a PFP on tumblr then you can if you credit it, but if you want to use my art as a face claim for your own charac then i would have to say no, etc.

That makes two of us as i am not familiar with the twisted wonderland universe :P

.D: Diasomnia

Izm: Pomefiore

Wei Ren: Ignihyde

Zeke: Savanaclaw

Marcus: Diasomnia

I never really specified one so my friends and I have been calling it the fictional city of Hedone lol.

I haven't given up on HH, i just dont draw it nearly as much since i'm focussing on developing BP :) Anyway HH wasn't seriously planned to be a comic or anything (though technically...it does have a very loose storyline that I've alluded to in some drawings |D ) so it's something I can just jump back into and doodle whenever i feel like.

This was from a while back

It's pretty straightforward HH is a slice of life 'verse where my main characs are in an all boy's boarding school and Rire is the headmaster. It focuses on the boys shenanigans though so if you specifically like Rire you will be disappointed as he's barely in it.

I cut off this post cos I dont think the stuff in it should be shared with other random people even though anon is on anon. If this is you anon i hope you are doing well and i would genuinely encourage you to talk to someone about certain things (like a therapist maybe).

[lets-try-some-writing]

(For your Mr. Pax AU:)

Imagine the kids meeting Elita. It'd be so fragging wholesome XD

It'd more then likely be after the school day, too. Lmao.

It would and I have opted to answer the call for this ask.

━━━━━━ ⊙ ❖ ⊙ ━━━━━━━━━━━━

"So kids, how was school?" Elita grinned as the children settled on their platform, spreading out homework and other assignments for the cycle. She regarded their work with interest. It seemed simple enough in her optics, but then again, the human children were very small.

"Oh! You're Elita! Optimus's wife!" Miko shot up, a huge smile on her small squishy face. The urge to reach out and poke one of her cheeks was strong, but Elita refrained. It wouldn't do to go poking the children when it was far safer just to wait until later and do it in holoform.

"I'm his Conjunx, yes." Jack pointedly did not look in her direction. Elita could almost see the way his venting would have sputtered if he were Cybertronian. She may not have been well versed in all things human as of the present moment, but even she could see he looked a moment away from exploding.

"Woah, I didn't know Optimus was married." Rafael added his own commentary, closing his laptop to look up at Elita with wide eyes. She had to fight back an awed noise at how adorable he looked. He was tiny, his glasses only making him look more like a sparkling in her optics. She wanted to poke his cheeks as well, but that would have to wait.

"He's been my Conjunx for a very long time kiddo. Since before he became Prime in fact." Miko and Rafael made awed noises, and even Jack looked up at her in surprise, his embarrassment over the parent-teacher conference forgotten.

"Really? Optimus doesn't seem like the kind of guy to well... do that?" Jack was hesitant in his words, but Elita laughed in short order. She clutched her abdomen as she considered Jack's point of view, all but cackling. Her Conjunx could be quite stern when he wanted to be, especially when stressed. She'd already heard about how Optimus shut down any attempts at being introduced to humor. It was no surprise Jack was startled.

"He wasn't always such a stoic figure. Back when we were young, we got into all sorts of trouble." Resting a servo on her hip as he laughter died down, Elita watched as the children practically lit up at the reveal. Jack was quiet with his interest, but Rafael and Miko were not.

"Optimus in trouble? Oooh this is some blackmail material I need!" Miko did a little dance in place, the plushies on her belt shifting as she did an excited twirl. Elita again had to fight the urge to pick up and cuddle the squishy organic close. It probably wouldn't end well, but she hadn't been able to hold such a small creature since Bee was freshly forged.

"I don't think you can blackmail Prime with stuff that millions of years old." Jack, being so much like Optimus, tried to rain on everyone's parade with logic. Thankfully, his little black raincloud bounced right off Miko and Rafael who were still staring at Elita like she hung the moon.

"Married couples always have wild blackmail!" Miko flailed, throwing her arms up in the air as she grinned. Jack sighed and Rafael secretly adjusted his glasses to try and hide a smile. Elita could feel it right then and there as adoration settled in her spark.

Yes, she was keeping these squishies. She could convince Optimus later.

"I have quite a few stories for you. But only if you promise to not harass Optimus with them. He's got enough going on." Holding up a digit to her derma, Elita smiled as the children each agreed, some more enthusiastically than others.

"We won't bother him. Promise." Rafael's eyes only seemed to be made bigger by his glasses. Elita's spark leapt in its chamber, the cuteness of the scene overriding her usual serious attitude as mischievousness she had long left behind began to resurge.

"Settle down then children. Let me tell you all about Orion's first visit to the docks." Elita could see Optimus out of the corner of her optic looming in the nearby hall. He looked to be mostly uncaring as he waited there, listening in. But she could see the hint of a smile on his features. He wasn't opposed to her decision, giving her all the more reason to tell her tale.

It had been so very long since they'd had anyone who cared enough to hear their story.