#he has a gazillion nicknames

[h0n3yk1tt3n]

bestie your cat somehow looks exactly like mine

Bestie this is a Hamster

[dearheart42regenerated]

gritting my teeth and sharing this in the tag in hopes that it'll help me manifest actually FINISHING this fic.......

--

“I’m still not buying this!” Chuck popped out from the passenger’s side and leaned over the door, pointing an accusing finger at her. “How do you really know about Mutt?” he demanded.

Capri blinked and frowned, giving him a once-over as she crossed her arms. “How do you know about Mutt, Goldilocks?”

Texas cracked up at the nickname, slapping Dutch on the back. “Goldilocks! That’s a good one, hahaha…” 

“The name’s Chuck, for your information,” huffed Goldilocks, “and I’ve been hanging with Mikey since elementary school. Where have you been his whole life?”

“Elementary school, huh?” Something bitter flickered in her eyes. “That must’ve been nice…”

Mike tried to calm his friend, slightly taken aback by how riled up he was. “Easy, Chuckles, let’s just–”

“No! I’m not gonna sit back and let some random stranger put you through this all over again, dude! It’s not okay!”

“Look, I appreciate it, but–”

“All she has is a story about your bobblehead. That’s not actual proof she’s your sister!”

“He’s right.” Dutch’s eyes were wary. “Anyone could make up a childhood memory like that. How do we know Kane isn’t paying this one off like he did with your fake dad?”

“Let’s at least hear her out first, guys,” said Julie, exasperated. “You can’t demand ‘real proof’ and then not give her a chance at all! Maybe she–”

“I still say she’s an evil clone!” Texas declared.

The arguing devolved into chaos, everyone speaking over each other to the point where nothing coherent could be heard anymore.

“Heartwarming reunion over, I guess,” Capri muttered, unfastening her thigh holster. She pulled out a laser pistol and fired two blasts into the air. “EVERYONE. SHUT UP.”

Everyone shut up.

She sighed and holstered the gun, glaring at nobody in particular. “Sweet baby gumdrops. Okay. FIRST of all…” She turned to Mike. “You don’t need to take my word for it. I wouldn’t take my word for it, either.” Her com-screen popped up, glowing fiery orange. She scrolled, selected a file with the words “CAPRI C. GENETIC PROFILE” hovering above it, and flicked it over to him. “There you go. The DNA can speak for itself.”

Mike took it but barely glanced at it, still looking at her as if she were a hologram herself – something that could disappear any second. Chuck just stared at the unopened file from the other side of the car, unable to hide his own curiosity.

“Secondly. Goldilocks.”

He jumped and straightened his posture with a gulp. (Texas snickered.)

Her boots thumped in the silence as she strode towards him, cold annoyance in her voice. “For your information, I wasn’t talking about Mutt to prove I’m Mike’s sister. I brought it up to find out if he’s my brother.” She fished in one of her pockets and pulled out a well-worn photograph, dangling it in front of his nose. “There could be any number of ‘Mike Chiltons’ running around and I haven’t been here in a while. I wanted to be sure.” 

“Whoa,” he murmured, one hand reaching for it. 

Capri snatched it away, eyes hard as steel, and walked back around to Mike. Her expression softened when she handed the photo to him. “I am sure, now.”

It showed a little girl with messy hair and an even messier t-shirt – face scrunched up in a grin, one front tooth missing – and a wide-eyed baby dangling in her arms like a kidnapped puppy, clutching Mutt in small chubby hands, attempting to shove the top of its bobbing head in his mouth. The colors were faded, the edges bent and torn; but the happiness captured in it was so vibrant it made his chest ache. 

Any doubts he had left vanished, replaced by dizzying questions he couldn’t find words for. He had a sister. This was real. (What happened?)

“Thirdly!” said Capri, giving the other Burners a smile that bordered on a snarl. “I’m so very sorry if I’m being rude here, it's just that I spent the last seventy-two hours hopping city-to-colony and crossing a gazillion miles of mutants, raiders, boiling heatwaves and radiation pits to get back to Motorcity. Totally for funsies, of course. It's not like I’ve been trying to track down the only family I have left or anything.” 

Everyone shifted uncomfortably.

“Point being, I’ve had a long flippin’ day! So how about you nosy little ferrets take that file I just sent, run the DNA test, confirm I’m actually not a lying scumbag, and then y’all can decide on how to torture me next. What do you think?” she growled, shooting “Goldilocks” an incinerating look. “That sound alright to you? Chuck?”

Chuck all but melted into a whimpering puddle of terror and compliance, stammering out a vaguely affirmative reply as he stumbled over to where the unopened file still hovered.

“Great! Glad we could get that sorted out.” 

Everything in her demeanor dripped with spite…but Mike was beginning to notice the dark circles under her eyes, the heaviness in her shoulders. How many miles had she really crossed to get here? How many hours had she spent combing the dark labyrinth of Motorcity to find him? (Based on nothing but a hope that it might be him?)

And then they had all assumed the worst of her. 

Capri must be exhausted.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me…” She stormed off towards her motorcycle. “I’m gonna check my bike for damage and maybe also secretly plot to sell out your leader to the guy who destroyed my whole childhood. Holler if you need me.”

[agereninjas]

…. Harumi Regressor/Caregiver headcanons?

(I LOVE doing hcs if you can't tell lol)

Regressor hcs-

🕷️- Has 30-ish stuffies and will get very upset if you don't memorize all of their names /hj

🕷️- Learned about agere from Lloyd after Crystalized, and after a while they started to have a lot of playdates together

🕷️- Hates naptime but also loves napping if that makes sense

🕷️- Loves to cuddle with people (her caregiver, Lloyd(once he's comfortable with it), her stuffies, basically anyone she can)

🕷️- Has her own spider-themed nursery stuff that she LOVES to death and back

🕷️- She just loves anything spider-themed. Clothes? Definitely. Toys? Of course. Pacifier? She will love you forever.

Cg hcs-

🕷️- Very protective of her little one(s)

🕷️- She loves using the nicknames 'Prince/Princess/Princex/Princette', 'Little spider', 'Precious', and 'Your Highness"

🕷️- Sings lullabies when her little one(s) have trouble sleeping

🕷️- Spoils her little one(s) SO much to the point where it's getting ridiculous

🕷️- Likes to cook/bake for her little one(s), even if she isn't really good at it at first

🕷️- Often cuddles with her little one(s), will drop anything if they ask

🕷️- She likes to give you spider-themed stuff, but if you're scared by it, she'll apologize a gazillion times and get you whatever other thing you want

🕷️- The master at making blanket forts, especially if its for a movie night, sleepover, etc

[indigos-shits-and-giggles]

i wanna hear abt wes!!!

Okay SO Wes is this very anxious, standoffish guy who recently moved to Hatchetfield from Clivesdale and it's generally seen as just... nice but very weird by the other citizens in Hatchetfield. Like, for some reason he rarely ever gives out its actual name, leading to his acquaintances giving it a lot of creative nicknames. Even its closest friends only know him by just Wes, and if someone annoys him enough it'll just pull an Odysseus and claim his name is Nobody. It's generally just very paranoid and rather cagey about certain bits of information about himself, even around people it DOES know and trust.

So, why the hell is it like this?

Well, waaaaaayyyyy back in the day when Wes was like four and its older brother, Ridley, was eight, he and its family actually used to live in Hatchetfield! In fact, Wes and Ridley were born there and probably have a touch of the Gift but that's not important right now. However, their parents had gotten tangled up in some pretty nasty cult bullshit and decided they needed to leave right the hell now, because they didn't want their kids getting stuck in that stuff too. So, they moved to where they knew no one would follow: CLIVESDALE.

Their childhood in Clivesdale is pretty chill all things considered. The first year or so was definitely a bit to adjust to, but Ridley made sure to look out for Wes whenever he could. Naturally this kinda led Wes to look up to him a little because, hey, Ridley Very Fucking Cool and adventurous, and he never backs down from a challenge.

However, they still got family stuck in Hatchetfield, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and cousins, so naturally the second Ridley turns 20, he gets the bright idea to go back to Hatchetfield for a few weeks, maybe a month depending on how much he enjoys himself, just to shoot the shit with some family and get in some much needed adventure. See, he's heard some pretty neat rumours about Hatchetfield, and because thing has long since gotten stale in Clivesdale, he figured it'd be a nice change of pace.

So, Ridley heads down to Hatchetfield, writing Wes letters every other week with photographs and illustrations of all the things he's seen, the people he met, stuff like that. It seems to be going fan fucking tastic for him, until...

The letters stop.

As a month goes by, Wes tries to not think too much about it. It's always had a problem with anxiety and being paranoid, he wouldn't put it past itself to be stressed out like this for no reason. Maybe Ridley was having too much fun, or maybe he's still sending letters but they're just getting lost in the mail. But then, another week goes by. And another. Two whole months pass and Wes STILL hasn't heard from Ridley. He's called him a gazillion times, sent him letter after letter, care package after care package, but it just doesn't know if Ridley's getting them, or if Ridley's even alive.

So, Wes and his family calls the police and files his brother missing. For a moment, Wes considers trying to march down to Hatchetfield to look for Ridley himself. Only, at this point it's 16, he still has its parents to worry about and tell him what to do, and it hasn't even learned how to drive yet. Also, the Nantucket bridge is hardly ever lowered, he'd have to wait 'til the perfect moment to sneak across.

So, he waited. Waited until it'd would be old enough to move out too, waited until he could finally have the freedom to find its goddamn brother again. At first, it felt like he was waiting forever, but when he got old enough, the exact same age Ridley was when he first left, Wes is finally ready to leave. He packs his things, scrapes together what little change it can, and moves into a shitty, shitty apartment in the tiny town of Hatchetfield.

Somewhere along the way, he finds a bunch of unsent letters written by its brother, journals filled back to back with notes on all the cool shit Ridley found there. But as Wes continues reading, he realizes with a start that Ridley, adventurous, curious Ridley, may have gotten himself into something he really shouldn't. Yeaaahhhh, Ridley managed to piss off both the Church of Starry Children AND CCRP (despite their parents' attempts to make sure that wouldn't happen), and both were more than ready to make this guy "from" Clivesdale disappear. And of course, Wes is destined to follow the same exact fate as his poor, older brother, the one it looked up to the most.

But don't worry! Ridley's still alive, in a way. Sure, he... may not be entirely human anymore. It's hard to tell if there's any of him still left in the broken, shambling husk that roams the Witchwood. But he's there, waiting for Wes to find him.

[mtnkat3]

Ok. I'm tired. Just got back & settled for the cat to sit on me! Lol! But need a rest. Heck even my counselor grimaced at my elbow!

Working on my diagnosis right now but seems to be ptsd, being a lifetime of abuse, fits.

But I tend to hate labels. Too easy, too narrowing. I don't like being put in a box.

Don't get me wrong, certain situations.. I find comfort being.. confined.

But try to pigeonhole me, put me on a pedestal & I will look at you with defiance & kick the thing into the atmosphere! That is, after I totally smash it to smithereens! Then... dare ya .. with an eyebrow quirked.

I. Hate. Labels.

Sheepish blushin. Tired. Sorry.

Counseling, bank, usps, pick up wh for lunch.. ham & cheese hoagie was good, but requires extra meat. Oink. Oink. Grinning.

Then stopped at publix for a elbow wrap & pearls cold pack.

Btw, anyone know of anything else I can do for elbow pain?

Lesson... NEVER hold a pyrex baking dish with one hand while throwing a turkey carcass with the other.. grimace. I wouldn't be surprised if this is more than a bruise. Sigh. Hurts like the dickens, & can't stand to touch it. [The blue doesn't show up too well in pic. Sorry. But there is circle of blood around the red.] Signing a check sucked. Btw.. right handed elbow.. ugh.

Brushing my hair... after driving with the windows down.. so not fun, but I couldn't twist a good bun this morning! Sorta pout sigh.

Anyways.. gonna rest my eyes, elevate my elbow & try to decompress for half an hour.

But then I got baking dishes to wash, a lodge grill pan to clean & reseason & a gazillion other chores.

Just.. thought you. . might like to know.. ..

Oh.. think I had a lightbulb moment.. I am both walking on a bridge.. & I am the bridge..

I need to think on this though. Too worn to be coherent at present.

Being without you in my presence.. it gets more & more painful.. more & more ripping aches to my soul as each day goes by.

I can only pray that God opens the gates of my energy & stamina to persevere. That He has a trailer for me to find. That He works on wh to finish before the abolsite last minute.

I pray these to rebuild my life.

I pray to be a good & righteous woman, His daughter. Be the warrior queen, & my soul's mates .. partner .. the way I'm meant to be. I don't care what society thinks. Because society really needs work. I only carr what God the Creator thinks. And what the Angels .. the Bears He Created with my soul.. those to protect & love the unusual complex goofy wacky weirdo I am. Yeah, I'm too much for most people.

Guess what...

Good!!!!!

That means the people I let into my soul are gonna be few.. be special.. & He will show me the ones .. after all my stumbles.. I know this.

Yeah I think about finding my loves eyes across a crowded room.. usually because he's tall.. & well.. I'm 5'9" &.. I wear heels... but then.. I also have nicknames.. oh how I miss them. ..

[Typing is a drag like this!]

I love you . I miss you . I crave you .

I don't wanna be here anymore!

I want to be in your arms!

Whimpering sob moan.

God.. help me.. please!?!????????

I work & await on my cliffside bridge...

~True love never dies & true love always waits.~

Your slumping tired kat. Listening

Your complex quirky warrior queen daughter.

~Tijgeress kat Phoenix.✝️🌺����🐯🤓⚓🙏🙇‍♀️⛓⌚💡⚡🌠🗝🔱⚜💝🐻🦌🧩♠️♾🎯🌎🧭🕯

M.11.28.2022 3.56pm est.

[tender-rosiey]

I don’t know if you’ve done this before so ignore this if you have, but could I have some dazai and akutagawa jealousy headcanons please? btw, happy 700+

❥ Dazai and Akutagawa when jealous

ᴀ/ɴ: AHAHA I AM FINALLY BACK AND POSTED SOMETHING and I am so sorry that this is late. hope you like it, luv; thanks 💕

DAZAI OSAMU

Let’s see

Dazai would be pretty secretive or good at hiding it when he is jealous out in the public

Like let’s say for example, someone is hitting on you or trying to take too much of your attention

Then dazai will way too cheerfully join the conversation, placing an arm around your waist pulling you close to hint that you are taken

In addition to staring coldly at them to hint obviously that they are not wanted around you and are not welcomed

And so after the cheerful approach towards the person hitting on you, when you both come back he is asserting and making the idea that you belong to him even more clear but to you

Like he will be SUPER clingy and keep cuddling you like a big ass koala 🐨

“Babyyyyyyyy, just put attention to me please!”

“Osamu, you are ON me, what more attention do you want?”

“I don’t know maybe start kissing me and telling me how I am the best boyfriend you ever had and probably the only you will ever have and that you love me??”

He says it like it’s very very obvious like dude, it’s okay to be petty but calm down we have more than y/n for everybody in here

Your y/n probably has a lover in another universe and he calls her sweet little sugar boo cakes and kisses her

You are the only one

For example I have more than 4 different husbands, they book registrations for my time though

Anyways this isn’t about me (nothing is about me 🤧 *dramatic hand on forehead*)

Dazai lives up to his famous nickname in this blog which is:

🪅✨⁉️ 𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑙𝑒 𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑡 ⁉️✨🪅

That happens by the fact that I do feel, that 200% he will make a big ass scene when he feels like letting the inner little shit out and not bothering to hide it, and just throw himself on you yeah just throw and basically cover you with himself

“OH MY BEAUTIFUL LOVE! I CANT BELIEVE PEOPLE ARE SO BLIND NOT SEE OUR BLINDING LOVE AS WE ARE SITTING HERE BEING LOST IN EACH OTHER’S EMBRACE! THEY MUST BE LOST IN THE WORLD OF JEALOUSY AND ENVY OF OUR RELATIONSHIP!!”

Will then check slyly, while being scolded by you about how he made too much of a scene and made everyone cringe away, if the asshole who was checking you out is gone while dazai is just smiling at his defeated face

Dazai Osamu will fight a bitch for you if it leads to it and is absolutely necessary

Like throw hands fight a bitch

Most of the time he will just settle for shit talking whoever is with you, even if it’s a friend (petty bitch)

Because in his words, he said and I quote:

“I am your lover,boyfriend, husband, and all in between; you are O B L I G A T E D to LOVE ME like a normal lover and show me ATTENTION instead of…t h a t person over there.”

Once again, a very very petty bich

He said it with such a disgusted face like baby, they just patted their shoulder

They didn’t ask for their hand in marriage and make them pregnant with 12 of theirs kids, you loser

AKUTAGAWA RYUUNOSUKE

Truth be told

Sometimes akutagawa lowkey scares me

Like guys do you see his look??

anyhoot 🦉

When he gets jealous, it’s quite…interesting

You basically have THE scary dog privileges so I genuinely have no idea who in their right mind would get in 2 meters near from you let alone hit on you even in an imaginary headcanons post

They must’ve drank something pretty strong or just don’t value their life or maybe they hung out with dazai a little too much

Either ways they are throwing their lives away by even looking at you

Now look, akutagawa trusts you

Like a lot

He wouldn’t date you if he didn’t trust you like crazy

It’s just people are so y u c k

They don’t get the hint

They check out taken people like there isn’t a gazillion other obviously single hell there someone crying to their bestie about it beside them

But they just look at you

HIS perfect baby

HIS pretty baby

And so he gets jelly and they get the glare that would’ve killed them twice and burned them then burned their ashes and drowned them if looks could kill 🥰

It’s a win win situation :>

Meanwhile he is just glaring at them the whole time like “STAY AWAY STAY AWAY STAY AWAY STAY AWAY STAY AWAY STAY AWAY STAY AWAY STAY AWAY.”

And

he will be grumpy the rest of the day, literally the human representation of the emoji: >:€

Like yes I get it you are mad that they took 5 minutes from our alone time but you don’t have to ‘tch’ every time I love you?!

He is as petty as his mentor

Just an aggressive type of petty

Still he hugs you and kisses your forehead cause you don’t deserve to be treated badly just because stupid feelings like jealousy exist

Plus he knows you are hot asf and will get looks from those stupid idiots who look at you like you are the best thing in their life

And you are

But they don’t get to touch or look

And if you say you aren’t then shut up or I will kiss you

Back to our no-eyebrow lookin lover

He will probably fight a bitch for you

…okay maybe not fight just kill

—not probably just most definitely

Akutagawa is most definitely going to snap the neck of someone for you

E S P E C I A L L Y if their nasty ass hands touched you

Like no no no honey

You don’t touch what isn’t yours

And you definitely don’t touch someone who is uncomfortable with it

After successfully burying the body and getting rid of the evidence professionally like his mentor taught him (it’s dazai slander in my mind right now and I humbly apologize)

He will wash his hands and proceed to demand affection grumpily

“Y/N get over and cuddle me.”

“But ryuu I am cooking.”

“Food can wait; I want to cuddle.”

“It’s your favorite though.”

“Cuddles can wait; I want food.”

Let’s you play with Rashomon too so he can remind you that he is THE ONLY ONE who has him and that he loves you enough not to make him bite into your flesh

It’s true love, your honor ☺️

This is a clownery, why did my ice cream melt

The things I do for writing 🙄

copyright © 2020 tender-rosiey

do not copy or plagiarize or you will be reported

[thelovelyghostwriter]

KuraNeon sexy headcanons

Formed them with @anotherworldash. Please note that these are just headcanons for fun and with humour, nothing to be taken seriously. Also, if you dislike the Kurapika/Neon ship, please stop reading and respect my decision to ship this. You do you, I do me. 

And yes, I’m a kinky motherfucker. 

1) Kurapika and Neon are attracted to each other physically. Kurapika will be angry at himself for lusting over a woman who is a flesh collector, but that’s what makes it all the more better. Judge Frollo’s Hellfire could never. 

2) Kurapika has wet dreams of Neon. A LOT. He wakes up feeling frustrated because a) it was just a dream, b) the dream is over, c) him lusting over her when he dislikes her hobby. But his body can’t lie, she’s around his age and he finds her hot and cute. 

3) Both of them are virgins, so both are curious how sex is like.

4) Neon’s playful nature will make her want to seduce Kurapika, which will annoy him. She only wants to do it for fun. 

5) BUT what she never expected was that Kurapika will reciprocate it. His annoyance towards her playful attitude towards him will make her aroused and scared. 

6) The sex is a bit awkward at first, but surprisingly, Kurapika’s doing well for his first time since he’s been having a gazillion wet dreams with Neon prior to this. 

7) Kurapika’s eyes turn scarlet whenever they have sex. Duh. 

8) Neon loves to tease him, especially distracting him while he’s at work. Either in-person or through sending him nudes. He always says he’s annoyed with her bratty attitude. Neon likes it whenever he’s angry though. 

9) He will use her bratty attitude to tame her by fucking. 100% with spanking and bondage involved. Again, Neon likes it. 

10) Neon calls him Daddy, to which he denies that he likes it. But whenever she asks him whether she should stop calling him that nickname during sex, he doesn’t say anything. He obviously digs the nickname. Sorry not sorry, Mr Light Nostrade. You may be her Papa but Kurapika is her Daddy. Kurapika just went from the “Sir, I will protect her and get her home safely” bodyguard to “Your daughter calls me daddy too” real quick. 

11) No one really knows they fuck. Except for Melody. Melody bought a noise-cancelling headset so that she can have a peaceful night sleeping. She complains that this is above her pay grade. 

12) Kurapika rejects Neon’s proposal of shower sex. Not because he’s not feeling it but because he doesn’t want to show the true colours of his eyes and reveal his true identity.  

13) In situations where Neon does know he is from the Kurta clan, she likes positions that allows eye contact. She wants to see the colour of his eyes. Neon obviously hates doggy style because of this. 

14) Kurapika sometimes turns her over and she will whine about not liking the position because she wants to see his eyes. He doesn’t want to comply with her request, until she begs for it. 

15) He still sometimes don’t turn her over simply because he’s in the mood for doggy. 

16) Neon will get back at him for being a jerk by acting bratty and seductive in situations where he needs to mentally focus. Kurapika will get pissed and discipline her later on. Repeat this cycle. 

17) Kurapika doesn’t like it when Neon is throwing a tantrum. He thinks he’ll give her something better to scream about. Or better yet, stuff her mouth with something to shut her up.  

18) Neon always glances at the chains on Kurapika’s hand. We all know what she’s thinking. He says it’s not for her though, so they compensate with using her clothes. 

19) Neon likes to buy lingerie to wear for him. Kurapika thinks white and pink colour looks good on her. 

20) Kurapika sometimes would still feel frustrated that he’s fucking a flesh collector. Yet, his dislike of her hobby prompts him to fuck her harder. Perhaps he thinks giving her another type of flesh to collect is better than just killing or arresting her. 

21) If Neon requests, he will be gentle with her. Though it’s rare because they are too freaky to do some vanilla lovemaking. 

@anotherworldash Please add on if I missed anything out ahha. @senorita-jackalope, you can also add on. Thanks! 

Thoughts: Damn, after typing out the headcanons, this ship is HOTTTT. It’s so underrated aha. 

[choupichoups]

Press F (Instagram/College AU) Ch.15 (FINAL)

Lucas swears he’s the absolute master of undetected stalking. Or: Eliott is instagram famous and Lucas is the disaster gay who accidentally likes his post.

Epilogue will be posted soon! Thank you so much to everyone who’s supported this fic ♥

::::

Whoever thought of going to the skate park in this weather is down right insane. It was probably Basile. Yeah, it was most definitely Basile’s brilliant idea. 

And Lucas is a downright moron for agreeing to it. 

He hears Yann whoop loudly after Eliott does a successful trick— Lucas has no clue what it was even though his eyes have been glued on his boyfriend since they arrived. Eliott refuses to put his jacket back on, saying that he runs way too hot to be wearing it to the park, so Lucas finds himself clutching the jacket in between his arms, looking for the perfect opportunity to throw the damn thing over Eliott’s stubborn head. 

Because apparently this is his life now. Chasing after an errant boyfriend to protect him from getting a cold. 

“Eliott,” he calls out for the umpteenth time, feeling a brand new appreciation for his mother; this must’ve been how she felt like whenever he’d ignore the sound of her voice from the play structure way back when. “Eliott!” he repeats, louder now. 

Thankfully, they’re the only ones stupid enough to be there so Lucas doesn’t have to worry about any dirty looks thrown his way for causing such a ruckus. 

Eliott skates up to him eventually, grin wide and arms held out as if he hadn’t been ignoring Lucas’ voice for at least half an hour. Lucas dodges an attempt for a hug, huffing as he reaches around Eliott to place the jacket back over his shoulders— the slant of the shallow bowl Lucas is standing over thankfully makes up for their difference in height. 

He feels extra vindicated when Eliott is unsuccessful in trying to hide a sniffle. “I don’t care if it’s cramping your style,” Lucas says, tugging on the lapels of the jacket until Eliott’s properly covered in it. “You’re not going to wear just a shirt in negative degree weather.”

“It’s not in the negatives yet,” Eliott mumbles but obediently slides his arms into the jacket either way. A thoughtful look falls over his face the next second and then Lucas finds himself being subjected under an exaggerated pout, complete with sad eyes and hunched shoulders. “Actually you’re right, I am cold. Keep me warm?” 

Lucas stares at him with no ounce of pity. “Go do another trick then, I’m sure the adrenaline will warm you up.” 

“But Lucas,” Eliott whines, kicking his board up when it rolls down to jostle his ankles. “I’m too tired for that.” 

“Sounds like a you problem.” Lucas ducks down, hiding a smile behind his scarf, and moves away from Eliott’s grabby hands again. He hears Eliott huff out a laugh but looking up only has him catching an eyeful of Eliott’s soft gaze, pink lips upturned into a crooked smile. Lucas doesn’t realize he’s stopped blinking until his eyes start tearing up from a cold gush of wind. 

“It is a me problem.” With one hand in his jacket pocket and the other casually holding up his board, Eliott looks every bit the professional model he could be. Lucas tightens the hood thrown over his head and tries not to think about how he must look like some dweeby sock puppet and larva hybrid in comparison. “So hug me.” 

He shakes his head, his entire upper body moving with the act from how bundled up he is. 

Eliott tilts to the side, looking wholly amused. “Please, Lulu?”

Lucas lets out a grunt, hoping Eliott can see his eyes narrowing at the use of a nickname— how dare Eliott use Lucas’ weakness against him?

“Lu?”

He hesitates but stubbornly stands his ground.

“Bab—”

Lucas barely suppresses a squeak before throwing himself at Eliott, effectively shutting him up before he could do something as dumb as calling Lucas baby right in front of their rabid friends. Well, Yann’s still out on the giant bowl teaching Basile how to skate but Arthur is right there, head buried under a scarf and a winter jacket, but there nonetheless. 

Eliott has the gall to chuckle as he basks in the embrace— given under duress, thank you very much, but warm enough what with Lucas’ gazillion layers piled on one after the other. 

“You’re so—” Eliott’s voice is muffled from where his face is buried in Lucas’ shoulder. “Squishy.” He squeezes his arms tight as if to prove a point, like he’s squashing a teddy bear rather than a human being. Lucas feels that he’s in the right to smack his boyfriend upside the head, Eliott’s pitiful yelp notwithstanding. 

“That’s cause I dress for the weather unlike a certain idiot.” Standing on his toes makes him taller from where they’re at so Lucas moves his arms until they fall comfortably around the back of Eliott’s neck, preventing the wind from getting through the exposed skin there. He feels Eliott shiver before a smile is pressed into his neck and lets himself be used as a human heater. 

“If you skate with us, you wouldn’t be so cold.” 

Lucas knows that but he also resents that notion. “No thank you.”

“Does Lucas Lallemant not know how to skateboard?” 

“Does Eliott Demaury want another smack to the head?” 

Eliott laughs, starting to swing them side to side. “Just admit you can’t, Lucas.”

“Can so.” Lucas watches Basile fall on his butt for the thousandth time that day and winces in sympathy. Yeah, no, been there done that. There’s a soft rustling from under him and frankly, Eliott’s arms tightening around his waist should have been a clear warning, but Lucas doesn’t actually react to anything until Eliott hoists him up clear off the ground with a satisfied cackle. “Hey! Wait, what are you— Eliott?!” 

Lucas, rather afraid for his life, clings onto Eliott’s shoulders, screaming close mouthed when he hears Eliott drag his skateboard back by his feet. 

“We’re going for a ride.”

“No the fuck we are not, put me down right now!”

“Come on, just a little bit, it’s gonna be fun.”

“Falling and cracking my head open isn’t my idea of fun.” He squirms in Eliott’s grip, feeling kicking out in hopes of feeling the gravel back underneath them. “If you get on that board right now I swear you’re… you’re grounded.” 

That gets a delighted laugh out of Eliott. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. Time out too.”

“Who are you, my mother?”

“No, but I’ll tell my mother that you attempted my murder this very day if you don’t put me down.” 

Grumbling protests aside, Eliott’s pretty quick in relenting after that. He walks the both of them up and out of the ramp and only then does Lucas’ heart stop fucking palpitating. God, he’s going to get a heart attack from one of Eliott’s stunts one day. 

Eliott does bring his board up with them, however, and Lucas hears the scratch of its wheels as he kicks it up the pavement. To his credit, Eliott puts him down as per demanded, but the unsteady surface below his feet clues him in that his asshole boyfriend didn’t quite place him on the ground. 

Thankfully, being best friends with Yann ‘Skater Boy’ Cazas does come with perks; Lucas hadn’t been lying about knowing how to ride a stupid skateboard. 

“I’m sorry, please don’t make your mom call the cops on me,” Eliott apologizes, leaning close to steal a swift kiss from Lucas’ cheek and of course Lucas readily forgives him because he’s apparently weak against cute boys who rightfully fear his mama. Very, very weak. 

He pretends to think about it though, biting back a grin as he slides his hands down to fold his fingers between Eliott’s— he’s standing all wrong on the skateboard and his balance is off so he keeps a tight grip on their connected hands to prevent any accidental wipe outs. “Hmmm, I don’t know…”

“Please. It’ll be awkward if my dad has to visit my place only to arrest me.”

Lucas pauses at that, wobbling on the board enough to probably fall over if it weren’t for Eliott’s steadying hands. “Uh, your dad’s a cop?” 

Whatever lighthearted expression had been on Eliott’s face is gone now, which is unfortunate really. Lucas and his dweeby hybrid self had been enjoying it. He knows there’s probably a conversation to be had there somewhere. Just— preferably not in this minute.

But Eliott simply nods, his calculating look melting away into a playful smile. “I let that one slip during a live once, you don’t remember?” 

And thank god for sensitive boyfriends. Lucas takes the smooth misdirection and runs with it. “Alright, let me clear this up.” He pauses for maximum dramatic effect. “Contrary to popular belief, I have not seen every single one of your posts and stories and lives. Okay, maybe I’ve seen all of your posts but I swear I’ve only seen your live once.”

“Uh huh.” 

“It’s true!” Lucas tugs on their hands, rolling himself closer to Eliott that way. He digs his chin into Eliott’s chest, looking up into those dreamy grey eyes. 

He can’t believe he just unironically used the word dreamy.

“Okay, so you’re a fake fan then.” Eliott’s smile is too soft to back up his teasing. 

Lucas straightens up, lifts his heels that minuscule bit until his lips are level with Eliott’s. “Sorry this fake fan tricked you.” 

Eliott takes it upon himself to brush the tip of their noses together, the perfect balance of gentle and fleeting that has Lucas tilting up for more. “And how is this fake fan planning to apologize?” 

Lucas huffs out a chuckle, shaking his head before slotting their lips into a small kiss. “How’s that?”

“Mm, no, do it again maybe.” 

There’s a sharp flapping sound by their feet and it distracts Lucas enough to delay the second kiss he’d been planning to deliver. He looks down only to see Arthur staring up at them, phone in hand, evidently unimpressed. Lucas had honestly forgotten about him. 

“Do you guys mind?” Arthur gesticulates between the three of them, the vague hand movements has his jacket sleeves flopping about and hitting the pavement. Lucas thinks he gets the gist of what he’s trying to say. Doesn’t mean he cares all that much though. 

“No we don’t mind, actually.” Eliott retaliates, all cheeky and faux oblivious. Lucas bursts out laughing. 

“Just like, take ten steps away from me.” Arthur sits up, shooing them away with one hand. “If I take off my glasses I won’t be able to see how loud you guys are being.” 

It’s a testament to how Lucas is trying his best shot at maturity when he doesn’t roll his eyes immediately. 

“He’s so bold.”

“It’s okay, Imane likes him back.”

“Yeah but I mean, isn’t it a bit intimidating crushing on your best friend’s younger sibling?” 

Lucas shrugs, head perched on Eliott’s shoulder as he absently looks down at Eliott’s phone, where Emir’s cataloguing exactly why he needs to be the most handsome guy at the party later so that Imane would pay attention to him. “Not if it’s Abe. He’s super nice and Emir’s a good guy too so I don’t see why they’d have a problem with it.” 

Eliott takes a moment to respond to Emir, snorting at the immediate barrage of responses he gets. “Still though, what if things go wrong? It’s scary.” 

“Shit happens.” Lucas shifts until he’s able to lay down on Eliott’s lap instead. “So you mean if Lucas 324 is Eliott 324’s best friend’s brother, he wouldn’t go for it? Cause it’s scary?”

The rapid texting above him stops, and Lucas peeks one eye open to watch the disapproving frown on Eliott’s face. “Well if that’s the case, then Eliott 324 better step up.” 

Lucas scoffs, “I’m sure every version of you is charming and perfect and ideal.”

“I can’t tell if that’s sarcasm but thank you either way.” He leans down and rains kisses all over Lucas’ face until a giggling Lucas pushes him away, insisting that his words are a hundred percent sincere. “You have way too much faith in me and my alternate selves. For all we know, Eliott 324 is a massive jerk.” 

“That’s tragic.” Lucas tugs on Eliott’s hand until he has it buried in his hair, fingers carding through the strands in soothing motions. Eliott laughs at his content sigh but he doesn’t care about the inevitable cat jokes when he’s the one who’s really winning here. “Lucas 324 doesn’t like jerks.”

“Very tragic.”

The sound of shoes hitting the metal staircase is loud in the empty building. The footsteps gain in volume the closer they approach, but Lucas doesn’t bother to open his eyes. Doesn’t move even when he hears the fire exit door unlatch with Yann’s familiar laugh following after. 

“There you are!”

“Congratulations,” Lucas says from where he’s still laying down. “You found us.”

“Shut up,” Yann grumps, leaning his board against the wall before plopping onto the floor beside him and Eliott. “Bas and Arthur are getting food, do you guys want anything?” 

Lucas only has enough energy to emit an incoherent groan, rolling over to grab his phone from where it had fallen on Eliott’s other side earlier. “Nah, we have to get going to see mama soon.” 

“Wait, Eliott’s going with you? To see her?” 

He nods, sending off a text confirming with Marie and his mom what time they want them there. “We have to bring Champ back to Marie and mama’s there with her so.” 

When Lucas turns back around, Yann’s wiggling his brows at Eliott. That combined with the giant grin splitting his face is starting to look more disturbing the longer Lucas looks at him. 

Eliott seems to share the sentiment, and he starts laughing a few seconds into their little stare off. “What?” 

“Nothing man, just glad you guys are at meet the parents level.” 

Lucas rolls his eyes, kicking at his best friend’s heel once before resting his ankle on top of Yann’s. “It’s just a casual supper thing.” 

“Uh huh.” 

“Shut your face.”

And because he’s dumb, Yann mimes putting a hand over his face, expression blank when he next uncovers it. Lucas throws a balled up thread he’d ripped off of his jeans earlier and sneaks a glance up at Eliott. They make eye contact, what with Eliott already looking down at Lucas with a large, amused smile.

“Let’s head out then?” Eliott says, then turns to address Yann, “we’ll walk with you to where Arthur and Bas went, don’t worry, can’t have you being all lonely now.” 

“Thanks, you’re so nice, Lucas would never.” Yann dodges another kick to his leg. 

“I thought I told you to shut your face?” Lucas lazily hauls himself off the floor, dusting his pants a bit before turning a confused look at Eliott when he notices him pull out a leather jacket from his backpack. “Why do you have that in there?”

Eliott eyes him like Lucas is the one acting strange. “Babe, I have to look good when we get there, first impressions are important.” 

Lucas can feel his cheeks heating up. He can also practically feel Yann’s googly eyes at the back of his head and the internal screeching reverberating through their shared braincell so he’s resolutely not looking back in that direction. At least Arthur and Basile aren’t present. 

He lets the nickname slip, though, choosing to unwind the scarf around him to wrap Eliott up in it instead. If his boyfriend insists on being unreasonable then Lucas would just have to take care of the missed details. 

The missed detail here being the fact that it’s way too fucking cold for a leather jacket, hot as it may look on Eliott. 

“Mama’s not gonna care if you look like a Calvin Klein model, Eliott.” Oh yes she will. Lucas would probably have to endure a few hours of brow raising and elbow nudging. But Eliott doesn’t need to know that. “But if you’re putting that on then you’re also wearing this scarf and that’s final, mister.” 

Eliott snickers, tugging the scarf off his neck and throwing it around Lucas before pushing the leather jacket back inside his backpack. “Okay, okay, fine, I will. And I’ll change later so it doesn’t get too cold. Happy?” 

Lucas grumpily ducks his head down into his scarf until only his narrowing eyes are visible. “Satisfactory.” 

“You know you guys act like a married couple, right?” Yann pipes up, hugging his skateboard to his chest as he leans back against the exit door.

Lucas shoves the door open and watches Yann tumble backwards with a crash. 

Lucas feels like he’s been holding his breath throughout the entire trip to Marie’s house. He’s not nervous, no, he can’t imagine his mother disliking a single thing about Eliott. But it’s not like he’s had a golden track record of significant others to introduce to his mother so he doesn’t know how these things are supposed to go. Casual as he convinces himself this whole thing is, nothing about it feels all that casual to him.

“You look like you’re about to launch yourself into outer space.” Eliott places a hand on the low of his back once they reach Marie’s front porch, thumb brushing back and forth. “I’m supposed to be the nervous one here.” 

“I’m fine,” Lucas squeaks out, highly unconvincing. At least Eliott finds it hilarious so maybe he wouldn’t be a stuttering mess. 

Marie opens the door on the second knock and immediately takes a wiggling Champ into her arms. “Come on in, boys!” She steps back to open the door wider. “Hello my little Champagne, oh I missed you too, I missed you… just leave your shoes anywhere you can find. Lorraine’s in the kitchen,” she whispers the last part with a wink towards Eliott before walking off. 

Lucas laughs a little, easing up under Marie’s presence. He waits for Eliott by the door and notices how his boyfriend’s moving slower than usual, evidently delaying the actual first meeting part of the meeting. He holds out his hand before it gets too ridiculous. 

“She’ll love you,” he says, raising his hand higher when Eliott looks up at him like a deer in the headlights. “Come on.”

And he’s right. Of course he’s right. 

His mama folds Eliott into a warm embrace the moment they’ve exchanged names, endeared as Eliott does stutter through the introductions. 

“He’s handsome,” she says to Lucas when they pass each other in the living room. And there goes the elbow nudging Lucas had predicted earlier. “Very handsome.”

“I know, mama.” He rolls his eyes, sitting on the piano bench where Champ is napping under. Eliott and Marie are deep in conversation as she shows him a photobook of her family back in Jamaica so Lucas occupies himself with the piano, quietly hitting a few keys while his eyes roam over the top for a music book. 

What he finds instead are papers with his mama and papa’s names on them. 

He snatches them off the top of the piano, skimming through the documents to try and inch out what they’re for as quickly as possible. A hand on his shoulder stops his frantic reading and Lucas looks up at his mom with eyes wide in question. 

“It’s not about the transfer if that’s what you’re thinking.” She sits on the bench beside him and flips the papers until she settles on a page with big letters jumping out from the rest. It goes without question now. 

Application (Divorce)

Divorce Order 

When Lucas remains silent, she takes the papers away from his hands and puts them back where he found them. “I think it’s time, don’t you? I brought it over for Marie to read through so…”  

Lucas still doesn’t say anything but he manages a small smile in her direction before tucking her hands in between both of his. They sit there for a bit, just looking at each other, all teary and holding hands. Lucas thinks that yeah, they really are mother and son, getting all sappy at inconvenient times of the day. 

That’s before she laughs again, clear and carefree, and untangles their hands to play a familiar tune on the piano. She glances up at Lucas with a daring smile, one eyebrow raising as if in challenge. 

Lucas bristles, sitting up properly to prove that yes, he can still give her a run for her money. He takes a deep breath, fingers landing soft on the smooth ivory, letting his hands familiarize themselves with the instrument— it’s been a long, long time since he's last played. But here, sitting beside the woman who’s patiently taught him one echoing tune at a time, there’s no doubt in Lucas’ mind that he could never forget a single piece they’ve played together. 

And it feels so good to be doing this again that it almost pushes him over the edge, almost has him straight up crying. Only almost though. 

There’s complete silence in the living room only seconds after they start, and Lucas’ skin prickles at the feeling of eyes on his back. He doesn’t let it distract him, focused on hitting the correct notes as four hands dance around the length of the piano. 

Riopy’s I love you has always been his mama’s favourite. She’d altered the tune slightly so that both her and Lucas could play it together and for him, right now, it’s never sounded better.

Later, watching Eliott enthusiastically converse with his mama about possibly joining the culinary classes she’s attending (thank god), Lucas thinks it only makes sense for Eliott to be present the moment Lucas plays that particular piece for the first time in years. 

They head out with only a few minutes to spare before the bus to Eliott’s apartment arrives. Both of their group chats are blown up with reminders that they’re all supposed to wear costumes to the party, with explicit mentions of how Eliott and Lucas are specifically not allowed to ditch the party until at least two hours into it. 

“What was that song you guys played?” Eliott asks as they settle into the back seats, huddled together for warmth. 

Lucas hides his face inside the fabric of his hood. “I don’t remember,” he says, biting his lip as he wills for the blush to die down. Maybe they should’ve played one of Chopin’s pieces instead. “I’ll look it up later.” 

Yeah. Much, much later. 

Abe had met up with them at Eliott’s so they could walk to the party together. It was apparently the only way to ensure that Eliott doesn’t cancel at the last minute. He’d complained all the way through about being left out and had even called Idris so they could ‘share their experiences as a third wheel’. 

His actions are made all the more ridiculous considering Abe is wearing a fucking banana suit to the party. 

Lucas secretly thinks that he wouldn’t have minded staying in, just him and Eliott on the couch with a movie and some snacks. 

But now he’s standing by the walls at this party, alone with the one drink he’s been nursing since the start, watching his friends jump around on the dance floor as the strobe lights cut through the dark to illuminate the wide smiles they share. 

It’s not that he’s bored. He’s just a little tired from the day he’s had and he could probably only dance as rigorously as everyone else for about five minutes before throwing the towel in. God, he’s getting old. 

Eyes searching, it doesn’t take very long for him to spot Eliott— he stands out after all. Tall and handsome even in a simple hoodie, messy head of hair bobbing along to the bass of the music. Eliott’s been swept into conversation by many, many people all night long and of course his boyfriend’s too sweet to snub them all. It seems like everyone’s constantly vying for his attention, just like that first party they’d attended together, and Lucas is still a little baffled witnessing it. He’s very quickly understanding why Eliott isn’t too fond of attending parties if this is how they always go for him. 

A loud whoop from the dance floor steals his attention and Lucas laughs at the sight of Basile flailing around in a dance battle against Abe of all people. It’s really not a good look to lose a dance battle against a walking banana. But Abe’s unfortunately just that good. 

Imane and Alexia are on the floor, collapsed in laughter. Beside them, Manon and Adam start clapping and cheering when Yann jumps to Basile’s rescue, flailing into a more acceptable dance routine that has Abe jokingly backing off, pulling Idris and Omar into the center of the circle for their turn at the dance off. Daphne is making wide eyes at Emir, poking him in the ribs hard enough to have him flinching closer to where Imane is slowly regaining her wits. Emma is at the bar struggling to balance a tray of drinks in her hands. He certainly hopes those are for the whole group rather than for her alone. 

Lucas hides what he knows must be another dumb smile on his face, watching his friends and Eliott’s friends interact like they’ve always been a huge messy group of idiots rather than only having met each other recently. Never did he allow himself to imagine that his and Eliott’s lives would merge in this way.

“What’s a beautiful guy like you doing here all alone?” Eliott whispers in his ear and Lucas is so startled he almost spills his drink on the both of them. 

But he recovers quickly, snorting at Eliott’s words. “I’m not alone, actually.” 

“Oh. No?” Eliott’s leaning on the wall beside him now, and Lucas thinks he’s the beautiful one here, so beautiful even the lights are shy as they strike flitting colours over his hair, his cheeks, his radiant eyes, his smiling lips.

“Mhm, I have boyfriend but he keeps ditching me for other people. You’ve probably seen him around.”

“Sounds like a terrible boyfriend,” Eliott says, “I suggest you break up with him and run away with me.” 

“What, right now?” Lucas plays along, discarding his drink on the first steady surface he finds. “I don’t know, he’s kinda cute.” 

“I’m cuter.”

Lucas laughs at that, hands anchoring themselves on Eliott’s shoulder as he stands on the tips of his toes. “I can’t see you clearly.” 

Eliott leans down to meet him halfway, catching his lips in a sweet kiss. Literally. He tastes like Fruitopia and somehow, that’s a funny enough thought to have Lucas melting into a heap of giggles. He feels Eliott’s amused huff against his hair before Lucas is being dragged back up, breath catching into a deeper kiss, and all thoughts of fruity drinks are quickly gone from his mind.

Warm hands insistently pull him off the wall and into Eliott’s chest, but it isn’t a hard feat anyway— it’s not like Lucas has any plans to fight against it. He brings his own hands up, sliding from shoulder to neck to the back of Eliott’s head where clumsy fingers tangle themselves into the soft strands they find there. He pulls away soon after, heartbeat off rhythm and lungs begging. His next inhale is an intoxicating mix of cologne and alcohol and Eliott. 

“Can you see me now?” 

Lucas smiles, hands moving to rest on either side of Eliott’s cheeks. Even in the dark, he’s the most precious thing Lucas has ever seen. “I see you.” 

And maybe, just maybe, Lucas number 1 did alright in this universe after all. 

[diyunho]

The Joker x Reader -”On Cloud Nine”

The Clown Prince of Crime died protecting his girlfriend and now The Afterlife Assessment Bureau doesn’t know what to do with him: although J’s actions didn’t change the outcome, it scored major points in his chart and they have to recalculate the final score. Until that happens, The Joker was allowed to wait on the Lower Clouds right below The Higher Clouds where the woman he tried to save is spending eternity.

“Hey lady!” you hear as you watch the beautiful blue skies from your fluffy cloud. ”Hey!”

Y/N looks towards the source of the noise only to notice this strange man with green locks waving at her from the cloud below.

“Yes?”

“Where are we?” the guy asks, having a hard time processing what’s happening to him.

The two don’t recognize each other: once you’re dead, you’ll have no memory of your past; they definitely don’t recall being together while they were alive.

“Not sure, but it’s beautiful,” you sigh and he huffs, annoyed.

“Ugh, it’s boring. Nothing to do besides sitting down and analyze… whatever the hell this is!” J flares his arms around as a voice coming from everywhere echoes in the stillness:

“Please mind your language, sir!”

“Who said that?!” The Joker tries to find the person that just admonished him and there’s no other soul besides the woman he’s having a conversation with.

“I don’t know,” you lift your shoulder up, intrigued. “Kind of weird,” you dangle your feet above the abyss, totally unconcerned about the invisible presence. “What is that?” you point at the sketchbook he’s holding.

“My drawings,” The King of Gotham sulks, restarting to doodle on the almost blank page.

“Can I see?” you curiously inquire.

J bites the pencil and frees his hands, then shows you his current masterpiece.

“Could you hold it higher?” you squint your eyes. “Higher!!”

The expression on your face demonstrates you can’t perceive too much.

“Why don’t you come over?” the man proposes and your stalling makes him snicker: “Don’t worry, I’ll catch you.”

“Hmmm…” you debate on the offer not because you’re afraid of a little jump but because you’re uncertain it’s worth the trouble.

“C’mon!” The Joker wants to get up and help yet Y/N is already hopping down on his cloud: she’s always been independent, one of the qualities he secretly liked about her before they both unexpectedly kicked the bucket. “Nice landing!” J chuckles as you take a sit by him, the artist reprising his work. “What do you think?” he proudly boasts.

You glimpse at the clumsy lines depicting an apparent landscape filled with pumpkins and can’t hold in a smile.

“I think there’s a lot of potential hidden behind the primitive naivety of this little gem,” you give him your honest judgement and J scoffs, intrigued.

“Primitive?!”

“I like your style,” you sweetly reply since you realize you shouldn’t have blurred out the comment; he might be offended by your genuine critique. “The pumpkins are super cute,” you add in order to divert his attention.

“I like pumpkins,” The Joker growls. 

“Me too,” you continue. “That would be an adorable nickname for someone, don’t you think?”

“I suppose,” he shakes his head and mentions: “Why are you staring at me? Do I have something in my teeth?”

“They’re silver,” you bring your face closer to his, puzzled to discern the detail.

“Are they?!” The King touches his mouth, appalled.

“Yes, but it suits you,” the sincere tone calms down his frantic movement.

“Am I ugly?!” his ego emerges even beyond the grave and Y/N has the perfect answer:

“No, you’re handsome in a sort of eerie way.”

J frowns, suspicious.

“So I look creepy?!”

“You don’t look creepy to me,” you candidly emphasize. “In my humble opinion, you’re attractive.”

He straightens his back, pleased at the statement and your rosy cheeks give him a boost of confidence.

“Are you going to ...e-hem…” you cough, flustered at the stupid confession, “…draw another pumpkin over here?” your finger taps on the corner of the paper.

“Might as well,” J agrees and you have no clue that what he’s doing is basically thanks to you.

God knows how much you encouraged his practically nonexistent skills just to keep him away from problems he created for himself and others! You were actually his number one fan and to be honest his only fan: as long as The Clown Prince of Crime was immersed in his unique hobby, it meant Gotham and its citizens were safe.

The Penthouse was filled with The Joker’s phenomenal paintings and sketches, extravagantly framed by yours truly to overcompensate the lack of substantial talent.

“Ma’am, please return to your cloud!” the voice you heard earlier resonates all around once more.

“Why?” you glare left and right, annoyed you can’t see anybody.

“You belong on The Higher Clouds,” the elusive response doesn’t enlighten the mystery. “Hold on, we’re sending our representative over!”

After a few seconds Y/N and the former King distinguish an individual dressed in a black suit carefully jumping from cloud to cloud, steadily approaching his objective.

“Apologies for the delay,” he addresses the stunned couple once in The Joker’s space. “Sir, we had to compile a lot of paperwork for you,” the guy flips pages of a thick file, annoyed. “After adding, subtracting, multiplying and dividing your points, turned out your final score is still a negative number.”

“Huh?!” J puckers his lips, confused.

“It seems you were a very bad person, sir; did a lot of despicable things and dying while protecting the girl you loved doesn’t mean diddly squat in the end!”

“Awww,” you gush at the revelation. “That’s so romantic,” you whisper and the man bends over, completely overwhelmed:

“Ma’am, allow me the honor of shaking your hand,” the agent grabs your fingers, softly squeezing them. “You are a true legend and we are forever indebted to your greatness: you put up with him and saved numerous lives also,” he gestures towards The Joker and you gasp, finally understanding the bigger picture.

“He died…for me?!”

“I died for her?!” the awkward pair asks in the same time.

“Yeah, no big deal. You were killed anyway and I’m so, so sorry for that,” the emissary extends his regrets to the woman he admires, entirely disregarding The Joker’s sacrifice.

“No big deal??!!” the latest shouts. “Dying for someone is no big deal?! How the fuck am I still in the negative?!!”

“Language!!!!!!” the omnipresent voice surfaces again.

“WHO.IS.THAT?!” Y/N gets vexed at the multiple invisible interruptions.

“Steve Rogers,” the representative notifies. “He’s in charge of The Profanity Control Department.”

“Who?!” J crinkles his nose, fed up with the messy situation.

“It’s not important,” the agent cuts him off. “What’s important sir is that you can’t be here; we have to move you.”

“Move me?! Where?”

“Yes, where are you taking him?” you quiz the black suited guardian.

“Far away, unless…”

“Unless what?” J crabbily interrogates.  

“Unless someone is willing to transfer their points to you, sir. It hasn’t been done in centuries though; lots of bureaucracy involved and frankly, if I may: why would anybody donate their hard earned credits to you??!!”

The Clown is scandalized at the brutal affirmation while Y/N has a magnificent idea:

“How many points do I have?”

“Mmmmm…,” the man flips more pages and finds the information: “Ten gazillions.”

“How many does he need?”

“Three gazillions.”

“Oh,” you cheerfully clap your hands. “I have plenty so I’ll donate my credits to him.”

“Nah, you don’t want to do that,” the man shrieks, already unhappy with the perspective of putting in overtime for this project. “We’re out of clouds; we’ll have to make more and that takes forever.”

“There are plenty of empty clouds around!” The Joker barks.

“Not empty. They are inhabited by others but you can’t see them: you can only see the people you are connected with, true love type of deal,” the emissary indifferently blurs out.

“So…that’s why I can only see him and he can only see me?!” Y/N’s burning, red face matches J’s stellar entitled smirk after the astonishing revelation.

“Precisely,” the flat tone prompts The King’s logical question:

“Then why can’t I stay on this cloud?”  

“The Lower Clouds are similar to a waiting room; we can’t have them occupied for long periods of time.”

“I’ll share my cloud with him!” you firmly suggest as the emissary is panicking:

“That means more paperwork!! We usually don’t have two residents spending eternity on the same cloud.”

“Make it happen!” J commands. “The lady wants to give me her points and share her cloud. You can’t say no, you said it yourself: she’s a legend!” he preys on the guy’s hesitation.

“I would really appreciate your help,” your disarming smile gives the guardian a nudge in the proper direction.

“Of…of course ma’am,” he stutters because how can one say no to a legend?!

And you surely count on it.

“I have to stipulate a reason for all this, what should I write on the formulary? In a simple sentence, it needs to be specific and concise: why are you gifting him credits and share your personal area?”

Your brain slots are hollow yet there’s one motive:

“I like his drawings.”

The impeccable suit ogles J’s silly scribbling, muttering under his breath:

“Another Picasso…” then louder:

“I’ll do the paperwork; for now, please vacate the premises and go on the Upper Cloud; we have new arrivals that require the Lower Clouds,” he exhales and starts leaping away, leaving you and The Joker behind.

Your cloud descends so you both can step on it and then floats higher in the air again.

Y/N gazes at the stranger in silence, until he breaks the shell:

“Thank you for your generosity, Miss…” J sniffles, realizing an important detail is absent from the whole dialogue. “What’s your name?”

“…I don’t know…” you regretfully answer. “I can’t remember…”

The Joker scratches his chin with a brilliant solution on the horizon:

“You said Pumpkin would be an adorable moniker for someone. Do you mind if I call you Pumpkin?”

“No, not at all,” you gladly accept his proposition. “And you’re welcome, I had so many credits, might as well use them. I have to thank you too for dying for me, Mister… What’s your name?”

“Bits me; I can’t recollect.”

Y/N pouts, upset she doesn’t have a name when a genius recommendation escapes her lips:

“You know… you have this small “J” letter tattoo under your left eye…” you gently poke it and he feels a sudden warmth taking over his body. “Is it ok if I call you J?”

“U-hum,” the hypnotized King gazes at the woman in front of him. “So I have tattoos on my face?”

“Yes, a few: a tiny star and a big one on your forehead that spells ‘Damaged’. And playing cards on your neck…” you describe his ink, mesmerized.

“Do they make me look horrible?”

“You don’t look horrible to me,” you praise and J inflates his chest at the declaration; oh boy, you definitely have a way with words.

“Thank you Pumpkin,” the flirtatious Clown winks and you play with the hem of your shirt, about to burst out with delight. 

“You’re welcome… J.”

“Oh my God!” The Joker snaps out of it since the artist in him is begging for attention:  “The sunset’s gorgeous! I have to sketch this!”

He sits down on the cloud and you scoot over until your thighs touch, interested in his new project.

“Your cloud is a better quality than the one I was on,” he bounces on the white, velvety texture. “It will certainly improve my technique!”

“Absolutely!” you enthusiastically exclaim, determined to assist no matter what.

Heaven knows your new friend J evidently requires steady guidance regarding his hobby: he’s no Picasso yet, but with a legend’s help he might eventually get there.  

Also read: MASTERLIST

You can follow me on Ao3 and Wattpad under the same blog name: DiYunho.

[noelacciari]

alright this is kinda bad but I'm gonna ask anyway. so I'm a new/casual hockey fan and this girl I'm friends w is super into hockey and I'm kinda having to bluff my way through convos rn so could you give me a basic summary of the roster and stuff pls :)))

okay babe, so this is how we’re gonna set this up for you… personality quiz style. (also wait I’m assuming you mean Bruins so. im very sorry if this was about another team lol)

Step 1: pick your star

- Do you strive for perfection? Do you look for stability in a relationship? Can you appreciate a good beard? Do you need a perfect man to project all your feelings regarding men onto and then you never have to even look at another man in real life? Then Patrice Bergeron is the guy for you. He’s perfect. Like legit. Has been nominated for the Selke Award (best defensive forward) approximately a gazillion times, eventually they’re going to change it to The Bergy. Gorgeous play maker, dominate on the face-off circle. Quiet leader in the room. A pillar of the Boston community. The only person who can tame Marchand (we’ll get to him later). Every person in New England is AT LEAST 30% in love with him, regardless of sexual orientation. (I’m not even kidding). Future Hall of Famer. Without a doubt. (Forward (Center), #37, first line)

- Do you enjoy carbs? How about charming smiles? Do you enjoy men who toe the lines of fashion? Do you like a show, flashy lights and stunning tricks? Do you like people who make you smile, no matter how bad your day is? Then David Pastrnak is your man. Better know as Pasta (said with a deep Boston accent), he’s been tearing up the ice from the moment he arrived in TD Garden. A member of the Best Top Line in the League (alongside Bergeron - and that other guy who we will get to later). His goals are always absolutely nasty, just. Sexy, sexy hockey. Off the ice he’s sunshine personified, known for his chipped tooth smile, wearing checked suits and floral shirt, and just being generally the best. (Forward (winger), #88, first line)

- Are human sized chipmunks something you think would be pretty cool? How do you feel about Long Island? Would you think it’s funny if a guy who was a star player on a Boston team dated the daughter of a Pittsburgh coach? Do you think it’s even funnier if a guy who tweeted “I hate the Bruins” then proceeds to get drafted by them? Then Charlie McAvoy is your star d-man. At the ripe old age of 21, Long Island native Charlie McAvoy already carries a huge chunk of responsibility on the Bruins defense core. A future leader for the team (captain. imo), Charlie puts up incredible minutes, and is the perfect complement to his d-partner Zdeno Chara (we’ll get to him too). Also known as Cheeks (on tumblr) or Mac (by his teammates), Charlie isn’t afraid to throw his weight around on the ice, and he looks good doing it. Dude is a Bonafide Stallion. (Defense, #73, 1st Pair)

Step 2: Pick your Dad

- Are you vegetarian? How do you feel about EXTREMELY tall men wearing easter bunny onesies? Do you prefer to bike to work instead of taking the train? what about pigeons? If you consider pigeons friends, then Zdeno Chara is your new dad! (Boogie Woogie Woogie). You know how Bruins fans like to say - Don’t Poke The Bear? Well Big Zee is that hypothetical bear. Our beloved captain and father earned himself quite the reputation on the ice, known for his hard AF slap shots and even harder punches. Clocking in at 6′9″ and 250lbs, Zad is still a beast at 42 years old - and he apparently has no plans to retire. While his age doesn’t appear to be slowing him down on the ice, Zee has shown his softer side off the ice with his inspirational and extremely cute Instagram. He came into Boston in 2006 and was named Captain upon signing, and has forever changed the culture of the Boston Bruins. Chara facilitates an inclusive but hard working locker room, and his legacy will live on in Boston long after his retirement. (Defense, #33, first pair)

- Are you a dog person? Also are you American? Those are really the only 2 qualifications you need to chose David Backes as your dad. Although some of us older folks like me (at the stunningly old, reaching retirement age of 26) might consider Backes to be more of a daddy, the majority of Bruins tumblr view him as their Dad. Common nicknames include Dadkes and Papa, and his effect on the team after being brought back into the line-up during the playoffs has endeared him to fans. While his deal is… not great (he’s expensive!!) and he hasn’t performed up to how much money he’s paid, it’s clear that he’s a leader on the team. The young guys look up to him, and the older guys respect him, and that’s what we’s appreciates ‘bout him. Also. He LOVES animals. Backes and his wife Kelly (who have known each other since kindergarten how cute is that shit) have their own charity that helps animals!! (Forward (Winger/Center), #42, currently 2nd line)

- Were you really into magic as a kid (or currently)? Have you always gravitated to your one friend’s dad who was super quiet but super smart and taught you how to play chess at that cookout one time? Then your new dad is David Krejci! Sometimes called The Wizard, Krejci is known to make magic happen on the ice. Between no-look passes and somehow being able to know exactly where his wingers are going to be before they even know, tbh. Krej is probably the MOST underrated player on the Bruins, but he’s always dependable, and always seems to be there when you need him.  (Forward (Center), #46, 2nd Line)

Step 3: pick your weirdo

- Have you never eaten a vegetable willingly in your life? Do you consider yourself a chef - specifically for children? Do you think getting your teeth knocked out is fun and exciting? Then Jake “JD” DeBrusk is the dude for you! Goofy AF off the ice and a sniper on it, Jake is extremely worthy of being your chosen weirdo. He has a lucky winter hat named “tuukka” that he’s been wearing all playoffs, and he might only have one brain cell but we love him for it. At one point called a draft bust, Jake has been proving himself to be an elite player, and has been a steady winger for Krejci all season. Plus. He’s cute af. (Forward (winger), #74, 2nd Line)

- Is getting under other people’s skin one of your favorite activities? Do you like to piss people off by being better than them at everything? Does licking someone’s face in the middle of a hockey game seem like a Good Idea to you? Back in step number one did you chose Patrice Bergeron as your Lord and Savior? Then Boston’s favorite Pest - Brad Marchand - is the guy for you! Brad started off as an undersized fourth liner, and has worked his way up to one of the top scorers in the league. Outside of Boston he’s probably the most hated player in the NHL - earning himself a reputation for being a pest (at best), and sometimes being dirty (at worst). This year we are proud to announce that he did not get suspended once! Though he did come in just short of 100 Penalty Minutes. Marchy was our top scorer this year, and has become an integral part of this team. (Forward (winger), #63, 1st Line)

- Are you secretly an arsonist? Are frogs your favorite animal? Do you have a crush on that Pretty Jock that’s in all your classes and sometimes smiles at you in the lunch line? Then Danton Heinen is the weirdo for you. Danton has been a quietly steady performer for the Bruins this season, spending time on the top line with Bergeron and Marchand when Pasta was out. He’s growing into quite the play maker, and he’s known for making good decisions on the ice that lead to goals. Danton also happens to look like a frog, which is an important character trait imo. He’s a tumblr favorite, but he’s a good person to like even in real life, because he makes an impact on the ice. (Forward (winger), #43, 3rd Line)

Step 4: chose your conventionally attractive white boy

- OKay we’re not doing the questions thing because judging by your ask you may not even be interested in men so i’m just going to dive straight into the description. He’s tall with a strong jaw and perfect curls and pecs of a God. Charlie Coyle is a Weymouth, MA native who Boston brought back home at the trade deadline. He’s been a bit of a hero this playoff run, and he looks damn good doing it. The B’s have been searching for a good 3rd line center, and Charlie has filled the role perfectly. Personally, I am deeply in love with him, in case you could not tell. (Forward (center/winger), #13, 3rd Line)

- an integral member of the Bruin’s all important Line 1A (aka the 4th line), Sean Kuraly has got it all. Piercing blue eyes? Check. Perfectly highlighted hair? Check. Cute little chin? Double check. Though he’s been photographed wearing jorts and an open flannel shirt with nothing underneath it, Sean is still a certified Babe. He’s been Klutch in every playoff run he’s had with the B’s, and is the scoring force behind the 4th Line’s brawn. Not to mention, his signature celly is a leap from the ice! (Forward, (center/winger), #52, 4th Line)

- Brandon Carlo… how do I begin to explain Brandon Carlo? Brandon Carlo is flawless. He has two bible tattoos and a designer bulldog. I hear his hair is insured for $10,000. I hear he does Tri-City Americans commercials… in Washington. His favorite movie is Miracle. One time he met David Backes on a plane… and he told him he was pretty. One time he punched me in the face… it was awesome (’cause he missed). In all seriousness though, Monte is a hardworking, defensive defenseman, who has really shone this season. He doesn’t show up on the scoreboard often, but he makes it really hard for other teams to get goals. Even though he struggles to score empty netters... he’s still a babe. (Defense, #25, 2nd Pair)

Step 5: Chose your shorty

- If you’re thinking - wait, shouldn’t Marchand be in this category? Isn’t he the smallest guy in the World? Then Torey Krug is the Short King for you. An ELITE offensive defenseman, Torey is absolute dynamite on the ice. In game 3 of the Stanley Cup Finals Torey made history by becoming the first Bruins player ever to record 4 points in a stanley cup finals game. Krug is quick on his feet and can snipe from the blue line, but isn’t afraid to lay down the law when he needs to. Notorious for loosing his helmet so he can show off that flow, Torey also has a bulldog named fenway and a BABY on the way. (Defense, #47, 2nd Pair).

- Is talk shit, get hit a favorite saying of yours? Can you appreciate biceps the size of your head? Then Noel Acciari is your man. He might be short but he’s built like a tank, and he uses that bod to plow through guys on the ice. Noeldozer is known for laying down the cleanest hits, and we love when he takes out the trash! The Rhode Island Native got married last summer, and has a golden retriever named Thor. His mouth is currently fucked right up but I promise he’s actually kinda pretty. (Forward (winger/center), #55, 4th Line)

- Are you one of the apparent hoards of people that think a Boston accent is sexy? Could you get into a guy who says the fuck word on live television? Are collarbone tattoos a thing you admire? Do you like sexy, tough little son’s of bitches? Great! Matt Grzelcyk is the little guy for you. A BU grad who’s become a cornerstone of the Bruins d-core, Grz is a tough little cutie who works hard and gets shit done. More of an offensive defenseman, Matty G has been there for the team even when all of our other defenseman were injured. His Dad has worked at the Gahden for like a million years, and playing for the B’s is a dream come true for Matt and his family. He got taken out in Game 2 of the Finals, and the Bruins are currently seeking revenge. Dude’s got a good beard going too. (Defense, #48, 3rd Pair)

Step 6: Pick your goalie

- As much as we love Jaro, there’s only one goalie you need to know about when you’re learning about the Bruins... 2 U’s 2 K’s 2 Points... Tuukka Rask! The clear MVP of the Playoffs this year, Tuukka has been a brick wall in the net for the B’s. He’s known for being quick tempered and a little... wild, at times, having been caught on camera beating the shit out of a bunch of milk crates and on time brandishing a skate blade at the refs like a knife. Though some fans seem to never forgive Tuukka for the B’s loosing the 2013 playoffs, around these parts we love and respect and rely on his prowess in the net. Off ice, he kinda looks like the grinch (and knows it), though apparently Bergy thinks he looks like Harry Styles (i wish i was kidding). He’s also got 2 adorable little girls! (GOALIE, starter)

So now you’ve got 6 guys that you know about, right? I would pick 1 or 2 of those to be the ones you pay attention to. Listen for headlines about their goals/play, if you’re watching games, look for their numbers on the ice. All you gotta do is be able to say “Wow did you see that Coyle goal on Saturday night?” and all of a sudden you sound like an expert! (This works even better of you choose a guy not from the first category). 

If you have more questions about specific players or lines, feel free to reach out! I know not a lot but I know many people who actually do know things lol

(Also to any of Bruins tumblr who made it this far, I KNOW i’m missing your faves okay. Wagner, Clifton, Nordy, MoJo, Moore, and half the providence roster deserve a spot on here. But I’ve already written too much)

(Also Also, special thanks to Lil for helping me with Monte’s description) 

[milkboxing]

txt’s reactions to their first serious crush ♡ˎˊ˗

AN ⌇ this is my first time writing about reactions, i’m so excited ùwú !! requests are open.

❝ hewwo baby!! I really wanna know, how would txt react with their first serious crush? ✨ ❞ ⌇ requested by @txt-things

⤷ 𓈊 ˎˊ˗

yeonjun ࿐

⇢ ah, this boy. . . he is quite a witty one but he would be flustered on realising that he might be more whipped for you than he’s ever been for anyone else before. but yeonjun is one guy who won’t lose time or miss the opportunity of trying to get closer to you. he is either going to

tease the hell out of you and annoy you to the point you’d want to haul him over the coals (which you’re probably going to miss when he’s not around though)

catch your attention with a few lame pickup lines

when it comes to him specifically, there’s no in-between. for some unknown reason, you’ll always find him in proximity of you and even when he’s with his friends he is going to spare you some of those winks of his that’ll make you turn beetroot red and flash you sly smiles that say “you know you can’t resist me.” anyways. the way he treats you, openly gives you nicknames, buys you little gifts and all really gives everything away so, his confession may not come in as a surprise.

soobin ࿐

⇢ this cutie! he would be a total mess. like, who the fuck are you — how, when, why does everything you do just make him feel like you hold they key to his poor heart and he might just give it to you at any instant? soobin would be too shy to flirt but depending on the situation, i think that there may be moments of complicity between the two of you that could push him to show some boldness. . . but you can still see him blush to his ears, because that’s the cute and abashed boy you’re acquainted with. he would probably strike a short conversation everyday, which was extremely awkward at first:

“isn’t the weather great today?”

“it is!”

“yes. . . it’s beautiful.”

“yeah. . .”

“uh. . . have a nice day. . .?”

but as time passes by you two come to speak more naturally, engaging into conversations about interests that you have in common and his friends could almost well up with a sense of accomplishment, because they’ve taught the boy so well. you always see soobin’s friends encouraging him and eyeing the tall guy and you simultaneously, with mischievous looks, whenever you stumble upon them. but he would ignore all of their bullshit from the moment he’d lay his eyes on you to spare you the warmest smile ever.

beomgyu ࿐

⇢ similarly to yeonjun, beomgyu would pick on his crush from time to time but in a less flirty way — or to the least, flirty in a very low-key manner. finger flicks on the forehead over little wisecracks, gently bumping your hip to the side with his, doodling things like “bamgyu’s property” or “please return this thing to bam if found 🤢” on your hand in the middle of classes; he has his very own way of expressing his affection for you, without making it too obvious. despite this, the boy would actually praise you a lot!

“hey, that’s pretty good. mine is more shitty anyway.”

“woah! you don’t look too bad today, did you get a haircut?”

sometimes even the littlest things you do could impress him or make him burst into laughter.

“oh shit, there’s ice-cream on my blouse. . .”

“ᵃᴴᵃHᵃᴬhᵃHᵃᴴA !!”

you two do many things together, for instance, going to the arcade or karaoke, exploring the city in search of new bakeries, barbecue nights in summer and more! he won’t admit that he cares but he knows you extremely well and he won’t deny this. someone hold this boy, you really rock his entire heart. he’d probably kiss you before confessing because he truly wants you to acknowledge his feelings but imagine how much weight it must hold to say “i love you” to someone you’re close friends with.

taehyun ࿐

⇢ i think that he would personally take some time to think deeply about his own feelings, recall all the times you made bedlam in his heart break loose and once he’ll have self-diagnosed himself as love-struck, he will be a little lost as to what the next step is. he is super attentive to whatever you say, shows interest in anything you’re going to tell him and you’ll notice how his eyes sparkle as if he has gathered all the stars in the milky way in them so that they shine especially for you. taehyun does not really freak out around you but you can find him, in spite of this, giggling and smiling more than usual. he is the type of person who reads a gazillion of books and articles about how to deal with emotions, don’t tell me otherwise. i think that he won’t rush to be in a relationship, he’d appreciate the heart-warming feelings that he has for you to their just valour and wait until he makes sure that you possibly reciprocate his feelings before stepping up his game.

huening kai ࿐

⇢ oh my god, what can i say about this kid? he could almost scream his love for you: you are the apple of his eyes, his heart’s desire. kai can either be pretty bashful around you, hesitating to approach you at first but ending up coming to you thanks to his supportive hyungs with his purest smile, only to greet and wave at you. . . or he might be the type to ask you many, many, many questions about yourself, your life and he won’t miss to ask frequent updates about your pets, as well. he wants to know you better, obviously, and he tries his best to get closer to you somehow! huening kai is someone who caters for everyone to feel involved, whatever the situation is, and this applies to you as well. he often asks you if you’ve eaten or caught enough sleep, reassures you that he’s here for you in case you’re going through a rough time and discreetly and on days he feels gutsy, openly, encourages you. in other words, you really can’t help but give in to his loveliness.

[chibinoyume]

Blindspot Hiatus Project Meet and Greet

Name/Nickname: My name is Camila, I usually go by Chizuru-chibi or a variation of that in any fandomy places.

Age* (don’t be shy, we’re a fandom of grandmas): Still in denial about my age since my last birthday

Where are you from*: Middle part of Chile, South America.

When did you jump aboard the Blindspot madness: I first discovered the show about a month or so ago on Netflix. I went bonkers about it around two weeks ago.

Other fandoms you’re in/TV shows you watch: I’m not currently active on any other fandoms, lots of shows I loved have ended a long time ago, but I am currently waiting for the new season of Van Helsing and The OA. I also love the Marvel movies and John Wick.

Favorite Blindspot characters (main): Jane ♥

Favorite Blindspot characters (guest or recurring): Rich Dotcom, Roman, David

Favorite ship(s): Jeller all the way ♥

Favorite episode(s): It’s hard to say, I really love the pilot and 2x22.

Favorite season(s): Season one

Favorite tattoo(s)/case(s): The bird on Jane’s neck is my favoriteee. It looks so graceful on her.

Favorite whatever you want: I don’t knowwww. Do Jaimie Alexander’s interviews count?

If you were a Blindspot character, who would you be: Oh God, I am the least athletic person ever, who could I be? From the main cast I guess that makes me Rich lol but I an nowhere near as computer savvy as him nor do I have that level of sass. Can I be the couch in Kurt and Jane’s apartment?

One scene that left you with your jaw on the floor: Season one finale. Both shocked and oh so maaaad.

One dead character you would bring back: I am so torn between David and Roman.

One guest star (who has appeared in less that three to five episodes) you want to bring back: Cade. I feel he needs some justice.

One recurring character you’d love to have promoted to regular: Allie Knight (although idk how that would work).

One actor/actress you would love to have guest star on the show (and who would they play): This would make no sense but I’m gonna say Chris Hemsworth because I love him. Brownie points if he had any prior connection to Jane because I’d love the Lady Sif x Thor reunion, heh.

One forgotten storyline you wish they’d bring back or answer: I may need to rewatch, but did they ever explain WHY did Alice Krugger had a gazillion dollars in that bank account Roman went to get as his “inheritance”? I assumed it was payout for Orion and her “death” in the field, but not sure if they ever addressed it directly. Also, wtf happened to Taylor Shaw, I mean I know she’s dead but what.actually.happened.

One country you want the show to visit next season: I’d say my own but I know it’s a longshot lol so I’ll go with.. Russia.

What’s your craziest/favorite theory about the upcoming season: I don’t really have any, I am in denial

Share a little bit about yourself (don’t be shy)*: Well. I have a little dog and she’s my life. I like creating things and I’m currently getting out of my art-block through making fanart for this wonderful show. I am super messy, and I work from home. 

[takerfoxx]

So, Godzilla: King of the Monsters!

Human characters? An improvement over the last one, but mostly just okay. We have another cranky white guy with family problems as our protag again, but fine, fine, he was at least tolerable, and at least his plotline directly tied into the monster stuff instead of happening around it. Ken Watanabe’s back and doing more stuff this time We also have Millie Bobby Brown and Charles Dance pretty much playing Eleven-lite and Tywin Lannister-lite, but overall their characters are engaging enough-ish...I guess. Though I think that Vera Farmiga’s role was probably the most interesting, but let’s face it, we weren’t there for them...except for maybe Millie Bobbie Brown.

The plot? Who the fuck cares?

All the monster stuff? Well...

HOLY FUCKING SHIT!

I went to this movie for one reason and one reason only: to see the squad from those old Godzilla movies we used to rent from Blockbuster when I was a kid blown up with a huge budget and just wrecking shit. And boy, did it deliver!

I mean, I was kind of worried, seeing how spectacle movies haven’t really been doing it for me lately. Like, not even Pacific Rim was all that engaging. But this one sure the fuck was! I think part of it is because I actually know these guys. Of course I know Godzilla, but I also know Rodan, I also know Mothra, and of course I know King Ghidorah. So seeing them now is like revisiting old friends...only a gazillion times cooler!

Like, they went all out to make these guys as big, as scary, as cool, and as majestic as possible! You remember my rants about Jurassic World’s problems with presentation? Well, this one did NOT have that problem, no siree! Every single damned frame of the monster scenes could make for a killer poster or wallpaper, and many could have been a sci-fi Renaissance painting or something! There was actual majesty, actual wonder, and...Jesus it was so cool!

Of course Godzilla is the big, badass hero, no surprises there. And Mothra is the pure bringer of light, but even Rodan got a super badass makeover, even if he’s playing sidekick again. And Ghidorah! Oh, fuck yeah! This has got to be the big bad’s most badass showing ever! Like, he just plain whoops ass! Usually the main bad monsters have a tendency to get jobbed out in the final fight, but nope! He is a BEAST!

Why yes, I am a King Ghidorah fan. Why do you ask?

Also, we have the triumphant return of the classic Godzilla AND Mothra themes, Ghidorah getting his Monster Zero nickname again, the return of the oxygen buster from the original movie, and Serj Tankian covering “Godzilla” by Blue Oyster Cult for the credits scene. And don’t think that I didn’t notice those twin little Japanese girls in that photo!

Plus, we’re getting even more monsters coming up. So...Gigan, maybe? Baragon? Caesar? Anguirus? Fucking MECHAGOZILLA? I know he’s taking on King Kong next, but nothing says that other fan favorites can’t make an appearance.

Plus, there’s the implications from that after credits scene. 

So...yeah. This movie delivered exactly what I wanted and I am happy that I saw it. Long live the king!

[twistedstarlitspirits]

ooc

The following post will contain KH3 spoilers, marked and sectioned off, that you may need to fully understand this theory on the Fae in Kingdom Hearts and where their fabled world, often called in our world, the Otherworld, is located, and how I was friggin right about how Maleficent truly sees Riku as one of her own.

no images will be used as Mun is too lazy to find appropriate sceenshots of every scene I will refer to.

ANYWHO!! Let’s get this show started, feel free to reblog this post, just remember to tag appropriately since some people still don’t know the game

First some background and history on the fae, just a bit.

Fae = Faerie = Fairy = Fayrie = The Good Folk = Little Helpers = People Under The Hill = basically any sort of nickname you can think of besides fairy or an alternate spelling of fairy, because if they heard you dissing them by daring to say they weren’t good and kind and just and shit, then they often chose to make you their next pranking target for a while. I tend to just use the word Fae to generalize and make things easier

The fae are said in some cultures to live under the hill, their world, because it is a whole other world in mythos, is hidden from human sight. Often, it has even been said that to travel to the Otherworld, is to see death.

Because animals can see the fae easily, animals also see ghosts

(In fact, many traits attributed to fae, are also attributed to ghosts, or vice versa, but that’s only partially important to this post)

It’s said that in the world of the fae, there is no such thing of time. Years can pass in the human world, or mere minutes, and the fae would barely even notice if at all. The funny thing is

Aqua says that about the Dark World too.

In her game, Fragmentary Passage, she makes a note of how she has no friggin idea what’s going on out there in the Realm of Light, how she can’t understand how long she’s been trapped, but she knows time has passed, she can’t tell though.

She cannot tell how long she’s been there. Because “there is no time in the realm of darkness.” 

We can assume from that, that she didn’t get hungry, she didn’t get exhausted. In fact she started the game as lvl 50, so it’s not like she started over just cause she basically died.

That’s another thing, there are 5 thousand million and one references to dying being equated to being lost to the darkness

Which brings us to the thought that the Realm of Darkness is where the dead go

The Sleeping Worlds are often said to be nestled in the Darkness

in her game, Aqua takes solace in the  fact that while she wandered Cinderella’s world, she never saw a person there trapped alongside her, so she assumed they were all safe and alive even though their world wasn’t

she didn’t take a moment to wonder if the heartless she was killing were the very villagers she was glad weren’t trapped with her, she should have, but she didn’t

so here’s the rub, whenever a person in our universe was said to be stolen by the fae, they were believed dead for as long as they were missing, sometimes they would return and they would either be the same age they were when they disappeared or older than they should be

time does not exist to the fae, not in such a way that we mere humans understand according to all the myths and fables and legends

so, all that said, let’s leave Aqua for a moment in the Darkness which is basically close af to Death and to the Fae, and see other characters affected

Maleficent is not merely a dark witch, she is a dark fairy. As a fae, she cannot actually lie, she can withhold truth, she can twist truth, but she cannot blatantly lie. she can say things that are truth to herself

she and The Three Good Fairies are kin, but the truth of the matter is, fae politics are strange and unusual, and a good large amount of fae would stab you in the toe if you dared say they weren’t good, so we honestly can’t take their title of Three Good Fairies seriously

Maleficent however admits she is dark, admits she can do great evil

she takes pure unadulterated pleasure in wreaking chaos across all worlds

in bringing the Realm of Light, notably full of humans, and covering it in Darkness, which, as we stated above, could very well be where the fae actually live

we only have a few fae we get to know in KH, Maleficent, Fauna, Flora, Merryweather, Tinkerbell, and Peter Pan (edit! and the Gullwings, whom are single minded the entire time and focused only on treasure)

however, Peter Pan is often likened to a changling more than a human or a fae, a child created or strengthened through fairy magic, through chaos magic. some versions of the tale have it that Tinkerbell stole a human babe and all that pixie dust eventually turned him into one of them, others tell of him being fae right from the start

unseen normally in kh and most modern depictions of Pan, is that he will legitimately kill people once they’re no longer of use to him, all he cares about is his enjoyment

and Tink? she does everything to make Pan happy, because she loves the chaos just as much as him, she’s his enabler in that regard, and dislikes when he chooses to allow something she doesn’t like (exhibit a: Wendy)

all fae the same, in that they seek out something that brings them joy, and then they tend to spend a large time of their life doing that over and over and over and over and over and over again

The Three Good Fairies hereby shortened to TGF have this thing, they like helping humans. They like to give humans magical things and see what happens afterwards. They like to make clothes too, and their chaotic nature shows in the way they interact with humans, unable to stop squabbling amongst themselves because obviously each separate fairy knows better than the other two

all of the KH fae have their respective territories, though Maleficent, as stated before, obviously wants to make her territory larger, for the most part, they don’t interact with each other

and none seem to call a single place home except for Pan and Tink, but then, they have a world to play with humans they’ve picked, and often grab new humans when eventually their humans grow to have no use to them

who is to say they didn’t all come from the fabled Otherworld, and simply spread out across the Realm of Light since, if the Otherworld is truly nestled in the Realm of Darkness and thereby void of humans and full of Heartless, all fae love to interact with humans?

since humans can do what they can’t, they can lie

and fae are often noted to steal away their favored humans, to a place beyond time

in KH1, Riku asks Maleficent why she’s helping him, and she says, he’s like a son to her.

anyone that’s known me long enough knows that I strongly believe she was twisting the truth so that the other members of her Circle wouldn’t look down on her, because it appears that a fae’s inabillity to lie is NOT well known in KH, i never see it mentioned anywhere

and so her Circle overhears her saying to the young boy that threw his world into darkness (into chaos, into death, into her home) that may or may not be able to weild a keyblade, that he’s like a son to her, obviously she’s manipulating him, lying to him to gain his favor

but i don’t believe that, when i took a look at the japanese version, the way they spoke to each other, riku was rude af and Mal didn’t seem to mind at all, led me to believe that she truly held affection for Riku

in CoM it’s shown she gave him a huge fucking room with a gazillion books, he had always been given a choice in what he did, she gave him options, asked if he would join her plans or continue freeloading, because he was a freeloader

she found his friends, told him “hey that Sora friend of yours seems to have new friends”, let him see what was going on and take from it what he would, and did no more than offer him a place to crash, maybe do a few errands, hey kid wanna learn magic while you’re here, hey kid wanna go to Hook’s world I think your other friend is there

(it’s implied he’s the one that kidnapped Alice/Snow White depending on the order of you doing the words in KH1, but if that were completely true, he would have seen Sora while grabbing Alice)

he was given everything by her, everything he could want, because that’s how she and her kin work

they take the unwanted, the children the adults, they take the forlorn, the depressed, the anxious, they take all the ones that believe they would not be missed, and they give them everything they want in order to keep them among the fae

is that not what happened?

and, here’s where we get to kh3 spoilers, just a few but honestly, considering when it happens i’ll call it an endgame spoiler even though it has basically no bearing to the actual end of the game (as far as we know)

KH3 SPOILERS START HERE, I’M TRYING TO BE AS VAGUE AS POSSIBLE WHILE STILL GETTING THE IDEA OF THE SCENE ACROSS

in one world i’ll not name, Maleficent is wandering around all willy nilly with Pete, marveling at the world, when a corridor of darkness opens up behind her and out walks a Riku

he’s like “you better not be thinking of getting in my way”

and she’s like “i wouldn’t dream of it my child, play around to your heart’s content and let us both do whatever we want and not get in each other’s way”

and then Pete’s like “new phone who dis” as Riku is happy with her answer and smiles and walks away

and Mal is like “a friend, but i couldn’t begin to tell you from when”

KH3 SPOILERS END HERE

that scene reminds me heavily of the fact that the fae have a strange understanding of time

she knew instantly he was time displaced, and didn’t question it

if anything, she seemed outright proud of him traveling through time

like a mama birb watching her chick learn to fly

(again, very much of a “you’re like a son to me” vibe being more truth than fiction)

and we also see that her affection for him extends to anyone with his face, because she sees something in him that basically screams out to her Fae instincts to grab him, teach him, initiate him into her culture of darkness and timelessness

and riku

he took to darkness easily

it was intuitive to him, he was reckless yet strong

and she praised him for it

so yeah

Maleficent is a Fae, Riku is Fae-touched and Fae-Chosen, Repliku is basically a changeling, Mickey and Aqua basically died when they entered the Realm of Darkness

The Fae World is in the Realm of Darkness

.....did I mention the changeling bit? No? Okay Imma run through that real quick

so basically changeling can refer to one of two people, a human child stolen away from the humans, or the fae creation made in the child’s image and used to replace the child in the human’s crib

because normally it’s done to a small child or baby

and it is a fae creation used to replace the original

the human is taken in by the fae of that area, lives amongst them, slowly turning into one of them

and the creation, often created from whatever elements are around and a spell said over them, is meant to be tougher than the human child, able to withstand any cruelties that the human child would have received

(because often the changelings were said to happen to unhappy children suddenly changing)

(there’s also a few other things that normally denoted a changeling child but i’m not gonna get into that here cause it’s more of a socioeconomic politics things)

the creation would know everything the original knew

and they would believe themselves the original

some tales eventually had the changeling eventually leave their human homes to go join back with the fae, but honestly, anything past about 15 years old was free game in most tales, i think i remember one where the once-human and the creation tried to kill each other

but yeah, and Repliku is a changeling but created by Vexen instead of by a fae (but for all we know he was a science-leaning fae and that was his obsession)

aaand i think that’s everything??? i’ll edit if i realize i forgot something but yeah

Maleficent = mom figure of riku

Fae = darkness = death

[robingurl]

POTO/LND RP - Finding Dog

Notes: This is an rp between me and @kibaweissvulf Background: This our Phantom of the Opera Universe. We fixed Love Never Dies: Christine lives but was injured. They find out she's pregnant again, this time with a girl. The baby is born blind because of Christine's injury. Bells: The bell system Annalise uses was built by Erik solely for his daughter to get around the theater on Coney Island. There are trip wires everywhere that ring a bell at a certain pitch letting Annalise know which direction she going and lets Erik and Christine know where their child is. Annaliese: Annalise's nickname is Anna (think Frozen) and she looks like her father but has her mothers singing voice. She gets over whelmed very easily by all of the sounds and so stays underneath the theater on purpose. She wears a masquerade mask that Erik made her to shield her eyes from people seeing them. Horse: In our world, Erik's best friend is a horse that has a human like personality and does everything with him. We joke he even reads the paper in the morning and sews all of their clothes. Raoul and Meg: we put them together and they have like a gazillion kids. 

Annalise: *is following her father around the hallways her arms are out as she tries to keep up - she stops after hearing a bark* ....*she turns and feels around - the bells stop ringing as she goes off track - she’s only seven*

Erik: *looks back over his shoulder* Anna *he calls gently more to draw her attention back on him* Anna: *doesn’t respond as she tries to find the source of the noise- she cries out as she hits a wall *another bark is heard this time louder Erik: *gasps and rushes after her* Anna? ANNA! *he smacks into a narrow corridor as he rounds the corner Anna: ...father..what’s that noise??  *another bark comes from the dark corner Erik: *pulls her to him taking step in front* stay close *he pokes his head around the corner and sighs perturbed. He’s a cat person* it’s a pest is what it is *a small dog pops out of the shadows jumping on Annalise licking her in the face* Anna: *falls backwards screaming she had never met a dog before Erik: *jerks the little thing up tossing away* Away Rat!!! Get off her! *he kneels down picking his daughter up* it’s ok it’s ok Fathers got you. You’re safe angel *hugs her* are you hurt? Dog: *whimpers it’s tail wagging as it gets back to its feet sitting in front of Erik Erik: *looks to it and takes his mask off* BOO!!!!!! Anna: *shakes her head* j-just scared me...what is it? Erik: *reluctantly put his daughter down keeping an eye on the dog* Dog: *barks happily licking his face Anna: *reaches out looking for it Erik: Don’t touch it, it’s got no sense probably sick *takes her hand* Anna: *walks with her father* it didn’t sound sick.... *behind them the dog follows Erik: trust me dear, *puts his mask back on* It is what they are. Shoo Go away I said!  *flaps his cape at it Christine: *looks up as Erik and Anna enter the stage area* I’m over here dear! Anna: *lets go over her fathers hand and walks over arms out towards her mother* Christine: *hugs her tight* Erik, you have something tugging on your cloak. Dog: *growls playfully Anna: is it a monster? Father won’t tell me what it is Christine: *laughs* it’s a dog, darling. Erik: It’s a PEST!!!!! *yanks his coat out of its mouth pushing it away with his foot like it were dirty laundry* Call an exterminator Christine: you don’t call an exterminator on a dog, dearest. Besides it likes you. Erik: Yes well the feeling is less than mutual Gustave: *comes in a His face brightens up* A dog!  *he holds his arms out calling to it Horse: *pokes his head out from the curtains carrying on his back more drapery for the stage. He snorts eyeing the dog indignantly* Dog: *barks happily tail wagging as it jumps licking Gustave* Erik: Gah!! Gustave no! It’s probably got fleas and other things like...teeth! Get away from him! Gustave: But he’s harmless! I’ve seen him wandering around the pier! Erik: Gustave..... I hope YOU haven’t been feeding this thing Gustave: *grins sheepishly* Christine: *walks over with Anna, holding her hand* darling have you never had a pet before? Erik: Of course I have!!! *glances to Horse who gives that grating grunting sigh only horses can muster* I mean... I have monkey and I like cats! But.... Christine don’t touch it! Christine: it’s a dog, Erik not the bubonic plague. Anna, do you want to pet the dog? Annalise: *nods* Christine: *kneels down holding out her and Anna’s hand* alright dear, let him sniff you first - he may even lick your hand *she smiles as the dog pads over and sniffs the new hands licking them* Anna: *giggles* it tickles! Erik: *winces And continually catches himself from snatching his baby up Anna: father can we keep him?? Christine: *looks up petting Anna’s dark hair* Gustave: *smiles* *this time Horse snorts insulted* Erik: What? No! It’s filthy! And and mangy. It might eat the children or my curtains. Horse: *snorts shaking his head* Christine: oh dearest stop being so melodramatic - it won’t eat the children. It may try and eat your mask or shoes but that’s it. I think it would be wonderful for the children to have a pet...*looks to Gustave* however you will be taking him out and feeding him Gustave: Like What you do to Father? Sure! *hugs the little dog* Erik: Wait! Don’t I get a say in this?? And it better not eat my shoes!  *watches the children as they smile, he sighs* Christine: *stands and walks over to him* I promise, it won’t be bad Erik: *looks to her* considering you’ve put up Raoul all your life I guess it won’t be that different *he smiles to her* but it’s nice to hear them laugh *the horse nudges Christine bickering pitifully giving her puppy eyes* Christine: *turns around towards him and pets his head* oh don’t you pout as well. Just think the children won’t be tugging on your ears and tail anymore *it merely presses its head against her rubbing its neck happily on her hip* *then looks to Gustave and winks* and yes dear it’s just like taking care of your father - only it will need more sunshine to survive. Your father needs 3 hours tops or he melts. Erik: Ha ha Gustave: *laughs* Erik: So What should we name the rat thing Gustave: hmmm I don’t know, you should pick Anna *scratches its ears then he looks to his sister* Anna: *reaches out nervously to pet it - the dog moves towards her and her hand touches its head* ...Charles? Gustave: Charles it is then!! Erik: I knew a Charles once!... I think I dropped a sandbag on his head. Killed him instantly. Anna: *starts to sniffle* I named him Charles so father may like him....h-he sounds sophisticated Erik: *sighs ignoring Christine growing smirk* If you two like him... ill tolerate it. Charles does sound very... sophisticated. Christine: *leans over kissing his cheek* ..it’ll be fine, I promise Erik: *smiles and puts his arm around her* Maybe I can train it to pee on Raoul.

[dumbbelle]

robber!Minghao

In the end, Chan’s the one who says it best: “So… What you’re telling me is that you broke into Y/N’s house to steal a painting, and walked out having stolen their heart instead?”

Seokmin raises his hand for a high five. “Smooth man, smooth.”

Minghao Robin Hoods the frick outta his life, and quite literally bumps into you in the process. 

✄ Word Count: 3402 ✄ T/W: Swearing, attempted robbery, cute shit ✄ A/N: Heyo it’s Belle, I’m back with something that nobody asked for but I thought was necessary.

Masterlist

Contrary to what his best friend and roommate says, Xu Minghao insists that he’s a decent person.

(“And Mingyu can go fuck himself with his morals, the asshole’s the most notorious bootlegger you’ll find on campus”)

But honest, Minghao is a simple college boy.

He came to Pledis University when he was 18 as an international student, double majoring in Visual Arts, and Korean Language and Culture.

He’s there mostly on scholarship but he also has financial support from his parents, so he’s never really had to worry about his economic status.

He’s not the most social of kids but he’s also not the most introverted, so he always has just enough friends and just enough parties to attend as to not get bored.

But he gets bored anyway, because he’s always been an active child itching to do more.

So really, this whole mess started when he decides that he should pick up his old hobby:

Breakdancing

It’s mostly just a passing thought that comes to him when he comes back home for holiday and rewatches a VHR tape of an old b-boying competition.

But it lingers and every once in awhile he considers the possibility of him just quitting school and becoming a b-boy star like he once dreamed of.

After all, he was pretty damn good.

(He accidentally thinks this out loud during dinner and his mother throws her chopsticks at him)

Anyway, he returns to college for the new year and he’s almost completely forgotten about his old dreams.

Luckily enough (or maybe unluckily enough, depending on the perspective), there is a campus b-boy squad that he happens to stumble upon during his second-year clubs fair (as in, they barrelled into him with a flier and bombarded him with questions).

To be truthful, it seems pretty lame and Minghao’s sure that if he went underground, he could probably find a cooler scene,,,

But also, they said that there would be snacks at the interest meeting,,,

And so he makes the considerate decision to attend.

The interest meeting is where he meets Seokmin of all people.

The acting major makes a scene when he announces that he’s not there as Lee Seokmin but as Kang Hajoon, a lower-class high school drop out who finds his way through the power of breakdance.

(“Nobody knew who you were in the first place, dipshit–“

“–I said to call me Hajoon–“

“–Just sit down.”)

And people are snickering at Seokmin because they find his method acting lame.

But Minghao finds that lame so he proceeds to sit down right beside the boy and stare daggers at any jerk who directs a snide comment their way.

He hangs around just long enough so that he can decimate the rest in a b-boy demonstration, pretty much showing them all what they’re going to miss out on.

And then he gets up and leaves the meeting, Seokmin following behind him.

They grab some chips on their way out and properly introduce themselves.

“Hey sorry about all of that in there, Seo- uh, Hajoon. B-boyers usually aren’t assholes… Just them. Don’t let that bleed into your portrayal, you feel? I’m Minghao, by the way. Nice to meet you.”

“Don’t worry, I’m over it. Thanks for what you did back there... It’s nice to meet you too. And you can call me Seokmin now, I’m done with Hajoon for the day.”

Which starts an odd, but well-oiled friendship.

Seokmin introduces Minghao to all of his friends, and that’s how Minghao ends up with an incredibly,, diverse,, friend group.

And by diverse, he means that he’s positive his friendship with them will likely result with him going to jail.

He should’ve realized it when the de facto leader Seungcheol introduced himself as “S.Coups” and made him sign a waiver of liability before joining the group.

It was scribbled on to the back of a receipt but yeah, it should’ve been a little concerning

But Minghao just kinda rolls with it.

And this is how he finds himself inducted into their so-called “League of Good Doers Doing Not So Good Doer Things”.

It’s a working title; LoGDDNSGDT for short.

(“What do you do, Seokmin?”

“I’m a recruiter!”

“… That’s fair.”)

It takes him a few months to solidify his role in the group (he’s the last to join), but in that time he manages to become especially good friends with Mingyu, so much so that he becomes his roommate.

Mingyu’s known for using his technical abilities to bootleg high quality concert footage, videos, textbooks, and whatever else you need.

(“We’re all just a bunch of broke college students with a bunch of broke college student needs. We’re just making those needs realities.”)

Also alcohol, he sells a lot of alcohol.

And though Minghao initially scoffs at this, it also makes him check his privilege a little

He’s always been fortunate enough to grow up with money and be smart, free to do whatever he wants when he wants.

Growing up, he’s had a lot of interests and a lot of phases, all of which he more than excelled in.

Gosh, there was even that one ninja phase…

THE NINJA PHASE

He’s eating a brownie that’s probably been laced with weed one Friday night as he watches tv with Mingyu and Seokmin when he remembers the ninja phase.

He remembers how stealthy he is and just how good he is at picking locks.

And so he decides to Robin Hood the frick outta his life, robbing the expensive belongings from the richer students and pawning their items off so he can donate to the poor.

He excels at this too, much to Mingyu’s chagrin (“the kid’s just fuckin’ good at everything!”)

It definitely alleviates him of his boredom, and he’s so subtle and precise with it that most of the time, people don’t even notice when things are missing.

He’s become some kind of town legend, and so many people idolize this mysterious robber that the authorities aren’t even too concerned.

He’s also somehow acquired this odd nickname?? The8?? They say it’s because you never know how his crimes begin or how they’ll end.

Like the only thing anybody knows about his victims is that they’ll be wealthy (but gosh, Pledis U has too many of those roaming the place),,,, but then next thing you know the underfunded art department will suddenly get a donation of a few thousand, or the Culture Club food drive will find a gazillion non-perishable cans when they come back the next morning.

Minghao likes to think he's spontaneous.

Now this is where you come in (“finally,” I can hear you sigh from behind your screens)

Unlike everyone else around you, you do not have the biggest crush on this mysterious figure.

(“Just for the record, ‘The8’ is literally the dumbest robber alias I have ever heard.”

“How many have you heard before?”

“Not. The. Point.”)

All he does is go around and undermine people’s hard work, invading their personal space and infringing on their privacy.

All so that he can make a quick buck.

And sure, maybe he’s not spending all that money on himself, but to make students feel unsafe and unprotected in their own freaking homes and dorms?

And to have nobody do anything about it?

Absurd.

It becomes such a constant source of ire for you that you rant about this almost daily.

But it’s like you’re the only one who understands the gravity of the situation.

Your closest friends are all about this guy, singing his praises and commending his selflessness.

Your junior, Chan, is particularly adamant about the quality of his character (you have no idea about his involvement with the LoGDDNSGDT, of course; after all, he also had to sign the receipt contract).

So you’re a party of 1 in the Anti-The-8 Movement.

He’s three months into it when he makes a rather stupid mistake:

He decides to rob you.

Minghao will later complain that anybody could’ve gotten the wrong idea.

He sees you for the first time in his Korean History class.

He doesn’t exactly know how he missed you before.

First of all, you’re fucking gorgeous

First of all, there is a certain air that you carry yourself with–

It’s poised and self-assured and kind of breathtaking.

You raise your hand to read a passage and even the way you speak is levelled and controlled.

You remind him of royalty some of the other wealthy kids on campus.

Probably trained to uphold a certain degree of eloquence so that you can one day take over your parents’ company and maintain good business relationships. 

And socialize at those hoity-toity parties with the little hors d'oeuvres.

His thoughts are confirmed after class when he overhears you talk with your friends.

You’re asking your friend to take notes in place for you when you go off to vacation with your family next week.

“Heading off to the island?” Your one friend chirps.

“Yeah, dad just finished a successful case and we’re celebrating.”

And wait, an island? These guys must be fucking loaded.

Your friend lets your name slip and it’s all starting to make a lot more sense.

Now he’s heard of your name around campus.

Your parents are lawyers who built an empire, opening up law firms around the country.

They’re known for being ruthless and never sharing their wealth.

In short, they’re prime targets!!

Minghao feels like it’s Christmas– this will be his biggest catch since that one kid who was the heir to the electric toothbrush company.

He trails you and your friends for a few minutes just to confirm the details and then he’s off to plan.

Fast forward a week later to when you should be going off to vacation.

But instead you come down with the stomach flu, and not a pretty one either.

You experience the full range of systems:

Vomit, fever, dizziness, fatigue,,, There’s no way your parents are letting you tag along on the trip.

And you’re too busy vomiting to argue.

So they ditch your ass and head off to vacation by themselves, once you assure them that you’ll be fine on your own.

After all, you are a certified GDI who can take care of yourself.

… Who just so happens to be dressed up in a onesie, cuddling a large teddy bear as you watch Netflix from your nest of pillows on the couch.

You’ve scrolling through your recommended feed when you hear it:

The door opening

And you have to wonder if the vacation ended early because who else… Would…

You gasp when you realize what’s going on, rushing to turn off the television as to eliminate all sources of sound.

All your nightmares are coming true, and you haven’t even fully developed a game plan to approach this awful situation.

Now you’re not dumb, you’re not gonna run headfirst into a situation where you don’t have the upper hand.

Instead, you’ll hide and discreetly notify the authorities when you activate the alarm system.

And so no, you’re not dumb,, 

But you are clumsy.

You’re trying to navigate your way to your bedroom, remote in hand as a backup weapon, checking over your shoulder at every possible moment.

Perhaps you’re checking over your shoulder a little too much, because next thing you know you’ve crashed into a wall.

Except the wall moves and you know that it’s definitely not a wall.

The wall makes a sound, a little grunt and you snap your head back around so quickly, you think you hear the whip of the wind.

The man in front of you is tall and skinny, and seems oddly familiar even with his ski mask on.

You don’t have too much time to contemplate this however , as you’re too busy trying to whack the heck outta him with your remote.

“GET OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU ASSBUCKET.”

It's all just too much, and you're surprised you haven't shat your pants because of how scared you are.

But,,,, The8 is kinda just taking it??? He's trying to block you of course (and mostly succeeding to, the jerk) but he's not trying to fight back. What kind of shitty robber…?

You're c o n f u s e d, which is why you stop to look up at him expectantly.

“You done?” His voice incites a whole new wave of panic to wash over you, and you raise your remote to start hitting him again but The8 quickly raises his hands in surrender. “Hey, hey now, I'm not here to hurt you.”

You're skeptical, of course you are. But you think back to all the gossip you’ve heard about The8, and realize that you can’t recall any accounts of violence.

This doesn't change the fact that this asshole is robbing you, so you use the remote to gesture towards his ski mask.

“Take it off.”

And he sighs, as if it's inevitable, but holds up a finger and starts to negotiate,,,, as if he has any right to in this current situation,,, and gosh, how is he so damn calm right now??

“Okay, but if I do, promise you won’t call the cops immediately.”

You don't know why you agree to his terms– you're sure it won't make a difference.

He’ll get the cops called on him sooner or later.

But if it gets him to cooperate… You agree with a swift dip of your head.

The tension in the room is palpable, and you have to remind yourself to breathe as he starts to take off his mask.

And oh fuck you know who it is you know who it is you know who it is.

You recognize him immediately as the cute guy in your Korean History class, the one you've had a crush on since forever and a half ago.

The one that's always hanging out with that group of loud kids…Chan's Precious Seniors

And somewhere in your subconscious, you're freaking out about the possibility of Chan being involved in a crime syndicate.

And further freaking out about how you’ve confided in Chan about your crush in Xu Minghao, who just so happens to be The8 and holy fuck you can’t believe it’s him.

You really don’t have much time to dwell, because the shock and overexertion of the situation starts gets to you, and you’re starting to feel dizzy. It’s like the fever finally catches up to you–

And then you’re falling, fainting–

The last thing you hear before you pass out is the startled cry of your name.

…

You wake up to the smell of broth, and the feeling of a damp cloth pressed to the top of your forehead.

Your headache is devastating, but you’re otherwise positioned comfortably

It takes you a minute to process that you’re back on your living room couch, low hum of the television sounding from somewhere to your right

You try to locate the smell of broth, which is when you meet eye-to-eye with a very timid looking Minghao

He’s more tense than earlier, as if he’s scared you’ll jump up right then and there to attack him

And you would, honest, but the broth,,, smells,,, so,,, good,,,

You motion for him to give it to you and he relaxes before quickly complying, letting you sit up before gently placing the bowl in your hands.

He settles into a stool beside you– one that definitely wasn’t there before, but it’s whatever.

You sit there in silence for a good couple of minutes, Minghao watching the drama playing on TV as you drink your broth.

It’s kinda nice

Minghao’s the first one to speak.

“Please don’t exert yourself like that if you’re sick. You could’ve had a heart attack or something.”

He sounds so small that you just manage to resist throwing the rest of the hot soup at him in the sudden bubble of anger that erupts from you in the form of a hiss.

“Um, my memory might be wrong here but wasn’t it you who broke into my house in the first place, assbucket?”

He chuckles at that, and you’re slowly losing that sliver of self-restraint.

“Assbucket, that’s a new one.” You notice that his accent is more prominent when he’s amused.

“You deserve worse, you assbucket.”

At that he really laughs, and you have to look away to distract yourself from how attractive the sound is.

“You’re cute, you know that?”

You’re not sure what to say to that, and Minghao can tell. He quickly changes tact.

“Listen, I get why you’re mad.” Oh, now wouldn’t that be the understatement of the year.

“But I promise I’m not here to hurt you. I-I won’t even steal anything from here anymore. But please, please don’t make yourself more sick because of me.”

And man, fuck Minghao for making it damn near impossible to call the police on his ass. You don’t say anything more until you finish up your broth.

“Why… Why do you do it?”

Minghao shrugs. “Just because.”

“Just because? You’re violating my home, Minghao. This is my private space, and you’re infringing upon it without my consent.”

Minghao furrows his eyebrows, as if he’s never considered it before. And God, why did it have to be him?

Minghao finally hums. “Would you miss it?”

W-wha… “Huh?”

Minghao nods towards an abstract modernist piece that hangs high up on your wall. “Would you miss it?”

Your silence is more than enough to answer his question.

“But I’m sorry, you know. I truly wouldn’t have come around if I was aware you’d be home. Aren’t you supposed to be on vacation?”

“. . . Minghao, that’s creepy. Don’t do that. Besides, how do you know my name?”

“How do you know mine?”

The fucker. You blush, shrugging and dropping the subject completely. You’re avoiding his eyes so much that you miss the fond smile on his lips. He’s about to say something when a phone sounds. You realize it’s coming from Minghao’s pocket and watch as he takes it out, curious.

Minghao checks his phone and immediately scowls, closing his eyes in what seems like exasperation.

“I… I have to go, so sorry. My roommate just did something unbelievably stupid because he’s unbelievably stupid.”

You refrain from asking; you really don’t wanna know.

“Will you be alright by yourself? I’m worried… I’ll try to stay longer if you don’t think you will… I mean, if you want. Or I can call someone to come or–”

Where was this bashful kid an hour ago? For the first time that evening, you let out a small smile. He sees it and is stunned, momentarily blinded by your beauty.

“I’ll be fine Minghao, go help your roommate.”

He nods, getting up to leave, but not before taking your phone from the coffee table. He holds it out so that you can unlock it, and you do, though the question hangs in your eyes.

“I-I’m not taking it, just wanted to give you my phone number. In case you start to feel worse. Call me or don’t... It’s whatever.”

And so you do.

...

Bonus:

Three months later, you’re recounting the tale to the rest of the boys during one of their weekly movie nights. (You don’t dare touch the brownies, Minghao tells you they’re fucked.)

In the end, Chan’s the one who says it best: “So… What you’re telling me is that you broke into Y/N’s house to steal a painting, and walked out having stolen their heart instead?”

Seokmin raises his hand for a high five. “Smooth man, smooth.”

Your boyfriend ignores it, though Seokmin stubbornly keeps his hand up and waits for anyone to complete the exchange. You tap your palm against his in pity.

“Actually,” Minghao starts, nuzzling his nose into your hair, “I would say Y/N is the one who stole my heart instead. Just had to fall straight into my arms like that… A true master of seduction.”

You giggle, turning your head to peck his lips. The boys groan, losing interest in your story and turning back towards the movie.

From somewhere in the corner, you hear Mingyu fake a gag.

(Perhaps it’s the brownies, you can’t really tell.)

Masterlist