#he kept begging charlie to watch the movie

[the-bisexual-and-damned]

knox would have LOVED top gun maverick and you can't convince me otherwise

[jinkiezzsstuff]

Hello!!! i’m not sure if your doing requests or not. but i was wondering if you could do an Alastor x reader and everyone is doing movie night and i wanted to know his reaction to the said chosen movie Bambi, I’m currently whatching bambi and thought about this😅

Hiya! I thought this was such a cute little dabble in could do, so i got it out pretty quick! I never explicitly stated i do request but i do! Perhaps i’ll make a formal request post but for now i will take the ones that do come as they do. I really hope this is what you imagined i haven’t watched bambi in years! Xx

Movie night

PT 2

Words: 830

Alastor x gn reader

Warnings: Nada really, just bambi’s momma died rip disney love killing parents also could be read platonically or romantically

“C’mon please.” Charlie begged you, hands clasped in front of her as she gently bounced on her heels. She was in the middle of begging you to talk Alastor into watching Bambi for tonight’s movie night. An exercise thought up by Charlie to have all of the patrons sit quietly and enjoy something together as a group, no fighting, no judgement, just relaxation as a unit.

But of course Alastor wasn’t a fan of said “picture shows” so Charlie enlisted you to do the sweet talking. After some more begging on Charlie’s part you gave in, knocking on Alastor’s door. You could already hear him humming happily to himself on the other side, sound increasing as he got closer. When he opened the door to you he visibly perked, seemingly pleased to see you. “Hello dear, what can i do for you?” Standing out of the way he outstretched his arm towards the inside of his bedroom. Smiling you gladly stepped in, feeling fairly comfortable around the demon and his presence at this point.

“Well, Charlie wants to have a movie night, everyone voted for Bambi, thoughts?”

“Ha, no.” Alastor cackled promptly shutting you down, it rolled off your back though, you expected this kind of response. “Y’know Al, the TV was a staple of 1936, and Bambi came out in 42, that’s ten years tops away from your time. It’s a musical too so up your alley, technocolour and it’s about deer. This is your movie man!” You exclaim excitedly, Alastor watched you theatrically explain with a fond look.

Once Alastor sighed dramatically you knew you were in. “Alright dear i’ll watch this silly moving picture with you.” Smiling, you stood tall linking your arms to his. “That’s why they call it a movie, it’s moving. See Al, not so bad you already know the lingo.” Alastor said nothing as you dragged him along amused by what he presumed was your nonsensical ramblings.

Once in the room with all the lights dimmed, a large tarp pulled over a fireplace, since Angel professed that “Projecta’s are just betta” as the excuse to not use a TV. Alastor snapped his fingers, changing both his and your clothes to loungewear of the 1930’s which you decided not to argue against due to him being so receptive of the whole movie thing. Once settled down, you mushed against the arm of the couch and Alastor, beside Alastor Husk, who kept a great inch from Al. And ontop of Husk, Angel, who wouldn’t leave no matter what Husk, or Al said.

Nifty sat in a little rocking chair, compliments of Alastor, Pentious was curled up with the egg bois, on the floor, and Vaggie shared a large bean bag with Charlie cuddled in together. At first things were fine, Alastor’s radio would hum along occasionally with the tunes, and you watched his ears occasionally flick at certain sounds in the movie.

It wasn’t until Bambi’s mother died that things went astray. Something in Alastor ticked, and suddenly he was pin straight unmoving and it was concerning. By this point everyone was zoned into the plot or sleeping- it seemed like only you noticed his change in demeanour. Softly placing your hand on his arm you asked for him to accompany you to the kitchen for some water, Alastor of course agreed being the gentleman that he is.

Once away from others ears you gave him a pointed look, one that told him he’d better tell the honest truth. “Is everything alright Al?” You asked, watching as he leaned forward on the island looking toward you who stood on the other side. It looked as if he was searching for an excuse, but you weren’t letting up so easy. Walking toward him you met his eyes. “I can keep a secret.” You promise in a whisper. Sighing static Alastor seemed a little peeved about your pestering but nonetheless didn’t blame you. “I suppose it reminded me of my mother, i’ll never see her again. I’m a lonely orphan deer, hahaha,” Alastor chuckled dryly, cocking his head side to side as he laughed.

“Not to mention those hunters are buffoons, most of the prize lies within a buck and their antlers. No sense in hunting doe really.” Alastor finished explaining, he felt weak humanly so, but he always did with you, it was like your very presence was truth serum and he couldn't help but sing out the truth whenever you’d ask him for it. With a gently hand against his shoulder you gave him a tight squeeze. “Maybe one day you’ll be able to see her again, I hope you can.”

Alastor hummed not paying much attention to the sentence, but he was at least happy he did have you, after all he told you many things, and you did manage to keep it to yourself. Composing himself again Alastor stood tall. “Well let’s go finish this movie dear! I can’t just walk out now!”

[ideasarestuckinmyhead]

Could you do headcannons for how the boys would react to their listener having a nightmare about them dying

(specifically Alphonse/Charlie/Auron)

Please, please don't leave me....

TW: Death, nightmares, screaming, blood, gore (like bullet wound), gun

You were walking through, some building trying to look for your partner. It was weird like something was going to happen. Crossing a door way you see your boyfriend standing in front of someone.

"Love? Wha-" Your voice was silenced seeing a gun pointed to his head. Horror and fear washed over you, making you cold trying to process what's in front of you.

"It's okay, don't worry-" Trying to comfort you your boyfriend spoke quickly but the gun was pressed harder. Causing him to silence himself, you glared at the person holding the gun.

"Please...don't-"

BANG!

The sound echoed through the room, watching in frozen horror. Your boyfriend laid on the ground in the puddle of his own blood. A gapping wound on the back of his head as he laid face down.

Rushing to him your screams sounded so loud, like you were in a cave. Clenching onto him you begged whatever was watching over you to no take him. Then you heard a giggle, turning your head the person grabbed your shoulders.

"WAKE UP!"

Suddenly you see your boyfriend holding your shoulders. Worry all over his face as he looks at you, and flinched as you cling to him with desperation. Mumbling please please please please...

Alphonse

Al held you close trying to make sense of what just happened.

After you calmed down and told him what happened Alphonse started crying. Holding you saying he's here, he's not dead.

If you want to try and fall back asleep, Alphomse is holding you. Making you know he's right there.

If not? It's okay we can go eat our feelings away. Going to the kitchen popping out the ice cream he bought and eating it.

Even puts on a movie to get you feeling better, like your comfort movie. Leaning against you as you try to relax from seeing that nightmare.

Alphonse can help but get a feeling he had something similar. Where you were holding a gun at Derek and shooting him.

Charlie

Charlie had a million thoughts through his head as he tried to comfort you.

He flinched as you tell him about how he died in front of you. Holding your face he pressed your foreheads together, saying that didn't happen.

He tries to fall asleep with you, cuddling you instead of the other way around. Making sure to have you close to feel him.

But if your up he's up too, going to the living room to change the scenery. Grabbing the left over pizza he brought over last night. Giving you a slice.

To feel better the lil guy comes up to you two and sits in your lap. Both of you play with him, one hand your petting lil guy and the other your clenching Charlie's hand.

He can't help but think of what would have happened if he did end up in a ditch. Would you still react like this? Shaking his head he leaned his on your shoulder, kissing it.

Auron

Auron was trying to look you over to see if you were hurt but you kept clinging on him.

Grabbing your hand Auron quickly put it over his heart. Showing you he was alive and breathing, he felt so bad he couldn't make the dream go away. But this was the best he could calm you.

Holding you close and making the bed extra comfy if you want to sleep again bc of how draining the nightmare was.

If not? He's turning on all the lights, ordering comfort food and wrapping you up in his robe. He gets dressed, then takes you to the living room setting you on the couch.

Auron wants to know more of the dream, if you will tell him. If not? He does his best to comfort you. Sitting you in his lap as you eat your comfort food and watch ur comfort movie.

This makes him think of his other job, how one day something will go wrong and he'll be dead. Seeing you shaking and sobbing made him want to stop. But he can't, so he holds your hand that's clenching his shirt gently.

[puppie-b0y]

Obsession.

Summary - You and Charlie Walker became friends after you moved to woodsboro. But omg he was in love with you the moment you showed up.

Warnings: Very brief mentions of getting drunk, cussing, Charlie being obessesive and a loser♡

A/N - I'm not very proud of this... uhhhh.... yeah... enjoy tho!!♡ Also, this idea, once again, is from @randyssister

Obsessed.

Charlie walker was a simple man. He sees a pretty girl/boy- he gets borderline obsessed.

It start with Kirby. You had just moved to woodsboro and Kirby had easily made good friends with you. Her and Jill came up to you on your first day when they saw how lost you were trying to find your classes.

After a couple weeks, you had been introduced to Charlie. For a few years he had a crush on Kirby, always trying to date her and make a move. But after a while, Robbie had convinced him that it wasn't gonna happen and that he should stop trying. That was about a year ago, but Charlie and Kirby stayed good friends [even though Charlie sometimes annoyed her].

When you guys met, he was a bit awkward. When he saw you, his face got pale and his cheeks turned red. He had this tingly feeling in his stomach and his words kept getting caught in his throat. Everytime he said something, it'd be started or followed by an awkward laugh to try and calm himself down. But it was no use. You made him way too nervous.

You, of course, had no idea he felt that way. Like I said, he didn't talk much and when he did, it was very awkward and short. You assumed he just wasn't a people person, so you didn't push. Although he was really cute...

At some point Kirby had convinced you to go to cinema club "Pleeeeeease? Jill can't come today and it's boring with no one else there." She pulled on your arm and begged, "Just for today, okay? Then you never have to go again."

You said yes very quickly. After all, you loved scary movies [and the finest man ever was one of the club owners].

You two walked into the class room and saw everyone sitting down, talking with their friends. You and Kirby made your way to Robbie and Charlie.

"I'm just saying, I mean, nothing can beat the original." Charlie said to robbie, he was faced away from you and didn't notice your two walking closer. Kirby went up to Charlie and rested her arm on his shoulder "Sup bitches." The boys gave simple 'hey's back before Charlie turned to Kirby. "I thought you said you were bringing y/n today? I was excited to see them here for their first time." You smiled. "Uhh, I'm right here." You gave an awkward wave as he jumped slightly and turned around to face you. "Oh shit, sorry. You were being so quiet." You let out a breathy laugh, "Yeah, sorry."

"Don't be sorry, you didn't do anything bad." He said. The four of you stood there for a couple seconds before Kirby turned to robbie. She grabbed his arm and looked him in the eyes "Robbie! I almost forgot, I have to tell you something and its very private and important." She looked at you and cahelje and smiled before pulling Robbie away "We'll only be a minute."

Now, Kirby knew you liked Charlie. And Robbie knew Charlie liked you. But Kirby was the only one who ever did anything about it. As they walked away, she gave you a wink and you immediately knew what she was doing. Trying to give you alone time with Charlie so you can make a move.

"So..." He started, "Are you excited for Stabathon?" You furrowed your eyebrows and gave him a confused look "What's that?" His jaw dropped for a second before he explained. "Kirby didn't tell you? Stabathon is something Cinema club does every year where we binge all the Stab movies at a big party," He moved his hands as he talked "y'know, we all just get drunk and watch scary movies?"

You smiled at him "Thats sounds fun as hell!" And smiled back at you, his eyes full of joy. "You need to come, I promise it'll be cool." Your heart skipped a beat. Oh my god, this man was gonna be the death of you.

"Yeah, I'd love to! Uh, here-" You take your phone out of your pocket and open your contacts before giving it to Charlie, "give me your number so we can talk about it after school."

His smile grew and his face flushed "uh, yeah, of course." He takes your phone and puts in his number, talking as he did so. "Uhm, and maybe, y'know..." he took a deep breath, mustering up some courage "Maybe we could also talk about going on a date?"

After you both agreed to go on a date, he stalked you all week. Trying to figure out what things you like, what you're into, he'd make Kirby ask you questions about what your type is "but don't be too obvious that your asking for me".

He's so nervous to get this right, it's adorable [and a little scary] how obsessed he is.

The whole week before your date, he was so fucking awkward whenever he saw you. He'd fidget with his hands, start biting his nails, laugh anytime he talked to try and take the edge off. But none of it worked. He was way too focused on the fact that in only a matter of days, you and him would be on a date together, and it blew his mind.

He'd had a crush on you ever since the first time you guys had met. The amount of times he thinks about in a day is insane. When I say "obsessed" I mean "He would die if anything ever happened to you". He was so protective over you and worried for you all the time; Not wanting anyone else get too close to you.

Overall, he loved you before you even agreed to go on a date. But that was okay. You'd love him back soon enough♡

[cattatonically]

Book Lovers - Emily Henry

Synopsis

One summer. Two rivals. A plot twist they didn’t see coming….

Nora Stephens’ life is books—she’s read them all—and she is not that type of heroine. Not the plucky one, not the laidback dream girl, and especially not the sweetheart. In fact, the only people Nora is a heroine for are her clients, for whom she lands enormous deals as a cutthroat literary agent, and her beloved little sister Libby.

Which is why she agrees to go to Sunshine Falls, North Carolina for the month of August when Libby begs her for a sisters’ trip away—with visions of a small-town transformation for Nora, who she’s convinced needs to become the heroine in her own story. But instead of picnics in meadows, or run-ins with a handsome country doctor or bulging-forearmed bartender, Nora keeps bumping into Charlie Lastra, a bookish brooding editor from back in the city. It would be a meet-cute if not for the fact that they’ve met many times and it’s never been cute.

If Nora knows she’s not an ideal heroine, Charlie knows he’s nobody’s hero, but as they are thrown together again and again—in a series of coincidences no editor worth their salt would allow—what they discover might just unravel the carefully crafted stories they’ve written about themselves.

My Thoughts

My mother watches an ungodly amount of Hallmark movies. My ex-husband has worked on an ungodly amount of Hallmark movies. Suffice it to say, I know my Hallmark movies, their tropes, and what they’re all about.

What Book Lovers does is take ever clichéd Hallmark trope, and shred it to unrecognizable pieces. And honestly, that is the best thing that this book could have done.

I knew I loved Nora from the beginning. I knew that whatever happened in the book, I would always be in her corner. And I’m so glad I was.

I also knew that I would adore Charlie Lastra. And I did. Undoubtedly.

Despite some plot aspects that I did not like – I am never a fan of a character being forced to say yes to something they don’t want to do as a plot device – the characters more than made up for that, and kept my interest. I was rooting for Nora and Charlie from the prologue to the epilogue.

I just truly adored them as characters. They were unapologetically honest – most of the time – and never once did they try to be anything but themselves around each other. And honestly, it was refreshing.

This whole book was extremely refreshing. This book took contemporary romance, and revitalized it. It took classic romance tropes, said “not today, Satan”, and, in my not so humble opinion, breathed new life into a tired, predictable genre. Nothing about this book went the way I thought it would, and I love that so much.

Whatever transformation is happening with the romance genre the last couple years, I’m here for it. And if that means reading more Emily Henry, well, I’m certainly not complaining.

[deancaspinefest]

time on our side, take me there

Author: s7jacket | Artist: Aubrey Berkholtz/LilBatti Posting on Saturday March 12

There’s an ex-angel shaped like a human in the hallways of the bunker, and Dean doesn’t have a clue what to say to him. Because the thing is. The thing is. Dean is in love with him. Dean has been in love with him for a long goddamn time, in fact, and dealt with it about as well as he’s dealt with everything else in his life. But sorting out all of that is one of many items on a long, long list that Dean has been putting off.  Like, Dean has to come out to Sam. And Dean has to deal with the fact that he’s been a hunter first, person second for the entirety of his adult life, which hasn’t really left a lot of time for soul searching. And Dean has to make peace with a father who wanted revenge more than he wanted his sons, and yet still found the time to mess them both up. All of those tasks seem insurmountable, so Dean focuses on what he can do. He drives, he hunts, he watches cowboy movies with Cas. He figures it out, bit by bit.

Keep reading for a sneak preview!

There’s an ex-angel shaped like a human in the hallways of the Bunker, and Dean has no clue what to say to him. It’s been a funny couple of months—funny weird, not funny ‘ha ha’, no matter how hard Sam tries to get Dean to see the bright side of things. Four months ago, almost to the day, Cas fell from Grace again, for good this time, and his reaction to being human has been… mixed. Dean, for all that he is trying to be empathetic to Cas’s situation, is at a loss—how do you comfort a being who, once, could move mountains, and now struggles getting the lid off the peanut butter jar if Sam’s the one who closed it last.

There’s also the not-inconsequential awkwardness of Dean’s unflinching gladness at having Cas around, because Dean has finally got what he’s always wanted—a Castiel who stays. But John always used to tell Dean to be careful what he wished for, and Jagger said you can’t always get what you want, and Dean is learning that. Learning that there’s a Cas who exists outside of being Dean’s best friend, and he isn’t always easy to be around.

So Dean buys him jeans that fit and makes his favourite meals, just to prove to him that being human (that Dean is worth sticking around for. Gives him a bedroom; takes him to Target; buys him books upon books about anything he wants. Listens to him talk into the early hours of the morning, tracing the candlelit lines of his face with hungry eyes, trying to convince himself that Cas won’t disappear at any moment. Teaches him to play Snap, entire body jolting when Cas’s hand burns on top of his. Lets Cas choose the movie, sometimes.

Purely so Cas doesn’t get bored, of course.

Dean isn’t good enough at lying to himself to convince himself that’s true because, see, the things tripping him up are threefold. One: Dean has wanted to keep Cas since the moment he met him, and loved him nearly as long. Two: since Cas fell from grace, he’s close enough to brush with his flame-hot fingertips but still just out of reach. Because of the third thing, Dean muses, which is that there is no possible world in all of creation where Cas wants Dean and Dean deserves him.

Not that Dean would bring any of this up, of course. These are musings to be kept hidden, deep down inside, and never shown the light of day. The place he keeps the pain of missing Charlie, a wound that’s still raw and weeping; where he shoves down the perfect family home and white picket fence he’s always wanted, back before his Dad stole that fantasy; where the memory of that first time Cas disappeared into black sludge in the reservoir stays, only to be brought out in dreams long past midnight.

No, Dean can’t share any of this with Castiel. He can share his company and his interests, and does so gladly. He can share his home with wide open doors, and beg Cas in actions if not in words to stay.

And time. He can gift Cas his time.

 [continue reading on Ao3 on Saturday March 12]

[thefrontofmymind]

st characters + tiktok headcanons

idk,,,,let me live

~~~~~

steve: man's is on straight tiktok and he can't figure out how to get out of it. he liked ONE charli d'amelio video! he begs robin to send him the weirdest videos she can find in hopes of changing his fyp but it doesn't work. tiktok has a vendetta against him.

eddie: that guy who runs his guitar through different objects and shampoo and stuff.

nancy: lots of political content, mixed in with that australian barista with the short hair who posts in their cafe all the time.

robin: for a solid month every video on her fyp had the audio where the autotuned guy is singing 'she pisses when she farts, sometimes she sharts'. also she's the first to know about any alt-adjacent trend and she finds future viral audios when they have like 14 videos.

jonathan: photography tips and music reviews and that's about it. he barely goes on it.

argyle: god tier fyp!! just the wildest out-of-context videos. like ones that you could say have vine energy. it helps that he also posts a lot when he's stoned (he has like 4 followers but all his videos have like 20k likes and a billion comments and duets)

mike: somehow his fyp thinks he likes the dsmp, he doesn't but its all that shows up even though he has anyone even slightly involved in the dsmp blocked.

will: lots of art stuff, mixed in with videos of millenials' dogs that he finds cute!

el: unironically loves the fairy trend. once went viral bc she posted a video of her moving stuff with her mind and no one believed it was real and she got kinda clowned on when she kept insisting it was.

max: ironically loves the fairy trend. also obsessed with watching fit checks of cool oat milk latte people. and peach prc (she's been there since the cd wall days).

lucas: lowkey kinda cringe nba fan accounts. and then also el's videos because she's the only account he follows. also those accounts where a robot explains the plot of a movie over like 16 parts in broken english and he could watch them for hours.

dustin: lots of college humor/dropout content, specifically because he loves sending dimension 20 clips to eddie and the rest of hellfire.

erica: anti-establishment punks and also my little pony videos, i don't know how she managed to get her fyp so accurately curated, i think she contacted tiktok directly about it.

joyce (el made her get one): crockpot cooking videos/jarring and canning videos. and like 'fun fact of the day' accounts.

hopper (joyce made him get one after el made her get one): he blocks every account he comes across and just watches el's videos--he likes all of them and fights with people in her comments and says he'll track their ip addresses (he doesn't know what an ip address is)

[acklesterritory]

That Kind of Love Never Dies_Chapter 1

Hey guys, Now that more voted to split my fictions in 2 parts, I'm back with the first part. I hope you like it. Don't forget to leave me feedbacks. I'll always appreciate them. Love you all.

This is for writing event @tvdspngirl314

My quote is "That kind of love never dies"

Dean x Reader series (just 2 parts)

This chapter words: ~5k

Series warning:

Angst, fluf, smut, angry Dean, hurt Reader, hurt Dean, there's some more but I hate spoilers so I insist on "Angst & Hurt"

It all started with a stupid argument at home. What was it? Three months ago? Sam couldn't remember the exact date but after years, it was the first time this awkward coldness between Dean and Y/n had started to build. He could remember the first time he and his brother came across Y/n like it was yesterday, they were hunting a very nasty creature who used to kidnap young and lonely women at night, then got them wrapped in ropes and ties on a bed in a warehouse to rape, torture and feed on their blood until the victim either died or accepted to turn into one of his kind.

Sam could remember the helplessness in people's eyes too. The pain of the victims' families, the frustration and anger on cops' faces when no one could find the criminal yet, even after the sixth missing girl.

"Sammy, he just kidnapped another girl. And I think I know where he's gonna take her. Let's hunt this son of a bitch."

When Dean was saying that, Sam never expected him to fall in love with the woman they would save that night. Well, unfortunately they weren't fast enough to prevent any harm to the girl. When they arrived and Dean killed the nasty creature, Y/n was almost dead. The monster had already raped her, tortured her … and when he felt the hunters enter the place, he drank almost all of her blood, to gain more energy to fight. So as always, Dean was up to blaming himself. Of course only in his own eyes, not anyone else's.

"Call Cas to come home. Tell him it's an emergency."

Dean told his brother when he finally could get Y/n out of those ropes. And Sam knew he was right. At that point, no one could save Y/n unless God or his angels. Maybe she was not so lucky coming across a nasty supernatural creature like that but she was lucky enough that Cas arrived just on time and healed her. However, angels can only heal physical wounds. But Y/n was hurt much more than that. She couldn't just move on from the things that the bastard had put her through. Even after Cas tricked her brain to forget some certain things, she still had bad nightmares and had this dark shade of hopelessness in her eyes. Soon, she started to eat and talk less and less. And Dean just couldn't let her go. He really wanted to fix all of that for her but she kept shutting him out… until the depression hit her. It was so bad that Cas felt the need to tell them to prepare themselves for her death. Because after all those days and unlike everything else in their lives, The Winchesters were already used to her presence around them; like the way a lonely person can get used to a wounded cat more and faster than anyone else.

"I'm not gonna hunt until I'm sure she can live her normal life." When Dean stated that, Sam really thought he was joking. But after a few days he started to believe it. Dean truly would do anything to keep her alive. From cooking vegetables to laughing at his own dad jokes in front of Y/n to make her smile. That was when Sam started to feel that they can be more than a random hunter/rescued victim relationship! It felt like his brother had finally found his motivation in life: "Saving Y/n."

Gradually Y/n started to respond to this special attention from Dean with trust and smiles. Soon they became a power couple that could motivate each other so easily that sometimes Charlie would call them out. And honestly Sam had no problem with it. In fact Y/n had become his other sister.

"My God, Dean! You're burning up!" It was two day after a werewolf hunt in which Dean had got hurt. At first it was just some scratches on his arms and chest. Yet as the time passed, more symptoms started to appear: headache, pain, fever, cold sweat, even nose bleeding and before they could figure it out, Dean fell unconscious. Apparently the claws of the werewolf were poisonous. However Sam wasn't sure. The only thing he got no doubts about was the fact that it was already too late. Dean couldn't make it to the hospital. So either Sam had to do anything possible to save him or Cas should've picked up his God damn phone.

"No. no, no, no, no. Dean … Dean!!!"

That was when Sam got to hear Y/n's helpless cry and see her true feelings. She was already in love with his brother.

Luckily, unlike typical love stories; no one died that night. Sam's antidote worked. And Dean opened his eyes an hour later.

"Sammy … Y/n?" As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Y/n grabbed his face and put her thirsty lips on her beloved hunter's, letting the tears stream down on her face… and then his.

"Never do that again." She begged, breaking the kiss, her trembling hands holding Dean's face so she could look into his eyes.

Sam couldn't stop his smile remembering how cute they were. Y/n literally had Dean wrapped around her little finger, to the point he accepted to teach her how to hunt and soon she was part of their team too. Until … a few months ago. After two years of them being constantly close to each other, Sam could tell something was off when Dean started to go out without eating breakfast with Y/n. Of course she got suspicious after the third time and that was when their endless arguments started.

"Why don't you just tell me what's wrong?"

"Because nothing is wrong, Y/n."

Actually there was. Something was VERY wrong. Anyone could tell that just by the change in Dean's eyes whenever he wanted to look at Y/n. Day by day he was getting more quiet and cold. Now they didn't even eat pie together or watch movies late at night. And Sam couldn't ignore his brother being grumpy or drunk on hunts, not anymore.

"Ok man, I've had enough. You either tell me what's wrong with you or next time I won't make any excuses so you can leave Y/n out of our hunt plans. I'm serious, Dean, I'll tell her the truth." He finally said, when they were alone in the impala, on their way to do their next hunt.

"She wants more."

"More?"

"Yeah. Sometimes it's like she sees more in me. She thinks we can have a different life. There's no need for any saying, I can see it in her eyes whenever we accidentally come across some family at a diner that try to feed their kids or people's wedding photos whenever we go to talk with some witnesses or whoever during the research! Sometimes she even looks up wedding dresses or kid stuff on the net!" Dean blew his anger out of his nostrils and sighed, shaking his head.

"Wow." Sam couldn't find the proper word to say but he couldn't hide his surprised face either.

"What?" Dean gave him an annoyed look.

"I mean …" Sam chuckled. "… are you telling me you're actually angry with her for imagining the things you always dream about?!"

"Sam …"

"No, really. I'm just curious. What's wrong with you, man?" Sam asked genuinely, waiting for an answer.

"What's wrong with me?! You think something is wrong with me just because I'm the rational one in this relationship; who's actually able to see the difference between a dream and the reality?"

Yeah, anyone could take that earnest speech, but not Sam. He'd seen and knew enough about his brother.

"What's the reality? Aren't you and Y/N living that dream life already?"

"What?! No. No … that's not the same." Dean shook his head.

"Really? How is it not? It's been two years, Dean. You two are constantly with and/or around each other. Always worried when the other one is in trouble and still looking at one another like there is nothing in the world that can make you happy as much as this relationship. So … excuse me if I won't buy your pretty speech; man ." Sam said, Rolling his eyes.

"Ok, let's say you're right but ... is it gonna be like that forever? With all the supernatural crap that we have to take care of … and the constant danger and chaos in this hunter life we have… I …"

"You what?" Sam asked when Dean didn't finish his sentence. He was lost in his thoughts, staring at this unknown point in the depth of the road. Finally he blew out his despair.

"I just can't let her fall for the things I know I can't provide for her. It's not fair, Sammy. It's not fair to lock her up in this dark life with me just because she loves me … especially while I know there is a whole bright future out there waiting for her."

"Here we go, the old Dean's self-doubt" Sam thought to himself as he took a deep breath before finding the best words to wake his brother up from this nightmare

"Yeah, I know but I don't think it's your call. If Y/n wants to go to hell with you instead of living in heaven with someone else, it's her choice. Not your responsibility. Right?"

Dean shook his head while his lips curved up a little to fake a smile but he never answered or said anything about that conversation ever again. He kept his silence for like three weeks … until someone new showed up: "Gary Smith". A tall man with the most stylish haircut and the most perfect teeth and smile.

They saw him for the first time at their hangout bar, as the new bartender who almost jumped in Y/n's way as soon as they entered the bar.

"Oh my God, bunny! Is this really you?" He said, pulling her in his embrace. Like she was the long time missing piece of his beloved puzzle!

"Bonny? You're wrong. Her name is Y/n." Dean said, pretty annoyed by the way Gary tightened his arms around Y/n's little shoulders, making him chuckle.

"No, uh … it's just a nickname." Y/n said as soon as the guy let her go.

"Yeah, actually the most fitting nickname that I could think of. I mean … you have to agree. She got the most cute little ears in the world." The guy explained, chuckling and pulling on her little star earring. Well, if Sam wanted to be honest, he had to agree with him. He never paid any attention to it before but now that Gary mentioned it, he could tell Y/n's ears were truly small.

"I see … So … I guess this means you were close friends?" Dean said, already hating the way Y/n e's blushed with hearing her old nickname.

"Uh … well, no. Actually more than that." The guy grinned, ruffling his own hair while he was awkwardly laughing and looking at Y/n. Just like a proud embarrassed teen!

"We used to date." Y/n said.

*oh* Sam tried his best not to let that stupid grin sit on his lips but Dean's frown and his sudden heavy silence didn't let him do so.

"Yeah. We are kinda each other's first. Like … you know? prom date." The man added, giving Y/n a wink while Dean's gaze was still locked on his large arm around her shoulders.

"Yeah. It's been years, Gary."

"I know. But believe me, bunny. you still look the same." He said, bending to put a kiss on her right cheek.

Dean would kill him. Sam just knew that. Because his brother's eyes were already burning with jealousy.

"By the way, don't you wanna tell me who these gentlemen are ?" The guy asked Y/n, giving her his softest smile.

"Of course. This is Sam and this is Dean. My colleagues who are my friends now. I live in their place."

After they met, everything got even more complicated. Y/n, the girl who was still trying to get old-happy-days Dean back suddenly stopped whatever she used to do. No more complains, no waiting at nights to see Dean before going to bed, no more effort to get involved in hunts, no nothing. And despite what Dean had claimed before, it was making Dean even more frustrated. Day to day he and Y/n were getting colder towards each other and there was nothing he could do to fix it. That was what made him even more furious. Sam already knew all of that and he still had to live with both of those grumpy faces. So last night when they began to fight, he could see this was coming: Y/n left the bunker after Dean let some hurtful things out of his mouth, just because he didn't know how to deal with all the heartache anymore. He now was convinced that Y/n didn't love him anymore. Yet the next day after drinking whatever strong drink they had, he begged Sam to come with him. Apparently Jodie texted Dean about Y/n being in her place for that night. Just to make sure that her crazy step son won't sell his soul over a tracking spell! So Dean almost begged his brother to be there with him, cause Dean believed that as much as Y/n didn't care about him, she still respected Sam and cared about him. Like a little sister and her elder brother.

So here they were, In Jodie's living room, in front of her and Y/n.

"Considering your sleepy eyes, I think we caught you at bed time, huh?" Sam asked, checking Y/n's obvious eye bags.

"Who says that? I'm totally good, Sam."

She said with a small smile, looking much more in control and stronger than before. So Sam knew it was a lie. Y/n Just had made her peace with what had happened last night. The realization۹ kicked Dean in the gut. Y/n always used to be stronger and bolder when she got hurt.

"I'm gonna make some coffee for us. Why don't you guys take a seat till I come back?"

Jodie interrupted, to ease the heavy and sharp silence that suddenly had fallen over all of them.

Y/n gave her a smile.

"Of course."

It was so fake. Her smile didn't even curl her lips completely. She was still badly hurting.

Sam swore in his head when he looked over his brother who sank silently into the nearest seat at the end of the table like a broken shell that he was too . One of Dean's hands was in the pocket of his jacket, the other formed a fist on the table. Sam was sure Dean knew it too. He knew everything was almost past saving. "Almost". Sam tried to stick to their small chance.

"So …" He cleared his voice before he put some (semi fake) hope into his words."You're … you're gonna come back home today or did Alex and Claire made you promise them otherwise?" He laughed and tried to make it funny but the truth was he asked this for Dean's sake, knowing he already was struggling to find the words … to let Y/n know how much he wanted her back … to ask her to come back.

"To be honest … I don't think I can live in the bunker anymore." Y/n said and as Dean's head snapped up to look at her in horror, she raised her hand to stop his (likely) protests.

"I applied for a job 3 weeks ago and to my surprise they called me this morning to tell me I'd actually got it."

*What?*

No one had to ask it. The question was already hung in the air. She snored mockingly in her nose. "Perfect timing, right?"

She moved her gaze from her interlocked fingers on the table to Dean's eyes.

He didn't answer, he didn't move but he got tense. Still staring back at Y/n.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Sam asked, once again saving Dean from asking the question he was itching to ask with some other words that for sure couldn't be nice.

"I wanted to but I didn't think I could actually get it and even if I did, I never figured out how to tell you. Besides, I never considered the "move out" option before..." She looked at Sam for a second before she turned her gaze on Dean. "... But I actually appreciate that you bring it up. I think now I can take the advice. I'm gonna move on."

Sam's heart dropped in his stomach when he heard those words. Because he knew what this meant. It felt something like having to watch Dean get stabbed in the heart.

"Is this … because of that Bartender?" Dean asked, staring deadly at Y/n with his bloodshot eyes. He was already chewing on his bottom lip. And Sam knew a heavy storm was on its way to hit them.

"I don't want to answer that question."

*shit*

"Why? Because you can't just simply say no?" Dean scolded and Sam could see how it pushed on Y/n boundaries.

"No. Because it's not your fucking business and it's not Gary's business either. But at least he knows his limits."

*well, fuck*

"By "limits" you mean when he drools on you just because for God knows whatever the reason, you started to wear leather jackets when we go there?"

"WHAT?!"

*Oh, fuck* Sam thought to himself, watching Y/n rise from her seat.

"You think … you really think that I …" she laughed nervously and Sam could tell she would punch Dean in the face if she wasn't a sweet, super nice person.

"How you can even …"

"I can even what, Y/n? Are we now going to pretend like I'm a blind man who can't see how you got attracted to your ex again? Did you really think I couldn't see how your hands were shaking when his filthy face lighted up by seeing you for the first time after all these years?"

Sam wanted to interrupt him or at least leave the room but everything was happening so fast.

"So what? Why and since when you care about my private life?"

"Since you stopped drinking bunker's beers just because you rather drink those crappy poisonous cocktails he makes at the bar!"

Dean was on his feet now as well. And despite his will, Sam couldn't stop his smile. He never saw his brother this jealous before. It was fun.

"Poisonous? … You … of all people, you are the one who says this? cause as much as I know, you're the one who puts dormitives in my guest's food so the poor guy gets tired and can't spend his time with me!"

"Yeah, because your poor guy is not welcomed in MY PLACE!" Dean yelled, punching the table with so much power that made everyone almost jump out of their skins.

"Dean!" Finally Sam interrupted but as soon as he stood up, someone rang the doorbell and Sam could hear Jodie welcoming someone inside.

"Guys … I know it's not my place to interfere but you two really need to sort things out somewhere private … of course that's when both of you can be much calmer than this."

"No, we have nothing to say or to talk about, anymore. Your brother was clear enough when he said he wants me to move out, so I'll move out. And that's it."

Y/n declared, looking at Sam to resist any eye contact with Dean, probably to make him even more crazy.

"And that's it? You wanna ignore that part where you were too eager and ready to accept that suggestion and leave the bunker instantly like your pants were on fire?!"

Dean retorted while Y/n was shaking her head like she couldn't believe him.

"Whose pants are on fire?" Jodie interrupted as soon as she re-entered the room with the coffees she'd made, this time a man was with her. Y/n's guy. The famous bartender.

*Oh, No!*

Sam sighed, closing his eyes for a second so the guy couldn't read his face.

"Obviously not mine." Dean hissed through his teeth, looking first at the guy and then at Y/n with such a disappointment and rage that no one could ignore.

"Hey, what's wrong?" The guy asked, choosing the worst spot to stand on: right next to Y/n.

"My typical life I guess. Nothing's new." She mumbled in reply to him but her eyes were still on Dean.

"No, nothing is wrong with your life, Y/n. It's about your choices. That's what's wrong with you. As always." Dean said bitterly. As sharp as a knife, as cold as ice. Sam could see how it drained color from Y/n's face.

"You better watch your mouth, buddy." The Gary guy warned Dean and Sam could tell that if it wasn't for the sudden thud sound that stole everyone's attention, Dean would throw a fight right there. But …

"Y/n!" Jodie almost screamed. Y/n was laying on the floor, seemingly unconscious.

"Oh, God." Sam said as Jodie rushed to her.

"Y/n? … Y/n can you hear me?"

As she sat next to her, Gary's fingers already were on Y/n's carotid pulse point. So Sam couldn't stop himself from looking up at his brother, who was still standing where he was. In shock.

"Oh, shit!" Gary's worried voice made Sam check Y/n's pale face again but Jodie was the one to dare ask the question which was on everyone's minds.

"What? What's wrong?"

"Her pulse ... too faint." He said before turning to Dean: "Is she bleeding?"

"Bleeding?" Dean blinked and mumbled in confusion.

If it was up to Sam, he'd ask *What bleeding?* & *Why are you asking this from my brother?*

"Oh my. You still don't know. Do you?" Gary sneered.

"Know what? What's happening?" Jodie was freaking out now and Sam actually felt the same. He didn't like the way this stranger pretended like he knew her better than them. However what happened next was much more unexpected. And … rude!

To everyone's surprise, the guy reached out to Y/n's jeans and drew his hand between her legs but before anyone could react, he spread her legs open so it could be possible for everyone to see that big red stain there. Then he raised his hand. It was all wet and red in blood!

"She's having a miscarriage." He revealed.

Sam's gaze instantly caught Dean's ... Burning. Dean was burning inside with his heavy silence.

"Don't you worry. It's not mine." Gary added more fuel to that hell with such a mocking tone, staring right back at Dean's eyes.

Now Sam could feel it. The storm was there: rising in his brother's roar!

Before Sam could've moved any muscles, Gary was already pinned to the wall, Dean's hands on his now-ripped-out collar.

"Dean, no!" Sam jumped in, trying to catch his brother's arm before his fist make any contact with the guy's nose but all he could do was changing the direction of the punch which landed on Gary's shoulder, making a painful cracking sound.

"I said no … Dean, stop it." Sam had to literally cage Dean in his arms so the furious man couldn't tear Gary apart.

"Get off me, Sam. This son of a bitch has to learn his place."

"Enough!" As Dean just broke himself free, Jodie's scream stopped everyone in their tracks.

"It's enough!" Jodie warned all three men, pointing at them one by one.

"You want to fight? Not here. Not in my house!"

"But ..."

As soon as Dean opened his mouth to protest, Jodie cut him:

"And you … you should know Y/n is pregnant with your twins. So … you'll be a responsible man who will try his best to save them or you can get the hell out of here and never come back!"

"What?" Sam was too shocked to suppress his reaction while Dean couldn't even find any words to say. His confused look darted between Jodie's face and Y/n's figure while his parted lips kept moving without making any noise, just like a dying fish on the shore!

"I promised her not to tell anyone but it was a promise under normal conditions, not this." Jodie sighed, struggling to keep her emotions under control. Sam saw the worry in her frown. Like a real mother, worried for her children. However it was nothing in comparison to his brother's blank eyes and pale face.

"Dean, It's ok. We just need to take her to hospital. … it's ok, man. I promise."

He had to grab Dean by his jacket, as his brother was struggling to process all of these in his head.

"Come on, man. We got no time. Do I need to do this alone or you'll …"

"Get the car, Sammy."

It was just a simple sentence. Yet it had enough power to make Sam's heart sank. Since Dean had put the car keys in his hand saying that, Sam couldn't stop thinking about that tone. Dean never had called Baby a "car" In years. And Sam had never heard that crack in his voice since their Dad's death.

"You ok?" He finally let himself ask, two hours after they arrived at the hospital.

"I want to be." Dean closed his eyes and put his head against the cold wall, letting the dim light to darken the shadows under his eyes.

"I'm sure she'll be good. She's strong, Dean. You know that."

He smiled and Sam looked away not to watch him. He knew that smile. Dean used to give him that, whenever everything was gone so wrong that Dean couldn't promise him anything good. Like when both of them were still kids. Hungry, cold and all alone in a rusty motel room where John had left them on their own for a one day long hunt but then a heavy snow had crashed the roads and kept them apart for half a week. So Dean had to wash the dishes and do the laundry in the motel to rent the room for another day and provide some snacks so they wouldn't starve to death. But after three days, the hotel managers didn't want them to be around. And Sam could vividly remember that smile on his brother's face when he asked: *Where should we go then?*

"You were always such a father material. You know?"

Sam admitted with a broken smile on his face.

"You were always responsible, kind and caring with me as a kid. And I can't imagine anyone who deserves to be a father more than you."

Dean took a deep breath and opened his eyes without looking at him: "But I don't want ... I really can't, Sammy."

All, it certainly wasn't the response Sam had expected. He used to believe that Dean would never turn down any chance to start a family with Y/n. Especially after everything in the world was back to normal.

"Are you kidding me? You always wanted this."

"No …" Dean finally turned his gaze to meet his brother's confused eyes. "No, Sammy. Not like this. I don't want to raise another kid without his mom. I'm not that strong anymore."

Dang. Once again Sam's heart dropped in his stomach. Dean was really helpless.

"Mr. Winchester?"

Dean was on his feet as Sam just realized the doctor's presence.

"It's me."

Sam prayed for any good news as doctor took a glance of Dean and fixed his glasses on his face …

"To be continued …"

READ CHAPTER 2 HERE

tag list:

@jay-and-dean @adoptdontshoppets @akshi8278

The next and also ultimate chapter will post on Sunday, April 25. Thanks for reading.

Feedback are always appreciated.

[lemon-boy-stan]

end scene - finn wolfhard x reader

The reader is filming a deleted scene which sparks trauma. Warnings: SUPER ANGSTY LIKE SERIOUSLY, crying finn, mentions of death, mentions of sex (at the end), abuse, mentions of alcohol and swearing. And also long paragraphs. Lower case.

finn was the only person who knew about your trauma and cared - your mother had a boyfriend and moved on.

the car crash was your burden and catalyst to your inconsistent episodes which was why, every time you rehearsed the scene with him, finn made sure you were okay and that you knew he didn't mean it.

millie was good at being dead. she'd lay there, under the rubble, not moving a limb - she looked so lifeless like that that you were positive a passer-by would rush over to help her.

except there were no passer-bys, just you, your boyfriend, cast and crew and the CGI.

but yet it still looked so real - and it reminded you of her that much - of the car, the crash, the rubble, debris, anger that left your father's mouth afterwards, the deafening silence of your mother who stood and watched in the hospital...

mentally, you forced yourself to shake it off. the memory had obviously tuned the other cast members out.

"it wasn't her fault!" noah screeched - finn appeared to be approaching you, a look of mad and sadness in his eyes (which did not seem to be for you but hurt you anyway) kindling dangerously.

"we can still save her," he turned back from you to her "dead" body, "we can still save her! nancy! nancy. do you know cpr? does anyone know cpr? steve? johnathan? even you, billy?"

"even you?!" sadie shrieked. darce shot her a look and shook his head as if billy was telling her to pick her battles.

"anyone?" finn talked over her. "please. someone help me! she can't die here. she won't die here! i won't let it!" his words and voice were exactly the same as every other time you rehearsed it alone.

you continued to stare at the nothingness that wavered around him as natalia and everyone else remained quiet.

finn darted to you with the corner of his eye before recovering again, "we can still save her!" the rest of the cast waited.

'we can't', mouthed charlie, you'd forgotten your line by a beat. SHIT. finn frowned - something was fishy.

"we can't," you said softly, quickly. finn exhaled invisibly and silently. "f - mike. mike, el said - she told me - she said she was sorry and she said she - "

he cut you off just like every other time, "what good," he began, breathing through his nose, "is an apology," silence, the rest of the cast who were watching liked it, "if she's dead?! please! someone help me!"

no one helped him.

"come on," he begged the world, "come on. el. el. wake up. wake up. wake up!" he shook millie's body as if shaking a dead person would wake them up, kind of like how your father shook your sister in the hospital bed even though the nurse said that shaking her would make things worse.

"el," he choked back, "no. el. el." the fake tears hurt you more than they normally would have.

finn was your boyfriend and you could normally tell the difference between his fake and real emotions and for some reason you couldn't today.

after finn finished crying, he stroked her lifeless hair just like every other time and just like the time your father stroked your sister's before he turned to you.

"YOU were supposed to save HER," he spat the words viciously like every other time, eyes flicking over you with assurance. "but SHE saved YOU! she wasn't supposed to save YOU! you were supposed to die, you were supposed to die! the mindflayer was supposed to get YOU but it got HER! you're not even sorry! none of you are sorry! because if you were sorry, YOU would be DEAD and SHE would be ALIVE!"

you couldn't tell at the time but the words hurt him, too.

"it doesn't work like that!" noah screeched. "she was here first, anyways! she's my sister! eleven understood that so why can't you, mike?!"

"i told you to come up with another plan," he hissed at you, ignoring noah, "but you didn't! you let her die! you let her die, belle! you're a bitch and you let her die!" he yelled over noah.

"i'm sorry," you whispered, to which gaten and the rest of the cast wore a look of amazement - you hated improvising.

finn frowned slightly before going along.

"you're not. fucking. sorry. do you know why?" he waited.

"mike," natalia cut in.

"BECAUSE YOU WOULD BE DEAD! YOU STUPID BITCH, YOU WOULD BE DEAD! BUT YOU KILLED HER!"

"no, she didn't! don't call her that!"

that was the first - and last - time finn had ever called you that or yelled at you. you froze.

"i'm sorry," your lip shook - you didn't have a line just then but the crew liked it. "i'm sorry, i'm sorry,"

"it's your fault she's dead, y/n! you stupid bitch! you killed her! you killed your sister! do you know why you killed her? because you're a mistake! and a murderer! you fucking killed her, you stupid bitch! you can't do anything right, can you, you fucking brat? i saw you yelling at her! 'hurry up, izzy, i'm going to be late!' i told you not to go, didn't i? i told you she can't fucking drive in the fucking rain because she's bipolar and fucking crazy! but you're a brat, y/n, and it's going to be the end of you and everyone around you and even that finn boy, i don't give a fuck how much fucking money he has because you're going to blow him up too like the bomb you are! i don't give a shit how many fucking fans you have, do you hear me? because you. blew. her. UP!"

the nurses stared.

one turned to your mother in her stupid ninties pink dress and pearl necklace as if to say, 'aren't you going to do anything?' but she didn't, she pretended as if everything was fine.

"i'm sorry," you bit back the tears. "i'm sorry,"

"you aren't sorry! because she's dead! you aren't sorry! you're just a bomb!"

you bit your cheek harshly - no one else besides finn noticed.

"i'm sorry," your voice shook, "i'm sorry i killed her i'm sorry i'm sorry please don't - please i'm sorry,"

the crew started giving you looks - knock it off, it was starting to get weird and they didn't want the audience to hate your character.

but you couldn't help it. you didn't want him to hit you and you didn't want the people in the hospital to stare.

but you weren't in the hospital, you were on set, and he wasn't with you, it was finn, but same difference.

because maybe if you said sorry more maybe finn wouldn't unlove you like he did, maybe finn wouldn't hit you like he did.

"i'm sorry it's my fault i'm sorry i'm sorry,"

finn's breath hitched and his adam's apple moved before something washed over him - recognition.

you see, the endless trails of apologies had happened once at his house at night.

"wait!"

gaten threw his arms up at the outburst and the rest of the cast looked dissappointed. this scene was such a good trope for the love triangle between mike el and belle.

"wait - just - just cut. please. she's not acting, i swear this has happened before and i can help her please," he was begging now and the crew sighed and grumbled - everyone was human.

"alright, that's a wrap, we'll film again in a half," they began to leave.

"i'm sorry finn i'm sorry i kill - "

"baby, stop," he put his hands on your shoulders but you just shook your head and kept saying the words anyways, "baby! you don't have to apologise for anything, baby, you didn't kill anyone,"

"but i did kill her, finn!" you sobbed, "i killed her. "i killed my sister because i'm a stupid bitch and a brat who made her sister drive her to her friend's house in the rain," you bit your cheek until there was blood,

"i'm a mistake, finn, i'm sorry i'm a fucking bitch, and i'm sorry i killed them. just please, please don't unlove me, please, everyone who's loved me's unloved me, please i swear i'll do litera - "

"baby, what?" he looked like a puppy who'd just been told off, "why would i unlove you?"

"because i can't do anything right," you shook your head, "and you have to unlove me even though i don't want you to, finn, because i'm a mistake and i'm a fucking bomb, and a bitch. but please, please, i'm sorry, i can't - i can't lose someone else - "

"you're never going to lose me, baby," he whispered. he was shaking, "and you're not a bomb. oh, fuck, the last thing you are is a bomb, y/n. this isn't bullshit. i love you too much to give you bullshit. if he told you that, let me tell you this: you. are. not. a. bomb, baby. you're mine, the farthest thing you are is a bomb, you're a band aid, and a lifeline. you're never going to lose me, i promise i promise."

"but finn," you said, "don't you get it? i'm not a band aid or a lifeline, i'm a bomb. i will blow you up if you don't leave me before you can even though i don't want you to leave me because you're the only person- "

"and i'll keep being the only person," he talked over you and it frustrated you to even more tears, "i don't care if you blow me up. heck, you blew me away the first time. besides, so what if you're a murderer (which you aren't baby it was a fucking accident and he needs to get that through his fucking skull)? i hate myself for bringing up the stupid movie you love y/n but i don't give two shits what he says you've done because a) i know he's a drunk bastard and b) i will always love you baby more than rose loves leo baby i'll always come back to you, always, i'm going to marry you when my parents let me get married and i'm going to always come back to you even if you yell at me to get out because you're my fucking bomb, do you hear me? you're mine and you're a bomb. so what? you're a good bomb."

"please don't unlove me,"

"baby i'll never unlove you ever ever,"

"promise?"

"yes baby i promise y/n i promise just please tell me you're okay and tell me when you're not okay because it kills me baby it kills me so much,"

"okay finn," you mumbled; you didn't want him to cry anymore, "i promise. i'm sorry for ruining the scene," you looked down at your hands.

"hey," he said firmly, lifting your chin up so you were forced to look at him, "scenes can be re-filmed but i'm going to ask them to film a different one okay? but for now please just tell me you're okay baby,"

"i'm okay finn," you sighed. "sorry you had to put up with that and sorry i made you feel shit,"

"you know you make me feel lots of things n/n," he whispered, "and shit is one of them. and i wouldn't have anyone else make me feel anything else, 'cause i love you. even if you blow me up i love you okay? even if you crash me i'll still love you from hell 'cause we all know that's where i'm going..."

"are you talking about the other night?" you looked up, "because the feeling was totally mutual finn we both wanted it you know that don't be a dick,"

"there she is. also, yeah, that night and that time noah walked in on us jesus," he smiled and hugged your neck, "okay, okay, i love you though y/n. god you have no idea how much i love you..."

"i think i do," you replied softly and he smiled into you.

So this is super long but oh god guys I'm still in love with it ahh...

MASTERLIST - requests are ALWAYS open (depending on what fandom it is!)

[vintagedolan]

mixtape | track eight

| masterlist | faceclaims | playlist |

“Left or right?”

“Don’t look at me, I never fucking graduated.”

“Right, then you move it to the left,” Lisa offered, attempting to get past Grayson. He was having none of it, sticking out his tongue a bit while he focused on getting Indy’s cap arranged correctly, making sure her tassel was in the right spot. 

Indy had passed her finals with flying colors, which came as no surprise to anyone who knew her. Top of the class, which was enough for her to feel a tiny bit proud of herself. The Dolan’s on the other hand, we’re over the moon, ready to celebrate her as if it was the greatest achievement anyone could accomplish. Grayson had picked her up from her last final, coaxing her to take a nap in the truck while he drove them out to Jersey, her head in his lap as she was finally able to relax after so many days of stress. He was glad - he wanted her energy to be high when she got to the house, considering he’d planned out a big family dinner as a surprise. He’d even caved and bought her her favorite non-vegan ice cream. She was so surprised that she cried as soon as she went in and saw Ethan and Lisa in the kitchen with little fake graduation cap headbands on.

Even though surprises weren’t her favorite, he hoped he could sneak in another, considering the real one wasn’t until the next day, and it’s arrival came as a text that buzzed in Grayson’s pocket.

Here!

He cleared his throat quickly, trying to hide his excitement as he stepped back from his girlfriend.

“Hey Indiana, I think there’s something at the door for you,” he said.

She squinted at him in accusation.

“You just called me Indiana.”

“Indeed I did.”

“That’s sus.”

“Just go to the door Dee.”

“Sus.”

“Dee.”

“G.”

“Indiana Jamie Cross, will you please open your door,” he said as formally as he could, knowing it would make her laugh enough to give in.

“If something jumps out and scares me, I’ll kick your ass.”

“Holy shit just go open the door before I do it for you.” 

She walked slowly but she listened to him, pulling the door open cautiously.

“I was wondering if you were gonna let me in.” 

Indiana’s mouth fell open.

“Charlie?!”

Grayson Dolan had learned in the last week that the Cross women were stubborn beings, especially when it came to money. Which was why it took so long for him to convince the older Cross sister to let him buy her and Devin a plane ticket at Thanksgiving.

“We would love to be there, but I just bought the ticket to get out here, and money is kinda tight for us right now. I don’t know if we can swing it so soon again.” Charlie kept her voice down, pretending to look at some of the picture frames on the bookshelf while Grayson talked to her.

“I’ll buy your tickets, both of you, first class.”

“Grayson, no, I can’t ask you to do that,” she shook her head.

“But you didn’t ask. I offered, there’s a difference. C’mon, you know that she’d love to have you there.”

Charlie hesitated, bit her lip the way Indy always did. The back door opened, signaling that everyone was coming back inside and that their conversation needed to end. She looked up at him quickly, eyes darting across the room.

“I’ll think about it.”

It had taken her four days to finally agree and let Grayson send her the money for the tickets, though she insisted on flying coach, sending him back the rest of what he’d given her to cover first class, down to the cent. 

Which was how she ended up getting tackled by a very excited Indiana outside her apartment door, so hard that they almost knocked Devin over in a whirl of blonde hair. Grayson caught her cap as it flew off.

“What?! What are you doing here?! How did you get here! I thought you couldn’t come, what the fuck!”

“Ask him,” Charlie laughed, lifting her chin towards Grayson. 

She spun, eyes wide and shocked. 

“You did this?”

He couldn’t help but laugh. “You look exactly like the soft eyes emoji right now, you know that?”

“Shut up,” she smacked his chest before she buried her face in it, sniffling. 

“Hey, you don’t have to cry, you’ll mess up your mascara,” he said, pressing a kiss to her hair before she stood up straight again, letting him swipe his thumbs under her eyes. 

Ethan was watching the interaction from the couch with a bit of a frown. He pulled his eyes away and picked at some lint on his henley, but he kept his ears towards the kitchen. There was a tenderness, a careful nature in the way he spoke around Indy. It reminded him of the first time that Grayson had gotten a girlfriend. Peyton. They’d met on the first day of 7th grade, in science class, where Grayson didn’t care to pay attention, especially not with Ethan and the prettiest girl in the grade at his table. Ethan had teased his brother relentlessly until he finally got his words handed back to him when she actually agreed to a date - which involved him picking flowers out of his mom’s window box garden (he got in trouble for it later) and hiding them under his jacket when Sean dropped him off at the movie theatre. They’d kissed each other during the end credits, with tongue according to a very excited Grayson who came home and plopped himself on his brother’s bed and spilled every little detail. Ethan was single at the time, so he could only listen, and watch. Watch the way he carried her books for her to class and then sprinted to his own with only a few seconds to spare before the bell. Watched him beg his mom to dye his hair blonde when Peyton said she thought it would look cool. Watched him pass her notes all of class, not caring when Mrs. Patterson took one and read “I love you so much, you’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen” in front of the whole class that included the majority of his wrestling team. And, he watched the pain on his face when they stumbled across Peyton kissing Jacob Bates behind the bus when she thought Grayson was at wrestling practice. He tried to keep it together, but he sniffled his way through Lisa dying his hair brown that night. Ethan had tried to cheer him up with his usual tactics - stupid inside jokes, making fun of Cameron, even making fun of himself. But Grayson didn’t laugh.

That was when he knew his brother loved hard. He was halfway convinced the reason that Grayson was the bigger twin in the womb was because of the size of his heart. That being said, it wasn’t unusual for Ethan to watch his brother be kind, and sweet, and loving to his girlfriend.

But there was something different with Indy. It was the first time that he could look at Grayson with a girl and see Grayson - unfiltered, unaltered. His twin brother, in his full form, not having changed a single aspect of himself to fit another person. And it made him happy. So happy that for a moment he was able to ignore the guilt that started to rush over him as he remembered all the things he’d said, about how their relationship wouldn’t work, and how Grayson needed to address it. It made him feel worse that he knew he was still right, no matter how in love his brother was. 

In the kitchen, Charlie was flicking through settings on her camera.

“I know we have to leave soon, but we have to get at least a few pictures before you get all sweaty cause you get sweaty when you’re nervous,” she said, grabbing her sister’s arm and leading her over to the windows, positioning her with the right lighting. 

They took a few normal portraits, some with her cap and some without, a few candids where Charlie did her best to make her laugh as Grayson watched on, the proudest smile on his face.

“Alright, I want one, I want one!” Devin chimed in, surprising both the Cross sisters. They turned to him with the same expression that had him laughing so hard he held his chest. It was the loudest sound that any of the Dolan’s had ever heard come out of him, but it was contagious enough to have them all smiling.

“What?! It’s not every day my little sis graduates college!” He teased, going to ruffle her hair but thinking better of it at the last minute, instead choosing to wrap her up in the biggest hug, her face adorably squished in the picture that Charlie captured.

After that, it was a revolving door of poses with everyone. Lisa fixed Indy’s hair for her before their picture, and Ethan stole her cap and wore it himself. He offered to take the camera, thankful for Charlie’s settings that seemed to work magic as he took a few cute one of the duo, even a few with Indy on Charlie’s back. Devin joined in and they recreated the shoot from their engagement party that Indy still had on the top shelf. 

By the time it was Grayson’s turn, Indy’s cheeks were sore from smiling. But she couldn’t help but beam at him as he waltzed over to her in his dress pants and button down, all dressed up for her big day. She did her best to ignore the click of the camera as Grayson fixed her cap, moved her honors cords so they were even where they hung. They took the normal formal poses, and Grayson stole Ethan’s idea of borrowing the cap. But Indy gasped when he tossed it to the side and scooped her up bridal style, laughing as he held her tight and kissed her cheek, even dipped her a bit and looked up at Charlie for the photo op. Indy put it on her mental to-do list to get them printed as soon as she could, beyond excited to see them once Charlie sent them over. 

“Okay, we gotta go or we’re gonna be late,” Lisa said, making sure everyone had what they needed for the short walk to the university. Everyone layered up, but while Grayson disappeared in search of his dress coat, Indy pulled her sister aside.

“Hey um. Did… did Dad talk to you at all this week?”

Charlie’s face melted into pity. “I’m sorry bubs.”

“No it’s fine, it’s no big deal. Didn’t expect him to, I just wanted to check so I didn’t get blindsided or anything if he showed up.” 

Charlie just nodded and gave her a small smile. She didn’t tell her little sister that she’d told Kenneth about her graduation - four times, actually. He’d never responded, though she could see that he’d read them. Charlie was so used to making excuses for him that she had a whole list of them backed up. He had to work. Traffic. He wanted to come, but something came up. But when she looked at Indy, who wasn’t so much her little sister anymore, she bit her tongue, put her arm around her and headed out the door.

The ceremony was in the science building. John Clark University didn’t have anywhere big enough to house the entire graduating class, so they opted to split it up into smaller ceremonies by discipline instead.

“It should be pretty quick actually, there’s not a ton of us,” Indy said when they arrived, looking over her shoulder at all the graduates moving to get checked in and lined up.

“We’ll wave when you come out so you can find us!” To Indy’s surprise, Lisa’s eyes were teary. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Li,” Indy smiled, pulling her in for a last minute hug, trying not to get emotional herself at the fact that a woman who had no obligation to love her cared so much.

“Don’t trip,” Ethan grinned, nudging her shoulder to lighten the mood.

She turned to Grayson, kissing him quickly before she finally headed off, looking back a few times before she disappeared around the corner. 

“Okay seats, seats, we gotta get good ones!” Charlie exclaimed, immediately leading the group through the rows - it was a massive lecture hall with the flip down chairs Grayson had only seen in movie theatres and movies. When they finally found five seats together, he found himself wandering what it was like to be in class somewhere so big, with so many other people learning the same thing. 

Despite feeling like they were running late, there were plenty more graduates and families that filed into the building, taking their seats and patiently awaiting the procession. 

Thirty minutes later they finally began to file through, a straight line of black robes and red and white tassels. Charlie spotted Indiana first, with Grayson a millisecond behind her, both of them standing up to wave until she saw them and waved back. He kept track of her as she went to sit down in her row, kept his eyes on her as best he could while the main speaker began his speech. He didn’t care what he had to say - he only had eyes for his girl, who looked back every so often and offered him a little wave that still had his heart fluttering like they were hiding in the curtains of Emma’s room all over again. 

Grayson hadn’t experienced a lot of moments of pride in his lifetime. There were a few he could pinpoint - when Ethan won one of their wrestling tournaments in middle school, when their team won their lacrosse championship. When his mom’s salon won best in the city a few years back, when his sister graduated college. But what he felt in that next moment topped every single one. 

The dean of the college of sciences asked everyone to hold their applause, and without any prior consulting, Indy’s entire squad ignored the rule.

“Indiana Jamie Cross. Bachelor’s of Biological Sciences. Summa Cum Laude.”

“WOOOOOO, YEAH DEE!” Grayson yelled it at the top of his lungs, not even noticing the way everyone turned to look at him. He could see Indy’s blush all the way from the stage as they all continued clapping until the next person was called. 

For a moment he was afraid she was embarrassed, but when she took her seat again he saw her turn around and blow him a quick kiss. He caught it in the air and threw her a wink, excited to get to her to give her a real one, which was exactly what he did when she finally made it out of the stream of people at the end of the ceremony. Everyone’s hearts melted when he spun her around and planted one on her.

Charlie took a few more pictures of her with her diploma before Grayson spoke back up.

“Alright, coffee’s on me!” 

It seemed to have gotten somewhat colder outside as the wind whipped around the buildings, and Indy curled into a much warmer Grayson as the group headed down the sidewalk. He moved his finger to her palm.

P-R-O-U-D-O-F-U

She leaned her cheek against his shoulder, her blush almost warm enough to soak through his coat. 

But it was nothing compared to the redness that spread over her cheeks when she walked into Jets.

“HAPPY GRADUATION INDIANA!” 

The cry was championed by Patrick, who stood in the lobby absolutely beaming at her, below a banner that they’d hung above the espresso bars that read the same. Indy didn’t have to ask - the grin on Grayson’s face gave it away. She wanted to ask him how long he’d planned that surprise, how many more he had in store. She felt woefully undeserving, especially when she realized that Patrick had shut down the store for an hour just for her. 

“And I thought you giving me free coffee was bad for business,” she said in his ear when she hugged him. 

“I don’t know what lover boy over there does but he covered normal sales for the hour and then some,” he mumbled.

One of the baristas handed Ethan a sign that read “closed for private celebration” to hang on the door, and then it was truly time to celebrate. Indy walked behind the bar like she had a million times before, happy to see that everything was still in the same place. Patrick threw her an apron that she jokingly tied on over her robe before she clapped her hands together. 

“Alright, who wants what?” 

She made some of her best latte art that day - leaves, a flower for Lisa, a slightly lopsided swan for Devin per his request. It felt nice to be in a familiar place doing something she was good at - it blanketed over the uncertainty that had begun to settle in when she realized that everything was on a trajectory of change. She would never sit in another undergraduate course, never have some of her favorite professors again. And there was always the factor of possibly looking at other schools - they all started their programs in the fall, which meant she had time to truly look, if she really wanted to. From her first tour of campus she’d always thought she would be at JCU for her whole academic career, but her mind began to wander when she heard the buzzing of all the other top schools that her cohort were applying to - Baylor, Harvard, and the one that had piqued her interest the most, UCLA.

She’d googled their admission rates one night when Grayson had fallen asleep during a back scratch, and her chances looked good. Really good. But she’d closed the tab quickly - LA was too far away from New York, from home.

“Hey. Where’d you go?” Grayson’s voice was soft as he clinked his mug against hers to get her attention. 

“Just thinking,” she smiled, turning her head and tilting up until he kissed her quickly. “I’ll be right back.”

Indiana hopped off her barstool and headed back behind the bar, following Patrick who had disappeared to the back storage room. It was like walking into a friend’s house you hadn’t been to in a while when she passed through the swinging door. The freezers on the left and the syrups in organized rows on her right, just like before. 

“Don’t even think about trying to do any dishes while you’re here,” Patrick said, his back still to her as she moved to the sink. She’d had too much time to think while she sat and waited for her name to be called during the ceremony - too much empty mental space that could be allotted to all the things she should be doing. Which meant she’d managed to hatch up a whole plan to better herself in more ways than one in a mere 20 minutes. 

“Do you guys still have the same insurance policy for employees? Like the new health benefits, the mental health ones that you all put in like two months before I left?”

Patrick turned the water off.

“Yeah, insurance is the same, it covers four therapy sessions a month for anyone who qualifies. But that’s just for full time employees. But I could probably pull a few strings and get you some benefits with part time hours… is everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah everything is fine! I was just curious. Thanks.” 

Indy turned to leave, jumping a bit when she realized that Charlie was behind her. 

“What’re you doing back here?”

“I was looking for Patrick, there’s a delivery guy here with milk,” Charlie explained, but there was a seriousness in her brows that let Indy know that she had not only heard enough of the conversation, but that she was definitely going to have to talk about it later.

Damn.

She pushed the thought aside and put on another smile before they all exited the backroom, laughing at the sight of one of Ethan trying to steam milk. He turned at her entrance and lost his focus, moving the pitcher down too far and spraying almond milk everywhere before the barista who was helping him flipped the wand back up.

“Eden’s on facetime for you over there!” He pointed towards the counter and his phone, which Indy happily picked up to find a beaming Eden, who informed her that she’d sent a card that would probably be there a few days late, but she’d tried. She stayed on FaceTime while they all thanked Patrick again and headed back to the apartment, Lisa unveiling the gift pile and vegan cookie cake she’d managed to sneak in while Grayson had distracted Indiana with questions about his outfit choices. Almost every gift made Indiana cry - just the idea that they’d spent any time thinking about her was enough to have her emotional anyways. But between the blanket that Lisa had embroidered with JCU 20’, Ethan’s gift of a JCU Alumni sweatshirt and Indy’s dream record player that Charlie and Devin had got her, she was teary-eyed. Her mouth fell open when Grayson came out with a giant box from the spare room - she couldn’t for the life of her figure out how he’d managed to sneak it in past her - but she didn’t care when she unwrapped it and realized it was a Mastrena.

“You bought me an espresso machine? Grayson! These things cost a fortune!”

“Yeah, but you graduated college! And now you can make lattes all the time.”

“Gray-”

“And you can make me lattes,” he teased, knowing it would take her a while to fully accept it. She just shook her head when he kissed her cheek, overwhelmed.

By the time the night was coming to a close, everyone was piled onto the couch, with Charlie and Indy on their boyfriend’s laps to make room for everyone as they watched Collateral Beauty at Indy’s request. Grayson frowned when she sniffled and held her when she cried, eyes more focused on her than the screen. And he couldn’t say he was too sad to see Lisa and Ethan say goodbye, or for Devin and Charlie to say their goodnights before they disappeared into the spare room. 

The duo brushed their teeth in the sink side by side, and Grayson snapped a picture of them in the mirror with a foamy smile before they stripped down to underwear and scurried under the covers. 

Indy was just as glad to have him to herself for the first time all day, and she soaked in his warmth, sighing when he pulled her closer. 

“I love you. Thank you for today.”

Y-O-U-R-E-W-E-L-C-O-M-E he traced on her shoulder blade, lips on her forehead. 

T-I-R-E-D?

“Why?” Grayson smirked, laughing quietly when she smacked his chest.

“It’s been a long day, that’s why.”

“For you,” he corrected.

“You had to sit around and watch me all day though.”

“You say that as if it’s something I wouldn’t enjoy. I could celebrate you everyday baby.” 

She blushed at his words, burying her face in his neck. 

“For someone as accomplished as you, you really suck at letting people acknowledge your accomplishments,” he teased, running his fingertips over her skin lightly. She did the same over his chest, tracing a hexagon. 

“I’m… I’m not used to people being proud of me I guess.”

Grayson frowned and pulled back and looked at her, really looked in her eyes. They were still the color of the jellyfish, just a bit duller in the low light of her bedroom. 

“I’m proud of you Indiana.” He paused, offering her a small smile. “But you know what? I’m not the most proud.”

Indy waited.

“Your mom. She’s gotta be the most proud of you. She’s seen every single minute you put in to get where you are right now.”

She crumpled into his chest, and the tears that had threatened her all day finally fell, hot and salty as they traveled onto his skin. It was quiet in the room for a while, and Grayson waited patiently - quietly, until she spoke again.

“I felt her today. She was there.”

“Yeah?”

“I didn’t see her or anything. But I had a dream about her the other night though, and it felt like she was really there with me. And it felt like that today too. Does that ever happen to you? With your dad?”

“Oh all the time. He’s always with me. Sometimes it’s stronger than other times - like when I’m about to do stupid shit, or make a mistake, I can hear him clear as day in my head. But it’s comforting, you know? Knowing they’re there, watching over us.”

“Yeah.” Indy’s throat was tight all over again. She wished she could have met Sean for a moment, and then she realized that in some ways, in knowing Grayson, she had.

“You know, one of the things that really stuck with me, towards the end, was something his nurse said. Her name was Charlotte, and she must have been working fucking overtime because she was always there. But one day I was in the hallway, cause I just needed a break, and she came and sat down next to me on the floor. And at that point, I mean we knew. We didn’t know when, but we knew. And she looked at me and she said ‘sweetheart, this is a gift for him. He gets so much more time with you, because he can always be with you instead of only sometimes.’ And I remember, I was so fucking mad at her, because who the fuck says that shit to someone whose about to lose their parent? But she was right. She was so fucking right.

“And while the doctors were in and out, giving us all these numbers and all these timelines and all that, Charlotte was the only one who really told me anything that mattered. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my dad didn’t want to know anything about his… his cancer. He didn’t want to know his counts, or how much time he had left. He never asked, and she was the only one who stood by him in that, made sure that he didn’t know anything he didn’t want to. And it meant so much to him, in the end, that he had that choice. That was one of the only things he asked us to do, before he went. He told us not to cry, and he told us to take care of Ma, and Cam, but he told us to look out for Charlotte too. When we could think, we went back to the unit, asked the other nurses if there was anything she needed, and it turns out she’d been driving a 1995 Honda for a decade, and she didn’t think it would make it through the rest of the winter. We bought her an SUV, and I still don’t think she knows it was us, but I swear my dad told me which one to get for her. And he was so fucking proud.”

Indiana hung on his every word, watching him as he watched the ceiling, like he always did when he talked about his father. 

“He has so much to be proud of Grayson. He helped raise a wonderful, wonderful man. The best, actually.” 

Her voice snapped him out of his own head, and he turned to her quickly, worried.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to do that.”

“Hey, don’t ever apologize for that. I like hearing about your dad, and it’s good to get it out sometimes. You can tell me anything that’s on your mind, you know that.” 

He looked at her, there in his arms, eyes a bit puffy from tears passed, that soft smile on her lips that was somehow more endearing than her full one, and he felt tears of his own start to prickle. He knew she meant it, knew she would be understanding, and that somehow made it worse.

What was he supposed to say? I love you so much, and I think you’re the love of my life, but our lives are completely different, and I promised I wouldn’t ask you to go to LA, and I’m terrified of losing you and I don’t want to hurt you.

His lips parted, and then he closed them again. She yawned so hard that her nose scrunched, and when she was done she curled back up against his chest, wrapping her arms around him. 

“M’tired,” she mumbled, which meant she was already half asleep.

He pulled the covers over her shoulders and kissed her hair.

“I love you,” she whispered, tracing the same letters she spoke.

“I love you more.” His voice was tight as his finger moved against the back of her arm, and he turned the lamp off before any of his tears fell. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------

When Indiana woke up, Grayson’s arms were like a cage around her. Usually, they were still somewhat intertwined when they woke, but she’d never had to maneuver her way out of his arms with so much force before.

She finally managed it, and replaced herself with a pillow that he gladly pulled to his chest. Indy couldn’t help but to lean over and brush some of his floppy hair out of his eyes, staring for a moment before she pulled herself away and headed into the kitchen. 

The reason for her early wake up was standing in front of the fridge, with a head of blonde hair that resembled a birds nest. 

When she turned around, she looked guilty as ever.

“Shit, did I wake you up?”

“Nah,” Indy reassured her sister with a smile, moving over to the coffee machine. “It’s 10 anyways, I’m surprised I slept that long.”

Grayson had gotten her a newer version that was actually fairly quiet, but she made sure both the bedroom doors were shut before she ground the espresso for her latte, and Charlie’s flat white. 

Charlie was nice enough to wait until she had her mug to bring it up.

“So.”

Indy sighed. “So.”

“You asked Patrick about insurance stuff.”

“Yes.”

“So you’re going to work there again?”

“I have to pay rent somehow, don’t I?”

“Dad pays your rent.”

“I don’t want dad to pay my rent, that’s the whole issue.”

“Okay, but you didn’t ask Patrick about salary, you asked him about insurance. For mental health specifically.”

“You know, it’s not polite to eavesdrop.”

“Are you okay? Because you know that you can always talk to me about stuff, whatever it is. And I know I’m not the best about talking about mom, but I can try, I’ve been doing better with it and-”

“Char. Stop. It’s not about mom.”

“Oh.” It was obvious by her long pause that she hadn’t considered an alternative, but Indy waited anyways.

“Then… what’s going on?”

Indy toyed with the foam on her latte with her finger, ignoring how hot it was.

“I was thinking about trying to get a handle on the plane thing.”

“Oh.”

“I don’t want it to be such a big deal for me to just, fucking fly somewhere. I gotta get over that shit.”

Charlie pondered it for a minute, and she chose her next words carefully.

“Just to fly? Or to fly to a specific place.”

Indy laughed.

“You know, you’ve never been good at subtle. You got that from mom. But no, I’m not just doing it because of Grayson.”

“Did he ask you to?”

“Of course not, he wouldn’t do that.” Charlie’s shoulders relaxed. “But he does live in LA, which means I’ve gotta be able to fly out there.”

“How often?”

“I don’t know, we haven’t really talked about it.” 

“Oh. Doesn’t he leave soon though?”

“January.” She said it casually.

“Inds that’s next month.”

“We’ll figure it out.” 

Charlie had a million more questions, but she held her tongue and sipped her coffee. 

“I’ve gotta pack, our flight leaves in a few hours. I’m assuming you don’t have any breakfast food.”

“Actually, I do, but I’m not the breakfast chef around here.”

She sat her mug down on the counter and threw Charlie a wink before she headed back into her room as quietly as she could, sneaking up to the edge of the bed. Grayson had rolled to his stomach, something in his unconscious realizing that the pillow that he’d tossed away was in fact not his girlfriend. He almost looked too adorable to disturb.

Almost.

She went the gentle route, changing her mind on the pounce plan that she’d originally made. Instead, she crawled up the mattress and over his back, laying down on top of him with her cheek pressed to his warm shoulder.

He grunted a bit, but it turned into a sigh when she started peppering kisses along his skin.

“Mornin gorgeous,” he grumbled, eyes still closed. “What’re you doin’ back there?”

“Just hanging out.”

“Well- “ he rolled slightly, just enough to pull her over his side and onto the mattress so he could move right back with her underneath him -” maybe you should hang out down here instead.”

She relaxed into him like she always did, peppering kisses against his chest. Her hands ran over the ripples of muscles in his arms before she stopped and traced.

B-R-E-A-K-F-A

“Ahhh, so you didn’t just come in here for cuddles huh,” Grayson cut her off with a smile, quirking an eyebrow when she looked up at him. 

“If you make us all avocado toast I’ll pay you in cuddles,” she offered. It puffed up Grayson’s chef alter ego just enough to convince him to get out of bed and throw some pants on. Indy stayed closed to him, soaking up the last bits of warmth from the morning as she helped him prep everything for breakfast. She could have done it, but Grayson’s pride at a very nicely laid out plate of avo toast, strawberries and honeydew was the best addition she could make. So she stuck to the coffees instead, passing over mugs as Devin appeared and Charlie followed, though she was still working on her cup from earlier. 

“Well, now I see how he turned you into a breakfast person,” she said, graciously accepting a plate. They ate over quiet conversation, enjoying the last little bit of time they had before the airport and the inevitable goodbye. Grayson had bonded with the duo even more during their visit, and he was sad to see them having to leave again so soon. When Indy went to change, Grayson followed her, frowning when she didn’t pick her warmest jacket. 

“It’s supposed to get really cold out, you’ll probably want your big one,” he said as subtly as he could, popping his knuckles as he spoke. 

“I thought it was supposed to be a little warmer today,” she pouted. “We’re only gonna be outside to walk to the car.”

“Right, but you’re always cold. Just wear that one.” He gave her his most dazzling smile and she gave in, sliding in on before she left. Grayson was grateful that she listened - it meant he didn’t have to reveal his final graduation surprise too soon. He bit his tongue on the drive to the airport, gave out his hugs to Charlie and Devin, squeezing Indy into his side when she sniffled at the sight of her sister disappearing into the terminal.

Indy didn’t have a single suspicion until Grayson took a different turn into the city, much earlier than usual - 50th, instead of 26th.

“Bub? This is the wrong way.”

“No it isn’t.”

“We get off on 26th for the garage.”

“We aren’t going to the garage.” He couldn’t keep the smile off his face - the sheepish one that always made Indy’s heart flutter. She’d seen it so many times, but it still had the same effect on her every single time.

“Well then where are we going?” There was a childlike excitement in her voice that made Grayson laugh. He pulled her hand up to his face, kissed her skin softly. 

“You’ll see.”

The first stop it seemed, was a jewelry store.

“This is not the surprise by the way, just an errand. Gotta pick up a christmas gift for mom.” 

“I was gonna get her a sweater for christmas, do you think she’ll like that?” 

“Li does love a good sweater. She’ll love anything you get her though, you’re the favorite.”

Indy rolled her eyes but didn’t respond as one of the workers came up and asked what they were there for. When Grayson gave his name she headed to the back and came back out with a small box.

“May I?” She asked.

Grayson nodded, waiting for her to open it. Inside was a beautiful ring, silver and delicate, with a large light blue stone in a princess cut.

“It’s beautiful,” Indy mused.

“Blue topaz. My dad’s birthstone. Mine and E’s too. You think she’ll like it?”

“Gray she’ll love it, of course she’ll love it.”

“I hope so.” His nerves were evident - he was always on a mission to make sure that his mom still had a good Christmas, although she always said all she needed was to have her kids back under her roof for the day. He paid the final portion of the ring payment and slipped the box into his pocket, waiting until they were back outside to turn to Indy with a wide smile.

“Now, we really celebrate.”

They walked hand in hand down the street. Indy kept her protests to herself - she wasn’t used to being spoiled in any way. In fact, it still made her uncomfortable when anyone spent money on her in any form, but she tried to remind herself that money didn’t mean the same thing to him as it did to her. So when they strolled up to one of the nicer restaurants in the city for a late lunch, she bit her tongue and tried not to think about the prices, following him inside to the warmth. It was dimly lit, the type of place where the host would take your coat off and pull your chair out for you.

Grayson beat him to it, fingers brushing over her shoulders while he pulled her coat off. She felt underdressed in just jeans and a sweater, but he looked at her like she hung the moon for him and him alone, and she wondered for a moment if there would ever be a day in their lives together that he couldn’t make her blush just by looking at her. 

The menu didn’t even have prices next to the items, and it made Indy’s mouth dry enough for her to finish her water before the waiter even came back for their order. 

Grayson noticed. He always noticed. He reached a hand across the small table for her hand, thumb running over her smooth acrylics that she’d gotten pre-graduation.

“Why are you nervous bub?”

“This place is expensive,” she explained after a moment’s hesitation.

“And graduating college a year early is a feat worth celebrating,” he reminded her, raising up his wine glass filled with water. “Despite the fact that you seem to hate being celebrated.”

“I don’t hate being celebrated. I’m just… not used to it I guess. Wasn’t a big Cross family thing, even before.”

“Well, it’s a big Dolan family thing.”

“I guess I better get used to it then.” 

She clinked her glass against his as he swallowed hard, the movement of his throat hidden by the lighting. He pushed the thoughts from his head, the constant nagging he seemed to never be able to escape from, the better part of his conscience begging him to do the right thing, to tell her what he was thinking. She didn’t deserve for him to drag it out if he really was going to end things - she deserved so much more, more than he could give her with the life that he led. But every time he thought he had the courage to say something she’d reel him back in with a smile, or a witty comment, or just a look, entirely unaware of what she was doing. And he couldn’t imagine her anywhere else but the spot that she’d managed to carve out in his soul in just a few short months. He knew deep down he’d never find anyone else to fill it, but he also knew that she deserved to live the life she wanted to. A life without a boyfriend whose life interfered with hers. He just didn’t know how to reconcile with the fact that he would break her heart, and his own in the process.

So, he ignored his conscience and gave in to the selfish side of himself. 

When she asked where he’d gone, he said he was planning, and it wasn’t a lie. If he was only going to have so many days with her, he wasn’t willing to sacrifice a single moment.

So he held her hand on top of the table while they waited for their food, striking up a conversation about college memories and her classmates that she would miss the most. The food was as incredible as he expected, and he made a mental note to thank Ethan for the recommendation. Grayson made sure that Indy didn’t see the inside of the bill when the waiter brought it, even being careful to slip the $200 in cash in the billfold practically under the table. 

He led her back out into the cold, for once thankful for the early sunset of NYC that already had the city lights glowing against the fading sky. There was something magical about it, about existing on the streets with so many other people, knowing each one of them had their own story and life that they led. Indy people watched as Grayson led her safely down the streets, letting her cling onto his arm for comfort and warmth. It was only a few blocks until they saw the metallic flags and turned the corner to find the Rockefeller Center tree, massive and glorious in its height. It was speckled with what seemed like millions of lights, all twinkling in bright colors amongst the branches. 

“Wow.”

Grayson watched the wonder on her face with a chuckle. “You’re a New Yorker, aren’t you supposed to be used to this shit?”

She smacked his arm, but kept her eyes forward. “I haven’t been to see it in years. It’s beautiful.”

He looked at her. “Yeah. Beautiful.” 

He let her admire it as long as she wanted, resting his cheek against the top of her head when she leaned over on him. 

“You wanna get closer?”

She frowned at him. “How?”

Grayson started walking with her in tow, down the stairs and around the plaza until he got to the ground level, fishing two tickets out of his jacket pocket for the attendant at the front of the ice rink. Indiana squeezed his arm. 

“Gray. Baby, this is so sweet, but I can’t skate for shit.” 

“Why am I not surprised,” he laughed, shaking his head before he kissed her forehead. “I won’t let you fall. Promise.” 

They checked out their skates quickly, lacing up on one of the benches before Indy rose on wobbly feet, immediately letting out a squeal and reaching for her boyfriend. He caught her with a laugh, adjusting his own balance before they started walking to the edge of the ice. That familiar Grayson confidence was evident as he stepped on, getting his bearings before he reached out a hand for her.

“C’mon, I’ve got you. You got this, just one foot at a time.”

She grabbed both his hands and let him counteract her weight as she tried to get her footing, finally finding her balance after a moment of wobbling.

“Okay, now push off with one foot and glide with the other. Like this.”

He went to let go to demonstrate, and she clung to his hands with a squeak. “Don’t let go!”

Grayson’s cackle bounced off the ice. “Okay, okay! I’m right here, you’re good. Just try.”

Indy didn’t like not being good at things. But god was she terrible at ice skating. It didn’t matter how much instruction Grayson tried to give her, it was like it refused to translate into the movement of her legs. She was adorable when she was frustrated, but Grayson wanted it to be enjoyable for her too, so after a few laps around of watching her struggle he slid behind her, hands solid on her hips.

“Just keep your legs and feet straight, and I’ll do the rest.”

She held onto his hands as he started to push her along - she’d forgotten that he was annoyingly athletic but the feeling of actually gliding across the ice kept her from teasing him about it. It was peaceful, and despite the crowd both on the ice and above them by the tree, she felt like they were the only two in the city. 

Grayson took them through the middle after they’d gone around a few times, towards the center for one pass and she squeezed his hand when they got there.

“Wait, stop!”

He turned his skates, throwing a bit of ice onto her ankles on accident, peaking over her shoulder.

“What’s up?”

“Turn me around. Please.”

He did as she asked, faster than he meant to, and it had her nails digging into his shoulders as he tried to hold her up without them both going down. She was breathing fast when he got them steady, quirking an eyebrow.

“We gotta take a picture in front of the tree!” 

He obliged, pulling his phone out of his pocket and turning them slowly until the tree was behind them, snapping a few of the two of them smiling before he kissed her cheek, and then her lips, randomly pressing the button and hoping they were still in frame. 

Her lips were cold against his, and tasted like the vanilla chapstick she’d put on before they’d left the restaurant. It sent tingles down the back of his neck that made him put his phone back in his pocket and pull her closer to him. 

Wrong move. He’d never met someone so uncoordinated in his life, and it was the closest call of them all when her legs started to flail. His only hope of saving her from hitting the ice was to pick her up fully and hope that he could keep his balance with the sudden weight shift. 

“Sorry,” she said sheepishly, clinging to his neck while he laughed.

“What am I gonna do with you,” he teased, and in a moment of confidence he dipped her down like they were dancing and kissed her again. The same tingle went down his neck, the hair there standing up, still there even when he sat her on her skates again, keeping an arm wrapped around her waist. 

Above them, as if someone had turned on a machine, it began to snow. Big fluffy flakes fell around them, disappearing into Indy’s light hair and speckling the top of Grayson’s. It was magic in its simplest form, and Indy couldn’t help but beam at him. 

“I love you. So much.”

“I love you more,” he said, and he meant it. 

They headed off the ice a few minutes before their session expired, unlacing their boots with numb fingers that they shoved in their pockets for the walk back to the truck. As soon as they climbed in the cab Grayson blasted the heat and opened an arm for Indy to cuddle up next to him. Once they were thawed enough, Grayson proposed the idea of hot chocolate, specifically to help the fact that Indy’s teeth were still chattering. Which was how they ended up at Jet’s 40 minutes later, squished together in the blue chair by the window, watching the snow fall as they sipped peppermint hot chocolates that Patrick had given them on the house. Grayson dropped a 20 in the tip jar anyways. 

The lobby was busy, with people in and out constantly, wiping the snow off their shoes as best they could on the small doormat. They shuffled through the line, a few of them sitting down for a moment to wait for their names to be called. Indy was used to the bustle, though she felt a bit guilty that she wasn’t behind the bar helping out when she had the skills to. Instead, she just smiled any time a barista looked her way, and spent the rest of her time watching the snow outside.

Grayson’s eyes were on a girl. A few girls, actually, who looked oddly familiar though he couldn’t place where he’d seen them before. They’d sat at a table towards the back of the store, having come in right behind him and Indy. But since then they’d moved forward one table, and then another, and the not so subtle way that two of them had angled their phone had that familiar prickle at the back of his neck rising again. He shifted in his chair quickly, turning his head away and attempting to do his best to block the view of Indiana.

“Hey, you ready to get outta here?”

“Did you finish already?” She asked, surprised considering her cup was still half full. 

“Yeah,” he lied. “Just figured we could get home and change into some cozy pjs is all.”

“That sounds nice.” Indy moved in to kiss his cheek, and though he tried to pull away, he didn’t do it fast enough. 

“You alright?”

“Yeah, I’m good.” Two for two. “Let’s just get home.” 

The walk was as short as ever, but it was enough time for Indy’s mind to race. Had he been annoyed that she said something about the restaurant being expensive? Maybe he hadn’t wanted to help her ice skate - most people could at least hold themselves up on the rails at least. But he’d seemed so happy, which somehow made her feel worse, that she’d missed it somehow.

By the time they made it to the elevator, she was borderline panicking.

“Are you sure you’re okay? Did I do something?”

Her words broke Grayson out of his own thoughts, and he rushed into reassurances.

“No, it’s not you baby. It’s not, I promise.”

“Then what is it? And don’t say it’s nothing.” 

“I’m good, really. Just wanted to get home.”

For the first time in her almost three months of knowing Grayson, she didn’t believe him. But she knew when to drop a subject, so she just nodded and followed him out of the elevator. 

Half of Grayson’s wardrobe seemed to have migrated into Indy’s apartment, so it wasn’t hard to find cozy clothes that had them curled up together on the couch in no time. Grayson felt guilty, and tried to distract himself by running his fingers through her soft hair, tried to focus on the weight of her leaned against him. She was quiet as she scrolled through show after show, not really looking. She picked a random cooking show eventually just to fill the silence in the room, moving to lay across Graysons lap. His hand moved under her shirt, fingers still a bit cold as he ran them lightly over her skin. 

She didn’t say anything, just glad to have him there with her. She traced on top of his sweatpants, shapes and words, L-O-V-E-Y-O-U and T-H-A-N-K-Y-O-U. The fabric was so thick that he could barely make out what she was writing.

“Thank you? For what?” 

She rolled over so she was looking up at him. “For today. For celebrating me.” 

He traced a thumb over her cheek. “You’re welcome. I love you. So much.”

“C’mere,” Indy said, reaching up for him. It took some shifting, but eventually they got settled where they were laying together on the couch, with her pressed between the cushions and his chest. She was warm as she kissed him, slow and calculated, trying to get across to him that she was there for whatever he was going through without the words. He reciprocated, but his mind was still spinning, images of the girls and their phones behind his eyelids. 

The kiss faded out into cuddles which faded into an uncomfortable silence that Indy was desperate to resolve.

“What’s the update on the tiny homes? Weren’t the floor guys supposed to come in yesterday?”

“Yeah, Ethan went out there and said they were almost done. We’ve got some interior designers coming out tomorrow and then they’ll be done-done,” Grayson explained, heart rate rising as yet another opportunity to tell her came up. 

“They really got those done so fast. I guess that’s a perk of a tiny home though, not much floor space to floor. How often do you guys think you’re gonna come out and stay in them?”

He licked his lips, trying to find the right words to tell her. 

“Well, actually-”

His phone buzzed in his pocket - a call from Ethan. 

He didn’t know whether to feel grateful or annoyed, but he fished his phone out of his pocket anyways, sliding over to answer. 

“Yo.”

“Hey, mom wants to put up the christmas decs tomorrow cause she still doesn’t have them up. You remember where we put the lights?”

“Yeah, they’re in the attic I think, with the tree.”

“Well, you’re the family santa, so get your ass out here early tomorrow to hang some lights. And bring Indy too, I’ll make breakfast.”

“Don’t make breakfast, we’ll bring donuts or something.”

“Fuck you, be here at 10.”

He hung up, making Grayson roll his eyes and look down at Indy.

“You up for Christmas decorating tomorrow at home tomorrow?”

“Yeah, that sounds like fun! But I’m sure as fuck not getting on the roof.”

He kissed her forehead. “I’ll do the roof, you can do the stuff inside with Ma. Deal?”

“Deal,” she smiled, wiggling up to kiss him again, trying to chase out the rest of her worries before she curled up into his chest. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The snow had piled onto the sides of the highway in ugly mounds stained with dirt and asphalt drudged up by the plows. So Indy kept her eyes on the trees as they flew by, specifically the evergreens she saw, with their green bristles weighted down with white, heavy and thick. 

“Are you sure you guys wanna get on the roof with all this? Won’t it be slick?”

“Nah, Dad used to do it all the time. I’ll just make E shovel while I try to find the clips we put up there last year. Besides, if I fall off I’ve got a doctor to mend me up,” he teased, squeezing her leg. 

“I’m not a doctor yet.”

“Okay, well an almost doctor then. How many years until you’re actually one again?”

“11 years minimum. Well, 10 for me cause I skipped a year in undergrad. But it could be up to 16, depending on how long my residency would go.”

“And you’re gonna do it all through JCU?”

“Yeah, that’s the plan right now,” she mumbled, eyes still focused out the window. 

“Hey,” he got her attention, waiting for her to turn to him. “You’re gonna be an amazing doctor someday. You’re gonna help so many people. Just having you in the room, doing the little things for people, that’s gonna mean more to those people than you even realize. They’re gonna be really lucky to have you.”

The sentiment seemed to arise out of nowhere, but she still blushed at his kind words. “The little things are actually more the nurses, but thank you.” 

He let her watch the trees for the rest of the drive, and she was so focused on them that she barely noticed Ethan already on the roof when they pulled in. 

He had a bright orange shovel in his hands, the scoop full of snow that he began to swing back and forth once they stepped out of the car, shoes crunching the snow below them.

“Don’t you dare!” Indy called, but it was too late. The snow was already flying and she squealed, grabbing Grayson and pulling him out of the way while it rained down right where they had been standing.

A moment later and Lisa was outside, hands on her hip with the menacing energy only a mom could produce.

“Ethan Grant! That’s how you fall and bust your fucking head open! Knock it off!”

Grayson bit back a laugh when Ethan kicked a tiny bit more snow off the edge so it sprinkled down by Lisa.

“Will you get up there before he falls off please?” She turned to Grayson, exasperated. “Indy, come in, it’s cold.”

It was Indiana’s turn to laugh when Lisa hooked their arms together and led her into the house, leaving Grayson out in the snow. He grabbed the lights that Ethan had already gotten out, looping his arm through before he headed up the ladder at the lowest point of the roof. 

“I’ve already done the other side of the house, so I’m just here for moral support and to save your ass if I need to, my job is done,” Ethan explained, moving over to a spot by the chimney to sit down. 

“Oh yeah, you shoveled on a downhill slope, the horror,” Grayson muttered, but in all honesty he would rather do the lights himself anyways. 

They talked about the tiny homes and the final touches they needed while Grayson moved around the roof carefully, trying to counteract his balance when he got closer to the edge, cursing his mom silently for having roofs so high that they couldn’t do it from the top of a ladder. 

The front of the house went without incident, and Ethan begrudgingly helped by holding the extra lights while Gray strung them. But when Ethan went down the ladder to get the next strand to connect, he took a minute too long to come back up. Grayson tried to use what little patience he was born with, but it fizzled out quickly, making him stomp across the roof to the edge.

“Yo, what the fucks taking so long?”

“Gray.”

“Can you not find them or what?”

“Grayson.”

He didn’t like the tone of his brother’s voice.

“What? What happened?”

“Come down here.”

Grayson took the ladder so quickly that his feet almost slipped, but he was at his brother’s side in a moment, taking his phone that he had outstretched.

His stomach dropped into the snow under his feet as he began to scroll with a numb thumb. There were pictures. So many pictures, and Indy was in every single one of them. Tweet after tweet with different screenshots of the two of them - looking at the tree, ice skating, sitting in Jets, even walking down the street. He pieced it together, realized that the reason the girls had looked familiar was because they’d followed them. 

“Fuck. Fuck.”

Bile rose in his throat when he found a video, zoomed in as far as it would go with surprising quality as he pushed Indy along on the ice, towards the middle of the rink. He watched her squeeze his hands and laugh, watched himself turn her around so they could get their picture, watched himself kiss her cheek and her lips. 

He didn’t want to read, but he couldn’t help himself. There were a few familiar handles that talked about how happy they were for him, but the majority of it was exactly what he expected. 

So much for ‘working on himself’ he’s back on the constant girlfriend trend

Didn’t think she was his type but okayyyyy I guess 🥴

When we said we didn’t want Grayson to end up with an LA girl, we didn’t mean ~that~

Her insta is indiana.jamie, i’ve never even heard of her

The worst was a two set of images from Jet’s, where her face was in plain view. The second one had edited lighting, and was zoomed in on his pocket, with the text above it.

Look I know I sound crazy but WTF IS IN HIS POCKET? IS THAT A RING BOX? GRAY BABY NOOOOOOO

“Fuck.” He couldn’t find another word, and Ethan was no help. A call from Adele came in on his phone, and E looked at him for approval. He just nodded and let him answer, turning away and heading into the house, not even bothering to clean his boots.

“Dee! Indiana!”

“In here!” She called back and he jogged into the living room, not realizing he was breathless until he got there and saw that the tree had been assembled. She had an ornament in her hand when he ran in and she put it on the tree quickly, her stomach tightening at the look on his face.

“What happened? Are you okay?”

“Where’s your phone, have you looked at your phone?”

“It’s over there, it’s just been playing music. Baby what’s wrong?”

He ran over to it, muttering out a ‘shit’ when the screen lit up, both at the flood of notifications and the fact that her lockscreen had changed to their picture from the ice. 

“Woah.” She took her phone from him, unlocking it and heading after all the notifications on instagram. “Holy shit. I got 3,500 new followers, what the fuck?” 

“Indy, I’m so fucking sorry. I’m so sorry.”

She closed her phone and looked at him, putting a hand on his shoulder. “For what?”

“I should have thought about it, there’s not usually paps in New York, I didn’t even think about fans, and now everyone’s tweeting a bunch of bullshit about you, I’m just, fuck, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

“Slow down,” she murmured, hand moving to his face. She saw Lisa leave the room out of the corner of her eye, but she kept looking at Grayson. “It’s okay. We knew this was going to happen.”

“They saw the ring box in my pocket in some of the pictures, they probably think we’re fucking engaged, and they’re gonna be relentless. Every time you get online you’re gonna see some bullshit about you because of me.”

“Gray, it’s alright. It’s okay, I can handle it.”

“No, you can’t, nobody can, it’s gonna get to you. If you say it doesn’t effect you, you’re fucking lying.” He ran his hands through his hair and then down over his face, sucking in a breath that Indiana recognized. 

“Gray, don’t cry. Look, look.” She unlocked her phone again, exited instagram and held down until it shook, deleting it quickly from her phone. “I don’t even post much anyways. And I don’t have a twitter, I’m not gonna see what they say about me. I don’t care, I promise you I don’t.” 

Her gut told her a different story. Though it wasn’t her favorite quality of herself, Indy liked to be liked. It was natural, but she sought validation from other people more than she wanted to, and it made her dangerously curious to see what had caused such a visceral reaction in her boyfriend.

“I’m sorry,” he said again, dropping his head. She got up on her tiptoes and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“It’s okay. We’re okay. It’s not your fault.”

And for the first time in his almost three months of knowing Indiana, he didn’t believe her.

[glassbxttless]

I hope you all enjoy this ask I’m moving over here 😬

During your period Flip was always careful to keep the amount of noise to a dull roar. You were prone to sensory overload this time of the month and he wouldn’t be the cause of it again. He made your pancakes for breakfast and bought those marshmallows you craved. He let you cry your little heart out watching movies and holding onto his shirt, begging him to kiss it better. He gave you time to yourself, but always kept board games and puzzles nearby. And maybe he let you win when you played together.

On your period Daniel would break out the heating pad, stock up on snacks and old rom coms. You two would veg out on your chocolatey snacks all cuddled up in bed with the heating pad laid across your belly. Every now and again Daniel would press a kiss into your hair. He took each of your mood swings in stride, joked along with you, teases back as much as he could without making you cry. and he’d let you get comfy at the expense of his comfort, and he wouldn’t ask you to move— knowing how hard it was to get comfortable with an aching belly.

Judie loved your period a little too much. He loved you up and laid you down on a towel— period sex was his favorite sex, you were just entirely too fucking responsive. But his aftercare was always a bath, where he’d wash you up with a baby washcloth that he’d gotten specifically for this. It was soft on your skin and you enjoyed every bit of it. Jude hummed soft melodies as he did it, kissing your temple. He wrapped you up in warmed up pjs, and held you close to him in bed. Maybe he’d rub your tummy as you fell asleep.

a period with Charlie entailed a lot of back rubs. He made you dinner, ran a warm bath, and washed your hair as you relaxed. He didn’t care about the red tinge of bath water, he’d wash and rinse you off before he’d let you out of there. He rubbed your hips, let you lay across his lap for the pressure on your lower stomach. He braided your hair and scratched your scalp, loving that you’d press up into his hand like a little cat. Maybe he yearned for this time of the month where he just got to play with your hair and feed you bits of chocolate covered marzipan.

[mothgirl-is-fecking-tired]

My Supernatural Theory:

The whole show is Sam looking back at his life and telling the story to his son, Lil Dean. Bit like How I Met Your Mother.

He tells his son about his brave, kind and righteous Uncle Dean (that he's named after) and about the adventures they had and about the family they made along the way. Charly, Bobby, Kevin, Crowley, Rowena, Jack, Jody, Claire... He tells him about all the people he never got to meet, either because they're dead or because Sam stopped hunting and cut all the ropes to his former life.

And then he tells him about his Uncle Cas and the profound bond he and Dean shared and that they were best friends. That they used to look each other in the eyes for several minutes every time they met without talking or feeling weird about it. That Cas never understood "personal space" when it came to Dean but understood it well enough with everyone else around him. That Cas used to watch over Dean while he slept. That Cas rebelled against heaven for Dean. That Dean kept the Trench Coat after Cas died because that's what good friends do. That Cas was manipulated by Naomi to kill hundrets of Deans in heaven but when the time came he couldn't kill the real deal just because he begged him not to. That they went to purgatory (no, not the one in Miami even if Dean told their friend Garth that he went there as well one time) together and Dean refused to leave for a year until he had his angel back. He tells him about the time when Dean had the Mark of Kain and the things he did and that he only stopped because Cas asked him to, coincidentally just like Kains wife asked Kain to stop. He tells him that Dean was so so fecking depressed when Cas died AGAIN and weeped over his burned wings on the ground for HOURS. And when Cas died for the last time Dean just lost the light in his eyes. He even got a dog to watch the trashy movies with that he would usually watch with Cas but he was never the same again. And that, when Dean died, he did so with a smile on his face.

And then I like to imagine that Sam would say something like "they really were best friends" while smiling innocently and naive and Lil Dean and his mother would look each other dead in the eyes like:

[fred-george-fic]

In the Middle Pt. 19

George Weasley x Reader & Cedric Diggory x Reader (Previously)

~Masterlist~

A/N: I’ve decided to start using my header as my picture for this fic, I also went more of a book route with this chapter instead of the movie route (where the Burrow gets burnt down).

Summary: George, Fred and Y/N go to the Burrow for Christmas.

Word Count: 2420

Warnings: Mentions of death, slight violence

-------

Christmas at the Burrow

The next few months passed by without anything eventful occurring at the shop. You managed to study and help out at the shop. George informed you in December that the store was to be closed on Christmas eve and Christmas day so that you all could spend quality time at the Burrow with the rest of the family. The twins and yourself ensured to go shopping before heading towards the Burrow, finding a blue witches hat for Molly as well as gifts for the others.

The three of you apparate to the Burrow and you ensure to say ‘Hello’ to the gnomes in the garden, which you always did when you visited. You knew they were pests, however they were fun to observe when you got the chance. George and Fred laugh as you lean over the fencing, the tips of your toes barely reaching the dirt below. You thought for a second, wondering if Charlie would be here, remembering the few times the two of you would sit out and watch the gnomes together.

The three of you walk into the house, taking account of all the people around, at least taking over the living room. A tall red-headed boy approached you with a wide smile, “Y/N!” he exclaimed, pulling you into a hug.

“It’s great to see you too, Bill,” You laugh, “I heard something exciting happened over the summer?” You and Bill always got along, as you did with all the Weasley’s. You saw him more around the Burrow when you were younger, but soon his career path took up most of his time.

“Ah, yes!” He said, motioning for Fleur to come forward, “I believe you remember, Fleur,”

“Eez good to see you again, Y/N” Fleur says, in her thick accent. “I am sorry about ze tournament,”

You give her a small smile, “Don’t worry about it,” Bill and Fleur go back to sitting by the fire as Molly comes into the room, pulling each of you into a hug.

“I am so glad you’re all here!” Molly exclaims, as she returns to frantically walking around the house. Ginny does the same, offering you all a quick ‘Hello’ before running off with her mother. The three of you walk into the kitchen to see Harry and Ron.

“-Fred’s left buttock –“

“I beg your pardon?” Fred says, as the three of you walk into the room, “Look at this, they’re using knives and everything!”

“Just you wait, I’ll be seventeen in two months and will be able to be magic for everything!” Ron yells as George and Fred both sit at the table and put their feet up.

“So, Ronald,” George begins, “What is this we hear from Ginny about you and a young lady called Lavender Brown?”

“Mind your own business,” Ron says, cheeks turning pink.

“Is that why Hermione isn’t here?” You ask, mostly looking at Harry who gives you a look seeming like yes.

“What a snappy retort,” Fred says, “How did it happen?”

“What d’you mean?” Ron asks, looking at his brother with confusing,

“We just want to know; did she have an accident?” George asks.

“What?” Ron says, the expression only worsening.

“How did she sustain such extensive brain damage?” Fred laughs before his eyes go wide for a moment, “Careful now!”

Molly walks into the kitchen at the exact moment that Ron throws the knife he was using to cut sprouts at Fred, who flicks his wand and turns it into a paper airplane.

“Ronald Weasley!” Molly yells, “I better not see you throw a knife again!”

Ron just gave her a sour expression and mumbles something under his breath before returning to the sprouts.

“Fred, George, Remus is arriving tonight, so Bill is going to need to squeeze in with you two,” Molly then looks over at Harry and Ron, “You two boys are in the attic since Charlie isn’t coming home,” and finally at you, “Fleur will be sharing with you and Ginny,”

“That’ll make their Christmas,” Fred muttered under his breath. You shoot him a look at first and then roll your eyes.

“Ready to go George? Y/N?” Fred asks, standing up from the table.

“Where are you three going?” Ron asks, “Can’t you help us with these? You three can use your wands!”

“No, can’t do that,” Fred says, heading towards the door.

“Besides, I would recommend not throwing knifes at people who you want to help you,” George says, throwing the paper airplane at him.

After the two boys walk out of the kitchen, you flick your wand towards the sprouts, peeling them within a few seconds. “How about we surprise your brothers with a snowball fight?”

“Thanks Y/N!” Ron says, running out of the kitchen.

“Coming Harry?” You ask, looking at the boy who is still staring at the sprouts.

“I’ll be there soon,” Harry says. You give him a small nod and walk out to grabbing Ginny, Bill and Fleur on the way out. Once you step outside, you see Fred and George already teaming up to throw snowballs at Ron.

“Ron, you could’ve at least waited for us before provoking your brothers!” You laugh as Fred throws a snowball at Ron, almost hitting him.

“So, this was your idea!” George yells, throwing a snowball at you but missing and hitting Fleur.

“Ah, if a snowball fight ezz what you want, zen I must retaliate!” Fleur yells, creating a snowball and throwing it at the twins. Harry eventually comes out and hides with Ron, while you and Ginny take shelter elsewhere.

The snowballs continue to be thrown around by each of the teams. You and Ginny seem to be doing the best with the least amount of direct snowball hits on yourselves and a good amount on the others. You watch Ginny create a snowball to throw at Harry while you create one to throw at George.

“One, two, three... THROW!” You yell, each of you aiming at the boys and throwing. Yours lands directly on George’s head, snow covering his once bright red hair.

“I’ll get you for the Y/L/N!” He yells, leaving his cover and charging towards yours.

“Come and get me Weasley!” You yell, running from the cover away from George. You can feel the snowballs being thrown at the two of you by the others and you try your best to outrun him, but suddenly you feel his arms wrap around your waist as he pulls you down into the snow. The two of you land in a soft patch where the snow puffs up around you as the two of you laugh.

You can tell the others are no longer throwing snowballs at you, but now at each other as you and George lay in the snow away from them. George looks at you for a moment and takes in your appearance, with your pink nose and cheeks, snow caught in your hair, and wide smile. He kisses you then, deeply as you feel the coldness of his face melts in with yours.

You hear the crack of someone apparating nearby and the two of you look up, only to find Remus making his way towards the house. The others follow him in, chatting happily.

“Guess that’s our que to go in?” You ask, looking at George.

“Let’s just make ourselves a home out here and live out the rest of our days,” George says, slowly getting up from the snow.

“If we could do so, without freezing to death, I would take you up on that offer,” You laugh, taking George’s hand as he helps you up and the two of you walk back to the house, hand in hand.

Everyone was sitting in the living room listening to Molly’s favorite singer Celestina Warbeck, while playing Exploding Snap with Ginny, Fred and George. You kept hearing the music get louder, assuming it was an attempt to drown out Fleur’s excessively loud talking. You could see Harry talking to Arthur, while Remus was staring deeply into the fire.

Fleur looks over at you, as you sit with your back against the wall, legs thrown over George’s lap and cards in hand. You notice her looking at you and meet her eye with a small smile, only for her to blurt out a question you were not expecting, “Y/N, ‘ave you two considered getting married?”

Your eyes widen suddenly and the question gains the attention from most people in the room. You were unsure if Fleur was just curious or if it was an attempt to draw the attention away from Celestina Warbeck’s music. George also was speechless about the situation, staring at Fleur.

“I uh-“ You try to collect your words, not wanting to offend George, but also you hadn’t really thought about it.

“We haven’t had that discussion yet,” George says, looking over to you and offering your hand a squeeze. You smile at him with a thankful look. That seems to satisfy Fleur because she turns back to Bill quickly. You knew Molly was looking at you, trying to see if that was a possibility.

The music continues to play in the silence until Celestina ends on a high note and Molly sings along.

“Eez it over?” Fleur says loudly, “Thank goodness, zat was ‘orrible –“

“Nightcaps, anyone?” Arthur yells out, getting up, “Eggnog?”

Once he leaves the room, the four of you take some seats on the couch. Arthur comes by handing you and each of the twins an eggnog. You all were chatting excitedly until you suddenly heard Fleur begin singing one of Celestina’s songs, only to see the glare on Molly’s face. Everyone began to excuse themselves, leaving George, Fred, Ginny and yourself in the living room.

You yawn loudly, leaning your back against George, holding your cup in your hand. The question Fleur asked you earlier has been raddling in your head since they came out of her mouth. Mostly wondering if that was something you would consider or were even ready for.  You look over at Ginny, who you assume was still down here to wait for Fleur to go to bed so she did not have to suffer through some idle conversation with her. George wraps his arm around you while he talks to Fred about something involving the shop and you make small conversation with Ginny as your eyes slowly drift shut.

You’re woken up a little later by George, who whispers softly as he tries to wake you. “Why don’t you head upstairs, love?”

“Too tired, I’ll take the couch,” You whisper back at him, curling into a ball in the spot George was once sitting. You see him smile at you before kissing you on the forehead.

“Alright, goodnight Y/N. I’ll see you in the morning,” He kisses you softly and you hear him go up the stairs and whisper a quick, “I love you” before climbing up.

-------

You woke up early Christmas morning and check the time reading 5 AM on the clock. There was something you wanted to do this morning and Fleur’s question the day before had only fueled the need.

You put on some shoes and a warm jacket and made your way out of the Burrow and head into a direction that you have only walked once before. You trudged through the snow, making your way up a beautiful hill before reaching a headstone, sticking out of the snow. You crouch down and brush the snow off revealing the name, Cedric Diggory.

You stand up, letting the light wind play at your feet and in your hair. You consider for a moment what would have happened if Cedric was still here. Would you two still be together? What would that have meant for you and George? Or even with Fred?

You look up at the sky and notice a few snowflakes coming down. You try and shake the thoughts and let out a sigh.

“I’m sorry Ced, I wish you were still here. But, I also need to move on and accept life for what it has given me,” You blink away the burning feeling that is occurring in your eyes. “Thank you for everything,”

You turn around and make your way back towards the Burrow, slowly stepping through the front door. You don’t see anyone right away, but you can hear voices coming from the living area.

“What do you mean she’s not in your room?” You can hear George’s voice, echoing through the wall. Slowly, you peak around the corner and notice him talking to Ginny, who’s standing there arms crossed.

“She never came in last night and all the bathrooms are occupied by other guests,” Ginny says rolling her eyes, probably meaning Fleur. “I’m sure Y/N is fine, George” Molly says, patting him on the shoulder, “Why don’t you help me with breakfast, so you’re closer to the front door?”

You smile for a moment, knowing George must be wondering where you were, especially since you never told anyone where you were going. Plus, Molly’s attempts to get George to help always makes you laugh. You take the final step around the corner and cross your own arms.

“I leave the house for a few hours and you’re already interrogating all of your family members?” You laugh, gaining their attention.

“Y/N!” George yells out, quickly closing the distance and wrapping you in a warm hug. You quickly bury your head in his chest, taking in his warmth. He takes a step back and holds your face in his hands, “You’re freezing, love,”

“It started snowing again,” You say with a small laugh, “It was beginning to get pretty cold.”

George opens his mouth, about to ask you a question, possibly about where you’ve been this whole time when Harry, Ron, Fred and Remus come down the stairs.

“Y/N, could you help with breakfast?” Molly asks, walking past the two of you and into the kitchen.

“Of course, Molly,” You look to George and give him a quick kiss, “I’ll talk to you later?”

He smiles at you softly, the worry seeming to leave his face a bit and nods his head, letting you follow Molly into the kitchen. You begin helping her with breakfast for a while and enjoy the rest of Christmas with the family. George doesn’t pry about where you went again as the two of you enjoy Christmas together and the three of you head back to the shop the next day.

-------

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[allfandomxreader]

Before // Till Death Do Us Part

Paring: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: You always knew marriage was never easy, you’ve heard that all your life. But this doesn’t feel like a marriage anymore, and hasn’t for a long time.

Words: 2.7k

Part: 2/5

Main Masterlist // Series Masterlist

not my gif! 

It was a dreary day to say the least, it rained that morning and the humidity was still thick in the air. His shirt clung to his skin and his hand grew clammy in yours as the two of you walked under the brewing storm. He didn’t know where you were taking him, but that didn’t matter. Tom would follow you anywhere without batting an eye, without thinking twice.

You smiled at him when you caught him staring, and even though dark clouds hovered just above the city, threatening to cover the streets with rain at any given moment, Tom saw sunshine just by looking at you.

The two of you find your way into a garden, you pretended that was your plan all along. You didn’t want to admit you were lost, that you missed your destination a few streets back and if Tom knew that, he didn’t mention it. This was just another adventure the two of you would laugh about later, one that you’d remember for years to come.

You talk absentmindedly as you pass flowers, stopping to smell some, but Tom’s mind was elsewhere. He could only think about the small velvet box hidden in his pocket. Tom’s held onto it for so long he’s surprised it hasn’t imprinted his jeans yet.

Tom knew you were the one for a while. He told Harrison he wanted to marry you only a few months into dating. Of course, Harrison laughed at the time saying, “Oh, you’re whipped, mate.” but the second he saw the two of you together, he understood. And everyone saw it, not just Harrison, from friends and family to strangers on the street. It was undeniable that you and Tom were made for one another.

It wasn’t the way you always laughed even when his joke wasn’t funny, or how you always held his hand in the car no matter how short the drive may be. It wasn’t even how you’d fly for hours just to see him for a few days at a time. Of course, he appreciated all this, but it was something more.

It was the way you could see him, how you could truly understand him. How you didn’t need to ask to know what he needed. How you always had the right words to say when he was on top of the world or when it was falling apart. It’s the way you said you loved him, time and time again no matter how hard things got. The list could go on and on. Tom could never run out of words to explain why he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you.

You stopped walking when you couldn’t hear his footsteps anymore. You figured he probably got distracted by the clouds again or for whatever reason wanted to take a picture of the nearby rose bush. But when you turned, you saw he was down on one knee. For a moment, you thought he was just tying his shoes, but the box he held towards you confirmed otherwise.

You never really thought about marriage, even when all your friends from college started posting their engagement photos and sending their save the dates. And of all the conversations you’ve had, the two of you never even talked about marriage, you never alluded to the future or even glanced at the ring displays when passing the jewelers.

But it was the way he looked up at you. He looked at you like you were a masterpiece in the middle of a gallery and he could stare for hours. And in that moment, all you wanted to do was say yes.

“Y/N—”

“Yes!” You beamed taking two strides to meet him, ignoring the tears that pricked your eyes as you kneeled to his level.

“You’re not even going to listen to what I have to say?” He laughed.

“Oh, right, sorry.” You pushed away tears with your fingertips as he took your hand into his.

“Y/N, I can’t go another day without knowing you’ll be mine forever,” He cleared his throat, his own tears threatened to spill. “Will you make me the happiest man alive and marry me?”

You only nodded, unable to form words as he slipped the ring onto your finger. The two of you kissed, smiling into one another like there was no other place in the world you’d rather be.

The wedding was quick to follow, the two of you eager to start the rest of your lives together. In all honesty, Tom could’ve married you that very same day. He could’ve married you after the rain started to pour, in your soaked clothes and running mascara, in his sloshy shoes and wet hair. He would’ve done it in a heartbeat. But the two of you wanted to celebrate surrounded by friends and family. He wanted to see you in a dress, he wanted to stand beside Harrison, and you wanted to stand beside Z.

Luckily, it was a beautiful day for a wedding, unlike the day of your engagement. The sun was shining and the air was warm as Tom stood at the altar. He scanned the faces of his loved ones, trying his best to ease the nerves. Everyone was smiling, there were a few cameras flashing and chatter amongst the guests. But it all quieted once the music started playing and you stepped out.

Time stopped all together when you made eye contact. You didn’t focus on everyone when they stood from their seats, you couldn’t hear the camera clicks anymore, or the quiet sniffles. You could only focus on Tom.

Tom knew he’d be a puddle of tears as soon as he saw you, and he was right. You looked breathtaking in the dress he begged to get a glimpse of. He wanted to run to you right then and there, to meet you halfway and marry you in the middle of the aisle, he didn’t want to wait a second longer.

It felt like an eternity as you made your way down. He kept wiping away his tears to make sure he could look at you fully, to try his best to savor the moment. When you finally reached him, he took your hand into yours the second Zendaya took your bouquet. He mouthed I love you, and you mouthed it back.

You couldn’t follow a single word as the officiant talked. You spent the time trying your best to not ruin your pristine makeup while wiping away tears. You never stopped smiling at the man in front of you, too absorbed your own thoughts that consisted of him, dreaming of the life you’d have together.

The two of you somehow managed to get through your vows. Your voices were shaky and you both hiccupped through phrases but you wished it could’ve lasted forever. You mimicked the speech of the officiant, word for word, not once looking away from each other’s eyes.

“Till death do us part.” You say in unison, waiting for the cue to kiss your groom, and to officially become Mr. and Mrs. Holland.

Life kept moving when you returned from the honeymoon. Tom had another movie to film and you went along with him, neither one of you ready to be apart quite yet. You went to premiers and sat through interviews, you wore fancy dresses to red carpets, and spent most of the time either on planes or in hotel rooms. You traveled the world, tried new foods, and took too many pictures at the world’s greatest landmarks. You did it all beside the love of your life.

And that’s how life was for the first two years. But the constant travel came to a halt when you waved a positive pregnancy test in the air. Tom was over the moon. He picked you up and spun you around the hotel room as you both laughed and cried. “We’re going to be parents, Y/N!” Was all he could say for the next hour.

He told stories to the baby every night before bed, always made sure you took your vitamins at the correct time and not a minute later. He sat through every doctor’s appointment, holding your hand and crying alongside you while hearing the heartbeat for the very first time.

The two of you bought a house far too big for just the both of you but a perfect size for a growing family. You wasted no time decorating the nursery for a baby girl. He packed the hospital bag a month in advance, sitting it by the door and another in the trunk of the car. “Just in case. I want to be prepared.” He’d say when you laughed and asked if he was going overboard.

He held your hand in the delivery room for hours on end, not even flinching when he most definitely thought you broke his. But it was all worth it once the bundle was placed in your arms. He cooed at the baby who slept peacefully, he cried all over again when her hand squeezed his finger, he swore he was the happiest man alive.

“Charlotte,” He said abruptly, eyes never leaving her face, “I think we should name her Charlotte.” You smiled at him, it wasn’t your first pick, it wasn’t even on the list you’ve discussed time and time again. But it sounded beautiful when he said it.

It was all the same two years later upon the arrival of your son.

Tom was the world’s best dad to your children, there was no question about it. He read them stories when he could, he’d play princess and have tea parties when Charlie asked. He wrestled with Aiden and even coached the toddler’s baseball team a few summers. Those kids had him wrapped around their finger.

And that was the most painful part of it all. The way you can visibly see their hearts break when Tom has to leave for filming or the way that Tom would promise to be home by Wednesday and wouldn’t arrive until Friday.

By now, they understand that Tom’s career takes him all over the globe and why he wouldn’t be back for a few months. That was the norm of the household, it always has been. What they don’t understand is why he stopped coming up to dance recitals or why he stopped coaching the little league baseball team when it was never a problem before. You’d be fooling yourself if you weren’t wondering the same thing.

Of course, you understand it more. Tom’s schedule has always been changing, never set in stone. But when Tom promises something to them –a pinky promise at that— and doesn’t show, to an eight and six-year-old, it’s the end of the world. Charlie cried for hours when Tom wasn’t at her last recital. Aiden cries when he’s been looking forward to calling his dad at night only for him to not answer.

You sigh, watching them stare out the window, their movie long forgotten and nothing but background noise by now. “Come on you two,” You say standing from the couch when you see the clock strike eleven. Tom should’ve been here hours ago. “Let’s get you to bed.”

“But Daddy’s not here yet,” Charlie pouts, but reluctantly stands from her spot.

“I think his flight got delayed,” You lie effortlessly, something you’ve been doing a lot more than you’d like to admit lately.

You carry Aiden to his bed while Charlie settles into her own across the hall, their nightly routine already done for the evening. Aiden’s already sound asleep by the time you tuck the spaceship blanket under his chin. Charlie’s eyes are heavy by the time you kiss her goodnight and flick off the light to her bedroom.

Downstairs, you walk through the hall on the way into the kitchen. You stop as you pass the photos hung on the wall. In one, each of you are smiling, your happiness frozen in a frame. Aiden sticks his tongue towards the camera, you couldn’t ever get an actual smile out of him. Tom holds Charlie on his hip and she’s smiling at him like he puts the stars in the sky. It was the last family photo you’ve ever taken, almost a year ago.

The door doesn’t open until around midnight, Tom follows the light from the hallway and into the kitchen where you sit at the table, back facing him.

“Where have you been?” Your voice is calm as you ask the question. You aren’t looking for a fight, nor do you want to have one. Fighting these days seems pointless, it never gets you anywhere.

The distance between you and Tom started slowly. The cracks in the foundation you both tried so hard to build only grew over time. They went unnoticed at first. Fights used to be solved with a sincere apology and a kiss goodnight. And now, arguments are left unfinished and you almost always find yourself sleeping alone. You once believed that the two of you could get through anything, now that seems so naïve, almost like childish thinking.  

“Harrison and I grabbed a drink when our flight landed,” He explained, “Sorry, I meant to call you.” He takes the chair opposite from you, rubbing his face with palms when he’s seated.

“You went out with Harrison? Your best friend who you’ve been with almost every day for the past six months?” It’s more accusatory than you wanted it to sound, you didn’t mean for it to come out as harsh as it did.

“Yeah,” Tom’s brows knit into something like annoyance, maybe confusion. You can’t tell, you can’t read him like the way you used to. “I didn’t know it’d be a problem.”

“It’s a problem when you’ve been gone for so long, Tom.” You snap, your sudden outburst gaining his full attention, “It’s a problem when my kids were up waiting three hours past their bedtime because they wanted to welcome you home. It’s a problem when you decided to not be a husband but to be a best friend.” You try your hardest to keep your voice down, to make sure not to disrupt the sleeping bodies upstairs. This isn’t how you’d want them to be reunited with their dad.

“I’m sorry, your kids?” He shakes his head, as if to understand if he heard you correctly.  

“You don’t get to do that,” You say firmly, an edge creeping into your voice, “You don’t get to come home after months of being gone, after months of disappointing them, after months of not picking up your phone and taking just an hour of your day to talk to them. And then to sit there and be offended when they’re suddenly my kids? Yes, they’re my kids. And if you were around enough –if you even bothered to be a father to them these days, they could be yours too.”

Tom only stares at you, mouth unmoving, eyes staring straight into yours.

“Nothing? You have nothing to say?” You scoff, rolling your eyes. You place your elbows onto the table, taking your head into your hands for a moment. You wipe away the anger, you wipe away any sign of your heart breaking with a single swipe of your hands. “You’re exhausting,” You say shaking your head and leaning back into your seat. “I’m done, I can’t do this anymore.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I want a divorce.” The words escape your lips all too quickly. You don’t even realize that’s what you wanted to say, that that’s how you were feeling. But it’s too late and you can’t take them back as much as you desperately want to.

His body wilts, his mouth hangs open to speak but no words follow. He looks to the kitchen tile, unable to hold your unwavering gaze any longer. You want him to fight for you, to string together any form of words as an apology, to give any sort of explanation.

You want him to get up, to hold you the way he used to so many years before, to say he’ll try better this time, that he can’t lose you. Tom Holland always knew what to say, but now, sitting across from you he’s at a loss.

And finally, when looks at you in the eye once more, when he’s found enough courage to speak, he can only say, “If that’s what you want.”

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[since0202]

Chapter 19: Claim

Warning: Implied Sexual Content

The hunt for Victoria was on. 

Now that the Cullens were back and they realized the danger that Victoria still presented, they doubled their efforts of tracking her on their territory. Grace was swamped with finals prep and Sam told her they had it handled for the time being, so she sat out on night rounds for now. 

Jake was busy hunting Victoria so he hadn’t stopped by her texted since that afternoon they fell asleep together. She promised herself that as soon as things calmed down, she was going to ask him the questions she needed to: Why did he try to kiss Bella? Was he in love with her? What did that make Grace to him? What did this all mean? 

The questions circled her head as she sat in her AP English class. Bella tapped her shoulder with the eraser end of her pencil. Grace looked over and gave her a gentle smile 

“Hey, you okay?” Bella asked. Grace nodded and turned back to her notes. 

Grace did know that she could just ask Bella about what happened between her and Jake. She would be honest at least and forthcoming. She had Edward so there was no reason to stymy any details. But Grace knew that Bella didn’t feel intensely for Jake, so it wasn’t really her feelings that she needed to clear up. Still, she might as well ask. 

Just as she went to raise her hand to answer a question her teacher posed about the significance of the birds in James Joyce’s novel “Portrait of an Artist as a Young Man”, her phone buzzed. Sidetracked now, she flipped it open. 

SMS Text— 2:33 p.m.: Paul

Are you ready to talk yet? 

I promise I’m cool as a cucumber. 

And then there was Paul. Her heart ached every time she thought about him. In any other life, Grace knew she would have readily chosen Paul to be with for the rest of her life. He was so kind and soft and gentle with her. His anger was frightening but never directed at her. She always felt exceedingly safe with him, however, this wasn’t any other life. And being with him meant understanding that something was always going to be missing, no matter what he did. And that wasn’t fair to him. 

Grace had asked him to give her some time, what with finals coming up and needing to wrap her head around everything. She also wanted to give him time to cool off as his territorialness over Grace increased once he found out about her and Jake’s afternoon together.  

She wrote a hasty reply back saying they’d talk this weekend, in person, and then shut her phone and buried it deep in her bag. Bella had been watching her do this the whole time and Grace looked over to give her a reassuring smile. But worry was painted clear on Bella’s face. 

Once the day was over, Grace and Bella walked toward their truck. Relieved that it was finally the weekend and the start of Spring Break, Grace began organizing all of the studying, essays, and projects she needed to do in her head. She had as far as next Wednesday mapped out when Bella slammed the driver side door of the truck and looked over at Grace. 

“Hey,” Bella said, her face a little unsure. 

“Hey,” Grace said, a little confused. 

“Um, so. Would you want to have a sleepover with me and Alice?” As the words tumbled out of her mouth, Bella outwardly cringed. 

“We...we sleep in the same room every night. But yes? I guess?” Grace said laughing a little. 

“No, I mean, Edward still won’t let me go down to the rez and everyone except Rosalie and Alice are going hunting. And so he asked me to stay the night at his place with Rosalie and Alice just to be safe.” Bella said all of this very quickly. Grace looked at her skeptically for a moment. 

“I thought you liked Alice,” she said. 

“I do!” Bella said, “I just, I would just feel better if you were there. And I know we haven’t gotten to spend a lot of time together since Edward got back and I--” Bella looked at Grace’s face that was pulled into a broad smile, “Just forget it. It’s stupid.”

“No! No, Bella!” Grace laughed, “It’s just not very….you? I don’t know. Of course I’ll have a sleepover with you. In a vampire coven’s home. On land I’ve been specifically forbidden to enter.” 

Bella’s eyes went wide in distress. 

“Sounds fun,” Grace concluded. 

“Oh god,” Bella said, “If this is gonna get you in trouble with Sam or…..Jake.” Bella again lightly cringed when she said his name, more for Grace’s sake than hers. “Then really. Do not worry about it. I just thought-” 

“No, I’m coming.” Grace interjected joyfully. It was true, Sam had told her to never go to the Cullen’s house again. But she wanted to prove once and for all that they posed no threat to them. Sleeping over seemed like a dangerous enough feat that would show that. Plus, if Grace gathered any intel on the vampires, that might be enough consolation for Sam not to totally take her head off.

Or maybe, it was just the old rebellion rising up in her again. She hadn’t felt this need to disobey every order thrown at her since right after her father died. Something in her kept telling her to push harder and harder, just to see how far enough she could go. 

Bella gave a small smile and said “Thanks.” 

When they got home, they both bolted upstairs to pack a bag, a weird pulsing joy moving through both of them. Grace felt like she was a 6th grader, invited to the popular girl’s party and she didn’t know why. Bella was just thrilled Grace was coming. 

When they both tumbled back down the stairs together, arm and arm, and whispering about something they had heard that day, Charlie was just coming through the front door. 

“Where do you two think you’re going?” Charlie raised an eyebrow. “Far as I know, you two are still grounded.” 

“Dad,” Bella groaned. 

“Jessica invited us to a slumber party at her house to kick off spring break,” Grace quickly interjected. She thought mentioning a town girl instead of a rez girl would keep Charlie from double checking a story since he knew of Jessica, but didn’t have enough face time to place her in town. 

“Jessica?” Charlie said. 

“Yeah, is that okay? We wanted a,” Bella paused, the words making her cringe ever so slightly, “A girl’s night.”

Charlie seemed pleased that this seemingly had nothing to do with Edward. 

“Pleeeease, please please please,” Grace feigned begging. 

“Alright, alright,” Charlie said. “A slumber party?” 

“Yes!” they both said in unison. 

“No boys?” Charlie confirmed. 

“Dad.” 

“No boys allowed!” Grace replied. 

“Alright then, have fun.” Charlie said stepping aside and trying to conceal a smile. 

“Yessss!” Grace bounded out the door and Bella lagged behind to hug Charlie goodbye. 

When they pulled into the driveway of the Cullen house, Grace had to stop herself from admiring the sheer immense beauty of the home in the daylight. The windows glittered in the low light sun still and the trees shimmered in bloom. As they hopped down from the truck, Edward was already down the steps to greet them. 

“Grace. Good of you join,” Edward said politely. He wrapped his arm around Bella pulling her into his side and taking her bag. 

“Of course. Any chance to hang with some vampires,” Grace said nonchalantly. As they walked through the house and up the stairs, Edward guided them toward the kitchen. When the huge island countertop came into view, Grace gasped at the fanfare of food, party snacks, and candy littering the counter. 

“Thought we’d lean into the sleepover theme,” Esme said kindly from behind the counter. 

“You didn’t have to go to this much trouble,” Bella breathed. Esme waved a dismissive hand at her and beamed. 

“Wow,” Grace breathed. Suddenly Carlisle was beside her taking her bag from her shoulder. 

“I’ll place this up in the guest room for you. Good to see you, Grace,” Carlisle nodded. 

“Likewise,” Grace said sincerely back. Something about Carlisle’s calm demeanor and sincere stare put Grace at ease. 

He was back in a flash and then nodded to the others, “Ready? We should get going if we’re going to make it by nightfall.” The others agreed and said their goodbyes to their partners. Edward held onto Bella for just a little bit longer than anyone else and then quickly departed leaving Alice, Grace, and Bella in the kitchen. 

“Rosalie’s just running a quick errand, she’ll be back,” Alice said. “Okay, so what first! Nails? Face masks? Hair braids?” Alice was clapping her hands together on every suggestion. Bella’s anxiety climbed more and more and Grace’s eyes grew bigger and bigger with glee at each suggestion. 

When Rosalie entered the converted dining room that Alice had made into a very high end blanket force with gauzy curtains, colorful pouf pillows, and lush faux fur blankets, she was surprised to see everyone on the floor in some state of disarray. Sleepless in Seattle played on the too big TV above the fireplace. Grace was pulling on Red Vines and clasping a magazine in her hand, staring at it seriously, with mashed avocado smeared across her face. Bella, also clad in green avocado, had an intricate braid winding over her most of her head that Alice had perfected and placed flowers throughout and was taking bites of pretzels and popcorn while tracing her pencil over a crossword puzzle. She intermittently answered Grace’s questions while Alice bounded from the tent and back again with another concoction from the kitchen to now slather over Grace’s free hand. 

“When you’re alone, what’s your favorite activity to do together? A) Gaze adoringly into each other’s eyes in a field of flowers….Bit specific.” Grace said in between bites of her Red Vine,  “B) Do some dare devil defying feat. C) Go out to eat followed by a late night movie. Or D) Go to a party and get silly.” 

“What are you three doing?” Rosalie said a little surprised, with wonder filling her face. 

“We’re trying to figure out how old Edward is based on their relationship traits with this Cosmo quiz,” Grace replied, her eyes still focused intensely on the page in front of her. 

“Oh.” Rosalie said looking around the room, “You should really condition your hair with egg whites.” She suggested as she saw Alice rubbing coconut oil through Grace’s hair. 

“Is this a way for you to get to crack eggs on my head or something?” Grace asked as Bella tried to conceal a laugh. 

“No! It’s just an old trick I remember from my time,” Rosalie said matter-of-factly, “Here I’ll show you.” She strode over to the refrigerator and started gently separating eggs in a bowl. 

“Answer the question, Bella,” Alice prompted. Bella snapped back to attention. 

“Ummm, A I guess?” She replied with an embarrassed smile.” 

“Yeah, we all knew it was A, no need to fret,” Grace said pressing on. Rosalie settled behind Grace expertly draping a towel over her shoulders with a satisfied smile on her face before expertly applying the whisked egg whites. 

The night pressed on with too much food, rinsing their hair in the sink and having to advise on temperature to two people who couldn’t perceive temperature, and quoting Roman Holiday. Bella fell asleep just after midnight and Alice carried her up to Edward’s room that was repurposed into a guest room. 

When Grace turned in for the night, she heard her phone beep. 

SMS Text—12:32 a.m.: Paul 

Meet me at my place and I won’t tell Sam where you are right now. ;)

Grace let out a surprised laugh. She expected someone to eventually figure out where she was but the cheeky jibe from Paul was unexpected. 

SMS Text—12:33 a.m.: Grace

Are you threatening me, Paul Lahote? 

SMS Text—12:33 a.m.: Paul

Come and find out, Spirit Bird. 

Grace was definitely intrigued. Maybe it was the expert styling of her hair from Rosalie or the glow from her avocado face mask, or the fact that she hadn’t heard from Jacob in days and she was starting to think he regretted it. Whatever it was, she gathered her coat and made her way out to the forest. Rosalie gave her a confused look as she passed the living room but didn’t try to stop her. 

She jogged the short mile and a half to the rez border and once she crossed onto her territory, she quickly recast and landed in front of Paul’s quaint home. It was a tiny little one bedroom with a wrap around porch and modest kitchen. He didn’t spend much time there, but Grace had been there once or twice before when he swung by to grab something before taking her home. She skipped up the porch steps and before she could even knock on the door, he pulled it open. Shirtless as always, he smiled and nodded his head over his shoulder to beckon her inside. She gladly ducked inside. 

Grace didn’t exactly know why she came. She thought about making amends, talking about what happened like he had asked, but when she turned to look toward Paul after walking across the short length of her living room, it didn’t really seem like he was all too concerned with betrayal anymore. He looked her up and down appreciatively, taking his time to take her all in. The old fire rose in Grace once again and she smiled warmly at him. While the ache of that familiar absence remained where she knew Jake fit, she was able to keep it quiet, just for now. 

“So do you always text girls past midnight who happen to be hanging out with low risk vampires?” Grace said nonchalantly. 

“I guess, at least I do when the girl looks as good as you,” Paul said seriously. Grace blushed. 

“So you’re not mad? Don’t want to yell at me about betraying the pack and all that?” Grace pressed. 

“Not if you don’t want me too,” Paul said, crossing his arms over his broad chest. Grace shook her head no. “Good, then I won’t and we can do something better instead.” 

“Better?” 

“Better.” he looked at her trying to figure out something before he said, “I’m tired of this back and forth. Who chooses who and all that. So, I’m laying claim.” 

“What do you mean?” Grace said, her heart starting to beat faster. She felt like she was on the precipice of something that she might not be able to come back from. Paul crossed the small room in three quick strides and scooped her up, pulling her legs to wrap around his lower torso and holding onto her back before saying in the softest voice Grace could ever imagine he was capable of: 

“I’m calling you mine.” With that, he pressed his lips firmly to hers, his breath hot and wanting as he parted his lips and ran his tongue across hers. Grace responded easily, allowing the feeling of warmth to crash through her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer to her. 

He easily steered them down the narrow hallway back toward his room without breaking the kiss. He was keen on keeping hands on her at all times. When he sat down on the bed, she perched in his lap, kneeling over him as he kissed her neck softly, running his hands gently down her sides before deftly pulling at her shirt. She obliged and slowly peeled off the soft t-shirt as he pressed his lips to her collarbone and shoulders, pulling one bra strap down gently with his index finger to gain full access to her shoulder. 

Grace shivered at his touch and let her hands roam down his neck to his chest and arms. He captured her gaze and stopped for a moment, searching her eyes lovingly before placing a hand behind her head and pulling her to him for a deeper kiss. With his other hand, he quickly unsnapped her bra and Grace let it slip from her arms and tossed it aside before pressing her chest to his. He let out a soft groan as their bodies connected and placed both of his hands on her naked back, pressing her roughly to him for a moment before swinging her around to lay flat on the bed. 

He kneeled over her now, leaning up to stare at her for just a minute before kissing down her neck and chest, his hands making quick work of her jean button. He shimmied her out of her jeans and quickly discarded his own shorts before gently sliding her underwear down her legs, kissing at her thigh and calf as he went. 

Grace let small gasps of breath escape, allowing herself to relax into this feeling with him. Whatever voice in her that was telling her no, she had stopped listening and the voice had grown quiet. When he finally slipped out of his boxer shorts and hovered over her, Grace opening to him and looping her hands confidently behind his head, he stopped for a moment once more. 

His eyes poured into hers and Grace felt intensely loved, more than she had felt in her entire life. The fact that a singular human would look at her like that made her whole lower body tremble.  

“Grace Alo, you are the most beautiful, mysterious, and frustrating woman I’ve ever met,” Paul said, heady breaths flowing across Grace’s face. She felt intoxicated by them. He paused again brushing his lips to hers and Grace arched her hips instinctively. He pulled away and leaned back for a moment to take his whole face in and said, “Promise me that you’re mine.” 

Grace looked up at him and cupped both hands to his face before whispering, “I promise.” He gave her another achingly sweet smile before pushing forward, resulting in Grace gasping and clutching tightly around his neck in wanting rhythm. 

[bqstqnbruin]

40 Charlie McAvoy

40. “You can build a fire? When did you ever learn that?” 

Happy blurb weekend!

_____________

Fifteen years of marriage to Charlie had been wonderful, resulting in happiness, health, and three beautiful children. Your anniversary was one of your favorite days, Charlie always doing something big and grand for it no matter where he was in the country. This year, now that he was retired, he took the family up to a cabin in Vermont, a weekend getaway where your kids were able to spend plenty of time off on their own, leaving the two of you with some peace and quiet for extended periods of time. 

You walk into the cabin, your kids running off immediately to claim the rooms they wanted. “We should move here,” you say, Charlie dropping his bags, wrapping his arms around you from behind.

“Seems like too far of a commute,” he tells you, leading you off to what would be your bedroom as the kids sprint past you, running outside to go explore. “Your phones need to stay on!” he yells at them, clearly anxious at the prospect of them wandering free.

“You have that tracking app on all their phones. You always know where they are. Do not worry,” you tell him, knowing that he wasn’t going to listen to you. “This place is safe! I would wander around by myself without a phone all the time when we came up here,” you recall, thinking back to the house your family used to own in the area. 

He seems to buy it, leading you into the bedroom for some much needed alone time from the kids. The kids, thankfully, were gone for hours, the first real moments you had alone with your husband in what felt like years. 

You hear your oldest, Camden come barling into the house followed by Ellie Rose and DJ, all three of them shouting at each other for something you had a feeling you didn’t want to know about. 

You and Charlie emerge from the bedroom, the three of them sitting on the couch still bickering. “Ok, what happened?” you ask, plopping down with your kids, Charlie standing over them.

“DJ kept getting in the way of the photo I was trying to take!” Ellie Rose whines, DJ sitting there trying to stifle the laugh that was obviously about to burst from him.

“DJ, why did you do that?” you ask, Charlie muttering something under his breath while he wanders to the kitchen, presumably to start dinner.

“Camden said it would be funny,” your youngest admits, Camden yelling at him for ratting him out. 

“So Camden, you know what you’re going to do?”

“Oh, no,” he groans, knowing that he wasn’t going to like it. 

“Tomorrow, you’re going to take your sister out and you’re going to let her take pictures of whatever she wants. And, I want a picture of all three of you,” you say, knowing it was dumb. But to your fourteen year old, you knew it was exactly what he didn’t want to do. He hated his sister’s constant picture-taking of everything, which is probably why he had his younger brother mess up every photo of that she tried to take.

“But mom!” he whines, you holding up your hand as a signal to stop.

“Either that or you get to stay in the house the entire week and only get TV and internet when all five of us are home.” He scoffs at you, starting to say something before you cut him off, “I mean, one is much more unreasonable and the other gives me a nice memory of the trip your father so kindly arranged for our anniversary. Now, who wants to go help Dad make dinner?” 

“I will!” Ellie Rose jumps off the couch, leaving you with your two sons to scroll through the tv stations. 

You find some stupid movie, sitting there with a son on each side of you. 

“Mom, it’s kinda cold,” Camden shivers, getting up to walk over to the fire place. “Can I do the fire?”

“Do you know how?”

He turns around, giving you a look that begs you to question his ability, turning back and building one anyway. 

Charlie and Ellie Rose come in with the food, Camden mid-build. “You can build a fire? When did you ever learn that?” Charlie asks, clearly concerned and slightly panicked by your trust in your son with something like fire.

“Summer camp. Dad, chill.” 

“Dad, chill?” he asks, turning to you, Ellie Rose and DJ unable to hold back their laughter. “He said ‘Dad, chill!’ When does that ever work?” 

“Virtually never, but that you still need to try,” you tell him, giving him a quick kiss as the two kids watching groan, Camden finally getting the fire going to bring more heat into the house. 

The five of you eat your dinner with the movie playing in the background, DJ engrossed in what was happening on the screen while the other four of you talked over it. You get up to help Charlie clean up, the two of you in a comfortable silence as you wash the dishes and put everything away. 

You go back to the living room, all three kids cuddled up next to each other asleep. It wasn’t even that late, so you were surprised that they were already out, but you felt yourself melt as you motioned to Charlie to get your phone to take a picture. He comes up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist. “They look so peaceful.” 

He kisses your cheek, holding you tight. “It’ll only last until they wake up.” 

“Worth it.”