#he learns to lie and charm and cheat and all the while hes a fucking CHILD WHO STILL STRUGGLES WITH NORMAL THINGS

[devotedlystrangewizard]

the school arc to me is so good because it drags ciel out of his position as a powerful figure and literally places him in the shoes of the person he could have been. the circus arc ALSO drags him out of his position as big bad queens watch dog/head of the phantomhive estate but the school arc feels like a mockery of a future that never was. this is what he could have been had his parents not died. and even then its NOT because he will never be that kid.

he never was.

[iiconicxpersona]

Make It Right

Jay White x Fem Reader x Juice Robinson

Ch. 3, find the previous chapter here

Masterlist

Word count: 1,114

You turned slowly on your heels to face Juice, keeping your composure. “What?”

“I said, ‘so where the fuck have you been all night?’” He snapped back.

The whole time he had not moved from his spot on the edge of the bed. You weren’t sure why but that scared you more than if he had charged at you.

You took a moment not only to process what he actually said but to come up with a reasonable lie. “I went to get my own room.”

He chuckled. “Really? Because I asked the hotel clerk last night if they had seen you or if you checked into another room and she said ‘no’. So try again.”

The look he gave you sent chills down your spine. Now that he had crossed the line between emotional and physical abuse, there was no end to his unpredictability now.

“I went to a different hotel.” You boldly stated.

“Which one?” He was getting impatient.

“Does it matter!?” You snapped.

“Yes! It does! You’re my girlfriend and I need to know where you are at all fucking times! Especially in different cities! What the fuck is wrong with you!?” He snapped in return.

“What’s wrong with me!? Were you so drunk that you don’t remember calling me a whore? Or hitting me!? All I wanted was a couple of hours to myself and have some fun for once!”

Juice looked at you in disbelief. “I’m sorry that I hit you, but just because we had one little fight, that doesn’t mean you can take off anywhere you want!”

You scoffed. “One little fight!? Juice you’ve been a complete asshole to me ever since you turned heel! And then you embarrassed me by cheating on me with Toni Storm while I was at home visiting my mom! But yet I’m the bad guy here!? How is that fair to me!?”

For the first time in a long time, Juice was speechless. Nothing he could say could possibly defend his behavior lately and he knew it. You began to wonder if he genuinely felt bad or if he was trying to come up with another lie. One thing was for sure either way; he couldn’t bare to look at you. It was bad enough he could hear the pain in your voice.

“I’m done Juice. I can’t do this anymore. I love you but lately I don’t even know if you love me back, and I’m not going wait for you to figure it out. I think we need to take a break so I’m going home.”

“No!” Juice shot up from the edge of the bed and raced you to the door. With one hand he pushed it closed and wiggled his way in front of you. His expression pleading you to hear him out. “Look, I know I’ve been a jerk lately and I shouldn’t be. I love you and I want to marry you one day, but if we’re gonna make this work then baby you gotta learn to meet me halfway. It ain’t easy being in the spotlight all the time. You know that! And I know I shouldn’t have cheated on you. I can’t excuse that.” He cups your face gently. “All I ask is that you forgive me and we can start over.”

You were skeptical, but the look he had in his eyes was soft and for a split second you saw the Juice Robinson you knew and loved. Your heart skipped a beat and you nodded before you pulled each other in for a heated kiss and for the first time in a long time you and Juice spent the morning intertwined in the most passionate love making.

——

It had been a week since you last spoken to Jay. You tried your best to avoid him at all costs in hopes that he would just forget about you and move on. You were determined to make things right with Juice, but you would be lying if you said you didn’t think about Jay at all. More often than not you would find yourself staring at him and remembering his gentle touch or how his kiss made you feel euphoric from head to toe. You tried to convince yourself it meant nothing, but that didn’t stop you from picturing him during sex with Juice.

Jay has it all: looks, charisma, charm, and the body of a Greek God. He could have any woman or man he wanted by just smiling at them. There’s no reason for him to be hung up on you, but you had noticed that ever since your time together he hasn’t been with anyone else. You found yourself giddy at the thought, but then you��d catch him staring at you and Juice together and he genuinely seemed hurt but he would find ways to hide it.

——

One morning you were up earlier than Juice and decided to get in a good morning workout at the hotel gym. You left him a note before quietly sneaking out of the room. Once you got to the gym, you noticed that there was one more person making use of the room: Jay White. You stood by the door watching him and pretending to stretch at the same time. God he’s so hot, especially while he’s laser focused on his workout. When he finally noticed your reflection in the mirror, he stopped his workout and removed his headphones. He was drenched in sweat and his loose tank top barely hid anything. “I thought you were going to break up with him? What happened?”

And just like that you went from admiring him to feeling guilty. “We just had a moment of weakness. That’s all. We’re going to work things out.”

He nodded even though he didn’t believe you. “So if you had told me to fuck you that morning, would that have been a moment of weakness too?”

You could feel your heart breaking and your heart and your mind argued the reason why. “Jay I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have led you on like that.”

He refused to hear more as he grabbed his belongings and walked in your direction towards the door. “Next time he hits you, don’t come crying to me.”

You stood there and silently cried as he walked back to his room. Deep down he felt bad for being harsh but it was the only way he felt he could finally rid of his feelings for you. He couldn’t stop thinking about you since that night and waking up with you in his arms felt so right, but what was the point if he wasn’t the one you wanted?

[miekasa]

future nostalgia (eren jaeger)

↯ pairing: eren jaeger x (fem) reader, armin is absolutely putting in the work and deserves wingman of the year, mikasa is your well-reasoned, protective friend how you like them apples

↯ genres and warnings: college au, fluff, everybody is a little bit of an idiot, armin and eren supremacy, i will find a way to make levi captain of something in any and every au

↯ word count: 1.5k

↯ summary: armin arlert is the greatest wingman a boy could ask for; unfortunately he’s also oblivious as hell and painfully single himself, but you know what, he’s doing his best (aka you and eren putting your friends through the mental wingman/wingwoman olympics).

↯ notes: i’m running out of gifs to use i’m going to have to learn how to use photoshop to make headers rip in peace to me, also this an old piece, reworked for eren again, sometimes i cheat off of myself it’s okay  

“Just come by the rink during practice,” Armin pleas, “I promise, he can put his hot-headedness to good use!”

“I don’t doubt that,” you chuckle, your voice booming through the speaker of his phone, “But I’m pretty sure the rink is closed to non-athletes or team members, Armin.”

“But I can get you access! Manager’s privileges!” Armin boasts.

“While I appreciate the reminder about how single you think I am—and, I do, truly, Armin, from the bottom of my heart, thank you—you don’t have to try and set me up with one of your hockey jockeys.”

“They’re not jockeys!” Armin protests.

“Reiner Braun is most definitely a jockey.”

Armin slumps down a bit. Okay, most of them are good people. Most of the time. Look, Reiner is the exception, not the norm, but even he could be analytical and composed when he needed to be. 

“I’m going to tell him you said that,” Armin threatens.

“Fine, then I’ll tell him that you almost leaked his nudes to the entire girls volleyball team freshman year.”

“You play dirty,” Armin pouts, face growing red at the memory. (In his defense, it was freshman year, pretty much the first time in his life he’d had alcohol unsupervised, and in his drunken haze he thought he might have been doing Reiner a favor; he was pining over Christa pretty hard). “Which is exactly why you’ll love Eren!”

“Eren, still?” you question, trying to hide the amusement in your tone. “What’s the infatuation with me and Eren? You know, if I’m being honest, Jean is more my type, or even the captain—what’s his name again?”

“You mean Levi?” Armin questions, incredulous, “He’s the exact opposite of your type, don’t lie to me!”

“He’s still hot.”

“Is he really?” Mikasa’s voice questions doubtfully; and you can practically feel her rolling her eyes from across the receiver, “You can do better than him, (Y/N).”

“Wait, am I on speaker?” you ask.

“Maybe, doesn’t matter,” Armin hums, brushing away the topic, “Like I was saying, Eren is great, and you’re great, so you’d be great together! Plus, he’s kind of loaded, and very generous. Not that you’re shallow or anything, but I’m just saying, he’d take you on nice dates.”

“You’re kind of loaded and you don’t take me on nice dates.”

“Because we’re not dating.”

“You could take me on a friend date,” you muse, “Don’t be stingy, Armin.”

“She has a point,” Mikasa quips, “You always go to the fancy museums and don’t invite us.”

“Because the last time I did, you fell asleep! In the middle of the coral reef exhibit!” Armin whines.

“Because it was boring as fuck,” Mikasa deadpans, prompting you to chuckle.

“I have to agree. I’m afraid if you and Eren have the same taste in dates, it will never work out.”

“We don’t!” Armin insists, “Look, Eren is exactly your type, (Y/N), I’m telling you! He’s cute, athletic, but not bulky, and little clumsy, but it can be charming! Plus he loves puppies, cares about the environment, believes the healthcare system is corrupt, and hates most branches of law enforcement! What more could you want!”

“Armin,” you pause, holding back your laughter, “Maybe you should set yourself up with Eren if you think he’s that great.”

Armin chokes on the other end of the line, and your chuckles stumble out; you can imagine the blonde growing red and increasingly embarrassed with every passing second.

Mikasa hums. “Armin and Eren do have good chemistry—”

“Hello?! I don’t want to date Eren!”

“—but, I’ll vouch for Eren on this, too,” Mikasa continues, “I think you two would be good together.”

You bite the inside of your cheek. You’d always known Mikasa was in support of setting you up with Eren too—albeit much more subtle than her blonde counterpart—but she’d never said it explicitly; showing her approval in contended nods and hums whenever Armin would scheme to get you and Eren together. It was somewhat reassuring to hear.

You’re about to continue teasing Armin about the subject, when you hear your apartment door unlock. You shift your phone to your other hand, as you hear the sound of keys clanging onto the hook near the door.

“Look, guys, I gotta go,” you tell him, “This is been fun, but maybe focus on working out your feelings before setting me up, yeah? I wouldn’t want to get in the way of such a beautiful friends to lovers story.”

“Will you—I want you to date Eren, not date him myself! There—be quiet, Mikasa—there are no feelings to work out, I don’t even like g—”

“Sounds, good Armin,” you chuckle, words hurried as you hear footsteps approaching you, “Try and get Levi’s number for me, would you? Rumor has it he’s loaded, too—old money rich and everything.”

“But Eren is perfect—” is all you hear before you end the call, a pair of arms wrapping around your waist from behind, just as your thumb presses against your screen.

Ruffled, brown hair falls onto your shoulders as a chin is propped up against your neck; a flurry feather light kisses greeting you soon after. You hum, reaching your hand back to curl into the brown tresses, a final, exaggerated kiss pressed into the juncture of your neck and shoulder.

“Why are you trying to get Captain’s number,” Eren questions, voice muffled as he nuzzles his nose behind your ear, “No offense, but I think you’d have to line up behind his hundred and one fangirls first, babe.”

You chuckle lightly, neck growing warm as Eren continues to bury himself into your skin. His is cold from the winter air, but you don’t know why he insists on inflicting it onto you, when you know he’ll be back to furnace temperatures within the next ten minutes.

“I’m just messing with Armin,” you answer, resting on of your hands over Eren’s at your waist and giving it a squeeze, “He’s still trying to set us up.”

Eren chuckles, undoing his hold on you to spin you around to face him, cold hands cupping either side of your face. You scrunch your nose at the frigid feeling, but Eren finds it cute, leaning forward to press a kiss to the tip of your nose as an apology.

“Well, Armin is nothing if not loyal,” Eren muses.

“He’s too good for you,” you jest, poking at Eren’s forehead playfully, “He’s putting in all this work to be a good wingman, and you’re slacking off.”

“Technically, he’s not doing any work, we’re already together.”

“Yeah, but he doesn’t know that.”

“And who’s fault is that?” Eren questions, using his hands to squish your cheeks together, “I wanted to tell him two months ago.”

“First of all, this secret thing was your idea to begin with,” you point out, “Which—oh, by the way, I told you Mikasa approves of you; she said we’d be cute together on the phone.”

“That doesn’t mean she still won’t castrate me if we ever break up,” Eren says, a shudder running down his spine at the thought of it.

It’s not that he wanted to keep your relationship a complete secret from all of your friends forever, but he was hesitant at first, unsure of how your two friend groups would merge and take the news. And, he knew how much Mikasa cared about you, and truthfully, the dark haired girl scared him a little.

But it was bordering on half a year now, and he was certain that somebody would catch on soon enough. That, or Eren would accidentally let it slip to the entire hockey team one of these days—he almost has on a handful of occasions, but you don’t need to know about all of that.

And while a part of him did like the privacy that came along with dating in secrecy, Eren was finding it increasingly difficult to pretend to not be in love with you whenever you two went out with your friends; and to not brag that he had a super hot, super supportive girlfriend to wear his jersey during games, and Jean didn’t.

“You have plans to break up with me, Jaeger?” you question, but there’s a playful lilt in your voice.

It makes Eren grin, using his grip on your face to pull you closer, words ghosting over your lips before he pulls you in for a kiss, “Not in a million years.”

[binxyu]

Jungkook was meant to be just a guilty pleasure. Not your guilty pleasure, but a guilty pleasure. You knew never to fall in love with a man that thought loyalty was showing up on time. He was everything you never needed, but here you were. Your fingers pressed on the trigger that would start the flame of pain.

>>Pairing: Jeon Jungkook (dom) x fem!reader (sub) | fuckboy!jk x witch!reader

>>Word Count: 7.5k

>>Genre: Mini Series / Smut & Angst

>>Warnings/Kinks: Arguments, breast play, creampie, cum play, disloyalty, degrading, exhibitionism, fingering, hair pulling, marking, oral (receiving), praise, unprotected sex, and witchcraft

Jungkook was too beautiful for his own good.

From his pouty lips and sharp jaw line to his starry eyes. The man was perfection.

Even you had fallen for him, a woman that stopped believing in love.

But, all you could do now was remember the times you had together as the fire slowly burns in front of you.

As your love for Jeon Jungkook disappeared into nothingness.

Your fingers typed away at the keyboard, writing the second of three essays you had due. It was nearing the end of the semester and, while you were ecstatic at the mere thought of summer vacation, the stress of exams was looming over you.

“Can you look over this paragraph for me?”, you peeked up over your laptop and nodded, moving your own device out of the way to make room for Namjoon’s. Kim Namjoon was a journalist in the making, a man that knew exactly how to put events into words. He was quite different from you, but study sessions together were always eventful. You were the perfect person to correct his grammar mistakes or to help add detail to his work and he was the perfect person to help explain a certain historical detail you may have missed.

Studying religions was what you had decided was your interest considering your unique practice. You enjoyed learning about the beliefs of people centuries ago but the facts could get scrambled in your brain and that’s where Namjoon came in. He almost seemed to have a never ending timeline in his brain.

“I’d add more emphasize on Jungkook. He did beat the record after all”, you quickly realized when you read the paragraph that he was writing for the school paper again. Despite your attempts to persuade the man that he could do much better with his time, he continued to write for it.

“That’s true. Wait, how did you know about that?”, you let out an amicable chuckle. Of course Namjoon would assume you did not know. Just because you despised sports did not mean you were deaf. The whole school had been talking about the student since the track meet. While you couldn’t remember the exact record he beat, it was still a record.

“People talk”, you shrugged and Namjoon nodded. It was peaceful for a moment as you went back to typing, managing to push aside your emerging migraine. Your body was begging for a good nap, but you had to get this done. You were, among less appealing qualities, a hard worker. Perhaps it was due to the pressure put on you as a child or maybe it was because that diploma was just out of reach. Either way, nothing was going to get in the way of your future.

And, like the biggest fuck you from the universe, Jeon Jungkook walks in.

Yet, you hadn’t realized and kept typing until Namjoon cursed loudly, drawing you out of your world.

“Are you okay?”, your voice was soft before your eyes met the issue. Oh, poor clumsy Namjoon.

He had spilt his coffee all over his shirt, staining the freshly new white blouse he had worn. You couldn’t help but laugh as you dug in your bag for a napkin.

“Don’t bother, it’s too much for a napkin. I’ll go to the restroom. Be right back”, you gave him a brief nod and a thumbs up. Still, you got up with your little pack of napkins and tried to clean up the remaining coffee staining into the table. The librarian is sure to kill you both if it does end up staining the wood. Standing back to examine your work, you almost screamed.

Standing by your laptop was a tall figure with the most sinister smirk you’ve ever seen.

Jeon fucking Jungkook spilt your coffee all over your notes and laptop.

Your mouth hung open for a moment before fury overtook the shock. You stomped up to the broadly built man and yes you didn’t believe in violence as a solution but all you wanted to do was slap the smirk right off his gorgeous face.

“Why did you do that?”, you also wanted to yell but the librarian was already eyeing the table and you couldn’t draw attention to the mess.

“Because I like to watch you suffer, sourpuss”, how have you not killed the man in front of you? You had no idea. Because that name infuriated you.

You knew it was the student’s way of messing with you, wanting to strike that minuscule nerve inside of you. No one else believed you could get angry but Jungkook knew you could. Mostly because he had caused that anger.

“And why is that? Because Jimin told you another lie about me?”, Jeon Jungkook was so impossibly similar to Park Jimin that it was uncanny who he had learned his traits from. Truth be told, you had the smallest crush on the man in front of you during freshmen year. He was so affectionate, caring, and friendly back then.

But, instead of ending up with the sweet heartthrob, you had ended up with Jimin for that year and the next.

Starting out, he was simply a popular boy and loved you with his whole heart. But, time went by and his true colors shun through like the sunlight through your irritatingly useless blinds. He was a playboy. An awfully good one at that for you to have never noticed the extra pairs of undergarments that laid on his floor when you slept over at his dorm.

He cheated, but he blamed it all on you and even Jeon Jungkook hates your guts because you were sure Jimin had told him exactly what he had told most of your friends. That you had broken his heart with your “horrifying” witchcraft and that you were dangerous. It explained why so many students asked to see your devil shrine the next day or tried to barge into your dorm to look at what Jimin talked about.

The most ironic thing was that you had never used magick around the man and you barely used it to begin with. You supposed it was for good reason considering that happened the first time you told someone about it.

“Jimin doesn’t lie. He’s never lied to me and I’m sure you’re well aware of what you did”, his finger jabbed harshly above your breast, just slightly lower than your collarbone. Among many things, Jungkook was dense and forgetful. You noticed that quickly when you started spotted reminders written on his fingers or palm. Just like the little note saying “library 7pm” was written on the finger jabbing you.

Unless the track star had another reason to be in the library he never visited, he wrote that down just to catch you in time.

“Tell me, Jeon. What did I do?”, you tilted your head and moved away from him, realizing the coffee was now leaking onto the floor. You desperately wished Namjoon would hurry up and get back to help you.

“You broke his heart. Using magick or something”, you bit your lips in annoyance and turned around to face him.

“Or something? Jungkook, I never did anything to Jimin. I know you won’t believe it because you look up to him like some god, but he cheated on me. He broke my heart”, you jabbed back, hitting the same spot he hit you, “and, if you haven’t noticed, Jimin doesn’t seem heartbroken, does he?”. If he dared to say yes you may have to use that horrifying magick Jimin lied about because your ex was anything but heartbroken. He was with a new woman almost every night and, even with this knowledge, they lined up to be with him. Who could deny the charming Park Jimin?

Finally, Jungkook shook his head, his curly black hair bouncing as he did the movement. If he wasn’t such a nuisance, you might’ve wished you could run your fingers through it. It looked so fluffy.

“Then, leave me alone. It’s been years of your torment and I’m tired of it”, you sighed and slung your bag over your shoulder after shoving your slightly wet laptop into it, walking out of the library after sending a text to Namjoon that you had felt bad because no one really knew about your fights with Jungkook and Namjoon would surely try to beat his ass if he found out about it.

Leaving the coffee on the table was a bold move but a part of you hoped that the asshole would clean it up. It was his mess after all. Not your’s.

“You’re coming to the track meet, right?”, the voice startled you and you sat up on your bed, making direct eye contact with Kim Taehyung. The only guy with a key to your dorm.

“Tae, I love you but you know I do not do sports”, you grumbled and flopped back onto your bed. Your classes had you beat and the need for a nap was too great to give up. Even if it was for your best friend.

“I know but it would mean so much if you were there”, don’t do it. Don’t do it.

You did it.

You made direct eye contact with those big puppy eyes Taehyung always used to get his way. You had fallen victim once again.

Which was why you had ended up in the cold, shivering as you watched the team run around the track for what felt like an eternity.

Taehyung had done great considering he barely moved before the season but who really stood out was Jungkook. His back muscles were only moments away from ripping through the flimsy shirt he was wearing and sweat was coating his hair. He was aware of how good he looked. He always was. He even was ballsy enough to wink at one of the girls screaming his name in the crowd.

Thankfully, the pleasant bliss that was drinking kept your mind off how irritated you were. You had snuck in a beer to drink (not that everyone else didn’t) and the alcohol loosened you up a bit.

After the meet was over, a sweaty Taehyung was clinging to you like a massive koala. He was high off adrenaline and couldn’t decide whether he wanted to cuddle or jump around.

“Tae, take this before you pass out on top of me”, you handed him a water and he gratefully took it, still leaning against you as he chugged down the drink.

Taehyung and you were polar opposites. He was an athlete, quite dorky, a great singer, and was overly optimistic. You, on the other hand, liked to keep to yourself, was not the best of singers, and always stuck to the reality of things. Even if you could manipulate that reality the tiniest bit.

“Let’s get you home”, you let the man lean his weight on you tiredly as you started to walk towards the exit of the field.

“Sourpuss, I need to talk to you”, that voice was definitely not the one you needed to hear when you were this tired and already agitated. What does a girl have to do to spend time in her bed?

“I’m a little busy if you haven’t realized”, you gestured to Taehyung, who was breathing directly on your neck and nuzzling his nose against the skin. It wasn’t an odd gesture considering your close friendship but his face was so cold it send goosebumps down your spine.

“I’ll help”, Jungkook offered, quickly coming to your rescue by crouching down and getting Tae on his back. The man grumbled but was happy to take the ride considering it was less soreness for his legs to endure the next day.

The Jeon Jungkook helping? What a trip.

“What do you want?”, you winced at how rude it sounded. Sure, Jungkook most definitely deserves said rudeness, but he was helping you.

“I’m sorry”, you legitimately thought you were hearing things and turned your head to look at him, stopping in your tracks.

“Can you say that again? I don’t think I heard you correctly”, the athlete groaned before turning to look at you, frustration evident on his face.

“I’m sorry. You were right about Jimin. He’s been talking shit behind my back for months and I had no idea”, if it wasn’t for your “told you so” attitude, you would’ve felt sorry for him. Jimin was one of his closest friends after all.

“Hate to say I told you so but”, he glared at you to shut up and you quickly did. His glare was so cold that a shiver went up your spine.

“Sorry, it was a joke. Jimin is really manipulative so don’t let him bring you down”, you reassured him, even bringing your hand up to pat his shoulder. By the way he flinched away, you would’ve assumed your hand was made of lava.

Noted. Jungkook hates being touched.

“I assumed so much about you and that was immature of me”, the man smiled softly at you. It felt like arrows pierced your heart. He had such a cute smile for an asshole. Like a bunny.

“It’s fine. Lots of people assume things about me”, you shrugged as you both started walking again, Taehyung looking down at you to make sure you’re okay. He was like your protective older brother and you couldn’t be more thankful to have him around.

“But they shouldn’t. So what if you follow a different religion? It doesn’t mean you’re evil”, that was probably the first time someone agreed with your practices besides Taehyung and Namjoon (mostly because he understood it better than others).

“Thank you for saying that. It means a lot”, you finally smiled back at him, sending his heart right into his chest as his heartbeat picked up. Needless to say, he adored your smile.

“I hate to ask this of you but could you tutor me on Epidemiology? I regret ever taking it and I’ll pay you”, you were wide-eyed with shock to say the least. You didn’t expect Jungkook to go out of his way to learn. Especially, not with you.

“Sure, you can join Namjoon and I in the morning”, you nodded before you saw the way Jungkook’s nose crinkled up in displeasure.

“What? What’s wrong with that?”, he sighed in response to the question as you both reached your dorm building. You’d just let Tae stay with you for the night.

“Namjoon hates my guts. We’re way too different. Besides, aren’t you two dating? I don’t want to be some third wheel”, Jungkook almost sounded disgusted at the idea, probably imagining you making out with Namjoon in front of him.

“I’m not dating him. He’s just the only other intelligent male I can tolerate”, he seemed to relax once you finished speaking but there was still tenseness evident in his shoulders which wasn’t due to the large man on his back.

“I still don’t get along with him despite the fact that he writes about me all the time. He once yelled at me for cheating and wrote an article about it”, that was a slap right to your face. Right, Jungkook was a player and he could throw your feelings aside like one of his cigarettes. Do not get attached.

“Well, don’t cheat”, you said because, let’s be real, it’s the truth. You unlocked the door and helped Taehyung off of his back.

“Bye Koo, thanks again”, your words were quick and you kicked the door closed with your shoe, your hands full thanks to the oversized man child clinging onto you.

Koo. He liked that.

Weeks had ticked by and, somehow, Jungkook had managed to get your number. Honestly, Namjoon probably slipped it out or Taehyung gave it to him. According to Tae, the man had been oddly friendly to him and they were (borderline) friends now. They played video games together, practiced together, and even barged into your place for snacks together.

Great. Now you had two man-children to take care of and feed. It was definitely taking a chunk out of your paycheck each week to get extra snacks for the two. They ate like starving animals whenever they came over. A small part of you even thought it was just to piss you off even more.

Jungkook finally managed to get you to agree for a tutoring session with him. Just one. If this one went well then maybe you would agree to more.

The only sad thing about the session was that it was scheduled to happen right after your last class on Friday in your previous dorm. The dorm you had just finished cleaning up since the last time the two adult toddlers had destroyed it.

Surprisingly, when you had woken up one morning, Jungkook was still there. You assumed he and Tae were too drunk to get back to their own dorms and had decided to just sleepover at your’s. It was quite annoying if you were to be honest, but the way Koo looked actually interested in your religion was enticing.

He didn’t look scared or disgusted when he looked at your little collection of crystals on your desk or the jar resting on your end table sealed with candle wax. If anything, he actually looked amused or even impressed.

“I’ll pick you up after class. I can’t believe you don’t drive and walk to your dorm every day”, Jungkook shook his head as he walked beside you. Coincidentally, your last classes were next to each other but you were shocked to hear him offer to give you a ride.

“Don’t judge me, Mr. Playboy. I just have a fear of hitting someone. Have you seen the lunatics at this campus? They will run out into traffic for fun”, the man chuckled wholeheartedly at the pout on your lips. Plus, your joke was actually pretty accurate. Even he had almost hit a drunk idiot when trying to get back to his dorm late one night.

“Okay, that’s fair. So, you okay with me driving you?”, you nodded cautiously. While Jungkook was guaranteed to know every path to your dorm by now, you were still guarded. Being in that tight of a space with him was going to be difficult.

No, you don’t get those so-called “butterflies” when you were with him. Honestly, those butterflies were typically a bad sign to you. Feeling sick because you loved someone sounded a bit odd and almost contradictory.

You actually found yourself with more powerful emotions than anything. If Jungkook made you angry, you were angry. If he made you happy, you were happy.

Everything just felt so much stronger when you were around him. Thankfully, he almost always made you happy. He made you laugh because, once he discovered that beautiful sound, he couldn’t get enough.

So, after your class, you met him out in the hall and he walked you to his car. Now you realized how such an undetermined man got into college.

He was filthy rich.

Sitting there in the parking spot was a brand new Mercedes Benz. Its black color almost matched the distinct leather jacket that he decided to wear today. It very much screamed Jeon Jungkook.

However, it did not scream you whatsoever. You were almost afraid to get near it.

“Hop in. My grade isn’t getting any lower”, he opened the door for you and you weren’t sure if it was because you were friends, or whatever the fuck you two were, or if it was because he wanted a discount.

That’s not fucking happening. He’s already stolen plenty of money through snacks from your cabinets.

Meekly, you got into the vehicle, immediately buckling your seatbelt as if it was going to hurl itself into motion at any moment. Jungkook shut the door and went around to get into the drivers’ seat. Apparently he trusted his own driving so much that he never wore a seatbelt (Namjoon would’ve had a stroke if he was told that) and he drove with one hand (scratch that- make it two strokes).

Despite those things, he was an actual good driver. You felt safe and he drove the speed limit. Maybe it was just because you were in the car with him?

Getting out of the luxurious leather seats proved to be a hassle considering you knew your seats in your dorm were no where near as comfortable. You could sleep in that passenger seat without a care in the world compared to your own bed. Still, you forced yourself to get out and you two went up to your dorm. Jungkook is way too familiar with the place now considering he barely talks to you. It’s your place and, yet, he comes here for Tae.

“Alright, what unit do you need help on?”, you asked softly as you took the needed supplies out of your bag. You actually already took Epidemiology. It had nothing to do with your major but it was interesting to you. Who wouldn’t want to learn about the science of the world’s biggest killer: disease?

Jungkook simply looked at you, blinking a few times and pressing his tongue into his cheek in that nervous habit you realized he had.

“Oh- for fucks sake, Koo”, you grumbled as you realized how long of a process this was going to be.

It had been months since you began tutoring the student and, finally, there was progress.

Standing proudly with his shoulders back was Jeon Jungkook holding a test with a big number ‘92’ on it in red ink. Your heart swelled with pride.

“I passed! This was the exam review test so I’ll pass the exam, right?”, you smiled brightly as you looked at his excited eyes. You never thought Jungkook would ever be excited over passing a class but you can’t judge people by their covers, right?

“Yeah! Just keep up with the studying and you got it”, you nodded quickly, looking away from his puppy eyes when you felt happiness engulf you like a fire.

Ironically, you were actually playing with fire. Your hand tugged on the trigger and a flame flickered from the end of your lighter. You brought it down and lit the candle in front of you. To be honest, you were a bit of a goodie two shoes but you did break one rule.

No fire in the dorms.

“Hey, I really wanted to thank you. I’m actually passing all my classes now and it fills like my life has purpose again”, woah, didn’t expect that.

“No problem, Koo. Your life always has purpose. What do you mean?”, you looked up from what you were doing, noticing he was leaning against the frame of your door.

“All I did was party and drink. Sure, I was a good athlete but that can only take you so far”, you nodded in understanding and stood up, walking towards him.

He followed your every move like prey waiting for the predator to attack them.

But, instead of an attack, he was met with a warm, genuine, and, all around, great hug.

“Do you think of me as everyone else does?”, you looked up at him, meeting his starry eyes.

Oh, you hated them because of how much you loved them. They held the galaxy within them and you could stare into them for hours if given the chance.

You were many things but, tragically for Jungkook, a liar wasn’t one of them.

“Honestly, I did before. I’ve seen you do some of the things the rumors talk about-“, smoking, cheating, fighting, “but now I know that’s not all you are. There’s more to you, Koo”.

All Jungkook had been able to think about was your words. Sure, he didn’t care about your opinion before but it truly did make him happy to know you thought better of him.

“Jk! Where have you been?”, oh no.

“Jimin? I’ve just been at the gym a lot”, lies. He had been with you a lot.

“Ah, I see. How’s the bet going?”, the shorter man asked, running his fingers through his precisely cut hair. What a born model.

The bet. The bet you had no clue about. The bet Jungkook was too dense to refuse.

“It’s going. She hugged me yesterday”, Jimin scoffed and then chuckled, vastly different sounds that almost made Jungkook double over in fear. Truth be told, he despised Jimin. He despised him because he scared him. The only other man more influential than him was Jimin and that meant Jimin could ruin his reputation in a matter of seconds.

“That’s all? Damn, she really is void of love”, the bet Jimin was referring to was the one he made with the younger at the beginning of the year.

“I bet you can’t make her fall in love with you. She didn’t even love me, Koo! Me! I’m telling you, if you make her fall in love with you then I’ll get you anything you want”.

Time was running out with exams coming up and Jungkook needed to hurry if he was going to win such a bet. But, was it worth it if it meant disappointing you? Jimin may be scary but you made him feel so happy and so proud.

The only time he had seen you disappointed was when Taehyung broke one of your jars, resulting in a mess of coins, herbs, and wax on the floor. That’s the day he decided he never wanted to be on the receiving end of one of those looks.

“Yeah, she’s guarded which is understandable-“, wait- did Jeon Jungkook just grow some balls? “I’d be void of love too if everyone judged me for something I believed in”. He did.

“Where is that coming from? She deserves it, doesn’t she? Come on, JK. Keep that head in the game!”, Jimin patted his head like he was a child with all A’s on his report card, which, for once, was actually true thanks to you.

What game? You? Were you truly just a game to him?

“Alright, I’ve got this”, damn. Maybe you were.

Most nights you found yourself at the library now. It was the only place that was filled with peace and quiet. Especially on a Friday. Not even the librarian was here.

��Guess who”, hands covered your eyes and you would’ve punched the man behind you if you didn’t immediately recognize his husky voice. It was soothing with just the perfect mix of roughness. You couldn’t help but wonder what it sounded like when he just woke up.

“An asshole who thinks it’s okay to sneak up on women in a deserted place”, you grumbled and Jungkook immediately removed his hands.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you”, oh here we go. Argument number two thousand.

“I wasn’t scared. I was just saying that, one, you’re an ass and, two, don’t do that to women”, he nodded in agreement and you thought that was the stopping of an argument. Boy, oh boy, were you wrong.

“I won’t anymore but you’re so weak. I’ve scared you so many times now”, you glared at him. Thanks to months of being by Jungkook’s side, you had become a bit more out of control. The feelings you used to keep caged up were now more out in the open. You cussed more often, even tried drinking (and almost spit it out on him), and your frustration was no longer hidden from the world.

“Jungkook, you are a menace to society and I would like it if you leaved”, it was a pointless threat. You didn’t really mean it. You adored his company but you wouldn’t admit that with a gun to your head.

“Liar, you love me”, shit. Did you? No, don’t ask that. It was just a joke.

Damn you and your overthinking.

“No, I hate you. Shut up”, that was also a useless threat. Jungkook never shut up. He was quite the talker and shutting up was not in his vocabulary.

“No, you hate me. Shut up”, he sat on the table you were previously working on, knowing this would take a while. Your arguments always lasted between thirty minutes to two or three hours. You both hated to back down.

“No, I love you. Shut the fuck up”, wait a second-

“As you wish”, he smirked victoriously and leaned closer, his face so close to your’s that you could smell his musky cologne.

“That was wrong”, you glared at him and he shook his head, “don’t open your mouth aga-“ you were cut off as his lips connected with your’s. He kissed you so intensely that your mind was fogged up, trying to figure out what the hell just happened.

Finally, with your brain still hooked on adrenaline, your hands found their way to his cheeks, cupping his well defined face as you kissed back. You could feel him smile into the kiss before he pulled away, leaving a spark traveling down your body. Now, that’s a good feeling.

“Ah, I love when you shut the fuck up”, you were so close to beating him with your bag.

Everything was weird after the kiss. Life wasn’t some fairytale where you both lived happily ever after in some old palace somewhere.

No, you were both actually stuck in that “fuck, what are we?” mess.

Love wasn’t something you could control and that was why you never let it get that far, but, with Jungkook, it felt uncontrollable, spreading like wildfire.

So, you avoided him.

Of course, it wasn’t the most humane or easiest form of dealing with your feelings but it worked.

Well, for a little bit until Koo decided to block you off in the library, cornering you into the back section of the religious books. Oh, how ironic.

“What’s wrong?”, his voice made your knees want to give out. It was early and you assumed he woke up early just to catch you. His attire said that enough from his sweatpants to the tank top hugging his upper body. He obviously just threw something on before he left.

“What are you talking about?”, you tilted your head and tried to act innocent, but, once again, a liar you were not.

“Oh please, you’re obviously pissed off or scared of me or something”, bingo. You were horrified of what you were feeling and, in tune with it, Jungkook.

“I don’t know! Why do you even care? You’re obviously going to pass your exam so what am I needed for anymore?”, you winced at your own words, watching as the man’s usual bright expression turned into a sorrowful one.

“It’s much more than that, y/n”, that was probably one of the first times he had said your name. He usually called you nicknames like princess, sourpuss, or whatever else he came up with depending on his mood.

“Then what is it?”, the stare he gave you made you want to hide further into the corner. It was so predatory that your body was trying to fight its own instincts to run away and avoid the problem. You were always a flight over fight type of girl.

“You”, the one word made your eyebrows furrow, racking your brain for a response or understanding of what he meant. Jungkook shook his head as you watched your face twist in confusion.

“You’re so dense. Why would I kiss you if it wasn’t all for you?”, he leaned closer to you, hand resting on the shelf of the bookcase behind you. You silently thanked the universe that no one else was in there yet.

“Discount?”, it was the first thing you thought of and it caused a low chuckle to rumble out of Jungkook’s chest. He looked up into your eyes and it almost knocked the air out of you.

“Hmm, unless it’s a fuck buddy discount then I don’t think I want it”, he raised an eyebrow cockily and your eyes went wide. Little did Jungkook know that he just complicated your relationship even more.

“And what if I’m okay with making such a discount?”, the student practically groaned at the words, free hand finding its way on your hip, squeezing it. You don’t know where your new found confidence came from but you had gotten rather blunt since hanging out with Jungkook.

“Then I’d say you’re not the person I thought you were”, he hummed, leaning in to whisper in your ear. The way his breath tickled your ear sent sparks through your body.

“Is that what you want? For me to take you here against these books?”, yes you did. Looking around, you were met with many versions of Bible and other holy books of all religions. It was absolutely filthy and wrong to do it there which was why it was perfect.

“Yes, I want that”, your nails dug into the wood behind you, trying to ground your emotions down. It had always been an escape tactic to you.

“How naughty”, now you understood why he had chosen today of all days to corner you. He loved the skirt you were wearing and how easily it gave access to everything delicious underneath. Plus, your legs were perfect to him.

His fingers danced along your thighs before he pushed up your skirt, revealing the black lace panties underneath. Oh, you knew what was going to happen today and you definitely knew Jungkook liked his black.

“So pretty. Just for me?”, the question took you off guard, your own questions flooding your brain. Ultimately, after a few moments of silence, you decided he probably had a possession thing. Who didn’t like to feel powerful?

“Just for you, Koo. Fuck, touch me please”, so you decided to feed his little ego, edging him on until he pulled the panties to the side to reveal your glistening pussy.

The dim light of the library truly didn’t do it justice but he couldn’t help himself from finding it to be also perfect. He was in deep shit now.

His long fingers ran down your slit until they reached their destination: your pussy. He rubbed around it before he slowly plunged his middle finger into the wetness, curling against your walls.

Fuck, you always hated that finger but with it inside of you? Maybe you could make an exception.

Your body shook in response to the stimulation since you hadn’t been touched in so long, your hands gripping the wood tighter to keep yourself steady. Jungkook smirked when you clenched around his finger before he added another, stretching you out wonderfully as he scissored you open.

And that was when Jungkook found his favorite sound in the world.

“Jungkook! Oh god”, you moaning his name sounded like music to his ears and he couldn’t get enough. The only thing he hated was how quiet it was since you were still conscious of the library around you. He wanted you to scream it.

“You like that, princess? You want more?”, you obediently nodded, not in the mood to be denied an orgasm (which you were sure Jungkook would do if you didn’t obey). The man chuckled and leaned down, still pumping his fingers steadily as if it took no effort at all. If you had done this yourself then your fingers would have been cramping by now.

Your body jolted when Jungkook’s plump lips wrapped around your clit, sucking harshly on the nerve as if he was starving. To be fair, he had skipped breakfast.

You feared for the books behind you as your body spasmed, orgasming on the man’s fingers. You took deep breaths once you were finished and watched as Jungkook pulled away, pulling his cum covered fingers out of you.

With prolonged eye contact, he slipped the digits into his mouth and sucked the juices off of them. A new wave of arousal went through you when he tapped your lips with them, making you open your mouth. You gagged briefly when they hit the back of your throat but you sucked on it, licking your way up his middle finger.

“Good girl”, now that was going to haunt you forever. You whined when he pulled his fingers away and he smiled teasingly at you.

“I’m going to need to see these”, your eyes went wide when he gripped the collar of your shirt and ripped it clean down the middle, tossing it aside as if it didn’t cost you a fortune.

“Jeon Jungkook! That was expensive”, you huffed but he paid you no mind, just reaching behind you to remove your bra too so it can join the rest of your clothes.

“What if someone sees? I can’t cover these up quickly, Koo”, you crossed your arms over your chest, looking around cautiously. Jungkook just laughed and pulled your arms away, pinning your wrists above your head so he can press his body against your own.

“Take my shirt off and you can put that over you for the day. It’s fine, sourpuss”, oh you would’ve slapped him if you weren’t so turned on. He let go of your wrists and you quickly removed his shirt for him, revealing a muscular chest you could’ve never imagined.

And he never imagined how beautiful you’d look with your hard nipples pressed against the thin fabric of his white t-shirt. He grabbed them immediately and you failed to see the spark in his eyes as he squished them together.

“That was one of my favorite shirts. What a di-“, you yelped when he pulled your leg up over his shoulder, yanked his pants and boxers down, and pulled your panties aside to rub his angry tip against your folds. Your head rested back as he rubbed against your clit, covering his cock in your juices.

“What a dick indeed”, Jungkook chuckled deeply, arousal blurring his world into nothing but you. The only thing that mattered at that moment was feeling you.

His lips attached to your neck and you were so out of reality that you didn’t realize he was littering the skin with his marks, a silent claim on you as he pushed himself inside of you.

“Oh shit, it’s exactly as I imagined. So tight and warm”, and he was just as you imagined. So very big. You didn’t think anyone else could stretch you out as much as Jeon Jungkook and that thought made you groan.

“You’ve been imagining it?”, it was your turn to smirk and, for the first time ever, the man in front of you blushed.

“Oh please princess. I know you’ve been thinking about it too”, and you had been. Not that you’d ever admit that after he just basically friends with benefits zoned you.

“Just move you asshole”, Jungkook gripped your hair, tugging on the soft strands as he finally kept pushing, bottoming out inside of you perfectly.

His big hands moved to grip your hips, a little help to keep you up as he started to snap his own into your’s. He was mildly uncomfortable at first but, as you adjusted to his size, bliss filled your body.

Finally, you were doing something to make yourself happy and pleased. Maybe Jeon Jungkook wasn’t the best man to do it but he was making you feel so so good.

The man snapped you out of your thoughts as he brought your hand down to your clit. You understood and started to rub it, happy knowing that Jungkook was also looking out for your own pleasure too. Not that you’d know he had been thinking about you creaming on his big cock for months now.

“Keep doing that”, he whispered despite the heavy groan that threatened to come out. He was referring to the uncontrollable clenching you were doing around his dick, sucking him into your walls with each muscle movement. You listened and (despite knowing you were going to keep doing it anyways) clenched once again.

“Can I cum inside?”, you whimpered at the idea of Jungkook’s cum filling you up and, knowing you’re on grade A birth control, you nodded. While Jungkook was effortlessly attractive, kids were not part of your plans by far.

“You close too, princess?”, you nodded, a small moan spilling past your lips despite your best efforts to be quiet. With that knowledge, the man orgasmed and you could feel his seed start to coat your insides. The feeling made you tumble over into your own orgasm, coating his softening cock with your release.

“I think that’s the best sex I’ll ever have”, you praised him as you tried to put your cramping leg down off his shoulder. Instead, he held it tighter and pulled himself out of you. He watched as his cum started the spill out of you, dripping down your thighs beautifully.

So, he’s a man who likes to admire his work.

You almost screamed when he pushed it back inside of you with his finger due to the sensitivity.

“See you later, sourpuss”, Jungkook smirked and put your panties back to their original position before he pulled his own boxers and pants back up. He walked off and you were left gobsmacked with his cum dripping out of you onto your panties.

As the weeks passed by, the world became more vibrant and cheerful but also more chilling and worrisome.

Exams were over and you were free to go wherever you pleased but, somehow, you always found yourself wanting to be with what was supposed to be your secret guilty pleasure. Now, he was your everything. He truly brought color into your world; sadly, color always comes with black and white.

“I won the bet, Jimin. I want what I asked for”, you listened intently from the other aisle of books. The library had become your go to spot to find Jungkook. Surprisingly, the once unmotivated student was more frequently in here because of the sheer relief he got when you stood before him with a proud smile. What a softy.

“Really? She fell for you? Damn, you still got it. I can’t believe you asked for this though”, the disgust in your ex’s voice was evident and you so desperately wanted to see what he was referring to. You truly thought Koo had stopped being friends with Jimin after he apologized but apparently you were wrong about a lot of things. Most of all, you were wrong to love again.

Feeling your tears start to spill down your cheeks for the first time in years, you forced yourself out of the library. You should’ve seen it coming. What would a playboy want with you? A woman looking for a serious relationship? You’re an idiot and you’ll fix it.

Said playboy must’ve spotted you because you could hear his heavy footsteps behind you as you rushed out of the library, hurrying into a run with the safety of your dorm in mind. It was time to end this.

So, here you were. Remembering everything from the past few months as the candles in front of you burned, getting so desperately close to the string connecting them. You had carved an evident ‘JK’ on one and your initials on the other, bonding them to the people who needed to be apart from one another.

Watching his candle, you noticed the wax dripping down the long wick and you knew they were tears. You knew because of the loud banging coming from your dorm door, the man on the other side screaming and sobbing for you to let him explain.

Your candle, however, burned strongly with vengeance. It stood so tall compared to Jungkook’s and, as the fire finally burned through the string tying you both together, you felt free. It was like Jeon Jungkook had never affected you before and his name slowly slipped from your mind.

Eventually, the banging stopped as the candles reached their ends and the fire flickered out under your gaze. You felt so blissfully numb as you walked towards the door, opening it to reveal a confused Jungkook looking up at you.

“What did you do? It’s like-“, you cut him off with your hand, pulling him up rather roughly.

“You never knew me. That’s how I want it, Jeon Jungkook. You never knew me and I never knew you. Now, get your prize and leave me alone”, you slammed the door in his face. You felt pure relief but Jungkook could still feel a pang of want in his body.

You had failed to notice the little wax left of his candle that stood strong as you dumped it in the trash and he failed to notice that he had left his “prize” outside your door as he rushed off.

A gorgeous rose quartz necklace.

What a way to declare your love to a witch who just cut it all off.

[dancedwiththe666]

Dancing with the Devil and his name is: Kirk Leslie Naziel Reid AKA  Kirk  Reid

(He who shall not be named)

This blog was made to help woman escape the burden woman hold when meeting this man. Since more woman are learning of this post, it has done its job to save some woman who have reached out. He who shall not be named doesn’t get the luxury of harming more woman. The truth of the matter of he who shall not be named is that. 

He is an abusive mother fucker.

He does owe all of the woman he fakes a future with. (Hundreds – thousands)

He will give you a bladder infection. (Because his junk is disgusting, it’s a thing that happens with all narcissist’s)

 He will say he’s going to kill himself (oh don’t all of us with he was brave enough)

He will use anything fucked up story to make you afraid of him. Planting seeds of shit he’s supposedly done (but don’t worry, He’s just a bitch)

Don’t be afraid of this loser. Period.

The author of this blog is leaving it as is, and will no longer be checking it.  Hopefully more woman can come foreword and comment or share.

This man will give you a fantasy when he meets you. He does this to every woman. Narcissist’s like to FAKE a future with every woman, but people aren’t people to them. They are supply. Kirk will open your doors, will insist to open the car door. Carry your things. Get you coffee and flowers, but GIRL! I am here to tell you that will be the most expensive flowers and coffee you will ever buy. His chivalrous act he gets from movies and books on manipulation. This is where he is doing his best acting in the beginning. He acts so charming, charming the panties right off of you. And any man. Men love Kirk too. He seems like a man’s man. But under the mask he’s a Bitch.

He will then seem so open and honest and get you to open up in the same way. But every thing and I mean EVERYTHING he says is a lie. Kirk doesn’t live in the real world, he lives in a fantasy, so everything he tells you is a lie. One of his best qualities is his lying memory bank.

He will make sure to study you and knows everything about you fast because you tell him, he will mould himself into being the man of your dreams. Then comes the sad stories…

Stories of his childhood, abandonment, sexual assault. He will also tell you about all the woman who cheated on him (this is a huge lie) He has cheated on EVERYONE. He will use this to play the victim of why he’s been to jail so much. He uses this as a way to get what he wants from you. What does he want from you? – Pity – love – money – your body – your ass. He wants to drain everything from you. He will use this to drain you of everything emotionally and physically.

While you are falling for this man of your dreams. He will be working on other supply. He will be messaging other woman on many different fake accounts. This is why he has 2 phone numbers. He will tell you he’s the best loyal guy, while he’s sticking his Dirty Chicken Nugget in every Tuna Canoe in town. He will leave you with a STD cocktail of Syphilis and Chlamydia.

 Then he emails all the raunchy pictures of himself and his victims to one of his emails. So many pictures of may woman over the last year. Everyone of these women think they found someone special LOL

He also lies to his friends, especially the woman friends. And so-called best friends, like Danielle. She probably thinks he’s a good guy. Besides the point. Every Woman friend or Man friend Kirk USES. He will only pop up every few months or years and what does he need? FAVORS. A place to stay perhaps, a loan, work done a truck, a ride. Maybe for you to loan him tools. Whatever it is, everyone will do it because they believe his bullshit stories. And another one of his best scam qualities he’s charming. If that doesn’t work, he’s the sad lost puppy. The sad lost puppy who destroys lives.

His so-called Best Friend Merlin will always have his back, but doesn’t know how much Kirk talks shit about him behind his back. He has the audacity to call Merlin a shitty father, to all of his girlfriends! But Kirk has barley paid child support to his 2 children besides a few hundred dollars. Why does he shit talk his friends because Psychopaths can’t have friends, they only see competition. The next step after a narcissist is to become a psychopath.  This is what one of his Ex’s therapists labelled him as. We all need therapy after Kirk enters your life.

Kirk will tell you what he needs to in regards to his criminal record, because you can google it. The reason he was sent to the PEN in 2017 is because his Ex Mellissa was 4 months pregnant, Kirk was getting aggressive (even though he says he’s never been physical with a woman). She was leaving him. Kirk didn’t like that, so he sent people to slash her tires. He then began threatening her sister and her other vehicles. So, she told the cops, and because of his 2015 grand thefts long with 3 other warrants he went to jail.  Kirk also owes Melissa child support for 4 years on top of that over 12K while they dated.

This is where Kirk and money get interesting, he rarely works. Always makes up stories about how much he makes or what he will do when he retires. Or his next big jobs or BIG PAYOUTS he’s getting. He will borrow money from You, your best friend and dead uncle if he could. He tells his friends he’s going to get 100k loan form the government. No government agency is going to lend a criminal with a record that can go from here to the moon.

Kirk owes his friend Glen over 10k, as well as more friends he borrowed from over the year. Because Kirk is a sad lost puppy, his friends will always be offering him a job, then they find out he’s a shit worker.

Kirk owes his ex-Tara a truck. He totaled the truck that was put in her name, then stopped paying her the payments. But he talks about how its his, and how he’s getting it paid out for insurance. She’s probably still paying for it.

Kirk lied his way back into his ex-Kim’s life last year. He has a 5-year-old with her. He talks about what a great dad he is, and he barley had time to spend with his kid. His children are more like inconveniences, but to everyone else He’s the best dad he says. He owes Kim 5 years of child support and a few 1000 he borrowed from when he was with her.

Imagine a man that has barley paid child support asking the mother that raised his child for years while he was in jail, for money. He’s really a disgusting man.

Rachel is Kirks ex from last year he owes her over 10k as well. Kirk told her he was Christian and fucking prayed with this girl. He also told her he got the Covid vaccine for her because she believes in it. (He got the shot for work). She didn’t even know he had kids for over a year.

Have you seen “THECON” on Disney? He is those characters.

He is also the “THE TINDER SWINDLER” – Except you don’t get any fancy trips or money flow. You just get a homeless man with bad hygiene, and a drug and alcohol problem.  Who moves in right away, and how does he get so comfortable so fast!

And the Dick, “is the dick good though?” or is it the only consistent thing he can give you, because well, its FREE!

There are so many other scams Kirk has run and is running now. So much that whole chapter books can be written. 

Kirk needs to be avoided at all costs. He will lie, manipulate, abuse you. Physically and emotionally.

All his Ex’s agree he would be better in jail or on another spiritual plain. He is a text book Psychopath/Sociopath.

[livingecho-arch]

Questions About Creating Your OCs   –––– accepting ! 

@magioffire​   /  14 . If you had to narrow it down to 2 things that you MUST keep in mind while working with your OC, what would those things be? 

number one . secrets  &  lies . never EVER let him slip up  &  tell someone about the things he hides from the world .  vis has a few things he hides  &  he does his damndest to make sure no one finds them out or his life is on the line . he’s a liar  &  a good one at that . he’s mastered coming up with reasons , excuses  &  more to cover up true intentions . although if your muses does know his secrets he loses some of that ability as , well –– there is nothing to hide anymore ? he may end up telling little lies out of habit & still not wanting you to be snooping around but that leads me to the second one :

number two . its him & his daughter vs. the world . that's it . he will kill , backstab , cheat , lie  &  anything else for her . you think you're friends with his ? hell , even in love with him ? if your muse does something that actively hurts vivian or even accidently ––– he will not hesitate to kill you  &  make sure no one finds your remains ever again . he will spin an air tight lie that no one will question him as he waters the rose bush he buried you under . 

@iithildim​   /  8 .  What (if anything) do you relate to within their character/story? 

with vis’ character a lot of his ego comes from my own so i relate on that front . of course his is a much more exaggerated version of my own but the point stands we’re both perfect in every way possible ✨ .  he’s also a person to make sure things get done both business wise  & renovation things . i’m kinda the same but mines more so making for my partner filed their taxes & that the bathroom is clean lol 

ray  & vis learning to open up to each other is nice ! i struggle sometimes & often i put up a front of how i wish to be perceived ( even on this blog i work hard to make sure i fit in with the standards of the RPC while also remaining readable & fun ) cause i need that mask for people to like me ;;; 

story wise its harder to relate considering its a dystopia revolution with political things going on ( tho if we look at current events all over the world . . . ) but the whole point of the comic is pretty much treat everyone with respect even if they have horns or missing limbs or whatever disorder ! being in  &  out of psych hospitals since i was 14-ish has taught me people don’t . . . care ??? they don’t see how the world is just made for ablebody / ableminded people . many times in my time in the hospital i’m helping other patients to the point where they said fuck the doctor imma talk to ansem he’s more understanding ! 

@bransles​  /   14 blair beat you to that one, 15, 16, and 17 for the oc meme . 

15. What is something about your OC can make you laugh?

i like this ongoing thing were someone brings up a fetish & he’s just 👁👁 or him screaming when someone asks if his wife pegged him in a roundabout fashion . 

i like it when he breaks that ‘ oh i’m so charming & rich ’ persona & is left fumbling for his words . i also enjoy the fact vivian was a little terror & would climb on everything she could with just her arms . she’s so fucking strong & would try to jump from her curtain to her bed & vis is running after her . also love how just bends to the will of his daughter . like the song When Veruca Says  he’s running around like a chicken without a head to make her happy. this toddler has too much power of him & she is VERY AWARE OF THAT . 

16. What is something about your OC can make you cry?

the ending of his story cause he’s just so full of anger  &  misery  &  hate –– too many emotions  &  he just lashes out not sure what he could have done differently . he’s desperate to fix the mistake even though there was nothing he did that caused it . he just has to learn how to live with it . in the end he’s just where he was at the start . feeling alone in a large house wishing he could fix things for his daughter & him . 

also him having to hide a big part of him :( he’s so scared & disgusted at himself for having a disability that it would bring him to tears at the fact when he tells someone they just don’t think it's a big deal ! he holds a lot of shame that he’s not ‘ perfect ’ .

17. Is there some element you regret adding to your OC or their story?

he got boomer mentality lol ya know the whole : ‘ oh you’re just being lazy . if you worked harder you would be able to afford a house . you lot would rather complain that do any hard honest work . ’ that might be cause he is rich & just . . .  doesn’t understand . i would remove it but like i think it would be funny if someone smacked him for being an asshole . it’s also good character growth for him during the comic to unlearn that thought process so i guess it’s fine ? it just feel bad when someone opens up to him & he’s just like ‘ lol do better ’

i also really gotta stop it with the dead love trope . i got too many ocs with dead lovers . *points at self in mirror* stop it . why do you this . let them be happy . 

[oddlyhale]

As much as I begin to see the horrors of RWBY fndm and how crazed BB fans can be, there'll probably be no comparison to the psychotics I had to deal with in the HH fndm.

While I can totally find myself being tolerant with all RWBY ships, there's something territorial when it comes to HH ships. It's a different beast on its own, especially with the popular artists that can and will control their fanbase.

Boy do I have a tale of 2020 that had me deal with the mental gymnastics these wild shippers put me through. The sheer hypocrisy, the fear fans had of standing up to them, the collective harassment.

In a synopsis, before we start:

Hi, my name is Hale.

Alfa and Alex are probably the most psychotic people I’ve ever met when it comes to my online daily life. I used to think my ex-friends were the bane of my existence, but Alfa and Alex started making me think just how angelic my exes were in comparison.

So let’s begin.

When I first met the Double AAs, it was Alex first (awhile back in late-June 2020 during Vaggie Week) but it was indirect. I was on my Instagram when I was tagged by a random user in something Alex had drawn. This was when I first saw the kill art of Vaggie. I was so upset that I had yelled at this random user for tagging me, as well as showing it via screencap on my twitter, as a warning to never do this to me to my followers. Keep in mind, I had censored Alex’s name from the screencap, not the random user.

However, Alex saw this somehow and became hysterical, thinking I was targeting him for what he drew. This caused an uproar of his fans to come attack me, and it did cause me to become scared and get away from my account. Alfa decided to insert herself into the mix, but I didn’t care enough for her to say anything. It was mostly Alex and how much he was “scared” and cried about the “fandom being so hateful and scary.” He went private for a while I believe, but Alfa was still going hard at me and sending more of her fans to come harass me.

If Alex ever says he is a strong and brave man, don’t believe him. He fears the HH fandom.

Anyhow, after Alfa’s fans had done their best to gaslight me, I didn’t give in. In fact, I made amends with the random user that tagged me. Somehow they assumed I would like the art of Vaggie being killed, which was childish to even believe in. Nonetheless, I forgave them, and we moved on from there.

But even when we both resolved this together, Alfa and Alex decided that it would be fun to make this “kill Vaggie art” a meme, or trend. With their huge followings combined, they were able to get their artist fans to join in and start creating so much hate art of Vaggie. Many of them drew her head being cut off, mutilated, raped and cheated on.

Alfa and Alex adore gaslighting the hell out of people. While they draw such hideous things, they will go ahead and say, “but it’s just fiction, it’s not real,” and call you psychotic for even caring so much about their bad behaviour. I can only imagine what Alfa’s husband goes through everyday since Alfa loves to make people second-guess themselves often.

Keep in mind, Alfa and Alex are the same people who will cry and shake when their fictional ship is invalidated and written out. They often wish nothing good for Viv and her team that are providing these ungrateful children with the show and content they so badly want. It shows you just how privileged they had grown up as children, doesn’t it?

This wasn’t fun, it was horrible. I didn’t realize just how many toxic people existed in the HH fandom until this “trend” began to spread.

But the funny thing that I'll never forget is how apeshit Alfa went when I had the audacity to draw Alastor plus sized. She accused me of being a pedophile, supporting MAPs. Even though she leans towards being pro-ship (likes incest, OK with lolicon, will condone drawing necophilia.) But me? Having the sheer audacity of drawing Alastor fat? It burned her so bad.

As well, this was being pushed on the VAs during a small livestream. The chat wouldn’t stop asking, “what do you think of the Vaggie kill art going around?” Of course the VAs ignored these questions, but it was really rude to even ask these things. Especially when Vaggie’s VA was in the same livestream.

But then this trend was proven to be a lie, by Alex’s own words. He dropped the ball in a one-off conversation with an anti that “he only created this to get back at the Chaggie shippers.” So retroactively, this trend was worthless.

What also began to start becoming obvious was that Alfa was too afraid to do anything on her own, and thus, she will recruit some darlings to defend her. Alfa seems to have more defenders than she has any confidence to defend herself, and when she has no choice but to stand up for herself, she will buckle and hide. She is weak, is what I had learnt.

I decided to just ignore Alex and Alfa as much as I could. With a friend though, I was given updates of what was happening on the Double AAs’ side in the meantime, and it’s amazing to see just how vile they can be with their own fans and haters. Especially with their new puppy named Salty. (I think that’s their name, another weak ass bitch.)

As months went by, the major event that stirred from the AA camp was when they were harassing Pastel Sky. This would be where the big reveal of just how horrible the AAs and their friends truly are, when they have nobody to harass except for kids. HH has a wide audience of children involved in this fandom, hence why many other artists keep saying we should try to be good examples for them, and keep them safe. But not for the AAs.

Pastel was ruthlessly attacked by them and it was all unwarranted. What they were angry about was that Pastel had the nerve to have negative opinions when it came to AAs, and they broke their own rule of “don’t like then block.” Even Galactic Potatoes (Spuds) would go out of their way, again, to gaslight Pastel into believing that what attacks she received on Twitter was allowed, because Pastel was asking for it. Spuds is well-known to gaslight, a thing they had learnt from the AAs quite often.

Pastel was a minor at the time, and it really doesn’t matter if Pastel was just 17. I don’t care if Pastel was only 17 and that “well she’s almost 18,” because regardless of age, harassment is not the answer. Follow by that, fighting with minors is actually fucking stupid and braindead. Spuds tried very hard to justify why attacks were OK, and that Pastel “should learn” how to grow up. I then learnt that Spuds went into hiding afterwards.

That was until the Double AAs’ discord chats were exposed, showing that they were practically mouth-watering at Pastel’s pain, romanticizing her apparent abuse and trying to convince each other how her punishment on Twitter was correct. Even one (I believe was Jay because he loves me and wants me back) wished that I would die. This would be the third time he asked me to die indirectly, which justifies my points on how toxic and abusive they are.

This entire event seemed to have unraveled a new wave of truths, and it’s sad to know it had to take a literal minor to have their masks fall off.

In 2021, Alex was exposed to be a thief. Stealing commission money for “stress pills.” If Alex is on a path of drug addiction, I hope it’s not the case. That’s a terrible place to be, and hopefully he’ll be clean and grow up for once. I still don’t care enough about Alfa, after now knowing all she is, is just a dramatic housewife with nothing better to do in her life. Perhaps if they just got jobs instead of stealing money from fans, they’d be leading well-productive lives.

From what I understand, many of the toxic fans of the Double AAs have either dropped HH fandom, or have deleted their accounts. Good, I hope they stay gone. The fandom deserves better, not trash.

Needless to say, the best advice I can give to those in the HH fandom that come facing the Double AAs is to not be afraid of them.

Over time, once you get used to their behaviour, you come to realize that this is their default. They’re not likable, they’re not nice, and they aren’t appreciative of one singular thing you do for them (hence Alex stealing from his own fans.)

It’s their M.O., they are just that cruel. So don’t fear them, but challenge their behaviour. Don’t stoop to their level of wanting to draw hateful art, though, that will fuel them. Talking down to them like their idiots always works like a charm.

Anyways, thanks for reading.

If anybody from the Double AAs’ camp ever finds this and reads it, I just wanna say that you are doing a great job, sweety. Thanks for proving me right by the new year. I appreciate the honesty for once. It only took you a year, just think of what other things you’ll do in the next year.

[ororowrites]

Stripped -  (Yahya x Black OC)

Sweet Thang Series - Chapter 2

Warnings: Language

Word count: 2,735

One-Shot: By the Open Fire

Chapters: 1

By the end of the first song, Candace was in her comfort zone. Yahya never let his eyes leave her and she no longer felt shy. The club had rules about no touching but Candace suddenly wanted this man’s hands all over her. Those long fingers and smooth brown skin were doing things to her. Maybe it was the liquor making her horny over a man she didn’t even know. 

Little did Candace know, Yahya had thoughts racing in his mind too. He couldn’t stop thinking about her petite body under his or how her lips would feel on him. Candace was a beautiful woman and something about her intrigued Yahya. When she straddled his legs and began to grind on his lap, the urge to touch her grew. The scent of her perfume was as intoxicating as her hips, almost putting a spell on him. 

It must have been the alcohol that gave Candace the courage to make her next move. She could feel his breath on her lips before they were interrupted by the dance timer. The euphoria they had experienced quickly disappeared as they fell back to Earth. 

“Shit, sorry,” Candace apologized, swinging her legs to the floor. Yahya became any other customer and she held her hand out to collect her payment. “Thank you. You enjoy the rest of your night.” 

Yahya opened his mouth but Candace was already heading out the door, stuffing the bills in her bra. 

-------

Well into the next morning, Yahya was still thinking about the mystery girl from the club. He’d been to many strip clubs and never felt a connection with any of the ladies he encountered. Something about her grabbed him and sucked him in and had her on his mind hours later. 

“You still stuck on that hoe from the club.” Damon lit his blunt and relaxed his head against the back of the sofa. “Nigga, we ain’t taking you to the club again.”

“Word on the street is that the shawties at Dynasty have golden pussy or some shit,” his brother added with a drug induced chuckle. 

“Respect the ladies, man. Being a stripper doesn’t make them hoes. And Kevin that’s enough kush for you. Golden pussy? Really,” Yahya snatched the blunt from his friend and put it back in the ashtray. 

“Aight, let me respect the skrippas. But still, you don’t know her. What if she’s crazy? You will be going back home tomorrow night and no tellin’ when you’re coming back to LA, so why does it matter,” Damon explained. 

“Both of ya’ll are some fucking haters. Trash asses.” Yahya grabbed his phone and took his troubles to the balcony. Kevin and Damon were great friends but their childish, misogynistic antics got on his nerves when he was around them. At times, he felt like he was outgrowing them, even though he still considered them brothers he never had. While he was looking to settle down sooner rather than later, they were stuck in the same phase they were in throughout high school and college and it appeared to be a never ending cycle. 

Was it ridiculous to think that the stripper he met at the club was the one? Yep. But, that didn’t keep Yahya from wishing he could see her again before he was back to the reality of being jobless. 

-------

“Are you sure you saw him with her?” The very question had Candace’s heart pounding against her chest. Natalie, Maxwell’s ex-girlfriend, had entered the picture again after Candace thought her dropping out of school was the blessing they needed. Now with her back in California via North Carolina, she had access to Maxwell as did he to her. 

“Sis, would I lie to you? I saw that bastard with her in the Commons. Took everything out of me not to run up on them and start whooping ass,” Trinity said, fuming on her sister’s behalf. Truth be told, she never liked Maxwell and knew the type of guy he was from the beginning. Maxwell was charming and had the ability to make any girl weak in the knees. Especially a woman like her sister that was in love with being in love. 

Anger built from the pits of her stomach. Feelings of betrayal had never quite faded since they had made up and she ignored it in the name of love. “Did he see you?” 

“Nope. But I’ll make myself seen when it comes to my sister. Candy, why are you still trying to make things work with this immature, cheating ass, motherfucker? I try to hold my tongue like you ask but I refuse to hold it again. You’re too good for him.” When it came to family. Trinity was the sister that would physically fight for her siblings. At times, Candace admired her sister’s tenacity and wished she wasn’t as timid when it came to relationships with people. That was one negative trait that kept Candace anchored to people that did not deserve her time. 

“I honestly don’t know.” Tears began to form in Candace’s eyes as the shame set in for her. She knew Maxwell was no good for her but he always found a way back into her heart. “I’m...um...I’m going to talk to him.”

“Candace,” Trinity called out, noticing her sister’s emotions getting the best of her. “Please don’t cry over that man. Please.” 

If only Candace knew her worth. 

-------

Candace took the scenic route to Maxwell’s apartment, playing different scenarios in her head on the way. If she murdered him, where would she hide the body? Did she just hit him with questions or soften him up first? 

None of those scenarios played out once Candace reached her destination and was met by Natalie in the hall outside Maxwell’s apartment. The three of them froze, each of them searching for words to break up the awkward moment. 

“I should get going. I’ll call you when I get home,” Natalie mumbled, lowering her eyes and pushing past Candace. 

“I knew that apology was a lie and you were full of shit,” Candace spoke through clenched teeth. She was taught to never put her hands on anyone and it took a strong prayer to keep her fists at her sides. “What the hell is Natalie doing here and don’t even think about lying.” 

Maxwell didn’t even put up a fight. Besides, after the news he had learned, he didn’t have the energy to lie or smooth talk his way out of this one. 

“What was she doing here, Maxwell?”

“Natalie’s pregnant,” he replied, leaning against the wall across from Candace. He watched as his girlfriend’s face fell blank. “I fucked up and I’m sorry for that. You don’t deserve the shit I put you through.” 

Still lost for words, Candace slid down the wall until her rear hit the concrete floor. Pregnant. That had to be the final straw, right? The game they had been playing for the past three years had come to a tragic end that Candace feared. 

“Baby, I’m so sorry. I know I stay apologizing but I mean it. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” 

“Yeah, you did.” 

Maxwell kept his distance. “Did what?” 

“If you didn’t mean to hurt me, this would have stopped after the first incident. But I gave you chance after chance and you still didn’t fucking stop. I’m done, Max. I can’t put myself through this shit because it’s obvious you won’t stop. I’m foolish to even think you would,” Candace spoke in a hushed tone, never raising her voice or releasing the tears that threatened to fall. 

“I’m-”

“I don’t wanna hear another one of your tired excuses. I sure the hell hope your dick is clean. I’ll come back for my shit another day.” 

“Candy, come on-” 

“Move! Don’t fucking touch me.” Blood rushed to Candace’s face as the embarrassment set in and she could no longer look Maxwell in the eye. This relationship had become a part of her identity and she allowed it to consume her so much that she forgot to love herself. “We’re done, Maxwell.” 

Candace ignored the apologies and groveling. A weight lifted off her shoulders and she didn’t intend to put it back ever again. 

------

Yahya had one more day to enjoy Los Angeles before he had to return to San Francisco to figure out his next move. He was desperate to burn off steam and decided to hit the park for a workout. The skies were clear, granting Yahya  a good dose of vitamin D while he ran the steps. He pushed himself to do one more set before taking a lap around the trail for a cool down. Yahya was so focused, he didn’t notice Candace approaching him from the opposite sidewalk. 

“Hey...wassup,” he said, removing his headphones when he finally saw the brown beauty in his path. 

“Hey. Didn’t think I’d run into one of my customers...ever,” Candace chuckled nervously. The breakup had her emotions all over the place and gave her the bravado to approach a man from the club. Keeping those two lives separate  was important to her except in that moment. 

“Oh, yeah? Well, I don’t want to think of myself as your customer. That’s a little weird,” Yahya admitted, earning a nod from Candace in agreement. “But since we’re outside of your job, can I get your real name?” 

“Candace.”

“Nice to meet you Miss Candace. I’m Yahya.”

A short, awkward moment of silence gave Candace time to get a better look at the man she had danced on in a dark strip club. Beautiful dark brown skin covered a body that looked like it was sculpted with the utmost care. If you looked up tall, dark and handsome in the dictionary, Yahya’s picture would be used as the definition. Once her eyes traveled back up to his face, his bright, white smile captured her and held on for dear life. The man was fine and seeing him in the light had Candace acting like a shy, school girl. 

“You live around here,” Candace asked, breaking the silence. 

“No, I’m visiting my boys from back home. I’m living in San Francisco right now. I go back tomorrow evening,” he explained, looking Candace over. She was petite compared to his 6′3 frame. “You?” 

“I’m from Chicago but moved here to go to school. Trying to live the dream, ya know?” 

“I hear that,” Yahya nodded. “Well Candace, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that we ran into each other. Would you like to get a recovery smoothie with me? My treat. Unless you’re still in the middle of your workout.” 

“I can cut out early. I know a good smoothie spot not too far from here if you don’t mind walking.” 

Yahya’s smile grew, “Sounds like a plan, let me put on a shirt.” 

Or not, Candace thought to herself. 

--------

After the ice was broken, Candace and Yahya began to enjoy each other’s company. The break-up earlier that day was still on Candace’s mind, but she felt at ease being around Yahya. Sure, they didn’t know one another on a deep level, yet she could sense Yahya’s compassion. When she spoke, his eyes stayed on her and he truly listened. One thing that irked her about Maxwell was his inability to listen below the surface level. 

“That’s too bad. Many of these fellas out here don’t appreciate their lady until she’s gone.” Maxwell sounded like many men Yahya knew and the type of man his parents raised him not to be. He could see the hurt in Candace’s face when she described what had led up to the end of their relationship. 

“Yeah, it’s just a shame I wasted my time and my heart on a guy that didn’t want to protect it.”

“His loss, your win.” 

Dumping personal information on a stranger was not how Candace usually moved, nonetheless it felt good. “I’m sorry for treating you like a therapist.”

“Nah, you’re good. You had a rough day. I don’t mind listening.” 

“Thanks, but I wanna hear more about you. What do you do in expensive ass San Francisco,” Candace quizzed, sipping her raspberry/banana smoothie. 

Yahya hoped telling Candace about his unemployment wouldn’t ruin his chances. He still hadn’t shared the news with anyone else. “I was a City Planner for the Mayor’s office but I was laid off on Friday. I honestly don’t even know what the hell I’m going to do when I go back home.” 

One of Candace’s strongest traits was her empathy. She had no issue stepping into a person’s shoes and feeling what they felt. Those that were worthy enough to spend time with her felt Candace’s warmth right away. Yahya could feel it, which is why he felt comfortable sharing the news with her.

“I’m sorry, Yahya. Shit sucks when you get well into your career and your job is in another person’s hands,” Candace sucked her teeth and shook her head. “Are you thinking about staying there and getting another job?”

“To be honest, I need a change of scenery. Maybe this was a blessing in disguise because I think I got comfortable in my lifestyle. I loved my job but things were stagnant,” he explained, tracing the lettering on his smoothie cup. “Right now, I’m thinking about taking a break and figuring out what I want to do from there. I’ll get unemployment, so I’ll manage until I find another career that makes me happy.” 

“That’s brave of you. I’m too damn scary and would need to have a plan right away. Good luck with that. You seem to be a determined man so you’ll find your way. I’m hoping I can graduate and get into Yale then we will see if I make a career out of this acting thing. If not, I’ll go back to school for education and teach theatre.” 

“Wow, Yale? I did some acting classes back in the day and they seemed pretty cool. I don’t know if I have the talent to get into a school like Yale though. I need to work on my Denzel cry first.” The two shared a laugh and finished up their smoothies. 

Time passed as their conversation ranged from discussing their childhoods to recent life events. They were so deep into discussion, they didn’t notice that two hours had gone by since they first arrived at the smoothie shop. Candace was more easy going than Yahya thought. That shy exterior had fallen down, exposing the sweet and funny side of her. Like many women in the stripping industry, her persona in the club was a lot different from her true self. He wished he could get to know more of that side.

They walked back towards the park, where their cars were parked on a side street. Yahya walked Candace to her Jeep and waited for her to load the backseat with her duffle bag. 

“Thanks for the smoothie and talk. I needed that more than I thought,” Candace closed the back door and stood in front of the driver’s side door. “Dr. Yahya is a great listener, even though we’re complete strangers.” 

“It doesn’t have to be that way. I wasn’t kidding about taking some acting classes with you when I’m in town,” he replied, flashing his wide grin. 

“I’ll hold you to that Mr. Abdul-Mateen. Like I said, acting is like recess so it’ll be fun. Who knows, maybe you’re a natural at the shit.” 

“We’ll see, we’ll see. I won’t hold you up, you should probably get home before it gets too dark. Text me when you make it.” 

“Alright. Thanks again, Yahya. For real,” Candace’s soft curls blew over her face as the wind picked up. 

“You’re welcome. Thank you for listening to me ramble. Get home safely and don’t forget to let me know.” Yahya leaned in and placed a soft kiss on Candace’s cheek. The simple act almost made her melt into a puddle in the LA street. Opening her car door, Yahya waved her inside. “Bye, Candace.” 

“See you later.” 

Candace drove away feeling like a new chapter of her life was on the horizon and she was ready to face whatever it had in store. 

Taglist: @blackburnbook​ @just-peachee​ @emjayewrites​

Want a tag? Let me know. 

[buckeverlasting]

Just for Us | Ch. 2: For Bucky, too

Series pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader x Bucky Barnes

Summary: Steve Rogers only meant to share you with his best friend Bucky Barnes just once, but now all three of you have to learn the hardest lesson together: sex does not always equal love, and love does not always equal kindness. (College AU)

A/N: After a two year hiatus from this series, I decided to take it in a different direction, so I’ve made some changes!

Word count: 2,744

Series warnings: explicit sexual content, alcohol, cheating, dubcon, daddy kink, angst

Series Masterlist

The leaves were turning, and the air was crisp. But the hand enclosed around yours as you crossed the quad was big and warm and made you feel safe. You smiled to yourself. Now that you and Steve had been dating a few weeks, you’ve fallen into a routine of getting breakfast at a diner near campus after your 8AM lecture. You both brought your textbooks and managed to finish some school work over bottomless cups of coffee. 

“I was hoping I’d find you guys here.” Bucky stood over your table. He wasn’t grinning as usual. He actually looked pretty grim, with dark circles under his eyes, which looked kind of puffy.

“Sit down, Buck,” Steve said. “You don’t look so great.”

“Well, I couldn’t sleep last night.” Bucky grabbed a chair from another table and drew it up next to Steve.

“Is something wrong?” you asked.

“Yeah,” Bucky said. “Dolores broke up with me. I know we weren’t dating super long, but it still really fucking sucks.”

Steve reached for Bucky’s shoulder and gave it a hearty shake. “She didn’t deserve you.”

Bucky just stared at the chipped tabletop.

“Yeah,” you added. “She must be an idiot to break up with someone like you.” 

Bucky looked up at you, and Steve turned away from Bucky to look at you, too.

“I mean, she clearly doesn’t know your worth.” You could feel the heat coming off your cheeks. “You’re worth, like, twenty Dolores’s.”

The men just stared at you in silence, so you looked back down into your coffee. Of course you had noticed Bucky. He was Steve’s best friend and probably just as good looking. You had gotten to know him better over the past few weeks. Beyond being handsome, you noticed he was smart, too, and he could be goofy at times, which you found to be quite charming. Above all else, you noticed how close he and Steve were. They had grown up together, gone to high school together, and were now in college together, living in the same house off campus. 

They didn’t say anything, but fortunately, the waitress came and asked Bucky if he wanted anything to eat. Thankfully the rest of the conversation turned to Dolores and her faults and then to the paper they had due next week.

The next day, you were sitting on Steve’s bed, both of you studying, when Bucky barged in. You and Steve look up at Bucky, slightly disheveled and still looking tired.

“I saw Dolores kissing another dude outside the library,” he said. 

“I thought, after our talk yesterday, you hated her,” Steve said.

“If I didn’t then, I definitely do now,” Bucky said. “But she doesn’t even have the decency to give it at least a week.”

“Poor Bucky.” You pointed to the chair beside the bed. “Why don’t you sit down?” 

He flopped into the chair and covered his eyes with his hands. “This sucks so much. I mean, I don’t care if she’s seeing someone else, but it just makes me feel…”

“Angry?” Steve suggested.

“I’m a little angry, but it’s not that,” Bucky said.

“Rejected?” you offered.

“Yes! Thank you!” He took his hands off his eyes and pointed at you. “She gets it!”

“Not only have I been rejected, I’m less desirable than that other guy!” he said. “I feel...unworthy or something.”

“That’s ridiculous,” you said. “Just because some idiot girl dumps you and then starts making out with some other guy does not mean you’re unworthy. It just means you haven’t found someone who appreciates you yet.”

Bucky and Steve stared at you again. There was no waitress to save you here. You’d have to dig yourself out of this one.

“You just haven’t found the right person yet,” you said. 

Bucky put his hands back over his eyes. “I guess that makes sense, but I still feel like shit.”

“I think I know something that might help Bucky,” Steve said to you.

“What?” Bucky didn’t bother uncovering his eyes.

“You’re going to have to leave for a moment, Buck,” Steve said. “I have to talk something over with Y/N first.”

He got up and headed for the door. “Whatever. Come get me when you finish talking.” He slammed the door behind him.

“Okay, Bucky is clearly hurting, and I think I know what could cheer him up,” Steve said. “But you only do this if you’re comfortable, okay? I want you to fuck him. I’ll be there, but I’ll just be watching.”

You stared at him, blinking dumbly.

“I couldn’t help but notice how you look at him lately,” Steve said. “It’s okay if you want to do this.”

“I don’t know what to say,” you said.

“Well, let me put it simply: will you fuck my best friend for me to cheer him up?”

You weren’t surprised that Steve noticed your growing crush on his best friend. You did a terrible job of hiding it. “I’ve never been in a relationship where…”

“Let me put it another way: you will be a good girl for Daddy and fuck Bucky?”

“So, what are the rules?” Bucky asked from where he lay on the bed.

“I’m okay with you fucking her or eating her out or even having her suck your dick if she wants,” Steve said. “But under no circumstances are you two to kiss. You got that?”

“Aye, aye!” Bucky saluted Steve.

“You got that, baby girl?” Steve asked.

You got up on your toes to reach Steve’s cheek and gave him a little peck. “Of course.”

“Okay, I’m going to ask one more time, Y/N.” Steve took a seat in the armchair beside the bed. “Is my little girl alright with letting Bucky fuck her?”

You bit your lip and nodded. You were standing next to the bed, where, a couple feet away from you, Bucky reclined, shamelessly looking you up and down in your lingerie. You looked to Steve in his chair, his eyes fixed on yours.

“Use your words, baby girl,” Steve said.

“Yes,” you said.

“Yes, what?” Steve asked.

“Yes, Daddy,” you said.

“Good girl.” Steve took your hand and kissed the back. “Now, I want you to be a very good girl for my best friend, Bucky. He really needs a good time, and I can’t possibly think of a better time than fucking you.”

You smiled at Steve. “Thank you, Daddy.”

“Now, I want you to let Bucky see what’s underneath that pretty lingerie.” Steve let go of your hand.

You reached a hand up your back to unfasten your bra.

“Wait.” Bucky got up on his knees and reached towards you. “Can I?” He looked to Steve who smiled and nodded.

You backed up to the edge of the bed. You felt a tug on the clasp of your bra, and you felt a knuckle graze your skin. You bolted upright.

“No need to be jumpy, baby doll,” Bucky whispered in your ear. “I’m not going to hurt you. Stay still, please.” He unclasped your bra, and you hunched your shoulders and shrugged it off, letting it fall to the floor. 

“Now, turn around for him so he can see you,” Steve said.

You slowly turned around to face Bucky, who took one of your breasts in his hand and lowered his mouth to it. With just the tip of his tongue, he flicked your nipple. You whimpered slightly and felt your nipples harden. Bucky circled your stiff nipple with his tongue, while looking up at you with his deep ocean blue eyes, the corners of his mouth turned up in a grin. He closed his lips around it, alternately sucking gently and swirling his tongue, and he crept one hand down the front of your panties. He curled a finger up into your folds. He released your nipple with a little pop.

“Your girl is soaking,” Bucky said over your shoulder to Steve.

“Baby girl, get up on the bed now,” Steve said.

You obeyed and crawled onto the bed next to Bucky who had begun undressing. He tossed his shirt to the floor. “Can you help me out?” He pointed to his belt buckle.

Biting your bottom lip, you reached out and undid his belt. You lowered his jeans and his boxer briefs together in one swift motion, letting his erection spring out. Your eyes widened. He was nearly as long as Steve but much thicker. “Don’t worry, baby doll,” he said. “We’ll make it fit.” His Cheshire Cat grin reassured you.

You heard the metallic jingle of another buckle. You looked over at Steve, who was unzipping his pants. He pulled out his own erection, gripping it at the base. You could tell by the length that he wasn’t fully hard yet. “Don’t watch me, baby girl. Keep your eyes on Bucky.”

You turned around. Bucky had kicked off his pants and flopped down on his back, his erection slapping against his taut abs. “Baby doll, do you want to suck me off?” Bucky asked. “You have such a pretty little mouth. I would love to see it wrapped around my fat cock.”

You crawled over to him and held his cock upright with both hands by the base. Looking down at it, you wondered how much of it you could even fit in your mouth.

“You can just lick it.” It was as if Bucky read your mind. 

You lowered your head and dragged your tongue along his length in several slow swipes. Bucky moaned quietly and shut his eyes. He gasped when you took the head in your mouth and began to trace your tongue around it. He tasted different than Steve, maybe just ever so slightly sweeter. You felt his hand in your hair, gently tugging at the roots.

“Fuck, that feels amazing,” Bucky said. “I can’t wait anymore. I have to know how you feel, baby doll.” 

“Lie down like a good girl now,” Steve said. You looked over at him. He was lazily stroking his cock, which was definitely now fully erect.

“Yes, Daddy.” You lowered yourself down and watched as Bucky hitched down your panties. You helped him by kicking free of them. He stilled your legs, with a hand on each thigh, and he gently spread them. You were now completely naked and exposed to Bucky.

Bucky crouched between your thighs. “Can I?” He looked up at you, a grin on his lips. 

You looked at Steve.

“Well, baby girl, do you want Bucky to eat your pussy?” Steve asked, still lazily stroking himself.

“I just want a little taste before I fuck you,” Bucky said.

You looked back at Bucky, who looked so happy and handsome and eager. You nodded.

Bucky lowered his head and softly lapped at your folds. He moaned. “Steve, she tastes amazing. You’re a lucky guy.”

Steve laughed. “So are you.”

You watched the top of Bucky’s head bob between your legs. His eyes turned up to yours, and he gave you a crooked grin. “You are truly beautiful,” he said. “I want to fuck you so bad. Are you ready?”

“Yes.” You could feel how wet Bucky had made you. You spread your legs wide and planted your feet firmly on the bed. You were ready. 

“Somebody’s eager.” Bucky laughed.

“Here you go.” Steve handed Bucky a condom and sat back down. The whole time he was watching you carefully.

Bucky unwrapped the condom and rolled it down his length. He rubbed the head against your clit, and you moaned. You looked over at Steve again. He was stroking himself faster now, this time his eyes trained on Bucky. 

“Look at me, baby doll,” Bucky said. “Let me know if it hurts, and I’ll stop.”

“Okay,” you said. “I’m ready.”

Bucky eased the head in, and you gasped. “Too much?” he asked.

“No, it’s good. It’s good,” you said. In fact, you could already feel yourself begin to shake. Maybe it was Bucky who was so sexy, or maybe it was the fact that your boyfriend was watching and touching himself to the sight of another man fucking you. Maybe it was both.

Bucky slid in a little further. “Baby doll, you just got really wet. Is all this turning you on?”

He was reading your mind again. “Yes, it’s really hot,” you said in a low voice. “Now fuck me, Barnes.” You tried not to think about how it would make Steve feel to hear you ask another man to fuck you. This was his idea after all.

Bucky bottomed out, grinding against your pelvis, and you let out a sharp cry. He didn’t stop, though. His thrusts were powerful but slow and measured, gradually gaining speed, until he was pounding you in the mattress. You could feel the heat rising from your core, but then he stopped.

“I want you to ride me.” He pulled out and rolled over onto his back.

Shakily, you straddled him and lined yourself up and then speared yourself on his enormous cock. You both groaned. You looked into his eyes and bit your lip.

“I want you to get yourself off fucking me,” he said.

Planting both hands on his chest, you began to roll your hips. He took one of your breasts into your mouth, and you cried out as he nipped at it. He reached between you and rubbed small circles with his thumb on your clit. The heat was rising again, and you could feel yourself beginning to convulse. You paused rolling your hips, and Bucky grabbed you by the butt and began thrusting up into you, finally sending you over the edge. Your pussy clamped down on his cock, and he moaned your name. That sent you over the edge again, and he continued to fuck you through your orgasm until he finally finished with a few final, mighty thrusts. 

You realized you had your eyes closed the whole time. You opened them and saw Bucky was looking up at you. His gaze was soft through his eyelashes. You gave him a shy half-smile.

“No need to be shy,” he said. “We just fucked each other’s brains out.” There he was reading your mind yet again. He reached up and brushed the hair out of your eyes and cupped your cheek for a moment. You put your hand on his.

“Baby girl.” Steve was standing next to the bed now, stroking himself vigorously. “Get on your knees, please. It’s time for your special treat for being such a good girl.”

Obediently, you climbed off of Bucky, his now limp cock sliding out of you, and you crawled over to Steve, getting down from the bed and onto your knees. Expectantly you opened your mouth and closed your eyes. You felt ropes of hot cum splatter across your face, some of it landing in your mouth. You swallowed hungrily. When you opened your eyes, Steve was ready with a tissue to wipe your face off.

“Does my baby girl need any aftercare?” Steve asked.

“I could always use some cuddles,” you said.

“Why don’t you wash your face, and then we can cuddle and go to sleep,” Steve said.

“What about Bucky?” you asked.

“What about Bucky?” Steve asked.

“Does he need aftercare?”

Steve looked up at Bucky who was wiping himself clean with a tissue. “Buck, are you good?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” Bucky said. “I’ll head out. Just let me get dressed.”

“We’re just going to kick him to the curb?” you asked.

“He said he’s fine,” Steve said.

“Do you want to get in on these cuddles?” you asked Bucky.

“I could always use some cuddles,” Bucky said. “But only if it’s alright with Steve.”

“Steve?” You kissed him on the cheek. 

“Fine,” he said. “Bucky can stay the night. Now go wash up.”

When you returned from the bathroom, both men were under the covers of Steve’s queen-sized bed, without about two feet of space between them, which you guessed was meant for you. You crawled in between them and nestled yourself into Steve’s chest, like you do every night. Bucky scooted up close behind you, spooning you.

“Goodnight, everybody.” You could feel sleep catching up with you.

Steve planted a kiss on your forehead. “Goodnight, baby girl. I love you.”

“I love you, too,” you murmured.

Bucky patted your butt. “Goodnight, baby doll,” he whispered. “Thanks for tonight. Both of you.”

[oneweekoneband]

meet me behind the mall!!!!!!!!!

I don’t know why Taylor Swift thinks that teenagers drink wine, and I don’t know why she chose to record and release a wistful high-school-other-woman song which left me feeling naked as a frog and therefore furious. Some questions we ask only so as to be soothed by the familiar sound of our own voice, still there after all. The answers are not coming. 

The Taylor Swift Teen Love Triangle Triad of “cardigan”, “august”, and “betty” is the part of folklore that makes me most bullish about where Taylor is going as an artist. A turn away from writing songs which are intentionally meant to appear confessional and toward, instead, songs which reveal the personal as refracted through fictitious circumstances and made-up characters is a better use of her big, weird brain, and allows that brain to be unleashed on a broader plain of experience. It’s incredibly embarrassing to be an adult woman with my own problems to manage and to have living in my head Taylor Swift’s demented YA fiction, but it’s an embarrassment that feels appropriate, like I could never really have escaped this fate. On “betty” she gets to play-act as a contrite teen boy who knows he’s done wrong, and while obviously the most charming thing about the song is Taylor saying “fuck” (and also her giving us a little of the ol’ razzle dazzle by way of some light twang), her experiment with imagining what it’s like to be a skateboarding kid who hates dances, trying on an imagined teen boy interiority as a costume, is effective too. 

“cardigan” is more removed, less plaintive and shouty. This is a song from adult Betty’s perspective looking back on this period in her life and in her relationship with James, who the song seems to imply she is still with now. While—full offense—I believe marrying your high school girlfriend or boyfriend is a disorder which should have its own listing in the DSM, restoring order by putting the original couple back together so as to make the story one of true love triumphing over adversity, rather than a series of sketches of kids doing fuckup kid things just because it is not easy to be alive and to be alive alongside others and with gentleness, least of all when you are very new at it,  is the only conclusion this saga could ever have reached with Ms. Swift at its helm, and I do appreciate the consistent, if baby-brained, internal logic. I’ve never known a teenage girl whose signature garment was a cardigan and, frankly, this Betty sounds like sort of a self-absorbed drip (I do love, love, how Taylor’s own voice comes through so clearly on the lightly threatening, smug lines, “I knew you’d miss me once the thrill expired / And you’d be standing in my front porch light” !!) so I’m not totally surprised she got cheated on, but that’s very uncharitable of me and probably comes from the same meaty polyp in my brain that is responsible for my still loving all the hilariously mean-spirited, woman-hating songs on Speak Now.

“august” is about the other girl. The “her” in James’ rather pathetic defense, “slept next to her, but I dreamt of you all summer long”. “august” tells a story that brings to my mind another story. It is a story I won’t belabor because it is neither exciting nor unique. It will not illuminate an unexplored human experience, as it is, in fact, incredibly boring, regular, an incident which would be at home in any normal Tuesday, ordinary as meeting at the mall. This is a million years ago and there is a boy whose basement I go to sometimes after swim practice. We have matching team sweatpants with our names embroidered above the pocket at the right hip and I like to switch pairs. I’m you and you’re me and when we have pushed and bent the tiredness out of our muscles together, making experimental declarations in hushed voices down there while the furnace groans, well, then I’m you and me and you’re you and me and we are we are we are. 

One February day at twilight I bound out of the school building with wet hair and a fleece jacket, but his car is already gone. No worries. Standing at my locker the next afternoon like in a movie he will say, easy as anything, that he has a girlfriend, a family friend, two towns over, she goes to private school. You’ve probably met her, he says. And right then I remember that I have. Last year I did her zipper in the bathroom at a dance. We were fighting but we never really broke up, he says. For months you’ve been fighting? is all I say back. Fighting since October? As if that matters. Like that’s the point. My voice is pinched and ugly and I know I’ll hear that sound forever. Well, anyway... I feel bad. He doesn’t clarify for whom he feels bad. He’s got one sneaker toe working against the other one atop the tile floor that’s the murky green of sea glass. He looks at my St Brigid’s cross necklace, at the blue Masterlock hanging open like a broken jaw, at someone in a hoodie who punches his shoulder as they walk by. Nothing personal, he says, and there is a tiny smudge of cafeteria pizza at the corner of his mouth that I hadn’t noticed until that second and a day ago would’ve reached up and wiped away with the pad of my thumb, laughing. I get it, right? Oh, sure. 

The worst of it was not skipping pre-calc to cry in the bathroom, since, I mean, I couldn’t actually do pre-calc and would never learn how, but was inspecting my soul in the dark when I couldn’t sleep that night and finding part of me had known this all along, had chosen to pretend, wanted the wanting so badly I’d knocked from my brain the truth of how it was going to end. This would not be the last false love from which I’d find myself unceremoniously discarded, and in time I’d learn to be the liar myself, too. It’s unseemly to pathologize bad decisions, to take on poor impulse control or self-destructive patterns as an identity, but I do think that just as some people are born serial monogamists, part of a twosome forever with very little mess in-between, some of us were built from the very first cell to live like a pool ball struck and banging teeth first into the wrong mouths and hearts. I can examine my romantic history and tap my finger against the obvious errors, the times I chose what I knew would hurt me, when I ascribed hope to situations where it did not belong, when I, like the narrator of “august”, regarded someone as not mine to lose but still put myself in the position to be harmed by the losing, yet I can’t produce alternative choices that feel realistic. If you are in love and it doesn’t work out, there is mourning, there is pain, but there is all the while a record which shows something happened, it was real. “august” stands somewhat apart in the Taylor Swift catalog as a song neither about the glory of true love or the heartbreak when it’s over, but about the small, paper cut heartbreaks that are inescapable during each day of an untrue love. “It was never mine”. When it turns out you were wrong the whole time, fooling yourself, then even remembering that you’d been happy in the lie is like being trapped in a fun house, body bent and broken in the mirror, a thing not built right for this world. 

“august” is about the girl who James was with over the summer, the girl he leaves to return to Betty. Taylor said it’s the first of the three that she wrote, and I fear this has warmed me to her in some new and unsettling way. I fear this means she’s matured as a person and writer, capable now of a more expansive view of situations, to be generous. It’s like how you shouldn’t feed gremlins after midnight; there is no telling what new and more dangerous creature this woman might turn into if she’s suddenly been taught empathy. When Taylor-as-James in “betty” sings, “Would you trust me if I told you it was just a summer thing?” in his effort to woo Betty back I hate him a little, that thoughtless child undeserving of the kind of adoration in lines like, “your back beneath the sun / wishing I could write my name on it.” I try to extend grace to this fictional boy, but I think of the “Do you remember? in “august” and I feel a little sick from being so certain that no... No, he doesn’t. Not really.

“Back when we were still changing for the better / wanting was enough / for me it was enough”. I’d like to think there is no last chance to change for the better. I’d like to think wanting is enough so long as you want the right thing. I’d like to think that God made sure Taylor Swift became a singer instead of a young adult novelist because the absolute last thing this world needed was this freak joining the circus that is YA Twitter. Most of all, I like thinking that Judy Blume knows that her beautiful, searing, devastatingly romantic and also textually gay 1998 novel Summer Sisters is the only important book that has ever been published, and, further, that the world will show me the respect of understanding and accepting that “august”, when removed from the context of the Swiftian child romance trilogy, sounds as if it were specifically written in homage. Taylor, I know I’ve accused you of at least fifty crimes this week alone, but if you want to talk about Summer Sisters, please get in touch.

[stevesnailbat]

2 and 12 A, you pick who!

“you aren’t who I thought you were.” + “i can’t trust you anymore.”

summary: Steve doesn't want his girlfriend finding out about his dark secrets, but she does.

warnings: a little angsty

word count: 1.4K

She didn’t mean to eavesdrop on Steve, she really didn’t, it just happened. Waking up to an empty bed made her curious. The sheets next to her had been hastily thrown on top of her, like he’d gotten scared and ran away. She waited a few minutes in the bed, until she grew too curious. She made her way down the stairs, quieting her steps when she heard Steve’s voice and nobody else’s. He was on the phone and his voice was stricken with panic, sounding thick with fear and concern.

“I—I don’t know, Dustin. I know I should tell her, I know that! I know thinks something’s up—“ Steve rambled, cutting himself off as the boy on the other line spoke. “Of course something’s up, you of all people would know that! I don’t want to hurt her—yes, they’re back too. I can’t just give up our progress or drop everything to tell her just because I feel guilty for hiding it from her! You said that yourself—No, I just don’t know if I should tell her the truth or not.”

Her breath hitched in her throat as he spoke, knowing he was talking about her. As soon as she did took a breath, Steve went silent, hearing her from around the corner. His heart dropped to his chest at the thought of her hearing what he’d just said, but there wasn’t any coming back from it. He mumbled something to Dustin through the phone and put it back down on the receiver. She tried to stay silent, hoping he would just walk the other way, but knew it was unlikely. Steve rounded the corner to find her standing on the bottom stair, nearly frozen from shock.

“What the hell, Steve?” she hissed, eyes brimming with tears and voice bubbling with betrayal. 

“Y/N, I can explain—“ 

“Honestly, I don’t think I want you to explain! You did enough of that to Dustin on the phone, didn’t you?” she said spitefully, rolling her eyes as she jerked her arm from his touch when he reached for her. “You don’t know if you can tell me the truth or not? Then I can’t trust you anymore.”

“It’s not what you think it is, I promise. I’m—I’m not cheating on you or something like that.” he said, his voice sounding suspiciously hesitant. 

“Then what is it? Tell me!” she exclaimed, but he stayed silent, only staring at her with a guilty frown. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. Fuck this.”

She turned on her heels and headed up the stairs again, finding Steve’s room through teary eyes. He was following close behind her, mouth open as if he was trying to think of something to say the whole time. She didn’t turn around once to speak, and nearly slammed the bedroom door in his face when she got to his room. His hand caught the near miss of the wood against his face, continuing into his room as she reached for her clothes quickly. 

“Y/N, can we please talk about this?” he asked, reaching for her hand to pull her to him.

“Please don’t, Steve. Don’t make this harder than it already is.” she said, peering over at him while blinking some tears back. “You don’t deserve the chance to explain if all you’re gonna do is lie to me about what you did. You aren’t who I thought you were, Steve. You’re just a liar.”

His hand fell from hers and he sat on the corner of his bed, feeling his world seemingly begin to fall apart around him. He had finally learned to love again, finally learned to feel something again. And he fucked it up, just like he always did. Now he was the one who couldn’t hold back the tears. He watched as she packed to clothes that she’d always left at his house into a bag hastily, her sniffles being the only sound to fill the room. Steve wanted nothing more than for her to stay, but it would come at a price. And that price would be bringing another person into the fight against the Upside Down. 

Steve was radio silent as he watched her pack her things, his heart breaking as he sat in conflict with himself. She finally looked over to him, but felt no remorse for him when she saw the broken look on his face. As far as she knew, he’d only been with her to break her heart. A sigh escaped her lips as she broke from his gaze, turning to walk out the door without any last words. 

“My nightmares are back.” he said softly, watching as she stopped from turning the doorknob to look back at him. 

“I know, Steve.” she said, frowning at the thought of him struggling in his sleep almost every night that week. “What does that have to do with this? You’ve never told me why you have them, so why bring them up now?”

“I—They’re back because of what’s happening. Because I’m scared again.” he admitted, eyes wide as they finally met hers. “I haven’t been staying late at work because I’m cheating on you—I would never do that to you, Y/N. Dustin—He decided that he needed our help with cracking some code he intercepted from his Cerebro thing, you remember him telling us about that, right?”

“Yes, but I don’t understand what this has to do with you lying to me.” she stated, clearly annoyed with the situation.

“I don’t really—Shit. I don’t know how to even say this to you, you aren’t gonna believe me.” he sighed, she could tell that he was struggling with his thoughts and what to say to her. “If I tell you this, you just have to promise to listen, okay? It all sounds like some made up shit, but I swear to you, I’m telling the truth.”

She nodded hesitantly, only agreeing to listen because of the look on his face. There was no way he could fake the fear that had struck his eyes once he admitted he was having nightmares again, there was no way he could fake whatever he was about to admit to her. 

“Two years ago, my world changed forever.” he said, watching her quirk up an eyebrow at the seemingly dramatic line he just threw. “I’m not kidding, Y/N. When Barbara Holland went missing, everything in my life went to shit. Something took her from my—my yard. And those things, they’ve hurt plenty of other people in Hawkins too.”

“Like you?” she questioned, chewing on her lip as she watched Steve’s sincerely scared eyes.

“Yeah, kinda. I’ve never actually been hurt by one, but the whole situation has really, really messed me up, Y/N.” he said, his voice wavering as he spoke. “I wouldn’t have hid everything from you if it wasn’t dangerous.”

“Why’re the nightmares back now?” she asked, finally taking her hand off the doorknob after it sitting there for the whole conversation; she had finally gave in and realized how serious it truly was. “You’re all over the place right now, Steve."

“I know, I know. I’m trying to make a really, really long story into a short one.” he said, laughing bitterly at the thought of reliving everything in story form. “Dustin intercepted that code, and it’s something in Russian. I know these things are from another dimension or world or something, but I just have a feeling that this Russian code has something to do with the Upside Down.”

“I’m sorry did you just say these things are from another dimension?” she asked, eyes widening as he nodded in response. “What the hell—“

“I’m not making this shit up! It’s all crazy, I know. But that’s why I’m having the nightmares and that’s why I carry that stupid bat around with me—I know it sounds crazy but you have to believe and trust me. I don’t want you getting hurt because of this, I wanna keep you out of it—“

“Steve, you can’t just spring something like this on me and expect me not to want to help! I’m not letting you fight fucking Russians and monsters from another dimension by yourself!” she interjected, dropping the bag from her shoulder as she walked to stand in front of him.

“Y/N, you are not getting anywhere any of this—“

“Yes, I am! You’re not gonna go through this alone, Steve.” she demanded, narrowing her eyes at his desperation.

“I’m not gonna be alone! I don’t want you to get hurt like I have.” he said softly, his lips pulling into a deep frown.

“I’m gonna be fine, I’ll have you with me. But I’m not just gonna sit back and let this happen when I know what’s going on. Please, Steve.” she pleaded, cupping his cheeks while peering down into his fear-filled gaze. “I want to help, okay?”

“Okay.” Steve said with a nod.

tags: @sourapplebaby @harringtown @jxnehxpper @queenofthehairharrington @charmed-asylum @a-magey @daddystevee @heart-eye-harrington @lemonypink @igotmadskills @ilovebucketbarnes

[kareofbears]

Ok. . . but can you give an in-depth explanation as to how you feel about akeshu?

yes. 

rest is under the cut since this is going to be a long answer 

im a big big big big big fan of enemies to lovers. love it. loved the initial hate, the heightening tension between two characters with conflicting situations or personality types. i love the anger, the arguments, the sighs from everyone around them because they’re tired of the repetitive beef. during quarantine, i even wrote out and gave a verbal presentation to my beta explaining how an enemies to lovers arc would work through writing and all the needed dynamics in order to justify a person falling in love with their enemy. 

and yeah, the process is the best part of it. i want to be able to see the transition between worst enemy to begrudged partner to lover. that’s the best part!!! the character development!!! the molding around each other and learning to accept their character flaws!! the willingness to defend that flaw in front of other people!! 

but here’s where the problem lies: akechi goro. 

oh akechi. oh akechi goro, the bane of my existence and the object of affection by everyone in this god forsaken fandom. look, i get it. it’s really really fucking hard to resist the charm of akechi goro, i admit it. he’s so interesting, he’s so in-depth, he’s so cool and rugged and he’s such a bastard that you end up kind of being obsessed with him, and that’s fine. I'm also kind of obsessed with him. 

but i don't like him. because he isn’t a likeable character. there’s a huge difference between thinking he’s a fantastic character and loving him. because i don't love him. i hate him. i despise him. he’s caused so, so, so much grievance, so much pain to so many characters in persona that it honestly impossible to give him a redemption arc. it’s not possible. even if you go down the Black Star route (amazing fanfic, brilliant work) it still doesn't redeem him. he killed futabas mom (which literally led her to her spiraling depression and self hatred and manifested intense mental illness that led to her isolating herself from the world and made her lose her mom that she loves so much) and killed haru’s dad (how on earth can you justify that one??? god, haru wanted nothing more than to just see her dad happy again) and killed so many other random people!! and don’t feed me that “oh he had a sad life” shut the fuck up literally everyone in p5 had a sob story and you don't see them killing people. he’s complex, not likeable. 

but here’s the good part: the game doesn't want you to like akechi. i mean it. they never said what he did was okay (never. they never said it was okay), they never said that you had to like him. all they said was that you had to work with him. even in the third semester, the one people are so insistent on calling a redemption arc, isn’t a fucking redemption arc. they just want you to see who akechi really is!! without the facade!!! all they want is for you to see how complex he is, see him spiral and angry and bitter and they want you to see him turn out the complete opposite of akira. 

and here’s where we actually start talking about akeshu

akechi and akira are two halves of the same coin. akira chose the side of justice (by ironically being a criminal) while akechi chose the side of vengeance (which is ironic, since he’s a detective.) see, even with that whole crime vs justice thing, they’re connected. the person who ruined their life is the same person (shido), they both have had hard lives. but they turned out as opposites, with akira having a much better life than akechi--which is why akechi is so obsessed with akira. what does akira have that he doesn't? why did he turn out happy when he’s still miserable? and that creates a tension (which we will talk about later)

akechi and akira are rivals. they are connected, they always will be. it’s a hero/villain narrative that we all love, it’s an interesting character dynamic. it’s fun to see them interact. 

but by god, it does not mean that akechi and akira are good for each other. i would go as far to say it would do akechi a huge disservice as a character if you made them end up together. 

remember how akechi is a complex character? if akechi ends up with akira, you would essentially be ripping out all of his complexity just to have both of them date. akechi doesn't want to be with akira, and if you honestly think akechi is in love with akira id be surprised because he’s not--he’s obsessed with akira, infatuated with him. what he’s feeling isn’t love, it’s the feeling of frustration. he doesn't care about akira, or anyone. he cares about himself, and that’s it. which is what makes him so interesting because this never changes throughout the entire game!!! that's so FUN!!!

and the game never wants you to forget that complexity!! because they never gave akechi a redemption arc!! they want you to remember him as someone who’s willing to die for himself. (and, in a way, that’s the extent of akechis mercy. because before shidos palace, he wasn't even willing to die for himself, you know what i mean? he was willing to die in shidos palace because that’s what he wanted, he wanted to defeat shidos cognition of himself, he wanted to save the thieves because they were the first to listen to him and understand him, but he didn't really do it out of empathy. he did it because he’d rather die than continue living shidos lie--funny because that how he ‘dies’ in the third semester. nice one atlus)

and i get it. the game gives them such an undeniable tension that its super easy to see it as love, but its not. it’s not love, guys. that tension isn’t love, because what it’s actually tragedy. it’s tragic that akechi can’t have happiness (in canon, at least.) it’s tragic that akira, the person who loves his friends more than anything, who would die saving someone he doesn't even know, it’s tragic that he can’t save someone who’s the most desperate to be saved. and that is why i love platonic/non-romantic akeshu, because i think that concept is way more interesting than them falling in love. it’s about akira’s obvious trauma that he couldn’t save everyone, it’s about akechi’s hard-headedness about not wanting to be saved because he’s been let down too many times for him to ever put trust into anyone again. 

it’s tragic. it’s meant to be tragic. persona 5 is a game about fighting for reality, and reality is fucking hard. so the fact that these two people have such a tragic ending despite what we, as an audience, are used to (happy endings), is part of the game. they’re not meant for each other. they won’t work, they don't work. that tension isn't made out of love or sexual tension--it’s stemmed from tragedy and hate and confusion and such a deep rooted sadness from inside of them. 

they both deserve better than each other. akira deserves to be with the friends he made in tokyo, and akechi deserves to be with someone (if he lives) who isn’t associated with the metaverse at all. he deserves a clean slate, he deserves a fresh start. he deserves a reset. 

and another reason is that akira loves his friends too much. he would do anything for them. it’s supposed to be funny--the wildcard, with no vulnerability, no weakness, has the most weakness out of all of them because he cares too deeply about his friends that if one single thing were to hurt them akira would fold like a deck of cards. you think akira would do that to haru? to futaba? yeah, right. he would never. akira can forgive but he would never forget. he’d never compromise. not for his friends.

so going back to the topic of enemies to lovers--akeshu is not enemies to lovers, because there are certain rules for enemies to lovers. enemies should be fun. it should be people on the opposite team with different perspectives. enemies should not be morally horrific. the ‘enemy’ should be forgivable. both characters should still come off likable. they should both be able to stand up on their own legs as characters even if you take away their love interest. for example, hermione/draco wouldn't work because draco calls Hermione a slur on many occasions. that is not forgivable. if draco instead, i don't know, cheats off her test or something and she gets mad and they have a back and forth thing, then sure, hermione/draco could work. 

a fantastic enemies to lovers would be snowbaz from carry on. uh, zootopia? thats a great one. natsume and mikan from gakuen alice is good too!! basically, there’s a lot of actual good enemies to lovers out there. enemies to lovers shouldn't be morally ambiguous. it should be fun. it should be the right kind of tension. the characters should be likable from both sides. and akeshu does not have that. 

tldr stan akiryu and akesumi instead 

[tragicallywicked]

JALICE SECRET SANTA 2020 ↳ the holiday, a jess & alice christmas story part (1/2) gift to @goldeneyedgirl | @lexiewrites

Almost everything ever written about love is true. Shakespeare said, “Journeys end when lovers meet.” What an extraordinary thought. It was Shakespeare who also said, “Love is blind”. For some, quite inexplicably… love fades. For others, love is simply lost. But then, of course, love can also be found even if just for the night—or a lifetime. @jalicenetwork Be careful clicking read more this is 18k long and NSFW.

READ IT ON AO3

Merry Christmas, Lexie! I hope you enjoy this long ass fic which I spent the whole month teasing you about it without saying it was for you just to check if I would not make a whole MESS of your gift! I hope you enjoy this little Jess/Alice holiday love and that you're having a wonderful holiday season yourself! Happy Holidays! ♡

THE HOLIDAY

——

Almost everything ever written about love is true. Shakespeare said, “Journeys end when lovers meet.” What an extraordinary thought. It was Shakespeare who also said, “Love is blind”. For some, quite inexplicably… love fades. For others, love is simply lost. But then, of course, love can also be found even if just for the night.

——

“Will you tell me the truth?” When Alice asked, there was no flicker of emotion in her voice. Her eyes darted to the man with dark blond hair beside her as he stared out into traffic, avoiding her gaze. “James,” she tried again, “I want the truth.”

Practicality had always been a key asset to Alice Cullen’s life. At work, it aided her to always be on time and deliver what was required of her. In her personal life, it meant that she didn’t sugarcoat anything. Some called her harsh, or cold-hearted, but it was simply who she was—or had learned to be.

Her fiancé James was a stunning looking man. Tall, blond, slender. Truly attractive to the eye. And Alice had once been madly in love with him, as he had been for her. But that love wasn’t there anymore. The spark, their attraction, it was all gone. Alice had been so driven by him the first time around, so blinded to his flaws—that were now what surfaced to tear them apart.

James had been having an affair. He never really confessed to it but Alice had been picking up on the signs for a while now. The red blur she found on his collar once, the late work hours, the grins and giggles when he was texting someone, their distance in bed both physically and emotionally… They never had sex anymore, not like before. When it happened it was mechanical, more as a necessity to get off—which Alice never really did—than anything else. 

If she was to be honest with herself, Alice never looked at James and said to herself that he was the man of her life. She always found such notions to be childish, whimsical. He would be a nice man to settle with, to share a comfortable life—after all they also worked in the same area. But he was not a charming prince coming to her rescue and she was no damsel in distress. Alice was a practical woman. And right now, as she tried to make him confess, that showed through.

What unfolded the misery of their night had been a phone call. They were all to have dinner in Downtown Los Angeles when James stepped out to the bathroom and left his phone behind. The name Victoria read on the screen along with the picture of his red-wild-haired secretary. Alice knew Victoria, they had met plenty of times, so what harm could it have been to pick up the call and let her know that James had just stepped out?

“Are you coming to see me later? I miss you, James,” it was the first words she said, even before Alice could say hello. She stood there, struck by the realization that her fears were, in fact, concrete. She couldn’t move, or cry—Alice never really cried—, she just stood there in silence.

They had dinner as if nothing had happened. To James, in fact, it hadn’t. Alice had hung up the call and pretended she hadn’t heard a thing. His chatting over the three course meal was like a background noise. All she could really think about was just how stupid she had been about this whole relationship. How many times she had turned the eye on the evidence right in her face.

Alice couldn’t go any longer that way, but she still waited for them to get in the car.

“Victoria called,” she told him. “She asked if you’ll be seeing her later. She also said that she misses you.” The diminishing tone in her voice took James by surprise but he was really taken aback by her coldness. Alice had never denied she was a distant woman, not true to her emotions for the most part, and although James knew that it still shocked him that she wasn’t crying or screaming. She was barely moving, even.

“I—” he tried to say, but no words really formed. Instead he stared ahead for a long time.

Alice couldn’t tell if he was avoiding the whole thing or if she had simply gone mad. She decided it was the first option so her words demanded the truth.

Nothing came. Just more silence.

It was painful to realize what silence meant, but she still didn’t cry. She was relieved even. Alice worried that if James had tried to lie, or even just apologize, she would have caved. Because Alice knew she would. Not because she loved James, but for her own fear of being alone.

“Did you sleep with her?” Alice tried one more time.

“She wasn’t important.”

So he had.

“Was she better than me?”

“Why does that matter?”

“Answer it, James,” she complained.

“She’s different,” he confessed.

Alice let that sink into her stomach as it twisted inside her. She mouthed something but no words came out and James stared at her for a moment.

“I don’t understand you,” he grunted under his breath. That made her eye him, vile.

“You don’t understand me?” Alice groaned angrily, looking ahead as they moved in traffic.

“I really don’t,” he rampaged on all that had been stuck inside then, unable to hold back, “you have no emotions, like ever. You’re here finding out that I cheated on you and you won’t scream or cry.”

“Oh, so you want me to be suffering for your mistakes now?” Alice mocked, rolling her eyes angrily.

“That’s not what I’m saying, but you could shed a tear or two. You know what it’s like to sleep next to you? Or worse, to sleep with you?” His words were piercing to the point Alice herself questioned how she was not more upset with him.

“Do enlighten me, James.”

“It’s like sleeping with a corpse.” He spit the words out and they actually made Alice gasp.

“Stop the car.”

“What?”

“Stop the fucking car, James.”

“We’re in the middle of the freeway.” He looked back at her and the road, confused.

“Get off on the next exit. Now.”

As angry as she had become with that last drop, Alice couldn’t cry. She didn’t feel hurt, she felt breathless—but that wasn’t really an emotion. She wanted to scream but that wouldn’t be her wise and controlled self either. James had single handedly humiliated her and shred her to pieces, but Alice felt somehow she had been expecting exactly that from him.

When he took the exit and parked the car on the first possible street, Alice hopped off the car with her purse.

“Where are you going? Alice, be reasonable—”

“I’ll send your things through Emmett.” She slammed the door and marched to a nearby bar, not waiting to watch as he took off.

Alice didn’t stick around in the bar, instead she called an Uber and headed home. Even though they had separate places—something she was always particular about—she could bet that James had gone to Victoria’s house so there was no fear of running into him there.

She was—like Alice had been so used to—all alone.

The next morning the lingering tightness in her chest was still there when her assistant, Bella Swan, woke her up. Alice liked to be on time for things, her schedule was quite busy as a fashion editor, and she was on the verge of finishing up a project. The piece had been handed in and approved, she just needed to do the final tweaks on the design before she embarked onto the next project.

Alice had been awarded for her work, she was a name to be known in Los Angeles, and she knew this much had always intimidated men. In her relationship—or previous one—it was a toxic emotion that tore them apart from the inside out. James not only didn’t appreciate it, but he also never encouraged and went as far as telling Alice he didn’t see the appeal in what she had done.

It was one of the few fights they had, but it had been significant enough for Alice to consider that they wouldn’t work together. If last night was any proof that she had been right all along, Alice’s only regret was not trusting her gut before.

“Heard about you and James.” Bella handed her the coffee with a concerned look. Most of the time she was professional and kept those thoughts to herself, but she still cared about Alice, and she made a point to show it when necessary.

“He’s blabbling about it already?” Alice rolled her eyes, sipping on the mug as she sat by her table.

“He asked Emmett to get his things, Edythe and I were there,” Bella clarified. “We weren’t gossiping or anything.” Alice gave her a nod before putting the mug down, eyeing the computer screen for the designs.

“It’s fine really. He slept with Victoria,” Alice stressed the name because she remembered how Bella didn’t get along with the redhead, and she watched the brunette before her twitch.

“That bitch,” Bella grunted softly. “You know I never had anything against James, it’s Edythe that never liked him. But I could never stand Victoria.”

“Yeah well, turns out you were both right.” Alice sighed, distraught. She should have listened to both her sister and Bella.

Edythe Cullen was Alice’s older sister. They had the closest friendship growing up and often shared things in adult life, but Alice drew the line when it came to her relationships. Alice liked to keep things separate, she already thought it was complicated that her sister’s girlfriend was her employee. But Bella really made her life easier and neater, and didn’t go gossiping to Edythe when things happened, so Alice had nothing to complain about.

It was Emmett McCarty, their cousin, that had introduced Alice to James. The two were friends from college and he had thought they’d make a good match, given how practical and straightforward the used-to-be-couple was. He was wrong, but Alice gave him some credit for trying.

Before she went to bed she had called Emmett as well, she imagined after James already had. She understood now why he had sounded so sympathetic and not nearly as surprised as Alice had expected. She adored Emmett, growing up the giant boy was always the funniest to play with. Edythe was Emmett’s age but she was too closed up in her own little world while Emmett and Alice had been the playful ones. While Edythe had her head stuck inside a book, Alice and Emmett would be pranking people during Thanksgiving dinners.

She felt better after speaking to Emmett and he had actually got something stuck in her mind.

“You need a vacation, you know,” Emmett had told her over the phone. “When was the last time you had one?”

She couldn’t really remember it. “I don’t know, I don’t have time for that.”

“Well, make some, Al. You need a break… Time to heal you know?” His voice was always kind, caring.

“I wouldn’t even know where to go all alone.” But the idea had definitely stuck with her when she went to the empty bed. As alone as she was, it was a more pleasant feeling than the last months she forced herself to lay besides James. There was calm, and relief.

Bella brought over a bagel sandwich that was Alice’s favorite—everything bagel, cream cheese, Canadian bacon, avocado and tomatoes—and she only indulged on that calorie bomb when extremely needed. Alice was grateful that Bella had judged that as being a good time for such. A breakup was surely an excuse for someone to get some comfort food in.

“Thanks,” Alice muttered. Bella gave her a quick sympathetic nod and took a seat across from her on the table.

“When you finish I wanna go over next week’s schedule. There’s some meetings that I need to confirm,” she told Alice, adjusting the reading glasses on her face.

“Actually—” Alice paused, considering again the possibility Emmett had suggested the night before. “I want you to clear my schedule until New Years.”

“Oh.” Bella looked extremely surprised, not even making an effort to hide the jaw dropped gaze. “You never break for the holidays.”

“I know, but now I will.”

“All right.” Bella nodded quickly, making notes. “Should I set up anything with your family?”

Alice chuckled at that because her family also included Edythe and Bella’s in-laws, so she could imagine that there were plans on the making already. But she shook her head.

“I do want you to send them gift-cards, please. I’ll call mom later and let her know. But I’m going to travel,” Alice said, leaving Bella even more confused.

“W—Where?”

“I don’t know yet. I want to go somewhere new—and far.” Alice turned to her screen, opening a map of the globe on Google, and said, “Got any suggestions?”

“Maybe Europe? They have really nice hotels.”

“I don’t know if I want to go to one,” Alice twisted her face.

“I have these friends that did this house exchange thing,” Bella told her, making Alice frown. “It’s very safe, all go through the site. It’s like Airbnb, except you go to their house and they come to yours.”

“That’s brand new to me.” Alice frowned as she typed it in on the search bar, finding it surprisingly fast.

Bella knew her queue when Alice’s eyes were focused on the screen and she responded to her question with a simple nod, so she excused herself to go cancel the calendar for the next few weeks—two to be precise—as it would be a whole lot of work for her, too.

Alice browsed the pages until she landed on a small town, not too far from London, called Guildford. She had picked England for the language—she knew French and Italian as well, but heading to France by herself seemed too depressing, and stopping by Italy and not visiting her father’s Italian cousins would be considered extremely rude by them. She wasn’t even spending the holidays with her own family, she didn’t want to be dragged into the weird cousin’s lair.

Guildford seemed quiet and cozy enough and the cottage picture looked like the most welcoming place she had ever seen. It was not nearly as close to the mansion she lived in, but the white snow covering the garden and the rustic looks might be just the change Alice needed in her life.

The listing read beautifully too, like it had been written by an artist:

Christmas in the countryside. A fairy tale English cottage set in tranquil country garden. Snuggle up by the old brick fireplace and enjoy a glowing fire and a cup of cocoa. An enchanting oasis in a quiet English town forty minutes from exciting London.

Alice immediately clicked to chat with the owner. She had never done this, not even rented an Airbnb, let alone exchange houses with a stranger, so she wasn’t sure how to begin with it.

But Alice was practical so she imagined it had to come handy as she typed.

Alice: I’m interested in renting your house. Is it still available?

Alice: I’m wondering if your house is available this Christmas, because if it is, you could be a real lifesaver. I know it’s ridiculously late to be asking, but if you’re interested please contact me.

After a quick check on the time differences in both countries, she imagined the owner might be asleep, but to her surprise a message popped up.

Rosalie: I’m very interested, but the cottage is really only available for home exchange.

Rosalie: Where are you?

She quickly typed back.

Alice: Los Angeles.

Rosalie: I’ve never been, but always wanted to go. I’m Rose, by the way. I’m very laid back. Very neat, healthy,  a journalist, single.

Alice: I’m Alice. I work in fashion, very organized too. Pretty much a loner, loser and complicated wreck.

Rosalie: Hi.

Alice: Hey.

There was an endearing smile that settled across Alice’s lips. She didn’t know the stranger, but she felt comfortable talking to her. The feeling that maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all lingered, it felt promising and Alice could work with that.

They chatted about the space and the towns briefly, Rosalie asking her own questions about Alice’s place but surprisingly never asking to see it. Alice liked that, and gave her a feeling that Rosalie was this fierce and spirited woman, with a will for new adventures. She needed that sort of encouragement, to get her out of her comfort zone.

But one thing still lingered. Alice didn’t want to just go to another town to find herself involved with a foreigner just to forget her ex and make her life all the more complicated. So she questioned Rose if her town had any men. Surely there must be some, but Alice figured Rosalie would understand that, if she was asking, she was trying to mention the single and eligible men. If Rosalie told her there were plenty, Alice would have to dismiss the beautiful cottage and go venture new places—which would be a shame since she was truly liking the place and Rosalie.

The response made her beam.

Rosalie: Honestly? Zero.

Alice: When can I come?

The next day Alice was boarding first class to London. Bella had arranged her schedule, sent her family gift-cards in her name, as well as bought Alice some books to read on the flight—that she ditched for yet another fashion magazine. She had complained to Bella that she never read books anymore and it was kind of her assistant, and friend, to select three different titles for her to try—she was also thankful that none of them had been romances. The murder mystery title by some writer she hadn’t heard about sounded interesting, set near the nineteen-twenties—which Alice greatly liked the sense of fashion—and with some hints of supernatural in it. Alice didn’t get it right away, but she told herself to read that one first, when she made it to the cottage.

She wasn’t planning to hang out at bars or any of the sort, she wanted to give herself time to be on her own. To read a good book by the fireplace, to soak up on a bath, and to take a stroll with the dog Rosalie had mentioned that she had—even though she said Alice didn’t have to worry about the pup because her sister could swing by to take the pet off her hands, she had told Rosalie it would be no trouble to look after it pup, if anything it made for good distraction.

It wasn’t a big and elaborate vacation plan, but it was a plan and she wanted to roll with that. Alice was dying to just relax for a while. She figured if she isolated herself enough to deal with her own internal issues, that lump in her throat and the tightness on her chest that had been driving her nuts would fade, that the claustrophobic loneliness would go away.

——

London was glacial for someone like Alice, who had just flown from the so warm Southern California weather. She definitely hadn’t packed for that—Alice didn’t even think she had clothes at home for that kind of weather. She didn’t travel much outside the States, if she was being honest. Alice had been to the Caribbean a few times but never to Europe, let alone Europe during the winter. But upon her arrival, when she texted Rosalie about a good place to find stores in London, Rosalie had so kindly said Alice could borrow her coats if she needed to.

The two women had been exchanging messages all along and Alice was confident this vacation was something she would like to repeat eventually—perhaps not during the winter. But Rosalie had proven to be the nicest host and they even chit-chatted about cool things Alice could do around London.

She was exhausted and jet-lagged when she arrived though, so Alice took up Rosalie's offer to borrow the coats and headed straight to the cozy cottage awaiting for her.

The place was lovely really and Rose had left a welcome basket for Alice on the dinner table—which made her feel bad for not having left one for her new penpal. It wasn’t too big, the fireplace right next to two comfortable couches and the kitchen right across from the living area. Between the two, a small flight of stairs led to the top floor where a bedroom and an office shared space, two doors led to a small closet and a bathroom. It was like a tiny dollhouse, that Alice seemed to fit right in with her short stature and delicate features.

It was a habit that she had to unpack and organize everything and once that was done, she crashed on the bed, unable to hold back until later in the night. She could catch up with the timezone another time, she figured, since she was on vacation anyway.

At nine o’clock at night she was up and on full alert so she drove to the nearest shop, got herself some groceries, liquor and anything she could snack on during the night; she knew it would be a sleepless one.

She took a bath, drank wine, and even cooked—something she hadn’t done for herself in ages—at the end of the night. It was around one in the morning when she cozied up again on the bed, bored to death. It was like the book was flashing her a sign and Alice hopped to grab the murder mystery on her purse, settling back to read it. Alice couldn’t remember the last time she laid down before bedtime and just read a book, snuggled under the covers, with a cup of tea on the nightstand. For a brief moment, all felt heavenly.

Alice didn’t really recall exactly when she managed to fall asleep, especially how interesting the book was getting around the end of chapter two, but she had at last managed to shut her eyes and actually rest—the book and tea having done a miracle to the woman, she was really beginning to understand the appeal that the British had over tea, it could really relax somebody. The cover set Rosalie had put out for her was also very good, it was like lying down on a cloud. Nothing could disturb her. That was until she heard the loud banging on the door.

Startled, Alice jumped out of bed, the dog running downstairs immediately too, barking at the noise. She quickly grabbed her robe and wrapped it around herself, nearly flying over the stairs when she missed one step.

“Rose! Open up! I need to use the loo,” the female voice called from outside, making Alice turn on the lights to the living room.

She stood by the stairs though, shouting, “Who is this?”

“Bloody hell, I’m freezing out here, Rosalie Hale. Open the door before I pee myself and freeze to death,” the woman shouted back with nervousness in her tone. “I’m going to tell ‘ma about this, Rose!”

Alice realized then, with those words, that the woman could only be Rosalie’s sister, so she rushed to the door and unlocked it. She was met by a towering blonde with a puzzled gaze.

“You’re not Rose,” she told Alice, in sheer confusion.

“No, I’m a friend of hers. We’re doing this house exchange thing. Did she not tell you?” If they were sisters, wouldn’t that be something one would tell their sibling? “Who are you?”

“Oh, bullocks! That must have been what she was calling me about yesterday,” the blond lamented and then her face twisted. “Listen, I know it is very strange, but could I use the loo?”

“Yeah, yeah, sure.” Alice nodded quickly, opening up the door and getting out of the blond’s way. She rushed inside straight to the bathroom and Alice closed the door still in complete confusion.

She went on to sit on the couch and was joined by the pup that hopped on her lap. Alice petted him gently, waiting for the sister to return. She had suspected that the woman was drunk, given the hour and the bathroom urgency, but the last thing Alice had in mind was to take care of someone’s intoxicated sister on her getaway holiday.

When the blond stumbled back into the room, Alice chuckled though, watching as her suspicions confirmed themselves. She cursed under her breath, looking back at the floor as if it had any fault on the fact that she was under the influence of alcohol and tripping on herself.

“Listen, I’m so sorry, I had no idea Rose wouldn’t be here,” she told her, coming to throw herself comfortably on the other couch. Alice sat up straight, stiff on her seat, she didn’t want the woman to get comfortable there. “I’m Jessamine, Rose’s sister. We’re twins.” She chuckled, sighing a little. “Not identical, though.”

Alice hadn’t actually seen Rosalie’s face, as they hadn’t crossed paths on the exchange, so she wouldn’t be able to tell. Instead, she just nodded.

“So, house exchange you said?” Jessamine wondered and Alice just agreed quietly again. “Where is she, anyways?”

“You should really pick up your sister’s calls,” Alice pointed out and the blond chuckled in agreement. “But she’s in my house in Los Angeles.”

“How long is she going to be there?” Jessamine seemed genuinely surprised now.

“Two weeks.”

“And you here?”

Alice nodded again.

“That’s wild!”

Even with the jet lag and the time it was likely too early in Los Angeles, Alice was feeling the wine she had before—along with the sleeping pill—began to sink in more. She was also exhausted with the flight so the last thing she wanted was to be chit-chatting with the stranger.

“Jessamine you said, right?”

“Yeah, but call me Jess, please,” she smiled sideways and for a brief second Alice was slightly taken—she had a very remarkable smile, quite charming.

“Jess,” she gave the blond a smile back, emphasizing the nickname kindly. “I actually just flew in today and I’m very tired.”

Realizing her words, Jessamine was quick to get on her feet.

“Oh, I’m so sorry. I’m here talking my heart out, I didn’t mean to bug you. It must have been a very long flight, indeed.” She was quick and apologetical, looking around for her coat that she had discarded along the way in, as she had headed to the bathroom before.

Alice almost felt bad, hearing her tone and how lost she felt. She certainly looked very tipsy.

“You are not driving, are you?”

“No, no,” Jess said quickly, cheering when she found her jacket. “Normally I crash at Rose’s on days like this so I don’t actually have my car. But I’ll just get an Uber!”

“Oh, nonsense.” Alice shook her head. “You can crash on the couch!”

“I do not want to bother you—Oh, how rude of me, I didn’t even ask your name.” Jessamine finally stopped the excited rampage she had been on since barging in and smiled with defeat.

“Alice. I’m Alice Cullen,” she chuckled—in fact very amused with the energy of the blond—and extended her hand.

“Nice to meet you, Alice,” Jess took her hand, and Alice was surprised by the electricity of the touch. “Jessamine Hale. Just Jess will be fine though.”

“Yeah, you said it,” Alice said with amusement, grinning because Jess was clearly drunk. Was this what, the third introduction?

For what seemed like a long moment, their hands lingered there, connected in the air. Alice only noticed just how much taller Jess was—not that it was too difficult considering just how short Alice was. She hadn’t met such a striking woman before. Her eyes were deep green and her cheek had a slight dimple that seemed to go along so well with her squared jaw and thin lips.The blond messy curls falling to her shoulders making her look like a lioness.

Alice was the first to pull back her hand, feeling her cheeks burn when she realized that she had been staring at the other woman for far too long—longer than what was socially acceptable, or comfortable. Jessamine didn’t seem to mind though, as the smile continued settled across her lips.

“Are you sure I won’t bother you?” she asked Alice then, who shook her head vehemently.

“Just point me to the directions of the extra bedding,” Alice assured her.

“Oh, don’t worry, I can get around with that. Rose normally just lets me in and hops back in bed.” she laughed, walking past Alice to a wardrobe by the staircase, grabbing a set of sheets, blanket and pillow that was perfectly tucked away for her. “I promise I’ll be out before you even notice.”

Alice doubted it, she would rather wake sooner than later.

“You don’t have to rush out, really. Don’t worry,” Alice assured her, making her way to the stairs.

“He really likes you, huh,” Jess pointed out when she saw Rose’s dog following after Alice.

“Normally that’s not the case?”

“Definitely not, this little feral beast is quite difficult. I had had a hard time with him when Rosalie first rescued the pet a few years ago.”

“I guess I’m lucky then!” Alice grinned, heading back to the bedroom.

“Thank you, Alice,” Jess said and saw the brunette stop on her path to look back and nod.

For a short second they exchanged a gaze and both shared a smile.

“Night, Jess.”

“Goodnight, Alice,” Jess said watching as Alice turned off the lights and disappeared to the second floor.

Alice accommodated back on the bed, bringing the pup up there with her, and stared at the ceiling for what felt like the longest time. Alice figured that her sleep might be gone, but there was no strength in her to actually get herself up to read or do something, she felt exhausted.

When she closed her eyes, trying to force herself to sleep, the blond’s smile uninvitedly invaded her mind.

——

It was way past ten in the morning when Alice finally woke up, surprising even herself with the hour. Normally, she’d be up and ready to work out at about eight thirty in the morning, with a coffee mug in hand and ready to work. Alice loved to work. Fashion had been a strong part of her life thanks to her mother, Esme.

While Edythe had her own classic style, that didn’t diverge much from monochromatic sets of jeans and tees, Alice always went all out with her wardrobe. It had changed along the years, progressing from princess dresses when she was a kid to a bit of grunge when she was a teenager until she settled into a minimalist boho with a lot of impact—which meant she dressed some pretty expensive brands, although not specifically designer, with simple pieces and bold accessories.

Building a statement more than a style itself was what fashion was really about and Alice had made that name for herself for those assertive choices she made when she dressed. It was the kind of attention that she liked to draw. Studying trends was the reason she was so excited to ser foot in Europe for the first time.

Even though her father had family in Italy and she was deeply engaged in an international industry, Alice always stayed around New York and Miami fashion week—aside from Los Angeles, of course. A small city near London may not seem like the perfect source of inspiration to all people, but Alice thought it might just be the change she needed in her life to make something brand new and different.

Of course, there was a part of Alice that kept reminding her that she was there to relax and not work—and that part had Bella’s voice, since her assistant had repeatedly reminded Alice about actually taking a vacation and relaxing on the ride to the airport.

Climbing down to the bottom floor, still in her pajamas, Alice was surprised to find the sheets and blankets all neatly folded on top of the couch and Jess by the stove pouring herself a cup of tea. She stepped into the kitchen to join the other woman.

“Hi,” Alice announced her presence, a shy smile set across her lips.

Jessamine turned on her heels, a slight surprise in her eyes.

“Good morning,” she said as she sipped on her tea. “I didn’t expect you to be up so early.”

“I could say the same,” Alice commented with a grin, as she got past the blonde to try and work the coffee machine on the counter.

“About that, I must apologize! I was not my best self last night. Completely uncalled for to barge into here like this,” Jess told Alice with the most apologetic smile. When she gazed over to her, Alice noticed how much more sober she seemed now. There was a contained aura in her that she hadn’t noticed the night before with all the tripping and smirking.

“Ah, that’s all right. You didn’t know Rose wouldn’t be here.” Alice seemed to be having a hard time figuring out the coffee maker, pushing buttons that wouldn’t work. Maybe it didn’t, she thought to herself, maybe all the British did was drink tea and the coffee makers were just for looks.

She didn’t notice when Jessamine stepped closer, silently, hovering over Alice to reach out for something. She was at a loss for words when she turned to gaze at the blonde that was right there, in front of  her.

Jess was much taller than her, Alice had noticed that the night before, but now, with her standing so close, it felt impressively more. Her eyes darted up to find Jessamine’s green orbs smirking down at her, as if they were reading something in Alice’s soul that she did not know.

When Jess simply connected the plug to the wall, Alice felt awfully foolish and flustered. Both for thinking Jessamine was stripping the depths of her soul, for some reason, and because she hadn’t thought to plug in the device.

“Normally they require power to work.” Jess teased, walking away to resume drinking her tea.

Alice let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding, nodding quickly as an attempt to make the blush go away. She looked around for mugs, opening and closing cabinets, and again Jess surprised her by emerging close to her with a cup in hand.

She moved so damn quietly, like a lioness—with the mass of beautiful, curly, blonde hair. Alice had no clue what had gotten into her, but something about the other woman’s energy made her jumpy, bringing a torturous turning to her stomach.

“Thanks,” Alice managed to murmur, letting out another captive breath.

“Mhmhm,” Jess nodded, at last sitting at the dinner table.

It was better that way, knowing where the blonde was standing so she wouldn’t go on surprising Alice with her presence, and lack of respect for others’s personal spaces. With all the cliches about British people, she had guessed they would be all distant and cold, without the fervor one would find in Southern California or other warm central-American countries. But Jess was surprisingly different.

Not only the way she had managed to barge into Alice’s bubble, but how her gaze was so deep—even the night before when she had been drunk.

“So how long are you staying, Alice?” She broke the silence, making Alice gaze her over the shoulder. She knew Jess had been watching her, even with her back turned Alice had felt the eyes observing her movements so closely.

“Two weeks,” Alice told her, even after being under the impression they had gone over that the night before.

“Right! You mentioned she’s spending Christmas there.” Jessamine looked distant for a second, as if her mind had wandered into something important, and Alice was able to catch it when she turned around at last with a coffee in her hands.

“Does she often travel during the Holidays?”

Jess shook her head and Alice wondered if what she saw was worry in her eyes.

“I should probably give her a call later,” Jess concluded quietly.

“You said you two are twins?”

Jess nodded and the frown was replaced by a smile.

“She’s the pretty one,” Jess chuckled. It made Alice wonder what Rosalie looked like because Jessamine was a breathtaking woman already—such a different beauty but all the more striking.

“What does that make you then?” Alice wondered with amusement.

“The brains of the family. Truly, I am the smartest one.” They both laughed at that.

A buzzing on the counter interrupted the moment and Alice was quick to pick up look at the screen where the name Charlotte was written. She realized then how that was not her phone because she didn’t know any Charlotte.

“Oh, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to look.” Alice handed her the phone as quickly as she had taken it.

Jessamine eyed the phone and smiled awkwardly, which immediately made Alice all the more worried how she had invaded the other woman’s privacy like that.

“It’s all right,” Jess nodded. “I’m going to take this one outside.” Clearing her throat, the blonde didn’t wait for a response or avail, going out to pick up the call.

Alice shook off the strange feeling she got, that tightness back on her chest. For a moment she just observed Jessamine from the window, giggling at something over the phone. It was like yet another whole different woman. The night before she had been tipsy and chatty, now she was this contained tall beauty and, outside on the phone, with whoever that was, Jessamine looked her most beautiful—smiling in such clear and sheer happiness.

Forcing herself to look away from the private moment, Alice heated up some toast and buttered it to go along with the simple breakfast. She was never a breakfast kind of person simply because she had no will to cook—and no time for it. Sure, now on a vacation Alice supposed she could do so, but her culinary skills were very limited. She was relying heavily on the nearby places to eat for the next few days.

Jessamine returned tapping her foot on the welcome mat, removing the excess of snow on her boots.

“Listen, I must head out, duty calls.” She made a pause on collecting her jacket to look up at Alice. “But thank you so much for last night. I bloody need to get my act straight and pick up Rose’s calls.”

“You do.” Alice could laugh at that, eyeing over the coffee mug she was sipping on. “And it was no problem really. I wouldn’t have let you drive, you seemed pretty tipsy.”

“Again, I am truly sorry you had to see that.” Her grin was genuine, even when contained. “It was nice meeting you Alice.”

There was a little shiver that ran down Alice’s spine when she heard her name said so politely, Jessamine’s voice had this deep and melodic tune that she hadn’t really noticed the night before, likely for how sleepy she was.

“Nice meeting you too, Jess,” Alice nodded and leaned against the kitchen counter. She watched as Jess reached for the door knob and then hesitated.

“I’m going to be down the street at the pub tonight, with some friends, you should come by if you’re not too busy.”

During the time they exchanged a gaze, right after the invitation, Alice surprised and Jessamine simply smiling enchantedly, something seemed to have struck the brunette. She remembered a few years ago when Edythe had invited her then college friend Bella Swan out on a date. Alice had known her entire life her sister’s preferences, even before it was revealed and welcomed by their family, but she had never seen her in action until then, pursuing someone.

There had been a spark in Edythe’s gaze that Alice hadn’t seen before. She knew for a fact that her sister had been interested in Bella, but that moment was just different than the flirting she did before. And maybe this was a mistaken sensation, she could be wildly wrong, but Alice saw that same drive in Jessamine.

Her words just sounded so charming somehow, more alluring.

But perhaps she was overthinking it. She hadn’t the faintest clue if Jessamine was, in fact, into women, and she wasn’t about to make an embarrassment of herself and ask that.

Instead, Alice nodded. “I’d love to.”

She could have said, sure or of course, but she chose to unintentionally lead her on by saying she would love to. Was she flirting with this woman now? What had come over her?

When Edythe officially came out to their family, their parents had accepted it fully, as if it was always something they knew. They weren’t just supportive, they truly embraced the cause. One too many times Alice had laughed at an embarrassed Edythe over their parent’s joining in on Pride parades—not because she didn’t want them too, Edythe always did smile endearingly at that, it was simply because she always felt more embarrassed by the fervor that Esme and Carlisle adored their family.

They had asked Alice, a while after Edythe came out, if she felt the same way as her older sister did. Alice wasn’t much younger, but she was still in her pre-teens and when she remembered the occasion quite clearly. “I don’t know,” Alice had told them back then. It was something she never gave too much thought. She dated a boy during high school and a couple guys in college, and then James for the past three years.

She never really thought of dating a woman because the opportunity never presented itself. It wasn’t like there was a line of them flirting with her—like they did to Edythe—so Alice just didn’t even consider it a possibility for herself.

Sure, she would look at a woman sometimes and find her stunning—like she had thought of Jessamine—but everyone did, at least everyone she knew had no problem acknowledging others were attractive.

“Wonderful!” Jessamine’s delightful cheer broke Alice’s internal thought and the brunette nodded, as if she had been asked something. “I’ll see you later, Alice.”

“See you, Jess.”

Left alone in the cottage, Alice told herself she was simply overthinking this. She had no idea if Jess was hiting on her and it was ludicrous to even consider that when the two had spoken so briefly in such odd moments. Alice preferred to admit to herself a more plausible idea that Jess actually felt bad for her being alone there and she wanted to be welcoming.

During the rest of the day Alice tried to push the thoughts out of her mind, busying with being a typical tourist instead. She drove to London, visited the Big Ben along with a few sightseeing locations. London was huge and there was much to see still, but she managed to spend a nice afternoon that ended with shopping.

Alice was fascinated with the stores and the different fashion trends all other the big city, so different from the little she had glimpsed from Guildford where she had been staying. At some point between hopping between thrift stores and designer ones, Alice bought an outfit to wear that night.

It was just a bar and she figured there was nothing to it, but Alice didn’t want to just stroll there in jeans, old long sleeves she had brought, winter boots and Rosalie’s jackets—as much as she had appreciated them before, they simply didn’t fit Alice’s style and she also didn’t want to abuse her host’s hospitality. Instead she bought stockings, with the thickest and coziest fabric she’d even seen stockings be made, a dark wine dress, the trendiest trench coat she could find and heeled ankle boots—which she wasn’t sure was the best idea considering how wet the city seemed to be. The forecast was also predicting snow for that night, so Alice hoped she could manage the heels.

Normally wouldn’t be a problem, she was always in heels; being a 4’10 woman didn’t strike such an imposing look. But the snow did complicate things. Jessamine was also one of the tallest people Alice had ever met, Alice was guessing somewhere around 6 feet, so she didn’t want to just be walking next to the giant beauty looking like the shortest person in the room.

When she did walk into the pub later that evening, Alice felt confident and recharged by the big city atmosphere. Jessamine was nowhere to be found, Alice would have spotted the mass of hair from a mile away, so she took a seat at a high table. Ordering a wine and sitting back on the high stool, Alice’s eyes darted anxiously around the room, hoping that she would have missed the blonde. But she really wasn’t there.

They hadn’t exchanged numbers so Alice considered Jess might have changed plans, perhaps gotten better ones. It would be strange being stood up by a stranger on a non-date. But she wasn’t.

Jessamine walked into the pub by herself, removing her jacket to reveal a very simple combination—that made Alice immediately feel overdressed—of jeans, a [British band] tee and scarf. Alice immediately wondered how it was possible for a person to wear a t-shirt in that type of weather. She, personally, had been slightly shivery with the long sleeved dress and wool tights combo. Sure, Jess had a heavy coat over the tee, but it was still not that many layers—she imagined one would get used to living in such harsh weather.

As simple as she was, Jess still looked absolutely breathtaking. It was like there was this quality to her presence and her looks that made her a walking magnet for Alice’s attention.

When Jess finally spotted her and their gazes crossed, Alice shyly waved with a fluttering heart at the blonde’s smile and approach. She walked straight up to Alice, not thinking twice when she leaned over and pressed cheek against Alice’s in a social but very personal manner. It took the brunette by complete surprise, again with the invasion of privacy. What was with this woman and getting so close to Alice?

She couldn’t really say that she disliked it, as a matter of fact it made her pulse rush straight to her cheeks—especially the one she had so casually pressed her chilly skin again. Jessamine’s touch might have been absurdly cold, but it lit a fire in Alice—one she wasn’t quite sure how to deal with yet.

“You came.” Jess broke the silence in a cheery tone, taking the stool next to Alice and waving at the waitress.

“Were you expecting me not to?” Alice rose a brow at Jessamine, quizzically.

“I was hoping you would come, actually.” Her voice came out far too casual and confident at the same time, and Alice was reminded of her earlier gut feeling about the woman. “But I wasn’t quite sure you would.”

��Well, it would be rude not to after I said I would.” Alice shrugged and then, in a quick pause, she realized it might have come out rude by itself. “Not that I didn’t want to—I wanted to come!”

Jessamine laughed gently, nodding at Alice.

“I’m glad. That’s why you’re traveling, right? See new places, meet new people, forget someone.”

That last part got Alice quickly alert. “Did Rose say something?”

Again, Jessamine’s delightful grin caught her off guard. “No, not really. But now I’m guessing I got it right.”

“Well, not to forget anyone, he wasn’t really that important,” Alice explained, feeling a little awkward to be talking about her ex with someone she did not know. “I just wanted some change, I guess.”

“Change is good.” Jess smiled, eyeing what Alice was drinking. “And we should begin with what you’re drinking.”

“What’s wrong with wine?” Alice wondered puzzled.

“For one, it’s white.” Jess gave a look around for the waiter that hadn’t stopped by to get her order. “Secondly, this is a pub. Do you prefer a mixed drink or beer?”

“Which one is the best, in your opinion?”

“Beer, for sure.” Jess chuckled. Alice was even more sure now that Jessamine might be a lesbian. She was definitely fitting the stereotype. But the thought of it made Alice curse herself for immediately jumping to conclusions. It was especially inconsiderate of her considering her own sister did not really fit any of the stereotypes—except the Tumblr lesbian, perhaps, engaged in aesthetics, books and introspective posting.

“I’ll have what you’re having, then.”

“Don’t go anywhere,” Jess told her, reaching out to touch Alice’s arm.

It was such a simple gesture, but it electrified Alice. She had no idea what had gotten over her around Jess. It was as if she was a whole new person, lost inside those deep green eyes.

She tried to shake those thoughts away, quickly checking her phone. It was bursting with notifications from people wondering just where Alice had gone. Aside from her family and Bella, she hadn’t told another soul about the trip. But like everything in Los Angeles, word got around quickly. 

Alice ignored all the demanding messages to open a chat with her sister.

Alice: How do you know a woman is gay?

It didn’t take the other too long to respond, which Alice was grateful for.

Edythe: It’s usually pretty obvious to me

Edythe: … Why? Who is?

Alice: This girl I met here in England. I’m not sure she’s being friendly or hitting on me?

Edythe: I heard the British are not friendly.

Alice had to laugh, knowing it was such an American conception. She shook her head and typed back.

Alice: I guess I’ll find out.

Edythe: Lemme know when you do.

She had no time to respond as Jessamine returned to the table carrying two large beers and Alice pushed the phone into her purse, smiling at the blonde.

“The house brew,” Jess announced, handing her one of the glasses. “My friends are not here yet but we can get started. Cheers!”

Alice laughed, clicking their glasses together. “Cheers!”

Jess took a long gulp and Alice watched, trying to follow her rhythm by doing the same. Alice was lightweight, and short, so she realized quickly that even if she tried, she would not be able to keep with Jess.

“Whoa, how many ounces in this? It’s like, huge.”

Jess laughed. “Blimey, you Americans with your measurements. I have no clue in ounces, but it has a liter.”

“That’s a lot of beer, Jess.” Alice gasped but with amusement.

“Ah, that’s nothing. I drink at least two,” she told her casually, followed by a soft shrug. “It’s very chilly tonight, you’ll burn it real fast.”

“It is very cold! And you’re in a tee.” Alice pointed out, at last finding the gap to comment on the blonde’s choice in clothing.

“And you’re in a dress.” Jess accused playfully, sipping some more of the glass. “Very gorgeous, in fact.” Alice flustered, realizing how Jessamine had, in fact, noticed. “But us Brits, we’re just used to the weather. Not like you yankees.”

Alice laughed soundly and the bickering. She never had anything against the British—Alice actually found their accent extremely charming—but it was shockingly impressive how they liked to pick at the Americans.

“I’ll have you know we have pretty heavy weathers all over the country!” Alice had no idea why she was defending her country to the woman, but centuries of patriotism spoke louder for her.

“In Southern California? That’s not what I learned in geography.” Jess taunted.

“Well, not in SoCal—unless you drive up to the mountains, but even then is not guaranteed,” Alice explained, sipping on the beer.

“Have you ever seen snow before?”

“Actually, not really.” Alice bit her lip, watching the shock in Jessamine’s face.

“Bloody hell, that’s wild,” Jess chuckled, taking another gulp on the beer. “If we’re lucky, you may catch it tonight! And not just the half-ass melted puddles. There’s going to be a real fall tonight.”

Alice nodded, “Yeah, I read about it. I’m actually hoping to see it.”

“It’s not that fun living with snow up to your knees, but for a vacation I guess it should be a fun experience.” Jessamine smiled and went on, “I personally don’t know what’s like to not have a white Christmas.”

“California gets to sixty-five at this time of the year, tops.”

“There you go again with yankee measurements,” Jess teased, both of them laughing. “What’s that in Celsius?”

“Oh, I have no idea.” Alice chuckled.

Jessamine was already halfway through her beer when her phone buzzed. She read over a text as Alice’s eyes finally had a chance to look at the woman without being noticed. The light wasn’t any better than the night before with just a few bulbs lit up, but the advantage was way better than this morning where Jess was either too far or with her eyes on Alice. No, she decided this was a perfect setting to look at her.

Her leonine hair cascaded over her shoulders, beautiful golden curls molding her squared jaw and dimpled cheeks. Her nose was long and sharp, the lips thin lines constantly tilting up more to one side than the other in a very attractive side smirk dancing on her mouth. The eyes were the deepest green Alice had ever seen. And then there was her body. Jessamine was so ridiculously tall—or perhaps it was just Alice that was short—and not just any kind of tall. Her legs long, her figure slender. She didn’t have that many curves aside from a very pompous chest.

Alice couldn’t deny how extremely attractive she was, but there was also this energy coming from her. She guessed it had to be the niceness, the way her eyes smiled at her—a wild idea, but one that Alice definitely felt drawn to—it made her feel lost and confused.

It wasn’t a feeling that she was used to, being so unsure of her emotions. Alice had a grip of her own life, she could track down everything that happened with her, decipher and understand it. But with Jessamine she felt utterly out of control. It was frustrating. Was she only being friendly or is she actually flirting? Was Jessamine even into girls, or was Alice simply finding herself attracted to women? Or was she simply attracted to this woman?

Her heart nearly dropped when Jessamine suddenly gazed her with a smile like she knew what Alice was feeling. She couldn’t explain it, obviously it was impossible that Jess could know. Alice hadn’t voiced anything out loud, but something in the blonde’s grin made the brunette question whether or not she had said something without noticing. She hadn’t and yet Jess knew.

“Sorry about that,” Jessamine interrupted the turmoil inside Alice, putting her phone away. “Turns out my friends can’t make it.”

“Oh?” Alice felt the blush return to her cheeks with the realization that it would be just the two of them.

Jessamine seemed to notice that too, because she laughed with amusement. “Is that a problem, Alice?”

“No, not at all.” Alice shook her head so promptly, eyes wide with worry that she had offended Jessamine somehow. “I just—I’m worried I’ll bore you to death!”

The sound of her laugh, Alice decided perhaps way too fast, it was one of the most captivating sounds she had ever heard.

“I find that quite impossible.”

Alice hadn’t noticed when Jess’s glass was so close to end, but, as she watched her chug down the last sip, she as if she was falling behind and reached for her own glass to take a long swing of it.

“You don’t have to keep up, Alice, don’t worry,” Jess mused and Alice felt a challenge in her tone. “You seem quite the light weight.”

“I can handle my booze,” Alice retorted amusedly. Jessamine hadn’t really verbally challenged her, but the competitive spirit inside her told Alice to go for it, so she took a final gulp on the beer.

“I guess I’ll get us another then,” Jess said as she picked the beer mugs. “I must say, you are really surprising, Alice.”

She didn’t leave her any room to respond, walking away to the bar to refill them, those last words leaving a fuzzy feeling on the pitch of her stomach. Or was it just the beer? No, Alice decided it was definitely butterflies. She liked that Jessamine found her surprising. She wanted to be that—surprising, different, new. Alice was bored of her dull old self, her unhappy and pathetic self.

——

The snow began falling heavy sometime around one in the morning. By then Jessamine and Alice had had one too many drinks at the pub, but Jess had managed to get them out of there before it was complete chaos. They were walking back to the cottage where Alice had invited Jessamine to stay, on the couch—although she had not said to Jessamine that was where she would be staying, Alice was assuming the blonde knew. They had been chatty and at times even slightly flirty throughout the night, but she had chosen to read it as mere drunk banter.

Alice still had no clue of Jessamine’s preferences and she wasn’t about to bluntly ask it—or worse, make a move on her. There hadn’t been a moment Alice felt there was an opening for such talk. They had talked about life and work, but not romantic involvements. She actually had appreciated the light talk as it served to get her mind off all those wild thoughts roaming her mind.

She had found out that Jessamine worked as a book editor so most of her work was done from home. Alice had loved to picture Jess in a house with tall bookshelves, filled with titles, sitting by a couch while she read some new author’s manuscript. Alice adored that Jessamine was into books—even though Alice hadn’t been reading many in the past years—because she thought it fit her personality so well.

They chatted about the genres that were her favorites and Alice mentioned the murder mystery she had begun reading the night before, and that she would show it to her once they were back in the cottage.

At some point in the night Jess had managed to turn the conversation around and Alice told her about being a fashion designer in Los Angeles, and how her dream was to launch a collection of her own instead of just working for other people. Alice realized then how she had never shared that with anyone and Jess’s reception to it made her heart skip for a moment. It was silly, but Alice felt happy that the woman enjoyed the idea—and that she had complimented her style after that.

It was a night for many discoveries, as Alice couldn’t really recall the last night she had such a great talk with someone—even with James when they started dating, it was never like this—and to feel so connected about the little things.

When, halfway to the cottage, the snowflakes began falling over them, the night seemed like it couldn’t get any better.

“It’s snowing!” Alice beamed like a happy child, looking up to the night sky.

“Your first snow.” Jess grinned, her eyes falling on Alice instead, who was in sheer joy.

“It feels so soft,” she giggled. She was feeling more than tipsy but not drunk enough to feel sick, so it was a sublime bliss when the chilly drops fell over her cheeks. “Don’t you just love it?”

Alice’s eyes fell back on Jessamine and Jess was definitely staring at her, shamelessly now, her gaze so admiring and so soft at Alice. She was taken by the intensity that her look struck on her, it was amused but somehow serious, decisive. When Jess took a few steps forward, her hands reaching for Alice’s cheek, she felt her heart about to burst against her chest.

“You’ve got some on your lashes,” Jess whispered, her cold fingers brushing against Alice’s temple. Her touch was so soft that she almost closed her eyes to the sensation, but they were too alert on the blonde, gazing at her green orbs.

Jessamine didn’t flinch, her smile so large as Alice turned completely red, and she just brushed her fingertips over her cheeks. Such a small gesture and so potent, lighting up a fire inside Alice. She felt like she could remove her coat and it would still be too warm inside her, even after Jess broke away.

“C’mon, Alice, I’m freezing my arse off. Cottage is just up there,” Jess said playfully, looking utterly satisfied with Alice’s reaction.

She led the way, looking briefly over her shoulders to see if Alice would follow, which she did with some delay, skipping to keep up with the long legged beauty.

Back in the house, Jess went immediately to light up the fireplace while Alice seemed to be burning up inside. She stripped her coat and the high heel ankle boots, tossing both inside the closet by the entrance. Tiptoeing to the living room—grateful for the wool stockings to be warm against the cold floor—she found a spot on the largest couch to sink into. Jess turned around and they both smiled—the blonde at the sight and the brunette at her.

“Do you want tea?” Jess asked and Alice shook her head. She couldn’t voice what she really wanted, not when her coherent thoughts were blurred by alcohol. It would not be reasonable to say she had this unfounded want to kiss her, not when they had just met. But at least she was sober just enough to think that saying that would be a bad idea.

“If you want—”

“No, no, I’m fine,” Jess was quick to say and suddenly Alice spotted some nervousness. Maybe Jess wanted to sleep and Alice was taking up the couch.

“Do you want to sleep?” She got up too quickly and felt alcohol sinking in her system, her brain protesting the sudden movement.

“Alice, I’m all right.” Jess held her waist when Alice looked like she was about to fall, but it was the closeness that took her breath away.

Now without her heels, Alice was again way shorter than Jess and she had to look up to meet her gaze—not the best for either of their necks.

“Let’s sit,” Jess suggested and guided Alice back. She searched around for a blanket and when she joined Alice on the couch it was to cover them both. “How’s that?”

“Perfect,” Alice brought her legs up, cozying up under the covers. It wasn’t until Jessamine’s knee pressed against hers that she realized how close they sat. Her heart was racing again and she was beginning to feel like a silly teenager, tiptoeing around feelings.

“Tonight was fun,” Jess told her, bringing Alice back to now.

“It really was. I hadn’t laughed this much in forever.”

“That’s a shame.” Jess did the bold thing and reached to hold Alice’s hand. “You have a great laugh, you should always be laughing.”

It was the way she said it that made Alice realize how she really was attracted to this woman. And she suspected now, with them cuddled under the covers and holding hands, that the sentiment was mutual.

“So is yours, you know,” Alice told her quietly.

Silence settled in, their gaze focused on each other. Alice bit on her lower lip as she watched when the switch turned between them, Jessamine’s eyes falling on Alice’s lips before her gaze met hers again. They were sitting so close that it didn’t take much, all she had to do was bend over slightly and their lips met.

The small sigh escaping Alice’s lips was of sheer content, a sentiment of belonging she hadn’t felt before. Jessamine cradled her head dragging her in and Alice allowed it, willingly, as her tongue slid in to meet hers. It wasn’t hurried—but it was sure deep—Jess was tasting her like a sweet cherry, delighting in every inch of Alice’s mouth. She tasted delicious, so soft and sweet, Alice decided mentally. Jess was different from everything she had experienced, not because she was a woman but because of her giving and loving way. How she cared, it was obvious. Jess fingers gentle against her scalp, the knee that softly rubbed against Alice’s.

All made her feel bold, a hand sprawling against Jessamine’s thigh, feeling the cold jeans and the frustration that took over because she wanted skin instead. Alice had never been too touchy, or eager for contact, but the way Jessamine’s lips pressed down her jaw and her neck made her feel anxious with anticipation. They were gentle lips, brushing against her skin, but the teeth that nibbled her jugular were rougher, they lit up fires Alice didn’t know she had inside her.

Her hands perched inside Jess’s blonde curls, not tugging at them just yet, but dragging her back to her lips. This time it wasn’t soft or gentle, the intensity of it made Jess hover over Alice who laid back on the couch taking Jess on top of her, their fingertips creeping everywhere they could reach. Alice let her fingers under Jessamine’s shirt, feeling her sides, touching up her stomach.

Alice had never touched a woman that way, so lewd, and the welcoming silky skin pressed against her own was chilly. She had no time to doubt or question herself as Jessamine hooked her knee to raise one of her legs and hook it around her frame. Jess’s body pressing down against Alice, pushing her to the couch, granted her a sigh. It wasn’t so much that she enjoyed the pressure only, but the way that Jess’s hand dotted on her legs with caresses and grips.

Jessamine ran her hand further, under her dress, looking for the ends of the pantyhose so she could pull the wool out of their way. Alice wasn’t like Jess who had legs for days, so it wasn’t a hard array to get rid of them. She wasn’t prepared for the slow kisses the blonde traced up her leg, taking longer to press her lips on Alice’s thighs and take her breath away. They were hurried and anxious for more skin, more touch, but they were still taking their time to explore each other.

Lifting her dress, Jesse traced the kisses up her stomach only to realize the dress would present more complicated.

“Where’s the uh—?” She looked up and Alice nearly lost it, drawn by the lust in her gaze like it was a rope of emotion tying around her. Alice wanted to pull her up and devour her lips, but she half sat up instead, pulling the zipper down.

Jess assisted her, discarding the dress over her shoulders. Alice wasn’t wearing a bra—the velvety fabric too tight against her skin to have allowed her such—and Jess traced from her belly button to her breasts. They were nothing particular, not large and not too flat, but Jess’s attention and devotion were all toward them with gentle palms and bold thumbs brushing her nipples.

Alice sighed. She couldn’t remember the last time she had gotten such attention. Sex didn’t normally involve foreplay—it was one and done—and she enjoyed how Jess was worshiping  her body, replacing her fingers with her lips at some point. It made her lose her senses, her head tilting back as the groan got stuck in her throat—which Jess noticed, but didn’t comment. Instead she seemed more willing to help Alice just let go and give into pleasure, her teeth lightly nibbling her nipple.s 

Alice’s fingers tangled again on blonde locks, tugging them this time. Alice was briefly aware how Jess was still fully dressed. She wanted to feel her too, press their bodies close together. She dragged her lips back to hers, kissing her so deep and hard Jess gasped in surprise.

She drove her fingers anxiously to her tee, pulling it, and Jess got the message, removing the fabric. Alice had never removed another woman’s bra, but she had enough practice throughout her lifetime to just easily unhook Jess’s, tossing it to the side—where a noise of something cracking followed. Jess grinned against Alice’s lips as she pulled her small figure on her lap.

Alice straddled her, arching her body against Jess, the friction of their skins making her sigh. Women were so soft, so deliciously alluring, she had never considered it before and she had no clue as to why. Jess’s hands running up her spine, her breasts pressed against hers, it was heavenly.

Jessamine moved them again, setting Alice back against the couch while her body hovered hers, a hand trailing down her body. Alice couldn’t hold in the moan when Jess touched her, over the fabric of the panties, feeling the warmth she emanated for her.

“When was the last time you were touched?” Jessamine wondered out loud, her voice hoarse and eyes dark, watching Alice’s every reaction to every small circling her fingers did over her center.

Her squirming under Jess answered the question—too long.

Jessamine decided to move down then, dragging Alice’s panties down until she was lying there, sprawled and naked in front of her. Alice met her gaze, watching Jess’s delay to contemplate the sight that was the brunette, hot and surrounded.

Spreading her knees, Jess high dived between her legs, kissing and biting her thighs before her tongue met her center and Alice at last let out the moan that had been trapped in her throat.

She was an eager lover, delving into her center, tongue spreading her further open with absurd need and desire. Jess liked to give, almost as if making Alice scream was her own personal undoing. And Alice gave it to her, hands gripping her locks and the couch pillows, hips thrusting back against Jessamine’s mouth. Every lapping of her center, every suck on her clit, all making Alice louder each time.

When Jess pushed her long fingers inside her, Alice was nearly undone, and then Jess curled her fingers just the right way that sent Alice off a high cliff—Jess’s name on her lips as she lost all coherent thought.

Jess was still kissing her thighs and planting kisses on her mound when Alice came back to her senses, breathless. She couldn’t remember the last time she had an orgasm, let alone such a good one. Her eyes darted down to meet Jess’s and Alice just giggled—she never did such a thing.

“Wow,” Alice managed out, biting her lip.

Jessamine didn’t say anything, she simply chuckled, moving on top of Alice again. The kiss was tender this time, still filled with the laziness of Alice’s climax. Alice could taste herself on Jess’s lip and she could feel the lewd desire still pouring from the blonde. Alice’s fingers traced her stomach and stopped at her jeans.

“Take them off,” Alice’s tone was bossy and Jess obliged, stripping off the remaining pieces of clothes.

She was still on top of her when Alice reached to touch her this time, massaging her center. She may have never had sex with a woman, but Alice was not naive and she knew how she liked to be touched. Following her gut, she massaged Jess’s clit and the approval came as a little sigh.

When their lips met again it was like fervor took over them, an uncontrollable passion that Alice had been locking away without knowing. She massaged and pinched her until Jess wasn’t able to hold her weight on top of Alice anymore. Then she slipped her fingers in and thrust, strong small curls of her delicate fingers.

Alice broke from the kiss to look at Jess when the blonde crashed, eyes shut tight and body shuddering on top of her. What a sight she was, Alice gasped in awe of her undoing. She waited until Jess was watching her, and maybe the alcohol still in her system or the cloud of lust surrounding them, but Alice waited before she brought her fingers to her lips to lick them—to taste Jess.

“Fuck,” Jess groaned low as she watched Alice. “That’s hot.” Their grins filled up the room. Jess was shaky as their mouths met again, exploring Alice’s mouth slowly, like she had on that first kiss.

They seemed to have moved so fast, but when Alice gazed over Jess’s shoulder to the clock, it was way past three. The lethargic bliss of sex, the alcohol beginning to wear off and the lateness made her yawn, and Jess followed.

“Wanna go to bed with me, or is that not—?” Alice couldn’t finish, as Jess was already standing and pulling her up. What she wasn’t expecting was to be swung into Jess’s arms when the blonde lifted both her thighs.

Alice grinned, holding onto her like dear life, her legs wrapped tight around her waist as she leaned to peck her lips.

They rolled onto the mattress, under the thick duvet,  and Alice sighed in sheer content when Jess held an arm around her waist, cuddling her from behind, her long body so tightly pressed against hers the perfect shelter. Alice was drifting quickly and she couldn’t stop to panic over the fact they were cuddling—and how she never really cuddled her partners. Instead, she let herself fall asleep in her arms like the world was free of any worries. It was just them on a snowy night, utterly hammered and blinded by delicious sex.

——

Alice was alone when she woke up, the warm sheets covering her unable to mask the coldness of the empty spot beside her. Jess had left. She shouldn’t be so surprised, or disappointed. They’d had drinks, they’d had sex, she had left. It was no different from some previous encounters Alice had—except she could now add “women also leaving in the morning” to the list. The regret and defeat made her not want to leave the bed, she wanted to sink into the duvet and never leave again. But she forced herself out.

Stepping on the chilly floor, Alice tiptoed naked to the bathroom to run the tub. She smelled of Jessamine everywhere on her skin and as much as she wanted the scent and her touch to linger, the day was dreadfully cold and she wanted to sink in her problems—since it was far too early to do so with a glass of wine.

She searched the cabinets for some oils or scents to pour in the water, anything that would aid picking up her broken ego, but all there was were Rose’s liquid soaps and skincare products. It would have to be just warm water and the faint memory of the night before.

“I hope the bath is for the both of us.”

When Alice turned around Jess was leaning against the doorframe, watching her with a foolish grin. Alice jumped, startled, which made Jessamine chuckle.

“Oh, God, you scared me,” Alice gasped, bringing her hand to her chest hoping it would slow down her heart. But looking up to the sight of Jess wearing nothing but her robe only made Alice’s heart beat faster.

“Were you expecting someone else?” Jess mused, that enchanting smile crossing her lips.

“No, I just thought you had left—” Alice cut herself off, feeling silly for having thought that, especially with the sight of Jess wearing her robe. It made her quickly realize how she was bare to the bone, which perhaps explained Jessamine’s grin. There was really no point in covering herself now, but Alice still flustered.

“Did you want me to? I can go…” Jess gestured with her thumb that she could simply leave and Alice quickly shook her head, she surely wanted Jess to stay.

“No, no—stay,” Alice said quietly, biting her lower lip.

Jess smiled what Alice thought could be the most stunning smile she had ever seen her entire life. It took all the courage in her to walk up to her and undo the ties of the robe and pull the fabric down.

“The bath was just for me, but I would love it if you joined,” she whispered, eyes gazing up at Jess’s wry smile.

Alice watched her smile grow as she tried to stand on her tiptoes to meet Jess’s lips. She obliged, meeting Alice halfway, bending down to greet the kiss with eagerness. No heels, no questioning their emotions, completely naked in each other’s arms. They looked like an erotic renaissance painting. The tall and the short one, blonde and brunette, two women diving into passion and lust.

The bathroom was a mess when they finished, water having overflowed with their eagerness to give each other some more of that sublime pleasure. They were no longer drunk, except for the inebriation that came with being one another. But they had not yet talked about the night before—or that morning, their sex drive being stronger than any words. As they slipped downstairs to eat something, Jessamine in a bathrobe and Alice with a towel around her slim figure, they were bound to talk.

“Breakfast is cold,” Jessamine said as she turned the stove to reheat the toast. Alice sat at the table, watching her decide whether or not the ham needed the same treatment. “Do you eat meat?”

“Yeah, meat’s all right,” Alice wondered with a frown, what was it that Jess was cooking up.

“How about eggs, how do you like them?”

“Just sunny side up,” she shrugged. “What is that you’re making?”

“English breakfast. Well, not a full one since you didn’t have tomatoes or beans and some other things, in the fridge.” Jessamine flipped the toasts and looked over her shoulder with a smile. “Essentially just toast, egg and ham then.”

Alice could settle for that. She normally had a smoothie or something lighter, but Jess was cooking and she was enjoying that sight. James had never cooked for her. She didn’t want to be comparing the two, as they were utterly different people, but it was a thought she couldn’t shake off. Jessamine barely knew her that well and there she was, making her come first thing in the morning and cooking her food.

It wasn’t a usual feeling for her, Alice had grown used to not being fully liked. Her relationships had either been casual or never lasted. It was a nice change how Jess dotted on her with very small things—like grabbing her beer, or sneaking kisses to her neck and cooking.

She never thought the cooking would be this remarkably important, but it turned out Alice enjoyed it a lot.

“Sounds delicious,” she told Jess, smiling largely. “Can I help?”

“Ah, well, it’s pretty much done. I was going to bring it upstairs when I heard the tub running and you know what happened after.” Jess shot her a smirk that made Alice glad to be seated. That explained though why she hadn’t found Jess in the morning. Alice felt even sillier for being so distressed before when she hadn’t even bothered to look before jumping to conclusions.  “If you can boil us the water for tea, that would be lovely. Unless you want coffee.”

Normally Alice would always go for coffee, but she was in a mood for trying new things.

“I can go for tea.”

“Wonderful.” Jess pointed at the kettle and Alice prompted herself up.

They moved in a little dance in the small kitchen, Jess reaching over Alice for plates, while she snuck under Jess’s arm to fill up the water. At some given point, both done with their tasks, Alice found herself trapped between Jessamine and the counter—a position she found she quite enjoyed. She smirked down at the brunette before lifting her up to the counter, their heights at a much bigger advantage now.

Jess kissed her slow, the taste of her a delicious drug Alice was growing slowly addicted to. She spread her hands on Alice’s thighs to tug her closer and deepen the kiss. Short legs hooking tight on the tall woman, fingers tugging at blonde locks, Alice was quickly feeling heated up again.

When they stopped for air, neither of them pulled back, Alice’s forehead resting against Jess’s.

“Breakfast is going to get cold again,” Alice whispered before she initiated another kiss and ignited another heated fire between them.

It would have gone cold again, as Jessamine’s hand was already slipping between Alice’s legs even with the kettle screaming by them, but the buzzing of the phone interrupted them, both groaning in discontent.

“I think it’s mine,” Jess whispered against Alice’s lips.

“Let it ring…”

“It could be important, actually,” she pulled back but not without reluctance. “I’m sorry.”

“That’s all right,” Alice nodded trying to catch her breath.

When Jess pulled back, Alice hopped off the counter and took the water off the stove, serving them two cups. She took them to the table, sitting by her plate, but her ears got quickly alert to the conversation. She had called someone darling and the realization that this someone could be a woman Jessamine saw, like she had seen Alice the night before, suddenly sunk in. People did that all the time, had a one night stand—especially if they knew that there was no commitment involved because the person lived across the globe.

Alice tried to not think too much of it, maybe it was nothing, she could simply be overthinking it. She had no right or reason to be upset, they fucked and that was it.

“Don’t worry, Leah, I’ll be home soon,” Jess said on the phone before she hung up.

Her expression was clearly changed when she came back to the table and Alice felt her heart sink even further.

“Alice, I’m so sorry, I actually have to run,” Jessamine sounded apologetically and Alice just nodded.

“I get it,” she sighed, her disappointment quite clear.

Jess opened her mouth to say something but nothing really came out. Instead she walked up to Alice and leaned over to kiss her.

“I—I hope you enjoy the breakfast.” Jess smiled when she pulled back, watching Alice nod again. Alice’s smile was clearly fake, but it seemed Jessamine was in too much of a hurry to notice.

She only slowed down by the door, looking back at Alice before she went out.

“I loved meeting you, Alice.” Her whisper was almost inaudible, but Alice heard her from across the room and the  parting smile they exchanged was sad.

After Jessamine was gone, Alice cleaned up the kitchen, saving to eat Jess’s plate later or the next day. After breakfast she cleaned the living room. Over the center table with a broken vase was Jessamine’s bra that Alice had so eagerly tossed aside the night before. Alice folded the piece and set it neatly on the table, removing the broken vase pieces.

The thought that crossed her mind made Alice curse under her breath. Jessamine had sneaked away and she could just simply leave it there—it was her sister’s house after all—instead of trying to return it.

Still, she called up Rosalie.

“Hi, Rose,” she said cheerily on the phone.

“Alice, so good to hear from you! How’s England treating you? I hope you’re enjoying everything there,” Rose said, excitedly as well.

“Oh, everything is great! The cottage is so nice, and I visited the city the other day.”

“I hope it isn’t too lonesome? Listen, if you want I can call up my sister and she can show you around,” she suggested, making Alice clear her throat.

“She actually stopped by, yeah.”

“That’s wonderful you made acquaintances already.” Rose sounded relieved and Alice grinned nervously.

“She actually forgot something of hers here and I don’t really have her number—”

“I’ll text you! If you would rather, actually, I can send the address as well. She’s right in London, not  far from there.”

“Oh, sure, thank you!” Alice wasn’t sure she could just show up there, if it would be barging into the other woman’s space, but perhaps she could text and mention the bra. “How are you liking Los Angeles?”

“I’m loving it here! I met your cousin.” There was a long pause and it seemed both were waiting for the other to continue.

“Emmett?”

“Yeah! He came to pick your ex’s things…”

“Thank God,” Alice laughed, at least she could be relieved James’s things wouldn’t be there when she returned. “He’s really amazing, Emmett.”

“He really is. He was showing me around,” Rose cleared her throat and for some reason Alice felt that it meant the same thing as when she did it about Jess.

“I’m happy you two are having fun!” Alice grinned. “I don’t want to keep you from it!”

“Nonsense, I’m loving chatting with you,” Rose laughed lightly and Alice nodded at it—even though Rosalie couldn’t really see it.

“Me too, Rose!”

They chatted for over half an hour until Rose had to go meet Emmett, like they had arranged to do. Alice was faced with her own turmoil after the call was over. Should she text or call Jessamine? Should she show up at her door? She felt the second might be crossing a boundary too strongly. She didn’t want to be that kind of woman, so she went with the first option.

Alice: Hi, it’s Alice. Rose gave me your number.

Alice: I hope I’m not intruding or anything, it’s just that you forgot your bra here. Should I leave it somewhere? I don’t know if you would want your sister to find it here. Then again you do crash here a lot, so that might have been a silly thought.

She felt stupid, like she couldn’t properly text anymore. Alice had always been so sure of things, so certain and direct. And with Jessamine she didn’t know hot to act, kept circling around like a foolish teen. The messages were sent though, trying to further explain herself would only make it worse.

Jess: Hey!

Jess: Well, I’m not going to be in the area until next week, I think. But maybe if you’re in London we can meet up.

Alice was surprised with the quick response, but she couldn’t read if there was enthusiasm or not and cursed herself for not having called instead—she hated text messages.

Alice: I’m actually planning to go sightseeing tomorrow, I could drop it off with you.

Jess: Yeah, just text me when you’re in the area!

Alice: Will do.

It felt better in the end, being brief and short, distant.

When she curled in bed later that night, with her copy of Blood In The Shoe—the murder mystery she had been reading—, Alice had Jessamine’s scent surrounding her, the smell of her stuck in the sheets and the duvet and it seemed to involve Alice like a string of calmness as she read. The characters were so particularly peculiar on the tale—the girl so direct and so bold felt like her own self, she liked that feisty suspect of the murder—even if she questioned whether or not the woman was in fact a murderer.

Those types of stories could really capture Alice, she had a thing for mystery and the thought of it made her close the book at the end of chapter three. As eager as she was for finding out the end, Alice’s mind kept drifting off to the tall blonde that had driven her wild the night before—and funnily enough the detective in the story was also a tall blond. Maybe that was what made her think of Jessamine.

Alice avoided getting involved at all costs, it was simply something she didn’t allow herself to do. When she was a teenager she had and it only resulted in tears and heartbreak. She had dated this boy who had replaced her for someone else, and not just anybody, her best friend at the time. Alice had never cried so much. Now when she looked back at it, it had been such a silly array. But Alice promised she would never cry because of love ever again, or for anyone.

It became well known that she was an ice queen in relationships, never giving herself in, always a step back in emotional involvement, all for her own good. And she was happy that way, at least it was easier. Not getting attached and always being ready for it to end meant she didn’t get to feel like crap again. It should be easier, but it wasn’t. She might not cry, but Alice could still feel things, after all she was only human. Avoiding and locking it away just meant she didn’t have to deal with it.

Somehow, it felt different when it came to Jessamine.

——

The next day Alice visited some spots she had wanted to see in London, but Buckingham  Palace still remained. It was about to get dark and she still hadn’t heard back from Jessamine to do the drop off. Alice had texted her earlier in the day to let her know she was around, but there was no answer. She had the address but she didn’t want to simply show up there, Alice just felt it would be all too strange. But she hated driving on the wrong side of the road, and doing so at night would be scary and dreadful.

Alice told herself she would leave it at the door and simply write a note explaining why she left there and how she had the address. Something simple like: Rose gave me the address, had to run. Maybe add how nice it was that they had met—no, that would be too foolish. The simple note would do. Except she didn’t have a paper, or a pen. She would have to explain it to Jess herself.

Braving through the open gate and charming front yard, Alice rang the bell and regretted it the following second.

Placing the bag on the ground, she turned to simply leave before Jess could see her. She would leave a text explaining after and hoped that would be better. But before she could give more than three steps, the door cracked open.

“Alice?”

She stopped on her track, cursing under her breath before she turned around with a smile.

“Hi—”

“Hey… What are—”

Before Jess could even ask, Alice cut her off to begin explaining.

“I’m so sorry, I really don’t mean to barge in. I hate the freaking wrong sided road and I had to head home before it got too dark. Rose gave me your address and I was just going to drop with a note, but I had no pen or paper so I figured I would give it to you. But then it sunk on me how absurd and ridiculous would be when you opened the door to see me and thought would be better to just leave there and text you later and now—Oh well, now this is much worse than I had foreseen it,” she rambled and Jessamine could only give her a wry smile—that didn’t help Alice’s trail of thought at all—looking down at the bag on the floor.

She picked it up, seeing the bra inside it made Jess smile. Alice hoped foolishly that it was because of the memory of their night, even though she felt it might be for how ridiculous she had just sounded.

“Thank you for bringing it. I’m sorry I didn’t return your text, it was really a god awful day,” Jess apologized. Before she could go on though, a head popped at the door. A child.

Alice was immediately shocked and then a second little girl, even younger than the other, appeared.

“Mommy, who’s that?”

It all happened too fast in Alice’s mind, as she pictured Jessamine with a husband and a family, a true housewife, having escapades with women she found at bars—or at her twin’s house. Alice felt her stomach turn, thinking she was someone’s affair. How stupid she had been!

“That’s a friend of mine, Leah,” Jess told the youngest one and Alice immediately recalled the phone call she had in the morning that made her rush out.

Alice was still staring at the children in awe when the oldest poked Jess’s leg.

“Alice, this is Charlotte and Leah, my daughters. Girls, this is mommy’s friend Alice.” Jessamine looked at Alice, apologetically.

“Nice meeting you Alice, would you like to come in?” Charlotte, the oldest, said so kindly and smiled.

“Oh—I—” This was totally outside Alice’s realm so she looked up to Jessamine for approval. She nodded promptly. “Sure, thank you, Charlotte.”

The three made way and Alice stepped into something that looked right out of a wild dream. Jess helped Alice with her coat as the girls ran into the living room. When they were briefly left alone, Alice eyed Jessamine with shocked inquisition, eyes quickly darting around looking for a husband.

“W-i-d-o-w,” Jessamine spelled so that it wouldn’t be easily caught by the distracted girls. Alice stopped on her track and looked at Jess like she had been punched on the stomach—it was worse. Not for the little affair they had, of course, but the fact Jessamine had lost someone she loved enough to build a family, it just made her feel so bad for her.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, Jess,” Alice mumbled as Jessamine trailed off.

“It’s quite all right now. Maria passed five years ago,” Jess said, seeing how Alice looked like she was slapped on the face again. “I’m a lesbian, you know that right?” She was amusedly chuckling.

“Yeah, I figured as much, I just—” Alice looked over her shoulder to where the girls were playing.

Before Jessamine could explain it though, they came running to meet the two adults.

“Mommy, she’s so pretty,” Leah said, looking at Alice in awe.

“Oh, thank you.”

“I quite agree,” Jess said and the little comment made Alice blush.

“You look like my doll,” Charlotte added with a giggle, taking Alice’s hand and dragging her along. “Let me show her to you.”

“All right.” Alice looked at Jess briefly, chuckling as she followed the girls.

Alice sat with them for the longest time, being shown every single toy and even helping them pick outfits for the barbies. The girls were absolutely astonished by Alice’s ease to play with them, and they adored her sense of style for the dolls—so different their mother normally had.

It was after dinner—which Alice had watched from a far as Jessamine cooked for them—a delicious pasta that made a mess out of Jess trying to help Leah eat, the girls invited Alice to see the tent they had in their room. It was Alice’s turn to be in awe of the beauty of it, as the four of them laid inside it—Jess and Alice in the middle, the girls on the sides.

“It’s so beautiful,” Alice told the girls.

Paper cup stars, fairy lights, and pictures hung from the sheer fabrics that covered the ceiling, forming a made-up gigantic tent, filled with pillows, blankets and stuffed animals.

“Mommy made it with us,” Charlotte told her.

“I love it. Your mommy is very talented.”

“Us too!” Leah squealed, making all of them laugh.

“You too, yes.” Alice nodded.

They were still grinning when Jess reached for Alice’s hadn’t between them, and their gaze met.

“Alice?”

“Mhm?” She looked over at Charlotte.

“If you want to sleep over I can let you borrow my pillow,” the oldest girl told her, making her smile largely.

“Thank you, Charlotte, that’s very sweet.” Alice smiled at her, nodding. “Maybe another time.”

Later, when the girls were asleep and Alice and Jess could finally talk, they took the conversation to Jessamine’s study. It was quiet for a while and Alice looked at the endless titles on the bookshelf for what seemed like minutes. Jess waited until they felt ready to ask the right answers.

“You were married then.” Alice started, leaning against the bookshelf and watching Jess, who sat across the room.

“Yes, for four years.” Jess didn’t seem filled with sadness and sorrow and Alice imagined it might be because the passing wasn’t recent. “Maria died when Leah was still a baby, since then it’s just been the three of us.”

“I’m so sorry, Jess,” she said sincerely.

“I don’t normally tell people this on first dates. It’s difficult being a single mom, let alone a lesbian single mom of two. So I tend to separate things,” Jess explained and Alice nodded quickly.

“I completely get it. I didn’t want to barge in,” Alice sounded apologetically and her eyes were sincere.

“You didn’t… You were a hit.” Jess laughed. “That’s just my way of protecting them, I don’t really date. On weekends, when they go to my in-laws, I get to be just Jess and not the mom of two who has to work and balance bake offs and recitals and work.”

“You’re a rockstar for doing all this, honestly.” Alice couldn’t picture herself doing half of what she imagined Jess had to do. “It must be difficult.”

“Sometimes it is, but I wouldn’t change a thing.” Jess stood from her seat and went to the bar she kept hidden in one to the cabinets, getting each of them a dose of bourbon.

Alice took the cup willingly, it had been a lot of information in one night. Jess was standing closer now and her scent was intoxicating, more than the strong alcohol. She sipped the liquor, but her eyes were on the blonde—and hers had never left Alice’s.

“I shouldn’t probably drink much, I still have a long drive,” Alice remembered, but it was more an excuse. She didn’t trust herself drunk next to Jessamine. And that entire array was just too complicated, and Alice wasn’t sure she was ready for complicated, they barely knew each other after all.

“I’m not letting you drive home, Alice.” Jessamine seemed serious and Alice chuckled.

“We both know I was merely panicking earlier, I can definitely drive this late, I just have to be more careful,” she rambled on while Jess put her cup down.

She missed the gaze Jess was giving her because of her rant, but it was impossible for her not to stop when she stood right in front of her, trapping Alice against the shelf. Jess’s hand snaked up her neck to sprawl on Alice’s scalp, planting one of her legs between Alice’s when she took a step closer to her, this time literally pressing her against the furniture.

“That’s not the reason you’re staying tonight.” Jess’s voice was hoarse, her hot breath against Alice’s lips when she leaned over. Alice basked on it, like her air was what she needed to survive. And then their mouths crashed and she realized she didn’t need to breathe, all she needed was to kiss Jess.

Alice felt sore the next morning when she woke up on Jessamine’s bed, her limbs worn out from what they had done all night long—as if it was the last one. Jess was nowhere to be found under the comfortable duvet, but Alice decided to wait this time. And her award came bringing them a tray with deliciously smelling food.

“Morning.” Alice stretched, smiling and yawning still in sheer bliss.

“Hey, sleepyhead,” Jess said cheekily, kicking the door shut for lack of free hands. Alice realized it might be late, and was alarmed to look at the clock. It was noon.

“Oh, fuck—Rose’s dog, and God, what will your daughter’s think?”

“Don’t worry, the girls are at school already, the bus took them earlier. And I called up Rose’s neighbor to walk up the pup,” Jess explained, setting down the tray. “Figured you needed sleep.”

“Wow. You also cooked breakfast, again.” Alice pointed out, looking at the food on the tray. 

“American breakfast this time.” Jessamine motioned the pancakes with a chuckle as Alice beamed.

“The other was amazing too.”

“I get it, this is a taste from home.”

Alice nodded, even though she didn’t really miss home, this was nice, she enjoyed it. She took a bite of the pancakes and a sip of the juice, sighing in content.

“This is delicious, Jess! Thanks,” she said with a mouthful, too excited and hungry to mind, but giving her an apologetically smile for it. Jessamine just shook her head with amusement, leaning to peck her lips.

“I was thinking maybe we could see the city? As much as I’d like to keep you in bed as long as I can, I figured you might want to go sightseeing?”

Alice blushed heavily with the little comment, but gave Jess a nod.

“I’ve seen some things, but I still have a few spots to cover.”

“We’ll go there. Where to first?”

“Buckingham Palace!” Alice’s eyes lit up immediately, making Jessamine laugh.

“Such a yankee.” Jess rolled her eyes dramatically.

“God Save the Queen.” Alice teased just to make Jess squirm.

“Jesus Christ, don’t make me regret this, Alice.” she laughed though, leaning over to kiss her. Alice returned it eagerly, realizing they hadn’t kissed yet—and it had been something was secretly anxious for.

“Well, if you keep kissing me like this you may just change my mind.”

“Good to know,” Jess whispered and because of that, she kissed Alice again, only deeper this time.

They did leave the room to explore the city, but not before Jessamine put the tray aside so she could roll on top of Alice to make her scream like they hadn’t been able to the night before.

——

  “So I was your first?” Jessamine blinked in sheer surprise then, but the smile creeping on her lips was enchanting. “I mean, you didn’t strike me as a lesbian, but sometimes women have adventures.”

“Nope, no adventures. I am pretty boring.” Alice grinned, leaning back against Jessamine.

“You’re anything but boring,” Jess said quietly, making Alice look up to her.

It was Christmas Eve and Jessamine had invited Alice to spend it with them—which was great because spending it alone was something Alice had been dreading. It had been the most lovely night, too. Jessamine had cooked, Alice had brought dessert, and the girls had arranged a stocking to hang up for Alice.

The two women had spent most of the time in a friendly manner, with the exception of some longer looks here and there. But now that Charlotte and Leah were tucked in, Alice didn’t hesitate on leaning in to kiss Jess.

It had been two weeks that they had been like this. Kisses, dates, sleepless nights in each other’s arms. All the problems she had had back home seemed to have vanished. But now that she was leaving the next day, she didn’t know how to deal with the fact Jess would be across the globe and that they would likely be moving on from their winter adventure.

They hadn’t talked about the departure, at all, but Jessamine knew she was leaving soon.

“Well, maybe not in London.” Alice chuckled, a sigh escaping her lips when she sheltered against the blonde again.

“I have a wild thought.”

“Hm?”

Jess waited a few moments until Alice had to pull back and look at her.

“Why don’t you stay for New Years? I mean, what’s another week…” Jessamine was always confident and sure of things, but Alice noticed how hurried and nervous she sounded when the words were said out loud.

“Oh—”

As much as Alice would love to stay, she had her work and her life back in Los Angeles. Aside from the fact that Rosalie would be returning to England soon and she would have nowhere to stay any longer—not that she couldn’t arrange that though, Alice surely had the means for that.

“I understand if you can’t,” Jess trailed off. “I thought it was worth the shot.”

“I’d love to stay, Jess. I don’t think I can, though.” Alice’s heart broke seeing the expression in her face, but Jess still nodded.

“I get it, I really do.” The way Jess pulled back to stand up from the couch was what broke Alice even more. All of the sudden it was like the lump of her throat that Alice had when she flew to Europe was back again, that tightness in her gut.

She watched Jess busy with collecting the appetizers and some cuts, heading to the kitchen in silence. There was no doubt she was upset and Alice felt helpless. She had no clue what to do, but she didn’t want to see Jess that way.

Alice met a teary Jessamine in the kitchen.

“Jess—”

“I’m sorry, I’m always like this.” She wiped her cheeks, sniffling. “I cry over everything. Good book, good movie, goodbyes…”

Her eyes were big and green because of the tears and when Alice met her gaze, it was like her heart skipped a beat. She came closer to Jess, cupping her cheeks and pulling her down to kiss her. There was no hurry and no lust, but it was pouring with the most sublime sentiment. Slow and calm, like a farewell.

Jess gripped onto Alice tighter, pulling her closer, almost possessively. When they parted for air, her fist was clinging onto the fabric of Alice’s dress and she didn’t want to let her go.

“Will you come say goodbye to me tomorrow?”

She could see it broke Jess a little more to nod, and Alice felt like a monster for hurting her that way.

“Thank you,” Alice whispered and tiptoed to kiss her again.

——

“I never cry.” Alice sobbed, buried into Jessamine’s embrace, tugging the blonde tightly against to her. “Oh, I’m so stupid.”

“Shh, it’s all right, Alice,” Jess said soothingly, her hand running up and down her spine. “It’s completely fine to cry.”

“You don’t get it.” She pulled back to look up at Jess. Alice was a mess, swollen eyes, red nose, cheeks completely wet. “I never cry, Jess, over anything. Books, movies, goodbyes…” She copied the words from the night before, making Jess chuckle.

“Should I be worried?” Jess taunted, brushing a thumb over her cheek.

“Possibly.” Alice gasped, an amused grin over the tears. “I’m crying now. Because I don’t want to go, I want to stay… With you.”

Jessamine was surprised, but she was smiling, so Alice took it as a good sign to continue talking.

“I never get involved, I don’t let myself because I don’t want to get hurt. And I let my guard down with you because… I don’t even know why! It’s completely wild to me, but here I am, crying like an idiot because I want to spend New Year’s with you.”

“Then stay, Alice,” Jess said simply and Alice wished it was indeed that easy.

“Rose is arriving tomorrow, I would have to get a hotel.”

“Or you could just stay with me. I have a spare room if you’re worried about your privacy.” Again, Jess said it as if it was no big of a deal. Alice doubted if she stayed that she would be using the guest room that much.

“I have work in Los Angeles.”

“It’s the week between Christmas and New Year, your employees will be glad you’re taking one more week off.” Jess chuckled, cupping both her cheeks this time and tilting Alice’s head up to her. “Go on, ask the final question so I can convince you to stay.”

Alice wasn’t sure her final question was the same as Jessamine’s, but the look in the blonde’s eyes told her that maybe they were thinking the exact same thing. Alice still hesitated, inspecting her green eyes.

“What about after, Jess?”

“Well, I’m falling deeply in love with you, Alice. So we’ll definitely have to figure that out.”

If her heart could stop, Alice imagined that it would have, right then and there. But, for once in her life, she felt sincerely the same way.

“You are?” She asked, blinking tears again.

“Yes.” Jess sounded so truthful, her thumbs caressing Alice’s jaw.

“And do you think we can figure this out?”

“It depends…”

“On what?” Alice wondered, frowning slightly.”

“Whether you feel the same way or not?” Jess wondered and this time Alice smiled.

She didn’t answer at start, pulling Jessamine to a kiss instead. Her mouth so anxiously devouring her tall blonde, tugging her coat to drag her down more into the dance.

“I’m falling in love with you too, Jess.”

“Then we can definitely figure that out.”

And they would, in a week or so, once the year had ended and their hearts had been forever laced together.

——

“So that’s how you and grammy met, grandma?” The teenager boy sitting beside Alice looked up to her, a smile on his dimpled cheeks. She nodded at him.

Her short black hair was beginning to fade to a lighter color, the roots and some locks turning to white. Her face carried the wrinkles time brought, but she was still a breathtaking beauty Jess had met all those years ago.

Across the room, Jess walked in with a girl the same age as the boy—a precise female copy of him—carrying plates of food. A couple other family members following behind them—their mom Charlotte and their father Peter, aunt Leah, Rose and Emmett, Edythe and Bella, all bringing something.

“Food is ready,” Jess said, her wry smile meeting her wife’s across the room.

“Are you ready?” Alice asked the boy, who nodded.

Alice went to join Jessamine’s side, who leaned to kiss her cheek.

“Merry Christmas, love,” Jess whispered in her ear. Alice turned so their lips met briefly.

“Merry Christmas, darling.”

They both looked at their family, so big and happy.

“Thank you for a wonderful life, Jess.”

“You’re welcome, ma’am.”

Want to also personally thank @irrelevanttous and @beautlilies for all the hard work on correcting, giving me tips and helping me review this long ass work. Pardon if some things might have missed my eye, but they deserve ALL THE PRAISE for putting up with my bad grammar and inventing words that do not exist. Thank you, ladies! ♡

[mcrrisons]

wooo hi friends!! s here FINALLY dropping this intro, you’ll now know that i’m late to everything O:) i have insane muse for this type of character so i’m sooo excited to be here! any questions lmk but now ........... *rubs hands together like a fly* let’s get to plotting

@mapleviewstarters​

『 travis fimmel. fourty-six. cismale. he/him. 』 oh heavens, is that WELLS MORRISON from CHESTNUT DRIVE i see roaming around mapleview? minnie may’s always calling them -BELLIGERENT & -CONTRITE. i happen to think they’re not that bad! they’re a pretty cool at COLLECTING UNEMPLOYMENT and every time i’ve seen them, they’ve always been +CAPTIVATING & +OPEN-MINDED. i hope i see them around again! 

TW: ALCOHOLISM, DEATH, ABUSE

GETTING TO KNOW WELLS

full name: wells irving morrison

age / birthdate / sign: 45 / november 18, 1974 / scorpio

gender / pronouns: cismale / he/him

orientation: hetero

height: 6′2″

hair color: dirty blond, some gray growing in

tattoos: a lot of drunken tats over the years, either cheap ones or ones that his buddies did for him for free. most of the actual WANTED ones covered up some scars he chose to ignore

drinks / smokes / drugs: big yes to all, no one left behind - but alcohol and cigarettes daily as those are more acceptable and easier to get

occupation: although collecting unemployment from the government, he often has plenty of odd jobs to make money under the books. 

residence: mapleview, born and raised. still lives in the same plot of houses his great great bought / built years ago.

alignment: chaotic evil (but he tries his best............ ok)

parents: hank (deceased) & caroline morrison 

siblings: 2 brothers (jeremiah & tucker) and 1 sister (addison) that he KNOWS of

children: lane morrison (intro here), and probably a few others but that’s for future plots!!

WHAT’S HIS STORY ?

wells’ blood runs thick through this town to a long line of morrisons, and they sure as hell make SURE everyone knows it. rumors have flown around about the morrison family for generations, eyes roll when they enter a space (at least in wells’ experience) & they own a reputation of chaos. scaring away newcomers just by being themselves. and of course, like it was in his dna, wells’ actions would align with those that preceded him.

he grew up on a plot of land bought many moons ago by his great great ... grandfather / uncle /  (the story changes every time he hears it) w/ a few trailer-like one story homes with broken screen doors & random “antiques” in the yard aka things that people in fair lane were throwing out that everyone THOUGHT would be needed one day. (still lives here btw!!!)

growing up around family was FINE but it reminded him of his destination - what he was going to end up like anyway, DESPITE being kinda smart in school & having larger dreams. the family was scrappy, deceitful; wells learned at an early age how to manipulate people to get what he wanted. he was taught how to STEAL, lie, charm, and how to get by with what they had.

wells spent most of his childhood at his uncle’s home, just a few minute walk away on the plot bc his own home wasn’t ideal. he looked up to the guy A LOT, but hasn’t spoken since he left mapleview for bigger and better things when wells was just 15.

his father, a returned drafted vietnam vet, took out the anger of what he witnessed / how he was treated / how life was UNFAIR out on his family, and often times physically. he wasn’t involved in wells’ life all too much, only when he needed something or wanted to let off some steam. 

his mother was a caring & loving woman, also mapleview grown (the two had been high school sweethearts), but loyal to a FAULT, always choosing her husband to back. 

screams, crashes, fights, fires - you name it. needless to say, that plot of morrison homes never had it quiet, easy. cops knew everyone by first and last name and could drive the route from the station to the morrison’s home with their eyes closed.

wells’ father DIED when he was 19 (although wells hadn’t considered him alive for a while) & no one knew HOW so there was never any closure for him, his mother, his fam... all his death provided was another source for the rumor mill surrounding the morrisons. was it a bad bar fight ? did he have a bad fall ? wrong pills ? some say his mother was a killer but he knew better than that.

wells’ mother is still live & somewhat well, living with his brother in a house about 20 minutes away. at her old age, it’s hard for her to do things on her own and it was decided that wells - the youngest of his generation - wouldn’t be able to care after her, let alone care for himself. she’s been there for about 10 years now and still complains every minute.

ok back to our boy. somehow wells managed to destroy every good thing that ever came his way. self-destructive due to self-hatred and REGRET which never got better as he got older and continued to well, destroy things. a slippery slope, for sure.

alongside his uncle, always dreaming of getting out of this small town, wells was good ENOUGH at school and that was his way. but of course it didn’t happen: 1. he fell into fulfilling prophecy of his predecessors, 2. he had not a PENNY to his name to leave (i.e. gambling addiction), 3. he had a child in his early twenties, 4. he tried to fight the admissions counselor at the nearby community college

having some sort of love in his life. didn’t happen: 1. he pushed/pushes everyone that dare get too close (mostly selfishly), 2. couldn’t change his addictive personality (i.e. alcoholism), 3. began to resemble his father, 4. has 0 emotional intelligence and cannot touch feelings/emotions

to get a job and be a normal person in society. didn’t happen bc: 1. has a narcissist complex, 2. would steal from the cash register, 3. would hit on customers, 4. doesn’t understand paying “taxes”

more to add here

BASICALLY, he’s lived a life. he acts as though his life is already over, there’s nothing to lose, nothing to gain and this is just how it will be for the rest of his time on earth. he’s despondent and lives far too much in the PAST, blaming himself for everything that came his way (but ok he’s not too far off tbh).

although MANY a regret linger in his mind before sleep, his largest regret is losing his family - the love of his life who LEFT the two high and dry just after about a year together and his son who moved out at just 16. the mother of his child was the only person he remembers that saw him for more than rumors, his facade and became a good influence to him - but OF COURSE he fucked that one up and she left. he blames himself big time, but would never show that. only hatred her way aloud. 

his son, lane, left while still a boy just like himself, and it HURT to think that the apple hardly fell from the tree above, not able to be a good father. never TAUGHT how to be one. manipulative to a fault, wells would always say the younger was never appreciative, never UNDERSTOOD... and he’d convince himself that his son hated him as much as he hates himself. he’ll also say he’s the only reason he’s still alive. LOVE / HATE seems to blur so often for the old man here. always did.

the only constant throughout his life has been alcohol. the morrison’s start off early of course, and wells was drinking/etc on his own by the time he was 12. UNLESS you count the bourbon his father would feed him to sleep as a baby. what started off as social and partying as he grew older, became something much more ugly. his body didn’t just crave it, it NEEDED it to function by the time he was in his early twenties. it was easier to hide it then, all young and into a good time but it wouldn’t just last for weekends. he’d need a drink to get by mentally, and physically and became fully dependent. a depressant to match his mental illness.

WHO IS HE ?

he has a DEEP southern accent with a hard RASP that sounds as though he smokes a pack a day (because he does). 

despite graduating high school (i KNOW, believe it), he doesn’t have a vocabulary too wide and will use larger words incorrectly all the time.

can have a bit of an old grumpy man aesthetic, easily belligerent, even though he’s only in his 40s and can be charming as hell too (that smile!!!! ok!!! knows how to manipulate.)

he doesn’t trust the government at ALL and is a bit of a conspiracy theorist, despite collecting money from the government each week for unemployment. he refuses to pay taxes so only does jobs under the books. will go on a tangent about how the government is creating diseases, hiding aliens; eat the rich, etc... he also doesn’t trust cops at all, despite being picked up and taken home by them at least once a week.

grew up on rock and roll! had a band in the 80s where he could’ve SWORN they’d be rich and famous. long hair, tight pants, acting out - wannabe motley crue.

drives (ILLEGALLY) an old ford from the 70′s that somehow still works, after losing his license years ago from too many DWIs. 

i assume all of the town knows him as the town DRUNK. maybe it used to be funny back in the day, but now it’s just really SAD. he’s a nuisance. 

WHO DOES HE KNOW ?

y/c HIRED him for some odd jobs, must be under the table.

HIGH SCHOOL BUDDIES who also stayed around mapleview. they can be friendly, enemies now, distanced, a lot to do here.

a BROTHER / step (which i might submit to the main :))

a ONE-NIGHT stand

a GOOD INFLUENCE who tries their best to get him working towards something better. fair warning, this would 9.99/10 times not work.

where wells is the BAD INFLUENCE to y/c, convincing them to drink a ton, giving horrible advice when they’re in their most vulnerable state.

a STORE OWNER that has banned wells from entering their establishment due to a prior mishap.

a DEALER of all things wells shouldn’t, but does.

THE HILLS by the weeknd - a plot where these two are hooking up or together but only in secret. whether that’s because they’re in different socioeconomic classes, have a bad history, the other is cheating... they have to hide.

WHITE KNUCKLES - they’ve previously had a bar fight, are known enemies. could’ve been something said about his family, his past.

[prettygirlcore]

nct 127 as charlie puth songs

a/n: sure he’s kind of the worst but i had a phase of getting into his music and it lowkey still kinda bops. could be stockholm syndrome, tho ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

lee taeyong: dangerously

taeyong, despite his look when he’s on stage, was soft. that made it infinitely more painful when you saw what you did to him. he looks like an empty shell. he blames himself for ignoring how unhappy you were, he was so blissed out with love that he didn’t see how you lost interest. what hurt the most was how fine he was with your, more or less, toxicity. he just let you hurt him, most of the time. poor thing just wanted your love and got left with nothing.

“didn’t care if the explosion ruined me, baby, i loved you dangerously,”

moon taeil: does it feel

(i don’t have it in me to hurt taeil, sorry) he wonders every once and a while how you’re doing, if you’re truly as happy as you look in that instagram picture, with your new boyfriend. taeil tried to stop himself from reaching for the phone, but he can’t stop himself from feeling better than you when you pick up, sounding somewhat sad. he gets the feeling that your boyfriend is just like the rest of the assholes who hurt you before taeil. he promises to be quick, but he just has a question: does it feel like you’ll never find anyone else who’ll love you like him? of course it does.

“tell me lies, like how you're better off without me, while the truth is written all over your face,”

johnny suh: done for me

johnny hates how powerless the position he’s in feels. he hates, with all his soul, coming off as clingy and needy, but he can’t keep living like this. he’s willing to do anything, say anything, or drop anything he has planned, for you. he ditched people you didn’t like and he practically catered himself to your likes. and what does he get in return? what have you ever done for him?

“I lie for you, baby, i die for you, baby, cry for you, baby, but tell me what you've done for me,”

nakamoto yuta: cheating on you

yuta respects your wishes far after you break up. he respects that you want space, that you don’t want to see him right now, and that you want to move on with your life. what he can’t seem to come to terms with is the feelings of self-hatred he feels when her hands arm holding him, when her lips are kissing him. he can’t seem to shake them, any attempts at trying to move on strengthen the idea in his mind that he’s been refusing to accept: he needs you back.

“but when i touch her, i feel like i’m cheating on you,”

kim doyoung: river

don’t do this, doyoung knows exactly what you’re doing. he can tell that you’re distancing yourself, you’re scared of getting hurt, and that you refuse to just let yourself love him. but something you have to realize is that you’ll see things differently in love. you’ll be scared, but the possibility of forever should outweigh your fears. maybe it’ll take time, but doyoung will help you learn to trust him, to trust yourself, and to let yourself fall. that’s what rivers do, they fall.

“Look, darling don't give up, when the water's rough, where you gonna go? my heart is your home,”

jung jaehyun: mother

jaehyun has mastered the art of being the perfect gentleman, an angel in front of your parents. he sneaks smiles at you at dinner, his ears go adorably red when he’s embarrassed, and his cute dimples are his last resort to charming those resistant to his other charms. but if your mother only knew what happens when she’s not there.

“Please and thank you, everything matters, i’m gonna make sure that she knows i’m the best she's found,”

kim jungwoo: kiss me before i fucking lose my mind

jungwoo hates this. he’s pacing around, he’s fidgety, he’s losing it. he wakes up from nightmares calling out your name, begging you to come back to him. he’s done dealing with this. he refuses to let you go, to let you treat his feelings like they’re unimportant. he wants you, no, needs you to love him back, before he goes insane.

“I won't tell you goodbye, with my love left behind, kiss me before I fucking lose my mind,”

lee minhyung/mark: i won’t tell a soul

this is wrong, this is wrong, this feels so wrong. it’s repeating in his head like a mantra. he knows you can’t keep coming over, that you have someone already that you refuse to break up with. it kind of hurts him, makes him think that your love for him wasn’t as strong as his love for you. but once your hands are on him, lighting up his senses, clouding up his thoughts, only one thing races through his mind: this feels so right.

“Oh, darling, i know you're taken, but something 'bout this just feels so right, oh,”

lee donghyuck/haechan: easier (technically 5sos but still counts)

he’s… conflicted. on one hand, your relationship does have it’s ups, and maybe those were worth fighting for. but on the other hand, those fights were wearing him down, and there’s only so much he can take. he knows a couple things for certain, though. he’s not going to change if he stays. he hates how much he loves you despite the fact he can’t get himself to be a better boyfriend for you. and, the final thing he knows, the once saving grace he has, is that he knows you still want him.

“is it easier to stay? is it easier to go? i don't wanna know, no,”

[mysweetvibees]

TW// grooming, pedophelia.. These are my feelings about cryaotic these past few days.

These past few days I’ve been talking to a lot of people about this whole thing.

If I’m being honest, when I first found out when he posted the video I felt really hurt and betrayed.. This was someone who I had gone to whenever I felt like there was too much going on in my life. I think a lot people felt that way, we all thought that he was this very calm and understanding guy who you can just listen to and have fun while watching his videos...

I’m not gonna lie, I started watching him when I was 14/15... and I was infatuated by him.. I mean can you blame my teenage self for feeling that way about someone who I thought was very charming, funny and calming guy? The thing is tho, during that time I was never active on the fandom was it tumbr or twitter, so I never knew people were talking about this... I honestly wish I knew. If we think about it, we were all kinda vulnerable to him,,, this was someone who we didnt know what he looked like, we only associated him with drawings that probably look nothing like him... and that is fucking terrifying.

To also think that I could have fallen on his trap and be taken advantage of too without me fully realizing it? and honeslty a big fuck you to everyone who is blaming the people who cry hurt specifically. You need to remember, cry was an adult talking to minors!!! you would think “oh but a 15 year old knows what they are doing” they DONT when I was 15 I thought I was mature enough to be doing things adults do... but I wasn’t. it doesnt matter about a law,, 15 year olds are still minors and he shouldn’t have been messing with them.

The first few days I was hurt, but now I’m just angry.. cause how DARE he take advanatge of the people who give him so much support... to people who trusted him and found comfort in him... He broke a lot of people’s trust. He was wrong for making that video without consulting the people he hurt... hes not doing this for redemption... hes doing this so he doesn’t feel guilty anymore, and also the fact that he didnt even stop this behavior years ago.. he kept going 2 days before the video was posted. Not only that.. he talked about it as if it was one mistake.. this is not a mistake this is illegal.

There are so many people defending him because he was suffering of mental illness, but not to break your bubble.. but a lot of us are suffering from it and you don’t see us seeking minors to feel better about ourselves. I can’t even imagine the mental stress and burden these people were going through when talking to him.. again they were MINORS!! M I N O R S!.. you cant excuse his behavior he needs to take accountability.

I learned so much about what was happening behind the scenes, these past few days and I can say I am grossed out and uncomfortable.. He not only played with a bunch of minors, but he also slept with his best friends girlfriend.. how low of a friend do you have to be to do that..and dating someone who was a minor while also cheating on them with other minors... he needs proffessional help and he need to be held accountable.

I can only hope that in whatever video he is planning to make he is more truthful and sincere with his actions. I think at least he owes that to his fanbase... as well as properly taking accountability to everyone he hurt.

As for everyone who was personally hurt by this man, I hope you are able to heal from this, and i wish you nothing but happiness. You didn’t deserved to be taken advantage of and I hope you know that I am on your side.

EDIT: I ALSO WANT TO SAY YOU DONT GET TO FORGIVE CRY!!! ONLY THE PEOPLE HE PERSONALLY HURT CAN TRULY FORGIVE HIM!!!

We don’t have a right to take that from them, yes we are hurt but we can’t say “I forgive you” and forget about what happened, when there are people with wounds still open...