#he may not be the best melee fighter but by god is he the most fashionable one

[thehappiestgolucky]

Fe'gahlicious - Photo Shoot Edition Or "This cat doesn't have an outfit he looks bad in. All bangers"

Also with noble outfit because really its only those stupid trousers that ruin the fit, and an attempt at trying to mimic the Post Ending look for him with in game clothes. There's no double puffy sleeves option and Menalla's clothes is the closest visually to them and obvs hers is not available without mods,,,

[shaakyhaands]

CODVN but (some of) the princes play DND:

How they start playing, idk. Maybe it’s a dare. Maybe it’s a genuine, honest to god attempt from one of the princes to learn more about MC and her habits/hobbies/culture. Imo, Fenn probably did something and of course, the other princes got dragged into it.

Mc: DM

• is the one who introduced the game.

• Teaches the princes how to play

• tortures them when possible.

Toa and Guy:

• Wizards, because MC punked them.

• Convinced them they were the most powerful class at higher levels, neglected to inform them that they start with fuck all health.

• “Here’s this: if you’re so smart, why don’t you play a mundane who has to study magic? Humans play this class all the time, I bet you can’t handle it…”

• “You bet??? YOu BET?? Very well, speak less” *gets hit once, almost dies from 7 points of damage*

• Guy demands the opportunity to change his class, MC responds: “Okay! I’ll let you change your class— and everyone else will get the chance to multi class :)”

Toa: “multi… class?”

MC: “Oh, it’s when you get to reap the benefits of your character occupying two classes at once :)”

Guy grumbles, and falls into a stony silence.

• the two *barely* survive levels 1-3, but somehow they pull through. And suddenly, outside of game, they’ve started acting with a little more respect for those not magically gifted…

Fenn: Paladin.

• Still charisma based, so can still rizz and charm like Fenn is used to.

• But playing as a Paladin also serves as wish fulfillment, because that’s what DND is all about.

• You might be thinking, “A paladin?? But Fenn should be a Bard, it’s so clearly the best fit”. And I get you! But that’s exactly it— Fenn is already a Bard in his real life. Playing as one in game does nothing special for him. There’s no escapism, no fantasy. Here, he can be a knight in shining armor, upstanding and righteous, and all the other things not typically associated with Fenn. All the other things people don’t let him be, that his reputation prevent him from ever really achieving. Here, he can basically role play as Greyson. And honestly, who wouldn’t?

• is the first prince MC introduced the game to

• lowkey gets into it, and eventually does some of his own campaigns :)

Roy: Bard.

• Again, the name of the game is DND Wish Fulfillment. Roy looks up to Guy, who’s attribute is charisma. What class is based on that stat again? BARD. And now, Roy doesn’t have to be morally upstanding and perfect and unsoiled. He gets to be a little shit and enjoy it.

Lynt: I have no idea, NGL, but I’m thinking warlock.

• This is basically a DND joke— if you don’t know, warlocks have like, two spell slots. So if they want to cast more spells, they need to recharge, which is basically some form of rest.

• Don’t let this fool you, warlocks can be fucking BUSTED. Those two/three spell slots, they put them to fucking WORK. But they gotta get their rest in, dawg.

• in this way, they remind me of our sleepy boy. Quietly powerful as hell, but really only fuck around if they HAVE to. Otherwise, they kind of just mind their business.

Rio: Barbarian

• one of the easier classes to start with— and I know they’re ALL just starting, and I love Rio, but he can use the training wheels. Ain’t no shame in that.

• he approaches life in a way that’s very similar to barbarians: in a story, when Toa was telling him he was trying to put too much magic through too small an opening, Rio’s response was “oh, I know what to do! That just means I need to use EVEN MORE magic!” Like, shit, go off king.

• unlike some of the other princes, I don’t think he would be adverse to using melee over magic.

Lance: Rogue/Druid RANGER

• Lance gets to multi class because 1. I’m biased, and 2. I can see arguments for both classes.

• you may be thinking, “but shaaky, he’s the prince of wrath! His kingdom’s main export is mercenaries, ffs. Shouldn’t HE be a barbarian, or at least a fighter?” And again, I hear you! But, you gotta remember the magic words! Say em with me: “DND is wish fulfillment”. Lance fucking HATES how his kingdom is ran. That’s like, 80% of his story. He wouldn’t WANT to play a character built like that. Unless… it was for the people.

• correct me if I’m wrong, but Lance is the only prince who knows what it’s like to be poor. Not just a commoner, like actually destitute. He’s probably the prince with the most street smarts. And lowkey, he’s probably had to steal shit to survive at some point. He 1000% would ace the rogue class, and would probably stun the princes while he did it.

• Lance: “I loot the body”

Toa: “pardon?”

Lance: “I slit the guards throat, he fell over prone. I loot the body, for whatever valuables are on his person.”

MC: “make an investigation check”

Lynt: “…😨”

• Druid is there if he wanted to just fuck around and hang with animals.

• RANGER, oh my GOD ranger is RIGHT THERE, how did I miss that—

• Ranger is basically the flavor you get when you mix rogue and druid together, so it makes sense that it would fit Lance

• the man fucks off to the forest first chance he gets, everytime.

• just give him a bow already— he probably knows how to use it given his Ira background

• it’s the final battle, the other princes are up against the BBEG: Toa and Guy are on the brink of death, Roy and Rio are down, Fenn and Lynt are barely hanging in there— and then out of nowhere, a hissing noise rings out above everybody, followed by a sickening thwa-CHUNK. An arrow has lodged itself smack dab between the BBEG’s eyes, he falls over, dead. From 600 yards away, Lance’s character stands up, says “finally”, and leaves.

Other silly little head canons:

• instead of maps, MC uses magic to generate basically holograms of bosses and character minis.

The holograms move. So when the giant beast bellows, I mean it literally bellows, claws out and spittle flying and everything. More than once have the princes jumped back in their seats, genuinely scared by the images she generated.

Toa, traumatized: “Remember when I said you had no imagination?… I take it back. I take it all back…”

Guy, thinking to himself: if she ever did go evil on us, we’d be fucked…

• MC will call them on it if the princes lapse out of character.

MC will remind them their characters are, in some way very starkly, different from themselves, and for the story, those differences matter.

Guy: “what do you mean, he said he wouldn’t let us past?”

Mc shakes her head, does an accent: “gainst the rules, boy. Can’t be doing that”.

“Against the—?! You will LET ME PAST, you insolent mongrel—”

Mc: “roll to intimidate.”

Guy: “roll?”

Mc: “I’m sure, being a huffy prince of a powerful kingdom and all, demanding stuff usually works for you. But might I remind you, your highness— that you are playing a game. and in this game, your character is a scrawny, bookish sapling of a man who weighs about a third as much as the guard you’re talking to, and is around half his height. Tell me, what’s your charisma modifier?”

Guy frowns, but looks through his character sheet.

Guy: “… negative one?”

MC smiles: “Your character has the charisma of dragon piss filled boot. Which means you need a 16 or higher, otherwise this guard is going to laugh in your face and pat you on the head.”

Guy stares at MC, but says nothing.

Mc: “Now, your wisdom modifier?”

Guy: “what?”

Mc: “your wisdom modifier, what is it?”

He checks his sheet again.

Guy: “… it’s a positive 4.”

Mc: “you’re right, it is. Which is a hell of a lot better than a negative one. So, while it may not be intuitive, you’re going to be much more likely to convince this man to let you through if you utilize a wisdom based approach, as opposed to relying on charisma.”

Toa snorts: “what would you know of wisdom?”

Mc: “might I remind you that being an asshole is not listed as one of your character’s traits? Also, your character is currently otherwised engaged, trying not to die from missing the last step on the staircase. As such, you can’t hear this exchange.”

• Eventually, after getting familiar with the games mechanics, the princes do a campaign where they get isakied to Earth.

MC throws a lot of mundane shit at them, and they absolutely flounder trying to make any sense of it.

Guy: “Peanut butter?? What do you mean he’s allergic to peanut butter, what the devil is that??? Epipen??!”

Lynt, confused: “Almond milk?… how do they…?”

Toa: “I assure the woman that I am not, in fact, “tripping”, as she so claims. The floor is clear and level, and there are no staircases in sight.”

Fenn: “what do you mean he’s 63??? Good Creator, how long are humans lives again? Wasn’t it at least a 1000 years?…”

[ophiliaclement]

okay. someone asked so god help you all.

THE OCT2GANG AS DND CHARACTERS: TEMENOS AND THRONÉ

Naturally, Temenos, as the singular cleric, is quite broad on his clerical abilities - so much so that pinning him down in a single subclass is... tricky. I'll be honest, there's multiple ways to go here. Life, Light and Twilight cleric all fit aspects of his kit (prayer for plenty, sacred effulgence, and moonlight judgement respectively) but neglect the others...

Knowledge domain seems to fit best. less in terms of combat accuracy, but more with him in general. He's quite the detective, so Knowledge's extra skills and languages at level one is helpful. Also makes him bard- ajacent, which would no doubt help with the role of inquisitor. Second, knowledge's given spells included Command and Suggestion, very befitting of his Coerce and Guide path actions.

The channel divinity skills for Knowledge Domain is two skills - Knowledge of the Ages, which allows you to gain a proficiency in one skill or tool, and Read Thoughts, which is also similar enough to his Coerce action.

Finally, Knowledge Domain has Speak With Dead, Scrying, and Visions of the Past. .... I don't know what to tell you guys. Visions of the past is just deadass his true sight ability. look at it.

Personally, I want to make him a Drow. I'm a sucker for characters with dark/light contrasts, and Drow gives not only the Darkness spell (moonlight judgement's blinding effect) but a boost to charisma as well.

Stat-wise I'd prioritise Wisdom and Charisma - backline clerics don't need much Constitution, and we can dump strength. Dexterity is a good third option - he's a sneaky little shit. Intelligence is good too, but it's not immediately needed, as most of it's skill bonuses are supplemented by Knowledge Cleric.

Particular spells I'd pick are as follows:

- Bane (1st level, enchantment)

Whenever a target that fails this saving throw makes an attack roll or a saving throw before the spell ends, the target must roll a d4 and subtract the number rolled.

- Shield of Faith (1st level, abjuration)

A shimmering field appears and surrounds a creature of your choice within range, granting it a +2 bonus to AC for the duration.

- Borrowed Knowledge (2nd level, divination)

You draw on knowledge from spirits of the past. Choose one skill in which you lack proficiency. For the spell's duration, you have proficiency in the chosen skill.

- Death Ward (4th level, abjuration)

The first time the target would drop to 0 hit points as a result of taking damage, the target instead drops to 1 hit point, and the spell ends.

- Guardian of Faith (4th level, conjuration)

Any creature hostile to you that moves to a space within 10 feet of the guardian for the first time on a turn must succeed on a Dexterity saving throw. The creature takes 20 radiant damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one.

- Dawn (5th level, evocation)

The light of dawn shines down on a location you specify within range. Until the spell ends, a 30-foot-radius, 40-foot-high cylinder of bright light glimmers there. This light is sunlight. When the cylinder appears, each creature in it must make a Constitution saving throw, taking 4d10 radiant damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one.

Throné! My lovable little snake. Throné's combat skills are a little tricky to replicate all at once, but I've tried my best.

Firstly, Throné starts with three levels in Fighter. This may seem counter-intuitive, but Action Surge gives her another action in combat, similar to Leave No Trace. Usually I'd leave it there, but I'm tempted to bump her up another level to Battlemaster. Battlemaster gives Throné access to Maneuvers, which allow a bit of in-combat buff-debuff skills, similar to Armor Corrosive and the like. Maneuvers I'd choose are as followed:

- Riposte

When a creature misses you with a melee attack, you can use your reaction and expend one superiority die to make a melee weapon attack against the creature.

- Distracting Strike

When you hit a creature with a weapon attack, you can expend one superiority die to distract the creature, giving your allies an opening. You add the superiority die to the attack's damage roll. The next attack roll against the target by an attacker other than you has advantage if the attack is made before the start of your next turn

- Ambush

When you make a Dexterity (Stealth) check or an initiative roll, you can expend one superiority die and add the die to the roll, provided you aren't incapacitated.

As for the rest of her levels? Rogue, obviously. The Expertise is a must-have for stealth and arguably deception, and the extra speed is very befitting of Throné's playstyle. The way I see it, there are two main paths depending on which part of Throné's skillset you want to build. You can choose either Assassin Rogue, which hits first and hits hard, reminiscent of her Speed-based skills, like Aeber's Reckoning. Or, you can focus on the more magical aspects of her kit, like Disguise and Aversa's Night Darkest Night with Arcane Trickster.

I'm personally siding with arcane trickster. call it personal bias. Arcane Trickster gives her an invisible Mage Hand for extra help in thievery, stronger spells if she's hidden from an enemy, and the ability to steal spells from other casters.

Arcane Trickster spells I'd pick are as followed:

- Friends (cantrip, enchantment)

For the duration, you have advantage on all Charisma checks directed at one creature of your choice that isn't hostile toward you. When the spell ends, the creature realizes that you used magic to influence its mood and becomes hostile toward you.

- Disguise Self (1st level, illusion)

You make yourself – including your clothing, armor, weapons, and other belongings on your person – look different until the spell ends or until you use your action to dismiss it.

- Invisibility (2nd level, illusion)

A creature you touch becomes invisible until the spell ends. Anything the target is wearing or carrying is invisible as long as it is on the target’s person. The spell ends for a target that attacks or casts a spell.

- Shadow Blade (2nd level, illusion)

This magic sword lasts until the spell ends. It counts as a simple melee weapon with which you are proficient. It deals 2d8 psychic damage on a hit and has the finesse, light, and thrown properties (range 20/60). In addition, when you use the sword to attack a target that is in dim light or darkness, you make the attack roll with advantage.

- Fear (3rd level, illusion)

You project a phantasmal image of a creature’s worst fears. Each creature in a 30-foot cone must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw or drop whatever it is holding and become frightened for the duration.

Stats wise, as a rogue you'll want to prioritise Dexterity. Throné seems to have decent Deception and Perception, so Charisma and Wisdom aren't out of the question, but you'll ideally want high Intelligence for the arcane trickster route. Dump strength.

race-wise I'm tempted to say yuan-ti, given her connection to Claude and, well, snakes. Yuan-ti also gives her more inbuilt magic, allowing her the spell Animal Friendship as well as magic resistance and poison immunity which allows for a little survivability (and is just funny if you remember her chapter 2.)

Shadar-Kai elves are also an option, supplying here with resistance to necrotic damage and a magical teleport. again, depends on what theming you want to lean into.

Overall these two compliment eachother quite well mechanically, much like they do in-game! I think I just talked myself into playing another cleric...

I'll be doing this in Crossed Chapter pairs for now to lighten my workload a little.

Part 1 (you are here!) / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4

[slime-stew]

samus cannot approach. she is slow and has poor air mobility and doesn't have the breadth of offensive options like she does neutral or defensive options. samus being reactive at midrange or following up behind missile is about as active as she gets. samus is widely considered a mid tier just barely in the top half of the cast. you can, in spite of this, enjoy playing samus, given the character has a unique playstyle and considering the character may hold special meaning for the player

falco can approach. he has one of the fastest walk speeds and some of the best vertical mobility in the game. he also has some pretty fast lasers that can stuff any possible approach, and let him close the distance. his combo game is likewise some of the best in the game, especially given his frame 1 shine and his lingering 20 frame spike dair (which can combo into each other). falco is widely regarded as a top 5 at worst character, and for much of the game's life was #2. his losing matchups are still considered about 6/4 at worst. falco can play a patient neutral-focused game with lasers, or can go in with flashy combos. you can also sit at the edge of the stage, refusing to approach, jumping away and shooting lasers, making approaching only barely possible. thanks to falco's vertical mobility, he can run away as soon as his opponent is finally within scrapping range, which i will add is still a strong position for falco to be in - even a close range shffl will stuff most options, and allow falco to follow up. you can, in spite of this, enjoy playing falco, given the character has a unique playstyle and considering the character may hold special meaning for the player

and yet, falco is considered the way cooler character. spacie mains will complain that the samus play is unable to approach, and is forced to slowly walk forward, not miss any powershields, maybe shoot a missile, and somehow get in on falco. falco can dictate the pace of the match. being the character with speed (more than samus, anyway) means you are not punished for approaching in any way that matters. even sitting in center stage lasering is still largely active play - you are keeping stage control, standing your ground, and keeping yourself flexible enough to punish poorly spaced moves or to give up space in a disadvantageous position.

so then, begs the question - if you, the top tier with options, choose not to play the game, why do you blame the low tiers for oppressing you? what is a laser if not oppressive stage control? is going across the entire stage in less than a second too slow? what would make you engage with your opponent, the best projectile and dair in the game won't? is there something better outside the game, something intrinsic to playing this way that you enjoy? you seem to complain about lame low tiers - they were not the ones making the choice. a gameplan revolving around not playing the game sounds counterintuitive to the supposed love for the game that spacies have (i would say fastfallers, but many falcons do seem to also enjoy the game). i thought we hated slow, noninteractive campy gameplay, the one so characteristic of those damn low tiers? but it's necessary when falco does it, of course - years of being one of the most popular characters for competitive play (plus the countless players who have successfully gotten into major top 8's with the character, or even won tournaments with him) have shown falco is more than capable at the top level. 2 of the 5 gods played falco, and had drastically different playstyles. falco is versatile in a way many characters can't be. choosing to be lame will always be less respectable than being born lame. what then, drives someone to self sabotage their own enjoyment. could it be for money? probably not, given the track record of melee pot bonuses being barely enough to pay for some late night pancakes and the ride back home. even in fighting games - hell, even in platform fighters, there are games with actual prizepools. so, is it bragging rights? in a game so focused on looking sick with your dope ass schmovement and nutty mindgames, sitting there and shooting your gun until the timer runs out sounds pretty uncool. melee famously banned a few techniques for being uncool as is - ledgegrab limits limit a character like jigglypuff fox or shiek from planking ad infinitum, and wobbling famously turned melee into a 200bpm cutscene. if puff on the ledge and a wobbling pools menace ice climber are killing the game, why are you any different? why are you so much better for choosing a character who sinks like a rock? if it's not to look cool, is it at least for the satisfaction of seeing the win screen, and telling your pools captain that it was a "quick" 2-0? that seems a bit depressing - if you want to see a game! you could queue into unranked as bowser and try to see how fast you can get 10 "wins" in a row. additionally, this inevitably falls apart when you consider the number of netplay falcos sitting by themselves, alone in their room, camping for no ELO and no calculated win. is it that simply chasing a win screen by any means necessary is its own victory? that does admittedly fall apart in ranked but if you're relying on % lead timeouts then you are literally wasting everyone involved's time on the level of puff peach. you could play against a level 1 cpu if you wanted that (they can be pretty tough with their impenetrable jab 1>jab 1 combos, but lasers beat that too).

if you want to play the game, play the game. if you don't want to play the game, that's fine. there are some really cool characters that can not play the game in various intentional and unintentional ways (puff and bowser respectively). but then don't complain that you are being held down. you are holding your own head underwater while complaining that the guy using floaties half a pool away is ruining your fun. fox does this shit too but like everyone knows he's good and laser is slightly less terrible because at least it doesn't do hitstun but he is also definitely very fucking fast which sucks but if you get a hold of him its sooooo fun beating him up. i get no satisfaction from grabbing that dumb bird who has shot me 400 times. i have no lame bones in my body i just don't have any sick ones. i got adhd i can't be sitting around shooting lasers it is mentally painful to do so. i barely even fucking grab and i def dont chaingrab cuz being optimal is for people who win money and if neither of us are winning shit i at least want to have had a good time. go play like happy chaos in strive or some shit you can shoot your gun from far away and instead of silently malding people will actively complain about you. stop pretending you are so cool and epic and full of schmixes. you are unpleasant to fight and like i don't love every matchup but at least when i lose i can be like "okay maybe next time i will throw out a nair when i'm above the platform but to their side" and i can make my little adjustments tailored to how i enjoy fighting in the fighting game. also when people complain that they should have camped harder because they lost playing like that. you lost because you gave up your advantage and all they did was play the game normally and go for safe punishes and whatever. if you are limiting your options you have no leg to stand on. fuck off. play the video game

[oceangenasi]

playtest, level one, nat 20, and dice!

Playtest: What class (or subclass) do you want to try out?

I’ve played almost every class for at least a handful of sessions by now — the only ones I haven’t tried are druid and artificer. But I’m absolutely not interested in playing a druid and probably never will be. Too much to keep track of.... I say as my wizard hits level 12 and nears 150 spells in her spellbook.

I would have liked to develop Oren, my Battle Master Fighter, a bit more. I was looking forward to a very crunchy & strategic melee build — the opposite of my paladin’s reckless & enthusiastic whacking technique. But Oren’s party TPKed after only four levels 😔

I've also got a barbarian that would have been fun to try, but the campaign died out pretty quickly. I may bring her or Oren back next time I have an opportunity to join a new campaign.

~

Level One: What was your first experience with D&D? How did you hear about it? What was your first game like?

I mostly heard about it because my dad got back into 5e and was playing in a game with some family friends every other week! I very briefly played as a cleric at that table during a combat encounter with a dragon, which was technically my first D&D experience.

But also, when summer rolled around, my dad got a group together to play through Lost Mine of Phandelver, when I rolled up my dragonborn Oath of Vengeance paladin and really dove in. That first session involved the goblin-and-wolves encounter from the boxed adventure, and I made my first real character decision as Rion -- to throw a javelin after the one goblin who was trying to escape. Rion's hallmark was that her emotions, especially her anger, frequently drowned out her nominal devotion to the god of mercy. So I felt really good about making a decision in-character that I personally -- and Rion, later -- would find a little morally suspect, because it made sense with her personality.

~

Nat 20: What's the most memorable RP scene you've been a part of?

I've got a lot of treasured moments and can't really pick just one, so I wanna pick a few from some of my favorite campaigns:

Haven -- everything involved in Wormageddon, tbh. I wrote the first half up as a story here and still consider that maybe the best and most interesting session of D&D I've ever played. Although in terms of sheer memorability, the session a few weeks ago where the whole party collaborated to remove a cursed obsidian butt plug from the insides of our tiefling warlock does come to mind.

Basil -- oughghghghgghgh.... Basil trying to kill another PC, which he failed at, and then his attempt to escape, which he also failed at. Super super dramatic, kicked off several hours more of RP while the party visited him in jail. Really grim and emotionally intense, but also turned out to have some of the most surprising character moments I've ever encountered. Basil's life was spared, which neither he nor I had expected, and that set off a whole new character arc for him that I was very excited to explore.

Rosie -- Rosie devising a plot to publicly humiliate and discredit the evil NPC that had been lying to and manipulating the town, and then the execution of that plot. It went spectacularly well, and required the specialized skills of almost everyone in the party. It also was a chance to show off Rosie's mean streak, which takes a lot to trigger.

Fathom -- waking up after his death and discussing the idea of becoming Melora's champion with... Melora herself. He got a sick new arm made of water from it. I wrote about that here!

~

Dice: Do you have any dice rituals? Preferences? Collections? Does such thing as dice luck really exist?

Ahahahahahahaha—

I don't know who you are, anon, but I have to assume you know me, because yeah. I own, as of writing this post, 150 sets of D&D dice. I have so many fun sets -- metal, glass, gemstone, wood, sharp-edge, silicone, you name it.

I keep them in plastic apothecary jars in the front hall of my apartment, sorted by character palette! For example, Haven's jar is mostly pink and gold, with a scattering of rainbow because it suits her messy personality. I haven't taken a proper photo of the palettes in a while, but I'm always happy to show them off to anyone who asks 👀

~

Send me more of these asks please!! The list is here <3

[ruthlesslistener]

Weapon + Fighting Headcanons (Pale Court/Dreamers)

bc I'm gay and I love violence

The Pale King: 99% of the time, he's a spellcaster. His preferred melee weapon, however, is a glaive, followed by a pair of curved twinswords in his bottom set of hands. In the rare cases where he cannot use spells to win a battle, he will typically use the glaive to dispatch enemies at range, only pulling out his curved swords in close quarters or when he needs to jab back an enemy. Truthfully, he is the most skilled melee fighter with fang and claw, but scorns claw-to-claw combat, not in the least because it often ends with him gorging himself on his competitor, a sight most indecent for a king. Very avoidant fighting style, prefers to slowly wear down his victims until they slip up before going all in

The White Lady: Truth be told, there's not many weapons that you need to learn when you're fully capable of simply strangling whatever poor fool crosses your path. When she's feeling up to something a little more challenging than strangulation or spearing, however, she'll craft herself a bow and shoot down enemies with arrows formed of soul for sport. Though her eyesight isn't the best, her roots tangle through the entirety of the kingdom, which means that if you run, it would be very easy for her to sense the vibration of your feet and strike you down from afar. Generally attempts to avoid confrontation, but if she can't ignore or dispel it, she's far faster at dispatching it than her husband

The Hollow Knight/Pure Vessel: we are already far too familiar with their murder methods for me to need to go into detail here. next

Hornet, Daughter of Hallownest: We're semi familiar with how she fights, but the Silksong trailers have me thinking that she went a little easy on us! When she's not facing down one of her kin, I imagine Hornet to be a ruthless, relentless fighter, one who isn't afraid to fight dirty to secure a win (if you consider traps to be a dirty trick, of course, which she doesn't). She fights like a feral animal, fast and quick and focused on survival, but she's not out for blood- if her opponent is injured and yields to her, then she will be honourable and spare them. She fights ruthlessly and dirty because she had no other choice, not because she enjoys the kill (well, once she gets out of the thrill of the hunt, that is)

The Knight/Little Ghost: Their exact fighting style may vary from player to player, but I like to think that there is one thing in common among all Ghosts, which is that they enjoy the challenge of a fight, but mostly do it out of a need to survive. They fight like a feral kitten (if that feral kitten was an undying baby god), and their enjoyment comes strictly out of a sense of whether or not they're learning something from it or if they're simply trying not to die

Monomon the Teacher: if it isn't magical explosions then it's a molotov with the hallownest equivalent of greek fire. god help you.

Herrah the Beast: Wields a greatneedle larger than your future and about ten thousand knives, which aren't used in combat as much as they are reserved for field-dressing your corpse. Unlike her daughter, who uses her silk to launch her weapon at her victim, she'll use her silk as a lasso to snag her victim and drag them closer, where either her needle or her claws will finish them off. She's big, quick, powerful, and smart, with years of experience battling things head-on in pitch-dark tunnels, so your best way of winning a fight against her is to just...not

Lurien the Watcher: Honestly the only thing remotely close to a physical weapon I can see him wielding is a gun, because that's generally how he prefers to go about killing things (in the unfortunate event that he has to kill something, which he really would rather not do most of the time, thank you very much)- in one quick, deadly move. His preferred way to fight is through a battle of the mind, keeping a close watch on his opponent as he attempts to corner them in a game of political chess. When he is pressed to attack, however, he'll try to neutralize his opponent with one quick, powerful spell, typically draining most of his extra soul in the attempt. Or he'll hit them with whatever heavy blunt object is within arm's reach, if the enemy has prepared a counterspell/startled him. Whatever works

[rcksmith]

Nobody else — Five Hargreeves

Requests: “Hello! May I request number nine from the fluff prompts and number seven from the smut prompts for Five? Maybe where the reader is a super skilled fighter, and the other Hargreeves siblings can’t get over how amazing she is, but that causes Five to become a little jealous?”

“Okayy if you're not tired of Five and smuts yet, can I request 18,70,74 and 84 from smut list with fem reader?”

Fluff prompts:

9. “So you're saying that girl is your girlfriend?!" "No, that girl is my wife!”

Smut prompts:

7. “The only way you’re getting off is on my thigh.”

18. “Are you sure? Once we start, i might not be able to stop.”

70. “Maybe I should leave you like this, that way anyone who wanted to use you could have a go with you. Would you like that?”

74. “I think I like you better with a gag in your mouth.”

84. “Let me show you what happens to little brats who don’t follow the rules.”

A/N: We not tolerate any pedophilia here !!

I write about Five with their 20s. I write the same about the characters of Harry Potter.

Thank you for requests💖 I hope you guys like💖I decided to compile these two requests, since they were the same energy and they prompts connect to a central plot. I added all the elements that were asked for individually, and made sure that all ideas were respected and written down. Good reading.

English is not my first language, so I so sorry if have a mistake.

Requests are open. Love you ❤️

Couple: Five Hargreeves / Fem! Reader.

Warnings: explicit smut, dirty talk, bad words, fluff, fight, mention of death, jealousy.

— — — — —

People need each other to find support, comfort and understanding. Thomas Merton said: “Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life alone, but with the other. ”

And as cliché as it was, it was the truth. And that is exactly what happened to you.

It was difficult to explain how many years you had already been killing for the commission. Ever since, maybe? You did not remember a time when that work was not part of your life, your routine, your system. But you could feel, vaguely like a hazy dream, that one day the act of breathing was ... light.

Killing without conscience brought many regrets, and the weight of guilt filled your chest, making it difficult to breathe.

But you were good at that. God, you were very good. Maybe it was the endless years of training, your quick thinking, or the simple fact that you had a lot more physical stamina than the other agents. But, whatever it was, it helped you move up the board quickly.

Murdering with a gun was easy, quick, clean, and there were already many agents who did that job. For someone like you, so empowered, the commission has relocated you to more… arduous and dangerous missions.

Your job was to kill those whose gunshots could not show up at the necropsy. Someone who needed to die without the body revealing what had happened very well.

Shoot JFK? It wasn't with you.

End Hitler? It wasn't your job.

To kill Socrates with your bare hands and make everyone believe it was poison? This is where you came in.

The difference between the jobs was that you had to do the whole process. And a melee interaction instead of a weapon always brought people who wanted to fight for their lives. And that is why the commission chose you to do that, without any partner.

They elected you because you fought like a super soldier, focused on your goal like a robot, and never came back without success. It didn't matter how many fights you had to fight with your target, how many punches you had to throw and also take, or how many injuries you returned. You always won.

Over time, you learned things in practice, tricks that made it easy, scams that would save you effort. You learned to study each person in seconds, find their weaknesses, and use his own strength against them.

That's when you met Five Hargreeves. And Thomas Merton's quote made sense.

You two were so much similar. Both the best in their fields, wrecked in a sea of ​​personal traumas, buried by a job that got the best of you two. You two felt misunderstood, alone in the vastness of that world. And when you two met... well, were no longer alone.

You two got involved, in all possible ways and ways. Loved each other, adored each other, and completed each other. Life went out of automatic mode, and for the first time in a long time, you two managed to breathe lightly. The food now tasted good, the heat of the sun on the skin was now better, and the world... the world was ruled by the red color of love.

So it became the most obvious and coherent decision to you two get married. Five could no longer imagine a life in which you did not exist, and you did not know how the world could go without him.

“I can't believe we did that!” You laughed, astonished, as you entered the apartment that you and Five shared.

You two had just married, something just for you two and the ceremonialist. You two chose something very intimate, reserved. And now the ring on him left hand looked like the most beautiful thing in the world for you.

Five laughed softly, hands moving up your arms, bringing you closer.

“We did. Wife.”

After that, your two contract with the commission changed. Five would only continue to do that if no one dared to touch a hair of yours, and you swore to The Handler that if someone did something to Five, you would destroy that place brick by brick.

Five saw in you a strong and atrocious ocean, which could swallow whole cities only with the force of its fury. And he liked that. He liked having someone as competent and firm as he was. Five liked to know that if there was a disaster, he would not be the only one who would go after a solution.

You were the type who knew that if you wanted things to happen, you had to do it with your bare hands. And Five loved it, because he felt understood. He carried so many responsibilities on his back that it was relieving to find someone who also felt the same things.

Five knew that, when him found way home, you were going with him. And you went. You two exchanged vows that would be together in joy and sadness, in any situation. And if the situation now said to go to 2019, well, you would.

“It makes me so sick, God!” Five heard you say when you two fell out of that blue portal he created.

He would have laughed if his muscles didn't hurt so much. For someone so trained you got sick of his powers very quickly.

"Five?!” And then the voice of one of the brothers was heard.

And that's how you two ended up there. A week later, in the Hargreeves' living room, with Diego swearing that you wouldn't be able to beat him in a fight.

Five laughed against the margarita's straw, sitting comfortably at the bar, giving up on telling his stupid brother that you had already killed much more dangerous people with your bare hands.

“I do not want to hurt you.” You smiled understandingly, and Klaus laughed.

“I bet 50 bucks that she beats your ass, Diego.” It was only logical that he was going to encourage his brother to fall.

“There is no way you can hurt me.” Diego guaranteed, getting up and starting to push the sofa away, making room for a fight.

“Are you up for it or are you scared?” He played with you, and Five laughter it back there, having a lot of fun.

“This is ridiculous, Diego.” Allison stressed, but it was obvious that she wanted to watch too.

You smirked, getting up from the bar chair next to Five. You didn't want to defeat your husband's brother in that fight, you understood that the circumstances between the two of you were not fair.

You were created to kill, injure and decimate. Body wrestling was your job and it wouldn't be fair to Diego. You knew, from Five, that the Hargreeves were created to be heroes. Saviors of the motherland. Hurt and kill if necessary, but don't make it a goal.

But not with you. Killing was your goal, always. And your weapon was not super powers or pistols, but the body itself.

“Okay.” You laughed and went to the circle that Diego had made “But I don't want to hurt you. The first one to fall to the ground loses.” You were trying to be peaceful.

Diego agreed, giving him a friendly smile before saying:

“But I will use my knives to distract you.”

It was logical that he wouldn't make it cheap and easy, even if it was for himself, you knew that.

So you agreed, took off the suit you were wearing and rolled up the sleeves of your white dress shirt, while the Hargeeves sat in a safe area, away from that makeshift ring.

Diego delivered the first blow, and you just deflected the trunk, taking him by the same arm and twisting it against his back. At that moment, if it was something for real, you would put more strength to break the bone, but you didn't want to hurt him, so you just released Diego with a little push forward.

Diego turned to face you again, the naughty smile on the face of someone who knows his own potential. He was very good, you knew that, but the different upbringing made you a better opponent.

This time, the blow came from below. It was a trip that you jumped while pulling on the fist he used to land another blow in the same second, forcing him to come forward with force while you deflecting once more. Diego staggered forward, steadying himself on the floor once again.

It was all absurdly fast, as if you were a robot. A machine programs for that.

Diego hurled the knife in the wind while attacking with his other fist. You dodged again, but this time you struck back, slamming a blow down the side of your stomach, blocking his attack with your other arm and unleashing a kick in the chest, which made Diego stagger backward.

In a matter of seconds, the knife was at the end of its course. And while Diego was advancing again, the wind that the knife was making hit your hair. But the knife didn't finish course. You stopped the blade with your hand, holding to the object with your palm.

At that moment, you saw Diego's eyes falter. And a surprised gasp by the Hargreeves graces the ambience. Then it was your turn to attack. You threw the knife on the floor, driving the blade into the wooden floor as you went.

There were punches, deflected blows, creeps. The two of you were dancing to an agitated song, which was reaching its climax.

Diego had holding you in him arms, and you turned your body, locked him left arm in your hands while you used the momentum to propel your legs up, past his neck and turning, taking you both to the floor. He fell on his back while you used your own momentum to balance yourself, standing upright.

“YES! YOU OWM ME 50 DOLLARS!" Klaus's voice was heard.

You laughed, and you were about to walk away when Diego dug his left hand into your heel. He pulled you in a single stroke, and it made you fall, your back hitting the ground as he took the lead. Diego put his legs on your hips the first second you fell on the floor, and he used his own strength to keep you there.

You laughed out loud, and so did he.

“This is cheating!” You scolded him, punching him in the chest.

“Whatever, but you had to fall too!”

Diego was a good loser, you recognized that by the intonation of the voice. He was not possessed or reviled because you won, but he wanted it to be an eye for an eye, even if only as a joke.

But as soon as Diego got up off you, holding your hand for you got up too, your eyes went to Five. And you found the green irises burning in an atrocious fire. You frowned, not understanding, but you didn't have time to go over there and ask what happened. Klaus and Luther came to you and Diego.

Klaus charging his brother and Luther asking you how you did that final blow.

“It's for me to use when he pisses me off!” Luther looked directly at his brother in a silent threat “ But he will not get up alive!”

“Fuck you” Diego said before practically shoving 50 dollars in Klaus's face.

“Is easy.” You replied Luther “I'll show you."

But while the brothers were having fun, marveling at you, Five burned in a visseral cholera.

Wasn't it enough for Diego to have literally been on top of you, you had to want to teach that stupid gorilla too ?!

Oh fucking no!

When Diego went to Luther and started explaining with you, him your side, how the scam worked, Five was exploding. Now that stupid men butcher knife would be on your side?! Agreeing and explaining whit you as if it were your husband?!

Wasn't it enough just fucking being on top of you?!

Definitely fuck not!

“Take it easy, buddy.” Klaus appeared beside him “You are looking at them as if you want to kill someone.”

Five just snarled, not bothering to respond, his eyes never leaving you.

“Wait..." Klaus looked better at who Five was staring “Are you jealous of Y/n ?!” He was amazed.

“Shut up!” Five forced himself to swallow a handful of margarita.

“Oh my God!” And he wouldn’t stop “You like her! That must be why you live in a bad mood! You must be in the friend zone! ”

“Didn't I tell you to shut up already ?!” Five looked deathly at his brother “And I'm not in the friend zone with her.”

But Five realized that he gaved too much information to his brother, because now Klaus's face was opening in a shocked smile.

Goddam!

“So you're saying that girl is your girlfriend ?!" Klaus was loving the situation.

But, out of the corner of his eye, Five can see Diego holding your arm, showing Luther the place to deliver any stupid blow.

You gotta be fucking kidding!

“No, that girl is my wife!” Five tapped the margarita glass on the counter, teleporting to you and pushing Diego's hand off your arm, replacing his own.

“The show over!” He growled as he left the room, pulling you with him, your feet stumbling a few times before picking up the pace.

“Five!” You said, but he didn't seem to hear.

The image of Diego's legs at your fucking waist, the body sitting on you, the hand on your arm, rewound Five's mind like a curse. He felt his anger inflate, jealousy whispering in the back of his neck like a little devil, making him see the situation bigger than it really was.

You called him again, but for Five, it was like you called his brother's name. And then he exploded in his own fury.

He couldn't wait to go up all those stupid stairs, all those corridors, Five just pulled you against him, disappearing in the blue flash and reappearing in the his room.

“You are crazy?” You pulled the wrist out of his grip.

“I should be asking you that!” He said “Did you see that scene ?!”

“What a scene?” You frowned.

Five focused his eyes on you, in angry energy.

“Diego on top of you, fuck!" He snarled “Luther drooling like a dog on you!”

“Five.” You thought all that was absurd “They are your brothers!”

“You have no idea how much i don’t give a fuck!”

The situation was ridiculous, and you ended up laughing in disbelief and bewilderment.

“We were fighting!” You defended yourself "Nobody was drooling on me!"

“I swear to god tha ...” Five walked over to you, his eyes flooded with rage, his body enveloped in that intense and explosive energy.

You lifted chin to get a better look, your chest stuck to him, Five's breath hitting the top of your nose. That week had been full of emotions and issues to deal with, 24 hours being insufficient to do everything, explain everything. And, well, you and Five didn't have much time alone...

All of this compiled with the fact that your husband possessed the beauty of an angry god,and that excited you so fuck absurdly.

Suddenly, the air in the room became caustic, seething with the expectation of something improper happening, injecting heat into your chest that descended to the middle of your legs.

You sighed softly, and Five immediately noticed the waters where your thoughts were sailing.

“Does it turn you on?” His voice was hoars “See me angry?”

The sigh you gave was your whistleblower, your chest started to rise and fall more breathlessly than usual, your core starting to pulse. You wouldn't be able to say anything even your life would depended it, you drowning in the malicious and hot climate of that room, compiled with the absurd beauty and intensity of the adult in front of you.

God, you needed him!

“Yes, you like.” Five had an arrogant, boastful tone, mocking how sensitive you were.

But his eyes took on a more conscious tone, and he whispered as he said: "Are you sure? Once we start, I might not be able to stop. ”

Five knew his own limits, his own anger, his own strength. If he touched you now, in most simple, he wouldn't be able to stop. You agreed, hands moving gently up his body, resting on him hips.

“I will not be gentle.” Five wanted to you know again.

He had already fucked you hard, drowned in insatiable desire, marking your skin with slaps, hickeys. Five had already mistreated your mouth, made you scream. But never fucked you in anger. He never took his anger out on you. And now, submerged in jealousy, he knew how much strength he would discharge on you.

“I don't want it to be.” But you gave Five the go-ahead on a needy sigh, your fingers running around his waist.

Five dropped his mouth to your ear, tracing a path across your skin with warm lips, now bringing hands up to your skin, feeling how hot, needy you were.

“You're wet and I haven't even touched you yet.” His words hung over you like a warm warning of what was going to happen, what to expect.

You moaned softly, your body shivering, screaming for you to get more, seeking some friction, some contact. Then, as if Five read you thoughts, his left hand clung fiercely to the back of your neck, curling him fingers in your hair.

He forced you to look at him, watching the rage and the extraordinary lust.

“Let me show you what happens to little brats who don’t follow the rules.”

Five left you brutally, telling you to take off all your clothes, watching all your movements while he got rid of the shirt himself. He left him tie beside the bed, sitting on the mattress and pulling you onto him lap as soon as you finally got naked. He fit thigh in the middle of your legs, making you sit on his thigh.

You groaned, the friction in the place you most wanted, the core pulsing against the dark cloth of him pants. You rummaged your hips for more than you wanted, but Five dropped his hand on your ass, releasing a loud, stinging slap. The groan was unable to be controlled, and you buried your face in the curve of him neck, sobbing there.

“You will be grateful for every slap I give you, do you understand?” He snarled, fingers tightening on your flesh, marking your skin.

You agreed, and thanked him when Five slapped your ass harder. This time, he moved him thigh beneath you, brushing your pulsating core, leaving you in an extremely needy state.

“Fi-five!" A sob escaped, followed by another thanks when a slap hit your in ass again.

Five's hands roughly grabbed your waist, holding you firmly in place as he started to rummage in him thigh, making you moan louder every second. That was torture. You pulsed and wet him thigh, your body rigid from wanting more of that friction, the sobs escaping your lips, the muscles contracted.

“Such a needy slut." He snarled in your ear “So desperate for my thigh.”

You groaned at him words, your fingers around him shoulders, squeezing there while Five took you so badly in him thigh. He dropped his mouth to your hot neck, pouring a hickey there before sighing hoarsely:

“The only way you're getting off is on my thigh."

It sent electric currents to your swollen core, and moans got even bigger when Five increased the speed of his movements, rubbing your clitoris in those mind-boggling movements. His strong grip, compiled wheezing on his neck, his hoarse voice and the movements of his thigh took you to the limit. And you were pushed into that abyss of the climax.

“So fucking quickly.” Five delighted, in a groan, and stuck his hands on your back, holding you there, turning you in one movement to the bed.

Your back hit the mattress, Five’s warm hands roamed your legs, squeezing thighs and parting them, exposing your wet, red core at the climax. Five groaned loudly, as if seeing you hurt physically, and he took his hands off you to grab the tie next to you.

“Be good and open your mouth for me.” You obeyed, and he wiped the cloth over there, fastening his tie.

You sighed brokenly, your heart beating fast, breasts stiff and sore, your ass burning with slaps, core sensitive to climax.

“I think I like you better with a gag in your mouth." Five reflected, him hands roaming your trembling body, squeezing every bit of skin, reveling in how your skin felt at him touch.

Five reveled in the breath you took, enjoying how you looked like a fucking goddess like that. So vulnerable, so needy, so needy.

He was controlling himself until now, pushing you to the limit, making you sensitive, teasing you, making you sensitive to what was coming. Him smile was purely lustful, and Five leaned toward you, roughly sucking the nipple from your breast, nibbling at the needy skin. Then he brought hands up to his pants, opening his belt and zipper, pulling the pieces down far enough for his dick to pop out.

The moan you gave when you felt the hot, luscious member on your thigh was enough to inflate him ego even more. Five turned your body down, pulling your waist up, leaning into your ear to whisper:

“I'm going to fuck you so hard that you'll never forget that day.” Then he entered you, rough, strong, badly.

He forced your walls to get used to him size and sank to the bottom of the well, clutching his hands to your hips and pulling you against him dick. You screamed against the tie, pressing your fingers to the pillows, sobbing when Five set a fierce, wild and badly pace, mistreating every inch of you.

One of him hands went to your neck, closing his fingers there and pouring out all the fury and jealousy he felt in the thrusts, going in as deep as he could and pushing your limit. The pornographic sounds of the two of you moaning, the sound of his hip hitting your ass, invaded the room, mixing with the smell of sex, lust and hunger.

You shouted him name when Five left and brutally entered you, making you choke on your own sobs.

“What's it? Are you unaccustomed to my dick?” He tasted it, leaving your neck to slap your ass aggressively “Is it too much for you?”

You sobbed, stopped by the tie, and Five hit you again.

“Do you think someone can fuck you like me?!”

Now him voice was angry and his movements too. Five fucked you like he had spent his whole life in fury at you, waiting patiently for the day when he would discount everything on you. Him hand went to your mouth, pulling tie from there and releasing your toxic moans.

“Answer me, fuck!” One more slap, leaving your ass on fire.

“N-no!” You cried “Nobody ... no-nobody fucks me like you!”

You talks with a more thrust, and Five pushed your chest to the bed, keeping his hand on your back, him moans mixing with your.

Then he reached the peak of anger.

Five came out of you, turned you up and bent your legs, placing your knees on your shoulders. He entered in a brutal way inside you, the new position making him occupy all the minimum vacant spaces. You screamed, tears welling up in your eyes, your hands tightening on his arms, your heart already racing.

It was too much. Your body begged for more, for the climax, for the lust, for anything fierce that Five could give you. He dropped his mouth on yours, biting your bottom lip instead of kissing you, making you swallow his lines when he said:

“Maybe I should leave you like this, that way anyone who wanted to use you could have a go with you. Would you like that? ”

You desperately denied it. Five could very well come out of you and not let you come, and just that thought made your body tremble and tears flow.

“Plea-Please!” You sobbed “I beg you!”

That did things with Five. He stuck his body to your, him arm going around your waist and fucking you as if that could chase away all his anger. This time he kissed you, sticking his lips to yours as he felt you pulse around him and break up in a hushed scream, trembling at the climax.

Five did not falter, his black hair clinging to his forehead with sweat, his heart pounding. He cum strongly inside your core, filling you with hot cum. You groaned, wrapping your arms around his neck, deepening the kiss as he came inside of you, slowly calming down.

The two of you sighed, the room flooding with the smell of sex and desire, your hearts thudding at the same pace. You whimpered in his mouth, and when Five want to leave inside you, you denied it, tightening your legs around him waist.

“N-No.” You moaned softly, "Stay inside, please."

Five drew air through his teeth, him hands gripping the sides of your body, stirring inside you, beginning to feel the lust rising.

He kissed you again, whispering:

“You want to have a child of mine, don't you?" It was an arrogant, provocative voice, and you sighed. “You are such a fucking sensitive little thing.”

Then Five started moving again, and you stayed in that room for much longer.

[nerdythebard]

#18: Ares, God of War

WE RIDE AT DAWN, GODS AND GODDESSES!

Ekhm... Okay, maybe not. But we continue our trek through Greek mythology, as we face the fury and battle prowess of Ares. The most impulsive member of the Greek pantheon, the Lord of Battle personified the more animalistic and primal side of conflicts. He's the destroyer, the brute, the defender. HE'S THE ONE WHO KNOCKS!

Next Time: The Aro/Ace above all Aro/Aces! This Huntress embodies the Bows Before Bros idea.

Now, let's see what we need to be the chosen of the Indestructible Ares:

Get Over Here!: Two of Ares's abilities in SMITE relate to him preventing the enemy from escaping his wrath. Chains that extend from his shield can deal damage, hinder the enemy's movement, and do the best impression of Scorpion from Mortal Kombat.

Grill Master: Ares's shield deals heavy fire damage to all enemies before it. It also serves as both the great source of protection and bolsters the allies' defences.

High Crowd Control, High Defence: In SMITE Ares is a Melee Physical Guardian, he uses his chains to control the enemy team's position, and protects his teammates, letting them safely join the fray themselves.

---

I know what you're thinking. We're going Aasimar once again because of gods and the spark of divinity. To which I say HA! No! Time to step out of our comfort zone, and for somebody as intimidating and massive as Ares, we gotta go with Goliath. As you might expect, these hulking humanoids get a +2 Strength and +1 Constitution, but also proficiency in Athletics, resistance to cold damage, and our carrying capacity counts as one size larger when it comes to lifting, pushing, or dragging. We know how to speak Common and Giant, and we get the Stone's Endurance feat: once per short or long rest when we take damage, we can use a reaction to reduce the amount of damage by [1d12 + our Constitution modifier].

We will modify the Mercenary Veteran background, replacing proficiency in Athletics and Persuasion with Intimidation and Perception. We also get proficiency with one gaming set and land vehicles, and we get the Mercenary Life feature; we can recognize mercenary groups by their insignia, know the inner workings of the profession, and we can find the tavern or festhall where mercenaries would most often reside.

ABILITY SCORES

We'll start with Constitution; if we can't take a hit, we won't be able to dish out a hit. Strength is next, our attacks need to be heavy and feared. Follow that up with Dexterity, for better use of armour. Ares is not the quick-and-nimble type of fighter, so this one is on the lower high end.

Charisma is next, we may be a war-loving knucklehead, but we did manage to have an affair with the Goddess of Beauty herself. Wisdom will be next, we do have some common sense to not charge dick-first into enemy territory (Athena's lessons probably pay off). Finally, we're dumping Intelligence - academics were never for us.

CLASS

Many of you would probably suggest going Fighter or Barbarian with Ares. However, to channel the might of Olympus and become the general of the divine host, we need to get some of that holy magic in us. We're going Paladin, start-to-finish.

Paladins begin with d10 Hit Dice and [10 + Constitution modifier] initial Hit Points. We also get proficiency with light armour, medium armour, heavy armour, shields, simple weapons, and martial weapons. Ares in the picture is definitely a heavy armour type, so I'll suggest going with a plate armour (making our AC 18 and giving us a disadvantage on Stealth checks) and a longsword plus a shield. We don't get any tool proficiencies, our saving throws are Wisdom and Charisma, and we get to pick two class skills (Persuasion and Medicine).

Level 1: We start with Divine Sense. Using our action, we can detect the presence of celestials, fiends, or undead within 60 feet of us, provided they're not behind a full cover. We can also sense consecrated and desecrated objects. We also get the Lay on Hands feature. We have a pool of healing energy equal to [our Paladin level x5]. As an action, we draw from the pool and restore Hit Points to one creature we touch. Alternatively, we can spend 5 healing points to cure one disease or neutralize one poison. Healing doesn't work on constructs and undead. Level 2: Starting at this level, we learn Divine Smite. Whenever we hit a creature with a melee weapon attack, we can spend one spell slot to deal extra radiant damage (2d8 for a 1st-level spell slot, +1d8 for a spell slot level above, to a maximum of 5d8). If the target is a fiend or an undead, it receives extra 1d8 radiant damage. We also get to pick a Fighting Style. For Ares, who is a Guardian in SMITE, let's choose Protection: when a creature we see attacks a target within 5 feet of us, we can use our reaction to impose a disadvantage on the attack as long as we're wearing a shield.

At this level, Paladins also unlock Spellcasting. Charisma is their spellcasting ability and much like Rangers, they don't know cantrips or rituals. We start with two 1st-level spell slots and we can prepare [our Charisma modifier + half of our Paladin level rounded down] spells per day:

Heroism imbues one creature we touch with bravery for 1 minute (concentration). Until the spell ends, the creature is immune to being frightened and gains Temporary Hit Points equal to our spellcasting modifier. Time to pull your best drill sergeant impression.

Searing Smite lasts for 1 minute (concentration). While it's active, the next time we hit a target with a melee attack, the weapon deals extra 1d6 fire damage. Until the spell ends, the target must make a Constitution saving throw at the end of its every turn or take 1d6 fire damage. Succeeding on the save ends the spell.

Level 3: With Divine Health, we are henceforth immune to all disease. We also get to pick our subclass, our Sacred Oath. Since Ares is the Lord of Battle, Subjugator of Enemies, and the Unbreakable War-God, we shall pick the Oath of Conquest. We start with some extra Oath Spells, which we always have prepared and they don't count against the number of spells we can prepare:

Armour of Agathys covers our body in spectral frost for 1 hour (ask your DM if it can be replaced by embers to better fit Ares). We gain 5 Temporary Hit Points for the duration. If a creature hits us while we have the THP, they take 5 points of cold damage (fire?). The THP and damage increase if we use spell slots higher than 1st-level.

Command lets us speak a one-word order to a creature within 60 feet of us. The target must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw or follow the command on its next turn. The spell doesn't affect the undead.

We also gain access to Channel Divinity, usually reserved for Clerics. Once per short or long rest, we can use one of the following effects:

Conquering Presence: As an action, we can force a Wisdom saving throw upon all creatures within 30 feet of us that we can see. On a failed saving throw, the creatures are frightened for 1 minute. They can make saving throws at the end of their turns to shake off the effect.

Guided Strike: When we make an attack, we can add +10 to our attack roll. We make this decision after we roll, but not before the DM announces whether or not the attack hits.

Level 4: Time for our first Ability Score Improvement. Let's put one point into Strength and one into Constitution.

We also get another 1st-level spell: Shield of Faith grants a +2 bonus to AC to one creature within 60 feet of us for 10 minutes (concentration).

Level 5: We gain Extra Attack. Now, we can make two strikes instead of one when we choose to Attack on our turn.

We also unlock 2nd-level spell slots, and get two new spells from our subclass:

Hold Person targets one creature within 60 feet of us and forces it to make a Wisdom saving throw. On a failed save, the creature is paralysed for 1 minute (concentration). The creature can keep making saving throws to shake off the effect. Feel free to flavour it as spectral chains restraining the target.

Spiritual Weapon creates a spectral weapon within 60 feet of us. The spell lasts for 1 minute, and on our turn, we can make a melee spell attack that deals [1d8 + our spellcasting modifier] force damage.

Level 6: We gain our first aura: Aura of Protection. Whenever we (or a friendly creature within 10 feet of us) must make a saving throw, we gain a bonus to the saving throw equal to our Charisma modifier.

We also gain another 2nd-level spell: Magic Weapon turns one non-magical weapon into a magical one for the purpose of overcoming resistances and immunities for 1 hour (concentration). The weapon gains a +1 bonus to attack and damage rolls.

Level 7: Time to get another subclass upgrade. Aura of Conquest further enhances our intimidation skills. When a creature that's frightened of us is within the aura's range (10 feet of us), its movement speed is reduced to 0 and it suffers psychic damage equal to our Paladin level each time it ends its turn within the aura.

Level 8: Time for another ASI! Let's get those combat abilities even higher, by putting one point in Strength and one into Constitution again.

At this level, we can pick another 2nd-level spell: Aid bolsters allies with toughness and resolve. We can pick up to three allies within 30 feet of us and increase their current and Maximum Hit Points by 5 for 8 hours.

Level 9: We don't get any Paladin features, but we do unlock 3rd-level spell slots and we get two spells thanks to our Oath:

Bestow Curse applies a disadvantage onto one creature you touch (that fails its Wisdom save) for 1 minute (concentration). Until the spell ends, the target suffers one of the following effects:

Choose one ability score. The target has a disadvantage on ability checks and saving throws made with that ability score.

The target has a disadvantage on attack rolls against us.

The target must make a Wisdom saving throw at the start of each of its turns. If it fails, it wastes its action that turn doing nothing.

Our attacks and spells deal an extra 1d8 necrotic damage to the target.

Fear projects an illusion of the target's worst fears. Each creature within a 30-foot cone must make a Wisdom saving throw or drop whatever it is holding and become frightened for the duration (1 minute, concentration).

Level 10: Halfway through the build, and we get another aura effect. Thanks to Aura of Courage, friendly creatures within 10 feet of us (including ourselves) are immune to being frightened while inside the aura and if conscious.

We can also pick a 3rd-level spell: Dispel Magic targets one creature, objects, of magical effect within 120 feet. Any spell of level 3 or lower immediately ends. For spells of 4th-level and higher, we must make a spellcasting ability check against the DC equal to [10 + the spell's level].

Level 11: At this level, we improve our Divine Smite. Whenever we hit a creature with a melee weapon attack, we deal extra 1d8 radiant damage.

Level 12: For our next ASI, we finally cap our Strength at 20 for the maximum amount of sword damage.

We also get another 3rd-level spell: Aura of Vitality lasts for 1 minute (concentration) and stretches for 30 feet from us. Until the spell ends, we can use a bonus action to restore 2d6 Hit Points of one creature within the aura.

Level 13: We unlock 4th-level spells, and we get two of those from our subclass:

Dominate Beast beguiles one beast within 60 feet of us. It must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw or be charmed by us for 1 minute (concentration). While the creature is charmed, we have a telepathic link established with it and we can issue commands for it to follow.

Stoneskin hardens our skin and gives us resistance to non-magical bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing damage for 1 hour (concentration).

Level 14: With Cleansing Touch we can use our action to end a spell effect on ourselves or one willing creature we touch.

Here, we can also get another 4th-level spell: Staggering Smite makes our melee attacks break both the body and the spirit of our enemy. For 1 minute (concentration), whenever we hit a creature with a melee weapon attack, we deal extra 4d6 psychic damage. The target must then succeed on a Wisdom saving throw or have a disadvantage on attack rolls and ability checks (and can't take reaction) until the end of its next turn.

Level 15: Time to get another subclass upgrade. Scornful Rebuke punishes anyone that dares to attack us. Whenever we're hit by an attack, the attacker suffers psychic damage equal to our Charisma modifier (if we're not incapacitated).

Level 16: Another ASI! This time, let's get two points into our Charisma, as it seems to be the ability that's slowly coming more and more into play.

Let's also pick another 4th-level spell: Death Ward tells our soldiers it's not their time yet. A creature we touch is protected from death for 8 hours. If their Hit Points are reduced to 0 while the spell is active, they return to life immediately with 1 Hit Point and the spell ends. This spell also protects against instant-kill effects (such as Power Word: Kill).

Level 17: We unlock 5th-level spells, and we get the last two from our subclass list:

Cloudkill creates a 20-foot-radius sphere of toxic smoke centred on a point within 120 feet of us for 10 minutes (concentration). Until the spell ends, each creature that enters the sphere, or ends its turn there, must succeed on a Constitution saving throw or take 5d8 poison damage (half damage on a successful save).

Dominate Person works in the same way as the Dominate Beast spell we got at level 13, except it affects only humanoids.

Level 18: At this level, the range of all of our passive auras (i.e. those not coming from spells) increase to 30 feet.

We also get another 5th-level spell: with Destructive Wave, we can strike the ground and cause a burst of divine energy to ripple from the ground and travel in a 30-foot radius from us. Each creature within range must succeed on a Constitution saving throw or take 5d6 thunder damage, 5d6 radiant/necrotic damage (our choice), and be knocked prone (half damage on a successful save, and no knockdown).

Level 19: We get our final ASI of the build. Let's cap our Constitution to 20, for even greater Hit Points.

Level 20: Our build capstone is Paladin 20, and we end this with a final subclass upgrade: Invincible Conqueror. Remember the final battle of the first God of War, with Giant Ares? Well, there we go. Once per long rest, for 1 minute:

we are resistant to all forms of damage;

when we Attack, we can make another attack as a part of that same action (I'd allow making three attacks, because of our Extra Attack feature);

our melee weapon scores a Critical Hit on a 19 and a 20.

We also get the final spell of the build: Holy Weapon lasts for 1 hour (concentration) and blesses our weapon with divine power. For the duration, the weapon sheds bright light for 30 feet (and dim one for another 30), and each attack deals extra 2d8 radiant damage. The weapon also becomes magical for the purpose of overcoming resistances. We can also choose to end the spell early and cause a burst of radiance to deal 4d8 radiant damage and blind all creatures within 30 feet of us that fail a Constitution saving throw.

---

And there we have Kratos Ares. Let's see what we came up with:

First of all, we're a tanking and protecting beast. 20 in Strength and 20 in Constitution means we're good in the frontline, in the backline, and with our auras and Protection fighting style we make sure our party members survive tougher encounters (yes, even the Wizard).

Our AC is 20 (heavy armour + shield), we have a +1 to our Initiative, and 189 Hit Points on average.

Although we do have access to spellcasting, our magic repertoire isn't great. Most of our spells require concentration, and our spellcasting ability score isn't great. We're also very vulnerable to Intelligence saving throws.

---

Okay, there we go. Hopefully, you enjoyed the ride with this powerhouse god, and you'll see me for the next one!

- Nerdy out!

[technomaestro]

Oh? Tell us about the characters on that list then

*slaps character sheet* this bad boy can fit so much of my own repressed trauma in it

This one could be fuckin *all* of them, but it's probably Kelarvia Arana, aka Kel. Poor dwarven fighter exile from Orzamar who turned to the Qun, was trained wrong as a spy, failed her family, failed the qun, failed her friends, and kept trying to do right. She was... not bright. She took a face full of acid breath for her troubles, got repeatedly stabbed by everyone around her, and still kept fucking trying. She was not in a great place by the end of that campaign.

Closeted Trans Person Gender Envy Character™

So, while I'm very much cis, I did toy around with the idea of genderfluidity and transness at one point. And the closest character to that would have been a major NPC that I had in my pokemon game, Claire deVire. She was a literal illusionist / Fairy Type mage, and honestly one of my favorite NPCs to use in the game. I played her as a confident and experienced trainer who had an air of mystery, was clever and flirtatious, and who had a very accomplished team including trans icon Sylveon. She is/was one of the main *villains* of the campaign, but that's besides the point. If I was a girl, she's who I'd want to be - but I'm pretty solid in my gender at this point.

sexy

That would be Lucas Maignard, the Silver Lion. Not just your average silver fox, but a nobleman who absolutely could rock it. Think Rollo from Vikings except salt and pepper hair. He was power hungry, a staunch revanchist of his family's ancestral title and he would go to every length it took to reclaim it, including trying to seduce the King's consort. He, notably, caused at least one if not more international incidents by insulting the soccer abilities of a neighboring kingdom.

He may have had the highest charisma of any character I've played.

idealized version of myself

Allow me to introduce you to Broderic Gullet, a 6'6 tall constantly drunken scotsman Barbarian with a hammer who was unkillable. Literally - he actually died at one point and came back to life because he was too damn stubborn to leave before his friends had gotten to safety, and some passing spirit possessed him and turned him into an abomination. He was jovial, friendly, could talk to his cat Mr. Pickles, and wonderfully buff enough he could hug all his friends at once. Plus he was a trained chef.

As Fruity And Extra As Possible

Oh this is easy. The Satyr Diplomat Cheldric delWolpertinger, a man who *honestly* should have read the recommended reading before being sent to deliver very important documents (these were actually talking frogs!). He was supposed to board a new train on the mountainous passage to Westport, but forgot his ticket. When the train left, he literally jumped (and I mean I cast "jump" and specifically was a Satyr for their Mirthful Leaps feature which adds 1d8 to my jump distance) onto the back of the train. Unfortunately, the murder of the conductor was a bit of an issue, but Cheldric and some other passengers put their heads together to solve the mystery.

furry

So, allow me to set the stage for Albie, Traitor to Crowkind. A Kenku that was as much benefit to the party as he was walking, curse triggering hazard, this absolute buffoon would do what he could to simultaneously help the party while also doing his best not to piss of Strahd too much. A lighting bolt cast into the middle of melee that hit everyone totally gives him plausible deniability for who survives.

I think my favorite memory though is when one of the other party members just opened his beak and he started reciting the Book of Strahd like Stitch plays that record in Lilo & Stitch

A good runner up here would also be Nilbo, a Kobold Druid who only became a druid because it let him wild shape into progressively bigger lizards and dinosaurs. No other animals, just scales.

I Saw One Of The Extra Fantasy Races That Aren’t In The Player’s Handbook And Almost Had A Stroke

Listen. Listen to me. I fucking love Warforged. I will *always* go to bat for magical robots. They're amazing and I've played so many, from psions to storm domain clerics to the most recent one, Hymn, a gender-neutral Celestial Pact Warlock Warforged who got his abilities because he was a socialist. No, I'm not joking - he was made for usage by the Church of the Sovereign Host, but when a wandering heretical priest came by wondering why the church didn't do more, Hymn started going out at night to perform direct action and mutual aid. Being not that smart, he accidentally wandered into a cult's base and released a captive celestial, who gifted him the power to help more.

a race + class that typically would not go together

I'm of a tossup here - the Halfling Artificer Posco Harfoot, who was a member of the Justicars and in order to even the playing field, built himself a goddamn magitek mech in order to go toe to toe with the other peacekeepers, or of Tiberius Vanderwhinn, an elven Path of the Zealot barbarian who was *extremely* keen on getting his libraries late fees sorted, and gods help you if you dared shout in his library.

sexy criminal

Very few things are sexier than a tiefling, and that would be Boreo Lieran, the Tiefling Bard. Boreo was a staunch contender for the "As fruity as possible" but this pansexual beast is much more in line here because the man seduced half the party prior to or during session 1. Having a prehensile tail and the ability to pick up the gnome lass in the party by it for him to tease probably helped.

Of course, such a man was hilariously illegal, because not only did he smuggle and steal like, 90% of his luxury goods that he used to pamper himself with, he would absolutely flaunt a total disregard for property rights and find himself making grand entrances into peoples homes and lives as part of his wayward caravan, leaving a trail of chaos in his wake.

himbo

One of the more recent characters I've played. Cadmus, Son of Abraxes! A "human" wizard on the plane of Theros, this man is the half-divine son of the literal personification of the pride of a polis that was wiped off the face of the world by the gods for their Hubris. So, an active devotee of the god of victory, and actively blaspheming the goddess of destiny at every turn (As he would put it, we hold the pen in our hands, she merely hoards the ink), his goal was to perform deeds good enough to earn a place as a constellation under the stars. He would only *ever* sleep outside at night, even in cities, because he wanted to rest with them as he knew one day he would for eternity.

[spectralscathath]

do robyn :3c:

Send me a RWBY character and I’ll tell you:

Robyn Hill

My top three ships for the character

Clover/Robyn (Lucky Shot is my OTP), Qrow/Robyn (Jailbyrds is a spite ship and I’ll admit it), Roman/Robyn (Rob the Rich, if only for the name)

My three least favorite ships for the character

Robyn/any of the other Happy Huntresses, Robyn/Winter (I remember that fucking ‘snowbyrd’ discourse you bastards), Robyn/Qrow (when I remove the spite goggles I don’t like this at all.)

My biggest criticism for the character

you got 10 minutes? 20? Maybe 30? Buckle up fuckos. I got some points to make and you’re gonna listen.

1. Robyn Hill is wasted potential

Robyn’s first appearance was one of my favourite scenes of Vol7. No joke! She was witty, interesting, had an excellent banter with Clover, deliberately stood down from a fight she couldn’t win, though she seemed eager for a challenge, showed some cunning, and looked like she was having fun. 

And then pretty much all of that got ignored. Robyn was set up as a good, smart leader with a cocky swagger, history with Clover, a deceptively cunning streak, and a calm, level-headed attitude. What Robyn was from then on was Angry Shouty Hothead Picks Fights She Can’t Win. She turned into someone impulsive, short-sighted, bullheaded, and focused only on fighting. 70% of Robyn’s lines are about violence and how she likes violence and how she wants to fight with VIOLENCE. The other 30% are, incidentally, ‘i’m so smart and understanding and kind, I’m gonna force people to undergo a lie detector test via peer pressure and ultimatums but it’s actually tragic that no one wants to be my friend because of my semblance. Poor me. 

And that was not what I was expecting. That is not what was foreshadowed. And compared to what the potential could have been, a good allusion rich with depth, a setting that could ahve been interesting if it wasn’t so rushed, how she could have been a player on the board, filled so many possible roles, and instead she was a walking ‘Ironwood bad’ mouthpiece that didn’t actually do anything (and has never done well in a fight, which is RWBY’s staple). What a waste. 

2. Robyn Hill actively makes things worse and gets no comeuppance

Robyn Hill makes situations worse. First of all, she steals supplies from Ironwood (and then doesn’t use them???? what the fuck????), which puts Ironwood under stress, which then leads to Ruby being Miss Unhelpful (but that’s a rant for another day). Robyn then gets classified info from Blake and Yang who, may I remind you, never met her. She could have been a spy! But no, Blake just has a gut feeling (because the script said so).

Robyn then calls James out on this, which later leads to ‘how did Robyn know about the global communications tower’, which means the fighting happens in the office, everyone stresses, Salem provides one of the few redeeming scenes in the show post-Ironwatts fight (it all went downhill from there, even more then it already was). Robyn didn’t explicitly cause this but she sure as fuck had a hand in it. 

Then you have fucking. Clover’s death. Yes, Robyn, agreeing with the serial killer who just tried to murder you and starting a fight in an enclosed space when you’re a ranged fighter vs your melee combatant ex-boyfriend is absolutely the smart thing to do. And then, for a moment, Qrow and Clover nearly sort things out, and fucking Robyn jumps in again. And then, what did she do? She got knocked out immediately. Yikes. Ladies and gentlemen, our ‘Resident Strong Female Character’. But because she did all this, she pretty much guaranteed first: Tyrian escaped. Secondly: Clover died. 

And yeah, Robyn. Just because Qrow didn’t personally shove that blade through Clover’s chest, he still worked with The Serial Killer Who Kills People to help. So yeah, Robyn, that does count as some sort of murder. Or at least, accomplice to murder. You’re also vaguely adjacent to it, so don’t get all ‘but Qrow’s innocent’.

It’s the same problem with team RWBY. They do terrible things, they whine about how hard it is, and all is forgiven cause they’re cute sad girls. There’s no comeuppance. There’s no growth. It’s just the script going ‘this character is right because we said so, so now we’re gonna do our best approximation of if a pretzal and a contortionist had an unholy boneless lovechild and bend the plot so the characters win anyway.’

3. Robyn Hill is a static character

This is gonna sound weird with this lil header but Robyn actually had an arc in vol7! She had an arc that was fairly basic, she went from ‘I don’t trust Ironwood and want to know what’s going on’ to ‘I am actively ruining Ironwood’s goals’ and finally settled on ‘I know what’s going on, Ironwood is worth supporting, and I do trust him.’ It was a simple arc, but it didn’t need to be anything more then that. 

Then in the span of about 1 minute all her actual development was reversed and she ran backwards to her original stance of ‘Ironwood bad’. We literally saw her devleopment walk backwards, and there it stayed. She spent all of vol8 as an empty voicebox that occasionally pipped out ‘Qrow’s my friend’ and was devoid of any personality. She didn’t have much beforehand that wasn’t fairly generic, so it’s almost impressive.

The problem is that static characters take a lot of work to avoid being boring characters. A lot of rwby just has these problems in general, character development is either ignored, skipped over, or given to the wrong characters, but in Robyn’s case it’s actively annoying because she had some development, and then she ignored all of that to go back to being ‘ironwood bad’ with a side of ‘Qrow good’ because we needed to be reminded of that after he got an innocent man killed. 

4. Robyn Hill is an unnecessary character

Why are you here. What do you do. Robyn was stated to be a character meant to act in opposition to Ironwood, to put him under stress like every other fucking character in this series. This was ‘confirmed’ by Eddy Rivas, which means zero because at some point the mentally deranged Weazel Ball that masquerades as the crwby writing team’s collective braincell will rapidly and suddenly change direction, causing massive retcons and plotholes in their moth-eaten threadbare dishtowel they dare to call ‘lore’, and we will have a different excuse for this waste of a good VA. 

Here’s the thing tho: Robyn as ‘opposition for Ironwood’ isn’t fucking special. The fucking air in the Atlas Academy lobby opposes Ironwood. Robyn seems to be there... because Mantle needed a voice? Okay, well, why the fuck did Mantle need to exist? Because... the election plotline needed to exist so Jacque could do something mean? God, everything about Mantle and Robyn and the election plotline is just annoying. It drags and it adds nothing to the plotline and it all should have been culled so instead we could focus on things that are actually important (like maybe: the myth arc? character development? the fucking Schnees in Atlas???) rather then rwby’s fuckboi incel attempt at ‘classism = bad?’. If I, as a professional paid editor who works with actual manuscripts, was given the scripts for rwby vol7, I would have gotten the big red highlighter and done a shitload of crossing out. Then I would have told the writing team “come back with your second draft”, but alas, we got the Atlas Arc.

My favorite thing about the character

I love her design aside from that ugly-ass scarf. Also, her VA, Cristina Vee, is the only redeeming quality of this tire-fire of a character. Godbless and praise. 

A headcanon I have about them

She deals with chronic ‘ponytail keeps falling out’ syndrome, just constantly. So many hairbands get used up when she does anything. 

What I would change about them if I was making a re-write

Everything. Every fucking thing. Especially that stupid fucking lie-detecting semblance.

What I I think of their character allusion and what (if anything) I would change about it

It’s incredibly underutilised. It’s Robin Hood in-name-only. It’s like, the most basic ‘oh the name is Robin and they steal’ and there’s not even any of the most obvious tells. Where’s the bright green? Where’s the hood? Where’s the fucking longbow? Where’s the ‘giving to the poor’ that comes after ‘stealing the rich’? She didn’t actually use any of those things she stole to fix Mantle, she just stole it. 

Literally, all the classic elements of Robin Hood are missing, all that’s there is a name and... that’s it. The allusion isn’t there, and even if it was, it’s done in a boring fashion. 

Personally, I would add more Robin Hood elements, and I would change one key thing. I would change her allegiance. Instead of ‘Robin Hood on the side of good’, I would take the team WTCH  approach, a ‘good allusion turned evil’, and I’d have Robyn working with Salem, or, at least, as an antagonist. Because that could be actually interesting then the boring and unnecessary storyline we had. 

[sword-dad-fukuzawa]

Analysing Shin Soukoku’s Fighting Style: the Team-Up

So, to write this, I watched two fights: SS vs Fitz and SS vs Ivan, as well as the Pushkin pursuit. I didn’t rewatch Dead Apple and, frankly, I don’t remember much of what happened in that movie. If this analysis seems incomplete without fight data from the fight against Shibusawa, please let me know! I’ll try to find a copy of the movie somewhere/the Boss fight itself and add a follow-up post. Anyway, onward!

SS’s dynamic is summed up fairly well by one exchange from the Ivan fight:

Atsushi: “Stay put, sickly man.” Akutagawa: “Keep running, fool.”

It not only foreshadows their next strategy, where they do just that, but their fighting dynamic in general (and also their character arcs, I’ll probably talk about that near the end). 

But, let’s start at the beginning, with the Fitz fight. They don’t do much collaboration in this battle, considering Atsushi ends up getting in Akutagawa’s way during the melee. They only truly worked together three times. 

The first was a double punch against Fitz. The second was when Atsushi fell off the side and Akutagawa screamed his iconic line, “JINKOOOO!”, and created a bridge with Rashoumon for him to run upon. Rashoumon as a transportation device seems to be a common theme later, as well. But then the third time is when Atsushi goes in for a tiger-assisted punch. Akutagawa wraps his fist in Rashoumon, which had previously been stated to act like muscle and shown to be strong enough to defend against Fitz’s strikes. It provided enough augmentation that Fitz, having used up all his money, was knocked off the side of the Moby Dick. 

Evident from this fight is one main thing: Atsushi acts as frontline assault while Akutagawa provides support from behind. Now, because Fitz is only one attacker with no area-affect capabilities, Akutagawa doesn’t have much else to do. 

However, Ivan was not so limited. While Atsushi goes for a straight attack, bouncing off of Rashoumon’s ribbons as both speed enhancement and to keep off the ground, Akutagawa swipes at the grasping hands from the earth. He takes out this preliminary defense while providing a mechanism for Atsushi to do his job--punch Ivan’s lights out. Atsushi was absolutely bait, which is acknowledged by both parties in this fight, as Akutagawa is the one to ultimately impale Ivan from below. Aku may be mid-range support, but he’s still deadly as fuck. 

We see this kind of dynamic during the Pushkin pursuit, where Aku is riding on Atsushi’s back. Pushkin detonates a bunch of explosions to try and fend them off. Atsushi’s only job is to run and follow Aku’s directions to dodge the attacks, and Aku also takes care of the projectiles heading for them. 

Perhaps the most interesting form of their collaboration is their combo attack Kokuto Zessou, which, annoyingly, I have not found a single translation for. It’s not even something they say during the manga, so I don’t know what it means. (If you do know, please, comment and let me know and I’ll edit this post.) 

Edit: I was told it may mean Black Tiger Claws, But they weren’t sure.

Akutagawa explains their final gambit against Ivan. First, he gives Atsushi his cloak, which is basically his ability. Rashoumon can eat physical space, so he uses it to eat the part of the pond Atsushi was trapped in to free him. By eating space and then “expanding and contracting the space he detached”, he basically gave Atsushi a bastardized teleportation ability. It’s janky and unclear how this works, but by God is it effective. 

Atsushi basically then whips himself into a spinning top of violence. The reason this does so well against Ivan’s rocks, which didn’t reform after being struck, is the combination of Beast Beneath the Moonlight and Rashoumon. The tiger’s claws can rip through the very fabric of an ability and Rashoumon can rip through any physical object. With Rashoumon-augmented claws, Atsushi can rip through literally anything--including Ivan’s defenses. 

So, what’s shin soukoku’s greatest asset? It’s their ability to work together, as begrudging as it is. They don’t actually need to discuss a plan. On the battlefield, they instinctually know what the other is going to do and compensates in order to take out the enemy. They acknowledge this when they both say during the Ivan fight that “How many times do you think we’ve tried to kill each other?” 

Their abilities complement each other the same way For the Tainted Sorrow’s Corruption and No Longer Human do. Atsushi as the main event, one could say, whether that means he’s the one doing most of the attacking or playing bait. Akutagawa as mid-range support. They compensate for each other’s weaknesses. 

Atsushi is really, really bad at dodging. He tanks whatever hits him because of his healing factor. Akutagawa’s position behind him as support means he can block and eliminate blows that would get in Atsushi’s way and potentially slow him down.

Akutagawa is not a very physical, up-close fighter. Atsushi is, which means Atsushi can tank whatever punishment would take Aku out of commission and deal devastating blows. If Atsushi fails to bludgeon the enemy to death, Aku is right behind, sneaking in a ribbon of Rashoumon to impale them from behind. 

This brings me back to their exchange:

Atsushi: “Stay put, sickly man.” Akutagawa: “Keep running, fool.”

Akutagawa stays put to play support behind Atsushi, who runs in front to deal/tank damage. This even kinda fits with their character arcs, which, honestly, I think is really awesome. Feel free to skip straight to “so what happens if they’re fighting you” if you’re uninterested in character rambling. 

Akutagawa doesn’t actually go through much character growth over the course of the anime and even the manga, though I hope this will change with the next chapter. He is, fundamentally, still the same angry child abandoned by his mentor, still searching for a reason to be worth acknowledgment. He stands still, beating at a brick wall. The healthy thing to do would be to take a step back, try something new, because killing people to “prove his existence” Gaara-style doesn’t seem to be doing anything. But instead, he continues along his path. 

Atsushi, on the other hand, shows immense character growth and it’s because he’s always running forward. He’s always trying to be better, and he grows because he’s working past his childhood trauma to get rid of the specter of his headmaster in his mind. Atsushi is learning and growing and coming into himself over the course of the anime. 

Akutagawa fights standing still most of the time. Atsushi is always charging forward, fist outstretched. It’s a nice bit of symbolism that the writer in me deeply appreciates, considering, with their diametrically opposed philosophies, they’re already narrative foils.

So what happens if they’re fighting you? Well! Uh. There isn’t actually that much hope for you, but that’s okay! Take Aku out of commission first. Atsushi doesn’t have amazing situational awareness, so deal a lot of physical damage to Aku to start. Make sure he’s not aware enough to sneakily put Rashoumon at your back and impale you, because I’m assuming you don’t have a tiger inside you to fix your wounds up. 

Area-effect attacks are where you’re going to have the best time. Ivan initially wins because his golem was indestructible and he had really large rocks to throw around and deal damage to both Atsushi and Akutagawa. But if we’re being serious here, you need a plan. 

Akutagawa and Atsushi are very straightforward fighters. Physical defenses have been established to be about as useful as tissue paper. So you’d need to trick them somehow, like with Ivan’s body double, to gain an advantage. Past that, I’m pretty sure you need to get the hell out. Which is my advice for most of these analyses, but hey, it still applies, lol. 

The next posts I’ll be doing are more character-analysis heavy, addressing an ask I got (ahhhh my first ask!!!) and a comment on another post. Hope this helped someone!

[erumai-maadu]

Tenten and Hiraishin

okay so my hot fucking take is that Tenten should have learned the Hiraishin no Jutsu (Flying Thunder God Jutsu). 

Some info about Hiraishin: It is a space-time ninjutsu, and was created by Tobirama Senju. Each person has a unique seal formula that they can apply to any object by touching it. The mark never disappears (even after the user dies), and there’s seemingly no limit to how many marks can be placed. Once the mark is placed, the user can teleport to a mark’s location, regardless of distance. Anything the user is holding or is linked with the user’s chakra will teleport with them, but that would likely require additional chakra. Users can also teleport objects to a different location than them, or teleport an object without teleporting themselves. The technique is also commonly used with projectile weapons like kunai to give the user an escape or another location to teleport to.

One quick disclaimer: The most we saw the technique used was with reanimated Minato during the 4th Great Ninja War, and he had infinite chakra in his reanimated state, so that may not be the best example for the jutsu’s limitations. I’d assume that the further away the formula mark from the user, the more chakra required to move to it, and the larger the extra object one is trying to teleport, the more chakra it consumes (think about the chakra consumption from trying to teleport another human, compared to a giant boulder, compared to a Tailed Beast Ball like Minato did during the Nine-Tails attack).

Now back on the topic of best girl Tenten: The Hiraishin would fit quite well with her fighting style. Tenten is a mix of ranged and melee fighter. She tends to start off fighting at a distance, launching weapons at enemies, and then getting in close and finishing them off. Hiraishin’s projectile style would work out well for her. She’d start by launching a bunch of kunai from a scroll at the enemy, like her usual opening move, except all of them would be marked with her Hiraishin formula. Once those land, if there are any enemies left (because just regular old kunai are deadly too), she can pull out another weapon, teleport to the kunai closest to the enemy/enemies, and start fighting in close range. 

Also, as a weapons’ specialist, Tenten isn’t limited to using just kunai with the Hiraishin. Shuriken and maybe thicker senbon work too as projectile weapons. We’ve never seen it, but Hiraishin’s formula can potentially be applied to any weapon, so why not on the end of the chain of a kusarigama? Instead of having to draw an enemy in with the chain in order to stick them with the sickle, she can just teleport to the end of the chain where they’re being held and kill them. Using paper bombs also becomes a million times easier since she can teleport away so she isn’t caught in her own explosions.

Tenten has also trained with Gai, Lee, and Neji, so you’d better believe her taijutsu is good. Tenten can likely hold her own against a master after Gai’s training, and probably knows a few Gentle Fist moves from sparring with Neji quite often. So in a combat situation, if she (for some reason) didn’t have any weapons on her, Hiraishin can be applied by a touch of the hand, so she could use a bastardized version of the Gentle Fist to apply her seal formula onto the enemy/enemies. She could apply the seal formula on multiple areas of a person’s body. By doing that, she can teleport in close to the enemy, beat them with some taijutsu (probably using Strong Fist at that point), and then teleport onto a different side of them to beat them up from a different angle. If fighting multiple enemies, she can teleport between enemies at any given moment, effectively occupying the whole group.

Giving Tenten Hiraishin would also even out the huge power gap between her and the other ninja in the series. Since pretty much everyone in the Konoha 12 has at least one very powerful technique, Tenten, with her normal human scale powers seems very weak in comparison. I’m not saying this’ll make her equal to Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke, or hell, even Lee, but at the very least she’s on a tier equal to Neji, or InoShikaCho.

Edit: IT WAS ALSO JUST BROUGHT TO MY ATTENTION, BUT IF TENTEN HAD HIRAISHIN, SHE COULD HAVE FUCKING SAVED NEJI, BECAUSE YOU BETTER BELIEVE SHE WOULD MARK HER TEAMMATES WITH THE FORMULA SO SHE COULD COME TO THEIR AID AT ANY MOMENT

Also the image of Tennie teleporting around the battlefield to fight a whole division of an army by herself is just such a cool visual.

Imagine Tenten arriving at a battlefield against a ton of enemies and releasing a horde of various projectile weaponry from a scroll like she normally does, but these projectiles are inscribed with her Hiraishin formula. They fly forward, and hit trees and the ground, and some of the kunai and senbon and shuriken find their mark on enemies. One of the surviving enemies lunges at her, and Tenten just vanishes in front of their eyes. She lands next to one of her kunai, and unseals a weapon or five. Teleporting from kunai to kunai, she slashes at enemies with her multitudes of swords, knives, chain whips, and other weapons, too fast for anyone to even react. In minutes, a horde of enemies would be dead bodies rotting on the ground.

We were fucking robbed.

[shuttershocky]

@friendliest-human Oh boy get ready

Apologies in advance for the long post there's no Read More on mobile. I'll edit it later i promise.

So like, Team Fortress 2 is a Spy-Fi set in the 60's, where two businessmen, brothers Redmond and Blutarch Mann, wage war over the right to be the sole owners of their inheritance, which their father explicitly left for them to share.

Thing is, this war had been going on since the 1800's. The Brothers Mann had invested in both the cutting edge of technology and the greatest mercenaries on Earth in order to both extend their lifespans and kill the other.

While doing so, both men hired a woman, The Administrator, to direct their forces. Playing both sides, The Administrator locked them into a stalemate to last several generations of assassins, manipulating the brother's fortunes and amusing herself with the unending bloodsport.

Now the thing is, the world of Team Fortress isn't quite the same as ours. Australia is the single most technologically advanced country, due to it being the only source of Australium in the world. A mineral that looks exactly like a bar of gold with a man punching a kangaroo on it, exposure to Australium turned even the biggest moron into an engineering genius with massive muscles, a big mustache, and bushy chest hair in the shape of Australia. It turned, in The Administrator's words, "a nation of idiots" into the most powerful force on the planet, and she used the Mann's fortunes in order to study it and used it to create their life-extending technology.

Speaking of idiots, the current crop of mercenaries are the most unstable and ridiculous batch yet. Nine of the dumbest, deadliest men in their history, all gathered to fight over what is by the 1960's a completely worthless plot of land.

Scout is a young American (specifically Boston) guy who can barely read, loves baseball enough to go to war with a bat, and was created by God to have sex with every woman on Earth. He's not very succesful in that regard. He has a crush on the Administrator's assistant, Miss Pauling. The middle child in a large family, he learned that the only way for him to ever get attention was to arrive first and be as loud and annoying as possible. He also has the amazing ability to defy physics and double jump.

Soldier is a rocket launcher using American soldier, who is heavily brain damaged due to drinking water filled with lead. He's paranoid, violent, and very stupid, but an incredible combatant and a master of rocket jumping, or the act of shooting your feet with a rocket and riding the blast upward. His roommate was the dark wizard Merasmus, who his team must battle every Halloween. He once fought a bear naked and covered in honey, and won. He also once put the whole team in mortal danger by creating a massive bread monster.

Pyro is a mask wearing pyromaniac who terrifies everyone else. Nobody knows who they are, what they're saying, or knows what they look like under the mask. Their teammates believe they are a monster and the most cruel being on Earth. Secretly, Pyro is literally unable to comprehend violence and sees the world through rainbow lens. Their axe is a big lollipop and their enemies are baby angels, and their flamethrower is a bubble blower, and they're playing around and making friends with everyone.

Heavy is a big Russian man with a bigger minigun. He's the most normal and well-adjusted of the mercs, being a fan of Russian literature, teddy bears, and good food. He is however, prone to temper tantrums and he enjoys danger a little too much. His best friend and constant partner is the Medic. His English is slightly broken, but nobody dares make fun of it in fear of their bones getting very broken. Later on the comics introduce his little sister, who's also a gigantic woman with an even greater dangerlust than he does. She gets engaged to the Soldier after they kill a few dozen men together with their bare hands. Heavy is not pleased.

Demoman is a black, Scottish explosives expert with only one eye. Despite being a raging alcoholic, he is shown to be the most succesful of the mercs, being extremely rich and housing his mother in a giant castle. He is however, a great shame to his family, who pride themselves on losing both their eyes in battle. Despite Demoman trying his best, he's simply too good a fighter to lose his other eye in combat, and his mother berates him for this daily. He's also very skilled with a sword and shield, and can build to be a melee fighter. He lost his missing eye after discovering the Bombnomicon, Merasmus' cursed spellbook, and enchanting his eye into a bomb spewing monster. His team does battle with his haunted eye every Halloween. He and Soldier used to be best friends, but suffered a bad breakup through The Administrator's manipulation.

Engineer is the grandson of the first man the Administrator dosed with Australium. A mechanical genius from Texas, his sentry guns, teleporters, dispensers, and occasional cyborg arm are often the biggest nuisances in the game. Like the Heavy, he's quite normal and well-adjusted, although maybe TOO well-adjusted to all the bullshit.

Medic is a quack doctor from Germany whose lack of morales is only matched by the sheer insanity of whatever the fuck he's up to. Having lost his medical license ages ago, he implanted his teammates with megababoon hearts in order for them to survive the steroids his medigun hits them with (which he calls ubercharge). He once sold his soul to the devil for a pen, and then scammed him in order to revive from death. He has a pet pigeon called Archimedes that he sometimes leaves inside his teammates' bodies. He keeps the severed heads of his enemies alive and inside his fridge, where they can talk to him and beg for death. He's very close with the Heavy.

Sniper is the one Australian who doesn't sport a giant mustache and a giant chest. An extremely professional assassin, he seems alright at first... Until you realize he makes bombs out of his pee. He's very focused on his job and may be a little paranoid; one of his personal rules is to have a plan to kill absolutely every single person he ever meets. He's also skilled with a bow, and likes to fight with kukri knives.

Spy is a Frenchman with the amazing ability to shapeshift and perfectly imitate anyone's appearance, voice and mannerisms. Able to kill with a single backstab, his disguises and invisibility cloak allow him to infiltrate the enemy base and take them out from the inside. He likes to think of himself as above his teammates's bullshit, but really he's one of them in every single way. He once taught Scout how to romance a woman, after Scout begged him for help since his only pickup line was "Hey we both got buckets of chicken, wanna do it?" but it went disastrously. His relationship with Scout in general is weird since he once fucked Scout's mother. He later realizes that he may in fact be Scout's father. Knowing that Scout would both never accept him and that he had no right to call himself that, he also disguised himself as Scout's idol Tom Jones in order to comfort Scout as the younger man lay dying, while telling Scout about how he had dropped a Sex Bomb on his mother. When Scout went to heaven, the angels helped preserve the lie by snapping the real Tom Jones' neck just as Scout was about to meet him. In heaven. Since the real Tom Jones was dead. To Spy's chagrin, God raised Scout back from the dead.

There's a lot more - I haven't even touched on the third Mann Brother or Saxton Hale or Miss Pauling yet - but this should be the general gist of TF2.

[tigerkirby215]

5e Yasuo, the Unforgiven build (League of Legends)

(Artwork by Riot Games)

Yone is back; only fair that I do his brother. There’s about a thousand different jokes I could make here but they’d all be extremely low-bar... just like the average K/D/A of a Yasuo player.

GOALS

Death is like the wind; always by my side - The most important thing for the master of the legendary wind technique will be wind magic, obviously.

One blade; one purpose - Even without the wind technique Yasuo is still an expert swordsman.

Way of the Wanderer - We’ll need a guaranteed way to strike hard and true while also shielding ourselves. Because I don’t see why Yasuo shouldn’t get double crit chance and a shield just for walking around.

RACE

Yasuo is a human, and since he didn’t get a demon attached to his face I can’t justify much else like I could with his brother. But Variant Human still smells so how about more dragonmarks to spice it up? As a Mark of Passage Human you get +2 to Dexterity and +1 to another stat of your choice: pick Charisma to play the flute better and get more Mastery 7s. You also know Common along with one other language of your choice: I’d argue that Elvish would be common in Ionia? But pick whatever you think will be useful.

You have Courier's Speed for an extra 5 feet of movement, and Intuitive Motion to add a d4 to Acrobatics checks or checks to operate land vehicles. Finally Magical Passage will allow you to cast Misty Step once per Long Rest, for some Flash plays.

If Eberron races aren’t allowed Variant Human still works fine. There’s plenty of good feats to choose from: the new UA weapon feats, Mobile, Defensive Duelist, Alert, Magic Initiate, or just some generally useful feats like Tough or Lucky.

ABILITY SCORES

15; CHARISMA - You have all the makings of an anime protagonist from the land of anime protagonists.

14; DEXTERITY - To master the sword you need to strike as swift as the wind.

13; CONSTITUTION - You need a bit of health to dive into a 1v5, even after your team told you not to over ten times.

12; STRENGTH - Yas’ got abs. Probably because Rito wants to make the girls thirsty, but still: Yas’ got abs.

10; WISDOM - You were always the hotheaded brother, but you had to survive somehow. Even if you’re too stupid to identify a demon disguised as an old man.

8; INTELLIGENCE - Joke about Yasuo mains goes here, but put simply we don’t need Intelligence for much. Even if the wind technique takes skill you did always kinda wing it.

BACKGROUND

Yasuo has many backgrounds, but while there’s no “Unforgiven” background the Outlander background literally gives us Way of the Wanderer, allowing you to remember the general layout of the land around you and also find food and water for your party. You also gain proficiency in Athletics and Survival, an instrument of your choice (Flute, obviously), and a language of your choice. (I’d choose Sylvan for the ancient Ionian dialect.)

(Artwork by Riot Games)

THE BUILD

LEVEL 1 - ROGUE 1

While you may not have started out as a Rogue in life we’ll be starting this build off with Rogue levels to get more skills. Skills like Acrobatics and Slight of Hand to aid with using the Wind Technique, Deception to keep people from killing you for ruining their promos, and Performance to play that flute of yours. You also get Expertise in two skills that you know and since again they are important for using the Wind Technique choose Acrobatics and Slight of Hand. You also learn Thieves’ Cant, which is a code language that only Rogues know, because it takes a bit to learn what “hasagi” means.

The main appeal of Rogues is of course the ability to Sneak Attack. If you have Advantage on your attack or the enemy is within 5 feet of an ally you can do an extra d6 of damage with your sword. You can only sneak attack if you’re using a Finesse weapon, and you can’t sneak attack if you have Disadvantage. By the way now would be a good time to mention that even though Yasuo uses a katana (of sorts) in League there’s no good analogy for a katana in D&D, but Yas does a lot of stabbing with his sword so a rapier would be your best option for a big damage die for piercing damage.

LEVEL 2 - ROGUE 2

Second level Rogues get Cunning Action for some Sweeping Blades, allowing you to Dash, Disengage, or Hide as a bonus action. Remember that as a Mark of Passage human your base movement speed is 35, so you can dash up to 70 feet. Zoom through the minion wave to cut down your foes! Or just dash around like an idiot before getting taunted by the enemy Galio. (Trust me as a Galio player I love playing against Yasuos.)

LEVEL 3 - ROGUE 3

At third level you can choose your Roguish archetype and to guarantee that your ego gets you into fights go for Swashbuckler. Swashbucklers get two abilities at level 3 but honestly it’s more like they get three: Rakish Audacity lets you add your Charisma modifier to your Initiative rolls, so you can initiate even if you shouldn’t. It also lets you Sneak Attack work on enemies in melee range who don’t have an ally near them. (As long as you don’t have Disadvantage.) Additionally Fancy Footwork will let you move away from anyone you’ve attacked without provoking Attacks of Opportunity, even if you missed with your Sweeping Blades.

Basically you get the Mobile feat, you can Sneak Attack anyone who’s out in the open, and you add your Charisma to your initiative. Got it? Good. Oh and your Sneak Attack increases to 2d6.

LEVEL 4 - FIGHTER 1

Feel free to take the Fighter levels later as I’m mostly taking it for flavor reasons (god this build seems really familiar so far), but an early level in Fighter does give you a Fighting Style. Despite what you may think would make the most sense we’ll actually be taking the Defense fighting style for +1 AC thanks to the wind by our side. Put simply we have plans for the future.

At least you can have a flask of “Refillable Potion” to give you some Second Wind, allowing you to heal for a d10 plus your Fighter level as a bonus action once per short or long rest.

(Artwork by Riot Games)

Hey guys I’m multiclassing into a Charisma class! It’s time for levels in...

LEVEL 5 - BARD 1

SURPRISE! Funny how two brothers who started out so similar could go down such different paths... Anyways: multiclassing into Bard gives you one skill proficiency and one instrument proficiency. For skill you can choose just about anything but I opted for Insight to tell if the old man is serious about his secret Spirit Blossom temple. Your choice of instrument isn’t too important: learn more flutes (Pan Flutes to be exact) or borrow your dead brother’s Viol?

The main skill of Bards is their Bardic Inspiration: you can use your Bonus Action to give an ally within 60 feet to add to ability checks, attack rolls, and saving throws. You have a number of these dice equal to your Charisma modifier because there’s only a number of times you can flash your Mastery 7 per match before people get sick of it.

You also get access to spellcasting! You get two cantrips from the Bard list: Mage Hand will allow you to bend the wind to grab things from a distance, and Message will let you talk in team chat regardless of if your allies muted you.

For a not-quite-tornado Earth Tremor forces all nearby enemies to make a Dexterity saving throw or be knocked prone. To keep up with the Way of the Wanderer grab Longstrider and Feather Fall to keep you and your allies swift and safe, and because there isn’t much else to grab at first level take Detect Magic to... detect magic.

LEVEL 6 - BARD 2

Second level Bards get Jack of All Trades, letting them add half their proficiency bonus to any skill check they’re not already proficient in. They also get Song of Rest, letting allies heal an extra d6 when taking a short rest. And you can add another spell but since again none of these really interest me you may as well grab Identify.

LEVEL 7 - BARD 3

What we’re really here for is the third level of Bard for our Bardic College. To study the way of the sword of course you’ll have to attend the College of Swords! As a Swords Bard you can channel the wind with your sword, and you get an additional Fighting Style: this is why we took Defense earlier because now we can grab Dueling for +2 damage with our Rapier!

The main appeal of Swords Bards however is their Blade Flourishes. When you attack an enemy your movement speed increases by 10 feet (adding up to 45 feet total, since you have 5 feet of additional movement speed), and if you hit you can choose to use a Bardic Inspiration die to perform a Blade Flourish:

Defensive Flourish will let you add your Bardic Inspiration to attack damage to and add the number rolled to your AC.

Slashing Flourish will let you add your Bardic Inspiration to attack damage and do damage equal to your Bardic Inspiration to anyone you choose within 5 feet of you.

Mobile Flourish will let you add your Bardic Inspiration to attack damage and push the target a number of feet equal to 5 plus your Bardic Inspiration roll. Additionally you can then use your reaction to move within 5 feet of them to continue chasing them down!

You can only use one Blade Flourish per turn, and they are obviously restricted by your Bardic Inspiration, so use them wisely!

You also get Expertise in two more skills and access to second level spells! Choose Athletics to guarantee success in a fight, and Deception to guarantee that no one who’s looking for you finds you. For your spell Warding Wind will let you bend the wind to protect you, doing a bunch of stuff detailed in the spell’s description but mostly keeping projectiles from hitting you.

LEVEL 8 - BARD 4

4th level Bards finally get our first Ability Score Improvement: Attack Speed increases the effectiveness of all our abilities so increase your Dexterity for more of that.

You can also add another cantrip to your spell list, as well as another leveled spell. For cantrips you can blow some paper lanterns though the air with Dancing Lights. As for your leveled spell there are plenty of great options but I suggest knocking an enemy up to cut them down with Last Breath thanks to Hold Person. Hold Person inflicts Paralyzed, which grants all attacks against the target Advantage. Advantage means that you can sneak attack, though you could already sneak attack if they were singled out. But reliability isn’t a bad thing!

LEVEL 9 - BARD 5

5th level Bards get Font of Inspiration, allowing their Bardic Inspiration to come back on a short rest. Which is good, because their Bardic Inspiration (IE Blade Flourish) die also increase to a d8!

You can also learn another spell, and now have access to third level slots! If you need a safe place to rest then Leomund’s Tiny Hut can give you a moment’s peace.

LEVEL 10 - BARD 6

As a Swords Bard you finally get an Extra Attack at 6th level. Only took 10 levels in the build to get our second attack, huhn? Regardless you can also learn another spell such as Hypnotic Pattern, allowing you to stun a room full of enemies so you can focus on the main big bad! Oh and you get Countercharm, which sucks.

(Artwork by Riot Games)

LEVEL 11 - BARD 7

7th level Bards get 4th level spells like Dimension Door to teleport into a fight when needed. Or you can keep farming.

LEVEL 12 - BARD 8

At 8th level you get another Ability Score Improvement: cap off your Dexterity score to give your enemies a death by a thousand cuts.

You can also learn another spell like Freedom of Movement for a Quicksilver Sash against a CC-heavy team.

LEVEL 13 - BARD 9

9th level Bards see their Song of Rest increase to a d8 for some more sake breaks with the party. You also get access to 5th level spells such as Hold Monster, just in case Shyvana or Rek’Sai are carrying.

LEVEL 14 - BARD 10

Hey shouldn’t we get more wind magic as the wind swordsman? Well 10th level Bards get their first batch of Magical Secrets: for Wind Wall get the spell literally called Wind Wall. Wind Wall creates a wall of wind (no really?) that will deflect missiles. And the best part? This wind wall actually does damage!

To cast Last Breath without the knock up look no further than Steel Wind Strike. Choose up to five creatures you can see within range and make a melee spell attack against each target. On a hit, a target takes 6d10 force damage. You can then teleport to an unoccupied space you can see within 5 feet of one of the targets you hit or missed after casting the spell.

You also get Expertise in two more skills, and can learn another cantrip! By this point the only skills you really have to get Expertise in are Insight and Survival. (I mean if you want to get Expertise in Performance go ahead?) And for your cantrip you may as well finally grab Vicious Mockery. Flash that Mastery 7 to intimidate your enemies! (Feel free to grab Vicious Mockery earlier in the build if you want, I’m just taking it in an order that fits the character.)

LEVEL 15 - FIGHTER 2

Feel free to take your Fighter levels earlier but I figured that Wind Wall and Last Breath were more important to the build. Regardless second level Fighters get Action Surge, letting them take one additional action their turn. This means that you can attack four times in a round, or cast multiple spells!

LEVEL 16 - FIGHTER 3

Third level Fighters can choose their Martial Archetype, and Samurai can attack precisely and shield themselves with Fighting Spirit. When you activate Fighting Spirit as a Bonus Action you get advantage on all attacks for the turn, meaning free Sneak Attack and more chances to crit! You also get 5 temporary hitpoints to shrug off some incoming damage. You get three uses of Fighting Spirit per Long Rest but honestly talk to your DM if Fighting Spirit can come back on a Short Rest; if Battle Masters get their Maneuver Dice back on a Short Rest why can’t you get Advantage on a Short Rest?

And you know what we don’t have enough of? Skill proficiencies! You can choose to either learn a language or a skill from the Samurai list: take Persuasion to fully round out your roguish charm.

(Artwork by SIXMOREVODKA STUDIO. Created for Legends of Runeterra by Riot Games.)

LEVEL 17 - BARD 11

11th level Bards can learn 6th level spells but unfortunately none of these are really that impressive, so you may as well mute the chat and incoming pings with Blindness / Deafness at second level.

LEVEL 18 - BARD 12

At 12th level you get another Ability Score Improvement: if you want more Bardic Inspiration and better spells go for 2 points in Charisma, but if you want to keep your Concentration up the Resilient feat for Constitution is also a very good option. Of course if you rolled for stats the choice is easier, but I personally opted for better Charisma so that Steel Wind Strike is more likely to hit.

LEVEL 19 - BARD 13

13th level Bards see their Song of Rest increase to a d10, which is almost completely irrelevant at this point. You do get a 7th level spell slot though, and while there are many options to choose from how about you bring your brother back? Resurrection will let you bring a target to life if they have been dead for less than a century, though it comes with a lot of costs that are detailed in the spell. So maybe just let demons bring your brother back to life instead.

LEVEL 20 - BARD 14

With the 14th level of Bard being our capstone there’s a lot to be gained: firstly you get your final Bardic College ability of Master’s Flourish, letting you roll a d6 to use for a Blade Flourish and not spend a Bardic Inspiration die. But more importantly you get two more Magical Secrets: Investiture of Stone is a spell I gave to Yasuo’s brother because of its ability to knock enemies down, but I figure the master of the wind technique may as well get Investiture of Wind as well. Yasuo doesn’t fly in League but there’s nothing saying he can’t fly?

FINAL BUILD

PROS

Kill me? You can try - How about some sword math? You can attack twice with your Rapier for a d8 + 7 damage, are pretty much guaranteed Sneak Attack as a Swashbuckler for an additional 2d6 damage, and can pop a Master’s Flourish for an extra d6 of damage, or a regular Bardic Inspiration die for an extra d10. That means that you’ll be doing a total of 2d8 + 3d6 + 14 damage per turn on average. Add in a high AC (17 with Leather, 18 with Studded, 20 if you grab a shield (no reason not to!) and even higher with Defensive Flourish) and generally high mobility you can guarantee that you won’t be hit, and those that do hit you will be dead.

Honor is in the heart, not the name - You also have a lot of utility with your spells. Turns out Wind Magic translates into a lot of ranged attacks being negated, and a lot of enemies being too dazed to fight back.

Don't start what I'll finish - Even outside of combat you are insanely useful. You are proficient in 8 out of the 18 available skills, have Expertise in 6 of them, and can still be useful in the skills you’re not proficient in thanks to Jack of All Trades.

CONS

Follow the wind, but watch your back - Your AC may be great but your saving throws are not, and your health leaves something to be desired too. A few Strength or Wisdom saves can easily put you out of commission, and Power Word Kill can easily put an end to you screaming “Hasag!” and “Aseryo!”

Is a leaf's only purpose to fall? - You’ll be chewing through resources quick if you want to fight like Yasuo. Limited spell slots and limited Fighting Spirit, both of which come back on a long rest. Sure you’ve got Bardic Inspiration (Blade Flourishes) and Second Wind comes back on a short rest but they’re also still limited.

A wanderer isn't always lost - A three-way multiclass results in some missed ASIs, and truth be told the Samurai levels really aren’t providing much. You’d be much better off getting some more levels in Bard for a d12 Inspiration die and access to 8th (or even 9th!) level spells.

But while your body may be weak your mastery over the wind is strong! Dance around the battlefield like a leaf in the wind, cut down your foes, and blast away any incoming attacks before slicing through your foes like a swift breeze! And be sure not to abandon your post: we don’t need more revenants roaming around.

(Artwork by Riot Games)

[cantfoolajoker]

the investigation team as dnd classes

after sees and the thieves, we’re here now for the final part of this dumb series. thank god the i-team has the smallest cast size so this isn’t as lengthy as the other two, but it’s still going under the read more for reading sake. enjoy!

lets start off with our main lad souji/yu who i vote is a knowledge domain cleric. alternatively, could also be a tempest cleric if you want more zappy zappy, but i’m focusing on his pursuit of knowledge here. as the name implies, these clerics worship gods of knowledge and their temples are typically libraries. they get things such as read thoughts (using their channel divinity to read the thoughts of creatures at a surface level if they fail a saving throw) and visions of the past, which lets them see what happened in the past to a specific item or area. their domain spell list also includes speak with the dead (yikes) and scrying (so he can talk to nanako whenever :) ).

yosuke is 100% a drunken master monk and here’s why: drunken master monks fighting style is entirely based around being agile and essentially moving as if you had the unsteady feet of someone drunk, making yourself light and able to effectively dodge moves while making your opponent undermine you. while yosuke isn’t That ahead of the game in terms of how he tries to portray himself, his actual fighting style of being very acrobatic and airy fits into drunken master nicely especially considering the hit and run tactic the class utilizes. also, since we all now know yosuke is the fastest character in the p4 arena games, here’s some extra tidbit info: monks get extra movement speed every few levels and if you were to make him a wood elf, he’d have the highest speed of anyone, including a certain warforged monk. have fun with that.

so this may be a bit of a controversial take but chie as way of long death monk because of how much she wants to protect other people. their fighting style focuses on understanding how death functions and essentially ensuring they are able to accurately take down opponents by examining the different aspects and fundamentals of death. they can expand ki points to avoid death with “mastery of death” and can frighten enemies with “hour of reaping” due to their skill set. also, they get the main staple of monks which is a normal hit die for using an unarmed strike, so chie can kick as much as she wants.

i feel like yukiko is an evocation wizard since she is both a magic user and also like does put in some dps, as well as it makes sense her highest stat would be intelligence. school of evocation as a subclass is basically the dps subclass for wizard that focuses on blasting spells of most elemental affiliations but it is very commonly associated with fire since that is the most explosive (and also fireball is a very fun spell). you also get the sculpt spells feature which allows you to redirect your spells mid casting them which no other wizard subclass can do, and potent cantrip, which basically forces the enemy to take half the damage of the cantrip even if it succeeded on the saving throw. also yukiko Would threaten to hit people with her giant magic tome she keeps her spells in, don’t lie to me.

kanji’s a paladin because he’s a tanky boy and i felt that giving him barbarian would be a cop out. oath of ancients paladin i feel is the best fit for him since they’re first and foremost considered one of the oldest subclasses as they date around to druids, their essential full class cousin, who are considered ancient divine magic, and this fits as a reminder that kanji comes from an equally traditional family. their tenets essentially stand for protecting the inherent light and creativity of the world rather than a sense of morality; they uphold art and song and the general beauty of life, meaning kanji’s sewing also takes a very important role as they typically don their armor with decorations relating to this concept as a reminder that they are protecting light and life. most of their attacks center around a nature theme, and they even get a new form at 20th level due to elder champion that is almost akin to an ancient force of nature. also, they get speak with animals as an oath spell, i feel like that’s the best selling point.

alright rise’s a bard. we all knew that one. i feel like she’s a valor bard especially given her ability to fight in p4au, since valor bards aren’t exactly melee like their swords cousins but they still can pack a punch and assist their dps in combat. they can provide inspiration mid fight and also use their music to heal some hit points. flavor wise, they’re known for singing about heroes to inspire other heroes and can be considered very classic bards, and since those are typically the most popular kinds of bards, it does parallel nicely to her idol status.

teddie’s an eladrin first and foremost, potentially one that’s sort of mixed between all of the seasons to match his primary color self as well as encapsulate on the fact he would essentially be an off color fey adjacent figure like his harmless-yet-potential-to-be-harmful shadow origins in source. because of this, i think leaning into that would be good and druid circle of dreams may be the best fit for him; these druids pull their power from the feywilds and specifically the dream like state it has since generally being in the feywilds feels unreal to most people not naturally originating from it. they invoke the power of both the summer and the gloaming courts in order to act as essentially a poster child for the hopefully peaceful relations between the feywilds and the material plain, and as such they get “walker in dreams” which allows them to plain hop much like teddie can do between the shadow world and the normal world. also, like all druids can do, he can shapeshift into animals, and he can keep being his beary best self.

okay so like, i know gunslingers are a thing, but also naoto strikes me as an inquisitive rogue because they’re basically the actual detective class and subclass combo of dnd. the big take away is they have a very keen eye and basically amp up their insight and perception skills to the max, with unerring eye even allowing them to see through illusions or other magic designed to deceive one’s senses. naoto can Also have a gun still while in this class regardless and even get bonus damage on it if they get sneak attack, which is pretty neat.

bonus: adachi is a gunslinger fighter bc he literally made a model gun have a functional barrel cause he wanted a gun that badly. alternatively, he could be a fiend warlock or even the artillerist artificer bc he almost definitely has the int stat for it.

[sides-of-demigods]

The Forest Incident Pt. 1

Word Count: 1482

Warnings: There’s some cursing but I don’t think there’s anything else.

Author's Note: Just letting you know now, the whole mythology with the serket is a bunch of bullshit. It was inspired by the giant scorpions in Battle of the Labyrinth, but the rest is all me.

Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Virgil just wanted to hang out with Patton and lay there with his headphones on while Patton made flower crowns and such.

But NO

Instead Thomas sent a fellow son of Phobos, Virgil’s little brother Skylar to find Virgil and have him head to the Rec Room. AKA the War Room.

Virgil walks in and sits next to Patton. Logan is across from Patton and next walks in...Roman Prince?

You see, Roman and Virgil did not have the greatest relationship at this point. You know the boys as friends, and maybe on their way to becoming something more. But that's when they are 16.

This is 2 years ago, with the boys at 14 years old.

And they hate each other.

Roman thinks that Virgil is bad because his father is an “evil’ god, but tolerates him for Patton’s sake.

Meanwhile, Virgil thinks Roman is a stuck-up, entitled, judgemental asshole. The only reason they haven’t killed each other yet is Patton.

So Virgil was not happy when His Highness walked in, but whatever, he’d see what Thomas wanted.

Thomas came in just as Roman sat next to Logan and therefore across from Virgil.

The son of Iris’s face was unusually grave, silencing whatever remark Roman had been opening his mouth to make.

“I don’t know about the others but I was pulled directly out of training for this,” Logan spoke up. “You know this considering you organized the training schedules yourself. And, what with how adamant you are we be prepared for anything, I know you wouldn’t have done that unless this was important. So tell us, Thomas, what is this about?”

Thomas sighed and ran his hand through his hair. Virgil could tell now how stressed Thomas seemed. He had dark circles under his eyes from lost sleep, and he wasn’t even trying to be his chipper self.

“Well, campers have been hearing sounds coming from the general direction of the Eris cabin,” Thomas began, sitting at the head of the table. “Me, Chiron, and the counselors didn’t really think anything of it because, well, there are always sounds coming from over there. And then they stopped, so it didn’t look like it needed to be a concern.”

Virgil knew the sounds he was talking about, as his cabin was in the same area. Intentionally or not, when they added the cabins for the gods who weren’t exactly...well-loved, they all ended up in one area. Hades, Nemesis, Apate, Phobos, Eris, etc.

But this time it seemed like there was a lot more clattering and something almost like scuttling. Virgil had just assumed that a Hades kid had summoned a few skeletons for something, but now he wasn’t so sure.

“I get the feeling something changed?” Roman said.

“The noises started up again, but this time from the forest,” Thomas told the group.

“Wait, is that why Capture the Flag has been canceled the last few weeks?” Virgil asked. Thomas nodded.

“You all remember that kid who was attacked by a monster in the last round of Capture the Flag?” Thomas waited for their various forms of agreement before continuing. “Thanks to them, we figured out that those sounds were coming from a monster, and that monster had been released into the woods, attacking that camper when they came across it.”

“I’m starting to get kind of worried about where we fit into this,” Virgil muttered, slumping a bit more in his chair.

“I want you guys to go find and kill it, or them,” Thomas put his hands up in surrender with a sigh. “I know, but you four are our best, and you are handpicked based on how you work together, your powers, and your skills.”

“Logan you’re the best strategist at camp and know more about various monsters and myths than anyone else.”

“Roman your sword gives you access to multiple weapons and you’re an expert with all of them.”

“Patton your powers are a good fail-safe obviously, but your skills as a healer are what I’m really looking for here.”

“And Virgil, if you get overwhelmed your powers can drive things away or keep other monsters from attacking you, not to mention you are just as good a fighter as Roman.”

“You know Thomas, I can’t help but notice,” Patton hesitates, but continues on with a nudge from Virgil. “You kinda seem like you’re glossing over what exactly these monsters are?”

“Guilty as charged,” Thomas admitted. “The monster you’ll be fighting is a herd of serkets.”

“Wait, WHAT?” Roman exclaimed, leaping to his feet. “And you’re only sending four of us?”

“Kinda impressed you even knew what that was, Fault Disney,” Virgil snickered.

“I'll have you know, Tall Dark and Gruesome,” Roman whirled to face Virgil. “That I may not be a nerd, but I have read my fair share of mythology. I have been here since I was six years old, and am very passionate about being a hero. That involves more than just swinging a sword around like a brainless troll!”

Virgil blinked in surprise. He had expected a snide comment, not full-on anger. It felt wrong. Thankfully, Patton stepped in before things could escalate.

“Boys, let's all calm down,” Patton suggested before turning to Logan. “Loganberry, do you mind filling in me and Virgil on what exactly a circuit is?”

“Ser-ket, dear,” Logan corrected him before clearing his throat. “The serket is an extremely large scorpion, the smallest being the size of a human.”

“They have tough armor that isn't impenetrable but still harder to get through.”

“Not to mention the pincers that are sharp and strong enough to snap you in half.”

“But most worrisome is the tail. It's fast and strong and the stinger at the top is razor-sharp. Even worse is that the poison, according to my calculations, that the poison from the stinger’s first strike has a 96% fatality rate. After a first strike, the poison is gone, but the stinger is still deadly.”

Virgil was NOT ready for this.

“And of course the fact that they often travel in herds,” Logan pointed out.

“Of course they do,” Virgil sighed, letting his forehead hit the table and he just sat there. “I don't suppose we have any sort of plan?”

“Actually, you do,” Thomas jumped back into the conversation. “Also you all are going to hate this, but hear me out, okay? You're going to split up.”

“WHAT?” Patton exclaimed. “All this stuff that could kill us and your sending only one medic, and then splitting us up?”

“I know Patton, and believe me I wouldn't do this if there was any other choice,” Thomas said, trying desperately to placate the son of Hebe. “But we have no idea where they could be, and we need to take care of these as soon as possible. For all we know they could decide to attack the camp while we're unprepared. That would be a massacre.”

Patton took a breath. He did not seem satisfied but he pulled forward anyway.

“Fine, alright, what are the teams?” Patton relented.

Virgil already had his expectations. Roman got along best with Patton, and Virgil and Logan got along well. It made sense to him.

“Logan and Patton, you'll be in the west woods,” Thomas sighed, almost as if preparing for a fight. “The east will be Roman and Virgil.”

The room was silent.

Too silent.

Like all five men were holding their breath.

And then….

“HIM?!” Virgil and Roman exclaimed in unison, glaring at each other.

Thomas had been ready for this though.

“Yes, you two. I thought this through too. You too are the best fighters of the group. So the with the two of you together you're less likely to need a medic. No offense, Logan.”

“None taken.”

“Besides those are the teams that work well together. Logan and Patton are practically soulmates so that's obvious. Plus a melee and ranged fighter is strategy 101.”

Roman scoffs. “And what, now you're going to say that Jack Smellington and I are soulmates too?”

Thomas smiled innocently. “No. But don't you two train together, just the two of you, three times a week? If anyone would know each other's strengths, weaknesses, and style wouldn't it be you two?”

“I don't think I've ever heard Roman Prince speechless before,” Logan commented, smirking at the expressions on the two boys. They looked like they had just gotten smacked in the face. “It is a moment I will truly savor.”

“If that’s everything I think you guys should head back to your cabins,” Thomas suggested, standing from his chair. “You’ll want to get ready tonight. You leave at dawn.”