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#he really did handle that man
wikipedie · 2 years
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The train is late and your family is dead
I think grief is like a really ugly couch. It never goes away. You can decorate around it; you can slap a doily on top of it; you can push it to the corner of the room—but eventually, you learn to live with it. ― Jodi Picoult, Leaving Time
Joan Didion, The Year of Magical Thinking | The Mentalist season 1, episode 7: Seeing Red | Linda Pastan, The Five Stages of Grief | The Mentalist season 2, episode 23: Red Sky in the Morning | teashoesandhair, grief | The Mentalist season 1, episode 5: Redwood | Lemony Snicket, A Series of Unfortunate Events (for Beatrice) | The Mentalist season 4, episode 23: Red Rover, Red Rover | The Mentalist season 5, episode 2: Devil's Cherry | Anne Carson, Glass, irony and god | Jamie Anderson | Anne Carson, Grief Lessons: Four Plays by Euripides | The Mentalist season 7, episode 13: White Orchids | Glennon Doyle Melton, Love Warrior
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Can we get a ranking of speedsters most to least likely to kill
This thing is gonna be an upside down pyramid. Jesus, okay.
Tier 1 (Have killed, will kill)
Jay, Max, Dawn, Don
Tier 2 (Have killed, will kill again but is more prone to torture when angry and/or threatened)
Barry, Bart, Wally
Tier 3 (Hasn't killed but will if needed)
Avery, Ace, Jesse, Jenni
Tier 4 (Actual child)
Irey, Jai, Wade
My explanation for this? Simple. Tier 1 is all people who have actively fought in wars. Jay fought Nazis, he killed people in WW2. That's just what happened. He doesn't feel bad about it. Jay avoids killing people now because he isn't at war currently, but he will kill and has killed if he absolutely has to.
Max has also fought in wars and he has had a long and storied past throughout history. The man has seen and done things. Not all of them good. But yeah, Max has killed. Will he kill again? Unlikely. Unless someone is threatening his daughter or Bart, in which case, yes, it's very likely.
Dawn and Don also fought in a war and killed entire platoons of Dominators. They're unlikely to kill again because they're dead. But if they weren't dead? I'm pretty sure they'd still be fine with killing people in wartime situations.
Tier 2 is a little bit more complicated. Barry, Wally and Bart have all killed people. It's a last resort for them but it's still always an option. If they have to kill the bad guy to save the civilian then they'll kill the bad guy no questions asked. Some people have to die for the time stream to function correctly? Sure. Okay. Especially bigger bads like Darksied. They had absolutely no problem killing Darksied. Oh, and you better watch out if you threaten their loved ones because the people they love are worth dying and killing for.
They don't like it. They really don't like it. But they'll do it.
(Honestly though? Bart is unnerving unfazed by it)
Tier 3. So... This may come as a surprise but I actually haven't read all the LoSH comics? So while I'm fairly certain Jenni hasn't killed anyone, I can't say that 100%. Either way, she'd be down for it if it was the only option.
Avery would 100% be down for murder. So would Ace. That's the Iris West influence right there. Those two kids are not afraid to get their hands dirty and, while I'm fairly certain they haven't yet, I have no doubt that they will. These two just inherited Iris' moral code and she's totally fine with homicide.
Jesse surprises me because she's gotta have killed someone. I'm wracking my brain and nothing comes to mind but I don't buy that for a second. She's just got that homicidal energy, you know? She's 100% done it and will again, I just can't remember when it was.
Tier 4 is the children. Now... to be clear. I'm not saying that they haven't killed anyone because they are children. No, I'm actually fairly positive they have killed a significant amount of people. I'm saying that they are children and therefore do not understand the concept of death. They don't really understand that they've killed people and I don't really think they are any more or less likely to kill again. Until they understand it they are just destructive forces of nature. No malice or intent. Just sheer raw power.
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laniemae · 1 month
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Not gonna get into danganronpa another spoilers because this whole scene is something else that I’m still processing but I absolutely love this line. Like to bring up milgram I think this is an idea which can reflect on lots of the characters as well. The idea of basing your entire existence off of a certain thing/person/ideology and then for something to happen that completely destroys that. Your entire person has been stripped away and just what’s left? You can’t comprehend your own existence or meaning without that specific attachment and you start to question all of your actions based off that…
I can only really think of John, Kotoko, and Es here (and possibly Amane and Mikoto to an extent). And John bases his life off of Mikoto, Kotoko upholding justice, and Es being the warden.
John’s idea of his whole existence and reason for being is Mikoto. It’s the only reason he believes he exists and if he were to fulfill his role he’d “disappear” as he would be completely worthless without him. John tries to repress and ignore his humanity and reduce himself as a tool to protect Mikoto and that’s all he can see himself as. But now Mikoto’s starting to not deny his existence and feels pure hatred for everything about him. And what will happen to John, when the person he’s dedicated his entire life to and desperately wants praise from, denies his existence? What will he be but some worthless existence that is only a burden, to him.
Kotoko. An ideology of upholding justice and punishing evil that has completely overtaken her. She has pushed herself into a role of a “fang” for justice, protecting the weak and persecuting evil. But even so matter how much she tries, she knows her goals are unreachable. She denies relationships and attachments to other people based on this ideology. Kotoko admits that she does feel attachment to the prisoners, but has to deny them in order to fulfill the role as a tool. And believes that pain and violence is necessary to achieving a greater good. Trying to deny any regret because wouldn’t it be easier to believe you’re entirely in the right? She latched onto Es, believing them to be similar as the warden who carries out judgement on wether the prisoners are forgivable or not. But now, Es has denied her whole ideology, her whole existence due to the pain she’s caused. Kotoko wants to believe that what she did was right and that Es, another enforcer of justice would accept her, because that’s how it is.
And Es… they’re the warden of the prison. There’s nothing more to them than that they believe. Es has no memories of their identity or past before Milgram and immediately latched onto the identity given to them, of being the guard. Es took this role as their entire identity, an extension of the milgram system in order to interrogate and judge prisoners. I think Muu put this best.
“Warden-san, we call you "warden" because that's what you are, right? And I was assigned the role of prisoner, but that doesn't mean I'm now nothing but a prisoner at heart, too. After all, I'm still me.”
Es has an unstable sense of identity, to the point they latched on to the first thing they were given in order to give themselves a purpose and a meaning for existence. And Kotoko calling them “imperfect caused them to question their identity. But as the story progresses Es will probably begin to learn about the audiences control and the truth behind what they assumed to be their verdicts. That their will never was 100% their own. Who knows what Es’ past was, but eventually they’ll likely have to tackle it and their whole identity, the warden, the arms of milgram, is gone.
gonna think about Mikoto and Amane here as well. Mikoto, although may not seem to be as first, focuses his entire identity around other people. He’s the friendly sociable guy who’s easy to chat with. But that’s all he believes he should be, I guess. As perhaps this mindset is upheld by an inherent fear of other people rejecting him, so he focuses all his attention and identity on being a social person. He’s never truly friends with people, as perhaps that would be “too close” and open up the possibility for danger. He doesn’t completely deny his identity like the others, but he molds and shapes it in a way that is acceptable to others. He likes what everyone else likes and does what everyone else does so the fear of being rejected for being different won’t hurt him. But now he’s stopped denying John’s existence and his DID, believing himself to be crazy, and to be completely rejected from other people, his entire sense of identity to an extent. And especially with John scaring other people off with the mindset that will help Mikoto, he has now been completely distanced from everyone else and now has to come to terms with himself, but not the ideal persona he put on to be acceptable to other people.
Amane is a more different case as she in a way has rejected that idea, but not completely. Growing up in a cult it’s very likely that she was always conditioned that she was just a servant for god. That all the good things she did were actually god blessing her and all the bad things a fault of her humanity, herself as a person. She is in a unstable relationship with the whole submitting her personhood to her religion, as she sacrificed her ideologies in order to help a cat. But at the core, that wasn’t about herself and her identity, rather a focus on the cat’s life. Amane’s murder was her will. Rejecting everything and fighting for her life in direct opposition to what she has been taught her entire life and how her identity should be, a rejection of that and a glance into “herself”. But once again, this murder wasn’t entirely self motivated. She’s still broken enough that she can’t fully grasp herself as a person besides god and religion. And a large cause of her murder was out of the death of the cat, rather than simply protecting herself. Amane still slips back into the belief that her personhood is entirely dedicated to god. As she tried to convince herself and Es that the only reason she killed is because they deserved religious punishment and she is in the right for carrying out god’s will, once again denying her personal reason for doing so. Reducing herself to “we” on behalf of her religion, that this isn’t herself anymore. Amane is in a limbo between rejecting her personhood for god, but at the same time rejecting the suffering she’s been through in order to save “herself”. Amane’s case is so interesting, as there’s no clear answer of what she believes in here, and it is truly fascinating.
#milgram#Milgram theory#milgram analysis#amane momose#mikoto kayano#john kayano#john milgram#kotoko yuzuriha#es milgram#uhhhh this was meant to be a quick analysis how did this turn into an exploration of the identities of 5 characters#And comparing it to a scene from dra which focused a lot around the loss of someone’s beliefs completely destroying their identity?#May analyse that scene directly because the whole philosophical and psychological concepts coming into play there is just soooo cool#and man I was kinda figuring out stuff as I was writing this but like I said it’s so interesting how Amane isn’t completely dedicated to go#Like the other characters I mentioned who have dedicated their whole identities to something#And Amane’s at the struggling between her true self and her perfect religious self#But perhaps she doesn’t entirely realise this conflict going on within#Which is interesting as a realisation of their identities would probably cause the other characters to lose it#But Amane it’s coming to her in a different way#She’s so strong uahhhahhajajshshshs#Tw cults#Ok now thinking about this more I’m starting to see this whole ideology apply to other dra characters as well#Man this is just so interesting#Like Kinji although having nowhere near as bad of a situation of amane was in a way forced to repress his emotions his entire life#Due to religious reasons and to devote his life to god and reject personhood#Surprisingly he’s actually not a bad person but still is very stoic and avoids other people due to being taught those values#And kinji’s a whole parallel to Tsurugi so this would be really interesting#I would talk about Tsurugi here but this is primarily a milgram post so for everything he’s like kotoko with a dedication to justice#But handles it in a very different way#His story is just way to long to analyse now#But hey this is an invitation to play (or watch bc downloading the game is hard technically) danganronpa another
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dipplinduo · 1 month
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So....TTPD is out.
...how in danger are we?
Yes. ✌️🤍
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lobotomyladylives · 28 days
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literally wanna dieeeee I realized belatedly that not only was down bad written for me due to being an alien abduction metaphor song but it perfectly describes my situation w/my ex who dumped me 3 days into our second vacation in his country
#but yknow thats what i get for dating a fucking man last year when i absolutely knew better. i was in a low place & the idea of being#whisked away from europe was an escape for me . we got along really well but the second i showed any emotional weakness he couldnt handle i#oh but he sent a bunch of messages begging me to come back when i was on the plane fleeing to my sisters london flat! lol!!!#i didnt tell you guys about any of this on my old blog when it was happening bc i just knew itd invite a flood of#''why were you even dating a man'' messages. yeah im aware. it was stupid & yet another result of my inability to purge myself of the#desire to be in a relationship my homophobic father wouldnt hate me for. and i didnt think any woman would want me . im over it now#fuck my abusive father fuck men in general im so over the internalized homophobia. ive always preferred women why should i have to#supress that to make my fuckface hypocrite father happy. i only rly care bc i love my half brother & want to be in his life which means#i have to appease dad. but at what goddamn cost#why did i say from europe in that earlier tag. i meant TO europe...im from the us#anyways. what a shit show situation that was. i have never felt so betrayed by anyone except for my dad himself#oh i didnt even mention the worst part yet. when i texted from london asking if our friendship was over too (god. so cringe) he then went#into this spiel about how actually what he said earlier when he was asking me to come back#(that it had been a stupid impulse & biggest mistake of his life) was a lie & it had been a long time coming#IF IT WAS A LONG TIME COMING WHY THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME FLY ACROSS THR ATLANTIC FUCKING OCEAN 3 DAYS AGO FOR YOU#and said hed tell me the reasons but ''didnt want to hurt me''#i have so much hatred in my heart for this man to this day when i really think about the mind games he was playing. unreal.#and he KNEW i already had massive trust issues
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softquietsteadylove · 6 months
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Hello! ✨
Something for the Thenamesh 10 Things AU!
What about some drama with Arishem. He heard a stupid rumor that his daughter Thena had some dirty time with a "bad boy" at a gas station or a workshop. Arishem was storming out of the house when Thena an Sersi came home and he yelled at her and grabbed her, trying to drag her into the house. And then, of course, Gilgamesh shows up and makes it even worse, because Arishem thinks he's this, in the rumor mentioned, "bad boy".
🖤✨Hugs and Love✨🖤
"Thena!"
Thena and Sersi both jumped as their father's voice rattled the air around them. Sersi stood from where she and Thena were sitting on the front step together. "F-Father, what-"
"Silence," the monstrous man stepped closer to them, forcing Thena to her feet with the pressure of his presence. He loomed over them. "Thena, I have heard rumours of you."
"What rumours?" she asked outright. It wouldn't do her any good to play stupid with her father. "Whatever it is, I'm certain it's false."
"Is that so?" he queried, leaning over his eldest daughter more. "I was told you went looking for...transportation."
Thena bristled.
"It is my understanding that you have formed an associative attachment with someone," Arishem paused, "less than reputable."
"Please say who you mean, Father," Thena asked, which was as good as wagging her finger and sassing him.
"Gilgamesh," Arishem spat out the name with distaste. "A young delinquent who will be lucky to graduate school, let alone attend a secondary education befitting of this family."
"And what does that have to do with anything?"
"You know the rules," he spoke deeply and evenly, eyes bearing down on Thena with her head directed at her shoes. "You do not let the common animals bed you, especially not the likes of unlawfuls."
"Father!" Sersi spoke up in a surprising bout of rebellion. "I don't know what you're talking about but Thena-"
"Was seen with this young man several times," Arishem concluded for his second daughter. And favourite, if Thena needed any more proof than this very conversation. "Including, entering and exiting his vehicle."
"I did not realise asking for a ride was strictly forbidden," Thena spoke up for herself again, which she had never done as much of in the past. But she managed to drag her eyes up to glare at her father, "truly I must be the whore of Babylon, then."
Arishem's eyes flared, only making his dark, devilish appearance even worse. "Enough."
"Father!" Sersi gasped.
"Inside," he snarled, gripping Thena's arm and dragging her up the rest of the stairs and towards the door.
"Hey!"
All three heads turned as a figure walked up the sidewalk and towards the house. "I don't know what the hell's happening, but let go of her."
Arishem stared down the young man walking towards him so brazenly. "You."
"Me," Gil made a face at him. Arishem's height didn't bother him, nor the sheer size of his figure, wide shoulders and monstrous limbs. Gil shrugged at him, moving his jacket with his hands inside the pockets.
Arishem looked down at Thena, in his clutches like a bird being shoved into a cage, "truly? This is with whom you wish to associate?"
"Father, please!" Sersi pleaded, tugging at his other sleeve in an effort to help her sister.
"Father?" he an even more sneering face at him. He walked up a few steps towards them. "You're their asshole of a dad?"
Arishem's spine straightened, each vertebra locking into place so he could glare down at the boy. "You have the audacity to address me so improperly?"
His eyes dashed down to the hand around Thena's arm. "I have a problem with anyone who handles their own kid like this."
"Gil, don't-!" Thena bit her lip as her father pulled her upwards, forcing her to stretch up with the impossible angle of her arm within his frighteningly high grasp.
"Gilgamesh," Arishem addressed, still holding onto Thena like an escaped convict. "I will say this only once: whatever claim to my daughter you think you possess, put it from your mind."
"Put it from my mind?" he repeated back as if he hadn't heard it the first time at all. "The fuck is wrong with you?"
Arishem brought his shoulders forward. "You-"
"No, you!" Gil belted back at him, jabbing his finger up in his face despite the difference in their height. Gil didn't back down in the least in the face of the monster of a man. "You listen to me, fuck-face! I don't care if you're their dad, I don't care if you spoon feed them from gold plates every single day! You don't handle them like this!"
Gilgamesh reached forward, taking advantage of the surprise on Arishem's face and grasped Thena's hand in his. He pulled faintly, but Arishem's grip hadn't loosened any.
His eyes looked as black as coal. "Unhand her."
"Stop hurting her," Gil barked right back at him. "I don't know what happened here, and I don't give a shit. She doesn't deserve this."
"Gil."
He looked at her, grief stricken by the whimper in her voice.
"Enough!" Arishem bellowed, his voice once again seeming like it could rustle the leaves in the trees. He let go of Thena, who stumbled like a fawn into Gil's offered support. "It seems I was right to deem you a lost cause."
"Who the hell talks about their own kid like that?"
"You," Arishem turned his attention back to Gilgamesh, whose hold on Thena's shoulders tightened. "If I ever lay my eyes on you again, your life in this town will cease to exist. Do you understand?"
Gilgamesh didn't even blink, holding Thena against his chest, "I understand that you're a prick who's lucky his daughters didn't turn out to be psychos too."
Perhaps with nothing more he could do to exercise control over the situation, Arishem turned and walked back into the house. The door slammed closed and Sersi's somewhat panicked breathing became more audible.
"Hey," Gil said gently, tipping Thena's chin his way, "are you okay?"
Thena just blinked, somewhat stunned by the past minutes.
"Thena!" Sersi rushed over to her, practically in tears. "I-I-I can't believe Father would-!"
Gil moved aside as Sersi threw her arms around her sister. Thena would never call herself a 'hugger' by nature, but Sersi was always the more emotional of the two of them. She patted her sister's back, "I'm okay."
Her eyes met Gil's, who still had quite a snarly look on his face. "Are you?"
Thena blinked before nodding, "I am."
Gil shifted on his feet, nodding his head in the direction of the front door, "are you gonna be okay going in there?"
Thena had her reservations, but their Father, at the very least, never dwelt on them for long. "I have no concern with what his opinion is of me. But don't worry, he would never expend the effort it would take to hurt me."
Gil eyed her arm--the one that had been wrenched upward in her father's grasp. "You sure about that?"
Sersi pulled herself away from Thena to offer a positively furious expression, no matter how tearful. "I cannot believe Father would act this way. I'm going to tell him that I will never forgive him for this!"
Thena nearly laughed, watching Sersi stomp her way into the house to give 'daddy' a piece of her mind. She rubbed her hands over her arms, "if it comes from Sersi, he is more apt to listen."
"Hey."
Thena looked at him as he placed his hands over hers, letting her guide his hands over her arms as well. She immediately thought of the hoodie that was inside, sitting on her bed waiting for her.
"Are you really okay?" he whispered, as if her father were lying in wait, listening. He ducked his head closer to hers, "you don't have to go in there. My Uncle would have no problem with you staying with us. He has a guest room!--and my room in the basement is-"
Thena smiled, tapping just the tip of her finger to his lips. She had never had the privilege of seeing Gilgamesh ramble on and on. It was endearing. "I am not afraid of my father, Gil, nor will I be afraid of walking into my own home."
"But-" he tried to protest, but she sealed his lips shut again.
"It is a sweet offer," she conceded. She never would have anticipated it, and it was almost humorous to imagine Gil just...showing up with her, like some stray he wanted to keep. "And I appreciate it. But I promise I will be fine here."
He sighed, obviously not in favour of leaving her here to whatever her father had in store for her. "Yeah?"
"Yeah," she echoed back to him, just to see a smile on his face. It was small, but it was there. "I'll come find you tomorrow--prove my living status to you."
He chuckled, stepping back from her with a roll of his eyes, "okay Princess, whatever makes you feel better."
This was very literally for his benefit. But she didn't mind that so much, "very well. Tomorrow, then."
Gil took the steps backwards, staring at her as he made his way back across the street, "looking forward to it."
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layzeal · 1 year
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i love wei wuxian for being the textbook definition of a "i'll burn that bridge when i get there" kind of guy, but it also does stress me out like a mother duck watching her duckings walk over metal grates
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quietwingsinthesky · 4 months
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OH RIGHT. rose. i was thinking about this because jack might be the one person who can actually put into words what was going on between the doctor & rose because he was there, he was in the middle of it. not that the information comes out easily, but he’s less avoidant of saying the words ‘he loved her’ than the doctor is. which. i just think it would be kind of sweet and sad for even to also for the first time actually connect the word to the feeling. that’s love. that’s what that is.
#it’s not that they didn’t. you know. love anyone before. objectively they did.#they just didn’t really connect that that. ‘love’. that’s what that was that made them act that way. that made them feel that way.#that made it hurt so much when they lost someone they were trying to keep with them.#and to understand now that that’s what was between the doctor and rose as well. and the beginning of understanding that. rose Is something#to them as well. (<- not information they know how to handle or what to do with.)#but what im actually saying here is. that because jack is the one who gives them that. because jack is so much built from love and memory.#man who references his ex-boyfriends constantly and fondly. who loves knowing he’ll lose the person he’s choosing now like everyone before.#does it anyway.#what im saying here is that when jack leaves. for whatever amount of time he’s joined up on the tardis taking a break from torchwood i guess#dealing with him and the doctor’s. Thing. as best they can (not very well)#what im saying is that when jack leaves. even pushes themselves into a hug with him and burrows close because they dont want him to leave.#of course they dont. they have like. three friends. and he’s one of them. and he’s leaving.#but this is important and he won’t stay. so they hug him. and they whisper. very very seriously. but softly. like they’re scared someone#will hear or they’ll mess up. they tell him that they love him. and that’s how they say goodbye.#dw oc
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running-in-the-dark · 3 months
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and I'm having thoughts again
so I've been watching that John Larroquette interview that I reblogged on repeat for half an hour now and I'm just. man I am so very....... okay I'm trying not to say that I'm stupid anymore but god what else is there to say. it's making me feel like my brain just turns off and all there is is static and [insert very high frequency screaming sound].
like I would love to be able to have actual thoughts about this shit but I am not. I just love love love people who think about shit and face their issues and work on getting better. and talk about it. like it's just a thing that happened. because it is. it's not 'oh you did bad shit in your past so you're fucked forever now'. it's 'bad shit happened, I did bad things, I confronted it, I made different choices' and that's it. I just. man I'm feeling really emotional and am probably gonna have a good long cry about this now.
#one thought that I had when my brain stopped just loudly screaming at me was#oh I totally always think I wouldn't ever end up in a cult. because it's not something that would appeal to me and shit. I'm suspicious of#anything like that. one person claiming to know everything and all that#and it just hit me like. DUDE. you would absolutely 100% end up in a cult if the right guy was leading it#like if he had a cult that I could join right now? oh dude I'd be so in. kinda joking but also like. come on I am so fucking obsessive I#would absolutely fall for that#(and lets not even get into the whole thing of actually getting attention from the person I'd be obsessed with. oh it'd be bad. it'd fuck#me up. I'd be so easy to convince if we're being honest....)#but anyway I just. I don't know#honestly though? I just love studying one person at a time from afar like. hi I would immediately explode if I ever met this man I could not#handle it. but I can absolutely find out everything I can about him and study him like. something that normal people would study idk I'm#insane.#anyway man that was a weird tangent#true tho.#I don't want to make light of actual addictions like alcoholism. I'm not. addicted I guess. but I'm absolutely fucking obsessive about shit#and I absolutely know it cannot be healthy to keep doing this#like dude you have no life because all you do is watch other people live theirs. why am I studying this man's life like it matters. it's not#making anything better. knowing every damn thing he did in the 80s will not make up for the fact that I don't have. anything.#fuck now I'm really crying oh well this really took a weird turn#fuuuuck.#personal
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sage-nebula · 5 months
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I've decided to make my own post because I am not an idiot, but full disclosure that this post is 50% based on thoughts I was having while I was driving home from the auto repair shop yesterday and 50% a response to a post I saw just now that conflated "redemption arcs" (things fictional characters go through in fictional stories) with "community support" (things real life people offer to other real life people in real life) and how this relates to "fixing people" (making someone who mistreats or abuses themself or others not mistreat or abuse themself or others anymore).
Read my words very carefully.
In fiction, it is more than okay to like whatever type of toxic or fantastical relationship you want. If you like to read stories about toxic, codependent people who are absolutely horrible to one another and will never, ever change, you read those stories. If you like to read stories about a tortured man who just needs The Right Person to teach him to be better, and then he is, sometimes exclusively only to them though, then you read those stories. Sometimes you want to read stories where the main character says "I can fix him" and fails spectacularly, and sometimes you want to read stories where the main character says "I can fix him" and succeeds spectacularly, and either way, you read whatever stories you want, whatever makes you happy, I'm sure it's somewhere in this vast Archive that we call Our Own.
However, in real life?
First of all, "arcs" aren't things real life people have. An arc is something that has a beginning, a middle, and an end. Real life people don't have those, because our stories don't end until we die. Unlike a character, whose life presumably continues even after their story ends (except in circumstances where they die at the end but you know what I mean), we have to keep living day by day, with all the rises and falls that come with it. Now, this does not mean that a person cannot change, or that a person can't get better and learn from their mistakes; but it DOES mean that we can't have a "redemption arc" where we complete a checklist of story beats and then suddenly we're a better person who has experienced the necessary growth to be forgiven. First off, no amount of growth or change ever requires any victims to forgive. And second, that's just not how life works. That's not how change works. Change and growth are baby steps taken each day, and sometimes you go backwards, and you get angry with yourself, but then you pick yourself up and you try again the next day, and the next, and the next. It's an ongoing journey that does not end until you die. That's life.
But second and more importantly, the real idea that I think the original post was trying to get at, but missing the mark on was . . . okay.
So, the original OP of the post (and the person who replied to OP) got angry at the idea that the strawman they had invented (the person who had theoretically said "you can't fix him!") would deny support to someone who needs that help to grow and change as a person. The person who had replied in support of OP added that the strawman clearly believed in punitive justice over rehabilitative justice as well. On the surface, I can see where they are coming from. After all, on the whole humans are a social species and do need support networks in order to not only thrive, but survive. People such as drug addicts need support and assistance in order to get into better places in their lives, and the prison system has been proven to be far less effective at preventing repeated offenses than rehabilitative programs. This is all true.
However.
The reason why "you can't fix them" is still true, and needs to be said and understood particularly by those who are susceptible to falling into abusive relationships (e.g. people who have been abused before, particularly in childhood or adolescence) is because of free will. Specifically, the free will that each of us has, but specifically the other person. Person A can want so, so, so badly to "fix" Person B so that they stop being an abusive alcoholic 75% of the time. But if Person B doesn't actually want to stop being an abusive alcoholic (even if they say they do during the 25% of the time they aren't smacking Person A around), and refuses to put in the work that it takes to become sober and be a better person, then guess what? Nothing Person A does will ever make them be a sober, non-abusive partner. They will be unable to fix Person B. It doesn't matter how much time, energy, money, or commitment they pour into that person. It doesn't matter how much they genuinely, honestly, earnestly love them. Because unless Person B wants to change, and will put the work into doing so, then they will not change, and Person A, for their own health, safety, and sanity, needs to exit that relationship.
Now, does that mean that if, ten years down the line, Person B decides they are ready to put in the work to get their alcoholism under control, no one should help them? Of course not! They should absolutely be put in touch with sober counselors, support groups, medical professionals, friends and family who can help them. Person A could potentially forgive them, if Person A chooses. But that willingness to change and put in the work has to come from within Person B first.
I've been in the position where I've seen people in awful situations just tanking their lives, people I loved and cared about, people I begged to just listen to me and get help, only for them to not . . . and ultimately I had to accept that I couldn't fix them. I could be there to offer support when they were ready to fix themselves, but the core work that needed to be done had to come from within themselves. I couldn't provide that. Not because I was inadequate, not because I didn't love them, but because I couldn't force them to do anything they didn't want, or weren't ready, to do.
So at the end of the day, "you can't fix them" isn't about not giving support. It's about recognizing your limitations as a human being. It's about knowing that:
You cannot force someone to do something they do not want to do.
You cannot force someone to do something they are not ready to do.
Not being able to help or save someone is not a moral failing of yours.
Not being able to help or save someone does not mean you do not love or care about them.
Providing support should never come at risk of your own health and safety, physical or otherwise.
When you love someone, it can be really hard to accept this. You think, "I know I can make them want to try. I know I can inspire them to want to change. I know they love me, so if I just love them a little harder, they will want to change." Nine times out of ten, though, that is just not true. And if someone is abusing you, it is not worth the literal risk to your life to keep trying. You are worth more than that. You are more than just someone else's band-aid.
Keep yourselves safe in 2024.
#not an abuse scenario but: my mom died of covid-19#it's relevant to this discussion bc she was a trump-supporting republican who refused to get vaccinated#bc the far-right propaganda shows she watched told her the vaccine ''wasn't a real vaccine''#and i know this bc when i literally BEGGED MY PARENTS to get the vaccine my mother LAUGHED IN MY FACE and TOLD ME ''it's not a real vaccine#so anyway both my parents got it. my father almost died from it#my mom seemed like she was doing much better . . . except she CONTINUED to smoke heavily while both having covid#and recovering from covid#and once again i said hey don't you think you should not smoke cigarettes while recovering from a serious respiratory disease#and once again she laughed at me#anyway 2 months later her heart gave out in her sleep and she died#bc her body couldn't handle the stress of the cigarettes + alcohol (she was also an alcoholic) after covid had done its thing to her#she was only 56yo#so this was a case where i wanted to fix my mother. i tried so hard. and i've similarly tried to fix my father (who is still alive)#but i can't! my dad almost died and my mom DID die and my dad STILL won't get the vaccine#I HAVE BEGGED THIS MAN. WHO IS NOW 73. TO GET VACCINATED. AND HE STILL WILL NOT.#you can't fix people!!! you can't!!! you can offer them support if they want to fix themselves#you can help them fix themselves but you can't fix them. you just can't. no matter how much you love them#and in abuse cases it can be really fucking dangerous to keep trying.#anyway. that's my TED talk. thanks for attending or w/e it is they say
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didsomeonesayventus · 10 months
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thinking about how way to dawn really was like the most iconic keyblade ever that so neatly summarized riku's journey and ideals and had so much meaning and history and so uniquely his and kh3 really threw it away for a fucking car key
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aberooski · 9 months
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omg. a jaden castles crumbling edit is all i've been able to think about since july 7!!! i don't have tik tok but i have to go find this
SAME ANON!
The first thing I thought about when I heard the song the first time was "this is so Jaden coded 😭" and I haven't been able to put it out of my mind! The bridge in particular has been haunting me in a certain kinda way ever since.
And you're in luck, my anon friend! I saved the file so I can provide!
The idea of course being that the bridge in particular always stood out to me as Jaden coded because of the duel with Brron in season 3 and the um......events that transpire....
This is probably one of the most upsetting edits I've ever made imo, this duel was the first time GX made me actually cry the first time I watched the show. This whole season is so emotionally draining honestly but this shit man 🥲
This was the moment Jaden's castle came crumbling down.
#augh this whole episode man 😭 this whole arc 😭 castles crumbling is sooooooo jaden coded 😭😭😭😭#anyways I hope you like it anon! 🙂#and fr especially the way that the squad's emptions were being amplified and exacerbated by the runes which caused them to really go at jay-#-like that just makes it all so much more upsetting somehow#because I mean they were all well within their rights to be upset with jaden for what was going on and how he-#-had been handling everything thus far not really taking them into account as far as it seemed to them#and jaden was just trying to protect everyone but was also so laser focused on finding jesse he did just kinda brush everybody off#and wasn't listening to their imput and how they were trying to help but also be smart about things and he was just rushing into things#and poor sy didn't even have the full context of what was going on during that duel so it really looked to him and jim and axel-#-that jay was more the cause of everyone dying than he actually was. which then the turmoil sy feels seeing his friends killed-#-seemingly because of jaden and the ~doubt~ he feels that's making him so conflicted is only being exacerbated and amplified by....#say it with me folks! the wicked rune!#augh it's just a terrible situation all around 😭#but this was the moment where jaden's castle came crumbling down.#yugioh#yugioh gx#jaden yuki#alexis rhodes#atticus rhodes#tyranno hassleberry#chazz princeton#syrus truesdale#aberooski asks#answered
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eletainart · 7 months
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Ben Christo, the man, the myth, the legend. The sweetest most wonderful guy I had the pleasure of meeting ❤️
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Brought him art for his little band Diamond Black to the Sisters of Mercy concert. The way this guy lights up the room with his smile, how thankful he was, proudly showing my original drawing to his friends when signing it.
I'll treasure this meeting forever, especially the hug I have gotten at the end which he initiated. If you're ever going to a concert he plays, well worth it to wait if he shows up later in the club. This man is a literal sunshine, I really couldn't be happier.
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May both sides of his pillow be cold, may he get a free snack from a vending machine. Manifesting all the good things his way.
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Also him not knowing where to sign the drawing because he didn't want to 'ruin' it by his signature Sir! It's a mere silly little chibi, you'll make me cry, I swear!
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breezybeej · 28 days
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hm
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waywardsalt · 1 year
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uuuhhhhh wrote a segment of the ganonbeck thing on my phone (this whole thing isnt written on my phone i just have future scenes hashed out on phone) so i figured id share it for: giving a snippet of it bc why not, and to maybe get some feedback on writing ganondorf and the specific concept he talks about?
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(this isnt indicatives of the whole fic just a scene delving into ganondorf’s personal conflicts and a little bit of worldbuilding or something. would appreciate some feedback or tips or whatever on this since im not sure if. i wrote this idea well. also hope its generally interesting/fun to read)
#salty talks#tbh tho i think this does kinda set up the dynamic between them and why ganondorf is drawn to linebeck maybe#linebeck is. hes funny in a good mood. he helps lighten ganondorfs mood and helps him disengage from serious stuff#he is also supportive of him fucking killing the king of hyrule. but hes mostly someone that helps ganondorf loosen up#ganondorf is this cunning wise man who holds lofty ambitions and is influenced by the history of his people and lets it motivate him#and linebeck is the image of the cat with the label ‘father i crave violence’ hes a lil ooc and chaotic but he thinks the hylian king sucks#this fic is mostly a lighthearted gay little thing where theyre both in lighter moods exploring the desert#but does have snippets like this about ganondorfs discontent with the hylian kingdom and linebeck struggling with his mental health#making it so it doesnt really exist in a vacuum and can feed into a possible future longer au fic idea#tbh been leaning into linebeck having a similar distaste for the hylian monarchy to ganondorf and carrying it into post ph#which fits in neatly with the headcanon that he is half gerudo so. pieces fitting together#this is mostly unedited btw so if it comes off as rough then yeah. its a first draft#topical with people talking more about the uncomfy way the zelda games approach imperialism n stuff#so i mostly worry about how i write about it here cuz its a concept im still new to and not sure how to really approach#if you saw the version with the images in the wrong order no you didnt#but seriously please let me know how i did writing what ganondorf talks about handling him is scary to me and i want to do good#ganonbeck#linebeck#ganondorf#they are tagged now rejoice
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nickywhoisi · 1 year
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pizzasuba
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Hey PT fandom come get y'alls juicey fucked up italian meow meow
When I remembered this anime (and honestly why wouldn't you??), I knew exactly what I had to post next. You know me, I'll probably ink and colour this later. I wish I had some digital art tools to really make this look like a screenshot. It'd be pretty cool if someone else wanted to take a crack at it! For now, I bumrushed the idea out of my goof brain. The face was all studied carefully from a youtube clip, no tracing no scope baybeeeeeeeeeee
i hope nobody will notice that i can't draw guns for shit wwwwwww
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