#he wouldnt mind he just. does not think.

[couch-house]

i'm running an old man yaoi/old woman yuri poll on my main and the yuri train has been holding strong. and if anyone knows my favorite dumb jokes to post abt, you'll know He Doesn't Know

[lazycranberrydoodles]

english translation book 5 baby we are in the ‘people assuming kid form hua cheng is xie lian’s son’ era 🔥🔥🔥 / follow for more hualian silliness

[lunarharp]

..polly pocket au.. (<- a type of doll.)

[oceanwithouthermoon]

long as fuck nails always painted with at least a clear coat club:

saiki kusuo

teruhashi kokomi

kaido shun

saiko metori

imu rifuta

nail biters club:

kuboyasu aren

yumehara chiyo

arisu makino

suzumiya hii

nendo riki

aiura mikoto (with fake nails over top)

(formerly) kaido shun

(formerly) toritsuka reita

(formerly) akechi touma

normal short nails 🙄:

hairo kineshi

mera chisato

satou hiroshi

toritsuka reita

akechi touma

[theotherrichardpapen]

...because any moment may be our last. everything is more beautiful because we're doomed.

[vickorydickorydock]

The Ravenpaw as Scourge aus are awesome but hear me out: Tallstar as Scourge au.

I can see this going two ways:

One, Talltail decides to stay with Jake. He makes an effort to live Jake’s lifestyle, but he really isn’t built to be a kittypet. He loves Jake, but when he can’t handle being in the house or around Twolegs anymore, he spends a lot of time exploring and getting used to Twolegplace. He ends up meeting the strays and alley cats that live there, and he’s appalled by the way they’re forced to live.

Some cats band together, and some cats control territories like Jay and her crew, but it’s mostly every cat for themself. The old and sick don’t have anyone to turn to, and there are constant fights over scraps. Talltail left to get away from Clan life, but he ends up introducing clan ideas. He makes allies, then friends, and starts to (accidentally) build his own clan where cats look out for each other. Cats look up to him, and life for the strays of Twolegplace becomes a lot less short and miserable.

He takes Tiny under his wing when the time comes, and wrecks Tigerstar’s shit when he comes sniffing around. Talltail and Jake live happily to ripe old age.

Two, the much darker option. Talltail does kill Sparrow, but it doesn’t fix anything. He still feels angry and lost, only now he’s alienated the visitors and Jake, and feels he cannot go back to his clan. He spends several seasons just wandering alone, struggling to survive, until eventually he winds up back in Twolegplace near the clans.

He’s a trained fighter, with a skill-set that makes him a fierce enemy, and he quickly gains a reputation. He acts as a vigilante almost, hunting down despicable cats and doling out his own brand of justice to those who "deserve it," because he hates seeing cats like Sparrow get away with things. He's like a vigilante avenger turned scary urban legend. This eventually goes much the way of Scourge’s path, with Talltail gathering a following and killing any cat who gets in his way, except he believes he's doing what is right.

Tigerstar, not knowing they’re led by a former clan cat, recruits the fearsome Bloodclan to help him take over the forest by telling Talltail (going by Scourge?) that the other clans are evil and need exterminating. Talltail seems to agree, but Tigerstar doesn't realize he's playing with fire. When Tigerstar's crimes are revealed, Talltail brutally murders him.

Windclan (and the rest of the forest tbh) is in for a shock when Barkface recognizes Talltail.

[carcarrot]

do i really want to make individual drinks again

[youareunbearable]

I might not do anything with this BUT I've been thinking about the Shadow of Mordor games again and how FUN would it be if Sauron did that but instead of bringing back Celebrimbor he uses his necromancy magic to bring back Maedhros

An imposingly tall figure, all done up in Sauron's spikey black armor, instead of his mace there is a wicked black blade where a right hand should be. He roams at the front of the Nazgul, blade at the ready as the other holds the reigns to a monstrous horse

People are terrified, thinking that Sauron himself is roaming the wilds, he stalks the Fellowship, nothing seems to stop him only delay him. Gandalf isn't sure its Sauron himself, but something about him under all that twisted and dark and evil song sings pure, like a dull flicker of white flame, like a weak candle.

When Boromir dies, that figure is with the orcs, it isnt the one to slay Boromir, but turns away and it seems to know where the ring is. The orcs are too focused on Merry and Pipin to follow the Figure, but he walks off. He stands on the shores as Frodo and Sam shiver in the Swan boat, but it does nothing but watch them as they sail off. It makes no motion to follow them or attack their small boat, just watch transfixed. Sam makes a comment that it looks like the Figure's armor makes it almost like it has a metal collar around its neck and cuffs on its wrists

During the battle of Helm's Deep, that Figure is back again, silently leading the siege. At one point, an Elven arrow hits the Figure's helm, knocking it a little loose and from under the helm tumbles a single red lock of hair. Its so red that almost looks like a smoldering flame. Haldir, who lives with the survivors of Doriath, sees that red hair, that tall stature, the handless right wrist and pales. While he wasn't there to witness the destruction of Doriath, he has heard the tales, he knows about the red haired monster that haunts the memories of the Sindar, and he knows what that Figure is capable of. Luckily, that Figure manages to catch a glimpse of Aragorn, and Freezes once again, a single stone that cuts through the rushing current of orcs all around him. Haldir doesn't see it again, but then again, Haldir doesn't see much of anything again.

(The Figure sees Gandalf on the hill, arriving with the dawn and reinforcments and it grieves, something in it breaks all over again but the magic puppeting its moves doesn't allow it to dwell. The helm is readjusted and the hair is tucked away and the Figure turns and leaves the battlefield. Its being summonded somewhere else.)

The war rages on, the Witch King is dead, but so is King Theoden. The Figure is trapped, the right wrist is pinned under the corpse of an oliphant and Elrond's sons watch as the Figure struggles before lying still. It's clearly not dead, but realizing it's trapped.

Aragorn and Legolas and Gimli join the twins. Gimli offers to thrust his axe in its chest, Legolas insists that he can shoot through its eye from a safer distance. Aragorn, who heard Haldir's frantic pleas during his final moments, just observes the Figure.

He notices the strange collar, how it clearly has cuffs on its wrist and feet, like it used to be shackled and chained.

"Can you speak?" He asks it.

The Figure does nothing but turn its helm towards Aragorn. They stare at each other for a few tense moments.

One of the twins, Aragorn still isn't fully sure which one, approches the Figure slowly. The Figure's helm is still directed at Aragorn.

"It feels familiar." The one twin whispers, voice raw from exertion. "It has a fea, it feels warm."

"Like uncle Erestor. Or Lindir." The other twin agrees.

The Figure turns its helm towards the twins at the mention of Erestor. The twin closest to the Figure, quick as an adder, jabs a polearm at the Figure's helm.

It snaps back, the helm tumbling off the Figure's head and those smoldering red locks fan out around the head, obscuring the face from view.

Even without seeing the face it's clearly an Elf. An abused one at that if one just looks at the notches missing from it's pointed ears. The polearm is back, nudging under where a chin should be to lift the face.

First, all that is seen is scars. So many that pull the once handsome face, for even under all its marring one can tell from the bone structure that this was a face that could launch a thousand ships, into a grotesque manner. But it is the eyes, the eyes that makes everyone suck in a breath.

These eyes glow, they glow with power, with light never been seen before, or well, haven't been seen in Ages. These grey eyes glow with the reflected light of the Two Trees, long since felled.

"Oh, Maitimo," Gandalf, who had wandered up the the group, sighed with tremendous sorrow. "What has become of you?"

Maitimo, or Maedhros as those in the Third Age know him as, tries to speak. His lips move, which brings attention to the fact that they are loosely sewn together with a black cord that seems to pull and ooze blood, never letting the wounds heal. His voice croaks, dry with misuse, but he manages a sound, a breath, perphaps even a word. Each syllable like a dying wheeze. He repeats the sound, again and again, almost becoming frantic with his wheezing chants, blood spilling down his chin from the threads, until it's understandable.

"Necromancer."

[wr0ngwarp]

um. uh. hi every body. something evil and malevolent happened in my brain this month.

this is. um. a Jet Set Radio/Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Death joke AU, spawned out of a in-joke that started in a pokepasta discord. my apologies to both the pokepasta and jsr fandoms

the entire basis is the idea that Corn in Future retconned og JSR Beat as leader/founder of the GGs (is beat being leader in the og even CANON?) so Corn and Beat are the Myras. no it's not a joke funny enough to justify how many hours i sunk into drawing these. no attempt was made to change the setting, assign most of the other cast, or otherwise make this au hold up to ANY amount of scrutiny. if i tried to make this actually work somehow then i'd REALLY end up too far gone. also i keep calling myrtle!beat "Meat".

MEANWHILE, IN A BETTER UNIVERSE:,

[gloopdimension]

Pongorma often thinks he knows what is the precisely right thing to do regarding his offspring but he.. *is* still a first time full-on parent.

[upsidedowngrass]

im thinking abt liam and bryce SO much rn now. theyre dynamic is so. sorry liam. sorry bryce

[toytulini]

I think making sweeping generalizations of specific traits being considered "ugly" is not great the same way i think its rude and unnecessary to call others ugly, i also think its worthwhile to acknowledge that certain traits ARE considered "Ugly" due to societal beauty standards, that doesn't make them ACTUALLY ugly, bc beauty is subjective anyway, and can be found Anywhere, and even someone who seems to tick every single box of societal beauty Ideals will almost certainly have at least one trait or feature about their appearance that they are insecure about or feel is "ugly", bc even within the constraints of conventional attractiveness theres subjectivity

also this fish was so fucking Ugly and i adored it so much. i miss him.

he was also gorgeous.

[xoshepard]

fucking vindication man

my sister was just minding her business in the basement eating breakfast and my stepdad came down and asked "why do you have the light on" and she was like "so i can see?" and the thing about my stepdad is that he's incapable of softening his tone (and will pretend he doesnt understand that his tone is aggressive even though he can understand when YOUR tone is aggressive/rude) so even an innocuous question like that sounds like an attack, so my sister's response was also super subdued and irritated. this isn't the first time an exchange like that has happened but it was the first time that he kinda hesitated and was like "wait what did i just say that upset you?" and she started to speak like she was going to explain, then thought better of it and just said "it's nothing"

LIKE YEAH DUDE. WHEN YOU CREATE AN ENVIRONMENT WHERE PEOPLE FEEL LIKE THEY CONSTANTLY HAVE TO EXPLAIN THEMSELVES TO YOU AND AT THE SAME TIME THEY CAN'T BE COMFORTABLE BRINGING UP THINGS YOUVE DONE OR SAID TO UPSET THEM WITHOUT YOU JUST ARGUING WITH THEM TO JUSTIFY HOW THEYRE WRONG FOR BEING UPSET AND YOUVE NEVER DONE ANYTHING WRONG, THEN PEOPLE ARENT GONNA FUCKIN TALK TO YOU. ITS SO SIMPLE.

[felidthing]

redstar as leader is like realizing your teacher who everyone within a few years older than you has had and loved suddenly revealed he was deeply xenophobic and believed your country had to establish dominance over its neighbors to keep it safe

[bi-mirandalawson]

usonami. is it platonic ? is it romantic ? they dont even know.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...