#he'd be terrible at them

[thelittlestspider]

i think the best thing about raimi peter was him going through a ton of jobs during college and getting fired from all of them.

[alienoresimagines]

*After Bucky once again used a military vehicle to drive Buck around*

Harding : Bucky, this can't go on. It's inappropriate use of military property. I'm revoking your access to the jeep.

Bucky : But I need it to drive to the runway after a mission !

Harding : *sighs* *sees Buck anxiously waiting behind Bucky*

Harding : Alright, you can keep the jeep. But no Buck.

Buck and Bucky : What ?!

Harding : No Buck.

Bucky : No Buck ? 😟

Harding : No Buck.

Buck : No Buck ? 🥺

Harding : ...

Harding : Christ's sake, just use the damn jeep for strictly military use

[redrobin-detective]

Listen, I'm not done on absolute batshit shenanigans with Lockwood & Co plus Skull.

Imagine this, its late at night, they're chasing down a dangerous specter. They come across an abandoned Night Cab, the driver likely fleeing the terror and decide to commandeer it. None of them are at the legal driving age in Britain and -despite all the laws they break - they are all very concerned about this. They turn to Skull who is being bounced around a plastic shopping bag because they'd been in a rush leaving the house. Not only is he a few years older than them biologically but he's also like, over a century lol.

He and Lucy bicker in the street for a minute while the others listen awkwardly to the one sided debate. Skull gives in so the five of them pile into the car and Lucy straps the half broken into the front seat with the belt across him. Skull - being a dead Victorian boy with NO idea how to drive a car or how traffic laws work but also an agent of chaotic evil - makes an absolute mess of driving.

The kids are screaming in the car as it speeds through the streets, skids through hairpin turns, probably runs red lights and breaks people's side mirrors on purpose. The police are on them before long, Lucy is hissing at Skull to just keep going even as the little shit puts on his hazards and pulls off to the side. Imagine you are the officer walking up to that dented, haggard looking cab.

It is positively coated in frost, one of the few visible signs of an active haunting. You peer inside to find 4 brightly smiling youths with grave dirt on their cheeks and rapiers across their laps. Agents, obviously but with no adult supervisor in sight. One darling, pretty girl bats her eyelids and asks is there is problem because they really are in quite the hurry. You look down to find the car is driving seemingly by itself, the wheel and radio dial turning on its own. There is an old looking, cracked skull buckled into the drivers seat. One girl in the back is grinning unsettling wide because she is the only one who can hear the skull explaining to the officer that he was just taking his children to the sacrifice pit to offer them as tribute to his dark lord. You decide this is well above your pay grade and wish the agents and their?? driver???? a good night. As they drive off, you decide its finally time to take up your brother's offer and move out with him to Australia. Britain just gets weirder every year.

[gildedmuse]

Listen.... Trafalgar Law is like Opposite Pick Me Girl.

Evidence:

He stole Doffy's whole look down to the shirtless sluttiness, feather coat and the earrings.

He COPIED DOFFY'S ACTIVATION METHOD. How "notice me, senpai!!" is THAT!?

Like Doflamingo, he acts as though your attempts at torturing him are absolutely precious.

Law straight up based his jolly roger on Doffy's. Like it's not even kinda subtle. (Not that Law does subtle. Which is weird for someone trying SO HARD to be dark, mysterious, and edge-y as Kikoku. )

Trafalgar spent years of his life travelling around the world, gaining notoriety and power, putting into place a series of intricate moving parts that all had to come together in just the right way all so Doflamingo would notice him and remember his face forever.

Law: Please, Young amaster-sama! Oh, please pick me!

Law: To kick your pathetic, subhuman ass.

[Thanks to @revlischarm who gave me this idea.]

[stop-ugly]

I finally watched the ballad of songbirds and snakes and I don't like it sending the message that being hot is an excuse for any crime 😕

[tswwwit]

i love love love the truth curse fic so much, especially how dipper twists it so that he can still irritate bill with it.

it does make me think though, there was one smut fic where it was mentioned that if bill could he would rip all of dippers fantasies out of his head and use them against him.

part of me wants bill to ask for even just one or two bedroom fantasies while dipper is forced to blab the truth just so bill can abuse the fuck out of whatever idea dipper comes up with

and part of me wants the curse fixed, everything back to normal and no more truth telling. with dipper and bill relaxing after everything, maybe even a few days pass. before bill just loudly and out of the blue shouts ‘FUCK!’ as he realized he missed a great opportunity and now its too late.

I can guarantee you that Bill has that 'FUCK' moment afterwards! Turns out that too many Shenanigans in the interim kind of interrupted his train of thought - and Dipper's a little too clever to be caught by ham-handed or distracted questions. Too bad, Bill; you didn't get to pick Dipper's brain nearly as much as you wanted.

[eff-plays]

Yyeaahh I am not of the twee Astarion lover variety I don't think the guy would be a very good father I'm sorry.

HE WOULDN'T BE BAD. But probably not great? Just sort of a deeply mediocre dad. At best.

Maybe after a couple hundred years of medieval fantasy therapy first he'd be fine. Ish. I think it would depend on when he had them tbh.

I do enjoy thinking about it though. Like trying to solve a Rubik's cube but it's a fictional guy.

[i3utterflyeffect]

on the phone:

"excuse me, but are The Chosen One and The Dark Lord your kids?"

"huh? Uh yeah... Are they in trouble? Did something happen?"

*deep inhale* "Yeah, you could say that. They've been terrorizing the internet for months now. Did you seriously not know??"

"THEY WHAT. Listen, I am so sorry for the issues they've cause. Thank you for letting me know about this, they are in huge trouble."

in all honesty he'd probably already be EXTREMELY thrown off by someone asking 'hey are you their dad' but just. it's such a funny scenario that i'll allow it

anyway that has to be a hell of a way to find out your two creations have been wanted criminals in the outernet ever since you first created them

[masked-and-doomed]

Faut guilt gear in those tier lists on Reddit is always a 50/50 if they really know him (my interpretation is correct after all sneek snork) or if they don't understand the man's core.

The best tierlists are where Faut and Chaos are in the same tier (Yuri) and it's accurate (seen like 3. God bless my darlings.)

This one is blatantly wrong like. HAVE YOU SEEN STRIVE STORY MODE. Clasped hands. You think Chaos' favourite drink is whiskey. I'm not saying milpico has to be his favourite but if he used that drink to explain stuff, (serves a purpose in telling his story! Gotta be high up for him) I'd say he'd like that drink, and perhaps other similar drinks a damn lot.

Faut's favourite is also whiskey. Al. Alright man sure whatever man I. Whatever whateverr even.

[sysig]

Let me chew you out a little, since we have a couple minutes (Patreon)

[Panel 1] Prismo: *mumble* *mumble*

[Panel 2] Prismo: *mumble*

[Panel 3] Simon: Hmph. “Just because it’s in your head-”

[Panel 4] Simon: “-Doesn’t mean it’s yours,” huh?

[Panel 5] Simon: Give me all the responsibility with none of the privileges?

[Panel 6] Simon: And then you get mad at me for trying to pick up your slack? Prismo: Hey...

[Panel 7] Simon: Clearly you already expect that much from me!

[Panel 8] Prismo: Hey, hey! I did the best with what I had! I didn’t expect any of this!

[Panel 9] Simon: And yet you didn’t even consider telling me, so we could’ve avoided this?

[Panel 10] Prismo: It’s not like I could’ve just- taken it out! I was locked out!

[Panel 11] Simon: You could’ve done something!

[Panel 12] Simon: Instead you let my life spiral around this thing, kept me tethered to Ice King’s Madness-

[Panel 13] Prismo: Fionna and Cake are real thou- Simon: NOW you tell me! After I find out for myself!

[acourtofquestions]

Is it just me or is “The Blue” by Gracie Abrams SO Elriel coded?😭🥹

[buwheal]

Dont apologize !! !!,, loll, theres far more i can do with this route anyways !! !! Im actually quite glad they chose the much nicer route, they couldve learnt more, yes, but i think the ones who wanted to go that route were trying to attempt to shatter that delusion,, uh, which wouldnt happen. //at all// . maybe a /small/ amount if i think they did it ABSOLUTELY perfectly, which was NOT going to happen lmaoo, especially with the asks that begin that route. That delusion, if im gonna be 100% honest here, is probably one of the things keeping him going. They are NOT going to be his therapist ab it either,, i think the chance of breaking that delusion is far far gone at this point. ALSO NEVER APOLOGIZE ABOUT YAPPING IN THE TAGS ITS LIKE MY FAVORITE THING EVER PLEEEAAASSEE I ENCOURAGE IT!!!!!!! TELL ME YOUR THOUGHTS!!!!!! READING THE TAGS IS LIKE ONE OF MY FAV PARTS EVER WAAGGHHH I <3 YOU TAG RAMBLERS I <3 YOU PEOPLE WHO LEAVE TAGS AT ALL!!! <- it also helps me monitor what you have and havent figured out or noticed through observation :-3

[todayisafridaynight]

Why not combine them? You could post about MineDai eating pasta! Does Mine bulk with pasta? Does Daigo have a favorite pasta dish? Do they cook it together for a date night? Does Daigo even know how to boil water?? (Genuinely if you have any interest in posting about this please do, would read)

mine could, in fact, be the one who makes daigo pasta with a lil olive oil and salt and parmesan youre right ......

[byfulcrums]

To add a little more to that post about how peaches represent SWK and Mac's relationship:

In the mountain, Macaque is the one to crush the peach in his hand. He offered it to Sun Wukong, and when he didn't accept it and instead yelled at him, he destroyed it and threw it on the ground

In the end, it was Macaque who left first, not the other way around. Now, their broken relationship isn't completely his fault, but he did play a part on it

SWK screamed at him when he tried to mend their friendship, so instead of trying again, he left. That's what broke their relationship for good. Not Sun Wukong yelling, not Liu'er Mihou not looking for him, but Macaque leaving and (as far as we know) not coming back. La gota que colmó el vaso, we could say. Stuff had already been going on between those two. SWK never seemed to genuinely listen to Macaque and his promises of staying forever were empty (he never would've been able to stay in one place for so long) and Macaque never even bothered to communicate his negative feelings over this, so when he warned him he was ignored

Sun Wukong left again and again and again, looking for more power to "be strong enough to protect them", and eventually he lost sight of why he was doing it. But no matter how many times he left, he came back. Macaque didn't

[demonsfate]

i don't think i could ever truly be a pessimist. yes, life is full of a lot of hurt, a lot of bad. but then you read stories about ppl going above & beyond for others, ppl doing what seems like the impossible for their loved ones, and it just... it's hard to be pessimistic. love is indeed real, goodness is indeed real. hatred & negativity are such powerful emotions, they tend to blind you from how much love the world has. yes, life is hard, and life can be messed up. but there is always positivity, too. there is always something worth living for; no matter how small, or big that may be.

[pharawee]

I can't be the only member of the Wahl defence squad. 😔