#he's been hinting smth at me for the past few months that he thinks maybe this one thing i'm trying out isn't really for me

[seiwas]

a good cry always does wonders

[ma3mae]

How much do you want to bet that Tecchou has a god damn bug collection and he just shows it off to you proudly😭 "Babe come look it's my favourite beetle boogahooga" I JUST KNOW HE GIVES EITHER THE MOST BASIC NAMES OR LIKE "MEGA BLENDER X300 MAX"

Also I love your writing so much omfg😔🩷🩷

Don't be so antsy!

Summary: It's been a few months since Tetchou declared his love for you and he couldn't be happier, especially after finally showing you his treasured collection! But how will you react?

Genre: FEAR 🤡 because insects... Also cracky and a bit of fluff bc i just love him so much 💕😭 slight suggestive hint at the end 🤓

A/N: FOAMING AT MY MOUTH FROM EXCITEMENT!!!! still cant believe that u love my writing 😭😩fangirling so hard rn, time to print, frame and hang this onto my wall. No one can stop me 😤😤😤

Suehiro Tetchou

You knew about his adoration for bugs even before the both of you got together

It wasnt smth he'd be talking about for HOURS bc its just a topic never really spoken about

all the other hunting dogs know about it but... they wanted to spare u LMAO 😭

like u accompany him to his work place and his colleagues r outside of the dooe, waiting for him so they can leave

u r like waving at them and teruko waves back but yall r just caught off guard when jouno YELLs out of nowhere "MOVE YOUR DUMB ASS ALREADY OVER HERE 💀💀"

Like was he yelling at u??? Yall we dont know who he lookin at bc HOW 😭😭😭😩 srynotsry

But u realised who he meant when u looked behind u and tf 🤨🤨🤨

Tetchou just EMERGES out of a fking bush and 🤨🤨 is that 🤨🤨 a random ass bug in his hand 🤨🤨🤨 he got KIDNAPPED

"But I found this cool grasshopper... His name's Bush."

"DONT GIVE IT A NAME! PUT THAT SHIT BACK ALREADY AND M O V E"

Jouno is just seconds away from beating the shit out of him bc

"WHERE'D HE GET THAT JAR FROM???" "Teruko, that's not important. Make him HURRY UP ALREADY"

"Can we take Leaf with us?"Jouno is already taking his sword out to kill that thing 💀💀

cue a RANDOM ASS FIGHT 💀💀💀

"PUT IT BACK AND LETS MOVE YOU FUCKER" "No, I won't let you hurt Omega 300 GT 5" "Wait I thought his name wa-UGH IDC ILL KILL THAT THING FFS"

tachihara just turns away with "k, think im walking home already BYE"

teruko just yanks him back and the other boys too so that they can finally leave

"Can I take him wit-" "No. I know you like these kinds of things but no. Also if you want that thing to actually LIVE then put it back bc u know who will exterminate the shit out of it." "Hm. 😐"

He just walks up to u and goes "can u take this. please"

U cant say no to his puppy eyes 👁️👁️

You're just so confused but maybe its also cute??? U just thought that its a little interest in him but BOY

It wasnt so little as u thought 🤓 LOL i gotta get my head out of the gutter

*

*

********

Holding hands while going on a stroll was something you'd often find yourself doing during your free time together, especially when the sun was shining so brightly while a fresh spring breeze would occasionally sweep through the air.

Humming a random tune while you lightly swayed your joined hands back and forth.

Tetchou couldn't help but let a soft smile grace his lips at the slightly childish action.

No words could describe how much he enjoyed your leisurely strolls together. It would be seen as a nearly generic thing to do together as a couple but for him it was a time to be treated as sacred. Where else could he tuck your hair behind your ears when the wind would blow through it? Or where else could he see the sunlight make you shine impossibly brighter in his eyes, almost blindingly so?

But what really excited him were the "little" discoveries you'd make on your way.

And oh wait? What's tha-

"Y/N."

Hearing your name made you about to turn your face towards him yet there was no need!

Since your boyfriend forgot how strong he was...

Yanking a bit too hard on your arm made you hit his chest with your back, a small "oof" slipping past your lips.

"OUCH, Tetchou??? What in the-"

"Look."

"Huh?"

You let your gaze follow the direction his outstretched arm, finally stopping at what he was pointing at with his index finger.

To your not so much surprise it was a-

"It's a colony of ants. Look at how hard they're working, Y/N."

Before you could even think of stopping him, he had already moved towards them, crouching down to get a closer look.

You let out a sigh yet couldn't help smiling at his endearing but also random antics.

No matter how many times it would help, it never managed to not be funny. The Hunting Dogs were known for how powerful yet also how "eccentric" the members were, yet witnessing it for the first time and continuing to live with it never failed to bring a smile on your face.

Especially with just how cute your boyfriend looked right now! The way his eyes would twinkle at the mention of insects was something you personally could only understand but never relate to.

As much as you would love to go along and try to enjoy it with him, you kinda wanted to continue on your walk.

Because when he's focused on something then it would be a real nuisance to get him away from it.

But that's not a problem for the love of his life, right?

*

*

*********

Jokes on you, it actually was 💀

Like u got a hunch hes doing it on purpose when he pulls his puppy eyes and that barely but noticeable enough atleast for you pout on u when u said

"I love you, but i kinda wanna yk walk?"

"But Y/N 😟. *points at the ants* only for a minute, please 🥺"

YALL KNOW 😩 YALL KNOOOOW ITS NOT GONNA BE A MINUTE 😔😔😔

Your legs gonna start cramping from watching these fuckers crawl around??? Nah no one CARES 😤😤 jk jk

our cutie tetchouie would NEVER ignore his partners needs okur okur

Like hes already whipped from how we r atleast TRYING to enjoy what hes enjoying

He knows how unlikeable these little crawlers i hate bugs can be but his s/o is trying so hard and he just 🥺🥺🥺 looks at u wirh heart eyes

dw if u cant walk, he'll give u either a piggyback ride yall being cute 😤💕 or the classic bridal style 😩

And dw if he finds another interesting bug but his hands r occupied? Nah, he gon GET THAT ANYWAY

*

*

*********

"ACHOO"

"Bless you."

"Thanks." You told him as you lightly rubbed your nose with the back of your hand. You loved his hair but it would often tickle your nose whenever you'd try to look over his shoulder as he was carrying you on his back.

It was one of the small ways of him apologizing to you and enduring his antics.

His heart would nearly suffocate him from how much it would swell whenever you'd just reassure him that it was totally okay for you. If he loved ants then it's just what he loved and as his partner, you'd be open for everything that makes him happy.

Yet he still tried to keep it down around you so he was often a bit torn between.

"Ah. Wait is that...?"

Oh no.

You knew it.

You knew what was about to happen next.

Before you could stop him, he was already walking off of the path and into the field.

A whine got past your lips yet he seemed too caught up in his fascination of...?

"A horned beetle!"

Some meters above you, sat a beetle on a branch, seemingly undisturbed by the both of you and yet in Tetchou's eyes, it equaled a sacred national treasure.

A treasure that he wanted to get his hands on.

"Hold tight, Y/N."

"WAIT N-!"

Hooking your arm and legs tightly like a koala around his body, he made a leap for it. You didn't know HOW he managed to do it every time but there he was.

Jumping onto the tree and quickly pulling a tiny jar out of a pocket in his blazer (you don't even know how he even hid that...) and-

"I got it!" He exclaimed in happiness as he jumped down, holding his hand onto the open jar. Screwing a lid onto it, he gave it a quick glance before putting it back into his pocket.

Noticing that you were slowly losing your grip on him, he hooked his arms under your legs, hoisting you up again before almost nonchalantly continuing your walk as if he hadn't just jumped up a tree for a beetle...

"Uhm, you don't wanna stare at it or something?" You asked, genuinely surprised yet almost regretting the question since it could change his mind.

"No, I can do that at home. Your legs are hurting after all."

A smile spread onto your lips at his kind words, only spreading further after hearing a slight hitch in his breathing as you let your lips graze his neck before planting a kiss on it.

"Anything for my love, you know? By the way, have you thought of a name yet for your new little friend?"

"I have but-"

You felt him tighten his grip around your legs before he suddenly began to pick up his pace, walking in long and fast strides.

"Want to be home as fast as possible, so we can you know..."

He peeked over his shoulder to see your slightly reddened face before looking forward, strongly focused on one thing.

"continue what you've started."

A small laugh slipped out of him, your nose tickling his neck as you hid your face in it, immediately knowing what he was implying and well...

You weren't complaining.

*

*

********

No one would have expected it but... our boy's pretty easy to rile up 😤😩

yall think he cute and innocent?? Nah nah he wanna get into that shi* too like hes a whipped and legit down bad man for his love rightfully so ✋✋

dw after yall r done, he'll def bring back the topic of "naming his friend/-s" and welp

u better be ready to spend ur weekend on that kinda thing 💀💀💀 and yall gonna settle on the either cutest or most ridiculous shit...

Its either "Groundbreaker 500, The Nightmare of All" or "sugarberry twinkle star" 🤓🤓 if he wants to honor the place he found it (like in the beginning ^), uhhhhhh 🤨

This btch's name is gonna be "leftover bread" or smth bc it was on it when he found that thing💀

yall cant convince me otherwise BYE 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

LOL, this got way too long and i kinda got carried away but that always happens with him 😩😩😩 maybe rushed at the end but i hope u r happy with this @soysaucefu 💅💕💕

[moonjxsung]

hi star my little moonlit angel 😔💖💖

aa im having like the most stressful week and idk where to talk abt it so i hope you dont mind me dumping for a sec :((

exams are killing me rn and idk if its finals week or my final week cs holy shit i am dying 😭😭

ive been pulling all nighters trying to get all my projects and group studies done and my exams are DEF not helping in my case and idk if ive even been eating properly there's probably a spoiled banana from last week in my bag somewhere atp 🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️ (im going mentally insane)

i havent even properly been on tumblr in a while and my social media is blowing up w notifs and dms from friends and ive been too busy to check it either tbh

honestly im hoping itll all turn out well by next week cs is my winter break 🤧

on another note i wanted to dump on my exes when all your anons were doing it but i was too scared to but now i genuinely need to tell u abt this because umm

my fwb is like a super nice guy and ive been friends w him for a while but i recently found out hes rlly good friends with one of my exes ⁉️

basically i asked (my ex) out once and he said yes and i thought we were chill but a few friends ended up asking him if we were dating like two days later without asking me for confirmation first and he said no.. (??)

i assumed he js didnt want like a too public relationship with everyone knowing so to clarify i asked him what was up and he said he ended up having second thoughts on me because his friends called me a red flag and he doesnt like the fact that i have guy friends and im close with them.... (💀💀)

so then i said oh okay..? 😭 and was over it but almost a month later he asked me out and atp he just gave me the icks so i made an excuse saying that i wanna focus on academics and not do anything relationship wise and he said he would wait 😭😭 (he in fact did not pick up the hint!)

then a little over month later he asked me out AGAIN and i said no i dont think i like you anymore sorry and he said oh that's fine and i thought we were chill??

a week later my messages BLEW UP one day and my guy friends were all snitching on him telling me that he's gong around slutshaming me and talking shit abt me for no reason and he said i was desperate and asked him out 3 times when he said no and he was never interested in me in the first place.. and then proceeded to sexualize my body and say weird ass shit abt it to everyone and they believed that i was a desperate whore or smth 😭

this happened a year ago but i was walking down the halls around a month ago and i saw him with his friends so i just rushed past

and his friends were like "oh isnt that the bitch who liked you?" and i heard him say "oh yeah she liked me like a year ago" and then proceeded to sexualize me while i was right fucking there but i dont even want any more drama w him so i dont bother saying anything back or leaking messages or wtv i js hope karma gets back at him 😭

and now idk if i should tell my fwb abt this?? or maybe it doesnt really concern me but it bothers me that hes hanging out with a guy like that and im conflicted on what to do

its not like i have the right to tell him who to be friends with either so 🤷‍♀️

what should i dooo

-《as always, your occasionally appearing but always stalking ☘ annonie》

(p.s. do you have any spotify song reccomendations 🥺🥺)

much lovee

Pooooookie you can always vent here ily ily :(

I’m so sorry to hear you’re stressed from exams :(( I’m rooting for you okay !! Please make sure to eat whenever you can (even if it’s something small!) and stay hydrated :( what’s the use of doing good on finals if your body gives out on you :(

No I feel u on the social media thing I get SO stressed when I have DMs or texts or whatever I just flat out don’t check them. I think I have 200 unread texts rn (it’s been around 1000 at some point) and I know im such a shitty friend but I just cannot respond to them 😭😭 I gotta put me first you guys

WINTER BREAK NEXT WEEK THOOO hang in there baby it’ll get better soon 🥺🫶🫶🫶🫶

OH MY GOD???? Pookie that’s fucking disgusting I’m so sorry you’re dealing with men like that rn???? I had a veryyyy similar situation with a guy who my friend tried to set me up with at a party who kinda liked for a little bit and then when I said I was comfortable being in a relationship he started slutshaming me to everyone under the fucking SUN and apparently he had a discord group where I was just CONSTANTLY the topic of conversation and when I heard about it I cried so hard ☹️ in my case I also had people who were friends with him and I voiced to them that it made me severely uncomfortable. Like the people in my life should know about the people who wronged me (especially if I’m sleeping with them??) and it just made me feel safer. It’s obviously up to you but I would probably tell him just so that he knows that’s someone you’re weary about and you don’t feel safe around ☹️ your safety and your wellbeing is the most important thing pookie ☹️ keep me posted if you need anything at all okay I love you lots and I’m sorry you’re going through this ☹️🫶

Song recs song recs yes here are some I’ve been listening to on repeat all week (there’s only like one kpop song in there but it’s my fav kpop song of all time so TRUST it was gonna make it to the list) I’ve been listening to Glass Animals, TV Girl and M83 on repeat for the entire year I think 😭😭

I love you endlessly okay keep you chin up better days are coming for us !! 🫶🫶🫶🫶 soon it’ll be winter break and you can just sit back and drink hot chocolate and tell me all about it and say you lived through it. Hang in there my love

[hewwo-fwends]

you gonna be okay? - pjs + zcl (NCT)

hello. I wrote this to help myself out of a mental funk kinda ting, which is really depressing in itself, but it did help. I thought it would be a waste if no one saw it, ya know? it's a bit controversial. fun fact: I made a whole new account to post this so no one I know can find me here.

so um for context, both jisung and chenle are quite a bit older than me, and I'm over a year legal in my country. anyway. here we go yeehaw.

warnings: angst (⚠️⚠️TRIGGER WARNING⚠️⚠️ MENTIONS OF SH AND PANIC/ANXIETY ATTACKS), kinda smut (like a little bit of grinding and marking and tongue salsa), jisung has anxiety or smth idk, chenle misses jisung, ends with fluff and stuff it's kinda kyoot

word count: 4.4k

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

the recurrence of these emotions should have been the first warning sign. how he had felt this way so often over the past 3 years. maybe the first time he marked up his own body should have been the second warning sign. the numbness within him fading to a euphoric stinging sensation within seconds, then to guilt and anxiety. no one could know. then maybe the third warning sign would have been his growing dependency on things that kill you from the inside. drinking and smoking to feel anything but numb or anxious or like he wanted to be crushed under a car. but none of the above felt like warning signs to him, because between the worst lows and the happy period right after, he would forget anything happened. he would ignore it. he would tell himself it wasnt a big deal, and that no one should know. so no one did.

jisung was seen as the funny, nice friend in this way. he would listen to others' problems and help them as much as he could. he would give people his things to make them happy, not expecting to get anything back himself. he wouldn't try to make others laugh, but would feel proud when he did. people liked him in a casual way. he was a good guy, a kind guy. jisung thought that too sometimes, before he stopped himself. "don't get too into your own head." he would think. "show these people how nice you are. be the happy person that people like. that will make you happy all the time." clearly, that didn't always work. but, to fulfill his purpose, he ignored and forgot the times when he didn't live up to his happy persona. it didn't happen. he was happy. always happy. nothing but happy. and he prayed to any and all gods that he would never get caught out.

°•°•°•°•°•°•

"Jisung. Talk to me for a sec." Coach spoke from across the gym. Whilst still laughing about a joke with his friends, he jogged over to the coach, smiling brightly. "What's up with you today? You get enough sleep? You were all over the place. I swear I saw you trip over your own feet a couple times." Jisung's smile almost faltered, but he caught himself before it could.

"Ah, coach. You know me. I may have spent a little bit longer on Overwatch last night than usual but it's only because of this one guy that kept busting my nu- killstreak, man! I had to get him back or I wouldn't have slept at all!" Coach laughed at the teen's obvious rage thinking back to this other player and his tone softened.

"Yeah, yeah. I do get it. But don't let it happen again, alright? You're my star player and I'm counting on you for regionals. You won't let me down, right?"

"Sir, no, sir!" Jisung projected.

"You cheeky brat. Go on. Get outta here." the coach laughed as Jisung jogged back over to where his friends were joking and packing their bags.

"Hey, Sung. What was that about?" questioned Jeno, whilst spraying himself with deodorant and suffocating the rest of the group.

"Watch it, fuckface!" exclaimed Renjun, coughing up his organs.

"Oh, nothing. Just talking about regionals." Jisung replied after clearing his throat of Lynx Africa.

"Ahh, star player Jisung! But you were a bit slow today, huh? I might just steal your spot up the coach's ass, you get me?" Jaemin nudged Jisung, making the group laugh at the boy's teasing remark.

"Never in a million years, Na." Jisung shoved the boy before grabbing his bag and sidestepping away to avoid reprisal. The other boys followed this action and started walking towards the door, talking between each other.

"So, do y'all wanna get some food or something?" Haechan asked the group, hinting that he definitely did want to get some food. The group all murmured in agreement, apart from Jisung, who replied "Ah, I would love to but my mum wants me back for dinner with the family tonight."

"Aww momma's boy Jisungie. How cute." Jaemin teased before reaching to squeeze the youngest's cheeks. Jisung backed away, making sounds of fear whilst smiling at his friend's show of affection. Jaemin eventually backed off and Jisung rubbed his now red cheeks. He drifted to the back of the group walking through the school's empty corridors. A few seconds later, Chenle found his way next to him.

"Hey, are you gonna make it on the PlayStation tonight?" he asked excitedly.

"Ah, I don't know, man. Depends if my mum lets me." Jisung replied whilst rubbing the nape of his neck.

"What? But she didn't let you play last night! That's child cruelty, I swear!" his shrill voice rang through Jisung's ears, making him flinch to the side.

"Yeah. I know it sucks. But you guys are great without me, too! You'll be fine, man."Jisung reassured the loud boy. They continued to talk about the game that Jisung had missed the night before until the group reached a crossroads. They waved goodbye and Jisung split off from the group who were heading to a diner around the corner. As he walked down the pavement towards his house, he realised how dark it had gotten in only 10 minutes. It made sense as it was December, and he sighed as he looked at the expansive sky with greys and whites mixing with dark blue. As he approached his house, he noticed that the Christmas lights had been put up, white and orange fairy lights strung across the bushes outside and over the front door. He smiled to himself. As he stepped into the house, his fingers tingled from the contrast of the freezing winter air outside and the cozy central heating inside. "Mum?" Jisung shouted down the corridor whilst taking off his shoes and putting his bag on the floor.

"Hey, Sungie! How was school?" her voice appeared from the living room and Jisung walked towards it.

"Ah, same old, same old, you know?" he shrugged.

"Are you not hanging out with your friends today?" she asked as she paused her TV programme. She had been watching Rick and Morty and Jisung couldn't help but think how much she would fit in with his age group. The thought made him cringe.

"No. They were all tired and had to go home." He said whilst looking at the paused TV screen.

"Oh, well. I hope you don't mind but me and dad are going out tonight with some friends so do you mind making your own dinner? Your sister's staying at her friend's house so don't worry about her and your brother's in his room with his friend and they're doing their own thing." Jisung's mum explained. Jisung's face almost dropped but, once again, he caught himself and smiled.

"Of course, that's fine. I'll make myself some ramen. Have fun tonight!" he said as he walked out of the room and grabbed his bag.

"You too!" his mum spoke before the sound of the TV started playing again. Jisung jogged upstairs and down the corridor to his room before walking in and locking the door behind him, as was his routine. He sighed and dropped his bag on the floor, standing still by the door. Next in his routine was the sudden wave of cold that rushed over him, so much colder than the rest of the house. Then his lip would start quivering and he may have let out a whimper or two, before dropping onto his bed and sobbing with no tears, just the feeling of hopelessness running through his veins. His body curled in on itself and his hands clawed at his bedsheets as his face dug into his pillow. He would then rock back and forth for the next half an hour, chanting such phrases as "I wish I was dead" or "I'm horrible" or maybe "I hate this". What it was that he hated? He couldn't tell you. He just knew he didn't want to be there anymore. Or anywhere really. He would contemplate carving into himself like a Halloween pumpkin again but would always chicken out just before, remembering how tiring it was to hide it the first times. He didn't want to add anymore stuff to his plate. Also, his physical appearance needed to match his social appearance. No one could know what he was like on his own. It was his own little secret. However, he needed to feel something. So he would curl up on his floor, his head against his carpet, and scratch all down his arms, as hard as he could. The sensation made him feel something, and feeling something felt euphoric. After maybe managing to shed a few tears and falling asleep, he would wake up feeling drained and somewhat annoyed for not being able to see the scratches on his arms. But of course, he would then think of himself as an attention-whore, and make himself forget anything had happened. His day then continues from then with him being the happy social butterfly he was known to be. And the cycle would repeat.

°•°•°•°•°•°•

"Hey, you better come hang with us tonight. I feel like I hardly see you anymore!" Chenle spoke to Jisung in what he would call his "quiet voice". Luckily, they were in the canteen and there was hardly anyone around.

"You know I would love to, but I've got a lot of homework to do! Mr Suh is being a real bitch lately, you know?" Jisung spoke back as he played with the rice on his plate. School food really did nothing for his constant nausea.

"But you've been working so much lately! You've had to do homework almost every day after school for the past month! And before that, your mum needed you to come home for dinner every night! I miss you, Sungie." Chenle's typically loud and screeching voice fell at the last bit, and Jisung looked up at the boy through his fringe. What did he mean by "I miss you" when he was right there in front of him? He hadn't gone anywhere.

"What do you mean "you miss me"? I'm right here, Lele." Jisung almost reached his hand out for Chenle's on the other side of the table, but ended up deciding against it and just leaning forwards slightly.

"But you're not though. I only see you in school now. And you hardly talk to me anymore. You used to tell me about stuff that's going on in your life. Now I have to talk to you first to get you to notice to me." Jisung's eyes began to get hot as he looked down at the table. He could feel his heartbeat in his stomach and his muscles begin to twitch. This wasn't good. "Do you even like me anymore? I thought you were my best friend, Jisung. What's happened to you?" Chenle's voice held an apprehensive and somewhat emotional tone. Jisung couldn't breathe. He needed to get out of there.

"I've gotta go." he rushed out his words in a hushed tone to stop his tears from falling, whilst pushing up from his seat and speeding out of the canteen as fast as possible without running. His eyes stayed trained on the ground and the tears welling up made him feel like he was about to throw up. He pushed open the door to a toilet block he knew no one would be in before rushing into a cubicle and locking the door behind him. He broke.

His sobs rang against the walls of the cubicle, no matter how much he tried to repress them. He slapped his hand over his mouth in attempt to quieten himself, and his tears fell like torrential rain, down his face, his hands and to the floor. His back slid down the wall of the cubicle until he was curled up on the floor in a puddle of his own trembling limbs and tears. He stayed in that state for 5 more minutes, neither his tears nor his emotions subsiding. Then, he heard the door of the toilet block crash open, promptly followed by a shout of "Jisung?". Chenle.

Jisung's eyes clenched shut so tightly that he was seeing stars, his nails now digging into his cheeks with how tightly he was covering his mouth. The tears didn't stop but at least they didn't make any noise. "Jisung. I know you're there. I won't break down the door. Just let me in." Chenle's voice turned softer, but now with an added hint of concern. Jisung dreaded to think that Chenle was concerned about him. He tried to stop the tears so he could face his friend, but they wouldn't stop, and he couldn't even move. He felt trapped where he was. His body had given up. "I'm not going anywhere, Jisung. I promise."  Chenle's voice sounded close, like his head was against the other side of the door. Hearing him say that somehow made Jisung break even further. He didn't know that was possible. His sobs could suddenly be heard again even through his hands tight grasp on his face. "Jisung?" Chenle's voice sounded panicked now. He didn't want to do that to him. He needed to let him know he was there, even like this.

"Chenle-" he rasped out between sobs. His voice clearly sounded tired and weak, with a hint of desperation.

"Please, open the door, Sungie." Jisung sobbed harder, feeling incapable of moving whatsoever, but his best friend's distress gave him an ounce of motivation, but not without added guilt and shame. He hid his head in his arm against his knees and blindly reached for the lock on the door. He felt it unlock and immediately curled his other hand around himself, hoping to not be seen. Of course, that didn't happen. He heard a gasp from above and then felt the brush of air against his arm as his friend dropped down next to him. His sobs had still not stopped and he felt the smallest he had ever felt in his life right at this moment, curled up on the toilet floor next to his best friend. He didn't know what he had expected to happen, but it certainly wasn't the warm feeling of his friends arms wrapping around him, and the warmth of his breath against his neck. They didn't usually do that with each other. This only spurred on more tears, but slightly fuzzier ones. With some sensation back in his body, he twisted his hand upwards to hold onto his friend's arm, a small message to the other boy in an attempt to translate how grateful he is to him and that he's the best friend anyone could ever wish for. It may have not translated that whole message, but he hoped that it got pretty close.

"You're gonna be okay, Sungie." Chenle spoke into the crying boy's neck. The warmth tickled him and caused a hot shiver to run across his spine. Wait. Was he blushing? In shock about having just blushed at the actions of his best friend, he managed to lift his head up and open his eyes. His sight was blurred but he could see the wavy outline of his small friend through his unrelenting tears. He could feel hands upon his cheeks as they turned his face towards him to wipe at the tears under his eyes with the soft pads of his thumbs. He hoped so much that his face was red enough from crying to cover up the ever-growing blush that adorned his cheeks. He bit his lip and looked down in embarrassment, but Chenle didn't allow it. With his hands still resting on his cheeks, he lifted his head back up and pressed his forehead against the others. Out of surprise, Jisung's right hand shot up to hold onto the other's elbow, before sliding up to his hand against his cheek instead. He rested his hand on top of Chenle's and leant into it slightly, enjoying the feeling way too much than he should have felt okay with. His eyes fell shut again as he released a sigh that fluttered against Chenle's cheeks. They sat there, sharing each other's space, for what felt like years. Jisung wished the feeling would never stop. But as long as Chenle was with him, he felt like it never would.

After his tears had slowed and his breathing had evened out, Jisung felt Chenle's hand slide away from his face. He felt himself almost starting to cry yet again, before Chenle's fingers slid between his own and his thumb started rubbing his hand. Chenle's head pulled away from Jisung's and tilted against the wall they were both leaning against instead. "Is this okay?" Chenle asked in a genuinely hushed and soothing voice, one that Jisung didn't know he was capable of. He couldn't tell what Chenle was referring to until he squeezed Jisung's hand ever so slightly and Jisung blushed yet again.

"Yeah. It's fine." the corners of his mouth tilted ever so slightly before he realised and stopped himself. But Chenle didn't even try to stop himself. He had already noticed Jisung's mistake and smiled back widely himself. This only made Jisung feel shy and bashfully smile at the floor.

"Your smile is so pretty." Chenle stated, as if it was the most obvious fact in the galaxy. Jisung's eyes shot up to the other boy's face, who was now giggling at Jisung's reaction. Jisung quickly looked back down to the floor as he felt the flustered feeling spread all over his head.

As Chenle's giggles quietened down, Jisung tilted his head against the wall, before realising just how close their faces were. He could feel Chenle's breath against his lips. He felt an involuntary sound creeping up his throat, but swallowed hard to keep it down. "Are you feeling any better?" Chenle spoke in a deep voice, quiet and gentle on Jisung's currently sensitive ears.

"I do feel better right now." Jisung responded, his voice still weak and raspy.

"Right now?" Chenle's eyebrows curled in confusion. "Why right now?"

Jisung couldn't stop the words from coming out. "Because you're here." His eyes widened the second after he let it slip from his lips, having shocked himself with the obvious "line". He didn't know how to repair that. So he just stayed silent, red in the face and frozen. He only barely noticed Chenle's small smile before he registered that they were somehow even closer to one another. He felt their noses brush together and this time, he didn't think fast enough to stop the involuntary sound falling off his lips. A hushed whimper spilled into the shared breathing space between them. Chenle's head was back where it was before, pressed against Jisung's, and Jisung couldn't stop himself from glancing down at his best friend's lips. His best friend, he thought. This was not normal, and he knew it. But he didn't care. It felt so much better than anything he had ever done before. So much more natural. He wanted this. So bad.

His mouth was slightly open, trying to maximise his air intake as the air around him suddenly got so hot.

"Can I?" He felt Chenle's breath against his tongue, and his nose brushed against Jisung's once more.

"Please." It came out much more whiny than he had expected, but he wasn't even ashamed anymore as his best friend's lips melted into his own, their synchronisation making Jisung feel like he had been missing this his whole life. Chenle. Just Chenle. They seemed to fall into a trance as the taste and feeling of one another became addictive. Jisung only realised what was happening when he felt a hand sliding up his arm and towards his neck, the thumb rubbing against his jugular. Another hand had slid up his leg and was squeezing his thigh. Jisung couldn't help but grab onto the front of Chenle's shirt and pull his body even closer as he released yet another whimpering noise. That was a cue for Chenle to lick at Jisung's bottom lip, subtly asking for permission to take this further. It wasn't even a question for Jisung. He let his mouth fall open and Chenle was immediately there, lapping at the other's tongue with his own. The feeling made Chenle groan slightly, and Jisung's fist clenched tighter on his shirt in response, another whimper falling from his occupied lips. He felt breathless in the best way, so didn't even attempt to pull away to breathe. He didn't want to stop and could tell that neither did Chenle.

A few minutes later, Chenle had explored Jisung's entire mouth and wanted to find out some more about the boy, so his hands fell to his hips and pulled slightly, inviting Jisung to come closer. Jisung took this offer with delight, climbing onto the other's lap and leaning back onto the other's knees as Chenle slid his back further up the wall for a more comfortable position. They both quickly found each other's lips again and got right back into the flow of the situation. Chenle's hands had drifted from Jisung's tiny waist to his hips, just above his ass that was sat in a place that he didn't want to dwell too much on, though he found that to be extremely difficult with how fidgety Jisung could be. Jisung's hands found purchase against Chenle's chest again, occasionally grasping at his shirt when he felt to overwhelmed, so the entire time really.

After a few more minutes, Chenle leaned his head back against the wall, looking up at Jisung with so much adoration. Jisung felt hot under his stare and missed the feeling of his lips.

"You're so hot, baby." Chenle spoke in his low voice, like he was talking to himself. Jisung whined and leaned in, hoping to find Chenle's lips again, only to be stopped by the feeling of a hand around the base of his neck, not holding him, just applying light pressure, enough to stop him in his tracks and make him roll his hips. The feeling made his head fall back and he accidentally released a moan. He felt embarrassed, but also really, really hot. He heard a growl from below him but before he could look back down, he felt Chenle's hot mouth against his neck, right next to his jugular. His teeth bit into the skin and his mouth sucked around the mark, making Jisung involuntarily move his hips faster against Chenle's torso, looking for any friction whatsoever. Like Chenle was reading his mind, he ground his hips upwards into Jisung's own, right as he bit into the other side of his neck. "Fuck!" Jisung exclaimed, the breath being knocked out of his lungs at the sensation.

"Close already?" Chenle teased. Jisung suddenly realised how weird it was to hear that from his best friend. The best friend he would play games with as a child. the best friend he would talk about girls with in his early teen years. The best friend he would vent to when he was stressed, and who would do the same back. The best friend he had talked about getting a house with in the future, somewhere in a big city. The best friend that was now making him feel so fucking good on the floor of the school toilets when they're both supposed to be in lessons. The best friend he wants to scream the name of for the rest of his life, disturbing the neighbours and almost getting kicked out of several apartments. He's not even mad.

°•°•°•°•°•°•

Them walking out of that toilet block must have been the most comedic moment in either of their lives. To set the scene, they both styled matching red faces and disheveled hair, with Chenle rocking a creased shirt and Jisung showing off his abundance of blossoming purple and red bite marks, trailing all over his jaw and neck and deep down into his collar line and, to top it all off, their non-chalant "we did not just fuck I swear" facial expressions. Glancing up and down the corridor to avoid any other unsuspecting students, they made a bee-line for Chenle's locker where he knew he kept a hoodie to hide Jisung's Vincent Van Gogh "Starry Night"-lookin' neck. The only problem was that it was on the other side of the school.

Why Jisung decided to come instead of waiting, Chenle didn't know. He just thought he was too cute and didn't really want to leave him alone either. But luckily, it was still lesson time, so there was hardly anyone in the halls. So there they were, running through the halls Breakfast Club-style, dodging teachers and the odd student, until they reached Chenle's locker. He made quick work of opening it and grabbing the hoodie, buried underneath about 5 textbooks, 3 folders and a bag of snacks. "You're a mess." Jisung joked.

"Look, do you want the hoodie or not?" Chenle reiterated, his eyes wide as if he were scolding a child.

"Yes, yes, I'm sorry!" Jisung giggled, taking the hoodie from Chenle's hands. Chenle jabbed quickly at Jisung's stomach, making him bend over and jump backwards dramatically. He pulled the hoodie over himself, surprised that it was kind of big on him.

"Not as big as you thought you were, huh?" Chenle quirked his eyebrow and Jisung blushed, once again, at his remark. He pulled up the hood and tugged the strings tight around his head, making Chenle coo at him. "You baby." And Jisung swore he could somehow hear the star emojis and "uwu" emoticon in his voice. Chenle walked closer to him, holding his sweater paws and then looking around to make sure no one was there. He then leaned in to quickly steal another kiss, lingering too long for it to be classed as a peck. "What lesson have you got now?" Chenle asked, still holding Jisung's sweater paws, now leaning against the lockers.

"I think Chemistry?" Jisung puffed out his cheeks in thought. Chenle was enamored.

"You okay to go? I can stay with you if you want me to." Chenle reasoned. Jisung's eyes dropped to the ground as he smiled.

"I'm definitely feeling better right now. I might even learn something in Chem." Jisung chuckled.

"Wouldn't that be a miracle." Chenle smiled. The other then pushed his shoulder lightly, making him giggle.

"I'm gonna miss you." Jisung mumbled towards his feet. Chenle leaned in further, smiling.

"That's cheesy and disgusting but you're cute so I'm gonna miss you too." He punctuated his statement with a kiss on the other's lips. Followed by another one. Then another. And another. They were both really lost in each other. And they didn't want to be anything else.

[interstellix]

airplane ↳ kim seungmin

genre: fluff

summary: in which you and seungmin are finally able to go on the trip you’ve planned for since long

word count: 1110

requested: no

warnings: none

a/n: LISTEN this is the Epitome of Cringe but i haven’t written in months but i love airplane sm so i just :’(( had to write smth based on it :’(( so ye have mercy on me lmao 

the toddler a few rows ahead has, after what feels like a lifetime, stopped crying. there’s no random, annoying kicking against your seat anymore as the old man behind you seems to have fallen asleep. the food you had not all too long ago was surprisingly good, now feeling full, though not regretting having eaten the dessert you had saved for last. there’s the low rumbling of the engines and the occasional turbulence sending butterflies in your stomach. however, not as much as,

“seungmin?”

from the middle seat next to you, said one opens his eyes and peeks at you, humming. “do your ears still hurt?” you ask, referring to how his ears started hurting from the air pressure an hour or two ago.

seungmin shakes his head with a small smile, “sucking on that candy worked after all.”

you snort, “listen to me next time.”

he laughs at your half-joking reaction but through the sound of it, you can still make out the exhaust in it. looking at him, you note how he does look tired as well. it’s not really surprising, seeing how he probably hasn’t been able to fall asleep from the previous pain.

you hum at him and when seungmin curiously glances at you, you gesture to your shoulder the closest to him. “you look tired.”

he looks hesitant but still asks, “are you sure?”

nodding at him, you’re met by another, grateful smile as seungmin leans closer to rest his head on your shoulder. before too long, you feel his body relax against yours and you’re almost certain he has fallen asleep within the time span of a few minutes, until he suddenly says,

“you should get some sleep too.”

“I’m good,” you answer and turn to look out through the window.

seungmin sighs, “y/n, you’ve been staring outside ever since we lifted and it’s been, what, four hours. aren’t you tired?”

“I’m not.” there’s a pause as you keep scrutinizing the view for a few moments. “it’s pretty. can’t help it.”

it’s true, really; you could’ve read the book you brought along in your handbag, or watched a movie on the screen on the back of the seat in front of yours. you could’ve listened to one of the podcasts you’ve saved on your phone on offline-mode or played the game you recently bought for your nintendo switch.

you could even have slept but no. instead, you have spent the past mentioned four hours staring out through the slightly dirty window; the clouds rise like soft mountain peaks; the cotton-like fragments are scattered across and high above the ocean, resembling delicate trails of a paint brush spreading white over blue. stretched all the way to the horizon, they almost shine under the light of the early morning sun. every now and then, you catch airplanes in the far distance flying past but other than that, there’s not much more to see and yet you observe the view as if it were scenes from an oscar-nominated movie.

seungmin hums again in what sounds like agreement, “true, sure is pretty...”

as he says this, a pair of admiring eyes are glued to you while you’re still busy watching one cloud after another.

when you let out a chuckle, he asks, “what’s so funny?”

you point an index finger at the fourth or fifth plane you see flying past. “where do you think they’re heading?”

seungmin can’t help chuckling himself, the question sounding like something a seven year old would ask. nevertheless, he still answers, “maybe back to south korea.”

“... where do you think they came from?”

“maybe where we’re heading now?”

you turn back to seungmin to see him smile only to make you reflect the gesture. “sure took a while until we got this trip through.”

“I mean, both of us were busy with uni and work; can't say economy always was on our good side either,” he begins but soon beams, “but at least we finally got around to it.”

laughing at the mix of peace and excitement he flashes you, you can only nod in agreement before turning back to stare out through the window.

perhaps it’s the calm staining your features, or the content smile on your lips, or maybe it’s really just looking at you but whatever it is makes seungmin intertwine your fingers with his. your smile inevitably grows wider when he brings your hands up to press a feather-light kiss to your knuckles. in return, as they fall back to the small space between your seats, you softly run your thumb across the back of his hand.

"it really is pretty..." you soon comment again, still busy scrutinizing the outside world.

when he speaks, the low hum his words come out in shows how he's the blink of an eye away from sleep and yet, the hint of playfulness lacing his voice doesn't go unnoticed, "not prettier than you though."

"have you always been this cheesy?"

seungmin answers in a yawn, "jesus christ, just take my compliment."

you can't help laughing again but still let out a softly murmurred "thanks," before pressing a light peck to his temple. you pause for a moment and contemplate whether you should disturb him from falling asleep once more or not. in the end, you decide to speak up, cheeks dusted in pink as if it's the first time you utter the three words,

"I love you."

he doesn't respond immediately but eventually, a snort escapes him and a grin crosses his face. "and you call me cheesy, saying that out of the blue."

before you can answer though, seungmin tilts his head up; sleepy and half-shut but warm eyes lock with your own as he settles a gentle kiss to your lips. it's light and doesn't last for more than a second but it's impossible to miss the way ot conveys the purest of feelings he could ever possibly hold for you. he parts, and you're met by a loving smile on his lips as he leans his forehead against yours,

"I love you too."

before long, seungmin finally falls asleep. the baby's screaming comes to life again, the old man has returned to his annoying kicking against your seat. the engine is loud in your ears, the turbulence keeps your stomach spinning and the view outside is still worth admiring.

however, it's like none of it matters anymore.

with him so close next to you and a serenity like never before running through your blood, you soon find yourself fast asleep as well, resting against him, hands still intertwined.

[prettyboyspenceee]

The New Agent - Part 2 (final)

Request: “Hey, I got an idea for a Spencer x reader story, maybe smth with more than 1 part 😅 Spencer meeting y/n at a book store/reading and they get to know each other pretty well. 2 weeks later y/n shows up the BAU as their new boss and Morgan/Luke starts flirting with her. 😅” -  @kind-im-gedankennebel

A/N: This is the second part of “The New Agent.” You can find that fic here. Make sure you read that first before reading this or somethings might not make sense. If this flops, Linda Barnes wrote this. 

Description: You had been working at the BAU for a month now and you and Spencer have been dating for about two months. You and Spencer had told Hotch and Rossi about your relationship but the team still doesn’t know. When Derek keeps flirting with you and when the team encourages it, Spencer gets annoyed. 

Character Appearances: Spencer Reid, Derek Morgan, Aaron Hotchner, David Rossi, Jennifer “JJ” Jareau, Penelope Garcia, Emily Prentiss

Disclaimer: I don’t own Criminal Minds! If I did, the show would have 20 more seasons. 

(Y/N) - Your Name

(Y/L/N) - Your Last Name 

Word Count: 1,148

Posted: October 9th, 2019

---

You had been with the BAU for a month and it had already been one hell of a ride. You had an instant love connection with the team, JJ, Garica, and Emily were like the sisters you never had. Hotch and Rossi were the father figures of the team and you were extremely grateful for them. But Derek was a different story. As soon as you got to the BAU, you knew you had his attention. Any chance he got he flirted with you but you didn't mind the playful banter and if you ever got uncomfortable you knew he would stop. Derek's flirting and the team's unawareness annoyed Spencer. 

You always told Spencer that you only had eyes for him and he appreciated your reassurance but it didn’t stop him from feeling annoyed. 

---

You were sitting at your desk across from Spencer's and you felt eyes on you. You automatically knew it was Derek. 

"Morgan, if you see something you like, I suggest you take a  photo." 

"If I took a picture of everything that I liked it would only be pictures of you, (Y/N)."

You heard Spencer scoff which got everyone's attention. 

"Is there something wrong, Spence?" JJ asked, concern lacing her voice. 

 "Nothing's wrong JJ. Absolutely nothing," Spencer stood up suddenly and walked over to the break room.  You waited a few seconds before following him.

"What's got Pretty Boy's panties in a twist?" Derek mumbled. 

JJ and Emily shared a look, "You," they said in unison. 

"Me? What did I do?" Derek asked.

"It's what you've been doing with (Y/N), Chocolate Thunder," Penelope said as she walked into the bullpen. 

"(Y/N)? What does (Y/N) have to do with Reid and Morgan?" Emily asked. 

"For profilers, you sure are blind... then again, you aren't me. When I came back from my coffee run last week I heard strange noises coming from the supply closet," she said wiggling her eyebrows. 

"Oh my god? Are you serious?" JJ exclaimed. 

"Pen, are you COMPLETELY sure?” Emily asked. 

"I've never been surer of anything in my life. Except for the decision to work here," Garcia said, winking at Derek. 

Derek groaned, "Are you serious? Is no one going to tell me what is going on?" 

"Nope!" Penelope said popping the p.

--- 

You made sure no one else but you and Spencer were in the break room before shutting and locking the door. 

"Spence, what the hell was that about? I thought we agreed to keep everything on the down-low!" You said in a harsh whisper. You were shocked, Spencer wasn't the type to have an outburst of attitude. 

"Screw that!" He replied, "I hate seeing Derek flirt with you. He could have any girl he wanted but of course, he wants you, the one girl he can't have. You're my girlfriend and it infuriates me when he flirts with you." 

You couldn't help but smile as you placed your hands on Spencer's shoulders, "Spencer, I only have eyes for you. I wish you would have told me. We could tell the team right now if you want."

"I think JJ, Prentiss, and Garcia suspect us already. I don't think Garcia quite forgot the closet incident."

You slapped Spencer's arm, "What about Morgan?" You asked. 

Spencer smirked, "Since we're all going out tonight he told me that he planned on asking you out."

You gasped, knowing where he was going with this, "You little devil!" 

"Please, (Y/N). I have to get him back for the prank he pulled on me last week." 

You smiled and rolled your eyes, "Fine. Only for you." 

"You're the best." He said as he kissed your cheek.

"I know!" You said and grinned when Spencer let out a laugh. 

---

It was finally the end of the day and you, Spencer and the rest of the team went out for drinks. You and Spencer had discussed the plan beforehand and you couldn't wait to see the reactions from your team.

"Hey, I'm going to get another round. Does anyone want to come with me?" You announced to the group. 

"I'll go with you, Little Mama," Derek said. 

You saw Spencer's smug look out of the corner of your eye. Morgan took the bait. 

When you and Morgan were sitting at the bar waiting for your drinks you knew what was coming. 

"Hey, (Y/N)... Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure! What's up?" 

"Well, I know we've been going back and forth for the past month but I just wanted to ask if I could take you out to dinner one day... like on a date?" 

You sucked in a breath, "I'm really sorry Derek, but I only really see you as a friend. Don't get me wrong, I love our banter but I just don't see you in that way." 

He chuckled, "No worries, (Y/N). At least I tried." 

You laughed, "Yup! At least you tried." 

You brought your drinks back to the table. You watched as Morgan, Hotch, Rossi, and Spencer sat in a group. You knew without a doubt that they were going to try to get Spencer to make a move on you. As you watched the guys, JJ, Emily and Garcia were trying to get you to spill all the details on your relationship with Spencer. 

"C'mon, (Y/N)! Just give us a hint!" Emily pleaded. 

"Shhhh. You'll find out soon enough," you replied with a mischievous look. 

"Wait! I know that look! She's hiding someth-" JJ was suddenly cut off by Spencer. 

"Hey (Y/N), do you want to dance?" Spencer asked. 

"I would love to," you replied with a smile. 

The team watched in awe as you and Spencer danced effortlessly on the dance floor. 

"Ready for the grand finale?" Spencer whispered in your ear. 

"I'm always ready." 

Spencer grabbed your waist and pulled you into a searing kiss. You smiled against his lips as you heard a few screams of excitement coming from the girls and a, "Are you kidding me?" from Derek. 

When you two made your way back to the team you weren't surprised to see Hotch's bemused look, Derek's shocked expression, the smug looks coming from JJ and Emily, and the fact that Garcia was receiving all of the winning money from bets made. You rolled your eyes at the stack of cash she was stuffing into her purse. 

"Of course Pretty Boy gets the new agent," Derek said, clapping Spencer on the back. 

"I'm glad I did," Spencer said, his smile lighting up the entire bar. 

"I'm glad you did too," you said as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders.

Rossi let out a groan, "We need more drinks. I've enough of young love." 

You and the team broke out into a fit of late-night laughter. You couldn't wait to spend more time with your new family.

---

[btsandvmin]

Collection of asks 2 - BTSandVMIN

I had to make a second one because the length of the first one was getting way too long. If you are curious about some of my older asks here is the link to my first collection post - Collection of asks - BTSandVMIN

I have this post because I feel some of the asks I answer are worth saving, for me personally, and perhaps for you as well. But I don’t want to put them all in my Masterpost where I want to keep it a bit more structured for my longer posts and analysis. So for asks that are more about answering specific questions or about general things or my feelings I will put them here.

Asks are written more in the moment than my usual posts, so they might be less accurate as it’s all mostly from the top of my head. The newest ones will actually be on top, and then they will get older going down the list. I’ll update it regularly as I answer more asks. :)

Look at jhope's interaction with maknae line

Sorry for spamming with asks

You're so right about how any ship can be possible if you focus on it

I reject any idea of a couple being pushed to protect another 

What do you think of vmin’s busan forehead kiss?

About tae changing the choreo of fake love

What do you think of that famous ji/kook trip together ?

"Friends" doesn't speak about a friendship to me and the title seems like a way to "hide" the true meaning. Thoughts?

I honestly do feel his "best" friend is only ever needed when it's convenient to him

When j/k wore matching shirts asked them something like are u guys dating Its so differnt from his rn to vmin

Looking at th and jm for what they are or represented to be their bond shouldn't be taken at face value. Just reminding that jealousy amongst bandmates do exist

Jimin kissed tae on the pretext of kissing tanny. tae blanked out for a few secs after that

Jin in Jimins Festa profile this yr called Tae his "Bf" and then the next word is "best friend"

I dont think vmin or any other ship in bts for that matter are in any form of relationship right now.

Kind of agree with vmin not spending much time together outside of work & things they do/say barely even give off that "possibly a couple" vibe in general

IF feelings are involved, who do you think fell first and why? 

You already said that you ship them, but do you think that they're real?

I found it kinda weird how jimin apparently "didn't know" 4 o'clock was inspired by him

Have u seen that one radio interview in the past Th openly called out jm for liking men? 

We never see them hangout tgt I mean we have seen ji/kook tgt more often and tae with his wooga squad

What did you think about jimin playing the video game using tae's acc while the latter looked from behind?

When tae posted 'lets keep going for a long time i only have u' they probably only knew e/o for about 2 yrs and now we also know that at that time they still argued and fought with e/o alot. Yet they felt so strongly for their frienship.

What are your thoughts about tae choosing " my time " to recommend it to a non army.

If we look at their personalities tae is more of introverted and shy these days while jimin is more outgoing and loud. But when it comes the them jimin is always the one who seems cautious

Is it my imagination or is Jimin VERY loud lately? I feel like the roles have somehow been reversed.

The timeline of the dumpling incident really confuses me. 

Why do i feel like vmin dont hangout outside of work anymore

Just read your ji/kook vs vmin post regarding festa and I agree. you can tell that jm gets very serious when it comes to tae

A possible sexual relationship between Jimin and Tae. I've seen subtle hints where this might be happening behind the scenes like the recent bang bang con

Whenever joon says stuff like 'what a nice friendship/bcoz he is your friend' vmin have a very neutral or blank face

When do you think their friendship turned into something more?

Did u see how tae coloured jimin's name on the soft board with purple. 

Jimin recently in this festa says jk is his soul brother

Nj nearly always tries to underplay vmin's bond.

Sweet Night: “Sharing my fragile truth That I still hope the door is open Door' 

I feel like jimin was reluctant to talk about the dumpling incident probably bcoz it involves him getting drunk?

Your opinion on the whole "that's smth a couple would do" "you two look like a couple" for ji/kook vs "it's cause he's your friend "

What ur opinion is on the new kdrama that is based on homosexuality. 

Tae has many a times mentioned wanting to have kids or wanting to be father.

Taehyung has always talked about having a family, children and wife etc. 

I personally feel the maknae line in general have been advised not to do lives alone tgt bcoz of the intense shipping

I spend hours reading your posts and I could never get tired of it

I have a doubt about vmin  recently V is so close to JK it seems like V avoiding jimin

Taehyung talked about the movie Call Me by Your Name and its soundtrack

I honestly like how unpopular vmin are.

Let's say JM and TH have other partners - do you think said partners would be okay with a whole song of vmin declaring each other as soulmates? 

In the end there is no moment that is unique to a ship. do you agree?

Some vlives are arranged by the company and sometimes members themselves when the find free time they go live. 

What was the point of making a decision tght to come on vlive tgh infront of the fan to then not do it?

It cant be the company stopping v and jm from doing a live can it? 

Do you the think the reason vmin dont do vlive is because taehyung's feelings are one sided?

Theory on a possible reason on why vmin has not gone to do a vlive on their own for so long?

On bon voyage 3 j hope mentions how v and jk were hugging each other in their sleep.

Ji/kook is obvious (ear nibble) and Tae reacting blank to Vmin moments

But why they dont have funny bro handshake like v/kook?

You are so delusional like seriously how do you function in real life

You know how vmin called eo soulmates. The term can also be taken in a platonic way too right

If there’s a real ship in bts, can you give me your opinion on who?

Tae kissing jimin's cheek after they won an award in some music show (About ship edits)

I think vmin is real. Can you do a Sweet night analysis because in my opion the song dosen't match with the drama

Why are you a Vmin shipper if you don't think Jimin is gay or at least bisexual? 

I don't blame V and Jimin for not doing Vlive together

You know that blurry picture of vmin in 2014?

Tae and jk seem like the members who are most non straight to u and also that jimin might be straight so then isnt it more possible for t**k***k to be the couple?

Do you think that vmin are straight?

Can you tell me what makes you think jk is not straight

Ppl connect sweet night and 4 o' clock with vmin After tae's live yesterday n i m also seeing some ppl being offended by it.

Why do I sense that Tae has more of crush on Jimin (and realized it) but Jimi is oblivious?

Will you still publish that long vmin and lgbt in korea analysis.

Even namjoon said they should go live to discuss about their song.

I dont really consider minjoon vlive as one they did themselves. it was mostly organised by the company

Maknae line avoid vlives and  its really weird that jimi would do it with rm but not tae

Shouldnt it be easy for them to go live tght than anyone else?

Tae is very reluctant or scared to do a vlive with jimin

In the past month when vmin did mention about the song they just made superficial comments

Hi 💙 do you write vmin fics?

I also feel that jm is nervous to talk about the song even though he said he will in the comeback show

If jimin doesn't go live today as well maybe we can get a vmin live?

Vmin antis say vmin are not friends irl and use the fact that they are never spotted hanging out offscreen as "proof"

Will you do a Vmin throwback - 2019?

Can we even be considered delulu anymore for thinking not all of this is a coincidence?

Sweet night doesn't really fit the couple relationship in the drama

What do you mean when you say 'not being delulu'?

I dont know why after listening to sweet night i feel very nervous?

Maybe the lyrics to SN are very well just about the drama/webtoon.

Do you think the songs lie and stigma are related ? 

Namjoon talking about Friends 2 - Making excuses

Namjoon talking about Friends 1 - Can’t write about them

About the “Hello my alien” line in Friends

Do you think they gone do fansing this period of promoting?

Jm said when he wants to make and gift a song if he finds someone he loves and he actually helped write n produce the melody of chingu

Omg Ive been crying over the vmin song lyrics ever since they came out.

Thoughts about the song and what you took out of it

Its not a light hearted thing to call each other soulmate

This kind of debunks the christmas song theory… i feel sad like they are commercialising their friendship

Jimin is partly involved in the making and it will be about Jimin and Tae’s bond

I fear that vmin will become the next larry 

Chrismats song, smile awards. Arent those awards previously decided and even the words written for them by the company?

I was wondering if you're going to write something about bv4 and all the vmin we got there

Do you think that vmin say they love each other truly or for fan service?

Recently i watched a vkook video to compare

Do you know how exactly vmin met?

Whenever I do get the chance to focus on Vmin it’s usully one of three things

At the airport Tae had his arm around Jimin's shoulder but removed it quickly when they arrived in front of the cameras.

I don’t care if people don’t ship Vmin romantically. But with Vmin doing things like this you can’t really blame us if we do.

I got a looooot of asks on the Christmas song and I will adress the ones I have left all in one go

The reaction in bv was probably cause he wants to visits there and jm got there first

Vmin talked about tannie and how they went to visit tannie at tae's parents house

Just do it how you feel comfortable, we are waiting for your analysis

What video is the gif you post with this : Jimin and V talking about going to the Sapporo snow festival and playing in the snow together 

This break was an opportunity for them to be around other friends and family so maybe they just wanted to spend this time apart

Do you really think vm are soulmates? Sometimes i feel like we might be over using this word for them 

Once again thank you for all the asks you send! And also sorry for not being able to keep up and answer them all. I’ll try to answer some old ones as well whenever I can, and I will keep adding some of them to this list. I hope you found something interesting. Thanks for reading!

[bakugou-tm]

HELLO IMYSM i hope youre having a relaxing christnas break bc u deserve to rest!!!! anyways may i request a scenario where katsuki's s/o is in college then with all the due dates and requirements she can't visit him or smth? then suddenly he just appears in her campus and everyone's swooning over him like that, she feels so happy bc she misses him and all,,,,, thank you so much!! have a great day 💜

Awh this one is sweet of course I shall

“What do you mean you can’t come this weekend?!”

Wincing a bit at the loud voice on the other side of the phone you let out a sigh, guilt coursing through your body. You weren’t wincing because of your boyfriend’s aggressive manor, you were used to that. You were wincing because of the slight pain you heard in his voice, though you would never admit.

Every month or so you and your boyfriend would meet up for a weekend due to the long distance relationship you had been put in. While he was off working trying to build his brand as a hero, you had left for your dream school that happened to be two hours away.

Of course he would never step in the way of following your dream, he also refused to cut the relationship off for that matter. It had been decided you would both visit every month until you could graduate and move back with him.

The only problem was, these past couple of months you kept having to call off your meetings due to harsh due dates since you were nearing the end of the semester.

This was the fourth time you had to call your boyfriend and give the dreaded news that you couldn’t come, and it only kept getting harder and harder.

“I..I’m sorry Suki, I wish there was another way…” You said sadly through the phone, “I tried to convince my professor to move back the due date but with exams in less than four weeks, there was no way for him to push it back.”

Biting your lip you closed your eyes painfully as you only heard your boyfriend sigh in response, the sound itself holding every bit of pain he felt.

“I really am sorry Katsuki, I..I miss you so much…” You breathed out, a slight hiccup in your voice as you felt warm tears come to your eyes, “I would do just about anything to see you again.”

Hearing the hints of saddness in your tone Bakugou was quick to speak up, “Don’t think to hard about it shitty girl I understand, as long as you come over here after your exams.”

Perking your head up a bit you smiled, remembering you would be able to graduate just after exams, “Yes yes I will, I promise! I’ll spend everyday with you baby I promise!”

“Damn straight you will..” Bakugou replied, a soft smile on his face as he looked out the window of his suite, “Good luck with your exams babe.”

Smiling giddily at the change of moods you let yourself dance around your room before leaning against the wooden door to your dorm, “Thanks Suki, hey… I love you by the way!”

Blinking for a moment the ash blond remained silent, the last time he heard those words was the day you left for college just four years ago, every time those three golden words came from your lips it took his breath away.

“I love you too (S/o).” Bakugou said softly in the tone causing a surge of warmth to flow through your body before you hung up.

You couldn’t wait to see your Bakugou Katsuki soon.

—

Just a two weeks later you found yourself even more swamped with work. Don’t get it wrong, as much as you loved what you were doing, the study of design interesting you greatly, with so many due dates and assignments it was slowly making you envy the subject.

You tried your best to remind yourself it would be worth it in the end, but with the heavy work load it was growing harder and harder to stay focused.

Throwing on a pair of leggings and a random hoodie out of your closet you walked towards the mirror so you could do your hair.

Snatching your brush from the vanity you began to brush out your (h/c) locks before you slowly stopped, recognizing the orange and black hoodie to be your boyfriend’s hero merch.

Ever since he started his own brand for himself, his marketing team decided to get him all new merch inspired by his hero name, Ground Zero.

It was incredibly smart, the cups, shirts, hoodies, backpacks, anything you could think of were soon to be sold out for the season.

Luckily your boyfriend had sent you a ‘limited edition’ hoodie signed by Ground Zero himself which he made sure to cockily brag about until you threatened to sell it for big bucks.

Giggling to yourself when you remembered those warm moments you shared you let out a sigh, shoving your hair up into a messy bun before you looked at the trademark Ground Zero logo with a determined expression.

“I’m gonna see you soon Katsuki, hang in there..”

–

Bakugou already hated this place, and he had only taken roughly ten steps on the campus.

Everything about this university screamed you, the beautifully creative structure, the hundreds of students zooming around; not without offering a greeting or smile of course. Everyone here was so cheerful even though the aura of the school was clearly tense and stressed.

Shuffling his boots down the cobblestone path to look for any sort of directory, his body froze when he heard an all to familiar cry with those dreaded words he was doomed to hear everywhere he went.

“Is that Ground Zero?!”

Dread flowed through Bakugou’s body as the sound of footsteps scampering over to him came near, sounding like a stampede of animals in a zoo during lunch time.

“It’ll be worth it for (S/o)..” Bakugou grumbled under his breath, his sharp crimson eyes glaring up to the herd of students that surrounded him, cameras already out and ready to fire.

The ash blond should’ve known better than to come to the your campus without a disguise, the fact that he was wearing his hero uniform boots not helping the case either.

Bakugou had just been so excited to get here. After getting off the phone with you and remembering the pained tone of your voice, he couldn’t not come over here. You had one last week at this hell hole, and Bakugou would be damned if you ruined it over the massive stress you were carrying.

The young hero’s agency was far from pleased when they heard he would be under the radar for a full week, but they weren’t in any position to tell him no. At this point Bakugou ran that agency, they depended on him more than he did ever since his popularity boomed.

In less than a year he had been the first teenager to ever be in the top ten, proving to be the youngest successful pro hero in history.

Did this inflate his ego? Yes, yes it did. Did he care? Not a chance. And luckily he knew a certain (h/c) that loved his massively large ego.

The feeling of people grabbing his arms is what snapped him back to reality, his head whipping down to see multiple people shouting twenty different things at once.

“Can you sign this shirt for me?”

“Get a selfie with me Ground Zero!”

“Are you coming to this college permanently?”

“I don’t have a pen, can you just set a mini explosion off on my arm?”

Bakugou let out a growl of annoyance and a bit of disturbance at the strange demands he was receiving, didn’t these students have work to do or something?

Flicking his eyes up in hopes of seeing any sort of directory anywhere, he let out an annoyed sigh when there wasn’t anything in sight. Maybe these kids could be useful for something.

“I’ll sign all your shit later but I have a mission first,” Bakugou barked, effectively silencing the entire group as they awaited his word, “Any of you know where the hell the design wing is?”

Bakugou regretted his idea when an uproar of students began shouting out different answers, rubbing his head he let out another loud yell to silence them.

“Grape hair only, where is it.”

The tall boy in the front blinked for a moment when the pro hero pointed to him before quickly pointing over to the second building in the middle.

“Are you looking for someone?” A girl questioned from the back, causing Bakugou to look over to her direction.

“(L/n) (F/n).”

A few people in the crowd perked up at this, obviously recognizing your name.

“I know (L/n)!” A girl shouted, shoving her way to the front before pointing over to a stone pathway, “I saw her walk over there a few minutes ago with her laptop, I bet she’s finishing up her sketches for exams.”

Flicking his crimson eyes from the path to the girl he gave a curt nod of gratitude before shoving past the students, ignoring their obnoxious goodbye’s and pleads to come back soon.

--

As annoying as this place was, it sure was beautiful.

The stone path shortly had turned into gravel as he got deeper into the trail, the multiple sculptures he had passed beginning to disappear as the atmosphere began to look more botanical.

While he couldn’t help but admit the path was fairly neat, he was also growing fairly annoyed. He just wanted to see your beautiful face already so he could snatch you up in his arms and never let go.

Ducking over a short stone arch that was wrapped in a messy vine that contained pale blue flowers, the ash blond’s dream finally came true as he saw your rugged form laying down on a blanket in front of what looked to be a koi pond.

Just as he was about to walk over to you, he paused when he heard a sharp growl escape your lips. While it wasn’t a foreign sound to him, it certainly was a rare one.

“Come on brain think of something! What else can I add to this to make it different?” You cried, tugging at the loose strands of your hair that already seemed to be falling out of it’s place in your messy bun, “Why is my brain so.. so.. ahhhHhhh.”

Bakugou chuckled quietly to himself as your mini rant went onto a slurred new language of your letting out a mix of growling and groaning noises.

“You know I was pretty scared I wouldn’t be able to find you,” Bakugou spoke up, causing your head to jerk up before you whipped your head around to lock eyes with the ash blond, “But your annoying ass whining was pretty easy to follow.”

“Katsuki!”

Ignoring the harsh insult Bakugou through at you, your eyes lit up upon seeing your boyfriend, quickly stumbling up from your blanket and running towards him.

Bakugou stumbled back a bit from your sudden attack but was able to catch you eventually, lifting your form into his arms as he spun you around with the added momentum you gave him.

“W..What are you doing here?” You said breathlessly, your lips in the most beautiful smile he had ever seen.

Placing a rough kiss on your lips the ash blond plopped you back down on your feet while keeping his arms tight around your waist, “I knew you were probably stressing the fuck out on your last week of exams.. and by what I heard earlier I was correct per usual.”

Rolling your eyes at his cocky tone you placed another quick kiss on his lips before nodding for him to continue on.

“I couldn’t just let you bomb anything because you missed this pretty face so much, so I decided to stay down here for awhile.”

Letting out a few more giggles as the ash blond attacked your face with more quick kisses you squeezed your arms around his neck tightly before looking back up to him, “What about your hero agency? Aren’t they going to be mad that you’re missing a full week?”

Bakugou scoffed at your words, his crimson eyes cockily looking down to you as a smirk flashed across his lips, “Tch.. to hell with that shitty agency, they couldn’t fire me if they even wanted to. Honestly if I said I was leaving I would have all those fuckers on their hands and knees.”

Bursting into laughter you placed yet another kiss on his lips before running your fingers through his ash blond locks playfully, “That’s my cocky little shit.”

Grinning excitedly down to you, the ash blond lifted you back off your feet again causing your laughter to fill the air once more as he swung you around before stumbling backwards, his back falling against the smooth grass while you landed on top of him with a grin.

“Walk much?” You questioned cheekily, causing him to narrow his eyes as he stole a kiss from you most likely to shut you up.

Pulling away softly, you kept your face close to his own, both of your eyes locked on each other as each of your breaths collided with each other’s lips.

“I missed you so fucking much (S/o).” Bakugou muttered just loud enough for you to hear, his hands running down the small of your back.

Inhaling deeply you kept your fingers gliding through his hair as you looked down to him lovingly, “I did too Katsuki, more than you will ever know.”

After what seemed like forever of staring, the two of you shared one last final kiss. While any kiss with Bakugou would always be somewhat rough and demanding, this one held a certain passion and love with it.

A passion of two lovers deeply missing one another’s touch. You couldn’t begin to explain how wonderful your heart felt, as if every bit of stress had flown off your shoulders. The two of you could never be happier. 

Breaking away only because you ran out of air the two of you panted slightly, still looking at each other with joyful loving eyes. 

That is, until you felt a pair of wondering palms.

“You look sexy as fuck in these leggings by the way,” Bakugou said with a mischievous grin, his palms giving your cheeks a firm squeeze causing you to squeak slightly before his grin formed into a somewhat impressed smirk, “Somebody’s been working out, that ass is firm babe.”

Rolling your eyes you placed a warm kiss on his cheek before resting your head on his chest, “And there you go ruining the moment yet again.”

Opening his mouth to rebuttal, both of you came to silence when the all too familiar sound of stampeding feet were heard.

“W..What on earth is that?” You asked softly, sitting up from his chest as the sound grew louder and louder.

Bakugou let out a growl as he sat up, carefully holding onto you so you didn’t slide off of him, “Your fucking classmates, I forgot to disguise myself so they went fucking crazy..”

“And the news spread..” You finished with a gulp, sharing an annoyed yet fearful expression with your boyfriend before an idea popped in your head.

Scrambling off Bakugou’s lap you quickly grabbed your blanket and laptop before yanking the ash blond off his feet.

“The hell are we going?”

Looking back to Bakugou you smiled, grabbing his hand and yanking him down another unmarked trail, “I know this little secret trail back to the campus, that way we can sneak to my dorm hopefully un-noticed.”

Deciding to follow your lead, the ash blond ran side by side with you, taking your laptop and blanket so it would be easier for you to run while you lead him down the messy path.

Bakugou had only been with you for ten minutes and chaos already seemed to be unfolding, but much to his surprise he didn’t mind, quite frankly he actually liked it. It felt like the good old days when they were at UA, just goofing around and living in the light hearted chaos you both grew to love.

But if there was one thing Bakugou knew back at UA and sure as hell knew now, he never wanted to stop living in the chaos with you.

He wanted to rule this world of chaos with you by his side..

Forever and always.

[disloopy]

remedy for a broken heart pt.2

nafla

genre: angst

word count: 3k

a/n. i’m sorry this look on nafla is superior don’t try to convince me otherwise. this part is soooo long im sorry but i hope its a good finish since you guys have been waiting forever for it.

                                 with a little bit of this, with a little bit of that we gon be alright

Nicholas sighed in exhaustion, plopping down on the couch next to you. The current state of the small studio he shared with the rest of the boys reflected upon the amount of time he spent there, working on songs but never finding one that seemed to qualify his ideals.

“What are the stakes?”

“Hm?”

“I mean if I quite music... can I live?”

You turned to him, setting your phone aside. “Ask yourself... you’re the one who said music is your life.”

“I know... but I’m afraid people here won’t accept me cause I’m not one of their own.”

You laughed. “Babe, it’s always hard at first, I’m sure they’ll eventually learn how amazing you are and will look past the differences.”

“You know,” Nicholas murmured. “Jinyoung hyung suggested we go to Korea for a a while.” He knew he had peaked your interest with those words. “He knows some people there. If we can start a stable career, then it won’t be too hard when we come back here.”

You smiled with a bright “that sounds great!” but there was a hint of worry in your eyes. Nicholas liked that. “Jinyoung is always reliable, isn’t he?” you said, looking away for a second. Nicholas nodded in agreement; trusting Jinyoung would be the only right thing to do in any situation.

“So are you all going?”

“Me and hyung are gonna fly out first, then we’ll get the others to come.” You didn’t say anything for a while so Nicholas reached over to clutch your hand. “When I get back, you’ll be dating a real rapper.” He hoped these words could at least be somewhat comforting to you.

“I already see you as a real artist,” you told him with a smile.

“Dude, what’s the deal?” asked Daniel, walking into Nicholas’s room as he was getting dressed for the day. “Mina just asked me if she can stay in the guest bedroom for the rest of the trip... did y’all fight?”

“We broke up,” Nicholas told him plainly.

“What?” Daniel couldn’t hide his shock. “We literally here to relax and you guys went ahead and made your own drama.”

Nicholas sighed in irritation. “Daniel, I really don’t want to talk about this right now.” The younger boy fell silent, and put his hands in his pockets, staring at the floor. 

“Well damn... so did y’all break up break up or...” Nicholas knew he was referring to the ‘incident’ with you . It wasn’t something he was proud of, the fact that all his friends, who were avid supporters of you, were conscious of the whole thing. 

“Fuck... I don’t know. Girls are so complicated.”

Daniel pressed his lips together. “Really, I think you’re complicated.” The two boys chuckled quietly, unsure of what was funny. “So you still up for tonight?”

“I don’t think it’ll be good if I came.. since Mina...”

“Bro, she’s coming too.”

“Alright, I’ll think about it.”

As Daniel was leaving the room, Nicholas asked him to keep quiet about the whole situation to which he respectfully obliged. Daniel was known to have a big mouth but he was also trustworthy and always had his friends best interests at heart. And with that thought, Nicholas found it might be easier to forget about everything and have a fun night out with the boys instead of moping around like this. His friends would be by his side anyway and maybe that’s what he needed at the moment.

Nicholas left the solace of his bedroom to join the rest outside. “Yo, Mina, I got smth for you,” said Jinyoung, walking over to where she sat next to Daniel. She looked up from her phone, trying to peer around Jinyoung to see what he had hidden behind his back. Nicholas also watched, trying not to look too unhappy.

“You know how you love Post Malone? Well, he’s in the city, performing tonight and we got you tickets.”

Nicholas saw Mina’s expression brighten  as she took the tickets from Jinyoung and jumped up, shaking her hips in delight.

“Oh my gosh, you’re the best!” She threw her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. Daniel pulled her back onto the couch.

“Don’t get too excited, you’re going with Owen.”

Mina’s lips parted and she rolled her eyes. “Ugh, are you serious?”

“I heard that!” Owen called from the kitchen to which Mina gave Daniel a sheepish look and he grinned, ruffling her hair. 

Rather than being envious of the way his friends treated her, Nicholas found himself feeling sympathetic. Mina had a way of hiding her emotions ― much like you ― and she was too obviously pretending she didn’t care about what had happened earlier that morning. Her pretense had worked for her in the past but Nicholas knew her too well. 

That night, Jinyoung and Daniel came into Nicholas’s room, informing him that they were leaving and if he’d like to join. “Can I come a bit later? I’m just not feeling it right now,” Nicholas told them, hiding away under his covers where he had been napping in all afternoon after a tiring shopping session with daniel. 

“Bro, you’ve been sleeping all day, what’s wrong with you,” said Daniel, trying to pull his blankets off but Nicholas held on to them tightly in fear his friends might see his phone open to your instagram page which he had been scrolling through for the past hour.

Jinyoung just sighed. “Daniel, leave it. Don’t force him to come.” Nicholas looked at him with grateful eyes and Jinyoung nodded. “I actually gave Mina those tickets so she’d leave you alone tonight,” he chuckled and Nicholas threw a pillow at him. “But you can join us whenever you’d like.”

“Thank you, hyung.”

When everyone left, the house was quiet and Nicholas hated how lonely he felt right now, but he brought it upon himself . He reached for his phone again, refreshing your instagram page to see that you had updated your story. 

Hesitantly, he brought his thumb on top of your profile picture, swallowing hard as your story opened up to reveal a picture of you with your arm draped around an unfamiliar girl, a bottle in your hand, your trademark million dollar smile plastered across your pretty face. You had tagged “Avalon Club” and Nicholas realized it was the same club his friends were going to. That’s why Daniel wanted me to come so bad.

Nicholas closed the story and went through your instagram posts once again. You had changed a lot and the posts showed it clearly. There was a gap in dates wherein you hadn’t posted at all and the posts from before the gap were of him and you, years of memories locked in a couple photos that had been buried under the more recent ones of you looking happier.

“Call when you land, alright?” you said, pulling away from the hug with Jinyoung. You asked him since you knew Nicholas would pass out and forget by the time they go to Korea.

“Don’t worry, I will,” Jinyoung replied, fixing his beanie that had almost fallen off from the contact. You finally moved to Nicholas who was waiting for you with open arms. He pulled you against him, burying his face in your hair ― little did he know, it would be the last time he’d get to do so.

“I’m gonna miss you so much,” you told him with a little pout. Nicholas saw that you were trying hard to hold in your tears and he pulled you closer again so the others wouldn’t see. “Don’t you forget about me while you’re there, okay?”

He moved back, cupping your cheeks. “How could I ever forget about you?”

But the truth is he could, and he did. After going to Korea, Nicholas found himself busier than he would have expected. He made sure to keep you updated for the first couple weeks but after one or two hectic months, he couldn’t find motivation to pick up his phone and call you. His busy schedule kept him occupied but even when he was free, it seemed there was no time for you.

Besides that, Nicholas’s new life presented him with extravagances he could never have imagined of in a thousand lifetimes, nor could he refuse them. Although he had done a very selfish deed and couldn’t muster up the courage to face you after that. 

But the girls that went back and forth from Nicholas’s room didn’t pass without the knowledge of his friends who thought he was being sus and questioned him about it. “Did you break up with Y/N?” asked Jinyoung.

“Uhhh...”

Jinyoung shook his head. “I did not expect this from you... seeing how attached you were to her, I thought you’d be begging to go back to America everyday.”

“Calm down, she’s prolly in another guy’s pants right now too.”

But both men knew you weren’t like that. Nicholas didn’t bother sending a breakup text because you had probably forgotten about him as well. However, you didn’t feel that way at all.

When the crew returned to America after gaining some popularity, you were still there, hitting nicholas up with instagram messages which he didn’t find it in himself to even open because at this point, ignorance was bliss. 

And it seemed like the eye contact he made with you on his first American stage spoke a thousand words, none that either of you could ever speak to each other. To this day, that look still haunted him. It wasn’t any normal “breakup” if you can even call it that. Because sometimes, he found a part of himself was still with you.

Nicholas must have watched your story about a million times, staring at the picture of you for so long his eyes began to hurt. He couldn’t stay here any more. He was pathetic.

“Look what the cat dragged in,” Daniel smirked when Nicholas finally arrived at the club. He had already drowned his self-pity in a few drinks when Daniel and Jinyoung found him seated at the bar.

“Having fun?”

“We should be asking you that,” said Jinyoung, propping his elbow on top of the counter. “You look down... was it Mina?” At this, Nicholas’s head snapped toward Daniel who shook his head quickly.

“I didn’t say anything, I swear.”

“Mina told us you guys were having a fight in the car while we were dropping her off,” Jinyoung explained. “What’s gotten into you?”

Nicholas sighed. “Yeah... it was my fault not hers. Did she tell you we broke up?” His relationship with her was on a thin line.

“Uh no, she said you guys were ‘on a break’ or sum like that.”

Though slightly disappointed, Nicholas was relieved that she didn’t want to leave him altogether. His heart already felt weak at the thought of losing yet someone important in his life again.

“By the way... Y/N’s here,” Daniel said quietly. “We wanted to tell you so it doesn’t turn out like last time.” Nicholas faked surprise but in reality, he knew all too well your whereabouts. 

“That’s nice... I don’t really feel like talking to her right now, though.”

“I guess you gotta tell her that yourself.”

“What do you mean?”

Jinyoung cleared his throat, getting up from his seat. “Don’t look now but she’s walking right towards us.” Nicholas froze. That means you were probably right behind him. Nicholas and Daniel smiled and waved at you over Nicholas’s head and then gave him a look before walking away.

“Hey stranger.” Your voice was soft, almost like a melodic tune. He hadn’t heard it in what felt like ages.

Nicholas turned around. “Y/N! I haven’t seen you in forever! Wow, I can’t believe you’re here!” Was that too much? Who cared, he’d already messed up whatever image of himself you had in your mind. You hugged him but it felt like the distance between you two increased and it was like he couldn’t even feel you.

“I came to your concert but I guess your friends didn’t tell you I was there,” you said, sitting down in the seat next to him. “I figured if you did see me, you would have talked to me but you didn’t so...” 

Nicholas laughed in embarrassment but inside a piece of him died. It seemed he had been too obvious with his hesitation. Or maybe he was just an asshole. The latter seemed quite accurate. 

“Anyway, you are you?”

A mess, Nicholas could reply. But instead he said, “I’m good... I mean, I’m better than better.” 

“How’s life as a celebrity?” you asked, laughing. Nicholas couldn’t bring himself to look at you but your laugh felt like medicine all it’s own.

“Wellll, I don’t really feel like one.”

“Really? You sure do act like one.” You murmured the last part. Was this your way of saying ‘fuck you’ to Nicholas? Perhaps Nicholas was thinking about it too much. He needed to drink a little more.

“Can I get you a drink?” he asked and you shook your head. 

“Nah, I was leaving with my friends right now actually... then I saw you.” You started to get up, taking your bag with you. “I’ll see you around then.” 

You can’t seriously let her leave like this, Nicholas thought to himself as his chest tightened. This may or may not be the last time he’d get to see you. A part of him wanted to remain that selfish and stupid self and let you go your way, as if just seeing you was closure enough.

But it wasn’t. The conversation was riddled with tension and if he hadn’t known any better, you were surely throwing shade at him for what he had done. If this was the only way to get rid of the guilt, Nicholas had to at least try.

He gulped down whatever was left in his glass and then stopped you. “Wait, Y/N! You got a minute?” You shrugged, sitting back down, clutching your purse tightly. Nicholas took a deep breath. 

“Listen... I don’t want to do this all over again,” he said quietly. “I just want to say I’m so sorry for being the worst boyfriend ever... and for being a dick and-”

“Nick,” you said, cutting him off. “I forgive you.” Nicholas fell silent. Those three words didn’t give him the relief he thought he’d get. A lot of him thought that you’d tell him you missed him and that you waited for him all this time and that you still love him. 

But none of that came. 

“Seriously...? Just... like that?”

You pressed your lips together. “I mean, what do you want me to say? That I still have feelings for you and I want to get back together?”

It sounded weird out loud the more Nicholas thought about it. “I just wanted closure... I mean, I’ve been kinda thinking about it and it was unfair to you.”

“Just forget it, Nicholas. You said you were ‘better than better’, what now?”

“Maybe I was lying,” he murmured and like that the stony expression on your face crumbled, softened to your glowing features as you stared at the glass surface of the counter.

“Maybe I’m lying too,” you said. “I mean, I know I said I forgave you but sometimes, I sit down thinking of you and I hate you.” Nicholas chewed on the bottom of his lip as you spoke. All this time he’d been worrying about his feeling and his guilt that he never thought about you.

“I hate you for not coming back for me when you promised me you would. But you know what, you have new friends, a new girl, a new life... who am I to tell you you can’t enjoy that?” You sat back and then looked at Nicholas and Nicholas looked back at you. It was the first time you two made direct eye contact and it didn’t feel like a knife piercing through him. 

“The last time we were together, I couldn’t help thinking of the future and...” you swallowed hard, taking Nicholas’s hands in yours. Your hands were just as soft as Nicholas remembered. “I knew that this would happen because I know you, Nick. I still let you go and maybe it was stupid but I was right.”

Nicholas held your hands tightly. “I wish that I could go back and change things... I swear I’m not like that any more.”

“Maybe you’re not,” you said, reaching up to touch the side of his face. “I hated you for what you did but I admire you for being able to sit here right now and at least tell me how you feel, even if it’s two years later. You’re not who you used to be, I know that.”

“That’s all I want,” Nicholas whispered. “To know that you don’t hate me.” You smiled and exhaled softly.

“I don’t. And I’m not holding this above you, Nick. We were so good together but we ended and that’s fine too. The best way to move on, though, is to let go of what you can’t control, let go of the past, Nicholas. The universe will align itself.” 

There were some days when Nicholas felt suffocated just thinking about you.You two didn’t end on good terms, if you had ended properly at all. But if this was the last goodbye, then Nicholas felt himself healing a little bit. 

You slid off your seat and kissed Nicholas’s lips. He couldn’t give in and kiss you back, but neither did he have the strength to pull away.

“There. Now we officially broke up,” you giggled, slinging your purse over your shoulder. “Maybe I’ll see you later, or maybe I won’t. Don’t beat yourself up over me.” You began to leave with your friends and turned around one last time to wave goodbye. 

It felt like a certain weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Nicholas didn’t feel guilty anymore, the chains around his ankles were finally free. 

He took out his phone and texted Mina. “I’m sorry for everything.” Nicholas got a reply almost immediately, giving him the impression that Mina might have been thinking of him too.

She texted. “I know, love.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

[kaoarika]

As I was tweeting a few of days ago, I wish I was liveblogging my reactions to a webtoon that I’m reading (I mostly read from the LINE Webtoons site, and sometimes, SOMETIMES I check the Discover part of the website ...where I swear needs a better searching system? THERE’S A LOT THERE), because I’m mostly amused at it.

Long story short is that I freaking LOVE "Anne”, even though it gives me some overwhelming and uneasiness feelings around. 

IT's a VERY slow burn (?) romance story (I read material from 2015 up until now) and there are TON of things that haven't been resolved YET (and the in-universe time pace is "a couple of weeks" what).

I know it’s not a perfect story (and the characters are a mixed bag due to how they act), the art in general is fine,  but I’m a dork for romance shit with a fairly interesting plot (and the bonus is that the MCs are around my age... lol).

And, tbh, there are also two reasons why I stayed: one is that it was tagged as mature (and there are smut scenes, even though the free version has them censored -”free”, meaning the author has them uncensored through Patreon tiers... and DAMN... I’m tempted... but I’m not very stable either right now OTL - ), and the other one is that the male MC (Charlie) has an uncanny resemblance to Mage(*) and I couldn’t... let’s say... take my sight away from it >3> (It was... no, it IS weird, lol)

So, I started reading... and I was hooked. Link here (to read from the beginning). 

Due to possible spoilers, let me handle the read cut and start rambling:

Anne is 26 years old, works as a freelance illustrator and is mostly a shy and introverted woman who doesn’t trust too much in other people besides her friends and people inside her comfort zone (such as her sister). She gets invited to an Elementary School reunion, a time of her life that she isn’t very fond of (relatable af). The last person she finds there is the boy, now a grown up and very successful man, who used to bully her, Charlie. And things turn upside down from there on.

There’s things here and there that mostly gives clues to why she became the person she is in the present, or why she doesn’t trust that much to Charlie, who seems to have changed his life around as well... “Seems” is a very keyword here (due to how events have been going on). And I cannot really blame Anne.

Her friends are mostly shitty, tbh?. Mónica even more so than Sofía. Mónica has been her friend since Elementary School, but she is so self-centered and very manipulative to play things in her favor. It looks like it’s very intentional (or more likely, automatic... because she sends LOTS of mixing messages, even if she claims she cares for Anne... all due to missunderstandings), as it look like there was a tension building up right after she developed a crush on Charlie during High School and that ONE NIGHT incident that COULD have made her go into a more antagonistic route towards Anne. She does mention that their friendship reached a rift thanks to Edward... because, he is another piece of work thanks to the hints given around.

Sofía was someone Anne started to be friends with more towards her adult life, and at the same time, I don’t think she is the best influence in her adult life, either. I think she is giving her best support, and often acts like a mom towards her, but she is also very pushy in some situations (for example, she is the one who forced Anne to go to the reunion... helped Charlie to go to see her, even when she told her she didn’t want to see him again) that may not help that much.

Martha, Anne’s sister, looks like it’s the only one of her family that is around (their parents got divorced somewhere along the line, and looks like Anne doesn’t really get along them), even if she is overseas. She looked her up when younger (as she often defended her from Charlie) but she also has some issues around (mostly, she looks like a very impulsive person... I kinda understand why asking money and help to her sister is the only way (even though there’s little consideration about Anne’s own economical struggles, too?).. but gdi, I think most of her problems overseas could have been avoided if she wasn’t too impulsive... and I REALLY suspect there is smth more shady to her story in Japan than it has been shown (truth to be told, for one, I do know that living there is expensive... hence why I think that there’s smth shady around).

Edward... at the moment hasn’t shown up in front of the reader. But there are hints to make us think that he may be manipulative (if I trust Mónica’s words about that) and that his relationship with Anne was not exactly the best one (up until recent time, as he has been gone for months, and suddenly he appears in Japan saying that he is “coming back” soon). Like... maybe he is manipulative... (”best” case scenario is that he and Anne had a very toxic relationship, and their “break up” involved cheating... in other words... reason why she doesn’t trust men either)... but details are still in the dark. They apparently started dating since high school...

And then there’s Charlie. 

I’m not going to defend why he bullied Anne when they were younger, as there are always other things to reccur when starting getting along with someone you like. Personally, for every little bad thing he did, I think he should have apologized for that at the time (there was one time he accidentally closed her inside a janitor’s room when they were kids... it was a prank gone wrong), and eventually (more than a decade or so later) he does (she isn’t nowhere happy with that apology, though). 

He has a loooong story with Anne besides the bullying part, as they have been classmates all the way up until High School. It’s clear that he always liked her (to an unhealthy(?) degree of obsession afawk)  and has always been in a “we are not friends, but mostly acaquaintances” friendship (not sure if frenemies) relationship with her ever since... probably more in high school, where he was part of the popular crowd clique (he claims he didn’t like being part of it, though). 

That ONE night incident is part of this, too... but maybe it is problematic no matter how you look at it (not going too much into details about this, but WOW). The aftermaths are clear in many things, though (Anne feels embarrassed enough about this, even to claim nothing happened; this is just my theory, but Mónica probably is the one who started the gossip due to jealousy, and it doesn’t help that Charlie was popular, antagonizing Anne in a whole instead of “helping” her...)

Let me be clear, Charlie is not a saint, although he is noticeable embarrassed about a loooot of stuff he did in the past (and it comes out that the guy ended up being a dorky geek, too), many of which he ended making more enemies than friends. There’s still stuff that the reader doesn’t know that much about him (like his real profession... he is in a department of some kind of business and that forces him to take trips), however, and he claims he didn’t really had a steady romantic relationship with someone (he didn’t want to because “there was always a girl on his mind”, so past flings may be a thing... and he has a female stalker) until recent times -and they aren’t longer together, either-. His way of acting in the present is also not the best, I swear (oh, it is an improvement from his childhood and possibly teenage years, but he needs to improve much more).

Anne herself isn’t that much of a saint either, although I think I relate a lot of stuff she goes through (mostly relating to work and comfort zones)... I do wonder if I had friends like hers... but then again, that would be probably more toxic than positive in my own life.

And SO, things start to heat when Anne and Charlie  share a kiss and mixing feelings start to bloom in Anne’s mind and heart. That much (and amusing) that it allows to see some of her alter-egos (?), each representing a part of her (her kid self, her teenage self, her “professional persona”, her “heart”/romantic self -who still misses Edward, so it rises some questions about who he is, though...- and her sexual needs, ejem, literally her vag**a), lol. Similarly, Charlie has its own (although a bit different, at the moment?) - his professional persona, his teenage self (who I suspect may be his teenage wrath from the aftermaths of the night incident), and his sexual needs (? or so I think he represents it, lol).

There’s too much I want to talk about, and this post is getting too long already ;;.

But these all things also raise questions?! And I am so into it that? AHHHH!!! 

No wonder why I feel overwhelmed about it. Even with the usual that I’m reading in the main page of Webtoons (that have an established storyline going like Gourmet Hound, Assassin Roommate, or Kind of Confidential), right now.

Bless you if you read this rambling.. I swear it could have gotten longer. The series is ongoing... apparently there’s still too much to happen and like I mentioned in the first few paragrpahs, I’m even more amused this has happened in-universe in a couple of weeks (or at least a month?) during the past 3 years IRL.

(*) And I really want to think this was unintentional... hence why I mention “uncanny resemblance” (it’s mostly the form of their faces, and how they look with their hair tied up, most of the time Charlie doesn’t do this... you cannot imagine how hard was not thinking in this when I have one of my Mage keychains on my desk...