#sorry for the vent ! feel free to scroll past !

[write-it-motherfuckers]

Well, that was a much bigger shitstorm than I had been expecting.

First of all, kid's ok, they just kept him over night because he's so young and concussions are a bit more of a risk, especially given his extensive medical history. Thankfully though, he seems to be on the mend, and he should be home by the time you Darlings are seeing this post.

As for why you're seeing this post, originally I was just meant to be playing emergency babysitter until the dad finished work and got home, but unfortunately he's just as big of a piece of shit as he usually is (Why they're still together and actively having more kids I have no idea) and decided that since someone was already with the kids, then instead of rushing home like he was asked to by his wife, he was going to make the best of it and go out drinking with his friends.

Both his wife and his elderly mother in law tried to contact him, but after the third set of calls, he turned off his phone. Not once did he ask who was with his kids, or how his injured son was, all he cared about was going out and drinking. (I sincerely hope she leaves his arse soon. Holy shit)

The mum did apologise to me repeatedly, but since their only living family is her elderly mother who is by no means capable of looking after five kids under the age of seven, she really didn't have a choice but to rely on me until her or her (shitty) husband could return home. And for obvious reasons, she couldn't exactly leave a four year old in the hospital by himself.

In the end, the "dad" didn't get home until about nine am this morning, stinking of grog, and I don't feel comfortable leaving them with him. I did quickly head back and grab a charger for my phone so that I could type this up, but since the youngest ones will be waking from their after feed nap soon, and the mum is still a way's off from getting back, I'm probably not going to have time to sort through my reblogs properly.

On a small positive note though, it does look like all my stuff is back now, so I should be able to go back to posting older reblogs tomorrow. For now, I'm just going to focus on the kids and then go back and crash into my own bed.

Thank you for your understanding and patience, Darling ones. Please remember to take care of yourselves 🖤

[princessg3rard]

slight vent about sensory issues below the cut :3

why is everything so loud and itchy and weird Jesus fucking christ !! can the idf really not afford to not yell at 18yo for like 3 sec ?? just those 3 like pls I just want a tinsie winsie break that’s all

I’m really grateful that I serve but also I want to kill everyone and run away into the woods

[seiwas]

a good cry always does wonders

[iknowicanbutwhy]

12 hour shifts should be illegal. Holy hell.

[brown-little-robin]

𓃦 introduction post ahead 𓃥

I'm Robin, and you can call me by that name <3

My inbox and messages are open for anyone to drop by. I'm a little slow to reply, sometimes, but I like talking to people <3

If you talk to me about things I'm into, tell me about your ocs, or share about your mundane life, I may become fond of you for the rest of time. this is your warning.

I like it when other people put their interests and likes in their bios, so here are some of mine: I'm always thinking about Mob Psycho 100, The Murderbot Diaries, and The Goblin Emperor. Currently obsessed with JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. I like brownies and canids and clowns (ask me about clowns I'm so normal about clowns) and dancing badly alone. I'm learning Japanese. I have synesthesia and love explaining what it's like.

Tags to be aware of: I try to remember to tag for blood and gore ("tw blood" and "tw gore"). I also try to tag for cursing ("tw language") but don't always catch things right away. "memento mori" is my tag for posts that center death and mortality, "faith tag" for posts that are explicitly about religion. "discourse sorry" is for anything I feel might evoke anger or stress related to the real world. (I avoid spreading that in general, but occasionally do reblog with that tag.) "Robin speaks" is for me talking, and "Robin processes emotions on main" is my tag for messy personal posting. I also have sorting tags for things like fandoms (e.g. "jojoblogging" and "mob meta") and art forms (e.g. "ceramics" and "fabric art").

Feel free to block any of my tags; I never mind. Also, note: I have plenty of emotional support that is not tumblr-based, so please Don't be shy or guilty about scrolling past my emotions-posting. That's all just me venting.

Links: I've got a ceramics sideblog at @robinsceramics where I post pictures of my stuff :] and I occasionally write fanfiction here.

and finally. I will leave you with this

[lovvecherrymotion]

Hello!! Can I ask for a personal opinion...? I hope you won't mind too much, I really like your posts and didn't know who else to ask :') It's a really amazing fandom here and I love everyone like real friends, even if I haven't met anyone. Some time ago I shared few personal posts which was just me grumbling about life, and got unfollowed by a mutual I really looked up to :") Then few months later it happened again with another mutual. I know not to take it personally but now every time I post anything, especially if it's personal stories, all I think is that people hate seeing it and I should just shut up deactivate completely. I still follow them and I see them making real friends with others, so it kind of stabs me twice I guess.. And even months later I keep questioning what did I do wrong? Am I that annoying, even online where people can just scroll past? I know it's not that serious and I shouldn't care and no one cares either, but it's been eating me up. Actually I don't think there's anything that can be done, sorry to use your ask box to gush out xD I really wanted to be on anon so no one else can unfollow me :') (also I don't think you know them and we don't speak but I love seeing you on my dash). Yeah I don't know what this was either, also sorry to jump you up with this from an early morning xD (You can delete it too I promise it's completely fine, I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable)

hi, anon! i'm finally sitting down and chilling for a couple of hours until my next flight, so i can answer

i think we've all felt that way at one point or another. hell, whenever i make a personal post or vent about something i'm always really scared i'm annoying others. i think it'd be really hurtful if i wrote a personal post and had a mutual/friend unfollow me over it and i'd be overthinking it a lot. while i'm a big believer in curating your online space and i don't think unfollowing/blocking has to be *that* personal, i can't recall ever unfollowing a mutual or a friend because they were venting about their problems. once again, people are free to do whatever and they don't have to justify themselves, but it just sounds really shitty. tbh we're not always in the mood to deal with other people's problems, but if it's just a post you can scroll past, you can... just do that

that being said, i don't think it's a you problem. i mean, obviously i don't know who you are, but just from this ask you seem very sweet. i do think joblr is a very nice place, with very nice people, but it can be hard to get a conversation/friendship started, especially if it seems like everyone else is somehow able to make friends and you're not. suddenly it feels like a big thing you're excluded from and while everyone else is having fun you're left wondering if you can be a part of it. i've felt that way - and i still do sometimes ngl. but i can promise you there's plenty of us around here who love to talk to others and make friends. ofc you don't always click with everyone, but i'm sure there are other joblr users who'd love to befriend you 💜

(also thanks for the very kind words! i'm sorry if this is a bit rambly but it's been a long week lol)

[taintedlxve]

Hey all

I'd like to apologize for the way I've behaved for the past few months. If you never read my vents this doesn't really pertain to you so feel free to keep scrolling.

My hiatus on this blog will prolly last for a good while longer and probably include my sfw blog too since try as I might I can't make myself do anything there rn.

I've been, until recently, the victim of several really abusive and scary relationships over the course of years of my life basically since I've moved out and speaking out about the way I've been treated often came with social consequences so I've often felt forced to let things go before I was ready to.

This isn't to excuse the quite frankly unhinged way I've been obsessing over a single person on dash for like months even though it was clear people were uncomfortable but to explain why it went on for so long and why I felt so desperate to be heard.

I just felt like another person I trusted had gotten away with abusing me and it was just rotting me from inside out, and I felt the need to vomit it where people could see it until I could feel some external vindication.

Unfortunately the fact I wasn't completely clear why I was so upset and just kind of slinging snippets of vent out into the ether allowed the subject of my venting to conveniently conflate specific comments from those vents with a message I sent afterwards to paint me as a psychotic bitch who evaded a block to curse her out (which to be clear, didn't happen. I still have a copy of the message sent.)

This combined with the lack of remorse in the post mentioned solidifies for me that I want nothing to do with this person but frankly It's a post that wouldn't exist if I hadn't simply confided in my friends instead of feeling the need to vomit my trauma out in the open.

It hurts to see people imply I was 'leaving things out' but when I'm doing nothing but airing out random unfettered anger I can't exactly blame them.

I'm sorry being so messy, and while I don't think anything I said in that vent was untrue I regret writing it or not at least deleting it like I do most of my vents.

I'm gonna continue to stay off until I feel like I conduct myself normally around people I have issues with and I hope I haven't damaged my relationship with any of you with my behavior.

[the-bar-sinister]

Hi Sinister. I hope you all don’t mind a vent.

I’ve been worried about posting about my F/Os because I see posts that people say that they hate when a character is mischaracterized by the fandom. I feel like I’d be doing a disservice to those people if I post stuff about my relationship with my F/Os of a certain fandom. (No specifics, sorry.) People in that fandom seem very protective of the characters being in character all the time. (Which isn’t wrong or anything, it just makes me feel very nervous about posting when it comes to the way I enjoy the characters.) I saw a post about someone ranting about how people that flanderize the characters of this specific fandom should just move to other fandoms that are more lighthearted, because there’s plenty of those out there.

Compared to other fandoms I’m in, this one is just really divisive for me because I’m definitely flanderizing the characters in my writing. I have strong feelings for the characters but the way that I write them is more opposite to their canon personalities. (Not totally opposite, but the characters are less violent.) Have any of you had a similar experience, or any tips on how to move past this? Idk how to not take those kind of posts about people not liking the characters being ooc too seriously. 🙁

Hey friend. I'm sorry you're feeling so rough about this. I can definitely understand the source of your discomfort -- it's never fun to feel like you're doing something that other people are vocally complaining about.

But I do think that you're taking it too seriously, and I don't mean that in a way to belittle you or make light of your feelings. But I remind you that we are our own harshest critics.

Please remember that fandom is supposed to be for fun first and everything else second. And that means fun for you.

Characters don't belong to anyone in fandom. They're like dolls for you to play with.

And you are allowed to play with the doll however you want to, even if other people say how you are playing is "wrong".

There is no one true correct interpretation any media or character. Your interpretation is as valid as anyone else's.

Anyone who doesn't like seeing your posts about the character is perfectly capable of scrolling away from your posts, filtering your tags, of blocking you.

They can say "he would not say that" all they like, but you can keep writing whatever you like.

You do not owe anyone "in character" interpretations, fic or headcanons.

Your shipping is for you, and you don't need to change it for anybody.

If you really want to show you're being an extra good sport about it, feel free to specify that your version of the character is an AU version. You can even given them a designation like nice!character or my version!character and tag them that way!

Sending good vibes your way, and keep shipping! 💖

[chesedwithacap]

quick little vent feel free to scroll past

i fucking… hate it when someone tries to tell me or teach me something i know or have been doing. like, you don’t need to say it again? you’re wasting time that can be used doing said thing or teaching someone else.

i also fucking hate it when people try to control what you do in stuff like games and shit, and then like go “but you need it” like i don’t need it, i’ve been going fine with how i play for the past year and a half. i do not care what you think, how i play is not your business. it doesn’t affect you.

ok little vent over sorry im. a bit frustrated

[chilled-rose]

Update

I’m sorry my blog title is all dramatic, this will probably also be a bit dramatic. I have had a lot on my mind for months and while I have never been much of a community member, I still felt I should post an explanation. In all honesty, this is for the sake of my sanity more than anything. Possible TMI, likely a thinly veiled vent. Not a fun read, feel free to scroll.

I have refrained from interaction lately, but I do still frequently lurk around on here, checking in from time to time. I’ve disappeared because a lot has changed with the way I feel about myself and fetish content. I have always been shy/insecure about these things all my life, but due to some events a couple years back it’s grown into an intense shame that I can’t seem to shake. It’s been weighing heavily on my mind every time I decide to view any of the content for my own entertainment, and I can’t help but feel disgusted with myself. I am well aware this is something to seek therapy for, not to post about on the internet. However, at the moment I have nowhere to go, and I felt that this was better than either nothing or pestering some poor individual about it.

I created this blog at 18 years old, all too excited to explore and try new things. Looking back, I believe I went overboard, and I grew to hate the things it brought out in me. Logically I know none of it is wrong, but that does nothing to keep the shame from overwhelming me at the thought of it. One thing I would like to ask, if anyone is reading; do you believe 18 is truly mature? I’ve had experiences on here, with someone a full decade older than me, that I find repulsive to look back on. I will of course spare the details, and I will not elaborate on who, but lately the memory has been keeping me up at night. I believe it is brought up by the messy ending of a friendship with someone whom I shared this experience with, so perhaps I am blowing things out of proportion. Even so, I feel entirely screwed up, and I fear I may never look at myself the same again. I identify as asexual, but even if I have no sexual attraction to other people, it is an awful experience to have no feelings of comfort or security in your own sexuality and body. I have this fetish whether I like it or not, and I can’t disregard it as part of myself and my past, but I feel that my experience with it went all wrong far too young. I am aware 18 is legal adulthood but looking back I see nothing but a naive child. Barely out of high school, no job, no car, no partner, living at home, in far over her head. I don’t know if I am letting myself play the victim and letting it get to me far more than it should. I don’t know what to think. I don’t know if typing this out here will help at all. But what’s happened has happened.

[kulemii]

Not sure if I should send this - you certainly don’t have to answer it. It just didn’t sit right with me to scroll past that post. Just wanted to say I’m glad to have a mutual like you. Seeing your ramblings tags on one of my posts is a highlight of my day. Honestly, I wish I knew you irl because you’re a great person. I know I’m not about regularly, but if ever you want to talk, do feel free to drop a message, even to just talk rubbish. Sorry for speaking out of turn. -M

friend, i most definitely appreciate you going out of your way to say something. don't worry about speaking out of turn. it means alot. if i'm honest, and i can't remember if i said this in the post or not, it's a little hard to re-read but i feel similarly! i wasn't even sure if i should post it in the first place? when i come to my blog to vent, i never want to come across as if i'm seeking attention or anything, ya know? i've just had a lot that i've been feeling and i needed to get it out and smacking it out onto my keyboard and posting it felt like a good way to do about doing that. it did help alot. it really did.. but still i do have that guilt and those thoughts where i feel like i did something fucked up and i should delete it but.. i think if i can fight against it and keep it here and i can press on and get better it'll serve as a good reminder for how things used to be and i can be proud of how far i came. does that make any sense?

anyway, i've rambled enough. thanks again- i appreciate the offer and i'll keep you in mind 💖

[wrongcaitlyn]

hi!! i know you get a lot of music recs but i thought i might just add some of my own too bc i love the dear reader series sm and literally cannot stop connecting songs to it 😭

'favor' by julien baker is maybe a bit depressing but also some of the lyrics just seem so nico, like 'turns out that all my friends were trying to do me a favour' and saying how hard it is to be tender and all (i feel like she has a lot of depressing songs which could be past nico-coded but not so much with his mental health getting better??)

but also more positively 'free treasure' by adrianne lenker which doesn't super feel like nico's style in terms of melody but the lyrics kind of fit to me, with things like 'you show me understanding, patience and pleasure' and 'just when i thought i couldn't feel more, i feel a little more'

also (last one!!) 'it'll all work out' by phoebe bridgers i can kind of see as nico either to bianca or to himself pre-transition - just kind of sad but healing at the same time

thank you for letting me ramble!! i love your work <3

AHHSDF YAY MORE SONG RECS sorry it took so long to get to listening to these but i'm here!!!

i swear julien baker (as well as lucy dacas) are artists that i keep telling myself i need to listen to bc i do love a lot of phoebe bridgers and boygenius songs and yet i never have😭 I WILL THIS SUMMER god i actually need to make a list of discographies to binge it's just hard forcing myself to listen to new musiclksjfd

but anyway onto the songs!!

you are SO real about depressive songs being so nico, and honestly even though his mental health is getting better, the problems don't always go completely away! i think it's very natural for him to still have those depressive songs, because like, he is still struggling with depression and ptsd and definitely still has bad days, and uses music as a way to vent :/

as for favor, these lyrics are SPOT ON but what stood out even more was the production on first listen, like it's such a nico coded song from everything from the lyrics to the production and i just love it?? god i have a playlist of songs that i want to add to albums and this is going straight there, at this point i have so many songs that i don't have the timespan to possibly have nico release all of them but i'll just keep in mind for possible future playlists😭😭 i absolutely love that one!! the lyric you pointed out is literally so real, and also "how long do i have until /i've spent up everyone's goodwill?" is just SO nico coded oh my god😭it's definitely him in high school coded, just thinking every now and then of like why he ended up where he did :/ and "who put me in your way to find? what right had you not to let me die?"LKSDJFDSJF IM SO OBSESSED WITH THIS NOW WTF im gonna keep listening to it all day and stressing over which possible album i could fit it in because i'm like out of room but also aghsldkfjsldf it needs to go somewhere

anyway. NEXT ONE

these lyrics😭😭i wanna cry this is just him finally feeling comfortable and happy and content with his life and with will and AHGSLDFJ THAT MAKES ME SO HAPPY "we're sitting on the kitchen floor / just when i thought i couldn't feel more / i feel a little more" LIKE. THEY'RE JUST. SOULMATES. I LOVE THEM. AND I LOVE THIS.

(just scrolled back up and saw that that was the lyric that you put into the ask and that was a total coincidence but just goes to show your idea was absolutely perfect like spot on)

now onto phoebe!! i've listened to stranger in the alps a few times but i don't think i heard this one before which is odd, but then again i don't listen to phoebe as much as i'd like :/

but holy shit. i wish i heard this earlier. this one is 100% going on an album i just need to figure out which one bc it's literally perfect wtf. "when she needed me i wasn't around" talking abt when bianca died and he wasn't there, and then "now the wind is high and the rain is heavy" the RAINSDLFJ all i can think abt is nico thinking abt bianca when his dad died and the same sorta situation :// "never goes away, but it all works out" is just him finally trying to work through the trauma over the years and him finally coming to a time of like sort of peace? and contentedness in his life??

also idk why but my first thought at the lyric of "better off with him than here with me" was hearing it as "better off with Him" as in like referring to god and heaven, "than here with me" :(( i know that's 100% not the og meaning but that's how i initially interpreted it (bc i was already thinking of biancaksljdf) and probably how i'll continue to see it😭😭

anyway these were SUCH beautiful recs omg thank you so so much <333 i shall now scour through my playlists to try and find spots for them!!! worst comes to worst i'll have to move a few other songs into being unreleased songs, or singles, and maybe make a playlist of unreleased songs, and another for singles, we'll see!

[squimoo]

Im sorry if my vent posts make anyone feel uncomfortable by the way, please do feel free to scroll right past them. I dont want to upset anyone. Tumblr is just one of the only S'medias I know I dont have immediate family following and it feels like a comfortable format to just strain brain spaghetti out.

[soulful-yen]

Vent// Feel free to scroll past if ya want (sorry for so many of these, just need to get things off my chest I guess.

// Well...my cat (or rather kind of the family cat) passed away suddenly today. It was some completely unexpected shit. She had been showing signs that she was unwell for a bit but I thought she would get better.

// I thought I did everything I could to take care of her, only for the shit to blow up in my face like pure usual. This hurts so fucking bad man. It hurts

[2bitviking]

Hey, sorry in advance, this is kinda a rant post/vent post. I try not post to much personal stuff on here because I'd rather y'all view you're old pall 2bit as a nice purveyor of landscapes, bad puns, and calls to overthrow capitalism as opposed to someone having a breakdown in the break room at like 7am. Feel free to disregard, not read, and just scroll right past I just need to shout into the void a little.

I just feel so alone and so burnt out and so empty. I'm at work 60 hours a week and feel so suffocated by it. I have to be the one to put on a happy face, to calm down the patients, to pick up where the other staff fuck up or just don't care enough to do their job right. If someone's getting hit it's me. If someone's cleaning up shit it's me. If someone's cleaning up someone's mistake it's me. And I'm just so damn tired if being the one that everyone else has to rely on. All my patients are just so damn exashting, like I don't expect them not to be needy and aggressive and annoying but it's just every damn second there's something new and they can't just tell me everything they need at once they're gonna make me go back and forth to the same place for every new thing. Idk I'm just so ready to leave here but the only place we're I could make close to this much are just as bad and I am barely making ends meet as is. And it doesn't help things that I still have to be the supportive one everywhere else in my life. The closest things I have to friends always make me feel like the after thought and tag along and barely interact with me if it's not in a group, and when we do I always feel like I have to walk on eggshells because if I say something out of turn they won't say anything to me and just send blocks of text about it to each other later and have someone else ask me to apologize or address it. No one cares about including me, or making me feel comfortable, or doing things I can be apart of. It doesn't help that I don't even feel like I have any support from my partner either. Like I love them, and I get that they're in school and working, but I haven't felt like this was an even relationship in so long and I don't even know how to fix it at this point. I have to cover rent, health insurance, phones, most our food, any significant spending or emergencies, and I still have to give them money to cover personal cost like every ither month. I can't even vent or tell them about issues in our relationship or in my life because they're somehow less mentally stable than I am and it always leads to a breakdown or them not being able to focus on school and work and setting things back further and at this point it's just easier for me to be unhappy and suffering than for me to have to clean up another mess. Literally the only solution I can think of is to leave and get a roommate that could help cover rent but that doesn't fix any problems, it just frees me up of like a grand a month in expenditures so I have the time and money to address my other problems. And even then it's not like I have anyone that would want to move in so I'd be scrambling to find some random person to live with and just hoping that all works out. I just don't feel like I have a home or a place where I can just be myself anymore. I just want to feel like I have people I can be around without being bombarded about when I'm gonna have a kid or get a house or move on with my career, or be made to feel like I'm a threat if I act like anything more than just pleasant wallpaper. I'm just so tired and alone and I just want someone in my life to give a shit and help.

[oh-well-shit]

Sometimes I forget that you can just post stuff on tumblr that isn’t necessarily with the purpose to entertain or engage an audience, so I’m gonna vent a little bit. Feel free to scroll past.

I’m coming up on one year since I moved to my new city, and it’s crazy to think about how generally unhappy and stuck feeling I still am a year later. My year started with a terrifying SA, and then the slow but continuous abandonment of my oldest and dearest friends, and I just have not rebounded from that at all. I haven’t found my people. And I’m terrified that when given the opportunity to have new people, I won’t trust them.

My current roommates are really nice but they’re a bit younger than me, and guaranteed to leave sooner or later when they can afford a place on their own bc they are a couple. And I’d be so happy for them! But it’s just very exhausting living in a big city with no tribe, and then visiting home for the holidays and realizing you’ve lost the tribe you had there too. Being in my hometown the week of thanksgiving was almost physically painful because I realized that all my oldest friends were likely getting together without me. And that was 100% their choice, not mine. To maroon me on an island. And I’ll never understand what happened, or how it was justified.

It probably doesn’t help that I’m low on work right now, which is making me a bit stir crazy. Therapy has helped me with some coping mechanisms for when I’m REALLY spiraling, but that only helps when I don’t have a logical reason to be upset. Coming up on the anniversary of my assault, as well as the holiday season, while feeling alone, is absolutely devastating.

The extra sad part is that if those friends who left me came and said they’re sorry and they want me in their lives again, at this point I’d probably say yes. And even apologize for whatever I did to make them discard me.

What is it about me that’s so unloveable? Unlikeable? What is it about me that makes people want to leave?

People always say to put yourself out there, join a club, go out by yourself, but I’ve been burned by all of the above. I wanna go out tonight and not just sit in my bed feeling sorry for myself, but I don’t know if it’s more depressing to do that or to go out alone and have no fun and come home with my tail between my legs. Which is also what happened on Halloweekend this year.

I can’t help but feel that everyone I know who isn’t my literal family is just waiting for an excuse, an out, to not have to deal with me anymore. And I can’t even say it’s irrational bc it literally happened with 4 of my most meaningful friendships within the span of a month, earlier this year.

I’m not asking for pity, although I’m feeling quite a bit of self pity. But I would love some assurance that it will get better. That I will find people who care for me, and I won’t feel like this someday. That people in my life will come to surprise me, in a good way. That I won’t have to feel so afraid.