#he's been in love w you for so long but he's self-deprecating to the core & his cocky demeanor is barely skin-deep he thinks u deserve the

[touyaz]

modern au touya is so important to me you Don't understand .

[phyrestartr]

Love Is Not My Right | Sukuna x M!Reader

W/C: 1.1k

#NSFW, bottom!reader, top!sukuna, reader is early thirties, sukuna is mid twenties, reader is a uni prof, sukuna is a uni student, DON'T SLEEP WITH YOUR PROFS IRL PLS THANK YOU, questionable relationship, smut, fluff, angst, self-deprecating reader, soft sukuna?, sukuna has daddy and mommy issues, not edited that much lol IT'S A DRABBLE STFU

tags: @kamote-kuneho @better-imagination-9 @flowersatwork (SOZ IF Y'ALL HAVE ALREADY READ THIS HFOHGIOHG JUST REMEMBERED I DIDN'T ADD TAGS)

“Fuck, Teach,” Sukuna groaned. His hips pistoned against yours harder, accentuated by the sharp clap of skin meeting skin. He squeezed your thigh, the one of the leg thrown over his shoulder, before slapping the side of your ass as his head tilted back with a throaty groan.

You, on the other hand, were a trembling mess--and at the hands of your student, no less. Everything about this was uncouth as could be; Sukuna was nearly a decade your junior, he was in your class, and he had zero qualms about the fact that you were his professor. He saw you, decided he wanted you, and would therefore have you.

It was easy saying no in the beginning. He was a typical punk with sharp wit and a sharper tongue--many men like him had made passes at you in the confines of your classroom, but Sukuna had the smarts and charisma to back up his flirtatious remarks and daring whispers.

But, if you were being honest, maybe it was because you'd been engaged twice, un-engaged thrice (long story). Maybe it was because you'd been cheated on and dumped on loop. Maybe it was because you'd given up on romance and sex and everything else and–well, maybe that was why you succumbed to his advances. Maybe you were just sad and lonely, willing to be taken advantage of under the man's misguided thought that you'd give him a better grade if he fucked you good enough. You wouldn't. But he never asked for it, either.

You jumped when another sharp spank sent ripples of bitter pleasure and pinching pain fluttering across your skin. The simple feeling had you clamping down around the man and gasping.

“Itadori-kun–”

“What did I say?” Sukuna groaned, spanking you again and adjusting the leg hooked over his shoulder. “First name.”

Your eyes blurred slightly from the embarrassment and pleasure of it all. “I--but that's–”

“I'm ‘boutta cum in your ass, ‘n you're worried about honorifics?” Sukuna cackled, holding your thigh with both hands as he focused harder on moving his hips faster and faster. “‘M fucking you…in your own fuckin’ bed…and you're–ah–worried about–fuck, you're so fucking good--fuck.”

The searing friction eating you alive tripled in Sukuna's frenzy to reach his second high of the night. You burned alive, shyly crying out as he hit your soft spot over and over, tightening up more and more until you plummeted into your third (fourth? Fifth?) orgasm dealt by Itadori Sukuna's hand. Well, hand, mouth, and cock.

“Sukuna,” you gasped, curling into yourself and subsequently toward him, fisting one hand into his dark hoodie to try and ground yourself against the relentless assault.

His hips stuttered when you called his name. His lips crashed against yours, then, with teeth clacking together and tongue bullying into your mouth as he trembled and slammed in with too-much strength to pour his cum into your core.

“F-fuck. Love that sh-shit,” he stuttered as his stomach tightened and contracted, his eyes rolling back before they fell closed to indulge in the pleasure crashing down on him. But his body's seizing didn't stop his hips from moving–he kept pushing and pushing, hard and sloppy and weak but so, so desperate to jam more and more deeper and deeper into you.

Eventually, when you were both threadbare and burnt out, he pulled out and collapsed beside you with a pleased sigh. You hugged a pillow and fought to catch your breath, but Sukuna, the brat he was, tugged away your life boat to replace it with himself.

You sighed, baffled and exhausted. “Sukuna–”

“What? ‘M allowed to fuck you but not–”

“You–I–we shouldn't be–I shouldn't be doing this,” you argued. “You're too young, I'm your professor. You should be looking for people your own age–”

“Not like I fucking chose this for the thrill,” he scoffed, tucking his arm under his head as he looked at your tired face. “This looks bad on me, too. Looks like I'm tryna fuck good grades out of you.”

You huffed and fixed his hoodie's tangled drawstrings. “You already get good grades. No one would believe that.”

“‘M a fucking genius. Everyone knows,” he agreed with a smirk. “But the other extras in your class? They'll act like it's somethin’ else. They'll jump on whatever the fuck they can to make their own pathetic asses feel less guilty for sucking so hard at life.”

You rolled your eyes, but couldn't help a smile. “Well, this'll look worse on me. Either you did fuck grades out of me, or I'm holding said grades hostage ‘n making you sleep with me lest they suddenly drop.”

Sukuna hummed and slid a hand to your bare waist. “Ho? I like the sound of that. Guess I'll have to try harder to make sure I stay your favourite. I could go for a 4.4."

“Please–don't roleplay that,” you begged, feeling more tired by the second. “Just promise me you'll move on and forget about this after finals. Please. It's in your best interest.”

“Yeah? ‘N what's in your best interest, Teach?” Sukuna wondered. His knuckles brushed against the curve of your cheek, and you felt your heart ache with loneliness. But you'd never admit you wanted this. You'd never admit you wanted a cure for being unlovable.

“Keeping you safe,” you said, pulling his hand from your face and squeezing it tightly, “Is in my best interest. I want you to be happy, to stay out of trouble. And this? This can only breed trouble.”

“Trouble ain't so bad.”

“Sukuna.”

“After finals, ‘m not your student anymore,” Sukuna reminded.

Your face got a little hot. “Don't twist this–”

“Twist it? Tch. It's just facts.” He looped his arms around your smaller frame and tugged you in close. “So I'm gonna keep taking my daddy issues out on you even after the semester ends.”

You had to laugh. “That's–you're a little too self-aware–”

“Pretty sure that's a good thing, no?” He yawned and tugged the blankets up over the both of you. “You're starting to piss me off with all the resistance. Just take it. Like how you take my cock.”

You sighed and sat up, pulling the blanket over the younger man more. “You have a dangerous mouth on you, y’know that?”

Sukuna smirked. “Like hearin' that from you.”

“Right. Well, I need to wash up.” You brushed his hair back against your better judgment. “You need anything?”

The look he sent you made everything ache more; it was something so warm and lazy, half-lidded eyes fighting to stay open as your tender touches lulled him to sleep. It was so strange, the apparent peace you brought to such an explosive soul. It almost made you think this could work.

“Jus’ make sure you come back,” he grumbled before letting his eyes fall closed. “Fucking kill you if you don't.”

You smiled the tiniest bit as you brushed his hair back a few more times. “Promise I will,” you whispered, earning a soft grunt of approval in return.

But as you sauntered to the bathroom, shedding whatever clothes you somehow still had on, you cried.

[palms-upturned]

Sorry for the wall of text in your inbox but your last DE post got me thinking and like. We don’t get an absolute ton of info about what Kim was like before the events of the game but it feels to me that by the start of it he’s tried to mask any and all of his actual opinions and feelings behind a veneer of indifference/objectivity. (How successful he is is up for debate) and I definitely think that at the start of the game the only reason he tolerates Harry is because he’s expected to work with him. He brushes off your self-deprecation and ignores your faults because he wants to get the case done. If you’re doing a run where you’re an asshole he’ll still begrudgingly stick by you until the very end unless he’s physically taken out of the picture because he feels like that’s his job. However if you take the time to befriend him I think it does change. He starts to open up a bit more, it becomes less of “I have your back because this case and wider cop culture obligate me to” and more “I’ll stick by your side because I want to, because I care about you.” and for both of them it can become the most genuine connection to another person they’ve felt in a long time. Like don’t get me wrong I think you’re absolutely correct that the only reason this could happen in the first place, the reason you’re given that chance at all, is because at the start Kim feels like he has to tolerate you. But I do think (or at least like to think) that if you do go the route of having Harry start trying to be a better person, the city and its community impart itself and it’s love on both of them. There’s something there about how the friendship they foster is founded on and expanded through the genuine humanity they see in Martinaise over the course of the game. That the only reason they are able to have a genuine connection (that’s not just a sense of obligation) is because Martinaise is a city that’s been all but abandoned by the police state and doesn’t adhere to the status-quo they’re familiar with. It’s true that the post-game outcome is most likely tragic. That despite this being the case, they’re never able to recognize it and never break free of being cops. But I also think it’s interesting to explore other, more hopeful routes. I think this game can be extremely pessimistic, but there’s a fragile optimism it has woven in it’s core. And I like the idea that this relationship, only started out of a sense of obligation and adherence to the status quo, is also the very thing that drags them out of it. (I apologize if this reads as word salad I have a lot of thoughts and don’t know how accurately I’ve conveyed them here)

UR GOOD SJSHDJDH when it comes to DE all I have is word salad… but yeah, I agree w all this, that’s kind of what I was getting at abt how their friendship would never happen if Harry wasn’t a cop bc Kim wouldn’t be able to turn a blind eye to some of his… antics… whereas within the force it’s customary to do so, esp for someone like Harry who’s considered a “good cop.” If he weren’t a cop, he’d be considered as much of a public nuisance as Leslie and Burke, if not even worse than them 💀 And then there’s that moment of Kim admitting to Harry genuinely that he’s considering doing speed to improve his job performance like… jdxgsjcb man. Idk. Cops. 😔

I do think it’s good to explore hopeful routes for them to change, ig for me the thought that interests me more is less whether it’s possible and more what would it take for them to get there. The fact that the player doesn’t have an option to quit being a cop does not bode well (neither does the fact that one of the endings involves recruiting Cuno… eugh) but who knows, as someone else pointed out it’s implied that there’s massive upheaval just on the horizon and they’re not gonna be able to sit on the fence anymore for long.

The thing I keep thinking about is the quote from the mural, “TRUE LOVE IS POSSIBLE ONLY IN THE NEXT WORLD — FOR NEW PEOPLE, IT’S TOO LATE FOR US.” There is no true love in a police state bc all of our interactions with each other are warped by the need to cling to what little individual power we have to survive. (I think that’s exactly what Kim, for instance, is doing by being a police officer. He openly admits to being disenchanted by moralism and that it’s pure sentimentality to think that the RCM serves the people of Revachol and not the coalition, but still chooses to “believe in the RCM” because it’s all he’s got. It gives him a sense of power and control in a world that increasingly feels doomed and pointless to live in.) And that doesn’t change no matter who’s doing the policing.

Kim’s love for Harry/the player is still warped in a way by the fact that they’re both cops, and that that’s the only reason he was able to look past your drug habits and neurotype and genuinely connect with you as a person. The fact that his takeaway from being a juvie cop for 15 years was that kids like Cuno aren’t worth trying to deal with is just… damn. Doesn’t bode well. But I think that if Kim lets his experiences w Harry and the people of Martinaise expand his worldview and start to be able to conceptualize a “new world,” he could also choose to be a “new person,” same as how you can reinvent Harry and his politics (to an extent). The question ig is whether they would be able to accept that it truly is, to an extent, too late for them, and that they’re going to have to be okay with laying the groundwork for change that they probably won’t live to see. Kim has that line that’s like “The moralintern is a fact. I try not to have opinions on facts. Unless they change. But… I don’t think they will in our lifetime.” If he wants to be able to be a new person and experience the true love he glimpsed in Martinaise, he’s gonna have to stop resigning himself to the “facts” of life. I don’t think it’s impossible, esp with what’s implied to be right on the horizon, but I do think that the fact that the game tells you that the week in Martinaise wasn’t enough by itself is just… sadly real. 20 years, 6 kills, and a dead(?) partner is a whole lot of sunken cost.

But that’s kind of what I like about DE’s particular brand of fragile optimism tbh. The fact that it openly is saying “we are destroying the world and the ending feels like it’s right on the horizon, and that we’re never going to make it to the new world in our lifetime, if we ever make it at all. But we’ve still got something to fuel our infernal engines and push us to try anyway. Even when it’s too late, it’s never really too late. The new world starts in our imaginations, and imagination starts as hope, and hope starts as love.”

[tired-college-student-writing]

Vocal Mayhem pt. 4

Summary: A magical accident during a meeting between the Iplier and Septic Egos leads to some interesting developments, some miscommunications and someone hiding a secret.

Pt. 1

Pt. 3

Pt. 4

Pt. 5

Bing leaned back in his desk chair, security plans scrolling past the screen too fast for a human eye to read, typing at an equally inhuman speed. If he could just get this last group of work….

“Yes!” His screech startled the other androids around him, forgetting for a split second that the dial-up tone had taken over his vocal module until the spell was lifted.

“Can you not scream,” Red snapped softly, own his screeching tone coming out at a more manageable volume, “I’m sure those in India would prefer to keep their hearing intact,”

Bing just grinned, “Sorry Bro, just excited.”

“Finish early for once?” Green asked, not glancing up from the medical equipment he had been fiddling with for the last hour.

“Hell yeah, Now I can go hang with Chase! Right, Blue?” He glanced at the older ego eagerly. Blue rolled his eyes turning from his screen.

“You seem to have forgotten Chase telling you he was seeing his children today and would be unable to hang out,”

Bing deflated slightly but his grin stayed firmly in place, “Oh right that was today. I totally forgot that was today. Oh well, it’s awesome he got to see Sydney and Jonathan. Guess I’ll just have to get a head start on my work for tomorrow then,”

At this all the Googles all looked up as one, eyes boring into Bing.

“What?” Oliver asked, frowning at him, “You’re not going out to hang with someone else?”

“You actually are going to willingly do work?” Red’s asked before Oliver cuffed him over the head, “Hey!”

Bing just giggled at their antics, “Nah it’s good Ollie, plus if I get some of tomorrow’s work done then I’ll have more time to hang out with him tomorrow. It’ll be fun even if I end up on camera duty,”

Blue narrowed his eyes, “What do you mean camera duty?” If his memory banks were correct, normally Bim was always on screen running around doing and doing as many idiotic things as the septic ego. The cameras were usually done a friend of Chase’s or more recently Cameraman Jim. Bing’s face fell at the question before he plastered a smaller smile on.

“Ah just that I really can’t be on camera since my voice is stuck at ear-splitting screech. Better to keep myself behind the scene so I don’t hurt anyone’s ears. I’ll probably turn off my voice module during recording completely just so I don’t ruin the video if I got excited,”

The Googles looked at him, faces blank. Finally, Oliver’s face broke into a concerned frown.

“That doesn’t sound like a good plan Bing,”

“Nah, Dude, I’ll be totally fine,”

“Common Defect present in 76.429% of Bing units- Faulty voice module that would behave fine unless tampered with, even simply be turned off manually could cause voice module to stop working completely. The only known fix is to replace the module completely,” Red recited, reports flashing by his eyes. He ignored the wince he got from Bing as he continued, “As the Bing units have been disbanded and we have no spare voice modules compatible with your system, what was your plan if you were unable to turn your’s back on?”

“I guess you guys can’t complain about me being loud and obnoxious then,” Bing’s words were light but even Blue fought to hold back a wince at those words. Oliver was on his feet, a frown cutting across his face.

“Hey now,” He started only for Bing to wave him off.

“Don’t get all up in arms Ollie,” He laughed, “I know it’s true and with our voices on the fritz I’m more useless than ever, might as well get rid of at least one problem if I can,”

Blue leaned over his desk and slapped the younger bot over the head.

“YOWCH!” He squealed, glasses falling off of his head.

“Honestly you shouldn’t say such idiotic and self-deprecating things that hold not an ounce of truth,” Blue seethed, eyebrow twitching, “While we may find you annoying at points, you are an important member of the Office. Things would not run nearly as smoothly without you present,”

Bing looked up at him, pale orange eyes wide and sparking, face blank.

“Finally using those limited emotional processors are we, Blue?” Green teased, corners of his mouth turning up as his older brother turned to glare at him.

“Hey, why wouldn’t he?” Red laughed slinging an arm around Green’s shoulders, “No one can understand us so we don’t have to worry about anyone hearing how much our emotional processors actually do.”

“Suprised it took you this long,” Oliver laughed, leaning over the armrest of his chair to nudge Blue with his elbow, earning a scowl.

“W-What?” Bing asked arms pulled tightly over his chest. Blue sighed rubbing his eyes under his glasses.

“While I would trust every one of the egos from either the Ipliers or Septics, it must be taken into account that we’re not the most stable of groups. Should there come a time that any should slip too far into insanity I don’t want any of us to be used as pawns against the others,” He explained not looking at Bing, “it’s better to appear like we merely tolerate each other than for someone to be hurt to get to us.”

Sinking back into his chair, Bing twisted his hands into his hair, hunched over voice glitching, “I thought… I thought…”

Oliver winced, leaning over and gently removing the android’s hands from his locks, “Hey now, no need for that.”

Bing blinked up at him, confusion clouding his features as a drop of coolant rolled down his cheek, “None of you hate me?”

The Googles couldn’t stop a collective flinch this time at his soft words.

“Why would we hate you?” Oliver asked sad confusion rolling off of him.

“Because I’m defective,” Bing slipped into his default tone, emotionless and flat, “I am an inferior model to your own, useless in comparison that allows my emotional processors and reckless attitude to interfere with my primary objective,”

“Where did you get this info?” Green scandalized scream got a confused look from Bing.

“From each of you,” they reeled back at the even reply, “Well I mean it was mostly from Blue and Red but all of you guys have told me stuff like that more than once since I was brought to existence,”

Eyes flashed through memories as they realize he was right, over and over again remarks on how the other bot was incompetent, was rude and loud, was… useless. It had been worse when they first came into creation. Nobody, not even Mark, thought Bing would gain enough of a following to come to life, so when he showed up there was nothing for them to go on other in the overly extrinsic attitude and the brand feud that existed no matter the universe. As time went on though, everyone found that the defective Bing bot had a lot more to offer than, just as they did with every ego that appeared within the Office’s walls.

It was months before the more serious egos started lightening up around Bing, the Googles taking even longer, but they had fallen into a normalcy of what they had thought had simply been playful banter. How many times had he thought they were serious after the venom left their words? How many times had they unintentionally hurt the other?

“We-We didn’t realize your mental health was affected so much by our words,” Green said stiffly, not looking at the other bot, “We thought you realized that after the first two months of our existence we got over our nonsensical problems with you and were merely offering ‘brotherly banter’.” Suddenly, Bing’s whole body shuttered, eyes dulling. Electricity arced over his core and head, causing spasms across his being. Green was next to him in a second, rubbing small circles on his back.

“Breathe Bing,” He soothed, even though they all knew none of the androids actually had to breathe, “In for four… Hold it for seven…. Now slowly let it out for eight….” He recited the instructions, repeating it several times. The others struggled to stay in place, letting the medical robot take control until Bing calmed down enough not to fry a circuit.

“S-Sorry,” He mumbled, pulling his legs up to his chest and hiding his face in his knees “I just…”

“Easy Bing,” Oliver soothed, “Are you okay?” Bing refused to look up at the other bots, simply shaking his head.

“What’s wrong, B?” Red asked sternly.

“Green said brotherly… There’s no way… You guys couldn’t… not with me…”

The Googles shared a look at the shaky words. Had he not known?

“We all see you as one of our brothers,” Blue said, “We thought you were-” He was cut off by a quiet sob, emitting from Bing, who seemed to be trying to compress himself even farther into a ball.

“You didn’t know, did you?” Oliver asked slowly, being answered only by a jerky shake of his head. Oliver walked slowly towards him, standing next to Green who was clutching Bing’s shoulder roughly, green eyes pained as he knelt next to the crying bot helplessly. Swiftly, he scooped up Bing, holding him tight to his chest. Bing stiffened, before he turned curling into Oliver’s chest, one hand wrapped in his yellow shirt the other reaching out to hold the sleeve of Green’s tee. Green’s face cracked into a sad smile as he placed his hand over Bing’s running his thumb over the knuckles that were slowly turning white. Red and Blue each started moving closer to the trio, taking places around the small gathering. Red slowly traced a pattern up and down Bing’s exposed arm with his fingers, humming lowly in his chest. Blue reached out slowly, running a hand through the younger bot’s hair. Softly they began whispering saying the words they always thought the other had known.

“You’re a wonderful brother.”

“I trust you with my whole being.”

“You make me want to laugh and smile more then I do.”

“Do you know how much work Blue entrusts you with?”  

“Nothing could make me care for you less,”

“You’ll always be my big brother, no matter how annoying you”  

“You brighten up my day every time I see you,”

“We love you, bro,”

Slowly Bing’s sobs subsided to small sniffles, and he pulled his face out of Oliver’s chest, gazing up at them slowly. They all smiled softly down at him, not moving their hands away from their quiet ministrations on him. His lips twitched slightly as Oliver reached up to wipe away the coolant from his face with a gentle hand.

“I never thought you guys would… actually accept me,” His voice was hoarse, and sounded so genuinely happy compared to what they were used to it hurt for the Googles to listen to, “Thank you…”

“Don’t thank us,” Blue told him face going blank, “We should not have made you feel like we would never accept you in the first place,”

“It’s okay, Bro,” Bing’s smile grows fond at the simple endearment that held so much more meaning now, “Emotions aren’t your strong suit. That’s one thing I’ll always out do you on,”

“Androids do have hearts~” A jittering laugh made them all leap back eyes wide as they stared at Anti, who leaned against the door of the room.  Jameson was glancing over his shoulder with a tilted head.

“Glitch,” Blue growled, “I wasn’t aware we could understand each other,”

“I didn’t either,” he said with a shrug, “but here I come to ask you guys a favor and I find a sap fest,”

Red stepped forward, giving a sharp smile at the pair in front of them, “Why’d don’t you to keep this to yourself, Anti?”

Anti rolled his eyes, “Geez, cut me a little slack. I may be a psycho virus, but I’m not really the manipulative type that goes after my fellow egos.”

“Plus the fact that you have your own emotional attachments to protect,” Bing giggled slightly, jumping down from Oliver’s hold. The Googles glanced back at him in confusion as Anti stiffened.

“How did you…” Anti ground his teeth, blade appearing in his clenched hand. Bing snorted giving a small shrug.

“I hang out with Chase and Marvin at the cabin,” Bing reminded the room, “It’s not hard to see that you have two little brothers you love. It’s not that big of a deal, dude,”

“You listen here you little-”

Jameson reached forward and stole the deathly sharp knife before Anti could throw it at Bing. He waggled his finger disapprovingly at the glitch, making the older ego deflate a bit. He smiled reassuringly at the androids, notebook in his hands.

I can’t follow the conversation you’re having but I hope Anti isn’t causing too much trouble.

Bing smiled, screen projecting from his core, Don’t worry Jamie. We were just talking about how we all have more emotions than we let on.

Is that all? Jameson scribbled out with a silent laugh, I’ve been telling Anti there’s no shame in caring for Robbie and me but he never listens.

It’s not like we have much room to talk about brotherly love, as I found out today.

Jameson perked up at Bing’s message, They finally accept you, Bing? That’s Fantastic!! It took you four long enough to pull your heads out of your arses!

Anti doubles over with laughter as he read the note, “You made JJ SWEAR! He never does that!”

Red rolls his eyes projecting his own message, We weren’t aware that B thought he hated him. We’ve thought of him as a brother for months now. Had we known earlier we would have put an end to his misguided beliefs.

The younger ego’s smile widely, eyes bright, I’m glad you guys figured it out now at least. It’s good for all of us to get along.

Blue sighed pinching the bridge of his nose, Yes, yes, us patching things up is wonderful, now, Why are you two here?

Jameson’s and Anti’s split into identical mischievous smiles that would have sent a shiver up the other’s spines if they weren’t robotic.

“People are ignoring JJ again,” Anti told the group, “Last time we had to get the egos to pay attention we had a small prank fest.”

“Oh yeah, I remember that,” Bing laughed, “Isn’t that when you broke into Marvin’s potion store and made everyone talk in soprano opera voices for a week?”

“No, No,” Anti said with a wave of his hand, “That was when Chase broke Robbie’s train set. We just pretended to haunt the cabin since JJ can copy some of my powers it was great for alibis,”

“That’s right!” Bing said, as his brother’s internally grimaced, two glitches, uck, “So what exactly do you think we’ll help with?”

“Bim isn’t speaking English.”

The four simple words made all the robots stiffen, almost identical looks of intrigue settling on their features.

“That doesn’t make much sense,” Oliver mused, “He’s never showed signs of being bilingual before,”

“Not to mention he said anything when the rest of us revealed we were stuck in our first language,” Green added.

Red eyes scanned through the files that were kept on each ego, “Nowhere on record does Bim’s background indicate English being his second language or even give a place of origin where one might be discerned,”

“Exactly,” Anti broke in, “He seems to want to not speak and not let anyone know what his first language is. Since we’re in a pranking mood, we thought might as well be productive and go after Bimbo, but we’d need access to the security feeds to get the drop on him. So….” He left his sentence hang, eyebrow raised at Blue.

Bing smirked, glancing at Blue, watching as he ran through all the possible outcomes of this agreement.

“I for one think it sounds like a fun idea,” He said, blinking in amazement as the screens stopped running in front of his eyes at his words, faces softening as he gazed at the younger ego. Green leaned over, wrapping an arm around Bing’s shoulders, a smirk playing on his lips.

“As the medical expert,” He said a cheeky lift to his words making Blue scowl, “After the overuse of all of our rather undersized emotional processors, I think a little tactical fun is a good recommendation,”

“It’ll be a good field test of the security system,” Red put in his own two cents, leaning on Bing’s other side.

“Alright,” Blue breathed, before turning to the septic egos, throwing up a projection so Jameson could understand the words as well, Even though I know I’ll regret teaming up with you, glitch, we’ll help both of you with your prank.

Jameson stepped forward, a bright innocent smile not matching the words he held out for them to see.

Good to hear. Now I believe it’s time for the real fun to begin.

[pepperoniwhirlwind]

~Honesty Hour~

     I was asked by @lovelynhiddenkittens to do all 150 questions in the Honesty Hour tag! 😮 Thank you, lovely and curious stranger~! 😆 But since that’s a lot for one post, I’ll break it up into chunks of 50 questions so it’s easier for all my blogging buddies to digest. 😊 Starting... now! 😝

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?      That would have to be Alex. He was warming my hand for me because it was ice cold. Though he doesn’t know that’s because I intentionally held my super cold drink for a really long time with that hand, then casually mentioned how cold my hand was so he’d try to warm it... >//> Introverts are sneaky flirts, what can I say? 😆😏

2. Are you outgoing or shy?      Shy, definitely. Though there are alters in the system much more outgoing than me.

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?      Tyler! 😄 I’ve been staying over at her apartment every weekend this past summer, and always enjoy our movie and gaming marathons. 😝

4. Are you easy to get along with?      I think so. I’m not very easily angered, a pacifist at heart, and a people-pleaser at my core. 😂 So it’s pretty hard not to get along with me.

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

     I don’t know, Alex is a sweetheart so he’d probably help, and Tyler cares but she doesn’t do bodily fluids. 😆 So, it depends. And considering I’ve never been drunk, and seem to have too high a tolerance to get drunk without having to rob a bank to fund the sheer volume of alcohol needed, I doubt this problem will ever arise. 👌

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

     Kind and funny people. 😊

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

     I have no idea, but I won’t rule it out. Alex has kinda been cute and flirty towards me lately, so maaaybe~? >//>

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

     Uh, well, the subject of the last question was Alex, so, him. 😆

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

     A wee bit, yes. 😅 I put up a good facade though, but being asexual, sex is kinda... bleeehhh~ for me. e~e

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

     That would have to be Tyler. :3 She’s my bestie from my ASL classes~ 💜 We have a looot in common, so we talk for hours at a time, in between movie and game marathons that is. 😆

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

     Context: I was spamming Tyler gifs of adorable animals earlier today.

     The Text: “Aaand now I gotta get ready for therapy, so this shall be the crowning gif of adorable goodness!”

     Followed by a gif of two golden retrievers fighting over a tennis ball, with a third retriever (being shoved into the frame by a fourth, offscreen, retriever) resting his head on the two dogs feuding over the aforementioned tennis ball. 💖

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

     This is rather hard... so I’ll just list the songs that I listen to on repeat a lot.

     1. “The Cure” by Lady Gaga

     2. “Insomnia” by IAMX

     3. “Middle of the Bed” by Lucy Rose

     4. “All the Rage” by Allie X

     5. “Wires” by The Neighbourhood

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

     Yes. No. Kinda? It depends... If I’ve just had a shower and my hair is clean, I love it. ^w^ But if it’s been a bit and my hair isn’t all that clean I just feel embarrassed if people touch my hair. e~e

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

     Ehhh... Depends which alter you ask really. Me, personally? Not so much. My family has always told me our family line is cursed to have bad luck, so if I believed in such things, I guess I’m doomed. 😂

15. What good thing happened this summer?

     I’ve started working on myself and my social life, strengthening friendships irl and online, or, at least attempting to. 😅 Sometimes I’m just bad at not isolating. But this past summer I’ve been spending basically every weekend at my friend Tyler’s apartment and hanging out with her core group of friends. It’s been a nice break from the chaos of the school semester. 😊

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

     Well, considering she’s on the other side of the country back in my home state, probably not. She was a lovely first kiss, but I’ll leave it at that. 🤭

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

     With how many planets there are in the galaxy; the universe? Not to mention how many planets within The Goldilocks Zone that share a similar atmosphere to earth within the observable universe alone... How could I not think other life exists? At the very least, in some kind of bacterial form, though, I dare to dream a little bigger. ✨

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

     Well, I’ve never really had a crush, per se, though plenty of squishes. :3 But my first squish did not turn out well, so, no. :c

19. Do you like bubble baths?

     Yes, especially if I go all out and light candles and play music on my phone. 🕯️🎶😌 However, I don’t do that very often. I take showers mostly.

20. Do you like your neighbors?

     Yeah, they’re chill people. The neighbors with the overly-territorial pitbull that kept us prisoner in our car for hours and broke into our fenced-in backyard to take massive doggie dumps out of sheer hatred for us moved away because their dog kept terrorizing the neighbourhood and was going to get put down if it didn’t stop breaking out to chase children on trikes and joggers onto rooftops. So, the neighbors we have now are awesome! 😆

21. What are your bad habits?

     Sometimes I’m too honest and don’t know when to stop talking, other times I’m so socially anxious I might as well be a feature of the wall at parties. 😂 I also have trichotillomania, a compulsive disorder related to OCD, in which I get really strong urges to pull out my hair sometimes, so definitely a bad habit... Just talking about it kinda... ehhhh... moving on. e~e

22. Where would you like to travel?

     A lot of places. Though Scotland is at the top of my list. Scotland is a huge part of my family’s heritage, and some of my family still lives there. So I would love to visit and spend some time in nature there~  💕

23. Do you have trust issues?

     Yes.

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

     Well, anytime I get to de-stress is nice. I know wiping down my face with a face wipe always feels nice and refreshing after a day out running errands and attending classes. It’s the little things that are the most help~ 😊

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

     All of it. If I could edit my body, that would be nice.

26. What do you do when you wake up?

     Hit snooze on the alarm a couple times, get up, walk to the bathroom... you can imagine the rest.

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

     Nope, I’m quite happy with my vampire pale skin, and even my dirty blonde, curly lion’s mane of hair, and my blue eyes ain’t so bad either. I’m not completely hideous, just 97% hideous. 👌😂

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

     Myself. My alters. Tyler. Alex. My Tumblr fam~ 💞

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

     No, because I usually cut them out of my life after they break my heart. Some have tried to stay friends with me or become friends with me again years later, but... no. I don’t need backstabbers in my life.

30. Do you ever want to get married?

     Maybe, someday. When the time is right, I’ll know, until then, I’ll enjoy my singledom~ :3

31. Is your hair long enough for a ponytail?

     Yes, it’s in a ponytail right now actually. 😆

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

     NONE.

33. Spell your name with your chin.

     gtlo nhy (Oh gawd... What a name. 😂)

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

     Mi-Suk used to play on tennis and basketball teams, but our spine is a little too deteriorated nowadays to attempt such things.

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

     Without TV, hands down. I’d die without music. I bleed music.

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

     Yep. I had a bit of a squish on this kid named Travis in elementary school and never told him. My frenemy told him I had a crush on him, and he never talked to me after that. 😭

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

     I either make a joke or just enjoy the silence. Depends what mood I’m in. Sometimes I’m more introverted and just want to sit in silence or listen to music instead of talk. Other times I just wanna connect with people and I tend to crack a lot of darker, self-deprecating jokes as a way to break the ice, or tension if I feel some.

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

     I want someone who is genuinely kind, patient, and funny. It also helps if they are neurodivergent like me, and have similar enough interests, sense of humor, etc. to my own. c: Overall, I just want to feel comfortable and safe with someone. 😊

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

     I buy food at Fry’s... so... Fry’s?

40. What do you want to do after high school?

     I’m already out of high school, bub. Now I’m in college, and I still have no idea. I have dream jobs, dream homes, dream lives. But none of them seem realistic.

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

     Depends on the crime, really. If I hired someone to babysit my hypothetical children, and they forgot to tell the children to clean up their toys, I believe a second chance is in order. If they, however, ditched the job to mack on Paul Puffy Lips next door, leaving my children to starve, I don’t believe I’ll be giving them another call.

42. If you’re being extremely quiet what does it mean?

     It means I’m probably really socially anxious at the moment and would prefer to not be made the center of attention. o~o’

43. Do you smile at strangers?

     Yes, sometimes to spread cheer and joy, other times because I’m worried they’ll think I’m an up-to-no-good deviant or zombified by depression, which is how I feel at least 80% of the time, and worry everyone notices, even strangers, who probably would not assume such things, but that’s social anxiety for you. 😂

44. A trip to outer space or the bottom of the ocean?

     Why not both? However, humans are so preoccupied with space that we’ve only explored 5% of our oceans. I don’t want the oceans to feel lonely, so I’ll visit them first. 💙

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

     Sometimes the looming responsibilities in my life, other times I just don’t get out of bed. 

46. What are you paranoid about?

     A lot of things, but the most pressing concern of mine is that everyone will inevitably leave me because I’m a terrible, horrible human being who doesn’t deserve friendship. 😅

47. Have you ever been high?

     Every day, if I can help it. I have a medical marijuana card and have for a couple years now.

48. Have you ever been drunk?

     No.

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

     No, not really. Nothing is coming to mind. 

50. What was the color of the last hoodie you wore?

     Well, I’m wearing a hoodie now, and it’s gray, with the Nirvana emblem on the front. 😝 It’s my favorite and coziest hoodie of all.

[cryptidvoidz]

Keep Them Safe (CH2)

Once again, this is my version of @whatwashernameagain‘s fic, which features my characters!

Her fic is a Sanders Sides Detective AU! Find it here: Keep Him Safe

Warnings for this chapter: A little phsycial violence (just a smidge), self-deprecating thoughts, and a small suicide thought.

Chapter One

Chapter Three

Chapter Two (AO3 Link)

"WHAT?! You can't do this to me!" The man tried to stop the other, only to be shoved to the ground. He whimpered, nursing his bruised wrist gently. "Please don't leave me..."

The other man turned, a look of absolute disgust on his face. "You're pathetic, you know that? I can't believe I wasted two years on you..." He pulled off the silver band that was wrapped around his finger, tossing it at the sobbing mess. Without another word, he picked up his suitcase and left, slamming the door behind him.

Redmond continued to sob on the floor. What had he done wrong? He did everything he could to make his fiance ex-fiance happy. He came whenever he was called, did whatever he was told. But he still wasn't happy... Eventually, the ginger haired male stood, trembling. He had work soon and had to cover up the bruises, though he didn't know how bad they were yet.

That was two days ago. Redmond stood outside of his apartment building, staring dumbfounded at the owner. He had been kicked out for not paying rent? But that's ridiculous! He just gave the money to his ex last week to pay rent and-

Oh... His anger rose a little at the realization he had been stolen from, but at least he had his coffee shop. He could work there and sleep in the back.

He couldn't believe it. His luck was so rotten that he just lost his business too? What had he done to the universe to deserve this? That man stared numbly at the check in his hands while he waited in line at the bank. It seemed that all he was worth was $1, 473. He deposited it and headed outside. For the first time that day he felt tears welling up and spilling over, as if floodgates had been opened.

Ragged breaths shook him to his core, but he managed to keep walking. He just had to find a bus stop. He could do this...

A light tap shook him out of his thoughts, face covered in fresh tears. He found himself looking at a large man, at least a foot taller than him. The man had black hair that had been shaved on the sides, tan skin, and intense amber eyes looking at him in worry. Redmond wrapped his arms around himself, embarrassed. "S-sorry, I didn't mean to get in your way," he muttered quietly.

The stranger smiled, concerned etched across his features. "Are you okay, sir? You nearly walked into traffic." The man's statement made his head shoot up, and sure enough, he had been about to walk out into the road. I wish he hadn't stopped me, Red thought wistfully. A shake made him remember the man. "Sir? Are you okay?"

No. "Of course, just a bit tired!" The smile was forced, and the stranger immediately frowned. "What happened?"

Damn. He was very observant. He sighed heavily. "MyfiancebrokeupwithmeandwenttoEuropeandstolemoneysoIgotkickedoutofmyarpartmentandnowI'mhomelesswithnoincome." The words came out on their own, tumbling over each other and mashing together. A sob broke out, threatening to make his knees give out.

So weak. So so weak... Pathetic. Useless. Just kill yourse-

Suddenly, he was falling. Or, at least, he thought he was. All he knew is that he felt dizzy and was no longer standing. He didn't know where he was. What was going on? His mind was reeling so much that he was only vaguely aware of being put into a car. The piling stress was too much, and he slowly passed out.

He woke up to muffled voices, and then a squeal. Opening his eyes revealed a man looming over him, grinning wide. He had circular glasses that seemed to take up half of his face, and- GOOD GOD HIS HAIR! Redmond sat up in shock, taking in the man's wild mess of midnight blue hair. "W-who are you?" he squeaked, slapping his hand over his mouth right after. How mortifying...

The man chuckled. "My name is Detective Knowles, and that over there is my husband, Nicholas." The detective jabbed a finger behind him to reveal the same stranger from earlier. Red opened his mouth to reply but Knowles charged forward. "My first name is Dexter though, so don't worry about being formal! You're not in trouble. But you are terrifyingly malnourished. When was the last time you ate? What's your name? Is there anyone we need to contact for you?" The questions continued, with no time to be answered, before he had a plate shoved in his hands by the overly excited detective. "We made you food but you didn't wake up for awhile so it's a bit cold!"

"H-hold on... Why are you being so nice to me?" It was shocking to be fussed over by two strangers, although he didn't really mind.

It was Nicholas who spoke next. His voice was deeper than his husband's, but carried just as much concern. "Well, for one, almost walked into traffic, passed out from dehydration, and besides, Dex here is a sucker for helping people out. I wasn't able to argue with him. But we had an extra room that he-" he cleared his throat after receiving a glare from Dexter, "we wouldn't mind you using," he finished. While he had been explaining, Redmond finally got a good look at the two. Nicholas looked like he was over six feet, and muscle to go with it, but not too much to make him look frightening. Dexter seemed shorter than his partner. He could be described as a teddy bear. He was a little thick, but no doubt had muscle hidden underneath the pudgy looking exterior.

One thing was clear, however. Detective Knowles was the wife.

A chuckle slipped out at the conclusion, which caused the detective to grin. "What do you say? Would you want to stay here? I know I'm rather intimidating but that shouldn't influence your decision! I promise I'm almost as harmless as a worm."

Deciding to humor the man, the ginger nodded seriously. "You are incredibly intimidating, but I suppose I won't let that influence my choice." Behind his husband, Nicholas snickered. "Alright, I've made up my mind. I'll stay here." Internally, he was grateful, but he couldn't help but wonder what cruel fate was waiting for him. Terrible luck, then all of a sudden, two strangers offer him a place to stay? He wouldn't get comfortable. He had to be ready for when disaster struck this time...

The first thing Oliver Frey did when he walked into the office was smack his fist lightly on Roman Prince's head. His morning wasn't going smoothly, and he had been carried- CARRIED!- to work by his partner. And then Dexter's husband called him for an emergency, so now Oliver wasn't in the greatest mood, considering Dexter was his translator for those who didn't know sign language.

"OW! What was that for, Red Alert?" the detective dramatically cried out, earning himself another smack on the top of his head. Roman's partner, Logan Sanders looked up slowly, appearing slightly annoyed at the interruption, but with a twinkle of amusement in his eyes.

Roman looked  pleadingly at Logan, and the other sighed, glancing at the angry man in front of them. "What did he do this time, Pip?"

Angry gestures flew, Oliver's glasses sliding down his nose slightly. "This idiot is poisoning the minds of my partner and my son! I mean, I don't mind Danny that much, but I was just carried to work over Dexter's shoulder so I wouldn't hurt my pretty little feet! Blasphemy, I tell you!"

"Well, I'm afraid my idiot partner was just being himself, so it's their fault for acting like him." Logan's tone was light. The redhead wasn't sure if he had a soft spot for Oliver as well, or if he was just making fun of Roman, but all he managed was a huff and a scowl at very fanciful detective.

Turning heel, he said, "Well he's a royal pain in my ass," which caused Logan to smirk. The mute detective found satisfaction in the fact, however, that Logan refused to tell his partner what he had said.

He sighed, opening his box of blueberry pancakes and digging in, smacking his lips every once and awhile. Rose made the best pancakes. Rose...

It was Oliver's fault she started to go by her middle name. When his wife had died, he couldn't even hear her name without freezing and going into a panic attack. And sadly, his sister's name sounded just like her name. He didn't mind talking about his wife nowadays, but everyone avoided the topic like it was the plague, so they didn't realize he could handle it now. Danny was the only he could talk to about her. His seven year old son was a lot more intelligent than people thought. He even looked after his own father to make sure he's living right. Even after Oliver had come out of his depression bubble, Danny continued.

He opened his phone. On screen was a picture of his wife and their year old son, a couple months before her passing. The quiet man smiled. He missed her, sure, but he had moved on. He knew she'd be mad at him for taking this long, but her death had crushed him.

A text popped up on his screen.

Dexter: Ur on ur own today. New rmmate.

Oliver: For the love of Zeus, please use proper English.

Dexter: Nahhhhhh. Luv u. B safe.

Oliver sighed, standing up and stretching. There had been a series of break-ins on the other side of town, and the two of them had been looking into it. They had found a lead, one of which would have to be followed up on by the detective who couldn't speak.

He hoped he wouldn't have to talk to anyone today.

[i-write-shakespeare-not-disney]

Warm Me Up pt 26

Click Here for Ch. 1

Click Here for Ch. 25

I figured since I got 100 notes on the last chapter it was fine to upload a new one :3 Please give feedback guys, I want your thoughts on this too <3

It was a bad day again. Nico had been waiting for it. While being with Will kept his spirits up, he felt complacent and uncertain when he was alone. He had been waiting for that rise or fall of emotions and now it was there.

This time it seemed to mock him though. While he just wanted to appreciate having Will back in his life and spending time with him, whether for a few moments while getting coffee or for a few hours as they walked around the campus and talked, his mind immediately darkened it all. Instead of the joy, the murkier, painful thoughts began to rise.

He thought back to those first months, when every night had been filled with Will’s warmth or kisses shared under covers and in the confines of his car or the times when Nico felt like he was falling apart and Will had held him together. He thought of all of those moments and felt reminded of the fact that he was so screwed up he couldn’t hold on to it. He had messed up and now they weren’t there anymore. Now they had to start over and it was all his fault.

Instead of looking back on those moments with fondness, he was looking back on them with bitterness. Why weren’t they happening anymore? Why did he have to be so fucked up that he hurt the one person he ever truly trusted and loved? And how long would he have to fight?

Not only that, but if those frustrating, self deprecating thoughts were running through his head again, who was to say Will wasn’t right and he’d just go and do it again when he was given a chance? What if he was unfixable?

The thoughts, the questions, the frustration all stirred in his brain until he felt he was going to explode. He left the dorm, cigarettes and journal in hand, and raced to the seating area in front of the café. The smell of smoke was strong despite the late hour, and the soft light that had been added gave Nico enough to pour over his lyrics. He lit a cigarette and tried to either muffle his thoughts with song or at least pour them all out onto paper.

His writing was messy, frantic even. He just wanted the thoughts gone. In the back of his head, he knew the gas station was across the street. He knew he wouldn’t be asked for an ID. He knew there was an easy way to shut the voices up, a simple way to just stop thinking.

He was rooted to the chair, debating with himself. Did he want to backtrack so quickly? No. But he wanted the rush of thoughts to stop and he wanted to stop tearing himself down when he was already trying so hard to fix himself. He flinched as the ash from his cigarette fell against his arm, scorching the skin.

“Shit,” he muttered.

“Nico?” He looked up and felt his cheeks warm almost immediately. “You okay? You look stressed.” Just like that, the frustrated rush of thoughts stopped. All he could think of now were those pretty blue eyes and the splatter of cinnamon colored freckles and the gentle reflection of light at the ends of his golden hair.

“I’m okay,” he said in a voice very much not okay. He cleared his throat and frowned. “I’m okay,” he repeated with a more convincing voice. He put out his cigarette and stood. “Sorry. I know you don’t like the smell.”

Will smiled and shook his head. “It’s okay. I was heading over to the library actually. I have a project I need to do.”

“Oh,” he said with a tinge of disappointment. “Well, have fun,” he offered feebly.

Will furrowed his eyebrows and set his stuff down on the table. “What’s wrong?” Nico tried to say nothing, but the word caught in his throat. Instead, he shrugged and shook his head. “Nico, remember friends help each other. Can you let me help you?”

“You’re always helping me. That’s what got us into this mess in the first place,” he muttered. Will’s eyes widened and Nico’s lips parted as he tried to figure out a way to take it back. “Uh, no, I mean…. I didn’t mean it like…. He pressed his hands to the sides of his head and squeezed his eyes shut. “Shit I’m doing it again.”

“Nico?”

“I have to go. I should go. I’ll be okay. I’m sorry.” He turned away and started running for his room.

The expression on his face worried Will and part of him wanted to run after Nico. But he also knew him well enough to know Nico wouldn’t tell Will what was happening. So instead he sent him a message.

Let me know if you need anything. I’ll check on you if you don’t get back to me.

Before turning away, he saw that Nico had left his journal on the table. He took it and placed it carefully with his own books. He started to walk back to the library, but then he heard his name get called out. When he turned he saw Leo with Piper and Jason, leaving the café. He broke away from them and walked over to Will with an expression that was oddly serious. “Hey. What’s up?” he asked Will.

“Uh, not much. I’m going to the library to do a project. I ran into Nico just now, and he seemed upset.”

“Speaking of Nico,” he said, immediately latching onto that. Will groaned internally, but only raised an eyebrow. “What’s… what’s going on there? He said something about you guys being friends now.”

“Yeah, we are,” he said with a smile.

“Okay. But… I mean…. Are you guys supposed to get back together? Is there like an allotted time or a build up or-?”

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business,” he answered, feeling uncomfortable with the amount of questions. He could barely keep track of what was happening between Nico and himself, there was no way he would be able to answer the questions Leo was throwing at him.

Leo frowned and began cracking his knuckles absentmindedly. “I’m just trying to…. Okay look, to Nico, this his second shot at dating you. A redo. I’m just asking if that’s how you see it too, or if you plan on seeing other people…?”

It felt like a bucket of ice water had been doused over his head, soaking him completely and chilling him to his core. The blood drained from his face as he stared at Leo warily. “Um…. Well, I mean I hang out with Nico a lot. It’s not as often, but I mean I guess the option is there…. It just really I guess sort of depends on how this all goes, you know? There’s a lot that happened and a lot to sort of w-”

“Will, I saw you at the theater with some guy and it wasn’t Nico and there was kissing and I don’t know what to do with this information!” Will’s eyes widened and his cheeks flared while his mind raced with profanities. Leo seemed to deflate and he ran his hand through his curls. “Look man, Nico is my friend. We’re not super tight, but he is my friend, and I really-”

“Leo stop,” he begged. He glanced over his shoulder where Jason and Piper were looking over at them curiously. Then he pulled Leo aside and rubbed his face. “Leo, please don’t say anything about that. Like ever. I didn’t tell anyone that was even happening. That wasn’t going anywhere.” He sighed and sat down on a bench. “Leo, I really, really care about Nico. I… I don’t know how it happened, but I did fall for him, and I fell hard.” He looked at Leo helplessly. “Please, Nico can’t find out about that. At least not yet. Not when things are finally getting better between the two of us. That guy just kept bugging me about a date so I went to get him to stop, I wasn’t expecting a kiss and I… I didn’t like it.”

“Bad kisser?” he asked sympathetically.

Will stared at him and shook his head. “Oh God,” he muttered. “No. I mean, I don’t know. It’s just…. I couldn’t stop thinking about Nico. Leo, I don’t know where this is going any more than you do, but I would like to find out. So please, can you just keep it quiet?”

Leo sighed and kicked at the ground. “Okay. Yeah, I can do that. I’m sorry if I… cornered you or something.” Will waved the comment away and took a relieved breath. “I’ll let you study. And… I’m rooting for you guys. If that means anything. I think we all are. We never saw Nico as happy as the way he was when he was with you.”

“Thanks,” he said softly. Leo walked away and Will continued to the library, hoping to forget the awkwardness of the entire encounter.

When he arrived, he found a table on the second floor, hidden behind bookcases where few people ventured. He sat there and pulled out Nico’s journal. He didn’t want to read through it. He knew every lyric was personal to him. Even when they were dating Nico hadn’t let him see the songs.

But there was one song he wanted to see. He hadn’t heard it in a long time; he at least wanted to read it. He was careful to keep his eyes on the titles, his curiosity peaking when he saw more intriguing ones. But he waited until he got to that familiar song and smiled to himself as he looked at the scribbled words.

For a few moments, he was back in the café with Nico singing in front of him, smiling at him, looking at him like he was the most important person in the world. The memories made his heart warm and he couldn’t keep the smile off his face. He missed Nico.

Ignoring the project that was looming over him, he put the journal back with his books and left the library. He went to Nico’s dorm and knocked on the door of his room. There was no answer. He knocked again and waited but there was still no answer.

Before he could knock again, the door across from Nico’s opened. “Are you knocking on my door?” a girl asked.

“Oh, no. Sorry. I’m knocking on this one….”

She frowned and pointed at the door. “You’re looking for the shaggy haired dude? He’s not in there. When I came up to my room, I saw him leaving, taking the stairs like two at a time.”

“Oh, okay. Thank you,” he said. The girl nodded and went back into her room. He turned away and went out to the parking lot. Nico’s motorcycle was missing.

Knowing the way Nico could act when he was upset, Will felt more than a little worried. Nico had said time and time again that it was no longer Will’s job to worry, but Will couldn’t help it any more than he could help how in love with Nico he was.

He got in his car and drove over to the dirt road Nico seemed to love so much. He parked and walked slowly toward the clearing where he saw Nico walking back and forth… with a clear bottle in one hand.

The thoughts wouldn’t stop. They were overlapping, screaming, jumbling together, one angry thought after the other. The weight of the vodka bottle was the only thing anchoring him to where he was.

He hadn’t opened it. Hell he could barely bring himself to look at it.

Part of him wanted to drink it just to slow the thoughts racing through his mind. He wanted to prove to himself how pointless his attempt at getting better was. He wanted to prove to himself how pathetic and useless he was, and how much better Will was without him because he was such a mess of a person.

But the other part wouldn’t let him. He didn’t want to backtrack. He didn’t want to be right. He wanted to get better and he wanted to be better for Will. He wanted to stop doing all of the things that reminded him how much he could hate himself.

He’d bought the stupid thing, but he hadn’t opened it. He kept going back and forth, testing his own strength, seeing how far he could stretch himself before he succumbed.

“Nico?” He froze and looked up, seeing Will, looking crestfallen as he walked nearer. “What are you doing?”

Nico couldn’t talk. He didn’t trust himself. He felt that if he opened his mouth, he would start screaming. Instead, he kept his eyes on Will.

“Nico, give me the bottle.” He didn’t move. He just stood there, trying to breathe, trying to stop thinking, trying not to scream. “Nico,” he said softly, reaching forward. Nico didn’t move. He felt the warmth of Will’s hand slide around his own, prying the bottle from his palm.

It felt like strings had been cut. His shoulders slumped and he ducked his head in shame.

“You didn’t open it,” he said with heavy relief. Nico glanced up and furrowed his eyebrows. He placed the bottle by a tree and tugged Nico by his arm to another where he had him sit. Without saying a word, he sat down beside him.

Will’s warmth beside him was calming. Knowing that he knew him well enough to find him, knowing that he cared enough to sit beside him without even knowing what was wrong exactly made Nico’s heart swell. It made him love him even more.

He wanted to rest his head against Will’s shoulder. He wanted the warmth of Will’s freckled hand in his own. He wanted to climb into his lap and have Will wrap his arms around him. He wanted to lean his head in the crook of his neck, rest his hand over his chest until Will’s steady heartbeat steadied his own. He wanted to kiss him until every other thought was gone and all he could think of was the taste of his lips.

But he couldn’t do that anymore.

Instead, he tried to allow himself to be comforted by the pressure of Will’s shoulders against his, by the soft sounds of his breaths.

For a while, they just sat there in silence. Slowly, Nico’s mind quieted. The rush was over. Now he felt ridiculous. For buying the vodka, for pacing, for panicking, for having Will come all the way out here. He leaned forward and put his head in his hands.

“Do you want to go get some coffee? Starbucks, not the rip off crap from campus,” Will said, breaking the silence. Nico glanced over at him and Will tilted his head. “As friends.”

Still not trusting his voice, he nodded slowly and stood as Will did. He hesitated by his motorcycle and scratched his head. “You should take that back to campus. I’ll follow and then we can carpool,” he offered.

Nico nodded and climbed onto his bike, starting the engine. Will grabbed the bottle and nodded at Nico as he went back to his car.

A few minutes later, after Nico pulled into the parking lot and parked his motorcycle, Will’s car pulled up. Nico slid into the passenger seat without talking, vaguely wondering what Will did with the vodka. Soft classic love ballads played while Will drove.

Nico took a breath as Will parked and looked over at him as he turned off the engine. “Thank you,” he said.

“He speaks,” Will said with a smile. Then the smile melted away. “Why’d you buy the bottle?”

He shrugged and frowned at the dashboard. “I was debating whether or not it was worth it. I don’t know what I would’ve ended up deciding if you hadn’t arrived.” He took a breath and looked at shook his head. “It’s just one of those bad days.”

Will nodded and reached for the backseat, fumbling for a while before he sat back. Then he handed Nico a journal and he realized it was his song book. “You left this when you left earlier. I didn’t read anything in it.”

“Really?” he asked.

His face colored slightly and he cleared his throat. “Well, I mean, I just… I read one.” Nico looked at him, but he was looking away. “The song from the café. The… one you wrote for me.”

“Oh,” he said. “That’s okay,” he assured. “Thank you for keeping it safe for me.” Will nodded and began chewing on his thumb. Nico pulled his hand away by his wrist and scoffed. “You don’t have to get nervous,” he murmured.

Bright blue eyes settled on him, causing his breath to hitch. “I’m not,” he answered softly. “It’s just… memories.”

Nico furrowed his eyebrows and slid his fingers from Will’s wrist to his knuckles. “I know. Me too.” Will’s eyes flitted to their hands and he blinked rapidly as he pulled his hand away. “Will…”

“No, it’s okay.” He looked at Nico and smiled. “Really. It’s alright. Let’s not get into this right now. Come on, I’ll pay.” Will took another look at Nico before getting out of the car. It took Nico a second to process, but he eventually got out of the car as well, figuring it best to drop it and not have the same conversation again.

It was awkward for a few moments as they walked. When they got inside and ordered, Will sat across from him at a small table and interlocked his hands. “Have you been able to catch up with school?”

Nico stared at him and smiled as he looked down at the table.

As if by magic, the pain and stress of the day melted away and he was okay. He talked leisurely with Will about unimportant things, marveled at his ability to keep Nico from sinking into the depths of his mind, and felt his affection increase more with each passing moment.

Somehow it felt more real. Without being able to simply lean forward and kiss him as he pleased, every moment mattered. Every moment was cherished.

There was so much to work on. Nico had to work on himself. Will had to be able to trust Nico with his feelings. They had to learn to be with each other again. And it would take time. Nico didn’t know how much time, but if it meant he’d have Will in his arms again one day, he didn’t care. He would try.

Slowly but surely, Will saw the change in Nico’s eyes. The pained, guarded expression slowly melted into those warm brown eyes he loved so much, brighter as he smiled and began speaking with his hands. A million butterflies erupted in his stomach each time Nico smiled or laughed. He had a habit of pushing his tongue behind his teeth and Will found it endearing. He also kept his hand busy by folding the straw paper over and over then unfolding it.

After another hour of talking, the two of them returned to the car and drove back to campus. Will parked in the main garage since the lot near his dorm was full. Together, they walked along the sidewalk, hands in their pockets.

Before having to split ways, Nico turned to Will and smiled. “Thank you. It’s not up to you to be sure I’m okay. But I’m thankful you still do.”

Will shook his head and smiled. “You do realize how much I care about you, right? It doesn’t matter if it’s not my responsibility.” Nico took a deep breath and slight blush filled his cheeks, much to Will’s delight. “I’ll see you later, okay?”

“Yeah. And… I’m sorry I bought that… vodka…. I promise I’m trying-”

“Nico, relax,” Will said, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Things don’t change from one day to the next. You didn’t drink. That was a step. Stop being so hard on yourself.” Nico nodded and hesitated. “What?”

“I just….” He bit his lip and ran his hand through his hair. “Would a hug be okay?” he asked softly.

Will raised his eyebrows and smiled as his cheeks warmed. Without another word, he wrapped his arms around Nico and Nico’s came up, his hands resting on his shoulders. Nico’s head leaned into the crook of his neck, facing away. He felt familiar. Will didn’t want to let go.

He held him tightly, feeling as Nico took a deep breath. He began to pull away and Will allowed his arms to loosen and fall back to his sides. “I’ll see you later,” he whispered. He turned away and began to walk while Will simply stared after him.

Click Here for Ch. 27

[ellescharacters]

ALMA /   60s  / open occupation open fc difficulty to fit in a wanted ad: mid

former war correspondent

got shot at in her mid 30s. got pulled out from the field and became a regular reporter - was pissed af about it

would make you look like a fool on tv in front of millions of people. also sit outside your office every day for as long as it takes for you to talk to her/answer her questions

in her early 30s she met a war doctor while abroad and the two had a kid they gave up for adoption 

met her husband in her mid/late 30s. got married. had kids.

idk what happened to the husband yet but.....

she was EXCITED AF to be living alone and have all of her children out of the house. she was ready to enter her silver years ya know? she spent her whole life dedicating herself either to her job or her kids and she never had a chance to kind of stop and say “who is alma?”. so she was ready to re-discover herself. maybe start taking painting lessons. travel... go on a cruise! why not! and then for w/e reason her grandkids (early 20s) had to move in with her and fuck!!!!!!!!! she loves them so much but fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

honestly will only bring her to the site if ppl will play her grandkids 

open /  late 50s or early 60s  / scientist  jeff goldblum  difficulty to fit in a wanted ad:  mid

parents had a lot of money. parents lost all of their money.  

he’s chill and hardworking af and actually doesn’t mind taking a step back and hearing other people’s ideas etc etc.... but people can be so incompetent oh my gdo!!!!!!!! it drives him up the wall

he’s probably a computer scientist / programmer 

twice or trice divorced

kind.......... of a neglectful dad tbh 

honestly will likely only bring him if i can have a couple pre-establish connections like his kids, friends, enemies, etc

VENETIA / 30s

PERSONALITY TRAITS: Venetia hates the idea of being average/ordinary, and has always she come off as this interesting girl who has a bunch of life experience (and she does, in a way) but in the end, she really is just /a girl/. her whole life is pretty much her showing the world how she wants to be perceived even though she’s a total lie herself. she tells at least 5 lies every day to make herself seem more interesting. 

POSSIBLE OCCUPATION: designer, waitress, bartender, gossip reporter, actress, burlesque dancer, flight attendant, model

Wendy / late 20s or 30s

PERSONALITY TRAITS: wendy was raised by hippie parents which... my god, she doesn't hate them but she also can't stand to be around them. wendy is: hardworking, sociable, guarded, liar, lonely, romantic, deep down a good person she’s just so stuck and wants more out of her life

POSSIBLE OCCUPATION: secretary, hotel maid, gossip journalist 

Genevieve (martha’s sister?)/ late 20s or early 30s / 

PERSONALITY TRAITS: a+ friend, romantic, outgoing, optimist, determined, dedicated, a little obsessive especially when it comes to romantic relationships. seriously wants a relationship she’s 100% in love with the idea of love and being with someone forever and she’s not ashamed of this at all. 

POSSIBLE OCCUPATION: editorialist, pediatric surgeon, art restorer, curator, pharmacist, radio personality, engineer, baker, restaurant owner

JOSIE /  early/mid 20s  / probs waitress or cashier probably  freya mavor idk difficulty to fit in a wanted ad:   low-mid

sociable, romantic, adventurous, impulsive, privileged, naive, kind, fun, brave, self-centred.

rich kid who threw a fit and walked out and has been living as a “”poor”” person for at least 7 months now. she started dating a boy she met at work and moved in with him and they are v happy in their shitty little apartment............ and he doesn’t know she’s rich but when he finds out he’s going to feel extremely played and like the whole thing is just a game to her. it’ll be angsty. they’ll break up but ~love will win~...... but it’ll be hard.

she’s not a bad person she’s just very privileged and so... clueless and naive about how the world actually works? also young, which... just adds more fuel to the fire lmao

*MALENA / 28-36 / bartender probably kate mara or krysten ritter  difficulty to fit in a wanted ad:  mid 

walking shit-show and i love her for it... a lot dont tho and i don’t blame them

has gone grocery shopping wearing her pjs under some oversized coat at some point. drunk girl in the bathroom who compliments you and tries to (poorly) braid your hair. queen of unprompted defensiveness. vice-president of the casual self-deprecating jokes club. uncertified sucker for the underdog. board games & bar games afectionado. spends way too much time on the "diy" section of youtube. wine AND vodka aunt. creative curser. not an excellent cook but makes the best burgers you'll taste in your life - also pancakes, in under 8 minutes. walking library of quick/lazy meals. low-key vague personification of "I can't wait for my friends to start getting married bc the idea of getting trashed on champagne, hitting on everyone and making speeches while two people I love commit to a life of monogamy is a strong one". has -0 idea of what she's doing and no idea how she feels about it.  

has like 4 half-siblings and 2 step-siblings and doesn’t get along with any of them bc that’s malena 4 you.

(one of her step-siblings is actually her half-sister NOT her step-sister bc malena’s dad and her step/half-sister’s mom were banging each other while they were still married. she doesn’t know this yet but regardless it’s fine everything is FINE)

( listen... malena’s relationship with her step/half-sister is actually deeply tragic to me and i adore both of them dearly - the  step/half-sister has known the truth for a couple years now but kept it to herself because she’s that kind of person - she’s good to the core and she’s been carrying this secret all by herself. she’s been trying very hard to have a relationship with malena ... sadly malena isn’t being very helpful. )

malena worked as an assistant to a wedding planner for two years. didn’t hate it. nobody believes it and she doesn’t particularly care.

genuinely good, kind, and nonjudgmental people are people malena low-key admires and looks up to. if one of them becomes her friend, she’ll literally fight for them if it comes down to it. honestly malena’s self-preservation is very very high so when she does let someone in she’s 1000% ride or die for them. 

people have the tendency to just.... open up to her / talk to her and she doesn’t know why!!!!!!!!!!!! she doesn’t even ask them anything she’s not even nice !!!!!!!!!!!! stop this nonsense!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! bc then she starts low-key getting invested

she always feels the need to defend/prove herself. basically, she never learned how to express herself in a healthy/normal way. she misjudges people's intentions and words more often than she should, but she's always so worried about protecting herself that she can't help it. also she has pretty impulsive knee-jerk reactions when it comes to any kind of abuse/bullying.

malena isn't a commitment-phobe; she's a repressed hopeless romantic in denial and she's been that way all her life but she only started truly realising it a couple of years back. she low-key wants to be showered in love and be able to love someone like that in return, but she's cultivated an image of herself that's incompatible with this. she has always worn her individualism as a kind of weapon and she’s conditioned to associate backtracking with weakness, so, yeah, she's been struggling with living for herself as opposed to the image people have of her.

i'm sure she's still on good terms/friends with some of the people she's gotten involved with in the past because she really isn't a petty person in this regard. (pseudo-)exs on good terms, (pseudo-)exs on bad terms, messy relationships, flings, something else entirely... i'm open to all things. 

literally every relationship or pseudo relationship she’s been in has been a shit show. often comical. still a shit show.  (like that time she dated a guy who was in a long distance relationship and he literally forgot he had a gf. or that time she got involved with some sort of bruce wayne wannabe. or that time she dated a violinist - violinists have.. issues stay tf away from them. or that time she dated an indie movie director who was an absolute mess of a person. fun fucking times!!!!!!)

started sleeping with her boss and may or may not have feelings for him.......... and he just found out he has a kid from an ex ....... a 13 year old kid..........please kill her

*EVELYN /  late 30S or 40S  / actress probably amy adams or rose byrne if she’s not taken difficulty to fit in a wanted ad: mid-high

was adopted around age 10 by some rich couple who really only adopted so they could get extra brownie points within their circle of friends…… but they didn’t want to adopt a baby because that’s just too much work ya know? this doesn’t mean that evelyn wasn’t loved because she was - she is - and honestly her parents never demanded any more or less of her than they did of their other biological children. her brother(s) often joke that she’s actually the favourite child because she never had a rebellious phase and she’s always been extremely appreciative of her parents.

(she has a sister who is 5 years younger - they were put up in dif foster homes and... it’s complicated. evelyn could have fought for being closer to her sister but didn’t, primarily because she was told her sister had a better chance of getting adopted - especially if she was lone. they haven’t seen each other in over two decades if my math is correct)

took like, a bunch of extracurricular yet somehow never fucking learnt how to swim

very polite and politically correct, one of those people with perfect posture. pleasant to be around but doesn’t socialise or share a lot about herself and her life which can really make her seem either fake and/or stuck-up and/or too serious -  actually just very shy by nature.

she’s often misunderstood by people who don’t know her well, or by journalists who don’t actually take the time to sit down and talk to her.

some people probably think she bought her career but 1) her parents are rich, snobbish, and pretentious but they literally couldn’t care less about the entertainment industry tbh & 2) they’d never buy their children a career bc they believe that if you want something you work hard to get it  

her career is a mixture of amy adam’s and jessica chastain’s.

the parts she picks are all very carefully chosen (and lbh when she first started she could afford to do this bc it’s not like she had to worry about money even tho her parents weren’t exactly supporting her). she probably started being credited in movies while she was still at college, but they were very small parts. it took her a long time to break-out because did a lotttt of theater at first but the parts she picked were always those small/supporting roles you know will lead you to the big ones one day and that’s exactly what happened. for those who didn’t follow her career she seemingly just.... showed up out of nowhere and jumped straight into the spotlight but she was like 32 when this happened and already had several movies under her belt.

her fiancé cheated on her one time and it’s a whole ordeal bc everyone has a god damn opinion about it but it’s... complex. the cheating was obviously all his fault but there was a lot of miscommunication happening and now... now she’s the one not cooperating. it’s very angsty and there’s lots of ups and downs and very happy moments and extremely sad moments (and they might end up taking a break at some point) and everything is a thousand times worse when your life is splashed in the front page of magazines. they do love each other very much, and that kind of makes everything worse. i have a whole plot written for it lmao

*GAVIN / MID OR 30S / firefighter or cook or smth else open fc difficulty to fit in a wanted ad:   mid

As a kid Gavin had a massive attitude problem and serious unresolved issues, but once he was determined to get over them he never looked back.

He was never a genuinely bad person, it’s just that the environment in which he was raised, especially in his teens, gave him a very wrong idea of how a person, especially a boy from his social class, should go about in the world and conditioned him to act in a certain way. Even if he did help around the house a lot (honestly he was kind of a fiona gallagher in a way) he was raised (not by his family in particular but the community as a whole) with a very stereotypical notion of what boys are supposed to act like. I don’t think he ever thought too much of it, if it was right or wrong or just plain backyards thinking, it was just his reality.

He went through three decisive moments which essentially shaped his life. The first one was his mother’s death, he was around 7 and he processed it the way a young boy raised in the environment he was raised in would, plus he had a slightly older brother and it was easy to just follow his footsteps. Close as they were, their bonding was often over the wrong things or in the wrong way, and while they were already close as young children after their mother’s death they became even closer and that was also the time they started taking the art of being troublemakers to another level.

The second one was not going to college. He made it there, and on a scholarship (and he was a year younger than most of his peers and all because he got into high school a year earlier), but pretty much blew that and just walked away back home. For a while, particularly while he was trying to get his shit together, this was a part of his past that deeply disturbed him and he beat himself up about it constantly but eventually he reached the conclusion that stupid as his actions were they got him where he is, so he sort of feels like it just had to happen.

The third one was his eldest brother’s death. He died in a bar fight, or more accurately after it, and Gavin was there and he was involved. His brother’s passing really made him go off the deep end - extremely bad decisions were made during that time and a couple of those landed him in juvie. Even though that’s obviously not a good thing to have on your CV, or to just share with anyone let’s be honest, it truly the only time in his life where he seriously acted out, crashed, and then was able to evaluate himself, and angry as he was when he initially got there, being surrounded by people who had done worse things than him only made him realize that their situations and futures weren’t things he wanted for himself - they weren’t things he wanted to conform himself to.

Easier said (or thought) than done, however. He didn’t have any money of his own when he got out, nor did he have proper support, and on top of all of the things he had left on hold prior to going to juvie his half-sister also started getting herself into serious trouble. It’s not easy to get out of the place in which he was raised, either you’re lucky or risk it all or the circumstances just aren’t in your favor and no one is really rooting for you. He had some street debts to pay (both his and his brother’s), he had actual bills to help paying… it just wasn’t a good situation.

So he got a job and spent years just trying to do what he had to do to get people off his back (and it was around during this period that he started cooking at one of his jobs in a shitty joint). When he was 22/23 he nearly landed himself in jail because of his half-sister - at that point she was really young, she didn’t have a record and he didn’t want her to mess up her life so early on and potentially in such a permanent manner. Luckily he got away with community service (and his service included working with food). His half-sister apologized to him a lot, and she was thankful, but she didn’t really do anything to change her behavior. This whole affair was essentially his final drop; he was absolutely done with that whole environment and his situation, and he realised that he needed to go elsewhere, do or try something else, because if he stayed as much as he wanted to turn his life around it wasn’t going to happen.

Currently lives with a coworker but for a while he lived with an old acquaintance who used to be extremely close to his eldest brother (and by extremely close I mean, more than friends extremely close) and who was still up to his old tricks but he was very welcoming and didn’t bother Gavin in the least. Plus they had opposite schedules which Gavin found perfect because for most of the time he felt like the place was his alone (which was extremely important because it gave him time and space to develop and better himself as an individual).

He’s just a guy living his life not thinking too much about things or worrying about the future. He doesn’t trust easily though and he’s often suspicious of people’s intentions. 

PS: low-key really want a “we had a crappy blind date and ended up just having sex and it’s been about a month and i just got a text from u and wait what you’re pregnant??” plot for him

*ELEANOR / MID 30S / radio show host or uni professor, probs  both tbh   probably gemma arterton or olivia munn  if she’s not taken difficulty to fit in a wanted ad:   mid

"Sunday morning with a slight hangover in the gym with no makeup on.... not going to get off this treadmill but I am considering putting my sunglasses on." that’s the eleanor #mood

if hogwarts was real, she'd have been sorted into slytherin (which is obvs a v important detail).

she's the legal guardian of her niece and nephew. she had a twin sister who died she and her husband nominated her as legal guardian of the kids - she's still learning how to handle/process this. 

(she... never liked being a twin, she actually hated it and she and her twin lead every different lives, but now that her twin is gone it’s... it’s odd and she’s dealing with it the best she can. she feels guilty in a way even tho she obvs knows their death was not her fault in any way)

she’s force of nature; a very well presented cocktail of audacity, resourcefulness, energy, and confidence. she likes to think she's just staying in her lane doing her thing but she's def likes to know what's going on and if you ask for her opinion you're certainly going to get an honest answer ¯\_(ツ)_/.

honestly she totally is a "when life gives you lemons...." person: sociable, determined, headstrong, practical, outgoing, super confident, unapologetic... she can be kind of selfish and pig-headed sometimes, and she does have trouble backing away from challenges... those are two of her big flaws. she doesn't like to depend on anything or anyone and she's afraid of investing in things that will lead nowhere

when she was a teen she occasionally often made questionable life choices... altho lbh she still does, although not as often and probably not as questionable.

she's engaged (i don't know exactly how long it's been, but it hasn't been over four years), but she's definitely dated/seen other people in the past. her current relationship aside, she likely was never in any long-term/serious relationships, but if you have ideas feel free to share because honestly i live for pre-established character connections and #drama/angst.   

*VALENTINA / mid30S / idk  probably diane guerrero if she’s not taken difficulty to fit in a wanted ad:   mid

a bit of a shy child, her parents immigrated to wales when she was 6. struggled a lot but never once complained - she was young, but old and skewed enough to realize that if her parents were leaving so much behind it was out of necessity not desire.  

her younger sister was only one year old when the family moved to wales (so she grew up surrounded by english culture and fully embracing it - way too much, at times), her older brother, who got to spend his 9th anniversary in a small and damp house surrounded by no friends and family other than his parents and sisters, gave their parents a very hard time by becoming moody and picking fights.

unlike many middle children, valentina didn't suffer from middle child syndrome - she didn't have the time to, anyway. when she wasn't struggling with her social life and the english language, she spent her time devouring books, cautiously exploring the city, taking care of her sister, and making sure her brother stayed out of trouble (and, later on, making sure that her sister stayed out of trouble as well).

her father died when she was 15 - he'd been feeling ill for a couple months, but it was a shock all the same. valentina and her brother had been arguing a lot then (for a variety of, primarily mundane, reasons) and their father's passing only made it worse.

with her husband's death, valentina's mothes decided that she owned it to his memory to be a little braver - life is short after all - and about a year later she ended up meeting a guy who............. was not.............. a good person...................... but he was comfortable in life and she liked him and she thought he could help her give her children an education etc etc etc

it started with microaggressions and then not so micro ones and the next thing she knew her brother was getting smacked for lack of respect. it wasn't the first nor the last time it happened, and at one point or the other everyone got to experience what the palm of his hand felt like against their cheek or the feeling of his long fingers wrapping tightly around their arm - she got her first bruise for speaking spanish. 

her brother’s girlfriend at the time was an absolute angel who helping out and with the help of her family they managed to have him kicked out in Easter. valentina's brother's girlfriend and her family offering their own house as a place for them to stay for as long as they wish.    

anyway she goes to college and she’s ends up studying abroad for a while and on her first day back, she walks into her home and is greeted by a man she's never seen before - her sister popping up from the kitchen with a smile, casually and cheerfully explaining the situation. valentina knows, even before she puts her bag down, that this will end poorly. he sounds charming at first but she's met charming men like him before, and when she asks him to leave it's when he starts showing his true colours (she's not shocked in the least but she is, in a way, surprised that he put up such a poor fight and that it took so little time for him to snap). she ends up with a black eye and a bruised cheek, he ends up in the hospital. her sister promises her it was the last time.

her current job as a diplomat is one she loves - she had a good mentor too, which helped - but she never dreamed that she'd end up where she is today - she could never have, it was a dream that was so unfathomable it never even existed - and even though she has always worked hard she never even worked to have the life she has, not exactly. she never did anything with any goals in particular in mind. her only goals were always to make her parents proud and not to become a statistic.  

optional: she’s in an unofficial love/hate relationship with either a journalist or another diplomat from another country and it’s.... complicated and angsty af

FRANK /  30s  / late night show host open fc difficulty to fit in a wanted ad:   low

all i have so far for him is that he is a late night show host. think trevor noah. probably was a voice actor at some point (or still is)

don’t have a lot for him so if im bringing him onto the site i def need to fit him in a specific plot

Owen /  idk  / idk open fc 

there was never anything special about owen, and (although it often made him jealous that his brother was more outgoing and less anxious) - he was just a regular middle class boy and he never felt the strong desire to be any other way. 

when he was in junior year he got into a car accident with his brother - the two were arguing about something stupid and the car swerved off the lane. since then, owen lives with chronic back-pain and his demeanor has changed significantly. he’s less approachable and more grumpy, in addition, he dropped out of college because of his anxiety which is something he’s very ashamed off. 

"eliza” (might switch to  a male character) /  idk  / idk open fc

✈ eliza was brought up in lower-class family in a lower middle class neighborhood. her childhood wasn’t crappy, her parents weren’t abusive, and she always had clean clothes and food on the table (sometimes it was hard, and the family certainly didn’t splurge, but her basic necessities were almost always met). neither of her parents finished college - her father dropped out and her mother didn’t even make it to college because her family didn’t have enough money to put her through it.

✈ eliza’s father, brian, is a first generation immigrant, her mother, karen, was born and raised in colorado. the two went to the same high school and that’s where they met and dated for a solid year before breaking up. they reconnected later (when they were in their mid 20s) at a mall where eliza’s mother was waiting tables and her father worked as a security guard. the truth about eliza's parents is that they clung to one another: the don’t hate each other, but they don’t love each other either, they never did. they stayed together primarily out of fear and concern that nothing better would come along - because it was convenient. they’re both people who could have gotten much further in life than what they did and, in many aspects, this is one thing that has always deeply bothered eliza. they never tried, they never pushed themselves, they never did anything for things to go any other way than the way they did. their conformism and apathy are two things eliza has always detested, and a part of her still holds this against them.

✈ growing up, eliza was very aware that she didn’t look like most people around her. in both pre-school and middle-school she was the only multiracial child. throughout her early years and teenage-hood comments and questions about, primarily, her eyes and parents were heard often - some innocent and curious, others less so. she’s not a stranger to maliciousness, bullying, and the direct consequences of ignorance, and saying that none of it never effected her would be a lie. her different looks and lack of monetary means always made her feel like she was at a disadvantage and she often felt jealous of her classmates and friends - of both their looks and possessions. not feeling comfortable to discuss these thoughts and feelings with anyone, eliza got used to process them by herself. this is something she still does to this day - she’ll seldom ask for one’s advice or input, and if she does, it’s because she truly values it. slowly and steadily, she began to use her insecurities as both a shield and a weapon - as ways of motivating her to move forward in her life, change what she could and make peace with what she couldn’t.

✈ her parents were extremely proud when she was accepted to not one but three medical schools. she was glad but their pride didn't feel like much. she didn't do it for them or with their help, it was all by her for her (besides, her father's inability to get an education and honor his parents efforts to pursue a better life is something that has never sit well with eliza, so his opinion concerning her education isn't one she ever valued a lot). money was a real concern but eliza took care of that all by herself as well: her good grades granted her a partial scholarship and throughout her years as as student she kept a job or two (even in summers). it wasn't easy, but nothing ever came easy to eliza, she never relied on easy - she was focused and determined and she knew exactly what she had to do to get where she wanted to.

✈ while eliza has always felt like she's the only person in control of her life, she's also always been well aware that, as a child and teenager, she was never someone who could afford to dwell on options and choose whatever she fancied the most. she either took what came along and made the most of it, or had to stay objective and practical. choosing to study medicine was a combination of all of those. it was practical, she didn't dislike it, it gave her good career prospects, and it was also an homage to her paternal grandparents - her grandfather was a doctor before he immigrated and her grandmother always talked about she wanted to have become a 'brain doctor'. while eliza's grandfather died when she was very young, eliza's grandmother kept all of his notebooks and she took great pleasure in going through them with her granddaughter.

✈ eliza’s main motivation growing up (and, perhaps, even today) was to not turn out like her parents. she doesn’t even consider what they have an actual life because, as far as she’s concerned, they’re exiting and not actually living. it’s frustrating for her, it has always been, especially because their decisions didn’t just affect their own lives but also hers (ie: she could have gone to better schools, lived in a better house, tried different hobbies, etc etc etc). in addition, even though they never accomplished anything significant and are the epitome of conformism, they often feel entitled to have opinions and pass judgment that eliza simply doesn’t tolerate. for instance, they often question her parenting (even before her daughter was born they already questioned whether or not she'd make a good mother, and they still grind her gear about her "handing over" the majority custody to her ex) and they were very vocal about their disapproval of her marriage, and what eliza hates the most and has trouble living with is that almost everything they said happened. (there are times where she finds herself wondering if they were right, not about the obvious things, like that she married too fast, but the little ones, like that deep down she said yes because just like them, scared that nothing better - or nothing at all - will come along.)

✈ she was 27, a surgical resident, and already a mom when she got her right hand's fingers stuck in a car's door. she broke three and ended up with nerve damage that prevents her from making specific gestures with a steady hand. so that, was the end of that. the injury rarely impacts her daily life unless she's like, trying to eat with chopsticks or has to sew something up. she's gotten used to doing a lot of things with her non-dominant hand though. 

✈ while defensive and often assertive, eliza isn't someone who likes to argue. it exhausts her beyond words and makes her relive her teenage years and the necessity to always defend and stand up for herself. while she was brought up in a house where it was almost always quiet, she spent a large portion of her early years listening to other people - primarily neighbors - arguing day and night. in addition, at college she shared an apartment with five very loud people who were always squabbling among themselves or with their significant others, which deeply irritated her. when it comes to her home environment and her relationships, she likes them calm and honest. discussions are to be thoughtful and polite, but if you get her going (and especially if you raise your voice to her) it'll turn out poorly - she doesn't back down, it's stronger than her.  

[deleted] MOIRA /  late 40s  /  head of the foreign desk LUCY LIU IF SHE’S NOT TAKEN   difficulty to fit in a wanted ad:   mid

war correspondent

got shot at

not a war correspondent anymore just a regular reporter

pissed af about it

will make you look like a fool on tv in front of millions of people

will be sitting outside your office every day for as long as it takes for you to talk to her/answer her questions

years ago (like, 20 smth) she met a war doctor while abroad and the two had a kid they gave up for adoption

honestly will likely only bring him if i can have a couple pre-establish connections like his the child she gave up for adoption, her ex, a mutual dislike with like a colleague or a politician, etc

NEAL /  mid or late 30S / hockey or football player probably manish dayal if he’s not taken

neal was born to an average middle class family and has two younger sisters. his mom’s a canadian maths teacher and his dad was an english cardiac surgeon who passed away when he was around ten.

he has dual citizenship which is…….. nice

one of his sisters is married and they’re relatively close, the other one got involved in a lot of bad things when she was a teen and it seems that no matter how much help the family provides she can’t move past her issues. neal’s sisters haven’t been in touch with each other for a handful of years now. even though his eldest sister’s decision to cut ties with their younger sister bothered him greatly, he too ended up sort of doing the same thing a couple years down the road when she cleaned his apartment of any valuables. she stills calls asking for money occasionally, which is… complicated.

about two years ago his mom started dating a grandpa she met in aerobics class. he finds the whole thing really weird and vaguely disturbing but just rolls with it.

neal finds that it’s important to have aspirations and goals but it’s even more important to roll with whatever the universe throws at you. life’s weird and ends too soon, the world’s a mess; don’t overthink things, just make the most of your time while you’re here.

he’s definitely not afraid of confrontation but he has no interest in nor patient for it - life’s too short for it in his opinion. he’s that guy that really doesn’t want to get into a fight but then his friend starts it and he’s like “god damn it” and he sticks by their side

he’s not loyal to a fault tho.  

even though she’s a very carefree, jovial, and relaxed person, he started to feel the weight of having responsibilities at a very young age (essentially since his father got sick), so he does get weirdly/crazy responsible and all grown-up when it comes to family and work matters, and he can be a bit of a dad with his close friends at times.

that said, he cares… but selectively so, which leads to him acting a little bit like a dick sometimes. he just has a “live and let live” attitude, buckets of self-esteem, and has never been one to spend too much time being sad or mulling things over.

he’s not one to chase after people: if you tell him “no”, he’s not going to hear “win me over”, he’ll literally just be like “k, cheers” and move on.

he’s only been truly in love once and she ended things out of the blue because she couldn’t handle his schedule and exposure & was afraid of commitment. it was gr8!!!!!!!!! totally did not fucking gut him!!!!!!

he’s someone who would really like to settle down for real but at the same time he’s not actively pursuing a serious relationship. most of the girls neal’s gotten involved with… he liked them but he wasn’t in love with them. he doesn’t feign interest, nor does he pretend to feel more than he does, but he likes to have fun and he isn’t going to wait around until ~the one~ comes along to start having fun. he doesn’t play games, he’s very honest about his intentions so if it’s just flirting/sex, you’ll know it. if he feels something more, he’ll tell you. occasionally he’s not being as clear as he thinks he is and that had resulted in some pretty awkward situations.

optional: he got married to an old friend at some point, they had a daughter, and they divorced a year after they got married. the press made a huge deal out of it. it wasn’t. they parted ways amicably and are still very good friends. the reason why they divorced is simply: his wife could tell that while he loved her he didn’t love her as much as he was still hung up on someone else, and she refused to be in a marriage like that.