#he's like 'just put me out of my misery'
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@itmeanspeace
"What exactly am I supposed to do with this thing? I work with kids! I can't have a dog, let alone a hellhound, following me around all day." Tell him it'll at least stay in his apartment without destroying it or eating his neighbours. For god's sake, he doesn't ask for much, so please just cut him a little bit of a break, here.
#itmeanspeace#✦ ic: jd palmer#✦ verse: main (jd palmer)#✦ closed starter: jd palmer#oh man he's so upset#he's like 'just put me out of my misery'#it's so funny lmao
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babpy.
#pizza tower#peppino#arts#mine#happy pride; heres a little otter for u#hes like very early 20s here#happy and unbothered before the Horrors happened#it is NOT his 30s bc he needs to exude raw dilf energy by that point#but for now he is anxious and sweet and awkward#not that i dont draw him like that already but its like 10x here#its PALPABLE#okay mwah i will hopefully come back w more than just sketches that mean nothing skjfsdjkfdhfhsk#i have LITERALLY been on this commission for WEEKS i need someone to take me out back and put me out of my misery i swear#im going to finish the lines TODAY like i cant be this person i cant keep coming back to this fucking comm w no progress ill simply Die#its like singlehandedly preventing me from doing anything else; its making a mental block waaaaaaaau#but i feel like i am breaking through it today. at least i HOPE i am sdkjfsdjkfjsdkf#um if u are still here ilu. send me some anons; i want to be chatty but the messages i have feel like i need to respond w essays#and i literally. cannot.#at least until i get my head screwed on properly again
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guys I’m starting to think ash is lying when he says “I never thought about killing myself”
#yeah he SAYS that. but almost every time he is given an opportunity to kill himself he goes ‘fuck it sure’#idk. maybe it’s just me but I feel like ‘I never thought about killing myself I just fantasized about being put out of my misery’#is not the comforting assurance he probably means it to he#perhaps I’ll write a proper lil meta abt this but hearing that and seeing how he Is. that is not a guy who is not suicidal#suicide tw#banana fish#ash lynx
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bunny moment
#river dipping#ts4#theodore doe#echthroi#upped the opacity on the sclera overlay i use for him specifically so i could catch him doing this in game#he's soooo cute#i need to start posting more random screenshots of him bc i plan on going back and making a loooooooot of old posts private#especially the ones of like. theo before i fixed his damn hairline#i CAN'TTTTTTT believe i just let him go around looking like that............... sorry theo </3#but i don't want his tag to be completely empty yk#really i wanna private most of my old posts… or just start my blog over from scratch minus all the core tagged posts and and stuff#hm. much to think about#ANYWAY................. i'm making this post just to say that i guess now that i've finished editing those pics for mattodore's little date#i no longer have an excuse not to go back to trying to retake these screenshots for those mattodore poses i made.......#WAIT. actually yes i do i have to catch up on kmik first#but when i'm done............. then it's back to the sims#which i've left open this whole time... thank you older brothers in stem for your contributions to your youngers siblings who want#your hand me down computer parts 🙏 my computer would be crying and begging me to put it out of its misery w/o you fr
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Seriously it's been over a year. Get me off this ride already.
#why am i like this#why is this happening#he is just some guy#female manipulator#girlblogger#girlblogging#gaslight gatekeep girlboss#femcel#girlblog#female hysteria#just put me out of my misery
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‘my lord n is a kind and excellent person who understands the hearts of pokémon. but conversely, perhaps his ability to understand the hearts and feelings of people is not developed enough. but… even that was part of the perfection of ghetsis’ plan.’ SHUT UUUUP I SWEAR!!!!
#STOP STOP i already feel awful about everything!! i’m already sad!!!#they went all out with the writing in this game they made sure to have like every character even in postgame remind you about n#instead of brushing aside his existence like all the other villains or blorbos who disappeared under tense conditions#like it’s not just a ‘we wash our hands of him’ or ‘aw he’s gone! so sad! anyway’ situation#it’s a ‘let’s make sure you keep feeling sad he’s gone forever’#man no wonder the protag canonly left home to go search for him#it’s canon that n and the protag actually started to really care about each other!!! please just kill me put me out of my misery#does this sage fellow even know what happened. does he know n left?#i guess he must be aware of the fact ghetsis was just using n like a prop#and yet still continues to speak of that prop as if he really is loyal to him like a subject and his king#man. all of team plasma was in on the shtick. it hurts#goldie plays pokémon black
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yall gotta give other old russian authors apart from dostoevsky and tolstoy a chance. pushkin bunin gorky bulgakov turgenev goncharov and chekhov are all whimpering and crying in a corner im so for real
#not to mention you could. give nabakov another look even if you dont want to read lolita which i get it is a hard one to get through#he has other books. read my boys they never did nothing wrong#also you should check out russian poets and thats. thats good too also ok#also someone pleaseee read the village by bunin pleaseeee its so good pleaseeeeeeeeese#kuzma is literally so babygirl you guys have no idea#rereading the post .ok as if half of you give tolstoy a chance😭war and peace isnt even that long you guys read slow burns longer than that#also . war and peace has anatole in IT I GOTTA STOP GIVING PROPAGANDA TO HIM . READ MISERY BY ANTON CHEKHOV NOW🔫!!!#you guys turgenev did not say as long as there is even just one russian alive oblomov will be remembered#for u guys to not even give it a chance#i also mention that quote bc it givees me shakes and shivers and i want to start sobbing about turgenev and goncharov like you have no clue#i have electricity and pains in my chest *pathetic* ok . read you guys go read something#i was also wondering if i should have put gogol but my boy was ukrainian and that should be respected on its own i just dont want#to slavblanket you know its important to recognise where they came from
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I cannot believe how sad that clex gif set from descent made me I reblogged it like an hour ago and I’m still thinking about it that hasn’t happened to me in months
#it’s just SO sad#why is Tom welling acting his fucking ass off with no lines#like the way he is searching for answers in Lex’s face#and he’s piecing it all together#and lex is trying to get away from him bc he knows it’s over#and there’s no going back#I feel insane#I feel like katniss with the birds gif#AND it’s the fact that iirc a few episodes before that#Clark is inside of Lex’s head and tells Lex’s inner child#im never going to give up on you#and then he IMMEDIATELY GIVES UP ON HIM#someone take me out back and put me out of my misery#smallville
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Gaslighting? In MY household? It’s more likely than you think
#sad pav hours#<- ‘tis my new vent tag. filter as needed#just pav things#I have experienced so many levels of Confusion today#I mean most of it just boils down to my dad being a dick for no good reason#what do I even do to him????? I yet again ask him this and he’s like#‘I live with you’. My mere existence causes him misery apparently#He says that I’m unlikeable. I say that people generally enjoy my whimsical disposition or just don’t care and ignore me#or in the case of [redacted] try to pacify me in neurotypical ways that only ended up hurting when I found out#instead of communicating that she didn’t want to be friends. Actually that was what my first vent post on here in 2021 was about#and very ironically it was the reason me and Dolphin became friends (random skribbl game my beloved ^^)#But I digress#Also I’ve already accounted for the fact of my future bosses probably disliking me and some people out there just by virtue of being human#but i’d like to believe I’m generally likeable??? I have so much evidence to prove this that the put-down just ends up confusing#Also the amount of name-calling is insane once you stop filtering it out#I can just casually be called stupid. again without any reason#and then people wonder why I have such low self-esteem sometimes#I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m the family scapegoat. I live with 3 blood relatives who hate me.#Also ffs I’M NOT A FREELOADER!!!! STOP sAYING THAT#I understand the real world will be brutal I see the real effects of the cost-of-living crisis every day#I’m prepared to live frugally to survive so stop saying i will be shook 😭 i’m fuckign ready to leave as soon as I have enough savings#and a place to stay. I’m done here. Except for the dogs I will always love and miss them 😭😭😭
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guess who fucked around and found out? 👯♀️💅🏻😌 (I pulled smth in my right knee 😎)
#sneaky niki#is this a:#lamb loose liveblogging#update?#u bet#no fr. now I’m 3/4 limbs out of commission basically#left wrist has been fucked since high school and cannot hold my weight nowadays#right hand is a work in progress bc. well. tendinitis decided I needed to be its vessel this time around#and now right knee?? bc I almost missed my bus and decided I could sprint all the way to the bus stop?? amazing#I feel like SDY in. my fics honestly#so. update on the fic. I’m halfway ch18 and the ratchet boi is not doing well#the trash king himself has seen better times lemme tell ya#HDS is spiraling. bc for once SDY’s misery is /not/ his own doing#so he’s all like: u cannot die on me >:0#while SDY -amnesiac as he may be- is like: dude chill I’ve see worse -_-#anyway. ik how to finish this chapter but I need to put some stuff in between first#tomorrow I’ll figure it out#for now I will just hop hop hop on my left foot like an idiot around the house#I’ll try to update the fic on ao3 in a week or so. need to edit ch8 first#you peeps have fun today ok? ik it’s tough out there but I believe in u :)#Niki out~<3#🐰🐰🐰
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Truly devastating to want to jump into an AU for your canon x oc/si ship when you haven’t even scratched the surface of your main fic for them yet 😪
#lady terror/francis western au my beloved#with sufficient elements combined from ravenous deadwood red dead redemption and true detective#not to mention that fucking hozier song it will come back is fucking stuck in my head at all times#put me out of my misery man I can’t stand it#look I just want that sheriff crozier pining in a saloon#even going so far as to be taken upstairs by one of the girls there but stopping it all before it even starts bc he really needs *her* and#he knows it. pays up anyway and tips his hat respectfully as he goes#but he wouldn’t dare get his hopes up that a fine lady like miss sinclair would take up with an old cowboy like him#sofia didn’t and why should she she has so much ahead of her what with her exploits in her father’s business ventures#he’d just tie her down#except he’s wrong bc he’s shown himself capable of letting her be herself. trouser-wearing and all on their search for that band of outlaws#and suspected cannibals up in those mountains who have been pinning things on the natives that SHE knows and has befriended and wants to#protect from the law. and she’s damn crazy for putting the bounty out and for going along with him but SHE DOES#and she can take care of herself but neither does she want to be alone and she chose him#he’s one of the only people who sees that in her#I’m gonna go cry about it cranky frog style now ok goodnight everybody
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I got a lot of compliments on my shirt today
#me#my face#selfie#I get compliments every time i wear it actually#i had a rough day and would really appreciate if someone could put me out of my misery pls and thank you#my senior dog is sick (i think it’s time for me to come to terms with the fact that he’s not living forever)#i was up on and off with him all night#worked 11 hours today on 4.5 hours of sleep#i feel like absolute shit#and tomorrow i’m working 12 and i can’t wait for Sunday so I can sleep all day#pls just ignore me venting in the tags i just need to get it out because i feel like i have no one to talk to these days#so just ignore me bitching and focus on how pretty i look on 4.5 hours of sleep
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befitting the work of a mad scientist being bankrolled by fascists, the Caliban III A would probably explode if it tried to alpha strike, seeing as how it mounts so few heat sinks compared to the horrifying number of laser weapons
plus it's got a direct neural interface, specifically to mount MORE shit on the thing by removing the need for a gyro (explanation for a 3048 chassis having that kind of tech is "Cortazar is your typical mad scientist miracle worker with an infinite budget"
basically, everything he hoped and dreamed for the original he made (and later retrofitted after Bobbie tore its arm off) for JPM, with all of the consequences
#this all being said it's an omnimech and this is just the first configuration he came up with#all of them have the direct neural interface and the need for an enhanced imaging implant that guarantees the pilot's brain melting#but the A is the ABSOLUTE WORST#expanse battletech au#once again me actually writing the BTAU version of laconia is not likely in the foreseeable future#BUT i like making the 'mechs in meklab#the caliban iii is a wretched thing that should be put out of its misery oh my god#the caliban I/II was only technically an omnimech#as in it COULD mount omnipods. mao heavy industrial just hadn't got them out the door before thoth was blown up.
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...
#ok. so the guy from school i visited emailed me today like: good news! we unanimously voted to extend u an offer here#so expect the formal offer in the next week. and im like uuuugh i wanna say yes so bad#bc in the us i would have more flexibility in the program than i would in the uk#and my options in the us r either to b a big fish in a small pond at this schoolor a little fish in a big pond at the other#bc this school is underfunded and a bit isolated out in the mountains but the staff r pretty great and big egos dont seem like a big issue#but if i go to the other school its like a big well funded school. the application was like 75 dollars. fuck u and really annoying#and i mean id have to live in new jersey. so in the city with city driving and prob a more high pressure school environment#and more of a chance of dealing with big egos. but like career wise im sure it would b good. assuming i don't mentally collapse#but i mean that doesnt seem as fun as spending 5 years out in the rocky mountains#like thry have fucking moose and bears! there were deer and turkeys in town!#and my dad just sent me a video of all the spring peepers singing back home and im like 😭 bc froggies and he was like i bet u could find#frogs out in [redacted city] and im like 😭 ur right. it just seems like the better choice for my poor overtaxed brain and the project is#so cool too. i want to get the cyano species as my computer background asap. and the guy is nice and apparently super supportive#and i could probably walk to hiking trails. god. i mean i have to say yes to that. i wanna say yes so bad. send me the formal offer bro#ill fucking take it before i even hear back from the other schools lol. ugh. i hate making choices#oof i am so excited to kno where im going and plan my departure. its gonna b such a pain moving tho i pray that my mum or dad can drive#with me bc otherwise the 20hr drive by myself might kill me. thats almost as bad as my initial move out here lol. the us is so big#ugh. again choices. is this the right choice? probably one of the biggest decisions of my life. the project feels so right. cyanobacteria#my algal group of choice. and hot springs. how tf do u say to no to that? i mean. id b doing that in new jersey too but with red algae#ugh. put me out of this misery lol. also as an aside. shout out to my fucking disaster brain for not being able to focus on a single thing#my boss in a meeting: so glad to have students and staff so excited to b working on this project!! me: lady i hate that im on this project#bc im just sitting in until they can get an actual student. i just do what im told but appreciate the enthusiasm lol#ay. im so tired. i wanna see the snow and mountains. and fix my head. and get outta the desert. and listen to frogs 🐸 😌#unrelated
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thinking about how lonnie only ever cared about will when he died and that was just to profit off of his death + will giving a girl he doesn't know his toy truck just because she's crying and he thinks she needs it more even if he knows joyce can't buy him another one + one of the very first things will did upon waking up in the hospital was ask if jonathan was okay + will telling them to close the gate in season two even though he's part of the hivemind and that would've killed him, too + will breaking his own heart by confessing his feelings and giving mike the painting he's spent so long on but saying that all of it came from el thus sacrificing his own wants and self to again help others + how that same selflessness and self-sacrificing nature of his is going to undoubtedly rear its head in season five again because he's at the center of it all and it all goes back to him and vecna is a creature that feeds off of n fans the flames of pain and guilt... feelin very scared n anxious in this chili's tonight over this actually 😳
#he is NOT going to die obviously clearly we know this they're not killing kids#BUT.#i'm just saying.... i don't think it would be crazy for him to feel guilty and like maybe this wouldn't have happened if...#well... u kno.. :(#he would never give up bc that's literally his whole thing that he's a fighter and a survivor#but. he does love his friends and his family. and he has been willing to die if it meant saving them before so like. yanno.#BUT IT WON'T HAPPEN I'M JUST SAYING THE ANGST IS LIKELY GOING TO BE THERE#AND THEN OFC EVERYONE IS GOING TO BE LIKE ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY WILLIAM SHUT UP SIT DOWN AND GO TO TIME OUT#and then we'll get some good n scrumptious hurt/comfort ok no one stone me i'm knocking on wood ok i Kno#just imagine will proposing that and everyone immediately says NO and mike especially gets pissed#because he's SICK and TIRED of fucking losing will every single time he thinks he's got him back#and god dammit he's already seen what life is like without will there he's not going to do it again he's NOT#don't go where i can't follow + crazy together + it was the best thing i've ever done + it's hawkins it's not the same without you#versus closegate + el commissioned it + she needs you and she always will#mike who is clutching onto will for dear life unwilling to let him go and will who is all too willing to#walk through the gates of hell if it means saving everyone he's ever loved and putting them out of their misery#but of course there's a better plan and letting will die is like killing a puppy it's like taking a sledgehammer to the foundation of#everything yanno. without heart we'd all fall apart n u can't beat the darkness without the light#anyway. can u tell i'm procrastinating editing my fic rn n thats why im writing epic poems in these tags <3#mine
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not to be a pain-crazed wild animal. i KNOW i do this every time. but p*riods are so fucking crazy. like my cr*mps are so bad my body is trying to strangle itself but im awake and i need to be at work in 2 hrs and get thru an entire 9 hr workday as if im not in excruciating pain and im gonna bring my heating pad and my p*in r*lief cr*am if you catch my drift (💀) and i’ll need to use them DURING a busy day in which i will not see any other ppl who get periods in person and using them is gonna be a whole awkward thing. like omg. this is not fucking normal lol
#purrs#it is normal obviously. but it’s SO fucking frustrating like omfg the amount of time i lose every single month to being in pain like this#FOR NO REASON and like half the global population has to deal w that and it’s like it’s nothing. idk. despair and suffering and misery#delete later#menstruation tw#the thing that really gets me abt it is how my mom (ik i said i would stop complaining abt her on here but we have been fighting all month#LOL so im giving myself permission) gets so fucking pissed at me and my sister when we’re in too much pain to do chores bc she thinks we’re#being lazy / making excuses and then she compares us to o it brother like.. omg um YOU should know how painful this can be first of all and#second of all why would you even make that comparison when he doesn’t lose a third of his life to his body trying to tear itself apart! lol!#and yes i could work from home or calll out sick but consider: i am mentally illabout not being at work. which * is gonna be on my ass abt w#when they hear me say that bc i know im gonna make a whole awkward big deal abt my heating pad. UGHHHHH embarrassing lmaooooo#like why do people have REGULAR B*DILY F*NCTIONS!!!!! REGULAR!!!!!!! that REGULARLY put them in this amount of pain and we have to just deal#with that like it’s nothing and be discreet about and whatever. ew i sound like um… someone who cares too much abt stuff like this lol but I#im so mad abt it rn like oh my GOD can the pain just not be part of it can we just evolve to get rid of that or put structures in place in a#society for ppl to be more accepting / supporting / whatever of it. please please please please please#(also goes for more than just p*riods btw. like imagine if as a society we had things in place for ppl who are regularly in#chronic pain of any kind 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 what a world that would be 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 wow i sure hope it happens in my lifetime 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍)
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