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What do you do for a living?
resident baddie at the local power sports store. they let me hit things with a forklift and cut boxes open and bully men twice my age it's the best
#and then my knight on a half shining half muddy kawasaki bike pops a wheelie coming into work and finds reasons to be in my space#SOMETIMES I GET TO DRIVE THE SIDE BY SIDES OR FO WILLAS#anyway#shipping&receiving#that's what I do#but I love the job lol#I threatened to run the knight over#he's only knight bc he brings the food like if we order he gets it#and he fixed the seal on the bay door#so#uncle status#that's the vibe#anon#my superpower is knowing ANY box that contains a battery bc of the weight distribution regardless of how it's packed#also I pronounce the names of brands wrong to see if I'll get corrected#shoutout to Friday being payday bc I am broke#ok#love ya bunches
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bang chan - safe
Pairing: Mafia leader!Bang Chan x Reader | Genre: mafia, angst & fluff | Warnings: mentions of a break in, fighting, mafia themes | WC: 1.6k
Request: Bang Chan mafia leader where you and Chan are having a night in when he hears someone downstairs and goes to check it out and calling for backup when he hears you scream upstairs bc one of the attackers had you !! Your got7 mafia fic was amazing
Safety and security was the one thing Chan always promised you. He wanted to keep you safe at all costs. You had put all your trust in him that he would keep his word. Being a small town girl you really had no idea about the inner and outer workings of the mafia. For a while there, you truly believed that things like that were all fairy tales and stories parents would tell their kids to warn them off of the idea of gangs and such.
When you met Chan that had quickly faded. Even then he had kept you safe, you were just an innocent passer-by. You had moved to the big city to land a good job and make money for your family. You hadn’t expected to walk—quite literally—into the crossfire of Chan’s group and another group. One of the men from the other group had grabbed you, pressing the head of his gun into your temple.
You were trembling and Chan could sense that, within seconds he had stood up. He may be a mafia leader, but he never harmed someone who was innocent. Especially a girl as cute as you. He had shot the man in the centre of his head without hesitation. Of course he didn’t miss; he never did. You had fallen to your knees in horror, trembling and shaking with nerves and disbelief at what just unfolded in front of you.
Chan, being your knight in shining armor, took you back to their base and helped calm you down after reassuring you that he only wanted to help protect you and that he or his team weren’t going to hurt you. You two started talking more and more and outside of his work, he was just a normal boy also finding his way in the world. It didn’t take long before you two started dating and he had always kept his word. He was to always keep you safe. You never had to look over your shoulder or fear that you’d be snatched when you were on your own.
Tonight though you had asked Chan for a night in. All you wanted to do was eat junk food and watch movies while you cuddled with him. A typically normal boyfriend-girlfriend thing to do. He had happily agreed and you two were sat with a tub of ice cream between you as you intensely focused on the Disney movie playing on the screen. You were so focused you almost missed the sound of glass breaking. Almost.
Of course Chan had heard it. He always seemed to be on high alert 24/7. You couldn’t blame him though. His career path was more dangerous than most and he couldn’t afford to be caught off guard, but that’s exactly what was happening right now. He had sent everyone home for the night, wanting to just spend time with you.
“Stay here and have Hyunjin ready on speed dial,” Chan told you.
You nodded, quickly pulling out your phone as Chan seemed to whip a small handgun out of nowhere. That was something that took you some time to get used too. Weapons of any kind just randomly hidden around the large home. Chan slowly opened the bedroom door before looking back over his shoulder at you.
“Don’t leave this room or open the door for anyone. I’ll come back for you,” You gulped at his words before nodding, feeling the anxiety start to take over you.
Chan quietly closed the door and you quickly stood up to lock it. You hadn’t noticed with your shaking hands that you had pressed Hyunjin’s contact and were currently connected to him. You heard someone saying hello and scrambled for your phone.
“Hyunjin! Hi! Sorry, we heard glass breaking downstairs and Chan wanted me to—HEY!”
You whipped your head around as someone plucked your phone from your ear. You did not like being interrupted in the middle of a conversation. When you had a knife aimed at your throat though, you couldn’t complain too much. The man was significantly larger than you. You had never seen him before but with the crazed grin on his face, you were happy this was your first meeting, and last.
Being the girlfriend of a mafia leader didn’t leave you completely defenceless. You knew how to defend yourself if you ever had too, you had just hoped you would never have too. You eyed the man in front of you, the glint of the metal blade hitting off the light which caused you to gulp, trying to understand how the hell you were going to knock that out of his hand without getting cut.
“Sorry, pretty girl,” The stranger cooed and you swallowed down bile, “You’re going to have to come with me,” You stood up slowly, never taking your gaze off the blade.
You briefly met the man’s gaze and clicked your tongue, “I don’t think so. You’re not really my type,” You could visibly see the man startle at your response. He obviously thought you were going to be an easy target.
“Then I guess you’ll just have to die here with your pretty boyfriend.” He remarked that you could only scoff in response as you rolled your eyes.
“That’s not really an option either,” The man looked very confused at the small figure that was talking back to him. He wasn’t here to play games though. His orders were clear. Either he brought you back with him alive or killed you there. He made his move and you quickly ducked down, thankfully Minho had taught you a few little tricks with examining one's movements.
You moved, yet not quick enough that the blade grazed your shoulder. You hissed in pain and turned to narrow your eyes at the man in front of you. He looked shocked, yet again, that you were putting up a fight. He growled, coming towards you again and you didn’t get as lucky. His knife cut into your hand as you grabbed for the blade which resulted in a hiss from you due to the pain, jumping back and that’s when he wrapped his arm around your neck.
“CHAN!” You screamed as loud as you could. You were so pent up on adrenaline you hadn’t heard anything that was going on downstairs. Now, your ears were open and you could hear banging and grunting coming from down there. You had only hoped Hyunjin was smart enough to know he should bring the others.
Thankfully, you’re assumption that Hyunjin was smart because a few seconds after you screamed, the bedroom door was kicked open by none other than Changbin with Chan hot on his heels. You were struggling against the man’s hold in hopes to wiggle out.
“Let. Her. Go,” Chan looked deadly and Changbin’s glare was no better. You were close with all the boys, but Changbin was probably one you were closest to besides Chan.
“Sorry, pretty boy, I have orders so she’s coming with me,” You felt something press against your neck and you groaned, finally letting your hands fall.
“I can’t believe this is happening again!” Everyone around you seemed pretty shocked at your words. Here you were, on the brink of being kidnapped or dead and you were making comments like that?
You heard the click of Chan’s gun being cocked and closed your eyes. You had seen the very quick flash of silver hair outside the window, signalling that it was Felix. You weren’t the one dying today at least. It was going to be the barbarian that still had his hands on you.
“Last chance,” Chan stated firmly, “Let. Her. Go,” Chan’s voice was dripping with venom and his grip on the handle of the gun was iron tight.
The man only laughed and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes. You inhaled a large breath and drew your elbow, swinging back as hard as you could. It was enough to surprise him and loosen his grip, which helped you to promptly slip away and scurry towards Chan. He saw the blood on your shoulder and the cut on your hand. His eyes darkened as he turned back to the intruder.
However, before he could pull the trigger, Felix graciously crashed through the window and tackled him. His hands were bound behind his back before he could even understand what had happened. You only smirked at the man as Chan ordered for him to be brought back to their base.
“I told you I wasn’t dying today, pretty boy,” You spat the words out and it seemed to anger the man but there wasn’t much he could do as he laid on the floor and hogtied.
Chan sighed as Changbin and Felix carried him out. He turned to you with a worried smile, immediately inspecting your hand, “I’ll come with you and let Minho patch it up. But I’m fine, Chan. Really. See?” You held his hand to your heart so he could feel it beating, “I’m right here, I’m breathing and I’m alive. Now let’s go! We just got this carpet and now my hand is dripping blood all over it.”
Chan could only chuckle as he gently guided you out the bedroom door and down to the car. Once he made sure you were safely settled in, he backed out and started driving.
“Are you really okay?” He asked after a few minutes of silence. You smiled and nodded at him then puckered your lips together before looking back out the window.
“Felix is going to owe us a new window by the way. That wasn’t cheap.”
#stray kids#stray kids mafia#stray kids angst#stray kids fluff#stray kids x reader#stray kids imagines#stray kids scenarios#bang chan#bang chan angst#bang chan fluff#skz#skz fluff#skz angst#skz mafia#skz chan#lee minho#seo changbin#hwang hyunjin#han jisung#lee felix#kim seungmin#yang jeongin
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Child’s Play
pairing: obi-wan kenobi x princess!reader
warnings: lots of fluff and mutual pining
notes: I wanted to write more for this duo and their story bc I just find them so precious🥺 also I want to have obi-wan’s babies but honestly who doesn’t?
summary: a trip to the village orphanage allows obi-wan to see you in a new light, and neither of you can help yourselves from picturing what it would be like to start a family together.
You stand by the ramp of your leisure ship, arms crossed impatiently over your chest and a permanent pout on your lips as you tap the outsole of your elegant slipper against the ground. You don’t see why you need a guard to complete such a mundane task, a task you’ve consummated numerous times before, but unless you were with guardian you would not be permitted access to your transport. A Jedi Knight would be quite inutile at the destination you were expected to arrive at within the next hour, and all of this fuss seemed very unnecessary.
From the palace doors does Obi-Wan then emerge looking contrite and apologetic all at once, already revealing to you the answer to your predicament.
“Well?” You ask anyway, hoping to gods your assumption is falsely based.
“I’m sorry Princess, but your father has made it very clear that you are not to leave the palace without an escort.”
“Oh, karabast,” you huff, narrowing your jaundiced gaze at the faint amusement on Obi-Wan’s features. “I’m glad you’re enjoying my misery.”
“On the contrary,” Obi-Wan repudiates. “It is not your misery I take delight in but your passionate, although stubborn, nature. I must accompany you on your journey, but I shall do my best to stay out of the way.”
As always, Obi-Wan finds a way to compromise, and as always, you find yourself melting at his understanding nature. Though you are a Princess, he never treats you as fragile or incapable. Obi-Wan has never viewed you as a damsel in distress and never will, and it makes you all the more fonder of your Jedi Knight.
“Please forgive me for my brash nature,” you smile apologetically, cheeks flushed with embarrassment. “I just can’t stand the fact that every day my freedom is chipped away at. This outing is a duty I hold closest to my heart as Princess of Caelia, and not being able to fully enjoy it without having to look over my shoulder for hidden dangers is almost too much to fathom.“
“Then I will do my best to make sure there is no danger present during our visit into the village,” Obi-Wan vows earnestly, and you can’t help but wonder if he’d still speak so passionately about protecting you if he hadn’t been hired by your father to look after you.
“Though I’d prefer to go on my own, I’m glad I’m going with you,” you say. You smile endearingly in a way that makes Obi-Wan weak at the knees, but he recovers in time to grant you a feeble smile in return.
“I think it’s best we get on our way,” he suggests, and you graciously accept the hand he offers you as he guides you up the ramp and into the ship.
~~~
Obi-Wan stands by the doorway dutifully, on guard but out of your way just as he had promised, though feeling rather silly in the process. Perhaps an escort truly hadn’t been necessary for this trip.
At the center of the room the children of the orphanage gather around you while you animatedly share exciting adventure stories with a smile bigger than Obi-Wan has ever seen. The little ones cling to your every word, wide eyes keeping your gaze with great awe and admiration, some sitting right at your feet in order to be as close as possible to their Princess.
Though not required of the previous Princesses of Caelia, you made it your duty to visit the village orphanage at least once every month. With these visits came gifts of new toys, clothes, and food you then bestowed upon the children. And though the gifts were blessings in all forms of the word, it was your kind nature that made you such a beloved presence in the drab building. You treated them as equals, beings capable of doing great things, and never once talked down to them or brushed them aside. You were patient, you were gracious, and you were tender hearted. You were the people’s princess, and it was moments like these that Obi-Wan found you almost unbearably easy to fall in love with.
“Master Kenobi?” A little voice calls, tugging at his robes and interrupting his thoughts. At his feet stands a little Twi’lek girl with doe eyes and a shy smile on her face. “Master Kenobi, would you like to sit with us for story time?”
“Oh, I...” Obi-Wan hesitates, because he really should be standing guard at the door, but what danger could there possibly be at such an establishment? “Well, I suppose I could.”
She gives him a toothy grin before taking his hand and guiding him towards the seating area. In the very back row Obi sits himself beside the Twi’lek girl- Ashla - with his legs crossed underneath him. He meets your gaze to give you a sheepish smile, and you can’t help but laugh at how out of place the grown man looks seated amongst the sea of children.
“How kind of you to join us, General Kenobi,” you tease.
“Please, don’t mind me,” he smiles, and his heart all but melts as the surrounding children snuggle closer to his side. They’ve never met a real Jedi before, and their knowing eyes are well aware of the affectionate glances you both steal when you assume no one is looking. The Princess’s knight is the pinnacle of today’s visit, and neither of you mind in the slightest.
When story time is over the children eagerly dig into their new toys, thanking you graciously for your kindness and even offering to let you play with them first. Instead you opt to sit aside and watch while your hair is braided skillfully by some of the other orphans. Obi-Wan sits beside you, eyes traveling along the complicated pattern being implemented into your hair and admiring the way you seem to glow with pure unadulterated happiness.
“I’m sure you think this is a juvenile way to spend time,” you admit, turning sheepish under his gaze. “Playing with orphans when I could be training or strengthening my healing.”
“Not at all. I must admit this trip has made me admire you even more than I thought possible.”
A faint blush tints your cheeks at his words and you cannot help but to fall deeper in love with your protector. Would it be wrong of you to imagine what it would be like to raise a child of your own with Obi-Wan? To settle down somewhere quiet away from the war where you could live out the rest of your days growing your little family? Belly swollen and heart filled to the brim with unconditional love? It was all child’s play in truth, but they were your hopes and dreams, dreams you clutched tightly to your chest and refused to ever let go of.
“I just don’t see the point of being a Princess if I don’t use my title for the good of others.”
“You have a big heart, y/n,” Obi-Wan smiles, “and I think you are going to make a fine Queen one day.”
“I can only hope so,” you smile faintly, heart aching with longing as you look upon the man seated beside you. He pauses then, almost debating whether or not to speak, before tenderly taking your hand in his own and meeting your gaze.
“And you are going to make a fine mother one day as well.”
~~~
You begin your goodbyes as the first sun begins to set, promising another visit soon and promising to bring Obi-Wan with you as well. As always, it’s hard to part from the orphanage, but you take comfort in knowing the supplies you’ve brought will tide them over foe the rest of the month at least.
Ashla approaches Obi-Wan before he can depart, resting two beaded bracelets in his awaiting palm.
“For you and the princess,” she explains shyly, and Obi-Wan smiles.
“Thank you,” he says, kneeling down before her in order to match her height, “I’ll see to it that she receives your gift.”
She smiles before flinging herself into Obi-Wan’s arms, nearly knocking him over with the sheer force of her hug. From the ship’s doorway you watch on with a fond smile as he hugs her with all of his might, promising to return to her soon. He understands now why this means so much to you and feels privileged to have been able to share such an experience with you.
The second sun is just beginning to set when you return to the palace on Obi-Wan’s arm as he escorts you back to your quarters. And decorating your wrists are the matching bracelets from the Twi’lek orphan.
#obi wan x reader#obi wan kenobi#obi wan#obi wan kenobi x reader#obi wan imagine#obi wan kenobi imagine#obi wan fic#star wars#star wars prequels#obi wan x princess!reader
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I’d love to learn more about crop! Anything you’d want to share about it!
okay okay okay i Love to talk about crop so i’m going to Try to give the shortest summary i can that’ll help make any of my other posts make sense 🥺🥰
plot: we’re plant people! we’re at war! things are Bad! simplest summary is that the original party is from agricola (food plants, monarchy w a king devoted to peace) and is kind-of allies with floaroma (flowers, obsessed with beauty). we’re also allied with the desert clans (succulents, cacti, and tumbleweeds). we’re at war with arborea (trees, a theocracy based around a god queen, just know they’re Terrible), who seems to be controlling myconia (mushrooms, we have No Idea what their deal is). and that’s the basics!!
characters: everyone is lvl 5! and everyone has Issues
camille: my girl 🥺😌🥰 shes a chamomile unity cleric, and currently trying very hard to get people in the party to Talk To Each Other. she’s an orphan, in love with agricola’s princess, and was best friends with Franto. now, she’s sworn herself to his knightly order and is devoted to serving the people and brining a better peace that works for Everyone.
franto: agricola’s former crown prince! that is, he was the prince, then renounced that to be a knight, went back to being prince, then died 😔 he was an olive paladin, kind and devoted to peace and helping his people, and fun fact: he died without ever having drawn his weapon! he was assasinated, and died bc he chose to heal the castle ward there with him instead of getting out
auberon: a blackberry monk/druid multiclass, auberon has A Lot Going On. ve can see and talk to spirits, seems to be the chosen or smth of this mystical spirit of the forest/nature. what’s the deal with that? who knows! not me, not the other players, and certainly not auberon. ve’s dealing with truly so much, and is doing ver best to cope, but can get pretty lonely :((( the player is committed to trama (teen drama), as we all should be, but our dm keeps making things serious instead 🙄 /j
fásach: the dad of the party, fásach is a saguaro cactus barbarian who recently won a duel to become the leader of the desert clans! previously, they were the head of the guard back at agricola’s palace. he has a tulip wife and has basically adopted cami and we’re taking franto’s oaths together once we’re Eventually able to have the official ceremony 🥺🥰
sparrow: a 20int asparagus wizard who was the archmage!! she was like,,, ur really cool and smart lesbian aunt, and she especially mentored franto. she sacrificed herself to bring down a very strategic bridge to keep back the enemy army for a bit, then got revivified by arborea for info. she was the other real Adult of the party, and left behind a spymaster tangerine wife, and auberon was the only person that survived the battle she died in
sico: oh, sico. franto’s player’s second character, he’s an amarayllis eloquence bard and the (former?) prince of floaroma. he’s bitchy and truly so repressed, but he’s also a brilliant political strategist and, as much as i hate to admit it, very very cool 😔 the one (1) piece of personal info he’s revealed to us is that he loves his sister, and his sister got killed last week, so. there’s That to unpack. however, we’re planning to do a coup and make him king of floaroma :D
cerise: sparrow’s players second character!! she’s a cherry tree divine soul sorc who escapes from arborea after they experimented on her. we just finished up an arc about saving the other sorcerers from the same facility she was held at. she’s an Older Sister™️, and has a Complicated relationship with divinity. she’s also my ally in forcing sico and auberon to talk about their emotions/problems and i love her so much for that 😌
*advertiser voice*: for more info (incomprehensible spiraling), check out: my crop tag, hannah @explorerspack’s crop tag, or the various crop spectator’s crop posts hdjsjs
#i. i truly TRIED to make this as short and simple as possible#this Might make things understanble enough that my constant spiraling makes Some sense#truly it’s SUCH a good story i’m always happy to talk abt it if people have questions :D bc the thing is i Will post abt it no matter what#also age clarification cami auberon sico and franto r all 18/19#cerise is 20ish i think? maybe 21#sparrow and fasach r Adults™️#crop#nicki talks#dnd hours#ty for asking it’s genuinely very fun to know that ppl r curious about this 🥺#also i should make it clear. i love sico with my entire heart and the player and i r good friends we just also bully each other#💖#also I Considered saying kes plays sico for the bit but. I think my crop posts r already confusing enough jsdbfhjsl
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Morning After
@badthingshappenbingo
Ao3 Link
Bingo Card link
A short lil' thing bc I read a bunch of Moon Knight comics instead of sleeping
Prompt: Food Poisoning
Fandom: Marvel Comics/Moon Knight
Warnings: Brief mention of vomiting
Wordcount: 724
Marc fronts in the morning with a stomach ache.
As usual, Marc woke in a slight daze. He blinked rapidly, bringing himself to focus before rolling over to check his phone immediately.
Wednesday the 3rd. 9:34am. Texts from Frenchie and Marlene that seemed normal. Weather app saying it would be overcast. Boring emails not meant for him.
Okay, good. Only out for the evening. Someone else was fronting last night. Who though?
He pressed a hand to his stomach for a moment, groaning. It churned uncomfortably, sending a stabbing pain through his gut.
Sitting up didn’t help, if anything made the feeling worse as he wrapped both arms around his middle. He belched into his closed fist, wincing at the aftertaste of who knows what.
“Urgh...gross…”
> Oh. Shit, man. Sorry.
Marc raised one hand to his head, pressing the heel of his palm against his temple as he rubbed his middle with the other hand.
“Jake,” he mumbled, “What did you do?”
> It wasn’t anything bad-!
Marc cut him off with another groan, doubling over as he felt his mouth fill with saliva. He moved his hand to clasp over his lips, suddenly realising what was happening.
It didn’t take long for him to decide to stumble toward the bathroom. Down on his knees in front of the toilet, lid up and-
“...hrk!”
Marc tilted his head back and whined at the ceiling, before finding himself puking into the toilet once more.
“What did you do?” he repeated, closing his eyes for a few moments.
He could visualise himself in headspace in this respite, see the guilty look on Jake’s face as he rubbed the back of his neck. Behind him, Steven rolled his eyes as Khonshu looked on, the bird skull head tilted. Above all this human nonsense but still keeping watch.
“I left a note,” Jake said, raising his other hand defensively, “On the whiteboard, like we’re meant to. I thought it would have passed by the time you woke up.”
Marc opened his eyes, steadying himself to his feet using the wall for support. He cast a cautionary glance toward the toilet but flushed before he could think too hard about it and went into the kitchen instead, pouring himself a glass of water.
As he drank, he looked over at the dry-erase board attached to the fridge – a suggestion from a therapist at some point, to help with communication within the system. Have some way to leave messages for others when they fronted. Call back this number, remember to take the trash out, there’s a tear in the Moon Knight suit. That kind of thing.
They each had their own colour even. Black for Marc, blue for Steven, green for Jake and red for Khonshu. Not that he ever wrote anything, just the occasional cryptic drawing.
But this morning, there in green, was Jake’s message.
Ate from a food truck last night, some kind of meatballs? Stomach not happy. Drank some Pepto. Leftovers in fridge if you wanna risk it.
“Oh thank god,” Marc said with a sigh of relief, setting the glass down on the counter, “It’s just food poisoning. I thought you’d done something worse.”
> You have that little faith in me?
- He has every right to, I’d say.
> Oh, don’t you start Steven…
Marc tapped at his temple, shaking his head. This would pass soon.
He still decided to check inside the fridge, opening the Styrofoam container curiously. One and a half giant meatballs in some kind of spicy looking sauce over a limp bed of lettuce.The smell made his stomach churn again, but he had to admit it wasn’t a bad one.
“Man, those look good,” he said, pouting a little as he turned to dump them in the trash – he was not taking the risk. “You know what? Don’t even blame you. I’d have ordered those too.”
> It seemed like a good idea at the time…
* I think that perhaps we are allergic to red onion. Or at the very least, it does not enjoy being in our presence.
Marc shook his head, getting a start on a proper breakfast of cereal and coffee.
“Who does?”
He paused for a moment, staring blankly at the bowl in front of him. He grimaced, hand to his mouth again as he ran to the bathroom once more.
This better not last all day!
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Order from Haikyuu Teens,
uhh ,, hello !! if it’s not too late , could i get a dalgona matchup latte please ? i am a infp-t & my enneagram type is 9 ! people who didn’t really know but now they do say that i always looked/seemed like the kind of person who is really cold & stuck up (only bc i look “mean”) . i’m very loyal . i’m the kind of person who’ll support & be there for my friends . i’m also caring (maybe a little too caring from what my friends tell me. but, i even know that myself) & i tend to be really selfless . once i get to know you , i’m really childish & i always try to make a dumb joke to make you laugh & ,,, i become more talkative & loud . i always catch myself rambling about random things & having too much enjoyment talking about things that i really like . mainly , only people who are close to me see how i really act & behave . i was never really an out-there kind of person ,,, i always like to keep to myself . but moving on to cons , i’m a total pushover— like— i’m not even going to lie about that fact . it sucks but , it is what it is . i overthink waay too much & it causes to make myself panic sometimes . i’m really stubborn & i also really don’t know when to shut up & i tend to be very vain . i also keep my feelings to myself because i feel like i’ll be such a burden or just ruin the mood . i’m a total lazy person & i tend to really take things to heart (which makes me want to morph myself into a person that someone wants me to be) & dear gOd ,,,, i’m so awkward (that it even makes my friends feel uneasy or awkward as well) . i really love to draw , stay up late , sing , & dance (even though i’m very terrible at both ^__^;;) . i also really enjoy being stupid on calls , sending memes , korean food , & kpop ! hmm … my dislikes ? well— i don’t like it when people are obviously being rude for no reason . i dislike very bright colors (neons) , spiders , getting dirty , the cold , & squash . let’s see … in a relationship , i like someone who will make feel safe & loved . i have very low self-esteem so i seek someone who is supporting , too . someone who is caring even if they tend to act cold or maybe stubborn . & i like someone who’s going to be there for me like i’m always going to be there for them , no matter what . i also really like a someone who is strong , cool , & protective . i do like that small things like “hey , go to sleep .. its late” & “good morning/good night” text , heh . but i things i don’t like too much in a relationship is too much pda . i’m not really a big fan of making out in the halls & stuff . but ofc i don’t mind holding hands & small kisses on the lips (i like to show all my love & affection behind closed doors) .
aCK- i hope this is okay & not too much- sorry if it is !! i hope you have a wonderful day ! :>> i really love your blog ♡♡
Thank you so much for ordering and checking up on Kyupid's Love Shop. One Dalgona Matchup Latte coming up! Huh, I’ve been seeing lots of side effects for this one… anyways, I matcha up with ˚₊·͟͟͟͟͟͟͞͞͞͞͞͞➳❥
➞ before you two were in a relationship, ryuu didn’t actually… particularly like you, he was still smitten with ms. kiyoko y’know
➞ he’s sadly one of those people who do judge the book by its cover, but only because he prefers to be surrounded by positive people, and well… you didn’t particularly radiate that kind of vibe with, uh, your face (he really do be a hypocrite though with that ‘grr grr thug’ face of his 😔✌️)
➞ ryuu found you so intimidating (and beautiful, but he was in denial back then), you once saw him do his signature ‘gangsta’ look at you; yeah… y’all definitely didn’t get along at first — but ahem, let me introduce you to another matchmaker, ennoshita!
➞ enno knows your true personality and he vibes with you so well, therefore it really confused him when you accidentally slipped in something about ryuu’s attitude towards you during one of your guys’ convos (y’all were in a group project together) and he knows the reason why ryuu tends to avoid you, so he devised a plan to get you two to know each other: have a study date!
➞ when ryuu walked into the room and saw you, mans turned into the flash and just dashed towards the exit — but enno was one step ahead, so he got nishi to lock the doors before dropping off tanaka, and his attempt to leave failed
➞ it was soooo embarrassing for the both of you when enno kept on trying to keep a conversation going between the two of you; but when he decided to leave to make hot chocolate, ryuu apologizes and voices his concerns, and you just reply with “oh… oh, yeah that kind of happens… a lot” so you try to explain your side; he was honestly heartbroken from hearing that you experience it often, so he made it his mission to make it up to you
➞ and now would you look at that! you and ryuu are suddenly a couple now— (better thank enno for that)
➞ he will apologize profusely about the way he treated you beforehand, even if you’ve already told him a millions times that it’s fine; like y’all already have kids and he’ll still be like:
“hey, honey…”
“yeees?”
“you remember that time in high schoo—“
“omg, ryuu, not this again…”
“i just want to say that i’m so sor—“
“it’s been 19 years!”
➞ you will honestly feel like a queen, i’m being legit here; he’ll not only be your king, he’ll also be your knight in shining armour, and your butler — he’s the whole package, bby, and you’re one lucky girl to get all of that
➞ you think you’re too caring? nah, ryuu’s about to show you the life of a full time simp (skjkskss ik that being a simp is like so looked down on, but ik that every girl wants a man who’s a simp anyways)
➞ i’m kidding, he’s actually not a simp (A man who foolishly overvalues and defers to a woman, putting her on a pedestal) but more so he’s a doting boyfriend; you just know that you’re always gonna be at your best once you get into a relationship with him, so in a way, you are treated like a queen but not to the point where he worships the ground you walk on
➞ unless you tell him that you need some space, he’ll either have his arm lightly snaked around your waist or his hand resting on the small of your back; it’s his way of knowing that you’re protected and safe around him
➞ this relationship’s dynamic works extremely well since you both balance each other’s personalities in the aspects that you won’t have to worry about being a pushover around him since that’s not something that’ll occur with him; your more reserved personality compliments his outgoing one since if ever needed, you two could bring out the other side more in each other; he tends to have a more free personality (he’s still mature, but tends to enjoy life’s offerings) so whenever he feels that you’re overthinking again, he will coo and just reassure you that it’s okay to overthink sometimes, but it’s not worth having it control your entire mood and day
➞ ngl, he’s hella stubborn as well, but when it comes to you, he makes sure to understand your thinking first and then decide before he’ll let you take control — unless he thinks you’re completely wrong, then he won’t hesitate to put a foot down because he’s not going to help you turn into a spoiled brat, which is what hubby-material boyfriends do!
➞ to him though, it’s okay to be a lil’ vain, everyone wants to look to their best! but if it does however is on the verge of crossing the line of being full-on narcissistic, then he’ll confront you about it and ask you about why you’re acting the way you are, he’ll just try to put you into healthy-thinking mode back again
➞ you like memes? welp, that makes the two of you then! he definitely sends those wholesome memes, but his most favourite one to send you (especially as one those ‘good morning texts’) is:
➞ then he follows it up with ‘good morning, babe. strong power thank you to you always 😙😙 i love you so much. see ya at school!’ (aight, sorry, i just had to)
➞ kpop dances and karaoke on. the. daily! it doesn’t matter which song he’s dancing/singing to, as long as he gets to see you smile and know that you’re happy, he’ll do it all for you; he’ll also be your hypeman, and you’ll legit feel as if you’re an actual kpop idol with all the cheering he does — we love a supportive bf in this household
➞ *cough* he’ll sing lemonade by jeremy passion to you and he sounds so fokin beautiful— *cough*
➞ during calls with him, all you can hear is very loud laughter; whoever hears it (saeko for the most part) will just unconsciously smile since your guys’ laughs are just so genuine, even if it sometimes sounds a bit like a bunch of overheated kettles, they’ll just know that you both are having such a good time together and i mean, who wouldn’t want something like that?
➞ with you, he’s the type to send a message asking if you’re awake at like 2 AM, and if you do reply then expect him to come thru your window with some food in hand because he just felt like hearing your voice and seeing you; if not, then he’ll just send some cute message like ‘sleep tight and have good dreams, baby, i’ll see you tomorrow at school’
➞ once you two started dating, ryuu just had a more realistic view of relationships and he honestly prefers it way more than the scenarios that he’s created; now he appreciates privacy when it comes to showing affection instead of full-on just laying it all out in public, it just makes it that much more special to him; holding hands and just small skin contacts is his much more preferred pda than bear-hugging you or kissing you
➞ he’s not as needy as most expected him to be, in fact he actually often just caters to your needs because to him that’s enough; so expect small gifts here and there like making you a bento box, buying you strawberry milk, key-chains and bracelets, etc.
➞ he’s just more mature when he’s in an actual relationship because he does think that that’s something special that should only be shared between the two lovers; that doesn’t mean that he won’t occasionally show you off though, so you may or may not accidentally hear him rambling to the vbc about how lucky he is to call you his
➞ he will remember and notice every little thing about you; he notices that you’re humming some new kpop song absentmindedly? he’ll ask you about it during lunch; you made a small comment about liking korean food? he’ll make some for you! and best believe it tastes amaaaaaazing
➞ with ryuu, the thought of being a burden won’t ever cross your mind because he will often remind you that you make his days so much better and thank you for it (just good shet right here)
➞ even if you feel bad for not going to gyms with him because of your tendencies of being a lil’ lazy, he won’t force you at all; he’ll either just give you a kiss on the lips and walk you home before going, or he’ll call you whilst he’s at the gym; you’ll just feel so appreciated
➞ oh, and you won’t ever have to be worried about being awkward! there’s no such thing when you’re with your boyfriend ryuu, everything just comes so natural when you’re with him, everything will just feel so right
➞ this is the relationship that everyone knows will eventually turn into marriage and building a joyous family, and everyone expects to be invited because they all wouldn’t want to miss any part of yours and ryuu’s genuine relationship that they’ve all more than likely have been a part of since the beginning; in short, everyone wants to witness your relationship’s full story till it’s very end.
I hope you enjoyed your Dalgona Matchup Latte! Here’s a visual of your chaotically genuine relationship with Tanaka Ryuunosuke: After seeing your true persona during the study sesh with Enno, he’s become all flustered every time he looks at you instead of looking at you with his usual ‘imma thug’ look; Your first kiss (he planned it, no kidding — literally place, time, the vibes, he just wanted it to be perfect for you); Tanaka likes to take his shirt off, so when you both cuddled for like the third time, and just blacked out from exhaustion after a heavy day of practice, he wakes up to find you cuddled up against his chest which is bare, this man screams— his thoughts were like ‘omg, did we do it? was i drunk? omg, pls forgive me, y/n 😭’… and you’re just left there like ‘bruh, dafuq?’; when he’s feeling appreciative of you or just being soft in general, he hugs you similar to the gif and kisses your temple before burying his face into your hair to whisper “i love you so much, y/n, you don’t even understand”; him holding your hand to his face and just talking to you, whether it’s about your day or his, or telling you how much he loves you, is probably something that he does all time whenever you two are alone.
Thank you so much for ordering and being patient with Kyupid's Love Shop, I hope you’ll still order in the future! Have a very very lovely day, sweetie ♡⋆.ೃ࿔*
an: lmao, forget about kiyoko, you his girl now. periodt.
sorry this took waaay too long, bby 😔 the spa day turned into a whole pamper-me day so i was out all day… i’m really sorry, i hope you still like your order even though it came later than promised 🥺 if there’s anything wrong (gif, colored texts not showing up) then please message me!
tanaka is waaaay too underrated, but i honestly think that he’ll literally be one the top 5 best bfs from haikyuu, like legit this man will make you feel like a damn queen (kiyoko do be lucky tho) maybe not in the beginning, but like definitely after a few weeks or so.
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I haven't read Arya x Gendry in like ... 6 years. I caught up a bit this week. Here are some I really like!
[30 some fic recs after the jump]
post 8x01 Arya keeps looking for reasons to visit Gendry in the forge. - mmh post episode askbox fic
Somewhere to Begin, MissAtomicBomb (mrs_nerimon) The Stark sisters share a moment in the wake of some impactful reunions. - lmao my most frequently used GoT tag was "westeROS" (remember Ros???) followed by "Stark famly dynamics." So Stark sisters hashing things out... my kryptonite
Beautiful & Deadly Sharp, vlaurie17 Learning to fight with a sword were some of Arya's best memories. Sansa, however, was hesitant. “What do I do with it?” “Stick ‘em with the pointy end,” Arya smirked. Sansa just rolled her eyes, “Obviously." - also Stark sisters revisiting being Vengeance-made-girls together and practising to knife someone
I'll sing for you, Ravenclawpride06 Set post 8x1. Gendry wants it bad. Arya wants it worse. Was going to more explicit but I left it vague, felt it fit better in the end. All the pining! - I’m soft for the pining
This is my wish, crazychipmink "As he studied the drawing she had given him, he slowly began to let himself believe that she was real and alive and well. He had thought about Arya so many times that the memory of her was worn in his mind. Fragile and faded, like a piece of parchment that had been read too many times. To tell the truth, sometimes, he couldn’t even remember what she looked like, only that she was the only thing he ever wanted, ever wished for.” - season 8 episode companion fic series - ao3 tag: weapons design processes are long and require many iterations - “Davos assumed he was waiting to play his part in the great war to come, but in reality, Gendry was waiting for the next remarkable thing to happen to him. Perhaps if enough remarkable things happened to him, he would finally let himself believe that the most remarkable thing that had ever happened to him had happened.” wow ok
Who are you waiting for? crazychipmink [incomplete] "She had Arya’s face and Arya’s voice and even Arya’s smile. But despite all that, he felt like he had just spoken to a ghost. An unnatural ghost of Arya, pretending to be the girl he was in love with. Gendry had traveled to the end of the world to find her, but now that he finally had, she was gone." - the angst universe evil twin version of the fic above - we will take it bc we love to suffer - and also bc the author promises "fluff" and "eventual romance" ok sounds real but ok
the thing with feathers, yanak324 If anyone is capable of bringing the old Arya back, it’s this man in front of her, which is precisely why she must walk away. - a more (immediately) optimistic read of how Arya's in episode enactments of being No One might have gone
and in the end, jeeno2 [incomplete] Five times Gendry Waters is an idiot and the one time he figures things out. - Gendry being dumb is kind of a thing and I'm not always the biggest fan of how it plays out in fanon but this is sweet!
The She-Wolves of Winterfell, vixleonard The pack survived. So has the Stark habit of keeping secrets. - 2nd generation Stark girls. Arya's daughter matter-of-factly saying "Stark women don't get married" - a whole ass mood.
Mid-Battle, Mary_West Sandor has something important to say to Gendry - if only Gendry can live long enough to hear it.
season 8 AU My Lady sanctuary_for_all Gendry and Arya find each other again. (AKA the plotline Gendry deserved in 7X07) - fic convention I am 100% here for: Arya scrabbling around Gendry's face looking for the seam. fic convention I am 100000% here for: Arya throwing off her glove in order to do so and then holding her hands against his cheek
Nights are for You (or Five Times Arya Visits Gendry in the Forge and One Time Gendry Visits Arya in the Castle) ASwornStark She hasn’t visited the forge since Jon returned home with the dragon bitch (the Stark sisters’ favored name for her) and him in tow. - reunion fic
season 7 Before We Jump, MissAtomicBomb (mrs_nerimon) Arya Stark's bastard boys bond on their way to the Wall. - anything for some good rowing references and bastard subjectivity
earlier laughing 'till our ribs get tough (that will never be enough), belasteals "Gendry took one look and laughed so hard that wine came out of his nose, until Harwin gave him a thwack alongside his ear." - A Storm of Swords, Arya IV (or, Gendry's POV on Acorn Hall) - real ones can't get enough of book canon and Acorn Hall.
Butcher, elephant_eyelash Gendry and Arya by the fire, discussing jacket potatoes and thinking murderous things. - perfect meditation on food and hunger and care
Dissimulo, Somnio, jeeno2 She is no one, now. But still the boy with the black hair haunts her dreams. - honestly the showrunners are cowards for not going there. let No One be Vagina Dentata Personified 2kwhenevertheBraavosiseasonsaired
post canon/canon divergent Charcoal, elephant_eyelash All about winter and feeling the cold. - weird how I'm obsessed with self-loathing and wintry alienation and the weight of history and ancestry but also devotion also love. super weird totally unexpected
Five Things Gendry Only Says in the Dark, jeeno2 Where no one else can hear him. - loneliness, shame, self-loathing. the important emotions. oh and spoiler alert some joy.
Like Wenda, Furious_Winter "...she could ride with Gendry and be an outlaw, like Wenda the White Fawn in the songs." - my favourite canon AUs are Arya and Gendry with the Brotherhood and my absolute favourites of those are when they are apart (who's ever heard of a marauding smith??) but have some of miserable bittersweet understanding and they glower at each other and make each other jealous and everything is unspoken but this is it this singular love they have for each other that doesn't quite work out. I've just realized that most of these recs are highkey angsty oops. anyway, this fic is like the most complete and perfect distillation of everything I want. - also this is so richly detailed and complete in itself. immensely satisfying. - yeah ok Furious_Winter is actually the master of post canon together but not Arya/Gendry love is not always enough fics. I'm just going to recommend all of them: - The Wolf's Head Helm [The Starks are back in Winterfell and Sansa is Queen in the North. One day, Arya receives a gift from an old friend... - Arya is in Sansas's queensguard.] - A Means To An End (incomplete) [Arya Stark has returned from Essos and has been staying at the Inn at the Crossroads. Things are not nearly as simple as she sees them. - fuck this one hurts so good] - A Bastard At Heart [Arya and Gendry marry other people for the good of the kingdom 'cause they're self sacrificing like that. the last line took me outtt]
the truth is, baby you're all that I need, belasteals “You were jealous,” he laughed, almost shocked. “Arya Stark of Winterfell, jealous of a whore.” - sirens This One Is Not Angsty sirens
A Girl Meets a Boy, Hotpie A girl takes a face; a girl takes a lover. - possibly my favourite Crossroads Inn fic. love the Faceless Man stuff. love the detail of Needle having a smallest spot of rust, from Braavosi Steel Pox and Arya feeling a ways about it. love picking up the Melisandre thread.
So Easy To Love, Val_Creative She misses Gendry's complaining, too enthralled with staring. "You smell like Dennett's underarms," Arya murmurs, leaning in, going for blunt honesty. Gendry opens his mouth, beginning to laugh, turning uproarious and smiling. She's never seen anything more beautiful than this. More kissable than Gendry's mouth. - the summary makes it seem like it's all kissing when there is actually a big chunk of plot - in service of eventual kissing, yes, - but! spoiler alert! they don't even get to it in this fic! not exactly - maybe why I love it a lot??
With Bells in Her Hair, semicolonlife [incomplete] The further south they travel the more Gendry starts to wonder if he truly knows this woman who wears Arya Stark's face. As he begins to doubt himself more and more, Gendry becomes obsessed with the strange bells she wears in her hair. - ruthless slightly wonky Arya is my favourite Arya.
Wayfaring, Rainfallen An accidental series centered on the same basic headcanon of how Gendry found himself in the North and how Arya found her way back to it. - wolf girl Wolf Girl WOLF GIRL
Seen, sanctuary_for_all Being important matters less than who you're important to. - He wasn't sure what that verdict was, however, until she returned the unfinished sword to rest position with a deeply satisfied expression. "I am going to kill so many people with that sword." It was probably a bad sign for his long-term sanity that Gendry felt deeply complimented by that. "Happy to help." my useless heart: pikachu face - see! I like fluffy HEAs too
Hearts, sanctuary_for_all Arya comes home to her family. (Future flash) - look, I just think it's really important that even married and with children, Arya continues murdering people uwu
other AUs/misc I'll Run (Run To You), belasteals “You would rather marry a lowborn knight than a high lord, then?” She grinned, all bared teeth and sharp eyes. “I’d rather marry no one at all, else I'd not play at this mummer’s farce.” “What about the man who outruns you?” “Nobody outruns me.” (Greek mythology fusion: Arya as Atalanta, Gendry as Hippomenes. Arya vows only to marry the man who can outrun her in a footrace) - Atalanta, Mononoke, Arya. same energy.
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fate/zero review (spoilers)
Overall: first season slow. it chugs. its a lot. but i feel its also necessary for the set up of the second season, which is much better i literally just busted through the entire season today. much better paced, nice action scenes though they do have their weird frames and angles that make everything. hm. overall just so much nicer to look at and actually enjoying to watch most of the time. if i could go back in time i would tell myself to actually watch this first and THEN watch stay/night because theres a lot of set up here i think i would have enjoyed if i had watching things in chronological order, even when stay/night is still a bit of a slog to get through.
character reviews:
Gilgamesh: Wine-Drunk Priest Seducing Ugly UFO Flying TACKY GOLD ARMOR FUCKER! PUT SOME CLOTHES ON UGLY!
Kotomine: Dad-Murdering “im ugly and going to give a 8 year old the knife i killed her dad with” FUCKER!
Tokiomi: literally the dumbest fuck in this whole line up you could see the knife already in his guts from frame one, his face just screams “murder me in the most pathetic way possible! im a dumbass!”
Matou: I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU STUPID FUCK!!! NICE JOB FUCKING THAT UP BUG FOOD! Lancelot was cool as shit though you dont get to see many knights just use a machine gun because they feel like it
Waver: probably the only character who came out of this smarter, happier, and somewhat healthier. go chase your dreams. also a gay icon. i love rider.
Ryunosuke: SUPER UGLY MOTHER FUCKER! shouldve had a more painful death!
Kayneth: King Bitch! Died like a dog but Dairmuid didnt deserve that shit! he just wants to be a loyal knight and have a fair fight! but this fucker is so out of wack and didnt even think that MAYBE its not the best idea to bring your wife around the guy with a magical mole he cant control that makes ladies fall in love with him! Stupid! Bitch!
Kiritsugu: a mother fucker, but a good mother fucker. much better protag with a lot more depth than stay/night. next stop is ubw so lets see if that changes but for now what a great main character for what is literally an explosive dick measuring contest over a cup that wants legs and murder. adds a lot more context as to how this goblet of goo is bad. also im happy we got an actual reason why he couldnt go back to his daughter bc the whole time i was like. why the FUCK didnt he go back to his daughter why did he adopt this rando when shes RIGHT THERE.
Saber: the philosophical question posed by Gilgafuck about what makes a true king has actually been bothering me and ive been thinking about it ever since he posed it. Though i hate how Saber is punished for her ideals and how she chose to be king in the first place. The set up is literally stacked against her, as someone who wants to care for her country and its people by being something to strive for and a protective force VS two tyrants who just take whatever they want by force and see their kingship as something they deserve because theyre the strongest. its actually something interesting to think about, but i feel that someone else needed to be on sabers side of the argument so that this anime isnt “weh weh arturia is a stoopid gurl she should have fallen in love with someone and been more womanly to have a fufiling life and also maybe not be king in the first place weh weh”. i guess the set up is more to prove gilgafuck wrong later in stay/night but he never really poses it then so. its not really? its just. hm.
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This one's a bit weird, but what about these kid/trollswaps: Rose Pyrope, Jade Peixes, John Zahhak, and Dave Vantas
Ooo, swapped by Class :D
Rose Pyrope, raised in relative solitude, not meeting Dragonmom until she’s 10ish years old (about 5 sweeps I’d say), with solidly middle class income. She writes. ALL of the fanfiction. She’s got access to resources, even though everything has to be shipped out to her, so she probably frequents whatever the troll equivalent of Wish and Amazon are a LOT, probably has a bunch of dumb wizard flarping gear that she really likes, as well as “edgy” and “sinister” flarping gear that really just makes it look like she shops at Troll Hot Topic. She lives in a tree, so she probably waxes poetic about the sound of wind rushing through the branches much like she had that lil tangent about the sound of rushing water underneath her canon home. Meeting her lusus in her dreams and learning how to “see” with her nose would probably just make her even more inquisitive about the world around her, another method by which she can take in information, though Dave probably makes a lot of jokes about how “nosy” she is B) Rose has a Scalesona and she and Jade roleplay together ALL THE TIME. Rose being the Seer of Mind would probably result in her role being someone who sees into the minds of others and can understand their psyche. A blinded Seer (not physically blind, but like, magically blind) would have issues seeing the good or ill intents of those around them, and probably just blindly hope that things will work out for the best without critically thinking about a person’s actions and motivations, while a Seer that came into her godhood would be, well, something like a therapist, something like a psychologist, something like- Rose. What I’m saying is Rose’s interests absolutely line up with being a Seer of Mind very fucking closely. She’d love that role give it to her please.
Jade Peixes would be quite similar to Feferi, I think. Being a child, and a very monetarily privileged child, she’d likely have a skewed perception of the world and very lofty, well-intentioned, but ultimately juvenile plans. “Kill the Condesce, rule Alternia, make everybody be nice to each other” would sum it up pretty nicely, and I could picture her being a little condescending herself. Probably still bottles her own emotions and cares too much about what other people are feeling and if she can help them out at all, and idk if Eridan is still around in this AU but if not it’d be fine because Jade, like Feferi, is a fucking kickass STRONG girl (or, gill, as it might be ;3) who can haul whales on her own. Probably has a bunch of fancy ion rifles and whatnot and only uses her trident for ceremonial stuff. Wouldn’t enjoy killing animals because she likes those a lot and is enamored with how cool animals are, but a duty is a duty and unless she has a friend or datemate to help her out then she’s the one who’s gotta do it. Probably thinks her mom is really badass, even though she’s pretty strenuous a lot of the time. Rose is very likely the only person who can get her to open up about how sucky having to take care of her is, bc, again, Jade does not like to talk about her feelings, but Rose is as nosy as she is loving so hey it works out. As Witch of Life, Jade is probably filled with enthusiasm at the fact that she can bring about LIFE. She doesn’t have to kill anything she doesn’t want to anymore, just some battle imps and those are just Game constructs anyway, she’s a HEALER, someone who can impart life into others! Gone are the nights of having to kill things just so she could avoid killing other things, her focus can move away from death, and focus instead on growth, on life, on Life, and that’s so wonderful! She’s so, so HAPPY with her role, she is all but too glad to move mindsets from focusing on death to instead flourishing with life. Probably gets along with the horrorterrors of the furthest ring really well and says hi to them whenever she’s on Derse. They’re like, her weird great-aunts and uncles, sort of, her mom was their emissary so she’s sorta like, every horrorterror’s baby sister/niece.
John Zahhak! Strong boy against. It is a role meant to help him grow not by challenging him in ways that help him into his role, which allows him to flourish, but challenges him by forcing him to go against his natural inclination, against what he’s used to, against what he was raised with, against his own expectations. He has to fight against staying quiet on the sidelines always watching, never engaging, so that he can become involved with his friends and engage in healthy emotional interactions. He has to fight against his own upbringing, that told him that he was important and others weren’t. Has to fight against the idea that has been pounded into his head over and over and over again that the world is cold and harsh and uncaring and he has to realize that life is as kind as we make it, and there is kindness in him, there is goodness in him, and he has to step out of the shadows and DO something with that.
Dave Vantas. Hoooooo. Paranoid boy. Very paranoid boy. Thinks the WORLD of his crabby dad. Very very twitchy. I can’t really see Dave getting particularly angry or short fused, but I CAN see him being deeply insecure which leads to him saying things he doesn’t necessarily mean in order to make himself feel/seem better, which inadvertently hurts others. Rose is a MENACE in his life because she’s very snoopy and he is secretive for a REASON Rose! He loves her dearly tho. Probably thinks that John is “cool” and “aloof” and “mysterious” when really John just doesn’t know how to engage. Very likely still makes shitty comics and they more than likely satirize the caste system, also the rigidity of quadrants. So like, it SEEMS like he’s making general run of the mill schlup to any algorithms looking for civil dissent, but people who pay attention can tell that Dave is actually doing some pretty quality satire for a tiny child and it’s some quality stuff, by which I mean the quality is terrible as Andrew Hussie is evil. Knight of Blood means he’s fiercely protective of his friends, and with Crabdad’s upbringing, he’s a right menace to anything he considers a threat. Is the mom friend of the group. “Have you eaten today?” “You need to eat” “So help me god I will go to your planet and feed you myself if you do not put some food in your body” “No popcorn is not a meal eat actual FOOD.” Being protective of his bonds likely means he still has some pretty fierce abandonment issues tho, and likely is still just as much of an attention whore as he is in canon because he needs to know that his friends still love him and want him around and care about him. It’s very important to him, but he winds up coming off as clingy which he HATES because he can feel himself doing it but at the same time he really really really could use the reassurance that he’s not being annoying but he feels like if he asks to much that MAKES him annoying and who does he even think he is, anyway. His blood color is a source of p big anxiety for him and he’s likely internalized a lot of the “if you’re hot blooded youre not important” rhetoric of Alternia. Fortunately, it is his bonds with his friends that then turn around and keep him safe from himself, because all his friends love him and absolutely do NOT value him any less just because he’s hot and off-spectrum, and yeah okay he can get a little annoying but they don’t think he’s annoying as a person! Just every now and then. They probably all do some stupid friendship gesture like in Yugioh or smth so Dave can always know that his friends love him and it’s cheesy and ridiculous and they all love it.
Neat swaps! People of the same Classes are quite similar, looks like :O!
#Rose Lalonde#Jade Harley#John Egbert#Dave Strider#Rose Pyrope#Jade Peixes#John Zahhak#Dave Vantas#I love typing Dave Vantas bc it makes it seem like they're married and Dave took Karkat's last name#@Hussie give me a canon Davekat wedding PLEASE#answers#Homestuck#John#Dave#Jade#kidswap#trollswap#trollstuck#idr how I tagged the last one#Homestuck meta#analysis#meta
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metr0con 2019 thursday diary
Cosplayed: tsuka-sa suou, summer uniform, w my burger king crown n my leo sign. Breakfast: ramen. Snack: none, but i did bring a package of poptarts.
This is for future me, so i’d prefer if ya didnt read but i mean. w/e.
Okay so.. I had a crappy morning and I only slept for 2 hours BUT! Con tiiiime! I got there and arrived at the hetalia panel a few minutes late but that's okay, it wasn't by many. I remembered I asked sealand during truth or dare n he said dare n I asked him to reenact his favorite fortunate dance n he was like "oh I've been waiting for this" or smth and later, I asked him how his gamer youtube channel was doing n america was like “oh dude i was ur 5th subscriber!!” n sealand was like “subscribe to me plss” n america was like “dont forget to like n subscribe. n receive notifications.” n someone dared canada to b as loud as america n she yelled when they said “be as loud as you were when u lost to russia in hockey”. at another part, someone asked america if she would rather never eat fast food again or save sealand from falling into a volcano n she hugged sealand n said “my lil bro!”. someone dared america to speak in proper english and she was all “oh pip pip cheerio” and mocking england haha
at the end of the panel, a girl came up to me n she said she liked my costume n i was like “!! r u into ES??” and they said “almost” or like. kinda or smth but they took my picture n i felt so happy gjhns
OKAY then i tried to go to the adventure t!me sing-along n q+a panel but they only did truth or dare for a few minutes n im not big into AT anyway so i wasnt rly having fun then they decided to start the singalong when they got the wifi working via someone turning on their hotspot but i had a bad throat so i just left the panel and then had abt 4 hrs to walk around! aw jeez, right?
while on my walk i saw a riku n got their pic n i was like “male idols unite hell yea” n we talked for a bit n they were talkin abt a boy idol series they had heard abt called dank!ra n i mentioned i had also heard abt that! i also came across someone who said they liked my costume or knew who i was (someone in a red beret) n we were talking abt ES n i was like “best boys go” n they said shu and i think keito n i was like “chiaki n mika.. theyre baby” n they were like “ryuse!ta! n rabitz r the most baby in ES” n i was like “oh dude those r my fav units.....” at some point, i saw kuro again!! i saw them but was too shy then later they spotted me as i walked past them n went “tsukasa!!” n i turned around n i was like “erin!!!” n i hugged them n the beret person was there too bc they were their friend apparently and kuro said they were just gonna b kuro for thursday (they were cosplaying summer uniform!kuro like they did in a previous yr) n they just wore it cuz they were hot n went “summer uniform solidarity” (bc i was summer uniform!tsukasa) n we fist bumped and i was digging around my shirt pocket to show them my souma keychain n they were like “oh dude u reaching into ur pocket reminded me i need to get smth from my pocket. i hav Fangs” n they put on costume fangs! eventually they started looking at jojo figures at the stall we were next to n we eventually parted.
at some point, the person running the itabag booth (theyre an ES fan, i kno. their site has ens-tars itabags in the examples gallery n they cosplayed ES last yr) saw me n went “ousama!” bc of my sign n i went over n they were like “guess what ia ctually got to meet arashis va last week” n i was like “RLY??” n they were showing me their arashi itabag n they were like “yea i got to shake his hand n everything aaa. n during his talk/panel (?) i kept showing off my arashi stuff as if to say “I LOVE ARASHI” n i was like “arashi is best knights member.. ara-nee............”
at some point my crown fell off while i was on the escalator? i tried to go back for it but it was gone in the Minute it took me to ride te up escalator? i assumed someone took it to wear but kenyan said someone mightve thrown it away..
i went to metro night live n it wasnt all that funny?? idk what to talk abt from it. they did a “luigi being a gamer” video series n one of them was him playing hotl!ne miami (not knowing it was violent) n he was like “ive never been to florida but i guess this is a game to simulate it!” n it said “proloogue: the metro” n he was like “oh like the convention!” n when the mask selection came up he was like “oh look we can even cosplay!” n he went thru the door n saw one of the mafia members n went “look! a congoer! hello- oh” n accidentaly shoved one of the guys down n he was like “can i help you up-” but then the character (jacket) smashed the guys head in w the button press n luigi went “....o-oh. uh-” and some of the other games were fortnite n he played a violent game n he was like “THERE IS NO GOD HERE NOW” or w/e. they also had an “Edgelords anonymous” skit in which reaper was a new member of the group but it ended w ruby r0se describing brutal ways to kill people (while listing em cheerily) n the others being disturbed n alucard ending the session.
at 7 i had nothing so i walked around. then when 8 hit, i was gonna go to Whose Line Is It Anime but apparently its time had been changed to 7 pm?? the 8 in “8:00-9:00 pm” was scribbled out in sharpie on the schedule board in front of the room n it said 7 pm but now that i think abt it.. i think they meant 7-9 pm. ....shit. oh god damn it. anyway i got sad n left then since it was kinda empty/slow bc it was nighttime, i sat down on a wall thing to open up my sougo plush keychain n some guy next to me started talking to me abt my nails and we got ot talking n apparently he had wanted to go to the dealers room but didnt kno they closed @ 8 n he was here w friend n only had a single day pass bc he had work the other days (his name was spencer) so he was just lounging and i suggested he tell his friends what he wanted n they get it for him if they hav weekend passes n asked if he knew abt the game room n he said no so i invited him to go play smash w me so we went but couldnt figure out how things worked bc there were many consoles n screens w games, but mosst had no controllers but it turns out u borrow the contollers w ur con pass! kenyan was there running the controller borrower table. he said “psst” bc he saw me n i ws like “kenyan!!!” n hugged him n he was like “hows ur weekend going dear” n i said not that great but only bc it was thursday! also my throat hurt” n he was like “did u drink?” n i was like “well.. i have water but..” n he was like “drink juice. it’ll help. that’s what ur dad wwould say” (he woukdnt) anyway we got our controllrs and started playg smash n i went, in order: joker, robin, chrom, bayonetta, greninja n he was teaching me how to play w the gamecube controller (im used to a wiimote) n he beat me every time but i had fun!
after that i was GONNA go to the v-ld panel but i looked inside while walking by n there werent many ppl so i said “okay lets go to the BB panel then. take a look” so i went in there n there were a TON of ppl anyway it was kind of boring bc im not big on murder mysteries n stuff but apparently someone solved it by saying ciel slipped n fell, no one murdered him. then they did the raffle n i didnt win but thats okay! most ppl left after the raffle ended n q+a started n i couldnt hear many ppls’ questions anyway so i was bored n thought of goint to the vl-d panel but ended up not but w/e! oh! also everyone received candy at the beginning of the panel n i ahd a mystery lollipop n it turned out to b birthday cake flavor! id never had that before. it was Good.
after that i was just wandering around n i called dad to startdriving there but the ciel i asked for a picture of, them n their friends were gawking at my nails ns tuff n one of the teens’ dads was like “how do ya pick ur nose w it??” but after that, as i was wandering around, the gundam id sen earlier that day saw me n waved n i said oh hi n went over n they (it was them n an izuru) were like “wanna hang out w us for a while?” so i was like “oh. shoot. id luv too but im waiting for my dad to pick me up” n theyw ere like “it’s okay we can just hang out til then, then, if ya’d like” so i hung out w them n the gundam was talking abt how earlier, a mukuro complimented them on their outfit n they returned the compliment n went to leave n the mukuro was like “uumm arent u gonna hang out w me? we’re from the same series n all” n they were like “not w that f***in attitude” n i was like “did ya rly say that?” n they were like “yea. ppl dont expect me ta hav attitude” n we also talked abt piercings n how i said they seemed cool n goth (the gundam had a nose ring n the izuru had a piercing near their mouth) but how it must hurt n they said it just feels like a pinch. at some point i roled over my bag so my sougo wouldnt get dirty n the izuru saw my rei button n mentioned smth abt only findin one rei button at the idol table n i was like “UR INTO ES???” n they were like “i just kno undead n a few other characters. like [points @ my leo sign] i kno him” n i went “he’s dumbass supreme” n the gundam was talking abt getting the rythm game n i was like “jut read the stories on the wiki the game is boring imo” n the izuru backed me up by saying it wasnt a rhythm game n a lil while later, i showed them the 2 cool rei cgs n i was like “big sexe” n they agreed but the izuru had said theyd seen the croassroads one i showed em (the first of the 2) n the gundam said they wnted to cosplay bloody banquet rei (the other cg i showed em) n the izuru said they wanted to cosplay them All gjhnsm i showed them ryu-seitai too n showed them undead n gundam showed an interest in adonis! we also talked abt k!n stuff n all that! im not gonna go into detail on that (esp bc it’s so late rn as im typing!) but gundam was like “i dont trust junko k!n. like, evreyone else, yea, but junko? no. or like, any other character that’s just so irredeemably shitty”. oh they also talked abt this one messy, ugly, tangly junko wig they found for $300 which shouldnt have been that much n it was just a mess of tangles. anyway t’s getting late oh gosh. anyway they said they’d b on the lookout for me tomorrow so we can say hi again!
random fun fact: SO many ppl complimented my nails today gjhnsm
#i coulda added a lil more but this was already so long!! ah!! i need to sleep im dumb tired n i need to wake up early tomorrowww#diary#con diary
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Anonymous: THE L33T, part 2/5
[Transcript by Fearless One]
So. We now know a bit more about the elites of today and what they believe and do. Lets look into the plan for the New World Order they are calling Global Government and International Community today. It has 3 parts to it. It is the same three parts they have always tried to bring into practice through history. You can see the exact schemes. The exact chess moves repeated by them time and time again. In every facet of life.
The first part. One government is already in place. As we saw earlier thanks to the 10 kingdoms under the UN which is controlled and owned by the Vatican. We are all under the ownership of the Jesuit Vatican. The only thing to do now is tear down all the countries and kingdoms we fooled masses think we live in today. To get us all on board.
The next part which is happening now. One currency. This is the reason why the dollar is being dissolved. The planned destruction called the migrant crisis we see today with the middle east and Africa is due to a war planned well before the seventies. Just another crusade to destabilize countries. De populate. Destroy history again so they can once again re write it. They have always destroyed historical sites and hospitals and schools. For centuries. For thousands of years. This is what they have done. The same elite Jesuit Blood Line. All of the divisions they force on us and corral us into. They use against us. They create divisions of every kind. One every level. Then, they will put forth the idea of change. Whatever the change is, it will ensure more safety. Or more peace. Or more wealth. Whatever you need to hear to follow the wolf in sheeps clothing. They create a problem. Then they give you the solution. So they do now with the collapse of the dollar. World Police. World Government called Community. And coming up next. One Religion.
Because of time restrains we will not be able to cover much history of the elite as we are focused on exposing them and what they are doing today. In this movie.
The original name for this elite group and the one they use to call themselves in secret today. Is the Synagogue of Satan. Changed to Synagogue of Zion. Changed to Scribes. Pharisees. Sadducees. And so on. Long before they were called Jesuits. They were called Magi. Jesuit means Magi or Magick which is the study of the satanic occult. Called Kab allah today. It is alchemy. Astrology. Mysticism. Occult. To be a true Jesuit or Magi, you must be in the blood line, just like their relatives the Spartans. They keep the blood pure. Further, the candidate must be deemed worthy. Usually depended on their financial status combined with occult power. They study astrology and use many symbols in all that they do. Signs and Symbols rule the world. It is a code.
The star is probably the most popular one. The Star of Solomon which represents Saturn. Apollo. Baal. Nimrod. Osiris. The god of the Sun who is El. or. Satan. The hexagram and the pentagram are both Luciferian symbols with different and extensive meanings. As all symbols. If you want to be awake. Then you better know the meanings of the symbols they brain wash us with subliminally and blatantly.
So. The Magi, short for Maju siya, who were sorcerers, magicians, astrologers from Persia in and long before 4 BC. In that time, they were called kings. It is just another term for priest. They are magicians. Masters of deception. They always rename, because they know it confuses those who are not vigilant. A rose by any other name. We must be awake.
The power structure or government they use calls for two leaders. In the Vatican today we see a Black and White Pope. When they ruled ancient Egypt there was a Priest and a King. Before that when they were still in the woods of Germany and called the Pannonians after their god Pan who is Lucifer. They used a Kagan and Bek. Then they moved to Rome and created the General and a Chaplain. Military and Religion. The Puppet Military Force and Master of the Mind. We hope you can see which is the more powerful. And stop feeding the trolls.
Alakazar once warned: “The audience will always look where the magician looks. The magician must never look at what he wants to conceal. The audience will treat as important what the magician treats as important, and as unimportant what the magician treats as unimportant.”
One Egyptian high priest, Kartir, led a crusade to purify Zoroastrianism. This is what the elite called their religion at that time. Kartir led a crusade to do what crusades do. Depopulate. Force populations into a certain government or religion. No different than the crusade going on today. He carved the Zoroastrian teachings on rock faces of mountains, which can still be seen in Iran and throughout the middle east today. The Zoroastrians believed fire was sacred and Kartir limited the use of fire by the real Jews, including flames used in lamps. They tried to dominate education among the Jews and destroyed synagogues. Are you starting to see how nothing changes. The elite are not Jews.
Persia was invaded. The Zoroastrian priests decided they needed a new religion again. They chose a devout Roman Catholic named Muhammad to study and become a disciple of the Kab Allah. The elite erased the name they went by from his copies of their documents, and created Muhammad as the new Zoroaster. Jesuit. Poster Child. As usual. It is all exposed in their own writings. The quran details it entirely. Do not be upset. They did the same thing with every religion. They used Ignatius Layola as the new face of Jesuits to do the name change. Once again. What do you expect. Religion is an indoctrination. A brain control program. And we have no one to blame but ourselves.
At this time in Egypt. The Jesuit priests. Called Zoroastrians at this time. Decided to change their god Nimrod to Horus and Osiris whose eye we see at the top of their pyramid. Sun worship dominated Egypt just as it dominated every empire in history. Lucifer is the god of the sun. The angel of light. They change names often. They change terms often. Claimed to be able to transfer the sun god Osiris into a circular wafer. In the ritual the followers ate the wafer they believed to now be turned into the flesh of their sun god Lucifer. The letters IHS on the sun shaped wafers stand for Isis. Horus. Set.
Joseph Smith was the face of Mormonism and it was started, like Scientology. In exactly the same way as Muhammad. Joseph Smith was drugged by the CIA. Then they red passages of the Bible to him and made him write down what he heard. And the masses mindlessly devour all propaganda the elite throw at them. Billy Graham. Rush Limbaugh. Jerry Falwell. And all the other mega men across the world. They are false prophets. They tell lies and steal your money to give to the elite. We see today our poster children for truth and freedom. Edward Snowden and Julian Assange. Both well known CIA agents funded and related to the Rothschilds. They are both used to honey pot real whistle blowers and steal your money by creating funds and foundations and telling you they are to support someone who they are exploiting. Because they came forward with truth. This is how it has always worked. Divide and Conquer. They create whatever they need to to continue creating division in us all. They herd us into groups and keep us brain washed and blind. They feed us propaganda that we believe without even thinking because of their mind control.
The truth is not comfortable. But this is all fact. And much more we have written out and exposed to you. There is far more on all religions in our document. Most of their deceptions are created in the same way. A pawn is used as the face of truth or change. A puppet. When the task is done the elite sacrifice them or make them a prophet or saint. Or award winner. Star. The elite play both sides. Always. So. How can we know who is a real truth speaker and fighter for humanity? For starters. We must be diligent. We must watch. And we must act when they step out of line. Like a viper in the sand. We wait for them to step too close. And strike them when they do. We are the ones to keep them in line. The power is ours. They must tell us their plans before they do them. According to the oath. A deeper oath than those we have discussed thus far.
Their patterns can be seen through history and the tribe they are is exposed with much more in our writing so we will continue now with what is happening today.
The Knights of Malta are seen today, known as the Sovereign Military Order of Malta. It represents itself as a charitable organization and works with the UN since 1994 providing hospitals and help to the poor, hungry and with natural disasters. Other branches are called FEMA and Red Cross. They continue pushing the world on the depopulation agenda. What better way than when you are in total control of the health. The food. The medicines. The elite love the sick and poor because they are closer to death which is exactly what they want you to do. Die. That is why Red Cross spreads diseases in their vaccines to experiment on and kill off millions of people every year in the name of charity.
They are deceivers. FEMA is in charge of the death camps that have been used for over one hundred years in America. This should not have to be explained to you or anyone. The amount of exposing videos and documents on these topics is overwhelming. There is no excuse for ignorance.
Still you think the One World Order is not in place. You want to complain and act shocked and amazed when the elite play their games. This is not shocking. This is nothing new. And there is much. Much. More.
End Of Part 2 out of 5.
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“Dope A-F” - 2/25-2/27 - “Thar She Bombs!”
Time to cover a lot of ground in a short amount of time sweet sweet laydees! So let’s hop right into it my sweet little pumpkins!
2/25
I got to Charlottesville a little early for this show. I met up with Colby Knight to grab a burger at Citizen Burger Bar and relax. We talked about his future career in being a pilot, what it’s like to be a comedian going to a super religious school, and all the insanity that comes from going there.
The food was good and then we headed to The Southern. I got there and everything was already set up. Which was dope because I didn’t feel like doing it that night. I go to the bar and get the open mic list started.
Comics start to file in. We end up getting about 26+ comics on the list. I can’t believe how this show has grown. When it started it used to be like 8 to 12 comics a show, and the more experienced comics would be like 10+ minutes to work on their stuff. It’s a give and take. A lot of the time I wish I was getting that amount of time again, and other times I am just loving getting to hang out with 20+ of my friends every week.
A lot of these comics have definitely grown a lot since I met them a year or so ago. They’ve started to go to more open mics since the scene is growing, and also a few of them have started going to Richmond to get on stage more. They’ve also been doing more booked shows, and it is starting to show. They all have a super long way to go, but honestly seeing any type of development in a scene is awesome.
We don't have any drama at this show, but during Chris hosting set this female comic named KB is heckling him. She is trying to have fun, and Chris isn’t being mean to her. He is riffing with he, but he is keeping his cool. This is mainly because he vowed to quit bullying people and not bust balls as much. Which is hilarious because it is what we do. So no more BC (bully Chris) we live in the era of PC (polite Chris). So the running gag all night is I was doing a tally of how many mean things and polite things he was doing. He handles the situation and gets the piggy back show started (this is when the comedian on stage brings up the next comedian and all the host does is work the light).
Everybody is doing ok. Nothing too noticeable or memorable about the first few sets. No one is really bombing, or killing. I am seventh on the show and I have some new that I wanted to work out. The KB lady goes up a couple before me and doesn’t do well at all. It was kind of nice to see someone who was heckling not do well. It was very cathartic to me.
I went up shortly after her and she just spent the first minute sitting in the front row talking loudly. So I used the first minute of my set just addressing it and getting her to pay attention. She eventually does and I go into my new material. Some of it did ok. Like I needed to really work out the wording, which I was able to do with some of it. The big win was I did a joke about a rapist, and that worked the best. I think it’s a good take on it, and doesn’t punch down or mock the victims. So hoping I can work it out and build it into a bigger chunk. I’d give my set a solid C. The response wasn’t what I wanted, but it was definitely one of the more productive sets I’ve had in a while.
I then spent the rest of the night just hanging out and busting balls with my friends. Some people had some good sets though. Paige did well, so did Alex, and Sam Padgett had one of the better sets I’ve heard him have. He has come a long ways, and his work is paying off.
Fun show and a good hang. I grab my stuff, helped clean up, and headed home.
2/26
This was going to be a fun day. The night before I had seen Beau Troxclair and asked if he wanted to get sushi with Alex and I and he said yes. So we show up at Sushi King in Richmond (all you can eat sushi/hibachi place. Great food, reasonable price.)
We get there and we just start gorging ourselves on sushi, fried rice, steak, chicken, shrimp, etc. This is when Beau tells us that he can’t eat sushi, and he is allergic to all fish. Which seems like a thing you should mention before you go to the sushi restaurant. Either way he isn’t worried about it, he wanted to hang, and there is enough non fish on the menu that he will be fine.
As the meal goes on we are having a great conversation about food, comedy, women, improv, and anything in between. We are trying to figure out the order we are trying to do the three open mics that night and Beau starts to get red and swell up. He is like, “yea I think there was cross contamination. I’m going to go get Benadryl.”
So he runs out and Alex and I keep eating. Like 10 minutes goes by and I am starting to worry that Beau died on his way to his car. Right when I mention walking outside to look for him he comes in. He had to walk to a gas station to get Benadryl. The waiter comes over and is like are you ok, and Beau calmly tells him, “I'm just allergic to fish, I probably should have told you that.” The waiters face was great. This was a dope meal.
We go our separate ways for a few hours and then I go pick up Alex and we head to City Dogs. Which will be the first mic we hit of the night. It is usually poorly attended by comics so you can get a longer set. This was not the case tonight. There was a nice little list. There was actually a table of four cville comics who came out (Colby, Abdulla, Keaton Ray, John Marg) I was super stoked and proud to see them.
Ben Braman runs this room and let me know he had me second. I am stoked and ready to get this thing on the road. There is a nice little audience there, but they aren’t there for comedy. They’re standing right next to where we are going to perform and could care less about comedy. Beswick goes up first and goes super high energy while working out new stuff. He basically ends up screaming his closer at the stunned audience members. It was a super fun set to watch.
I go up next and just work on new stuff. I get some laughs from a couple in the front and the comics a little. It is weird to remember that open mics aren’t even about killing at this point. This is work, and that’s what I try to do. I try to work it out. I’d give this a D+ or C-. No real audience response, but I got to try some new stuff. Alex goes next and has a pretty good set as well. His new is good and he is really putting some bows on some great material rn.
We say our goodbyes and head over to Fallout to try and go early over there as well.
We get there and Jesse Jarvis was hosting. He had Alex and I up pretty early. We get a good hang in and the show starts. Beswick has a pretty strong set, and I went up a few after him. I did pretty well here. I’d give it a C. I kept doing new stuff and I dug up an oldie that was on the back burner about the optometrist office. It felt good to bring it back, and try some new things. The people that were there were into it and it felt good. Beau did pretty well and so did Alex. It was definitely a productive mic.
This was the home stretch. It was time to head to Mojos for the last spot. We get there and mic was legit about to end, but he added us just in time. There was almost no one here. Going late at mojos is tough. it is basically just working on wording. I’d give my set a D. I got maybe 2 or 3 laughs and they were in weird spots. It was just me reciting them to a couple of my friends. It was a fun bomb and didn’t even feel bad because I was getting this new done.
I then said goodbye and drove Alex back to his place before heading home. A super fun and productive night full of bombs. Nights like this is what makes you a much better comic. I got 22 minutes of stage time in front of 3 tough crowds. This was invaluable. I don’t think many people other than Alex and I managed to do all 3! Sometimes the grind just feels good.
2/28
I got the call right after work that they needed a host for The Richmond Funny Bone. Even though it was an off night and I was going to do dinner with my family I cancelled because quite frankly I need the money. So I dropped my plans (which I felt like shit about) and headed to meet Dylan Vattelana who let me know about the show in the first place.
I first had to go renew my membership to Costco and order some contacts. I’m glad I have vision insurance, but even with that the cost of contacts is so damn much. Like it is ridiculous what I have to pay to just be able to see. Afterwards I do my fav thing at Costco and buy myself a delicious Churro.
I meet Dylan at Rock Bottom, which is the bar directly above the Funnybone. We talk some business stuff about comedy. Tell a few street jokes, and generally have a super fun time. We talk about some of the very real anxieties I have about the Funny Bone and comedy clubs in general. He gives some good advice, and it means a lot because Dylan is one of the comics I respect the most. When I started about 4 years ago he was already established as one of the best guys in the scene and he has just built on that. He is an excellent writer, and has a drive and determination that I try to match. I love the dude and it is so cool to be able to call him a friend and a peer.
We go downstairs and head to the club. Dylan leaves his notebook and the bartender runs after him. I riff about how ridiculous it would be if he just started acting like she did it to get his number (I have a girlfriend, what are you doing right now?” and then we head inside.
We are greeted by the door guy Wayne and the “voice of the Richmond Funnybone” Buz “with one z”. We shoot the shit and head to the green room until James Lawson gets there. James is a dope local headliner who also gets to go on the road. He always destroys and he has material for everybody. He has always been good to me since I started and I will always appreciate that.
We have a pretty good turnout for a Wednesday. I’d say it was a little over half full so we had about 130+. Which is solid for the middle of the week. They only have 3 servers so people are a little on edge, but overall it looks like it’s going to be a fun night.
I go up first and do some crowd work up top. Which is something I am always scared to do here, because I doubt they want their host to do crowd work. I need to do it more often. It is my greatest asset as a host and I”m dumb when I don’t utilize it. I get some super strong pops up top for my first 5 minutes. Then the mic cuts out during the next couple of minutes and I start to lose them. I then have a lady say my fly is down (which it wasn’t) and that was an awkward situation because I was dumb and didn’t go into her (I didn’t want to set an even weirder tone for the show). I need to follow my instincts. I then closed on my Angel/Devil race joke. It gets an ok reaction and I’d give this set a C-. I did my job and warmed up the crowd, but I had stuck to crowd work I think it would have been even better.
Dylan goes up next and does well, and then after him James absolutely murders for 50+ minutes. He was in his element. He was completely at home and won those people over to a degree I can’t even imagine doing. When someone does that well in a room that makes me so anxious it is inspiring and disheartening at the same time. I can’t picture doing that well. Like legit can not fathom it. After the show I find out I get to host Thursday and Sunday for Cash Levy for sure. This is huge. I need the money and he’s a good comic. I head out and head home to get some other work done. Solid night. I got a check, got to work a club, and got a sweet hang out of it.
That’s it for this installment. I’ll be back tomorrow my sweet apple pies. I’ve got three sets tomorrow and will be zooming all over town. I hope the shows are good, and that I can work out some of this new shit. We shall see. xoxoxo thanks again.
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