#he's slim shady yes the real shady

[keebwee]

@somerandomdudelmao stupid silly fanart for u (he is back !! back again !!!!)

[pilvimarja]

[blueautumngrave]

Peteminem

Photo cred: @emo-ratss

[getodrools]

GOOD AFTERNOON LAVIII !! hwo are ya :3

i might js make an everyday appearance but HEAR ME OUT !! a year ago or so i made a lil joke saying i want toji to fuck me with his gun but like.. what if he actually did > 0 <

just wanted to share that :333 IM SO HUNGRYYY, im cravin pancakes but im pancakeless :( you could he sleeping so if you are i hope ur sleeping well and dreaming of super cute things :D : D TA TAAAA (that’s a fancy bye)

— pearl anon

໒꒰ྀ ྀིᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ*.ﾟ omg gm, i was dreamin’ ! ♡ ‘n i’ve been well, which i hope you've been feeling the same too pearl ! <3 besides the no pancakes disruption ;( ( ! ! but i do hope this feeds ur cravings in some way ??! sob — chocolate pancakes ( >> ) or fruit-based ??

★ ┆ CONFESSIONS .ᐟ ───── TOJI FUSHIGURO ‧

⟣ WARNINGS ‧ MDNI | f! reader | pwp, dub con ( coercion ), gun / fear / and power play, interrogation, degrading, slight praising, squirting, choking / asphyxiation, humiliation, &’ dacryphilia. ᡣ 𐭩 | WC ‧ 1.1K + |

“Tell me where your brother is.” The silencer attached to the sauntering man's gun was cold – at first… The teasing against your ridden hood was no longer enough to set you straight – to spill out any more information he coveted for, solely wreaking a mess out of you; a spill of only silky cum ran down the table he interrogated you on, all shame flowed into a glistening puddle below…

Now the slim, steel barrel between the quaver of your thighs was scolding… “This’ll all end if you just open more than these pretty legs and tell me where my scared little target is. Alright?” And he jams it deep, no hesitation in plugging you up with a loaded gun to the hilt…

Slippery folds spread wide to make room ‘till the invading metal eases in – ramming through your cum-soaked embrace. It hilted in your steaming depths with shocking ease before dragging back with a slight roll; he'd twist at the handle to slide around — left and right, left and right like a q-tip swirling around.

Eyes squeezing tight, “Sir… Please, I told you–” You hiccup, “Told you… I don't know…” You didn't know him, or even knew your brother had a damn hitman chasing him down. Well, it’s a slight explanation as to why he abruptly vanished last week… but you still had no clue of the exact reason!

You didn't know anything!

But you do know, you couldn't risk your brother's life any further. Damnning family loyalty.

The scar lined down the broad man's lips wrinkled stiffly as he frowned, “Where did you see him last goddamnit.” You shake your head, almost a sob falling through feeble lips in response.

Still not good enough. He clicks his tongue.

“Sweetheart,” The mix of gentle words and a pistol shoved up your pussy was… odd, “Before he left, did you at least see him take a scroll?” Raspy voice drawing out slow for you, he tilts his head, “Think real hard f’me, ok?” You barely could muster up words! How in the world could you even remember a stupid piece of paper while a gun is lodged inside you?!

Oh fuck…

Your eyes fill with light, and so does the killers, believing you were about to spew out the truth, “Yeah, yeah, I know that look, tell me.” The only truth spewing out was your cunt reacting vividly to the twisting pole splitting through you.

Another, milky mess splatters at his grey pants and around his gun. Runny with a shimmer – damp and soiled, he soughed as you tremble embarrassingly along the tabletop… Cunt clenching around the working barrel, you cry out; the trepidation, adrenaline, and coerced pleasure from a — truthfully, a hunk of a man was all foreign, shaking a deep rattle in you.

Gasping ‘till the shady room fell silent…

The man's shaggy hair falls with his head, dropping it low with a sigh followed, “It’s just a simple yes or no. Use your words this time, honey.” Patience running eerily low.

Toji had a damn job to do. He was ranked highest in his field of work for a reason. He never cared to show mercy when it came to his money, and that's exactly what his consumers loved. Toji always got the job done one way or the other... Even if working his gun with lethal strokes inside your pussy ‘till you couldn't bare another rumbling high was undoubtedly a way… Anything to get what he needed to get what he wanted.

And before you could reason by catching your breath, your interrogator leans over your feeble body; a stiff leg booted between yours as the other crowded you in on the side. Hovering over you full flush, Toji fills his free hand with your throat, as if he was trying to stifle the very answers out of you.

“I’m giving you one more chance,” Those same words he's said a good handful of times rang through your ears, “Speak up.”

“… I–I…” But the firearm pulling and twisting around your insides was forcing your lips to clamor.

You haven't had room to properly suck in a fresh breath of air in the past three hours…

Verdant eyes scanning your face, so close, you could feel the flutter of his lashes tickle at the stained, wet cheeks that puff out. Welting in tears, you shiver, “I don't… I don't remember…—!” You hear the stiff pistol driving through your silken furrow cock back.

Oh fuck.

“Heh. You really don't now?” Burying all inches of glossy metal inside tight walls, then retracting and slamming down harder, Toji’s grip tightend too, “ ‘Cause I feel like you do. A little birdie told me you even helped him out, huh.” Fuck.

Cum churned with sappy liquids; dragging a translucent milky ring around his suppressor, nothing was going to impede his assignment.

All brisk motions left your gummy insides shivering potently and brain to slosh into a mushy pile… Toji kept at it ‘till you seemed fucked out of your mind. ‘Till you actually couldn't give him any more answers...

<– BACK : PINNED ⊹ ࣪ ˖ NEXT : MORE TOJI –>

[angelsanarchy]

Glass Houses: Jack Thurlow x Y/N Series CH 12 -> CH 13

"I'm kind of terrified of her getting to know the real me." "Hey, the real you might be a pretentious dick but you're not a bad person."

Tagging: @roryculkinluvr @thatsthewrongwallcraig @icarus-star @cc-luvr @madamemaximoff06 @shady-the-simp @quicksilversg1rl @s-0lar @kristennero-wallacewellsver @ophelialaufey @mayathepsychic1999

Jack kept busy moving his laptop and writing journals into his dad's old art studio. He's decided that he needs a separation of where he works and where he sleeps, a recommendation made by Dr. Carty.

He was actually surprised how much more he got written now that he was in a different space of the house. He felt almost like he was channeling some of his father's creativity as he wrote. He had the curtains pulled open and the window crack slightly allowing the breeze into the room. It gave him a since of freedom he hadn't truly felt since being back in the house.

"Bitchface!? Are you up there?" Jack startled hearing Shanda's voice coming up the steps.

"In here ya stupid slut." Jack called out to her, making sure to save and shut his laptop. She came up the stairs an spotted him immediately as he threw his arms open.

"What do you think? Not too bad right?" Jack looked around the room and Shanda nodded.

"It looks great. You look like shit but the house is really coming along." Shanda hugged Jack and could feel how much thinner he was since they last saw one another.

"What are you living on? Slim jims and coffee?" Shanda ran her fingertips under the dark circles of his eyes.

"I'm working on it. I have an appointment with my doc coming up to talk about a medication change. Too many side effects are making it a pain in the ass just getting up in the morning." Jack explained.

"Can you even do that? I mean will that set you back?" Shanda asked curiously.

"Yeah Y/n explained that sometimes you need to find the right cocktail of medication so you don't live a miserable life with a bunch of fucked up side effects." Jack explained

"Well did you want me to stay and keep an eye out while you go through the change?" Shanda asked making Jack laugh.

"I'm mentally ill Shan, not a werewolf. I'll be fine. Y/n checks in almost daily so if I have any issues, she's right down the street." Shanda's eyebrow went up.

"You made a friend?" Shanda smirked.

"Yes I made a friend. Technically she's a neighbor and owns the dog that looks like Rusty but yes we're pretty friendly." Jack couldn't hide his smile and Shanda laughed out loud.

"You're friendly. Friendly like you have a book club or friendly like you 69 in the kitchen?" Shanda was happy to see Jack making progress but she will always worry about him.

"Jesus Christ. Is that the friendship spectrum with lesbians?" Jack teased.

"Hey I just want to make sure I don't eat off the counter where your ass has been." She held her hands up in defense.

"No we aren't fucking. We just...hang out. She mostly brings me food and let's the dog stay when I'm having a bad night. It's been nice.." Jack trailed off and Shanda could tell something was up.

"But?"

"I'm kind of terrified of her getting to know the real me." Jack tucked his hair behind his ears and Shanda shook her head.

"Hey, the real you might be a pretentious dick but you're not a bad person." Shanda defended.

"Jack be serious. Do you really think you're supposed to be stuck in this house all by yourself, writing some manifesto forever alone?" Shanda asked.

"I'm not writing a manifesto." Jack laughed.

"Jack." Shanda's tone was serious.

"I don't know Shan! I just don't want to hurt anyone like I did Cleo. I mean I was going through something but even you've admitted that it was a bastard move. Y/n has a lot going on in her life and I don't want to make it worse." Jack had to admit that the more time he spent talking with Y/n, the more he wondered what she was doing during the day. They texted often and he enjoyed her insight and sense of humor. There was a piece of him that felt like he didn't deserve this feeling. He didn't deserve a second chance to find someone to spend his days with that he truly cared about.

"You did everything you could to try and apologize to Cleo. She may not have reached out or accepted it but she's moved on with her life, Jack. She moved out of your old place, she's got a new boyfriend..." Jack's eyes lit up.

"Really?" Shanda wonders if she said too much.

"Yes and she's happy. You can't keep punishing yourself for what happened in the past. Things could have been so much worse. Your relationship was collateral damage but you shouldn't live the rest of your life miserably because of it. You deserve happiness just like she does." Shanda threw her arm around Jack's neck and he nodded.

"I love you you fluffy haired bitch. Love yourself a little...and let your neighbor suck your dick for a bit." Shanda teased.

"And they say I'm the fucked up one." Jack put his arm around Shanda and she laughed.

"Hey we're all fucked up. I just know how to have fun." Shanda pulled Jack with her out of the room.

"I'm happy you're here. Thanks for always showing up for me." Jack knew this visit was going to be interesting now that she knew he had an infatuation with the neighbor. All he could hope was that it didn't end in disaster.

[corrodedcoffins-blog]

Timeline/Series intro

rockstar!eddie x r&b singer!reader

they meet at the 2000 MTV VMAs

they did know of each other, like eddie knew y/n was a pretty glittery singer

but y/n performs 'Pray You Catch Me' into 'Don't Hurt Yourself' and that gets Eddie's attention

so those songs are about y/n public break up with Eminem one that ended very badly, they had gotten  married in Vegas on a whim, which is never a good idea and as the song says Eminem cheated

also in 'The Real Slim Shady' the Christina Aguilera line is changed to be about y/n

anyway Eddie just can't get her out of his head, and in true Eddie fashion he says so on live TV

Corroded Coffin won Rock Video and when this was announced Eddie didn't hear it, he didn't even know it was their nomination coming up soon, he was 'casually' looking back at the table y/n was sat at

so when he and the band get up to accept the award he takes the mic and says, "Sorry I got distracted by Y/n L/n.. What's this for?-"

so of course they went to the same after party (with much effort from Eddie to make that happen)

eddie tries to flirt with y/n but he's so nervous and he doesn't do his best job and he thinks he kinda blew his shot with her

but that's exactly why she did say yes to going out with him

y/n just finds his awkwardness so adorable and sexy

~taglist~

@angelamariaxo @taylorswiftsloverfr @thepurplelovewitch

[sugdenlovesdingle]

What did you think of John saying, I am not auditioning to be Robert's replacement? I find it interesting that he has no qualms dating his half brother's ex. I mean for someone who doesn't want to get messed up in the Sugden family business, that is pretty f*cked up! And Aaron is lying to himself, obviously. Since there are no signs of Ryan returning, I am guessing this is going to be more than sex. The name Sugden WILL play on his psyche no matter how much he denies it. Canonically, we can't fault him, I suppose. Robert did plead guilty, hand himself in, went no contact and followed through with the divorce. So, Aaron can just say he is over Robert and move on. It HAS been five years. And Aaron made a conscious choice of writing back to Robert during that lockdown episode. But now he seems more in love with Robert than at any time in the last 5 years. Emmerdale's mixed messaging confuses me.

i had a good laugh about that line!

"I'm not Robert's replacement" - said the guy who is pretty much exactly that.

I don't know where they're going with this. I half expect a love triangle with Mack. I mean the "you deserve better" and wanting to spend time with Aaron/complaining to charity about john getting in the way and just generally hating john... it would/could be a good set up. If the writers remembered Mack is not straight.

I think it's just a matter of time before aaron calls john Robert or Rob or "openly" compares him to Robert. And i need Ryan to just get his ass back to emmerdale so he can go "yes dear?" when Aaron calls john Robert.

Will the real slim shady Robert Sugden please stand up?

[heaven-knowss]

My fav artists and what Fear they'd serve

• Everybody knows Hozier is an avatar of The Buried, like look at his album covers....

• William Woodiam is an avatar of The Spiral??? I think??? He just gives me Michael vibes

• Bo Burnham is a difficult one... I just associate him with the guy from the "Monologue" ep, so... The Lonely?

• Grand Commander is reaallyy difficult cause "i hope you die in a fire" is The Desolation but "Fuck you I'm going underground" is The Buried. I think I'll go with The Desolation

• Eminem is The Slaughter cause hes so violent in his songs😭 no but if I am fr I think he's The Stranger bc of the "im slim shady yes im the real shady all you other slim shadys are just imitating" line.... Do you see my vision...

• Alt-J is The Vast purely because of the vibes of the An Awesome Wave album ...

• Yaelokre is The Eye bc of its Storyteller Character! The whole lore is based on telling stories and that stuff feeds the Eye... the only based opinion in this whole thing

• Alex G is The Stranger, or rather he is more of a person that meets an awful amount of avatars of The Stranger? Like youre telling me Mary and Sarah are human...

[rosslynchsslut]

Who's Your Daddy (C.S) PT.1

Summary: Chris gets jealous of how sweet you are to his brothers

A/N: in this, you are always like this to Matt and nick and usually he has no problems, he was just extra moody today.

WARNING: This is a smut, minors DNI

smut smut smut, dom!chris pet names obviously, sub!fem reader, rough sex, slapping, light choking, hair pulling, spiting, spanking, degradation, overstim, edging, the whole thing love y'all

"Y/N! Can you just go preheat the fucking oven!" Nick half screamed, half giggled while he wrestled Matt for the pink rubber spatula to mix the cake batter.

"Nick! Yes I fucking can!" Y/N laughed out matching Nick's energy, easily taking the spatula from both of the boys and handing it to the older. Matt protested that he hadn't gotten a chance to mix the cake batter yet and Nick laughed in his obnoxious "who-the-fuck-cares" way. Matt laughed louder in his face, a mocking manner and dodged the punch from Nick that was weakly thrown in his direction. Chris was standing off to the side nearly out of the cameras frame, arms crossed, eyebrows knit, and jaw tense (future edit material, no doubt). He was obviously upset about something, but no one quite knew what. Nick realized Chris's distance and made an attempt to half cheer him up and get him nearer to the camera for the viewers.

"Chris, get in the camera frame! They can't see you, idiot." Nick yelled a smile splayed on his face, grabbing Chris's arm and pulling him closer into the kitchen. Chris snatched his arm back away from his brother and gave a nasty glare his direction.

"Dude, don't fucking touch me!"

"Jesus, okay!" Nick yelled, pulling his hand back from his brother. "Fucking word, kid," Nick mumbled picking the spatula back up and stirring the cake batter. The action from Nick pissed Chris off further, so he lets out a groan and leans against the fridge, arms till crossed across his chest.

"What is your problem, dude?" Matt questions about Chris's acting up, giggling as Y/N took the hat off of his head and put it on her own backward. She runs a little distance from Matt, both of them laughing as he attempts to snatch his red hat back. Y/N then makes a fist in front of her mouth and play-raps an Eminem song, bending her knees to begin moving up and down.

"Slim Shady fucking who?" Nick yells, cheering on her behaviour while Matt laughs and pushes the hat further on her head to cover her eyes. Chris was grinding his teeth so hard, he was certain to break the entire set as he watched his brothers goof around with his girlfriend. But the last and final straw was when Matt lifted Y/N, HIS girlfriend, up and paraded her around the kitchen while they all sang "The Real Slim Shady". Matt was holding HIS girlfriend, she was in MATT'S hat, and the both Chris and Matt had hard-ons.

"Fuck this." Chris mumbled and left the kitchen and stormed to his room.

"Chris!" The three of them called after Chris as he closed his door slamming it, not even caring that they were still on camera. He heard his two brothers telling their viewers "Chris was tired" and the three of them continued to laugh and enjoy each other's presence.

~l a t e r~

Y/N gently knocked at Chris's door, and let herself in. Chris was lying on his stomach, staring at the wall with twitching eyebrows. Still obviously pissed at the fiasco in the kitchen.

"Hey, baby." Y/N said softly, climbing into the bed next to her boyfriend. She laid down and looked at the back of his head, hands finding a place on the expanse of his back. He didn't say anything, so she decided to speak up. "I'm sorry if we- I upset you, baby. I was just fucking around, babe. You know that I'm close with them like." that. She said in a soft voice, placing a chaste kiss on his shoulder. "You used to like that about me." Chris swiftly turned to face her, so close their noses touched. He gripped her jaw and spoke harshly.

"Fucking around was not what you were doing, you saw Matt's boner." Y/N opened her mouth but Chris cut her off sharply, "Don't fucking lie, Y/N/N." His voice was quiet but threatening as the fingers of his free hand ran up to the sides of her arm, leaving goosebumps in their wake. He smirked at the effect it had on his girlfriend, he loved that he could so easily make her wet and bothered by the simplest touch.

"I am really sorry, baby." Y/N, desperate and needy, leaned forward and placed a kiss on his lips, hands going to rest on his shoulders. Chris wasn't having the apology, though. He abruptly pulled away and glared at Y/N. "Fuck sorry, you're gonna have to show me you really mean it." Chris rose from the bed, stripping himself of his shirt. "Take it all off, baby." Chris said as he reseated himself at the edge of the bed. Slowly, she began to strip, shivering a the cold air hitting her chest, nipples becoming perky. She then, circling around to the front of the bed where Chris was sitting, sat on the floor in front of him. Chris wrapped his hand in her soft hair playing with the strands, lightly tugging, earing himself soft whimpers from his girlfriend. "You've been such a bad fucking girl, huh baby?" Y/N smiled up at him and placed her hands on his thighs. Nails running up and down as she lightly scratched in the way she knew her boyfriend went feral for. "Stop." Chris's voice was stern, as he gave a harsh tug to Y/N's hair.

"Hmmph," she whined out at the sting in her scalp.

"Did I say you could fucking touch me, pretty? Hmm?" She shook her head, and he scoffed releasing her hair. "Lay on my lap, baby. Ass up." Y/N did as she was told, adrenaline and nerves coursing through her body fueling the wetness in her panties. "Wanna be a bad girl so bad, huh?" Chris chuckled darkly, slowly sliding you sweatpants and panties down you legs. His large, warm hands ran over her smooth ass, squeezing the flesh occasionally. "Wanna be a brat?" He asked a meaningless question, his hand coming down on Y/N's ass cheek harshly. The slap practically echoing through the quiet room.

"Ahh," a moan flying from Y/N's lips that was a result of the beautiful pleasure/pain sensation.

"God," slap "You're a fucking" slap "Slut, huh?" Slap, slap. "Right baby?" The room was filled with her pathetic whines and cries as Chris continued to dish out her punishment. "Wanna fuck around with Matt huh? I bet you wanted to fuck him so bad." Chris's voice was cruel and unforgiving as his hand repeatedly came down on your ass. He rubbed you, soothing the growing pain for only a little bit. "Who's your daddy? Huh, pretty?" A choked sob fell from his girlfriend, an answer he wasn't satisfied with. "I asked you a goddamn. Question. Y/N." His slaps came down harder than before, causing Y/N to squirm and yell. "Who's your daddy?"

"You! You!" Tears welled up in her eyes, the pain almost too much.

"Yeah? Huh?" Chris egged on, her cries stroking his ego (and his dick).

"you, daddy! F-fuck! Only you!" She screamed out, her ass red from the constant abuse it was receiving. Chris's hand stroked over her sore bare ass, trying to subside the pain he knew she loved.

"Yeah, s'right. Now, get ready because I'm not near down with you, pretty."

[1shadowhole]

Hello beautiful people! A little PSA!

Just wanna let y'all know that this isn't me. See? The name got 2 D's in it. I only have one D in me

Wait...

ANYWAY

And that, of course, @a-star-is-here isn't the one sending the weird anons. She is lovely and amazing, and this person is just mad at them as well.

If you would like, it would be a huge favour if you reported @1shaddowhole for spam and impersonation, as their previous accounts already got banned and he is just making more. So let's get more banned! Let's make a game out of it.

As for you. I know. I know. You love me so much that you wanted to impersonate me. Your fanblog is appreciated, but sadly, there can only be one me. (cuz I'm slim shady yes I'm the real shady all the other slim shadies are just imitating)

So begone thot. Go away. I'm a man of God

And most importantly: the most horrible crime of them all:

ART THEFT!!!

You dare use my own art? Despicable.

[phantomphangphucker]

Phic Phight - The Bone-Stick Breaker

@46-reasonable-hamsters

Make no BONES about it, there’s a lot of GLOWING remarks in here. A real ILLUMINATING read, that’s positive to leave your eyes SHINING with laughter (and-also-maybe-a-little-bit-of-concern-about-the-authors-mental-state).

Should this be concerning? yeah.

Was it incredibly weird? Yup.

Would any reasonable person be incredibly disturbed right now? YES.

Does Danny need therapy? ABSOLUTELY.

Why you ask?

Oh only because Danny is glowing through the motions of systematically attempting to break every single bone in his entire body one by one, nothing too wild.

Just a little mild self torture is all.

It’s no big deal.

It’s definitely not a sign of a severely unstable psyche, no matter what anyone -Jazz- says.

It’s fun.

That’s a lie.

Well at least it’s Educational.

eh-juh-kay-shuh-nuhl.

Yay! Points for him! And points for another broken bone! A glow-in-the-dark star sticker!

That’s one more rib down!

He’s okay.

Everything is FINE.

It’s not like his boney woney’s are filled with glow-stick juice or anything.

Okay that’s exactly what it is.

He’s a little glowy broken boy.

A bone beater boy.

A real boner if you will.

That was a really dumb joke but he absolutely does not apologize. Just like this is a really dumb plan but he’s not apologising for this either.

Even if his teeth did count as bones and he did attempt to Slap Chop™ one to see what would happen and maybe accidentally sent a chunk flying into the soup pot.

At least he confirmed that yes, his teeth glowed when ‘snapped’, or Slap Chopped™, too.

He’s positive he is absolutely making Technus regret breaking his leg the day before yesterday’s morning, leading to his glowing discovery; all the ghosts were giving positively glowing reviews.

Meaning some were casually cheering the chaos and suffering, and others were begging him to ‘please stop’ and ‘spare us’ and ‘no don’t stab us with your bones! Why do you have bones!’.

But Danny had bones.

Ho boy did he ever have bones.

Bones to pick with everyone that is! Ha!

He’s got this glow stick party going and it’s utterly illuminating the night. Really lighting it up. Giving it a good ol’ spit shine. Absolutely brightening up everyone’s nightmares.

He should start a rave.

A bone glow stick rave.

It would be a bone cracking good time.

Maybe he could liquify some bones, hope they still be shiny, and make a motherfuckin’ proper glowing jello pit. He could use it to try and make people see the light at the end of the tunnel and then all the high people would make a bunch of giggle-watts!

Plus!

Everyone would definitely pay for that!

You know, since he’s not shady!

He is slim though, slim and slime. An ecto-green lime crime, since he be leaving random bones bits around.

The cops must be having a fright over all his nightlights.

He kept ignoring their questioning though, gotta keep the conversations light after all.

Let him be a funky little bean, copper man!

ACAB!

WHOOOOO!

If it was Christmas time he’d replace the city hall Christmas trees star with a bone star. Like a rock star but more him flavoured and more likely to sound like ominous crunching sounds and unholy screams. The kind that would get him basked in holy light out of sheer concern.

Eh. Danny’d still shine brighter.

After all he’s broken a-hundred-and-ninety-two bones, how many bones have those angels broken?

Probably none.

So there.

He’s the winner! Go him! Chicken bone dinner!

Fear the glowing Bone-Stick that is he!

Like a boom stick, except what gets shot and boomed everywhere is BONES!

A real glow up he says, especially since he’s waaaaaaaay brighter.

And then Val has the gaul to catch him in an ecto-net, point at him, and tells him to ‘stop this you menace’ and how ‘seventeen people have vomited because of this crap’ and ‘why is this your response when Tucker cuts off your caffeine supply’.

Which, rude.

Either he got his life blood or they got his bone blood!

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! BONES FOR THE BONE THRONE!

Val tasered him into unconsciousness for that one and Tuck dumped exactly one hundred and ninety eight bags of coffee beans on him.

…

But he made it to two-hundred-and-one on his first try? That’s more bones than what’s in one entire hamster! Doesn’t he deserve better pickings for his lickings?

Should he aim for forty-six hamsters next time? Really shoot for the stars and glow amongst them!

He must acquire more bones! Grow them from the ectoplasmic ether!

For the first time in a long time Tuck punches him.

Do they not understand?

Do they not know?!?

That this only causes the rumblies that only broken bones can satisfy to grow!

He will feast on his complete breaks and be one with THE NIGHT IN UN-DIMMABLE RADIANCE!

Shine bright like a bone diamond!

And be better at hide and glow seek!

But first.

Coffee.

Then after.

Only after.

The Bone-Stick Breaker shall return once more upon this mortal domain!

And with him!

UNENDING GLOW STICK BRIGHTERY!

End.

Prompt: Danny breaks a bone in ghost form for the first time, and discovers that his bones function similarly to glow sticks

[starseneyes]

Chenford REWIND- Lucy Chen / Tim Bradford - The Rookie - Season 4 Ep 8 & 9

I'm LOVING y'all's requests. Please keep 'em coming! The second I saw chenfordfan2386 request these two, I knew it had to be done. I'm a huge Peyton List fan, and I love episodes that dive deeper into our favorite characters.

SPOILER ALERT: If you like to live an un-spoiled life, this is not the post for you. I try to write these as though I'm seeing them for the first time, and will definitely spoil these episodes and include references to episodes previously aired.

Everybody ready and know what to expect? Great! Let's dive in.

Hit and Run

"I'm losing to Smitty?" "Oh, that's embarrassing."

I love how Tim is commenting on this discussion even as he's pretending not to be a part of it. Lucy looks up at him, a smile on her face like, "you're hopeless".

"You know what would really help? An endorsement from someone who is respected within the department."

Tim looks to Nolan, incredulous. But watch how his face shifts when he looks to Lucy. There's a subtle shift as she leans closer to him, trying to get him to give in.

"No. No. Don't drag me into this. No. I have never endorsed a candidate, and I never will."

Small detail, but I love it. Tim reaches for Lucy's camera first. He hands it to her before getting his own.

"Genny!" "Sergeant Bradford."

As soon as Genny approaches and hugs Tim, Lucy gets out of the way. She has no idea who this woman is, but Genny is making Tim smile and getting physical affection without hesitation. She has to be important to him, right?

"So, what are you doing here?" "I just wanted to see my big brother."

Look at the shift in Lucy Chen with this information! This isn't Tim's new gorgeous girlfriend he's never mentioned. It's his little sister!

"Oh! Hi! I'm Lucy Chen. I know that we just met but if you have any embarrassing stories from his childhood that would be..."

Tim gives a nice glare at Lucy and she shuts up... for now. C'mon, you know Lucy is gonna get that dirt!

"Because I know why you're here, and I've made my position very clear."

Take note, here, that Tim is speaking cryptically. Because, this is a tie back to the worst part of his life, the most broken parts of himself, and the source of so much of his trauma.

Lucy doesn't know how bad it was. Yes, after DOD he opened up enough to tell Lucy that his father "tuned [him] up on the regular"... but that didn't paint the whole picture.

And having his little sister here is going to re-open all those wounds that nobody, save maybe Isabelle, has ever seen.

This tops everything that ever went wrong with her. This is the foundational heartache that defined so much of Tim and how he lives his life. This is the place his nightmares were born and his need for stability and to protect his heart.

But, I'm getting ahead of myself.

"Why don't I do one of those ride along thingees? That way, we could have the whole day to catch up." "Yeah, see, you gotta get permission to do a ride along. It's a long process. A ton of paperwork." "Hey, you're a Sergeant, now, you can just approve it yourself."

Lucy knew what she was doing. Does she know exactly what will be discussed? No. But she can see that Tim's avoiding something he needs to face, and the psychology girl in her can't ignore it.

"Did Tim have any nicknames when he was a kid?"

I love Genny's look to Tim on this one. Like, "Is this person for real?"

"Oh, yeah, he tried to highlight his hair right before Prom. He ended up looking like Slim Shady."

I. Love. Lucy's. Positioning. She is literally turned completely toward him, this goofy grin on her face, drinking every second in.

There's a freedom in how she's talking with Genny, how she's watching Tim, and I think about later in the episode when she finds out he's not single... and how I'm glad she didn't know before this scene.

Because look at how happy she is. She's loving every little morsel, learning more about Tim. Yes, she's out for the embarrassing stuff, right now. But, don't you love even the silly facts you learn about the person you love?

"Oh, you know what, I think I have a picture of it." "Oh my god, yes!" "Genny." "What? You'd rather I keep this photo private? That's fine. Let's talk about Dad." "I have nothing to say."

He tries to catch eyes with his sister in the rearview mirror. He's still talking in short-code, not wanting to go further. While Genny knows all the details, of course, he isn't ready to be that vulnerable with Lucy, especially now that he's seeing someone.

Go with me... have you ever had a friend who kinda served as a placeholder for something romantic? I had a gay friend like that back in high school. We were super close and people thought we were dating, but neither of us had any interest in each other. We just did all the couply things together because neither of us had a person.

Lucy once realized she was doing it with Jackson, and I think after the events of 4x01, Tim realizes he was starting to do it with Lucy. Let's be real, he's been doing those things forever with Lucy. But, I think he started to notice and it scared the shit out of him.

His ex-wife was a Rookie with him. They were both officers. She was UC. And there are too many similarities there even if Lucy is a completely different person from Isabelle.

I firmly believe part of why Tim is seeing someone nobody knows about is because he wants to date someone separate from the station to convince himself that he can.

He needs to convince himself that there's nothing between him and Lucy, because he is in no way ready to face it.

So, of course he doesn't want to let Lucy into his heart and personal life further. He wants to keep her where he is since some part of him knows he can never push her back to where she was before the veils started to fall.

"Okay. What's your cell phone number? I'll text it to you." "Genny-"

Lucy is all smiles. Because she still doesn't get it. Lucy might've forgotten Tim's one sentence about his father post-DOD (for goodness sake, that scene had a lot going on). She was in a fragile mental state, and after Tim returned her ring, I wouldn't blame her if she forgot 90% of what he said.

"You are impossible." "I'm impossible? Lucy, who's more difficult? Me or Tim?" "Of course she's gonna pick me."

I cackled so hard the first time I heard this line that I had to rewind for the rest of the scene. How Melissa O'Neil kept a straight face is beyond me, but it makes it all the funnier.

"Because you are the most stubborn person alive. Which, by the way, is why you're still single." "First of all, I'm not. And second-" "Wait. What? You're seeing someone?" "This is insane. There's an armed and dangerous suspect at large. We gotta focus."

How long has he been riding with Lucy and said nothing about this chick? Now, we all know Tim likes to pretend that there's no personal business in that Shop, but this episode proves that particular rules is constantly in flux.

Lucy was doing a good job at staying out of the sibling fight and concentrating on her work... until she heard Tim wasn't single. He redirects and she holds up her hand. The wife equivalent of, "Alright, we've had this fight before, no point having it, again. I got it."

But Tim slides a look back at Lucy. He didn't meant to say anything about his new girlfriend in front of Lucy, but he's so comfortable with her, he forgot himself.

That's what it really boils down to. If it had been almost anyone else in the Shop, he wouldn't have been that transparent.

But he's comfortable enough around Lucy to say things without thought. And the last thing he wants to do right now is let her in more.

"What is your favorite show? Mine is House Hunters International." "Oh my god, the best."

Can we just take a moment to appreciate these future sisters-in-law bonding? Lucy and Genny definitely understand one another, and I have a feeling their kids are gonna grow up together with sleepovers, movie nights, and fun DIY projects. What? A gal can dream, right?

"Maybe I should just let it go, but that house was my childhood home. I don't wanna tear it down. I want another family to live there and make happy memories." "Of course! I moved out ten years ago, and when I think of home, I still think of my parents house."

Lucy is being conversational and compassionate. But she doesn't understand. Tim can't take anymore, and he pulls over.

Watch. Tim's. Hand. Eric Winter is an actor who acts all the way through his fingers and his toes. And you can really see it here with how his hand is suddenly unsteady on the wheel.

Because "home" is a hard word for someone who grew up in an unstable one. Genny was more shielded from it, even though she grew up around it. When you're the target of the anger and frustration... it's just different.

You think of the "house" and know it was never a "home". Not for you. Not for Tim. Tim grew up in a house. "Home" denotes a certain level of safety that was never afforded him.

No, he can't take another minute of this. He can't pretend that he's not mentally back there—just a helpless kid who did nothing to deserve what happened.

"What's wrong?" "Tim? Look, I know you don't feel the same way I do, but our childhood wasn't all bad."

Gosh. It's like talking to my little brother. I'm Tim and he's Genny, and the younger one was somehow so shielded despite growing up in the same house. There are legit tears in my eyes, because it's so darn hard. If not for my journals I kept religiously, I might question my own memory when talking to him.

"Stop. Alright? Are you really getting nostalgic over that place? What do you want? Some other family to just cuddle up under the broken plaster where dad slammed my head against the wall?"

We finally see Lucy, again. She's been cut out of this since they pulled over. But, we get to see her react. Because now she gets it.

There's so much for her to unpack, here about how this informs who Tim is, why he makes the choices he does, and how he's gotten so broken over the years. He didn't have a great foundation.

"Dad had a lot of demons." "Dad was a monster." "He's changed. You haven't seen him in 20 years." "The only thing that's changed is that the drinking caught up with him. He can't throw a punch, but he's the same guy underneath." "He's not, and you'd know that if you'd visit the hospice." "Not in a million years."

Tim hasn't glanced at Lucy once during this. It's not about her. But, in an indirect way, this shows, again, how close they are.

He's not censoring himself in front of Lucy. He's speaking freely about something very personal. Later he might re-think it, but in the moment he's comfortable enough for this scene to happen.

"Hospice?" "I had to move him out of Assisted Living last month. Dad's dying."

Hospice care in America is usually the end of the line. No chance of recovery. Make you comfortable until you pass.

And there's nothing anyone else can say at that moment. Tim's barely keeping it together, and it's been a long time since we've seen him this broken in the Shop.

But it really can work that way. One word. One memory. One reference that throws you back into the worst of it all. And suddenly, all the emotions you felt then but weren't allowed to show flood you to the point that you're barely containing yourself, and it was all so long ago you'd think the wounds had healed.

Tim needs to get his head back in the game. So, he wordlessly pulls back into traffic.

"When you were 7 years old he dropped you in Griffith Park with a compass and made you find your way home." "Which I did." "Tim Test."

How fast he looked at her. Lucy catches his glance and realizes how it hit. She didn't mean it to, but it hurt. Because that comparison to the person you want least to be like is agony... even if the words weren't intended to burn. They sear into your flesh and you start to re-examine yourself to see if there's a trace of them there.

You share the same DNA, but that doesn't mean you're the same. Your choices define you, and you have to believe that you can break cycles or else you'll break apart.

Lucy just equated Tim to his father. She didn't mean anything by it, but the barely breathed, passing thought is imprinted in Tim's memory, now.

"Uh, Tim, listen... your sister needs you." "Lucy-" "I realize that I'm overstepping here, but just hear me out. It's clear that you got the worst of it with your father, but she lived through it with you. Instead of arguing about how bad your dad was or wasn't, maybe as children of... of abuse, you would be better off supporting each other."

The way he looks away on "abuse" reminds me of how he reacted when she said he had a learning disability. These are not things Tim likes to think about or face. But Lucy has never seen them as a branding on his life, merely parts of who he is.

She doesn't label him to ostracize him or set him apart. She tries to help him understand how these things exist within him, but don't define him.

And, oh, my little brother was such a pill growing up. Such a pill. But he was also the first person to ever say I didn't deserve the verbal and emotional abuse I received. He was only 13, but it meant the bloody world. I was 17, and I truly believed I got what I deserved. I wish I'd never lived through it, but I'm infinitely thankful for my brother so I didn't have to go through it alone.

"Ready to go?" "Yeah."

Lucy wordlessly gets out of the way of the siblings, but Tim can't take his eyes off of her, and Genny noticed.

Come on. She's his little sister. Much as he said he wasn't single and has somebody, she has already clocked that there's something between these two.

"Look, I'm really sorry about today. I should have listened more." "I agree. But thanks for saying it. It means a lot." "I'm still not going to see him."

Tim put up a boundary, and that's healthy. It's so hard to set boundaries, sometimes, and I really do applaud Tim that he set his. He owes his father nothing. And much as Genny doesn't agree with it, she needs to learn to respect it.

Sure, Tim could benefit from some therapy and really processing through his trauma. Genny's not wrong in that. But Tim's not going to go unless Tim is willing to go, and berating him is no way to get through to him.

"If you're free this weekend, maybe we could go by the place, see what needs to be done, and you can give us an estimate." "Did you just say 'we'? As in you're gonna help?" "I checked out some comps in the neighborhood. We could get a million for that place easy. Plus, it shouldn't all fall on you."

I think it's marvelous that before Lucy told him to be there for his sister, he was already looking at comps. He was already thinking about it.

Lucy, in this case, echoed the best parts of Tim. Sometimes she helps him find those better parts. But, he's learning, again, how to listen to them on his own.

That's so much progress for his character. And it's so beautiful to watch him blossom.

"Could I have everyone's attention, please? I would like to formally give my endorsement for Union Rep to a man who has the backs of every officer in this station, John Nolan."

Did. You. See. Lucy!? As Nolan moves through the crowd hand-shaking, Lucy cocks her head at Tim. Tim cocks his head back.

Because she's proud of him. He just did something he's never done, that he said he'd never do, because he knew it was the right thing. Smitty would run the whole thing into the ground.

Tim took action to help the entire station, and he's opening himself up just a little more to the people around him.

And Lucy is such a huge part of that. She always will be. But... that's a story for another Meta.

Breakdown

AKA "The One Where I Cry The Whole Time"

"Well, Nolan says an open-concept sells better-."

Excuse me... I gotta cut you off right there because... Lucy Chen is in your childhood house? Lucy Chen is helping you with Demo? Lucy Chen is here instead of the person you're dating?

Tim... and I say this with all love... what the hell? You invited your coworker to come help you with this and thought we'd, what, not notice!? Your sister must be standing there thinking, "My big brother is in denial!"

"Do you remember how Mom used to make us pose by the window for every formal dance?" "Oh my gosh, my Mom did that, too. And I always had to have a wrist corsage." "Yes! Why was that ever a thing?"

Tim. Are you seeing this, Tim? This is sister-in-law energy. Clearly, you need to throw that lifeguard chick back to the ocean because the woman you're going to marry is right here... And you're the one who invited her.

"No. No more reminiscing. This is about fixing up the house and selling it." "Wait. Wait. Wait. Hold on. I mean, you guys are ending a huge chapter in your lives. You guys need closure." *Tim turns on the tool* "What?" "I said you need closure." "What?" "You're an idiot."

Huge. Married. Energy. Like, my husband and I do stupid stuff like this. And Genny is right there.

Also, let's talk about how far Tim and Lucy have come. Yes, Lucy has always stood up to Tim when he needed it. But this is downright flirty. Like, this is Girlfriend talk, not Sergeant's Aide talk.

"You guys are so lucky. I begged my Mom and Dad to have a sibling. They got me a turtle. Uh, it was cute, but a little smelly." "Cute and smelly pretty much sums up Tim's teenage years. You didn't miss much." "Wow. And to think I was actually excited when they brought you home from the hospital."

I love how freely Tim speaks to his sister in front of Lucy. Think about Season 1 Tim. He would never. But the fortified walls that once separated them have all come down. Thin veils are all that remains.

"What is it?" "There's something in the wall." "Oh, is it my Malibu Barbie? It's worth a lot, now." "No, it's metal... What the hell is a gun doing in our wall?"

This isn't Chenford, but it's so important to the story, and it makes me think of the previous episode when Tim talked about his Dad breaking the plaster with Tim's head... Looks like good ole Dad did a lot of repairs, so as kids, Genny and Tim wouldn't have even thought it strange. It was part of the cycle of abuse.

"We need to run ballistics." *aggressive head nodding from Tim* "Wait, you don't actually think it was used in a crime?" "It's our job to find out."

Tim looks to Lucy on this one. It's not hard for him to imagine his father the villain. He is too distracted by this weapon to think of anything else. Because thinking of Dad brings back up all those things he's tried to shove down and not face.

"Look, we'll be back as soon as we can." "But it's your day off. You said you'd help." "It won't take long. Come on, Chen."

Tim's in work-mode. But let's not pretend he's completely objective. Some part of him needs to know where this gun came from... to know if the Monster who raised him is even more of a Monster. Could there finally be some punishment for all the horrible things he's done?

But Genny's frustrated. She doesn't understand this part of Tim, and she's frustrated because for the last 20 years, Dad has been her responsibility.

She's been the one dealing with his medical care, with moving him from facility to facility, with visiting him and trying to be a caring daughter, all while not even living in LA.

They're not communicating. And they can't see this from the same viewpoint because though they grew up in the same house, they have different childhoods.

You might think, "that's impossible", but it's true. Some parents play favorites. Some parents dole out all the abuse on one child. Some parents are negligent toward one child and not the other.

It's very possible to grow up in seemingly the same environment and have completely different experiences. That's Tim and Genny. But she's tired of carrying the burden, and he's blind to his emotions clouding his vision.

"I knew you'd find some excuse to leave." "Genny. This is serious." "It's fine. Go."

Tim takes the out, but Lucy can feel the tension, and she's trying to mediate between her husband and sister-in-law.

"She's got a point. You could have called someone to handle this. You still can." "A good Sergeant doesn't create work for his officers. Even on his day off." "And it's not at all about the emotions this house is stirring up?" "It's just a house."

Because even Tim Bradford "Supercop" has blind spots. We see it in 5x12 (and, yes, that's all I'm saying on it) and we see it here. There are times when Tim can't be objective—and I'm so thankful Lucy Chen is there to keep him in check today.

"Ballistics came back on the gun we found in the wall." "That was fast." "Yeah, I mean, I had to buy a case of Girl Scout cookies from Derek's kid. You're welcome."

Married. We've seen Tim pull strings for Lucy, before, getting calls sent to him to help her with her checklist, and whatnot. Now, we see Lucy spending her own money to help rush ballistics on the weapon.

There's no guarantee that rushing ballistics would have gotten them back to Genny sooner. No, this is about getting Tim the answers he needs as fast as possible.

"Monica is not a solid alibi. They were having an affair. My mom didn't know, but I did."

Tim was 14. Just a kid. But he was protecting his mom. We had a babysitter, once, who left us outside a bar while they went in and got drinks. We had another who had a physical altercation with her husband in front of us and yanked us out of bed, riding through the night until we found a safe place to crash.

I distracted my little brother so he didn't realize what was going on. I didn't tell my Mom. I knew she had such a hard time finding babysitters with her hours, and we didn't want to add to her burdens.

It sucks being a kid who has to think like an adult. And that was Tim.

"Wait, wait, wait. You're going to question your father's mistress? ... You can't be the one to question her. We need to do this right."

Tim's objectivity is skewed, here, and Lucy can see it. Also, can we talk about how many times Lucy uses "we" in this episode? The gun "we" found. "We" need to do this right. She's using an awful lot of inclusive language, which is better for getting through to Tim, but also really telling. Even on their day off, they're a unit.

"You do it."

Tim points to her in a "you're right" movement, then hands over the case file. And can we just talk about the trust that these two have built up over the years?

Tim was her TO and he came down hard on every little mistake she made. Now, he has full trust in her abilities, including handling the most personal case that's ever come their way.

Tim Watches. Lucy Looks Back.

She knows he's behind her, watching everything. He's separated from it by the glass, but still there. And when his father's mistress rises to leave, Lucy casts a glance back at him.

Lucy's smart enough to know he's headed for the hallway, and she know his objectivity is nonexistent.

"Tim?"

It's likely been 20 years since she saw him. He was just a kid the last time they saw one another. And since he's in plainclothes, she has no idea if he's here because of his family or because he's a cop.

And I think it's so heartbreaking and tragic that Tim would face one of the hardest cases of his career personally without wearing the security of his uniform. We know he always has his badge on him, but this is different.

For so long, Tim has used his identity as a cop as his center. He doesn't have that protection today. He's a man... once a boy... hurting.

"She's covering for him." "Maybe, but we can't prove it."

There's that inclusive language, again. Lucy is letting Tim know that she's on his side, that he isn't alone, that they're together on this. For so long, Tim has operated as a lone wolf. He blocks out help, even from those who care about him.

But Lucy's here to let him know that he isn't alone. And she can only hope her message is getting through.

"Oh, man. Never thought I'd see your face, again."

No "My boy". No "I missed you". In his opening greeting, we get a stark look at what kind of man this is. We've had Tim and Genny's perspectives, sure. But, now we get to see the man for ourselves.

"Wow. Liver really did a number on you, old man."

Tim's distancing himself. He's protecting himself by trying not to think of this man as his father. Sure, lots of people say, "My old man" but it's not the same as "Dad" or "Daddy" or even "Papa".

When I first met my father, I called him by his first name. It took a while before I was ready to call him "Daddy". There's something sacred about that name... something Tim never had in a father.

"You always seem to have someone looking after you, even when you don't deserve it."

Oh, Tim. Because if you look back at Tim's life, he never seems to think that he deserves it. His friends try to be there for him, and he shirks from it. He pulls back. He shifts away.

"Because I saw you two together when I was 13." "Oh, crap." "For some reason that I still don't understand, I lied to Mom. I lied for you."

Because... he's still your father. And I totally get this. I totally understand that part of you that loves the person who's abusing you. That part of you that wants what you don't have and you half-wish that you can make them the parent you need.

You'll do anything for them because you think maybe if you do enough, they'll actually love you. They'll actually want you. They'll stop hurting you. You can have that relationship you always wanted. It's that hope that hurts so horribly because it's never enough.

Tim has tears in his eyes. He's facing the monster to try to get to the truth, because some part of him needs the answer. And if his hunch is right, he can finally see his father face judgment for something.

"Poor little Tim-Tim. What are you bitching about? You kept your mouth shut. You did good. Now, get over it."

"Good"? GOOD!?! You fucking psychopath of a human being. No wonder Tim ran as far as he could.

But, oh, I get this, too. Watching them do something you know is wrong and them expecting you to cover for them. They expect it. And anything less is betrayal.

"And so what if I did?"

Tim's father takes out his oxygen and stands. Watch how Tim braces himself when he does. He's ready for the punch.

"Get back in bed." "Make me."

He's asking for a fight—to prove that his son is no different than he is. Inviting him to take the first swing, to prove that he's a "man" in his father's eyes. But Tim looks away.

Little Tim would never have punched back. And adult Tim wants to be nothing like the man before him.

His father misses the complexity of that moment. He sees only a victory.

"Yeah. That's what I thought."

This line hit me really hard, but not for the reasons you might think.

See, as much as we fight to distance ourselves from those people... they still raised us. We still have them in us. It's a choice every day to be a different person and write a better life.

And the phrasing here sounds like Tim. Tim has a tendency to use "Yeah" as a singular statement and follow it up with another. His father is a part of him.

But that doesn't define Tim. Because every day, Tim has made the decision to be a better man in spite of the one who raised him.

"I brought Monica Ochoa back in." "Why? Because I knew there was more to her story. You couldn't see past the version that you wanted to see." "What'd she say?"

Lucy has always had Tim's back. But I also love that all it took for Tim to listen to Lucy was for her to tell him he was wrong.

There have been times she has called him out (so many times) that he didn't want to hear it. But he and Lucy have come so far.

"You brought me a present." "Think of it more as a push."

Oooooh, the shade. There's a show called Resident Alien, and when the main guy met the main girl's awful mother, he left her with "Smoke more" as a farewell. Same vibe, here.

Tim is letting his father know that, no, he won't end him. But he's not afraid to escort him to the end.

"Monica confessed." "Leave her out of this." "Frank was beating her. She fought back. She shot him. She was terrified, so she ran to you. You came up with the burglary story, helped her stage the house, then you hid the gun in case the cops got too close and you needed to frame someone else."

He's sticking to the facts, this time, instead of conjecture. He's looming over his father, this time, standing closer so he has to look down at him instead of across the room. It's different, this time.

"He was a brutal, abusive bastard. She deserves a medal for what she did." "He was an abusive bastard?" "What? You think I'm like him? I was nothing like Frank. I taught you what you needed to know, son. You're a man, now, because of me."

Toughen up, Rachel. Stop crying, Rachel. You're too soft, Rachel. You need a thicker skin, Rachel.

And somehow they can see it in someone else, but are blind to it in themselves. Because they have a justification for what they've done.

"I'm who I am in spite of you."

Yes. Tim. Bradford. Yes, you are. You looked at the Monster who tried to mold you to follow in his footsteps and said, "screw that". You chose to be your own man. You chose to end this horrible cycle of abuse. And now you get to say it to his face.

And the way his father has no response? It's perfect. Because you know some tiny morsel of what he said got through. Tim knows it, too. Look how he straightens a little... How now that he's said it aloud, he believes it himself.

"Goodbye, Dad. I hope it hurts."

It's the first time he's addressed his father by that name in the whole episode, and it's because he finally feels strong enough to say goodbye.

He'll never see that man, again, but this time he's said his piece and proved to himself that he the man he wants to be... not the Monster who raised him.

Tim walks out and closes the door. This is huge. Because last time he came here, he closed himself in with the Monster and he came alone. This time, he walked in and left the door open because he knew he had backup.

Tim knew Lucy was outside the door the entire time. She's had his back the entire episode, and this time when he came to face the man, he brought her with him. Some part of him knew he needed the support.

And this. is. huge. Tim Bradford takes care of his own problems. Tim Bradford doesn't ask for help. Right? No... Tim Bradford has isolated himself out of fear and trauma over and over and over, again. But today, he chose to let someone in—Lucy.

She heard all of that.

"You okay?" "No. He was protecting her. He never did anything to protect us, but his mistress? Broke half a dozen laws for her." "They picked her up. She's being processed right now. I don't think the DA is gonna prosecute your dad on his deathbed." "It doesn't matter. He'll get judged soon enough."

This whole episode, a part of Tim was hoping to see his father's judgment, to see him punished for the Monster that he was. This line right here shows he's accepted that it's out of his hands. And that's the way it has to be. He's releasing it.

Tim's looking away from Lucy... looking at memories she can't see.

When he does look to her, it's purposeful. He needs to say something.

"The Tim Tests? Those don't make me like him."

The way Tim's voice breaks here kills me. Because he's saying it aloud hoping he'll believe it, that he truly is nothing like that man. And hoping that she'll affirm it... because he'll believe her more than he'll believe himself.

Ever since Lucy mentioned the Tim Tests in the Shop, he's been thinking about it. He's been terrified that he mis-stepped and misjudged and maybe he messed up somewhere along the line. He's tried so hard not to be that man. But Lucy's words caused him doubt.

Because he cares how she sees him. No, they're not in a romantic relationship, here. He's dating someone else, so that's off the table. But, even now, mid Season 4, this is one of the most important relationships of his life. It matters how Lucy sees him.

He can dismiss the thoughts and opinions of so many others. But Lucy's is one of the few that counts. And he can't bear the thought of her thinking him a Monster.

"I know."

The first in a long line of "I know"s from these two. But watch how Tim's jaw clenches after she says it. He wants to believe it so bad, but some part of him isn't sure.

"You're nothing like him.."

Watch how he shakes his head along with her. He wants so badly to believe her, to know that she's telling the truth and not just what he wants to hear. Tim braces, pulling away. He leans away from her.

"Come here."

She echoes his words from 4x01 and puts her arms around him. he goes easily. No hesitation. He leans down to her, pressing his face against hers.

In this moment, he doesn't have to stand strong. The last time they hugged, he was the supportive one, tall and strong for her. This time, he's the one who needs to melt, and Lucy gives him the safe space to do it.

Just outside his father's room. A door separating him from the Monster. But in Lucy Chen's arms, Tim is safe.

"You're nothing like him."

And maybe, maybe, some part of him actually believes it since it's coming from her. The hug lingers. It's pure comfort. And it's exactly what she needs.

FAST FORWARD: Fans of 5x12 (like myself) might have been wondering where Tim got the snap shirt... this is a snap shirt. In fact, it might be the snap shirt. Someone with sharper eyes with mine might want to take a look. But it totally looks like the same shirt to me! (EDIT: It has been confirmed to NOT be the shirt, but at least we know Tim has snap shirts in his wardrobe prior to 5x12).

Moving on...

"Here. Let me help." "I got it. I'm good at cleaning things up on my own." "I know you are. I'm sorry I haven't been here to help more. I'm sorry I haven't been a better big brother."

You must be sitting here thinking, "Uh, Rachel. The last Chenford scene happened... why are you still writing?" Well, Chenford is nothing without Lucy AND Tim.

And who they are doesn't stop when they're apart. To truly appreciate this ship, I feel I need to look at both pieces in total as independent, beautiful characters. The Ship is nothing without them.

Tim has been so wrapped up in his own hurt that he's missed the burdens Genny has carried alone, as a result. But Tim needed the breakthrough that this episode afforded him.

"You're not that bad. When you're around." "Well, all that changes now. I'm coming to visit you every holiday. I'm gonna be calling you at least twice a week. And I will handle fixing up this place and selling it."

This is healing. No, it doesn't remove the scars or their phantom sting. But Tim Bradford spent so much time running away from his past that he missed the fact that he was also running from Genny. His little sister. Who really needed him.

"You should go home. Be with your family." "You're my family, too."

He needed to hear that. He is so worried that he screwed this up too much, that she would be too angry to love her big brother, still. And in four words, she soothed that fear away. You're still my brother.

"How about this? We fix and sell this place together, and then we'll both be done with it. All of it." "Deal."

Letting this go together is exactly what they both needed. Genny passes the broom to him, letting him share in the burden. And Tim gets right to work.

"Whatever happened with that gun?"

Tim doesn't even know where to start... so he keeps sweeping.

The growth that Tim is afforded by this pair of episodes is so needed. When we first meet Tim in the Pilot, he's a broken mess of a human functioning because he can lose himself in his work. He doesn't have to be a man when he's a cop.

Season 4 Tim has come around a lot, but he needed this healing to help him on his journey. He needed to finally be free of his father, not because he ran away, but because he faced him and released him and his hold.

Tim's healing has to come before he can be in a healthy relationship with Lucy Chen.

Look, I know what it's like going into a relationship when you're still dealing with un-healed trauma. Matthew and I had it on both sides. Yes, we fought through together. But, narratively, wouldn't it have been nice if the Universe had let us heal, first, so we'd be better for each other from the get-go?

The Writers afforded Tim and Lucy that opportunity. Does that mean Tim's trauma will never come up again? No. Does that mean Lucy's problems with her parents are a long-gone memory? No.

But whenever these two find one another, they will be healed enough not to destroy the relationship with their pain. When their traumas inevitably pop up, they can face them together from a point of some healing rather than completely raw agony.

Raw was Tim Bradford when we first met him. He has come so far. And he's a better man for it. Not just for Lucy, but for himself. He deserves healing and to find true hope.

Not the false hope that an abusive person will magically change their ways and be the parent he needed... but hope in the form of friendship, family, and a future. A truly beautiful future.

As ever, thanks for reading. Y'all are amazing, and I truly appreciate every Like, Re-Blog, and Comment. Can't wait to see ya on the next!

[earthstellar]

time for more Ratchet Reactions from IRL healthcare shenanigans

context for those unaware: I actually work in healthcare and lmao we are all going insane 

so without further ado, here are some Ratchet Reactions based on shit I have dealt with or witnessed within the past week. this is like therapy for me, tbh 

1) “do we have any nurses available for general surgery?” “no”

2) “and you said you’ve been using your inhaler as directed?” “yes” *checks prescription as noted in patient’s records, beclomethasone dipropionate x2 AM x2 PM, however patient states they have been taking x2 every 2 hours* “ah, just to confirm, that would be twice in the morning, twice in the evening?” “yes” “and you said you’ve been taking it two times every two hours throughout the day?” “yes”

3) “Dr. X, would you--” “hey did you hear about the battery we found lodged in patient X’s oesophagus this morning?” “I need to know if you’re available for an ENT consult this evening” “only if it’s another foreign object case, I’m on a roll. people love to swallow, apparently.” (the patient was very luckily fine, for anyone who might be wondering lmao) 

4) “hey, you!” “how can I help you?” “you’re the only one in here who isn’t a bitch!” me, quietly: “thank you” 

5) “how can I help you?” “RAAAAAGH HUERRRRRGH” 

6) “where is Dr. X, if you happen to know?” “he shit himself during the staff meeting, we’re just hoping it’s not C. Difficile”

bonus: overheard a cardiologist prepping a tilt table: “sometimes before I get the patients upright, I like to say ‘would the real slim shady please stand up’, but I’m not sure if that’s still funny or not” 

[trentskis]

here's my chant for john o'shea once he gets appointed as ireland manager:

[in tune of the real slim shady] he's o'sheasy yes he's the real sheasy all you other o'sheasys are just imitating so won't the real o'sheasy please stand up please stand up please stand up

repeat etc etc

[madame-bavarian-cream]

AOT characters and music they’d listen to:

feat. Levi, Mikasa, Eren, Jean, Erwin, Hange, Armin, Sasha, Connie

But it’s really specific and not at all based off of people i know 😀 (i never ever do this but it was a thought that wouldnt leave me alone).

Eren: 

i’m sorry am I supposed to believe this dumb mf doesn’t listen to only tiktok songs w/o any awareness of him doing it???? He’ll be like “hey have you heard this new song?” 😄😄and its just an edited version of a song made by the neighbourhood years ago 😕 PLSSS sir diversify your tastes!!! he obsessively listened to that “my money don’t jiggle jiggle” song unironically. Before tiktok, he would only listen to music on that Top50 spotify playlists and the only playlists he had saved outside of it was one mikasa made for him. 😐😐 Also he hasn’t listened to the sza album and thinks the big boys song is on it (keep up 😤😤😤)

Levi:

i was so close to just saying he doesn’t listen to anything “why do u need music when you can just appreciate the silence??” BECAUSE SIR music sounds GOOD!!! 🤨🤨this is why i’d think he’d listen to shit like Kaleo?!?!?! 😭😭😭 idek just something that litterally does not evoke a single emotion . its just like . there . He probably might listen to the lumineers on occasion (ik theyre really good don’t come at me🫣🫣) poor bb would probably like heavy metal if somebody ELSE played it for him (he would never admit to it tho) bc its something Kenny used to play when he was younger but never asked him what kind of music it was to search it up himself. 🥺🥺

Mikasa: 

my sweet girl. :( she is a fiend!! she is a pinchrest, lana del rey, mitski, rina, bjork, tv girl, marina girly thru and thru🤩🤩(im not pulling this from my spotify i sweAR) shes so deadfaced about it. she shits on all those weird coquette girlies tho!! (as she should queen!!!) Never will admit to listening to it tho, and not because she’s embarrassed but because she doesn’t want anyone thinking she relates to the themes/subject matter (bbg why are you lying🥲🥲) But that’s okay because we can consume art critically! 😁😁😀

Jean:

oh dear god. save this white man pls. 😢😢ok okok he actually has pretty good taste in music. hes the type that argues “i love all kinds of music just not country” (but ya know hes singing along to 9 to 5 everytime it plays on shuffle🤭🤭) he’s also very idgaf with the type of music he listens to and for that reason he’ll put you onto amazing artists!!! I feel like he listens to a lot of Omar Apollo, Sega Bodega, Dominic Fike, idkkk. He also listens to A LOT of Brent Faiyaz, the weeknd, and Gunna.😍😍BUTT I also will die on this hill that he used to love Eminem and would memorize all the lyrics (jeanboy is the real slim shady)😙 i luv him, he burns cds for all his friends (yes eren too) but will hand them off so nonchalantly and will be so careful in making the order of the tracks (yes eren too) and everyone will mock him for being so loving (yes eren too). Anyways I headcanon that jean is very very open with giving out all his love to his friends, always hosting everyone (yes eren too), wears his heart on his sleeves, tells his mom every little detail about them, and has the entire checklist for being a good friend down. anyways this isn’t unfortunately a jean post :( i luv him so much actually. also a big radiohead fan for some reason !😝😝

Hange:

I WAS SO EXCITED FOR THIS ONE!!!!!! hange has the best music taste and nobody expects it . (except me duh because i luv hange so so so so much 🤨) hange listens to what spotify categorizes as escape room music on their spotify wrapped. They listen to Eartheater, arca, bjork, coucou chloe, kilo kish, dorian electra, UGH I JUST CANT NOT ARGUE THIS ENOUGH!!! 👹👹hange’s dragging erwin and levi to the concerts and erwin’s grandpa ass is so enthusiastic for no reason (go white man go 🤠🤠) but like thats not all?? they also listen to artists like sevdaliza, florence, caroline polachek!!! HANGE LOVES WOMEN!!!! 😤FKA TWIGS, iamamiwhoami, kelela, kelsey lu :)))))) i feel like hange just loves :( it started out with trying to annoy levi with the weirdest sounding music ever but it turned out,,,,they really liked this kinda music (thx levi) Now he’s stuck with all their car rides consisting of hange whispering eartheater songs in his ear from the passengers seat right next to his ear. (also obsessed with any song they can gather people to dance along with #justdanceking) 🤞🤞

Erwin: 

erwin’s weird. he’s a weirdo. in case ya haven’t noticed. 😭😭 idk why his is so hard to think of??? He’s an unironic Rosalía stan and claims he luvs latina singers!! 😡😡i hate him so much. ok ok ok he’s a mariah carey, whitney houston, beyoncé, fan. He also loves like 2010s girl group music like fifth harmony, little mix, etcetera. 😫He cries to aretha franklin and nina simone. but he also knows the verses to Nicki’s songs :) i love him so much. ❤️

Sasha + Connie: 

they listen to the same music idc idc! Bad bunny, playboi carti, the weeknd. Connie went thru a bart simpson vapor wave/juice wrld phase. 😐😐😐He wouldve still been posting about XXXtentacion if Sasha didn’t smack some sense into him 😠😠(everyone say thank you sasha) Sasha also listens to lots of Britney i havta say! also loved the neighbourhood, arctic monkeys, etc growing up. I luv her so much 🤭🤭

Armin: 

my sweet darling boy grew up listening to emo rock and goth rock growing up. he hid it from everyone tho! instead he listened it to full blast on his headphones for hours at night and thats why today he says “huh.” 😕after every sentence someone says :/ hes grown out of it now but he still can belt out the lyrics to black parade anyday! went crazy over King for a Day bc Kellin Quinn AND Pierce the Veil?!?!?!😳😳 Now he loves screaming along in eren’s ear! 🤪🤪

[jupyyter]

I’ve been harvesting silly quotes from me and my friend @jackskellingtoniscool and I finally think I have enough to share

(Me=red, friend=blue, pink=both, other=orange)

Why isn’t my light straight?

It reflects you :3

*walks down hall*

What way are we going?

Not this way

*exits hall*

Becomes slim shady (yes I’m the real shady all you other slim shadies-)

I’ve got Sweet Caroline and Tainted Love stuck in my head and they’re slowly becoming one

Coming at you with Tainted Caroline

The bulb is hot, I shouldn’t touch it

*proceeds to reach hand towards bulb*

If Poseidon had Zeus’ personality would he be hot water?

Jesus but gay

…

Lady gaga?

22

*we both break down laughing*

Yours freed cereal?

Yortified cereals

My bad

(Part 1)

..I just called my boyfriend squig

L

(Part 2, when discussing genders)

I JUST CALLED THE OTHER ONE GENDER FOR F U C K S SAKE

Ah yes, Squig and Gender your most beloved

Diego lost his virginity to the Macarena

(In science class (this was a horrible attempt at 19-2000 by the gorrilaz))

Do do-do do do

Do do-do do do

Do do-do do do

Do do-do do do

DUN DUN TAINTED LOVE

NO-

What’s a T-gender?

A what?

A gender starting with T

Uhhhh, Truck gender?

…Transgender, Jayjay