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thenyoukeepliving · 1 month ago

Text

Stress Relief

Jax x Reader

sorry for the long intro

Summary: Caine organises a roast session for the circus members, with Jax being the first target. He plays it cool at first, but when the jokes hit a little too close to home, Y/N finds him struggling with the aftermath.

A/N: This idea came to me in a ₊‧⁺˖vision˖⁺‧₊, inspired by that episode in the Office where everyone roasts Micheal and he acts tough in front of them but gets really emotional and cries about it at the end. I feel that’s extremely Jax coded. Originally, I imagined this as just a bunch of random HCs, but then I wanted to write an actual story around it – so I decided to do both.

You’ll see an intermission in the middle where I just made the roasts into bullet points, mostly because I came up with too many for each character and had no idea how to structure them. So I just got lazy with it. Hope you don’t mind lol. Imagine it like a fun montage!

Quick backstory:

1.) This happens on the next day of ‘A Slithering Adventure’, also written by yours truly, so if you haven’t read that one yet, number one, how dare you, and second, you don’t necessarily have to read it, but it’s nice for the context. Not suggesting anything… but, y’know. Glance glance, wink wink.

2.) I mentioned in that post that I’m in the middle of writing a long and tedious TADC AU kind of thing for myself with my OC in mind, who has a mysterious backstory that the circus members don’t know about. This oneshot is also a part of that story. There’s a brief scene touching on that here, but nothing you can’t handle.

CW: underlying themes of emotional damage / emotional vulnerability - from both Y/N and Jax | Jax gets bullied <3 | Y/N has hair, Kinger has brows and Caine has a grin?? i dunno man

Word count: 3044 | Masterlist

You woke up feeling like sleep had chewed you up and spat you back out. Maybe it was yesterday’s adventure – running from a giant serpent, getting lost in the woods, and, most amusingly, watching Jax try (and fail) to act like he wasn’t absolutely losing his mind.

On the surface, it had been hilarious. Seeing him crumble in fear, fumbling through excuses, pretending he was totally fine? Priceless. But now, lying here, staring at the ceiling, you couldn’t shake the nagging feeling in the back of your mind.

You almost felt bad for him. Almost.

You stretched, your joints making an odd rubbery squeak – just another reminder that your body wasn’t really your body anymore. Sitting up, you replayed yesterday’s events in your mind.

Jax had tried so hard to keep his usual smug composure, but the moment that snake slithered too close, he practically levitated off the ground. His ears had shot straight up, his pupils shrunk to tiny squares, and, oh, the best part, his voice cracked when he snapped at you to “move faster, dammit!”

You snorted to yourself. Yeah, real smooth, Jax.

Still… the way he had reacted – it wasn’t just some overblown freak-out. There was real fear in his eyes. Not the dramatic, over-the-top kind he faked for attention, but something raw, something instinctive. And that’s what stuck with you.

You weren’t used to seeing Jax vulnerable. Hell, you weren’t sure if he was used to it.

With a sigh, you got up. Not my problem, you told yourself. He’ll be fine.

Probably.

You shook off the lingering thoughts and made your way out of your room. The hallway stretched ahead, bathed in that usual, eerie vibes – no windows, no real sense of time passing, just the same endless loop of artificial existence.

As you got lost in your thoughts, you nearly bumped into someone.

“Kinger?”

The old chess piece flinched like you’d just jolted him out of a deep trance. His eyes darted around before settling on you, blinking a few times as if trying to place who you were.

“Oh! Oh, yes, you’re… you’re…” he paused, rubbing his gloved hands together. “Wait, what was I–? Oh dear, I was– hm.”

Kinger always seemed lost in his own world, but today, there was something… different about it.

“You alright there, buddy?” you asked, tilting your head with a half-smile.

He let out a nervous chuckle, then leaned in slightly. “I had a thought just now,” he muttered, his voice filled with confusion. “But it slipped away. Isn’t that strange? Happens all the time, but this one felt important.”

Your stomach suddenly twisted. You had a hunch of what this was about. He’s remembering. Not clearly, not yet – but it was only a matter of time.

Before you could respond, he straightened up. “Ah, well! Off to breakfast, are we? Yes, yes, me too! Or – was I going somewhere else?”

You forced a grin. “Nah, you’re doing just fine, Kinger.”

His eyes twitched. “Huh?”

You just patted his shoulder, ignoring how he flinched. “C’mon, let’s get going.”

Kinger hesitated but eventually shuffled along beside you. He kept glancing your way, brow furrowed like he was trying to piece together a puzzle with missing pieces. You pretended not to notice.

As you two entered the main room, the others were already gathered, the air thick with anticipation. Your eyes immediately met Jax’s, who was already slouched on the couch, arms folded behind his head as if he owned the place.

You tried to ignore the faint hint of amusement flickering across your face as you sat down next to him, your thoughts still lingering on the adventure with the serpent. You could still hear Jax’s high-pitched yelp in your head and the way he had tried – and spectacularly failed – to act calm. Not that you’d rub it in… too much.

"You still recovering from yesterday or have the nerves settled down already?”

Jax shot you a quick glance as he leaned back with a cocky grin. "Nerves? What nerves? I’m good as new, Y/N."

“Uh-huh,” you said, not buying it for a second. You crossed your arms, keeping your expression neutral, but you couldn’t help the small, teasing smile that tugged at your lips.

"Hey, I’m just saying, I’m extremely calm under pressure. One of my many talents," Jax continued, grinning wider. "You can admit it – you were impressed."

You snorted at his response. “Right, sure. Whatever you say, bunny boy.”

Before Jax could reply, Caine’s voice boomed across the room, cutting through the casual chatter like a knife. "Alright, alright! Settle down, everyone! Your favorite ringmaster has finally arrived!"

You could practically feel the collective groan ripple through the room.

Caine twirled in mid-air, his voice filling the entire room. "Ah, welcome, my fabulous team! Welcome, my precious superstars, my beloved troupe of dazzling individuals who make this circus the magnificent spectacle it is!" His eyes shined with excitement as he continued, his hands sweeping grandly toward the group. "Now, my lovely cast of unique and talented beings, it’s time for a very special event, one that will unite us all in ways you cannot yet fathom!"

He paused for dramatic effect, letting the silence hang in the air before delivering his next words with grand flair. "Today, we’re embarking on a marvelous journey of togetherness! The bond of a team is forged in the most delightful of fires. And what better way to nurture that bond than... a team-building exercise, of course!"

The room fell into a hushed stillness. You tilted your head in confusion, not entirely sure where this was going.

Caine’s grin widened as he spun in a slow circle. "This will not be some trivial, run-of-the-mill bonding experience, no! No, no, no... This, my dear friends, will be a roast! A chance for each of you to lovingly tear each other apart, but with words, of course! Nothing brings people closer than a little well-meaning verbal destruction, am I right?"

There was a beat of silence.

Then–

"Wait, what?" Jax sat up, grinning. "You’re saying we just get to insult each other? In front of everyone?"

"Precisely!" Caine exclaimed, beaming like he’d just announced the greatest prize. "Let’s see who can come up with the sharpest wit, the cleverest insult, and of course, the most playful jabs. All in good fun, of course!"

You could see Gangle and Pomni getting uncomfortable, probably being a bit concerned about what’s about to go down. Zooble let out a sigh, already regretting coming out of their room today.

Caine clapped his hands dramatically, bringing the attention back to him. "Alright! Let the games begin! I expect nothing short of absolute brilliance from each of you. And remember, we’re a team. A family! Just... with a little extra spice today."

"Alright, let’s get started," Jax cracked his knuckles. "This might be the best day of my life."

The others exchanged uneasy glances, half-expecting Jax to unleash all of his inner demons. Caine spun in the air. "Since Jax is clearly so excited, why don’t we start with him?"

Jax froze.

"Wait–"

But it was too late. The damage had been done.

The room fell silent for a moment. Then Ragatha leaned forward, a smile spreading across her face. "Oh, this should be fun."

___________________________

POMNI

#1:

Pomni: Visibly sweating. “Uh… Jax… you, um… you’re really mean. Like, aggressively mean. If I had a dollar for every time you insulted me, I’d – well, I don’t know what I’d do, because there’s no money here, but I’d be rich in theoretical dollars.” Pauses, then mutters. “Wait, that sounded dumb. Can I start over?”

Jax: “Nah, keep going, this is hilarious.”

#2:

“Uh… Jax. You, um… you’re really good at making people feel bad. Which is… impressive? In a terrible way? Anyway, I don’t think you have emotions, and I think if you did, you’d bully them too.”

#3:

“If you disappeared, I wouldn’t even question it…”

GANGLE

#1:

Gangle: “Jax, every time you walk into a room, I have to mentally prepare myself. You’re like a jump scare, but instead of a scary monster, it’s just… pure emotional damage.”

Jax: “Aww, thanks, ribbons.”

Gangle: “That wasn’t a compliment...”

Jax: Grinning. “Sounded like one.”

#2:

“I-I-I just think it’s really funny how you call everyone else pathetic, but you literally have nothing going for you. You don’t even wear shoes."

#3:

“I tried drawing Jax once, but the paper crumpled itself out of self-respect.”

KINGER

#1:

“Jax reminds me of this guy I used to know in the war. Always running his mouth. We left him in a ditch.”

#2:

“You remind me of a mosquito. Annoying, persistent, and somehow always there when I don’t want you to be.”

#3:

“You know, Jax, I think I used to have a friend like you… Oh, wait, never mind… I wouldn’t do that to myself.”

Y/N

#1:

"Jax, I have to ask – do you actually do anything around here, or do you just exist to be a professional pain in the ass?"

#2:

"You’re like a kid who just learned what sarcasm is and decided to make it his whole personality."

#3:

"I think the real mystery of this place is how you’re somehow both the most annoying and the most avoidant person here."

RAGATHA

#1:

“Jax, you act like you’re too cool to care about anything, but I’ve seen you spend fifteen minutes trying to get your reflection to wink back at you the ‘right’ way. So. Yeah.”

#2:

Ragatha: “Jax, I’ve seen you laugh at your own jokes for a solid five minutes while everyone else just stands there in silence. You are your own biggest fan, and honestly? Even you deserve better.”

Jax: “That was almost clever. I’m proud of you.”

Ragatha: “Don’t patronize me. Also, I know for a fact you talk to yourself in the mirror.”

Jax: “Who told you that?”

Ragatha: “You did. Out loud. In the middle of this room.”

#3:

“If we haven’t already got a suggestion box, I’d make one with a ‘things that need to be removed’ label and slip a piece of paper in with your name.”

ZOOBLE

#1:

“Jax, you’re like a vending machine that only gives out insults and expired chips. Just once, I’d like to press a button and get, I don’t know, basic human decency. But no, it’s always ‘ha ha, Zooble looks like modern art that got hit by a bus.’”

#2:

Zooble: “Jax, you act like you’re too cool to care about anything, but let’s be real – you’re the kind of guy who’d fake not knowing what a hug is just so no one tries to give you one.”

Jax: “Oh, please. Like anyone here would want to hug me.”

Zooble: “You’d be surprised. Some people love a good ‘fixing a broken man’ project.”

Jax: No way that’s a thing.

Zooble: “Oh, absolutely. You’re the perfect candidate.”

#3:

Deadpan. “Jax is proof that some things just keep going, even when nobody wants them to.”

CAINE

#1:

“Jax, my boy! I’d roast you, but honestly, I think the universe already did that when it made you HAHAHA!”

#2:

Caine: “Jax, Jax, Jax… My favorite little nuisance! You know, if I had a nickel for every time you caused chaos, I’d – wait! I don’t need nickels! I’m already infinitely powerful HAHAHAHAHA! But if I did need them, I’d be filthy rich!”

Jax: “Wow, Caine. That was… whatever that was.”

Caine: “Well, you can’t roast perfection! Now back to you, champ! You may be an insult machine, but hey! At least you’re consistent! Consistently terrible HAHAHAHAHA!”

#3:

“Jax! My favorite little chaos gremlin! If I could actually feel regret, you’d be the reason why!”

BUBBLE

“Jax. You’re a #&@$! ×@% $#=?+% #$&@Đ÷ €$?¤#@! @ $÷!# that %&ß$#! %@&#×˘! *?!&#@!+$ß×&Đ.”

___________________________

Caine’s voice boomed through the room, as energised as ever. “Well, wasn’t that simply spectacular? What a brilliant display of camaraderie! Look at you all, bonded through the magic of playful verbal annihilation! Why, I’d say this was the best team-building exercise yet!”

The room was buzzing with laughter and lingering amusement, the cast still fired up from the roasts. Even Ragatha, who had initially looked sceptical of the idea, was grinning ear to ear. Zooble leaned back with a smirk, Gangle wiped away what might have been tears of either joy or secondhand pain.

Jax was smiling too. The same lazy, smug grin he always wore. It was convincing enough that no one seemed to question it. But you had been watching him closely.

His smile wasn’t quite right.

Not enough teeth.

And his eyes – normally playful, always scanning for the next opportunity to push someone’s buttons – looked... distant. Unfocused.

The way he leaned back on the couch, his fingers tapping against his arm, his slight pull on his gloves, and his ears twitched every so often, like he was catching a sound no one else could hear.

No one else noticed.

But you did.

You knew what it looked like when someone acted like nothing was wrong, just to keep everyone else from seeing the cracks.

Caine, oblivious as ever, twirled in the air. “Alright, my wonderful wacky weirdos! This exercise is officially OVER! I expect nothing but besties for the resties energy from now on! Dismissed!”

The moment those words left Caine’s mouth, Jax stood up. Not too fast, not too slow – just natural enough to avoid suspicion. He stretched his arms over his head with a yawn, flashing his usual easygoing smirk. "Welp, that was fun. You guys almost made me feel something."

No one batted an eye as he wandered off.

You saw his hand clenching into a fist the second he turned away. The way his ears pinned back just slightly. The way his steps, while casual, had a certain... urgency to them.

You hesitated. For a second, you considered letting it go. He’d clearly rather be alone. But there was something about Jax that nagged at you. So, instead, you followed.

Jax moved with purpose, leaving the tent, weaving through the grounds, past the main attractions, past the places where the others usually went outside when needed “fresh air”. It wasn’t obvious at first, but after a few turns, you realised where he was going.

Your stomach twisted.

No way.

Jax slipped past a curtain of glitchy vines, making his way up a small hill behind the water park, where an old, gnarled tree stood. You had been here countless times before – it was your secret spot. The place you went when you needed to clear your head, when the circus became too much.

You hadn’t thought anyone else knew about it.

And yet, there he was.

Jax sat against the tree, his back pressed to the trunk, his arms loosely hugging his knees. His usual smug expression was gone, replaced by something emptier. He stared ahead at nothing, the glow of his eyes dimmer than you’ve ever seen it.

For a long moment, you just stood there.

Jax didn’t acknowledge you, but you could tell he knew you were there. His ear flicked slightly at the sound of your footsteps.

Still, he didn’t move.

Didn’t say anything.

Didn’t crack a joke or roll his eyes or tell you to scram.

That alone said a lot.

You approached slowly, stopping just a few feet away.

“…Do you wanna talk about it?”

Jax’s ears twitched. A beat of silence.

“No.”

It wasn’t sharp or defensive. Just flat. Dismissive.

You exhaled through your nose, tilting your head slightly. “You’re getting dangerously close to a full-on therapy session, y’know.”

Jax let out something that was almost a chuckle – but it was faint. Weak. His lips barely twitched, but he still didn’t look at you.

You shifted your weight, rocking back on your heels, studying him. You didn’t know what to make of this.

Jax wasn’t supposed to be like this. He was supposed to be an annoying little shit. The guy who found amusement in messing with people, who took nothing seriously, who never let anyone in.

You recognised this.

The way he sat, curled in on himself just enough to seem smaller. The way his usual sharp edges had dulled. The way he was pretending to be fine even when he so clearly wasn’t.

It was familiar.

And you didn’t like that.

Because it meant you understood him more than you wanted to.

You sighed, running a hand through your hair before dropping down to sit beside him. You rested your arms on your knees, staring ahead at nothing, mirroring him.

You didn’t say anything else. You figured, if he did want to talk, he would. And if he didn’t? Well.

You could at least sit with him in the silence.

Minutes passed. It wasn’t uncomfortable, exactly. Just… heavy. Neither of you moved. Neither of you spoke. The kind of quiet that wasn’t empty, but full of things that were left unsaid.

You didn’t know how long you sat there, but it gave you time to think about all the similarities you shared with Jax. Hiding everything behind jokes. Pushing people away before they could get too close. Pretending you didn’t need anyone when, deep down, you did. Maybe you were just as bad at being alone as he was.

Then, finally, Jax shifted. Just a little. His legs stretched out in front of him, arms still loosely draped over his knees. It wasn’t much. But it was something. Like he was letting a little crack appear in the wall he’d built around himself.

That small shift told you everything. You weren’t sure if he even noticed, but you could feel the weight of it. The way he was letting himself be… here. Not perfect. Not completely okay. But here. And that was enough.

"…You’re not alone," you murmured, barely above a whisper. It wasn’t meant to fix anything. Just a reminder.

He didn’t respond. But you didn’t need him to.

You both sat there, in the quiet, for as long as it took.