#hell yea....... NOW WHERES THE DUDETTES?

[trailerparkdad]

dudes

[grunkhilde]

Making Mandos Here

I just wanted to put the nite owl helmets on boba’s body and put his on sabine’s body in blender to make the helmets more gender neutral by god things have spiraled out of control

So far I have three main body types of mandalorian.

Good old Jango

The effervescent Boba Fett

And the incomparable Din Djarin

We also have two sub types, and what what means will become clearer later.

The ever rebellious Sabine Wren

And a nondestinct deathwatch member

Five little funky guys to choose from for your mando character to choose from as a base to custom paintjob with the ability to swap helmets between them, nothing life changing.

Wrong. Incorrect. Very lifechanging. You’ll never be able to go back to the way you used to live in a moment.

You see, there’s Jango classic, sure, strapping gentleman, great guy.

Here’s the kicker though. What if he was slightly less strapping. Slightly more robust in other regards? A petit fellow mayhaps. Or rather, if your very own custom mando was, whether they just be a twink or a less than busty cis girl or an enby or a binary trans girl/boy or whatever else you or your minecraft girlfriend you’re forcing to rp star wars with you wishes their character to be.

If overtly thicc isn’t your cup of tea we also have Strapping Again But This Time With A Bigger Chest Area. Not quite mortifying anime boob plate its still a piece of armor and made to bounce lasers off of not direct them directly into your sternum, just a tad roomier if your mando is a wider framed dude and or dudette and or none of the above pre or post any sci fi tech ops. Though given Dying Of Sadness is apparently a thing medical droids aren’t good enough to deal with in the case of Padme maybe don’t go to the Sheev Palpatine Surgical Reconstruction Center they’re a solid two out of three on space yelp.

And naturally you can’t have those two options without combing the two if your mando is stacked all around and proud.

Recall what I said about the three main body types here. That’s right. That means all four of those funney body types are available for those three main bases. Twelve options right there babbey.

All the slim thicc bobas your heart could desire are at your fingertips here babes.

All the booba fetts.

All the furry vent comic lil thiccie fetts.

All the dins.

Every last one.

Yep.

I don’t have quips for everything.

As for those two other sub types I mentioned, Sabine and the claymation show sumbitch. Wharl, they’re already kind of skinny and I didn’t feel like making them broader shouldered. I could be bribed to feel like doing it, probably, but for now your options for either party are just basic breast reductions so like I’m sorry to say it but you’ve been government assigned as lightweights Sabine stans. Still four options for the sub types not bad.

Compared to

The claymation ones were from a web browser mmo originally don’t expect a ton here alright.

Wizard101 looking son of a bitch.

If you noticed a different there no you didn’t. Those legs were always bent slightly like that. Shut up. 

 Now, for where this all started. Helmets. You want a night owl helmet, regardless of gender, I’m your man.

You want dinn’s little funney crest helmet? Deal.

You want El Classico on a base that usually has a different helmet? Deal motherfucker.

That was a boba helmet too not a rink a dink jango swap. No little head dent. No marilyn monroe mole. Is the average recolorer offering that? Hell no brother.

You Want Chopa’a? Fucking Chopa’a? Chopa’a The Crime Lord From The Cloud City Level Of The Force Unleashed But Only The Force Unleashed Released For The Wii And Playstation 2 Specifically? You Are A Pervert. And We Will Have A Summer Wedding.

That one concept art helmet? Yeah you know the one. They were recycled as Chopa’a’s bodyguards before the claymation series had it as a disguise for Obi Wan. You would have already known that if you were invited to the summer wedding.

We got the darth maul helmets from the claymation series. Those were kinda cool yeah. Yeah.

We got the other claymation guy’s too. You know the guy. Like his second helmet. His first helmet was just el classico. But really long in the face. Because I guess how that’s how the claymation guys decided to stylize them.

And the other concept art one. You know the other concept art one. From the other claymation series.

Here’s a claymation two exclusive though from when in like the future when they have Y helmets instead of Ts for some reason and the double antennas. I think the comics did that earlier in like the EU. With the one black and gold guy. From the google result screencaps. You know the guy.

And a second claymation two one for like the fighter pilot boys. I’m still upset I didn’t find a version of there from any official games. That line is one pixel the textures are just low res as shit. Cause browser mmo.

And, as a treat for you good children, one from the old EU Jango backstory comics where the death watch idea first started.

That’s 16 body types times. Times 11 helmet types. Or maybe ten because they all have one by default so that like doesn’t count as another. We’ll say its ten because clearly I am lacking at math. That’s 160 variations baby. Which according to claymation logic where the helmets are gender locked even though mando’a is a gender neutral language to segment the market into girl and boy toys I guess, that’s 160 genders right there I just invented. But wait, there’s more.

If you want jetpacks then by god do I have entirely too many jetpacks. Like this scuffy claymation bastard.

Or this really swag Chopa’a guard pack. From the force unleashed. For the ps2 specifically.

This is a rare snacks holding jetpack actually so shut up actually.

Good old rising phoenix. The e should be before the o in phoenix if you ask me. Which you did.

The incomparable Jango’s.

And Boba’s absolute stud of a jetpack.

Well that’s enough variation for one day, 160 times 6 times the limitless boundaries of your imagination. Wrong. Soak this absolute swag in.

Peep this utter swaggery and weep.

Republic Commandos babbey. Another ps2 classic.

Let’s go Fetts babbey love the Fetts

The little things the clones have? The data pads? Wrong. I have them now. To give to you. On your mandos.

We can get weeby.

We got twi leks here babbey.

Maybe some of the little grievous side head fins. If you’re in fact nastay.

These montrails are kind of rough not about to lie. Not finished editing them. But they’re on the table.

You may have noticed the Chopa’a friendly versions. For the ps2. A mere fraction of my repainting abilities.

Oh that’s right, silly me, I also have Every Gun. Ever. If you see one that isn’t here you didn’t and also it’s fake. So don’t ask for it.

Except for this one, specifically.

And I can do this. Because of republic commandos again. Because of the playstation 2. Again.

And also every lightsaber.

I didn’t feel like opening them though. Also don’t ask me about animations I hate unity more than I hate life itself it is just there to get the avatars from blender to vr chat.

Speaking of which, of the possible millions of combos you can slap together and then get your own paintjob for, I stuck 57 into vrchat for Freeeeeeee. Because my meat is fucking huge and also never bother me because I am so so strong and handsome and generous. https://vrchat.com/home/world/wrld_9c6cc74c-334a-4193-91a0-511466817ab3

Dozens. Free. In game now. Mostly bug tested. If not who cares you didn’t pay for them. If you would to like to pay for Lets Talk Business Babbey.

https://discord.gg/DvTJcgCMSa

I also have sexy anime boy adopts don’t you fucking judge me I need to supplement my income.

[scath001]

Whump Prompt 170

I have a plot idea which I may develop into a full story and of which as you read this post you’ll witness the deterioration of what remains of my dysfunctional brain at 3 am in the morning. So! What is it about? Well...

The story goes as this:

The whumpee and caregiver are neighbours. The whumpee lives a floor above the caregiver’s apartment and they are good friends and perhaps the two even have a little crush for each other. Who knows? They certainly don’t.

Of course, despite them being really close friends, they have their own issues and disagreements. The whumpee is a known crybaby who after they encountered the whumper; they have lost who they once were, now reduced to a sobbing mess most of the time. It’s as if crying is all they ever know and it’ll fix their problems somehow. Now, the caregiver doesn’t know about the whumper- hell, they don’t even know the existence of this person. The whumpee never really shared in detail about the whumper to them and besides, the caregiver only came to know about the whumpee a few years after they were free from the whumper. Hence the caregiver has only known the whumpee as the person they are; a crybaby.

Over time the caregiver starts to get frustrated and stressed out by the whumpee’s behaviour. It also doesn’t help that the caregiver has their own personal issues to deal with to on top of caring for the whumpee. So they leave for a while; a few weeks to a couple of months.

The caregiver kinda dreads coming back to their apartment, wondering if they are ready to face the mess and chaos that is the cry baby whumpee that they know just after having to deal with a near loss of their family. But to their surprise, they find that the whumpee has changed drastically from when they left. First catching a glimpse of the whumpee late night, outside the bar nearby when arriving home, working as a bartender- something that they could never be given how much they used to shy away from the company of others. Now seeing the whumpee with 1. a job, and 2. a job that demanded great people skills... the caregiver wonders if what they’ve witness is real.

When the whumpee hears of the caregiver’s return, they seemingly light up like a puppy when their owner finally returns home. The next evening after work, the whumpee rushes to their neighbour’s front door only to stop themselves from knocking the door, fixing their hair and clothes. They remember the day the caregiver left, and it honestly still hurts the whumpee. But the whumpee puts on a smile and decides to play it cool, meeting the caregiver.

From their subsequent encounters- by that I mean; the whumpee being all charismatic and causally flirting with the caregiver, teasing the caregiver’s flustered reactions, always smiling and joking about. I also mean, the whumpee treating the caregiver’s house like their own and just crashing in randomly, cleaning up the house from time to time and especially cooking meals for them because it’s a known fact that the caregiver can’t cook anything but cup noodles and brew herbal/ medicinal tea.

During this period the caregiver feels extremely confused and has absolutely no idea how to feel about this current situation. Deep down they feel that something is amiss with the whumpee’s behaviour, now someone of a stranger to them, a performer wearing a mask, now no longer crying over the thing that they would back then... No. The whumpee never cries now. The caregiver feels a like sick; isn’t this what they wanted? Shouldn’t they be happy for the whumpee who’s better now? They were tired of babying them after all. They left. But a part of the caregiver feels hurt too. Perhaps the whumpee didn’t need them after all.

Still the caregiver rolls with what they are given, dismissing the thought of something amiss only to regret it soon enough. They were right, but could never prove it or confront the whumpee about it, let alone find time to do so when they worked in the day and the whumpee working at night most of the time. However, they’d try time and time again, trying to sit the whumpee down for a conversation about the incident but the whumpee always cleverly evades the topic with a dismissive shrug of “things just change” or a causal joke of them being a crybaby back then. In truth of course, the whumpee’s scared shitless that if their mask cracks and they mess up the caregiver would leave them for good.

(holy crap this is long but there’s more)

It gets to a point where the whumpee lies to the caregiver, covering up and hiding wounds or their emotional hurt when the caregiver pushes them away. The whumpee holds tears back, maybe they do break from time to time but only alone in the dark and never where anyone can witness them do so.

Now. Of course. The drama we’ve been waiting for. The whumper is back in town! YEA BABYYYYY! Yes evil old whumper dude/ dudette is back and with more energy than ever to torment the whumpee. From sending threatening notes to maybe stalking them and definitely beating them up or injuring the whumpee in some way for form. They leave the whumpee alone again once they are bored of them and the whumpee picks themselves up, painfully making their way back home exhausted, afraid and beaten. They immediately crash once home, back at their own apartment, silently sobbing into bloody sheets and curling up, eventually passing out due to their exhaustion. The next few days, the whumpee takes a few days off to recover alone, starting with patching themselves up, cleaning up the bloodied sheets, etc.

The caregiver meanwhile, oblivious of what’s going on, wonders what happened to the whumpee. For someone who now “visits”- more like crashes into the caregiver’s house randomly cooking meals and now enjoys flirting at the them shamelessly, their sudden disappearance rubs the caregiver the wrong way. Still due to the whumpee’s current unpredictable behaviour and their busy schedule, the caregiver shrugs it off. (“Maybe the whumpee’s forgotten about me?” “Ah well, this is probably normal now, they are probably just busy.”) That is, until their concern grows painfully unbearable and they finally visit the whumpee a few days later they got beaten up.

They stand at the door shocked at the sight of a rather tired, whumpee. Their sink pale, littered with now purplish- blue bruises along with a bunch of gauzes covering abrasions and healing open wounds. The whumpee looks as though they havent been sleeping well, dark circles under their slightly redden eyes. Did they cry? Or was that just a symptom of them having difficulties resting?

The caregiver gingerly reaches out, still looking horrified while the whumpee pulls and exhausted smile. They ask the whumpee for an explanation in which of course, the whumpee lies, not wanting to burden the caregiver with their problems, dismissing it with a joke. “Oh these? Just had one hell of a night >;3″

But the caregiver simply looks on unamused, uninterested in buying their bullshit this time which lead the whumpee to roll their eyes casually, “Alright fine, I didn’t. You caught me. Ju- just fell off my bike on the way back home that’s all. No biggie.”

The caregiver looks on sadly, their instincts screaming at them that it’s a lie but they ultimately decide not to chase it upon the sight of the whumpee’s state. Still, it hurts them immensely to see the whumpee suffering alone, unable to share their pain through the barriers they’ve helped built. Overwhelm with guilt and sorrow, the caregiver gets emotional and breaks. They crack, tears welling up in their eyes and the whumpee smiles apologetically, reaching out for a hug. That’s when the caregiver breaks completely, crumbling into a sobbing mess in the whumpee’s arms as the latter mutters apologies and tries to soothe the caregiver’s crying.

With enough time, the caregiver eventually cries themselves to exhaustion and the whumpee tenderly tucks the caregiver into their bed, covering their friend with a blanket while the take the sofa in their living room curled up, and tired to the bone but still having trouble with sleep. The whumpee does get sleep in the end, albeit not much at all. When they wake, they find the blanket draped over themselves and the caregiver no where to be found. (They had gone for work.) The whumpee also finds some takeaways and medication on their dinning table along with a note under a thermal flask of herbal tea from the caregiver.

Yup. That’s the idea. But wait, there’s MoRe?! (I’ll be discussing them in the next post since this one is getting a little too long rip. Also, 4 am, hurrah! hooza!)

[sugagimmesugar]

Sunshine Dancer Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Pull me closer, cause I changed my mind.

CW: Alcohol, some strong language, some sexual subjects

Masterlist here

It takes him a while to tear his eyes away from yours, instead trying to find his phone. As he picks it up, the ringing stops, the call already dropped. Smiling up at you, he opens his mouth, as if to say something, before being interrupted by the ringing, again. Laughing, you motion for him to pick up.

“Yes? Already here…… Great. Yea, I’ll buzz you in gimme a sec.”

It’s a very short call, his eyes never leaving you as he talks to his friend on the other end. The guys are early. For once. Of course, the one night where being late would be ok, or even good, that’s the one night were Jimin isn’t late. It almost feels like the universe is sabotaging your impure intentions. Hoseok moves towards the door, buzzing in his classmates and friends. In the meantime, you decide to pump up the music volume and get the guys their usual drinks ready, might as well make yourself useful while you wait for them to come up. The elevator is out of order and you live on the fourth floor, so you should have a few minutes.

*I wasn’t really sure about us But now I’m pretty sure about us Ooh, pull me closer Cause I changed my mind*

As you take some beers and ciders out of the fridge, the chorus of one of your favourite songs hits and you can’t help but swaying along, your eyes closed as you put down the drinks on a table. Suddenly, there’s hands on your hips, a forehead against yours, someone joining in your slow dance around the apartment. Your bodies pressed against each other, you can feel his breath against your skin, smelling the drinks he has already had as you wrap your arms around his neck, your hand in his hair. In time with the song lyrics, he pulls you closer, a small smile on his lips as he meets your eyes. You see the way his eyes flit between your eyes and your lips, the question almost audible. But before either one of you can actually make a move, Jimin and his friend Taehyung burst through the door, laughing and breathless, looking like they actually raced up the stairs.

“Oh! Is it finally happening? Y/n and Hobi? Friends to lovers? After all these years of pining?” Jimin laughs as the two of you rip apart as quick as lightning. Your eyes on your best friend, you ignore the younger man’s joke, just trying to figure out how to actually move on from what just *almost* happened. All of a sudden, Hoseok is refusing to meet your eyes, instead he barks out a laugh, greeting his friends as the rest of the group starts pouring in. “Just shut up and get your drinks, I wanna go out dancing and we all know you need some alcohol to actually function at a club.” He slaps Jimin’s shoulder, a bit too hard for it to be just friendly, his eyes confirming your suspicion. Hoseok is mad. And as soon as Jimin sees it, he turns to you, to where the drinks are, a mild panic now in his eyes.

All in all, there’s 6 friends other than you in Hobi’s closest friend group. There’s Jimin and Jungkook who go to the same programme as Hoseok does. They’re dancers. Then there’s Taehyung, as far as you know he’s an art student and Jimin’s best friend, so he always gets dragged along. He is sweet and quiet and seems sometimes overwhelmed by the energy of the dance-hoes (as they call themselves), while other times he just joins in, a giggly mess of shenanigans when he is the mood. Somehow, Hoseok met Namjoon, Jin and Yoongi, even though they run in very different circles. Namjoon a history major, Jin a professional chef and Yoongi a music producer in his first year out of Uni, they somehow ended up in this mess of a clique.

Tonight, only the chaotic one’s came. Namjoon stayed home with some essay while Yoongi just straight up refused. They rarely join in the dancing and going out part of the friendship. You send Yoongi a quick text, jokingly annoyed with him for leaving you alone with a bunch of chaotic drunks. You hear Tae and Jimin giggling at some Dad-joke Jin said as you, for the second time this night already, get surprised by someone’s hands on your waist. You turn to face what you expect to be Hoseok, but are even more surprised to find Jungkook, his eyes dark as he is obviously already drunk. “I love this dress on you, y/n. You look tasty as all hell.” He says, his eyes focused solely on your lips as he pulls you a little closer. With a small laugh, you pinch his cheek: “Aw, thank you, Kookie! I bought it today and I think it’s already one of my favourite dresses.” Looking over the younger man’s shoulder, you see Hoseok, slowly meandering towards where the two of you are standing, an angry frown on his face. You’ve seen Hoseok angry many times, but he’s never been this… possessive about you. So you decide to save Jungkook from your old friend’s wrath. With a featherlight touch and a big smile, you remove his hands from your waist and decide to show off your favourite part of the dress. Twirling a little to show off the flowy skirt, you bump into Hoseok, his muscular arm suddenly on your shoulder. “How ‘bout some water for the baby? I don’t want them to not let him into the club.” He smirks at you, teasing his friend with the loathed nickname. “Oh come on, you know he hates that nickname. Don’t be a dick just cause the alcohol has you feeling possessive all of a sudden.” A playful hit against his side, a smirk and you leave Hobi alone too. You don’t know what’s gotten into you as you sit down next to Tae instead, his calm energy a much needed relief from the tension between you and Hoseok as well as Jungkook and Hoseok, who are still in the kitchen, lowly arguing it seems. A few minutes later, the boys come to join the rest, Hoseok with an almost triumphant looking smile on his face as he winks at you, the younger one avoiding your looks as he plops down next to Jin, a glass of water in his hand. Hoseok takes his place standing behind you, one of his hands lightly massaging your neck, as he tends to do so often. As you lean in to the touch more, ignoring the looks from your friends, Hoseok suddenly speaks: “Okay my dudes and dudette. Next bus downtown goes in 15 minutes. I wanna go to a new club, is everybody ready?” The guys whoop with excitement in answer, already moving to chug their drinks or fix their outfits and hair. You just lean back further, smiling up at Hobi, who in turn winks at you, letting go of your neck to boop your nose. “Get your stuff, I don’t wanna miss the bus. I need your help herding these idiots.” You decide to borrow Hoseok’s leather jacket since you’re dressing for coverage rather than warmth. It’s early summer so the nights are warm but walking around in a revealing dress is still not a great idea, even if you’re accompanied by 5 men. As he sees you adjusting your bag over the bulky jacket, the look in his eyes is anything but platonic. His eyes full of hunger, a blush creeps on your cheeks, making you have to turn away from him before you make your way to the apartment door. “Ok fellas, is everyone ready? Then let’s go.” You hold the door open as they all make their way out, each with a drink for the way to the club in their hand as you hear their conversations and laughter sound through the corridor while they make their way towards the stairs. Last one out is Hoseok, who waits until everyone has disappeared into the staircase to pull you back into the flat and slam the door shut. Before you can say anything, his hands are cupping your cheeks, his eyes suddenly soft. “Please don’t go home with anyone else tonight, y/n. I like you. Just come back home with me. Please.” He’s… begging you. The surprise must be written on your face, a dry laugh escaping his throat as he continues: “You didn’t know? I have liked you for years…. You know, they say alcohol makes you stupid or brave. I guess it’s made me stupid tonight.” He pulls away, running his hands through his hair as he turns his back to you. “I never meant to ruin our friendship, I am so sorry. Just... forget what I said… I just thought.. After today...After the song earlier... And then the dancing… That maybe I am not completely delusional in hoping you might see me as more than just a friend. I am sorry, y/n.” He rambles on, clearly distressed by your silence. “Alcohol makes you stupid or brave. That’s what you said, right? Then look at me Jung Hoseok. Don’t just assume you know my answer after dropping a bomb like that on me.” With a sad laugh, he turns to you, his hands on the back of his neck as his eyes are wide with emotions and alcohol. You take a step towards him, a tentative smile on your lips before you pull him towards you by his T-shirt. Your lips crashing into his, you feel a smile spread across his lips and his hands grabbing at your waist. Finally pulling apart, both of you laugh. And then his phone rings, which only makes you laugh harder. With a small peck on your lips, he accepts the call, a broad smile still on his lips. “What is it Jimin?” You can hear the other man’s answer as he must be yelling into the phone. “If y’all wanted to get us out of the flat so you could fuck you could’ve just said so. Now come down so we don’t miss the damn bus. I am not waiting a half hour for the next one.” Hoseok's eyes widen, the realization of the time already stressing him. “Oh crap, we’re on our way.” Hoseok grabs your hand as he shoves the phone in his pocket with the other hand, takes out the keys and locks the door behind the two of you without letting go of your hand for a second. After a quick look at your shoes he grins at you. “Good, you can run in those. We only have 5 minutes until the bus comes, and I really wanna dance with you at the club as soon as possible.” You laugh and after another quick peck, the two of you are almost sprinting down the stairs.

[turtle-inserts]

1. You Meet (Raph x reader)

The reader is a master of mixed martial arts, traveling around the world to train and learn different forms of martial arts with her father all while battling a severe illness in their lungs. How will they react to their buddy April going missing?

I walked in NYC, missing my friend April. Recently she'd gone missing and just as I got back home too! When I heard her dad had gone missing I was still on my training trip in the Himalayan Mountains so I couldn't even try to help her feel better! I felt bad for her since we've been friends for quite a while. I've met her dad several times and it's obvious they had a great relationship. Poor April, she was so devastated. I remember reading the letter she sent about what happened. There were water marks on it, as if she had been crying while writing it.  

       Why did bad things happen to good people? I sighed and put up my hood to cover my hair; I had just dried it and didn't want it to get frizzy because of the humidity and rain. I began thinking about my trip, it was fun, but a lot of hard work and my "condition" didn't help at all during those tough days. I went around to different countries studying different forms of martial arts with my father and competing in tournaments.  I was really good at Muay Thai, a form of kickboxing using the elbows and knees frequently.  I enjoyed learning other types but, Muay Thai is definitely my favorite. I had studied karate, taekwondo, kickboxing, regular boxing, and many other martial arts. Along with that, I had to run several miles a day and sprint for at least 500m of it. So yeah, I felt pretty safe wandering New York City by myself. If I couldn't fight them I could outrun them.

       I let my mind wander as I roamed the streets. I started school soon but didn't want to, I was 16 but I already had all the education I needed, my father hired a tutor to travel with us and, despite the long and tiring hours I spent training, he did NOT go easy on me! That cold hearted bastard, I hope he burned in hell! He graded harshly and had no mercy for my poor spelling at the age of 10. I spelled one word wrong and BAM, automatic 10 points off! Now if you asked me to I could spell to you almost any word AND tell you what origin it was. It's a pretty useless talent if you ask me. I also could tell you every chemical in the human body, as well as do a college math problem in my head fairly quickly. More useless talents. World History and Language were the only courses I liked. Language was interesting because you could speak to other people and the amount of people you could converse with rose as you learned more and more. Normally I'd learn the language of the place we were in for how long we were there,  but first, the bastard made me learn Latin! One of the hardest languages to learn! Even though I hate him, I have to admit it does help learn a ton of other languages (considering it is the root of all languages). History was fun since I learned about great people who helped lead revolutions, stop wars, and started different ideas. I have to admit, I liked learning about Buddhism, but the whole "no fighting" thing was definitely not going to work for me.

       My dad was the one who first got me into martial arts. He used to have a dojo in the city but he went bankrupt when my mom passed away. We were homeless for a little while then my dad had the opportunity to fight in a martial arts competition and won!  He kept winning and we finally had enough to get an apartment. By then I was ten.

       I was finally returned to reality when I spotted some familiar ginger hair. I began to follow her, realizing it was April. What was she doing roaming freely? I thought she was missing! She kept looked behind her; didn't she recognize me? Soon I saw her pull out her phone and call someone. Her whole body language screamed nervous and scared, very un-April like. Soon she began to jog, or maybe that was her sprint, I wasn't too sure but I followed after her, keeping a steady pace.  I ran in front of her to grab her and the single most unholy noise came from her mouth so I covered it and ran, I would save her from her kidnappers but my lord she needed to stay quiet.

       I was about to stop and tell her it's just me but something small and sharp flew past my face, stopping me from going any farther. I glanced at the object embedded into the wall next to me, a ninja star? "What the hell," I murmured. I noticed April was struggling, I knew I needed to reveal myself soon, but now her attackers had caught up! I started to run again but four people were in my way.  Stopping dead in my tracks, I let April down; I couldn't fight with her in my arms. For some reason she ran to the mysterious figures. Okay. They definitely weren't kidnappers, "What do you want with April!" one of them yelled to me. As they walked into the light, I could see these mysterious  better. I realized that it was some weirdo in a turtle costume, wearing a blue bandanna. The costume wasn't bad either. It would've had me except turtles don't become humanoid. The blue bandanna asked me again, "Why are you following April! Are you teamed up with Shredder?!" I just stared at him, who was Shredder? I opened my mouth to explain the situation when another one of them whizzed by me and stood behind me. Bad move.

       By instinct I body flipped him and twisted his arm painfully behind his back. I heard the orange one cry out from the pain, "Mikey!" The one in purple yelled. He leapt into the air and was going to bring his staff down on my head, but I ran forward and somersaulted under him as he jumped. I saw the confused look on his face right before I got up, grabbed him by the neck, then bashed his face into the cement until he looked to be unconscious. His mistake was not getting up right away and staying crouched for a second too long. I felt a hand grab my shoulder and rip me away.

       Whipping around I took a boxing stance and began punching the guy in the face, gaining ground and finally I kicked him away. The blue one went flying. The red one was the only one left, but I could see the others beginning to stir. My opponent got out two sai-blades and ran at me, yelling like a maniac. He swiped and stabbed as I dodged, he was a little stronger than the rest of them so I actually had to try not to get knifed. I saw something orange run past me once again but felt something cold wrap around my ankle as well. My eyes widened as I felt a sharp tug and fell, my hood falling to reveal my face. I heard April  yell something to her guard dogs, hopefully for them to lay off ‘cause I was starting to get pis-. Pain. An intense pain pierced my side as I collapsed into a heap on the ground. I was getting cold and felt myself fading fast. All I remember is April screaming at the red bandanna and everything going black as I rapidly lost blood.

~~~~APRIL' P.O.V. ~~~~

I screamed for them to stop when I realized who it was fighting the turtles.  Raphael must not have heard me since he stabbed her. "RAPH! What part of don't hurt her don't you get!"

"The ‘don't hurt her part’." I groaned, how could he be so incompetent!

Michelangelo went over to her unconscious body and said, "Woah, dude is a dudette..." I ignored him.

Donnie got up with a groan and walked over holding his head. She had really done a number on him, his face had cuts all over and looked like it was going to bruise something fierce. I was worried he might even have a concussion! "April you know this psycho?" I shot him a glare and he cringed.

"She's a good friend," I mumbled and looked back at her unconscious body.

"Yea, such a good friend you called us begging for help, since she was stalking you."  Raph didn’t look amused, standing with his arms crossed and glaring down at her.

"I couldn't see her face...." I told them meekly,

"What do we do with her now?" Mikey asked.

"We need to take her to the lair. I know Master Splinter won't be happy, but we have no other option, I don't know where she lives and she's bleeding badly...." I looked at her body and panic spread through me like ice. She was bleeding out too quickly for us to be standing around chatting!  "We need to go! Now!"

"April's right, and Raph since you did the stabbing, you get to carry her back,"  Leo said.

Raph groaned, "Fine." He grumbled as her picked up her body. We ran back to the lair.

---------------------------Normal POV----------------------------

       I woke up in an unfamiliar room. I was on a sofa of some sort and the room smelled slightly of sewage, not too strongly though or I might have gagged. Looking around I saw a T.V. across from me and, what I assumed, was the exit to this place.  I tried to sit up and felt a sharp pain in my abdomen. I decided getting up wasn't a good idea. I laid back down and let the events of last night play through my mind. Oh, yeah. I was stabbed by the red weirdo in a turtle costume. The thought that my attacker could be here worried me so I ignored the pain as I got up and I headed for the exit. Suddenly the light turned on behind me and red was there. He looked at me and took a step towards me, getting close enough that I could punch him, so I did. He held his cheek where I had hit him.  "JESUS CHRIST, " he yelled, " WASN'T HURTING ME YESTERDAY ENOUGH FOR YOU!" I kicked him in the side which made me wince and he growled. Why was his side so hard? All of a sudden 4 other people were in the room, one of them April, actually she's the only face I recognized.

I immediately ran to her and hugged her. "April! Where am I!"

"Well-"

"Who are these weirdos!"

"Hey!" They yelled in unison. She looked down at my stomach and sat me on the couch while she got out a first aid kit.

"I can do that myself you know," I told her.

"Just shut up and let me explain." I raised an eyebrow and lifted my shirt so she could replace the bandages already there.  "Well, the one with the red mask is Raphael," crazy stabby guy, " the one with the blue is Leonardo, the one with the purple mask is Donatello,and the one with the orange mask is Michelangelo." I realized they all were named after famous artists, which was kind of cool. What wasn't so cool is one of them stabbed me! She finished my bandages and stood up, "Any other questions?"  

"Uh, yeah. Where am I? Why are you guys wearing costumes? And who's this Shredder person?"

The orange one, Michelangelo, answered my first question, "You're in the T.L." The T.L.? My confusion must've been pretty clear because the weirdo decided to elaborate. “The Turtle Lair dude! Our super awesome secret hideout full of gadgets and gizmo, super-duper awesome fights, and of course the best skate park!”

Donatello shook his head, "He means our lair, and this is our home. And by the way, these aren't costumes. We're actually mutants."

I nodded, "Sure, sure, and I'm a mutant monkey." I rolled my eyes, "I'm not dumb. Turtles don't get this big."

"They're not joking," I looked at her quizzically.

"We're mutants," Stabby pants told me.

"Oh...." Well, this just got weird fast.

"Just, 'Oh'? No screaming or freaking out?" Leo asked. Oh yeah, I totally was, but only on the inside.

"Nah. I mean, I've fought a Yeti on a mountain, so this is pretty low for me on the freak out scale." I lied to them, trying to keep calm. The Yeti thing was true, but I was definitely freaking out.

"Oh." He said. Was he disappointed? As the awkward silence continued I remember the blue one- I mean Leonardo, asked if I was with Shredder. Who is that? Better to ask now rather than later.

"So who's Shredder?" I listened as they explained who he is and what he's done, and by the end I didn't have a very good impression of him. "He doesn't seem like a very good guy.  Neither do his cronies or these weird brain aliens.”

"They’re not," they all said at once. After yet another moment of silence, Donatello spoke.

"So, uh, why did you kidnap April?"

"Yea, I was wondering that too..." said Michelangelo.

I smiled sheepishly, "Well, you see, April had been considered missing for a few weeks now so when I saw her I thought she was escaping from her kidnappers. I thought I could help her escape faster if I "helped" her. Turns out she was just hiding from that Shredder guy and the alien things..."

"I thought you were a stalker.... and a guy..." April said. Fucking. Christ.

"Gee, thanks O'Neil, I love looking like a dude, ya know?" I smiled as I said this annoyance spreading through me.

"Actually, I was surprised you were a dudette and not a dude," said Michelangelo. The others nodded in agreement. I felt myself getting annoyed, it wasn't my fault the sweatshirt’s baggy!

"B-but once I saw your beautiful face I knew it was you, so let's change the subject okay?"

I rolled my eyes at her blatant lie, she was just trying to make up for what she said. "Yea, that's right. Better start sucking up to me." At that she left to god knows where and left me alone with these weird turtles.

I sighed and Leo asked, "So, you know who we are, but who exactly are you?" Oh, I never realized they didn't know my name.  I assumed April told them. Guess not.

"My names (y/n), (y/n) Timber. My friends call me Cas though." I told them tucking a loose piece of my hair behind my ear.

“Why do they call you that?”

April spoke up, “Well when we were little she would creep around and scare people, like a ghost. But she’d always feel bad and try and make it up to the other kids so we started calling her Casper the friendly ghost, which was then shortened to Cas.” I nodded to confirm.

"So where'd you learn to fight?"  Donnie asked.

"Hey, why'd you twist my arm like that earlier. It really hurt..." Michelangelo said.

"And you bashed my face in the pavement..."

"And sent me into a wall."

"Let's not forget you just punched me in the face and kicked me in the side,"

I stared at them, then pointed to Michelangelo. "You crept up behind me and it was an automatic reaction, after that... well, I was kind of defending myself then. And stabby-"

"It’s Raph!"

I nodded, "Right, I didn't know you and all I knew was that you stabbed me, so I attacked you."  I said all of this then smiled apologetically.  "I'm sorry I hurt  you." They looked at me surprised, what did they expect me to say, sucks to suck? Jeez, I'm not heartless, I do feel bad about beating up the people who helped me. They could've just left me on the street, I doubt April would let them but still.  I thought I should thank them too so I did. "And thanks for taking care of my pal April here. Oh! And for not leaving me to bleed out and die on the street."

They nodded and mumbled things which I assume was they accepted my apology and Michelangelo sat on the floor in front of me, "So where'd you learn to fight?" He asked. Oh, yea I never answered that question earlier.

"Well, I've been traveling with my dad around the world learning different martial arts."

Leonardo seemed to perk up, "I noticed you use your knees and elbows a lot." I nodded.

"It's called Muay Thai, or Thai Kickboxing, it specializes in using the knees and elbows, two of the hardest parts of a body, to strike blows on your opponent."

"And what was that when you punched me in the face and kicked me away?"

I smirked, "Boxing. What do you guys use?"

"Ninjitsu," he answered.

"I had a feeling that's what it was, I recognized it from while I was in Japan for a few months."

"Woah, you went to Japan!" Michelangelo looked amazed that I had been so far away.

"Well, yeah. And other places too."

"Where else?" Donatello questioned sitting next to Michelangelo.

I thought for a second then answered, "All over Asia, Europe, Africa, South America, and North America." I watched their eyes widen in surprise.

"Wait, so you've been all over the world?" Leonardo asked sitting next to his brothers.

"Well.... I haven't been to Hawaii, or Alaska, or some parts of Canada."

"Don't forget Iceland," April said sitting next to me. I hadn't noticed her come back, but I appreciated her handing me a mug of hot chocolate.

"Oh yeah, I haven't been there yet either."

"Yea but you've still been everywhere else!" Michelangelo said practically bouncing up and down. I laughed, it seemed this... turtle mutant was easily impressed. I certainly didn't mind.

"Yea I guess I have." I took a sip of my hot cocoa. Soon I was bombarded with questions from the three of them. Stabby pants wasn't anywhere around. After a while, I finally asked them a question, "Why are you guys so curious about other places?"

"Well..." Leo started.

Cutting his brother off, Donnie finished his sentence for him."We've only been around New York City, nowhere else."

"Yea, Splinter was all, you may not go up there, you are too young and inexperienced. But one day he finally let us go topside," Mikey continued. I wondered who this Splinter guy was. Maybe their dad? He must be a huge turtle...

"Oh, that makes sense. Have you ever been to the statue of liberty?"

Donnie shook his head, "No, we only go topside during the night, it’s too risky if we go during the day. And it’s too far away."

I looked at them like they were crazy. "You live in New York City, people are dressed in weird costumes all the time. The most people will think is that you're a group of weirdos."

"But who'd actually think we're just in costumes?" Leo asked.

"Well, when I first saw you guys I thought you were a group of geeks dressed up as some group from a video game or something." Something moved, catching my eye. It was Raphael, he must've just gotten back from wherever he was hiding out.

"The only geek here is Donnie," He said as he walked closer to us.

"HEY!" He shouted as the others laughed.

April shook her head. "It’s okay Donnie. I don't think you’re a geek." She told him. I noticed the light pink blush on his cheeks as she told him this. Oh? April noticed my hot cocoa was gone. "I'll go get you more." I smiled and said thanks as she got up and left. I was curious about Donnie and April's relationship so I asked a very simple question.

"So Donnie, you like April." Okay, so it was more like a statement. I watched as four heads whipped in my direction. One of them was very red with embarrassment.

"Who told you!"

"No one, I had a sneaking suspicion. You just confirmed it though."

"Idiot..." I heard Raph murmur.

I looked at Donnie and smiled, "I promise I won't tell her."

He sighed from relief, "Was it that obvious."

"Yes," I and three other voices said at once.

Soon April was back with my hot cocoa and I grinned. I didn't mention to Donnie I was pretty sure she liked him back. In one of her letters, she wrote to me about a boy around the same age as her. Apparently, he had a gap in his teeth that she thought was, "too cute." All of that description matched Donnie, except she said he wore a black bandana and had black hair, the rest was true though! We were all laughing and talking when I heard a voice speak from behind us.

“My sons, what is the meaning of this? You’ve brought another stranger into our home?”

“AH! SPLINTER!” Mikey shrieked and stood. His brothers and April quickly followed suit.

“S-Sensei! We can explain-“Leo started but his Sensei cut him off. I was scared so I just sat there perfectly still.

“Are you going to introduce me so I can learn about our new friend?” The brothers calmed down a little.

“So, um, is that their dad?” I whispered to April. She nodded. I took a deep breath tried to straighten my clothes before standing up to meet this giant turtle for the first time. After all, first impressions matter. I finally turned around and boy oh boy, that was definitely not a turtle. The tall rat-man smiled at my shocked expression.

“Expecting something else?” I could only nod. He chuckled, “Welcome to my home. I have seen your fights on the over the past few years, it is an honor to meet you.” I blushed from embarrassment and bowed.

“No please! The honor is all mine. Anyone who trained these guys totally deserves my respect.”

“Wait, Sensei. How have you been watching her fight?” Leo had asked, but I could tell it was a question on all their minds.

“Leonardo, you have watched her fights with me, you and your brothers.” Wait. What?  They've watched my tournaments? Mikey let out a loud gasp.

“OH MY GOD! YOU’RE-YOU’RE”

“The Timber Wolf.” Donnie finished his brother’s sentence. He seemed in awe of my nickname. I looked at each of the brothers. Leo stood there with his mouth open, Mikey jumped up and down excitedly, Donnie looked surprised, and Raph? Well, he seemed to be rather pale.

“Yep. That’s me.” I smiled meekly, so what if I had won the past 2 international no holds barred martial arts world championships, and over 15 various junior tournaments. No big deal right? I was just flattered they watched my events!

“I didn’t know you guys watched those too!” April yelled. She always watched my events; even if she was swamped with homework she always made an effort and called me during the commercial break. She helped me get through so many losses earlier on in my career. That’s why I traveled so much. My dad was my manager and originally fought in the adult competitions at the same time I had my junior ones, but now he was running his own business. He makes martial arts videos for YouTube. He took his work wherever the nearest tournament was and had me learn the martial arts during the off season. I had been doing this since my mom died and I wasn’t tired of it yet. I always loved fighting in tournaments, the rush of adrenaline as you sock someone in the jaw was great. The only reason we had come back home was for the tournament nearby and so I could hunt down April. A junior competition for boxing was taking place in a month, but my dad still hadn't come back from the Himalayas so I would be home alone for the next week and a half while he finished up there.

“Raph how did you not recognize her! You watch her fights more than the rest of us!” Mikey’s screeching brought me back to earth.  He watched my tournaments, huh? How cute. Letting out a yawn as I sipped my cocoa, I listened to the brothers freaking out and asking me questions.

As I finished drinking my second cup of hot chocolate, I began to get sleepy. I'm guessing April noticed, because she got the brothers to leave and told me to go to sleep. "Yes mother," I murmured sarcastically and laid back down on the couch, my head on a pillow. April pulled up the blanket I'd kicked down in my previous sleep and soon I was soon fast asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Hi! Thanks for reading the whole chapter despite how long it is! I started writing this in 2013 or 2014? I only had written the first 2 chapters of this story before setting it down to stew for a while. I picked it back up when season 4 started airing because my love for the show was reignited. This chapter takes place during season 2 of the show when April is hiding from Shredder/the Kraang. I think... It's been a few years since I started this.

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[themaraudingmisfits-blog]

Advice you probably shouldn’t take

DISCLAIMER: The following decrees are spewed by the mind of a highly unqualified twenty something who has zero knowledge about philosophy and even lesser tact or wisdom to dish out sappy quotes and is totally against self help books and thinks rainy days in her jammies with hot cocoa is what it feels like to be “zen”.

Since I don’t have a fairy Godmother who turns pumpkins into carriages, life sorta continued sucking till I learned these things the hard way and I though hey, why not bug you guys with it and maybe some unhappy soul  who is ambling around in this big bad world might actually find it useful but then again since it’s me, it’s advice you probably shouldn’t take...

#1.My first decree to all you humans and non -alike-THOU SHALT BE AWESOME!!

Don’t ever be any less!!

Don’t go down gently!!

Be relentless!!!

Raise hell!!

To all the haters who tell you to be less weird or less loud or to live by the rules or to be part of the flock…tell all of them to fuck off!!

We struggle with the whole of our being to get through each day, with bad coffee and late passes and F’s on pop quizzes and broken hearts , why make it harder than it already is by trying to fit in? Why be a different you? Why must you listen to the dont’s and the cant’s and the shouldnt’s  and all those other frownie words?

Take your life by the reins and charge into the world with your oh so special souls coz you have one freaking life and you have to make it count as the sparkly person you are!! Be proud and awesome!

Be confused, be gay, be a lesbian, be emo, be a blob, be anything and want everything because you deserve nothing less and you are enough for yourself!!

#2.QUIT

Whaaat?? What is this crazy chick saying? The whole world tell me to keep going, to keep trying ,quitters never win and all that bull and one fine day she comes along and tells me to quit?

Yes, I just told you to quit.

Quit doing what you don’t like LOVE !!

Don’t do it coz your best friend does it, or it’s been in the family or that’s what your sister majored in. Stop taking those guitar lessons you hate, you don’t have to watch GOT or listen to profane songs or put on make-up. Stop doing all those things unless you absolutely sure as hell love doing it. Coz you’ll have been whiling away your time, missing out on things you love. Do you really want that for yourself?

If you dont’ stop now then soon you’ll be stuck at a desk job typing in numbers and missing out on doing some volunteer work or taking snake charming lessons or gorging on barbeque flavoured bagels in Northern California so quit now and run off , getting the hell away from what was holding you back,

 #3.It’s okay to say NO!!

I’m one of those people who cannot CANNOT say a decent NO to anyone even if it means doing something that makes me miserable or if it means having to walk an extra kilometre to go get that person’s favourite kind of popsicle even if she’s been a total bitch to me my whole life,I multi task, I take on stuff, a gazillion things with the complete knowledge that I know I won’t be able to go through with it but I’m going to use my yet to be discovered powers and what happens at the end? I mess up, I’m unhappy and grumpy and I compIain about what was originally my fault because I was a wimp who couldn’t muster up the single syllabic no.

But you know what? You are not super human, most of us are struggling to be barely human, we cannot do everything, that whole “anything is possible if you believe “ is total BULLSHIT!! It’s not, you can’t complete your assignments and study for that test and still have the pulsating energy for that party next door. So don’t go for it unless your brain says HELL YEAH!!LET’S DO IT!!

#4.PEOPLE  HAVE  EXPIRY DATES!!

Yea you heard me right...I said people not the can of soup that has been growing some sort of suspicious looking green stuff(which by the way you should stop hoarding!!).

Not worth it to-be stuck in a unkind, possessive , abusive, snarly ,jealous ,selfish…basically pick any word from Webster’s which associates itself with a generally unhappy state of mind relationship…those people should be dead to you by now.

IT’S TIME FOLKS!!IT’S TIME TO MOVE ON!!

Move on from friends who treat you like crap, from boyfriends who treat you like crap,from girlfriends who treat you like crap…you are not crap!!

No more abusive words, no more long sleeved sweaters to hide your black and blue skin, no more should you feel unloved, unwanted or undesired, no more lying and tears. Let’s not make our lives into a second production of sad soaps coz grass is definitely greener on this side of life where there’s only love, trust and respect and smiles from the very few who count.

So get off that curvalacious ass of yours, leave all that rotting people baggage behind for good with no guilt stricken conscience and start walking away while humming HAKUNA MATATA!!

#5.Dont strain those emotional brain muscles!!

Overanalysing?

Thinking so hard that you have that constipated vegetable look on your face? Sleepless nights? Heated discussions where you take advise from a gazillion other people who think they know what’s good for you?

Should I say yes to that guy?

Should I order that scrumplicious looking doughnut or go for that equally yummy cupcake?

Pink or blue?

STOP!!

As my dog-loving-only-chicken-eating(coz chickens don’t have brains)friend(after this maybe ex-friend) would say..go with  your instincts!!

You’ll screw up! Probably the very next decision you take after this will turn out to be a hot mess and you’ll want to kill me but atleast you’ll know never to do it that way..I now know that I shouldn’t ever wear pink after a horribly etched in my memory photoshoot, prawns make me nauseous after the embarrassing barfing incident at an upscale Chinese restaurant ,I shouldn’t ever have anything to do with technology(I go in like god-freaking-zilla and I step on it or break it or submerge it…)

I’m never a 100% certain about my decisions but they’re mine and I take sole responsibility ,no blame games for me.I stopped overthinking, I go with the flow now, I’m impulsive and rash,I don’t agonize over things anymore and it’s made life SOOOOOO much easier, more time to add the I should never do this list.

I’d be lying if I said that I don’t think and take crappy advice AT ALL ,but I’m better, instead of spending a week now I take like two days.Hey, maybe I’ll get better one day...

#6.Love the hot boiling mess that you turn your life into!

YOU SCREWED UP??? What the hell is wrong with you? How could you mess this up? Weren’t you thinking straight??

Dudes and dudettes, I’d ask those same questions to the ones who don’t screw up and pack them off to the nearest loony bin.

It’s okay to screw up…it’s normal.

Everyone around you telling you to be a proactive fixer upper?

Being asked to take responsibility ?

To stop moping around and take action?

BACK OFF!!Those people are the emotionless Umbridges of life.

You messed up? Big fucking whoop!! You don’t have to pick yourself up, take all the blame, find a solution and make things right and still have the energy to carry on. If that was the case then I’d be able to do impossible things like solve the mystery behind the Bermuda triangle and lift Thor’s hammer, but there’s a reason why I don’t do these things, because they’re impossible!!

You let things go down to shit? Be upset, cry, bawl your eyes out, don’t talk to people, eat that monstrous bucket of chicken, do what you have to, feel better. You feel better now?

Pat yourself on the back and slowly pick yourself up from that slough of despair , surround yourself with friends who back you up no matter what and try to sort things out and if not then have the heart to let go and  most importantly, even if you don’t fix things, FORGIVE YOURSELF.

REPEAT THE PROCESS AS AND WHEN NEEDED!!

#7.You feel it? Then show it!

Don’t ever hold back on what you’re feeling, let it all out.

SHOUT OUT AND CELEBRATE!!SQUEAL AND JUMP AROUND AND SMILE LIKE CRAZY AND CRY...

Embrace those happy moments!! Be excited, unreasonably so. Feel ungraciously happy, weak in your knees happy, fist pumping, bursting out of your seams happy. It’s okay to be happy.

CRY. Wring out those tear ducts, let those waves of sadness keep coming, heart breaking sobs, it’s okay to cry.

BE ANGRY.BE FURIOUS.SCREAM if you have to, throw things around, don’t hold back on what you have to say or do.(DO NOT DECAPITATE ANYONE)

Be ANYTHING you want to be, because the right ones who care will understand and they WILL stay.

Cut yourself some slack guys!!You’re worth every bit of love and all the cuddly puppies in the world. Forgive yourself. Hug yourself. Take time off. Stop chasing people and their dreams, start chasing your glittery dream, even if it’s to finally go get some milk from the grocery store or do some late spring cleaning or to land that long dreamt of position as chief editor and love love love and forgive forgive forgive, yourself and everything.

All this might not really unveil answers to the unsolved mysteries of the universe..where do all my pens keep disappearing or who ate the last cookie in the jar..but it helped me through a lot of shit, made me deal with life a lot better than before and made me fall in love with myself all over again, and maybe just maybe you might take up some of this or even smile and THAT my dears, even just a tiny smile will make ALL the difference.