#here’s to endings and beginnings and opportunities and mostly goodbyes that are really just see you laters

[oheck-trainwreck]

Thanks for the memories Bad

Thanks for the memories Dapper, and Pomme, and Richas

Thanks for the memories eggies and admins

Thanks for the memories CCs

Thanks for the memories update admins, and builders, and every every everybody who helped with this project so far.

Here’s to what we had, and here’s to everything that’s yet to come.

Here’s a couple songs. I can’t particularly explain why they’re here, but you can probably extrapolate. Words are hard right now.

[ethereal27cereal]

Lover’s Lake - Eddie Munson Plus Size Female Reader Series

series masterlist - part 5/?

summary: The long awaited beach day is finally here! You and Eddie spend a fun filled day in the sun, sharing bits and pieces about your pasts, and wind up thinking about the future together. 

warnings: Adult themes and content so MINORS DNI! mentions of previous smut and sexual experiences, use of the word fat (not used in a derogatory or bullying way), mentions of terminally ill parents, mention of childhood trauma (Eddie’s), let me know if I missed anything

genre: mostly fluff, mentions of smut

word count: 9.4K

author’s note: This took forever and a day to finally finish, but here we are. Thank you to all the lovely people who put up with me bitching and moaning through writing this part, I’m eternally grateful for your suggestions and support @boomhauer @kissmecaiti @wtf-lindsay @babys-interior I kind of left this one on a cliffhanger smut-wise because I didn’t want cram more in for what I have planned, but there will be some spicy stuff at the start of the next part, I promise. Any feedback or comments are always appreciated 💕

The porch light flickers overhead, casting dancing shadows across Eddie’s pale features as you lean in closer to his chest, both of you a bit unsure of how to proceed with goodbyes. Should you hug? A friendly wave? Would a kiss be too much? You stare up at him expectantly, absently licking your lips and hoping maybe he will get the hint.

His Adam's apple bobs as swallows a harsh gulp, clearly trying not to stare at your wet and inviting lips. The finger he has curled under your chin strokes a slow path along your jaw, trailing down the curve of your neck to rest tentatively on your shoulder. His plump lips quiver slightly, a silent question waiting on his tongue as he gives in and flicks his gaze down to your lips. 

Am I being a hypocrite if I kiss her right now? I just got done with saying how I didn’t want to end the date on a sexual note, but fuck me, those lips. I need to kiss them again. And Christ, they would look so good wrapped around my cock…shit shit shit, don’t think that. Fuck she’s staring at me. Say something, something normal!

“I like your shirt. It’s really soft,” Eddie blurts, rubbing his fingers against the soft jersey knit. That’s normal, right? Her shirt is nice, just don’t think about what she would look like taking it off…fuck. Get it together, Eddie. 

“Umm, thanks,” you smile shyly, bringing a tentative hand up to Eddie’s chest to trace a finger along the outline of the smiling devil on his Hellfire shirt.

“I’ll meet you at the lake at 2?” Eddie’s words come out as a nervous half statement, half question, focusing too much of his attention staring between your soft lips and your twinkling eyes and trying not to bash his head against the wall again as your fingers swirl absent patterns along his chest.

“2 sounds perfect…” you begin, trying to read into his warm brown eyes. 

“You can kiss me, you know. I promise I will keep my hands mostly to myself this time,” you suggest with a smirk, biting your lip and putting both hands up on his chest where he can see them and splaying your fingers out like you have nothing to hide. He blinks rapidly, a boyish grin spreading across his face before he leans in, lips so close to yours you can feel the flutter of his warm breath fanning across your cheeks. 

“If you’re sure you can behave yourself… I will do my best to be a gentleman because, god, I want to kiss you again,” he whispers, his bottom lip catching against yours with each drippingly sweet syllable. You nod and smile sheepishly, taking the opportunity to press your body flush against his. He stifles a groan and gives you a warning look, that you simply return with a flutter of your eyelashes and a pout of feigned innocence before capturing his lips against yours in a feathery soft kiss. 

His heart pounds in his chest, attempting futilely to keep the kiss gentle, but a lava begins rising in his belly when your tongue languidly sweeps against his bottom lip. His whole body tingles when he parts his lips to let you in, mouth filling with flames at each gentle explorative swipe of your tongue against his. In a moment of heated boldness, you crawl your fingers up his chest, lightly brushing over the delicate skin of his neck before tangling into the soft curls at the nape of his neck and giving a gentle tug. 

Something deeply carnal in him lurches to life and Eddie groans against your lips, gripping your waist a little too tightly when his knees nearly give out. Wildly unaware that you pulling on his hair could ever illicit that kind of overwhelmingly fiery feeling. The newly awakened molten beast inside him claws against his ribs, chest tightening, begging for you to do it again. 

Emboldened by his reaction, you repeat the motion, teasing your fingers into his scalp as you pull a little harder this time. His back arches instinctively, releasing a soft moan that you greedily swallow down, hungry for him to give you more. But your senses come back to you with sudden clarity. You’re meant to be behaving. Not inciting a riot of the senses with kisses and touches that make you both feel like ripping each other’s clothes off and fucking right on the front porch. 

With a sudden pop, you pull away from the kiss, knowing that if you stay there any longer you might find yourself back in the same situation you’d been in not more than twenty minutes ago. Fondling through thick denim, grabbing, groping, hasty in your race to the finish line. Old habits die hard apparently, especially when that’s what you’ve been told that’s all you’re good for. 

You release your hold on the back of his neck, offering a gentle pat pat to his chest before bouncing up the last step to the door. Eddie watches you glide away, collapsing back against the wall and bringing a sweaty palm up to his forehead. 

“Christ, that was um…thank you,” he mumbles, an adorably dazed and confused look glazing across his soft features. You giggle, fiddling your key into the large brass doorknob and turning back to face him, not quite sure what he is thanking you for, but feeling giddy from his response all the same.

“I’ll see you on Sunday at Lover’s Lake at 2,” you reiterate with a sweet smile, letting the heavy front door rest against your hip. 

“Sunday at 2, I’ll be there,” Eddie promises, shakily coming to a full stand and backing off the porch. “With a picnic basket in hand, dressed in my best swim trunks,” he adds excitedly, catching himself before he almost trips over a potted plant. 

“Good, I can’t wait,” you grin, suddenly feeling anxious about the fact that if Eddie is going to be in a swimsuit, that means he will see you in one too. 

“Me neither,” he admits, again narrowly dodging another terracotta pot as he takes a few more steps backwards down the path leading toward his van. 

“Goodnight, Eddie,” you giggle, slowly stepping inside the dark doorway. 

“Goodnight, Y/N, sweet dreams,” Eddie replies, offering a sweet wave before turning to walk the rest of the crushed gravel walkway. As you go to close the door, you catch him fist pumping the air, a whispered “yes” hissing through the silence of night as he reaches the front of his van. You can’t help but let out a laugh.Eddie whips around at the sound, a shy grin on his face. 

“Just pretend like you didn’t see that,” he assures, patting his hand definitively on the hood before shuffling backwards toward the driver’s side. 

“See what?” you shrug your shoulders innocently. He beams and points a knowing finger at you. “Goodnight, Eddie,” you repeat. 

“Goodnight, sweetheart,” Eddie says, maybe a little too loudly before hopping into his van and rumbling down the quiet street. 

~*~

Everything about the guest room feels swelteringly warm and it’s making sleep impossible. You’ve already thrown off your sheets and stripped down to nothing but your underwear, but it still feels too hot. You toss and turn, trying to muster the energy to get up and open the window, but your body just sinks further into the mattress with exhaustion. Every other part of you feels physically ready to sleep, but your mind is buzzing. Maybe from the heat, but mostly from the constant whirring thoughts about Eddie and everything that has transpired in just a few short days, completely altering the entire trajectory of your summer. 

When you had agreed to come stay with Holly, you weren’t really sure what to expect. You’d known some of your time would probably be spent helping out around the house and taking care of things. Since Holly’s father had been admitted to the hospital with his health taking a serious turn for the worse, Holly’s mother, Jen, had become a bit of an emotional wreck and that left Holly alone to pick up the pieces. So you tagged along blindly, helping Holly make sense of everything while still hoping for some time to catch up on a few books, see a few movies if there was a local theater, and just experience the slow down of a small town summer. 

Not in your wildest dreams did you expect to meet someone like Eddie. Charming, mysterious, boyishly handsome with an endearing honesty that knocked the wind out of you sometimes. With his sweet, albeit slightly daunting and unfamiliar words from just a few hours prior rolling around in your head, a relationship with you, you’re trying not to get carried away with fantasies about what the rest of the summer with him could be like. The rational part of your brain is screaming, balking at the fact that you’ve only known him for only two damn days and that he still could just be playing you for a fool. But the soft gentle place deep inside your heart that has been told to be quiet for so long is set to burst with all of the potential romantic dates and outings you might get to experience for the first time with Eddie. 

Shaken from your thoughts by the uncomfortable beads of sweat forming on your chest, you get up to open the window, hoping for a little bit of cross breeze when you hear someone slowly stomping up the stairs. The house had been quiet and dark when you’d come in, no sign of either Jen or Holly’s return and you’d figured with it now being 3 a.m. that they were probably both staying out for the remainder of the night. You suddenly begin to fear the worst, panic rising in your throat as you throw on your sleep shirt and grab the heaviest book you can find as a makeshift weapon, ready to leap on the intruder as soon as they make it to the top of the stairs. 

You crack open the door, eyes blinking rapidly in your struggle to adjust to the darkness as you direct your gaze to the figure coming up the stairs. Just as their foot hits the top step, you throw yourself into the hallway, waving your hardcover copy of Lord of the Rings wildly above your head, prepared to bash the intruder with a book, brilliant plan. 

“I have a really heavy book and I’m not afraid to use it!” you yelp in warning just as the intruder lets out a very familiar sounding scream and trips forward into the hallway, knocking you down along with them. You fumble around on the floor before hopping up quickly and flicking on the hall light. 

“Holly?” you splutter, looking down at the girl still struggling to stand up, a hiccupy mixture of laughter and tears bubbling out of her. You reach down to offer her your her hand, dropping the book to the carpet near your feet with a gentle thud

“Jesus Christ, Y/N, you scared the shit outta me,” Holly wheezes, gripping your hand tightly as she brings herself to a wobbly stand. She shakes her head as she clutches her stomach, finally catching her breath again. “What was your plan there? You were going to knock me out and then what, read me a little bedtime story of Lord of the Rings?,” she lets out another strangled giggle. 

“No, I mean yes, but I thought you were someone trying to break in. I didn’t really have time to think of a plan, so I figured a nice heavy whack to the head with a book would at least buy me a little time. You scared the shit out of me. I thought you were staying at Theo’s for the night,” you explain with a huff. 

“I was going to, but I don’t know, he snores super loud and I couldn’t sleep, so I just drove myself home,” she admits quietly. “I’m sorry it’s so late. Did I wake you up?” 

“No, I couldn’t sleep either. I was too hot. I’m sorry I threatened you with a book and I’m sorry I scared you,” you apologize, hoping Holly may have some newly acquired mind reading capabilities to know that you’re also a little sorry for how nasty you got with her the other day about everything. She is not completely off scott free, but you decide it would probably hurt less to let go of some of her misgivings rather than give up the only real friend you have. 

“I’m sorry I scared you too. And I’m sorry if I overstepped a boundary in our friendship the other day with what I said. I want you to be happy, but when you call yourself fat and keep letting all these garbage men use you and toss you aside for just sex, it makes me angry and I worry about you,” Holly replies as if honing in on some clairvoyant powers, letting everything spill out at once before bringing her thumb to her lips and gnawing on the reddened flesh. 

“But, Holly, I am fat,” you begin, giving her a look of disgusted speculation before she interjects.

“No you’re not, you’re beautiful,” she insists.

“Holly, I’m fat. But fat and ugly are not synonymous. I can be both fat and beautiful at the same time, one does not define the other. It’s not always been easy to see it that way, but it’s true, and I’m genuinely trying to see that more about myself,” you impart, trying not to sound as bitter and jaded as you feel. The nagging voice inside you bites and screams at this positive revelation, trying to conjure up other ways to take you down, but you hold your ground. 

“I guess I’ve just always heard it as a negative. I know words can hurt and I guess I just thought I was being helpful by glossing it over and avoiding talks about your weight, but I can see how that isn’t really very validating either. I fully admit that I don’t understand it, I don’t really think I ever really will fully be able to, so just tell me what I can do to be supportive and I will do it,” Holly clarifies hurriedly, pausing her incessant chewing on her thumb to gauge your expression. 

You swallow harshly, bile and the bitter sting of jealousy burning your throat on the way down. Holly really would never get it. And maybe that is okay, but it still hurts. She has never had an excess pound of flesh on her in her life and she always has a steady stream of men begging for her attention. Not just for sex, but for romance and relationships and real love. She gets flowers and chocolates on Valentine’s day, gets taken out for fancy dinners, and she gets told she’s beautiful and there’s not even a ‘but’ to follow it up. 

Holly has the choice of whether she wants to have men for just wild random sex or for a meaningful romantic relationship. She’d had several opportunities to settle into something real with several excruciatingly nice guys, an opportunity you would’ve leapt at, but she decided to turn it down in favor of sampling all her options, just because she could. She accuses you of choosing trash men, but she does not have a perfect track record of picking winners every time either. She has dated and slept around with her fair share of losers, but maybe the fact that she can bag Prince Charming tomorrow if she wanted makes it more okay for her to do so. She is always treated as a priority, never an option. And that’s just a possibility you have a hard time fathoming for yourself.  

Your feelings for Holly always mingle somewhere between heartfelt admiration and intense loathing. She’s the best friend you’ve ever had and know that she would do just about anything in the world for you and you would do the same for her, but it will most likely be a cold day in hell before the creeping green glow of jealous doesn’t flicker behind your eyes every time you see another pitiful man fall for her waifish charm. 

“I don’t really know what to say, or how to say it,” you begin, still unsure of just how to get past apologies, but the unwelcome tears of frustration welling in your throat have you wishing you could just get through a difficult conversation without crying for once.

“And I hate to admit it,” you try again, sputtering out a wet laugh and shaking your head. “But you were right about a lot of it, everything you said before. I have let some really trash men into my life because that is what I thought I deserved. And then when I realized that even though they didn’t really like me, they liked having sex with me, I felt like that was what I was supposed to do,” you explain, deciding it is a better route to admit your wrongs and start fresh rather than hold on to bitterness. A choked sob slips from your lips, echoing through the dimly lit hallway and Holly reaches out tentatively to pat your shoulder, a silent expression of concern pinched on her soft features. 

“It’s proving to be kind of a hard habit to break. The whole ‘men only want me for sex so find the fastest way into their pants’. It kind of bit me in the butt tonight. But I’m really trying to have it be different this time,” you shrug and sniffle, biting at your lip to keep more tears from coming. 

“What do you mean ‘different this time’?” Holly ponders. You collect yourself with a deep breath, attempting to put the right words together to explain how things were going with Eddie without sounding horribly cliche. 

“With Eddie, I mean. It just feels different. Probably because he is different,” you sigh and shrug again, cringing a little at just how trite you must sound, “ I’m still trying to get used to him saying nice things and seemingly meaning them without any ulterior motives. But tonight he told me that he wanted more than just sex,” you admit softly, leaning against the wall as a sudden weight feels like it is lifted off of you. 

“So more than just sex, as in anal sex. Damn, I knew that boy would be freaky,” Holly deadpans, snapping her fingers and ribbing your side playfully. 

“Jesus, Holly,” you mutter, bringing your palm up to cover your face, hiding the involuntary grin that is taking over your features. It feels nice, nice to tell her these things again, and you feel your cheeks twinge from the strain of smiling so hard. 

“Seriously though, that’s like a really big deal,” she replies calmly, even though she looks like she’s about to burst at the seams with pent up questions she’s just dying to ask. 

“Go ahead, I can tell you have lots more you want to say or ask so just hit me with it,” you retort and she jumps up and down with delight, letting out a little girlish squeal as she grabs both your shoulders tightly. 

“Oh my god, okay, yes. First let me get out of these stupid shoes and we can get more comfortable. Sleepover in my room?,” she babbles, chewing her lip nervously with her final suggestion. You nod with a smile and follow her eagerly as she bounds into her dark room, lacy shadows etching the cotton candy pink walls when she flicks on her bedside lamp.

Immediately toeing off her shoes and shrugging off every layer, Holly slips a thin frilly nightgown over her head and leaps onto the bed, always seemingly unfazed by getting undressed in front of you. Trying to be just as unfazed by the unfamiliar sisterly intimacy, you tug at the hem of your well worn sleep shirt, pulling it down to cover the thick expanse of your soft thighs as Holly burrows under the covers and pats the spot next to her for you to hop in. 

With her pleadingly gentle eyes, Holly asks you to tell her everything you’re willing to share.So you tell her. Everything. Every stupid little detail from every last minute with Eddie comes pouring out of your mouth, things you didn’t even know you have been feeling, all spilling out of you in a babbling rush. How Eddie wants to be in a relationship. How you’ve invited him to Lover’s Lake, and how you are a little nervous about him seeing you in your swimsuit, but you’re beyond excited to spend the day with him. You fully allow yourself to gush about him freely, without indulging the fears that swirl in the pit of your belly, silencing the creeping crawling voice inside your head that only wants to make you feel small. 

You tell Holly everything that’s been weighing on your mind until you’re practically blue in the face and the pinky yellow hues of sunrise are streaming in through the curtains. And she listens. Doesn’t pass judgment or offer many opinions, but wholeheartedly listens. Waiting with bated breath for each new detail that you reveal and trying to stifle her yawns when her bedroom bursts with glittery rays of light. For fear of waxing poetic and getting ahead of yourself, you try to ignore all of the overlapping metaphors of a new dawn with your new sense of self, and settle into a deep sleep as the sun bathes the room in a soft warm glow. 

~*~

It’s 2:25, actually 2:28 because your watch runs slow. But either way Eddie is late, and you are trying not to work yourself into a tizzy about it. You attempt to focus your attention on reading The Princess Bride again, pages roughly curled back under your fingers as you tug the oversized beach towel around your shoulders tighter, but your eyes keep flicking up to scan the clearing in the trees that has been made into a makeshift parking area for any sign of Eddie’s van. 

Lover’s Lake beach isn’t really much of a beach, rather just a thin stretch of pebbled shoreline where the trees don’t grow as thickly. Summertime sunshine packs the little oasis with families, teens, and everyone in between, all looking to escape some of the heat without the chemical chlorine burn of the local swimming pool. On your previous visits to the lake, you’ve always opted for a more secluded area of the shore, trekking through trees until you find a nice rocky outcropping to settle on and occasionally dipping a toe or two into the water. 

But today, Holly insisted on getting to the beach early, claiming she wanted to get a good spot and didn’t want to do your usual hike through the woods to find one. So you’ve been sitting alone for nearly an hour, trying to tune out the incessant giggling as Holly fawns over Theo’s exceptionally bronzed and hairy six pack. He’s been playing a game of tossing her into the water for the last 20 minutes, and you swear if you have to hear another one of her girlishly playful protests you’re going to drown them both. 

Shortly after arriving, you had been a little too eager to strip off your cover-up shirt and shorts, thinking you might get a touch of sun before Eddie arrives, but the small beach is a little too crowded and you don’t feel like making comparisons with all the other well-tanned and toned bodies lounging around in the sunshine. So instead you curl up on a blanket, cocoon yourself in terry cloth, frumping as you read, despite the gloriously sweet scene between Buttercup and the man in black unfolding before your eyes. 

The man in black has just revealed himself to be Buttercup’s long lost farm boy, Westley, and they are about to enter the Fire Swamp, but all you can think about is the very real possibility that Eddie has stood you up. He was early when he’d picked you up for Hellfire, and you had reminded him at least twice that you would be meeting at 2, so where the hell is he?

You groan and try to focus harder on the words on the page, if you can’t have romance then at least Buttercup gets to. You’re so focused on focusing that you don’t even hear the gentle shuffle of pebbles on dirt as someone approaches your cozy beach set up. 

“As you wish. Such a great book,” his soft lilting words shake you from your concentration as you look up to see Eddie, offering a soft smile and a stilted wave as he proudly displays a rather sizable picnic basket, precariously balancing a small cooler against his hip. You try to smile back, but your frustration at his tardiness must be evident as his smile fades and he tugs his bottom lip anxiously between his teeth. 

“I’m really fucking sorry I’m so late, sweetheart. I had everything all set up and then forgot that I don’t own anything even remotely close to a bathing suit, so I had to borrow one from my buddy, Steve, and well…” he trails off, slowly moving aside the picnic basket to reveal what you can only imagine was his last possible resort for swimwear. 

Eddie is wearing a blindingly bright pair of swim trunks that only go down to his mid thigh, leaving a rather shocking amount of his pale hairy legs exposed. A chaotic splattering of neon pink, green, and orange shapes fight for space on the black polyester fabric, a blur of triangles, trapezoids, and other shapes you can’t possibly recall from 10th grade geometry. It’s the type of design that will make you dizzy if you look at it for too long, but it’s incredibly hard not to stare. You attempt to focus on the pops of light pink squiggles that overlap the shapes like little bits of confetti, but you find your gaze darting up and down the expanse of his legs, a little too eagerly soaking in the sight of all of his newly exposed skin. Eddie shifts uncomfortably in front of you, and clears his throat. 

“We have very different styles, my friend Steve and I,” he mutters shyly, setting down the picnic basket and cooler but still hesitantly standing in front of you. 

“Well I think you and Steve should swap clothes more often, I think you’re rocking that look. It’s a bit confusing with the Black Sabbath tee, but you pull it off,” you wink, all of your resentment about his lateness fading away. 

“Oh yeah? I’m glad you like it,” he replies weakly, cheeks flushing pink with the compliment. He glances down at your towel shrouded frame, saying nothing, but smirking when he sees you start to shrug the towel off your shoulders and scoot over to make room for him on the blanket. He silently sits down cross legged next to you and begins to open the picnic basket. 

For a man who looks like he sustains himself on microwave meals, gas station hot dogs, and most likely toxic amounts of Mtn Dew, Eddie has put a surprising amount of effort into packing and preparing this kind of spread. He pulls out a small stack of individually bagged sandwiches, each of them delicately sliced along the diagonal with little peeks of various fillings spilling out. Next, he displays an array of chip varieties. Classic Lays, Doritos, and salt and vinegar in a neat row with their foil packaging reflecting in the sunshine as he moves on to unpack a few assorted bundles of fruit and other various snacks. He pops open the cooler to reveal layers of soda, ice, and beer, the cans already beginning to bead with condensation. 

You give him a look of astonishment, trying not to get emotional over how much thought he has clearly put into all of this. He catches your eye and shrugs, mumbling something about how he didn’t know what everyone would want so he just went all out. Eddie settles himself into the blanket further and tugs his shirt off over his head to reveal more of his pale skin. Quickly trying to memorize every freckle, scar, and tattoo scattered across his chest, your eyes flit across his alabaster torso, picking up on details that you couldn’t make out before in the darkness of the back of his van. Sinewy muscles flex as he leans over to collect the assortment of sandwiches in his large palms, holding them up to you in a display against his solid chest. 

“I have peanut butter and jelly, ham and cheese, tuna salad, and turkey,” Eddie’s voice thick and deep as he catches your roving eyes in his soft brown ones. You select the peanut butter and jelly and he chooses the ham and cheese, wasting no time ripping into the salt and vinegar chips and adding a layer of the chips to his sandwich. You tentatively bite into your sandwich, not bothering to wait for Holly and Theo to join in on the picnic while it’s fresh since they seem to be in a world of their own. Peanut butter sticks to the roof of your mouth, gumming up your words as you look over at him in speculation at his interesting sandwich creation.

“Is that good?,” you scrutinize, swallowing down the thick glob of sandwich before speaking. 

“It’s really good, you wanna try?” he replies, cheeks full of food as he eagerly waves the sandwich over to you. You politely decline, preferring to keep your chips entirely separate from your sandwich. You both enjoy the picnic spread in relative silence, offering a few bits of small talk here and there with how he spent the rest of his work week and what you have been getting up to in your spare time. 

“So The Princess Bride, I’ve read that book about a million times. Did you know they’re making a movie based on it? It’s supposed to come out this September,” Eddie inhales the last bite of his second sandwich and taps at the tattered cover of the book sitting next to your thigh. 

“It’s probably one of my favorite books. I’m excited to see how they’re able to bring it to life on screen,” you share, trying not to sound too over eager about this new found shared interest with Eddie. You polish off the last handful of your Doritos, dusting the red remnants off your fingers before taking a swig of ice cold soda, bubbles and emotions fizzing down your throat. 

“We should go and see it together, when it comes out,” he suggests, slowly glancing up at you and then busying himself with packing away the rest of the picnic lunch so it stays fresh for Holly and Theo. 

“But by September, I’ll be back in Indianapolis, at college,” you reply gloomily. You have been trying to have a positive spin on this whole summer relationship thing, but the reality is that in about two months' time, you will be back to the drudgery of regular life and Eddie will stay here in Hawkins. 

“I will come and visit you then. Take you out on a nice date to some fancy big city theater and we can make a weekend out of it,” the words and ideas tumble out of Eddie’s mouth before he has a chance to catch them. He immediately looks down at his neon swim trunks, tugging at the drawstrings and hoping he hasn’t just scared you off as one of his fantasies of a future with you slips out. 

He means what he says with all his heart, but he’s having a hard time figuring out if you feel the same way. Eddie feels constantly baffled by your desire to get into his pants, not that it’s an inherently bad thing, but he’s worried he will only end up disappointing you. His efforts to slow things down, though coming from a genuine desire to form a real connection with you, stem from deeper fears of inadequacy than even he would like to admit. He knows as soon as he has the opportunity to bury his cock deep inside you, he will be too far gone in his feelings for you, making it even harder to let you go when you inevitably get tired of him. All that compounded on the fact that he’s not even sure his 30 second fumble in the front seat of his van with an overzealous groupie even counted as a real first time. Was it really losing his virginity if he was too terrified and high to come? He doesn’t know the answer to that question, or how to feel about how he stole your panties like a truly sex-starved virgin and then jacked off to them, just further solidifying the pervy behavior. These thoughts rattle around his brain and leave his insides doing knots, making it so each new moment with you feels like he is well beyond his depth. 

From the brief allusions you’ve made to past relationships and your seemingly open forwardness, he assumes your sexual experience is vast miles beyond his, a daunting possibility that has him over analyzing his every move. The other night in his van was only the third time he has ever done anything like that, his efforts to be smooth and experienced coming out as silly one liners and what he was sure was desperation, begging for cuddles post orgasm. Since then, he’s been fighting the urge not to pop a boner if you even look at him, feeling so needy for touch that he has to steady himself from passing out whenever you so much as brush your hand against his. A battle between his sexual and romantic inexperience and his ever present self-loathing rages on his mind, and he doesn’t hear you the first few times you try to get his attention back. 

“Eddie? Did you hear me?,” you interject his thoughts and he snaps out of his reverie to see your soft face peering over at him. 

“Sorry, my brain croaked for a second. What’d you say?,” Eddie shakes his head and smiles, trying to bite down his nervousness as he waits for the answer to his suggestion of a fall weekend together. 

“I said I would really like that. Having you come to visit and seeing the movie with you, that would be really nice,” you answer shyly. You would be lying if the promise of seeing him through September didn’t make your brain go haywire, but you are trying to play it cool and casual, as casual as someone can be who feels like they’re on fire. 

He grins and looks down, clearly lost in his own thoughts again. As he focuses on the dizzying pattern on his shorts, you find your eyes studying over his frame again. Memorizing the soft frizzy curls that cling to the back of his neck, the light dusting of freckles that dot along his shoulder blades, inky creatures you hadn’t noticed before traced in delicate lines over the expanse of his back and sides. You notice along the peaks of his shoulders, down the length of his arms, and the bridge of his nose are no longer the glowing pale white they were when he arrived, but rather a glaring angry red as the sun beats down on his exposed flesh. 

“Eddie, did you put on any sunscreen before you came?,” you quiz gently, reaching out to feel the burning warmth of his bicep under your fingers. He shakes his head and studies your expression. 

“No, I don’t even think I own sunscreen. I don’t see the sun very often, as you can tell,” he holds up his arm and glances down at the fiery red skin, muttering an ‘oh shit’ as he discovers just how burned he is getting. You quickly rummage into your bag and grab out the sunscreen, figuring that while it might not be of much use now, it will at least keep the still pale parts of him from getting scorched. You shrug your protective towel around your shoulders and position yourself behind him.

“You’re turning into a lobster, here let me help,” you offer, squeezing the white lotion into your palm and rubbing your hands together. He shivers as you begin to rub in the thick, cool lotion, carefully brushing his hair out of the way before smoothing circles over the angry skin on his shoulders and covering every inch of his back. You shuffle around to kneel in front of him, squirting more lotion into your hand. He sits up on his knees cautiously to expose more of himself, tilting his chin up and holding in a shaky breath as you rub the lotion down his arms. You push his curls back and begin a steady path over his shoulders and down onto his chest, rubbing in the lotion there and moving south to cover the soft expanse of his belly. He inhales sharply when your fingertips trail down along the waistband of his swim shorts, and you take a moment to look up at his face, only to see his eyes squeezed shut and his bottom lip tucked between his teeth. 

“You look like I’m torturing you. Everything alright?,” you pause your movement, letting your fingers hover over the flaming sword tattooed on his hip. He gulps and opens his eyes, pupils dilated to wide inky pools as he stares back at you. 

“I’m good, great. It’s just…cold,” he insists, offering a halfhearted thumbs up and trying to steady his breathing. He shouldn’t be this worked up over you rubbing sunscreen all over him, but the fantasies are running rampant in his mind and before he even has a chance to think of something else, his dick is solid as a rock and throbbing against the constricting mesh lining of the swim shorts. 

“”You almost done?” he asks with a wince as you press your palm fully against his hip to rub in the chalky streaks you’d left behind. You hide a smirk when you glance down to his lap, not sure if it was the pattern playing tricks on your eyes or if you saw the hard outline of his cock twitch against the fabric.  

“Almost done, let me just get your cheeks and nose,” you giggle, smearing a small glob of lotion on your fingertips and bringing it up to his face. If he looked like he was being tortured before, he looks as though he’s being full on dismembered now. He scrunches his face in a horrible grimace and automatically flinches away from your touch as your fingers dot against the apples of his cheeks, trying to rub in the lotion despite the hard lines and creases his pinched expression is causing.

“Try to relax a little bit though. If I can’t rub it in well you won’t be a lobster anymore, but you’ll end up looking like Casper the friendly ghost,” you warn, and he grins, more wrinkles forming on his face before he lets out a puff of warm air and tries to calm his features. With his cooperation, you quickly rub in the rest of the white smears across his cheeks and smoothe down the strong line of his nose before giving it a little boop as you finish.

“There, all done. We just have to wait a little before getting in the water for it to soak in,” you settle back into your spot on the blankets and wrap the towel back around your shoulder again, still not ready to show off the full glory of your swimsuit until you are able to quickly disappear into the water. 

Eddie finally opens his eyes and turns to give you a dramatically pained look before taking a long swig from his soda and staring off over the water. You’re both silent for a moment, watching the gentle lapping waves on the shore, until with a burst of jumbled words, you both try to speak at the same time. You both politely encourage the other to speak first, his long fingers tucking a curl of hair over his chin to hide the flushing heat rising in his cheeks.

“I was just going to ask if you’d been to the beach a lot when you were a kid, since you grew up here. What were you going to say?,” you ask shyly. Eddie’s lips press together in a thin line, as if debating the question he’s going to answer first before speaking. 

“I was going to say did you know that most lobsters are actually brown, orange, or blue and it’s the boiling process when we cook them that breaks down their hard outer shell and leaves just their red skin showing,” he blurts, diverting entirely from your question, and from his own original thought as well. He was going to say what a nice time he is having spending the day with you, despite his own skin boiling like a lobster’s and being slathered in chalky sunscreen, but that sounded lame the more it swirled around in his brain, and he didn’t even know where to begin with your question. 

Sure, sometimes I came out here as a kid when my dad got too drunk and violent to be around and my mom was too sick to get out of bed and do anything about it. So yeah, loads of happy lakeside childhood memories to share. Nope, not on the third date at least. Since he couldn’t share all that, the first thought that pops into his head is a benign memorized fact. He has several just like it for moments like these in particular, he’s learned it’s better to baffle with bullshit and divert away from the hard questions rather than share things that might leave him feeling a little too vulnerable, might make cracks in the hard exterior he’s worked years to build. 

“And are you like the lobster in this scenario? Your pasty white outer shell being boiled away by the sun to reveal soft squishy red skin,” you tease and poke your finger into the ticklish flesh at his ribs, hardly missing a beat with his off the wall remark and quickly deciding against pressing him to answer your initial question. 

“I mean, sure, if you want to get all metaphorical with it, I was purely just filling you in on some interesting marine creature facts, princess,” he replies with a wheezing giggle as he dodges away from your wiggling fingers that are going back in to tickle more. 

“I’m feeling like I’m about to cook like a lobster too, you ready to get in the water?” you emphasize your point by fanning a hand in front of your face, dramatically letting it fall to rest on his bare knee. He nods in agreement and quickly hops up from his spot 

With a shaky deep breath, you stand up from the blankets, letting the towel fall at your feet in a more dramatic reveal than you intend, but all the same garnering an appreciative gasp that Eddie tries to cover with a forced cough. You fight the urge to wrap your arms around yourself to hide all the ripples and rolls you’re sure are highlighted through the thin spandex as his eyes rake over your body, a dumbfounded look twinkling in his chocolate brown eyes. 

“My god, you look amazing. You look beautiful...that swimsuit..it..just…wow,” he rambles, nodding vigorously and puffing out his cheeks as he lets a thin stream of air fizz out of his pink lips. 

You smirk in reply, feeling a heat rise to your cheeks as you smooth out the delicate layers of ruffles that cascade down vertically from the deep v neckline, clearly some designer’s futile attempt at creating slimming angles in addition to the all over black color of the suit. It isn’t the worst bathing suit on the market for larger bodies, but it certainly isn’t the fashionable high cut red bikini that Holly is sporting. The plunging neckline does wonders at enhancing your already ample chest, and the ruffles actually do a little something to accentuate your waist, but it still feels utterly too exposing, even in front of a man who has already seen you naked. 

“Ready?,” you raise your eyebrows in question and nod towards the water. 

He nods, smiling dumbly and pulling his gaze away from your breasts. Before giving him a chance to reply, you dart off towards the water, shouting a teasing “race ya” behind you as you crash into the cool lake. You wade backwards into the shallows, watching as Eddie frantically kicks off his shoes and nearly falls on his face as he hops on one foot to yank off his socks. Finally just in his swim trunks, he scurries in after you, quickly catching up to your slow drifting pace into deeper water. 

“Hey! Not fair, you were already completely undressed and had a head start,” giving an exaggerated pout before grabbing onto your waist to gently tug you back to him. Your feet shuffle on the silty lake bottom and you press against his chest.

“Fine, fine. We can do another race then. I will race you to the jetty out there,” you resign with a smirk, pointing off to the floating dock that’s bobbing up and down about 100 meters in the distance. 

“Unless you’re feeling particularly inclined to give me CPR today, I don’t think that would be a good idea,” Eddie chuckles lightly, but a look of panic that flashes in his eyes tells a different story. 

“Alright, I won’t use CPR as an excuse to kiss you then. I’ll do it just because I want to,” you giggle, moving slowly against the weight of the water to place a chaste featherlight kiss to his soft mouth.Your lips hover tentatively in the wake of his warm breath, waiting to see if he will come back in for more. With a soft moan, Eddie’s lips meet yours again in a deeper, hungrier kiss. His large hands squeeze at your hips as he nibbles gently on your bottom lip, your bodies slowly rocking with the motion of the current. He releases your mouth slowly and leans his forehead against yours, a million thoughts racing through his head, but none of them coming to the surface. 

He silently pulls away, fearing that if he looks into your eyes any longer he will most certainly spill way too much information. About how silly he feels for missing your kisses after just two days apart, about how he’d let you drown him a thousand times over if he got to wake up to your lips against his. Much too much too fast, so he says nothing, opting to hold your hand gently in his and tiptoe deeper into the water. 

“Do you not know how to swim, or is this one of the areas that Eddie Munson is not naturally talented in?,” your voice soft as it breaks the silence, licking your lips as you manage to catch your breath again. 

You turn to wade backwards slightly a step ahead of him to test out the depths, still holding on to his calloused hand as the water level rises higher up your chest with each step. You take a step backwards and suddenly feel nothing beneath your feet, finally reaching the plateau of where the sloping shallows become drastic depths. Bobbing on your tiptoes quickly to keep yourself from going under, you press against Eddie’s chest to stop him. 

“I know the basics, I guess. I, uh, didn’t exactly learn how to swim in a conventional way,” Eddie remarks, settling lower in the water so it tickles the tips of his curls as he thinks back. His eyebrows knit together for a moment, like he’s remembering something unpleasant before his features smoothe over again into a soft, yet sad, smile. Despite how open he has been with most things, Eddie hasn’t shared much about his past. He has let a few vague stories about his Uncle Wayne slip out, but he’s made no mention of any other important figures in his past or present besides the few friends you had met during Hellfire club, and you are unsure if now is the time to probe into that. 

“So how did you, or um, who taught you how to swim?” you ask cautiously, attempting to gauge his expression for any hint of discomfort, but he’s unreadable. 

 “My dad used to come out here at night to get.. uh…to fish off one of his buddy's boats. He took me out with him one time when I was about 7 or 8, super late at night, he was already…well he uh…he was already in fine spirits before we even got out on the water. We weren’t catching anything and he thought it would be funny if he tossed me into the water and told me to swim back to shore as fast as I could,” he filters out some of the unsavory details and pauses for a moment to look up into your eyes, his soft features clenched into a firm expression.

“I’d only been to the pool maybe once or twice, and never had a swim lesson before, but I made it about a good 10 yards before I started swallowing a bunch of water,” he gulps slowly, as if recalling the cold wet feeling of water filling his lungs. 

“Did he actually make you swim all the way back to shore?,” you wonder softly, squeezing onto his fingers a little tighter than you mean to. 

“No, he let me flail around for a little bit though before he came and hauled me out. So that’s how I learned to swim,” Eddie replies with a passive shrug. He looks down into the water where your fingers intertwined with his, an unexpected smile creeping across his face. With a dramatic flourish, he rolls his eyes back in his head, crashing backwards with a splash before disappearing below the water. 

Bubbles rise to the surface as you wait for him to come back up. By now you’re at least a little familiar with his desire for drama, and this showing seems in line with his behavior, although strangely timed with his previous swimming horror story, but you’re not too worried. Seconds begin to tick by and he slowly releases your hand that he’d been holding, panic suddenly surges through your system as you reach down into the water to yank him back up, completely dead weight as you hold him in your arms. 

“Eddie? Eddie!” you gently pat at his expressionless cheeks, hoping for some kind of response but he gives you nothing. You offer another few frantic taps to his cheeks and chest before Eddie abruptly comes to life, eyes flashing open as he shouts an excited boo. In an instant of sheer frustration and fear that you can’t seem to control, you flail your arms out at him, striking against any part of him that you can reach before he quickly sinks away, hands raised in defense. You stop your assault when he’s out of arm’s reach, uncontrollable tears beginning to stream down your cheeks. 

He laughs playfully as he approaches you again, thinking that he’s just played a harmless little prank until he sees the way you’re visibly shaking in the water. You’re gulping for air as you fight your natural response to being scared, which is always to cry. 

“Oh shit, Y/N, I’m sorry,” Eddie begins before you cut him off.

“You jerk, what the hell was that?,” you croak, futilely wiping away tears with already wet hands. 

“I’m so sorry. I thought you would think it was funny, with the whole CPR jokes and me being a bad swimmer, I thought maybe you’d give me mouth to mouth and then we’d laugh and…,” he explains, terror streaking across his face now as he realizes what a mistake he’s made. 

“Well it would’ve been a whole lot funnier if I didn’t legitimately think you were drowning,” you scoff and try to collect yourself. 

“Huge oversight on my part, sweetheart. I’m really really sorry. What can I do to make it up to you? Can I give you a hug? God, I’m batting 2 for 3 on making you cry during our dates, maybe I can make it up to by letting you drown me,” he babbles profusely, shaking out his wet curls and inching closer to you in the water. 

“I should’ve taken another step back there and dragged you into the depths with me,” you threaten with a chuckle, voice still watery as you stretch your arms out silently for a hug. He immediately scoops you up into his strong arms, wrapping you up tightly and whispering more apologizes into the crook of your neck. “And for future reference, I hate being scared and will slap, kick, and flail to get away from whatever is scaring me, even if it’s you,” you murmur against his collarbone, offering him a warning bite to the tender flesh there.

“Ow, I totally deserved that. And that fact is most definitely noted, no more jump scares, pinky promise,” he pulls away slightly from the hug to wiggle his long pinky in between your chests, you loop your smaller pinky in his, sealing the promise with a soft kiss. 

~*~

The rest of the afternoon passes by in a blissful blur. Cool water ripples over your bodies as you splash and play in the waves, clinging tightly to one another to catch your breaths before floating aimlessly through the lake in a tangle of wet kisses and grasping limbs. Out of the corner of your eye, you notice Holly and Theo packing up their things and leaving the shore. You offer them a wave, but you’re still not ready to leave the warm comforting oasis you’ve found in Eddie’s arms. 

With a great deal of sugared words and convincing, you try to teach Eddie how to tread water at the edge of the drop off. He insists you hold on tightly to his arm to offer support, and you praise the little splashing kicks he makes as he flails them under the water, though he would probably have more success if your usual riding a bike analogy worked since he doesn’t know how to do that either. Despite your best efforts, your teasing payback for his earlier stunt in the form of stories about lake monsters and comments about the murkiness of the water have him leaping back to the safety of where his feet touch the bottom when a bit of driftwood touches his toe. 

In the blink of an eye, the evening sun begins to cast slanting shadows along the shoreline, signaling that it might be finally time to get out of the water. With pruney fingers and aching cheeks from all the smiling, you and Eddie trudge out of the water just in time to watch the sun dip down below the tree line. 

“I know it’s already been a long day, but I’m not ready for it to be over yet,” Eddie begins with a shy smile, picking up his watch from the pile of his belongings and then looking back up at you with hopeful doe eyes. You reply with the same sentiment, but you don’t want to suggest anything that might be considered too pushy or forward. 

“We could go park somewhere again,” he offers, seeing the smirk forming on your lips and immediately backpedaling. “It’s just, most places aren’t open past 9, and so… It doesn’t have to lead to anything, just want to be clear with that. But we could talk more, cuddle, make out a little, but we don’t even have to do that if you don’t want to,” he rambles, word vomit making his tongue tangle as he over explains himself. 

“That sounds great, Eddie,” you reply simply, finding it sweet just how concerned he is with making sure you feel comfortable in whatever situation you’re in together, definitely a foreign but welcome feeling. Eddie helps you gather up the remains of the picnic and the rest of your belongings, practically shaking with nervous energy as he leads you over the pebbled shoreline to his van that’s tucked between the trees.

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If your name is crossed off, I wasn’t able to tag you for some reason. Send me an ask or a comment if you’d like to be added to the taglist 💜

[kuromi-hoemie]

🌻

lol it being completely open ended to talk about whatever i want, i went on a tangent (⁠〒⁠﹏⁠〒⁠) I'm putting it below the read more

i think.. it'll be funny, how when i move and finally say goodbye to this city, people on here who don't know we're in the same city will probably think “what that's where u lived?? why didn't you say anything sooner!!”

buddy i have been here for 8 years and completely lost faith in everyone here, this is a uniquely terrible area with somewhat friendly but extremely impersonal people and i don't care for it or anyone in it anymore!!!!!!!!!!!

i don't want someone to change my mind, I don't want to suddenly find what I'm looking for; I learned a lot professionally and about myself and life in general while living here but its time is up, the people here suck compared to literally every other place I've been to lmfao. I'm sure there's a few gems out there but they aren't worth what it takes to live around here.

when i was trying to figure out where i wanted to move next, I was going to give this place another year since that would arguably the best opportunity I'll have to enjoy it if i move somewhere cheaper (I've had a long complicated journey here).

but then i really thought about it, and being here — trying to chase happiness feels like swimming upstream towards something that's forever just out of reach. and then i thought about the city i decided I'll move to next, and there are so many people there who are always really happy to see me and always inviting me to stuff. and it's not just me, but they're all rly chill with each other and hang together too.

and it felt silly to think of suffering through another year here. why should i fight so hard to find what's already waiting for me somewhere else? life does not need to be this hard and i don't have to suffer another year here actually ✋🏾😭

very cool that i have some mutuals in the area who don't know this yet, but I'm not trying to spend an hour+ in traffic and have to pay to park just to hang out with them lol. wish i knew y'all like a year and a half ago but it's too late for me to really get attached to anything here.

there's literally (1) thing i care about in this city and it's the best friend i have. and being completely real, i love her very dearly but if i felt supported enough as i need from even one person here i wouldn't feel the need to leave. we talk thru text Sometimes very briefly, mostly to just send stuff to each other and ask about hanging out, and we hang like once a month or 1½ months.

like.... this is as good as it gets? 😐 there might be something better but it's going to take a significant amount of time, effort and frustration to find. and i just... do not think it's worth the effort, actually. sometimes taking the easier path is the correct choice.

I've made so so so many friends here that have all fizzled out. everyone I've become friends with will speak to you once a week or two or three maybe. MAYBE!! And it doesn't matter if you sent 1, 2 or 10 messages, it's not just a matter of where you are sending those messages, it doesn't matter what you are talking about or what you may need, you are just not hearing back from them. i could die here right now and no one would even begin to think something might be wrong with me for god knows how long, if ever.

so like. idk. i am extremely over this city and could not be convinced to stay. I'm the kind of person who needs to be talking to 2 or 3 friends every day, i need to be in one or two small but active group chats with people who are dear to me, I need to hang out at least twice a week at one of our places, i wanna go out to something together every two weeks at least.

it just seems like if i move somewhere where people take it a little slower and are more personal, I'll be able to get back into that kind of life i miss. it's so fucking easy to feel like the problem is me somehow until i drive like 25 miles away from here and suddenly the difference is like night and day (⁠´⁠-⁠﹏⁠-⁠`⁠；⁠) like oh i don't suck actually, and I've become much more sure of that over the past year-ish i guess, but the problem still remains and i just have to suck it up until i leave.

also yeah I'll name drop it while I'm at it lol DO NOT MOVE TO SEATTLE 🙅🏾‍♀️ no one here drives, most people hang out in the pay to park/HEAVY traffic areas and everyone here is friendly but VERY very impersonal. if what you want is someone to hang out with every once in a while and to live a hermit lifestyle then it's probably perfect for u but if you want to meaningfully connect with your friends you are swimming upstream here do not do it. this city SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this is the most trash ass city I've ever been to and I've been up and down the west coast and to other inland states!!!!!!!!! this is not normal!!!!! you people are not normal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! people from here get pissy when you bring up the Seattle freeze but it's real actually you guys do suck supremely and anyone from any place with even a shred of warmth between people in its community can tell you that, and i can say that bc i remember how often I'd be willing to say hi back to people when i took public transit and they'd immediately clock that I'm not from here because No One wants to talk to them otherwise.

i don't know wtf the deal is here but i don't need to navigate it or fight it 🚶🏾‍♀️ I'm just moving to the kinda place you can both live and work in, which is what all the other places I've lived at have been like. I'm sorry y'all live like this and think it's normal, but i don't think locking yourself away for weeks at a time not talking to anyone because of depressive episodes and always feeling lonely is like.. normal.. it's not. and you genuinely do have a lot to be fairly depressed about, and so do i tbh and i fight it so fucking hard but I'm just removing myself from this 😶‍🌫️ good bye and good luck.

[twdmusicboxmystery]

11x24: Rest in Peace - First Thoughts

How did everyone like the series finale? I really enjoyed it. There were definitely things that were different than expected. A few things that brought me to tears. But overall, I really did enjoy the way they ended things.

Also, apologies but I don’t have many screenshots yet. Blame it not being able to watch it early. So, my pictures may be a bit random here. 

Mostly, we were right about the little things we predicted, but it’s also true that we didn’t see Beth.

I’m not gonna lie: that sucks. I really thought we’d see her in a coda or something. BUT did you catch the line? The one that clearly suggests Daryl will find love on his adventures? We’ll get to that in a minute.

The other thing is that she went to the after show, but wasn’t really featured on it much. Which also sucks. BUT I’m kind of reading into that a little bit. We saw her and Norman interviewing together on the red carpet, which is kinda huge. (Did anyone else wonder if they coordinated outfits?) It’s almost like they wanted us to notice her, but didn’t want to draw much attention to her, so they didn’t bring her up on stage.

Remember when they did a big show like this pre-S8 for the 100th episode celebration? During that show, Emily and Scott Wilson came up on stage. So, what I will say is that when they DID feature her in the after show, Beth didn’t show up in any episodes after that. So maybe the fact that they didn’t feature means that she will?

I get that that may feel like I’m reaching, but take it or leave it. I get that not seeing her is disappointing, but I’m just not ready to give up yet. We have SO much evidence that her story is entangled with Rick’s and with the CRM, and they really didn’t get to that at all in this episode.

That was actually another thing that surprised me. I really thought we’d see some hint of the CRM in this episode. Okay, as I’m typing that, I realize we did see the helicopter during the Rick and Michonne bit at the end. But that’s not what I mean.

I really thought the CRM would show up at the CW or the gates of Alexandria so Daryl and co would actually be aware of them. But that didn’t happen. And all that means is that it’s still coming. And if Beth is with the CRM, then she’s still coming.

We have so many loose ends to tie up. We still don’t know who Legs is from Red Machete. Still haven’t see the missing 17 days. Too many things we haven’t seen, and SOOO many coming spinoffs in which we might see them. So again, I’m not ready to give up.

The other thing is that AK has said several times that they really didn’t want to do TOO much to kick us into the spinoffs. Obviously with Daryl leaving at the end, they’re setting it up. But AK said they really wanted to tie it up neatly and have a good ending for the flagship show. I’ll admit I was skeptical about whether they’d actually do that or not. Simply because they had SO much to cover for the final episode. But…they did it.

And what Angela said might explain why we didn’t see Beth. They just wanted the final episode to stand on its own and not to have something like Beth showing up steal the thunder of all the other actors and characters we’re saying goodbye to. And while OBVIOUSLY I would have preferred to see her, I do understand that sentiment.

As I said, this is just going to be a short post, commiserating with you all about the disappointment of not seeing Beth. And also to tell you I’m not giving up. She’ll show up somewhere in the CRM storyline, and as AMC keeps taglining their promos, the end is just the beginning. We have tons of places and opportunities for her to show, and I personally can’t wait for the CRM storyline. It’s epic all by itself because it’s something that’s been set up since S1, Ep 1. And I believe Beth will return as we finally get to it.

All that said, this episode still had tons of symbolism and foreshadow. I’ll get to that in the coming week. I’m also going to go back, probably to the bonus episodes of S10, and show you the template they set up there, and how we’re just entering it. Diverged showed Daryl and Carol parting ways, and the finale episode is the beginning of that, as Daryl heads off on his own on the motorcycle.

But there was SO MUCH Beth symbolism that came after they parted ways. Which just shows that Beth comes after this.

Okay, but let’s get to that pesky line of Judith’s that I mentioned above. When he’s leaving, he promises to find Rick and Michonne and bring them home. Then Judith says that he deserves a happy ending too. Best line of the entire episode imho. (Well, maybe it’s neck and neck with the Little Asskicker/Big Asskicker line. That one totally melted my heart, too.)

Guys, talking about his happy ending is CLEARLY a reference to his love life and him finally finding his soulmate. And remember that back before S5 began, Gimple gave an interview with Larry King, in which King asked if Daryl would find love in the apocalypse, and Gimple assured him that Daryl would.

Now, I suppose we have to admit that Judith’s line doesn’t prove it will be Beth, but come on. We all know it will be. They set things up too heavily for it to be anyone else.

So, my point is that this is the writers telling us that on Daryl’s adventures after he leaves Alexandria, he’s going to find his true love. And until and unless they clearly show that being with someone else (not gonna happen) I’m waiting for Bethyl a little longer.

How about you?

[letarasstuff]

Unbreakable Bond

(A/N): This is based on this post and this tiktok

Summary: A big age gap between Aaron's children doesn't have to mean that they are unable to form a strong bond

Warnings: Mentions of Haley's death and failed relationships

Wordcount: 1.8k

✨Masterlist✨

_________________________________

His life took turns Aaron never expected. It’s not the “Oh, mh, well that was unexpected”-type of turns, I talk about the “God played Cards Against Humanity with angels and decided to make it happen for someone”-type. But looking back he would not want to change a thing.

After Haley and Beth he was convinced that God, the Universe, something out there shared the opinion that romantic love isn’t the right thing for him and Aaron accepted that fact. Even more when he and Jack went into witness protection. I mean, when you are worried about the life of your family being in danger because of a stalker, you don’t think about the beautiful neighbor, who lives next door, right? Right?

Well, without going into too much detail, Hotch did think about her and she about him and vice versa. Everything went good until Aaron received the message that the team found the stalker and that it was safe to come back. He decided to come clean to his girlfriend. They talked about the possibility of moving back to Quantico.

In the end they decided in favor of the move, the final argument was the surprising announcement of her being pregnant. Hotch wants to raise their youngest where his and Jack’s roots are located. But he decides against taking a position at the BAU, instead taking a desk job in order to be more at home. He also has the opportunity to work from home after little (Y/N) was born and continues to do so until she is old enough to go to Kindergarten. Even then he takes two days the week where he stays home. Aaron learned from his decisions and mistakes he made in the past and wants to live up to them and be a better father and husband than before.

And Hotch keeps it to this day, six years later. It’s (Y/N)’s first day of school, while Jack just graduated high school and goes off to college in a few weeks. Even though they have an age gap from twelve and a half years, their parents are sure there are no other siblings with such a strong bond.

Ever since his baby sister’s birth Jack is her biggest supporter, protector and friend. Her first word was his name, though it was more of a “ACK!”, but that’s the best nickname he ever got. As soon as (Y/N) was old enough to comprehend the concept of movies, he introduced her to Star Wars. Since then lightsaber wars out of cardboard pipes are not uncommon. Last Halloween they even dressed up as Chewbakka and Han Solo. You get three guesses on who was who.

“JACK!” (Y/N) runs into her big brother’s room with an excited expression on her face. “Daddy promised to buy me a real lightsaber after I read ten books! With lights and sounds and all! Isn’t that cool?” Jack smiles. Aaron did a similar thing with him. For a certain amount of books he got a reward they discussed beforehand. This way he felt motivated to read and improved writing and reading skills.

“This is awesome. I think that means we have to go book shopping together, what do you think?” (Y/N) is not only the cool kid that has an older brother, she is also the cool kid, whose older brother has a drivers license, a car and a part time job. She nods with big eyes, speechless, because the offer sounds like heaven to her. Getting books and one on one time with Jack after he was really busy with school for weeks? This has to be heaven.

“Ok, then you put your outside clothes on and I’ll tell Dad about our plan.” At that the little girl rushes to her room, not wanting to waste any more time. Jack makes his way down to the kitchen, where Aaron wipes the table from lunch down.

“Dad, I take (Y/N) to this bookstore in DC and we’ll probably go eat ice cream after that. Is that alright?” Hotch looks up at his son. It still feels like yesterday as he told Haley that Gideon is a big no as a baby name. Now he is all grown up and just a few weeks away from the next big chapter in his life.

“Of course, just let me get my wall-” Jack cuts him off. “No need, I want to use this as a kind of goodbye thing. At least until Thanksgiving.” Aaron knows what he means. It’s his last day before he goes off to college and just a couple more until the first classes begin. The family still hasn’t told their youngest exactly what’s going on. Else she would refuse to go to school and go on with her day, insisting on using all the time they have until Jack drives off.

Two hours later the siblings leave the bookstore, both of them having a bag in their hands. Of course Jack's heavier, but both he and the cashier assured (Y/N) that they lift the same amount of weight.

“Uncle Spence will be excited when I tell him that I read Harry Potter, he told me so many good things about it”, the girl gushes. Jack nods, indicating that he is listening. Of course they also picked books that are not that advanced. Still, no sister of his shall grow up without knowing the beauty of the wizarding world. Also, secretly he is hoping for her to turn out as nerdy as he is so they get more things to talk about. His next step is superheroes, especially the Marvel ones.

They converse until they get to an ice cream parlor and order both their usuals. “Do you think you are ready for me to tell you something important?” The older one asks after they sit down at a table. (Y/N) nods, confusion taking over her face.

“Uhm, you know how I graduated from high school? I’m done with school, but I want to get a degree, but for that I have to go to college. It’s pretty far away so I can’t come home for a few months. But I’m back home when Thanksgiving is and also for Christmas.” It doesn’t matter what Jack says, a sad frown has formed on the little one’s face. “Oh. And after Christmas, will you leave again?” He nods and explains when he is off from college and when not.

“We can always skype and write letters. How does that sound? And when you get your first phone, we can even text.” That (Y/N) lights up a bit. For her first year of school she got a stationary set and is eager to use it to this day.

“I’m going to miss you so much”, she says hugging her big brother. Jack pats her back. “I’ll miss you, too.”

The goodbye the next day is a heartfelt matter. Everybody cries, especially (Y/N). She can’t fathom a scenario where her brother isn’t there for her all the time.

The following weeks are also hard for the family. The youngest refuses to sleep alone for the first three days after Jack’s leave. She is more closed off and mainly just does her school work or reads the books he bought for her. By the time Thanksgiving is only away for another two weeks, (Y/N) has read through all of them at least two times.

Her father already ordered the lightsaber he promised her. Unfortunately shipping takes several months, so the little girl still has to wait patiently for her reward to arrive. In the meantime she works on getting the next and she is already pretty close to the comic book collection she wants.

“Sweetheart, can you set the table, please? Your Mom will be here soon from grocery shopping and she will need help getting them from the car into the house”, Hotch calls for his daughter while stirring in a pot.

The little girl nods, putting her stationary set and pens aside to do as her father asked. She is in the middle of answering her brother’s last letter, telling him that she is now the one that usually has to read aloud for the class because of her advanced skill for a first grader.

Just as she sets the last piece of silverware down the doorbell rings. “Sweetie, can you please open it? This should be your mother.” Happily (Y/N) runs up and turns the door knob. Over the last few months she hit a small growing spurt and is finally tall enough to reach it without standing on her tippy toes.

“Mo-” She nearly chokes on her own saliva. The one at the door is definitely not her mother. “JACK!” (Y/N) runs up to him and jumps onto his leg. “Hey Princess. I thought now that you read your books, we need to hold the most amazing lightsaber fight in history.” With a mischievous smile he pulls two from his back, giving one to his baby sister.

It is the most epic fight in history between an elementary schooler and a college boy. They can only be stopped by their parents announcing that it is a tie between both of them and that they have to sit down, else the food gets cold.

The following weeks mostly consist of (Y/N)’s joyous laughs and cuddling with her big brother. She even insists on him sleeping with her in her much smaller bed. On his last night before going back to college, the little girl turns to him in the middle of watching her favorite movie in the living room.

“Do you promise not to forget me when you are away? Because I alway think about you and tell my friends so much about you. I told them you are a hero, my hero, just like Daddy. They wanna meet you because of that.” Jack has to hold back tears at her statement.

“I also think of you so much. All of my friends at college are pretty jealous of me having such a sweet baby sister. Maybe one time you can visit me and I can introduce you to them.” The thought of that makes (Y/N) smile and is a little consolation to the thought of her brother leaving again.

Aaron watches the interaction going down, happy to see the strong bond between his children, despite their age gap. This is nothing like he and Sean were and that is a relief for him and the worries he had in the beginning. It is a sign that he did do some things right as a father.

Taglist:

All works:

@dindjarinsspouse @big-galaxy-chaos @jswessie187

Criminal Minds:

@averyhotchner @mggsprettygirl @herecomesthewriterwitch @ash19871962 @ellyhotchner

[narcissisticmf]

come back, please | peter pevensie x fem!reader

description: y/n lives in narnia and after the pevensie siblings leave, she feels like her connection with peter was left unfinished. she begs aslan to go see him in his world.

trigger warnings: angst, violence, sword fighting, mentions of anxiety/depression, etc. read at your own risk.

word count: 3.1k

You stood beside Caspian as you watched Aslan stand before the crowd of Telmarines and Narnians. The air was rather brisk that day, you felt your clothed arms grow subtle goosebumps all amongst them. You attempted to avoid eye contact with anyone except Aslan, for you were unable to look to the Pevensie siblings without shedding a tear or two, or many more. You felt Caspian nudge your arm softly with his elbow as a way to comfort you without using words. You forced a small smile to your glossy lips and continued to look at Aslan.

"If any Telmarines wish, I will return you to your forefathers. I'm not referring to Telmar, either. Your ancestors were seafaring brigands. Pirates run aground on an island. There they found a cave, a rare chasm that brought them here from their world. The same world as our kings and queens," Aslan trailed off and continued to explain more about where he would send any of the volunteers.

When he'd mentioned the kings and queens of Narnia, your eyes flickered to the Pevensies. The warmth in your eyes slowly started to grow cold when you locked your gaze with Peter, who looked back at you with a gentle expression. Through your lashes, tears blurred your vision. You felt as though you shouldn't be crying, you did your best to fight it, but the tears continued to trickle down from your waterline, along your cheeks staining your soft skin.

After a family had offered to go through with Aslan's offer, he awaited upon another volunteer. You bit the inside of your cheek, knowing what was coming when Peter stepped forth.

"We'll go," He swallowed thickly, his gaze bounced from Aslan to you.

"We will?" Lucy's voice raised in pitch.

"Come on. Our time's up," Peter released a breath and walked towards you and Caspian. His attention was solely on the prince as he pulled off his sword. "After all, we're not really needed here anymore," He handed the sword over to Caspian who took it in his grasp.

"I will look after it until your return," Caspian spoke with incandescence.

"I'm afraid that's just it," Susan spoke up. You glanced up to her with a knowing expression. "We're not coming back," She finished.

You felt Peter stand before you, but your eyes refused to look up to him. Without making any weeps, hot tears fell down along your flushed cheeks. Your blurred vision caught a glimpse of Peter's hands motion towards your face. His warm palms caressed your wet cheeks, making you finally look up to him.

"Why must you go, Peter?" You released in a soft whisper, nearly inaudible.

"I've learned what I can from this world, Y/N.. it is time for me to live in my own," He spoke gently, a subtle sadness under his tone.

"I will miss you so much," You choked out, in an attempt to keep your voice steady, but you failed miserably.

Peter parted his glossy lips and stared at you with the most comforting gaze you could imagine. He snuck his arms around your shoulders and buried his face into your shoulder, squeezing you tightly. You wrapped your arms around his torso with all the emotional strength you had left in you. You couldn't let go, not until he would first.

"Don't forget me," You whispered, lifting your head up to look at him.

"Never," Peter pressed a soft kiss to your forehead. You fluttered your eyes closed in response and let the warmth from your forehead spread throughout the rest of your body.

You felt Peter pull away, his fingers grazing across your sides as he stepped back, keeping his eyes upon you as he made his way to stand beside his siblings. Caspian and Susan shared a goodbye beside you, but you continued to watch Peter as he did you.

A burning sensation overtook your eyes as you watched the Pevensie siblings make their way between the trees of which Aslan had made for anyone who wished to go into another world. As soon as they stepped between the trees, they disappeared and you were left with your heart sunken into your stomach. More tears trickled down your cheeks as you stood silently watching the same spot Peter once stood.

More Narnians and Telmarines volunteered to go, but not all. Many people chose to stay. You planned to stay in Narnia with Caspian and the rest of the Narnians. You continued to stand still, watching the same place Peter was last seen before he disappeared.

.

The night was rather cold in Narnia, brisk wind and starry nights. You remained in the same spot for hours on end, still staring at the same tree. You hadn't known why you felt so weakened by Peter's departure, but you knew there was no way you'd be able to cope in any healthy manner.

"Don't you think it is time you get some rest?" Caspian's voice was heard from behind you. You couldn't break your gaze from the trees as more tears begun to fall.

"He's not coming back," You whispered through your parted, dry lips.

Caspian begun to walk up along the steps behind you. He stood to your side and followed your gaze to the same tree. "If it makes you feel any better, I am just as unhappy to know that Susan will not be back either," Caspian stated quietly.

"Knowing we are both miserable makes me even more unhappy," You released a soft breath, feeling emotionally tired.

Caspian sighed and continued to stand beside you, for even his company may do some good for you. After hours upon hours of looking through the trees, you broke your gaze and looked at Caspian. His eyes found yours and your parted your dry lips, breathing slowly.

"I've done enough mourning for one day," You spoke, "Goodnight, Caspian."

Starting down the steps, you walked along the stone of the fortress and headed towards your chamber. With sleep, prehaps, you'd be able to regain some emotional strength for the days to come.

.

The sun's rays snuck through the curtains of your chamber and struck your eyes mildly. You groaned and turned over, in no desire to awaken just yet. Your body felt awfully heavy and the skin around your eyes puffed due to how much you'd been crying.

Slowly, you fluttered your eyes opened and felt the mixture of mucus and tears harden along the inner corners of both your eyes. You took your knuckles and rubbed them away, releasing a deep sigh as you did so. You begun to sit up against the headboard of your bed. You pushed yourself off the mattress and walked barefoot about your room. You quickly changed from your sleepwear to your armor. Although not needed, you decided to practice some sword fighting early that day, in hopes of getting your mind off of Peter.

You pulled your boots on over your barefeet and grabbed your sword from the case at the end of your bed. Hurrying across the hall, you made your way out into the field where many Narnians were gathered. You kept your eyes peeled for Caspian, in hopes of asking him to practice with you.

"You're looking well rested this morning, Y/N," The voice of Caspian was heard from behind you, making you jump.

"Don't creep up on me like that," You scolded softly and watched him chuckling lightly. "Mind practicing with me for a little while? I need to get my mind preoccupied."

Caspian nodded his head, "Allow me to get my sword first." You nodded in response and scurried out further into the field, where you both would maintain a harmless battle away from the rest of the Narnians.

Awaiting in the field, you held your sword by the handle, having the blade kiss the grass. The sun's rays were potent that day, the leather armor against your body grew hot against your skin. When Caspian was seen in the distance with his sword and two shields, you released a breath and felt the adrenaline begin to build.

"We can't fight without shields," Caspian offered a grin as he tossed one to you. You rolled your eyes playfully and held up the shield in your free hand. "Ready?" He asked as he stood relatively far from you.

"Are you?" You offered with an evil glint, swinging the blade towards him as he dodged it with his shield. When Caspian tried to strike you from the head, you bent down so that you'd dodge his hit. You took the opportunity to swing your sword at his feet, causing him to stumble backwards.

You stood straight and watched as he slowly got up, swinging his sword towards you from the left and right. A grunt left your lips when your blade came to contact with Caspian's shield, a spark flew off the metal.

You couldn't help but remember Peter, how you and he would often practice together. Mostly because your sword fighting needed some work, but never directly spoke of that. You missed him truly and it grew harder to come into terms with when you knew you'd never see him again.

Caspian's strike to your blade kicked you from your thoughts. You mentally thanked him for that. You let out another grunt and swung your sword to his, the strike so powerful that it knocked it from his grasp. Caspian looked rather surprised and when you kept swinging, he dodged almost every hit with his shield.

You swung beneath his feet, which caused him to jump, swiftly avoiding your hit. You watched as Caspian reached for his sword upon the grass, making you swing to his shield again.

The both of you froze when you turned to notice Aslan was watching over the field at the top of the castle, overseeing all the Narnians. You released a soft breath and slowly brought your blade down, endless thoughts of Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy ran through your mind. You dropped your sword and begun to run back into the castle.

"Y/N! Where are you going?" Caspian called, but you were already hot upon your feet, too fast to turn back.

You scurried up the stairs, making left and right turns until you'd make it to the top, where Aslan stood overseeing everything and everyone. You needed to take the opportunity you had to speak with him yourself. You opened the doors to the top and looked straight ahead, seeing Aslan still there, before the same tree you spent all of yesterday looking at.

"Aslan," You breathed out and watched as his head turned to look at you. His light green eyes found yours, his mane moved softly with the brisk wind. You made your way towards him and stopped once you came to the edge.

"I see you've been practicing on your skill, dear one," Aslan stated, turning his head toward you.

"I need something to occupy my mind," You bashfully admitted.

"Missing them, are you?" He asked, with concern.

"More than I would like to admit."

"I miss them too, Edmund and Lucy will return eventually, in a few years potentially," Aslan continued to look at you, finding your face was written with distress. "What's the matter, dear one?"

"I must see Peter again," You spoke in a shaky tone. "I want him to come back and be here."

"Y/N, Peter has grown and learned all that he could from this world," Aslan said, his eyes softening.

"Can't I visit him in his world?" You spoke gently.

"Yes, but only for a little while," Aslan breathed out.

"How long?" You whispered.

"Two days of their world and then you will return."

You nodded gently, parting your lips as you stared at Aslan. He nodded in response and motioned towards the trees, the wind picked up in and the leaves rustled against the thin branches. You watched with a mesmerized gaze, keeping your eyes locked with the leaves. The color of the sky faded into a dark grey from a light blue. You squinted softly and turned your head to look before you. The road was slick and droplets from the sky fell rapidly down upon the ground. Puddles overflown against the sides of the road.

Glancing down at your clothing, you noticed you'd been dressed in a maroon colored uniform with your hair now straightened against your shoulders. You parted your lips and turned to look around, noticing how busy the streets were.

Slowly, you stepped forth to make sure no oncoming vehicles would hit you, when both sides of thr street were clear, you scurried across and made it to the other end, seeing that many a persons walked about the concrete. You'd been in Narnia so long that you'd forgotten what the streets were like during the daylight. You questioned if daylight would still be referred to as the same despite the gloomy whether that arose over England.

You turned your head to notice several people were exiting the underground railway station. You felt a nervousness grow deep inside your stomach. The center of your palms produced a thin layer of sweat when your eyes were met with four people you knew all too well in your world. You parted your lips softly and watched as Peter, Edmund, Susan and Lucy came up from the staircase and upon the same sidewalk as you had been upon. You were unsure if they'd recognize you, being so far away.

Your eyes locked with Lucy as she turned her head and noticed you. She had a wide grin upon her face as she reached to tug Peter's sleeve, her gaze never breaking with yours. Your lips formed into the most beautiful smile, shining ever so brightly on such a dull day.

When Peter looked to Lucy, she pointed towards you and her eldest brother followed where her finger led to. When his deep blue eyes fell into your warm ones, he froze in a state of shock, but also great happiness as you could tell his smile was rising. You missed everything of him, his smile, his eyes, his voice, his arms and his incandescent attitude. Susan and Edmund were the last to notice you, smiling happily.

You couldn't hold yourself back any longer, you begun to run towards them with pure excitement running through your veins. The adrenaline ran through you like wildfire, spreading about beneath the surface of your skin. The pit of your excitement lied within your chest, where your heart was palpitating like crazy.

"Peter!" You smiled as he started running in your direction. Behind him, the rest of the Pevensie siblings ran to you. You released inhaled deeply once you were close enough to Peter. His smile was wide as he wrapped his arms around your torso, lifting you up and spinning around with a sweet laugh escaping his lips. You hugged his shoulders and buried your face into his neck.

"Ah! Y/N, I missed you," Peter spoke as though a large weight was taken off of his shoulders.

"I missed you.. all of you," You let happy tears trickle down your cheeks as Peter placed you down onto the concrete. You slowly peeled back from him and took Lucy into a hug, along with Susan and Edmund.

"How did you get back?" Susan asked with a grin to her lips.

"Aslan, I will be here in your world for two days," You released a breath.

"Why two days?" Lucy questioned.

"I suppose it has a lot to do with how much I miss you all.. how terrible it was to let you go the first time.. it'll hurt no less the second time," You sighed gently.

You looked from Lucy to Peter with a softening expression. "If it's okay, I would like to speak to you," You mentioned softly.

"I'll catch up with you, wait at the traffic light for me," Peter looked to Edmund, Susan and Lucy as they all nodded and headed up along the sidewalk. You turned to look at Peter, who was already staring down upon you.

"I couldn't bear it," You released in a gentle breath. Peter offered his hand and you gladly took it, feeling an overwhelming sense of butterflies in your stomach. He lead you to a small bench before the road and you took a seat in it, soon after he did as well.

"Peter, I wish you could come back with me," You admitted.

"I wish I could as well," He pressed his lips together, "But I'm afraid I am just grown too old to go back."

"You're never too old for Narnia," You spoke softly. Peter offered a thin smile and took your hand in his own, entwining your fingers together.

"Come back, please," You felt your eyes brim with tears, "There's so much I haven't gotten to tell you."

Peter gently took his free hand and brushed away the tears from beneath your eyes. "What is it that you haven't gotten to tell me, Y/N?" He whispered and leaned in closer, making the moment much more intimate.

"Two days won't be enough time," You looked up to him.

"Come back, bring Lucy, Susan and Edmund.. Narnia needs you. I need you," You admitted ever so gently. "I'm unsure if Aslan will ever do this for me again, Peter."

Peter rested his forehead against yours and looked down at your fingers intertwind with his own. "There's only one thing Narnia has that I would go back for in a mere second," His voice lowered.

"What is it?" Your eyes flickered up into his own, a deep nervousness kicked back into your stomach.

Peter pulled his head back gently and smiled, his dimples caving in as he did so. You parted your glossy lips and watched as his blue eyes locked with yours. You felt your body move closer to him, not physically, but rather emotionally.

Before you could comprehend it, your lips were overtaken by Peter's. You fluttered your eyes closed in response and gave into the kiss, feeling your lips mold together in the most perfect sync. You felt his chest press against your own. You took the opportunity to cup his cheeks with your palms, feeling pure gaiety within your body. You missed Peter more than you could even begin to explain. You were unsure where else this kiss would lead, but you had no intent to rush there.

.

a/n: hello lovies!! so this may have been one of my favorite things i've ever written. i know it's angsty but those are the types of pieces i love writing the most. i hope you enjoyed this one and who knows maybe i'll write a part two? hmm? haha! anyway, thank you so much for reading! be safe and treat people with kindness. — angelina.

[retvenkos]

“would it be terribly cheesy if i said ‘it was always you’?”

requested by @biqherosix STRAP IN, FOLKS, BECAUSE TODAY WE ARE TAKING A LOOK AT WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE FOR EJ CASWELL TO HAVE A CRUSH ON A NORTH HIGH STUDENT...

so first of all, you and ej knew each other long before you ran into each other in high school. because, you see, you went to junior high together, and in those days, both you and ej were on dance company 

(you can pry dance company! ej from my cold, dead fingers)

you were arguably the better dancer, and seventh grade ej really wanted to prove himself. a baby competition sprouted between the two of you, but it was nothing big.

you both liked to show off in order to taunt the other, and you both got a kick out of trying to one up each other.

but at the same time, you were teammates. you did everything together.

so the bond between you and ej was strong. it was a competition, yes, but it was friendly competition and you both actually hyped each other a lot. 

plus, dance company does a lot of things as a group, so it was unavoidable. you were going to end up liking each other at some point. luckily, it happened sooner rather than later, and the two of you built up a nice rapport with one another - a closeness forged in friendly competition and last minute studying parties.

but all that changed when you went to north high and ej went to east high

now, since north high is completely fictional, i get to create the dynamic between the schools, so listen up everyone!

north high clearly has the better arts department, and they also have the better tennis and softball team.

east high has the better stem department as well as a better swim team and any other swim related sports.

west high has the better sport teams overall - basketball, football, volleyball, etc.

(that's why we never see any uber jocks at east high—)

now, clearly you have your boundary school, but people get on special permit all the time, and when you say you’re going to north high ej is like ???? but why ???

“they have a better arts department, ej, you know that!”

“well, yeah, but east high is the best. we always said we were going to be wildcats!”

“ej.... they’re actually leopards.”

it wasn’t a super emotional goodbye. you promised to stay in touch, and it wasn’t like it was hard. you still saw each other around the mall, you still followed each other on instagram and what not but.... time just got between you.

you slowly stop texting, you see each other less, when you see each other in public you do that thing where you give a smile but then don’t go over to say hi, because you’re wrapped up in other people. it’s not pointed things, you just... stop talking.

and you still like each others photos on instagram but you’re just... there. 

all of that changes, however, when carlos asks you to help him choreograph hsm.

at the time, the rivalry between schools wasn’t big, it was just a low simmer, and the reason carlos approached you was because once upon a time, you, ej, and him had all been in dance company together for one (1) year (it all comes full cIRCLE) and for one of your performances, you had done something hsm related.

carlos wanted to know if you remembered the routine and could help him come up with something slightly more advanced.

and while you and carlos hadn’t really kept up with one another, he jokingly brought up a time where he did something for you, and how you always said you’d pay him back one day and maybe now it was time to cash it in??

you decided why not? you’ve done a lot of stuff for north high’s dance company, but you’ve never helped out in a musical before (and as you can imagine, north high is very competitive in their arts)

so you joined the hsm cast as co-choreographer.

now, because you had your own north high dance company stuff to deal with, you end up missing a lot of rehearsals. you mostly brainstorm with carlos and add tweaks to the choreo. carlos is the one to really ~teach~ things.

which means that while you are present for ~the drama~ that was ej-nini-ricky, you actually miss a lot of it. you feel the tension, but exactly why it’s Like That is beyond you.

you tried to ask carlos once but he said he wasn’t going to get into that, thank you.

and honestly, you have competitions to keep up with, so you’re not fixated on it. you’re just hoping that they’re not still pissed at each other on opening night, when ej has to strap ricky in for “getcha head in the game”

and while you’ve chatted with ej a couple of times, you haven’t had much time to catch up.

you actually bond a lot with gina, who is on the same level as you in terms of dance. you end up talking and mention how ej was once on dance company, and that rocks her world because ej???

and that’s when you show her all of the old videos you archived on your instagram from your junior high days. carlos, ej, and you all in dance company. they’re precious.

and when ej’s friendships are strained and he doesn’t have anyone to turn to, he sees you and gina laughing and crowding over your phone, and he comes to say hi.

and thus, the friendship begins again.

it is, of course, slow going because so much time has come between you, and gina and carlos (the two you hang with the most) are not on great terms with ej, but you guys grow really close all over again. ej is glad to have another senior to talk to about college, and you’re glad you have an old friend to talk to because it’s easy to feel out of place in this school that isn’t yours.

and on opening night, you know ej gifts you something - maybe it’s a jacket or beanie with the wildcats emblem on it.

“it’s kinda stupid, but we always said we were going to be wildcats together, and we did it.”

“huh, i guess we did.”

and for some reason, you chest is really warm, and you can feel the heat sneak up to your cheeks.

“this is really sweet, ej.”

“well, you know me.”

“yeah, i guess i do.”

and then it’s his cue to get ready to go on stage.

“oh! and there should be another surprise coming, don’t hate me for not telling you!”

and you’re ??? but it turns out to be gina.

you all clearly go to denny's afterward to celebrate, and if ej feels his heart seize in his chest everytime you laugh or steal one of gina’s fries, it’s not an unfamiliar feeling. because really, it had always been like that, with you. you never cease to amaze him.

and once you’re on the east high theatre group chat, you never get taken off of it, so you know everything that’s going on with your theatre buddies, after hsm has finished.

and this is where a conflict of interest really comes in...

because, you see, once hsm is a hit, some of the theatre kids at north high think you’re a traitor. you gave east high their secrets, and now east high is an actual contender. uncool, (y/n).

so you kind of get iced out by a lot of north high kids. like i said. competition there is  s t e e p  and you’ve been accused of fraternizing with the enemy..

but when zach roy shows up and he hears about the drama surrounding one (y/n) (l/n), he gets an idea... so he approaches you one day after dance company practice...

“he asked you to do wHAT?”

you’re texting ej, carlos, and gina in a group chat

“he asked me to co-choreograph their show.”

“are you going to do it?” - carlos

“of course they are! do you think opportunities like this just fall out of the sky?” - gina

“i don’t know, though, i feel like he’s working some angle with me. there’s something about him that doesn’t feel genuine.”

“it’s those piercing blue eyes.” - carlos

“i have piercing blue eyes!”

“and you’ve never done anything underhanded?” - gina

“we did that together!”

“what should i do?”

“accept, clearly!” - gina

“i’d be careful, if i were you. miss jenn doesn’t trust him for a reason.” - carlos

“it’s up to you, (y/n). you’ll do great, and it’s a great opportunity.”

“but?”

and everyone can feel the pause - the conflict where ej doesn’t know what to say.

“but nothing! this is a HUGE opportunity! he’s dancer extraordinaire derek hough zach roy! i’d be the villain of your eventual documentary if i were to try to hold you back.”

“okay... i think i’ll do it. you know how competitive things are, here. this could really give me a boost.”

“hell yeah, (y/n)!” - gina

“spy on their production for us?” - carlos

“anything for you <3″

i imagine you clash a lot with lily, but you actually become really good friends with howie and antoine. but that’s beside the point.

and while things are on good terms at first, your bond with your wildcats stays strong, and you’re carving out a place in north high rehearsals, lily is quick to find out that you’re on the east high group chat.

and because this is hsmtmts, i get to have some fun with this premise.

lily gets some kind of tech nerd on her side, and she gets him to make it so that somehow, the text that you get from the theatre group also send to her phone, for maximum stalking of the competition. that’s how she always gets one step ahead of east high.

and as north high seemingly continues to have insider info on east high, someone suspects there’s a leak.... which leads to you. who else has access to north high? so they send a fake text and wait to see if north high takes the bait.

they do. so now east high thinks it’s you.

but at this same time, you keep noticing that suspiciously, whenever you get a text from east high theatre department, lily’s phone goes off to. literally at the same moment, you’re doing your own test to see if somehow she hacked your phone.

(you had your suspicions because lily is actually terribly bad at hiding her hand and constantly makes remarks that make you Think™.)

you confirm lily to have hacked your phone, and so you go old school and show up to east high, hoping to tell them what happened and find some fix (since east high is the mother of all tech schools in this universe.)

but when you walk into the auditorium, the cast is being really passive aggressive toward you? and you’re so confused? what happened?

of course, ricky is the only to confront you because these days, it seems like he’s always one (1) moment away from blowing up.

and you explain that you were played just as much as they were - it was never your intention to betray them. east high is your family.

“oh, yeah? i’ve never known an east high leopard to go to north high.”

and so now we’re in shambles! we’re divided! 

you leave, upset, and ej catches you in the hall. he tries to explain that ricky’s been on one, recently, that none of his anger was really meant for you, and that he believes you - truly. he knows you’re the last person to ever betray them. you’re not like that. that’s more him than it is you.

and you just give him the world’s biggest  h u g .

now you’re probably wondering why i insisted on this particular plot line, but let me tell you - ej never really understood completely what a complete breach of trust it was for him to steak nini’s phone and violate her privacy like that. now he can see how deeply it affects you - how it can really ruin people in ways you never intend. it’s about the learning curve.

anyway, it takes you a while to build up trust with east high again, but you say “hey, why don’t you guys continue to send false leads to this group chat? make another for yourselves, and continue to spread misinformation to me.

ej is like... do you really want to sabotage your own show? but you tell him something along the lines of “our show is still going to have superior choreography, lily is just going to waste her time doing pointless side missions. it has nothing to do with the quality of my work.”

and ej loves this competitive and devious side of you so much. but he’s also deathly terrified of telling you how much he cares about you, because he always manages to screw things up.

and gina finds hilariously endearing because of all people to be self conscious... ej caswell? the ej caswell? she would be his hype woman if she wasn’t so busy finding this all too Good to be true.

eventually, lily will find out, but when she confronts you and threatens to tell the cast that you’re��the reason they’re so behind in their production, you tell her that to do that, she’d have to confess to stealing your phone, hacking into it, and using it to spy on you which breaks like 23 different school rules. but sure! tell everyone! you’d love to see how the principal reacts when you film it and show it to them on monday.

(this is getting really long, let me see if i can wrap it up, quick)

clearly, ej is an Idiot when he’s in love, and even though he’s deathly afraid of telling you his feelings, that doesn’t stop him from expressing them.

both of you are in your respective musicals, and your rehearsal schedules align really nicely, so a lot of the time, ej will drive up to north high afterward so he can give you a ride home. (you don’t have a car, okay?) you guys always stop to get fast food or a drink at starbucks or something, and you have little “dates” where ej parks the car and the two of you eat in his car, just chatting about your day.

or on weekends, you and ej go and drive up to the state college that ej was admitted to, and you walk around campus, trying to envision him there. and if you’re also going to a school nearby, you do the same for you. (bonus points if you’re going to the same college, so you walk around and pick out the places where you’ll chill together.)

and if these little excursions of yours are the highlight of your week, and all you want to do is hold ej’s hand forever, singing in the car with the windows down and driving into the sunset... well, you just hope that ej wants the same.

and since ej is in av club, and he’s really trying to dig in and figure out what his story is, he’s always got a camera of some kind out, and some of his best work, he swears, are pictures and videos of you.

anyway, at some point, you confess to ej that you have a crush on him (howie probably pushed you to do it because he was tired of seeing you pine).

it’s a weekend and the two of you are procrastinating on your respective school assignments (study sessions being interrupted with senioritis? sounds about right) so instead you’re just sitting on the floor, staring at the ceiling, talking about whatever. and i think it just slips out, and when you realize what you’ve said, you’re vvv embarrassed, and you don’t even want to look at see how ej reacts, but he calls your name and you turn to him, a deadly mixture of dread and hope rooted in your stomach and shaking you to your core, but ej is smiling and in his eyes is something brighter than the sun, and when he tells you he’s feels the same, it’s like that dread in your stomach blooms into pure joy and when he tells you he’s had a crush on you since you were eighth graders and you were a better dancer than him, you can’t help but laugh until all of that warmth in your stomach has escaped into the air and hangs around the two of you like low hanging stars - so close, you can reach out and touch them.

anyway, cue lots of sneaking around north high - not because it’s a secret but because it’s fun hiding in the back of the auditorium and sneaking into the empty dance room.

cue cheering for each other at the menkies and congratulating each other when east high gets best musical, and north high gets best choreography (amongst others).

cue going to denny’s to celebrate and laughing until your sides hurt, stealing each other’s fries, and holding hands under the table.

(also... ej 100% would kiss your fingers when your hands are intertwined and that’s truly a blessing)

cue going to pool parties together for no other reason than i want all of the east high kids to do an impromptu rendition of “all for one” and ej gets to hit ricky with one of those blow up beach balls “for revenge” on the basketball moment in season 1.

plus, a pool party would do wonders for destressing, don’t lie.

AND FLUFF ENSUES.

taglist: @maybanksslut, @theletterhart, @brokenandheadoverheels, @neelia-thedaughtherof-athena @kitsdeadwife, @amortensie // add yourself to the taglist here!

[tenthgrove]

Helloo~~

I was wondering if i could request,child!reader being adopted by Gelato and Sorbet(they kept the child a secret) and when they have to go away on a mission they leave child!reader with la squadra to look after? Howd they react? If this is okay!

La Squadra Babysitting Sorbet and Gelato’s Adopted Child

La Squadra x Reader, platonic/parental, sfw.

Sorbet and Gelato had always hoped to be parents someday. Originally intending to adopt by legal means as soon as they left the assassination busines, their plans altered considerably as their 30s dragged on with no sign of escape from the criminal underworld.

Still, you were an impulse.

Your parents were business folk. Though incredibly wealthy, they had run afoul of Passione and for that they had to be punished. Your room was on the far side of the mansion, where you couldn’t hear the sounds of your parents’ murders.

There was never a reason for the assassins to find you, but your fate was altered by a fleeting, split-second decision to find a different way out of the house. The second Sorbet and Gelato laid eyes on you, they knew their search for a child had ended. 

For the merciless brutality they regard most of humanity with, your new fathers are excellent to you. You are showered with love every day of your life and you are never harmed or neglected. Within weeks you are already beginning to feel happier than you ever did with your old parents.

A few months after Sorbet and Gelato adopted you, you are bundled into the car with a bag of your things and driven to a large house in the middle of the city. You are somewhat familiar with this place as the dwelling of your fathers’ friends, and according to them, the place they spent most of their time before you came along. Still, you have not spoken much with the eccentric men who live inside, recalling little from your brief conversations with them other than their names. 

Sorbet and Gelato lead you up the doorstep and kiss you goodbye. They explain that they have to go away for a few days for work, but their friends will take good care of you in the meantime. You watch them drive away, before a tall man clad in black calls you into the house. 

Risotto- The Capo of La Squadra is still a little bitter about the stunt Sorbet and Gelato pulled to keep you with them. How convenient it was, that they simply forgot to inform him of your adoption until the point where it would simply be too cruel, even by Risotto’s standards, to demand they give you away. But even if he’s only known about your existence for a few weeks, you are still a part of Risotto’s family and he’ll be damn well sure the team looks after you like they promised. For one, Risotto will be overseeing everyone else’s responsibilities, making sure that anyone who agrees to watch you for a certain period actually does it. However, especially as the days drag on, Risotto will frequently find himself taking on your supervision personally. The man can clear a playground just by showing up, so whenever he has an hour free he’ll take you down there so you can get some fresh air. It fills you with a sense of pride and self-confidence to have such a scary-looking man as your friend. And having you smile at him makes Risotto feel human again.

Prosciutto- Jesus Christ on a bike. In retrospect, Prosciutto is starting to wish that the very obvious secret Sorbet and Gelato were badly hiding for those months really had been a plot against the boss. They would be more likely to come out of that alive than parenthood. But… Prosciutto isn’t going to risk getting his knees caved in for letting your health falter in their care, so the second-in-command is going to take on the more practical elements of baby-sitting you. Food, clothes, hygiene… he’ll bitch about it, but if anyone else offers to do it for him he’ll turn them down. The truth is, Prosciutto secretly enjoys looking after someone. It feeds his naturally caring nature, a side of him he rarely gets to explore. 

Pesci- Personally he doesn’t know what everyone else is angry about. He thinks it’s great Sorbet and Gelato got a kid! They’re both so nice to everyone! (Pesci thinks this because he hasn’t been on many missions with them yet.) Prosciutto doesn’t like him spending too much time with you because he sees it as an excuse to slack off from his training, but whenever the opportunity arises Pesci is going to watch you play. He doesn’t join in, always fearing he’ll ruin things for you with his clumsiness somehow, but if you ask him, he will.

Formaggio- This guy has had like no experience with young children in a long, long time, so having you around is somewhat of a novelty to him. At first, he scares you a little with how loud and unpredictable he is, but it isn’t long before you find yourself having a lot of fun with him. He’d like to take you outside, kick a ball around perhaps, but Risotto insists that you’re only allowed out the house with him or Prosciutto. Instead, Formaggio will settle for watching some TV, always ready with his own weak-humoured commentary to make it more entertaining for you.

Illuso- He immediately finds himself more endeared to you than he would have liked. He shouldn’t be getting attached to some random kid, even if it is his colleagues’ child, but you’re just so damn sweet to everyone. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad wasting his time with you. When things are getting tense around the hideout, Illuso will let you and you alone see him through the mirror. It always makes you giggle, and you forget whatever it was that’s worrying everyone.

Melone- Don’t ask him how, but he figured out Sorbet and Gelato had adopted a kid a while before everyone else did. Given his stand, it’s useful for him to be able to identify the signs of someone being a parent, and this came in handy here. Anyway, Melone knew it would inevitably come down to you staying over with them whenever Sorbet and Gelato needed you off their hands for a bit. He bought a few new toys, to add to the collection he uses for educating babyface, and spends his allotted time with you observing how you interact with them. Although his demeanour may seem detached and experimental during these times, he genuinely does enjoy watching you. It fills him with happiness to see how obviously happy you are in your new life with your dads.

Ghiaccio- He tries to avoid you at first, thinking that a child in the hideout can only ever go wrong. But then he realises you seem to think you’ve displeased him somehow, and deep down, Ghiaccio feels bad. You aren’t a bad kid, he supposes. You’re not annoyingly loud or stubborn, and you generally do as you’re told. You do cry sometimes, mostly when you miss your dads, but you always stop whenever Ghiaccio gets them on the phone for you. He’ll tolerate you. If anything, he wouldn’t mind doing this again if Sorbet and Gelato need them too.

[lizbotw]

Oikawa, Akaashi, Kuroo, Kenma, and Nishinoya With a S/O that Has a RBF and Can Be Moody

Anonymous said:

Hi! Can you do Oikawa, Akaashi, Kuroo, Kenma, and Noya with an S/o that has a resting bitch face and gives off a strong “dont talk to me” aura when moody or tired?

hey! these took me a while to finish so i hope you like them ♡

Oikawa Tooru

He’s used to people praising his personality, all sweet words and thoughtful gifts. What he wasn’t used to was someone other than Iwaizumi blowing a fuse in response to his actions, especially if it was over something miniscule.

You had forgotten your water bottle in the gym after your daily P.E. class, but with your lunch period having already passed, you had no choice but to wait until the end of the school day to go pick it up, lest you get scolded by a teacher for “skipping class” and going to do something deemed “unnecessary” during their precious class time.

And so you impatiently waited out the last few classes of the afternoon before you hurried to the gym, hoping that no one had moved your bottle. (If you had to go run to the lost and found because someone had placed it there, you swore you would just about scream—you were tired and wanted to go home, plus the extra time spent going on a wild goose chase for the object meant you might actually miss your ride home if you didn’t hurry).

You shoved open the gym doors unceremoniously—after-school sports clubs were already gathering in the room for their pre-practice warmups—and you kept your eyes focused on the area in front of you, wanting to get in and out quickly.

You squinted a little at the familiar shape in your line of sight. Ah! There it is. In the distance you could make out your water bottle resting upon the same bench you had left it on, and you jogged over to it, swooping it up and slinging your backpack down and off of your shoulders in one movement. Your bag landed on the bench with a thump and the hiss of the zipper when you tugged the main compartment of the bag open were all you were focused on.

While you were shoving around a few books in your bag, trying to make room to squeeze the water bottle in, you failed to notice the intense stare you had earned from one of the very sports players you had ignored on your way in.

“Hey! Can I help you?” A chipper, smooth voice was the culprit.

You whirled around at the sound, water bottle half shoved into your already overcrowded bag.

Just your luck. The infamously chatty Oikawa Tooru had been the one to seek your company the one time you were actually in a rush. Resident pretty boy and captain of the volleyball team—of course you knew who he was.

His smile was charming and even in his normal workout clothes, you had to admit he still looked good.

And you also had to admit that while any other day this would have been a great conversation to have, right now you were so over it.

You ignored his attempt at conversation and focused on finishing up here and leaving, turning back to your bag and silently praying for the water bottle to just go in.

He was taken aback by your lack of response, but, never one to give up, he tried again.

Next to you on the bench, he gently placed down the small towel he had slung over one shoulder, along with his own water bottle, looking at you out of the corner of his eye as he set them down—he kept his grin on, although it was beginning to waver at your lack of reaction.

“This is the volleyball bench, so that’s why I was wondering if you needed something. We don’t usually let people stay and watch us practice, but you know, I’m feeling generous today so if you want to-”

You straightened up, backpack now firmly placed over your shoulders and water bottle secure inside. Your eyebrows had furrowed into an annoyed expression out of habit and thus an involuntarily glare was given to the captain. “Yeah, no thanks. I’ve got to go,” you mumbled, barely feeling like talking—seriously, how could someone have so much energy after school?

Oikawa watched as you left the same way you had come, confused and slightly appalled by your behavior. It took Iwaizumi giving him a firm punch to the arm and an order to “get back to stretching, dumbass, I’m not dealing with you pulling a muscle later and whining, I fucking swear,” to get him to go back to work.

Your interactions were minimal much of the time, but as though fate drew you together, you found yourself having many more similar interactions with the captain, much to your dismay. You didn’t hate him per say, but you definitely couldn’t stand his radiant, flirty personality when you already felt half-asleep after a long day.

First it was your friend leaving their water bottle in the same place you had and them begging you to go get it and give it to them first thing when you saw each other tomorrow because they had to go home right after school today for some reason.

Next it was someone forgetting their phone and you offering to go get it because they had done you a favor that one time a few weeks ago and you wanted to return it.

Then it was a whole textbook (what are you even doing with a textbook in the gym anyway?).

The cycle went on and on, and each and every time Oikawa was there, you used to his cliche conversation starters by now. It became a sort of routine, a game, and when your brain was clear from the throes of sleepiness later, you would mull over the interactions and realize that you actually enjoyed them.

It was quite the shock for Oikawa when he ran into you during lunch one day and you were bubblier than he had ever seen you (you were still filled with energy after a long night’s rest and school hadn’t sapped all of your vibrancy for the day just yet—plus you were excited that it was lunchtime), even being greeting him enthusiastically with a “Hey, Oikawa!” and waving to him when he had called out to you (he expected you to ignore him so he was frozen in shock for a moment at your display).

At some point, lunchtime hangouts between the two of you became the new routine, and from there the routines slowly continued to change and evolve until you two were miraculously dating. (The new routine was now stopping by the gym after school, even if you hadn’t forgotten anything there, to give him a goodbye kiss and a “Good luck with practice, babe!” before you headed home. The alternative routine was that you finally took up that offer he had made on that very first day about you staying to watch practice, and afterwards he would walk you home, you two stopping in a convenience store to buy ice cream before you got far. You both seemed the enjoy the latter a lot more.)

Oikawa, observant as he is, figured out that you become “pouty” when you were tired (you were sitting on his bed and doing homework with him when he announced that as though it was some sort of profound realization, and you hit him overhead with a pillow because why did you just described it like that, Tooru???).

He’s pretty good about giving you space when you need it, although most of the time, even if you’re sleepy or upset and don’t want to deal with anyone, he’s still liberal with the affection he gives you, knowing that you secretly love the attention. He just has to look past your sharp words to see what you really want and at this point you’re pretty sure he’s a mind reader.

When you’re not feeling tired and overworked, he knows you can actually be pretty sweet, so if he sees you staring off into the distance, your not-so-neutral resting face on, he’ll absolutely annoy the hell out of you because once you crack that million dollar smile? He’s done for (but he likes the pain of his heart beating wildly around you so it’s okay).

He’s just an absolute sucker for how angry you look most of the time but how you’re simultaneously the most supportive person he’s ever met underneath it all (in some ways it reminds him of Iwaizumi, although you’re less… prickly than Iwa seems to be much of the time; that and you don’t throw volleyballs at his head whenever he messes up a play during practice—most of the time that is).

Akaashi Keiji

The literal calmest couple ever that simply likes to stick to themselves—that’s the initial impression many have of you two.

That couldn’t be further from the truth though. Despite your outward appearance, you were quick to crack smiles around just about anyone (you got along well with Bokuto for this very reason), and Akaashi had proven to be unexpectedly playful at times as well (it was mostly around you and his team though, so that side of him was relatively unknown).

Akaashi wasn’t put off by how you appeared at all—that sort of thing didn’t really matter to him—and the faithful pairing up of you two together for a group project finally gave you the opportunity to talk.

He’s generally good with dealing with just about anyone, so while he was surprised once you started talking his ear off about the project, outwardly he didn’t so much as bat an eye, simply listening to you ramble on and responding when appropriate.

Once you two are together, quiet evenings become common, you most likely laying on his chest and scrolling through your phone while he holds a book above his head, the only noise being the flipping of the pages. Evenings like those are exactly what you need when you’re feeling overworked and want to snap at just about everything, and Akaashi is quick to soothe you—with even just a few words from him you can already feel yourself feeling better.

He secretly takes pride in the fact that others may look at your moodiness and intimidating appearance and shy away, meanwhile he’s able to actually understand you (also he has experience with Bokuto so literally just hit him with all you’ve got).

Together you two can seem pretty intimidating and unapproachable, but you also look cool as hell walking through the hallways side by side so it’s a necessary sacrifice.

Akaashi picked up the habit of taking pictures of you when you’re not looking because you look amazing with your neutral face and fierce expression, but also when you’re joking freely with him, eyes screwed shut and mouth open as laughter spills out, you’re simply stunning. He likes the duality and sees something poetic in it because of course he does.

He loves looking through his camera roll sometimes and just scrolling and seeing you simply minding your own business and looking out the window in one picture, but then getting up to all sorts of trouble in the name of fun in the next.

He’d probably be embarrassed if you found out, although he quickly realized that he also likes to show you the pictures sometimes so you can see yourself exactly how he sees you, and you have to admit that some of the shots are breathtaking with how he seems to capture you in the perfect way (the lightning, background, and of course you all look amazing because he’s Akaashi and to him every detail should be just right, especially if it involves you) and when the pictures are paired together with the others, the contrast jumps out and you have to smile at that.

Kuroo Tetsurou

A mostly empty hallway, the two of you being the only ones there, was where it all started. An entire open hallway and of course, he still managed to bump into you somehow. (To be fair, you were tapping away on your phone, complaining to your friend over text about how you just wanted to go home already and take a nap because the test last period had been exhausting, and not paying attention to where you were going at all).

To his credit, he was quick to apologize, turning over his shoulder so you would catch his words, seeing as you two were walking in opposite directions. “Ah… sorry, I guess I wasn’t paying attention.” A light chuckle on the end tied up the apology nicely by adding a charming casualness to it.

You looked up from your phone with an annoyed expression, eyes narrowed, and sighed to yourself before you turned around to reply to him. “Maybe work on that next time,” you snapped. You were clearly exasperated and Kuroo was left blinking in bewilderment at the interaction.

You two were in the same class and although you knew of each other, you weren’t exactly friends—more like acquaintances, although Kuroo was wondering if he had missed the memo on when that title had switched to sworn enemies.

He decided to test this theory and tentatively bid you “good morning” when he got to class the next day. He had almost chickened out because you looked absolutely terrifying, almost as though you were going to bite whoever so much as glanced in your general direction.

Although you seemed confused at first at the fact that he was even talking to you, you gave a small, “Good morning?” back. (It came out as more of a question, but you know what? He’ll take it.)

Okay, so… you didn’t hate him? Or at least not as much it seemed?

And so Kuroo kept this up, always the first one to say “good morning” to you each day—it was sort of like a science experiment, him trying to gauge what you thought about him and test out his hypothesis (the mystery of that interaction in the hallway is what kept him at it, even as silly as it seemed).

You asked him at one point why he suddenly started talking to you and he quickly deflected the question, afraid you would catch onto his little research experiment, even as outlandish the possibility of that happening was.

Those were the first few interactions you two had and even now when Kuroo looks back on it he has secondhand embarrassment for his past self—what was he even doing?

Nowadays, now that you’re finally dating, he doesn’t question your moodiness, knowing that everyone has off days. He has also finally figured out that you two were never sworn enemies in the first place (although he thinks that this love story would have been way more interesting if that had been the case).

Whenever you’re staring off and looking serious, Kuroo loves to pinch your cheeks to snap you back to reality and even as often as he does it, you fall for it every time and honestly he can deal with the death glare you give him because then the small smile you can’t conceal comes out right afterwards (what he can’t deal with though is you withholding kisses from him because you said he didn’t deserve them after pinching you three times in the span of two hours, so after that one time you learned that that punishment was horribly ineffective because so clingy throughout it).

If you’re looking tired, simply down on your luck and annoyed at life, he doesn’t let it affect him and knows not to take it personally, slipping you a cup of tea to help you calm down and clear your mind, and sitting across from you at the kitchen table and watching you as you sip at the drink, ready to talk whenever you want. His affection is quiet in those moments, but you welcome it as much as you do his grand gestures of love—he always brings each type of support out at just the right moment and you find it hilarious that he had ever thought that you could hate him (you could never, not when he was like this).

Kenma Kozume

The fact that the first impression he had of you was that you weren’t in-his-face hyper was jarring enough—he was used to his teammates and their high energy shenanigans, so you were an anomaly in his eyes.

He wouldn’t exactly make a first move, or at least not for a while, but in class when he’s bored, head in his palm, elbow on the table, and drumming his pen against his desk absentmindedly, he would watch you out of the corner of his eye.

You confused him. You had tons of friends, Kenma knew that much about you, and he always overheard people talking about how much fun you were to talk to, yet here he saw none of that rumored playfulness. You were stone-faced as the teacher droned on, rigid in your movements as you copied down the notes from the board robotically.

Watching you write reminded him that he should probably do the same, but even as he went back to trying to focus on that day’s lesson and stared down at his notebook, you stayed on his mind.

He knew that not everyone always outwardly showed their entire personalities, but he had been watching you for what felt like forever and you never so much as cracked a smile. Surely that was unusual?

Kenma found himself itching to just walk up to you and say something—he hated not being in the know and… you seemed approachable enough. Even when he came to the conclusion to stir up a casual conversation with you to finally put his mind at rest, he was still surprised with himself when he actually did it.

He was even more surprised when you instantly brightened up when he talked to you, polite in your responses, yet not stiflingly so, the conversation flowing easily as you two jumped from one topic to another—he wasn’t even exactly sure what you two discussed, just that the words kept flowing out of him as he followed your lead, and for some reason he didn’t want it to end.

He’s not sure how it happened, but that one time conversation soon turned into multiple conversations and he found himself getting strangely attached to you, your excitable personality growing on him as time passed.

Kenma found it endearing how you could be upbeat and ready for an adventure most of the time, but that those times when you simply got tired or weren’t in the mood, you were the complete opposite, either wanting to talk to no one, or claiming that you wanted to talk to no one and secretly actually wanting someone to let you rest your head on their shoulder and just hold you (that’s what he was there for).

If he can tell you’re not in the mood to socialize, he won’t force you to do anything or talk about it if you don’t want to. He’s good at picking up the little cues you put out and you love him all the more for it.

Kenma knows what it feels like to just want some alone time, so it’s common for you two to just hang on in one of your bedrooms on weekends, each of you doing your own thing and not bothering one another. Sometimes one of you will just get up and move closer to the other person, cuddling up under their arm, and no words will be exchanged the entire time. (If you’re sitting between his legs while he plays a video game, he likes to lean down and give you a quick kiss on the forehead whenever he feels like it—come on, you’re right there, how could he possibly resist?)

Nishinoya Yuu

He’s used to Kiyoko outright ignoring him, and even any harsh words from her have him running to go tell Tanaka the “good news” about their latest interaction, so he wouldn’t be put off by your seemingly cold demeanor at all. In fact, he may be even more intrigued. He likes the chase after all.

You were sitting in class one day during a break, spacing off and simply watching your other classmates mingle around the room, and Nishinoya saw this as the perfect opportunity to talk to you, bounding over to you with a spring in his step.

He leaned down close to you, a mischievous smirk matching the playful lilt in his voice. “Hey, (Y/N)-”

He stopped short though when you turned to him smiling and returned the greeting without missing a beat. Wait, what?

In class you always looked bored out of your mind, or just plain angry to be here, unamused look in your eyes and the corners of your mouth downturned. He hadn’t seen you out of the classroom that much, or if he had, you had never been with your friends (so he had missed all the times when you joked around with them), either standing in the hallway alone waiting for someone and on your phone, or walking out of the school after class to head home and looking like you would absolutely fight anyone who prevented you from doing so. Even during group work in class, you were closed off—you had spoken the bare minimum during the majority of that one time that he had been paired up with you.

But now? You were a literal ray of sunshine. Nishinoya blinked at the sight, eyes wide, like a deer caught in headlights—and then a giant grin spread across his face. He liked this.

His constant high energy is a great contrast to your sometimes “just done with everything” appearance (also school was absolutely tiring, so it was more likely to catch you in one of your sleepy, unenthusiastic phases than not during particularly high stress weeks).

He’s amazing at dealing with the times you just don’t want to interact with anyone besides him, never forcing you to speak if you’re tired and instead filling up the empty space in the air with his own words while you lean against his chest, you two on his couch and watching a movie during the weekend.

He thinks you’re absolutely badass and the fact that people are easily intimidated by you at first glance is just awesome to him like yes! That’s his baby right there! You should be scared! (But then, of course, people come to realize you’re actually a giant teddy bear inside.) He may or may not ask you to give Asahi some confidence pointers because you both can give off the same energy at times.

Even when you’re in a bad mood, Nishinoya is as vibrant as ever and has an infinite amount of energy and love to devote to you. Sit down with him and just vent all of your frustrations and he’ll make you feel better about everything, hyping you up if you display any sort of worries, and actually racking his brain for solutions to your problems if you ask for his opinion on what you should do (it’s adorable when he sits there with his thinking face on, going full on serious boyfriend mode).

[okskz]

The L Word.

elsy + chan

with elsy’s promotions being over, chan takes her out on a date like he had promised her. and how will elsy react when she hears the L word?

hope you guys enjoy! please feel free to leave some feedback because it is always appreciated!

[8th member of got7/soloist]

“so where is it that you’re taking me?” elsy questioned chan for probably the fourth time already. he had yet to tell her where he was going to take elsy for their date. with elsy’s promotions finally over, the girl had some free time on her and chan took this as an opportunity to take her out like he had promised.

“mm, not going to say.” chan teased. “but just know you’ll love it.”

elsy narrowed her eyes at chan when he wasn’t looking. with chan, the possibilities were endless on where exactly he was taking her.

as they continued to walk, elsy had noticed the old jyp building coming up. she had stopped walking for a second to look up, causing chan to do the same. “wow, it’s actually been awhile since I’ve been around here.” she said.

“same here.”

elsy and chan stared at the building some more. “this building sure does bring a lot of memories.” she slightly chuckled. “it sure does.” chan said after. “like when you told me people were being mean to you-“

“ah, man. I hated that!” elsy huffed. “all I wanted was help in finding directions to the dance room and not one person had the kind heart to help me.” she said, turning her head to smile at chan. “but then I found you, so maybe there was a reason.”

“perhaps there was.” chan grinned. “I still remember your face coming up to me, you had braces.” he added. “I also thought you were really pretty.”

elsy softly smiled at chan as she went in to kiss him on his cheek. “that day was the start of our friendship.”

“I mean there was no way of getting out when you had practically said we were already friends from the very beginning.” chan joked. “hey! I needed friends.” Elsy exclaimed.

“and I ended up being your only friend.”

“untrue!” elsy defended herself. “I had other friends…too.”

“but who was the one you were mostly around with?” chan wiggled his eyebrows. elsy clapped her tongue. “where are you taking me?” she questioned once more to change the subject.

“still with the questions?” chan tsked. “and for your information, we’re almost there. just need a few more steps.” chan grabbed elsy’s arm, making her walk right next to him. now she was really curious on where chan was taking her. but once they came to a stop in front of a small, hidden old restaurant, the girl began to smile hard. she knew the place a bit too well.

“aw, channie!” she exclaimed as more memories came to her mind. it was a restaurant that elsy knew all too well, the restaurant being her and chan’s favorite growing up. any chance they got, they were in there eating delicious ramen as well as some dumplings. “is this where you’re taking me?”

“yes.” chan grinned. “it really has been forever since we last ate here. so I thought I’d bring you here, you know, like I always did when we were younger.”

“then what are we waiting for?” elsy questioned. “let’s get in there!” she grabbed on chan’s hand, dragging him inside the small restaurant. and when entering, it was almost quite empty. only having an older couple in there, and now her and chan.

the smell was still the same, just how chan and elsy remembered. “welcome- oh! channie and elsy!” an older lady had said, coming into view from coming out of the kitchen. and the couple had remembered her right away. “I thought I’d never see you two again. the both of you became big stars and forgot all about me, eh?” she joked, letting out a small chuckle.

“sorry about that.” elsy pouted. “life gets really busy as an idol. don’t know how I even managed to have time for channie again.” she teased.

“oh, channie.” the lady smiled. “you’ve grown so much, you as well elsy. so handsome and beautiful. ah, I can just remember the times when you two were teenagers coming in here all the time for lunch or dinner. so little you two were.” she chuckled. “please have a seat.”

elsy and chan took a seat in the far back, the usual spot the two would always sit at. “I’m guessing you two will be getting your usual order?”

“yes, please.” chan grinned.

the older lady quickly left to get started on chan and elsy’s order, already knowing it from memory. elsy had looked up, scanning around the restaurant. “this place hasn’t changed at all.” she said. “thank you for taking me here. it sure has brought back many memories.”

chan went out to reach for elsy’s hand, gently rubbing the back of it. “I’ve actually been wanting to take you here for quite the longest. so I thought today would be the perfect opportunity.”

“well you sure do know how to plan great dates, bang chan.” elsy giggled. “I try, I try.” chan smiled. he stared at elsy for just a few seconds, taking her in. elsy let out a small laugh, “don’t stare at me, it makes me nervous.”

“I’m sorry,” chan said. “I can’t help it.”

“-hey, I saw the red lights video by the way.” chan was caught off guard when taking a sip from his drink, almost choking on it. elsy smirked, knowing exactly he would react that way. “yeah? what- what about it?” chan stuttered. he could feel his ears already burning red.

“oh, nothing.” elsy teased. “just thought I mention how good you looked in it.” now it was her to soft rub on chan’s hand. which he ended up moving his hand away to cover his ears. “ah, elsy. I know what you’re doing it.” he nervously laughed.

“I’m not doing anything.” elsy smiled. “can’t I just mention how great my boyfriend looked?”

“no.” chan wheezed. “let’s just talk about something else.” elsy laughed at chan, finding it amusing the way he reacts.

“and here you guys go.” the lady had said, placing down two bowls of ramen in front of them as well as some dumplings on the side. the two main things chan and elsy would order all the time. “just the way you guys like it.” she smiled at them. “please enjoy.”

“it smells so good. thank you.” elsy said before the lady had walked away to leave the two alone. “here, take the first bite.” elsy grabbed a dumpling with her chopsticks and placed it against chan’s lips in which he took a bite of. “oh man, it tastes just how I remember.” he said in english. “so good.”

elsy chuckled and soon the two began to eat up their food while enjoying conversation.

***

“I’m so full.” elsy said in english as she patted her stomach

“that was some great food though.” chan said after.

“all done here?” the lady had said as she came back to take their dishes away. the couple had nodded, grinning. “oh yes, it was very good by the way.” elsy said.

“may I have the bill?” chan questioned as he was in the process of taking out his wallet. the lady simply smiled as she shook her head no. “it’s alright, channie. the food is on me.”

“no-“

“no, no. I insist.” she said. “plus i already told you long ago that the food would be on me the day you’d finally take elsy on a date here.”

chan and elsy had looked at her in shock. “how did you know-?”

“oh elsy.” she chuckled. “it was easy to figure it out with the way chan looks at you.”

chan’s ears began to turn red again. all while elsy couldn’t help but smile. “and don’t worry, secret is safe with me.” she winked at the couple.

“there must be a way I can repay you for the meal.” chan still offered to pay but the lady continued to shake her head. “just come visit me again more often and that’s the best way to repay me.”

“thank you so much.” elsy said, standing and giving the lady a tight hug. chan did the same after. “now, you don’t go breaking her heart. elsy is a great woman to have, channie.”

“oh I promise.” chan swung an arm around elsy as the girl rested her head his shoulder. “she definitely is great.”

“you kids have a great night.”

after saying their final goodbyes, chan and elsy made their way out the restaurant to head back to elsy’s apartment.

“I loved it, I loved tonight. thank you for taking me back there. I never realized how much I’ve missed going there.” elsy hugged onto chan as the two sat on her couch. chan went ahead and kissed elsy on the side of her head. “I’m glad you did.” he smiled. there was a steady silence between the two as chan grabbed onto elsy’s hands, playing with her fingers.

he bit on his lip for a quick second before blurting out what he was going to say next. it just happened naturally. “I love you.”

chan didn’t notice it, but elsy’s eyes had went wide without her realizing it and even feeling her stomach churn at the three words that left his mouth.

I love you. the silence was loud. and elsy was frozen.

that was until she lifted her head up and looked chan in the eye. the two only stared at one another. “w-what?” She stuttered.

“I said I love you. elsy, I love you.” chan was softly smiling at elsy. but the girl continued to stare at him, no words being able to come out of her mouth. and elsy mentally slapped herself after seeing chan’s smile fade away.

but for some reason she just couldn’t say anything. even if she wanted to.

there was so denying that she did indeed love chan. but to actually say it, was something she was going to find difficult to do. elsy was never one to show love easily let alone to actually say it. back then it was so easy for her to tell him, knowing it was just in a friend way. but things were different now with chan being more than just her best friend.

was she ready to tell chan? chan brought her happiness, she felt loved, he did everything for her. so she didn’t understand as to why she was so afraid to let it be known that she loved chan.

she has always kept this guard up. elsy didn’t like the idea of being hurt. but she knew chan. her heart was telling to her to just say it back to him, but her mind told her differently. elsy was conflicted. “bang chan- I”

“you don’t need to say it if you’re not ready.” chan said. he placed a piece of elsy’s hair behind her ear. “I just wanted to tell you how I feel.” he swallowed hard as he got up from the couch.

and elsy only stared at him and his movements. “I’ll um, message you.”

“I’m sorry.”

chan shook his head, “no, no. no need to be sorry.” he said. but deep down, elsy knew he was feeling upset.

when chan began walking towards the front door, elsy wanted nothing more than to just run up to chan and tell him she loved him. to make him come back. but instead, elsy just sat on her couch frozen at the spot, looking at chan’s back facing her.

not once did chan look back at her, even when he had opened the door to leave. chan only shut it, not saying a word to elsy at all.

and elsy began to hug her legs as she felt tears begin to flow down her face. “I love you, too.”

[c-is-for-circinate]

So as close as I am to fully escaping Hades for the first time, I figure I might take this opportunity to write down a couple of things I'm scared of from this ending. The story is so good so far! But I have seen good stories before! And there are patterns, right, patterns it's so easy for even good stories to fall into, so yeah, I have fears, and they mostly come down to Hades himself.

(Yep, this one got long again! People seem to be enjoying my game-reaction rambles, so, for your enjoyment under the cut: themes of separation and reunion, predictions for what Zagreus is the god of, and a whole lot of discussion of familial abuse dynamics, how they're depicted in fiction, and the work it takes to change them in real life. Stay warned! Stay safe!)

(ALSO, I still haven't made it past the first couple of chambers in the Temple of Styx, so no spoilers in the reblogs/comments please! Yes, even though the whole post is me going on about predictions and hopes and concerns about the path the story might take. I WILL GET THERE SOON.)

It has been really interesting watching some of the stuff the game is doing with themes of parting and reunion, and how that corresponds to life and death. So many of our social links are about reuniting estranged loved ones: Chaos and Nyx, Eurydice and Orpheus, Patroclus and Achilles. Hades is estranged from Olympus, Persephone left. And every time we leave, or try to leave, it is both an attempt at a parting (and Meg and Than are so hurt by that goodbye, or lack thereof) and an attempt at a reunion with our mother. Every time we die it's a reunion, every time we die it's fun, it's great, we get to go back home and check in with all of our friends and be impressed by whoever made Employee Of The [Timeperiod] and sell fish to the cook and put down yet more rugs. (My Zagreus has something of a rug addiction. What can you do.)

It's at the point where I feel pretty secure in stating that Zagreus is going to discover eventually that he is both life/death/rebirth god, and god of partings and reunions. Both halves of both of those things. People leave each other when they die and re-find their loved ones in death; you go away from one group of people to come back to another; you have to depart to return, and I really think that's where we're going to end up with Zagreus. He's going to reunite his various friends with their loved ones, he's probably going to restore communications between Hades and Olympus and even Persephone, he's going to reunite with his mom, and he's going to come back to the Underworld before he leaves to see everyone up top all over again. And of course the vehicle for all of this coming and going is death, because death is the ultimate departure and reuniter. (This is absolutely a religious concept containing a whole bunch of "oh hey our culture has a lot of Christian influence, doesn't it", Greek trappings aside, but that's fine, it's a game made in 2018 not 300 BC, these things happen. They keep calling the Underworld 'hell' and 'infernal'. It's all good.) Of course he's a cthonic god. Of course he bleeds, because you have to bleed in order to die, and Zagreus has to die again and again and again. That's his whole thing.

Thing is, though, looking at those themes, I am also continually aware of the fact that some partings are for a really good reason. Some partings should not end in reunion.

Yes, of course this is about Hades the abusive dad. I have been talking about Hades the abusive dad basically non-stop since I started playing this game, where did you think this post was going.

There are a few things I'm nervous about, separate but related, and at the core it all comes down to, I'm not okay with it if we learn why Hades got to be this way, and Zagreus forgives him as we-the-audience are meant to do, and Hades promises to do better, and nothing concrete about the situation is forced to change. Actual, meaningful, practical, logistical, non-hypothetical non-metaphorical change, not just for Zagreus but for Hades himself.

Because I know how this story tends to go, in fiction. Fictional abusive parents (especially in fantasy/sci-fi stories) tend to come in two types: 'coerced their offspring into actual murder with a side of physical abuse and optional unethical lab experimentation', or 'this was here to create character conflict, we didn't mean for it to read as actually abusive, this parent just has flaws to make them a good character, we swear!' Hades isn't the first type--we have never once seen Hades strike his son, or anybody, or even come out from behind his desk--which means that the fear is, always, always, in every piece of fiction, that he's the second. That the writers are going to decide that the right response to his abuses is remorse, forgiveness, and one really good conversation. That they don't realize it's abuse in the first place.

And, like. They have to know, right? They have to. They can't have done this by accident. (Sometimes, writers get so close by accident.) They can't have done so well at drawing out this situation simply by going, 'well, people are meant to fear this god, so they'd probably react like this, and I guess based on what I've seen in other stories or vague acquaintances they'd then do this,' and never put the name on the situation. Every single time we leave to the tune of a Hades word-flash, he's being dismissive, insulting, and sometimes downright cruel. He is cruel. They have to know!!!

But oh boy have I been consuming media for a lot of years, and oh boy have I run into a lot of writers who don't know.

Reconciliation is such a loaded word, but stories about dysfunctional families really do love it. Stories based around themes of reunion are primed for it. And of course, it's nice, it ties a happy ending off with a sweet little bow, everyone gets to be with the people they love and the family is safe and nobody gets hurt, but so rarely have I seen stories that show the actual work required to rebuild those relationships in a realistic or meaningful way. So rarely do stories trying to build that happy ending actually let the victim of abuse set and maintain boundaries. The character never gets to actually just cut the damn ties to the thing that hurt them. The character so rarely even gets to be safe.

And it's so hard in this game specifically, because "THERE IS NO ESCAPE", because every single thing about this game says that the story's not over when Zagreus gets to the surface, that no matter what he's going to have to come back. It's so hard, because this is a game about reunions. I am not going to get an ending where the abused kid trying to flee his toxic home and abusive dad actually gets to leave and stay gone, not in this one. And that hurts (I have watched and supported and done my best to help multiple real-life friends get the fuck out of homes like that, and stay gone, I have seen how hard it is, how complicated, how awful, and there are never stories for that), but I can live with it, if I get an ending where Zagreus is at least safe. Where things change. Where they really change.

Which is why I need actual, concrete, material changes in the logistics and power structure of the Underworld for this ending to be okay. Understanding why Hades is Like That doesn't cut it. Remorse doesn't cut it! Because look, even if Hades wants to do better, even if he admits he's at fault and tries to be better, he is still set up in a position as an all-powerful tyrant, and trying to become a better person is hard. There is nobody around who can keep him in check when he starts backsliding, which he will. Even if he doesn't want to, he will.

Because people are people, and it's really difficult to break patterns! Especially if everything around them stays the same. Hades is going to slip at some point, be cruel, be callous, be tyrannical, no matter how much of an effort he's making. Not to mention, it is STRESSFUL to face your own crimes and improve, it sucks, it feels bad. And what do habitual abusers do when they feel bad? What's the only coping mechanism Hades appears to have established for dealing with his own shit? That's right, it's inflicting suffering on everyone else around him. (This is why it doesn't really matter what circumstances drove Hades to act this way, why it can't matter--I believe that he is suffering, but he copes with that suffering by inflicting additional suffering on everyone around him, everyone who relies on him, and that's still true no matter what made him feel bad to begin with.) So then we just get a great old guilt-->lashing out-->more guilt-->more lashing out merry-go-round of abuse even as Hades is trying to change. That's how these things work. And yes, change is possible, improvement is absolutely possible, but the environment needs to change first. The system that enables and rewards Hades for acting this way can't stay in place. Things need to actually change, with people who are around to support Hades in his growth and also check his power, people who have power of their own to stop him. And however it happens, for this story with this protagonist with these goals to feel like a happy ending, Zagreus needs to be safe.

It would be okay, though a little disappointing, if those changes were mostly based in magic and fate and, idk, divine mind-control. (This story has been so grounded in actual human dynamics that a fantastical solution to a realistic problem would feel like a letdown, but if it actually solved the problem I'd be okay with it, more or less.) It would be okay, though a little disappointing, if the responsibility for bringing Hades to heel fell upon Zagreus and Persephone, if the two family members who he hurt badly enough that they felt the need to run away from him entirely now had to shoulder the burden of helping him fix himself. (There are definitely ways to write that dynamic better and ways to write it worse, and I think I trust these writers to land on the 'better' side of the scale, but I still don't love the implications.) I think I'd be pretty into it if Hades took a vacation off to Olympus to Work Out His Shit with his own family, while a coalition of Meg, Nyx, Thanatos, Zagreus, and Queen Persephone took over running the Underworld in his absence. I think we might end up getting some combination of those things. I'm hopeful. I think these writers might know what they've written. I think they might have a sense for what it'll take to fix.

But yeah, I'm nervous. (Nervous enough that I might switch to God Mode just to get through, combat has started getting really tedious instead of fun, I want to know what happens next, and this is a game and there is no shame in making it more fun for myself by making the boring parts a little quicker and easier.) I've seen so many stories go wrong. This one has done so much to earn my trust. We'll see if it breaks.

[typical-simplelove]

Letters From Home - 40s Series (M. Tkachuk)

Summary: Matthew Tkachuk comes home from fighting in World War Two. What happens when his childhood best friend Ruth Blossom is there to welcome him?

Series Masterlist

A/n: Here's the second part! I'm an absolute history nerd, so this is the result. I hope you enjoy!! This part exists in the same universe as the Jacob Markstrom fic that came first.

Warnings: Mentions of war and death

Word Count: 2.2k

It was December 10th, 1945, and Ruth Blossom was at the train station. Well, she wasn’t the only one. It’s been a few months, almost, since the War ended, and Ruth was waiting for her best friend Matthew Tkachuk to come home from the war.

Matthew Tkachuk went off and enlisted the minute war was declared. He knew exactly what he needed to do. Enlisting? Not a question. That was his personality. Always the first to jump up and help.

The train rolled into the station with a stentorian horn and Ruth gripped her purse tighter. Taryn begins fidgeting next to Ruth and she puts an arm on Taryn. Matthew’s arrival was any minute now. There would be no more longing and wishing he were home.

“Hey, he’s coming home. That’s more than some people can say, right?” Ruth tries to cheer up.

Taryn nods. “Brady came home, too, which is good.”

“Yeah, he’ll be okay. It’s going to be back to normal soon.”

Soldiers begin walking off the train and Taryn and Ruth angle their heads to try to find that familiar face. The boyish grin with striking blue eyes. The tall frame made him stand out in any crowd. The Tkachuk family and Ruth knew Matthew had to cut his mop of curls as a part of military regulation. Would they be able to recognize him?”

“Ruth,” someone calls from behind. Ruth turns around and sees his face. She breaks out into a large smile. “Hey, sunshine.”

“Matthew!” Ruth exclaims and runs into his arms. Matthew removes his army cap and wraps his arms around Ruth. He breathes in her calming scent that he remembers from all that time ago. Matthew’s family turns to see the commotion. They knew that Matthew was going to go to Ruth first. She was what kept him alive. “How did you get behind us?”

“I’m not telling; I saw an opportunity and had to go for it.”

“Of course. Well, for what it’s worth, I’m really glad you’re home. Now, go and greet your family.”

“Do I have to, sunshine?”

Ruth laughs. “Yes.”

Matthew sighs and walks over to his family. He would never stop wanting to come home to Ruth. After greeting his family, Matthew and his family walk over to the Tkachuk house. They were a short ten-minute walk from the train station.

Matthew takes Ruth’s hand and they walk behind Taryn, Chantal, Keith, and Brady.

“So, tell me, did you fall in love with any airmen while I was gone?” Matthew jokes. He was joking but he also wanted to know. Those airmen can be scoundrels. It definitely also isn’t because Matthew wants to know if Ruth is seeing anyone.

“Of course not. I heeded your warnings. If I’m going to fall in love with a military man, then it'll be an army man like yourself.” Or you.

“Well, be careful, army men can still be heartbreakers.”

“Oh, I can imagine,” Ruth says with a wink that makes Matthew’s face turn red.

“I wanted to say thank you,” Matthew begins. “For always writing me. It really helped me out.”

“Oh Matthew, don’t be silly. I would have written you daily if it weren’t for the taxes and working towards making munitions.”

“Doesn’t matter, it helped me.” Ruth can’t help but smile.

Ruth and Matthew continue walking along and make small talk. They talk about the local gossip, the weather, and what Matthew was excited to do now that he’s home. The group finally reached the white picket fence of the Tkachuk house. Matthew is about to lead Ruth in but she lets go of his hand.

“Sunshine, come on.”

“No, no. Matthew, you catch up with your family. Stop by my family’s house later on and I’ll make you some lemonade and we can catch up.”

“Ruth, come on, just come in.”

“Matthew, just go be with your family. Stop by later, okay?” Ruth flashes Matthew an easy grin and he won’t argue anymore.

“Yes, ma’am. I’ll stop by later this evening for your famous lemonade, okay?”

“I’ll be counting on it,” Ruth says with a wink. “Goodbye, Mr. and Mrs. Tkachuk!” They back but are puzzled as to why she's already leaving.

“When are you going to tell her how much you love her?” Taryn asks when they all walk in and Ruth is out of earshot. “She never danced with anyone, ever, while you were gone. She said it wouldn’t be fair to you as you were always her dance partner.”

“I didn’t dance with any of the girls in England, either. She’s my lifetime dancer partner.”

“Matthew, sweetheart, we’re glad you’re home but if you want to go be with Ruth, go with her,” Chantal says.

“No, no, she’d probably scold me. Ruth told me to stay and be with you. I’m going by tonight for her famous lemonade.”

“Make sure you tell her,” Chantal insists.

“I will,” Matthew says with a forlorn sigh.

. . .

Dearest Matthew,

Let me start this letter as I always do. Despite the circumstances, how are you? I hope you’re eating your fair ration of the army-regulated food. I hope the weather isn’t too dreadful and you’re able to have as much sleep as allowed. How are your friends? Johnny? Elias? He’s getting married, right? Sam? Jacob? I hope they are all doing well. Send them my happiest wishes.

Brady wrote home the other day. Taryn asked me to pass on the message to you. He’s doing well. Nothing new to report. That’s good, right?

Let me tell you some good news! I’ve gotten a job to work and make munitions for the army. It’s possible that the bullets I make might be sent to you! I’m not sure where they go but imagine, wouldn’t that be beautiful for you to use a St. Louis made bullet? That’s probably more romantic when the bullets aren’t being fired at me. Ignore that.

Oh! My victory garden is growing so beautifully! My tomatoes have come in nicely and they taste amazing! I’ve been helping Taryn with her victory garden and I think she has me beat. Only though, because I’ve been helping her! Don’t tell her I said that. What should I plant next? I have a few ideas. What about an orange tree? We may not be in Florida but wouldn’t that be exciting? What about peas? Or carrots? Oh, broccoli? What do you think? Whatever you say, I’ll try to find the seeds and grow the plants. I’ll even name them after you. Matthew the Broccoli Stalk. Matthew the Orange. Matthew the Carrot. Matthew the Stalk of Kale. I like to think I’m funny. I’m not. I genuinely don’t know why you put up with me sometimes. I guess what they say is true, friends since childhood? Friends forever.

I have some gossip to share. Do you remember Cathy from middle school? She is engaged to be married to Roger. Yes, you’re thinking the right, Roger. Roger, star batter at the high school baseball team. Cathy the loud, mean girl who constantly made fun of Roger. Apparently, Cathy has had a change of heart and apologized for her actions. This led to them falling in love and now they are engaged! I heard Roger was in the Navy and sailing on a ship around Great Britain. Do you think Cathy is going to go on a full apology tour and apologize to you and me? I would love to get an apology from her. My goodness, the number of things she did to me growing up? Matthew, I’m still bitter about it. I absolutely still can’t stand the thought of her. It’s probably better if she doesn’t even come near me. I’d probably want to run away crying. Do you think she’ll invite us to the wedding? I hope not. If she does, will you be my date? The pact we made at ten still stands right? We will forever be each other’s dates to weddings, right? What about the pact at twelve? We will forever be each other’s dance partners? Obviously, I’m not going to hold you accountable for that one. If you want to dance with some other girl, do so! You deserve to relax and unwind. Just know, I’m only dancing with you forever and ever.

I’m sending you all the love in the world.

Love, your sunshine,

Ruth

Matthew never danced with anyone whilst in Europe. Only Ruth. he only would ever dance with Ruth. She was it for Matthew. He was going to tell her. Matthew Tkachuk was going to tell Ruth Blossom that he loved her. Matthew puts on his army cap and heads out the door to Ruth’s house.

He knocks on the door and is met with Ruth’s father.

“Matthew, son, welcome home,” he says.

“Mr. Blossom, thank you. It feels good to be back.” Matthew says. Was Mr. Blossom going to welcome Matthew into the house?

“Before you go in, I want to talk to you about Ruth.”

“Yes, sir, I’d love to talk to you about Ruth,” Matthew says and immediately cringes. That was the wrong thing to say.

“I want to know what your intentions are with her,” Mr. Blossom says, and Matthew pales.

“Well, if your daughter will have me, then I’d like to marry her. I’ve loved her for as long as I can remember and her letters are what kept me going. Sir, I love Ruth and I would love to spend the rest of my days with her.”

Mr. Blossom nods. He seemed to be content with this answer. “Well then,” Mr. Blossom puts his hand out and shakes Matthew’s hand. “Ruth’s outback. She’s waiting for you.”

Matthew smiles and walks around the house. He sees Ruth sitting on the back porch and smiles. This was the homecoming that Matthew dreamt of every night whilst overseas.

“Ruth,” Matthew says softly. “Sunshine.”

Ruth breaks out into a large smile. “Matthew.”

“Good evening, as promised, I’m here.”

“As I promised, I have my famous lemonade. The lemons I used are from my victory garden I was telling you about!”

Matthew smiles at the memory of opening all of Ruth’s letters and it smells like home. He loved receiving those letters. Mostly, he just loved Ruth.

“Come, come, let’s sit and drink the lemonade. I also made a key lime pie. It’s citrus night, I guess. My parents already took their pieces so there’s already some taken out of it.” Ruth says brightly. This was exactly what she wanted. To be home with Matthew and in a domestic setting. She loved Matthew so much it hurt.

The pair sat down and Matthew sat down and began sipping the lemonade. He sighs in content. “This is the homecoming that I was waiting for.”

“Oh yeah, you dreamt of the lemonade?” Ruth teases.

“Oh Ruth, that’s not what I meant,” Matthew says. He was referring to being here with Ruth; Matthew dreamt of the days that he’d be able to sit on a back porch with Ruth and just be in her presence.

“Being with your family, then? I can imagine that homecoming was worth dreaming about.”

“They count but why do I need them when I have everything I love right in front of me?” Matthew says with a serious tone.

Ruth’s smile fades. “What?”

“I love you, Ruth, and not just in a friend way. I love you in the sense that I want to marry you and have a family with you. Ruth, you were my homecoming. The rest of the world faded away when I saw you on the platform. Ruth, I love you and I want to marry you one day.”

Ruth’s smile grows wide. “I love you, too. I want all that with you, too, Matthew.”

“Yeah, sunshine? You and me forever?” Matthew says as he walks closer to Ruth.

“Yes, my dear. You and me forever,” Ruth says.

“My dear? I could get used to that, my love.”

“Well, I like my love.”

“In that case, my love, sunshine, may I kiss you?”

“Yes, my dear. You may kiss me.” Matthew leans down and places a soft kiss on Ruth. He was mindful to keep the kiss proper as Mr. and Mrs. Blossom were still in the house.

Matthew wanted to pull the ring out from his pocket and propose right then and there. However, there was a time and place for everything. Tonight? The homecoming. One day, Matthew will tell Ruth how much her letters from home kept him going. One day, Matthew will get his forever with the woman he loves. One day, the letters from home will be the story Matthew and Ruth tell their children. For now, though, Matthew and Ruth are going to soak in the homecoming and the newfound love.

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[retrievablememories]

nepenthe | winwin

title: nepenthe pairing: winwin x black!reader genre: hurt/comfort, fluff request: “Winwin stays with his girlfriend over night while she is sick and takes care of her. This is a major turning point in their relationship because the gf thought that there was a strain in their relationship but him doing this unannounced makes her realize he really cares about her. Black oc? Thank you!” word count: 2.7k warnings: mentions of being sick, relationship troubles, some cursing a/n: nepenthe (n.) — “anything inducing a pleasurable sensation of forgetfulness, especially of sorrow or trouble.”

➠ a part of the nct 127 sleepover series

It’s been awhile since you’ve been able to hang out with Sicheng without your many responsibilities pulling you both in different directions. Therefore, you leapt at the invitation to visit him at the dorm while you both had a window of free time. Getting these kinds of opportunities was not frequent between your college tasks and his work, and you both always tried to plan things well in advance if it was possible.

However, in the few days before you’re supposed to go over to the dorm, a strange itch begins in your throat, and your head feels fuzzy and warm in a bad way. Thinking the worst, you try to get ahead of it by taking medicine and getting more rest, but it’s just a little too late; you’re sick with a cold. You’re naturally upset about it, but you’re even more disappointed because it means you can’t visit Sicheng anymore—not unless you want to get him and everyone else sick.

Either way, you don’t think you could drive to his dorm even if you wanted to attempt it, considering you’ve only been able to get up to use the bathroom and eat whatever snacks or medicine you have around. Every part of your body feels weaker, although this might also be because you haven’t had energy to cook an actual meal.

You don’t want to break the news to him, but the date is creeping closer and it’s better to tell him now than have him be unpleasantly surprised when the day comes and you never show up. So, you sit up in bed as comfortably as you can and call his number, tugging the sheets around you and staring into space unhappily as the phone rings.

“Y/N?”

“Sicheng…”

“Hi Y/N,” one of the other boys says from the background, and you think it might be Yangyang.

“Hi Yang,” you respond, but your voice comes out a bit broken as you cough at the end.

“What’s wrong?” Sicheng asks, and it sounds like he’s walking away—maybe going into another room to talk to you privately.

“I’m really sorry Sicheng, but I can’t come over this week...I’m sick and I feel like pure shit.”

“You’re sick?” Sicheng asks, and he sounds both annoyed and concerned. “Like, you’re really sick?”

“Uh, yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” you ask, irritated by the seemingly silly question.

“Y/N, I was just making sure—it’s not like this is the first time you’ve canceled our plans over one reason or another.”

You roll your eyes and sigh, though it comes out a bit ragged. “Excuse me for getting sick, then. It’s not like I could help it, and every time I canceled I had a valid reason. It’s not like I don’t want to see you.”

“I get it, I get it. I didn’t even suggest that Y/N.”

“But you always sound like you’re upset with me every time it happens.”

“Well, yeah. Do you expect me to be happy about not being able to see my girlfriend?” Now he sounds as irritated as you are.

“That’s not even what I’m talking about and you know it.” You want to say more, but you are already tired and the last thing you want to spend your energy on is arguing.

“Look, I don’t know why—”

“Sicheng, I’m really tired. We can just talk about this later, okay? I’m sorry I can’t come. Goodbye.” You don’t wait for a response before ending the call, and you feel a little bad about it, but you don’t feel like dwelling on any of this at the moment.

You sink further down into the nest of pillows you’ve propped up against your headboard and resign yourself to another long and arduous night of trying to fight your sickness. A few tears drop from your eyes, though you try not to cry too much; that would only make your nose even more stuffed up. Eventually, you fall into a restless and light sleep before you even realize it.

However, you’re frightened awake a half hour later—or maybe it’s an hour later, you’re not totally sure—when your phone rings from underneath one of your many pillows.

It’s Sicheng again. Your stomach drops a bit. Maybe he’s more pissed about you hanging up than you thought he’d be, and he’s calling again to say he’s finally had enough of you flaking on him. Which might be a ridiculous conclusion to jump to in any other relationship, but… “Hello?” you ask, your voice now doubly rough from sleep.

“I hate to ask this of you, but can you let me in? I don’t have a key or anything so…”

You pause for a long moment, then sit up in bed, though it takes an effort. Your head is still hot, and you think you might be having a fever dream or haven’t heard him right. “Let you in?”

“I’m outside,” he confirms.

“Outside…” you repeat. Maybe you shouldn’t be this surprised about your boyfriend coming over to your place, but he gave no indication he was coming over. Or that he was even thrilled about dealing with you in these past few months. Plus, it’s snowing pretty steadily outside and will likely get heavier in the next few hours; not many people would want to travel in that weather.

You get up from the bed and go to the front door. As he said, Sicheng is standing there with two bags on each arm. You shuffle to the side to let him in the door, still feeling surprised but mostly dizzy and feverish. “I didn't know you were coming,” you say absentmindedly.

“You hung up before I could say so,” he says. His tone is light, as though he doesn’t want to make a big deal of it, but you can tell he isn’t super pleased about it.

You shift on your feet a bit awkwardly. “Ah yeah….sorry about that…” You follow Sicheng into your kitchen to watch him set the bags on the kitchen counters, and you’re about to sit in one of the chairs until he hurries over to you and gently grasps your arm.

“You should get back in bed. Don’t worry about this stuff in here, I’ll take care of it and bring you your food.”

You raise your eyebrows, but even that facial movement is enough to make your head throb. “You brought food?”

“Well, I wasn’t going to attempt to cook…” He laughs softly as he guides you back to your bedroom and into your bed, and you’re momentarily embarrassed by how messy everything is. You haven’t had the strength or motivation to tidy anything up, and there are tissues all over the place still.

If he notices the mess, which you know he must, he doesn’t say anything about it. He only helps you back underneath the covers and even takes the initiative to throw the messy tissues in your wastebin. Again, you’re embarrassed by him touching everything like it’s not gross, and you pull the blanket up as if to hide beneath it.

“You don’t have to do all that, I can toss them out later,” you insist.

“It’s fine. You’re the patient, remember? Just let me handle it.” He smiles, and you just nod in response.

“Patient, though...you make me sound so sickly.” You want to laugh but your head hurts too much to do so, and you merely make a wounded sound instead.

“You are the patient. My patient,” Sicheng says, and comes over to lay a hand across your forehead. He makes a sad noise at how hot your skin is under his hand. You want to ask him a bunch of questions about why he came and why he’s being so concerned despite your earlier conversation, though they seem kind of ridiculous to you. He’s your boyfriend, and he’s supposed to be concerned, but for the past few months it seems like a wedge has been growing between you. And now, he’s not even as upset about you not being able to come over as he’d normally be.

Sicheng leaves your bedroom to go take care of the stuff in the kitchen. He comes back a few minutes later with soup and medicine and water, and you watch from where you’re propped up on the pillows as he arranges the things on your nightstand.

“Thank you,” you say as he hands you the medicine and water to take. Sicheng watches as you as you do, and you feel strangely bashful under his gaze.

When you grab the soup, your hands are still a bit shaky, so he offers to take it for you instead. “Are you sure? I feel like I’m a baby or something.” You smirk to yourself and shake your head.

“If I don’t you’ll spill it on yourself, and I don’t think you want that.” Sicheng gives you a small smile, and your cheeks warm a little—more than they already are, anyway—when your hands brush each other’s as he takes the bowl. The feeling is almost foreign; you haven’t experienced that sensation so acutely since you did when you first started dating and everything was still new and electric.

It’s quiet for a while as he feeds you, but you’re increasingly curious about the whole situation, so you finally decide to speak.

“Do the others know you’re gone?” you ask between bites of food. “Like, I mean...I’m sure they do, but…” You’re not sure what exactly you’re trying to ask him, and your words falter for a moment.

“Yes, but I’m not really supposed to be gone right now.” He feeds you another bite, and you chew it somewhat sadly.

“Then why did you come? You could get in trouble.”

“Do you not want me here?” His smile is joking, though it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. That makes you feel guilty. “It doesn’t really matter...it won’t be the first or last time I get into trouble over something that really isn’t that serious.”

“No, I...want you here. I’m surprised you came, though.”

“Why?” he asks, though he looks like he already knows the answer.

“We both know things have been kind of shitty lately. Between us.” You’re wary of expanding any further and dragging up all those unpleasant memories—and ruining the small, relatively peaceful moment you’ve both created—so you let him give you another spoonful of soup to fill the silence.

Sicheng’s smile fades a bit and is replaced with a more solemn look. “You’re not wrong about that. I just...I’m sorry for making you feel like I’ve ignored your feelings. And for being too impatient with you. I want to be next to you all the time, but it’s hard to not be able to do that.”

“It’s not entirely your fault...I haven’t done a great job of keeping to our plans.” You hang your head. “College takes up so much of my time with exams and study groups and whatever, and then this happens…”

Sicheng sets the spoon down in the bowl. “But...I think that’s life. I shouldn’t get mad with you about it. Some things are just out of our control. Seriously, though, I’m really glad that you always focus on your studies. You should. Don’t let me or anything else stop you from making a life for yourself.”

Sighing quietly, you place your hand on Sicheng’s knee, wanting to hold his hand although he’s currently occupied with holding your soup. You settle for tracing your fingertip across the bone of his knee, feeling the solidity of it. It somehow makes you feel grounded. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too, Y/N.” He gives you a bittersweet look and carefully shifts the bowl to his right hand so he can rest his other hand on top of yours. That single gesture makes you want to never let go.

As the night wears on, you assume Sicheng will be readying himself to go back to the dorm soon. The idea of that makes you sad, but you don’t express that aloud; you don’t want to keep him any longer than he should stay. The time on your phone shows it’s almost 1 a.m., and the members will start wondering when he’ll get back if they aren’t already.

However, Sicheng already has different plans of his own.

From where he lies on the bed beside you, he watches you as you recline against the pillows, your eyes dropping a little while you both watch TV. He moves a curly strand of hair out of your face, and you startle a little at the tickle of his fingers on your skin. “Y/N. Do you want me to stay? I mean, I was already planning to...but only if you’re okay with it.”

“Is that a good idea? You could get sick. Actually, you’ve probably already caught all my germs from being here for so long...”

Sicheng shakes his head. “You’re sick. I won’t leave you alone here.”

“But you have schedules and all that, you can’t do those if you catch my cold—”

Sicheng cups your cheek. “Y/N. You can make 100 reasons why I shouldn’t be here, but that doesn’t mean I’ll leave you by yourself like this.”

You sigh and turn to face him. You press your forehead to his, think better of it for a moment, and then do it again anyway. “Okay. Please stay.” Sicheng lifts his head from yours to kiss your forehead, and the soft press of his lips makes you momentarily forget about all of your pains.

You go through your bedtime routine with Sicheng’s help, which feels incredibly nice to do after the last couple days have been spent just falling into bed and feeling super crusty about it. He puts your moisturizer on your face and ties your hair up for you in the mirror, which makes you smile at your reflection.

“Can you get me my bonnet?” you say after he finishes with your hair.

“Bonnet…?”

It’s right then when you realize he hasn’t seen you in a bonnet before. The times you’ve been to his dorm or he’s been at your place, neither of you could spend the night.

You try not to laugh at the confusion on his face. “It’s on the dresser,” you say. “It’s pink. You should recognize it as soon as you see it.”

Sicheng wanders back into your bedroom to find it, though you can almost see the question mark floating above his head. Luckily, he’s successful in his quest and comes back with the pink bonnet after a few moments. “You wear this? What does it do?”

“It protects my hair from breaking,” you tell him. “Cotton pillows are not good for my hair.”

Sicheng nods and fixes your bonnet on your head, his fingers brushing against your hot cheek as he brings his arms back down. “Protects your hair? Hm...should I be wearing one of these too? We could match.”

You burst out in laughter, for real this time, and it makes you cough right after. Sicheng rubs your chest for comfort. “I think you’ll be fine without one, Sicheng.”

Soon enough, you’re both tucked into bed, your room dark and quiet and warm. The snow is still coming down outside, and it’ll probably be high enough to build a snowman with by the time morning comes. You’ll save all that for when you get better, though.

Sicheng wraps his arm around your waist, pulling you closer into his body and tucking you against him as if sheer proximity could cure you of your cold. You smile softly at his actions and tuck your face into his chest, drifting into a sleep that’s more peaceful than any you’ve had in days.

Maybe it won’t cure your sickness, but it is definitely mending the sadness you’d been feeling for so long.

[idontknowwhattomakemyurllol]

Rivals

Summary: You had joined the ball and just found out you will be one of the many candidates to be Prince Todoroki’s wife. But are one of the few that The King has his eyes on. As you meet your rival at the ball, you begin to favor her more than your supposed love interest.

Warning : Reader is a girl!

Word Count: 6.5k

A/N: I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE I WAS GOING WITH THIS BUT I DID IT!! So yes...The ending is very rushed BUT HEY IM TRYING OKAY. Originally “idea 1″ was supposed to be a modern au thing but I ended up making this so yeah- might make this a miniseries if I’m up for it! Uhhh ENJOY or smth 

The Ball

The waltz began. Many guests, including you, entered the ballroom. As you locked arms with your father, the Lord of a noble house you became mesmerized with how majestic the ballroom was. You knew it would be large since it was a castle, but you didn’t realize how small the room would make you feel. Looking up at the gigantic chandelier that hung on the high ceiling, you wondered how many stacks of books it would take for it to reach to the top. It was filled with people, as if you were many fish in the sea. Like a flock of birds gathered around together.

Every maiden in the kingdom wanted to be here and who could blame them. But their reasoning was not the same as yours. They wanted to see the Prince. Prince Todoroki, Shoto. You didn’t want to sound so full of yourself, but you weren’t that interested in him. Of course, even you would admit he is quite attractive. Even with that scar on his face that suddenly appeared somewhere around his childhood.

But back to the topic, you never really were interested. The only reason you were excited to come here was because of the castle and its many wonders. There have been whispers of what lies within this castle. Some say ghosts of the old kings haunt this castle at night. That all the late nobles come together at night in the ballroom, when there is no light, to have an annual ball. Others say that there are secret rooms filled with the many treasures of the kingdom. Hidden away from any thieves who dare to try and steal it away. You wanted to know about it all.

As you and your father walked, you finally realized who you were approaching. The King, Todoroki Enji, and his son The Prince, Todoroki Shoto. As you slowly approached them you slowly let go of your father’s arm. Preparing to curtsy. And you did, smiling at The King when you lifted your head to look at him. You had seen him in your house somewhere during your childhood, since your father was a friend of his. But you were never allowed to go to the castle or to speak to him yourself.

.“My King, it is good to see you are doing well.” Your father greeted. The King, who others call, “Endeavor”, nodded. “Thank you, I’m glad to see you’re doing fine.” the giant man then looked at you for a quick moment before turning back to your father. “This is your daughter I presume?” He asked. Your father nodded, “This is my lovely daughter, L/N Y/N.” as your father stated your name you curtsied once more. “It is an honor to be in your presence, My King.” although you never really agreed with what the king did, and honestly you quite disliked him, the least you could do was respect him. 

The King huffed, “So she is one of the candidates for the role of my young Shoto’s wife.” the statement made your eyes go wide. And you did your best to gracefully lift your head up and look at your father. Your father filled with delight agreed. “Why yes, my daughter is quite the lady. I’m sure she’d make a great wife for the young prince.” Your eyes stared at your father. A disappointed stare.

You weren’t against the idea of marriage. Although the idea of marrying a man made you uncomfortable the biggest reasons were that marriage is arranged and that it takes what little freedom you have.You wanted to be free, to see the world for what it truly was, good or bad. You wanted an adventure. An adventure where you would ride your house out into the wild and try to catch the beautiful sunset. An adventure that you could write a book about. You wanted and adventure. But of course, at the back of your mind you knew it could never be true. You were just a girl, you couldn’t do that. No matter how hard you dreamed, it could never be.

E/c eyes look towards the young Prince who didn’t even look at you. He seemed angry, maybe he didn’t want to get married either. He also looked quite sad, a tint of disappointment in his dual eyes, but you could tell it was mostly filled with frustration. You had heard that he and his father don’t get along. There were rumors that his father had something to do with the scar on the poor boy’s face. And something to do with his mother. The Prince was known to love his mother dearly. And when she was sent away that was about the same time his scar was revealed.

“Good luck competing for his heart. I advise you to do your best, since there is another candidate I believe is worthy of the royal life.” your train of thoughts stopped as he said that and you looked to him. A bit afraid of him honestly. “And who is that, if I may ask..?” you tried to speak up, but the realization of getting a husband made you tense. “Lady Yaoyorozu Momo.”

Yaoyorozu Momo. You had heard of her before. She was said to be very beautiful, intelligent, and well mannered. Everything a proper lady should be. At least that’s what most people said a lady should be. You’ve always wanted to meet her and see for yourself who she was. From what you heard she sounded quite lovely.

Nodding, you tried to clear the thoughts from your head. You just wanted to get away from this conversation as fast as you could. And then a man announced from the entrance. “Welcoming, The House of Yaoyorozu.” and there she was.

What people said about her did her justice. Hair as dark as a midnight sky. Eyes twinkled as if there were millions of stars within them. Fair and smooth porcelain skin. Soft and graceful movements. With every step she took, it looked like she was floating. Her dress flowed with her as she walked down the stairs. She looked like an angel, scratch that, a goddess from Heaven. And she took your breath away.

You couldn’t take your eyes off of her. She looked beautiful. Too good to be true. And even as you stared at her you only realized that she was near you when her Father spoke. “My King, it is good to see you again. And lord L/N, it is quite the honor to finally meet you.” the man reached out his hand and your father shook it. “I’ve heard good things about you. It is an honor to meet you as well.” your father replied, a smile gracing his face.

The Prince looked at the Lady and she smiled. And you felt a sting in your heart. Right. You are supposed to compete for The Prince’s heart. Why did that make you so sad? “My Prince, may I introduce my daughter. Yaoyorozu Momo.” and as she was introduced she curtsied. “It is an honor to be in your presence, Prince Todoroki.” The Prince simply nodded and didn’t say a word, which made you frustrated. A beautiful woman had just greeted you and all he could do was nod. Seemed quite ungrateful to you.

“Lady Yaoyrozu, this is Lady L/N. You two will be competing for The Prince’s heart.” your father placed a hand on your shoulder and gently pushed you towards her, since you were hiding behind your father as soon as she entered. You felt your heart beat out of your chest when he did and felt your face begin to burn. Yaoyorozu’s eyes widened when she saw you and you felt like you stopped breathing. You then realized the tint of red spreading across her cheeks.

“Lady L/N, I hope we can still be friends even if we are supposedly rivals!” she blurted out, she seemed a little nervous which made you laugh in relief, knowing you weren’t the only one who felt that way. “It is an honor to meet you as well, Lady Yaoyorozu. And I’d love to be your friend.” you smiled and you saw her smile back.

You and your father then bid them goodbye so that The Yaoyorozus could talk to The Todorokis And the whole time you couldn’t stop thinking about her. While in the middle of conversations with others you glanced at her a lot. Wanting to talk to her more, you just needed to find the opportunity. Then you were told to dance by your father. You never really liked dancing. Only time you did was with your mother and father, and that was rare. Whenever you would dance with someone else you always felt quite uncomfortable. It didn’t feel right. You always tried to get out of it but it seems you couldn’t this time. So you begrudgingly complied. 

As you danced with the many strangers and few friends you wondered how long it would take until the dance ended. Spinning around the room and being passed to the next stranger and onto the next then the next then the next. It felt exhausting to you. Especially since some would try to start a conversation. Most of the time you would love to have a small chat but you weren’t necessarily in the mood to talk to any of the men. You closed your eyes as you were passed onto the next. And heard a small gasp when they held your waist. It didn’t feel like the touch of a man. And so you opened your eyes to find. Yaoyorozu leading the dance.

You blushed bright red as you continued to dance with her. “L-Lady Yaoyorozu! What are you doing..?” you asked as she spun you for a bit. “I just went up to the man dancing with you a while ago and was about to speak before he tossed you over to me..! I’m sorry! I grabbed your waist by instinct!!” she apologized and you laughed. “I-It’s alright! It’s just a little weird for two girls to be dancing together isn’t it?” you laughed again, for some reason you couldn’t stop smiling around her. You heard her laugh in return, and felt like you wanted to scream! In a good way. “A little. But it does feel quite nice not to have some man hold my waist a little too tightly!” she joked and you sympathized with her. There were some men who let’s say..Weren’t the best of dancers.

“We should probably get out of here. If we don’t want more people to stare at us.” you suggested noticing a few of the guests talking about the two of you and she agreed. Looking out towards a door that leads to a balcony before taking control again and spinning the two of you towards that direction. Some people noticed, but you didn’t really care. You were having too much fun to care enough about what they think.

The cool breeze hit both of your faces as you somehow managed to open the door, all while holding each other’s hand. The two of you laughing and at the same time trying to catch your breath. “Did you see that one woman’s face..? She seemed so disgusted at the sight of us dancing!! It was hilarious!!” you giggled and Momo agreed. “I know!! I don’t usually find joy in doing these things but just seeing all their faces because we were holding hands..!” you both cackled.

Catching her breath Yaoyorozu then slowly walked towards the concrete railing and looked out at the garden below. You went after her and followed her gaze. It was a statue of two young girls sitting next to each other. “That’s a lovely statue.” you commented and Yaoyorozu hummed. “They seem so calm and safe together.” The statement peeked your interest. “If I may ask…Do you not feel comfortable around others..?” you asked. Hoping it wasn’t too personal. “Well…Around some people yes haha. Don’t you as well..?” she asked and you nodded. “I hope you don’t think of me as weird, but I usually feel uncomfortable with men courting me..” The lady admitted. And you stared in bewilderment.

“You. One of the most beautiful woman I have ever ever seen does not like being courted..? That’s a bit of a surprise.” She stopped for a moment and looked at you, red spreading across her cheeks. “You..Think I’m beautiful?” she said a bit dazed.

Now you were the one blushing. “Well..Yeah I think you’re quite beautiful..I assumed you’ve been told that a million times by many men and women though…” you uttered. Playing with a strand of hair. Her lips parted for a moment before she averted your gaze “Well…Yes but I didn’t expect you to think the same…” “What do you mean..?” you questioned a bit baffled about what she had said. “Well….I didn’t think that somebody as breathtaking as you would think that I’m beautiful…I was quite shocked when you laughed at me, I thought you were going to hate me for messing up!” she confessed. A bit embarrassed as she said that.

She thought you were pretty..? The thought left you speechless. While you were at a lost for words that made Yaoyorozu assume that you didn’t like what she said. “Oh my..I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to insult you..” she apologized. You jumped and waved your hands around realizing you gave the wrong impression. “W-What!? No, no, no! I’m sorry! I was just shocked that you thought about me that way!! I-In a good way of course!!” you said, hoping to make the air less tense. “A-Ah, I see. Sorry..” she said again. “Stop saying sorry Lady Yaoyorozu, It’s not your fault. Just a little misunderstanding, yes? It’s not like you said I was ugly or anything!” she snorted but nodded.

“You know what? I know we just met but I’ve never met anyone like you.” she spoke and you smiled. “Really now? Are you just trying to flatter me or are you telling the truth?” you teased and she chuckled “I am telling the truth! I’ve never felt so safe around someone…Not in a long while at least.” she persisted. “I feel like I can do stupid things around you and you wouldn’t judge me. You’d probably laugh but you wouldn’t judge..! It’s so weird isn’t it. I’ve known you for only a couple hours and yet I feel like I can trust you with my life. It just doesn’t make sense.” she muttered. You beamed and shook your head. “Don’t worry, I feel the same way. I feel like I’ve known you for years even though I don’t even know what your favorite flower is.” you sighed.

“Asters.” she mentioned. “What?” “Asters..I think they’re quite lovely.” she said and you mouthed an ‘O’. “Well I’ll have to get you some the next time we meet then.” you noted and she turned to you smiling softly. “I’d love that. Thank you.”

Looking back at the door, you realized that you two would have to go back. Back to that…Was all that all really worth it? Just for some guy who didn’t really care about you? He’s rich, handsome, and smart, but is it really worth what you two have right now..? ”What’s wrong?” she asked, a bit concerned that you suddenly went quiet. “Do you think we’re really gonna have to fight each other just for him…?” you expressed your concern. You didn’t wanna lose her so soon. You didn’t want to lose her ever. You don’t want to let her go.

She put her hand on top of yours and spoke. “Well, we would have to fight. It’s what they want. But we won’t hate each other right? Just some friendly rivalry. I believe that we’ll stay friends, and become good friends later on no matter what happens. Don’t you feel the same..?” she asked, a bit bashful that she had said something so cheesy. But you could tell she meant every word she said.

You were once again at a lose for words. Feeling like you were on cloud 9 when she looked at you like that. She looked at you like you were the most precious thing in her life. You could tell, it was written all over her face. The faint blush you could see on her cheeks made you blush in return. The soft smile she gave left your body melting. You finally muttered a “Yes.” and couldn’t say anything else. You just stared at each other. Before your body moved on it’s own and inched towards her little by little, as you moved you noticed her copying you and moving closer as well.

Only a few inches away from each other you could feel her breath reaching your face. And as you were about to get even closer you heard the door creak. The two of you flinched and immediately backed away from each other. Creating a safe distance for people to assume you weren’t about to do what you think you were about to.

The door opened to reveal your father. “Y/N! I see you’ve become well acquainted with your rival, that is nice of you.” he said as he walked towards the two flustered women. “Ah- yes father. I believe we have..” you lingered on the last word and looked at her, and your eyes met. “Very close friends..” you added on before looking back at the tall man. He looked between the two of you and smiled. “That’s good to hear! Now I won’t have to worry about going to war with her father!’ he joked and you nervously chuckled. “Haha…Why…Yes..” you said, your voice trembling in fear of the thought.

“Lady Yaoyrozu, you must come with us. Your father has requested for you to return to his side at once.” he announced. Grabbing your hand to drag you along. You grabbed Yaoyorozu’s hand as fast as you could to make sure she wouldn’t get left behind and felt a shock of electricity coursing through you. Her eyes widened as she got dragged along with you and your father and intertwined her fingers with yours. She held your hand tighter, and it felt so right to hold her hand like this. Not wanting to let go,

But you tried not to get flustered. Not wanting your father to see you like this. Taking a deep breath and following your father’s pace. Not long after Yaoyorozu did the same. You two entered the ballroom and saw Yaoyorozu’s dad walking towards you. Yaoyorozu immediately let go of your hand and you felt a wave of sadness wash over your body. “Momo, dear. You haven’t had a chance to dance with The Young Prince yet. Remember what me and your mother told you.” the man said approaching the three of you. Yaoyorozu looked up at her father. Looking like she was about to say something before closing her mouth and saying something else instead. “Yes father, I remember.” she sighed. You looked at her worriedly. This seemed quite stressful for her.

He nodded in approval, “Good. Thank you Lady L/N, for keeping my daughter company but we must go now.” he gave a short bow before taking his daughter’s hand and pulled her away from you. Yaoyorozu looked behind her and smiled at you sadly. You waved at her and disappeared into the crowd of people, your dad leading the way as he saw a good friend and wanted to introduce you to them.

The night had suddenly went from exhilarating to exhausting in the matter of a few minutes. As soon as you bid her goodbye you felt a bit tired. You talked to a couple of people that night and none of them seemed to interest you, not as much as she did. You wanted to see her again, talk to her again, anything. You just wanted to see her, but she was nowhere to be found. As your father chatted with another friend of his you looked towards the dance floor, only maybe an hour ago the two of you were there dancing together.

Black hair caught your field of vision. Her red dress flowing with every spin and step. As he put his hand on her waist, leading the dance. The Prince and The Lady. Dancing together. Your heart stung and you looked at them. Your brain couldn’t even process a single thought. All you saw was them. You started hearing the whispers from some of the other guests. “Look at that, Lady Yaoyorozu is dancing with The Prince!!” “Ahh! Some girl is dancing with The Prince! I’m so jealous!!” “It should’ve been me..!” mixed opinions about the two of them both bad and good. But you didn’t care. That only added to the fire burning your heart. You looked at the way Yaoyorozu looked at him, gaze full of adoration and care. And you bit your lip. Wanting to scream and break the two up. You didn’t know why you were feeling this way but you did not like it one bit.

You coughed and nudged your father’s shoulder and he turned his focus to you. “Father, may I go out to get some fresh air?” you asked, trying not to sound like you were begging to get away from this. “Ah, jealous of Lady Yaoyorozu dancing with The Prince I see! Don’t worry child you’ll get your turn.” he laughed and you wanted to yell at him so bad. Holding back you smiled. “Yes, a little. But really father, may I go?” you asked again and he nodded. “Be sure to come back right away though. Maybe you’ll get to dance with The Prince later on!!”.

Not replying to your father you walked away from the ballroom, just wanting to get away from it all. Just for a little bit. You wondered if you should go to the balcony knowing it would make you feel worse. But you went anyway. Opening the doors and being greeted with the cold breeze again. You sighed and closed the gigantic doors. “Oh, hello.” somebody greeted and you flinched. Swiftly turning your head to see who it was. It was The Princess, Todoroki Fuyumi. Your eyes widened as you laid eyes on her.

Beautiful white hair with strands of red within them, a shade of gray for her eyes. She looked magical. As if you were wandering through a forest and found a mythical creature. You stuttered, knowing you had to greet her but not finding the courage to move. “A-Are you alright? You seem quite startled..” she commented. “S-Sorry! Your majesty!!” you sputtered and curtsied as gracefully as you could. Something was wrong with you today. She jumped, a bit surprised and laughed at the sudden movement “It’s alright. I’d be startled as well. No need for the formalities.” she said kindly.

You blushed, embarrassed that you were so nervous in front of The Princess. “Please, lift your head up.” she requested, and you hesitantly lifted your head up to find her in front of you lending a hand. You gulped but took it, why is everyone’s hands so soft? She leaded you to the railing and you both gazed on the garden. “Uhm..Your Majesty.” you started. “Please, just call me Fuyumi. I really don’t mind.” she chuckled. “Oh..Okay..Well then..Princess Fuyumi uhm..” you mumbled. “Why are you here? The only people I’ve really seen at the party is The King and The Prince..Aren’t you and The other Prince supposed to attend as well…?” you asked.

She sighed and looked at the fountain, rather sadly. “Oh- I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to ask such a personal question!!” you exclaimed and she jumped, startled, again. “No no it’s okay! It’s just..” she stopped. Smiling sadly. "It’s a bit private..But I’m here because the party just seemed..A bit tense to me.” she sighed again and you nodded. “What about you? Oh I’m sorry I haven’t even asked for your name!” Fuyumi smiled. “Oh..I just wanted some fresh air haha it seems a little crowded in there.” you stated. Fuyumil laughed, a soft and gentle laugh. “It is expected, since we don’t throw parties much, and..Since Shoto is to look for a bride…” her gaze softened and she frowned.

“is..The Prince not fond of the idea of marriage?” you said out loud, not really realizing you did. Fuyumi’s eyebrows lifted and before you could apologize she spoke. “Well, not really. I truly do believe he wants a family as much as the next person. The thing is..It’s chosen by father.” she explained and you shut up. “He has expressed how he doesn’t want to be engaged just yet and wants to marry who he wants. But of course, Father won’t allow it.” she bit her lip and clenched her fist a bit. “Father wants Shoto to rule the kingdom, so I’m not surprised that he’s already searching for a suitable bride.” she turned to you and saw your worried expression. Laughing she brushed It off. “Apologies, I did not mean to say so much.” she waved her hand a little. “No it’s alright! I’m a bit glad you told me, at least now I understand why The Prince was acting that way.” Fuyumi hummed and rested her cheek on her hand. “Now you still haven’t told me your name…” your eyes widened as you realized you still haven’t told her. “Oh- Sorry! It’s L/N..”

Fuyumi smiled. “L/N Y/N..I believe I’ve heard of you before.” she said. Your eyes widened in surprise that she knew your first name. “Y/N…A lovely name.” she complimented and you blushed. “T-Thank you, Princess Fuyumi.” you thanked her. Fuyumi looked at the doors leading to the party. “How about I introduce you to my brother? I’m sure you two would be good friends.” your heart stopped, and not in the good way that you liked. As you looked at the door sadly as well. Fuyumi noticed and it clicked. “Oh..Oh my I’m sorry I didn’t realize..” you shook your head. “No it’s alright. I should get used to it.” you let out a breathy laugh.

The lady with hair as white as now frowned. “Do you not want to get married as well?” she asked. You rested your arms on the railings. Looking at the statue of the two girls that Yaoyorozu had mentioned. “I’m not sure. I feel like I do want to get married. Spending my whole life with someone who makes me truly happy sounds delightful but..” you looked downcast and you felt your heart sink. “But..?” Fuyumi repeated. You sighed, “But…I can’t imagine myself getting married to anyone…Whenever I do it just..Doesn’t feel right..” Fuyumi hummed. “Maybe you haven’t found the right person yet.” she encouraged. Images of Yaoyorozu then filled your thoughts and you closed your eyes. “Maybe.” is all you said.

The Princess took your hand and your eyes shot open. “Do you wanna go back inside? We can even go together!” she encouraged. You smiled at her optimism. Although you didn’t really feel prepared, you felt a bit safe around her. She was The Princess. And if this would help you clear your thoughts a little, why not. So you decided to go. Fuyumi closed the doors and walked with you then she locked her arms with yours. Making your cheeks flush red. Yet you replicated the gesture and tried to regain your composure. Arm in arm you both entered the party. As you did you felt the stares of the other party guests and the small whispers that came along with it. You gulped but that only made The Princess’ grip a bit tighter, as if reassuring you that you’ll be okay.

The gesture helped you relax a bit. “Are you okay with talking to other guests right now?” she asked. You were confused as to why she wanted to talk to other guests with you but you nodded. As long as she was there and led the conversation you should be fine. Fuyumi leaded you around the ballroom talking to many other guests, introducing you to new people. It helped you take your mind off of things for a bit, but you still wondered where Yaoyorozu was. You chatted with more and more people. And you felt quite busy.

It was nearly the end of the ball, maybe a few minutes until it would end. As you were listening to a story that one of Fuyumi’s friends was telling, The Princess tapped her shoulder. “Is it okay if I steal Y/N for a moment?” hearing your first name come from Fuyumi’s mouth was a bit shocking, even though she was referring to you as such the entire time. The girl agreed and Fuyumi stole you away from her. Locking arms with you and taking you to where The King was. “P-Princess Fuyumi, where are we going..?” you asked even though you were fully aware of where you were going.

“To my father, I want to introduce you to him.” she said happily and you grimaced. The King seemed to notice his daughter walking over to him and turned his focus to the two of you, dismissing whoever he was talking to. Fuyumi smiled sweetly at her father, even though he did not return it. “Good evening Father.” she greeted and the two of you curtsied at the same time. Lifting your heads up at the same time as well, only she was looking directly at her father while you looked the other way. She locked arms with you once more. “I wanted to introduce you to a friend, Lady L/N Y/N.” she said, as if this was the first time you two met. You sighed but smiled up at the giant man. “It is an honor to see you again, My King.”

The King huffed, “It is good to see you too.” Fuyumi looked between the two of you. “Ah! You two have already met...I see. My apologies then, Father.” she said nervously. “I don’t mind.” he said, noticing you two locking arms. “You’ve become quite close I take it.” he commented, he was probably expecting you to answer since he was looking directly at you. “Yes Your Majesty, I believe me and Princess Fuyumi have become quite close.” King Todoroki glared a bit at Fuyumi, and while that sent a shiver down both of your spines Fuyumi seemed to be less afraid. “Why is she calling you by your first name?” he asked, a bit annoyed. “I asked her to, Father. Don’t get mad at her.” she said in a clear voice. They stared at each other for a few moments until it seemed as If he let it go.

Another guest approached the three of you and Fuyumi asked to be excused. Her Father agreed and she dragged you away. “That went well.” Fuyumi happily spoke. “Are you kidding? I felt like he was going to kill me just by his stare!” you whisper shouted. “Father can..Be quite..Aggressive..B-But I’m sure he means well!” Fuyumi tried to reassure you. But you weren’t sure if it was helping. “I want to see your father before the night ends and tell him how wonderful you are haha!” You blushed at the compliment. Why do you keep blushing. “Fuyumi why are you doing this for me?” you asked, laughing a bit at what she had said. Fuyumi looked directly at you for a moment before speaking. As if she was thinking of what to say. “Because, you seem like a nice person and I want to get to know you better.” she smiled. You felt a bit relieved for some reason.

Looking around the ballroom you searched for your father with Fuyumi, but couldn’t find him. And then the clock had struck and King Todoroku had given his closing speech. The ball was coming to an end. As guests bid each other goodbye you and Fuyumi wondered where your father was. “Oh goodness, where is your father?” she said in between bidding her guests. “I don’t know…” “Lady L/N…?”

You swiftly turned your head to see Yaoyorozu walking towards you in all her glory. “A-Ah, Lady Yaoyorozu.” you let go of Fuyumi’s arm and walked to her. “What are you doing here Lady Yaoyorozu? Where is your Father?” you asked her in concern. “I was looking for you. I wanted to say goodbye before I had to go. I thought you would’ve went with your Father by now but he was waiting outside..” she said. So that’s where he was. “Oh alright. Thank you then!” you smiled. “Princess Fuyumi! I know where my father is!” you called out. She turned her head and bowed quickly to the person she was talking to and ran over to you.

“P-Princess?” Yaoyorozu stuttered. “Princess Todoroki! Your higness! It is an honor to finally meet you!” Yaoyorozu quickly curtsied. ‘Cute.’ you thought. “It is an honor to meet you too, Lady Yaoyorozu.” Fuyumi smiled. “Now Y/N, let’s get you to your father, I want to see you off! Lady Yaoyorozu please do tag a long!” Fuyumi offered. Yaoyorozu’s eyes widened looking between you and Fuyumi.Her brows furrowed for a moment before she loosened up, she seemed to have brush off whatever she was thinking. “Of course, Your Majesty!” she said, her voice calm this time. Fuyumi walked, a hand on your shoulder and Yaoyorozu followed, walking beside you as well.

You looked down at Yaoyorozu’s hand wanting to hold it until. “Y/N! There you are.” your father’s voice boomed through the room. Your father bowed before Princess Fuyumi and he thanked her for keeping you company. While he did Yaoyorozu quickly leaned in close to your ear and whispered, “I’ll write a letter to you when I get home. It was nice spending some time with you, Y/N.” she said, before walking away to her father. You blushed at her saying your first name and you felt dizzy, in a good way..? “Y/N? What’s wrong? You seem red..!” Fuyumi spoke and you laughed. “W-What? O-OH! Sorry!! haha..” you exclaimed looking back at the direction Yaoyorozu walked away from. Fuyumi looked at where you were looking and she was still confused. She hugged you anyways and you returned the gesture, feeling like you were about to ascend into heaven at any moment. “I’ll see you soon, Y/N!” she smiled and let go. Bidding your Father goodbye before running off to the hall,a couple of guards following her on the way.

“Y/N, let’s go. Your mother would want to hear all about what happened.” he laughed, taking your hand and guiding you through the halls. Guards following behind you. “She sure will.” you agreed. Already knowing that you will be bombarded with questions when you get home. “So, did you have fun tonight? You must be sad that you didn’t get to dance with The Prince.” he said. You looked up at him, and thought about everything that happened. “I had fun today, Father. My rival is quite lovely.” Your father raised a brow, “You do know you will have to fight each other dear.” you shrugged. “She’s my friend papa, I can tell that that won’t come between us.”

[ambientstars]

Praise - part 3 (Whittaker!master x reader)

Gif credit: unknown

Warnings: angst, alcohol, eventually nsfw (tied up, blindfolded, praise kink, waxplay), but mostly a bunch of softness you’re welcome

Note: SURPRISE!! I didn’t plan on making a third part to this, but literally one person asked and that all it took for me to write it. This will be the final part because I don’t think I can take it any further. Kind of a longer one this time (2k more than usual) because ya girl tried to put some more storyline into it. Anyway, enjoy my loves!

———

“How do I look?”

You stood facing the mirror, smoothing out your outfit and taking in your reflection.

“You could be wearing a paper bag and I’d still eat you up,” The Master stood behind you, hands on your waist, her fingers digging into you almost painfully. “But I must say you look delicious in this.”

You frowned, confused. “I’m not a snack, you know?”

She laughed, moving hair from your shoulder and placed a wet kiss on the side of your neck. “No, darling, you are the whole meal.”

You turned, amusement clear on your face. “Are you hungry or something? Do you want to go and get some space food instead?”

The Master snorted, stepping away from you and picking up her jacket. “Let’s just go.”

Today was the anniversary of your renewed relationship with The Master. It marked one year of being by her side, of calling her yours and of being the happiest you’d ever been in your life.

And boy, what a year it had been. It started off just like it had before, full of passion, heated desire for one another and spending most days close to each other, taking every opportunity to touch, kiss and caress the other every chance they got.

Except this time, it didn’t fizzle out, it didn’t turn sour and it didn’t become toxic. Your relationship became stronger every day, your trust for each other grew to new heights and you considered it to be healthier than it ever was before.

Tonight you were going out to celebrate, to the club you reunited with The Master at. She had said it would be a nice full circle moment and you had to agree, for if you hadn’t gone there in the first place, you wouldn’t have seen her again and began a new journey with her.

——

The club was just as packed as it always was, each area full of aliens of all kinds, the line to get in twisting around the building.

The Master walked right up to the entrance of the club, ignoring the queue entirely. You hurried along with your hand in hers, trying to keep up with her quick pace despite her high heels.

The bouncer at the door nodded at the timelord in recognition and opened the door without a single word, allowing you both in immediately.

Sometimes it slipped your mind that you see a different side of The Master, others viewing her as dangerous and evil, not to be messed with and granting her whatever it is that she demanded for the sake of their lives.

She led you straight to the bar, pushing past the crowds and stopping at the VIP spot of the bar where orders were taken first before anyone else waiting. She ordered your favourite drink without you having to tell her and it made your stomach flutter that she actually did listen and learn about what makes you click and your favourite things.

The drinks were on the house just like they always were. The Master never paid for anything, ever and it was a hard press to even think of a time you’d seen her with real money in her possession.

“What’s got you so tense, darling?” The Master slipped a hand around your waist and pulled you in close, which admittedly did help to relieve the odd tension in your shoulders. “Relax, enjoy yourself. There’s no danger here. Not with me around.”

You didn’t need to look at her face to know a self satisfacted smirk was painted right across it. “Something just feels off.”

She took the glass from your hand and released her gentle hold on you, effectively removing the protected feeling it gave you. “Why don’t you go and dance for a while? Burn off some of that tension.”

You finally looked at her, your cheeks heating up just at the sight of her under the colourful lights. “I don’t know… I’m not really feeling it.”

Placing your glass on top of the bar, she held your chin between her finger and thumb, and brought her face inches from yourself. “I’m not asking. I want to watch you dance. Now be a good girl and give me a show.”

After a quick peck on the lips, she moved away from you and seated herself at an empty table with a perfect view of the dance floor.

You did as you were told, making your way over to the dance floor and taking a deep breath, trying to push away the bad feeling in your stomach and allowing yourself to enjoy the music playing loudly throughout the building.

You performed as best as you could for The Master, your eyes closed, your hips swaying and your hands roaming your body like you were exploring it for the first time. Eventually your muscles relaxed and you could let yourself move freely with the music, a soft smile gracing your face towards the end of the song.

The sinking feeling in your stomach returned, however, when you opened your eyes expecting to see The Master watching you with a proud look and instead catching the eye of The Doctor who stood only a few meters away from you.

He was with someone, a redhead woman, who stood closely by his side, smiling up at him.

She was beautiful, from what you could tell at this distance with flashing lights in your eyes, her frame petite and clothing that seemed more casual than your own, almost like she didn’t expect to be brought here and instead dressed for a different kind of outing - which didn’t seem entirely impossible given The Doctor’s habit of landing in wrong places at the wrong time more often than not.

You held his gaze for what felt like an eternity, your face no doubt mirroring his own expression of shock, confusion and hurt.

You hadn’t seen or spoken to The Doctor since you left him a year ago, abandoning him yet again without saying goodbye. You often wondered how he was, hoping you’d bump into him one day if only to know that he was still alive and well, your guilt eating you up inside, but now that it was happening, it felt like a metaphorical house of emotion was crushing you, not at all feeling the way you thought it would when you eventually saw him again.

In your stupor you hadn’t noticed The Master come to stand beside you, also looking in The Doctor’s direction, but eyeing up his new companion instead. “See? I told you that you’d be replaced in no time.”

The Master loved a good I told you so moment and this one hurt, like salt in a wound. She was right, of course she was. She knew from the very beginning that your spot would be filled by someone else almost as if you never existed and deep down you knew it too, but a small part of you hoped that it wouldn’t be so soon, that you meant more to him than just someone occupying an empty space in his life and replacing you as soon as you left.

You broke the eye contact with the timelord you once viewed as your best friend and turned to walk in the direction of the restroom. The Master was hot on your heels, throwing an unreadable look towards The Doctor as she also turned.

You fought back tears as you reached the door, flinging it open and pushing past everyone inside to get to the sink, ignoring the grumbles and annoyed comments thrown your way for the intrusion. You leaned against the basin, breathing deeply to try and keep the sobs at bay, your throat tightening.

From beside you, you heard The Master tell everyone inside to leave and give you both some privacy or else face the consequences. Of course they all listened immediately and hurried out until it was just you and her left in the room.

“What’s all this for?” She came to stand beside you, leaning back against the sink next to the one you occupied. “You’re actually sad? Need I remind you, you left him?”

You sniffled and shook your head, willing yourself to calm down. Again, The Master was right. You had been the one to leave him, not the other way around. You had no right to be so upset to see him with someone else when you came here with your own someone - someone he’d been at war with since post childhood, someone he thought would kill you in cold blood, someone who was the last person he wanted to see you run away with.

“I just didn’t think he’d find someone else so quickly.” You released a shaky breath and quickly wiped away a stray tear that had managed to escape. “Just hurts to know I’m so replaceable, that’s all.”

The Master laughed lightly from beside you despite you not having told a joke, her body twisting to face you. She turned you also, holding your shoulders in her hands and forcing you to face her.

“Darling, look at me.”

You did as you were told once again, bringing your watery eyes up to meet hers, the hazel colouring of them appearing darker under the dim and almost useless lighting of the small room.

“First things first, you are not replaceable. And secondly, the man is an idiot.” She rolled her eyes, genuine disbelief on her face. “He brought someone new into his life so fast because he didn’t know what he had standing right in front of him. He doesn’t define your worth, no matter how you felt for him.”

“And you do?”

She smiled softly, moving a hand to rest on the side of your face to gently stroke your pink cheek. “No, my love. Only you do, no one else.”

A warmth came over you, a deep and genuine love for The Master filling your chest. It wasn’t lost on you that during your year together, she had become softer, kinder and more loving. It seemed as if she was a different person from who she was in your first attempt at this relationship, more willing to show vulnerability and voicing her feelings out loud.

Although this was only ever shown to you. To everyone else she was still the heartless monster who killed for fun, none of them understanding how she managed to find someone to love her despite her evil ways. You had to admit that you understood their point of view, but to you, she wasn’t those things.

The door suddenly swung open and in walked the redhead who had taken your spot in The Doctor’s life. She smiled politely and grabbed some tissue from the stall furthest away from you, using it to blot away a wet patch on her tshirt.

“My friend is such an idiot sometimes,” she began talking as if you’d known each other forever. Or at all.

At that The Master made a face at you that said see? He really is.

“Spilt his drink down me while he was distracted by something. Not sure what he was looking at or what he was drinking, but it will come out, right? Do alien drinks stain? I guess I could— I’m sorry, have I interrupted something?”

You hadn’t noticed that by now both you and The Master were staring at the girl with unwelcome looks, your eyes having since dried up and The Masters hand that had fallen to your arm tightening.

“Your friend, what’s his name?”

The redhead gave a look of confusion towards The Master, but remained polite. “The Doctor. Maybe you know him? He’s quite well known.”

Your lover sniggered, stepping away from you and moving towards the other woman. “Indeed.”

You prayed silently that she would be nice, it wasn’t your replacement’s fault you were in this situation. She seemed nice enough and knowing The Doctor as well as you did, he probably hadn’t even told her you existed, that you held her place before her, that he had just been left alone without so much as a word about it.

“Let me buy you a drink.”

The Master’s tone seemed genuine, kind even. You didn’t understand what her motive was, but you sent out yet another prayer that it wasn’t sinister given that your last prayer was seemingly heard and granted.

It took very little time to convince the other woman to allow The Master to buy her a drink, the excuse of let me make up for his mistake passed by your ears and you knew that although it was said directly to the redhead, it was also meant for you.

Your hand stayed firmly planted in The Master’s, a new drink held in your other. You sipped on it slowly, feeling tired at the wide range of emotions you had experienced in such a short amount of time and hearing The Master make small talk with the other woman who also had a new drink in hand.

From the corner of your eye you saw The Doctor standing on his own, just like he had been the first time he’d been left on the dance floor all that time ago, bewildered at what he was seeing.

It suddenly clicked in your mind what The Master was doing, why she had invited the redhead for a drink at the bar. She wanted The Doctor to see that she had yet again taken his friend from him, allowing him to see that they would rather spend time with her than with him and sending out a message that no matter how many times he replaced his companions, she would be there each time to steal them away and give them something better.

The Master was smart and carefully calculated, her plan working perfectly, The Doctor’s fists bunched up and his brows knitting together into a displeased frown.

The redhead eventually felt bad for leaving ‘her friend’ behind and said her goodbyes, making her way back over to the man who still looked lost and angered.

As you sipped on the neon green liquid in the glass you held, you turned your attention back to The Master. She was already looking at you, a brow raised as she waited for you to say something.

“That was painful.”

“I know,” she moved a strand of hair away from your face and behind your ear. “But I had to send a message. No one hurts my girl.”

Your breath hitched in your throat, a surge of emotions yet again came crashing down on you like a tsunami. Tears brimmed your eyes once more and had The Master not pulled you in for a loving kiss, your bottom lip would’ve begun to wobble.

“My good girl.” She kissed you over and over again, placing her drink on the bar so that she could wrap her arms around your waist and pull you onto her lap, making you straddle her on the bar stool that miraculously took your combined weight without a problem.

You continued to make out in front of everyone, your arms around her neck and her hands grabbing at your body in a desperate need to feel more of you. It wasn’t long before you unconsciously began to wiggle in her lap, grinding down on her thighs in search of a little friction.

“Take me home.”

The Master smiled against your lips, opening her eyes to search yours for confirmation that you actually meant what you said.

But of course you did. You wanted nothing more than to be in the comfort of your own home in the TARDIS and to spend the rest of the night in a blissfully heightened state with your lover on your anniversary.

——

“Bath?”

Stepping into the TARDIS, you shrugged off The Master’s jacket that she had placed over your shoulders to keep away the chill on the short walk from the club to the timeship that she had disguised as a house not even a few minutes away, insisting that it was too cold for you not to wear it because humans feel temperature differently to timelords and you’d freeze to death if you didn’t.

You hummed happily at the thought of soaking yourself in hot soapy water. “I’d love that.”

You both made your way to the bathroom and you began to strip down as The Master ran the water into the tub, joining you in removing her clothes once she had added the bubbles to the running water.

She reached out for you and held you in her arms, both of you naked and falling into a quiet moment where no words had to be spoken to know what each other were thinking and feeling.

Once the bathtub had filled up with enough water, you both slipped in, moaning in unison at the muscle relaxing temperature. You spent a while washing each other and unwinding in each other’s embrace, The Master’s hand slowly rubbing circles between your legs until you shook and came undone for the first time that night.

When the water began to turn cold, you stepped out and dried off, carefully rubbing each other down with soft fluffy towels until you were dry enough to make your way to the bedroom without creating a trail of water droplets behind you, the air drying you off completely by the time you got there.

You laid on the bed patiently, ready and waiting for The Master to join you.

She pulled a pretty patterned tie from the drawer and smiled at you when she came to meet you at the bed, your submissiveness never failing to bring her happiness.

She leaned down to kiss you softly, crawling on top of you in the process. “Arms up, love.”

You obeyed without question, lifting your arms above your head.The Master tied them up, looping the tie between the bars of the bed frame so that you couldn’t bring your arms back down.

“Is this okay?” She brought her kisses down to your neck, wet and warm, and torturously slow.

You moaned out a yes, your stomach twitching at her touch that was moving lower, your toes curling in anticipation.

She kissed down your body, making sure to hit all the sensitive spots that only she knew about, her hands skimming down the curves of your waist towards your legs.

She lifted a leg and rested it on her shoulder as she brought her head between them. She kissed lazily down from the inside of your knee to where you desperately needed her between your thighs, your hips raising on their own accord.

“I’m sorry tonight didn’t go as planned, but I’m going to make it up to you, darling.” The Master used a finger to slide into your wet heat, her tongue quickly following, earning a strangled moan in response. “I promise.”

It was rare for The Master to apologise for anything even for something that was her own fault, so for her to apologise for something out of her control was new territory for the both of you.

You wanted to tell her not to be so silly, not to apologise for something that wasn’t her fault, but whimpers and gasps filled your throat, not allowing any words to be spoken.

You also wanted to hold onto her, your hand tangled in her hair, keeping her where she was and encouraging her to keep going, but with your hands tied to the bed, the best you could do was tug desperately on the fabric restricting them and pray that it will eventually break and set your arms free.

The white hot coil in the pit of your stomach began to wind up tighter and tighter, and you knew that with The Master’s mouth working you so expertly to the edge, it wouldn’t be long at all before you fell apart.

And you were right, crying out at the blinding pleasure, setting a new record for yourself at how fast you had tipped over the edge.

The Master sat up and reached over to untie your hands, slipping the tie from between the bars and allowing your arms to flop down either side of you.

“Can you keep going?”

You nodded breathlessly, your eyes falling closed in an attempt to concentrate on bringing your breathing back to a normal rhythm.

“Keep your eyes closed.” The soft tie was placed over your eyes and tied behind your head after she had encouraged you to lift it up for a moment. “Good girl. Now tell if it gets too much and I’ll stop, alright?”

“Alright.” Your voice came as a whisper, raw and forced.

The sound of sparking hit your ears and your head turned in its direction, unable to make out what it was just by the sound of it.

The Master laughed softly, her arm smoothing over your arm reassuringly after seeing your reaction. “Relax, I just lit a candle.”

You took a deep breath and allowed your body to fall limp into the mattress beneath you, revelling in the feeling of The Master’s slow kisses that she was now placing along your stomach.

“Another deep breath, love.”

You drew in another and as soon as your lungs were filled with air, a sharp searing heat hit your sternum, right where The Master had placed a kiss seconds before.

You released the breath quickly with a whimper, your mouth agape in shock. “What was that?”

“Wax.” The Master spoke nonchalantly. “Want me to stop?”

You thought it over for a moment. Did you want her to stop? This was certainly new and sure you’d spoken about it previously, but you hadn’t been expecting it and no, you decided, you didn’t want her to stop.

This was akin to spanking, pain at first that fizzled into pleasure. The heat of the melted wax that was poured onto your skin lasted mere seconds before cooling into something warm and tingly, setting your nerves on edge and bringing a heightened sense of gratification.

“No, keep going.”

You knew that she was smiling, pleased with your willingness to experiment and the trust you had in her to keep going and not bring you any unnecessary pain.

And keep going she did, dripping hot wax across your body, watching how you reacted to the heat in more sensitive areas compared to the more desensitised parts of your body that saw the light of day more often.

Each time the wax settled onto your skin, it hurt less and less, stinging pleasantly and morphing into a heavenly warmth. The Master kept up the practice of kissing right where she planned to pour, giving you a heads up every time, something you were grateful for.

With your sense of sight taken away from you, your other senses intensified, making each touch, each whisper of encouragement all the more rewarding.

The Master eventually stopped despite your moans and begging for more, supposedly because the candle had burned down and run out of wax, but she continued to show you attention in other ways.

She remained close, her hands roaming your body lovingly, worshipping you with her kisses and her words. She allowed you to rut against her thigh, leaving a wet spot on her skin as she sucked on your neck below your ear, your arms encircled her shoulders and keeping her in place so that you didn’t lose your rhythm against her if she moved.

“So good for me, darling,” her whispered words in your ear felt like a song from an angel, supporting you on your journey to otherworldly bliss. “My good girl.”

After a little while longer and a few more orgasms, you were completely spent, your body aching deliciously, your eyes feeling heavy after a long evening.

The Master held you close as you drifted off to sleep, tracing sloppy figures of eight onto your exposed back and breathing in the subtle scent of lavender from the soap she had washed you with.

Taglist: @queerconfusionthings @another-doctor-who-blog @crazylittlereader2474

[mostlycompetentwriter]

Awaken

F/M Pairing: Y/N x Hwang Hyunjin (some mentions of Y/N x Seo Changbin)

Word Count: 7.5K

Warnings: Explicit smut and language, use of vibrators, Hyunjin is kinda obsessed in this one

Genre: College AU; Professor AU

Summary: When Y/N transferred into a prestigious all-girls university, she never expected to be on the receiving end of a very handsome professor’s near-constant attention.

It had been a difficult decision - transferring from my previous school into one of the most Elite universities in the world. I understand that it might seem contradictory, but there were several uncertainties that impeded my ability to make a decision. The first being an existential dread surrounding the idea of leaving behind my best friends, including my off-and-on again boyfriend, Changbin. The second reason involved my new university’s strict mandate that it would only accept female applicants.

Yes, the school only admitted women, and as someone who maintained a diligent sex life with previous boyfriends, I was not excited by the prospect of being forced into celibacy.

But the pressure from my parents and close academic advisors eventually forced my hand, and I found myself dragging most of my belongings out of my dorm room with a few friends helping me along. “What the hell is in this suitcase, Y/N?” Jisung asked, grunting with the effort of dragging my bag along the sidewalk.

“Probably just clothes,” I said, shrugging because I was trying to remain perfectly nonchalant about my transfer, even though I was having a total meltdown on the inside.

“I think that’s all of it,” Changbin said, and he was giving me that same somber look that I was starting to hate - the one that told me he wasn’t very happy about my transfer. “You know,” he continued, bracing himself against the side of my car. “If you ever need me, I’m only a phone call away.”

“Quit trying to get your dick wet, Changbin, and grab something!” Chan snapped. “Or, are those arms just for show?”

Changbin rolled his eyes, but he leaned down to grab my laundry basket before bringing it to the trunk. “Are you gonna miss us, Y/N?” Jisung asked. 

“Not as much as you’ll miss me,” I said. “Who else will edit your essays, Han?”

Jisung frowned as if he was actually thinking deeply about my question. “Maybe I could just email them-”

“Jisung,” Chan interrupted, knocking against his shoulder with an affectionate smile. “There’s still one more box inside.”

“I’m on it!” Jisung shouted, and I grinned at the sight of the younger boy pumping his arms as he jogged back up the staircase.

“He doesn’t really get the severity of the situation,” Chan said, leaning next to me to against my car.

“It’s okay,” I said, looking down at my shoes. “I’ll miss all of you.”

“Y/N,” Chan said, “I thought we weren’t gonna cry until after you left.”

I sniffled around the rising urge to do exactly that before tossing my arms around his neck for a long embrace. “You’ll come see me, right?”

“Of course,” Chan agreed, pulling back to meet my gaze. “Ya! Don’t cry over this, Y/N. It’s supposed to be your big opportunity.”

“Yeah,” I murmured, but it didn’t really feel like it anymore, and when my eyes connected with Changbin’s, I couldn’t help but feel a terrible weight pressing down on my chest.

Maybe this was the worst idea ever, but I was already enrolled for the upcoming academic semester. I would do my best, of course, but I desperately hoped that my parents might reconsider another transfer. Because these were my friends  (and my sometimes boyfriend), and I belonged with them.

“Don’t think too much about it,” Chan instructed me firmly. “Call us if you ever want to hangout.”

“I will,” I promised him, and he brushed a friendly kiss across my forehead. It was the ultimate sign that I had truly signed my life away on the enrollment papers for the school in the next town. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad once I made new friends, but at this moment, everything hurt and I was doing my best to hold myself together as I drove away with my old life waving goodbye from the rear-view mirror.

Upon the start of the Spring semester, I was officially moved into my new dorm room which I was sharing with an very enthusiastic young woman named Claire. Her optimism was unmatched, and she had spent most of the day dragging me around campus while pointing out anything that seemed remotely interesting. “You’ll love it here, Y/N!” she promised, and I feigned a smile mostly for her benefit.

“It seems nice,” I told her later on after we returned to our shared dorm room.

“Oh, yeah, the teachers are great!” she said. “What’s your schedule like?”

I shrugged with vacant dismissal, reaching into my bag to hand her the folded piece of paper I had received earlier that week. “You got in Mr. Hwang’s class!” Claire abruptly squealed. “You lucky bitch!”

“What’s the big deal?” I grumbled, snatching my schedule back out of her hands.

“The big deal!” Claire shrieked like I had just committed an unforgivable crime. “He’s only the hottest teacher on campus!”

I rolled my eyes because I should’ve anticipated something superficial. But I was beginning to understand that most of these poor girls were thirsty for anything remotely attractive, and I had even witnessed one girl lusting over a much-older professor just because he still had all of his hair. It was everything I feared about an all-girls institution, and I was beginning to experience the same mania as the rest of them.

But my thoughts usually went to Changbin, and there was no way I would ever fantasize about one of my teachers. “How old is he?” I asked.

“He’s only 27!” Claire giggled. “I’m not kidding, Y/N, it looks like he was literally sculpted by the gods!”

“That’s original,” I muttered. “Well, I hope he’s good at poetry.”

“Oh, he’s the best,” Claire assured me, but I didn’t think I could take her word for it because she was certainly biased when it concerned his looks. “He’s been published all around the world!”

“He must be decent,” I said because the school’s academic reputation wouldn’t allow anything less than acceptable.

“My friend had a class with him last semester,” Claire continued, and I regretted not changing the topic earlier. “Apparently, she could hardly concentrate on the lesson because she couldn’t stop staring at his ass.”

“Your friend sounds dedicated.”

“There’s also a rumor going around campus that he only got his position because he seduced our admissions advisor!”

I snorted at the idea. “I doubt I’ll be that interested in him.”

“Whatever you say, Y/N,” Claire sing-songed. “You’ll change your mind when you see him.”

“I highly doubt it,” I muttered, and I glanced over at the side table where my phone was waiting. “I’ll be back,” I said, and I left the dorm room and found myself in an isolated study room which I ensured was locked before dialing Changbin’s number.

Then, I settled down against the couch and closed my eyes, shoving my hand underneath the waistband of my sleeping shorts to gently graze my fingers against my clitoris. 

Graciously, Changbin picked up after the fourth ring: “Y/N?” he said. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” I said. “I just wanted to hear your voice.”

Changbin chuckled, and the static from the phone made it sound far more guttural. I bit my lower lip as I dipped one finger inside my tight heat. “How’s your new roommate?” he asked. “Chan told me that she was unbearable.”

“She’s chatty,” I said, taking a deep breath before asking him: “Changbin, I miss you.”

He was silent from the other end, and I could only pray that Changbin had read the situation correctly, especially when I offered a quiet moan into the receiver. “Are you touching yourself, Y/N?” he asked, and I nodded even though he couldn’t see me.

“I wish you were here,” I told him, and I smiled at the familiar sound of Changbin’s zipper as he tugged his pants down those thick thighs that I loved. 

“I’m here, babe,” he said, and there was a slight desperation to his tone. “What are you thinking about?”

“You,” I said, hissing around a stuttered exhale when I grazed a sensitive spot. “I’m thinking about your cock, Changbin.”

He moaned from the other end, and the slick sound of Changbin lubing up his erection was particularly raunchy. “I want you here with me, Y/N,” Changbin said, and I could easily imagine him jerking off his cock from behind my eyelids. “I’d have you on your hands and knees, fingering that little pussy of yours.”

I gasped at his words, arching my back against the couch as I shoved my fingers even further inside. Changbin had an uncanny gift for dirty talk that I attributed in large part to his irresistible baritone voice. “Tell me more,” I begged him.

“Are you wet?”

“Yeah.”

“Good,” Changbin growled. “I could just slide right in.”

“Oh, fuck,” I cursed, and I imagined everything as he continued to describe it to me - moving my fingers even faster at the phantom sensation of his cock filling me up so well like he always did whenever we had sex together. “I want to come so bad for you.”

“Then do it,” Changbin said, grunting from his end as he undoubtedly brought himself to completion.

And I eventually came with a loud moan - shameless despite the thin walls of the surrounding dorms. But I was on cloud nine, savoring the necessary heat of my well-deserved orgasm. “Call me tomorrow,” Changbin said after a while, and I had almost forgotten that we were still talking.

“Yeah,” I panted around a sigh. “I will.”

The bell-tower struck noon when I entered Hwang Hyunjin’s poetry class for the very first time. I had already anticipated a large class, but I was still surprised by the sheer number of students who were crowding the front rows of the classroom. I rolled my eyes because I was forced to sit at the back, and it certainly did no favors for my poor vision.

Regardless, I was also frustrated because there was a small part of myself which remained curious about this mysterious teacher. I could tell that all the other students were practically gushing with excitement, but I schooled my expression and slumped down in my seat as I pulled out a fresh notebook. What the hell were they expecting? A striptease in the middle of our lecture?

However, the most frustrating part of all was the grand entrance of the elusive teacher who had enraptured most of the population. And I couldn’t be any less impressed with him as I rolled my eyes over his tall, lean form. Yeah, he was pretty to look at, but he certainly wasn’t my type. I sighed as my mind instantly reminded me of an image of Changbin; specifically, a sweaty Changbin who had just finished up in the gym - wearing nothing around his waist except for a towel.

“Good morning, everyone,” Mr Hwang finally spoke, and there was a deeper aspect to his voice that I wasn’t expecting. “My name is Mr. Hwang, and this is our poetry 278 lecture.”

There was a collective sigh over his words, and I held back my laughter at the pathetic way everyone was swooning over him. “Let’s start with introductions,” Mr. Hwang suggested, and I groaned because I loathed ice-breakers. “When I call your name, you can give me your year and intended major.”

God, was this Elementary school?

Nevertheless, I waited for my turn, listening as the other students went above and beyond the call of duty to provide Mr. Hwang with as much unnecessary additional information as they could. “I study political science,” one girl said. “I was the leader of my high school’s debate club, and I won an award at the state convention.”

“Impressive,” Mr. Hwang said, and I briefly entertained the idea of the girl fainting on the spot. “Y/N?”

I glanced up to meet Mr. Hwang’s gaze. “Third year,” I replied. “I just transferred, and I’m studying English.”

“Oh, really?” Mr. Hwang inquired. “Do you have any interest in writing an honor’s thesis?”

I blinked twice at the question because he hadn’t bothered to push anyone else for something more. “I’d like to in the future,” I told him, and I squirmed around uncomfortably in my chair when his gaze lingered for several beats too long.

Thankfully, he quietly moved on, and I was able to relax in my seat once again. The lecture proceeded from there, and I sighed when I realized that we would be talking about Emily Dickinson who I had already studied numerous times in my other classes. But I guess that left me the rare opportunity to doodle nonsensical images on my notebook while thinking about my friends, wondering what Jisung, Chan, and Changbin might be doing at that moment.

In another universe, we could be sharing this class together, and I felt a pang of homesickness for my previous school as I listened to Mr. Hwang’s voice at the back of my head. But after another hour, our class concluded and I breathed a sigh of relief as I packed up my belongings. I wasn’t able to finish my picture of Munchlax, but maybe I could work out the details later on. In the meantime, I hoisted my bag over my shoulder as I tried to fight my way around the crowd of students who were all waiting around Mr. Hwang’s desk.

And I was almost at the exit when his voice suddenly stopped me. “Y/N,” Hyunjin said, and I paused mid-step because I wasn’t expecting to hear him call my name. “Can you stay behind for a moment?”

“Sure,” I said, even as I bristled at the thought of having to wait for those other girls to leave first.

They all insisted that they had so many questions to ask Mr. Hwang, and I was left to stew in the corner while crossing my arms over my chest. I had another class in half an hour, and I couldn’t afford to stand around all day while I waited at the behest of a teacher who had somehow won the affections of every student in this stupid school simply by being the prettiest in the room.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Mr. Hwang said with a bright smile to the last girl who scampered out of the room with a breathless giggle.

Finally, it was just me and Mr. Hwang, and I hesitantly walked over to his desk. “You needed to see me?”

“Yes,” Mr. Hwang said as he looked up at me from his grade-book. “Is there something wrong with the way I teach?” Mr. Hwang asked, and I was surprised to see him pouting at me with his lower lip sticking out.

“Uh, I don’t know what you mean, Mr. Hwang,” I said, adjusting the strap of my bag.

“Well, it didn’t seem like you were too invested in my lecture,” Hyunjin explained.

Oh, great, he caught me daydreaming about Changbin. 

“I’m sorry, sir,” I said, searching for an excuse. “I’ve been having a hard time adjusting.”

“Ah, that’s right!” Mr. Hwang nodded. “You transferred here for the new semester.”

“Yeah,” I agreed, and I chanced a step back towards the doorway. “I’ll do better in the future.”

“Well, hold on for just a minute, Y/N,” Mr. Hwang said. “I’m here to help my students when they’re struggling.”

“It’s not really a struggle,” I said, but I held my tongue when he pulled out a piece of paper and scribbled something at the top.

“Here,” he said, holding out the paper for me to take. “It’s my personal phone number,” Mr. Hwang added with a wink. 

Personal number? “Oh, thank you, sir,” I offered in return because I wasn’t sure what the appropriate response might be in that situation.

“Call me anytime,” Mr. Hwang insisted, and I couldn’t help but notice the mischievous gleam in his gaze like we were playing some kind of game and I was the one who was losing. “I’ll see you on Thursday.”

One Week Later

Despite my new school’s formidable reputation, I was doing exceedingly well in all of my classes. Most of my instructors were greatly impressed, and a few English teachers had already brought up the prospect of mentoring me for the honor’s thesis. Yet, there was one class that I couldn’t quite get a handle on, and I was shocked to see another giant C- written across the top of my latest essay. 

I swallowed hard when Mr. Hwang returned to the front of the room to conclude his lecture. What the hell was I doing wrong? I had even sent this paper to a former TA at my previous school who offered to look at it before I submitted the damn thing.

But instead of feeling disappointed about my failure, I sensed a rising anger directed at the man standing in front of the room. Everyone else around me celebrated their A’s while I was left with a nasty letter grade that would hardly reflect well on my GPA. What could the rest of my classmates be doing differently?

“That’s it for today!” Mr. Hwang announced. “We’ll pick up on this again next time!”

I frowned as I stuffed the essay at the bottom of my bag. It still wasn’t too late to switch out of this stupid class, and then I could finally re-orient my focus. “Y/N!” Mr. Hwang called out when I passed by his desk. “Can I have a moment of your time, dear?”

Dear?! “Sure,” I grumbled, once again waiting for the masses of Mr. Hwang’s admirers to leave the room before I confronted my teacher.

“Well,” Mr. Hwang began with an exaggerated sigh. “What will we do about these poor grades of yours?”

I bristled at the comment because it sounded strangely hostile - perhaps even threatening. “Don’t worry, sir,” I said. “I’m transferring out your class. You don’t have to concern yourself with me.”

I turned my back on Mr. Hwang as I started for the exit. “Don’t be silly, Y/N,” Mr. Hwang said. “I’ve spoken to your other teachers, and they tell me that this a requirement for your major. And I’m the only person who teaches the subject.”

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” I hissed under my breath, but I did my best to retain a neutral expression as I returned to his desk. “What’s the problem, sir?” I asked. “I had the last essay peer-checked by a former instructor.”

“Our grading standards are much higher, Y/N,” Mr. Hwang informed me haughtily. “I think the real issue is your attitude.”

“My attitude?” I repeated - completely dumbfounded by the accusation.

“You don’t really show any engagement with the material,” Mr. Hwang elaborated. “You always come to class, but I can tell that your attention is elsewhere. And you don’t even bother to come to my office hours to talk about the topics we cover.”

“I didn’t realize, sir,” I said, and I was shocked that he considered me disinterested in my studies.

“It’s okay to ask for help, Y/N,” Mr. Hwang explained. “You’re the only student who never stays behind to talk to me.”

Because I have better things to compliment your face! “I have another lecture after this one,” I offered as a response.

“Then it seems to me like I should make an effort to meet you outside of designated hours,” Mr. Hwang said. “I have an apartment off-campus. Maybe you can come over this weekend?”

For a moment, I was completely stunned by his proposal. “I don’t think that’s appropriate, Mr. Hwang,” I said, taking a step back away from him.

“Why not?” Mr. Hwang asked. “It’ll just be me and you.”

“Uh, I don’t know...”

“Oh, Y/N, I have to insist,” Mr. Hwang said, and I watched him open his grade-book. “You won’t even muster a C in this class if you keep going at this rate.”

It seemed preposterous that I could make straight A’s in every other class but still fail this one at the same time. “I’ll think about it,” I said while doing my best to ignore his pleased smile.

It was late that night when my phone lit up with an incoming notification. I groaned in response because I wasn’t expecting anything from the boys, but then again, maybe Changbin needed fresh jerk-off material, and I could always send him a picture of my tits. But I was surprised to realize that I was wrong on all accounts, and my heart started beating faster when I read the message:

From Unknown:

Y/N, it’s Hyunjin from your poetry class.

Hyunjin? Oh, right, that was Mr. Hwang’s first name.

To Unknown:

Me: How did you get this number?

From Unknown:

H: The student profiles.

“It’s still an invasion of my privacy,” I grumbled.

H: We can be very casual with one another outside of class. Wouldn’t you agree?

I narrowed my eyes at the informal suggestion. 

To Unknown:

Me: If that’s okay with you, sir.

I waited for several moments, but it seemed like Mr. Hwang was finally done texting me. I shrugged at the unusual conversation, but before I could place my phone back on my nightstand, it vibrated with another incoming message. This one had a picture attached....

“Holy shit!” I gasped, dropping my phone onto the bed as my heart started to thud violently inside my chest.

From Unknown:

H: Do you like it, princess?

“Is he crazy?” I decried, and my hands were trembling when I brought my phone screen closer. Because the attachment contained a very obscene picture of a dick, and I didn’t need more than two guesses to assume that it was Mr. Hwang’s. 

My fingers were shaking as I stared at the image - zooming in closer to observe the delicate bead of precum glistening at the tip. There was also a hand wrapped around the base, and even though I didn’t have much experience with sex, I could still acknowledge that it was a very nice cock. But did I really just get a dick pic from my poetry teacher?

To Unknown:

Me: I’m not sure what you expect me to say.

I sent the message before attempting to fan my flushed skin - feeling overheated because this was not what I had been expecting when Mr. Hwang sent me the first message.

From Unknown:

H: It’s alright, princess. I’m not much for talking either. Why don’t you come over this weekend so you can show me your reaction instead?

Oh, god, I was definitely teetering on the precipice of very dangerous ground. I’m talking the same kind of inappropriate that could get him fired and me expelled. What the hell was he even thinking? Was Mr. Hwang trying to hit on me?!!

I shook my head because it was suddenly very difficult to concentrate, but I was also feeling the vestiges of panic creeping around the edges of my vision. My hands could barely hold the screen long enough for me to type out a quick response:

To Unknown:

Me: Maybe some other time.

The next morning, I was still shaken from my unexpected text conversation with Mr. Hwang. For most of the night, I simply stared at the ceiling while my phone continued to vibrate with incoming messages. Eventually, I was forced to mute his number, and I still couldn’t fall asleep.

I was barely functional the next morning, but I was also strangely horny, which is why I didn’t hesitate to encourage Changbin when he sent me a message asking if he could come visit. I waited and chose a time when my roommate would be gone - sighing in relief when I heard him knocking on the door. I threw it open quickly, and he was clearly caught off-guard by my eagerness. “I’m so glad to see you,” I said, and I didn’t hesitate to lock my lips with his, kissing Changbin with all the nervous energy that I had tried to keep to myself all weekend. 

“Wow,” Changbin managed when we both pulled apart for air. “The no dick policy at this shithole has fucked you up.”

“Yeah? I need you to fuck me, Changbin,” I said, and he must’ve saw something in my eyes that changed his mind. 

He pushed us both into my room, turning around to lock the door before reaching down for the hem of his t-shirt. “Bend over for me, baby,” he said, and his voice was husky as I took off my clothes and braced myself against the desk.

“I really need this,” I told him from over my shoulder - shameless as I explored every inch of his toned form.

“I got you, baby,” Changbin said, and he moved behind me to spread my legs, taking a few moments to finger me with his long digits, stretching out my opening while stimulating my clitoris with his thumb. “You definitely need to be fucked,” Changbin remarked. “Your pussy is so tight.”

“Please,” I whispered, and Changbin was quick to replace his fingers with the same cock that I often drooled over when I masturbated late at night. He set an urgent pace from the start, grabbing my hips between his hands to hold me in place as he filled me with his cock over and over again. “Changbin,” I whined, burying my face in my forearms and trying to ignore the pain in my stomach from where he knocked me into the wood on every thrust. 

It wasn’t equivocal to one of our more passionate rounds of lovemaking, but it was everything that I needed. Enough to wipe all consideration of Hwang Hyunjin clear out of my head as I enjoyed the delightful friction of Changbin’s cock rolling against the constricting walls of my cunt. “It feels so good,” I whispered, and I closed my eyes in pleasure.

“Tell me when you’re close,” Changbin said. “I wouldn’t want your roommate to come back.”

However, the inherent risk of being caught by my roommate was also a factor in my rapid ascent to orgasm. “Coming!” I shouted while feeling myself unravel around his cock as he rammed himself inside. 

Thereafter, I settled on top of my bed while Changbin tied off his condom and tossed it into the trash. I smiled when he crawled in next to me, reaching for his jeans hanging from the edge and pulling out a package of cigarettes. “Open the window,” I instructed him. “I can’t have you polluting my room.”

Changbin chuckled, but obeyed nonetheless. He also drug the ashtray on the windowsill closer before lighting the cigarette and bringing it to his swollen lips for a long inhale. “I really missed you, Y/N,” Changbin said, taking another drag from his cigarette before placing it in the ash tray next to the open window. 

“I missed you too,” I told him, closing my eyes for a moment as I relaxed against the pillows - savoring the warmth of Changbin from next to me.

“I had a nice time with you,” Changbin added. “Maybe we could...try dating again?”

I froze at the words I had been dreading to hear. You see, Changbin and I had been dating off-and-on for many years at this point, and we both knew that we didn’t work well as a couple. Yet, that never stopped him from encouraging us to try again, and as much as I loved the sex, I couldn’t tolerate the complicated feelings involved.

“I don’t think so, Changbin,” I said, wincing when I heard him sigh. “You know that never ends well for us.”

“Yeah,” Changbin agreed, although it hurt my heart to see him look so sad. “I can’t help it, Y/N.”

“We can still keep doing this,” I said, reaching over to place a tender kiss on his bicep. 

“Maybe,” Changbin agreed, but something in his tone told me that this might be the last time I ever enjoyed Changbin’s company in bed.

“Could I at least show you around campus?” I asked him. “I’ll even treat you to lunch?”

Thankfully, Changbin managed a smile at my offer. 

By the time Changbin had left campus, I was feeling strangely alone when I settled at a cafe in the student union to work on some homework. I couldn’t help but feel like I had disappointed Changbin, and I prayed to anyone who was listening that we might still be friends. Because we had been close well before the sexting and late-night phone conversations that always ended up with an orgasm or two.

Changbin was the epitome of the type of guy I usually lusted after: strong, handsome, and intimidating. But we always argued too much whenever we tried the whole couple thing, and that was enough to ruin any preconceived notions I held about a relationship with the object of my most intimate fantasies. “You always manage to ruin everything, Y/N,” I muttered to myself, and it was suddenly way too difficult to focus on homework.

But I was still distracted enough that I almost failed to recognize the man who had just walked into the cafe...until he was standing right next to my table. “I always enjoy seeing my students outside of our lectures,” Mr. Hwang said with a smirk. “Do you mind if I join you?”

It took me a while to respond to his simple inquiry because my mind instantly returned to the picture of his cock that still sat in my messages. “Sure,” I eventually mustered, willing my stomach to settle down while ignoring the harsh smell of his cologne. 

“Is that my assignment you’re working on?” Mr. Hwang inquired as he took another sip of his coffee.

Is he just going to pretend like everything is okay? “Yeah,” I said, sliding my laptop screen closer. “For the author essay.”

“Do you mind if I take a look?” Mr. Hwang asked, and I shivered at the dark look in his gaze.

“I guess so,” I said, and I passed off my computer screen, observing the way he read over the words before sighing.

“You just don’t seem to understand, Y/N,” Mr. Hwang said, and I could feel myself almost snapping.

“What don’t I understand, Mr. Hwang?” I asked with barely constrained frustration.

“Oh, please call me Hyunjin,” he replied. “Mr. Hwang makes me sound so old.”

“Fine,” I huffed. “But the essay?”

“It lacks passion,” Mr. Hwang explained. “Your writing is decent, but it’s very by the books, you know? I’m looking for my students to play around with their words and have fun! We read enough academia as it stands.”

“Passion?” I repeated. “And how do you suggest that I learn passion?”

Mr. Hwang smiled, and I felt like I had just walked right into a trap. “You’re a very young and attractive woman, Y/N,” he said. “Have you ever been in a relationship before?”

“Several,” I said, keeping my responses short and vague on purpose. Because i couldn’t figure out where he was going with this strange conversation.

“Several?” Mr. Hwang repeated. “Well, that’s a shame then.”

“What do you mean?”

“The sex must be very boring,” Mr. Hwang said. “If you’re still writing this way.”

I didn’t even bother trying to stop my mouth from falling open. “I really don’t think it’s any of your business!”

“I have to make it my business when your grades are this atrocious,” Mr. Hwang insisted, and his eyes rolled over my form. “I find myself quite attracted to you, Y/N. Perhaps I can help solve this little dilemma of yours.”

Fuck it! I thought to myself as I leaned in closer - ready to risk it all because I wouldn’t tolerate his attitude for another moment! “To tell you the truth, Mr. Hwang,” I said, feeling triumphant when his eyes flashed in annoyance at my blatant dismissal of his earlier request. “You’re just not my type.”

“And what is your type?” Mr. Hwang snapped. “Certainly not that little jock you were walking around with on campus?”

“Changbin?” I said without really thinking, but then I found myself wondering how he even knew about that in the first place. “How did you know?”

“I saw the two of you,” Mr. Hwang said like it wasn’t a big deal. “I couldn’t help but notice, Y/N, and that poor boy was following you around like a lost puppy.”

“This is crossing a line,” I said, slamming my laptop closed. “I can see anyone I want.” 

“You’re not interested in doing better?” Mr. Hwang asked. “Trust me, Y/N. I was there once, and most college boys like him are only interested in sticking their dicks into something warm. I think you need someone mature who isn’t only interested in their own satisfaction.”

“Changbin’s sweet to me,” I insisted, and Mr. Hwang scoffed.

“I bet he is, especially if you’re always willing to spread your legs for him.”

“Like you could do any better!” 

“Wouldn’t you like to find out?”

I fell back into my seat as I slowly processed his words. “Sir, I-”

“You can’t possibly know if I’m your type, Y/N,” Mr. Hwang continued. “I think I deserve a fair chance to prove you wrong.”

I could scarcely believe how casual he was acting - like this wasn’t completely against thousands of school rules. It was entirely scandalous, and there were so many inherent risks if we were to ever get caught....but, yet, somewhere deep down inside of me, I felt the familiar heat of arousal.

“You’re thinking about it.” Mr. Hwang smiled. “Come over this Friday, Y/N, and I’ll show you what a real man looks like.”

I had never been this nervous before in my entire life, wiping my sweaty palms against my jeans as I walked up to Hyunjin’s apartment. There was a far more rational part of myself that was screaming at me to run in the opposite direction, but the incessant desire to knock on the door far outweighed the consequences. And my breath hitched in my throat when I saw him standing in the doorway dressed to the nines in tight skinny jeans and a white, button-up shirt while I looked like I had just woken up,

“There you are,” Hyunjin said with a sultry tone, and he reached for my hand to pull me inside. “Sit down for a moment,” he encouraged me, smirking at the look on my face as I took in his lavishly decorated apartment. Still, I managed to obey him as I sat down on the leather futon in the center of the room.

“Your apartment is nice,” I commented, and I held my breath when Hyunjin sat down next to me - stretching out his long legs while he studied me with an impenetrable gaze.

“I have a few rules tonight, Y/N,” he said, and I forced myself to nod. “Are you aware of the color-light system?”

“Color-light system?” I repeated.

“How adorable,” Hyunjin said with a mocking tone. “You’ve made it seem like you know your way around a cock, but you’re clearly more innocent than I assumed.”

My eyes widened at his filthy language. “Sir?”

“That’s a good start,” Hyunjin said. “You will refer to me as sir tonight, do you understand?”

“Yes, sir,” I said, and Hyunjin smiled at my easy compliance.

“As for the color system,” Hyunjin said. “I want to make sure that you’re comfortable, Y/N. Green means that you can handle whatever we’re doing, yellow means that I need to slow down, and red implies that we’ll stop completely. Is that clear?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good,” Hyunjin purred. “Would you feel more at ease in the bedroom?”

I offered him a timid nod, and Hyunjin held out his hand which I accepted - hoping that he wouldn’t notice the evidence of my nerves. But I was half-way expecting something truly horrible, which meant that I was also genuinely surprised to discover a normal bedroom - sparsely furnished with a king-sized bed with a beautiful silk comforter. “Why don’t you take your clothes off for me, princess?” Hyunjin asked, and I shivered at the familiar pet name. “Lay down on the bed, and I’ll grab a few things before we start.”

I waited until Hyunjin turned his back to me before undressing and leaving my clothes in a neat pile on a nearby chair. Then, I hesitantly lowered my body onto the mattress while resisting the urge to cover myself. Especially when Hyunjin returned with a bundle of interesting items, placing them aside while he looked me over from head to toe. “Oh, princess,” he said. “What a beautiful body.”

I could feel myself flushing at his words and Hyunjin laughed. “Where’s that feisty attitude from before, princess? Or was it all for show?”

“Mr. Hwang-”

“Sir,” he quickly corrected me, and I stiffened when he presented a bright red blindfold. “We’ll put this on first,” Hyunjin said, and he ordered me to sit up long enough for him to secure the tie in the back - taking away my sight and leaving me anxious for his next move. “This will make everything feel so much better,” he said, and I jumped when his fingers started to trail down the smooth skin of my stomach. “Oh, you must be very sensitive,” Hyunjin remarked, and I didn't quite know what to do with my hands when he parted the delicate folds of my pussy. “Y/N, are you already wet?” he asked, and I tried to hold back a moan when he inserted one finger, moving it around before leaving me feeling empty once again. 

“Let’s try this,” Hyunjin said, and I gasped when I heard the familiar sounds of a vibrator. “You’ve probably used this plenty of times,” Hyunjin continued. “When you had to finish yourself off after those little boys tried to please you.”

He started with my nipples - moving in small circles around the hardened peaks. It wasn’t anything overwhelming, and I enjoyed the pleasant sensation. However, the soothing action didn’t last for long, and I gripped the silken sheets between my fingers, spreading my legs wider on instinct when Hyunjin trailed the vibrations down to my sensitive pussy lips. “Oh, shit,” I said, nearly exploding when the vibrator made contact with my clitoris. Especially when he increased the power - turning the damn thing up to its highest setting as he held it there in the same spot.

I was gone before it had even started, convulsing around nothing as I came hard against the sheets. And I fully expected him to stop since he had gotten his way, but Hyunjin only surprised me when he continued to move the vibrator against my throbbing clit, refusing to relinquish the stimulating vibrations as everything started to burn with the threat of yet another orgasm slowly building.

“Fuck, you’re leaking everywhere,” Hyunjin said, but there was only awe in his tone, and I could practically feel the weight of his gaze. “Such a good girl,” Hyunjin added, and he started moving the vibrator in faster circles while he refused to take it away from my poor, aching sex.

I moaned around my second orgasm - coming hard again, but there was also an undeniable sensitivity that had me trying to escape the cursed vibrator, but Hyunjin only used a firm grip on my hips to hold me in place.

“Please stop!” I cried.

“Color,” Hyunjin growled, and he continued to press down even harder.

“Y-yellow,” I stuttered, and the vibrations slowed down to a more acceptable level as Hyunjin circled the head around my clit.

“I want one more from you, Y/N,” he said. “Then, I think you might be ready for my cock.”

I almost fell apart at his words, and I found myself unable to deny that everything was so good with him. There was also a strange and foreign part of me that desperately wanted to please him, and I started rolling my hips in time with his circles, chasing another high as I nearly screamed from the intensity. “Look at you,” Hyunjin sneered when he turned off the vibrator, and I could feel the bed dip beneath his weight. He snatched away my blindfold, and I blinked rapidly at the returning light before focusing on the obscene image of Hyunjin jerking himself off in front of me. “You have to be honest with me, princess,” he growled. “Is my cock better than his?”

“S-sir?” I questioned, having trouble focusing because of the thick haze surrounding my frazzled brain. 

“That little prick you were with,” Hyunjin said. “Is his cock better than mine?”

I was smart enough to know the right answer, and I shook my head from side to side. “Your cock is better, sir,” I said, and Hyunjin brightened with a grin. 

“It’s big, isn’t it?” Hyunjin asked, and he was shuffling over me with a sardonic grin. “Why don’t you touch it?”

I swallowed hard, but quickly acquiesced, wrapping my hand around his impressive girth before allowing myself to give him several strokes - making sure to give some attention to the head. “Oh,” Hyunjin moaned, looking down at me with sultry eyes. “That feels good, princess, but would you rather have my cock somewhere else?”

I whimpered at his words. “Yes, sir.”

“Tell me where,” Hyunjin demanded. “I want to know exactly what you want me to do, princess.”

“I want your cock in my pussy,” I said. “I need you to fuck me, sir.”

“Shit,” Hyunjin snarled, and he moved my legs apart to expose my cunt. “How can I possibly say no when you asked me so nicely?”

But I was a complete mess at this point - debauched and overcome with pleasure. Yet, when I felt the tip of Hyunjin’s cock penetrate my weeping sex, I could already feel myself growing excited all over again. He wasn’t gentle either - spearing me with one harsh plunge of his erection against the resisting walls of my pussy. 

“Oh, fuck,” Hyunjin said. “Are you sure you’re not a virgin, princess?”

There were tears in my eyes when I reached out for his shoulders, holding on for dear life as he started moving himself around inside of me. Pulling back to leave just the tip of his cock at my entrance, before thrusting forward with unrelenting strength. In spite of his skinnier stature, Hyunjin wasn’t to be underestimated. He knew exactly how to use his hips, and he continued to breach my constricting cunt with everything that he had. 

“You’re taking me so well, princess,” he said, forcing my legs even further apart, and finding a better angle to attack the delicate g-spot that rapidly sent me hurtling for my fourth orgasm of the night.

I was completely spent, barely holding on to consciousness while Hyunjin finally came with a hoarse cry of my name - dragging his cock in and out of my pussy as he milked himself for every last bit of cum. Then, he pulled himself out with a far more gentle touch, leaning down for the first time that night to connect our lips in a surprisingly warm kiss.

“Is that what you were expecting, Y/N?” he asked with a playful smile. “Am I still not your type?”

I shook my head because words were the last thing on my mind. But Hyunjin simply chuckled at my speechless state, and I watched him move around the room completely naked as he cleaned up the mess we had made. Meanwhile, I held up my hands to make sure that my vision had returned to normal.

Eventually, Hyunjin settled back down behind me, and I was somewhat surprised that he hadn’t kicked me out of his apartment. Even more so when he started to run his fingers down my waist. “I think you finally learned passion, Y/N,” he said, and I couldn’t help but agree with him.

“Can I start writing acceptable essays?” I asked him with a more confident tone.

“Of course,” he agreed. “But Y/N,” Hyunjin added, and I groaned when he cupped the heat between my legs. “You better call me Hyunjin from now on.”

“Yes, sir,” I said, grinning when I heard him growl in warning.

“You’re asking for it, aren’t you?”

I gave him a coy smile in return, watching as he rolled over top of me to spread my thighs again.

The next day in class, I smiled when I saw an A+ written at the top of my latest essay assignment. One that I had stayed up late to complete while sitting at Hyunjin’s desk with his cock buried inside my wet heat. Apparently, my first lesson was complete, but I couldn’t help but think that there was still a lot more left to learn.

“Everyone did well,” Hyunjin said as he paced at the front of the room. “I’ll see you all again soon.”

The dismissal was met with the beginnings of several conversations throughout the lecture room, and I simply organized my things before tossing my bag over my shoulder. Yet, on the way out the door, I couldn’t help but smile when I heard Hyunjin’s voice from behind me. “Y/N?” Hyunjin called out, and I could already feel the arousal gathering between my legs. “Why don’t you stay after class?”