#hi if y’all are reading this

[againstme]

idk man i’m just thinking about against me! and transness, especially cause we’re coming up on ten fucking years of transgender dysphoria blues, on the 21st.

lyrics have been swimming in my head lately.

“what god doesnt give to you, you’ve got to go and get for yourself.”

“if i could’ve chosen, i would’ve been born a woman. my mother once told me she would’ve named me laura. i’d grow up to be strong and beautiful like her.”

“you wouldn’t think something like gender identity would complicate something like asking for some company.”

“she spent the last few years of her life running from the boy she used to be.”

“standing naked in front of that hotel bathroom mirror, in her dysphoria’s reflection, she still saw her mother’s son.”

“agitated states of amazement, never quite the woman that she wanted to be.”

“you want them to see you like they see every other girl, they just see a faggot, they hold their breath not to catch the sick.”

“chipped nail polish and a barbed wire dress. is your mother proud of your eyelashes? silicone chest, and collagen lips. how would you even recognize me?”

“no more troubled sleep, there’s a brave new world that’s raging inside of me.”

“all my life, wishing i was one of them. there will always be a difference between me and you.”

“what’s the best end you can hope for? pity fucks and table scraps?”

“all the young graves filled, don’t the best all burn out so bright and so fast?”

“sometimes at night, i pray to wake a different person in a different place.”

“i don’t want to hang around the graveyard, waiting for something dead to come back. i know you think you’ve got one up on me, that you can see something i can’t.”

“i wanna be so real, you can see the difference.”

“dig up your bones, early graves are not homes.”

“come on, shape shift with me! what’ve you got to lose? fuck it!”

“confessing childhood secrets of dressing up in women’s clothes, compulsions you never knew the reasons to.”

“i’m sick of feeling like i’m losing my mind. sick of doing the same things most nights after night. sick of self loathing and self absorption, self destructive narcissism.”

some of these are directly referencing transness, some just alluding to it. some are just ones that i relate to as i’ve grown up struggling with my gender and sexuality and accepting my own transness and dealing with self harm and self destruction and relying too much on drugs.

finding myself buying baggies of coke and just stuffing them in my wallet while i walked downtown, feeling this immense guilt at the bottom of my stomach for essentially just wasting 25 dollars on a drug that wasn’t doing much for me besides making me feel like i was feeling something different than what my life was. getting scared shitless while in the line at the convenience store after picking up, seeing cops come into the store, and the small tied up bag filled with what was more baby powder than coke in my back pocket felt like the the heaviest and most obvious thing in the world.

and then i’d find myself on calls with my friends, with my camera turned off or pointing at the ceiling, suddenly muting my mic holding a cut up piece of a straw in my teeth as i crushed shit up with my library card from a city i wasn’t planning on living in again. just having them talk while i was racking baby lines, tilting my head back and rubbing it on my gums after. i was sniffling all the time. sometimes my nose would bleed when i would wake up. and i wasn’t even really feeling much; i didn’t know at the time that this would be because of having adhd and just basically spending money on overpriced shit that was just like taking an adderall, but it was a drug in front of me, that gave me the idea or the false hope of running away from my life during the short lived high.

“before you know it, here i am again, fucking 6 o’clock in the morning, rolled up dollar bill in my hand.”

“what the fuck are you cutting this with, anyway?”

“how low can you go before you can’t turn around?”

i don’t think that when i was 14 and getting into against me! that i would ever actually get to a point of fully relating to those lyrics. of running away from such a huge part of yourself or your problems, trying to fill the void with drugs that you’d plow through so quickly, faster than you thought you would every time.

the thing is, was that at this point, i had already started my transition. i was already “passing.” but i never got to the root of it. sure, i’m trans, but who am i? and i didn’t know how to answer that question. so i just pushed it away, pushed it under the rug.

“you can pray all night and day, but you’ll still wake up the same person in the same fucking place.”

against me! has been there for me for ten years. throughout so many transformations of myself, so much shape shifting, so much dysphoria, so many late nights wishing i was a different person in a different place.

i found solace in their lyrics. it gave me some small bit of hope, some realization that i didn’t know that i needed; that trans people always have been and always will be here, that being able to be trans and be alive is possible, and that i don’t have to be digging my own grave, spending late nights staring at the mirror and seeing the girl who i used to be.

against me! gave me the courage to be alive.

[crazy-fangirl2524]

My biggest flex will always be how I knew Neil was the more feral and dangerous one than Andrew this whole time even before tsc and seeing the entire fandom freaked out makes me want to kiss and hug Nora and just thank her for finally finally showing everyone and I’m not just crazy

[dudethatsmyundeaduncle]

Danny’s parents want to kill him and he’s like “f in the chat y’all dinner boutta be so awkward tonight smh”

Ok so I know everyone loves the angsty headcannons where Danny is terrified of his parents cuz they wanna kill him but we’ve had that hot take since 2005 I’m here for a source material revival, the much more entertaining “Danny’s parents want to kill him and he actively doesn’t give a fuck”

CUZ UH, IM REWATCHING THE FIRST SEASON AND I FORGOT HOW GENUINELY BLASÉ HE IS ABOUT MADDIE AND JACK TRYING TO GET HIS ASS ITS SO FUNNY.

Like mom holding a literal ghost gun to his head: eh kinda unphased he even has time to quip, his parents say they wanna tear em to pieces: meh see u guys at dinner, LIKE OUR GUY IS SO UNPHASED HE THINKS THIS SHIT IS FUNNY! (s1 ep. 14 public enemy)

And he’s unphased despite knowing his parents tech works and knowing that his mother is actually a good shot. So like I love angst Danny and y’all should keep up the good work but where is my s1 Danny ‘COULDN’T give less of a fuck about his parents’ Fenton representation?

Cuz think of this, for your DPXDC AU consideration, Danny would fit in so well with the bat gang if only because they could try to stab, shoot, capture, brainwash, and stalk him and he’d be like “oh cool villain of the week shit? Nice, what’re we having for lunch.” He. Wouldn’t. Flinch.

[not-with-you-but-of-you]

GILMORE GIRLS | 2.22 + 4.13 + AYITL “Summer”

Jess coming back to Stars Hollow, to Rory

Requested by @emmafallsinlove

[bishy437]

Send me a pairing + two emojis and i’ll draw them in those expressions

ex: 😒🤭 + Sangcheng =

[duckytree]

miguel clearly isn’t trying as hard to keep our universe together prolly cause he saw how twitter is treating him

[datshitrandom]

How was to be in a gay relationship (klaine) on screen?

“It was fucking awesome man. I mean the main thing here, like not because I’m trying to be blasé about the obvious thing in this question because we are saying that this is a gay relationship, nowadays, we just call it a relationship on tv, but to contextualize it, a gay relationship on mainstream Fox Network, that’s a pretty cool thing to be a part of. I often equate my relationship to that whole experience to Slumdog Millionaire which is, if you are familiar with Slumdog Millionaire is a kid that gets ask a bunch of questions and he just so happens to have the experience to answer this very specific things, now being cisgender straight kid you go 'oh oh what? are you going to allow this guy to talk gay shit?', I’ve been so culturally queer my whole life, not because I’m trying you know, actually, I was gonna say not because I’m trying to be cool but I’m gonna erase that, is because I am trying to be cool. All the sh— in my life that I have tried to emulate, learn from and be inspired by are one hundred percent queer as f—. It was in queer communities that I’ve found people that I idolize, that I want to be, to learn something from. And I’d say that’s a gross generalization, that’s a lot of things and a lot of people. But I grew up in San Francisco in the ’90s. I watched men die. There was an awareness of the gay experience that was not a foreign concept to me. So, it was a narrative that I cared deeply about. I wasn’t like a f— saint or like 'I’m the man for the job', they hired me and they said, 'You’re the guy,' and I said, 'Okay, I’m the guy I will do my best, I will do my best to talk about it in the way I believe and a way that I’m passionate about'. So in many ways I’m glad that it was me because it was a thing that I really like showing up for and it meant a great deal to me that it meant a great deal to other people. Because when people say they were affected by that show or that relationship, it’s not because of me, it’s because of that relationship on a TV and the risks that people took to put that on TV and most important of all it took the people watching it to have the "aptitude" for seeing beyond what was maybe given to them in other avenues of culture. People of all ages, all spectrums of awareness say, 'I didn’t grow up with a show like that and it was a really meaningful thing for me to see,’ and I go ‘I didn’t grow up with a show like that’ and that would’ve been very meaningful for me too, you know?, regardless of the fact that I’m a straight kid. That has value. For anyone who’s been an underdog, we all know, in any shape or form — sexual, religious, biological, whatever — it has value because there’s going to be a lot of people who see that and go, 'Okay, I can now understand this in a context that maybe I wasn’t able to before'. So short story long, what was it like? It was a fucking privilege and I love talking about it and I’m so grateful I got to do it." - Darren Criss at the Chicago Comic & Entertainment Expo Q&A | April 27th, 2024 

[ursie]

We as a people need to start being mean about fanon Dick again. Y’all fought the sunshine boy fanon..with more fanon like. No he’s not a girl failure, no he’s not a complete mess, no he’s not a bad brother, no he’s not a bad friend, no his friends don’t hate him, he’s not even actively an asshole. Yes the sunshine boy stuff wasn’t rooted in canon but taking a handful of incidents that were highly situational at best (and purposefully ooc in many cases) out of context isn’t any better. There is a middle ground here y’all 😭 and if y’all would actually read comics I bet y’all can find it 🙏🫡

[sassyandclassy94]

I’m Not Much of a Talker

Don Hume x Original Female Character

Part 1 of my “He’s Progressed and She’s Impressed” Series

Summary: Don has his first date ever. And I mean Ever. ✨E V E R✨

Word count: 7,162 (buckle up, buttercups! This was longer than I intended)

Rating: Teen and up

Author’s note: This story was inspired by one of the many headcanons @groovin2beats and I have been throwing back and forth - I hope you like it, and that it also has enough Bobby in it :)

Also tagged: @solo-pitstop-vibes

__________________________________________

Don was deep in thought while he walked to the general store. So much so that he didn’t hear Bobby yelling at him from across the street and the next thing he knew, Bobby was at his side, interrupting his racing mind with a nudge to his side.

“Going deaf on me now, Hume?”

All Don did was shake his head and continued walking.

“So where ya headed?” Bobby had to quicken his pace in order to keep up with Don’s long stride.

“The store.”

“What’re the chances? I’m headed there too!” Bobby noticed that Don was ignoring him. “You okay there, Don? You seem… quieter than normal.”

“I’m fine.” He wasn’t. Truth be told, his stomach was in knots and the knots were only getting tighter the closer he got to the store.

Bobby wasn’t convinced and, after prodding again, Don snapped at him. “We’re not in the boat, Moch; you don’t have to cox me.”

Bobby let his remark fly; Don was obviously worked up about something and was in a mood so for now, he’d let him be. Okay.

Full fic on AO3

[sinnbaddie]

Naruto has a multitude of characters where their writing is heavily based in queerness and queer experiences. From the devotion two characters have for one another to a point where they would trust each other with their lives, to feeling like the other one is the only person who truly to their core understands them and accepts them for who they are despite their flaws and issues they’ve done in the past.

Naruto as a series is so queer in its writing that the writer - whether intentional or not - made the main two characters always run after each other even if one of them fell into darkness, saying he’d shoulder the pain he’s holding just so he can be near him and you’re saying you think… Obito is gay?? The guy who literally lost his mind over a girl??

Edit: I’m talking about canon btw. Hc if you’d like I’ll always support that, but he’s not canonically gay or bi. His character is rooted in his love for a girl and the only reason he saved kk was to have time alone w Rin because he didn’t want him interfering. He’s in love w Rin and only Rin in canon🙇‍♂️

[crazy-fangirl2524]

I know many people in the fandom hates the EC and for some reason also Nora (when she gave us aftg like what’s wrong with y’all) but how many authors give us as much as Nora did?! Who gave us so so much extra content when she could have just left us with the three books. I love the EC with my entire heart and I understand if you don’t agree with some of it but hating it ?? And hating the author for it?? The EC is so under-appreciated and underrated.

[daenerys-targaryen]

thinking about how dany had less rights than her husband's horse yet some ppl still act like she had any sort of agency in the relationship

[newdejavuu]

I will probably write about this in more detail later. but while im on the subject of “pre-hiatus/early fob is better than post-hiatus fob” brain rot:

if you look at photos and gifs and videos of soul punk era patrick and think that was the happiest or healthiest that he has ever been. i want you to look in the mirror really closely and examine why. think about it really hard for me ok.

[gaycrittercentral]

I really liked the last sketch I posted so here’s the follow up: C O M P R E S S I O N

[bakergostudy]

"All My Friends Are Finding New Beliefs" by Christian Wiman // A tribute to the 2023 USWNT World Cup squad

Insp. by @greta--gill

[38sr]

me watching everyone thirst over my headcannon bruce wayne for my adventures with superman