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inawickedlittletown · 3 years

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Queerbaiting and Buddie

(word count: 1,900)

I keep saying that I don’t want to spend any more time on 9-1-1 meta or fic, but the events of this weekend made me open up a document where I had some unfinished meta and in light of the S4 finale airing tonight, I thought I might at least write this:

“Queerbaiting is a marketing technique for fiction and entertainment in which creators hint at, but then do not actually depict, same-sex romance or other LGBTQ representation. They do so to attract a queer or straight ally audience with the suggestion of relationships or characters that appeal to them, while at the same time attempting to avoid alienating other consumers.”

That is how Wikipedia defines queerbaiting. And I really feel like everyone needs to read that and then read it again and realize that what is happening on 9-1-1 with Buddie is NOT queerbaiting.

I don’t want to go into the long history of queerbaiting because we would be here all day and anyone that wants to do some research should go and do so. There are a lot of resources out there. Use them.

But the short of it is this: queerbaiting has a lot more to do with the way a show is promoted, with the way that anyone involved in the show talks about a queer ship, and with the show deliberately scripting scenes that hint at a relationship without any intention of following through. Expectations and wanting a queer ship to go canon and those expectations not being met do not alone equate to it being queerbaiting.

For any of us that have been around a long time there are a lot of perfect examples and if you compare Buddie to any of them, they are very different. I’ll name a few:

Merlin/Arthur

John Watson/Sherlock

Emma Swan/Regina

Derek/Stiles

Castiel/Dean Winchester (though they did go canon...barely)

Lena/Kara

Buck and Eddie do not fit into that list. Which isn’t to say that someday they could belong there, but I just do not believe that they will even if Buddie never becomes canon. And this all lies in how Buddie as a ship has been treated both on screen and off. I’ll break it down by season.

S2:

Eddie is very clearly introduced as a new character, a straight Army veteran with a disabled kid and family drama. He and Buck have immediate chemistry. We can’t deny that, or deny that from that first episode there are immediate sparks. Unintended sparks, but sparks nevertheless. And it is easy to tell that no one on the production team expected that and the story reflects that.

Yes a foundation for their friendship is formed and yet the season long story focuses on Eddie’s relationship with his estranged wife and Buck is dealing with his own growth after being left by Abby. Their friendship shines and their scenes are great but none of them suggest romance and there are actually a lot of episodes where Buck and Eddie barely interact in S2 aside from in the background or for small work related moments (this mostly happens after Shannon returns).

S2 does give us the first acknowledgement from the powers that be aka Tim Minear that they know what the fans have seen. This is why the elf scene exists, but it exists in a space where it’s a nod to the fans and not meant to do much more than that. The other moment is during the call with the livestreamer. But S2, places them completely and without question on a strong friendship.

S3:

We see a lot more conflict for Buck and Eddie in this season and we see how close and important they are to each other. Those are the two main things. That can be read as friendship easily and it’s a season where both Buck and Eddie deal with their pasts and in one way or another start to get closure while their friendship remains intact.

Yes there are some scenes that make us squint and go huh, wtf? (I’m looking at you kitchen scene), but narratively we also know that neither of these boys is ready for a real relationship with anyone, let alone each other. But we can bask in how close they are as well as how Christopher fits in into all of it.

But in S3 we are also introduced to Ana and we see the return of Abby. We also get to see that Buck and Eddie have become closer than ever and that the lawsuit only serves to highlight the importance that they both feel about having the other available to them. I’ll also quickly mention that Eddie Begins worked hard to highlight Buck’s devotion to Eddie.

S4:

Without considering the events of the finale (I am avoiding spoilers and know nothing about it or the speculation), we’ve seen Buck and Eddie both grow and get further closure on their past. This season has paralleled them well and their friendship has not faltered, they’re as close as ever.

The beginning of the season was heavily focused on Buck and we saw him grow as a person and begin to work on himself in a healthy way and we’ve seen Eddie be supportive of that.

We also have Ana to consider and her relationship with Eddie as well as the return of Taylor and yet the appearance of these women has not changed the Buck and Eddie dynamic. And I find it fascinating that Eddie beginning to date Ana, is the thing that prompted Buck to start dating. The parallels are all over the place but it is the strength of the friendship and the way they care so deeply about each other that remains whether that becomes romantic is still to be seen, but it could still go either way.

Off-screen by the end of S2, Tim Minear had already addressed Buddie by throwing in that elf scene in a wink/nudge fashion that said “I see you” and in the scene with the girl with the livestream with the comments. During S3 he tweeted about being frustrated by the fans demanding and being hostile and thinking that that would make him more likely to do what they want (I’m paraphrasing what I remember seeing). Tim has never once said that Buddie will happen or shut the door on the ship entirely, but he did say he did not want to engage in conversation about it because he doesn’t want to get into arguments with fans.

Oliver has always been enthusiastic about Buddie and has even said that he would be perfectly fine with it happening both a while ago and more recently in promo for S4. Conscious of queerbaiting and not wanting to give fans false hope, he has specifically said that he does not know if it will or won’t happen and that he wouldn’t speak on that as he’s not the one making that decision. His support for it happening does not mean he has any sway one way or the other. He’s said this a few times and even wrote a letter to the effect to make it clear to fans that the last thing he wants is to disappoint someone due to something he’s said.

All in all, it just isn’t a constructive environment for anyone working on the show to interact with fans on this topic because any time that they do, they get attacked by overly enthusiastic buddie shippers that in many ways are making everything worse.

In all of the interviews from Tim that I’ve seen, he has always been very quick to hint at what was coming up on the show in a way that at times has been misleading on purpose. The number one thing that comes to mind is early in S4 where Buck was said to get a new woman in his life. Tim absolutely made it out to seem like it was a girlfriend while knowing fully well that it was a therapist. This is an excellent example of what promoting and hinting is actually like. No one from this show has done that in regards to Buddie.

No one has gone out of their way to hint that it may happen in a way that excites the fans. And this is one of my main reasons for knowing that Buddie is not a queerbait. At no point in the life of the show so far has anyone used Buddie in a promotional way to bring in viewers. Because THAT was the whole point of queerbaiting in the past.

It was a way that some showrunners found to bring in a lot of viewers when they needed to up their numbers in order to show networks they were worth keeping around. Someone figured out that LGBTQ people wanted to see themselves represented so much so that they would tune in to anything that promised an LGBTQ character in some fashion. It was a tactic that worked well in the landscape of tv where there was so little LGBTQ content on mainstream media that anyone wanting it would latch onto anything. And then they just wouldn’t deliver on those relationships or characters. In 2021, that is not the world we live in any longer.

In today’s tv landscape there is so much to watch and so much to pick from and diversity has grown, it is celebrated. Queer characters are well represented as are queer relationships and queer stories. The times are different. A while back I was listening to a podcast (Bait: a queerbaiting podcast) and something I found interesting was how the hosts both agreed that in today’s tv landscape there is no more real queerbait and that we won’t easily find anything like the ships I mentioned above. I think I agree more with this than I expected to, because I do think that it exists in some spaces, but it definitely isn’t what it used to be. This is a good thing.

Specific to 9-1-1, this is a show that has that diversity and that isn’t afraid of tackling that diversity and giving us interesting and nuanced perspectives and stories embracing that. We have characters of color, women in positions of power, a F/F relationship, two multi-racial relationships, a disabled character, other queer characters including a M/M relationship. There is so much in this show that embraces diversity and that embraces the reality of what the world looks like. To call it queerbait is to disrespect everything else that this show is and has done and the hard storylines that have been tackled that we would not have seen on tv ten years ago.

And I get that Buddie would be another breakthrough. It would be a novel way to tell a queer story, and it would be amazing if it were to happen. The set up is there, but it isn’t fully realized, and Buck and Eddie can still be read as just friends if we take off the shipping goggles. But it also isn’t queerbait or likely to become queerbait and people have to stop calling it that.

What Buddie resembles is one of the many unintended slow burn ships that have frustrated viewers in many forms across fandoms and we just have to go along for the ride and maybe it will happen. Or maybe it won’t. But if we know anything about relationships on tv, it is that a lot of the fun comes from the journey, even if the destination is good too.

#911 fox #buddie #911 meta #911 on fox #buddie meta #buddie is not queerbaiting #long post #this is almost 2k long

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cielhelm · 3 years

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I love my girls and I’m proud of this passage! (transcript below!)

And then it’s Regina, and then it’s me, separated by a ceramic sink and our own prides, stubborn and stiff as the permanent marker above my ring finger knuckle that I suddenly become interested in trying to scrub off. I try not to look at her, because I know what I’ll see if I do. I know what I’ll want if I do.

And if I have learned anything at all from high school, it is that wanting almost always kills me in the end.

She shuts the faucet off so suddenly that it snaps me back into reality, and I focus on scrubbing until she finally speaks.

“He didn’t show up.”

She avoids his names so carefully, but I can feel it; the avalanche building, the slow churn from hearing her voice again almost activating it.

“Yes,” I respond carefully, my voice hoarse from barely using it all day.

“He’s the only one who didn’t show.”

An accusation. She doesn’t say it, but what we’re both thinking is that it’s because of me, the way so many things are. Everyone thinks they know what happened that year, and maybe they have some of it right. Maybe I am reckless with other people. Maybe I am unlovable in the wake of everything. My old therapist told me that guilt is a hungry emotion, and that there was no use feeding it. But it sits in the hollow of my stomach still, waiting for more.

I can notice her green eyes piercing through me in the mirror, at my reflection, like she’s avoiding looking at me headfirst. We’ve been here before. I shift my eyes towards the mirror, too, absentmindedly running my wet fingers along the strands of dry shampooed hair as though fixing myself but really trying to see what she sees. Chapped lips from the cold, dark pink. The smatter of dark freckles thrown at my nose, the top of my cheeks. The eyeliner from my bottom lash line smudging into my carefully concealed eyebags. Eyes bored and brown and waiting.

“It feels…” she starts, searching for the words. My eyes meet hers in the mirror, and it’s a familiar feeling that shocks its way into my system. Reminiscent of days long ago poured over study guides, her hand steady on my arm, eyes finding eyes in realizations of highlighted answers. It feels.

“Like freedom,” I finish for her. My own voice spooks me; echoing off the tiles too loudly. She shuts off the faucet without breaking my gaze. I didn’t mean to say it, and it sounds ugly, but it’s the truth. It is freedom; to not hold my breath the entire day. To not run and hide from him anymore. To not crane my neck looking for an emergency exit.

“You know,” she starts, calculated, “I didn’t blame you for any of it.” My knuckle becomes more interesting all of a sudden. There’s too much energy here for me to focus on anything else, and I can feel her waiting for an answer.

“Thanks,” I say. “But everyone else does.”

She ignores me, reaching behind me so quickly I flinch. She yanks paper towels from the wall behind me, and I loosen.

“Are you working for your newspaper?”

“Obviously.” The corner of her lips quirks up. She tucks her long black hair behind her ears.

“This right here could probably be a story,” she muses. I know what she means by it, too— the melodrama of all of it; the petrichor and bittersweet. The gray small squares on the floor, the semi-harsh lighting. Me, in tangles over this strange reconnection.

“Probably,” I shift my feet, the rubber of my sneaker toes echoing along with my voice.

Regina tilts her head slightly, and I attempt to stand tall, wishing I had something more interesting to say. But I don’t; I never seem to around her.

“Well,” she starts, throwing the cheap brown paper towel into the waste can next to the sink, “see you back out there?” A question. Her eyebrow quirks up, and she waits for a response. Waits for me to tell her that I’m not running. Not this time, at least.

“Yeah. See you back out there.”

#my writing #wip: these hands of mine #camp nano #writers #writeblr

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notalwayslate · 4 years

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Building Dreams

For @eirian-houpe

It is I your Secret Santa. It appears that tumblr was not a fan of my anon messages,but I”m so happy to be able to reveal myself! No more anon! :)

Prompt: There’s nothing I can do

Summary: When the town’s mayor sets her sights on destroying Belle French’s plans of reopening the library, the ever fearsome Mr. Gold makes a deal with an unlikely source to ensure the library becomes a reality for his secret crush.

Building Dreams.

“There’s nothing I can do.”

Hearing those five words often filled Robert Gold with annoyance as they were usually spouted off by some pitiful tenant who had gotten themselves into an insurmountable problem and couldn’t pay their rent on time. But in this case, his stomach dropped as he overheard these words of desperation coming out of the mouth of a distraught Belle French as she sat in a booth behind him at Granny’s diner.

“There’s nothing I can do, Ruby. The mayor is insistent that the library be ready in three weeks so she can have her grand reopening ceremony, but with the limited resources she allotted me, I have to do all the repairs myself. I can’t fix every book shelf, repaint the library, and organize an entire library catalog in three weeks.”

It was merely two months ago when Ms. French had presented her pitch to reopen Storybrooke’s long abandoned library to the city council, of which he was a member. Unbeknownst to Regina, the town’s mayor, he had secretly assisted Ms. French in preparing for her presentation and had already secured the needed votes from the other council members prior to that day.

Miffed that her sole objections to the library reopening were dismissed so quickly by the committee, it was obvious to Gold that Regina stewed over the fact that he appeared to have more pull and power over the town, then her.

He had carelessly assumed that after a few days of sulking Regina would get over it, but after hearing this, it appeared that the Mayor was determined to have Ms. French’s library project fail out of spite.

“Can’t you just ask for more time?” Ruby questioned.

“I already did. The mayor said if I couldn’t execute this simple of a task, than she would have to find someone else who could. So if I can’t get it done, I’m fired.”

His blood boiled in anger. So Regina was already threatening to take this job away from her? He fought the urge to march over to the Mayor’s office, and place his hands around her throat. How dare she threaten someone as pure and loving as Ms. French. He would not let this stand, could not let this stand. That library would be ready to open in three weeks come hell or high water.

As the bell above the pawnshop door rang out, Gold barely had time to glance up before a fuming Leroy came charging towards the counter.

“If you are even thinking about raising our rent Gold, so help me….”

Gold lifted his hand, immediately silencing the short grumpy man’s tirade.

“I am not raising your rent….yet.”

Befuddled, Leroy’s posture relaxed slightly. “Well why else would you want to see me then?”

With a devilish smile, Golden explained in detail, how he would waive Leroy and his brothers’ rent for the next three months in exchange for their assistance in helping Ms. French fix up the library in time for the Mayor’s grand reopening.

“So what you’re saying is we help this broad out and we don’t have to pay rent for three months?”

Sighing at the coarse depiction of Ms. French as a broad, Gold nodded. “Yes, but with one caveat. You must not tell Ms. French of our deal.”

“So what do I say if she asks?”

“That you and your brothers simply want to volunteer to assist her at no cost.”

Leroy gave him a quizzical look.

“I don’t get it. What do you get out of all this?”

Sneering he showed his teeth. “That is none of your business.”

Although still clearly suspicious by the entire matter, Leroy readily agreed to the deal, promising Gold that he and his six brothers would start renovations the very next day.

Although rough around the edges, Gold knew that the Miner brothers were hard workers, and had little doubt that they would indeed have the library remodeled in time. If not, he would make as many deals as necessary to ensure that Ms. French’s dreams of running this library came to fruition.

Two weeks later, Gold sauntered into Granny’s taking his usual seat at the counter. He went to take his first sip of coffee, when a purse smashed down on the counter next to him.

“What the hell are you up to Gold?”

Not being deterred by the outburst, he took a long sip of coffee, gently placing the cup back down, before turning his attention towards the agitated face of the town’s mayor.

“Ah, Madam Mayor, to what do I owe the displeasure of your company this morning?”

“I know about your little deal with those seven imbeciles.”

Gritting his teeth, he tried to maintain a steady composure, although inwardly he was seething. He would deal with that blabbermouth little rat Leroy later; right now he had to remind Regina that he was not one she wanted to tangle with.

“Why whatever do you mean?”

Rolling her eyes she leaned in. “Cut the crap Gold. Now what I want to know is why you’re getting involved in this? Why are you helping her?”

Narrowing his eyes his cold stare bore into hers. “When the committee approved this plan months ago we did so with the intent of it being a success. Ms. French is a viable asset to this town, and is more than capable of handling this project, when given an equal playing field against your obvious sabotage. So I suggest you leave Ms. French and this library alone or I will really give you something to fret about."

An arrogant smirk hit Regina’s red painted lips. “You like her.”

Scoffing Gold turned back towards the counter, as Regina’s hot breath tickled at his ears.

“I had my suspicions at that meeting. Oh, what a grand idea Ms. French, I would love to hear more of your thoughts Ms. French.” She mimicked in a mocking tone. “ How pathetic. She’s half your age, Gold. Do you really think giving her this library is going to get her to sleep with you?”

Not wanting to give her the pleasure of getting a reaction from him, he sat there silently sipping on his coffee as Regina continued to hurl insult after insult into his ear. He didn’t worry about the other patrons hearing her tirade as Regina kept her voice low, clearly trying to protect her public image of a caring respectful servant of the people. After a few more agonizing jabs about his age, he heard her let out a sarcastic chuckle.

“You know what you can have your little library Gold. It will be satisfying enough to watch when all of your perverted little delusions about you and that librarian come crashing down around you.” With that last insult, she picked her purse up off the counter, moving towards the door. “See you at the opening next week Mr. Gold,” she spouted exiting the diner.

Try as he might, Gold could not shake Regina’s taunting words, as he sat at his workshop later that day tinkering with the broken gears of an antique watch. Although he tried to convince himself that he only stepped in to help Ms. French because he wanted this project to succeed his heart knew the truth… he was in love with Belle French.

His feelings for her blossomed years ago when she had started working full time at her father’s flower shop, after graduating from high school. He had always had problems with her father Maurice, a drunk, who often wasted the shop’s money on booze and gambling rather than paying his rent on time.

He was impressed when Maurice’s daughter suggested that he collect the rent every week, instead of monthly, with the reasoning that she could pay him before her father dipped his hands into the register. And so it was with this new arrangement that he visited the flower shop every week with the intent to collect rent, but as he did so he found himself falling into longer conversations with Ms. French. After a few months, he found himself actually looking forward to their interactions, and soon their visits were the highlights of his week.

He was impressed with not only her beauty but her intellect and soon found himself falling for her. Although he wanted her desperately, he kept his feelings hidden, knowing that she was far too good to be with a broken down old man like himself. Every week he went, and every week he fell more in love with her.

During one of their many conversations she had confided in him that her dream was to one day become a librarian. Once he learned of her aspirations, he quietly started to look into the old abandoned town’s library and soon discovered that it was a viable option to reopen.

With the information in hand, he had encouraged her to follow her dreams. He was all too delighted when she agreed, and was impressed at how quickly she threw herself into researching all aspects of the project. Of course he gave her his valuable assistance by using his pull to bypass the usual red tape of government, and provided her with the needed permits and budgets that she required for her proposal.

And now here she was just days away from becoming a librarian with a newly renovated library. His heart burst with love and pride at the thought.

The ringing bell pulled him from his thoughts alerting him that someone had entered his shop. He groaned, praying that it wasn’t Regina coming back for another round of insults. Pushing the curtain back, he stopped dead in his tracks, as Ms. French stood before him.

She looked shorter than usual, a feat contributed to the fact that she was wearing tennis shoes instead of her high heels. Her auburn hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and he could see splotches of paint on her tightly fitted blue jeans that showed off her shapely curve. Even after an obvious day of hard work and remodeling, she had never looked more beautiful.

“Hello Mr. Gold.” She beamed at him, and for a moment he forgot how to speak.

“Hello Ms. French.”

She frowned. “Belle. Please call me Belle.”

She had corrected him for years, and yet he could never find the nerve to address her so informally.

“What can I do for you Ms…Belle,” he corrected himself bringing a small smile to her lips.

“Well as you can probably tell,” she glanced down at herself, “I’ve been spending most of my time finishing up the library.”

“And how is that going by the way?” he feigned ignorance even though Leroy texted him daily on its progress. He was already well aware that the library was nearly complete, and would be ready for the ceremony next week.

“Great. I could never have pulled it all together without the help of the Miner brothers. I can never repay them for their kindness. I just can’t believe any of this is real, and I’m really going to be a librarian.”

Seeing the look of excitement in her eyes, Gold’s heart skipped a beat. She deserved this library and every bit of happiness that went along with it.

“You earned it, Belle.”

Her radiant smile took his breath away.

“We earned it, Mr. Gold. Don’t think I have forgotten that I could never have done this without you. I can’t wait for you to see it.”

For a moment her smile faltered, and he could have sworn he saw a look of apprehension in her eyes. “Speaking of which, I’m having a sort of a sneak peak of the library this Sunday, something much smaller and intimate then the Mayor’s grand reopening ceremony, and I was really hoping that you would attend?”

He was stunned for a moment that she would invite him to her own personal soiree. He knew his fearsome reputation around town, and just assumed that she wouldn’t want his presence darkening her moment.

“Are you sure you want me there?”

She looked like he had punched her in the gut, and he immediately cursed himself for causing her distress.

“Of course I want you there.” She spoke sullenly.

“Then I would be honored to attend.”

He let out a sigh of relief as a smile returned to her face. Clasping her hands together in excitement, she gave him further details and gleefully stated she would see him at 7 on Sunday, before bouncing out of his shop.

Sunday came all too soon, as Gold stood in his closet for the last hour fussing over which shirt and tie he would wear, before deciding upon his dark blue shirt with red tie. Why was he so nervous? He could be social, and casually mingle with Belle’s friends, without making a total fool out of himself, right?

His mind raced at who else he thought would be there. Of course she would invite Ruby, and Leroy and his brothers. He couldn’t help but wonder if her father would be there. If he had the nerve to show up drunk to Belle’s function, Gold wasn’t sure what he would do to the man. He wanted everything to be perfect for her that night, and for a moment he considered if he should just stay home and not ruin the atmosphere, before remembering that he had given her his word that he would be there.

With a nervous swell in his stomach, he made the short drive to the town square. He pulled into his regular parking spot in front of the pawnshop, looking across the street at the clock tower above the library. It was 6:45.

It was still early and he debated if he should wait in his Cadillac until it was closer to seven. Seeing no other cars or people nearby he fretted that she might need some last minute help to set up. Taking a deep breath he exited the car, making his way to the entrance of the library.

Just as his hand reached for the handle, the door swung open towards him, as Leroy marched out followed closely in line by his six brothers. Glancing his way, Leroy froze in place causing a line of collisions.

“He’s here,” Leroy called out over his shoulder, as the message made its way down the brothers, ending with the smallest, Clark who shouted the statement into the library.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Gold shook his head in disbelief. “Was that announcement really necessary? I can assure you people know when I enter a room.”

“Right,” Leroy paused before taking a step forward. “Well we have to go Mr. Gold. Have a wonderful night.”

Gold planted his hand firmly on Leroy’s chest, halting him mid step.

“Wait. You and I have some unfinished business to discuss. I had a very informative conversation with our Mayor a few days ago.”

“Oh?” Leroy questioned, as Gold felt his entire body trembling under his fingertips.

“Oh yes. Imagine my surprise when she told me how a pitiful little piss ant told her that I was the one…” His threat ceased as Belle’s smiling face emerged from the doorway. Quickly wiping the sneer from his face, he took his hand off of Leroy’s chest.

“Mr. Gold, I’m so glad you came,” she beamed, as he straightened his stance.

“Are you still sure you want to do this sister?” Leroy asked over his shoulder, never taking his eyes off of Gold.

“You guys have a wonderful night,” Belle pronounced, as Gold stepped to the side allowing the seven brothers to walk past him unscathed.

With the seven irritations out of sight, Gold was finally able to relish how breathtakingly beautiful Belle looked standing before him. She wore a laced blue dress with a red belt and red heels. He inwardly praised his own choice of shirt and tie, as their complimentary outfits made them look like a perfectly matched pair.

“Won’t you please come in,” Belle held the door open allowing him to enter the foyer. Once in, he moved to the side, awaiting her to guide him into the library. He was surprised that the Miner brothers had left, as he had surely thought Belle would have invited them to this small gathering, but he didn’t want to be rude and question her choices.

Looking around Gold was in awe at how perfectly put together the library turned out. He listened intently as she pointed out all of the changes and repairs that were made about the room.

As they moved further into the library, his stomach growled as the enticing smell of food hit his nostrils. As they rounded the corner, he froze in place at the sight.

Before him was a small table, delicately set with just two place settings. Perplexed he looked at Belle, as she took a deep breath.

“Would you please have dinner with me, Mr. Gold?”

All manner of speech left him, as he stood gaping at her. He didn’t understand. Other people were coming weren’t they? There was no possible way that a woman like Belle French would possibly want to have a romantic dinner with him.

As he continued to stare at her in disbelief, she bit her lip, and he saw a look of worry in her eyes. Next thing he knew, she started to ramble.

“It’s just…I’ve really missed our weekly talks, and you know… I just wanted to thank you and see you. I’ve missed you… and when I found out you had the Miner brothers help me…I”

Her last statement snapped him back into a cold reality. She knew about his deal. So that is what all of this was about. She felt like she owed him something. This was the exact reason he didn’t want her to know, so she didn’t feel some type of obligation towards him. Regina was right, he was a perverted old man.

“So Leroy told you?”

Her eyes went wide, a clear indication that she had not realized what she had just confessed. “Well…yes but...”

Gold shook his head in anger. Clearly Leroy did not understand the consequences of breaking deals with him, but he would soon learn.

“Please don’t be angry with him.” He could see that she was trying to placate his anger, but he was having none of it.

“When did he tell you?”

Sighing Belle’s arms fell to her side. “The first day they were here.”

The first day? The very first day? Closing his eyes, Gold started to imagine all of the ways that he would make Leroy suffer for this. Obviously he would triple his rent, but thoughts of cutting out his tongue flashed in his mind, before Belle’s voice regained his attention.

“I know you didn’t want me to know and you are upset, but I still very much would like to have dinner with you Mr. Gold.”

“You don’t owe me a dinner or anything else, Ms. French.” He turned to leave as she shouted.

“I have been in love with you for years.”

Her words halted him.

“You have no idea how long I have wanted to tell you that. You are the only person in my life who I felt really got me. You believed in me, encouraged me to follow my dreams. I know you think I’m too young, and that I’m doing this out of some misguided loyalty, but I can promise you one thing Mr. Gold. I loved you long before this whole library proposal existed and will love you long after all of this Mr. Gold.”

Tears pooled in his eyes at her confession. Turning, he stumbled for a moment in surprise to find that she had moved before him. Slowly he lifted his hand as his knuckles tenderly graced her cheek.

“Robert.”

Her brows drew together in confusion.

“Call me Robert,” he said.

“I love you Robert,” she said looking deeply into his eyes.

“And I love you Belle.”

Slowly she moved towards him, and he moaned at the taste of her lips. Far too soon, she pulled away from the kiss, smiling at him.

“So does that mean you will stay for dinner?”

A crooked grin graced his lips. “So there’s no one else coming tonight?”

Laughing she shook her head no. “Just you and I. I hope you are not too disappointed though,” she teased.

“Well at least I’m still getting a sneak peek at the library,” he winked, placing her arm in his, as he guided them over to the set table.

“Oh, Mr. Gold, I’m quite sure you will be getting a sneak peek at a great many things tonight,” she purred.

#rumbelle christmas in july #eirian-houpe #rumbelle fic #rumbelle #rjic

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sprnklersplashes · 4 years

Text

heart of stone (5/?)

AO3

Janis will always remember this morning.

The sun is just about up as she stands in her bedroom, fighting for dominance with grey clouds that promise a shower later on. Across the city, kids are groaning and pressing the snooze buttons, getting dressed and brushing their teeth, packing their bags and making sure they have everything for the day ahead. Janis is doing the almost same thing, but instead of packing for school, she’s squashing as much as she can into her bag, trying to take as much of home with her as she possibly can. They’re all headed off to school and will see their homes again tonight, she won’t see this bedroom for another two weeks.

Her teeth dig into her lip and she pushes another sweater into the bag. It’s a little like going on vacation; she has no idea what’s enough pairs of underwear and if she’ll need a sweater and if she really needs this t-shirt she hasn’t worn in two years. Maybe if she pretends it’s a vacation she can get through it.

She picks up the small stuffed kitten that lay across her pillows. He’s been her constant companion since she was five, accompanying her to sleepovers and overnight field trips and Girl Scout retreats. Wherever she slept, he slept. Which is why she doesn’t hesitate in putting him in her bag. She drops a little kiss to his forehead before she packs him, though, and decides to put him in the side of her backpack instead. To let him look out at everything. And so she can grab him if she needs him.

She hasn’t eaten anything. Her stomach has twisted itself into knots and tied those knots together and folded in on itself. She picked at oatmeal downstairs but despite her parents insistence, she couldn’t eat any of it. Her dad had reminded her that she’d need her strength for the day ahead and Janis had stifled a laugh. She doesn’t feel strong at all right now and doubts oatmeal could help. Her parents had only allowed her to go upstairs to finish packing when she agreed to take her breakfast with her.

To kill time, and to avoid the cold oatmeal glaring at her from her nightstand, she looks through the open drawers, trying to find something to add to the mass in her bag. Her doctor had advised her to pack what she’d be most comfortable in. He of course meant PJs and sweatpants and stuff Janis can lounge in during her treatment, but the two of them seem to have different versions of ‘comfortable’. For Janis, comfort means being happy with herself, and what she wears is sort of like a manifestation of her own soul. After all, it did take longer than she thought to find out what she likes wearing. So in that vein, her bag is filled with fishnet tights and graphic tees and shorts and denim skirts. And a few pairs of leggings, just to keep her mom happy.

As she looks through the drawers and tries to block out her parents’ muffled conversations, she pulls out a hoodie that’s far too big to be hers. She pulls it out, falling back against her bed as she does so. She knows who owns it before she opens it up, and her breath catches in her throat. It’s Damian’s; originally plain white but she had tie-dyed it for him and sewn little a little rainbow under the hood as a birthday present last year. He must have left it here and a while ago and she had always intended to give it back. But now…

She holds it against her body, burying her face in the soft fabric inside the hood. She knows how it sounds, but having this sweater is the next best thing to having Damian with her. It feels like him, his big teddy bear body pulling her into a hug that lasts for ages, making her feel more safe than she does anywhere else.

Hopefully, he’ll understand.

“Janis?” She jumps a bit before turning around, her dad having caught her off guard. He stands awkwardly in the doorway, his shoulders hunched over and his hips moving back and forth like someone is pulling strings on both sides. “You okay?”

“Fine,” she replies, thankful that her eyes are dry. She pushes herself up and heads to the bed, wringing the sweater in her hands. “Just went to get this.” She manages to squish it into the bag and zip it up, catching on clothes along the way. Her dad does offer to help but she shakes him off and manages to get the thing closed, even if it is straining and reminds her vaguely of an overstuffed Christmas turkey.

“That’s everything,” she says. “Right?”

“Is it? You got the essentials?”

“Yeah,” she nods. “Um, underwear, PJs, clothes, laptop, notebook, pencils, chargers, phone, toothbrush, hairbrush…” She rattles them off on her fingers, the monotony of it somehow calming her.

“I see your little kitty’s coming too,” her dad points out, tapping under the toy’s chin. “Didn’t want to miss out, did he?” Janis chuckles at that. Despite her having grown out of that phase, her dad has kept on treating Purrlock like he’s real. She loves him for that.

“He said two weeks without me was too long,” she replies. Two weeks of sleeping in a different bed and eating food that wasn’t cooked in their kitchen, not seeing her friends and instead getting medicines pumped into her body because her body is being wrecked from the inside.

She comes back to herself just in time to see her hand reaching to grab Purrlock out of her bag.

“Hey.” Her dad takes the toy and gently presses it into her hand, his free hand rubbing up and down her arm. She can’t be imagining him trembling. Even so, she rests her head on his shoulder and lets him hold her tight. They stand in silence for a while before her dad whispers “Come on, it’s time to go,” in her ear. He has to pull her out of her room and takes both her bags with him. In the back of her mind, she wishes she could help, but she feels a little like her brain is on standby.

Her mom is already waiting in the car, her own bag packed. Her parents agreed that her mom would stay in the hospital with Janis while her dad stays at work, promising to visit her every night. ‘They’re going to have to extend visiting hours just for me’ he had promised. She slides into the backseat and places her backpack on her lap for something to hold on to.

“Everybody say ‘bye bye house’,” she says. It’s barely a joke, just something her parents liked to say when they would go on road trips when she was little, but it gets a laugh out of both of them.

As the car pulls out of the drive, she gives a minute wave goodbye to her house. Suddenly two weeks seems a lot longer than it had.

*****

Janis will never understand how people who work in hospitals are so damn cheerful. The receptionist who greets them, the nurses who guide her to her new room and give her a medical bracelet, they all have such a peppy, wholesome demeanour that makes them feel unsuited for the job they have. Like they should be on the side-lines of a football game instead,

Her room is identical to the other ones they passed; pale blue walls and a large window, in her case overlooking the parking lot, and a bathroom attached. Little Janis is jumping up and down with glee. She always wanted an en suite. Then there’s the bed, the one thing she doesn’t want to look at. With its sturdy grey frame and spotless, perfectly made white sheets it looks even more impersonal than the rest of the room. The worst part by far is the white bar above it which has outlets and hooks along it. All to house her various medicines and drugs.

Ward 3, Room 21. Her new home.

“Okay, let’s get you settled in,” the nurse begins. She did introduce herself, something beginning with an L, but it didn’t stick. “And then Doctor Wiley will be down to see you in a few minutes.” Again, the all-too-happy manners feel more like they belong in a hotel lobby. Like she’s just gone on vacation for a week. So, as though she’s on vacation, she wanders over and sits on the mattress, pushing herself up and down.

“Not very bouncy,” she concludes.

“I’ll put in a complaint with the manager,” her dad replies and she laughs, really laughs.

“You’re such a Karen,” she chuckles. “Not my Karen. Just you know… the species Karen.”

“I’ll get a bob and amber highlights,” he goes on and she leans back on the bed, still laughing. “Start ordering ice Frappuccino’s at Starbucks. Those are what Karens drink, right?”

“No, that’s what Regina George drinks,” her mom corrects him. “A Karen would have a latte, skim milk, no cream, half a pack of sweetener and then bring her own organic chocolate.” Janis’ cheeks almost hurt from smiling and laughing, but it fades almost instantly when she sees the doctor appearing behind them, the same one they spoke to before. Doctor Wiley, she assumes, but she’ll almost always be calling him Mr Doctor Man in the future.

Her parents take notice of him and in one motion, move away from the door and next to her, flanking her on either side.

“Well, I wish I was seeing you under different circumstances, Janis,” he says, a grim edge to his voice.

“The feeling’s mutual,” she replies. The corners of his mouth turn up at that. For her, the air turns chilly and she pulls her cardigan tighter around her.

“First thing’s first, we’re going to take a little blood test-”

“I already did one,” she interrupts. “Isn’t that the whole reason I’m here?”

“Well, yes, but this is a different one,” he explains. “That was to determine the type of cancer you have; this will be so we know how best to administer the chemo. We’ll also need to do a quick physical exam, check your height, weight, breathing, all so we know how to tailor your treatment to you.”

“Treatment that’s personally tailored to me,” she says. “What a dream.” Mr Doctor nods, a knowing smirk on his face that lifts Janis’ head. They lock eyes for a fraction of a second before he looks at her parents, as though he knows something they don’t.

“She’s going to be a fighter, I can tell,” he says. At that, her dad squeezes her hand and for a second, she wonders if she might actually make it through this.

Doctor Man’s comment and her parents’ pride both give her the strength to make it through the physical exam at least. It’s all quick and easy, even when he gets the needle out to draw her blood. Unlike Karen, who balks at the mere mention of one, she’s not particularly frightened of needles. She doesn’t love the idea either, but the only reaction she gives is her hand tightening on the arm of the chair.

So before homeroom ends for her friends, she’s standing with a cookie in one hand, juice box in the other and a tiny bandage on her arm.

“We’ll hope to get you started as quickly as possible,” her nurse explains. “In the meantime, why don’t you go check the place out? There’s a good teen lounge down the hall. There’s TV, games, movies. The whole shebang.”

“The whole shebang,” Janis echoes, a faint smile on her face.

“Do the kids not say ‘shebang’ anymore?” the nurse asks innocently.

“Not since the 90s, I think,” she replies. She kicks the ground with the toe of her boot, her hands plunged into her pockets. When she takes a tiny look up, she sees her parents deep in conversation with the doctor. If she doesn’t go to the lounge, it’s back to her room and that isn’t appealing to her. Besides, been there, seen that. “Sounds cool. Where do I find it?”

She probably could have found it without the nurse’s directions, but the sunny smile she delivers them with does something to calm Janis’ nerves. It’s a bit down past her room, honey-coloured double doors open revealing a bigger area with three baby blue walls and one white and covered in pencil doodles. They’ve clearly gone all out to make it cheerful and inviting, from the yellow sunshine rug on the floor to the overstuffed bookshelves and equally overstuffed DVD and game cabinet, to the large plush armchairs, each one with a brightly coloured cushion on it that looks like it was brought in a thrift store. A cool thrift store, though. One of the chairs is occupied now by what appears to be the only person in the room besides Janis.

“Wow.” Janis jumps, and then surprisingly, she supresses a sigh. She simply assumed her parents were still talking to the doctors, but that was probably a stupid assumption. Of course they’d be on her heels. Why would they let their illness-stricken daughter out of their sight? “Well this is cool.”

“Yeah,” she mumbles in reply. As her parents take in the room, the other kid looks up at her. She can’t be more than fourteen, legs folded beneath her on the chair, clad in rainbow-stripped leggings and a pink hoodie with who she recognises to be Princess Aurora on the front. And a beanie on her head, made from purple wool. Janis’ hand clenches in her pocket, her mouth running dry.

“Hey, sweetie,” her mom says, appearing at her side. “Do you need anything? There was a little store downstairs and the doctors said you might want to eat or drink something before your treatment starts.”

Relief hits her like a water balloon being thrown and guilt quickly follows. Not enough to make her refuse, but enough to make her notice and hope this doesn’t become common.

“That’d be great, Mom,” she replies. “I didn’t really eat breakfast.”

“That’s fine, we’ll get you something. Anything in particular you want? I can get you some candy if you want, or some-”

“It’s fine,” she says, plastering a smile on her face and patting her mom’s hand. “I trust your judgement. I’ll be here.”

Her mom cups her face before she finally leaves and Janis lets out a sigh before she can stop herself. Her eyes move to the other girl out on instinct and she finds her giggling. Should she be annoyed by that? If so, she’s doing the opposite. She pauses for a second before moving towards her and sitting on the arm of the chair next to her.

“Hey,” she greets. “I’m Janis.”

Damian’s voice whispers ‘and je m’appelle Sasha Fierce’ in her ear. She shakes her head to get it out.

“Hey,” she replies, putting her tablet by her side. “I’m Maddie.” Her eyes are green and there are braces on her teeth and dimples in her cheeks and as cute as Janis finds it, there’s an air of discomfort that she hopes Maddie doesn’t pick up on. She doesn’t appear to, instead looking at her with inquisitive eyes. “You’re new here, aren’t you?”

“How can you tell?”

“Well, first off, I’ve never seen you. And I know everything that goes on in here.” Janis chuckles.

“So you’re the all-seeing eye,” she states and Maddie nods excitedly. “No one gets in or out without you noticing.”

“Nope.” The smile on Maddie’s face falters and her fingers fidget in her lap. “And you look… well…” As her voice trails off, the pieces click together in Janis’ mind. Even despite the height difference, there’s a visible contrast between her and Maddie that she can’t ignore. Her hand twitches to touch her hair.

“Scary? Yeah, well, I’m 5”9’,” she responds, bringing the grin back. “Plus the dye job makes me look tougher than I actually am.” She leans back so that she sits on the seat, her feet dangling over the arm.

“Oh, I love your boots!” Maddie squeaks, her eyes going wide.

“Yeah?” There’s a rush of protective affection in her chest, slightly similar to when she saw Cady looking helpless and hopeless in health class, but she’s certain it won’t develop the way those feelings did. She wiggles her legs, letting the light catch her boots. “$15 at a thrift store.”

“Woah,” she breathes. A sheepish look crosses her face, a question on her mind that may as well be written across her forehead.

“You want to try them on?”

“Can I?” Maddie’s mouth has fallen open and her eyes bulge in a perfect picture of delight that warms Janis’ heart. That feeling doesn’t go away when she toes off her boots and only swells when Maddie steps into them. Even in those boots, she barely comes up to Janis’ chest. She looks up at her with so much giddy excitement that Janis wouldn’t be surprised if she started singing.

“Oh they suit you,” she says.

“Thanks.” She looks down at them, clumsily tapping the heels together like Dorothy. “I’ve always wanted a pair of shoes like these but my mom always said they’re too adult for me. Though she has been whittled down from ‘not until your 18’ to ‘maybe for your birthday’.”

“You must be quite the negotiator.”

“Well, I guess. But she finds it hard to say no to me these days,” she shrugs.

“Ah.” Suddenly the light in Janis’ chest begins to dim and she finds herself cold again. “Well that’s fun.”

“Yeah…” Maddie must have picked up on the mood change because she sits back down and Janis follows her, once again picking at her nails. “So… what are you in for?”

“You sound like we’re in prison,” she jokes. She puts on a gruff voice and a stern expression and says “I’ve killed a man. I killed a man for a jar of pickles. And I’d do it again.” Maddie chuckles again, the sound sweet and light and well… happier than Janis thought possible given the circumstances. She picks at her fishnets, her chest heavily. “I’m in for leukaemia.”

“Oh,” is Maddie’s response, as well as a nod. “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, it sucks,” she sighs. She considers what she wants to say carefully, reasoning that Maddie asked her the same. Maybe boundaries don’t exist here, or at least they’re different. Maybe discussing your cancer here is like discussing your test scores at school. “What about you?”

“My stomach,” she replies. “I started feeling weird two months ago, went to a doctor and I’ve been here ever since.”

“Two months?” Janis asks, astonished. She can barely imagine being here for a week, let alone two months. Her heart aches for herself and for Maddie, but there’s also a small spark of hope. Maddie’s been here two months and she seems strong enough. Who says she can’t?

“Yeah. I’m scheduled to finish soon though.” Maddie ducks her head, but it doesn’t stop Janis from seeing the sad expression on her little face. As she shakes her head and gives her a false-looking smile, Janis feels like she’s watching a replay of her own life.

“You’re incredibly tough,” she tells her and she watches the smile become real. She looks around the room, noticing things she hadn’t picked up on like the pile of board games in the corner and the flatscreen TV mounted on the wall. “So this is where you guys hang out?”

“Yeah. It’s usually more crowded than this,” she explains. “But you know… teenagers.”

“Hey, miss,” she says. “I’m a teenager too. And so are you.”

“Fair.” She taps her fingers on her knee in a rhythm Janis can’t quite place. “So your parents are with you?”

“Yeah,” she answers. “They just went to get me some food.”

“They seem cool.”

“I guess,” she says with a shrug. “You know. For parents. Speaking of, where are yours? Or do they just let a little kid like you sit alone in here with all the valuables.”

“I’m not a kid. I’ll be 13 in six weeks,” she tells her rather sternly. “I told my mom my feet were cold, so I asked her to go get me my fuzzy socks.” Janis nods, but quickly catches on to the flaw in Maddie’s idea.

“Those wouldn’t be the red fuzzy socks that you’re wearing underneath those boots, would it?” she asks.

“Shh,” she commands, finger to her lips. “She doesn’t need to know that!”

Janis throws her head back laughing at that. It’s like God took everything she could like about a human and condensed it into one little kid.

“Sneaky little brat,” she says approvingly. She’s keeping this one.

“Janis.” She turns and finds her parents right behind her chair, both with their hands full of goodies from the store. Definitely more than she can stomach now.

“Wow,” she says. “Did you leave any for anyone else?”

“Well we didn’t know exactly what you wanted,” her mom admits, flustered. “We did text you but you didn’t respond.”

“Sorry,” she shrugs. Her phone is both off and in her bag. There’s probably a lot she’s missed by now.

“It’s okay hon.” The three (four, including Maddie) sit in a tense, awkward silence in which everyone’s eyes avoid everyone else’s. Embarrassment flurries in Janis’ chest and she squirms in the chair, grappling in the empty air for a conversation topic.

“So what did you get?” she asks and everything comes back to normal again.

“Well, I got you… rice cakes, chips, candy bars… oh and we got you some water as well.” Janis stifles a laugh. Her parents are more than well-intentioned and her heart is warmed, but they’ve never gone this far before.

“Thanks,” she says, pulling a rice cake out of her mom’s arms. Out of the corner of her eye she notices Maddie shifting in her chair and she shares look with her mom, who drops another candy bar into her hand.

“Hey.” She barely has to stretch to poke Maddie in the arm with the candy. Her mouth falls open, the most sweet-sounding gasp that’s ever existed emitting from it and her eyes lighting up. Janis had no idea there was a way for a gasp to sound cute, but there is apparently. “Here. Take some sugar, kid.”

“Thanks!” she says. She takes the bar and weighs it in her hand, a decisive smile on her face for just a second before she slips the bar into her pocket. “For later,” she says.

Janis’ parents ask Maddie stuff Janis wouldn’t care for, about her school (as it happens, North Shore Middle School) and where she lives (again, as if happens, Edgewood Drive). All the while skirting around the obvious.

“Oh, my girlfriend lives there,” Janis remarks, breaking a rice cake in half. An empty packet is already sitting her lap; she hadn’t realised exactly how hungry skipping breakfast had made her. “Caddy Heron, you know her?”

“Heron? Is she the girl whose parents are zoologists?” she asks.

“The very one.”

“Oh yeah, I met them!” she answers brightly. “After they moved in my parents brought them a pie. You know, the neighbourly thing…” She leans on the chair, her eyes wide and glittering as though she’s about to drop a huge secret. “You know they used to live in Kenya?”

“Yeah,” Janis chuckles. “Yeah I knew that.”

“Oh right.” That doesn’t deter Maddie though. Quite the opposite, she shuffles closer to her, eagerness written all over her little face. When she speaks, it’s in a hushed, low voice that trembles with excitement. “She’s your girlfriend?”

“Yep. I got lucky, didn’t I?”

“Yeah. She’s really pretty. Well, she was the last time I saw her.”

“Oh she’s very pretty,” she says matter-of-factly. She reaches for her phone to show Maddie all the photos of her, but the thought of turning her phone on freezes it in its path. Turning her phone on means anyone in the world can contact her…

“I thought her name was Cady though,” she goes on, oblivious to Janis’ conflict. She shoves the phone behind her and turns to Maddie, finding it easy to get lost in conversation with her. “Not Caddy.”

“It’s Caddy in my world,” she replies, making Maddie giggle.

“So how long have you two been together?”

“Since the end of school.” There’s a blush creeping across her face that’s warm and no doubt pink coloured and her insides feel warm and gooey like a melted brownie, the way she always feels when she talks about Cady. “I asked her out and then we got dinner and saw a movie and then… you know…” She wiggles her eyebrows, Maddie’s laughing face half hidden between her hands. “Okay actually it wasn’t like that. But our first date was dinner and a movie.”

“Cool,” Maddie breathes. “I can’t wait to get my first girlfriend. Which might not happen for a while…” Oh no Janis thinks. “I mean, I don’t know how to talk to girls.”

“Neither do I,” she tells her, letting out a breath. “My friend had to push me to go talk to her. If it weren’t for him we’d probably still be friends right now.” She reaches out and playfully punches Maddie’s shoulder, the pull in her gut too big to ignore. She can almost hear Damian telling her not to meddle. To which she would reply ‘how is this meddling?’. “Tell you what, kid. If you ever need a wing woman or a gay guru, you come straight to me.”

“You mean that?” Her eyes grow ever wider, to the point where Janis starts wondering if they have limits. Just like with Cady’s equations, the limit does not exist.

“Of course. Us gays have to stick together. Like Luke Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi.”

“Who are those guys?” she asks, wrinkling her nose and confusion clouding her eyes. Janis opens her mouth to explain that it’s from some old (and not that good but still culturally relevant) movie, but her dad lets out an offended gasp before she can.

“I’m sorry,” he says when he’s met with one confused face and two amused ones. “I just can’t believe kids these days have never heard of Star Wars.”

“Oh, Star Wars,” Maddie says, as though it should have been obvious. “My brother loves them. Especially the old ones.”

“Which old ones?” he asks. “The old ones or the old-old ones?”

“There’s a difference?” she mumbles, looking over to Janis with an expression that says, ‘help me’.

“It’s not that important,” Janis tells her. When she sees her dad’s face, she can tell that to him it very much is. As they keep talking, they compare each other’s favourite Disney movies, finding they both have a deep love for Tangled and Frozen, but Maddie’s love for the mouse seems to far outweigh Janis as she lists off her favourite Princesses, which one she thinks she’s most like, which one she thinks Janis is most like (“you give off kind of an Elsa-Belle vibe” she tells her, which Janis is more than happy with). She also enthusiastically tells her about her plans to visit Disney World soon and Janis tells her the one in Paris is way better.

“You’ve been to Paris?”

“A few times,” she replies, nodding towards her dad. “You probably can’t tell, but he’s French. I have a whole army of cousins out there. You seen the Hunchback of Notre Dame?”

“Of course.”

“I’ve seen Notre Dame. Before it caught fire, obviously.” She blesses herself and presses a quick kiss to her fingertips. “May she RIP in peace.”

“Cool,” Maddie says. “The coolest vacation I had before this was New York.”

“Oh, I love New York,” Janis nods. “My aunt lives out there. Ever seen Broadway?”

“Yeah, we saw Lion King!” she replies. “I was like nine years old and my dad got them-”

“Janis?” Their conversation is interrupted by her nurse, who hovers in the doorway holding a clipboard and of course, a smile. “Your doctor’s ready for you.”

“Hi Nurse Lucy!” Maddie pipes up, leaning forwards in her chair.

Lucy. That was her name. Really, how could it have been anything else?

“Hi Maddie,” she says warmly, looking at the pair of them. “Making new friends?”

“Apparently, she’s the eyes and ears around here,” Janis says as she gets up. She turns back to Maddie, giving a quick wave. “See you around, kid.”

“Bye Janis.”

She stretches her legs out and hops as they walk, her body stiff from having folded itself into a chair for that long. She finishes off the rice cake and saves the other one in her pocket for later and is reminded how much she loves these little guys. Low calories (not that she cares about that), covered in chocolate and deliciously delicate. She needs to get back into these bad boys.

She also slips a bit on the floor and realises that she left her boots back with Maddie. She shrugs and makes a mental note to get them later as she steps into her room.

Her eyes land on the IV next to her bed immediately, barely acknowledging Doctor Wiley next to it. All at once, every good feeling she had built up with Maddie, every ounce of comfort and happiness is abruptly and cruelly yanked from her and she’s reminded why she’s actually here. She’s left feeling cold and winded and frozen.

Back there she could almost have tricked herself into believing she was here for a fun little vacation. So much for that.

“Janis.” She hadn’t noticed, but she’s stepped back. Where’s she going? Back to the lounge with Maddie? To the school, where Damian and Cady are? Back home?

Her mom’s hand wraps around hers and the other rubs her shoulder.

“It’s okay baby.”

“No, I know,” she says. “I know.” She forces her feet forwards, over to where the IV is. She feels her sleeves wrapping around her arms and sticking to her skin. Her arm is encased by her hand. “Okay so what’s the drill, doc?”

“Well, we’re planning to have you get a few sessions each day,” he explains. “Between two and four really. Now that we know the type of leukaemia you have and where it’s at, this is the best place to start.”

“Sounds like fun,” she mumbles. She lowers herself on to the bed, her hand still around her arm.

“Unfortunately, it’s going to make you feel pretty bad most days,” he confesses. “But it’s going to kill the leukaemia cells as well.” She nods minutely, passively listening to him explaining the process to both her and her parents. She’s not scared of needles. At all. And she thinks that she shouldn’t be scared of this, since it’s the good thing. So why is her heart pounding so fast?

She takes off her cardigan, exposing the white t-shirt and its skull print and most importantly, her bare arms. Beneath the lights they look almost translucent. At least Nurse Lucy doesn’t have any issue finding the vein. They could be seen on Google maps like blue rivers running through a snowy mountain.

“You ready?” the nurse asks. She’s not and she never will be. But the world won’t wait for her to be ready. Nor will the cancer in her body. She twists one of the rings on her hand, a little plastic thing Cady won in an arcade game. Her fearless girl. Wouldn’t Cady want her to be fearless too?

It takes a while, but the words “I’m ready” fall from her lips and the needle goes into her vein.

“You probably know all about the sound effects by now,” Lucy explains. “Might make you a little tired, might make you feel nauseous. Or it could go the other way and make you feel stronger than normal.”

“I hope it’s the other one,” she remarks as tape is secured over her arm. “I want superpowers.”

“Wouldn’t it be lovely if it worked that way?” she replies as she straightens up. “Okay. This is going to take around two hours to-”

“Two hours?” she echoes in disbelief. She looks up at the little bag at the top of her IV. There’s no way there’s two hours’ worth of medicine in there.

“Afraid so,” she says sympathetically, patting Janis’ shoulder.

“What am I meant to do for the next two hours?”

“There’s a TV,” the nurse reminds her. “Normally we’d let you do this in the lounge, but since it’s your first go we want to monitor you.”

“Consider me monitored,” she replies dryly, sneaking a glance up at the bag. Absolutely no change.

“You’ve got your TV in here,” her nurse reminds her. “And I’m sure there’s loads of gadgets in your bag to keep you occupied while you wait.” She turns more to her parents than to Janis, no doubt trying to ease their worries. “I’ve got a sixteen year old. She’s never off that phone.”

She leaves with the instruction that Janis keep hydrated throughout and a promise to call back in later. Her mom turns on the TV and flicks through channels even though it doesn’t have half the channels it does at home. She settles on some cute home renovation show that should normally get her creative buzz going and lead to hours on Pinterest, but instead she only half pays attention to it, the rest of her mind jumping from the IV above her head to the flowers she’s doodling in her sketchbook to her still-off phone that sits coldly in her lap.

“How’s everyone in school?” her dad asks, likely aware of what he’s doing. She taps her fingers on the screen as though it were on and takes a swing of water.

“I’m sure they’re all fine,” she says, adding another flower to her doodle. “Damian can keep me updated with the tea tonight.”

Janis never thought she’d miss school. Even disregarding the ugly history that’s followed her around the halls, she just never grew attached to it. She’d rolled her eyes at people who told her she’d cry on her last day and swore up and down to Damian, and later Cady, that they’d be the only things she’s miss. It wasn’t like she was counting down the days to graduation, but at the same time, she wasn’t going to lose any sleep over moving on.

But now North Shore is the only place she wants to be. For the first time she wishes she were in physics writing about gravity and mass or in history learning the severely edited version of the Civil War. She’d take the cafeteria food and its health violations over corner store rice cakes any day and at least at school there’s a change of scenery every forty minutes or so. And more than anything, she misses her friends. Going this long without Damian’s warm hearted words of wisdom or Cady’s soft spoken support has been physically painful, but she’s even found herself missing Karen and Gretchen too. Who knows, maybe if this year was going normally, they’d have even become friends. She could never imagine not being in North Shore would hurt as much as it does, but here she is, sitting in near-silence with a deep, harrowing ache in her chest that’s not from the cancer nor the medicine. Like a lot of stuff she’s come across today, it’s something she’ll have to get used it.

Even with that agony it takes almost an hour for her to work up the courage to open her phone, just as the medicine is beginning to cloud her head. She presses the screen into the bed until the buzzing and pinging and ringing stop, the corner of her mouth twitching up. She’s never been so popular.

On Facebook and in all her DMs are messages from people from every cafeteria table; the band geeks, the debate team, the dance team and both sets of jocks all send her good wishes. The messages range from the stilted and awkward to the over-emotional; some offer her two to three lines hoping she’s okay and some give her miniature essays telling her how horrible it yes (tell me something I don’t know she thinks) and how brave she is and if she needs anything, anything at all, they’re here for her. Even the Christian believers have sent her little prayers, despite the clashes she’s had with them over the years. She guesses she appreciates it, despite what her inner atheist-slash-witch thinks. Isn’t it nice to have people thinking of you?

When she goes back to her feed, her face is the first thing she sees. Not her own post and not one of her friend’s either, but one put up by the North Shore account. It’s her standing in the art room holding the prize she got from the art expo, grinning at the camera so proudly you wouldn’t guess she’d just fought with someone the night before.

‘Shout out to our brave student Janis Sarkisian, who is battling leukaemia this year. Janis is a bright star in our art program and co-founder of our new LGBT+ society. The North Shore Lions are roaring with you every step of the way, Janis!!’

Well that’s almost sweet, she thinks. Even if the idea of lions roaring at her is a little off-putting. What’s even more off-putting is the comments on it, all sobbing about how awful it is for her, people she’s never met preaching about how brave she is and how they know she’ll fight like hell. Even though she’s alone in this room, she feels hundreds of eyes on her, none of them familiar, and the attention makes her squirm.

Biting her nail, she clicks out of Instagram and takes in a breath before checking her texts instead. She hopes to find some sanity and order in there and she almost does… until she finds a text from someone. The contact isn’t saved in her phone, but she knows who it is, and it sparks fury and disgust in her gut.

“Hey Janis. Hope you’re doing okay. We all got told about it in school. We’re all thinking of you. -Regina xx.”

“Seriously?” Janis sighs, not realising she’s spoken out loud.

“Seriously what?” her mom asks with poorly masked concern. Her cheeks grow warm as she shows her mom the text and an uncertain look spreads across her mother’s face.

“Well that’s nice, isn’t it?” she says. Asks, more like.

“Not at all.” Regina George isn’t nice, ever. “And does she need to sign off her texts like that. This isn’t Gossip Girl.”

Thankfully, there are texts rom Cady and Damian to restore balance to the universe. At some point last night, she and Damian stopped using words and started using GIFs. The last thing in their chat is her sending him one of two kittens cuddling, obviously meant to be them. And after she fell asleep, Cad had texted her a sweet good night she managed to miss. Followed by a voice message, one that’s earnest and quiet and sent at 2:31am. She pops her headphones in, a myriad of emotions stirring in her foggy brain, and presses play.

“Hey. It’s me. Of course it’s me who else would it be? I just um…. This is scary. I don’t know why I’m telling you that, you know. You know more than anyone. Anyway I just wanted to let you know that I’m not going anywhere. I meant it. And whenever you get scared or it gets intense… just call me. Or text me. Or even think of me, okay? Just think of me. I miss you. A lot. I know I saw you today but I miss you. I… you mean a lot to me, Janis. And I know you’re going to kick this thing’s butt. I know you will and I hope you know that you know you will. I also really hope you’re asleep right now instead of listening to this because if you’re not asleep I’m coming over there. I wish I could come over there. I wish I could come with you… Okay, okay, I’m getting too sappy here, so I’m going to go to sleep now. Bye, Janis. I’ll see you as soon as I can.”

Janis lets out something that’s halfway between a laugh and a sob. It reflects what’s going on in her head perfectly; all those bubbling and complex feelings boiled down to ‘half happy, half sad’. She’s fairly confident that’s the way she’ll go on for the next few weeks, and some days will have more sad than others. And she bets that the happiness is going to be harder to come by and harder to fight for on those days. So she makes a start. She sends Cady a quick ‘lol that’s gay’ message, followed up by a thank you and a little gay message of her own. Then she replays the message and feels the smile on her face grow a bit wider each time she does.

#cadnis #cady x janis #janis sarkisian #cady heron #mean girls fanfic #mean girls broadway #mean girls the musical

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booasaur · 5 years

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Update: I'm halfway thru s5 and I'm really really dreading the end Bc I'm not ready for the show to be over! Tbh s4 & start of 5 are bleeding together Bc I watched too many in a row & then took a break. I think s3 was most interesting altogether, I've found myself losing focus in parts of 4&5. Some of the stuff seems more disjointed/unnecessary than I'd expect from a show that needs to wrap up. But there are so many moments that have given me ALL the feels. S4 was so much angsty pining!! (1/?)

Delle seyah and aneela love each other so much and s4 was so painful even tho aneela hardly appeared. Gotta say those eps without Dutch dragged a bit tho, but the Delle seyah kept me going during them lol. Omfggg all the feels from Delle seyah’s priority of finding aneela above all else, followed by protecting Jaq & searching for aneela above all else. I love them. Side note: HJK’s smile and face and eyes are so GOOD I’m so gay send help. She’s a delight. Also I got feels from Lucy dying (2/3)

I haven’t had so many feels about an AI since s4 of poi. Also ALL the family feels for Delle seyah/Jaq when she says “never claim what you may lose” and when she told Jaq that she wouldn’t be ok if she lost him and she’s his mother and all her speeches in that ep. Then the ENDING WHEN ANEELA STEPS OUT AND SHE FALLS TO HER KNEES AND ANEELA CANT TAKE HER EYES OFF DELLE SEYAH. OOOF. So good. You’re totally right that watching characters learn to care makes them so appealing, like Root, who’s a fave

Yeah, I think this is really a show that shouldn’t be binged. Not even one season at a time, you know? How some shows thrive by being released on a weekly basis? This one needed that wait. But yes, absolutely, looking back, s3 was probably the highlight, and then personally, even without Dutch, I loved the first eps of s4 and the last. s5 was where it lost the most focus for me, for me s3 and s4 went well together, but s5 was very stop-start.

The s4 pining was AMAZING. It made it so worth the watch even with Aneela barely in it. I’ve said it again and again, KJ was a masterclass in how to make you care for a really terrible person while barely showing her. And I’m just still so impressed how they were never changed or punished in the way we usually see, their growth got to be on their terms, they cared about just a few more people than before and it turned out to be enough. Although, although, Delle Seyah has always been an actual leader. She’s power hungry and ambitious but she has an actual idea of what to do while in charge.

That s5 ep was so good! Delle Seyah and Jaq and their odd little relationship, I was actually super happy to see him being a brat to her. It gave them something to work through and made them both...just a normal parent-child relationship. When characters are given that kind of conflict, it’s to develop them and their dynamic. Which it did, in her way, we got Delle Seyah’s speech to show how much he mattered to her. BUT THEN YES THE ENDING OF THAT EP. Like, we waited that long for them to meet again and it absoLUTELY paid off. I could never have imagined that’s how they’d do it, but like, how else would they actually have, but it was the execution, how like, utterly romantic they made it, and the way, as you said, they couldn’t stop looking at each other and Delle Seyah just falling to her knees! Miss Queens Rise Never Gonna Bow My Head It Messes with the Crown Royalty just sinking to her knees. And the fact that it was out of emotion? *chef’s kiss* Yes, yes, watching Root’s journey with Shaw was kinda similar, yeah, that’s a great point. And Regina and Henry. Seeing people care about others, that is the most effective way to have them appeal to your audience.

Aw, yes, Lucy! She was such a presence, honestly, the third member of Team Awesome Force, before D’av. She was there from the very start, calling Johnny out for being a thief. The series cheated a bit, killing her off for the emotional payoff and then bringing her back, but I will 100% take it.

HJK did so well, Aneela was consistently so different from Dutch, so appealing and intelligent in an entirely different way. Dutch was warmth and humor and compassion, Aneela was just this cold volatile intelligence and then softening for just her chosen people, but never did the two ever overlap. And she’s hot as hell, lol, I can’t deny that, lol. I’m just really grateful that we got this series with her, the perfect writing and timing and tone, and now hopefully she’ll move on to huge things.

#replies #femslash related stuff #sent on 20191018 #Anonymous #5 #killjoys #aneela x delle seyah

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shadowdianne · 5 years

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SQ Drabble (Yes, another one)

Asked by @siakb because apparently is angst weekend.

Could I request some Neverland related angst please?

PS. This turned out to be more plotty than intended rather than outright angst. I apologize. Seems like the muse wanted some work on some stuff.

Set on: 3x02 “Lost girl” Just a scene at the end of the episode, before Emma shows the rest of the group the restored map.

“I know, I led us to a trap, you don’t need to come here to gloat.”

Leaning on a tree, eyes zeroing on the darkness that surrounded the small camp they had made through the night Regina barely glanced away from the trees that stood in front of her, one hand extended, palm up and fingers toying with purple-colored smoke that rose in the air, licking her skin like flames would. She could feel Emma’s presence at her right, just a little bit behind and she wondered momentarily when she had gotten so attuned to the blonde’s magic essence for her to be able to sense it amidst the strong magic signature the very same soil they were all standing in emanated. A thought that made her purse her lips as she kept her eyes straight ahead, not trusting a leaf or a shadow that came closer than the rest to the small clearing they all were in.

She could hear some noise, as if the blonde was fidgeting with the damned piece of paper that that demon as the pirate liked to call him had given to her. Jaw clenching, Regina squared her shoulders, waiting for the blonde’s angry words to reach her. Words that, she thought with something close to a crocked smile tensing her lips, wouldn’t cause her any pain or repent. She had already been beating herself.

Think, always think, always wait, always search for hidden meanings, for the fine print. That had been a lesson both mother and Rumplestiskin had been adamant to teach her and yet she kept on falling from it. She had gotten rusty; complacent. Magic always came with a price and her hubris had almost gotten them killed. Which, in turn, would made Henry be a prisoner for the kid she so desperately wanted to kill.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of footsteps coming closer, Emma’s presence growing nearer. Bothered and tired, she looked at her with what she hoped would be enough heat for the blonde to understand she wasn’t feeling like having a lecture for someone like her. Not when she still felt her body sore and tired, the burns on her temples and wrists concealed by a glamour spell but still there, itching, reminding her of how she had almost died, of how she had almost lost herself with electricity running through her every cell.

She blinked, however, when, instead of angry eyes, Emma merely crossed her left arm over her midriff before presenting her with the map. Map that, she discovered when she allowed her eyes to travel lower, was filled as if it had never been blank.

“How…” She began but stopped herself. She didn’t have the time for this. Not when they were a step closer to find Henry. However, Emma didn’t seem to share that same urgency, a half shrug from her shoulders and a wandering gaze telling her more than enough.

“The answer was “orphan.” The blonde finally spoke, her voice grave and somber. Her eyes, however, were gleaming with anger and Regina latched onto it, on the rawness she could sense there. Dropping her free hand, the blonde turned it into a fist, knuckles white and just the barest of sparks filling the air between them. Not enough, Regina thought absentmindedly, to truly make Emma’s power be seen by others who lacked proper magic training but the signature of it heady enough for her own magic bubble within her chest.

Strange, she thought, but her musings were interrupted once more as Emma let out a breathless laugh, one that almost sounded like a wheeze as she turned to eye the forest around them, face obscured by the darkness that surrounded them, the machete she wore a morbid silhouette peeking just above her left shoulder. “Of all the things. That was the answer.”

Regina didn’t have time for self-realizations or discoveries. She didn’t have the time to trudge through years of unspoken feelings. Her most urgent problem was finding Henry. Safe and sound.

Yet, when she kept eyeing Emma, she felt the control of the hex she had been keeping lit on her hand dropping momentarily, her left hand going instantly to the ring she had recently put on her finger once more, playing with the cold touch in a way she knew would have made mother seethe as a girl.

“Well.” She finally said, and Emma’s eyes returned to hers, her cheekbones unnaturally highlighted under the moonlight shadow that gave everything a silver hue Regina hadn’t liked one bit ever since night had fallen. “I’m glad you found the answer.”

Lips pressed together, Emma shrugged, her body-posture telling enough as she seemed to be a moment away from walking back to the center of the clearing, towards the bonfire Regina herself had created. Which, Regina found, was something she suddenly didn’t want.

“Wait.” She called, just as Emma’s arms twitched, muscles rippling behind her skin. Licking her lips quickly, Regina dropped her hands to her sides, fingers grasping for air, calling her magic once more in the middle of the jungle. “You really think what you said back at the shore?” At Emma’s confused glare Regina rolled her own eyes. Why she was even bothering was beyond her. The blonde had caught her by surprise, had said what she had needed to say. That was all.

And yet, she hadn’t been able to shake the feeling of awe and confusion that had been feeding on her ever since Emma had looked at her with enough heat for her own magic to sizzle and, for a moment, what she had said in anger and self-righteousness had transformed into something that had called upon her power, upon a sudden, stupid need to prove herself.

“About not expecting us to be friends?” She could see the confusion there, on Emma’s expression and, for a second, she thought the blonde was merely going to ignore it. Instead, the blonde rose her chin, her hair framing sudden stone-like features that made Regina school her own. Behind Emma she could see both David and Snow eyeing them, not close enough to even be able to hear them but curious, worried. She set her jaw as tightly as possible, not wanting to give them any satisfaction.

“Yes.” She replied, and she could see Emma’s shoulders lock in place, muscles bulging for a moment before the blonde relaxed her stance a fraction. Enough for Regina to see it, enough for her magic to sense it.

The blonde’s power was so close to the surface, she thought a moment after, that she could almost taste it. And she feared for a moment on what that ability made her be. Just like Rumple had been able to feel her powers, just like her mother had pushed and prodded and waited.

Shaking her head, she re-focused herself just as Emma hummed, folding the piece of paper and putting it away with quick, brusque movements.

“I know you want to be only Regina.” She finally spoke, and her voice hold a strange gentleness that made Regina’s skin prickle. “I know that you were ready to give your life for ours.” Regina didn’t correct her, but she could feel the beginning of a “no” forming on her throat. One that Emma’s eyes narrowed at, seemingly capable of sensing it even she hadn’t moved a muscle. “I also know that we were stronger together. Both of us. So, I don’t care if we are friends or not. But if we want to find Henry we need to work like that. No matter our past stories.”

“So, you now believe on those?” The question came tumbling down her lips and Regina winced inwardly at it, at how much it hurt in a way seeing that Emma, the woman who had said once she didn’t think her past deeds truly weighed her down on Storybrooke, referred to her as a character. As yet another character in a book she hadn’t had the chance to write for herself. Not the beginning at least.

“That’s not important.” The blonde said, finally turning and calling the others before turning to glance at Regina over her shoulder. “Or is it, Regina?”

Regina said nothing, furiously taking the ring off her ring, pushing it inside one of the pockets of her blazer once again. But it was important, a voice inside her head whispered. It was much more important than she had let the woman in front of her know.

And it was that moment that, in hindsight, built everything else. Not that she knew it in that moment, not when she followed Emma towards the center of the clearing.

#swan queen #SwanQueen #prompt #siakb #prerelationship

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freifraufischer · 6 years

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I don't understand why these people hate Lana so much. Is it because Regina got bigger and more important than their favorites? Is it because her acting was always a highlight in reviews of the show? Is it because they have nothing else to do but poison themselves while trying to kill the excitement we all have for her next project? Really, I have no words to describe these folks other than: envious. There's no other explanation to me.

All of the above and add some of them are racist and some of them are angry that she acknowledged queer fans and some of them are angry that she didn’t reject other fans in favor of the ones who were fetishizing her.

#Anonymous

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scribbles-by-kate · 6 years

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Series rewatch thoughts - 1.11 “Fruit of the Poisonous Tree”

This episode really highlights the obsession Emma has with seeing Regina as the bad guy. She may not believe in the curse, but she does believe that Regina is evil, with very little proof, really, or, what proof she thinks she has, she wants to believe is worse than it really is, which is what gets her into trouble in this episode.

I totally sided with Regina in terms of Emma not caring about Henry’s safety: just wanting a way to get around her. Emma is putting her feud with Regina above Henry right now, and it really shows. Of course, I don’t like that Regina used Sidney to double cross Emma (and, in hindsight, it’s so obvious that that’s what they were doing), or that she used his feelings for her against him in order to get him on side, but she was right as regards Henry, and she knew that Emma would want to get her so badly that she’d trip herself up trying to prove corruption where there was none.

I do have to wonder now if Sidney has always been awake under the curse. I can’t remember if we ever got anything to corroborate that he was, but the way he says he once saw Regina as a very different person suggests he might have been awake the whole time, and remembered that he was once the genie. And I have to say that Giancarlo Esposito does both drunk and jaded very well.

I’ve read suggestions that Regina is a bad actress, but, honestly, I’m not sure I agree. She certainly comes across well enough as the trapped wife in the flashback portion to get the genie to do her bidding. We learn that she took advantage of the situation to plot Leopold’s murder, but she certainly convinced the genie initially. It is interesting to see how she’s not quite the Evil Queen yet in these scenes. The Evil Queen is a persona she puts on, that she consciously adopts: it’s not natural to her yet. And I think you see that when she was going to let the genie go.

Now, I do believe that Regina was trapped. I do believe that she felt the lack of love from Leopold. She didn’t love him, I know, but she might have learned to if he had viewed her as something other than a trophy to possess. He wanted her heart, but wouldn’t give her his. She must have been absolutely miserable. We don’t know exactly what their marriage was like, but we can guess. If Leopold stooped so low as to read her diary, and then locked her in her rooms and wouldn’t let her see her father, he must have controlled everything she did. She had no power, no affection. It must have been a very lonely life for her. She must have been frightened and felt trapped. Of course she’d take what opportunity she could to free herself. I don’t think anyone could blame her.

It’s interesting seeing the face that Leopold presents to his people of this kind, caring king, who wants happiness for his people and loves his daughter, and the Leopold Regina must have known, the husband who controlled everything she did, who isolated her and didn’t show her any affection. Also, Leopold’s behaviour with Snow is very inappropriate. It reminds me a lot of the king in the fairy tale “Donkeyskin”, who wants to marry his daughter because she’s as beautiful as her mother. Of course, we know that Leopold was in love with Cora and then married her daughter, so the parallel is apt. He’s so much more creepy now that we know everything.

I’m struck by Henry Senior’s love for his daughter. I think he’d do anything for her. I suspect that if he could’ve gotten in to see Regina, he would have offered to use the vipers on the king. I actually wonder how much of all this Regina and her father were able to plan together before she was locked away. It seems like it could have been planned. That means, then, that Henry was willing to go along with murder for Regina’s sake. I think he could only have been brought to go along with something like that if Regina’s life truly was horrible, and it really was the only way to free her.

We only see a little of Rumple in this episode, but I think he knew that Sidney was playing Emma. Just that line about emotional entanglements leading down dangerous paths. And he was so smug, but then what else is new?

Another interesting theme this episode raises is the consequences of doing a bad thing for a good reason. This is something that we see again many times, often in relation to Rumple and Regina, and it connects to the ‘all magic comes with a price’ rule as well. We see Emma struggle between doing things by the book and doing them Sidney’s way, and we know she has a history of doing not quite the right thing. I think that bad thing for the right reason approach is something that can work sometimes, but not others. If the bad thing for the right reason is something that benefits you, there’s an element of selfishness in that that gets you punished, but, if the bad thing for the right reason is to protect someone else, or for someone else in some way, then it really can be the right thing. I think Rumple’s actions often prove that. He might be doing the wrong thing for the right reason, but if it benefits him, it’s still selfish; therefore wrong, but, if he’s doing it for someone else and he doesn’t benefit, even suffers for it, then it really is a good thing.

I think wrong thing, right reason definitely applies to David and Mary Margaret as well, but they’re being selfish, so… Yeah, that can’t end well…

#1.11 fruit of the poisonous tree #ouat full series rewatch #watching fairytales

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lizzybeth1986 · 7 years

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“I’ve never met a problem a proper cupcake couldn’t fix” - Bittersweet, by Sarah Okler.

Hana’s connection with food has been a constant since Book 1. She is the first to comment on how delicious the cronuts are (and the only one to describe how they taste in detail). She proves herself an excellent baker at Applewood. She drowns her sorrows in comfort food and champagne when she recieves the news that she is to leave Cordonia immediately. Her (supposed) last tryst with the MC takes places while they have armfuls of dessert. Her first act of solidarity for the MC in Book 2 is to prepare hot chocolate for her, and her activity for Madeleine’s bachelorette is a chocolate fondue party.

As you can see, Hana is constant associated with desserts and sweet treats. Not only because she is, as the MC claims, “too sweet to be anything else”, but because the best desserts are those that have layers of flavour that go beyond merely sweet: sour, spiced, lightly salted. Ever heard of salted caramel? Chili chocolate truffles? Orange zest in a fruit pie? The contrasting flavours offset the sweetness to create an explosive dessert. So though Hana is sweet, there is so much to her left to be explored. We must remember that, above everything, Hana’s main character arc involves discovering who she is and what she wants. And that’s exactly what the MC aims to do. Using dessert.

On A Mission

As I have mentioned in previous essays, there are a number of sequences (Cordonian Waltz, Moonflower) that involve a heavy dose of both helping the MC out in achieving a goal and background information on Hana. Here, the MC and Hana, on learning that the former queen Regina was disappointed at the lack of religieuse at the tea party, figure that having one in hand could give the MC an edge in her mission. Hana, who has been to Paris often enough to understand where they can get the best pastry, is the perfect person to help the MC out.

Lavander Macarons

Besides being perfect for their mission, the pattiserie that Hana chooses is important for its nostalgic value as well. She shares memories of happier times with her mother, shopping in Paris, relaxing, learning to make baked goods so fluffy and delicious they would - as her mother out it - “win a man’s heart”. This shows us a glimpse of Hana’s childhood, and gives us an alternative glimpse of what her family is like when they aren’t pressuring her into being the perfect wife and hostess.

This part of the sequence is also important because it touches on the root of Hana’s confusions. We know that Hana is at a crossroads in her life, that she isn’t sure about what she wants. But up until this point we weren’t always sure about what she had expected her life to look like before the MC came along and changed everything.

Hana tells us that she had always imagined being happy in a life of cosy domesticity. It seemed simpler: her world would revolve around this one person, and her energies would be focused on making them happy than on delving into more complicated, frightening questions about herself.

The MC, however, having being brought up in a completely different environment, finds this disturbing.

Part of this is because this is the only life Hana has seen happen around her, and if it has made people around her happy, how would she be any different? That is why her coming to Cordonia involves such a change. Not because of the country itself - it is, after all, a society that operates on similar principles - but because of her involvement with the MC.

The Suitors

Because Rashad and Neville have already set their sights on wooing Hana, the MC doesn’t get to see them the way Hana does. The MC is, after all, outside of the social juggling game that the other nobles and ladies-in-waiting have to play, and therefore has no obligation towards getting a suitor the way Penelope, Kiara and Hana are. On the outset we don’t get very clear ideas of Rashad and Neville as people, but Hana - as someone who is compelled to choose someone if she has to solidify her already-tenuous position in Madeleine’s court - has to deal with them on a more regular basis.

Hana tells us that Rashad shows more involvement in his work with Sloan Enterprises than in either the court or in her (is it just me, or is Rashad repeating the mistakes that drove away his first fiancee, as he described in RoE Book 2?), and that Neville is self-absorbed and doesn’t seem to have any concern for the woman he should be spending his life with.

These are things that may not have bothered Hana earlier. But having experienced love, and (if she is the MC’s LI) having learned what it is like to have some who truly cares about you by your side, Hana has now grown to expect more out of her relationships. The major question that remains for her, however, is who she is, and what she wants from her life.

“I Want You”

What amazes me about this sequence is that Hana’s admission of her need for the MC is part of her default dialogue. Whether or not the MC chooses Hana as her LI, the truth stands that she is the sole reason Hana is here, and that Hana’s desire for her is a very tangible, very real thing - something that doesn’t disappear if the MC doesn’t return those feelings.

It is further complicated by her need to still do right by her parents, who do not understand her but cannot imagine their lives without her either. Whatever steps she can take at this point are baby steps, because she still cannot truly imagine a future that doesn’t involve them, nor can her parents truly imagine a future where the rules they have learned to live by do not apply.

Personality Test

The highlight of this sequence is the MC’s “personality test”, where she presents Hana three pastries and asks her to describe them, based on which the MC will highlight what aspect of Hana’s personality her response shows.

Hana’s experience in baking allows her to pick up on subtleties in what she tastes, and she clearly shows her knowledge in the way she describes each dessert given to her (“fluffy and indulgent” for the religieuse, “light and delicate” for the macarons and “classic, rich comfort food” for the chocolate cake). This also makes the MC’s job easier, because it allows her to develop a clearer idea of personality traits that the dessert could possibly reflect. The fact that Hana likes aspects of all the desserts tells us something very important about her journey at present: that her life could go in a million different directions, each more exciting than the last, and there will come a day when the myriad complexities in Hana’s personality will no longer confuse, but excite her instead. She is right about finding something good in all the desserts, because we find aspects of all these personality traits scattered throughout the books:

Religieuse

The MC classifies this dessert as a “girly girl’s dessert”, prim and proper and well-fitted for high society. Hana has been taught to be the perfect hostess and the perfect courtier, and this has been her life long enough for her to find comfort in it. At the Derby in Book 1, Hana speaks of enjoying tea parties alone with imaginary friends. Her dance moves (especially during the Finale dance-off) epitomizes grace, in clear contrast to Maxwell’s fierce energy. She still struggles with more rugged work (as shown at the barn raising) even though she does enjoy it, because she is not used to doing such things. She has learned to be artfully clumsy, because it makes men protective of her (as her mother had stated once. The choking incident at the tea party is one such occurance, where Neville and Rashad immediately come to her aid). While they are things that have been taught and instilled in her, delicacy and feminine grace have grown to be a part of who she is now.

Macarons

While described as “light and delicate”, Hana also makes an interesting observation about the variety of flavours in the macarons, thereby highlighting her interest in new things. We see this manifested in different ways in the books. At the American bar, she seems reluctant to try freestyle dancing at first, but shimmies like nobody’s business moments later. She researches dance styles for the dance-off with Maxwell, and watches The Bachelorette in preparation for her part in Madeleine’s bachelorette celebrations. At the barn raising, she is a quick study in learning how to use a hammer, and in the camping trip this chapter, she declines taking Liam’s help in favour of figuring out how to build the tent herself. Hana, whose life has been structured and planned for a long time, now embraces these little things as adventures she can learn from.

Chocolate Cake

The cake is simple and homey, but Hana points out that it also has hidden depths that many do not always notice at first taste. Much of Hana’s background, her motivations, her confusions, lie in what she tells us in many of her background diamond scenes. Without these, she seems little more than a shy young woman who is still learning her place in the world. It’s only when our MC gets closer to her that we see her conflicts and desires beyond her parents’ expectations. This ties in perfectly with her description of the cake as “rich” and “layered”. At the same time, it also allows us to reflect on Hana’s role as a nurturer to those she cares for: passing on wisdom and simple home truths to people who need it (on multiple occasions to the MC, and occasionally in Book 2 to Penelope). Hana is at heart also a person who loves to look after those she cares for, and to pamper them as best she can.

Hana’s future has clear potential, and there are a million directions her life can go. But the fact remains that she is also someone who doubts herself and her abilities, and doesn’t know if she is capable of making an identity independent of her parents.

In the end, she leaves us with a very poignant, very penetrating question:

#the royal romance #trr hana #hana x mc #hana lee #hana: diamond scenes #patisserie scene #paris #religieuse #macarons #chocolate cake #dessert #sweets #french bakery

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elanorjane · 6 years

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Picture of Beauty (Ch 2/?)

Summary: Fashion house Jefferson-Mills needs inspiration. Photographer Gold believes a librarian he photographed by accident has what it takes. Now it's up to Gold to turn Belle into a model worthy of Paris Fashion Week. Based on the movie Funny Face. Rating: This chapter PG-13 A/N: Unbeta'd. I have no idea whether someone had already written a Rumbelle Funny Face, I was too afraid to look.

AO3

Regina leaned her head against the window, reading the sign as they were passing, "Storybrooke," she announced to the others in the car. A second car, carrying her workmen and equipment followed. The cars drifted down Main Street, passing a dozen independently owned shops with names like Granny's and Game of Thorns and Storybrooke Coffee. She wouldn't be finding her triple venti soy no foam latte here. "Quaint," she intoned. "Do these people even know how to read?"

The car slowed in front of a tan building in the center of town, below an enormous clock tower, with a simple white and beige Storybrooke Free Public Library sign. "Looks dismal enough,” she lamented. “Let's get this over with." Regina, Jefferson, Gold, and the model from the previous disastrous shoot, who hadn’t looked up from her phone the entire drive, exited the first town car; the workmen carrying the cameras, laptops and the lighting equipment piled out the second.

Regina made a show of stretching her limbs while Gold shook out the creases in his suit. Jefferson turned in a circle, taking in the 360 view. “This. Is. Adorable,” he proclaimed. He marched toward the double doors of the library and opened them with a flourish. An unmanned mahogany circulation desk greeted them. High shelves were filled to bursting with spines of all colors. Even at a distance you could see that most of them were frayed at the edges. The light streaming in the windows highlighted the dust particles in the air.

Gold strolled past them and into the stacks. It was an old but very well loved collection. He could appreciate that as a collector of old things himself. As a space, there were plenty of windows along the front of the building, but the the deeper you got, the darker it became. "There's not enough light," he called behind him, shoving a book ladder out of his way. A cry rang out from above and Gold found himself with an armful of the bluest eyes he’d ever seen. Stunned, he looked up to the top of the ladder he had tipped her from. The books she’d been shelving were in disarray. He glanced back down at the woman in his arms, blinking at her stupidly. Her dark auburn curls were pulled back from her face. Her left arm was wrapped around his shoulder and he could feel her thumb brushing the back of his neck. Those eyes, made all the more startling by the blue apron she wore, studied his face. Her rose red lips parted.

"Thank you," she breathed. His arms tightened around her, drawing her face imperceptibly closer to his. Her gaze dropped to the ground, and Gold noted her long lashes fluttering against her soft looking skin, before comprehension finally dawned on him. The surprise of finding her in his arms was only dwarfed by the shock that he was still holding her long after it was appropriate. He released her abruptly, forcing her to clutch at him momentarily in order to keep herself upright. Even through several layers of clothing he felt the loss of her warm body. She righted herself on her heels, “Thank you,” she repeated.

He took a large step back, a hand genticulating in an awkward wave before he realized what the hell he was doing and dropped it at his side, pretending to straighten his cuffs, “It’s no matter,” he insisted cooly. Someone cleared their throat behind them, a deafening sound in the empty stacks. Gold spun around to find Jefferson, flocked by the rest of the crew, watching them. The girl blushed prettily and put a well practiced but sincere smile on her face, "May I help you?"

Regina emerged from the crowd, pausing to look the woman up and down, "We have everything we need,” she dismissed. “We’re just going to take a few pictures."

The librarian’s brows furrowed, “Pictures?"

Regina turned on her heels, sweeping her arms across the room like a model on a game show, "We’re going to use your little library as the background in a few pictures for Jefferson's lookbook," she announced this like the great honor is was.

But obviously meant nothing to the young woman, "Lookbook?"

Regina ignored her question. She’d already banished the book girl from her mind and was now in complete art director mode. “The gown is green and there’s too many red books here. I don’t need it looking like Christmas, this is a spring collection. Get them out of here." The workmen sprang into action, scurrying in seven different directions and yanking anything with a scarlet, wine or berry shade off the shelves and tossing them in piles on the tables or floor.

The echo of volumes hitting the ground woke the librarian out of her momentary stupor, "Hey, hey, hey! Hey, stop! Stop it! No, no don’t do that! You mustn’t mix them up! They’re in Dewey Decimal!” She scrambled after Doc in one direction, “All the books on that shelf are Language.” She was distracted by Walter clearing an entire shelf, “Those are Philosophy and Psychology. Put them back!" She looked pleadingly at Leroy rushing by with a pile of books balanced under his chin, "Please talk to her, it’ll take me hours to put these put back in order."

He shook his head, "Sister, you don't talk to Regina Mills, you only listen."

Gold took the opportunity the chaos provided to melt into the background and observe, where he preferred to be. He collared one of the men and put him to work setting up the lighting equipment while he went about unpacking his camera. He was here to do the job he was being paid to do and nothing else. He couldn’t concern himself with pretty little librarians and their blue eyes and their books.

Said librarian, meanwhile, had given up on the men dismantling her library and was displaying her foolish bravery by marching right up to their leader, “You can’t do this!”

Regina glowered down at her, “Don’t my tax dollars pay your salary?”

Jefferson, sensing an impending blowup, snatched the librarian’s hand, pulling her into the frame, "I think we should use her in the shot."

“What?” both women exclaimed.

"She's dressed like a milkmaid," Regina bemoaned.

Jefferson, not to be deterred, dragged the woman over to where the model stood, still on her phone. He plucked a hardback from one of the heaps on his way, “Here, you’re selling a book to her.”

Belle stared at him, “I don’t sell books, it’s a library.”

“Sush, now tell our girl here all about the book so we can get out of here,” he jerked his head at Regina.

The librarian reluctantly took the book he shoved at her. The faster she could get this woman and her crew out of her library the better. She peered down at the title. Unbeknownst to him, he’d chosen her favorite. She smiled to herself but then she heard the camera click and, startled, she jumped and looks directly at the man who had caught her. His face was now hidden behind the camera lens.

“Ignore the camera, sweetie.” It was Regina. “Just act natural.”

The librarian ignored her condescending tone and focused on the book in front of her. She took a deep breath, “This is a tale about compassion and forgiveness and a hero named Gideon.” She forgot about the shutter clicks. “Many people think it’s a cheap romance, but it’s not. There’s this one line I love: ‘But Gideon was unafraid. He drew his sword and turned to face the evil Sorcerer, ready to save the people he loved.’ Isn’t that wonderful?”

Regina leaned over Gold, “How are they coming out?” she murmured. He was periodically examining the shots popping up on the laptop beside him. He nodded in the affirmative. “Great,” Regina clapped, “get her in the next dress!”

The librarian, tracing her finger over the lettering on the cover of her book, jolted, “Next? I thought you were done!”

“Almost,” Regina insisted, coming forward and placing a hand on her back. “Let’s find you someplace more comfortable to watch from,” she escorted her towards the front of the library. “We won’t be but a moment,” and then abruptly shoved her out the door, shouldering the door shut and locking the deadbolt. The librarian stood there, stunned. They'd locked her out of her own library. She rushed up and down the sidewalk, peeking in the windows but all she could see was the glare of the lighting equipment and camera flashes, so she gave up and slumped against the wall.

Thirty minutes later, the door to her library swung open and Regina swept past her, “Thanks, you’ve been a real help,” she called back to her. A dozen people followed in her wake and they began packing their belongings in the cars. The librarian crossed her arms and glared but everyone ignored her. She shuffled back into the library.

She was met with a sea of red books. There were piles on the circulation desk, the reading desks, the floor, and stashed randomly on top of shelves. It was going to take her weeks to get all the books back in order. No matter how many times a patron came in and asked her for “that book with the red cover", this would never do. Footsteps reverberated from the back stacks and the photographer emerged with an armful of novels. He held up one of the tomes, "What shelf for Homer?"

"880's. Just hand them to me." The anger she didn’t get to take out on Regina reemerged. “You should be ashamed of yourself.”

“Me?” instead of handing her the book, he crouched down on the floor and began sorting through a mountain, placing them roughly in order.

She slunk into a wooden chair at the table next to him. “A man of your ability, working for them and taking fashion pictures. It's so...superficial. You could be creating art."

It was an argument he was familiar with. “Some would say fashion is art,” he replied. She narrowed her eyes, doubtful. “Be that as it may, the pay is good and I get a trip to Paris every year."

She softened, “I certainly envy you that. I’ve always wanted to see the world. I'd be in Paris now if I could afford it."

He took a moment to imagine her in Paris. "You would love it. There’s parties every night, everyone swimming in champagne, and love affairs around corner.”

She leaned on a stack of books, gazing into the distance, "If I went to Paris, it would be to go to Café de Flore.”

"Who goes to Paris for coffee?" he scoffed.

She whirled toward him, “It’s not just a cafe! It one of the oldest coffeehouses in Paris!” she defended. “It hosted Jean-Paul Sartre, Simone de Beauvoir, Picasso! It’s a piece of literary and artistic history!” She was about to launch into another diatribe until she saw the smirk he was trying to hide and realized he was teasing her. “Oh,” she said sheepishly.

He felt bad for embarrassing her, but not for making her cheeks pinken. He gestured to the shelves, “Which is your favorite?”

She brightened, “910. Geography and Travel,” she answered immediately. “And the 840's,” she added hastily. “My friend Ruby says I never stop talking about Jules Verne.”

“Why Verne?”

Belle hesitated. This was the point when most people’s eyes glazed over when she started talking about books. But his eyes remained alert and on her and he seemed genuinely interested. “Travel. Adventure. And I love French literature. It's the last name.” He looked confused. "French. My last name is French." He grinned at that.

He rose from floor and regarded her, "Well, Miss French, I hope you get to Paris one day."

Her heart dropped. She hadn’t realize how much she’d enjoyed talking to him. It was nice to have someone to talk to for a change. She loved Storybrooke, but not many people shared her interests in books and culture and most found her enthusiasm for it strange. They didn’t understand why anyone would ever want to cross the town line. She had naively hoped he’d stay and they could keep talking while she shelved books. She would’ve made them tea. For a fleeting moment she thought about asking for his name. Maybe he’d send her a letter from Paris. They could correspond, like 84, Charing Cross Road . But that was a silly, romantic idea so instead she simply said, “Goodbye,” and watched him walk out the door and out of her life.

#rumbelle fanfic #rumbelle #rumbelle fic #picture of beauty

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outlawqueenbey · 7 years

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An Unexpected Arrival - Dark OQ Wedding

You couldn't tell by just looking at her, standing there in complete and utter composure as she fastened the gold bracelet around her wrist, not a fleeting hint of nervousness skittering about the porcelain olive face that stared directly into the vast mirror in front of her. No. To the outside eye, one wouldn't say the once Queen of the Enchanted Forest was at all apprehensive about what was to happen in less than 20 minutes.

But that, being stoned featured to the world while her insides feel like jello in a hurricane is one of her many strengths. Her knees are far to wobbly in the tall gold heels. Palms sweat riddled, fingers shaking so terribly the damn clasp won't fasten though she's been at it for the past three minutes. No. To everyone else, Regina Mills looks like a woman of calm and serenity, but she is terrified.

Not in a way of fearing for her life, or that of a loved one being taken away type fear. It's an internal boiling of butterflies over a cauldron of self doubt and disbelief that no one can see. The lump in her throat swells to the size of a boulder, teeth bite back the sting of bile that creeps up every now and then. If she'd let her wall down, they'd all see the utter nervous wreck that she is. But that just won't do. She can steel herself for long enough to make it through the ceremony whilst curious eyes watch, and perhaps later she will find a nice bush to throw her digested lunch into.

Frowning at the gold clip that refuses to be integrated with its dangling partner on her wrist, a flicker of tears brim across long dark lashes. And she will not cry. Her makeup is far to perfectly done to have any of that nonsense happen. Screw the bracelet. She tosses it back down onto the oak vanity with a growl, huffing indignantly with a hot glare as it clinks harmless into a pile. Thank god her dress is stunning and no one will notice if she isn't wearing the defiant accessory.

He will like it, that much is certain. What with all the exposed skin of her back thanks to the low cut of the lace gown. Hunter Green with tiny diamonds strung about the entire length. White was never her anyway, and black would have just been ridiculous. If she is being truthful, she feel's rather pretty in the color. It certainly highlights the olive tone of her skin, the deep set plum of her lips, compliments the raven hue of her hair. If it wasn't for the simple gold necklace that hung between her breasts, illuminated by the dying sun, it could almost be possible for her to slip into the forest and blend in entirely. Perhaps part of her is still Queen of the Forest. A small part.

Smoothing out the lace that covers her arms, she checks her nails over once more, nothing fancy, just painted a soft mushroom grey, the color will go well with the white lilies in her bouquet. Time is ticking away as the musings of a few voices outside the tent call her attention, and there really isn't much more time she can stall. Not that she is trying to stall. She's not scared. Just in honest to God disbelief that this is happening for her.

Marrying a man she actually wants to, without anyone here to stop them from doing just that. Robin had popped the question, or rather shot the question at her almost a year ago, and time had flown past her. She is excited. Truly is. Wants nothing more than to be able to hear him introduce her as his wife. Mrs. Regina Locksley. It has a nice ring to it. Speaking of rings, she probably should grab the wedding band for Robin from the black velvet satchel before she forgets. That would just be embarrassing.

Rolling the steel band between her fingers, the emeralds glint in the peaking of sun from the tent opening, two of them set between a single block diamond in the middle. All sunken into the silver metal and perfectly him. Not that he was that inclined to be wearing something so lavish, lest someone spot it on his finger and try to rob them for it's value. But Regina had insisted more or less. He'd chided her playfully that is was simply to keep female eyes away from where they not ought to be prying. She neither confirmed nor denied that.

Tucking the ring into the green band that secures her flowers, she spies the gold bracelet once more, rolling her eyes heavy as she picks it back up in a last ditch attempt to get the bloody thing to hook.

"Wow. You look incredible."

It's the sound of her own voice, perhaps an octave higher, but it's a voice she knows to the core. Spinning on the spot with wide eyes and mouth agape, it's the last person she expected to be standing here. In a simple plum dress with a silver belt, hair lightly curled about her shoulders and a small smile on ruby red lips.

"I could say the same about you."

The two share a smile, before the Queen licks her lips rather apprehensively. She hasn't spoken to Regina in nearly three months. Had told her about she and Robin's engagement, and the look in the other woman's eyes tore a piece of her heart out. Heartbroken happiness. It poured out of the beaming smile Regina had given her through their magic mirror. But she could see the tears that swelled behind dark lashes. It what she had wanted for herself. A happy ending that had been stripped away from her.

She owes Regina everything. This chance at a new beginning, at acceptance, and at love. A thought passes her mind as she watches Regina take a few slow steps towards her, eyes trained on the gold bracelet clasped within her own hands, that she should say thank you more often, make the effort to ensure that they are both living at least somewhat happy. It's the least she can do.

"Here, let me." Regina takes the bracelet from the Queen, bites down on her lower lip, brows creasing together as she attempts to hinge the two sides together. She just watches her. Rather stunned she is here, but beyond grateful for it. She looks thinner, hair is longer than the last time they spoke, but still beautiful as ever. Even behind the sadness in her eyes she tries to hide.

"Do these even fit together?" Regina huffs down at the accessory, and the Queen lets a light chuckle out. "Seriously. How is this not connecting?" She fiddles again before letting out a conquering "Ha! There." before she lets the Queen's hand go, bracelet securely in place.

For a moment they just stand there, holding each other's gaze. And while the Queen vehemently refused to cry earlier, a single traitorous tear falls onto her cheek. One that Regina quickly brushes away with a smile. "You shouldn't be crying on your wedding day." She tucks a curl behind the Queen's ear and steps one pace back. "Well, do a spin for me." Her finger twirls playfully, much to the blush the flares into the Queen's cheeks as she rolls her eyes and does what was asked and slowly turns herself 180 degrees in a circle, giving Regina the complete spectrum of her gown.

"I have to say that dress is gorgeous. I'm almost annoyed I don't own it."

"Maybe I'll let you borrow it one day."

The comment thickens the air bittersweetly. Regina knows what the Queen meant. That perhaps on her own wedding this could be the garment she'd wear. But that ship has long sailed, her beloved archer at the helm as it faded into the unreachable distance.

Sensing the sadness, the Queen reaches for Regina's hand, smoothes over her thumb and spies the sapphire diamond that sits on a ring laced about a silver chain. "That was daddy's ring." She toys with the band as Regina smiles against the previous burning of tears.

"I brought it for you actually."

The Queen's eyebrow arches high as Regina slips the necklace off, the diamond ring following suit before it falls heavy into her palm. "I didn't know if you were doing the whole; something old, new, borrowed and blue." She presses the ring into the Queen's hand, closing her fist around it tightly, "But I figured this could be all of the above?"

For a moment, she is at a loss for words as she twiddles the ring between her fingers. "Thank you." She locks eyes with Regina who now fiddles with the empty chain about her neck. "He would have wanted you to wear it."

"No. Not just for this." The Queen swallows heavy. "For being here."

Regina sniffs hard, tucks her hair back and swallows down the lump in her throat. "There's no place I'd rather be."

The hug happens fast, the Queen tugging Regina tight into her arms, holding the woman who has given her a new chance at life with everything she can muster. "I'm happy for you." Regina whispers between them, "Truly."

"Hey mom's. I think everyone is ready to go."

Regina pulls back at the same time the Queen stiffens and her jaw hits the proverbial forest floor. He's so big. And handsome standing at the opening of the tent in a black tux and dark green tie.

"Henry?"

"Hi Mom." Her son steps into the room, beaming brighter than the sun that is lighting her heart on fire, and wraps her up in a fierce hug.

"I can't believe you're here." She stumbles over the words as she feels just how tall he is now. Taller than she, all chiseled jaw broad in his shoulders, and hair slicked to the side neatly.

"Well someone has to walk you down the aisle right?" He kisses her cheek and grasps her hand. "Is that okay with you?"

Is the most ridiculous question she's ever been asked, and god dammit her makeup is going to be smudged beyond belief as tears flood down once more. Whatever, she can fix it with a wave of her hand. This is more important. Holding her son. Breathing in the summer fresh scent that clung to him as a child. Her fingers run through his hair gently, a motion that has him chuckling and pulling slightly away with a happy "Hey now, this hair took mom forever to get right." His eyes flick up to Regina who stands not three feet away, smiling softly at the pair.

"It's the cowlick in the back." She chuckles, walking up to them with a kiss pressed to Henry's cheek. "Never did like to stay down."

"I remember that." The Queen bites happily down on her lip, running her hand down his chest and fixing the tie she mussed up. "It's in every school picture."

"My own personal style."

"Messy bed head?"

"More like, too cool for a hair brush."

The trio laughs, and Regina hears the low chime of the harp outside the tent.

"Well I guess we should get this going. You ready mom?" Henry extends a bent elbow out to both of his mother's, chin jutted up into the air stoically with a grin as Regina hands the Queen her bouquet and they all walk out of the tent into the dusk sky.

Regina leaves first, taking a seat beside Jefferson who tips his hat at the Queen's baffled expression the hatter is present. Appears there are a lot of unexpected guests. Granted she and Robin only asked the quiet older couple that lived on the farm next to them to attend their wedding. It wasn't supposed to be anything grand, just the pair of them and the forest where they belong.

But the more the Queen walks beside Henry, down the white velvet carpet towards the altar she hasn't even glanced at yet, the tears swell in her eyes as she see's Granny and Ruby tucked in side by side one row back, beside Tinkerbell, with who looks as though she is about to burst into tears. Hook and Emma are on the opposite side of the aisle, the pirate bouncing a small baby girl in his lap as four of the seven dwarfs lean over and babble happy faces at the child. Maleficent slides in beside the vacant seat next to Regina, her hand moving to lace with the brunettes fingers comfortingly as she always had done.

It's nearly overwhelming. All the people that are here for her. That wanted to come and see her live her happy ending. After all the terror she had put them through, it seems forgiveness runs rampant in this group.

Finally, she lets her eyes move up, and there he is. Looking at her as though the only thing in the entire world that exists is her. It's all clean cut hair and neat pressed clothes. Not that he is wearing a tux or anything, it's a simple clean white linen shirt underneath a dark green and gold embroidered vest his father had given him, and brown straight trousers that tuck into his boots. For a moment she doesn't think she has ever been more enamoured by him before. It steals her breath away just how much she loves this man who has chosen to see past all that scars that adorned her heart and love her for simply her.

Henry's hand squeezes her's tight as the come to a spot at the archway, a kiss pressed to her cheek as the friar asks softly who gives this woman away. It takes everything in her to not let her heart burst as Henry proudly states that he, her son does. Robin steps down, pulls Henry into a hug and turns to lace his fingers into her own. Henry leaves them with one last whispered "I love you" into her hair and sits down beside Maleficent.

It's just them now. Standing toe to toe in front of all these people.

"Hi." He breathes through a dimpled smile.

"Hi." She grins back, breathing out through her nose as evenly as her pulsating lungs will allow.

"I want to thank you all for being here today, to wit-"

A small clattering of chairs halts the preacher mid speech, as all eyes turn to find Snow and Charming half tipped over and bright as tomatoes in their embarrassment. The crowd goes quiet as the Queen arches her eyebrow at the pair who quickly scramble to their seats beside Emma.

"Sorry we're late." Snow hushes out.

For a moment no one says anything, at least not until the Queen and Regina lock eyes and proceed to both burst out into laughter, the rest following suit as Snow hides her face in Charmings shoulder, giggling at the ridiculous statement she just echoed.

Seems life really does come full circle.

The End.

#outlaw queen #dark outlaw queen #snowqueen #regal believer #once upon a time #oq fan fic #regina mills #evil queen regina #robin hood #robin locksley #snow white

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olympictickets · 5 years

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Artistic Swimming: Countries that Qualify to 2020 Olympics

The top two countries not already qualified, China and Ukraine, punched their ticket to Tokyo, using combined scores from technical and free events. Moreover, the Oceania continental spot went to Australia, while Egypt qualified for Africa’s quota. The duos also get an automatic quota as a result.

Olympic Artistic Swimming Fans from all over the world can book summer Olympic Artistic Swimming Tickets online from our most trusted online ticketing market platform.

China and Ukraine are indeed the next two major nations to join the Olympic field alongside Russia and Japan in the team events.

China

The Chinese scored 96.0333 in the free team final with their “Ode to the Heroines”, for a combined score of 191.1876 that earned them a spot to Tokyo. They have been working on this routine for a while now and wanted to highlight the Chinese culture throughout. Guo Li admitted the hardest part for them is at the very beginning of the routine where they perform three acrobatic movements in a row.

The Chinese have also been working with Anna Tarrès for the last month in an effort to improve their artistic side. Tarrès, former coach of the Spanish national team for nearly 20 years, has collaborated with Ukraine and Israel in the last few years as well.

“I am just making some revisions,” Tarrès said. “I gave them some ideas to try to develop new movements, try to clean up what they were doing before, and try to make the routine more organic so that it could flow a little more. Mainly, it has been more to give them tools to develop the theme and to develop their own potential. The goal was trying to make them realize that they could go one step forward, and to look for new movement and for a new way of swimming.”

By defending their bronze medal from 2017 and once again placing third with a score of 94.3667, leading to a combined score of 187.8181, the Ukrainians qualified a team to the Olympics for the second time in the country’s history.

Russia

Russia was, of course, the heavy favorite coming into this event, and won the gold medal with a score of 98.0000. The Russians performed their ‘Shamans’ routine for the last time as it was already the third season with this program, and we can be certain head coach Tatyana Pokrovskaya will create something new for the Olympics.

These world championships also marked the return of Alla Shishkina, two-time Olympic champion, to the Russian team after a break of two years following the 2016 Olympic Games.

“When I stand on the podium in Rio, I think about my comeback,” Shishkina said. “At that moment, I think that I would rest only one year. But after one year, I think more. I said to Tatiana Pokvroskaya, ‘Can I rest one more year, and these two years is my only rest?’ After these two years, I understand that I love synchronized swimming very much, with all my heart. My comeback is for the love of this sport.”

It will be extremely interesting to see how Pokrovksaya figures out who her top eight swimmers will be for Tokyo as both Svetlana Kolesnichenko and Svetlana Romashina will have to be included in the team once again.

Varvara Subbotina, the youngest of the Russian team at 18 years old and competing at her first senior world championships, explained how intense the internal competition is within the team.

“There are many girls in the reserve,” Subbotina said. “Six or seven girls stayed behind in Moscow. Everyone tries to show their best, to prove the coaches that they have this right to be in the team. Some come to the gym earlier than anyone else, some work harder on some elements in the water or in the gym. This is a normal process; we are used to it. The rivalry in the team is very high, so we know we have to work hard to be on the team.”

Japan

Unfortunately, Japan fell short of a team medal once again by scoring 93.3667 for fourth place. The Japanese had changed free team choreographies from last season, and have performed their new “Japanese Festival” routine at a few world series competitions this year. It will be interesting to see how Japan and Ukraine fare against one another at the Olympics next year, especially with them being on home turf for the Japanese team, but with a dominant Ukrainian team that cannot be denied.

Spain had finally managed to move ahead of Italy during the preliminaries, as the latter had been ahead since the 2016 European Championships in all major international competitions. However, the Italians managed to take the lead again in the final with their new routine “War of Two Worlds” despite falling on a lift, with a 91.6000 to Spain’s 91.4000.

This Spanish team, led by Mayuko Fujiki for the last two years is still quite young but has shown tremendous improvement since her arrival. Last season, Fujiki’s team had finished only 0.1333 points behind Italy in the free event at the European Championships, and she continued pushing them this season by creating a brand new routine for them in this the event, and moving away from the ‘Life in a Factory’ routine to work on this ‘Discovery of an Island’ theme.

“For me, the routine was for them to be able to learn how to swim sharp and strong,” Fujiki said. “It wasn’t really the best artistic side that I could give them. But because this is a young team, they learned something last year swimming the other routine. Now I really wanted to do something else, imagining that they were swimming qualifications in Tokyo, that the people in Tokyo would relate to and enjoy. But at the same time, I wanted something similar to Japan and Spain, and I was thinking, thinking, thinking, and then, ‘Ah! Islands!’ We are both countries with the ocean, we both have a lot of islands, with different cultures, and that gave me a little story to start with.”

Fujiki has also included Ona Carbonell in the free team routine again, and brought in 17-year-old, up-and-coming swimmer Iris Tio from the junior ranks to build the best possible team heading into the Olympic year. She has indeed played around with her roster throughout the six competitions her team was at this year, but she has clearly found something that works. If they continue on this path, the Spanish team is certainly in great shape to qualify for the 2020 Olympics.

Canada

Canada finished in sixth place with a score of 90.1000, its highest of the year with its new routine to the ‘Spectrum of Time,’ which was choreographed by Anastasia Ermakova just like its technical routine. Greece obtained 88.3333 for its ‘Africa’ routine, the same as last year, and for an eighth-place finish. France placed ninth with a score of 87.4667 for its ‘Emotions’ routine that we had seen in the last few seasons. The French faced some difficulties at these championships as Laura Augé had to be replaced in both technical and free team events at the last-minute as she suffered a back injury during training.

Mexican

The Mexican team wasn’t far behind with a score of 87.0333 for its ‘Space Discovery’ routine. The routine features a strong the opening sequence that will probably give you goosebumps, and all in all showcases a fantastic first lap with a unique throw where Jessica Sobrino, the flier of the team jumps straight above the base in a straddle split and quickly moves into a horizontal position only to be caught directly by the base underneath.

The Mexicans had a complicated season and were originally supposed to compete in a lot more world series meets, including the Hellas Beetles Cup and the Japan Open, but ended up withdrawing from those at the last minute.

“It was a very tough season,” Regina Alferez said. “It wasn’t that we were just not competing for the program, but we got sick a lot in the season so it was very hard to train and to get to this point of the year. We never felt like this before. In the past years, we were competing, at not just competitions but also exhibitions. It was a very tough year.”

U.S.A

The U.S. finished 11th with a score of 84.4000, but received a one-point penalty because the walk on deck was too long by 0.04 seconds. The Robot-themed routine was popular with the crowd, and the choreography itself truly is a gem in terms of artistic impression, musicality and attention to detail.

The U.S athletes have been excited about this routine right from the start and were thrilled to finally swim it on the world stage. They have welcomed with open arms the many changes their new coaching staff of Andrea Fuentes and Reem Abdalazem has brought on.

“I think they are the best thing that could have ever happened to us as a team,” Nicole Goot said. “We have grown individually and together so much, it’s incomparable to year’s prior. Our attitude towards everything changed. They brought a new perspective on how we train, how we compete, and our mindsets. We are a lot hungrier, more motivated, more innovative, thinking outside the box a lot more, and really supportive of each other a lot more.”

Australia

Australia and Egypt also earned their spots to the 2020 Olympics. The Egyptians finished 17th with a free score of 77.8333 and a combined score of 153.6684 to fill in the African continent quota. The Australians placed 22nd and scored 74.5333 in free, resulting in a combined score of 147.9783 to become the team for the Oceania quota, with a free routine choreographed by Giovanna Burlando, former synchronized swimmer and current technical director for Italy.

“We are really happy with how it went today,” Emily Rogers from Australia said. “We had a lot of pressure, so we are excited. We wanted our best swim. We wanted our score to beat New Zealand because then we would get our spot to represent Oceania in the Olympics.”

Notable, Brazil received a two points penalty in the prelims because it had too many acrobatics movements in its routine. Once again, it has been a difficult championship for the Brazilians as they had to scratch their duo from the competition, and to replace Maria Clara Lobo Coutinho in all the team routines.

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ryik-the-writer · 7 years

Photo

Rumbelle Fic: Lipstick (Chapter 4: The tragic morning)

Rating: M (rating may change)

Something’s wrong with Gideon ~ Belle recalls the morning she discovered her son was different.

A03

It's been far too long since I've posted anything! God I'm so happy to be back!

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

The drive home was quiet and tense, especially since Belle had silently insisted on driving. It was a way for her to focus on something else other than the situation before her. Talking back and forth through the rearview mirror was hardly the way to communicate with one’s child on such a heavy subject as “crossdressing”, as Principal Mills had labeled it.

She wanted to turn the car around and give a piece of her mind to every hypocrite in that school. She also wanted to pull over and hug her boy so tight that all the hurt in his lithe body would squeeze right out. Most off all, she just wanted him to be okay.

Something bigger was going on with her son, something bigger than his need to dress more femininely. She had seen it in his face at the school, this dark, defeated look. Like someone who had lost every shred of hope in their being. It terrified her to her core, and she prayed Gideon would open up to her tonight.

She glanced briefly at her husband who was staring at their son through his sun visor. Something was going on with him as well. In Regina’s office he started off defending their son before changing scripts and considering the idea that Gideon would need psychiatric help.

Three months ago talk of therapy and Gideon’s mental stability hadn’t even been a flicker in their lives. Before the morning Gideon revealed his secret life to his parents, they were…well, normal. They did normal things like game nights and vacations and talked about normal things. Then one Saturday morning while she was making pancakes and her husband was squeezing fresh orange juice into an antique pitcher, everything changed.

“Gideon!” Reid yelled up the stairs for the third time that morning, sleeves rolled up to his elbows to save them from orange pulp. “Get down here son! You’re going to make your mother late!”

Gideon didn’t retort but Gold could hear him moving around and counted that as a response.

Belle—who at the time didn’t have an idea in Hell what was going on in her own home—shook her head indulgently.

“We have time Reid.” Belle assured.

“I know, but I’d like to see our son before you whisk him away for the day.” He told her, kissing her cheek.

Belle giggled and plated the pancakes, turning to his lips, using her free hand to caress his cheek.

Reid moaned, his fingers sliding down to her waist.

Belle pulled away, using her grip on his hair to keep him at bay. “Our son will be down any minute…”

“In the time it’ll take for him to get down, I’ll have had my way with you twice with time for you to reapply your lipstick.”

Belle snorted, circling him to avoid his lustful hands. “Sorry darling. We’ve kept our son unscathed for seventeen years, I intend to keep him that way for seventeen more.” She kissed his pouting lips. “I’ll give him an errand to run during lunch and we’ll meet up then.”

Her husband smiled at the compromise. “I’ll hold you to that.”

They heard a door close above them and separated, both a little flushed and ready to have their breakfast with their son.

It was the clatter of silverware against the floor that signaled the change in the Gold family foundation. When Belle turned around to find her husband paling at the sight of their son, the dying echo of metal-on-hardwood sounded like the beginning of a hurricane.

Gideon Gold stood tall before his parents, looking powerfully confident in his blue mid-calf skirt, silky pink blouse, sensible flats and full-on makeup. He appeared to be glowing inside and out and so enraptured with his newfound confidence that he didn’t see the look of mixed confusion on his parent’s face.

“Morning.” He sighed airly as he circled the counter to pour himself a glass of juice.

Belle turned to her husband to see if he looked as confused as she did. Instead she saw a pale shell of a man standing in his place, his mouth agap and his eyes glassy.

Belle blinked, trying to decipher what was happening within her family.

“G-Gideon?” Belle managed to squeak.

“Yes mum?” Gideon turned, his cheekbones even sharper with the hint of rouge on his cheeks.

Belle made herself stay calm. Seeing her son in women’s clothing was strange yes, but not criminal. Still, something inside her screamed for normality—for her son and not…whoever this was in front of her.

“I…what are you wearing sweetheart?”

Gideon looked down at his carefully chosen attire. He had wanted to look perfect today and had chosen the most comfortable of his secretly bought clothes. He thought he had looked nice and that his makeup was crisp and precise.

“Clothes?” he answered with a grin. “I thought this would be flowy enough to wear to the library. Do you think I should switch shoes?”

Belle turned back to her husband, searching him as if he had the answer written on his well-tailored suit.

“Son,” Mr. Gold croaked, swallowing a lump of guilt at the look on his wife’s face, “go upstairs and change now.”

Gideon’s patient smile faded and a sense of doom filled his dark pupils.

“Is it the shoes…I…I can change the shoes.”

Belle turned back to her son, her beautiful, unique little boy who looked so lost and pained her heart began to crack.

“I won’t ask you again Gideon.” Gold stated firmly though his eyes wavered. “Go change into your normal clothes now.”

That word pulled Belle from her shock stupor and triggered her motherly instincts.

“N-now hang on a minute.” she coughed, turning back to her husband. “Let’s talk about this before we start throwing orders around.”

Gold glanced back to their son, something in his eyes that Belle hadn’t been able to place. He nodded his consent and leaned against the table.

Belle nodded her thanks and gave him a small smile. She wasn’t angry at his reaction to Gideon’s choice in getup; there was no protocol on how a parent was to react to such a thing after all. However she would have no one, not even her husband, make her son feel ashamed of himself.

Belle reached out for Gideon’s cheek, her fingers flinching at the feel of foundation on his soft cheeks. Now closer, she could now see the makeup he wore and how sharper it made his features, highlighting what he had inherited from each of his parents.

“Why are you doing this Gideon?” Belle asked quietly, praying that her son could see openness in her eyes and be honest with her.

“Because…I…” Gideon’s eyes lifted over her head to where his father stood. Belle could almost swear there was some kind of defiance then. Before Belle could turn to see if her husband’s matched, Gideon spoke up once more.

“I’m doing this…I’m dressed like this…because it feels right to me Mother. It feels right…on me.”

Belle swallowed and stared at her son, trying to understand exactly what he was telling her. She wasn’t naïve in the least. She knew of the crossdressing and transgender lifestyle, knew they were different and far more complex than any of the award-winning novels she had read could ever describe.

But…her son? How had she never seen this coming, not noticed how…different he was? How had she missed the signs?

“How long has this…felt right sweetheart?” Belle inquired.

Gideon’s eyes lifted again to his father and Belle had an unpleasant thought: had her husband known? Had he known their son—her baby—was going through this and had the audacity not to tell her?

She forced herself to keep calm. Confronting Reid and screaming at him to tell her what the Hell was going on would only make Gideon shut down and then this whole thing would spiral into oblivion. Instead, she took another look over her son’s outfit and slid her hands down to his shoulders. There were still so many questions that needed to be answered but right now her son needed her support.

“I think you should change the shoes.”

Gideon blinked, tears of relief brimming in his eyes. Belle had the strangest urge to wipe off the mascara threatening to leak down his cheeks but instead took a step back.

“I’ll be right back.” She told him quietly, feeling suddenly drained and shaky. She felt like she was walking through a fog as she made her way to her bedroom where she looked for a pair of unworn heels in her closet. She recalled vaguely that her husband had ordered them from a high-class cobbler on their last wedding anniversary. Beautiful as they were, the cobbler had made them much too large for her petite feet. She had stored them at the top of her closet after that, something inside her telling her not to throw them away.

Apparently women gained the hazy ability to foresee the future when they became mothers.

Belle caressed the box of shoes, wishing the answers to the questions inside her head were inside it instead of some hand-me-down heels.

A clatter snapped her from her daze, followed by the loud brogues of her husband and son. She couldn’t make out the exact words, but she knew the sound of a disagreement and also knew that now was hardly the time for one. She sighed and tucked the box under her arm as she exited the bedroom, stopping in middle of the hallway when her son came speeding past her, kitten heels in his hands as he rushed to his room.

“Gideon!” she called after him, dropping the box to the floor and dashing after him. She made it just in time for him to slam and lock the door. She fruitlessly fought with the knob, banging on the wood desperately.

“Gideon, sweetheart please!”

“Go away!” Gideon screamed from the other side, something hard hitting the door a moment later (one of the heels if Belle to guess).

She fought with the door a moment more before giving up, leaning against it tiredly.

“Gideon, I don’t know what’s going on, why this is happening, but you don’t have to be afraid or ashamed. I love you Gideon. You never have to hide yourself from me.”

She received no answer and after a moment decided to give him the space he needed. She made a quick turnabout to pick up the shoe box, torn between putting it back as far into the closet as she could and leaving it at her son’s door. She finally decide on the latter; her son needed her support right now.

She returned to the kitchen to find her husband solemnly sweeping up the remains of her favorite antique pitcher into the dustpan. She watched the soft bristles glide against the linoleum, the sharp clattering of the glass breaking what could have been a lulling silence. Her eyes lifted to her husband who had yet to acknowledge her reentry or give an explanation to the broken pitcher.

And as he finished mopping up the sticky orange juice and walked quietly out the garden door, Belle remained silent. She didn’t call out to him, didn’t inquire what had happened between him and Gideon in the three minutes she was gone. She let him walk away to gather himself as she needed to. A moment later when she burst out into tears, she was thankful he had left.

Somehow the Gold matriarch was able to declare normalcy by dinner time. She made a simple grilled chicken salad, a favorite of both Gideon’s and Reid’s, in hopes of lulling her son into the kitchen. Reid had sent her a text stating that he was on the way home and Belle was determined to make this evening as peaceful as any other night.

She didn’t turn around right away when she heard Gideon trudging down the stairs, uncertain of what she would see. She chastised herself instantly for the hesitation. This was her child regardless of what he came down dressed in.

“Mother?”

Belle’s chin wobbled as she smiled. He only ever called her that when he was about to ask for something astronomical, such as borrowing the car or an advance allowance. She stilled herself and turned to face her baby, finding him in a pair of freshly washed jeans and a plain t-shirt. He was her boy again, the only remains of his change being the eyeshadow that had stubbornly refused to fade from his skin.

“I…couldn’t get it all off…” he stated quietly when he noticed her staring.

Belle blinked back tears and approached her son, her hand hovering over his cheek. She could feel the heat from where he had been scrubbing, his delicately soft skin bruised by the harsh treatment. Gideon had never had much luck with facial hair, and now she wondered if any of this had anything to do with it.

He was so special, so unlike anyone she had ever known. And he was a part of her, a part of her husband, a mix of both of their flaws and perfections.

He was theirs, and such a concept hadn’t seemed so vast and phenomenal until now when the boy they’d raised discovered he had another person under his skin.

“Hold on.” Belle said, making a quick dash to the hall bathroom where she kept some of her essentials. A moment later she returned with what looked like to Gideon a pack of napkins. Belle plucked out one and gently wiped at the places he couldn’t quite erase.

“Makeup wipes.” Belle smiled. “Soft and efficient. I keep them in the third drawer upstairs.”

Gideon’s strong fingers wrapped around hers, stilling her movements.

“You’re…okay with this then?” he asked, his expression unsure and awaiting the sting of a mother’s rejection. “Of…me?”

Belle forced herself to hold back her tears. “Of course baby. You’re my child. I don’t care how you dress or what you want to be. I just want you to be safe and happy.”

A tear slid down Gideon’s sharp cheek and Belle instinctively wiped it away.

“Everything’s going to be alright sweetheart.” She said as she pulled her towering son into an embrace. “Your father and I love you no matter what.”

Belle felt Gideon tense at the mention of his father. Before she could question why, the back door opened and Reid entered, his face stoic and his hands full.

Belle stepped in front of her son as if to shield him.

“Reid, we need to talk.”

Mr. Gold riffled through the bag he had brought in and pulled out a long silver dress. Belle recognized it as the same dress that had been hanging in the shop for nearly a year since Reid had bought it and a few other garments in a chest at an estate sale. It had been made for a woman of tall stature and had been gathering dust for far too long.

“Here.” Mr. Gold slid it across the table to Gideon, not quite meeting his eyes. “I thought maybe you could…try this out or something.”

Gideon’s hand hovered over the garment, hesitating taking the non-verbal apology.

Belle watched the exchange worriedly, as if Gideon accepting the dress would seal his fate.

Suddenly, Gideon chuckled.

“Sequin. Really dad”

Mr. Gold’s hard expression suddenly melted and soon enough he was laughing right along with his son.

Breathtakingly relieved, Belle joined in, and for a moment her family was whole again.

Now that beautiful moment of love and understanding nothing. Deteriorated after one incident. The teens of Storybrooke would announce the happenings at Storybrooke High to their parents at dinner time and tomorrow her son would have a target for ridicule on his back.

Belle gripped the steering wheel, the hard metal bruising her palms. The school may not be “able” to do anything about the students, but Belle could. She’d contact the parents and give them the chance to set their children straight. If that didn’t work, she contact a lawyer…well, technically she was married to one. That would work in her favor if it came to that. Reid would fight for their son just as hard as her.

It was a ragged game plan, but she would build it up as the problems came along. She’d be damned if her baby was going to suffer under the thumbs of those heathens.

“Belle slow down you’re about to miss our turn.” Mr. Gold alerted.

Belle gasped and turned quickly, causing the occupants to tense as Belle narrowly missed one of their neighbor’s mailboxes.

Mr. Gold muttered a curse but didn’t point out Belle’s lapsed driving as he would have had the mood been lighter.

As soon as they were in the safety of their driveway, Gideon jumped from the car and made a dash for the door.

“Gideon!” Belle called after him.

“Son!”

Gideon didn’t heed his parents but instead dug out his key and ran inside as soon as the door was open.

Gold moved first, sprinting from the passenger seat and up the stairs. Belle stayed in the car, staring at the empty place beside her. She was alone. No need to maintain the guise of the strong matriarch who dealt with her family’s issues with cunning and grace. She could now be the broken mother who didn’t know how to save her baby.

In frustration she slapped the steering wheel and paused, letting the sting ease away before doing it again.

And again.

And again until she was slapping the wheel repeatedly and crying out in pain and anger and hatred at herself and at the world.

She had to stop when tears blinded her to the point where she couldn’t see the steering wheel. Instead she leaned against the window and sobbed until even her son’s face was a blur in her own mind.

#rumbelle #rumbelle fic #Gideon Gold #Gideon #Lipstick #crossdressing #transgender #Robyn Hood-Mills #Neal Nolan #ryik's fics #I'm back!!!

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rachelbethhines · 7 years

Text

The Antoine and Bunnie Retrospective - 134

“Sonic’s Angels” - Sonic the Hedgehog #152

So this is quite the controversial issue for many reasons. Mainly because of the way it resolves the whole Evil Sonic mucking with Sonic’s love life plot. In that it doesn’t resolve anything.

The freedom fighters are sent on a mission to stop a bunch of nanites from destroying the ecosystem. And the group is split into two teams, the “brain trust” (ie the smart guys) and the psychical fighters. Only without the Chaotix or Antoine around, most of the heavy hitters are all women save Sonic himself.

This leads into my first problem with story and possibility with the whole of the Sonic franchise. There aren’t any super smart women!

In all of the games, cartoons, and the majority of the comics (I haven’t read Fleetway so forgive me if I’m wrong) most women in the franchise can be roughly categorized into five groups.

The Cute Bruiser or Action Girl - Amy, Bunnie, Julie-Su, Barby ect.

The Serious No Nonsense Leader or Loner - Lupe, Sally, Madonna, Topaz, Blaze, Shade ect.

The Innocent - Hope, Maria, Cream, Elise, Tikal, Mina, That genie from Sonic and Secret Rings, ect.

The Femme Fatale - Rouge, Breezie, Fiona, Lin-da ect.

The Mothers - Vanilla, Rosie, Bernie, Lara-Le, Aleena ect.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with any the above tropes and it’s good there are enough differences between theses characters to make them unique from one another. But it’s telling that the only genius women, like Wave and Relic, are fairly new additions to the franchise. ( I think Fleetway has one, Tenko, I believe?) And anyone else who doesn’t fit into theses categories are often outliers like Sarah, Merlina, Regina, Sonia, Marine, or Sticks. (though Sticks is becoming more prominent)

Basically what I’m getting at is, due to the nature of the series, there’s an over abundance of psychically strong women and few that have equal but differentiating strengths. Especially since the innocents tend to be plot points and/or motivators for male characters. Cream and Mina being the exceptions.

So I can’t really fault Penders for wanting to do a story that highlights the fact that over half of the comic’s warriors are women. But I can gripe about how he merely uses them to further forced relationship drama and how none of them, save Bunnie, actually do anything productive. With character’s like Mina being outright redundant with the comic actually stating that she is.

So what does Bunnie do? Well she get captured by the nanites who thinks she can be converted into the collective because of her cybernetic limbs.

Now I don’t have a problem with this scene necessarily, unlike many others who seem to, and here’s why....

It’s a logical conflict that’s true to the unique nature of the characters. Robotization already involves natnite technology and Bunnie is one of only two people in the world who still has this technology present in their biological system.

This ties into Bunnie’s already established internal conflict about her identity but puts a new spin on it where she realizes that who she is now is better then some of the other alternatives out there. This could also potentially tie into future conflicts as her cybernetics could be considered a danger to herself but it’s not one that’ll come up often.

Some have argued this scene is too “intense” for children but I grew up with late 80s/early 90s cartoons where crap like this was deemed ok.

I’m of the mind that as long as it doesn’t involve outright gore and has a happy ending you can go as dark as you want with kids and they’ll be fine. Usually. I do recognize that there are exceptions to this rule.

Last off, there is a happy ending and she’s not permanently psychically harmed by the event.

No, what I have a problem with is what happens after she’s freed.

Ya see Sonic outwits the nanties with logic in order to free Bunnie.

Grateful and relieved to be herself once more, Bunnie gives him a kiss.

Now this isn’t a problem within of itself so much as every thing revolving around it is awful. Bunnie’s already interested and Sonic and believes he has feelings for her because of Scourge lying to her and Sonic himself is unaware of both Scourge’s actions and Bunnie’s new found feelings. So instead of responding to this action in an believable manner or trying to to set the record straight he just goes along with it. So I guess they’re dating now, only no, wait, they’re not, because they never follow up on this ever!

This is indicative of a larger problem within the Sonic franchise as whole. I mean, yes, it’s also because Penders is mainly a shit writer, but hear me out. From Ben Hurst to Pontaff, 90% of conflicts in Sonic are reactionary. Most characters simply react or respond to events going on around them. Rarely does a character initiate conflict themselves. The few that do, Eggman, Lyric, Metal Sonic, ect. often have very base motivations and rely heavily on mindless monsters to do their dirty work.

(Note: I do know there are exceptions to this rule such as Shadow in SA2 or Merlina in SatBK)

In short most Sonic stories tend to be Overcoming the Monster plots. Therefore, external conflicts like Man vs Technology or Man vs Supernatural works for the most part. However when trying to introduce any other potential conflicts, like say love triangles, the writers tend to cock it all up because they’re still running off of that reactionary mindset.

In order for a Man vs Man conflict to work, which is what relationship drama is based off of, then characters have to have basic motivations, make consciousness decisions, and initiate action. The conflict then comes from two or more characters having conflicting desires and needs.

By having outside forces like Scourge and Patch be the instigators of the love triangles you then take way any agency on behalf of the other characters involved. They merely become participants reacting to events rather then characters with real agency.

Now I still defend Penders idea to turn Evil Antoine into Anti-Antoine as Bollers original plan also had that same lack of agency problem with having the Source of All be the manipulator of events. But the entire Bunnie/Sonic/Antoine/Sally triangle is such wasted potential. Because there is a story to be told there, it just required everyone to maintain their agency.

Bare with me if you will as I explain how I would have written out this love triangle.

Sonic is believed to be dead and trapped in space as in the real comic. Meanwhile Antoine becomes more serious and over protective as he doesn’t want to lose anybody else. He spends more time training and becomes something of a workaholic. He also becomes more attentive of Sally as she’s in mourning and in need of friend. He and Bunnie grow ever more distant as his new goals shifts his focus away from her. It’s not that he’s become colder or uncaring, the opposite in fact, but rather they just start spending less and less time with one another.

When Bunnie confronts him over his obsession, they eventual, but reluctantly, agree that things aren’t working out like the once were and break up. Or at the very least agree to give each other some space to figure things out. During all of this Sally and Antoine become even closer as they find they confine in each other about their problems. Then Sonic returns.

Every thing in Home plays out more or less the same minus some bitching between Bunnie and Antoine and less slapping on Sally’s part.But the end result is Sally realizing that, while she does still love Sonic, they have very different goals in life and he’s not ready to commit the way she needs him to. But Antoine is. He’s been the study rock she’s leaned on and her shoulder to cry on for nearly a year now. And after his break up with Bunnie they’ve only gotten closer. So eventually after her break up with Sonic, they start dating.

So that leaves Bunnie and Sonic both feeling lonely and dejected. Since they’re already friends and now have some common ground with their former significant others braking things often to date each other. Well you could see how they would eventually become closer, and may even agree to try dating one another.

From there you have multiple ways which this could pan out. You could have the clean “happy” ending where everyone eventually realizes who they really love and both couples return to the original status quo. You could have the bitter sweet complex ending where only one couple works out and the others are left to grow from their experiences. Either Bunnie and Antoine get back together, leaving Sonic and Sally to press on, or have Sally and Antoine remain a couple and Sonic and Bunnie break up to figure out who they are without a relationship to depend on. You could also have Sonic wind up permanently with either Sally or Bunnie and leave Antoine and one of the other girls alone, but knowing Sonic it seems unlikely. Finally you can have the unhappy ending where none of the potential pairings work out.

Either way, regardless of the outcome, the story becomes more compelling as the motivations involved stem from real issues, not evil forces manipulating events. No one turning out to be evil, no one losing their shit and slapping someone just force a plot point, no miscommunication driving the conflict, and no one responding to events just because, but rather making active decisions. It’s people learning to deal with life and how it changes both themselves and others. Its real, complex, and mature. And because all of the people involved are already close friends with established histories and chemistry; any of the potential outcomes makes internal sense regarding the characters.

Well enough fanfiction, back to the issue at hand.

Since Sonic “out logic-ed” the nanites they release everybody. Meaning the rest of the girls didn’t have use Snively’s plan to short circuit the city. Oh yes, did I not mention that Sinvely’s in this and by the end he’s now joined the Freedom Ftighers? Yeah he’s here now and no one manages to accomplish anything, making the rest of girls completely pointless and the “brain trust” a good three or four too many.

That’s it for this weeks review so tune in next time on the retrospective as we dive even deeper into the final days of Penders run.

#sonic the hedgehog #Bunnie Rabbot #sonic #archie sonic #archie comics

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