#highschool problems: trans problems

[jordemme-draws]

Happy Trans Day of Visibility!

Support a Trans creator by reading my fanfictions LMAO.

Seriously though, the fact that I've been out online for 13 years and out publicly for 11 is wild. I'm almost 30 what the hell happened?

[not-tyrannosaurus-lex]

i feel like what's lost here is that the teacher was talking to a child and that the message was tailored towards how children behave

One time in highschool our teacher said that it was never under any circumstances okay for a boy to hit a girl and I asked “not even in self defense?” and he said “no” so I pointed to the kid next to me and said “so if I just started whaling on this guy then he’d just have to take it? What the hell” and he was like “you two have had the same homeroom for three years do you not know his name” and I was like “that’s not the point right now” and Mr. K if you’re out there reading this I’m still mad about it

[rocksshard]

I wonder what breed of dog i am🤔. I think about it all the time, but all i end up with are like a group of my favorite dogs that don't fit my personality at all lol.

[cripplecharacters]

hello!! I am making a rewrite of a. Very very bad comic. Now, my MC is a disabled trans woman (knee chronic pain sustained from a pretty mundane highschool track injury, im not one to do tragic disability storylines, seeing as I’m physically disabled and that trope sucks). This ask isn’t about her, though. I’m planning to add a sort of cameo of a main character from the original comic, Shanzay (the comic spelled it Shanzey but no ethnic group actually spells it that way, so… white ass comic writer). Her original disability is caused from. Ableist trope after ableist trope. It’s not gonna come up how she was disabled, since it’s a cameo of my MC helping her and her girlfriend with furniture around their house, basically a plot device for her to tell her about the club the MC and her friends are gonna visit, which causes the main inciting incident of the story. I would, however, like to change how her disability happened, even if it comes up, because it’s REALLY handing itself over to the ablebodied gaze (essentially, perfectly vertical eye scar and cataract caused by abusive father doing unspecified thing to her eye that only her mom is traumatized by, not her apparently). If y’all can come up with either really stupid mundane accidents to cause it or a way to draw the scar so that it’s not stupid and unrealistic lmk 😅 to clarify my physical disability is POTS, and very likely but undiagnosed reproductive disabilities, so I don’t have the experience that people with half blindness or other eye related disabilities might here

Hello!

So the perfectly vertical scar is unrealistic for a couple of reasons. Main one is that very few scars are perfectly pointed in any direction, especially not traumatic ones (surgical ones might be but I'm not familiar with any procedure that leaves a vertical scar through someone's eye). Second, for the eye specifically, it just doesn't make sense anatomically (?) since eyes tend to be set deeper in the skull so that this exact thing doesn't happen - they're sitting in two big holes surrounded by bone. The third is that if someone did actually get slashed in a face with enough force to make the second point irrelevant they'd likely either die or have something much more significant happen to them (behind eye is where the brain is stored, so...). Or at least lose the eye, since the globe just got cut in half.

With this in mind, you have a few options.

A: Leave both the monocular blindness, scar, and backstory in and just make it make more sense. For example, maybe she was hit (can fit the original cause) and had an orbital fracture (can leave a scar or just general asymmetry in the area), it got infected and she started having eye problems (endogenous endophthalmitis). I'm honestly not sure how probable cataracts would be here since it's really mostly a progressive condition, but if she was to receive some sort of trauma to the lens then a cataract could form there. Just keep in mind that other things would probably happen as well, it'd be impressive to hit only one specific eye structure (whilst doing it hard enough to cause a permanent problem).

B: Leave the cataract and scar. Hell, they can be unrelated. Maybe she developed the cataract as she grew older and also had a scar from, IDK, (there really isn't anything that results in that kind of scar so cut me some slack) a laceration from some machinery that she had when she was younger and had to get it stitched up, which left a more-or-less vertical scar. Keep in mind that if she has an eyelid scar, that will affect its functioning - for example, if it sticks out, she might not be able to fully open the eyelid.

C: Leave the cataract and give her a more common kind of scar instead. This is easy since literally any scar will be more common. Some ideas; hit the forehead on the roof of a car while getting in, had a tumor that had to be removed, born with a facial cleft, got a really bad skin infection, had meningitis, boiling water fell from a stove top, needed brain surgery, born with (anterior) encephalocele, minor injury that she kept picking on and it healed poorly, family dog bit her, broken nose from getting accidentally elbowed in the face by someone, car crash where she hit the dashboard with her head, part of skin had to be removed due to skin cancer... The choice is yours. Literally anything would be more realistic and interesting (since the vertical eye scar is just treated as a visual quirk the same way a mole is rather than a Thing caused by Something most of the time and a Thing caused exclusively by swordfighting the rest of the time).

As to drawing it, you probably could make the scar either less extensive with the same severity (e.g., only shows on the brow bone and cheek) or make it more severe with the same extensiveness (it does show up on the eyelids and general eye area, but there is visible asymmetry, skin/bone indentation, ptosis, etc.).

The thing below is something I drew really quickly right now for reference, IDK how helpful it is but just be aware that the way eyes are placed in the face is designed to specifically avoid things getting into them. So if you're bypassing that, the actual structure of the face has probably been changed.

Hope this helps!

mod Sasza

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for calling my boyfriend babygirl

let me clarify upfront: my boyfriend has never expressed discomfort with this, and says he likes it, so it’s potentially a non-issue, but it’s still bugging me. this has been ongoing for a little over a month and i feel like i’m going nuts. forgive me if any of the language i use here isn’t correct, i don’t know how else to get the ideas across - feel free to correct me if i could be saying things more inclusively. sorry that this is rambly also. small nsfw warning (nothing too explicit)

i (22m) have been dating my boyfriend (19ftm) for a little over a year. i’m cis and he is trans. admittedly i’m not like… the most well versed in trans issues but i love him more than life itself so i really try to be respectful of him. he was bullied pretty severely in highschool, not just for being trans but his gender identity was no small part of it, and even though he’s not super dysphoric day to day he’s definitely got some boundaries about it. there are certain compliments he likes and some that upset him (he doesn’t enjoy being called pretty or cute, typically) and he’ll snap at people for referring to him with feminine names or titles like “sis” “girl” etc even if it’s done jokingly.

the thing is he’s rarely, if ever, done that with me? i call him pretty and cute all the time (because he is) and he’s always been fine with it. admittedly the first time i did it i didn’t know it was something that usually bugged him, but he’s never said anything to me about it. everytime i have he’s seemed happy. he’s very outspoken, i pretty firmly believe if it was a problem he’d say something about it - again, he has no issues being firm about this boundary with any of his other friends and family. i was doing this before we started dating, so after we started dating it sort of bled into pet names

again, it was never something i asked him about expressly, but at some point i started calling him, like… princess, babygirl, etc. i only ever do this in private, when its just us or when i’m pretty sure only he can hear me, for a few reasons. my boyfriend doesn’t really pass (entirely his choice. he doesn’t bind his chest and he doesn’t want any gender affirming surgeries or hrt - again, he’s not super dysphoric day to day, he only gets upset when it’s commented on and he can bounce back from it pretty quickly) and again, it seems like it’s always made him happy. at the risk of tmi, it especially seems to make him happy in the bedroom, which is another reason i avoid dropping these pet names in front of anyone else. it’s private and i don’t think it’s anyone else’s business.

so. to put this mildly. we went to a house party together recently and i got super smashed. it was a pretty big party so we were sticking by each other, and when you’re drunk and your partner is there… well, yeah. i was admittedly being pretty handsy. he didn’t tell me to knock it off or anything, he was reciprocating. at some point he started talking to his best friend from highschool (19mtf, i’ll call her Z) so i reigned myself in but i was definitely still drunk and horny and being clingy. i don’t know Z all that well - she and my boyfriend are very close but she can be pretty harsh, and i appreciate all she does for him so i like her, but we never talk unless he’s there. i’ve had maybe one one-on-one conversation with this woman ever.

they’re talking. i’m also there. i’m not trying to rush him but i definitely want to get home. the conversation lulls and i take the chance to ask my boyfriend if he wants to leave soon, and because i am aforementionedly drunk and horny i drop one of those earlier pet names. before he can respond to me, Z snaps at me. she says not to call him that and that i was being a creep - this alarms me and was kind of frustrating since i wasn’t even talking to her, and i recognize i’m not in a headspace to argue? with her? so i just tell my boyfriend to come find me when he wants to leave and i wander outside. he finds me about 5-10 minutes later and we head home.

it doesn’t get brought up again that night but a day or so later i text Z to ask her what she meant by me being a creep, because it was bugging me. she says that it’s obvious i’m fetishizing my boyfriend’s gender identity, that the fact i call him those things brings up major red flags, etc. i tell her that my boyfriend doesn’t have an issue with it. she says it doesn’t matter and asks me why i want to call him those names in the first place, and posits that maybe i don’t actually want to be dating a boy - that i just like the idea of dating a boy and actually want to be with a woman. i’m gay, so this is VERY out of pocket to me. i tell her my boyfriend is not a woman and end the conversation there, but it DOES stick with me. so, very belatedly, i ask my boyfriend what he thinks of all this. i adore him so much and i hate hate hate the idea i could’ve been treating him like that, even unintentionally. he says the pet names never bothered him and he’s never felt like that, and that he’s fine with me specifically doing it because he trusts me and knows i don’t see him as a girl.

so, whatever. she has a problem but me and my boyfriend don’t. i try to move on, but the next time i see her she asks if i’ve apologized/reflected at all. i tell her no, because my boyfriend said i have nothing to apologize for and it seems like a non-issue. she is now avoiding me, refuses to be in the same room as me, and will declare to anyone who asks that she doesn’t want to be near someone who fetishizes trans people and she doesn’t feel safe around me. my boyfriend tries to talk to her but she insists i need to apologize at the bare minimum, but to who? even if i did apologize to my boyfriend i wouldn’t mean it and he wouldn’t want it. Z is his long-time best friend, i can’t exactly go the rest of our relationship just avoiding her. so i have no damn idea where to go from here.

on some level, i worry she’s right? i honestly don’t know why i started calling him those things. i think it started as a joke but i just kept doing it when i noticed he seemed to like it. in hindsight that was maybe shitty of me, but i trust him to tell me when something i do is making him uncomfortable. it’s not like i can do that over, but if he ever told me to stop i would. it’s definitely true that if you saw my boyfriend on the street you’d probably assume he’s a woman, but i’ve never been attracted to anyone who actually identifies as a woman before. i’ve only ever liked men, and no matter what he looks like he is a man. this whole situation did make me think about how i think about him, and i’ve realized that, like… i want to have kids with him one day, and ideally i’d like him to carry them. ideally, but id never make him. if he decided tomorrow that he wanted to medically transition and go the whole nine yards i’d support him. he’s my whole world, i just want him to be happy. but does the fact i want him to carry children prove her right?

i’m just. confused. i feel like i’m running myself in circles. Z knew him in highschool so she was there when bullying over his gender was at his worse, so i get why she’s protective. she’s also trans herself so she undoubtedly understands this stuff better than me. but i’ve heard it’s normal for trans people to have complicated relationships with gender, so it’s normal to be okay with gendered language from some people and not others (like only letting close friends use certain pronouns for you). i figure it’s like that, but it’s not my gender so… i don’t know. should i just stop calling him those pet names altogether, even though i know at this point he enjoys them, to be safe? am i an asshole for calling him those things in the first place / would i be an asshole if i kept doing it?

What are these acronyms?

[anamericangirl]

Hello! I just wanted to share something, I hope you don’t mind!

I am starting highschool now, but what I’m going to talk about was when I was in 5-6th grade. In 5th grade I had moved to a new school due to bullying in my previous one. I had never really had any good friends save for a select few.

Pretty much all of the kids in the new school were in support of lgbt stuff (as well as the teachers). However, I didn’t exactly see much of a problem with this. I had never really used the “typical” social media (Instagram, TicTok etc.) besides YouTube and some app called Amino (basically an app for fandoms primarily used by teenagers and the like) but even so I had already been somewhat exposed to those ideas already.

Anyways, one day a new kid came in later in the school year. I’m going to call her “A”. At lunch she sat with me and another girl. She literally started off with “Are you guys homophobes?” We both were immediately saying no and that we do support the lgbt community.

Anyways we became friends. She was actually quite friendly (at least, I thought so. I mean, she was literally a child who had been filled with these ideas like I was). Conversations regarding the lgbt community, sexuality (I didn’t actually know what the word meant. All I had heard was “oh it’s just what people you like.”), and gender/pronouns actually felt quite fun. It’s all I really enjoyed talking about with her.

Changing my pronouns around felt fun! For a small while I thought I was a trans guy since I liked traditionally “boy stuff” (video games, Star Wars. ugh I hate the logic I used.) but that didn’t last long. I then thought I was nonbinary/a demigirl because I didn’t exactly “fit in” with boys or girls. I was really just antisocial and recently I have been thinking that I might be neurodivergent in some shape or form.

Anyways, I just stuck with she/they pronouns, mostly because I still wanted to be okay with my parents calling me “she”, who didn’t know about any of this. I never felt any actual dysphoria with my body or gender. It was just fun. Even then, the idea of getting surgery to change your body was confusing for me. I just thought people changed their pronouns because it was fun and it was just what they felt more comfortable with.

My parents decided to move me to another school (I’m pretty sure they started to pick up on some of the stuff going on there. Especially during the pandemic where classes were online). It was a big public school and honestly it wasn’t much different (in terms of the students and their attitude towards the lgbt community). Around this time, my older sister had come out to me as a trans guy. I was excited and I gladly supported her. She told me not to tell our parents that she told me.

I think at some point I started questioning some of this stuff/felt bad about lying to my parents (I honestly forgot. A lot of this is a blur to me now. My mental health was horrible at that time by the way. I was very depressed and I actually felt suicidal at some points. I was 11 by the way). I told my parents what was going on and they were shocked. They took me out of THAT school halfway through the year and into a Catholic school (we’re Catholic by the way. Prior to the Catholic school, I had never really been that strong in my faith or anything. It was just something that made me go to Mass every Sunday.).

The school was so much better and there was practically none of that stuff. My mental health is so much better and I’m more religious now and I still don’t have many friends but I honestly like that. I close knit friend group has been really nice actually. We watch Star Wars together and talk about books and play with legos sometimes. Anyways I just wanted to get this off my chest. Again, I hope you don’t mind 😅

Of course I don't mind and thank you for sharing! I think sharing stories like this is important because it shows kids are being introduced to these concepts and getting pushed into them when they are still too young to even know what it really means. Kids at the age you were should not be worried about homophobia, being trans, pronouns or lgbt nonsense and the fact that it's just an every day topic among students in school at that young is concerning.

And you are a testament to the fact that this kind of environment is not healthy for kids because once you start understand what it is it creates mental issues because the whole concept is based on a mental illness called dysphoria and that's why so many children are identifying as trans and nonbinary and all the other ridiculous stuff when they're not those things. But they want to be because it's trendy.

I am so happy you are doing better now and you have found a place and a group of people where you can just enjoy being yourself and being young without worrying about what your pronouns are. :)

[jonahmagnus]

I make them transgender. Okay?

Headcannons below the cut ✂️!

Isabeau (he/him): Isabeau wanted to name himself Isaboy because he thought that would be funny (it is) but his mom wouldn't let him legally change his name to that so he chose Isabeau, which is exactly two letters off from Isabel. People still call him Isaboy as a joke, though.

The first person he told was Max, both because xe (Max) is ambiguously transgender in every universe, and because xir dad cracked his egg by showing him that masculinity can be whimsy and joy and not just the hardened role hes been forced to play until now. This realization would probably come after a short but very intense femme phase after whatever happens to his grandpa happens (exorcism hopefully) where he tried to embrace traditional "girly" things and while the freedom was nice he hated it so bad and eventually realized he was just forcing himself into another box. Him and Max are the Buzzcut Brothers during highschool.

Anna (she/they): Anna wanted to name herself Miku, and then remembered that she was white. She decided to name herself after the titular Anna from Fr/ozen, which is lame but its a "fucking Mildred?" situation where her friends are begrudgingly supportive. You can't really see it well, but her hairties are the same magenta as Miku's!!

The realization would come after like... years of repression and thinking that feeling Wrong is a problem unique to her and that Nobody Else Has Ever Felt This Way. The catalyst is an argument with Max over it which xe says "just google it, stupid". She does and then stares haunted at her computer screen and the posters of pretty anime girls up on her walls. How her favorite stories all feature transformation. She probably tells Doorman first, at like midnight, and then frets over her contact list before she calls up Max. Xe comes over grumbling the whole time but still supportive has she sobs her eyes out over this realization and gets snot into xir sweater. Xe makes fun of her name but nicely. And then xe asks if she wants to hear any other diagnosises that Max thinks she has. She says "no thank you I've realized enough for tonight ♡" and she is later diagnosed with autism, ocd, bipolar personality disorder and depression.

Crash (they/them): Crash names themself both after the titiular bandicoot and in honor of Crush, the guy who strangled them the day they realized they where nonbinary. This name is awesome and literally the perfect choice for them, its the perfect amount of absurd to suit them and also a normal enough sounding word that people would do a double take when they introduce themselves.

The first person they tell is honestly? Probably Rj. After a few weeks of Knowing that their... not cis, they track down Rj when their alone and explain the situation to them. Their super supportive, obviously, and extremely excited to have cracked Crash's egg. They are delighted by the name and in honor of the choice Rj takes Crash out to egg some houses with the jang. Crash tells the rest of the jang next, with Johnny being deeply enthused by the same they chose and concinved them to try and let Ollie roll them like a bowling ball. Ollie does so and another beautiful friendship is formed. Stephen solemnly tells them "Im proud a' you Crash, gender is a scam made up by the goverment to track our bathroom usage and its pretty cool that you're sticking it to the man like that". Crash nods equally solemnly in response, appreciating how thats fully just a fucking insane thing to say. They nervously tell Isabeau (who at that point is probably still Isabel) over text the next day, who then hunts them down to squeeze them in a hug.

Max (-/-): Max, of course, looks the same in every timeline. No matter what, they have a buzzcut and their name is Max. Cis girl? Buzzcut. Trans girl? Buzzcut. Trans guy? Buzzcut. Cis guy? Buzzcut. Nonbinary? You're never gonna belive it, but, they have a buzzcut. It/its situation in every timeline too. Doesnt matter the combo. She? She/it. Makes 'shit' puns about it. He/it? He is gonna "he/it" you with his car. They/it? Theres no pun for this one but it'll find a way to make one. It/its classic? Also no pun but it gets a boost to its attack speed so it doesnt really need one.

Max doesnt really come out to anyone. Xe doesnt feel the need to. You dont know its alphabet and you will never learn. If it feels like sharing xe will. If it doesn't, it wont. If you try and make it join a pronoun circle against its will, it will pull the god danm fire alarm. It will tell you its not cis but will not tell you in which way.

"Max, why dont you come join the pronoun circl-" "Spender, if you dont stop trying to get me to share my alphabet, Ill take a "she/it" on your work computer and pull the fire alarm"

[Plain text: "Max, why dont you come join the pronoun circl-"]

[snekdood]

the projection is wild with this one. be honest, are you just bored? got nothin better to do? bc ive been hanging out w my boyfriend this whole time while you're still arguing and being mad about absolutely nothing

notice how when you hear about all these rich white men in high positions of power doing heinous shit, none of them end up being trans men or mascs 🤔 but surely we're just as privileged as any other cis guy right?

[strawberijasper]

the post where you talked about it is kind of old, but i was just wondering if you’d share some trans girl!deku thoughts?

Holy shit this is an old ask I’m so so sorry anon!

But I would love to talk about trans girl!deku, I will always jump at any opportunity for me to yap about my hcs/AUs lmao.

My hcs for mtf!Deku vary a lot but what I come back to the most with her is usually how I think UA Deku would navigate being trans. I just think that coming of age story is always interesting, especially as someone who realized I wasn’t cis pretty young.

I feel like Izuku would have started to realize probably in her 2nd or 3rd year at UA, I just think in general Izuku would have realized pretty late (although the idea of Izuku showing up in 1st year fully socially transitioned would be fun, it’s crossed my mind mostly because I think it would be funny from Bakugou’s perspective). I feel like Izuku’s hyperfixation on heroes and becoming a hero would have played a big role in her not even thinking about her gender.

Izuku strikes me as the type to push feelings to the side when she’s got tunnel vision on something. Any “weird” feelings and insecurities she had that weren’t related to being a hero just weren’t as important. It’s very out of sight out of mind I feel. Until later on in highschool, those bottled up feelings of something being wrong would all start bubbling up after years of ignoring them.

It would be little things like lingering a bit too long in front of the mirror while getting ready for class, examining herself a little too closely, scrutinizing every detail that felt wrong but not knowing why. It’s something she would have done for years but just didn’t think about. Or overhearing the other girls in the class talk about their weekend plans, seeing their bond and feeling a pang of jealousy that she can’t explain. Lingering gazes at the girls uniforms or more feminine clothes in general, looks that likely got her teased by her male classmates (Denki, Sero, and Mineta) because they got the wrong idea.

I think she’d start journaling because of this. Izuku I think has a hard time processing her thoughts and feelings, so writing them down helps. It would be like a secret on lock down journal that she doesn’t ever take out of her room. But through that it would help her understand what’s been going on, so research, and realize that those insecurities she’s had her whole life was actually dysphoria.

I think the first people to notice would be Uraraka and/or Bakugou. They’re Izuku’s best friends so of course they’d notice something was up, and Bakugou especially pays way too much attention to Izuku for him not to notice. I’m not sure who she’d tell first though, I want to say Bakugou just because historically he’s been the first to know basically everything about Izuku, but I think it would come down to who confronts her first. But they’d both be supportive.

Uraraka would be more open with her support, she’d reassure Izuku that she loved her and would support whatever she wanted to do. She’d help Izuku out with experimenting with different stuff like her hair, makeup, clothes, etc. Bakugou on the other hand I think would be very awkward if someone were to come out to him, so his response, while supportive, would come off as dismissive. But it’s not, and he makes it very clear in his actions how much he cares about Izuku’s comfort. You’d think that someone who’s known her their whole lives would struggle with accidentally using the wrong pronouns, but I think Bakugou is built different, he’d have no problems whatsoever.

I have more thoughts about her coming out process but this post is running the risk of being only about that. But tl:dr I think the class would be very supportive and would absolutely fight anyone who is transphobic towards her.

I feel like once Izuku is well into her transition she definitely models a lot of her aesthetics after her mom and Uraraka, since they’re like the most important women in her life, plus it helps that Uraraka definitely shares her closet with Izuku.

The girls in UA would have a blast inviting Izuku to their regularly scheduled slumber parties to give her the girlhood experience ever.

I don’t think Izuku would fully transition until after they all graduate, but when she does it’s 100% thanks to Bakugou being fucking crazy. You thought him spending 8 years raising the money to have Izuku’s hero suit made was wild? Try raising the money for her transition on top of that. Bakugou is the definition of a wife guy, “whatever you want my queen” he is capitol w Whipped for Izuku in every universe.

One last thing I will say in this post about Izuku coming out, I think All Might would be, of course, supportive. But I think him and Izuku would have a very emotional, heartfelt conversation about it, they’d both cry and hug. All Might would tell her how proud he is of her, how strong he thinks she is. He would tell Izuku that he believes she’s going to change the world and make waves, not only being quirkless, but also trans. Idk that’s something I think about a lot and it makes me very very emotional.

Anyways, this post is ungodly long I am so sorry anon BRKHFFJF, I tried to reign myself in but nope! Yapper’s gotta yap ig. I hope this is enough mtf!Deku content to make up for the fact that this ask is from October, thank you for the ask and giving me the opportunity to talk about this again!

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

this is not spop-related and it's something i've talked about before but i just want to rant so feel free to skip ahead.

(mild spoilers for heartstopper!)

i just find it weird that people want "spice" in highschool romances. i remember seeing people complain about how heartstopper is too "vanilla" as if it's not a story about two underage boys falling in love. why the fuck would you want that to be smutty?

if you don't like cute romances, that's fine. consume the content you like. and if you have constructive criticism about heartstopper, that's fine too.

i'll admit that i didn't like the netflix show as much as i liked the graphic novel. the characters had more personality and interesting dynamics in the book. this is personal opinion and it can also be constructive criticism.

but saying that you hate heartstopper or that it's trash, just because you don't like wholesome romances or healthy relationships. that's a you problem. if you don't like it, don't watch/read it. simple as that.

also heartstopper isn't all vanilla fluff. it addresses some serious issues like abusive relationships, the pressures of discovering your own sexuality and coming out, eating disorders, etc. idk how much the show has touched on these, since i only watched the first season, but the book definitely goes into detail and addresses all of it pretty respectfully.

i just don't understand why people are suddenly against healthy romances. it isn't a question of preference when you openly bash a piece of fiction and its creator for simply writing something that you personally don't like. do you not have freewill? you could just find something that you do enjoy, not every single thing in the world is catered to you.

i've also heard people complain that heartstopper only got a show because it's an mlm romance, and that wlw romance is not as popular. which is just bullshit because i see mostly wlw romances nowadays. lumity, bubbline, rupphire, caitvi, fucking c//a.

and this isn't supposed to be a competition. i'm a wlw myself and i'm happy that mlm people got a chance to see themselves in heartstopper. not to mention, it has secondary characters who are wlw, trans, ace, etc. at the end of the day, i'm just happy we're getting more queer fiction, and good ones at that. not a toxic romanticized mess.

anyway yeah, this has been my rant. you can have your preferences or you can provide constructive criticism, but to act like a highschool romance is "too sanitized" is stupid at best, and weirdly creepy at worst.

(also i want to add that there is some smut in the webcomic but thats only after the characters graduate from highschool and are of an appropriate age.)

[mommaboyhalo]

Was listening to Forever Yours by dirty hairy and I have a wonderful sad idea for a fic I'll probably never make.

The begging part is Taylor, wondering who his father was and where he fucked off to. His mother says he fucked off to go die alone but he has a video or voice recording of Nicky saying

"How was your day? I have to go to work soon but you look so cute sleeping I didn't want to wake you up- uh I have to go like really quickly and you probably won't see me for awhile but I love you. See you soon kiddo".

And then Taylor puts the recording away, and falls asleep before his first day of highschool.

(I sat in that driveway for hours)

Nick Close, probably 12 sitting on the front porch of his house. A gift in his hands wrapped up in Christmas themed paper while he waits and waits and waits. Glenn said he'd be back by six but it's nine by the time he actually gets home. At that point Nick has locked himself in his room and doesn't want to even say merry Christmas anymore.

Glenn takes out his phone and listens to a voicemail he was left two hours ago "Hey man uh, Merry Christmas! You haven't gotten home yet I'm sure you're like busy or something but um I'll give you your present in the morning, there's microwave pizza in the freezer, getting sleepy"

Then we flash to Bill Close circa 1990. In a bar after a show thinking about his daughter Gwen (My hc for Glenn's old name Idc he's trans to me). He's using a wall phone to call his daughter, it's been a few months but he knows that home phone number by heart. The person who picks up isn't Gwen, it's his ex girlfriend. Annoyed he's calling so late, saying that if he wants to talk to Gwen he can call back in the morning when he's so er enough to remember the conversation. So he wakes up the next day and tries again till he spit of quarters to jam into the payphone he found. On his last try he leaves a voice message "Hey Gwen it's your dad... Uh I don't know what you're up to but I want to know kiddo! I'm doing better out here, getting some good playing gigs, me and the guys are going to Tennessee next month you should come with us! I'm cutting back on the alcohol y'know? So that's not really a problem. If your mom is cool with it- maybe next year I'll like cut back on the playing too and get a job closer to home? Can't really call back I know but uh, write me a letter some time! Here's the address of my friend, he'll make sure I get it. Love ya kiddo"

We cut back to Taylor post doodler trying his best to make a family tree. His moms side is all mapped out with the works: Where in the Philippines his great grandparents came from, their names, their kids and family branches, even cousins he barely knew existed. And then he gets to Nicky's side. It's barely mapped out and he knows the timeline thing was a little weird for Nicky's side. So he decides to go ask around. Making his way to hell after a quick phone call with his dad was easy enough.

He goes to Jodie first, who claims in life he was a police officer and his record should still be on the website, he was labeled missing but Taylor can say he fucked off into the mountains on a hike and no one heard from him again. They decide since Glenn was Nicky's biological parent, he should be written down as an ex of Jodie's to not confuse people. Hermie is listed as his uncle and it stops at that but he needs a set of grand parents. Jodie shrugs and says he's not even sure if he has any.

Reluctantly, Taylor has to find Glenn Close. Nicky left him to his own devices once he got to hell so he starts searching the rings till he gets frustrated enough to say "son of a bitch" and gets zooped down to the bottom. After wandering around for an hour or so he finds Glenn chilling by himself near a pond. Glenn doesn't recognize him till he says he was the candy candy head kid. "Oh my grandson!" And Glenn is very quick to hug him. He maps out Glenn on the family tree, listing him as "died in prison" and Glenn says he basically died there and that would be easier than explaining Willy's power word kill.

Then Taylor asks about Grandparents. Maybe he could talk to Glenns dad! He's got to be running around in hell somewhere. Glenn seethed a little bit, cursing his name and saying hes probably still alive somewhere in Faerun. But he does have a tape recording of Bill's that he plays for Taylor (it's the voice mail from earlier). Taylor writes him down and asks what Glenn knows about his past. It's very minimal, even goes back to Meryl and all he knows is Meryl existed once.

"How'd he die?"

"Drunk driving, flipped his car I don't know I just identified the body" Glenn ends up giving him the cassette tape, saying he has no need for it and it's harder to keep it safe in hell.

Fast forward, Nicky shows up to the presentation and is very annoyed that at the bottom with Taylor his spouses are listed too. Taylor animatedly explains his moms side and how cool they are, and once he gets to his dad's he's like. "Uh so this is Nicky, my dad" he waves to him in the audience. "And he's kind of cool, he has a job. This was Nicky's dad Jodie he was a cop and died, this is Nicky's mom Morgan, she was a super cool tattoo artist but she died, and this is Glenn, his like bio mom but he died in prison- and this is Glenn's dad Bill, he flipped his car. The end". Nicky is smacked with the reality that he has no clue about Bill. Maybe even thinks back to Faerun where the guy kind of stood around a lot and gave him toys but that was it. For extra credit Taylor brings out the cassette tape Glenn gave him, and Nicky can't help but think back to that Christmas night up waiting for his dad.

Idk if I'll write this I've got three wipes going but this was fun (:

[tss-storytime-summaries]

11

Expected Rating: Teen

Warnings: underage drinking, underage sex (both underage), cursing, arguing, transphobia, pregnancy scare, teen pregnancy, talks about trans pregnacy, talks about abortion, mentions of sex, talks about periods, talks about trans periods, Roman being lowkey kind of a jerk at first, someone fainting, swearing, Remus being Remus, throwing up. (Could be more as the story develops)

Characters: Virgil, Roman, Remus, Janus, Remy, Emile and Ocs

Romantic Relationships: Prinxiety (Roman/Virgil), Demus (Janus/Remus), Remile (Remy/Emile), Oc x Oc

Summary: Virgil Sallow is a trans teen who never thought his little crush on Roman Flores would go anywhere. It wasn't even a proper crush, it was only logical for Virgil to find his highschool's local star attractive, just like everyone else did. Virgil intended to finish his studies without doing anything about it, no matter how many of Remus' parties Janus dragged him to. But it seemed like fate had other plans.

After a Halloween night filled with flashing lights, a couple of drinks and horny teenagers, Virgil somehow manages to land a one night stand with Roman. The problems start a couple of weeks later, when Virgil's period is late.

Will Virgil and Roman be able to deal with this potential pregnancy? What are they going to do if the test comes back positive? How will their parents react? With so much already put on their plates, will both teens be able to work through the confusing feelings creating tension between them?

Author's Note: Expect little amounts of angst. This story is meant to be a very slice of life, happy and sappy story; so most of the conflicts are resolved in a positive way. Despite the trigger warnings, this story doesn't contain detailed, explicit, graphic or violent descriptions of sex, drinking, transphobia, etc. These are simply mentioned or lightly used as plot points.

[they-them-that]

Light trigger warning: gender roles, misogyny, transphobia

I love Ouran Highschool Host Club and with the Shoujo classic that it is, I adopted the general consensus that the show was "ahead of its time" with how it portrayed gender. Haruhi will always be a non-binary icon but upon rewatching it, especially after my own trans awakening, I remembered something that never sat right with me and that was how Tamaki treated Haruhi. My two cisgender friends didn't seem to pick up on the same problems even though they also consider Haruhi to be non-binary which made me think I was just projecting onto the anime. But another friend of mine later told me how it was much more "heterosexual" than she remembered that helped validate the feeling I had.

Although Haruhi doesn't like to make a fuss about gender, the anime does and it constantly reminds us that no matter what Haruhi feels, she is still a "girl". Tamaki is the worst offender of this mentality where even his entire perspective on Haruhi changes as soon as he finds out she's afab. A huge part of Tamaki's character is that he dotes on Haruhi "like a father" where his actions are actually founded on the authoritative, patriarchal belief that he needs to "protect" her because she is a woman. Not just protect her from actual harm either but from things like kissing someone and wearing a swimsuit...

Although in certain ways, we're supposed to laugh at Tamaki's overbearing nature, he's never actually taught to respect Haruhi's autonomy. In what felt like every episode, Tamaki fixates on Haruhi's assigned sex much to her annoyance. Yet rather than learning to look at Haruhi as a person regardless of gender, we're expected to see his obsession with upholding gender roles as a sign of affection. This felt clearest in episode 8, "The Sun, the Sea, and the Host Club!" where Haruhi confronts two men for harassing her female peers. She gets shoved into the water where Tamaki saves her but the conflict arises when he scolds Haruhi for standing up to men at all. The message emphasizes to us that "Haruhi is a girl" and it's something that she has to accept for her own well being while Tamaki's anger is meant to be perceived as chivalrous rather than patriarchal and heteronormative. The reality is, even if Haruhi was in danger, that isn't actually her fault but the fault of the men who felt entitled to women's bodies (something Tamaki is guilty of, even if not to the same level of aggression).

I still cherish OHSHC but it hasn't fully stood the test of time as I've been led to believe. That's not to rob gender queer people the comfort they feel from the show but that for myself, it's a bit hard to look past the cishet energy that the anime exudes. Although I see Haruhi as non-binary, the show doesn't seem to agree and goes great lengths to invalidate Haruhi's gender indifference. It's tragically common in anime and manga where trans-coded afab characters are reminded that they're still women and it's usually "proven" to them through patriarchal scenarios that put CIS men in a role of dominance. A lot of the time, these women are only gender nonconforming out of happenstance or circumstance rather than by choice, which even includes Haruhi Fujioka (she only cut her hair because there was gum in it). That's not to conflate gender expression with identity but it does feel like we're only being met half way, especially when the anime still romanticizes the gender dichotomy with Haruhi and Tamaki's relationship. I would've loved to see Tamaki be able to toss the notion of gender the same way Haruhi is able to and have that be the groundwork in which their mutual feelings blossom. Instead, it just felt like we got a man who stubbornly wants someone who grew up without gender labels to visualize herself the way he does, as a "woman".

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

🧟<- so I can find this later

AITA for asking my younger brother to act straight in front of our grandparents?

My younger brother (17 FTM) and I (20 F) have been living with our grandparents for several years now. Our grandparents are both old conservative southern folk and tend to be. a little bit homophobic. As this is the case both of us have been concealing our identities from them (he's trans and bisexual, I'm a dyke).

Recently, my brother has started dating a kid from his highschool (also 17 FTM). I have no problem with this, except that they have been making very little effort to conceal their relationship from our grandparents (holding hands in front of them, generally being annoying and cutesy). I have been secretly dating a woman under their noses for 3 years without suspicion, and I don't want my brothers antics to draw any extra scrutiny from them and blow my cover.

I confronted my brother about this and asked him to cool it with the PDA until we move out, but he got upset and feels I'm being controlling or saying he shouldn't be true to himself or something. I feel that my request is reasonable; outside of the house, I actively facilitate their relationship (my brother cannot drive and doesn't have a job, so I am the one that pays and provides transportation when they go on a date). It's not like I want them to break up or anything , I just want to maintain the straight illusion until we can move out of my grandparents house. Still, am I the asshole for asking him to not act gay in front of family?

What are these acronyms?

[frogofshadyorigin]

Saw a post the other day that was something around the lines of "ohhh, if you, as a trans woman are t4t with a transman/masc then the transmasc you're together with needs to at least read books about feminism and fight for your rights and realise that you have it worse than him, otherwise you should definitely dump him"

And I was just in shock. I read the post three times to make sure it was not satire or anything and the comments and reblogs just reinforced that and I was sitting there like WTF??

Like, sure, if you expect someone to read up on issues that affect you, go off, I guess. But you should never expect others to fight your fight for you. Sure, it's nice to have support and all, but don't go around telling others that people who, for whatever reason, won't endanger themselves don't deserve to be with someone who apparently likes them enough to start a relationship with them.

And the last part was even worse. Because how can you, in your right mind, expect a member of your own marginalized group (trans people) to ignore that everyone, whether trans man or -woman, gets beaten up, cursed at, killed or raped, just so you can say "oh I have it so much worse cuz I'm a woman". Fact check: you're wrong. Just because it doesn't get talked about a lot, doesn't mean trans men don't experience the same violence. For some reason, most news outlets or studies just don't include trans men.

It just feels so much like it's really not coming from a place of concern for trans rights. Instead, I read it as this hatred of men and especially their issues. And hey, it's easy to fall down that line of thinking, especially as a trans woman. When I started my transition, I was tired of everything that had to do with men. I didn't want to talk, think or interact with/about men. Being a man was this bad thing that had trapped me and nearly killed me and made me feel bad all the time. And to jump from there to "I fear of being erased when it's about men's issues" can happen. But instead of voicing that concern about how it makes you feel, it is easier to turn it into hatred.

To undermine that trans men also face a lot of violence. To frame yourself as the victim of a bad society and expect constant reassurance that you have it oh so bad.

And you know what? YES! TRANS WOMEN HAVE A BAD LIFE. They get beat up, killed, harassed, raped, shunned in social circles. BUT SO DO TRANS MEN!!! AND NON BINARY PEOPLE!! AND LITERALLY EVERYONE SOCIETY DEEMS AS UNDESIRABLE!!!

So please, stop trying to shift the view from this violence that affects us all. Because if we do not go into this fight together, then we will be weaker.

And one more thing, to maybe show how weird a statement like in that post is, just turn it around. What would we think if a trans man made a post, declaring that other trans men should dump their trans women partners if they don't "read books about how patriarchy affects men's mental health and that trans women should fight their fight and that trans men actually have it so much worse".

That hypothetical person would be ripped to shreds and called an entitled asshole that just wants to oppress women.

So why, when a woman says the same, it's not that? Didn't we once fight for equality? Shouldn't we want people to be together when they like each other? Shouldn't we stand together against our oppressors and the people that want all of us dead?

Because news flash: CONSERVATIVES AND NAZIS AND ALL THE OTHERS THAT WANT OUR RIGHTS REMOVED DO NOT CARE WHETHER YOU ARE A WOMAN OR A MAN. AND TELLING TRANS MEN THAT THEY DON'T HAVE IT THAT BAD JUST MAKES IT EASIER TO KILL THEM.

I also stop talking about my problems when nobody takes them seriously. It is like that, sadly.

Anyway, all this to say that, maybe, we shouldn't weigh our suffering against each other. Let's fight together and stand proud. Why make it easier to kill us by throwing our fellow people under the bus. Trans men get killed, trans women get killed, the poor kid in highschool who once kissed a boy gets killed. Being oppressed is something every queer person has to deal with and instead of discussing who has it worse, we should finally unite.

[ppgirl420]

i don't get why some of you think it's okay to act like cliquey ass children. i don't even want to be part of the local trans community anymore because so many of you act like fucking highschoolers. what, you think "second puberty" is an excuse for behaving like a 14 year old? fuck off. either communicate your problems or choke on them.