#his art is spectacular go give him some money >:)

[whattraintracks]

27. Human Friends - TMNT 1987

Buffy and Raphael should've been best friends, spread the word

"Poor Little Rich Turtle" is a spectacular episode

almost entirely because of Buffy Shellhammer

all the boys need more friends their age, Raphael especially

and these two could have gotten along SO WELL

in that episode, Michelangelo’s level of attraction to Buffy is inversely proportional to Raphael’s begrudging respect for her

I bet Raphael tells her about Michelangelo's crush as a joke

and she declares she has no interest in anyone human, turtle, boy, girl, or otherwise, and they high-five/three about it

he would love having a rich friend that lets him hang out in her mansion

he makes fun of her for said mansion but still shamelessly takes advantage of her wealth

which is fair since she’s been trashing his sewer home since day one 

Leonardo’s joke about seeing "how the other half lives"? Yeah, they run that bit six feet under

she does not care that Raphael and his brothers are local heroes they’re just some weird little dudes from beneath the city to her

she is, however, so excited to learn about all the hidden sewer routes around the city so she can escape her more boring responsibilities

they're both made of pretty tough stuff and predictably bond over their abnormal childhoods and limited connections/friends

"don't get out much, do you?" he says like he doesn’t have equally negative amounts of experience with normal teenage fun!!

zero understanding of typical friendship rituals between them

they wrestle, gift each other weird stuff, and spend a lot of time trying to figure out what normal teenagers do, only to give up and do something else because the things they thought of sounded boring

they'll just randomly ask each other stuff like, "did you know most people only eat three meals a day with specific foods for each meal?" and be totally confused together about it

they also have the most skewed concept of money

Raphael has never paid for anything in his life other than pizza, and while Buffy knows the exact value of super niche chemical tech supplies, she could not give you a reasonable estimate for produce

a lifetime with Donatello has made Raphael a surprisingly good sounding board for the more technical aspects of Buffy’s work

which she does enjoy, as well as cutthroat business operations, she just hates her public persona and sucking up to adults who think they know better than her

he likes to hold the fact that t(he)y saved her life (multiple times) over her head, but like as a joke

except for when he tries to use it to win arguments

unfortunately, it never works, she is the most ungrateful brat ever thank you much

they very much share that I don’t owe anyone anything attitude

EXCEPT for Master Splinter, whom they mutually respect and agree is the only acceptable adult

she unironically complains about humans with him but particularly has beef with adults, and he heartily encourages this

they love that they can be total jerks around each other without hurting anyone else’s delicate feelings

THEE besties who judge people and hate each other affectionately

all the insults: "martian" "nerd" "pet store reject" "spoiled brat"

when they’re not coming up with colorful insults for each other, they’re doing it together for other people

it's their favorite bonding activity <3

since she enjoyed their initial misadventure so much, she asks if she can go out with the turtles to fight and stuff again, and Raphael laughs at her

until she takes a bunch of martial arts classes and totally kicks his shell

and, well, he supposes a nice easy patrol or two might be fun

unfortunately, the team cannot handle the strength of their combined sass, and she’s forbidden from ever joining them again, even though she has a mean left hook

ultimately, I think they’d mellow each other out now that they have an outlet for their angst and eventually grow and learn a lot from one another

but, mostly, they just talk so much crap together

[ardenpodcast]

Greetings Good People of Tumblr! It is I, Andy Wheyface, logging in to give you my insights into the most spectacular television program - a little show called DUCKTALES, starring my fellow billionaire, Scrooge McDuck! (And his nephews, who I presume are locked in perpetual battle with each other to secure his affections and inherit his vast riches!)

To celebrate Arden's Indiegogo campaign for our third season hitting another big milestone, I've just watched the DuckTales theme song sequence. And I must say, my mind is positively RACING from these intriguing (and highly realistic) sights and sounds.

For starters, look at this! A WAVE of MONEY? Genius! Naturally I also have an unimaginable quantity of golden coins in a big vault such as this one (more on that later) - but I never considered installing a wave machine capable of creating a monstrous, crashing tsunami of gold that will rain down upon my body and sweep me up in its unstoppable path... until NOW!

Next, consider this helicopter. I know what you're thinking - "Andy, you're an eccentric billionaire! Surely you're not impressed by a helicopter, of which you must own several!" How well you know me!

But what I don't own... is a helicopter piloted BY a DUCK! But of course, it makes perfect sense - ducks are masters of the skies already, flying as they do upon their majestic wings. So naturally they'd make excellent pilots.

And now, I can hear you saying, "Andy, if you're building a powerful duck army in New York City, a legion of ducks stronger than anything this world has ever seen before, perhaps you should provide them with helicopters," and let me assure you: plans ARE already in motion. But I thank you for the suggestion just the same!

Now what exactly is happening here? It's unclear, but if I had to venture a guess, I'd say that Scrooge McDuck is walking through some sort of rejuvenating energy field that will make him feel younger in mind, body, and spirit. Based on this image alone, I can promise you that my duck army WILL be equipped with state-of-the-art rejuvenating energy fields, as I've gathered that they must be extremely important to ducks of some prominence!

Ahh, now this view will look familiar to all of you - we all have a spiral staircase leading down to our money vaults, do we not? I certainly do!

And THIS view will look familiar to those of you who have been hospitalized for trying to dive into an enormous custom-built vault full to the brim with golden coins, as inspired by Scrooge McDuck himself!

I am, OF COURSE, talking about ME, Andy Wheyface! As it turns out, slamming into a mound of solid gold at a high velocity is not nearly as comfortable as you'd think!

The pain was agonizing!

Good People, this particular screencap sent a chill down my spine, so much did it remind me of when another type of vicious underwater beast (sea lions) attacked my underwater casino - an event that is still having unexpected consequences upon the duck community to this day!

And such occurrences remind us of the fragility of life, of the constant danger lurking around every corner, of the need to ARM ducks against threats of all kinds. Which is why I've already commissioned robot duck suits just like this one, so MY ducks will not have to live in fear! I told you this title sequences was full up to the brim with inspiration! I have no idea what's happening here, but I DO know with every fiber of my being that it's a SPECTACULAR idea!

Now, this moment made me pause, so deep in contemplation as I was. When they soar above the clouds, flapping their wings mightily as the wind carries them across the heavens like a starlit highway... do ducks dream of going to space? Do they have ambitions of seeing the Earth from above?

Would that we could ask them such lofty queries....

Anyway, I've now commissioned a tiny rocket to carry ducks to space, so I suppose we'll find out soon enough!

Another interesting thought here - ducks accessing GENIE technology! What would a duck wish for, had it access to all the powers and mysteries of the universe? Wealth? Power? An unlimited supply of pretzels? ALL OF THE ABOVE?

YES!!!

And if someone - say, an eccentric billionaire and owner of Wheyface Industries - provide the ducks with such things... would they view ME as a genie? Or even as a GOD?!

And that, good people, has been my commentary on DuckTales, a vivid documentarian glimpse into the upper crust of duck society!

And if you have been inspired by this magnificent program, let me offer you this advice:

Put on some body padding before diving into your coin vault. Your bones will thank you!

If you'd like to earn more rewards like my DuckTales commentary, donate to Arden's season three campaign on Indiegogo and help us reach more milestones!

[popentertainment-moviereviews]

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE – DEAD RECKONING PART ONE (2023)

Starring Tom Cruise, Hayley Atwell, Ving Rhames, Simon Pegg, Rebecca Ferguson, Vanessa Kirby, Henry Czerny, Pom Klementieff, Frederick Schmidt, Charles Parnell, Rob Delaney, Indira Varma, Mark Gatiss, Shea Whigham, Greg Tarzan Davis, Mariela Garriga, Cary Elwes, Ioachim Ciobanu, Yennis Cheung, Andy M Milligan, Marcin Dorocinski and Christopher Sciueref.

Screenplay by Christopher McQuarrie and Erik Jendresen.

Directed by Christopher McQuarrie.

Distributed by Paramount Pictures. 163 minutes. Rated PG-13.

This is the seventh Mission: Impossible movie since 1996, with an eighth coming up early next year (as suggested by the “Part One” in the title here). While they still have a long way to go to outdo the TV series that inspired this franchise (171 episodes over seven seasons spanning the late 1960s to the early-1970s, plus a two-season, 35-episode revival in the late 1980s), at this point Tom Cruise’s superspy Ethan Hunt has long since replaced Peter Graves’ Jim Phelps as the pop culture face of the impossible Mission. In fact, the late Graves is probably remembered as well for playing the inappropriate Captain Clarence Oveur in the comedy classic Airplane! as for his near decade headlining this series.

And – with the exception of perhaps the Jack Reacher series and last year’s smash hit reboot of the Top Gun series – this is pretty much all that Tom Cruise is known for at this point in his career. (Which is kind of a shame, because early on is his career the guy could juggle lots of types of films, from comedies like Risky Business and Jerry Maguire to dramas like Born of the Fourth of July, The Color of Money and Rain Man. However, now he’s pretty much dismissed as an aging action star, and the Mission: Impossible films are greatly responsible for that.

It's a little bit surprising that this series has made it to seven films, because for the most part the first few were moderate successes. Even the last few, while they have done better, have not exactly been blockbusters. Early on, the series tried on a bunch of directors and styles – from Brian DePalma’s oh-so-serious first film to John Woo’s martial-arts adventure to JJ Abrams’ lightweight (and rather unpopular) third film. It was animated film director Brad Bird who seemed to put the series on the right track.

Now the last three films (four if you count the one coming next year) have been helmed by director Christopher McQuarrie and it is there – for better and for worse – that the series has reached its stride. And surprising as it is to say, Dead Reckoning Part One may be the best film in the series yet. (It’s certainly the longest, at nearly 2 hours and 45 minutes.)

Actually, even within the tight structure of the M:I universe, Dead Reckoning Part One allows for a bit of experimentation that the series sometimes eschewed. Particularly Cruise in the title role; he is willing to actually act and look his age (in his early sixties) in this film, giving Hunt a nice vulnerability as compared to the unkillable superhero of the earlier films. (Not that he isn’t still an unkillable superhero here, but it at least seems to take more out of him than in the previous films. Also, the stunts seem to be a little more earthbound than some in recent chapters.)

It's a good look for the character. Just like his character in Top Gun: Maverick, a little unsureness and humility looks good on Ethan Hunt. It makes Dead Reckoning Part One much more than a stunt spectacular – a slightly brainier version of a Fast & Furious film – and actually gives the film a bit of much-appreciated nuance.

In fact, for all the rumblings about evil AI, secret keys and world domination, to a large degree Dead Reckoning is a film about friendship, sacrifice and teamwork. Hunts’ team, made up of Ving Rhames, Simon Pegg, Rebecca Ferguson and new recruit Hayley Atwell, has become a well-oiled machine with obvious connection. And that is speaking of the actors, not the characters.

Even the evil AI program’s henchman, played with malice and intelligence by Esai Morales, is given shades and contradictions that make him more intriguing than the average villain.

Of course, the stunts – and there are a ton of them – are mostly pretty spectacular, too. And unlike so many two-part films, Dead Reckoning Part One actually has a somewhat concrete ending so that the audience does not feel left in the lurch when the credits roll.

I’m looking forward to seeing what comes in Part Two.

Jay S. Jacobs

Copyright ©2023 PopEntertainment.com. All rights reserved. Posted: July 16, 2023.

[wild-houseplant]

Hello Plant!!! I found a moment and would like to pose a few questions from the OTP asks. For Rhodri and Zevran:

5. Describe their cozy night in.

8. What happens if one of them gets sick?

30. Your OTP gets to pick out each other's outfits; what is each wearing?

And/or

42. What's their favorite type of weather to enjoy together? (getting snowed in together, watching thunderstorms, etc.)

Please feel free to pick the ones you like and to take as long as you'd like ^^ Lovely even temperatures to you and a spectacular day! And give Rhodri and Zevran all my love ^^

Hello my excellent and superb friend :3 I really appreciate you sending me the ask!! I am greedy and will choose them all, and as I rabbit on and on and on I will be steadily wishing you a very long sequence of perfect days and excellent temperatures.

And, of course, Rhod and Zev send their best love to you. Please keep half an eye on your nearest window; I'm told they had a bit of a shopping spree, as is their wont, and gifts are coming your way in untold quantities. I hid my own presents for you in there too, though, so as to bum off their postage. One must get one's money's worth, don't you think?

Under the cut, you know the score. The curse of the waffler! ok but I kid you not, I went all-out on this one. It's seriously long.

5. Describe their cozy night in.

This will be a lengthy answer, my spiffing friend, as there are headcanons galore in here. I humbly offer my condolences and sincere appreciation for your manifold patience! :D

my tl;dr for this is that they might sit and do their own thing together (Zevran will read, play the mandolin and/or sing, cook, and draw; Rhodri will read and enjoy his singing); dancing is also a thing, and Rhodri starts getting a mite... how would you call it... dumping the affection (sfw).

A cosy night in means they've got time alone, because the Callistus-Amell family usually spend evenings together at every possible opportunity, so it'd mean the parents and siblings all have prior engagements.

Not that they're not a cosy bunch, per se. There's plenty of contentment to be had, but they'll often be pretty involved in some activity or another that you couldn't call cosy. Stuff like dancing, taking in a show, attending a gala, paying visits to friends or vice-versa... probably the closest thing they get to cosy would be sitting and chatting-- and lord knows Aurelio and Revka just won't shut up. Factor in the boisterous twins Mazarin and Evander, plus the quieter but still involved Owen and Bethann, and now also Rhodri and Zevran, and the bastards will stay up until all hours. They don't go to bed until the beloved housekeeper politely but firmly shooes them out around daybreak.

One particular thing I think they'd love, if they wanted something really low-key, would be to just sit together and do their own thing.

I think Zevran in particular would really enjoy this avenue because up to now, he's never really had the opportunity to pursue his interests. The Crows were awful, physically and mentally, about people doing what made them happy, and it’s a forbidden pleasure he now-- tentatively-- relishes. He could turn his hand to anything but I can see him being a voracious reader if given the chance. He also seems to dabble a lot in arty things (tattoo artistry, dance, the mandolin, etc.), which is frankly perfect since the Callistus-Amell bunch are great patrons of the arts, both in Tevinter and Kirkwall.

So now, with an entire library, more comfy chairs than you can shake a packet of peanuts at, and basically anything else his heart desires, Zevvo can park himself beside/on/against Rhodri and devour a pile of books, or practice the mandolin or some other instrument, do some sketching... gosh, he could do whatever he pleased. To actually have the means to pursue what he enjoys, and to actually have that encouraged by Rhodri and the family means more to him than he can find the words for. Better still, it’s not only encouraged but modelled by the rest of the family, and so he treasures the times where he and Rhod can sit together and feed their interests, and share them without fear of something awful coming from the other.

Also, not to be ridiculous, but I hc that he has a very pleasant singing voice- somewhere between baritone and tenor, I can't quite decide, but absolutely splendid vibrato either way- and if he's in the mood to have Rhodri rocking them hard enough to tip the chair over backwards, he'll take the ol' vocal cords out for a spin. Happens more often than we’d think.

As for Rhodri, she's usually reading or writing. Creative outlets done by someone's own hand are limited for Tevinter Altus. The HC here is that the Altus place such high value on convenience that they hire other people to do just about everything for them. It's a lot of work to learn to play an instrument well, or draw well, or act, or anything really. Dancing and maybe designing their own outfits would be about the limit. Maybe crafting stupendous insults to whip out in the Magisterium. Nothing beyond that, though. In practice, this means that if they want something arty, they'll hire someone for that. A singer, an artist, an actor. It's small change for them. If they’re good at it themselves, it’s by sheer miracle.

(It's been that way for ages; many Vints are under the impression that it's the same in other countries. To this day, Rhodri's father Aurelio is convinced that her mother Revka, who is a classically-trained singer, was naturally born with a beautiful voice. He has often taken umbrage to accusations (in Revka's absence, of course) that this is untrue, and swears on his own grave that his wife has never taken a music lesson in her life. Revka has no idea he is under this impression. It's gorgeous oblivion.)

They might dance!

Both of them are great on their feet and love to tear up the dance floor. The Antivan dancing style tends to be a little lacking in modesty compared to the Tevinter approach (think bachata vs. zouk, respectively), which means it's best kept for home. Better for if they're feeling energetic.

Zevran could get seized by a Fast and Ridiculous Mood. Or Rhodri could.

As it says on the tin. What usually happens is one of them ponders something absurd (e.g. 'how hard would it be to recreate a raincloud indoors?' 'will a stack of 250 pancakes weigh more than me?'). Really weird shit, and they ponder it aloud. The other one hears it and gets a wild look in their eye, and next minute you've got the love child of Jackass and Mythbusters unfolding as they get to the bottom of it.

Massage and Tevinter gestures of appreciation (SFW)

Rhod's nowhere near as good at massage as Zevran- at least initially, but has anyone else ever offered him so much as a back rub? Not on your life. She's not awful at it, just amateurish, but Zevran enjoys it all the same. Sometimes he can persuade Rhodri to let him give her one, even though it's "not his job" to do something nice for his stupid wife. Rhodri is a damned fool. Usually if he explains it's for teaching purposes, or to keep his skills current, she's much more amenable. Both are true, and they're the more palatable truths.

Rhodri's also very hung up on showing Zevran that they are equals and that she doesn't consider herself above him in any way. This is especially the case once they're back in Tevinter and it becomes quite clear that she could, in theory, exercise a lot of unfair power over him.

With that in mind, in comes my last headcanon for this question: in Tevinter and Antiva, and parts of Rivain, the feet were once-- and in some contexts still are-- considered a dirty part of the body. Kissing or washing someone's feet are the most significant displays of deference, reverence, and respect in all three nations. Unfortunately, most of the time it's done by slaves who are forced to show submission to their masters, and it's often done in public.

Now, I hope it goes without saying that Rhodri would rather display things like reverence and respect to Zev through everyday behaviour- actually asking for his opinion before reaching a decision together; doing her best to give him whatever reasonable thing he wants; checking in on him; fixing his problems wherever she can and looking ahead to anticipate what he might need, often at cost (often small, but) to her energy and time for herself. Things that actually have an impact on your life, and are petty much what her father would expect of his heir.

But these things are what she considers to be displays of genuine care for someone’s wellbeing, and tender as they might be to onlookers, she doesn’t attach too much emotional significance to them. Certainly she does them lovingly, and out of love, but also out of moral obligations. She performs them almost reflexively, because she has spent her whole life doing it and doesn’t know any different. The result of this is that they come at minimal emotional cost to her.

At the complete opposite end of this, for Rhodri at least, is feet-washing. Showing your love is one thing; showing the extent of it is quite another. There’s no practical reason to wash Zevran’s feet; he is a fastidiously clean man, and his feet are rarely dirty, especially indoors. The only real purpose to being sat down as someone gets on their knees and tenderly washes your clean feet in fragrant water is a symbolic one. And culturally speaking, a Magister kissing or washing the feet of anyone is unheard of, except perhaps for their parents, or the Archon. Her doing it to him is just bananas by Vint standards. Actually, to an outsider it's probably closer to embarrassing because it's so implausible as to seem gauche, if not outright mockery.

But Rhodri does mean it. She’s completely, deadly serious every single time, because as far as she’s concerned, this is the most truthful (and emotionally costly) way of conveying to Zevvo how highly she thinks of him and treasures him, and how she sees herself in relation to him. Rhod’s not given to talking about her emotions. Her father didn’t allow it with anyone but him, and she finds words to be frustratingly inadequate. (In fact, she was extremely distressed about one of the last letters she sent to Zevran while they were apart; he had asked her if she missed him and she considered her response woefully understated, and upon their reunion in Kirkwall, bypassed greetings and kissed his feet in front of a very astonished Fenris, Isabela, Varric, and Cousin Tank).

So in practice, expressing the depth of this particularly strong one, even to Zevran, is like offering herself up on a platter.  Especially in her case, because in her heart of hearts, she’s such a proud person, and painfully aware that whatever she does could easily be interpreted as hyperbole. In Kinloch Hold, she was roundly mocked for her rather jarring honesty (among other things), and the embarrassment of having something as tender and privately valued as the depth of her affections being mistaken for dramatics, well. I think it would be more than she could stand, and she’d never do it again. But hey, it was explained to Zevran the first time, gravely and in a very soft, embarrassed voice, and the importance was understood immediately.

And better still, Zevran relishes it. He wasn’t sure what he’d think of it at first, since it’s a rather unexpected gesture (by his standards). But yanno, Rhodri’s ‘moral obligation’ loving gestures shocked and awkward-ed the hell out of him for an entire year, and he ended up feeding off them, so. By the time his shoes were off he was convinced, and the bugger swan-dived into the affection like a hog into the trough. He sees the change that comes over her whenever they do it, and since he’s the one usually doing the opening-up emotionally, it feels good to be on the other end for a whole host of reasons. He’s encouraging and appreciative in that gentle way he has, and so she keeps offering.

Anyway, on a night in, she'll probably ask to wash his feet at the end of the evening, and he’ll accept with alacrity. The added bonus of this, of course, is that Tevinter nights are often quite warm. Even without all the humble-adoring-devoted symbolism shit, cool water on the feet before bed is the Good Stuff.

8. What happens if one of them gets sick?

Oh, it's resolved pretty quick for Zevvo. Though Rhod's not as good of a healer as her younger twin siblings, she's a dab hand at anaesthesia- both in the sense of taking away pain and sedation. Zevran's never out of sorts for too long with her to hand, and once Mazarin and Evander bustle in with some foul-tasting cure-all, the matter is resolved before the hour's out. If it takes longer, Rhodri appoints herself as both his nurse and his doctor, and keeps a close eye on him. Most of his issues are chronic, and they have detailed plans from top healers on how to manage them, so she's quick to leap into action and get him as comfy as soon as she can.

Rhod's not so good at being unwell, unfortunately. Not on her own. There are a lot of things that make her uncomfortable in everyday life. Loud noises, certain fabrics, tight shoes, weird temperatures... it's all go in Autism Land. Usually, the way illness manifests in her is that her skin aches. Just a full-body oversensitivity. Light touches are especially painful; clothes or skin glancing over skin are agony. She can't get comfortable; it's always at the forefront of her mind, and it's so distracting that she can't always puzzle out what the bloody problem is before a meltdown is imminent.

Zevran, bless him, only needed to witness this once; now he can spot it from a mile away. Once she starts trying to straitjacket herself with her robes, or she flinches when he touches her, he'll let her know his suspicion that she's not well and she'll arrange for the healer. Even knowing why she's uncomfortable helps, but sparing her pride by letting her sort it out herself is a kindness that she appreciates so much. He'll help out if the pain is stopping her from getting it done, or get her father to do it, but most of the time that's not necessary. Smart feller, that Zevvo.

30. Your OTP gets to pick out each other's outfits; what is each wearing?

Somewhat unsure, I tried to ask Rhodri what she'd do for Zevran, and she flat-out refused to participate. As far as she's concerned, it's not an appropriate thing to do when elves are commodified for their looks and have had very little agency over their bodies in general. On top of that, in the event her outfit selection deviated from any of Zevran’s own personal style preferences, she would be horrified if he started doing that thing just to please her. She wasn’t having a bar of Zevran’s gentle reassurances that that wouldn’t happen if she didn’t want it to. If we can put that all aside and delve into her reptile brain, though, where such notions float around unformed and certainly unsaid, she'd probably kit him out in the flowy Antivan shirts he's fond of, in the very finest silks. Complements his shoulders, and better still if it’s tucked in to show off his waistline. The shirt's probably in a jewel colour- purple is my first guess. Tan breeches made of top-notch Antivan leather, and boots of the same, rounded off with an embossed leather belt. Jewellery, especially gold and with precious stones, would be worn generously- possibly more than Zevran would usually wear. (Rhod's got the most awful weak spot for seeing him wear finery that he enjoys, and sometimes she does just take it a little further than necessary). Fingers, toes, ears, neck, wrists-- a nose ring, if he fancies... hell, if he’ll let someone weave filigree gold chain into his braids, it’ll be done.

Zevran has absolutely no problem with kitting Rhodri out for the day, mostly because he knows she wouldn't wear anything she didn't want to, so if he chose something out of the ordinary and she wanted to wear it to please him, it'd have to please her as well. (he sighs and quietly wishes she'd feel the same in regard to him, but what can one do?)

That said, what he’d want choose for her outfit isn’t something she tends to wear any more. As a child, she absolutely did, and the rest of her family certainly dress in it now, but her own pair is much simpler than theirs: traditional Tevinter loungewear. He’d kit her out in an exquisite robe made of Imperial vestment cotton, in peacock green, royal blue, or deep red with gold chain detailing around the seams. It’d be a short-ish wraparound robe that came to the hips or mid-thigh paired with matching pants and a pair of soft shoes.

If Rhodri were really willing to humour him, Zevran would go ham accessorising her, too. Earrings, chain finger rings, cuff bracelets, one of those decorative headchains... she wouldn’t look out of place on the front cover of Lonely Planet: Tevinter edition.

42. What’s their favourite type of weather to enjoy together? (getting snowed in together, watching snowstorms, etc.)

Ahhh, you know what? They’re tropical babies. The year in Ferelden (plus the other twelve in Kinloch Hold for Rhodders), was spent missing the humid afternoon weather. The hot day in both Minrathous and Antiva City builds all through the morning and midday into a swelter, clouds gather, and the air is heavy and exhausting. People who can wangle it will take cover with a cool drink and good company (book or person), or a bed, and spend the next hour enjoying the flash of relief as the rain clears out the humidity and the thunder/lightning gives them something to watch.

Rhodri and Zevran make time to enjoy it together as often as they possibly can, often daily. Usually, especially since she was cured of the Taint, Rhodri’s pretty dozy by this point in the day, and Zevran won’t say no to extra rest either, so they’ll often take the opportunity to sprawl out on a day bed in the observatory or, when the heat’s especially oppressive, outside undercover. Say a few words, knock back a cool drink, and then drift off to sleep. What more could a person want?

[ishibishie]

it's 1am and i don't feel like going to bed so! while looking at all my art mindlessly i noticed that one of my pride pieces this year had a bunch of cute references to Stuff i never explained so 6 weeks later. explaining random details in a post nobody saw because tumblr fucked up my tags that week

this is the piece i'm talking about! you will see right away that holy shit that jacket is covered in stuff. each little patch on steven's jacket means something! which is what i'm going to explain below lol

first! the patch on his right sleeve reads "MSC" and is a design i've reused a few times with steven! it's a parody of nasa's logo, msc meaning mossdeep space center :)

on his left sleeve:

-aro/ace flags because You Know

-the number 3, as seen in the anime for the masters 8!

-the yellow design is the gorgeous royal ribbon from the mainline games! he has the money to burn on this shit

-the number "15" which is based on goroawase, or japanese number wordplay. in this case, the number 1 can be read as "bi" and 5 as "ka." together you get "bika" which doesn't mean anything in this context, but since the japanese "n" sound has no goroawase At All, it's fair game to shove an n sound anywhere you want, which i have chosen to shove in the middle. thus, 15 can be read as "binka" which is vinca. it's periwinkles. also a cute jab towards galar who does this wordplay for their characters he's galarian i said so

the actual jacket itself:

-the wyndon monorail logo! my favorite steven headcanon is that he's half galarian so it's just another cute ref to that :)

-hoenn ranger guy. it's morbin' time?

-a treble clef. pokemon masters has confirmed he's good at singing!

-ace of spades card, this is a term some aroace people use (alloromantic aces will use ace of hearts btw!)

-the steel type icon from swsh (i think)

-milotic tail, you know why

-a gem from pokemon masters because god knows how many of my gems this man owns (more than 1)

-a pokeball but gay

-just a simple crown! i have written an essay on steven and prince symbolism before read that too :) also the gems in the crown are red blue and green, ruby sapphire and emerald

-his sunglasses from his summer alt in masters! he finally found them

-mega stone but heart shaped because it's cute

-the pokemon contest spectacular logo! i also headcanon him as a big contest fanboy heehee

the two on his collar:

-the dynamax symbol, yet another ref to how i think he's galarian :)

-hoenn league ribbon! specifically the one he gives you in oras with the two different colored lace parts

and there you go, explaining very minor design choices in self-indulgent art i made over a month ago :)

[tre1awny]

“ what are you doing?” from Charles hehe

he lifts his head.     spread out across the table are playbills. some new, some old, all of them equal in their worth to him. josiah smiles, almost roguish, and picks up a playbill — featuring a renowned singer coming to saint denis all the way from the state of new york by train — for charles to see. ❝ contemplating, my dear man. ❞ contemplating, of course, is a strong word. it’s more like he’s... shuffling thoughts together into a plan, the way one might try to take wet clay and form it into a vase, or perhaps a bowl.

he’s never tried his hand at pottery, although he’s always had some fondness for the arts. the playbill boasts all about how spectacular marie dupont is, how wonderful it is to hear her sing. unique, claims the advertisement, like no other! a must-see if you happen to be in town! josiah’s never seen her perform, before, so he’s inclined to give her the benefit of the doubt and believe it. everyone, after all, is like no other until they very much are. next to the stack of playbills sits a few train tickets that he’d wheedled alden into giving him. not an easy feat, but after the promise of a shared drink and an in-depth discussion on the unionization of train station employees, a topic which josiah knows only a little about but which alden is very knowledgeable on, he’d agreed.

it hadn’t been the worst evening, but it’d been up there. all that to say — josiah stands, and leans in near charles to tap twice on the playbill. ❝ this woman, mademoiselle marie dupont, is a reputable singer from the east coast, or possibly france, and, if the rumors are true, very rich. ❞ charles can probably already see where this is going, josiah assumes.  ❝ in a few days’ time she’ll be passing through the emerald ranch train station on her way to saint denis; when her train is stopped, i’d like to see what i can do to talk her out of some of that money. not all of it, of course. just enough. ❞ marie, as it turns out, is quite ( ! ) the philanthropist, as well as an art collector, and he’s been trying to conjure up some story about his integral role in saint denis’ art society for close to a week.

he believes he has the details worked out, but, unfortunately, the flaws don’t usually expose themselves across a work of art until you’ve pulled the hot clay from the fire. something like that, anyways. again, he’s never actually bothered to try. he doesn’t think he’d be very good at it, truth be told. he looks up at charles, brows raised in amusement :   ❝ you’re more than welcome to come along, if you’d like. you can see me talk my way into trouble and then promptly talk my way out of it. it’s not your traditional stagecoach robbery, but... ❞ he lifts one shoulder, in an attempt at a casual shrug. he’s grateful enough that charles and arthur went out of their way to rescue him, and, in his own way, he’s been aching to pay them back for the kindness. this life doesn’t suit well for bargains, but josiah personally likes to think that’s how he summons up such good luck when he really needs it the most. 

— @diamuerte   /     ask meme.  

[isozyme]

what is funny about ad Reinhardt and yves Klein? i want to be let in on the joke

so yves klein was a color field painter, also known as those guys who just paint a canvas blue, all blue, all the same color of blue, and sell it for a shitton of money. actually when it came to blue, yves klein was kind of The Guy. 

BLUE

but back before all the fame and the blue, he made “yves peintures,” which was a catalog of his monochromes, pictured here:

the joke is that it’s bullshit! it’s just squares of construction paper glued on the page with little titles written below them. even the preface isn’t a preface -- it’s just horizontal lines that he had a buddy of his sign with his name. one time yves klein and his art pals all hyped up a big big gallery show that he was opening. a solo exhibition! very exciting! all the critics and fancy motherfuckers showed up -- three thousand people came. with great drama, they were led into a completely empty gallery. “welcome,” yves klein said. “I call it THE SPECIALIZATION OF SENSIBILITY IN THE RAW MATERIAL STATE INTO STABILIZED PICTORIAL SENSIBILITY, LE VIDE (THE VOID).” he was, in every way, a total fucker who loved bright colors and pranking the art world.

meanwhile, ad reinhardt -- what’s ad reinhardt’s gig?

ad reinhardt’s gig is BLACK

more specifically, black-on-black grids of very slightly varying shades of black, applied in a very matte, powdery way that left the paintings with almost no sheen. it’s a pretty cool effect in person (if vantablack 2.0 had been a thing in the 50s, ad reinhardt would have busted a nut)

unfortunately, the way he did the paint makes the paintings incredibly difficult to maintain. if you touch one, the oils on your hands will immediately stain the painting, and it can’t be cleaned or repaired.

“no prob, bob,” ad reinhardt said to the flustered museum curators and collectors. “if you mess it up i’ll just replace it.”

“but what about our original ad reinhardt!” said the curators and collectors

“yeah i’ll replace it,” ad reinhardt said, “with the same original painting but not fucked up.” this caused some consternation

incidentally, he also made this small comic, which never fails to tickle me:

YOU, SIR, ARE A SPACE TOO!

one of my real favorite artworks in this vein is by robert rauschenberg, and i’m going to include the story of it because it makes me very happy. rauschenberg was an insane post-modernist -- one of his most famous pieces includes a taxidermy goat with paint thrown all over it and a car tire around its neck, that kind of thing -- and i love his piece titled “erased de kooning drawing”

so willem de kooning was the husband of elaine de kooning, who painted sick abstract expressionist portraits and was slamming hot

wow

willem was also an artist, and kind of a big deal in his own right, and friends with rauschenberg

one day rauschenberg calls him up like “hey i have an idea for a collaboration between us two art bastards. i need you to do me a drawing, in pencil”

and willem said “why”

and rauschenberg said “wouldn’t you like to know”

and willem said “why”

and rauschenberg said “because i’m gay, give it”

and willem said “that’s not a reason”

and rauschenberg said “fine, i wanna make a commentary on the value of art even after it’s destroyed and palimpsests and ephemerality and shit i guess, so i need a drawing by a famous dude to erase, and you’re famous”

willem de kooning said “okay” and proceeded to find the wettest, most difficult to erase grease pencil in his studio, which he then used to make several drawings until he came up with one he liked and sent it to rauschenberg

and to his credit, rauschenberg erased that motherfucker. he put in the effort. in a spectacular show of spite countering spite, he very nearly got rid of it all. look at this shit:

if that almost-blank piece of paper isn’t a work of art, i don’t know what is

[eppysboys]

Would you say that the 80s were a good time for Paul?

Who can have a consistently good decade? I mean really :| Not in these conditions! Not in this society! No sir!

But, that's me talking, the focus is on Paul, so I'll give a quick rundown for you, anon. 

(You gotta imagine the Looney Tunes intro music)

(Graphic Design is my passion)

1980: Paul has just bounced off of a spectacular decade of work, critical acclaim and packed tours. He's a bit 'tired' of Wings, however. Some members of Wings feel the same way. Paul arrives in Japan and gets arrested for bringing a bag of weed. Not good! There's talk of 'seven years in prison' and 'hard labour'. The tour is cancelled, money is lost in the form of compensation to promoters and band members. Paul is doing his absolute best to cope. Lee Eastman to the rescue! After nine days in prison, Paul is free. Back on track! He wins just about every award and popularity poll there is. He's working hard and collaborating with friends. McCartney II bursts out and zooms straight to number one. Wings are 'flapped and folded' in the eyes of the world.

John is murdered, Paul is devastated. The press are hounding him for interviews and quotes and photographs. John is martyred, the legends grow, and Paul is understandably frustrated by this as he grapples with his own personal grief.

At the start of 1981, a 'fan' with a knife tries to break into Paul's home, thankfully no one is harmed, Paul has more security measures put in place. In Feburary 1981, Paul officially goes back to work. Tensions rise between him and Denny Laine, given that Tug of War wasn't being recorded for a 'group format' and other personal issues. Old friends fly in to help out on the album. Paul picks up painting 'properly' (his words) and all sorts of visual art. The Beatles’ greatest hits are selling fast and continously. Tug of War does wonderfully well! Yay!

Gonna be real with you chief, I don't know much about business and money and rights to intangible things. So, while I may not be a smart bug, I can put it this way: Paul is given the chance to buy back his songs, his babies!, in the form of Northern Songs. He calls Yoko, suggesting that they both pay half (10 million pounds each) so that the rights can go back to their rightful owners (alright?). The price is bumped up for whatever business reasons (there was probbaly a briefcase involved 👀), and there were other obligations he'd have to agree to, so he passes on the offer. Give My Regards to Broadstreet is made. His friends like it, but he is also warned the public may not...

Michael Jackson asks for Paul financial advice. Paul is always happy to help out a friend! :) So he does, recommending he get into music publishing. That's great advice, Paul! What a good buddy to have. Paul's reputation takes a few hits with some bad publicity made up of: sour bandmates going public, a woman claiming Paul is her father, the Sunday mail publishing an article questioning the 'state of the McCartney's' marriage, people going to auction with things that Paul claims are his and not theirs to sell and those people telling the press all about it.

Robert Fraser, a good friend to the McCartneys, passes away. Paul meets with George and Ringo and proposes a documentary about The Beatles. George isn't thrilled with the idea, he doesn't want to revisit 1969.

Pipes of Peace is released. Not quite a smash hit with the critics, but it did quite well! The McCartney's fly over to Barbados - Ruh roh! Busted for pot again! They plead guilty and are fined. Denny Laine interviews are floating around, and John Lennon biographies are flying off shelves. Give My Regards To Broadstreet is released to the public. Not good :| Public opinion dipping...

Feburary 1985: George + Ringo + Yoko file a lawsuit against Paul for breach of contract. 'The gist of the complaint was that Paul was 'enjoying a preferential royalty rate from 'historic recordings as a marterial incentive for him to re-sign with Capitol as a solo artist.' *eyes are glazing over*

Paul performs at Live Aid- Oh hold on, what's this? Michael Jackson has purchased the ATV Music catalouge - he now owns Paul's babies, after just having recently stayed in the McCartney family home and watched Winnie the Pooh movies with his kids :| But it's okay, Michael Jackson 'cried so much' about it, he feels bad, you guys :( Not bad enough to organise any sort of deal that would help Paul out a bit, but you know, bad enough to cry a little.

Business is doing well, though, Paul re-signs with Capitol Records and MPL is growing and growing. Paul puts Thatcher on blast in the form of a letter >:) He and Elvis Costello collaborate, magic is in the air. He puts out a Greatest Hits CD that everyone loves. A new manager comes along and encourages Paul to tour. The Beatles get honoured by the RRHF - Paul swings back and forth between wanting to go and not wanting to go. He does not go.

Paul explains to the press that the only reason he hasn't been touring lately is that he just hasn't 'been bothered ... And nobody asked me. Nobody asked me personally.' He was enjoying himself just being around his family and the studio, he explains. He gets an honourary doctorate from his old school and raises money to help refurbish the place.

Albert Goldman's book about John is released in spite of and because he clearly doesn't like John very much - which flicks a particular switch in Paul's brain (the orange one). He starts talking about John much more frequently in interviews after keeping some reasonable walls up about it all to the press. I should have probably mentioned that Yoko and Michael have been chummy throughout this entire ordeal, making deals to benefit them and leave Paul......well, not benefitted. Yoko tells the press that Paul never helped her and John get back together and that Paul was the Salieri to John's Mozart. :| Sean appears in Michael's film Moonwalker.

More awards, more packed shows, more success. He doesn't slow down for a second, touring all over the place. The press are often mean to him because they hate to see an older gentlemen succeed 😤 They're also not impressed with 'stadium rock' in general and the usual bag of tricks that comes with it. Nevermind that, though, because there are sold out gigs all over the place and the press was favourable in many places. Flowers in the Dirt is a success and is raved about everywhere. Woopie!!! Harrison, Starr, Ono vs McCartney is settled out of court. Still, tensions remain. Paul puts stuff in his tour programme (free) that rattles someone somewhere. ('I'm not trying to say it was all me ... But I do think John's avant-garde period later, was really to give himself a go at what he'd seen me having a go at.')

Yoko tells a BBC children's show (a hilarious set up for this quote tbh) "I know Paul thinks he was leading, or something like that ... The way John led the band was very high level, on some kind of magical level. Not a daily level like Paul saying, "Oh, but I was the one who told them all to come and do it. I made the phone calls." John did not make the phone calls. He wasn't on that level ... He was on the level of a spiritual leader, a seer, and that's why the Beatles happened."

December 1989 Paul plays MSG and has a wonderful time. He heads home and makes more music which becomes the soundtrack to Geoff Dunbar's short 'Duamier's Law' which premiered at Cannes Film Festival in 1992. The kicker? He did it anonymously. The panel hail it as an obscure and submersive masterpiece, obviously without a clue that it was done by the most commercially successful pop star musician of all time with his own giant company, earning millions of dollars a week.

And that's that! Decade done with! Some highs (ha!) and lows and places in between, but Paul is the ultimate comeback kid.

[harryspet]

off to the races (2) s.rogers

[Warnings] dark!steve rogers x reader, stripper!reader, ddlg, daddy!steve, abduction/kidnapping, mafia boss steve, bondage, a hint of peter x reader, toxic/abusive relationship, hella angst, little editing 

A/N: im mentally shutting down because of school but at least i have mob!steve :)

In which you don’t want to be Daddy’s secret anymore.

word count: 3.5k

main masterlist

taglist: @cherienymphe @peterztinglez @lovelynerdytraveler @buckysbunny @hollandsdream @micki-smiles @buckybarnesplumwhore @arts-ismything @saharzek @lovemassivelybeautifulbouquet @what-is-your-wish @brattypeony @hermayone @buckysugar @mischiefmanaged011 @visintaes​  @disaster-rose​​ @sexyxseabassx​ @marvelmaree​

“Woah, dude, your room is awesome. Awe, you have all the good movies. I haven’t seen The Jungle Book in forever!” 

“Peter, look!” You waved him over to the window, ignoring his astonishment for the paradise Steve had created for you. Peter stood there dumbly for a moment before walking over to the window beside your bed. 

You heard the loud whirring of helicopter spinning blades echoing through the room even with the window closed. It was landing in the field behind the manor and you were questioning why Steve was making such a grand entrance today. You’d been stuck in this house for three weeks now and nothing this exciting had happened yet, “Who’s helicopter is that?” You looked back at Peter who’d crossed his arm nervously. 

“Uhm … probably … maybe-” You scoffed, before looking back at the view. The helicopter was a sleek, black color and, as you narrowed, your eyes could make out some words written in gold. 

“Stuh …. Stark …. Industries. Stark Industries,” You were calm as you took in the info before the realization hit you, “Stark Industries! Is Tony Stark here? Holy …. pancakes.”

Peter smiled, seemingly amused by your excitement, “Pancakes?”

“Steve doesn’t like it when I-” You stopped yourself from explaining, realizing there was a bigger situation at hand, “We have to go check things out. Get a closer look!”

“No way,” Peter shook his head, “I’m here to make sure you stay in this room.”

You rolled your eyes, “So Tony Stark must be here then, right?”

“I can neither confirm nor deny that,” Peter pressed his lips together like he was struggling to hold in all the secrets he knew. 

“How the hell does Steve know Tony Stark? Stark is dirty too? I should’ve known … flipping rich people.”

“Flipping?”

You took a step toward him and despite the fact you were wearing a pair of fairy wings, he still seemed intimidated by you, “What do you want, huh? A raise?”

“Uhm … I don’t think you can do that … can you?”

“Of course I can. Steve is wrapped around my finger.”

Peter cocked an eyebrow, “But he’s Steve Rogers …”

“Look around this room for goodness sake! He does anything I want. If I tell him all about how you’re a great worker, how you’re a good friend to me, he’ll surely be appreciative. Might even give you a promotion and maybe you won't have to play babysitter anymore.”

He considers it just for a moment, “If he does anything you want then why are you locked in this house?”

“Fine, fine, so I don’t have complete control but I have some. I could be helpful to you in the future!” 

“Y/N, if something went wrong he’d probably chop me up into little pieces and send them to my Aunt. Or he’d chop up my aunt and make me watch … depends on the kinda mood he’s in.”

You stared back at him, trying not to let the look on your face falter, “ … I’ll give you my movie collection?” 

“I’m sorry but-”

“It’s my birthday soon?”

“I can’t,” Peter stated, sighing, “I’ve got pressure on me right now, and things have to go right tonight. It’s like a huge deal. I never get to go to stuff and the party is-” He stopped his rambling when he realized he’d said too much. 

“Party?” Peter opened his mouth and closed it again. He turned away from you, eyes wide, and made his way to the door. Of course, you chased after him, placing yourself between him and the door, “What party?”

“Please move,” Peter begged, “I really can’t talk about it.”

“I won’t say anything, I promise!” You were the one begging now, “He doesn’t tell me anything at all. Can you imagine how I’m feeling? I’ll do everything you say, I won’t try anything, I just want to know what's going on …. please?”

“Steve can’t know,” You nodded eagerly and he finally gave in, probably because of your spectacular puppy dog eyes, “Tony Stark is having a party tonight, that’s where Steve’s going, and most of us are going to. A pretty important deal is happening.”

“Why doesn’t Steve want me to go?” You frowned a bit.

“I don’t think he wants anybody to know about you, to keep you safe, that kind of thing.”

“Right,” You nodded, “Even if I go crazy while he does that.”

Peter looked sympathetic, “I’m sorry.”

“I know this thing with me and Steve is not ordinary but is it crazy of me to not want to be a secret? Even after everything …”

You could tell Peter wasn’t expecting a deep question nor did he expect you’d confide in him, “I don’t think so,” Peter was trying to understand, you could see it in his eyes. He rubbed the back of his neck as if he wasn’t sure, “Obviously … you - uhm - care about him. I wouldn’t want to be the secret of someone I care about.”

He was taken aback when you suddenly hugged him. Unsure if he could hug you back, he awkwardly patted your shoulder which made you giggle, “Can I paint your nails?”

“What? No.”

“I have colors that aren’t girly.” “Hmm … can you do cool stuff like the shapes and sparkles?”

“Of course,�� You smiled, “Step into my salon.”

+

“I didn’t get my sticker this week,” You bounced back from your toes to your heels, watching Steve as he got ready in his closet. He was fixing his tie in the mirror, making sure it was absolutely perfect, along with the rest of the look. Freshly trimmed beard and an aftershave that smells intoxicating. He smelt like money and looked like it too. That’s probably exactly how you would want to look in front of Tony Stark. 

“You skipped dinner two days in a row, doll.”

You were frowning but it wasn’t like he was focused on you anyways, “But I did better after that,” You whined.

“I know, baby, you can try again next week.”

“Maybe if you were here then I wouldn’t have missed it,” You whispered, playing with your fingernails, “But I’m stuck here and you get to go out and have your fun.”

“Have my fun?” He questioned, buttoning up his jacket. 

“You get home so late … I’m sure you go to your clubs, booze it up and talk to girls.”

He chuckled a bit, “You think I’m flirting with other women?”

“I don’t think, I know,” You leaned against the doorway, “You’re a guy, aren’t you? That’s what you do.”

He finally turned to you, and you felt your breath hitch in your throat. He was as handsome as ever, like a movie star, “Doll, my days are long because I’m traveling from here to the city every day. I want to fall asleep and wake up with you. There isn’t and never will be anyone who I’d rather do that with.” 

As he came closer, you knew he was going to lift you into his arms. Ever since he took you from the club and you sobbed into his shoulders, you’d find solace in his arms. Even if his hands were causing your hurting, they still felt warm and loving, “You don’t mean that,” You whispered, muffled against his shoulder. 

“What can I do to prove it to you?”

“Take me with you,” You said and you felt him stiffen. 

“It’s not safe,” He tried to explain. 

“Are you embarrassed by me?” 

“No, no,” He rushed out, carrying you out of the closet and into the bedroom. “Why would you even ask that?”

“Because of what I do, what I used to do-”

“No, Y/N. I’ve never felt that way,” His tone was more concerned that it ever had been before, “Look at me, please?”

Begrudgingly, you lifted your head. You hated that you were feeling jealous or inadequate, “You took care of yourself all these years and I know you still can,” He continued, “Let me protect you now.”

“I’m not a baby.”

Steve could sense the small bit of pride still left in you and decided not to push you on it anymore, “Could’ve fooled me,” Steve smiled slightly, bouncing you in his arms, “Let me tuck you in, grumpy.”

“The sun just set!” 

“It wasn’t actually a request,” He was already carrying you away. 

“Wait, wait, wait,” You resisted, “Can I sleep in here? I’ll go to sleep right away, I promise.”Steve stopped, thinking it over for a moment, “I like that the … sheets smell like you, Daddy,” You added, knowing that was what he wanted to hear. It wasn’t fully a lie but you had other motives for not wanting to go back to your room. For one, your room locked from the outside and his didn’t. Besides that, you were almost sure that one of your stuffed bears had a camera inside its eye. 

Steve tucked you into his california king-sized bed that night and watched you fall asleep until it was time for him to go. You felt the kiss he pressed to your forehead and, for a brief moment, you thought about changing your plans. 

That feeling didn’t last long. 

+

For such an expensive car, you thought your ride would be a lot smoother and much more comfortable. Turns out, hiding in any trunk, no matter how luxurious, behind big boxes of unknown items, was not a pleasant experience. An hour into the drive, you finally decided that you’d had enough and you needed to get the feeling back into your limbs. Besides that, you needed to check and make sure that your hair and makeup stayed in place. 

When you climbed over the seat from the trunk to the backseat, the car instantly swerved before the driver corrected its path, “Y/N, holy shit!” Peter shouted, obviously frightened out of his mind but you were focused on making sure all the layers of your dress made it safely back into their places, “What the fuck? What the actual fuck?”

“Oh, calm down,” You said, looking at him through the rearview, “Just keep driving.”

“Are you out of your mind? If Steve sees you he’s going flip his shit!” 

“Peter, you okay in there, kid?” You heard Bucky’s staticky voice over Peter’s radio. The younger man picked it up and answered, his eyes still focused on you. 

You placed a finger over your lips and Peter gave you a death stare, “Yeah, I’m fine … I thought I saw a squirrel.”

A caravan of three cars surrounded Steve’s car as they all drove down this dark, winding road that you assumed would lead to Tony Stark’s mansion, “Did you not comprehend a single word I said?” Peter shouted, “Do you want me to get killed?”

“This is my problem,” You said, “Steve will know that you had nothing to do with it, I promise. But tonight is going to go super well so it won’t even matter. Steve is going to see me and realize he’s crazy not to show me off and then we’re going to go to the party and I’m going to charm everyone with my personality which is going to make him a ton of friends and even more money. Everyone wins.”

Peter was shaking his head the entire time as he listened to your rambling,  “Y/N, I understand that you want to be more to Steve and you don’t want to be in the dark but this isn’t the way! This isn’t some charity event or some art gala, these are dangerous people.”

“But Tony Stark-”

“Is as dirty as it gets,” Your heart began to race a bit, “And Steve cannot just let everyone know his biggest weakness, even if they are his allies.”

His biggest weakness. 

Suddenly, your mind was racing with thoughts of moments with Steve. Meeting him, going on your first dates, the hotel meetings, and the passionate kisses that always left you feeling like he felt more about you than he admitted. You never saw yourself as his weakness. 

I want to fall asleep and wake up next to you. 

When you snapped out of your trance, Peter had his walkie-talkie pressed to his chin, “Guys, uhm, we have a stowaway,” You slumped back in your seat, and when the car eventually came to a stop, you wished you were still tucked away in Steve’s bed. You think Peter was calling your name, probably apologizing and telling you how he had to follow orders but, honestly, you had tuned him out, “I-I don’t know …. I thought I checked everything …”

Your dress was adorable too, covered in pastels, while still remaining elegant. You imagined Steve's heart with flutter at the sight of you, instead, he was fuming. He was always so stoic, so full of composure, that the change frightened you. He grabbed you roughly by your upper arm, pulling you from the backseat, and slamming the door shut. Pressed against the car, you looked into those blue-green eyes that were anything except nice. 

“I didn’t mean to for all this,” Was all you could muster up the courage to say, “I just wanted to come with you-”

He shushed you before you got your words out, “We’ll talk about it later.”

You wished he would just yell at you now. He could bend you over right now and you’d prefer that over his silence and the obvious disappointment in his tone, “Later? But-” He pulled you away from the car and you stumbled in your heels as he pulled you along the dark road. 

He brought you towards the last car in the caravan and Sam stepped out from behind it, closing the trunk, before handing something shiny to Steve, “What are you doing?” You asked shakily, the cold wind of the night blowing your dress. 

“Turn around, face the car,” He ordered you and you feared whatever punishment you were about to receive would be worse if you disobeyed him. Slowly, you turned around and he wasted no time grabbing your wrist. You heard the metal click of handcuffs as they tightened around your wrist. You felt his strong hands on your waist and, as he lifted your dress, you assumed the worst. Your panties slipped down and as Steve lowered himself with them. 

“Steve, please talk to me?”

To your surprise, as you stepped out of your underwear, you felt the click of metal around your ankles. When he stood back up, he grabbed your arm again, pulling you back so you were pressed against his chest, “Daddy will deal with you later,” His breath against your ear sent shivers down your spine, “Don’t worry, doll … open your mouth.”

“If you just let me explain-”

You weren’t sure why you even wanted to. He left your brain scrambled and wondering why you even did the things that you did. 

“I won’t ask you again.”

Your lips parted and you realized he was forcing your panties into your mouth. The next thing that you knew, you were lying in the back seat of that car, your wrist hogtied to your ankles. And you thought sitting in the trunk would be uncomfortable. You were struggling and calling out for him and, as you expected, you were ignored. 

“Get her back as fast as you can. I’ll keep things short with Stark,” Were the last words you heard before the door shut close and all your screaming was muffled. 

+

You weren’t sure at which point you’d fallen asleep. As you laid there tied up, you thought a lot about him since there was nothing else to think about. You weren’t sure how he could love you and be so cruel at the same time.  

That next morning, you awoke to sore limbs and makeup staining your pillow. Even though the car ride back was hell, you knew your punishment wasn’t over. You debated even getting out of bed, knowing what was to come. 

You finally mustered the energy to clean yourself up, washing your face, and brushing your teeth. When you stepped back into your room, you were taken aback by what was sitting in the middle of your room. A giant, life-size brown bear was happily perched before your bed, holding balloons and a Tiffany’s gift bag. 

It was exactly the opposite of what you were expecting today. You approached it cautiously, decided to sit and open up the present. You handled the bag carefully, finding an elegant white card sitting inside. 

For my favorite girl on her birthday.

Love, Daddy. 

You sighed, knowing he probably picked all of this out before you betrayed him and probably ruined any sort of trust he had between you. You hadn’t even realized it was your birthday which was probably due to the fact that you had no phone or any contact with the outside world. There was also a jewelry box inside, a gorgeous, rose-gold tennis bracelet inside. 

As you snapped it around your wrist, covering your bruises, you promised not to ask how much it cost. It would probably make you feel even worse about yesterday. 

You finished getting dressed, deciding to head downstairs for breakfast. You found Steve sitting at a table out by the pool, reading through a newspaper like a grandpa. It seemed like he was expecting you because there were pancakes and eggs waiting on the table, “Morning,” You greeted awkwardly. 

“Good morning, doll. Happy Birthday,” He responded, his eyes still focused on the newspaper. 

“Thanks,” Taking a seat in front of him, you instantly moved to grab the syrup, but the rings on his finger caught your attention. Below, you could see his knuckles were red and purple, bruised like he’d been punching something … or someone. “Your hands …” 

He folded his newspaper, taking a look at them himself. It didn’t seem to faze him as he folded them on his stomach, leaning back in his chair, “Your wrist,” He changed the subject and you wondered if he was amused by the fear in your eyes, “Do you like my gift?”

“Yeah, it’s beautiful, I love it … thank you,” Your mind was elsewhere, “What happened to your hands? Is that from last night?”

“Last night is a blur. I was so angry after your little stunt, I had to have a few drinks to even get through the rest of the night.”

“Really?” You tried to hold in your scoff, “You seem very chipper today.”

“Only because I get to see your beautiful face,” He countered, smirking. 

Your eyes narrowed at him, “What did you do?”

“That’s a broad question-”

“Did you hurt him?”

“Him?” Steve raised an eyebrow, “You mean Peter? I thought about it … I’m still thinking about it actually. If he was smarter, yesterday would have never happened but you must’ve been pretty convincing. Poor kid, he probably thought you liked him.”

“None of it was his fault! I-I was just being stupid, I was using him and he was just trying to be a good guy. Steve, please.”

“If I did, you would probably start to actually listen. You’d never try one of those crazy stunts ever again-”

“I will listen! No more stunts, I’ll be an angel from now on,” You stood up from your chair, moving around the table, “I know you’re just trying to protect me. Peter tried to tell me that and I should’ve listened.” You grabbed a hold of his hand, squeezing it tightly. 

“That’s all I want,” He added sincerely and you nodded. 

“I’ll pinky promise,” With your other hand, you held out your pinky. You thought Peter would be your way out but, here you were, begging to stay in order to keep him alive. Your pinkies wrapped around each other and you climbed into his lap. You kissed the sides of his mouth before kissing his lips. 

“Soon, we’ll take a trip together, I know you’re itching to get away.” 

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” You kissed his lips again, “Your hands … what actually happened?”

“Punching bag,” He easily explained although you were expecting a tale of horror. Holding his hand, you brought his fist to your lips, kissing them gently, “That probably wouldn’t have happened a year ago … I think you make me more gentle.”

“That’s a lot of pressure, don’t you think? Turning a beast into a prince.”

“For some reason, I have faith in you.”

+

“Peter!” You perked up as soon as he entered the living room, not realizing how grateful to see that he was still in one piece. Sam, Bucky, and Steve seemed to exchange confused glances from their places on the couch. 

Peter seemed baffled as well, “Am I in trouble or something?”

“No, we’re about to watch Coco. Wanna join?”

“There’s popcorn,” Sam added, stuffing his face.

“And cookies,” Bucky chimed in. 

Peter smiled, unsure, as he looked to Steve for permission, “Join us, son.”

“Awesome,” Peter clapped, making his way over to the couch, “This one always makes me cry.”

“Y/N, I thought you said this one wasn’t sad,” Bucky eyed you. You shrugged, snuggling yourself further into Steve’s side. You tried to hide a mischievous smile and act like you weren’t hoping to see three grown men tear up from a Disney movie. 

“Okay, press play,” You tapped Steve’s chest and he raised the remote. 

“Wait,” Steve paused, “Are all three of your nails painted?”

+

i’m thinking maybe i’ll make a christmas themed part 3, we shall see :)

[hops-hunny]

Girls Like Her

Pairing: Kyoya Ootori x Black!Reader

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 1.7k

Request: N/A

Summary: In which Kyoya is smitten and not afraid to show it.

Warnings: None! Fluff.

A/N: this is so self indulgent and I don't even care I NEEDED some Kyoya with a black girl bc where's all the color in the ouran community??

Kyoya had a fine eye for spectacular things. Running the host club with Tamaki required it. He was always looking for something of interest that he knew the guest would like and that would bring in a nice bit of money as well. That's why he was mesmerized when he saw (Y/n). Sure, Kyoya had seen girls that were deemed "beautiful" by whatever measure of beauty the rest of his high class socialite peers thought. However, he had never put much thought into what he personally found beautiful but now thanks to her, he didn't need to.

Sure he had seen women with nice skin. It wasn't very uncommon. Going to school with girls whose parents made most people's yearly salary in a day meant they were well cared for. They took care of their skin with the finest of products, as did he. However her skin was unmatched. Nice hues of brown which glowed beautifully in the soft daylight of music room 3. Not a blemish or wrinkle in sight. Smooth and brown all over like a bewitching goddess. And sure other girls had hair. It was all a blur to him however, nothing he could point out or was anything but ordinary. All of it was the same straight hair in the same bland style. But hers however?

She wore some of the most elaborate styles he had ever seen. He didn't know the proper names for them at first but the more she visited the host club, the more he'd overhear her speak about them to the other guest. Box braids, goddess twist, faux locs. Each style suited and complimented her well. Anytime she'd change it up he'd observe it carefully, viewing every bump and turn on the art that was her hair. His favorite though was when she'd wear it naturally.

 God was it a sight. A large, picked to perfection afro atop her head like the crown a princess, no, a queen of her caliber should have. It reminded him of the clouds in the sky he'd see on a nice summer afternoon except far more eye catching and far more mesmerizing.

"Tamaki?" Kyoya questioned, looking up at his blonde friend. The last few of the guest had trickled out by now.

"Yes mommy dear?" He quipped, walking over to his raven haired friend.

"Is there a reason we don't see Lady (L/n) any time other than the host club? How come I've never seen her in any of our classes?" He asked, trying to ignore the stupid look Tamaki had on his face.

"Kyoya, are you in love?! Oh how amazing! I always knew this wo-"

"Forget it, this is a waste of time." He began to head to the door but stopped as Tamaki stopped his path.

"Wait! (L/N) as in (Y/n) (L/n) right? She's a year below us, that's why you probably never see her outside of class. We don't have any classes with her except lunch if you count that." Kyoya hummed at the man's words before walking to the door, opening it. 

"Thank you." He said, giving him a nod of acknowledgement.

"No problem, dear friend."

--------------------------

Kyoya stood behind his podium, greeting guests as they came through. He offered each of them the same fake smile he'd give, confirming their host choice for the day. He never cared too much to remember faces, just the different things they'd enjoy and how he could make profit off of them. Well everyone except-

"Kyooo! What's up? How ya doin today?" She chirped, leaning close to him as she offered him a bright smile from behind her supple plump lips. He smiled down at her, a genuine one (not that he'd ever let anyone know that).

"Ah, lady (L/n). A pleasure to see you as always. Your usual I presume?" He said, searching for the twins' names as he went to check the mark.

"Actually I thought I'd switch things up today!"

"Really? Who will it be then?" Whoever it was would be so lucky to be graced with the girl's presence. Her smile grew wider at his question as she leaned even closer.

"You! You do host right? I haven't seen anyone come to you for some time." She mused, resting a brown hand on his arm. Normally he'd remove himself from anyone's touch but for her he didn't mind so much. He'd even go as far as to say he enjoyed it. "Any excuse to stare at that nice face of yours longer."

'The same could be said even more so about you, darling.' Is what he wanted to say but consumed by his own nerves he let them get the best of him. "Usually I find myself too busy to," he started, noticing her face drop, "However I can always make exceptions for ladies of such high beauty as yourself, princess." She smiled, heading over to the empty table that Kyoya rarely hosts at. She sat on the couch across from him, fiddling and moving around as usual. (Y/n) was an unusual energetic girl who found that she couldn't sit still for more than a few seconds, which was a trait that usually drove him up the wall but when it came to her he found it to be quite cute.

“You’re not going to eat or drink anything?” (Y/n) asked, shoving her mouth with the tiny tea cakes that sat on the silver cake stand. Kyoya let a soft smile take his face as he watched her. He always kept them hidden in the back because he knew they were her favorite and they were far more expensive than anything else they served. The cakes themselves were imported from France daily which was obviously a pretty penny but, he didn’t mind. The smile on her face made it worth the extra bit of cash.

“I’m not much of a fan of sugar, it’s bad for your skin.” he stated, looking down at the little black book in his hands. She hummed processing his words before wiping her mouth off with a napkin.

“Well what do you usually drink? I wanna have the same thing as you!”

“I’m a fan of earl grey served black. No sugar, no cream.” he said. She eyed him carefully before giggling. She leaned in close, looking into his dark eyes as he stared back.

“Yeah you seem to be quite the fan of,” she cleared her throat to hide a giggle. “Black things.” Kyoya set his cup down, choking on the liquid. (Y/n) sat back in her seat satisfied, laughing loudly as she threw her head back. A few of the guests stared at her with angry eyes, upset by her mild disturbance. But, she didn’t care. She never did. Once his choking died down, she sent him a wink. “I’m only messing with you, Kyo-chan! Lightin up will yeah? Anyways I’d like to have a cup of what you're drinking. It couldn’t be too bad, right?”

Wrong, she had been deeply wrong. Kyoya smiled in amusement as she sputtered out the tea, coughing dramatically. “Is it not to your liking, dear?” he asked in a sarcastically cheerful tone.

“Like hell it is! This shit is gross.” she began to pout, pushing the cup away from her. “I’d like my usual back please.” she said, looking up at him. He felt his face heat up slightly as he nodded his head, grabbing her cup before heading off with it. He searched the shelves carefully before finding her usual and preparing the way he knew she liked it. Too much sugar and too much cream. He chuckled at the thought, 'it suits her.'

(Y/n) smiled as he returned with her cup taking a sip as she let out a sigh of content. "As much as I'm enjoying my time with you today, my lady, I'm curious about your sudden shift. You always without a doubt choose the twins." He questioned, watching as she delicately set her cup down on the wooden table. He admired her presence. She was graceful but in a way he had never seen before, unique just like everything else about her.

"Do you want the real answer or the fake answer?" She questioned, biting the inside of her cheek nervously. Kyoya had a split second of a confused look before offering her another smile.

"Honestly is the best policy, my dear."

"Well- you see- ugh!" She huffed, slouching back in her seat. He couldn't help but find it adorable how the big ugly yellow dress swallowed her whole during that action. "I always wanna request for you Kyo-chan but you always seem so busy, so distant. I figured I'd let you have your own peace." She leaned forward on her hand as she rested her elbow on the table. "And besides, I've seen you reject to host much prettier girls so why would you host me?"

Kyoya's eyes widened at the (h/c) haired girls announcement. Prettier girls, than her? Too busy, for her? He chuckled some catching the girl's attention. Before she could ask him what was up he began to speak. "I don't mean to laugh in your face princess but I think you've got it twisted." He stood up, pulling the girl close to his chest. The other host watched with wide eyes and their mouths open at Kyoya's uncharacteristic behavior. "There are no prettier girls nor is there anyone I'd rather spend my time with," he tilted her head up bringing his face closer to hers, "Than you." (Y/n) stood there breathless at his words. Her eyes gleamed brightly at his confession.

"Are you busy this weekend?" She asked him faintly.

"Well, I'd have t-"

"Well now you're not. Take me on a date." His eyes widened at her forwardness before laughing softly. She did have a way of doing that, leading the way in any conversation no matter what the topic.

"Are you asking me or telling me?" He teased, pulling back from his hold to push his glasses up his nose. "Either way, alright dear. How could I say no to you?"

Tamaki watched from a far with a hand over his heart, genuine tears falling out of his eyes. In all his time he had known Kyoya, he had never seen him passionate about much of anything. To see his friend so sure of himself, so content in his emotions moved him. Thank god for the sun that had taken away Kyoya from his rainy days.

[ladykissingfish]

The Akatsuki as Parents

Obito

Was a bit reluctant when he found out he was going to be a daddy ... at first. Not because he didn’t want kids ((he really did)), but because he severely doubted his own ability to be a father. But the second he holds the baby in his arms, he’s hooked. He will be so eagerly helpful and hands-on that during the child’s infancy, the other parent will rarely have to lift a finger. Diapers need changing? Obito’s on it. Baby needs to be fed at 2am? Obito’s already out of bed and warming formula on the stove. Rash? Fever? A cough? Obito is consulting every doctor within a 20 mile radius on what to do. Note that Obito is a hard-core traditionalist and, if he isn’t married to the child’s other parent before he gets them pregnant, he’ll be persistent about doing so before the kid is born. Sobs the first time his child calls him “papa”. As the child grows older, Obito will be a tireless teacher and mentor, and you better believe that the kid will know every facet of what was once the Uchiha clan. Sharingan training is a bit nerve-wracking for Dad, because while he wants his child to grow strong, he knows the power of the eye is a deadly one, and doesn’t like to see his son/daughter get hurt. Is the type to be a bit more strict with his sons than with daughters, in fact being a complete pushover for anything his little girl(s) wants. Very, VERY likely to insist a girl be named Nohara. Also the type to sneak and let his kid eat lots of sweets (like Obito himself does) before meals, much to the other parent’s chagrin. Also involves the other Akatsuki members as uncles/aunt in the kid’s life, especially Itachi and Sasuke as he wants the kid to be exposed to members of the family more often.

Hidan

The literal first words out of his mouth are “pregnant? Why the hell didn’t you make me wear a condom?!” Takes a long time to warm up to the idea of parenthood, but once he does, he’s surprisingly better at it than anyone would anticipate. He tends to be very fast-paced in his body movements and not really used to being careful, so if he’s holding his infant it’s best to make him sit still in a chair first. Once the kid(s) is older, it’s better, because Hidan’s energy levels will match (and overshadow) even the liveliest of children. It will be a big point of contention between Hidan and his co-parent on whether or not to introduce their kid to Jashinism, and Hidan will eventually promise to wait until the child is an adult to start talking about “all that shit”; although Hidan’s idea of adulthood seems to be when the kid is old enough to use a kunai. Puts a startling amount of emphasis on his kid getting a good education, and will be sure to send him or her to the best village school that he possibly can. The reason behind this is because Hidan himself had a poor education growing up, and is in fact barely able to read or do basic math; and he says over and over that his kid “isn’t gonna be some dumbass like his/her father”.

Kakuzu

Nearly faints when told he’s going to be a father. Will immediately get out a calculator and start figuring out expenses like diapers, food, toys, education ... is so preoccupied that he ends up neglecting the person who carries his child, causing them to go off on their own expecting to be a single parent. Oddly, it’s Hidan who sets the old guy straight. He stays on his case and talks to him until the nonagenarian sees the error of his ways, and goes after the person having his baby. Kakuzu will be gentle with a baby, and show a surprising affinity for making up and singing lullabies. As the kid gets older, Kakuzu will be a bit more strict. “Food is expensive; you better eat every bite on your plate.” “A hole in your pants? No give them to me and I’ll mend them; buying new clothes is unnecessary.” His child will grow up knowing how to stretch a buck and budget money better than any other kid their age. Kakuzu isn’t really one for showing much warmth or affection, but there will be a few rare moments in his kid’s life where his father hugs him and tells him how proud he is of him. Kakuzu knows that the life of a shinobi is hard and therefore encourages his kid to pursue other career paths, such as opening up his/her own business.

Konan and Nagato

These two are so closely intertwined that they could only be parental mates to each other. When a baby comes into the picture, Nagato will still maintain his position as leader of the Akatsuki as Pein, but will insist that Konan quit. It’s for a practical purpose rather than a sentimental one; they both lost their collective parents to war, and Nagato always thought that if he had a child, he’d ensure that at least one parent would be around to always take care of him or her. Konan, however, will still keep in touch with all of the Akatsuki members, who will become very enthusiastic uncles to her child. She’s always been a good cook but with a child she’ll level up to professional chef caliber, creating dishes that are fun and healthy. Her child(ren) will be taught all of their mother’s paper jutsus, and Nagato will work to devise a way for the brightest one to get his rinnegan once he passes. The kids will primarily spend time with Nagato through Pein, and only be taken to meet their father when Konan feels they’re ready. Because Konan and Nagato had a childhood devoid of parental love, they’re often at a loss for how to be affectionate or sentimental, instead putting a lot of emphasis on “toughening” their kids up, so that they’re prepared to face the cruelties of the world. But the kids will know that mom and dad love them; it’s obvious in everything they say and do.

Deidara

Will be the fun, loving, yet highly irresponsible father. As soon as his kid is born he anxiously awaits to see if he or she inherits his explosion-release kekkei genkai; and if the kid DOES, he’s ecstatic. “Art is an explosion” won’t just be a saying in his household; it’ll be a way of life. The child will grow up given complete freedom to express his or her artistic tendencies, with Deidara highly praising any and every impact they make on the outside world. Yet despite being for artistic creativity, he’ll be (surprisingly) strongly against the child joining any kind of organization that’s like the Akatsuki; he regrets his own decision to join as he feels it out a horrible damper on his artistic expression and independence. Likes to tell his young children stories every night, which are actually just heavily edited and sanitized versions of his Akatsuki missions. Like Obito, will be a bit more of a pushover for a daughter than a son, and will love spending hours brushing and styling the beautiful long hair that the girl inherits from him. He’ll let any member of the Akatsuki around his kids except for Hidan (because he doesn’t want his foul language around the child).

Zetsu

There are people in this world who know for certain that their lives wouldn’t be fulfilled by having children, and Zetsu is one of these individuals. While wanting no offspring of his own, he IS rather a good “uncle” to the children of his fellow Akatsuki members ((although the majority of these kids are too terrified of his physical appearance to want to go anywhere near him until they’re at least teenagers)).

Sasori

A child would be hard-pressed to elicit any kind of emotional reaction from Sasori, as the man cleared himself of most feeling when he underwent his puppet transformation. However, one thing that he could never rid himself of, was his ability to love. Even if he has difficulty showing it, he loves his child and would do literally anything to help or protect them. When the child is a baby, Sasori will spend hours crafting tiny puppet-dolls for the kid to play with. As he grew up with a skilled medic grandmother, he possesses a wide knowledge of herbs and healing, which he will painstakingly pass on to his children. Not one to baby his children by any means, as he lives by the philosophy that the world is tough meaning you have to be tougher; however will offer advice, support, and encouragement on any issues that may be troubling his son/daughter. Early on he expresses a desire for his child to learn to be a master puppeteer like himself; however will be understanding if they choose to pursue a different path. Is very smart and naturally mistrustful of strangers, so will likely choose to educate his kids at home rather than send them to a village school. The type to seem more like a trusted mentor or an interesting uncle than an actual father; also the type to relate to his teen or adult children better than young kids.

Itachi

Itachi never feels like he deserves any of the good things in life, because of what he’s done, and therefore doesn’t know how to handle blessings that are given to him. A baby is the ultimate example of this. Itachi will feel as though any child of his would be better off not knowing him or being “exposed” to the cursed Uchiha bloodline, so at first he’ll make it a point to barely be around his baby ((even though this kills him inside)). Surprisingly, of all people, it’s Deidara who will talk him out of this mindset, telling him how important it is for a child to be around their father “even if he is a damned red-eyed weirdo”. Once Itachi allows himself to fully commit to parenthood, that’s it — he’ll be the best damned father in the universe. He’ll be warm and affectionate, especially liking to pick his kid up (no matter how old they are or how embarrassed it makes them) and squeeze them. He’s not much of a disciplinarian, believing that kids need to be able to make mistakes in order to grow from them. The only time he’ll ever get angry is when the child does something that could have resulted in a serious injury. Itachi’s intelligence has always been off the charts, and he utilizes this to help his kid be a spectacular student. In fact, as the kid gets older, they’ll start bringing his/her friends around the house in order to receive Itachi’s tutoring. Itachi’s brother Sasuke will adore his nephew/niece and come home more often simply to be with them. Also Kisame will come around practically every day, and the kid will grow up learning an impressive arsenal of water jutsus to compliment the traditional Uchiha fire jutsus.

Kisame

The tall, somewhat awkward father that scares all of his kid’s friends with his intimidating physical appearance ... until he opens his mouth and they hear a god-awful dad joke come out. Any child of Kisame’s is going to be part shark, and therefore have some affinity for being in/breathing under the water. Kisame’s favorite pastime will be taking his baby (and yes, I do mean baby, as he tends to start his kid on this when they’re young) out for long swims in the ocean. Kisame has always been self-conscious of his looks, so from the time the child is born he will spend a good deal of time teaching him or her to have self-confidence and love for him/herself. Like many of the others in the Akatsuki, Kisame never received much of a formal education, and therefore puts a lot of emphasis on his child going to a “normal” school and giving it their all when it comes to their studies. When the child proves him or herself physically capable, Kisame will start training with them on how to wield/control samehada, as well as fight with a variety of swords. It goes without saying that Itachi will be in Kisame’s kid’s life from the day they’re born, and be their favorite “uncle”.

[malereader-inserts]

The Sociopath’s Son

Fandom: BBC Sherlock  Pairing: Sherlock Holmes & Son!Reader Summary: What was Sherlock like a father? Well, something you wouldn’t expect Word Count: 1,104 Request: @coffeebvster “hullo! first of all, i LOVEEEE your works so much. second, can i request a sherlock × son!reader? you can make it anything you want, it's up to you. thanks a lot before <3 “

You and your dad were somewhat opposite to each other. 

When you had first met John, he was expecting a carbon copy of Sherlock just younger. But, he was pleasantly surprised that you weren’t that similar. Sure, you were insanely smart and your deduction skills were almost polished, Sherlock was very pleased to hear. But, you like to store useless facts just to piss your dad off when something basic comes up.

You enjoyed sports a lot more, unlike Sherlock, in fact, you were heavily invested in your school football team, playing striker and vice captain of your high school team. Yes, you excelled in school, but you never really cared for science as much as your dad. You enjoyed chemistry, but you would prefer music, physical education and art. 

You played the violin like your dad, but you played the drums as well to be loud in the apartment and have your dad storm into your room telling you to tone it down whilst he thinks as you grin at him spitefully. 

And it’s not like you do it because you hated your dad, in fact, you adored your dad.

Sherlock was a lot different to you, his son, compared to any other company. In fact, you were one of the few people, two, that he would show emotions to. It was a side that John found a bit unsettling from him. Sherlock would do anything to support whatever you wanted, whilst he had a lack of that from his parents, he wanted to show it to you.

Sherlock was just delighted that you got his brain and you were eager to learn, though a bit disappointed if you turned down any chance to visit a crime scene. Though, both you and him know that Lestrade would never allow a teenager on the scene. 

Sometimes, you wonder how much you could push your dad.

“Hey, dad?”

“Yes?”

“Can I buy a dress?”

“Sure, nothing too expensive,” Sherlock says giving you some money as you say your thanks.

Sherlock doesn’t know whether you bought a dress or not, it wasn’t much of his concern really, it was your life and he wasn’t going to stop you. You never really told him what you did with that said money, whether you did buy a dress or not, it was only you who knew. 

Sherlock tried to understand your hobbies, such as dungeons and dragons, you and him had a lengthy day about you explaining what it was, but sometimes he would just really couldn’t get the grasp of the concept. 

“I think it’s pointless.”

“I know,” You responded, used to the reaction of most of your hobbies, “But, it’s fun and keeps me entertained for hours.”

“Well, I guess if you’re happy, then so be it.”

You would always beam at your father’s constant need to be trying his hardest. He would always ask you if you need anything for said hobbies. You would explain things you watch on Netflix, anime, YouTube and any other streaming servers. John would explain what merch is to him and Sherlock would try to look up shows you watch.

He even asked to join you to watch one of your favourite shows, under one of your request that wouldn’t loudly say that they’re dumb. He got hooked on one of your favourite shows, and you started to tease him about it.

At least, Sherlock thinks, you’re easy to buy for birthdays and Christmases. Sherlock is a great dad in your opinion and you share that opinion with a handful of people. John agrees, it warms his heart. Mycroft agrees too, your uncle always praises Sherlock for being a spectacular father.

Mrs Hudson finds it endearing, really she does, and she likes the thought that you are probably the only person that can control your father. Your father is less likely to go off the railings, he wouldn’t do something that could risk his life, because the thought of you becoming an orphan hurts him too much. 

Sherlock would never touch drugs again.

And he’s explicitly said to you that you’ll be in deep trouble if you’re going to participate in any form of illegal drugs, of course reassuring you that he would try his best to help you get out of the habit after his lengthy lecture if he found out. 

Lestrade likes this side to Sherlock when he first found out, even stood up for the sociopath when Donavan and Anderson tried to pick on him for having a “freak” son. Unfortunately, Lestrade had to stop him from creating a crime scene on top of a crime scene. 

Sherlock is a great dad.

You wouldn’t want any other father than him. 

It has always been you and your dad, your mother was out of the picture fairly quickly. You arrived at your father’s guardianship when you were still a few months. Your dad taught you all the basics; walking, talking, potty. You’d never believe that Sherlock was overjoyed to be a father. 

Mycroft had to drop in a few times to see if Sherlock was sure to keep you and if you were still alive. Still, Mycroft has copies of Sherlock’s videos of your first word (it wasn’t murder as Mycroft expected, in fact, it was dada - which warmed the ice man’s heart.)

It’s always been you and your dad, he was there to teach you how to ride a bike (he had to search up on youtube and ring Mycroft on how to teach you that), Sherlock taught you how to swim before giving up and sending you to swimming lessons. He was there for every injury, he was there to calm you down when you failed a test saying there’s always next time. He was there when you asked him dating advice, but he was a bit awkward and didn’t really give you a definite answer.

To this day, you still wonder what your dad was trying to this day because all you heard was gibberish. He was there for your first heartbreak as well. It’s always been you and your dad against the world.

“Love you, dad.”

Sherlock looks at you, softly smiling at you as you lean against the back of the sofa, your chin resting on the back of your hands which rested against the backrest. You stare at him with big eyes, something he’s very fond of as you grew up to be a fine young man.

“Love you too, son.”

“DID YA HEAR THAT UNCLE JOHN? DAD SAID HE LOVES ME AND GENUINELY MEANS IT.”

Sherlock rolls his eyes, every time.

[evilsillyputty]

Review

Isekai Meikyuu De Harem O

Or: A Harem in an Alternate World Dungeon

Genre: Fantasy isekai (Basically a hentai)

Summary/plot: The MC wakes up in a fantasy world. Quickly realizing he has an appraisal skill that tells him what things are, he is able to find 2 magic items to help him on his way. He uses the magic sword to defeat some bandits attacking a village. This leads him to a bigger city where he gets money for handing over a thief from the village to a slave trader (as is custom). After seeing a beautiful save there and is also offered her, for a price, he gets the new goal to make enough to get her. From here we see him slowly crawl up the ladder to a more comfortable life and learn more about the world and how it works.

Art Style: It’s OK. I’m not really amazed by it or anything, but it doesn’t look like a cheap manga. The important people have good detail to them, and the environment looks pretty good. Some of the backgrounds do look like assets that were plopped in there, but they are nice ones. There is special care taken to the girls and sex scenes.

Personal thoughts: Alright I’ve been wanting to review this one for a while for the reason of me being mad at it. SO, this manga is called “A Harem in an Alternate World Dungeon”. It’s got “harem” right in the title. That would make you think that the MC would come in, freshly isekaied, swing his dick around for a chapter or 2 and have 5 girls hanging off him. Am I right? Is that what you’d expect from a manga with “harem” right in the title? The main girl first shows up in the 3rd–4th chapters as a “here’s your next goal MC”. The next time she appears is in the 9th chapter when he buys her. That is correct, our MC doesn’t even get his first girl until the 9th chapter. So you may think now the girls will start pouring in right? Nope. The next girl shows up in the last 2 pages of the 37th chapter. And as of the 56th chapter there hasn’t been even an indication of adding any others. I don’t know about you, but when I think harem, I think 3 girls minimum. What we have here is a love triangle at best. This manga is NOT a harem manga. I don’t care if it is listed under the harem genre, that is a lie.

Now that I’m done with my rant, let’s get into what it is about. This is a world building kind of isekai. Most of it is explaining how the world works. We find out more as the MC does. I will say it does seem a bit heavy at times. Like there are nice blocks of text with the MC saying, “ah so this works like this and is connected to that, so if I do this it may lead to me getting that”. I’d prefer it to take it a bit slower or give us the info in easier to read ways. There really shouldn’t be more text than art in a comic. Once he gets Roxanne, the main girl, she takes a role of explaining things to him. Later the second girl, Sherry, takes up that role.

One neat thing is that when they go into dungeons, they armor up in like, a realistic way. No bikini armor or anything. Surprising with what kind of manga this is. The armor is magic and can change size and make itself fit whoever wears it though. The main way they make money is by going though dungeons. There is a whole pot of lore about it and I’m not going to get into it. They kill monsters take the drops and sell them. It feels a lot like watching someone play a video game. He wants to unlock a bunch of things without knowing how to, so he tries a bunch of stuff he thinks may work.

The last part is the perverted stuff. So yeah, they fuck a lot. There is a lot of details put into the kissing as well. Nudity happens here a there too. Pretty typical stuff. Also, something fun, each race has a “racial job” for humans it’s of course sex maniac. Yes the MC gets it, there is no reason he wouldn’t.

 Characters:

Kaga Michio (or “Master” I guess…): The MC, he’s a pretty smart guy. Nothing spectacular or anything, he is just able to figure stuff out. He is generic. He does show basic human kindness to his slaves (god that sounds so bad, “Sure he has slaves, but he’s nice to them so it’s fine”). Honestly, he acts the way you would expect a normal person to act. He was determined enough to buy Roxanne that he killed some people who had bounties on them. So he has conviction at least. I mean he’s killed people before, granted he did think it was a video game at the time.

Allan: The owner of the slave trading place. I never really like it when the slave trader is a good guy who you can trust. It feels like they are trying to say, “see slavery isn’t bad, the guy in charged is nice”. Which I guess that is the thing they are doing, but you know. He is a good businessman and salesperson. He knows what to say and what to do to get peoples trust and get a sale. He is also helpful outside of selling though that may be part of getting people’s trust.

Roxanne: The first slave. My sweet, sweet child. She is such a good trusting person. Or rather dog-person, as that is what she is. Not a full on furry, she only has the ears and tail. There may be something wrong with her too. She attaches to the MC real quick. No reason I can think of other than she may have thought he was hot or something. She met him once, didn’t exchange 2 sentences with him and is all worried about whether or not he’ll buy her. She seems a bit too willing. Also, she is a battle manic. Loves fighting, weapons, and is really good at it. Basically, she is the perfect girlfriend. Now I realize what I wrote here makes it sound like my ideal girl is someone who is both obsessed with me and can kick ass, but what I meant by “perfect girlfriend” is if the average man thought of what the perfect girl would be it would be Roxanne, and the dog person and battle manic things are add-ons.

Sherry: The second slave who is a Dwarf and not an elf like I thought she was going to be. You see they have a picture at the beginning of some chapters of the MC, Roxanne, and Sherry. Sherry has pointy ears, so you’d think she is a short or loli elf, but nope. She wasn’t as quick to warm up to the MC as Roxanne. Her coming around was more realistic. It still didn’t take long though, but not much she could do being a slave and all. She knew getting the D was an inevitability so may as well make the best of it. She is also the smart character. The MC bought her specifically so that he could make her a master smith, which is the dwarf’s racial job. So that’s some plot that happens.

Other info: There are 56 chapters as of 3/30/22. They will probably take a bit to get through. If you only care about the erotic stuff, then you can skip a lot of the world building stuff to get through it faster. I have also heard that there is an anime coming up for it. They are going to disappoint so many people when they say, “come see our harem anime” and they only ever get to 1 girl. Cause if they want to get to Sherry, they will have to bulldoze through so much content and even then, she’ll only show up at the end of the season.

 All in all: Its charm lies in two places, the world building and the erotic stuff. If you like world building stuff and don’t mind some blatant perversion you will probably enjoy this. The world is actually well put together. If you’re in it just for the sex, you may have to skip around a bit or you may get bored. All together it’s fine, not at the top of any list. I’d skip it for something else if I had to choose. But I don’t think it’s bad. Now that you’ve read this and know what you’re getting into, you may not get as frustrated at is as I did wondering when this “harem” manga is going to introduce all the girls.

[jaskierswolf]

Heartbreak Hotel

Or the dating show Geraskier AU based on an idea by my wonderful friend @slythnerd (Also on my AO3) 

Geralt took a deep breath and pulled at the tie around his wrist. The cameras weren’t rolling yet and he was seriously considering jumping out of the window. He was grateful that he wasn’t one of the original contestants. He wasn’t sure whether he would have been able to cope with all the build up and hype before entering the hotel. The set to the show was essentially the top two floors of a hotel, and one of the reasons he hadn’t made a break for the nearest window. He did enjoy being alive despite how much he liked to grumble about it. Geralt was going to be the first new contestant since the season had started just over a week ago. With any luck everyone would be happily paired up and he would be allowed to go home at the soonest available opportunity.

He’d only agreed to this shit show for Yen’s sake. He was pretty sure that her and Triss just wanted to laugh at his discomfort.

“Mr Rivia?” Some attractive young brunette with a clipboard asked.

He raised an eyebrow at them. “Yeah?”

“Are you ready?”

Geralt looked back down at the wristband. It was pink, purple and blue. He gave a small smile. When he’d been filling out the application form he had hovered over the box for bisexual for over an hour. He wasn’t out to his family yet. Yennefer knew, but that was it. Well at least coming out on one of the most popular dating shows in the world would mean he’d probably only have to do it once.

He grunted and nodded, dropping his wrist to his side. “Yeah.”

_________________________

Jaskier was seriously starting to doubt his life choices as he flopped dramatically across the laps of Virginia Stael and Valdo Marx who were curled up on the sofa together. Jaskier had tried to woo  the ‘Countess’ as he affectionately called her due to her love of expensive jewellery and designer clothes, but she’d reached an ‘agreement’ with Valdo. They had a game plan. Everyone in the damn hotel knew it and he hoped the viewers at home could see it too. The pair of them barely tolerated each other. They would split up as soon as the show ended. They’d only chosen each other because they’d both deemed the other to be the most attractive out of the contestants. It was shameless and it was loveless. Well, not entirely loveless, despite their personality clashes and endless drama, they did end up shagging rather loudly every night, much to Jaskier’s displeasure as he had the misfortune of having the room next to Valdo.

Valdo wasn’t even that attractive.

“What are you doing, Jaskier?” Valdo snapped.

Jaskier rolled his eyes and extended one leg as he gestured to himself. “Lying down. Obviously.” He muttered.

“There’s a free chair.” Virginia pointed out in her snooty I-am-holier-than-thou voice which made Jaskier feel incredible glad that his attempts to seduce her had failed.

Unlike most of the contestants, Jaskier wasn’t playing for the money. He’d been naive to think he’d be able to actually find love on the show. What had he been thinking? Everyone else was catty and brutal and he just wanted to be loved god damn it.

Although, the sex so far had been spectacular so who was he to complain?

“Where’s… who are you paired with at the moment?” Valdo glowered at him, with unfairly pretty green eyes.

Ok so maybe he was that attractive, but fuck Valdo. Not literally.

Unless….

No.

Bad Jaskier.

The man was an arsehole. He did not deserve to get fucked!

Jaskier sighed again and patted Valdo’s cheek. “Priscilla but she broke up with me.”

“And why did she do that?” Virginia asked.

“I made out with Aiden.” Jaskier hid his face n his hands and moaned. “but in my defence the challenge was to kiss who I thought would be best in bed! Priscilla is lovely and I really like her, but Aiden just looked like he could fuck the living daylights out of me, which incidentally he can.”

Jaskier’s attention was drawn away by a woman behind a nearby camera who was obviously trying to hide her laughter and failing. Most of the time Jaskier was able to ignore the cameras but sometimes they just really got on his nerves.

“I was being honest!” He snapped and pouted. “I thought honesty was the key to all healthy relationships.”

No one had a chance to reply as the elevator doors opened and a god of a man walked out.

“Holy shit.” Jaskier’s jaw dropped.

This was it. He was in love. The man had silver hair that looked like it had been woven out of moon beams. It was pulled back into a messy bun revealing a truly sinful undercut on both sides of the man’s head. He was wearing a loose black shirt with the top few buttons undone and the sleeves were rolled up to the elbows. He’d paired the shirt with some tight black jeans. Oh god his thighs could probably break Jaskier.

Jaskier let out a pathetic whimper.

The noise drew the hot guy’s attention and holy fucking cock balls… his eyes…

Jaskier was going to drown in those eyes. He licked his lips and he stared unabashedly at this fucking work of art, that is, until he was dumped on the floor by Valdo shoving him hard. “Oi! Fuck it, get off!” He yelped as he landed on his arse.

His eyes snapped back up to the new guy and he blushed. The man was smirking at him, clearly laughing at his misery. Jaskier gave a little wave and the scrambled to his feet so he could introduce himself. “Hi! I’m Jaskier!”

“Geralt.”

Jaskier could have melted on the spot. How was his voice that good? Fuck it was better than sex.

“Jaskier.” He replied and then swore. “I mean. I already said that. Hello.”

“You said that too.” Geralt chuckled.

“Well what else am I supposed to say? I just met you! I can hardly start asking you to bend me over that table and…” He cut himself off and clapped his hands to his lips.

“Shall we start again?” Geralt asked, still smirking although there was now a faint red blush on his cheeks, probably embarrassed by Jaskier’s outburst. He extended his hand, which, Jaskier noted with absolute delight, had a bi wristband tied neatly on it. “I’m Geralt.” Jaskier grinned and shook Geralt’s hand, making sure his own matching wristband was on display. “Jaskier Pankratz. Nice to meet you.”

“Cut the cameras!” A voice called out through the speakers. “Everyone, we have a newbie Geralt Rivia. He’ll be joining and he will be leading our next challenge. We love the drama but try and give the man a warm welcome. Jaskier! Excellent. We’ll work with that. The viewers are going to love it! Ok. Rolling!”

Jaskier groaned and gave Geralt a sheepish smile. “Urgh. I’m sorry. Looks like they’ll be pairing us together for a few challenges.”

Geralt frowned. “Can you say that with the cameras running?”

Jaskier shrugged. “Not everything makes the cut. They get a lot of footage. There’s a whole bunch of people not even here that are being filmed right now. It’ll get cut and pasted until they get what they want.”

“So why did they cut the cameras?”

“Important announcement. Make sure people are actually listening. I doubt they actually stop rolling.”

“Hmm.”

“Sooooo….” Jaskier linked his arm with Geralt’s. “Did you want the tour?”

Geralt laughed. “Will there be any tables?”

Jaskier tripped up instantly and spluttered as Geralt caught him around the waist. “Geralt!” He choked.

“Relax, Jaskier. I was joking.”

“I should hope so!”

“Mostly.”

“Geralt!”

_____________________

Four days in and Geralt was more relaxed than he thought he would be. Most of the contestants gave Geralt a wide berth. He was more than a little out of place. He wasn’t really sure how he’d ended up being chosen. The rest of the contestants flirted easily and could all talk for hours about their ‘types’ and what they were looking for in a partner.

When asked Geralt had just shrugged, he’d glanced over at Jaskier who had been busy braiding Priscilla’s hair and not paying much attention. Jaskier was currently paired with Priscilla, they’d been arguing when Geralt had first joined the hotel but had since rekindled their love, if you could call it that. Geralt had ended up pairing with Kiera. She was pretty enough and had taken a shine to him during his first challenge. He wasn’t that interested in her but he’d promised Yen that he would give the show a fair shot. So he was trying.

“What about you, Buttercup?” Priscilla winked at Jaskier.

“Oh umm. Me? Fair hair, pretty eyes… a voice like a dream.” He sighed wistfully and Priscilla turned to kiss him.

Geralt averted his eyes. He didn’t enjoy it when they kissed. It made him… uncomfortable.

Yen would say jealous but Geralt scoffed at that. Jaskier was his friend. They often hung out around the hotel when they weren’t being filmed with their respective partners. Jaskier was the only one Geralt felt he could really talk to. He let Geralt talk for far too long about Roach and the other horses at the ranch. Kiera had just laughed and made a joking about riding Geralt then shut him up with a kiss.

It wasn’t a bad kiss. It was just not what he’d been expecting from a partner.

He was on the wrong show.

Geralt groaned. “I’m going to my room.” He muttered. “Headache.”

Jaskier jumped up. “Are you ok, Geralt?” The brunet put a hand on Geralt’s arm and looked at him with such open affection that it made Geralt ache.

Fuck.

He was falling in love with him.

Geralt pulled away sharply. “Fine.”

“Oh. Right then. I’ll just, I’ll be here if you need me then.” Jaskier mumbled and slunk back over to Priscilla, taking her hand and decidedly not looking at Geralt.

“Fine.” Geralt repeated and fled the room, glaring at the camera man on his way past. He just needed to get away and be alone for a bit.

________________________

“I just. I don’t know what to do!!” Jaskier whined as he shifted in the armchair for the third time that minute, moving so his feet were draped over the back of the chair and he was hanging upside down over the edge. “Priscilla is very pretty and we both like music. We’re thinking we could start a band after this is all over, compose music together. She’s incredibly talented, maybe even better than I am, and oh ho! Let me tell you that I don’t say that very often!”

“So what’s the problem?” The person behind the camera asked.

“I just don’t love her. I thought I did but then in walked Geralt and it was like the universe rearranged itself and Geralt was in the centre.”

“How poetic.”

“Yes, yes.” Jaskier waved his hand and then scrambled up so he could sit cross-legged on the chair. He was getting head rush from being upside down. “It all sounds like a bad rom com but I swear. God, and then he had the audacity to be kind!”

“Not many people see him that way.”

“Bollocks!” Jaskier glowered at the camera. “He’s just shy but once you get him talking I swear he’s worse than me. Oh and his sweet darling Roach, has he shown you a photograph? No? Well that is tragic. She’s gorgeous. Stupid name for a horse though. Oh and he has this collection of little horse figurines that he paints. It’s just the sweetest. I swear if he proposed tomorrow I would say yes.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah….” He sighed longingly. “I could be Mrs Geralt Rivia. Oh wait no. Fuck! He’s going to see this eventually. Shit. Can you edit that out? What do you mean no?! Fuck!”

____________

Geralt stared at the envelope in his hands. It was the challenge of the day. It was almost the end of Geralt’s second week in the hotel and soon people were going to get eliminated. He almost hoped it would be him, except that would mean leaving Jaskier behind. He wondered whether they could exchange contact details before he left. No, that would be weird. Jaskier was still paired with Priscilla.

Kiera had thankfully moved on.

“Umm.” Geralt blushed as he reread the words. He hadn’t participated in one of the infamous kissing challenges yet. His first challenge had been more of a get to know you type, after that the worst thing he’d had to do was a strip dance to ‘Toxic’, that was bad enough. “I have to kiss the person that I’m most likely to propose to after we leave here.”

“Sweet mother of…” Jaskier groaned and Geralt turned to look at him.

His friend was already blushing although Geralt supposed it was rather warm in the hotel. It was supposed to encourage the contestants to wear skimpy outfits to lure in more viewers. Jaskier as a result seemed to never be able to do his shirt up properly. The dark chest hair that trailed down into Jaskier’s tight fitting denim shorts drove Geralt mad. How anyone could resist the urge to pin Jaskier down and kiss every inch of his chest, was beyond Geralt.

Perhaps Yen had been right. Perhaps he really did need to get laid.

“Seems a bit forward.” Geralt muttered. “I’m not even paired with anyone.”

“Oh just snog someone already. Propose!?” Valdo scoffed. “This isn’t Married at First Sight.”

Valdo was right. This was too personal. He couldn’t.

“You don’t have to do it, Geralt.” Jaskier’s hand was on his cheek. “Let’s just say you have to kiss the person you think is cutest. We’ll all agree on that.”

“I won’t.” Kiera muttered.

“Shhh!” Jaskier hissed at her. “The challenge is a dig at me, something I said in the diary room. You shouldn’t have been dragged into it.”

“Hmm.” Geralt leant into Jaskier’s hand before he knew what he was doing. Jaskier had always been generous with the casual touches and Geralt lived for every single one. He hadn’t realised how much he’d been craving that physical touch before he’d met Jaskier. “Ok.” He nodded.

“Ok?” Jaskier asked, letting out a shaky breath and pulling back slightly but Geralt gripped onto his wrist to stop him.

“I can do it. The challenge.” He nodded.

It was now or never.

He loved Jaskier. He wasn’t ashamed to admit it. It was fast but then the circumstances weren’t exactly normal. They’d been living in each other’s pockets for two weeks and Geralt loved him.

He lunged forward before he could lose his nerve and captured Jaskier’s lips in a bruising kiss, cupping Jaskier’s cheeks in his hands to hold him close. Jaskier melted against him and wrapped his arms around Geralt’s neck, returning the kiss eagerly and moaning as their lips parted. Geralt had been dreaming of kissing Jaskier ever since the brunet had licked his lips when Geralt had first laid eyes on him. Every time Jaskier chewed on his bottom lip Geralt had imagined running his thumb along the soft pink skin and gently pulling it away from his teeth. Now all Geralt wanted to do was bite it for himself, so he did. Jaskier let out a sinful moan and pushed his body up against Geralt.

Geralt’s head began to spin. God the things he wanted to do to Jaskier. The noises he could pull from him. “Jaskier.” He breathed as he reluctantly let Jaskier go, resting his forehead against Jaskier’s and running his thumb along his cheek.

“Uh huh…” Jaskier mumbled and gripped onto the fabric of Geralt’s shirt. “Winter wedding then?”

Geralt laughed. “How about dinner first?”

Jaskier scoffed and buried his head against Geralt’s neck. “Fine, a spring wedding then.”

“Hmm.” Geralt muttered and kissed Jaskier’s hair. “We’ll see.”

_____

More witcher fun

[thepeakygurl]

Can we get a John x reader I really don’t have anything specific in mind 🥺 just maybe that he ends up meeting reader while he’s already married or something, make it angsty but with a fluffy ending pls 😈

A/N: I went a bit out of script with this one, but my reasons is that I want to do a part 2 of this one with the possibility of doing a love triangle, but you readers would have to tell me who you want as John’s rivals. I really hope you like it. I was so inspired by this one. Romantic John is my favourite John! @huskyhunny thank you for requesting babes again sorry changing stuff, but I promise the angst and the fluff will come in due time! Hope you enjoy it✨

The Royal Ballet | Part 1

John Shelby x Fem!Reader

Scenario

That night was cold you recalled. You were right up on stage, ready to give your best performance, but the wind that was whispering through the stage made you shiver and as a result you tilted back a little. You heard the director of the opera murmuring you to stay still, as the curtain and drapes where starting to open and reveal you. In your harmonious posture, with a sateen white dress covering your body, but revealing your legs and your ballet shoes. When the music started to play, your body started to move along with it. You gracefully dance from a corner to another, spinning and jumping. You hair was free on you shoulders an artistic choice made by the director who was now trying to take a peek at the audience.

Amazed. The audience couldn’t take their eyes off the amazing ballerina that everyone was hearing about lately. Y/N Y/S, the artist that everyone wanted to see swinging on stage. You were known best to be the first act of the Royal Ballet in London and also, the reason why everyone bought the ticket in the first place. There was something about how your gracefully made art using your body that simply left everyone in the urge of wanting more and more.

Soon enough even the most influent please in the City had to have a taste of what you could do, and that was one of those night. You recalled hearing the director speaking about how the Peaky Blinders reserved some tickets, the best seats. However you couldn’t believe that such men would have spent their hours into watching the show, you knew that there was more, but you couldn’t crush the director’s hopes.

Thomas, Arthur and John Shelby were all there, seated in the best seats, but they attention were elsewhere - or part of their attention -.

Thomas was seated next to Darcy Sabini, trying to have a decent and peaceful business conversation, he took the chance knowing Sabini wouldn’t ruin the spectacle as he invested in the theatre and part of the money made that night was his. Arthur was carefully listening to their conversation, seated by his Thomas’ side, he had a hand inside his jacket, holding his gun and was ready to take it out at any time. The youngest brother however, forgot about the purpose of their attendance for a second. He was completely drawn by how your body was moving and how your face was telling so many stories in such a short time. His eyes couldn’t stop looking at you, how your dress sometimes lifted revealing a gown that was meticulously fitted around your body, how your hair covered your face whenever you spinned and the smile you would always make whenever your eyes looked over to the audience. Your skin glowing with all the lights pointing at you and the way you would end up on your feet after every scary jump. Those shoes must hurt, he thought. Spectacular that was spectacular. When your act was over and you came closer to the audience to take your compliments and applauses, you smiled and took a little bow, before running to the backstage in order for the second act to start and so the other ballerinas came in, giving the start to another magical story. John looked at Arthur and Thomas, both still in the middle of the conversation. If he did his move now, he would have probably came back before the second act was over so he slowly started to stand up. Arthur as the eagle he was, looked over him and grabbed his jacket “Where you think you’re going? Sit your arse down”

“Got to use the loo, you wouldn’t want something else to be sit in this seat with my arse ye” John quickly explained, which made Arthur relax as he walked away.

He didn’t even notice if the girl was beautiful, at this point it didn’t matter, her essence was beyond the door of beauty, but he knew that if he didn’t talk to that angel she would have come into his dreams and made them sweet nightmares. So he stepped quickly into the backstage, hoping that his brothers would have still leaned their attention to Sabini. Surprisingly no one was there to stop his, the place was filled with costumes and jewels, he was surprised that with so many choices, the girl was only wearing a simply white dress. But then he thought that maybe it was the perfect choice as she was brighter that millions of them jewels.

You were in the middle of changing your dress for the last act, a tribute to Romeo and Juliet, that required you to wear a more elegant and complicated costume. There was two of the assistants that were helping you tighten the corset “Easy now..” you moaned when one of them laces were pulled suddenly. When you looked at yourself in the mirror to make sure your corset was fitted properly, you saw his reflection as well and that made you gasped in surprised.

And he was surprised as much as you were, his cheeks slightly turning into a deep red as he watched how the corset made your body bloom into its shape. “I am sorry I didn’t want to intrude.” He quickly said turning himself to give you the chance to cover yourself.

“We don’t usually receive admirers during the play” you said, telling the two assistants to quickly fix your skirt and so they did and left. “Perhaps you could tell me who you were looking for and come back at the end of the play” you suggested and walked towards him.

When he heard your voice closer now, he turned to face you and that’s when it hit me. Not just talented as an angel, heaven gifted you also with beauty. He couldn’t help but smile at you “I’m here for you” he said “I couldn’t resist and wait the end of the play, I hope you won’t mind my impatience, but I desperately wanted to meet the woman that is now going to haunt my dreams”

And you chuckled, never in your life you met someone so blunt, blunt and handsome. Such light blue eyes that you could swear to have seen some clouds in them “No one ever complained about me haunting their dreams.” You said. He took a few steps closer, but you didn’t move, instead you bit your lips trying to hold a smile.

“Maybe, only if you allow it, they could turn into sweet dreams” he said slowly sliding the tips of his fingers through your arm, and that made you shiver ten times more than the cold surrounding the stage. He gently held your hand in his and took it close to him so he could place a small kiss on it. Such a small and usual contact, but it made your whole body burn. “I’m John Shelby, and you are?”

You proceeded and say your name. You were by then already drowning in his eyes that it took you a few seconds before you actually realised who he said he was. But did it really matter? So charming and handsome, two combination that always got you smitten. You let go of his hand that he was still smartly keeping on yours “You said you came here for me, but I don’t see any flowers, or rather compliments coming out of your mouth. I thought you were an admirer” you said, now allowing yourself some space and you moved closer to the mirror to do your make up.

John felt his chest less heavier now that he had some space within you two. Having you so close and not being able to do anything but looking at you with desire was nothing but torture “I’m not that type of admirer miss Y/S” he said while lighting up a cigarette “You were stunning, but my eyes looked over the artist and saw a woman” he justified himself and his presence there, the cigarette slowly burning out in his lips as he was too drawn in your curves and how you moved to even care about smoking.

And you almost forgot you were putting lipstick on as you stopped, your arm lifted in the air with your hand close to your lips with a small red tinted brush, looking at him through the mirror again “Correct if I’m wrong, but I believe to have seen a ring on your finger” you said, now turning towards him once again, your back touch the edge of the table and your arms crossed to your chest, a small smile over your lips now that he was all stiff and his chest less puffed. “Married in front of God and now using words to allure another woman?”

John was really one that would go to church or act before the name of God, after all he couldn’t possibly do such a thing and do what he does at the same time. So he just smiled back “God himself couldn’t resists to temptation and made us, in all shapes, colours and form. Who am I then to not allow myself of the pleasure of having a conversation with you? God made us to be happy, I’m quite happy right now if you ask me” And he finally decided to turn off the cigarette, placing it behind his ear.

You couldn’t help yourself but laugh. He looked so young but so manly at the same time, a bit of an unrefined look, but such languid words “You don’t love your wife then?”

“Love can mean many things” he answered deceiving your question.

“Do you love her?” You asked again.

“I am loving you right now.” He then said.

And that did something to your heart and stomach, that quickly came filled with butterflies. “I have another act in lees then five minutes, perhaps you could take me home and tell me more about your perception of love” you said with a bright smile and your face, which he quickly to returned. If only you knew how much trouble that offer of yours would have gotten you into...

[destielharlequinchallenge]

The Destiel Harlequin Challenge Master Post: 2020 Mega Bang

Participants in the 2020 Destiel Harlequin Challenge completed an amazing 20 fics and 3 sets of artwork! You can learn all about those here!

Spectre (fic by a_dusky_gold, art by aceriee)

This whole thing… this was supposed to be a fucking farce. A way to keep Nicholas Vaught occupied until the deadline he’d given Dean would run out, and he’d still get the money to send Dad to the Town Hall rehabilitation for alcoholism, because that was the goddamned deal.

There were no such things as ghosts or magic or a Book of Life. Dean knows, okay? He wasn’t the Army’s goddamned Mystery Raider for nothin’; he knows history, he knows artifacts, and he knows that the Book of Life is an ancient myth that is about as real as werewolves or vampires.

And yet.

“The Book of Life,” the man had said. Dean can’t even remember his name.

Shit, shit, shit.

Dangerous Ground by Amethystaris

Special Agents for the Department of Diplomatic Security, Castiel Novak and Dean Winchester have been partners and best friends for three years, but everything changed the night Cas admitted the truth about his feelings for Dean. And when Cas was shot a few hours later, Dean felt his reluctance to get involved was vindicated.

Can a camping trip in the High Sierras save their partnership?

Honour Undressed by andimeantittosting

Among his friends, Castiel, Lord Milton is everyone’s confidant and, along with his trusted valet, the fixer of problems. But there is one secret Castiel has never shared: he is in love with his valet and has been for years.

Born in the gutters, Dean Winchester was assigned as Castiel’s batman in the war, and when Castiel travelled home to take up his title, Dean followed him as his valet. To assist Castiel, Dean is not above a little burglary or blackmail. But the one thing he wants for himself is Castiel’s heart.

When Castiel’s closest friends become the target of a blackmailer, certain truths come out. But while Dean determines to seduce Castiel, Castiel is adamant that he must resist, for if there is one rule a gentleman must follow, it is never to dally with his servant.

Havenport by BlueMasquerade

Castiel cleared space on his desk by the expedience of sweeping the previous contents to the side. He set the bundle down in the center of the surface and studied the knots in the rope before expertly untying them.

The book was old, its leather bindings cracked and crumbling. He carefully opened the cover to reveal the pages within, each hand cut, the edges beautifully deckled, the text written in pen and ink.

“This is written in ancient Enochian.” Castiel looked up, gaze narrowed. “Where did you obtain a book written in ancient Enochian?”

“Is that what it is? All I could tell is that it sure as hell isn’t English.” Mr. Winchester grinned, a dimple flashing in his cheek.

an aching in my heart by contemplativepancakes

When Dean’s best friend dies, leaving behind her daughter, Dean knows he has what it takes to give Claire the life she deserves. The problem is, they’re not related by blood, and Claire’s long lost uncle gets called to take her in. Castiel Novak was bad news when he was in highschool with Dean, and judging by his blue hair and tattoo sleeves, nothing’s changed. Castiel ran out on his family once before, and there’s no way Dean’s going to let that happen to Claire without putting up a fight.

Fools and Fate by Danica_Dust

Castiel Novak fled his coven to escape the rigid, predetermined Fate laid out for him within its confines. Desperate and alone, he took shelter in the city of Sacriloga, forsaking all magic and living off whatever he could steal. There, witches like Cas are hunted. They are feared. And they are burned.

When Jack, a young witch also on the run from his own coven, seeks out Cas’ aid, however, Cas finds that he cannot reject the boy, leaving him to his sure destruction. Especially after the newest visitor to Sacriloga makes his presence known: the legendary Hunter, Dean Winchester, who has been following Jack’s trail.

Sworn to the Men of Letters, Hunters live by one principle: thou shalt not suffer a witch to live. Dean’s path was never meant to cross with Cas', but a desperate stunt and a single mistake forces them into an impossible union—holy matrimony.

The war between the witches and the Men of Letters is an ancient one and Cas' most dangerous enemies bring a Fate worse than fire. Unable to ignore his growing feelings, yet powerless to change what he is, a choice must be made.

A suffocating Fate on one hand. A precarious freedom on the other. And in between, the kind of love that makes fools of us all.

Ozone by Deancebra

A young magic user who wants desperately to live. A jaded recluse who has forgotten what living means. They’re each other’s only chance.

Dean’s wild magic is killing him. The mage guilds have given up on him, and it’s only a matter of time before he dies in a spectacular, catastrophic bang. His only hope is an exiled wizard who lives in seclusion—and is rumored to have lost his mind.

The years alone on his hilltop estate have not been good for Castiel Novak. After the magical accident that disfigured him and nearly destroyed the village, he drifts through his days, a wraith trapped in memories and depression. Until a stricken young man collapses on his driveway, one who claims Castiel is his last chance. For the first time in fifteen years, Castiel must make a choice—leave this wild mage to his fate or take him in and try to teach him, which may kill them both. The old Castiel, brash and commanding, wouldn’t have hesitated. Castiel the exile isn’t sure he can find the energy to try.

A Demon Like Him by EllenOfOz

Dean Winchester doesn’t want to be a warlock. The idea of working in a lab, channeling demonic magic into enchanted batteries is not what he wants to do with his life, but it’s a dangerous opinion to have—his father was a powerful and well-connected warlock, and Dean is expected to follow the family tradition.

His only way out is to fail the demon summoning class—failure means expulsion from the Warlock College. Despite Dean’s best efforts to fumble the summoning, it works. Although not the way anyone expects.

Dean’s demon, Castiel, is an incubus, but also a powerful mage on a mission to rebalance the magic that is being stripped from Demonside by warlocks.

Dean must choose: fail out of his final exam and turn his back on becoming a warlock, or help Castiel and graduate. But he doesn’t count on how hot the incubus is, or how close they have become in just a few days.

A Working Relationship by fangirlingtodeath513

The homes that Castiel Novak designs for Angelic Houses are to die for. They’re pristine, perfectly designed and organized, and they’ve caused more than a few bidding wars. It’s the perfect job—he’s organized, good with math, and he’s able to pick up on design trends relatively quickly. The only thing that isn’t perfect? His obnoxious older brother, Luke. Castiel’s been vying for a position on a flipping team for years now, but Luke has never even considered it. When a lecherous gossip reporter overhears an argument, they receive an offer they can’t refuse.

They’re invited to compete on Flip Off, a competition where two people flip houses and compete for the highest profit. Castiel wants the leverage a win would bring him, but he also wants to prove himself. Enter Dean Winchester, a contractor with his own team and one that’s blissfully unconnected to Angelic Houses, allowing Castiel to prove himself without any help from the family company.

The undeniable attraction between them certainly doesn’t help matters, but Castiel is resolute in his decision to make a move only after they’ve finished working together. At least, that had been his plan until Dean made him an offer he simply couldn’t refuse.

Crashing In by followyourenergy

Castiel Novak is convinced he’s the last unwillingly single person in Lupine Cove. Even Gabriel, his perpetual bachelor brother, has found love. It’s probably because Cas leads the most boring life in existence. He’s a gay man living in a rented, one-room cottage in the same small coastal town he grew up in, just getting by as the owner of the same convenience store he was practically raised in. The most excitement he gets is chatting with the locals or maybe, if he’s unlucky, oversleeping and rushing to work. So when a baby is left at the Safe Haven drop-off at the local fire station, he takes the opportunity to step in for the child temporarily, at least until suitable parents, plural, can be found.

Life certainly gets more interesting.

And it gets even more interesting when a handsome man comes crashing—literally—into his life.

Make Me Believe by GhoulsnHalos

Ten years ago, Castiel Novak’s stepfather disowned him, taking from him his place as hereditary heir to the head of the Hunter and Warrior Guild. Now, he’s a self-made, and celebrated, master gem and metal smith. Castiel doesn’t believe that the God’s decide your soulmate. Until he designs what can only be a gift fit for his soul mate, who in contradiction to the etiquette, if not the laws of Neffroen, must be a man.

Dean Winchester is convinced that he is a lowly, dumbass, no magic hunter who couldn’t possibly be on the same social scale as a Novak. So, why is it when he spots the jewelled torc in Castiel’s shop, Dean develops an obsession over the neckpiece and its creator? It can't be anything to do with the will of the Gods, no matter what anyone says, because that's baloney and Dean's not into men.

When Castiel’s long-lost brother turns up and suggests he ought to challenge their stepfather and that Dean is destined to help Castiel rule the clan, Castiel takes some convincing. The real problem is Dean. Can Castiel with the help of family and friends convince Dean of his place by Castiel’s side? Can Dean play the part everyone expects of him to help Castiel regain his rightful place in society?

Shielded Heart by JuniperJones

Arthos, the Infinite City, is a place of alien wonders and indescribable beauty—and, most importantly for Dean, it’s also halfway across the universe from his abusive ex-fiancé. He came to the city desperate for a fresh start, but he finds himself downtrodden on a world of aloof alien beings with little hope of finding his place—and a good chance of being kidnapped or killed before he can even settle in.

At least until he is saved by an irresistible alien with piercing eyes and a seductive smile.

Castiel is the living embodiment of temptation, and he makes no effort to disguise his desire for Dean. But when his past threatens to drag Dean into a dangerous underworld, Dean discovers Castiel isn’t who he claims to be. After enduring so much suffering, can Dean bear to take a leap of faith with this mysterious alien? Can he trust Castiel with not only his life, but his heart?

Stumble and Fall by Kitmistry

Castiel was raised to do one thing: serve his country, whether that was fighting a war or becoming an expert spy. But when his lover is charged with treason and executed Castiel defects. He has evidence that can destroy the KGB’s entire spy ring in New Mexico, he has names of scientists involved with atomic weapons who send information to the Soviets, and he won’t stop until he has revenge.

Putting all his trust in the Americans, Castiel finds himself under the protection of U.S. Marshal Dean Winchester, who is too cocky and attractive for his own good, but at least seems to know what he’s doing.

When a routine transfer to a safehouse goes horribly wrong, Castiel and Dean narrowly escape with their lives. With the Marshals compromised and Castiel being framed for murder, he and Dean are on the run from KGB and law enforcement alike. They have no one to trust except each other, and nowhere to go that their enemies can’t reach.

The Shots We Don’t Take by MandalaRose

Still nursing the tatters of a broken heart and trying desperately to stave off the terror of his impending graduation, college senior Cas Novak decides it’s time to blow off a little steam. Not just any hook-up will do, however. The last thing Cas needs right now is a distraction. On the lookout for someone he can enjoy a steamy night of passion with before leaving them behind entirely, Cas thinks he’s found exactly what he needs in cocky university hockey star and well-known playboy Dean Winchester.

Dean is gorgeous, doesn’t date, and is the singular most infuriating person Cas has ever met. He’s the perfect one night stand...that is, until Dean decides he wants an instant replay of what was supposed to be a one-time event. Will Cas’ offer of friends, sans benefits, convince the arrogant love ’em and leave ’em hockey defenseman to find an easier score? Or will Dean wear down Cas’ defenses and lure the sexy nerd in the dorky trenchcoat back to his bed?

Bullets Over the Bayou (fic by mattzerella_sticks, art by dontbelasagnax)

Everyone wants Castiel Novak to quit the force, including Castiel. But he stays on despite the toxic work environment he’s surrounded by. Still believing he can do some good despite the many lines of red tape impeding him. Luckily, a pair of scissors by the name of Dean Winchester drops into his hands, and he finally feels like he can do some good.

Dean Winchester thought he would be in New Orleans for a day or two. Identify the body of his deadbeat father and then move on. No one knows he’s here. His mother and brother are blissfully unaware of the danger his father roped him into. With a parting gift of a journal, delivered to him the same day he received word about his father, Dean has become the target of a group of people who want him dead. The same people who killed his father.

Racing against the clock, can Dean and Castiel figure out what is so important about John Winchester’s journal that someone would kill for it?

Masquerade by noxsoulmate

It had begun as such a good plan; one that benefitted them both. And masquerading as Castiel Krushnic's boyfriend during the weeks of balls, galas, and charity events certainly was no hardship. With the impending end of their arrangement, though, Dean Winchester must admit that behind the mask of an aloof CEO lies a man he could fall in love with. Or maybe, he already has…

The Medium by raths_kitten

Detective Dean Winchester hates it when his Chief sends a medium to consult on his cases. But this time, the murder is closely linked to Castiel’s world and they both need to work together to solve it.

Any Semblance of Touch (fic by saltnhalo, art by c-kaeru)

1925, New York.

Dean Winchester’s life’s work is protecting the world from the supernatural relics that could destroy it. When an amulet with the power to control the tides is shipped to New York, he must intercept it before it can be used to devastating effects. This time, in order to succeed, he needs a powerful psychometric… and the only one available has sworn off the magical world altogether.

Castiel Novak’s gift comes with great risk. To protect himself, he’s become a recluse, redirecting his magic into museum research. But with the city’s fate hanging in the balance, and faced with the power of Dean’s charm and persuasion…

He can’t force himself to say no.

The Love of a Righteous Man by SargentMom573

Five years ago, Captain Dean Winchester defied his father, Senator John Winchester. With his brother Sam, and his spaceship Impala, Dean found his place among a ragtag fleet of pirates and smugglers. Their latest mission left him with a price on his head and a scar on his heart. When a surprise attack separated him from Sam and revealed a Sith weapon, he would do whatever it took to bring his brother back – even sacrifice his own happiness.

After Emperor Michael’s death broke the psychic link between them, Emperor’s Hand Castiel Novak spent years drowning his sorrows at the bottom of a barrel. Mostly sober, three years ago he found a new purpose as the Impala’s Chief Medical Officer, and Sam Winchester’s guide in the Force. And a good friend in the Impala’s gruff but kind Captain.

Dean and Castiel must work together to bring Sam home alive. But when Castiel’s last mission is exposed, will Castiel complete it and destroy any hopes Dean had for a family? Will Dean forgive Cas’ horrific purpose before it is too late? And give them both what they really want — the love of a righteous man.

SKID by spnsmile

Dean Winchester swore off love after getting dumped and fired from his job the same day. Badly drunk, he ended up balcony-hopping until a pair of hands snatched him inside a darkened room. But it's no hero, it's someone with deep voice whispering threats with a gun pointed at his back. Dean’s too drunk to deal with life but one good look at his hot assailant plus enough beer sold him to his accursed fate. The next morning, he found himself engaged to the most notorious leader of a powerful clan, Castiel Novak.

Married life in the compound for a month was not as blissful so when he could, Dean fought for that freedom. Castiel relented and as Dean tried to put the pieces of his normal life together, getting a bike messenger job and dealing with pain in the ass clients, he now also needs to deal with the dangerous presence of his very jealous and very protective husband watching over him.

Is his life ever going to get back to normal?