#holy fuck have i really been doin this shit for 12 years....?

[reignitedprimes]

𝓡𝓮𝓲𝓰𝓷𝓲𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓟𝓪𝓼𝓽

{Canon and OC RP blog}

My creations and I were displaced, killed and reforged into something new.

I, was Solus Prime. I, am reforged, reignited, reborn. I, am Silversong. Mind your step, The Lathe doesn't enjoy an audience.

The Guides | The Rules to an Old Spark | The Places We've been

[what-is-your-plan-today]

Riding High Ch 6: The Mother Ship

Chapter Summary: Mary gets into another spot of trouble and Frank’s mother turns up. (what a bitch!)

Chapter Warnings: Bad Language words.

Chapter Pairings:  Frank Adler x OFC Fliss Gallagher

A/N: Contains SPOILERS for the film!!!!! If you haven’t seen it please be aware of that before you read on. As a Lawyer I know how long the types of cases depicted in GIFTED can take, however they can also be done pretty fast. With that in mind, and because it fits with how I want the story to go I’m spreading it over approximately 6 weeks or so, so just roll with me! As always I’m a ho for a REBLOG and COMMENT!

Chapter Song: Satellite Call by Sara Bareilles

Series Masterlist Main Masterlist

“So she hit him?” Fliss looked at Frank.

Frank took a deep breath. “In the face with a book.” Fliss frowned “That doesn’t sound like Mary.”

Frank shook his head “She hit him hard too. Broke his nose. I saw the kid leaving as I was going into the school, blood all over his shirt…” he scoffed “But, you know the really bad thing about it? I’m actually kind of proud of her. I mean this kid was 12 and he was picking on another kid Mary’s age and…” “That’s not a bad thing, that you’re proud!” Fliss said, shoving the last of her sandwich in her mouth.

“You should have seen the look her head teacher gave me when I said that.” Frank snorted, scrunching the empty bag of potato chips he had been eating in his hand and tossing it into the rubbish basket in Fliss’s office. “I mean, I know you can’t hit people, and I told Mary that…” “Well, that’s it then.” Fliss said, shrugging “Job done. She did something wrong, albeit for the right reasons and you dealt out the chastisement.” “And punishment.” Frank said “Told her she had to apologise in front of the class.” Fliss leaned back in her chair and studied him for a moment “ok, what’s really bugging you Sailor?”

“Am I that easy to read?”

Fliss shrugged before she nodded and deadpanned “Yes.” Frank scratched at the skin around his collar “They raised the issue of her being gifted again, told me she would be better off in a special school.” “Ah.” Fliss made a noise “And I’m assuming you told them to politely fuck off?” “In a fashion” he snorted “I was honest, said the last thing that she needs is reinforcement that she's different. She already knows that.” “Well if you keep saying it they’ll get the message. They can’t force you to do anything you don’t want to Frank.” Until the authorities get involved… Frank shrugged the thought from his mind and looked up as Joanne walked into the office.

“Your 1pm is here.” she smiled “Hey Frank.” He nodded to her as Fliss stood up, shooting him an apologetic look “Sorry to kick you out.” “I need to get back anyway.” he shrugged “Look, do you wanna come over later? I kinda told Mary if she apologised properly and didn’t misbehave we’d get pizza. She told me to ask you so…” “Sure.” Fliss nodded, smiling softly. “Sounds good. I finish here at…” she checked her diary “4:30ish so I’ll come straight over.”

Frank nodded and with a last smile he left her to it.

The rest of the day went smoothly. There were no calls from the school, he managed to fix the fuel line on the boat he was working on which meant he was done ahead of schedule, meaning his payment would be ahead of schedule. He’d promised to pick Mary up from School so he did just that and Bonnie came out to tell him that she had, in fact, apologised and gone one further by telling the class that the kid whose project had been destroyed deserved the class prize.

“I’m proud of you.” Frank said as they drove home.

“What for?” Mary looked at him.

“For being big enough to own up to being wrong.” Mary looked at him.

“And because you did what you said you were gonna, Fliss is coming over for pizza.” “Yessss!” Mary let out a whoop, and threw her hands up in a cheer.

Frank chuckled and shook his head. The woman had certainly made an impact in Mary’s life, that was for sure. And his, if he was being honest.

He pulled up outside the apartment and knocked the car out of gear before he reached down for the handbrake.

“There's a lady standing in front of our door.” Mary said.

“Who is it?” he asked, cracking the handbrake up.

“How should I know? I'm seven.” she scoffed back.

Good point… he turned to look and did a double take as he looked at woman stood on his doorstep, dressed in a pale brown dress, sunglasses and handbag slung over her shoulder.

Frank cut the ignition, one arm resting on the steering wheel as he glanced at her.

“That would be your grandmother.” he said as Mary continued to look out of the window

“Holy shit!” she exclaimed.

He was too shocked himself to chastise her for her language, that and he kind of agreed. Holy shit indeed.

“Come on…” he said, getting out of the truck. Mary hopped out of her side and walked with him up to the door.

“Mother.” he greeted.

She looked at him with a tight smile “Frank.”

“Mary say hello.” he said, his hand falling to the back of her head.

“Hello.” she greeted his mother politely.

Frank headed up the steps and his mother moved out of the way as he unlocked the door. She reached for the large bag by her feet, which frank could see was loaded with gifts and he rolled his eyes. He gave her a look and she simply smiled as he picked up the bag and carried it in. That was typical of her, thinking she could throw money at something and make it all ok.

Frank wasn’t stupid. He knew full well that damned principal would have caused this, and his mother was here for one thing only, to see if Mary was as smart as they all said. And he didn’t like it. One bit. Still, she was his mother so he behaved as politely as he could and offered her a drink, which she declined. Then, not wanting to cause a scene, he sat down and simply let her talk to Mary as she handed out gift after gift, whilst she sniffled into a tissue.

Nice one, Fred!

“An Apple?” Mary gasped as she unwrapped the sleek, white box from it’s pink and gold polka dotted paper. “Woah…”

“It's a MacBook, darling.” his mother spoke. “Top of the line with the Retina display.”

“Hey, you know who else has a Retina display?” Frank looked at her, arching an eyebrow.

“Fred!” she said with a grin. Frank looked over and saw the cat who was lounging on Mary’s bed swish his tail.

“Mary, I understand you like mathematics.” his mother spoke and Frank took a deep breath, glancing to his side where she was stood “So, on there you will found a great out of print book by Charles Zimmer...”

Oh here we go… Frank thought to himself as he sat back, running his hand over his stubble.

“…called Transitions in Advanced Algebra.”

“Yeah. Love that book.”  Mary said, turning the laptop over in her hands.

“You're saying you've read it?” his mother spoke and Frank didn’t miss the tone of surprise, yet excitement in her voice. Nope, he did not like this one bit.

“Yeah, I've kinda moved on to differential equations now.” Mary shrugged.

“Hey, don't forget your manners.” Frank spoke from where he was sat on the chair, elbow resting on the table, hand supporting his temple “Thank you, Grandma.”

“Thank you, Grandma.”

“Grandmother or Evelyn will do just fine.”

God, she never changed…Frank inhaled and looked away, his hand falling softly to the table in a fist.

“There's so much more on there. Things I know you'll find really challenging.” she moved towards Mary and Frank stood up.

“Yes, but sadly it's a school night and there's homework to do.”

“I thought you said Lissy was coming over?” “She is, so you need to get that homework done. But…” he gestured to his mother. “What a surprise though, right? Say good night to Grandmother or Evelyn.”

“Goodnight…”

“So who’s Lissy?” his mother asked as Frank ushered her out of the house “Don’t tell me you finally sorted your life out and got a girlfriend?” “Mary’s riding instructor, and no, she’s a friend.”

“She goes horse riding?”

“Yeah.”

Evelyn looked at him, before she sneezed into her tissue.

“I'd kill a priest for a Benadryl.” she said as they strode towards the black Mercedes she was clearly hiring.

“Still with the allergies?” Frank looked at her.

“Why in God’s name have you got a cat? You don't even like cats.”

“It’s not my cat, it's Mary's cat. I'm just along for the ride.” he shrugged. “So let me guess, our lovely principal, Miss Davis…”

“Never get on the bad side of small minded people who have a little authority. I thought I taught you that.” his mother said, turning to face him as she reached the side of her car. Frank took a deep breath and looked up just as Fliss’ white jeep turned onto the road. She gave a wave and he tossed a hand back and turned to his mother.

“What are you doin' here?” he asked her bluntly.

“You don't think I have a right to see my granddaughter?”

“I do. I'm thrilled your seven year exhaustive search has finally come to a fruitful conclusion.” he retorted sarcastically.

Even before she got out of the car Fliss could tell the exchange between Frank and whoever the woman was looked tense. Frank’s face was stony and his eyes were hard in a way she’d never seen before. She hesitated for a moment, then deciding it was far ruder to sit in her car and watch, she jumped out.

“I don't think this is appropriate time to talk” She caught the woman’s British accent and her head snapped towards her. Was this his mother?

“It’s certainly not the setting.” she continued as  Frank rolled his eyes and leaned back against the car bonnet. “When I was waiting a cockroach this big tried to steal my shoe.” She finished, holding her thumb and forefingers as wide apart as they would go. Fliss shook her head, and shut her car door loudly and turned to look at Frank.

“Yeah. They'll take a shoe.” he nodded.

Fliss smirked to herself at Frank’s response and he caught her eye as she was passing.

“Mary’s inside. I’ll be with you in a sec…” he winked at her but as she turned to go the woman spoke to her. “You must be Lissy…” the woman looked her up and down. Fliss glanced down. She was still in her riding gear only had traded her long boots for a pair of sneakers. Her long checked socks still pulled up to her knees, not that she should give a shit what this woman thought but she suddenly felt a little self-conscious.

“Felicity…” Fliss said holding out her hand politely. Frank smirked to himself at her correction to his mother, using her full, formal name not nickname before he gestured between the pair of them as they shook hands, his mother raising an eyebrow at her.

“Fliss, this is my mother…” Frank said, confirming Fliss’ suspicions “She was just leaving…” he turned to look at her. His mother held his gaze and then glanced around

“Honestly, this? This God forsaken mosquito ranch was a conscious choice?”

Fliss felt a rush of anger and before she could stop herself she jumped to Frank’s defence.

“I wouldn’t worry, I find Mosquitos are pretty particular about who they bite. I hear they’re not fond of people that taste bitter.”

Frank’s mother turned to face her. Fliss could feel the nerve in her jaw twitching at the out and out bitchiness of the woman in front of her and she could sense Frank watching her. Nevertheless, she didn’t move her gaze from the woman in front of her. Frank’s mother cocked her head, almost like she was assessing her for a moment before Frank spoke up deciding to break up the battle for alpha female that was going on.

“I could drop you back off at the airport.” he looked at his mother. She shot him a look and climbed into her car, shutting the door. He walked a few paces till he was besides Fliss before he turned and looked at her as she reversed the car.

“That’s your mother?” Fliss asked as the car drove off up the road

“Yep.” Frank said, his eyes on the tailgate as it rounded the corner.

“No offence but she seems like a total bitch.”

“Not total…” Frank said, looking down at her “I’d say about 89%”

Fliss laughed and snaked an arm round his waist “Come on Sailor, I’m starving.”

Tossing his left arm round her shoulder they made their way into the house. Frank stepped aside to let Fliss in first and she headed into the living area to see Mary on the couch, cross legged with an Mac Book open

“This thing is loaded with cool problems.” Marry muttered.

“Only problem I’m interested in is picking what to have on my pizza!” Fliss spoke. Mary’s head jerked up and she grinned.

“Lissy!” She dropped the laptop to the sofa besides her and jumped up. Fliss bent down to give her a hug before she started to chatter incessantly about the laptop. Whilst Mary was talking, Fliss spotted Frank as he leaned against the doorframe, his face stony.

“Hey…” she nudged him and he turned to face her, giving her a tight smile. “Push it out…” she gently reached up and tapped her finger against his temple “Order dinner and then when Mary’s asleep we’ll talk, that is if you want.”

He gave her a smile, this time genuine and nodded.

Two hours and a couple of large pizzas later Mary was in bed and Frank and Fliss were sat on the steps outside the kitchen, drinking beer.

“So the teacher calls her, and she turns up?” Fliss shook her head “Because you pissed her off?” “The Principal.” Frank corrected her, “But yeah…pretty much.” Fliss let out a sigh.

“The thing is, Evelyn won’t give up. Not now Mary’s confirmed her suspicions.” he drained his beer.

“What you think she’s gonna do?” “I dunno.” Frank said “But one things for certain, there’s gonna be nothing good that comes from her showing up.” He looked out over the lawn, the various lamps illuminating the grounds and the street. He felt Fliss slip her arm round him and she leaned against him.

“Well, you won’t be on your own. You got me and Roberta in your corner, along with your…what was it you called them?” "Circle of Trust” he said, laughing at the fact she’d remembered the nickname he and his friends had for their group.

“Am I in that circle yet?”

“Dur.” he nudged her gently before he rest his head against her. “But, if you’re along for the ride, Cowgirl you better buckle up…coz it’s gonna be bumpy.” “Meh..” she said, giving a small huff of laugh “The best road trips are.” *****

Turns out the appropriate time and place his mother was referring to was the next lunch time at a little bar overlooking the beach. He nodded to his mother as he took his seat.

“So, are you teaching?” she asked him as he took a sip from a glass of water.

“I repair boats.” Frank replied.

“Please.” She rolled her eyes.

“I'm not bad at it either.”

“Well, then, that explains this.” she said, gesturing to his face “They don't sell sunscreen here?”

“I wear sunscreen” he said, in the same tone he would use on Mary when she was making a pointless statement.

“Not enough. And you need a hat. A big hat that shades your face and neck. You're playing Russian roulette with your skin. You look like porn producer.”

“Okay.” Frank said, shaking his head, suppressing a smile “I appreciate the advice. I do. But we're not here to talk about sunscreen, are we?”

“So no more small talk? That's a shame.”  Evelyn said, taking a deep breath “Okay, the environment you have created for that child…where she lives, the school she attends…it's substandard. Every bit of it.”

“I disagree.” Frank said calmly

“We're going nowhere if we're not being honest with each other.” Evelyn shook her head.

“I am being honest.”

“I see. Fine. Well, I'm not leaving without her.”

“Well, welcome to Florida.” Frank smiled.

“Frank, please listen to reason” Evelyn leaned forward slightly “At some point, you are going to get to the conclusion...or someone in authority is going to spell it out to you, that the child’s best interest is all that matters.

Frank bristled slightly, the child? Her name was Mary. Best interest? All he had ever done for Mary was what he thought was exactly that. He took a breath and looked at his mother, holding her gaze. “If you're gonna make me pull rank, I will. Diane didn't want you to have her.”

“”Diane...” Evelyn started before her voice dropped slightly and he3r tone became softer “Diane didn't always think things through.

“Arguably one of the brightest minds on the planet, ok.” Frank said, nodding sarcastically “Good luck going down that road”

“And what do you think she'd say if she saw how her child is living now?” Evelyn shook her head “Do you honestly think she'd be pleased?”

“That she's living a somewhat normal life? Yes. I do.”  Frank replied honestly

“She's not normal. And treating her as such is negligence on a grand scale.”       

Frank glanced down at the table cloth as she continued.

“I know your heart's in the right place on this but you are denying the girl her potential. I can provide for her. I can enrich her life.”

“Come on, Evelyn.” Frank scoffed, holding his right hand out and ticking off the points as he made them by raising his fingers “You're gonna take that girl, you are gonna bury her in tutors. Then you’ll loan her out to some think tank where she can talk non-trivial zeros with a bunch of old Russian guys for the rest of her life.”

“And you'd bury her under a rock.” Evelyn shot back “Look, I didn't expect you to understand the price you have to pay for greatness.

“Oh I do.” Frank replied, his tone stern “That's why I have Mary in the first place.

“That's uncalled for.” Evelyn’s face slipped slightly and Frank looked away. When he turned back her expression was the same as it had been prior “Your sister had a laundry list of problems. She could have solved Navier-Stokes and go down in the history as one of the greatest mathematicians of all time. But she didn't, because she couldn't finish. She was weak. Weak like a father and weak like...well…”

Frank raised his eyebrows and simply smiled at his mother as she trailed off.

“Now, if it's who I think it is... “ he said, looking down and wrinkling his nose “That kinda puts a black cloud over our luncheon.”

“You're still stubborn and vindictive.” Evelyn shook her head.

“Careful, Mother.” he said, leaning forwards resting both arms on the table “There's an apple and tree analogy lurking.”

“You guys ready to order?” the waitress interrupted the stare off they were having and Evelyn, ignoring her completely, stood up, reaching for her large bag which was resting on the table

“Here's an idea.” she said, reaching into her bag “Stop thinking about me and you...and start thinking what's best for the child. For any reasonable person, a clear picture will emerge. If it doesn't, I suggest you call your attorney.

With that she slammed a $50 note on the table and placed a salt shaker over it. Frank glanced at it before he looked back up at her.

“He'll have a bucket of beer.” she said to the waitress as she left.

Frank sighed and looked down at the table. The waitress glanced to him and he waved her away before he stood up and headed out, leaving the money where it was.

The rest of the day passed pretty fast, even if his mind was on this whole sorry mess. He managed to keep a front on for Mary, and bribed her with a trip to the stables to get her away from her Laptop and Math’s books. He had debated hiding the damned things but knew it would cause more trouble that it was worth.

“So she’s gonna take you to court?” Fliss scoffed as they watched Mary who was brushing Monty with Joanne.

“Looks that way.” Frank shrugged.

“That’s fucking unbelievable.” she seethed, and Frank had to smile at her indignation on his behalf

“Sadly it isn’t. “ Frank looked at her “I told you, she’s an exacting woman. I also told you nothing good would come of her turning up. Looks like I was right.”

“Also looks like I was right when I said she was a bitch.” Fliss replied, turning to look at him “Surely, you’re Mary’s legal guardian so they can’t just…” “Well, that’s the thing” he sighed “I’m not, it was never made official.”

“Oh.” Fliss said, looking at him before she glanced back at Mary. She took a deep breath and exhaled through her nose “You got a lawyer?”

“Yeah my friend, Greg Cullen.” Frank nodded “He’s a family law specialist…I already called him. I’m going to see him tomorrow so I can tell him everything, then it’s a case of waiting.”

He didn’t have to wait long. Two days later he received the court summons for little over a fortnight later.

*****

October 2017

“Hey…wait…”

Frank turned to see Fliss who was jogging up the steps to the courthouse. He glanced at Roberta who was smiling, a little smugly, and then back to his friend who he hadn’t expected to see today.

“Lissy? What are you doing here? Not that I’m not glad to see you but…” “I’m sorry I can’t stay I just…I wanted to swing by on the way to work and wish you luck.” she said, reaching up to straighten his tie.

“It’s just the preliminary hearing today.” Frank said.

“I know but…” she took a deep breath, smoothing out his jacket. He looked at her for a second before she pulled him into a hug.

“Call me later ok?” “Yeah, I will...”

She nodded to him, giving Roberta a smile before she turned to go

“Hey” he called after her and she looked over her shoulder at him “Thanks…”

She smiled and nodded heading back to her car.

“Lissy?” Roberta looked at him.

“What?” he frowned “It’s just a nickname...”

“Mmmhmmm...” Roberta eyed him “A nickname.”

“Yeah...”

“And she deviates here, just to give you a hug good luck, and you tell me there’s nothing going on…” 

“She’s a friend, a good friend…” Frank turned and shot her a look.

“Whatever you say…” Roberta sighed.

Frank shook his head, avoiding her gaze. If truth be told there had been the odd little moment where he’d picked up a few signals that perhaps she had feelings for him that went beyond simple friendship, the same way he had for her. But he convinced himself he was imagining things. They were from different worlds, why would a girl like her look at someone like him that way, especially with all this fucking baggage.

With a last look around he turned and headed into the court where after a short wait, they were ushered in.

Judge Edwards Nichols was a bald man with a moustache that any cowboy would be proud of. He gestured for everyone to take their seats and then pulled the case file over to him.

“Okay. Adler, grandmother and uncle…” he trailed off and looked up, glancing from Frank to Evelyn. “Really? Sure you folks don't wanna go on the hall and settle this?”

Silence ensued as Frank glanced sideways at his Mother who shifted slightly.

“No? Well, that's a shame. Mr. Cullen, you're here for the uncle.” the judge continued.

“Yes, I am, your Honor.”

“Should start charging you room and board.” Judge Nichols spoke, not looking up “Mr. Highsmith, you're on the wrong side of a bay, aren't you?”

“I'm very happy to be here, Your Honor” Evelyn’s lawyer replied.

“For the record, Mrs. Dibbons is representing the state of Florida Child Welfare Department.” Nichols spoke and Frank glanced over to look at a woman in a blue and white jacket and orange top in the gallery who held her hand up.

“Proceed.” Judge Nichols instructed and Evelyn’s attorney began to speak

“Your Honor, my client Mrs. Adler is the maternal grandmother of the child. Her daughter, the girl's mother was a troubled woman...who seven years ago sadly took her own life. It was at this time that Mr. Adler primitively and illegally…” At that Nichols shot a disapproving look at Frank and he shifted a little nervously in his seat, taking a deep breath..

“…took custody of the girl and spirited her across eight lines... for the purpose of denying my client custody.”

Frank glanced over at his mother who was staring straight ahead, avoiding his gaze.

“And there's the evidence that the child currently lives in unclean and unwholesome conditions. We petition to court to grant my client full custody of the child...so that she can return to the state of Massachusetts... and be given the care to which she is entitled.”

Frank stiffened and Greg gently placed his hand on Frank’s shoulder, shaking his head before he stood up.

“My client took an infant under his wing for one reason only. It was his sister's desire that he do so. My client has been her constant caregiver.”

Judge Nichols looked at Frank and he held his gaze.

“And your Honor, as far as the living conditions... I've been in this home. It's fine. I mean, if we adopt standards based on our Northern friend's aversion to palmetto bugs...we won't have a child left south of Tallahassee.”

There were a few dumbed down laughs from the gallery and Frank felt his spirits lift ever so slightly as Judge Nichols gave a smile and reached for a paper to his side, pen in his right hand.

“All right, last chance before this starts costing a lot more money.” he said.

“Your Honor, my client would need reasonable access to the child.” Evelyn’s attorney said after a pause.

“So ordered.” Nichols nodded “Ms. Dibbons, would you go out and check the living conditions?”

“On the books, Your Honor.” she replied.

“All right, folks. Drive carefully.”

Frank remained in his suit, deliberating what that meant. So whilst the case was on going, Evelyn would have access to Mary and his home was going to be inspected by some woman as to how sanitary and safe it was. Fantastic…

“Her lawyer has a nice suit.”  Frank said, his voice bland, betraying the hopelessness he was starting to feel.

“Relax, Frank.”  Greg looked at him “More weight's put on the talent competition. Go have a cocktail. huh?”

A cocktail, or 15, felt like a damned good idea by the time Frank had picked Mary up and gotten home.

“Roberta…” he caught her as she was walking back to her house with a clothes basket full of dried washing from the line “Would you like to have Mary tonight?

It was a pointless question, it was a Friday, she had Mary every Friday…but still.

“Why wouldn't I like to have Mary tonight?” she shook her head “I told you something like this would happen. Now look where we are”

Frank looked away, waiting got her to finish ranting.

“And I'm supposed to believe you know what you're doing. You couldn't even find a white lawyer.”

Frank scoffed “Wow…Look, just... Don't worry, okay?

“Don't tell me that.” Roberta looked at him. “There's nothing you can say that's gonna make me feel good... because I have no say in any of this, Frank! I'm not a blood relative, I'm not a legal guardian. I’m nothing. Just the lady who lives next door, whose opinion means nothing. Whose feelings mean nothing”

Frank looked down, he knew Roberta cared about Mary. Hell she cared about the both of them, even if she wouldn’t admit it. He already felt bad enough about this as it was, and she wasn’t helping.

“So would I like to have Mary tonight? I'd like to have Mary every night.”

With that she walked past him towards her house, leaving Frank staring at the floor, his mood darkening by the second.

***** Fliss was edgy. She’d messaged Frank a few times and called but he wasn’t answering or picking up, and she was getting a little worried that things hadn’t gone that well. She locked the gate to the yard and glanced at her watch. It was a little before 7.

Biting her lip she decided to head over and see if he was still in, or if he had already left for Ferg’s, given that it was a Friday night. If he had already gone, then she’d go and keep him company instead of letting him drink himself into a stupor alone.

She pulled up and, shrugging on a short sleeved plaid button down over her vest top she jogged up the steps, knocking on the door, but even as she did she knew there was no one in. The TV was off and the usual chatter wasn’t audible. As she turned to leave she heard a yell and looked over to see Mary hanging out of Roberta’s widow.

“Hey!” she grinned “Frank’s gone out…but me and Roberta are having Karaoke…wanna join?”

Fliss smiled, “How could I refuse that offer?” she laughed, and headed to the door.

“Hey Fliss!” Roberta grinned as Fliss kicked off her sneakers and stepped inside “You just in time…grab a microphone…” Fliss took the hairbrush Mary was holding out and laughed before she turned to Roberta. “How did it go? I tried calling Frank but…”

“Not too bad.” Roberta dropped her voice “They opened with some bullshit about his house being unclean so there’s some woman coming to inspect it at some point…”

Fliss wrinkled her nose and shook her head “That’s crap…” “Yeah, well, I’m gonna give it a clean anyway.” Roberta shrugged “And then apparently the Grandmother gets access whilst the case is going on so…Frank’s lawyer did a pretty good job to be fair.”

Fliss let out a sigh “I thought it was gonna be worse than that given I haven’t heard anything.”

“Well me and Frank may have had a disagreement.” Roberta said, her face contrite “So I probably put him in an even worse mood.” “Look, I know this is frustrating for you.” Fliss said gently “But the last thing he needs is everyone telling him I told you so. It is what it is, and we just gotta support him.” “I know.” Roberta said, her eyes filling with tears “I just, well, I’ve known that little girl since they arrived here looking for a house 6 and a half years ago…” “I get it, I do.” Fliss smiled “I mean I’ve only known them 8 weeks and I can’t imagine life without either of them now.” “Either of them?”

Fliss rolled her eyes “Stop it, you’re as bad as my mum.” Roberta chuckled and then both of them were instructed by Mary to stop talking and start singing, so they did.

After an hour and a rendition of what felt like Aretha Franklin’s entire back catalogue Fliss made her excuses to Mary and gave the girl a hug goodnight. Roberta walked her to the door.

“You gonna go find him?”

“Yeah.” Fliss said “Well, I’ll stop by Ferg’s that is, see if he wants some company.” “Sure he will, it’s you.” Roberta smiled. Fliss snorted, shaking her head again at the woman’s insinuations and headed to her jeep. She climbed in and headed down to the bay, mulling everything over in her head. The stupid thing was, Roberta wasn’t wrong. She did have feelings for Frank that went well beyond being merely platonic. In the short time she had known him he’d broken through every barrier she had put up, and she trusted him in a way she never thought she’d trust a man ever again. It was almost liberating for her to realise she could feel that way about someone else after everything John had put her through.

But, now really wasn’t the time to act on it, that is if she was going to act on it. She had no idea if Frank felt the same way and she needed to figure out if it was worth potentially sacrificing their friendship for. No, for now she’d simply enjoy being able to be around him, be his friend…at least until this sorry mess was all sorted.

Pulling up outside Ferg’s she checked her hair before she reached into the back of her car and grabbed her knee high boots. Her riding breaches were a light blue so they looked like jeans, meaning she didn’t feel too conspicuous. A quick squirt of perfume later she hopped out of her car and headed into the bar.

It was loud, and she glanced around trying to find a flash of one of his usual hideous Hawaiian shirts, but failed to spot one. Frowning, she was just about to give up thinking he must be somewhere else, when she spotted him at the bar, dressed in a pretty smart black and grey striped dress shirt. But he wasn’t alone. He was sat, quite close, leaning towards the woman Fliss recognised as Mary’s teacher. She hesitated for a second, and began to make her way over when Frank leaned even closer to Bonnie and Fliss’ breath caught and she felt an unwelcome, hot, buzzing sensation as she watched the pair kiss.

Well, that answered her question about what she was going to do about her feelings. Absolutely fuck all. Swallowing and blinking slightly, she turned and headed to her car, gently wiping away a stray tear as it fell down her cheek.

@the-omni-princess​​  @momobaby227​​ @geekofmanythings16​​ @angelofhell-666​​ @thewackywriter​​ @marvelfansworld​​​  @cobalt-gear​​  @asgardlover75​​ @jennmurawski13​​​​  @jtargaryen18​​​ @saiyanprincessswanie​​​  @navispalace​​​ @patzammit​​​  @joannaliceevans-fanficblog​​​ ​​ @djeniiscorner​​​  @ayamenimthiriel​​​  @coldmuffinbanditshoe​​​  @disneylovingal​​​ @madzmilllz​​  @sgtjaamesbaarnes​​ @sweater-daddiesdumbdork​​ @southerngracela​ @goldenfightergir​ @kellymat​ @official-and-unstable-satan​ @icanfeelastormbrewing​ @pagesoflauren​

[goldeneyedgirl]

2019 Fic Meme

My end of year fic meme, compiled from some old Livejournal fic memes that I do when I write stuff. I do this for fun, because I like looking back at what I have and haven’t written, and what keeps popping up again.

It’s meant to be silly fun, and if anyone else wants to do it, PLEASE DO. I don’t want to tag anyone and put pressure on you in case you don’t want to/don’t think you have enough fic/hate memes. 

Twilight

12 Days of Fic-Mas (Twilight, WIP) Day 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, bonus.  Twelve days of fic extracts, previews, and drabbles focusing on Alice Cullen. Encompasses Folie A Deux, The Only Girl in the World, JessaminexAlice, Omens, Asylum, The Long Way Around, The Dark and the Unknown, Hybrid, Runaway, All These Broken Things, & The Unexpected Second Life of Mary Alice Brandon 

Shadow to Light  (WIP) (Alice/Jasper, AU Angst, PG) In 1918, Jasper lures the newborn known as Mary-Alice back to Monterrey. He is lost to her before it even begins.

Total number of completed stories: Lol.

Total word count: 33,304 words were posted. 

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted?  Look, I just... 2019 was a wash in so many ways. I played a lot of Fortnite really badly. I would have loved to be able to say Shadow to Light was finished, or that I was posting Hybrid regularly or something, but I can’t. I wish, wish, wish I had posted more but alas. 

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January? Outside of Twilight, I dabbled with some reader/Ben in the Umbrella Academy, and I was messing around with some Janet/Wanda in my personal MCU canon. As for Twilight, I think my stuff got a lot darker? Like, we’re down the rabbit hole here, and somehow Alice ended up being the most feared vampire in the Americas? Yeah. 

And there’s the Avengers/Twilight fic that is simultaneously three fics and one fic because I cannot make Executive Decisions and I can’t decide if I like 1. Alice knowing Bucky from Before Jasper; 2. Alice knowing Hawkeye from when he was a kid in the circus and being how Natasha and Clint got out of Budapest, or 3. the Volturi hooking up with Hydra and ... yeah, I think this one is legit the most second-most one of the most embarrassing things I’ve ever written. (I’ve been filing today, and boy howdy have I written some actual shit.)

What’s your own favourite story of the year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you happiest? That’s like making me pick a favourite child. I’m always so, so proud of Shadow to Light, and I love The Dark and the Unknown ‘verse, and Hybrid is just hanging out there, chilling and ugh. My babies <3 

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?  TwilightFicMas was a huge risk! I wasn’t sure anyone cared unless I was posting more Shadow to Light, and people were SO nice and enthusiastic. So I guess the lesson is shut up and share more fic? Get out of your own head and spend time in the community because fandom isn’t meant to be lonely?

Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the New Year?  I’m starting a graphic design business AND my masters in design in 2020, so I figure fic is going to be my downtime next year. Ideally, I would love to get STL finished, Memento Vivere’s sequel going, and have a few of my shorter pieces posted. I would really love to get some of my original stuff ready for publication, but I’d be happy studying, running my business, and doing the fic thing for 2020.  

My best story of this year: That’s up to the readers, I guess. Everyone seemed obscenely enthusiastic about The Unexpected Second Life of Mary Alice Brandon, though, and I was not expecting that at all - I was actually upset that I left the ‘dud’ fic for the last day of FicMas. 

My most popular story: Shadow to Light. Everyone is so nice and enthusiastic and polite about that one. I’m not used to it! Fandom for me is usually me sitting in a corner, doin’ my obscure thing, and maybe one or two people will read what I’m working on.

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion:  I think everyone was super enthusiastic and nice about everything I posted this year. Maybe Folie A Deux? But like, that reflects more on me and the excerpts that I chose to post rather than the fic or the audience itself. 

Most fun story to write:  The Unexpected Second Life of Mary Alice Brandon because that Alice is so happy; I have this playlist for it that is super upbeat and funky. 

Hybrid is fun because that Alice likes to torment Jasper. He understands Edward on a molecular level once Alice arrives. 

Most Sexy Story: The Dark and the Unknown is the front-runner for that, because most of the sexy goings-on in Shadow to Light is very much focused on the psychological and emotional aspects rather than the physical.

Story with the single sexiest moment:  The Dark and the Unknown. I am still deeply uncomfortable writing sex scenes, so this may be the only one I ever do. The implication of a blow job in Shadow to Light nearly kill me tbh.

The forest behind the school is silent; just her breathing, and the slight wind. No birds or wildlife, none of the hum of the traffic or of the school.

They don’t undress more than necessary, her skirt slid to her hips, and he takes her roughly against a tree, flakes of bark falling into the dirt. She is hot and slick, and silent as he fucks her, his fingers digging into her hips, a growl rising in his chest. She is every bit his fantasy; the smell of damp flowers, the sweetness of her flesh, her willing supplication. His fingers tear through the lace of her tights as he grips her thighs, and the heels of her shoes must be bending, she’s digging them into the backs of his legs so hard.

Most “holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story:  The Long Way Around makes Jasper and Alice’s relationship pretty fucked up, and tbh I look back at it and really struggle with how dark it is and how dark Jasper’s character becomes. There’s a reason that Shadow to Light is the ‘official’ version - it’s a better balance, and I actually think Maria is a lot more interesting in Shadow to Light as a villain with complex relationships with both Jasper and Alice to the point where none of them really want to have to kill each other, but there is a lot of hate on both sides. 

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters:  That’s a hard question. Shadow to Light definitely did that because I had to consider what happened when you took Alice out of the picture, and how that changed what happened, and considered the inter-family relationships. So much of canon relies on Alice’s visions that things can’t just happen the same way. 

Hardest story to write: Shadow to Light isn’t easy because I have such a specific idea of how it plays out, how it ‘looks’ in my head, and because Alice is so fundamentally different to canon. More innocent when it comes to normal interactions, and so controlled because it meant life or death - but she’s still got to be Alice in a way that people can recognize. It also has to sound right? If I can’t get the right turn of phrase for one scene, it has to be put aside until I can work it out. 

 All These Broken Things is hard because I started it back in, like, 2014ish and my writing and understanding of the characters and canon has changed so much - plus there are a few sections that came to me quite early in the writing, and now sound really out of place, but are such a strong linchpin for the story that I have to rework them in. It’s a good kind of hard, though, because I’ve improved so much, my ideas and goals are more refined. 

Most disappointing:  Omens is a little bitch, honestly. I started it for a fic contest and kept going to explore Alice’s human life, and it doesn’t quite feel like my writing? It needs reworking, and be a little less obvious because I think the ‘four horsemen of the apocalypse’ is a good theme for a Human!Alice fic. 

Easiest story to write: Depends on my mood; Hybrid is great when I’m in kind of a ‘girls kicking ass’ mood and boot up my action girls playlist.

Biggest surprise:  Hybrid started as a love story that was basically ‘yeah, let’s make this shit super dramatic and overwrought’, and turned into this actual story with a huge focus on family and relationships. I can’t remember why I decided Alice’s father had a husband except that I was thinking about small town ‘otherness’, and LGBT+ people can and are still considered ‘other’ in these spaces. 

Then you add in Alice and Cynthia who are basically in the same boat but have been separated for their entire lives. Alice has knowledge in her corner, whilst having to fight through foster care, abuse, and hospital; whilst Cynthia has lived a very normal but privileged life as the daughter of a mixed-race same-sex couple in a very small town. I went full-hog with this, and added in an extended family, because I really hated how canon went balls-to-the-wall to isolate Bella from everyone, including Charlie. 

Like, this thing is a monster, and whilst I plan to sit down and rewrite the outline (which dates back to 2016, and I hate the ending of), I stopped outlining at 65 freaking chapters. 

Most unintentionally telling story:  I think this question that still confuses me finally gets a decent answer in The Dark and the Unknown - Jasper is seeing most of it from his perspective, and there isn’t a ton of dialogue. I’ve tried to avoid an info-dump, but it’s meant to be quite supernatural in tone, and focusing on vampire senses and gifts enhances that. 

Story I’d like to revise:  All These Broken Things wins that one. Due to the age of the piece, there are some pacing and tone issues in later chapters that are the reason I haven’t formally posted it. 

Story I didn’t write but will at some point, I swear: Oh man, I really want to finish A Thousand Years of Solitude, which is a Tanya fic. I’m really happy with what I’ve got so far, but it sounds smarter and more layered than it really is, so I’m kind of stuck. 

Mad World because Romani!Alice is super sassy and taking 0% of Swan or Cullen bullshit - I think 90% of my fic is just me going, “yeah, that’s not how normal people react.” And I’m a sucker for gothic horror. 

What else? Aww, Against A Wall which is AU Human Jasper coming from the shittiest home, and Alice finding him. It’s meant to be short, and another one I have a really clear idea of how it needs to work. 

And the one where Alice’s gift is a sentient power that pushes her to follow it; that Bad Things happen if she doesn’t; that Renesmee was always Endgame for Something, and Alice was a key piece to get that result. Or the one where Aro takes Alice as a ‘guest’ for a period because of Edward and Bella, and Alice’s gift is basically broken. 

Good times. I have like 5 years of fic on this computer, we could be here for awhile. 

[ladyshandioftheendless]

Shandi’s StarTerror Saga 2!

I just really like these two together okay. Thank you all for indulging in my nonsense~ <3

~Shandi

Paul takes a small step into Mötley Crüe’s crazy world, but finds himself needing something else.. 

MAKE ME FEEL AGAIN Part 2

“Holy shit, Princess..I can’t believe it’s you. Even without all those fancy markings on your face I’d know it anywhere~” Hearing that made Paul’s heart flutter. He wrapped his arms around Nikki’s shoulders and held him close. “I’ve missed you too~ I never expected to run into you here of all places. How long have you been here?” 

“Couple years. You?” 

“About..12 years?”

“Fuck. Guess I’ll have to look up your older albums~” 

“I can give you some~” 

They were interrupted by Vince’s exasperated sigh. "Just catch up with me at the usual spot. I wanna drink.” He deliberately forced himself between them as he walked out. Paul frowned. “Is he okay?” Nikki just snorted. “He’s fine. He’s just pissed off cause he didn’t score with you. He’ll get over it when he’s got some chick shaking her tits in his face~” Paul laughed softly. He actually missed hearing those crude words. “Why don’t you come with us? We’re in California 10 days for the tour and we’ve got the night off before we head to Santa Monica so we’re gonna party like it’s goin’ out of style~” That sounded so wonderful. What he wouldn’t give to just forget about KISS and stay with Nikki..but he’d never hear the end of it. Primarily from Gene. He sighed. “I can..come with you tonight..but I have to go back in the morning. KISS is touring in Europe right now..and I kinda ditched them to come here.” Nikki laughed. “The prim and proper Princess playing hooky? Say it ain’t so!” When he blushed Nikki laughed harder and ruffled his curls. “Where’s my real Princess and what have you done with him~?” What a callback~ “Well, Nikki..maybe you can help me find him tonight~” 

“There you are! The fuck’ve you been doin’?” Tommy ran up behind them when they left the room. “Y’know Vince and Mick are already down there right? I’ve been waitin’ for–” He stopped when Paul looked at him. “Ohhh I see…y’found somebody for us to play with~ What’s your name, sexy~?” Nikki rolled his eyes. “Y’don’t recognize him? Take a good look.” Tommy leaned close to Paul’s face with narrowed eyes. “Uhh..sorry. Drawin’ a blank. We met him before? Cause I’m sure I’d remember~” Paul shook his head. “Maybe you’d recognize me more with a star over my eye~?” 

“A star..? I don’t– wait..no way!! You're Prince Hottie from KISSteria!!” 

“Congratulations, you win~” 

“Oh yeah? You gonna give me a nice prize~? Hey!!” Tommy ducked when Nikki tried to smack him in the head. “C’mon, man..sharing is caring~” 

“No.”

Paul playfully pushed them aside and walked on ahead. “It’s getting hot in here~ I'll be waiting at the end of the hall when you two decide to stop bickering like horny teenagers~” Feeling their eyes on him, he turned his head and blew them a kiss. 

“Fuck Nikki lemme have some of that~” 

“I wouldn’t even let Vince touch him. I’m sure as hell not gonna make an exception for you.” 

“You greedy asshole!” 

“Deal with it. C’mon I wanna catch up to him.” 

“We’re gonna change first right? Cause we’re fuckin’ gross.”

“Obviously.” 

Paul was leaning against the wall with crossed arms and tapping his foot impatiently by the time Tommy and Nikki met up with him again. At least they looked a lot nicer in fresh clothes. “It’s impolite to keep a girl waiting~” Nikki just smirked and wrapped an arm around his waist. “Promise to make it up to you later~” Tommy brazenly groped his ass while Nikki wasn’t looking. This was going to be an eventful night~ 

“Where are we going anyway?” Paul asked as the Twins led him downstairs to the building’s basement. “Relax, Princess~” Nikki said, holding him closer. “This is where the after party’s happenin’~ Just stick with me and you’ll be fine~” The room was loud. Full of rowdy people dancing and drinking. Probably getting high in the bathrooms. Definitely fucking in them too. Paul immediately felt uncomfortable. They found Mick at a table and sat down to join him. “’Bout time you got here.” he said, leaning back in his chair and taking a long drink from his bottle. “Vince already started without ya.” Tommy spotted Vince in the crowd dancing with a topless girl. “Yep, I see ‘im! If you’ll all excuse me I think I’d like to get in on that myself~” Paul fully expected Nikki to follow, but he stayed right there next to him. “You’re not going?” 

“Nah. Would be a bit of a dick move if I asked you to stick with me and then went off somewhere else wouldn’t it?” 

“Fair point.” 

“Not a fan of this are ya?”

“Not particularly.” 

“You can’t tell me that KISS doesn’t party like this~”

“No I can’t..but I don’t really participate. At least..I haven’t for a while. I haven’t wanted to.” 

Nikki frowned. There was definitely a lot more behind that. “You wanna get outta here?” 

“Yes please.” 

“C’mon then.” Getting up from his chair Nikki patted his bandmate’s shoulder. “Will you let the guys know we ducked out? I’ll seeya back at the hotel.” Mick nodded. “Just be careful out there, kid. If we have to bail your ass out again I’m kickin’ it.” Paul raised an eyebrow. “What is he talking about~?” 

“Long story. Tell ya later~” 

“Can’t wait to hear that little tale~” 

Paul found himself a little envious of Mötley Crüe’s much larger tour bus. At least until he saw the inside. He laughed and shook his head. “I think it’s about time you get someone to do some cleaning around here~” Nikki guided him by the hand towards the back. “Don’t worry, Princess..my bed is nice and clean~” He grinned and pulled Paul close for a kiss. “Y’know..we got the bus to ourselves for a few hours..how ‘bout we make up for lost time~?” How could he say no? Nikki Terror’s charm was totally irresistible. As soon as he nodded he found himself on the bed with Nikki on top of him, kissing and biting at his neck. Memories of them together at the Palace flooded back instantly, overtaking all rational thought. He closed his eyes and moaned, wrapping his legs around Nikki’s waist. “Gods I’ve missed you so much, Nikki...I need you..please..take me..make me yours..” Nikki’s breath tickled his ear as he laughed. “Baby..you’ve been mine again from the moment I saw you~”  

To be Continued!!

[gocatboygo]

1-50 for Sarsaparilla?

ohhh my god skfjskdf sarsaparilla has no development whatsoever this is gonna be a blast and a half

1) which faction did they side with (NCR, legion, yes-man, or house)?

she sided with the legion from the time she saw vulpes in nipton bc Romam Armor Look Cool, cured caesar of his tumor & everything, and then just before the battle of hoover dam, assassinated caesar and sided with yes-man. she realized about halfway through her work for caesar that siding with the legion was never going to pay off and decided to Fool Him TM and then take vegas for herself

2) preferred armor?

OOF probably like… leather armor sdkfjsdk i dont know. she wore the tribal raiding armor at the very beginning of the game. she doesnt wear the legion uniform but i imagine her w some Legion Accessories TM like a mark of caesar on her chest or something

3) melee, guns, energy weapons, or unarmed?

melee babey

4) highest skills? secondary skills? lowest skills?

her highest skills are melee, stealth, and medicine (she polishes that up real nice when she realizes caesar has cancer). secondary skills are explosives and lockpick. lowest skills would have to be barter and survival :/

5) SPECIAL stats?

im just guessing at this point bc i dont remember them skdfjkd but i would say ST:5, PE:6, EN:4, CH:4, IN:6, AG:9, LK:9

6) what are their perks?

black widow, cherchez la femme, friend of the night, cannibal, scrounger, ninja

7) favorite companions? least favorite companions?

literally no one will hang out w her bc she’s legion ksdfjsd. she takes boone as a companion at the very beginning of the game and then she has to kill him. her fave would probably be cass, or raul, who is the Only Mf who will talk to her

8) any romantic partners? how do these relationships begin and end? are they healthy?

she thinks vulpes is hot for 0.2 seconds but she also thinks that about violet, gloria van graff, and some securitrons so i wouldnt worry about it

9) gender / sexuality / ethnicity / species / etc.?

cis female / bi / asian / human ((i just realized all my couriers are cis even though im trans as hell sdkfjsdkfsdj yikes))

10) where were they born/raised? when/why did they leave?

she doesn’t remember anything from b4 the bullet but she’s from new reno. she left because it’s new reno.

11) when, why and how did they become a courier? how long did they remain a courier before benny shot them?

she needed work after she left home and delivering packages didn’t seem terrible. she did it for like 2 years max before she got shot

12) how did the bullet affect them?

took out most of her memories (including her name) and sort of scrambled her good sense. she doesn’t feel very much fear, restraint, or remorse anymore, which is why she’s been doing All This recently

13) how did they deal with benny?

seduced him, slept with him, killed him in his sleep, and took his roomba yes-man

14) what’s their reputation with the ncr / the legion?

the ncr - fucking horrible she can barely go on the strip sdjfskdsd. pile body upon body babey. / the legion - superb. sparkling. if she weren’t a woman they’d even stop insulting her

15) what do the people in freeside think of them? the followers, the kings, the garrets, the van graffs?

the followers aren’t a fan of her because of all that legion business. the kings like her because she takes care of rex. the garrets generally dislike her. the van graffs like her a lot because she let them kill cass & did all their quests

16) what’s their reputation with goodsprings / novac / primm? (i know primm reputation was cut from the game but like let’s pretend for a minute sdkfjd)

goodsprings: bad bc she sided with the powder gangers kdsfjs / novac: she did come fly with me so its lookin alright! / primm: very mixed bc she’s pro-powder ganger but she also got them a new sheriff (meyer) 

17) what’s their reputation with the khans / the brotherhood / the boomers / the powder gangers?

the khans: she’s a Legion Ambassador… a shining monument of their new allies… Excellent and yet they know fuckall about her / bos: well she did blow up that whole bunker. / boomers: i dont remember / powder gangers: as i mentioned before she sided with them at goodsprings and made meyer a sheriff so they like her a lot. boxcars is happy to see her

18) what do the people on the strip think of them? the omertas, the white gloves, the chairmen, ncr military police, mr. house? do the gamblers like them?

the omertas: she did cachino’s quest so it’s pretty good / white gloves: idolized / chairmen: hey that’s the fink that killed benny / ncrmp: BAD / mr house: well considering the fact that she killed him, not excellent 

19) what is their motive for taking vegas?

literally just ‘she wants to’. the whole point of this courier was that she’s a no rules run, she’s lost a lot after the bullet scrambled her brain and she’s literally just doing whatever she wants to do

20) do they have a theme song?

no :(

21) what do they look like? how tall are they? are they attractive? any piercings, tattoos, scars?

she has black hair in the “blast back” style. pretty short, like 5′4″. no piercings or tattoos (but she probably gets a legion brand at some point w like the mars symbol or something). there’s of course a bullet scar on her head, and a few around her arms and torso.  

22) how old are they? do they know their birthday? if so, what’s their sign?

she’s in her early-mid twenties, very young. im not sure if she remembers her bday (probs not) but she’s a Sagittarius 

23) do they speak any languages other than english?

god no. she doesnt even try to learn latin jhjhkjgfkj she pronounces all of it wrong and caesar’s like please shut up,

24) can they read, write, do math, sing? did they ever receive an education?

she went to school in new reno so she can do all that. maybe not sing.

25) what were their parents like? are they still on good terms with their parents?

i honestly havent given it much thought. her parents were probably Just Okay TM. she doesn’t remember them.

26) what’s their d&d alignment? (bolded bc i really like that one ksdjfksd)

chaotic neutral, leaning into chaotic evil.

27) how’s their karma?

not great

28) how do they feel about killing people? do they try to avoid it?

like i said, the bullet messed w her remorse a lot, so it doesn’t particularly bother her anymore.

29) do they take chems? if yes, when and which ones?

yes, sometimes! usually mentats, buffout, med-x, or psycho.

30) do they gamble? where? is their luck good?

she likes to gamble. usually at the ultra-luxe. her luck is pretty good!

31) where do they usually sleep? do they have more than one home location? do they live with any other people?

she usually stays in the lucky 38, in her hotel room in novac, or in the tent Big C TM hooked her up with at the fort. if it comes to it she’ll sleep in the ncrcf. no one else really lives in her 38 save for the securitrons

32) what are their favorite weapons? where did they get these weapons?

her caesar’s fall collection legion-brand machete babeyyyy, one n only! she’ll also use a pistol (a light shining in darkness most of the time since u know she sides w joshua graham) or a police baton if that’s appropriate

33) do they flirt a lot? is it well-received?

yes she does and no it isnt! she licked vulpes. just. right on his visibly ugly face. one time she tried to climb yes-man

34) do they goof around a lot? do other people find it funny or do they just entertain themselves?

once again yes she does and no they do not! she’s doin it all for her, baby. chaotic neutral here we go

35) what do their companions think of them? are they close? have they done any companion quests?

the companions,, obviously dont think very well of her most of the time bc she’s legion. cass thinks she’s a Real Wild Card and respects her for that at first. raul doesn’t like her very much but he’ll still travel with her from time to time just to see what she Does TM.

36) why did you create them?

i wanted to do a no rules run! like i thought it would be cool to just. do the craziest things i could think of in fnv and do it all with one courier. and thus sarsaparilla was born

37) do they draw, paint, play any instruments?

hell no

38) how do they deal with injuries? do they use stimpaks, healing powder, med-x? does a companion help them? can they bear a lot of pain, or do they need to attend to injuries immediately? when they do have to see a doctor, do they have a preferred doctor, or do they just see anyone?

she uses all 3 depending on how bad the wound is. for minor wounds she uses healing powder because she has an abundance of it from the legion, but since she has fairly low endurance she often just has to use stimpaks & med-x. she’s not very tolerant to pain all of the time? but if she has a lot of adrenaline (which she comes by very easily) she can all but ignore it entirely. she doesnt have a preferred doctor

39) have they ever been irradiated? how did they deal with it? did it have lasting effects?

probably a few times but she just threw up and then took a bunch of rad-away and ended up fine. she’s never been damaged by radiation permanently 

40) in conversation, are they kind? gentle? sarcastic? rude? do they speak warmly and openly with people, or are they more guarded? do they talk a lot?

she’s somewhat talkative, she mostly says whatever pops into her head whenever it comes to mind so her talking is just. a big mess of Thoughts She Had. she likes making a lot of jokes that are mostly for her

41) do they like long journeys through the mojave, or do they prefer to travel more quickly? do they prefer using roads or travelling through the deep desert?

she likes to travel quickly. no time to waste! she’s almost always using the roads

42) name a random fact about your courier.

she thinks it’s really funny to blow vulpes’s cover whenever she sees him undercover on the strip & she almost gets killed every single time. oh holy shit it’s vulpes! vulpes inculta! spelled v-u-l-p– oh my god its the ncr mp quick vulpes take your dick out in this gift shop

43) do they watch movie holotapes? what are their favorites? least favorites?

yes but shes literally only seen blazing saddles, gladiator, and we bought a zoo

44) what do they do with the lucky 38? do they like being there? do they leave their companions there? if they’re a yes-man courier, do they open it back up as a casino?

she doesn’t leave companions there too often, like i said. she likes it pretty well bc of the robots and the hot water? but i think that she really prefers staying in hotels except for special occasions. she doesnt open it back up bc yes-man kills her sldkfjds great transition 

45) what do they do after hoover dam?

yes-man says fuck work and just absolutely murders her. hes like ok enough of this and finds a new human to do what he needs done skdfjksd

46) how do they die? how is their death received, by the mojave and by their companions?

yes-man fucking KILLS her ass! the mojave takes a great big breath of relief knowing they wont have to watch her shenanigans anymore skdjfds

47) what are their vices? are they an alcoholic, a thief, a hoarder?

oh boy literally all of them. she definitely steals a lot but thats literally just. a part of her “do whatever you want” complex that Is TM her greatest vice

48) can they cook, and if so, what do they cook? what are their favorite & least favorite foods?

she absolutely cannot. she likes pizza from the tops dskfjkds

49) did they kill caesar? vulpes inculta? what about prominent ncr figures, like kimball and colonel hsu?

yes she did kill caesar! her securitrons killed vulpes at hoover dam and she was power-tripping so hard she didn’t realize they’d already gotten to him. she probably didnt think about him again before she died. she didnt assassinate kimball herself but she definitely assisted in making the assassination go smoothly, and im sure her robots got to hsu sometime before she had yes-man throw oliver off the dam skdjfskd

50) what’s their happiest memory?

not to be fake deep but all this shit she does obviously causes more adrenaline than happiness. you could say that it’s when yes-man threw oliver off the dam, because that was her most exhilarating moment, or you could say that it was when she woke up in goodsprings, because it was the last time she was calm and being taken care of.

—

thank u so much if u read all this and thank you for sending me this ask. it took a long time but its a good exercise like i said skdfjsdf. send me more if these if yall have the heart, maybe not a whole 1-50 but like ! & please reblog my fnv courier questions post because i do think its nice, bye

[shadowburner76]

DO THEM QUESTIONS TOO BBY, A L L. O F. T H E M. /ineedtoknowmoarabtsenpaihuehuehqodbaosk/ ( ˘▽˘)teheh--

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?Not really.2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?Four tbh. I don't really like the dark too much?? It isn't 100% afraid of the dark, more of what's within it and watching me, you know?3. The person you would never want to meet?Donald Trump. I'd probably end up beating the shit out of him.4. What is your favorite word?Fuck5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?A weeping willow! I rlly love them and they're so pretty 6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?"Oh god"7. What shirt are you wearing?My 'Gaming Peridot' shirt! Hella comfy 8. What do you label yourself as?A Raging Bisexual9. Bright room or dark room?Dark bc nap time10. What were you doing at midnight last night?Tryin to help a fren out11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?Like,, five? I was livin on a farm w/ goats and a cow who thought he was a goat. I also rlly like my age now bc my birbs, cats and pupper12. Who told you they loved you last?My dad. It was kinda awkward 13. Your worst enemy?My mom's boyfriend. He's a dick.14. What is your current desktop picture?I think my last desktop picture on my sisters computer was Zenyetta from OW15. Do you like someone?Possibly 16. The last song you listened to?Wait For It from Hamilton 17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?Probably myself 18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?My mom and my mom's boyfriend 19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?Probably Ohmwrecker?? I'd force him to play video games with me20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)My thighs,, thicc af 21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?I'd be taller, have a lil bit of muscle and if wank it22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?Falling asleep in the most uncomfortable places 23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?Basements. Don't like em,, never will. I used to be rlly fuckin afraid of mirrors too?? I'd scream and start crying whenever I saw one24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.Steak and cheese, pepper, onion, spinach and ranch 25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?Bird clipping, some snack, lighter fluid and so on26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?F r a n c e27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?Captain Morgan 28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? Weed is legal and you can't do shit about it29. What is your favorite expletive?Fuck30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?Probably my Eevee??31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?Abuse.32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!Japan, France or Greece33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?My cat. Junebug34. What was your last dream about?Tbh I don't know?? I think it was one where I had a twin sister and bad things happened and it ended up with my head bashed into a water fountain and my eye missing.35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?Are you a good person to animals?36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?Yup. All throughout my life. Got sick a lot as a kid and later in life a ton of shit happened and wowow a lot of hospital visits 37. Have you ever built a snowman?Every year38. What is the color of your socks?I don't have any on, but I love my funky socks. They have wild designs and I like to mismatch them39. What type of music do you like?Anything and everything40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?Sunsets41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?Peanut butter and banana 42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)Cincinnati Bengals for American football, but I don't rlly know any soccer teams qrivnb never found interest in the sport43. Do you have any scars?Yup. One on my chin, my knees and elbows, forearm, stomach, forearm and abdomen area44. What do you want to be when you graduate?Zookeeper45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?Weight46. Are you reliable?I mean, kinda?? Like I am at times, but then other times I suck complete ass47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?Have you completed your life goals?48. Do you hold grudges?Yes. I hold them very easily and for years at a time49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?An owl and a wolf 50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?I accidentally sent a friend a weird picture of my face and I screamed for them to delete their messages and to not look then I sent a crying picture with "hnnng" across the bottom.51. Are you a good liar?Yes52. How long could you go without talking?Like,, three days to never replying ever 53. What has been you worst haircut/style?I cut my hair to ears length and I justSweet child why,, multiple people called me young man too54. Have you ever baked your own cake?Yes55. Can you do any accents other than your own?Yea I pick up on accents vvv easilyI was talking to my sister and slipped into what people would call a "Boston accent" and my sister was like "dude wtf you went all Boston on us,, u doin okay?"56. What do you like on your toast?Butter and jelly 57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?A mask for my oc?58. What would be you dream car?Jeep59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.I sing and sit instead of standing60. Do you believe in aliens?Yes 61. Do you often read your horoscope?Nah62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?J or W63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?Why can't it be both???64. What do you think about babies?Please don't put them in my arms,, I don't wanna drop em65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.Penis

[coffee-obsessed-writer]

“Our Future”

Dialogue prompts requested by @his-paradox . Not sure if this is what you had in mind hun, but I hope you enjoy it!

Daryl Dixon x Reader

Warnings: Language, Canon Divergence, Violence

Prompt #12 – “Do it. Take a chance, I’m begging you. You don’t want to spend the rest of your life wondering what could have been.”

Prompt #15 – “I can’t stop thinking about the future. About our future. Do we even have one, or should I just move on?

The porch swing moved absently with the breeze while you sat upon it, legs crossed. Two in the morning had come and gone and your boyfriend still wasn’t home yet. It wasn’t the first time he stayed out too late, but it was going to be the last.

You were fed up with waiting on him lately. In the two years, you had been with Daryl Dixon on and off, he had been someone you could count on; till Merle showed up. He’d just been released from jail after a six-month stint for possession and turned up on your porch looking for Daryl.

Within several weeks, Daryl had all but disappeared from your life, leaving you with a string of broken promises and an even bigger broken heart. His call earlier promised he would be by to pick you up and take you out for the night, but he never showed.

The rumbling purr of a motorcycle engine turned on your street, its single headlight directed into your small driveway and came to a stop. Daryl killed the motor and slowly dismounted. You could see he wasn’t exactly drunk, but he wasn’t sober either.

Daryl climbed the steps, and even in the low light of the porch bulb, you could see his eyes were dark with regret.

“Hey,” he said, greeting you meekly, “you’re still up.”

“Mmhmm, thought I had a date tonight. But he never showed,” you looked away, not wanting to lose the anger simmering under the surface.

“Y/N… I’m – I’m sorry. I fucked up… Merle and I were getting’…”

“Daryl, just stop.” You got up from the swing and stood in front of him. Taking a long look at the man who held your heart, you tried to find the words you needed. “I sat here tonight and waited for you. Again. You chose Merle, again. He’s your brother, I get it. But where’s he been the last couple years? Jail or screwin’ his way through northern Georgia…”

“That ain’t fair,” Daryl challenged, “he’s been around for me. All I ever had was Merle.”

“I know, but you have me too. That part you seem to forget.” Your words caused him to wince and cast his eyes to the porch. “Daryl, I sat here tonight… I couldn’t stop thinking about the future. About our future. Do we even have one, or should I just move on?”

“Move on? Why? Cause Merle’s back? So, what… you sayin’ it’s you or Merle?” Daryl’s demeanor changed quickly, his body tense, shoulders pushed back in a defensive stance.

“No, I am asking if I matter to your future,” you knew the second the words left your lips, what his answer was.

“What future?” he asked sarcastically, taking a cigarette from his pack and lighting it. “We ain’t got a future… any of us. Don’t you see what’s startin’ to happen out there? People dyin’ coming back… ain’t no future anymore girl.”

“I saw bits of it, but… it’s… it’s not like it’s the end of the world Daryl. There is a future… and we can have one. A great one,” you begged him, but you could see his face was set in a way that meant he had already made up his mind.

“Look, I came to tell ya me and Merle, we’re takin off… gettin’ outta town before the shit hits. I came to see if you wanted to come.”

“Do you want me too?” you swallowed hard and when he looked away, you had your answer. “Ok then, thanks for coming by Daryl. It’s been fun I guess.”

You couldn’t look at him anymore. Turning towards the house, you walked past him and as you opened the door to enter, he called your name.

“Y/N, I do want you to come…” his voice was soft like it was when the two of you had spent countless hours whispering under the covers. Your heart broke a little more because you knew he partially meant it.

“Maybe… but Merle doesn’t,” you said without turning around. “But I appreciate you trying to convince me you do.”

You let the door close with a bang. The second it was closed you slid down it, quiet sobs wracking your body. Minutes later, the bike’s engine came to life, and Daryl Dixon rode down the street and out of your life.

  Daryl was right. The future, as you knew it, got canceled. Over the next year everyone around you faded away, entire neighborhoods and cities fell. You kicked yourself for not going with Daryl, but tried to rationalize it to yourself by reminding your heart how he had stomped on it for Merle… again.

After a few months of moving around, you decided to move further into the woods to try and find shelter. One night a herd got too close and you thought it was the end. Out of nowhere a group of people began shooting them down, saving you from certain death.

The leader called himself the Governor and invited you to live in their community. Within a week, you had settled in but still thought back to the days before the outbreak. 

The night Daryl came to your porch still sat in the back of your mind and you couldn’t help but wonder where he was. You knew he’d be alive; he was a survivor after all. Pushing him from your mind, you tried to focus on your life new in the new community. 

It was only a day or two later that you thought you saw Merle for the first time. Walking down Main Street in Woodbury, you saw someone him from behind and chuckled to yourself how much he looked like Merle.

When he turned around, you stopped dead in your tracks. His head thrown back and laughing at something the Governor said, Merle Dixon stood before you, bigger than life. Daryl’s face popped in your head again, and you slowly made your way towards Merle.

“Merle?” your voice cracked? “Merle Dixon?”

“Yes sweetheart?” he turned to look at you but didn’t seem to recognize your face. “What can I do for ya?”

You were floored he didn’t recognize you considering he’d lived on your couch for weeks when you first met Daryl. “Merle… it's Y/N… you don’t…?”

“Holy shit… I remember you now. You were the one my little brother was shackin’ up with way back when weren’t ya?”

“Um, yeah… I guess you could say that…”

“Any chance you’ve seen my baby brother around? Been lookin’ for him since we got separated near Atlanta,” his eyes narrowed on you making you incredibly uncomfortable.

“No, I was hoping – No. I haven’t seen him since before. He said the two of you were leaving town before shit got bad.”

“We did. Got separated when our group cuffed me to a roof and left me for dead,” Merle licked his lips and slowly looked you up and down. “But, uh, maybe you and me can go off together and try’in find ‘em?”

“Merle,” the Governor spoke up, “We have better things to be doin’ today. Don’t you remember about tonight?”

Merle’s attention was back to his boss and thankfully off you. Merle turned back to you, rubbing a hand over his stubbled chin.

“Listen, sweetheart, why don’t you go off and make sure you got yourself a cold drink. The festivities will be kicking off this evening and you don’t want to miss out on a front row seat!”

The Governor put an arm around Merle’s shoulder and led him away before he could say anything more.

You walked back to your small room and closed the door behind you. Once inside, you found yourself on the floor, head in hands and Daryl’s face in your mind’s eye. Finally picking yourself up, you went to your bed and laid down, sleep finding you in minutes.

Hours later, gunfire had erupted on the streets waking you in a panic. Looking down from your window, you saw a group of people laying down an assault on the main drag of your home. Running out into the thick of the fight, you looked around for a way to help but smoke was filling the streets making it hard to see who was firing at who.

Sprinting down Main Street, you turned left around a corner and for the second time, that day came to a dead stop. In front of you, three unfamiliar faces stood, guns pointed at your face. The taller, stubbled man with the piercing blue eyes was in front, behind him were two women. One with long dreads carrying Katana and another younger woman with short brown hair. All their weapons were on you.

“Stop!” The man said, his pistol aimed at your head. “We don’t want to kill you.”

“I’m not armed! I just… what’s happening?! Please, I am just trying to survive here…” you begged, panicked and afraid for your life.

Passing several glances between the three of them, the women lowered their weapons, but the man did not.

“Where’s the Governor?” he asked, his thick drawl oozing with hatred, gun still firmly planted at your forehead.

“I – I don’t know… he’s…,” you turned and pointed behind you. When you turned back around, you saw another man coming out of one of the storefronts. His back was to you, but you knew it was Daryl the second his frame came into view.

“Rick… we really gotta…” his eyes grew wide in shock as he saw your face. Daryl pushed through the women towards you and saw Rick’s gun in your face.

“What the fuck man, put that shit down,” he knocked Rick’s hand down and put his hands on your shoulders.

“Y/N? Holy shit,” Daryl grabbed you and held you tightly. Bullets started whizzing by your heads, breaking the slow motion feeling of the moment. “C’mon!” Daryl shouted and pulled you into the storefront he just exited, his friends following closely.

Once inside, everyone moved to the back of the store, except Daryl, who never let his grip on you go. Rick was flanking his side, not willing to move.

“Daryl?” you squeaked. You didn’t know if this was real or a dream. Your hand reached up to touch his face. The second you felt his skin under yours, you knew it was really him.

Nearly knocking him over, you leaped into his arms out of sheer relief that he was alive.

“You know her?” Rick asked Daryl, his brow furrowed in confusion. “How?”

Daryl pulled back from you and brushed your hair back from your face. “We used to be together… before.”

Surprised registered on all their faces, but the gunfire blazing outside grew closer and brought their attention back to the problem at hand.

“Daryl, we need to go,” one of the women said. “Glenn is waitin’ for us.”

“Y/N, I don’t even… I mean, this is nuts. But she’s right, we gotta go,” he grabbed your hand and you pulled away.

“No, I… I live here now. Daryl… Merle is here…”

Daryl froze, his eyes wide. “What?”

“Mmhmm, I’ve only been here a week, saw him the other day. He’s the Governor’s right-hand man… He’s one of the ones you’re shooting at!”

“Listen to me, this guy, this Governor kidnapped my friends, beat one of ‘em almost to death. You can’t stay here, come with me.”

“What about Merle? Don’t you wanna find him? I mean, he’s your brother… right?”

Despite the circumstances, you could feel your anger burning at past events. You still felt love for Daryl, but knowing he walked away from you before because of his brother didn’t make feeling all that love so easy.

“I wanna see Merle, I do. But finding you again,” he paused and looked at Rick who was beginning to seem impatient. “Just give me a minute man…”

Rick walked back towards the women mumbling under his breath and shaking his head. Daryl brought his attention back to you and could see the hurt on your face.

“I shouldn’ta walked away before. I shoulda made you come with me. But listen, please, don’t make the same mistake ok? Trust me… Do it. Take a chance, I’m begging you. You don’t want to spend the rest of your life wonderin’ what coulda been… like I’ve been doin’.”

You were taken aback by his words. But before you could answer, voices from outside were getting louder and Rick grabbed Daryl’s shoulder.

“We’re goin’, C'mon,” he dragged Daryl towards the back door and left you standing there.

Shaking free of him, Daryl took your hand in his. “Just come with me, darlin’, please… we can work shit out later,” his eyes pleading with you.

Taking a deep breath, you nodded hesitantly, but it was all Daryl needed to pull you to the back door and out towards freedom. Once outside, Daryl drug you along as you weaved through the buildings towards the back of the community. One by one the other women climbed the fence, just as Daryl was boosting you up, you heard his voice from behind.

“Hey!” Merle shouted, “What the hell?”

Turning around you saw Merle’s weapon slowly lowering as his brother’s presence became clear to him. “Daryl?” he asked, his voice low over the sound of distant gunfire.

Daryl turned and saw his brother. For a moment you were sure he would run and embrace Merle, leaving you again.

You watched as Daryl stalked towards him, his hands starting to ball into fists. The smile that had grown on Merle’s face disappeared quickly, as Daryl’s right hook connected with Merle’s jaw.

Falling to the ground, Merle took a moment, then quickly got back up on his feet. “Well, well now baby brother, how’s that for a greeting?”

“What the fuck’s your problem? You stupid piece of shit… What the hell you doin’ here with that lunatic? And her? Y/N’s here? You knew how long I was lookin’ for her after the outbreak…”

“Daryl, I just found her, I swear and now you! We can make it all work out brother…”

“No! I ain’t listenin’ to you no more. You were the one who convinced me to leave her behind in the first place…” Daryl’s voice trailed off as the gunfire died down. “Now… I’m goin’ home, with my family.”

Stalking away from Merle, Daryl grabbed your hand and helped you up to where Rick stood. As he lifted you up on the hood of the bus, Merle called Daryl’s name again.

“I’ll come back and deal with you later,” Daryl growled at him. “Right now, I am doin’ what I shoulda done back then.”

Leaving his brother behind, Daryl didn’t let go of you until you were back at their vehicle. No one said a word to you, nor you to them. Once at the car, the others left you and Daryl to have a moment alone.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” he said, his voice low and dripping in regret.

“I should’ve left with you that night,” you mumbled, unable to meet his gaze.

“I shoulda made you,” Daryl lifted your chin with his fingers and carefully leaned towards you. Barely brushing his lips against yours he whispered, “forgive me?”

“Yes,” the word fell from your lips just as he was finally pressing his to yours. Kissing Daryl again was everything you remembered. The time you were apart fell away and you found the sensation of love you still carried for him making its way through you and they were invoked, you never wanted them gone again.

Part 2 with new prompt...

Tags for fun: @srj1990 @soythedemonqueen @jodiereedus22 @kazosa @buckyscrystalqueen @reedusteinrambles @lefthologramdeer @aquivercactus @rhyatt-deauxtreve @his-paradox @adixon13 @kingdixonreedus @see-you-then-winchester @redm81

[queen-scribbles]

Catching Up

@pillarspromptsweekly​ fill #12: Modern AU. Tavi and Khel super ran away with this one on me, but what else is new? Blah title, but it’s the best I could do.

The shower felt good.

Tavi leaned her forehead against the tiled wall and let the hot water run over sore muscles, bruises, and a couple ribs that felt more tender than they probably should. Maneha had been a good match today. She worked her mouth and spat toward the drain. Almost no red. Good, her split lip had finally stepped bleeding.

With a sigh, Tavi pushed away from the wall and actually finished washing her hair. She’d been just standing here for fifteen minutes, and she needed to give the hot water time to recover before Aloth got home tonight. After two weeks away and fourteen hours on a plane, she figured the only thing he might want more than a shower would be sleep. She smirked to herself as the last of the shampoo ran off and circled the drain. Sleep would probably top the list; Aloth had never been comfortable so much as dozing on planes. In which case, she  could go a few more minutes, see if she could get the knot in her right shoulder to loosen just a little more...

Before she knew it, a few minutes had turned into eight, and the water was turning from hot to tepid. “Whoops,” she muttered out loud as she turned it off, adding a silent prayer it recovered quickly. The only thing worse than cranky Aloth was cranky jet-lagged Aloth, though both were rare, and he always apologized profusely soon as his mood improved. (and really, who the fuck wasn’t cranky when they were jet-lagged?) 

Hopefully he’d want to sleep first, shower later and Tavi’s entire inner monologue would be moot. For now, though, she was getting chilly as the steam from the shower dissipated, so she reached for her towel. She’d only made it halfway through drying off and getting dressed when she heard the apartment door open and close. Tavi was in the middle of a frowning glance at the clock--His flight doesn’t get in for at least two hours--when she heard a familiar voice.

“Tav? You home?”

She rolled her eyes. It would be Khellin. Her brother was one of two people besides her and Aloth with keys to both the apartment and the building. Keys that were supposed to be for emergencies, or if she needed him to feed Quaro, but Khellin routinely used them when he came over for visits.

“Out in a minute!” she hollered, quickly yanking on sweatpants and a tank top. “Khel, what have I told you about texting before you show up at my fuckin’ door?”

“I did!” he protested, voice getting louder as she exited the bedroom. “You didn’t answer.” Enlightenment flashed in his green eyes as she reached the living room. “Ah. And now I know why. Your post-gym showers always take at least fifteen minutes. Longer if Maneha was on her game. Which I’m guessing she was, from the look of that shiner.”

Tavi winced and gently felt around her left eyes. “Shit, does it look that bad?”

“Yep.” Khellin grinned as he flopped on the couch.

“Great.” It was her own fault for not dodging quickly enough, but she still felt momentarily grumpy toward Maneha for being such a damn good shot. “So what’re you doin’ here? Didn’t you just get back from.... was it Readceras this time?”

Khellin shook his head. “That was a couple months ago. This was Ixamitl.”

“Whatever. My point is, why’re you here instead of Maia’s?” Tavi practically demanded as she perched on the arm of the couch.

“She doesn’t own me,” he joked. “We’re dating, not married.”

“Khel.”

“You left me a voicemail.” Khellin slid his phone from his pocket and spun it absently on the coffee table. “Said to call you when I got back into town.”

“Yeah, call me, Khel,” Tavi emphasized, arms crossed for good measure. “Not show up at my place unannounced instead instead of seein’ your fuckin’ girlfriend first.”

Khellin stared at her. “You left a fucking voicemail, Tav.”

“And?” she shrugged, arms still crossed. 

“You never leave voicemails. Ever. If I don’t answer, you text me. I was worried somethin’ was wrong with you or Aloth...” His eyes narrowed and he glanced around the apartment. “Speaking of... Where’d he go this time?”

Tavi sighed. “Damn, you’re good. Aedyr. Someone bought what they claim is ‘the definitive Concelhaut manuscript’ at--get this--an estate sale.”

“And since he’s something of an expert on Concelhaut--and cheaper than these snotty academics with five degrees--he got begged to come authenticate it?” Khellin guessed, running his fingers through his hair. 

“More or less,” Tavi nodded. “Two degrees is much more affordable than five. He’s been there two weeks ‘cause they pulled the ‘Oh, while you’re here, can you look a these other books too...’ bullshit an’ he’s s’pposed to get home tonight...”

“Aw, does someone miss her boyfriend?” he said teasingly.

“Nope,” she deadpanned, biting back a smile.

“You’re full of shit, sis,” Khellin shot back, stuffing his phone back in his pocket. “Kana picked me up from the airport cuz Maia’s workin’ a double today--’nother reason I didn’t go see her first--an’ he said you were super mopey during your shift last night.”

“Please, he was in for one drink,” Tavi said, rolling her eyes. “Twenty minutes, tops. He just wanted to vent about the fuckin’ school plannin’ to cut the music and arts budget to practically nothin’, and I can’t blame him. He’s poured his heart and soul into that job and those kids for three years. I’d be pissed as hell. He just got a little melancholy an’ slightly more rambly than usual. I could barely get two words in edgewise, so how the fuck could he tell if I was mopey?”

Khellin shot her a ‘you’re kidding, right?’ look. “Tav. He’s your best friend. He can read you better than anyone other than me an’ Aloth. Bringing us back to my point that you miss your boyfriend.”

“No,” Tavi insisted, arms wrapping tighter in a self hug. “I don’t miss my boyfriend.” Gods, she hoped her eyes weren’t giving anything away.

If they were, Khellin missed it. “Tavi-”

“I miss my fiancé.” She held up her hand and wiggled her fingers, smirking triumphantly. Oh, was it ever worth how long she’d been sitting on that news to get to watch her brother’s jaw hit the floor.

“Holy shit...” Khellin blinked a few times and kept staring at her hand. “Holy fucking hell.” His gaze shifted to her face (which was plastered with the mother of all shit-eating grins) and he glowered half-heartedly. “You dick. You’ve been sitting on that for two weeks without telling me?!”

“Not my fault you were in the middle of nowhere for a month with shitty cell coverage. Also, I wanted to tell you in person so I could see your face, and Hylea’s tits was it worth it,” she said, all but gloating as she spun the ring around heer finger so he could see the scrollwork engraving. Between her job and her favorite hobbies, something with a stone would have been a bad idea, which Aloth had taken into account and compromised for accordingly.

“Dick,” Khellin repeated, tossing a throw pillow at her.

“Thanks, bro,” Tavi laughed, catching the pillow and hugging it to her stomach. 

“One thing I gotta know--and don’t let the fact I have money riding on this affect your answer--who asked who?”

Tavi winged the pillow back at him. “We’re gonna circle back around to the fact you all were bettin’ on me an’ Aloth’s love life, but, uh, he asked me.”

“Dammit!”

She grinned. “Sorry, Khel.”

“No you’re not,” he groused, slumping low enough to put his feet up on the coffee table.

“You’re right, I’m not, and get your damn feet off my coffee table. Gods, who raised you?”

“You did,” Khellin snarked, dropping his feet back to the floor.

“Oh, yeah, that’s right,” Tavi deadpanned. She slid from the arm of the couch down to sit next to him. “Seriously, though, Khellin, you’re okay with this?”

“Shit, yes,” he said emphatically. “I’m gonna tell you something I told Aloth, like, a year ago; your happiness is very important to me, Tavi. And even if I never in a million years woulda pegged a prissy academic as your type-”

“He’s not prissy!” Tavi protested, giggling but indignant as she whacked him with the throw pillow again.

“He’s a little prissy, Tav. But he’s also a cool guy, and he was smart enough to fall in love with you, and he makes you smile like the sun is bottled behind your eyes. So even if I’m now out a hundred bucks, I’m very, very happy for you.”

“Thanks.” Tavi grinned and pulled him into a hug. “Hundred bucks, huh?”

“Uh-huh. Fifty each to Maia and Sagani.”

“Ouch.” She chuckled as she sat back, propping her elbow against the back of the couch and resting her head against her hand. “Does it make things better or worse if I admit that if Aloth hadn’t proposed before he left on this trip, I was gonna ask him when he got back?”

“Worse,” Khellin groaned. “So, so much worse.”

“Then forget I said anything.” Tavi pushed to her feet. “You want a beer?”

“Galawain’s teeth, yes. And a real one, none of that lite crap you keep around for Kana.”

“Got it.” She started toward the kitchen. “And  then you can tell me about your trip.”

“Yeah, because tracking a lion pride’s dietary habits is any sort of match for you getting engaged after five years,” Khellin said wryly.

“Wild animals are always interesting,” Tavi retorted. She grabbed a beer and returned to the living room. “And I like hearing about how your internship’s going. Fills me with motherly pride.”

Khellin snorted as he took the beer. “Glad I made you proud, Mom. You’re not gonna have one?”

She shook her head. “Aloth’s flight gets in in a couple hours, and I have to drive to the airport to pick him up. No alcohol for me.”

“Oh, look who’s being a goody two-shoes for once,” Khellin teased.

“I work at a bar, Khel,” Tavi said dryly. “I’ve swiped the keys of way too many people who were drunker’n they thought they were. I’m not takin’ any chances myself. Now. Trip. Lions. Talk.”

“Alright, alright,” he laughed, and spent the next hour telling her all about it.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Notes this time, first and foremost that I know we know next to nothing about Maia, but seriously, if she’s the least bit open to dating dudes, I’m going for it with Khellin. So that’s me crossing my fingers and hoping. Also, I was only planning to have Tavi and Aloth be in an established relationship. The ‘btdubs we’re engaged :D’ was all her. Khellin teased her about missing her boyfriend and she went “HEY MOM, KNOW WHAT WOULD BE GREAT?” and I loved it so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[nekoabi]

ALL 65

*cracks thumbs* Let’s do this!

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you? Nah - I think… This question is hurting my brain…

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?Probably like a 1.25, so like a lil but not a lot.

3. The person you would never want to meet?The person who is to kill me, probs

4. What is your favorite word?Lousy is a nice word to say

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?Crab Apple Tree, because it is described as having an “irregular, rounded shape”

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?Ughhh… why am I awake so early…

7. What shirt are you wearing?My “All Hail the Glowcloud” shirt from the most recent WTNV tour

8. What do you label yourself as?Edgy

9. Bright room or dark room?Dark Room

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?Thinking about sending my mum a birthday message, and talking with @illisienthar

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?Actually, my current age, 21 - I’m actually kinda enjoying life a little more

12. Who told you they loved you last?@illisienthar, I think

13. Your worst enemy?This one guy who I cannot stand the voice of and just his general demeanour gets on my last freaking nerve… also he was a racist piece of shit one time and he makes me uncomfortable… 

14. What is your current desktop picture?This gorgeous piece of artwork by ryky

15. Do you like someone?I mean, yeah… I kinda always do…

16. The last song you listened to?But It’s Better If You Do - Panic! At The Disco

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?Um… can I do a cop-out and say the next person who is about to die so that way I’m not really fully responsible for their death as they were about to die that second anyway????

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?Nigel Farage… but then that would mean a) getting near him and b) touching his person. I’ll go with… @seventhdisaster instead ;)

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?@seventhdisaster and he would do anything i told him to!

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)My hair, 100%, no thought needed lmao

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?Short, ginger, long hair, slight chub - I’d probably freak out and be like “what why”

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?I mean, I can fit my fist in my mouth? Does that count? #mypartytrick

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?I guess I’m pretty unique in that I’m seemingly afraid of almost everything… Whoops?

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.White Bread, Ketchup, Sliced Turkey Meat, Ready Salted Crisps. Boom. Sounds gross to some, fucking delicious m8s.

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?Probably on stuff to make cosplay since I’m really in that mood rn.

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?Australia, so I can see my good friend @alreadyentendu

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?Ummm… well, I don’t drink to the point of barely knowing anything about alcohol. If I could make a deal to get a lifetime supply of Irn Bru, then that would be my choice.

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? #nodeathallowed

29. What is your favorite expletive?fuck - its so versatile 

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?Laptop. Easy question.

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?Oh boy, probably my horrendous experience singing at the local Waitrose back in year 11 where I fucking forgot all the words, forgot the entire song, had classmates all around me - both in the group that were singing and working at the store, and also my cousin around to hear it all… Ughhh, still can’t listen to What’s This? without dying inside…

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!Probs Norway, it’s really pretty and I really like it there (plz take me in @seventhdisaster @t2norway)

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?Am I heartless for wanting to pick my cat over my grandma? I would go with grandma tho, would make my dad very happy

34. What was your last dream about?Uhhh… the last one I can remember was a friend and myself being chased by police, me hiding in a house that i apparently lived in, being caught in there by my “mother” and being kicked out, sneaking back into the house, getting caught and being hidden by a “brother” and then being caught AGAIN by “mother”. Then the police come and search the room (for some reason) and they are expecting to find something incriminating about myself and find a drawer that is splattered with red paint or something and they think it’s blood and i try to prove my innocence and stuff, ends with me waking up in tears… I forgot some details, but you get the gist

35. Are you a good….showman?LMAOOOOO NOPE, at least I don’t think so… I can be alright once I get used to it, but most of the time I’m p. bad (excluding when i’m being a showman to hide how i really feel inside)

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?Not really “admitted”, but I did have to go in for a blood test once and that was horrendous

37. Have you ever built a snowman?Yeah, once… it wasn’t the prettiest, but it was fun!

38. What is the color of your socks?WHO NEEDS SOCKS?! but usually they’re multicoloured/patterned

39. What type of music do you like?I guess Alternative/Emo/Goth is the best label for it, anything that’s kinda heavy is good for me

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?Sunsets

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?I don’t like milkshakes… or milk in general… I know, I’m a freak

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)What’s a sport? 

43. Do you have any scars?I have a scar near the tip of my index finger where I cut myself with safety scissors during Sports Day once.

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?Working with live Sound for performances or Stage Management, or propping

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?Probably be thinner without having to work for it

46. Are you reliable?I’d like to think I am, I do what I say I am going to most of the time - and usually a lil early, if I can

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?Am I still with The Internet Support Group?

48. Do you hold grudges?I can do, but it’s all relative and I do try to give people second chances - but I am likely to not forget what they did…

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?A Fox Cat!

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?Possibly discussions about death that I have with a fair amount of people

51. Are you a good liar?Probably… I’ve not been caught yet

52. How long could you go without talking?I’ve been a full day or so without talking before, and I could probably do longer - I’m gonna put myself at like 3 days, maybe

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?My fringe with the middle parting… Ughhhh

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?Once or twice in Cooking class.

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?Haaaaaaaaa accents are not my thing at all!

56. What do you like on your toast?Nutella

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?A heart

58. What would be you dream car?One that works!!

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.I sing in the shower when I am alone in the house. As for unusual habits, I’ve been told it’s weird that I don’t face the shower.

60. Do you believe in aliens?Well, yeah… 

61. Do you often read your horoscope?When I see it, I’ll do it for a laugh

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?Ys are fun to write

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?Dragons! The crazy things that you can come up with for them, ahh! I love it!

64. What do you think about babies?Can be cute from a distance, not about to have any of my own!

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of. How u doin?I’m doing alright, had a decent day overall

[captnbarnesrogers]

I Don’t Need Your Assistance

Pairing/Characters: Celebrity!Bucky Barnes x Assistant!Reader Warnings: Smut, unprotected sex, oral sex (FR), swearing, angst if u squint Summary: Having an internationally known actor as your boss wasn’t really bad. Not until after a one night stand do you realise that you’re in love with him and there’s something else too, that something else leads you to quit your job. Word Count: 4.2k+ A/N: This is for Tay’s AU Writing Challenge @tatortot2701! I chose the prompt “Frankly, my dear, I do give a damn”! Bucky is pretty much just Sebastian in this AU! Enjoyyyy!

A new day. Another press conference. At his point, travelling with Bucky and going to all his interviews, meeting all his fans, it became your second nature and you kind of loved it. Your job was to keep Bucky on track and get the coffee going in his veins to start his day. As part of your job, you were always one step ahead of Bucky and that meant, being up earlier than him to wake him up and letting him know what interviews he had for the day. Working for Bucky for the last seven years drew you both to be close to one another, you both didn’t really consider it a boss/assistant relationship, even though it was, but more like a close-friends-who-work-together kind of thing.  Today was a day that Bucky would like to call his ‘free time’ but for you, it was more of a work load. You had papers to fill out and casting calls to answer for him. This was not a day you’d refer to as ‘free time’.

You made your way over his hotel room and unlocked the door with your spare key card. Sometimes you had to be cautious but you didn’t see him go home with anyone the night before so you assumed he’d be alone. You walked through the kitchen and into his room.

“Bucky, you gotta get dressed, babe,” You opened the curtains to lighten up his hotel room, he groaned and dug his head into his pillow, you then walked over, tore off his covers, and then playfully smacked his butt, “You’ve got a press conference at 8 this morning and then you’ve got all the time in the world to sleep! Get upppp!”

“I’m up, I’m up!” He looks up at you, his eyes squinted from the light through the window, “It’s too early.”

“It’s always too early with you, Barnes,” you chuckled. You grabbed the cup of coffee on the work bench and placed it on his bed side table, “that is why I always get you coffee.”

“Do I ever tell you that you’re the best?” He says, taking a sip,

“No, but you do pay me for it.”

“You’re right.”

“Always am, your clothes are hung in the closet. Get dressed, Bucky, I don’t want you being late.”

“Yes, mom.”

“Shut up.” You laughed, walking out of his hotel room.

You checked your watch, groaning at how long he was taking. You tapped your heel on the ground and almost entered his room when he suddenly came out, his black shirt tight on his pecs and his skinny jeans promising their purpose. He smirked and you rolled his eyes.

“You’re going to be late, let’s go, you!” You scowled, pushing him through the hallway,

“You look great in that skirt.”

“Bucky, I wear this skirt in different colours every day.”

“And you look great every day.”

“All that flattering won’t make you any less late, hurry up!” He turned back around to walk through the doors of the elevator as you laughed. The elevator took you both to the ground floor, the car waiting on him. You both walked over to the black doors of the Range Rover. He opened the door for you and let you into the car before himself. You thanked him quietly as he got into the car.

The drive was quiet, just your voice reminding Bucky what questions he should expect to be coming his way. He reminded you that he’d been in the business long enough to know what questions he’d be getting and which you return him a fake laugh. When you both arrived at the venue, the loud screams of his fans drowned out the music coming from the speakers of the venue. He gave you a look and nodded, opening the door. The screams were deafening but he was used to it and so were you. He walked over to the barricades and signed some books and posters and took some photos with them, greeting his fans with a smile and taking an interest in their day. They thanked him over and over before he walked into the lobby, waving goodbye to his fans.

“They’re getting louder, Buck.” He gave you a million-dollar smile, a smile that could light up even the darkest of places,

“They’re so fucking awesome, Y/N! Holy shit!”

“I guess we can assume that this new movie’ll do even better than the last time.”

“And they’ll keep getting better, doll, because of them.” He engulfed you into an embrace and squealed like a teenage girl,

“Bucky, we need to get you side stage!” You proceeded to lead him over to the stairs leading to the panel. You smoothed out his t-shirt and fixed up his hair, tippy-toing to reach his long, dark locks, “Alright, you’re ready, remember you do-“

“Don’t have to answer every question, I got it, doll,” he climbed one step before turning around and continuing, “you know, if you wanted to touch me, you could’ve just-“

“James, if you don’t get your ass up there in the next thirty seconds, so help me God.”

“Yes, ma’am!” And with the calling his name from the stage, he walked on and sat in his place on the panel. It was the same old questions, same old Bucky being happy and laughing at the questions he’d been asked until a reporter asked about his relationship with his best friend’s girlfriend,

“Bucky, you and Margaret Carter, Peggy as she’s more known if I’m correct, are looking extremely cosy in a recent photo, is there anything going on there? Are you hitting on your best friend’s girl? What does Steve Rogers think about this?” He bit his lip in annoyance and you rolled your eyes in irritation. He looked over to you at side stage, you mouthed him a ‘you don’t have to answer that’ but being Bucky, of course he’d answer it,

“You know, um, something I learned from my parents is the concept of respect, something you obviously have no idea about, but I respect my best friend, I love him like a brother and there is no way in hell would I ever do that to him,” he gave out a rough chuckle, obviously annoyed, “and another thing is support, I’m supporting my best friend and his relationship, it just so happens that Peggy is a very nice and respectable woman, I get along with her like a sister, so don’t overlook things, besides,” he smiles, “I’ve got my eye on someone else.” And suddenly there was chaos, the press was ravaging for answers as Bucky walked off stage.

“James. What. Have. You. Done.”

“He was being a dick!”

“Bucky, now every single girl you go out with is gonna be overlooked and that includes me!”

“So? They can overlook it all they want.” You groaned, you face scrunching up from stress, “Oh c’mon Y/N, don’t give me that face, do you want wrinkles?”

“This is not a joking matter, James, you’ve just opened up a can of worms!” You walked down, groaning again, “okay, okay,” You huffed, “You go out and do whatever, I’ll give out a statement and close this fucking mess.” You walked away from him as he called out to you,

“Y/N! C’mon, doll!”

“Bucky, seriously, I have things I need to get done because of that stupid stunt you just pulled.”

“Y/N, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to but you don’t have to put out a statement, I do have someone.”

“Oh great, Buck, I don’t have to put out a statement, thanks, babe!” You said sarcastically, rolling your eyes, “If you do have someone, you have to tell me who it is! We need to have a meeting with her and we need to brief her on your career!”

“I’m pretty sure she already knows.”

“Oh sure, so we’re just going to assume she knows?”

“I wouldn’t be assuming because I know she knows.”

“Bucky!”

“Y/N, seriously, don’t worry about her, she wouldn’t say anything, I mean you haven’t even seen her with me, that’s how awesome she is.”

“You’re being secretive about this, I’m concerned.”

“Don’t you worry one single bit, doll,” He smiled and gave you a hug, “I’ll see you tonight, okay?”

“Okay.” You whispered. He then went out of the venue, waving goodbye to you and running into the Range Rover. You let out a huff and took off your glasses, pressing your thumb and pointer finger on your sinus, “Oh Bucky Barnes, what am I to do with you?”

You arrived back at the hotel and spent your day in your room, answering phone calls for auditions and call backs, signing some forms, and renewing his resume. It was a productive day and you began to pack up his files. You checked your watch, 12:03 AM, Jesus Christ, had you really been working for that long? Suddenly your phone began to ring. You picked it up, a photo of you and Bucky popping up on the screen, along with his name. You slid the telephone across the screen to answer his call.

“Yes, Bucky?”

“Awwww it’s-it’s my favourite girl,” He slurred, “how ya doin’? You okay?”

“I’m fine, James, you seem to be having a good time?”

“O-oh yeahhh, a-amazing! Listen- listen, doll, I think, I think it’s time for you to meet the love of my life.” He burped,

“Oh yeah?”

“Mhmmmm.”

“Where are you, Buck? I’ll meet you both there.”

“Oh y/nnnnn, you’re going to love her!” He drunkenly giggled,

“I’m sure I will, where are you?”

“I’m at zack-seven!”

“You mean Seven Jacks?” You laughed,

“Yeah, that one.”

“Alright, I’ll see you there.” Hanging up the phone, you put your black jumper over your white singlet, the length of the jumper just touching the thighs of your denim. You grabbed the keys of the Range Rover from the receptionist and thanked her quietly with a smile. You took the stairs to the underground car parking of the hotel and clicked the unlock button of the car, making the front lights of the Range Rover flash in attention. You got in and started the car, driving up from the car park. When you arrived, the streets were lit up by the lights of the club. You spotted Bucky next to the bouncer, a drunken smile swiped across his face. You parked the car and started walking towards him.

“Y/NNNNN!” He got up from where he rested and slung himself to you,

“Oh Christ! You’re so fucking heavy!”

“You- You’re so beautiful.”

“So, where’s the girl, Buck?”

“She’s here, plainly hereee.” He laughed. You opened the car door and strapped the seat belt on his body,

“Dude, you’re fucking plastered.” You laughed, closing the passenger side door,

“I love tequila.” You got into the car and made sure his seatbelt was on,

“You’re not gonna love it tomorrow, Bucky. I’ll leave some asprin on your bedside table.”

“Y/N?”

“Yes, Bucky?”

“Do you- Are you seeing anyone?”

“No, Bucky, I’m all about the job, you know that.”

“So, you’re single?” You nodded as he stared at you longingly, “Why are you suddenly asking all these questions?” He went silent and turned his head to the window, “Is Sam asking me out again?”

“Sam? Like Wilson?” You hummed in response, “That guy is a dick.”

“He’s sweet.”

“You’re wrong.”

“I’m never wrong, Bucky, haven’t you learned?” You giggled. You found him staring at you, “What? Why are you staring at me like that?”

“Do you like Sam?”

“I mean, he’s cute and all-“

“But do you like him? Like, like-like?”

“What are we? In fourth grade?” He looked at you with dispirited eyes, “Bucky, what’s going on? Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, fine.” You pulled up into the car park and took the key out of the engine. He tried to open his side of the door and almost slipped out. You rushed to his side of the car and slung his arm around your neck before closing the door and helping him walk to the elevator. The ride up to the fifteenth floor was quiet and there was a feeling in the pit of your stomach that something was not good.

You swiped his room card and lead him to his bed. You laid him down and started to take off his clothes from the night.

“Y/N?”

“Yes?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Bucky.” You laughed. He sat up from the bed as you untied his shoes. You felt his warm hand caress your cheek, you looked up in surprise from the contact. Your eyes locking with each other. Slowly, he leaned down and captured your lips against his. You started moving against his lips but pulled away, “I-I can’t do this, you’re drunk!”

“It doesn’t change the fact that I love you.”

“You’re not in the right state of mind, I have to go.”

“Y/N!” You walked out of the door, your hand covering your lips. You panted, your mind frazzled.

To say you got sleep last night would be a sinful lie. You couldn’t sleep a blink. The way his lips felt on yours kept your mind going all night. You had no idea what to do. Every time it ran through your mind, your heart would beat faster than it did last time, your lips would dry up, and your head would start pounding. You swung yourself out of bed and pushed your hair back in frustration, groaning, you got up and began to ready yourself. You went over to his room and gently woke him up.

“C’mon, Bucky, time to get up, you’ve got two interviews this morning.” You said, rubbing his back beside his bed, “Bucky.” He groaned and rolled over to face you,

“Good morning, Y/N.”

“Good morning to you too.” You smiled softly,

“You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I just didn’t get any sleep.”

“Did you want the day off?”

“No, I’m fine, I’ll get through it, don’t worry about me.”

“Are you sure?” You nodded. There was a moment of silence. He eyed your hand, smaller than his. He slid his hand to find yours but you suddenly got up,

“Get dressed, we still have time to get coffee.” He nodded and you walked out of his room. You were avoiding the situation. You didn’t want to face him, you didn’t want to talk about it. This was your job and you could lose your job. You closed your hand on your face, breathing heavily, your eyes welling up. You couldn’t lose your job because you were in love with your boss. No way.

You got into the car and texted him to come down. He followed, a little too quickly, you thought. He gave you a soft smile and stared at you longingly. The silence of the car ride eating you from the inside out.

“So, did you drink the asprin I left on your table?” You asked, your eyes focus on the files in your hand,

“Um, yeah, I did, Y/N?”

“Yes, Bucky?”

“Y/N, can you please look at me?”

“Bucky, can it wait?”

“No.”

“Bucky, I need to check these out, trust me, it can wait.”

“Y/N.”

“Bucky, seriously.”

“Y/N, I’m being serious too.” He grabbed the files from your hands and sat on it. You growled at him,

“What is so goddamn important, Bucky? I need to do this job, this is what I’m here to do, this is why I’m with you, to do my job!”

“So that’s all this is? A job?”

“What else could it be?” He sat there in silence, his mouth opening to say something but he couldn’t let it out. He grabbed the file from under him and swallowed the lump from his throat,

“Sorry.”

“You got a call back for Dayton White in Logan Lucky, call back is on Friday.” You huffed out. Holding back the tears from the lie you just told. You knew this wasn’t just a job anymore. There was something else and if someone offered you $100 to pinpoint what it was, you’d get that $100.

A busy day ended in silence. Silence in your hotel room. Your head in your hands, trying to figure out what to do. Everyone knew who you were, you were always with him for godssake. You hopped into the shower, the steam taking over the bathroom. You walked back into the water, the heat flowing all over your body. You pushed your hair back, drenched from the water, and let your thoughts run just like the water making its way down the drain.

Turning off the water and wrapping a towel yourself, your heard a knocking on your door. Your phone was buzzing from text messages. You looked through the peephole on the door, Bucky’s face coming into view. You opened the door, he rushed in.

“Are you okay?” You asked curiously,

“Y/N, are we seriously not gonna talk about what happened last night?”

“We don’t have to, you were drunk, I get it.”

“I wasn’t drunk.”

“You could barely walk, you were fucking plastered.” You walked over to you room, still wrapped in your towel,

“Can we at least talk about what I said?”

“Bucky, there’s seriously no need.”

“Why are you so against talking about it!?”

“You were drunk, we kissed, that’s it, that’s all that happened! There’s no need to talk about it!”

“I told you I loved you.” He whispered and paused for a moment, “Can you honestly tell me you feel nothing?”

“I- We- Bucky…” You stammered, not noticing the closeness between the both of you. He put his right hand on your waist and his left upon your cheek, caressing it like he did the night before,

“Drunk words are sober thoughts, I thought you’d figure it out,” He leans in, his lips almost touching yours, “I love you.” His lips finally crash on yours, soft and careful, “Tell me you don’t want this and I’ll stop.” You grabbed his face and crashed it against yours once again.

He lifted you up on your bed and hovered over you, refusing to disconnect your lips. He looked at you with questioning eyes, almost as if to ask you if it was okay to unwrap you from your body. You nodded and gave him a soft smile. He unwrapped the towel from you gently, like you were so fragile.

“Jesus, you’re so beautiful.” He ran his hands over your body, tracing every goosebump that appeared upon your skin. He placed a kiss on your collar bone and dragged his mouth down to your breasts. He captured the hard nipple into his mouth, you moaned and pulled at his hair. He returned a moan as your hands gripped his hair harder and tighter.

“Bucky, please, I-“

“I know, doll.” His hands then gripped your hips and kneeled down to your naked heat. He dragged his finger in between your folds, causing you to moan and move your hips to create more friction from his hand, “You’re so fucking wet.” He placed his tongue flat on your clit and lick up, going faster with each moan that came out of you. His fingers were thrusting inside of your wet pussy, your moans growing louder.

“Fuck, Bucky!” You chanted, back arching, hands tangled in his hair, “I’m gonna cum! Bucky!”

“Cum, Y/N.”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” You panted as you came and he hovered over you once again, planting a kiss on your hungry lips, “Bucky, I need you, please…”

 “Patience, sweetheart.” He took a hold of his hard cock and gave it a light stroke before pushing himself into you, you moaned and gripped his hard bicep before lightly locking your arms around his neck as he thrusted into you, “You’re so tight.”

“Faster, p-please.” You panted, wrapping your legs around his waist. His thrusts got faster and deeper, your moans got louder. He grunted as your pussy clenched from pleasure, you bit his collarbone causing him to moan, “I-I’m gonna cum.”

“Just hold on a little bit m-more- FUCK- I’m almost there!”

“B-Bucky!”

“Are y-you there?” You nodded frantically, “Cum, baby.” With that command, your back arched and screamed out in pleasure, your fingernails scratching down his back, “Fuck, Y/N!” His thrusts slowed down and he nuzzled his face into your neck, panting, “I love you, Y/N.” He whispers, rolling over and planting a kiss on your cheek. You rolled to face him and smiled as his fingertips traced up and down your spine, your eyes slowly shutting close.

After months passed, your relationship with Bucky just got stronger and, if possible, you were closer than ever. Although, you had to keep most of your relationship as secret, you were happy that you were able to see him every day… and help him with his job every day. Only a few people knew about your relationship, Steve and Peggy, and both of your parents. Today was a free day for Bucky, meaning paper work for you at your apartment. You answered calls for new auditions and organised interviews for the week after today. You stood up to refill your cup with coffee and suddenly felt light headed. You shrugged it off because you did stand up all too quickly. As you poured the coffee into your cup, you felt yourself gag. You covered your mouth and dropped your cup, running over to the sink and emptying out your guts. You hadn’t really eaten anything bad so you don’t know why you’d bed vomiting until it hit you. You’d missed your period.

“Shit…” You whispered, eyes wide. You ran over and grabbed your phone, dialling the only person you could think of, “Peggy? I need your help.”

Peggy arrived just ten minutes after your call. You thanked her and gave her a hug.

“Are you completely sure that you are?” She asked, her British accent thickly wrapped around her voice. You nodded as you paced back and forth,

“I mean, what else could it be right? We had sex and here I am…”

“Oh Y/N…”

“Peg, he’s gonna freak, I have to quit, I can’t ruin his career.” You sat on the bed and hung your head low. God, everyone who was a fan of Bucky would find out and they’d all think you were a user and a gold digger and everything in between, you could not do this to him,

“Babe, you don’t quit, maybe lay low for a while.”

“The two minutes is up.” Peggy bit her thumb and walked over to the bathroom with you. You picked up the small stick and sighed,

“What is it? What does it say?”

“Peg, I’m- I’m pregnant.” You whispered.

You were freaking out as Peggy tried to calm you down, when you suddenly heard the door close in your apartment.

“Y/N? Baby, I bought dinner.” He turned into the bedroom and saw you talking to Peggy, “Oh, hey Carter, I didn’t know you’d be here.” He leaned over and greeted her with a kiss on the cheek,

“I’m gonna go, okay?” She says rubbing your back, “Just call me if anything happens.”

“Okay.”

“Bye Bucky.” He nodded and looked at you with concern. You walked out of the bedroom, biting your thumb, trying to figure out what to say,

“Y/N? Is everything okay?” He asks, setting down the paper bag of food on the kitchen bench. You let out a huff,

“Bucky, I want to resign.”

“Ha-ha so funny.” You stood there in silence, “Y/N, you’re not being serious…”

“I need to resign, I’m just-“

“Why? What did I do?” He walks over to you and engulfed you in an embrace,

“No, Bucky, I can’t do this, please.”

“Yes, you can, Y/N, don’t leave me, I’m sorry, whatever I did I’m sorry, please tell me what I did.”

“No, you wouldn’t care, it’s not important.” Tears had started flowing from your eyes,

“I wouldn’t care? You’re important to me!”

“Please, I can’t-“ He stood there and looked at you with blank eyes until a tear slipped away from his blue eyes,

“Frankly, my dear, I do give a damn, so don’t tell me what I don’t care about, just, please talk to me.”

“I-I’m- I’m pregnant.”

“Oh Christ, I thought you were breaking up with me.”

“I didn’t know I was your girlfriend?” He moved closer to you and took your face in his hands,

“Well, do you want to be?”

“Obviously.” He kneeled down and placed his head on your tummy,

“And as for this little guy, as if you’d think I wouldn’t want kids with you.”

“I was just scared, I guess.” He stood back up and kissed you,

“You are gonna be the most amazing mom any kid could ask for and I feel so lucky that I got to be a part of it, I love you, Y/N and I could never think of a life that’s not without you.” You gave him a smile and leaned in once again,

“I love you too, Bucky.”

“So, does this mean no more rough sex?”

“You wanna try it out?” You laughed, leading him into the bedroom.

MASTERLIST

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[r-o-se]

A bit less than 101 comment summary abt produce 101 season 2 ep 6  [watch it here]

Noone even reads those anymore but I like doing them so you know what fuck it lol 

1.      Omg this subber adds full names and ent companies I’m in love theyre just showing the rankings rn

2.      The benefit is now 10k for the team that gets 1st place by individual points but the 1st place trainees for each category is 100 fucking 000

3.      The position songs are

a.      RAP- Zico – Boys and Girls // iKON – Rhythm Ta // SMTM – I’m not the person you used to know // Mino – Fear

b.      VOCAL – BoA – Amazing Kiss // SJung Seunghwan – If it was you // Blackpink – Playing with Fire // BTS – Spring day // I.O.I – Downpour

c.      DANCE – Ed Sheeran – Shape of You // Flo Rida – Right Round // Jason Derulo – Get Ugly // NSync – POP

4.      Good luck kiddos the choosing is hidden so they won’t see who chose what before they’ve chosen themselves

5.      Seungwoo just dragged my baby Hyunbin through mud and said he doesn’t wanna be in a dance team with him again lol I understand him fully though aahahahahha

6.      Samuel just said he’s a bit afraid of Jihoon so he wants to avoid him but they’re in the same team again aaaaaaahahahhahaha  THIS IS SO CUTEE

7.      Hyungseob didn’t want eigher but GET FUCKED AAHAHAH ALL HIGH RANKED DANCERS ARE IN GET UGLY SEUNGWOO AND DANIEL AND HYUNGSEOB AND JIHOON AND SAMUEL

8.      PLAYING WITH FIRE TEAM AKA REN DAEHWI SEWOON ANDDDDDDDD BAEKHO

9.      FUCKING GOD DAEHWIS FACE WHEN BAEKHO WENT INTO THE PLAYING WITH FIRE TEAM AHAHA LIL KID SO SCARED

10.   Hyunbin is up and BoA is like…. Bro u alright?? U sure about this?

11.   BOI IS GONNA SING AAHAHAH FUCK DUMBO ITS IOI DOWNPOUR

12.   Big Woojin was the last to choose Get Ugly and closes it goddamn

13.   Gunhees mouth opens so wide holy shit

14.   ALL VOCAL POSITIONS GOT TAKEN BEFORE WOODAM COULD CHOOSE IM SO FUCKING DEPRESSED THIS IS SO SAD IM SO SORRY BABY BABY HES CRYING THIS IS SO DEPRESSING

15.   Fuck this show I’m so so sad how could they do this to Woodam

16.   Everyone are looking forward to Playing with Fire Team bc they all know how arranging music works

17.   Baekho: Disagrees w Sewoon

Mnet: *tense aggressive music* *montage of angry eyed Baekho* *red filter*

18.   This team has troubles with agreeing on the style of the stage

19.   IM A BOY YOU ARE A GIRL IM A BOY BUT YOU ARE A GIRL

20.   This stage has Alpaca Youngmin, BNM Donghyun and Dongbin the crybaby

21.   But it looks like theyre having disagreements too RIP

22.   Dongbin doesn’t even know how to rap baby why did you go there someone save Youngmin

23.   JINWOOS TEAM YE BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

24.   Mnet is tryna pit Jinwoo and Seongri againste eachother aahahah fuck off anyways Seongri is the center

25.   Kim Yehyeon just gave everyone a full course in music theory and composition WELL FUCKING DONE DUDE YOU GOT MY RESPECT

26.   Save Yongguk who others haven’t even noticed before I NOTICED U I STILL LOVE U IM A PESSIMIST TOO WE CAN BE NEGATIVE TOGETHER

27.    This team works so well and sweet together I love it

28.   Shape of you team now with Noh Taehyun and oldie tiptoes Seongwoo and Namhyung and Justin and others

29.   Taehyun doesn’t wanna teach anyone because he hates teaching but good fucking luck with thet aahahah

30.   They’re doing expressions to figure out the leader its so EMBARRASSING AAHAH AWWW

31.   JUSTIN YOURE 15 FUCCKING STOP WHAT THE HELLL IS THAT FACE

32.   TAEHYUN IS CENTER AND LEADER U DESERVE IT BOYO HE STARTS CHOREOGRAPHING RIGHT AWAY AND HES SO FASTTT DANCE GOD

33.   JR TEAM

34.   Baby was right away like ‘I don’t think I can be center so forget me’ but Guanlin and Moonbok want the position so that’s a thing

35.   Jr thinks Guanlin fits the center and eventho Moonbok wanted the position too he didn’t say anything because he wants to ggive others a chance ngl I really have started to like Moonbok hes friendly and not as annoying as I thought before

36.   ITS JINWOOS TEAMMMMM MY BOY LOOKIN FINE AS HELLLL DOIN DUMB POSES

37.   Everyone are shook while practicing cause their harmonies are so gooddd

38.   Kim Yongguk is a baby with low self esteem but he improved a loootttt I’m PROUD HE GOT PRAISED BY SEOKHOON

39.   During the actual concert BoA is in Japan doing a concert so she’s gonna oversee everyone rn which is really nice of her

40.   EVEN BOA PRAISED YONGGUK IM SO PROUD

41.   Ok but they aren’t giving the others screentime at all which is a bit sad IDK I WANNA SEE OTHERS TOO

42.   THE OTHER TEAM BOYS ARE CHEERING FOR EACHOTHER THIS IS SO CUTEEEE

43.   Jinwoo just sitting there being pretty is enough to make my day ngl AND HIS VOICEEEE

44.   ‘your body will react now’ my what anyways its right round time

45.   Cheetah is so adorable this season anyways this stage is LIT AND DAEHWI IMMITATING THEM IS CUTE AS FUCK AND THEYRE SYNCED AS HELLLLL

46.   They keep filming one girl in the audience I stg she gets more screentime than most trainees

47.   If Hwiseung and Byunmin get eliminated I’m gonna be Real Fuckin Sad

48.   Eunki is the leader and wants to be the new Bang Bang team

49.   Besides him, the team has Haknyeon plus Hwiseung and Hwanoong and K-Tiger Hyunmin and some others as well, Hwanoong is the center which makes Haknyeon salty ripppp

50.   Eunki has a death wish I stg he picks on Haknyeon and obvi Mnet grasped onto it and bam evil edit eventho Eunki has a reason to pick, Haknyeon is kind of behind on the choreo eventho he has a point since he doesn’t have a big part

51.   Eunki and Haknyeon talked it out I’m glad and everything goes really well and smoothly on the practice stage IM SO HAPPY

52.   THE PERFORMANCE HAS SUCH GOOD ENERGYYYY also they did scorption dance but didn’t fully show it?? Mnet the fuck

53.   HYUNMIN IS SO LIT I LOVE HIM AND HAKNYEON GOT TO DO KISSY FACES AT THE CAMERAAAAA

54.   Boys and girls Donnghyunnnnnnn is a CUTIE CUTIE but bnm kids are worried about the high standards everyone have for them goddamnit Dongbin poor baby

55.   BIG WOOJIN WENT AND HELPED THEIR TEAM WITH DONGBIN TOO BABYYYYYY I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

56.   DAEHWI IS SO CUTE JAMMING ALONGGGG THEIR STAGE IS SO GOOD I LOVE ITTTTT

57.   Kinda sad that they don’t have the iconic IM A BOY YOU ARE A GIRL IM A BOY BUT YOU ARE A GIRL chorus but it’s the stage itself is good and DONGBIN IS STILL ALIVE AND SMILING AND DONGHYUN IS SO GORGEOUSSSSS FUCKKKKKK AND YOUNGMIN IS FUCKING OWNING IT I LOVE HIM

58.   A trend that needs to stop: Leaders blaming themselves for everything and apologizing for first place

59.   SHAPE OF YOU TEAM YOOO BOYYYYYYYYYY IM LOOKING FOWARD TO THIS HARD eventho I already saw the vid of how they got evil edited and screentime cut and whatnot

60.   Oh nooooooo it’s a dance battle obvi Taehyun is out there fuckin KILLIN it best dancer in broduce I stg I LOVE HIMMMM everyone are thinking he will win first dance position

61.   EUNKI AND PARK WOOJIN AND ONG KILLED IT TOOOO HOLY FUCKING SHIT

62.   Their team has a loooot of small mistakes which makes me sad and yeah exactly as the vid said, they didn’t give them screentime and fucking cut out the killing part I’m so angry

63.   THE CHOREO IS SO GOOD I LOVE NOH TAEHYUN SO MUCH THEY FILMED THE SYNCCED LINEUP STUFF FROM THE SIDE WHY ON EARTH WHY DOES MNET HATE THEIR GROUP

64.   The crowd is shouting encore…. Is this why Mnet evil edited them…. Jesus fucking Christ I’m so angry

65.   THE KIDS ARE SO HYPE ABOUT BEING CALLED FOR ENCORE THIS IS SO CUTEEEE TAEHYUN GOT FIRST HES SO SO WORTHY I LOVE HIM SO MUCH HE REALLY DESERVES IT

66.   The others are still so happy for Taehyun this team has such good teamwork I’m cryin Mnet fuckin rudeeeee

67.   MINO FEAR UP W MY BOYSSSSS JR MOONBOK GUANLIN KIM TAEMIN

68.    Save Guanlin who can’t perform well in front of teachers I UNDERSTAND U BOO I GET IT AND HE GOT EVEN PRAISED BABYYY

69.   Their entire team got pencils in their mouths CUTIESSS

70.   Can’t believe Guanlin has two NU’EST guardians now god bless JR and Baekho BOA PRAISED HIS PRONOUNCIATION IM SO HAPPY I LOVE JR GOD BLESS NATIONS LEADER

71.   Taemin has been a trainee for 5 years????? Holy shit SAVE THIS BOY I’M SAD

72.   Moonbok made his rap for Hyunwoo bc he’s sad IM SAD TOO AAA

73.   ALL OF THEIR RAPS ARE SO EMOTIONAL WHAT THE FUCK THIS IS SO GOOD IM SAD

74.   NUEST  ARE ALL LOOKIN SAD KAHI IS BORDERLINE CRYING BAEKHOS LIPS TREMBLING IM EMOOOOO AS FUUUCKKKKK

75.   FUCKING DOGBIN BEING HOPELESS ABOUT NOT DEBUTING HYUNWOO IS IN THE CROWD CRYING AND MOONBOK IS BEING SAD THIS IS SO GOOD I LOVE THIS STAGE AAAAAAAAA

76.   ITS JINWOOS TEAMMMMM MY BOY LOOKIN FINE AS HELLLL DOIN DUMB POSES

77.   Everyone are shook while practicing cause their harmonies are so gooddd

78.   Kim Yongguk is a baby with low self esteem but he improved a loootttt I’m PROUD HE GOT PRAISED BY SEOKHOON

79.   During the actual concert BoA is in Japan doing a concert so she’s gonna oversee everyone rn which is really nice of her

80.   EVEN BOA PRAISED YONGGUK IM SO PROUD

81.   Ok but they aren’t giving the others screentime at all which is a bit sad IDK I WANNA SEE OTHERS TOO

82.   THE OTHER TEAM BOYS ARE CHEERING FOR EACHOTHER THIS IS SO CUTEEEE

83.   Jinwoo just sitting there being pretty is enough to make my day ngl AND HIS VOICEEEE

84.   ‘your body will react now’ my what anyways its right round time

85.   Its basically the exact same footage as before Haknyeon vs Eunki

86.   Cheetah is so adorable this season anyways this stage is LIT AND DAEHWI IMMITATING THEM IS CUTE AS FUCK AND THEYRE SYNCED AS HELLLLL

87.   They keep filming one girl in the audience I stg she gets more screentime than most trainees

88.   If Hwiseung and Byunmin get eliminated I’m gonna be Real Fuckin Sad

89.   ITS BLACKPINK STAGE TIME YE BOIIIIIIIIIIII It’s Baekho, Ren, Daehwi and Sewoon

90.   They got some problems with Sewoon playing guitar but it all GOOD they got em solved

91.   Ren got shades on lookin like the love child of Zion.T and Lady gaga

92.   Daehwi just blowed some red god damn CONFETTI it looks GOOD AS HELL YOOO THAT BOY LOOKS FUCKING FINE HERE

93.   Ren was last, Sewoon third, Baekho second and Daehwi first

94.   Cant believe Sewoon and Daehwi got over their Baekhophobia tru character development

95.   GET UGLY STAGE HOLY SHITTTT ALL THE POPULAR KIDS THERE

96.   Danik my dude doin all sorts of handstand bboy things bruh I bet his arms look hella nice

97.   THEY JUST CUT IT!! JUST LIKE THAT! NO FUCK

[chikotos]

speaking of That my mom is finally recognizing that when I say “i dont feel good” it doesnt mean i have a cold or sth its that Uh, im probably experiencing suicidal thoughts and cant express it well (or at least smth along those lines) and my house has been dirty cuz i havent cleaned in a while or i cant keep it clean and she n my sister cleaned an area and i repeatedly told her not to bc shes always using my sister to do things im not adequate enough to do on time and its rlly not fair to her even if she doesnt realize it cuz like shes only 12 & we dont ever even talk so she shouldnt have to take care of someone 5 years older than her.. and i was gonna clean but I basically slept all day so i could just clean alone at night when I feel safe to walk around the house . i wasnt even tired idk why i slept but now im eerily awake and maybe will be umless i force myself to sleep

its so lonely here and thats only hit me like this year cuz all the time before I would go through periods of hanging out after school maybe.. twice a year? and only hanging out with one person whod have many friends but theyd b my only friend which is a problem i tend to have. but it jst got to the point where im realizing, i think cuz i was in my schools drama program n exposed to lots of friendships, that im jst like ,really fucking lonely. Which is unfortunate because ive always been such an internal person at home and have been able to work creatively but thats all like leaving me? art doesnt make me happy anymore because i dislike my art so much and havent had a platform to share it in so long and i guess I thrive on other ppls opinions of it? and I definitely cant write anymore. I havent been able to zone in on an interest in MONTHS and thats left me creatively drained, a lot. 

I think im starting to rlly, RLLY redirect my complete attention from interests to ppl (which always ends well am i right lads) and it isnt fair to ppl who like, have others and need space and time etc or Uh, dont even know me. but its like a switch like , I can either be creative or i can feel loved and Boy Howdy, do i need both,

its just weird cuz im the only one in my family thats emoitonal like this and I think thats why i feel so isolated. like im not exxagerating when I say my dad has 0 friends tht arent family. my mom has work friends she will hang out with maybe 4 times a year not for work, but shes always complaining abt social situations which I can understand. maybe my siblings r like that too but my sisters young n focuses on minecraft n stuff n hangs out w friends more than me n we barely know each other so its not like id know, maybe my half brother is but whens the last time hes wanted to talk to me right. like i cry all the time and all it does is make my dad angry at memfor being incompetent and make my mom think its her fault and my sister confused and jst takes up everyones time

and its jst all v strange. like i was kinda raised 2 not have friends, inadvertantly i guess. i can remember my mom trying to make me feel better about something along the lines of u can b okay w/out friends if u have family but she jst told me friends dont matter and im never gonna talk to ppl i meet at my age as an adult, so it stuck w/ me and i started to make moral judgements on ppl on small things we could talk out like say, they use homophobic language sometimes but im sure theyd respect me enough to stop, but id make those judgements before we could befriend each other n take a chance, kinda to protect myself from attachments? but later in life ive found ppl who dont do stuff like that, and thats when i focus in on them im an unfair way to them and they r the only person/group of ppl in my life, etc etc and idk how to stop because im so scared of hanging out w/ most ppl alone i guess? but ill still be here, thinking about like example (namedrop bc he doesnt have me tumblr anyways) my friend jacob tht never hung out w/ me outside of school but i fuccin loved that kid n he just stopped talking to me over the summer n ignored my text i send first day of summer and now we see each other and talk briefly but its like he wont let us be friends anymore and smth like this always happens and its So

and tbh how can i expect it to not happen when i limit myself so much n they will have plenty of other close close friends when i dont? and i think ive gotten better but idk anymore. 

and uh, unrelated. I think my dog ive had for 12 years may have to end up being put down this year. hes got cataracts in both eyes and skin diseases and back problems and teeth problems (hes inbred) and hes losing his hearing too and for the past two weeks hes been peeing everywhere and we can let him out but he cant climb stairs anymore n he has to walk them to get to our yard and im the only one w/ the patience to pick him up (hes only 8 pounds) n put him in the yard bc my parents will jst scream at him n my sister doesnt like dogs and hes got seperation issues w me and whines when he cant be in my room which is the farthest from the door out n stuff. and its like rlly stressful my mom will scream at him in front of my sister n brother n me and the other day she said my dad grabbed him by the neck and threw him out on the concrete cuz he peed inside and hes so tiny that thats just gonna make everyting worse and its notmlike i can stop them bc why would anyone listen to me and hed prob b fine for s few more years if he lived in a patient house with ppl who would take him to the vet but theyre prob gonna put him down early snd its gonna b so weird w/out him

when i showered earlier i took s razor with me w/ the intent to cut my thighs, and i did a little, but i never ever draw blood wnd its strange. why am i given these urges when im so fucking terrified of blood. itll still leave marks n stuff but it makes me feel weak ? n ill bruise myself up instead but its never the same. and im such an advocate for help w self harm but i cant for myself. its like i subconsciously want 2 get caught ? idk. i did throw my razor away though and the others i have r rusty and im not THAT much of a dumbass so i dont have options to self harm anymore unless i get new ones. lifehack

and uh lol, having no schedule n it being summer my eating habits r SHIT. it always hurts to eat p much, its at different times n most of the time i just snck only or i dont eat for hours n see black spots n stuff. and when i dont eat its not a body image thing (im nt rlly happy w my nody but its not sth not eating will help with) its cuz i dknt wanna go upstairs for food where my dad is n the snacks r downstairs so its easier, or cuz i forget or cuz i like, want to punish myself? but im too lazy to self harm. its weird

n since ive stopped id’ing as ace officially my internalized lesbophobia has gotten so much worse . im so repressed and lost ans sad, nothinng rly makes sense? I either fall in love w/ anyone who flirts with me or i focus on someone who ill never fucking talk to or see again and imagine countless scenarios n set myself up to b sad. i seek validation from ppl on it but nothhing comes out right or i just cant say it, because other than when i make myself the butt of gay jokes i just cant sven get the words out of my throat that im gay cuz im jst so ashamed and disgusted with myself. ive been looking at pictures of guys lately cuz ive been trying to force myself to like them. back when i thought i was pan it always felt safer bc i could always just love a cis guy or whatever and everything would b okay for my family ykno. and its such a shameful thing for me bc my irl friends who im out to, most see me as v confident abt it at least a little bc im loud abt it u kno, and make all sorts of jokes, and i jst know so many would b surprised or like sad abt that

i want to stop liking girls so much. like holy shit. i have so many straight girl friends and i hate it when they flirt with me because lik, none r my type so i feel nothing but then i feel like i shiuld then feel like No i shouldnt then feel like i shouldnt even be around them bc im a gross disgusting creepo dyke predator. n they always use the excuse of me having a gf so its fine id never hit on them well like, now im single so i have to be DOUBLE careful not to b affectionate w them as im w all my friends and itsssssssssssssmjshfjhdjfhsjdhjshdjshdjhsjdhsjhdjshdk

and i like, think abt this girl alot n yea its romantic even thomwe never fucking talked n rlly i do that w lots of girls and its making me lose out on friendships bc i wanna b their friends somehow bc i think theyre very cool n stuff but i cant stop hodling on to stupid daydreams n idealizations i get to distract me when im sad n its jst stupid like i know its dumb but guess whos boutta keeeeeeppppp doin it??!!!!! boy!!!

and i try so damn hard to talk feeling out, n talk abt who im attracted to n stuff w ppl, n i try so hard to gush but i cant cuz smth comes outta my mouth and then i cant speak past that and no one ends up rlly knowing how i feel, bc ANY time i talk abt anytingngay related abt me its what happens. and i listen to others talking abt tht stuff and i jsut get so god damn JEALOUS bc idk how to express myself 

all these inadequacies n shit is making it rlly hard to see how,im gonna b on my own n its always been like this. at TWELVE YEARS OLD i came to fhe fucking conclusion that i was just gonna kill myself when i turned 18 so i didnt have to deal with all this and i was OKAY WITH IT and i just went through life knowing that and hiding it and so rarely questioning my inevitable suicide as a childc so instead of dealing with all that n my problems n getting better i let myself get worse cuz uh, fuck it right

idk its all just occured to me how im not a fully functioning human being, in seberal if not all aspects of my life, its weird. now that I actively want to live and realize i uh Kinda have to simce ill b the legal guardian of my brother its all very scary

sorr i was all over the place and all the typos i didnt mean anyof them n im not crytyping like, i cried a bit but i jst hate typing kn thsi shitty tablet keyboard, n dont wanna spellcheck. if u read through comgratulations also please dont message me abt like the self harm junk n my dog n stuff like, whatever ur abt to say. I Know my guy 

time to go uhhhhhhhhhhh daydream about impossible gay shit with guilt in the back of my mind

[darklarru]

all of them. just fckin.. all of them. every single question. 1-100. good luck comrade.

fuck u, here it is:

1.      Is a kiss considered cheating?

-if theykiss a boy idm.

2.      Have you ever faked orgasm?

-yeahlmao

3.      If you could have one superpower, what would it be?

-shapeshifting

4.      Do you think you are going to be rich in 7-8-9 years?

-I fuckinhope so

5.      Tell us some funny drunk story.

-oh man,ive only been smashed once, and it was a night full of regrets and a lot ofcheating and gay stuff happened.

6.      Why are you no longer together with your ex?

-u knowwhat. fuck my ex, he was a manipulative cheating cunt and he broke up with meover snapchat.

7.      If you had to choose one way to die, what would it be? 

-bathtuband sleeping pills, im out painlessly.

8.      What are your current goals?

-be asuccessful bitch and build myself up.

9.      Do you like someone?

-wheneverI think of feelings I take a shot so idk..

10.   Who was the last person to disappoint you?

-my ex.

11.   Do you like your body?

-eh imgetting there

12.   Can you keep a diet?

-no lmao

13.   If the whole world listened to you right now, what would you say?

-don’t discriminateagainst sex workers and treat them like actual people.

14.   Do you work?

-yep, gota retail job and everything.

15.   If you could choose only one food to eat to the rest of your life, whatwould it be?

-ayesalad, bc anything you cut up and put in a bowl is salad, so pizza salad, fruitsalad, ice cream salad, anything.

16.   Would you get a tattoo?

-hellyeah, im actually thinking about getting this floral one on my thigh, gottalike, tell my mum tho.

17.   Something you don’t mind spending all your money on?

-theperson I love,,

18.   Can you drive?

Ive onlyhad like, one driving test ever.

19.   When was the last time someone told you you were beautiful?

-at therink on Friday? Someone said I was beautiful and that my ex didn’t deserve me:)

20.   What was the last thing you cried for?

-when I drinkI don’t cry, so ive been drinking a lot.

21.   Do you keep a journal?

-yep,serves as my receipts.

22.   Is life fun?

-ehhhhitll get there.

23.   Is farting in front of people irrelevant?

-I don’t reallycare, just warn me so I have time to get out of there.

24.   What’s your dream car?

-somethingI don’t have to use petrol for.

25.   Are grades in school important?

-justnail ur finals and ur good.

26.   Describe your crush.

-its tooearly homie

27.   What was the last book/movie that really impressed you?

-WONDERWOMAN HOLY SHIT A+

28.   What was your last lie?

-im fine

29.   Dumbest lie you ever told? 

-idk, I normallytell the truth, its such an effort to lie.

30.   Is crying in front of people embarrassing?

-no I doit all the time lmao

31.   Something you did and you are proud of?

-Teamedup with my Best Friend and Absolutely Called the shit out of my Ex out andfuckin roasted him.

32.   What’s your favourite cocktail?

-I haven’tdelved into cocktails too much yet, ive been drinking straight.

33.   Something you are good at?

-iceskating?? idk

34.   Do you like small kids?

-I hatekids so much

35.   How are you feeling right now?

-There

36.   What would you name your daughter/son?

-daughter:Lavender? Idk I just watched matilda and I was like what a pretty name, andboys: Christian?  

37.   What do you need to be happy?

-abillion dollars

38.   Is there some you want to punch in the face right now?

-my ex

39.   What was the last gift you received?

-does mycoworker buying everyone hot chocolates and frozen cokes during their shiftcount as a gift

40.   What was the last gift you gave?

-a fidgetcube?

41.   What was the last concert you went to?

-panic atthe disco in January :D

42.   Favourite place to shop at?

-ittotally was this gothic shop in Newtown, but then it moved and I don’t knowwhere it is anymore :/

43.   Who inspires you?

-myselfbitch

44.   How old were you when you first got drunk?

-18

45.   How old were you when you first got high?

-never

46.   When was your first kiss?

-when I was15? 16?

47.   Something you want to do until the end of this year?

-be amermaid, like fr, go follow mermaid_shelly on Instagram no joke.

48.   Is there something in the past you wish you hadn’t done?

-dated myex

49.   Post a selfie.

-heres alink instead: http://darklarru.tumblr.com/post/161374174865/cat-cafe-aesthetic

50.   Who are you most comfortable around?

-my BestFriend

51.   Name one thing that terrifies you.

-to loseeverything I worked for

52.   What kind of books do you read?

-haventread a book in so long, but I like the fantasy genre

53.   What would you tell your 12 year old self?

-girl,girl, u gay as fuck

54.   What is your favourite flower?

-roses!!

55.   Any bad habits you have?

-speakingquietly

56.   What kind of people are you attracted to?

-peoplewho think the same as me

57.   What was the last thing you cried for?

-my ex :/

58.   Is there something you don’t eat? Some food that truly disgust you?

-pickles,what r they doin, get outta here

59.   Are you in love?

-yeah imalways in love

60.   Something you find romantic?

-tealightcandles

61.   How long was your longest relationship? 

-like 3or 4 months

62.   What are 3 things that irritate you about the same sex?

-wereso,, bitchy.

63.   What are 3 things that irritate you about the opposite sex? 

-they don’tknow what the fuck is up, they don’t listen, they always horny, theyre kindaviolent, theyre more hardcore and aggressive physically.

64.   What are you saving money for?

-anothermermaid tail,,, but also a house I guess

65.   How would you describe your bad side?

-emotional,angry, violent, temperamental, not thinking,, idk

66.   Are you actually a good person? Why?

-sometimesI guess, I try not to be shitty, but some people fuckin deserve it.

67.   What are you living for?

-a future

68.   Have you ever done anything illegal?

-probably

69.   Do you like your body?

-yeahsometimes

70.   Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally?

-notunless we were fighting

71.   Ever sent nudes?

-whohasnt

72.   Have you ever cheated on someone?

-I cheatedon a guy with girl and I was very drunk, but then we said same sex cheating wasokay

73.   Favourite candy?

-redfrogs, gummy bears

74.   Is there a blog you visit every day, or almost every day? Tag it!

-imbarely on this hell site

75.   Do you play any computer games? What is your favourite game?

-adarkroomwas one of my Faves

76.   Favourite TV series?

-w.i.t.c.h.what a Classic

77.   Are you religious? Does God exist?

-yeah, imchill w god.

78.   What was the last book you read? Did it impress you and why?

-I haven’tread a book in so long yall.

79.   What do you think about vegetarianism/veganism?

-kudos tothem who r doin it but I really love chicken.

80.   How long have you been on Tumblr?

-sinceyear 9, so like, 2013

81.   Do you like Chineese food?

-I am Chinese

82.   McDonalds or Subway?

-subwayyyy

83.   Vodka or whiskey?

-fuuuuuuck,,,fucking love vodka but it makes my face screw up in a bad expression, and I lovefireball whiskey, but like, vodka gets me fucked up faster.

84.   Alcohol or drugs?

-alcohol,don’t do drugs kids

85.   Ever been out of your province/state/country?

-ya

86.   Meaning behind your blog name?

-I lovetypos

87.   What gets you up in the morning?

-spite.

88.   What are you scared of?

-a lot ofthings

89.   Last time you were insulted?

-wednesday

90.   Most traumatic experience ?

-my bf atthe time, was fuckin, chewin his toenails in his mouth, and I forgot bc he wasbein sweet n he stuck his tongue out to touch mine, n I stuck mine out too n I fuckni,,.,,,. touched the toenail w my mouth I nearly threw up, I felt my soul ejectfrom my body for a second.

91.   Perfect date idea?

-picnicdaate, and watching the stars and cuddling

92.   Favourite app on your phone?

-instagram?I check it the most.

93.   What colour are the walls in your room?

-white

94.   Do you watch Youtube? Who is your favourite youtuber?

-daviddobrik tbh

95.   Share your favourite quote.

-ifsomeone tells you that they hurt you, you don’t get to decide that you didn’t.

96.   What is the meaning of life?

-when thestreets are empty and the moon is shining and nobody is awake and its chilly,but your alone and maybe the wind is blowing through the grass, or whatever.

97.   Do you like horror movies?

-fuck nah

98.   Have you ever made your mum cry? What happened?

-I signedup for Netflix and didn’t tell her.

99.   Do you feel lucky or special in a way?

-I amspecial

100. Can you keep a secret?

-ya justmake sure u tell me its important.

[cadem28]

180804 Dreamcatcher Fanaccount

Dreamcatcher fannaccount

Hello everyone, I went to the dreamcatcher concert in Bogotá and I’ll try to capture how my experience at their concert was. Obviously I’ll preface this with the fact that English isn’t my first language and it’s been a while since I’ve written essays or any long form piece so just try to bear with me and if something isn’t clear just ask me and I’ll try to clarify.

Going back a bit I bought the tickets the day they went on sale, one for me and one for my friend who isn’t really into dreamcatcher but thought it was gonna be fun (which it was) so he tagged along.

We got to the venue and started lining up at around 4:30, the theatre was in a somewhat sketchy area on a closed street (idk how you call that someone help me here) so for the most part I was a bit paranoid that something was gonna happen, either to us or just in general. Stuff actually did end up happening, for example someone broke a glass bottle, and we saw a guy scream at a woman on the street over some altercation they had, initially I thought the guy was shouting at his wife, who promptly responded “No one IN THIS COUNTRY speaks like that to me”, but in fact it was just some random woman and he went with his actual wife and baby later, real crazy shit.

Interestingly enough, there were a lot of street vendors selling unofficial merch to the people in the line, mostly hats and t-shirts with different DC logos. I noticed the guys weren’t selling too well considering that every time they passed they had the same exact pieces and people didn’t seem too keen on buying them. Originally their asking price was 15K pesos for a hat (around 5 US dollars, exchange almost 3K pesos for 1 dolar) and 25k pesos/12 USD for a t-shirt, at the end of the concert the guy was selling them for 10K pesos/3 USD for the t-shirts so I hope it wasn’t too rough of a day for them. Annyways damn this is getting long and I haven’t even begun with the concert.

Anyway, at around 5:40 the line started moving and we began entering the venue, which was really pretty inside and gave me a good vibe. When we got in we were given a number which was going to be used for a raffle but I didn’t win so idk what they got. At around 6:40 the venue started playing the dreamcatcher songs so we were sure that the concert was finally starting but the curtains weren’t opening, so I thought it was a mistake and that someone from audio had fucked up but no, they let You&I, Fly High, Good Night and Chase me play. Surprisingly people were going fucking crazy JUST for the audio of the songs, they did the fan chants and clapped and cheered after every song, and they screamed loud as hell too, the gender distribution of the concert was around 65% girls and 35% dudes so the girls screamed for literally everything and anything. People really where having a mini concert with just the audio before the concert actually started.

So the concert eventually began, and immediately people started putting their phones up to record. We had floor/pit/idk how you people call it tickets and it was standing room only so essentially this meant that we were gonna have to see the concert through these people’s screens and I was just so heartbroken that it wasn’t gonna be the experience I thought it was going to be. Fortunately, my friend had the genious (and I mean it) idea of actually moving back, because due to the angle or elevation or like physics dude idk, and we actually had a clearer view of the girls that way.

Fly High, Emotion and their other ballad uhhhh how is it called.

The curtains opened and RRAH, they were there, these K-Pop people we had all been seeing on the internet for our entire fan lives were there, they existed, Siyeon, Gahyeon Dami, JiU, Handong, Yoohyeon and SuA, they were REAL, but even more so, people in this country haven’t had a K-Pop concert in like never (aka 5 years) so for this new generation of fans that attended it finally felt like K-Pop was something real, that it existed outside of the internet and it was finally in front of our eyes, it was extremely surreal. As for these first 3 songs I personally was just kinda sorting my view so I didn’t really pay too much attention to them, plus Dreamcatcher’s ballads are kind of weak and Fly High isn’t their greatest title imo so yeah didn’t miss much (I think).

Group, Individual and unit covers and You&I

Here’s where the real concert started, at least for me. I didn’t look at any of the setlists of the previous concerts in the tour so every cover or special stage was unknown to me. I don’t exactly know the order in which they came so I’ll just try my best to remember. At first they started playing this sort of weird dubstep freaky music and I was confused as to what was happening, but then the song started playing, Imagine Dragons – Believer and holy fucking shit, I had seen videos of the cover and was personally underwhelmed by it, but IRL? Just Woah, they hit every move with inch-perfect precision and “punch” in it, they really out here looking like they were trying to prove a point, to who? For what? I don’t know but they made it look like if they were doing some indigenous exorcist ritual that their life depended on. Every kick, every move, every time the chorus hit they just fucking unleashed, I adored it and at multiple times I audibly screamed “Que gonorrhea”, the upper latin america equivalent of holy shit to my friend, who despite being as impressed at me didn’t really show it, but more on that later.

I think after that they did You and I which was the performance in the entire concert, just the intensity and Dami doing her magic trick which idk where it even came from blew me away. People did the fan chants super loud and went even crazier for this song than the others. If this concert was an album then this was the title track.

After that, the unit covers started, for every one we’d get a mini VCR/Video on the screen hyping up which members where to come. First came Yoohyeon and Gahyeon covering Tayeon – I. This was a special song for me since I knew Dreamcatcher had a cover of SNSD ITNW so I really wanted them to do it since I love SNSD, so instead of that we got this and just wow. The song being the power ballad it is gave Yoohyeon the chance of hitting the incredible high note in the middle of the song and it was this magical moment where everyone in the audience could feel it, her strength and the power in her voice. Having never seen anything like it live, through my mind came the thought of “Wow, this really what we live for, this K-Pop stuff might be weird and a lot of people might not get it but damn, moments like this are what we’re here for”.

Next up was JiU and Handong doing Troublemaker – Troublemaker. Obviously I knew the song was a bit raunchy but JiU and Handong really said fuck this PG shit we doin it how it meant to be done and they WENT FOR IT. There was none of this hover hand stuff I had seen on the performances on Korean shows, they were grabbing each other’s ass, breasts and anything in between and not apologizing to anyone for it. On the contrary every time they crossed any physical line people went nuts, screaming like I had never heard. Real strong cover.

Coming up was SuA and Dami with Taemin – Move. Strong cover but I don’t remember much of it, Dami was the most popular member but she also seemed kinda tired.

Finally came Siyeon’s solo with Alan Waker – Faded and god damn. Ya girl was born to be a rockstar, I figured it out 2 seconds after she started singing, her voice just had such projection and she had the superstar vibe going on so hard. When she sang people payed attention, she grabbed us and didn’t let us go ever. At the end she set up the microphone stand and kicked it down in a real power move which kinda made me realise that she was the one running shit around here. Thinking back she 100% was the MVP of the concert, not just because of her stage but also because in every performance she was the one who went the hardest, both singing and dancing, she put the concert on her back and if I you asked me who is main dancer and main singer in that group, just based on this concert it would be both her. Back to the song however, my friend commented to me that he actually did know this song, so I was like “okay, my boy gonna get hype finally, maybe sing it a bit or something” but nope, he just stood there and I know it’s just the way he is but I think on some way he certainly affected my concert experience, I saw everyone going crazy and in some ways I felt like I was separated from that because I payed attention to my friend having a good time, which he didn’t seem to be having even though later he told me he loved it, but also because we were so far back in some ways it felt that yes we could see better but we weren’t really part of all the concert.

Then came the Q&A segment which was just messy all around, Dami did despacito and every girl did some variation of sexy dance to a song I couldn’t really recognize. They did great, all of them. They tried answering fan questions later but the translator was just not good at all, I couldn’t understand anything she said so idk what they were asked or what was answered, groups that come in the future get a better translator please, also they did the raffle with the numbers for the prizes but since I didn’t win I don’t know what they won, maybe I would’ve talked about it if you had chosen me @WhoeverOrganizedThis but no. They also did the usual K-Pop fan service stuff like aegyo, however they did at one point start “kissing”, I use the quotation marks because they did that thing of turning around and covering themselves with their hair so no one could see their faces which tells me they almost certainly were faking it. Personally I really disliked this, they more than likely aren’t kissing like that in their personal lives and I just don’t see the need of these world class dancers, singers and performers lowering themselves to doing something they probably aren’t all that comfortable in doing even if they’re faking it. It ain’t necessary and unlike in the Troublemaker performance there wasn’t any rhyme or reason for doing it other than getting a reaction out of the fans, but they did that all throughout the night based on their talent alone so I just don’t see why. Please cut it off.

After that I think they did the B-sides of their newest album, the You&I one which personally I don’t care for so I just remember they used Which star as the fan engagement song (i.e to wave to people do hearts, finger hearts, take the flags given to them, etc.) and that I went to the bathroom, nice bathrooms in the venue but for reason the door started opening when I was peeing so like if anyone that owns the theatre is reading this please fix the left room door dude that shit don’t close I promise.

They also did some Maroon 5 covers but who cares about maroon 5, their only good songs are Maps and Animals.

Remaining title tracks, Sleepwalking and Full Moon

This was the best part of the concert. Re-energized after the break they went HARD on every single track, the formations, the timing, these girls danced like they had a death wish or as if their lives depended in this concert only. The line they form in Sleepwalking with the gun sounds, the riffs before the chorus on chase me, good night and full moon as a whole, just woah. By the second these girls were redefining what I believed was possible to do with the human body and the crowd were with them every single step of the way, screaming, fanchanting and getting lost in their music in a way I wish I could have done too, but just my friend wasn’t with the hype and I could never immerse myself in the vibe and the mind of the crowd unfortunately. They closed with Full moon and we left after that.

Closing thoughts

Couldn’t have asked for a better show, on the girl’s side everything was sharp as diamond. External factors like my friend, who I love but I don’t think this is his scene or the translator took me out of the event enough times that I feel I didn’t get to enjoy the show as much as I should’ve, which makes me incredibly sad since this is probably one of the top groups in terms of performances in the entirety of the genre. Unfortunately I think my friend was the biggest factor out of those, and like I said I love him but it did really feel like he was there as a favour to me rather than enjoying himself, which I don’t want at all. KARD is coming up so I don’t know what I’ll do, I could get him a bit drunk but at the end of it I just think it’s better for me to go with people who are more into the genre and allow me to be my real crazy fan self which obviously is hard to be with people who don’t entirely “get it”. Annyways this shit long as fuck I don’t think anyone actually read it up unitl here considering I’m not that good of a writer, so I’m sorry (again).

Best original dreamcatcher songs: You & I

Best Cover: Imagine Dragons – Believer & Siyeon – Alan waker Faded & JiU Handong – Troublemaker, actually all of them man this group talented af.

[theworstbob]

yellin’ at songs, 4.14.2007 + 4.15.2017

the songs that debuted on the billboard chart this week and ten years ago this week. today: buttrock confessions

4.14.2007

40) "Ticks," Brad Paisley

So I watched the whole entire CMAs instead of Game 7 of the World Series and don't regret a single choice I made (the game went into extras, you don’t really have to watch baseball until the ninth inning tbh), and it struck me how much of a dorky theatre kid Brad Paisley was. He's objectively a great guitarist, like hokey as this song is and as little I know about music I think that's a dope fucking guitar line, but gosh darn, he was trying so hard the whole time at those CMAS! And that puts a song like this in perspective, because, like I said, it's hokey as fuck, but if you can just understand that Brad Paisley's sense of humor is that of someone who understands that being funny is a way to be Liked and is trying his best to be Liked, it sort of comes together and you can brush it off.

75) "We Takin' Over," DJ Khaled ft./T.I., Akon, Rick Ross, Fat Joe, Lil' Wayne, Baby

FUCK DUDE LIL' WAYNE USED TO BE GOOD. Like OK I think we all know I wanted to come here and be like "look at the humble beginnings of the meme man! He wasn't such a meme in these days!" but then there was a Lil' Wayne verse where he wasn't fucking around with Auto-tune, he was just rapping, and he was such a good fucking rapper that I'm actually angrier at the two "verses" he had on those Nicki Minaj songs a couple weeks back. It's not even one of his more notable verses, I don't think, it was just a normal 10-year-old Wayne verse, but I'm still here like, what a treat, a Lil' Wanye feature I don't mind! How lucky we were in 2007!

78) "Little Wonders," Rob Thomas

it is good to remember things that are nice! the lyric video i watched for this song ended with this message from the editor: "Believe in yourself, follow your dreams, and never, EVER give up =)." i would have much rather someone had just repeated those words over and over for three and a half minutes than listened to this song. DANNY ELFMAN?! fuck are you doing here, danny elfman? are you lost?

79) "Hey There Delilah," Plain White T's

There is nothing I could say about this song that would be worth saying.

82) "I Tried," Bone Thugs-N-Harmony ft./Akon

a'ight, see, now i feel better about bumping pink and jordan pruitt from the top 20, because it won't be some buttrock heroes what bumps 'em, it'll be a legit impressive, heartfelt song. i'm kinda surprised i don't remember this! now i just gotta contend with the fact most of both top 20s are gonna be dudes. but like most of these songs are dudes. this week is all dudes. next week is a 7:2 dude-to-lady ratio. last week was 2:1. maybe less dudes? idk, recency bias is doin' work, but at least two weeks from now, we're gonna get some dope tunes.

87) "Get Buck," Young Buck

HOLY SHIT THIS FUCKING BEAT THE TUBA HAS NEVER HAD A BETTER DAY IN ITS LIFE. OK, this is the first 2007 track I think has been unjustifiably forgotten by time. “Say OK” hit me, but I think that was just a moment for me. This is objectively a classic, this fucking beat, man. Young Buck doesn't add a ton to the proceedings, but he doesn't ruin anything, his gruff, shouty flow is perfect for the beat, and I'll admit, I got a dark chuckle out of the "I can serve Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown" line. This was fuckin' rad, y'all, the best "new to me" song I've heard so far. Seriously this beat, how have we not found a better home for it, how did no one else latch onto it. A strong silver medalist in the "Southern rap songs with the word 'buck' in the title" category.

89) "A Woman's Love," Alan Jackson

Alan Jackson, last seen walking out on Beyonce's performance at the CMAs, is here singing a jaunty tune about how one time he fucked.

91) "Love Today," MIKA

i mean it's just a good song, man, i dunno. i'm allowed to just say when a song is solid and something i can jam to, right, when i don't think i have anything to justify? it's low-rent scissor sisters. I'LL TAKE THAT ANY DAY OF THE WEEK. solid week.

95) "Forever," Papa Roach

...oh goddamnit i love this song. No, you don't... Lemme explain. I need to explain, so lemme. So, I listened to a lot of the local buttrock station in my teens, because that's what the radio at the auto shop where I worked was always tuned to, was 93X. And, I dunno, there's a lot of bullshit I forgot and a lot of shit too horrible to purge from the mind, I've heard the acoustic version of Staind's "Outside" more times than any man ever should, but there were some songs where the Stockholm Syndrome hit, and you were like, "Well, maybe Chevelle isn't ALL bad." This was definitely the point where I was like, "Hey, this is the one decent Papa Roach song!" I was legit angry when I realized this was that song, I forgot I ever loved a Papa Roach song, I was 10000% sure this was a cover because there was no way I was going to go anywhere but IN on this song, but no, this is a song I shouted in the shower at least five times. I'm so disappointed in myself right now, but... But, yeah, this is, I can’t quite place where they cribbed the verses from but they cribbed well, the chorus is shouty and fake-deep like all the great buttrock songs, and I love that ending, the “one last kiss” thing over that bass line, without reservation. We have to be true to who we were, and who we are is never fully removed from who we were. I hate this. I hate having to admit this. THE ONE PAPA ROACH SONG I FUCK WITH, AND IT HAS TO BE PART OF THIS PROJECT. I HAVE TO TALK ABOUT A KENDRICK LAMAR SONG SOON, AND HERE I AM, FUCKING WITH A PAPA ROACH SONG, THROWING MY CRITICAL AUTHORITY OUT WITH THE BATHWATER.

97) "Breath," Breaking Benjamin

I have less reservations about loving a Breaking Benjamin song, though, because Breaking Benjamin wasn't fake-deep like Papa Roach. ("My feelings for you are forever." God, that's stupid. I love a very stupid thing.) No, Breaking Benjamin was legit dark, they were a buttrock band I knew was OK because my friend who ended up going to a semi-prestigious art high school of some renown was into them. Is it the same song as "The Diary of Jane?" Yeah, kinda, there's more than a little resemblance, "THE DIARY OF JANE" IS A LEGIT GREAT SONG AND BITING THAT SONG IS A SMART MOVE.

At least Papa Roach couldn’t crack the Top 20. 2007: gaining strength! 20) "Get it Shawty," by Lloyd (3.31.2007) 19) "Break 'Em Off," by Paul Wall ft./Lil' KeKe (3.10.2007) 18) "My Oh My," by The Wreckers (1.27.2007) 17) "Mr. Jones," by Mike Jones (1.27.2007) 16) "Settlin'," by Sugarland (2.17.2007) 15) "I Tried," by Bone Thugs 'n Harmony (4.21.2007) 14) "Movin' On," by Elliott Yamin (3.17.2007) 13) "U + Ur Hand," by P!nk (1.13.2007) 12) "Doe Boy Fresh," by Three 6 Mafia ft./Chamillionaire (1.20.2007) 11) "Breath," by Breaking Benjamin (4.21.2007) 10) "Beautiful Liar," by Beyonce & Shakira (3.31.2007) 9) "Cupid's Chokehold," by Gym Class Heroes ft./Patrick Stump (1.13.2007) 8) "The River," by Good Charlotte ft./M. Shadows & Synyster Gates (2.10.2007) 7) "Say OK," by Vanessa Hudgens (2.17.2007) 6) "Alyssa Lies," by Jason Michael Carroll (1.13.2007) 5) "Get Buck," by Young Buck (4.21.2007) 4) "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going," by Jennifer Hudson (1.13.2007) 3) "Candyman," by Christina Aguilera (1.13.2007) 2) "Because of You," by Ne-Yo (3.17.2007) 1) "Dashboard," by Modest Mouse (2.17.2007)

4.15.2017

22) "The Heart Part 4," by Kendrick Lamar

I mean, with the way I do this thing, everything that's been said about this song has been said, and I'm hella late to the party, trying to get another round of Pin the Tail on the Donkey started. "You didn't have fun without me, I'm about to have fun WITH you!" No Bob! we already played that game Bob!. "BLINDFOLD ME!" I think it's vitally important that Kendrick Lamar remind everyone that he's the best MC alive right now, because he is, and gosh, he just fucking raps for four minutes. Barely a hook, just Kendrick Lamar verses and flows for a solid four minutes, and I'm really curious how many rappers could sustain a song for four (mostly) uninterrupted minutes just on their own. Minimalist production, it's just your voice and your words. I'd put Danny Brown in that category, but it'd be a bleak-ass four minutes. I want to put Killer Mike in that category, but I have to think there's a reason he works best in a duo. I'd want to listen to what four minutes of undiulted Young Thug would sound like?, but more out of curiosity than belief in his ability. And I mean Kendrick's the only one in the popular consciousness who could do it, no fuckin’ question, there's no one in the mainstream rap world anywhere NEAR his level. (Kendrick Lamar is barely mainstream, of course, and that fact is a source of much consternation on this song, like there's no way the entire Kendrick album breaks the Hot 100 like the entire Drake album did, but he was in a Tay Tay song the one time and that's enough.) Just listening to Kendrick Lamar rap is one of the most thrilling songs I've heard for YAS 2017. Honestly, I'm ranking it too low in the Top 20, but only because I have to think better things are on their way and am wary of that recency bias wave.

49) "XO Tour Lif3," by Lil Uzi Vert

Congratulations on being the modern rap song which followed "The Heart Part 4!" You were always going to suffer in comparison, and while I regret that it happened to you, I hope you understand it had to happen to someone. I mean, this is a three-minute song, and at some point I got bored enough that I forgot I was supposed to be paying attention to come up with an observation and/or a joke and did other things. Not even shit I needed to take care of, I checked Facebook and thought about getting a glass of milk until he started saying all his friends are dead, like what?, oh okay I guess that's how this song ends then, OH FUCK well prolly not worth dipping back in if I got that distracted.

61) "Speak to a Girl," by Tim McGraw & Faith Hill

So over the last four weeks, only three women have had tracks debut on the Hot 100. That's pretty cool. One of the three dudes who wrote this song, about what a girl REALLY wants from a man, was also a co-writer on Jason Derulo's "Wiggle," which is, I mean, I'm going off Wikipedia, I'm hopeful this is too awful to be true, but if it isn't, how does that dude sleep at night? What does that dude believe in? Who is his god, just, to what moral authority is our man Joe London holding himself accountable? Do Not Trust Joe London. Another of the songwriters worked with a band called Confederate Railroad. Country music is the coolest. I'm so proud to like this genre.

66) "Still Got Time," by ZAYN ft./PARTYNEXTDOOR

First of all, we need to take a minute to discuss the sheer disrespect for the concept of caps lock expressed by ZAYN and PARTYNEXTDOOR. This is a mumblecore pop song, and I must insist these dudes cease using all capital letters until they prove they're capable of expressing excitement. Other than that gripe, though, I dunno, I didn't have a bad time! I enjoyed it about as much as I did "Running Back" a few weeks ago, it didn't light this Tuesday evening on fire, but it was a chill groove, and I appreciated the B+ to which all involved contributed. Also, new favorite Wikipedia line: "Shane Lindstrom, professionally known as Murda Beatz." One, professionally known. Two, imagine ever asking someone to call you Murda. Gosh, what a stupid fucking stage name. (Stage name? Backstage name? Why do you need an alias bro you're a fucking producer, you don't get to have a fake name, the fuck makes you think you can have a fake name. Even Swizz Beatz rapped sometimes, what is your goddamned problem Murda Beatz.)

2017′s Top 20! I lowered “Run Up” again. I miss it dearly but I can’t pretend I liked it more than “Green Light.” 20) "Swalla," by Jason Derulo ft./Nicki Minaj & Ty Dolla $ign (4.8) 19) "Light," by Big Sean ft./Jeremih (2.25) 18) "Everyday," by Ariana Grande ft./Future (3.4) 17) "Draco," by Future (3.11) 16) "Guys My Age," by Hey Violet (2.11) 15) "Good Drank," by 2 Chainz ft./Gucci Mane & Quavo (2.11) 14) "Yeah Boy," Kelsea Ballerini (3.4) 13) "Selfish," by Future ft./Rihanna (3.18) 12) "Slide," by Calvin Harris ft./Frank Ocean & Migos (3.18) 11) "It Ain't Me," by Kygo x Selena Gomez (3.4) 10) "Now & Later," by Sage the Gemini (2.25) 9) "Shape of You," by Ed Sheeran (1.28) 8) "That's What I Like," by Bruno Mars (3.4) 7) "The Heart Part 4," by Kendrick Lamar (4.15) 6) "Chanel," by Frank Ocean ft./A$AP Rocky (4.1) 5) "Run Up," by Major Lazer ft./PARTYNEXTDOOR & Nicki Minaj (2.18) 4) "Green Light," by Lorde (3.18) 3) "Despacito," by Luis Fonsi ft./Daddy Yankee (2.4) 2) "Issues," by Julia Michaels (2.11) 1) "iSpy," by KYLE ft./Lil Yachty (1.14) how the fuck did “swalla” make it two weeks Also, I know there was a new Iggy Azalea song, and I’m just gonna say, if having to listen to 21 Drake songs was the price I paid to not have to hear 1 Iggy Azalea song, I will have been glad to have paid the toll. That is a reasonable trade, one I would never say no to. Boy I hope it doesn’t debut next week! Also: “iSpy” in the for-real top five! That’s so dope! I’m happy for that song!

Who won the week?

2007 had the stronger showing this week, and let’s be real, I think it’s out-paced 2017 at this point. 2007′s at the point where “Get It Shawty” is hanging on by a thread while “Grace Kelly” and “Outside Looking In” are outside looking in. 2017 needs to step its game up. We’re two weeks from “Umbrella.” Is that so much to ask, is for just one instant classic era-defining monster jam that shatters the world? Come on, 2017! 2007: 2 2017: 1