#fuckin fight me lets gooooo

[satorusugurugurl]

My Wedding Date is an Escort!

Summary: When invited to your best friend's wedding, you panic. One of the groomsmen, Toji Fushiguro, is your ex-fiancè. Not wanting to deal with probing questions and the embarrassment of being single, your friend Haibara recommends using an Escort! Taking a leap of faith, you book one my, the hottest one. Gojo Satoru is hot, sweet, and funny! The package deal! Men and Women pay thousands to go on a date with him (even more, which he doesn't do often). So when your request comes in, the desperation and pleading tone of your voice. Gojo’s heartthrobs, even more so when you tell him you don't want to have sex.

Pairing: Escort!Gojo x FAB Reader

Word Count: 4,673

Warning: dirty talk, cursing, smutty things, oral sex, fingering

A/N: LEEEET’S GOOOOO!!! Here we go; things are getting spicy and interesting!! If you want to be included in the tag list, YOU MUST HAVE AGE LISTED! Thank you!!

Part One Part Two Part Three Part Five Part Six Part Seven Part Eight

Satoru’s ab’s clenched under the graze of your fingers. His eyes followed those graceful fingers to the button of his jeans. His breath caught in his throat as you unbuttoned them.

“Toru, take me to our room.”

Satoru grabbed your wrist, dragging you out of the kitchen. The dessert you had promised him was long forgotten; the prospect of having you was a million times sweeter. The second you made it to the room, Satoru kicked the door close with his shoe. In a flash of white, Satoru had you pinned to the door, his lips slotting against yours in a hungry, desperate kiss.

One hand gripped your wrists, pinning them about your head, holding them firmly against the door. Satoru groaned against your mouth. His tongue flicked at your bottom lip, eagerly asking for your permission. You obliged, opening your mouth and allowing his tongue to slide against yours.

The faint sweetness of sugar. The traces of vanilla washed over your tongue as you kissed. It was an intoxicating taste; you felt yourself slowly becoming addicted to it. You wanted more. To taste Satoru, all of him.

You gasped as his knee slid between your legs, his thigh pressing up against your throbbing sex. The sensation of being touched like this again, after not being with anyone, had you dizzy and eager for more. Fighting against your hesitation, you rolled your hips over his thigh, pressing your aching sex firmly against him. Your soft whine flooded Satoru’s mouth, making him smirk against your lips as he pulled back.

”Does my thigh feel good, baby?” You nodded as he gripped your hip in his free hand, massaging the skin as he trailed kisses down your cheek. “I fuckin’ knew it. When I kissed you like this back at the bar, your hips twitched when I slid my knee between them. You wanted to grind yourself against my thigh, didn’t you? To use me as your toy, to make yourself cum.”His words hit you like blows to the stomach. Only they weren’t painful. They had your pussy fluttering, clenching around nothing. “Ah ha, there it is.”

”T-There what?”

Satoru took your earlobe between his teeth, gently nibbling on it before he trailed the tip of his tongue over the bite. “You clenched.” Feeling mortified was a bit of an understatement. If you could cover your face with your hands, you would have been. Instead, you made a groaning sound as your cheeks burned. “Hey now,” Satoru’s hot breath fanned over your sensitive ear, “there’s no need to be shy about it; knowing you’re feeling good makes my cock hard.” He rolled his hips, eagerly showing you the growing erection in his pants.

”F-Fuck, y-you’re hard.”

“Mhmm and it’s only half hard.” H-Half hard? He was only half hard, and he was already so big?! “So why don’t you keep rocking those hips for me? Let’s see if you can get me to the point my cock is so hard it hurts.”

Responding to his flirtatious dirty words was something you weren’t capable of doing, at least not yet. So, you instead rocked your hips against his thigh, pressing down a little harder this time. Your clit twitched happily, feeling some friction that wasn’t a toy or your hand for the first time in over a year. The pleasurable sensation had you crying out softly, sending our head rocking back to rest against the wall as you repeated the momentum.

Satoru growled, kissing and nipping at your neck, leaving hickeys in his wake. You let out the cutest little gasps and moans as your hips rocked against him. With each roll of your hips, the more confident you grow. Tentative gentle movements became more focused and centered around your pleasure. Watching how your chest rose and fell, how your skin flushed with the growing arousal, it was enough to have him nearly going feral.

You rocked your hips faster; the seam in your pants was in the perfect place, giving you additional friction over your throbbing clit. You were so wet you could feel your arousal soaking into your panties, and if you kept going at the pace you were, it would take no time at all for you to soak through your pants. Maybe you’d leave a wet spot on Satoru’s pants. Thinking about leaving a mark on him didn’t leave you embarrassed at the prospect, but it urged you to move faster instead.

”Oh, you’re feeling it now, aren’t you?” Satoru cooed and trailed the hand that had firmly been massaging your hips up your body. “You’re such a good girl, rocking against my thigh like this, using me to get off.”

The need to cum all over his thigh was burning at your core, fanning the kindling lust blooming at your core. However, you didn’t want just his thigh. You wanted more of him. To feel his hands on your bare skin, you longed to trail kisses over him like he had done to you. His thigh was just the beginning of you wanting to lose yourself in everything Gojo Satoru was willing to offer.

You were yanked out of your lustful fantasy as Satoru grabbed a handful of your breasts. His fingers gently kneaded the flesh, sending your head rocking forward, your half-lidded eyes drawn to his touch, watching as he groped you. Your nipples hardened under his touch, letting him know just how turned on you were. He hummed, feeling the hardening bud against the palm of his hand. At that moment, feeling you grinding against his leg, groping the soft flesh of your breast, something suddenly hit Satoru like a train.

“Hey, sweetheart,” your hazy eyes met him, “I think we’re wearing far too much clothing.” He released his iron grip on your wrists, and both his hands trailed down your body, toying with the hem of your shirt. “What do you say we make ourselves more comfortable?” his hot fingers dipped under the hem, teasingly rubbing over your bare skin.

No verbal response was given. You instead moved your hands towards his shirt. You slid them down, slowly unbuttoning each button with precise need. The slow, deliberate action had Satoru’s hips rocking forward, cock twitching in excitement. Your perfect fingers hadn’t even touched his skin, graced him with your touch, and he was already panting. Watching you move further and further down his chest, revealing his toned, beautiful ivory skin, was like foreplay.

The kind of foreplay that made him lose his mind.

Satoru growled, pushing your shirt up over your perfect breasts. Your skin was the most beautiful color he’d ever seen, so soft and delicate. His hands ran over your stomach, groaning at the way you jerked under the warmth of his hands. You were getting into it, slowly loosening your grip on your self-control. Witnessing you coming undone was something Satoru longed to see. It was also something he was determined to witness by the time he was through with you.

His long fingers grabbed the fabric of your bra, pushing it up over your breasts. Your breasts bounced, jiggling at the sudden loss of support. The sight had Satoru’s mouth watering. He couldn’t stop himself from leaning down, trailing the tip of his tongue over the curves of your breasts, tasting the sweet saltiness of your skin. You inhaled sharply, watching the white tufts of hair move as he placed open-mouthed kisses up your breasts before he took your erect nipple into his mouth.

”Ah fuck!” You cried out as his expert tongue lapped and swirled around the sensitive bud. “T-Toru~” Hearing that sweet nickname pass breathlessly through your lips had him growling. The vibrations of that had you crying out louder. “F-Feels good.”

Your fingers ran through his hair, gripping the soft strands, tugging him closer to your breasts, silently begging him for more. Picking up on what you wanted, Satour sealed his lips around the bud and sucked hard. You yelped, body hunching over him, your hips pathetically jerking against his leg. While his mouth continued its strategic attack on your nipples, his other hand groped and pinched the other.

”Satoru, oh my god.” The room felt like it was spinning from the amount of pleasure he was giving you. Your legs were beginning to tremble, knees buckling. “T-Toru, bed, l-let’s get on the bed.”

Satoru hummed happily at your request, popping off of your nipple. “I thought you’d never ask.” He walked backward, his hands never once leaving your body.

“God, your hands are so hot, so warm.” You both sank onto the futon before Satoru grabbed your shirt and bra, tugging it over your head. Leaving you bare-chested as he shrugged his shirt off, tossing it to the side

”If you think my hands feel good, wait until I show you what else my mouth can do.”

”Confident, are we?”

Satoru snickered, pushing you back against the bedding. “I promise you, I’m going to make you cum so hard, you’ll see your life flash before your eyes.” His promise had you swallowing dryly at your throat as he trailed his hands over the curves of your body. “You’re so goddamn beautiful, sweetheart.” He whispered as his fingers worked at the button of your jeans. “And your tits.” He learned back over your mounds, eyeing them closely as if he were trying to pick which one to give his undivided attention to.

”What about my tits?”

”They’re fucking perfect.” His tongue lolled out, running the flat over it over your nipple that was only pinched earlier. “They’re so soft, the perfect size for me, god I can’t get enough of them.”

His words struck a particular chord inside of you. He was drunk off your breasts, losing himself in the feel of them, while you felt like you were losing yourself to every part of him. The feel of his bare skin against yours, how the warmth of his mouth had you arching into him, craving more. You couldn’t get enough of Satoru.

Your desire had you trailing a hand down his stomach, sliding over his crotch where his throbbing cock strained. Gojo jerked, feeling you gently rubbing those sinful fingers over his erection. He growled, melting into you, his mouth continuing to work on you while he humped his hips against your hand.

“You’re so hard.” You whined out as you grabbed the shaft, rubbing it a bit harder.

”W-what can I say? I have the world's most gorgeous woman underneath me.” He pulled away from your breast with a grin. “Everything about him is making me high off pleasure; of course, my cock’s going to get hard.” Your thumb rubs over the growing wet spot forming on his boxers. “A-And while I love the face you’re so interested in my cock, I will admit it’s hard to focus on you when you touch me.”

The grave sound of need and lust in his voice gave you a boost of confidence. “Then maybe I should focus on you for a little bit.” Sitting up, you turned, pushing Satoru back against the sheets. He propped himself on his elbows, grinning as you pulled his jeans down.

You swallowed hard as you tossed them to join the other clothes before you tugged down his boxers. Satoru hissed as the cool air hit his hot, twitching cock that smacked against his stomach. It was thick, fat, and long, throbbing eagerly as you stared at it in awe. The head was swollen and red, dribbling pre-cum onto his stomach. Seeing it and seeing the smug smirk on his face had you pressing your thighs together, trying to ease some of the throbbing between them.

”Like what you see?” His cocky tone had you giggling with a shake of your head.

”Yes, it’s such a pretty cock.” He hummed snarky in response. “I wanna taste it.” Your hand wrapped around him, gently squeezing him before you leaned over him, kitten-licking the seeping tip.

“Oh fuck!” Gojo threw his head back with a groan. “I-I wasn’t expecting you to start li-h-haaah!” He gritted his teeth as you took the tip into your mouth, gently sucking him.

His hand gently grabbed the back of your head, fisting your hair as you started bobbing your head up and down, taking more of him—inch by inch into your warm, wet mouth. Hearing him growling and groaning as you began bobbing your head faster, fuck, you were dripping wet. The man was not only handsome and had the prettiest cock you’d ever seen, but he also made the most panty-soaking sounds you’d ever heard.

His deep breaths, the groans and gasps that left his mouth made you want to push yourself, to push him closer to the edge. Satoru panted and groaned, arching his back off the bed, bucking his hips into your mouth as broken groans filled the room, drowning out the gagging wet sound emanating from you. His tip leaked thin dribbles of pre-cum on your tongue. The salty sweetness had you eagerly sucking and jerking him off with your hand.

“Haah, of fuck, oooh, that’s it, sweetheart, that’s it, sweetie, my cock just like that.” Satoru lifted his head, groaning as he watched you bob up and down, those gorgeous lips wrapped around him while your hand moved up and down, slowly but surely working him up to an orgasm. “S-Sweetie, would you be okay with playing with my balls a little?”

You pulled off of him, and a mixture of drool and pre-cum ran down the corners of your mouth. “I-I’ll do you one better.” You gasped out in between pants as you leaned down, taking one of his balls into your mouth, gently licking and sucking on it.

Satoru growled through gritted teeth, his hands fisting into the sheets, head lolling back as you worked on him with your mouth. His grunts and groans had you more and more confident with every teasing lick, suck, and stroke. He was enjoying himself just as much as you were enjoying it.

“S-Sweetheart, god fuck! Fuck you’re doing such a good job, feels good, feels so fucking good.” And he wholeheartedly meant every single word. He’s been with his fair share of people. He left a few beds, but none of his partners in the past came even remotely close to making him feel as good as you did. “I-If you keep this up much longer, I’m going to be coming like I’m sixteen again.”

You perked up and grinned against him, “Yeah? You going to cum?” His words were the extra confidence boost you needed to keep going. “Then cum Toru~” You slowly trailed your tongue over the underside of his cock, moving up the vein.

He saw it before your tongue even touched him. “W-Wait, sweetie! Hold on, don’t I—“The second your tongue ran over the vein, Satoru lost it. “Fuucck! Hnngh!” Cum spurt out of the tip, hitting the side of your face, your hand, and his stomach. After a single lick up his cock. “Oooh fuck, shit.” His head fell back as he panted heavily.

You sat up on your knees, looking at the mess on his stomach and your hand. You giggled triumphantly, reaching for your discarded shirt and wiping your hand and his stomach off. “That was so fucking hot.” You scooped the cum off your cheek before sticking your fingers in your mouth, sucking them clean. Satoru groaned weakly in response. “Are you okay, Toru?” You were giddy over his breathless form.

”Y-Yeah, no, I’m fucking great; I just saw heaven for a second.” He was still panting, trying to regain his breath. “I didn’t think you’d lick there, or I would have warned you that’s my weak spot. I’m sorry- kind of not sorry for cumming on your cheek.” He whined out with a content smile.

”Don’t apologize; it was fuckin’ hot.” You leaned in, kissing the tip of his dick.

“Nngh!” He gasped at your kiss, his still-hard cock throbbing. “S-Sensitive sweetie,” he groaned as a bead of leftover cum prerolled down the head. “I’m really sensitive there.”

You crawled up, lying down next to him. “It was hot, plus it’s nice to know I don’t suck.” Satoru grinned, rolling over, pinning you under him.

“You did suck my cock so fucking good. Your skills are superb.” His head leaned down, kissed, and nipped at your neck. “What kind of gentleman am I? Cumming before my girl even gets a chance.” His crystalline eyes burned into yours. “I guess I’m just going to have to make you cum twice as hard.”

Your cunt pulses at the promise of that. “O-Okay.” You relax against the bed, a smooth sigh leaving your lips.

Satoru purred against your skin as he kissed down your chest. He licked and nipped longingly at your stomach, all the way to your pants. He yanked them down, throwing them behind him. His large hands slid up the calves of your legs before he pushed at your knees, spreading your legs open. A harsh growl sounded from deep down in his throat as he saw the state your panties were in.

The thin fabric was soaked; a dark, wet spot had soaked through those cute panties. The sight nearly had him losing the restraint he had on himself. But after letting out a guttural groan, he slowly began kissing up your inner thighs as he laid on his stomach between your legs.

“God, you look so good, and you smell fucking delicious.” His tongue slowly slid up the wet spot on your panties.

“N-Nggh!” A needy, sharp gasp sounded from you.

“Mmmhmm.” Satoru nodded in approval. “I was right.” He tugged your panties to the side with a starved groan. “You’re are fuckin’ delicious.”

His mouth latches onto your pussy, tongue dipping between your folds, lapping your wet, slick folds. You screamed, your hands digging into his soft locks, tugging and pulling as the tip moved up to your clit. It moved slowly in circles while his hands grabbed your hips, pulling you firmly against his mouth. You cried out, eyes rolling into the back of your head as your hips jerked against his face.

Your cries of pleasure, the way your pussy twitched and clenched, had Satoru swirling his tongue faster. His eyes were locked on your face, watching you, drinking in the expressions that you made, the sounds that filled the room. He drank all of you in, just like you had done to him.

Satoru’s used one of his hands, pushing at your folds, exposing your clit. He lapped at you, from your entrance to your clit. When he reached your sensitive bud, he flicked at it. Hearing the whimpers and sharp intakes of air, Satoru repeated the pattern over and over again. Savoring the way your pussy got wetter and wetter with each flick and lap of his tongue. Not only was it from his spit, but most of it was from you.

You were in heaven, back arching, toes curling. All while your thighs trembled, clamping against Satoru’s head. But as you looked down, meeting those beautiful cerulean eyes, you could tell Satoru was enjoying this as much as you. His eyes were glazed over and dark with lust and need as he ate you out like you were his favorite treat.

You truly were becoming just that to him, too.

Satoru already liked you; he wanted to get to know you more. He’s been texting Suguru about how much fun he had been having with you and how he wanted him to meet you! He could see the two of you hanging out, spending time together. Now that you were hooking up, Satoru knew in his soul he couldn’t let this be a one-time thing.

Things were going a bit out of order, but he’d be damned if he didn’t take you out on a proper date. A real one! He would take you to the nicest restaurant in town. Maybe you could see a show or movie. After that, he’d take you home and eat your sweet pussy for dessert. The thought of just being with you, in a mundane way, had him grinding his lips into the futon.

Satoru wanted you in every way a person could.

“Oooh, ooh, fuck Toru.” You trashed your head back and forth, pulling him out of his fantasy. “T-Toru, I-I think I’m gonna cum.”

He pulled back an inch, “Yeah? Want me to finger you?” You nodded fast, sighing as he sealed his lips around your clit, before pushing two of his fingers inside of you. They curled up, finding your g-spot instantly.

“T-Toru! Toru!” Your body thrashed, legs tighter around his head as his fingers moved in a come hither motion. “Oooh! Fuck! Fuckin’ fuck!!”

“Cum~ cum for me.” Satoru moaned against your clit, sucking on it, nearly sending you off the bedding. “Good girl, make a mess, cum all over my face.”

His words, combined with his skillful tongue and fingers, sent you over the edge. You screamed his name as your back arched, eyes rolling into the back of your head. You came so hard you squirted all over Satoru’s perfect face, just like he had asked you to do. He growled eyebrows furrowed as he licked and sucked everything you offered him, not wanting to waste a single drop.

You were a wheezing, trembling mess of noodle limbs as Satoru’s fingers and mouth slowed their pace. He was easing you down from the most intense orgasm you’d ever had in your life. If that’s what he was able to do with just his fingers and tongue, what could he do with that fat dick of his?

Soft kisses trail back up your stomach and over your breasts before Satoru kisses you lazily. You kissed him back, your hands cupping his face as you both tasted each other. It was strangely and magically intimate, making you desperate for more.

“Sweetheart,” he hummed, brushing his thumb over your cheek, “are you okay? I didn’t send you to the pearly gates, did I?”

“No, I was just thinking.” He tilted his head, fingers gently brushing over your cheek.

“Thinkin’ about what?”

Your hand rested on top of his, your eyes half-lidded. “About how much I want to have sex with you.” Satoru’s back straightened as he choked on his breath. For the first time since you returned to the inn, his face shifted from flirtatious teasing into something more serious.

“Are you sure? You’re positive you want to do this?”

“I’m positive.” You kissed the palm of his hand. “I want to sleep with you.”

He breathed out a heavy sigh, pressing his forehead against yours. “Sweetie, just because I like you and that we did all this other stuff doesn’t mean we have to have sex.” The gentleness of his tone and sincerity had you melting into his touch. “I want to, god, I fuckin’ want it. But please know we don’t need to do it if you don’t want to.” Satoru had listened to you about how you didn’t need or want to have sex. He was taking your words to heart, which made your heart flutter.

“Toru, you may not need it, but I want it.”

“Okay, okay,” he groaned, kissing you desperately, “I need a condom. I-I—“ he gave an embarrassed chuckle, “I didn’t pack any since I didn’t think I needed one.”

You sat up, putting on his shirt, “Luckily for us, I got a party favor bag at the bachelorette party. One filled with all different kinds of condoms, penis candy, the whole works.” You tried to stand, only to be yanked down.

“I’ll get it. Where is it?” He yanked his shirt off of you. “Stay naked.”

“In the kitchen, it’s in my purse.”

Satoru slipped his boxers on and bolted out of the room. He returned two minutes later with your bag and a bowl of strawberries and whipped cream. He handed you the bowl before tossing his boxers off.

“I just thought we could use a snack!” He grinned, offering you a berry. “Keep our strength up.”

“Mhmm!” You took it, chewing it. “You’re so smart.”

“The strongest and the smartest!”

You opened your bag as you swallowed, and you froze as you stared inside of it. Seeing your reaction, Satoru cocked a bow as he held a strawberry between his teeth. His eyes followed yours, and the berry fell from his mouth. Inside your purse was money, lots and lots of money. Money you knew for a fact hadn’t been there a couple of hours before.

Satoru took the bag, pulling the stacks of money out while you searched the rest of your bag, ensuring your wallet and cards were still there. The entire time, Satoru was silent, his eyes darkening as he thumbed through the bills, counting them. You sighed in relief once you made sure everything you needed was still there before pulling your party favor bag out.

“Hey,” Satoru turned to you. You were met with a dark, unreadable expression. A look that you’d never seen before. “Why do you have ¥240,000 in cash?”

“I-I’m sorry?”

“¥240,000, you know, the same amount I charge for sex.” His voice was dark and full of pain. “Is this why you ‘want’ to have sex?” Grief flickered in his eyes as his jaw clenched.

You dropped the party bag, reaching for his hand and holding it. “T-Toru no! I-I wouldn’t do that! I wasn’t—” He yanked his hand away from you, rubbing it furiously over his undercut.

“Did you just want to fuck, to get over your trauma with some random guy? An escort? Pay me off like nothing happened?” He laughed coldly, his heartbreaking, shattering. “Because that’s my fucking job, so it’s okay.” He turned to watch you, see what you had to say.

“Satoru! I would never do that!” Your nose burned, and your eyes filled with tears as Satoru grabbed the money.

“Then why the fuck is the exact amount for a sex session with me in your purse? Tell me, why do you have this money?”

He waved it in front of your face. All you were capable of doing was looking between him and the money. You didn’t know what to say or how to respond. Which made you look guilty. Your silence had Satoru clenching his jaw as he ground his teeth together. He pushed himself off the bed, knocking the red berries over onto the white sheets as he put his clothes back on.

“I can’t fucking believe this.” He grabbed his cell phone, suitcase, and wallet. “Un-fucking-believable.”

You followed him, crushing some of the berries under your feet as you put your shirt on. “Satoru, wait!” He flung open the door to the room, rushing out as you slid on some shorts. “Toru!” You screamed, stumbling as you ran after him. “Satoru! Please, I didn’t do it!” You grabbed his arm, trying to stop him.

“Didn’t do what?!” He snapped back, yanking his arm away from you.”Didn’t put that much fuckin’ cash in your purse?! As if I believe that shit! I don’t even fucking know you! Like really know you! How do you expect me to believe you?!”

“I-I don’t know how it got there, Satoru! Please! Please believe me!”

He barked a bitter laugh, shaking his head as he stormed out. “Good luck with your stupid fucking wedding! Oh, and consider your orgasm as payment for the cancellation of my services!” You stood in the inn's corridor, tears running down your cheeks as you watched the best thing that ever happened to you walk away.

Life truly fucking hated you to the core.

Tag List: (AGE MUST BE IN BIO)

@arminloverlol @jamzywiththejam28 @gojoful @maskedpacific @ahseyy @kash77 @sadmonke @ari-maccha @sugurubabe @hyori2 @bluechocolatemint @itsinherited @dellappatca @therealestpussyeater @dead-at-tokyo @nvrgojover @drakenswifeyy @nealeart @yunho-leeknow @fire-child-kira kira @faeryminnyx @tqd4455 @harmonyflora @volkins181-blog @noukstmblr @lovley212 @stinkinstuffie @desihopelessromantic @witchbybirth @sonicsolos @lilbiguy @supsiii @rentheannihilator @bloopsstuff @pepepepepopopopo @pandoness @sw33cadav3r @rixo-19 19 @meguvmii @sxnkuna @mmeerraa @lemonintrovert01 @bunny-lily @kibananya

[k-hotchoisan]

Hello hello!!! I literally haven’t sent an ask in forever but your writing IS SOOOO GOOD 😮‍💨🤌🏾🤎🤎🤎🤎

Can I request 18. Or 22.👀👀😂

I mayhaps am a Mingi Stan lmfaoooo!

Congrats on getting 500 followers!!🫶🏾

22. Missionary with Seonghwa or Doggy with Mingi?

BACK TO BACK MINGI LETS FUCKIN GOOOOO thank you for ur well wishes and compliments baby 🩷 hehe enjoy mingi!

Warnings: smut, pwp, size training @ the beginning, backshots, unprotected sex, it’s mingi and his fat dick, cream pies, orgasms

Taglist: @bro-atz @diamond-3 @mcarebearsstuff @choisansplushie (message me to be in taglist!)

K’s 500 this or that Masterlist here!

When Mingi told you his cock was big, you totally did not believe him until you actually saw his cock. It was once when you sneaked into your shared bathroom with him because you left your phone at the edge of the sink. You slowly pushed the door open and the folding door bends, but Mingi is too busy rapping while letting the hot water run down his back, the steam fogging up the shower partition. You, at the perfect fucking timing, turn your head to your partner who was absolutely oblivious, and your eyes went straight to his cock. Even in the fogged up glass, you could still make out his shape—he’s definitely a grower from the looks of it. Before you realise what the fuck you were even doing, you manage to snap out of it in time before slipping out of the bathroom successfully.

And that’s how you ended up in the predicament of letting Mingi slowly inch into you and keeping his cock in your pussy as you adjust to it over the course of a little over a week. Mingi doesn’t know how he’s able to control himself because every time he enters his cockhead into you, he just wants to spilt you open so fucking badly, but he recognises that your comfort comes first, so he pushes his feral thoughts aside, often biting his cheek when he enters you from below, distracting himself by drawing circles on your thigh while he snuggled against the nape of your neck when the both of you cuddle.

He often whispers praises when you’re able to fit in another inch or two, sometimes teasing you before you slap his chest from behind but he wants to make sure you grow accustomed to his size.

He knows it’ll be worth every minute.

And he’s rewarded when on the ninth day, his cock sinks into you fully and his mind completely turns into mush the moment he’s buried into you to the hilt. He hears your whimpers and gasps as you clench around him once more and he kisses the nape of your neck while rubbing your thighs.

“Shit, that feels so good. You did so well for me, princess”, he groans, fighting the urge to start pounding into you, so he opts to squeeze your thighs instead. “How are you feeling?”

“Full. So full, babe”, you whine, wanting to contract the muscles on your abdomen from the pleasure, your palm pressing against the bulge pushing against your womb.

He gives you time to adjust once more, groaning from time to time when he feels you squeeze around him.

“You can start moving, Min”, you mutter, pressing your face into the pillow, your eyes fluttered shut as your grip on his arm around your waist tightens. He pulls out and you squeeze his arm, your thighs trembling from how fucking good he feels as his cock just drags against your cunt.

And he slowly starts fucking you, filling you right up, his cockhead always pressing against your cervix, while he listens to you slowly unravel through squeezes and moans. Mingi makes the mistake of looking down, and he swallows hard when he sees the way you’re creaming so fucking much on his cock.

“You’re gonna drive me insane babe”, he says, tightening his grip around you as he picks up the pace, stroking your thighs as he lifts it up so he enters you at a much deeper angle, one that makes fireworks explode beneath your eyelids. “Mingi…! Fuck! Oh god, you’re so big,”you sob, feeling your mind slowly break from the pleasure. The pressure has practically subsided, and now it’s just pleasure after pleasure whenever he fucks into you. Fuck, you’re gonna get disgustingly addicted to this. It doesn’t help your case that his moans are deep and it vibrates in your ears, you feel your cunt spit more slick—all the more it being easier for him to slide his cock in and out of you now, feeling his balls slap against your skin with every thrust.

Mingi hisses as he pulls out of you, before he shifts himself to go behind you, and you shift automatically with him, your ass perched up in the air while his hands are on your hips.

He pushes his cock in slowly and swallows hard when his cock glides into your sopping cunt so fucking easily. He almost loses his fucking mind.

“Look at you, princess. So well adjusted to my cock that it slides in so easily now”, Mingi hums, giving your ass a soft squeeze that draws a squeal from you, before he doesn’t give you a warning to start pounding into you once more. Your eyes are rolled back, your fingers holding onto the sheets for dear life as he abuses your cervix from this fucking insane position. You’re practically bouncing off his cock and the new angle completely breaking your mind, with only broken moans and cries leaving you every time he thrusts into you.

And Mingi fucking loves it.

The knot in your tummy tightens and drool is seeping past the corner of your lips as you can’t even find the energy to tell him properly that you’re about to cum.

“Cumming-“ you barely finish your sentence before your orgasm hits you, white spots filling your vision the pleasure shoots into your brain and cunt, squeezing the fuck out of Mingi’s cock. Your mind is somewhere else at this point, the only constant feeling is Mingi’s cock just shoved into you so fucking good.

“A-ah, fuck! Oh princess, you’re squeezing me so much-“ Mingi grunts his cock twitching so damn much as his thrusts become erratic. A long, drawn moan Mingi releases before he jerks into your cunt, warm cum filling you up as he doesn’t want to let go of your hips. His body tenses for a few more seconds, and he catches his breath before he slowly pulls out, watching the way the mixture of his load and yours drip out of your abused and fluttering hole, and drizzle downwards.

He releases his grip on your hips and your lower body slides down onto the bed. Mingi’s arm snakes around your waist as he pulls you close, his other hand brushing your hair back from your face as he presses a kiss on your forehead before you let yourself be taken by sleep.

[king-of-a-kingless-world]

GILYOUNG NOOOO also hehahhe meta references

i didnt look that the chapter title before but....yjh??

TOUGH KIDS. also jihye being like a big sister to them makes me happy

WAT. WHERE THE FUCK DID THEY GET A CAR?!??

AHHWHSHAHWHSSU THIS IS SO FUNNY WHAT THE HELL

their dynamic is everything to me. forget joongdok doksoo for the win.

YESSSS BE FUCKIN SELFISH LETS GOOOOO WANT TO CONTINUE LIVING WOOOO

iconic

"first things first, wheres bae?"

THEY SO SILLY :DDD i love

WHAT THE FUCK MAN. THOSE ARE MY KIDS I SWEAR TO GOD IM GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU YOU IDIOT PROTAGONIST BASTARD.

ohhh aight aight they good. also ive noticed these eps are kinda boring even tho big fight since its not kdj narrating. WHERE IS MY UNRELIABLE NARRATOR HE KNOWS HOW TO TELL THE STORY GOOD

HE SENDS OUT CONSTELLATION NOTIFS NOW THATS SICK

[xotrashratxo]

Nerdy Prudes Must Die Quotebook

Comment any I missed LMAO

⚠️NERDY PRUDES MUST DIE SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT⚠️

“I am only ONE MAN’s girl, and that man is JESUS CHRIST.” Grace Chastity

“SHUT UUUUUUPPPP.” Max Jagerman *Audience cackles* 

“THE ANSWER IS STILL NO….. by the way.” Max Jagerman

“RAAH” Max Jagerman and Grace Chastity

“the fucking BOW TIE KID???” Brenda the Cheerleader

“I know he’s RICH. But money isn’t everything! Looks are. “ Stacy the Cheerleader

“WAIFU MATERIAL” Richie Lipchitz

“SHE’S TOUCHING MEEE!! LUCKYYYY!” Ruth Fleming and Richie Lipchitz

“Woooow…. These toilets aren’t even in stalls! It’s better than I ever imagined!” Ruth Fleming

“Thats some cooool kid privilege right there.” Ruth Fleming OR Richie Lipchitz

“DESTROY HIM.” Grace Chastity

“God you suck, Grace.” Stephanie Lauter

“He’s made ALL OUR LIVES a living HECK.” Grace Chastity

“The most terrifying, HOTTEST bully in Hatchetfield” Grace Chastity

“BE COOL BEANS, KEEP THE BEANS COOL.” Grace Chastity

“We’ll fight sin with sin! Let the games begin!” ‘Nerdy Prudes’

“AM I READING AS GHOST OR LIN MANUEL MIRANDA” Peter Spankofvski

“YOU’RE FUCKING USLESS PETE.” (SO MANY PAUL REFERENCES.) Richie Lipchitz

“Ugh I gotta piss….” Max Jagerman

“Oh SHIT, where’s that creepy music coming from?” Max Jagerman

“Oh shit oh fuck it’s a fucking ghost!!!” Max Jagerman

“He thinks it’s real he’s just really fucking BRAVE.” Richie Lipchitz

“BOO HOO BITCH.” Max Jagerman

“I MAKE THE DEAD RUN IN FEAR! I AM GOD GOOOOO NIGHTHAWKS!” Max Jagerman

“Oh shit oh fuck I didn’t think there’d be a skele’in HERE!” Max Jagerman

“WOW… I uh… I thought you guys hated me. But uh, thanks! This was really great! No no no, this is the nicest thing anyone’s done for me!” Max Jagerman

“That was really special.” *bows* Max Jagerman

“And with MY luck, no one will even BOTHER making me their BITCH.” Ruth Fleming

“It was an act of god!” Grace Chastity

“Oh no she’s snapping again!” Richie Lipchitz

“Oh my asthmas back…” Richie Lipchitz

“I just cut off his nips.” Ruth Fleming FORESHADOWING??? 

“Steph, you can keep it. It would bring down my GPA.” Peter Spankofvski

“I’m tryna feel bad but it’s hard when everything is objectively better.” Peter Spankofvski

“Never thought I could open my locker without the fear running through me.” Richie Lipchitz

“N-IG-HT-AWE AWE- ks!” Everyone

“FUCK clivesdale.” Everyone, repeatedly. 

“FUCK YOU CLIVESDALE WE’LL KILL YOU!” Cheerleaders and Jocks

“Zeke! The fighting nighthawk!” Jason the Football player

“We support and love you, but you fuckin’ stink man!” Jason the Football player

“FUCK CLIVESDALE! FUCK EM STRAIGHT TO HELL!” Richie Lipchitz

“I love being alive!” Richie Lipchitz

“YA BITCH.” Max Jagerman

“Of course not! But you’ve lost everything.” Max Jagerman HIT SO HARD 

“Mama I’m cured!” Grace Chastity

“HWAELL they didn’t say!” Mark Chastity

“Alright ima need the 3 of you to shut the FUDGE up about Max Jagerman.” Grace Chastity

“SHUT. THE FUCK UP. RUTHY.” Stephanie Lauter

“People tell me to die everyday!” Ruth Fleming

“Don’t be ridiculous! Wait-“ Grace Chastity

“DAN!” Angry Adult Mob

“Suddenly the show is real upsetting!” Angry Adult Mob

“Fuckin’ transcendent…..!” Cop Corey

“I wanna remember who I YAAAMmmm…” Trevor, who’s only other credit is Barbecue Monologues Man 2 

“I turned 40 today.” *pours alcohol* Ruth Fleming in Barbecue Monologues

“Oh shit not Clivesdale!” Officer Shapiro

*heavy breathing* “…… thank you.” Peter Spankofvski

“MY DAD sells WOMEN’S SHOES.” Peter Spankofvski

“Dork at the beany’s counter has more balls than you.” Stephanie Lauter

“LEAVE ROOM FOR JESUS” Grace Chastity

“She’s bisexual and dead, where else could she be?” Grace Chastity, also GRACE DONT CALL ME OUT

“I’ve done horrible things! Like touching myself and lying to the police! I called god a son of a b word! Who am iiiiii…..” Grace Chastity

“Don’t comfort her, she’s fucking weird.” Stephanie Lauter

“KYUK KYUK KAH FUCK.” Max Jagerman

“I beg to differ, BITCH.” Max Jagerman

“I’ve got a gun.” Stephanie Lauter

“Are you a woman of god?” “Catholic.” “I’ll take that as a no.” Grace Chastity and Officer Shapiro (as a Catholic this is hilarious.) 

“I have no idea what I’m doing.” Peter Spankofvski (Me too Peter, me too.)

“My phone!” Stephanie Lauter

“WE DONT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOUR PHONE.” The Lords in Black

“Or fuck off!” The Lords in Black

“It’s you Steph. I’m into you.” Peter Spankofvski (IM CRYINGGGG)

“I just took a bullet for you bro!” Max Jagerman

“SO YOU DO KNOW THE BIBLE?” Grace Chastity

“But Jesus never threw a football like you Max.” Grace Chastity

“SHUT YOUR MOUTH HOLE SPANKOVSKI. I wanna hear this.” Max Jagerman

“FUCK. YEAH.” Max Jagerman

“GASP. That’s NASTY. I like it.” Max Jagerman

“WHAT. THE FUCK. IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW.” Stephanie Lauter (That’s so me, Steph.)

“GRACE IS HAVING SEX WITH A FUCKING GHOST!” Peter Spankofvski

“I paid the price. Now fuck off!” *Spins* Grace Chastity

“WHAT ARE YOUUU-“ Max Jagerman

“You’re in my world now. Bitch.” One of the Lords in Black (Pokey I think???) 

“I…. Am gonna get some fucking coffee.” Officer Shapiro

“Did you guys know JASON goes to my CHURCH?” Grace Chastity

Total quotes: 85

[cocoa-rococo]

in terms of rare pairs, i kinda love the ship of boom-boom and roy, honestly? it's funny to me. definition of Intricate Rituals, like.

roy is a bit of a fighter to most people, and he definitely enjoys a brawl every now and then, but the problem with being near the top of the pecking order means that not many folks are interested in duking it out with you, either because they like their job or they want their muscles and bones to be in working condition.

so when bowser hires boom and pom to work for him, roy's "!!!" at the prospect of a potential sparring buddy. sidles up to him with the offer for a wrestling match -- low-key, no pressure, and just for fun -- and he's delighted when a normally quiet boom agrees, because hell yeah, fight partner, let's fuckin' gooooo.

he's hyped the whole day, and when he tells others why, no less than six different people all tell him, politely as they can, to maybe? reconsider this? just a bit? since they heard boom is kind of strong. roy ain't hearing it (he wrestles with morton all the time, he's fiiiine), and he's practically bouncing when he gets to the ring and boom's there.

roy is braced for a fun match. he is not braced for getting STEAMROLLED in two minutes, tops.

boom, quiet as ever, walks away once he's done because he has work to do. roy, learning some fascinating things about himself in real time, immediately hops up after him, shouting for a rematch and also his phone number.

[emmerrr]

WIP wednesday!

zombie apocalypse au let's gooooo:

He stayed with them for three days and nights. Three nights keeping watch with Ronan while his brothers slept. Three days watching their backs and trusting them to watch his, helping them scavenge for food and supplies and shelter, helping them fight through hordes of the dead. You can learn a lot about someone in three days. A lot, but not everything. Adam, his name was. Adam Parrish. “Come with us,” Ronan said on the morning of the fourth day. Adam was already packing up to leave. “I can’t.” “You’ll die on your own.” Adam shrugged. “Maybe. Maybe not.” Ronan fiddled with the leather bands lining his wrist. “I don’t understand what’s so important, given all this.” He gestured vaguely out the window, towards the deserted streets. “I have–” Adam stopped, sighed, zipped up his bag. He finally looked at Ronan for the first time since the conversation had started. “There’s something I need to do.” Ronan snorted, even though nothing about this was funny. “Jesus, Parrish, that’s such a non-fuckin’-answer.” A strange grief had already started to gnaw at him, deep inside. It was absurd and frustrating; he’d only known Adam a few days. Damn zombie apocalypse, fucking with his emotions. His eyes roved over Adam, trying to memorise every little piece of him. He let them linger on Adam’s face. There was something very set and stubborn about his jaw, and Ronan knew he couldn’t be talked or bullied into staying. Whatever he needed to do needed to be done, and it needed to be done alone. “Will you at least tell me where you’re going?” “What does it even matter?” “If it really doesn’t matter then you would just tell me.” Adam’s mouth worked a couple of times, counterpoints starting and then stopping before they ever made it out. Ronan knew, though, that the simple explanation was just that Adam didn’t trust him not to follow. “How about this,” Adam said. “Tell me which way you’re heading. I’ll catch up.” Ronan arched an eyebrow. “You’ll catch up?” “Yeah. After.” There was no cell-service. No way to get in touch if something went wrong and they had to change course. No way of either party knowing if something had happened to the other. A million and one variables stood in the way of a reunion. “Alright,” Ronan said. He held out his pinky. “So catch up.” Adam hesitated, but just for a moment. He hooked his own pinky around Ronan’s. “I will. I promise.”

hopefully i can finish this in time for halloween, that's my aim!

[astarionsilverbough]

Hi. Hey. It’s lit anal anon. Just the summary had me excited for this one let’s gooooo

As always: @ cazador KILL URSELF!!!!!

Astarion’s animosity to the guardian is so fascinating to me but i love the idea. Do NOT steal his mommy!!! Rude!!!

Love astarion in halsin’s shirt I’m a big proponent of Let Astarion Wear Long Shirt. Lets him be cozy but also a bit of privacy which is important for him, imo

Halsin fight. H. He’s so. I’m. Oh baby

YOU MAKE ME HOLY ahhhhh. Ugh. Star praying for the gods to bless him with no reply and then in turn blessing someone with no demand….

Honestly the entire monastery w astarion is so… it’s almost mocking. Why was he not worth any light until now?

Excited to see Raphael as always peekin in at the end and I can’t WAIT for him and astarion!!!!

HEY BABEYYYYY

Class is in session!!!!!

Astarion’s animosity makes sense to me bc he’s had so many mfs try and manipulate him and like. Yeah he wants power but the real mistake of the guardian was absolutely choosing Astraea as a visage - worst option

The mere thot of Star in just a big tunic of Halsin’s drives me feral I - I can’t

AND YES YES YES U GET IT THEIR LOVE IS JUST- their love IS the divinity it’s going to change the fuckin world!!!! Period!!!!!

Oh darling he was worth the light! He was entrenched in shadows too deep for Lathander to reach, shadows not even Shar would touch (they were demon-born, as it said in the chapter) and in DnD the gods aren’t truly supposed to interfere with mortal happenings even when it comes to their chosen. Lathander,,,,, has already broken that rule.

All shall be revealed I promise 💕

THE BUDDY COP MOVIE CHAPTER IS UPON US!!!!! I’m so excited lmao their dynamic takes me the fuck out

As always such a joy seeing a comment from you my dear ilu 3000 💕💕💕

[sparkedblaze]

PART 3 LET'S GOOOOO

*sigh*

Parts 1 and 2

@raggedy-albert tagging you bc you yelled at me ;-;

T/W cursing, talk of violence

"WHERE DOES IT SAY A GUY CAN'T CATCH A BREAK WHY SHOULD YOU ONLY TAKE WHAT YOU'RE GIVEN WHY SHOULD YOU SPEND YOUR WHOLE LIFE LIVIN' TRAPPED WHERE THERE AIN'T NO FUTURE EVEN AT SEVENTEEN BREAKIN' YOUR BACK FOR SOMEONE ELSE'S SAKE"

THOSE LYRICS HIT SO FUCKING HARD MY DUDES

JEREMY JORDAN'S VOCALS HOLY SHIT

HIS FACIAL EXPRESSIONS

MOVEMENTS

HIS A C T I N G

"I'll be there"

"Just be real is all I'm askin'."

"I GOT NOTHIN IF I AIN'T GOT SAAAAANTAAAAAAAAA FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

That's the end of act 1. I only just finished act 1. I pause it too much to type everything out. And also I napped earlier and it felt g r e a t

Finch laying across the table

"Just ask a fish in the desert"

LES SITTING UNDER THE TABLE

"Why do old people talk?" "To prove they's still alive"

Mush's eyeroll

Squeeze Elmer's shoulder

FRONT PAGE?!

IAIN'S SMILE FUCK HIS SMILE IS SO DAMN CUTE

"WOULD YA LOOKIT THAT'S ME!"

"WHERE'S ME?! WHERE'S ME?!"

"I WON'T BE LAST IN LINE FOR THE TUB TONIIIGHT"

Tommy snatching the pape from Davey

"There's a headline even Elmer could sell"

HENRY'S LAUGH/REACTION TO ^

"JACK DON'T RUN FROM NO FIGHT"

"Take it down shortstop"

"FOR JUMPIN' JACKS SAKE CAN YOU STOW THE SERIOSITY LONG ENOUGH TO JUST DRINK IN THE MOMENT"

HIS LIL PUNCHIES

Albert's look of disgust at being touched without permission

"I'M FAYHMUS"

Henry: So?

"When ya fayhmus tha woild is ya erster."

😕 Wot?

????

"Ya erster"

"What are you saying???"

"EY YAKNOW YA FANCY CLAM WIT THA POIL INSIDE"

"O Y S T E R"

"HOW MUCH DOES BEIN' FAYHMUS P A Y?!"

"U DON'T🚫 NEED MONEY 💲 WHEN UR FAYHMUS😎 THEY GIVES YA WHATEVA YA WANT G R A T I S"

HEARING THE FIRST LIKE CHORDS (?) OF KONY IS THE BEST BC KONY IS THE BEST SONG IF YOU CAN'T TELL BY HOW LONG THIS POST ALREADY IS P MUCH ONLY WITH KONY THINGS

RACE AND KATH DOING THE PLAYFUL HIT THINGS

WHY DID THEY CHANGE RACE'S LINE?! IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE FOR ROMEO TO WANT A PERMANENT BOX AT THE SHEEPSHEAD RACES

"Oh no"

*tucks emotional support stick under arm* "knOBBin WIt AlL DA MuCKeTY MuCks I'M BLowIN MY doUGH AND gOIN dELuxE"

Statue of Liberty

The obscene amount of times Racer sticks his tongue out

Raver ruffling Mush's hair

"AMSCRAY PUNK"

"BUNCHA WET NOODLES" "PULITZER'S POODLES"

Davey and Ike playing dogs even after everyone else drops it

EVERY SINGLE FACE IN THE POODLES SCENE

Lemme just (bad quality but I can’t clip it ;-;)

LIKE ALBERT WTF ARE YOU DOING???

JOJO MY MAIN MAN WHY

RACER THAT SMILE CREEPY AS HELL STOP

DAVEY AND IKE, AS STATED ABOVE

MIKE WTF

ELMER LOOKING ABSOLUTELY DONE

"LET'S GET DRUNK" 😃 Y E A H "NOT WITH LIQUOR" 😧

Clap

Hop

TAPPITY TAPPITY TAPPITY TAP MAKE ME STIM SO HARD ILY

FINCH AND HIS SUSPENDERS

EVERYONE GETTING OFFENDED AT GETTING ONE UPPED

TAPPITY TAP TAPPITY TAP TAPPITY TAP TAPPITY TAP

KICK

SPIN

BUMP BUMP

BUTTONS'S BROOM

EVERYONE GETTING SPOONS

"A L R I G H T RED"

SMALLS

ILY

SPOON FIGHT

EVERYONE JOINING IN

"GOT EM"

CHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCCCKCKCKCCH

TAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAP

*shoving Kath out of chair*

*cleans off ground with hat*

BOOOOOOOOOOOOO

THE WAY THEIR LITTLE ARM THING TICKLES MY BRAIN

Albert: Ehhhh Albert: Oh shit that's actually p good

THE CHOREOGRAPHY IS SO GOOD

"LOOK AT ME I'M THE KING OF NEW YORK"

"THIS IS GONNA MAKE BOTH THE DELANCEYS PEE IN THEIR PANTSIES"

ELMER'S FACE

FINCH'S LIL FACE BANDAGE

THE SHOT WHEN THEY SING "GUTS AND GLORY"

SPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN

TKTKTKTKTKTKTTKTTKTKTTKTKTKTKT

"OF NEW YORK!!!"

SEEING THEM ALL OUT OF BREATH AND GRINNING AND IK THEY HAD SO MUCH FUN

SMALLS

Point

Clapclap clap

ROMEO AND FINCH HAVING SO MUCH FUN

FUCK WAIT NOW IT'S LETTER FROM THE REFUGE

"Dear Jack..."

I paused it.

I don't wanna watch anymore ;-;

I wanna pretend they're all still happy and tappin' around Jacobi's

"Guess I wasn't much help yest'aday"

"Oh, yeah, Jack This is Crutchie by the way"

Andrew Keenan Bolger is just so fuckin good

"So far they ain't brung us no fooood..." lol

"Maybe though... heh heh... Not tonight..."

"We miiiight just go..."

Definitely NOT Ike sleeping next to him SHHHHHHHHHHHHH

"Damn this place."

"Your friend Your best friend Your brother Crutchiiiieeeee"

Albert Some other redheaded newsie: "Enough already!"

Everyone looking for Jack

MISS MEDDA I FUCKING LOVE YOU

Jack pretending to not be crying

"You're a gem"

"Does it matta?"

"If you're running away, nowhere is ever the right place"

"How about lettin' a pal know you're alive?!" Jack: Ffs 🙄

"Why don't I leave you with your boyfriend?"

"YaevathinkIdidntwannabefound"

"A B O V E THE FOLD"

Bap

Smack

They're so close just lean forward a lil and give him a lil smooch

Poke

:|

"JUST LIKE I SAID"

"We're inevitable"

"Fame is one intoxicating potion"

"Yes he did and then he died :)"

Kath's lil supportive nod

"Smart enough to get you committed to a padded room"

JACK'S ART

"Lighten up, no one died."

LES'S LIL WORRIED FACE WHEN JACK TELLS THEM ABOUT CRUTCHIE

"If I wanted a sermon I would show up for church."😠

"Tell me how quitting does Crutchie any good."

"Exactly."

"Here's how it goes-"

T E E T H

"Jackie think about it"

JACK HOW WERE YOU EXPECTING TO MAKE IT IN SANTA FE WITHOUT KNOWING WHY A SNAKE RATTLES

"poor GUYS head IS SPINNING"

"Whywouldhesendforthegoonsanentirearmydozensofgoonsplusthecopsand-"

Kath’s amazement at Jack admitting being wrong

ETHAN’S DUMB FACE 😭😭😭

“Stay on track”

“AND WEVE GOT JACK”

Spit shake

Davey being disgusted

“And I’ve got a date!!!”

Kath being nervous asf to confront her dad

“The newsies are striking against… me”

Kath trying to melt into her chair

I’m gonna kick Snyder

*WHACK* “WHAT GOOD WOULD QUIET DO ME”

Kath’s panic when Jack shows up

“Ask and ye shall be received”

S i t

“Good aftanoon bois”

“Aaand which Jack Kelly is this? The charismatic union organizer? Or the petty thief, and escaped convict?”

“Which one gives us more in common? Eh?” *wiggles finger*

“Crowwlin”

“Want i should save ya a spot on the bill?”

B o y

“When New York wakes up to-“ 😗🧐 “-front page photos of our rally”

“Even some reporters”

THE BIG REVEAL

JACKS FACE

KATHS FACE

“Yeeeeeessss”

Why does Pulitzer hit his desk so much? Take a Xan and calm down my guy

I’m gonna kick Snyder pt 2

THE DELANCEYS CATCHING AND HOLDING JACK SO HE CANT GET OUT DHSGWHMFKE

Morris looking 100% done with Pulitzers shit

“They know I don’t care” 🙂

“Tossed 🫴🏼➰ to the rats🐀 Will they ever be able to thank you enough?💅🏻”

BOTTOM LINE REPRISE

I like that he calls Jack ‘Cowboy’ in this song as a little homage to the original, but (bc I saw Livesies first) I was so confused when I watched it at first.

So ik they only use the newsies to move sets bc they can go fairly unnoticed by the audience when they’re going on and off stage. But just the idea that even if they aren’t actually there with him, them still do everything for Pulitzer is a statement to me

Morris hopp of stairrrrrrs

*bonk bonk bonk* “That there… is firm”

Jacks lil tantrum

“NEWSIES NEED OUR HELP TODAYYY”

HELLO SPOT LOML

TOMMY BRACCO 😍😍😍 (congrutalions on his engagement 😭😭)

THE LIL GAP IN HIS TEETH IS EVERYTHING TO ME

Reasons I love Brooklyn (from left to right:

Graves

Myron

Spot

Hotshot

Bart

Ty for coming to my Ted Talk

“We’ll getcha payback with some PAY BACK”

Speepy Jack

Spot’s dramatic ass taking his hat off

“BOROUGH WHAT GAVE ME BOITH”

Everyone else hurriedly taking off their hats

“FRIENDLIEST PLACE ON OITH”

“PAYUS A VISIT AND SEE WHAT WE MEANS”

“AND WHEN YA DOOOOOO”

“WE’LL KICK YA HALFWAY TO QUEENS”

Definitely totally Jack Kelly on that printing press and definitely NOT Devin Lewis

The entirety of the boroughs introducing themselves

PFFPTTHHH

“WE IS HEEEEEERRRREEEE”

Davey’s first spit shake without wiping it off 🥹

MISS

MEDDA

LARKIN

Bart’s lil hops 🥺🥺

THE CROWD CONTROL

Eyebrows

Jack Jack Jack Jack

Everyone smacking signs against the ground

“Youwannabetalkedtolikeanadultstartactinlikeone”

Racer’s smile 😭😭😭

“That’s was a lousy thing to do” Everyone else: HELL YEAH IT WAS

Elmer’s Graves’ smile

Pulitzer

S H O V E

“He’s a sellout”

JACK RAISING HIS HAND AT LES

“YOU'RE A TRAITOR JACK”

DAVEY'S DEVASTATION

“HESAIDYOUCOULDGOTHROUGHMYSTUFF?!”

Kath plz be more considerate

THE

FUCKING

PROJECTIONS

"A little different from where you were raised?" s n a t c h

"I DO NOT THINK YOU ARE ONE TO TALK ABOUT TURNIN' ON FOLKS"

"Ya ffffffffADDA"

"a ffffffist in ya mouth"

Finger wiggle

Paper wiggle

"good for you"

"The children's crusade..."

"Oh no"

"Ya just gonna take back lAta"

Gotta be honest, Something to Believe In makes me so irrationally angry. Their whole relationship feels forced and only there for the romance grab :)

I feel like they could've done a lot with Kath's character without making her fall for Jack

Like it makes sense that Jack would feel things for her. She represents this freedom he's never gotten to have. She helped get the newsies a better hand in life. Granted it isn't perfect, but it's a hell of a lot better. Not to mention all the newsies have the emotional range of a speck of dust.

Kath, on the other hand, seems very in tune with her emotions. She knows how she feels about Jack during Watch What Happens, and I personally don't think much changed between them between that and StBI.

I think it would've been far better to have Jack, this emotionally ignorant artist pining after Kath, the 'sure of herself' journalist helping make a better life for his family, despite the repercussions of going against her father, who was originally in it just to further her career but has grown to care for and love all of these kids.

Have I mentioned the projections?

I also haven't mentioned this at all, but I love the newsies that push in Jack's 'penthouse' and just sit at the bottom of the set pieces.

Bump

SHOVE

Also seeing Kath deck Jack right here (bc she doesn't know how to respond to him trying to kiss her) would be so much better than a kiss

Don't ask me why, just trust me

Their hug at the end of it though

IS IT NORMAL TO KNOW WHICH NEWSIE IS GOING UP THE STAIRS BY THEIR SILHOUETTE?

"We could hold a hoedown in here and no one would be the wiser"

"Hey!" "Hm?" "It's good to have you back again"🥰 "Shaddup."

BillDarcy

Y'ALL THEY TRADED VESTS AND THEY WANT US TO BELIEVE EITHER OF THESE BOYS ARE STRAIGHT???

Darcy's disgust

"B B Bill. So I suppose you're the son of William Randolph Hearst." "And proud to be a part of your revolution"😃

Nicholas Masson rolling his sleeves up-

Can we talk about how perfect a Javey first kiss would've been at "we ain't come this far to lose" without Kath being there

"HEEEEERRRREEE THEY COOOOMMMMEEE"

Tommy Bracco

Albert's lil nod

Smalls doing nothing but wiggling that bolt

look look

"BLEED EEEEM"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FREEDOM"

Spot doing nothing but standing and looking intimidating

WHACK

HENRY HELP SMALLS

Ty 🥰

ALL THE ANGLES THROWING PAPES

"TEN THOUSAND FISTS"

LAYERS

LAYERING VOCALS IS MY KRYPTONITE

A;SLDKFHAPSHGPAIUSFGP

BAM "THERE'S CHANGE COMIN ONCE AND FOR ALL"

THE FUCKING KEY CHANGE A;LSDGHPAOUSFGPANS I SCREAM. I CRY. I FOAM AT THE MOUTH. I LOVE THIS SHOW

Stomp

"WELL I'M SORRY-I AM-"

"Sorry"

"Such language"

"MORNIN GENTS"

hat

I didn't know you could throw money in an inherently queer-coded way but here we are

The way Jack sits in the chair and gets confy

"Oh, we're your loyal employees"

"Oooohhhh"

"WHAT'S THAT MAKE YOU"

Ben Fankhauser

The chorus starting up again and Jack just 👀

Spot taking off his hat again

wavey wavey wavey

Race 'cheers'ing with his cigar

"So what's your next move"

MISS

MEDDA

"Joseph Joseph Joseph"

Hummy hummy hummy

"Bully"

Shakes hand "My god"

"I'd do it with a SMILE"

"A soft head"

"He doesn't do happiness does he?"

HANNAH

HANNAH ILY

"I'm young. I ain't stupid"

"I GOT CONTITUENTS WITH A LEGITIMATE GRIPE"

Wiggle finger

"iT's a CoMprOMIse WE cAn All LiVE WiTH"

Spit shake

"andtheWorldwillknow"

TOMMY

FINCH

RACE BUTTONS ALBERT ROMEO I LOVE ALL OF YOU

THEIR SIGNS

HUGS FOR EVERYONE

Why does every actor who plays Roosevelt look exactly the same????

"Ya miss me?!" YES😭

Davey swallowing his laugh when Crutchie calls Roosevelt 'your highness'

"Don't sweat it, gov"

"tarantulas?"

"And we're family" YEAH YOU ARE BABY

"show me that backseat I been hearing so much about"

Albert's gimme gimme gimme motion

"G U Y S"

Race's lil hop

"I been I been BUSY"

smacksmacksmack

"CARRYIN THE BANNER MAN TO MAN"

"HERE'S THE HEADLINE"

Jeremy Jordan counting his steps

"WHOO"

"OF NEW YORK"

*incoherent shouting* "NEWSIES OF NEW YOOOORK AYOOOOO"

Tommy being slightly off

Kick

Spin

Flip

Clap clap

CHAZ WOLCOTT IS SO FKING TALENTED

shrug

BART

slide

I DON'T REMEMBER HIS NAME BUT THE GUY WHO PLAYS DARCY DOING FLIPS WITH NICK MASSON (WHO PLAYS BILL)

Specs falling when they do the lil cartwheels

All their lil hops and bows

THE DELANCEYS HANDSHAKE

AKB

Kara Lindsay being a lil early

JJ almost eating it

HYPEHYPEHYPEHYPE- Race, Mike, Ike, and Spot

JJ boogeyin

Kara and Ethan boogeyin

Kara and Jordan hugging

Nick swinging from the set

Ben and Sky doing a handshake and Ben almost knocking Sky over going for a chest bump when Sky wanted a hug

I DID IT

I FINISHED IT WITH ENOUGH ROOM

I HONESTLY THOUGHT KONY WOULD MAKE ME NEED AT LEAST ONE MORE, BUT I THINK STBI COUNTERED IT

[sonic-spirit]

Okay, let's fuckin gooooo!!!

I'm seeing if I can do a blog post every day to try and get myself through more of that wall of awful brain garbage that's been gumming things up inside me. I have a lot of topics I've been wanting to talk about, and stories I've been wanting to record, and, yanno. The only way out is through.

It was my first day off I haven't shared with one of my mates in awhile, so that ended up shaping how I approached the day. I started a bit of a decluttering project, since we do have a lot of stuff with no homes right now. I'm not willing to mess with my mates' stuff, but in the two years since moving all the way out here my hyper pared-down stuff has grown, and I was definitely due for some re-organizing and looking it all over for stuff I don't want or need anymore. A big part of the project today was breaking down the variety of little caches I'd developed in a few spots in the apartment and keeping like things together, especially toys and art supplies. I have some big traditional media projects I've been gearing up for, and the more ready things are to get started, the more convenient I make my setups to hit the ground running, the more likely I am to actually do them.

Talking about that stuff was supposed to help me ease into writing about one of the more emotionally charged things I've been meaning to write about, ^_^;; but if I segue into talking about Otherkin stuff from decluttering, the post's kinda gonna feel uneven to me. So, okay, let's talk about, as I have it in my notes:

The Time I Drove Across the Country 3 Times to Save My Life

I feel guilty about looking at it as anything but a tragedy, millions of people died, and who knows how many more were permanently disabled, and so many could have been okay if the people in power hadn't been so eager to throw them to the mercies of an uncaring disease. But, selfishly, COVID saved my life.

My mental health still isn't great. There are always ups and downs, and I've been under a lot of financial stress that's been causing me to spiral in a lot of other ways again. But before COVID it was so, so much worse. I wasn't still living with my abusive parents at the time, but I was working for them, and still beholden to them socially and financially. And I was...loosing resiliency. Going to cons and spending time with my friends wasn't...well, if wasn't enough to offset how the rest of it was wearing on me, dealing with my abusers, doing a job I hated and where I constantly felt like I was failing, and I was losing ground. I'd been suicidal for years and years, and I didn't think I had much fight left in me. I'd also been trying to escape, with interruptions to triage myself to keep functioning, for even longer. I was tired, and I was getting desperate.

COVID bought me more time.

Everything going into shutdown was bad. And let me be perfectly clear, shutting down was the right thing to happen, there were so, so many people who should not have died. But for the first time in ten years, I got some distance from my abusive parents. I didn't have to go into a job and see them all the time, I didn't have to go over to their house and play nice and cow-tow to them every week.

For the first time in so, so long, I got a reprieve.

It was still hard, I missed my friends, and the stress of living under the threat of a pandemic was huge. But I finally started to be able to put myself back together again. Just a little bit. And that made all the difference in the world.

And then, in the heart of all this uncertainty, one of my really, really good friends who I'd fallen out of contact with a few years prior reached out, and we reconnected. We talked, and talked, and one thing led to another, and eventually we started dating.

My parents had eroded most of the COVID protections at my job by this time, having us back working in the office, opening the office to the public, and things were quickly becoming untenable for me again. My friends, in person and long distance, did their best to help. As much as I would let them see how deeply I was struggling.

Then came the Thanksgiving trip.

I'd been very resistant to flying to Florida with my family in the Thanksgiving of a pandemic. But my mom had bartered with me. If I went on this trip, they wouldn't force me into going on the Christmas trip. -_- And how could I say no to a deal like that. Look, I didn't have many options, and again, I was beholden to them. I could only fight so hard. So, I went. And it was worse than I had even expected.

Never masking in a state with abysmal infection numbers, never taking advantage of outside seating at restaurants, eating out for every meal was bad enough. The endless refrain of Fox News and fascistic dogwhistles put me over the edge. I knew they wanted who I really was dead. But...living inside it...I was done. I needed to escape, by any means necessary. My friends were alarmed and rightly so. I redoubled my efforts to find another job as means of escape, and determined I would not do this ever again. I would give myself a deadline to get out.

When my relationship started with my mate, I changed my focus to jobs in the San Jose area. And in February, I finally had an opportunity. Two jobs wanted me to come in and interview, and I'd already blocked out a long weekend for that year's virtual FurSquared con. Instead, I loaded myself and my 16-year-old kidney diseased kitty, and everything I though I couldn't do without in case I decided to simply never come back, and drove the 3,000 miles from Illinois to California in 3 days.

It was ROUGH. I didn't give myself a very reasonable timeline to get there, and driving 10-hour or more days, going from cat-friendly hotel to cat-friendly hotel was A Lot. Giving Zi her subcutaneous fluids in hotel rooms was a wild experience. But eventually, we made it. I met up with my mate, changed clothes and ran out for an interview...^_^;; which I actually missed because I'd taken too long to get there. But spending the night with my mate and their partner, feeling safe with them...they offered to let me stay, and I tearfully admitted that I didn't want to leave.

I almost just stayed. I wanted to, badly. But I still had a house to get out from under, and I needed to go back and sell it. I went to the second interview, where neither of us impressed one another, and drove Zi and myself back, escape plan in gear.

My house was a horrifically cluttered mess when I called the realtor who'd helped me buy it and asked him to help me sell, but he was still generous when he came by to talk with me. The market was good, he told me, and places were getting sold even before they were properly listed. I signed the papers, and started getting to work on paring everything down and packing.

It quickly became clear that storage or moving things or Uhauls would be prohibitively expensive for me, easily over $1,000 for the cheapest options. Since I would be moving without a job set up, and without any form of income when I left, the only reasonable option was to only bring what I could fit in my car, and donate or sell the rest. It was hard, emotional work, and I had to make a lot of hard decisions (and a lot of use of Facebook Marketplace for the first time), but I made it happen, and by mid April, I finally left.

I had a celebratory going away party the night before leaving, where we drank and had fun, and enjoyed one another's company. And then my friends came and helped me with the last of the junk I hadn't managed to get through the next morning. They held me while I had a panic attack over telling my parents I was leaving, and helped me to be able to go.

In the end, the people who really knew me, who really loved me, saved me.

Finally, I headed out with Zi, deciding to drive...less stupid hours this time. I limited myself to 8 hour driving days, and just did a few more days. Memorably, one morning when I was trying to get us out the door and checked out, I couldn't find Zi. I searched that hotel room for my kitty for a good half hour before I finally found her--she'd somehow managed to open a drawer, climb inside, and shut herself in!

I'd expected to feel freed, relieved. I'd expected to feel a weight off myself immediately. But mostly, what I'd felt at first was numb grief. I was so tired. I was glad to be going, excited to be with people I loved. But I still felt bad. Everything they would have thought of the situation echoed in my mind, and it hurt. I knew I was right to go. I knew there was no way they'd ever stop hurting me. I knew I needed to get away. But their words, of how selfish I was, echoed inside me.

It's still hard sometimes. Abuse echoes still. But I'm so, so fucking relieved to be out. And so, so fucking grateful to be with my partners.

[baerryjj]

*knock knock* BAERRY OPEN UP! I BROUGHT NACHOS!

1. You get to marry one fictional character – who is it? (Not Malenia, I challenge thee)

5. You only get 3 words to describe yourself – what are they?

9. What’s your weirdest pet-peeve?

16. If you could have any job in the world, what would it be?

20. What’s the nicest thing you’ve ever heard about yourself? What do you WANT to hear about yourself?

LET'S GOOOOO!!! IVE GOT THE CAPRISUNS!!

1. You get to marry one fictional character – who is it? (NOT MALENIA CHALLENGE)

Dammit. YOU'RE PULLIN MY DICK HERE MAN

Mkay well other than Malenia? Probably Ambessa from Arcane. Bejezuz fuckin christ have you seen that woman? INSTANT MARRIAGE no questions asked. Also my take on Loretta. Been simping a lot for her lately

5. You only get 3 words to describe yourself – what are they?

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh DUMB, UNHINGED AND ODD

9. What’s your weirdest pet-peeve?

Having my cheeks squished. Very odd, I know, but it happens . SO. MUCH. Apparently my cheeks are just stress balls for some people and it triggers my flight or fight (usually fight)

16. If you could have any job in the world, what would it be?

Game art designer/Concept artist. OOOO do I love, LOVE concept art and the process behind every visual in video games, be it 3d or 2d. It would a be a dream to do art as a job, though in this economy? It's looking rough. And I severely doubt my ability to stand out in this industry LMAOOOO

20. What’s the nicest thing you’ve ever heard about yourself? What do you WANT to hear about yourself?

Mmm well I've been told I'm a pretty peaceful person to be around. I bring comfort so some and that makes me happy. Though what I wanna hear? Just that I'm not forgettable. Feel like Im constantly fighting in order for people to remember I exist (coughs) irls (coughs)

Anyways this turned sad all of a sudden uhhhh WOOOOOO THANKS FOR ASK BUDDY!!!!!

[old-daemon-farts]

Flight and Fight

Not sure if I've mentioned it here before or not and I'm bored and tired and avoiding sleep so lets gooooo.

Much like my fitting daemon forms I am the kind of person to freeze and run when given the chance when conflict arises. Snakes like to appear bigger than they are when threatened and cornered and rabbits just fuckin run for the hills as far as I've ever seen. Of course, plenty of animals are like this. It's very much survival 101. But every animal also has a breaking point. A snake will bite if there is no escape and even a rabbit can cause quite a good amount of pain with a good swift kick.

Talk about nightmares and sleep paralysis under the cut

Last night I had another nightmare involving ghost/demons/monstrous things that I could not see or touch but they torment, haunt, and mean me harm. I scream but my voice doesn't work and all I feel is incredible pain in my throat. My sleep paralysis strikes again. I'm terrified, cornered and like any animal left caged and terrified the last thing I can do is fight. So having reached my breaking point I bare my teeth, keep screaming, and charge at every dark corner daring them to show themselves because I'll fuck them up. That I'm tired of being tormented and tired of trying to run.

While I did this I felt like Cayde and I were experiencing it together. I felt like the wolverine, hunched over and snarling. It was still an awful, upsetting experience and I was hysterical with a sore throat, but while I felt like a wolverine charging I also felt invincible. The fact that the wolverine came to mind makes me smile because I think it was Cayde also coming to my rescue. Co-front, shifting, whatever. We were a single unit trying to get through this experience. I still woke up crying, heart racing, and my throat on fire. But it's nice standing up to my demons and feeling like I could win for once. I have chronic nightmares and generally stressful dreams. It's rare to have a nice dream and when I do they are weird as fuck with still some flavor of stress. It's just what comes with the territory and my sleep paralysis is nasty when it happens, which is also good because it stops me from yelling in real life but sucks feeling it in my dream because it adds to my terror. I know I've broken down like this before in dreams, threatening what was haunting me instead of running. But it's rare, and while still painful to experience it's also soothing to know that I can always fight back, even when scared and feeling cornered with no escape, I can fight. I'm not helpless.

Plus having a weird feral shift is just fucking liberating and it needs to happen more.

[aforgottenmercenary]

💍 + Reverse (LETS A FUCKIN GOOOOO)

Send a 💍for my muse to respond to a proposal from yours! send +reverse or "did you just propose?' for my muse to propose to yours.

100% approving the fuck out of this!)

"I asked you if you want to marry me."

He cleared his throat a bit seeing the troops marching and cleaning up from the battle they won, securing this town as the Mercenary and his most cherished comrade and friend. It was drawn out but they worked so well as a pair. Her magic and healing stabilized him as he acted like the spiked barricade for enemy forces. The feeling creeped into his mind as it all settles.

"I'm gonna level with you...before I ran into you again, I had nothing...and on some levels, I still feel like I have nothing to gain or prove but....but finding you again made me realize that the smallest kindness, or just an act to help....and us traveling and fighting together brings me a sense of joy...then the more we traveled, learned, loved...it gives me hope that if I did leave this nothing life of fighting and killing."

Getting up from his chair, he walked over to her, rough hands grasping and holding onto her soft, small and warm fingers.

"You...give me something no other person had ever gifted me. You have given me hope. You have given me love...and I want it. I don't know how I managed without you and I don't intend to find out."

The man soon knelt down, holding onto her hand as he smiled at her with genuine warmth and love.

"Iris Dei-Aurora Levana. Will you marry me?"

[dontsnortpixiestix]

Follow up on last post:

So I’m only gonna go into my favorite songs in View-monster

Marketland: THE BEST ONE I WILL DIE ON THAT HILL. I HAVE A WHOLE ANIMATION IN MIND BUT I HATE ANIMATING

10/10

Gadzooks: sometimes I repeat the word “gadzooks” but it’s alright ig, pretty funny tho

6/10

Knife fight: absolute banger, daydream robot fella shenanigans to this one, VERY FUN AND CATCHY

9/10

The only house that’s not on fire yet: just heard it in full recently, used to skip it, ITS REALLY CUTE AND ODDLY COMFORTING. LOVE IT.

10/10

The ocean: ironically listened to it on a lake gggggg, love the ending part, brings back good memories of my last vacation

9/10

The afternoon: I SING THIS A LOT “Ohohoh all the less you hold out, more and more well fold out, more and more you grow up, less and less we show up”

Very nostalgic and a comfort song, very silly, only issue is I can’t find a theme or cohesive bit at all

8/10

Bill Watterson: THIS SONG. THIS IS IT. Made my 2020 so much better, made 2021 even better, found again and got back to it. This song makes me so incredibly happy , also Calvin and Hobbs let’s fuckin gooooo

100/10

Modify: I don’t listen to it much but it’s good! I like the instrumental better than the lyrics but yeeee, also don’t really follow their work but that one aimkid animation is quite fun to zone out to

7/10

Andddd fuck I’ll just do more I’m tired

[reignitedprimes]

𝓡𝓮𝓲𝓰𝓷𝓲𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓟𝓪𝓼𝓽

{Canon and OC RP blog}

My creations and I were displaced, killed and reforged into something new.

I, was Solus Prime. I, am reforged, reignited, reborn. I, am Silversong. Mind your step, The Lathe doesn't enjoy an audience.

The Guides | The Rules to an Old Spark | The Places We've been

[nightwingvixen23]

Damian : *arguing with Jon at super MAX volume*

Clark & Bruce : *running into The Batcave in an attempt at calming the dispute*

Bruce : and just what exactly is the reason for all this damn noise tonight !?

Damian : just what exactly is the reason for all this damn noise tonight ?? well I'm so delighted that you ask !! you see father, the reason for all "this damn noise" is credited to THAT ungovernable idiot standing to your right !

Jon : oh so now I'M the one who's ungovernable ??

Damian : yes !

Jon : ME ?!

Damian : YES YOU ! WOULD YOU PREFER THAT I WRITE IT DOWN ON A STICKY NOTE IN ANOTHER PREFERRED LANGUAGE ?? OR DO YOU ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND THE WORDS I SPEAK AND ARE THEREFORE CHOOSING TO ACT LIKE AN ASS

Jon : how in the H E L L am I the ungovernable one between the two of us ???

Damian : I have no need to explain when your everyday actions already speak in VOLUMES

Jon : that's ridiculous--YOU'RE ridiculous !! OK. you know what ?? forget you ! let's have a show of hands right now !! who here agrees that I am the most reasonable when it comes to decision making while HIS hot-headed-cocksure-sass is good for nothing other than setting off EVERY damn fire alarm within a 2 block radius !!

Clark :

Bruce :

Damian : *fuming*

Jon : *both hands shooting up*

Damian : uh, excuse me but YOU don't GET to vote you utter dumbass !

Jon : well since no one here even BOTHERED to vote, then I took it upon myself to be the deciding jury and the jury would like to see the Death Penalty

Damian : *stalking forward*

Jon : *rolling up his sleeves*

Damian : oh I'll show your ass guilty al-fuckin-right

Jon : OoOh so your wantin to catch ALL the smoke tonight ?!

Damian : your damn right I am !!

Jon : let's goOoOo then !!

Bruce : *snatching Dami by the collar*

Clark : *dragging Jon back by the cape*

Damian : LET GO OF ME. NOW

Jon : C'MOM DAD ! C'MON AND LET ME GIVE THAT PRETTY FACE OF HIS THE RIGHT HOOK I'VE HAD LOADED UP FOR THE PAST 2 YEARS

Damian : I TOLD YOU TO STOP CALLING MY ASS PRETTY

Jon : THEN HOW ABOUT TELLING YOUR OWN ASS TO STOP BEING SO DAMN PRETTY

Damian : *struggling*

Clark : *casually tosses Jon over his shoulder like a sack of poatatoes*

Clark : there's no use in fighting me Jhonathan when you'll do no more than give yourself cramps. plus, you already know I have no problem in hoisting you around all night and all day

Jon : *restless puppy*

Clark : I will not let you go until you calm down

Jon : *instant limp sack of potatoes*

Damian : HA ! look at you !! easily bested by your own father--

Bruce : *grip tightening*

Bruce : I can very well demonstrate the same "besting" technique on you Damian, don't you try me

Damian :

Jon :

Clark : alright. now. . . . neither Bruce nor myself have any clue as to why this argument started in the first place

Bruce : we're in no position to be making assumptions and choosing sides

Clark : however, what I'm sure both of us can agree on is that whatever did happen to trigger this quarrel is mediocre at best

Damian & Jon : *twin glares*

Bruce : don't go believing a second that we don't know how both you boys are. the way you instantly go for each others throats over things like. . . Subway sandwich toppings--

Damian : --he had them dousing a PERFECTLY fine Spicy Italian sub with MAYO with KEPTCHUP how in the hell is that ALLOWED--

Bruce : Damian please the sandwich isn't the point. the point is that, given your past conflicts, it isn't hard to believe that whatever got you two so upset can be easily resolved

Clark : in other words there's no need for fists, boys

Clark : *hauls Jon back across the room*

Clark : so how about we use our words instead of our fists ?? I think that reconciliation is in order

Bruce : *shoving Dami forward*

Bruce : I couldn't agree more

Clark : *turning as to present Damian with a red-faced Jonno Kent hanging upside down from his dad's shoulder*

Jon :

Clark : I said--*tossing Jon up in the air a little to urge his little ass to get to talkin*--to make ammends

Jon : OKOKOKI'mtryingtorightnowdadgawd !!

Damian : *waiting*

Jon : *glaring*

Damian : *smirking*

Jon : bite me.

Clark : *. . . the disappointment is real *

Bruce : *holding Dami by the scruff of the neck *

Damian : *Fight Mode: ACTIVATED*

Bruce : stop

Damian : you heard him father; if it's a bite that he wants then I'll gladly mark his ass up REAL good !

Jon : did you mean for that to sound dirty ?? cause it did. it sounded dirty

Clark : *envisoning a world where his only son's train of thought wasn't so far down the fucking gutter*

Bruce : it's nothing to get pissy about, Damian. If Jon doesn't want to start off with the ammends, then it's up to you

Damian : and why the hell is it up to me ??

Bruce : because it's time to step up to the plate and became the bigger person in this situation

Damian : *tiredly watching Jon unwinde his middle finger jack-in-the-box style*

Damian : no offense father but I literally never want to be the bigger person again. we can both go to Hell

Jon : I'm cool with that

[anunvalidcritic]

MORTAL KOMBAT (2021)

(DISCLAIMER: MY OPINION IS MY OWN AND CAN BE DEEMED INVALID TO THOSE WHO DON’T CARE FOR IT.)

I don’t even what to say in this introduction... I mean... *sigh* don’t get me started on Sanada Hiroyuki (what an icon)! And freakin’ Lewis Tan and Ludi Lin! Those two have come a long way and so cool to see them show up and show out in this movie, but let’s not forget the others! You know what... let me hold my tongue because I can’t make this introduction to long KMSL. “LET’S GOOOOO!” - BUSTA RHYMES

ofc the opening scene is of Hiroyuki!

this is a Sanada Hiroyuki stan page and if you don’t like that, you can get tf out!

the door is to the right!!!!

bro you can whispering my ear too

That baby got quiet awfully quick.

“Where’s Hanzo?” - BI-HAN

he’s fetching water bruh

I genuinely thought the flowers on the tree were blood stains... i gotta get my eyes checked. 

He stopped crying real quick!!!

UGHH right through the fucking skull!

Y’all fuckin’ with the wrong one!!! But then again, you got the wrong one at the right time. So, 

GOOOODDDDDAAMMNNN!!!!!!

HE ABSOLUTELY FUCKIN’ SALTURED THEM!!!!!!

“I may not understand your words... but I promise I will kill you.” - HANZO

BI-HAN said that shit in Mandarin (forgive me if I’m wrong) out of spite. He said it in his native tongue because he knew if he said that shit in Japanese he would’ve gotten cut the fuck off! That motherfucka truly is foul lol. 

Got that fuckin’ cheek though ROFL

That baby better not make a fuckin’ sound during this fight!

Come on!

NOOO HIROYUKI!!!!!!! oh shit, I mean HANZO!!

Get away from the fuckin’ rock, bro!

HANZO GET CHO ASS UP

AHHH FUCK!

his blood is runnin’ like a river...

oh now that’s just nasty... that wound is deep as fuck! (ik I’m dramatic, get tf over it)

...well shit did the baby starve...

nvm they answered my remark lol (it’s been a while since playing/watching MK so I vaguely remember the storyline...)

“Earthrealm is on the verge of catastrophe should it lose one more tournament, the savage realm of Outworld will invade but an ancient prophecy fortells that a new group of champions will be united by the rise of Hanzo Hasashi’s blood.” 

Listen, I’m here for the violence... I don’t give two fucks about a romantic storyline, and I put that on me constantly playin’ this game as a child.

SUB-ZERO is.... cold blooded...

pre-fucked up JAX

first things first, why tf is your child puttin’ your business out there in the streets like?!

snow in July ain’t that somethin’ huh

he said BLADE like he was speakin’ to the vampire LOL

“And they will kill whoever they have to to get to you.” - JAX

“You want your family on a fucking slab in the morgue.” - JAX

bruh they can hear you rofl 

I still think it’s so cool that he was able to freeze that bullet. 

JAX + SUB-ZERO = severe frostbite... (ik ik I’m full of shit kmsl)

I understand that film makers only have a limited amount of time to film, but the scene where SONYA explains everything to COLE felt rushed. But once again, I understand.

“Kano. Kano none of your fucking business!” - KANO

KANO’s always hilarious, no matter what the setting is. 

Mini Godzillia

“You gotta pen you wanna write this down. Get fucked.” - KANO

“3 million, that’s my final offer.” - KANO’

dude, it was your only offer lol

LIU KANG!!

“Alright MC Hammer, that’s far enough.” - KANO

KANO comin’ in hard with these one liners

ICONIC DIALOGUE

LIU KANG - “There’s much to learn.”

KANO - “The fuck?”

LIU KANG - “But not here. Follow me.”

Ofc the one with fuckin’ GORO speaks to KANO

dude KUNG LAO came out the ground just the video games!!!!

“The time has come to end this.” - 

Who tf gave KANO some snacks?!

KUNG LAO smooth with it

I wouldn’t want to fight LUDI LIN as a character in a movie or real life...

listen... ik she’s trying to be encouraging but I would’ve been told her to such tf up

I can’t deal with KANO man lol

how tf does he have his phone??

“Yeah, that screech is a real turn on.” - KABAL

I don’t think NIATRA looks the greatest... they could’ve done better...

“Well, well, well you back stabbing two faced ugly motherfucker.” - KABAL

well, we already knew KANO was a trader

Alright so COLE’s armor is on that Black Panther shit ya feel me

I skipped through the hugging scene because... I said what I said... fuck the lovey dovey shit..

goddamn it not KUNG LAO

“Please tell me I get the bitch with the teeth.” - SONYA

FINISH HIM!!!

“Yeah, these motherfuckers work.” - JAX

KANO + ACETONE = Stitch with a Glitch

At least she left her spine intact...

you need to channel SCORPION GODDAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LET HIS ASS OUT!!!!!

Bro that’s pretty rad to see your ancestor kickin’ ass in person

I’m on HANZO’s side, but that blood-icicle was pretty lit. 

oh shit... triggered

Listen, I don’t fully understand Japanese but I would’ve walked tf away as well rofl

Man, look at Hiroyuki in all his greatness!

FATALITY BITCH!!

“Take care of my bloodline.” - HANZO

Oh, damn not CAGE lol

____________

What a whirlwind! I’m still stuck Sanada Hiroyuki! I wish that film was of origin story for some characters that could’ve continued onto the next movie within the franchise, but I understand what’s trying to be executed by the director, scriptwriters, film company, crew, and actors. I’m going to leave it at for right now... I’m gonna sleep on this one, literally lol. When I come back, I’ll write a better closing statement. Until then, continue to remember that everyone’s a critic when their opinion matters the least. 

Edit 4/26/21:

I’m still trying to find the right words to sum this up. I don’t think I have anything bad to say... 6.5/10... that’s all I’m gonna say for now 😂