#holy shit i actually miss those sensational days

[horce-divorce]

I'm 8 days post-op from Dr. Wrubel in Grand Rapids, Michigan!!

Just had my drains out & bolsters off, experiencing a euphoria heretofore previously unknowable to my mind and body, and it still hasn't REALLY even sunk in yet????? It's really real. It's really over. They're gone and I really never have to have tits ever again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the first week, still being bandaged up in the binder with tubes coming out of my ribs, I mainly felt injured, the relief hadn't set in yet. It certainly made it MORE real, and I had a few fleeting moments of "it happened? Already?? That's IT???" But it was hard to feel like it's permanent with all that stuff attached. also i was very preoccupied (unrelated to surgery).

Also? Surgery (like massages!) can apparently bring a lot of deep emotions and trauma to the surface. Post-op depression is a real thing, surgery is a lot for a body to go through. For days post op I was bursting into tears randomly remembering shit from YEARS ago, sitting there saying shit like, "it feels like my chest was ripped open (emotion)!" and then laughing my ass off bc my chest WAS literally ripped open. Of course all the feelings came spilling out. I'm pretty well adjusted so I enjoyed this, but I can see how a heads up might behoove a person!

Yesterday, once the drains were out, I had more of those "it happened?!" moments. Less fleeting. Feeling my shirt material against my ribs for the first time, where my sideboob used to be, and bursting into tears because I never even knew I missed that. Reaching in front of me expecting to bump into/grab a boob and hitting nothing. Walking around comfortably for once, feeling muscles tense waiting for a bounce-and-slap that never comes back. My friends (even the cis ones?! even the cis nurse?!?!) screaming and yelling that my scars and nips look SO good.

So it's sinking in more now, at the 22 hour mark; I can look down and see how flat, and feel that I'm not wearing a binder, and take a deep breath. I can reach down to cup a boobie that is no longer there (a sensation not unlike missing a step going down the stairs, but much smaller, and much giddier). I reach too far and feel a half-painful, half-numb tug. It's getting LESS fleeting, but I can still smell the sutures, I can still feel where the drains were, I haven't yet felt the sun on my chest for the real first time but I think maybe today will be the day, and at least for the first time I can SEE that happening.

For the first time the future isn't just an abstract concept, or just maybe something I can have. 10 years ago I didnt know if I'd be alive the next day, let alone in a year or 5 years. Today, I know I'm going to go outside and feel the sun on my bare, flat chest and that it's going to move me emotionally in a way I've never been moved. I know that now. I know I'm going to start those rural queer meetings this month, we already have the time and place. I know I'm going to banned book club this month because I want to really bad and I said I would. I'm even fairly certain I might actually get to go to GR Pride again for the first time since 2015 (and only for the second time ever!!!!! Ive only been to Pride once and never while I was out as trans!!!!!). I know I'm healthy enough right now to camp more and do more rockhounding and foraging and hiking and things I love this summer. I'm going to fucking cry holy shit. I'm so grateful rn. I have so many good friends. I have so much to look forward to. I finally have a body I don't fucking hate lmao. This is such a vast difference from this time last year.

I don't even know what to do with myself right now, I feel like I have zoomies!!! I'd be running around except it hurts my tits LOL. Real talk tho my body still very much anticipates the weight of those things every time I take a step, my muscles tense to hold them, and then they just... aren't there? It's the WEIRDEST sensation of all time. It's actually kind of validating as fuck? to truly notice for the first time just how much the rest of my body had to compensate for those things?? I feel SO hard for anyone with yabbos off the size chart + back problems. Cursed fuckin combination. You definitively have to work extra hard just to carry those fuckin things around and it's unjust!!!

It is LITCHERALLY!!!! a weight off my damn chest and the rest of my body!!!!! Emotionally and physically!!!!!!!! Like I can't even anticipate how much this will help my sensory issues and that wasn't even something I'd considered when I signed up for it lol

Anyone who's sitting here apprehensive about top surgery: I won't sugarcoat it, okay, i have a high pain tolerance BUT sensory issues. I opted not to take any tramadol, and the first week was pretty gnarly (2 things can be true). The drains are a fucking nightmare, especially for any of my fellow autistic baddies looking at top, yeah, the sensory aspect, I tell ya... MAN. I will NOT lie, It is DIS-GUS-TENG. The actual surgical pain isn't much worse than like a bad flareup of my usual chronic pain; overall it's like a 6 or 7 at the absolute worst and that's only when I'm overdoing it and like touching my chest all the time/wearing a seatbelt/carrying shit I shouldn't have been carrying (again w/o the pain meds). It feels a bit bruised and more than a bit burned, tender and sore to the touch, but it's totally bearable and to me it's way less painful than dysphoria by a long shot.

absolutely every single second of it has been worth it and I never once doubted it was the right thing to have done. I would do it again with zero hesitation. If you have been waiting to look into top because, idk, you wanted a sign, or you're lazy, or you think it's gonna be too hard, or you're worried about recovery- here's your sign. don't be. The way I feel right now is something you deserve to feel. I want you to feel this way. And I promise there is no combination of words I can find that would do it justice. You just have to feel it for yourself. Stop waiting for the right time. You're alive right now. Call your surgeon. I love you.

[randomvarious]

Today's compilation:

Power FM Power Music 1998 Pop / Adult Contemporary / Pop-Rock / Hard Rock / Blues-Rock

Holy hell, folks. Here's something that really exemplifies some of that true, spin-the-wheel, anything-goes, compilation madness. This is a release from EMI's South Korean subsidiary, with an aesthetic that, sure as shit, presents itself as an ephemeral Now That's What I Call Music!-type of affair, but in actuality, is a hybrid slate of about half contemporary mid-to-late 90s hits from the US, UK, and continental Europe, and half a completely inexplicable assortment of songs from both the 70s and early 90s...?!?

So, a bunch of songs on this are good, but having them on the same album is definitely a total head-scratcher; like, Natalie Imbruglia's great radio pop classic, "Torn," and Radiohead's brilliantly dark and cavernous "Exit Music (for a Film)" happen to appear alongside The Knack's irresistibly catchy—and also mind-numbingly stupid—power pop smash, "My Sharona," as well as an over six-and-a-half-minute live version of Thin Lizzy guitarist Gary Moore's "Parisienne Walkways" from 1993???

But the true coup de grace here comes towards the end, and I will tell you all this much: you will *never*, in your life, *ever* be prepared enough to experience anything quite like the transition that takes place on this album between the selections of the sweet piano pop of Lou Reed's "Perfect Day" and the plainly terrible German Eurodance of La Bouche's "You Won't Forget Me." Whoever decided to wreak this havoc should really be working for the CIA or something, because you *thoroughly* fucked my head up with that brief sequence there.

And now, let's spend the rest of this post by...showing some love...to Robyn and her unfairly somewhat forgotten hit, "Show Me Love," which is *not* to be confused with the early 90s diva house jam of the same title by the similarly named Robin S. (it's all a bit confusing, I know).

Every single 90s female pop playlist that's ever been curated has always come with Britney and Christina on it, but someone who's more likely to be missing from those sets is their direct Swedish predecessor, Robyn. Robyn's claim to fame these days is as a global vocal EDM superstar, but in her younger days, she was a teen pop sensation who never really quite caught on in the States. She managed to land a pair of back-to-back top-ten pop hits between 1996 and 1997, but then quickly faded into US obscurity. However, she happened to be produced by the same Swedish teen pop stable—Cheiron Studios—that would soon make Britney into a superstar herself, and they'd also churned out hits for the Backstreet Boys by then as well.

Blond, short-haired Robyn definitely didn't present nearly as sexily as Britney would, and her lyrics weren't as playfully tempting as something like Christina's "Genie in a Bottle" either, but "Show Me Love" was still a terrific late 90s teen pop bop that predated both of those icons' own landmark debuts. And you can totally hear the smacky drum track and rhythm of "Quit Playing Games (With My Heart)," "As Long as You Love Me," and "I Want It That Way" on it too, but I would argue that it actually has a much richer, fuller, and sleeker sound than that trio of enormous Backstreet Boys hits. It has a warm and dubby bassline, great string pads, an ever-so-subtly whistling g-funky synth at certain points, and above all else, an infectiously catchy chorus. Just such an oft-forgotten midtempo pop earworm that deserves way more remembrance than it's received over the years. And same goes for Robyn's other US Hot 100 hit, "Do You Know (What It Takes)," too, by the way.

So, overall, a very strange late 90s South Korean comp here that doesn't actually have any Korean talent on it whatsoever, but is still a fun, yet seemingly very random collection of tunes. And it has one of my absolute favorite teen pop tunes of the late 90s on it too, the ever-underappreciated "Show Me Love," by Robyn.

Highlights:

Natalie Imbruglia - "Torn" Spice Girls - "Say You'll Be There" Radiohead - "Exit Music (for a Film)" The Knack - "My Sharona" Gary Moore - "Parisienne Walkways" Sarah McLachlan - "Building a Mystery" Robbie Williams - "Angels" Lou Reed - "Perfect Day" Robyn - "Show Me Love" Vanessa-Mae - "I'm a Doun"

[delightfullygiddy]

Hearing Crazy Frog by Axel F will always transport me back into those summer days of my early high school years.

[dorimena]

𝕻𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖙𝖞 𝖕𝖙.𝟏

𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔯𝔞𝔠𝔱𝔢𝔯; monoma neito

𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔡 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱; 5.1k of filth,

𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰; nsfw, Overstimulation, edging, dacryphilia, degradation/humilliation, cursing, cockwarming, crossdressing, school girl kink (?), mommy kink, pegging, cum play+eating, dom!fem reader, sub!character

𝔬𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯 𝔱𝔞𝔤𝔰; whiney Monoma, loud sex, Monoma in a skirt, soundproof dorms, mentions of other 1B characters, aged-up character, Monoma is 18 in this

𝔰𝔦𝔡𝔢 𝔫𝔬𝔱𝔢; this was meant to just be some long fic, but I find it easier to just divide it into 2 parts while I figure out how to write out the scene I actually wanted to get to. I got carried away. This is what I've been doing during holy week. My religious school would be ashamed of me. This has been proofread, but if there are still any mistakes, I apologize.

𝔭𝔞𝔯𝔱 𝔦𝔦.; incomplete/in progress.

Monoma had a shit week.

It all started on Monday when his school pants ripped conveniently from the back as he bent down to pick up his fallen notebook. They didn’t even look like they would rip! So how did they...? All he could hear during his inner turmoil and growing embarrassment were murmurs of pity, whispers of curiosity, and his homeroom teacher calling his name countless times to send him back to the dorms to change. Permission slip in hand and underwear out, he silently nodded and made his out, all while ignoring a burning sensation in his eyes and sudden dryness in his throat.

(Walking out the doors with his blazer tied around his waist, he swore he heard a familiar giggle and mockery coming from a smart-mouthed girl.)

Tuesday came bulldozing so suddenly that it ran over him. Well, really it was Yaoyorozu’s canon that almost ran him over. 

The day, in general, was normal, none of his classmates made comments about the minor incident the day before, well, except for Y/N who asked if he sent his pants to be fixed or not. (He didn’t, so she demanded him to hand it over to her.) He didn’t go back to the dorms after their last class, since he has to carry out classroom cleaning duties after he accidentally pushed Bakugou into the mud last week. No, seriously, it was an accident. First off, he didn’t see the mud. Second off, he was messing around with Kaibara’s quirk, which spooked Nirengeki who was somehow walking close by to the hot-headed explosion man- and… well, Monoma mistook Bakugou for Honenuki. For some odd reason. How insulting to his intelligence and great memory skills.

So after such a tiring task of brooming, wiping, dusting, and inspecting, he expected to be knocked off his feet with whatever Kendo decided to cook for dinner, not Yaoyorozu’s canon. God, and he shrieked! Who fucking shrieks?! He’s 18, he’s not supposed to shriek! Unless you’re pegging him just right-  

Wednesday only sucked because you canceled your biweekly study session in favor of hanging out with the girls in 3A. Now, regardless of what people still say, he has matured and slowly grew out his competitiveness and “jealousy” over class A, and doesn’t really have much issue with most of them (mainly because Shinsou somehow helped him become more “friendly”). However, how dare you choose the girls over him! You’ve never done that. 

(And whether or not he was moody and pouty is just a hallucination of yours, he swears it.)

The only bad thing, if you could even call it that, that happened on Thursday was that it slipped his mind how much time he had left to use Tsuburaba’s quirk and lost against his good ol’ pal. 

Friday though… Friday was just really weird and he hated how it only felt weird for him. Maybe it’s pent up frustration with how the week went? Maybe it’s the pouty baby in him still being butthurt over Wednesday’s missed study date? Maybe it’s you staring at his legs and ass? Maybe it’s the way you look so delectable in your hero outfit? Maybe- well, now he was just overthinking it, and he rarely ever does! He was tempted on asking Shinsou to, y’know, brainwash him so he could forget this weird feeling of him feeling weird.

Now comes Saturday. 

Today is Saturday.

Today is 10:06 pm on a Saturday.

You’re over at his dorm for the already mentioned biweekly study date. He should feel happy, considering you brought over some snacks, ordered take-out from his favorite French restaurant, even played with his hair every time you guys had the 15-minute study break. 

But he’s not happy.  He’s not unhappy, but he isn’t happy? Again, the weird feeling he felt the day before hasn’t really left and it’s been crawling around his skin, only getting worse when he saw you coming in with pants. 

It’s not supposed to make him feel not happy, but you usually come over with a cute skirt or dress, showing enough of your thighs and panties to keep him up at night, fantasizing about them wrapped around his head, suffocating him as he eats you out so delicately or ferociously, littered with his desperate bites and kisses, making him whine out in horny pain-

“Monoma?” you asked, eyebrows furrowed in worry as you ditch your phone to look over at your whining boyfriend. “You okay there?”

Shit. He must’ve gotten lost in his thoughts. “Yes, I am perfectly fine, darling.”

Now that’s weird. He’s speaking so softly, and he only ever does that after he’s cum at least a few times, or when he’s totally relaxed and ready to call it a night. Well, there are those few times where he lies and he speaks about the same.

Humming, you smile sweetly at him. 

“Are you sure about that, baby boy?”

Oh, that sent a shudder through his body, his white shirt suddenly feeling too thick and his shorts feeling a bit constricting. In other words, he’s now turned on.

He stays quiet, however, because he feels like his voice will give away his actual feelings, whether it continues being soft or it decides to crack and show how he’s ready to give himself away to you.

“Neito. I asked you a question.”

“No, mommy! I-I mean, I don’t know…” He huffed out, embarrassment now outweighing his neediness. God, why did you have to pull out the mommy card?! You’re so wicked. Did you not know how horrible his week was and now you want to be mean to him?

“What do you mean by that, baby?”

“Well, I’ve had a horrible week, mommy! You should know that!” 

“Don’t dare yell at me, Neito. Mommy’s trying to be patient and understanding, but if you’re going to just be a brat, then I should just leave you in time out, right?” Monoma gawked, his whole body and attention turned towards you as you got off of his bed, arms crossed and disappointment showing on your face. Really? You’re disappointed? Just as he opened his mouth to talk back, you spoke first.

“And here I brought one last gift for you. I’m here trying to be such a caring, doting girlfriend, and you start making assumptions about my efforts? Bad boy!”

Wait, gift? These were gifts? Oh! You… you were trying to comfort him? God, guess he was a bad boy. 

Seeing him deflate, eyes losing whatever snark they possessed, you sigh and walk towards your bag near the door. And this made him stand up so quickly he lost his footing and slightly fell forward, shocked that you could be leaving already, which you aren’t. Startled by his sudden movement, you quickly take out a plastic bag and hold it in front of him to show the last gift. 

It was quiet between you two, staring at each other before looking down at what you are holding. 

“What is that?” He’s the first to speak, blinking as he tries to figure out what the dark blue item could possibly be. It’s pleated, though, so-

“Is it the skirt you’ll change into?” And you laugh, shaking your head as you walk back to the bed and sit. 

“Not me, baby. You will change into it.” He’s going to be wearing a skirt? 

Blinking once more in confusion, he giggles awkwardly before frowning. 

“You’re joking, right?” Now it’s your turn to frown.

“No.” And you smile confidently. “I promise, if you wear the outfit in here, it’ll lead us to the actual last gift, hm?” You bat your eyelashes like a little girl asking her dad for a new Barbie doll, or whatever it is they bat their eyelashes for. You’re curious to see what he’ll do.

And you didn’t have to wait long for his decision to be made.

Sitting on your naked lap, thighs trembling in either overexertion or overstimulation, is a certain sweaty, defiled blond male with gorgeous teary, periwinkle eyes trying their best to focus down on you. 

After he swiftly and elegantly changed into the outfit, it came to show on his mirror that this wasn’t some random crop top and skirt combo, but a whole schoolgirl uniform: apart from a cropped school girl top and the pleated navy skirt, there were white thigh highs and cute hair clips. 

Turns out, you misunderstood his ‘subtle’ hints of some kinky schoolgirl skirt sex; you thought he was offering, with the way he’d bat his pretty eyelashes at you and stare at your skirt during lunch. Really, he was implying you stay with it on, somehow. 

Regardless of who was wrong, the fact your pretty boy is squirming uncontrollably with your strap-on deep inside him is something you just have to engrave in your mind. Who knows when you’ll be able to buy another skirt his size? You can’t wait to render it useless.

“Y-You’ve been thin-thinking for too-oo long!” Monoma whines, bringing a hand to wipe away his bothersome tears he doesn’t want you to see, huffing at the end before moaning loudly as you roll your hips upwards, the tip of the dildo teasing his sweet spot.

“Mm, I didn’t say you can speak yet, did I? Guess mommy spoiled you too much.” Sneering, you shift on the bedsheets under you while placing your hands on his thighs, slowly raking your nails upwards. You try your best to avoid the white thigh-high socks, not wanting to make him ticklish and forget why you’re even touching him there. 

Monoma shakingly gasps, squirming even more as he tries to have his pathetic, precum weeping dick grab the attention of either one of your hands but ends up staining the clothing covering it. Rolling your eyes, you smack the hairless skin hard enough to watch it quickly flush red and hear him groan, whether in pain, arousal or both.

“Stop it. You’re making me angry with how selfish you’re being. Isn’t mommy supposed to be satisfied first? Or did you forget our rules, baby?” 

“N-no! No! No, I- no!” Is whining all that he can do? He’s been whining or moaning for the past hour, with the occasional groans or gasps. You don’t want him to only whine, you need to see him cry. 

Cry prettily as he did on Monday when he thought no one was looking back at the dorms.  Watch him struggle to keep his whimpers of humiliation at bay. Make him forget all about his silly pride and stupid competitiveness against a class who doesn’t really see him as a threat, but just a crazy motherfucker (or so says Hagakure.)

“No what, Neito? ‘No mommy! I do know the rules!’ or ‘No mommy! I forgot the rules!’ C’mon, baby. I thought you knew how to speak properly? Now you’re making Bakugou seem eloquent.”

Oh no, you’re upset at him. Monoma gasps in offense, though, at the implication that the anger and pride-driven Bakugou is better than him at speaking. Ouch, okay, that actually kind of hurt but it was kinda hot? Kinda not? What’s wrong with him?

Yeah, what’s wrong with him? You’re expecting him to go on with his speech of how Bakugou isn’t anywhere near his expertise and social skills, how he’s clearly more coherent than the other, or the typical ‘how dare you’ sentences. What you didn’t expect was him to whimper and clasp his hands together as if asking for forgiveness so soon.

“No mo-mommy! I do know! Th-The rules, th-that is! I know ‘em!” 

“Then you’ll stop moving so much and let mommy continue marking you? If you do, and I’ll be repeating this for the last time, Neito, mommy might let you cum first, mm? Sounds good?”

“Ye-ES!” Okay, maybe you should’ve waited until he answered to land another slap on his thighs, although this one was close to his dick. Oh well, at least he’s making other sounds, but no struggle or tears. 

Leaving nail marks around the pale, smooth skin, even carving your name on both thighs with light scratches, you’re in awe at how he’s trying not to move too much. Then again, he is your sweet baby boy, who thrives and gets off of making you proud of him and cumming because of him. 

Lifting your eyes from the satisfying reddening skin to his face, you’re struck with awe again: finally, as if some god were listening to your wishes, you see him blinking rapidly as a new batch of tears quickly accumulate on his lashline and slowly trickle down his red cheeks before being furiously wiped away by him. Seems like this has been going on for a bit, seeing how his eyes are slightly red and his hands, clasped back together, if not tighter, look kind of wet. He didn’t want you to know he was trying not to cry and then failed so beautifully.

Gosh, and here you were expecting him to be a brat, to defy your authority over him, to challenge you like he usually does. 

(If only you had some mind-reading quirk, you would’ve known he actually had been planning his next moves.)

“Good job, baby! You let mommy mark you so pretty with her hands, and look! Mommy’s name is on your thighs, so that next time you touch yourself you won’t forget who you belong to- I mean, who you’re a baby boy for.” 

You’re basking in happiness, in pride, in complete bliss while he thanks you in small whimpers, hips twitching and hole clenching around your strap. Right, you forgot how long he has been cockwarming you; guess he deserves an even better award. He never manages to hold back for so long when sitting on your silicone cock.

Rubbing your palms around his thighs without moving your stare from his face, you command him to put his hands to use and lift the hem of the skirt, getting a good show of a new dribble of precum dropping heavily onto your pelvis. His dick is even shaking just as much as his body, pulsing even more than any other past encounter. It’s also competing against Kirishima’s red hair for the title of the “most red thing ever to exist”. 

Monoma’s opening and closing his mouth, eyebrows furrowed in question and silent begging.

“You can speak now.”

“M-Mommy, you pro-hah-mised t-to make hn-me cu-um!”

“...Watch that tone, little boy.” You glowered before continuing. “Remind mommy what she promised you and explain why you deserve it.”

Now you’re being unfair again and Monoma doesn’t want to deal with how you’re suddenly trying to milk out his responses to the way you want. Crossing his arms and glaring down at you, he mutters, “Wh-why should I? Did y-you forget?” 

Humming, you move your hands to his hips, rubbing your thumb on the cheap material covering them before beginning to lift him off, at least trying to. “Guess mommy should go back to her room since her baby boy decided to be a little bitch.”

“No!” That’s startling on both your ends hearing such a loud, anguished tone come out of him. Bottom lip trembling and quickly putting his hands to grip tightly at the skirt, Monoma holds back a sob. 

“I’m so-sorry, mommy! ‘m not a-a, um, little b-bitch. I’m sorry.” Ending with a whisper, he slowly puts all of his body weight down on your lap, wanting to keep you there and make it impossible to lift him off, and hangs his head in defeat. (Really, it’s because of shame, but you’ll never hear that from him.)

Do you not realize how hard he’s shaking? He can feel his heartbeat in his ears and hear it from his brain. He’s all sweaty and flushed red, his pupils dilate every time you look deep into them. He’s seen the way your eyes light up when glancing at his weeping dick, and he loves how wet it looks, it feels, it sounds, whenever he shifts. 

Most importantly, other than his neglected manhood slowly turning a shade of purple, his prostate has been teased for so long that he just wants to ride you hard enough to find bruises tomorrow and hypothetically ‘destroy your cock’.

“If you’re sorry, you’ll tell me what I want to hear. I’m not going to repeat what I asked for.”

Gulping to ease down the shame building up in his body, he lifts his head enough to catch your gaze before softly responding. 

“Mommy, um, promised I-I get to cum… she’ll m-make me cum if I-I stopped movin’ s’ much.” Goddamn it, Monoma, get yourself together! “I d-deserve this be-because I stopped. Was a g-good ba-um, baby boy.” He loves hates it when you make him do this, even if not often.

Satisfied with the answer you’ll probably only ever hear once and as clear as possible, you nod your head. 

“Then fuck yourself on my cock, Neito.”

No need to repeat yourself. Every little noise he tried so hard to hold back, every twitch and shudder he tried so hard to subdue, every twist of his face to show off the agonizing pleasure is quickly overcoming his insides and dick.

He’s whimpering so loudly, so shamelessly, as he bounces greedily on your lap. Loud and wet skin slapping against each other, and you at first thought, through every lost huff of air, that it’d be his ass connecting to your lube-covered thighs. Instead, your eyes shift towards his crying cock, the way spurts and spurts of precum are left on your lower abdomen, how this furiously blushing extremity keeps slapping itself onto you with every one of his desperate bounces. It’s even wetter than moments ago, you would’ve thought it’d be lube.

Monoma opens his eyes, which seemed to have closed at some point, and looks down at your face, huffing out airy whines of ‘what’, not knowing what you’re looking at. His dick has been wet with his precum for the past hour, so what could be new?

Until he looks down at himself and is mesmerized with how his dick, heavy with unreleased cum and flushed with blood, is tainting and slapping against your beautiful skin with his horny juice- wait, how stupid is he to refer to his precum as ‘horny juice?’ 

Stupid enough to forget to close his mouth and make his built up drool mix in with the mess below, his whimpers and whiny moans turning into high-pitched cries of your name and loud moans, a normal person would worry about their neighbors. The more he stares at himself, the louder he gets and the sloppier his hips gyrate.

Until he suddenly feels the tip of the toy punch against his prostate. 

“Ahn! AGAIN! A-aga-again! Nngain!” Monoma screams, eyes crossing and welling up with old and new built-up tears, ready to drip down. He’s gripping and pulling the hem of his skirt in all directions, his hands never staying still even when a light rip could be heard upon a harsh pull. He recreates the same move, thighs quivering and tensing, begging to be closed. Each accurate hit to his sensitive spot forces out a louder cry and threatens his tears to let loose. 

His movements get sloppier and lazier. Seems like he’s tiring out, which isn’t good. Sure, you’re hoping to make him cry with pretty tears and ugly sobs, but you were also hoping to make him do so repeatedly. Then again, if he’s tired out, there wouldn't be much fight or snark from him and maybe you can still make him cry freely. 

Good thing you know how to execute fantastic sneak attacks against him.

Under the pillow where your head is situated, you reach for a not-so-small device that kind of looks like a walkie-talkie. Monoma sees this when trying to focus his sight, tensing up at the thought that maybe you were recording this for some benefit or blackmail. But why would you want to blackmail your own boyfriend? Had he done something not to your liking?

The answer came in the form of loud buzzing and sudden quaking starting from deep inside him. 

“Wh-wh-wha-what is- hnngh, st-sto-op!”  Monoma wails out, almost falling onto your body with how powerful the vibrations are churning hot inside of him. His vision is getting blurry, blocked by the tears that finally, finally are let go and kiss his cheeks with every hot trail left behind. 

“You, oh, want me to stop?” He can kind of see your wicked grin, the mockery in your tone and amusement oozing out making him let even more tears fall. Why would you want to stop? 

“St-sto-op?! No? N-no! No! P-pluh-plea- nnnghh!” 

Ah, so he’s gone dumb. He doesn’t realize he said to stop. Well, now you can either continue watching him break on your lap and admire the waterfall of precum and fresh tears and make him continue working for his orgasm; or, you can tease him some more while turning up the intensity of the toy, now that it’s pleasuring you for once. The way it tickles your clit is enough to make your panting much more noticeable and thighs tense. You wonder how a setting at 4 could already drag out such reactions from the blond male. Enticed now, you decide to go with the second choice. 

“P-pluh-plea…? Didn’t think y-you’d be stupid! Where did m-my smart-mouthed baby go? Ugh.” 

“N-n’where m’mmy! ‘m h-here- Fuck! Fuck, pl-please! Please! Mo-more? Nngh!”

“You’re slurring, b-baby. But, you a-asked politely.” You hover your thumb over the ‘+’ button, hips grinding upward to drag out some more tears, more cries, more whimpers as you melt into the bed.

“Mommy’s g-gonna count to 10, al-alright? Ugh, then you’ll c-cum, mm. Understand?” 

You’ve never seen so much eagerness come from Monoma before, well, not unless it’s because he knows he’ll win at something or get to prove his worth even more. But the way he nods reminds you of a bobblehead: empty in the head, cute to look at. 

“G-good. Don’t forget t-to keep riding m-mommy’s big, th-thick cock.” You then lower your voice, sending shivers down his spine even with how hot he feels. “Understand?”

You don’t wait to see more of his eager nods. You press down on the button until it reaches the maximum intensity, which makes your hips jolt up so harshly, thrusting the silicon toy back up to him that it’s enough to make him squeal. Now that’s new. 

As much as you’re enjoying how satisfying the stimulation is on your wet cunt, you can’t help but moan out loud Monoma’s name as the boy’s reduced to short-lived squeals and rapid hiccups, so rapid that you’re beginning to think he might be hyperventilating. Worried, you bring your thumb to reduce the intensity before feeling him grind so desperately on your lap. So without any more distractions or hesitations, you quickly begin the countdown.

“Ten.” Monoma repeats with a strained moan, his hands flailing about as he tries to grab purchase onto something, letting go of his ‘forgotten’ skirt.

“N-nine.” Monoma finally plants his trembling hands onto your shoulders, pinning you down enough to give enough strength to his arms. Hovering over you, you frown at his skirt-covered dick. 

“Ei-eight.” Monoma tenses his thighs as much as possible to stop the shaking. Even if it didn’t do much, he begins riding you again with more vigor and desperation than previously. A high-pitched whine of your name quickly leaves him as his sensitive dick receives friction from the fabric covering it, the stain that had dried over time reviving as more precum marks it.

“Seven- shit.” Monoma’s trying to look down at you. He can’t really see much of anything, not with his tears never stopping or his mind not setting back into an intellectual phase. He can barely think to say anything else but lewd chants of your name and ‘please’, ‘more’, ‘faster’. It’s not until he moans out a timid “f-fu-ugh- fuck!” that you pay mind to the rapidly growing heat in your stomach.

“Six! Fuck, Neito!” Monoma’s continuous chants and growing volume suddenly sound babbled as he drools down on you, his saliva hitting your chin before you growl up at him. No words are exchanged as he swallows the liquid that had accumulated, although with difficulty. His thighs are beginning to burn and shake with exhaustion, quaking even worse than when he was cockwarming you. His riding turned into hard bouncing, finally stealing your breath away physically and providing some movement on the other end of the silicone toy to press harder onto your clit. 

“Fi-five!” Monoma’s eyes cross for the second time, staying longer in that position as he chokes on his scream, all because you’re beginning to meet up with your own thrusts. Your feet planted on the bed as you let go of the control for the vibrator, gripping onto his hips tightly to match him with you. You’re beginning to moan so sweetly, gasping out his name loud enough for him to-

“Cl-clo-ose! F-ugh-fuck! Fuck! Clo-oooose!” 

“Ho-hold it! Hold i-it, baby, a-almost the-there!” God, the heat is growing so deep in you that you know this will be violent.

“Four- shiiit.” Monoma’s sobbing now, ever since you told him to hold it. Mission accomplished, so far. He’s blinking rapidly, trying to get rid of the tears and allow him to actually see you. He needs to see your lewd faces, ignoring the fact he is probably rivaling yours. The intense need to cum is building up far too quickly for him to even catch up and he just wants to cum right here, right now. But if he does, you’ll punish him. So, he tries his best to hold it. 

“Three! Three, Neito!” Monoma’s trying so hard to not cum, to not even think about it, but how can he if his prostate is being overstimulated and his cock keeps receiving such familiar friction, enough to make him sob even louder. He’s not going to make it.

“T-two! Lif-ft your sk-skirt!” Monoma can’t or else he’ll fall on you. But you’re grabbing onto him so hard that he hasn’t felt the need to support himself on your shoulders. Using whatever energy he has left, he throws himself up to his old sitting position, making his bouncing sloppier and unsynchronized with your thrusts. He quickly grabs onto the wet hem, biting his lip as he tries to swallow and control his sobs. Lifting it, he’s rewarded with the sight of his slick covered cock, so red and noticeably throbbing that his eyes slightly roll to the back of his head.

“One! Fuck, one!” Monoma’s mouth opens wide, his throat constricting as every choked moan and cry tries to escape while his ass begins to tighten alarmingly fast around the toy. He jumps when he feels something wrap around him, quickly looking down at himself again to see, then feel, you viciously stroke him. And that does it.

“Cum.”

Monoma gasps as he relaxes his thighs and lets go. One more hit to his prostate and he’s…

He’s quiet.

Your eyes are as wide as dinner plates as you watch him reach his orgasm: on you, in all his beautiful glory, is Monoma Neito. A guy whose back is arched at a certain angle you’re sure it’s uncomfortable. A guy whose nipples are completely being seen through the drenched crop top. A guy whose mouth is leaking trails of drool, but not as much as his eyes are leaking streams of unstoppable tears. A guy whose face is so red and sweaty, his bangs are striking to the skin and his eye color pops out more. A guy whose only warning of his cum leaving his body, as much as his soul had, is to roll his eyes so violently to the back of his head and convulse forward.

You forget about your orgasm as you try your best to support his body in the current position, not wanting him to fall on you or backward. Well, maybe you should’ve let him fall onto you.

His cum spurts seem to be gold medal Olympians in ‘how far can we reach’ and ‘how much can we be’. The first one barely misses your eyes, but the second one hits you on the forehead. With each spurt leaving his twitching cock, Monoma hiccups whiney and loud words of gratitude and mercy, hips jumping up, torso jolting forward. His knuckles are white upon the unforgivable grip he has on his absolutely ruined skirt, slowly but surely being dirtied with each load forced out of him with the still-buzzing toy inside him.

This whole scene is enough to remind you about turning down the intensity of the vibrations while grinding slowly, both to help milk him out his incredibly overwhelming high and to bring you back to the tip of paradise. 

By the time he’s done, he nearly collapses on you but first lifts himself, somehow, off of the toy before leaning back onto your lifted thighs. He’s still twitching, the color of his face slowly coming back as his eyes dry up from the tears. The socks have moved a bit down on his legs and most of the pretty hello-kitty themed hair clips are barely fastened on his hair. You’re pretty sure some are littered around the bed.

Monoma’s eyeing his mess curiously and taking in a cum-covered you before he scoops up some of his cum, tastes himself and you both moan softly. You turn the toy off, still rolling your hips as much as possible to ride out your harsh, hot, and wet orgasm. You’re pretty sure you somehow squirted, but that doesn’t matter too much right now. 

Because the moment Monoma came back to his senses and made eye contact with you, you find yourself living in a slow-motion picture: with a shaky hand, he uses the same fingers to write down his first name before scooping up as much of his excess cum and, without any warning, moves forward to thrust his fingers in your mouth, dragging the pads of his fingertips down onto your tongue as you swallow. 

Pulling his fingers out slowly while giggling breathlessly, his signature smirk grows onto his blissed-out face.

“H-how do I ta-taste, m-mommy?”

[lilxberry]

I Watched You Die} 6 - Natasha Romanoff

Synopsis;

Someone from Natashas’ past makes the most of unsuspected arrivals and begins to cause issues, not only for her, just everyone they come into contact with. HYDRA uses them as a simple puppet and Natasha believes that maybe, just maybe, she could get them back to her in the way she remembers.

Warnings: Language. Fighting. Terrible writing (this chapter was terrible.)

Words: 3,123

Pairings: Natasha Romanoff x Reader (female reader) (super soldier reader) (HYDRA reader)

(A/N: There’s some time jumps that aren’t stated but it’s still relatively easy to follow in that sense. Also, this chapter is more so a filler but nonetheless is related to the story.)

(A/N 2: Strucker and interactions with him are in German and a small interaction with Wanda is in Slovak as a substitute for Sokovian. There is some Russian in this but it’s quite easy to distinguish between the languages’ used.)

< Chapter 5    Chapter 7 >

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Her head throbbed and her neck was stiff and pained from its lolled position it had been in hours on end. Even with her head tilted forward and down towards the hard floor beneath her, the light felt harsh against her eyes, a stinging, burning sensation appearing each time she cracks an eye open.

“Ah, I hope you slept well, Miss Romanoff.”

The familiarity in the voice caused Natasha to tense and she willed her eyes to open and remain as such. Raising her head, her eyes automatically lock on to the figure before her in which everyone believed was dead.

“How are you here?”

The man chuckled and began to take steps towards the tied up red head, his hands folded together behind his back, a smug look etched into his features. “It is quite incredible the technology we have within this day and age, yes?”

Her features twisted up into a sneer, glaring at the one of the few notorious HYDRA leaders they, the Avengers, had come to face. “Why can’t people just stay dead?”

Strucker rounded her body leaving her to look at the room they held her within; bland in colour but crowded with technology. “I believe you’re also not referring to only me now, are you?” He clicks his tongue. “Yes, Y/N. Our best asset yet. The twins were exceptional, yes and the winter soldier was successful until recent years, but Y/N is our best creation.”

His German accent is thick as the words pass into her ears and registers his words, but his next sentence as he leans down to whisper right beside her head makes her blood run cold. “Finding her on the brink of death was undoubtfully wonderful, on our part at least.”

The man chuckled as he straightened himself back out, standing to his full height before rounding her seated position once more to stand before her. “How are our previous assets, anyways? The updates Ghost gives are quite minimal in unnecessary data.”

Silence. Strucker tsked at her lack of response and spun on heel, taking one, two, three steps forward before coming to a standstill. “I suppose you’d like to know why we have you hear,” he called over his shoulder to her. When he was met with silence once more, he continued.

“S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Avengers have certainly been a right ganz schlimmer, a large spanner in our works. We run smoothly when you and your little friends keep out of our business. Perfectly running machinery. So, we’re simply removing the issue with our operation. You.” (Fucking pain.)

Slow and intimidating were his steps as he little by little made his way over towards a board of panels which, much like every other piece of technology was surrounded by people in off-white lab coats. His fingers danced over the multiple of buttons that littered the deck of the panel.

“You may not think so yourself but, we believe you are the strongest of your little band of heroes. No, not physically. Mentally? Yes. We also believe, if we break you, the rest of the team will surely follow in crumbling down.”

His eyes linger on one spot in particular on the panel, his finger hovering over it. “Now you’re also wondering why I’m electing to tell you all this. The answer is simple, really.” He pushes down on a button, resulting in the chair that Natasha is strapped to, to recline backwards, much like a chair in a barbers’, before laying her flat.

“You’re stuck here.”

Natashas’ head looks from left to right in a frantic manner as Strucker steps away from the lengthy panel of buttons and stalks towards her, his boots quietly squeaking against the cold, smooth floor of the room.

Above her is some form of machinery she could best describe as terrifying in appearance, harsh glinting metal and a mass of wires. Movement to both her left and right signify to her that people are beginning to close in on her and surround her. Panic rises in her body further as someone steps closer to her head holding what she believed was a mouth guard; something she’ll be biting down on.

She shakes her head in a desperate attempt to avoid the object but with no such luck. Someone had violently grasped her jaw in a bruising grip and forced the guard into her mouth. Strucker leans over her laying form and the evil grin on his face is purely sickening.

“Have you ever felt 450 volts of electricity surged through your body before? No? Oh, don’t worry. IT should be over before you know it.” He pulls back, making Natasha follow his with her eyes. Her protests are muffled by the guard in her mouth. “But, please, be mindful when it comes to the convulsions that follow. You wouldn’t like to break a bone, surely.”

Strucker walks towards yet another panel, this time with AMP and voltage gages along with other gages she couldn’t quite make out from her position. He places his hand atop a dial and nods his head once to one of the many people scuttling around the room. She feels something be attached to each temple and it reminds her strongly of the old school, brutal electroshock therapy that doctors used to dole out.

“Shall we move this along and see how long it takes until you break?”

Natasha spots your body stood stiff and squared near the door at the foot of the room, features lacking any show of emotion. Her eyes widened, and she desperately hoped that her eyes asked what she couldn’t.

‘Help me.’

Your being, unmoving and unchanged, is the last thing she sees before searing hot pain shots through her body. She bites down on the guard and releases and ear-piercing scream around it as her whole-body tenses and her back arches up, fists clenched tightly, and toes curled.

Her body falls limp for a short moment before the process repeats, over and over. Like an unending, destructive cycle.

_______________

The team had tirelessly put in every effort to find the missing ex-assassin. When Natasha had taken too long to return to the others, Clint did what was asked of him. He waited until the end of the following day when she had left before telling the others.

With no sightings and no communication from the Avenger, they were at a lost.

4 days had passed, coming close to 5, with no such luck in finding Natasha. Every member of the close-knit team had put in hours and hours on end into locating her; everything had been fruitless. The team had chewed out the archer for not mentioning anything sooner than he had but he had argued that he valued his word and believed Natsha would be fine, that she could look after herself.

They couldn’t argue with him on that.

“I’ve got nothing. We haven’t found shit and it’s been what? 4 days since anyone had last seen her?”

Their hopes in finding her were dwindling quickly, its rate in decrease sped up after the three-day mark. Stark groaned and leant back in his chair, pinching the bridge of his nose tightly between his pointer finger and thumb.

“Honestly, I blame Fury for making us use phones that I can’t hack. We’d find her a lot fucking faster if I could just get into it.”

“Language,” Steve muttered before releasing a lengthy sigh. As he went to open his mouth to respond, Tony perked up, this time looking extremely more optimistic than previous.

“HOLY SHIT!” He spun his chair to face the computer on the desk and began to rapid begin typing. The others watched him with scepticism before slowly moving to crowd the billionaire.

“You wanna explain to the class, Stark?”

“You know how I never listen to Fury?” He heard a collective of hums in agreement before continuing. “Well, when I was encrypting the phones we all use, I may have purposefully left out my location cloaking software.”

“So, you’re saying you can ping her location and you failed to mention this?!” Wanda exclaimed.

“One, ouch. Don’t scream in my ear like a damn banshee, Matilda. Two, I forgot. It’s not like we actually use it.”

The team watched in anticipation as Tonys’ fingers continued to rapidly tap at the keyboard. Moments pass by with bated breaths before a small red dot appears on a map that pops up. They stare at the bright red dot in a prolonged silence before Steve straightens out with a hardened face.

“Let’s move.”

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“I don’t understand. Why San Fransico?”

The statement from Sam was what each of them wanted to voice but none did. Each step through the city was following that damn pinged location. The day before it had been in Washington, the day before that was Oklahoma.

They could be tracking a ghost trail for all they knew, certainly with how quickly the location seemed to switch between states so quickly.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y. Update.”

“Location has remained the same. The Railway Museum is just one block away, sir.”

Tony rolls his shoulders before turning to look towards those who walk with him. He and Steve share a look, already knowing that this is more than likely a trap or mislead.

“Only a few of us will enter. Everyone else is going to surround the building, cover each possible exit. Buck, I want you with me, Sam and Wanda. Clint, you think you can take to a nearby building keep an eye on the roof and the main entrance?”

Clint nodded as Steve doled out orders for the group to follow. With the archers’ non-verbal confirmation, the captain continued.

“Thor, I want you to take the West side of the building with Banner. Pietro, you take East. Stark, I want you to take the back with Vision.” Everyone nods followed by them splitting off in the direction of the respective positions.

Dressed as civilians was helpful with entering the museum; they turned no heads when entering the building. The four inside had separated themselves, hoping to search the interior in record time rather than they be grouped up together.

The comms the team had donned before splitting ways crackled before Tony’s voice sounded through into each team members’ ear. “I’ve had F.R.I.D.A.Y. put the location on each of your phones, make it easier for you guys to know if you’re closing in.”

Simultaneously, Steve, Sam, Wanda and Bucky pull out their smartphones and allow the screen to open up correctly, a simple map of the interior showing a blinking red dot in the centre of the building.

The small team inside opposed to those outside slowly close in to the centre of the museum, covering all sides.

Adrenaline begins to heighten as they inch their way closer and closer. Emotions are running high and minds are swirling with possibilities and before they knew it, they surround the exhibit at the very middle of the building.

A large group being led by some guide moves on with their tour and reveals a lone person still stood there; hood up and phone in hand. Steve glances down at the phone in his own hand and sure enough, the dot hasn’t moved.

This is what they’ve been chasing.

With their head down, both Sam and Bucky who face their front can’t identify who holds the phone, Natashas’ phone.

Between the four, a look was shared and with a nod of their head in the figure’s direction, they begin to slowly close in once more. Wanda, Sam and Bucky slow to a stop, only a short distance away as Steve continues to stalk closer and with a few more steps, he’s stood behind the figure.

He reaches an arm out and clamps his hand down on their shoulder which begins to shake slightly as the person laughs quietly. The person slowly raises their head with a shit eating grin on their face and both Sam and Bucky tense, their jaws clenching, teeth grinding.

Wanda freezes up along with them as the figure slowly turns to face Steve; easily catching a glimpse herself.

“At ease, солдат,” your voice rasps. (Soldier.)

You hand moves quickly to clamp on to the blondes’ wrist and before he could react, you bring your head forward in a quick, whip-like motion, slamming it into his nose; a satisfying crunch is heard and blood already beginning to trickle out.

Twisting his arm, you land a hard kick to his ribs and send him back, him falling to the floor with quite the thud, even sliding across the floor a good foot or two. The others had quickly reacted, Sam and Bucky charging over towards you.

You alternate between the two as they dole out a choreographed offensive; punches, kicks, full body hits. The two had been going a solid minute and had done zero damage, even with Steve standing himself back up on to his feet and charging at you himself.

Wanda had dealt with the screaming and panicked public from the first sign of retaliation, giving firm orders to leave the building and to get a safe distance.

The second the first of the civilians exited the building in a rushed and yelling fashion, the team was on high alert.

“Someone talk to us,” Clint crackled through the comms, his sights down the length of the arrow he already has notched and ready to release.

“It’s Y/N.” Just that simple statement made the whole team know exactly what was currently going down. “They had Natashas’ phone. HYDRA put us on a wild goose chase.”

The grunts from Steve, Sam and Bucky brought Wanda’s head back into the fight at hand. The three were being easily overpowered by just yourself and she’s unsure how to proceed. With quick thinking, she uses her powers to push her teammates aside and away from you, the swirl of red like mist dancing around her fingers.

Your attention snaps from the three that had been thrown away from you to the little witch who stood off to the side. You roll your shoulders and smirk before stomping your way over to her aggressively.

You feel your movements slowly become restricted and it’s harder and harder to move forward. Wanda, with a struggle, brings to down to your knees before you could reach her and all you could do it look up at her with a devious smirk.

Tongue peeking out between your lips, you wet them and trail your eyes up and down the length of her body and the action makes her sick to your stomach. “Som ohromená, princezná.” (I’m impressed, princess.)

She takes step towards you, slow, precise, and what she hoped was menacing. “Where’s Natasha?” she spat between her teeth.

You chuckle darkly and shake her head, noticing how she lacked to remember to keep her distance. “You’re in no position to ask questions, little witch.” With perseverance, your left arm shoots forward, grasping her wrist much like you had done with the caps. Shocked, the moment forces Wanda to lose concertation and drops her magical hold on you.

You swipe at the opportunity and raise to your full height, towering over the Sokovian and delivering a hard right hook to the girl, knocking her unconscious the moment your fist made contact with her jaw.

Turning, you look at the trio of men who look at an unconscious Wanda by your feet with wide and worried eyes. You smirk once more as you pull Natasha’s phone from your pocket and wave it slightly before tossing it in their direction. “Keep it. I’m done with it.”

You take small steps backwards away from the four before turning tail and running, closer and closer to the back entrance.

“She’s heading to you guys at the back,” Steve rushes out, struggling to come to a stand and give chase.

“Understood, capsicle.” Tony and Vison both prepare themselves for your arrival, to burst through the doors and go into combat just like the four inside had done. But they waited and waited and waited. Nothing. “Uh, no sign of her. Anyone got eyes on the slippery bastard?” Stark reaches out to the others.

Sam and Bucky left Americas’ sweetheart and Scarlet Witch with the intentions of cheeking the inside of the building, running around the whole of the museum as the team converse.

“Nothing here.”

“Nope.”

“No clue.”

“Nada.”

“Zilch.”

The team’s response came in like clockwork and the entire team felt baffled. Where did you disappear to?

“So, she just evaporated? What the fuck? Are you sure no one has eyes on her?”

“Look,” Steve started. “As much as I want to find them and get some answers, we gotta focus on Wanda. She’s down.” He was kneeling beside her unconscious form and like a lightbulb being lit from a switch, Pietro was right beside his sister on the opposite side of Steve, absolute panic and concern shifting through his eyes.

Steve hears a sigh through the comms followed by Banners’ voice. “Let’s get back. It’s clear they’ve disappeared somehow, and we should focus on Maximoff right now.”

Steve shakes his head and moves to stand, Pietro already holding his twin in his arms. “Let’s go, team.”

_______________

“Wie ich sehe, können wir ihr Telefon nicht länger als Ablenkung für sie benutzen,” Strucker spoke as his back was turned to you, hands folded behind his back, looking at the painting hung on the wall with disinterest. (I see we can no longer use her phone as a distraction for them.)

“Sie werden sie nicht finden können, auch wenn wir sie nicht mehr auf Gänsejagd führen, Sir,” you respond, you own hands folded behind your back. Your eyes are trained on his form as he slowly turns to face you, casually rounded the desk to stand before you. (They won't be able to find her even if we no longer lead them on such wild goose chases', sir.)

“Hoffentlich nicht, Soldat. Es liegt an Ihnen, wenn sie sie finden.” His eyes look you up and down subtly, scrutinising you before turning away from you and striding over towards his desk. “Es ist jetzt zu heiß für dich, Ghost. Zu viele Leute werden dich nach deinem kleinen öffentlichen Stunt erkennen. Du sollst in der Einrichtung bleiben. Sie bewachen Romanoff und begleiten sie zum und vom Labor. Verstanden?” (They better not, soldier. It will be on your head if they are to find her.) (There's too much heat on you now, Ghost. Too many people will recognise you after your little public stunt. You are to stay within the facility. You will guard Romanoff and escort her to and from the lab. Understood?)

“Verstanden.” (Understood.)

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THIS WAS SO BAD LMAO

I just needed a filler honestly so, this will do for the time being

If you want to be added to the taglist lemme know

Anywho, I hope you enjoy

As always, constructive criticism and requests are welcomed and greatly appreciated :D

_______________

Marvel taglist:

@thanossexual​ @iwazoomingouttahere​ @xxxtwilightaxelxxx​ 

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‘I Watched You Die’ taglist:

@diaryoflife @username23345 @drpepperobsessed @fayhar @d14n4ol @srtamercurio @gabbygabbie @lostandsearching @afuckingshituniverse @thea13sworld @nelouath8 @navs-bhat @pistachiomilk3 @peggycarter-steverogers @b-5by5 @trikruismybitch @anxiousgoldengirl @when-wolves-howl @whitelotus00 @anxiousgoldengirl @daniescady @unexpected-character @lgtftchan @mitch-cabello1097 @wlwfanfictionss @gottacamz​

(Those whose @ is in bold, I could not tag unfortunately.)

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

𝑆/𝑂 𝐺𝑒𝑡𝑠 𝑁𝑖𝑝𝑝𝑙𝑒 𝑃𝑖𝑒𝑟𝑐𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠

Warning: Just suggestive themes, not exactly NSFW.

❥𝓚𝓲𝓶 𝓗𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓳𝓸𝓸𝓷𝓰

"Baby, please come sit on my lap."

It wasn't unusual for Hongjoong to ask you that while you kept him company in the studio. That was code for 'he's having a hard time so please just hold him.' Which you were more than happy to oblige. You sat on his lap, your arms wrapping around his neck. Hongjoong's hand was lightly caressing your sides, just inhaling your scent made his stress go away.

There was something off though. He could feel something strange poking his chest. You weren't wearing anything with studs either, so what was up? You could feel your boyfriend shifting around, trying to figure out what the weird sensation was. You chucked softly.

"Guess you found them."

"Found what?" Hongjoong asked.

Instead of replying, you proceeded to lift up your shirt and reveal the piercings you recently got. Hongjoong looked at them, his face in shock.

"Whoah!........ those were definitely not there the last time I saw your chest." He exclaimed.

You giggled at his reaction. He looked back at you and wiggled his eyebrows

"But I mean, I'm not complaining."

❥𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓴 𝓢𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓱𝔀𝓪

You looked at the freshly made piercings on your chest. They were still hurting and sore since it had only been a few hours. But damn did you feel sexier with them, you were not regretting getting them out of impulse.

"Y/N, have you seen my lint roller? I can't find it any-"

Seonghwa's eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets when he saw you. He kept looking at you then back at your chest simultaneously. He simply pointed at them, too speechless to actually ask you for an explanation.

"I just thought it'd be cool to get them. Are you upset?" You asked.

Seonghwa composed himself and shook his head.

"No! Of course not! I just wasn't expecting that. Do they hurt?"

When he saw you pout and nod, he went mom mode on you. He made sure to help you clean them out so they wouldn't get infected and even bought you loose shirts to help ease your pain. Or if he couldn't personally do it, he'd text you to remind you to take care of them.

But of course, he also couldn't wait till they were finally healed so he could play with them and see what fun he could have with you.

❥𝓙𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓾𝓷𝓱𝓸

"Y/N!"

You heard your giant teddy bear of a boyfriend announce that he was home.

"In here!" You call out from your bedroom.

You heard Yunho rush down the hall, full of energy as usual.

"I hope you're ready for some cuddles cause I want some!" He exclaimed enthusiastically.

"Wait! Yunho-"

But before you could warn him, he was already jumping into bed with you, landing his body on top of yours. You winced a little when his chest made contact with yours.

"Oh my God baby! Did I accidentally hurt you?!" He immediately got off you and looked to see what was wrong.

"Yeah- I mean no! I mean....Ugh! It wasn't your fault. You didn't know."

You sat up and lifted your hoodie up. Yunho was taken aback when he saw your still red nipples have a piercing through them.

"Holy! They look like they hurt!" Yunho cringed just thinking about the pain you probably went through.

"They did. Like a bitch." You replied.

Yunho regained his positive energy back though and promised you:

"Don't worry baby, cause you got your big boyfriend here to help take care of them for you."

❥𝓚𝓪𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓮𝓸𝓼𝓪𝓷𝓰

Yeosang was currently holding you in his lap while you watched a movie. He hadn't seen you since he went on tour and he really wanted to touch you. He was always like this when he went away for too long. He was attached to you, refusing to let you go.

His hands began to innocently roam through your body before gently cupping your chest. You smiled when you realized he felt them. Yeosang began to poke around your chest, wondering what on earth it was. Without warning, he got you off his lap and layed you down on the couch.

"Yeosang! What are you?"

You were shocked when he simply lifted your shirt up to find out for himself what it was. Yeosang stared at your chest silently, keeping his usual poker face. Then he looked back at you.

"Well?" You couldn't bear his silence.

His face lit up instantly and he got the brightest smile on his face.

"They're really pretty." He said as he began playing with the piercings.

He had always loved playing with your nipples, both sexually and non-sexually, so you getting nipple piercings was basically like giving him early Christmas.

❥𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓲 𝓢𝓪𝓷

San was excited to get back home. Not only did he want to see you again, but he knew that now he'd finally get to see in person your pierced nipples.

"Jagiya!"

He enveloped you in one of his tight and warm embraces, kissing your cheeks to no end, until you were practically pushing him away.

"I see you missed me."

He nodded immediately.

"Yes I did, I missed you so much." He admitted.

His fluffy smile then turned suggestive.

"So......do I get to see them now?"

You rolled your eyes, but unbuttoned your shirt nonetheless. You fully expected him to ask you that. You opened up your shirt, letting him gaze at your chest. He squealed and got all giddy.

"Oh my god! They look even better in person!"

He couldn't help himself and started poking at them. He asked you so many questions about when you got them. He was lowkey upset he wasn't there to see you get them, but he can't complain. He has a new toy now.

❥𝓢𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓜𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓲

Mingi's mouth was hanging as he stared at you. You told him you were only going to go get a haircut, and you came back with the news that instead you got nipple piercings.

"How?" He asked.

You shrugged.

"I passed by this tattoo and piercing shop and the idea came up and I thought 'why not'? Look! Isn't it cute though?"

Without warning, you lifted your shirt up, proudly showing off your piercings. Mingi widened his eyes at the sight, but he couldn't deny it: they did look cute. Cute and sexy. He didn't even notice he was licking his lips.

"Damn baby, and here I thought you couldn't possibly get any sexier."

He reached out and tried to touch them, but you slapped his hand away.

"No Mingi! They're still healing so you can't touch them." You explained.

He became a pouty and whiny baby when you said that.

"You mean I have to wait until I can touch them?! That's so mean!"

For the next days, he kept pestering you every day with the question:

"Can I touch them now?"

❥𝓙𝓾𝓷𝓰 𝓦𝓸𝓸𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓰

It also started in one of the many video game nights Wooyoung and you religiously did. You both got so competitive one night that you bet that the loser had to get their nipples pierced. Wooyoung only suggested that in the heat of the moment, not actually meaning it and he most definitely wasn't expecting you to go through with it.

So when you came home a few days later saying you did it, he was like 'did what'? That's when you showed him the nipple piercings and he was flipping his shit.

"Why would you do that?!" Wooyoung exclaimed.

"Loser had to do it!" You reminded him.

"I wasn't being serious! Geez!"

He couldn't believe you actually got them pierced. But the more he stared at them, the more his anger dissipated. They definitely looked hot on you. And he was also kinda jealous of them.

"I'm getting some matching ones as well."

❥𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓲 𝓙𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓱𝓸

Jongho had a huge pout on his face when you showed him your piercings.

"Baby don't you like them?" You asked, wondering why he had that reaction.

He inhaled deeply and crossed his arms over his chest, looking like he was upset.

"Are you mad?" You raised an eyebrow.

Huffing, he stomped his foot.

"You mean to tell me someone else saw you without a shirt on?" He finally spoke up.

You laughed at how cute he was whenever he got jealous.

"Don't laugh! It's not funny!" He whined at you.

"Calm down. The guy was very professional about it." You told him.

"Did he touch you as well?"

You snorted at the question.

"Well....how else was he supposed to get them in?" You chuckled.

Jongho was not having it.

"I'm going to have to break his neck now."

Even though he was extremely jealous of someone seeing you without a shirt and touching you, he really does think they look good on you.

Gifs not mine, credit goes to their respective owners.

[thesightstoshowyou]

Re: milestone event, maybe a continuation of your Tommy fic where one night the reader wakes up all hot thinking of him and finally seeks him out in the middle of the night to take care of it seeing as unfortunately he has yet to bust into the room to take them? Your fic for Tommy and Jason are my FAV just *mwah* fantastic I didn't realize I was into Tommy until you

I like the way you think anon ;)

Sweet Dreams

Thomas Hewitt x F Reader (NSFW)

Part 3

Read Part 2 here

Summary: You wake in the night burning with need. You seek Tommy out, earn his trust, and he repays you in kind. RIP to other guys but Thomas Hewitt is different.

Warnings: FLUFF holy shit, so much fluff, oral, praise kink, squirting, creampie

             Hands, thick, strong hands caress your thighs, spreading you open as you cling to burly shoulders, sweat spilling from your brow until you taste salt on your lips—

             Your eyes pop open. Moonlight spills through the curtains, the only light illuminating your dark room. It’s starting to feel less like a prison cell with every day that passes, but this thought does not bring you comfort. Very little comforts you here, in this house, in this rotting town. Only one thing, one person, prevents you from actively trying to escape….

             You’d dreamt of him again. You grind your thighs together, trying to relieve the deep ache these excruciatingly vivid dreams bring. You have no idea how late it is, or how early. A sigh rushes past your lips. There’s no way anyone is up at this hour and you’re locked in your room until morning. God, you long to go to him.

             The stomp of heavy footfalls coming down the hall reaches your ears. You’d recognize those steps anywhere. Thomas….

             Ripping the covers off your sweaty form, you leap from the bed and cross the room in a flash. Gently, you knock on the door, not wishing to wake anyone else.

             “Tommy?” You ask quietly, praying he hears you. The footsteps abruptly pause just outside your door. You hold your breath as you hear rustling. The lock clicks.

             You step out of the way, letting the door swing open. Thomas fills your doorway, hair still damp from a shower, wearing nothing but a pair of slacks. And the damn mask, of course. It looks as though he’d just thrown it on so he could open your door, one of the straps half-clasped. He’s watching you closely, furrow in his brow, most likely worried something is wrong.

             “Hi,” you whisper with a small smile, “I’m okay. Just wanted to see you.” Thomas glances shyly away at your words and you take the opportunity to drag your gaze over his brawny shoulders, shoulders you’d just been dreaming about digging your nails into. You flush at the memory, suddenly nervous to ask for what you want.

             Instead you close the distance between you, hesitantly reaching up to run your fingers along the slit in Thomas’ mask, brushing the digits over his lips. He tenses, hands coming up to settle timidly on your hips Do you dare…?

             “Tommy,” you whisper, meeting his anxious stare. This is such a sensitive topic. How do you broach the subject without upsetting him? You swallow, “Tommy, I want to kiss you…without this.” You lay your hand against his cheek, thumb stroking the leather of his mask.

             As you’d guessed, his eyes widen and he immediately steps away from you, shaking his head and turning to leave. Anxiously, you bite your lip, slipping your hand into his to keep him from fleeing.

             “Tommy, you have no idea how bad I want you right now. All the time, actually,” you say quickly with a breathy laugh, “How bad I want all of you.” Thomas meets your gaze over his shoulder and you can see he’s frowning again, like he can’t believe you. Your heart breaks, chest constricting painfully.

             You move to him again, pushing up on your tip toes to press your lips to his shoulder before moving to his neck. Deeply, you inhale the sharp scent of his soap as you nuzzle your nose just under his ear. Your hands roam across his chest, fingers tracing all the scars littering his torso. Thomas shudders, arms wrapping around you and pulling you tight against him. He clings to you like a lifeline, just like he had that first day in the cellar.

             “You’re not gonna scare me away. I need you, Tommy, so, so bad. I love the way you make me feel. You…you don’t have to show me right now, but I hope that, someday, you will.”

             Thomas moves to cup your cheeks, cradling your face in his huge palms. He searches your expression, your eyes, looking for a lie, for any hint of teasing. You meet his gaze, willing him to feel your sincerity. Blue eyes drop to your lips and he frowns again. You can see him thinking, weighing the pros and cons.

             He must not find what he’s looking for because you see his eyes soften. Tommy lets out a tremulous breath and you give him a small, reassuring smile. Slowly, so slowly, as though his hands weigh a thousand pounds each, he reaches up to unbuckle the strap of his mask. You grip his shoulders to quiet his trembling.

             Finally, Thomas lowers the mask from his face. You are hyper-aware of your expression, knowing Tommy will miss nothing. You keep your face passive, blank as you examine the missing nose, the lesions and scar tissue along the side of his mouth, his cheek. You wonder what caused it; a deformity? A disease?

             Truthfully, you’d expected much worse. You’d been imagining the potential horrors under that mask from day one. It’s anticlimactic, really.

             Thomas isn’t looking at you. He’s so tense, shoulders bunched under your hands, his eyes fixed on a spot past your left shoulder. You tip your head to the side, cupping his cheek and gently forcing him to meet your gaze. You smile warmly, bringing your other hand up to trace his bottom lip with your thumb.

             “Can I kiss you now, Tommy?” you whisper. Thomas blinks, astonished. He lets out another huge breath and you realize he’d been holding it this hold time. You nod, assuring him you mean the truth, and pop up on your toes again to meet him halfway.

             Shaking, Thomas wraps his arms around you again and presses his lips to yours. You sigh into his mouth, glad to have the barrier gone. You sigh becomes a squeak and a giggle when Tommy lifts you off your feet. You wrap your arms around his neck and your legs around his hips, clinging to him like he does you. The mask lays at his feet, forgotten.

             “Take me to your room?” you murmur, brushing his hair out of the way to kiss the shell of his ear. You don’t have to ask twice. Tommy carries you down the hall, moving as silently as he can so as not to alert anyone else in the house.

             Once safely inside his room, dark but for the moonlight bathing the room in soft light, Thomas gently sets you on the edge of his bed, hurrying across the room to close the door before promptly returning to you. You spread your thighs so he can kneel between them and you pull him flush against you, peppering his bare face with kisses, ending at his lips so you can slip your tongue in his mouth.

             He’s clumsy at first, but Tommy once again proves to be a fast learner, lips and tongue matching your earnest movements. You break away to catch your breath, grinning wide. Biting your lip, you tug your shirt over your head, slowly, so you can make a show of it.

           Reverently, Thomas smooths the palms of his hands up your abdomen, cupping your breasts and timidly leaning in to capture a nipple with his lips. He gives the hardening flesh an experimental suck and you release a hushed moan, fingers tangling in his hair to encourage him.

             He moves to the other side, repeating the action until you buck your hips into him, a whispered, “Oh fuck,” spilling from your parted lips. Eagerly, Thomas eases your shorts off your hips, tossing them away and scooping up handfuls of your ass to pull you to the very edge of the bed. He wastes no time before burying his face between your parted thighs.

             You must clap your hand over your mouth to stifle the surprised moan when Tommy drags his tongue through your folds. He remembers what you like from your teaching session that first day in the cellar. Shockingly fast, he finds your clit and teases it with his tongue. He sucks, licks with the tip and then the flat of his tongue, experiments with different techniques until he finds the ones that makes you squeal behind your hand.

             You cum like that, hand in his hair, Thomas’ fingers digging into your hips while you buck into his mouth. You shudder, legs quivering, toes tingling, cunt dripping onto the floor. Dazedly, you wonder how long he’d been waiting to do that, as enthusiastic as he was.

             “Oh my god, Tommy,” you gasp, sitting up and pulling him into another heated kiss. You taste yourself on his tongue, swallow his needy whine. Hastily, you urge him to stand, popping the button on his pants and shoving them off his hips.

             You scoot back on the bed, pulling him by the hand at the same time until he’s hovering over you. You’re worried you’re going to burn up, your skin ablaze everywhere he touches you. He lifts your hips off the mattress and begins the measured process of pushing his maddeningly thick cock past your soaked folds.

             Your hand returns to your mouth and you wrap your legs around his waist, arching your back when Thomas stuffs you completely full of him. You twitch, free hand fisting in the sheets when he rolls his hips, the incredible stretch now more addictive than painful. You meet his gaze as much as you can in the dark, nodding your head to urge him on.

             “Yes, Tommy, please, so g-good, oh god, just like that,” you whisper, quickly biting down on your lip to stifle a cry when Thomas’ grip tightens and he bucks his hips forward. The hand in the sheets flies to the headboard to keep you from sliding up the mattress as Tommy starts pummeling your insides, using his grip on your waist to pull you into each thrust.

             It’s so hard not to scream, not to wake everyone else in the house when every nerve in your body is alight with sensation, pleasure coiling so intensely in your gut you wonder if you’ll burst. Tommy groans at the feeling of your slippery muscles fluttering around him and that is enough to send you plummeting into ecstasy.

             You come undone, unravelling at the seams, back arching, cunt gushing around the cock that fills it so completely. You bite the palm of your hand to quiet the euphoric shriek that erupts from your throat. Thomas emits a strangled moan as his hips stutter before slamming forward, hilting himself as he fills you to the brim.

             Tommy lowers you back to the mattress before tipping forward, hands braced on either side of your head. You crane your neck, bringing your lips to his, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him down so he rests between your trembling thighs. You chuckle quietly when he sets his forehead against yours, his panting breaths washing over your sweat slicked face.

             “You’re getting too good at that,” you murmur, giggling when he huffs out a laugh. Thomas rolls to the side, pulling you to his chest and resting his chin on top of your head. Gradually, his breathing slows, the deep, rhythmic inhales and exhales lulling you, making your eyelids droop.

             It’s easy to fall asleep in Tommy’s arms. You’ve never felt more secure. You let your eyes fall shut and, before long, you join him in sleep.

[moonlightchildz]

The art of broken love; K.T

writer: moonlightchildz

date published: 03/07/2020

pairings: taehyung x reader

warnings: smut: creampie, fingering, unprotected sex, oral f. receiving, uhh does dirty talk count??, use of drug (weed), & angst

description: you were utterly and irrevocably in love with kim taehyung. problem was that he was your best friend’s ex.

word count: 21.2k (whoops)

His lips are roaming the crook of your neck, tongue sweeping your skin. His hands are placed on the wall that you’re backed into, eyes watching you as you begin to lose yourself into his touch. You’re mewling at just the sensation of his mouth on your skin, hands beginning to tangle themselves into his long, wavy hair. His wet kisses start to trail up your neck, kissing the side of your mouth as you giggle, eyes opening to finally see him.

“Taehyung,” you pull him closer, noses nudging against each other’s. He hasn’t kissed you yet and you’re becoming a tad bit crazier as each second passes since you need to kiss him at this point.

“I love you,” he whispers it out against your mouth, fingers encasing your mouth to keep you close to him. Your eyes widen, fingers becoming numb. “I love you.”

And before you could utter those same words out to him, you woke up.

“Holy fuck,” you panted out heavily, hands trembling as you tried to get yourself together. You glanced around your bedroom, noting that it’s past three am and you feel those familiar tears paint your face once again.

You did not just have a wet dream of fucking your best friend’s ex.

                                               ��            ——

“What’s wrong with you this morning?”

Hyejin eyed you skeptically, innspecting your bodry from head to toe.

“I couldn’t sleep very well last night,” you partially admitted to your best friend. There was no way in hell you were going to tell your best friend you had a dream of being fucked thoroughly by her ex-boyfriend. Oh and let’s not forget the part where he told you he loved you.

“Yeah it looks like you had one fucked up night,” she mused out and you just ignored her for her sake. Instead you dragged your way to the fridge, trying to find something edible to have at four in the morning. Once you finally found your culprit, Frosted Flakes, you decided you needed some bananas in it as well. 

“Why are you still up?” You asked with a mouthful of cereal. Your best friend just kept analyzing you since you knew you probably looked quite sad and vulnerable right now in her eyes.

She immediately grabbed herself a bowl and joined you. “Joon left an hour ago and I just took a shower. I have today off so no worries.”

Regardless if she didn’t have today off, she still would be staying up until her shift started. She was that insanely chaotic.

“Anyway, Joon is coming over so—“

You were already groaning. Whenever Namjoon came over that meant you either slept with your headphones plugged in with all of the high volume on, or spending the night somewhere else that wouldn’t require you to throw yourself out your bedroom window. Namjoon and Hyejin were just so unnecessarily loud when fucking, it was irritating and ruining your much adored sleeping hours. Not to mention that Namjoon was also one of your best friends. In fact, you and that absolute clumsy moron were practically sibling soulmates. So it was definitely weird seeing both of your worlds just collide into one.

“I’m not in the mood to spend the night somewhere else.”

“Actually he’ll be spending the weekend next week so,” she paused, taking your reaction in. You didn’t know what kind of expression she saw on your face, but she hastily began to launch into an apologetic but semi aggressive rant. “Look, his water is gonna be out for the weekend cause he’s reconstructing his bathroom. He was already going to stay at this expensive ass hotel, but I’m not letting him when he can crash here with me.  Also, y/n, he’s your best friend.”

You never had a problem with your best friend’s lovers that is until she started dating the ever so artistically, beautifully, and charismatic man named Kim Taehyung, but that’s another story to tell. Namjoon was a great guy. He was sweet, poetic, and everything a man should be but he was also careless, clumsy, and a complete nimrod. Yeah he was your best friend, but it just weird it you out that these two suddenly started dating a year ago. You remember passing out with Namjoon on your bed after your little drinking session of cheap vodka had escalated. Namjoon was all wrapped up in your covers and you were thrown on him, mouth wide open with drool collecting on our pillow. Hyejin had stormed in and immediately raged. If you could color the way her face looked, it would be more along the lines of an angry, magenta red.

She was screaming ‘how could you do this to me?’ and ‘you know what I’ve been through’ but poor Namjoon was still knocked out, snoring his problems away. She tried coming at you and you just ran away screaming at her to fuck off. By the time she got you, Namjoon was widely awake and ripping her off from you, yelling at her to get away from you. The misunderstanding was cleared up, but you never really forgave her for thinking that you could ever betray her like that. Even when she was with Taehyung, you never once tried to get with him. Your friendship with him was just that, a heartbreaking and one side love that had turned into a beautiful friendship.

And then he left without a trace.

 Snapping out of your thoughts, you immediately launched into your list of do’s and don’ts. “He’s not touching my food, he has to pick up after himself, whatever the hell he breaks he’s paying for or I will drive my foot up his ass so far you’re going to be kissing it goodnight instead, okay?” You smiled rather sweetly at her, but she knew you meant business.

Hyejin was already nodding, launching off her chair to throw her arms around your neck in such excitement. Getting to agree to bring boyfriends over was a cautious decision ever since her last relationship. She was more secretive, more reserved, and wouldn’t overshare anymore. That still didn’t change the fact that you both loved each other so much despite everything. However, Namjoon was your best friend first, so any stupid ideas that she got were immediately shot down by Namjoon and you. Which brings you back to this predicament.

“Thank you, thank you, and thank you!” She squealed in your ear and as much as you loved her, having her scream in your ear at nearing five in the morning wasn’t something you wanted to endure anymore.

“Uh huh,” you sighed and gently pried her off you. With that, you finished your bowl, threw it inside the sink, and bid her a goodnight before you dragged yourself back to bed. You figured tomorrow was going to be a long day at work.

And it was.

 It was filled with reports, your dickhead of a boss assigning you the worse people to work on a proposal that was due next week, and honestly you couldn’t believe you chose this field instead of something you would genuinely like to do. Society had its way of bending you over and fucking you over completely. Thinking about that, you then realized you hadn’t actually fucked anyone in over a year again. It reminded you just how lonely and saddened life had become for you. It only reminded you of him and how much you missed him wholeheartedly. It was honestly pathetic. Stop, you told yourself. Just stop it already.

 If live was a canvas, everything would be shaded in with the grayest and darkest of colors. Splattered paint would angrily cover it, and to soothe the pain it would be with gentle strokes of the softest of white. There were moments in life that you knew the soft white color would turn into a variety of others, it’s just the timing wasn’t right now. And as you wandered aimlessly around the museum, you started noticing your surroundings once you turned the corner and saw a more colorful perspective of art being displayed on the wall. Every single painting looked the same in a sense, but you knew in your eyes that it wasn’t.

 Each stroke, each color, each scheme represented something that the artist itself was trying to portray to themselves, or anyone feeling the same as them. It differed from love, anger, fervor passion, and distinguishable sadness that welcomed you so warmly. It wasn’t until you reached the last painting, when you slowly came to a stop. Everything about it screamed at you, demanding your utmost attention. Because even as the brightest of colors covered the canvas, the picture itself contrasted it. There was two figures. You presumed it was a male and female. One was in the middle shinning as brightly as they can, and the other remained in the shadows. But as you inspected it closer, you realized that it hid in the shadows of her colors, watching her. A hand was spread out and you could see on the palm of his hand was split with her colors, and the other with what seemed to be his.

It was breathtakingly beautiful. And it reminded you of someone so much that you felt something spill from your cheeks. Your hand was trembling as you tried to stop the drops that were falling and you claimed it was just raining. It was.

 It was severely raining inside your soul.

 And then your eyes glanced over at the artist’s name: Silly by Vante

You blinked once, then twice, and then finally you had to lean against the wall to sustain yourself properly. There was no way in hell this could be happening to you right now. There was no way in hell that life could be this cruel to you in this instant. But the shaking in your fingers, the quivering in your lips, and the sobs that were lodged in your throat begged to differ. All you wanted was a distraction, not a wakening alarm. So before you lost your shit, you tried gathering the last remaining bits and pieces of yourself before you lost those too since it had taken ages to collect those when he had left.

You felt a presence behind you and you just wanted to get out of there and breathe. Time felt as if it was slowing down, the ticking began to commence.

A painting by him? Here? Here?

“y/n?”

Your bags slipped from your fingertips. 

You didn’t turn around.

By the sound of just their voice you already knew who it was and honestly you felt your heart and mind were just playing tricks on you. Your mind knew what your heart needed and it was simply giving it to you in a sense of a vague memory of him. You were going batshit crazy.

“I know it’s you,” he spoke up after a moment and that confirmed it.

He was actually here. He was actually here.

You hadn’t seen him, or even spoken to him after your best friend broke up with him. He had vanished out of your life the second they were done and even though you told yourself several of times that he wasn’t yours to even yearn for, your heart didn’t give a fuck. In the wake of an ending relationship, a friendship had blossomed between you and him. So in a way it was like a break up to you too. You had lost someone special in your life and you didn’t even get to say goodbye. You didn’t get to say goodbye to him, or your pending feelings for him.

No matter how hard you tried to sustain yourself, you didn’t want to turn around. Because once you turned, you’d have to face reality and you weren’t exactly prepared for that in that instant. Your eyes were set on the wall, tears prickling. Don’t cry you weak little bitch. Suck it up and breathe. It was the beating of your heart and the jitters that reminded you that you were indeed alive and still breathing despite everything. And it was screaming, ‘he’s back’ with such intensity. With a deep breath, you slowly turned around.

He was carrying shopping bags in both hands. His hair was matted up as usual, but there was now a gleam in his eyes like never before. You noticed his hair had gotten longer, strands of dark brown hair covered his eyes. His beige cotton sweater complimented his skin so well and fit so loosely on him. Not to mention those brown plaid pajama pants that he would wear every day because he claimed ‘it’s fashionable these days’ and ‘look! It matches everything I wear’. But despite his physical exterior changing, the way his eyes shone immediately whispered to your aching heart that he hadn’t.

Taehyung. My Taehyung.

Out of all the days he could show up, it just happened to be that same day he had surprised you in your dreams. It happened to be the day you had wandered inside the museum you had met him in two years ago.

 “Beautiful isn’t it?”

 You were utterly speechless. “I’ve always loved the concept of the sun, moon, and the stars. It’s sort of a love triangle between them. You know the story of how the sun died every night just to let her breathe? Well, the stars make the essence of the sky. It unifies them, ties them together and makes them even more beautiful. But people think of stars separately. They don’t see the stars with the sun and the moon even though they should be.”

 The stranger turned to look at you. “Have you ever considered that the stars alone don’t need the sun and the moon? They are their own separate entity. They shine brightly with, or without them.”

 “They are uniquely beautiful. And the whole romance between the sun and the moon is bittersweet since yeah they were once together in a sense, but they don’t complement each other. The stars do.”

   You had missed him so dearly and now he was just a few feet away from you, looking toned and practically glowing. In that second, you felt your body go numb and haywire simultaneously. All of these thoughts whirled inside your mind as your body stay put in its place because he was right there. All you wanted to do was cry and be welcomed back into his arms. Your heart yearned for it as all of the memories that you created with him overwhelmed you once again.

  It was summer again.

You were laying on his lap, babbling away some nonsense since you were drunk. Taehyung on the other hand was just amusingly watching you, responding back to you and even questioning you more. Your best friend had already fallen asleep on his bed, leaving you both alone in the dark as you both softly whispered to each other. Empty glasses of wine stood on the outdoor table along with a jar of weed, and there was your bong sitting beside it.

“You’re so cute,” he bopped your nose and you rolled your eyes. You tried swatting his hand away but instead he just pinched the bridge of your nose softly.

“If I’m so cute, then why am I still single,” you whined out and Taehyung just softly chuckled. “You know, whenever I see you and Hyejin I get a little sad.”

“I’m sorry.” He immediately responded, but you hadn’t caught that.

“But it’s because I’m reminded that I don’t have anyone to kiss, or hug, or even share something with. I mean for fucks sake, I haven’t fucked anyone since—” you counted your fingers and whined some more upon realizing just how long you’ve been dry. “Oh my god it’s been a year.”

Taehyung quirked an eyebrow. “I find that very hard to believe.”

“Me too.” You agreed and Taehyung remained silent. Curious upon his silence, you glanced up to see him intently gazing down at you. It was as if he was caught in his own thoughts. His finger delicately traced the underside of your chin rather gently and as you both continued to speak in hush whispers to each other, you wondered what went on that pretty head of his when it came to you. Deep in your heart you knew the reason why you hadn’t let another person touch you intimately. They just weren’t him.

  The way you both greeted each other had become a routine even.

“Hey there, silly.” He greeted you quite enthusiastically, arm slinging over your shoulders. He pulled you towards his side and you made yourself comfortable, a smile already laced on your lips.

“Hey there you twat,” you happily chirped out but Taehyung had another set of plans since he teasingly ruffled your hair and you whined, hitting his chest rather harshly. 

“Oh no, no!” He was quick in stopping the both of you. From behind, you could feel his warm hands slide over your sides before wrapping his arms around you, spinning you around as you began laughing and telling him to stop.

 The feeling of his hands on your skin kept you wide awake for nights.

   “What are we doing tonight by the way?”

You glanced over at Taehyung who was already awaiting your answer. The both of you were on the couch side by side. There was a respective amount of distance between the two of you in the beginning, but then a fighting footsie battle had initiated and you were leaning on his shoulder now, watching him play on your Playstation 4.

“You sir,” you tapped his nose to try and gain his attention. “Have a date with Hyejin tonight, remember?”

He squinted, tilted his head back, and made a motion of opening his mouth to bite your finger rather than answering. You just shoved him back by the push of your hand on his forehead. It was after a couple of minutes later that he decided to say, “That doesn’t mean we can meet later? I wanna show you my new playstation.” He then pouted as you started shaking your head.

“Can’t. She told me she had a special surprise for you so,” you smiled, though it didn’t exactly meet your eyes this time. “I’ll be staying at Namjoon’s tonight.”

“Oh,” His movements on the controller suddenly slowed down, attention span lost. “Namjoon? You mean that dorky professor who everyone has a crush on?”

“You mean the dweeb that is my best friend?” you corrected him, finding it amusing that everyone around you did in fact have a crush on Namjoon. “Yeah.”

“Right.” He drawled out, clearly not buying it. 

“Anyways, I have to get ready for work soooo,” You ruffled his hair and quickly ran past him because you knew he would follow you and tickle you endlessly. From behind your closed door, you heard him whine in return.

“MY HAIR.”

“Have fun on your date!” You shouted instead, softly giggling to yourself like a school girl.

“I’ll try.” He quipped and you were left there wondering if he meant it, or if he was genuinely playing around.

 And then, there was that one night that changed everything around you.

Hyejin had been pestering you about your love life, trying to interrogate you as to why you were always so single and lonely. It did aggravate you at times. It felt as if she was pouring salt and lime all over your wound, but there was one night where she had set up a blind date with someone who you were definitely not interested in knowing at all. She wanted you to tag along to her and Taehyung’s date. You obviously declined, but it’s not like she ever listened in the first place.

“I don’t wanna go,” you told her, but she was not having it.

“I worked hard for this night and you Miss are not going to ruin it.”

“Dude, just go without me. I’m sure you rather not spend time alone with Tae.”

She stopped swirling the batter she was keen on making for pancakes. Something about the way she glanced over you, as if something was at the tip of her tongue should have raised concerned. Slowly, she prompted, “Tae?”

You on the other hand were carelessly flipping over your notebook, trying to review your notes for exam season that was quickly approaching. “Your boyfriend?” you told her, pouting once you realized your head was hurting beyond belief.

“I never knew you and him were that close,” she noted, eyebrows furrowing a bit.

“Well, that’s what happens when you’re a third wheel in your best friend’s relationship,” you carelessly joked, but she didn’t laugh. She just stayed silent.

You figured it was the nerves since she always tended to get very easily irritated whenever something important was coming up. Her anniversary with Taehyung was just weeks away and she was racking her brain for ideas. And since you were her best friend, you obviously had to hear it and even voice your opinions. It was definitely some cruel and twisted joke. However, after that day she never spoke to you about Taehyung anymore.

Then the date night came.

“Tae is here,” you notified Hyejin once you received his text to open the door.  She was prancing around the room, trying to make sure she looked like perfection when in reality she already was. Your best friend was honestly beautiful inside and out, no wonder Taehyung was so in love with her.

You were about to step out to let Taehyung in to let her continue getting ready when Hyejin spread out her arm, stopping you from walking out of your room. You blinked twice, trying to understand what was happening.

“My boyfriend is here so I go first,” she tried joking, passing past you before you could walk out into the living room. You simply stepped aside and signaled her to walk before you. You figured it was just the nerves.

“You look gorgeous,” you overheard Taehyung tell Hyejin. She giggled quite loudly and you glanced over your phone, definitely not having it tonight. Maybe you could pretend you were sick?

“Where’s y/n?” Taehyung suddenly asked, his deep voice making its way into your heart.

At the sound of your name slipping past his lips, your nerves simmered down. You could do it. It was just one night that you had to endure. Everything would be okay. Without a much glance at yourself, you began walking into the living room to accompany them. You were texting Wheein and Yongsun, trying to find their encouragement words as motivation for tonight.

“Wow,” was what made you look up from your phone as soon as you stepped foot inside the living room. Wow indeed. Taehyung was so insanely handsome in rendered you speechless. His short hair had been permed like he had told you he would do it and you wondered how it would feel like against your fingers. He wore a light grey long overcoat that covered the creamy-white dress shirt that molded to his body like second skin. His dress pants made his ass stand out and you noted the rings that decorated his hand so prettily. His pretty dark brown eyes was all that you could think of in that moment.

“We’re matching,” Taehyung grinned, eyes firmly set on your eyes now.

You glanced down at yourself and laughed, because yes, you both were matching. A creamy white champagne high low dress complimented your body. The straps hung loose on your arms where you decided to put a bracelet and to compliment it you wore rings on your fingers. The jacket that you had on was a light grey color and your curly hair had been pinned up by the sides.

Taehyung’s grin was endless that it made your heart flutter.

“You look really beautiful,” he said and you wondered if the smile you instantly let on your face screamed the evident feelings you had for him.

“She would have looked better in another dress.” Hyejin spoke up, eyes raking your body from head to toe. “Also those heels are old and worn out. You wanna wear some of mine instead?  You know the ones that Taehyung gave to me?”

“No,” you shook your head, still smiling. “I wouldn’t want them to get dirty, or worse trip and break them.”

Taehyung’s grin slowly morphed into a disappointed frown. He glanced over at his girlfriend, eyebrow quirked. In return you glanced her way and then back at Taehyung who seemed to be getting irritated as each minute passed.

“So, are we just gonna stare at each other, or can we leave already? Your date is already waiting for you over there, y/n.” She said, eagerly signaling you to walk out before them.

Taehyung began coughing, hands turning an awful white from how hard he was curling his fist. And Hyejin immediately started spluttering out, “Babe, are you okay? Would a kiss make it better?”

And that was your cue for you to let them be. You grabbed Taehyung’s keys from the couch and then you simply told them you would wait in the car, leaving them inside. They took quite a while to come down, but once they joined you inside you noticed there was a certain tension between them, and it was starting to suffocate you.

“Oh, fuck I forgot my purse in my apartment. y/n, go get it.”

“No,” you flatly responded. “You go get it. It’s cold and I’m being dragged out to this, remember?”

“Boo,” she pouted and then sighed heavily. “I guess we’re not going anywhere then.”

“Hyejin,” Taehyung suddenly spoke out, his patience wearing thin. “Are you good? Why are you acting so bratty lately? If y/n doesn’t wanna go then—”

“Leave her out of this,” she gritted out, surprising you momentarily. “She is fine. I’m the one who is not. I’m fucking cold, you know, your girlfriend? So can you go get my purse and my jacket?”

Taehyung inhaled deeply, face remaining stoic before he calmly exited out of the car. She watched him slowly walk back up the stairs and you remained silent for a bit, trying to figure it out how to approach your best friend without pissing her off furthermore.

“Hyejin, what’s wrong?”

“I’m fine, y/n.” She snapped and you bit down on your lip, restraining yourself from provoking her. The last thing you needed was a fight between the two of you. He came back after ten minutes and once he started driving, you sighed. Hyejin started talking to him then, animatedly telling him how the guy was a perfect for you and she couldn’t wait for you to meet him. She even joked about getting rid of you finally.

“Now Taehyung will be able to finally spend the night again.”

Except her plans backfired for that night since your blind date didn’t have the nerve to cancel last minute. Though that didn’t hurt you as much as watching them together in front of you. Hyejin clung on to Taehyung, seductively muttering nonsense into his ear but his eyes were set on you. Yeah having to endure them together was something you had to put up with since that was your best friend, but just the realization that he’ll never be yours to love wholeheartedly did the trick that night.

You remember excusing yourself and rushing into the bathroom stall where your tears were hidden from everyone in that moment. You clung on to your dress, eyes blurry as you felt your heart break further more. Your back was against the stall and you were huddled into your own bitter demise because why? Out of everyone in this goddamn world did you have to fall for someone who belonged to someone else? 

“Get yourself together, bitch.” You sniffled out, trembling hands beginning to wipe away your tears. “You’re no pussy, hoe.” 

Once you repeatedly told yourself that mantra, you gathered your shit together temporarily. You hastily splashed water on your face, trying to erase evidence of your downfall since you couldn’t handle looking at yourself anymore. After a couple of minutes of just resting your forearms on the sink, head between your arms, you reminded yourself that you could just go home. You would excuse yourself from their date, leave in an Uber, and go to Namjoon’s since you didn’t want to handle Hyejin. Not whenever you were so close to breaking.

The moment you stepped foot outside though, you spotted Taehyung pacing back and forth, talking to himself. He was running his fingers through his hair, tugging at it insistently.

“Tae?”

He stopped at the sound of your voice, hands falling to his sides as he turned to face you.

“Hey there silly,” he softly spoke upon seeing you. He was quick to approach you and you allowed him to pull you close into his arms, inhaling his sweet scent. You allowed yourself the comfort as his hands caressed your back. “I’m sorry she put you up to this. I told her you weren’t comfortable.”

You allowed yourself to curl up further into his embrace, hands sliding underneath his arms, digging into his shoulder blades. You felt as if you were crumbling and he was here collecting your pieces, helping you remain intact for a little longer.

“It’s okay, I’m just tired really.” You croaked out, genuinely feeling drained in that moment. “I’m just tired of constantly having to fight myself for something that is out of my control.”

“We’re leaving okay? I’m going to take you to that stupid noodle place you love so much and play that dumb board game that you’ve been wanting us to play. I think we have some left over face masks, too. And of course your favorite thing in the world?”

“Weed?” you hopefully asked and Taehyung just laughed.

“On a serious note,” he began murmuring it out, “I’m sorry you had to deal with that unsympathetic asshole, but in reality I’m sorry for him. He missed out on an amazing woman who lights up her surroundings with just a glance of her eyes.”

“You’re too kind sometimes, Kim Taehyung,” you softly told him. Please stop.

He slowly bent down, eyes set on you now. His hands framed your face so tenderly and you swore fate was cruel to you. “I’m being 100 percent honest with you right now. You are such an amazing person and I—”

He suddenly halted. You could feel the way his hands curled around your face, fingertips slowly tracing your skin. The way he was gazing at you and tenderly touching you made your heart flutter. It made forgetting him ridiculously harder than it already was.

“If I were an artist, I wouldn’t hesitate to make as many portraits as it takes to make you realize just how beautiful you are.”

“But you are an artist,” you immediately interject, not having it. Taehyung was an incredible artist, but he always claimed he was the contrary. He didn’t really see the talent that he possessed, but in your eyes he was the next Van Gogh. After all, he had painted your world in a variety of colors.

He laughed softly to himself, and instead of saying more, he simply pulled you back into his arms. The moment you felt his lips trace your head something strange had happened. As he held you in his embrace, your fingers curled into his shirt, the desire to kiss him becoming incredibly stronger than remembering that he wasn’t yours. But as he reassured you with the sweetest of words, you realized you were utterly and irrevocably in love with Kim Taehyung.

 It was a few weeks later after the date night when Taehyung had called you at exactly seven in the afternoon. You weren’t alone in the apartment since Hyejin was preparing herself for the ‘happiest night of her life’ as she claimed. She was bragging and constantly telling you about it to the point where your heart and mind connected to tuning her out whenever she did. Instead, your thoughts rewind it back to that night. That night when you realized just how deeply your feelings for him were coursing through your veins. Ever since then, you hadn’t seen him.

Then as soon as you were tucked inside your covers, heartbroken, and ready for bed, his unexpected call came through. You didn’t even say hello before he was sputtering out, “Can you come over? Please? I-I need, um, it’s an emergency.”

He hung up after that. All kinds of scenarios formed in your mind in that instant. Was he hurt? Did he finally realized he no longer wanted you in his life? Maybe he needed help in picking out his outfit for the perfect night tonight. So with your pjs on, you slid on a hoodie and secretly left without telling your best friend anything. Either way she didn’t notice.

“You actually came,” Taehyung spoke up, sounding weak and even relieved in a sense.

You mustered up a tiny, but genuine closed lip smile. “Of course, dummy.”

“I thought you were ignoring me,” he said, pausing afterwards to see you. His eyes trailed your body from head to toe, a tiny grin replacing the worried frown he had earlier.

“Shut it,” you immediately told him, huffing. Yes, you were wearing mickey mouse pajama pants, and yes Taehyung was grinning widely now.

“This isn’t even about me so—” you stopped talking once you realized just how distraught he really seemed. “Tae, what the hell happened to you?”

His hair was everywhere, dark heavy bags underlined his eyes, and all over his clothes was splattered paint. Without even intending so, you quickly approached him. Your hands were framing his face before you could detain yourself, eyes roaming his features. He had purple, green, pink, gold, and blue paint adorning his handsome face.

“Hey,” with a soft whisper, you demanded, “talk to me.”

He simply responded back with his beautiful, signature, boxy smile. “I rather show you instead.”

Confused, you glanced up at him and he just pulled you closer to him. His hand pressed against the back of your head, hugging you fully now. And you just complied with your hearts desires and inhaled deeply his scent. Your hands tentatively wrapped around his sides, ear placed directly against his beating heart.

“Thank you for coming,” he softly spoke to you and you hummed in peace. “You made me realize what I finally need to do now.”

Of course, after all, you were in love with him. You would do anything in order to retain that beautiful smile of his, even if it meant breaking your own heart in the process. Because the person who was responsible for his happiness, for that smile, and for his heart was someone else.

“Come,” his voice rumbled throughout his chest and you nodded, your heart sighing. He was pulling away from you, slowly, and you found yourself not wanting to let go. You found yourself wishing you didn’t feel this way about your friend, about your confidant, and about your best friend’s boyfriend but the heart wants what it wants.

“Someone missed me,” Taehyung mused out, glancing down at you. His arms immediately went back around your body, wrapping you up so warmly against him in a way that made your heart stammer beyond control.

“As much as I love this,” he chuckled, his deep, honey like voice sounding like a melody in your ears. “I’ve been working on this for weeks and it’s really important.”

“Okay.” You let go of him, reminding yourself where your place should be. You shyly glanced up at him and found him already looking at you. He didn’t say anything else, instead, his fingers tentatively interlocked with yours.

The feeling of his hand sliding and interlacing with your own, only enhanced everything around you. You felt dizzy and lightheaded from just being near him, but now he was holding your hand as he led you through his apartment.

Taehyung unlocked a door that had always been secured. He didn’t even allow Hyejin to see what was in there, much less go into the said room. You slowly followed behind, curious eyes taking in every detail. All around the three walls, paintings were hung. The only light that was being portrayed was by the wall to wall sliding doors. The room was painted with beige colors, and next to the doors you could see pillows and blankets strewn. Alongside stood bottles of water, wine, and his color palette that had been heavily used judging by the colors that were grimy and mixed together.

“Okay but these paintings are beautiful as fuck, holy shit.” You were in absolute awe that you let go of his hand first. “Can I?” you whispered out, unsure if it was okay to taint his pretty art with your touch.

He simply smiled.

So you went around the room, curious eyes taking in every detail because Taehyung had taken seconds, minutes, hours, days, or even weeks out of his life to pour his soul into these canvases and convert them into his own art. You gazed in fascination since he managed to mix every color together, creating these contracting meshes into one. It depicted him so well, and you felt an overwhelming pride upon seeing these because he finally painted.

It was the last painting that made you stop and really take time and depth into analyzing it.

“Do they remind you of something?” He was behind you, probably just a couple of inches away from you since you could feel his warm breath fan the back of your neck.

You tilted your head, trying to decipher what it meant. The painting was eccentric from the start. In the background the colors were shaded in dark monotone colors but in the center of the painting there was a figure that resembled a woman that was outlined with soulful colors. Hues of pinks, blues, yellow, green, and everything in between surrounded the figure that happened to have their eyes closed with a smile. As you sank to your knees to get a closer view, you traced the stars in the background with your fingertips. Something about it reminded you of something but you couldn’t quite put your finger on it yet. Stars? The moon and the sun were parallel to each other. The stars were everywhere though, outshining them both in a sense. An overwhelming emotion clouded your senses once seeing the painting as a whole. The woman was painted beautifully.

“It was the first time we met,” he quietly explained and you felt the air in your lungs rapidly leave your body. “At the art exhibit. I remember you telling me about how you’re stupidly obsessed with the concept of stars, the moon, and the sun.”

“Is that...” you swallowed thickly, hysteria bubbling up inside of you. No, no, it couldn’t be what you were thinking.

“Read the back of it,” he softly spoke behind you.  

“I-I,” you started blubbering out, your eyesight momentarily blurring for a second. As your finger traced the stars, you felt the sob lodged in your throat threatening to spill out.

Silly.

“What’s wrong?” Taehyung was quick to pick up on your mannerisms. He seemed concerned upon seeing the tears in your eyes once you turned around to face him.

“You idiot,” you simply muttered out before launching yourself at him. Arms winded around his neck and Taehyung softly chuckled before wrapping his strong arms around you. You inhaled his scent, finding comfort in his arms and just him overall.

“Thank you,” your voice was muffled out by his clothing. “Thank you.”

“It’s yours, if you want it.” He softly spoke out, chin on top of your head. His thumb was rubbing soothing circles on to your exposed skin, humming along to whatever song was on his mind in that moment.

You simply nodded, afraid if you spoke something else would end up happening in that moment. Your quivering lips ghosted over his exposed skin, hot breath fanning against his chest. His movements stopped suddenly, and you could feel him inhale sharply. Your fingers were digging into his sides, tears beginning to stain his shirt now.

“I—” you choked out, not really finding the right words to say to him.  

“Please don’t cry,” he begged you, his hands cupping your cheeks. You could feel his hot breath fan against your lips. His nose nudged against yours and you felt a dizzying spell overwhelm your soul upon being so close. He was tantalizing you without even meaning to. Just by the way his breath ghosted your face, your mind had wiped clean your conscious. He was so close. He was just there. His fingers were tangling into your hair, unspoken words being desperately told with just a flickering of eyes between the two of you.

“You are so undeniably, bewitchingly, ethereally beautiful.” He softly confessed against your mouth. You felt the murmur of his lips against yours and it just enhanced his lovely words into your heart. The pad of his finger softly ghosted over your bottom lip and you didn’t realize how utterly close the both of you were until you felt the erratic beating of his heart. Your fingers wandered up his arms, suddenly stopping once they were around his neck.

“y/n, I—” he breathed out, his lips slowly and just inches away from finally meeting yours. Your eyes were fluttering to a close, almost allowing yourself to finally dive head into what was Kim Taehyung, but just as your heart almost gave up on you, your mind thought of something immediately.

“Hyejin,” you threw out, eyes widening. Hyejin. Images of your best friend flickered in your brain, the red warning flags finally slapping you back to reality. A reality where Kim Taehyung was not yours and will never be yours. His heart belonged to someone else.

“Oh fuck,” he suddenly blurted out as you were pushing him away from you. The both of you instantly fell apart in that moment. Shame quickly took a whole of you now and the mortification and guilt was just eating you away as you tried to avoid Taehyung’s gaze.

“I think it’s time for me to go,” you shakily said, your heart breaking with each word you uttered out.

Taehyung had his eyes screwed shut, his hands hastily tugging at the roots of his hair in what seemed desperation. “I, uh, I actually have to meet up with her.” He said as an afterthought, and then his eyes widened. “Oh fuck, I have to go pick her up in twenty minutes.”

He glanced your way and you simply did not look at him at all. After all, you were just seconds away from kissing him and rendering straight into his arms. Your feelings had begun to control you and that had become incredibly dangerous now. You knew deep in your heart that you needed to get away from him because you were sure the next time you wouldn’t remember Hyejin. But that’s what happens when you’re trapped with the person you’re in love with. Feelings tend to tangle you up, choking you up until you’re forced to breathe because you’re suffocating on the inside from all the kept up emotions.

Despite everything, you were already demanding him, “Taehyung, go get showered and dressed.” You didn’t even spare him a glance as you walked past him. Your hands were trembling, head whirling, and broken pieces leading from Taehyung’s hands to wherever you were heading into now.

“Hey, wait.” He was trailing after you, hand encasing your arm to stop you. He held you back, managing to spin you halfway from the sudden momentum. His eyes were pleading, feet unconsciously nearing you. “Please, look at me. We need to talk abo—”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hold you back like that.” You blurted out, your trembling fingers taking off his hand from your skin. It was too much. You wouldn’t even dare to look him straight in the eye because you knew you were bound to cry and spill everything that your heart was just aching you to at this point.

“What?” he sounded incredulous, eyebrows furrowing as he slowly said the following words, “Don’t you ever apologize for spending time with me. I love being around you.”

Despite everything, you meekly wondered, “Really?”

His fingertips were already marking their way into your skin, comforting you without him meaning to. “So much that you make me forget life altogether.”

It was so messy. You wondered when everything in your life had become such havoc. How everything had spiraled out of control and you no longer were in reign over your emotions. The moment Kim Taehyung pranced into your life, you knew you were bound to be fucked. You didn’t expect to fall so in love with your best friend’s boyfriend. You just didn’t expect such heartbreak in return after this moment.

“Taehyung,” you croaked out, tears slipping past your cheeks. “I—”

“What is it?” He tried nearing you, but with each step he took you backtracked. “Just tell me already. I know you fee—”

“Hyejin,” was all you could muster out. You couldn’t do that to her. No way.

I love you, but you are not mine to love Kim Taehyung. At least, not in this lifetime.

You flung his hand away from you, already walking away from him, muttering out, “I’ll see you around.”  

 That same night you trailed your broken hearted soul back to Namjoon’s penthouse. His keys dangled on your fingers, mocking you with each step you took towards your own demise. He wasn’t there so that made it even worse. Namjoon had been your comfort, best friend, and soulmate since the first time you both met. In fact, your friendship was stronger than yours and Hyejin’s combined. Unfortunately though, he wouldn’t be there to hold you tonight and you decided it was okay. You figured you’d cook for the both of you whenever he decided to come back from girlfriend number four.

You knew going back to your place was a big, fat, fucking no. After all, Taehyung and Hyejin were probably celebrating their first grand anniversary together and you didn’t want to be there. No one wanted to witness who they were irrevocably in love with be someone else. It just reminded you of the heartbreak, sadness, and tears all over again. Sighing, you made your way inside, going into Namjoon’s room to retrieve your left over clothes from last time to change into. You didn’t want to be in clothes where Taehyung had left his mark on.

Fortunately for you though, Namjoon had arrived quite early from his date.

“I thought you weren’t going to be here.” You said with a mouth full of mint chocolate ice cream. Even though Namjoon despised that flavor with all the fiber in his body, he still always went out to retrieve some from you.

“I had a feeling you’d be a mess tonight so I brought this,” he said, lifting a recycling bag. His dimples were showcasing, eyes slightly squinted from how cutely he was smiling. “I went grocery shopping so we can make pasta!”

“Oh, well I made your favorite a while ago as well. How about you roll up this—” you brought up the baggy that was filled with weed. “And serves us some wine while I cook the pasta?”

He sighed, hand over heart as he melodramatically said, “Sounds like utter heaven.”

And that’s exactly what happened. He sat across from you, legs crossed with a blunt in his hand as he waited for his pasta to slightly cool down. You were already gone, loving the hazy effect it had on you. Soft music was playing and you were doing okay, but then a particular song came on that made you remember him all over again.

“I don’t know the situation between you and him, but it has you fucked over so badly. I’ve never seen you so head over heels over someone, much less a man.” Namjoon suddenly spoke up after watching you. There were tears already brimming in your eyes as you tried to blink them back.

“If I told you who it was you wouldn’t be this nice to me.” You quietly muttered out, avoiding his curious gaze. But you kept on forgetting who you were talking to after all. Namjoon was always one step ahead of you, he was only giving you space.

“You are my best friend, you idiot.” He fiercely reminded you, arms wrapping around you. “I know you like the back of my hand so whoever it is I know you’re not doing it on purpose to hurt yourself, or anyone else.”

“He’s just different. I don’t know what made me just fall into oblivion for him, but he makes me feel safe, secured, and at home.”

“But?”

You glanced down at your hands, heart aching to the point where you just wanted it to stop. “But he’s not mine, Namjoon. He belongs to someone else, and they are just so in love with each other.”

“It’s Taehyung isn’t it.” He didn’t ask, rather he stated it. At this point you weren’t going to deny it. After all, you were hell bent on not seeing him anymore after today. It was for the best. Your silence however spoke rather than your own words could. Tears were staining your cheeks, a choked up sob escaping from your lips. You hastily covered your mouth with your hands to prevent anymore, eyes screwing shut as the pain coursed through your body.

“C’mere,” Namjoon gestured you towards him and you instantly wrapped yourself around him like a koala. You leaned your head against his chest, your eyes fluttering to a close as he began to rock you in his arms, whispering sweet nothings into your ear.  You wondered how you had lucked out with finding Namjoon. If you hadn’t, you wouldn’t feel and be this safe in his arms. This love you felt for him reminded you of how strong your bond was with him. He’d do anything to protect you just as you would as well. And right now seeing you sob against his chest broke your soulmate apart.

“Love is a bitch, y/n. But one thing I know is that if it’s meant to be, then it’s worth fighting for…the right way that is. Right now I know you feel this intense fervor of love you have for him won’t go away anytime soon, but I promise you it is.  Put some distance between you and him. If you find yourself going back to him, then all I can tell you is to talk to him. Talking does wonders, baby. ”

“It’s easier said than done. Also, Hyejin is my best friend and are you forgetting that Taehyung is still in love with her?”

He remained quiet. If Namjoon voiced out his real thoughts, he was sure he would just ignite the fire within your heart. So he sufficed with just holding you in his arms because this was the support you needed in this moment. You needed someone who could hold you and see through you. He figured Taehyung had dug deep beneath the depths of your secured heart and he wanted nothing than to go and ruin their precious little celebration. Regardless, he just hoped Taehyung was taken out of your life so you could get a whole of yourself again.

After midnight, your phone had begun to ring insistently. You were deep asleep, curled up in his covers as Namjoon stared at your phone. ‘Taehyungieee’ was the name flashing on the screen. Namjoon wondered what he wanted from you. No sane boyfriend would be calling their girlfriend’s best friend this late. He wondered just how you had developed these feelings for him and the answer was staring at him right on the face. The picture it flashed along with his name was you and him. You were on Taehyung’s back, arms lazily wrapped around him as you did bunny ears on him. His eyes were closed, but the huge grin plastered on his face made it evident that he was incredibly happy around you.  

So Namjoon grabbed a hold of your phone and answered the call.

He was already sputtering out nonsense as soon as he answered the call. “I know it’s late, but I need to tell you something. I—I, I did something tonight and the only person who I only want to see in this moment is you. I don’t know what I was thinking, but today just reassured me that you—”

Namjoon was having none of it. “She’s with me, Taehyung.” He sharply cut him off, anger evident in his voice. “So I suggest you to stop playing with her feelings before I personally go over to your place and beat the fuck out of you. I don’t wanna hear any of your bullshit when all you’ve done is hurt her recklessly. Leave her the fuck alone, you don’t deserve her.”

Namjoon hung up. Your phone was tossed somewhere behind him after he deleted the call. He sighed into his hands. Now he knew why. He wondered if Hyejin knew too. He wondered if she was okay because you surely weren’t and you weren’t even his girlfriend. He glanced over at you, wondering when your heartbreak would end.

 A week later, Taehyung had packed up everything and left. And in his wake, he had taken your heart with him too, the red string of your love attached to it, tangling until it was just a huge ball of sorrow.

  And it goes back to now.

It’s him who breaks the silence. You watched as he calmly bent down to drop his bags on the ground and once he stood up again, his dark brown eyes met yours. He seemed hesitant in approaching you at first, but you felt yourself take a step closer to him involuntarily. You honestly could not believe it.

“Taehyung,” you finally acknowledged him, eyes meeting his. The way he gazed at you reminded you of the time in the hallway where he was declaring to you so many beautiful words and you had realized you were fucking in love with him.

He slowly inched closer, his hands twitching at his sides. It was him who took the final step, his arms slowly raising rather tentatively. A flicker of eyes was exchanged between the two of you, almost fleeting. Your fingers were already raising, yearning to touch him because you just had to make sure that this was real. However, the second his hands met your skin, reality had set in. Eyes widened, breathing had halted, and Taehyung’s arms were pulling you into his embrace so desperately. You practically lunged yourself at him, all teary eyed and with quivering lips spilling his name.

“It’s been a while since I’ve seen you,” he breathed out, his hot breath raising goosebumps all over your body. “And I missed you so much.” He whispered it out, but you heard it so loud and fucking clear. You dug your face into the crook of his neck, hands inches away from the nape of his hair that had gotten longer. Your side was curled up into his, eyes closed to keep the feeling of this moment engraved in your heart.

His hand was placed at the back of your head, keeping you in place in his arms. Your fingers dug into his skin, your mind trying to wrap around the idea that he was indeed here. He was here, and you were finally in his arms once again. His arms were strongly wrapped around your body, pulling you flush against him. His scent was everywhere. It was invading your senses, your way of thinking, and reigniting those feelings that you tried to burn away. Everything was just bubbling up inside and now you had to worry about waiting for it to burst once again.

Your Taehyung was back.

You felt his hand slowly travel down your spine, his fingers tracing every curve of your body before enveloping you in such a tight, vice grip. You could hardly breathe and you didn’t know if it was due to the excitement, or because he was just holding you so close to him so tightly. The beating of his heart was erratic against your chest and you inhaled his scent, not fully believing that he was finally back after such a long period of time.

“You have no idea just how much I wanted to come back every time you came into my mind.”

And then your clouded, foggy mind soon returned all the sorrow, heartbreak, and tears you had suffered all at once. That brief happiness of seeing him, of being reunited with him, and having him hold you like this would never fill up the hole he had dug out of your heart.

“I’m sure you did,” you bitterly bit out at him, remembering the shit he had put you through. No matter how comfortable you felt being in his arms again, you were already pulling away from him. “That definitely seemed like it when you just left and didn’t say anything to me, or anyone for a fact.”

It was too much. Just two years ago he had walked into your life, made you feel butterflies and heartbreak all at once. Two years ago, he had begun dating your best friend and all you could do was play along, pushing a side your own feelings. A year ago, he broke your best friend’s heart and yours simultaneously. And now, he’s back.

“I’m sorry,” his eyes were deeply filled with concern. Those hands gently framed your face, his thumb wiping away a tear that had fallen. “I’m so sorry, please forgive me.”

You just shook your head and laughed a little at the situation you were in. He was pulling you back into his embrace but you just removed his hands from you. He wasn’t allowing you think again. Snapping out of your trance you snarled out, “Just stop! Stop touching me and let me go.”

Taehyung seemed as he had been punched. His grip on you weakened automatically, eyes shining with turmoil trapped in them.

“I’m leaving,” you mustered out, avoiding his gaze once again. You knew if you glanced into those eyes you were going to turn into putty and run back to him like nothing. That was something you didn’t need right now. He couldn’t just prance back into your life without facing the consequences.

“Hey,” he started, his voice filled with despair and urgency. “Please wait, please,” he pleaded and you shook your head, trying to clear his voice from your mind. His hand intertwined with yours, tugging you back to him.

Your eyes widened at the feeling of his fingers interlocking with yours. If you could kiss him right now, you would. Every inch of your body was yearning to pull him and just kiss him because no amount of words would ever put it through your heart just how much you adored this man.

“I’m sorry I left like that, but I’m back now and I want to make things right, okay?” He tried resonating with you, but you figured moving on was the only way to keep you and your poor, fragile heart safe. “Here isn’t the place to talk, but please give me a chance to come back into your life again and explain why I left like that.”

You slowly disentangled your fingers from him and Taehyung faltered. You just grabbed your bags and said, “I can’t let you back into my life, not when it was so hard to let you go when you left me behind so easily.”

 And with that said, Taehyung let you go.

 —-

 Tears spilled down your cheeks, and you knew your eyes were red and swollen, but you hadn’t felt any sort of emotion since he pranced into your life minutes ago. You were a blank canvas, but somehow Taehyung always managed to get you so beautifully painted with the brightest and warmest colors you could ever think of. Streaks of blues, purple, pinkish, orange and yellows hues adorned and blossomed from your soul, evolving as each day passed. All of these colors reminded you of how it felt to be around his presence. Of how it felt to slowly and all at once fall in love with a person.

“What’s wrong with you?” Hyejin murmured out, her arms were wrapped around you. She was leaning her head on your shoulder, eyes curiously gazing at you with worry. “I haven’t seen you this sad since last year.”

A bittersweet smile edged your lips. Of course destiny was cruel. To fall for a man who wasn’t, couldn’t, and still wouldn’t be yours. To be fair, falling for Taehyung came unexpectedly, but yet again everything with him was unexpected and beautiful in a sense that reminded you that you were alive and could feel.

“I’m fine, just tired,” you mumbled out, trying to not let your emotions get the better of you. How could you explain to her that the reason you were crumbling once again was due to the man who broke her heart on the day of their anniversary? 

The day they broke up Hyejin was enthusiastically telling you about how passionate and fulfilling that night was going to be so you spent the night at Namjoon’s again, trying to drown yourself with weed and food. The next day you found your best friend on the couch with makeup stains and the smell of alcohol oozing from her. She never really told you what went down that night but for a while your relationship with her had been strained. There were days where it was just silent. She wouldn’t face you, or even talk to you until a couple weeks passed by. The mentioning of Kim Taehyung was forbidden in the household you both shared together. That unspoken rule was what made everything okay between the two of you again.

“I’ll be back later if Namjoon cancels—”

“No,” you waved her off. “Go and enjoy your weird date with him. I just saw this stupid drama and it has me in my feelings. I’ll be fine. I’ll call Wheein later and see if she wants to get drunk together.”

“Yeah,” She said, grabbing a hold of her purse with a semi disgusted look on her face. “I definitely don’t wanna be here to see that go down like last time.”

“Have fun with Joonie! Tell that moron that I found my Nintendo 64 the other day!”

“He’s going to feel relieved that he didn’t actually break it, or misplaced it as you accused him of.” She narrowed her eyes at you and you simply glanced down at your phone, feeling attacked right now.

“To be fair it wouldn’t be the first time so leaveee me aloneee,” you whined out and Hyejin just shook her head.

“I’ll be back for dinner tomorrow so don’t go anywhere! I’m buying Chinese takeout tomorrow.”

“I’ll be here as long as you buy me food.” You dryly replied, being genuinely honest.

She smiled cutely, waving her finger at you quite adoringly in response. “Done.”

You felt like a proud mother watching her child go into her first day of school since Hyejin was enthusiastically waving at you. She was quick to tell you she loved you before she skipped out the door. A tiny smile managed to make its way on your face. You figured she’d be back in less than five minutes though since she tended to be forgetful at times. As in cue, the doorbell rang and you sighed.

“I asked you if you had your fucking keys and you—” your eyes met with the figure who was not in fact your best friend.

You almost screamed, but conformed to a whisper. “Taehyung?”

Upon seeing him, you immediately stumbled over your feet as you tried to close the door again. Taehyung’s response seemed out of reflex. His arms were already wrapping around you, catching you in seconds before your face could connect with the lovely ground. He held you protectively against his side, his eyes taking in your expression as you glanced up at him in shock.

“I see you haven’t changed one bit.” He retorteed, his voice echoing throughout the hallway corridor. You had forgotten the sound of his voice until you saw him again, and now he was standing outside of your apartment…with his arms around you.

“Hyejin isn’t here.” Your mouth automatically told him. It was always that fucking sentence. Every time he would come over Hyejin would already be at work, or out with her friends, or even going to his place. Taehyung was always at your place though, with or without her in the apartment.

He scoffed, and then began to softly laugh upon seeing your confused expression. “I’m not here for her.”

Oh. Your eyes widened at that. Oh.  His arms had gotten bulkier, his frame broader and you hated that you noticed that within the seconds that he was holding you. You gained footing again and pushed yourself out of his arms, backtracking into your apartment to refrain your dumb self from saying anything stupid.

“I went over to your old apartment last night, but instead I got met with an eccentric Chinese couple.”

You snorted, biting back a venomous retort. “I’m sure you had fun being introduced to their classic rock collection, eh?”

He was watching you, taking your reaction towards him as he carefully spoke. “That and they invited me over to dinner tomorrow since I was so charming in their eyes.”

Your mouth was set on a thin line, expression impassive. “You won’t look so charming once my fist connects with your face if you don’t tell me what you’re doing here.”

Despite that threatening comment, he grinned. “You’ve always been all bark so I highly doubt you’ll do that.”

He was right on that, but the anger you had stored inside you would beg to differ in this case. 

“I’m not here to fight though,” he quickly spoke, noting how you were seconds away from slamming the door on his face right now. “I’m here to say that no amount of words will ever take back what I did to you. I know what I did was unfair to you in every way and I’ll understand if you don’t want me back in your life. But let me tell you something y/n, during that time that I was gone I did a lot of self-thinking and it all led me back to you. The first thing I did once I stepped foot in this country was look for you, which is why I’m here. I’m sorry for leaving like that, for not explaining myself, and for hurting you the way I did.”

“You idiot,” you quietly uttered out before becoming more vocal once the anger seeped in. “I-I, how dare you try to prance into my life like nothing and think that an apology is going to fix everything? You were my person, Taehyung. You broke my heart once I realized that you had left and you weren’t coming back. For a year, I wondered what happened that made you leave me like that and—and—”

You felt your throat begin to burn as tears blurred your eyesight. Damn it. Hold yourself together.

“y/n...”

“You know what?” you sucked in air and blinked back the tears. “I wish you the best in life, but what you did I will never forgive you for.”

You slammed the door in his face with all the force in your body, causing the door to shake. It echoed through your apartment and you couldn’t hear him over the roaring waves of anger that clouded your senses overall. Despite you being so livid, the other part of you wanted nothing more than to open the door and let him inside once again. You knew what side could overpower the other one the moment you could clearly hear him once again.

“y/n, I’m sorry,” his voice cracked and you screwed your eyes shut, fingers curling into the palm of your hand. “Please,” he continued, twisting your heart more. “I’m not asking for forgiveness. I just don’t want to lose you. It was a hell of a year without having you constantly by my side.”

“Liar,” you instantly called his bluff.

You slowly approached the door, hand outstretched towards the door handle. Taehyung was outside your door, it wasn’t a dream anymore that you could wake up from. He was just a few feet away with a barrier between the two of you once again. And then your hand went limp besides your body, eyes screwing to a shut as you tried to allow your brain to do the thinking instead of your heart. Sighing, you simply leaned your forehead against the wooden floor, wanting nothing more than to have his arms around you.

Silence.

You wondered if he had given up and left.

“I’m going to wait here until you decide to open the door.” Nope, he hadn’t.

“I’ll call security.” You immediately bit out and all you heard was a quiet chuckled.

Out of gnawing curiosity, you watched through the peephole as he slid down and sat criss crossed facing your door. His phone sat next to him, faced down. He was simply gazing at your door now, not moving an inch.

“I’ll be waiting.”

You deliberately screamed at yourself to leave him there. You pried your fingers from the door handle, reprimanding yourself over being so incredibly stupid. So instead you occupied yourself with trying to clean, organize, and even fucking cook. But everywhere you went was full of memories of you and him. Despite you moving away from your old apartment, you still had the same couch where you both sat across each other, throwing popcorn, gummy bears, and m&m’s at each other’s mouths. The bed sheets where he had accidentally fallen asleep while you were running your fingers through his hair, listening to him talk about his shitty day at work. The pillows you both had initiated a pillow fight with at three am in the morning. The wine glasses of that summer night where you and he spent hours talking about everything and anything. Even now as you filled up a glass of water to pour it into the pot reminded you of how he would volunteer to help you cook.

“Here, let me just—” he leaned over you, his shirt raising above his belly button as he reached over to grab the glasses for sweet tea. Your eyes flickered over to his exposed skin and the urge to trace your fingers down his abdomen was so immensely strong that it frightened you completely. You felt heat warm up your cheeks as you decided to glance away from his glowing skin and rather turn your eyes towards him. But Taehyung’s gaze was already on you, glasses already in hand.

The proximity between the two of you was numbing to the heart and brain. He was so incredibly close, to the point where you could see the color of his irises. In that moment, your favorite color had gone from yellow to brown in seconds. He was trapping you in, body touching yours. His warmth envelope you and you swore you could count those pretty lashes on his eyes and you would not get tired of it. His eyes flickered down to your lips and you knew you weren’t breathing at this point.

“Strange,” he suddenly cleared his throat, and took a step away from you. He turned away from you and you took in a deep and necessary breath.

“What?” you uttered out, slightly ashamed. He caught you staring and was probably disgusted by you now. Even you were bemused at your sudden urge that hadn’t been there before. What the fuck was going on?

He turned to face you, seeming a bit struck himself. “I suddenly have the urge to paint.”

“Really?” you broke out into a smile, forgetting the moment all together. “Dude, that’s great!”

His awe was transparent as he warmly smiled back at you. “It really is.”

That night you realized Taehyung had begun to sneak his way into your heart. The first ever color to be tentatively painted on the canvas of your heart was the color brown.

 “Can you believe Taehyung has been ignoring me for the past few days?” Hyejin began to ramble on quite angrily. “So you know what I did the other day? I went over his place and he was inside this weird room, locked inside. He came out with paint all over him and proceeded to kick me out of his apartment, claiming he was too tired and busy.”

You continued writing down your notes, trying to stay focus on your assignment.

“…something about finally getting his fucking muse and whatnot. He was telling me about his drought the other night, but I think I fell asleep on him. However, what the fuck? It’s been almost a week now and he’s not even answering my c—”

She suddenly got a phone call and you thanked your lucky stars. Judging from the disappointed look in her face, it was clearly not Taehyung. She still answered the call and finally left you alone in peace.

From: Taehyungieee

I just finished my first ever painting since two years ago

   The cup of water suddenly slipped from your numb fingers and crashed all over the floor. It was a rude and uncalled awakening call for sure.

“Shit,” you said, immediately grabbing a hold of the broom to clean the mess up.

“Are you okay?”

And there he was: the rude, uncalled awakening call. It was startling you awake again, but did you really want to wake up? You’ve been asleep all this time, waiting with your broken heart at the palm of your hands. Did you really want to wake up just to have it punched, twisted, and hell bent over again?

“y/n, I need to know if you’re okay or—”

“I’m fine,” you croaked out, eyes watering. You were obviously not fine. And you weren’t going to be as long as he sat outside your fucking door. The anxiety of Hyejin coming back and seeing him suddenly struck a nerve. How would she react to him coming back after so long? You were barely hanging on right now. You even sat down beside the pile of broken glass, head leaning back against the cabinet. You ignored the pile you had amounted, waiting to be pricked by now.

As long as you were in love with him, you knew it was going to stir everything up in your life once again. You knew him coming back was something that you did not plan for. You weren’t the slightest prepared and it frightened you. The last time you were unprepared you fell deeply in love with a man who was not yours to keep.

It was past midnight when you decided to just see if he was still outside. The temptation of sliding him a plate of food was incredibly strong, but you held out. Now as you peered out the peephole you realized he was cold. He had his arms wrapped around his body and was slightly shivering. The best of part of you grabbed a hold of you and you grabbed a hold of your favorite blanket and rather quietly and slowly you opened the door. You found him resting against the edge of the door frame, sleeping. With light steps, you approached his sleeping figure before taking a seat next to him. You wrapped your blanket around him and yourself. With a poke to his cheek, you secured yourself that he was indeed passed out since he didn’t even flinch or stir. The silence welcomed you, bringing you so much peace as you quietly heard Taehyung’s breathing. It was in that moment of weakness that you momentarily allowed yourself to lean your head against his shoulder. 

He was back.

Taehyung.

Your mouth was already spilling your contained secrets.

“The only reason why I’m here is because I still love you, Taehyung.” You whispered it out, your fingers tenderly brushing away the bangs from his eyes. “I don’t think I ever stopped, or will if I’m being honest.”

You figured he was dead asleep so it wouldn’t matter.

And he was sound asleep. But as you glanced up at him, gathering each and every detail from his pretty face, you realized just how much you had missed him. There were nights where you would scribble away your heart out on a piece of paper in search for him. Tears were documented on those pages and your feelings were a mesh of words that only he could bring out of you. Kim Taehyung had definitely left a wound in your heart and now here he was beside you sound asleep, quickly patching it up and healing it with just his mere presence. God, you were an absolute idiot.

You stayed there with him for who knows long until he started moving. It was then that you instantly ripped yourself away from him and stood up in time for him to flutter his eyes open. A loud ass yawn emitted from his lips and he looked disoriented before his brown eyes landed on you.

“y/n,” he rasped out, immediately sitting up once again. His legs were wrapped up in your blanket and you watched how he realized he even had it in the first place. His fingers tentatively curled around it, tugging it closer to his body.

He wasn’t looking at you as he spoke up, sounding incredibly tired. “Do you want me to leave?”

Yes. Yes, was what you meant to fucking say.

You were gazing ahead of you, not turning towards him as you replied heavily, “No.”

Taehyung was immensely surprised and shocked. You were sure he was expecting you to kick him out for good once and for all like you should, but then he softly replied, “Okay.”

“It’s cold.” You quietly told him, already beginning to walk inside your apartment again. “Come inside.”

He trudged in behind you rather quietly, hands still curled around the blanket. You led him into the kitchen, pouring him a hot cup of green tea so he could drink. Alongside stood a plate full of food that had been obviously warmed up. Whatever he was thinking though, he didn’t utter a word out. His eyes didn’t meet yours. They were too focused on the steaming mug of tea and food.

“Drink this,” you said as you passed him the mug, your eyes flickering away from his intense gaze now. “You’re more than welcome to take the couch. My bathroom is down the hall to the right if you need it. And I want you out of here before 10 in the morning the latest.”

The way you spoke was monotone, firm, and was nothing compared to the sweet, kind hearted person Taehyung knew so well.

“Noted.”

You both finally met each other’s eyes. You held his gaze, hoping that in some way all your pain, tears, and heartbreak could be transferred so he would know how you felt for so long. Maybe then he would know the damaged he had done to you inside and out. However, that did not happen. Instead you felt your gaze blur, hands beginning to tremble from just how hurt you were so inside. You glanced away, shoving past him.

You didn’t turn around to notice the way his saddened gaze followed you all the way until you trapped yourself between another set of four walls, away from him.

It was four am.

You couldn’t fall asleep.

Your bed sheets were just not lulling you to sleep at this point. You were curled up on one side of your bed, hugging your pillow into your body for comfort. You laid there, feeling so empty and with so much emotion all at once. Your brain couldn’t exactly grasp it. Taehyung was literally down the fucking hall from you. He was just a few steps away from you. A few steps from wrapping his arms around you and making you feel like home once again.

A soft but rather small smile appeared on your face. At least he was safe and healthy. He looked so much better, glowing even. You then wondered how you looked. Did you look as you felt? Did he not hurt the way you did? Probably not.You sat up, legs already swinging off your bed. You were bound to drink some medicine so it could knock you out to the point where you’d wish you’d wake up with him already gone. You were already opening the door, ready to step out when you met Taehyung already outside your door, hand curled into a fist midair. 

“I—I fuck,” He sputtered out, hand falling beside his side. “I didn’t know you were awake.“

“Did you expect me to sleep soundly, Taehyung?” you genuinely prompted, the anger quickly igniting inside of you. Your voice was incredibly sweet, but dripping of venom. “Did you expect me to fall asleep so easily? Is that how you slept while you were away this time? Without a care in this fucking world? Liberated and running away like the coward you were and still are?”

Taehyung did not respond. His eyes had become watery as he barely spoke up, “I know what I did was shitty. I know what I did hurt you beyond believe. I can’t express just how much I was hurting too, okay? You think leaving was easy? You think being away from you was ever easy?”

“Don’t you fucking dare,” you finally spat out, causing him to flinch. “Don’t you fucking compare your pain to mine. You left without saying anything to me. You left nothing, nothing. Not even a single note, letter, or anything. And you left me wondering, stupidly worrying over you, but you obviously didn’t give a fuck. Instead you were living life in Venice ever so graciously.”

He was shaking his head to every word you were saying, disbelief written all over his features. “What do you mean, I didn’t give a fuck? Are you fucking blind, y/n? Did you honestly not know just how much you meant to me, and still do? For fucks sakes, I’m standing here, trying to apologize to you when I could be fucking other bitches, or even forgetting completely about you. So what the fuck do you mean by me not giving a fuck about you? And you’re pulling up Venice?”

His eyebrows were furrowing, trying to follow along. “You knew about me all this time? And you didn’t even try to at least contact me?””

“A friend of mine bought your painting and I recognized it the moment I saw it. And how could I after what she told me?” you bitted out, boring holes into him by now. “The world renowned artist, Kim Taehyung, an indie artist who lives in Venice. Happily living his life away with fucking bitches and enjoying his newfound wealth.” You recited the exact same thing Wheein had told you in her precise words.

She had burned the painting in front of you afterwards.

Taehyung simply scoffed and then began shaking his head in annoyance. “The Venice part is true, but in no moment did I ever touch anyone else that wasn’t you.”

“Stop,” you instantly warned him, his words becoming more of a blow that for some reason instead of consoling you it just kept adding to the flame inside your soul. “Stop saying things like that to me.”

“It’s true though,” he desperately urged out, sounding frustrated now. He ran his hands down his face, groaning as you seemed to be distancing yourself each time he opened his mouth. “Never once did I fuck anyone while I was over there. You wanna know why? Because my certain muse was waiting back home for me.”

“Fuck you!” you finally snapped, shoving him away from your entrance. “You don’t get to say shit like that when your actions prove you otherwise. Do you not see how you left me? I am here standing in front of you crying because I am a pathetic ass person who cared too much over someone who didn’t give a single fuck about me!”

His jaw ticked, seeming impassive and you fucking detested that. He never once showed an ounce of emotion and it always made you feel incredibly stupid. This time however, Taehyung finally snapped. “Don’t you fucking dare say I never gave a shit about you when I did. I showed you countless of times just how much you meant to me. For fucks sakes, I painted you so many times!”

He finally exploded, yelling back at you now. “Could you not fucking see it? How insane I was when you came into my life? You want prove?”

“No, what I want—”

“What?” He barked out and you bit the inside of your cheek, restraining yourself from physically assaulting him.

So you resonated with hurting him verbally instead. “I want you out of my life.” You decided, trying to convince yourself with that too.

“You sure you want that?” He challenged you and you were taken back by his assertiveness. It only infuriated you even more. Your fingers were curling up inside your palm, nails digging into your skin. The pain felt numbing compared to the bubbling hatred you were feeling inside. “If so, just say it straight to my face.”

Before you could control yourself, your fingers were fisting his shirt, crumpling it up as you brought him closer to you. He stumbled over, hand flying over to hold on to the doorway entry to stop himself from crushing you. You slowly gritted out with such defiance, “I. Want. You. Out. Of. My. Life.

By the time you were done uttering the last word out, your voice had begun to shake. Your fingers had loosen a hold of him and you felt utterly defenseless.

He leaned into you, getting on eye level, and lowly bit out, “And actually mean it.”

One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Sev—

“Get out and never fucking come back into my life!” you exploded, yelling at him now. You were quick in releasing him and shoving him away from you. “Get out!”

He stood there, without saying a single word. 

“Get out of my fucking apartment, out of my life, and out of my existence.”

“But I don’t want to,” his voice cracked and you halted, your throat feeling on fire from how hard it was to not cry in front of him. “I don’t want you to give up on me when I am standing right here, ready to give you everything and much more. I am standing here, and I am not leaving until your hatred for me goes away.”

What did he mean by that? What the hell was going on?

His hair was a mess from letting his fingers tug at it and just the sound of his broken and desperate voice was making you crumble all over again. “I don’t want to leave when it’s been a hell of a fucking year not having you around me, not seeing you smile over the dumbest of things, and not being able to hold you. It’s killing me, y/n.”

Tears were already spilling down your cheeks before you could stop them. With the sleeve of your shirt, you hastily wiped them away from your face since you were not going to let him see you cry. But he was right there, and he was back. He was back after such a long time and he was right there.

“I hate you for making me feel this way,” you sobbed out, finally breaking. Your shaking hands tugged at the strands of your hair in utter devastation. “I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I fucking hate you. I hate you so much Kim Taehyung. I hate you. I HATE YOU!”

Each word felt like a needle pricking into his heart, but seeing you break down like that? Taehyung wanted nothing but to beat the fuck out of himself as well.

“I am so sorry.” Tears were streaming down his face, he seemed at lost for words. “I am so fucking sorry.”

You both were unconsciously edging closer. As you were screaming at him how much you hated him, he was nearing you, his cries of  ‘I am so sorry’ contradicting yours. His hands tentatively framed your face, foreheads pressed against each other’s as you sobbed.  He was so careful in touching you. You felt his fingertips ghost your face so gently, the pad of his fingers wiping your tears away as he brokenly croaked out, “I hate myself for making you cry. I hate myself for leaving you like that, and I will continue to hate myself as long as you cry over me because I don’t deserve your tears, y/n.”

“Just—” you hiccupped, hands encasing over his. Your grip on him tightened, eyesight blurred and throat burning. “Just hold me, Taehyung.”

“Please, j-just hold me,” you sobbed out and Taehyung was wrapping his arms around you before you could finish that sentence. His hands were encasing your head, his mouth on your hair as he tried his best to mend you back into the person you were before he came into your life.

All your pain, hurt, and heartbreak had seeped into his veins. His own feelings had intensified and seeing you break down like that was enough to render him straight down on to his knees.  Being in Venice was hell. He was alone and his thoughts were constantly full of you and only you. There were times where he impulsively would try and run back into your arms, but he stubbornly reminded himself that you were better off without him. Seeing you now with your face dug into the crook of his neck, fingers digging into his clothes, he realized just how fucking wrong he had been.

Your feelings were as evident as ever and he blamed fate for separating you both like that.

“I’m sorry,” he held you close to him, whispering it until it was engraved in your mind. “Please forgive me, I’m so sorry. Give me a chance, give me a chance to prove just how much you mean to me. Please, just one. And if that doesn’t work, then I’ll let you go.”

You sighed, you were too drained. You felt completely exhausted, but Taehyung was running his fingers through your hair, still apologizing to you with tears in his eyes. At one point the both of you had slid down against the wall together. His hold on you would not loosen and by now you were resting your head against his chest, his breathing luring you to sleep as each minute passed. You were sitting in between his legs, eyes fluttering to a close.

“I’ve missed you so much,” he continued, sniffling. “I never meant to hurt you, please know that. Please, please know that none of this was intentional. I—, I, lo—”

“Okay,” you mumbled out, tilting your head back against his chest to glance at him. He glanced down, lips centimeters away from yours but you didn’t falter. “One chance. One chance to prove to me that all of what you’re saying is true. Actions tend to speak louder than words, Taehyung.”

“Okay, okay,” he was quick to agree. “One chance is all I need. And I’ll prove it to you, okay? Not for me, but for you.”

You returned back to your original position. You made yourself comfortable in his arms, eyes finally closing. A soft plead left your lips, “Are you going to leave in the morning?”

“Not unless you kick me out.”

You were out like a light after that.

 Hours later with the sun peeking in through the window sliding doors, you slowly stirred yourself awake. As you began to blink yourself fully awake, you realized you were no longer on the hallway floor, but on your bed. And Taehyung was beside you, hot breathing fanning the back of your neck. His arms were not only wrapped around you, curling you further into his own warmth, but his fingers had intertwined with yours as well. Never in your dreams, would you have imagined the day you’d wake up and realize you were still in Taehyung’s arms.

He didn’t leave.

He didn’t, but you needed to. It was almost noon and you knew your best friend would come barging in through that door in an hour or so. You heard him softly exhale, fingers twitching in your hold. He was waking up. You immediately closed your eyes, relaxed more into him, and evened out your breathing.

“I won’t fail you again.” He whispered out, fingers slowly pulling away from yours. You had your heart lodged in your throat, feeling him pull away. It was seconds later when you felt his fingers tracing yours, trailing up your arm, and then going back down. His touch must work wonders since you were lulled back to sleep in seconds. The second time you woke, he was gone. A note was messily written on your night stand and just as you were about to read it, Hyejin barged into your room.

“You deadass just woke up now? It’s two in the afternoon!”

You curled the note underneath your hand, your eyes zooming in on the jacket behind her. It was Taehyung’s jacket. Did he leave it behind? Will Hyejin turn around and recognize it?

“Y-Yeah,” you stammered out, screwing your eyes shut at being so damn obvious. “I- I think I smoked a little bit too much last night.”

“Well, hydrate yourself then.” She reprimanded, seeming worried now. “I’ll serve you some water, okay? Also, Joonie is out there and he brought us lunch!”

Oh fuck. Not only was she here, but Namjoon as well? You waited for her to leave your room until you uncurled the note.

‘I’m in your closet’

“Taehyung,” you gasped out and quickly ran over to your closet. You pulled the door open and saw him sitting there, playing Overwatch on his damn phone.

“I was going to wake you when I heard them, but then I heard her calling your name so I had a few seconds before I could write that and get in here,” he  sheepishly admitted and you found yourself grinning like an idiot at him despite everything.

He hadn’t left.

“I can give you a five minute window for you to make it out through the door. You’re going to have to be really fucking quick.”

“Damn it, y/n.” He began to then crawl out of the closet, mumbling nonsense into the air. “Okay, but before we do all of this, can you come over to my place tonight?” He was standing down, towering over you slightly.

“That quick?” you dryly humored out and Taehyung bit down on his bottom lip.

His next sentence was what did it for you. “You said I have one chance. It’s been 393 days since we’ve last seen each other and I’m not going to waste any more time between us.”

Your gaze met his. “I’ll text you when I’m there.”

Getting him out of there wasn’t exactly easy. You gathered Namjoon and Hyejin into her room, slamming the door shut behind you. How did you even manage to get them in the same room? Well you accused Namjoon of stealing your favorite chips and went over to complain to Hyejin who was already in her room.

“I did not touch your fucking chips,” he continued to defend himself, eyes narrowing. “This is called defamation and I will sue you, you nimrod.”

“This is called defamation and I will sue you,” you openly mocked him, knowing this would grate his nerves.

“You little—”

“You see!” you extended your arm, wiggling your finger at Namjoon as Hyejin seemed utterly done with the both of you. “He called me a bitch! Tell your boyfriend to stop stealing my food and calling me degrading names.”

“I did not call you a bitch.”

“Whatever,” you waved him off.

“Did smoking too much bud suddenly shorten the two brain cells you still had left?” He retorted, his index finger tapping the side of your head. “Hellooo, I know you’re already working hard, but can you try a little bit more?”

With slit eyes you slowly began approaching him. “I will castrate you in your sleep and choke you with your own—”

“Hey, hey!” Hyejin tried cutting in between the two of you.

“You’re on your period, right? That’s why you’re acting bitchier than usual.”

“Woah, woah!” Hyejin interrupted, a scowl placed on her lips. “Did you just pull that fucking card with two women in the room?”

Namjoon sighed, seeming utterly irritated, “I forgot what happens when thing number one joins thing number two.”

“You’re on fucking time out, Kim Namjoon.”

The five minute mark had passed.

“It’s okay.” You waved at them, but they were too busy debating between the two of them now. “I just remembered I ate them last night while I was high as fuck, whoops!”

It’s not like they heard you since they had begun bickering. Namjoon was actually sitting in the corner, face against the wall as they both tried to throw their opinions at each other. Without saying anything, you tiptoed your way out of there. Now all you needed was time to get ready for what was about happen tonight.

  -------

On the way to his new apartment, you wondered what would be the end of this story. Would you finally move on and leave? Would you finally be able to forget Kim Taehyung? You entered his penthouse, eyeing the place wearily as you made your way inside the low dimmed place. You then came to a slow stop once you came into view of the living room.

Paintings. You were surrounded by paintings of you.

From portraits, to abstract paintings, and even old sketches. El Museum de Amor was what it was written so intricately right on the center of his new wall. Judging by the new glamorous penthouse, you knew that it was him who wrote it. Your eyes brimmed with tears, an incredulous laugh emitting from your lips. Your trembling hand cupped your mouth in awe and utter shock. You were in utter disbelief since there was no way Taehyung had kept these hidden for so long. Each painting differed from one another, but one thing for sure was that his colors never did. He painted you with purples, pinks, blues, yellows, and a mixture of brown colors, enhancing you with the most beautiful, pastel colors.

Paintings of you doing daily, tribal things surrounded you, and you could tell they were old. Some included you with delicately made flowers surrounding you, enhancing the beauty that you never knew he saw in you. You traced the portrait, his emotions coming to life in your eyes after so long of waiting. It was as if you were seeing yourself through his eyes and all you saw was love. One thing that you noticed was how Taehyung had managed to beautifully shade in the stars in every single one of his paintings of you.

You are you’re own entity. You shine so brightly, silly. 

“I not only fell in love with you,” Taehyung spoke up, coming into view now. “But I fell irrevocably in love with painting you.”

You flipped a painting over, hands still shaking.

My muse, Silly.

It reminded you of the interview Wheein had showed you and Hyejin, which then proceeded by them two burning the painting together. Watching them set it on fire, tore you completely apart. Wheein was holding the painting as Hyejin held the lighter in her hand. You felt like an outsider just awaiting for the destruction that was about to commence. Hyejin lividly poured gasoline on it, screaming at an inanimate object until the tank was completely empty. Then she set it on fire and you could see the glimmer in her eyes as she watched it crumble beneath her fingertips.

 “Who is this mystery person?”

“Someone who I’ve tried to forget.”

“She must be very special then, since you know, to have the famous Vante painting her so intimately and beautifully.”

Taehyung was turned towards the screen, a saddened spark in his eyes.

“She is indeed. She was and still is my only muse and inspiration.”

 “I hated you for leaving me like that,” you suddenly told him, turning to face him. He was already behind you and you were ready to step into what was Kim Taehyung as a person. But first, there were still some questions unanswered. “Hyejin told me you both broke up and then when I went to see how you were doing you had packed up your bags and left.”

He was frowning now, eyes blazed. “I went to say goodbye to you but Hyejin told me you had gone out of town.”

“Well yeah,” you frowned, finding it all weird. “I left Sunday.”

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “I went Friday.”

“We weren’t exactly on speaking terms when you left.” You clarified, still finding everything so uncorrelated and coming to terms at the same time.

“Fuck,” he swore underneath his breath. “Did you receive what I left there for you?”

“No?”

“It was the painting you left that day. I got it back the next day, you know, after Namjoon answered your phone that night.”

It was your turn to look in disbelief, “What?”

“The night that I broke up with Hyejin I called you and Namjoon answered.”

You began shaking your head, finding everything so confusing. “But, but there was no call from you that n—”

“I called you that night to tell you that I was in love with you.”

Oh fuck.

“The reason we broke up that same night was not necessarily because I wasn’t the same person when we met, but I had fallen in love with someone else.”

Staring at all the delicate and intricate paintings, you began to feel all of your questions being answered. The timing between the two of you was just incredibly fucked up.

“And rather than leading this relationship on, I was honest with her and that’s that. I broke up with her because the thought of not being with you was suffocating me so fucking much.”

You were blinking back tears, feeling so distraught by how much shit you both had been through because of the timing and uncertain events.

“So tell me why it took us this long to get to here then?” you said, sounding so heartbroken. “Tell me why in my dreams was the only way I could get to hear you say that you loved me?”

Everything was a mess, but here you both were. Taehyung was standing here in front of you, asking for another chance and here you were ready to give it to him. You were ready to dive back into him, hoping that this time you wouldn’t end up with a heart broken into bits of pieces. You were ready to fall even more in love with him. You knew it was possible.

“I love you,” he breathed out against your mouth, hands becoming firm on your hips now. There it was, the confirmation you’ve been desperately waiting for. His whole body was pressed against yours and your mind was racing as his eyes met yours.

“I am so stupidly and blindingly in love with you. It’s you who I’ve been trying to forget, but I can’t. No matter how hard I try to forget you, to forget the way you smiled at me, how your body was made for me, and how incredibly beautiful you are inside and out. I just fucking can’t.”

I love you.

“The reason why I left? I left because I was in love with you, y/n. I was in love with someone who I didn’t deserve. Someone who I have hurt so much in the process while I was with someone who I never truly loved. And I figured disappearing from your life would be better, but I didn’t mean to hurt you the way I did. I thought that doing this was going to be good for you and you’d be able to finally be happy.”

“Why?” you demanded, pushing him away from you. “Why couldn’t you have just talked to me like a normal human being instead of leaving this country and erasing yourself from my life like that? What the fuck were you thinking Taehyung?” your voice cracked, but the anger inside of you was finally dripping from your fingertips. 

“Do you have any idea how it felt to be in love with someone who wasn’t mine? To watch you with my best friend wishing that it was me in your arms instead of her? And then you leaving like that? Make me happy?” you scoffed. “Taehyung I was lost for so long and it’s not fair. You don’t get to decide what’s good for me. I get to decide that and if I strongly believe that it’s you, then it’s going to be fucking you.”

“You have no idea how much I’ve been wanting to kiss you for so long.” He slowly breathed out, inching closer to you now. “To—” he paused, tentative hands slowly inching closer to your face.

The pad of his fingers softly graced your face, awaiting your reaction before softly whispering, “To touch you like this.”

“Then do it Tae,” you whispered it out, hands cupping his face to have him closer to you. You softly brushed your lips against his, eyes fluttering to a close. “Please.”

His eyes glanced into yours before slowly fluttering to a close. Mouth softly molded against yours, his lips being tentative at first. But as Taehyung slowly kissed you, his hands wandered down your sides, carefully beginning to touch every curve of your body. Your heart soared as your lips heaved a gentle sigh into his mouth. You hadn’t felt so much emotion being put into a kiss, but yet again this was the man you were so in love with. His lips were tender and rendering you down so quickly, making your legs turn to mush and jelly all at once. It was slow and gentle, everything you ever hoped it would be with him. And then he abruptly pulled away from you, touch and sensation leaving with him.

There was a pause between the both of you as you both struggled to get a grip of one another. Something about the air was different as fleeting glances passed between the two of you. All you could do was stare intensely back at him as you both breathed in each other’s air from the proximity. And then as Taehyung gazed into your eyes with such fervor intensity, something clicked between the two of you.  Soul, heart, and passion vibrated throughout your body at the sensation of his touch because he was everywhere all at once. His fingers were already tangling themselves into your hair, tugging insistently as his mouth roughly met yours. Mouths clashed and pants began to emit from the both of you. A moan slipped past your lips at the sensation of his soft lips because it was finally happening. His cologne invaded your senses, making you even more stupid dizzy for this man.

His mouth missed yours from the excitement and his hot breath fanned against your skin as he nudged his knee between your legs, hoisting you up on his thigh, and pressing you further into him. Your skirt managed to ride up your thigh and Taehyung definitely did not miss the red, lacy thong adorning you so well.

“Much better,” he lowly breathed out against your mouth. You could feel his boxy grin against your lips and then you were kissing him again, melting and molding to his sync in just a few seconds. Soft moans emitted from you, body reacting before your already brain dead self could. You managed to wind up your arms around his neck, fingers pulling at the nape of his hair so desperately. His tongue was already slipping past, mouth sensually sucking down on your bottom lip.

Taehyung, Taehyung, Taehyung.

Fingers left his hair and instead wandered down his chest, hastily beginning to rip his shirt apart since you needed to feel him. And Taehyung didn’t seem to mind it one bit since his lips never detached from yours as he aided you in those fleeting moments.

“Here, silly,” he mumbled it out against your lips, eyes fluttering to an open. A laugh emitted from his lips upon realizing just how utterly impatient you were in that moment.

He was just so undeniably hot. With his curly hair matted up, swollen pretty lips, white dress shirt ruffled and almost off his body, and the tone of his tan skin glowing under the dim lighting by his candles. This man was effortlessly so beautiful and he just confessed to you about being his fucking muse. You eyed his button up shirt was and hurriedly tugged it down without wasting any more time. You wanted to get to the part where he was pinning you against his mattress and fucking your insides out.

“When you left,” you began and he was nearing you again. Hands framed your face ever so delicately with his pretty adorned silver ring hands. “I wanted to go after you, but you weren’t mine to yearn for.”

“But I was,” he lowly admitted to you with earnest sincerity. He was breathing into you as his lips met yours. “Since the moment I met you, I was already yours.”

His gaze was enough to set your whole soul on fire. Hands felt all tingly, head was dizzy but not from the buzz, and all you wanted at the moment was him. In your mind all that echoed was his name, Taehyung. You felt bewitched as he nudged your nose with his, hot breath fanning your face. You felt his fingers twitch, and with one last glance you simply stood on the tip of your toes, and softly pressed your mouth against his.

You felt him smile against your mouth and that immediately made your heart blossomed. As your hands slowly began to wander up his chest, you felt a soft pink hue being gently stroked against the canvas of your heart. It was light and sincere and tentative. And as Taehyung deepened the kiss, that soft pink darkened.

All thoughts were wiped free from your mind as his lips began to trail down the side of your neck, sucking and marking to his liking. It was then Taehyung’s hands grasped the back of your thighs, swiftly lifting you up. With a knee nudged between your thighs, he backed you up against the wall, pressing himself against you. A soft gasp emitted from your lips since he was right there again, lips barely brushing yours so tentatively and slowly. Hot air fanned your face, and the way he was gazing at you made your insides quiver in delight and your poor heart stutter.

“I can feel how wet you are for me, baby,” he purred out, fingers mischievously dancing up your thigh. You were watching his teasing movements like a fucking hawk, just waiting for him to do something you already.

“y/n.”

You glanced up and Taehyung was just gazing into you so intensely, halting you.

His fingers caressed your body, slowly wandering up before encasing your face in his large, veiny, and pretty hands. With a clear and low voice, he said, “Do you want me as bad as I want you?”

You happily wrapped your arms around his neck, a dazed smiled plastered all over your face. Taehyung definitely didn’t miss that since he was kissing you all over again. Taehyung hadn’t moved a muscle though and it dawned upon you that he was waiting for confirmation once he quirked an eyebrow, eyes telling it all. You almost laughed since here you were, practically kissing the crook of his neck and eagerly waiting for him to bend you over and do his worse.

“Yes,” you spilled it into his mouth without hesitation. “Yes, yes, yes.”

“Okay.”

A moment of realization dawned upon the both of you, but you figured you’d deal with this later. Right now, what you wanted was standing right in front of you and you were bound to get it once and for all.

“Lead the way,” you breathed out against his lips.

“Okay then,” he confirmed, beginning to lead the both of you into his bedroom. One hand was placed along your back while the other was set on your ass, gently squeezing. He groaned upon feeling the lace that was barely covering you, and you could feel him harden underneath you.

With a kick to the door, he swung it open and gave you a last peck on the mouth before gently laying you down on his king sized bed. He didn’t turn on the light, but you propped yourself up, watching as he roamed around his room, fingers running through his long hair. His back was facing you and you could feel your heart accelerate since even in the dim lighting, you could still make out his broad shoulders and defined back. He had definitely changed physically.

He arched an eyebrow, a smirk making its way already. “You want me to fuck you with your clothes on, baby?”

“I preferred if you take them off.”

“Oh?” He boyishly grinned. “Is that so?”

You simply let yourself fall back against the covers, teasingly spreading your legs for him. You heard a sharp inhale, followed by a guttural moan. You were beginning to shimmy out of your shirt when suddenly Taehyung was already climbing on the bed, hovering over you. Hands firmly encased yours, pinning them above your head.

“You’re killing me,” he whispered it out against your lips, eyes slightly darker. “I’ll strip you naked, then. If that’s what my baby wants, then I’ll give it to her.”

My baby.

His hands ripped your shirt open and you gasped in surprise. Taehyung watched as your expression went from instant shock to what seemed to be a slightly frightening pissed off one in just seconds. Your hands were already beginning to shove him away, since that shirt happened to be a favorite and he just ripped it like nothing. “Dude, why?” your eyes had turned to slits and Taehyung knew he had fucked up.

So naturally, he quickly began to spill out, “I’m sorry, fuck. I’ll buy you another one, shit, I’ll buy you whatever the hell you want tomorrow, okay? My wallet is yours.”

Your pissed expression suddenly wavered into a tiny pout and he knew he was in the clear now. “Okay,” you slowly relented, rolling your eyes. “You’re definitely buying me this exact same shirt.”

“Deal.”

“Okay now undress me,” you whined out suddenly and he definitely had no problem in complying with that. You watched as Taehyung practically moaned at the sight of you in just a maroon coated corset. He didn’t even need to take off your skirt to notice the matching set, nor the garters that complimented you so fucking well.

The corset tied around your body, almost like a present to him.

“My little present, huh? Can I unwrap you now?”

“Please,” you impatiently whined out.  

He bent down where the end of the red silky string ended. With his teeth, he grazed your skin as he teasingly dragged it down, slowly unraveling you to him with such ease. You could feel his hot breath fan against your skin. He stopped suddenly, his gaze just wandering your body from head to toe in such awe. His attention to detail was definitely there since his artistic eyes were just brushing and tentatively painting your body with his gaze alone. It was when your hands were coming around to cover yourself when he snapped out of his stupor.

“Nope,” he kissed you, pinning your hands away from your body. “My art.”

“I—” you began, stunned.  

“So beautiful,” his lips were kissing your thoughts away. And then they were marking  away down the base of your throat, licking down on your collarbones, and then his lips immediately went to your nipple, tongue swirling momentarily around it. You squeezed your thighs, trying to find some kind of release as he puckered his lips and sucked. He was definitely enjoying himself since you found him humming along to whatever song was playing. Your brain was muffled by the sensation of his lips to recognize the song he was so keen on singing along to.

“So pretty,” he languidly purred out, a teasing grin laced on his pretty face. He was watching you, tongue swirling around your bud as you both gazed into each other’s eyes. You softly moaned, hands desperately beginning to search for his body. You just wanted to hold him, to feel him against your body, and to feel his lips grace yours so hotly and animalistic simply because you craved for him.

You’ve been yearning for him for so long that all you wanted was to feel him move inside of you.

“Taehyung, I need you to fuck me already,” you heaved out, your impatience getting the better of you.

However, Taehyung was quick to hover over you, pinning your arms against the bed as his lips grazed yours. He was dizzying you again, causing your head to spin from the proximity.  “I am appreciating my art. So you’re going to wait until I am fucking done, understand?”

You thickly swallowed, nodding. He didn’t take that as an answer though. “I didn’t hear you, love.”

“Yes,” you whimpered out and Taehyung’s grin just made your thighs a dripping mess.

He was already in between your legs again, tongue lapping up every single drop. Hands were firmly splayed against your hips, keeping you still as his puckered lips sucked on your clit without pausing. Oh, oh my fucking god. Taehyung was quick to catch on your mannerisms, figuring out the way your body worked with such ease simply because he already knew you inside and out.  Watching as you propped yourself on your elbows, mouth opening and closing frantically. These loud ass moans could rival a pornstar and Taehyung couldn’t breathe just from how hard his dick was.  

“Oh God,” you softly gasped out, your body jerking slightly at the movement of his fingers. Slick covered your ass and thighs as Taehyung pumped in two digits inside of you. He curled them inside of you and you knew his hands were more than capable of making you cum with such ease. You loved his hands and watching his fingers disappear inside of you so harshly, as if you were being used to his liking excited you more than you could think of.

“Oh fuck!” you choked out, fingers fisting the sheets beneath you. “Tae, I’m so close, so close, soclosesoclose.” You screwed your eyes shut, crying out as he replaced his fingers with his tongue. With a few strokes and a mild slap to your cunt, you jerked forward and came without a warning.

Oh fuck, so this is what you’ve been missing. Your breathing was in pants, legs shaking, and head spinning. Taehyung definitely knew what the fuck he was doing. And that fucker just laughed, hands massaging your thighs.

“You done for the night?” he teased you, boxy smile growing. “Wanna take a shower and go to bed, Grandma?”

“Fuck you,” you laughed as you managed to sit up. Your body was practically yearning for more at this rate. You just didn’t want to boost his goddamn ego. He was good, great even if he could make you see stars with just his hands and mouth. You wondered if you would pass out if he fucked you now.

“That’s the plan, baby,” he cheekily replied, winking at you even. You didn’t know what to do besides smacking your hand on his forehead and trying to push him away from between your legs.

“Oh no, no.” He tilted his head to make your hand slip down his face instead. He bit your palm and rasped out, “I gotta clean all of my mess first.”

With his hand, he motioned for you to lay down and you did as you were told.

“Tae,” you tugged at his hair, trying to get him on top of you instead, but Taehyung was busy kitty licking you clean, softly singing, “If you want it, you can have it.”

His mouth hovered over your sensitive bud, slightly nudging it with his tongue. You dug your heels into his bed, getting worked up all over again. Then he proceeded to challenge you, “You think I can make you cum again, baby?”

“Uh huh,” you nodded without thinking, chest beginning to raise and fall. His grin was wicked, yet charming. His mouth though kept slurping away the mess he had made out of you. He hummed against your hole and your legs quivered at the sensation.

“Tae, please,” you began, pushing him away with your hands.

He raised an eyebrow, tongue sweeping his bottom lip.  “Yeah?”

“I want you to fuck me already, goddamn it.” You exasperatedly told him.

“I think, I’ll fuck you with these on,” he smirked, fingers hooking underneath your red garter. Just the sensation of his fingers on your skin, ignited the anticipation inside of you.

Do whatever you please, just fuck me already.

His hands were already unbuckling his belt, whipping out before throwing it behind him. His gaze alone made you swallow thickly since the way he just looked at you told you what he was planning to do to you. Once his pants and underwear were gone, you were already meeting him on the edge of his bed, hands sliding up his arms.  You stood before him, smiling so widely.

“You’re so fucking gorgeous,” you sincerely uttered it out, finding yourself breathless once meeting his eyes.

He caressed your cheek, arm winding around your body to pull you flush against him. “If I could capture the essence of how beautiful you are, I wouldn’t share it to the world. Call me selfish for wanting you all for myself, but it took us three years to get here where I can finally call you mine.”

He was lifting you up once again, gently placing you down on his mattress. You could feel his cock press against your stomach and you simply welcomed him between your legs so naturally.

“You sure?” He asked once again, trying to reaffirm himself in a sense.

“Make me yours,” you said without hesitation, games and teasing falling off the table now. Your heart, mind, and body were in unison as you kissed him immediately to reassure him that it was okay.

As your mouth deliciously met his, he slowly slid into you. He swallowed your moan in his mouth, hips bottoming down against your body. A grunt emitted from his mouth as you squeezed around him, starting to milk his cock. His hands had gotten busy with your hair, fingers tangling themselves as he slowly began to push himself into you. All you could do was muffle your moans by biting down on his shoulder, nails digging into his side. He was in between your legs, hips sensually moving against your body. Finally. You could feel his cock move against you and your toes were curling at the sensation of having him finally fuck you dizzy like you always wanted. Your mind was whirling and your body sighed in contentment. His weight on top of yours, his hands roaming down your body, and the feeling of his soft pants emitting on to your lips was just too much. Taehyung was praying nonsense into air, he too was getting senseless and lost inside of you.

“Oh god,” you whimpered out softly, hot pants heavily emitting from your lips. His cock pulsed against your tight hole, driving shameless whimpers from you over and over until he was the only thing engraved in your mind.

His big hands were splayed against your thigh, fingertips slowly dragging down your skin, squeezing and marking to his liking. His mouth ghosted across your neck, sucking and grazing his teeth between your breasts.

“Yes, yes, fuck,” you moaned out, practically shivering against him. He was a quiet lover, except for an occasional grunt and soft moans that vibrated against your warm skin.

“Oh fuck,” he moaned out, his hips grinding against yours. He was gripping on to your thigh, fingers tugging at your garter so harshly that it started to slide down.

“I—Ah, ngh, Taehyung,” you were practically mewling. And Taehyung was relentless as he kissed you suddenly to swallow the whimpers emitting from your lips because he felt he was going to cum at the sounds you were making just for him.

“You’re so loud for me baby,” he cooed out, shamelessly praising you. “My baby is so responsive for me, so fucking hot.”

“Mhm,” you ate it all up, hands greedily marking his back as he slammed inside of you. His hips were rolling down, practically grinding against your pubic bone.

“Paint your pretty body with my hands,” he hotly sucked the tip of your earlobe, earning a sharp inhale from you as your response. “With my lips,” he continued, his lips softly ghosting your skin. “mark you and brand you with my name written all over you skin.”

“Yes, yes, do whatever you want,” you whimpered out, legs beginning to tremble.

He suddenly cupped you’re face rather firmly, momentarily slowing down his movements. As he slowly panted out each word, he rolled his hips, hitting your sensitive spot over and over again. “You’re mine, you hear me? No one can touch you but me.”

Done.

“I’m yours,” you shameless repeated it to him, eating up everything that was leaving his pretty mouth. “Ah, I, ah always been.”

“Yes?”

“Yes,” you instantly moaned out. Taehyung’s fingers were tracing your lips, watching as he fucked you silly and you responded to his demands so easily.

“Suck,” he demanded, and you happily obliged. With puckered lips, you swirled your tongue around his finger before sucking briefly.

“I know my baby can take more,” he cooed out, slowly deep throating his fingers down your throat. You gagged around his long, slender fingers, soon hollowing out your cheeks to fully take them in rather happily. He was quick in sliding them in and out, letting you do all the dirty work. And you happily obliged to his bidding, coating his pretty and delicate fingers with your saliva.

“Such a pretty, messy baby,” he groaned out at the sight of you. He removed his fingers from your mouth and with his pretty tongue, he licked and sucked to your echoing moans.

He used your headrest as leverage, hips grinding against yours as low, guttural moans left his pink lips. His eyes were screwed shut and you clenched so deliciously around him that he let out a small ‘oh fuckohfuckohfuck’ in return.

“I’m so close,” you cried out, legs wrapping around his waist. Your heels were digging into his skin, fingers pressing into every curve of his body. He moved your body against the bed, chest pressed against yours, hands beginning to intertwine with yours. Foreheads were pressed against each other’s and you both were breathing in the same heated, desperate for release of air into each other’s mouths.

“Yeah?” He panted out against your mouth, hips stuttering as you felt your body jerk. “Is my baby close?”

“Mhm,” you whimpered out again, back beginning to arch off the bed. Your heels were digging into his ass and tears began to prick your eyes from the intensity.

“Taehyung,” you cried out, eyes squeezing to a close. Legs had begun to tremble, toes were curling, and then your body stuttered and all you could feel was a hot blazing white overwhelming you.

Taehyung came with your name in his mouth and lips desperately finding yours. Your fingers instantly lost themselves into his hair, body melting and molding with his. He was still in between your legs, arms encasing you whole. His arms slid beneath yours, hands still tugging at your hair as you breathlessly continued to kiss him.

“I am so love with you, you know?” he suddenly sprung up on you, voice laced with so much emotion. His voice was breathy, and low. 

You simply gazed at him, happiness overwhelming you wholeheartedly.

“Taehyung, I am so in love with you,” you softly told him, your fingers tenderly caressing his face. “Since the moment you walked into my life, I have been in love with you.”

As he gazed at you with stars in his eyes, you remembered what he had told you the first day you had met him. How he had contradicted your viewing of how the stars seemed like background. In a sense, you felt as if you were the stars, sometimes covered by clouds, dying with time, and overlooked because you were always there. And then he came into your life and showed you that the stars were magnificently beautiful in every way. 

“Have you ever considered that the stars alone don’t need the sun and the moon? They are their own separate entity. They shine brightly with, or without them.”

“They are uniquely beautiful. And the whole romance between the sun and the moon is bittersweet since yeah they were once together in a sense, but they don’t complement each other. The stars do.”

“I love you, silly.” He softly reminded you once again, nose nudging yours so sweetly.

You brought him down towards you, kissing him as you confessed into his lips, “And I love you.”

It was during the time where the sun started peeking in through his blinds that you laid wide awake. Taehyung was sound asleep, arms around your body, lips on the crook of his neck, and you could feel his even breathing on your skin. His hair was all matted up from running your fingers through it and you were so fucking happy. A variety of colors painted your heart and you couldn’t wait until you got to see the masterpiece he had created inside of you. There was one thing standing in the way though, something that wasn’t exactly letting you fall asleep in his arms. You wondered if your best friend would set on fire that masterpiece that you called your heart once she found out you were with Taehyung.

[prose-for-hire]

Vampires Suck

Pairing: Spike x reader (gender not mentioned)

Request: not requested. I couldn’t sleep and this was the result. In my fictional land anyone can give blood (mlm and anaemic people included). This fic includes a magical loophole where (chipped) Spike can bite so long as the human agrees.

Warning: Biting. Blood. Swearing. Very heated kissing. Sex references. Reader smokes a cigarette.

A/n: Moral of the story is, give blood. You never know who might need it ;)

You had always given blood regularly. Since you were old enough you went and gave a pint of the red stuff. Not just for your free snack after. It was just a part of your life now. However, you never realised that the blood you had donated might have gone to someone looking for their own kind of snack.

It was dark out, you had only been able to come for your appointment in the evening. You had been outside waiting, you had come too early again. You didn’t want to go in yet or face the miserable receptionist who made it her mission to make you feel unwelcome in the cheeriest way possible every time you came here.

You were stood in the parking lot of the medical centre as you started to hear a rustling sound. You turned and the parked donation van was moving and someone was cursing loudly from inside. You frowned, deciding to investigate.

You walked over to the van and opened on of the doors to find a man trashing the area. It was the type of van that could allow for someone to give blood in there should it be full in the centre. 

The man had slicked back, bleach blonde hair, he was painfully attractive and he was holding an empty blood bag and staring straight at you.

“Uh, are you okay?” You inquired.

“Does it sodding look like it? All out of the good stuff in here only got the fancy gourmet kind”

“What?”

“Talking blood. Y’know, kind that gives you life... makes you hard” He said as if it was obvious.

“Right. Yeah. I’m going to go now” you shook your head in disbelief. He was certifiable and you had just made it your problem.

You walked back to your waiting spot and hoped he wouldn’t follow you. The noises coming from the van stopped, he was thinking. And now he was coming your way. Perfect.

He stood for a moment, looking you up and down before shrugging to himself and taking something out of the inside pocket of his leather duster.

“Cigarette, love?”

“Probably shouldn’t. I have an appointment soon”

“Don’t make it taste much different. Kind of... smoked I suppose”

You just stared for a moment and took the cigarette he was still waving in front of your face. If anything it was to shut him up.

He smirked as he handed you his lighter and you lit the smoke and inhaled. That receptionist was going to have a field day when she smelled it on you. She wouldn’t know which disapproving expression to use first.

“Do you have an appointment too or are you just on day release?” You asked and he actually snorted at the question, almost choking on the smoke. He was enjoying this interaction.

“Just looking for blood as I said” He explained before inhaling again. It was often easier to just loot a blood bank, charming someone into agreeing to give him their blood could take effort that often wasn’t worth it.

“Why?”

“Guess” He said and you sighed, but bit.

“You’re a vampire” you said without missing a beat. It was the lamest thing that you could think of.

“That was quick” he said actually surprised, “Bloody Drac” he then muttered realising it was probably his fault you had guessed so quick.

“Funny” you mumbled through the filter as you inhaled the thick smoke into your lungs. You weren’t convinced in the slightest.

“No, really”

“If you were a vampire you wouldn’t tell me unless you were gonna-“

“Go on” His eyes glinted dangerously as he gestured with his head.

“I think it’s time for my appointment, thanks for the smoke” You rushed the words out, crushing the cigarette under your feet. The hairs on the back of your neck had started to stand on end, you stared at the entrance to the centre but didn’t move fast enough. As if you were willing him to stop you.

And he did as you took a step away. He grabbed your arm and pulled you back. He was strong. Crap.

“Hear me out, love”

“Get off my arm, idiot” he did let go very slowly. He was starting to really like you. You were kind of rude but in a fun way. And you were extremely attractive to him. Which is how he came to his proposition.

“Won’t take nearly as much as those leeches in there would and I’d treat you to better than a cookie” he raised an eyebrow to try and entice you further.

“There’s no way that you could be a-” You started but you watched as his face shifted briefly. Fangs protruded from his mouth, his forehead bunched and ridged at the centre, “-holy fucking shit!”

“Yeah, right. Come here” he was interested to note you weren’t scared, just trying to process a lot at once. He was also hungry so he grabbed you by the wrist and pulled you back up into the back of the van and slammed the doors closed behind you, “I need you to agree” He said as he sat you down on a swivel chair.

“You want me to sign a fucking consent form before you drain me of my life?! What is this some new-age vampire shit?”

“I’m hungry, your blood is at least half-decent and you’re all I’ve got”

“What’s in it for me?” You squinted.

“The eternal gratitude of a man that will actually live for ever”

“Doesn’t mean anything if I won’t be alive to feel the gratitude”

“Bloody-“ You were irritating him, you had an answer for everything, “look, I can’t bite unless someone agrees to it. I’ll take a pint, maybe less. You’ll get something from it too, I promise”

“Does it hurt?”

“Yeah, but pain and pleasure kind of go hand in hand, right love?”

You smiled slightly at that and he smirked even more. He had definitely picked the right one. To think he was gonna try and charm that cow of a receptionist again in his desperation.

You made up your mind. What did you have to lose? 

“So you-?” He pressed.

“Agree. Consent. Go for it” you offered with a shrug so he could take his pick. You really weren’t sure why he needed it. His face instantly shifted. His demeanour darkening. It was only as frightening as it was hot. Or, that’s what you told yourself. You weren’t convinced he was going to make it as good for you. You came here expecting a small pinch and a bravery sticker, maybe a biscuit. So, anything more than that would just be a bonus. You tended not to get your hopes up to avoid disappointment.

You didn’t realise you were about to be pleasantly surprised. Very pleasantly surprised.

He sat on the seat beside you, he leaned into you, pulling your chair from underneath and dragging it towards him. He jerked your head to the side. His fangs protruding from his mouth and you closed your eyes.

He didn’t hesitate, his teeth sunk into the soft skin on the left side of your neck. He pierced your skin, making sure it was deep. His jaw locked around your neck. He retracted his teeth only slightly and allowed your blood to start to run before he began to suck on your neck.

You hissed as he had penetrated your skin. It stung at first before it started to melt away. The dull ache in your neck still there but it gave way to a much richer feeling. Euphoria.

The sensation of him sucking the blood from your wound felt insanely good. Your head started to roll back, you didn’t notice the way he firmly grasped the back of your skull. Your head moving further to the side. For deeper purchase on your neck and for your comfort. You were lost in this feeling. It was nothing you had ever felt. Pure ecstasy. It felt so good you didn’t know whether to touch yourself or him.

He drank deep, taking you in completely. Your hands started to move, your fingers crawling up his back in desperation. Willing him to drink deeper. Harder.

Your nails started to drag down his back, he enjoyed this sensation you could tell. You wanted him closer, everything about him enticed you no matter how much danger you felt you were in. Your brain was screaming and you couldn’t figure out how much of it was fear and how much was pure desire.

Your breathing was heavy and you didn’t care about anything anymore. Only him. His touch. The way his mouth felt. His smell was so delicious you weren’t sure if you weren’t going to snap and start biting him in return.

He really didn’t want to stop, your blood was the sweetest he had ever tasted. Nectar of the Gods. Your heightened arousal was affecting him too, he could taste it it was so strong. He just about managed to unlatch his fangs from your neck before he rounded into headache territory.

But he couldn’t let go of you. Usually this was transactional for him, even amusing to watch the human in their desire.

But he wanted more of you. To soak up every drop. He didn’t question it. Why this stranger made his head almost as dizzy with want as theirs. He no longer knew where your arousal ended and his began. But he didn’t think about it. He just enjoyed it.

His mouth met yours roughly, his hands were everywhere at once and you desperately missed the way his mouth felt against your neck. You kissed him with such passion, writhing against him. You wanted him inside you just like he now had you in him. Coursing around his veins.

His kiss was hot, urgent. And you couldn’t hold yourself back anymore. You started to fumble to unbuckle his belt for him but he took your wrists and restrained you, pushing you against the side of the van. Your back pressed hard against the wall. He assaulted your mouth instead, the metallic taste of your own blood mixed with saliva.

He had you there, in your mind he could do anything to you and you would have taken it gladly.

Your face was covered in your own blood, he enjoyed the sight. That he had done this. Even that you had wanted him to.

He moved, kissing down to your neck where the bite mark was still fresh. There was still some residual liquid that he caught on his tongue. He lapped at the wound lightly and you moaned into his ear making him smirk. He wanted to play that sound over and over in his mind. He kissed back up to your mouth He was almost struggling keeping your wrists at bay. Almost found it cute you were trying to struggle against him. He caught your mouth several times, your lips the best he had ever felt against his. He was enjoying this too much for something that he expected to last a mere moment. He was hungry for you in such an innate way.

You started to slow your movements, becoming exhausted.

He slowly felt the come down of your arousal approaching. He cursed it, wishing it wouldn’t. He was having too much fun. But you might want to leave it there and he was going to give you that choice. I mean, he wasn’t a complete animal.

He stepped away and you whined. You slid down the wall as he let you go, he had been the only thing keeping you up. He just stared as he wiped his mouth on his sleeve. His eyes boring into you. You felt so exposed.

You managed to slide to sit in the seat you had started in. You fought to slow your breathing down, wiping your own blood from your face as he watched you come down from the euphoria.

You now felt a little embarrassed as his eyes wouldn’t leave your form. He didn’t even seem to blink. He had stepped back from you, as if he couldn’t trust continuing to be in such proximity. You definitely hadn’t planned on doing what you had just done and he knew it. Which is why against his better judgement he had held you still.

“I-“

“Hope it was as good for you as it was for me” he smirked, starting to turn to the doors and leave the van with you still trying to form words. The wound on your neck was throbbing, but you knew you would have done it over again.

“I-“

“Yeah?”

“Don’t know your name”

“Spike” he said, offering his hand to you to help you out of the truck too. You were a bit wobbly getting onto your feet, which he was expecting. You were surprised he hadn’t left you there. To be fair, in the past he usually would.

You started walking away from the medical centre, with him by your side. You were still in a daze and he wasn’t that much far gone from being a gentleman he wouldn’t walk you partly where you needed to be (so long as it wasn’t out of his way).

“Maybe we could make it a regular thing” he posed the question innocently but there was a devilish look in his eye. You acted as if you were thinking about it. Truthfully, your mind was screaming out yes. He waited, he for some reason actually cared for the answer.

“You’d have to buy me dinner first this time” you warned but smiled as his own lips tugged into a small half-smirk.

“It’s a date”

[border-spam]

Leech Lord: If you can't take the heat...

Tyreen:

She gets cold and she gets hot.. she thinks.

She must, because sometimes how her body responds goes wrong when everyone else around her shivers or sweats, but she can't grasp the memory of how temperature felt. Of course she knows what it feels like, you idiot - she just...

Sensations have gotten hard to recall.

It's right there, heat is hot and cold is cool, it's right there dancing in the back of her brain, glancing against her fingers, but how either used to actually feel slips away every time she tries to reach for it. Something in Ty's mind is clumsy nowadays, fumbling its grip when she tries to focus on any memory she knows is missing but can't understand why - there's a barrier somewhere in her thoughts that slithers and constricts around the parts of her that are her, and Tyreen is aware she lost what heat felt like to its choking grip long before they ever landed on Pandora.

When she lets herself sink under the water of her cloister's pool, she knows it's refreshing and cool.

When she sprawls across their couch and kicks her legs up over her twin's lap, demanding a footrub through silent toe wiggles and puppy-skag eyes that he's never been able to deny, she knows his hand is warm and comforting, she just can't... feel it.

When they landed on this shithole all those years ago, she remembers Troy complaining like the whiny little bitch he is for days about the heat.

"It's too hot, why did we come here, this place sucks, you suck, I hate it here, I hate you, I hate rocks, there's sand up my ass, my skin's peeling off, I want to go home, yo that guy just ate another guy, blah blah blah blah"

She remembers every goddamn second of it as the sun left him blotchy and blistering with only his sister around to deal with the moaning, but it just never hit her. She never burned under Pandora's heat, never freckled, never tanned.. just stayed the same as she'd always looked. Perfect, while Troy wilted under Elpis.

She reacts though, her traitorous meat does at least, and that's a frustration that's only built over time. She can't feel the cold dulling her reflexes and slowing her limbs, but it still does. She can't tell it's hot enough for her head to start spinning and words to start slurring, the shakes just hit out of nowhere - nerves firing haphazardly as her shitty, prison of a body starts to error out in a temperature it can't handle but she isn't allowed experience.

Fuckin' unfair really... a God deserves better.

Troy:

He likes the heat.

Everyone thinks he complains about it all the time but that's just Ty talking shit. He doesn't, not really, he just ain't a fan of when it's TOO hot.

Like, when he opens a window, or he goes outside for any reason, or Elpis is enough of a prick to get a blade of sunlight right through that tiny sliver of flexpane between the blackout interlocking panels that curve across his sleeping quarter's main window - the one that always manages to land across his eyes when he's desperately trying to claw out a few more hours rest, or when he's off planet and the aircon's set all fucky by some suited-up corpo freaks swanning inside that weird cloying heaviness of Promethea's high rises, or when his outfit for the night's broadcast is thick in all the wrong places and he's left feeling his maw twitch between practiced lines - prickly heat itching across his skin while he puts on God King Calypso's blood-soaked show in front of scorching hot camera lights, struggling to hide the sweat AND the urge to murder the entire costume team, or...

....Ok, so, maybe he might not like the heat, but he DEFINITELY doesn't like the cold. Pandora gets so fuckin' cold at night, way more than offworlders would ever guess.

In the weeks leading up to when the rainy season breaks through the drought months, the Holy City frosts throughout the night, ices deep into concrete and rust. Nekrotafeyo never changed, it was a stable, constant warmth. Hot, but not too hot, touched by a breeze that cooled enough after sunset to sleep bundled and comfortable, sometimes even crisping enough that Ty's furnace of wriggling sleepy limbs next to him in their little shared cot was welcome.

What he likes?

Well, Sei's ship is usually comfortable enough, so that temperature - that's nice. Sanctum always feels cold somehow, he's never got the thermal settings the way he'd be happy with even after years of tweaking them obsessively... it gets good when people are over though! Maybe Ven's just really warm or something, not that he'd tell him. Can hear that molten caramel chuckle already - "You callin' me hot, boss?😏"

Jak-Knife must emanate heat too, cause Troy's sat near campfires on freezing nights listening to them whisper lies and truths and lies that might be truths wrapped in secrets Troy can't understand to their retinue of crusaders, and that's not felt cold the way Sanctum does.

Even though, I mean, it was, or it should have been 'cause he was shivering next to them so, uh... oh you know what, screw this.

Man, fuck it this question is dumb as shit, who even ASKS somethin' like.. do fans actually think he's got the time to waste on answering complete freakin turds like thi-

Seifa:

"What? There's nothing WRONG with the air, the eco scrubbers don't need replacing. Kid, shut the hell up. They're fine, I refurbed them myself - got like, 400 more rotations easy... I hope."

"... Excuse me? Are you joking? Do you know how much those things cost to run compared to what I've setup?? Feck sake, look if you want to keep moaning about "burning your lungs" n' other bullshit while I'm busy piloting us between debris moving towards us at pants-shitting speed, how about you BREATH less? It's my damn air you're SUCKIN IN FOR FREE. Know where you won't have to deal with it itching your delicate widdle throat? In the vacuum outside this hull, so how about I send you on a nice long spacewalk you jumped up cheeky piece of s-"

Also Seifa:

Aircon on full, surrounded by fans and heaters humming at top capacity, 3 dehumidifiers set to max, atomisers arranged to hit all sides of her face, splayed across her sofa watching the latest Love N'circuits:

[crystalninjaphoenix]

Hospitals & Hellos

A JSE Fanfic

Consider this a follow-up to the action of the previous part. A lot happened, including a cliffhanger that really left you dangling >:)c Sorry about that, but also not sorry. Anyway since it’s so closely related, I’m having trouble summarizing it. Basically, Chase and Marvin get some good news, there’s a brief intermission when something else happens, and then we cut back to those in more danger. That may sound confusing but I don’t want to get too spoilery. Read for yourself =)

You can find the other stories under the pw timeline tag!

Chase woke up to the sound of his ringtone, the sensation of someone shaking his shoulder, and the pain in your back and neck that develops when you fall asleep somewhere you’re not supposed to. He groaned, and opened his eyes. Where...? Ah, right. Jack’s hospital room. He fell asleep? For how long? Visiting hours must be almost over by now.

Marvin shook him again, leaning over from his chair next to him. “You keep getting a call,” he said. “You should probably pick it up now.”

“Right.” Chase stretched, wincing a bit at the ache in his body, then dug his phone out of his pocket just as the ringtone ended and the call dropped. But looking at his lock screen, he had three missed calls from one Detective Nix. “Oh shit!” He was immediately awake. “I gotta call back—”

Before he could do that, his phone rang yet again as it received another call from the detective. This time, Chase picked it up instantly. “Hello?”

“Mr. Brody?” asked the somewhat-familiar voice of Detective Nix.

“That’s me. Sorry about all the missed calls, I-I fell asleep.”

“Ah, I see.” Nix sounded amused. “I suppose I have to plan for calling you several times.”

Chase laughed nervously, glancing over at the others. He’d fallen asleep to Marvin teaching Jack the beginnings of BSL, but now both of them were staring at him, listening in to the conversation. Jack was sitting straight up, without leaning against the bed. Marvin kept bouncing his leg. The two of them were clearly anxious. “So...wh-what’s the situation?”

“Well, there’s good news, bad news, and good news,” Nix said. “Which would you like to hear?”

Chase inhaled sharply. “Bad news first.”

“We couldn’t find your friend Henrik. Or the other one who’d been taken a month ago, Jameson.”

“Oh.” Chase’s heart sank. “What’s the good news, then?”

“First things first: your friends’ tips were extremely helpful. We managed to find the house they were talking about,” Nix said. “We didn’t recover many things from the location, but we found something else. Or rather, someone else. Jackie Donovan.”

If his heart sank before, it now rocketed upward into his throat, rendering him speechless. Finally, he managed to get out a strangled, “What?”

“He was in one of the house’s bedrooms, badly injured and tied to a chair, but alive,” Nix continued. “He’s at the hospital now.”

“Which hospital?” Chase asked.

“Southpoint General, in the—”

“Holy shit, we’re literally there right now!” Chase stood up so fast he knocked his chair over. “Where is he?! Can we see him?!”

“He’s recovering in what is, I believe, the emergency ward,” Nix said calmly. “Don’t worry, he’s stable, but as I said, badly injured. Unconscious, actually. Visiting hours are basically over, but if you’re already here, and you insist, you could probably hurry if the staff lets you—”

“That’s what we’ll do, then. We’ll be there as soon as possible!” Chase hung up without saying goodbye, and turned to face the other two.

“What was that all about?” Marvin asked, confused but hopeful.

“They found Jackie!” Chase shouted, unable to contain his overflowing joy and relief. “They got him back, he’s here, at this hospital right now!”

“What?!” Marvin shot to his feet. “We gotta see him!”

“That’s what I said! If we run, we might be able to squeeze in just before visiting hours end.” Chase started to head towards the door, then stopped, and looked back at Jack. “Oh, uh, sorry, you probably want—”

“Go!” Jack waved at the two of them, pointing at the room’s doorway. “Gogogogogo!”

Chase laughed. “Alright, we’re going! I’ll see you in a couple days, probably!”

“Go!”

“Okay, bye!” Chase hurried out the door.

“Bye, Jack!” Marvin added, following Chase.

Jack waved at the two of them as they left.

From there, the two of them hurried to the nurses’ station so they could ask where Jackie was. Once the nurse confirmed he was in the emergency ward and gave them the room number, they practically sprinted to the right wing, desperate to make it before visiting hours were over. They ended up making it just in time, and both skidded to a halt outside the right door, breathing hard.

The door to the hospital room was ajar. An older man leaned over and peered through the doorway. “Ah, hello Mr. Brody.”

“Hello, Detective,” Chase said. He paused for a moment to breathe, then added, “We’re here.”

“I can see that,” Nix replied, smiling a bit. “Well, you and your friend come in. It’s Mr. Maher, isn’t it?”

Marvin nodded. “Yeah. Weren’t you at the trial? You talked about the case?”

“So I did.” Nix nodded.

“Huh. So you’re handling the whole thing?”

“Indeed. It’s turning out to be a complex beast of clues and crime. Anyway.” Nix stepped back, and Chase and Marvin entered the room.

Most of the emergency ward was large rooms with multiple beds, but there must have been certain circumstances in place to let Jackie have his own room to himself. It was small, but a bit more homey than Jack’s room in the ICU, with cushioned chairs and a couple small tables, even a TV in a cubby in a wall. The hospital bed didn’t have as much medical equipment surrounding it. But Jackie wasn’t awake to appreciate any of this.

Chase stopped short, just staring. It was eleven months since he’d last seen Jackie. He hadn’t always been that pale, had he? His collarbone and cheeks hadn’t always jutted out like that, had they? His hair was a shoulder-length mess, having grown out, and his eyes had deep purple bags under them. He was wearing a hospital gown, but there were scars visible on his arms that certainly hadn’t been there before, as well as some bandages wrapped tightly around his right arm above the elbow. Despite all this, he looked rather peaceful in sleep, breathing steadily.

Marvin made a choked sound, unable to say anything else.

“He’s...fine, right?” Chase asked, glancing at Detective Nix.

“The doctors say so,” Nix assured him. “He was injured when we found him, but they say it’s not life-threatening.”

“H-how? How was he injured?” Chase asked hesitantly.

“Well...you can see his arm. His legs are bad, looked like someone used a knife to slash them up. And there was a stab wound in his stomach. But he hadn’t lost too much blood. They say his main problem is malnutrition. He’ll be okay.”

Chase let out a long breath. “Okay. Okay. That’s good. Good to hear.”

Marvin stayed silent. He walked up to the bed and, after a moment, gently took Jackie’s hand. 

“I’ll let you two have a moment.” Nix slid out of the room, closing the door behind him.

The moment passed in silence.

——————

The car ride back was silent as well. A lot had happened that day, and the two of them sat, quietly processing everything. They lost Schneep, but found Jackie, each within a few hours of each other. Who knew what would happen tomorrow?

Chase pulled onto the street where Marvin’s house sat, and noticed something odd. “Is there someone outside your house?”

“Hmm?” Marvin, previously spacing out, snapped back to reality. “Why would someone be at my house?”

“I dunno, I assumed you would. Not expecting anyone?” Chase shrugged. “Maybe they’re in front of the neighbors.”

“No.” Marvin narrowed his eyes, staring down the road. “There’s someone at my door. A car in front, too. Who is that? I can’t see them.” He shook his head. “Too dark. The city needs to work on installing stronger street lamps in the area.”

Chase chuckled a bit. As he approached Marvin’s house, he pulled to the side of the road, right behind the strange car that was already there, and tried to get a good look at whoever was at the doorway. A woman. Dark-haired, wearing a brown leather jacket and jeans. She was facing the door, her back to the road, but when the car pulled up she heard the sound and turned to look. Odd...Chase recognized her. But he couldn’t place where he’d seen her before. “You know her?”

“Uh...I don’t think so?” Marvin shook his head, looking confused. “But I think I do? She kinda looks familiar.”

“I was thinking the same thing, actually.” Chase parked the car and opened the door. “C’mon, I want to talk to her.”

“Yeah, let’s ask her what she’s doing at my house at like ten o’clock,” Marvin said, opening his as well and heading out.

The two of them walked up the short path to the door. The woman, noticing them, waved. “Hello! I’m very sorry, ah—one of you is Marvin, right? Actually, you both look—maybe you could both help me? I’m looking for Henrik.”

That voice made Marvin stop in his tracks. “Mina?!”

Chase visibly started as the pieces clicked into place and he remembered who this woman was. Mina von Schneeplestein—or rather, Mina Pfeiffer, as last he heard she was going by her maiden name again. What was Schneep’s ex-wife doing here?!

“Ah, you recognize me, so I have the right address.” Mina nodded, satisfied. “You are Marvin? I saw you on television, I recognize your hair. Though it’s longer than I remember. But to be fair, my memories of faces are vague.”

“You saw me on TV?” Marvin repeated, looking even more confused now that he realized who the woman was.

“Um, hi.” Chase waved awkwardly. “I’m Chase, I’m a friend of Schneep’s. What are you...It’s been a while since I’ve seen you, were you out of town or something?”

“Oh, Chase! I remember you. Yes, I went back home and stayed with family for some time,” Mina said.

“Why are you at my house?” Marvin blurted out.

“Well, ah—sorry about that. It was the only address I could think of.” Mina sounded fairly embarrassed. “I thought you would be home. I am looking for Henrik.”

“Why? We haven’t seen you for more than a year!” Marvin pointed out.

“Yes, I know. It is...a complicated situation.” Mina glanced back at the door behind her. “Should we go inside and sit down?”

“No, I’m fine,” Marvin said. “We can talk about this while standing.”

“...oh. Okay.” Looking even more embarrassed, Mina stepped away from the door, walking a bit closer to the two men. “I suppose this wouldn’t take too long.”

“So you’re looking for Schneep?” Chase asked.

Mina nodded. “Yes. I received some phone messages and mail from this hospital they said he was staying at. But I threw them out. Shortsighted, it would seem.”

“I think I know what you’re referring to,” Chase said. He recalled a conversation he had with Dr. Laurens, where she said they were trying to contact Mina but getting no response. “Did you think they were spam or something?”

“Ah...no, not exactly.” Mina grimaced. “It is really a long story, and it is cold and dark out, so I would prefer if we could step inside—”

“No, tell it quick,” Marvin interrupted.

Mina bristled a bit. “Well!”

“Marv, c’mon,” Chase pleaded.

“Look, no one disappears for a year without a reason,” Marvin insisted. “And something about this seems fishy, so I want to hear the story before I let her into my house with my pets.”

Mina sighed. “I do not see why you are so concerned. Henrik and I are married.”

“You’re divorced.”

“No, they’re separated,” Chase added. “It’s a different thing.” But personally, he still considered them exes, even if the separation had been friendly enough. The pair of them had rushed into marriage, likely due to some family pressure, and later agreed that they needed some time apart to sort their own lives out. That was about three or four years ago, and shortly afterwards Schneep had been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. As far as he knew, they hadn’t gotten back together since the separation.

“It’s just weird that you’re showing up looking for him now,” Marvin said, crossing his arms. “Where were you when he first went into Silver Hills?”

“I was out of the country,” Mina repeated.

“On purpose?”

“What?”

“Were you avoiding him?”

Mina looked like she wanted to protest, but then straightened, adjusted her jacket, and said, “If you must know, then yes.”

“Ha!” Marvin barked.

“You must be missing so much of what happened,” Mina said, leveling him with a stare. She was about equal height with the two men, so it wasn’t hard to do. “Henrik and I...were starting to try again. But then his behavior became erratic, and the next thing I knew, he put his friend in a coma and started killing strangers.”

“He wasn’t the one killing them,” Chase corrected gently—mostly to prevent Marvin from saying the same thing, much louder.

“Well I know that now, but at the time, it seemed fairly obvious,” Mina pointed out. “So I left for some time. I returned a couple months ago, but only now heard the news about the truth of the situation. I saw clips from the filmed hearing between you, Marvin, and that doctor. I saw them on television, and realized something was off. So I looked it up, and now I know, and now that I do, I have to talk to Henrik about something.”

“You know...it seems a bit sketchy that you immediately thought he must be the killer,” Marvin said. “Because he was, what, ‘erratic’?”

“Yes,” Mina said firmly.

“You should have realized he would never do anything like that!”

“I wasn’t about to stick around and have blind faith! That is how serial killers draw in women, it has happened in the past!”

“Schneep would never—”

“I did not know that! He was being very strange, and with his condition—”

“Get off my property.”

Mina blinked. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me.” Marvin leaned close to her. “Get off my property.”

“No, you do not understand, I really must know how to talk to Henrik,” Mina said, tone shifting from defensive anger to a strange desperation. “There is an important matter—”

“Find that mail you threw out and get the address from there. Google it, I don’t care. Though really, if you keep talking like that, I wouldn’t let you anywhere near Henrik.” Marvin growled. “If you stay here one second longer, I’m calling the police. Leave.”

Mina looked like she wanted to protest more, but thought better of it. She walked around Marvin and Chase, staring at the two of them as she did, and then hurried down the path to the street. She got inside the strange car Chase had parked behind, started it, and drove off.

“You could’ve handled that better,” Chase said.

“You didn’t say anything,” Marvin replied, facing him.

“No, I know. You’re right, something about that seemed...weird.” Chase couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but something about the way Mina was acting was...strange. Not in a bad way. But it felt like there was something more she wasn’t saying.

“I don’t like people talking about people’s ‘conditions,’” Marvin muttered.

“Yeah, that was a bit...Just, the way she said it, like it was a given, y’know?” Chase shook his head. “But you really went off there.”

Immediately, all the fire drained out of Marvin’s body. “Sorry,” he said quietly. “I’m just...tired.”

“I don’t blame you. I feel it too.” Chase nodded. “You, uh...want to go see Jackie sometime soon?”

Marvin nodded. Day after tomorrow? he asked, signing.

“That could work. We’d have to be quick, though, Stacy will be dropping off the kids in the evening for the weekend.”

Oh, you sure? I can go tomorrow, or even after the weekend.

“No, it’s fine, I...I really want to see him.” Chase swallowed a lump in his throat. “I’ll pick you up. How about around two?”

Marvin nodded again. That would work.

“Great. See you then.” Chase retreated to his car, turning back before getting inside to wave at Marvin one last time. Marvin waved back, then turned around and went through the front door to his house. Once he was gone, Chase got in his car and drove away.

This day just kept getting longer. He really needed to get home and go to bed.

——————

Two days later, Chase picked Marvin up and the two of them drove back to the hospital around two o’clock, when visiting hours started. They remembered the way to Jackie’s room, and found it quickly. Nobody else was there. Chase half-expected Detective Nix to still be here, doing some sort of police stuff, but no, the room was empty. Jackie was lying in bed, eyes open, hands folded on his stomach, staring at the ceiling. He wasn’t moving at all, except for the up-and-down of his chest as he breathed. Chase hovered in the doorway, Marvin nearby, feeling uneasy. This sight was a bit...worrying. Was Jackie okay?

Marvin leaned over and whispered, “Is he awake?”

“I don’t know,” Chase replied in the same hushed tone. “His eyes are open.”

“Maybe it’s like with Jack? How he was before?”

“God, I hope not. I don’t want anyone else to go through that.”

At that moment, Jackie’s head turned, and he looked at the two of them. He must have heard them, despite the whispering. Chase gasped a bit before coughing to clear his throat. “Hey, Jackie,” he said awkwardly. “It’s uh...it’s us.”

Jackie didn’t respond, just kept looking at them. His eyes darted up and down as he took in their appearances. Self-consciously, Chase tried to brush some nonexistent dirt off his jacket. He should have worn a newer one instead of the old one with the first merch design for his channel.

Marvin waved. “Hi. We’re here now.”

“Yeah, hi.” Chase waved again. “Uh...how are you feeling?”

Still no response. Though Jackie looked a bit confused now.

“Uh...can you hear us, bro?” Chase stepped forward until he was standing next to the bed, then put a hand on the non-bandaged part of Jackie’s arm.

“Holy shit!” Jackie jerked his arm away and bolted upright. “You’re really here!”

“Wh—yeah?!” Chase said.

Marvin laughed.

Chase glanced back at him. “Dude, what the fuck?” 

“Sorry, sorry, I-I dunno what that was about, nervous reflex,” Marvin waved away Chase’s look. “It was just a bit funny, cause he jumped up like that.”

“I—I wasn’t expecting that,” Jackie said, sounding a bit dazed.

“You...weren’t expecting us to actually be here?” Chase clarified.

“Yeah, I-I-I thought that—it’s all a bit—never thought I’d—” Jackie paused, gathering his words. “I thought that maybe...I was just daydreaming a bit. To make myself feel better. This whole place, actually.” He gestured around the hospital room. “I guess it was all so surreal, and I...I was kind of out of it, a-anyway, so I thought this was just more of that.”

“Oh. Well, no, we’re here.” Chase squeezed Jackie’s arm. “You’re really in the hospital. Southpoint General, actually, the same place Jack is.”

“Really?” Jackie laughed a bit. “Cool, I could go visit him.”

“Well he’s in a different, um, ward, or whatever,” Chase said. “But yeah, technically you could.”

Jackie smiled, but then the grin slowly faded from his face. His eyes glazed over a bit.

“So...” Marvin jumped in, walking over to stand next to Chase. “What do you remember?”

“Huh?” Jackie blinked, and looked over at him. “Remember about what? You’ll have to be a bit more specific.”

“I mean about the whole rescue operation,” Marvin explained. “How did the police find you?”

“Oh. Uhhhh yeah like I said I was really out of it, so...” Jackie shrugged. “Not that much. I remember them appearing, I think. There were, like, footsteps, and then a bunch of strangers appeared in the doorway.”

“Did they have to kick it down?” Marvin asked, sounding a little too excited at the idea.

“No, it was already open. I dunno why. Maybe he forgot to close it all the way, he was in a hurry.” Jackie mumbled that last part under his breath, but Chase and Marvin heard it easily enough. “Anyway, they picked me up, and I’m sort of assuming there was a ride to the hospital of some kind, but I completely zoned that out. I kinda vaguely remember a bunch of doctors and some bright lights? But, uh...yeah. Otherwise, I just woke up here, in the bed, and thought I was daydreaming it all.”

“You must have some vivid daydreams, bro,” Chase muttered.

“Yeah.” Jackie nodded.

Marvin gave Jackie an odd look. “I don’t know if having daydreams that strong is normal.”

“No, probably not, but it doesn’t matter, really,” Jackie dismissed.

Marvin looked like he was ready to push the issue, but Chase put a hand on his shoulder and subtly shook his head. This wasn’t the time. “Well, we’re...we’re just really glad you’re okay, Jackie,” he said softly. “We were so fucking worried. You—you’re alright, right?”

Jackie patted himself over, wincing a bit as he pressed on his chest. “Mostly, yeah.”

“Yeah. We’re so happy you’re back,” Marvin added. “What...what happened?” Chase gave him a sharp look, but it was too late, the question was out.

“What happened?” Jackie looked at Marvin incredulously. “I got fucking kidnapped, that’s what happened. And then—a-and then—I was—we—” He stopped, taking a few deep breaths. “Sorry, I...I can’t talk about it.”

Marvin winced. “Sorry. Th-that was—that was rude. It just sort of came out. You don’t have to talk about it. Like Chase said, we were just...really worried, and we—we want to know you’re okay.”

“It’s fine, just be careful,” Jackie said quietly. “I’m okay. Except for the obvious.” In the moment of silence that followed, his eyes drifted down, attention drawn by the bandages on his upper arm. Frowning in strange concentration, he reached up and started pulling at them.

“Whoa, dude, what’re you doing?” Chase almost reached out to grab his wrist, but stopped, thinking that wouldn’t be well-received. “You need those!”

“I just wanna confirm something,” Jackie muttered, managing to loosen the tight bandages enough to start unwinding them. “They can be put back on.”

“I—you’re not wrong, but—what if there’s—I don’t know, a lot of blood, or something?” Chase speculated.

“I don’t think so. Not if I’m remembering right.” Jackie slowly removed the bandages, unwinding and pulling them off. Until, eventually, the wounds underneath were visible.

All three of them stiffened in unison. Jackie’s arm was cut up, but not in a random or accidental way. Instead, the word WARNING was carved into his skin, in bleeding capital letters, going from his shoulder, all down his arm, reaching his elbow. 

“What the fuck...?” Chase said, unable to say anything else. He couldn’t believe what he was saying. Stuff like that didn’t happen in real life, only in crime dramas. Who would actually do that?

Jackie’s face shifted as he covered up his distress with a blank expression. “So I was right,” he said tonelessly, attempting to rewrap the bandages one-handedly. Chase pulled himself out of his stunned stupor to bend over and help him with them.

“I’m gonna kill him.”

“Huh?” Chase stopped, looking back over at Marvin.

“Anti. I’m gonna fucking kill him,” Marvin repeated through gritted teeth. His posture was stiff, unmoving, his fists clenched. “He takes our friends—JJ, Schneep, Jackie—and does this? I’m going to kill him. I’m going to take a fucking knife or a gun or rope or whatever I can find and I’m going to kill him and watch the fucking life drain from his eyes—”

“Jesus, Marv, calm down!” Chase cried. “You gotta think this through.”

Jackie nodded. “Yeah. You’re not a killer.”

“I could be,” Marvin said bluntly.

“No!” Chase straightened, grabbing Marvin by the shoulders and forcing him to look at him. “Marvin, I get it, you’re upset by recent events and clearly filled with rage. For good reason, I’ll say. But you can’t just walk up to a professional assassin and attack him, you’ll just get killed! Besides, JJ and Schneep wouldn’t want you to do that, even for their sake. Just...take a step back. Go walk around and get it out of your system, if you have to. Don’t do anything stupid.”

For a moment, Chase’s words only seemed to anger Marvin more. But then, he broke away, letting out one long, single breath. He pressed his hands to his eyes, breathed some more, then let out a shout and hit himself in the chest a couple times. Chase jumped in surprise, instinctively reaching forward to stop him, but Marvin was already done. “Alright, fine, you have a point. That’d be a dumb move. Impossible and not worth it. But fuck, we gotta do something.”

Chase nodded. “Yeah. I know how you feel, bro.” Even though common sense would say to leave this to the professionals, he couldn’t just sit by while his friends were in danger.

“Um...” Jackie waved a bit, drawing the other two’s attention back to him. “What do you mean ‘professional assassin’?”

“Oh. Do you not...know?” Chase asked. “I mean, I thought you would, but...I guess maybe there wasn’t an opportunity. That’s, uh...kind of what Anti does. I think what he’s done with Schneep and whatever he has planned now is just...a side thing, maybe. We actually found his website—oh shit!” His eyes widened in remembrance, and he whirled back to face Marvin. “Marv, you’re not gonna believe this, and you probably don’t need any more reason to hate this guy, but he might be the one who stabbed you.”

Marvin gasped. “Shit, really?!”

“The one who what?!” Jackie repeated.

“Oh, right you were...gone by the time that happened.” Marvin grimaced, then quickly filled in Jackie with what happened at the boutique he used to work for. Finding out it was a front, having someone stab him on his way home one night, getting home and patching up just barely in time, then figuring the owners of the front tried to kill him and heading back to Ireland for a few months to let things calm down. “How’d you figure out it was Anti, Chase?”

“I checked his website. He has reviews from past, uhhh…’clients,’ and one left one talking about a failed hit on a guy who sounded like you,” Chase explained.

“Well, shit.” Marvin folded his arms, face grim. “That’s not good. Well, I’m not gonna leave again until this whole thing is cleared up. Fuckers try to kill me again.”

“Y’know I really don’t think you should tempt fate like that,” Jackie pointed out.

“Fate doesn’t exist, only karma. They’ll get what’s coming to them thricefold, I’m not leaving.”

“I guess...you don’t have to,” Chase said skeptically. “But be careful. We’re not losing anyone else.”

Marvin nodded, expression finally softening. He grabbed Chase’s hand and squeezed it. “I will be.”

“Good.” Chase sighed. “Well, Jackie. This has been a lot of excitement. We should probably let you get some rest.”

“No no no!” Jackie protested. “I-it’s fine, I don’t want you guys to go yet. I...it’s been...so long. You know?”

Chase nodded sadly. “Almost a year.”

“Yeah. Exactly.” Jackie grabbed the edge of the hospital blanket, twisting it. “So...you have a lot to catch me up on, then. I-it’s gonna take a while. You should sit down.”

Marvin and Chase glanced at each other. Then Marvin shrugged. “There are better chairs in this room than in Jack’s,” he said.

Chase laughed. “I mean, I wasn’t gonna say it—”

“You were thinking it, though?”

“Exactly.”

“Glad to hear my chairs are superior,” Jackie said, smiling a bit. “Pull one up.”

“Alright, Jackieboy Man, we have some time,” Chase grinned. “There’s a lot you’ve missed.”

The three of them sat, talking for hours about things that mattered a lot, and things that didn’t matter at all.

——————

“—can’t believe they—how did they know about—probably figured out about the others too—”

Jameson wasn’t paying much attention to Anti’s muttering, but every so often, he caught random snatches as Anti paced back and forth. Every time he passed by the doorway, more angry phrases passed through into the bedroom beyond. Something really had him upset, didn’t it? From what little he heard, someone had found something, and that was a big problem. Well...he had wondered if the police found Anti’s previous hideout, and if that was the reason he had to drag them out of there. Whatever the case, good. If Anti had a problem, he deserved it.

“—three fucking people in this tiny—gotta find out what’s still—somewhere new? Maybe?—”

Lying on the bed, Jameson saw Anti’s shadow pass to the left...then the right...then the left...then the right.... It kept cutting across the light that was shining into the dim bedroom from the room outside. The living room, to be exact. The living room of the apartment he was now trapped in, to be precise. Though, Anti did seem to be distracted. The bedroom door was wide open, if he wanted he could run out and—No, it probably wouldn’t work. Anti told him the front door was locked, and he probably still had the key on him. Jameson couldn’t take it from him; Anti was much stronger. Besides, even if the key had been sitting out on the table, Jameson wasn’t the only person who needed to get out.

Speaking of which...

He rolled over to his side, now facing the bedroom wall. There was a window on this side, but the shutters were closed, and actually had a padlock making sure they couldn’t be moved. Anti probably had that key, too. There was a wardrobe in one corner and a dresser in the other, the former having its doors ajar to show it was empty inside. Or...empty of clothes, at least. A figure was pressed against one wall, huddled up, indistinct in the shadows. When Jameson had woken up a few hours ago, there had been faint mumbling and sobbing coming from that direction. Now, there was nothing.

After a moment of listless staring, Jameson sat up, glanced out the doorway to make sure Anti was still occupied in his pacing, then stood and walked over to the wardrobe. He pushed the door farther open and stared down at the figure. A man. Knees pulled up and arms covering face, the classic defensive position. A moment more passed before Jameson sat down on the wardrobe floor next to the shadowy huddle.

“Ah!” The man gasped a bit, then looked up. Wide blue eyes reflected the little light in the dim room. He stared at Jameson, then asked, “Jackie?”

Jameson shook his head.

“No, no. Of course not. I’m sorry, I am just confused.” The man’s eyes squinted a bit. “Do I...know you?”

Jameson shook his head again.

“Oh. Good. I was worried for a moment there.” The man uncurled a bit, taking his arms away from his face. He reached down to his ankles, slightly adjusting the cuffs around them, binding them together. Then he glanced around. “I do not recognize this place, either. Do you?” When Jameson shook his head for a third time, the man tilted his head. “Can you...not speak?”

Faintly surprised, Jameson nodded. Most people would ask why he was quiet or demand that he talk. Only a few caught on to the reality without him somehow cuing them with signs or writing.

“Ah, I’m sorry, then. Can you hear me?”

A nod.

“I see.” The man glanced out at the room again. “My name—my name is Henrik.” So Jameson’s guess was right. This was the Dr. Schneeplestein he’d heard so much about, and had one brief meeting with, a meeting that had ended badly. “What is your—what do I call you?”

Thinking for a moment, Jameson reached out and gently took one of Schneep’s hands. He stiffened a bit, but allowed him to do so. Jameson then drew out the letter J twice on the surface of his palm.

“JJ? Oh, that is very nice.” Schneep smiled faintly. “I understand some sign language, you know. But I am afraid I am very rusty. I do not think I could hold a conversation.” His smile fell. “Do you...know why we are here?”

Jameson nodded sadly. He gestured out towards the room, in the direction of the doorway Anti was pacing and muttering in front of.

Schneep shuddered. “Yes, I—I have—he has—I have been in this situation. Before.”

Jameson pointed at himself, then made the sign for also by pointing his fingers and touching his hands together.

“I know that one. You...you know him, too?” Schneep’s voice held a combination of horror, sympathy, and strangely, hope. Hope that he wasn’t alone. “I suppose I don’t have to explain, then.”

Letting out a huff of dark laughter, Jameson shook his head.

“Hmm. That is good.” Schneep scanned Jameson, taking in as many details he could in the faint light. “I...something about this time is...different. Than when he last took me.” He suppressed another shiver as he looked up towards the shadow passing back and forth on the ceiling. “I...am sorry you are here.”

Jameson scooted closer to him. He put one hand on Schneep’s shoulder and signed Sorry with his other. Neither of them should be here. Anti should never have interfered in their lives again.

Schneep let out a shaky breath, and leaned closer to Jameson until he was resting his weight against him. Jameson pressed his head against his. And together, they listened to the sound of their nightmare pacing and muttering, wondering what was next for them.

[bunnys-beetlejuice-blog]

airhorn sounds in your ear as you try to sleep ITS FIC TIME, CHILDREN

His father’s first reaction is, predictably, nervous. They’re sitting in the living room as a family, all sort of hanging out, but doing their own thing. Hoarders is passively playing, Lydia is tucked under the couch with a book and flashlight, Emily is in the corner with her laptop, and BJ and Charles are each sitting on opposite ends of the couch, going through their phones. He gets a very sweet text from Adam, showing that the other teen has put the photo Lydia took of them in a frame, and he grins, and holds the device to his chest, feeling giddy and flustered. His dad notices. “What’s got you in such a good mood?” Charles smiles, and BJ figures this is as good a time as any. “I got a text from my boyfriend.” Charles stares. From her chair in the corner, Emily’s typing slows, and then stops, as her brain catches up with that sentence. His phone pings again, and he looks back down at a message from Barbara, then back to his parents. “And my girlfriend.” Emily closes her computer. Her smile is enormous. “Shut up.” “No, seriously!” he grins back at his mother, and then notes the color Charles is going. “Adam and Barbara?” Emily asks, knowingly, and he nods. “We made it official yesterday. I took em to th’ Smallpox Hospital.” “Awww! That’s so romantic!” “You’re dating?” Charles finally finds words. “Unclench your everything, dad, jeezus.” “It’s just… do you think that’s a good idea?” “I think it’s a great idea,” BJ says, a little defensive. “What, I’m not allowed to date? M’too weird for it?” “That’s not what I meant, BJ,” Charles frowns. But he can tell it kind of is.

“Charles, honey, he’s sixteen. He’s going to date,” Emily says softly, and Charles looks back at her. “But two people at once? And they’re-” “They’re what, Chuck?” “Humans. They’re human, BJ.” “Holy shit, they are? Here I thought they were just really crappy demons.” “I just don’t know if you’ve thought this through. Wouldn’t you be happier dating another demon?” “I don’t know any other demons, dad,” he growls, temper flaring. “Unless you want me to date Sam, an’ look like a total creep, since he’s stuck at like, ten.” “Stop it, BJ.” “You stop it! Just be happy for me!” “I am.. Happy. For you.” BJ sits back, crosses his arms, and scowls. “Got a funny way of showin’ it.” His father stands, and takes to pacing. Christ. “We should lay out ground rules.” “Me an’ Adam an’ Barb did that already.” “No, I mean, house rules,” Charles says, rubbing at his beard. “Things you’re allowed to do, and not. Oh, god, first things first, I’m going to get you a box of condoms.” Betelgeuse feels himself flush, and then Lydia finally pipes up, sticking her head out from under the couch. “Gross.”

“You’re seriously blowin’ this out of proportion. We’ve barely held hands!” “I was a teenager. I remember how things escalate. The last thing we need is someone pregnant. Especially with whatever a human and a demon would make.” “Th’ anti-Christ, maybe,” he says, unhelpfully, and he sees the way his dad’s expression twists into further worry. “It was a joke! Oh my god!”

His mother, bless her, swoops in, just then. “BJ’s just told us good news,” she says, standing, and putting a hand on Charles’ arm, which stops his pacing. “I need you to reassess how you’re making him feel, right now.” Charles looks from his wife to his son. BJ rubs at his nose, embarrassed and upset, and probably purple, and he sees his father make a choice. “BJ, I’m sorry,” Charles comes over, hesitantly reaches down, and Betelgeuse responds by throwing his arms around his dad. Chuck rubs his back. “Tell me about them,” he says, “and I promise to be cool. As cool as I can be, at least.”

That’s at least something. He can tell his dad is still worried, but he does listen, as Betelgeuse describes his two partners. “We spend a lotta time together,” he tells his father. “An’ they’re both goody two shoes. Seriously, they’re borin’, nice people.” “Tell us how you met them, BJ,” Emily smiles. He regales them with the story of Barbara and the flower, and then Adam in the library, and by the time he’s done, he’s back to feeling green, all smiles and excitement and stimming hands. It feels really, really good to not be alone.

Monday comes a day too soon, and he sort of misses the atmosphere of the library, because at lunch, he’s forced to pick up trash, with Honeywell watching him intently from a bench. The only consolation prize to this is the vice principal’s time is also being wasted. He doesn’t miss how a few kids walk by and intentionally throw things at his feet for him to pick up. They don’t get away with it, though, because either they trip and find their shoelaces are mysteriously tied together, or for those unlucky ones without laces, they’ll find a snake in their lockers. The miserable part is, Adam and Barbara aren’t allowed to hang out with him while he’s working. They’d tried, and were told in no uncertain terms to leave him alone, leave him to his task, or they’d be sent to the other side of the campus to do the same thing. A little bit of punishment, he understands. But he draws the line at threatening Sexy and Babs. He’s absolutely plotting exactly how he’s going to ruin the overbearing adult’s day when he feels a strange sensation in his chest, like a slight tug. He pauses. It’s not a pain, not really, more like a pull away from himself, which doesn’t make any sense, but that’s what it is. He has to assume it’s another demon thing.

He glances at his watcher, who seems engrossed in paperwork.

Man, if only this guy would fuck off, he could be enjoying lunch with his friends- The pull away from himself is stronger, this time. He concentrates on it, and then remembers how physical the summoning of clones is, requiring a motion like he’s tossing something, and he gives that a try, this time, gently lobbing nothing at a student passing by. The kid looks surprised, and then goes rigid, and he thinks maybe he’s killed someone for the first time, but then the teen straightens up, and stands, stiff, facing him, and BJ feels mentally split, between two bodies. He raises his right hand. The student mirrors the action, eyes wide, confused. He lowers it, then kicks his leg out to the side, and again, he’s copied. Not copied.. Followed? The other student is like a marionette, and his mind is the strings, or something close to that. “Possession,” he grins, wickedly, and then he pulls himself back all to one body, and the kid falls on his ass, confused, and scrambles away.

Oh, he is so going to use this new power for evil.

“BJ Deetz! I don’t see this quad getting any cleaner!” Honeywell has looked up from his paperwork to find Betelgeuse standing there, grinning to himself, and the teen responds by spinning around, and throwing nothing at the overbearing authority figure. Honeywell also goes rigid, and BJ lifts his hands, directing the VP to stand, and the hapless adult does so. “Looks clean enough to me,” he mouths, and hears that sentence come out of Honeywell’s lips. “Clean enough to eat offa!” With a swiping motion, he forces the man to knock his own hardly touched lunch to the ground, and then BJ crouches low, and the adult follows, shoving his face into what was clearly leftovers from some night’s dinner, and coming back up with a mouthful of noodles and dirt. The big man’s eyes are wide. He’s scared, confused. It’s thrilling. With a hand motion, BJ forces the breather’s face back into the mess of food and dirt, and doesn’t let him up until the muffled cries become truly panicked. Possession out in public might be a bit too noticeable, though, because there’s a gathering group of kids watching what the teacher is doing, their phones out, taking video, and he doesn’t need them connecting his own strange movements back to Honeywell’s. He makes a final hand motion, releasing the adult, and shoves his hands in his pockets, just in time for Adam and Barbara to appear as faces in the crowd. Honeywell, freed, sits up, coughing and sputtering, and looking horrified. “What the heck happened?” Adam asks, and BJ shrugs. “He started throwin’ a fit, outta no where,” he lies, but he feels the vice principal watching him, staring up from the dirt, where he’s still sat, dazed. He gives the adult a grin. “Totally fuckin’ weird.”

The rest of his lunch period is freed up, suddenly, as Honeywell goes to clean himself off in the men’s room.

This fun new ability requires further testing, but not right now, now when Adam and Barbara are around. Soon, though. Very soon. “I’m really bummed we can’t be in the library anymore. I tried to pop in to grab something this morning and the librarian chased me out.” Adam looks genuinely sad, at that, which startles BJ out of his downright vicious thoughts. “By the way,” Adam adds, “They put up the casting sheet today. Want to guess who got that dentist part?” Barbara is grinning wide. “Me?” he croaks. A few other kids tried for it.. He didn’t think he’d get picked, honestly, thought that maybe someone more likable, or more friendly, would be chosen over him, but Barbara squishes his cheeks in her hands. “You!” she cheers, and he blushes. “You’re going to be amazing! But that means,” she tells him, suddenly serious, “-that you have to actually try.” He nods, as much as he can, her hands still on either side of his face. “Effort,” he grunts. “Got it.” She leans forward and kisses the tip of his nose. He scrambles to throw his hood over his head, and cinches it closed, knowing for a fact he’s gone pink from the tips of his hair down to the roots. “BJ?” Barbara giggles, as he peers out at her from his hood. “Should I not do that?” “NO! No, no, I, uh, just.. Warn a guy, next time.”

He hadn’t thought through the logistics of this, clearly, because he can’t be scrambling away from them every time one of them kisses him, just because his stupid hair won’t behave itself. God, he’s going to have to start wearing a beanie, or something, until he can get this color thing under control. Annoyingly, his dad was right. He really hadn’t given this much thought, beyond, Adam and Barbara pretty, wanna kiss them. Now he’s got to work out the logistics of how he’s going to actually achieve that goal, without basically, for lack of a better word, outing himself. He doesn’t want to think that something like what happened with Kevin could happen again, but he hadn’t really seen that situation coming, and it had ended about as poorly as a budding romance can, with parental murder. So yeah, he’s not exactly confident he can trust them with this secret. Better to keep it to himself, play his cards close to the chest, not let them all the way in. That’s safest for all of them. Good plan, BJ, he thinks to himself, watching Barbara dust wood shavings out of Adam’s hair, a leftover byproduct of his shop class. No one gets hurt. No one has to know anything. He can keep playing human with his cute new partners for as long as they’ll let him.

Stretching before him, suddenly, he foresees a lifetime, several lifetimes actually, given the span of existence for a demon, lifetimes full of deceit and lies and partners who age without him, and it all makes him very tired, and sad. This is going to be how it is, he realizes. He’s going to pretend and mimic and do his best to fit himself into a template that he wasn’t made for, and he’s presumably going to be doing it forever, maybe until the minute the last human takes their last breath, because playing human is as close as he can get. It's easier to play pretend, throw a glamour on and act along, than to be himself and risk the pain and rejection, or the truth that maybe his worth is tied into what he can do, not who he is. It all leaves him dizzy, this sudden moment of unwanted clarity. He pushes it down, far down at it can go, to somewhere deep in his chest, and tries to come back to this moment, right now, because his boyfriend is looking at him. “You going to stay in that hood all day, shy guy?” Adam smiles, and BJ peels the hood back, and runs a hand through the mop of green mess that passes for his hair, and smiles, like he didn’t just have a mini existential crisis in the middle of a Monday afternoon. “What do you guys do for lunch when you’re not being wooed by an errant library assistant?” Betelgeuse forces an extra bit of pep that he doesn’t feel into his voice, and Barbara brightens. “You can come meet my friends!” She says, and he lets her lead him by the hand, across the quad, a corpse playing pretend at being alive, holding hands with the living.

They find Barbara’s friends at the lunch tables. He’s never sat over here, never really had reason to be over here at all, actually, because each table is always claimed by a friend group, and he’s never felt welcome enough to try and squeeze in with any of them. But he sort of has a group now, he supposes. If three can be a crowd, it can be a group. He does feel eyes on him as he’s directed on where to sit by Barbara, other kids at other tables watching him, maybe confused on how he’s ingratiated himself enough to actually have a place to sit. Barbara arranges where they sit, seemingly very intentionally, with herself between Betelgeuse and Adam, and Allison and Blair on the other side of the table, and they begin eating. The air is a little tense. He picks at his lunch, leftovers Charles packed for him. It smells amazing, but he doesn’t want to scarf it all down, not when he’s feeling watched, the way he is. And he is being watched, very intently so, by Barbara’s friends, who are apparently also Adam’s friends. Everyone but him seems to know so many other people. It’s almost insane, like, how do they keep them all straight? He’s only vaguely aware of which one of these similar white girls is Blair, because he’s spoken to her, at least once. Allison might as well be a balloon with a face painted on it. “So,” Blair puts down her fork. She’s eating a dry salad with little chunks of chicken in it, low carb, low cal. He’d be worried for her health if he gave a shit. “So,” he copies her instinctively, tilting her head the same way she does, holding his hands in front of himself in a mirror of her own movements. Barbara catches what he’s doing, and gives his arm a gentle pinch. “Is this for real?” Blair isn’t asking him, she’s looking between Adam and Barbara, who are both looking a little surprised at the sudden question. “What do you mean?” Adam asks, unsure, and Blair gestures between the three of them. “This whole.. This! When Barbara said she suddenly had two boyfriends, I had to check my calendar, make sure it wasn’t April Fool’s. And then it turns out to be you and..” Her eyes fall back on Betelgeuse. “Him. You, Adam, I get. You and Barbara together, that makes sense. But, like, BJ?” “Sure, if you’re offerin’,” he says, and Blair makes a face. Go on over to Ao3 to read the rest!! There's more waiting for your hungry eyes over there

[lachimolala0713]

Unforeseen | Chapter II

Summary | I have always loved my boyfriend Jimin. He is the light and love of my life. We are happy and in love for 9 years. Until one day his best friend, Taehyung, confessed his affection to me and it struck the unforeseen circumstances in our lives.

Type / Genre  | Smut, Angst, Drama and Fluff

Characters | Jimin x reader | Taehyung x reader (ft. BTS)

Author’s Note | I want to thank my co-ARMY and great friend Pied Piper for encouraging me to write my first story. To the future readers of this story, I hope you’ll enjoy this one. Thank you!

Jimin was driving a bit fast, I can see he's worried. "Love, I'm okay don't worry." I tried my best to hide my weak voice, he continued his driving and as we go the traffic light lit in red light and he stopped the car, he took a deep breath, "I know you're hiding it. I know you. I want you to get some rest at home." by the tone of he's anxious and worried. I nodded and gave him a smile, "Why don't you take a week off from work?" he asked, "What? You know I can't." I said, "It's just a week jagiya. You've been working non stop." he said and I agree with him, I am tired, exhausted and burned out from work.

He reached for my hand and held it tight. "You know how much I love my work but yeah, I'll ask Taehyung to give me a week off." I said, "Thank you." he smiled. The green light turned on and Jimin continued driving on our way home.

TAEHYUNG POV

Here I am lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking how Y/N is. I feel so guilty of what I did to her at work and I was blind for not seeing how she works non stop. I realized she never took a day off ever since she started working in my company and it suddenly worries me especially I overworked her today.

Maybe I should pay her a visit tomorrow.

I felt so light and relaxed maybe it's because of the medicine I took last night. I rolled to my side and stared at the window. It's so beautiful how the sunlight reflects on the glass door in the balcony. It felt so cozy that I just want to lie down the whole day.

Suddenly Jimin's arm slowly wrapped around my waist, I can feel his breath behind me, "How are you feeling?" his husky voice sounded so sweet, I turned around to face him, "I feel great actually." I smiled. He planted a kiss on my forehead, "Can we stay here a little longer?" he asked, he just stared at me, his eyes were full of longing, he must've missed me so much and I do too, every single day. I simply nodded and smiled to him, I felt his hold tighten around me, "I missed you jagiya." he said,

The warm water from the shower relaxed me even more. Just by closing my eyes and feeling the warm water is soothing, I feel like I'm going to fall asleep here. "Y/N..." I heard Jimin behind me, he wrapped his arms around my waist, he planted sweet kisses on my shoulder and I can't help but weaken in by his touch. He slowly slide up his hand and cupped my breast, I gasped, he played my nipples with his index finger and I can't help but whimpered. "Yes, that's it. Squirm underneath my touch." he whispered to my ear, "Jimin..." I moaned, he continued playing with my nipples, he kneaded my breast slowly in a circular motion, "Fuck!" he hissed, "They're so soft jagi." he whimpered, I moaned, I felt his teeth on my shoulder, "Moan for me." he whispered and his voice sounded sweet yet seductive. His one hand slowly went down to my abdomen and to my clit. "Fuck! You're so wet Y/N." I moaned loudly, the way he touched me down there felt new, his other hand cupped my face and turned it to the side, facing him and he attacked me with a kiss.

As we kiss his other hand continued rubbing my clit in a quick pace, I kept moaning through his mouth and he took the chance to let out his tongue inside my mouth, "Suck my tongue, Y/N." he commanded and I followed. I can feel my climax already, "Ah..." I moaned, "Are you close?" he asked gently, "Yes." I breathed, "Will you squirt for me?" he asked, "Yes." I feel I'm catching my breath with all the sensation he gives me, "Good." he said. He lifted my left leg up and held it with his left arm, while his right hand continued rubbing my clit. "Jimin..." I moaned, "Fuck you moaned so good!" he said, "I think I'm close..." I breathed, he didn't respond, he just kept working down there, driving my libido insane. "Please, Jimin..." I begged, "You can take it. You're a good girl. Right, Y/N?" he kissed my cheek but this time it was slow, it was a sweet gesture.

"Jimin..." I breathed, the sensation he's giving me drives an immense pleasure to my core, "Don't hold it. I want you to scream, Y/N. Scream my name." he whispered to my ear, "Jimin! Fuck! Ah...it's so good!" I finally let it out, he definitely knows how to make me feel good. "Yes, Y/N." I felt his voice lingered through my skin, it's seductive. He fastened his fingers on my clit, "Oh!" I yelped, with his sudden motion I tilted my head and lie on his shoulder, giving him access on my neck and he took it. He sucked and bit my neck like I'm his delicious meal. "Y/N..." he moaned my name, "Shit!" he cursed, "Oh my god, Jimin!" I'm losing my balance that I placed my hand at the back of his shoulder, "Come for me, Y/N." he commanded, and just with those words I let go of myself. "Holy shit!" Jimin was surprised with my release, "Fuck Y/N that was so hot." he said, "You're so beautiful when you squirt. Fuck!" he hissed, the intensed sensation continued flowing to my core and I felf so high.

My legs weakened but Jimin hold me tight, carrying my weight in case I fell and I felt sleepy all of the sudden. He let go my leg and hugged me from behind, resting his chin on my shoulder as the warm water pour above us.

"What do you want to do today?" he asked gently, "I want to cook you some lunch." I smiled, "I missed your cooking!" he said, "I could use a helping hand as well!" I offered, his smile widened, and his eyes are also smiling like the shape of the crescent moon. I reached for his cheek and pinched it really hard, "Argh! Jagiya that hurts!" he whined, "Blame yourself for being so cute." I giggled.

Cutting onions has always been a struggle to me, whether it's white or red it always make me cry. Jimin laughed, "Hey! It's not funny." I sniffed, "It's just that you're so cute, Y/N." he laughed, "Crying over an onion." he teased, suddenly the doorbell rang, "I'll get it!" I said, I walked towards the main door and I opened it. I saw a huge bouquet of red carnation and behind it was a tall man, it was Taehyung.

"Hey, Y/N."

JIMIN POV

I continued and finished chopping the onions and I noticed Y/N was taking so long. I put down the knife and went to her, "Y/N who was at the door?" I said as I walked towards her, and I saw Taehyung holding a bouquet of red carnations, Y/N's favorite flower.

"Hey Y/N." Taehyung smiled and handed the bouquet to her, "Beautiful flowers for a beautiful lady." he said, I am happy that my best friend adores Y/N but why do I felt anxious and worried all of a sudden?

"Hey, Taehyung!" I said cheerfully, "Oh Jimin, hello!" he greeted, "Thanks for coming over." I walked towards Y/N and stood behind her, "Yeah, we're just preparing some lunch." Y/N said, "Why don't you come inside, Tae?" I offered, "Oh thank you." he said and he looked at Y/N, "How are you feeling today?" he asked, "I'm good. Jimin took care of me last night." she smiled at him, I noticed Taehyung is not breaking eye contact with Y/N. The way Taehyung looked at her dearly is so - sweet.

I hope I'm wrong.

We went back to the kitchen and Y/N continued chopping the other ingredients. “Jagiya, you be careful with the knife.” I said, “Do you need help?” Taehyung asked, “It’s okay, we’re good. You just sit there and make yourself at home, Tae.” I said. “How’s your work, Jimin?” Taehyung asked, “It was great. We got many clients last week.” I said happily, “Oh really? That’s wonderful to hear.” Taehyung said. “Jimin has been working so hard, Tae. He really loves his work.” Y/N said, I blushed and smiled shyly at her compliment, “Well, gotta work hard for our future.” I smiled at Y/N and kissed her on the cheek.

Y/N started frying the rice and vegetables, I sat down on the kitchen isle with Taehyung and I looked at him he looked tired and stressed out. “Have you been resting lately?” I asked, “Not really. Been thinking nonstop about the company...and certain things.” he said, “Are you seeing someone lately?” I asked and we both laughed at my question, “No, but there is someone that I like.” he said, and suddenly my heartbeat fastened by his answer. "But I don't know if she feels the same way." he said, by the tone of his voice, he seemed sad and disappointed. I cleared my throat and thought of what question I should ask.

"Jimin, could you get me a bowl for the fried rice?" Y/N asked, and I quickly went to the cabinet to get a bowl for her. We prepared the food on the dining table as what Y/N wanted it to be laid out. "Oh wow, this looks good! This will be my first time to try your cooking Y/N!" Taehyung said excitingly, "You're gonna love it, Tae!" I said, and Y/N blushed at my compliment, "Alright boys, time to eat!" Y/N said.

As we enjoy the food, I noticed Taehyung kept on glancing at Y/N as she take spoonfuls of her food. It bothers me. I know Taehyung was worried of Y/N because of what happened to her at work last night but why is his eyes are telling something else?

Y/N cleared her throat and drank some water, "Um, Taehyung?" she asked, "Yeah?" Taehyung responded, "Is it okay for me to take a week off?" she asked nicely, and there was a pause on Taehyung's gesture, his eyes widened at Y/N's request.

On that moment, silence filled the room.

TAEHYUNG POV

I was surprised of what Y/N just asked. Take a week off? Why? That means I won't get to see her on weekdays. Does she hate my company? Does she hate how I manage things at work? Is she tired of working under my supervision? Is she planning to resign that's why she's asking for a week off? To think if she still wants to work in my company? With me?

I felt my heart beat faster and I can heart it behind my head. "Taehyung?" she called my attention, I looked at her and then to Jimin and then to her. I cleared my throat, fixed myself on my seat and took my glass of water and drank it, "May I know the reason why?" I asked gently, I don't want to scare her by giving my big boss vibe to her on a weekend especially I'm just a visitor at this place. "Um..." she's nervous, is that what she feels about me when she's requesting something for her own needs? Am I that superior to her?

She looked at Jimin in the eye as he held her hand and brushed her knuckles with his thumb to help her relax, "It's okay Y/N. Taehyung is just asking." Jimin reassured her, "Yeah, I just want to know why." I smiled at her, I want to make her feel that I am not dangerous, that I am Jimin's best friend and her friend too and that I love her too, "I just want to take some time off at work. I realized that I've been working non stop after what happened last night. I also want to spend some quality time with myself and of course with Jimin too." she said, I can see the sincerity in her eyes, the longing she wants to take a break from work. "Ah. But it's weekdays right? You won't be working, Jimin?" I can't believe I just asked that. Who am I to know how they spend their quality time together?

No one.

"Oh, it's my week off too. The clients wanted to reschedule their meetings with me so my executive assistant cleared my scheduled next week." Jimin said, "Ah." I said casually, "Okay. I think Y/N will need that to feel better too. I'm okay with it." I said. It's true I hate the feeling that I won't get to see her but I also hate the feeling that because of work she could get tremendously ill, knowing she's working under my company.

"Thank you, Taehyung." she smiled at me, I'm gonna miss that sweet smile of hers for a week. "You're welcome. You deserve it. You deserve a break." I said. "Thank you." Jimin said and I smiled at him.

Y/N is not mine to control. I'm just her boss. Jimin's best friend. Her friend.

Yes.

Just her friend.

That's it for Chapter 2. I'm starting to think that Taehyung looks like a possessive boss here. What do you think?

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoy it! Feel free to share your thoughts. I would love to read them!

[eideticmemory]

EVER SINCE NEW YORK VIII | MATTHEW GRAY GUBLER

Description: I was messaged saying: “If you don’t write a young Matthew enemies to lovers fic featuring an obsession with sucking on boobs then what’s the point 😔.” So, here it is, folks! The ultimate College!Matthew fic.

PART 8! Read Part 7 here!

SOUNDTRACK:

Cry Baby - The Neighbourhood.

Past Lives - Børns.

The Few Things - JP Saxe.

Word Count: 2,832.

Rating: M.

Warning/Includes: Sexual intercourse, drinking, recreational drug use, a bit of angst.

Spring, Senior Year.

Los Angeles, 

California. 

“Not pregnant.”

You fell to your knees, grasping at the air in a fit of relief. You clutched your stomach and gasped for breath. 

“Not pregnant.” Claire repeated, looking at the second test. “Not pregnant.” 

“Fuck!” You shouted. “Thank God!”

Claire broke out into nervous laughter, “Not pregnant! You’re not pregnant!” She squealed. She dropped the tests and ran over to you, kneeling down to embrace you. 

You held each other in a deep hug for a long time. You missed her. You missed her so much. She was your rock. You once thought that when things were going to shit, you wanted Matthew. 

But who you needed was Claire. 

“I’m sorry.” You whispered to her. 

“You’re sorry? I’m sorry!”

“I was stupid.”

“I was more stupid!”

“I love you, Claire,” you told her. 

“Aw,” she smiled. “I can’t even say...how much...”

“I know,” you nodded. “I know.”

You didn’t go back to Matthew’s. You threw those terrible tests in the trash, scheduled an appointment at the student health center, and subsequently spent all day with your best friend. You spilled your guts. Told her the full Matthew story from beginning to end. It was like a rush of information, a physical rush of word after word after word. And Claire just listened. She chomped down on some twizzlers, dressed in her pajamas, drowning out the movie on in the background. She didn’t speak a word until you were completely finished. 

“Pass the oreos,” she said.

“That’s it?” You laughed. “I tell you all of that and all you say is pass the oreos?”

“I need oreos to properly digest all of this information, duh.” 

You handed her the blue package, which she gladly took and ripped open. Oreo in hand, a little caught between her teeth, she said, “If he hurts you, I’ll kill him.”

“I know. He knows.”

“I mean it, kid,” she looked you in the eye. “Matthew and I...we just fooled around. You guys passed fooling around a long time ago.”

“I guess...” you shrugged. 

“You guess? [y/n], I know you better than anyone. There’s never been a guy like this. Why...why aren’t you dating?”

You gulped, “Oh.” You looked down at your fingers, “Neither of us ever brought it up. It’s just...too messy. Don’t wanna deal with it. It’s fine.”

“So, you don’t wanna be his girlfriend?”

“I—“ you were cut off by the sound of your phone ringing against the couch. You picked it up to see Matthew’s name flashing on the screen. You declined the call.

Claire watched you set your phone back down, and you recognized the somber look on your face. “Well?” She continued. “Do you?”

After that, you simply refused to continue any kind of Matthew conversation. Claire noticed your sudden urge to keep quiet, and she pulled back on all the questions. 

“So,” you said. “What about you? Seeing anyone?”

She cleared her throat, awkwardly shuffling in her seat.

“I’ll take that as a yes!” You giggled. “Who is it? What’s his name?”

You sighed, “I’ve been meaning to tell you...but you can’t tell anyone, okay? Especially Matthew!”

You put up your hand, palm facing her. “You have my word. Who is it?”

“Roni.”

You sat back against the couch, physically moved by shock. “R-did I hear you right?”

Claire nodded, “Veronica.” 

“Um...yeah...I’m gonna need you to explain.”

She chuckled nervously, “There’s nothing really to explain. Um, we were drunk...and...you were out with Matthew, and I brought her back here. It—it was a total fling. Until...it wasn’t.”

“Holy shit, Claire!” You exclaimed. 

“I know! But, Veronica, she’s so cool. She’s so hot. She likes classic films, and—and she makes jewelry, and...I don’t know, I like her.”

You smiled at Claire, “I can tell.”

“Y’know, her and I are going to LA this spring break. You should come! You and Matthew!”

You cringed, “I don’t know...you want me to ask Matthew to come on a trip with three girls he’s fucked? Can you say awkward?” 

“Just ask him! We’ll invite more people to make it less awkward, and it’s not like we need to be a foursome the whole time. Just, ask. If he says no, he says no. But promise me you’ll ask?”

You sighed, “I promise.”

For the rest of the semester, you spent a very little amount of time with Matthew. Not only did the whole pregnancy scare shake you up, but you also had a lot of lost time to make up with Claire. She kept her distance from Veronica, as well. Both Matthew and her were very understanding, just taking it to means that the best friends needed some alone time. 

You spent winter break with Claire’s family, and came back with a new, restored friendship. She continued to ask if you’d invited Matthew to Los Angeles, and you always found subtle ways to say no. The trip was quickly approaching, but so was your final ballet performance. You channeled all your energy into practicing, perfecting, all while juggling class and Matthew. 

He brought you flowers on opening night, gave you a secret kiss in your dressing room, and told you to go kill it. You did. You put your soul into the performance, everything you had, everything you were. Until you were so tired that you could collapse on stage. Your ballet friends cheered you on as you exited the stage, and you stayed with them briefly before going into your dressing room. 

Beginning to take your makeup off, you heard a knock at the door. You expected Matthew, but your ballet instructor entered. “Oh. Hey! You happy?” You asked her, stepping up to give her a hug. 

“I’m very happy! You did amazing, [y/n], I’m so proud of you. Proud of everything you’ve accomplished here.”

“Thank you, Ms. Oak,” you whispered. 

“And I’m not the only one impressed by you.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yes...the dean of the department has had her eye on you for a while.”

You tilted your head, “Should I be nervous?”

“No, no, not at all. Actually, she wants to offer you a job.”

You looked at her, stunned, blinking slowly. “A job?”

“Yep. Assistant ballet instructor. It’s a paid position, you’d be working under me. And if you choose to accept, NYU will pay for you to attend their graduate school.”

You jaw dropped, “You’re telling me I take this job, I can attend the graduate film school for free?” 

“Yes, ma’am,” she nodded. “What do you think?”

“I—“ you stuttered. “What do I think? I think it’s amazing! Thank you so much!” You pulled her into an excited hug. “Um, when do I have to decide?” 

“You don’t have to decide until graduation. But, the sooner, the better.”

You nodded, “Okay. Okay, I’ll get back to you.”

The first person you told was Claire. She jumped up and down in your dressing room, squealing with you. “Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! [y/n], this is huge! This is huger than huge! We gotta celebrate. Go find Matthew, we’re going out for drinks.” 

The three of you went out to a bar, and Claire proposed a toast to you. “To our superstar, [y/n], the baddest bitch, the best ballerina, and soon to be assistant—“

“Hey, Matthew,” you interrupted her, turning to Matthew. “Do you want to go to Los Angeles this spring break?”

“LA?” he replied. 

“Yeah, Claire and I are going. We want you to come.” You nodded, cutting your eyes at Claire. She was eyeing you suspiciously. 

“Claire’s okay third wheeling? I mean, you and I kind of come as a package.”

“Well, Claire’s, uh, bringing a friend.” 

Matthew looked at Claire, his arm tight around you. “Really?” He said. “Nice. Do I know him?”

“Yeah,” Claire and you said at the same time. “You do.”

Claire slapped your shoulder once you two got home. “Ow!” You winced.

“Why didn’t you tell Matthew?” She snapped.

“Tell Matthew what?”

“Everything! About LA, Roni, your job offer?” 

You sighed, “I’m going to tell him. Just not tonight.”

Or the night after that. Or the night after that. Or the night after that. 

Matthew didn’t know about Roni until the four of you met at the airport. Awkward doesn’t begin to sum it up. Matthew and Veronica didn’t talk at all. They only acknowledged you, Claire, and other friends, never each other. You didn’t bother asking Matthew what was up, but Claire filled you in. The last split had been bad. It was easier on them now that Matthew and you were...whatever you were. And Claire and Veronica were doing their own thing.

The group of you walked around like typical tourists. It was your first time in California, and you loved every second of it. Matthew and you stuck together like peas in a pod. He showed you around, paid for your dinners, held your hand. He was a perfect gentleman.

Until he got you into bed. Then he was the same old, horny Matthew. He wore you out with a bunch of orgasms. First, sliding underneath the covers and eating you, gripping your thighs, humming against you. Then, he used his cock to fuck you until your legs turned to jello and you came twice. When he told you to get on all fours, you froze.

“Okay, dude,” you giggled. “You have never lasted this long. Ever. What was in your drink tonight?”

“Viagra,” he said simply.

“Yeah, right,” you rolled onto your stomach. When Matthew stayed silent, you turned your head to face him. “Wait. Deadass?”

He laughed, “Yeah, me and some of the guys bought some as a joke. But I took one and now the little guy won’t go down.” 

You glanced down at his rock hard dick, your jaw dropped. You shook your head at him, and placed yourself on all fours, arching your bed into the mattress. “You’re insane, Matthew Gray Gubler.” You giggled.

“Fuck, you didn’t have to say my whole name,” he laughed. He slapped your ass lightly and knelt behind you, lining himself up at your entrance. 

“Why not—ah!” You were cut off by the sensation of him pushing into you. “I—I like Matthew Gray Gubler. Good, strong name.”

“Yeah?” He bit down on his lip, taking long, slow strokes in and out of you. “I like the way you say it.”

“I like...when you pound me.” You whispered, a sly smile on your face. 

He said nothing, just slammed himself into you. Over and over, until you were trembling and gasping. “Fuck,” you huffed, biting down on the pillow. He watched you writh beneath him, held your hips as you pushed yourself back on his cock. Your bodies moved in perfect unison with one another, and it was so good for both of you, even Matthew viagra-boy Gubler was nearing his orgasm. 

He reached around and rubbed on your clit, making sure to keep up his rhythm. You held onto his wrist tightly, calling out his name and beginning to melt into the mattress. You eagerly pushed your ass back, trying to get him as deep inside of you as possible, and make yourself come. Matthew placed sloppy kisses between your shoulder blades. 

“Come on, princess, come on,” he whispered. 

You fell helpless against the bed, your toes curled, your mouth was wide open. He licked the sweat off of your skin and it sent you over the edge. Your pussy tightened around him, and his finished you off with one final thrust. He followed right behind you, finally releasing himself, loudly, into the condom.

Yes, condoms. They’re your new best friend. 

Matthew held you against his chest, the two of you entangled in a soft cuddle session. He kissed your forehead, “My dick’s still hard.” He told you.

You burst out laughing, “Oh, God. Dumb boy, silly boy.” 

“Hey, [y/n]?” He called. 

You looked up at him, “Yes?” 

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something, but I just want you to listen. Just hear me out.” 

You sat up, nervous already. “Yeah?”

He sighed, “Okay,” he whispered to himself. “Okay. When I went out with the guys, we obviously got y’know condoms, viagra—“

“The essentials,” you shrugged.

“Right. But we also went to this film expo. And we’re just walking around, looking for jobs and...this modeling agent walks up to me. Tells me I’m very handsome, duh, and that I, uh, should come work for them.” 

You tilted your head at him, a smug smile on your face. “Modeling, huh?”

“Yeah...yeah...it’s legit. And if I take it, it’ll finally be my chance.”

“Chance to what?” You asked.

“To move to LA.”

You sat back, shocked at his words. “Hey, hey, don’t freak out on me,” he said. “Because that’s not all.”

“Oh?” Your voice came out small, weak.

“Yeah...I, um...I—“ he stuttered. “I want you to come with me.”

Talk about a double shot. You sat in utter surprise, your mouth opened slightly, your body numb. “Come...with...you?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “Let’s just do it. After graduation, you and I, on a plane, going to live in Los Angeles. How does that sound?” 

You stared at him for a long time, “That...that sounds...perfect, actually.”

“But..?”

You shook your head, “No but...let’s do it.”

Matthew broke out into a huge, bright smile, “Holy shit! Really? Really?”

“Really.”

He tackled you onto the bed, both of you erupting into a fit of laughter and joy. “[y/n]...” he whispered.

You looked him in the eye, your thumb tracing his jaw. “Yeah?”

He stared at you, sighed, and leaned in to kiss you. Softly, gently, sweetly. “My dick’s still hard,” he mumbled.

You didn’t tell Claire until after spring break. It was an accident really. She caught you cruising LA apartments online, and you cracked. Spilled the truth.

“Are you...” Claire started. “Are you dumb?”

“I—“

“[y/n], you can’t move to LA with him. You will regret that shit. You’ll end up pregnant for real, he’ll leave, and you’ll be on your own.”

“Claire, what the fuck?”

“Well, it’s true! Matthew’s not even your boyfriend—“

“Stop!” You shouted. “I don’t want to argue! I don’t wanna fight with you! I love you, Claire! But I love Matthew, too, and I want to be with him!”

Holy shit. Did you just...you did. You said you loved Matthew. Out loud. And you meant every word. 

All of your attention left Claire, and you simply continued your apartment search. You spent that night at Matthew’s, cuddled up and showing him your favorite affordable places. It felt right. Real. Being in his arms, planning a future with him. 

Right. Real.

Claire swallowed her tongue a lot on the subject. She had her opinion, she made it clear. But she didn’t want to spend your last year together in a fight. So, you both ignored the situation. Even when you began to pack up your room. Even when Matthew sent you your plane ticket. Even when the future became painfully clear. 

You stuck together all of graduation day. You partied the night before, had a small movie marathon, and fell asleep on the couch. Your families harassed you two with cameras and orders and their sheer excitement bouncing everywhere. 

You did it.

After four long years, you had your degree. Holding it was everything you imagined and more. And as you wandered through the crowd, you came face to face with the best thing NYU had brought you: Matthew Gray Gubler. 

The two of you smiled at each other across the courtyard, and subsequently ran into each others arms. Matthew picked you up and spun you around in your cap and gown. 

“We did it!” He exclaimed. 

“We sure did, and fashionably, too!” You giggled. 

Matthew pulled you into a steamy kiss, one that nearly made you entirely weak in the knees. “Tomorrow morning,” he whispered, pressing his forehead against yours. “I will be in that airport, waiting for you.”

“I’ll be there,” you smiled. 

The next day, you woke up promptly at 7 o’clock in the morning. Your bags were packed, locked, and ready to go. So were you. You hopped up out of bed, dolled yourself up. You took one last look at the room you were leaving behind. And you left. 

You arrived at the airport at eight, after getting some breakfast and saying goodbye to a few friends. You saw the plane. 

You sat outside of the airport, on the bare grass, suitcases at your side. Tears rolled down your cheeks, and you saw the aircraft rise into the sky. And something in your stomach told you that he was on it. That, in another life, you would’ve been on it, too.

You sighed, followed by another slow breath.

“Goodbye, Matthew.” 

[dreamypeaches]

self-care (kinktober day 2) | pope heyward x reader

summary: pope’s commitment to school has left you feeling lonely. you decide to help pope destress and unwind with some self-care, only for him to turn the tables.

warnings: smut (it’s kinktober y’all), cursing 

word count: 1.3k

a/n: it’s big pope heyward loving hours here, but when is it not. I’m gonna try and write a bunch of kinktober fics this weekend so I’m not constantly posting them when everyone has already gone to bed. hopefully i actually can accomplish that

Times were hard in the mind of Pope Heyward. It was his final semester of undergrad, and he needed to leave off on a good note. Amidst cramming for midterms, finishing up labs, and just the general stress of being alive, he also had med school applications to deal with. All you could do was watch as the man you loved became so filled with stress that you couldn’t even hug him without it leaking onto you.

It had taken quite a toll on your sex life as well. When he wasn’t in class or studying, he was so exhausted that he passed out as soon as his head hit the pillow, which didn’t happen often. He stayed up late most nights cramming, fueled by coffee and pure anxiety. You were left to your own devices, your hand becoming your new lover. Compared to Pope, it was like trying to fuck yourself with a noodle, incredibly unfulfilling.

Not only were you craving the sweet release that only Pope could give you, but you knew he could use it as well. He was wound so tight, it was time for him to explode. So you hatched a plan. You were going to make Pope cum so hard he would see God. But of course, Pope was always full of surprises.

He had taken his usual Saturday night position, slouched over his desk as he furiously typed and flipped through pages of his textbook. When you had moved in together, he’d set up his study space in the living room, ensuring that he didn’t disturb you during his late-night study sessions. But tonight, you wanted to be disturbed. He’d already been there for a couple hours, not paying you any mind, which was perfect. You’d spent those couple hours preparing. You were shaved and waxed, applying some of his favorite scented lotion across your smooth skin. You’d gone for a simple look, adding the tiniest amount of mascara and lipstick. The most important part was the lingerie. You’d bought this set a couple weeks ago online, and it finally arrived at your doorstep that morning, perfect timing.

You admired yourself in the floor-length mirror, not ashamed to say that you would totally fuck yourself. You just hoped Pope would feel the same way. Slinking out of your bedroom, you lean against the hallway wall that enters into the living room. Pope’s back is turned to you, his body silhouetted by the light of his laptop.

“Pope,” you call

“Yeah?” He replies. He doesn’t even start to turn towards you. You sigh, tapping your head against the wall in frustration.

“Can you look at this?”

“Look at what?”

“Just fucking look!”

You see his shoulders sag slightly at your tone, a sigh escaping his lips as he turns towards you. His at first questioning look turns to one of shock and awe as he takes in your appearance.

“Holy shit,” He breathes. You smirk, the reaction exactly what you wanted.

“Like what you see?” You say seductively. His mouth opens and closes as he grasps for words.

“Yes...” He starts, making you bite your lip as he undressed you with his eyes, “But I can’t, love, I’m sorry. I really need to finish this.”

You’re sensual stance sags as your shoulders slump, pouting at your boyfriend.

“But Pope!” You say, elongating the o as you march over to him. You push his chair back from the desk and swing your legs over his lap to straddle him. Arms wrapping around his neck, you give him your best, irresistible puppy dog eyes.

“It’s been literal weeks since we’ve done anything! I haven’t even given you a shitty, quickie hand job. I miss you, lovely. More than that, I fucking need you, and you need to destress. Can’t you just relax for one night?”

You angle your chest upwards, practically shoving your exposed cleavage into his face. His eyes are stuck to the view as his tongue darts out to lick his lips. Pleasure fills your gut as you watch his eyes darken with lust, his hands coming to grip your hips harshly.

“You’re right, love, I’m sorry. I know I haven’t been paying enough attention to you. You’ve probably had to take care of yourself a lot, haven’t you?”

You let out a whimper at his lower tone, nodding in agreement with his words. He quickly adjusts you, lifting your hips and moving until you’re straddling his thigh. The basketball shorts he’s wearing were already ruined from the way your heat was pooling against him.

“Why don’t you show me how you take care of yourself?” He asks though it’s less of a question and more of a command. You simply nod, words escaping you as his grip on your hips tightens, forcing you to grind down more on his thigh. Unwrapping from around his neck, you grip his shoulders as you slowly start to rock against him. Your clit catches on a seam on your panties, a light moan leaving you as it does.

“That’s it, baby, I want you to feel good. I’ve been neglecting you for too long, I have to make up for lost time.”

He starts to pepper kisses across your jaw and down your neck, leaving love bites across your cleavage. The way he nips as the skin before soothing it with his tongue makes your mind go fuzzy. Pope really was everything for you. He could be so sweet and gentle, caring for you like no one else had, but also drive you wild with pleasure and fuck you until you couldn’t walk. He really is the ultimate package.

The grip on your hips is almost bruising now as he urges you to move faster, your moans starting to fill the air as you chase your release on his thigh.

“Fuck, that pussy is so wet for me. Tell me how it feels, baby? How does my thigh feel against your pussy?”

“F-fuck, Pope, it feels so good. I’ve missed your body so much.”

“Don’t worry, love, I’m going to make it up to you. I promise,” He whispers against your neck as he continues to place soft kisses. You tighten your hold on his shoulders, grasping for any amount of stability as you grind down on him, the coil in your gut tightening quickly. Burying your face in his neck, a string of curses and moans leave you as you rub yourself on him, the edge so close yet so far away.

“Please, Pope, help me. I want to cum so bad. Help me cum, baby!” You beg. You feel him smile against your temple.

“As you wish, love.”

His thumb finds your clit, rubbing slow circles against it that greatly contrasts your furious grinding. You shout out at the added sensation, moaning his name against his throat. You feel the vibrations of his chuckle, screaming as he presses harder against your sensitive bundle.

“Oh my FUCK, I’m gonna cum.”

“That’s right, love, let it out. Cum all over my thigh.”

You do exactly that, biting against the juncture of his shoulder and neck as your orgasm washes over you. He helps you ride it out, moving your hips for you as your body seems to go limp with pleasure.

“So good for me, love, so good. But that’s only the beginning, I’ve got a month's worth of orgasms to make up for.”

He doesn’t give you much time to recover before he stands, throwing you over his shoulder as he does. Landing a firm slap against your ass and earning a giggle, he makes his way to the bedroom where he throws you down onto your shared bed.

He gazes down at you, already fucked out, legs spread revealing your soaked panties. You shrink against his loving gaze, the passion in it almost overwhelming.

“What the fuck is wrong with me, not taking advantage of having the most beautiful woman in the world.”

You blush, pulling your lip between your teeth as you beckon him over. He abides and hovers over you, lips ghosting against yours.

“Don’t worry, love, we’ve got forever to take advantage of each other.”

taglist: @hoodpankow @toriswrites @httpstarkey @rae131415 @https-luna @solllaris @khiaraaa-in-spacee @rudypankow-whore @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch @dontjinx-it @rudyypankow @joshy-obx @rafej-cambanks @diverdcwn @anxietyandtacos @thedemonsimpofcamphalfblood @obx-slut @girlsru1eboysdroo1 @stfukie @rekrappeter @butgilinsky 

[ticklishtypings]

Ticklish Tutorial (Todo x Deku)

A/N: This took me THREE days to write, holy crap. But it was so much fun to write and I loved some of the personsl headcanons I weasled in there as well. I hope you enjoy <3

Disclaimer: This is a sfw tickle fanfic (I do not do nsfw for any fandom)

Summary: Shouto Todoroki had a hard upbringing, that was known to all. But to have no affection whatsoever? It shocked Izuku when he found out the poor boy had no idea what tickling was but he is more than happy to show him what it is.

Word Count: 1,680

It wasn't a secret amongst class 1-A that Shouto had a rough upbringing. They tried to help him experience things he never got to due to his fathers' "training," so it wasn't a surprise to Midoryia that he had probably never experienced tickling before. Endeavor considered anything that brings pleasure to a weakness that can be used against you in combat. In short words, the boy never received affection, and he always shied away from anything considered remotely close to it.

“No way, you’re ticklish?” Izuku exclaimed, watching the taller boy look at him strangely. 

They had been doing physical training after school, organized by Ida, but before hand they paired up to stretch, Midoryia and Todoroki got paired together. They had been doing simple stretches alongside crunches. Todoroki asked him to hold his feet down, which was a bit hard since he went so fast. It resulted in Izuku having to dig his hands into his feet a bit, his thumbs drilling a bit into the arch of his foot. He wasn’t expecting the son of the #2 hero to cough up a laugh. 

“Todoroki! Are- are you okay?” His voice was full of concern. 

“Yeah. You didn’t hurt me. I don’t know what you did.” He rubbed his foot, trying to get the tingly feeling to go away. 

“What? I was just holding down your feet- wait. Todoroki..no way, you’re ticklish?” 

He had heard that word before, amongst the group, as they engaged in many tickle fights before. But he himself had no clue as to whether or not he was ticklish. 

“I don’t know.” He answered truthfully, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly. 

“What do you mean you don’t know? How do you not know?” 

“I just don’t know. It was never in my life.” 

Midoryia felt his heart pang a little bit. How has he never been tickled? Not even by the group? No one dared touch him probably..

Mischievous eyes fell upon the bi-colored hair boy, who shot his friend a worried glance. His mischief left his eyes and was replaced by sympathy instead. 

“Are you okay with me trying to tickle you? Just a quick one, to you know, see if you’re ticklish? We won’t do anything more than you’re comfortable with.” 

“I guess.” He shrugged, he knew Midoryia would probably tell the others and once Kirishima or Kaminari found out they would try to figure it out as well. 

“Okay, I’m going to tickle your sides, they’re commonly ticklish.” Izuku stated before he reached both hands out to squeeze his sides. 

Todoroki watched his hands approach, his body automatically squirming. Why was he moving? Why was his heart racing? What was happening? Sensations. Wiggling hands met sides. The sound was music to Midoryia’s ears, Shoto’s laughter. It was soft, kind of quiet, and had an almost child-like bubbliness to it. It was almost intoxicating. A blush formed on the cheeks of both of them. 

“You are ticklish! That’s funny, but as promised, that was it. Wanna keep doing reps?” Izuku gestured to himself, starting to stand up to continue the training. 

“Do it again.” Was all Todoroki said, his face full of sincerity yet seemed to be confused. 

He wanted to feel it again, to feel what he’s been missing out on all these years. To feel loved. To feel something, and with tickling he felt so much. He felt happy, loved, carefree. 

“Todoroki-kun? Are you sure? You want me to tickle you?” He questioned, unsure if he heard him correctly. 

“Yes. Why won’t you?” God, the boy didn’t experience tickling enough to understand that most people hate being tickled and that it isn’t a common thing to just outright ask for it. 

He felt his heart soften though, the boy found something he enjoyed and probably reminded him of something he didn’t have. Who was he to deny him? He got everything in life, especially motherly love.. 

“Okay, but you need to tell me when to truly stop, we’ll have a safe word. Icyhot.” Todoroki rolled his eyes at that. “Do you want me to tickle you gently or maybe something Bakugo style?” 

He could sense a little fear in the bi-color haired boy once he mentioned Bakugo’s method of tickling. Once Bakugo starts on you, you don’t get a single break until you’re about to pass out. Maybe that was too rough for a first time, maybe they should start with something gentler. 

“We don’t have to do that! I swear! It was just a stupid suggestion!” Midoryia began apologizing, not wanting to ruin his experience with tickling so fast. 

“Midoryia, just tickle me.” There was a hint of desperation in his voice, and Izuku calmed down now, realizing it didn’t have to be anything special, he just wanted the action itself as it was. 

He instructed the boy to lay on his back, asking permission to straddle his waist (which was given) before going further. 

“Do you want any type of restraint? Or would you feel more comfortable with none at all?” He was quick to answer that he didn’t want to be restricted, a bit of anxiety coming with that answer as well that Midoryia picked up on. 

Gently, he began to spider the lee’s sides, starting off experimentally. It wasn’t crazy ticklish there, but it got him squirming and a smile forming. Drifting from his sides he went more towards his midsection, traveling up to his ribs. Applying a bit more pressure now, a few giggles escaped. 

“Come on, Shoto. Let me hear that cute laugh of yours.” He gently teased, he knew Todoroki wasn’t used to teases, and he didn’t want to patronize him or make him feel helpless. He was rewarded by the giggles turning into belly laughs, the same laugh he heard earlier, the one that caught his heart. 

Midoryia switched up tactics from scribbling against his ribs to massaging. God, the boy damn near screamed! He kept thrashing from left to right, but primarily to the right. There was warmth on his fingers suddenly...actually...all over his body. But only on the left side? 

“Todoroki? Are you okay? You’re getting warm, are you trying not to use your quirk?” He asked, genuinely concerned. 

“N-no. Uhm,” He was trying to calm down a bit to answer, “When I blush my entire left side gets a bit warmer.” 

Midoryia couldn’t help but smile, that was the cutest shit ever. He continued, curious about where else the boy was ticklish at. His ribs seemed to be a hot spot but he wanted to explore new places. Skittering his fingers up to the boys neck now, he was rewarded with louder laughs. 

“MIHIHIHDORYIHIHIA!” Todoroki happily laughed out, his hands trying to grasp the fingers teasing his neck and collarbone. 

“Yes, Todoroki?” But no answer came, just more happy laughter. 

Todoroki has never felt this...this...relaxed. There was absolutely nothing on his mind except the tickly feeling and how nice it was. 

“What if I tickle here? Does that tickle?” Those damn teases followed by wiggling fingers traveling towards his underarms but there was no response.

“It does not. Why does it not? Am I broken?” His voice seemed sad, as if tickling was an item that he damaged. 

“No! No, not at all. Some people just aren’t as ticklish in some areas while others are. Like for example, uhm. You may not be ticklish here but you could be ticklish elsewhere...like...here!” He scanned his body, trying to find an odd place to be ticklish before his eyes fell upon the boy’s hands.

Midoryia glided his fingernails carefully over his palms, noticing his eyes widen and giggles stream from his mouth. Squirming constantly, it was hard to stay on top of him. 

“Wow, Todoroki-kun! You’re really ticklish here! I wonder if it will work on you...it always worked on Bakugo when we were kids...” The statement made him shiver, if it worked on Bakugo of all people what was in store for him? 

Shoto eyed the green haired boy as he lifted his palm to his lips and blew. His eyes didn’t stay on him long though, he threw his head back cackling, his back completely arched. The sensation was overwhelming, his mind couldn’t focus on anything other than the tingling sensation that shot all over his hand and up his arm. He could barely catch his breath before Midoryia blew rapsberry. He tried pushing his head away, wildly kicking his feet, tiny fire sparks coming off him on one side and little snowflakes off the other. 

“PLEHEHEHE!” He couldn’t even form a sentence!

“You know the safeword if the tickling is too tickly for the number one ticklish hero~” Midoryia teased, continuing to scratch and trace the little lines on his palm. 

“IIHIHIHICY HOHOHOHOT!!” He pleaded, tears of mirth streaming down his face. 

The tickling came to an immediate halt and Midoryia got off his classmate, who immediately curled up into a ball grabbing his midsection, still drunk off giggles. 

“Are you okay? Did- did I go to far? I’m sorry if I did-” Mindless rambles poured out of Izuku’s mouth before being interrupted. 

“No. It was fun. Thank you, Midoryia. I can see why everyone engages in this play around school. They never include me though.” He seemed to be confused as to why he was left out of something fun. 

“I’m unsure, I don’t think they meant it Shoto, but I don’t think that will last too much longer. I’ll make sure of it.” He smiled, playfully teasing his palm, causing ice to shoot out and make Midoryia scream. 

“You could of done that the entire time?!” 

“Yes. But you weren’t hurting me, so there was no reason to. You caught me off guard this time.” 

“Right, okay, note to self: you need to be aware before you’re tickled or else I might die.” That got a Todoroki chuckle (basically a puff of air) as they both stood up. 

“Continue practice?” Todoroki suggested. 

“You aren’t tired?!” 

“No, why would I be tired? All you did was tickle me.”