#homoerotism because the author hates women

[doctrpepper]

actually its so hard to get into death note as an adult. you have to be a teen and think L and light are the coolest and then revisit that obsession later as an adult and realize its a comedy

[victimsofyaoipoll]

Finals

Propaganda Under Cut

Sakura Haruno

Her husband is gay and her author doesn't know how to write women. So many people say she's the worst but she. DESERVES. BETTER!!! Save her from this franchise.

My baby girl my bestie my best friend. She committed the crime of um being written by kishimoto who both doesn’t know how to write women and somehow writes men in the gayest way possible specifically naruto and sasuke. Like the thing is naruto and sasuke ARE gay and also she gets so much hate for the crime of kishimoto writing her one dimensionally in love with sasuke. I know her personally she is a butch lesbian to me just trust me she’s in love with Ino and has a lesbian thing going on with Karin okay just trust me. My everything. She needs to divorce the loveless lavender marriage she’s in 

What is there to say, even? The OG Threat to my 90s anime brain, the only woman I've ever hated with such a passion she made me turn away from the color pink. I used to write fics with my friend where she got left behind on purpose so our OCs could join the Naruto and Sasuke team instead. I loathed this bitch until I was 16 and realized the author simply couldnt write women and decided it was time to make peace with Sakura. It is not her fault she's vaguely written and obsessive over Sasuke. She deserves better. Sasuke and Naruto still should be together and Sakura shouldnt be with Sasuke but I no longer believe this because I hate Sakura, it is because I love her. She deserves a spouse who will actually put in the time to treat her like the hero she is.

Misa Amane

she gets treated in-canon the way fandoms treat female characters that Threaten an m/m ship. it's like, "oh why don't you go sit in the corner and be pretty, misa, while the Men have intelligent conversation and pretend they aren't ten seconds from fucking each other, doesn't that sound nice?" it's infuriating. and MAYBE it's better now but i remember her getting treated the same way in fanfiction too, like we all need to do just as badly by our female secondary characters as fucking tsugumi ohba, but with the added insult of making her be alternately oblivious of the relationship between light and L or actively trying to sabotage it—incompetently, of course, because god forbid misa be allowed dignity or moments of cleverness.

she's one of the first characters I think of when I consider old school fandom misogyny. The annoying bitch and clingy crazy gf allegations were AFTER HER ASS. She's also a lot more intelligent than people gave her credit for, but most seem inclined to take the Very Biased word of our unreliable, narcissistic narrator and his homoerotic arch nemesis and claim that just because she's bubbly and into romance that she's also a complete moron. Which is blatantly untrue. Everyone was afraid of Misa girlbossing too hard. Killing people and devoting yourself to the deranged twink of your dreams even though you know he'll never love you back??? Having a hardcore goth aesthetic and being so Hot even literal Death Gods are into you?? God forbid women do ANYTHING!

Not only is she the victim of yaoi culture, she is the victim of early 2000s misogyny by an author that wanted to introduce a girl character because he knew his male rivals were getting too homoerotic. She is a goth bimbo icon who portrays what I think is one of the few callouts for stan culture and what parasocial relationships can do to both the stan and the idol. The fact that she is a toxic fan of Kira and also hot, funny, sociable is tragic in its own way, which I think the author did try to touch on but was too misogynistic too really get through. Of course, she was reduced to villain status by the fandom and anime alike because she got in the way of the supposed romance in their psychological horror anime

[marzipanandminutiae]

Reading “A Rather Haunted Life” and so far I have five main thoughts:

1. The author is such a great biographer generally that she really spoils her writing even more by utterly refusing to engage with any aspect of Jackson’s life through a homoerotic lens, than if the rest of the book were mediocre

2. Seriously, she addresses it once and that’s basically to say “yes, she wrote about being accused of lesbianism in college to the point where a male crush lost interest in her because she was so close with her best friend – whatever the actual nature of the relationship might have been, which is uncertain – and yes, she loved The Well of Loneliness, and yes, at least one of her books has seriously sapphic themes (and yes, she got so frightened- not angered, frightened -by having those themes pointed out that she wondered at her own fear, in private correspondence). BUT SHE NEVER SAID “hey I want to fuck women” SO PROBABLY NONE OF THIS MEANS ANYTHING AND SHE WAS 100% HETERO.” I mean. Come on.

3. Yes, Shirley Jackson seems to have experienced attraction to men. I would not say that she was a lesbian by the modern, usually exclusive definition. But like… There’s academic caution about a historical figure who never openly clarified her sexuality, and then there’s naïveté or outright homophobic erasure of queer possibility.

4. Fuck Stanley Hyman; all my homies hate Stanley Hyman

5. I need to read more Shirley Jackson I need to get weirder

[fitz-higgins]

LGBT literature of the 1860s–1910s. Part 5

After a long pause, the list is back! Here we have a couple of plays, accounts by two trans women, lesbian poetry, and more.

1. Despised and Rejected, by A.T. Fitzroy (Rose Allatini; 1918). A pacifist novel published during World War One? With gay and lesbian characters? Yes, that was sure to get people in trouble. Its publisher was fined and the judge called it “morally unhealthy and most pernicious”. So, Dennis is a young composer who hates violence and therefore refuses to go to war. He also suffers because he is a “musical man”, that is, gay, and loves Alan, art-loving son of a wealthy businessman. His friend Antoinette, meanwhile, is “strangely attracted” to a woman. Nevertheless, the two attempt to love each other. When the war begins, Alan appears in Dennis’ life again, and they try to avoid being sent to the front together. Alan also persuades Dennis to accept who he is. Edward Carpenter himself defended the novel, saying that “the book is also a plea for toleration of a very much misunderstood section of humanity”. Read online

2. Autobiography of an Androgyne, by Ralph Werther (1918). Ralph Werther, also known as Jennie June, wrote this autobiography for doctors, and it is very revealing. Being a New York fairy (male prostitute) and possibly a trans woman, they tell frankly about the city’s gay underworld of the early 20th century and their personal experience, which is sometimes too frank and dark perhaps, but all the more interesting. Read online 

3. Poems by Mikhail Kuzmin. Kuzmin was not just the author of Russia’s first gay novel, but also a poet. Many of his works were dedicated to or mentioned his lovers. I’d recommend Where Will I Find Words (in English and Russian), Night Was Done (both in English and Russian), from the 1906-1907 collection Love of This Summer (available fully in Russian), mostly based on his love affair with Pavel Maslov in 1906. And also If They Say (in English and Russian), which is a great statement.

4. The Loom of Youth, by Alec Waugh (1917). A semi-biographical novel based on Evelyn Waugh’s older brother’s experience at Sherborne School in Dorset. It is a story of Gordon Caruthers’ school years, from the age of 13 to 19, and it is full of different stories typical for public schools, be it pranks and cheating exams or dorm life and sports. Although the homosexual subject was quite understated, the author implied that it was a tradition and open secret in public schools. The book became popular and soon caused a great scandal. Worth noting that before that Alec was expelled for flirting with a boy.  Read online 

5. Two Speak Together, by Amy Lowell (1919). Lowell was a famous American poet and lesbian. Many of her poems were dedicated to her lover, actress Ada Dwyer Russell, specifically the section Two Speak Together from Pictures of the Floating World. These poems are infused with flower imagery, which wasn’t uncommon for lesbian poetry of the time. Read online

6. De berg van licht/The Mountain of Light, by Louis Couperus (1905-1906). Couperus is called the Dutch Oscar Wilde for a reason: this is one of the first decadent novels in Dutch literature. It is also a historical one, telling about a young androgynous Syrian priest Heliogabalus who then becomes a Roman Emperor. Homoerotism, hedonism, aestheticism: Couperus creates a very vivid world of Ancient Rome. He also covered the topic of androgyny in his novel Noodlot, which was mentioned in Part 3 of this list. Read online in Dutch 

7. Frühlings Erwachen/Spring Awakening/The Awakening of Spring, by Frank Wedekind (1891, first performed in 1906). This play criticized the sexually oppressive culture prevalent in Europe at the time through a collection of monologues and short scenes about several troubled teens. Each one of them struggles with their puberty, which often leads to a tragic end. Like in The Loom of Youth, homosexuality is not the central focus of the play, but one character, Hänschen, is homosexual and explores his sexuality through Shakespear and paintings. The play was later turned into a famous musical. Read online in German or in English

8. Twixt Earth and Stars, by Radclyffe Hall (1906). Though it wasn’t known to many at the time, these poems were dedicated to women, some to Hall’s actual lovers. Read online

9. The Secret Confessions of a Parisian: The Countess, 1850-1871, by Arthur Berloget (published in 1895). This account is similar to the Autobiography of an Androgyne, albeit shorter. The author nowadays is thought to be a trans woman. They describe their love for women’s dresses, the euphoria from wearing dresses, makeup and wigs, the life as a “female impersonator” in Parisian cafe-concerts, and their love affair with a fellow prisoner. The autobiography is not available online, but you can read it in Queer Lives: Men’s Autobiographies from Nineteenth-Century France by William Peniston and Nancy Erber.

10. At Saint Judas’s, by Henry Blake Fuller (1896). This is possibly the first American play about homosexuality. It is very short. An excited groom is waiting for his wedding ceremony in the company of his gloomy best man. They are former lovers, and this short scene is not going to end well… Read online

Previous part is here

[festeringmoons]

overall I think it’s fine to not like Marcella(you cannot be expected to like every fictional character ever, and she obviously is nowhere near a perfect person; far from it) but if you hate her because she took up space in a book the author has stated is specifically about women reclaiming power and you wanted to see more of your homoerotic serial killer boys then you should reevaluate your fucking biases <3

[bthump]

I’m not coming from a place of hate at all, I enjoy your takes on Berserk homoeroticism and appreciate your refreshing ability to make well informed, intellectual analysis so accessible for other fans. It is an important resource to have when dudebros try to make their homophobic bias sound like good arguments. However, when it comes to your analysis of Casca, I find myself disagreeing with almost everything you say. I’m usually only reading your blog quietly because I enjoy the discourse, but I feel like I need to add my two cents. I agree that Cascas writing falls flat to a degree, but I can’t help but think that you’re downplaying her character and arc because you don’t enjoy the parts of Berserk that aren’t about homoerotic tension between Guts and Griffith. Their homoerotic tension is also what is most interesting to me, but it’s not what Berserk is inherently about. We could dismiss Casca by saying ˋMiura can’t write women´, but then again characters like Farnese exist who have an entire complex thematic arc tied to religious extremism, authoritarian character and freeing herself from dogmatism and Berserk as a story is not punishing her or asking for redemption and is instead inherently ridding itself from moralizing judgements of characters. She’s allowed to evolve by herself. As a queer person, I see myself in her. Theres so much queerness and comphet in her story, I’m sad that there’s not many meta posts about her on here. Does Berserk have ideological streaks of conservatism and misunderstands women because Miura has a misogynistic bias? Yeah, unfortunately. But the story and many of the main characters are too complex and ambiguous for me to write them all off based on how some of their arcs are not feminist enough and could need improving. Imagine writing such a complicated and long story with so many characters as just one simple Japanese dude who never leaves his house and who was born in the 70s or whatever. Like, I get separating the story from the author and impact versus intent, but dismissing Casca because of her flaws in writing is dismissing all of Berserk because of some thematic flaws. It sounds like you’re expecting the perfect story for her to be a valid female character and that’s just not possible. I for once made peace with her flaws and am not rejecting her. I think Cascas story works for what it is and I empathize with her as someone who has experienced misogyny and SA. Farny and Schierke working through her trauma magically was a nice metaphor for solidarity between women and it’s rare to see that coming from a male author, I don’t think it’s less valid just because Miura has some gender bias. Casca still experiencing PTSD afterwards is also realistic and shows that Miura is willing to give Casca enough agency to work through that by herself without magic some time in the future of the story. Her story is uncomfortable and her character arc is long and flawed, but that’s what makes it impossible for me to dismiss her. I’m a bit disappointed that so many fans on the tumblr side are willing to basically rid Griffith from all his wrongdoings but then empathize the flaws in Casca and don’t understand that maybe they also have some internalized misogyny that doesn’t make them understand that bias. Especially with the argument that I often see with She Should Have Died. Why? Because she’s uncomfortable? Maybe explore that within yourself. Other than that I am happy to have this queer part of the fandom where we don’t judge each other for liking Griffith and enjoying GriffGuts as a ship. And I hope that you don’t think too harshly of my criticism, for it is only to improve our fandom discourse culture and not to throw stones. Thank you for existing!

Okay look, while I do appreciate the appreciation for my non-casca blog content, I can't look past this coming hand in hand with a lot of pretty insulting, and frankly baseless assumptions about my motives. I'm glad you're not coming from a place of hate, but from the sounds of it you're coming from a place of presumptive judgement, and I want to address that.

I've always been very direct and clear about how I don't think someone's tastes or opinions about a story reflect on them personally. I don't judge someone's character by their fictional interests, I judge it by their words and actions.

If you're going to be interacting with my blog, I'd appreciate being extended the same benefit of the doubt.

You seem to see someone who doesn't enjoy Casca's storyline and make assumptions about why, rather than taking the reasons I provide at face value. I have explained why, very thoroughly, quite often, and quite recently, while constantly referring back to the text and to Miura's comments to justify my conclusions. I literally don't know how I can possibly be more direct about how I am discussing the narrative of a story on its own terms without going full dry academic language lol, come on.

I like to think I'm also very clear about when I'm expressing my subjective opinion (eg i dislike het romance; I'm super into romantic betrayal as a trope, etc) vs when I'm analysing the story based on direct textual evidence (eg casca has no active involvement in the narrative post-eclipse; casca's sexual abuse is eroticized; etc). I certainly try to be. And frankly it is genuinely pretty insulting that you think I'm incapable of judging Casca's story on its own merits or lackthereof, and must be over-emphasizing the flaws of her narrative because I only care about griffguts.

The truth is I genuinely believe that Griffith and Guts' relationship is the thematic core of Berserk, based on the text of the story, and I also genuinely believe Casca's storyline sucks ass in most ways. And it's okay to disagree with one or both of those takes, but yeah I'm gonna take a little bit of offense at the insinuation that I'm too biased by shipping or misogyny or both to analyse the story.

If you love Casca's story despite its flaws, good for you. I'm happy for you. I have no desire to argue with you to make you change your mind. And I don't think it makes you misogynist or ableist or racist, even though I think Casca's storyline contains all of the above to some degree - but if I was going to respond to you in the same vein that you've responded to me, that would be fair game as an assumption. It would also be fair game to assume that you only like Casca and are dismissive of or blind to many of the story's faults because you're projecting or you ship gtsca or you think good feminism is all about stanning certain designated fictional characters regardless of their actual depiction. And I think that is something wrong with fandom culture. I think those are all shitty assumptions to make about someone based on which fictional characters they enjoy reading about most. So like, straight up, you're the only one throwing stones here.

So I want to ask you: why is it that someone discussing offensive fictional tropes makes you assume they are the real misogynist? Why are you equating criticism of writing with criticism of real women, as though media trends and narrative framing don't exist? Why do you think it even matters if I "reject" a fictional character because I don't like how she's written lol?

This strikes me as the same line of thinking that leads to shutting down all criticism of misogyny in media - how dare you say this outfit is unrealistic for a martial artist, some women like to wear high heels! How dare you criticize the average husband/model-esque wife trope, some beautiful women love their average husbands! How dare you criticize comics for fridging the girlfriends of superheroes, women sometimes suffer horrible fates in real life! How dare you criticize the born sexy yesterday trope, some women are naive! etc etc etc.

And this is why it's important to have at least some understanding of narrative framing and greater media trends when discussing media on any level beyond headcanon and projection. Casca isn't real, and as a construct she is not a sensitive or realistic depiction of a traumatized woman, regardless of whether someone identifies with her. She's not a sensitive or realistic depiction of a disabled women either. There are literally "funny" cartoonish background gags involving her shoving random things into her mouth. She gets sexy fanservice while regressed to the mentality of a toddler. She is sexually assaulted by and then shipteased with the protagonist. I could go on all day lol, lbr here. I should not be obligated to brush all that aside and pretend it doesn't irritate me and sometimes offend me in order to valorize a woman who doesn't like, yk, exist.

You and anyone else are free to project on her and relate to her and sympathize with her and love her, and I think that's great and what fandom is all about, but that still doesn't make her writing strong. And I think it's worth discussing how and why her writing fails, the same way it's worth discussing any other flaw of Berserk, like Guts' character flattening with the Eclipse, or Farnese's sudden personality 180, or the awkward pacing, or the prominent scary black man trope, etc, all of which I've also discussed plenty. If you feel like I've disproportionately focused on Casca criticism, then there are 2 reasons for that: 1. I respond to asks 99% of the time, so it's what the people are asking about. 2. Casca's storyline is the most prominent bad and offensive writing in the story, like it's the number one thing that's likely to drive new potential fans away, so of course people are going to want to talk about it.

Also I've written like, a lot of meta and speculation and headcanons etc about Casca beyond criticism of her narrative lol, so if you're sad about the lack of discussion and meta about her it's ironic that you're coming to me with that complaint. Be the change you want to see in the world, start your own Casca centric blog if you want more meta about her to exist, or read more of what already exists. I'd say I'm doing my part as far as I'm concerned lol, but I don't like the way that phrasing implies that anyone has an obligation to focus their interest on any particular fictional character.

I'm glad you enjoy other aspects of my blog, and if you stick around after this admittedly irritable response I hope you continue enjoying them. But if you feel the need to engage with me to defend a fictional character from my criticism again in the future, I'd appreciate it if you engaged with that criticism directly and analytically, rather than speculating about my character and motives.

[moonmoonthecrabking]

No, I'm fine to hear about your true thoughts on Michie. If you wanna talk about them, that is.

alright!!

also the fun thing is i have no idea who this is so. Fascinating

i don't find their dynamic particularly sexually or romantically charged in the musical, personally. i get that sometimes bullying in media can be homoerotic, but i think that max's bullying (and murdering) of richie doesn't really have that aspect to it compared to kyle or even pete. it doesn't even seem connected to the social order, like even if his motive were different, but it doesn't seem personal based on who he is, just that he's an easy target.

when i see things about them, they have a very easy reconciliation, which i don't think is realistic for their dynamic. i think, if they were able to get together, it would be an incredibly long slow burn of healing and waiting. i understand they could have a toxic sexual relationship but i personally don't see that layer of chemistry except for about ten seconds in the song nerdy prudes must die. even then, it doesn't seem like "loathing+" (a la wicked) it just feels like "loathing". richie isn't whimpering because he's turned on he's whimpering because he's about to die.

there's also the typical fandomification (In My Limited Opinion) of "muscular top bisexual man (with a soft side) x submissive nerdy gay man" when richie, in particular, is an annoying piece of shit (and i love that for him). i think that can get erased. but also, full disclosure, i'm not good at writing richie.

i've also found, in some of the michie fics i've read to try to give them a shot and everything, Some (key word some, absolutely not everyone and almost certainly a minority) writers portray female characters in an overly negative light. this leads me to have negative associations with the ship as a whole, while, admittedly, probably inaccurate. for example, grace and richie are canonically friends (workin' boys), ruth and richie both find humour in dirty jokes and flirting etc, and pete is the one who gets uncomfortable.

so, yeah, i know i made a couple posts on it when the musical first released on youtube, but i'm not a really big fan of the ship. i also want to say that people can and should ship whatever they want, and just because i see a ship in a certain way doesn't mean i am the authority on everything. i have my reasons for disliking it, but also people hate my favourite ship because they believe both parties are too evil or irredeemable or simply dislikeable to be with the other. do whatever you want, and don't worry about what i think. but also i will say, i still don't like when the rare shipper is weird about women. please don't be weird about women gang

[cursedeclipse]

is feyre boring, or do you just hate female characters?

i saw this text post and it got me thinking how strange it is that a series made by a female author, targeted towards a female audience, and is women-centered can be so heinous and quick to write off the main female main character in favor of side male characters.

feyre is often joked about being a "mary sue" or a boring self insert when she is easily one of the most fleshed out characters in her own series. we have three books full of her thoughts, depicting her trauma, and her story and somehow she's boring and a self-insert? based on what exactly?

even her "flaws" are used against her and joked about at wits end. jokes about her illiteracy, about how people think she is bad at art, and how she is a "bitch" for "destroying the spring court."

feyre isn't allowed to have trauma responses to tamlin, because when she pushes back against him a little bit she is antagonizing him. obviously, a hundreds-years-old male can't control his powers and his emotions, he can't help but to react aggressively towards her behavior! it's feyre's fault for upsetting him (let's not talk about how that is classic abuse apologist language though...). poor tamlin found a 19-year-old girl who was abused and neglected all her life, took her from her home, lied to and manipulated her, and gaslit her when she started showing signs of c-ptsd. why couldn't feyre just be nice to her abuser?

but feyre is also too meek and a doormat throughout the acotar trilogy. it doesn't matter that she was neglected and abused her whole life and that often gives someone a low sense of self-worth, it makes her boring and she's a liar about the abuse she faced in her childhood anyway!

why do people treat the main female character like this? people love to act like female characters are never written well or fleshed out, meanwhile, they will give todd the bus driver who appears twice in a book whole headcanons, fics, and fanart that centers around him. is that male character really more interesting than the many female characters or do you just see women as dolls to place prettily in the backdrop of a man's journey?

are eris, azriel, lucien, tamlin, and tarquin really all that much more interesting and well-developed than feyre, elain, mor, and amren? am i supposed to believe you when you say that azriel is more interesting and more developed than a male character like rhys and that elain is too boring for him?

is it a coincidence that people gravitate towards fleshing out 800 male characters in every fandom and make so much content out of mlm ships, yet when there are canonical gay women it's crickets?

i don't think that shipping azris or whatever mlm ship makes you a bad person nor do i think making content on mlm ships is wrong. however,these biases don't exist in a vacuum. it's the reason why female characters will be sidelined for imagined mlm ships. she'll be pushed aside and the fandom might hc her as a lesbian or a huge bitch so she's not "in the way". they might even make up a ship with a woman that there isn't a lot of homoerotic vibes with but post things like "omg they're gfs and who hold hands and they 'yass queen' x mlm ship i really gaf about! 🥺" and that's as complex as lesbians are allowed to be in comparison. (sidenote: as a gay woman, that is not allyship towards lesbians/bi women but comes across as writing the fmc off so she's not a threat to your ship btw).

why is mor hated on, questioned, called a snake, etc. while her abuser is paraded in this fandom unquestionably? there is mor/emerie content, but it's telling that the amount pales in comparison to mlm ship content. and that happens in every fandom. there can be 100 female characters in a series and let two men exist with like 2 personality traits each and people will flock to shipping them.

it's frustrating to see how well-meaning people can rush to being male-centered more often than not. that people will have a set of very high standards for female characters, and if they're not to their specific set of interests people rush to call them boring, undeveloped, or untrustworthy. whereas a man can have .01% amount of on-page time and people just automatically assume there is more to him. an abuser isn't just an abuser but he exists in the shadow of his horrible upbringing, expectations his family had for him, pressure by society, etc. men are allowed to be layered in their flaws/actions.

a female character has to be the most prolific female character in existence to be seen in any sort of depth. and that just makes me not believe people when they say that they don't show more support to female characters because, "only men are ever written well! it's not my fault the author can't write women." that is just using misogyny as a shield.

is feyre boring? or do you just not like how differently trauma shows up in people? is elain boring? or do you just not care to dissect her in the ways you would azriel or eris? is mor boring? or do you just hate it when women are strong-willed and confident?

[ginger-snap-talkin-nonsense]

Huh! I've never watched Fight Club before but I'm sure you're correct in that it's very transgender. Can you elaborate on that? :0

It's no secret at this point that the original book was written with a lot of homoerotic subtext as the author was a gay man who got the idea for the book following being hate crimed, and as such a popular school of thought is that Tyler to an extent represents sexual repression presenting as toxic masculinity.

However, Fincher is not one to make a movie without adding his own flair and interpretations, and Fincher has this really interesting consistent thread in his work wherein all the women are just inherently leading better lives than the self destructive and/or dangerous men running the film, and when a women is self destructive or dangerous it's BECAUSE of how society treats women rather than an internal problem.

And that's where Marla Singer's role gets upped from small(er) time character to important thematic core. Marla is, much like Tyler, seen as a mirror to our protagonist. She's a hot mess with a drug problem, sure. But she's confident in herself in a way our protagonist isn't. Shes bold, she knows what issues she has, and she knows how she likes to handle them. Shes put herself together best she can and chooses to let that which does not matter truly slide.

Tyler makes it a point to have sex with her to hurt the protagonist, while also despising her with a genuine anger that he has for nothing else-even the society he claims to rage against. Then, when our protagonist realizes that he and Tyler are the same his solace is turning to Marla for help which enrages Tyler so much he attempts to kill her.

The final shot after our protagonist kills Tyler is him holding hands with Marla (who in comparison to the All Time Low main here is looking her absolute best in the film) where he says the line:

"You've met me at a very strange point in my life"

Now if Tyler originally represents a potential suppressing of homosexual feelings represented by toxic masculinity, and Marla acts very similarly to Tyler in terms of role yet acts as a positive force for getting better, what could this mean about Marla?

Why does our protagonist believe that his life is at its worst when he first meets her for the expressed crime of being a reflection of himself? Why does Tyler appear after the main can't confront his feelings towards her like she can him? Why does Tyler push so hard to keep her and the main apart? Why is our protagonist's acceptance that he likes Marla the thing that makes him see Tyler as the perversion of masculinity he is?

Something to chew on.

[nysocboy]

Gemstones Episode 3.8: Is Peter a woman? Are Kelvin and Keefe lovers? Does Jesse dye his hair?

Episode 3.7 was the worst in the series due to its chronological disaster, plot incongruity, annoying misdirections, and assertion that the guys were just good buddies.  Maybe that was intentional,  to disorient the viewers so they would not be expecting Episode 3.8 : It is intricately plotted, and gives us a huge number of queer codes, including one that most fans consider definitive.

Reunited with the Loved Ones: After their rescue, the siblings are taken to Rogers Regional Medical Center to be examined.  Gideon must have finally phoned the family, because the partners and kids burst in, coincidentally in the order they need to be in to reach their loved ones without bumping into each other.  

We cut to the siblings being interviewed by the police.  BJ and Gideon stand in front of them.  Amber is not present. Keefe waits by the door, still not included in the family; but he does get a bit where he knocks over a trash can and yells "I hate what you had to endure."   They all hate Eli, who left them to suffer and possibly be killed. 

Next, having established that May-May wasn't in on the kidnapping plot, she and Eli bond.  

Which of you is a woman?: With the marital problem plotlines nearly over, we have time for a deep-dive into the Militia. 

Peter and Chuck are driving a U-Haul full of explosives, followed by a ragtag caravan of militia men. Marshall and Dakota (Sturgill Simpson, Quinn Dunn-Baker) complain that they don't know where he's going.  

Does Peter know?  Two compounds have been destroyed.  The kidnapping scheme has been foiled. Everyone has forgotten the first scheme, which required the truckload of explosives.

They stop at Dodge's Fried Chicken, a real fast-food place on Savannah Highway in Charleston (next to a KFC, har har).  Marshall continues to grumble. Peter asserts that complaining is "like a woman," and Marshall retorts that he drives "like a woman."  They continue to call each other women until Chuck gets tired of it and tells them to focus on the new plan.  Whatever it is.

Peter re-asserts his authority: if they rebel against him, they are rebelling against God, because he is the Keeper of the Word. Uh-oh, another Messiah.We see again parallels between the Militia and Kelvin's God Squad in Season 2: both societies devoted to the masculine, suspicious of women, informed by homoerotic or homosocial desire. run by a messianic figure. The militia is the dark side of Kelvin's God Squad  We can go even farther and juxtapose Kelvin's bodybuilder fetish with the militia's fetishization of the soldier.  

Seasons 1 and 2 featured gay-subtext friendships to counterbalance the development of the Kelvin-Keefe romance.  I was surprised to not find one in Season 3, but maybe it's here, in Peter and Marshall's bickering.

Sexy Time:  With almost no sleep, almost nothing to eat, and only a bucket to poop in for 36 hours or several days (depending on the chronology), I'd be interested in dinner and bed rather than sexy time, but after two militia scenes, we cut to the two couples having sex.

First, BJ and Judy take a bath together. BJ: "The whole time you were in captivity, I would light candles and just cry."  It sounds like they were held for longer than a day.  Also, his eye, puffed out from his fight with Stephen, is almost healed. Maybe a week? 

He continues: "The best way to reset is with a really good, deep f*king."  They play a game of helicopter-penis with an incest motif.  You can sort of see BJ's dick, actually a prosthetic, in the swirling water.

Next it's Kelvin and Keefe's turn.  Keefe has changed into a sleeveless leather top with gold studs from the Jim Morrison Mr. Mojo collection.  Kelvin has showered and restored his top wave.  After keeping his body under wraps all season, he displays his backside and butt, again becoming an object of homoerotic desire.  Keefe pretends to give him a massage, but slides right past his shoulders to concentrate on his butt. 

After being invited to fondle an ex-boyfriend's bare butt, most people would assume that he wanted to get back together, but Keefe has received so many mixed signals in the past that he has to be very careful.  His questions are skillfully designed to push Kelvin to a decision: are they going to be post-breakup pals, good buddies with benefits, or lovers?

First he eliminates the post-breakup pal option by asking if Kelvin and Taryn are dating.  Immediately after asking, he has Kelvin spread his legs, feels up his inner thighs, and starts"taking liberties," as Adam Devine reveals.  The actor needed to be semi-aroused so his penis would look bigger for a cut scene with frontal nudity.  In-universe, Keefe is answering his own question.

Kelvin: "Nah. She ain't my type." I've heard gay men say "You're not my type" to reject a flirtatious woman without coming out, but why would Kelvin feel the need to be closeted with his ex-boyfriend?  This must be a structural ploy to avoid having him say "gay."  

He continues: "I hated all the forced claps and laughter and fun times.  I like doing claps and laughters with you."  I've analyzed this scene in detail, and I still can't think of an in-universe reason for bringing up Taryn's work performance. That wasn't the question, and besides, Kelvin quit his youth minister job, so he's in no position to hire Keefe back.  

But Keefe assumes that he's talking about the assistant youth pastor job, and responds in kind: "I love getting the children zazzed up and excited to learn about Jesus with you." 

Now Kelvin clarifies that he was answering the "Are you and Taryn dating" question, not "Can I have my old job back?"    "I mean, Taryn was nice and all, but she's not you." She was nice, but you can't build a romance from niceness.  You need passion. 

Keefe understands:  "She tried to replace me, but it was a failed try." They're going to be romantic partners, combining eros and phileo, trying to "build something" for the future., reguardless of its impact on Kelvin's career.  Which shouldn't be a problem.  He's not working for the church anymore.  They can move to Atlanta and march in Pride Parades.

Cut to Gideon driving Eli somewhere while they discuss how the siblings still aren't talking to him.  

Eli explains that he would have paid if he thought they were really in danger; "I knew they weren't."  Dude, Peter killed a man, tortured another, and sent his guys out to assault his own sons.  The militia was planning to kill one of them "after church."  Their lives were definitely in danger.  Besides, the church paid $500,000 to avoid a scandal.  $1,000,000 to get its pastors back seems like a bargain.

Next they discuss what Gideon is going to do with his life.  He doesn't know.  Eli notes that when he was a young man, he never would have imagined becoming a preacher, hint hint. You want the succession to skip over your children and go straight to Gideon, Pontius, and Abraham?  Gemstone Brothers Ministries.

Back at the mansion, Chuck sneaks a phone call to his brother Karl, to complain that escaping put him and his dad in a bad spot with the militia. Oh, was not wanting to be murdered inconsiderate?  Terribly sorry, Bro.  He insists that he wouldn't really have killed his cousins. Everybody's got excuses.

I can be true to myself:  The siblings meet for lunch at Jason's Steak House, and discuss how the kidnapping ordeal has changed them.

 Judy: "Things are better than before the kidnapping." You and BJ having a second honeymoon?  

Kelvin: "Makes everything snap into focus, that's for sure." You and Keefe having a second honeymoon?  

Jesse: "I can be more honest, true to myself." He's stopped dying his sideburns, letting the natural gray appear.

Jesse asks them to return to their jobs at the church, and they agree. They don't mention Keefe returning as assistant youth minister, but it's implied: everyone has apparently forgotten about the Smut Busters scandal. Then they hold hands.  In this season, holding hands has been awkward and uncomfortable for the siblings, so this is an important milestone in their relationship.  

Not much left in the episode, but what's left includes most important scene in the series. 

Military fetish photos, Kelvin's butt, and BJ's dick on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

[delistravaganza]

btw- I have discovered on ao3 a serie of genderswapp (it’s that the term?) fanfiction in which all the characters are women (I mean, female vampire) and lesbians, and it’s very good? Like the author play a lot with what would have changed in the iwtv character’s lives if they would had been women and what would have remained the same. There are some characters I was skeptic they could have been genderswapped with the story still making sense but all the characters are fleshed out and complex, with both differences and similarities to their canon counterpart. there are messy relationship there is lesbian sex there are lots of love-hate relationship. sorry for the random ask I just remembered our talk about lesbian media some weeks ago and wanted to share with someone my enthusiasm for having discovered this fanfiction ahahaha.

I'm not reading much fanfiction right now but your series sounds very interesting 😄

I did go through my vampire phase very early though. One of the very first things I tried to write, at 13, was some IWTV-esque piece of shit (of about 70,000 words, mind you). The main romance was of course between the teenage girl and the broody male vampire, but it was full of homoerotic undertones. The girl (supposedly the vampire's girlfriend) was bitten by the vampire's sister, who had a complicated love-hate relationship with her, and then she was also put under a spell by the vampire's (female) ex-lover in what I believe were the most erotic scenes of the "novel". I remember that for some reason the girl HAD TO be half naked when she was uhhh possessed by a demonic entity who took control of her body. Yeah, right.

The funny thing is that this all still sounds great to my older self 🤣 It would've probably been better if it hadn't been written by a 13 year old girl.

I also remember I had a friend who was very excited about the idea of my "vampire novel", which in turn gave me a lot of energy to write it. Then I read one of these scenes to her and she became dead silent. She muttered "I don't like it very much", and I was very hurt, because I didn't understand what was wrong - didn't she love what I had told her about the novel so far? How come she didn't she like my writing?

Of course, what had happened was that the "novel" was exuding big lesbian energy despite the supposedly straight romance, and for the very first time she saw that I liked stuff that she wasn't into, and of course none of us had a clue what it meant, and we were uncomfortable and our friendship suffered because of this.

Then I met this other girl who liked my vampire stories and wanted me to read them to her and wanted to be as close as possible to me when I did that, and I felt uncomfortable with this closeness, and then I slowly started to realize that she might be more interested in me than in my storytelling, and I didn't know how to tell her that I only wanted to share the stories.

And I left my pre-teens with even more stories of pre-lesbian drama.

This may be all part of the reason why I still love novels and fanfiction where these things happen but the people involved have no clue - they just experience feelings that aren't put in a box, and they don't even know what's what yet. I love the out and proud characters, but this-is-gay-but-I-wouldn't-even-consider-it was my experience.

[victimsofyaoipoll]

Round 3

Propaganda Under Cut

Kairi

kairi is the third protagonist of the kingdom hearts series and the third member of the destiny trio, alongside fan favorites sora and riku. sora/riku shippers HATE kairi, and will go out of their way to discount her at every turn. the hate for her ranges from typical "she's a boring bitch" to fans of soriku making five-hour long video essays reassuring their fellow shippers that the big bad kairi won't show up in the next installment – to quote one video, "she's in a box. she's on the shelf. four walls, no door." kairi is the greatest bogeyman the soriku fandom has ever known, to the point where most of said video essays and fanon meta posts focus not on why sora and riku should get together, but rather on why they don't like kairi.

Literally has a 100+ page Google doc fan theory writing her out of the narrative and putting all of her (few) canonical accomplishments onto half of the popular m/m ship (soriku). Don't even get me started on how her memory was completely written out of the canon plot of re:coded. KH is a nightmare to explain so dude trust me she is THE victim of yaoi

She is so fundamental to the plot and themes and narratives of game and yet it is near impossible to find anything about her thats not ship bashing pre-mlm with the other two characters. I dont even care if she ends up with one of the main characters i just want fans to see her as a cool character to love or like, anything other than “annoying comphet girl.” You can write your mlm but pleaae stop inventing comphet where it doesnt exist. She does not even get to spend time with sora ever?? Why does everyone see her as a threat and a thing to destroy?? Let her have friends so help me

Misa Amane

she gets treated in-canon the way fandoms treat female characters that Threaten an m/m ship. it's like, "oh why don't you go sit in the corner and be pretty, misa, while the Men have intelligent conversation and pretend they aren't ten seconds from fucking each other, doesn't that sound nice?" it's infuriating. and MAYBE it's better now but i remember her getting treated the same way in fanfiction too, like we all need to do just as badly by our female secondary characters as fucking tsugumi ohba, but with the added insult of making her be alternately oblivious of the relationship between light and L or actively trying to sabotage it—incompetently, of course, because god forbid misa be allowed dignity or moments of cleverness.

she's one of the first characters I think of when I consider old school fandom misogyny. The annoying bitch and clingy crazy gf allegations were AFTER HER ASS. She's also a lot more intelligent than people gave her credit for, but most seem inclined to take the Very Biased word of our unreliable, narcissistic narrator and his homoerotic arch nemesis and claim that just because she's bubbly and into romance that she's also a complete moron. Which is blatantly untrue. Everyone was afraid of Misa girlbossing too hard. Killing people and devoting yourself to the deranged twink of your dreams even though you know he'll never love you back??? Having a hardcore goth aesthetic and being so Hot even literal Death Gods are into you?? God forbid women do ANYTHING!

Not only is she the victim of yaoi culture, she is the victim of early 2000s misogyny by an author that wanted to introduce a girl character because he knew his male rivals were getting too homoerotic. She is a goth bimbo icon who portrays what I think is one of the few callouts for stan culture and what parasocial relationships can do to both the stan and the idol. The fact that she is a toxic fan of Kira and also hot, funny, sociable is tragic in its own way, which I think the author did try to touch on but was too misogynistic too really get through. Of course, she was reduced to villain status by the fandom and anime alike because she got in the way of the supposed romance in their psychological horror anime.

[enbywanderlust]

✨book recommendations from a theminine lesbian with severe anxiety and no social life✨

The 2000s Made Me Gay: Essays on Pop Culture by Grace Perry. I know the word "essay" is off putting but this book is so hilarious and easy to read. Perry talks about major tv shows, music, and films from the aughts and how they affected her as a closeted lesbian and how each made it more easier or difficult to come out and live her life the way she wants. Her writing is so good and she's a master at weaving witty jokes into serious topics. In summery, if you're queer (especially if you're still a teenager) you should read this book! it's given me a lot of hope.

Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller. are you a cottagecore gay? this book is for you! don't worry, you don't have to have ANY prior knowledge of greek mythology, Miller explains everything you need to know as each character is introduced, and she even includes a handy index of all the characters mentioned and their backstories. it's a well written gay romance novel but you'll probably cry at least once fyi.

The Secret History by Donna Tartt. do you fantasize about killing rich people and love homoerotic undertones? this book is for you! This book is a satire on wealthy college students who study ancient greek and have a dionysian bacchanal where they accidentally kill someone. if you like dark academia and watching characters make bad decisions, you'll love this! it is kinda long tho (little over 500 pages) and goes off completely the rails insane in the last 100 pages.

Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman. This book is light and chaotically hilarious. It's about an angel and a demon who team up to stop the apocalypse because they like champagne and rock music too much to let the earth melt. If you have religious trauma, this book is like an anxiety blanket, perfect way to ease the pain and laugh about the apocalypse.

The Lazarus Project by Aleksandar Hemon. If you're interested in history, specifically eastern european history, you'll like this book. The story goes back and forth from 1908, when a russian jewish man named Lazarus was shot by police for "looking anarchist", and 2008, when a man from Bosnia living in the U.S. takes his friend on a journey from Kiev to Sarajevo, tracking down Lazarus's life up until his untimely death in Chicago, 1908. (If you do read this one, message me about it because I got to meet the author a few weeks ago and he's as chaotic as he sounds)

The Life of a Simple Man by Émile Guillaumin. If you like history and cottagecore, you might like this book. it's about the life of a french peasant in the 1800s, but people who don't like reading about mundane things will hate this book. It's a french cottagecore gold mine tho.

The Help by Kathryn Stockett. This the book that the award winning film The Help was based off of. It's about the treatment of people of color, specifically women of color, in Jackson, Mississippi, in the 1960s.

Café Europa: Life After Communism by Slavenka Drakulić. This book is a deep dive into Drakulić's experiences living in Yugoslavia and Bulgaria and then immigrating and facing prejudice in Western society. She is a very good writer, and you can feel her passion, heartbreak, and anger on the page, while learning about what life was like before and after communism in eastern europe.

These are just a few from my personal bookshelf, feel free to recommend more books to me and others under this post! I'm always looking for new things to add to my tbr!

hope you have a nice rest of your day ✨

[pub-lius]

Yo I haven't read Chernow's bios for a while and they were really my first introduction into the AmRev and shit but anygay- Could you give me a quick list of some of the reasons he's shitty at this? I know he is but it's been years and yeah

I am so. glad. you. asked. I have been compiling a mental list of his bs for the past year. (I'm only going to speak on Alexander Hamilton because it's the only one I've read so far).

Now, let me say a few nice things about the bastard before I talk about why I hate him. He goes really in depth, and I appreciate at least someone making the effort. He's clearly put a lot into his writing, and as a writer, I can appreciate that. He's also done a lot of research, and you can't not respect that. He's also very eloquent and clearly a very intelligent person. I don't think he shouldn't have written history books, since they are very influential books that have a lot of information, but they're still shit <3 (just my educated opinion)

Despite all the research he clearly does, he really wants you to believe whatever story he decides is the most entertaining. A lot of the time he will over exaggerate certain aspects, burying the facts of the matter in his ideal version of the events. Most authors prioritize the facts, and then give what they think might be the most accurate. Chernow still proposes alternative explanations, but in such small degrees that you've forgotten them by the end of the paragraph.

Speaking of paragraphs, he has too many. So many of them are repeating the same information, and not adding anything substantial. I know I'm not the best with brevity myself, but holy shit bro, shut up. His book could be easily cut in half if he just. stopped. talking. about. THE SAME THINGS

Also, for a man with such definite claims, he certainly cites a lot of other secondary sources. He does cite a lot of primary sources too, but there are. so many secondary sources in his notes and bibliography. I don't have as much of a problem with this, it just makes it hard to find definite evidence of the stories he tells.

We also need to talk about his glorification, of Hamilton and Washington specifically, more so Washington. He acknowledges some things Hamilton did wrong (at least at the point where I am in the book, which at the beginning of the 1790s, before a lot of Hamilton's controversy), but he largely glosses over them. He also exaggerates Hamilton's abolitionist beliefs. With Washington, he glorifies him a lot more. Now, Washington is very easy to glorify, since you can justify most things with "he was trying his best", but he still wasn't perfect, or even close. He was kind of a dickbag sometimes.

Also he has a weird obsession with giving Hamilton and Burr a lovers to enemies storyline, it's really annoying. Every five seconds he's like "here's what's CRAZY guys... while hamilton was having explosive diarrhea... burr was.... TAKING A PISS!!!!! ISNT THAT CRAZY THAT THEY WOULD BOTH USE A CHAMBERPOT AT THE SAME TIME AND THEN DUEL EACH OTHER??????" Which kind of makes it seem like Burr and Hamilton were more connected throughout their entire lives, when uh, they weren't. Like at all. And it makes it seem like Burr betrayed Hamilton, which explains why the musical makes him look like some kind of Judas.

Also I hate the way he talks about the women in Hamilton's life. Especially Eliza and Angelica. He makes it seem like they only existed to further Hamilton's empathetic, but horny character that he's trying to portray. The way he talks about them makes it seem like they weren't their own people. (i feel like i don't even need to mention how he dedicated half a chapter to Hamilton and Angelica's alleged emotional affair, but only a page to his relationship with John Laurens, who maintained, at the very least, a homoerotic "friendship" for like six years. whoops i did it anyway).

Now, part of me wants to go chapter-by-chapter calling out his bullshit, but these pretty much sum up the entire book (or at least the half I've managed to struggle through) because it is. SO. REPETITIVE. It's just the same things, but slowly moving through the timeline at a snails pace. I highly dislike Chernow's writing, and I don't recommend it if you already have a good understanding of whatever his book is about, but if you want to learn a lot of information from one source, go for it!! You'll learn a lot of really interesting things, just keep in mind that his writing isn't the most accurate, and to always fact check historical facts even if they're not Chernow. It's very important to try to be as accurate as possible when dealing with real people (unless ofc you're not portraying it as truth). Question everything, it's how you learn!!

I hope this helps, and thanks for the ask, bestie!!!

[lorata]

Okay, first off, I'd like to say again that I love your writing and AU stories! Your characters are so well-written and I'm very attached to all of them.

This is a probably a weird question, but I've recently been so fascinated by what makes people have such varied taste in romantic partners and it made me wonder what some of your OCs "types" (physical, mental, whatever) are?

I know you made a post about Callista's type in the past, and also once told me in a comment that she likes short people (I gotta say, every time I feel stumpy and small, I just remember that and honestly? Instant confidence boost). So that got me wondering if you had any ideas about some of the others?

oh that is a fascinating one!

Petra: justin bieber i love arm dot tweet, she can't help it she's a jock with a specific weakness and that's girls who could murder her. she spent her formative years locked in extremely homoerotic close-quarters combat with a bunch of other girls and. well. it stuck. terminally into hate-sex but gets upset if it goes wrong. she also develops an authority kink thanks to all the trainers being ex-Centre and so hot, older women who tell her what to do is an embarrassing not-so-secret thing she desperately wishes people didn't know about her. contrary to speculation, Petra is very toppy but not all the time, she's into partners who like to switch it up.

Claudius: oh he has a type but it's not physical. the thing with Claudius is he doesn't go for people, he attracts them, and then eventually catches up after a very long time of being baffled. if I had to quantify it I'd say the men are pretty chill with a hidden side that few people get to see (Dash, Alec in EXTREMELY NICHE AUs) and the women (Selene & Eibhlin) are 100% unhinged.

Enobaria: no

Devon: don't ask him this question you will be here for HOURS. Enobaria has suffered through this because she is a good friend, Devon, you better remember this Devon, I am chewing through your shirt now Devon, Devon has all these theories about sexuality and why it is or isn't useless as a category (he loves Misha, he absolutely can't have sex with her -- they tried once, it was so bad -- but does that matter? no!) and what attraction means or why, where is the soul housed in a person, and Enobaria is like, I. am trying. to get you. laid. what. do you. want. me. to. look. for. tonight. and Devon goes what? oh. I like 'em thick.

Misha: girl. next question*

*though hilariously she is not into hate-sex, the one thing she's NOT into is if she thinks you're like ... a douche. like does she NEED a personality? nope, Misha would happily go to bed with a brick wall, but if you neg her? lol are we fourteen, pass

Lyme: I think we all know, her type is a meme at this point, she likes pretty, subby men who want to be pegged. that's it that's the tweet. she likes to go to the gym and tell men they're doing it wrong and help them~ with their technique, then take them home. someone once points out Devon is her type if he were into women and it's the worst day of her life because it's. I mean. not wrong

Emory: not for her thank you :) but all of you have fun

Brutus: Brutus likes pretty, femme women who are on the subby side (but also like ... push him around? but in the kind of way that means he's in charge later, but also yes wrap him around her finger, look it MAKES SENSE). all you really need to know is that Lyme and Brutus are both each other's anti-type

Nero: oh lord. he doesn't have one anymore, Nero and sex are like Michael Phelps and food, he just does it because he has to. but if he did, tiny women who take charge are his kryptonite. his rare dude exception is unquantifiable and strongly based on vibes.

Callista: this is who the Harkness Test was designed for. first contact WHEN she is absolutely down to f the aliens. HOWEVER I WILL SAY Callista is like ..... 100% morosexual. sapiosexuals do not apply. if you try to talk to her about cryptocurrency or deconstructionism she will remember an urgent vet appointment and leave you. on the other hand if you tell her you like sporks and you wonder why there's no forfe or spife she will have you on the ground before you even finish talking. and yes, SHORT KINGS KNOW YOUR WORTH, she is statuesque and enjoys anyone who improves her value

Odin: I feel like Misha and Odin would be oddly handshake meme about this if they ever talked about it, which they would not, because that's vulgar, but honestly, women

Hera: the human body is very beautiful, in an athletic way, but at the same time, very gross

Adessa: listen, all you need to know is Adessa watched this scrawny, half-starved tribute electrocute half a dozen teenagers with a box of scaps and thought that one, I want that one, and never looked back

(after this I don't know sorry)

Ronan: Ronan's tragic, star-crossed, one-sided never-were romances were with female mentors from other districts so I'm not saying it's a thing but it's, I mean, it could be

[peachscribe]

peach’s summer book list

i had a lot of fun compiling the list of books i read during the 20-21 winter, so i decided i would do a summer one as well! i still have a lot of books i own but haven’t read, so im definitely not lacking in material

if you didn’t see my winter list, how my book list works is basically like this: i read a book that i own but have not previously read, write a short summary immediately after finishing the book, write down my thoughts on the book, and then provide a rating for the book. i also might include background info on why i read this particular book/feelings about the author, but that depends on the book. that’s how each entry works

without further ado, let’s get started!

1. Grasshopper Jungle by Andrew Smith

okay so i absolutely adore another book by andrew smith (written after grasshopper jungle) called the alex crow. it’s one of my favorite books of all time, so naturally i wanted to see if grasshopper jungle would make me feel similarly. just like the alex crow, grasshopper jungle’s plot is. so fucking weird. it stars austin szerba, a teenage polish kid who lives in ealing, iowa, and is often sexually confused regarding his girlfriend shann and his best friend robby. and in ealing, iowa, austin and robby accidentally and unknowingly unleash an unstoppable army of huge six-foot-tall praying mantis bugs that only want to do two things: fuck and eat. and i just have to say: andrew smith’s got an absolutely dynamo writing style. alex crow is similar, where it’s a book about kind of everything all at once, framed in a moment centering around teenage boys. it’s fantastic, and it’s more than a little gross, and i love it. this book made me feel so many things, and i thought austin was such an amazing narrator and main character to identify with. this book has it all: shitty teenage boy humor, fucked up science experiments, and poetic imagery that will make you want to cry. and explicit lgbt characters.

412/10 andrew smith what do you put in your water i just want to know

2. Burn by Patrick Ness

patrick ness has written a plethora of some of my favorite books (such as a monster calls, the chaos walking trilogy, and the rest of us just live here) so when i saw this one in the store i knew it would be a great one. burn is an alternate history fantasy that takes place in 1957 frome, washington, during the height of the cold war, and it begins with a girl named sarah and her father hiring a dragon to help out on their farm. but there’s not just dragons, farm living, and cold war tensions; there’s also a really shitty small town cop, a cult of dragon worshippers and their deadly teenage assassin, a pair of fbi agents, and a prophecy that sarah’s newly hired dragon claims she’s a part of. i think eoin colfer’s highfire was on my winter list, which also featured a story that included dragons and shitty cops, so when i first began burn i thought it was funny to have two books that had both things. you know, if you had a nickel etc etc. but that’s really where the similarities end because burn is entirely it’s own monster (dragon). burn is entirely invested in its world, and its fascinating. not only that, i had no clue where the book would take me next. there were so many surprises and amazing twists that honestly just blew me away. this book also includes beautifully written complicated discussions on family, race, and love - it features interracial and queer romances as the two most prominent romance plots which was such a nice surprise from a book i wasn’t expecting to have that kind of representation. this book is witty, fast-paced, and a very heartening read - i absolutely adored it.

9/10 dragons and becoming motivated by the power of love and friendship are so fucking cool

3. As Meat Loves Salt by Maria McCann

i hate this book! as meat loves salt is a historical fiction novel which takes place in seventeenth century england, which is going through a grisly civil war. the protagonist, jacob cullen, is a servant for a wealthy household and is engaged to another servant in the house. but due to certain events that are almost entirely jacob’s fault, he flees the house and is separated from his wife. from there, he joins the royal army and meets a kind soldier, ferris, and the two become fast friends. jacob and ferris’s relationship begins to bridge past friendly, and jacob struggles with his homoerotic feelings as well as the growing obsession and violence inside him. also, they try to start a colony. listen, i don’t know how to describe the book because so much happens, but it basically just follows jacob and all the terrible decisions he makes because he is, truly, a terrible person. ferris is kind and good, and jacob is scum of the earth. he sucks so bad. the entire time i was reading this book (which took absolutely so long), all i wanted was for jacob to just get his ass handed to him. i wanted to see him suffer. and it’s not like i just personally don’t like him - i believe the book purposefully depicts him as unsympathetic even though he is the narrator. i did enjoy the very in depth and accurate portrayal of what life would’ve been like in seventeenth century england, and i think it was interesting to read a character that is just the absolute worst person you’ve ever encountered and see him try and justify his actions, so if you enjoy that kind of thorough writing, then this book would be perfect for you. however, i did not see that bitch ass motherfucker jacob cullen suffer enough. i’d kill him with my bare hands.

2/10 diversity win! the worst man on earth is mlm!

4. This Savage Song by Victoria Schwab

i know ive had a friend tell me how great one of schwab’s other book series is, but truthfully i bought this book because the cover is sick as hell and it was on a table in the store that advertised for buy two get one free, i think. something like that. anyway, this savage song takes place in a future in which monsters, for whatever reason, suddenly became real and out for blood in a mysterious event nicknamed the phenomenon. august flynn is one of these monsters, but he takes no pride in that fact and only wants to feel human. kate harker is the daughter of a ruthless man and is trying her hardest to be ruthless, too, but deep down she knows it’s just an act. their city, verity, stands divided, and kate and august stand on either side - but when august is sent on a mission to befriend kate in the hopes of stopping an all out war, the lines begin to blur. this book rules. august and kate are such interesting and dynamic characters, and the narrative is familiar while still being capable of twisting the story around and taking the feet out from under you in really compelling ways. this savage song is part of the monsters of verity duology, and i can’t wait to dive into how the story continues and finishes.

11/10 sometimes you can judge a book by it’s cover

4a. Our Dark Duet by Victorian Schwab

this is the sequel and finale for this savage song and i’d figure i’d update everyone: fantastic ending, beautiful, showstopping, painful.

12/10 loved it and will definitely be keeping an eye out for schwab’s other books

5. White is for Witching by Helen Oyeyemi

oh boy. okay. white is for witching is about a house, and it is about the women who have lived inside of it. when her mother dies abroad, miranda silver begins to act strangely, and there’s nothing her father or her twin brother seem to be able to do about it. she develops an eating disorder and begins to hear voices in the silver family house, converted to a bed and breakfast by miranda’s dad; and she begins to lose herself in the house and the persistent presence of her family legacy. white is for witching switches perspective dizzingly and disorientingly between miranda, her twin eliot, miranda’s friend from school named ore, and the house itself. this story is a horror story as much as it as a tragedy as much as it is a romance as much as it is a bunch of other things. oyeyemi brings race, sexuality, nationality, and family into this story and forces you not to look away. this book is poetry.

(like i mentioned briefly, this book heavily deals with topics of race and closely follows miranda’s eating disorder. read responsibly, and take care of yourselves)

15/10 this book consumed me and i think i’ll have to read it another 10 more times to feel it properly

6. These Violent Delights by Chloe Gong

okay. okay. strap in for a ride. these violent delights is a romeo and juliet style story, taking place in glittering 1920’s shanghai. the city stands divided - not only between the foreign powers encroaching on chinese land, but also between the scarlet gang and the white flowers, who are at the height of a generations-long blood feud. juliette cai, heir to the scarlets, has recently returned from four years abroad and is determined to prove herself ruthless enough to lead. roma montagov, heir to the white flowers, is standing strenuously on his place as next in line due to a slip up four years prior and is desperate to keep hold of his title. and in the midst of juliette and roma’s burning history with each other threatening to combust, an unnatural monster lurks in the waters of shanghai, loosing a madness on scarlets and white flowers alike. this book has it all - scorned ex lovers, political intrigue, deadly monsters, and all set on a glamorous backdrop of the roaring twenties. i absolutely was enraptured by this book and the way it plays around the story of romeo and juliet so well that it easily became it’s own monster, but with the punches and embraces of something classically shakespearan. gong does just an absolutely breathtaking job of fitting this fantastical story amid the larger world of shanghai and the real life historical events that had shaken the city to its core. completely immersive and outstandingly heart racing.

17/10 i was chewing on my fingernails for the last thirty pages and will continue to do so until the sequel is released (our violent ends, 16 nov 21)

7. The Antiques by Kris D’Agostino

you ever heard of the american dysfunctional family story? this is most definitely that. at the same time george westfall’s cancer takes a turn for the worse, a hurricane hits the east coast, and suddenly all at once the issues of his health, the hurricane, and all three of his children’s achingly dysfunctional adult lives are crashing into each other. reunited by george’s death, the westfall siblings have to face their grief, each other, and the problems in their own lives they attempted to put on hold while planning their father’s memorial. this is a nice story about grief and loss and love and somehow finding the humor amidst it all.

(this book does include a depiction of an autistic child who does experience several pretty bad meltdowns due to ignorant people around him not understanding how to cater to his needs. im not an authority on what depictions are or are not harmful, but i do believe this depiction is ultimately loving and well-intended.)

7/10 it made me laugh and cry and was generally one of those books that somehow hit you close to home

8. Fierce Fairytales by Nikita Gill

fierce fairytales is a poetry anthology that reimagines classic fairytales from a modern, feminist viewpoint, acknowledging that the line between hero and villain, monster and damsel, are not as clear cut as the classics try to make you believe. this book also includes illustrations done by the author herself, which i think is really cool. my personal favorite story reimagining was the story of peter pan and captain hook, called ‘boy lost’ which looked at how peter and hook’s relationship began and rotted. all in all, i think this collection of stories had a lot of important things to say and said them in frank, easy to understand poetry and prose.

7/10 beautiful message and pretty prose, but at times a little cliche

and that’s all from the summer! my fall semester starts tomorrow, and overall i feel very good about all the reading i did this summer. i even read four other books not on this list for work! so i definitely feel like i made the most out of my time, and im really glad i was able to read so many stories that made me feel a variety of different things

thanks so much for reading this list, and let me know if you read or have read any of these books and tell me what you think of them!

happy reading<3