#honestly another idea could be returning tri-color to it's launch state but I know a lot of people didnt like that

[kookie-doughs]

Y/N L/N AND THE HALFBLOODS

Percy Jackson X Reader

-Y/N L/N met Percy Jackson and everything was now ruined.

CHAPTER 20: Front Row Seat

Hades was nice. Really nice. I had no idea why they kicked him off Olympus. I think he deserves the world. It was adorable since the three.. four I should correct, of us sat on the floor.

During my short time here, he had reassured me that Me and Mrs. Jackson will not die. He was nice enough to take care of D/N as well. He had even given him Cerberus's old collar. I think he's attached, he couldn't really keep Cerberus here after all.

"Why was Mrs. Rudolph set on me since I was a kid?" I finally asked.

"When you were born... I knew... something was off with you."

"You're the god of the dead not life." I retorted meaner than I thought.

"I couldn't see your life expectancy. I could see you living forever." He stated. "I can sense when one is about to die and when they will. But looking at you I couldn't see anything."

"Woah, I wonder if I'm never going to die. Does it have anything to do with my parent?"

"No." Mrs. Jackson interjected. "That has nothing to do with who your parent is. Since all gods and goddesses has more than one child and none of them are like you. Lord Hades, could we please check on Percy?" She looked at Hades hopeful.

"It's kinda cool how you two are kinda getting along."

"I had sent furies to watch over him... More to jump him but that isn't the point." He cleared his throat. "And the reason why I let her walk is she has information on you."

"Wait she knows? About what? Can you tell me what you know?"

"During the incident in Montauk, your parents and I had a talk. You should get answers from them instead."

"What made you think the big guy would let them go?" I said bitterly.

"I wasn't expecting them to be this low."

"I blame Percy's dad... No offence."

"He deserves to be called a jerk." Mrs. Jackson huffed. "He betrayed you."

Hades got up and D/N followed him, not long after something was projected in front of us.

It was Percy, Annabeth and Grover against Ares.

"Ares gave the bag to us." I told Hades, "He probably has your helm too. Honestly he's my second hated god."

"Second to Poseidon I'll take it." Hades said settling on his throne again. With a flick of his hand two chair appeared. "You wish to watch don't you?"

"Thank you my lord." Mrs. Jackson was relieved.

"Your son better prove his innocence."

Percy turned back to Ares. "Are you going to fight me now?" he asked. "Or are you going to hide behind another pet?"

"Why is he challenging him???" Mrs. Jackson was obviously worried.

"He's a fool."

Ares's face was purple with rage. "Watch it, kid. I could turn you into—" "A cockroach," Percy retorted. "Or a tapeworm. Yeah, I'm sure. That'd save you from getting your godly hide whipped, wouldn't it?"

"I like how we get front row seat on this one." I laughed. Flames danced along the top of Ares glasses. "Oh, man, you are really asking to be smashed into a grease spot." "If I lose, turn me into anything you want. Take the bolt. If I win, the helm and the bolt are mine and you have to go away." Ares sneered. He swung the baseball bat off his shoulder. "How would you like to get smashed: classic or modern?" Percy showed him his sword. "That's cool, dead boy," he said. "Classic it is." The baseball bat changed into a huge, two-handed sword. The hilt was a large silver skull with a ruby in its mouth. "Percy," Annabeth said. "Don't do this. He's a god." "He's a coward," He told her. She swallowed. "...Percy." She took off her necklace, with her five years' worth of camp beads and the ring from her father, and gave it to Percy. "Reconciliation," she said. "Athena and Poseidon together." He gave a smile. "Thanks." "And take this," Grover said. He handed him a flattened tin can that he'd probably been saving in his pocket for a thousand miles. "The satyrs stand behind you." "Grover... I don't know what to say." He patted him on the shoulder. Percy stuffed the tin can in my back pocket.

"Y/N..." Annabeth started. Pulling out from her back was Aphrodite's scarf. Percy looked at it and gripped onto in.

"We'll get her back." he squeaked and took the scarf from her to stuff it in his pocket as well. "You all done saying good-bye?" Ares came toward me, his black leather duster trailing behind him, his sword glinting like fire in the sunrise. "I've been fighting for eternity, kid. My strength is unlimited and I cannot die. What have you got?"

"Hades, can't you like... do something? I really--"

"No. It's his fight. I will not intervene." "But Percy isn't the wrong!!"

"That doesn't matter."

The water pushed Percy into the air and he catapulted over Ares, slashing as he came down. But Ares was just as quick. He twisted, and the strike that should've caught him directly in the spine was deflected off the end of his sword hilt.

He grinned. "Not bad, not bad." He slashed again and Percy was forced to jump onto dry land. He tried to sidestep, to get back to the water, but Ares outmaneuvered him, pressing so hard Percy had to put all his concentration on blocking his attacks.

Mrs. Jackson took my hand.

"He's strong. He'll win this." "Percy!" Annabeth yelled. "Cops!" "Please, at least save him from the cops!!" I said.

"The mist is powerful child. But if you wish, I could clear his name. Both of yours."

"Yes please..." I saw red lights flashing on the shoreline boulevard. Car doors were slamming. "There, officer!" somebody yelled. "See?" A gruff cop voice: "Looks like that one kid on TV... what the heck..." "That guy's armed," another cop said. "Call for backup." Percy rolled to one side as Ares's blade slashed the sand. Percy ran for his sword, scooped it up, and launched a swipe at Ares's face, only to find his blade deflected again. Ares seemed to know exactly what he was going to do the moment before he did it. Percy stepped back toward the surf, forcing him to follow. "Admit it, kid," Ares said. "You got no hope. I'm just toying with you." I saw a second cop car pulling up, siren wailing. Spectators, people who had been wandering the streets because of the earthquake, were starting to gather. Among the crowd, I thought I saw a few who were walking with the strange, trotting gait of disguised satyrs. There were shimmering forms of spirits, too, as if the dead had risen from Hades to watch the battle.

"You sent more that the furies." I frowned at Hades.

"The three had survived all three furies. I obviously needed more than one."

"Rude." More sirens. Percy stepped farther into the water, but Ares was fast. The tip of his blade ripped his sleeve and grazed Percy's forearm. A police voice on a megaphone said, "Drop the guns.' Set them on the ground. Now!" Ares turned to glare at our spectators. There were five police cars now, and a line of officers crouching behind them, pistols trained on them. "This is a private matter!" Ares bellowed. "Be gone.'" He swept his hand, and a wall of red flame rolled across the patrol cars. The police barely had time to dive for cover before their vehicles exploded. The crowd behind them scattered, screaming. Ares roared with laughter. "Now, little hero. Let's add you to the barbecue."

"Stop the fire. Don't let the civilians get hurt!" I told him.

"Don't worry. No one was hurt." Hades said waving me off. Ares slashed. Percy deflected his blade. He got close enough to strike, but his blow was knocked aside. The waves were hitting Percy in the back now. Ares was up to his thighs, wading in after Percy. Ares came toward, grinning confidently. Percy lowered his blade, as if he were too exhausted to go on. Ares raised his sword.

A whimper came from Mrs. Jackson as she buried her face on her palm.

Percy jumped, rocketing straight over Ares was a wave which he rode.

A six-foot wall of water smashed him full in the face, leaving him cursing and sputtering with a mouth full of seaweed. Percy landed behind him with a splash and feinted toward his head, as he'd done before. Ares turned in time to raise his sword, but this time he was disoriented, he didn't anticipate the trick. Percy changed direction, lunged to the side, and stabbed Riptide straight down into the water, sending the point through the god's heel. The roar that followed made Hades's earthquake look like a minor event. The very sea was blasted back from Ares, leaving a wet circle of sand fifty feet wide. Ichor, the golden blood of the gods, flowed from a gash in the war god's boot. The expression on his face was beyond hatred. It was pain, shock, complete disbelief that he'd been wounded. He limped toward Percy, muttering ancient Greek curses. Something stopped him. It was as if a cloud covered the sun, but worse. Light faded. Sound and color drained away. A cold, heavy presence passed over the beach, slowing time, dropping the temperature to freezing, and making me feel like life was hopeless, fighting was useless. I had no idea how I felt all that despite my location. The darkness lifted. Ares looked stunned. Police cars were burning behind them. The crowd of spectators had fled. Annabeth and Grover stood on the beach, in shock, watching the water flood back around Ares's feet, his glowing golden ichor dissipating in the tide. Ares lowered his sword. "You have made an enemy, godling," he told me. "You have sealed your fate. Every time you raise your blade in battle, every time you hope for success, you will feel my curse. Beware, Perseus Jackson. Beware." His body began to glow. '''Percy!" Annabeth shouted. "Don't watch!"

Hades stood up and turned to me.

"He's innocence is proven. You two are free." I looked back. Ares was gone. The tide rolled out to reveal Hades's bronze helm of darkness. Percy picked it up and walked toward the others.

"As promised, you two shall be returned."

"I want to go to Percy." I said.

"You can meet him at the tower. Sally Jackson and I will have a talk then we can send you back."

"A-Are you keeping D/N?" I asked.

He looked at me then D/N. "We'll find that out when we had sent you home."

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[rexisnotyourwriter]

by @rexalexander and @postcardsanddaydreaming

After the Atlanta child murders, the Behavioral Science Unit is as busy as ever. With a new team member by their side, they take on what feels like a growing number of active serial killers as well as continue their interviews of already incarcerated subjects. Bill tries to track down Nancy and Brian with the hopes of repairing his marriage, while Wendy tries to take on a more active role in their research with an eager budding protégé at her side.

Read on AO3

*If you enjoy this, please like/reblog on tumblr and/or leave kudos/comments on AO3. Your feedback helps keep fic writers writing.*

Notes: As always, thanks to my beta fish @hardythehermitcrab​

Chapter 2: Feeling Like a Loner

The bell rang. The class full of children emptied in a flurry of squeals. The teacher breathed a sigh of relief, but stopped when she noticed she wasn’t alone. A pair of mousy braids sat by the window watching her peers spill out into the playground like ants under a log. They scattered, dispersing themselves amongst the jungle gym, the hopscotch marked concrete, and the small patch of grass they called a field.

The teacher softly called her name.

They’d had this conversation before, usually ending with her forfeiting her smoke break to stay in the classroom.

The girl didn’t turn around.

“You have to go outside today,” she added. “It’s a beautiful day. And look at those clouds. I think that one looks like a cow.”

The girl didn’t move.

“Sweetie.” The teacher put a hand on her shoulder. The girl finally turned to face her. “Why don’t you go outside, hmm?”

��Why?”

“Why? Because it’s fun. Look. Look at all the fun they’re having.”

The girl looked back out the window and contemplated.

“That doesn’t look fun to me,” she concluded, matter-of-factly.

“You need to go outside today.”

“Why?”

“Because teachers need a break, too, and I can’t supervise you in here,” she responded bluntly.

“Oh,” the girl replied. “Okay.”

She got up from her seat and grabbed her neatly folded cardigan from the cubby.

Once outside, she found a good vantage point - a mostly flat rock at the edge of the field where she can see most of the schoolyard.

A group of boys were playing jacks. They’d made it to foursies, from what she could tell. Another boy hovered around them asking to join, but they ignored him.

The girl turned away from them and took a rubber ball out of the front pocket of her overalls. She bounced it against the ground on her own. Then, she turned back to the boys, still steadily bouncing her ball. She watched. When the time was right, she launched her ball into their game, knocking the jacks out of a boy’s hand. They yelled. She caught her ball without missing a beat.

The girl smiled, then turned her attention to the jungle gym. Almost ten children were winding their bodies between the bars, some resting on levels, others climbing to the highest perch. The few children in the center looked like they were imprisoned. An acrobatic cage. One boy made it to the top, or rather almost. His feet were on the second highest bars, his hands on the highest. He put one foot up on the high bar and tested his balance, releasing the pressure on his other grounded foot. His hand slipped, but he got his grip in time to only suffer a minor embarrassment (one of his friends saw, and proceeded to laugh). The boy climbed down after that.

She looked down at her cream colored Mary Janes and tapped her toes together. In the corner of her eye, inching toward her, was a remarkably fuzzy caterpillar. It bobbed up and down like a wave, growing closer and closer to the shore of her shoe.

“I got it,” someone yelled.

Then thud.

The caterpillar disappeared under a grass stained sneaker belonging to the boy who “got it”. “It” was a rubber ball, and the boy she recognized as the one whose turn at jacks was interrupted.

He ran back to his friends, taking no notice of her or his victim. The insect, upon inspection, hadn’t been entirely crushed, and was still wriggling. She gingerly scooped it up with a sturdy leaf and rested it in one hand while she cupped her other around it like a shield. She watched it writhe with increasing intensity, then intermittently, then not at all.

--------------------------------------------------------

On the following Monday morning, Bill was surprised to see that he had beat Holden in to work.

He poked his head in Wendy’s office.

“Captain America not in yet?”

“No,” she replied, barely looking up from the page in front of her.

“Maybe he finally got lucky,” Bill joked.

He got a smirk out of her that time.

Bill turned around and, seeing that Gregg was preoccupied with a phone call, didn’t bother closing the door.

“I’m going up to talk to Gunn,” he said softly.

“Good.” She paused. “Do you know what you’re going to tell him?”

“Marital problems.”

Wendy nodded her approval.

Gregg’s voice got louder from the hallway.

“Is he still on the phone?” Wendy asked.

Bill turned to confirm. “Yup.”

Wendy closed her file.

“This is ridiculous. We can’t be expected to assist in every single murder case across the country. We can’t even keep up with the inquiries.”

“What did Gunn say?”

She rolled her eyes.

“I haven’t really mentioned it, not explicitly. He’s not exactly receptive to my ideas. Knowing him, he would probably ask why Gregg was the one dealing with it and suggest I take over secretarial duties.”

“He’s not that bad, is he?”

Wendy’s eyes flicked up at him. Her look said it all.

“I’ll talk to him,” Bill decided. “Tell him we need to hire someone.”

“Thank you.”

He nodded.

Holden speed walked into the office, his forehead glistening with sweat.

“Good morning, sunshine,” Bill greeted.

Wendy got up from her desk and joined Bill in the doorway.

“Sorry,” Holden muttered breathlessly.

“Is everything alright?” Wendy asked.

“What? Oh, yeah. I had to take the bus, but I forgot my wallet at home and…It’s been a morning.”

“How’s your car?”

“What happened to your car?” Bill interjected.

Holden, still exasperated, dropped his briefcase on the desk with a thud.

“It wouldn’t start when I went to leave the bar on Friday, so Wendy gave me a ride home.”

Bill threw a side-eyed glance at Wendy who wrinkled her nose in subtle disgust.

No, Bill.

“I got it towed to the shop on Saturday,” Holden continued, “but it wasn’t a dead battery. Turns out I need a new timing belt, and they couldn’t get one in until today. I have to pick it up in a couple hours because they close early, and when I called this morning it still wasn’t ready, which is why I had to take the bus. Hence…” He gestured to his state of disarray and exhaled.

“Happy Monday,” Wendy said before disappearing back into her office.

Bill got roped into a case that delayed his plan to talk to Gunn. It was almost 11am before he was finally able to go upstairs. Nearly 23 minutes later, Bill returned to the basement where Holden and Wendy appeared to be waiting for him. The pair looked at him expectantly.

“It went fine,” Bill admitted. “He gave me some sympathy about ‘the old ball and chain’ and poured me a finger of whiskey. As long as we stay on track and deliver, we’re good.”

“That’s great, Bill,” Holden said.

“And Gunn agreed about hiring an assistant,” Bill added, to Wendy’s relief. “A non-agent, but someone who can deal with the sensitive matter. He said he would talk to you about it.”

Wendy’s face dropped.

“Why me?”

Bill opened his mouth to explain, but stopped. He couldn’t find the right words.

She understood.

“Of course,” she added bitterly. Because I’m the woman.  

Sometimes she missed Boston.

“Oh, shoot,” Holden exclaimed, noticing the time. “I gotta go.”

“Did you send that profile to Osborn?” Bill asked.

“Yeah, I just faxed it over,” he replied, already halfway out the door.

“Kids,” Bill joked, shaking his head.

“So, how’d it really go?” Wendy inquired.

“It really did go fine,” he replied sincerely. “Better than expected, honestly.”

“But?”

Bill sat on the edge of the desk.

“I guess I still feel…uneasy about the situation with Brian. How would it look if the FBI found out my kid was involved in a murder.”

“But he wasn’t, Bill. They concluded he wasn’t responsible. It’s on the record.”

“I know. And I know that logically he thought the cross was a good idea,” he admitted. “I just don’t feel good about it. And now I can’t even keep an eye on him. I don’t know if he’s still wetting the bed. Or if he’s started sucking his thumb again, or if he’s spoken at all.”

Wendy offered him a sympathetic smile.

“From what you’ve told me, it seems likely that the regressions are a result of the traumatic experience. Nothing more.”

“I just feel so helpless.”

They sat in silence, neither knowing what else to say.

“If there’s anything I can do,” Wendy offered.

“Thanks. Really. I’m glad you’re around.”

Bill got up to leave.

Wendy passed by the fax machine on the way back to her office and picked up the pages of the profile Holden faxed to Alaska. She scanned the page, then stopped.

That little-

There was a knock.

“All by your lonesome, Dr. Carr?”

“Not anymore,” Wendy muttered under her breath.

She turned around to see Gunn standing in the doorway.

“I don’t know if Bill had a chance to mention it to you,” he said, making his way over to her.

“He did.”

“Good. HR has a standard secretary job posting. I’ll have them send it your way and you can let them know if there’s anything to be added. I trust you to select the applicants and conduct the interviews, but I need to sign off on the hire.”

“Isn’t this something that HR can handle on their own?”

“They don’t know what it’s like in the BSU. The intricacies of your operations. You’re the expert on that.”

She straightened her posture and folded her arms.

“You were involved in hiring Agent Smith, weren’t you?” he added, taking a few steps forward, closing the gap between them.

“Yes, but that was different,” she explained. “He’s actively involved in our work.”

“And so will the woman you hire.” She fought hard not to roll her eyes. “I thought you’d want to have a hand in who joins this team, Dr. Carr.”

“That’s -” she started, then stopped.

She took a breath.

“I feel that my time would be better spent focusing on our research,” she explained.

“And this is part of that,” Gunn stated confidently. “Everything that happens in this basement is. And beyond. All the cogs in the machine have to be well oiled and working together.”

His tone was final and his feet were already headed towards the door.

“Let me know if you haven’t gotten anything by the end of the week,” he added, already halfway out the door.

The phone rang, as if on cue.

She walked away, letting the sound echo in the empty room.

Wendy was in the break room getting her third coffee of the day when Holden returned from his errand.  

“Hey, is there enough left for me?” he asked, preemptively grabbing a paper cup.

Wendy continued pouring coffee into her cup until the pot was empty. Holden looked at her cup, full to the brim. She picked it up carefully and took a sip from the top, looking Holden square in the eyes, before walking past him back to the office.

He stood there for a few seconds, stunned, before following her.

“Hey,” he called, just as she was about to enter her office.

Wendy turned around, unimpressed.

“Did I miss something?” Holden asked.

She was amused by his question, but not happy.

“Yes, Holden,” she said with more than a hint of condescension. “You missed a significant portion of my professional opinion in the Alaska profile.”

He thought for a moment, trying to remember what she could have been referring to.

“The military thing?” Her look confirmed his guess. “I thought we agreed he didn’t fit the military description.”

“I very clearly stated that it was very likely he did work at the air base.”

“Yes, but then I said I disagreed and you dropped it, so-”

“So, you took that to mean I conceded.”

“Well…”

She’d had it.

Gregg, who took notice of their dispute, removed his headphones to spectate properly, albeit discreetly.

“Look,” Holden said in a softer voice. “I don’t want to argue.”

“If you can’t tell the difference between a rational discussion and an argument-”

“Do you want me to call them?” he interrupted. “Tell them we made a mistake and we’ll send a new assessment?”

Wendy weighed this option briefly.

“No,” she concluded. “The damage is done. It won’t look good if we change our mind unless we’ve been presented with new information.”

Holden exhaled loudly. She stared him down. It didn’t appear that he’d learned this lesson.

“What’s done is done,” she added.

She retired to her office, closing the door firmly behind her.

Gregg looked up at Holden. Holden stared back, trying to think of something to say. His mind drew a blank, and he walked away, shaking his head.

The first thing Wendy did when she got home was pour herself the remainder of her bottle of Pinot Gris. It filled her glass well past the acceptable half-way point, but who was there to judge her.

The second thing she did was check her answering machine. She always tried to do it casually - just a quick glance - as if someone might be watching and think she was neurotic. The little red bulb was dark, as it always was. It seemed like a silly purchase now, slowly gathering dust like her love life.

She took a large sip of wine and opened the fridge. It was sparse. There was half a carton of eggs, an opened container of hummus, a three inch block of cheddar, and a nearly empty carton of milk next to a half full carton of orange juice. The crisper contained a bruised apple, two oranges, and a few stalks of celery.

Unmoved by her options, Wendy opened the cupboard only to find a bag of dried apricots where there would normally be cans of tuna. She once again opened the fridge and took out the cheese, an orange, and two of the celery stalks. From the cupboard, she took out the dried apricots as well as a box of crackers from the one next to it.  She sliced the cheese and arranged it carefully on a plate next to a matching number of crackers. Next to the crackers was the celery, cut into sticks, followed by orange wedges and a handful of dried apricots completing the circle. She scribbled down “tuna” and “milk” on the notepad pinned to the fridge before bringing her dinner to the living room.

Wendy settled into her usual chair, curled her feet up, and turned on the television. It was quarter to the hour, right in the middle of any half-hour show and too near the end of a full hour program. She flicked channels through twice before stopping on an episode of Wheel of Fortune, which promptly went to a commercial break.

She took a bite of one of the celery sticks only to find it bitter. It hadn’t looked spoiled from the outside, but it’s hard to tell sometimes. She tossed the stick back onto her plate and grabbed an apricot to cleanse her palate. Much better.

A man from Sarasota made it to the final round, but couldn’t guess the puzzle. Wendy got it in four seconds. When the episode ended, she turned off the television and brought her briefcase back to her chair. She pulled out the file she brought home on John Wayne Gacy. The Killer Clown.

Gacy’s mug shot was more unique than most. He was looking away from the camera, off to the side, and smiling. It was as if he was having a pleasant conversation with one of the officers when they snapped his picture. He didn’t look nice per se, however he wasn’t glistening with sweat. This wasn’t surprising though, considering he admitted he knew he was going to be arrested. And he confessed willingly, although it was only after police had found the remains in his crawl space.

Wendy read through the details of the first convicted murder, Timothy McCoy - formerly known as the “Greyhound Bus Boy”. Gacy had left a family party to go look at a display of ice sculptures, then decided to lure the 16-year-old to his car from the Chicago Greyhound Bus Terminal. He was on his way to Omaha from Nebraska. Gacy drove him around Chicago, showed him the sights, then back to his house where he told McCoy he could stay the night. He even offered him a ride to the station in the morning in time to catch his next bus. According to Gacy, he woke up early in the morning to see McCoy standing in his bedroom doorway with a knife. Gacy got out of bed and charged at McCoy, who raised his hands in surrender, still holding the knife. It cut Gacy’s arm in the panic. Gacy, who was much larger than McCoy, wrestled the knife from him and banged his head against the wall. Gacy kicked him multiple times. He wrestled him to the ground, straddled him, and stabbed him repeatedly. Then, Gacy claims he cleaned the knife in the bathroom. When he went into the kitchen, he found an open carton of eggs and a slab of bacon, unsliced, on the table, which was set for two.

This poor boy just wanted to make him breakfast, as a thank you, and he died for it. All because he didn’t leave the knife in the kitchen.

Wendy swirled the remainder of her drink in her glass, then held her hand steady and watched the wine continue to swirl and splash around the curves, briefly gaining momentum before slowing to a soft ripple.

Maybe Gacy would have killed him anyways. Maybe he never meant to drive him to the station that morning. Maybe McCoy was always meant to end up in Gacy’s crawl space, covered in concrete.

She took a sip and turned the page.

[steves-on-a-plane]

Dental Dread

Words: 1298 Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader Warnings: Dental procedures described. Summary: Reader hates going to the dentist, but it’s time for their regular dental check up so they force their boyfriend Steve to go along with them to the visit. Steve, who grew up sick and around doctors most of his young life doesn’t share Reader’s mistrust of dentist and willingly tags along to comfort his significant other.  Author’s Note: I had a dental emergency yesterday and had to go the the dentist. I ended up needing three fillings and honestly the idea of Steve Rogers being at the dentist with me was the only thing that got me through it. 

Your knee bounced impatiently. The back of your legs stuck to the cheap vinyl seats of the waiting room. Your stomach was turning. You should have had something for breakfast like Steve suggested, but well it was too late for that now. You were going to die with an empty stomach. You sighed, fighting hard to expel air from behind a paper mask. A warm hand reach over and came to rest on your anxious knee. The hand grounded you back into reality. Right, you weren’t going to die. You were just being dramatic. You weren’t even sick; it was just a routine dental visit.

“It’s going to be okay, [Y/N].” Steve promised.

“Easy for you to say, you’ve already had your dental exam.” You hissed. “And I bet you passed with flying colors!”

“It’s not a contest.” Steve chuckled, but the sound was slightly muffled by his own paper mask. He enjoyed seeing this side of you. The side that was capable of fear. Steve had seen you beat up thugs twice your size and launched yourself across rooftops without a second thought, but the idea of the dentist terrified you.

“They’re going to find a cavity; I know they will.” You wrapped your arms around yourself. “They always seem to find one no matter how many times a day you brush your teeth or if you floss or not. It’s a scam.” You continued to ramble, and Steve didn’t make an attempt to stop you. For once he was glad there was a mask hiding his smile. “I mean why do we even have these mandatory check-ups? Just so they can bill my insurance?”

“[Y/N] [Y/L/N]?” A young man called your name from a nearby door. You grabbed Steve’s hand while you tried to decide if the cartoon teeth on the hygienist’s scrubs were cute or sinister.

“I’ll be right here when you get back.” Steve vowed.

“No, no.” You shook your head. “You’re coming in there with me.”

“I don’t think they’ll let me, we’re not married…” Steve started to argue but you weren’t having it.

“Oh no, you and Tony ordered these mandatory visits. That means at least one of you has to come in and see me suffer. C’mon, Rogers.” You rose to your feet and tugged him along.

“I’m sorry,” Steve apologized to the hygienist. “I’m sure it’s against the rules but..”

“Actually, as long as the patient is fine with it, we do allow one other person in the room.” The hygienist smiled. “It tends to make our more…trepidatious patients feel more comfortable. Right this way, [Y/N].”

“I’ll be right here the whole time.” Steve said as he sat in a small rolling stool in the corner of the examination room.

“That’s too far away.” You complained.

You didn’t say much after that as the hygienist began to take X-Rays of your teeth. It was uncomfortable as he continued to wedge plastic pieces of various sizes in your mouth at seemingly random angles to get the films he needed. The only comfort during this process was the heavy lead blanket like apron he’d placed on your chest. It held you down like a vinyl coated hug. A small corner of your brain wondered if when Bruce went to the doctor or the dentist did they make him wear a lead apron. Considering the aprons were designed to protect the wearer from radiation.

“She’ll be right in.” The hygienist promised as he removed your lead security blanket.

“See, that wasn’t so bad.” Steve commented from his stool in the corner.

“That’s because she didn’t start poking around with the weird fishhook thing yet.” You told him.

“I think it’s just called a dental pick.” Steve guessed.

“Well, whatever it’s called, I don’t like it.” You complained.

“Okay [Y/N], oh and Captain Rogers, a pleasure as always.” The Avenger’s dentist smiled as she entered the room. “[Y/N], your X-rays look great, I’m just worried about this molar here.” The dentist pointed to a monitor that you could barely see from the bedlike dental chair. “You see this dark area here? It seems like you might have a cavity on that tooth. So, what we’re going to do is have Andy continue with your scheduled cleaning and then I’d like to take another look at this tooth okay?”

“Uh okay.” You agreed meekly. The dentist left the room and you were alone with Steve. He expected you to start ranting again about how you were right they always find a cavity. You very well may have if you weren’t semi paralyzed with fear. The only thing worst than the fish hook tool during a cleaning was the lidocaine needle they used during fillings. You heart was racing and your stomach felt like it was twisted in an impossible knot.

You tried your hardest to disassociate through the entire cleaning. You forced your mind to think about anything else other than the scratching sound that seemed to radiate through your skull and the slight ting from the dental pick as it pulled away from one tooth an on to the next. You tried to separate your mind from your physical self. It was an admirable attempt. When at last Andy the hygienist offered you a small cup of water to rinse your mouth with you felt your heartrate slowing. That is until the Doctor returned, and you watched Andy prepare a tray of instruments for her.

The dentist decided definitively that the tooth in question did need a filling. The thought alone had you gripping the arms of the chair until you left crescent shaped marks on the undersides of them. You knew it would do no good to protest, avoiding the cavity would only make it worse. So you nodded and said nothing.

“I can hold your hand, Doll.” Steve offered. “Do you think that would help?”

“Please.” You breathed, trying not to sound too childish. So, Steve wheeled his stool over to your side. You reached for his hand and held it with a vice like grip.

“Alright, you’re just going to feel a little pinch.” The dentist said as she poked a needle into your gums. “Great!” Now Captain Rogers you can stay there while [Y/N] gets numbed up but once we start doing the actually filling Andy and I will need some space to work.”

“You got it, Doc.” Steve promised. “You’re doing great, [Y/N]. Steve assured you. The hard part is over now.”

“Okay, [Y/N], are you ready?” Andy the hygienist asked.

“No.” You told him honestly.

“Captain Rogers is right,” Andy agreed. “the hard part is over. Just lay back and relax, you’ll be done soon.”

The remainder of your visit wasn’t terrible. Thanks to the lidocaine you heard more than you could feel. You were almost starting to find the whirl of the dental drill soothing before the dentist removed the tool and began filling in the cavity. At last you were offered another small cup of water to rinse your mouth and then the visit was over.  

You breathed a heavy sigh of relief and shakily reached for Steve’s hand as you climbed down from the dental chair. You leaned against him for support, not exactly feeling your best. The feeling would pass, you knew that much, but as your body came down from its state of shock you felt nauseous and dizzy.

“I’m proud of you, [Y/N].” Steve said as you walked down the hall together, away from the dental office. “What do you say I take you back to your room and we snuggle under the covers. I’ll put on a movie for us and you can watch it till you fall asleep?” He offered.

“I’d say, I love you, Steve.”

[johannesviii]

Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 2017

Not a very good year for hit songs. Still better than the next one, though.

And a very satisfying #1 that launched an entire infodump about a specific band. I’m not even sorry.

Disclaimers:

Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

Of course there will be stuff in French. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.

I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

2017 might not sound super distant, but it’s already distant enough to analyse what started to happen to me that year with some clarity. This is when I started to lose some of my energy and motivation. A lot, in fact. Everything suddenly felt exhausting and this whole “what’s even the point of anything” mentality started to fall on my shoulders. And you know what, at first, while making these recaps, I had no idea what started it all. Was it that super rare infection I caught in early 2018 and almost made me lose a part of a finger? Was it both my grandfathers dying in mid 2018? Was it the general state of the world? But no, I did some digging and noticed this general exhaustion actually started right during summer 2017 and I was like what the f█ck happened in summer 2017? That summer was fine?

And then it clicked. I know exactly what kickstarted my spiral into about 18 months of depression, and it’s got nothing to do with health or family. It’s something that shouldn’t have affected my life in any way, and that I kinda tried to ignore at the time, and some of you might even find me overdramatic or cringy for letting it affect my life. But yeah, as I’ve realised while making these lists, Linkin Park was actually a super important part of my life, so it makes perfect sense: what started it all was Chester Bennington killing himself. Clearly, someone who had contributed so much to convince me that life was worth living and who suddenly decided it wasn’t worth it, that had a huge impact on me, whether I wanted it or not.

Aaaand now I’m crying again. Great.

Anyway. Uh. Important albums that year! Yeah so uh. Depeche Mode made Spirit and it wasn’t good, and so I kinda lost faith they would ever make a great album again, but I did realise one of my teenage dreams and saw them in concert in the Stade de France in July 2017 (it was huge. Going home after that felt like waking up from some sort of hypnotic trance. They even played Walking In My Shoes, one of my absolute favorite songs from them, along with a video featuring a trans person going to work and I started to bawl my eyes out in the middle of the f█cking crowd). Nine Inch Nails also made Add Violence and continued to be super good, and Indochine made 13, and while it wasn’t nearly as good as Black City Parade, it was also better than La République des Météors, so I was pretty happy about that. EDIT: Forgot about Under Your Spell by The Birthday Massacre, which blew my goddamn mind, but still not as much as the next album I'm gonna talk about.

But the defining album of the year, to me, was Mike Oldfield making a sequel to my favorite album from him, with Return to Ommadawn. Of course it’s not as good as Ommadawn. But still. If Ommadawn felt like discovering a new strange country full of weird folklore and forests and mysterious buildings, Return to Ommadawn feels like going back there half a century later and seeing things in ruins and wounded people, but still trying to seek beauty and joy in a partly destroyed landscape. It makes perfect sense considering the circumstances that surround the making of this thing, and it was the only way to make a good sequel to such a legendary album.

Unelligible songs that piss me off... uh, actually there’s only Cut to the Feeling by Carly Rae Jepsen. Why wasn’t it a huge hit. Come to think of it, why hasn’t any Carly Rae song been a huge hit since Good Times. This feels unfair.

Time for some honorable mentions, then.

Feels and also Slide (Calvin Harris and a lot of other people) - Got nothing to say about either of these songs, but they’re both pretty good.

Katchi (Ofenbach) - Nice little earworm.

No Roots (Alice Merton) - Super surprised this was a hit. Good.

OK (Robin Schulz ft James Blunt) - That’s a James Blunt song in the year of our lord 2017 and it sounds actually good??

What About Us (Pink) - Really caught my attention and made me wonder if I should listen to Pink again after a long streak of mediocre Pink songs.

Congratulations (Post Malone) - I find the song mostly boring but the guest verse ending with “uh, Malone... I gotta play on my phone...” is the stuff of legends and that got a chuckle out of me every time I heard it.

Glorious (Macklemore) - I’m glad this was a hit here but at the same time it’s not my favorite song from him. The music video is adorable, though.

Fly (Odyssey) - Nothing to say about that one.

XO Tour Life (Lil Uzi Vert) - The fact that I was regularly humming this is either a sign of quality or yet another sign I was depressed as shit.

Devil in Me (Purple Disco Machine) - What a great artist name.

Symphony (Clean Bandit) - Nothing to say here either, just good sound all around.

Attention (Charlie Puth) - 2017: The Year Charlie Puth Made A Great Song.

All Stars (Martin Solveig & Alma) - The last cut. It was on the list at some point. I really like it a lot, though.

And now, the list. The stuff I genuinely love starts at #6 and things that are still on my mp3 player to this day start at #4.

10 - Chained to the Rhythm (Katy Perry)

US: #73 / FR: #10

I just love the concept of a Katy Perry song about how Katy Perry songs are happy nonsense distracting you from actual issues. What can I say, I’m a sucker for meta stuff.

9 - Water Under The Bridge (Adele)

US: #88 / FR: Not on the list

An Adele song projecting actual positive energy!? That automatically goes on the list.

8 - Praying (Kesha)

US: #67 / FR: Not on the list

You know I mostly dislike slow emotional songs regardless of how good they actually are. I will, however, make an exception for this one even though I very rarely listen to it considering how emotionally taxing it is. That’s definitely a fantastic song, though.

7 - Viens On S’aime (Slimane)

US: Not on the list / FR: #53

“Listen, we love each other, f█ck it, f█ck their words and their decorum, listen, we love each other, f█ck it, f█ck their ideas and what they’re saying”. Well said, dude, well said.

6 - There’s Nothing Holding Me Back (Shawn Mendes)

US: #23 / FR: #91

That’s a very good song for running and that is becoming increasingly rarer, so I’ll take what I can get.

5 - Paris (The Chainsmokers)

US: #42 / FR: Not on the list (that’s irony for you)

Unlike Closer this is an unrelatable song about rich young people that can afford to live in Paris just “to get away from [their] parents” but honestly that’s the only negative thing I have to say against it. It sounds fantastic.

4 - Castle On The Hill (Ed Sheeran)

US: #40 / FR: #50

We’ve now entered the realm of songs that are still on my mp3 player to this day. This is the only Ed Sheeran song I’ve ever liked, and I love it. It sounds like a lost U2 song. Maybe from a strange dimension where U2 became more fragile and emotional instead of more pretentious.

I have no idea why this guy keeps making such boring stuff when he’s got that kind of song in him. I have no clue.

3 - Something Just Like This (Coldplay & The Chainsmokers)

US: #5 / FR: #19

Hey so Coldplay is still on my lists, apparently. It’s a bit too slow, some lyrics about superheros don’t make much sense, and the drop isn’t super good, but my god, that guitar near the end makes everything worth it. Just amazing colors and textures all around.

It’s not even my favorite song on that EP! I think Miracles (Someone Special) is even better, but eh, this one is a close second.

2 - 24k Magic (Bruno Mars)

US: #16 / FR: Not on the list (#13 in 2016 but I put it on the 2017 list instead)

Am I the only one to like this more than Uptown Funk? It’s so much fun to sing along to it. And unlike Uptown Funk, it’s making me feel nostalgic for an era I actually (vaguely) knew, the super colorful and ridiculous early 90s. My s.o loves it too and when it comes up on the radio or on our playlists you can bet we’re both going PUT YOUR. PINKY. RINGS UP. TO THE. MOOOOOOOON like two idiots.

This is the song I could have put on the previous list but elected to put on this list instead since it was elligible for both years, by the way! Since 2017 was less good than 2016, I thought it would be more interesting to save such a great song for later.

It would have topped the list too, if it wasn’t for something I didn’t expect to be elligible before reading the French year-end list.

Strap yourselves in, because I had no real opportunity to talk about this band at length in the posts made for the years when it was the most relevant in my life, so this is going to be quite long.

1 - La Vie Est Belle (Indochine)

US: Not on the list / FR: #44

As you already know if you remember some of my previous lists, Indochine is a band I started to love right in the middle of the absolute worst years of my life. These guys had been around since the 80s as a super successful new wave band, then became very unpopular and went underground for about twelve years in the entire 90s, then one of them died, then every member except the singer basically rotated, and then they suddenly re-emerged in 2002-2003 with Paradize, a monster of an album, full of energy, sinister themes and weird provocative songs, and an entire generation of angsty teenagers (me included as you can guess) embraced it wholeheartedly.

And all of a sudden Indochine was the favorite French mainstream band of local young punk/goths! So many kids with the Indochine logo in highschool. Nowadays the band is mocked and well-loved in equal doses by just about everyone, but I suspect it’s just because we’ve all grown up.

Placebo, Linkin Park and Indochine were the bands that ruled my entire world in 2003/2004. My mother hated all three of them, because of course she did, but especially Indochine, because according to her it was partly their fault if I was gender non-conforming. See, she used to say, they had put all kinds of bad ideas in my head and now I was all messed up.

...Holy shit, that’s a lot of blame to put on a ridiculous new wave band who’s first hit song from 1983 is just a long nonsensical list of shitty old Bob Morane pulp novels.

But here’s the problem. Even if Indochine kept having hit song after hit song, those were never the best songs on their albums. Here I am, 31, making these top ten lists since last December, and becoming more and more frustrated to see none of my favorite modern Indochine songs are elligible. My favorite Paradize singles were Mao Boy, Popstitute and especially Marilyn (god, this song rocked my entire year alongside Placebo’s The Bitter End. 2003 was such a fantastic year for dark energetic hit songs)? Too bad, the biggest hits were J’ai demandé à la lune and Le Grand Secret. Alice & June had four fantastic singles? Too bad, none of them is elligible! Same thing for the entirety of Black City Parade. Oh, but that song I hate from La Republique des Météors is elligible, I guess!

So we’re in summer 2017, and my life is completely different now, and Indochine releases La Vie Est Belle (I’m linking the album version and not the music video because it has some violent themes in it). I’m in my car doing some errands and the local radio goes “hey new song from Indochine” and I’m like “oh shit, gotta hear this” and then two minutes later “oh wow, that is super good. Won’t be a hit though”.

And yet, it was a hit! It became huge, even! And at that point I was already loving that song even though I thought it was just a super good but tragic love song about a significant other dying too young.

And then, about a month later, the wordplay of the first line finally hit me with the force of a semitruck. It’s not a love song. It’s a song about the singer’s dead twin. Who died in 1999.

It’s such a devastating, beautiful song, and yet it’s full of energy. I. adore. it. It’s exactly the kind of song you need to continue to fight and to live and to help other people in this day and age. “Life is beautiful and cruel, it looks like us sometimes” indeed. And it’s one of the best on the album, too!

So yes, 15 years after I first fell in love with this band and after they helped me during super dark times, finally, I can put one of their songs at the top of one of these lists, hands down, no debate whatsoever.

That probably sounds ridiculous but it’s genuinely making me feel extremely emotional.

Next up: I thought music sucked that year because I was depressed but I relistened to it and no it wasn’t just me

[that-curly-haired-lesbian]

Queer Analysis - Should’ve Said No

As promised, here’s the second analysis of the day: Should’ve Said No.

This song was actually quite hard for me to find a queer angle to, by all appearances it seems Taylor’s been cheated on and that her partner cheated with a girl. That girl is the only one given a pronoun throughout the song, both the I and the you are kept gender-neutral here and of course the hetero interpretation is that poor Tay’s boyfriend cheated on her with another girl, but since the “boyfriend” doesn’t have a pronoun “he” might as well be a “she” right? Okay, so maybe Taylor’s girlfriend cheated on her with a third girl? Sure, that’s queer, but changing a pronoun that was never even stated in the first place doesn’t make for much of an analysis, does it?

Then it hit me, what if Taylor isn’t the I in the song, what if she’s you, what if Taylor is the cheater! It seems like a reach given how much Taylor talked about that infamous boyfriend who cheated on her in high school, right? Well, reach or not, it sure makes for a compelling queer analysis to assume this song is about compulsory heterosexuality, so here we are.

Before we start I wanna state that this is one way to interoperate this song, there are a million more I’m sure, but this is my suggestion. Also I’m obviously not accusing Taylor of being a cheater or condoning cheating in any way shape or form, this is just the most interesting queer way in which I could think to look at this song.  

So let me explain this idea for a second…In previous analysis we’ve discussed the way Taylor tends to step into “the guy’s” shoes in order to sing about girls in a safe, #NoHomo way; like how she proposes to Juliet in Love Story or tells us that she fell in love with a careless man’s careful daughter in Mine for example.

However, Should’ve Said No is different, in this song Taylor is singing from her male love interest’s perspective throughout the whole song. In this theory “I” is a boy and “You” is a girl, but not a female love interest she wants to get away with singing about in a gay way. No, in this song the girl is actually Taylor herself. This might be the only time Taylor is singing about herself from a boy’s perspective in the way the hets claim she does all the time whenever she sings about a “she”, but unlike those other examples where the hets would apparently rather claim she’s a huge narcissist than consider that perhaps she’s in love with another girl, the way Taylor sings about “You” (herself) here is in no way flattering. Let’s get into it.

Lyrics credit to AZLyrics.

–

It’s strange to think the songs we used to sing

The smiles, the flowers, everything is gone

Yesterday I found out about you

Even now just looking at you feels wrong

–

So in the beginning of the song poor “I” has just found out that “You” cheated on them (or for the purpose of this analysis, “him”) and is now telling Taylor (aka “You”) that all the romantic memories he has of their time together are ruined. The flowers he gave her, the songs they sang together and the smiles that he interoperated as mutual attraction, it was all a lie and now he can’t even look her in the eye. In short, she’s not who he thought she was, because it would seem their entire relationship was nothing more than a display of compulsory heterosexuality on her part.

  You say that you’d take it all back, given one chance

It was a moment of weakness and you said, “Yes.”

–

In many of her early songs Taylor stated that she would change herself a bunch to fit into the heteronormative expectations people at school put on her, even down to the way she walked or talked (the unreleased song My Turn To Be Me is perhaps the best example of this.)

She did all this to get “the popular kids” to accept her. Is it then so completely unreasonable that she had a period of time during which she tried her hardest to be straight as to be more included at school? Perhaps as this song would suggest she even went and got herself a boyfriend during this time, thinking she could hide the “reckless” part of her that wanted to be with girls.

When her boyfriend then found out she’d cheated on him, which is bad enough, but on top of that it was with *hetero gasp * A GIRL. Boyfriend understandably questioned this and Taylor, immediately apologizes.

She’s horrified at no longer being “straight-passing” and probably also feeling bad that she dragged this boy into this, a boy she most likely liked perfectly well as a friend which is why she choose him as her “boyfriend”. As many people trying to convince themselves and others that they’re straight often do she probably confused the friendship feelings she had towards this boy with romantic ones. However by “leading the boy on” she’s now hurt his feelings AND outed herself in the process and so she tells him that it was a slip-up and that she said yes to this girl during “a moment of weakness”  aka when the desire to act on the gay became too strong, that it didn’t mean anything and that she’s still “straight”.

Don’t forget that according to peeps in the L chat (maybe not the most resalable of sources but they do have SOME tea ☕️) Taylor had gay rumors and specifically “pillow princess” ones at school, meaning she’d be with girls and let them “do all the work” so to speak, but never return the favor. Because then, in her mind (as in many people’s minds when they’re going through compulsory heterosexuality) as long as she didn’t do anything to the other girl it “didn’t count” and she could still cling to the “straightness” she so desperately wanted to live up to.

–

You should’ve said “No”, you should’ve gone home

You should’ve thought twice ‘fore you let it all go

You should’ve known that word

'Bout what you did with her’d

Get back to me (get back to me).

And I should’ve been there in the back of your mind

I shouldn’t be asking myself, “Why?”

You shouldn’t be begging for forgiveness at my feet…

You should’ve said “No”, baby, and you might still have me

–

In the chorus the boy questions why, if Taylor is indeed actually straight like she claims, why didn’t she just say no to the other girl? Why didn’t she at least think about the fact that she had a boyfriend before she agreed to do anything with the girl? Why didn’t she just go home? If she is indeed straight why does she even have to apologize to her boyfriend, why didn’t she just say no to the girl in the first place, why wasn’t the fact that she had a boyfriend enough reason to do that? Essentially, “Why can’t she just BE straight when she’s trying so hard to ignore her attraction to girls??”

Well, maybe at the time Taylor didn’t even know the answer to all that herself, but I do and it’s called compulsory heterosexuality, it’s very common for lesbians to go through a big part of their lives having convinced themselves and everyone around them that they’re straight when they’re not. The heteronormativity in society is so deeply ingrained that stuff like that actually happens (x)

–

You can see that I’ve been crying

And baby, you know all the right things to say

But do you honestly expect me to believe

We could ever be the same?

You say that the past is the past, you need one chance

It was a moment of weakness and you said, “Yes.”

–

Taylor, seeing that she’s hurt her boyfriend’s feelings tries to reassure him that she’ll never do what she did again, that it was a one-time thing and that she really wants them to pretend it didn’t happen, she’s “so Not GAY, or anything” after all. Well, while she may sound convincing (she does have a way with words) the boy tells her that he doesn’t think they could ever go back to being what they were before, not now that her true colors (no pun intended but 🌈🌈🌈) have been shown. Taylor again tries to argue that it’ll never happen again and that she only said “yes” to the girl in a “weak moment” aka one where her “straight persona” that she was keepiing up both for herself and others failed in the face of temptation. She’s attempting one last time to convince both him and herself that she isn’t gay and can in fact be in a hetero relationship and have that be enough.

–

(Chorus)

–

I can’t resist

Before you go, tell me this:

Was it worth it?

Was she worth this?

–

Not convinced that he should take her back the boy can’t resist asking Taylor if being with a girl was worth ruining the relationship she had with him? Was it worth shedding her perceived “straight-passing” for one fleeting moment with a girl?

It’s interesting that the person “You” cheated with is the only one in the entire song to get a pronoun, either that’s because Taylor’s #NoHomo:ing as usual since giving “You” a female love interest immediately makes them A BOY (just like giving You a GIRLFRIEND in YBWM immediately makes them a boy to the heteros) or it’s somehow significant that the person “You” cheated with was a girl specifically, maybe because “You” is a girl too?

–

No… no, no, no…

–

Taylor’s response to the question is no, perhaps because she’s still clinging to the idea that she COULD be straight if she tried hard enough, or because she’s sad she hurt the boy by doing this to him? Either way we then launch into the final chorus where the boy (and maybe even Taylor, in all her frustration at herself) once again questions that if it wasn’t worth it, then why couldn’t Taylor just say no? welcome to internalized homophobia and compulsory heterosexuality, kids! It’s fun and can make both you and everyone around you feel shitty and confused because of your actions, it’s a gay old time!

–

(Chorus)

–

Thanks for reading and hope you enjoyed this even if it was a bit more far-fetched than usual, anything to add a queer twist to the songs, right? Don’t be afraid to suggest other Taylor songs for me to take a queer look at 😊

The next song on the list is All Too Well

[providentially-demonic]

Merry Christmas

Shaggy was surprised to get a message from the Justice League that someone had requested his help personally. His affiliation with the League was more researching Ring and making sure his magic didn’t get out of control than him actively helping, the incident with the Scarecrow aside.

But someone had contacted a police station to contact the Justice League and given Martian Manhunter his exact description when asking for help.

He knew he was going to catch flack for it later (and Ring had reminded him of it), but he hadn’t told the Gang, much less brought them. If whatever this was was Justice League level stuff, he didn’t want to risk it.

“Flying too, huh. Dangit Beatnik, what can’t you do?” Tex grinned a bit cheekily as Shaggy landed.

“Tex? Like, you’re the one that called?”

“None other. Me and the boys got a little something we’re doing, and we could really use some help. Er, don’t suppose you got more subtle ride?”

>>I believe I can accommodate<< Golden light sparked from the ring, tracing the form of a motorcycle like the one he’d ridden in La Serena. A ripple went down it, changing the solid yellow to a more realistic color scheme, weathering and all.

“Like, not bad Ring,” Shaggy complimented, even as it manifested a helmet on his head.

“Ring?” Tex asked.

“Yeah,” Shaggy showed him Ring. The Power Ring was in it’s disguised state, appearing as a golden ring with an emblem of a sun rather that the ubiquitous lantern. “Ring’s great. It helps me control my power and can do a bunch or really cool stuff, like make this motorcycle.”

>>Nice to meet you<< Ring spoke out loud this time. >>Though I was technically present during your last encounter with my bearer, we were not formally introduced at the time<<

Tex raised an eyebrow. Well, that at least answered the question of who Beatnik had been talking to after he’d been shot. “Good to meet you. I’ll explain on the way.” He got on his own bike. “There’s a group we run with sometime. Fine folk and we’re happy to lend a hand when they ask, which isn’t that often, they got things mostly covered. I know I don’t have to tell you it’s a scary world out there. And one that isn’t always safe for kids.” He may not know all the details to Beatnik’s story, but just hearing the scars it had left with him told him enough. “These guys help kids who’ve had wrong done to them. They protect them. Sometimes it’s riding around the street outside their house so they know someone’s watching over them. Sometimes it’s standing next to them in court when they tell the Judge what’s happened. The bad guys aren’t so bad when your friends are scarier.” Tex explained.

It made a lot of sense, honestly. He wondered, if his memory hadn’t been wiped of it’s trauma, would he have been one of the children this group looked out for. “Sounds like some good guys.”

“The best.” Tex said without hesitation. “But there’s a slight issue with a new kid we’re watching out for. The guy who’s scaring him is his Mom’s ex-boyfriend. And unfortunately, he’s a bit scarier than we are.”

“Scarier than a biker gang? Two biker gangs?” “Supervillain,” Tex explained. “Not a Major Leaguer.  Nothing like your little dustup with the Scarecrow. But as far as the kid’s concerned, it’s enough that we’re not quite enough to ward off the boogeyman. There’s no indication the guys gonna come after him or his Mom. But our job is to make the kids feel safe, and the truth is we don’t.”

>>But if there’s someone by your side with powers, that would be a whole other ballgame<< Ring surmised.

“Got it in one.” Tex confirmed. “I’m not asking you to fight a super villain. Just give this kids some peace of mind.”

Shaggy was quiet. Peace of mind was no small thing. It was something he hadn’t had in a long time, and while he was getting better at dealing with, well, everything, as long as he felt his ever present fear, he knew there was still damage there.

“Like how can I help?”

~

The neighborhood looked ordinary, except for the large groups of bikers riding around the block and even more congregating outside. Some he recognized from Tex’s posse, almost all the others he saw wore a patch that said ‘B.A.C.A.’. One of the ladies with the patch looked Shaggy over. “This your back up? Looks like a stiff breeze could blow him away?”

“Beatnik’s got all sorts of surprises” Tex explained as Shaggy got up and the bike vanished.

“I stand corrected. Take him on up,” Nothing they had done so far had given the kid a sense of security. Maybe this would.

Tex led Shaggy through the house and up the stairs. Mick was standing out in front of the kids room. He brightened upon seeing Shaggy. “Cody was put to bed half an hour ago, but he’s still awake. He’s a good kid.” Cody had actually been scared for them. Afraid his tormentor would come back and carve a swath through the bikers before coming for him and his mother.

>>I can feel the fear coming from that room<< Ring whispered in the back of Shaggy’s mind. >>It’s palpable<<

That gave Shaggy an idea. Ring expressed his concern about it, but Shaggy pointed out that the whole point was to make Cody feel safer and this would do that.

Shaggy wasn’t sure if it was his imagination, empathy, or an effect of Ring, but when he saw the kid he could feel the fear coming off him. No kid deserved to feel like that. “Hey Kiddo.”

“You should go.” Cody insisted. “He’s just going to hurt you too.”

The brokenness of the voice almost broke Shaggy’s heart, but he had never been a slouch at acting when under pressure. “Like, bigger dudes have tried, man.” he said cheerfully. “I’m pretty hard to catch.”

Tex put his arm around his shoulder. “My man here took out the Scarecrow himself. He’s a lot tougher than he looks.”

Cody looked skeptical, but Shaggy was ready for that. He waved his hand and with another ripple like the one on the bike. The room changed so that suddenly Cody’s bed was in the middle of an evergreen forest. The ground was covered with snow and more seemed to be gently falling from the sky.

“Whoa” Cody whispered.

“I’m, like a wizard.” He still hated admitting it, but for the kid his voice was jovial. Another hand wave returned the room to normal.

Cody’s eyes were still bright. “Like with a wand and everything?”

“No wand. What I use is a magic ring.” Shaggy pulled Ring off and dropped it in the boy’s cupped hands.

>>Greetings Designation: Cody<<

“It talks?”

“Yup, Ring’s alive and has some pretty powerful magic of his own. Which is why I want you to hold on to him till this is over.“

“M-Me?”

“Yup. That way you can, like, make your own force fields and stuff.”

>>Indeed. Just think of any object and I can create it<< Ring supplied.

The kid closed his eyes and a yellow bubble appeared around the bed. “Whoa,”

~

“You going to be okay without the ring?” Tex asked, concerned.

“I, like, should be man.” Shaggy took a sip of coffee fresh from the coffee maker. “My magic is, like, a lot harder to control without Ring. But I shouldn’t need it. This is about Cody feeling safe, and having a way to protect himself will do that. Also, Ring and I are connected enough that it’s dampening down on my fear.” He wasn’t La Serena fearless, but his normal levels of apprehension were dialed back enough that he just felt calm.

“It can mess with your emotions?” Tex looked concerned.

“Strong emotions can mess with magic,” His new calmer state helped him remember that he couldn’t tell anyone that is was specifically fear. The cover story that Ring was a magic aid and not the Prime Yellow Ring had to be upheld. “And uncontrolled magic is  a scary thing man. Real scary.”

It still sounded concerning to Tex, but he could sort of see the point. And Beatnik had certainly still had a range emotions last time they met and tonight, which meant it wasn’t turning him into a drone or anything.

>>Shaggy! The Enemy is here!<< Rang through his head at the same time Cody’s scream shot through the house, >>He has a magical artifact with him. He’s in designation: Cody’s mother’s room and he’s heading here!<<

Shaggy dropped the mug in shock. This wasn’t supposed to happen. The villain wasn’t supposed to actually show up!  Without thinking he grabbed Tex and pulled him out the back door.

Any protest Tex had died on his tongue as they tumbled out of Cody’s closet door. Mick and Cody’s mother was in the grasp of some strange purple and black energy, the source of which was a man Tex recognized from the picture he was shown at the beginning of the protection detail. Carlton Revner, aka Grendel. A two-bit magic thief whose powers came from the enchanted jewel floating in front of him. He hadn’t had it on him when he was arrested, but obviously he had known where it was.

Grendel’s full attention was on the yellow sphere in front of him. Cody was still screaming, but his fear was being focused into Ring to make the barrier even stronger.

Tex didn’t hesitate. He jumped at the man attacking the boy he’d promised to protect. He never made contact, though, as right before he would have hit him, the jewel pulsed and suddenly he was bound just like Mick.

He heard Beatnik cry out and felt something indescribable, but not unfamiliar. It was like the feeling when Beatnik had healed him in that bar, only flooding the room. The purple energy shimmered and crackled before dispersing, dropping him, Mick, and the poor woman. He shot a glance at Beatnik and saw what looked like the very air around him warping and twisting as he tried to keep himself under control.

Grendel snarled and turned his full attention to Shaggy. The purple and black power surged out and trying to wrap him up. Tried was the operative word and Shaggy sent another pulse of unshaped magic. This one was even bigger and disrupted not only the energy around him, but knocking everything back, including Grendel.

The thief tried to grab his power source, but the jewel was knocked out of his hand by a blast of yellow. It didn’t come from Shaggy, but rather the scared boy sitting in his bed, hand still clutching the ring tightly. Grendel launched himself at the boy, boy was knocked away by a solid punch to the guy from Tex, followed up by one from Mick.

“We’ll take this piece of trash outside till the cops get here,” Grendel trembled, as the people he’d dismissed as unimportant were suddenly a much more tangible threat. “Everyone going to be okay in here?”

Cody’s mother was already on the bed and hugging the child. Cody’s fist was still wrapped around the ring, but he was clinging to his mother even tighter.. The distortions around Beatnik had stopped and he seemed to be clutching a pocket watch.

“Like, I think we’ll be good once he’s gone.” Shaggy was a little out of breath, but seemed to be recovering.

“You’re staying, right?” Cody looked at Shaggy, who nodded. “Then I’m fine, right Mama?”

The woman nodded, not able to speak. She just held her son closer and Tex and Mick escorted Grendel from the room. And if he was in a bit of rough shape when the cops got here, who was going to complain?

~

Superman floated down next to Batman “Watching over his first solo mission?” “It’s not a mission. The League was just used to get in contact with him. I’m keeping an eye out for the family. Grendel should never have been allowed out on bail.”

Superman certainly agreed with the latter half of the statement, but he knew Bruce too well. When not doing something for the League he tended to be a bit of a homebody in Gotham. There was little reason for him to be here, except to be watching over one of the newest kids he had taken under his wing. “So how’d he do?”

“The solo part was a big demerit. He should have told his friends, especially Scooby since he can also access the ring’s power.”

“Which one of us hasn’t done the ‘keep our friends safe for their own good’ bit?” He’ll learn, probably as soon as he gets home. Maybe sooner if they track him down before then. Admit it, you’re proud.”

Batman narrowed his eyes at him. “Of course. That went without saying.”

~

Superman’s prediction was accurate, as the Mystery Machine joined the bikers the next morning. Technically there should have been no threat with Grendel reapprehended, but B.A.C.A. wasn’t just about physical danger, but making sure their small charges felt safe. They stayed a few weeks past the trial, and left with the promise of immediate return should Cody need it.

>>I rather enjoyed that<< Ring admitted as the rode back to Coolsville in the Mystery Machine. >>I had resigned myself to forgoing fear as it was something primarily utilized by villains. I enjoyed being able to cause fear in the interest of doing good.<<

“I don’t know why you’re so surprised,” Velma commented. “That’s sort of Batman’s whole schtick.”

>>Designation: Batman is an outlier who should not be counted<<

“What about you Shag?” Fred asked. “How did you like it?”

“Like, I’m not sure I like being scary.” Shaggy touched the sleeve of the biker vest he’d been gifted, a ‘Bikers Against Child Abuse’ emblem on the sleeve and the name ‘Beatnik’ sewn onto the back. “But helping kids stop being afraid? That I can definitely get used to.”

 *********

I Love this so much! I love how Shaggy was willing to admit to being a thing that scares him, just to comfort Cody and how he lets the kid hold Ring to comfort him.This is a great fic and you are so, so, so, sooooo wonderful for writing it for me.

[amongushq]

Welcome (back) to Among Us, DANA! SAGE GRAVES ( with the faceclaim of NATALIA DYER ) has found shelter in NEW ATHENS, where we hope SHE will fit in nicely. Please make sure to check the “after applying” section of our navigation here!

Sage is just a very, very interesting character to read about. On the one hand, we get the feeling that she’s about to burst into tears because she’s so fragile, but on the other hand, she’s incredibly strong, as demonstrated in the sample para. She’s a very complicated person, but you have her all figured out, there’s no doubt about that. We’re looking forward to the moment she’ll finally have had enough; few things are more powerful and paralysing than fear, making Sage a heavy hitter psychologically, even though she wants to hone her abilities for good, she could still be a formidable enemy.

AND YOU ARE…?

What is your full name, and when were you born?

The petite girl crossed her legs, folded her hands, and rested them on her knees. A polite smile on her face, she answered: “Sage. Sage Annabelle Graves is my name. Nice to meet you.” She brushes some of her hair behind her ear, “I was born on September 13th, 1996 in Valley City, Ohio.” She lets out a short laugh, “I suppose my mother named me the way she did because I was born on a Friday the 13th. Can you believe that? My father must have loved that, honestly. To me, it’s just a day. But I do like my name. It’s kind of ironic really. I was named after something that is used to ward off evil, after all.”

Have you been claimed, or do you belong to a legacy? If yes, state your godly parent / heritage.

Another smile appears on her face, this one slightly more menacing. It’s almost as if she’s relishing the idea of how the interviewer will react to who her father is. “Have I been claimed? Why of course I have! My father is Deimos.” The grin gets even bigger, “You know who he is. Don’t you? The Greek god of terror. Him and his twin brother are kind of…not the most respected. My father can be a bit of a child, honestly. He did help me learn to be less afraid, though. I guess he can’t be all bad.” She purses her lips, tapping her fingers on her knees.

“Of course, that was probably for his own good, I suppose. If I learned to control my fear, then I could help him. It was a total win-win situation for us, I guess. Like father, like daughter.” Sage grins at the interviewer, “I mean we can always talk about what you’re afraid of if you want to. Everyone’s afraid of something and I promise I won’t use it against you. Where’s the fun in using something against someone who hasn’t done anything to you? Unless of course you’re the person who ratted us out,” she narrows her eyes at the person sitting across from her. “But you wouldn’t do something like that, would you? That would be so silly of you!”

Where are you currently based? Are you attending a Camp (Half-Blood / Jupiter), or are you living full-time in New Athens / New Rome? Is it a combination of both?

“I’m currently based out of New Athens. I’m living with my boyfriend, Abel,” she smiles a little. “I live there mostly full-time, I guess you could say. I’m going to school there, too. For psychology,” she trails off for a moment. Getting lost in her own thoughts for a few moments before she cleared her throat and shook her head. “Sorry, where were we? Oh yes, I also visit my friends underground sometimes.” She notices the interviewer raising her eyebrows at her. Sage narrowed her eyes, tilting her head to the side. “Is that a problem? If you think it is then it’s really none of your fucking business, is it?” She offers them a bright smile, too bright in spite of the venom in her voice, “some of my best friends are a son of Angelos and a daughter of Nyx. Isn’t it wonderful? I’m sure you wouldn’t want them to hear you said anything bad about them, sweetheart.”

Can you tell us a little bit about yourself? ( If you’re applying for a canon character, are you diverging from book-canon? If so, how?)

Sage stared at the interviewer, trying to judge whether she was fucking with her or not. She hated talking about her past and how much she was tortured throughout her youth. Maybe not physically or by anyone that anyone else could see, but the damage was still done. Taking a deep breath, she uncrossed her legs and folded her arms in front of her chest. “Well, like I said. I grew up in Valley City, Ohio. Funny enough, my family owns a graveyard there.” She notices a smile on the interviewers face and she scowls in return, “What? You think it’s funny? Imagine what that must be like! Being messed with by kids in school! Sage Graves the graveyard girl! It was…” She closed her eyes, squeezing them shut and mumbling to herself, “Sorry I…I’m sorry that wasn’t your fault you didn’t know. I shouldn’t have snapped like that. Bad things happen when I snap…I’m sorry.”

She opened her eyes and the interviewer thought she saw a glimmer of something different there before the girl launched into her tale again. “Anyway, my mother was very superstitious. A lot of weird things come with living on the grounds of a graveyard. I was really afraid when I was a kid…And when I was really afraid, I would see things.” She ran a hand through her hair, avoiding eye contact. “I mean…like ghosts and stuff. I would always be afraid that I would see things like that so I guess my fear kind of made them manifest themselves. Does that make sense?” She cracked her knuckles. “There was one in particular who wouldn’t leave me alone. She…she followed me to camp. My friend Eden helped me…with her. She’s not around anymore.” Sage gulped, clearly uncomfortable with the direction her story had taken, “She was my cousin and she…um…she died when I was about 10. It was a really bad accident and I saw the whole thing…I don’t want to talk about this anymore!”

The little brunette dug her nails into the arms of her chair, closing her eyes once again. The interviewer probably thought she was crazy. She didn’t blame her at all for it, really. She knew she was acting crazy, “I’m sorry…everyone else’s fear is really fucking with my head right now. I’m usually more put together than this, I’m very sorry.”

What were you doing prior to The Recall?

Sage opened her eyes once again, looking more worn out than before it that was even possible. The girl had dark circles under her eyes when she had arrived, but now she looked like she hadn’t slept in a week. “I was…I just was going to school for psychology. I was so afraid when I was younger that I decided I wanted to help other people,” she sniffles, rubbing her eyes, “help other kids who were afraid like I was when I was younger. Even mortals. It was the best way I found that I could help people. I’ve done some bad things in my life. I just decided that I didn’t want to hurt anyone anymore.”

SHOWTIME!

The brunette had been tortured by many things in her life, but none as evil as the blonde girl who decided to make her life a living hell. Upon arriving in Camp Half-Blood, she had tried her hardest to make friends. She had almost none back in Ohio due to her regular panic attacks and everything else people thought was wrong with her. Still, the older girl had decided that she would make her life miserable. From calling her by the wrong name whenever they crossed paths to making fun of her stutter, it never seemed to end. That was up until Sage’s father came to her in a dream.

*

The dream was surreal as most dreams usually are, too quiet and the colors too bright.

“Why am I afraid,” she asked in a determined voice. It was the least she’d stuttered since she was a little kid.

Her father simply pointed to the center of her forehead, a slightly menacing smile on his face. “Why, it’s all in your head, my child! Your powers turned inwards when you didn’t learn how to use them at such a young age.” He clicked his tongue, waving a hand dramatically in the air. “Of course, I could always teach you to use your powers.”

It’s the funniest thing when you live your life in fear. When someone offers you an escape, you’re willing to take whatever you can get.

*

It took a few weeks for the girl to learn how to really use her powers. Fear was a funny thing, it was different for everyone else. Some were afraid of spiders, others of death. And one girl in particular, she learned, was afraid of failure and scorpions. Sage approached the girl who made her life a living hell. “Hello,” she said quietly. Her hands folded in front of her as she spoke, she still looked as innocent as ever. There was no real way of knowing what was going on in her head.

“I found something really cool near the woods. It’s not far. I thought you would like to see it, too! Unless you’re afraid,” she batted her eyelashes to put emphasis on it. It could sound just as innocent as she wanted to but odds are the other girl saw it for what it was: a challenge. So the blonde girl walked off towards the woods with the dark-haired girl trailing after her. A few hours later, they returned exactly as they had left except for the fact that the blonde was now sporting a broken leg.

Through crocodile tears, Sage told someone who asked that they had simply gone for a walk and she’d tripped over a root and broken her leg when she landed wrong. She wasn’t going to tell them that she had shown the other girl what she was most afraid of. Why would she tell them that?

[codename-bewareofthefangirl]

Some fluffy soukoku! This is THE best ship of all time realy xD ...okay one of the best ships but yeah~ my birthday is coming soon and what about dazai's 18th birthday? Celebrating with the port mafia and chuya

Hi dear! My first bsd drabble!! I don’t know how thishad turned put, actually. I decided to describe the two of them a bit morecarefree than in canon and more friendly to each other since this is when theywere still young and without knowing what awaited them in the future! I hopethis is not too ooc!

Ps. I don’t know if it’s correct that Akutagawa wasalready in Port Mafia at the time, if it’s wrong please forgive me!

Enjoy it! ~

 Seeing TheStars

 Speaking honestly, Dazai had never cared about hisbirthday.

Not having someone special to celebrate it with, itwas only another day like the others. The only positive thing was that he was astep closer to death.

That’s way, when that evening he returned to the headquarterof Port Mafia, after the usual murdering routine, he nearly had an heart attackat the loud popping of paper cones and had risked to suffocate in confetti. Hehad stared incredulous at all his comrades reunited, the hanging words “Happybirthday!”, the colored balloons floating everywhere and Chuuya in the middleof everything, a proud and excited smile on the lips.

His partner had immediately reached him and, bumping afist against his shoulder, congratulated him for having survived another year.Dazai, unfortunately, was still so shocked that didn’t know how to react atall, but Chuuya hadn’t cared a bit and hadn’t given him time to be awkward. Hehad dragged him around so that everyone could greet him properly: there were evenOda and Ango chatting in a corner, plus a scowling Atukagawa with a pink partyhat on the head.

Chuuya had thought of every detail: there was hisfavorite cake, with a hanged man on top of it as decoration; a lot of alcoholicdrinks, the perks of being mafia, and even birthday gifts. They had given him abook of suggestions about suicide, a package of new, clean bandages and a couponfor his favorite café.

And Dazai, unexpectedly, had enjoyed himself; obviously,it was a very particular and filled with dark-humor party with all thateccentric mafia’s members, but he had the occasion to laugh to his heartcontent for once, to drink calmly with his friends and pranking or annoying theothers without serious consequences. (Trying to put a matching hat on Rashumon hadn’tbeen his best idea, but it had been worth to try) Even Chuuya’d tried tostrangle him less hard and minded his insults more than usual; Dazai could seehow much he was trying to not let his temper take control when he provoked him.For some reasons, his comrade really wanted him to spend a good, eighteenth birthday.

It had been the best birthday party, and the only one,he ever had.

And it would have been perfect too, if Chuuya hadn’t drunkso much.

 Dazai sighed another time, looking at the boy who toddledlike a child in front of him. He was humming the song about suicide Dazai wasused to sing, mistaking four words out of three, and it said all about hiscondition.

As usual, Chuuya liked drinking even if he couldn’t holdit and ended up drunken, with Dazai babysitting him to avoid him dying in thestreets. To think one of the most strong and powerful fighter of Port Mafiacould revert to being that childish.

“Dazaaai! Look at the stars, so pretty!” Chuuya chirped,pointing to a completely black sky. Stars covered by smog and the cold, electriclight of the lampposts.

Well, at least he was a happy drunk.

“Blinding.” He replied rolling his eyes, while followinghim slowly with the hands in the pockets of his cloak. They were lucky there wasnobody around and so he could let him yell and be crazy as he wanted.

“A FOUNTAIN!” Suddenly Chuuya screamed and rushed stumblingtowards a big round fountain, with a statue in the middle, at the side of the street.

Dazai widened his eyes horrified, and darted behindhim, but it was too late. That idiot was surely going to fall in and then hewould have to bring him home whining and dripping wet!

Luckily, even in that state, his partner had excellentreflexes. He jumped on the stone border and looked at Dazai from above, withthe hands on his waist and a smirk on his lips.

“I am the best partner ever, Dazai, am I not?” Heasked swinging his arms left and right.

The other arched an eyebrow amused and perplexed,still trying to understand if it was the case of dragging him down by force ornot.

“You are?” mocked him grinning, but Chuuya was toolost to still perceive sarcasm.

“Yes I am! I’ve organized the best party ever and youwere super happy!” he explained smiling widely; the alcohol had clouded the usualtension and rivalry between them and he was literally shining at Dazai withjoy.

“I was?” Dazai teased him again, coming nearer to himin case his body decided to betray him and let him fall in the water. That Chuuyawas in some way irresistible, he wanted to tease him more.

“You were! You were smiling at me aaaaall the time!”Chuuya assured, nodding wildly, with red cheeks and watery eyes.

Dazai covered his mouth chuckling at his enthusiasm.

“Yeah, maybe I was.” Admitted playfully and Chuuyabeamed.

“I knew you liked me!” exulted, taking of his hat andthrowing it in the air.

Dazai cursed and rushed to pick it midair before it couldbe damaged or lost. He didn’t want to deal with his partner’s nagging andcomplaining about it the next morning.

“Now don’t exaggerate.” Muttered, thinking fondlyabout his bed. It was three in the morning, why Chuuya had to get crazy now?

The boy didn’t even hear him, he had start talkingagain.

“And I tell you, we’ll be the best of Port Mafia!”

“Yes, yes, now let’s go.” Dazai gestured him to comedown, but he hadn’t finished.

“Everyone will know our name! “Soukoku” is going to bethe nightmare of the underworld. The strongest fighters of Port Mafia! Theunbeatable duo!” excitedly listed opening his arms and looking at the sky withfierce joy.

Dazai felt his lips curling in a small smile andfinally Chuuya looked at him again, locking their eyes.

“Oi Dazai,” asked somewhat now serious and impatient, “’Causewe’re gonna be like that, right?” asked, tilting his head to the side.

The brunette blinked surprise, but in the end noddedwithout thinking. A sort of warmth spread in his stomach after a too long time.

“Yeah I think that too!” Chuuya agreed giggling andthen bended so that they were eye to eye, “And we’re gonna be partner forever,right? Together forever?” Dazai for a moment lost himself in the blue in hiseyes and his head spun.

But then he decided he didn’t care. It was hisbirthday, he was a bit drunk too maybe and surely, Chuuya was going to forgeteverything in the morning. Dazai wanted to forget the crying holes in his soulfor a night, he wanted to feel that warmth for a bit longer.

“We are.” Answered with a catlike smile and Chuuya brightenedup with a happy exclamation. Then, he suddenly launched himself against Dazai,arms around his neck.

“Idiot what…!” Chuuya sworn stumbling back, taken bysurprise, and hugged him tightly too, so that he didn’t fall, “Do you want todie?!” growled, trying to shove him off but the other was falling in his drunkenworld again and clung to Dazai like a child.

“I don’t hug men.” Dazai tried again, feeling hischeeks blushing slightly, but then he felt Chuuya nuzzling against his necklike a cat and sighed, “But only for this time I will make an exception.” Whispereddefeated, caressing his hair and lulling him to sleep.

Ah, he had to be drunk like Chuuya.

Now, he could see stars in the sky too.

[indyandthefelines-blog]

Princess Leaves a Legacy

As the leaves began to change color and fall to the ground, Princess started to grow more fatigued each day. Finally, she realized that her time here was limited. The thought worried her immensely. After all, who would take care of the biped, and keep order with the Penny and Indy? She had grown very fond of her biped, who was in the middle of recovering from some sort of operation. Princess knew that her biped depended on her to lay on her and offer encouragement by purring and giving her head boops. She knew that the biped appreciated all her help, because she gave her lots of treats, and petted her frequently, including her favorite, which was having her head rubbed with a q-tip. She loved the feel of the soft cotton rubbing the top of her head and the bottom of her chin. She knew that she didn’t have much time, but she worried about leaving all these things undone. She had more to teach her housemates, and she wanted to watch as they matured. Alas, she knew that was not meant to be, but her biggest concern was leaving her biped all alone. Would she feel abandoned? Would she think she was unloved? Who would take over caring for her? Even as she felt herself getting weaker, this worried Princess. She didn’t say anything to Penny or Indy-youngsters like them wouldn’t understand; they lacked her maturity and wisdom. Of course, she didn’t let on to the bipeds that something was wrong. She didn’t want to worry them, and she just wanted to enjoy what time she had left. One morning, she was sleeping on her biped, when she heard the other biped arrive home and quickly go to the spare room, talking in a low, calm voice, but she didn’t know to whom. She decided she would worry about it later, as she was quite comfortable where she was located. A little while later, Penny came rushing in. Princess had been sleeping so soundly that she hadn’t known her biped had gently moved her over to her favorite blanket and had left the room. “Wake up old lady!” Penny exclaimed. “There is another cat in our house! Who do the bipeds think they are, bringing in someone else without our permission?” Princess took a moment to stretch and shake her head before she said, “OK, let us go and see what this is all about.” Princess was shocked at how deeply asleep she had been, but decided to leave that subject to ponder later. A new cat in the house was a more pressing concern than sleeping heavily. Penny followed slowly as Princess led the way to the spare room. The door was cracked open, and she peeked inside. Her biped noticed. “Come on in, ladies, there is someone I want you to meet. This is Bert.” Indy sat in the hallway, unsure what to do. ”Indy, stay there for now, ok dude?” the biped directed him gently. Indy flopped to the ground and began to whine. Princess and Penny sat and sniffed the air as they looked at the fattest cat either one of them had ever seen. He was a deeper orange than Princess, and white, and he watched them nervously from the bipeds lap. This strange feline did not appear to be a threat in any way, so Princess opted for manners in her first interaction with this newcomer. “Greetings, Bert. I am Princess. Behind me is Penny, and that whining you hear is our canine brethren, Indy.” “I’ve met Indy, he scares me.” Bert replied. “He is so big; he could take me out in one bite.” “Well, maybe four or five bites.” Penny said so that only Princess could hear. Princess flicked her tail in Penny’s face. “You needn’t fear Indy. He is a kind and noble housemate. Now tell us, what brings you to our dwelling?” Princess asked. “Actually, I lived here a long time ago, but I moved with my friends to another house, even then I still saw these bipeds sometimes. My friends were older, and have both left this world. The bipeds that I was living with brought home some other cats, unfortunately one of them didn’t like me. I don’t know why, I think I’m pretty friendly and I didn’t want to fight, but that didn’t stop him from attacking me. When these bipeds heard that was going on, I guess they decided to bring me back to my first home. Please don’t attack me.” Bert pleaded. “I have no intention of attacking you, Mr. Bert.” Princess replied. Penny however had other ideas. She launched herself towards Bert, hissing as she got close to him, and at the last possible moment she turned and ran away, tail fizzed as she ran past Indy. Bert looked with wide eyes at Princess. “Um, what was that?” Princess sighed. “That was Penny attacking you.” Bert’s eyes widened even more. “That’s an attack? I would have thought it was an offer to play.” “Same thing as far as Penny is concerned most of the time.” “I think it’s good to be back. I’m pleased to meet you, Princess.” “Likewise, welcome Bert.” Having a new addition to the household gave Princess something else to consider for her quandary. She remembered the first time she met the biped; she had been in that noisy, chaotic holding cell for months. She had lost her first family, whom she had loved dearly, and her friends that had been with her for most of her life had been separated from her, and she never saw them again. On top of that, all she heard anyone say about her was that she would be a good cat if she wasn’t so old. She had despaired of ever getting out of that place, of any biped ever caring again. Then, that fateful evening she heard her biped say, “A senior cat? She is only 10 years old! She isn’t an old cat!” The biped had sat down across from her and quietly watched Princess, hand extended, repeating over and over, “Hello, pretty girl, how are you?” Princess had tried to resist, she didn’t want to be rejected yet again, but finally she gave in to her curiosity and went to the biped, giving her hand a sniff and rubbing it slightly. From that moment on, that had been her new biped, although she hadn’t known that for sure at the time, since her biped left. It was a few more weeks, and Princess thought she had once again been overlooked and discarded, when one day, the same biped returned. “Hello, Princess!” she greeted her. “Are you ready to come with me and check out your new accommodations?” Princess tried to contain her excitement; she didn’t want to get her hopes up as to what that meant, either she was getting a new home or she was being moved to another dreadful cage. Expecting the worst, she watched silently as the bipeds talked, and then gently loaded her into a carrier to take her to a car that she had never been in. The biped sat the carrier on a seat so that she could look outside if she wanted, and had talked to her the entire car ride. Princess was nervous about what her future held, but excited nonetheless at the thought of once again having a real home. This new home had been better than she had dared to hope for. The bipeds were kind and attentive. She had plenty of food and treats, lots of warm, soft, and sunny places to nap, and had two new friends, Indy and Penny, who despite being a bit immature had been good housemates, and had become family to her. Her biped was the best; there was no doubt in her mind about that. She had reminded her to have hope when she had nearly given up, and for that Princess was grateful. Her thoughts returned to the present. She was incredibly sad that she would be leaving, but she had an idea that she hoped would not leave the biped feeling abandoned. After thinking on it for a few days, she determined that it was the only way that she could leave this world without feeling like she was letting her biped down. She didn’t like the idea completely, but it was the best she could do with her impending circumstances. Sometimes the right thing to do was the toughest action to take. She sighed, and went to find Bert. He was lying on the back of the couch, opposite of her normal spot, watching whatever was going on outside. Indy was outside, and Penny was sitting in the window downstairs, keeping an eye on Indy, so their conversation would not be overheard. “Greetings, Bert. Might I have a chat with you?” “You most certainly may. Please come share this lovely view with me.” Bert replied, starting to move over a bit to make room. “No, no thank you, that is not necessary.” Princess paused, and before she could proceed any further, Bert interjected. “I know you are not well. If I may be so bold, how bad is it?” he asked bluntly. Princess couldn’t keep the surprise out of her eyes. “How…how did you know?” she stammered. Bert sighed. “As I told you, I had two friends that are no longer here. I was the youngest of them, by quite a few years, similar to the age difference between you and the other two. Nonetheless, they were my family and I loved them, but love couldn’t keep them here and healthy. For that matter, neither could anything else. Neither one of them said anything to me, but I watched as they slowed down, lost interest, and quite honestly, there is a certain smell as well. It’s not malodorous, but it gives me pause. “ “You are much more astute and mature than I gave you credit for, Bert. I should have realized since you and I are close in age, that you would be able to sense my…unfortunate state. Thank you for your discretion by not mentioning it to the youngsters.” Princess couldn’t keep the sadness out of her voice. “Is that what you want to discuss?” Bert asked. “Indeed it is.” She replied. “The other two, Penny and Indy, are unaware. I want to keep it that way for as long as possible.” Bert nodded. “Of course.” He acknowledged, as if this was just the way things were and she had stated the obvious. “I am sad that I will not be here to watch those two as they mature, but I am quite beside myself at the state I will be leaving my biped in.” Bert watched as she twitched her tail and paced a bit as she talked. “When I was at the shelter, all I heard any bipeds say about me was that I was too old. She was the only one that said I was still young, that I deserved a good home. As I have gotten to know her, I love her as much as I loved my first family. She relies on me, and I can’t stand that I’m going to leave her alone. I don’t want her to feel abandoned.” Bert watched Princess, but did not say anything. Princess continued, “I want your word, as a feline and a gentleman that you will take care of her for me.” Princess couldn’t meet Bert’s gaze as she uttered those dreadful words. She didn’t want someone else supervising her biped! She was jealous, she felt short changed, and she hadn’t had enough time yet! Bert studied her carefully before replying. It was somewhat uncharacteristic of her to show this much emotion, he had realized that in his short time around her. He didn’t want to disappoint her, but he didn’t want to make promises that couldn’t be kept either. “What exactly are you asking me to do?” he inquired carefully. “She needs someone to sleep next to her. She needs someone to lay on her and purr while she recovers from her operation. Someone to stay with her when she is in the toilet room. Someone to encourage her when she is doing that thing they call exercise. Someone to mark her so she knows she is not alone. Someone to meow at her and remind her if she forgets the normal routine. Someone that will, well, take over her care and maintenance and love her.” Princess finished, still unable to meet Bert’s stare. “Princess, let me be clear. I know we have not known each other long, so I am honored that you would trust me with such a request. I know that I will never replace you, nor would I try to do such a thing. The bond you and your biped have is irreplaceable. I will, however, do my best to look after her when that time comes. Please put your mind at ease, she will not be alone.” Princess was surprised at the rush of relief she felt. It felt as if a great burdened had been lifted off her chest, and she could breathe again. One more thought occurred to her though, that she wanted to make perfectly clear. “Bert, I am forever grateful, and I will never be able to repay you. But I must warn you, I am also extremely upset that my body is shutting down on me and I will not be here as long as I would like. You get to have all the love and experiences that I am going to miss out on, and I am quite envious of that, so please forgive me if I am not the most gracious, despite your generous acceptance of the care of my biped.” Bert nodded. “I know. Truly, I understand. Please know that I seem to be quite friendly by feline standards, and I may forget myself from time to time and try to be social with you. I will try to understand if you do not want me to and react accordingly.” “Thank you, Bert. You are more…intuitive than I gave you credit for. Thank you for easing my mind of this quandary with seemingly no solution at all.” Later that afternoon and still feeling relieved about her conversation with Bert, Princess realized there was one last thing she had to do, and she needed to accomplish this task before her body wouldn’t allow her the option. She found a piece of paper and pen, and wrote down her final words to Penny and Indy, tucking the paper in her favorite book for safe keeping until it could be found. With that, she found a wonderful sunspot in the kitchen and took the most peaceful nap that she could recall having in a very long time. On another positive note, her biped was well on the road to recovery, and had even returned to going to that work place, so she felt accomplished that she had managed to hang on long enough to get her through that situation. Several days later, Princess knew she couldn’t hide her illness from the bipeds any longer. They noticed she wasn’t eating, and had lost weight. They had been trying to get her to eat more by offering her more of her favorite foods, but nothing made her stomach feel well, let alone hungry. Finally, in the middle of the night, Princess could no longer control herself, and began vomiting until there was nothing to vomit, and then she was dry heaving. Her biped was awakened and tried to comfort her, but she had nothing to help at her disposal. Indy and Penny watched, offered words of encouragement, and were very worried. Sunrise brought with it the first major snowstorm of the season. Despite this, the biped called the veterinarian’s and immediately transported Princess to their office, despite the treacherous road conditions. “I’m not leaving you at home like this. We are going to get some help for you.” She said. The biped was very gentle loading her into the crate, making sure she had a nice soft towel to rest upon, and spoke in calm, soothing tones all the way there. Princess mustered the energy to softly meow a couple of times and lift her head up, but that was it. The veterinarian staff was also kind and gentle with her, as they whisked her away to run tests while the biped did the required paperwork. The day was a blur for Princess, she felt awful, then felt awful and had no strength. At least when she was asleep, it was a break from the nausea and pain. Much to her surprise, she heard the dad biped’s voice as someone took her from her holding area and loaded her into a crate. She was going home. She could scarcely believe it! On the ride home, she again mustered up a few meows, but she was exhausted. Her stomach felt a little better, but not much, and she still didn’t have any strength, appetite, or energy. Nonetheless, she was going home, and that was the best news of the day! After arriving home and getting settled in, she heard the dad biped on the phone thing with her biped, explaining that the vet instructed them to let Princess rest, that she may not be hungry tonight and she was very weak, but tomorrow they could offer her some food if she was interested. Princess was happy to be home, but too tired to stay awake, and fell into a deep slumber. When her biped got home, she was met at the door by Penny and Indy. Unbeknownst to Princess, even to the youngsters it was obvious something was very wrong, and they were quite frightened by it. She heard Penny meowing, “Do something!” over and over again while Indy whined and panted anxiously. The biped took care of Indy’s needs, quickly taking him outside, and then petted Penny for a few minutes. Bert was watching, but he wasn’t coming out or demanding anything. With the other beasties needs taken care of, the biped then settled in to be with Princess without being interrupted. “Hey, sweetie, how are you doing?” the biped asked softly, gently scratching Princesses head. She was careful not to pick her up or try to hold her, because she knew Princess had never liked that. Princess moved over, purring softly, and put her head on the biped’s leg. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to leave you, but I’m too weak. I don’t know how much time I have left here. Please stay with me. Please don’t be angry.” She mewed softly. “It’s ok, my little bugaboo.” The biped crooned, continuing to gently scratch her chin. She then retrieved a Q-tip and rubbed it gently against Princesses head, something else that Princess had always enjoyed. Princess finally laid her head back on her biped’s leg, and fell asleep. The biped propped herself against the wall and sat all night with Princess, although she did doze off and finally they both slept, as Penny and Indy stayed nearby, supervising. Bert kept to himself, not wanting to intrude. The next morning Princess woke up feeling parched. Slowly, painfully, she began to make her way to the water fountain. The biped awoke, saw what Princess was trying to do, and quickly but gently whisked her up and put her down next to the drinking fountain. “There you go. Good girl.” She encouraged Princess. Princess was feeling dizzy, so she took a moment to get her bearings, and got herself a drink. When she had swallowed as much as she could tolerate, she laid down to rest next to the water dish, something she would not normally do. The biped watched, but did not intervene. She knew that Princess would do what she wanted to do in her own time, and to not try and force it, even though she very much wanted to do exactly that. Grudgingly, the biped left for work, hoping that a little bit of rest would help, hoping against hope that Princess would be well again. After the bipeds had shift change, Princess decided she wanted to be in the living room. Unfortunately, that meant climbing the stairs. Nonetheless, she had made up her mind, and that was where she wanted to be. Slowly she made her way up a step; she would rest for a while, and then proceed up the next step. Indy had been watching, and couldn’t stand to watch her struggle with something that should be easy. “Here, let me help.” He offered as he unceremoniously grabbed her by the scruff of her neck with his mouth and as carefully as possible, and despite her meows of protest, he took her up the stairs and gently placed her on the couch. He was alarmed at how light she had been. “Thank you very much, my canine brethren. I’d prefer to get myself around, but in my current state I guess I will take any help I can get.” Princess said; her voice barely above a whisper. “You let me know where you want to be Princess, and I will get you there.” Indy declared; he was proud and glad to have found something helpful to do for her. “What is wrong with you?” Penny demanded to know, angrily flicking her tail back and forth, as she pinned her ears back. “I am having difficulty doing much of anything, much less climbing those stairs, my dear Henny Penny. It is not my intent to anger or alarm you.” Princess replied. Indy whined, but stayed still and observed, as did Bert, watching from his usual spot on the back of the couch, away from the others. “Fine, but you’d better just be play acting, trying to get extra attention or treats. I don’t find this funny or clever, Princess. ” Penny warned sternly, jumping up on her cat tower to stay out of the way. “I wish this was just a ploy for something, Penny. I am sorry to have to tell you it is not. I truly feel awful and exhausted.” With that, Princess once again fell asleep. “Isn’t she going to tell us what’s going on? Why can’t she stay awake? ” Penny demanded, to no one in particular. “Right now, she is sleeping, and I think we should let her, Penny. I don’t know what is wrong, why she is so tired. ” Indy advised nervously. “Also, I do not think she is play acting. I think this is bad, very bad.” He finished, looking at the carpet. As that statement sunk in, Bert continued to remain silent, and neither Penny nor Indy said anything further. Instead, they lay next to Princesses blanket and made a half circle around her as she slept. When Bert joined them, they did not argue, or say a word. Whatever was happening, Princess wasn’t going to be facing it alone. However, when Princess woke a short time later and saw Bert that close, she gathered enough energy to hiss at him. “Back off!” she exclaimed as ferociously as she could manage. Penny and Indy were shocked at her outburst, but Bert said nothing, and moved back, though he stayed as near as she would allow. Satisfied that he had moved, Princess immediately went back to sleep. That evening, the biped rushed home, very worried about what she might find. Princess was on her blanket, and did not have the energy to meet the biped at the door. Penny and Indy did, however, and the biped was met with worried mews and whines. “Do something! Make her better!” Penny demanded angrily. The biped immediately went to Princess, followed by Indy and Penny. She resumed petting Princess and talking to her in soft tones. They all watched as Princess tried to move, and her left side didn’t do anything. Despite that, Princess dragged herself along on the right side, mewing every so often. The biped finally picked her up, thinking she wanted a drink of water, and took her to the fountain. Princess felt limp. The biped put her down, and Princess lifted her head, and immediately dropped it in the water dish. The biped grabbed her immediately, and dried her off gently as she took her back to her favorite blanket. “I’m sorry. I love you all.” Princess mewed, before again falling asleep. Penny gave her a gentle head boop, and Indy gave her a sniff and whined when she didn’t protest as she normally would have done. Indy, Penny, Bert, and the biped kept an all-night vigil. Princess seemed to not really be aware of anyone or of her surroundings. She would sleep, wake up, crawl a few inches and meow as if it hurt, then fall back into her restless slumber. She was cold, so cold. The biped wrapped her up in her blanket with a heating pad next to it, but Princess didn’t want to be confined. It wasn’t a rational thought, she just preferred being cold to being confined, so the biped allowed her to wiggle away. Princess was vaguely aware of being picked up. She hated being picked up. She tried to protest, but a small meow was all that escaped her. She had no idea how much time had passed, but she knew she was with her beloved biped and housemates. “I know and I’m sorry, sweetie.” The biped apologized. “We are heading back to the vet.” She explained, gently placing her on something warm and soft in the travel crate. Princess went limp on top of the warmth, practically melting into it. She slept the entire way to the veterinarian’s office. She felt the carrier being lifted and carried in, all the while listening to her biped talk to her in a soothing tone, occasionally stopping to sniffle and clear her throat. She knew this was hard on her biped, and she was grateful that her biped was stoic enough to stay with her as this journey came to its final close. It was comforting to not be alone, even though she didn’t have the energy or ability to convey her appreciation, she hoped the biped knew. The next thing she knew, she was on her soft blanket, her biped stroking her head and telling her,” No more suffering, sweetie. I will miss you, but it’s time to part ways for now. I love you. No more pain. Be at peace. It’s ok; I understand you have to go now.” Relieved that her biped understood, Princess let go of the last little bit of life she hadn’t realized she was holding tight to; she needed to hear those words, and now she could go. She felt a poke, and her body completely relaxed. Her last sensation was her biped petting her and talking softly. Two hours later, the biped returned home, and saw Penny and Indy once again anxiously waiting by the door. When they saw the biped had not brought Princess home, much less her carrier, they were confused, and stared up at the biped expectantly. That was when they realized she had been crying, and was very sad. “Hi guys.” She greeted them, and then took a moment to try and collect herself. “It’s just us now. Princess had to go. It really sucks, I know, but she wasn’t going to recover, and I wasn’t going to let her suffer anymore. I don’t know how much you guys understand, but I hope you know that if there was anything that could have been done to keep her with us without her suffering, I would have done it.” Just then the daddy biped arrived home, and hugged the biped that had been Princesses, as they both cried. Penny ran down into the workout room. Indy followed her. “I don’t believe it!” she exclaimed. “How can anything ever happen to Princess? She is…indestructible!” “I don’t want to believe it either, Penny.” Indy replied. “I loved her. She was like our mom. But…you saw her. She was in pain, and really weak. I will mourn her passing, but I am happy that she isn’t suffering.” “Well, where do you think she went? What happens to you when your body gives out and you leave this world?” “If I may answer you, Penny.” Bert spoke up from the doorway, startling them both. “I have lost two beloved friends. They were like my parents. I had known them both since I was a small kitten. The biped that I lived with before coming back here said that they had gone on to some place called a rainbow bridge.” “Ok, what the heck is that?” Penny asked. “It is supposed to be this really awesome place. Nothing hurts anymore, you can run and play and nap in the sun, you can have all the treats you want, it’s peaceful, there’s catnip for us, so you have everything you could need. The catch is your family and loved ones aren’t there yet. But they say that one day, you will see your loved ones as they come to meet you there, and all of you together again can go on to another place, I don’t know much about that, but it’s supposed to be more wonderful than the Rainbow Bridge place.” Bert explained. Indy and Penny were silent, taking in this new information. Penny finally muttered, “She had better not have too much fun there without me.” Indy let out an involuntary chuckle. He had not been expecting her to say anything like that. “I’m sure Princess will save the really fun stuff until we all see each other again.” Indy didn’t like the dying part, but the idea of seeing Princess again made him a little less sad. Even though she knew that Princess was gone, and was probably in that Rainbow Bridge place having the greatest time ever, Penny still missed her terribly and wanted her back. She found herself still looking for Princess in all of her favorite spots, and she missed having someone to eat dinner with her, since Bert did not like canned kitty food. A couple of weeks passed, and Penny worked up the nerve to pull out one of the books that Princess used to enjoy reading, that one called a dictionary. She always said she liked to learn the definition of words, and to learn new ones. As she flipped it open, a piece of folded up paper fell out with Penny’s name on the outside of it. Confused, Penny opened it, and her eyes grew very large as she read and re-read it, while her heart pounded furiously in her chest. It was as if she could hear Princess reading this letter. “Indy, come here!” Penny howled, and when Indy did not instantly show up, she dashed through the house, holding the letter from Princess. “Indy!” she howled again. Indy was in the bedroom, on his bed, taking a nap. He opened one eye and looked at Penny, howling and patting his muzzle with her paw. “What is so important?” he asked. “You, of all the members of this house, highly value sleep. Why would you wake me?” he asked. “Indy, I just found this!” Penny waved the piece of paper. “It’s a note from Princess! She left us a note! She wants me to read it to you!” she exclaimed. That immediately peaked Indy’s interest. He sat up immediately, shocked. “Ok, I’m awake. Go ahead.” he said, as Bert ran in to listen as well. Penny cleared her throat. “Dear Penny. First, please share this letter with our dear canine brethren. I want both of you to know how much I loved you and enjoyed the time I got to be part of our little family. I am beyond sad that I am running out of time to be with you. I tried to look up a word for how sad I feel, and I was unable to find one that I thought was suitable. There has to be something worse than sad, but that word will have to do, as long as you two understand that my body failing me is not my choice and that I am not ready to leave. However, I do not seem to have a say in this particular matter. I have spoken with our new housemate, and he has been kind enough to agree to take over caring for my biped. That doesn’t mean that you and Indy cannot help, but I want you to know I’ve made arrangements with Bert as well. Please help Bert to continue to feel welcome, and both of you look after each other. I will miss watching you two grow up more, but you’ve both already grown up so much I can scarcely believe it. Remember me, and the lessons I taught you both, and I will never be far away. I love you both always. Love Always, Princess”. All three animals were silent for a few minutes. They could each hear Princess in their heads, reading that note to them. Finally, Indy said, “Please read it again, Penny.” Over the next month, Penny read and re-read the last letter from Princess, both to Indy, and to herself. Slowly, she began to accept that life would go on without Princess there, but she knew she would always have Princess looking out for her, when she wasn’t having too much fun at that Rainbow Bridge place. That thought made her feel better. She watched as Bert began taking over some of what Princess had considered her duties. Bert began to consistently follow the biped around, waiting patiently for her when she was in the bathroom, rubbing up against her legs and purring when she exercised, and sleeping next to her every night. He made sure she followed the routine of feeding them and scooping their boxes and giving them fresh water and treats, and if the biped got distracted he reminded her to get back on track by meowing until she did. He was keeping his word to Princess, and Penny had to respect and appreciate that. One day, she decided he needed to know that she had noticed his efforts. “Bert.” She called, distracting him from watching the neighborhood. “Yes, what’s up Penny?” he replied, pleasant but cautious. He knew the mourning process had no time limit on it, and he had been trying to give both her and Indy their space while they navigated this unpleasant and unfamiliar terrain. Yes, what’s up Penny?” he replied, pleasant but cautious. He knew the mourning process had no time limit on it, and he had been trying to give both her and Indy their space while they navigated this unpleasant and unfamiliar terrain. “I have been watching you take over the care of the biped. It’s…difficult to not have Princess here doing it, but I know she would greatly appreciate that you are a cat of your word, and I want you to know I appreciate it as well. " Bert nodded and replied, “Thank you. It is an honor, and I’m pleased that you approve of the job I am doing, and believe that Princess would as well. It isn’t too difficult; really, they are both good bipeds, just more active than I am used to. That fact keeps things interesting.” Just then Indy tromped into the living room. “They are not active enough for my tastes sometimes.” He interjected. “But they are good bipeds. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but I did overhear your conversation. I agree with Penny, and thank you for honoring the last request of our dearly departed Princess. I think it’s time for Penny and I to step up a bit though, and help you out with your duties. What do you think, Penny?”

Penny didn’t even hesitate. “Of course I can help with the bipeds more.”

“I’m sure Princess would approve, and the bipeds will enjoy more attention from us all.” Bert gave his seal of approval. “That was a very good suggestion, Indy.”

The bipeds didn’t know the reasons why, but suddenly all three animals were following them around, watching them as they went about their day, and making sure they were never alone, regardless of where they were or what they were doing.

“Have you noticed the beasties acting a bit out of character?” one biped asked the other.

“Yes, they’ve apparently decided we need more supervision.” The other replied. “It’s a bit disconcerting while using the bathroom or trying to sleep, but I think they feel like they need to take care of us more. Maybe Princess wanted them to do it.”

With that, a new normal became established at the house on the one-block, dead end road. Everyone missed Princess, and the impact she had on everyone was still being felt. Penny still read the letter from Princess, but fondness of all the good memories replaced the sadness for her and Indy as well. Maybe that was the hardest realization of all-that life goes on for those that remain, there is just a space where the one that passed on used to be, but the love remained always.  Princess would be proud that they had grown up enough to learn that very difficult lesson.