#honestly it would have been funnier if he was emo in looks

[hug-them-trees]

Unpopular (or not idk) opinion: the black eyes in the she hulk dd suit were not it. I’m constantly shitting on Batman for the fact that you can see his eyes (he looks like a total loser) and the contrast in this suit gave me the same vibes.

[a-tale-of-legends]

speaking of hair do you think there is any symbolism to the characters who have one eye covered by their hair like lusamine and gladion for example

Oh yeah definitively.

The typical trope of characters having one eye covering their is usually used to evoke shyness, simply not being a very social person, a hidden personality or past, or, you guessed it, ✨trauma✨. And of the characters that have these bangs, they are kinda fit the bill.

Lusamine is the most interesing to me, bc it tells us so much, both before and after we know her story. Before, Lusamine looks like a generally trust worthy person. She seems kind, parental, and incredibly devoted. But then you look at her hair, and how it interacts with her face. For the sake of this post, let's just talk about her bangs. Lusamine's bangs doesn't fully cover her eye. You can see it ever so slightly peeking out. It kinda acts like this...hood, i guess, leaving an overcast shadow around her face. It helps make her otherwise more kind face feel more.....ominous. Her smile doesn't exactly look kind anymore, and her eyes don't seem that welcoming. Like there's something more that your missing. And then you actually get to know her, both in her actions throughout the main game, and what you learn from Lillie and Gladion. Going with what I said before, I do think Lusamine is a woman defined by trauma ( honestly, as he rest of the aether family is), but also someone who is still very cruel to those around her, a stark contrast to how she appeared before. And all of that is still conveyed through her bangs. Hiding one eye, but not fully, her bangs acting as a hood that cast a shadow over her face....it's really good!

Gladion is a similar story: a kid who has been traumatized by the loss of his father and the cruelty of his mother bc of that loss. Unlike Lusamine, his hair fully covers his eye, with you only being able to see it from the side. Again, it's a good way of showing his personality: someone who has something to hide, someone who more than what you think, someone who is possibly hurting. But what makes his hair special to me, is that it really cements the idea that Gladion is an emo ass teen who wants to look cool. If I'm remembering correctly, Gladion's rips in his clothes where done himself? And between the posing and the clothes, you cannot tell me that Gladion thought the hair covering one eye wouldn't be the coolest thing ever. That he would look so cool and mysterious. But, to not bully him too much, I can also see his hair as a slight defiance towards his mom? I dunno how he used to look when he was young, but given how Lusamine pretty much controlled how he and Lillie used to dress, I can imahine the freedom of Gladion being able to do fuck all with his own hair. Though, ironically, if his hair wasn't always covering his eye ( quickly checked the pokeani to see if that was the case and it wasn't! both of his eyes where visible), it would have made him and his mom more similar design wise.

What I said about Gladion, can be said for Arven too, tbh. Hidden past, hidden personality ( as in he's a sweetheart), lot's of trauma- the whole package. I will say, it's particularly funnier with Arven, bc at least Gladion tries to look intimidating and still kinda acts like how you would expect him too. But Arven is so insistent that he isn't sweet and nice even though he very much is. His tough guy act is actively failing lmao. Fucking dork.

And I know, I know there's Cynthia and Volo, but I think you guys would get the point already lol. Though I think Cynthia is pretty funny too. Her bangs are definitely there to make her look mysterious, and she is, but what's hidden is that she's actually a lil goofy. At least in the anime she is. And she's pretty disorganized, which is something you don't expect a woman like her to be at first glance. Honestly, she's a very funny subversion of expectations here lol.

[milchig-de]

HEAVY METAL??!!

Pairing: Class 1A x reader (platonic)

Request:  Hello!! I was wondering if you could do a request where it's a platonic class 1A x reader, and they're always like super soft and cute, and one day they're cooking on the doorms while everyone else is out together or smth, and when they get back they find the reader listening to music like heavy metal while cooking? Srry if it's too specific and thank u!💛

Warning: None!

Notes: my headcanons are,,, very not orderly and you know, maybe that’s okay. sometimes that’s just how it is (i do apologize at the anon who requested it, i hope you like it anyway!)

s h o o k 

they come home from a class shopping which you didn’t want to join in order to avoid buying too much cute stuff (you couldn’t really hold back when you saw something cute, your heart just goes doki doki)

so you were all alone and when it was nearing dinner you decided to cook for them! because you are a nice person!! and since you were alone you figured you could listen to your music on FULL VOLUME since it couldn’t disturb anyone

so you did.

the only problem with that is that you’re more of a pastel soft uwu person

and,,, you listen to heavy metal and emo music (im talking my chemical romance, fall out boy.. you get me)

which didn’t match your personality at all so naturally they’re all shocked

Kirishima and Mina start bombarding you with excited questions

they!! just!! want!! to!! know!!

Bakugou pulls them away and (after washing his hands and disinfecting and stuff) starts helping you cooking

he doesn’t really say anything but don’t you dare turn it off he will smack your hand away don’t test him

Jirou, Tokoyami and Shouto just,, vibe

i know Shouto sounds unlikely but he’s ~mentally unstable~ so this is absolutely his cup of tea

Izuku just starts scribbling in his notebook just in case

this would be even funnier if you had like a rather ‘dark’/scary quirk like turning into a gigantic monster or smth bc then it would mirror your quirk and what if everyone’s interests mirrored their quirks-

a n y w a y

mineta might bring a dumb comment

“i bet you’re like this in bed too if you know what i mean” cue him getting slapped by someone

in the end Iida ushers them out of the kitchen bc you haven’t yet finished cooking and you really don’t need many people on your back (only Bakugou stays bc he’s helping you. Why? you always help him cooking and you’re pretty good so he returns the favour, the boy does have manners in him after all)

they get a little curious at dinner tho and ask you if you have other unexpected interests

you entertain them by answering honestly (you’re still babey) but they realize you’re still kind of though, even with your soft interior

respect +100

you also gained some unlikely friends

(everyone liked you before already but i mean like,, close friends)

“[flower or sparkles] okay so what are we doing today uwu?” -you

“dark shadow suggests hanging out in the skater park with music blasting but i personally feel like we should go to that antique shop” -tokoyami

“oh you mean that one where the doors creak and there’s skulls being sold plus cobwebs everywhere and the owner looks like a wrinkly old man who hasn’t truly been alive since 1624? i went to that yesterday and actually bought you both something so i root for skaterpark :)”

“oh, thank you! then yeah it’s alright with me

“works for me!” -Jirou

[luminous-shifting-vibes]

*sequel* to actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server

once again, it's out of context because x1000 funnier

also x1000 longer than previous post

"ur satan is gnc af"

"Bestie I’m already having gender envy over a fucking demon please"

"O_O ODEPIJHFbavevisdpvfhzdcnjawedsidjksjdkoeirjfmkdsoeirujdksodifjndmksoidfjdksidfj ITS" NOT IN MY FRAFTS IS SPEDNT 1 hour PN THAT SHIT"

"AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"ohoho sexy"

"I am very proud of myself"

"himbo x edgy fuck"

"YOU COULD SQUISH HES CHEECKS"

"he has teefs"

"SQUASH"

"good for biting 📷"

"he's a himbo basically"

"B͂̒̄iͫ̍̈tͧ̓ͯè̄̇"

"bifth"

"i havent watched blue exorcist in years but mr okumura my beloved </3"

"MY LIFE QUESTIONS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED"

"is it important information to mention that the person i put up for my turn is the son of satan" "I know like 1 thing about everyone who isnt ranboo lmfao"

"crimes"

"tumblr sexyman"

"idk why but my first thought was cowboy onceler"

"I vibe with him but he is very long and twisty"

"steampunk e-girl"

"steampunk tumblr sexyman"

"Canonically bi crimelord I agree!!"

"OOO FRIEND SHAPED"

"ARTIST SIGHTED"

"they look like someone i would want to be friends with but is way cooler than me so i'd never actually talk to them"

"babby..... would die for him"

"honestly i probably kin him"

"i'm sure he's lovely but he looks way too much like my ex i'm sorry-"

"i'd be down for another rotation! i have another twink to show y'all"

"Also :00 blonde friend"

"Let us all infodhmo"

"Hsjagdvbs shhh im on phone"

"Nix woukd you like to joon?

"skitters away"

"I have two braincells and they both drink dumb bitch juice"

"oof wait whats the order again i have 0 memory"

"i want to bond with him over cosplay-"

"Awkwardly watches in band kid"

"One day I'm gonna a broadway star"

"which isnt to say they were bad. they were just fortnite dancing during rehersals"

"I threw it so hard my glasses flew off and slid under the stage right divider"

"anyway heres my boi"

"emo"

"haha emo"

"virgil sanders kinnie"

"he looks like he listens to my chemical panic at the fallout boy"

"Bro I bet he'd kick my ass with his deck"

"bird man my beloved"

"fuck i had so much to say and then i forgot it all"

"Birds!!"

"guiguhuh"

"crabrave"

"She sounds like someone I would end up stealing her personality"

"yess name collector gang"

"alias glass aiden haven absinthe fish brick rice"

"But I have Cypress, Remure, Genesis, Lemres, and Comet"

"And she's named after a mars candy bar bc alien"

"Hey, if plato went by plato, you can be king thief"

"im not dissing my gramma like that shfojd"

"My dad has seven legal names" "bitches be like *looks at fictional character* *steals their name* it's us we're bithces"

"coraline lowkey traumatized me but i adore it regardless"

"mmmmmm magic man :]"

"°0° green man"

"criminal (affectionate)"

"he would shoplift a candy bar from walmart and then brag to all of his friends about the sick stealing he did"

"despite the fact he's canonically been capable of overpowering a minor deity"

"i would commit so many crimes for him"

"Very babey"

"Yes please tell green man he is very pog"

"he also keeps a lot of dumb secrets"

"but I will sorely miss the chaos and energy of this here chat until I wake again" (by request XD)

"i just say words and if they're funny then they're funny"

"* or extremly chaotic either works"

"at this point we are just taking turns rambling"

"oH--"

"bc my brain has a schedule"

"Hopefully they have gyoza there or I will lose my mind"

"hehe yes spooky man"

"my ghost glucose guardian"

"the head of the undead group that lives there, and we end up dating. (yes I date a ghost, no I will not be taking constructive criticism /lh)"

"ghosts r just inherently sexy"

"i mean im becoming a squid thing so"

"Raven quirk raven quirk!!"

"ł â m p"

"łæmp"

"mothman: ooh lamp you look very nice today! do you come here often? mothman: wait shit no"

"I'd date a ghost"

"mine is still accurate, i am still sobbing (/j)"

"p e e p e e"

""@nick wilde is a tumblr sexyman" is the best thing i have ever seen"

"im sorry im cackling like a dying hyena"

"you're all 12 year olds"

"PEENIE"

"He once caused global warming on accident so he could get a tan"

"god, what a himbo. i love him"

"that reminds me of my friends kin assigned me jesus"

"Man outside of battle be like: princely crying but then in battle hes like: "CATACLYSM! DISASTER! DEVASTATION!" Chill out man"

"Every time I talk about satan it never fails to shock people it's my favorite thing to do"

"im kin assigning him roman sanders" ""Oh yeah he caused global warming because he wanted to get girls" "he what""

"oh damn i forgot satan was straight"

"twink appreciation club"

"give us the twinks"

"my first thought was bottom-"

"so many people to try and get his dad to love him"

"daddy issued"

"OH MY GOD ITS WILBUR"

"Big boy but"

"anyways janus is swagggg"

"........................."

"gib twink"

"give twink then i will share"

"holds him gentle like hamburger"

"This dumb bitch opened a book that said "do not open" and got possessed by a little bastard"

"he is. fragile creachur"

"klug is beauty klug is grace i would let him step on my face"

"If I'm playing swap and I have to hear one more "Pwanet Powew" Im gonna lose it"

"Who is to blame? Pandora or the box?"

"Bakugo isnt my type but I respect the drip"

"i say like my type isnt long-haired pretty boys and girls that look so gnc that people have a history of confusing them for men"

"hes a gremlin and i can appreciate a pretty gremlin"

"that is to say i am attracted to VFlower vocaloid. This is a confession."

"note i am a lesbian"

"You may like Schezo wegey"

"why does he have one single expression"

"soul soul eater passes the vibe check"

"magic wand"

"I Want To Hold His Hand"

"i would commit a war crime for him any war crime idc which one"

"my favorite one is when he sounded rlly gay because he said "Muscular bodies keep me satisfied""

"p e a n u t"

"Klug is a homophobic homosexual its just facts"

"grug from the croods is peak male performance"

"jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair Ahem, you look very lovely."

"tag yourself im the fireworks shooting from the top of the head"

"i like essays"

"central time gang"

"11:11 pog-" (wait... is that a suprise angel number?? yes it is lovelies just for you <3)

"Then again im also a dumbass bitch who wonders what the souls in soul eater taste like. SERIOUSLY THOUGH. THEY LOOK TASTY AS HELL!!!! LIKE GODDAMN BRO YOU'RE MAKING ME FUCKING HUNGRY. Like. that shit- it's Bone Apple motherfucking Teeth. hell yea my guy. Im hongy now.... shlorp I'm seriously considering this. Like. They seem kinda like a liquid? But a solid? Are they like jello? The fuck they taste like my guy???? I keep imagining they're like sour, like sour candy maybe? Or do they taste salty? Sweet? Maybe some combo of two? Do they even have a taste or is it about the texture? The sensation? God my mouth is watering what the hell. I am starving. I think I need to go get a cookie. I'm gonna go get a cookie. Brb. I'm better. I'm still craving souls though. Which is a weird-ass cringey thing to say but I'm being dead-ass rn. They just.... look tasty???? And I wanna eat one. Thus. I am shifting to Soul Eater for the express purpose of satisfying my fucking cravings. enjoy"

"points were made"

"jello? more like helloooo schloooAHFJDSDAIDWNALDHSJKDAIDANDM"

"WAIT I THINK I HAVE AN ANIME GIRL BITING VIDEO TOO"

"anime girl voice: mmm! mm... ahhhhmp!! mmm, mmm... aaahmp!"

"i think it sounds great i'm going to start eating like that"

"several people are typing"

"do these look edible to you"

"forbidden gummies"

"when I was on lsd I couldn't eat my fruit gummies because I thought they were alive because they had little faces on them"

"oh shit yeah don't do drugs"

"anyways general consensus is puyos are edible, ty for your input everyone"

"everypony is a word so powerful it can bring nations to its knees"

"pls the self control it's taking me not to say "hewwo everypony" in gen chat when someone new joins-"

"hewwo evewrypony uwu deaw cewestia i hopwe it doewsnt wain owo"

"ive cooked up a sowution wiwth the knowwege ive acwued. they say a kitcwen time saves niwne, but im just savwing two. Ive gathewwed the inwedients to make a time sowbet. Thewe's hawdly woom fow seconds when the seconds mewt away."

"I had a ten year old sister... you know what happened to her??? very sad, very tragic... she turned eleven....."

"NIIICE"

"Guts dont say the secks word :( /j"

"watch your fucking language in front of the president"

"im so sorry lumi"

"i think you're like ehhhh 8/10 funny"

"now me???? 10/10. Hilarious"

"sometimes i have to take a step back and remember that this is the same guts i follow on tumblr /lh"

""ok every here's some good shifting advice!!! uwu have a good day" "yeah i did lsd and ate fruit gummies""

"i have one setting and it's whatever this is"

"my bitch ass cat just pushed the door open with his fuzzy face and now my sleeping dad is being lulled into dreams by Cosmo Sheldrake's 'Pliocine'."

"me on discord: nick wilde"

"me on tumblr: shifting water! haha funne! me on here: my hermit crabs are cannibals also i want to eat souls."

"im sorry yOUR VIBESA RE JUST SO DIFFERNT"

"u give off older cousin ive never spoken to but always admire at the family gatherings vibes"

"what the fuck"

"BC I HAVE LIBERTU"

"If you adopt me then yes"

"am I qualified for dad jokes???"

"we're all a lot smarter on tumblr"

"I'm like "awww... sweet... sweet little shiftlings... posting such sweet shiftling content... so pure, so wholesome... does not even know abcs....""

"can't think before you speak if you never think B)"

"I'm not responsible enough to be a mom"

"cat pet"

"show us pictures of the cat or i will do Crime"

"maybe thats me being a coward tho"

"MOTH!!!! MOTH MY BELOVED"

if y'all want I can make this a series bc shiftblr keeps giving me more content

[skarletterambles]

Mummy re-(re-re-re-)watch blog

Because sometimes self-care is rewatching your favorite movie for the first time in many years, I’m currently enjoying The Mummy (1999) on a nice big flat screen TV and eating pizza.  Life is good.

Random thoughts typed while watching (so expect typos) below...

[Disclaimers:  Obviously, this post contains massive spoilers for a 20-year-old movie, if anyone actually needs to be told that.  There are spoilers for The Mummy Returns, as well.  Also, I’m an unapologetic Imhotep fangirl so don’t expect me to talk about him like he’s some kind of villain.  That’s just silly!  Ahem.  I have the hots for Rick and Ardeth, too, though, so the drool will be spread out a bit.]

..............................

Imhotep’s priests really got the raw end of the deal.  They were just there to watch the door and make sure nobody interrupted their boss’ booty call, and they ended up witnessing regicide and then getting mummified alive.  Dang.

I bet the noise of the battle with all those horses and guns above him irritated Imhotep.  No wonder he sent sand jets up to scare away Rick and the others.  Damn kids, get off my lawn--er, necropolis!

Honestly, the havoc Evy wreaked on her library only made it look slightly worse than my workplace this summer.  :p  At least she didn’t have to worry about DVD shelving...  [Only I get this reference, but trust me, to me it’s hilarious, in a “if I don’t laugh I’ll cry” kind of way.]

Rick is damn good-looking when he’s all bedraggled and beat up, and even better looking when he cleans up.  The look on Evy’s face when she sees him after a haircut and a change of clothes, well... Same, girl.  Same.

Beni is one of my favorite comic relief characters of all time.

The Med-Jai wouldn’t have threatened Evy on the boat if they knew she was the reincarnation of their long-dead boss’ daughter.  I’m picturing Seti in the afterlife facepalming...

I had forgotten how hostile and scary the Med-Jai were at first.

It’s amazing how much of the dialogue comes back to me, though.  Even throwaway background lines like Jonathan complaining about the price of the camels.

Evy’s sheer joy over everything camel-related is so freaking adorable.

That first chitter of scarab beetles...my least favorite part of the movie.  Heh.

I can just imagine Imhotep in his sarcophagus, feeling the first hint of movement around him in over 3,000 years, and then freaking out as his sarcophagus falls through the ceiling and goes THUMP on the ground.  And then there’s screaming and everyone leaves.  He’d be like, WTF?

“He must have been someone of great importance...or someone who did something very naughty.”  Both correct, Evy...

It’s so not fair that Ardeth can be that drop-dead sexy-looking and have such a sexy voice.

And here’s that “I...AM A LIBRARIAN!” line that everyone in my line of work loves so much.  Heehee...

Mummy:  *bursts out of sarcophagus* Evy:  “Gah, I hate it when these things do that!” LMAO

Of course Imhotep scratched “Death is only the beginning” into the inside of his sarcophagus lid like a bored emo kid in study hall.

“If you dry that fella out you might be able to sell ‘im for firewood!”  As I’m sure the writers knew, they actually did burn mummies to fuel trains back in less enlightened times.  And grind them up for medicine and paint and all kinds of stupid, disrespectful things.

I love how they refer to Imhotep as “our friend” and “our guy” when they’re discussing how horrible his curse was.  That sympathy fades quickly enough once they meet him, though.

“Probably got a little too frisky with the Pharaoh’s daughter.”  No, Rick, that’s you.  Bwahahahaha!

“No harm ever came from reading a book.”  Evy, you’re a librarian.  You should know better.

Poor Imhotep must have been so stiff after not moving for a few thousand years. I bet he had to do some stretches before he went looking for people to drain life force from.

Forecast for today:  mostly sunny with a 90% chance of locust plague.

Gotta love Imhotep’s one-track mind.  Woke up for the first time in 3k years, just regained sight and speech, and the first freaking thing he does is assume the first woman he sees is Anck-su-Namun.  Because of course he does.

I wonder if Ardeth got any backlash from the rest of the Med-Jai for giving the interlopers a chance to leave Hamunaptra.  If he had just slaughtered them all the previous night, none of this mess would have happened.

“He will never eat.  He will never sleep.  He will never stop.”  Awwwwwyeah.

Because he looks so rotted, Imhotep looks threatening as he slowly advances on Beni, but if he was fully regenerated I bet his expression would have been confused and even slightly amused at Beni’s religious roulette, something along the lines of “WTF is this idiot doing?”

Imhotep, did you really need to wear a mask to meet a blind guy?  (I know, I know, he needed the disguise to get through the hotel, but it’s still funny.)

He was even polite enough to thank Evy for saving him from undeath.  What a nice mummy!

Med-Jai discussing Imhotep and Anck-su-Nam:  “Even after 3,000 years, he’s still in love with her.” Evy:  “Well, that’s all very romantic, but...” Me:  “Yes.  Yes it is.  Shut up.”

“You came back from the desert with a new friend, didn’t you, Beni?”  One of my all-time favorite lines, and one I randomly quoted to my late goldfish, Benny, many times over the years.  LOL

Couldn’t Beni have found some better clothes for Imhotep to wear?  Those ragged robes make him look like a beggar.  Although considering he was running around in nothing but a few wisps of rotten bandages before, they couldn’t afford to be choosy.

The casual way Imhotep chews that scarab beetle that crawled into his mouth is such a power move.  LMAO

The longing in his voice as he whispers Anck-su-Namun’s name almost makes up for the fact that he kissed Evy right afterward.  I know you’re impatient to get your girlfriend back, man, but control yourself.  :p

Another classic bit: Evy, trying to translate hieroglyphics:  “Patience is a virtue!” Rick, looking at incoming torch-bearing mob:  “Not right now it isn’t!”

The crowds chanting “Im-ho-tep” are so iconic, and the way they part to let him pass gives me shivers.

“It’s the creature!”  Thanks for the reminder, as he’s now fully regenerated and looking damn fine.

OMG that little smirk Imhotep gives to Rick as he turns to walk away with Evy...  Imhotep isn’t stupid.  He can see Rick’s in love with her.

Ardeth wearing that flight cap and goggles, grinning as he rides on the plane’s wing, is the funniest damn thing in the movie.  It’s such a departure from his usual demeanor, which is what makes it work so well from a comedic perspective.

Why did Imhotep stop the sand vortex so far from Hamunaptra?  He could have deposited himself, Beni, and Evy on the doorstep, but instead he stopped on the other end of the valley.  I mean, sure, it gives plenty of room for the famous sand wall attack scene, but it was still weird.

Evy:  “Stop it!  You’ll kill them!” Beni:  “That’s the idea.” Well...YEAH!

Beni to Imhotep:  “I loved the, uh, sand wall trick, it was beautiful.  Bastard.”  That’s funny enough, and then you remember that Imhotep doesn’t understand English, and it’s even funnier.  Stop trying to brown-nose a man who doesn’t speak your language, Beni!

The whole Winston subplot always seemed so pointless.  Just deus ex machina to get the airplane in there.  Honestly, that’s my only complaint about the movie.

Yeah, Imhotep, you had better bow back when your newly-risen priests bow to you.  You owe them big time after the shitstorm you dragged them into.

OMG Ardeth is even more gorgeous in the glow of gold artifacts.  Heehee...

And then some of Imhotep’s priests barely rise from the ground before being mowed down by machine gun fire.  Damn, they get the short end of the stick every time, don’t they?

One second I’m like, “Oh hai Anck.  You need to moisturize better, lawl,” and then the next Imhotep strokes her face with such tenderness and whispers her name and I’m like, “Awwwww!”  That’s what’s so much fun about these movies.  There’s the silly, campy fun intertwined with actually poignant, emotional moments, in perfect balance.

I just noticed that Anck-Su-Namun’s reaction to being resurrected both in the prologue and later as a mummy was the same gasp and fluttering of her hands over her collarbone.  Neat detail.

There’s this little glimmer of “Whoa, cool, I did that!” sometimes when Imhotep uses his powers.  It’s adorable.  (Yes, I just called an undead plague-bringer summoning mummified soldiers to kill his enemies “adorable.”  I warned you in the disclaimer.)

I love how Anck-su-Namun’s first response when waking up was to try to beat the crap out of Evelyn/Nefertiri.  Old habits die hard, y’know.  She was probably disappointed that her opponent didn’t remember the old ways of combat...yet.

I hate that poor Imhotep had to watch the love of his life be killed in silhouette twice.

And again he promises, “Death is only the beginning.”

Then it’s time for one last moment of Ardeth being hot beyond all reason, some Rick and Evy kisses, Jonathan getting a face full of camel breath, and a happy ending for at least those four characters.  ;)

The end...for now!

[secretagentspydetectiveninja]

Rewatching Syren

The little mermaid is my favourite ondertale episode

What kind of dystopia do these poor Parisians live in where stuff like this is happening even when there aren’t akuma attacks going on??? ignore Pocahontas in the corner okay that’s just the Disney Channel thing, the sequel sucks anyway

Uh just a warning. So, I know in these rewatching ml posts I always harp on about Kimax this, Kimax that, Kimax Kimax Kimax. But the truth is that after 2 seconds of seeing Ondine onscreen I already wanted her to marry Kim so be prepared for me screeching over Kimdine a lot in this thing okay, I am TRASH and I’m not even sorry about it

How much do you wanna bet Kim has broken every single one of these rules multiple times

HE PINNED HIS TOWEL TO HIS SHOULDERS LIKE A CAPE, HE’S SUCH A DORK I LOVE HIM???

I love Ondine so much too, she’s basically buff freckly Ariel and she’s so cute oh my god freckles for days

Okay so the sign’s in a bunch of different languages and I’m 99% sure Kim has ignored it many, many times

He didn’t put his goggles on when he went underwater, and actually neither of their swimming caps cover all their hair ugh they’re both disasters, I love them

She’s BLUSHING and everything how does Kim not notice this??? He’s all like “oh that boy you like must be so dumb lol” well yeah Kim, yeah HE IS

Can I gush for a second about Ondine’s design?? They actually made her look like a swimmer, like with big shoulders and arms everything, and she’s fairly tall, and she’s got freckles everywhere (at least 40 on her face alone, I counted) and thick eyebrows and it all just makes her super GORGEOUS like yes can we get more character designs like these please?? (And KIM OH MY GOD LOOK AT YOU you’ve got it bad and you don’t even realize skdjfhksjdhkj)

Oh btw Ondine’s bracelet is 023 and Kim’s is 024, in case you wanted some useless information

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: we, as a fandom, are sleeping on the fact that Kim can stick his toe in his ear and that Ondine thinks it’s cute and this is actually a canon thing that is canon

He even passes her the notebook with his feet?? Sometimes I wonder what she sees in him but then I remember I want to adopt him so like, there must be something

Reason #3274598347 why Kimdine are a great couple: they really must trust each other a hell of a lot considering they literally have a game where they spill their secrets to each other, like, they’re already close friends and know so much about each other and oh okay I may be using this rewatching post to just gush about my fav underrated canon otp oops

He still likes Chloé at this point? Really?? Really??? (And he’s just gonna casually leave the pool before knowing for sure that the animal attack is over? I guess he just expects to be able to outrun those panthers huh)

SHE EVEN DREW HEARTS ON IT AND EVERYTHING, THAT’S SO ADORABLE??? KIM PLEASE NOTICE HER OKAY I WILL PERFORM THE MARRIAGE CEREMONY MYSELF

In the English dub at this point he literally calls her a “little mermaid”, huh maybe that Pocahontas icon in the corner isn’t totally irrelevant after all (also he implies this is nowhere near the first time Ondine has tried to confess her feelings, so basically Kim can join Adrien in the “she’s just a friend” club)

RENA’S BAAAAAAACK AHHH I AM SO HAPPY TO SEE HER AGAIN, ALYA GETS TO BE A HERO AGAIN AND I’M SO PROUD

That eyeliner

Grumpy Chat gives me life okay, it’s so funny to me for some reason

Uh... it’s not just me who thinks Rena looks really, really pale, is it?

Alya just straight-up flirts with Ladybug, she’s not even being subtle

WHEN ONDINE CRIES I CRY

The lifeguard doesn’t even wait a second when Syren turns up, he just starts running, what a mood

MARKOV IS BACK!!! MY LIL ROBOT BABY!!! And Max too, I’m always glad to see him

I genuinely want to watch Mecha Monkey vs Cyber Shark 3 though

Kim’s hair really Did That

Question: did Markov need a ticket?

Look at Kim in the background being sad that Chloé didn’t show up omg

Tfw the guy you like is so oblivious that you cry enough to flood an actual city

WHY ARE ALL KWAMIS ALWAYS SO ADORABLE *flips table*

I’m actually really proud of Marinette, she’s been put into such a tough situation where she wants to tell Chat Noir the truth but isn’t allowed, and she’s trying to do something to change that because she trusts him and understands his frustration

Mmmmm cronchy

This lil elephant decor got me thinking, how cool would an elephant miraculous be?

This poor boy is just sitting alone being emo when he’s attacked by the floods

HNSDFJSHDNFJSHDF I’M NOT OVER THIS

I’m not Plagg or anything but that stuff genuinely sounds really good okay

My little brother’s reaction to Plagg hyperventilating into a sock was “big mood” and honestly? Tea

CLASSMATES!!! Nino getting a slight amount of screentime!! Good stuff

What’s Max up to? “Psst Markov, do you think Kim will ever love me?” He looks sad okay I wanna give him a hug

Ah yes, my favourite companies, “Cinema Productions” and “Film Studio”

Alya clinging onto Nino!!!

An interesting thing is that while Syren is one of the nicest (if not THE nicest) akuma villains, I’m pretty sure she has the highest death toll by far. Tidal waves and mass flash-flooding in a major city?? Thousands and thousands of people have gotta be dead and you know it, like imagine if she’d accidentally killed Kim too, that would have been awkward

Marinette and Alya being heroes and making sure everyone got out okay omg, they’re heroes even without the mask

There really are not many survivors up on these rooftops, are there...

Kim is just on another level of Iconic entirely??? Paris is flooded with his future bae’s tears and he puts on a swimming cap and goggles (which he doesn’t use) and immediately leaps into the water, and then tells Markov (who is a tiny robot and allergic to water) to learn to swim like a frog, what even goes through his brain

THEIR FACES AKJFHKSDJHFSKJDHKG

*dun dun dun dun dun dun DUN DUN DUN DUN*

“KIIIIIIIIIIIIIM!!!!” Here is the mandatory Kimax part of the rewatching post -- Max is so worried for Kim??? He’s the first one to react and the only one to like, properly react??? Ugh my multishipper heart

The fact that Alix went to look means either she does at least slightly care about Kim, or she’s just super hyped to watch him drown, and I’m not sure which is funnier tbh she’s so fake though unlike Alya she just stands there not even trying to look

Me trying to row anything, ever

Alix has one single line in the entire episode and as usual, it’s the BEST line

*physically restrains myself from making a Shape of Water reference because it’s been done so many times by now*

My small brother laughs a lot at this scene because he says it reminds him of the time Chat Noir put a bowl on Prince Ali’s head and now I can’t unsee it

This hurts me in my soul okay, she wants to tell him but she caaaaaan’t

Huh, Fu managed to get a lot of stuff up on the roof with him, how’d he have time for that?

Lemme just cover my nonexistent ears for a sec

The best thing about this scene is that all the jokes Marinette tells aren’t even funny, I’m honestly cackling with laughter

AQUATIKKI. AQUATIC. I ONLY JUST GOT THAT OMG

Also?? These new costumes??? I love them holy moly

Fu has cobra venom... bro... listen I researched that stuff for a certain fic and uh you don’t want that stuff lying around, trust me, it is NOT A PLEASANT WAY TO GO

I know my first reaction to this should not be laughter, but it’s just so funny seeing Adrien being bratty for once okay this is g r e a t, ah yes Paris being FLOODED and UNDER ATTACK is a very good time to take off your ring

Heartfelt Plagg!!! I love him

So uh... if Kim is Syren’s prince... does that make him... Prince Kim... AHEM ANYWAYS that throne she made for him is so cute and I can’t believe he doesn’t even care that he got kidnapped by an akuma villain ‘cause hey, it’s a hot shredded mermaid therefore Kim’s a scalie and it’s CANON

So he’s all like “I’ve never seen a siren at the pool before??” which means that 1. He doesn’t realize she’s an akuma villain, he just genuinely thinks she’s a siren who actually lives in Paris, and 2. he knows what a siren is and doesn’t put 2+2 together that this particular siren has chosen him as prey and is luring him into staying underwater with her forever

I legit think about this scene every single day. The writers were probably like “okay so we need a mermaid episode, which kid in the class would be most likely to be seduced by a m-- KIM. IT WOULD BE KIM.” He’s just realized this freckly fish is Ondine and that she’s in love with him and just... hhhh I have a lot of feels it’s like 1am okay

He wants to be a merman so that he can swim fast, that’s so Kim of him I’m in tears omg, Syren doesn’t even care she’s just being a creepy fish with 100 freckles on her face (I counted) tempting him into staying with her at whatever cost

Asjdhskdjhfksjd he KNOWS she’s an akuma villain and still wants to kiss her?? Well to be fair Ondine’s evil yandere mersona is very pretty and Kim never really uses his brain for thinking, so... yeah

“Okay so I want to kiss u but I also wanna watch this movie DO U SEE MY DILEMMA” I love his reasoning so much

My exact reaction on seeing Ladybug’s new outfit

Look how happy she is to see Chatfish in his new costume!! Bless them both tbh, I’m a lil sad we didn’t get to see Aqua-Plagg though, how amazing would that have been

Kim geeking out over their costumes is not only such a mood but also it’s adorable and oh shoot I ship him with Ladybug too, I have too many Kim ships I swear

HE LOOKS SO SAD WHEN HE’S TALKING ABOUT HOW ONDINE GOT AKUMATIZED?? I’m like 99% sure at this point he’s realized he likes her too and probably feels so bad about unknowingly causing her to be upset enough to get akumatized omg my HEART okay I should stop endlessly gushing over Kimdine now shouldn’t I

“You wanna know my secret???” Okay wait, was he... was he about to stick his toe in his ear in front of Ladybug

Oooh do French numberplates actually do this thing? like, have numbers on top of each other like that? That’s pretty interesting

I work at a doctor’s surgery and I can tell you now, even Master Fu’s handwriting is more legible than half the stuff I have to decipher written by those darn doctors

ERBAL EDARIUM

I wonder what would happen if Tom actually ate one of those

You gotta love how unsubtle that Frozer foreshadowing is

For the first time in the episode, she’s actually wearing her goggles!

The fact that he asks her out?? Using their secrets game?? Is just so sweet?? They just care about each other so much look at them?? Ugh just get married already you freaking scalie disaster jocks

I know Nathalie’s sorting out a schedule but it kiiiinda looks like she’s playing Tetris lol

UHHH HEY MASTER FU?? QUICK QUESTION, WHAT DID YOU DO TO ADRIEN’S CHINESE TUTOR?? HE’S NOT... SLEEPING WITH THE FISHES... IS HE?

YEAH ME TOO ADRIKINS, I’M HELLA SUSPISH

On the one hand Gabe yelling at Nooroo makes me want to punch him, but on the other hand he’s literally asking outright how to become a mermaid

THERE’S AQUA-PLAGG!! YES!!! I know this end card was more cringey originally and they changed it, but it’s still cringey ngl

(And idk where else to put this but fun fact: there’s a Septimus Heap book called Syren and it’s rly good, it doesn’t have any fishybugs and chatfish in it but it’s good)

[shadowtearling]

DECEMBER 2018 — We made it! December is over, 2018 is over, and it has been a year. Before I post all my year in review posts (there’s quite a number lmao be prepared), let’s first talk about all the books I read this month. I enjoyed a lot all of them, which is nice.

The Buried Giant by Kazuo Ishiguro

I knew nothing about this book when I went into it, so it was a pleasant surprise to meet Sir Gawain during the couple’s travels. It’s a quiet novel exploring the dangers of forgetting and the pain of remembering. The ending is exactly where you think it would go, and I was sad about it.

The Subtle Knife & The Amber Spyglass by Philip Pullman

I’m trying not to insult myself because it’s a new year and I need to try something new, so I’ll say that this series was mind boggling and definitely something that I need to reread in the future. If you look at how I feel about the books individually, I’d say I was disappointed about all of them. Book one took forever for me to get used to, book two felt lackluster because Lyra’s presence wasn’t as prominent (and she’s why I loved the first book so much), and then book three had a whole chapter on how a certain species worked which I thought was entirely unnecessary (nor was the ending satisfying). But as one unit? It’s great. It gave me so much to think about and got me attached to unexpected characters. Lyra is near and dear to my heart.

The Refrigerator Monologues by Catherynne M. Valente

If I read this physically, I really don’t think I would have gotten past Julia Ash’s story just because Valente’s writing can get overly complicated at times. However, once you get used to it, it’s easier to understand and enjoy the stories. This is a set of six call out posts for the men of comics who use women to further their story. Knowing who Valente was talking about isn’t really necessary because she crafts enough of her own superhero world that things still make sense, but when you know, it’s funnier. I loved the Batman and Aquaman shade.

Hunted by Meagan Spooner

Listen. Listen. I love Beauty and the Beast. This was no exception. The writing was great, though there were times that it felt a little repetitive. I think the Beast’s perspective was extremely interesting and because it was always so short, it helped propel the story forward and get you to turn the page again and again. (I also like the blood splatters). I love the fantasy world of the Beast, which is why it’s a shame that so little is known about it beyond what Yeva sees. Speaking of Yeva, girl was a whole dumbass. She never thought to put two and two together while she was captive and honestly that was the most common sense knowledge that I was astounded at how stupid she was. I still liked her despite that. This is very traditional Beauty and the Beast, and I enjoyed it a lot.

Sea Prayer by Khaled Hosseini

This is a very short but powerful poem. I read it twice and cried. The watercolor illustrations were beautiful. I don’t have much to say. It was good, and all author profits for the book go directly to a charity helping the refugees.

A Crown of Wishes by Roshani Chokshi

GAURI AND VIKRAM GAVE ME LIFE. I can’t begin to describe how much I loved this book (and how much better it was than its predecessor!). Firstly the two main characters are just so funny as individuals and together. The story was interesting and more compelling. Gauri’s intimacy issues were hashtag relatable. The writing was still extremely flowery, and sometimes the characters did things that weren’t previously hinted at (like "He didn’t take his hand off my back” but it was never mentioned earlier that he put it there in the first place). BUT the good outweigh the little nitpicky things I had about it. I put this off for so long because I thought I would have trouble with it, but the only trouble I had was putting it down to go to work. This was so good. Please.

Returning a Borrowed Tongue: An Anthology of Filipino and Filipino American Poetry edited by Nick Carbó

This is the poetry collection I never knew I needed. I’ve been writing emo kid poetry since I was in 5th grade as a coping mechanism for the trauma of assimilation that I was going through. To have a whole collection of voices that resemble my own and echo the very struggles I put out in the world back into my heart is indescribable. This collection gave me a lot to think about in terms of my culture and my language, and I even got to talk with my best friend about this very thing. We’re having a crisis about it. Most importantly, I was inspired to write more poetry that explores my personal struggle about staying connected to my roots and what it means to be Filipino. I can’t wait to read more and learn more in the future!

[keepyourpantsongohan]

Ayesha Liveblogs Naruto Shippuden S18

“I put the entire burden on you Naruto” The Entire Burden is a nickname for Sasuke and I love it

Team 7 protecting each other while still making time to flirt is my aesthetic

In terms of actually using all three members in a cohesive unit Team 10 has by far the best teamwork in their year

Episodes since Tenzo has been missing: 117!!!! FREE HIM

Sakura doesn’t trust Sasuke and that’s good because she has no reason to do so

“I’m over it” said Kakashi for the first time in his life ever

Poor Minato he is being traumatized even in the afterlife 

“That was anticlimactic” amazing that even in times of war Sasuke still finds time to be a bitch

What is this out of continuity Frankenstein episode

I THOUGHT FOR A SECOND OROCHIMARU BUILT A FAKE SASUKE

Sasuke walks away from the village just like he walks away from his emotional issues

I can already tell this two episode arc is going to be very stupid but I love it because I miss Tenzo and Neji 

This doesn’t make any sense because Asuma died while Naruto was training to learn the Rasenshuriken so Ino, Choji and Shikamaru should living their most tragic lives atm

I liked it better when Orochimaru was making a fake Sasuke 

Naruto’s two dramatic dads coming to the rescue 

“Don’t worry, it’s okay. This is where Kakashi and I used to come to make out,” said the Gay Subtext 

I can’t believe they’re taking Akamaru but not Kiba kgjhkjdfhgdkfjhgkh KAKASHI HAS EIGHT DOGS OF HIS OWN

So Kiba is coming though this party seems a little large for this kind of mission lmao

I’m not sure what’s funnier that Kakashi is still reading Makeout Paradise or that he has finally stuffed his team members inside a box for their own protection

Me @ those horrified Hokage faces: ....Same

“Wait, who’s holding the front? No one’s theeeeere” KAKASHI PLS

If the Gaara handshake and Kakashi piggyback are the best two minutes of anime I’ve ever seen then this was definitely the worst two minutes the rainbow vomit and Neji’s fall from the sky I will never recover

Naruto’s heart eyes @ Gaara: SAME X2

I guess even Gaara is vulnerable to his Fifteen Year Old Boy Pride

“He was with me earlier but he ditched me” Orochimaru sounds like Sasuke’s bitter girlfriend

REVERSE SNAKE DIGESTION AND OROCHIMARU’S GIGGLE I HAVE NO WORDS

ITACHI PLEASE why would you be so highkey about protecting your brother literally his forehead said “Itachi” I’m livid and yet I’m also living 

Gaara the Hidden Leaf is burning to the ground what kinda priorities 

Filler Sakura is much more into Naruto than Canon Tragic Trashbag-Loving Sakura

I never thought I’d be eager to get back to tragedy and yet here we are

“That Sasuke... he’s bright” Sasuke gets the dad approval and Itachi gave Naruto the older brother approval so I’m not saying you’re supposed to get married but that’s exactly what I’m saying  

Well that’s gross Obito

“Time for my Raijin Flash Super Circle Dance Howl Stage 3″ WHO LETS MINATO NAME THINGS

QUIT TRYING TO SEVER THE PAST SASUKE ALL TEAM 7 WANTS TO DO IS LOVE YOU

“He’s just like a snake” Well this is a perfect time for Sasuke Uchiha, Snake Expert

Yikes @ Minato watching Obito being swallowed by his flesh prison

For about ten seconds I was rooting for Obito to live for Minato and Kakashi’s sake but surprise surprise he continues to be the wooooOooOrst

Every time Sasuke wraps Naruto protectively in his Susano my heart swells three sizes 

“Here, you can have this back” bless you Tobirama

Temari is so supportive she is Team Shikamaru all the way

“Smiling? Both of them?” Sakura is shocked to hear Sasuke remembers how to smile

Tobirama is increasingly embarrassed by the Namikaze clan nerds

Minato is taking the blame onto himself for all that became of his comrades just as Kakashi does, like sensei like student

KURAMA GIVING MINATO INSPIRATIONAL SPEECHES FROM WITHIN IS MY AESTHETIC

Tomorrow is Naruto’s birthday and also his parents’ deathday what a yikes life

Minato has saved everyone in the world even after his own death my Namikaze boys I love them so much

“What kind of child-rearing led to this?” Kakashi and Iruka’s lmao

This outro is literally Naruto and Sasuke running to each other on a beach at sunset bless this homoerotic animation studio

“I know you’re not an idiot” do u know that Tobirama 

The real question is who is worse at dealing with emotional intimacy Sasuke or Kurama

Are you honestly still bitter about Naruto’s success Sasuke come on dude learn to adjust

381 Episodes into the series and the Sage of Six Paths gets a name 

At this point there are going to be like 100 Shinobi left in the whole world

Shikamaru doesn’t deserve this 

Can I just say I’m glad Kakashi is in the intro? Because it gives me hope that he will not be Tenzo’d in this arc

“He seems to be in a foul mood” when is Sasuke not in a foul mood

IS EVERYONE ON THE BATTLEFIELD GOING TO EXPERIENCE NARUTO’S LOVE FOR SASUKE I’M SCREAMING

This is a pretty shitty way for Hiruzen to find out his son died

Everyone is pissed off and inspired by all the pain that Naruto has been through

Current list of Sasuke’s titles: Bitch, snake expert and Smart Boi

Fhfkgjhsjghsdkjgh Hashirama is the most beautiful person dead or alive:

Tobirama: We’ll assign the Tailed Beasts based on power balance but you’re required to pay

Hashirama: [whispers loudly] They’re not free?

Tobirama: Shut it!

“A Shinobi’s Dream” is 10/10, inspirational and beautiful episode I love it

“There’s no one more qualified than me to be Naruto’s advisor” I mean that was very poetic Shikamaru but Kakashi is at least equally adept if not more so

KAKASHI JUST SUTURED HIS OWN STAB WOUND THIS MAN IS TRULY MY DREAM

Hiruzen bossing Orochimaru around makes me happy in a weird way

My girl Sakura protecting the whole Shinobi world with her sensei 

KAKASHI COME SAVE YOUR CHILDREN THIS IS YOUR BAT SIGNAL

Sasuke keeps encouraging Naruto to keep fighting and coming back to his side it’s adorable

Kakashi’s babies are back together and he’s getting the live feed god bless

Obito’s dream of just being a ninja in the Leaf was very depressing

This must be Kakashi and Minato’s dream I’ve never seen so much teamwork at once

Kakashi and Obito with Team 7 vkcjbhkjvhbjk oh my goodness my feelings

Tiny heartthrob Kakashi is adorable and I love him

So the reason Kakashi got placed on Team Minato is because he couldn’t play well with others oh my rude little boy

Obito’s struggles being late to everything are #relatable

This is so funny though because when Kakashi’s babies went to the Chunin exam he literally brought Sasuke in like hours late

“A guy’s gotta have a scar or two get some cred” but how many scars must Kakashi’s heart endure Obito

Lmao @ Tsunade calling “hold” for Team Minato to deal with their Emotional Issues

In all fairness to Kakashi, Minato, he did his fair share of lecturing before you arrived

What is it with these boys and sitting atop each other for minutes at a time while reliving their memories together

“I’ve thought that this world is hell too” Minato gets to hear about the burden Kakashi has been carrying for twenty years

“So that’s where Madara is” you’d think the giant wooden dragon would also be a give-away

I’m very concerned about Gaara but I’m proud of him for making peace with Shukaku

I don't know if Hinata's voice actor changed or if she forgot how to do young Hinata or if I forgot how she sounds but something seems odd

My boy Neji!!! I miss him so much

Why are the Hyuga like this I need reformation #JusticeForNeji

Hanabi discovers that her sister is a peeping tom at the age of 5

The fact that sunset on the beach ending is accompanied by the lyrics “I shouldn't love you, no, no, no” as Naruto and Sasuke meet this is truly the Gay Agenda

So many Naruto episodes are just retelling Part 1 events through different perspectives lmao 

Hanabi WHY ARE YOU HAVING A FLASHBACK ABOUT SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED TEN SECONDS AGO

I have so many feelings about Neji and Hinata like he is her Excessively Pretentious Older Brother why is his life so sad!!!! Revive him and let him uncle her babies 

“I want to choose my own path without being influenced by anyone else” all of your memories are about how Hinata was being influenced by Naruto Hanabi but I understand your sentiment 

I know this is supposed to be a recounting of a very serious moment but I can't stop laughing about Kakashi's five hour straddle of Obito like sensei like student

“You just lie there, okay?” Kakashi is so gentle with the friend he was just trying to murder  

“What's that?” Hashirama should really be more fazed about being a face titty on his bff

Black Zetsu is such a dick Kakashi and Minato don't deserve this 

Madara: Family reunion?

Sasuke: How about I kill you instead

Madara: Why does everyone I invite keep saying this 

Real talk how does Madara even know what Sasuke's eyes look like if he HAS NO EYES CURRENTLY

This episode is called "The Hidden Heart" and I hope it's a joke about Madara's heart being hidden under his Hashirama face titty

In a way the Tailed Beasts are all like bickering siblings

Nothing livens up a party like auto-cannibalism

Kakashi, three seconds after declaring possible victory: I failed

Gaara and Shukaku's friendship means the world to me we've come so far my tiny murder child

FLY SAND BOY FLY LIKE THE WIND

Hashirama, after witnessing Madara kill literally thousands of people: Madara is fundamentally kind

Tobirama is already pinned down Madara now you're just being mean

“To be honest, I've been wanting to do this to you for a very long time now” Kinkshame Madara Uchiha

Tenzo's jutsu is strong enough to hold off the five Kage and I'm very emo about it

“He's using wood style... who is he?” I WONDER WHO IT COULD BE OF THE THE TWO WOOD STYLE USERS TO EVER EXIST IN THE UNIVERSE ONE OF WHOM IS DEAD

“I asked you what does it feel like to poo” Swirly still asking the tough questions over 17 years later

God bless Sakura shouting words of encouragement as she heals Naruto

Naruto and Sasuke vowed to die together and they are so hardcore committed both of their hearts stopped at the same time

[ssantisheep]

Dumas’ Musketeers series : My feels

I’ve finished all the books of the Three Musketeers series and here are some of my thoughts on the characters. But first, just so you know it’s divided in three :

Les trois mousquetaires (the three musketeers) : 4 volumes

20 ans après (20 years after) : 3 volumes

Le vicomte de Bragelonne (The Vicomte of Bragelonne: Ten Years Later) : 6 volumes

So it is very long and there is a lot of characters development. A LOT. There is also a lot of side characters that you will probably fell in love with but get ready those ones are the first to die.

/!\ SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS /!\

So first of all I’ll start by the Hero (even if everyone got their fair share)

D’Arthagnan: Slytherin as fuck. I see your raised eyebrows and honestly fight me on my headcanon for their HP house. Because I won’t change my mind. D’arth is slytherin or he is nothing. More than bravery what defines him is a quick-witted mind and the ability to come up with a lot of fucking cunning plan. Also, he is ambitious as fuck. He gets rewarded by the end but you will cry. (I did) Basically he get the fucking distinction he was waiting for all is life and die. (: you see me smiling I’m crying inside.

Very important D’arthagnan IS gay for Athos. Like Super Gaytm . They don’t even try to hide. They raise a son together; every time d’Arthagnan is in admiration in front of Athos, and Athos trust him with all his heart and in Twenty years after they are in opposite camp and it breaks their hearts but then D’arthagnan write a letter and explain that he still will help him and Athos is almost crying in joy of d’arthagnan still loving him. Thinking of the show the Musketeers : we thought it was gay but it wasn’t nearly as much gay as he could have been. *side eyed the show*

Also the show took the “slytherin : House of stupid dare” and make their d’arthagnan that way. (again, meet me in the pit if you disagree)

Porthos: Will break your heart too many times to count because Too good, Too pure for this world. For his friends especially. Porthos is being manipulated by EVERYONE!! And that was will lead to his doom I’m not even lying. Basically he is described as slow and doesn’t seem to be able to keep up with his friends scheme but will follow them to his death. He does put them to shame thought because his heart is so pure? And he always forgives them and loves them?? And so there are some times when d’art and aramis are like “fuck porthos is a way better man than us” like yeah buddy, he is. Porthos is a Hufflepuff don’t even think otherwise. Loyal as fuck and will fuck you up if you mess with his friends. Have the strength of ten man. He is Hercules reborn. IDEK. I love him.

Athos : Perfect Mantm  there is pages that are just description of how beautiful and noble he is??? I believe Dumas had a crush on a real man and that was his inspiration? Or maybe Ideal Man? I don’t know. Gryffindor in my mind. Everyone love him and has a crush on him and want him to like them it’s embarrassing. Once told the King to kiss his ass (not with those words but he basically broke his own sword and throw it at king’s feet. So same thing really.) Have raised a son (with d’arthagnan) his son is perfect too. But a bit more emo. (d’arthy side? IDK) He only did one mistake: Milady. Always try to see the good side of everyone. I think it must be tiring being with him. Too perfect honestly.

Aramis: Slytherin too!!! OMG!! ARAMIS! So much feels about him. At first he was the lover and he was the cunning side kick of Athos and then at the end he become this meme :

“You Either Die A Hero, Or You Live Long Enough To See Yourself Become The Villain”

Like in the last Books of Vicomte de Bragelonne Aramis is the bad guy (for like 5 chapters but still enough to be fucked up) and YET!! He is the only one who survived. Porthos died because of him?? And he was ready to kill himself because of this???? WTF?? It is said that he is not really living though. Porthos was too important he lost him so he lost a part of his soul. Very gay for Porthos if you hadn’t understood yet.

He and d’arthagnan has the strangest relationship ever? (but also the most interesting one) Like there is multiple times where they have conversation trying to guess the other plans and lying and trying to manipulate the other?? I think they’re friend because their friends are friends? If you know what I mean? They still like each other but clearly they’re both too smart and they both get wary of the other. That’s literally the reason they can guess when the other is planning something because they ‘re ALWAYS SUSPECTING THE OTHER TO PLAN SOMETHING. (and if you supposed someone is always doing something at one point you will be right). I still love him but bitter ‘til the end about porthos’ death. It’s on you Aramis. On you, you fucker.

 Raoul de bragelonne: Son of Athos and d’arthagnan. Clever, pure hearted, always calm, nice manners. Get his heart broken and decided to die. Also, had a friend whom he was really close but somehow it never reaches the epic-ness of d’arthagnan and Athos. And the funnier things: Athos tell him that indeed De Guiche is nice but not like d’arthagnan. #Athosdisappointedthathissonisstraight (no this conversation really happened I’m not making this up. It’s awesome).

Still pretty cool and pretty chill most of the time except in the last 3 books which is explained because his fiancé cheated on him with the King. So you know. Big deal. Also everyone is an ass with him about that because NO ONE WANTS TO TELL HIM?? Like he goes to his friend De guiche who told him to come home, but he doesn’t want to tell him about his fiancée, then D’arthagnan is like” a problem with louise?? HAHAHAHA NO WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?? WHAT DO YOU MEAN I SERVE THE KING I SHOULD KNOW?? GOT A CAT ON FIRE GOT TO GO!!!” and it’s only Madame who tell him because she’s a bad bitch. :/ he is a gryffindor too.

 Now it’s the time for the characters who SHOULD have been in every adaptation but weren’t and it’s a damn tragedy because they’re perfect : I call you attention to the servants.

So who are these men? These men all serve one of the musketeers and they’ll follow them to the end of the earth and honestly they’re pretty much perfect. (except one I guess)

Bazin; the only not perfect one. Bazin is with aramis. Only accepted because Aramis want at one point to retire and become a church man (he did btw). Doesn’t look favourably at d’arthagnan looking for his old master in 20 years after. Completely forgotten in Le vicomte. Have no idea what he became. no idea what HP house.

Mousqueton: Porthos’. Loyal but not very good at stuff except eating. Which : a man after my own heart, but still. Love porthos and porthos loved him greatly. Porthos willed him all his clothes and Mousqueton died immediately after because he couldn’t stand porthos death. It’s pretty tragic, guy I shit you not. hufflepuff

Planchet: D’arthagnan servant. At first is kind of unlucky but by believing d’art he become a millionaire. Love d’arth and would die to protect him. He is also hot-headed and is actually running from the government in 20years after because he is leading the revolution? Or some part. Also end up a candy maker so best development ever. Also marry a cute Holland girl Trüchen. So he got his happy ending! gryffindor

Grimaud: I LOVE HIM TO DEATH!!!! Grimaud is a BAMF. Will fuck you Up. Save everyone asses more time than I can count. Is a drama queen. Belong to Athos and since Athos barely speak he barely speak too. Honestly the amount of words he said can probably all fit in one Word page? But since he doesn’t speak he express himself via his face and sound and it’s fucking hilarious. Serve Athos before Athos ask anything. He is the Best. I want twenty book just on him. Seriously where is my spin off show? This guy survived everything. At the end he was old (fifty years I think? Even more) and still follow Raoul to Algeria and was the one to bring his body back to be buried? Bow to him because he is the Best man you’ll ever met. (if you’re wondering there is apparently a lot of Athos/grimaud fanfiction when you search for the books’ fics and boy… Do I understand this. Because trust me I was sad but then Grimaud cried at the foot of Athos bed when he died and d’arth found him and I start crying too, couldn’t stop. My heart ache for this man who lost everyone he cared about so fast.) gryffindor

 OTHER CHARACTERS  (but not all):

Rochefort : was supposedly a foe in the three musketeers, end up one of their good friend in 20 years after. So sore about the show because, damn it, Rochefort could have been much more awesome than the side Friendzoned guytm they gave us. gryffindor.

Constance: last two or three books? Start the bad habits of d’arth that consist of sleeping with his landladies. Not lying he does with the second one too. After that he live in the Castle so it’s complicated but you got the idea. Is cute but kind of unimportant in the grand scheme of things? Like D’arthagnan forgot about her quickly? Bonus point for the show for making her a major character but then less point with how they handle her husband. HP house: Hufflepuff.

Mr Bonacieux : an old white man. Should say everything. Redeem himself a bit in 20 years after but that’s all. HP house: none.

Milady : Die in the three musketeers but got a son that as cruel as her so it’s okay. Also never get close to the King or anything. D’arthagnan fucked her knowing who she was if I remember correctly. Because he needed information. Right. She is portrayed as a mean Bitch but I’m not sure she was. Maybe if the world wasn’t a man’s world she would have been happier. slytherin.

Mordaunt : Son of Milday. Is well decided to kill everyone involved in his mom’s murder. He is the one that Kill King Charles the 1st of England. ( Because yeah, the musketeers get involved in the english revolution and Republique. After all, why not? They are also the reason for the restauration! Bow down to us, English people without us who wouldn’t have your Queen. (kidding but honestly, it’s like the four of them are responsible for everything.) ) Anyway end up dying, killed accidently by Athos because Athos was too noble and tried to save him when he drowned and he decided that he should try to kill Athos anyway. Did not worked well for Mordaunt. slytherin/ravenclaw? not sure.

Felton: A secondary character that I fell in love immediately. Remind me of Brad from GK actually?? Is seduced and used by Milady and then he is killed because he betrayed his commander. #Feltondeservedbetter #justiceforFelton gryffindor.

The Queen : get saved by d’arthagnan but decided to promptly forgot about him. I’m neutral about her, she is not a bitch, she is kind sometimes, but she is a queen, have a lot of power and don’t necessarily use it well.

Louis XIII : … I can’t even remember a thing about him in the book outside of him being so easily manipulated by Richelieu?

Richelieu : the enemy not really enemy of our heroes. Like he is the reason they must save their queen but at the same time give them reward if I remember? So really… Nice, intelligent guy. Ambitious too : Slytherin.

Mazarin: a greedy Italian Richelieu that get to Bone the Queen. Yep. Love money more than anything. Want to have the four of the musketeers on his side. Only get D’Arthagnan and Porthos and again only half of them because they will always choose Athos and Aramis first. LOL! (more ravenclaw than slytherin maybe?)

Fouquet : Good man. I really liked him. Honorable. Intelligent. Good with Ladies apparently. Love his King more than anything, get fucked because of Aramis and Colbert. (Aramis didn’t mean it, Colbert totally mean it). Ravenclaw. His circle of friend include: Le Brun, Le Notre, Molière, La fontaine etc…

Colbert: appear as the villain. The moment Fouquet is out of the picture become a saint. D’arth is confused as I am. Ravenclaw too. Still wary of him because Fouquet was a nice guy. Not very good socially but still manage to get ladies.

Louis XIV : at the end is an Ass. Okay not really but you know he could have forgive fouquet since the guy save his ass but no. But again he is king and there this one night and day he spent in the Bastille because of Aramis so yeah, he become more ruthless. Grow up a lot through the books thought. Like his character development his high level. It’s interesting to see it. Probably Gryffindor because is ruled by passion for most of the story.

Philippe: Twin Brother of Louis XIV. Is king for a few hours but then he is sent back in prison with the famous iron mask on his face. Struck Fouquet and d’arthagnan (and Aramis) by his noble heart and the fact that he would have been a better King than Louis probably. Sad end to him but what can you do?Probably Gryffindor too. not nearly as ambitious as one could think.

Madame: Henriette sister of the King of England become the sister in law of Louis XIV. Queen B. Want to be loved by everyone and doesn’t like when other girls get attention. Still end up in love with De guiche. Slytherin.

De guiche: Bestie of Raoul. Met Henriette five second and fall madly in love with her. Like he doesn’t know her, she had no idea who he is but it’s game over. Get a lot of trouble but finally end up loved by her. Is acting as protector of La Vallière during Raoul stay in England. Good friend but not as good as D’arthagnan. Hufflepuff.

Louise de La vallière : I’d like to say that the only famous lover of Louis XIV I know was Madame de Montespan. So I had no idea who louise was and innocently I asked my mum “hey does Louise still end up with Raoul? “and my mum was like “Don’t you know your history? She is the first lover of Louis XIV. They have kids together I think” so I was crushed. And spoiled for the story but mostly crushed because I knew she was going to crush raoul’s heart. And I was right.But I still like her and she face so many abuse and she is so pure of heart? She get a lot of hates by d’arth at the end but remind him that in the position she is she will likely suffer. Is right about that. It end when is going to be replace by Montespan who was a friend of her. My poor lovely girl. Hufflepuff/Gryffindor. (she is very brave and face a lot of abuse but never loose hope and will die for the King and for Raoul... so I don’t know.)

There is a lot of other but I am neutral or just don’t really know what to say except “Become a Bitch” *think of the Montalais/Malicorne thing that never actually happened?? It’s implied but nothing is shown ?*

Anyway the reading was interesting because I kept having like Luke pasqualino in head and then will stumble into an illustration of a very white, with long curly hair and a moustache d’arthagnan and yeah… It’s weird. Make me sad about the show but realize that It’s impossible to adapt those books correctly. Too many characters, plots to fit into a movie and at the same time : not long enough plot to make a serie ?

But anyway A classic so nice to have add it. One question stay: why “Un pour tous et tous pour un” is such a famous line when it like mentioned once in the three musketeers and once in le vicomte de bragelonne. What happened?

 Also sorry for the long post but to finish : if you have time read the book. You will probably cry but it’s very gay and fun and so many characters to love. And to hate  :3 

Also where is the HP AU guys ?