#honestly its part of my nightly ritual

[everlastingcastiel]

How am I supposed to sleep without reading a fic on ao3??

[yuugen-benni]

Euthanasia

- "A very gentle and quiet Death" Prompt: With an incurable disease that would destroy you over the years, you chose death before it actually came to you. A painless death is only painless for the one who suffers, and not for the one who witnesses it. Characters: Diluc - Albedo - Neuvillette - Kazuha Tags: gn!reader, Euthanasia/ assisted suicide, Burial types (Diluc- Cremation; Neuvillete - Sea), mentions of Death by medications, Grief, injuries A/N: The inspiration for this post was because I recently went to a funeral and the topic of "how do you want your funeral to be" came up among my family, honestly I would like a sea burial! Because of my beliefs, So I added the euthanasia and wrote this sad mess. I hope you guys enjoy and cry

The large doors of the mansion closed strongly announcing the return to the stillness that surrounded the entire building. Diluc had dismissed the maids in the afternoon, and gratefully, not even they asked why. The floor creaked louder than usual with his exhausted footsteps, wet from the thin rain that fell throughout Mondstadt, and he headed straight to his office like a sleepwalker on his nightly routine. The leather coat is left tossed on the adjacent divan as, without saying a word, he moves with purpose, sweeping objects from the tables, their crash a discordant symphony echoing his inner turmoil. His destruction was slow, allowing silence to fill the environment from time to time. His last victim was the window, shattered by his calloused hands clenched into fists, trembling from the fragments of glass that embedded themselves in his skin. In the distance, a fire crackled, strong enough to still reign under the rainwater. Diluc raised his head towards the noise, his face covered in soot and his eyes as red as his iris. There was no surprise in his expression because he knew that your body was burning there respecting your request to be burned by his flames and even though there was no need, he blamed himself.

The one thing Albedo doesn't like about nature: How everything seems to have been planned out beforehand. We can observe this in the seasons, in the rains that fall at the most inopportune moments, in your last words to him before the medicine killed you, and in that moment when Albedo hovered next to a hospital bed inside his own laboratory. Your vital signs would be nothing more than a straight line, the sound of the monitor beeping tirelessly like a cry for help - was the genius's sentence. It was so planned that you were the only person in whom he couldn't discover the most essential thing. And he hates hates hates hates hates hates it so much.

Just as the sea gives life, it also takes it, returning it to the earth, to our natural state. Water supplies us and cleanses us from the sins we have acquired in our lifetime and with the prophecy of the flood, the people of Fontaine adopted sea burial as a ritual, believing that the souls would join the ocean and thus protect their people. But Neuvillette had never thought about it until holding your body as he entered the vast expanse of water. The lapping of the waves was gentle, but agitated with the anxiety of welcoming another one of their children. Arrangements of Romaritime and Lumidouce Bell flowers, chosen specifically by him, were tied around your body; Slowly, with his hand on the back of your neck, Neuvillete lowered you into the water until it covered your entire body and finally released you allowing nature to do its part as you fall deeper. A flash of lightning rips through the sky, the electric tendrils branched across the heavens, illuminating the dark landscape and then the rain fall like tears. Hydro Dragon, Hydro Dragon, Don't cry.

Kazuha witnessed everything - the diagnosis, the decision and your death - trying to keep his heart that beat stronger than the wind blows through a sail on stormy nights inside his chest, he wanted to keep his facade of light breeze in front of you when he was just an inch away from breaking. But now, right there, with knees on the ground, head bowed and fists clenched tightly in his lap, he stood in front of your grave vulnebrable, praying to the heavens to allow your soul to leave freely.

Somehow he keeps hearing your voice in the rustling of the leaves, your scent on the air, and your touch on the breeze. Will this be another burden ? Possibly, and if so, the blade of his katana will be enough for an excuse because in joy and in sorrow, in health and in sickness, every day of yours lives he was there, so he would like to add one more promise: In life and in death.

[charlotte--kensington]

I started working on a new USUKUS fic about a princess (Amelia) falling in love with the moon (Arthur) and honestly, everything about this idea just feels incredibly pretty to me? Then again, I am clearly biased. But astronomy is beautiful and so are the things I have planned - at least in my opinion.

That being said... Snippets, anyone?

---

The first night

Amelia was alone. All was peaceful as she lay there on the roof, the skirts of her dress splayed around her and the near endless darkness of the night sky spread out above her like a blanket. It was no different from any other time of day, really. The stars gleaming above were the same as the ones that she’d seen at noon, the moon shone down onto her skin the same way it had done in the morning. All was dark, as it always was.

The princess folded her arms beneath her head, getting a little more comfortable. It had become something of a nightly ritual to her, this short while she spent up on the roof of the highest tower of the palace each night. Her parents still thought her mad for her love of the skies, and had they known of Amelia’s nightly activities, they surely would have done whatever was in their power to stop her from returning. But they hadn’t, and so she was up here once more, watching the tapestry of glittering lights in the distance.

With ease, she made out the asterisms sprawling across the inky black, connecting individual stars until she saw what had always been like a storybook to her. A book of creatures and giants, gods and heroes, tales written down in the world itself. Above her, a red star shone. Antares, she thought with a small smile, reaching out as though to draw the image of the scorpion that the star was a part of.

She had never understood how her teachers or her parents could not appreciate the sky this way. It was beautiful, unlike anything she had seen elsewhere. When Amelia had been younger they’d told her the stories of when the sun had first disappeared, but none of her teachers had been able to tell her why that was meant to be a bad thing.

They had argued that the lightless dark they lived in now made life hard, but Amelia hadn’t understood. Didn’t the stars still light their way? Didn’t the plants all around them, the lanterns illuminating their every home, the glowing fabrics of their clothes, didn’t they all bring light? Didn’t the moon still shine for them?

Again her teachers had claimed that this light was nothing like what it had been like before, but when the princess had asked whether they’d seen the sun, they had only told her no. It had been centuries, they said. Nobody alive today had ever seen the sun, it had been too long.

“And yet they all yearn for it…” she muttered to herself, shifting her attention back towards the sky. Whatever it was that made them all love the sun so much, Amelia couldn’t see it. Perhaps it was because she’d never known the sun, but then again, neither had they. Either way Amelia preferred the moon.

She turned over to where it was wandering across its nightly course, no more than a silver sickle against the vast skies. Not much longer and there’d be a new moon, she realised. There was something beautiful about that, about how the moon waxed and waned, over and over again, starting ever new, even when it had seemed as though it had disappeared. Had the sun done the same in the past?

[morningstargirl666]

Morningstar’s Rec List

Part 1 - Canon Divergence

To celebrate @klarolineauseason I’ve piled together all the fics I know and love into one place, to share with y’all. I’ve tried to include the well-known classics in the fandom that I adore, but also some more obscure ones. Hopefully there are some you haven’t read!

Deal of a Lifetime by Anya-Paradox

One-shot. Caroline meets Klaus when she’s still human, while on vacation with her father. They have a summer fling while she’s still sixteen, and a few years later after going their separate ways, she finds out ‘Nick’ is actually Klaus Mikaelson, the same guy who’s trying to kill her friends. I loved reading this fic, as it captures all the innocence of Caroline at sweet sixteen and falling for her first love, but also the character development that comes in their years apart, and how Caroline is a little older, a little wiser when she meets Klaus next. She’s in love with Klaus, but she’s not about to let him walk all over her. She’s worth being put first. And she knows it.

O’Holy Night by BelleMorte180 / @bellemorte180

One-shot. Another ‘Caroline meets Klaus early’ au. However, this time she’s a freshly turned vampire, confused and alone, forced to relive everything Damon did to her as the compulsion slowly wears off now she’s no longer human. Klaus finds her before her friends do, and it changes everything. At first, Caroline is aware she’s just a pawn in Klaus’ game, but as they spend more time with each other and Caroline learns of what Klaus wants - and he of who Caroline Forbes really is - this begins to change. It’s a beautifully crafted fic, and I loved how it slowly had them fall for each other, even though it’s only around 30k. And hey, because it’s one of Erica’s fics, you know Damon will get his due in the end. 😈

Their Nightly Ritual by bellyamywinchester

Multichap. Complete. Now this? This has to be my favourite canon divergence fic EVER. Dear god, it’s so good. It’s quite an old fic now, and it may not be a 500k enemies to lovers slowburn that you read at 3am, but it gives just as much serotonin for your brain. Set right after 5x11, Caroline is at college and Klaus has kept his promise to walk away and never see her again. But we all know Klaus - he’ll find a loophole if there is one. And fortunately for us, the loophole turns out to be he promised she would never see him ever again - he never specified about never hearing his voice again. And so, begins an exchange of nightly phone calls where Klaus asks Caroline about her day. Both of them are never even in the same room throughout the entire fic, but somehow this author has captured every nuanced aspect of Klaus and Caroline’s relationship, the insecurities on both sides, the struggle Caroline has in allowing herself to love Klaus and the easy love Klaus bestows her in contrast. It’s just a masterpiece. Go read it.

like a wedding dress needs dirt by coveredinthecolours / @definedareasofuncertainty

One-shot. This is so beautifully written, honestly fills me with joy. The concept and ideas behind this fic are so original too - it’s certainly nothing I’ve seen before. Fresh from leaving Stefan at the alter, Caroline spends her wedding day in a graveyard, burying her past life of make-pretend. Klaus is there, simply because she asked him to be, like always, and the fic ends hopefully, promising a new beginning for our favourite otp.

The Way Back by Cupcakemolotov / @cupcakemolotov

Two-shot. Complete. Another treasure. Having spent a near-distant future with Klaus only for it to end in tragedy, Caroline ends up sent back into the past by Bonnie to fix things before they go so very wrong. Little does she know, she wasn’t the only one sent back in time.

the guilty ones by grim grace

Multichap. Complete. Probably one you’ve already read as its a fandom classic, but amazing all the same. Caroline falls in love with Klaus without knowing he’s Klaus, and as always, things spiral from there.

Give Me Love and it’s follow up Love Interruption by idiot-wind89

Multichap. Complete. A classic canon divergence au in the sense it diverges directly from canon, Caroline and Klaus becoming endgame. To this day, I still vividly remember a scene in this fic where Klaus takes Caroline horse riding, when she’s supposed to be distracting him from her friends’ plots. Which is why I blame this author entirely for my obsession to read as many fics with these two interacting with horses, or riding together once more.

Til I Tasted You by KiryTheStitchWitch / @kirythestitchwitch

Multichap. Recently completed! Bonnie completes a spell to find Caroline’s mate, both of them expecting it to be Tyler and well - you already know how this goes. There is a magnificent quote from Klaus in this fic that honestly had me swooning: “As if I could be jealous of a boy who has no concept of what it is like to touch the sun and then spend a millennium looking for daylight in every strangers’ face.” Like. Take a moment to let those words sink in. Like dear god. Klaus you smooth motherfucker - thank you Kiry, for forever ruining my expectations for men, I hope you’re proud.

Blood and a Quick Murder (and isn’t this how it always is?) by KS_Caster / @ks-caster

One-shot. Has to be one of my favourite one-shots in the fandom, due to its originality and the utter brilliance of it all. Through magical hijinks, Caroline ends up human again and goes straight to Klaus, asking for his blood and a quick murder - hers. This fic showcases the differences between Caroline and her friends, how they always hated vamprism while she never regretted becoming a vampire, despite it not being her choice. It also sees Caroline finally arrive in New Orleans. What more could we ask for?

Red Queen by KS_Caster / @ks-caster

Multichap & Series. Part 3 of the series is still a WIP, but parts 1 & 2 are complete and waiting to be read. This was probably one of the first klaroline fics I read, and it still holds up now, years later. I love it immensely, mostly because it explores so much with the characters. There’s some in depth lore of the author’s own making, Klaus doesn’t shy away from his werewolf side which I ADORE OKAY and Caroline is pretty badass too, seeing through Silas’ lies. Klaus also puts Caroline first, seeking The Cure for her in order to save her from dying, rather than for his own ends. It’s an amazing series, highly recommend.

not for him a watery grave by MyLadyElise

Multichap. Complete. This is a lovely what if au for 3x21. The Mystic Falls gang succeeds in dropping Klaus at the bottom of the ocean, and while her friends celebrate the victory, all Caroline can feel is a paralysing wrongness to it all. So she calls Rebekah, and then she plans a rescue. Absolutely love the idea of this one, go check it out.

The Stubborn Grace of Being Loved Regardless by perfectpro / @helpless-in-sleep

One-shot. I will scream about this fic til the end of my days and then I will scream some more because it’s too fucking perfect, seriously Jenn. How did you come up with this piece of pure perfection? Unlike in canon, Caroline doesn’t become a vampire in this fic and instead becomes sidelined from her little group of friends, kept out of the loop about supernatural drama. Which is probably for the best, as there is no way in hell I could see this Caroline Forbes spending any time in close proximity with Damon Salvatore. This fic explores the full extent of what he did to her while she was human, and at it’s heart, the one-shot is about Caroline’s trauma and recovery. Along the way, she falls for Klaus yes, and - slight spoiler here - there may even be some Damon murder involved offscreen, but’s it’s Caroline’s story told here, first and foremost. And it’s beautiful, so bloody beautiful. Never have I read a fic so beautifully crafted with such fine detail and respect. Honestly, leaves me lost for words.

Wayfarer by perfectpro / @helpless-in-sleep

One-shot.  The perfect little fic to cure the woes canon bestowed us. Years in the future, Caroline is travelling the world. But travelling alone isn’t what she expected it to be, and Paris certainly isn’t wowing her either. Almost deciding to call it quits and leave, her mind is changed when a familiar face appears. Perfect for solidifying these two are endgame, this fic is short but packs a great hit all the same.

she’s a rainbow by sunnydaisy / @little-miss-sunny-daisy

One-shot. Original!Caroline. The relationship built between Klaus and Caroline in this just incredible. They’ve been a couple for centuries, but like all relationships, this one has its struggles, and they work through it and come out stronger than ever. The fic is also so much fun. The Mystic Falls gang are oblivious to who Klaus and Caroline really are, which leads to some great moments.

Wisteria by sunnydaisy / @little-miss-sunny-daisy

One-shot. Another ‘Caroline meets Klaus early’ au, and probably my absolute favourite of the trope. This fic is packed with so much fluff and make-you-smile moments you’ll be grinning madly by the end. Carolines flees to the coast to escape Mystic Falls for a few days, saddened by Matt’s rejection and still coming to terms with being a vampire herself. In a bar, she meets Klaus, unaware he is also a vampire, and they hit off from there. It’s so cute guys, I just can’t. She tries to compel him and Klaus goes along with it because you can tell he finds her adorable, this blond baby vampire full of sunshine and- god. Just read it before I start crying again over the perfectness of it all.

Ghost by sunshineandfangs / @sunshineandfangs and it’s sequel Help me, please!

One-shot, or technically a two-shot if you count its sequel. This is my other favourite one-shot of the fandom. IT. IS. AMAZING. Like seriously, drop dead, scream into your pillow a-m-a-z-i-n-g. Go read it. Caroline dies when still human, killed by Damon. She watches as Elena softens to her murderer, as Bonnie helps him and Stefan turns into a similar monster. Hate and anger festers and grows, until she’s strong enough to interact with the world she’s barred from. As a ghost, she meets Klaus, and with any loyalty she held for her friends lost the day they left her to die, she helps him break his curse. Spooky, rife with betrayal and thus revenge, this is a great read for fellow chaos demons like myself.

Pet Wolf by these-dreams-go-on / @these-dreams-go-on

Multichap. WIP. Come for the klaroline, stay for the wolf!klaus who is a menace and an absolute delight. Seriously. The chapters where Klaus is stuck in his werewolf form and Caroline unknowingly adopts him as her pet is pure genius and the true highlight of this fic. He chews her dad’s shoes. He growls at boys. He watches freakin TV, fur and all. Asdfghjkl- It’s amazing go read it.

Wicked Schemes by willowaus

Multichap. Complete. A classic. Caroline inherits some badass powers from a forgotten relative and is pulled into the supernatural political shitstorm that is New Orleans. Looks like the city finally has its new Queen.

...My god that was a lot of recs. You can tell canon divergence is my favourite au, heh. Now go forth and devour them!

[zombryz]

chile, I want my guts DESTROYED by Broly or Whis. Ik saying Whis is a stretch, but idk, he's so fine to meeee. thank you 🥰

Hi Anon! I’m sort of a Whis girl myself (˵ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°˵) please enjoy this lovely Whis one shot ~

TW: smut, and some fluff ✧

Lord Beerus’ planet was honestly really pretty. It was concealed within a nebula and it appeared to be upside down although when you were within it you were always right side up. Strange, but beautiful. There was an enormous tree growing in the center which at the base held Lord Beerus’ castle. Every morning you would take in all its glory with your daily meditation ritual that Piccolo taught you. You have been here for going on four months now. Because you were human you had no need for training, but Goku and Vegeta insisted on you coming along to cook meals and to keep them company. The Saiyan’s would be so lost without you. You had originally rolled your eyes at the invitation but you couldn’t pass up traveling through the galaxy. Lord Beerus and his attendant, Whis, didn’t seem to mind. They were always in the mood for a good meal. It was also a perk having a destroyer on your side, imagine if someone on earth had looked at you the wrong way. Gods, not even luck would be able to help them. It had grown a bit lonely though, your daily routine consisted of; waking up, meditating, watching Goku and Vegeta train with Whis, prepare breakfast, go back to meditation, watch them train some more, cook lunch, talk to Lord Beerus when/if he woke up, sometimes watch godtube with Lord Beerus, cook dinner, go to sleep, repeat. Your routine was becoming tiresome and you ached for a change.

This morning you had been meditating, your regular schedule, you looked down to see Goku and Vegeta going head to head with Whis. Obviously, Whis had dodged every single attack made by the pair of Saiyans. Your hands were on top of your knees while you were sitting in a criss-cross position. You had lifted one eye up to watch them train. The Saiyans hadn’t interested you as much as Whis did. He was so smooth and had such a calming presence. You felt as though nothing could penetrate his defenses. Vegeta once told you that Whis was the one to train Lord Beerus and so that piqued your interest. While watching them train you had usually fixed your eyes on either Goku or Vegeta, but this time you couldn’t take your eyes off of Whis. Something about him was so elegant and intoxicating. He must’ve felt your peering eyes because in the midst of taking on four fists to the face he looked up at you, making eye contact causing you to immediately close both of your eyes. Shit, you’d been caught peeping. You hoped with his many talents that he couldn’t read minds, that would be embarrassing to explain to him the dirty things you had been thinking at that moment. 

Finally, it was dinner time. You had cooked up a large enough meal for your makeshift-god family. You made mountains of ramen, it all looked and smelled so delicious. The spices filling up the room causing your mouth to water. You grabbed one bowl for yourself and let them all dig in. 

“Thank you, Y/N,” Whis looked at you with sincerity in his eyes. He held direct eye contact for a moment. This was a different look for him, usually, he stuffs his face and would give thanks after. 

“You’re welcome, Whis,” you replied, giving a gentle smile. This interaction caused your heart to thump in your chest. He had singled you out before you were nothing more than the cook. If you were being honest with yourself you didn’t even know if he knew your name. 

After dinner, you found yourself in your bedroom, one of the many rooms in the palace. This always confused you because Beerus didn’t seem to be one for having guests over. You had just gotten out of your nightly shower patting your hair dry with a secondary towel. When you walk out of the bathroom that was attached to your bedroom, you see none other than the Angel himself, Whis. You froze, your first thought was that maybe you were seeing things. Why was Whis in your bedroom? He was standing there with his scepter in his right hand while his left hand was behind his back. There was a moment of silence before he began to speak. 

“I am not supposed to be doing this but after the way you looked at me today it confirmed it,” he trailed off at the end. You weren’t really following. 

“Whis, what are you talking about?” You questioned, raising a brow in confusion. He seemed a little nervous himself and you were glad you weren’t the only one having a mini panic attack. 

“I have felt attracted to you for a while now, Y/N. Today, when you looked at me during training your body language had confirmed that you feel the same.” He said this time sounding more confident than before. Your heart started racing, you thought this was just some silly crush but now an Angel was standing in your bedroom confessing how he feels about you. Your face was turning rosy when you realized you hadn’t responded to him yet. 

“Oh, um. Y-Yeah. I’m sorry if that complicates things for you. I didn’t even think Angels were capable of liking mortals.” You finally answered, unsure of where this was going to go. You were beginning to feel the weight of this whole conversation, not even thinking about the fact that you were still in only a towel. Angels definitely didn’t understand social cues, otherwise, this would be way more awkward. 

Without responding Whis hammered his scepter to the ground ordering it to undress you. Your towel dropped to the ground and you had no intention of covering yourself. Your cheeks had become completely red now, you were standing in front of the angel completely naked with your hair still dripping wet. Whis leaned his scepter against the wall and started undressing, removing his long black cuirass first and then his maroon robe not long after. Still in shock, you watched him remove every bit of clothing he had on until you were both standing nude and at each other’s disposal. Standing in silence you felt that this was oddly romantic, his eyes wandered down your body appreciating every part, every curve of it with a hunger in his eyes that you had never seen before. You returned the favor by letting your eyes trail down his body, starting with his perfectly chiseled jaw, just under was his glowing blue halo that fell at his collarbone, his arm muscles looked like they had been crafted by the gods themselves. His chest was perfectly swole and slender. His torso ended in a beautiful v-shape. He was standing with both hands behind his back, allowing you to take in his glory. When your eyes went lower you realized that he was already as hard as a rock. His dick was big and long and a lighter shade of blue than the rest of his skin. It looked so supple in the moonlight, his tip was a brighter pink and it had an iridescent glow of pre-cum at its tip. You wanted so badly to get on your knees, sucking off the Angel right where he stood. Your body tingles at the thought causing you to shiver.

Whis lifted two fingers and motioned for you to come to him, without even having to move your body you were flying to him through the air using his abilities. The space between you was very limited now and this caused your breathing to quicken. He towered over you and you couldn’t help but want to be dominated by him. Whis on the other hand was calm and eager. You stepped closer to him, that’s when you noticed his halo was preventing you from getting any closer. To fix the issue, you stepped underneath and into his halo so that now he shared his space with you. The halo was now wrapped around the both of you causing you to be forced closer together. Chests now touching, you looked up to see his face illuminated by both the moonlight sneaking in through the window and his halo that was humming a low buzzing noise next to both sides of your faces. The feeling was euphoric. He made one last gentle look at you before his eyes turned needy, he leaned down to kiss you. It was passionate and fiery, both of his hands came out from behind his back to grab and cup your face. His tongue wanting to explore your mouth so you slightly opened yours allowing him entrance. A moan escaped your lips sending him into a fury. His kisses became sloppy and hungry. His hands traveled down to your breasts, toying with your already hard nipples. He slightly pinched at your nipples before grabbing a fistful of your breasts causing him to inhale deeply. Growing impatient he reached down to pick you up so that you would be closer to him. Your legs wrapped around his waist as he carried you to your bed. Halo still around you both it was the most intimate you had ever felt with anyone. It was as though you were tied to each other, causing an unbreakable bond. Whis slowly laid you on the bed, you were already soaking wet and ready for him. This time you grew impatient and reached for his cock, once you had him in your hands you lined him up to your entrance making sure to slide him up and down to gather your wetness. Whis kissed you between moans, the moment he slid in you both inhaled deeply feeling the pleasure of him inside of you, your lips still pressed together. With a few more pumps you grew comfortable with his size, you wanted him to quicken his pace. 

“Whis, faster. P-please,” you breathily mewled in his ear, he didn’t hesitate. He began thrusting into you harder and faster causing you to throw your head back in pleasure which only caused him to fall closer to you because of the halo. As he continued fucking you he snaked his hands up to your breasts, with his halo it was difficult but he needed you in his mouth. He leaned down slightly, bending his body enough to grab one of your breasts. He began flicking his tongue over your sensitive skin, you were quite literally in heaven. With his free hand, he began circling your clit with his thumb. Gods, this felt so good. You bucked your hips into him desperate for release.

You wanted to make him feel good too, you motioned for him to switch places. With a quick shift you were straddling him, his cock still deep inside your walls. You moved slightly as you got comfortable in the new position. His halo created the perfect closeness you needed to ride out your orgasm. Whis sat up and kissed down your neck and collarbone. He planted sloppy kisses all over your face. He kissed the tip of your nose and forehead, causing you to smile while you bounced on top of him. This reaction made him smile sweetly in return. You continued to grind against him, he lifted his lower body slightly to give you a greater closeness than you had before. While you were riding him he wrapped his arms around you holding you down on his cock shoving his length entirely inside you, holding you still while he thrust into you this time. A loud moan came from the back of your throat causing him to quicken his speed. You were reaching for release and god was he giving it to you, he kept massaging your breasts with one hand while holding you tightly in the other. You rode out your climax, clamping around him, milking his cock, not worried about if anyone else in the palace could hear your moans of pleasure. Whis wasn’t far behind, he quickened his speed steading out his thrusts so that he could come. He held you down on his cock shoving in and out of you while you bounced on top of him. His cock hitting the end of your walls each time. With his eyes closed, he threw his head back causing you to be pulled into the nook of his neck and shoulder. You planted kisses on the sides of his neck as you rest your head on him while he came hard inside of you. He felt so good. Without getting off of him, he remained inside of you, you could feel his warm cum spilling out from the sides of your walls and down your legs but you didn’t care. You were both panting, you were still laid against him quite comfortably where you were. You were in a hugging position and never wanted to move out of this spot. After a minute or two you sat up, still straddling him you took both of your hands and cupped them around his temples, pushing his tall, white hair down while you reached up to kiss him on the forehead. After the kiss, you pressed your forehead against his. He was your angel and you never wanted to leave this halo.

[mrsgiovanna]

Eternity

Pairing: Vamp!Giorno x Mateo Aroz

Word Count: 2K

A small thank you for @ladybugblues for designing all the concept art for my self indulgent BriGio Halloween fic. Its Spooky Season, you know I had to, and pls, these two are so close to my heart.

The air was heavy with the scent of tobacco and malt liquor. The dimly lit establishment was filled with patrons, but none stood out more than a certain young man crowned with a golden mane. Giorno was aware of his misplaced presence in the tiny bar, but he couldn’t help but return night after night, being drawn in by the handsome young guitarist who had taken over the place a few months ago. Giorno wasn’t the type to fall as quickly and intensely as he had, being exposed to so many different types of people over the many years he’s been around, he had become immune to many of their charms. Be had also come to understand the cruel and fleeting nature of human lives and wanted to steer clear of becoming too involved with their affairs, but there was something about Mateo that he simply couldn’t pin down… and in his trying to understand the enigma of a man, he had found himself entirely enraptured.

Over the months that passed, moody banter had evolved into flirtatious exchanges and somewhere along the way their mutual feelings had intensified. This nightly ritual had become something that they had both relished, and for Giorno the thrill of sneaking around to avoid being seen by his father and brothers added to the experience. For centuries, the family had managed to keep their origins a secret, being a descendent of the original vampires that traversed the world and a first born son, he had a unique set of responsibilities that no mortal could even begin to understand. Yet… in the moments he shared with Mateo, he was able to overlook all that worked to separate them and focus on the magnetism that had constantly pulled them together.

Each night Giorno had occupied his usual spot in the corner which concealed him just enough to protect his anonymity while offering him the best view of Mateo. The handsome guitarist had just seen out the final patron before turning his attention to Giorno.

“Fancy seeing you in these parts, are you lost, kind sir?” teased Mateo, as Giorno walked towards him, wrapping him in a warm embrace when they met at the center of the room.

“Oh I think I’m exactly where I need to be…” replied Giorno with a pleasant cadence to his voice. The pair had settled into this sweet routine of having dinner with each other after Mateo had seen out the last patron. Giorno had started to set their usual table and chose a bottle of wine to go with the food that had been lovingly prepared by Mateo’s chef.

“I didn’t think I’d see you tonight, I thought you had plans with your family already?”

“I cancelled, my time is much better spent with you,” Mateo cocked an eyebrow at Giorno’s saccharine declarations, replying to the sentiment with a playful edge to his voice.

“We both know you have nothing but time to spare…” Giorno sighed softly, the direction of this encounter becoming clearer with every spoken word. Attempts at trying to redirect the conversation had failed spectacularly, evidenced by the stubborn way in which Mateo’s words resounded in Giorno's mind.

“I honestly can’t see a reason why you wouldn’t want to turn me, you’d have an amazing boyfriend preserved in his prime, unless you’re waiting for me to die to move on to your next conquest,” said Mateo in between his laughter, which ended abruptly when the musician saw the hurt in the genteel vampire’s eyes.

“I just don’t want to hurt you Mateo, the risk is too great, I couldn't love another the way I love you…” A pang of regret rose in the younger man’s throat, at the fragile quality of Giorno’s voice. He was usually a softly spoken man, whose emotions were usually well controlled, which is what made the tenderness in his voice that much more moving.

“Gio, I… only meant it as a joke, I didn’t intend on hurting you, I’m sorry, I know how that must have sounded now.” offered Mateo as he stroked the top of Giorno’s hand from across the table, the nobleman conveying his acceptance with a smile and a silent nod.

“Perhaps I could try…” suggested Giorno, although he immediately regretted the idea as soon as the words left his mouth. He brought himself towards Mateo, but recoiled as soon as he felt his bloodlust. It had been a few days since he last fed and didn’t want to chance hurting Mateo.

“What’s the matter Giorno? Am I-”

“It’s not you caro, I… Just”

“It’s okay Giorno, come on, let’s talk about something else for now,”

Giorno remained pensive for the rest of the night though and eventually left the bar slightly earlier than usual. On his way home he reflected carefully on his partner's request, and the truth of the matter made him groan out in dread. Eventually Mateo would age and … even the thought was much too difficult for Giorno to complete. He took the long path home, being unbothered by the creatures that lurked in the night, he needed the solitude to carefully process his thoughts. For a while, the crunching of leaves beneath his feet and the cool night air were all that filled his senses, as he dwelled in his thoughts and before he knew it, he had reached the winding pathway leading to his expansive home. It was late enough, Giorno presumed, for him to enter the house undetected. His patience had all but run out and he didn’t have the mental fortitude to deal with any condescension from his father or siblings.

He had felt somewhat disconnected from the rest of his family in a way he couldn't pin down.

"Where have you been, Giorno?" a sonorous voice addressed him from the shadow, his father slowly approached him from the open window he had been peering out of just moments earlier.

"Out… I'm tired-"

"Your absence at dinner tonight already established that you were out, my question was where were you?" slanted crimson shards bore into his face for a few moments, unable to endure his father's gaze any longer Giorno averted his eyes. Dio knew of the troubles plaguing his son, he had been in that very position himself a few times.

"Make sure you tell him everything, Giorno… everything," suggested Dio, closely watching his son for his reaction.

"Excuse me?

"I know you've been frequenting that little watering hole for the longest time now… it comes highly recommended by Donatello... the owner I believe is quite the charmer; Mateo was it? I might have to pay this enigma of a man a visit myself," the horror painted across Giorno's face drew a smirk on Dio's. The older vampire continued, "you need to tell him everything then my son, the wars we've lived through, the acts we've had to endure, the feeling you experience when people happen to find out exactly what you are… is he willing to go through all of that? For you? For love and companionship? For sex?"

"Father!"

"Oh don't be coy with me Giorno,"

"I… I care about him… he's not like the others. And the mere thought of outliving him is filling me with dread. But on the other hand… if he grows to hate me at some point in his endless life it would destroy me," Dio regarded his son carefully, the conflict Giorno felt, distorted his handsome face.

"Explain it all to him, sugarcoat nothing, be blunt about your experiences… If he still wants to descend into our shadowy world then turn him," advised Dio as he walked past Giorno to ascend the stairs towards his chamber.

Later that day, Giorno's resolve was absolute, after a sleepless night of contemplation, he decided he would follow his father's advice. Taking the familiar path towards the bar he replayed imaginings of the conversation over and over again until he reached his destination. Upon seeing Giorno, Mateo announced that he'd be closing up earlier than expected and apologized for the inconvenience amidst the hushed grumpy murmurs that swept the room. Giorno impatiently waited for the last patron to nonchalantly waddle out of the building before wrapping Mateo in a loving embrace.

"Missed me that much Giova-"

"I'll do it but under my conditions and you have to let me finish telling you everything without any interruptions…" It wasn't like Giorno to cut Mateo off but the urgency in his voice told Mateo everything he needed to know.

"Alright, here, let's sit down, I'll pour us some wine," Giorno took his seat in his usual spot followed by his handsome ebony-haired partner, taking a deep breath he started to explain everything he's had to endure over the years and all the things Mateo would have to be mindful of should he choose this path. Mateo listened quietly as Giorno had requested, nodding at the appropriate moments, lovingly stroking his hand when the blonde's emotions threatened to spill over. By the end of his emphatic rendition of his experiences as a vampire, all that Giorno wanted to spare Mateo from, had become glaringly obvious to the younger man, being moved by how passionately he was being protected this whole time.

"It's going to be painful Mateo, your mortal death is going to hurt like nothing you've ever experienced… Thereafter, simple things like opening your curtains to let the sunshine stream in and going out at just any hour become impossible. Are you willing to change your life and forsake your humanity? All for someone like me?"

"Giorno, up until the moment I met you my life has been full of painful events and things no other person should ever have to endure, I promise you I can handle it, and I'll take so much more especially for you," moved by the Mateo's words and the uncharacteristically gentle timbre of his voice, Giorno lead Mateo by the hand to a more open space in the room. The effects of his bloodlust were already visible- his eyes had taken on a crimson hue, his nails extended and took on an appearance more akin to claws and his fangs had protruded extending further than the rest of his teeth. He flicked the ebony hair off Mateo's shoulder and traced his jugular with a taloned finger. Seeking permission from Mateo by glancing at his eyes once more, Giorno waited for the raven haired man to nod before sinking his teeth into Mateo's neck.

Never had he tasted blood so sweet, Giorno found himself becoming more intoxicated with each sip letting out an audible groan, gripping Mateo even tighter. He felt Mateo getting weaker in his arms and knew it was time. He laid him gently on the floor, bundling his jacket to support Mateo’s head and used one of his long talons to pierce an opening in the vein of his wrist until a small steady stream of blood poured out. He placed his wrist over Mateo’s mouth and braced himself for the moment that his love turned. It was difficult to endure the guttural growls and screams of anguish but Giorno took solace in the fact that this would be the last time Mateo would ever have to experience a pain like this, or have to worry about being injured.

After a moment of struggling Mateo started to calm down, and Giorno had pulled out an ornate vial from his pocket. Mateo’s eyes had taken on an amber hue and his fangs had started to protrude as well. Giorno had cradled his head lifting it slightly, coaxing him to drink the contents of the vial.

“I’m sorry caro, it's an acquired taste but vital to our survival… how are you feeling?” asked Giorno with a tender voice as he helped Mateo to sit up and smoothed back his hair.

“It’s not the taste… I just thought this was the part where we both go hunting for some unsuspecting young thing and double team her…”

“You’re reprehensible, you know that! Here I am, on the verge of-” before Giorno could complete his rant Mateo captured his lips in a passionate kiss.

“Thank you Giorno… I know this wasn’t easy for you” Mateo pulled Giorno into an embrace before the blonde could protest, he continued, “neither of us will ever have to worry about being alone now, right?”

“Right.”

[whatthehelltimespell]

Only Time Will Tell: Chapter Twenty-One

Title: Only Time Will Tell

 Chapter 21/? 

Chapter Summary: Everything seems normal until they go in the basement.

Over the next few days, Langdon did not come back to help Michael with learning how to read minds or feel other people's feelings, but Elizabeth had expected that after their small confrontation on the porch. She didn't know if Langdon had changed his mind about Christmas or not, but it was only a few days away, and she knew she wanted to do something for him.

It was true that she hadn't bought him anything; she hadn't bought Michael anything either. She thought the dinner would be enough, and she was going to enjoy having Michael help her. He'd probably like helping too because he'd be able to sample everything, especially the apple pie filling.

The morning after she and Langdon had gotten into it, she woke Michael up around eight and made a small breakfast.

"Hey, Michael?"

"Hm?" He looked up from a bite of egg and toast.

"I'm going to ask you something and I want your honest opinion. Don't just say yes because you think I want you to."

Michael put his fork down and sat up straighter.

"I was wondering how you would feel if I invited Langdon to move in here. I have space in the basement if I move around some stuff."

"He hasn't really acted like he wants to move in here."

"That is true," she admitted. "But I think part of that stems from him thinking we don't want him here. If we provide a place for him, he might start to feel wanted. I'm just wondering because we could start cleaning it out now and then on Christmas we can show him, if he still decides to come. As long as you don't overexert yourself, you can help by using your powers."

Michael perked up a little, but showed concern also, and she knew why. He didn't know if it was smart for him to use his telekinesis without Langdon being there. In fact, Langdon had told them not to, but she trusted Michael to know when too much was enough now.

"I don't mind him being here. I don't think he will hurt us."

"Neither do I. I wouldn't invite him to stay if I did." ----------

They started cleaning the basement that day, but Elizabeth had to work so it was pretty late. She also had to pick up a few crates so they could pack the stuff up first. Michael didn't have to use his powers for that at all, because nothing was too heavy.

Elizabeth was surprised by some of the stuff she found down there – like clothes she'd thought she'd left at home or lost during the move there, but also books from when she was younger and a few photo albums, mostly of her friends and some of her sister – and decided she would go through some of the stuff later. There were even a few boardgames. She'd brought them with her because she'd liked them, not really because she'd had any real thought of playing them.

Maybe now that Michael was living with her, she could teach him to play some of them. He'd probably like them. He actually put a box of games to the side when he found the one that contained boards for checkers and chess, the pieces in a bag along with them. She could play checkers okay, but she sucked at chess. She didn't have the patience for it.

"We can put the games in the closet in your room," she told Michael. "Just go through the ones that you want. Maybe we can give the rest away or something."

They continued going through the basement until around seven, and then they stopped to have dinner, which was frozen pizza. It was something easy and she knew Michael would eat it.

They watched an older movie called Monster Squad about a bunch of kids saving the world from monsters. It was one of Elizabeth's favorites from when she was a kid. Michael liked it but not as much as Harry Potter. Speaking of which, they were almost done with the third book and could soon watch the third movie.

The third movie was Elizabeth's favorite, so she hoped Michael enjoyed it. ---------- Later that night, after Elizabeth was done reading their nightly chapter, Michael brought up something he'd been wondering about since he'd agreed they should ask Langdon to stay with them.

"You won't forget about me if he says yes, will you?"

"What?"

"Well, he will need your help too. Maybe even more than me because he didn't have you to help him before and he's not used to it."

"Michael, I can help you both at the same time. And I could never forget about you."

"You'll still read to me every night?"

"Of course. We still have four books to go. We can't just stop in the middle," she teased. "We'll still talk and play games, and you'll still learn to do new things. The only thing that will be different is that Langdon will be here . . . if he decides to stay."

They had finished the last chapter of the third Harry Potter book. It had been even more drama-filled than the other two, Michael thought. Harry had found out he had a godfather, had found out that said godfather had been the reason his parents had died, and then had found out that that wasn't true at all. His friend, Ron, had had a pet rat named Scabbers, who was actually a wizard that could turn into an animal, and he had been the reason Harry's parents had been killed. It had been interesting, to say the least.

Michael still didn't like Snape or the Dursley's.

Hermione was probably his favorite. She reminded him of Elizabeth a little bit. He could see her being a Hermione when she'd gone to school, smart and clever, resourceful. So of course Hermione was his favorite.

"What's the next book about?" he asked as she got up to put the third one on his shelf.

"Well, I don't want to give anything away, but it's mostly about a tournament that's being held at Hogwarts. There are dragons and mermaids, a maze near the end."

"Dragons are awesome," Michael said. "They can shoot fire out of their mouth."

Elizabeth smiled. "I think I'll stick to dogs and cats. With my luck, I'd be the one it was shooting fire at."

Michael settled more into his bed. "What're we doing tomorrow? The basement still?"

"Probably a little bit. Not all day. We might could drop some of the stuff off at a Goodwill or something, just to get out of the house a little bit."

"That would be good."

"Okay. Good night, Michael."

"Night, Miss Elizabeth." ---------- Once Elizabeth got to her room, she read a few chapters of the Bible, a habit she had formed ever since she'd first begun to read it. It had become part of her routine to read a chapter of the current Harry Potter book to Michael and then go to her room to read the Bible to herself. Now that she knew Michael really was the Anti-Christ – or had been branded as such – she wasn't so sure him hearing the words and having them burn his ears had been in his head at all; the words might actually hurt him.

All she'd gotten from the Bible so far was that there had been just as much if not more war back in Biblical times than there was even now. It was pretty much God's people against everyone else. The wars were mostly about land matters.

There was nothing about how to defeat the entity in her house. There was also nothing about how to help Michael or Langdon. There was, however, a rule about not using witchcraft.

She wasn't sure what Michal was doing was witchcraft. He wasn't casting spells or lighting candles or doing anything outside the abilities he had been born with. It wasn't his fault he could do things other people couldn't.

What Langdon did, however, was probably witchcraft – rituals, summoning the devil – or trying to – time-traveling . . . definitely witchcraft.

It wasn't until after she'd finished reading for the night and was in the bathroom actually getting ready for bed that she began to feel the strange oppressive force that she'd come to know as the entity in her house. It wasn't with her exactly, but she could feel that it was going to become active. It wanted its presence known.

She heard a few thumps coming from near the kitchen so she went to check after she was done with her nightly routine. There was nothing wrong in the kitchen, so she wasn't sure what it was that she had heard.

"Let's not start this again," she said. "I'll even say please if it'll make you go away."

Honestly, it was late and she just wanted to sleep. She didn't receive a reply and nothing seemed out of place, so she went back to her room. She wasn't going to invite trouble in by actually challenging the thing that was haunting her house when it didn't seem to be threatening her or Michael. ---------- The next morning everything seemed normal. Elizabeth got up, fixed breakfast, waking Michael up with the smell of bacon frying. He came in, bed hair all over the place. He plopped into one of the chairs and began rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand.

"Did you sleep well?" she asked.

"I kept hearing things."

"Me too. But no one was attacked, so that's a step up."

Michael gave her a small smile that was interrupted by a fresh-out-of-bed yawn.

"What was it?" he asked.

"I don't know. I got up to check in here, but I didn't see anything that would've caused the noise."

She quickly fried up some eggs as well so they could have bacon and egg sandwiches and then put them on plates after fixing them up. She placed one of the plates in front of Michael and then one at the place she would be sitting.

"You still want to go to Good Will today?"

"Sure." He took a bite of his sandwich and began chewing. After he swallowed, he asked if they could watch the third Harry Potter movie while eating dinner that night.

"Of course," she said. "That's my favorite one."

"I like the second one the best so far," Michael said.

"Wait until you see the hippogriff. It's great."

After breakfast Elizabeth went out just to see what the weather was going to be like. There was a pretty strong breeze going, so it was a little chilly, but nothing major. She'd probably go for a jog later, once they got back from Good Will.

She went back inside, told Michael to go get dressed to go out, and then headed to the basement so she could figure out what exactly they could donate that day. When she opened the door, however, it didn't take long for her to figure out what exactly she'd been hearing the night before.

All the boxes she and Michael had filled up and set up so they could get to them easily were now toppled over and the items had been strown across the floor.

She sighed, feeling only vaguely irritated, and said, "Seriously? Why?"

Didn't the Devil have something better to do with his time? Something other than wrecking her house.

When Michael made his way downstairs, he stopped at the bottom and said, "What happened?"

"Our uninvited guest has made his presence known once again." She shook her head. "You wanna help? You can probably do it faster with your powers than if we did it by hand."

Michael nodded and grinned before stopping and scrunching up his nose. "You don't think it'll make him mad?"

"Do it because it might make him mad."

"I'm not the one he hurts when he gets mad," Michael said softly. "Are you sure?"

She nodded. "We can at least get rid of this stuff today and then he won't be able to make a mess out of it again."

There was still plenty that could be made a mess of, but at least the basement wouldn't have so much clutter once some of it was gone. ---------- Elizabeth and Michael dropped the boxes off as they had planned but they went to a nearby park instead of going straight back home. They hadn't gotten out of the house just to get out in a while – mostly because they didn't think it would be allowed, but Elizabeth was willing to test boundaries because she was pretty sure the entity in her house had already learned that Michael would never do what he wanted if she was ever actually seriously hurt by it.

There was a baseball game going on when they got to the park, but instead of sitting on the bleachers to watch they walked outside the fenced-in area. They paid attention enough to make sure a stray ball wasn't going to come over and hit one of them, but that was it.

They mostly talked about the holiday coming up. She'd already told Michael that she had never really been big on celebrating because her family had never been. Michael had only had a few Christmases to pull memories from, but he remembered presents and food but no real change of atmosphere at Constance's house.

"Did you have a Christmas tree?"

"Yeah. She put the hooks on the ornaments and helped put them on."

"Do you want a tree this year?"

Christmas was only a few days away, so it might be hard finding one, but maybe they could get a smaller one.

"I mean, it might be fun," Michael said. "But we don't have to."

She told him her idea about getting a smaller tree and he seemed okay with it, so once they'd made their way around the fence and back to the parking lot, the got in the car and started off for the store.

Elizabeth was the one who turned the radio on. Michael had never seemed to take an interest in music, but he didn't mind listening to it with her in the car.

A song by Queen came on and she began singing along with it. Michael didn't sing with her – he probably didn't know the song, to be fair – but a big smile formed on his face as he listened and watched her trying to hit notes that she couldn't.

Singing badly was worth it if it made him smile like that. ---------- Michael stuck by Elizabeth when they got to the store. He normally did that anyway, but it was busier than normal, so he stayed as close as he could get to her. Even though he got out more with Elizabeth than he had with his gramma, he still didn't like crowds. Too many people made him nervous and he wasn't sure if it had to do with his age or if he just didn't like being around all the commotion crowds usually brought.

Elizabeth seemed to know exactly where she was going, though, so at least they probably wouldn't have to be there long. The aisles were packed with people, and not all of them had the decency to park their carts on the sides. A lot of people were blocking the middle, so it was like a maze trying to make it to where they wanted to be.

They finally made it to the Christmas tree section and Elizabeth pointed out that they needed just a small tree. There were bigger ones, but Michael pointed out one that was only six feet tall and it had white lights that came with it, already attached. It wouldn't take that much work to decorate it.

Speaking of decorating, Elizabeth let him pick out a few boxes other than the normal baubles that would go on. He picked out a box of bells, a box of candy canes – real ones so they could eat them after they took them back off – and a box of Christmas themed ornaments that came with a few Santa Clauses and a few reindeer.

"Okay, so star or angel?"

Elizabeth was holding one in each hand and Michael pointed to the star. He guessed it didn't really matter. The angel kind of looked like a doll, anyway.

Elizabeth picked up a box of hooks for the ornaments once they had what they wanted.

Having everything they needed, they made their way to the front of the store so Elizabeth could pay for their things. One of the workers helped them with the tree, which was nice, and then once they had been checked through the register Michael helped her take it to the car.

Michael was surprised they didn't have a problem putting the tree box in the car, but it fit in without a problem and then the boxes of ornaments were placed on the floorboard.

"How about we decorate tonight? After dinner and the movie."

He nodded enthusiastically as he agreed that would be the perfect thing for them to do that night.

He wondered how the Christmas tree would look in the living room and where they would put it. He also wondered if Elizabeth would actually have fun doing this since she'd admitted to never really celebrating Christmas before.

[avengersassemble-fics]

New Perspective

part 04/?? “the bitter pill i swallow”

masterlist

previous part // next part

word count 4.4k

an: jwnbrgojb;enrj the reveal you’ve all been waiting for ljneragvjn;.. on a serious note, this is a warning for those who are going to proceed with reading. there is a topic in here that may be triggering for some, i.e. complications faced during pregnancy. there’s not too much detail but please don’t read if that will harm you okay?? all respect here, all love, and inbox is always open.

Getting back into the swing of things was harder than you had expected. Tony welcomed you back to your job with open arms just as he promised, and your office was left untouched from the last time you had been in it, but everything was different when you returned. It took you up until this very moment to feel as if you had a good enough grasp on things to relax into the day to day life at Stark Publishing. Thankfully, you had Wanda and Natasha to get you through the last two months.

When you told them your “big news”, they were ecstatic. You had never seen Nat on the brink of tears like that a day in your life, and it was in all honesty the most wonderful thing you had ever seen. Wanda on the other hand thought it was excellent blackmail material. She insisted on free coffee everyday or else she’d tell Clint all about her sobs, and so far, two months later, Wanda happily sips away at her coffee everyday.

Another consistent support you had over the last two months was… Steve. Steve had started to spend more and more time with your neighbor, Sharon, and it was now a nightly ritual for you both to occupy the rooftop together. As things were about to begin with your divorce hearings, having these people in your life was very nice. Even Steve with his sometimes not funny jokes, and surprisingly calm demeanour. If you had to admit it, you did look forward to your nightly talks with him. He was turning out to be a nice unexpected friend.

After his stay at your place, Steve had grown more comfortable with you (if that was even possible). You watched over the next two months as he relaxed into this routine, and relaxed into himself. The tight suits and perfect hair grew to casual clothing and a bit longer locks both on his head and face, and honestly? It was a look. And you let him know that.

“I like this look on you,” you told him casually. You rested beside him, the top of the patio day bed pushed back to expose the sky. Though there were no stars in the city, you still liked to imagine it. One hand rested on your stomach while the other stroked the cushion beneath you, and Steve rested in a similar position, arm under his head and he glanced your way.

“What look?” He asked with a raised brow. You glanced his way and smiled.

“Only way I can describe it is.. Lumberjack.”

“Lumberjack,” Steve repeated and laughed. You chuckled beside him and looked back up at the sky. “It’s my secret y’know. The beard just works wonders.”

“Yeah whatever,” you joked with him. Steve smiled up at the sky before you suddenly grabbed his hand.

“What is it?” Steve questioned while he sat up. You didn’t answer him right away and he grabbed your hand with his other one. “Angel, what’s going-”

“Steve shut up,” you told him. Steve watched as you pulled your hand cupped with both of his and placed them over your slightly grown belly. Your hands went over his and guided them to a spot and he glanced your way. “Just wait.”

Steve nodded a bit and you kept your hands over his. His fingers fanned open over your belly and then he suddenly felt it. A kick, a flutter. It impacted his palm and you let out a quiet gasp. Steve felt something harden at the back of his throat, but he kept his hand over the spot until the flutter happened again.

“Holy shit,” he mumbled. You chuckled and nodded your head in agreement. You were happily shocked, your last few visits the doctor had been worried about the development of the baby, but you were glad you held onto that hope. Steve watched while you had the sweetest smile on your face as you squeezed onto his hand. “Was that the first time?”

“Yes,” you breathed. Steve grinned a bit and looked back down to your belly. When no other movements occured Steve carefully flipped his hand over so his fingers laced together with yours, and he watched as you met his gaze.

“I’m glad I could be here with you,” he admitted. You smiled over at him and he could see the hint of tears in your eyes. “Gives me bragging right over your other friends.”

You laughed, and took your hand from his to push yourself up. Steve stood and offered you his hand, and you took it willingly. Steve pulled you up and his hand lingered together with yours, looking over your body and taking the sight of you in. You noticed, and you let him do this, but you chalked it up to your current state. Steve himself had said he’d never been around a pregnant woman before. Steve squeezed on your hand and offered a sad smile. “Is this goodnight?”

“Afraid so, Rogers,” you told him. Steve nodded and you couldn’t help but lift your hand up to his face and rubbed your hand over his beard. Steve felt his breath hitch in his chest at the sudden contact, but just watched your eyes trail over his face. “I can see the appeal.”

“Is that so?” He asked, and he could have sworn it came out in a whisper. You showed no hesitation or concern over his tone of voice, instead you dragged your hand back down his face before removing it completely and offered him a smile.

“Maybe,” you replied. Steve shook his head and gave your hand a final squeeze before you backed away from him. “Will I see you tomorrow?”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Steve said. You smiled and turned back to your own apartment, and Steve watched you pull it open, glance his way, and offer a final wave. Then, like every night for the last four months, you disappeared. Steve stood there and ran a hand through his hair, before he made his way back to the skylight that led to Sharon’s apartment, and he too disappeared down the steps.

Steve started staying over at Sharon’s shortly after the night he shared with you. Though it was hard at first to resist the itch that overcame him as he laid beside her, he grew more and more accustomed to it. Then, Mondays through Fridays, he would hear your alarm go off at 6 AM sharp, and it would pull him from his slumber. He would listen as you padded around the one bedroom apartment before leaving shortly after seven. Then, he would get up and if Sharon was still asleep, he would leave too. This was nearly everyday now, and Steve was beginning to wonder how much longer he could do this until Sharon began to get a more serious idea.

So he laid here in the dark, one arm tucked under his head and the other resting over his chest. Sharon slept peacefully next to him and Steve went over the endless train of thoughts that came over him every night. It was something Bucky had said to him a few weeks ago, and Steve began to drift off into that memory.

Steve watched humorously as Bucky essentially was getting his ass chewed out by his divorce attorney, Sam Wilson. He stifled back his laughs as he sipped away on a beer and watched from a barstool in the kitchen. Bucky sat as his lawyer walked around the large dining table in the room and stared down at the documents before him. Sam was going over some details, trying to drill something into Steve’s stubborn friends head. Steve looked back at his laptop, and read over the words he had just typed.

Steve hadn’t touched this in months. The story of Peggy Carter. He had only gotten a few lines in before he found himself stuck staring at the screen, before hearing the sound of an altercation in the dining area. Steve looked over to see Sam hitting Bucky over the head with a newspaper.

“I told you to focus, Barnes,” Sam said. Each hit Bucky tried to reach for the rolled up newspaper and missed each grasp he tried at. “Coulson and your ex wife are about to take you on a fucking ride, and you need to be prepared.”

“You’re telling me there’s nothing you can do to ease this up?” Bucky asked. Steve had never seen him under such distress, but this divorce was starting to take its toll on him. It was such a drastic change from being around you, you seemed oddly calm now about it. He hoped your experience was going better than his friends.

“Lets see Barnes. You had an affair, which already makes you an asshole in the eyes of the courts, and now with a kid on the way we’re looking at custody hearings-”

“I said I-I didn’t want anything to do with the kid,” Bucky interjected and Sam grumbled and smacked him upside the head again. Steve had to hold back his laughter.

“You’re a fucking clown, Barnes. You’ve managed to do everything wrong.”

Bucky glared at his attorney and slapped his files shut. “This obviously isn’t going to change overnight. Please get the fuck out.”

“Gladly,” Sam said. Steve watched him pack his things up and Bucky walked him to the door. Once it clicked shut Bucky hovered near it, and slammed his hand against the door. Steve took a sip of his drink as Bucky walked over to the other side of the bar, and settled onto a barstool opposite his friend. When Bucky didn’t offer any words, Steve spoke first.

“Your ex is pregnant?” Steve asked. Bucky rubbed a hand over his face and sighed.

“That’s.. What she came to talk to me about,” Bucky admitted. Steve nodded a bit and closed his laptop. “Connie doesn’t want me involved.”

“Do you want to be involved?” Steve asked. He watched a small smile break over his friend's face.

“Of course I do, Steve. My kid after all,” Bucky said. Steve looked over his friend and shook his head.

“What exactly happened? Between you two?”

Bucky’s smile fell quickly when he asked that. His eyes moved over the countertop as he processed Steve’s question, and it took him a while to reply. “On the outside looking in, things were perfect. The perfect life. Perfect apartment, perfect wife, sex life was perfect.. But there was.. There was always something missing.

“It was all too perfect. Everyday it was just her and me. Me and her. We got up, ate together, got ready for work together, left for work, then came home and it was the same thing. Everyday. I was her whole world and it.. It fucking bugged me, Steve.”

“I hate to break it to you, Buck, but that’s marriage. You spend your lives together,” Steve said. Bucky shook his head almost immediately.

“Not like that. She needed me.. All the time. It was suffocating. It was always Mr. and Mrs. James Barnes. I wasn’t me anymore. She wasn’t herself. She wasn’t the woman I fell in love with,” Bucky said. Steve frowned as his friend spoke.

“I wish I could’ve been there,” Steve said. “Maybe I could’ve warned you before marrying the girl.”

Bucky laughed and shook his head. “You were busy in London, I understood,” he smiled across at his friend. “She needed you more than I did.”

Steve didn’t reply right away and Bucky sighed a bit. He watched as Steve rubbed over his laptop and he leaned up against the counter. “Steve, be honest with me.. Are you.. Seeing someone new?”

“What? What do you mean?” Steve asked quickly. Bucky fought back a grin and nodded over at him.

“Look at you, man. You’re so.. Carefree. You. I haven’t seen you like this since before your parents passed. So what is it?”

Steve thought over Bucky’s words. He shifted uncomfortably in his chair and sighed a bit. “I don’t know, Buck.. I met this.. Incredible person. She’s perfect. I was drawn to her the moment I met her,” he said. Bucky smiled a bit at his friend.

“So.. What’s the problem?”

“That’s just not my life anymore,” Steve said. “I can’t be the person she needs me to be. But I can’t stop thinking about her.”

Steve laughed at his own confession. Bucky looked over his friend and offered a smile. “You’re a good guy, Steve. And I’m sure she’d be happy with who you are. Not some idea you think she needs.”

Steve heard crying. He was 100% positive he heard crying. It wasn’t sad crying, it was terrified crying. He shot up from the bed he laid in and Sharon stirred beside him. He could make out his name from her lips but he was more so focused on the cries. And they came from the opposite side of the wall. Steve sprung out of bed and grabbed his things quickly, slid his shoes on, had his phone and keys in his hand, and couldn’t even begin to process the increased crying. Sharon called for him in her daze, but he was out the door without a second thought. Steve hurried over to the next door and paused.

The crying was coming from you and Steve’s heart beat rapidly in his chest. He didn’t even think twice before shoving his shoulder into the door, and it opened in a swift motion. He could barely see through the darkness, but he knew the way to your room easily from that one visit. When he pushed open your bedroom door the crying halted, replaced by heavy breaths and he could make your outline out on the bed.

“S-Steve?” you small voice called out. You were terrified, and Steve rushed to your side.

“I’m here,” he reassured you. He reached out for you and you winced, and he looked you over frantically. “What’s wrong? What do you need?”

“The baby,” you managed. He could see the tears running down your face. “S-Something is wrong. The baby-”

“I got you, doll,” he said. Steve wrapped your arm around his shoulder and he slid his arms under you and carefully picked you up. When you were up in his arms, Steve saw the dark marking that covered your sheets, and a knot formed in his stomach.

Steve hadn’t been inside a hospital for the longest time. Not since his mother passed. When he had finally gotten you here, and they wheeled you away on a gurney, Steve couldn’t stop pacing the hallway. There was no surgery from what they had told him, but beyond that since he wasn’t family he had no other information. The hallway was relatively empty, besides the occasional nurse or doctor, and Steve finally sat himself into a chair. His leg bounced in anticipation, and he rubbed his hands together as his mind raced. He hoped for the best. You had grown so excited to finally have a child, and he didn’t know how you’d take it if.. If that was taken away.

“I’m looking for my wife,” a voice said down the hallway. Steve continued to rub his hands together and closed his eyes to focus on his thoughts. “Her name is (Y/N)? Barnes?”

Steve froze. The nurse at the station motioned down the hallways behind Bucky and he nodded his thanks, turning around to head down that way when his eyes landed on his friend. Bucky took a couple steps down the hall before stopping ahead of his friend, and shuffled to a stop. “Steve?”

Steve didn’t reply. He rubbed his hands together and slowly started to shake his head. How couldn’t he have put the pieces together?.. You married his best friend. You were divorcing his best friend. You were pregnant with his child. Bucky’s child. Bucky’s wife. Soon-to-be-ex.. And Bucky said all those terrible things about you.. And Steve saw how each thing his friend did hurt you. So Steve closed his eyes as Bucky spoke again.

“What are you doing here, Steve?” He asked. Bucky looked over his friend in confusion. Steve stood suddenly and met his gaze, and Bucky raised his brow at his fuming expression. “What-”

“(Y/N),” Steve stated. The use of your name made Bucky freeze, and Steve scoffed. “You’re telling me that the ‘cold-hearted, empty, soul-sucking’ ex wife, that you’ve been bitching to me about.. Is (Y/N)?”

“What the fuck do you know about her?” Bucky asked. Steve rolled his eyes.

“More than you do, Buck,” Steve stated. “Because the woman I know is nothing like that.”

“You-” Bucky trailed off when it clicked in his mind. His expression fell to a scowl, and he shifted his weight from one foot to another. “That’s who you were telling me about.. The perfect woman.. My fucking wife?”

Steve took a step closer, closing the space between his friend and him, narrowing his eyes with his. Bucky didn’t falter his glare, and the two men stared at one another in confusion. Anger, and something else neither of them could place in that moment. Steve finally spoke lowly. “She’s not your wife anymore. You didn’t want to be a part of this... So I suggest you leave.”

Bucky looked over him and finally shook his head before he took a step back. “I was wrong. She’ll never be happy with who you are.”

Bucky’s words cut deeply, but Steve didn’t falter. Bucky finally moved first by taking a couple steps back, eyes never leaving his friend, before he shoved his hands into his pockets and turned away and went back the way he came. Steve let out a pent up sigh and unclenched his fists, his body hot in anger. He sat back down and rubbed at his face, reeling at everything running through his mind now.

He was stupid. How could he have not put the pieces together? The timelines worked perfectly well with one another. The courting, the engagement, the fucking wedding. If he had gone to that goddamn wedding he would’ve met you, he would’ve known from the beginning. Steve let out another sigh at the thought, at the realization he had.

He was in love with his best friend's wife.

Steve knew it. Deep down he had the inkling for a while now, maybe when you took his breath away that first night. Maybe it solidified when you helped him through his panic attack, the way you looked at him with such concern and treated him like a goddamn person, not just something to bag in bed. Whenever it happened, it happened. And he wouldn’t be anywhere else at this moment.

Footsteps echoed down the hallway and Steve looked up from the ground he could’ve stared a hole in. A doctor headed straight for him, and he stood quickly, and ruffled his hair a bit when they came near. The doctor put their hands into the pockets of their jacket and looked him over a bit.

“Mr. Barnes?” She asked him. Steve opened his mouth a bit to answer but nothing came out. He knew if he said no, there was no way he was getting into that room with you, or getting any information. So Steve nodded his head. “She’s waking up.. I think she’d like to see you.”

Steve nodded again when no words came out. The doctor offered a smile and motioned for Steve to follow. The pit in his stomach, the anger in his body, it all faded away when the doctor pushed the door to the hospital room open, and his eyes laid on you. “Mrs. Barnes, your husband is here to see you.”

He could see the shock that appeared on your face, but when you looked over to see Steve walk in it turned into confusion. You watched him come near and Steve pulled the chair in the corner of the room over right beside the bed, and he sat in it. He didn’t even hesitate to grab a hold of your hand, and you just watched him. Steve hoped this was ok, his being here, him holding your hand. His worry faded away when you squeezed his hand tightly, and he placed another one over your hand to rub against your skin.

The doctor came a bit closer to the bed, and it pulled your attention away from Steve to her. From the solemn expression on the doctor’s face, Steve knew what news was coming. All he could do was be here for you. By the look on your face, you knew too, but she still had to say the words for you.

“What happened,” you asked quietly. The doctor glanced over at Steve who gave her a nod to tell her.

“You experienced what’s called intrauterine growth restrictions,” she said. Your eyes looked down to your body, and Steve watched your face to gauge your thoughts. “The baby wasn’t growing at the rate she needed to be.. Unfortunately her oxygen levels dropped what we can guess was yesterday afternoon.”

“She?” Steve asked. Your head had snapped up at his question. The doctor nodded.

“The baby was a girl,” the doctor confirmed.

Was. The word hung heavily in the room and Steve watched as your lip began to tremble. He stood from his place and eased himself onto the edge of the bed, and you wasted no time in throwing yourself into his body. The soft cries you let out broke his heart, and he hugged you close to him. Every tremble, every grip to pull him closer, Steve felt it. He squeezed his eyes shut as tears threatened his own eyes, and stroked your head against his chest to get a focus on something.

Steve stayed with you that night, and all the others until you were released and ok’d to go home. Steve stayed with you while you readjusted to your apartment, and even made you some food. Steve hadn’t cooked in the longest time, and he knew that, but you didn’t say anything. You still offered a small and sad smile, and told him thank you. It wasn’t until he opened the door and two women stood there in confusion did he know it was time for him to go.

They had nearly glued themselves to your side, and Steve cleaned up the kitchen, slowly. He needed to linger, because the thought of what he needed to do next was too much for him at that point. He needed to listen to your voice a bit more as you replied to your friends, and when it finally came time for him to grab his own things, one of the women was by his side.

“So you’re Steve,” her silky voice said. Steve was sliding his arms through his jacket, and gave the red head a nod.

“I’m Steve,” he replied. She looked him over and gave him an approving nod.

“I’m Natasha, that’s Wanda,” she motioned back to the couch. “I just wanted to say.. Thank you. For being there with her.”

“I.. I wouldn’t have been anywhere else,” Steve said in a low voice. He took a couple steps through the kitchen to the front door and Natasha stepped in front of him, placing her own hand on the handle.

“Is that why you’ve been seeing the neighbor so much?” She asked in almost a whisper. Steve straightened up at her question, not letting anything show on his face. “To stay close by?”

Steve didn’t offer a reply, and Nat nodded to herself. It was all she needed to know. So she pulled open the door and stepped to the side, and Steve stared at her for a couple moments before walking out the door, and looked to Sharon’s. The red head stepped closer to the door frame and watched him for a moment, before speaking once more. “James told me.. About the hospital.”

Steve looked over at her once more, and she shrugged. “I’m not going to tell her what happened, but if you don’t.. He will, Steve.”

And with that, your door was closed. Steve looked back to Sharon’s door and took a deep breath before going over and knocking. He knew what he needed to do, what had to be done to protect you in this fragile state. You had your friends now, and it was time for Steve to go. So, he had the very uncomfortable (and very angry on Sharon’s behalf) conversation about ending things. She threw insults his way, and he just took it all. The only words he offered her was that she was right, and he was sorry. Because Steve was. He shouldn’t have done that, he knew it, but he just.. He needed a reason to be near you. But he couldn’t do that anymore. So she threw him out and slammed the door behind him, and Steve made his way to the stairs.

“I’m guessing I won’t be seeing you up there anymore?”

Your voice made him freeze on the second step down. Steve was hoping, praying, that he would make a clean getaway. But you just opened your door silently, and when he turned around you stood outside your place and watched him. Steve looked you over and took the two steps back up, and slowly made his way over. “I’m afraid so, angel.”

You stared at him and shook your head gently. Steve felt as if his world was coming tumbling down around him at your softened expression. “You could.. Still come my way.”

Steve pursued his lips together, and slowly he shook his head. “I’m afraid it’s the end of the line for us.”

Though he could see the tears that began to form in your eyes, you nodded anyway. Steve moved his hands up to cup your face and you watched him do so. You didn’t move, didn’t flinch, but your eyes fluttered shut as he head came down, and he placed a slow kiss on your forehead. Steve lingered there when you placed your hands on his arms, but he pulled away. Not just his body, but himself. He took a couple steps backwards and offered a final smile.

“I’ll see you around, angel.”

- - - - - - - - - -

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[atamascolily]

Shield of Lies, continued.

What would my mother think of me? he wondered, and it was the first time such a thought had ever confronted him.

Luke, you really suck at introspection, don’t you? Like... NEVER in TEN YEARS have you EVER wondered about your mother? Sigh.

Shortly after the reorganization of the government, Nanaod Engh had given Luke keys to most of the real treasures of the New Republic—the central data libraries maintained by various branches of the General Ministry. Thanks to Admiral Ackbar’s intervention, Luke also carried the highest-grade security clearance held by any civilian.

Between the two, Luke had—potentially—a great deal of information at his fingertips. But the access he had been granted was a courtesy, not a necessity. Luke’s most urgent curiosities were in areas of little interest to bureaucracies, and he had never found reason to make much use of the favors extended him.

But he found himself with reason now.

Speaking of lack of imagination.... SIGH.

Luke returned to the pilot’s couch and curled up sideways in it. “How do people become part of the circle?”

“Curiosity is not sufficient—which I hazard you know. Some are born to it. Some come to it. Is it any different in your discipline?”

“Born with the gift, do you mean, or born to someone who already belongs, to a trained adept?”

“Is the gift not in the blood?”

“Sometimes it seems that way. Sometimes it seems as if the talent goes wild, almost as if the Force chooses its own,” Luke said, turning on his back and propping one foot on the control panel.

“Why, what do you mean?”

“Look at the way the Jedi are coming back,” said Luke. “The Empire hunted us so relentlessly that most everyone who escaped thought they were the only Jedi left. But it isn’t just that a few solitaries who were hiding have resurfaced. I’ve found students with no family history whatsoever, in species that were never represented before in the Order.”

“Some of your number may have been adventurous travelers,” said Akanah. “On Carratos, I heard many jokes about how the Emperor spent his evenings. If a Jedi sleeps alone, surely it must be by choice, as it is with you.”

LOL, Akanah doesn’t know about Callista. Or Gaeriel. Or anything else about Luke’s messed-up love life.

“Are you saying that you expected me to warm a bed with you?” Luke said. “I didn’t think that was our bargain.”

“No,” she said. “I never expected that.”

“Then what are you saying?”

“That Luke Skywalker could have a hundred children by now. A thousand.”

“That’s crazy.”

“No—that’s the simple truth. There are different rules for heroes and royalty, and you’re seen as a little of both. You can’t be unaware of that.”

Luke frowned and looked away. “I don’t know how to be a father to one child, much less a thousand.”

“You wouldn’t need to know,” she said. “Their mothers wouldn’t expect it. They would be grateful enough for the gift.”

“I’d expect it of me,” he said, and firmly steered the conversation back on course. “We were talking about my being an honorary member of the circle—”

Again, I’m surprised by Luke’s lack of imagination--and offers--given how people at the spaceport viewed him. Did none of them really think, “I would totally bang this dude?” WHY IS HE SO SURPRISED?

Also Luke, just say “fuck,” it’s okay, I promise.

“We were talking about my being an honorary member of the circle—”

“Not honorary,” she corrected. “Novice.”

“Novice, then. But there’s an exception in your oath for people like me?”

“Every adept has the right to judge and the duty to teach,” she said. “I’ve made my judgment.”

“And the rest?” Luke asked. “We’ve had many hours together—why haven’t you started to teach me?”

“But I have,” she said. “I’ve asked you to think about what you know and believe. To go beyond that, the novice must ask for the door to be opened. But you aren’t ready to think of yourself as a student again—not yet. You run too well and easily to go back to crawling.”

#accurate. Luke spends most of this book so convinced he knows everything and yet he can’t figure out why he’s so stuck in a rut.

“No,” Luke said, shaking his head. “To be a Jedi is to be a seeker. A Jedi is always learning. It’s only on the dark side that one becomes obsessed with knowing, and impressed with doing.”

“There’s a touch of the dark side,” Akanah said slowly, “in the way you cling to the privilege of killing, and resist the teaching I’ve offered you. A hint of a mind that has settled on answers and resents being challenged with new questions.”

Luke toyed with the lacing on his longshirt as he considered her words. “You may be right,” he said finally. “I found the Force at a time when what I needed was power. I wanted a weapon to protect my friends, not enlightenment. I was thinking of war against the Empire, not peace with the universe. Perhaps something of that lingers in how I see myself. I’ll think on it.”

“Good,” she said. “Your words give me hope. And hope is the beginning of everything worthwhile.”

I have no idea how the chronology lines up with the other plots and honestly it’s hard to care. This is the most interesting part of the book to me, and I’m STILL reeling at how late in the game this is.

He then took advantage of the open space inside the bay to work his first complete set of Jedi training drills since leaving Coruscant. Working both with and without his lightsaber, he patiently went through the complex exercises which brought him to a profound state of restful clarity.

It was in this state that he felt most keenly the truth and the wisdom of the simple words: There is no emotion; there is peace. There is no ignorance; there is knowledge. There is no passion; there is serenity. There is no death; there is the Force. The peace, the knowledge, and the serenity were gifts that came with his surrender to the Force and with his connection through the Force to all that was.

Sustaining that clarity was always the challenge. In the isolation of a Dagobah, the Jundland Wastes, or a hermitage on a frozen shore, an experienced Jedi could preserve that inner state indefinitely.

But the chaos of the real world was another matter. When ego returned, so did will. The surrender became tainted, the connection flawed. The clarity gradually slipped away under the continuous assault of elementary drives and passions. Even the greatest of the masters needed to perform the practice regularly lest they lose the discipline that made them what they were.

GAH. WHY IS IT ALWAYS DUALITY WITH YOU, KUBE-MCDOWELL? WHAT ABOUT  A MIDDLE WAY BETWEEN THE “TAINTED WORLD” AND “PURITY OF ISOLATION”. What about “entering the market-place with gift-bestowing hands”? And nothing ever stays the same “indefinitely”!!!!!

The drills were as much a test for the body as for the mind, and the docking bay’s newly sanitized shower brought a blissful peace to muscles that were telling Luke they had not been properly exercised in too long. He stood for a long time in the place where the six needle jets converged, letting the water flowing down his body become another meditation.

Yeah, maybe you should have thought of that in your hermitage-quarantine-sulk thing??

I’d forgotten about the bookstore full of Jedi forgeries!!! 

The offerings included Emperor Palpatine’s Principles of Power, a private publication for Imperial Moffs; the Sith book of offerings and rituals; the H’kig book of laws; and the secrets of forming Bilar-type claqa group-minds, among others—with a special discount if Luke took any three or more. Most of the documents were undoubtedly frauds, and none tempted Luke beyond idle curiosity over the skillfulness of the fraud.

And the Jabba’s palace re-creation OH MY GOODNESS:

But making his way to the outgate, Luke turned a corner and was taken aback by the brilliantly lit exterior of a club bar called Jabba’s Throne Room. Performing Nightly—The Original Max Rebo Band, said the scroll. Visit Jabba’s Guest Quarters with a Pleasure Slave. Face the Mighty Rancor in the Pit of Death—

Driven by an outraged curiosity, Luke joined the line and paid the membership charge without haggling. Inside, he descended a curving flight of stairs into a remarkably faithful copy of the throne room in Jabba’s desert palace on Tatooine. Some of the dimensions had been stretched to accommodate more tables in front of the bandstand and around the rancor pit, but the architecture and atmosphere were authentic.

“Why, it’s just like the Palace Museum,” [he] said to the tall and elegantly dressed Twi’lek barring the way at the bottom of the stairs.

“I’m afraid my master Jabba is away on business,” said the Bib Fortuna look-alike, nodding toward the empty dais. “But I’m having a little party in his absence, and I hope you’ll enjoy yourself.” His head-tails stirred in signal, and one of the scantily clad dancing girls hurried to him.

“Yes, Lord Fortuna,” the server said.

“Oola, this is a friend of mine,” said the major-domo. “Treat him well. Find him a seat at my best table.”

The same fiction was carried through everywhere else—an Ortolan keyboardist leading a jizz-wailer trio on the bandstand, the roaring of the rancor underfoot, an annoying Kowakian monkey-lizard skittering around the room stealing food and cackling rudely, even a carbon-frozen Han Solo hanging in the display alcove. But a busy kitchen was concealed down the corridor to the servant’s quarters, and the price card “Oola” left for him included various services available upstairs in the guest quarters and downstairs in Jabba’s dungeon.

It was tasteless and exploitative, but the music was surprisingly agreeable, the roast nerf was tantalizing, and the clientele was markedly more subdued than their counterparts out on the walks. [He] ordered a drink and the executioner’s cut of nerf, refused all other offers with a polite smile, and settled in to discover the truth quotient of The Secrets of the Jedi.

Shortly after his meal arrived, Luke’s consciousness was pricked by hearing a familiar name spoken at a nearby table: Leia’s. He looked up, fearing that the evening’s entertainment at Jabba’s Throne Room would be a dance by a slave-girl-Leia look-alike. But the band was on a break and the transparisteel dance platform over the rancor pit deserted.

I’m honestly surprised this isn’t at Galaxy’s Edge, tbh.

Shortly after, a holographic Jabba made an appearance on the dais above the main floor. That signaled the start of an elaborately scripted show that promised to involve not only “Bib Fortuna” and the dancers, but additional actors and the audience as well.

Luke took that as his cue to leave. His decision was affirmed when, climbing up the curving stairs to the street, he encountered the bounty hunter Boushh coming down them with an unconvincing Chewbacca in tow.

“Aren’t you a little short for a Wookiee?” he muttered under his breath as they passed.

LOL. Anyway, here’s some stuff on archives searches in the GFFA:

From Carratos he requested any information available from newsgrid, political, or police records on Akanah Norand Pell, Andras Pell, and Talsava. He sent the same query to Coruscant’s criminal records office and citizen registry and to the home offices of both the Coruscant Global Newsgrid and the New Republic Prime Newsgrid.

From the New Republic Reference Service, he requested a quickreport on naming conventions on Lucazec and Carratos, thinking he might parse another lead from the names in hand.

A second request to the same source asked for five-hundred-word excerpts from all matches on the key words “Fallanassi” and “White Current.” After a short debate with himself, and despite the pathetic and sensational inaccuracies of Secrets of the Jedi, Luke also contacted an information broker on Atzerri and paid a hundred credits for a search on the same keys.

He also requested a Current Terms & Conditions brochure from the chief librarian’s office on Obroa-skai. The library computers there were the only resource offering both a greater variety and a greater volume of records than those held by Coruscant.

But Obroa-skai’s generosity with its planetary treasure was limited. To protect against theft of the library, and to provide the resources needed to maintain it, accessing the records meant either going to Obroa-skai or hiring one of the library’s own trained contract researchers.

In either case, Obroa-skai was not a resource one turned to for quick answers. The official language of New Republic recordkeeping was Basic, and everything held by Coruscant was kept in one of several readily searchable data specifications. But the Obroa-skai library was a collection of primary documents, in ten thousand storage formats and uncountable languages. The most complete general index covered only fifteen percent of the library’s holdings, and all the specialty indexes combined added only a few percent to that.

Those were the principal reasons why the brochure—which Luke received within minutes of requesting it, as the first response to any of his inquiries—reported that a normal single-part library search was averaging eight days. The waiting list for terminal time was holding at fifteen days, and the backlog for contract researchers had climbed to seventy.

LOL. I should definitely use that in a fic at some point.

[two-wheeled-therapy]

It officially has been two weeks that I have been on the road. Honestly, the heat and humidity that we are hitting is taking its toll on us. By the time we get to the hotel at the end of a day we are worn out. But, that is part of the ride and we know to take it easy, hydrate often, and stop when needed . . . no need to push it . . . Right?

We left Puducah and continued our eastern trek. We picked up the Western Kentucky Parkway and from there found our way to the Blue Grass Parkway. Along the way, the official beginning of the end of the ride began. As I was leading, John pulled up along side of me then ahead and signaled to us to pull over to stop. We pulled off and he came back and pointed to the exit sign ahead of us and said, "This is the point of no return, I gotta do it . . ." Bob and I knew what "it" was. Today was his daughter's birthday, and she lived outside of , Chicago. The exit was to I-65, if he took that, he could be with his daughter in a few hours. No further explanation needed. We said our goodbyes and pulled off, waving as John headed off the Parkway and Bob and I continued on.

Family - it's a big thing. Bob got his Family time in Texas with his visit to his daughter and grand kids, I had some "Family" time at the start of this ride by staying with Will & Karen and visiting Lloyd and Gloria who were thriving through a very challenging time of their lives. While there is no shared blood there, they all are part of my Family. And it's important to make time for your Family.

Bob and I continued east through Kentucky and into West Virginia and briefly into Ohio. We had a goal, a place I have been trying to get to for about 13 years, a place that had been featured on Diners, Drive Ins, and Dives. We pushed it on the Interstate for a while and were making good time. Apparently, we didn't make good enough time. It was 4:06 PM when we pulled into the gravel parking lot of HillBilly Hot Dogs in Lasage, WV. I thought this would be the perfect way to wind down this Epic 6,000 mile journey. Unfortunately, they closed at 4:00 PM. . . We just missed it.

Sad, tired, and hungry we rode back down the road to a little Italian joint we had seen. The tables and chairs inside were all pushed to the side we asked if we could eat inside, and were told that technically they were';t open for inside dining, but they would let us pull up some chairs. We both ordered a sub which, while not the best food of the trip, Thanks to the heat, humidity, and how hungry we were, was the most satisfying food of the trip.

The rain was chasing Bob and I as we rode towards Clarksburg, WV. It briefly caught us after we stopped for gas for the final time and we were caught in moderate to heavy rain for a few minutes. We arrived in the last hotel of the trip, did our nightly ritual of unloading the bikes and covering them . . . and got ready for the final day of riding . . .

RIDE ON!

[duker42]

💜Cure for Insomnia💜 Part 2 of 2 Levi x Reader

💜Cure for Insomnia💜 Part 2 of 2

Part 1

Y/N’s POV:

He always looks younger than his age, but when he’s not frowning, it gives him an air of innocence. He has been asleep for the last three hours. His breathing is steady, rhythmic. I have quietly observed him since falling asleep. Not wanting to disturb him, I haven’t moved. But then again, it’s not like watching him is a hardship.

While not everyone would consider the cold, distant Captain attractive, Levi appeals to me. His ear length raven colored locks cover his face, and his undercut is alway fresh looking. The stormy grey eyes that impassively observe are hard to look away from, even when he glares at you. While he is considered short by most, I don’t understand why people comment on it. Extremely fit, his lean, muscular body screams with the results of his years of training and fighting. If he were more approachable, I would pursue a relationship with him. I scoff to myself, it more likely that the titans will suddenly stop eating humans.

I suddenly realize that those grey eyes have been watching me for Lord only knows how long. I meet his eyes steadily as I resist the urge to blush. It’s not like I wasn’t ordered by the Commander to watch him. I have no reason to feel embarrassed, even if my thoughts weren’t professional.

“Did I sleep long enough for you to leave me alone?” He asks, his voice husky from the sleep.

“You slept for about three hours. That isn’t a full night’s sleep sir.” I carefully answer, unsure of what mood he wakes up in.

“It is for me. It’s the most I’ve slept in one go in weeks.” He sits up and rotates his shoulders. Getting up, he begins to pull on his uniform.

“Sir, please don’t.” I stop him by putting a hand on his arm. Looking at me, he silently demands to know why. “Dress in casual clothes, something more comfortable that the constricting uniform. Do you have sleep pants or shorts?”

Grumbling he goes to his wardrobe and digs through it. Pulling out a pair of older grey sweatpants and a white t-shirt, he holds them up to me for approval. When I nod, he quickly dresses and puts his uniform away neatly.

Marching out of his room, I see him settle himself behind his desk. Picking up a pen, he begins to work on the stacks of paperwork taking up real estate on his desk. I look at him, frowning in disapproval. “Captain, you aren’t supposed to being doing paperwork.” The stubborn man doesn’t even spare me a glance. “Y/N, I enjoyed the little massage, and I slept for a few hours. I feel better than I have in weeks. I have had issues sleeping practically my entire life, so it’s as good at it’s going to get for now. Either pick up some paperwork and help or get some sleep.”

I sighed. I knew this was going to take time. But I won’t push it the first night. Settling on his couch, I drift off to sleep, letting the sounds of the pen scratching against the paper relax me. I woke up with the sun starting to rise through the window in his office. A blanket was covering me and a steaming cup of tea sat before me on the table beside the sofa. Levi was not in the office. Sitting up and rubbing my eyes, I look around, and turn when the door to his bedroom opened and the Captain walked out, his pristine uniform in place as he finishes tying his cravet around his neck.

“Good, your awake. the tea is for you. Don’t worry, I’ve only had the one cup of tea when I got yours. Go take a shower and get ready. Breakfast is in thirty minutes.” He walks to his desk and sits down. “Meet me back here after you finish getting ready.”

**Time Skip**

After spending the day running through Captain Levi’s schedule, I am unsure how the man doesn’t sleep. From the paperwork, to cleaning, to the squad training, to his own personal three hour workout, I am ready to drop from just trying to keep up with him.

Resting my head against my propped up hand, I’m honestly too tired to eat. Lazily pushing the food around on my plate, I feel Levi nudge me. Turning my tired eyes on him, he motions down to my plate and just says, “Eat.”, and continues his own meal.

On our way back to his office, he stops in the hallway and turns to me. “Go and get something to change into.” Rolling his eyes at my bewildered expression, he explains. “You’re observing me again, right idiot? Might as well be comfortable.”

After grabbing my necessities for a shower and changing, I find myself back in the Captain’s office. Empty, I use the opportunity to browse the collection of novels on the bookshelf by the fireplace. Surprisingly, its shelves are lined with a broad range of novels, scientific journals and even how-to manuals. It seems that he either likes to appear well read, or Levi has an intense love for absorbing the written word. Choosing a book, I thumb through the well worn pages, stopping to read passages that catch my attention.

When a door opening breaks my immersion in the crime thriller, I look up to see the Captain dressed in loose lounging pants and shirt. Toweling his wet hair, he motions behind him. “Shower is free. A towel’s on the counter.” I grab my bag and towards the bedroom, when he places a hand on my shoulder, stopping me. “I, uhhhh, took a longer shower tonight. So you can count it as relaxing.” Nodding, I walk past him and close the door.

As I strip and stand under the hot spray of water, a small grin crosses my face, wondering if the Captain took a longer shower than normal because he took my other advice. This would be the place for it if he did. A red tint covers my body that has nothing to do with the water temperature as my mind wanders. Images of Levi standing here leaning against the wall with water cascading down his body fill my mind. His elegant hand, roaming his body with no intention of cleaning, stopping when it reaches it’s destination and begins to stroke the ridged skin....Shaking my head, I push the thoughts away and quickly run through my showering ritual.

Dressing, I repack my bag and tidy the bathroom, going as far as wiping down the shower stall for the notoriously fastidious man. I place the dirty towel in the proper basket and walk back to his office, expecting to battle with him over working after dinner.

To my pleasant surprise, I find the Captain seated on his sofa. A tea set placed on the table before it and beside the tray, an elegantly carved chess set. Walking towards him, I cock an eyebrow at the tea set, sending him a questioning look.

“Before you start, it’s camomile” He grumbles as he pours two cups. Handing one to me, he sits back and takes a sip. “Do you play?” He questions, nodding towards the chess pieces.

“I do, but not very well I’m afraid.”

“Good, I’m tired of Eyebrows winning. Let’s play.”

We spend several hours pouring over the board, strategizing and sacrificing pawns to advance. Although most of the time is silent, Levi surprises me by randomly throwing out questions in his blunt manner.

“Are you trying to distract me?” I question after the latest question from him about my life, as I contemplate my next move.

Clicking his tongue, he moves a Bishop into position. “Idiot, I can be social.” Causing me to laugh at the rude answer.

After beating me for the third time, he stands and begins to pack away the set. Walking to the bookshelf to place it back in it’s proper place, he orders “Go get ready for bed.”

Not moving, I try to understand his reasoning behind his demand. Turning back towards me he frowns at my lack of movement. “Y/N, go get ready for bed.” His voice a bit harsher, more authoritative. Silently, I demand an explanation from him. This is my observation and I was the one in charge.

Sighing, he pinches the bridge of his nose as he explains. “You are exhausted. You need to sleep.” He holds a hand up to stop me before I can do more than open my mouth to argue. “I will go lay down with you on that shitty bed. I won’t leave it, I swear. I will keep track of how long I stay awake for you. Now, please go.”

Realizing he’s right, that I have to get some sleep, I get up and go to the bathroom to get ready for bed. When I come out, the sheets have been turned down, ready to me to slide into them. Levi quickly preforms his own nightly ritual and comes over to bed, sitting on the edge. Turning to look at me, his eyes search mine for discomfort at the situation. Finding none, he turns back and extinguishes the lamp, throwing the room into darkness. Laying back, I feel him fold his hands behind his head and breathe slowly, relaxing his body. Drowsy, I turn to face away from him, quickly falling into a deep sleep after muttering a quiet “Goodnight.”

**Time Skip**

Slowly opening my eyes, I wake up. Confusion clouds my mind at the unfamiliar room. As I blink and the fog of sleep lifts, I remember falling asleep beside Levi. Soft light filters through the edges of the dark curtains, signifying the beginning of a new day. I wonder how many hours Levi let me sleep while he laid next to me. As I go to move, I realize there is a weight, holding me in place. Reaching down, I feel a warm arm around my stomach, fingers gripping my side. A body, radiating heat, pressed up against my backside, and a cold foot in between mine own warm feet. His face is pushed into the back of my neck, the hot air washing over me as he breathes out. Stirring slightly, he pulls me closer to him as he burrows down into my neck and innocently rubs against me in his sleep. A small contented hum comes from his chest as he settles back down.

Smiling to myself, I relax into the mattress. I can question him when he wakes. Still, being awake causes me to shift more than I would if I were asleep. Trying to stretch my back out a bit causes me to freeze. When I moved, Levi responded in his sleep, nudging a certain part of his body against my butt. Moving again to try and get comfortable, he brushed against me again with slightly more force. Red faced, I vow to lay like a statue until he wakes up, not wanting to explain why I caused him to grind his ‘morning salute’ against me if he were to wake up now.

Not too much later, a low groan comes from the raven haired man as he begins to stir. Tightening his arm around me, I feel his muscles contract with a small stretch, and his long lashes tickle my neck as he opens his eyes.

“Good morning.” I call out softly.

Humming slightly he begins to pull away from me, rolling over onto his back. Following him, I turn onto my side, facing him. He closes his eyes again and lets out a sigh.

“Damn...” is all he says.

Pushing myself up, I prop on an elbow and look at him.

“I fell asleep right after you did.”

When I didn’t respond, he looks over and snorts at my shocked expression.

“Yeah, I never would have believed it either. You said goodnight and immediately fell asleep. I remember rolling onto my side and that was it.” He continues, shooting a quick glance over to me before looking back up at the ceiling.

“Huh....that’s great! You just slept for 9 hours! How do you feel?” In my enthusiasm, I wiggle closer to him, wide eyed and smiling.

Rolling his eyes at me he grumbles. “Fine. I slept great. Now I have another damn problem.”

I tilt my head in confusion. What’s the problem? He slept for a full night! If we can repeat it tomorrow, he’s on his way to being fully rested.

Glowering at me he spits out. “Are you going to sleep next to me every night?”

“Oh.....well....ummmm” I can’t think of what to say.

“Yeah....Even if you did agree to sleep next to me, that just causes me more problems.” Levi’s voice is low, mumbling as if embarrassed.

“What’s the other problem?”

Looking at me incredulously, he shakes his head. “Really? I know you felt it.”

“Oooooohhhhhh” I blush as I realize exactly what he is referring to. Quickly waving away his concern I reply. “That’s natural. Don’t worry about that.”

Turning towards me and propping up to look me the eyes, his next words excite me. “Not for me. Especially since I ‘relaxed’ in the shower last night.”

“Well, we are adults.” I ventured, looking away from him. “I cured your insomnia, I’m sure I can cure your other issue, if you want.”

Pulling me closer to him, he rubs against me, pushing his issue against my hip. “Oh I want.”

The End.

Mobile MasterList

@emilyackerman78

[amazingmsme]

The Darkest Shadows Hold the Darkest Secrets

AN: This idea has been lurking in the back of my mind for the longest time, and I’m so glad I can finally share it! Klaus sleepwalks, and Five and Diego witness it. WARNINGS: ptsd, mentions of war, guns

Five was no stranger to odd situations. Growing up as a childhood superhero and becoming a time correcting assassin basically ensured that he would be involved in all kinds of odd situations. So when he went to the kitchen in the middle of the night to brew some coffee, he wasn't very phased to see Klaus sitting in the dark, disassembling a rifle and muttering in his sleep. He knew from experience that PTSD really fucked you up, and time travel could scramble your brains. Ever since his brother had gotten back from his little trip to Vietnam, he'd been... different. But different had always been Klaus's normal; this wasn't his usual kind of different.

He still constantly goofed off, making inappropriate jokes any moment he could. But now he had a few quirks and ticks that hadn't always been there. Five had learned a lot from Vanya's book, and observed enough about him in the short time that he had been back to pick up on his general personality and quirks. He knew something was up the moment he saw him after his trip through time. He was obviously suffering from recent time travel, that was obvious, but he had a distant and extremely sad look that was very much unlike him. Of course he slapped on his happy mask as soon as he noticed him, but once Five saw through the cracks, the pieces began to fall into place. The new tattoos, the dog tags, even the way he was standing. He was honestly a little disappointed that none of the others even noticed any of these details.

He knew he went to Vietnam. He knew he fought in the war for a year. He was pretty sure that he lost someone extremely close to him. It was all very sad. Nearly everything about the Hargreeves' existence was either sad or fucked up. He knew Klaus hated the dead, and there was no place where death was more prominent than in a war zone. 

So Five observed him. He leant against the doorframe and watched as Klaus took apart the gun, strategically placing each part in front of him on the table. He finished surprisingly quick. Then, just as fast, he put it all back together. He was impressed.

Klaus kept up with the routine, disassemble, assemble, disassemble, assemble, over and over again. Then, he broke the pattern, raising it up to rest against his shoulder as he took aim.

Five stared straight at the barrel of the gun. He knew it was unloaded, but it was so unsettling seeing his sleeping brother handle the weapon with such a practiced ease, he wasn't even sure he himself was capable of. He trailed his gaze up to his face. His expression was mostly smoothed, but there were the slightest wrinkles scrunching up his face. Anger, distress, sadness, fear, all perfectly summed up in his features. Five thought he must look the same while he sleeps. A killer can recognize a killer.

But Five isn't one to pry. He's perfectly content in leaving well enough alone, and if this was somehow helping Klaus work through his problems, who was he to interfere? He hated when his siblings tried to pry, so he respected Klaus's privacy. After all, he was still the same brother they knew and reluctantly loved while he was awake. And when he was asleep, he continued his nightly ritual away from them all. But Five made sure to stow away all the bullets in the house in their own separate hiding spot inside the gun safe. None of the others seemed to notice a particular rifle seemed to be missing from its usual spot, but Five knew about the gun stowed away underneath his bed.

Five was well aware of all of this and made a habit of checking in on him during the night. He wouldn't always be in the same place, and he had to search through the rooms to find him. He had never been the closest with Klaus when they were young, but now Five felt a deeper connection with his eccentric brother, a strong sense of understanding that he couldn't explain. He could tell Klaus knew something was up, but he didn't really question it.

He really took on the role of the older brother, guarding over Klaus in secret and standing up for him when the others would say a less than nice comment about him.

Two and a half weeks in. It didn't happen every night, but it happened often enough. He was able to pick up some words here and there. Names mostly. The name most commonly heard was Dave. He vaguely remembers him mentioning losing someone. Dave must be who he was referring to.

Klaus would cry in his sleep. Silent tears slipping down his cheeks as his bottom lip quivered. Small broken whimpers slipped out occasionally and broke Five's heart. And then there were the screams, not loud enough to wake their siblings in the massive house, but loud enough to be alarming. Five would always try to calm and comfort him without waking him. He didn't know how Klaus would react from such a nightmare, so he would speak softly and lovingly, stroking a gentle hand through his hair. He just wanted to protect his brother, but didn't know how.

One night, while going through the nightly ritual, he heard something behind him shift. He turned around to see a stunned Diego, frozen in shock as he watched Klaus take apart the rifle for the umpteenth time. He jumped about a foot in the air when he noticed Five staring and placed a hand over his heart. He sped walked over to him and loomed over Five.

"Mind telling me what the fuck I just walked in on?" he whisper yelled.

"Keep your voice down, you'll wake him up! Now go back to bed, I have everything under control," Five said, ready to turn away from him. Diego gripped his shoulder and whipped him back around to face him.

"And just how, do tell, do you have everything under control?" He was leaning in so close, their noses almost touched. He was trying hard to hold back his anger, and Five could see just how hard he was gritting his teeth together. He calmly placed a hand on his shoulder, pushing him back slightly.

"I've been watching him-"

"That's not at all creepy." Five fixed him with a look before he continued.

"He's been doing this for a few weeks now, so I've just been checking in on him to make sure he's okay and things don't get... out of hand."

Diego glanced over at their sleeping brother, who's hands were still hard at work. "It's not loaded, is it?"

"God no, I'm not fucking stupid! I put the bullets somewhere safe." Diego was still in shock.

"So that's it then? You just stow the bullets away and watch Klaus do that," he gestured towards said man, "And not even bother telling any of us? Have you even told Klaus? I'm sure he'd like to know about this!" His voice was slowly starting to rise.

Five went on the defensive. "Personally, I don't think any of you deserved to know! He went through a lot of shit when he time traveled, and this must be his subconscious way of processing it. You all would only try and pry into his business and put a stop to it. There's a reason why he's doing this, so I think it's best to let him work in a safe controlled environment."

Diego let out a soft laugh of shock and disbelief. "There's nothing safe or controlled about what he's doing. Look at him Five, he needs our help." Diego was staring at him, yearning to help in some way, yet not knowing how.

"I am helping. I make sure he doesn't hurt himself, and if his dreams get too bad, I calm him back down." He didn't take his eyes away from Klaus, watching his lips move in murmuring whispers as his hands continued their nightly dance. "I don't know if he's told you, but he doesn't get a lot of sleep. The ghosts are too much to handle I guess, and now he has to deal with nightmares from the war on top of that. I like to let him get as much sleep as he can." He glanced down at his hands shoved in his pockets, "I think doing this helps him sleep."

Diego's shoulders sagged as he released a heavy sigh. He could at least understand his brother's reasoning behind all of this. Still, it just felt wrong. "I get it. It's still not right, but I get why you do it." He leaned against the opposite side of the door frame. "You really should tell Klaus. He's the one doing this, he should have a right to know." Five let out a sigh of his own.

"I just... I don't know how he'll react, and I don't want to upset him. I hate seeing him be afraid of himself, and I don't want him to be mad at me for not telling him sooner. Isn't it just better if he doesn't know?" He looked up at Diego with wide, concerned eyes. And there, standing in the dark, he had never looked more like the young soul they thought they had lost all those years ago.

"He needs to know Five."

"Son of a bitch, that's what I thought you'd say." That made his brother laugh. He furrowed his brows at him. "The hell are you laughing for?"

"You can't fool me. You try and act like you don't care as much as you do, but it's things like these that show the real you." He leant forward and poked his chest. "You're a softy." Five's face contorted in disgust at the word as he smacked the hand away.

"Says the momma's boy!"

"Deny it all you want, but you can't hide from the truth. You'd do anything for us if it came down to it, that's why you were so obsessed with the apocalypse. And that's why you're obsessing over Klaus now." Five knew he was right, and he hated it. Diego knew that he knew.

"And what makes you so sure of all of this?" Diego rolled his eyes.

"You're not exactly subtle bro. You've gotten super defensive over him, even to the point where Klaus thinks it's kinda weird. And you've gotten clingy."

"I am not clingy!" he protested. The taller man just shook his head with a knowing smile.

"You totally are! And I could tell you've been losing sleep, now I know why."

"Can you blame me?" Both their eyes were glued on him. He brought the finished gun up to his face as though he were looking through a scope. Finger hovering over the trigger, never pulling. The moonlight shone in through the window, bathing the room in a silvery blue glow. A sterling beam of light glinted off of the barrel, reflecting onto Five's cheek. "I just feel like I should be protecting him." Diego clasped a firm hand on his shoulder and gave a slight squeeze.

"It's not your job to protect everyone from everything. You both deserve a break." His voice was warm and soothing, providing some much needed comfort in the cold dim room. "But you have to tell him sooner or later. And the longer you wait, the worse it'll be."

Five nodded. He knew that what Diego said was true, but that didn't mean he hated it any less. He knew he had to come clean some time. "Fine. Just give me a few days to figure out what to say to him."

Diego let out a fond chuckle, "Every day you don't, I throw a knife at you."

He narrowed his eyes, glaring at him, "Fair enough. Just keep in mind I know how to throw them too. I was a trained assassin after all." Diego gave him a thumbs up, before leaning against the fame. They fell into a comfortable silence, just the two of them watching.

None of the Hargreeves were strangers to the odd and messed up. There were a lot of dim corners shrouded in shadows, where an ugly truth could reside. All it takes is one peak behind the veil to discover that the darkest shadows hold the darkest secrets.

[chloemill]

On what I’ve been up to the last nine years

I have always been obsessed with food. It seems silly, honestly, to be obsessed with something that’s a basic human necessity. Food, water, shelter. Too bad there aren’t water disorders or I’d be all over that. Alcoholism, I guess, is a liquid-based disorder? This is getting dark quickly but I guess we should all know what we’re getting into with this one, shouldn’t we.

So, yeah, I’ve always been obsessed with food. I have alarmingly clear memories of food from childhood, and the sad(dest) part is most of it’s not even real fucking food, it’s like, cartoon food. I could probably describe every illustration from the Berenstain Bears installment where the dad bear and the kid bears randomly decide to go balls to the fucking wall and just mainline junk food until the mom bear is like “what the fuck is going on here” and gives them all apples or some shit and then everyone chills the fuck out. The pizza in A Goofy Movie when Goofy and Max randomly stop at a themed motel and the kids eat pizza while Goofy and Pete share what I remember to be a vaguely sexual moment in the hot tub? (There was definitely at LEAST a questionable power dynamic at play.) The kid at school whose weird helicopter mom came at lunch and hand-delivered her McDonald’s nuggets to the playground. Bake sales in the second grade - the cookies and brownies and “nachos” that were just round Tostitos with that terrifying and delicious fake cheese sauce that still honestly casts a spell twenty years later. It wasn’t quite normal, but as a kid, I didn’t think twice. When your parents are feeding you and your brain is the size of a baseball, you just kind of roll with the punches and settle for buying as much crap as possible at the bake sale with the two bucks your mom gave you. Shortly after I finished elementary school, actually, I think they stopped having bake sales as fundraisers because the school was trying to promote healthy eating. Go figure.

In high school we were allowed to go off campus for lunch and once or twice a week my sainted mother would give me money to buy lunch. It very rapidly became the bi-weekly Let’s See How Much Shit We Can Stuff In Our Body For Ten Dollars Challenge, but that’s not at all uncommon for high schoolers. At home we ate healthily, and I have a pretty fast metabolism thanks to my Slenderman of a father so I was more or less the size of a pencil for first few years of school. We’re talking, like, size double zero at Hollister. I actually used to peel the 00 size stickers off my low rise (!!!) jeans whenever I’d get a new pair and stick them on the side of my desk in my bedroom, which, as I became a normal-sized adult with not-normal-sized body image problems, morphed into a very creative form of self-inflicted psychological torment. I have some journal entries from the first few years of high school with “diet and workout plans”, but in teenage girl fashion, most of them were quickly forgotten about or amended with “forgot and ate mac and cheese today - whoops!” Stupid teenage shit. It’s actually kind of hilarious reading it back now until I remember how spectacularly fucked up everything got. ANYWAY!

My first real memory of hating my body was on a school trip to Scotland my junior year. I was fully indoctrinated into the cult of high school musical theatre and we were performing at the Fringe Festival in Edinburgh, which was an incredibly cool experience that I absolutely did NOT take full advantage of and instead did shit like drink way too much rum (fucking RUM because apparently I was a character in Disney’s Pirates of the Caribbean franchise), try to climb out the window of the dorms we were staying in to go see my boyfriend in his building, quickly remember I was on like the fucking fourth floor, throw up all over the carpet of my room and then pass out. My room smelled like puke the rest of the trip but that, though tragic in its own right, is not the point of this anecdote. Being both across the pond and left to my own devices, I was eating nothing but beige-colored fried food to the point that I’m certain ketchup and fruit juice used solely as a mixer for alcohol were the only things saving me from full-blown scurvy. My clothes felt tight, and not in the 2010s way that everything was tight, but bad tight. My stomach poked out of my jeans in a way that my stomach wasn’t supposed to poke out of my jeans. Keep in mind - I was probably a size 0 instead of 00 at this point, and most of this change was just a product of being sixteen instead of fourteen and growing, but to me it felt ominous in a way I didn’t know how to explain. During a group trip to some Scottish landmark or another (see how much attention I paid to this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity my parents spent their hard-earned money to give me?) I remember sitting next to my close friend on the bus as we pulled over to stop for food. I was having relationship trouble with the aforementioned boyfriend, one of the first of many Musical Theatre Straight Boys™ that I would lose my fucking mind over, and I was getting emotional - more emotional than I expected. I realized something else was bothering me, and I turned to her and said “On top of everything else, I just feel… fat. I know I’m not fat, but I’m fat, like, for me.”

Two things here: first and foremost, yes, for that I know I am now the recipient of the Most Annoying Sentence Ever Spoken Aloud award and will provide the mailing address for my trophy at a later date. Second, I said that over ten years ago, and I remember it so clearly that I’m entirely sure that’s exactly what I said, verbatim. We got off the bus, and I walked into the restaurant and, after scanning the menu desperately trying to convince myself I should order something “healthy”, I ordered large steak fries and got back on the bus. I think this was the first time I ever really, consciously used food as a coping mechanism - the first time something small but powerful snapped in my head that told me fuck it - who the fuck cares? You’ve done enough damage already, what’s the point of stopping now?

High school ended, I graduated and we sang “Journey On” from Ragtime at the ceremony (baffling choice but the school was doing Ragtime next year and wanted to squeeze a promo out), I got into several of my top-choice musical theatre colleges and was so excited to go to the one I picked, which, you’ll be charmed to hear, was the absolute worst choice I could’ve made. I was 18 and a little bigger now, firmly in size 0/2 instead of 00 territory, had maybe graduated to a 32B bra instead of A, but still very thin by most standards. This was my first summer as a Very Online Person - I would stay up tlil probably 3 or 4 AM most nights blogging and watching Harry Potter movies for the umpteenth time. Because the rest of my family was, how do I put it, fucking normal, they’d go to bed at 11 or whenever and I’d be up alone for hours on the  computer. This is when I started bingeing. We didn’t really keep junk food in my house, nothing legit like Cheetos or Ben and Jerry’s or whatever, but we did have sugar cereal and reduced-fat Oreos and cheese and the occasional box of Triscuts. It became a nightly ritual for me - I’d wait for everyone to go to bed, then tiptoe in to the kitchen and, though I’d eaten dinner hours earlier, start eating again. Stacks of Oreos, multiple bowls of cereal, shredded cheese out of the bag. After a while my mom heard me banging around in the kitchen and told me (in so many words) to shut the fuck up, so my methods changed. I’d bring the box of cereal - Rice Krispies or Cocoa Puffs or whatever - a bowl, and a carton of milk into the bathroom with me. I’d run the sink and open the box and pour the cereal with the water running so no one would hear, and then I’d creep back out to the couch and eat it. Box of Oreos into the bathroom, water on, peel open the plastic, take out the biggest stack I thought I could with no one noticing, eat. Three or four granola bars into the bathroom, water on, wrappers off and hidden behind my bed or the couch or wherever, eat. Rinse and repeat.

I didn’t really know what binge eating was at this point, and some tiny, dark part of my brain buried way in the back told me that this wasn’t normal and it wasn’t good, but I pushed it away because of course I did. I did a few Google searches about it and came across the term “binge eating disorder” but was convinced that could never be me. This was just a thing, just a thing I was doing, and it would go away at the end of the summer when I went away to college because that’s when life was actually starting and it was going to be awesome and I wasn’t going to let this - whatever this was - fuck that up.

But I did, in fact, fuck it up. I fucked it up fast and hard (that’s what she said, ok back to being depressing) and college was not awesome, it was difficult and painful and I was drowning in something I had absolutely no chance of controlling on my own. I accepted very quickly that this thing I was doing had a name, and it was binge eating disorder, and I was all in. I gained weight - not a ton, maybe twenty pounds, and I was never actually overweight, but to me that didn’t matter. I hated how I looked. I overdrew my bank account spending money my mom gave me for groceries on binge food. I spent hours alone in the dining hall eating till I felt physically ill and sometimes threw up involuntarily because my body couldn’t handle what I was doing. One time I stood in the bathroom of my dorm and drank mustard mixed with warm water because I read online that makes you puke and I was so full I wanted to die (it didn’t work, please for the love of GOD don’t drink mustard water or, for that matter, anything else for the express purpose of making yourself vomit). I cancelled plans with friends and skipped classes to stay in and binge, or because I’d binged already that day and could barely move. I stole food from roommates, convincing myself no one would notice, even though of course they fucking noticed. I hid food and packaging and wrappers under my bed, in my closet, in my backpack, wherever I could because I didn’t want anyone to catch on. Lied about why I needed money so my parents would send me some and I could buy more shit. I ate stale food, food from the trash, once I literally ate straight up chocolate sauce (mustard water and chocolate sauce: 10 out of 10 doctors recommend!) because I had nothing else. Waking up for 8 AM ballet classes and seeing my body in a leotard under fluorescent lighting felt like a form of torture Dick Cheney might think was a little too harsh. I saw a therapist over the summers and ate with my parents at home, and things got better, and then I’d go back to school and everything would unravel again. I’m still kind of shocked I made it through.

I’ve been done with school and living in the city for five years now, and I can honestly say that things are better. I mean, not “better”, in the sense that this chapter of the book is still pretty fucking open. But I’m better at dealing with it. The majority of the time now, I eat normally. I still binge, sometimes a lot and sometimes a little, but I carry on and try again the next day. I don’t really restrict to make up for binges anymore. I can eat some foods now that used to send me straight into Eatin’ Town USA, like cheese and bread and maybe even Oreos sometimes. I started enjoying working out, not just logging time on the treadmill as a punishment and feeling like Jean Valjean in the opening number of Les Mis (look down look down you’RE HERE UNTIL YOU DI-IE). 

To be honest, I think I’m writing this mostly because the last couple months have been hard. I’ve fallen into some old stupid shitty habits, and I’ve been plugging along like normal and trying to claw myself out. But it’s not quite working like it normally does, and I don’t know why. I know I’ll make it through, because I always have, and what other option is there? But some days lately, I feel like twenty-year-old me, sobbing (very theatrically, natch) on the floor of my apartment because I should be over this by now - how am I not over this by now? This is my ninth year as a binge eater. Almost a decade! Far and away my longest and most committed relationship. When I hit 10 years strong, I should take myself out to a fancy restaurant or something but I don’t know what I’d order.

When I tell people this, I usually get some kind of “I had no idea”/“I’m sorry I didn’t notice”/“I would’ve never guessed” and the truth is that I didn’t, and still don’t, want anyone to notice. Of course I don’t. You don’t hide candy wrappers and empty pizza boxes in your closet with your winter boots because you want people to notice. It’s a very strange and secretive brand of shame that binge eating disorder brings and no one really get it unless they get it, and that’s not something I’d wish on anyone. (Okay, honestly, I’d wish it on some people, like it’s hard as hell but some people suck ass and probably deserve it? Anyway.) As I’ve grown up, I’ve started talking about this more and more. The first time I went public with all of this shit - I think I made a dramatic Instagram post a few years ago whilst day drunk during National Eating Disorder Awareness Week (absolutely incredible and Very Me start to a sentence) - I was shocked at how many people reached out to me privately and were like, hey, me too, and thank you for saying something. I’m still ashamed, but I’m trying not to be, and the more I talk about it the less alone I feel. “There are dozens of us! DOZENS!”

I guess one nice thing about this whole stupid nightmare is it’s kind of a reason why I am who I am. Not the only reason, but still. I started using jokes to cope with this while I was in school, and my sense of humor, whatever the fuck it is today, grew out of that. Except now I don’t joke about this stupid shit because I’m in denial, I do it because it’s real and I’m staring it in the face and it’s not going away, and the absurdity of something so excruciatingly difficult yet so entirely in my control gets fucking terrifying. I guess laughing at it makes it seem small.

[deviant404angel]

His and Hers: A Dance in the Vampire Bund Fic Part 3

They came up for air when it became clear breathing was necessary. Honestly, he would have been fine just breathing her in.

“Akira…” she sighed his name, her eyes glazed with passion, his reflection in her eyes. He was sure she reflected in his as well.

“Mina… ” he called. He’d always wanted to call her that. Always wish he could claim her in all ways possible, mind, heart, body and soul.

Her eyes widened. “Y-you called me by my name. ” She sounded surprised and elated. Then everything came into focus.

He was in his bed, she was on top of him, her core pressed firmly on his erection which was straining underneath his soft pants he usually wear to sleep, and her lips were swollen. He reacted fast when he realized he wasn’t dreaming.

“Wwaah!!” He dislodged himself and fell on the floor as the princess fell back on the bed. “H-Hime-san!!”

“Ouch!” Mina dropped her back and butt on the soft bed but she was still taken aback. “What was that for!?” She glared at Akira.

“Wh-why are you–” He noticed he was still hard and tenting his pants so he grabbed his pillow and pressed it firmly on his lap. “What are you doing here again!?” He asked, the redness of his face spreading to his ears and neck.

“What? It’s a nightly ritual.”

As if that’s normal!

She kept on doing this and kept on teasing him he was at his wit’s end. “Don’t make it to be!”

“What? You obviously enjoyed it.” She crossed her arms over her ample chest and pointed at him. “The little wolf over there is an evidence.”

“Don’t call him so casually!” He protested half-heartedly.

“At least I didn’t give him a hideous name. Shall we call him Aki-chan?” She grinned.

“No! That’s weird!”

She laughed then. Geez, princess.

“Hmm. I had fun tonight Akira. Sorry to disturb your sleep.” She tood up on the center of the bed and it’s the first time I noticed the sheerness of her night dress. It’s almost see through! “I had the need to see your face so I sought you out. You seemed to be having a good dream I couldn’t help but kiss you. I just wish you remember the kiss. It was quite terrific.” She chuckled. “Get some sleep Akira, I will not disturb. Just hold me and let’s sleep together.”

She held out her hand to him.

This girl. No. This woman really have no sense of danger. She’s reckless and proud but sweet and gentle. She doesn’t even know that he’s probably very dangerous right now.

He wanted to remember the kiss. He wanted to feel the kiss. He wanted to feel her heat. She’s smiling innocently at him but all he wanted to do right now was mess her up so bad she wouldn’t even think of leaving his side. She’s offering her hand to her predator.

“What? Hurry up, Akira. The dawn will break in a few more hours, come and let’s sleep.” She looked at Akira and chuckled. “ Still wary I guess. Alright, I’ll sleep first and then you can come up on the bed.” She turned but before she could, and Akira suddenly grabbed her hand and dropped in on the bed before caging her in.

“Wha-” She looked at him startled. “Akira?”

“Hime-san, you shouldn’t really play with fire too much. I’m at my last strength here.” His eyes glowed in the dark fighting his instincts to take her, take her and take her. The beast in him was always there but its clawing to get outside right now.

Instead if being intimidated Mina smiled. “You haven’t noticed? Took you long enough to break down. I was almost getting impatient.” Mina sat up on her elbow and brought her face closer to Akira’s.

Hime-san. Hime-san.

Mina.

She bit his lips enough to draw blood and looked at him in the eye with challenge.

With a growl he tackled her. His lips crashed to hers as he gripped the sheets on both sides of her body. Mina brought her arms around his thick neck to hold herself up. Seeming to not get enough, Akira gripped Mina’s legs, parted them wide and locked hinself in place between them effectively caging her in without anyway to escape.

“Ah!” Mina uttered in surprise. And a thought passed to her brain, shit he’s too big. “Aki-” before she could finish her sentencehe was already prowling at her lips. He held her face between his hands and tilted her up, opening her mouth.

“Hime-san… ” Then he plunged his tongue inside her, exploring his conquest.

“Hmm!” Their tongues entwined, the sensation was almost too much for Mina as she scratched his back. There was his tongue erotically exploring her mouth as if he never gets enough and the his lower part of the body was forcing itself onto her core which slowly opens itself to her embarrassment. She could feel herself getting wet as Akira kept on thrusting.

Akira pushed her down the bed, untangled her arms around his neck and locked her wrists with one hand. Mina was so lost she didn’t know what to do so she panted, lost in the sensation of Akira’s lips tracing her nipples over her nightgown. As he mouth closed on the peak and pulled she bucked, loving the pleasure-pain intensity that travelled through her body down to her core. She pressed herself more to him. Her mouth opened wide and she threw her head back.

“Ahh! Akira…”

He did the same to her other breast and she shuddered in bliss. Her legs falling apart wider without her knowledge. What are these sensations? It’s overwhelming her everything threatening to shatter her. There was a moment of reprieve before she was startled as Akira widened her legs with his hands and she looked down.

How did he-!?

“A-Akirahh-ahh!” She hissed at he pressed his nose to her center. “What-what-what are you—”

With his nose buried in her underwear, inhaling her scent, he looked at her. “What now princess? Two can play this game you know.” He spoke below her.

“I-I… the game is o-over… So.. So… ” She suddenly didn’t know what to do, at lost for words but Akira took the decision away from her.

“Too late princess. Should have thought better than to play with a wolf.” Before she could protest, he bit the scrap of cotton she was wearing and tore them off of her. He looked at her first before he began his dive.

As his tongue and mouth worked themselves, she arched her back and gripped his hair with one hand. “Ah!” Was that her voice? She coverered her mouth with her free hand as Akira spoke directly to her core. “Well you shouldn’t do that princess, I think I’d like to hear more.” He reached for her hands and pinned them to their sides while she have strength, right now she was pretty much boneless.

Sensations bombarded her. Her tongue exploring her core making lewd sounds, sucking, licking, moaning. He wasn’t even being gentle about it but he wasn’t being rough either. She knew he was holding back but if this is his holding back how much more if he’s not? Before she knew it her moans were becoming louder and louder and she was trying to get away from him as a swirling sensation started in the pit of her womb. But her hips were betraying her. If she doesn’t shut up soon, the whole house are going to wake up.

“Aki–” she bit the insides of her cheeks, drawing blood. She tightened her hands on their entwined fingers.

“Come for me, Mina.”

Then everything exploded as his tongue curled inside her. Her legs which were split wide by his broad shoulders started closing in on his head. Her toes curled. Her mouth opened in a silent scream. Her head thrown back, she arched spine. All she saw was white.

When she came down from her high, she blurrily saw Akira licked his glistening lips, used his thumb to wipe something off the corner of his lips and brought it to his mouth. His eyes were still glowing.

Her consciousness started fading, as exhaustion wrapped itself around her like a blanket. He said something while looking at her kneeling in between her legs. He was looking at her fiercely. It was something so new but she couldn’t analyze what it was for she was already on her way to a blissful sleep.

***

Whe Mina woke up she was sore. Her back ached, her throat parched. She also felt her core was sore and sensitive but she was happy. She stretched like a cat. Then she thought back to last night and blushed fiercely.

She was pushing Akira she just didn’t know he’d follow through. It was almost like a test for her because so far, Akira had refused to touch her like an equal would touch his partner. Last night was the first. She giggled.

With the threat of the 3 clans out of the way since 5 years, she felt free except she knows she wasn’t. Not as free as she’d like to believe as long as the true blood vampire is out there, probably recuperating. But it seems like the wounds Fenrir or Akira inflected were harder to heal.

Hmm. Where’s Akira? She smiled. The boy is probably embarrassed. Oh well. She stood up and enjoyed the new sensation her body is experiencing but when she looked at the full length mirrow in his bathroom her mouth gaped open.

“I certainly can’t hide this much. He went overboard!” Her body was full of marks Akira left last night. Her inner thighs were peppered with them. Her chest, her neck, even her arms! That idiot! And because of the change it’ll take time before it heals!

So Mina sneaked to her chamber and dressed in a long sleeved turtle -neck dress despite the summer season. Well there’s not much difference in her usual outfit but she certainly cannot wear her school skirt so she’ll have to refrain from going to school.

“Geez, just what is he thinking marking me all over? Too territorial!” She was happy but this much mark is too much!

***

But days past and Akira avoided her. The markings were starting to fade except the one near her core. It seems like he bit her along the way but she couldn’t remember. Was it when she came? She blushed.

The question is why was he avoiding her?

“Hime-sama.” Vera called as soon as she got back to the bund. It was the last day of the United Nations assembly and finally they relented after much threats (couldn’t help it) and a cartographer will soon be sending her a revised world map.

“Vera, ” she noticed Wolf was also there. “Wolf.”

“You have rest days after this. Please take your time to rest. But before that, Wolf-sama has his report on the ancient civilization.”

Interested, she turned. “Did you find anything?”

“It’s an ancient civilization found in Romania, just under the oldTepes Castle.”

“What?” That came as a surprise to her. She wasn’t able to think much about it because the Royals had raided the castle and left it in ruins. She didn’t know there was something underneath. She could almost laugh how foolish she was.

“There are ancient texts of unknown origin written on the walls. We are trying to document it at the moment. We are also trying to decipher the meaning of the texts however, there seems to be no fit language that can help us unlock its meaning. For now, the laboratory is processing the data, your highness. ”

“I see. That’s a promising news, Wolf. Thank you.”

“At your service, your highness. ”

She thought to herself. Unknown ancuent text that matches no language… So how could they uncover its secret?

“Your highness, if it’s anything that is related to the change you and Akira are undergoing, then probably you two can make sense of it.” Wolf offered.

She smiled. “Thank you, Wolf.” Then, “By the way, where is Akira? He’s been avoiding me lately.”

“That, he’s in the training room.” Wolf looked at Mina and she looked back at him. Then seemingly to understand something, he closed his eyes. “It seems he’s troubled by something. Maybe her highness can help.”

She beamed at that. “Oh! What could be troubling him? I’ll go and see.” Then she briskly walked to the training room.

“Wolf-sama.” Vera called a little bit worried. “I am only concerned about Hime-sama’s happiness. ”

Wolf spoke quietly, “Whatever her highness wishes, we will always follow her. It’s up to them how they work this out especially with…this obvious…signs.”

Vera chuckled. It’s probably the wolf senses that’s bothering the leader of the greatest military under the Tepes family.

Then a thought came to her. “Wolf, who else is in the training room?”

Wolf suddenly understood. “More wolves.”

Nelly, Nella and Nero who were cleaning spotted them. “I wonder if they’re talking about something interesting?” Neri asked curiously.

“Ah, it’s probably that.” Nella answered.

“That?” Nelly recalled. And then subsequently fumed. “That!?” Nero and Nella tried to calm her down.

***

Akira just finished defeating one Beowulf. The others were already talking to each other taking a break. He gulped down the water, his mind elsewhere. Distracted. He’d been distracted for days…

His nose twitched as he smelled something.

“Akira! There you are! Oh, hello wolf boys.” Princess Mina Tepes stood at the top of the stairs leading down to the training room.

Everyonee stilled.

Shit.

She started down the stares as he stared at her in awe. The others doing the same thing. He could hardly believe it himself.

He was sure the wolves themselves noticed with their strong sense of smell.

His scent is fucking all over her!

“Your highness!” Everyone exclaimed and then stood silent. Some of them had their mouths gaping open.

“What’s wrong everyone? You’re all like fishes out of the water. Better close those mouths or flies will invite themselves in.” She smiled to them. “I’m just here to talk to Akira. No worries, we’ll be stepping outside for a while. You’re on your break so it should be fine.”

Everyobe was still speechless and all eyes turned on him. Some he felt daggers, some were just in awe and some were obviously just having fun.

Finally, one wold dared to speak. “Your highness, do you know?” Oh this on’s mischievous.

“Know what?”

“Hime-san, don’t listen to his gibberish–”

“Shush. Calm down Akira. I’m not so heartless that I would not listen to my people.” She turned to the wolf, if he remembers correctly, his name was Leo. He was just promoted to Beowulf rank recently. “Yes?”

“There’s an interesting tale in the Earth clan. That if they find their mate and bonded with them, she will smell like him so as to drive away all other wolves. Its a protective smell to know she’s taken. No matter who the mate is, human, another were clan, or vampires, she will always wear his scent.” Leo’s eyes twinkled as he relayed this.

[fearofaherobrine]

Roleplay Server Log #358

"Slender Switch Out, Devils Deal”

[Yaunfen] Perks up at the chat- Hey! Mada's home!

[Deer] - Oh good, I was hoping they'd be back soon

[Doc] In chat- I got the amulets. I'm going visiting if you don't need me right away.

[Deer] - Go ahead love

[Doc] Brushes some of the sand off hir clothes and heads down the hill toward Splender's house.

[Offender] Is heading away from the house, going to look for a snack-

[Doc] Waves to him- Hey Offender.

[Offender] - Visiting Splendy?

{Doc] Yep and you and Mirabella, I actually have something for your other brothers. Well, beyond the obvious surprise.

[Offender] - Anything I could help with?

[Doc] No they'll just need them before you guys switch out guarding Splender. I got emp damping pouches for both of them from Dawn.

[Offender] - Huh, alright

[Doc] I don't want to miss either of them reuinitng with Mirabella. Not ashamed to say I'm a bit giddy at the sweetness of it all.

[Offender] Snorts in amusement- Yeah, Trender will probably have a fit over mom's clothes, and Slender?  I'm not sure how he'll respond...

[Doc] No idea either. Hopefully he'll just be glad she's safe. And I'm perfectly happy to bury Trender in a pile of fabric and gems if he wants to make her something new. It's an amusing thought anyway.

[Offender] - All Trender will need is a door

[Doc] Yeah, I know, but it's the thought that counts right?

[Offender] - Eh

[Doc] Has she gotten out at all? At least taken a walk? I heard TLOT did a little fishing with her.

[Offender] - She's at least spent a little time on the shore, but she prefers to remain inside

[Doc] Somehow I wonder if that's because she was kept inside, back there... I heard there were some rather scary guard animals.

[Offender] - Probably.  I don't remember much from back then, but I do remember I didn't like it

[Doc] It seemed like a pretty sad existence. Do you think I could get her anything beforehand?

[Offender] Shrugs- I honestly don't know, so far she's just been content and happy to hear everything we've been doing

[Doc] I'm glad you guys are getting some quality time. What about you? Are you okay?

[Offender] - I'm fine, feeling like I should go bother Arc, but I'll survive

[Doc] Griefer. Ha-ha doesn't she have classes or something?

[Offender] - That's actually how I found her.  She got dragged along to party, and I liked the way she drew.  So instead of continuing to erase her memory every day, I just made her my proxy

[Doc] Is she your only proxy? I mean, I know you guys have waves or something that makes it hard to keep them alive for too long right?

[Offender] - Yeah, she's my only proxy, but I'm not around her that often

[Splender] Calls from inside- Offender!  I can't remember how to do this!

[Offender] Sighs and turns back towards the house-

[Doc] Follows him- Is it the tie thing again?

[Offender] - I have no idea

[Doc] Calls out as they get close- Splender?

[Splender] Sticks his head out- Oh!  Hello!- He waves enthusiastically

[Doc] Pulls the lever and walks over. - You look cheerful. Did you say you needed help with something?

[Splender] Has a cats-cradle thoroughly tangled around his fingers- I got stuck

[Offender] - Hang on- He starts undoing the mess before perking- Oh, guess it's time

[Doc] Time?

[Offender] - To switch baby sitters

[Doc] Then I did arrive just in time. - Xe takes out three small stitched bags on braided cords. All are a made of soft brown leather.

[Offender] - Go ahead little bro, make the opening

[Splender] Twirls his tendrils and creates the opening-

[Solace] -Hesitates on the other side before stepping through and looking around, taking in the difference in complexity decently well-

[Luna] Follows after him-

[Offender] - Hey bro

[Solace] Hey! Stayed out of trouble? -There's just a hint of teasing-

[Offender] - Who, me?

[Doc] Oh! Hey Solace! And Luna! Haven't seen you in a while, here, this is for you. Just in case. -Holds out one of the pendants-

[Solace] Both of you-- but mostly you. Oh? What'sit? -They take the pendant anyway and hold it carefully.-

[Doc] It's a medicine bag, Dawn made it to tamp down your emps so you don't damage the server. I've got one for Trender and Slender as well so they can visit.

[Splender] Is near vibrating with excitement-

[Solace] Oh, alright! Nifty. -They put it on before offering a hug to Splender, the resident vibrating happy tall person-

[Doc] Also visibly excited. - We have a suprise for you, but you gotta keep it secret from Slender and Trender for now, okay?

[Splender] Happily hugs back, hands still tangled in the string-

[Solace] -Pat pats Splendor- If the surprise isn't harmful, definitely!  -Pat, pat-

[Offender] Goes around the wall partition to get Mirabella-

[Mirabella] Comes out with Offender- Offender what is it?  Is something wrong?

[Doc] Bouncing on heels- click click click

[Solace] .... Mom? -They struggled a bit to even come to that word-

[Mirabella] Straighten ups a little- Solace...

[Splender] Happy noises-

[Solace] This is.... W-Wow

[Doc] So proud-

[Offender] - Well, I'd better be going, don't want to keep brother waiting

[Solace] Be... safe, alright? -They look like they want to hug Mirabella, probably a LOT-

[Doc] And don't tattle, okay?

[Offender] - Don't worry, it takes a lot to take me out, and I wont

[Mirabella] - Be safe

[Splender] - Solace!  Aren't you excited?

[Solace] Of course I am!

[Mirabella] - Oh Solace, you were so little when I last saw you

[Doc] is obviously giddy and focuses on Luna for a moment- and now you get to see my home. I presume solace has been treating you decently?

[Solace] I'm still kind of little mom... -They scoot a little closer to Mirabella- Can I hug you?

[Luna] - Oh yes, I'm still adjusting, but I've almost got the hang of being a proxy down

[Mirabella] - Of course

[Solace] -Hugs Mirabella tight-

[Mirabella] - You always were hanging onto some part of me when you were little... And I see Splender has picked up some of the same habits

[Doc] Dawwwww, I'm assuming the job is similar to being a personal assistant?

[Luna] - For the most part, yes

[Doc] Well then if Solace is going to spend some quality time with his mom, and he's okay with it: I'll show you around a bit. I mean I'm assuming you haven't played before of course.

[Luna] - No, I haven't

[Solace] Ah... Yeah I guess he did get that from me. I never... thought about it. -To Luna and Doc- Stay safe if you go, yes?

[Doc] Absolutlely! The local difficulty is a bit high but if you get into trouble you'll just respawn here or down the hill a bit. Depending if you've slept or not.

[Luna] - I could die?- Her breathing picks up a little, remembering her time under EJ's care

[Mirabella] - I'm glad he did.  Your father would have never approved of it

[Doc] Not easily. I mean stay inside at night unless you have a native or one of the Slenders with you. But apart from that, watch your bubbles when you swim and you know, don't fall off any high places.

[Luna] - I see...

[Doc] I can't turn the monsters off because quite a few of them are our friends. And it's kind of an all or nothing thing settings wise.

[Solace] -Head perks a bit and they look at Luna with concern- You don't have to worry here, Luna. -Before back to Mirabella- And I bet so.

[Splender] - Luna, if you want to stay with Ring Leader, I think she's in the village playing with the kids

[Luna] - Ring Leader?

[Doc] She's Splender's proxy. Just a young lady like yourself, though recruited under a bit happier circumstances I think.

[Luna] - Oh, I haven't met her yet...  Only Slender's proxies

[Doc] She's as friendly as her ward. You'll probably like her.

[Mirabella] Rubs Solace's head a little- My you've grown so tall.  Last I saw you, you were barely taller than my knee

[Solace] I'm pretty average now! -That's a proud voice alright-

[Mirabella] - An that's good, you will have to tell me what you've done since you left

[Luna] - If you want some alone time...

[Doc] I can make myself scarce as well if you want. I imagine you two have a lot to catch up on.

[Splender] - I'll get the tea!

[Doc] Reaches for Luna's hand with a calming smile- Come on, it's a nice day. We'll go for a little walk at least.

[Luna] - O...  Okay

[Solace] Enjoy yourself, Luna

[Mirabella] - Come Solace, let's go talk

- Sammn is standing outside a small hole, surrounded with torches. Since night was coming, the zombie pigman was stomping around, holding an iron sword cautiously. -

- She is holding her head and muttering, waving a hand around. After a few, she drops both arms with an annoyed grunt. After a few seconds, she stands straight, this time using a single finger to poke the air in front of her –

[in chat] <Sammn> hello

[Doc] Looks up from the cookie xe's eating in the kitchen. It's late and xe's restless. -in chat- Sammn? You okay?

[Karla] Is watching Cp's mobs do their nightly patrol as Chester slips inside to escape a bit of dreary drizzle from the cloudy sky above. She sees the chat as well and awkwardly types back- I take it you can't sleep either Sammn?

[Sammn] - what no

[Doc] Do you need help? Or is it a psychological, 'I've been looking at crap on Ebay for four hours kind of not okay?"

[Karla] Snickers reading the text-

[Sammn] no circle ready almost night too far to travel

[Karla] typing- You're doing some kind of ritual?

[Doc] chat- I'll come to you if you need me. Where are you?

[Sammn] - by the hole past long bridge and villages

[Karla] Looks at Chester. - Do you know where that is?

[Chester] I know where the long bridge is.

[Doc] On my way.

- Sammn growls and sits down on the top step, rubbing their temple. Helm comes over and stands closer, very nervous now that its almost dark -

[Chester] Is running full tilt with Karla on his back.

-There's a bit of a roar from above and the bright yellow dragon decends and steps down danitly a little bit away- Sammn?

[Sammn] - That didn't take long.

[Doc] Puffs hir chest out a bit proudly - Well I can literally chase and catch lightning bolts in this shape.

[Phoenix] Is preening itself a little-

[Doc] loafs like a big cat - How's the birb?

[Sammn] - Happy, seems well adjusted.

[Helm] - eyes Doc and scoots back behind Sammn more.

[Doc] And your new friend there?

[Helm] - signs, then waves.

[Sammn] - This is Helm, they followed us back from the Nether and hung around. Likes it more in the Overworld. All except for Chickens.

[Doc] Ah, well at least Benny is human again. He was the most aggressive chicken on the seed. Nice to meet you Helm, I'm Doc.

[Helm] - waves as they slowly come out from behind Sammn.

[Sammn] - Sadly, they can't speak well. They know a form of sign language.... but don't ask how I know.

[Doc] Oh! Is it like the signing that Steve's brothers do? I know some of that. - They stand up again and shrink down to their human shape with a bit of a flourish before making some simple greeting gestures.

[Helm] - blinks in surprise then signs: You can speak with hands?

[Doc] Waving around- Little bit. One of my roommates has a knack for befriending skeletons.

[Helm] - signs and frowns - Ah, the Burnt skeletons taught me. So I could pass orders.

[Doc] What? Here? I didn't think there was really much organization in our Nether. I've tried hard to keep it mostly wild since that's the way the strongest native Herobrine here likes it. And they're just the normal skeletons. Not withers.

[Helm] Some are, but they do the orders of their Leader. No one disobeys them twice. I followed her - waves at Sammn then knocks on the black skull they are wearing - when they helped get rid of one of the problem ones.

[Chester] Comes racing up with Karla still riding him-

[Karla] Dismounts with a click of boots and the Wunderwaffe strapped to her back makes a happy electrical sound-

[Chester] Flops over and pants-

[Karla] Smirks- Sorry, I tend to have that effect on men.

[Doc] Um... Karla...?

[Karla] Hello Doctor.

[Phoenix] Ruffles feathers and gives Karla a critical eye-

[Helm] - peers around Sammn, who just sighes.

[Karla] Did I miss the excitment?

[Doc] No, I don't think so, who's your friend?

[Karla] That's Chester. Cp worked on him.

[Chester] From the grass-I got thumbs!

[Doc] Does some more hand waving as xe talks- I'm not sure who's aquainted... But this is Dr. Karla Emmerich and Chester. Does the phoenix have a name yet Sammn?

[Sammn] Ah, not that I've figured out. I've tried asking a couple different names, but they ignored it all so far.

[Karla] You said something about a ritual?

[Sammn] - nods and heading into the hole. Helm falls in behind. - Got a bit to get down to the area, but yes. It took me a bit, but I've gotten a set of glyph circles crafted so I can talk to it.

[Phoenix] Flies along behind them-

[Chester] Manages to get up and scoots nervously down a wall backwards-

[Karla] Is weirdly silhouetted from thelight of the massive gun she's so effortlessly carrying.

[Doc] Do you have to take that everywhere?

[Karla] It gets lonely...

- They head down for a few minutes on a simple staircase cut into the rock. Finally it levels out, down a narrow hallway and opens into a large room. One wall is covered in furnaces, brewing stands and several anvils. The other is lined with chests. On the table in the center, there are random potions, some redstone torches and 3 bowls of liquid. -

[Phoenix] Settles down on top of an anvil-

[Karla] Interesting setup. No idols?

[Chester] ooh. Nice and warm in here.

[Sammn] - heads over to the table, grabbing the torches and her knife. - Not needed. The glyphs hopefully should do the trick.

[Helm] - starts packing up the 3 bowls, laying a piece of leather on top to act as a lid. Once they have all three, they head out a doorway in the opposite wall.

[Doc] I hope you didn't need me to bring anything special...

[Chester] Whispers to Helm- You doing okay buddy? Humans are odd aren't they?

[Helm] - nods, unable to shift the bowls to free a hand.

[Sammn] No. The chalk worked far better than my bonemeal version. It held together more than a few minutes.

[Karla] Ah, so you are summoning. Didn't you get enough of that working with me?

[Doc] Well it was from a wizard's school....

[Sammn] Not summoning, just containment for an annoying whispering little demon in a spot I want. It knows why my memories are still messed up and I plan on finding out.

[Karla] Gets an evil look- will we be doing an interrogation?

[Doc] I don't like your tone when you say that Karla.

[Chester] We're not doing something bad, are we?

[Sammn] - shrugs - Depends on how it wants to respond. Karla's presence alone may influence it some.

[Karla] Gives a very unsettling grin- Happy to be of assistance.

[Chester] Decides to hide under a table as best as his new form will allow.

[Phoenix] Settles down and tucks it's head away-

[Sammn] - heads into the other doorway, which leads into a much larger room. The whole place is of stone brick, with just enough torches lining the place to prevent most mobs from spawning. In the dead center of the room sits an enderchest, around it are three complexe circles of glowing symbols and redstone. The inner most is black, but glows white. The middle is bright yellow, pulsing softly like glowstone, The outside circle, throbs a deep red in time to a heartbeat. -

[Karla] Interesting arrangement. It looks like you've been doing your homework.

[Doc] Is just staring, a bit used to Dawn's more homebrew approach.

[Chester] Sneaks over to peek into the doorway.

[Helm] - is standing out of the way, worriedly fidgeting -

[Chester] Also fidgeting. He's aquired a small leather vest since Cp's alterations and is pulling on it a bit nervously-

[Sammn] It's not ideal, but should do. Now, simply put: DO NOT CROSS any of the glyphs. It can't do anything but fuss, as long as you stay outside. - points to the outside ring.

[Doc] Loud and clear. I understand a complex mechanisim when I see one.

[Karla] This should be amusing.

[Sammn] — gives everything one last look over before putting down a single Redstone torch, which starts a chain reaction. As the Redstone grid lights, each glyph circle flares brighter. When it reaches the center, the ender chest shakes hard, followed by the lid slamming open. Slowly, a black tendril reaches out. -

[Chester] Very squeaky little scream-

[Doc] Shushes him-

[Karla] Leans forward slightly, her eyes glistening with unwholesome anticipation.

[?] - three more tendrils snake out, each bracing themselves. Giving a heave, a black mass flops out of the chest. Shuddering violently, it's form fills out into a rough black cube, the tendrils attached to each upper corner. A large red eye snaps open to glare at everyone. -

[Karla] Hello again-

[Doc] Little hiss- That looks... not good.

[?] - growls and hunkers down - Damnare potest humanum est, perseverare autem cur vexas nobis

[Sammn] - comes up to the edge of the outer circle - You where told to not use that language last time.

[Doc] Humans? Are present? Vexas means angry right?

[Karla] Rolls her eyes a little at Doc-

[Doc] What?!?

[Sammn] - sighs - Considering how talkitive you have been as of late, you hold your collective tounges now?

[Karla] Have we any more information on the one that helped you escape as a result of that talkativeness?

[?] - glares and rumble/growls - Our words were meant to annoy, not inform.

[Doc] Well that's not very helpful.

[Chester] Are you a new mob?

[?] - shifts gaze over - You speak, little bug? How odd?

[Chester] I'm uh... employed by a Herobrine. It has it's perks.

[Helm] - shuffles back into the doorway, snorting softly.

[Chester] At Helm- Don't get close, it's a mean tentacle monster.

[Karla] That's putting it mildly.

[Sammn] Enough. You will answer some of my questions.

[Wunderwaffe] Weird electrical chattering-

[Karla] Yeeeessss, lets have some questions....

[Doc] We could negotiate, maybe?

[?] - shakes and makes a gurgling slurp sound - What ever does the child think they are? Why would we even consider offering anything of value to any of you?

[Karla] Because we have all the time in the world to pick you apart if you won't cooperate.

[Doc] Easy! Geeze... Look we can get all kinds of things to trade with. We just need information.

[Sammn] - holds out hand, slowly making a fist. As her hand closes, the inner ring shrinks, forcing the demon-thing back into the center. - You can freely offer some answers, or I can put you back in that chest and then put you in the End for a while. You will be alone. Utterly alone.

[Karla] I can think of worse things if my advice is sought as well...

[?] - the red eye closes. On its left side, a blue eye opens. It almost looks normal. The voice is calmer, both several male and female ones, overlapping - For now... we will... atleast hear your questions.

[Doc] Sammn came here running for her life. We need to know if anyone else is out there that needs rescuing.

[Karla] I'd like to know exactly what you are and where you came from.

[Chester] Is anyone else as terrified as I am right now?

[Helm] — squeel-snorts a definite agreement to Chester.

[Chester] Little fist bump for Helm- I think I'm having a hearts attack.

[Doc] Good grief, do you want a potion Chester???

[Chester] No-no! Sorry!

[?] - the eye squints, blinking several times before speaking - Many beings need help, but in relation to her - points a tentacle at Sammn - there is the one she is bound to... Our ill-fated would-be prey. The white eyed man the betrayer promised us.

[Doc] White eyes! Now that sounds promising!

[Karla] Collecting those seems to be a local hobby....

[Chester] Bound? Like a mate?

[?] - shakes and hops around, so the rear eye faces them. A large orange eye with a vertical pupil opens. Lights seems for flicker inside the orange space, and when it meets every one's gaze, they get the feeling that it was seeing through them. - Bound as in, she bares the his sigil. That mark... was why we couldn't keep her.

[Doc] A mark? Do you have a tattoo someplace Sammn?

[Karla] Like what you see demon?

[Chester] I think I'm going to throw up...

[Sammn] - frowns and puts a hand on her stomach - Not a tattoo, a scar, several of them.

[Doc] Scars are easy to remove.

[Karla] At Doc-  Then why do you have two of them on your face?

[Doc] Just... decoration...

[?] - watches all of them, it's mouth curling in a smile - Of course, remove it.

[Doc] Wait, what? I'm just talking cosmetics here! I'm a doctor!

[Karla] Don't, that's what it wants.

[Sammn] No. I'm not sure, but I think it's telling something of the truth. But that's only one of the answers I want. Why, if I am no longer possessed, are my memories not whole.

[Karla] Trauma? If it was something terrible you may have blocked it out.

[Wunderwaffe] Bzzrp.

[?] - hunkers down, slitting it's eye lids so only a sliver of orange is seen - You are not the one we were promised. - it's voice drops an octave, picking up more of them as it talks - You were nothing but a pathetic child, weak and mortal. The White Eyed one... did something that interfered with your death. Death frees the soul, we feast and gain form. But your death wasn't, we were trapped as you were. Only weakened could we control. - it turns to glare directly at Karla.

[Karla] lets out a low mean laugh. - I'll take that look as a compliment.

[Doc] Control? Why? Did you just need a physical form?

[?] Souls... for our... army. Form allows a chance to gather more. - it turns its glare on Sammn - Generals are the best for both.

[Doc] Is chilled- Why do you need an army?

[?] - whispers - We are what we are.

[Doc] Am I talking to myself here????

[Karla] I think you're not trained for this kind of thing.

[Chester] Hugs himself- I think you're evil....

[Sammn] Enough. - squeezes fist, making the ring of glowing glyphs narrow more. The demon-thing hisses, then levers itself up on top of the chest, a writhing ball of hate. - You are trying to distract us and only answered part of our questions.

[Doc] I've gotta have something in here!? - starts turning out things from hir inventory.

[Karla] Nods in approval at Sammn- Maybe you should squeeze them just a bit more....

[?] - hisses and curls itself up tighter - illegitimus filius hominis vermis

[Sammn] Perhaps you need better motivation... - pulls knife and goes over to one of the bowls and flips the leather off, allowing the contents to glow brightly. Dipping the tip of the blade in, she holds it up so the demon-thing can see the white fluid as it drips off. The thing shudders, closing all eyes for a second before the blue one reopens.

[Karla] What do you have there my friend?

[Doc] Whoops! - a small honesty flitter makes a break for it from Doc's inventory and hovers just out of reach.

[Sammn] The closest thing to a Holy Blessing one can acquire, without asking a deity for assistance. - leers at demon-thing.

[?] - it matches her gaze, but doesn't move otherwise - You are as vile as the Betrayer, deceitful child.

-The flitter lazily flaps nearer the circle-

[Doc] Sammn?! Does it matter if it's something above it, or just on the floor?!?!

[Sammn] The glyphs themselves, specifically.  Touching them, can alter them. - doesn't break gaze with demon-thing.

-Flitter flaps nearer the demon thing-

[?] - slowly smiles - Ask your question.

[Karla] Tell us why you need an army.

[Doc] Is her Herobrine in danger?

[Chester] Very quietly- was the betrayer a NOTCH?

[?] - looks at Karla - Even we have those who command us, thus we gather for them.

[Karla] Who is your master evil creature?

[?] - looks at Doc - He has been since the Betrayer failed to fulfill his end of our deal.

[?] - shifts gaze to Chester - Define this Notch?

[Doc] Swears- Does he have a title? I might be able to get sysop assistance if he has a special name.

[Chester] Scary black eyes like a doll, ragged brown shirt and usually a bald head... Ours was a monster.... So large and strong...

[?] - squints at him, then looks over at Sammn - She has a name, although it's locked in her head.

[Doc] Maybe a dream session with Cp or some meditation with TLOT could help unlock that..

[Chester] .... Shrinks, intimidated

[Karla] You were in her head. How can you not know it?

[Sammn] - is watching intently -

[?] We do, but why would we?

-the flitter bats it's wings and makes. Slow circle over the blok-

[Sammn] - walks as close as possible to the outer edge - Cause I can offer you a deal?

[Doc] Careful Sammn...

[?] - smiles - And what would you offer that I would need?

[Sammn] Revenge.

[Karla] Ah my favorite thing...

[?] - it's smile fades and all the eyes open - NOW, that would be something we 'd like...

[Sammn] You call him betrayer, but he trapped you. Used you and then broke his part of your deal. I bet, this one is the same as the other one. The enemy of my enemy.... I will promise that I will try to get you a chance at extracting your revenge on him.

[Doc] I guess we've had worse just hanging around... But no possessing or killing people! I won't stand for it. There are kids here and people with mental issues that don't need the stress

[Karla] I don't think our friend here will find disengaging from the bag nearly as easy as they might think either.

[Chester] Wait ... You're going to let it lose?!?!

[?] - flops off the chest, still staring at Sammn - Only because you were our recent host, do we believe you.

[Sammn] Then you agree, to all of it? Helping me regain my memories, as well as uphold Doc's rules? In return, you shall get a chance of revenge. Yes?

[Karla] Seems almost Disappointed they couldn't torment it some more

[?] - grumbles - Yes, we have a deal.

[Doc] Do you have a name?

[Karla] if they do not: I propose Legion.

[Chester] Would anyone mind if I ran the fuck away at a somewhat undignified speed?

[Helm] - waves from the shadows of the doorway.

[Chester] Looks at the zombie- you mind?!? You're kidding right?!??!

[Legion] - glares at Karla - Lucky guess mortal.

[Helm] - rolls eyes and grabs Chester, pushing them ahead into the outer room.

[Karla] grinning unnervingly- I just had a feeling.

[Doc] I think I'm missing something... A legion is a bunch of soldiers right?

[Karla] in this case it's a conglomeration of demons.

[Doc] OH...

[Chester] at Helm- What is it?

[Helm] - signing - If you want out, it's this way. Just... Stop screaming, please.

[Chester] Oh! Thank you! - there's the littlest scuff of loose pixels as he scrabbles all his feet and he is GONE. Rushing out frantically into the night and back toward Lies house.

[Sammn] - walks to the first glyph circle. A quick shuffle of her foot and the glyph explodes into a shower sparks. The whole circle flares and disappears. She does the same to the next circle. At the last one, she looks down at the blessed knife then repeats the process, dispelling the last circle.

[Doc] Soooo... Hi.

[Helm] - stands there shaking their head at the other mob's behavior.

[Legion] - hops forward, very similar to a slime cube. The green eye is open, scanning everything.

[Karla] At Helm- it's fine. I can get back on my own.

[Doc] is trying to catch the honesty flitter, it's proving a bit elusive.

[Karla] Graciously offers a gloved hand to shake one of the tendrils. - Charmed. And you'll find that I may not actually be mortal anymore.

[Wunderwaffe] happy electrical  chirp

[Legion] - glowers as all the tendrils coil back toward its - Be that as it may, you would not wish to touch us. Not yet, atleast.

[Karla] Ah, just being formal. I will refrain then.

[Doc] Is your form unstable?

[Legion] - Stable enough, for now. We have been well fed during our time within... - whips a tendril at Sammn.

[Sammn] Fed? From of me?

[Doc] What is it with tentacle things and strange appetites?

[Karla] emotions and blood I'd presume

[Legion] Typically, we are formless. Our shape is not our choice. Emotions are usefull, but we told you what we feed off... The child kept us well fed. - hops a little closer to Sammn -

[Sammn] That makes little sense. You said you were unable to take my soul, - eyes it suspiciously - so how did I feed you?

[Doc] Finally catches the flitter and holds the frantically flapping bug near Legion- what did you feed on?

[Legion] Souls.

[Doc] Yeah.. please don't do that here.

[jessicaxnicole]

November 15, 2012

I have wanted to write about this night since it happened, but yet here I am, almost 5 years later trying to figure out where to even begin. To protect myself from purging my emotions all at once, I have had to write this bit by bit. I haven’t allowed myself to think deeply about that night, let alone write about every detail. Part of me feels like I have put it off for so long because in a way, once I write it, reality will painfully set in even more. Another part of me feels like once I let it all out, I will finally get rid of this anchor sitting on my chest. I guess I will find out as I type and at this moment, i’m at a loss for words.

Something about that day, from the moment I woke up, didn’t feel right.. I should have been ecstatic because I was just getting ready to sign a lease for a beautiful townhouse with my friend but everything about the day just felt eery. The weather, my mood, everything just felt gray and I couldn’t put my finger on what it was causing me to feel this way. Driving home, I called my mom briefly and talked to her about the plans for the townhouse. At the time, I was already dealing with depression and happened to be seeing a counselor the following day in harrisonburg. So it made sense to also finalize everything with the townhouse since it was right down the road. Mom and I had a whole day planned out - go to my appointment, finalize the lease, and then a chipotle date since mom had never been. I was so excited because we never got to spend this kind of time together due to her job. Little did I know that my world was about to be completely rocked in a matter of 8 hours. The oncoming hours, are moments that I will always regret for the rest of my life. I felt depressed and all I wanted to do was get in bed and sulk in my emotions. At the time, I was taking Xanax (something I personally don’t recommend) because I just wanted to go to sleep and forget about everything. Mom had just gotten home from work and was getting ready to start her nightly ritual - cook me something for dinner, finish her charting from patients she saw that day, and watch a movie. She came upstairs to say hello and love on me per usual but I just pushed her away. I told her I just wanted another xanax so I could go to sleep. She tried cuddling up to me and again, I was just cold and distant. After a few minutes she got up and told me to come downstairs to watch a movie if I wanted, then left my room. If only I knew that was the last time I would get to talk to my mom, cuddle with her, see her beaming smile, and feel her unconditional love, I would have done it all so differently. But thats the shitty thing about life, you take for granted the most important moments and then its too late.

Mom went downstairs to finish her charting and a few minutes later my boyfriend at the time arrived and came upstairs to my room. One of the first things he said to me was that my mom was acting strange and didn’t speak to him much which was the complete opposite from her normal loving self. I didn’t really think much of it at the time because I literally just saw her moments before, so I completely ignored it.

The following events are honestly somewhat of a blur so bare with me if there are little gaps. I don’t know how to explain where my brain went during everything. I just know it all happened so quickly and oddly at the same time it was like I was watching my entire world fall apart in slow motion. We were getting ready to leave when I heard a huge crash. It reminded me of the time my moms beautiful picture hung up in the kitchen came shattering down to the floor. The only difference between both times is that when I yelled for mom, I didn’t get a response this time. My heart immediately started racing and I bolted to go run downstairs. That’s when I got to the top of the stairs and saw her laying face down on our kitchen floor. Her phone was thrown half way across the room, there was glass everywhere from a drink she was holding, and then I saw blood start to appear. I just remember screaming “MOM” and running down the steps. By the time I got to the bottom of the steps, there was a pool of blood filling so quickly and at the time, I didn’t even realize where it was coming from or what had happened. I started shaking her gently to see if she would wake up and again, no response. Her breathing was so strange, I still to this day can’t describe it. I started screaming at my boyfriend to find my phone and call 911 and of course, for whatever reason, my phone would not connect to 911. We finally were able to call on his phone and within minutes a cop was at my house. I just remember running outside screaming at the cop. I don’t even recollect what i was saying, I just know she kept telling me to calm down and tell her what happened while she followed me inside. As soon as she saw my mom she immediately began asking me if my mom was on blood thinners and a number of questions. Dad was not home but I had already called him at this point and then began calling everyone else I could think of that needed to know. The next few moments are honestly a complete blur to me, I just know my dad and the ambulance arrived at the same time. There was so many people, so many flashing lights and sirens, so many questions projected at me, all at once. I overheard one medic say they wanted to try to land Pegasus in our back yard, heard another say her eyes showed signs of a stroke. The next thing I know they’re landing the helicopter on 262 and mom was being flown to UVA.

As we’re in the car on the way to the hospital, I honestly thought she was going to be fine. I don’t know why I thought that considering the state she was in. When we arrived, we were immediately escorted into a “family room” and that’s when I knew something wasn’t right. I remember thinking why aren’t we being taken to her room? Where is my mom at? What the f*** is going on? The room just felt cold, not as in temperature cold, but the feeling it gave. It was just plain, with tissues on every single table. Nothing about that room gave me a good feeling and all I wanted was to get out and find my mother immediately.

That’s when the doctor walked in…I could tell by the pained look on his face that something really was not right. He then sat down next to dad and I and began telling us that mom must have had a fall that caused severe, irreversible brain trauma and that there was nothing they could do for her. I don’t remember anyone else’s reaction in the room and honestly its probably better that way. I do recall practically attacking him with so many crazy, ridiculous questions like i was some doctor. Honestly I wish I could apologize for some of the stupid shit I said but in those moments I had no control over my reactions. For instance, I asked him if they could drill a hole in her head to relieve pressure/blood but then he had to explain just how severe the trauma was, and how drilling a hole would only make it worse. My dumb self even began to ask if he could do a transplant but then thats when common sense kicked in and I realized how stupid I sounded and shut up (and btw, of course I know you cannot do that).

Part of my brain completely shut off any memory of what happened when they took us to her room. The parts I do recall are just of me running frantically back and forth between her room and the hallway. I couldn’t handle seeing her like that so I’d bolt out the room, just to turn right around and come back because I didn’t want to leave her side. Mom was always the one taking care of us, so knowing I couldn’t do a damn thing to help her was and is still the most helpless feelings in the world.

The doctors began talking about the decisions and plans we needed to make because time was a factor. If we wanted to donate her organs, we would need to pull her off life support within the next few hours. If we didn’t want to donate, we could keep her on life support but that was the only thing keeping her alive. My mom never wanted to live life if she couldn’t do what she loved and help everyone around her. Like I mentioned before, she was always the one providing care, and she never wanted anyone to have to care for her. To be on life support and have everyone taking care of her was something she did not want. Her and dad apparently had a conversation about if something were to happen and he ultimately made the decision to honor her wish by choosing to donate her organs. She without a doubt was the most selfless human beings I have ever met and I’m so glad I could help chose to let her “give back” one last time by donating.

The following day, November 16, 2012, was when she was officially pronounced dead. For me though, I will always consider the 15th the day she really left us. Dad and I were already home during the time she passed and we believe she decided to give us one last “goodbye”. Dad was downstairs when he heard someone open and close the door to let my dog in. When he went in the living room to see who it was, no one was there. I, at the time, was trying to sleep and drown out everything that just occurred when I had the strangest dream. I dreamt dad and I were standing in some field, talking to mom, except we couldn’t physically see her. I just remember her saying “I’m okay honey, I love you so much”  over and over. The harsh reality of course would set in the moment I woke up.

To this day, we do not know what made her fall the way she did. She was only on the second step heading upstairs when she fell. The doctors say that she practically did a head dive into the floor and more than likely she had suffered from an aneurysm or a stroke before the fall. Unfortunately, we will never know exactly what happened because the autopsy wasn’t able to determine due to the severity of brain damage. Except, I know for a fact that if my mom was conscious or able, she would have attempted to catch herself. That is something I am still trying to find peace in.

To say the past 5 years have been hard, would be an understatement. Although, I can honestly say I am finally happy with where I am in life now. Everyday I try to remind myself of what my mom would want and how I can strive to be just like her. She would want me to be happy and successful in whatever I am passionate about. It may have taken going to hell and back but again, I am finally where I need to be in life and that is all that matters. I still have a ways to go and more growing to do but honestly, I am proud of how far I have come. Everything I do is for you, Mom.