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artificialqueens · 4 years

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Not Nineteen Forever (18) (Branjie/Scyvie/Ninex)- Ortega

a/n: heeey heyheyhey! i tried not to leave u all on a cliffhanger for too long. thank u so so much for all the love on the last chapter, it honestly made my whole week! again if u like this one feel free to send some love either to AQ or on my blog. hope u all enjoy! P.S. i knew i forgot to mention something! the song the girls sing at the end is called Good Girl’s Gone Bad by Booty Luv (lmfao) if u want to get the vibe of how it actually sounds, because i hate trying to convey a song via simply italicised lyrics lolol)

trigger warning: alcohol xo

please note: this fic contains young adults often behaving in irresponsible/unadvisable ways with regards to alcohol, drugs and sex. if you are someone who feels as if they could be heavily influenced by fic and incorporate what happens in the plot into ur own life, pls steer clear!

summary: Brooke, Yvie and Nina are three flatmates who forged a friendship in their first year of university and picked up some other waifs and strays along the way. Now in their final year, there are feelings that need to be unravelled and confessions to be made whilst navigating drunk nights, hungover mornings, takeaways, group chats, library meetups, cafe gossiping, and the small matter of getting a degree.

last chapter: the gang headed to a big house in the country and things between Brooke and Vanessa got a little more than civil in the hot tub.

this chapter: the girls have to pick up the pieces for the 195th time. but karaoke and gin solves everything, right?

***

Scarlet lay back in bed, panting and looking up at the ceiling as Yvie emerged from the covers underneath her, her cheeks red. Holding her arms out for a cuddle, Scarlet’s heart swelled up as Yvie, exhausted, threw her head down against Scarlet’s chest. Scarlet knew Yvie would be able to hear her heart beat. She liked that. She liked being intimate with Yvie in ways like they just had been, when Yvie’s tongue was between her legs and Scarlet was crying out into the silence of the house without a care for who heard them, but she also loved the intimacy of Yvie knowing parts of her that nobody else knew, like a secret they both shared.

“I love you,” Scarlet sighed, pressing a kiss to Yvie’s chaos of curls as the other girl wrapped her arms around her waist and squeezed.

“I love you too, baby. So much,” Yvie replied, Scarlet able to feel how she smiled against her skin and unable to stop herself from smiling too.

They lay there for a moment in the foreign room, Scarlet taking in their surroundings. A green carpet, scuffed and worn. A white ceiling with endless cracks snaking across it like a map. An inexplicably out of context painting of a hunt in the countryside, and a window with no curtains where the bright sunshine of the new day shone in unrelentingly through the unpolished glass.

“How are you this morning, you hanging?” Yvie asked her, Scarlet frowning.

“Nah. I never drank that much. You?” she asked, sitting up a little and causing Yvie to shift.

“I’ve got a little headache but I’m not sure if it was the alcohol or just this bed.”

“We were drinking red wine, to be fair. That was a bad call,” Scarlet rubbed her temples, concluding that she’d had a lucky escape. They’d bought it when Plastique had stopped at the small Co-Op in the village nearest the house to stock up, and they’d giggled in the wine aisle as they had decided to buy something civilised to pretend they were characters in an Agatha Christie novel and swan around the big house dressed to the nines. Although when Scarlet had seen Yvie last night she’d immediately wanted to rip her dress off. It had turned out Yvie had thought the same, and a little smile spread across Scarlet’s face as she remembered them, pressed up against the bedroom wall, messy and passionate as they hitched their dresses up and touched each other frantically and came apart. Scarlet wriggled, crossing her legs and squeezing them together.

“Jesus, what is with you this weekend? You’re so horny, like, all the time,” Yvie laughed, noticing her reaction. Scarlet gave a guilty smile.

“I can’t help it that I have the sexiest girlfriend here,” she shrugged, Yvie rolling herself onto her back and throwing her fists in the air into a triumphant stretch.

“Actually I think you’ll find I have the official hottest girl in the room as a girlfriend, so. Check and mate, princess."

Scarlet gave a snort. "Hey, I was merely a pawn in the huge game of fucking chess that is Vanjie and Brooke at the moment, I don’t think I was anything more than a jealousy crash test dummy.”

“Hmm, well. You got dummy right,” Yvie said playfully, laughing as Scarlet pushed her slightly off the bed, then pulled her back again. Scarlet pulled her close, unease forming in the pit of her stomach.

“You know I’m just yours, right? I only-”

“Oh my God Scarlet, relax!” Yvie laughed, squeezing her. “I know there was nothing to that kiss at all, shut up. I trust you. I love you. It was a dare, these girls are our friends, and Vanjie’s about as harmless as an actual cucumber. Chill.”

Scarlet obediently relaxed, glad to have reassured Yvie even if she didn’t need reassured in the first place. She paused, then spoke again. “I don’t know, you could do a bit of damage to someone with a cucumber.”

“I’d do a bit of damage to you with a cucumber,” Yvie wiggled her eyebrows, Scarlet screeching a laugh and swatting at her.

“You’re disgusting. I hate you.”

“You wish you hated me,” Yvie stuck her tongue out at her, and Scarlet sighed.

“It would make my life a lot easier if I did,” she replied playfully, a loud rumble from her stomach cutting her off. She frowned. “Hungry.”

Yvie gave another stretch, her ankles cracking loudly. “Do you want to go down, get the glasses from the living room and stick some bacon on a pan or some shit?”

“Stick some bacon on a pan or some shit. Gordon Ramsay, love your work!”

The two girls continued to bicker as they threw their pyjamas back on, bounced down the stairs and collected the glasses left in the living room from last night. Scarlet was glad to see that there were no rings left from any drinks on tables, her airbnb account safe from a scathing review from whoever even owned this place. Looking at the sofa her and Yvie had sat on last night, she laughed as she remembered her and Vanjie’s ridiculous kiss. The girl got no points for subtlety.

“How did Brooke get more jealous than you when me and Vanj got with each other? You’re my actual girlfriend and you gave less of a shit,” Scarlet mused, walking into the kitchen behind Yvie and setting the glasses down beside the sink.

“Because I know that I’m yours and you’re mine and Brooke knows that she fucked it with Vanjie so she can’t kiss her whenever she wants to like I can with you. I got to have you back in my arms after that kiss and have you reassure me, she didn’t get that,” Yvie shrugged, getting the bacon out of the fridge. She ran her tongue over her teeth as she locked eyes with Scarlet. “Plus it was hot, not gonna lie.”

“Fuck, are we going to have a threesome now, is that what this is?” Scarlet asked dryly, secretly flattered.

“Bad enough having to throw your fuckin’ teddy across the room whenever I’m dicking you down at yours.”

“Just once I’d love to talk about sex with you and not want to blow my own brains out,” Scarlet continued deadpanning, snorting as Yvie began to laugh in her own goofy way. Scarlet loved the old married couple bickering that they always seemed to fall into, having absorbed so much of Yvie’s humour the longer she spent with her. It was one of just so many things she loved about her. “Did something go on between them last night, by the way?”

“Oh, hundred percent,” Yvie rolled her eyes as she wrenched a frying pan from a cupboard. “Yay, another Brooke Lynn shaped mess me and Nina are gonna have to pick up the pieces of! Can’t wait!”

“Yves,” Scarlet warned, dunking the glasses into the hot, soapy water she’d filled the sink with. “Be nice. She’s your best friend, we all make mistakes.”

“I want to grab her by the shoulders and shake her like a fucking maraca. It’s like she’s been challenged to make as many bad decisions that she can and if she gets to a certain amount she wins a prize. What do you think her target is? Two hundred? Five hundred?”

“Stop,” Scarlet laughed, her smile almost cracking her face as she turned around, hearing a set of footsteps pad softly down the steps to the kitchen. Akeria emerged, her makeup from the night before smeared across her face like a child’s painting and her long, blonde hair twirled up into a bun. “Morning, Kiki. You sleep okay?”

“The sleep was fine. It’s the awake part I’m strugglin’ with,” she groaned, sliding into one of the wooden chairs and resting her head in her hands. “Is this what a hangover’s like when you turn twenty two? I don’t want it.”

“No, that’s what a hangover’s like when you drink three bottles of six pound Shiraz,” Yvie raised an eyebrow at the suffering girl, Scarlet feeling guilty as she laughed.

“Leave me alone, it’s my birthday,” Akeria whined, Scarlet’s stomach rumbling again as the smell of bacon began to waft through the kitchen.

“Are you gonna use that excuse for the entirety of March?” Yvie chuckled, turning around from the aga. Scarlet took the rolls they’d bought out of the cupboard and got the butter out of the fridge.

“Yes,” Akeria rubbed her eyes so hard Scarlet worried for her eyelash extensions. “Tell me I didn’t do anythin’ embarrassing?”

“You honestly didn’t,” Scarlet said kindly, her heart going out to Akeria. “I don’t think you have any bad decisions to worry about.”

“Apart from the whole drinking three bottles of wine thing,” Yvie shrugged.

“Vanjie, on the other hand…” Akeria sighed, Yvie growing animated at the stove.

“Right? We were just talking about this. Do you know what happened?”

“Not yet. She better be in that fucking room with Silk and Plastique or I’ll personally whoop her ass,” Akeria narrowed her eyes.

“She’s not,” came Plastique’s voice from the stairs, Silky following after.

“Good morning campers! How are we?” Silky’s voice boomed cheerfully into the echoing kitchen, making Scarlet flinch even though she wasn’t all that hungover.

“Silky, I’m honestly going to murder you in your sleep,” Akeria said flatly.

“You think this is bad! The bitch decided to give me a full one-woman show of The Bodyguard last night before bed!” Plastique cried in outrage, filling the kettle up and flicking on the switch.

“It was BEAUTIFUL and EMOTIONAL and GROUNDBREAKING!” Silky yelled, throwing herself down into the chair next to her flatmate dramatically.

“Please someone kill me,” Akeria sighed.

“Were you guys talking about Brooke and Vanjie?” Plastique steered the conversation back as the kettle bubbled. “They’re in Brooke’s room. She didn’t sleep in ours.”

“I’m losing the will to live with her, I swear to Jesus,” Akeria sighed woefully, shaking her head like a long-suffering mother.

“So wait, what exactly is going on between them? Like, we can build quite a unique perspective here. We got me and we got Yvie to tell you what Brooke’s thinking, and we got you three to give us Vanjie’s perspective,” Plastique said, with all the energy of a detective solving a mystery. Yvie snorted.

“Yeah, good luck with that, we all know Brooke’s mind is like fucking Alcatraz,” she rolled her eyes, distributing the bacon between the rolls Scarlet had sliced open and buttered.

“And Monet can give us the Monique tea. Once she stops banging Nina,” Plastique shrugged. “Who wants tea, who wants coffee?”

“I want the sweet embrace of death,” Akeria murmured.

“TEA!” Silky ordered at top volume.

“Or failing that, to be deaf.”

Scarlet helped Plastique dish up teas and coffees. She remembered Monet and Nina were both tea people, and how they both took it (she’d spent enough time round at Yvie’s to be a tea-making expert for everyone that lived or was frequently round at the flat) so she made one up for each of the girls in case they emerged within the next five minutes or so.

“We should set up a charity. Flatmates Living with Absolute Pisstakers,” Yvie laughed humourlessly, Scarlet laughing as she realised something.

“FLAPS,” she abbreviated, causing the girls round the table to snort out a few giggles.

“Okay so what do you know?” Silky pointed a finger at Scarlet, the girl jumping a little in surprise. “We wanna see if it matches what we know.”

Scarlet shrugged. She’d had lectures with Vanessa and hung out like she always did, but if she was honest Vanessa hadn’t given away much about how she was feeling about Brooke. Scarlet had tried to prise something out of her, mentioning how it was good they had seemed to get along at her birthday party, but Vanessa had just shrugged and said she had to grow up and be civil eventually. She relayed this to the girls, Silky sighing deeply.

“Okay, good. So we know about as much as you,” she said, voice full of regret.

“She’s treating the whole thing as a massive joke, but we know different. We were there when she cried herself to sleep in the flat, we made her food when she couldn’t get out of bed. None of which she fuckin’ ate, but still. We know how much Brooke affected her, even if Brooke doesn’t,” Akeria explained. Scarlet’s heart hurt remembering how badly Vanessa took the breakup.

“She’s pretending that she’s over her and fuckin’ around with Monique ain’t helping,” Silky hissed.

Plastique made a face. “I think Brooke knew how much Vanessa liked her. She felt really bad about the breakup, but she was just doing what she thought was best.”

“Which is okay if that’s the decision that she’s sticking to! But it’s not! The bitch got up last night, kissed her in front of all of us and then probably slept with her!” Akeria sighed irritably, tearing into her bacon roll with aggression. Scarlet mirrored her sigh. That was the thing, she did have to agree with Akeria- Brooke breaking things off with Vanjie was fine, but changing her mind so violently? It had to mess with Vanjie’s head.

“Well, basically,” Yvie began, exhaling a little as she presumably knew what she was about to say would cause tension. “I get the impression from Brooke that she has changed her decision.”

Silky laughed harshly in disbelief. “What?!”

Yvie raised her hands in the air. “I mean, don’t shoot the messenger, but yeah. She was big pressed when V started sleeping with Monique. I think she feels like she fucked it.”

“Well, she did,” Akeria said venomously, just as footsteps came from the little steps to the kitchen. The girls held their breath, Scarlet’s eyes growing wide as she craned her neck to see who was coming.

“Morning!” Nina’s sing-song voice cut through the silence happily, pausing abruptly when she felt the atmosphere in the room. Scarlet felt sorry for her; she had no idea what she was walking into.

“Hey, girl. We made you both tea,” she smiled, addressing Monet who had traipsed in behind Nina in her huge baggy pyjamas, looking every inch still half-asleep.

“Okay, and what is the tea? Because you’re all suspicious as fuck right now. In the time I’ve known these girls, they’re never silent,” Monet raised an eyebrow, taking her cup and leaning against the counters. Silky leant forward, her face conspiratorial.

“We’re talking Brooke and Vanjie.”

“Oh, good,” Monet flared her nostrils as she celebrated sarcastically.

“Good, so you’re about as done with them as we are,” Akeria rolled her eyes. “V didn’t sleep in her own bed last night. We think she slept with Brooke.”

“Well, that was obvious enough when they never came to watch the film.”

Scarlet pulled a face, eager not to jump to conclusions. “Maybe they talked everything out? We can’t assume.”

“Scarlet, come on. If there was talking involved, it wasn’t gonna be U rated,” Yvie smiled indulgently at her. Scarlet had to concede.

“You’re Monique’s flatmate, girl, where does she come into all of this?” Plastique asked Monet, bringing her knees up to her chest and balancing her coffee cup on top.

“It’s none of my business,” Monet threw her hands up in the air. Akeria rolled her eyes.

“Come on, bitch, give us a crumb.”

Monet sighed, relenting. “Aight, well. Monique is well aware how much Vanjie still seems into Brooke, because from what she’s said Vanessa has made that perfectly clear to her.”

“Oh, Jesus Christ on a crucifix,” Silky exclaimed, rolling her eyes.

“So Vanjie’s still hung up on Brooke?” Scarlet asked, trying to clarify the situation.

“And Brooke’s still into Vanjie,” Nina said casually, some of Yvie’s coffee splashing onto her pyjamas as she whirled around to face Nina.

“What?!”

“She told me after Scarlet’s birthday. Shit, I wasn’t meant to tell you guys that,” Nina clamped a hand over her mouth involuntarily, worry etched onto her face. “Guys, fuck, you can’t tell her I told you.”

“Nice of her to let me know, Jesus!” Yvie snarled, Scarlet reaching a hand out and stroking her knuckles soothingly.

“I wouldn’t take it personally, babe. You know it’s like trying to get blood from a stone with her and her feelings. I guess it’s good she at least told one of us?” Nina gave a sympathetic shrug, clearly feeling bad.

Plastique tore a hand through her hair. “So wait, Brooke likes Vanjie and Vanjie likes Brooke? Why don’t they just get back together then?”

“Because like fuck is my girl getting hurt again when Brooke changes her mind for a third time,” Akeria scowled up at Plastique. “And anyone who thinks they’re gonna be good together after everything that’s happened is trash, sorry.”

“Kiki, c'mon. That’s harsh,” Nina frowned, disapproving. Akeria shot her a nasty look.

“Nobody wants to see Brooke or Vanjie get hurt. They’re both our friends,” Scarlet cut in, trying to play peacemaker.

“I’m just sayin’, Vanj would do well to just focus on Monique, who from what I’ve heard actually treats her right. She certainly doesn’t use her like a fucking sex doll whenever she wants,” Akeria spat. Scarlet grew tense as she saw Yvie bristling.

“Actually that’s exactly what their entire friendship is built on,” Monet cut in with a laugh, keen to ease the tension.

“Akeria, come on, we both know that’s bullshit. If Brooke and Vanj did sleep with each other last night it was one messy fuck after a bit of drinking, they weren’t thinking straight.”

“Did you see V top up her drink once last night?” Akeria shot back instantly, the lawyer jumping out. “Yeah, exactly. And Brooke had what, three, four beers? I was sinking more than that in parks when I was fifteen, that’s fucking children’s numbers. Weren’t thinking straight my ass. They both knew exactly what they were doing.”

“Brooke doesn’t exactly know that V still likes her back, does she? For all she knows this is just a bit of fun to her. Let’s not be too quick to judge,” Nina soothed. Silky snorted with derision.

“Nina, I love you, but the blind man’s fuckin’ guide dog can see Vanjie’s still got feelings.”

“Ah, but you have to remember Brooke’s got the emotional intelligence of a Build-A-Bear,” Plastique pointed out, Akeria shrugging slowly and nodding.

“I guess.”

“I have a great plan for you all,” Monet said suddenly, frowning ever so slightly. “Why don’t you just let the pair of them make their own fuckin’ decisions and mind your own damn business? This has nothing to do with any of us.”

“Sorry Monet, but if it involves our best friend getting her heart broke again then it damn right does have something to do with me!” Akeria objected, Plastique breaking out into awkward laughter at the tense trajectory of the conversation.

Monet calmed down, taking a deep breath. “Look, Kiki, it’s hard for me too watching one of my best friends sleeping with someone that’s clearly still hung up on someone else. But it’s their lives, not ours. We can’t make them do anything. You just have to be the good friends I know you bitches are and be there for them if it all falls down.”

“When it all falls down.” Yvie raised her eyebrows and took a long sip of her drink.

“Yvie, you’re not helping!” Scarlet hissed.

As Monet’s words sank in, the girls had a small moment of silence to reflect on their conversation. Before Scarlet had time to generate any new thoughts, however, there came a sharp thud of footsteps down the stairs and Vanessa emerged, her hair brushed, her makeup removed, and wearing plain jeans and the orange jumper Scarlet had seen her wear so often. Her face was grave, and she pulled her trainers onto her white socked feet as she spoke.

“Kiki. I’m packed. Ready to leave when you are."

The room was silent as she haphazardly tied her laces, stood up, and left as quickly as she had come in.

The rest of the day was decidedly tense. Vanjie hardly spoke a word to anyone that morning, and when Brooke emerged she was similarly silent. Nobody ripped into them about the obvious- usually they would, but this time was different. Feelings were on the line, and people were getting hurt. Scarlet and Yvie spoke about the situation with Plastique all the way home, and by the time they both got back to the flat Brooke had already barricaded herself in her room. Yvie would usually try to talk to her, but not today. Today, Brooke was best left alone.

It took her three days to say something.

Scarlet was round at the flat and she and Yvie were in the living room with Nina, watching Coronation Street (Yvie’s choice, of course) when Brooke came into the kitchen, walked calmly through to the sofa, threw herself down on it and let out a small sigh.

“Hey, babe! How’re you- oh shit. Oh, girl, what’s wrong?” Nina sighed, seeing two tears fall from Brooke’s face that she quickly hid in the sleeves of her black hoodie.

“I’m a fucking terrible person,” she cried quietly, still burying her face in her hands as Nina launched herself into the armchair Brooke occupied and wrapped her arms around her in a hug.

“No, Brooke, you’re not. You’re not, honey,” Nina sighed, shaking her head and murmuring into Brooke’s hair.

“Everything’s ruined. Vanessa hates me…and you guys probably all do too,” Brooke sniffed. Scarlet sighed.

“Brooke, nobody hates you. Least of all us! You’ll always have us!” she smiled comfortingly. Brooke brought her head up to face her, resentment in her eyes.

“Oh, Scarlet, come on, I know your loyalties lie with Vanessa.”

Scarlet let out a displeased laugh, appealing to Yvie. “Fuck me, right!”

Brooke let out a sob as if she’d immediately regretted snapping. “I’m sorry Scarlet, that was unfair. Shit, fuck, there I go again. All I do is just push people away and bottle up my problems and never tell anybody anything. What the fuck is wrong with me?”

“Nothing’s wrong with you! And you can always tell us anything. You know that!” Nina shushed her, tucking her hair behind her ears. Brooke smiled gently at her.

Yvie piped up, leaning towards Brooke. “Yeah. And you could start by telling us what went down between you two the other night when we were away, because I don’t understand what’s happened.”

Brooke took a long, deep breath and sighed. “We got carried away…she’d been joking with me all day. Like she was flirting and being touchy…anyway, we were in the hot tub and we were talking about us. Kind of. How long I’d liked her for before we got together, and the fact we’d kissed. And then everything just sort of happened. You know we slept with each other, I know you all know. You’ve all got brains. Things were said…and I don’t think she believes any of it. Even though it was all true. And even if she wanted to speak to me, I wouldn’t even know where to begin…fuck-”

“What did you say to her?” Scarlet asked gently, holding her breath a little.

“That I missed her. That I was sorry. But I feel like she thinks I was saying it because I just wanted her so badly. I mean, I did. I do…fuck,” Brooke sighed, rubbing her face with her hands.

“What happened when you woke up? That morning. You were both obviously…not yourselves,” Nina said, trying to word things tactically. Brooke let out a huge exhale.

“I woke up and she wasn’t even in bed with me. She just pulled on her bikini from the night before, had a face on like she wanted to kill me. I tried to talk things out, but she just told me there was nothing to say. She didn’t want to speak to me…” Brooke hung her head. “And that night, after we’d slept together, we’d just…lain there and held each other. We never said anything, she didn’t leave to go back to her own room. She put her head on my chest and I put my arms around her and just felt her breathing. It was like everything was back to normal, back to how it was. Jesus, I’ve absolutely fucked it.”

This time it was Yvie that fell forward and hugged her as Brooke sobbed, quiet and resigned. Scarlet felt her heart hurt for her. As much as Brooke had behaved inconsiderately and rashly, she’d clearly recognised the mistake she’d made. Scarlet believed that she did genuinely care about Vanjie, that she wanted to make things right with her. The only issue was how to try and make Vanessa see that.

“Right,” Nina said decisively, slapping her thighs. “I’ve got an idea. Let’s go out. Let’s put all of this out of your mind and just remember what it feels like to have fun being silly and drinking with friends before all this drama happened.”

Brooke, to her credit, let out a genuinely humoured laugh. “Nina, I was silly and drinking with friends three nights ago. That’s exactly what got me into this mess.”

"No,” Nina said firmly. She was going to make such a good teacher, Scarlet thought, as she watched the girl’s face snap into a frown. “This time you’re not going to think about V. If she turns up, you don’t interact. If Akeria makes a fucking nippy as shit comment, you blank her. This is going to be a fun night, with no drama. I promise.”

Nina was clearly some level of convincing, because Brooke rubbed her eyes and sighed. “I mean…getting drunk and turning our speakers up so loud I can no longer hear my thoughts sounds pretty good.”

The three flatmates shared an indulgent grin with each other. Brooke laughed, letting out a resigned groan.

“Yves, Scar. You down?“

Scarlet smiled at Brooke so hard she felt her face hurt. Reaching out and squeezing Yvie’s hand, she knew what her answer would be. “Always, angel.”

Impromptu nights out were always the best ones, Scarlet thought, and she hoped tonight would be no exception. To be fair to Nina, it seemed as if it had been a good idea. Brooke had smiled and laughed as she helped the other girls decide what to wear, cobbled together pre-drinks from the random assortment of spirits and mixers they had around their flat, ordered Nina to either skip or turn up songs on the playlist. Nina, seemingly the one in charge, had heard about this karaoke bar from Monet which seemed to simply be a karaoke machine in the middle of a quintessential old man’s pub named The Swan, but Monet had posed it to Nina as one of the best nights out she’d ever had so of course her word was gospel. Secretly Scarlet kind of hoped Vanessa wouldn’t turn up, which was harsh but Scarlet was as much Brooke’s friend as she was Vanjie’s and she just wanted Brooke to have a good night after so much upset.

“We don’t have to message the others, you know,” Scarlet shrugged as she emerged from Yvie’s room in a borrowed red cropped jumper and the jeans she’d worn to the flat in the first place. She got the vibe that this night out was not a fancy one.

“Noo, I wanna see Plastique. And Silk’s always fun,” Brooke pouted, apparently a little tipsy already.

“If we have a night out without at least offering it to Antigua Road it’ll only start more drama,” Yvie rolled her eyes. “Besides, they’re still our friends. Also I would live to see Plastique doing karaoke.”

Scarlet laughed, agreeing as she typed out a message to their group.

Yvie’s Bitch: Ladies, we are thinking karaoke tonight??? Anyone down? Xxxxxxxxxx

okay then: omg yesyesyesyesyesyes!!!!

okay then: can Ariel come too???

Scarlet was glad of the prospect of a new addition to their night. Ariel’s presence would hopefully diffuse a bit of the drama, nobody could exactly kick off when someone new was there.

Yvie’s Bitch: Yes absolutely!!!

There was a pause. Scarlet flicked her eyes over to Brooke, who had an insincere smile on her face as Yvie and Nina did every horrific TikTok dance imaginable. Scarlet saw her turning her phone over in her hand, looking at it anxiously. When Scarlet’s phone buzzed, so did Brooke’s, and she watched as the girl practically pounced on the message.

large incongruous silkworm spiced praline: KARAOKE BITCH????? OH LAWD WE COMIN

Pres that evening were divided up between the three flats, a mutual and unspoken understanding that it was probably for the best if they met at the bar. Scarlet was glad that Brooke seemed to loosen up as the evening went on, and by the time they were in the taxi she was chatty and giggly, her words spilling out of her like liquid. When they arrived the pub was packed, and they nearly couldn’t see the girls sitting cramped around a small table that was clearly only meant for four people but was also the best they were going to get in the crowds. Scarlet didn’t miss the way Vanjie blanked Brooke as if she wasn’t there, going for a hug with Yvie and then with Nina who were on either side of her. Scarlet vowed to speak to her about things at lectures on Monday. They only had a week of classes until the Easter break began, and then they would all start basically living in the library as dissertation hand-ins and exams would start looming over them like a huge stress boulder. Scarlet tried to focus her energy into chatting politely with Ariel, who was sitting beside an already very drunk Plastique. Scarlet had met her only a few times before when she’d been with Plastique on campus, but she’d never come to any big group nights out with the girls and Scarlet wanted to make her feel welcome. Although that was currently hard with the tension between Vanessa and Brooke, and by proxy Akeria, who had a protective arm slung around Vanjie like a mother lioness. Scarlet was distracted from the scene for a moment by Yvie, who had bought her a gin and lemonade. Scarlet thanked her and squeezed up on the chair she was sitting on to accommodate her girlfriend. She felt herself smile involuntarily as Yvie kissed her cheek. Yvie, the drink in her hand, and somebody new to get to know. Those were the three things Scarlet would focus on.

And that worked out. For a while. But Brooke had wanted to drown her feelings and it looked as if she was giving that a pretty good attempt. She’d returned from a simple drinks round with Jagerbombs for everyone (even Vanessa, although as peace offerings went it was one of the worst Scarlet had ever seen) and had been quite happy to sink the ones that some of the girls had refused. Then she’d dragged Nina up to sing a duet of Beyonce and Shakira’s Beautiful Liar which Brooke was essentially making into soft porn judging by the way she was flipping her hair and grinding on Nina, who was dying of laughter as she tried to get her notes out. Scarlet was nudged by Yvie who nodded to Akeria and Vanjie. The two were frowning at the girls on stage and muttering disapprovingly.

“I’m going to say something. This is a joke, they’re acting like they’re in high school,” Yvie rolled her eyes, as the girls got up from their seats and moved in the direction of the bar where Silky was in the queue for drinks.

“Don’t, Yves. Kiki’s only looking out for V, and she’s still upset. Brooke’s taking it a bit too far, to be fair,” Scarlet winced as Brooke hit a note that definitely wasn’t written anywhere in the song.

“She’s trying to have a fun night, Scarlet. But she can’t, because Judge fuckin’ Judy’s giving her death stares any time she so much as breathes,” Yvie seethed, whipping her head around and trying to find the girls in the crowd. It appeared they weren’t in the queue any more.

“They’ve probably gone to smoke. Yvie, leave it, baby. Brooke is having a good time, look!” Scarlet insisted, as the song came to an end and the girls laughed and hugged each other. Brooke almost took a tumble going down the steps from the podium the stage was on, and flopped back onto her chair.

“I’m the next Beyonce. I’ll take autographs later,” she murmured, Scarlet laughing at her ridiculousness. “I also need to pee. Anyone else?”

Scarlet indulged her and went with her. She didn’t actually need, but she also needed to make sure that Brooke wasn’t about to pass out on a toilet floor, so the two of them crammed into the only cubicle that wasn’t out of order or already in use.

“You’re having a good night, then?” she asked, looking at the grubby floor as Brooke pulled her jeans down.

“I’m actually having…the best time,” Brooke nodded emphatically, carelessly ripping bits of toilet paper out of the dispenser. Scarlet watched it fall like gigantic blossoms as Brooke rambled on. “This was the best idea, Nina is…Nina’s just so good with ideas, she’s going to be a primary teacher…and she’s going to be so good at it…they’ll probably make her a headteacher within the year…”

Brooke finished, stood up, flipped the lid of the toilet seat down unnecessarily loudly, yanked up her jeans, then fell back onto the lid. Scarlet sighed.

“Jesus. This is like babysitting. Come on, zip up your jeans.”

Brooke obeyed, her limbs moving as if she was made of jelly. As she did up her zipper and the button at the top, she kept speaking. “I’m having such a good time, oh my God, Nina just has the best ideas ever…you know this whole thing was her idea? She’s going to make the best teacher ever…I wish I had a teacher like her when I was little…”

Suddenly, Scarlet froze as she heard quiet sobs come from the cubicle next to them, and judging from the way Brooke had stopped talking, she’d heard them too. The two girls were still and silent, and Scarlet could see the same hope dawning on Brooke’s face that she felt in her gut.

Please don’t let this be Vanjie, please let it be some random drunk girl instead…

“Shhh, shhh, babe, c’mon. It’s gonna be alright,” Akeria’s voice was soft, lilting through the wall, and Scarlet felt her heart sink. Fuck. She snuck a quick look at Brooke, whose face was blank and expressionless, just blinking slowly with glazed eyes as she looked in the direction of the voices.

“But it ain’t alright, is it? None of it’s alright,” Vanessa’s voice came, thick with emotion and sadness in a way that made Scarlet’s heart crack.

“Vanjie, the goddess herself Miss Whitney Houston told us that it’s not right, but it’s okay,” Scarlet was unsure who spoke next until she realised that it was Silky, her voice softer and more gentle than she’d ever heard it before. She’d coaxed a blessed laugh out of Vanessa, and Scarlet was glad she was there for her. “You’re here, you’re doing the hard part. It’s gonna get less hard every day.”

Vanessa’s sobs quietened, and a huge sigh came through the wall instead. The next time her voice came it was quiet, nothing more than resigned and sincere. “I miss her…so fucking much, girls.”

“I know you do, angel. I know you do.”

There was a pause, a sniff, and a small stifled sob.

“It just hurts that…I’m still in love with her, and I never got the chance to tell her in the first place.”

Scarlet felt as if she’d just been launched out of a plane on a parachute jump with no goggles, safety gear, or parachute. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. This was bad, this was so bad. She looked frantically to Brooke, who had a single mascara tear rolling quickly down her face, her eyes threatening to overflow.

Akeria’s voice was strict. “Who do you love more, Brooke or yourself?”

There was a pause as Vanessa let out a breath. “Myself.”

“Correct answer. Come on, girl, look at you. This ain’t how you spend a night out.”

Another small laugh from Vanjie, meanwhile Brooke looked more broken than Scarlet had ever seen her. Back in the bar, whoever had been singing had finished, and the host’s voice was now booming over the speakers. The loud noise was muffled as it came through the bathroom wall.

“Alright, up next we have the dreamgirls! Do we have the dreamgirls?”

Silky let out a screech. “BITCH! It’s us!”

A little pause, then Akeria’s voice. “Your call, V. Home or stay, what do you want?”

There was a small sniff, a pause, then a scramble from the cubicle. Silky let out a cheer, and Scarlet heard the bathroom door swing open then shut again. Scarlet and Brooke were silent and frozen. Scarlet didn’t know what to say- didn’t know what she could say, so she simply held out her arms for a hug. Brooke stood up, shuffling forward and wrapping her arms around her, Scarlet trying to convey how sorry she was through squeezing her tight. The ditzy, drunk girl from before had been replaced with this quiet statue, and Scarlet didn’t know if she was imagining it or if it had been the confession they’d both just heard but Brooke seemed to have managed to sober up slightly. There was silence, and then Brooke gave a murmur against her shoulder.

“I’m in love with her too.”

Absolutely nothing about Brooke’s admission came as a shock to Scarlet. She sighed, rubbing the taller girl’s back. “Then tell her.”

She felt Brooke shake her head and let out a breath, her ribcage shrinking in Scarlet’s arms then blowing slowly up like a balloon as she took a shuddery, verge-of-tears intake of breath. “No. It’s…no.”

Scarlet nodded understandingly, then stepped back, tilted Brooke’s face up to look at her and swept two fingers underneath each of her eyes, catching her tears before they fell. “Hey. We’re not gonna let this ruin your night, okay?”

Brooke nodded silently. Scarlet knew the words were bullshit as soon as they’d left her mouth but she had to say something vaguely positive, she had to at least offer a speck of hope. She took Brooke’s hand and squeezed it, forcing a grin. “Besides, Silky singing is going to be a mess that we need to experience.”

Brooke let out a snort, a smile gradually creeping onto her face as Scarlet led her out of the cubicle. They washed their hands rapidly then grabbed fistfuls of scratchy paper towels before re-emerging into the bar and sitting down at their table. Plastique, three sheets to the wind, put her hands on either side of Brooke’s face.

“Where were you, bitch?! The girls are doing a song!”

Almost on cue, the lights began to flash purple and pink and a dance bassline blew out through the speakers. Silky’s voice cut through it loudly, the three girls already assembled on stage and holding microphones.

“Good evening, Swan! We are your Dreamgirls, show us some love!”

Scarlet couldn’t help but laugh as she whooped along with the rest of the bar, Akeria launching into her verse in a moderately tuneful voice.

“So you think that you can play around,

And that she will simply stay around,

Did you think that she’d just wait around for you?

Wait ‘til you get the news, wait ‘til you get the news that she’s,

‘Bout to do the same thing, ‘bout to play the same game!”

Scarlet risked a look at Brooke before the girls launched into the chorus. She was sure the song choice had been a coincidence. Maybe not. Scarlet always tried to be optimistic, but Brooke was smiling tightly as Plastique clung to her arm and screeched with excitement. The three girls hit the chorus, attempting and half-succeeding at a harmony.

“When ya good girl’s gone bad, whatcha gonna do,

When she’s out there doin’ the things that you do?

When ya good girl’s gone bad, whatcha gonna say,

When she’s out there playin’ the games that you play?

Whatcha gonna say to that, whatcha gonna do when she hurts you,

Whatcha gonna say to that, whatcha gonna do?”

Scarlet’s attention was pulled from the song as Yvie sat down next to her with two drinks, sliding one across to her. “This is like cats being strangled.”

Scarlet bellowed a laugh. “Aww, come on! They’re not that bad. Plus everyone seems to be loving them.”

She watched Yvie looking around the bar. There were a group of five middle-aged women in front of the stage, dancing around and cheering them on. In the corner, a big stag night group were shouting approvingly during Silky’s current verse, Silky of course winking and waving at them mid-solo. The rest of the bar was either punching the air for the girls or singing along incoherently. Yvie laughed, kissing Scarlet’s temple lovingly. “Babe. Everyone’s pissed.”

Scarlet laughed, shrugging as the three girls launched into the ever-so slightly cutting chorus again. She didn’t look at Brooke, even though she wanted to. Plastique would be looking after her, she hoped anyway. Suddenly Vanessa launched into the breakdown, her voice loud as she sang out into the microphone.

“She’s been watchin’ everything you do,

She’s been learnin’ everything from you,

And it won’t be too long before she shows you just how it feels…”

Silky and Akeria grabbed Vanjie by the waist as they backed her up, making their flatmate laugh as they belted out the last chorus together. Scarlet felt her heart swell up. As much as the whole situation was messy and people were getting hurt, Scarlet supposed it had brought out the love everyone had for their friends. Akeria had said she was done with Vanessa, but she wasn’t, not really. Scarlet could see that as she twerked against her on stage, making Vanessa laugh through her final lines.

“Whatcha gonna say to that, whatcha gonna do when she hurts you,

Whatcha gonna say to that, whatcha gonna do?”

As the pub roared their approval, Silky yelled into the microphone. “Thank you, Swan! Gentlemen…I will be at the bar.”

Scarlet grabbed Yvie’s arm as they both burst out laughing at Silky’s no-fucks-given approach to finding her men. As Scarlet turned to Brooke in the hope that Silky’s comment would’ve made her laugh, she saw with a small flash of panic that her chair was completely empty- no jacket, no bag, and no Brooke.

“Plastique! Where’s-” Scarlet shouted over to her, then realised that she’d had her back to Brooke’s chair and had been talking to Ariel. As the girl turned to face her, Scarlet shook her head. Casting her eyes to Nina’s chair, she found it equally empty. She knew they’d both gone home, and Nina would make her tea as Brooke got upset over the confession she’d overheard earlier. Casting an eye over her friends that remained in the bar, Scarlet did a small calculation in her head. Just over three months until graduation.

Scarlet hoped to God they would all get their shit together soon.

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wildlyminiaturesandwich · 5 years

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The Sims 4 Island Living - Early Access CAS Review

Huge thank you to the EA Game Changer Program for providing me with the opportunity to play Island Living early!

I’ve been hemming and hawing all day about whether or not to post this because obviously everyone has access to the game now but I figured I put a lot of work into it, so why not! I know it’s like way late but I had a lot going on during the very short time frame we were given for early access (less than 24 hours) and these reviews won’t be too in depth because I still haven’t really had a chance to explore the new pack fully, but here’s what I have anyway 😊

It’s all under the cut because I apparently had more to say that I first thought lol Seriously, next time a new pack comes out I might just stream. It’d be a lot less hassle for everyone involved and I could just waffle to my heart’s content!

See a preview of all the new CAS items here

From what I’ve seen so far of this pack, the Sims Team put so much time and effort into making everything look amazing, especially the CAS items, which might have meant less time went into making sure everything actually worked properly, but I’ll get into what that means for CAS items in a bit. For now, let’s just start from the top!

🌴 The Hairs

I think my absolute favourite thing about this pack by far has to be the hairs. It’s obvious the team have been working super hard since Seasons to give us better quality hair types and styles, and with all the new hairs in Island Living I think it’s pretty clear that they’re absolutely nailing it so far. They still have a long ways to go when it comes to inclusivity, but I think they’re on the right track and I can’t wait to see what they have in store for the future!

I mean all you have to do is look back at Base Game hairs to see how far they’ve come. Back then they had yet to figure out how to make not only simple wavy hair and textured up-dos look good, but more importantly they really struggled with natural hairs (I think we all know I’m referring to the infamous cauliflower hair fiasco).

But look at a few of these GORGEOUS Island Living hairs! I honestly would have paid full price for this expansion, even if I hated everything else in the pack, just to get my hands on those hairs!

I only have a couple minor issues with the hairs. The first being the curly side ponytail that was featured on the female sim in all the trailers. It looks amazing but it clips through literally everything the sim wears. I know there’s probably nothing they could have done about it though and it’s a beautiful hair, so I’m glad they included it.

The second issue I have is that yet again, there is a hair who’s texture overlaps an area it shouldn’t. We seem to get one of them in every single pack these days and this time it’s the big curly bun. The texture overlaps the back right section of the top and bottom teeth:

🌴 The Clothes

The clothes looks amazing as well, in general, but I do have a few issues with the clothes. Not major issues, just generally things could have been done a little differently I guess.

First of all, let’s get the obvious out of the way. Once again teen-elder males, children, and toddlers got very little in this pack. This has become a trend with all new packs now and honestly, it’s never really worried me before because I have pretty much always played female sims, but now that I plan on playing Island Living with Luca I’ve realised just how annoying anyone who plays exclusively male sims must find it! I’m also just realising now as I type this that none of the clothes would suit elder sims either which is kind of sad.

I wish I could say I was exaggerating when I tell you I spent the better part of five hours in CAS trying to give Luca an Island Living make over the other day, but I can’t. I legitimately spent almost five hours in there. The new CAS items for males fall into roughly three categories; traditional islander, cheesy Hawaiian tourist, and swimwear. With an added smaller category of what I like to call “Was I in a shipwreck or did I drop my clothes in wood chipper?”; a handful of clothes that are all torn and ripped for some reason. So, though all the new clothes do look really nice, none of them really suit the style that I wanted Luca to have, and because there is such a limited amount of adult male CAS items in general, it took me forever to find stuff I liked on him and I’m still not entirely sure I like most of what he’s wearing, but I just couldn’t spend any more time in CAS lol

I was also quite disappointed that there were only two hairs for children and none at all for toddlers. Toddlers only got eight things in this pack. Adult females got 67! And as far as I’ve seen toddlers can’t really use any of the new gameplay items either. So pretty much all they can do with this pack is play in the sand and splash in the shallows. What we need is just a whole pack full of stuff for every age and gender EXCEPT young adult females.

This is also one of the areas I think suffered from too much focus being on making them look pretty instead of making sure they actually work properly. If you look at the image below you can see by the top three that some of the clothes have very visible seams and quite bad clipping, especially with muscular/heavier sims.

As for the three images on the bottom... Listen, I love the concept of the bikini bottom with the transparent wrap, and the one piece with the tied top but the textures on all three of these pieces are just... not great. It looks like whoever made the green swimsuit and the pink shorts went absolutely bonkers with the normal maps and highlighting; they look like they’re made of rubber.

The swimsuit is also supposed to be tied at the top but the knot is just a flat texture, there’s no dimension to it at all. The same goes for the bikini bottom and wrap, it’s not only a very low quality looking texture but the bikini bottom is just painted straight onto the outside of the wrap, which bothers me probably more than it should lol I think most people probably wouldn’t even notice or be bothered by these things but this is supposed to be my honest opinion of the pack and I honestly feel like a few of the CAS pieces (like the three above) don’t fit with the rest of the art style of the game.

Side note that has nothing to do with Island Living: I also wanted to add that I’m not happy at all that the pride content we got with the patch did not include a Simlish version of the “It Gets Better” tee. Like MANY other people, I don’t like having English in my game, so I won’t be using that particular swatch I guess.

Overall, I really do like the Island Living clothes a lot. I just feel like I probably won’t use many of them outside of Sulani, and also that more effort could and probably should have been put into making sure they didn’t just look good but also that they worked properly on sims of all sizes and didn’t clip or have holes in them, and that they all fit in with the art style of the game.

🌴 The Mermaids

If I’m being completely honest, I’ve never really cared much about having mermaids in my game. I played with them for a few weeks when The Sims 3 Island Paradise came out and then didn’t touch them again. I haven’t had much of a chance to play with them in Island Living yet, but I can already tell you that I do like them more than TS3 mermaids. However, I’m probably going to stop playing with them in TS4 after a short time as well just because they don’t really have a lot of replay value for me.

They look amazing though! It’s clear a lot of effort was put into making their animations look very natural and organic while they’re in the water. The added animations like their tales hanging over the edge of the tub when they have a bath and the funny little dolphin squeak thing they do randomly were really fun to see happen in game and made me giggle, and I really like the addition of them having a hydration bar instead of hygiene. I’m very happy that they can swim in pools as well! Ooooh and that mermaid kiss 😏

I do wish some things about them were different though. For starters, I wish there was more customisation options for them. Four tales and two “scaled” tops for females, only one top for males that doesn’t have scales on it, and with the exception of different colour options, none of them can be customised any further than they are already are. I really wanted options to add little fin pieces and spikes off the sides of the tales or some barnacles for the elderly mermaids. Maybe some tail scars and missing pieces, and definitely some more facial features like gills, fin-shaped ears, even more scars. You know, basically just anything other than typical Disney style mermaid appearances. I think I might have been far more interested in them if I could have made a mysterious, dangerous-looking siren.

But mostly I just wish they had been made more... I guess MORE of an occult life state? As they are now they’re very similar to the way aliens were made and I’ve always thought EA did aliens hella dirty with the way they were kind of just added as an afterthought in Get to Work and make no real contribution to gameplay. The only occult state that I feel hasn’t been done poorly was vampires and I was REALLY hoping mermaids would be more like that. Instead mermaids have powers that don’t really do a lot, a hydration bar that doesn’t kill them if it drops too low, they can drown human sims but not other mermaids, and when a human sim eats mermadic kelp and becomes a mermaid... nothing happens. They just have a tail when they next go into water; it’s very underwhelming.

I wanted them to be able to earn points to spend on leveling up their powers like vampires but with maybe an added bonus of... something like reputation. So depending on how they use their powers and what traits they have, they could earn a reputation as either a good, wholesome mermaid who just wants to live among the humans and be happy. Or, they could turn to the dark side and become an evil, scheming siren who spends their time plotting how to torture any poor humans unlucky enough to be lured in by their songs.

But that’s obviously not how they ended up being made, and I’m probably just gonna end up playing with them for just long enough to see everything they have to offer and then moving on to more interesting things. I knew that would probably be the case going in to this knew pack though, so I don’t really consider that a deal breaker when it comes to the pack as a whole.

🌴 The Verdict

Overall I really like the CAS items in this pack. I have some issues with them, but as I said, none of those issues were deal breakers. In fact, every single piece of clothing could have been broken in some way and mermaids could have been absolutely awful to play with, but as long as those hairs were exactly as they are; I’d buy the pack just for them 😍

All thoughts and opinions expressed in this review are my own. I am not paid by EA to “hype” their games; I am given the opportunity to review their games early in exchange for an honest review.

#The Sims 4 #Sims 4 #TS4 #Island Living #EA Game Changers

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wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 4 years

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Michael in the Mainstream: Epic Rap Battles of History

In September of 2010, a series began that would spend the decade growing, expanding, improving, and even attracting controversy: Epic Rap Battles of History. The concept is simple - take two characters from history or pop culture and have them get into a rap battle where every single line is loaded with clever allusions to the participants. From there, it can go in really any direction - rappers can jump into the middle of a battle, rappers can team up, battles can be heavily skewed in one direction… there’s a lot of variance.

Watching the series grow into something as impressive and well-done as it is nowadays has been quite an experience. The first battle, “John Lennon vs Bill O’Reilly,” is honestly pretty bad by today’s standards, with a weak beat, poor costumes, bad impressions, and just a general lack of polish. But it did have something to it, something that would come to light as more and more episodes were released - Peter Shukoff and Lloyd Ahlquist really had a knack for rapping. I think the best part of the series over the past ten years is watching them go from the green rappers in that original video to incredibly talented and clever writers, singers, and actors, delivering stellar performances left and right in the more recent seasons.

With their first decade behind them, I’ve decided to go season by season and look at what worked and what didn’t as the show grew and evolved. I give an overview of each season, talk about some of the strengths and weaknesses they exhibited, and then go over the best and worst characters and battles of each season.

So, as the announcer says at the end of every intro... BEGIN!!!

Season 1

It’s hard to totally hate this season, but boy is it hard to love it. This was their first season, and their first batch of battles, so I think a little leeway needs to be given here; it’s clear they’re trying to find their footing and see what works and what doesn’t in terms of matchup and characterization. This leads to a lot of the battles of season one feeling really weird in hindsight, with the infamous “Genghis Khan vs The Easter Bunny” being the most standout example.

However, that’s just the most notable bit of wonkiness; there are plenty more decisions and matchups that really seem baffling in hindsight. One of the biggest ones is when Peter portrayed Lady Gaga in a rap battle against Sarah Palin of all people. This leads to a lot of the jokes Palin lobs being a bit more uncomfortable than they would have been if a woman played Gaga; this is notably the only time a female character has been portrayed by a man to this date.

Beyond that some of the matchups are just really nonsensical or rely too much on outdated memes. The worst offender in both regards is probably “Abraham Lincoln vs Chuck Norris,” which features Peter delivering one of his greatest performances in the series as Lincoln against a Lloyd-portrayed Norris who does nothing but spout “Chuck Norris Facts” thst we’re tired and unfunny even back in 2010. Likewise, Vince Offer popping up as backup for Billy Mays is pretty of-the-time, but that battle is actually good so it gets a pass.

Still, there are a lot more battles that do work or at least show a lot of promise. Look no further than the second battle in the series and the one that put them on the map, “Adolf Hitler vs Darth Vader.” While it’s a bit basic lyrically and not quite up to the later standards of the series, it’s easy to see why this became as big as it did. Zack Sherwin and George Watsky get their first guest spots here as Einstein and Shakespeare respectively, and both of them kill it in their roles, with the former even being part of one of the season’s best battles. It’s definitely easy to see why these two are the most reoccurring guest stars in the series.

Ultimately, season one is uneven and experimental, but shows a lot of promise. I think the datedness of some of the battles, particularly in regards to the ones featuring characters like Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga; using these two in particular so early in their careers really robbed us, particularly in the case of Bieber, whose decade-long downward spiral would have made for some really interesting disses. Then there are characters like Mr. Rogers and Genghis Khan, who are just wasted on completely mismatched opponents. There is good stuff here, but it lacks the polish later battles would have, making it hard to recommend revisiting this one. I’d say that with a few notable exceptions, you can safely skip this season.

Best Battle: “Albert Einstein vs Stephen Hawking” is probably the best battle of the sesaon; while the original Hitler/Vader battle is iconic, this one was one of the more clever early battles and if nothing else gave us the first Zach Sherwin performance and an awesome and faithful rendition of Hawking.

Worst Battle: “Genghis Khan vs the Easter Bunny.” As if it could be anything else.

Best Characters:

Lloyd: Abe Lincoln, despite being in one of the weaker battles of the season, immediately cemented himself as one of Peter’s best characters, and it definitely helps he has some pretty hard and creative disses, particularly his line involving Chuck Norris crying his cancer-curing tears on his filmography. It’s no wonder Lincoln is the only president who keeps coming back.

Peter: Darth Vader became one of the most iconic characters in the first few seasons for a reason, and despite his weaker lines here than in his sequels, he still manages to be as cool and intimidating as Darth Vader in a rap battle should be.

Guest: Albert Einstein was Zach Sherwin’s first appearance in the series, and what a first appearance it is! It really isn’t a shock he has been invited back time and time again, as he is an absolute blast in this battle.

Worst Characters:

Lloyd: Chuck Norris is the clear loser in terms of Lloyd’s characters this season. He’s nothing but a string of tired memes, and offers no insight into Norris at all. Frankly it would have been nice if they ripped into Norris harder, seeing as he’s a right-winger, homophobe, and Trump supporter. Portraying him as some cool, unstoppable force really leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Peter: Lady Gaga, hands down, and it’s not that hard a decision. She was portrayed terribly and it really is a shame they didn’t wait until later in her career to use her, because there is so much more interesting things to say about her now than back when they made the rap battle and the most interesting things to riff on were the stupid rumors that she was a hermaphrodite and her weird outfits.

Guest: Alex Farnham’s Justin Bieber is whiny, obnoxious, gets few good lines, and is more than a little mean-spirited; keep in mind, this was made early in Bieber’s career, when his only crime was being a kid with a music career who made songs some people hated. It just seems cruel, and considering how he would turn out a few years later, a world of missed opportunity… but that’s par for the course for season one.

Season 2

Season two was the proverbial “growing the beard” moment for the series. Coming out a month after season one, the new episodes already seemed bigger and more polished, starting off strong with a rematch between Hitler and Vader more epic than the original. Things continued solidly until the season peaked with the masterpiece that is “Steve Jobs vs Bill Gates.” That battle was a huge game changer, and took the series to new heights, heights the rest of the season after struggled to meet.

The big problem is that about half of the battles post-“Steve Jobs vs Bill Gates” are incredibly forgettable or even bad. “Doc Brown vs Doctor Who” is on the forgettable side, as is the first-ever election battle, which pitted Obama up against Mitt Romney. Romney alone should tell you why this battle is so forgettable; it’s a battle you really had to be there in the moment for, and is frankly a good argument as to why election battles should not be done. It’s not awful by any means, but it really isn’t memorable or relevant.

On the bad side, we have “Frank Sinatra vs Freddie Mercury,” “Batman Vs Sherlock Holmes,” and the infamous “Adam vs Eve.” The former two mostly suffer from awful characterization, with Sinatra being set up in the same way Justin Bieber was to be the clear loser. There’s nothing wrong with a curbstomp rap battle obviously, but considering how Sinatra is NOT a reviled figure like Bieber, this one goes over very poorly. Batman on the other hand mainly suffers from being horribly characterized and having extremely repetitive verses, with both his verses basically reiterating the same points. Neither battle is godawful, but they don’t really make good cases for themselves.

Then there is “Adam vs Eve.” This battle is widely regarded as the worst battle of not only the season, but THE ENTIRE SERIES. There is a very good reason for that: this battle is a massive departure from the style and tone of the series. Adam and Eve here represent stereotypical sitcom man and woman; there are very few Biblical references and the whole thing is very one-sided in Eve’s favor, with the battle basically ending with Adam apologizing for calling Eve a bitch… after she spent the past few minutes insulting his sexual prowess and penis size. There are a lot of double standards here, and it would only have been worse if God’s planned cameo was kept in, where he unambiguously sides with Eve.

But let’s not pretend like these are more than exceptions that prove the rule. Season two is remarkably solid, to the point where some battles have aged far better than you would expect. The prime example of this is “Cleopatra vs Marilyn Monroe;” at the time derided by audiences as just a battle consisting of nothing but slut-shaming, looking back it is a very strong yet lighthearted entry between two incredibly intense battles that has a great beat, clever lines, and strong performances from the two ladies. There are a couple of other underrated gems of the season but this one takes the cake.

The season is notable for a lot of big firsts. This is the first season to nab mainstream celebrities as guests, getting Keegan-Michael Key, Jordan Peele, and Snoop Dogg himself to portray Gandhi, MLK, and Moses, respectively. Unsurprisingly the battles featuring them are some of the very best of the season. It’s also the first season with a woman vs woman battle where both characters are portrayed by women, to much better results than the previous one. It’s the first season to have a two-on-two battle, with the second battle of the season featuring the Mario Bros battling the Wright brothers.

The biggest first however was the new style introduced in the finale: the Royale. This style of battle is basically a one on one to start, with each rapper getting one verse and then after the second rapper’s verse a third party barged in to school them, followed by a fourth and then a fifth. This first one featured famous figures from Russian history: Rasputin, Stalin, Lenin, Gorbachev, and Putin, and it is fun and hilarious, though Putin’s portrayal is definitely a product of its time and clearly made before people realized how evil he is.

This season also has some notable missed opportunities unique to it. The first is that there is a whole scrapped battle that was even teased in the trailer for season two, which would have had Hillary Clinton rapping against King Henry VIII. Peter and Lloyd were disappointed with how the audio came out and so permanently shelved it, though the audio is available online. It would have been interesting to see how it would have turned out, though the audio does not paint the best picture and the battle likely would have been forgettable. Still, it would have been interesting to have both parties in the 2016 election battle be returning rappers.

The second is that, to date, season two is the only season to use video game characters, with Mario, Luigi, and Master Chief being the sole representatives of the art form. This gets weirder with every passing year, as video games continue to become more mainstream and characters like Solid Snake, Samus, Phoenix Wright, Lara Croft, and Kratos continue to be popular suggestions for battles. It just feels like a lot of opportunities are being missed, though there’s always hope now that fans have more say than ever.

Overall, season two was a big, confident stride forward for the series. While there are a few stingers and forgettable battles here and there, the majority live up to the title of the series. I’d say that, moreso than season one, this is a great starting point for the series, This season marks the beginning of what I’d like to call the Golden Age, and I would say there are very few episodes here you should skip.

Best Battle: “Steve Jobs vs Bill Gates,” which is not as easy a decision as it seems considering the quality of the season overall. Still, this one probably holds up the best out of all of the episodes, with the rhymes, flow, disses, and beat all being legendary and the surprise interjection from HAL 9000 being nothing short of awesome.

Worst Battle: “Adam vs Eve,” which again, is probably also the worst battle of the entire series.

Best Character:

Lloyd: Gorbachev is the winner here. He’s just a funny, goofy ditz of a Russian leader, and he definitely schools all of the other arguing Russians. His beat is unique and a lot of fun, which definitely helps him stand out even more.

Peter: Peter has a lot of great roles this season, but it’s hard to not give the win to Santa, because Peter was able to hold his own against SNOOP DOGG. Speaking of which...

Guest: Snoop Dogg’s Moses is the standout in a season with no shortage of cool guests. I mean, come on, it’s Snoop

Worst Character:

Lloyd: Adam, hands down, and keep in mind Lloyd also played the now-irrelevant Mitt Romney this season. Adam sucked so bad a bland politician outdid him.

Peter: I’m not sure who told Peter to play Batman like that, but… yeah. Batman sucks here. I hope they bring him back and do him justice someday.

Guest: Jenna Marbles is completely wasted as Eve.

Season 3

Out of the three Golden Age seasons (2 - 4), I think season three is the most uneven and messy. While there are obviously some great battles here - it is part of the Golden Age after all - there are a lot of bad and awkward battles, or at the very least there aren’t as many great battles to make the bad ones seem less egregious. The tone is set by the season opener, the third and final battle between Hitler and Vader which despite a cool Boba Fett cameo ends up feeling underwhelming and boring.

The real issue with this season is that, while there aren’t too many genuinely bad battles this season, even the good ones feel a bit off. For the bad, we have “Miley Cyrus vs Joan of Arc,” which wastes one of history’s most badass woman against a flash-in-the-pan pop star; this battle has very few defenders, and gave woman back woman rap battles even more (undeserved) flack. To the season’s credit it doesn’t really get worse, and the only other weak battles are “George Washington vs William Wallace” (which not only conflates the fictionalized version of Wallace from Braveheart with the real one, but makes George Washington way more boring than he should be) and “Rick Grimes vs Walter White” (which feels like a ratings grab riding off of the coattails of two popular shows, though Lloyd really kills it as Walt).

For the good ones, a lot are held back from the lofty greatness of season two’s best by disappointing flaws. “Superman vs Goku” is fun and performs the miracle of making Ray William Johnson cool for two minutes, but it just feels way too short, especially considering the massive histories of the characters. The finale has a similar issue with shortness; “Artists vs Turtles” pits the TMNT against their namesakes, and the first verse and beat are fantastic, but the turtles get absolutely shafted on lyrics and the whole battle comes off as feeling uneven. This wouldn’t be so bad if this wasn’t a four-on-Four battle. “Stephen King vs Edgar Allen Poe” is so close to being great, as it has fantastic lyrics and a great Watsky performance, but Zach Sherwin chose a weird, raspy voice for King that brings the battle down a bit. It’s kind of sad that a battle between ERB’s two most popular guests is hampered by such an odd choice.

Still, when the season is great, it is GREAT. Key and Peele return, this time playing MICHAEL Jordan and Muhammed Ali respectively, and they kill it. Weird Al shows up playing Isaac Newton and, as expected, is amazing in his battle against Bill Nye. And the series introduces a new, very interesting type of rap battle - the story battle/gauntlet battle. Basically, there is one consistent rapper, and they rap against multiple opponents in succession, usually with some sort of storyline. And what better story to turn into a rap battle than A Christmas Carol? Scrooge goes up against Donald Trump, J.P. Morgan, Kanye West, and the Grim Reaper to learn the true meaning of Christmas, and it’s every bit as awesome as it sounds.

Season three is definitely a good season, and the weaker battles are still worth a listen even if they do have some issues; the only one I’d say is unlistenably bad is “Miley Cyrus vs Joan of Arc” due to how offensive the wasting of Joan is. I feel like people listening to this season will have wildly different opinions on which battles are good, bad, and great, so even if it feels a bit wonky there’s no denying it’s worth a listen.

Best Battle: “Donald Trump vs Ebenezer Scrooge” is a real game changer, and is not only fantastic, but as its only use of profanity is censored you can reasonably play this at a holiday party! If you ever need your quick fix of the Dickens classic, this is the way to get it, as this is remarkably faithful and very good at condensing the story into a rap battle.

Worst Battle: “Miley Cyrus vs Joan of Arc” is just absolutely unforgivable; Joan deserved a more fitting opponent than Cyrus. Katniss was often a suggested opponent, but I feel like even that would be bad, as Katniss has faded from the cultural consciousness over time unlike someone like Harry Potter. Still, Joan deserved way better than to be wasted for some throwaway curbstomp battle.

Best Characters:

Lloyd: Lloyd shows how good it feels to be a gangster with his portrayal of Al Capone, which manages to elevate the battle a bit higher despite the rather cheesy (but not bad) portrayal of Blackbeard opposite him.

Peter: Death, the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come, is utterly chilling, devoid of humor, and delivers one of the most legitimately terrifying verses in the series. This is why this ghost doesn’t usually get to speak in adaptations - because not only is he utterly terrifying, he steals the whole show. Peter really killed it with this one.

Guest: A lot of good guests popped in this season, but only one of them was Weird Al as Sir Isaac Newton. His flow is incredible, showing he has come a long way from “I Can’t Watch This.” He even gets a fast rap segment where he gets to show off his “Hardware Store” skills.

Worst Characters:

As uneven as the season felt, Peter and Lloyd actually managed to stay remarkably consistent; Lloyd didn’t play any character I can say was ‘bad’ by any stretch. For a given value of “worst,” Peter’s Donald Trump just pales in comparison to Lloyd’s a couple seasons later. But again, as uneven as the season was, Peter and Lloyd really didn’t do bad. This is the point where the duo really began to come into their own and develop as performers, with them rarely turning in a bad performance from here on out.

The guest, on the other hand... Michelle Glavan’s Miley suffers from the same problems Bieber did two seasons prior - except her battle feels less like a funny curbstomp battle and more like they actually tried to make Miley Cyrus on the same level as ST. JOAN OF ARC.

Season 4

This is, without a doubt, the absolute best season of ERB. This is when they truly found their groove, knew what they were doing, and did nothing but pump out hit after hit after hit. It’s to the point where there is really only one bad battle in the season, and it’s not nearly as offensive as previous season’s stinkers.

Right out the gate this season proved itself by ditching the old tradition of Hitler and Vader and instead delivering up a highly requested matchup - in this case the Ghostbusters and the Mythbusters. The real treat isn’t merely the pitch-perfect portrayals, but the appearance at the end by the B Team and the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, which cemented this as a fantastic and unique opening. From here, it was almost nothing but fantastic battles until the midseason finale, which was a battle royale of film directors.

Many argued that the season lost steam upon coming back from break, as “Lewis and Clark vs Bill and Ted” was a bit underwhelming as a return, but from there the season picked up with the criminally underrated “David Copperfield vs Harry Houdini” and then continuing up with the quality, the season peaking with “Eastern Philisophers vs Western Philosophers,” a fantastic showdown between some of the greatest thinkers of history. Somehow “Shaka Zulu vs Julius Caesar” kept up the pace, but I will say the season faltered a bit at the ending.

While “Jim Henson vs Stan Lee” is not bad, and is especially sweet and heartwarming in light of Stan Lee’s death, the use of Walt Disney as a soulless supervillain representing the monopolistic tendencies of his company and not the man himself is a rather contentious choice. It doesn’t help that the battle feels a lot more mellow and peaceful, which mostly has to do with the two men battling. It frankly feels like this should have been the midseason opener and the philosopher battle should have been the finale, since the latter battle feels a lot more epic and climactic.

The only truly bad battle of the season is, unfortunately, “Oprah vs Ellen,” which did nothing to alleviate the stigma of women characters in rap battles. I feel like the major issue with this one is that Oprah just has terrible lines and delivery, with some of her lines having painfully forced rhymes. Not helping is that it came hot on the heels of “Jack the Ripper vs Hannibal Lecter,” one of the best battles of season four’s first half.

Still, that’s a small blip on this season’s radar. To wrap things up on a more positive note, this season features perhaps the most unique battle in the franchise: “Zeus vs Thor.” Not only is it the only battle between deities so far, it is also the only battle animated entirely with Legos. It not only helps it stand out due to its unique style, it makes the battle more timeless and not prone to aging poorly in terms of visuals. It’s just overall a showcase of the brilliance of Peter and Lloyd - which is really something that can be said of the whole season.

This is, once again, the very best season of the show. It’s almost nothing but incredible, fantastic works from start to finish. Even the couple of battles that I feel are a bit weak tend to have some good stuff going for them. This was really where the series was at the top of its game, and I genuinely feel that there was nowhere they could go from here but down… and down they did go.

Best Battle: In a season full of fantastic battles, the gold medal still undoubtedly must go to the philosopher battle. The awesome beat! Laozi beatboxing! Nietzsche! It’s really something special.

Worst Battle: “Oprah vs Ellen,” for the reasons stated above. It’s not even so much that it’s bad as it is really underwhelming and filled with awkward lines, but it does stick out as notably poor in an otherwise stellar season.

Best Characters:

Lloyd: This is another Stellar season for Peter and Lloyd; it’s hard to pick just one great performance, but Lloyd voicing Stay Puft is certainly a hilarious treat.

Peter: Peter’s portrayal of Julius Caesar is one of the best showcases of his acting talents this season. I’d say it’s tied with Robocop, who Peter also knocks out of the park.

Guest: This season was absolutely stellar in regards to guests, so honestly picking the best is really a tossup. A personal favorite of mine is Dan Bull’s Jack the Ripper, who is equal parts chilling and entertaining.

Worst Character: It could only be Oprah, what with her painful rhymes and poor verses. That being said, she’s probably the only rapper I could stretch to call bad this season, as Peter and Lloyd has no bad showings and the other guests were pretty great.

Season 5

Welcome to the Dark Age. Season five is without a doubt the most divisive season of the series, and I do feel that that is a bit unwarranted because there are some truly fantastic battles here, probably more than there were in Golden Age seasons like three. The major issue with this season is not really a problem with the battles themselves, but a two-pronged meta problem: burnout, and the toxic fanbase.

The burnout was a long time coming. Peter and Lloyd had been doing ERB nonstop for half the decade at the point this season came out, and as the finale of the season, a rematch between Peter and Lloyd, showed the two were tired, frustrated, and hitting walls in terms of creativity. They obviously loved the series - there was still plenty of passion, creativity, and wit in the battles - but they needed a break, especially since Peter had recently become a father.

The other issue was far less predictable. When the 2010s began, making fun of Nazis and conservative ideology was cool, fun, and pretty much what anyone with a functioning brain was doing. But over the 2010s, a lot of radicalization began occurring due to social media and its ability to give platforms to awful people who shouldn’t be allowed to talk. Nazis, alt-right, conservatives, anti-SJWs, they all started building up over the decade and trying to wage a culture-wide war on sensitivity and empathy, instead trying to convince others that the plight of those who are disadvantaged due to how the ruling class structured society is not worth addressing and that things are fine the way they are. Trump’s depressingly successful presidential campaign did nothing but embolden and strengthen the resolve of these creeps, and that kind of leads into the three most contentious battles of the season - “Frederick Douglass vs Thomas Jefferson,” “Donald Trump vs Hillary Clinton,” and “Bruce Banner vs Bruce Jenner.”

“Frederick Douglass vs Thomas Jefferson” got a lot of flack for seemingly being one-sided in Douglass’ favor, with him almost solely attacking Jefferson for his owning of slaves and not really establishing himself well. While the battle isn’t particularly engaging and I didn’t really come out feeling like I learned much about Douglass, a lot of the criticisms at the time seemed more focused on being angry that this battle addressed that slavery was actually a thing at all and that the battle watered things down to “Jefferson bad!” This is of course disregarding that even Douglass admits in his final verse that Jefferson did a lot for the country, but that we need to address the bad parts of him more than we do. Still, this was small potatoes compared to the latter two battles.

These two battles are what made Pete and Lloyd really pause due to the negative reactions both battles garnered. The election battle received a lot of criticism for seemingly having a “left-wing bias,” as despite it following a similar structure to the previous presidential election battle, Lincoln’s appearance was a lot more focused on berating and abusing Trump. One needs to keep in mind though that Trump had already definitively shown he was a racist, misogynistic scumbag at this point in the presidential race, all of his lines were based on things he actually said, and he was pretty much the strongest rapper in the battle, getting in a lot of good disses. The battle is only “one-sided” in the minds of people who want to be angry at everything; it’s no more one sided than any of the Hitler and Vader fights, it just so happens that one combatant is more evil than the other and so deserves more abuse.

“Banner vs Jenner” seemed to get flack almost entirely due to its acknowledgment that trans people exist. I will be the first to admit that Caitlin Jenner is not really the best person to be using to push a pro-LGBT+ message, especially considering her political leanings, but the fact remains that there was a massive influx of transphobic comments in regards to the battle, mostly with very tired “The connection is they are Bruces who turn into monsters Lol” jokes. This drowned out a lot of legitimate criticisms of the battle - namely, that Jenner got to ramble on for several bars in her second verse while Hulk barely got to get in any good jabs. It’s even more disappointing because the first verses for both rappers was fantastic, and the second half of the battle looked to be shaping into something great… and then Jenner rambled on and on and on. But it was hard to find much constructive criticism because there was just so much hate and tasteless comments. Stuff like that upset Peter and Lloyd, as they had assumed their fanbase was more progressive and forward-thinking, but with how the internet works, they severely misjudged the kinds of people who had infested their fanbase.

It really is a shame that those battles tend to overshadow the entire season five conversation, because boy are there some really great battles here. There’s underrated gems like the overhated “Wonder Woman vs Stevie Wonder,” strong female rappers like Julia Child in her battle against Gordon Ramsay, long-requested matchups like “James Bond vs Austin Powers,” and even a great story battle with “Ivan the Terrible vs Alexander the Great,” which has Ivan murdering his way through historical figures with “The Great” in their titles. It’s a lot of fun, and Peter’s performance as Ivan is a showcase of his talents.

However, the season’s greatest contribution to the series is most definitely the penultimate battle, which is “Theodore Roosevelt vs Winston Churchill.” This might very well be the most epic battle in the series: the ever-popular announcer for ERB’s news jumping in to battle the only man in history who could possibly be ballsy enough to stand up to him. It’s to the point where even as the battle ends, the two are still roughly on even footing and it’s hard to say who won. If this had been the season finale, or even the series finale if they had decided not to continue, things would be perfect.

This season is overshadowed by controversy, and it really isn’t totally fair. Most of the controversy is around the guys trying to be more progressive and for punching hard at Trump but not Clinton, and while I can’t say I love the results (the controversial battles are definitely the weakest of the season) it really shouldn’t be held against them for trying to be socially conscious and they certainly should not be shamed, berated, or told to leave politics out of their battles (rap is an inherently personal genre, so politics are always going to find a way in, especially if the characters they’re portraying are, you know, politicians). I think a lot of great battles are overlooked, all because of the more controversial ones, and that’s a real shame, because this is a solid season only held back by the controversy it found itself mired in due to the state of the internet at the time.

Best Battle: “Theodore Roosevelt vs Winston Churchill,” naturally.

Worst Battle: “Bruce Banner vs Bruce Jenner,” though it entirely comes down to how the second half of the battle was handled; having this be the battle was not in itself a bad idea, and was actually pretty clever. The poor, lopsided battle biased in the favor of a character who is a terrible person in real life simply because they’re trans (or at least that’s kind of the vibe the episode gives) really doesn’t help. Frankly I wish they had given the first trans character in the series honor to someone more worthy, like the Wachowski sisters.

Best Character:

Lloyd: Teddy Roosevelt is the obvious choice, but I almost feel like it’s cheating since he is a mainstay on the channel. If we discount him, Frederick the Great is the clear winner for stealing a whole battle in twelve bars.

Peter: It’s honestly a tie between Austin Powers and Ivan the Terrible. Peter really rocked it with his performances in this season, and those two are some of his best roles ever.

Guest: In one of the most out-there yet awesome guest spots ever, we have T-Pain as Stevie Wonder, ditching the auto tune and delivering sick rhymes while tastefully portraying Stevie’s blindness.

Worst Character: Once again, Peter and Lloyd manage not to put in any bad performances, which really is a testament to how far they’ve come as entertainers.That only leaves one spot, the guest, and it really has to go to the elephant in the room: No Shame’s Caitlin Jenner.

I don’t really blame No Shame here; because she had the unenviable position of playing Jenner in the first place; Jenner is not exactly a beloved figure in the LGBT+ community or otherwise, and while it is cool they got a trans rapper to play a trans character, I feel like backlash here was inevitable just because of who it was.

What doesn’t help is that Jenner rambles on for a ludicrous amount of bars, getting in way more disses than Hulk did and not having any of her negative qualities addressed, which is especially baffling considering her real life political leanings and manslaughter charge being ripe for mockery. It ultimately comes off as tokenism, like they were trying to force a win for the first trans character by handicapping her opponent and ignoring her flaws, which ultimately backfired as most people give the win to Banner/Hulk as opposed to Jenner.

I really hope ERB does a trans character again, because there are plenty of interesting trans people throughout history, but I really hope they avoid the pitfalls Jenner fell into and make it a fair and balanced rap battle.

Season 6

After a hiatus that lasted through 2017 and until the end of 2018, the boys dropped a bonus battle to show they were coming back. And lo and behold, in the spring of 2019 season six dropped! While it is only half over by the decade’s end, one thing is for sure: Peter and Lloyd are back in top form.

The battles this time around seem to be a lot of highly requested matchups, which is not a huge shock - I believe certain tiers of donors who support them get a direct line to speak to the people behind ERB. It’s to the point where Robin Williams appearing in the comedian battle Royale was not the original plan, but he was so highly requested they added him in. Continuing the trend of popular requests opening seasons, this one kicks off with the long-awaited “Freddy Krueger vs Wolverine.” It’s clear how much their lyricism has improved, and the visuals in the battle are incredible, setting the bar high for the season.

Most of the battles in the first half sadly don’t try and go for creative backgrounds, sadly; only “Joker vs Pennywise” and “Jacques Cousteau vs Steve Irwin” really do interesting stuff with their backgrounds. Still, the other battles make up for it in other ways, typically with deft lyricism and great flow. In fact, even though not all the battles are top-tier, it’s telling that the weakest battle so far is “Mother Teresa vs Sigmund Freud,” which only suffers because of how repetitive the disses get, especially on Freud’s end - Teresa’s flow and disses hit hard, Freud has a solid second verse, and the best is very fun. The worst thing I can say about it is that it feels like a holdover from season two, and considering this has been a matchup they’ve wanted to do for a long time, it wouldn’t shock me if it is.

The production values are astounding, and the overall visuals are the best in the series, but alas there are some hiccups. Freddy Krueger and Thanos in particular look a bit off; their battles are obviously not bad, but the costumes leave something to be desired, though considering these guys aren’t a multimillion dollar film studio it’s fair to cut a little bit of slack. What can’t be excused, however. Is the constant use of outdated memes, the worst offender being a reference to “What Does the Fox Say” in the rap battle between Che Guevara and Guy Fawkes (Side note: it is absolutely hilarious that Guy Fawkes and Joker both debuted in this season, considering… well… this). Almost every battle so far this season has contained a dated visual or lyrical reference, though they don’t really ruin the battles.

Overall, the season is extremely good so far, and showcases perfectly how far Peter and Lloyd have come since that first rap battle between John Lennon and Bill O’Reilly. The flows, the beats, the lyrics, the costumes… it’s all so good now. Long gone are the awkward days of the early seasons, and the burnout that was evident in season five is truly gone. These guys are having fun again, and I look forward to the rest of this season in 2020.

Best Battle: So far this season has almost been nothing but smashes, but perhaps their greatest accomplishment is “The Joker vs Pennywise,” which manages to play off the relevancy of both killer clowns while giving us some of Peter and Lloyd’s best performances to date, with Peter in particular doing a phenomenal Mark Hamill impression. The battle is also a bit longer than usual, with each rapper getting three verses, allowing them to cram in numerous references. Joker is definitely the wittier and funnier rapper, but Pennywise has a much better flow, which honestly plays to their actor’s strengths. This is my personal favorite battle of the series.

“Jacques Cousteau vs Steve Irwin” is honestly tied, as it also plays off the duo’s strengths and is very fun with an energetic, badass beat.

Worst Battle: A lot of people point to “Vlad the Impaler vs Count Dracula” for its slow pace and goofier take on Dracula, or “Ronald Mcdonald vs The Burger King” for being recycled from their “Flash in the Pan Hip Hop Conflicts of Nowadays” side series with very little in the way of improved lyrics. On both counts I disagree; I think both are good battles, with the latter being one of my favorites due to how goofy it is. So far, though, the battle that was the biggest disappointment was “Mother Teresa vs Sigmund Freud.” This was one a long time coming, but the payoff isn’t quite worth it. Most of the jokes on Freud’s side are incredibly repetitive, and in general his flow is weak compared to Teresa, who just absolutely kills it with creative and witty deliveries. It leads to this weird feeling of Freud being a season one character in terms of quality, which is a real shame.

Best Character:

Lloyd: Lloyd just oozes the charisma of Steve Irwin and Robin Williams when he plays them, easily making them the standout performances of this half of season six.

Peter: Peter brings his A-game as Joker, as mentioned above, but he also manages to be incredibly chilling and awesome as J. Robert Oppenheimer, easily outdoing Thanos in their rap battle. Oh snap!

Guest: This is a season of ties, it looks like, cuz Jackie Tohn as Joan Rivers and Gary Anthony Williams as Bill Cosby really change the tone of the comedian royale for the better. Cosby barely gets any lines, mind you, and spends most of the battle drugged and getting abused by Tohn’s Joan Rivers, but there’s just something hilarious about the ERB guys getting Uncle Ruckus to play a drugged-out Cosby. As for Rivers, she’s just perfect.

Worst Character: Visually, Thanos is not the best, and lyrically, Freud isn’t great, but I don’t think either of them deserves to be called ‘the worst.’ So far, this season has managed to avoid any overt stinkers.

And so we come to a close. Ten years of rap battles, ten years of growing and improvement, ten years of a rollercoaster ride of quality… it really is amazing that Peter and Lloyd have consistently managed to come back to this series and find new ways to breathe life into it. Considering their more recent videos, I can only hope they keep up this level of quality into the next decade. Here’s to another ten years of ERB!

…

Oh, alright, I’ll talk about the bonus battles. So far, there have been two: “Deadpool vs Boba Fett” came out between seasons four and five, and “Elon Musk vs Mark Zuckerberg” came out a few months before season six kicked off to show us all that, yes, the boys were back, and they weren’t messing around. Both battles are pretty indicative of the time period they were made; “Deadpool vs Boba Fett” has that extremely high level of quality in terms of writing and characterization that season four did, and “Elon Musk vs Mark Zuckerberg” has the sort of rejuvenated, fresh feeling the season six battles have. I will say I much prefer the former than the latter, as the latter does at least somewhat come off as an attempt to recapture the glory of “Steve Jobs vs Bill Gates,” only with two far less charismatic inventors, but it’s still pretty fun and clever in its own right. “Deadpool vs Boba Fett” is, without a doubt, one of their best battles ever, and does justice to two of the most beloved ensemble darkhorses in all of media. I can only hope any bonus battles in the future are up to these two in terms of quality.

Now with all that said… here’s to another decade of ERB! May they only continue to grow and improve in the 2020s!

#Michael in the Mainstream #Review #web show review #epic rap battles of history #ERB #rap #nice peter #epiclloyd #history #rap battles #comedy #Youtube

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Pokémon Sword and Shield: A Franchise Turning Point

The Pokémon franchise has been around for over 20 years, and in that time it has proven to be more than a passing fad and has carved out a massive multi-media empire. Outside of some rare spinoffs like the Pokémon Stadium games or the likes of Colosseum or Pokken Tournament, the series has stayed primarily on handheld consoles. For years fans dreamed of what a true, mainline Pokémon game could be like on a home console. During E3 2017 when Game Freak announced that such a title was in development for Switch, people got excited. The resulted games, Let’s Go Pikachu and Eevee were not quite the main leap people expected, instead being a strange hybrid of Pokémon GO and remakes of Pokémon Yellow. However, the announcement that a true new generation of Pokémon would hit the Switch in 2019 reignited that hype. While at first excitement was high, over time a dark cloud hung over the titles, Pokémon Sword and Shield. Controversies erupted over the announcement that not every little critter would be featured or transferable to the game, and as time went on any new announcement was met with pushback. Everything from visuals to new features was criticized all the way up to launch day. Now that Sword and Shield are in players’ hands, at the end of the day…how did it all turn out?

A WHOLE NEW WORLD

This time around, trainers embark across the Galar region, basically the Pokémon equivalent to the UK. I do like Galar as a setting; it has a ton of character, with probably the most interesting aspect to it that Pokémon battles are treated as a major spectator sport. If you want to join in the Gym Challenge, you need a sponsor, and your Gym battles take place in massive stadiums filled to the brim with roaring fans. It’s an interesting deviation from past games, even if the basic formula is about the same. The characters within Galar also have a fair amount of charm from your main rivals to the Gym Leaders, to the undefeated Champion. A lot of people give Hop, your main rival, a lot of flak, but I found he had a lot of hidden depth to him and he has a satisfying arc as the story goes on. As he loses to you again and again, he doubts himself and subsequent battles have him throwing in random Pokémon and strangely his signature partner, the adorable Wooloo, is absent. Once he gets his act together, however, he forms a pretty balanced team, and Wooloo’s back front-and-center. It was a neat moment of character growth shown off through gameplay. As far as Champions go, Leon has a lot more presence throughout the game than a lot of past Champions. His flair, his awful fashion sense, his inability to follow directions…it all made him a bit more endearing. Most of the Gym Leaders are pretty much just there as stepping stones, but they all are fairly memorable either for designs or flashes of personality. It helps that everyone gives you neato trading cards too!

Galar’s main claim-to-fame is the Wild Area, a huge collection of different biomes located smack in the middle of the map. It has far and away the largest collection of Pokémon within, with different monsters appearing depending on the weather or time of day. It’s a place you’ll be returning to time and time again, and it made a big impact. It’s the only area in the game with a controllable camera, for one, and rather than follow a linear balance curve, the Pokémon you encounter in the Wild Area are often far too strong to handle. You’re even forbidden from catching Pokémon if you lack a certain number of Gym Badges, so the place is full of Pokémon you can only really admire from afar until you’re “worthy” of getting them.

Take the Wild Area away though, and Galar feels pretty small. With only ten Routes in the game, Galar is among the smaller regions. Most Routes are very straightforward, not many branching paths or hidden goodies, and there isn’t any neat new areas opened up after beating the game either. The Wild Area, from a franchise standpoint at least, is pretty impressive, but looking at the game on the whole it feels a little lacking. That’s not to say Sword and Shield don’t bring in new mechanics to mess around with, but whether they make up for what’s been taken away is going to vary with people.

GO BIG OR GO HOME

Since the games went 3D, each region tends to have its own core “gimmick” to differentiate it with older titles. X and Y had Mega Evolution, Sun and Moon had Z-Moves and for Sword and Shield we have Dynamax. Something in the air in Galar can allow Pokémon to grow to colossal size for a short time, granting them extremely powerful Max Moves for its duration. While Dynamaxing seems cool at first, the spectacle kinda wears off after your first few uses of it (not to mention the animation lasts forever), and upon further inspection it’s not as great of an upgrade as you’d think. For one, a Dynamaxed Pokémon only gets a health increase, and all other stats stay the same. Abilities and their elemental types stay the same too, so it’s not a game-changer like Mega Evolution was and it really has more in common with Z-Moves. The Max Moves can be nice, as they’re usually a good deal more powerful when it comes to raw damage, and can come with nice side-effects, but it’s kinda inconsistent. The stronger Fighting-type moves actually become weaker as Max Moves, for one. On top of the base Dynamax ability, some Pokémon can use “Gigantamaxing” instead. This changes their look overall and grants them a unique G-Max Move, though considering how hard they can be to acquire I’m not sure it’s all that satisfying. It doesn’t help that rather than having a certain species of Pokémon capable of Gigantamaxing, it comes down to unique Pokémon themselves that have the trait and it can’t be passed down through breeding either. Overall, Dynamaxing has its uses but I highly doubt it’ll become a staple of the series and will likely be replaced with something else for the Generation 9 games, and I can’t say I’ll miss the mechanic much.

One big addition to the series is Max Raid Battles, found in dens littered all over the Wild Area. Teaming up with up to three other players, locally or online (or team up with awful CPUs if alone), your goal is to take out a permanently Dynamaxed Pokémon. You get a limited amount of turns and if you suffer more than four knockouts, the Raid will end in failure. Victory, however, enables you to get rare and powerful Pokémon, some even coming with really great stats and difficult-to-obtain Abilities, and it’s practically the only way to get Gigantamax Pokémon. The difficulty of the Raids increases as you progress through the game, however, and the Five Star Raids can be brutal. The rewards are great though, getting a lot of extra loot. Bonus moves to teach Pokémon, EXP candies that eliminate a lot of grinding, and more, even if the capture attempt fails. The one real issue with Raids is that some Pokémon can be pretty stingy with appearing in Raids, and you’ll have to use somewhat rare items, Wishing Pieces, to kick some Raids off. There are also the occasional connection issues, but I have more to say on that later.

Outside of these new features, there are the standard quality-of-life changes that each game has, though some can be harder to notice and appreciate than others. You can send Pokémon in storage out on Jobs, to get some neat rewards and some EXP for them, though I find them to be a bit underwhelming. Being able to swap Pokémon on the fly now is a godsend, and together with the EXP Share built into the game, it allowed me the freedom to switch up the monsters in my party and get newcomers up to speed quickly. Most games I barely bother with more than the maximum six, but the sheer variety of Pokémon in Galar let me feel more comfortable with constantly swapping around. On that same note, no National Dex aside, there’s a LOT of choices in Galar. Route 1 alone has over ten Pokémon you can catch right at the start, as opposed to the common mammal, common bug and common bird. It was nice to see some under-represented Pokémon make the cut, but I won’t argue with anyone bummed that their favorites aren’t allowed in. It is a regrettable decision overall, even if it might have been unavoidable here.

Now, you’ll notice I didn’t mention the story much at all because…there isn’t much of one. Pokémon as a franchise isn’t known for its storytelling, despite the Black and White and Sun and Moon games existing and having very well-done stories. Overall, Sword and Shield seems to focus more on characters than an overarching plot and that isn’t too bad overall, but it makes the eventual climax more than a little disappointing. Team Yell, our villainous organization this time around, are just a bunch of hardcore fans for another rival of yours, a girl named Marnie. The conclusion to their story felt very flat, and the eventual main problem involving the Legendary Pokémon is tacked onto the end of the game with little build-up. It doesn’t help that the main villain’s motivation doesn’t make sense. He wants to avert an energy crisis that’s 1000 years from actually happening, and for some reason he refuses to let you get your shot at fighting the Champion because apparently putting things off for one day is unacceptable. It’s just very sloppy. And honestly, “sloppy” can describe a lot of this game, sadly.

WHY Y-COMM WHY

No game is without flaws, and Sword and Shield are far from the first Pokémon games to have their fair share of issues, but it’s hard to shake the feeling that these games in particular are a victim of compromise. Game Freak doesn’t have the luxury of delaying games and polishing them up to a fine sheen, not when the multimedia empire has merch and anime to launch at the same time. I’m also certain that working on this game alongside the Let’s Go games AND Little Town Hero did them no favors. So there are areas in the game that lack polish. The story’s abrupt conclusion, the visuals in general, and Galar itself feeling a tad empty; these are all compromises that had to be made to get this game to ship on the date decided well in advance. I can sympathize with the developers here, and really they’re in an un-enviable position. But at the same time, I’ve been playing Pokémon games for over twenty years, and I kind of expect better, you know? Far too many times I have to shake my head and question why something is designed the way it is, or why it feels at times like the games are going backwards in quality. Problems that were solved several games ago rear their ugly heads again, and for this being a brand new generation and the “proper” debut on a powerful home console, I can’t help but feel that this is just a 3DS game that’s been blown up onto my TV.

NPC character models and the Pokémon themselves look fine, as does the sleek UI, but environments look kinda rough. The Wild Area itself, I say with no exaggeration, looks like it was ripped out of a GameCube game. Those trees are a meme, but at the same time, they also look that bad. Some of the main towns are pretty grandiose, be it the giant castle theme of Hammerlocke, or the steampunk designs of Motostoke, while others feel incredibly barren. It’s kind of intentional with Spikemuth, but I was more than a little disappointed with how small towns feel. While it’s great that HMs have been officially retired (starting from Sun and Moon), Galar itself feels like it has little to offer those that want to explore. You don’t get access to a way to cross water until near the endgame, but there are only a small handful of areas you’d need to backtrack to with that ability. There’s not even a Victory Road in this game, or a rough equivalent.

Sword and Shield, from a competitive standpoint, seems to be trying to make strides in breaking down barriers and allowing more casual fans to dip their toes into competitive play, which I really appreciate, but I think there’s still room for improvement. While on the one hand, it’s never been easier to tweak and customize your Pokémon to your heart’s desire, the game is still not as transparent on certain subjects. You can view a Pokémon’s Effort Values, extra points you can place towards stats, on their stat screen, but only if you hit the X button on that screen, and there’s no indication that’s a thing you can even do. I was more than fifty hours into the game before a friend even told me that! There have been some pretty major strides to reduce the time commitment however, so I have to give the game credit there. As far as game balance goes, having less Pokémon to choose from does inspire creativity, though from what I hear, a fair few Pokémon are a bit of a problem, but that’s no different than any other game. Honestly, even attempting to balance a game with so many moving parts and possible strategies is pretty admirable. I’m not deep into the meta of competitive Pokémon though, so I feel there’s not much I can add to the conversation. If there’s one thing I can’t defend however, it’s this game’s connectivity features.

Starting from the DS era, Pokémon has had online features, but Sword and Shield marks the first time that the Global Trade Station, or GTS, has not been available. This means it’s impossible to put up a posting for a desired Pokémon, or fulfill other’s requests. This wouldn’t be so bad if the way to trade with friends wasn’t such a chore. Rather than being able to freely select a friend and initiate a trade or battle with them, players must enter four-digit codes and HOPE the game pairs them up. This is in every way a downgrade from the past several games. X and Y released over SIX years ago and solved this very issue with the Player Search System. Y-Comm, as it stands, is an awful replacement and there’s not one thing about it that other systems didn’t do better.

If you connect online, the game will have “stamps” appear that show you what friends are doing, alongside broadcasting trade or battle requests from random people, but often those requests are out of date, and trying to join in will result in error messages, the requests fulfilled long ago. Trying to join friends in Raid Battles is an exercise in trial and error, and if online in the Wild Area, other players constantly appear within it and as a result the game begins to chug along. What could have been a neat way to interact with other players across the world results in the game becoming worse to play, so I mostly left it off. Connecting with others has always been a franchise selling point, way back to the days of the Game Boy Link Cables. To see this game drop the ball so severely is worrying. I care about this far more than the graphical issues, far more than the National Dex, and it makes me hesitant to try out the next titles if they can’t solve these issues and KEEP them solved.

AN UNCERTAIN FUTURE

Pokémon Sword and Shield are not bad games; they’re in fact filled with charm and fun. I’ve logged over 80 hours into the game over the past few weeks and the hours flew by. There’s a lot of work that’s clearly been put into the game. The Pokémon designs and concepts this time around are really creative, for one. There’s the Applin line, dragons that hide in apples, and the abominations that are this game’s fossils; carelessly stitched together pieces of incompatible fossils resulting in a freak of nature. I love them. My heart goes out to Game Freak, because it’s clear people worked hard here, but this simply can’t be the game they wanted to make. I think Sword and Shield are turning points for the series, but it’s unclear if that’s a good thing or not.

For all the backlash and negativity surrounding these games, they’re still the fastest-selling Switch games ever. Many fans are pretty satisfied with the game as-is, and the real bitter pill disgruntled fans need to swallow is that…these games have no real reason to improve in quality. Think about it; sales aren’t down, and there’s not a true rival to these games anymore, so why would the hire-ups at Nintendo and The Pokémon Company give these games more time and resources? On top of this, remember that these games are only one part of the massive whole that is the Pokémon brand. Pokémon GO makes a frankly disgusting amount of money, the anime has been going strong for two decades, merch is in no short supply, and now we can likely add major Hollywood films to the list as well. If Game Freak was any other developer, behind any other franchise, they’d likely be able to delay the games to polish them up and add in content that would otherwise be cut, but they can’t do that when they MUST launch simultaneously with the anime, the card games, the merchandise, etc.

The series has been around for so long now as well, while many fans have likely moved on from the franchise, new ones are lining up to take their place. On top of that, there are Pokémon diehards that will likely always support the series. Pokémon is a constant for them; it’s almost like comfort food in game form. They’re not WRONG for feeling that way, and I’m kinda in that same boat. I knew going in that these games were going to be somewhat disappointing, but I still bought the thing! For all the rage directed at these games, many people still gave them their money, and I think the message has been read loud and clear: Pokémon can get away with cutting Pokémon, so it’s unlikely Game Freak will change course any time soon.

Now, of course, that’s one way to look at things. A negative way to be sure. It’s also possible that Game Freak can learn from issues they had with developing these games and push past them. As they get used to console development, to HD development, and get a better idea of what fans want, the next games might actually surpass all expectations. Pokémon as a franchise has always had feature creep to deal with, and Sword and Shield is clearly where it all boiled over. So maybe if they don’t have to worry about accommodating nearly 1000 critters in every single game, they can make larger strives towards higher quality. I don’t want to count them out, but at the same time, I won’t hold my breath either. I’ll always be open to what path this franchise takes, even if they stumble a bit to get there.

In the end, Sword and Shield feel more than a little rough, but there’s some real bright spots glimmering in what might be the franchise’s Darkest Day. The Pokémon themselves are still fun to use and capture, the characters and world of the games are still wholesome fun, and I’ll reiterate that pumping over 80 hours into this game didn’t feel like a chore and I was largely engaged for the entirety of that time. Here’s to hoping that brighter days lie ahead, and a few years from now we can look back at the Dexit controversy and laugh.

-B

#pokemon #pokemon sword and shield #zacian #zamazenta #applin #scorbunny #sobble #sobblesquad #grookey #nintendo switch #blog #review #xb-squaredx

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neranishin · 6 years

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((Do I remember right that you play/have played Neverwinter Online? Would you recommend it? I don't really like MMOs, but I'm starved for content.))

Yep! I have played Neverwinter Online. Here’s the thing.

First, it’s based on 4e, and all classes have their one weapon that they can use. Arizan runs around with a huge holy symbol and throws spears of light at things. Paladins get a mace (or occasionally a sword) and a huge shield. Rangers get a bow and two bladed weapons (exact kind of weapon depends on the skin. Usually swords or some kind of axe though). Etc. You’re either going to think that combat is fun or you’re going to hate it.

Up until you get to the modules/expansions, it’s pretty much just a fun chain of quests. Level 25-30 has you helping the Doomguides in Neverwinter’s graveyard, which was *excellent.* You don’t have to do much multiplayer unless you want to run a skirmish or a dungeon. I enjoyed levelling up.

Once you DO hit the level cap and start getting into the campaigns, it gets harder to recommend. The early campaigns (Sharandar and Dread Ring) are pretty much the same level of difficulty and fun (Though, a warning: I haven’t played either with lower tier equipment for a while, so I’m not sure how difficult they are without purple armor and weapons). All of the campaigns work on repeatable quests and suffer from the need to grind, but those two have been reworked so it’s not as bad. Their related dungeons are fun if you can find a group that is willing to take it more slowly, explain the mechanics, and keep trying if you wipe at the boss. Cryptic won’t let us kill Valindra permanently, because apparently we’re all too busy to go through the work of finding her damn phylactery, but it’s still fairly satisfying to kill her temporarily.

The other campaigns that come with adventuring maps are not balanced well for single player. Once you have high enough level equipment, you can manage - I could solo Arizan pretty much anywhere with some patience, and Ranthyr (my Paladin) was nigh unkillable if I was willing to spend 10 minutes in one fight. But high level equipment requires some form of grinding.

And then we get to the story issue, which is why I’m not playing for a while. Going under a cut in case I have followers who care and haven’t started Chult yet, but tl;dr Cryptic seems to have forgotten Kelemvor exists and I’m not here for that.

Up through the River District, I enjoyed the story. Then Shroud of Souls came out, and my Doomguide ass side-eyed that a bit, but like: you get to solo a dragon. I could forgive the Shadowfell bits for that.

Then Chult came out. Mechanically: Chult is extremely difficult and will kill you. The bigger dinosaurs will kill my paladin before I run out of patience. Story: You go to Chult to look for the cure to a death curse! NO KELEMVORITES COME WITH YOU. No Kelemvorites even get to give their opinion on whats going on. And then things really start to go downhill. I got to the cutscene where you bring your cleric friend’s body to a sketchy voodoo woman (which, honestly: the voodoo stuff just feels gross and culturally insensitive in general) who invokes Myrkul in a ritual and raises your cleric friend as something undead (but sentient), and then your warlock friend pouts when your cleric friend is understandably upset about this. According to someone who’s gone looking for how that resolves, your warlock friend is apparently also a lich now, and

look

I started playing this game because I also was starved for content, and specifically wanted to do more with my Doomguide. It worked for a few years.

I can’t play this game as Arizan anymore.

The most recent campaign is based on Ravenloft, because that’s what WotC released. At this point I’ve just given up.

....Levelling is fun if you just want to play it until you run out of those zones, though? I miss my warlock. I remade him as an engineer in GW2, but it’s just not the same.

#sunshinedoomguide #if you do give it a try lemme know #and someone can log in and invite you to our guild so you can buy guild armor when you get to 70 #just #probably don't play Iswen #or any other Kelemvorite #because if ou stick with it long enough you WILL commit blasphemy cause Cryptic doesn't care what god you choose as your patron #if you want to playa paladin I know there ARE builds that are less tank and more damage #and it doesn't really matter in the levelling zones anyway cause everything there is so fragile compared to the absurdity of campaign zones

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operationrainfall · 6 years

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Title Psychedelica of the Ashen Hawk Developer Otomate (Idea Factory) Publisher Aksys Games Release Date June 29th, 2018 Genre Visual Novel, Otome Platform PlayStation Vita Age Rating T for Teen Official Website

As someone who’s been looking to expand his PS Vita collection for some time now, Psychedelica of the Ashen Hawk has been on my radar since it released this past June. The artwork really struck a chord with me and the initial impressions that I saw were very positive. However, given that it’s an otome visual novel, I initially passed on picking it up and playing it. Having played it now though, I can honestly say that was a big mistake.

Visual novels generally aren’t my cup-of-tea and otome most certainly aren’t aimed at someone of my demographic. My original assumptions were that this would end up being some sappy romance story with tons of fan service (something that I have a major distaste for). This made my shock all the greater when I discovered how tremendously wrong those assumptions were. The story, setting, and overall tone of the game are much darker than I expected. Nothing about the story feels “sappy” and the romance elements are given a bit of a backseat to a more complex, engaging storyline.

The story begins in a remote, Victorian-era village plagued by perpetual snowfall. Local legend speaks of a malevolent witch who is the source of the town’s suffering and the never-ending snowfall. Because of this legend, the villagers are quick to turn violent around anyone deemed to be involved with “the witch”. To further complicate things, the town is comprised of two factions- the wolf clan and the hawk clan. These two groups are in a constant state of civil unrest. It’s in this town that our protagonist, Jed, was born and raised. Having been born with a red eye (the sign of the witch), Jed must disguise herself as a man and keep her true gender a secret from those around her. She also chooses to reside in a secluded tower in the woods outside of town. She shares this tower with a strange man named Ashen Hawk. Ashen Hawk is a lazy amnesiac who allows Jed to stay with him in exchange for looking after the tower and taking care of him.

The information that I’ve conveyed above is all laid out at the onset of the game. As the story progresses, romantic relationships are introduced, Jed sets out to locate a mysterious artifact, and we learn more about both Jed and Ashen Hawk’s pasts. There is also a sub-plot that revolves around a mysterious string of murders. The story overall is a nice mix of heartfelt moments and some downright brutal ones. These brutal scenes serve to darken what would initially seem to be a pretty light-hearted atmosphere. The game has 12 distinct endings, some spanning multiple flows of events. I enjoyed each and every one of these endings (even though some were much sadder than the others). One of the things that I most appreciated from the story was the allusion to events and elements from the game Psychedelica of the Black Butterfly. This is Psychedelica of the Ashen Hawk’s sister-game which released just a few months prior. I really enjoy seeing connected universes between different games and this is no exception. After finishing this game, I am equally excited about turning my attention towards the other one.

In terms of how the story is presented, there are three types of events: main episodes, short episodes, and talk episodes. All three of these are available to initiate from map screens which change as the story progresses. The main story episodes directly advance the main story and must be completed to progress. Short episodes are more focused on character development and relationship building. Viewing these is often necessary for unlocking main story episodes. Lastly, talk episodes are essentially short, 10-second long snippets of information about the townspeople. Viewing these earns the player points which can be used to unlock additional content and short episodes. This is one of my main gripes about the game. Throughout my time playing, I found over 80% of these talk episodes to be pointless, adding little to the overall story. They consist of a quick question and answer and neither tended to be very interesting or have much of a point. This isn’t a huge complaint mind you, but the talk episodes just felt out of place among the rest of the story content.

Other minor issues that I noticed include some very minor translation errors at points and some annoying save habits. There are autosaves in place for your progress and manual saves for your current “bookmarks”. Basically, the autosave keeps track of what you’ve seen while the manual save keeps track of where to return to when you resume the game. If you finish a series of main episodes and end up at a map screen, you are unable to save at this map screen. You need to instead choose one of the short episodes or main episodes on that screen and then save once you start viewing them. If you don’t do this, then regardless of any progress you make, you will be forced to view the episode associated with your last manual save. You won’t lose any completion progress, but you will be forced to watch or skip through some of the content again. This was a tad bit annoying until I realized what the issue was.

When all was said and done, my total playtime came in at just over 15 hours. I thoroughly enjoyed all 15 of them. The artwork was excellent, the voice acting was stellar, and the music (while a bit generic at times) fit the atmosphere very well. Combining those elements with an interesting and engaging story, I feel that this visual novel is definitely worth playing (even if you’re like me and generally aren’t interested in playing visual novels). You can grab your own copy either physically or digitally on the PSN store for $39.99 USD. To give you an idea of how much I appreciated this game, I felt compelled after playing it to purchase a physical copy. I also went ahead and snagged a physical copy of Psychedelica of the Black Butterfly. For those who don’t own a PS Vita or a PS TV, there is a PC port of Black Butterfly releasing in November and I would not be surprised if Ashen Hawk saw a port shortly thereafter. I would highly suggest that you check this one out.

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REVIEW: Psychedelica of the Ashen Hawk Title Psychedelica of the Ashen Hawk

#Aksys Games #Idea Factory #Otomate #Otome #psychedelica of the ashen hawk #Review #visual novel #Vita

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hollyplays · 6 years

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The Roundup: July 2018

It’s been a shitty, shitty month. I’m getting evicted, we got into a car accident, the new insurance has my girlfriend confused for someone with a horrible speeding ticket record, and my little brother, who is learning to drive, has started hiding the car keys for some reason.

I have a tendency to hoard media. During my first year of college I was extremely depressed and contemplating suicide when I read a piece of advice- find something to look forward to, and you’ll never do it. So I started hoarding comics- I think I have 180 GBs of comics on my computer- and movies.

Well, at some point during July things got so bad I started burning through my movies. I’m not sure exactly how many I watched, but...it’s a lot. This is going to be long.

(I have since stopped watching multiple movies a day, and gone back to semi normal movie watching habits.)

Tampopo: I think I technically watched this in June and forgot, but I love it. Tampopo is a “food western” about a group of food enthusiasts helping a young woman perfect her ramen restaurant. Tampopo has lots of smaller vignettes about how food affects our lives, and the result is lovely and comforting and meditative. Tampopo is excellent, and manages to have one of the best opening scenes to a movie I’ve ever seen.

The Exterminating Angel: This was my first movie by Luis Bunuel, and I loved it. This kind of supernaturalish, surreal horror really really works for me. Plus, the rich suffer, which is always nice. This movie is really wonderful, plus the behind-the-scenes stuff on the blu-ray was super interesting. Apparently to make the actors more uncomfortable in the scene, Bunuel would rub honey all over their arms. Nasty.

The Fisher King: My second Gilliam movie. Better than Jabberwocky, but I still wouldn’t call it good. Robin Williams was excellent as always, but I felt like Jeff Bridges was playing half a character. It had some touching scenes, but overall kind of forgettable. I don’t think I’ll be seeking out Gilliam anymore.

Badlands: I try not to judge directors on their first movie, but Badlands really comes out in Malick’s favor. This is as wonderful a movie about a serial killer as I’m likely to ever see. It’s like a landscape painting with characters. It manages to never be slow or drag despite long flowing scenes. I’m still thinking about Badlands more than a month later, and that says a lot.

Where the Water Tastes Like Wine: This is a really interesting game. WWTLW has one of the most unique mechanics I’ve ever seen in a video game, and the process of watching your stories grow and evolve is so, so cool. I wish the overworld map wasn’t so barren, and that the sprinting mechanic wasn’t such a pain, but beyond that this game is excellent. The writing here is top-notch.

Eraserhead: I’d technically seen this before, but I was half asleep so I’m counting it. Eraserhead is obviously good- it’s film history for a reason- but on a second viewing I’m struck by just how impressive the visual storytelling is. The dialogue in this movie could fit on half a page, but there’s still so so much to it. You need to see this at least once.

Frances Ha: “Frustrating, but enjoyable” seems to be Baumbach’s general ouvre, and Frances Ha is no exception. Still, I enjoyed this more than I thought I would. Frances is likable, even when she’s fucking up, which is more than I can say for her life partner Sophie. For as much time as Frances spends making mistakes, it’s really lovely and warm to see things come together for her in the end. Worth a watch, especially at an hour and fifteen minutes.

The Thin Red Line: Jesus christ, this movie is so long. It’s two hours and forty minutes long, and nothing of worth happens after the forty minute mark. It’s a war movie that manages to be beautiful and haunting, which would be impressive if it didn’t just fucking drag. I might watch this again and just turn it off at two hours, honestly.

Days of Heaven: I wanted this to be better than Thin Red Line and it was. Days of Heaven brings Malick’s landscape painter sensibility to labor in the 20th century, and the result is genuinely fantastic. The visuals here are stunning, even if the story is a little lacking- my biggest frustration is that most of the story events take place in the third act, like Days of Heaven is the first part in a series of novels that doesn’t exist.

Fat Girl: I get what this movie was trying to do. I understand the metaphor for how dangerous it is to be a woman. I get it, and I can respect it, but fuck do I hate this movie. I just don’t wanna watch 2 hours of a young fat girl getting shit on by her family, interspersed with rape scenes. I’m not interested in that, no matter how pretty it’s shot.

Mary and the Witch’s Flower: I watched this as a palate cleanser after Fat Girl, and it served that purpose just fine. It’s an okay movie on it’s own, but in the shadow of the rest of Ghibli it kind of pales. The animation and visuals are as phenomenal as ever, but the story is a little all over the place. Definitely still enjoyable, but sort of middling.

Sounds of Summer by Ten Toes Spumoni: If we’re Facebook friends, you’ve probably already seen me talk about this album. It’s been on repeat around here pretty much since it came out. Ten Toes Spumoni is a good friend of mine, and I genuinely believed nothing he made would top Journal of Hypnosis, but Sounds of Summer blows it out of the fuckin water. Throw a few bucks his way, because he deserves it.

Hannah Gadsby’s Nanette: This is a standup comedy act that isn’t particularly funny. It’s amazing, and full of toothed commentary on the world and LGBT issues, but it isn’t funny. It’s heavy, and hard to watch, and worth the trouble. I think this is one of the few things I gave 5 stars this month, and it deserves it.

Wizard of Legend: A big part of watching movies for me this month has been finding the perfect roguelike to play while I watch movies. I eventually settled on Gungeon, but Wizard of Legend was a strong contender too. It’s roguelike elements are really enjoyable, and finding the perfect combination of spells is fun, but resources are a little too scarce for my liking.

My Own Private Idaho: I loved this movie more than I expected to, and I knew I’d like it. My Own Private Idaho offers an exceptionally gay take on modern Shakespeare, and River Phoenix and Keanu Reeves are absolutely phenomenal here. The interview segments are a little hard to watch, but the rest of the movie is beautiful and sad and lovely. One of my favorites in a long time.

Coco: Similar to Witch’s Flower, I thought this was fine. The music is wonderful, and the animation is beautiful, but the story is a little lacking, especially towards the third act. I think Pixar forgot how to write villains that aren’t just ‘good guy’s been bad the whole time’. Hell, even Incredibles 2 did it.Those complaints aside, Coco is really enjoyable and well worth your time.

The Spirit of the Beehive: A meditation on childhood, the Spanish civil war, early film, and Frankenstein. I enjoyed thinking about this movie later more than I actually enjoyed watching it, I think. It’s a little slow, but the third act picks up and wraps the story up nicely. Definitely watch Huellas De Un Espiritu if you watch it, it adds a lot of context which helps the movie out.

Simon Of The Desert: Short movies are nice when you’re watching three a day, so I really appreciated Simon Del Desierto’s 45 minute runtime. It’s both less surreal and funnier than I expected- Simon Del Desierto feels more like Monty Python than Jabberwocky did. Highly recommended.

Cronos: A little disappointing, I’m not gonna lie. I’m a huge Del Toro fan, so I was really excited to watch his first movie, but it left me lukewarm. He describes it as a vampire film, but it takes a long time to find it’s legs. Worth the watch just for Ron Perlman and the scene where a little girl breaks his nose.

The Devil’s Backbone: This is what I wanted Cronos to be. A Del Toro twist on gothic romance and ghost story, Devil’s Backbone is as unsettling as it is charming. The kids in this movie are exceptional actors, and the script sells their childhood so, so well.

The Adventure Zone: Here There Be Gerblins: I didn’t expect too much from the graphic novel of TAZ’s first arc, but it really surprised me. Carey Pietsch’s art is just cartoony enough to bely the adult humor in the series, and the characters have been deftly adapted. The first arc in the podcast suffers a lot from ‘pregen syndrome’, where Taako and Merle weren’t super fleshed out, but the graphic novel rights the ship really well.

Black Girl: At 59 minutes, Black Girl is well worth your time mostly for how angry it’ll make you. Black Girl tells the story of a Senegalese woman who is deceived into becoming a house maid for a rich French woman, and the sheer amount of bullshit she puts up with before losing it makes her a saint in my eyes. I enjoyed this movie a lot, and I’m excited to see more African cinema.

A Hat In Time: I’ve played the shit out of this game and it never gets old. A Hat in Time is as charming as charming gets, and it perfectly recreates the feeling of playing Mario Sunshine for the first time. Only, you know, Hat in Time is fun.

Pony Island: Pony Island is one of those games that’s just a little too short- not because it feels rushed, but because I wished there was more when it ended. It’s a little cheesy in places, and the dialogue is a little slow, but the puzzles are perfectly scaled and the sense of humor is really great.

Styx: Shards of Darkness: This game might be good. I don’t know. The main character’s dialogue was so shitty I only played about 40 minutes of it. Imagine the mechanic in Jak & Daxter where Daxter makes fun of you when you die, but they got the writers from Family Guy really drunk and had them write it and never told them no.

#holly talks #holly plays #the roundup #july 2018

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mdwatchestv · 6 years

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Westworld 2x07: Robbin in the Cradle

I really don't like these silent previously ons as they only work to reinforce the idea that this show is really just a series of meaningless images. We really had a nice moment in the sun there with those two episodes that had tight central storylines, but now we have returned to the grim darkness of endlessly unspooling mythology and plot. To its credit though this episode did do quite a bit of explaining and even a bit of direct question answering, although of course those answers only led to new questions. What did we expect though honestly. I know I pledged to you at the beginning of this journey that I wouldn't look at anyone else's writing about this season, but I wound up having to use Insider's incredible Westworld Timeline (which you can see here) to orient myself before writing this.

The past few episodes have all taken place largely on the same "present" timeline, but it's not really the "present", as this episode reminded us there is an even more "present present". In case you forgot (as I sort of did), the REAL present timeline is the events happening eleven days after Ford's death, beginning with Bernard washing up on the beach. We still don't know how he got there, possibly it has something to do with the mass drowning of the other hosts. Everything else we have seen, Bernard and Shannon's super annoying hangouts, Maeve's epic journey to Shogun World, and Dolores' assault on the Mesa, has been a flashback. In our "present" timeline, the Eleven Days After Ford's Death, or 11 AF, we don't know the fates of Dolores or Maeve, we don't know where Abernathy's control unit is, and we don't know what happened to the other hosts. This episode opens in the most current present timeline, where Bernard and Luke Hemsworth have been brought back to the Mesa after finding Bernard on the beach. Luke has a bad feeling abut what's going on with Delos employees (Skarsgard, Fares Fares, Tessa Thompson), he thinks they care more about whatever tech they are trying to find than actually extracting anyone from the park. And how right he is, because no sooner does he make this declaration than the Delos crew cuff Bernard and Luke and drag them out to the secret cabin where Bernard killed Theresa in season one. Bernard is once again outed as a host in this location when a secret room is discovered FILLED with Bernard's own dead bodies. Oops. This was an interesting reveal because it shows Bernard has met a violent end many times before. Yes we saw him come back from a gunshot wound to the head, but the room of Bernard Bodies suggests that this is not the first time he has met an untimely fate. Now that Tessa Thompson knows Bernard's a host, she begins interrogating him regarding the location of Abernathy's control unit (containing the code that Delos desperately wants). Tessa wants Bernard to tell her what he remembers from Dolores' assault on the Mesa, when she took the control unit, and thusly the events of the rest of the episode are framed.

We now knowingly jump back to where we left off in the previous episode, with Dolores' group of rogue hosts storming the Mesa, Tessa trying to remove the control unit from Abernathy, and Bernard inside the cradle talking to Ford. Bernard and Ford proceed to have a very expositional conversation which actually provided some real answers! First of all we know now it was Ford's personality inside the red ball and this was all a part of his grand plan (obvi). He also tell's Bernard that while the human/host hybrid can't function in the physical world (ala Peter Mullan), that human programs can exist inside the cradle. Bernard also realizes the purpose of Westworld is to test human response and reaction in order to try and make coded copies of them. The hosts operate on loops as a 'control' so data about the visitors reactions can be taken. Delos is coding hosts and decoding guests! I bet someone was real proud of that turn of phrase, hey I would be. So what is the purpose of all this? Eternal life for those who can afford a copy of themselves? Could the cradle stand in as a sort of digital heaven, a San Junipero if you will? Ford tells Bernard that the oft talked about 'Valley Beyond' is the end of his story, and that Bernard knows there's no escape for him. In the cradle Ford also shows Bernard the finished version of the house he was building in an earlier flashback, the one in the mystery city that he brings Dolores to. Here we get another reveal that the letterbox scene at the beginning of last week's episode was Dolores testing Bernard's fidelity, something she did within the cradle to help perfect Bernard's personality to Arnold's. I was surprised we got such a straightforward answer to this, and I assume we will be seeing more of Dolores' testing conversations with Bernard in episodes to come. Anyway the revelations end when Ford takes control of Bernard and hitches a ride in his control unit back into the real world to continue executing his plan.

Back on the ranch (literally), Maeve finds herself running once again from the Ghost Nation warriors with her daughter in tow. But as she hides with the little girl, who should come walking around the house than the Man in Black. It was the Man in Black's brutal assault on her and her daughter in a previous storyline that led to Maeve's malfunctioning and eventual reassignment to Sweetwater. The Man in Black and his crew have very conveniently arrived in the same village, also in pursuit of the Ghost Nation, at the same time that Maeve is reliving her most traumatic memory. Upon discovering Maeve, the MIB immediately suspects this is part of Ford's game, despite Maeve's believe she is acting independently. Even though Maeve is able to get some shots off against the MIB, and even turn his own men against him, I have to agree that the whole thing feels a little TOO coincidental to be chance. First the MIB reunites with his estranged daughter who blames him for the death of her mother, and then he just so happens to run into the daughter and mother he mercilessly destroyed in the park? The whole affair simply smacks of Ford's meddling. And yes, even though Maeve is in control of her own choices, she HAS been motivated purely by an overwhelming drive to find her daughter, a drive that stopped her from escaping and has set her on a very specific course through the park. ANYWAY Maeve almost succeeds in killing the MIB once in for all after she gets Clifton Collins Jr to recall all the abuse he has suffered at his hands in past storylines. The MIB is badly wounded when Simon's cavalry arrives, gunning down both CCJ and Maeve. In the fracas the Man in Black crawls away, and Maeve's daughter is once again inevitably captured by the Ghost Nation. Maeve however is rescued by Simon as he knows she is special, but also I think because he has gotten a bit attached to her.

Finally we arrive at Dolores' attack on the base, where she and her crew of hosts easily dispatch Coughlin's men. Their mission is both to secure Abernathy's control unit, and also destroy the Cradle thereby also destroying all the host backups and freeing them from ever being 'restored'. Bad!Teddy is on full display, and boy o boy is he bad and also hot! Capable, deadly, wearing all black, these are things I look for in a man. I don't know what Dolores is so butt hurt about, she made him SO much better! Dolores' takeover of the base culminates with her facing off against Luke Hemsworth and Tessa Thompson in the lab where Abernathy is being kept. Even though there is a nothing but animosity between the two characters, seeing Dolores and Tessa square off again made me think that maybe a Westworld/San Junipero IS a good idea. I AM JUST SAYING. Tessa is saved from a last minute lobotomy by Abernathy coming to and calling out to his daughter. Dolores and her father share a touching moment together before she tearfully kills him and takes his control unit. Elsewhere in the base the battle between host and solider rages on with Clementine getting fatally gunned down and Talulah Riley suffering a major wound. Talulah carries on her mission to destroy the core and is able to defeat one of Coughlin's soldiers (who has her cornered) through THE POWER OF SEDUCTION. Honestly this scene drove me crazy, like I know she is hot and all but this guy just watched her murder all of his comrades! She is a killer! Also she is standing in a pool of her own blood! There is a huge hole in her torso! Even though I appreciated her 'cool girl' monologue, I couldn't get behind that this tactic would actually work. I mean I know men are trash, but COME ON, how stupid can you be? Anyway she uses one of his grenades to blow up the cradle and the two of them in the process. Boy bai.

While this is happening Bernard, under the control of Ford, ditches Shannon Woodward and slaughters a ton of Delos dudes. He then proceeds to go to the map room and shuts down the entire park! Meanwhile on her way out Dolores runs into a wounded immobile Maeve lying on a stretcher. Dolores offers to kill Maeve and set her free from her pain, but Maeve insists she has made a promise (to her daughter). Methinks this is not the last time these two will cross paths. Simon is miraculously able to survive all of this via hiding, truly his abilities are cockroach-like. Now that we have seen the entire saga of Dolores' destruction of the base, we return to the present where Bernard tells Tessa the area location of Abernathy's control unit. Tessa is smug, thinking she finally has the upper hand, but of course we know that it is more than likely Ford is acting through Bernard to move the players around his game board. Bernard of course has no reason to know where Dolores is heading, after all as we saw ourselves the two had no interaction when she was in the base. The only way he knows where she is taking the control unit, is because Ford knows too.

Final thoughts, everything that is happening seems to be a part of Ford's master plan. Everyone, consciously or not, is playing his game. We know the conclusion to his narrative is at the Valley Beyond, but what that means or what his real designs are remain to be seen. Also it's notable that no one has successfully left the park, or really even tried to. Is this because, as I now suspect, the location of the parks makes easy exit near impossible? I wonder particularly why Luke Hemsworth, whose spidey senses are justifiably tingling, doesn't simply exit stage left. I miss Shogun World honestly.

XO MD

#westworld #martha writes #westworld spoilers #westworld recaps #westworld gifs #tv writing #tv gifs #tv recaps #tv reviews

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14domino · 4 years

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I have a lot of ideas for improving the state of tournament and recreational Scrabble, mostly revolving around the technological aspect of things. I am aware that there are many other ways in which it is lacking, but my expertise is in technology, and that's probably the best way I can make an impact.

Let's start with some projects I have already built:

Aerolith

https://www.aerolith.org is my word study website. It's been around in some form or another since 2007; I believe I launched it as a downloadable desktop app around the time of the Players' Championship. I rewrote the whole thing in 2011 as a web app, a considerable undertaking as I knew nothing about web programming, but the experience acquired here helped me obtain a job as an early employee-turned-cofounder at a YC company (Leftronic), which was then acquired a few years later, giving me some minor version of success.

I've used it as a bit of a technological testbed; I added and removed sockets at some point, I've rewritten it with the latest in JS tech (React.js at the time, although it looks like that's here to stay for a bit longer), and played with backend deploy technologies like Kubernetes (mostly a mistake, honestly, especially for such a small site). I get a few hundred users a month, around 450 monthly actives and 150 daily actives last I checked. It's a nice site that I'm pretty proud of, and is mostly self-sustaining in that I get just enough in donations to cover running it for free.

As far as the usefulness of it, it's a bit debatable. I certainly like using it and have learned a lot of words from it, and many people enjoy it and tell me about it, but it has at least a few glaring omissions. The one that comes to mind is some programmed way to study; i.e., something like spaced repetition / cardboxing. I've collected a ton of data on word difficulty that I could use, but I haven't had much time to add more features to my app recently. The deployment of it is also suffering, and I need to greatly simplify it.

For the future, the main things I want to add to it are spaced repetition / some sort of intelligent way to study words, which would keep per-user and global statistics on words that are easy or hard and know how to ask these of the user. I think this would make the tool much more useful. There are also a ton of small improvements, like showing previously guessed anagrams per question, allowing user to easily continue when their time runs out, untimed quizzes, etc.

Macondo

Macondo is not released yet; it is intended to be a machine-learning version of Quackle. I am still quite early in the development of it, although I have made a bunch of progress. Mostly, it can play games against itself with some preliminary "superleave" values for every rack. We need to determine these superleave values in a better way and have them converge to, or at least be close to Quackle values (or explain why they're not).

Machine learning hasn't been done with Scrabble yet, but I think this field is ripe for innovation. I think a proper machine-learning enabled AI can beat Quackle's Championship Player at least 60-70% of the time. The ideal place to showcase the finished AI would be in a best-of-X match against a top player (ideally Nigel Richards!) with some sponsored prize money on the line. I think this would provide great publicity for the game of Scrabble. Additionally, the tool would make huge strides in making players even better.

Some improvements I would add to it as well:

Automatic rangefinding

Heat maps for simulations, other statistics

A great pre-endgame solver, with a UI clearly showing winning and losing variations, etc

A great endgame solver (this is a prerequisite for the pre-endgame solver). The Quackle one is good but has issues with stuck tile endgames. I have spent a ton of time building a minimax-based solver with alpha-beta pruning; it's quite slow and buggy. I think I can significantly improve its speed.

Lots of graphs (showing values of tiles as the game progresses, winning % as game progresses - for easy analysis of famous games, etc)

It's still quite early and it's hard to find time to devote to both projects and my full-time job. Progress can be found here: https://github.com/domino14/macondo

Crossword Online

Or whatever we want to call it. The state of the art for playing online Scrabble sucks to put it mildly. ISC has an ancient interface, may actually have legitimate randomizer issues (I don't fully buy it but I've heard enough anecdotes and some data), and its phone app is not very functional. EA Scrabble is awful and is going to be discontinued. Its replacement is not getting rave reviews. We need something akin to lichess.org for Scrabble - this beautiful online Chess site is mostly a one-man job it seems. It is my dream to build something like this for Scrabble, but a giant undertaking in terms of time. I actually started on a game viewer and made a lot of progress on the front end for this app, but have almost no server code, and abandoned it once I saw ISC was releasing a phone version. However, after seeing the phone/browser version of ISC it's clear we still need a good solution.

From another perspective, I think an app that allows us to have proper tournaments would be great for the environment. I don't think it's sustainable in the long term for people to be flying everywhere constantly. I'm not saying the world will turn into Ready Player One anytime soon, but with an awesome app and proper anti-cheating technology we could start having some more high-profile tournaments without players having to travel to each other. I do, however, still prefer the analog feel of Scrabble, the actual tiles and board.

Once I decide to tackle this again, I should be able to salvage a lot of my front-end viewer code, and combine it with Macondo to provide a back-end engine. I'd just need to write multiplayer code. The app should support both live games and correspondence games.

Phone apps for everything

Conrad has designed some nice mocks for Aerolith Mobile, and the Crossword app should also have a mobile app. I can probably use React Mobile to make it easy to cross-develop for Android / iPhone. I've never built a phone app before, but can always learn!

Aeroblogs, articles, etc

People write ephemeral tournament reports / blogs / strategy articles nowadays as Facebook posts. That's not ideal. They're hard to search, and if you're not on Facebook when they're written you might never see them. LiveJournal was cool while it lasted but people moved on. I think we need a proper blogging platform with actual Scrabble integration (imagine pasting a board diagram in ASCII and it generates a viewable board, with comments, etc, or links to tournaments on cross-tables, etc etc).

I also want to have strategy articles and video content easily available for search on this site. I'm thinking it could be something like channelfireball.com (for Magic The Gathering). We'd need to get content makers, but I think we have a few people who are willing to do that.

What do I need?

Time and funding. Even though I have some time on weekends, I need to be better at managing it. I am considering setting up a Patreon to see if people are interested. None of this makes much sense if people are not interested - after all, people vote with their wallets.

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sdvxii-moved · 7 years

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happy april 30th

I need scissors! 61! Kawanishi-Noseguchi, Kinunobebashi, Takiyama, Uguisunomori, Tsuzumigataki, Tada, Hirano, Ichinotorii, Uneno, Yamashita, Sasabe, Kofudai, Tokiwadai, Myoukenguchi. I noticed this a while back, but you have far too many Game Overs. Sorry to be blunt, but you really stink at this game. Honestly, though, you have played the game for a long time. Don't you have anything else to do with your time? I hear it's amazing when the famous purple stuffed worm in flap-jaw space with the tuning fork does a raw blink on Hara-Kiri Rock. Actually, I am in really bad shape financially. I pay money to my ex-wife as part of our divorce settlement, among other bills... I just had no choice but to make you pay for lunch the other day. I'm really sorry. Raiden, something happened to me last Thursday when I was driving home. I had a couple of miles to go -- I looked up and saw a glowing orange object in the sky, to the east! It was moving very irregularly... Suddenly, there was intense light all around me -- and when I came to, I was home. What do you think happened to me...? You wouldn't be trying to give yourself a bogus score using some ingenious trick would you? That's just about as low as anyone could possibly stoop! I can't believe you sometimes... You seem to get a real thrill out of slaughtering the enemy. Are you frustrated about something? I was a North American Fall Webworm in my past life. Those were the good old days... What were you in your former life? La-Li-Lu-Le-Lo! La-Li-Lu-Le-Lo! La-Li-Lu-Le-Lo! Raiden, are you receiving? We're (1) still here. Only (2) GW....To begin with -- we're not what you'd call -- human. Over the past two hundred years -- A kind of consciousness formed layer by layer in the crucible of the White House. It's not unlike the way life started in the oceans four billion years ago. The White House was our primordial soup, a base of evolution - We are formless. We are the very discipline and morality that Americans invoke so often. How can anyone hope to eliminate us? As long as this nation exists, so will we. Jack, don't be silly. Don't you know that our plans have your interests -- not ours -- in mind? Jack, listen carefully like a good boy! The mapping of the human genome was completed early this century. As a result, the evolutionary log of the human race lay open to us. We started with genetic engineering, and in the end, we succeeded in digitizing life itself. But there are things not covered by genetic information. Human memories, ideas. Culture. History. Genes don't contain any record of human history. Is it something that should not be passed on? Should that information be left at the mercy of nature?We've always kept records of our lives. Through words, pictures, symbols... from tablets to books... But not all the information was inherited by later generations. A small percentage of the whole was selected and processed, then passed on. Not unlike genes, really. That's what history is, Jack. But in the current, digitized world, trivial information is accumulating every second, preserved in all its triteness. Never fading, always accessible. Rumors about petty issues, misinterpretations, slander... All this junk data preserved in an unfiltered state, growing at an alarming rate. It will only slow down social progress, reduce the rate of evolution. Raiden, you seem to think that our plan is one of censorship. You're being silly! What we propose to do is not to control content, but to create context. The digital society furthers human flaws and selectively rewards development of convenient half-truths. Just look at the strange juxtapositions of morality around you. Billions spent on new weapons in order to humanely murder other humans. Rights of criminals are given more respect than the privacy of their victims. Although there are people suffering in poverty, huge donations are made to protect endangered species. Everyone grows up being told the same thing. Be nice to other people. But beat out the competition! You're special." "Believe in yourself and you will succeed." But it's obvious from the start that only a few can succeed... You exercise your right to "freedom" and this is the result. All rhetoric to avoid conflict and protect each other from hurt. The untested truths spun by different interests continue to churn and accumulate in the sandbox of political correctness and value systems. Everyone withdraws into their own small gated community, afraid of a larger forum. They stay inside their little ponds, leaking whatever "truth" suits them into the growing cesspool of society at large. The different cardinal truths neither clash nor mesh. No one is invalidated, but nobody is right. Not even natural selection can take place here. The world is being engulfed in "truth." And this is the way the world ends. Not with a bang, but a whimper. We're trying to stop that from happening. It's our responsibility as rulers. Just as in genetics, unnecessary information and memory must be filtered out to stimulate the evolution of the species. Absolutely. Who else could wade through the sea of garbage you people produce, retrieve valuable truths and even interpret their meaning for later generations? That's what it means to create context. But is that even your own idea? Or something Snake told you? That's the proof of your incompetence, right there. You lack the qualifications to exercise free will. Does something like a "self" exist inside of you? That which you call "self" serves as nothing more than a mask to cover your own being. In this era of ready-made 'truths', "self" is just something used to preserve those positive emotions that you occasionally feel... ...Another possibility is that "self" is a concept you conveniently borrowed under the logic that it would endow you with some sense of strength...Is it? Would you prefer that someone else tell you? Alright then. Explain it to him. Jack, you're simply the best! And you got there all by yourself! Oh, what happened? Do you feel lost? Why not try a bit of soul-searching?Don't think you'll find anything, though... Ironic that although "self" is something that you yourself fashioned, every time something goes wrong, you turn around and place the blame on something else. It's not my fault. It's not your fault. In denial, you simply resort to looking for another, more convenient "truth" in order to make yourself feel better....leaving behind in an instant the so-called "truth" you once embraced. Should someone like that be able to decide what is "truth"?Should someone like you even have the right to decide? You've done nothing but abuse your freedom. You don't deserve to be free! We're not the ones smothering the world. You are. The individual is supposed to be weak. But far from powerless -- a single person has the potential to ruin the world. And the age of digitized communication has given even more power to the individual. Too much power for an immature species. Building a legacy involves figuring out what is wanted, and what needs to be done for that goal. All this, you used to struggle with. Now, we think for you. We are your guardians after all. -- You want to control human thought? Human behavior? Of course. Anything can be quantified nowadays. That's what this exercise was designed to prove. You fell in love with me just as you were meant to, after all. Isn't that right, Jack? Ocelot was not told the whole truth, to say the least. We rule an entire nation -- of what interest would a single soldier, no matter how able, be to us? The S3 Plan does not stand for Solid Snake Simulation. What it does stand for is Selection for Societal Sanity... The S3 is a system for controlling human will and consciousness. S3 is not you, a soldier trained in the image of Solid Snake. It is -- a method, a protocol, that created a circumstance that made you what you are. So you see, we're the S3. Not you. What you experienced was the final test of its effectiveness. You heard what President Johnson said. "The Arsenal's 'GW' system is the key to their supremacy." The objective of this exercise was to establish such a method. We used Shadow Moses as a paradigm for the exercise. I wonder if you would have preferred a fantasy setting? We chose that backdrop because of its extreme circumstances. It was an optimal test for S3's crisis management capacity. If the model could trigger, control and solve this, it would be ready for any contingency. And now, we have our proof. Raiden, there are also reasons behind your selection. Solidus raised plenty of other child soldiers. Do you know why we chose you over them? It was because you were the only one who refused to acknowledge the past. All the others remember what they were, and pay for it daily. But you turn your back on everything you don't like. You do whatever you like, see only the things you like, and for yourself alone. Yes -- Rose can attest to that. You refused to see me for what I was. I lied to you, but I wanted to be caught. You pretended to be understanding, to be a gentleman... You never made a conscious attempt to reach out to me... The only time you did was when I gave you no choice but to do so... What? "Trying not to hurt me?" Dear, the one you were trying not to hurt was yourself! Avoiding the truth under the guise of "kindness" is all that you did! It occurred to you to do nothing but look out for yourself. Even if you claim that it was for my sake, that feeling was nowhere to be seen. In the end, everything was for your sake... I was never part of the picture. Ha, ha, ha...exactly right. So you see, you're a perfect representative of the masses we need to protect. This is why we chose you. You accepted the fiction we've provided, obeyed our orders and did everything you were told to. The exercise is a resounding success. "Didn't I tell you that GW was still incomplete? But not anymore, thanks to you." Your persona, experiences, triumphs and defeats are nothing but byproducts. The real objective was ensuring that we could generate and manipulate them. It's taken a lot of time and money, but it was well worth it considering the results. I think that's enough talk. It's time for the final exercise. Raiden, take Solidus down. Oh really? Aren't you forgetting something? "If you die, my child dies. " The termination of vital signals from your nanomachines means the death of Olga's child. Not to mention the death of Rose. She's wired the same way. "Of course I do, Jack! You have to beLIEve me!" It will be a fight to the death. Solidus, at least, wants you dead. We will collect the necessary data from this last fight, then we'll consider the exercise closed. So, Jack the Ripper! Will it be Solidus, the Patriots' creation? Or you -- Solidus' creation? Our beloved monsters -- enjoy yourselves. Jack, do you remember what day it is?

#long post /#IM AWAKE #IF YOUR NOT INTO MGS RHIS READS LIKE A REALLY LONG SHITPOST

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riverofmemoriesft · 7 years

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. The Game of Life . 10

Full Summary: “You’re new here, so I’ll explain the rules once. Winners get one lash, losers die. It’s quite simple. The last one standing gets no lash. We do one game a day here and you live as long as you can stand it. If you somehow miraculously try to get away, I kill you. It’s quite simple really.”

Pairings: Natsu x Lucy, Gajeel x Levy

Warnings: This really isn’t a fic for sensitive readers. Mentions of suicide, descriptive gore, the likes. It’s rated M, my friends.

Levy wasn't all too certain on what was taking Gajeel so long to come back, but Levy understood how careful Natsu had to be. Lisanna had explained that they were keeping her arrival under wraps to avoid the murderer hearing, and evening had come and gone before Natsu came up again, pencils and papers in his impatient fingers.

Ignoring the pain in her mouth and the aching bruises at her throat, Levy reached for the pencil and paper he'd found and went to work, writing as hastily as she could. She remembered her quills - her beloved quills with which she'd underlined quotes in books - and then forced her mind past such a petty matter.

Lucy, she thought and hastily drew a map on one page, making sure to number houses and circling the two or three that she thought Simon was in. She set the page aside and Natsu grabbed it, studying it.

She held up a hand to stop him from running off, and when he looked up, she began to hastily write, ignoring the way Lisanna was trying not to read over her shoulder. She'd tell more to everyone later. Natsu needed the information now.

His name is Simon, she wrote, He's a nullification mage that may actually have been considered S-Class if he were in a guild, and he can use a little of requip magic. I'm pretty sure he could nullify even Laxus' magic. I doubt he's as physically strong as you or Gajeel, but he's strong enough to kidnap Lucy and I at the same time. He's been using Lucy's whip. She scrambled to think of anything else. Amber eyes. He has amber eyes. Don't just walk past him, no matter how normal you think he is. The girls are in the basement of his house. They're cuffed to walls. Besides Lucy and I, there were three others: Ayako, the Lamia Scale mage, Maria, and Athena. You can't forget them in your rush to get Lucy. Maria and Athena aren't mages.

When she was done, Levy handed it to him. Natsu quickly read through and gave a curt nod. "I'll check the basement if I find his place. Do you know any easier ways to see past the things he hides?"

Levy narrowed her eyes and grabbed the paper back.

When she pushed it back into his hands, he read, The only way you can truly see everything is if you've been hidden as well, I think. He kills one girl each day after playing some kind of game in the evening, Natsu.

"If he thought you were dead," Natsu said slowly, and she flinched at the way he put it, "Then you were the one for last night. Tonight-" He scowled. Lucy.

She furrowed her brow and wrote, Not necessarily. If Lucy is still alive...he might have beaten her, but she could still technically have lived with the pattern he runs with. The loser of the game is killed. Natsu, there's a huge disadvantage, but…

"You thought she was dead though," he argued, and he grimaced at his own words. Why was he arguing with this? He tried to not let that hope gain too much ground in his chest, but Levy forced a gentle smile to her face and shakily touched his cheek.

Lucy was alive.

He leaped to his feet. "Fuck what Gramps said about not including Erza and Gray," he spat suddenly. "We're going out and we're finding Lucy. Levy-"

She waved him off and gave him a thumbs up to tell him she was fine with him telling them. Her eyes were blazing as she met his gaze. He was pretty sure her eyes said, Make him suffer, but he wasn't entirely sure.

He flashed Levy one last look of gratitude, and then froze when the door opened and in stepped Gajeel.

Natsu made a strangled sound in the back of his throat, and Lisanna gaped, too, before smiling to herself. Levy stared at the iron mage in shock and then promptly burst into both tears and laughter, earning a glare from Gajeel though his crimson eyes glittered with relief.

Lisanna made her way out the door as Natsu finally just shook his head and left, resting her fingers on his arm briefly. "I think it's a very nice haircut, Gajeel," Lisanna said honestly, smiling warmly before leaving the room.

Levy sniffled, trying not to cringe in pain as her laughter brushed over her tongue and made it ache and burn. She reached for her paper and pencil and wrote out a note that she handed to him, her hazel eyes twinkling and that terrified haunted look nowhere in sight.

"'You look great. Thank you,'" Gajeel recited aloud and then snorted. "Woman, don't compliment me before I give you a lecture"

She arched a brow, waiting.

"Don't go bein' all miserable about your damn hair," he told her. "'Cause the fact that you're here to be miserable about it is more important."

Tears gathered in the blue-haired woman's eyes, and she gave a little laugh, her gaze warm as she cupped her hands over her mouth to try and hide the smile that felt as if it was tearing her mouth apart. A choked sound suddenly escaped her and she began to sob. Gajeel grunted and hesitantly moved over, uncertain of what to do as she suddenly shuddered in pain.

"Let me look," he demanded. "I know the witch took a look earlier and said it would heal, but I wanna see so I can lecture ya about that, too."

She only shook her head. She didn't want anyone to see the hideous scarring within her mouth, remembering how Porlyusica had said that it would never go away. With shaking hands, she took his hand. He let her, seeming to flush as she suddenly brought his knuckles to her lips and just barely brushed her blistered mouth over them.

He stiffened a little, but didn't dare move. And when she dropped her head, still clutching his hand, to rest her forehead against his gently curled knuckles, he only smiled a little, trying his damn hardest to hide the relief that flooded through him that she was alive as his free hand lifted to tug thoughtfully on a short piece of black hair.

Natsu flew down the stairs, his onyx eyes blazing as he searched for his team. He found them speaking quietly with Juvia and practically tackled Erza, grabbing Gray by the collar of his shirt. Both squawked and gave him furious looks, but Natsu laid a dark look on Juvia, said, "Tell no one that we are gone," and proceeded to drag them to the back of the guildhall. He pulled both out through a backdoor that only Mirajane used on a regular basis and then released them, clutching his head when Erza smacked him furiously over the back of his head.

"Natsu Dragneel!" she hissed, glaring viciously.

"That hurt," he muttered, and then shook his head, immediately glaring back. "We have to leave. Now. Lucy's life is at stake. I'll explain on the way."

Erza looked uncertain, aware that they weren't supposed to do anything without Makarov's permission, but Gray nodded curtly. He recognized the look in Natsu's eyes; Natsu never would have risked Erza's rage in such a way without reason.

Natsu looked at a piece of paper and then shoved it into his pocket, tugging his scarf away from his mouth. "Come on, the sun's already going down and Levy said he kills at dusk."

"What?" Erza's lips parted as he took off at a spring. She took off after him, dressed in no armor. It gave her far more freedom as she and Gray raced along behind him. "What do you mean 'Levy said'-"

"Gajeel found Levy last night, 'caught the bastard in the middle of trying to throttle her." Natsu raced around a corner, grimacing at just how empty the streets were. "She woke up early this morning, while we were all sleeping, and I thought Lucy was dead at first, but Levy thought she might still have a chance."

"Okay," Gray said, choosing not to question why they'd spent all day unaware that Levy was alive and home. "Then we know where Lucy is?"

Now he hesitated. "Not exactly. Levy knew the few houses that might be his."

"But it's better than nothing," Erza said firmly. "We have reason to search houses now. Did she describe the man we're looking for?"

"Amber eyes," was all Natsu replied, sprinting over a bridge that led over the canal. "He has amber eyes." He shoved a hand into his pocket as he ran, fisting his fingers tightly around Lucy's keys. They seemed to warm beneath his touch, one even burning him.

Hold on just a bit longer, Lucy, Natsu pleaded as they began to reach the outskirts of Magnolia.

I'm coming!

Lucy felt numb, her heart broken as Ayako stood protectively in front of her. She wanted to order Ayako aside, but she ached and hurt. Too much to talk. She felt feverish and hot, too, and she guessed that her wounds were going to be infected soon if they weren't already. How fast did infection set in? she wondered.

Simon looked entirely amused by Ayako as she stood before Lucy. "Move. Or I'll let you die before her. She lost. You know the rules, Miss Ayako."

Ayako's hands shook. "Don't touch Lucy, you bastard. You've already tormented her long enough."

His lips twitched, and then drew downward; Simon was growing angry.

Suddenly, her whip cracked and Ayako screamed in agonizing pain. She dropped to her knees, curled into a ball and cradling her face. Blood began to drip between her fingers and Lucy felt sick at the sight.

She felt sick period, actually. Sick and numb and ready for this to be over.

My Spirits, she thought dully, wondering what had happened to them. Had Natsu found them and taken care of them for her? Would they be found and taken care of? Would they go to Yukino? Or would they end up in some cruel person's hands?

Lucy screamed when the whip cracked over her back, splitting the mess of skin even more. How she even had flesh left...how she even had the energy to feel anything or scream, she wasn't sure.

Suddenly, Ayako was kicked aside. She sobbed hysterically, clutching her face. Lucy struggled to move away, ignoring the way her sweat-slicked skin was sticky and covered with dirt and grime. She ignored the agony it brought her back to move.

"For the first time, I regret having cut your hair," Simon mused, suddenly kicking her. Lucy wheezed, blood touching her tongue. She rolled with the blow and then screamed again as the tender flesh came into contact with the hard unforgiving stone floor.

"I could have dragged you by it. This'll work, I guess." Lucy cried out as his hands descended, grabbing her and hoisting her up without pity. "Can't kill you here...I don't like the smell of decay that death brings, you see. It's why I've been taking you all elsewhere to do the deed. You must understand, Miss Heartfilia, I don't enjoy the killing, but I see it as a necessary evil. Women are all cruel and heartless. They all play with the hearts of men and then rip them to pieces. I'm saving your partner from what he thinks is affection. In reality, you're trying to crush him and steal his soul."

Lucy found herself struggling to stay conscious. "You're insane," she managed to get out. "More than insane. I love Natsu. He's my partner and...and more. He'll burn...he'll turn you...t-to ash. I r-regret...that...I won't…" She couldn't bring herself to finish, the pain ripping through her.

I regret that I won't be able to watch you turn into ash, Lucy thought and then knew nothing more.

#fairy tail #fanfiction #the game of life #riverofmemoriesft #nalu #natsu x lucy #gajevy #gajeel x levy #natsu dragneel #lucy heartfilia #gray fullbuster #erza scarlet #lisanna strauss #gajeel redfox #levy mcgarden

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theonyxpath · 4 years

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First, it’s They Came From Beyond the Grave! and the Kickstarter that would not die. Or died and came back, if that’s more appropriate to the genre.

We’ve a little more than two weeks to go and it is shambling along having passed another Stretch Goal last week! You can gather more details in the Kickstarter section below!

Then there’s They Came from Beneath the Sea! whose PDF and PoD versions go on sale this Wednesday on DTRPG. Now this isn’t the traditionally printed version that was the main reward for its Kickstarter – that’s getting shipped over to the KS fulfillment gang at Studio2.

We need the other parts of that KS, like the Screen, to get there before Studio2 can start fulfilling the KS, but everything is being worked on at this point, so not too long now!

Finally, just wanted to throw out a little thought exercise to everyone. We’ve chatted in panels and such online about what could be next for They Came From…!, and I think we even have a thread about that topic on our Onyx Path forums, with such titles as They Came from Boot Hill! or They Came From Over Yonder! (Western genre), They Came From Under the Bed! (kid’s scary shows), and They Came From Past the Moon! (spaceship sci-fi).

But what would you be interested in? They Came From Monster Island!, maybe? Give us your thoughts in the comments section below!

From The Monday Meeting-

We reviewed our panel at Gen Con Online today in the Monday Meeting, and here are some interesting thoughts about that and more from Eddy Webb:

Our attendance at the What’s Up panel definitely seemed better than usual for Gen Con, but (understandably) lower than when we did it at Onyx Path Con a couple months back. The chat seemed well behaved, too. I think it’s worth doing again.

Related, one of the panels I did was in Second Life on Saturday. I admit I was skeptical, but the people running it were some old friends of mine, so I gave it a try, and honestly it really scratched an itch that Twitch streams don’t. They built out a large chunk of the Indianapolis convention center, down to the Grand Ballroom and the food trucks, as well as more fantastical settings like a fantasy forest and a post-apocalypse landscape. Many of the people I talked to were very new to tabletop RPGs and just excited to hear about things like Pugmire. And, to be honest, not having a camera on my face all the time made me feel a lot more comfortable, and the chats I was having before and after the event felt more like coming and going to an in-person panel. Yes, it also suffered from some disjointed messaging and the like, but we had a talk about dealing with things like the learning curve, and they have some good ideas for other conventions going forward. The group is called VRazethebar, and it’s something I’m definitely keeping an eye on.

Which is actually pretty cool. A VR space to gather in rather than the stacked head-shots sounds really interesting and immersive. The future of LARPing?

The Dog Days of Summer Sale on our Deluxe X20 books and Screens and even dice is going gangbusters over at IPR. I’m told we are completely out of the very last Werewolf: The Apocalypse 20th Anniversary Editions!

We added Changeling: The Dreaming 20th to the sale as well, so that includes the Deluxe book, the Screen, and C20 Dice!

Finally, we realized today that a bunch of us were going to be out all next week, and rather than having folks hang around as a skeleton crew, I just declared next week as a holiday for the whole company!

Frankly, we are beat every way somebody could be. Mentally, psychologically, physically, psychically, emotionally, creatively: BEAT. Our crew needs and deserves a break!

So, no MMN Blog next week, although we’ll probably put up a KS reminder or something like that late Monday.

No Onyx Pathcast next week, although I understand that this Friday the Trio will suggest their favorite ones to listen to while they’re gone.

We will have a project for sale that Weds, the 12th, as we can set that up ahead of time. More details below, but I’m thrilled to say it’s Mysteries of the World: The Scion Companion. I know a lot of folks have been waiting for more official Scion material – so here it is!

After a break to recharge, we’re hoping to come bouncing back all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed (and fanged and caped) and get right back into taking you to our:

Many Worlds, One Path!

Blurbs!

Kickstarter!

The They Came From Beyond the Grave! Kickstarter continues to claw its way free, and in the process it reveals treasures hidden in the grave dirt: the Screen and the first section of Monsters from the Crypt: a book containing More Monsters, and also an exclusive KS t-shirt coupon! Next up in Stretch Goals are even More Monsters and electronic Wallpaper!

Thanks to all of you who have pledged to enable this fantastic project and its Stretch Goals!

Here’s a specially-made special trailer by the brilliant Larry Blamire:

And keep your eyes open for:

Onyx Path Media!

This week: They Came From Beyond the Grave! actual play!

As always, this Friday’s Onyx Pathcast will be on Podbean or your favorite podcast venue! https://onyxpathcast.podbean.com/

First, let’s start with some amazing news: our amazing creators, players, and audiences worked together last week to produce some fantastic content for our Twitch channel, and not only that, they raise a grand total of $2,734.69 for charity! This is a wonderful accomplishment, and our hats go off to Travis Legge and the rest of the team who contributed to the running of this campaign.

If you missed the special streams we ran, do not despair: they are still available over on twitch.tv/theonyxpath. Give us a follow, and you can find a huge number of videos of all kinds of games, PLUS, our What’s Up with Onyx Path? livestream conducted for Gen Con weekend! This week on Twitch, expect to see these games and streams running:

Scarred Lands

Mage 20: Technocracy Reloaded

Scion – Behind the Screen

They Came from Beyond the Grave!

Mage: The Awakening – Occultists Anonymous

Scarred Lands – Purge of the Serpentholds

Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition

Even more Technocracy Reloaded!

Get watching for some fantastic insight into how to run these wonderful games and subscribe to us on Twitch, over at twitch.tv/theonyxpath

Over on YouTube, our friends at Red Moon Roleplaying have concluded their They Came from Beyond the Grave! story, with their usual excellent editing, quality, and in this case, a lovely cast of players led by Director, Matthew Dawkins! Come join in and listen to the Cult of Abaddon at play: https://youtu.be/RDYzNbk7VkQ

Come take a look at our YouTube channel, youtube.com/user/theonyxpath, where you can find a whole load of videos of actual plays, dissections of our games, and more, including:

Storytellers with Coffee – The Games of Onyx Path – https://youtu.be/QxRRq-WQytg

Changeling: The Lost – Littlebrook Reunion Episode 24 – https://youtu.be/huEkMrUcR2Q

Blood City: Chicago by Night Episode 22 – https://youtu.be/eYkgKmDY9-o

(Matthew’s favourite) Scarred Lands – Purge of the Serpentholds Episode 9 – https://youtu.be/3_mdkDrSezY

Deviant: The Renegades – A Cautionary Tale – Episode One – https://youtu.be/b394NFi0gnU

Realms of Pugmire: Paws & Claws – S2E9 – https://youtu.be/UAGU27vkJ54

Subscribe to our channel and click the bell icon if you want to be notified whenever new news videos and uploads come online!

Systematic Understanding of Everything is a new Exalted Explainer Podcast by Exalted Dev Monica Speca and Exalted Writer Chazz Kellner that is breaking down Creation in 45 minute chunks in preparation for Exalted Essence.

Their most recent episode in on Creation and its history – https://anchor.fm/exaltcast/episodes…reation-eg2g9d

Get past episodes at http://www.exaltcast.com/

The Story Told Podcast have just started a new chapter in their Fall of Jiara Exalted chronicle, and we’d love it if you gave them some support. Here’s episode one!

https://thestorytold.libsyn.com/fall-of-jiara-act-1-summary-recounting-of-the-past

And here’s their character introductions:

https://thestorytold.libsyn.com/fall-of-jiara-character-intros

Please check these out and let us know if you find or produce any actual plays of our games! We’d love to feature you!

Electronic Gaming!

As we find ways to enable our community to more easily play our games, the Onyx Dice Rolling App is live! Our dev team has been doing updates since we launched based on the excellent use-case comments by our community, and this thing is awesome! (Seriously, you need to roll 100 dice for Exalted? This app has you covered.)

We’re told that the App Dev is currently creating an updated version for the latest devices, so keep an eye open for those!

Virtual TableTop!

Introducing a Virtual Tabletop encounter pack for the Trinity Continuum Core: Hunt for the Red Widow on DTRPG!

Hunt for the Red Widow is a short encounter designed starting Talents in the Trinity Continuum Core setting. When a renowned but mysterious thief known as The Red Widow steals an ancient artifact from the Æon Society’s vaults, it is up to the party to track her down and recover the device. She is heading to an old ruin said to unlock the artifact’s true power. Can the heroes reach her in time?

Inside you’ll find:

A short encounter for use with the Trinity Continuum Corebook

Two new antagonists: The Red Widow, and her minions, known simply as “Ghosts.” Virtual tabletop tokens are included to represent the antagonists

Two maps, ready to be uploaded into your virtual tabletop platform of choice

New Anomaly Powers.

On Amazon and Barnes & Noble!

You can now read our fiction from the comfort and convenience of your Kindle (from Amazon) and Nook (from Barnes & Noble).

If you enjoy these or any other of our books, please help us by writing reviews on the site of the sales venue from which you bought it. Reviews really, really help us get folks interested in our amazing fiction!

Our selection includes these latest fiction books:

Our Sales Partners!

We’re working with Studio2 to get Pugmire and Monarchies of Mau out into stores, as well as to individuals through their online store. You can pick up the traditionally printed main book, the screen, and the official Pugmire dice through our friends there! https://studio2publishing.com/search?q=pugmire

We’ve added Prince’s Gambit to our Studio2 catalog: https://studio2publishing.com/products/prince-s-gambit-card-game

Now, we’ve added Changeling: The Lost Second Edition products to Studio2‘s store! See them here: https://studio2publishing.com/collections/all-products/changeling-the-lost

Scion 2e books and other products are available now at Studio2: https://studio2publishing.com/blogs/new-releases/scion-second-edition-book-one-origin-now-available-at-your-local-retailer-or-online

Looking for our Deluxe or Prestige Edition books? Try this link! http://www.indiepressrevolution.com/xcart/Onyx-Path-Publishing/

And you can order Pugmire, Monarchies of Mau, Cavaliers of Mars, and Changeling: The Lost 2e at the same link! And now Scion Origin and Scion Hero and Trinity Continuum Core and Trinity Continuum: Aeon are available to order

It’s the return of the DOG DAYS OF SUMMER SALE!

As always, you can find Onyx Path’s titles at DriveThruRPG.com!

On Sale This Week!

This Wednesday, the PDF and PoD versions of They Came From Beneath the Sea! arise from the depths and go on sale on DTRPG!

They Came from Beneath the Sea! is a dramatic and farcical tabletop roleplaying game encompassing the wonder, horror, thrills, and humor of 1950s and 1960s science fiction. This game allows you to play with all the great content from the B-movies of decades ago, and promises a dynamic, fun time for all involved!

In They Came from Beneath the Sea! you play humans in a world under attack. The attackers? Aliens from beneath the sea (obviously). Adventures range from the one-shot defense of a small coastal town, to the lengthier liberation of a cruise ship infested with gill-folk, all the way to the story in which characters seize an alien submarine and ride it all the way down to the sea bed to take the fight to the invaders. In this game, your protagonists are strong-jawed war veterans, cunning and resourceful explorers, utterly insane scientists, and blue-collar heroes, just looking to defend their patches of land.

They Came from Beneath the Sea! contains a mix of serious threat and unbridled farce. While the book plays it straight with no winking at the camera, your game will include ludicrous statements and events taken with all the gravitas of your boat being set on fire. While this game provides rules for funny quips and amusing cinematics for incorporation in a scenario, we leave it to the players and Director to discover the correct level of humor for your game.

They Came from Beneath the Sea! uses the Storypath System, provided in full in the pages of this book!

They Came from Beneath the Sea! includes:

• Five playable Archetypes — the Everyman, the G-Man, the Mouth, the Scientist, and the Survivor!

• Rules for character creation and play, using the Storypath System fully detailed in this book!

• Cinematic powers such as the ability to insert deleted scenes in your game, cut to black when everything is looking a bit too grim, and redirect shots to kill the extras!

• Quips to throw in at appropriate (and sometimes inappropriate) moments, giving your characters the chance at an award-winning scene!

• The history and setting of the 1950s world presented in this book!

• Scores of aliens promising the fall of the human race, presenting a broad array of dangers and objectives for repeat play!

• Two ready-to-play scenarios, straight out of the book!

And on Wednesday the 12th, we are delving into the Mysteries of the World: The Scion Companion, in PDF and PoD versions on DTRPG!

Though knowledge, wisdom, and the ability to see the unseen are many Scions’ birthrights, the World holds infinite secrets. Gaze deep into Tezcatlipoca’s mirror or the eyes of an avian bringer of omens, and no matter how sagacious you imagine yourself to be, you’ll learn something new — or something older than time.

Scion: Mysteries of the World presents optional rules and new pantheons, expands upon setting elements and systems, and gives Storyguides and players both a leg up in not only understanding Scion’s particular brand of the Storypath system, but fine-tuning it to meet their table’s needs. You don’t need this book to play a game of Scion, but if you want to explore the World and its many mysteries in more depth, it’s got you covered.

This book includes:

A system and advice for dialing elements of the game setting up and down to uniquely suit your game;

An expansion of cults, crafting, and relics;

Three new pantheons — the Loa of Haiti, the Nemetondevos of Gaul, and the Yazata of Persia — as well as the optional Atlantean pantheon, as an example that comes with advice and rules for how to create your own custom Purviews and pantheons;

A guide for converting Scion First Edition characters and stories to Second Edition.

Conventions!

Though dates for physical conventions are subject to change due to the current COVID-19 outbreak, here’s what’s left of our current list of upcoming conventions (and really, we’re just waiting for this last one to be cancelled even though it’s Nov/Dec). Instead, keep an eye out here for more virtual conventions we’re going to be involved with:

PAX Unplugged: https://unplugged.paxsite.com/

And now, the new project status updates!

Development Status from Eddy Webb! (Projects in bold have changed status since last week.):

First Draft (The first phase of a project that is about the work being done by writers, not dev prep.)

Exalted Essay Collection (Exalted)

The Devoted Companion (Deviant: The Renegades)

M20 Technocracy Operative’s Dossier (Mage: The Ascension 20th Anniversary)

Prometheus Unbound (was Psi Orders) (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

No Gods, No Masters (Scion 2nd Edition)

Redlines

Dragon-Blooded Novella #2 (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Wild Hunt (Scion 2nd Edition)

CtL 2e Novella Collection: Hollow Courts (Changeling: The Lost 2e)

Adversaries of the Righteous (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Squeaks In The Deep (Realms of Pugmire)

Trinity Continuum: Anima

Second Draft

Many-Faced Strangers – Lunars Companion (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Contagion Chronicle Ready-Made Characters (Chronicles of Darkness)

Dead Man’s Rust (Scarred Lands)

The Clades Companion (Deviant: The Renegades)

M20 Rich Bastard’s Guide To Magick (Mage: The Ascension 20th Anniversary)

Dystopia Rising: Evolution Fiction Anthology (Dystopia Rising: Evolution)

Hundred Devil’s Night Parade (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Novas Worldwide (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

Exalted Essence Edition (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Saints and Monsters (Scion 2nd Edition)

Development

TC: Aberrant Reference Screen (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

Across the Eight Directions (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Contagion Chronicle: Global Outbreaks (Chronicles of Darkness)

Exigents (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Assassins (Trinity Continuum Core)

Kith and Kin (Changeling: The Lost 2e)

V5 Forbidden Religions (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

V5 Children of the Blood (was The Faithful Undead) (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

Trinity Continuum: Adventure! core (Trinity Continuum: Adventure!)

Manuscript Approval

Crucible of Legends (Exalted 3rd Edition)

M20 Victorian Mage (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

V5 Trails of Ash and Bone (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

Mission Statements (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Post-Approval Development

Editing

Lunars Novella (Rosenberg) (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Mummy: The Curse 2nd Edition core rulebook (Mummy: The Curse 2nd Edition)

Player’s Guide to the Contagion Chronicle (Chronicles of Darkness)

Contagion Chronicle Jumpstart (Chronicles of Darkness)

TC: Aberrant Jumpstart (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

LARP Rules (Scion 2nd Edition)

Heirs to the Shogunate (Exalted 3rd Edition)

The Book of Lasting Death (Mummy: The Curse 2e)

Scion: Dragon (Scion 2nd Edition)

Scion: Demigod (Scion 2nd Edition)

Dearly Bleak – Novella (Deviant: The Renegades)

N!ternational Wrestling Entertainment (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

Under Alien Skies (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Post-Editing Development

City of the Towered Tombs (Cavaliers of Mars)

W20 Shattered Dreams Gift Cards (Werewolf: The Apocalypse 20th)

Cults of the Blood Gods (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

Hunter: The Vigil 2e core (Hunter: The Vigil 2nd Edition)

Trinity Continuum: Aberrant core (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

Deviant: The Renegades (Deviant: The Renegades)

Monsters of the Deep (They Came From Beneath the Sea!)

Legendlore core book (Legendlore)

Pirates of Pugmire KS-Added Adventure (Realms of Pugmire)

Tales of Aquatic Terror (They Came From Beneath the Sea!)

Terra Firma (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

One Foot in the Grave Jumpstart (Geist: The Sin-Eaters 2e)

Masks of the Mythos (Scion 2nd Edition)

Trinity Continuum Jumpstart (Trinity Continuum)

They Came From Beyond the Grave! (They Came From!)

Indexing

Lunars: Fangs At The Gate (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Art Direction from Mike Chaney!

In Art Direction

Tales of Aquatic Terror

WoD Ghost Hunters (KS)

Aberrant

Hunter: The Vigil 2e

Mummy 2

Deviant – Sam doing fulls for this next. Contracting out all the rest.

Legendlore

Technocracy Reloaded

Cults of the Blood God – Rolling along.

Scion: Dragon (KS) – Splats contracted.

Masks of the Mythos (KS) – KS art contracted, a couple of finals already in.

Scion: Demigod (KS) – Fulls are almost done… other stuff progressing.

They Came From Beyond the Grave! (KS) – KS running.

TC: Adventure! (KS) – Cover is in.

Geist: One Foot In the Grave

In Layout

Yugman’s Guide to Ghelspad

Vigil Watch

V5 Let the Streets Run Red – Almost wrapped up, still working on Loresheets.

Pugmire Adventure

Scion Titanomachy

Trinity Core Jumpstart

Proofing

Trinity Aeon Jumpstart – PoD files updated.

Lunars: Fangs at the Gate – Indexing.

Cavaliers of Mars: City of the Towered Tombs

Magic Item Decks (Scarred Lands)

Yugman’s Guide Support Decks (Scarred Lands)

TC Aeon Terra Firma

At Press

TCFBTS Heroic Land Dwellers – PoD proof on the way.

TCFBTS Screen and Booklet – Files at press.

They Came from Beneath the Sea! – Shipping from printer to KS fulfiller, PDF and PoD versions on sale this Weds.

Pirates of Pugmire – Shipping from printer to KS fulfiller.

Pirates of Pugmire Screen – Files at press.

Dark Eras 2 – Files printing.

Dark Eras 2 Screen and booklet – Files at press.

Changeling: The Lost 2nd Edition Dark Eras Compilation – PoD proof on the way.

Contagion Chronicle – Press prep.

Contagion Chronicle Screen and Booklet – Files at press.

Lunars Wall Scroll Map – Files at press.

Lunars Screen and Booklet – Files at press.

Scarred Lands Creature Collection – Printing.

Scion Companion – One PoD proof in, other expected this week. PDF and PoD versions on sales next Weds, not this Weds!

Today’s Reason to Celebrate!

One happy and one sad today. Today is the 49th birthday of our Kickstarter Concierge James Bell! James has been a ray of blinding golden light or a veritable Grond of Kickstarter-running for us and we’re sure glad to have him! Have a great day, eh!

Mike Chaney let us know today of the passing of his mother last night. None of us ever met her, but she managed to raise one of the nicest people, and talented art direction and layout maestro, that Mike is, so we feel like we have in a way. Thank you so much for that, ma’am. RIP.

#Onyx Path Publishing

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lovetostare-blog1 · 7 years

Text

Code Unturned

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