#honey fucking dijon

[cultreslut]

Tom of Finland x Honey Fucking Dijon Red Printed Bandana

[page-28]

Love sensation

[psalacanthea]

pork loins are always on sale but I run out of ways to cook them so easily. asdfjkhhfkawhje i can butterfly and stuff it but it's so TEDIOUS.

[kennexara]

the good news: i have discovered i can eat an entire salad if I put dijon mustard or honey mustard on it (fuck ranch why is that the go to dressing it don't disguise shit)

the bad news: the amount of dijon/honey mustard needed to make the salad palatable is apparently the amount that gives me heartburn

[elphantasmo]

Targeted ads are a fucking nightmare.

I ordered a fancy salad while out with my stitching group for dinner. I did it because I didn't want something heavy to sit in my stomach or something complicated and messy. It also looked (and was) damn good.

All of a sudden I now have weight loss program ads.

All because it heard me order a salad at dinner.

People can like salads without wanting to lose weight. 🤷

Bring back my weird yarn ads. It's more fun to look at the pretty colors.

[kermitheefrog]

this day was a roller costa....

[waitinginthecorner]

Stayed up sooo late to cry and chill and eat and ill totally feel this tmmrw bur for rn i connected w my feelings and let my tits out and made lil midnight dinner w older fridge fixins and I culled a fly after I couldn't save it but most importantly I Made Do...I need to give more time and effort to myself than I currently do. That being said I'm gonna get like 3.5 hours of sleep tmmrw and im gonna try to be relatively on time so

.... wish me luck lol xoxo

[trashbending]

hate to say i like a dr*ke song but i like how she connects the dancehall to the ballroom w how she commentates on heated

[scorpioandthefrog]

My husband was unceremoniously let go from his managerial job at Panera Bread at the start of covid because he had the absolute audacity to advocate for the employees he was managing. I can’t exaggerate how much he bent over backwards for this company, dropped everything to go in overnight because they needed someone, etc

ANYWAY we ended up moving two states away to a much smaller town, and three years later these CORPORATE GHOULS decide to open a location here. These absolute bedbugs in human form decided to take their slimey greens and full menu devoid of even but one crumb of a spice or a flavor

And wow do I have half a mind to do a crime about it

BUT INSTEAD here’s some tips to make better sandos/ salads/ smoothies better by yourself

- The best honey mustard is literally equal parts dijon, honey, and mayo plus a little salt. Adjust to taste depending on how you like it

- The formula to make great vinaigrette is 3 parts oil to one part acid. I do 2:1 because I like it more acidic. The acid can be any kind of vinegar, citrus juice, mustard, etc. my go to that will get you compliments every time is 3tbs oil, about 1.5 tbs balsamic, and about 2tsp each of honey and dijon. Salt and pepper to taste and minced shallots if I’m trying to impress someone. You can shake them together in a jar or tupperware to emulsify, I usually whisk it together in the bottom of the bigass salad bowl so it’s one less dish

- The best smoothie in the world is frozen peaches, frozen strawberries, orange juice, and silken tofu. It’s also a very pleasant shade of tropical pink

Eat well and stick it to the fucking man ✌️

[plumslices]

If beyonce doesn’t release the house sample remixes specifically made for the tour transitions im going to riot theyre so fucking good i need to know what dj did them probably honey dijon.

[pesterloglog]

Porrim Maryam, Latula Pyrope, Meenah Peixes, Aradiabot, Mituna Captor, Damara Megido, Kankri Vantas, Karkat Vantas, Kanaya Maryam, Tavros Nitram, Sollux Captor, Vriska Serket, Terezi Pyrope, Rufioh Nitram, Horuss Zahhak, Equius Zahhak, Nepeta Leijon, Gamzee Makara

Act 6, page 5427

PORRIM: I saw the cro+wd fro+m way o+ver there. Acco+rding to+ peo+ple o+ut o+n the cusp, this is so+me so+rt o+f co+stume party?

LATULA: tru f4ctz grl!!! just j4m yours3lf 1n th3 p1l3, l1k3z th1s!!!

MEENAH: ah fuck are people way over there still callin this a party

ARADIABOT: destr0y

MITUNA: S0M30N3 15 70U5H1NG M3. 7H15 N33D5 70 570P

DAMARA: 誰かが私に触れている。続けてください。[Someone is touching me. Please continue.]

KANKRI: S9ME9NE IS TRIGGERING ME. THIS NEEDS TO BE TAGGED.

PORRIM: Sho+o+sh!

MITUNA: 1M 50RRY

KARKAT: OH GOD, I CAN HEAR HIM WHINING FROM ALL THE WAY OVER THERE.

KANAYA: Someone Over There Is Probably Making The Same Observation About You

KARKAT: YEAH, AND YOUR ANCESTOR IS PROBABLY CHIDING HIM MATERNALLY OVER THERE, JUST LIKE YOU ARE WITH ME. EVER THINK ABOUT THAT??

KANAYA: I'm Sorry

ARADIABOT: kill

TAVROS: (wherE, OH, wHERe,)

SOLLUX: ehehehehe, thii2 party ii2 a fuckiing JOKE.

MEENAH: no its a shitty battle royale pass it on you dirtscrapin sack of honey dijon rubbish

SOLLUX: niice dress, fiin face, olol.

TAVROS: (iS, my prEciOUs,)

VRISKA: Tavros, stop crawling around under everyone's feet! You're 8eing so weird.

TEREZI: Y34H, W3 C4N 4LL H34R YOU WH1SP3R1NG TO YOURS3LF. PR3TTY W31RD, BRO. >:\

TAVROS: (none of Them, can uNderstAnd,)

ARADIABOT: destr0y

RUFIOH: haha, yo 1 th1nk 1 hear my young ancestor wh1sper1ng from all the way over here... about someth1ng prec1ous... sh*t 1s crazy!

TAVROS: (tHe beAUTY, of my PrEcious,)

HORUSS: 8=D < It reminds me of when I was similarly sm*tten, and searched everywhere for the perfect snout ring for you, to FORTIFY our commitment. Do you remember, Rufioh?

RUFIOH: whoa, yeah! heh, those were the days... (hey doll, m1nd 1f we talk a b1t? 1 ma1nly want to look d1stracted... so the guy w1th the ponyta1l leaves me alone... you d1g?)

ARADIABOT: death t0 all

RUFIOH: ahaha... d*mn. so much l1ke the real th1ng 1t's... freaky }:o

ARADIABOT: like what real thing

RUFIOH: uh... you know, l1ke...

ARADIABOT: if y0u say like alive aradia i will make y0u BEG f0r a h0rse b0dy

RUFIOH: no no, l1ke someone else!!! d*mn... uncanny...

ARADIABOT: 0h 0k

RUFIOH: hey, you're pretty cool babe... want to... like... if you aren't doing anything...

EQUIUS: D --> E%cuse me, what is going on over here

RUFIOH: (man... not another zahnak! haha, this is f***in crazy...)

ARADIABOT: this guy with the m0hawk was flirting with me and i was being fully receptive to his advances

RUFIOH: whoa you were?

EQUIUS: D --> I see. Aradiabot #100502, why must you devastate my pump biscuit so?

NEPETA: :33 < *the pouncellor astutely pawbserves the exchange and updates her shipping grid with startling developments of the heart!*

EQUIUS: D --> Nepeta, stop!

NEPETA: :33 < no!

EQUIUS: D --> Yes

NEPETA: :33 < no

EQUIUS: D --> Yes

NEPETA: :33 < no

GAMZEE: HONK

TEREZI: MOR3!!! MOR3 1 S4Y!!! 4444H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4!!!!!!!

[afanbeingatheart]

okay so it is lunch day and fucking. pork chops were reduced price cause they needed to go. and i, in a fit of hubris, bought some. i have never cooked pork chops. there is a reason that when i cook meat, it tends to be in the form of soups, or stews, or braises, or crockpot shit. meat terrifies me. but, god help me, i have decided to pan fry these pork chops. my studio is filled with smoke, send help.

they're thin cut pork chops, apparently. i coated them in dijon mustard and a little bit of honey and a little bit of franks red hot. i have cooked one, and stopped. half because the smoke half because i want to check if it's actually cooked through or if i need to change my method of attack. i did not grow up in a pork eating household, it made my mom's arthritis flare up, so this is an entirely new frontier to me. as a more comforting frontier, i've been peeling apples for applesauce in the meantime. i also am going to make brownies and creamed spinch. i have some leftover mashed potatoes from a thing this weekend, and that'll round out this week's lunch. when i run out of tatoes i will just make rice

[corvuscorona]

no idea what ppl are using mustard powder for most of the time though honestly. I've put it in stuff but I couldn't tell you what. I feel like if you're already at the "taste testing it and going 'well what the fuck'" phase you'd get more mileage out of like. Some Dijon. wet-style. hey if you're reading this can you tell me what you use mustard powder for ??

side note: celery seed / celery salt are also pretty good to have. if only for like, potato salad type stuff. celery really tastes.

side side note that one post a while back was not kidding about "put nice mustard and also some honey in your grilled cheese". it's good. but you have to use the Olde Cheddar.

[997]

green velvet and honey dijon co producing the same beyonce track... the grace jones vocals in move.... yea this album fucks

[abrahamshipwreck]

Menu for tonight:

Cranberry pecan kale salad with poppyseed dijon dressing

Slow roast tri-tip beef in char siu marinade

Grilled garlic rosemary bread

Fresh cut watermelon and honey mango

Lemon watermelon agua fresca

'Cheat' lemon pie with swiss meringue

Yeah I am going to be fucking USELESS tomorrow

Meanwhile this is what Magellan is doing on the longest day

[wumblr]

albums i missed because i was fucking busy: kelly lee owens, lykke li, christina aguilera, bonobo, cat power, JANIS IAN, 2chains, animal collective, cate le bon, jlo??, altj, joss stone, metronomy, mary j blige, judy collins, tears for fears, jenny hval, angel olsen, soft cell, LITTLE BOOTS, bloc party, kehlani, bonnie raitt, miranda lambert, martin garrix, psy, warpaint, black keys, moderat, obongjayar, flume, swedish house mafia, arcade fire, andrew bird, purity ring, neneh cherry, SHEARWATER, ZOLA JESUS, LAURA VEIRS, black midi, interpol, odesza, sza, erasure, hudson mohawke i guess, SYLVAN ESSO, DIAMANDA GALAS, kenny beats, muse, kt tunstall, blood orange, COSEY FANNI TUTTI, death cab, little dragon, TIRZAH, broken bells, lindsey stirling, brian eno, tove lo, BIBIO, duckwrth, serj tankian?? tegan and sara, nosaj thing, helena hauff, mgmt, plaid, busta rhymes, honey dijon, loreena mckennit, nina hagen, sugababes, and the aforementioned in the tags alice glass and beach house. begrudgingly, perhaps empress of, or king princess (they're nepotism babies, i don't really care but they each had a couple good songs). weezer? wilco? rhcp? what am i even saying. somebody should do a mashup album of devin townsend lightwork and kerli shadoworks lol (quick, call danger mouse)

ibeyi, ravyn lenae, flo milli, dragonette, steve lacy, doechii, and saweetie probably should have made my end of year list (which i haven't even officially finished since i guess i'm re-researching it now). sorry. pretty sure i listened to khruangbin (one of them?), cypress hill, regina spektor, cudi, bjork, christine/queens, rtj, and snoop. not totally sure. lissie's album was good. billllllllllie, ho99o9, mdou moctar, beabadoobee, snotty nose rez kids, and molly nilsson look interesting. i knew about kojey radical, mura masa, kilo kish, mylene farmer, and carly obviously but i don't think i ever got as far as actually listening to their albums. i guess i never listened to latto's album either but i feel like i did because she did features with EVERYBODY

is the girl talk/wiz khalifa collab good or like. is khalifa straightedge now? what's going on there. (i'm joking but he just released a single called #neverdrinkagain.) do the wiggles have appeal for someone who is not a child? tumblr is probably not the place to ask that. should i get into father john misty if i never got into. fucking. what's his name. take me to church guy. with the oatmeal. probably not the right place to ask that either, where is the right place? is perfume genius's album actually industrial? (edit: no...? why would wikipedia say that) aldous harding isn't a guy? noah cyrus is the girl from ponyo? daphni is caribou? i hope gayle gets hit by a truck. sorry. fakeass. sorry. was poot's album any good? SORRY. is meghan trainor's? did mwami ever come through with an album? i've been waiting on it since he was featured on clairo's soundcloud mixtape. did mars argo?

this is mostly for my own reference (which is why i'm crossing them out as i listen, which is not a review but i generally give good reviews to everybody). but anyway it was RUDE of y'all not to tell me. especially the ones in all caps. LOVE them. what else did i miss