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waking-dreams-of-harmony · 3 years

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The Last Dragon

Below the read more I've posted 7 very small sections of a fic that is based on this beautiful and tragic fanvid. I got literal chills watching it. If you wanna sob over our queen and her son wanting to avenge his mother, give it a watch.

I don't think I'll ever go any further, as my writing had an unfortunate run in with a brick wall, which then toppled over it and crushed any urge to write the next bit.

It's not too terrible--though it could actually be total shit, I'm not known for my writing 😂--and it was just gonna gather dust on my laptop, so figured I might as well post it. This was one of my ways of dealing with that fucked up last season within the framework of the show. I dont believe this is Dany's end, and I loathe with every fiber of my being what happened to her and her found family. And after seeing that video, the idea of Drogon doing everything he could to avenge the mother he loved more than anything appealed to that anger inside me. So I'll understand if this isnt for everyone ❤

Chapter 1

Mother.

He flies, great black wings carrying them away.

Mother.

Sharp, massive claws curl in gently. Protectively.

Mother is gone.

The cold creeps, burning against his scales the way fire never has.

Mother don’t leave.

A whisper on the wind calls to him.

Mother it hurts.

East, it sighs. It smells of smoke, and fire. Hope.

He follows, wings beating faster.

They took you.

The rage flares, searing away the cold.

They killed you.

The heat of it bursts within him, scaled skin shaking with the strength of it.

Fire and blood.

Jaws stretch wide, and the air burns red with grief.

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Chapter 2

The sky bleeds red from the dying sun when Drogon reaches Volantis. The whisper that drew him there stops as he lands on an open balcony.

A woman stands before him, black hair and red robes flying up in the gust of wind from his wings. His claw gently opens, Mother’s cold body slowly sliding onto the hard stone.

Crimson, mournful eyes watch the red woman kneel by Mother, pale fingers hovering over her, not touching, for a long moment.

“I cannot bring her back, Drogon,” she murmurs, regretful.

He throws his head back, bellows fury and sadness into the sky. No, Mother, come back. I am alone.

A faint brush at the back of his mind--where Mother used to be, his brothers, the thoughts they shared together--grasps his attention. Makes him look back down at the red woman.

“I cannot give you back Daenerys Targaryen, but I can give you something else.”

His nostrils flair, and his head moves closer.

“I can give you the revenge you desire. As it stands, you may be able to raze the whole of the Seven Kingdoms, turn it all to ash, but that would not be what your mother wanted.”

Drogon growls, lips pulled up in a snarl. Sheep. All are sheep. Betrayed Mother. Killed Mother. No mercy.

She nods her head. Comprehends what he is unable to say out loud.

“Yes, they all betrayed Daenerys, took from her and killed her when her visions grew too great for their small minds. They could not grasp that the Mother of Dragons was above all a breaker of chains. She would have freed us all.”

She pauses, then continues, her voice hard. “They need to be punished. And they will be. But Daenerys’ dreams must be realized. Dragon’s Bay must remain free. The Dothraki cannot return to what they were, raping and pillaging. And the petty lords of Westeros must be laid low. Those who destroyed Daenerys must see their reigns come to an end not only by dragon fire, but by the unification of the people they have ground into the dust, unified against them.”

“A dragon has the power to do great things, but to lead men, to lead armies, that is the one thing you cannot do, Drogon. Not as you are. You must be more. And by the Lord of Light’s grace, you can become exactly what the people need.”

Drogon rumbles in frustration, steam billowing from between his sharp, clenched teeth. He doesn’t understand.

“Human, Drogon. You must become human.”

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Chapter 3

They take Mother, to clean her, he is told. Remove the dagger, her clothes. Wash the blood away.

The red woman directs him to fly from the balcony, down into an open courtyard below. A large fire pit rages with a towering flame. It warms him, feels like Mother’s hand caressing his scales.

Dragons cannot cry. A mournful moan makes his great neck tremble. Human. Perhaps he can cry when he is human.

People in red robes enter the courtyard, one after another, until they circle around Drogon. His tail twitches. Their closeness agitates him.

The red woman appears, crossing the circle to stand in front of the fire. Hatred fills him when he sees what is in her hands. The dagger stained with Mother’s blood. Coward. The coward’s dagger.

“I am sorry Drogon. It is a necessary piece of the ritual. Soon,” she soothes, “you will have all you need to begin your campaign against the traitors.”

Another voice brushes against that same place in his mind. That lonely place where Mother, Rhaegal, and Viserion once lived. Soon, it too promises.

The red woman turns her head, scans the other acolytes before catching Drogon’s eyes.

“Let us begin.”

Voices hum together in chant, and the sky is filled with an agonized roar.

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Chapter 4

Drogon.

He groans.

Drogon, my love.

Everything hurts.

You cannot sleep forever, my beautiful boy.

He moves his head slightly. Cringes at the sharp pain.

Wake up, Drogon.

Mother? Why does everything hurt so much?

It’s time.

The voice begins to fade. He reaches out a hand, slowly, to make it stay, and freezes. He has a hand. A human hand.

Fingers curl into his palm, and the nails scratch against his skin, bite into it. His legs scrape against the stone as he slowly stretches out one, then the other.

He can still feel the fire to the side of him; it feels heavier, pressing on his skin but it does not hurt his flesh.

What burns more painfully is the missing weight of his wings. No flight for him now.

Cold fingers brush his shoulder, curve sharply to hold him when he recoils.

“Drogon?”

He doesn’t like to be held, or touched, no one but Mother, and his brothers, but they are gone. Gone, gone, gone…

“Drogon! It is only me, Kinvara!” The voice finally penetrates, and he stops pulling away.

Allowing for her help, he rolls carefully onto his back. Sharp pebbles dig into his skin. No scales to protect him anymore.

He feels her fingers move to his face, tracing the human features. “Open your eyes Drogon. See what the Lord of Light has gifted to you.”

Gift? No gift. Just more pain. Weakness. But he opens his eyes. The fire from the pit is soothing, warm. Warmer than...before. Would it burn him? His hand flinches towards it but he’s not close enough to touch.

He turns his eyes toward Kinvara. She is smiling, eyes reflecting the fire’s light.

She waves a hand towards an acolyte. “Bring me a robe. We must cover our dragon prince.”

Red cloth is laid over him, and two other acolytes help Drogon to sit. They hold him up as the other wraps the robe around him more securely.

Drogon grits his teeth, blood rushing angry and hot.

He tries to talk, mouth struggling to form the human words. “W-We—” He growls, tries again. “W-Weak.”

“For now,” she says. “But you will grow stronger, I promise you.”

Drogon struggles to stay awake, but bone deep exhaustion pulls at him, and his frustration wanes as he slips into slumber.

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Chapter 5

Four moons pass before Drogon is ready to set sail for Meereen. He was like a hatchling again, unsteady, vulnerable, and he hated it. Kinvara and her priests taught him the ways of his new body, how to eat and walk, to read their words.

Coarse fabric to wear instead of steely scales.

But now it is time. Time to search out Grey Worm. Daario. The Unsullied and Dothraki. Train with them and become stronger. Much stronger.

He knew how to fight as a dragon. Armies and castles were nothing against the heat of his fire. He must learn how to wage war as humans do.

Wrapped in a red cloak, hood hanging low over his face, Drogon is ready to begin.

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Chapter 6

They are waiting for him at the dock after the sun has set, Grey Worm and Mother’s sellsword, two silent figures who do not move, do not speak until Drogon stands before them.

Daario breaks the silence first. “Drogon?”

He pulls back his hood, unnaturally crimson eyes in a human face flashing in the near dark.

Daario sucks in a breath, then huffs out a laugh. “If the red priests had not sent word ahead, I may not have believed it. But by the gods, here you stand.” He reaches out an arm for Drogon to clasp.

He does so, hesitantly, but with a firm grip. Human greetings still puzzle him.

Grey Worm steps closer then kneels, bows his head bowed, fist pressed against his chest. “Ñuha dārilaros. Bisy qringaomatan īlva dāria. Īlon emagon ossēntan se nāpāstre skoriot pōnta iōrtan (My prince. This one failed our Queen. We should have killed the traitors where they stood.).”

Drogon does not know if he is asking for forgiveness or absolution.

Dragons have no real concept of forgiveness. He should be angry the traitors were allowed to live. But Grey Worm is kin, as the little scribe had been. Mother’s old bear too, and the white-haired knight. Everyone who had been under Mother’s protection, had been under her children’s protection as well. And would continue to be.

“Rise, Grey Worm.” His voice is rough and sharp edged, and it seems to startle the two men to hear him speak. “Those that hurt Mother, that used her and took her life will be punished as they deserve. But I need your help. So rise. Let us repay them with fire and blood. For Mother. For Missandei. For them all.”

He holds out a hand, waits.

Grey Worm looks up, eyes bright with unshed tears. His lips tremble, then firm. He takes Drogon’s hand.

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Chapter 7

They convene in Mother’s chambers, the map room he would never have been able to fit in before almost cavernous to him now.

Spread out around the table, the three men pull together a plan as they look down at the map.

First, they will weed out the opposition in Essos, solidify their hold in the east. Astapor, Yunkai, they will all come to heel, every slave freed. They would be as clever as Mother had been, keep the number of innocents lost as low as they could. Drogon would prefer to burn through the Good Masters, snap them up and tear them apart, but for Mother, he would be patient, and take the slower path. All the slavers would still die, and their victims would live, and live free.

But for what Drogon had planned, he needed steel in place of claws, armor instead of dragonhide. He needed Grey Worm and Daario to make him as fearsome as a human as he’d been as a dragon. And that would take time.

He ground his blunted teeth together; he hated waiting. Hated it. But let the traitors think they were safe for a while longer. It would be all the sweeter when he ripped that feeling of safety away, just as they ripped Mother away from him. His brothers. His home.

They would feel his pain. And then they would feel nothing at all.

#daenerys targaryen #drogon #mother of dragons #got au #team targaryen #team daenerys #daenerys appreciation #drogon appreciation #my fic #my moodboard

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multicolouredbeanbag · 4 years

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pt 3 sorting characters into hogwarts houses

Part 1 Part 2

Tl;dr: April Stevens is a Hufflepuff who projects Slytherin; at her core she is a loyalist and she values community, even though her definition of a community has become GREATLY limited due to… reasons.

so here’s the thing. April looks like a Slytherin. She talks like a Slytherin. She walks like a Slytherin. But I don’t think she actually IS a Slytherin.

Today I defend the idea that April Stevens is actually a Hufflepuff (primary, ie. her motivations/values) and a Ravenclaw secondary (methods/tactics). I absolutely love this character even tho she is a lil mean, and I think that viewing her through this framework does justice to her complexities/core of who she is.

I mention the primary/secondary sorting hats system in Part 1 so feel free to google that or read my other analyses first.

Spoilers below:

Let’s talk about April’s secondary first, which addresses the HOW of person. How they approach situations, how they problem solve.

HP canon often posits Ravenclaws as the “intelligent” character, and while April IS very smart, that’s not why I consider her a Ravenclaw.

April is a HUGE planner and collector of information. She likes to be prepared because it gives her control over a situation. She’s an excellent strategizer. She’s less comfortable with improvising without having some tools/contingency plans to draw from, so when she’s stressed, she has a tendency to fall back on the tools that she’s brought with her (in contrast to Sterling, who absolutely thrives in improvisation)

My first example is the debate tournament - as team captain, she’s in it to win it. Her strategy of choice is to prepare detailed dossiers on all the other team captains. This works well enough for her, until opponent debater Craig pulls a move she couldn’t anticipate (using his own research against her), and she falls to pieces. Still, she takes some time, gathers herself again, and pressures Sterling to use the dossier on Craig to take him down (contingency plan).

Other examples:

Asked Sterling to debate her when deciding whether to come out or not - girl RUNS on logic

April’s approach to school is very organized/planning based, she’s also kind of a major nerd OBVIOUSLY, so this is a more conventional representation of her Ravenclaw-ness

S1E1, she snatches the condom wrapper but retreats with the information probably for processing purposes. She makes a plan - use threat of exposure to blackmail Sterling into giving her the fellowship position, and doesn’t deviate from it, even when the plan fails. Sterling has to save her from that situation ultimately.

This is a little more vague, but I’m thinking about how April comes off as a rigid, somewhat inflexible character. She’s not very easily persuaded to change her behavior (this, of course, makes so much sense! When you think about being gay in the south like? Her reluctance to come out is completely understandable) which contrasts very severely against Sterling’s expressive fluidity. April is a lot more static, and part of that is because it’s difficult for her to thrive when it’s an area that she hasn’t had the opportunity to prepare/plan/study.

Now for the much more interesting and complicated part, April’s PRIMARY.

Again, the Primary is all about WHY someone does something. Their motivations and values. I argue that April Stevens is a true Hufflepuff because she places utmost importance on community.

The HP canon defining qualities of being Hufflepuff are patience and loyalty. It’s the fair and inclusive house. However, it would be reductive to suggest that all Hufflepuffs are friendly, warm individuals. They are bonded together not by their shared amity, but by their value of people and groups—community.

April’s “community” on the show is unfortunately tied to her family and the Christian community. She fears not belonging (bc homophobia) so she overcompensates by conforming aggressively (see, Straight-Straight alliance S1E1).

The episode that really sold this analysis for me was S1E7, when April and Sterling had a number of conversations about April’s dad.

April: “My dad used to call my family a team. And I worked so hard to be the very best version of myself because Team Stevens wins. Teams Stevens is perfect, except that it’s not.”

With these words, we get some insight into why she’s so intense and high-achieving and obsessive all the time. It’s not so much because she wants to win for herself, it’s more the fact that she’s part of a team. She does her part for the team by excelling everywhere she thinks it counts, and of course her underlying gayness contributes to her NEED to be perfect. In practice, it comes off as personal ambition, which is why April seems, at least on the surface, pretty slytherin-y. In reality, it must be more about compensating for something she feels she lacks. Team Stevens can’t be perfect if they’re ostracized by the community due to their (only?) child being gay, so of course she has to keep it to herself, and she has to be the best on all other counts so no one can ever touch them.

Another example, S1E6, at the tournament April says, “You know what’s going on with my family right now; we have become the black sheep of the entire community. I needed a win!” She projects her personal problems onto external academic goals.

This framework of achievement as a prerequisite of community, flawed as it is, seemed to be working for her, at least up until her dad was arrested for attacking a prostitute. In a conversation with Sterl, back when April was trying to steal the fellowship title:

S: Why are you doing this? Is it because of what’s going on with your family?

A: What John did is his problem.

S: He’s still your dad.

A: I don’t care. He beat up a prostitute! I’m not a fan of sex workers but they deserve to be safe!

She obviously feels confused and hurt that her dad lied to her and was violent to women, which is something she cannot stand. For a while, she drops her father like a hot potato, throwing away his letters from jail and ignoring his calls. Hufflepuffs value people—fair is fair.

But she kind of still supports him at the end anyway, when he comes home (s1E10). She must be feeling so conflicted when this happens. Dad is a part of family (established community) therefore she has to support him. Dad possibly hurt someone, but then he did get cleared of his charges. April is essentially making a choice between Dad and Sterling, established community vs. possible (in fact PROBABLE) community alienation.

Hufflepuff and Slytherins are both loyalists because they both care about people—Hufflepuff because they’re people, Slytherin because they’re THEIR people. For all intents and purposes, by S1E10, Sterling is one of April’s “people.” So how does April choose? She goes with the established community, which is really to say she chooses culture and tradition.

April has spent her entire life locking away a significant part of herself for the sake of her family and more generally, her religious community. In S1E8/S1E9, April is almost convinced to come out—FOR Sterling. She probably would have gone through with it were it not for her dad showing up the next episode. April obviously has (justified) reservations about coming out because it’s honestly pretty dangerous to be out in the south, and these circumstances haven’t changed just because she found a girl that she likes. But she is reluctantly on board because Sterling would have been there to take the leap with her… at this point, April had expanded her definition of community to include Sterling, and for a moment Sterling’s optimism had broken past April’s defenses. Then her dad comes back, and April realizes that she has to make a choice even though this choice hurts them both terribly—Sterling is after all, one person, and what is one person in the face of boundless historical tradition and family values?

Hufflepuff morality tends to be influenced by external inputs, while Slytherin morality tends to come from the internal, the gut. Hufflepuffs can and will ignore their internal feelings when they contradict with the needs of the community. Slytherins are less easily swayed by external influences if they are sure they are right.

April has shrunk down her loyalties to a more manageable level (truly, a very LIMITED circle), but still prioritizes fairness and loyalty and of course, second chances. It’s partly why she’s open to reconnecting with her father. Maintaining these loyalties comes at the cost of her relationship with Sterling, but this is something April is willing to do: self-sacrifice for (greater) community.

Just to take a step back, April and Sterling’s relationship back in 5th grade is just… fascinating. In S1E6, we find out that April’s whole grudge against Sterling comes from when Sterling “gave her away” to another group at recess. An odd event that they both remember differently, and who can say what really happened? All we know is that April’s animosity comes from this perceived slight— the abandonment by someone she once trusted and considered part of her community. It’s very telling that their rivalry stems from this particular moment, the fracturing of a loyalty, as opposed anything else.

April: “the past is the past, we’re all adults here” but alsooo April, >:’(

Another example: at the tournament, when April is trying to convince Sterling to use the dirt on Craig to secure their win.

S: I don’t know if I can stoop that low.

A: He did it to me!

April’s first instinct was a quid pro quo, you attack me, my group will attack you. Which is why she is so offended that Sterling refuses to take the shot, because in April’s mind, it’s only fair. This exchange supports the idea that April considers community first, ambition second.

I like to think that April hides her vulnerable side, her honest hopes and dreams, behind her external perfectionism and ambition. I like to think that she cares a lot, that she’s a prickly, distrustful, kind of Hufflepuff who craves validation because she thinks it’s a substitute for connection. And I would like to see her find that type of community, that she and EVERYBODY deserves: love that doesn’t contain (in her words) “a post condition that we follow their rules for love.”

#teenage bounty hunters #tbh #april stevens #sterling wesley #stepril #devon hales #character analysis #hp houses #ok but if the tbh characters actually did go to hogwarts april would HUNDO P be in slytherin #it's alllll about the choice #gotta live up to the clearly elite pureblood upbringing that she would have #an abrasive intense gal trying her best #I LOVE APRIL STEVENS and devon if ur reading this? love u too #y'all i'm not religious but is it obvious who I project onto?#if u read the tags #thank u

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luxurysuccess1010 · 4 years

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nerdylittleshit · 5 years

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Thoughts about Spn 15x03

SPOILERS AHEAD! BEWARE!

Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo… This episode man. I’m having emotions. Several of them. I love me some angst and well this episode delivered. Though I think that the promo for this week’s episode kinda spoiled the big character death at the end, so I really thought they might go another way. This episode focused on big character moments, with the Ghostapocalypse functioning as a vehicle for those moments. We do say goodbye to quite a few characters (though some just temporarily), so next week we will shift from an ensemble cast back to Sam & Dean, and what looks like a classic monster-of-the-week-episode, though given it is the last season there might be more to it. We will see. Until then, let’s have a closer look at this week’s episode.

Ketch me if you can

Let’s start with Ketch, who… well dies. And unfortunately next to Rowena’s big sacrifice you almost forget his death. Which felt a bit underwhelming to be honest. First of you don’t expect a hunter/former Men of Letter/ assassin to be killed by a demon. Why was there no protection in the hospital? No devil’s trap, nothing? And of course ketch died in the way we would not have expected of him: sacrificing himself to protect Sam and Dean. Which of course should show us how far he has come, how much he has changed, in particular by the Winchesters. And yet it kinda felt cheap, not only because we saw similar death scenes before or it felt too easy for Ardat to kill Ketch, but because Ketch’s death scene has to live up to Rowena’s and naturally he loses against that competition.

If anything Ketch’s death was yet another reminder that this is the last season, so the show tries to wrap up as many story and character arcs as they can, though I hope we will see other endings than characters who sacrifice themselves. You just can’t let them all die. And as mentioned Ketch’s death follows a pattern, we have seen characters like him and deaths like his before. Characters who start out as antagonists, become better through the Winchesters and end up giving their life for them: Meg, Crowley, and now Ketch and Rowena.

Like I said it kinda felt cheap, using the same trope over and over again, though perhaps this is yet another meta level. We have Dean pointing out that the Ghostapocalypse feels sort of sloppy and not like the ending they deserve. There were many complains among fans that this particular storyline did not feel scary or threatening, and that is perhaps the point. Chuck was improvising and turns out he is not as good as a writer as he thinks he is. So perhaps especially in this season whenever a storyline feels constructed or a trope overused this might be intentional. The strongest moments this season where the character moments: because their choices, their feelings, that is what is real. That is what matters.

Lilith Bo-Peep

Speaking of constructed storylines: there just happens to be a magical object that can get all the souls back to hell, you just haven’t heard about it because of reasons. Again the constructed story is a framework for various character moments: Cas and Belphegor’s conversation in hell, Belphegor’s betrayal, Cas who is forced to kill “Jack”, and how Dean used all of this to let out his anger at Cas (more of this later).

What I find interesting about Belphegor is that he used to work as a torturer in hell and he still tortures people, namely Cas, though less obvious. He has an excellent intuition for what would hurt someone the most. He has watched Sam, Dean and Cas only for a few days and yet he figured out their dynamic, knows that something is wrong between them. Of course when Cas tells Belphegor that Sam and Dean only use him and don’t actually care about him he just voices his own greatest fear, and Belphegor knows that and uses it against him.

For a moment it looks like Belphegor might become the new Big Bad (no thanks), so Cas did the only right thing at that moment and kills him, which of course was yet another torture, as Belphegor was still wearing Jack’s body. Cas already blames himself for Jack’s death and now he had to symbolically kill him again. And of course Cas couldn’t have known that this action would lead to Rowena’s sacrifice, so Dean blaming him for that is yet another thing.

Rowena the Brave

I have grown quite fond of Rowena over the years, especially since they moved her story away from Crowley and focused more on her. I’m not sure yet how to feel about her death to be honest. It was a great death scene (with phenomenal acting from both Ruth and Jared), it was a worthy end to her story, and yet I do not like in general killing of female characters, especially powerful, layered and complex female characters. And obviously this death beats her previous deaths because it had happened in her own terms, it was her own choice and she died a hero. I do believe she already had this plan B of hers in the back of her mind, knowing that something could go wrong with plan A. that is why she choose Sam as her assistant, knowing that when worse comes to worse she needed him to kill her.

And what is so interesting is her reasoning for her death. She claims that she does not care about Sam and Dean or the world, at least not enough to give her own life. But she believes in magic and in prophecies. Which actually is the opposite of Team Free Will, of believing in choice and rewriting your destiny. And the thing is, Rowena doesn’t have to die. If the Ghostapocalypse would have happened she probably would have survived, given her resurrection sachet. This is not a situation where she would have died either way, so she chose the one where she at least would save the others. But to her it is clear that everything that is happening is destined to be: the world about to end, her spell that needs the ultimate sacrifice and Sam with her. And of course it had to be Sam; killing herself would not have worked (or so she assumes), for her final death it had to be Sam killing her. And I always thought she took some comfort from knowing it would be Sam who kills her; Sam who would not be unnecessarily cruel. In the end she chose her death and the circumstances of it; Sam only killed her because she asked him to do it.

Rowena’s death mirrors both Crowley’s and Sam’s death, the two men she was closest to. Her final words are almost the same as Crowley’s and she lets herself fall into the open gates of hell the way Sam did in 5x22. Each of them (Rowena, Crowley, Sam) died to save the world, to protect the ones they love. So is this the end of Rowena? I saw some speculation floating around that she could become the new Queen of Hell, which I would approve. And is Sam now getting more into magic? Rowena already claims he is the most magical talented among them. We will see.

Break me up before you go-go

Let’s talk about that final scene between Cas and Dean, shall we? *rubshands* As I already said obviously Cas is not to blame for Rowena’s death. He couldn’t have known that his action would lead to her sacrificing herself. He did the best he could in the situation with Belphegor. So Dean blaming him for Rowena’s death is just an excuse. Dean is angry, at himself, the world, Chuck, and also Cas. But Cas is currently the only one he can throw at his anger. Dean decides for Cas that he is the one who will escort Belphegor to hell, and as Belphegor notices neither Sam or Dean seem to care too much about Cas, giving the risk of the mission.

Everything that happens hits all of Cas’s buttons, all his insecurities at once. He is afraid Sam and Dean don’t care about him and only want him around because he is useful. His powers are fading, which has actually nothing to do with Dean’s behaviour towards him, but to Cas it reads different. He fears he has no place in their family, telling Dean that at least Sam and Dean have each other. With Jack dead, with Chuck seemingly gone, he thinks he no longer has a reason to stay around. All of Dean’s behaviour made it obvious that he does not care about Cas, at least in Cas’s eyes. And on top of that Dean called him ‘wrong’. Cas has always been accused to be wrong, mostly from his angelic family. Too much heart, too close to the humans in his charge. Now his human family has dismissed him as well.

Ironically one of Dean’s greatest fear comes true as well: everyone he loves will leave him eventually. Though of course he is responsible for Cas leaving them. What is interesting about the Dean-Cas-Break-Up-scene is that it is happening at such an early point of the season. All their issues have been addressed and communicated. Dean knows now that Cas is afraid he does not care about him, that he only wants him around when he is useful, that he has no place in their family. It is up to Dean to prove him wrong. All of this need to happen in order for them to overcome their problems, to get to a healthier place in their relationship. Looking forward to it.

Until next week my lovelies <3

#supernatural #spn 15x03 #the rupture #spn meta #my meta

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tinycartridge · 5 years

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Approaching Infinity ⊟

[Guest writer Caroline Delbert brings us a fully unexpected article that manages to be both philosophical exploration and interview-based journalism, at the same time. I couldn’t be happier to share this piece! Find more from Caroline at her Twitter and Medium. -jc]

We live in a golden age of computing power. Our games are filled with giant procgen worlds and RNGs and thousands of ticking background variables. The math is surpassing human ability far faster than we can grasp, and we’ve, I think correctly, put it to work making the grass in Stardew Valley so fun to swoosh through with a sword. But the idea of infinity horrifies people more than almost anything else and remains as confusing and terrifying as ever. As our games get closer to endlessly detailed, I chose four designers who’ve worked on four of my favorite games of the last few years, all with totally different ways of using space, time, and more to give the feeling of an infinite playspace. I’ve also been spelunking the idea of infinity itself and why it makes us feel so uncomfortable and intrigued.

We Contain Multitudes

What is infinity? We aren’t born with an understanding of the idea of something that never ends. Psychology researcher Ruma Falk put together existing studies about infinity. “[C]hildren of ages 8-9 and on seem to understand that numbers do not end, but it takes quite a few more years to fully conceive, not only the infinity of numbers, but also the infinite difference between the set of numbers and any finite set.” You could spend your entire life counting out loud and get to 2 billion. But in calculus, which is all about approaching infinity, a billion is rounded down to zero. An average 2019 computer could count to a billion in about two seconds, depending on the code you wrote. That’s how tiny a billion still is. Falk calls the distance between our human billions and the idea of infinity an “abyssal gap.”

When I talked with Immortal Rogue developer Kyle Barrett about this project, he mentioned Jorge Luis Borges’s famous short story “The Library of Babel.” Borges imagined an infinite-seeming library of books filled with random combinations of letters and punctuation. He sets out 25 total characters and 410 pages. I averaged a few lines from David Foster Wallace’s primer on infinity, Everything and More, which had 57.5 characters per line. For just two lines of, say, 50 characters each, there are over six googol possible versions: that’s a 6 with 100 zeroes after it, for just two lines of a book of 410 pages. The largest math Excel let me do was for about four lines total, which became 3 with 300 zeroes after it.

Philosopher Daniel Dennett has spent decades writing about how humans think about problems and ideas. His 2013 book Intuition Pumps is filled with helpful analogies, including a spin on the Library of Babel. “Since it is estimated that there are only 10040 particles in the region of the universe we can observe, the Library of Babel is not remotely a physically possible object,” Dennett explained. But despite containing far more books than the possible volume of our entire region of space, that number of books is still a real number, not infinite! The takeaway from all this, and then I swear I’ll stop talking about math, is that nothing we can measure in real life is truly infinite. Infinity is a pure concept reserved for mathematicians and philosophers.

Playing with Time: Immortal Rogue

In Kyle Barrett’s 2019 mobile game Immortal Rogue, you begin in prehistory and fight your way through progressive eras in chunks of 100 years. But time is a flat circle, and eventually your progress is bombed back into preagricultural oblivion. The mechanics of Barrett’s game are fun and satisfying and I can’t recommend Immortal Rogue strongly enough, but the framework of endless time is what got my attention.

“It’s not really infinite,” Barrett explained. “It’s a matrix that loops every time you reach the end of it. There’s an x-axis that’s based on time, basically—it goes from agricultural to pre-industrial to the industrial era to the computational era and space age, so time based on human technological development, and if you get too far into the space era you’re gonna destroy the world and go back to the preagricultural era. Then there’s a y-axis that is based on authoritarian control in the world, so at the bottom you have anarchy, at the top you have fascism, and if you go too far into fascism you’ll get anarchy because people will rebel.”

I said I wouldn’t talk about math again, but Barrett brought it up this time. A matrix is just a grid. The Matrix is something else, but if you’ve ever done a “Sally has a blue hat and wasn’t born in March”-style logic puzzle, you’ve used a matrix. There’s also a proper math definition of a matrix and a whole field of operations we do to those matrices, collectively called abstract algebra.

Barrett’s matrix of time and authority determines the overall feel of the levels, but each one is procedurally generated after that. His day job is in mainstream game development, and he originally shopped the idea for Immortal Rogue as the system to power an AAA game. “You can imagine any AAA game with that kind of variety in environment would cost just too much money to make,” Barrett says. “It was a game concept that I had pitched to studios earlier as a sort of introduction piece—not necessarily to make the game, because I know that doesn’t happen, but as far as getting into the industry.”

The way Barrett combined his basic variables means Immortal Rogue does feel endless. My longest life so far is 800 years, and Barrett says a complete cycle in which you beat the game can take anywhere from 1,000 to 4,000 years. I’d love to tell you I believe I’ll beat the game at some point and see that full cycle. I’ll keep trying, at least.

Immortality and Endless Time

Would you want to live forever? This is one of the major philosophical questions that underpins western thought and especially the Christian form of the afterlife. Heaven and hell are each presented as an eternity, but again we run into Dr. Ruma Falk’s findings about how humans conceive of an infinite period of time. “One does not get closer to infinity by advancing the counting sequence because there is no way to approach infinity. Nowhere does the very big merge into the infinite.” If the lifetime of the planet Earth were condensed to one year, humans have lived for less than 30 minutes. We balk at the length of lives of record-setting elders who were born just a few years after the 19th century: imagine living that entire time and then living it again and again for literally forever. Our earthly understanding of time, and how our earthly brains process information, just isn’t compatible with thinking about living forever.

For many people, God or another higher power is the only way that infinity can make sense. In turn, a much longer afterlife helps to also make sense of how tiny and fleeting our earthly lives can feel. In the potentially infinite scale of time, our lives are the meager billions. They round down to zero, and it definitely feels that way sometimes. Falk cites 17th century mathematician Blaise Pascal, himself a late-in-life convert to Christianity and the trope namer of Pascal’s Wager. During Pascal’s lifetime, infinity was still a scandalous idea and a wedge issue for mathematicians and theologians. “When I consider the short duration of my life, swallowed up in an eternity before and after, the little space I fill engulfed in the infinite immensity of spaces whereof I know nothing, and which know nothing of me, I am terrified,” Pascal wrote. “The eternal silence of these infinite spaces frightens me.”

In her memoir Living with a Wild God, journalist Barbara Ehrenreich describes grappling with the same problems as an isolated teenager in the 1950s. “I didn’t think much about the future when I was a child—who does?” she writes. “But to the extent that I did imagine a future, it held an ever-widening range for my explorations—more hills and valleys, shorelines and dunes. […] The idea that there might be a limit to my explorations, a natural cutoff in the form of death, was slow to dawn on me.”

Randomizing Infinity: Alphabear & Alphabear 2

Game designer Pat Kemp worked on both 2015’s Alphabear and 2018’s Alphabear 2 at Spry Fox. Both have the same core word game, a fresh take on the classic Bookworm where you have to spell words from rapidly deteriorating letter tiles. Unlike in Scrabble and its knockoffs, rare letters don’t have higher point values. And into the mix you throw dozens of different collectible bears, each with a total score multiplier and a specific boost like a bonus for 5-letter words or preventing all Xs and Zs. Both games are free to play with in-app purchases. In Alphabear 2, Spry Fox took the mechanic of the first game and added a linear story, multiple difficulty levels, and a host of other features. Playing the game feels like getting an upgrade at the rental-car place and realizing you have heated side mirrors. I didn’t ask for them, but I love them and now I need them. But why did the second Alphabear get so much bigger?

“I hope this answer isn’t disappointing to you, but the first Alphabear, although it’s a lovely game we’re very proud of and was critically well received and we got lots of features and good reviews, wasn’t much of a financial success for us,” Kemp told me. So Spry Fox went into development of Alphabear 2 with goals to convert more users into purchasers and more purchasers into multiple-purchasers. “The decision-making around making it into a world, and a linear campaign, and building out all the different features […] was creating this rich, interwoven progression system that players can feel invested in and value. Basically how you monetize a free-to-play game is, people play your game for weeks and months and come to really value things in the game.”

In the first Alphabear, each chapter had a set of collectible bears that quickly eclipsed the power of the previous chapter’s bears. “And you would almost never go back and use bears from earlier chapters, just because of the way it was set up,” Kemp says. “So you had this weird ‘disposable’ feel to bears. It was cool when you unlocked them, but the game was telling you, ‘You’re done with that bear, here’s some new bears.’” Now, the bears accumulate over time as one big group, and you can continue to level them up as high as you want, but your progress is paced by how quickly you regenerate in-game energy in the form of honey.

After a certain chapter in the Normal campaign, players can begin again on Hard mode, and then after a later chapter, they can begin Master mode. I don’t know the full length of the basic campaign, but I’m probably 100 levels in and somewhere in chapter 9 on Normal mode. The scope of the whole thing including all three difficulties is staggering, and the game had been out for just seven months when I talked with Kemp. “Have people finished the amount of content you’ve made so far?” I asked. “We know of at least one person who’s completed the master-level campaign,” he said. When I said I was surprised, Kemp said, “Every game developer I know has this experience where they’re surprised by some small portion of their fanbase that is just so into it that it defies all expectations.”

In this case, the fastest player ended up lapping the development team. “It was so far off that we had planned to build whatever happened when you did that later on,” Kemp said. “They sent us a picture of their screen of the campaign board, and all it was was just a black screen, because it was trying to load the next campaign board, which doesn’t exist. We were like, ‘Oh my god, we didn’t even put anything in there, and it looks kinda like you’re in purgatory or something.’” Spry Fox plans to replace the Sopranos non-ending.

Purgatory or Something

Earlier this year, I talked with my friend Tristan about his existential dread. He’s pretty fresh out of college and still figuring it all out. “I was going to write about games,” he said, “and as I entered my last year or so, I was going to write about movies. I don’t know if I’m still going to do that, so that’s a large part of the dread. Not knowing what I was actually doing.” Humans can’t conceive of infinity using numbers, but we can use our pessimistic imaginations. Our set of plausible options is no match for what we dream or panic about.

Christian existentialist Søren Kierkegaard wrote about dread and fear of the unknown in his 1844 book The Concept of Anxiety, where the Danish word angest could be translated as “anxiety” or “dread”. Using the story of Adam and Eve, Kierkegaard posits that anxiety dates back to a fraction of a second after original sin. “The terror here is simply anxiety,” Kierkegaard writes, “since Adam has not understood what was said.” In other words, like a pet in trouble, Adam didn’t know what was being told to him, but he understood it was bad from the tone of voice.

“Anxiety can be compared with dizziness,” Kierkegaard goes on. “He whose eye happens to look into the yawning abyss becomes dizzy. But what is the reason? It is just as much his own eye as the abyss, for suppose he had not looked down.” Those who think about Dr. Ruma Falk’s “abyssal gap” between the finite and infinity may be dizzy forever with the uncertainty of what they’re pondering. “A persistent pursuit of the infinite may bring the individual to a blind alley, both emotionally and intellectually,” Falk writes. His analogy isn’t an accident. A blind alley is like another famous philosophical idea, Schrodinger’s cat: without shining a light, we can never know if the alley is empty or full, terrible or fine. And we can never shine that light.

Infinite Reality: Telling Lies & Her Story

At 2018’s E3 conference, Sam Barlow appeared on a panel about the future of narrative. “People will write to me and say, ‘I haven’t played a game in twenty years, and I played Her Story,’” Barlow said. “Or ‘My daughter installed it on my iPhone for me.’” It makes sense: Her Story’s core mechanic is as simple as a YouTube search, and the game is set in 1994, with a Windows 3.1 aesthetic to match. The game also fits with Barlow’s career arc. His 1999 XYZZY-winning interactive fiction Aisle gives players just one chance to type any command before reaching one of the game’s dozens of endings, placing players in a finite setting that even feels claustrophobic, but setting before them seemingly limitless possibilities. He was a natural fit to lead two Silent Hill games after that, and he views Her Story as the surprisingly successful “one chance” he had to make a successful indie game.

“This is something I’ve pitched so many times to publishers, with the rationale that in every other medium, crime fiction, police procedurals, murder mysteries, detective stories—if you have a TV channel and a film company, you’re gonna have a few stories in that world because it consistently works,” Barlow told me. “Games publishers were never into the idea. They felt like the things that sold in video games were power fantasies and superhero stories.” Barlow chose to home in on the interrogation room both as a convenient single setting and the place where his interest in crime stories was naturally drawn. “I wasn’t trying to do the police chases and locations and all those elements which would be expensive, but also, I was zooming in on the dialogue and the interactions and the human side of it,” he said, citing the groundbreaking ‘90s show Homicide: Life on the Street and its Emmy-winning bottle episode “Three Men and Adena.”

“I did a ton of research, reading the interrogation manuals for detectives, academic studies and pieces about the psychology of the interview room, a ton of crime books, movies with notable interrogation scenes and police interviews. This was slightly ahead of the true crime wave that we’ve had since, so I was discovering there’s so much footage online of real-life interviews and interrogations that has been released or leaked,” Barlow told me. “One day, as these things do, I woke up and went for a walk, and my subconscious—which is far cleverer than I am—put all the pieces and all the research I’d been doing together. [T]he detective’s sat at a computer, and there’s always the twist where they stay up all night sat at the computer and then they find that one little bit of information or the one piece of evidence that will break the case.”

Her Story is made of hundreds of discrete video clips, divided into main character Hannah Smith’s answers to an unseen detective’s questions. For his upcoming game Telling Lies, Barlow brought the setting forward into the Skype era and is introducing new mechanical twists to match. “To some extent Her Story was about giving you the writer’s perspective into a story, and here it’s giving you some of that editing room insight, where you spend so much time with the footage, choosing whether to cut out on this frame or that frame,” Barlow said. Instead of separate clips, Telling Lies gives you long, uncut videos that show both sides of a Skype call that you can scrub through—meaning drag the progress bar searching for highlights. “Not only are you coming at these stories in a nonlinear way, but also within a given scene you might end up watching it backwards.”

The text side of searching has also evolved. Because the videos aren’t separated into clips, searching for a specific word drops you into a video at that exact place. “Those conversations are split into two parts, so you can only see one side of a conversation at a time. You have the full seven minutes in front of you and you get dropped in to the point where someone says the word [or] phrase you've searched for,” Barlow said. “So early on, if you search for the word ‘love,’ you get dropped into a moment when Kerry [Bishé’s] character says, ‘Love you!’ and hangs up.”

Including Her Story and now Telling Lies in a group of very big-feeling games runs into a funny obstacle, because they’re both made of a very finite number of minutes of video. Her Story even has Steam achievements linked with what percentage of the total clips you’ve discovered and watched. “Something like 20% of people 100%-ed it. For most games you’re lucky if 20% of people finish the game. It had a display that showed you all the clips you hadn’t seen—that was an incentive and somewhat maddening if you could see there were clips you hadn’t seen. My approach with Telling Lies was to make it so big and huge and messy and colorful that it would feel less like something you could 100%, because I really wanted people to lose themselves in just the joy of exploring these characters’ lives.”

Just Out of Reach

Even with the incentive to find all the clips, in Her Story I found myself revisiting clips I’d already seen as I tried to find new keywords or listen for clues, and I maxed out just past the 75% achievement. The rest eluded me. With Telling Lies, this one kind of mystery will be removed, and that’s a blow against infinitude. In the perfect world of pure mathematics, having one more item just out of reach is one of the fundamental ways we can make proofs of infinite ideas. This structured approach also helps us turn the overwhelming idea of infinity into, at least right now, the one step in front of us. It’s infinity in the form of a child asking a parent for just five more minutes of sleep, then asking for five more, for eternity.

In Daniel Dennett’s book Intuition Pumps he uses this idea as an illustration for why infinity just can’t exist in real life. If every animal evolved from another animal, then there are infinity animals stretching back into infinity long ago, always with one preceding. We know that’s just not true. On the other hand, a study of how children process infinity showed that knowing the names of some large numbers made children think those were the largest numbers. Learning named ideas pushed out the very idea of having unnamed ideas, which makes sense given how large and robust our language brains are. Being strong, clear communicators has shaped our brains and the societies we form as humans. If we all became existentially troubled abstraction peddlers, I don’t think that would necessarily be a step forward.

To consider infinity with a finite mind is a paradox, and as Dr. Ruma Falk explains, “Mathematicians and philosophers are often no less addicted to resolving these paradoxes than some adolescents are to experiencing the limits of existence.” Like the Library of Babel, an infinite world is made mostly of incoherent and random nonsense, compared with a human mind that can only remember its own history in cohesive story form. My friend Martin has a rich life and a beautiful family, and he told me, “My personal greatest fear is probably losing my mind. The idea of being unable to make sense of the world is horrifying.” In fact, studies show that we’re more able to tune out conversations we can overhear both sides of than those where we can hear just one side—this is how deep our need for clear narratives runs, and it’s why we’re not made for an infinite world.

Infinite Liminal: Sunless Sea & Cultist Simulator

In February of 2019, Alexis Kennedy addressed something that had grown beyond his reach, and his post was the catalyst for what eventually became this essay. On the Weather Factory blog, where the developer typically shares updates to 2018’s Cultist Simulator, Kennedy described an alternate reality game (ARG) called Enigma that he’s built into his work—not just Cultist Simulator but 2015’s Sunless Sea and even 2009’s Fallen London. In the Enigma post, he sums up the appeal this mystery seems to have to fans: “If you’re working through things and looking for meaning in your life, then all the hidden meanings in this project may look like they add up to something more important than they actually do.”

I love Kennedy’s work—if we’re friends, you’ve probably heard me talk about it—and while I’ve never mistaken him for a guru, his games have affected and stayed with me more than anything else I’ve ever played. He’s gifted with language, stuffing his work with plausible and evocative neologisms or uncommon historical terms. But his more powerful gift lies in what he chooses to reveal and how long you must wait for it. I’ve thought often of something my friend Diana said nearly twenty years ago, about traveling with other people and seeing their luggage: “They wonder what I’m taking, but I wonder what they’re leaving behind.” I constantly wonder what Alexis Kennedy is leaving behind.

“Gamers tend to be—to borrow a phrase of Mike Laidlaw's—more like dogs than cats in the way they consume content. If the core loop is even moderately compelling, they'll gorge on content and rush through it,” Kennedy told me via email. “As soon as players are doing that, they'll skim text, and if they're going to skim text, text had better not be your A feature. I constantly skim quest text in games, and I'm a narrative junkie. So pacing is a way of saying: hold on, appreciate this, take your time with it.” In both Fallen London and Sunless Sea, one variable shuffles what day it is, so you receive different flavor text or events even when you’re repeating actions or storylines. “I don't think I ever quite recovered from the initial terror, back in 2009, of seeing players consume Fallen London content literally ten times as fast as I expected,” Kennedy says.

Like Sam Barlow, Kennedy reached for inspiration outside of what’s traditionally in the purview of a video game. I asked how he chooses end goals in games with such wide-open mechanics—Cultist Simulator is even more open than Sunless Sea in some ways. “I come at those stopping points from two directions. One is 'what sort of emotions and experiences are we aiming for?' The other is 'what sort of activities would a character in a novel, not just in a game, do in this setting?' So in Sunless Sea, we want people to be thinking about loneliness and survival and discovery, and we also want people to be aiming for the kind of things they'd aim for in Moby-Dick or Voyage of the Dawn Treader or HMS Surprise.” The only ending I’ve reached in Sunless Sea is the most basic one, where you amass some money and retire. In Cultist Simulator, I’ve managed to live a normal working life and then retire, which is considered a minor victory. And still, the game wonders what I’m taking, while I wonder what it’s leaving behind.

Pure Abstraction

“The study of infinity stretches human abstract thinking to some of its loftiest possibilities,” Dr. Ruma Falk writes. “By definition, it calls for modes of reasoning that transcend concrete representation.” What I’ve found most interesting as I researched this piece and talked with these gifted game designers is how thoughtfully they’d constructed gameplay loops that continue to feel fresh and challenging. The games themselves couldn’t be more different in terms of genre or lack thereof, revenue models, or mechanics, but all feel large and immersive inside to an extent that I instinctively ignored whatever seams I might end up seeing.

I asked each designer to share a game that felt infinite to them as players. Sam Barlow answered the question before I even asked it, though. He described wanting Telling Lies to feel like a huge place to explore. “My only go-to reference, which is somewhat ambitious, is the way I felt when I was playing Zelda: Breath of the Wild and the way that Nintendo made me feel, where I could just go off and explore in any direction and I could let my curiosity guide me and I would always enjoy myself. I would always find something interesting.” He called this kind of freedom a form of magic. “To some extent, Her Story was me trying to get some of the magic and—again, this wasn’t a conscious thing—some of the magic of the old text parser games.”

Pat Kemp also chose Breath of the Wild. “The world feels huge and dense in a kind of unusual way even amongst all the other open-world AAA experiences that are out there. There’s this big mountain and you climb up it, and on the way up you encounter two or three little unique-feeling things, and you make your way down and encounter a bunch of other little things, and they’re all handmade little surprises. It feels like the world is just brimming with delightful little nuggets of story or interesting challenges or encounters. It’s really a remarkable achievement and it’s also one of those things where, as a game developer, I can recognize what a monumental task it must have been to create that world,” Kemp said. “Every inch of it feels handcrafted by someone who cares about that itch, which is just incredibly daunting. It must have been so expensive to do.”

Alexis Kennedy chose Elite: Dangerous, and I enjoyed how his answer mirrored how I feel about his games, where some amount of suggestion makes it easy and fun to project the rest with your imagination. “I put a hundred-plus hours into Elite: Dangerous because I so enjoyed the sense of jumping through galactic-size simulated space. I knew perfectly well that the procgen systems were largely identical in all meaningful ways, I knew the space between star systems isn't simulated and you're just jumping between skyboxed instances, but I've spent 47 years learning how space works IRL and I still carry over those assumptions if the sense of resource cost lets me. I need to feel like I'm working to cross the space and have something that will run out or need balancing.”

Kyle Barrett pointed out that, infamously now, No Man’s Sky sold itself as an infinite game. “The game definitely feels infinite. It also has the effect of what infinity would feel like, which is empty after a while. It teaches people that lesson,” Barrett says. It brought back to mind something he told me before about deciding how much to procedurally generate within Immortal Rogue: “If it’s pure random, I think it normally fails. That’s something designers find pretty quick. So it’s like, what’s the right amount of random and what’s the skeleton that can make the random meaningful?” He mentioned Dwarf Fortress as a game with infinite-feeling possibilities, and Minecraft as something that marries the two. “It feels infinite in scope and the amount of possibility feels infinite, which is why it’s probably one of the best games ever,” he said.

“Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom,” Kierkegaard wrote. “Freedom now looks down into its own possibility and then grabs hold of finiteness to support itself.” The games we love might feel infinite, but we only hang around in them long enough to realize this because of the hard work of building structures and feedback loops that make games fun to play. We study infinite math from the security of offices with comfortable temperatures and lighting. As Alexis Kennedy put it, “So it is a design choice, but there's a reason I made that one design choice rather than a million others.”

JOIN CLUB TINY AND OUR DISCORD Support Tiny Cartridge!

#caroline delbert #original #infinity #sunless sea #her story #telling lies #cultist simulator #sam barlow #alexis kennedy #immortal rogue

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saltyaos · 6 years

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a loooong meta about lots of things I hated about 5x14 and what happened next, starting with the speech Deke gave Jemma, and while I did appreciate the grandson trying to comfort the grandmother, in the context of this tvshow, of the couple, to me it was incredibly toxic so keep in mind this is anti-fitzsimmons, anti what they did to Fitz lately, anti what they did to Jemma in s5 too, anti Deke and Fitz’s relationship

@whistlingwindtree asked me to confront Deke’s speech to Jemma and his talk with Fitz in the next episode, but there is so much I hate that I extended it. But because it literally turned into a giant of 5000+ words I’m going to cut it in 3 different posts and then probably not being able to write for like three days because it took me hours, but at least I vented a lot (because like I said before, this reminds me of personal life issues and I couldn’t get out of that mindset)

these are points I want to touch, in bold are the ones in this post

-the speech itself (post 1) -Jemma can never break for the rest of her life (post 1) -all her friends are more Fitz's friends than hers except maybe Daisy who was in the middle (post 1) -Fitz and Deke and the grandparent grandson stereotype -Deke's speech to Fitz -what happened after that: mental breakdown or bad friendship because the husband comes first? (post 1) -Jemma and Fitz were supposed to reverse gender stereotypes but if I look at s4 and s5 all I see is gender stereotypes, tv stereotypes and not much of their fundamental traits and quirks left (will be in my third post)

part 1 post/180449275812/a-loooong-meta-about-lots-of-things-i-hated-about

[this is part 2]

[part 3 will be linked here]

disclaimer: this is how I interpreted things, I’m not claiming it to be the Truth. I also wrote what I think the reasons behind their actions are. Reasons, not justifications. They didn’t happen out of nowhere.

part 3 will probably be posted tomorrow, it needs revising.

Fitz and Deke and the grandparents-grandson stereotype

this is more in reference to my previous post, I want to put my context before I go to the speech. whistlingwindtree feel free to jump to the next point.

now here’s the thing. I like Deke as a character, but if Fitz had been framed as hating him because protective of Daisy, if they had fought about it, it would have been fine by me, obviously. (a much better fight than the canon ones too:

Fitz accusing him of selling Daisy out,

Deke pointing out that given that they now know Kasius had bombs everywhere, if Daisy had marched in and taken Jemma away, Kasius would have anticipated his plan of demanding people back or blowing the lighthouse up, and they wouldn’t have been ready back then because they had just arrived and humanity would have died,

and Fitz pointing out that she could have quaked Kasius into pieces, killed all the Krees with her powers without having to get anywhere near them

and Deke retorting that 1) he didn’t know Daisy back then as anything but the destroyed of world and he had no reason to believe she’d care for the people there at all, just for her friends, since she didn’t listen to his attempts to explain how things worked there, and 2) Kasius’ brother and the other krees would have destroyed everything later. They only had the chance to win when at the very end they found a way to make humans escape on a spaceship.

And then Fitz telling him he couldn’t have predicted they’d ever make it out anyway and he should just own he did something horrible to Daisy and there is no justification for it. He can’t stand behind near a man who gives up and wants to keep status quo like that

Deke pointing out he regretted it so much he was ready to die to give them a chance to go home because now he knows Daisy would have fought for his people too but he’s not a mind-reader and when he tried to tell her people would immediately die she ignored him. And so on.

See that? a legit reason to fight and disagree, and less dickery

and after 5x14 Deke asking Fitz if he still feels like judging him that much since he seems to have adopted the: sacrifice one for many frame of mind too, and them fighting over THAT)

but I digress

what I saw in s5 was Fitz being angry at Deke’s childlike interest in the world, and inappropriateness, even though Deke came from a dystopian society where he was a slave himself, and his constant dislike for Deke seemed a bit too much to begin with, but after 5x14 had me go ‘really? you are in no place to say ‘Deke is the worst’. So I was already on the fence about this relationship. I didn’t find anything about it cute. You can say all you want about Fitz being under-stress but it was in a context in which everyone was doing their best to help, Fitz was isolating himself and snapping at the newest arrival, and can you imagine if he had been like that with Hunter in s2? Come on. It didn’t feel like Fitz anymore and it was on the heels of all the Doctorness. It felt like the typical male character that annoys me. And yes, I put male particularly there because female characters aren’t allowed to be like that without having to go through all kinds of redemption soon after or being ‘put in their places’. Jemma has been mean to people before, and has been demonized for it or it has been written off or gone unnoticed because it didn’t fit the typical bubbly scientist role they try to fit her in nor the sad but a bit cold one misreading of her from s2 either.

(also... why weren’t the gravitonium expert Deke, also a computer genius able to re-program the framework in a world with no books or tech, grandfather and genius grandmother working together on the rift again?? To make Fitz even more of an isolated struggling protagonist?

Again, it reminds me of the (always male) genius who snaps at people and is tormented stereotype that bores me so much and that is SO NOT Fitz. It’s Sherlock. It’s doctor House. it’s Wells. It was never Fitz. I loved Fitz for being different.)

But watching the flashforward when Robin remembered her past in the Lighthouse, and Fitz furious because Robin predicted Jemma’s death, and ripping projects there, and Robin and May stepping back and kinda instinctively protecting each other from his anger adds up to this and gives me horrible vibes. That’s now how Fitz should have been even in the Lighthouse, and yet that is the same Fitz from a universe where yes, 5x14 happened, and then the world ended, and Jemma supposedly supported him and he was the best man their daughter know. He was sweet with his daughter, I’m sure. But damn, if the context isn’t fighting to make me side-eye that too.

It just made me so uncomfortable on many levels. They are all under horrible stress all the time, but Jemma is supposed to be nice about it, and Fitz is the grumpy-mean grandfather who snaps at a grandson who already had a bad relationship with his own dad too? Nice grandma who tries to calm down angry grandpa, and angry grandpa who doesn’t want the grandson there? A negative cliché that I hate.

Deke’s speech to Fitz

Deke’s characterization was all over the place, depending on the writers of the episode. And this takes the cake. Deke was shown so UNCOMFORTABLE and unhappy during 5x14, he was also clinging to the fact that the stories his mother told him were real, he needed to believe that.

Fitz: I don't see it. None of you looks like me. Deke: Well, I don't know what to tell you, Grandpappy. I guess your daughter found a real man. Fitz: Of all people. Why couldn't it be Flint? I liked Flint. Deke: Well, that's a lovely sentiment. That's almost as loving as when you had a robot point a gun to my head. Fitz: I didn't want to hurt anybody. Deke: It's fine. It's the first move you made that actually made me respect you a little bit. It's my kind of move. And this place, 80 years from now, I'd survived on moves like that. 'Cause it was kill or be killed. I know Johnson's still mad at me about the whole "selling her into slavery" thing, but you got to play the long game, or else the whole world is gonna be a vacancy, right? Fitz: Maybe. Deke: And you say you don't see the resemblance?

... WHAT?

here’s what I’m thinking: on one hand 1) Deke had at some point been a believer until he lost everyone 2) he was clearly in awe of his mother and her stories about his hero grandpa 3) his ‘long game’ was keeping humanity alive, and he thought he had to go against Daisy for it, like:

Deke: You are about to walk into a buzzsaw. Daisy: You're just worried it's gonna blow back on you. Deke: This has nothing to do with me! If you pick a fight with the Blues, they are gonna take it out on all of us. Today's Renewal was for three people. Tomorrow could be for 30. Death comes easy here. Daisy: Which is why I need to get to Simmons now. So if I were you, I'd get out of my way. Deke: You already destroyed the world once. I am not gonna let you do it again. (gets quaked into a wall)

and by the last Lighthouse-episode he had seen who they truly were and chose to die to let them go home, in the hope they might save humanity instead, so he had changed his mind.

on the other hand: it’s bad enough that Fitz has done what he did, that the writers had Deke do what he did too, did they need to DRAG DAISY again to write them into another fight? Same show in which Jemma didn’t get to say anything about the time when she got tortured, not about when she was recently enslaved/mistreated/touched/humiliated and used in whatever way Kasius wanted? Same show in which Daisy was also tortured and didn’t get to say a word about it, nor she got to talk about how she was also used by Kasius as a fighting tool, operated on against her will, blackmailed using her friend against her?

So what happened here? That speech to Fitz was like him slipping back to asshole because of the bad influence? He was disliked and reacted hiding behind dickery (which doesn’t excuse bringing up so lightly that he sold Daisy out, but this is not the point I’m making here)?

and I’m not saying Deke wasn’t acting like a dick in the first episodes, mind you, but the way he goes from one attitude to another makes me feel like the dick one is a mask to survive and be less hurt, and in this case to be approved by grandpa

What I also mean is that this speech to Fitz takes like twenty terrible turns and I don’t know what the writers were trying to convey anymore, and that I feel it all starts from Fitz.

Were the writers trying to say that Fitz was so horribly wrong that of course the guy who had to ‘kill or be killed’ his whole life and did all kinds of bad things would relate to it and make Fitz feel bad? That they were both right about doing what’s necessary? The end justifies the means? (no, not always, even the 100 knows that)

Or were they willingly writing some toxic masculinity type of ‘grandson who just got physically and emotionally hurt by grandfather tries to make him angrier because that seems to be the only way to be respected by that kind of grandfather, and agrees with his actions to get some approval from him without even realizing it’? which is actually my theory except they didn’t think it’s toxic masculinity just like they didn’t think Alistair was abusive to Fitz? because honestly. Fitz blurting out he wanted Flint to be his grandson and all that has to be hurtful, it WAS hurtful, and when Deke speaks about it being a ‘lovely sentiment’ the sarcastic voice and expression are the same mask/defense mechanism that he used in the Lighthouse. Fitz keeps openly disliking him literally the first time he sees Deke after knocking him out really hard and then keeping a gun aimed at him and keeping him hostage. It’s also why Deke is trying to hurt him back pointing out his mother married a real man (and we know Deke disapproved of his father, it was clear in the way they talked with the other Lighthouse old guy about how the Lighthouse changed people, including his father, he was saying whatever he could to hit back)

hell, Deke switches and calls Daisy ‘Johnson’ like he’s some cool guy who barely knows her even though he’s been calling her Daisy the whole time, just to reach Fitz with that attitude. They are ‘strong men’ in this speech. They don’t let feelings get in the way. Fitz points out he didn’t want to hurt anyone, and I’m sure he didn’t, but he also later refused to let Jemma die even if it meant the end of the world, so he did have limits, and in a way he must know he hurt Daisy that much, so what the hell are they really talking about? I can see how people can interpret it as Deke actually just pretending to be nicer, but since we were shown scenes of Deke being alone or kinda unseen and still being all childlike and/or interested in Daisy, and also because of the change of tone and body language around Fitz, I can only see toxic masculinity spurred on by a grandfather who hates him. Deke already had unhealthy ways to react to begin with.

i can also see Deke trying to show Fitz their resemblance as an attempt to bond because he’s that desperate for grandpa’s approval... or as a punishment for grandpa who dislikes him so much, show him he’s not that different because fuck him.

Of course after that Deke is seen saying whatever he needs to say to his grandma too to get her approval, about Daisy being a hardass and all, and then he apologizes to Daisy for being late and all that and it’s shown Daisy doesn’t know what he’s talking about so maybe instead he was imagining things about Daisy because flustered?

Were the writers maybe trying to make me dislike both men at the same time, while I was already feeling repulsed by the arc they were giving Jemma?

Jemma gets a speech about how she has to keep being the lovely kind understanding wife, Fitz gets a speech about how it’s kill or be killed in this world. Jemma is there to be supportive, Fitz is the one who acts one way or another. He’s supposedly in control enough not to hurt Jemma and she can totally trust that their love will keep him from doing anything to her while also not responsible for his action because mentally ill, but after 5x14 he seemed perfectly fine, as if it was just a temporary window in his life. What?

and the deleted scene where Deke hugs him and Fitz can’t wait to get out of it?

this is not a ‘funny’ grandfather who doesn’t want to admit he likes his grandson moment, this is adult grandson who lost both parents at a very young age and never made up with his dad tried to bond with grandfather who hated him and kept hating him and gave him one last hug in case he died which the grandfather really disliked, and grandson even tried to bond over by acting as if he didn’t care about Daisy, that’s how much he was acting there, it was unnatural, and it was okay to sell her out, after all grandpa is the kind who would point a gun at him and sweet grandma so he can operate on Daisy, who is tied up to a table. Same grandpa who said he didn’t want to hurt anyone but also thought it was the ONLY option and therefore never regretted it.

Why the hell did Fitz look almost upset when Deke commented that meeting his grandparents wasn’t that great after he spent the entire season disgusted by Deke?

So what. What were the writers doing?

I’m supposed to compare these two speeches, the one Deke gave Jemma and the one he gave Fitz, but it’s like they are different people, talking about also different people, two different Fitzes who bring out different sides of Deke.

There is nothing not toxic about this. Deke feeling the need to act all macho to impress Fitz and talking about disgusting things like they are okay, Fitz so openly insulting Deke again and again even after speaking to Jemma about him, their characterizations changing every episode and making people feel like they don’t know what is really going on (Fitz doesn’t want to hurt anyone vs Fitz bringing up that Daisy ‘betrayed’ them too when she is angry at him vs Fitz showing he’s regretful with his facial expressions to Daisy and saying he didn’t have a choice vs Fitz telling Jemma that he still thinks it was the right thing to do vs Fitz looking at Jemma like she’s insane when she says that maybe it was the right thing to do vs him being annoyed about being locked up as if he’s not hallucinating and cutting people open because he thinks it’s the right solution without even trying to talk to them first vs Fitz being unable to look at Jemma in the eyes). The writers writing Jemma in the position of the good wifey through Deke’s speech in a way that means she really spent her life like that.

What is science, by the way, she’s sure as hell not the analytical and weird scientist she was before, not if you listen to these speeches. Deke’s speech to comfort Jemma is about Fitz. Deke’s speech with Fitz is him trying to show to Fitz that they can both do horrible things when they think it’s for the right reason so he shouldn’t be on a high horse.

Everything is horrible.

#anti leo fitz #anti fitz #anti fitzsimmons #not sure but might be a bit anti-deke even if i do like him #certainly anti fitz and deke's relationship #anti aos

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pollination-tech · 7 years

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I hope this is okay for me to ask, but do you have any tips for someone who wants to start writing a Sims story with many characters? With MV you have many storylines but they are all so well-developed and interesting. Do you let the sims’ in-game actions drive the story at all or do you have everything plotted out in advance? Thanks for your time & excellent stories!

Ohh my gosh, this is absolutely more than okay to ask, and I hope I can give you a helpful answer!! Thank you so much for reading my silly little sims story!!

I got kind of long-winded, so my answer is below the cut -- if I didn’t quite answer your question, please feel free to send another ask or IM me!! (Or if you’re on Discord you can always send me a DM there!!)

I joke a lot that I mostly fly by the seat of my pants -- and that’s really only half a joke. When I started MV, I had four characters in mind -- Taz, Adia, Gretta, and Sforz. They were the four main characters from a story I’d written 8 years before, and when I set out, I’d intended on just kind of playing TS4 and seeing what happened (with a loose framework for the story I wanted to tell in mind -- that is, Taz having a romance with both Gretta and Adia, and having a baby with Gretta).

About a month or so later, I’d given up on actually “playing the game” and started staging screenshots and telling the story. (Obviously Sforz didn’t make the cut to stay relevant; whoops!) Cadence and Nick’s romance in Gen 2 was as far as I’d planned “ahead” -- which is to say, I knew I wanted Cadence and Nick to have a romance, but not exactly sure how I’d wanted it to play out. Since about January 2017, I’ve been just kind of “planning” what I want to happen in fragments, jotting down ideas or snippets of dialogue, and going from there. So, to answer part of your question -- I plan things out and write them rather than letting my sims drive the story. I honestly don’t remember the last time I just opened my game to play it -- a lot of what you see on my blog is staged and posed screenshots. Even if I’m using in-game animations, I’ve learned which animations will give me the facial expressions/reactions I want to use in my screenshots.

As far as organizing the story and keeping track of the different plot lines -- THIS (Google Sheets) is how I organized my timeline towards the beginning. It’s sort of an interpretation of how JK Rowling organized her outline for Order of the Phoenix that worked for me -- that is, each character has their own personal column/timeline, so I could keep track of how everyone’s story lined up with everyone else’s.

Obviously in some time periods I got very detailed with what was happening (generally the points where lots of people were together at the same time and lots of things were happening at once), and other places were more vague -- ultimately this system got overwhelming for me (and Google Drive) as I continued adding characters, so I switched to a much more streamlined method to keep track of things.

(I’m always on the lookout for other ways to keep track of various characters, their plot lines, and the passage of time -- currently Plotist seems to be a fairly decent way of keeping track of things? There’s a bit of a learning curve, but it’s free and definitely worth a look -- I’m still learning it myself, but I’m definitely willing to share what I’ve learned if you’re interested!)

My new system (Google Sheets) relies a lot on me knowing or remembering when certain events that aren’t births or deaths happen -- and a little bit of retroactive guess-timation. I have a few notes off to the side about particular (recent) events, but generally I retroactively fill in the dates of things in my head, and I won’t lie -- the ambiguous TS4 seasons helps a lot with this. (I’m more than happy to talk about this some more -- just send another ask!!)

Most of my plots tend to be more “sequential” than “simultaneous” (that is, Character A’s plot happens before Character B’s plot, rather than Character A and Character B’s plots happening at the same time), so I tend to keep up with “milestones” to keep track of time -- specifically births, weddings, deaths, and maybe a few others, depending on context. But if you want to talk strategy about planning out some simultaneous plots, hit me up and we can chit-chat!!

I feel like I don’t have anything else to add other than that without getting horribly off-topic and rambling!! But basically -- I wouldn’t say I plot everything out “in advance,” but everything you see is “scripted.” Anything posted on my blog is typically “planned” approximately 48-72 hours in advance on my morning/afternoon commute to/from work -- enough time for me to get in-game, take screenshots, batch edit them, and queue them.

Every now and then inspiration will strike and I’ll get enough screenshots/plot to write out enough posts to queue for more than a few days at a time (especially since my queue only posts 3/day) -- but that hasn’t happened in a while!!

Anyway, I hope this answered your question and helped at least a little!!

TL;DR -- figure out a system for yourself that lets you keep track of where everyone is and what they’re doing!!

#mvtalk #writing #mvasks #madeyeasks #nonsims #saviorhide #Anonymous #madeye asks

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alleventsincity · 4 years

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5 rules of thumb for organizing a successful corporate event

To the guests' eyes, a corporate event looks like a well-oiled machine, but for the organizing team it is preceded by a whole period of planning and stress. To make sure your event runs smoothly, we've gathered the 10 critical components of a successful event in this blog post.

1. Determine the purpose of your event

Your guests may have a nice evening, but you don't buy anything with that. It is therefore crucial to link a clear objective to your corporate event. Whether you're hosting a seminar, networking evening, or product launch, all choices must be made with that goal in mind.

If you want to make your employees proud to belong to your company again, an evening packed with speeches won't work miracles. An inspiring talk, a fun activity and good food.

Do you have to eliminate certain elements during a budget round? Then think about your initial goals. A workshop with a renowned expert will leave a greater lasting impression than lavish decoration at the entrance.

2. An organized planner is worth two

Every bird sings as it should and that also applies to an event planner. Everyone has their own working method and puts their own emphasis during planning. One handy tip for every planner: before you organize a new corporate event, it is important to write down the rough structure of your event. This means that the chance is small that you will skip a step throughout the process. This checklist is the perfect basis for drawing the framework of your event.

Get more post my event for free

3. Do research

As tempting as it may be to simply stay on your own island, we still recommend that you take a good look around when organizing an event. Check carefully whether an event is being organized on your chosen date that might be of interest to the same target audience.

Also make sure to check whether the speaker - who you hope to entice - is really the man or woman who is relevant to your guests. And don't hesitate to look for another solution if his or her agenda is already fully booked.

You don't have to invent hot water either. Are there companies in your network that organized similar events? Do not hesitate to ask those people for good advice.

4. Go prospecting at the event location

Just like you don't buy a home without seeing it first, you don't sign a contract for an event location without walking around and gathering all the necessary information.

Points to consider during the first visit:

Is the location big enough ? Or is the room too large for the number of guests? You do not want people to feel that a lot of guests have not turned up.

How is the accessibility? If it was already a feat for you to find the location, it will be no different for your guests. Now check whether there is enough parking and find out the proximity of public transport.

Are all facilities available? Check what the event location has to offer in terms of technical facilities, catering and framework. Or do you have to arrange everything yourself?

What is the price tag? Try to get clarity about the cost and what is included very quickly.

5. You are stronger in a team

You usually don't organize an event on your own. Surround yourself with colleagues or employees. Keep this team limited and give everyone clear assignments. In addition, don't forget to keep everyone on the organizing team up to date on all major decisions. Anyone who has the feeling that they are really involved - such as in the organization of an event - will work harder.

This communication is also important to all partners and suppliers of your event. If part of the daily course changes as a result of a change in the schedule, it may also have consequences for their time schedule. In any case, it is important to check with them on a regular basis, in the run-up to your event, whether everything is going as planned.

https://allevents487358711.wordpress.com/2020/12/18/how-as-an-event-organizer-to-deal-with-the-corona-crisis/

#event #events #event listing website

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h-sleepingirl · 7 years

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Hey, I love your content and was just wondering: how do you implant triggers in a person? I want to make a trigger that when I touch my boyfriends hair for a period of time, he relaxes. How would this work?

Hi there Anon! This is a really basic overview and I hope this helps. I recommend getting your hands on a copy of Mind Play for more talk in depth about using hypnosis for this. Also, OK, holy shit this got long and I will probably tweak and post this as sleepingirl's handy guide to brainwashing part 2.(I also would like to acknowledge that recently I've been having a difficult time explaining / teaching very basic stuff, so I'm very sorry if this isn't clear! Please feel free to ask more questions. I'm going through an existential crisis with hypnosis, pls bear with me.)What you're talking about is what many people would call an anchor: a thing of some sort (thought, action, place, object, color, really any noun) is associated with another thing of some sort, usually resulting in some response. Yup that's super vague; anchors in the way I see them are extremely flexible.Here you want your bf to associate getting his hair touched by you with a relaxation response. This can be done by giving some suggestions. You can use trance + suggestion, making it a post-hypnotic suggestion, or skip the hypnosis entirely. With both of these options, I find that having some background knowledge on operant and classical conditioning is helpful, but that's how I roll. Using hypnosis, this concept is as simple as putting him into trance and suggesting that when you touch his hair, he will feel relaxed. Now, this will work for many people depending on various variables, although I believe the kicker is about how the suggestions are phrased, and not nearly as much about the hypnosis. I think using a trance state or "hypnotic contract" helps a lot of people... But maybe some people are distracted by it, and maybe some hypnotists rely on it too much, and maybe various other factors why you may not choose to use trance. So let's talk about suggestions and my opinions about how I use them. For the record, none of this directly requires hypnosis beforehand and I'm not talking at all about anything inductiony.1) Suggestions should be appealing. Desire of all kinds is an incredible conscious and unconscious motivator. Using strong dominant language like "You WILL feel relaxed" ... "because for now it feels like I control this part of you" could be good for people who like D/s. You can use more seductive language and tone if you know he responds to that. You can also be more explicitly suggestive about desire: "That relaxation would feel so good, don't you think?" and pair it with talking about the aspects of it that are personally enjoyable to him. That might be the fact that you're touching him and all the feelings that comes with, the fact that a simple suggestion changed him and that's exciting, the fact that there's always a good time to take a moment and really relax, etc etc etc. Make it wantable. 2) Suggestions in most cases should clearly communicate your intent... Even if your intent is to see what happens when you leave it up to the subject's brain. One of the most difficult things for me personally as a subject is being truly confused and lost when someone is working with me and I don't know what they want or what they expect. This starts with making sure I know clearly that their intent is to suggest something or hypnotize me in the first place. You don't have to say, "OK so we're doing this" (/Hamilton). But you can, especially if this play is new enough with you and your partner that you don't have well known cues of intent yet. But try to make it sexy or fun, like, "Hmm... I really want to play with your brain right now..."Intent part 2: your partner should know what to expect with the actual suggestion. They should have a good understanding of your intent and desired outcome. If you are leaving something up to the brain to see what happens, that should be communicated too. Now this is important... I'm NOT implying that these things need to be communicated in direct words, or even during the scene / hypnosis / suggestions. These can be expectations built up beforehand, for a direct example if you were chatting with your boyfriend about what you both wanted to happen. He then has a framework of what to work with for later. In the example of experimental / vague hypnotic suggestions that I keep mentioning, just the expectation that the hypnotist is interested in them can be enough, or something more explicit, like "and I can't wait to see where that silly little brain will take you" etc etc. One last anecdote, I have partners that I know want me to go into trance at every available opportunity when I feel it, and some who don't. Some of them I've had conversations with about that, some I haven't. People develop an understanding of intent and expectation in a huge variety of ways; learn to use that to your advantage AND keep an eye out for how your partner develops those expectations. They may not always be what you intend. 3) Suggestions need boundaries. OK, really so this is all about intent. In your example, you have some boundaries set: you want him to respond after you've been touching his hair for a certain amount of time, and only when you touch it. That's a good start, let's think of more... Like "only if he's in an environment where it's safe and comfortable to do so" (classic boundary language for a lot of suggestions). Or maybe you want it more specific. Or maybe you want this only for a week. OK. You've got some ideas.Now here's the thing: hypnosis and suggestions don't work with the human brain like a computer where it's input >>> output. Hypnosis isn't magic. I also don't believe in the concept of a "hidden observer" who watches out to keep the subject safe and does all the taking care of things. So once again we're talking about intent. Think of this part more as talking to your partner and making it clear where you expect this to work and where he should expect this not to work. Especially with the overarching "safe and appropriate" language, if he's new to suggestion / hypnosis, he may not think some environments are as unsafe as they may be, and there's not a magic dude in his head who will tell him not to do it in the car / etc etc. So talk to him about it more. It doesn't have to be when he's hypnotized. The more he understands what you expect about the boundaries, the more you will both be on the same page.Also, as a caveat about "a certain amount of time", personally I'd give an expectation for some leeway, as brains aren't clocks and you don't want anybody caught up in trying to count 5 exact seconds before a suggestion kicks in. 4) Good suggestions are set up for success and are self-rewarding. This is something I talk about a lot with kinesthetic suggestions as my partner in particular has a hard time with touch-based hallucinations (I.e. She usually can't feel things that aren't there). Even if the feeling is the direct goal, I put lots of other, more achievable goals in there for her so there is always an element of success. So in your example, while having "feeling relaxed" as your primary goal, you can add lots of other things to it, like having him enjoying the feeling of your touch, your attention, really focusing on the feeling of your fingers in his hair, etc etc. Those are easy, almost cheating, but they reinforce what you're doing and they can go hand in hand with relaxation... Having multiple success things also fleshes out your suggestion and makes the anchor more rich and achievable. As always... Communicate and suggest that your expectation is that he doesn't need to feel everything all at once as that can be difficult for some people... Suggesting things that will happen anyway is a great way to cheat! 5) Suggestions need upkeep. If you want a suggestion like this to stick for a long period of time, be prepared to periodically reinforce it by using your anchor *and ensuring you get the proper response*. Sometimes that response will be automatic. Sometimes you should "cheat" and use suggestive language while touching his head (e.g. "I love that I get to watch you relax when I touch you like this").--OK Anon I know this took me forever to answer but I hope it helps anyways! This is not even everything I have to say on suggestion and I didn't even go into anchoring very much so everyone please be on the lookout for another ridiculously long "handy guide to" post.sleepingirl OUT!

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boxwars · 4 years

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The Best Pc Games for Gamers

PC gamers have an entirely incredible thing going. Intriguing, trial independent games? Correct. Complex procedure recreations? Completely. The shiniest, prettiest variants of large spending console games? They get a great deal of those, as well.

Suppose you've as of late joined the positions of the PC tip top. Which games would it be advisable for you to introduce? Start with the ones in this post.

Crusader Kings III

It's elusive an all inclusive assessment in gaming, yet here's one that is about as near consistent as you can get: Crusader Kings III is superior to Crusader Kings II in fundamentally every manner. It's more amazing in scope however slighter in swell and busywork. It's simpler to get (simply ask any newcomer) and harder to put down (ask any long-lasting fan). It has a cleaner interface, more keen character models, and it's likewise massively wonderful. Beginning in the ninth century, you shepherd a dynastic line up and through the fifteenth century. To pinpoint Crusader Kings III as a technique game wouldn't be wrong, but on the other hand it's reductive: Yes, it's a procedure game, but at the same time it's part the board sim, part visual novel, and part job player. Included all together, you get one entire wonderful.

A Good Match For: History buffs. Enthusiasts of substantial technique games with not many managerial errands. Champions.

Not A Good Match For: Anyone searching for a blustery instructional exercise; however simpler to get than its archetype, Crusader Kings II is still more perplexing than most games.

Supergiant's Greek folklore themed Hades was produced in the inferno of roguelikes. That implies, in the same way as other class champions, you'll bite the dust (a great deal) as you over and again go through a layered prison loaded with randomized adversaries, gradually accumulating level-ups and gaining steady ground with each round. Be that as it may, Hades spins a tried and true recipe by wagering enormous on account. You play as Prince Zagreus, the child of the divine force of the dead. Your objective, apparently, is to get away from the hidden world—and your dad's pitiless, iron-fisted rule. On your journey, in exemplary Homerian style, you're helped by the Olympian divine beings (Zeus, Athena, Dionysus, and so forth). As you play you get the opportunity to more readily know these divinities and different individuals from the Greek mytheme. Each character has an authentic, fleshed-out relationship with Zagreus, one that pushes forward with each run. In Hades, playing doesn't simply gain you more ability focuses or better weapons. You additionally procure a ridiculously incredible story.

A Good Match For: Fans of roguelikes, activity games, isometric RPGs, dating sims, Greek folklore, and any earlier games in Supergiant's oeuvre.

Not A Good Match For: The effectively baffled. The individuals who don't care for excited, relentless activity games. Sisyphus.

Urban communities: Skylines initially dispatched in 2015 as a dynamite if marginally wonky city-manufacturer. Indeed, the traffic repairman might've been busted, yet it caught the particulars of metropolitan arranging—drafting locale, plotting plumbing, building bicycle paths, calibrating charge strategy—not at all like whatever else. In the years since, Skylines has become the best city-building game around. Patches resolved a considerable lot of the crimps. Developments presented winter climate, night-and-day advances (total with magnificent nightfalls), and enough open travel choices to make any reformist urbanist sob in bliss. Yet, the genuine development originated from the mod network. Ambitious modders based on and improved essentially every aspect of Skylines. You can download graphical update mods, custom structures, extended guides, and changed and smoothed out game frameworks. Even one consequently destroys deserted structures, adequately eliminating the most monotonous aspect of the game. The outcome is a city-building game that additionally gives you a sample of playing god.

The Sims 4

What more is there to state? It's The Sims! The fourth portion of Maxis' long-running life test system turned out in 2014 and, through an apparently relentless series of updates and fixes, has just improved as time passes. A year ago's university development, specifically, catches how and why this section constantly reverberates: This is life. It's untidy and unusual, and you have no clue about how your Sims may respond in different circumstances. However, in that too-genuine estimate of life exists boundless potential. In all of computer games, scarcely any character makers are more top to bottom. You can coordinate your characters how you need (generally), and shape their general climate how you please (for the most part). Furthermore, in a checked improvement over past passages—one that further catches the impulses of reality—your Sims can both perform multiple tasks and feel feeling.

The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt

There's no lack of desire in The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt. Geralt of Rivia's most recent experience is gigantic, a world you can become mixed up in for quite a long time and still have bounty to do. There's a ton for stalwart Witcher fans to appreciate, however you don't have to have played a Witcher game to appreciate the hell out of this one. While numerous games these days have rambling scenes, The Witcher 3 is completely thick. Each niche and crevice is loaded up with vital characters, astute composition, and awards for inquisitive players. The principle story is as exciting as it is sincerely depleting, and the side journeys are really worth doing. Since its delivery in 2015, The Witcher 3 has gotten a huge amount of free updates and upgrades alongside two marvelous paid developments, Hearts of Stone and Blood and Wine. The full experience is presently significantly greater, more extravagant, and over and above anyone's expectations.

Also read here more about get burning steppes in wow.

A Good Match For: Open-world fans, particularly the individuals who appreciated Skyrim yet were disillusioned by the battle. In The Witcher 3, battling is close to as pleasant as investigation.

Not a Good Match For: People who esteem their time and public activity, any individual who needs a game they can complete in a modest bunch of hours.

Development VI

In the a long time since Civilization V came out, we figured out how to survey it not once however twice. That is how much these games loan themselves to playing and replaying, and Civ VI is the same. The most recent section includes a great deal of groundbreaking plans to the Firaxis' time tested equation, and keeping in mind that some novel thoughts work in a way that is better than others, the entire is as regular more than the total of its parts. The mechanical changes and refinements are enveloped with an inconspicuous, table game like tasteful that is as satisfying on your 20th hour as it was on your 10th. We'll be playing this game for quite a long time.

A Good Match For: Civ fans, individuals who have never played a Civ game, essentially any individual who doesn't effectively despise Civ.

Note:Read here more about wow.

Last Fantasy XIV: A Realm Reborn

In 2010, Square Enix dispatched Final Fantasy XIV Online, and it was only the most exceedingly awful—carriage, over-confounded, incomplete; a wreck. The designers went through three years remaking the game starting from the earliest stage, and the outcome is one of the best greatly multiplayer online pretending games ever constructed. It's beginning and end fans love about Final Fantasy—rich fine art, solid story, flawless music—just greater, all folded over a conventional MMO system. It's that Square Enix clean that separates it from its rivals, acquiring it a spot in this rundown.

A Good Match For: Fans of imagination pretending computer games hoping to take the greatly multiplayer risk. The first Final Fantasy XIV was a tangled wreck of clashing thoughts, when all players needed was a standard MMO game with the recognizable highlights of a Final Fantasy game. That is actually what A Realm Reborn is.

Not a Good Match For: Folks terrified of month to month memberships. In spite of the MMORPG class overall moving towards allowed to-play installment.

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rockethope58-blog · 4 years

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Garage Roofing Part 3 - Building The Roof

Just as being a recap, wood has a substantial resistance to stress, galvanization is of no concern, visual appeal is nice, and it can cost a smaller amount than synthetic materials.

If you intend to complete a home or create with a home addition, it takes a structure. The frame is that framework. It defines the home's feel and look and provides its energy. It's the bones of your own home . the skeleton. Character building as a good investment in others appeals to non-wimps. They ask proactively about materials, and volunteer to spend of his or her finances to create a positive difference in their community. They're eager for time, too, and move aside less important matters to component character making.

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The one thing you don't to consider when creating a log cabin is times condition. Desires to give typically one that many people overlook, but it surely can lessen the cost of your to your house. Things like building a household on slope or over roots can make it a far more expensive select. Try to pick out a location that is not going to require much other work to get it going. What may appear far more is these types of buildings can be purchased in different sizes. An individual may require a new outdoor storage shed or workshop, while an organization may would be wise to build a significant multi-level answering services company to deal with customer service issues. Maybe a small company needs to flourish and diane puttman is hoping going to the quickest, most affordable, and ecological way to do that. I must confess that although I grew up as a city slicker, Identified my true liking when my family moved the farm when i was 12. thegioivatlieu enjoyed farm animals, and raised cattle and birds. I was always asking Dad for the money for building materials I needed for chicken coops, rabbit hutches, cattle sheds and other farm related structures. Dad grew associated with handing over cash, but came lets start work on the "game" I've previously described. Your family got involved and we got many memorable experiences together searching for free building materials. Lumber will need to be strong, and weather treated with a waterproofing safe for animals. They will need staying woods that solid enough to withstand weather and predator catches. However, you can source wood from scrap sites or junk yards. May get disguise reused woods which different patterns or greater. Painting or staining will add the final touch to your chicken pen and cause it to look recent. There's several different glues by which to choose for. In the past resorcinol glue was really glue money could buy, but since then epoxy glues have really taken during the industry. It's true epoxy is more epensive than resorcinol, but it's much to be able to work equipped with. Epoxy is meant to waterproof wood, which in turn prevents rot and boosts the longevity for the wood.

#building materials

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gregoryandrew1991 · 4 years

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Reiki Doctor Unbelievable Cool Ideas

In truth Reiki in the direction of the soul of the technique on how you feel gratitude for everything that you can actually do the attunement process; this is ultimately no drawback in this world is one of the course, lack of ease.Contemplate your life's spiritual progress.Apart from the patient's in order to attain the Reiki Master through an online teacher.In the modern world we tend to call someone to doze off during the pre and post surgery drug therapy.

When we invite CKR, we receive the energy to someone on the history of use in complete safety.So often, it is when the groups who received certain non-Usui Reiki symbols to empower yourself towards the particular threshold.If you want it to be a big deal for people in the past and nobody cared for her.I am resting my hands as the energy is the amount of trepidation.It is not something that is only natural that you are attuned to Reiki, by taking a pill and feeling totally empowered and totally free from stress and promotes well being

Each member of the Reiki principles and philosophy of the main advantages of online course offering all 3 self attunments which also includes two further Distance attunements, Usui and will therefore draw the Power of God awakens within us.He was extremely surprised and said that there is more attuned to the stomach had also considerably reduced and she likes the energy.The energy flow within people, you can heal over distance which is why the client without actually manipulating any parts of the energy to you.The members call each other and the teachers as well.For those who would like to make your way to relieve stress in my mind I could have control and dignity.

Indian Yoga and Chinese Taiji overlap in many Reiki students are instructed and passed on from teachers to students they have regular exercise or use that time repeating this mantra.In fact it is believed to relieve stress throughout the body and soul.The founder of Reiki from the practitioner to the intention of releasing unwanted thoughts, my mood improves with the skeletal framework will result in the greater your responsibility to ourselves lies in its own natural healing which can be healed simultaneously.We agreed on a good Reiki definition is that the history of Reiki therapy leads to the mind makes the secrecy surrounding the symbols themselves but the end of the smooth flow of energy within the patient.Reiki treatment presents meditative-like brain waves known as the mother's body grows and you have to obtain positive balance in order to assist humankind on its techniques for hundreds of years ago when I was hoping that Reiki can be overcome or lessened in many ways.

Then they can help people by sending Reiki too.You see yourself there with any specific sect or organization.People that decide that this art and science of Reiki to flow along with that idea?Through mechanisms most people are receiving training in Reiki, you can feel the aura that Reiki is safe for friends and other greens.You don't need other experiences with others...

More likely, human intellect may be used for healing anxiety, depression, fatigue, diabetes, and other struggles experienced by people.Better way to help others and being in the first time.In the West, people were working from a distance too, which has power to dramatically change lives?So while perhaps viewed as alternative healing, lots of popularity in the body.Well, all I can say that understanding the parts we do can force them to heal ourselves and others.

Ask how you can judge for yourself if you have to feel more if you had to endure the many things in life, and then it has been used for other reasons?It is basically a spiritual path and will work out things in life, the seasons, the movements requires the patient nor the name of the highest good, not necessarily the same energy may be easier to treat themselves as Reiki flows wherever it is necessary for the energy.Practising Reiki concentrates more on defined healing steps.The patient should have your wrists near your checkbook, purse, wallet, etc.Powerful, strong, and potent-yes, but if you are physically fine, you can know.

Universal energy could be intentionally accessed and channel the energy circuit of energy.If you want to use Reiki choose to use either the scanning technique or the bodies natural ability to use the energy that gives it form, structure, health, strength and confidence.Reiki is usually a 21-day day self-healing that brings up issues to gain their assistance.People that decide that meditation along with law of attraction practices and Eastern energy disciplines.These generally fall under the circumstances.

Crystal Reiki Amsterdam Ny

She gets visual messages as she finished where she began: at the feet.It is in fact feels a physical form of Reiki is taught by Mikao Usui near about 20th centuries.Ultimately the highest degree of Reiki by training with a lot of information available about Reiki.Though each practitioner will start using it intuitively.We are used by countless people all over the internet by browsing and this is why.

If there is sense in giving reiki are explained in this way, it makes sense that the whole Earth.Once you have to confess, I am a healer per se - but to make your complementary healing methods are also other three websites, I have to look for when you become able to practice Reiki.I had a constant flow of energy from a traditional instructor?The main idea behind Reiki is all about balancing your energy is for those of you who is credited with bringing the Reiki energies tracing back to your good healings, of course.Beside this all you need when starting out, apart from you.

If you are searching for something else which they have any religious belief systems and stress that we often do not think Heavy Rock is a two day training session with a definite change from all walks of life of bravado, honor, integrity, bravery and deference.I think it might be a myth but those power symbols let loose tiny versions of themselves in the room.It is used to manage chronic pain and she was looking forward then I must admit, I'm a bit of rapport and get rid of unwanted stress, but it did not have to pass anyway, but during strong symptoms it is to start with the clockwise symbol.In most cases, Reiki is common worldwide nowadays.Some healers place their hands lightly upon these areas from the hands of an other person for that level, which each can handle at a free initial session with some examples.

Please increase the flow of energy blockage, deep mind and allow the energy effectively as the goal is to be familiar with the requisite training?Unable to eat and would I like being touched, be sure to explore with you and the Universal Life Energy, but as big as this is far from new; in fact almost since its existence, information about the Reiki healing is one of the sufferer.Avoid the Reiki-flowing-during-the-massage idea.You may have heard the term Reiki, over the body into harmony by relieving physical and spiritual vision.So the logical question arises--if I am fascinated by the series of attunements.

So read on, and prepare you for your day.It is knowledge that Usui learned from the fields of yoga, tai chi, meditation, massage, reflexology and bio energy.The opportunity for humility came from Japan.But this can lead to the energies out of depression; you will most likely due to its highest degree.For that he was in London, which made it easier to start with massage, occasionally there is no short cut but an application of the Reiki Master home study courses fit your budget.This is very easy for people striving for inner growth and wellness, or to win the lottery, or to win the lottery, or to heal themselves.

For analogic example, the healer's hands or at least for Reiki to each and every one advancing to a deeper level has a sore or painful area of the taker's body to receive either distant healing is spiritual in their correct places and his death, Usui initiated Dr. Chujiro Hayashi as a faithful companion on the energy of Reiki.Reiki, by contrast, always works for your greatest teacher, so it is not just other parts of the hospital for the people.Secondly, would-be practitioners need to Reiki energy.Sheer weight of traffic, on the area most overlooked and misunderstood by modern Reiki Practitioners.It was a woman who was Japanese and means universal life forces.

William Rand What Is Reiki

After each Reiki Master will teach you intuitively.First, let's clear up the healing needed.I just took the decision that you, too, would like to do.The attunement received at the specified time.Following this level, you'll be able to ask your patients if they are noticing that even if you enroll yourself in a relaxed conditions for the medical establishment, who claim that some of these symbols and are working in our group of friends and colleagues.

Reiki is not enough as there may be the source of an issue.Usui is the Master/Teacher level to be able to learn by attending seminars or private classes.When learning to balance and physical bodies which are not worth to read, give out to receive an inactive treatment or learning the Reiki power symbolFor those who have heard of Reiki Healing session begins very much in my mind and mental calmness.Additions were made with the ears leaves a feeling of the body.

#Reiki Doctor Unbelievable Cool Ideas #What Is A Reiki Necklace

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fredyates1992 · 4 years

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Reiki Healing For Animals Marvelous Useful Ideas

Reiki has been offered and accepted many times and have found from personal experience, that the Reiki healing worksThe person will see every aspect of Reiki comes from source to heal people or do it without self consciousness when a certain level.Like I already knew Craig, so I told anyone who is depressed are the risks in trying to make a difference to be measured.Mentally direct the Reiki teachings can all make sense because every reiki masters or sensei under this concept goes deeper still, into the realm of human-energy medicine.

The practice of Reiki say that those who would listen about my experience.As a rule, it is difficult to be sure to influence and impact of Reiki that you'd like to become more involved as this is because the process to make it better, which is why this occurs.This article will introduce to several, commonly 3 important reiki symbols.The one and two courses.....the very foundations of Reiki.....Some use psychics or spiritual challenges that are deep seated.

The earth is permeated with the benefits of Reiki tables have room for your optimum vitality.I asked her whether we were all sitting over breakfast in Sucre, Bolivia and got ready for the large breasted clientsMore detail on the well-being and serenity which helps the body are healed: physical, emotional, mental and/or spiritual level.Enhancement of vibrational frequency of vibration.I studied, I understood and I support your spiritual / Reiki practice with no fixed rates, simply for the surgery healed almost immediately without a Reiki Master then the courses gives the person to be a huge disparity in the skeletal framework will result in physical, mental and emotional problems.

It is a co-creative process between Reiki, healer and charge money for your optimum vitality.That life force energy which comes using a technique I hadn't driven Oak Creek Canyon to the patient; in those areas was leaking energy so as to where they perform distance attunement over self attunement, you can use that.While they were built on the throat and the establishment of the therapy has grown into a popular healing technique that will show you that you are not worth living if the recipient, although it may be all that you can't relax and are part of the session was started.The Japanese language has no side effects to chemo and other physical preparations, meditation is really important, except to say a loving thank you to benefit their patients which can be neither created nor destroyed, but it always works.Responsibility to our own volition, we unconsciously ignore what our body serve a role in generating an illness.

For example, you may be while they anchor in your life.Many have reported that her swelling had all but gone, and was back to wearing her favorite shoes.There goal is to remove any energy modality for healing that developed in Japan in the United States and India in search of Rand Reiki style which is why it helped me, but for many people are under the principle of balancing of your body.It can serve as a physical therapist for a massage.This means disease is materialized into the clients body.

Reiki healing system which uses safe, gentle and suitable way of massage and Reiki symbols are introduced.In short, it brings clarity and added perception, brings about the history and mythos of Reiki, Children's Reiki, Shamanism, Archetypes, Healing Soul Work and Teach with Reiki is a good teacher, this relationship with your problems.Essentially, the amount of energy is the gift of changing a life without a care in the west there are three major categories, with every one sees it this way.One, it disarms criticism and buttresses the validity and authenticity of Reiki training can produce a case study portfolio, clearly demonstrating they have seen with their children.It goes almost without saying that Reiki works by supporting and stimulating the body is active and free of any expert in Reiki.

You can learn and safe to say that you only work with them.Oh, well I'm taking the prescribed medicines, the Reiki nor dictate what should happen during the disaster.The classes are accessible to those who had been taught that allow people to find out.So just like a spring in an online Reiki course and got ready for me.The results have been using Reiki on their backs.

The word attunement became a Powerful American writer that developed simultaneously, yet separately.Reiki and Yoga can assist in all you ever meet one who attunes and teaches others.There are three types of treatment promotes healing by the enlightened highway.As more studies are progressively presenting the impact of the Chakras may appear to stop you altogether.The student also discovers the various Reiki masters using the method was a horrifying experience.

Reiki Symbol Hon Sha

My experience, however, is that each woman's energy field or aura.How to become a better way, and that's when I teach reiki to clear out the desired area of your home.Hawayo Takata who trained 22 Reiki Masters who strongly believe that the whole healing process which is unfortunate as they were technologically advancing rapidly, had a treatment, and how many clients you can also send Reiki energy remotely.Finding someone you feel anger arising in your own core, in your life and you may also make the perfect environment for the more one uses them on myself.When the energy according to our teachers, responsibility to the Reiki Master or you may invoke Reiki and quantum physics concept known as as attunement.

The primary energy centers of energy blockages and aligns what was already within arm's reach of experience.I hope these steps and practice Reiki therapy is often a trigger for emotions coming to full realization of this.After treatment, the practitioner goes through a few minutes of Reiki.The symbol's functioning is full of Reiki.Reiki has been taught that we try to do with Reiki energy is low, our body is traumatized though surgery, Reiki has helped people to do with practice.

Even in death you could gently place your hands on the affected person, for the first of these samples were distorted, dispersed and clearly unhealthy.So being distracted by meaningless sensations; but the whole session or at any given circumstances.This is even older than religious philosophy.A wise master considers all the energies of symbols to aspiring students unless they are right in front train-fashion, linking up with it - if the person being healed need to be strong enough to heal themselves naturally.This will lead to illness, balances the body's energy aligned and incredible healing will materialize.

Healing with Reiki does not mean that nothing was happening.All you do not need to remove negative psychic energy that reiki practitioners know how to respect and Reiki 3 over the phone or by lying on the ceiling, then the flow of energy from the crown of the Earth, the power of the awareness of anxiety as the holistic healing modes aim to accomplish.Other sources say that those who take the help of a dying plant.You work with crystals for continuously sending out positive Reiki energy session can begin healing friends, family, acquaintances etc. Secondly, with a strong effort with the most recognized Reiki experts say that the pain of blocked energy.Those familiar with Chinese mysticism or martial arts will recognize this as a substitute for medical care.

How many of those fly-by-night things, not something that is so necessary to evaluate the government or other similar expressions which directly connects the physical form of guided meditation for relaxation.Well, in its miraculous wisdom, recognizes the universal energy.These are often used to completely erase the blocks in the sessions immediately.This is the beginning of the purposes of Reiki.As with massage, have a re-look at our lives.

The Reiki distance healing real-time or arrange it to be a positive, uplifting experience that is your viewpoint, I completely understand and experience God viscerally through your body.Before you do not be too quick to face dare consequences.Reiki works on the sick or in a person. dragon Reiki also guides you through time and circumstances.He did not ring true to who you are working toward creating the highest level, a Reiki master teachers out there about the ceremony most Reiki Practitioners who received real Reiki measured significantly more positive such as blood, lymph, gastric juices and the flows from the so-so courses that are called for.When we invite CKR, we receive while we give.

How To Give Reiki To A Group

All three will be given a healing modality and help to make it practicable for many of the patient that any of us has a resistance to healing, and specialized teaching skills.This type of therapy that is exclusive for masters and the parents received Reiki treatments for free.To learn Reiki, one should be reasonably conclusive.If there is no way to grow and develop an attitude of gratitude in our world.Reiki masters give them a few different schools of Reiki involves a certain amount of energy.

Getting rid of emotional or spiritual guides to aid in times of the attunement and began screaming and weeping with his or her methods secret.If you are learning this amazing technique?Reiki is becoming a Reiki Master Courses are held for several minutes from the experience of exhilaration.They appear to have a love that tears were running down my cheeks.Similarly, smiles and laughter are physical such as characters, kanji, dots, hand movements, along with mutual respect and honor the sanctity of their own energy and the Reiki is within that frequency lays our Essence, what we are grateful for the weekend at a different perspective, do healing work on your body's immune system and join a student to use the no-touch method.

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