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#how 2 b alive
fursasaida · 1 year
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there's a particular satisfaction in finding a good use for whatever's around you, rather than just getting the purpose-built thing. enrichment in the enclosure. feeling like a clever and successful tool-using animal.
anyway this is to say I repurposed a way too small pair of compression tights into an elbow brace the other day and just now zhuzhed up some leftovers very effectively using just random stuff from the fridge and I am pleased with myself TM.
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tamagotchikgs · 1 month
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the only downside 2 having someone i love is that now i have to fear death n actually care when my body does things it shouldnt
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littleoceanbabe · 8 months
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if izzy hands does not come back to haunt the revenge in some type of way in season 3 then i genuinely do not fucking want it. i don’t care. i need him. this isn’t our flag means death without izzy hands. fuck offfffff.
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ironmanstan · 10 months
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I am coming to the realization i have been slowly killing myself with work i think oops
#m thinking now and im like#i havent read ... anything consistently .. or watched anything .. or had time to like do anything#in genuinely so long#and i was like kinda becoming ok w it#my brain issues .. nothing matters i dont need anything all i need is me i dont need to have anyone or anything with me <- bad. stop it#part of this was the i need my dad to be proud of me braincell but well i win award i have 4.0 gpa and he still yell at me#deciding now to stop caring so much (i still do but ill ignore it) i need 2 be alive again i dont care#im so mad i dont even know .. im so viscerally angry like actually i dont even know what to do with that lmfao#my brother does shit all and u give him sm slack have NEVER treated him as bad as youve treated me#and nothing i do NOTHING is good enough or changes how u look at me#like idk he called me and i cried so much i got so fucking upset i fhkdhdkf ok. ok.#he will b like omg im so proud of u i love u so much ive always believed in u and i just think back to when#he yelled at me once like fiiive years ago and i was like u just make me feel so worthless all the time#and he was like yeah bc you are worthless#and im like hmmm idk bestie i dont think youve ever changed from looking at me like that and it is insanely obvious lmao#i dont even know bro im crazy. m insane got given an inch and tried to take a mile like omg i can actually be recognized as worth something#nevermind ill stop killing myself for that pipe dream now lol#m not even upset im just mad lmao i dont wanna hate my dad and i dont but every day i feel more and more like i should#vent
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what if the entity needs a vessel and thats what arlin is for
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morn1e · 1 year
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GET OFF THE FLOOR BITCH DAMN!!!!!!FUCK U LAYING THERE 4😂😂😂😂😂👎👎
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fideidefenswhore · 1 year
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🔥 whatever you like
Thanks!
So, there's been a few articles in the past decade or so that express distaste at the comparison of Princess Diana & AB (and a fair amount of umbrage in misc comments on social media at any parallels being drawn whatsoever, generally, I'm not gonna lie, from C/oA stans...Catherine was the Princess of Wales, Catherine was the one that was popular and beloved by the people, I think these are the broader strokes they believe should be associated with her more...that Catherine was the older of the pair does not seem to matter, that Catherine was, like Camilla, the one that knew 'the prince' the longest doesn't matter, because Camilla was Other Woman and AB was Other Woman, and as such they were both hated by the public, they will never see past any other elements of the story/stereotypes than those, esp. because ultimately they believe all the animus directed at both of those women was/is entirely deserved and justified);
But what's interesting is it's not even so much on the grounds that there are always pitfalls in sanctifying people in general, it's generally pearl-clutching about how Diana deserves sanctification, deserves every possible iteration to be made of her life, and AB does not...the answer to the 'moral quandary' presented in the The Times' BSR review, "Anne Boleyn is being rebooted — but was the tragic Tudor queen a whore and a witch or the Princess Diana of the Tudor age?" by Alison W/eir was basically that she wasn't a whore or a witch, but again, her oh-the-humanity answer of "she wasn't a very nice person" and deserved her "unpopularity in her own time", and was so far from Princess Di, woe to those that popularize AB, somehow she omits herself from that list, how stupid they are to ever believe otherwise, etc
The implication of the above is more what's funny to me... she shouldn't be treated as Princess Diana, because Anne 'had a mean streak' (using "words as one would not address to a dog", from a source no less than above reproach than that of an ex-flame)... but, Diana didn't? The woman who pushed her stepmother down a flight of stairs? The woman who confronted her children's nanny with an entirely personal, private (and leaked, to her belief, although it was later revealed it was another doctoring by Bashir) medical document? Diana was sanctified because she died tragically; if she were still alive today, she would almost certainly be "cancelled"; famous (women, particularly...they are generally judged more harshly) people have been cancelled for much less.
And then we have author Vanora Bennett, who did compare them, but not favorably, and rather misogynistically (to other women, as well):
[Anne] didn’t have the knack for self-reinvention that has brought modern celebrities such as Victoria Beckham long-term success, or the tight-lipped compliance that saw Kate Middleton claim her prize after eight years of waiting for Prince William to propose.
If anything, Anne reminds me more of Princess Diana – both of them charming and glamorous, yet unable to maintain smooth relations with the royals around them; manipulative and sometimes vindictive, yet posthumously elevated to icons of victimhood; dying too soon and leaving young children to cope with their tragic legacy.
Unfortunately this assessment has also been given academic gloss, but luckily this has mainly been limited to GW Bernard's asinine, quasi-profound remark that since Diana had sex outside of her marriage, AB probably did, too.
Idk, I've honestly just been thinking about this because I've been thinking about fan reactions as I watch The Crown, puzzled by how Peter Morgan is so good at writing those royals, but so bad at writing these royals...
Because, really, I think there are elements of both Camilla and Diana's stories in AB's? On the surface level, you have ebullient, charismatic, cheated on by her husband, husband dated her sister 1st, (honestly, never not going to be a weird thing, it must have been borne out of...I suppose, both the utterly limited society of 'acceptable' people to interact with for those of extreme wealth and the entitlement and belief you're above such provincial concerns as ‘That's Weird’), which is probably what led to that being motif in the Kristen Stewart as Diana movie.
And then, Anne was unpopular, but it was said basically, that...those who knew her, loved her, and those that didn't were, at the least, captivated by her despite themselves.
How much of her contemporary slander was from people that had only ever glimpsed her? I think we forget that when we forget how late the sixth-finger and other misc. deformities were alleged. 'Goggle-eyed whore' is the mark of someone who saw her from enough of an distance that the only feature of note was those infamous, large eyes.
Often people confuse charisma with popularity, very often they go together but they are not interchangeable, not synonymous. Charisma can only take effect within intimate contexts. As such, it's true that Anne had one but not so much the other.
Who knows how she might have fared, popularity-wise, if she'd had the powers of radio, TV, etc at her disposal...they're creative reimaginings out of her control/remit, but she has those now and seems to have done better on that front in immortality than she did in mortality/life.
What we have basically is two elements -- "royal mistress" and "threatening the image of the monarchy", and maybe even a little “marrying for love [when royal]”. These are all broad narrative stripes that are seen as “scandalous”, all seen as disruptive, against status quo, so they are always going to inspire creators. At the end of the day, the hand-wringing over that inspiration rings ... insipid? Naiive? Take your pick. 
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dadvidtism · 1 year
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cc tier list.. putting it here to rant a little in a ‘not into a wall’ way.. for personal needs.. 😇
#txt#camp camp#main tagging this out of pure spite im so silly#this is getting zero notes but i made these not for them anyway this is more personal rant reasoning if anything#if u dont agree with this 1. idgaf 2. i really really dgaf like truly it just means we dont agree#at some point u realize that people like the nazi child and there is nothing u can do about it so im winning the idgaf war#i’m pretty certain about my character list but the episode one is urgrhrg like i had to check over which ones the thumbnails are for#worlds worst cc enjoyer for the sole reason that im normal about it#alsooo the first episode should be a higher tier that had so much good comedy trio siblings moments#number ONE comedy trio siblings fan alive#me and orpheus fighting our ‘cc trios are siblings’ war in our own with no one to help#im such a solo dadvid stan though their duo makes me see red and also makes me giggle happy like woahhh the duality of a person (adhdtism)#also putting my rant on it here but !! reigny day episode pisses me AWWFFFF because it characterizes david as an asshole so well#but it’s also a nazi kid episode 😞 and idk how to deal with that#but season 1 is in general a good setting stone of david is a total bitch if u think about it so i’m okay with looking over it#i need to make a 2 page essay post on why im mad people overlook the ‘david is a shitty person’ thing season 1 establishes but it’s okay#whatever not like i care or anything <- cares deeply#fuck this show anyway im pissed at the fact i like it forever 😒#*said in a tsundere fashion* it’s not like the way u portray generational abuse and healing from it matters to me or anthing.. b baka >\\<
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frogeyedape · 1 year
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What in the absolute fuck
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fursasaida · 2 years
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“long story” is one of our language’s best phrases, sadly underappreciated:
no i will NOT be explaining myself
yes i AM framing that as a favor i’m doing for you
therefore you are NOT to ask follow-up questions
yet i do NOT appear rude; i in fact appear a) mysterious b) preoccupied with matters of which you know nothing
hit somebody with that this evening to stunning effect. thank u laconic detective and cowboy types i can never repay u
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neo-shitty · 1 year
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🍕.
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pepprs · 2 years
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ok update i just finished making my card and i said / drew (lol) basically everything i wanted to say in it (except for the things i definitely can’t say now that this is happening lol). so i think maybe i might be ok with not saying what i want to say directly to her. but then when i say that im not ok with it at all LOLLLL so i think i need to sleep on it and maybe see what tomorrow brings
#purrs#sobbed hysterically writing the message and that was like 4 hrs ago (yeah.) and im still like dizzy and puffy eyed from it. i am not having#a good time lol. and it’s only going to get more intense this whole week and i don’t know if i can handle it. ive been overstimulated /#sleep deprived for like 2 straight days bc yesterday i was doing everything in my power to avoid thinking abt it and today i was doing#everything in mt power TO think abt it including being subjected to things that were hard and ofc the walk being a flop kinda lol. but omg.#mutuals i know it’s so deeply cringe but i have been vagueposting abt my work life since before i even got the fucking job. i know i look#mentally ill about it and i definitely am but my colleagues past and present are my best friends and my number 1 reason to be alive#actually. so this is just. idk. this feels very……. especially when this is someone who was never supposed to leave this suddenly. who i thou#thought i had years and years left with. and it’s just over like that and we have to say goodbye and i know it’s not even that big of a move#but it’s actually killing me. like physically. that this is happening rn. i don’t know what the fuck im going to do. and we aren’t even f#gonna be able to grieve openly at all but we are grieving and she doesn’t even.. like idk. maybe it just hasn’t occurred to her that we are.#but we literally are and its soooooooo bad. it’s so bad. i feel like im having a bad dream every day. i already felt like nothing was real#anymore and this helped abt -50000% with that sensation. like wtf is going on rn. she’s LEAVING. ON FRIDAY. FOREVER. FUCK!#but uh yeah the point is i do want to talk to her and if it was anyone else i would. but when it comes to emotional stuff and being honest#w each other abt how one makes the other feel… we are incompatible im afraid. she doesn’t want to talk abt it and all i want to do is talk b#but im shy and weak so i cave and just do everything in my power to give her what she needs and then i feel shattered for the rest of the#day / week / whatever. it fucking sucks and im not like that w anyone else in my little irl world (except my p*rents ofc LMAO) but it’s like#onmgggggg. can we please just talk abt how it is so painful you are doing this and comfort each other in it somehow. LOL! like i am in so mu#much pain i can’t even speak and she didn’t even look at me when i flicked my eyes over to her during the silences. CRINGE! girl she doesn’t#care about you 😭😭😭😭 except she does. idk. it’s just sooooo. idk. my brain is not right it hasn’t been since i got the news. i think im dying#delete later#OMG ALSO it is now the wee hours of july 26 which means that 3 yrs ago right abt now i did something so very stupid that made me have my#first very bad breakdown ever and it led to me realizing i needed counseling again. so maybe in the spirit of this anniversary i will do#this stupid thing (of asking to talk and then saying what i want to say even though i wrote it out) and then have a very bad breakdown and t#then go to counseling 🥳✌️
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ireallydolikeyou2 · 3 months
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Yikessss
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morn1e · 1 year
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acted on impulse&drew a what if of joan wearing winter clothes all year around. even during summer.mind u joan&the crew canonically live in california. but whatever u know? who else but lovejoy?
do not let me draw ever again
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starlightomatic · 4 months
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Someone sent me an ask about how to avoid antisemitism when talking about what's happening in Palestine, but Tumblr ate it. This is a really important question, because we don't want to fight one oppression while enabling another; we don't want to accidentally foment the conditions that lead to antisemitic violence, and we also don't want to shy away from speaking about Gaza for fear that we're doing so.
Here are my thoughts.
There are a lot of unconscious antisemitic beliefs that people hold, that they may not be consciously aware of. They may have learned these from parents, peers, or society at large. Like any bigotry, a huge part of not being harmful in bigoted ways comes down to learning what unconscious bigotry looks like within you and learning how it is expressed.
Antisemitism is very old, and there are a lot of tropes and beliefs that have developed through the years. Many of these are alive and well, though they may be subtle enough that people don't realize they're carrying them. However, they show up in the way that people speak, especially about Israel and Palestine. Here are some:
1. Jews are overwhelmingly wealthy
2. Jews control the world
3. Jews control a given country (eg the US)
4. Jews are not oppressed
5. Jews are some of the most privileged people in society; more than non-Jewish white people. Jews are white people but even more so.
6. Jews are whiny and complain about their nonexistent oppression too much
7. Jews are sneaky, deceptive, and untrustworthy. They don't speak sincerely or plainly; they have an ulterior motive and are trying to get one over on you.
8. Jews are greedy
9. Jews are really powerful
10. Jews undermine and destabilize movements and countries. (This one connects to 3, 7, and 8).
11. Jews are inherently guilty; a good Jew needs to apologize for being Jewish
12. Jews are bloodthirsty and desire violence against non-Jews
13. A Jew is from somewhere else, and does not belong in the place that they are.
14. Jews sap resources from the country they are in and funnel them into their own communities/interests. They are a vampire-like parasite on the societies they live in.
How do these get expressed in the movement? Here are some examples (these are paraphrases and combinations of various things I've seen):
Example A:
"American Jews are complaining about oppression while living in their NYC apartments and taking Ubers. It's ridiculous, so much privilege and entitlement." This one's got 1, 4, 5, 6, and 7.
1: Assumes wealth. Plenty of us can't afford NYC apartments or Ubers!
4, 5, and 6: self-explanatory.
7: Belief that on some level, fear of antisemitism can't really be sincere; we must be talking about it for some other purpose, eg to distract from "real" issues.
Example B:
"The US is funding this genocide because of the influence of Israel and Israel's interests, and the Jewish lobbyists." Employs 3 and 9.
3: The US is doing this because of its own interests; if anything, the US wants to be able to use Israel as a pawn.
9: Imagines Jewish lobbyists as powerful enough to drive US policy. Also forgets how dramatically the US dwarfs Israel in size, money, and power; imagines it's the other way around.
Example C:
"These Israeli first responders are lying about finding mutilated and sexually abused bodies after October 7th. This Israeli girl who was held hostage is lying about having talked to fellow hostages who were sexually assaulted. This Israeli first responder is lying about children having been killed on October 7th."
This is 4, 6, and mainly 7.
7 because it assumes that these people are telling these lies for some nefarious purpose: to garner false sympathy, or worse, to manufacture support for genocide. It cannot be because they are actually telling the truth.
Example D:
"It's suspect if someone talks too much about antisemitism. Or if they correct my misinformation. They are probably a crypto-Zionist. In fact, all of these Jewish tumblr bloggers are crypto-Zionists."
(The first part of this I haven't heard said; but rather it's the unspoken attitude I'm frequently presented with.)
This one has 4, 5, 6, 7 and 10. Mostly 7 and 10.
Beliefs that our goal is to derail pro-Palestine organizing by sewing Zionist beliefs in the movement. That we would be capable of such (9). That it's impossible that we're sincere and we're concerned both about what's happening in Gaza and the everpresent, intangible potent threat of imminent antisemitic violence.
Example E:
"What everpresent threat of imminent antisemitic violence? You're either delusional, too privileged to understand how oppressed you aren't, or lying to some sinister purpose."
The first two (delusional and too privileged) often comes from other Jews, who, yes, can be antisemitic too.
This one has: 4, 5, 6, 7, and 9.
Example F:
"As a Jew I know I am responsible for what's happening in Gaza, and I need to call in my people who deny our privilege and who think they're unsafe."
1, 4, 5, 6, 11. Shades of 10.
Example G:
"Israel is invading Gaza for oil."
8. Also this isn't true.
Example H:
"No Israeli is a civilian. All settlers are guilty, and need to leave."
Technically, it is possible for someone to hold this belief consistently for all settlers worldwide due to stringent decolonial beliefs. However, it frequently is applied only to Israelis. In such an iteration, I think it contains 10, 11, 12, and 13.
Which leads to my next point: Double standards. If something doesn't invoke a particular trope, but views Jewish or Israeli actions more harshly than we'd view the equivalent in any other place or people, to me that's suspect.
For example, relating to the above, if we believe that Truth and Reconciliation is the answer in the US and Canada, but in Israel the answer would be forced displacement of the Jewish population, that would be antisemitic.
Also, if we're able to hold nuance around the idea of refugees to the US and Canada, and understand that they're simultaneously taking part in colonialism while also arriving under duress because they need a place to live, we can extend the same nuance to the idea of Jewish refugees (Holocaust survivors, SWANA Jews, Ethiopian Jews, etc) who have come to Israel.
And, going back to example A, is there any other marginalized group we would say is not actually oppressed because members of it live in NYC and take Ubers? No? Then, it's antisemitic when you say it about Jews.
I also think misinformation about Jewish history and identity is antisemitic. For example, lines of thought that deny our ancestral, historical, cultural, and liturgical connections to the land of Israel/Palestine. One false belief I see a lot is Khazar Theory, popularized by the quack Shlomo Sand. This states that Ashkenazi Jews do not have ancestral origins in what's now Israel/Palestine, but rather descend from a mass conversion of Turkic peoples in the Kingdom of Kazaria. It is not, in fact, true.
Something else along these lines is back-defining origins and land-connection through current events. For example, a white gentile ex-friend of mine shared a post stating that because the IDF, as well as settler extremists, destroy Palestinian olive trees (an egregious act, in my opinion, as well as against Jewish law), this means we are not native to the land. While I understand the term native is complex and this might have been an attempt to denote our positionality as colonizer in a colonizer-indigenous dynamic, the framing of the post led me to believe that, actually, the post was using these actions to prove that we do not actually originate from the land.
Destroying Palestinian olive trees is an act of great violence against the land, against the Palestinian people, and against our own history, culture, and religious traditions. However, it does not change the historical fact of our origins or ancestry, nor the fact the our religious traditions are deeply intertwined with the seasons, climate, and agriculture of Israel-Palestine, even when that puts them out of sync with the seasons and climate of wherever we live in Diaspora.
I hope this is helpful. This is a really hard time for so many of us, and I know it can feel like derailing to focus on antisemitism right now, and to focus on the potential of future violence when the people of Gaza are experiencing actual extreme levels of violence right now. But if we truly believe that none of us are free until all of us are free, then fighting antisemitism has to be part of our collective liberation. We cannot and should not fight genocide by engaging in oppression. Speaking up for Gaza and Palestine does not have to mean fomenting conditions that put Jews in danger of bigotry and violence. The world we're building is one where seeing your trees destroyed, or your family killed, or your home receding into the distance as you are forced to leave is but a distant memory. For Palestinians, and for Jews, and for everybody on this Earth.
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fangswbenefits · 1 year
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Ao3 . Ko-fi
ASTARION
⤷ Book - Astarion comes across an interesting book and decides to share the knowledge with you. Quite literally.
⤷ The Arrangement (on-going series): masterlist
⤷ Lockpicking - You ask Astarion to teach you how to lockpick and things get... out of hand.
⤷ Pointy Ears - You accidentally find just how sensitive Astarion is when it comes to a certain part of his body…
⤷ Curiosity - Astarion wishes to satisfy his curiosity when it comes to breastfeeding... and comes up with a proposition that is mutually beneficial.
⤷ Oral Fixation - Astarion is quite sure you are going to drive him insane from how adorable and clueless you are when eating those juicy fruits around him... and he just has to do something about it.
⤷ Unexpected - Astarion has barely ever considered starting a family with you in the old-fashioned way, but an unexpected conversation might just trigger that urge.
⤷ Breathe - Astarion is more than eager to show you the perks of not breathing.
⤷ Questions - Your curiosity drives you to ask Astarion a very unexpected question, and he's more than happy to give you a proper reply.
⤷ Patience - You are too eager to ride Astarion, and he proposes a solution to your impatience. After all, experience is the best teacher and impatience its fiercest enemy.
⤷ Backfire - You should have known better than to make Astarion jealous, and now you are left to deal with the consequences.
⤷ Reading Session - Astarion walks in on you reading a rather suggestive book, and far be it from him to interrupt your learning process. 
⤷Trance - Astarion is having a hard time trancing, and you offer to help him out in more ways than one.
⤷ Fever - You're running a fever, and Astarion offers to cool you down… only to make things a whole lot worse.
⤷ Everything - You're used to staying still whenever Astarion feeds on you. This time, he wants you to feel everything.
⤷ Comfortable - Astarion walks in on you in a rather compromising situation. Naturally, he offers to help, but then you ask him to promise you something that he was not expecting…
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(LINKS ARE CURRENTLY NOT WORKING - I'LL FIX THEM SOON 🙏)
MIGUEL O'HARA
✫ 18+:
⤷ Tension - Miguel walks in on you late at night doing something unexpected, which makes things really awkward afterwards…
⤷ For Science - There has been a rumour circulating in regards to Miguel’s venom. It has to be too far-fetched, right?
⤷ Intimacy - Lack of intimacy after childbirth can weigh a relationship down. Thankfully, Miguel always finds new ways to keep the spark alive.
⤷ Perfect Morning - Miguel’s definition of a perfect morning involves a comfortable bed and being buried deep inside you.
⤷ Comfort - Miguel has been having nightmares as of late and seeks a level of comfort only you can provide.
⤷ Breakfast in Bed - Miguel wakes you up to breakfast in bed.
⤷ Stress Relief - Peter B. Parker should know better than to swing by unannounced.
⤷ Sharing is Caring (I) - (II) - A mission has both Miguel and you sharing a room… what could possibly go wrong?
⤷ [COMPLETE] (0) Sweet Girl , (1) Frustration , (2) Suit Up , (3) Obsession , (4) Consequences , (5) Discovery , (6) Double-edged Sword , (7) Confession , (8) Devotion - Miguel’s desire for you has been taking a toll on him, and he really has no other option…
⤷ Second Intentions - You’ve been tense lately, and Miguel offers a massage. Quite thoughtful of him… except you know exactly why.
⤷ Tracking - You find out Miguel has been tracking something that concerns you… and him.
⤷ Gentle - Miguel shows you how gentle he can be during your pregnancy and how worthy you are of it.
⤷ Backfire - The math is simple: you make Miguel jealous + push him past his breaking point = hot rough sex. Too bad Miguel doesn’t do simple.
⤷ Side Effect - Miguel has been acting off lately and you find out why… the hard way.
⤷ Stubborn - As far as you’re concerned, you just want to stay in bed all day, admiring Miguel’s glorious chest.
✫ Fluff/Comedy/Comfort/Hurt/Angst/Misc:
⤷ Memories - You are ready to tell Miguel he is going to be a father… but he isn’t.
⤷ Revelations - Miguel asks you to keep a secret, so naturally everyone is about to find out.
⤷ Solution - Period cramps always leave you feeling miserable, so Miguel offers a solution.
⤷ Tiny Spider - Your daughter has a few questions, and you suspect Miguel might just open a portal to another dimension.
⤷ Another Chance - You go into labour and all you know is that you need Miguel more than ever.
⤷ Broken - You wonder if Miguel is broken beyond repair, because he surely believes that.
⤷ Family - Miguel is a natural when it comes to being a father.
⤷ A Series of Firsts - You and Miguel are ready to become parents and you must now go through a series of firsts together.
⤷ Appreciation - Miguel catches you staring at a very specific part of his body…
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