#how betrayed the Jiang siblings feel about Wei Wuxian working for the Wens during that period

[mikkeneko]

Why do my self-indulgent emotional fictional scenarios require so much BACKSTORY. I’m not INTERESTED in hashing out the details of a post-sunshot  political landscape where the Jiang parents survived but Wei Wuxian was working on the side of the Wens, I’m INTERESTED in a story where Lan Xichen gets custody of a post-war fucked up WOMD Wei Wuxian entirely on the strength of his principles alone and gradually makes the transition from teeth-gritted “human life is the priority” to “oh holy shit this kid has been so fucked up and betrayed by literally every authority in his life”

[amedetoiles]

I’m so, glad I have someone to cry over this imaginary musical with. OMG heterosexual soup drama song is the BEST idea. WWX singing his second most dramatic piece in the whole show, JYL sobbing, LWJ in the background going “Wei Ying…???” I *love* the idea of a one line ‘walking a single plank bridge’ song. It could be a from a song WWX sings to Wen Yuan as they walk away from LWJ… Sizhui could also sing a softer reprise of the bouncy turnip song song when he tells WWX who he is 😭

(follow-up regarding this ask)

OMFG A CUTE TURNIP SONG ABOUT GROWING HIM FRIENDS. 😭 Imagine also a softer version being A-Yuan’s lullaby that Wei Wuxian and Wen Qing sing to get him to sleep on more difficult nights. As the story progresses, Sizhui slowly starts remembering the melody more and more and then finally sings the reprise of it when he tells Wei Wuxian. 😭😭😭 The reprises in musicals usually always slay me so much more than the original songs. It’s just such an extraordinary way to tie in all the musical pieces together. I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT THIS.

Lan Wangji is a man of concise words and thousands of emotions, and when he sings, you listen because it’s important enough that he breaks out into song! SINGING WEI WUXIAN’S SONG BACK TO HIM THOUGH. 😭 How is it possible that we made Wangxian even more romantic??

Other thoughts now that I’ve had some more sleep:

Madam Yu sings super angry and spiteful numbers. Jiang Fengmian doesn’t respond in song (he very on brand doesn’t respond at all) until his dying breath where they sing a duet one liner together while reaching for each other’s hands. Listen, they’re awful people, and that’s why it hurts.

A SongXiao duet that is threaded through the entire Yi City arc and break everyone to pieces. Something slow and soft and tragically painfully along the lines of something like Skinny Love by Birdy as Xiao Xingchen dies, as Song Lan walks away with Shuanghua and XXC’s spirit.

Fun ensemble numbers with all the Juniors! Lan Jingyi crooning a dramatic ode to his lost chicken drumstick. My most favorite baby boy Jin Ling working through all of the betrayals, and the very confusing feeling of actually liking/loving Wei Wuxian and feeling like he’s betrayed his family. But also, a very cute and fun song about Fairy.

I don’t know if you’ve ever listened to the live action Mulan soundtrack, but Loyal, Brave, and True as a Jiang Cheng Sunshot era and post-Sunshot era song. I mean, just listen to this: Will I be stronger or will I be weak / When you're not with me? / Who am I without my armor? / Standing in my father's shoes / All I know is that it's harder / To be loyal, brave and true

Of course because I am a proud Yunmeng Shuangjie apologist, every song that I find for Jiang Cheng seems to fit just as well for Wei Wuxian, and this, to me, is a delightful discovery.

The song that Jiang Cheng sings during the reveal of his initial sacrifice in the final scene should be called Take Care. It should include a reprise of a Yunmeng sibling song. I LOVE REPRISES OKAY.

All in all to say that you have found the absolute correct person to cry and scream over imaginary musicals with. Admittedly, I will cry about anything, but MUSICALS! FEELINGS IN SONG! JIANG CHENG SINGING!

[fondofeveryprickle]

MDZS and The Untamed comparision

let's preface this by saying this is my opinion. and I know my opinion is not universal. but I wanted to put my thoughts someplace. you can agree or disagree, and I would love to hear your takes on both. also, I may get information mixed up, I read the novel really fast and then went straight to watching the show. please, correct me if I'm wrong.

so I need to start saying I loved both so much. they both have things the other lacked and I had such a joy while watching/reading.

On the main plot:

the novel wins this one easy!!!

I particularly don't like the idea of Yin Iron. it takes from Wei WuXian's story. if the yin iron already existed and was used to control corpses/resentful energy, what Wei WuXian did with the stygian tiger Amulet was not as impressive as him doing it without any precedent.

but I also understand why they did it, so Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi had reasons to work together at the beginning

still on the yin iron and the whole wen clan thing. I really prefer the novel, where it shows that the wen sect just wants power. it's not anything supernatural or whatever.

the whole "corpses" being censured from cql made the show lose so many opportunities. I really wanted to see the horror of it. those black clouds of resentful energy were just okay for me, not scary enough. and it didn't feel powerful enough (specially on the nightless city battle)

and I really wanted them looking for body parts and discovering that people had been buried with wrong body parts and all. and having them taking a really long time to discover it was Nie MingJue, because they had just some body parts that could have been anybody.

and not having the corpses took a lot of power from Wei WuXian. and made wen ning not make any sense (the explanation from the dancing statue makes no sense, really)

all in all, novel wins this round

On the characters:

on this one I have mixed feelings. I feel like a lot of characters had a better development on the show (specially on the scenes from before 16 years), because the novel was from Wei WuXian's pov, so there were lots of things he was not really paying attention to.

I still prefer wwx from the novel. his character arc is more interesting for me. specially because he is actually guilty of the things people accuse him of (even if he had reasons, and I agree to those reasons), and the show took it away from him, and laid the blame on jgy. I feel like the show took the easy way out, not letting wwx deal with the lack of control on those situations. but I also love him in the novel in all the ways he's always ready for chaos, on the show he seems more calm, I guess. I also love him coming to terms that he likes guys (or at least lwj). it was a long way coming in the novel, and the "oh" moment was so good.

also the whole mo XuanYu/resurrection thing. it doesn't make sense that he went back to having his own body. and made it really hard for him to hide himself. although story-wise I don't like that he has his own body because it doesn't make sense. I am really glad they didn't change, because the actor is simply perfect as Wei WuXian, and I wouldn't want it to change either.

on Lan WangJi I have mixed feelings. since we read the novel through wwx's pov, we mostly know what he knows. and I think the show and the actor did an amazing job of portraying lwj that felt faithful to the novel but also a little more fleshed out, mainly past lwj. but they also made him softer than the book in a way. I like both versions very much. I can't choose. but I really don't think he would ever become chief cultivator, and I don't really like this ending for him. it doesn't make a lot of sense. he doesn't really enjoy talking to people and making compromises, which he would have to do a lot, being the leader of all clans/sects. he's the person who likes to travel to help whoever needs help, he likes teaching the juniors.

we also deserved more drunk!Lan WangJi than what we got

YanLi!!!! the show for sure!!!! ❤ her role is much bigger on the show and I love her very much.

the same with wen qinq. I loved the little we got of her from the novel, but I loved that she had a much bigger role on the show (still bitter she's dead - I want modern!au fics where she and wwx are best friends)

another thing. I think because the show is mostly in chronological order it made me care more about the characters (and not only wwx and lwj) and so I cried more (not sure if it's a positive thing).

on the novel, the flashbacks were all mixed up in the middle of the story, and even then, they were not in chronological order, but the thing we needed to know because it related to things that were about to happen. so I already knew who was dead, and who was friend or foe, so when they appeared in the flashback chapters, I couldn't care a lot about them so I wouldn't suffer.

even reading the novel first, watching the show gave me a chance to care about a lot of people, because they were always there, and so I suffered a little more.

the show also gave me a chance to fall in love with nie MingJue and then take him away from me. I feel like the novel didn't talk about him enough.

On the relationships:

both. both is good. no, actually both is great and they complement each other so well!!!!

this is a point that I really really can't choose one or the other. maybe most people say the novel, because the relationship is canon and they are married by the end of it. and that's a great point in its favour for sure.

I think their relationship has more time to develop in the past on the show than on the novel. there were a lot of moments they had together in the past and we can see lwj, and see him getting soft near wwx. there are a lot of declarations of intent on the show as well

but I also love their relationship on the novel, post resurrection. I love how lwj creates all the reasons they need to stick together, even when wwx wants to run away.

I do love that it is canon. I love so much. I love that wwx gave the rabbits to lwj when they were teenagers, and 13 years after wwx died, he still had rabbits. I love all their stolen kisses, and I love that they are actually married travelling the world, and stopping back at cloud recesses sometimes.

I love how we discover that lwj always loved wwx, even when the world hated him. and wwx didn't know. but he also didn't know that he loved lwj. but we can see it in all the times he talks about him, and how much he really wants to befriend lwj and everything.

but I miss the teasing on the show. I miss drunk! lwj letting wwx do whatever. I miss a little lwj holding wwx by his hands tied with his headband in front of all the juniors and wwx doesn't really know what's the big deal.

but for a show that had the gay censored, I really love the development of their relationship through smiles and soft looks and little touches and protections. and some big gestures (staircase scene? rain scene?)

I liked Wei WuXian & Jiang Cheng relationship better on the show. their sibling love is so strong, and so beautiful, all the more painful after everything that happened. again, I think this one for me feels like that because the show is chronological, so. made me love Jiang Cheng, for later to feel so sad and betrayed for what he did to wwx.

another one, Jiang Cheng/Wen Qinq. I don't know how I feel about them. they don't exist in the novel. Jiang Cheng met her once right after his parents and his whole clan died, and he was really rude to her, and then they meet again, when he goes to burial mounds to talk to wwx. but on the show they have an awkward something going on, which makes it all more sad that he won't help her and her family and then just watches her die.

Other:

the whole importance of Jin GuangYao during the show was a little annoying to me. it was never a surprise that he was not really the good guy. I preferred the surprise of discovering all together from the novel.

the ending. without a doubt the novel wins this one. making them go their separate ways? after everything lwj did to have wwx back? makes zero sense. and I already said what I think about lwj becoming chief cultivator.

I guess that's it. all in all, I prefer the novel, but I also love the show. and I believed they can be complementary to each other (as long as I ignore the ending of the show).

(i guess I'm ready for the fics now. I just wish it were easier to find out if they use novel canon or show canon)

[a-nonny-mouse-0]

Jin Sibling Au Part 3

Okay before I start on day three of writing the next three pages of this outline I wanted to make a quick note. I noticed that my current blog may not be best place to put my writing in. It is eclectic with humor and politics along with story ideas that I’m still working on. So I may make another blog and just reblog this along with the other Jin Sibling Au. Just a heads up, I just need to come up for a name. 

Welp ¯\_(ツ)_/¯on with the outline 

Meng Yao meets Wen Qing. It takes a bit of finagling, but he convinces her to help him. It takes a lot of finagling! Especially when Wen Ning helps Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian. As far as he knows as long as they can keep Wen Ning safe she is fine helping him. She doesn’t know what he is doing with some information, but she finally gets an idea, but it’s too late. If she tells Wen Rouhan, her brother may suffer the consequences. All she can do is help Meng Yao and hope it helps her in the long run.

Notes: Meng Yao sees how Wen Qing protects her brother while Wen Ning is nothing like her.

He asks Wen Ning if has ever been jealous of Wen Qings forceful personality. Wen Ning say’s no because he knows his sister cares and loves him. In fact, he compares it to a warm blanket of love that he can’t get enough of. Meng Yao thinks it’s too gushy ￣へ￣

This is right after Wen Rouhan’s defeat:

After Wen Rouhan’s defeat, Meng Yao becomes Jin Guangyao. Both brothers have not talked, but Guangyao knows that Jixuan may be upset with him.

The news about Meng Yao formally accepted into the Jin sect is met with mixed reviews. A majority thinks this is wonderful, including Xichen who know’s how hard Meng Yao Jin Guangyao worked to have Sect Leader Jin to acknowledge him.

Nie Mingjue is skeptical but keeps his mouth shut. He still remembers the actions that JGY did.

He tries hard to please his father (he did an excellent job with the banquet) but is conflicted when he’s tasked to ensure the elimination of the last Wens. He speaks to Jin Guangshan that he could not have done this without the help of certain Wen’s but his father would not hear of it.

Jin Guangyao is now hesitant to talk to Jixuan. Jixuan however has become quite stubborn and meets face to face with his brother. They argue first about not sending each other letters (they both agree that maybe it’s pointless to fight about that) Then Jixuan pleads to please be careful about following father’s every whim. He says’s he can talk to mother and convince her to have him under her care.

Guangyao refuses, he knows Madam Jin would rather swallow needles than protect him, and states he just needs to do what father order’s showing he is worthy. He’s trying to convince both his brother and self. Jixuan doesn’t accept his choice and runs off. Guangyao has trouble swallowing the guilt he feels. He shouldn’t feel guilty, after all the Wen’s aren’t family and his brother surely won’t know what he’s about to do, right? He’s now part of the Jin Sect, he can finally spend time with his younger brother and he’s sure he can get father’s love.

Jixuan meets Yanli who is there to help her brother’s. They end up talking which is sweet and say’s he envies Yanli. This makes her confused until he states that even though her brothers are a terror for him, he can see how much they love her and what they will do for her.

Yanli states that yes, her brothers are a handful but they are wonderful to be around with and is grateful to have them in her life.

There is a lot of blushing and Jixuan may have wondered what it is like to hold her hand a lot. Then he remembers that he has yet to give her a formal apology for his accusation during the war. Yeah no, that simple apology is not good enough she deserves better.

Meanwhile, Xichen realizes that Guangyao is upset and suggests that they walk to talk in private. It’s okay, thinks Guangyao, after all it’s great to catch up with a friend.

They end up talking, which leads to a sweet, unexpected kiss. Xichen is excited and confused. He didn’t expect his feelings to lead to this, but it makes him happy. With Guangyao, however, he feels horrified. This will not work. His father will find out and cast him out and the cultivation world will have another reason to look down on him, after all he is the son of a prostitute (seriously his issue with this irks me, but I can see why he is hung up about it. It pisses him off no matter how much he tells Jixuan to not worry about it, however it will still be something that bothers him. I will unleash the sibling love from Jixuan as soon as they both stop arguing!)

Guangyao leaves abruptly, leaving a brokenhearted Xichen. o(TヘTo)

Nie Mingjue still does not trust, even though Lan Xichen tells him that he needs to give Jin Guangyao a chance. Mingjue is quick to bring up how Guangyao is now ignoring him. This does hurt Xichen but makes no comment on it.

In order to ensure that he can keep an eye on his competitors, Jin Guangshan wants Jin Guangyao to talk to them.

In an act of desperation Xichen asks for the vow of brotherhood Mingjue agrees and Guangyao is forced to smile and agree.

Xichen: Want’s to at least have a connection with Guangyao. He may not be interested in him romantically but maybe still be there for him as a friend and show Mingjue  that he is a good person.

Mingjue: Knows that something is going on and believes that Jin Guangyao is planning something.

Guanyao: Follows his father’s wishes to have some sort of alliance and keep an eye on both sects. He refuses to think about that kiss, even though he has taken a few careful glimpses towards Xichen’s direction.

Even though Jixuan is upset with Guangyao, he does end up going to him for advice:

        “Guangyao, I need your assistance!” Jixuan winces. He didn’t mean to make it sound like an order, but for sure his brother can tell not to take it to heart. The courtesy bow proves him wrong.

        “Of course, How may I be of service? (❁^◡^❁)” Jixuan frowns. This was not going how he thought it was going to go. ಠ_ಠ 

        “Stop that!” He orders placing his hands on his brothers arms, maybe a bit too forceful, so he did not have to bow. “I may be mad at you, but you're still my brother, not a servant.” 

         Guangyao surprised but nods. Jixuan goes back to the topic at hand. 

         “Anyway, help me, please.” Guangyao laughs. Jixuan looked embarrassed, it must not be easy for him to also for help, the question is why? He never had trouble asking for help on his education or phrases he did not understand in the common folk. 

          “All right, I will help you, brother. Now what can I do to help.” Guangyao replies, interested to find out why his brother is so nervous.

          “Better! Well, I need help-” he gets nervous visibly, hands behind his back, looking everywhere but Guangyao as he paced back and forth “-normally I go to mother but I don’t want to hear her nag at me again. I know you will too, but it won't sound as irritating.”

          “What does Madam Jin-” Begins Guangyao then instantly puts the pieces together. “Does this have to do about Lady Jiang Yanli?” Jixuan is silent, stopped pacing to look at his brother but his face is red. Guangyao laughs at him and retorts at him.

           “I told you so!” 

           Jixuan looks betrayed and then grumpy. Is this how brothers really interact? You fight with each other, but can still talk to one another and then betray you when you ask for their help?

          Once his teasing is done Guangyao smiles at him. “Tell me what do you need help with exactly?”

         “I need to woo Yanli, I did her wrong and accused her unjustly. I apologized, but only simply. Now I want to do her right, that apology doesn’t feel enough.” Then in a rather meek voice, “Please help me.”

          Something in that voice, how Jixuan is treating him now (no he’s done it before just never in public but wasn’t for the lack of trying) warms his heart. It also reminds him of how Xichen Zewu-jun treats him. No, that’s wrong. Is Jixuan looking up to him? That’s a little ridiculous. Shaking his thoughts away, he agrees to come up with a proper formal apology. Who knew he would seriously take his advice with ‘I’m sorry’. He may need to be careful with his teasing.

Okay, So I wrote more of the outline but still need to figure out some kinks here and there. I almost had a few events mixed in, that I had to consult the wiki. I love the web series, but I am not spending a lot of time going through it. So I do know that Jin Jixuan is older (Thank you @minutemarch for the correction :-D), but in this au universe he is now younger! You can thank my confused self who misread the wiki page and other sources.

So yeah, love interest for both siblings but still a hot mess for all parties involved. After all, Yanli may have received an apology, but after all the indifference she received from Jixuan, he will need Guangyao to help him. Especially with Yanli’s brother’s in her corner ready to defend her. (I don’t mean to make them sound horrible but this is in the point of view of Jin siblings so it comes across that way ಥ_ಥ)

And we are not forgetting Guangyao and Xichen. I feel that it will be extremely angsty at their end too. Tbh I have more written for them but I keep finding myself adding more for Jixuan and Yanli.

Next part: Jixuan tries his hand at helping Guagyao with Xichen... you should probably ask the right people and not the ones who’s sister you’ve made upset.

Note: the next part will be on my new blog @lolmouseywriting

[grapefruitsketches]

Untamed Spring Fest 2020 - Day 7: Pastel

2,278 Words

YanQing, Wen Qing, Jiang Yanli, hurt/comfort, fluff & angst, set around Episode 17 of CQL (at the Yiling Supervisory Office)

“With grey clouds starting to form overhead, she didn’t like that she didn’t know where Yanli was.”

Wen Qing had guests, but that didn’t make her a host. She was busy. Between preparing various tonics and ointments, supervising Wen Ning, her daily trips into Yiling proper to restock supplies, and visiting various patients, she had hardly had time to talk to her brother about the three traumatized Yunmeng siblings now staying in her home. Her guests didn’t seem all that interested in speaking to her anyway at the moment.

Even though she couldn’t dispute that it was easier to work without them under her feet, she wished that Jiang Cheng was awake, that Wei Wuxian was making trouble. She wished, above all, that they would all get better if only to relieve the sullen look on Wen Ning’s face.

Wen Ning had always been upbeat - had been the ray of idealistic optimism to her cynical pragmatism. She needed Wen Ning to be alright, to be happy, and safe. If not, what had this all been for anyway?

As she cleared the empty soup bowls from Wei Wuxian’s table, Wen Qing realized that she hadn’t seen Yanli all day. Yanli had spent most of her time since her arrival acting as the perfect image of a doting sister. She cooked and sat by her brother’s bedside. She even kept Wen Ning company, bringing a smile to his face as she asked him questions about the medicines that Wen Ning was only too proud to answer.

Wen Qing understood Yanli’s impulse well. She had felt it herself during her and Wen Ning’s first nights in Nightless City. Keep busy. Keep the others’ spirits up. Be the rock in the storm that had destroyed everything they’d ever known. If she wasn’t the rock, who would be? Show any sign of weakness and they would be swept away in an instant. Wen Qing understood that this structure, this work towards normalcy, could be a powerful coping mechanism. But she also knew that Yanli had a fever and that she did not want anyone, especially her brothers, to worry about.

Without ever bringing it up, Wen Qing had been keeping an eye on the fever. She had been happy to see that Yanli seemed able to maintain her regular sleeping schedule mostly without stumbling, but Wen Qing wished she would dedicate some time to healing. With grey clouds starting to form overhead, she didn’t like that she didn’t know where Yanli was.

The supervisory office was big, but not that big, and Wen Qing did not see Yanli as the kind of person to wander off into areas of the residence that Wen Qing had not shown her. Yanli was not in the kitchen, or her own quarters, or the library, or at Jiang Cheng’s bedside. Wen Qing quickly checked on the sleeping Jiang Cheng before continuing her search. She had only been outside for a few moments before one drop, then two, then a steady shower of rain covered the courtyard - Wen Qing included. Something about the water… the sudden rain on a previously sunny day, sparked a memory.

The pond.

Where else would a child of Lotus Pier go for comfort than to the nearest body of water?

Wen Qing grabbed an umbrella from her quarters, and set off towards the back of the residence, confident that the eldest lotus would be there.

--

Wen Qing remembered her and Yanli’s first real conversation, back in the Cloud Recesses. Wen Qing had been walking by the riverbank, grateful that she had brought an umbrella, unsure as always whether she actually wanted to find what Wen Ruohan had sent her for, or whether it would be better if his goals were simply unachievable. She had at that moment noticed a figure, draped in white with pastel purple designs and an elegant hairpiece, soaked, sitting on a rock, and rubbing her temples.

“Yanli?”  Wen Qing was surprised to see anyone else out in this rain.

They had talked all the way back. Despite her fever, Jiang Yanli was a lively conversationalist. Wen Qing had wondered whether she bored Yanli. To hear Yanli laugh as she described her brothers’ antics, or sigh as she wondered whether she truly felt love for Jin Zixuan, or if she had just resolved herself to be happy because they would be married regardless… Wen Qing could not think of any stories she could reciprocate with. The happy childhood stories Yanli described, and the innocent romantic worries could only be answered by Wen Qing’s experiences of tragedy, too heavy to be borne by such a light and airy mood. She could not discuss her thoughts right now either. She couldn’t exactly tell a Jiang that she was on a covert mission to spy on the Lans.

Wen Qing was lost in this moment of self-pity as she lead Yanli to the bed and covered her with heavy blankets. When she turned towards her medicine stores to find something for dizziness, Yanli’s flow of musings paused for a moment, then, “Thank you Wen Qing.”

Wen Qing turned back, holding the medicine with a soft smile on her face, “It is my job. I am a doctor after all.”

Yanli started to shake her head, then blinked, reaching to steady her probably still swirling world, “No, not just that, I mean.” She fell silent, looking embarrassed all of the sudden.

“What is it?” Wen Qing had encouraged.

“I admire you.” Yanli confessed, “You are always so strong, looking out for your brother, studying the lessons, cultivation, medicine. I can’t help but envy you sometimes, you know.” Yanli smiled, “You do so much and even then, you found time to help me, to… to listen to me.” Yanli looked Wen Qing directly in the eyes, “It means a lot.”

Envy me? Wen Qing tilted her head in confusion, she whispered under her breath, “Jiang Yanli, it is I who should be envious of you.” A loud knock on the door signalled to her that the other Yunmeng siblings had learned of their sister’s whereabouts, and were ready to bring on some new exciting and happy stories to share. She smiled, and hoped that one day, she and Wen Ning would have more chances for such moments together.

--

As she approached the pond towards the back of the Yiling Supervisory Office residence, Wen Qing heard a few sniffs. She should have brought some medicine with her. With this rain, Yanli’s fever was sure to be…

But it was not a fever that Yanli was trying to hide this time. Instead, her sniffs came alongside the tears streaming silently down her face. The rain did a pretty good job concealing them, but Wen Qing’s sharp eye and the hint of puffiness around the oldest Jiang’s eyes betrayed the truth.

Wen Qing wondered at Jiang Yanli then. The woman was sitting by the pond, increasingly drenched in the downpour. Despite this, Wen Qing thought that Yanli looked every bit the tragic heroine so often depicted in the fantastic stories and bright, colourful illustrations Wen Qing had loved as a child. She had long assumed such images could only be the product of a very romantic imagination. But here Yanli was. She looked as though she had stepped out of a painting.

While it was good to cry, Jiang Yanli should not have to do so alone, not when Wen Qing knew she was so often the emotional anchor when others needed to let loose. Wen Qing stepped slowly but confidently along the rain-slicked stone path. “Can I sit here?” she asked kindly, gesturing to the rock next to Yanli’s. Wen Qing held her umbrella over her guest.

“Oh!” Yanli started, leaning a bit too far to the left. Wen Qing gracefully caught her at the elbow before she could slip off the stone. Yanli blinked, “Thank you. Yes. Yes of course you can sit. Sorry.” She turned her head away, moving to wipe her tears with the back of her hand.

Wen Qing caught her hand, “It’s ok. I am happy to see you let some of your tears out. It’s not good to keep them bottled up you know.”

Yanli choked out a small laugh, timidly glancing at her held hand, “But A-Xian… A-Cheng… I need to…”

“They’re not here.” Wen Qing cut her off, Yanli would not be the first patient who she had had to talk down, “I am, and you are, and they’re back inside, safe. I want to make sure you are safe too.” Wen Qing gripped Yanli’s hand firmly.

Yanli’s gaze shifted up, meeting Wen Qing’s eyes, she nodded, “Of course. If you are telling me as my doctor I…”

“Not just as your doctor.” Wen Qing corrected, refusing to break the eye contact that was quickly drawing heat to her face, “As someone who cares about you, Jiang Yanli. I’m telling you right now, you can let it out.”

This seemed to be enough to break the already strained dam. Yanli buried her face in her hands, and sobbed. “They’re gone, Wen Qing. They’re all gone. Mother. Father.” Yanli’s shaking intensified, “The Juniors. The Seniors. I think I may even have lost A-Cheng and A-Xian. The things they must have seen… Oh, Wen Qing, I’m just… I’m so useless!” Yanli wailed, folding over onto Wen Qing’s shoulder.

Useless? Wen Qing pet her awkwardly on the back, unsure how to even begin refuting such a baseless statement.

The crying stopped, but Wen Qing could feel that Yanli had not relaxed. If anything, she had tensed in Wen Qing’s arms. “It’s because of me he lost his golden core, you know.” Yanli whispered, muffled by Wen Qing’s robes such that Wen Qing could only barely make her out.

What? Wen Qing took Yanli firmly by the shoulders and pushed her back into an upright decision, “No. No it was not.” Wen Qing did not even bother to quell her fierce tone, or to leave room for the possibility that Yanli was right.

“If I… if I had been awake, if A-Xian hadn’t had to go get medicine for me, A-Cheng wouldn’t have been able to slip away.” Yanli’s voice was eerily quiet after the loud sobs moments before, “I should have kept an eye on him and then…”

“And then the Wen soldiers would have stopped looking for you? And Wen Chao would forget about you, would have stopped wanting to set Wen Zhuliu on any of you that he could get his hands on? That’s what would have happened if you had not had a fever?” Wen Qing shook her head firmly, “No. No it would not.”

“But if I were stronger, if I had ever properly formed a golden core myself I at least could have helped instead I just…”

“When we were younger, my brother had some of his spiritual cognition forcibly taken while I sat right there, beside him.” Wen Qing hadn’t really meant to say that out loud, to cut Yanli off, but it had gotten Yanli’s attention. Her eyes had gone wide.

“Wen Qing! I’m… I-I can’t imagine what that must… you have been so strong.”

“Are you not going to blame me for not stepping in front of my brother? Or pulling him aside?”

“No… why would…?”

“I could have saved him then a lot more easily than you could have saved Jiang Cheng, while you were recovering from a fever and severe shock.” Wen Qing caught Yanli with a steady gaze, still holding her at arm’s length, “So if you are to blame for Jiang Cheng’s golden core, then I should blame myself for failing to save Wen Ning, for not saving more of my clan, when I had the chance. Is that what I should do?”

Yanli fell silent. Wen Qing tried to maintain her hard look until Yanli admitted she was wrong, but her chin betrayed her, wobbling despite herself, and she could feel the pricks of tears of her own threatening the corners of her eyes.

“Oh, Wen Qing.” Yanli reached out and gently stroked the other woman’s trembling jaw, before snapping her hand back quickly, “Sorry.”

Wen Qing reached out, cupping the side of Yanli’s head in her hand, “Please, no more apologies. You’ve truly done nothing wrong” Yanli smiled and leaned into her hand.

Just as quickly as the rain had started, it stopped. Yanli pulled her head back from Wen Qing’s hand, as Wen Qing withdrew her other hand from Yanli’s shoulder. They giggled, breaking the tension of the warmth they’d each felt at the other’s touch, and looked out over the pond. Fresh sunbeams danced on the water’s surface, kissing the petals of a single lotus, glorious in its full bloom.

“Come.” Wen Qing commanded, pulling Yanli up beside her, ”Let’s get you into some dry clothes.” Wen Qing put a hand to Yanli’s forehead and tutted, “You will never recover if we don’t warm you up and make sure you rest.”

“Mmm.” Yanli agreed, taking the arm Wen Qing offered.

--

Wen Qing still had medicines to prepare, patients to tend to, shopping to do, and all that on top of her and Wei Wuxian’s research. But she was even busier than that. Each and every day, she made time for Yanli. And whether they cooked together (Wen Qing could cobble together a subpar version of the lotus and rib soup now) or prepared tonics (Jiang Yanli picked up the importance of maintaining temperature and the various scents of different medicinal herbs quickly), they treasured this time. Together, they formed their own little oasis, where they could, for at least a little while, ignore the storm building just outside.