#how do you do it neil

[allysketches]

gets in charge of the bookshop for 1 (one) day: shows up in a cardigan vest and metal sleeve garters, keeps the shop CLOSED, avoids selling a single book... iconic, truly did THE MOST, 10/10 😩👌🏻

(also, the way he was this 🤏🏻 close to finally achieving the status of house husband he's been dreaming about for MILLENIA just to have the rug pulled out from under him last minute... truly DEVASTATING 😩 my girl really can't catch a break 🤧)

[angry-kid-with-no-money]

"Nora doesn't know anything about the things she writes about" "aftg is terrible queer rep" "the queer characters in aftg are so problematic"

Idk guys maybe the book series abt problematic ppl set in 2006 and written in the mid 2010s shouldn't be expected to hold up against scrutiny of what we consider to be moral and correct now, in 2024

Idk tho, idk

[wedielikemen]

Okay yes we know that Andrew sprinted, dashed, HURTLED even, when he saw Neil on his knees even after blocking 150 + attempts on his goal because he loves that man. But also-

It had been Andrew’s idea to put Neil against Riko in the first place.

For Andrew it was reach Riko or die. (Die knowing that his contributing to exy ended Neil’s life.)

[foxstens]

kevin day

watched a man be cut into pieces when he was 12 so he would understand what happens to those who defy the moriyamas

was raised in a cult, subjected to extreme labour and pressure and expectations from a young age, running on 16 hour days with no privacy and little to no autonomy

was raised in an environment where everything hinged on his ability to play. was deprived of food and rest if his performance wasn't satisfactory

was abused physically, emotionally, psychologically by his coaches, his godfather, his 'brother'. was forced to watch said brother inflict unimaginable torture on his friend for years

was forced to hide all of that due to also being a celebrity and growing up in the public eye

unexpectedly had to remove himself from that toxic but familiar environment, leaving his friend behind, in order to survive

had to learn how to function outside of that environment while adapting to a new team and using his non-dominant hand for everything in mere months

so yes i think he deserves some respect

[falafels]

i can’t stop thinking about neil and andrew’s cats. like sure it’s objectively quite funny that they’re called sir fat cat mccatterson and king fluffkins, sir and king for short. however. HOWEVER.

imagine this. you are Kevin Day. you have been physically free from the cult you grew up in for nearly seven years now (it will never leave your head. it taught you what you love and poisons whatever it can). you got out, your friend got out, and you’re learning to live with the hole in your heart shaped like the monster you loved. you’re healing. you have family, you have friends, and your two closest friends have decided to get cats.

you are invited to meet the cats, and you say you don’t care about the cats but go anyway. your friend opens the door with his usual contemptuous apathy while your other friend is trying to get one of the cats out from under the sofa. the other friend introduces the cats to you while the first one pretends not to care. he says “the orange one is sir, she’s obese because andrew keeps letting her finish his vile chocolate drinks. the one under the sofa is king.”

KING?????????

and you have to pretend to be so normal about the fact that the brother you grew up with wholovedyouandhatedyouandwantedtoliveinyourskinandruinedeverythinghetouchedincludinghimself, who was killed largely on the word of these two friends, who you’re doing whatever you can to move on from, NOW SHARES A TITLE WITH THIS CAT. and the cat won’t even come out from under the sofa to say hi

props to kevin i’d have shot myself in front of neil and andrew

[blackfangedhellhound]

fascinating how many tumblrinas will come out going "i support all victims. i support victims soooo much. however i just don't think we have enough information. have you considered the lack of information? here's 30 reasons these victims can't be trusted. it's politically motivated. kinda seems like they want to ruin this nice man's life?" and by fascinating i mean completely inating

[floretissogay]

neil never hangs up first on andrew btw. he never says "bye" when talking to anyone and he always hangs up first on everyone except andrew, with whom he will sit in silence until andrew is ready to hang up

[starjunkyard]

Anderperry first kiss... 😭💭

[suitetarts]

neil's southern us accent .... uhhhhh 😳

[odetojupiter]

so, we know that abuse and victim responses to abuse are very central to aftg, but what i find interesting is how other characters respond to the victim’s reactions, especially when it comes to mourning their abuser. there’s something about kevin mourning riko, aaron mourning tilda, neil mourning mary, andrew mourning cass, thats so important to me because it really truly highlights how even when people are united through similar traumas, the differences in their situations makes it impossible to fully understand the relationship a person has to their abuser. neil, aaron, and andrew are united through the abuse, neglect, or - what the fuck is the word i’m thinking of? permit? condone? i mean, knowingly allowing it to happen and not intervening - stemming from a maternal figure. but neil can’t understand why andrew would hold on to cass for so long - he refused to let her go until aaron came into the picture. and andrew can’t understand why aaron would mourn for tilda, potentially viewing aaron’s grief as a betrayal of their promise. and they all ridicule kevin for his reactions to riko. of course, neil and andrew are also abused by riko, but they still can’t understand the complicated relationship between kevin and riko because, at the end of the day, they just weren’t there.

i mean this is primarily an observation but i really love how trauma and trauma response is depicted as nuanced, complex and overall just difficult to understand from an outsider perspective in the books. it reads as really real, and though it can be frustrating when a character doesn’t understand a different character’s response, you have to understand that their perception of said character’s response is warped by their own experience of abuse.

andrew bounced from home to home, never had stability, so obviously he held tight on to the first mother-figure that didn’t outright hurt him. his self-worth was probably low enough that he thought living with drake was a fine price to pay to keep cass.

neil only ever had his mother, and he’d willingly accept her harsh hands because he believed she was just keeping him safe from the very real dangers that were closing in on them.

aaron was dealing with an addiction, and so was his mother; he was equally dependent on her to avoid withdrawal as he was scared of her anger.

i don’t really have a point anymore but you get what i’m saying

[renrapp]

GOOD OMENS 2.04 "The Hitchhiker"

[mitskiluvr]

My dealer: got some straight gas 🔥😛 this strain is called Rise from the Ashes 😳 you’ll be zonked out of your gourd 💯

Me: yeah whatever. I don’t feel shit.

5 minutes later: dude I swear I just saw jake marshall in the evidence room

My buddy Ema pacing: damon gant is lying to us

[kevindavidday]

okay but jean having a breakdown post tsc 2 interview and all three of his love interests rushing to him to console him in various ways and it overwhelms him so much he ends up leaving them behind to sit next to neil instead

[lucky-slice]

Do you understand how much kevin respects neil? And i don't mean when it comes to exy, like sure there's a whole lot of you're not good enough followed by you will make court bluh bluh bluh, i mean fundamentally as a human.

Kevin and Neil's conversation after the truth of Neil's father is revealed drives me absolutely insane because I think it highlights a lot about how Kevin views Neil.

so indulge me for a bit....

I think a lot of people forget, in light of Andrew choking Kevin for not telling him the truth, that Kevin's initial reaction was to tell Neil to run.

*sorry for the quality - these are all screenshots off my phone

Kevin's instinct is to tell Neil to save himself, despite what that would mean for the team's success and for Kevin himself. This is significant to me for two reasons.

It highlights that Kevin genuinely cares about Neil outside of his exy potential. For most people, this would be a pretty obvious response to finding out your teammate has a guaranteed death sentence if they stick around, so it might not seem all that meaningful, but Kevin was raised in such an environment were you continued to play no matter what - even at the risk of death. Kevin is unflinchingly callous when it comes to exy and his teammates (*see his reaction to Seth's death), but he is frantic in his concern for Neil in contrast to his fairly passive response to basically anyone else's wellbeing outside of exy. Neil's death will have no real impact on Kevin. If Neil dies or goes to the ravens, nothing changes for Kevin. He is not at a greater risk of being hurt by Riko or the Moriyama's nor will his exy career be effected. That's not to say he would tell Neil to stay if he cared about him any less, but there is a desperation that implies a depth beyond just that of a teammate.

The fact that Kevin is frantic and desperate for Neil to leave, gives weight to his decision to keep teaching Neil in the aftermath of the revelation.

Neil doesn't want to run - he wants to be Neil Josten until the end. He gave Kevin his game and now he's asking him to keep it and Kevin obliges.

This is essentially Kevin promising that he will keep Neil's secret. He will allow Neil to wear his mask and continue teaching him despite the fact that Neil is essentially a dead man walking. This, to me, is Kevin ultimately respecting Neil and his choice. At any moment, Kevin has the ability to got to Wymack or Andrew and give Neil the chance at surviving, but that would mean betraying Neil.

Some people (certainly the foxes) would view refusing Neil's request as the proper and morally correct thing to do. But I think Kevin's immediate acceptance of Neil's decision is both immensely meaningful to Neil and also a signifier of a shared understanding between to two.

Imagine how impactful it must be for Neil, who has never had autonomy over his own life and has been marked for death basically since he was born, to be told that not only will his decisions and his autonomy be respected, but there is someone who will stand by his side on the court, knowing the whole truth, until the very end.

Kevin doesn't have much to offer Neil at this point. He can not give him a future - he'll be long dead before he can ever make court, and Kevin is a coward - he is not andrew, he can't stand up against the Moriyama's or Riko or Neil's father. Kevin can not protect Neil in a way that matters. All he can do is promise to keep Neil's secret and offer him a few more months of being Neil Josten.

I'm not including this to disparage Andrew or to suggest that he does not respect Neil, but this highlights that Kevin knows the decision to keep Neil's secret is one only Kevin would make. Andrew without a doubt would immediately try to get Neil to leave or attempt to get him into protection. I'm not passing a judgement of morality on what would've been the right thing to do, but I do think Kevin's reaction is indicative of the fact that Neil and Kevin understand each other in a way that no one else really will.

Neil and Kevin are a parallel's in a number of ways. Kevin lived the life that Neil was supposed to have and they are two parts of one story.

To them exy is not a game, but it's not really about exy either. It's about deciding to stay just to play for a couple more months even though you'll wind up dead because playing means you finally get to live after years of being a ghost. It's about playing to be the best no matter what, even though the consequences are having your hand smashed and the life you know completely demolished. It's about playing even though you're shaking with fear and anxiety because you need proof that your life, whether it be running to survive or living under an abusive hand, was not a waste.

Kevin agrees to keep Neil's secret because if the roles were reversed, Kevin would like to believe that he'd be strong enough to ask Neil for the same thing. This is obviously conjecture and a heavy heavy reading between the lines, but I'd like to think there's some truth there.

Finishing up with this line because it makes me a little emotional.

Kevin starts the conversation by calling Neil "Nathaniel" and ends it by calling him Neil again. Its right there in the text, "it was a promise". Kevin is offering Neil a life that is fully his - not his father's, not Riko's, but Neil's to do with what he would like, even if its only for a couple more months. If that's not respect, than I don't know what is.

[constelationprize]

So when Neil Josten wants to keep a binder full of news clippings and pictures as a shrine to Kevin Day in a way to hold on to a good but tainted memory of his childhood and a life he can never have, no one complains. But when I, Riko Moriyama-

[perfecteggpartyland]

Man as much as I love Dan in king's men her getting angry at Kevin for not telling wymack that he is his dad doesn't make sense; like Dan I know you see coach as a father figure like all of them but have you not been paying attention girl?? Like Kevin ran from literal Yakuza and how do u think they would react ; did you think they would send wymack a gift basket if they knew??? It's been established that moriyamas are out of their minds; it does make sense I agree but like; once again they were literally a Yakuza; there was no way they would let wymack live ;at least for me she's human ofc she can have negative traits but like; as someone already said this in comments even Neil and whole team dismiss Kevin being raised in a actual cult and in the books Dan is being the right one ; like Neil at least you went to the nest ? you're supposed to get it the most; why Kevin kept quiet and also are you really surprised why Kevin didn't tell the team ? Yes he's been there for long but he gets treated like shit and constantly dismissed by the foxes? That being said I do love all of them to death and glad they have flaws; but sad they don't get acknowledged as much if you get what I'm saying