#hyperfixating since 2022

[runningupthatvecna]

[horrorgator-terrordile]

Tall lanky shadow man my beloved ❤️

[wachtelspinat]

i can't help but feel like my drawing days are kind of over. not entirely, i'll still be drawing from time to time. and deffo not because i want to. but i'm having this exact same feeling since mid 2022, since i was really struggling with my elective period, i kind of disconnected with art there and never truly found my way back. on top of everything that came after - moving, starting a job and working to be good at it which leaves such little room for other things because i can't handle my life well - there is just so much horrible shit going on. and i'm having a hard time comprehending it.

a part of me also feels very stupid for drawing one thing for almost 4 years now constantly, but another part of me knows "hey, but this makes you happy". it's a constant battle in my head because online spaces are like school grounds, and i don't actually wanna stand in the corner as that one kid that just can't shut up about that one character. but then again all i ever did was drawing fanart so... what does it. who gives a shit. be cringe and be free alright. but it kinda feels so hollow, esp. when you're at it for so long. a lot of mutuals move on. some are not even active anymore anywhere. and i wonder what happened. plus a huge chunk of the tone of the fandom has changed. also with the source material getting butchered so hard (since the release of ow2) it just kills the fun. playing this game used to be fun. playing this game was one thing that helped me getting through the last meters of university. it's like watching the downfall of the simpsons again without making the comparison too set in stone, just... this thing that used to be decent and nice and watching it getting ruined in real time (broken promises about pve, the recent gameplay changes?? the lore was fucked up from the start but they kind of tried, now it's just skins for 20+ dollars) while still having feelings for the characters is shit. anyway...

i recently went through a big folder of stuff i'd drawn at the age of 12-15 and there were so many fucked up but cool monster and cyborgs designs and just silly stupid stuff and all i could think of was that i felt so distanced from it, like i don't even know i think this is normal? because a lot of time has passed and a lot has happened and i knew i've drawn all this but i wasn't able to locate the person who did in my present me now and... it's just so normal that things move constantly forward but i feel like i missed huge chunks and passed a few stops and now i'm kind of lost.

i don't even know what i'm trying to say here anymore. i just feel sad because it feels like sth is slipping out of my grasp or sth has changed tremendously and i don't know how to make damage control.

i keep trying tho, i try to draw once a week at least. it's just like as soon as i take a step back and look at it i don't feel it at all. gonna continue tho, until it makes sense again i hope.

[fried-manto]

Saiou is so sunflower tho

[retrobr]

Well, having the strongest hyperfixation on Lazytown wasn't on my 2024 bingo card, but here we are...

Not that I'm complaining though. This silly-milly show is making me unbelievably happy and I don't even know what to do with that XDD

[shima-draws]

Big shoutout to One Piece for awakening my motivation and inspiration to draw when it was dormant for *checks calendar* over a year

[moonstruckdraws]

Been struggling to start the 3rd illustration, and the change in my schedule hasn't helped lol

I hope I'll have it done this weekend because I really don't have the time to do it later and I want it done before Friday. So I can only really hope for the best.

I might try drawing something else, since I was able to sketch in my sketchbook, and try to get into a better drawing mood. Or take a nap, no downside to that other than I could end up asleep lol.

[rougetveit]

aaron tveit at miscast ’22 

[idiotsofoz]

kind of insane that i've only been into idkhow for like a year and a half with how intense this hyperfixation/special interest is you'd think it's been longer

[eggmeralda]

I may have lost all hope

[ninthwonderoftheworld]

But fr this is one of the longest running fandoms I've been in

[boydykedevo]

Okay actually on the topic of my ongoing “I’m fairly certain I’m autistic” crisis like straight up when people say the difference between a hyperfixation and a special interest is length in time. Give me a fucking numeral value. How long does a hyperfixation last in months. Or is it less than a month even??? Cuz if so like literally nearly everything I’ve called a hyperfixation in my fucking life has been a special interest

[deathchipz]

vosim jink and dee jink have both driven me to draw pokemon again and i fucking love them for that [the jinks themselves belong to @hebezunet of course lol i just turned them into their favourite pokemon <3]

[magentagalaxies]

realizing that someday i will have been a kids-in-the-hall-fan-who-knows-some-of-the-guys-personally for longer than i've been a kids-in-the-hall-fan-who-has-never-met-any-of-the-guys and that day's coming much sooner than i thought

[scattered-winter]

the best kind of enrichment a creature like me can get is a piece of media with such complex worldbuilding and themes that I could spend literal weeks exploring it all. I’m sitting here in my enclosure with theories and headcanons and thoughts about The Narrative and the curse that comes with being a hero with a sworn unkillable enemy

[wetchickenbreast]

i need a fictional show to hyperfixate on i am so fucking tired of youtubers