#i a legit reason to learn 15 sentences by heart

[alabasterfuchs]

Somebody please tell me that it's okay that I memorised my three minute speech by heart right now. I feel like a failure for not using bullet points to speak freely but having whole sentences in my mind. I feel like an actor not an advocate of my team.

[postmodernmulticoloredcloak]

Marghe. MARGHE. I can’t link you like this, but I need you to google “babygaga 20 Italian words baby names” and then fucken liveblog your reaction to the whole article, including (this is v. important) the editorial note at the end. Please I need to witness another soul leaving their earthly body like mine did

I’m scared. Alright.

I suppose you’re talking about an article titled “19 Italian Words That Make Perfect First Names For Babies” (wait, weren’t they supposed to be 20? Did they edit one out?) written by a person called Miriam.

“There’s no better place to find inspiration than in the land of romance and pasta.” Please don’t tell me you want to name babies after pasta. Hello this is my son, Strozzaprete. Wait, no, that’s cool af.

The first sentence is “The Italian language is one of the Romance languages. The others are French, Spanish, Catalan and Romanian” n-ngh-that’s-nevermind.

“They were the languages that originated from the Romans, hence the reason that they are referred to as the Romance languages. And they certainly are romantic. In fact, they are so lovely that many words in any of the Romance languages would sound amazing as baby names.” No, they aren’t. Miriam what are you doing.

Miriam apparently visited a few Italian towns, “and by the end of the trip, I was already speaking basic fluent Italian, which was quickly forgotten after leaving”. Miriam I speak in Italian with American students professionally, you were not speaking fluent Italian.

Miriam. Miriam

“I thought it would be fun to find 20 beautiful Italian words and to talk about how they would make the perfect first names for babies. While some of these words can be found in baby name databases, others can't yet.” MAYBE THERE IS A REASON THEY AREN’T THERE MIRIAM

“Since there are plenty of Italian words that sound beautiful but don't have the best meanings behind them, they may never be considered to be used as a name.” BUT DON’T HAVE THE BEST MEANING?? MIRIAM WHAT ARE Y

19 Peri (Apericena)

That’s. That’s the single ugliest and most hated word in the Italian language and you. You are. Oh God. Oh Jesus. Oh all the saints in Paradise.

Listen there are still 18 to go and the first killed me. I am dead. I am no longer in this plane of reality.

“When you hear the Italian word Apericena, you can't help but appreciate how pretty it sounds.” YOU DON’T!! WE HATE IT WITH A PASSION!!

“After learning that this word is associated with adult beverages, then that would be a reason that some parents would even hesitate to use this for a baby's name. And the question is why? Names like Vin which is French for wine, Bellini which is a cocktail, Cassis, Brandy, Chianti, and Merlot have been used as baby names many times.” WELL THESE NAMES WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE USED AS NAMES EVER THIS IS AGAINST GOD’S PLAN FOR HUMANITY. Why is the Church obsessed with gay people when clearly the thing that most offends God’s love for humanity is thijkjklklklklj

18 Roca (Rocambolesco)

Whatever, call your son Rocambolesco, what’s stopping you, society is in shambles, the devil has taken hold of hearts, angels cry.

17 Gia (Passeggiata)

Miriam

16 Abbi (Abbiocco)

ABBIOCCO

ABBIOCCO

She fucking wants you to call your baby after when you get sleepy when you’re not supposed to

15 Magari

Like, why

14 Lina (Sorellina)

Just give your daughter a fucking complex, why won’t you. Supernatural but the characters are called Older Brother and Younger Brother

“I did a search to see if this word is in baby name databases and I have not seen Sorellina in any of them. That means it either has never been used for a name or if it has, it has been rarely used to the point that it has never been recorded” ASK YOURSELF WHY, MIRIAM

13 Daje

NOOOOO MUOIO STO MORENDO DIO SANTO

12 Meri (Meriggiare)

Literally no Italian can think about this word without thinking of the poem so why won’t you call your daughter Cigola la carrucola del pozzo. Or Ho sceso dandoti il braccio. This is my eldest, Spesso il male di vivere ho incontrato. Wait, this is Supernatural again

“There are many baby names out there that have meanings that are worse than that.” Miriam please think about what you just said

11 Lino

A name? An actual name people have other people call them? Did I get a stroke?

No, of course she’s not referring to the name Lino, but the fabric linen. Of fucking course. Have you met my twins, Cotton and Wool. Fuck, there’s probably people called Cotton and Wool in the United States

10 Gracie (Grazie)

Wait if it’s Gracie then it’s not Grazie, what the hell

9 Gattara

PFFFFT just call your daughter crazy cat lady and she will grow up a normal person I promise

8 Perla 

Actually, that’s a name already. Fun fact, my own name comes from ancient Greek margarita which means pearl, so, can’t judge this one.

7 Allora

a

l

l

o

r

a

6 Lacrima

Listen. Listen. This not only means ‘tear’ as in what your eyes produce when you cry, but it’s also impossible for a native anglophone to pronounce anyway, is it worth it? is it worth it Miriam? is it?

5 Tesoro

No, okay, this is weird as an actual name, but it’s a common way of calling your partner or child, also I watched Lilli e il Vagabondo, it says Tesoro and Giannicaro are legit human names, so.

But it’s also how Gollum calls the ring in Italian, so maybe don’t.

4 Auguri

Fghjklklkjhklkjkl

3 Salve

Dio Santissimo. This is my child, Hello

2 Cucciolo

That’s-that’s- that’s this guy’s name

1 Gio (Giorno)

Oh God, at this point this is fucking normal, just call your child Day, whatever, it’s the least weird option on here

No. No no I don’t wanto to believe t-

Editorial Note: This article has been updated on March 18, 2021 to replace the baby name "Cazzi (Sticazzi), Tura (Sprezzatura), Culaccino, and Lino (Topolino)" for a more suitable recommendation. (March 19, 2021) this article has also been updated to remove an entry

W-what was the entry that can’t even be named. WHAT WAS WORSE THAN STICAZZI

WHAT WAS WORSE THAN STICAZZI, ANON

[justfcrkicks]

01. what’s your name/alias you go by ??

it’s not my real name but i go by cody online, usually.

02. what’s your age ??

nineteen, almost twenty. i feel 12 tho

03. what’s your zodiac sign ??

aries! i added the exclamation point bc we’re supposed to be assertive but i didn’t get the memo.

04. what’s your ethnicity ??

umm what ISN’T my ethnicity is a better question haha. but no i’m mostly italian/sicilian, lots of different other european countries too, and also part native american, but sadly the only person that even knew what tribe was my grandmother who never really shared those details with anyone before her passing.

05. what’s your nationality ??

i am a US citizen :)

06. what’s your favorite band and/or musical artist ??

i can never answer this because i like pretty much every genre of music and my “favorite” is constantly in flux but right now i’ve been listening to a lot of greta van fleet, eminem, harry styles, joyner lucas, tenacious d, and also one specific willie nelson song has been on a constant loop when i’m not listening to the other stuff.

07. what’s your dream job ??

i don’t really have one tbh. lots of people do and that’s awesome, but sometimes people don’t believe me when i say the only thing that matters is that i don’t hate the job and it earns me enough money to live comfortably, maybe own a small house, reasonably priced car, etc. 

08. what’s one place you would love to visit ??

alpha centauri

09. what’s your favorite tv show ??

another one of those things where i can’t pick a favorite. i’ve been enjoying arrow, riverdale, titans, the ranch, sabrina, supergirl, the flash, legacies, and legends of tomorrow lately though. i’m also a big fan of general hospital, the 100, izombie, lucifer, and stranger things.

10. what’s your favorite movie ??

um... tough one but i have always had a soft spot for Joe Dirt, or The New Guy. Also, I really liked Why Him with James Franco, Bryan Cranston, and Zoey Deutch. I mean, not the greatest movies ever but they’re what come to mind when asked, so... lol

11. what’s your favorite song ??

as of the past couple weeks? “cruel cruel world” by willie nelson, or “unshaken” by d’angelo. for weeks before that it was “lucky you” by eminem & joyner lucas. but i really, unironically love “only in america” by riff raff. the video is hilarious and it just puts me in a good mood.

12. what’s your favorite sport ??

is watching tv a sport? haha video games is a sport, right...?

13. what’s your favorite food ??

pizza. or cereal. i have difficulty picking favorites if you couldn’t tell.

14. what’s your favorite face claim to use ??

chris wood or paul wesley, usually. i’ve just used them a lot and gotten used to them. i tried to justify chris wood for john but he’s way too buff to be john and his skinny gifs don’t look nearly enough like john to make any sense.

15. what’s your least favorite face claim ??

andy ballsack biersack. emma roberts. those two bring up bad memories. dylan o’brien. idk why, i like him well enough as an actor. i’m not necessarily opposed to rping with any of them though

16. what’s your favorite canon character to play ??

i played kai parker for a while. that was fun.

17. what’s your sexuality ??

heterosexual. i legitimately cannot remember a time i wasn’t into girls. as a toddler i’d play with barbies to take the clothes off lmfao

18. what’s the last movie you saw in a cinema/theater ??

batman v superman i think. it’s been way too long.

19. what’s the worst injury you’ve ever had ??

i’ve had some bad ones. i broke my wrist/hand in a few different places, which wasn’t too bad. had a sprained/fractured ankle which didn’t heal for like a year. but the worst was when i got assassin’s creed brotherhood as a kid and laid on my stomach across the whole couch, propped up on my elbows for like 7 hours straight. my back was in a u shape the whole time and when i finally moved, that was the moment i realized i fucked up lol

20. what’s a random or interesting fact about you ??

um.... idk i’m boring but maybe that i have lost 120lbs 

21. do you listen to music while you write ??

sometimes. if i find a good playlist (i’m too lazy to make one) that’s not too distracting then sometimes i’ll use it for a while but other times i just like the silence.

22. are you a morning, day, evening, or night writer ??

night. no matter how hard i try my sleep schedule always gets turned upside down eventually to where i get up at like 6 pm and go to sleep at like 10 am, so i usually only write while the skies are dark lol

23. have you ever roleplayed intoxicated ??

nope. i’ve never had a drink or done drugs so that’d be a neat trick. lol

24. what language or languages do you speak ??

only english. i’m probably too dumb to learn another language tbh. though for a while after playing assassin’s creed 2 i’d say random italian sentences and call people “stronzo!”

25. how long have you roleplayed ??

i mean technically i’ve been rping since i was 8 on myspace, but i didn’t move on to legit rp until i was like 11 or 12, then i went to rp.me for a while, then finally got to tumblr around 2012-2013. 

26. favorite roleplay genre ??

i don’t really have one, but i was once in a scifi rp that changed my view on what groups can be, and i think it was my favorite experience ever. everyone was so close and friendly and that made the rp even more fun, so now a good scifi rp brings up those memories for me and makes me enjoy that genre even more.

27. one sound you hate & one you love ??

ok so the sound i hate is nails scratching cotton. not a chalkboard, oddly enough that’s tolerable to me, but nails scratching up against cotton... i have no idea why but it sends chills down my spine lmfao

i love the sound of a crackling fire though. or rain. or rain and a crackling fire. 

28. do you believe in ghosts ??

hell yes i do. pls don’t hurt me ghosts i believe in u

29. do you believe in aliens ??

do i think aliens exist? yes. do i think we’ve been visited by aliens, or that we’re even close enough for them to know we exist? not necessarily. but i do like the ancient alien theory that we were visited by aliens a long time ago and taught stuff. especially when you consider that so many cultures, even those that had no way of being in contact with each other are so similar, have similar thought processes, and progressed at similar rates.

30. do you believe in true love ??

yes & no. i believe that initial attractions can be very powerful in producing a “love at first sight” feeling, but no one is just meant to love another person. i believe you can grow to feel “true love” for anyone assuming the right circumstances.

31. do you hold grudges ??

i’d like to think i don’t but i know i do, at least in the back of my mind. sort of forgive but not forget, but also never 100% forgiving either? idk.

32. do you have any obsessions right now ??

red dead redemption 2. big shock, i know haha. i just can’t get over the ending, the characters, the music, the world, etc. 

33. do you drive & if so, have you ever been in a crash ??

nope & nope

34. do you like the smell of gasoline ??

nooooo it makes me feel sick, honestly.

35. do you prefer writing fluff, angst, or smut ??

all of the above! each has its merits, and writing too much of one thing can get old and make the others feel more appealing. smut gets old the quickest though imo, even though i’ve run a smut rp in the past haha

36. are you in a relationship ??

are you? lmao

37. grab the nearest book to you and turn to page 23, what is the 17the line ??

well it’s a comic/graphic novel so there’s not 17 lines on that page but the second to last line is “and edward nigma... did you know that when the riddler was first transferred to arkham, they had to keep moving him from cell to cell to keep him from being able to formulate an escape?” it’s Batman Volume 10: Epilogue by Snyder & Capullo.

38. put your playlist on shuffle and list the first four songs that pop up:

1. Santeria by Sublime 2. Money Trees by Kendrick Lamar 3. Heart Shaped Box by Nirvana 4. Ladders by Mac Miller

[likeabulletyoucanhurtme]

The 100 (questions that is....not band or TV show)

1. If you were on a 2 hour road trip and could only listen to one song on repeat until the trip was over what song would it be? idk it would depend. Could be Neck Deep - In Bloom but also if you go with Dream Theater - A Change Of Seasons thats only like 4 plays :) 2. If heaven or hell didn’t exist and wasn’t a reward would you still make an effort in being a good person? Atheists believe in good. 3. What’s your poison? Vices etc. JD 4. What’s your favorite thing about your hometown? the football team lol.

5. Are you a better friend to your friends than they are to you? It's a mutual thing that we don't really talk lol. I'm a horrible friend to most people but one did say I was angel, which was a compliment cause she’s religious even though I’m not

6. Have you ever ran a red light? I can't drive, but I ignore traffic signs when walking. They're more of a suggestion than a rule especially in Glasgow.

7. Who is the most influential person in your life? I influence myself; fuck all y'all.

8. Give me a hot take. What’s the unpopular opinion you stand by? Love Island is pish

9. What would the ten year old you think about you now? 10yr old me wanted to be an astronaught so idk lol probably disappointed

10. What’s your favorite city to visit/live in? Town lol I don't do visits

11. Tell me the story of your first kiss. She asked me out and I was kinda dithering but then just as she was walking away I shouted yes at her like a fucking lunatic and she turned around like "....oh." Then we snogged :P

12. What was your yearbook quote (if you didn’t have one what would it be)? The romans didnt invent a great civilisations by having meetings. They did it by killing all those who opposed them.

13. What’s a non-sexual turn on for you? Millie's Cookies <33333

14. Who’s your favorite non-animated movie character? The wee old dear from Last Train To Busan <3

15. You fall into $10K and you have to spend it on yourself and not bills, what do you buy? Gig tickets, alcohol and stuff off my list

16. Have you picked names for your children yet? one

17. Do you have any talents? I'm very good at singing badly

18. Which would you prefer: Netflix and Chill or iTunes and Chill? Netflix or iTunes themselves. I ain't got no chill. And no-ones interrupting me if I'm listening to music/watching something

19. Fill in the blank: I want to ____ your _____. _hug_, _soul_

20. Is once a cheater always a cheater true? idk people can change but I'd say the relationship is forever ruined. Someone that cheated on me might not cheat again, but I wouldn't trust them anymore.

21. In one word, What was the reason your last relationship failed? complacency

22. What’s something therapeutic you do when you’re stressed? listen to music

23. What was your favorite non-Pixar Disney Film? Big Hero 6

24.  Ruin a first date in 5 words or less. "I like country music" :P

25. Drums or Flats? I thought this was about music or highheels but google says its about chicken. And I prefer boneless!

26. Do you remember your last dream? What about? No idea, I don't remember them much I'm just greatful for whatever sleep I can get.

27. Do you want your kids to go to church, synagogue, temple, mosque? why? Never! I don't want to fill their heads with nonsense and a life of trying to conform to outdated arbitrary rules just so they have a good afterlife.

28. If Gerard Butler, Russell Crowe, and Liam Neeson get into a bar brawl who wins? The press?

29. Looking back would you have lost your virginity sooner than you did or later? Sooner. The lateness was not for lack of trying

30. Do you have a favorite book? Not really but it used to be either Reaper Man or The Hitch-hikers Guide To The Galaxy

31. Fuck Marry Kill? Do I get to pick my own??????? Fuck - "Main Course" Marry - hahahaha no Kill - your hopes and dreams

32. Is college worth it? Why? Yes because its good to know things and worth it to get a better job so you're not working beside me :)

33. Favorite Cartoon growing up. idk I can't really remember what I watched.

34. What’s your favorite social media besides tumblr? I'm on Facebook more but that's just to play games mostly

35. Does your first crush still look good? I don't talk to her anymore but her pictures aren't too bad

36. Do you think starting a gofundme is begging or helpful? Depends on the reason, like I've seen one just for a sesh which is fucking stupid, but like Americans do them for medical bills or some legit reasons.

37. Sesame Street or Barney? Sesame Street! Cookie Monster<3

38. What you’re favorite R&B Album of all time? I hate them all.

39. What movie(s) do you know all the lines to by heart? I can quote bits of films but probably not the whole film

40. Would you date someone you met on here? idk like I prefer this as a more anonymous space to share things and rant about people who actually know me. If I'm doing this right no-one I meet on here should figure out who I am :) But yes I'd date y'all cause you're all wonderful peoples

41. Would you rather be too hot or too cold? Too cold, it's Scotland you know?

42. Would you date yourself? I dont think I could put up with my own shit. And if it was like really my personality in a female form we'd be far too fucking shy to speak to each other.

43. Apple or Android? Android, Apple is a cult

44. What is the first song that you can remember learning the lyrics to? Daydream Believer for my aunties wedding

45. What are 3 of your favorite Michael Jackson songs? I genuinely do not like any of them but Alien Ant Farm covered Smooth Criminal if that counts?

46. Fill in the blanks: it’s not cheating if ___ ____ ____. you haven't actually kissed or slept with the other person and you're only sharing inappropriate messages on facebook and they've already said they're not a homewrecker... sorry, too specific?

47. Could you put your dreams on hold to support your bf/gf pursuing theirs? my dreams have been crushed so it would depend on what theirs were

48. What’s is the title to your autobiography? The Life And Times Of A Fucknut

49. Is there someone you’re trying not to call or text right now? YES! SO MUCH. I want to message her all the time but she hasn't messaged me and i dont want to appear desperate even though I am so I'm not gonna message first although I check every 5mins if shes messaged me

50. What is your favorite emoji or emoji combination? :P or ;)

51. Do you have any deal breakers in relationships? cheating lol.

52. Are you Tre or Doughboy? I had no idea so I googled it and Wikipedia says "Tre is highly intelligent but has a volatile temper and lacks respect" which is so me :) Idk who doughboy is lol

53. Favorite movie? Don't really have one tbh. I have too many I want to watch to bother re-watching something i've seen.

54. How long do you talk to someone before you expect a relationship? when you talk to someone its the start of a relationship in the loosest sense of the word because friendship is still the relationship between two people

55. Ruin a first date in 5 words or less. repeat questions would ruin a date cause it proves you're not listening

56. How old are you and how old do you feel? I'm 29 but I feel the same as i always have

57. Tag your favorite tumblr blog. @evilsupplyco

58. Your house is burning down and your family is safe what is the one material item you’d grab? my phone'd already be in my pocket so laptop?

59. How long until you introduce your bf/gf to your family? theyve met

60. Fill in the blank: All you need in this life of sin is you and your ____. Nope. All you need in this life of sin is you. No and your anything

61. Kobe, Jordan, or Lebron? neither

62. What is your favorite Drake lyric? I hate everything he has ever said

63. Where did you meet the last person you fell in love with? I don't fall in love, I believe I only fall in lust/infatuation/obsession.

64. Do you know your love language? I joined a shitty website to find the answer. Apparently it's physical touch and then words of affirmation.

65. Take a Myers Briggs Personality Test: what are your results? No. I fail at these. The questions are never things that i would do so i feel like im unintentionally lying and it never sounds like me

66. How do you feel about Quentin Taurentino films? Violence and blood what could be better?

67. Fill in the blank: Get you someone who will ______. _worship you as the amazing and beautiful bad ass bitch that you are <-- actual drunken advice from me

68. What’s your favorite movie soundtrack? Spiderman 2 i actually had the album

69. What’s your favorite fragrance on the opposite sex? i dont care what they smell like as long as its not fags

70. Is there any magazine, blog, or publication you read weekly? Nope

71. Will you abstain from sex or go to marriage counseling? Why are these my only options? But I'm not going to counselling, if they have issues then they should just tell me :)

72. There’s two kinds of people in the world: Those who pour ketchup on their fries, and the ones who put it on the side to dip. Which one are you? The one who doesn't order ketchup at all.

73. Rough sex or slow sex? Both. Either. Any lol

73. Have you ever slept with a stranger? Nope. Not that I have anything against it I've just never had the opportunity

74. What’s your dream music collaboration? Produced by who (Dead or Alive)? idk but probably produced by rick rubin cause that guy does eeeeeverything lol

75.  What song will you probably conceive your kids to? Music would just be a distraction

76. Do you have a scripture or quote you live by? Nope

77. Finish this sentence: If men had birth control _____. itd be free

78. How long should sex last? As long as both partners need

79. What music do you listen to when you de-stress? Just whatevers next on the playlist

80. How soon should you text someone after getting their number? The next time you want to tell them something but they arent there beside you?

81. How do you feel about the 80/20 rule? Living in lol but its more like erm 20/80?

82. Is sex a determinate in a relationship? Yeah. Why would you get with someone if you're not at least somewhat attracted to them?

83. Is it wrong to move in with someone or “shack up” before marriage? Nope

81. Send me a never have I ever. Never have I ever enjoyed beer

82. What is your favorite video game of all time? Spyro The Dragon

83. Who is your favorite book/movie character? "SQUEAK" said the Death Of Rats

84. Can you define love as best as you can? Nope

85. Does size matter? I hope not, women like taller guys lol.

86. What is your favorite thing about the person you like? Physically? Personality? idk

87. Five Year plan? Go! Don't get fired, save money, get an actual house, buy stuff off my list?

88. If someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to? idk i dont understand me so why you asking me?

89. Do you think of yourself as a human being or a human doing? Do you identify yourself by the things you do? I don't tend to think of myself at all really... and why would I identify myself?

90. What does emotionally available mean to you? Someone who is not emotionally closed off?

91. Could you go into business with your ex? Hahahahahahahah no

92. What is the last song you sang aloud? I'd Rather Drown ineverletpeopleinandihaveyoutoremindmewhy

93. If someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you? They do. They told me. It sucks cause it changes nothing except igniting that small bit of hope id given up on...

94. How do you prefer to obtain your music Streaming, Downloads, or Physical? Physical albums for artists I like, even though it just goes straight into the laptop anyway i still like having albums

95. Name an artist you like that your friends probably don’t listen to. What friends? But erm Archangels Revenge. I doubt the ex members listen to them as much as I do lol

96. Tag someone that’s probably her baby father. this makes no sense?

97. Post a selfie you really like. nope

98. Do you watch anime? What is your favorite? Death Note or The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya so far, but ive got a lot on my list

99. What’s the zodiac sign of the last person you dated? Aquarius

100. Do you know Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior? I know that he is not either.