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lavenderjacobs · 4 years

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fluff alphabet - karl jacobs

tw; none just pure fluff >.< wc; 2K pronouns; tried my best to make it gender neutral <3

A=Attractive (What do they find most attractive in a partner?)

Karl just loves looking at your pretty face. He loves the familiar feeling he gets when he looks at you. He loves your nose and how it feels under his fingers. He loves the way your face fits perfectly on his shoulder. He loves cupping your face with his hands and looking into your eyes. It might be really cheesy, but Karl also just adores your smile. This man just melts at the way you’re entire face lights up when you laugh.

B=Best memory (Their favourite memory of you)

Karl is a simple man lmao. Obviously he loves going out and doing fun things with you. But he would way rather enjoy your company in private. Just the two of you. His favourite memories of being with you probably consist of being cuddled up and completely devoured by blankets while watching a movie. Or you sitting on his lap while he plays Minecraft, struggling to stay awake while he keeps planting little kisses on the top of your head.

C=Cuddles (What type of cuddles do they like?)

OMG KARL IS SUCH A HOE FOR CUDDLES. Whenever you two lay in bed together he just holds you so close to him the entire time. He just loves feeling you so close to him and knowing that you’re safe and happy. He loves being bigger spoon so he can wrap his arms around you and rest his head on top of yours, but he definitely won’t complain about being little spoon either. He loves resting his head on your chest, just listening to your heartbeat as he has his arms wrapped around your waist.

D=Dirty mind (Do they have a dirty mind?)

Karl definitely has a dirty mind oops. He is very open about it too. He can be very soft with you but when he’s whore knee he just wants to have his way with you. That can mean planting sloppy kisses on your neck from behind you while your just minding your business in the kitchen, or giving you ‘that’ look when you come out of the shower with just a towel wrapped around your body.

E=Effort (How much effort do they put in the relationship?)

Karl is on it 24/7 to make sure your happy. He loves planning little dates, even if it’s just a walmart run or a drive around the neighbourhood, he just wants to spend time with you. Whenever you’re going through a tough time he will drop everything to make sure you’re okay. For example he could be streaming, and you would text him saying you’re sad, not knowing he would be streaming, and he’d just end the stream right there to go spoil you with cuddles and loving words.

F=First date (What was your first date together)

Your pre-dating relationship was probably either a friends to lovers one, or an enemies to lovers one. Constantly teasing each other but everyone, including your friends, would know what was really going on. You probably got tricked into going on a date with him for the first time, both acting like you hated it but secretly falling harder and harder for each other with every second.

G=Gentle (How gentle are they with you?)

This dude literally treats you like he could break you. He hold your hands like they’re little butterflies and plants the softest kisses on your forehead. He’s also super protective and possessive of you. He hates the thought of you going out alone, and whenever you two are at a party or something he’s just constantly holding your hand or having his arm wrapped around you, to show you’re his.

H=Hands (Do they have nice hands?)

To be honest, Karl’s hands are probably one of his best features. He takes such good care of them and loves wearing rings. He also loves wearing black nail polish, and constantly wants you to polish his nails for him. He could easily do it himself but that’s not the point lol

I=Impression (What was their first impression?)

The first time Karl saw you walk into a room he lost his breath for a second no joke. He was just so taken aback by your charming attitude and thought you were the most gorgeous person he had ever seen. He just immediately walked up to you to ask you for your name.

J=Jealousy (Do they get jealous often? If so what do they do?)

Karl is such a pouty little jealous boy. He gets really whiney and needy in public when you’re not giving him enough attention. Whenever he sees someone hitting on you, he just gets extra lovey-dovey with you, wanting to make sure everyone knows you’re his. You would know exactly what was going on but just play along with it. One time you joined him on a filming day with the mr beast crew. All the boys would give you lots of attention, making flirty jokes mostly just to mess with Karl. Which worked because oh my god you had never seen him so touchy. You would ask him what was up and he would act like nothing was bothering him. “I’m fine why? Am i not allowed to show affection to my gf/bf/so anymore?”

K=Kisses (What type of kisses do they like/give?)

Anything that has to do with touching you, Karl is a sucker for. (have I mentioned this man’s love language is 100% physical touch?) He litarally kisses your neck or forehead every 5 seconds, it’s just his way of showing he’s there. He doesn’t shy away from pda either. He won’t hasitate to kiss you passionately in front of a crowd of people. He doesn’t care who’s watching, all he cares about is you.

L=Love (Do they show their love?)

As I said, this dude’s love language is definitely physical touch. After that probably comes quality time. He will get super pouty if the two of you haven’t gotten to properly spend time with each other for a while. For example, whenever you’re on your laptop working on something for school or work he will get super whiney, constantly begging for you to get off your laptop and come cuddle with him. He’s less good at expressing his love through words of affection. Obviously, this man tells you he loves you all of the time, but he gets scared about having deep conversations about your relationship, he’s just scared he’ll say something stupid and mess it all up.

M=Memory: (Their favourite memory in general?)

His favourite memory in general 100% has something to do with you. If he had to pick one, it would probably be that one time he introduced you to all his friends from the SMP. He’d be on a videocall on discord with Dream, George, Sapnap, Alex, Tommy, and Wilbur. They had been begging to meet you since forever, but he always said no, because he was scared they’d say something to embarrass him. But after some persuasion of you, he finally gave in. “HOLY FUCK I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’RE REAL THATS SO POGGERSS!” Alex yelled when you joined the call and sat next to Karl. You burst out laughing. You all just played Minecraft and messed around with each other for that night. All of Karl’s friends really liked you, and Karl himself couldn’t be prouder.

N=Nickname (What nicknames do they call you?)

He has practically replaced your real name with “Baby” at this point. He loves calling you baby or babe in front of other people to show that you’re his. But when it’s just the two of you he would definitely be the type of guy to call you something really cheesy like sweetheart or darling. You love it tho :)

O=Over (What happened the one time you ‘broke up’?)

The only thing you and Karl would ever fight about would be whenever your schedules would clash and you would spend less time together because of work/school. A lack of communication and both being exhausted lead to a huge fight once. Ending with you both thinking it just wasn’t gonna work out like this. You had slept in a nearby hotel for a night or two, basically crying yourself to sleep every night, because Karl wasn’t laying next to you. After a few days of both being miserable you realized that the two of you are meant for each other. You showed up to your house again, and almost tackled Karl with how fast you ran into his arms. “I’m never letting you go again.” He whispered in your ear.

P=Parents (What would they be like as a parent?)

You and Karl both think it’s too early to have children, but you love just having endless conversations about how amazing it would be to have a little baby of your own. Just fantasizing about showing the little thing off to all of your friends, thinking of ridiculous baby-names together. Everytime you have these types of conversations you just melt at the thought of Karl actually being a dad one day. He’d be perfect for it.

Q=Quirk (Something special about them)

I’m not saying homeboy has abandonment issues but....whenever you get up in the middle of the night to go get some water or something, he either gets very twitchy in his sleep, or wakes up right away and asks you where you’re going. “Y/N?” He says with a sleepy voice. You reach out for his face in the dark and gently ruffle your fingers through his hair. “Only getting some water baby, I’ll be right back.” You reassure him.

R=Romantic (How romantic are they?)

Karl doesn’t want things to feel forced. He just wants things to be effortless. Big romantic gestures and fancy restaurants scare him. He has a very specific way of showing his affection to you and you know this, so you don’t expect him to wake you up with breakfast in bed or anything. Making it even more special whenever he does pull something like that.

S=Sad (What are they like when they’re sad?)

Karl didn’t really like showing any emotion to you whenever he would be sad, he felt like he’d be bothering you with his problems. But after you explained to him that you just want to be there for him whenever he’s feeling down, he started warming up to you. Sometimes he would just crawl in bed with you hiding his face in your shoulder. You would play with his hair while he talked to you about what bothered him. He always feels so comforted and safe with you.

T=Together (What are they like when you’re together?)

Karl can be super hyper. Constantly wanting to do stuff like bake cookies or play minecraft with you. You’d obviously always be down to do these types of things with him. But he could also really find the joy in simple things like just watching a movie or getting his nails painted by you. Whenever you would have these types of moments, Karl just keeps cracking little jokes to make you laugh. He also would be telling you how much he loved you every 5 seconds. Just so you know.

U=Understanding (How understanding and empathetic are they?)

Sometimes Karl can have a little trouble trying to get into your mindset. But he does think it’s super important to know what you’re going through and do his best to help you. Whenever you’re dealing with anxiety or depression, he makes sure to ask you what he can do to help you and be there for you. He tries to do as much research as possible, trying to find the best way to help you.

V=Value (What do they value most about the relationship?)

Karl cherishes the relationship you have for so many reasons. One of the most important ones being that he can have fun with you. Both understanding each other’s type of humour, finding joy in the same types of things. He just loves that you know and understand exactly how his brain works, because it’s very similar to yours.

W=Wedding (Would they want marriage? If so what would they like?)

Karl literally proposed to you 2 months into dating. He knows you’re the one. It’s very clear to him. But after discussing it you both decided that having a wedding would be way too stressful right now. It’s definitely not that you wouldn’t marry him, obviously you would, but you both know that breaking up just isn’t an option, so why go through all that trouble, just to get it on paper? You both agreed on this, but after all Karl just wants to see that ring on your finger, just so he knows you’re his forever.

X=X-Ray (How well can they read you?)

Earlier in your relationship, Karl would often have trouble reading you, he would be very hyper and touchy with you, and would just be completely oblivious to the fact that you where sad or tired or something. But as he got to know you better, he learned exactly how to tell when you’d be sad. He knew to get you some food, put on a tv show and play with your hair, without you having to tell him you weren’t feeling like going out or doing something extravagant.

Y=Yuck (What they would never want in a partner)

Karl would hate to be in a relationship with someone who isn’t in it for the same reason as he is. He doesn’t like to ‘date around’. He want’s someone who was a very similar vision of their future, so that’s why he’s so lucky he found you. The most reoccurring arguments you two have are about not agreeing on your future. He finds it very hard to compromise and doesn’t just ‘agree to disagree’.

Zzz (How do they sleep around you?)

Karl just has to touch you in some way when he’s sleeping. Having his arms wrapped around you, having his legs intertwined with yours, resting his face in the crook between your head and shoulders, you name it. He also loves to hold hands whenever you two are sleeping. As i said, this man gets very icky about you leaving him when he’s sleeping. So, he just wants to know you’re there. All of the time.

#karl jacobs #karl jacobs imagine #karl jacobs headcanons #fluff alphabet #karl jacobs fluff #karl jacobs x reader #mcyt #mcyt imagine #mcyt headcanons #mcyt fluff #mcyt x reader #catb0ykarl writes

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writertitan · 3 years

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Grandfather Clock (III)

pairing: levi x f!reader

word count: 7068 (oops)

themes: adult f!reader, arranged marriage, multi-part fic, levi is a stubborn asshole at first, no love at first sight here folks

a/n: the final part!! enjoy!!!

Read Part 1 Here

Read Part 2 Here

On the 20th day of Levi’s engagement to you, he found himself tense, frowning, and sitting across a less than pleased Erwin, right in the commander’s office.

Erwin sat at his desk, deep discontent written all over his face, with his arms folded tightly across his broad chest.

Levi knew the scolding was coming and cursed himself in his head for being so careless. He hadn’t really meant too much by it. Mike had just been asking him how things were going as they walked down the hall together and the words had just tumbled out. Levi didn’t like talking about his personal life in general, mostly because he had hardly had one prior to getting engaged, but now he was extra wary.

“Not much to tell. Just thankful she agreed not to have an actual wedding and to prolong it as long as possible.”

That was all he’d said and he’d said it with a tone of finality that Mike understood well. It was the tone that warned not to push it any farther.

It was just Levi’s luck that Erwin had rounded the corner as the words left him. The commander had bristled as he processed what Levi had said and then blurted out that he needed to see the shorter man immediately, in his office.

Levi had never seen Mike hurry off so quickly before.

And now here he was, tense and waiting for Erwin to lash out at him.

The words came moments later, but Levi didn’t get yelled at, which made him feel worse. Erwin was quiet, stern, and very open with his disappointment.

“Is it true? You really asked that of her?”

“Yes,” Levi sighed, running a hand over his tired face. “I did.”

“You didn’t even consult me about it. Levi, I hope you know I’m trying to grant you as much freedom as I can in this situation, but this was out of line. I’m sorry, but you don’t have that kind of say.”

Erwin’s words made Levi wince a little, but he tried to keep a stoic face. He could see that the commander was waiting for him to say something, but Levi didn’t quite know what to say.

He thought of you for a moment, and thought about how confused he’d been lately, and then looked at Erwin with a hint of a frown.

“You’ve hardly given us any freedom,” he blurted out, and then cursed himself yet again. He’d used the word “us” instead of “me” and he knew that Erwin would catch wind of that.

He did, and he even seemed to soften up a bit, raising a brow curiously.

And then Erwin used you as ammunition.

“You’ve stripped away any semblance of choice left for her by making her agree to your terms. She has even less freedom than you. Is that what you wanted?” Erwin asked, but the question was more rhetorical than anything.

Levi’s frown grew deeper. His mind went back to you, how broken you’d looked when he’d said he didn’t want a wedding day, and how he wanted to wait as long as possible to actually be married. And then his mind took him to that day you were feeling unwell, and how that same broken expression appeared when he’d gotten upset with you.

His chest grew heavy when he realized he had helped in breaking you.

And even worse, he hadn’t gone back to visit you after that day, when you had fainted. It had spurred too many mixed emotions in him and he had wanted the space to clear his head. And you had confirmed you were still unwell in your most recent letter to him from yesterday.

But maybe you were lying. Maybe Levi had broken you so much that you wanted to start keeping your distance from him.

That’s what he wanted, right?

Is that what you wanted?

Erwin’s unanswered question echoed in his mind.

If that was what he’d wanted, why did he feel this way, so horrible, after being called out by Erwin?

“I just don’t know what to do,” Levi finally said, unable to meet Erwin’s gaze.

Erwin hummed and sat back in his chair, arms now unfolded as he looked at Levi. The conversation had gone way beyond Levi’s little mistake. As much as he wanted to help his friend, there was a reason Erwin had been wandering the halls. He had, in fact, been searching for Levi. And he had, in fact, been wanting to discuss the topic of you. It had been mere coincidence that Erwin had caught Levi’s confession.

“Talk to her,” Erwin said, eyes on Levi, who was still looking anywhere but at him. “And I’d suggest going today. There was a reason I’ve been looking for you.”

At that, Levi flickered his eyes to Erwin, a hint of curiosity in them. And, dare Erwin say, even a little bit of worry hid behind the silver.

“Well, spit it out,” Levi said, already making to stand up. “What happened? Is something wrong?”

Erwin also stood up, slowly and deliberately, and didn’t know how to answer that.

“There’s been some...civil unrest recently. Some of the working class citizens have been getting riled up because of some recent unfortunate events with the upper class,” Erwin explained, watching carefully for Levi’s reaction. “Some of my intel has told me there’s talk of a few riots being planned.”

“What kind of ‘unfortunate events’ are you talking about?” Levi pressed, arms at his side with hands clenched into fists. This didn’t sound good.

“Seems like your fiancee’s father has been in some bad business deals that affected a lot of his workforce. And he’s got quite the workforce, if you remember,” Erwin murmured, looking a little thoughtful as he tried to gage Levi’s reaction. “I was looking for you to tell you that I’d like for you to go and check on things. I’m not sure how extreme the situation is.”

Levi was already halfway out of the office and didn’t bother to answer. He was, without a doubt, upset.

Upset that Erwin didn’t let him know about this immediately.

Upset that it would take a while to get to you.

And, curiously, he was upset that he was upset. What the hell was going on with him?

In your parlor room, you were curled up on the sofa and reading your favorite book. It took all your willpower to try not to think about how, just a few days ago, Levi had touched those very same pages.

He’d kept his distance since then, though you had certainly had some part in that by sending him a note to say you were still sick. It wasn’t true at all and you’d felt almost back to normal the next day, but you couldn’t really face Levi yet. Despite forgiving him and allowing yourself to have a little bit of hope that things would turn out okay for the two of you, it was obvious that Levi was still on the fence with you, and had a very specific opinion about who you were despite not getting to know you.

You were using this time away from him to think of ways to show him that you weren’t that way at all, and that his impression of you was, truthfully, completely off the mark.

As the grandfather clock sounded off at noon, it brought you back to reality. You set your book down, not that you’d actually been reading much of it, and sighed when your stomach grumbled. Definitely lunchtime.

You stood up and stretched, about to walk to the kitchen and bother Chef Erlo when you realized something seemed...off.

The clock struck noon for a final time and you realized that that was the only sound you could really hear from all over the house. Silence engulfed you when the grandfather clock stopped, and you peered out into the hallway, baffled when you saw absolutely nobody in sight.

Feeling like you couldn’t break the silence, you stayed quiet as a mouse as you made your way to the kitchen, hoping to hear the usual bustle of noise there for lunch. Maybe that’s where everyone was. It was lunchtime, after all. Had you forgotten it was somebody’s birthday? Sometimes you’d sneak the staff into the servant’s quarters for a bit of a break and have a little birthday celebration during lunch, but you were sure nobody’s big day was today.

But you didn’t make it to the kitchen. As you got closer to the foyer, you could hear the commotion outside, interrupting the eerie silence in your home. Instead of going to check on things, curiosity got the best of you and you ended up peering out the window to see what was going on. A little gasp left your lips when you saw what was outside.

Hoards of people were at the gates of your home, screaming and shouting profanities as they tried to make their way inside. Your heart sped up at the sight, absolutely terrified at the pure hatred they all wore on their faces. You couldn’t really make out what they were all saying, but you heard the profanities, and you heard your father’s name enough times to know that this was personal.

The guards situated outside at the gate were pushing back as much as they could, and you even see that some of the Garrison soldiers had come to help out, but the crowd seemed to be growing bigger and bigger by the second. At any moment, it would bubble over and spill past the gates of your home.

Right to you.

Once again, after a lifetime of avoiding your father and his business to try and escape it, you were being dragged right into the middle of it instead.

You had to run. The anger outside was something that was almost tangible; you could feel it weighing heavily in the air even from where you stood inside your home. No doubt that someone would try to hurt you just in the belief that it would hurt your father to know they’d gotten to you.

For a brief moment, Levi flashed through your mind, and you sincerely regretted lying to him about still feeling unwell when his face popped to the front of your head. Maybe he would have helped you. Maybe not. The anger you could feel from the crowd outside was unfortunately similar to the anger Levi had bestowed upon you just a few days ago.

As you backed away from the window, you thought of all the different places you could go to hide. So lost in your thoughts, you didn’t register the footsteps sneaking up behind you and gasped when a hand clamped against your mouth to keep you quiet.

Before you could try and scream, a familiar voice whispered in your ear, “Shh, it’s only me. Let’s go.”

You whirled around, tears of relief springing to your eyes as you hugged Greta tightly.

“Greta,” you breathed out shakily, pulling away to look at her with wide eyes. “What’s going on?”

“Let’s not talk here, come on,” she whispered, tugging you towards the servant’s quarters, where you knew the wine cellar was situated. As soon as the door was closed and locked behind the two of you, Greta practically dragged you down the stairs. It was cooler down there and you shivered involuntarily.

There was dim candlelight at the end of the steps that lit up a narrow hallway, one that led towards a heavy wooden door. Chef Erlo was there holding a candelabra with one hand, a silver key in the other.

Your tears of relief spilled over at the sight of him.

“Erlo,” you whimpered, moving to hug him as well. He was just as quick about it as Greta was, gently stepping away from you with a small and sympathetic smile.

“We’ll get you out of here safely, miss,” he promised you.

A pang of fear hit you and you looked between Erlo and Greta, hand at your chest as you thought of the worst.

“And everyone else? Is everyone okay?” you asked them.

From above, you heard glass shattering and heavy thumps. Your heart pounded so hard against your chest that you worried your ribs would crack from the force. The fear you felt in that moment was unparalleled, unmatched by any other situation in your life. You’d never been this scared in your entire life.

“Everyone is safe. Except for you,” Greta said, and she nodded for Erlo to open the door. He unlocked it and hurried you both inside, but you stopped in your tracks when you saw Erlo wasn’t following.

“I’m going to lock the door behind me and slip the key under the crack. That should buy you some time,” he said to Greta, avoiding your gaze.

“What are you talking about? You’re coming with us, it’s not safe here! Something’s happening outside, people are angry and I don’t know why,” you rambled, tearing up again. Greta reached over to squeeze your hand, but everything about it was rushed, too hurried to really be a comfort to you.

Erlo flashed you another small smile, and then gave you a wink, his crow’s feet prominent as he finally flashed his goofy smile.

“I’ll be fine, miss. Don’t worry about me. It’s not me they’re after,” he assured you, but it didn’t make you feel any better.

Chef Erlo was like the father you’d never had. It was impossible to allow him to do this, but Greta held you back as he shut the door and locked it once again, with the key slipping underneath moments later.

Greta let go of you to swipe it off the ground, and then began to push you forward, nearly in the dark save for cracks of light at the door opposite the room.

The faint smell of wine permeated the air and you found yourself wishing for a glass to calm your nerves. Greta led you to the door in just a few moments flat, using the same key to unlock it and hurry through with you in tow.

It was the bulkhead entrance to the wine cellar, where the merchants would come deliver or take some wine. Part of your father’s business. It was where a lot of things were delivered. On the few steps there beneath the wooden doors, there was a maid’s dress and some worn shoes. One look at Greta told you that the new outfit was for you, so you wasted no time in nearly tearing off your dress and kicking off your shoes to put on the much simpler garments and better blend in outside without striking too much attention to yourself. Your current outfit would have been a dead giveaway to your status.

Greta lifted one of the doors up just enough to peer out cautiously as you changed, making sure it was safe to leave. Once she was sure it was, she nodded to you and lifted the door up quietly, keeping it lifted for you to hop up the short steps and out into the spring afternoon.

It was cloudy outside, threatening to rain. As if on cue, a crack of thunder sounded and you felt it was remarkably similar to a cliche in your favorite novel; it always rained whenever your favorite character was feeling upset.

You didn’t have much time to dwell on that. Greta gripped you by the elbow and tugged you away from the house in a pace that was rushed but not too much that it looked suspicious. Now that you were wearing new clothes, you looked like everyone else outside. There was no real need to rush and risk getting caught.

Nobody paid the two of you any mind. The real focus was on your house that was currently getting ransacked.

The sight made your heart sink to your stomach, but your tears had already dried.

It was true that these people were destroying the only home you’d ever known. It was true that in that moment, you were sure you’d never go back to it. But you just couldn’t find it in you to cry about this. Your tears were reserved for your staff and worrying about their wellbeing.

Whatever your father had done, it probably deserved this level of outrage.

Although you were filled to the brim with fear and adrenaline, above all, you felt a peculiar sense of freedom as more and more people pushed their way past the gates of your home to run inside.

Greta gave you a moment to watch the scene before steering you away with promises to explain everything as soon as she got you to safety.

The only time tears actually did threaten your eyes again was when Captain Levi’s face pushed its way into your mind once more.

Maybe you would never see him again. And maybe he’d like that.

Levi was all too familiar with feeling dread settle in his stomach and harden like a rock. He’d experienced it all his life, countless times as he watched comrades die, often such a big part of his nightmares and the reason for his insomnia.

He didn’t expect to feel that rock in his stomach as he approached your home. Rather, what was left of it.

But he felt it settle in his stomach, a dread so heavy that he almost had to hunch over, and he looked on in horror as people continued to run in and out of your home. Many people were running out with valuables in their arms. Others were running inside just to destroy everything in sight.

He was far too late, by the look of things.

His eyes darted around, a futile attempt to locate you, but of course he didn’t see you anywhere.

Soldiers and guards were doing what they could, and Levi could see reinforcements marching in, but it was too late.

It was too late.

Levi hopped off his horse and pushed past people and soldiers alike as he ran into your home, taking in the sight of broken glass and ruined furniture and banged up walls.

It was disgusting.

He went to your room first and only found it ravaged and empty with no signs of life.

Levi knew he was being crazy. Of course he wasn’t going to just find you there. In fact, the thought of seeing you in the middle of all this would have actually been worse. But not knowing where you were had his stomach in knots.

As a last resort, he checked the parlor room, where you’d shared an afternoon that had left Levi questioning himself and questioning you. Mostly himself.

He got there as the grandfather clock chimed at the top of the hour. It was just as ravaged as your room, but curiously enough, he noticed your favorite novel on the ground by where the side table used to be.

He picked it up and clutched it tightly, and then made a promise.

He would find you and he would get your book back to you. It was the only possession you had left in the world, he realized, looking around.

He’d find you.

He wouldn’t rest until he’d found you.

A cup of tea warmed your hands as silence filled the room of Greta’s mother’s kitchen.

The two women stared at you with so much sympathy, and so much worry, that it made you feel loved and yet also a little small at the same time.

Greta had just finished explaining everything to you.

Your father had been atrocious, and had taken advantage of his employees. He was in protective custody because he’d anticipated this riot to happen. Nobody knew where your mother was. It was a miracle that Greta and Erlo had managed to help you and everyone else out before you’d gotten hurt. Or killed.

And now you didn’t know what would happen next.

Your spirits, already low, dimmed even more at the thought of Chef Erlo. You desperately hoped he was okay, and hopefully he was. After all, he’d been correct: nobody was trying to hurt him. Only you and your family.

“Are you sure everybody made it out safely?” you whispered to Greta, who immediately nodded.

“Everyone’s been aware of some of the...tensions around town,” she explained. “We all had an exit plan in the works, just didn’t realize we’d have to implement it so soon.”

You flashed a brief and sad smile, nodding once as you took a sip of your tea.

“Thank you for getting everyone out safely first. It means the world to me.”

In your mind, you were just as responsible for your father’s sins as he was. To think you didn’t even have a clue of what was going on. It was embarrassing.

As if reading your mind, Greta’s mother, May, reached forward to squeeze your arm reassuringly.

“It’s not your fault, darling,” she murmured. “It wasn’t your place to know.”

You sighed softly and kept your eyes on your tea, frowning to yourself. It was true that you had basically been forced to be cooped up in the house, and now you were thinking there was a clear reason behind it now. You hardly had much say in your day to day schedule, especially after getting engaged to Captain Levi. Still, it didn’t feel good to be so in the dark.

And the thought of Captain Levi sent your heart aflutter. Did he know? Had he been aware of this the whole time? Was this part of the reason for your arrangement?

Slowly, you picked up your gaze from your tea to settle on Greta, biting the inside of your cheek before asking the question you were dreading to ask.

“What happens now?”

She didn’t look too sure either as she pondered your question, finally settling for shrugging her shoulders.

“I don’t know, miss,” she answered honestly. “I hate to say it, but it depends on your father. He and your mother will start looking for you once they realize you’re missing.”

The thought made you nauseous. Despite such a horrible outcome of your day, that peculiar feeling of freedom had been what kept you going. There was some sort of thrill attached to it.

You realized it was achingly similar to the hope you felt for your arrangement for Levi. The chance of things looking up, turning around.

All this hope and nothing to show for it.

Now you were hopeless.

News had gotten to Erwin quickly. Levi saw the commander ride in with other squad leaders as he helped beat down and arrest some of the rowdier citizens at your home. He hated to be there and wanted to go off and find you more than anything, but someone there had to have seen you, or seen what happened to you.

So far, nobody seemed to remember seeing you. In fact, some people had sworn to him that the house had been empty of people the entire time. Not a soul in the home at all.

When Erwin stepped past the gates, Levi had never wanted to pummel him so badly. Instead, he shoved a badly beaten merchant towards his commander with a growl, eyes nearly feral as he found the calm blue ones that he hated more than anything at the moment.

“You said there was civil unrest. You didn’t say there was an entire fucking mob,” he snapped.

Erwin remained calm, casually stepping over the merchant to get closer to Levi.

“Seems I was deceived,” he admitted, looking around. “Her father kept me in the dark. I had no idea about any of this. But I suppose you’ll be pleased to hear that I’m calling off the deal. We can’t tarnish the Scouts’ reputation even more by doing business with this family.”

Levi’s body went cold at the news.

Just a couple of weeks ago, he would have felt nothing but pure relief. Now, he felt nothing but pure dread.

“What about…?”

Levi couldn’t even say your name. It caught at the back of his throat and he struggled to breathe. He tried his best to remain as stoic as always, but Erwin knew him so well, and could see the concern at the edges of Levi’s gaze.

“There’s not much protection we can offer her, being her father’s daughter. She’s under his control,” Erwin reminded him. “Do you know where she is? I heard she’s declared missing.”

Levi nodded once to confirm, his worry amplifying at Erwin’s words.

He couldn’t protect you. Not while you were still affiliated with your father.

“People are saying that nobody was in the house,” Levi said, giving the commander a rundown of events. “I did a quick search, didn’t find any of the staff. No one was around.”

Erwin hummed a little, hands behind his back as he took in the sight of the damaged house in front of him.

“No surprise there. Our man of the hour is already in protective custody, having predicted this well before anyone else, and his wife was visiting with a friend, and now they’re all in protective custody as well. It’s just your ex-fiancee that we’re having trouble locating. Perhaps she’s with her staff.”

How stupid of him. Levi hadn’t really thought of that possibility yet. He’d been so focused on finding you, assuming the worst, that he hadn't taken the time to really think it through enough to realize that you were missing along with the staff.

Erwin was already five steps ahead of them.

“Some of the scouts are off to find the staff members that don’t live here in-house. One of them is bound to know where she is.”

Levi couldn’t help the small sigh of relief that left him, but he still felt useless if he wasn’t doing more to help. Without another word to Erwin, he marched off to do another quick search around the entire perimeter.

Some medics had come onto the scene as well and he was surprised to see a couple of them towards the back of the house, dragging someone out of the cellar. Levi had admittedly not really looked down there, knowing all there was, was food storage and wine cellar that someone had told him was all cleared out by now.

A familiar old man was getting dragged out and treated. He was badly beaten, bruised from head to toe, and his breathing was raspy and uneven.

Levi knew him to be a staff member and his heart skipped a beat.

Before he knew what he was doing, he was kneeling beside the old man, shaking him to get his attention despite the angry protests of a medic.

The old man opened his eyes and grimaced, but his face grew soft at the sight of Levi.

“Captain Levi,” he greeted him in a hoarse voice. “You’re a little late, don’t you think?”

“Where is she?” Levi asked, voice soft. “Do you know?”

“I know,” the man confirmed, nodding slowly as his eyes closed. “Greta...Greta took her. She’s...with Greta’s mother. But don’t know where...she lives.”

Greta. Levi knew that name. It was the name of one of the maids. You looked to be friends with her.

“Thank you,” he said, very sincere, before standing back up. More determined than ever, he made a beeline for his horse, a plan of action already formulating in his mind. He could make do with the information given to him. It was all he needed.

He was going to find you.

The sun hung low in the sky as May and Greta made up Greta’s old bed for you.

You had insisted on sleeping anywhere else, even the floor, but Greta had already set her mind on sharing a bed with her mother.

“I shared a bed with one of the other maids all the time, whenever we felt like it,” she told you. “I actually like it. It’s nice having another person there with you.”

You still felt a little guilty but stayed silent, and opted instead to watch the sun lower through the window of Greta’s childhood bedroom after being shooed off.

Greta and her mother chattered amongst themselves and you didn’t have the heart to join in just yet. You felt so drained after the day’s events that you couldn’t muster up the energy they had.

What kept you so anxious was also the thought of having to stay under your father’s thumb.

It was maddening to know that after everything, he still had your life in his hands. To be a highborn lady was to be in shackles.

A plan was starting to formulate in your mind, one where you could fake your death and run away and find work as a maid or maybe even a governess. Greta could help and confirm that you’d been taken, never to be seen again. You could grab your clothes that you’d discarded, if they were still around, and maybe douse them in animal blood or something, to really sell it.

But your plan was cut short with a pounding at the front door downstairs. The knocking was so intense that all three of you froze and looked between each other, fear prickling your spines.

When the door clearly sounded like it was trying to be opened, May sprang into action and ran downstairs, which kickstarted your adrenaline. You ran after her, afraid for her possibly getting hurt, reaching out for her to try and stop her from going any farther.

“May, no!” you hissed, eyes on the front door that was now in view. Someone was slamming into it, the lock jiggling unsteadily, until it finally gave in.

You were paralyzed in fear as the door flew open, but fear gave way to shock at the sight of Captain Levi at the entrance, looking frazzled. You would have never predicted you’d ever see him as anything other than composed or angry.

As soon as your eyes locked, you ran to him.

“Captain Levi!”

He stopped you before you could throw your arms around him and, at first, you felt embarrassed by it, taking it as a rejection.

It wasn’t until he started examining you, hands lifting and twisting your arms and turning your face this way and that, that you felt your heart warm up.

“Are you hurt?” he asked. He was cupping your face, holding your jaw familiar as his eyes scanned your face for any signs of injury, and that frazzled look he held only softened when his eyes finally met yours.

You shook your head slowly, keeping his gaze, hands shyly reaching up to cover his over your jaw.

“I’m not hurt,” you whispered. “Just scared.”

Levi frowned and reluctantly let go of your face, but his hands didn’t travel far. He rested them on your shoulders while your hands gently gripped his forearms, the two of you in your own little bubble.

“You don’t have to be scared anymore,” he promised you, sounding so earnest. “Nobody can hurt you while I’m here.”

Your bottom lip quivered, emotional at the thought of him willingly protecting you, but also emotional at the more sinister situation at hand.

“My father can,” you told him, squeezing his forearms as the words left your mouth. “Greta says he’ll be looking for me soon. I can’t escape him.”

Levi’s eyes hardened at that, grip also tightening on your shoulders, before he groaned and stepped away from you to run a hand over his face.

“Erwin said the same thing to me,” he admitted, pacing back and forth. He briefly looked towards Greta and her mother, then to the now broken front door, and blankly stared at them before muttering, “I’ll fix that.”

He turned back to you, arms crossed, as he took on a look of deep concentration. It was only there for a few moments before he snapped out of it, holding your gaze as he seemed to come to a conclusion.

“You can’t be under your father’s control once you’re married,” he pointed out.

At first, you didn’t understand. You raised a brow, a little peeved he was bringing it up, and nodded once.

“I suppose so…,” you agreed, a hint of a frown on your face. “But I’m assuming we won’t be getting married after this, so I’m kind of shit out of luck.” It was the first time you’d really sworn like that in front of Levi. In front of anyone. It was nice.

Levi tensed up a little and broke his eye contact with you to look away, and you could have sworn he looked a little flustered. There was a hint of pink at the tips of his ears, which shocked you.

“What?” you pressed, also feeling a bit of heat creep into your face.

This wasn’t happening. No way this was happening.

Levi hadn’t wanted to marry you even when it was basically required of him.

Your hopeless romantic little heart was just playing tricks on you. He wasn’t possibly going to suggest…

“I gave my word and I don’t intend on going back on it,” he said, still not looking at you, ears still pink. “Got any better ideas?”

“Captain Levi…,” you began, but then trailed off, not knowing what to say, until finally you managed out, “You don’t have to do this.”

He scoffed a little, eyes finally flickering back to you. Tentatively, he stepped forward until he was right in front of you again. You stayed perfectly still as he lifted a hand to place it on top of your head, giving you a small pat before ruffling up your hair.

“I have something for you,” he said suddenly, taking his hand away to reach into the pocket of his coat.

And then your favorite novel was in your hands, a little more crumpled up than usual but basically intact.

Tears sprang to your eyes and you hugged the book to your chest gratefully, looking to Levi with nothing but adoration.

At that moment, it was all you owned in the world. You didn’t even own the clothes on your back.

“That was really nice,” you choked out, gazing down at the book again with a small smile.

Levi stepped forward again, closing the distance between you as he rested a hand on your shoulder again.

“Let me protect you,” he said, tone filled with an air of finality that you couldn’t argue with. “I know I don’t have to.”

He didn’t have to say the actual words; you understood what he meant.

I want to.

Marriage was all about compromise.

In the end, Levi didn’t get to prolong his nuptials, since marrying you had to be done quickly. However, it also had to be done in secret. So, at the very least, you figured he at least got half of his wishes respected.

The moment the ink was dry on the certificate, you felt a weight lift off your shoulders. You shed your maiden name to gain a new surname, fully protected from your father now and fully backed by the Survey Corps. It was your 30th day of knowing Levi. Your 1st day of being married.

You took in a deep breath as Erwin took the document from you to sign as a witness, and you turned to Levi with a small and timid smile, which he actually tried to return. It was brief, but it was appreciated. And when he lifted his hand to pat your head affectionately, you melted a little.

“I’m sorry you didn’t have a big wedding like you wanted,” he murmured, eyes staring at you with a hint of remorse. “I should have never made you agree to that before.”

A half-smile tugged at one corner of your mouth and you shook your head, nudging your shoulder to his playfully.

“I never really wanted to have a big wedding,” you admitted to him. “I just wanted to have a special day for myself. And for my husband, of course. Didn’t have to be a big thing. It just needed to be special.”

Levi seemed to lighten up at that, giving another brief smile before murmuring, “That’s a relief.”

“What do you mean?” you asked, but he didn’t respond, choosing instead to stand up and offer a hand to help you on your feet as well.

You smoothed down the cream dress Greta had so kindly let you borrow and followed Levi out the door, head held a little higher now that you were an official Ackerman and nothing else. Instead of going to Commander Erwin’s office to go over a few next steps like originally planned, you found yourself following Levi outside.

“Where are we going?” you asked, puzzled, but Levi scoffed a little and turned to look at you from over his shoulder.

“If you could just be a little patient, I promise you’ll find out soon enough,” he said.

It was a beautiful day, you had to admit. The spring temperature was perfect and you basked in the sunlight, feeling freer than you’d ever felt before.

You stepped onto the grass in the courtyard, eyes towards the sky, and it wasn’t until you heard several people clear their throat that you tilted your head down to take a look.

Your heart nearly stopped as you saw Erlo, Greta, May, and Charlie, and some of Levi’s friends, sitting on the grass, a spread of what looked like a marvelous lunch in front of them.

Shouts of congratulations were passed around and you lit up at the sight, heart feeling full as you stumbled over while dragging Levi along.

You turned to him, eyes bright and excited, still not quite understanding.

“What is this?” you asked, looking between your bubble of friends and your brand new spouse.

Levi looked a little uncomfortable, but in that cute way, and Greta beat him to the punch with the answer.

“It’s your wedding day, so we’re celebrating, of course!” she laughed, then nodded towards Levi with a cunning grin. “It was your husband’s idea.”

Levi’s entire face flushed at the term but he also looked murderous at being found out.

You grinned at him, feeling warmed at his gesture, and you made a mental note to pull him aside later for a real thank you.

At that moment, you made do by sneaking a kiss to his cheek, fully appreciating the way he got flustered.

Erwin had made up a new room for you at base and, after a full day’s worth of celebrating your wedding day, you were ready to fall into bed.

The room was right next to Levi’s, which you appreciated. It seemed funny, almost, since of course spouses typically shared a room, but under these circumstances, that wasn’t very likely.

You cared for Levi and you could see that he at least cared for you in some ways, but those feelings would need to be nurtured with time.

The two of you were in front of your bedroom door, with you yawning up a storm, and Levi grumbling about getting you to bed.

You burst into your room and made a beeline for your bed, not bothering to really look around at your new room or even change out of your clothes. As soon as you were on the bed, you felt your drowsiness start to overtake you.

Before you passed out, you peeked over at Levi, who was getting situated at a desk.

“Aren’t you gonna sleep?” you asked, yawning again, and Levi turned to look at you briefly.

“Not for a while,” he answered finally.

You frowned at that but didn’t argue with him, your heart bubbling over with so many questions and feelings that you just couldn’t hold in anymore.

“Do you still dislike me?” you blurted out, face heating up at your lack of filter.

Levi raised a brow, pointedly looking towards the new ring on your finger. Then, his gaze softened, and he leaned back in the chair he sat in.

“No,” he answered. “And I was wrong for judging you before. I’m sorry I didn’t give you a chance sooner.”

You stayed quiet for a moment, but kept your eyes on Levi, no matter how hard it was.

“Do you think you’ll fall in love with me one day, now that we’re married?”

You couldn't stop that question from tumbling out either, but you were too curious to feel embarrassed.

Levi’s ears flushed pink, a cute new trait you were catching onto. He looked away from you briefly, clearly trying to find the right words, and he took so long to respond that you felt your heart start to sink.

But then he stood from his seat and moved to kneel beside the bed, a hand reaching up to smooth some hair out of your face.

“Let me focus on protecting you first,” he said.

His eyes were the softest they’d ever been. They gave you another answer.

“I’m going to love you,” you promised him. You still couldn’t admit that you were actively falling in love. Not to him, not right now. But another time.

“I don’t deserve that, after how I acted,” he whispered.

“I’ll always forgive you,” you whispered back. “And I’m going to love you.”

Levi moved his hand from your head to tuck you into the sheets a little better, avoiding your gaze. Neither one of you said anything for a minute, a comfortable silence falling between you like that afternoon in the parlor room.

As you began to drift off, Levi’s soft voice filled your ears with one final promise. One that was meant more for him than for you.

“I’ll figure out how to love.”

You were too tired to notice how the sheets smelled like Levi. You were too tired to realize that the room was clearly already lived in and had typical possessions of a squad captain, from ODM gear to a desk clearly stacked up with documents.

You’d been too tired to remember that your bedroom door was the right one and not the left one. You’d been too tired to notice that you’d opened the left door.

Levi was too besotted by you to correct your mistake.

Somewhere, a grandfather clock chimed as midnight struck.

#levi x reader #levi ackerman oneshot #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman x reader #levi x you #levi x y/n #levi attack on titan #levi ackerman #levi fic #levi fanfiction #levi ackerman fic #levi ackerman fanfiction #levi one shot #levi #aot fanfiction #aot oneshots #aot #snk fanfiction #snk

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emerald-chaos · 3 years

Text

Already Gone

**gif not mine, credit to the owner below!!**

Oh hohohohoho besties. You are in for it on this one. The other night I had an idea that popped into my head and to say I got carried away with it would be a gross understatement. This is the first time I've written smut in forever so bear with me as I get back in to it. I hope you guys enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. As always, please feel free to send feedback!

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 5.3k (oops)

Warnings: Smut, 18+ (MINORS DNI), language, ANGST (holy shit is there angst), fingering, unprotected sex (please be smarter than these two), infidelity, and I think that's about it? Please let me know if I left something off.

A/N: Thanks to my sweet, sweet friend who read through this for me and helped me fix a few things. Also I take the, MINORS DNI, warning very seriously, so please only interact if you are of age. Please have your age in your bio so I can confirm. By clicking "read more" you agree to this. I really don't want to have to block people.

The cacophonous trill of shattering glass erupted through the space. Raised voices, thick with rage, echoed off the walls. It was difficult to tell which words were coming from which mouth, the both of you overlapping as you spewed out hatred toward one another.

“What in God’s name is going on here?!” Steve shouted as he entered the room, coming back from a late night run at the most inopportune time.

“Stay the fuck out of it!” Your two voices shrilled together as you both pointed toward Steve.

You could feel your chest heaving and it almost felt as though you were foaming at the mouth. Rage was completely consuming every crevice of your body and spilling out into your actions and your words. You turned back to the object of your aggression and watched as he ran a hand through his hair and turned to walk away from you.

“You’re nothing but a coward, James Barnes. A goddamn selfish, son-of-a-bitch, coward!” You screamed with every ounce of energy you had left in your body.

The two of you had some knock-down drag-outs in your past, but it was nothing compared to this. Months of pent up feelings, insecurities, jealousies, and secrets were all coming to a head at this very moment. The last few months the two of you had been incredibly short with one another - a stark contrast from your usual loving tone. Passionate kisses became brief pecks to the cheek, midnight roaming hands became backs set to one another, and ‘i love you’s’ felt more like a habit than a genuine feeling. In your heart you feared it would come to this one day. No matter how hard you tried, how much you wanted to, you were never going to be able to fix what had been done to the man you loved. There was no amount of love in the world that could reverse the tragedy of the Winter Soldier - at least that’s what you were convinced of now.

The man in front of you turned and strode across the room, minimizing the space between the two of you. His metal hand in a fist as he brought it up to jab a finger into the middle of your chest. Pupils were blown wide, what was once a lustful look was now filled with only pure anger. As he opened his mouth to speak, spit flew into your face.

“And you are a self-righteous, ignorant, self-important bitch!”

As your eyes raked over the contorted facial features of the man standing in front of you, you realized you couldn’t recognize them. The man standing in front of you was not Bucky. It was not the man who twirled a strand of your hair when he sat with his arm behind your chair, not the man who pulled over the car to help a turtle cross the road, and definitely not the man who held you in his arms as he cried after a nightmare. The man standing in front of you was a frightening enigma of hatred and rage. This was not your Bucky. In fact, you were almost certain you lost your Bucky months ago.

* * *

You hadn’t noticed the bouncing of your knee until the man who sat beside you gently cupped it with his hand, stilling your nervous movements. It was enough to break you from your thoughts as you turned your head to meet his kind eyes.

“We don’t have to do this, you know. I’ll have them turn the car around and we’ll go back to the airport. We catch the next flight back home.” He whispered in reassurance. Even though your mind was anxiously racing, you couldn’t help but smile at the compassionate gesture.

“Of course we do,” you started, cupping his cheek with your hand as the sunlight glinted off your pristine wedding ring, “Tony was one of the most important people in my life. Plus, I’m pretty sure he would haunt me if I didn’t go to his funeral.”

8 years ago you promised yourself in the taxi ride to the airport that you would never step foot in this place again. That all changed when you got the news of Tony’s death. Your time working with the Avengers was a life-changing experience and it was all thanks to Tony. The memory of him seeking you out to work alongside Dr. Banner in the research lab was one that you could never forget. Tony was an arrogant, pompous asshole but he was undeniably a good man. You would curse yourself for the rest of your days if you let your own baggage get in the way of that.

“Alright,” your husband responded with a sigh as he squeezed your knee, “But please, promise you’ll tell me if there’s anything I can do for you.”

“Promise.” An agreement that you sealed with a kiss.

Mike was a good man, he was someone who cared for you deeply and who made you feel safe. After your transfer to the DC Shield Office, you had sworn off any more office romances. Those never ended well. That was until your path crossed with Mike. From the beginning of the relationship, you were upfront about your past issues with relationships and how you weren’t ready to dive into anything and he simply stated that he was okay with that, that he would wait.

The marriage was a happy one, Mike always playing the role of doting, caring husband. No matter how much you pushed back against him, he was always willing to give you space and to let you feel what you were experiencing. Mike was a good man. But he wasn’t him.

Your gaze left his as your eyes returned to the skyline, the familiar pressure clawing its way back to your chest. It’d been 8 years since you saw him. 8 years since you packed your bags and left the only home you’d ever truly known. Sure, you had this new life - a new husband, new friends, new job with similar duties, but there was still a piece of you that was missing. A piece you knew could never possibly be filled again. You had come to terms with that, slowly, but it had happened eventually. Now that you were back, you knew you were going to have to see him again - see all of them again. While a lot of good memories resided within this area, there was a hell of a lot of pain that went along with it. All you could do in that moment was remind yourself that you were here for Tony - to honor his memory and pay your respects. You didn’t owe anything else to anyone else. Something in your chest, however, told you that wouldn’t be the way things played out.

* * *

The service was beautifully executed. It was obvious that Pepper had poured her heart and soul into ensuring that Tony Stark was remembered as he should have been. The walls of your heart tightened as you saw Pepper clutching their young daughter to her side. Although Tony had made a lot of mistakes in his life, he spent his last years making sure to do good and to make things right. While it felt like a hot knife had been stabbed into your chest as you said goodbye to a once dear friend, you took solace in knowing that Tony was so loved by so many. That his legacy would live on in so many different ways. And that Pepper was there to say goodbye.

It had been your plan to attend the service and then leave immediately after it had ended. Of course, life has a funny way of never doing quite what we want it to.

It was Sam who stopped you first, pulling you into a tight hug against his form as your fingers gripped his jacket. Sam, being the angel he was, never once mentioned anything from the past and instead expressed his happiness with seeing you again and learning that you were doing well. The one thing Sam was not good at however, was keeping his mouth shut. Word quickly traveled through the crowd of your attendance and one by one old friends began to find you. Wanda didn’t have much to say but kept you in a grateful embrace while you expressed your condolences for Vision. In a shocking turn of events, It was actually Peter who was the most difficult to see. The once bright, happy-go-lucky, smiling boy was visibly devastated - heavy dark bags lingered under his eyes and his glow had been severely dimmed by the loss of his mentor. You couldn’t help but cry as you held him in your arms, expressing to him how proud of him Tony was and how he’d told you just that on several occasions.

After the hellos, the hugs, and the reminiscing you had told yourself that was it, that you were going to leave. It was then that Pepper stopped you with a soft hand on your shoulder, a kind smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes, and a warm embrace. After a pause of silence, she pulled away and invited you and Mike to stay for the gathering that had been planned following the service. Your mind screamed at you, begging you to politely decline - tell her you had to get back to DC, that you had a flight already booked that you couldn’t miss, that you had important business to get back to.

“Of course, Pepper. We’d love to.”

* * *

The gathering was exactly what Tony would have wanted. It was family and friends gathered around eating and drinking, but most of all - it was a bunch of people talking about Tony Stark.

You told Mike before the two of you arrived that you would stay for 20 minutes tops. That it simply would be out of respect for Pepper and once you felt your presence had been noted that the two of you would slip out unnoticed in the sea of people.

That was 2 hours ago.

Laughs came easy, tears flowed frequently, and stories were shared amongst friends. Surprising to you, it felt good to be around these people again. A familiar pang of home would hit you every now and again as you reconnected with those who you hadn’t seen in years. You introduced Mike to your old friends, who welcomed him warmly and with open arms. What you had thought would be a stressful, gut-wrenching day had actually turned out to be a joyful celebration of life. The day had been progressing smoothly and you wanted to chastise yourself for being so pessimistic.

That was, until you saw him.

Hands stuffed into the pockets of a black bomber jacket, long chestnut hair falling onto his shoulders, and a familiar collection of facial hair decorating the lower half of his face. He looked as terrible as you felt at the beginning of the day. Dark circles had only grown more prominent beneath his beautiful blue eyes and the corners of his lips were drawn down in a permanent frown. You couldn’t help but notice that he’d lost a considerable amount of weight. The once broad, thick man was now far more lean and toned than you ever remember him being.

A breath caught in your throat as the cerulean eyes met yours. Unable to stop yourself, you shoved your drink into Mike’s chest and hurried off to the nearest bathroom. Barely making it in time, you emptied your day’s stomach contents into the toilet. Breathing heavily, you fought back sobs as they threatened to leave your throat. To anyone else, it may seem you were simply grieving the loss of your friend, perhaps taking it harder than most. Oh how you wish that were the case.

You knew it would be difficult to see him again, but you didn’t expect it to feel as though someone had set your entire body ablaze. The heavy feeling of grief, anxiety, and stress from the beginning of the day was crushing your lungs, your stomach still trying to lurch although it had nothing left to give up, and tears burned the rims of your eyes. As you cleaned yourself up and flushed the toilet, you exited the stall to wash your hands and rinse your mouth. You tried to convince yourself it was the entire day's worth of emotions that had led you to this moment. That man no longer had this kind of hold on you - you had moved on. Or, so you thought.

Slowly, your gaze met your reflection in the mirror. The woman there looked worn and tired, like she had been fighting a raging war that she had been losing miserably. Mascara had begun to run down the apples of her cheeks and lipstick was smeared across her mouth. A heavy sigh left your lips as you did your best to make yourself more presentable. A shaky hand entered your clutch as you retrieved your lipstick and applied another layer. You gave yourself a final once-over and decided that your current appearance was as good as it was going to get. Just as you were going to turn around and return to the party there was movement in the mirror that caught your eye. The door was being pushed open from the outside. You turned to protest, to let the intruder know that the bathroom was occupied.

“Excuse me, sorry, there’s someone--”

It felt as though all the air had been taken from your lungs and your heart threatened to beat out of your chest as you came face to face with the man you had tried so hard, for so long, to forget. It was as though you were frozen in time, as if he were Medusa - turning you instantly to stone. Logically, the thing to do would be to tell him to get out or for you to leave the bathroom so that he could occupy the space alone. However, all you could do was stand and watch as he closed the bathroom door behind him, as his fingers closed around the lock and clicked it into place.

Then it was just the two of you. Bodies unmoving, aside from the rapid rise and fall of your chests in tandem. The air felt 100 degrees warmer than it had when you were alone. The silence, paired with the thump of your heartbeat, was deafening to your ears. You were hyper-aware of his gaze as he studied you the way you had him not minutes before. His eyes finally met yours once more and there was a poignant silence before he finally spoke.

“Can’t believe you still have that dress.”

Your eyes blinked a few times, brain trying to process his words and the situation you had currently found yourself to be in. You looked down to the front of your dress and smoothed your hands down it. How could you have gone the whole day without realizing that the dress you were wearing had been a gift from Bucky on your first anniversary? You were positive you had rid yourself of anything even remotely related to him. In fact, you distinctly recall dumping a box of momentos into a barrel and tossing a lit match inside. You don’t remember making the conscious decision to keep the dress, or why you would have made the decision. Now here you were - mere feet away from the man who had put it on and so delicately took it off of you many times.

“S’perfectly good dress. Shouldn’t go to waste.” Was all you could muster as a response in that moment.

The man before you took a step forward and you took a step back, hips coming into contact with the cold marble counter of the sink.

“Thought I’d never see you again. Y’look...different.” His gaze roaming its way down your body once more.

As his eyes landed on the diamond ring nestled onto the 4th finger of your left hand, you felt a lump begin to form in your throat.

“Congratulations.” His words were cold. Inauthentic. “He’s a lucky guy.”

“What the fuck are you doing in here, James?” The words were supposed to be sharp, but instead came out shaky and insecure.

“Saw you out there, starin’ at me. Guess I just wanted a closer look at you.”

By the end of the sentence he had closed the gap between the two of you even more, chests threatening to bump one another. His metal hand slowly reached forward and brushed a piece of hair off your shoulder. The cool appendage felt like fire against your skin and you know he heard the way you sharply inhaled, but you just couldn’t help it. You swallowed hard, head reeling and knees trying to buckle beneath you when you felt his cool palm cup your fiery cheek. It took everything in your body to avert your eyes from him, especially when you felt him even closer than before - warm breath fanning the expanse of your face. Why was he doing this? What was he going to accomplish? The fight or flight response in your body was screaming at you to push him away and run, but you didn’t.

“I’ve thought about you every day since you left, sweets. There’s not a moment that passes by where you’re not on my mind.”

Your eyes closed tightly, tears now welling up and spilling over.

“Everything you said about me that night was true. I am a coward. A coward who lost the best fuckin’ thing that ever happened to his sorry, broken ass.”

A small sob escaped your chest as your hand flew to your mouth, failing to keep it from tumbling out. Bucky found a loose thread and was slowly unraveling everything you’d worked toward in the last 8 years, every step toward progress and peace that you had worked so hard to find.

“I’m so fuckin’ sorry, doll” Bucky was now fully cupping your face with his large, calloused hands, “I’m so sorry that you fell in love with someone like me - a broken son of a bitch who never got put back together. I’m sorry that I hurt you so badly. I’m sorry I didn’t protect you the way I promised I would. I’m sorry that -”

In a moment of weakness, before he could finish his sentence, you were crashing your lips to his. There was nothing else that existed in your world - there was only you and there was only Bucky. Seemingly moving on their own accord, your hands found their way into his hair, grasping wildly for something to hold on to. As your fingers tugged on his roots, Bucky let out a deep moan into the kiss, sending a shiver down your spine.

The kiss was sloppy and desperate, all tongue and teeth. It was a balance of dominance between the two of you - although you were the one who initiated the kiss, Bucky was the first one to gain access to the inside of your mouth, and you were the first to tug his lower lip between your teeth. A pathetic mewl left your lips as Bucky’s mouth began trailing wet kisses across your jaw and down the column of your throat. The heartbeat in your ears from earlier was much worse now, making your head throb in pain. Every nerve ending in your body felt as though it was on fire and a small voice in the back of your head kept pleading with you to stop. For a moment you entertained the idea of shoving him off and telling him to fuck off, but that was before he started sucking that spot on your neck that he knew drove you mad. It was your turn to moan this time as you involuntarily arched your back, pressing yourself up against his firm torso.

You knew the way that you were tugging on the strands of his hair had to be incredibly painful but it only seemed to urge Bucky to continue. A soft gasp tumbled past your lips as you felt Bucky’s thigh push against your aching core. The sensation had you digging your fingernails into the back of his jacket as you finally released your grip on his hair. Before you could stop yourself, you could feel your hips grinding yourself down against his clothed thigh. Your dress had been pushed up around your waist, now only a small piece of cloth covering you as you desperately chased a high.

“I shoulda never let you go. Shoulda been at the airport to stop you before you got on that plane.”

His teeth sunk into your pulse point once more, earning himself another moan from your lips. The sting was soon replaced with the cool sensation of his tongue tracing the marks he had left.

“I love you, doll. I haven’t ever stopped lovin’ you.”

“Show me,” you whimpered pathetically against his shoulder, “show me you love me, Bucky. Please.”

An audible breath caught in his throat as he pulled himself back to look at you. Your chest was heaving, make-up smeared once more, and your pupils were blown wide with lust. You obviously weren’t able to see the look you gave him, but judging by the way he looked back at you it was fair to say you looked broken, pathetic, and desperate for him. The eyes looking back at you had the softness to them that you remember, the strokes of his hands against your body contained the passion that you’d so been longing for, and the tone in his voice told you that he was desperate for you too.

Within seconds your feet were lifted from the ground and your ass made contact with the cold, wet countertop. There wasn’t a lot of room, objects were scattered onto the floor and others were left to push into your hips with aggressive force, but you just didn’t care. It was impossible to care when Bucky moved your knees apart and dragged a finger along your clothed pussy. The sensation made your head fall back against the mirror with a hard thud but you couldn’t feel any of the pain from it at all. The only thing you felt was the way electricity rippled through your body when he used his thumb to apply pressure to your aching clit. Bucky groaned and rested his forehead against yours, lips slightly parted as he felt your need for him growing.

“So wet for me, just like I remember. Lemme make you feel good, sweets, hmm?” He had leaned forward to whisper softly in your ear as his teeth grazed your lobe.

It was you who reached down and shoved your panties down your thighs, meeting a surprised look from Bucky as he helped you drag them down to hang around your ankle. Bucky’s tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip as he hooked his hands underneath your knees to spread your legs open for him. Another groan came from him, this time more guttural than the last. You felt small underneath his gaze and the cool air in the bathroom brushing across your soaking core made you shiver.

Your hand flew to your mouth to suppress the noises you made as his finger slipped through your folds, running up and down to collect your wetness.

“More. God. Please, Buck. Need more.” You whined, attempting to roll your hips against his hand to find any form of friction that you could.

“Anything for you, baby.” He whispered as he gently inserted a finger inside of you. The two of you moaned in tandem.

There was a brief moment of embarrassment with the way your walls immediately clenched around his finger and the way his finger immediately found that soft spot. It was shortly replaced with a feeling of ecstasy. Bucky captured your lips with his to swallow your moans as he added another finger. The way his fingers were curling and pumping inside of you already had you close to the edge. Bucky pulled back and held your gaze as he added pressure to your clit with his thumb, circling the area as his fingers continued to repeatedly hit that spot inside of you.

“Please, please don’t stop.” You begged as you felt the pressure building within the lower part of your body.

“S’okay. I’m right here.” Bucky’s other hand was cradling the back of your head as he whispered to you. “I know you’re close. Can feel you squeezin’ me. You can let go for me, I got you.”

As your eyes met his, foreheads pressed together, you finally came apart. The white hot sensation tears through you as your legs quake. You squeeze your eyes shut and allow Bucky to help you ride through your orgasm as he peppers light kisses along your neck.

“I almost forgot how pretty you look when you cum.”

You whine at the emptiness and loss of contact when Bucky removes his fingers from your center. As your eyes flutter open you see him push the fingers into his mouth and suck them clean. The look on his face was euphoric.

“God. Almost forgot how fuckin’ sweet you taste too.”

Mustering up all the strength you had, you sat up and pulled him closer by his belt. The two of you worked together to rid him of his pants and boxers. Your hand wrapped around him, thumb swiping the red tip and using the pre-cum to help lubricate as you pumped your hand down his length. Bucky’s jaw clenched as he moaned at the sensation. Just as you were going to leave the counter, you felt his hands grabbing your shoulders and halting your movements.

“Maybe a different time, sweets. But right now I gotta be inside you.”

You caught your bottom lip as you nodded and released your hold on him. Bucky’s hands wrapped around your thighs as he pulled your hips to the edge of the sink. The metal hand left your thigh as he grabbed himself at the base and pushed his length through your folds. The two of you once more shared a moan at the sensation. As he lined himself up with your entrance, your hands wrapped around his neck to pull him in for another kiss. The next thing you felt was the familiar sting of his cock stretching your walls as he slid into you. Your lips left his and your forehead found itself pressed against his once more. Both of you panting heavily as neither of you dared to speak a word.

Following a moment of silence, allowing your body time to stretch to accommodate him, you nodded slowly as to signal to him that it would be okay for him to move. His thrusts were slow and calculated at first, as if he was attempting to regain his memory of your body - one that he once knew so well. You couldn’t help but dig your fingernails into his shoulder as you held on to him for dear life, subconsciously afraid that if you were to let go of him he’d be gone again forever.

“Faster, Bucky. Please.” You whimpered into his ear as you took his earlobe between your teeth and nibbled softly.

A low growl left his chest as he grabbed your hips and lifted you off the counter, moving slightly so that he could cage your body against the wall. You wrapped your legs firmly around his waist, locking them at the ankle. His thrusts became faster, deeper, and it was apparent he had gained his confidence back.

“You feel so fuckin’ good, baby. Just the way I remember.” He grunted as he dug his fingers harder into your hips.

His lips were on yours again, this time tears were starting to decorate the corners of your eyes. The pleasure, the regret, the passion, the guilt - every feeling was building up along with your orgasm. Bucky pulled away from the kiss to tap on your bottom lip with two of his fingers, which you greedily accepted into your mouth. Your tongue swirled around his digits until he pulled them out and used them to circle your clit. The added pleasure was almost too much to handle.

“C’mon, baby. Wanna cum with you. Can you do that for me, huh?” Bucky whimpered, his thrusts beginning to falter from the calculated snaps he was giving you before.

All you could do was nod your head quickly as the pressure steadily increased, bringing you to the brink of your second orgasm.

“I love you. I love you. I love you so fuckin’ much, oh my god.” Bucky grunted as the two of you reached your peak together.

You leaned forward to bite down on his shoulder and suppress the scream that left your mouth as pleasure erupted through your body. The two of you assisted each other through the high of your release and you felt your ass make contact with the cool countertop once more.

The only noise present in the space was your heavy breathing and a small dripping noise that came from the sink. Bucky’s final words before he came replayed in your head over and over again as you attempted to slow your breathing and bring yourself back down to earth. Your body shuttered slightly as Bucky slipped himself out of you. As you sat up, you noticed he was looking around the bathroom.

“Shit, sweets. I don’t think there’s anything I can use to help clean you up.” He sighed and turned to meet your gaze that was locked upon him.

“It’s fine, Buck. Not a big deal.”

Bucky bent over and helped you pull your panties back on before he redressed himself. Neither of you spoke for what felt like eternity.

“I-...” You muttered finally, “I love you too, Buck. I thought I was over you, I thought I moved on but...I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stop loving you no matter how hard I try.”

Bucky reached out to stroke your cheek with the back of his hand as he listened to you lament to him. His eyes were soft and caring and you could almost swear he was looking into the depths of your soul.

“I think —“

Your conversation was cut short by the sound of knocking at the bathroom door.

“Hey, are you okay in there? Do you need anything?” Mike’s voice had your entire body flooded with the shame of your infidelity. In one swift movement, you were on the floor and turning the sink on to make it appear you were just washing your hands.

“Y-yeah I’m fine! Just finishing up! I’ll find you out there in a minute!” You squeaked.

Mike seemed to pause for a moment before you heard his footsteps retreat from the bathroom door. A wave of relief washed over you, but it was only temporary. As soon as you were relaxed the gravity of the situation you were in was clouding you once more.

“I have to go. I can’t give him any reason to think he needs to come in here.” Bucky nodded, eyes not leaving yours as you spoke while collecting yourself, “but we need to..we should..we have to address this. Later.”

“I agree.”

“Our flight leaves tomorrow night. I’ll...see what I can come up with as far as an excuse. Then we can put this to bed for good.”

“Absolutely, sweets.”

The nickname made your knees buckle once more as you sighed.

“Goodbye, James.”

You finally tore your eyes from his as you unlocked the door and slipped out of the bathroom. In reality, however, you knew this really wasn’t goodbye. Not even close.

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myimaginesandrp · 3 years

Text

Stuck with You (Ksj)

Summary: When the run-down elevator in your building breaks down, you find yourself trapped inside with your cute neighbor Seokjin.

Notes: 2k, One Shot, Neighbor!Ksj, N2L, Ksj x reader, fluff, mild angst

Warnings: Mild panic attack caused by claustrophobia [Any further warnings will be added upon request]

A/N: Please be nice this is the first time I write for BTS 🙈 {Also this was 0% Edited. oops}

Cold sweat makes its way down your back as the pads of your fingers nervously press down on the emergency button of the elevator for just about the fourth time in the last fifteen minutes. They’re starting to hurt. Maybe not as much as your feet in the stupid shoes you decided to wear today, but they were definitely not this red when you first entered the building. Nevermind that, it’s starting to get ridiculously hot and you’re not entirely sure if the sweat is really from how stuffy it's getting in here, or if your fried nerves are starting to get a hold of you.

You’d told the owner several times that the elevator needed to be fixed, and now your worst nightmare had come true before your very eyes. Not even two seconds in and the sound of screeching and whining metal rang in your ears before the elevator stopped completely, only to leave you in darkness and a pounding heart that was very close to giving out on you. You’d never admit that you were claustrophobic, but with each second that passed, the air entering your lungs seemed to have more and more difficulty finding its way out.

Had you been by yourself, you’d have completely lost it by now, but as luck would have it, the quiet - and much more controlled - breaths beside you told you that you very much weren’t. In your panic you’d nearly forgotten you weren’t alone in the metal death trap you found yourself in. Thinking back to it now, you’d managed to avoid everyone in the lobby until his hand broke through the gap of the elevator just as the doors were closing.

Seokjin, your neighbor who moved in next door almost a year ago, stood about a foot away from you, nowhere near as worried about your current predicament as he probably should've been. In fact if it weren’t for the thin sheen of sweat gracing his forehead, you’d think he was just as content here as if he were at home.

In the short amount of time you’d known him it was more than clear he was a sweet and kind person, not to mention his ridiculous sense of humor and his even more ridiculous good looks. It was unfair really, that someone who looked so perfect was just as beautiful on the inside. His presence now had kept you somewhat sane, for the most part. His kind smile now met your panicked eyes, offering you silent comfort in hopes that it would stop you from banging on the steel again. He approached you slowly, stepping over the grocery bags he’d been carrying when he ran inside. In your pacing back and forth you’re sure that you’d smushed an orange or two into the floor, but you could worry about that later.

His hand finds your shoulder and your breathing suddenly takes a turn for the worse. Not that you didn’t want his touch of course, you’d been crushing on him since the moment you met him walking up the steps of your apartment one cloudy afternoon. You’d craved to be this close to him for a while but given the current circumstances, this was far from any daydream you’d ever ran through your head before.

“Are you sure you don’t want to eat something?” He began, pulling your attention away from your thoughts. “I have those chocolate bars you like.” He nods towards his bags and you arch your brow at him in confusion. All the blood drains from his face at the confession and he tries his best to backtrack without much success. “I mean- I just. I’ve seen you always grab some at the vending machine near the laundry room. Not that I always watch you. No wait-” A twitch of your lips gets him even more worked up. You watch in awe as his ears turn bright red and his words come out of him louder and faster. If you weren't filled with utter terror at the moment, you'd find it the most adorable thing in the world to see him this flustered. “-I mean N-Not that I was staring! Why would I be staring at you! Sometimes I just happen to pass by when you’re there. Anyone could be there, it’s a public place you know? I just mean that- I…” You shake your head at him to stop his rambling.

“It’s fine Jin” you muster with as much calmness as you could. He was a good distraction, but you were still stuck in a metal cage, dangling who knows how far above the ground. You were definitely gonna start taking the stairs from now on, this was getting to be too much for you. “I just lost my appetite really… I’ll just order something. If we ever get out- ” your voice breaks and before he can stop himself, his arms envelop you in a soft embrace.

“Hey no don’t cry. It’s gonna be okay ______” he coos as you try and fail to control the stream of tears that leave you. You didn’t even know you were crying until he spoke, and now every time you tried to rein them in, more made their way out. “I’m here, you’re not alone.”

Jin wasn’t sure what came over him when he caught a glimpse of you entering the elevator, but he’d never been happier with his decision to run after you. Now as he felt you tremble in his arms, all he wanted was to make the fear go away. To make sure every tear was gone from your soft face and that nothing ever made you feel like this again.

He’s not really sure when he started to like you, but the moment he realized, it hit him like a truck. Maybe it was your kindness towards your elderly neighbor across the hall, or the way he could hear you belting out to your favorite music as you vacuumed your apartment. Or maybe it was because you were just so damn beautiful. With your sparkling eyes and the bright smile you gave him every time he was lucky enough to cross paths with you. He never stood a chance.

He really shouldn’t be feeling like this, like he wanted to keep holding you in his arms every day, to protect you. It made no sense after all, he was nothing but a stranger to you. But with every moment that passed, and every second that you didn’t push him away, something inside him fed hope that perhaps his feelings weren’t as one sided as he’d thought.

“Listen,” he began again hoping to at least distract you. “You heard the maintenance guy not too long ago. The fire department has been called, we’ll be out of here in no time ok?” His voice was calm and soothing, and if it weren't for the fact that his touch sent a fire through your body, you're sure it would've been a cool balm to your nerves. You wipe your face with your sleeves and look up at him.

“I know, I- I just can’t breathe, I hate these things and it’s been too long now… I just-” You cut yourself off at the last minute to stop yourself from breaking down in front of him again.

“I understand ______. It’s perfectly reasonable for you to feel like this okay?” You nod and he reaches a hand to your face to wipe the remnants of a tear from your cheek.

“You know -” he starts again, “ - one time I went fishing with a friend and our boat got stuck a few miles in. Man the fear I felt… I thought we’d be gone by then, but the human body is very resilient….” You listen as he rambles on about his friend and how he’s never taking him fishing again because not only were they stuck in the middle of the sea, but they didn’t manage to catch a single fish. “Could you imagine my handsome face sunburnt? A horrible tragedy if there's ever been one..”

You latch on to his very word for who knows how long, until he’s got you giggling and the fear inside you is all but forgotten. The minutes pass and you don’t even realize that you’re still holding on to him until he reluctantly pulls away to offer you water, not fully letting go of your hand in the process. You both make it to the floor eventually, sitting side by side. He shares stories of his friends and you listen intently, now and again contributing with a comment and he swears your voice is the most beautiful thing he’s ever heard.

It’s almost a whole hour after the elevator stopped that you hear banging from the other side of the doors. Tears spring in your eyes again as you realize your imprisonment is almost over. Jin clears his throat and with a heavy heart you release his hand, knowing your time together is almost at its end too. He gathers his things from the floor and you help him. You’re not sure why you suddenly get so bold, but you let your fingers linger on his a little longer than necessary when you hand him back one of the chocolate bars you liked.

“Here” he says, handing it back to you. “I think you need it a little more than me right now” You chuckle and graciously accept it.

“Thank you Jin. I’d have gone completely mad without your help” He offers you a sweet content smile and your heart leaps, knowing it’s for you.

“Any time_____. Though let’s hope they actually fix this damn thing for once.”

The sounds of the doors being pushed open grow louder and the relief you feel when you start hearing voices outside is indescribable. As soon as you are able to, you pull away from Jin and drag your way out into the bright sunlight you never thought you’d see again. The firefighters help Jin pull you up and out of the elevator, slowly pulling you to the side to tend to your hand.

There’s a small crowd standing by the lobby, watching and shaking their heads as they watch the firemen work. A few of them have less than kind looks for the owner as he stumbles his way in, with disheveled clothes and a distraught look in his eye. You’re offered an oxygen mask and you watch as a few moments later Seokjin is also pulled out to his freedom. He finds you almost immediately and moves his way over to you with nothing but relief in his eyes.

“You okay?” he says as he pulls an oxygen mask to his face.

“Yeah, much better now.”

“I’m glad. You were very brave, you know?” You scoff and he shakes his head. “Now don’t give me that, I'm serious ______. If we’d been stuck in a room full of insects you'd have had to give me cpr.”

“Well let's hope the owner never decides to start a butterfly sanctuary on the roof”

“I would literally move cities” He deadpans and you start to laugh again.

The rest of the afternoon passes by in a blur as the firemen ask you a bunch of health questions. The owner comes by to apologize to the both of you, begging you not to press any charges and only leaving you both alone once you both agreed to. Jin’s hand finds its way to yours again, and this time neither one of you breaks the contact.

After the sun has long left the sky, the lobby is mostly empty save for the maintenance folks who work on the elevator that you never want to spare another glance to. Jin makes to stand.

“Come on _____ let me walk you up to your apartment. With the way the elevator went, I’m not taking any chances with the stairs” You actually let yourself laugh at that and take his outstretched hand to pull yourself up. “Are you hungry?” As if on queue your stomach decides to growl loudly. You throw your hand over your stomach and his face breaks into a huge grin.

“I’m actually starving, now that you mention it'' you admit sheepishly.

“Well I got some dinner waiting to be reheated at home and I wouldn’t mind sharing. What do you say?” He gives you a smile so dazzling, you think you’d melt back into the ground if it weren’t for his steady arm holding on to you.

“I’d love that”

A/N: Thank you so much for reading! 💜 [If you liked this please help me out by leaving some feedback on my ask box. It’s always appreciated!]

#seokjin x reader #jin x reader #seokjin fluff #seokjin fluf #jin fluff #bts imagines #jin fics #bts fics #seokjin fics #seokjin x you

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alj4890 · 3 years

Note

I got an ask we know Riley gets kidnapped by Anton but what if Anton was in love with her and he didn’t wanna kill her but makes her his. What if Olivia killed Claudus for shooting drake.

I love the way you think, Nonny! I actually would have eaten this up with a spoon if that had happened in canon. To be honest, I really liked Justin in book 2. If he had been a new love interest, I would have done a play through just to see what happens if Riley chose him 🤦🏻 Of course then we find out he is behind all the bombings and such so...oops, LOL. When I first saw your request, I made an aesthetic with just Justin/Anton and Riley in mind. I completely forgot to add a definite OTP of mine, Drake and Olivia, to it. Smh. The story though will definitely include them along with Riley and Justin. I am so tempted to turn this into a series 🙊

@gkittylove99 @krsnlove @kingliam2019 @texaskitten30 @yourmajesty09 @mom2000aggie @ofpixelsandscribbles @twinkleallnight @lodberg @amandablink @neotericthemis @mm2305 @sfb123 @iufilms

Masterlist

True Intentions

It had happened when he had not been paying attention. It shouldn't have happened at all. He had one goal. One mission. Nothing had ever come to mean more to him than that. Nothing. No one.

Until Riley.

He knew he shouldn't have spent so much time with her. He shouldn't have helped Maxwell in picking the right dresses for her. He shouldn't have stuck around to see her come out of dressing rooms, an excited smile upon her face, as she twirled around for them to give their opinions.

It had taken all his will power to keep from telling her what he truly thought. Riley's beauty was simply stunning, not because of her outer loveliness, but more that he saw her inner beauty shining through each trial she faced. Her strength amazed him. Her wit brought a smile to his face. Her kindness touched his heart.

It made him begin to long for things he shouldn't. They shouldn't be a part of any dream or plan he had.

And yet...she was beginning to crop up in his thoughts. In his dreams.

In his plans.

He winced as he tried to get comfortable.

His plans hadn't exactly gone as he had hoped. In fact, he should have talked to his men and explained that Riley was not to be a target.

Thank God for Drake. If he hadn't jumped in front of her, she would have been taken from me.

His lips twisted in another painful grimace.

"Are you in pain?"

Justin looked up and tried to smile. "Just a little."

His nurse shook her head. "I told you to buzz before it got too bad." She gently checked his wound.

"I don't want to be a bother." He mumbled.

"You aren't." She patted his hand. "You aren't any trouble at all." Her nose wrinkled. "We had a few nobles cause unnecessary problems when the attack happened."

"Really?"

She rolled her eyes. "Some were knocked down during the chaos and demanded they be admitted."

He chuckled softly. "Sounds like something they would do."

"It's a shame that good people like you were seriously hurt while those spoiled nobles try and take all the attention." She readjusted his covers after administering some more pain medication in his IV. "I don't know why King Liam is so hellbent on bringing them back to court."

"What do you mean?" Justin tried to fight the effects of the pain medicine. "What's he doing?"

"He and Lady Riley are going on some type of tour to some of the major houses to personally invite them to their wedding."

His brow furrowed.

A unity tour. That would work on these small minded individuals. It was a smart move. The public were already Team Riam. Once the royal couple convinced the most powerful houses to come to their wedding, all the other minor lords and ladies would follow suit.

"Well played, Liam." Justin's eyes drooped closed. "Well played."

**************

He couldn't believe that they not only convinced Madeleine's entire family, but also somehow got all of Portavira on their side.

"What's the plan?" Claudius asked.

"We need something big to remind everyone that we aren't a one trick pony." Justin told him.

He looked out the window. Leaves were beginning to change with the first hints of autumn in the air.

A hint of a smile appeared as a plan began to form.

"It would be a shame if Cordonia's apple orchard had a bad year, wouldn't it?" He eyed his second in command.

Claudius chuckled. "It really would."

******************

Justin watched as every channel showed the devastation of the orchard near Applewood. He couldn't help but smile over Riley making the people love her even more for her righteous anger. Her promises to bring those responsible to justice along with making the orchard bigger than before made him nearly burst with pride.

She had grown into her role more so than he had ever imagined. Gone was the timid young waitress from New York who uttered no comment when reporters surrounded her. She was a confident woman now who could think on her feet.

Justin thought she was more attractive than the first time he had seen her floundering in front of the cameras, in desperate need of a hero. It hadn't been a bother to rush to her side then and put his arm around her. Her wide eyes had lifted to his and he had nearly melted from her beauty.

He still couldn't believe that she forgave Liam for choosing another over her. Granted Madeleine impressed him with how she could manipulate reporters into spinning a story to her advantage, but Riley was so many things that the cold countess was not. She deserved better than what she got.

And he planned on giving it to her.

*****************

A week after the orchard burning, he turned to see the one rarely far from his thoughts.

"Justin!" Riley rushed over to engulf him in a hug.

"How's my favorite media darling?" He asked.

She leaned back and gave him that smile that was brighter than flash bulbs. "Much better now that I know you're recovering." She playfully glanced about before whispering, "Save me from Madeleine!"

He laughed as he hugged her once more. "I don't know. I've seen her work and can't find fault with it."

Riley pouted. She linked her arm with his as they walked down the hospital hallway. "I prefer your guidance to hers." Her nose wrinkled. "It's weird being told how to act by Liam's former fiancée. I know there wasn't anything between them, but still."

Justin patted her hand. "Tell you what. If Madeleine is unable to do her job or you decide to fire her, then I will gladly step back into my old position." He dug around in his pocket for the earpiece she had used during Liam's engagement tour.

Her smile reappeared. "Old faithful."

"I'm always Just-in-time." He teased.

*****************

It had been too close. He hadn't expected Riley to go anywhere near Constantine. And there she was, by Liam's side, graciously accepting some necklace from the old man who had destroyed her initial happily ever after.

His heart had nearly stopped as he watched rubble fall around them. Riley had frozen in fear over Liam's safety. It was a nightmare come to life as pieces of the wall and ceiling began to collapse.

At least one good thing had come from this: one king was dead.

It sadly wasn't the king he needed to die.

Justin began to plan how he would comfort Riley once Liam was gone. He wouldn't have to tell her it was he, himself, who orchestrated his death. But he would make certain to enjoy the benefits of it.

His eyes narrowed over another slight problem he had.

He was going to have to kill his own wife too.

******************

Lythikos...

It had been almost too easy. Madeleine was already in need of a distraction after hearing Liam gush over how excited he was to marry Riley in a few weeks. Once she requested a fruity cocktail, he knew then that the poison could go undetected taste wise.

The bartender left to go replenish the champagne. Madeleine's irritation over having to wait on a refill was drawing attention.

"Here." He grinned at her. "Allow me to make you another."

Her eyes widened. "Aren't you that press secretary that helped Riley?"

"I am." He began to mix a strong cocktail for her while adding the poison, all right under her nose. "And I must say you are the best I've ever seen."

Madeleine's irritation disappeared over the compliment. "I am, aren't I?"

"Riley's lucky to have someone so knowledgeable in ways of both the court and public like you." He added.

"Yes, she is." Madeleine muttered. "I'll do anything for my country, even if it is a thankless job."

"You should be recognized for your sacrifice." Justin handed her the deadly drink.

"Yes, I should." She took a gulp.

"How is it?" He asked.

"It's the only good thing here." A tipsy grin appeared on her face when she saw Riley. She grasped Justin's hand and pulled him in her wake. "Let's go say, hi."

"Boooooo!" Madeleine giggled when Riley turned around. "It's the ghosts of press secretary past and present."

"The what now?" Riley lips trembled with suppressed laughter as she looked up at Justin for clarification.

"I'm the ghost of press secretary past." He winked at her.

"OoooOooo!" Madeleine swayed where she stood.

"Whoa, there." Riley tried to steady her. "You okay?"

"She's had a little too much." Justin mimed drinking.

"It's a party!" Madeleine slurred. "It's in the worst place ever but it's a party and I'm going to...going to..."

"Enjoy it?" Riley offered.

"Extractly!" Madeleine's brow wrinkled over that not being the right word. "Expactly?"

"Exactly." Justin corrected.

"That."

The crowd quieted around them when Olivia took the stage to offer a final toast of the evening to Liam and Riley's wedding.

"Woo!" Madeleine cheered.

Riley and Justin tried to shush her.

Her giddy smile fell as her rosy cheeks drained of color. "Somefing's not..."

"Madeleine?" Riley lost her grip on her when she swayed violently to the right. "What's--"

Madeleine hit a table, causing the plates to clatter and the vase of blood red roses to fall over.

"I hate this place." She collapsed on the floor.

"Madeleine!" Riley dropped to her knees and tried to bring her to. "Liam! Mara! Come quick!"

Justin stepped back as the two came to see what was wrong. He watched as Olivia made her way through the crowd to find out what the all the fuss was about.

"What's wrong with her?" Riley asked.

"She's been poisoned." Mara whispered.

*******************

Justin loved seeing the delighted surprise once more on Riley's face when he said he would take over Madeleine's duties for the rest of the tour. It would have been a perfect moment if Liam had not been standing there. He was ashamed to think of his nearly giving himself away when he panicked at the sight of Olivia walking in behind him.

He wished Lucretia would quit trying to push Olivia into going into the family vault. She had a sick sense of humor in wanting her niece to discover she was already married. For some reason, she did not approve of the way her niece depended on her friends for support.

Justin knew the power friends could have. Had he not been trained by his own parents' friends, he wouldn't be the worthy man next in line to the throne. His comradery with his own men inspired their loyalty and willingness to die to make him king.

He needed to distance himself from Lucretia the moment they got out of Lythikos.

****************

She was supposed to come alone! Why did she bring Riley? I can't kill her. I need her. I deserve to have a choice in the one I want ruling by my side. The people already adore her, much more so than they admire Olivia. I was supposed to become free of this marriage. Once she and Liam are dead, I'll be able to be king and have--

"Justin?" Riley's eyes were clouded with confusion as she looked first at a picture of him dressed in a royal uniform. "What is this?"

"I'm sorry, Riley." His voice cracked on her name.

Justin reached in his pocket and pulled out a revolver.

Lucretia cackled with glee as she told her niece the truth about her marriage.

Justin stood there silently as the woman he loved shook her head in denial.

She's so incredibly sweet to doubt a friend could be the bad guy. I hate that I can't pull her away from all this and simply explain why I should be the ruler of Cordonia. I deserve it. I worked for it. My entire life was made for me to take the crown. She would be able to understand that. Look how far she's come in her own life. Who could imagine a waitress from some dive bar in America would come to be the next queen of a small European nation?

"Do it already!" Lucretia hissed. "Shoot her!"

He couldn't do it. Even as he held the gun steady, pointed directly at the woman he loved's heart, he couldn't shoot Riley.

"Get away from her!" Liam ordered.

Justin spun around to see the king and guards filling up the narrow passageway.

"I thought you said this was secure." Justin snapped at Lucretia.

"It was." She held her hands up in surrender.

Justin watched as she stepped forward, pretending to stumble.

His eyes widened as once again his love was trapped within a collapsing room.

He managed to see her safely end up in Liam's arms before escaping through a hidden passage.

He left Lucretia to the guards. She had served her purpose and was sadly of no use to him any longer. Now he could plan what he truly wanted to happen.

*******************

Liam and Riley's wedding day...

"I don't care who you kill. Olivia and Riley are to be taken alive." Justin told the small team of men he was sending in. "If you have to wound them to get them here, make certain Riley's is non life threatening.

He ignored the questioning look Claudius sent his way.

"Bring them both to our stronghold." His eyes narrowed. "Do not fail me."

****************

Later that night...

"Good work." Justin straightened his jacket. He wanted to look his best when he saw Riley again.

Claudius smirked at him. "Just think of all the men we would still have if you had let me go alone."

Justin chuckled. "True, but at least we are free of our weakest links." He smoothed his hair back. "Now take me to our guests."

***************

"I know the real Justin is somewhere in there." Riley leaned as far forward as her bindings allowed. "You helped me gain the love of the people. You know that if you kill me, the people will not readily accept you as king."

He couldn't help but smile. "I know and that is why I don't intend to hurt you."

"Then why kidnap us?" Olivia demanded.

He turned toward her. "If I'm to be king, then I have to take the necessary steps to claim the throne." He motioned for Claudius to come in.

"You're the one who shot Drake!" Olivia shouted, struggling against the ropes biting into her tender skin. "You'll regret that."

"And you tried to kill me!" Riley added, narrowing her eyes.

"That was a mistake." Justin quickly said. "You were never to be harmed."

"Then why all the attempts?" She asked. "Why do you persist in--"

"You weren't supposed to be here, Riley." He knelt down in front of her. "You should have stayed in New York until the time was right"

Her eyebrows drew together. "What are you talking about.

Justin asked Claudius to remain with Olivia while he took Riley somewhere private.

"If you think for one second that I will remain with this man while you take her away go do only God knows what," Olivia's chair creaked at her straining to break free, "then you don't know what a Nevarkis is truly made of!"

Justine rolled his eyes over her rant as he untied Riley from her chair. He kept her ankles and wrists bound together. He swept her into his arms and carried her out.

Olivia's shouts were silenced by the sound of a hard slap.

Riley struggled in Justin's arms. "What did he do to her? OLIVIA?!" Tears streamed down her cheeks. "Justin, please don't--"

"Nothing's happened to her." He took her into a surprisingly clean, yet drab, sitting room.

Riley was dropped on a chaise lounge. She eyed the door then Justin.

"I'm not going to hurt you." He repeated. He gently cupped her cheek, fingers brushing along her jaw line. "I love you too much to ever harm you."

Riley stilled. She looked up at him. "You what?"

He knelt before her. "I'm in love with you. It didn't hit me until you told me you had accepted Liam's proposal on the train. I didn't plan it, but I refuse to hide my feelings any longer." He smiled at her. "You've proven yourself as the rightful Queen of Cordonia. Once Liam and Olivia are dead, you and I can rule this country as we see fit. We'll--"

Riley shook her head. "Justin," she believed he was deranged and knew she had to handle this carefully, "I'm flattered. Really I am. I mean, we both know I would never have gotten this far without you."

His smile grew at her realizing she owed him for her meteoric rise within the court.

"But if you kill Liam and Olivia, the people will not feel any love or loyalty for you." She tilted her head as she studied him. "Surely you see the problem with this plan."

"People respect power." He explained. "They respect someone who fights for what is rightfully his. Since my birth, I have been meant for something greater. My parents, Olivia's family, even my soldiers realized that I alone am worthy to rule over this country." He focused once more upon her. "And I've seen that you are the one to do so by my side."

Riley shook her head. "Justin, I am honored," her voice cracked on that lie, "to have your love but I can't accept it." Her eyes filled with tears. "I'm in love with Liam."

"Riley, he didn't choose you." Justin argued. "He left you on your own to fight against nobles, the press, even his own father. You deserve so much more than being an afterthought."

Tears slipped down her cheeks once more. "That wasn't what he did. He was trying to protect me. And I--"

He leaned down and kissed her.

She froze at the touch, refusing to participate.

"Once Liam's gone, you will see the truth." Justin promised.

"I won't." Her eyes narrowed. "As long as I live, I'll hate you with everything within me for taking him from me."

"You don't have it in you." He shook his head in amusement. "You've forgiven everyone. Olivia, Penelope, Madeleine, even Constantine. You never hold a grudge."

"You'll be my first." Riley vowed. "Liam is the love of my life. If you ruin my chance to finally be with him, I will never forgive you. As long as there is breath in my body, I will find a way to destroy you."

"You are amazing." He murmured, knowing she was speaking from her heart. He couldn't wait for that devotion to be for himself.

"Anton?"

The two turned to see Claudius in the doorway. "Liam should be here any moment."

Justin nodded and told him he would meet him and the rest of the men downstairs.

He lifted Riley in his arms and placed her back in the cell with Olivia.

His wife had the bruised imprint of Claudius's hand on her alabaster cheek. Blood had dried on her bottom lip. No tears had fallen from the force of the hit. Her left eye was bloodshot as she glared up at him.

"Liv?" Riley choked out. "Are you--"

"I'm fine." Her harsh answer echoed in the chamber. "It will take more than some two bit thug to hurt me." Her eyes did a quick scan to make certain Riley wasn't hurt.

"If you will excuse me, I have to go prepare for Liam's last night on earth." He retied Riley to her chair.

She threw her head back with all her might to connect with his face.

His glasses broke from the force of her strike. Blood poured out his nose as he stumbled away from her.

"Don't ever," his voice dropped to a hiss, "do that again, my love." He gripped her chin and jerked her face up toward his. "You will learn how to behave soon enough."

He slammed the cell door and left them alone.

"Did he hurt you?" Olivia whispered.

"No." Riley bit her bottom lip. "Not yet."

*****************

"Where is my wife?" Liam demanded.

Justin couldn't help but be impressed. The young king was standing before him, completely outnumbered, yet didn't show the slightest flicker of fear.

He asked the one question that he himself would have asked if Riley was taken from him.

"She is well." Justin replied. "Which is something I can't promise about your own well being."

"I want to see her." Liam bit out. "Now!"

Justin's chuckle was interrupted by a hastily whispered message from Claudius. His head jerked around to search the dim hallway as if doing so would reveal the missing prisoners.

How had they escaped?

"You don't get to make demands here." He snapped at Liam.

"Let Riley and Olivia go." Liam ordered. "And I will take their place." His eyes narrowed. "I know it is a temporary one."

Justin couldn't help but smile. The man was indeed brave to trade his life for Riley and Olivia's.

"No!" Riley screamed out from the stairs.

Chaos broke out as she led the charge to attack the Sons of the Earth. Justin watched as she ran over to protect Liam's back.

The couple were doing their utmost to protect the other from harm.

Their friends were taking his well trained soldiers out one by one. It was embarrassing to see how pitiful his men fought.

Olivia moved into his line of sight. Fury blazed across her delicate features.

"I'm impressed." He told her, unsheathing his sword. "I should have searched you myself."

"Trust me." Olivia circled him. "It will be the last mistake you'll ever make!"

She lunged at him. He easily parried her attack. "I think you've forgotten that it was your parents who gave me the same training you had."

"I think you talk too much!" She twirled about, bringing her daggers up to stop his sword from meeting her shoulder. He grunted from her heel piercing his leg as she pushed off to break his hold.

They continued to try and deliver punishing blows to the other. She was desperate to kill the man who was after her friends and country. He was anxious to be free of their marriage.

He noticed from the corner of his eye Claudius and Drake fighting. His second in command stunned the commoner with an uppercut to his jaw, causing Drake to stumble back into a wall.

Olivia heard the scuffle and followed Justin's line of sight. Her face paled at Claudius moving towards Drake to end him once and for all.

With a flick of her wrists she not only slashed Justin but threw her other dagger at Claudius. It struck true along the side of his neck, cutting into his jugular. He let out a garbled scream as he fell to the floor.

Justin hissed at the deep gash she had made along his ribcage.

Seeing that it was a lost battle, he hopped the banister and began to rush upstairs. He would have to go into hiding once more before orchestrating another attack.

"This ends now!" Riley yelled out at him.

He spun around to see both her and Liam rushing toward him. He raised his sword, determined to put an end to the man who stood between him and the throne. He hesitated when Riley jumped in front of her husband.

"You're not taking him from me!" She raised her battle ax. "Every time you try, I will stop you."

Does Liam know how lucky he is? She waited on him to choose her. Twice! And now she stands here, ready to defend him to the death. How could any man not fall in love with Riley?

His refusal to fight her was his downfall. He was pushed over the banister by the royal couple. While his breath was knocked out, Maxwell and Hana bound his hands together behind his back.

He looked about at his fallen and captured comrades. His attention was drawn toward Olivia and Drake. The pair were covered in blood and bruises, yet they were leaning against each other. Drake had his arm around her while softly speaking. Whatever was said caused Olivia to press even closer to his side. Her arms slipped around his waist. Her eyes were closed tight as she allowed him to hold her.

Justin had suspected something more between the pair. It looked like his coup for the throne had accomplished something for them.

Bastien and the rest of the King's Guards rushed in. After talking to the king and new queen, he collected Justin and hauled him outside.

On the way, Justin met Riley's eyes.

There were so many things he wanted to explain to her. He believed she would have been on board with his plans for the kingdom. Once he had killed Liam and Olivia, he would be the benevolent king the country needed. Gone would be the purpose for pompous nobles. He would have established a council of Cordonia's citizens from all walks of life to advise him. People would be rewarded and honored for their service instead of simply being born to the right parents.

And she would have been his queen, guiding and protecting all she deemed worthy.

"Riley, I..."

"You will never ever hurt those I love again." She hissed.

"Take him away." Liam ordered, keeping his arms locked around his wife. "He will be dealt with in the morning."

Justin knew then that it was pointless to try and explain. She would never give him a chance after all that had occurred.

For the first time in his life, he realized that his intentions didn't matter to the one he loved most.

#the royal romance #trr #choices #trr liam #liam x riley #drake x olivia #justin x riley #choices the royal romance

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starlight-loki · 3 years

Text

Headcanon of the day: Loki x Mystic!Reader

This sort of acts as context for a fic I have coming out in the next day or two. I thought I'd release this first as a kind of shittily-written backstory for it, so that the relationship dynamics make sense :) Enjoy!

UPDATE: the fic is all done! you can read it here

(this is quite long and the Keep Reading option won't work, dammit. my apologies 😅)

You know something's wrong as soon as Stephen bursts into your room, a troubled look in his eyes

"They're here."

Stephen had been talking about this for a while -- it was just a matter of time before Thor and Loki arrived in New York looking for their father

He told you from the start that they were going to need help; your help

At first you protested because you were still in the midst of learning everything there was to know about the mystic arts.

you weren't a beginner by any means, but you definitely didn't feel you were at a level where you could just... fight the goddess of death

Now, you realized as Stephen rushed out of your room as quickly as he came, you were out of time to prepare: you had to use what you knew and hope it was enough

You stepped down the stairs into the main entrance of the Sanctum just as Stephen brought Loki back from the void with a thud

"Right, I'm sending Y/N with you. The two of you are going to need help with this whole... situation."

"We don't need help, especially not from a mortal, you second-rate-"

Stephen sends all three of you through a portal before Loki can even finish pulling out his knives

at first, you really can't stand either of them

Thor is... too much muscle, not enough brain

while Loki on the other hand is half part brain, half part whining weasel

You honestly feel like you got stuck babysitting the two of them, and there's a part of you that hopes this mission Stephen sent you on won't be so bad after all

Of course, everything sort of went to shit when you found yourself on Sakaar

You were the first to arrive, and were admittedly terrified when you came face to face with the Grandmaster

you had powers and were strong enough to defend yourself, sure, but this seemed like a whole other ball of wax entirely

You chucked a few illusions here, as well as a couple fancy tricks you learned from Stephen there, and soon enough you became the Grandmaster's... magic show.

It was disappointing really, to know that your powers were being used to amaze three headed ogres and other folks who looked like they walked straight out of the Capitol from The Hunger Games, but at least you weren't fighting in the arena

or worse... dead.

to your surprise, Loki showed up a week later -- escorted to your room by none other than the Grandmaster himself

"Y/N, I've got another wizard for you!"

(you swear you can see Loki's jaw clench at the Grandmaster's term, and it takes all you can not to laugh)

"He can do illusions too. Maybe you two can, y'know, think up a big show for us tonight."

Loki's surprised to see you (and also relieved to see a familiar face, finally), but he quickly disguises his relief as disgust before you can think anything more of it

"I'm not sharing my bed." You say tightly, and Loki shoots you a glare before settling down on the couch in the corner of the room

At first, the two of you barely talk to each other despite sharing a room

You really just throw some illusions together during your show, and then head back to the room to sulk in silence

It honestly starts to feel like you're living the same day over and over, that is until you wake up to the sound of screaming

You rush over to Loki, to find he was having a violent nightmare

When he finally wakes up, terror in his eyes and not fully registering his surroundings, you place a hand over his forehead gently

You remembered an incantation you read once while at the Sanctum, one that could calm even the most restless mind, and you mumbled the words to the best of your ability

To your relief, Loki's breathing slowed as the last of his nightmare faded away

"You okay?"

You don't know why, but you find yourself reaching to hold Loki's hand in both of your own

His fear, his memories... you could almost feel them physically reverberate in you

maybe your initial conceptions about Loki were wrong, after all. Maybe he wasn't nearly as bad as you thought

you go out of your way to try and be a little nicer to him, sneaking in drinks and other treats you managed to grab on your way out of the Grandmaster's parties for him to try

sometimes, the two of you would even stay up until the early hours of morning, sharing stories and laughing together and actually feeling happy

for a garbage planet, maybe things weren't quite so bad.

until the night you had a nightmare. you could've sworn it was real, the way everyone in your dream seemed to dissolve into ash right in front of your eyes

you didn't realize you were crying out in your sleep until Loki woke you up, the entire situation reminiscent of when you first caught him having a nightmare of his own

you see the worry in his eyes, and you can't stop yourself from crying as the events from your dream played through your mind

"It's alright. It's not real. You're safe, Y/N. You're safe."

Loki repeats those words quietly like a lullaby until your breathing calms, and you grab his wrist before he can retreat back over to the couch

"Please stay."

the two of you don't realize just how touchstarved you are until you're both lying together, holding each other as if the world were about to end

(i'm getting Pompeii-esque visuals, am i crying??? maybe)

as your relationship progresses into purgatory-type territory -- somewhere between friendship and romance -- you realize the connection between the two of you grows stronger

specifically, the telepathic connection

before you know it, you can hear Loki's thoughts, and he can hear yours

you suspect it has something to do with the incantation you used to heal him after his nightmare

(you never did read the warnings on that one. oops.)

after a while, the two of you managed to control your telepathic abilities, to the point where you didn't hear the other's each and every thought

there was only a soft buzzing noise in the background of your mind, as if Loki's energy was gently reminding you he was there

Loki found your thoughts incredibly irritating at first

especially how you never seemed to shut up when you were nervous

there was a certain comfort in knowing you were only a thought away, though. especially when the day finally comes when you have to battle Hela

there's a moment when you're convinced Loki had died -- when he ran back into the palace to summon Surtur -- and your breath stops all together in your throat

for a few seconds, you couldn't hear his thoughts anymore. the constant white noise in the back of your mind was gone

when it suddenly resumes out of nowhere as you flew away from the remains of Asgard with Thor and everyone else, you couldn't help but make a run for Loki

you found him in one of the sleeping quarters on the ship, and before you could think twice, you kissed him. hard.

"You idiot! You could've died!"

You can't stop the tears of relief and the smile that lights up your face as you take him in

"I didn't die, however. I'm still here."

All you can do is laugh, and to your utmost delight, Loki pulls you in for another kiss

except this time, you freeze.

"Do you have the Tesseract?"

the way Loki's hands tense around your waist tells you everything

"...why would you think that?"

"I'm a mystic, you idiot! I practically pick up on energy for a living!"

Realizing he really can't hide anything from you, Loki materializes the Tesseract and holds it out to you carefully

"What were you hoping to achieve with this?" You ask, your voice nothing more than a horrified whisper

the lost look in his eyes tells you everything: he wasn't really sure, himself.

you conjure a portal and send the Tesseract far, far away from the two of you, and you can almost see the relief visibly fill Loki's eyes as that temptation disappeared

You realized as you landed back on Earth that the two of you were finally safe. You were home, and you had Loki now, too.

Things were going to be okay.

Until of course, the day your visions started.

#headcanon of the day #loki x reader #loki x gender neutral reader #loki x reader headcanon #loki laufeyson #loki imagine #loki x reader headcanons #the avengers #thor ragnarok #doctor strange #mcu loki #loki hc #loki x reader hc

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avengersassemble-fics · 3 years

Text

Stark's Girl

part 015/015 "the real hero"

previous part

masterlist

word count nearly 9k whoops

an: okay so... this is long and honestly... be prepared for an ending that took me days to write. i do not take any ownership on dialogue/scenes used from endgame, and i tried to make it original as well... anyways, here's the final part, and i can't wait to see what y'all think of the ending :3 oop i cried three times in this so be ready.

Was this actually going to work? Were the Avengers really about to get everyone back? According to Tony.. No. There were too many factors against it.

You tried to talk to him about it that night, but Tony avoided the conversation like the plague. By the morning Tony had disappeared and you were set to head back to the Compound that evening. You hadn’t heard from anyone if they had gotten anywhere beyond Tony’s involvement but it raised the question.. Who would even be able to make it work besides him? Hank Pym had been blipped, and as far as you knew this must be outside of Banner’s expertise. Tony was avoiding you, and that bugged you.

You understood the hesitation, but you knew how tore up he was about losing the Parker kid, even to this day. Morgan and Pepper were his world, this was his fresh start, so if it didn’t work then it was all for nothing. But what if it did? Then everyone would be back, and things would go back to how they were.

You zipped your bag shut and reached for your phone that laid on the bed. There were no new messages and you couldn’t help but sigh when there was a light tap on the door frame behind you. You glanced over your shoulder before tossing your phone into the bag and picking it up, and facing your brother fully. “Look who decided to say goodbye.”

“Got everything?” Tony asked and motioned his hands. “Clothes, toiletries-”

“I have everything,” you reassured him. “Was that all or.. Do you wanna talk about it?”

Tony sighed and shoved his hands into his pockets. You dropped your bag to the floor and sat down on your bed, and pat the spot next to you. Tony pushed himself off the door frame and ended up by your side, and you hit him with your shoulder. “Go on old man.”

“I hate it when you call me that,” Tony grumbled before he sighed and looked at you. “I just don’t see it working. And I can’t risk losing all of this.”

“I get that Tony, I really do,” you replied. You slid closer to him and snaked your arm through his and rested your head against his arm. “What you have here it’s.. Well I haven’t seen anything like it since mom and dad.”

“But you want me to figure it out,” Tony said. You sighed and looked up at him.

“I just.. I want to know if you really think it won’t work.”

Tony sighed and shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know.”

“It’s never been explored, I get that,” you told him. You unlatched yourself from his side and stood, and grabbed your bag before placing a hand on your brother's shoulder. “I have to get back and see what they’ve come up with though.”

Tony placed his hand over yours and gave you a tight squeeze. He spent the rest of the day with one question on his mind.

Would it work?

When you got back to the Compound the sun was nearly setting, and you sat in your car after switching the engine off. You pulled out the velvet box from your bag and ran your thumb over the top a couple times before pushing the lid open and staring at the contents. The ring inside still had a gleam to it, and you smiled a bit at it. You snapped the box shut and got out the car with your bag in tow, and headed inside. There was a strange brown van parked in the large hangar that made you slow your pace a bit, but you shook it off and continued on your way to the common room. As you got closer you could hear more and more chatter, and prepared yourself for what you were about to walk in on.

“I only have enough Pym particles for a few more goes,” you could hear Scott saying. “So I hope you were able to figure it out.”

“I got it down.. Mostly,” another voice said. It sounded almost like.. Banner?

When you came around the corner you were met with what looked like equations, workarounds, and everyone’s back to you. You had heard about “Professor Hulk” (that’s what his students called him at least) but you hadn’t seen Banner since after the blip. It was definitely, well, something. You came to a halt and couldn’t help but smile. “I see you guys have made progress since I saw you.”

Everyone turned around and Natasha approached with a smile. “Did he come around?”

“No,” you admitted. “He has a family now Nat, they mean the world to him.. And he doesn’t think it’ll work.”

“Well,” Nat looked back at Banner before he moved out of the way. “We might have a start.”

Bruce (Hulk?) explained everything. Tomorrow they would attempt time travel by sending Scott back to the 1950’s, and pull him right back. He said it would be easy, and checked his work multiple times to prove it. It sounded plausible, but until the morning no one would really know if it could work. Your nerves were shot at just the thought of it, and decided to make yourself some tea. You weren’t a huge fan, so as you dipped your tea bag into the hot water of your mug, the smell made you shake your head.

“You should try adding some honey.”

You glanced up from your mug at Steve walking into the kitchen. He stopped at a cabinet and pulled out a container filled with golden honey. He made his way to your side and set it on the counter, and you graciously took it and swirled some of it into the steaming cup. You lifted the cup to your lips and took a small sip, and turned to rest your hip against the counter and face Steve. “You think it’ll work?”

“It has to,” Steve said. His hand came up to rub one of your arms. “We owe it to everyone we lost to at least try.”

You nodded at his words and tapped your mug lightly in thought, and something surged through you. You set the mug down and reached into your pocket and pulled out the velvet box he had given you just days prior. Steve felt his heart stop at the sight, and his stomach twisted as you placed it on the counter between you both.

“I know you said you’d give me as much time as I needed, but.. I don’t need time to decide my answer.”

“I’m sorry,” Steve mumbled. “I guess I read too much into things-”

“Steve,” you cut him off from even finishing that thought. You placed your right hand up on his cheek, and Steve met your gaze. “The answer is yes.”

“Yes?” He asked quietly, and you nodded.

“Yes,” you repeated, and couldn’t help but giggle when a smile spread over his face. Steve pulled you into his arms like you were going to disappear right in front of him. When he set you back down you watched as he grabbed the velvet box and opened it, and pulled the ring out. He gently grabbed your left hand and as he slid the ring onto your finger, it felt like both of you weren’t breathing. You held your hand up to look at the gold band and diamond on your finger, and Steve’s smile fell.

“Are you okay?”

You met his gaze again and nodded. “I just never thought this would ever happen for someone like me.”

Admitting that to him felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders. Steve’s look turned more understanding and he took your hand and placed a chaste kiss to your fingers. He pulled you into his embrace and your arms wrapped around his waist and head laid on his chest, while his arms held your body close. You had the sneaking suspicion the last few months that Steve did know what had been running through your mind, and this felt like confirmation. Your confession was absolute, and Steve understood it. And he would spend everyday making sure you knew you were worth it until the end.

It was the first night you spent together, welcoming one another’s embraces in a quiet and tender moment. To you, you had felt like it would be one of the last quiet moments before finding out if time travel was possible, because from there it would be non-stop until they got everyone back. You knew it, and Steve did too. One last night of quiet, then one last time saving the world. So Steve took residence in your room once more, sharing your bed and holding you so you knew you were worth this.

The next morning came too soon, peeking through your shades until FRIDAY opened them higher like you had scheduled. Steve traced his fingers up and down your arm that draped across him for awhile before duty called. Begrudgingly you both changed and went to the hangar hand in hand, only separating when you got in view of everyone. Natasha though never misses anything.

“Good morning love birds,” she quipped while typing away on a computer near Banner. As you two neared you came to her side and nudged her with your arm gently to take over.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you replied back and met Steve’s gaze with a little smile.

“The ring on your finger says different,” she threw back your way. Banner looked down over the exchange and saw what Natasha had been talking about.

“What? Since when!” He asked.

“Recently,” Steve offered. Banner tapped his rather large hand on your back and shot a finger Steve’s way.

“I always knew you two would work it out, congratulations.”

“Speaking of working out,” Natasha cut in. “Are we ready?”

“Almost there,” Banner said as he worked on a couple more calculations. “I’m going to go over this with (Y/N).. Cap do you mind setting the breakers and getting the emergency generators ready just in case?”

“Got it,” Steve said. With one final glance between you both he casted a smile and walked back into the compound. Banner hovered over your shoulder and walked you through the equations running through the sequence, and also working in the Pym particles into that. You followed it for the most part, but for some reason something didn’t add up, you just couldn’t put your finger on it. Tossing caution to the wind (you weren’t a genius like Banner was of course) the sound of footsteps echoed in the hangar, and Steve made his way back.

“Alright, here we go. Time travel test number one. Scott you can fire up the uh, the van thing,” Banner instructed. Scott, in what looked like a retro Ant Man suit, powered up the Quantum tunnel and you double checked Banner’s work.

“Breakers are set, emergency generators are on standby,” Steve said as he walked back to your and Natasha’s side.

“Good. ‘Cause if we lose the grid I don’t want to lose Tiny here in the 1950’s,” Banner said lightly. Everyone’s gaze went to him in shock.

“Excuse me?” Scott asked from near the van.

“He’s kidding!” Natasha told him, before turning and whispering to the group. “You can’t say things like that!”

“Yeah, just a bad joke!” Banner said loudly for Scott, and offered him a thumbs up. Scott nodded hesitantly and smiled nervously.

“You were kidding right?” You asked. Banner lowered his voice again.

“I have no idea. We’re talking about time travel here. Either it’s all a joke or none of it is,” Banner explained, though it didn’t calm any of your hesitations. Banner looked back to Scott and gave him a nod. “We’re gonna send you back a week, let you walk around an hour, then bring you back in 10 seconds. Make sense?”

“Perfectly not confusing,” Scott tried to level with humor.

“Good luck, Scott. You got this,” Steve offered in encouragement which Scott gave a more confident smile.

“You’re right. I do, Captain America.”

You met Scott’s gaze for a moment before giving him a nod of approval, and with Banner’s direction you pressed a button and Scott disappeared into the tunnel. Silence fell over the group, and you exchanged glances with Steve, who put his hand on the small of your back. Banner, with his arms crossed keeping track of time on his abnormally large watch gave you a nod.

“On the count of three. Three.. Two.. One!”

In the same sequence as before you pressed the button and the Quantum Tunnel spit a figure back out… But it was not the same one you sent in. They were younger, and your heart dropped as Banner moved you out the way.

“Guys? Uh this doesn’t feel right,” the teen said, and everyone’s attention shot to Banner.

“What is this?” Steve asked.

“Who is that?” Natasha asked next and Banner mumbled to himself.

“Jesus, is that Scott?” You asked this time and Banner huffed.

“Yes, it’s Scott!” Banner exclaimed. Before anyone could get a grasp on the situation, Banner hit buttons and teen Scott was sucked back into the Quantum Tunnel, only for an older man to be spit back out.

“My back,” the old Scott said and Steve shuffled next to you to face Banner fully.

“Can you bring him back?” Steve asked and Banner tapped the buttons furiously.

“I’m working on it!”

Tensions were high as old Scott got sucked back in and in a flash another body was spit out. The Ant-Man suit had fallen to the floor and inside was..

“It’s a baby,” you said matter of factly.

“It’s Scott,” Banner countered.

“As a baby!” Nat said again, matter of factly.

“He’ll.. Grow,” Banner offered and Steve shook his head.

“Bring Scott back!” Steve ordered. And Banner looked to Natasha and motioned to the generators.

“When I say kill the power, kill the power,” he instructed her. Natasha nodded before rapidly walking towards the generator and grabbing a hold of the lever. You came up by Banner’s side again to see what he was doing and he pointed at Nat. “Kill it!”

Nat pulled the power and out shot regular Scott, which made everyone sigh in relief. Scott, on the other hand, stood there in disbelief and admitted something quietly. “Somebody peed my pants.. But I don’t know if it was baby me or old me.”

You glanced Steve’s way and offered a sad smile. Tony was right, this wasn’t going to work. Natasha came back to the group and mumbled a thank god, while Steve wrapped his arm around your shoulders.

It wasn’t going to work. It was a grim thought, and everyone got their hopes up for nothing. Though Banner still tried to remain optimistic, and threw his hands up in triumph.

“Time travel!” Banner exclaimed, only earning a few shakes of the head. Steve motioned his head in a direction and off you two went, leaving behind Nat and Banner, and Scott who didn’t know what to do about his situation.

Steve had led you outside into the sunlight, where he removed himself from your side and let you walk out of the shade and close your eyes. He felt defeated, and took a seat on a hard surface and casted his gaze to the ground.

There was no victory, not even an opportunity for it. He had to once again come to terms with the fact he would never see Bucky again, or Sam, or Wanda. Wakanda would never get their King or Princess back, and the kid from Queens would never get to step foot back in the city. Steve was so lost in thought he nearly missed what you said.

“Holy shit,” you said out loud. Steve averted his gaze back to you, only to see what you had referred to. A car was fast approaching, and he knew just who was behind the wheel. Steve was by your side before the car came to a halt before you and the window rolled down.

“Why the long faces?” Tony asked.

You couldn’t help the smile that broke out over your face. There would only be one reason why Tony would come here (voluntarily)... He figured it out.

“Let me guess.. Lang turned into a baby,” Tony said and you covered your mouth to hide your grin. Steve nodded beside you and shoved his hands into his pockets.

“Among other things, yeah. What are you doing here?” Steve asked. Tony removed his sunglasses and tossed them onto the passenger seat before stepping out the car. He walked around the back, and opened the trunk.

“That’s the EPR Paradox. Instead of pushing Lang through time, you must’ve pushed time through Lang. It’s tricky, dangerous even. Somebody should’ve cautioned you on it,” Tony went on explaining. Steve smiled a bit and nodded at him.

“You did,” Steve admitted and Tony put his hand over his chest, acting shocked.

“Did I? Well thank God I’m here,” Tony replied while fishing something out of his pocket. It looked like a funky little watch, which he promptly tossed your way and you caught easily. “Regardless, I fixed it. That is a fully functioning Time-Space GPS.”

“Son of a bitch,” you mumbled to yourself looking at the device in your hands.

“And don’t think I didn’t notice that,” Tony pointed from where he was. You looked at where he was pointing and smiled at the sight of the ring on your finger. “I just want peace, if you’re okay with it.”

“Of course I am Tony,” Steve confirmed and Tony sighed as he lowered his voice for the two of you.

“We got a shot at getting these stones, but I gotta tell you my priorities. Bring back what we lost? I hope so, yes of course. Keep what I got?” Tony paused while focused on you and nodded at him. “I have to, at all costs.. and maybe not die trying would be nice.”

“Sounds like a deal,” Steve agreed and offered Tony his hand, and you watched them shake on the promise. Tony pulled one last thing from the trunk of his car and Steve looked uncertain to take it. “Tony-“

“Why? He made it for you,” Tony insisted. And finally.. Steve took the shield once more.

“Looks good, Cap,” you commented, earning one of those looks from Steve and Tony shut his trunk.

“Ew. Please I don’t need to hear that.”

The Compound was about to be bustling once more. It was one of the more festive dinners the Avengers compound had seen in awhile, nearly every seat occupied and chatter among everyone. Pizza was the easier choice for the evening, and you had found yourself looking for a seat near Nat, Tony, and Steve who had engrossed themselves in early talks.

Clint had proven that Tony’s way of time travel worked, though it had taken a couple weeks to get it ready. You learned the calculations for entry points and exits, then re-entry back to the present. It was confusing, but the thought of getting the world back to normal was worth the late night lectures with Tony.

So now it was down to figuring out where and how to get all the stones as they are scattered throughout time. There wasn’t a clear path though, not yet anyway. But as you came up to the trio you could hear them still discussing it.

“I’m so glad we have the Three Stooges figuring this out,” you commented as Steve welcomed you to sit in his lap. Tony tossed a napkin your way and you chuckled before taking a glance around the room. “It’s nice to see all these faces again.”

“Hopefully soon it’s everyone,” Natasha offered. Her hope never died these last five years, and it made you nod in agreement as you bit into your slice of pizza. One of Steve’s hands ran up and down the side of your hip, and everything felt a little more normal.

“Lang only has enough particles for ten round trips, one for each of us,” Tony went on about, though you quickly swallowed the bite of pizza you had to inject.

“What about me-“

“No,” Steve and Tony said in unison. You narrowed your gaze at them both and took an angry bite of your pizza. It was ridiculous that they made the decision you were to stay here and track them on the time heist.

“Thor and Rocket could go for the Reality Stone in 2013,” Steve offered.

“Clint and I can get the Soul Stone, Nebula and Rhodey can handle the Power Stone.. We know where those are in 2014,” Natasha said out loud.

“That still leaves three stones and four of us,” Tony sighed. You shrugged your shoulders and took a bite of the crust you had left.

“I mean if you pick the right year, there’s three stones in New York,” you said off the top of your head. When silence fell among the group and you looked up to see them all staring at you you raised a brow. “What?”

“What did you just say?” Tony asked and you blinked at him.

“I said if you pick the right year there are three stones in New York?” You replied and when everyone still looked confused you sighed. “The wizard had the Time Stone, you guys had the Space Stone aka the Tesseract, and Loki’s scepter had the Mind Stone.”

It was silent, everyone seemed to be processing what you said when Banner came up to the group, but Tony was already in motion. “There’s only one pizza left can I have it-“

“Jolly Green take a look at this,” Tony said as he whipped out a small device and displayed images in the room. His actions made everyone else look on as he moved pictures, air typed words, and took a step back to show everyone. Tony put his hands on his hips and Banner looked surprised.

“Shut the front door.”

“This is it,” Natasha stood and looked on. “This is how we get all the stones in one go.”

For once you were glad to have caught up on all those confidential SHIELD documents on what you had missed.

No..

No no no. No it wasn’t supposed to be like this. This wasn’t supposed to happen, no one was supposed to die.. This was supposed to fix everything, but not this. No.. No it wasn’t true. What Clint was saying couldn’t be true.

He fell to his knees, he had to be picked up from the floor as he recounted what happened. A soul for a soul, he said. It shouldn’t have been the price but it was, he said.

It couldn’t be true.

The thought just ran over and over again in your mind the rest of the day. Everyone had gone to the lake and discussed it more but that one line just kept running over you. Clint insisted there was no other way, there was no give backs.

She bet her life on it.

Tony crafted a gauntlet to house the stones in. He carefully placed each like where Thanos had them originally. He was precise, this was delicate after all. Someone died to make this happen.

Steve was distant. You chalk it up to being focused on the situation at hand.

But who should snap?

Thor offered but was met with (quickly) apprehension from everyone. Tony said he was in no condition to do so, so Bruce said it should be him.

“You saw what those stones did to Thanos. It almost killed him. None of you could survive,” Banner said.

“How do we know you will?” You asked. It was one of the first times you had spoken up in days, and seemed to shock everyone a little bit.

Honestly, you couldn’t handle someone else dying right now.

There was no way to know for sure, but it was time to find out. This time you weren’t letting anyone tell you not to join, and you grabbed the nano suit attachment Tony had made for you. The chest pendant stuck to your shirt and like a second skin it dispersed the suit over your body, leaving your face still exposed.

You came up by Steve’s side and he glanced your way and sighed. “I don’t think this is a good idea.”

“Let me be here for this,” you said lowly. Steve didn't question you again, and strapped his shield tighter to his arm as Scott came to his side and gave him a ready nod.

“FRIDAY do me a favor and activate Barn Door Protocol will you?” tony asked.

Barn Door Protocol was simple. There were protective blast doors that closed the Compound in the event of a catastrophic event. It protected every square inch of the facility-

You get the point by now. It’s in case some shit goes down.

The room got slightly darker, and Tony gave you a nod across the room and both your helmets covered your faces. Tony projected a shield before him and Clint, and you shifted in your place.

This was it: one last mission.

Banner slowly put on the gauntlet, the metal growing over his enlarged hand, and when it fit snugly the stones began to glow and you could see their power begin to surge through him. Suddenly, Banner fell to his knee and grunted in pain.

“Take it off!” Thor hollered.

“No, wait,” Steve called over the chaos. “Bruce you okay?”

“Talk to us, Banner,” you tried to reason over the conflicting voices.

“I’m okay, I’m okay,” Bruce reassured everyone and even attempted to give a thumbs up. But the scene unfolding told you (and probably everyone) that Bruce was not okay. He screamed in pain, holding his hand that housed the gauntlet and just when you thought he was going to pass out from the pain he was in--

-- He snapped.

Bruce fell to the ground and the gauntlet slid off his hand and Clint kicked it away. Steve rushes to his side and you move to do the same but Tony stops you.

“Don’t move him,” Tony instructed and Bruce gripped onto Steve’s arm.

“Did it work? Bruce asked immediately. Everyone glanced around, unsure if it did or not.

Nothing felt different, nothing screamed yes it worked. Tony iced Bruce’s affected arm and just when the dust was settling-

A bad choice of words. Suddenly everything evaporated around you. Explosions, debris, rock and dirt flying everywhere. Everything was disorienting, nothing truly felt settled for minutes. You weren’t sure how long time had passed, but there was chatter in your ear and you gasped back to life.

“We’re drowning! Does anybody copy? Mayday!” Rhodey’s voice rang a little choppy.

You groaned as you pushed yourself up, feeling the same water building around you. Rhodey, Rocket and Hulk came into view and you forced yourself up, having to crouch because of the fallen pieces of cement. You rushed over as water continued to fill the small cramped area, and came to Bruce’s side.

Your boots cemented themselves to whatever ground you stood on and helped push the cement that was threatening you all. “I got you, big guy.”

See you on the other side, man,” Rhodey said to Rocket who was next to him. The water was quickly rising, and this didn’t feel real.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

Bruce and you couldn’t bear the weight, not with the water circling your necks. It was an ironic death, because your life did flash before your eyes. Seeing your parents death, seeing Tony again, that date with Steve where he kissed you in the rain, then the flashes of Siberia, Natasha’s last smile.. You wouldn’t admit this to anyone until much later, but you welcomed this ending.

Suddenly something cupped you all and air rushed around you. The large hand hugged you all carefully, and when they released you the scene of the outside world was a punch in the stomach, but there was no time to reflect. You could see that Purple Titan from this far, and you could also make out the size of his army.

And by the looks of it, Bruce’s snap worked.

Bruce leaped out of Scott’s hand and Rhodey, back in his suit hovered with Rocket, and you landed by his side. The chants of the Wakandan tribes ring in the air, but one voice cuts over the comms in your suit and you clutch your fists.

“Avengers!” Steve calls out.

“Assemble.”

Both forces charge one another, Thanos still on the battlefield pointing his legion on. You had flown in with Rhodey by your side as both sides met in a chaotic middle, and landed before one of the ugly Sakaaran aliens and ricocheting them backwards with the repulsors in your palm. Asgardians, Wakandan forces, wizards, and fellow Avengers fought all around you. Landing by your side, your brother shot another alien backwards past you.

“You alright?” his voice projected into your suit. An alien charged you and you grabbed it around the neck and propelled yourself upwards before using the momentum to slam the body back down to the ground.

“Oh just the usual Tuesday,” you replied before someone landed beside you two.

“Mr. Stark! Hey! Holy cow-” the young kid started. You gave your brother an understanding nod, and flew back up into the air, eyes landing on an incoming Leviathan, heading straight for Clint.

“Anyone have my back with the big space worm?” You asked over the comms, while cycling through the weapon options of your suit quickly.

“I got it!” Scott called over the comms and you took a play out of your brothers book. Scott was charging forward and as the Leviathan came near the forces fighting below, he punched the space worm, and with your charge ready, a small missile shot out from your suit and into a now exposed piece of flesh and exploded the Leviathan. Scott continued on, but in your state of distraction one of the Chitauri from the ground leapt up and pulled your downwards.

Shocked, the alien slammed your back down to the ground, and with a scepter like device flourished downward to pin you. You stopped the scepter just before impacting your chest and huffed and you tried to push them off, but they’re a lot heavier than they look. Before you have time to panic, the alien is thrown off of you, and a couple shots ring through the air.

Standing above you is Bucky Barnes.

Barnes lowers his gun and looks down at you, before offering his exposed vibranium hand for you to take. Without hesitation, you grip his hand and he pulls you up but not without lingering his hand in yours before letting you go, and you give him a nod.

“Thank you,” you tell him. “That’s two I owe you.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Barnes replied. Both of your attention is pulled away when chatter erupts in your ears.

“We have incoming!” Someone shouted. Everyone turned their attention above as the looming ship Thanos arrived in began to fire. The same explosions that rocked the Compound hit the ground in the same destructive way, but the wizards (you really needed to learn the correct term for them) began to make shields to cover the people around them. You projected the shield Tony had integrated into these new suits and held it above you while Barnes shot at a couple more aliens who were still attempting to attack.

“Guess that’s only one you owe me,” Barnes said next to you and you let your helmet disappear to look at him fully.

“Did you just make a joke?” You asked and he shrugged.

“I do that sometimes,” he replied and you smiled a bit before your helmet reappeared over your face.

Above, you could just barely make out the Spider kid with the gauntlet being carried away on a Pegasus before you see them get knocked off the winged horse. But there was no telling how to get the ship to stop firing on both forces below, and that started to sit badly in the pit of your stomach. But in near perfect timing, the cannons stopped, and everyone around looked at one another in question (including you and Barnes). Your shield disappeared and the cannons moved to point upwards, and shot into the sky.

“What are they firing at?” You asked over the comms, before FRIDAY answered that something was entering the atmosphere.

In a blazing ball of glory shoots down from the sky and into a part of the ship, straight through, and then back in, all before shooting out as the ship began to crumble below her. You smiled behind your helmet before refocusing on the scene before you.

Get the gauntlet to the brown van, and put an end to Thanos once and for all.

“See you on the other side, Barnes,” you commented to him before shooting back off into the thick of it all. In a matter of seconds Thanos threw his sword towards the brown van and almost in slow motion, the gauntlet is lost in the dirt. You land besides Steve, who seemed to have almost forgot you had been here during this.

“(Y/N)-”

“We can’t let him get that gauntlet again,” you said to him, your eyes trained on your brother who was heading that way. “We can’t lose anyone else.”

Instead of arguing with you, Steve nodded in agreement and he outstretched his hand, and Mjolnir flew into his grasp, his shield on the other arm. Side by side you charged towards Thanos just as he smacked your brother away, Thor arriving at the same time. The two men teamed up to distract Thanos, and you focused your attention on the gauntlet, whose stones shined under the grim that now governed it. You could see Thanos overpower both Thanos and Steve, and with no one else in sight you picked the gauntlet up and back into the air you went. But you didn’t get very far, a large hand grabbing ahold of one of your legs and pulled you backwards, and for the first time you came face to face with the Titan who ruined everything.

Thanos used his free hand to grab a hold of your neck and released your leg, and you felt the metal of your suit dig into your sin as you gasped for air. Thanos looked you over, as if he could see your frightened expression behind your suit, and with his free hand he plucked the gauntlet from you and looked it over. His hand still was tight around your neck, and your vision began to fade before he looked back at you.

“Pathetic,” he muttered to you, before tossing you away. You weren’t sure how far you landed, but the impact shocked your body. You could feel yourself come in and out of consciousness, hazy vision of the dark clouds in the sky moving ever so slightly each time you came too. It wasn’t until the snarl of an Outrider nearing you did you finally find the strength to push yourself up, but before it lunged at you.. It disappeared into the wind like dust.

Pushing yourself up, you watched as all around all of Thanos’ different forces began to crumble away into dust. The Chitauri, the Sakaraans, and the Outriders all disappear before your very eyes in the same manner half the world did five years ago. You pushed yourself forward, over a heap of debris in what seemed like just enough time to see Thanos sit himself down in the middle of an open area. Thunder crackled above, and Thanos crumbled away into dust as well.

It.. It was over. It was really over.

Your helmet disappeared so you could see the spectacle for yourself. The only people still around were the Avengers, and everyone who helped that day (you would call them Avengers as well). You smiled a bit as your eyes landed on Steve who was focused somewhere else, but then he looked around frantically before spotting you. His expression made your chest hurt as you looked to where he had been staring previously.

No..

You could see Tony fall to the ground and people begin to surround him. There was an urgency in each step you took and when someone tried to stop you you pulled your hand from their grasp to get closer. You needed to see your brother, he had to be okay.

He just had to be.

When you finally got to his side you felt your heart stop. Peter was being pulled off the ground by Rhodey, while Pepper took his spot. She was stroking the side of Tony’s face, and whispering something to him you couldn’t hear. You found yourself taking in every detail, but still you couldn’t believe what you were witnessing. Tony stared off into the distance, his body was… It was just completely eaten up from what you knew were the stones. He was the one who snapped, and you shook your head in disbelief.

He was supposed to go home after this.

People looked at you, and Pepper glanced behind to meet your gaze. She held out her hand and you took a heavy step forward, until you kneeled down in front of your big brother… But his eyes held nothing in them anymore. Carefully you grabbed his hand that Pepper wasn’t holding and you gave him a squeeze, not really sure what to say.

With a shaky hand you reached out to stroke the side of his face that wasn’t burned, but your touch did nothing to get a response from him. You could feel the tears fall down your cheeks as you watched him barely breath, and you shook your head.

“I love you so much,” you managed before the sobs in your chest ached to be released. “I love you-”

Just as you were struggling to get the last words out, the light of his arc reactor went out. You gasped lowly as Pepper fell forward to sob into Tony’s shoulder, and someone pulled you off the ground as your sobs were just starting. Steve had pulled you into his embrace as you cried, and the somber feeling carried through everyone else.

You had lost the last piece of family you had left.

Uncertainty. That was the one thing that had settled into your life those days between the battle and Tony’s funeral. Those of you who needed it found yourselves in a hotel in the city, and each of your days blended together in the same way. You slept all day, most of the time waking up and opting to stay in bed and stare ahead.. Your eyes burned, and you didn’t know what to do with yourself.

Steve stayed with you, though it was hard on him. When you first arrived, you nearly immediately got into the bed and under the sheets, and he couldn’t coax you out for two days. He opened the blinds to the windows, but you stared blankly out, and when he came with food you told him you weren’t hungry. He tried to help, but he didn’t know how.

The day before the funeral, when he finally got you to eat oatmeal (even if it was just a couple spoonfuls) and managed to get you into the shower, he tucked you back into bed and you went to sleep once more. He stayed in the room for a while, his own thoughts heavy on his mind, before going to the one person he knew would understand him the most.

When Bucky answered the door, he gave him a sad smile and let him into his room. Steve walked in and stopped in front of the windows overlooking the city, which was now bustling with life again. Bucky came up behind him, and Steve could hear him open the mini fridge in the room and pull something out.

“How is she?” Bucky asked. Steve sighed and turned back to face his friend while crossing his arms.

“I got her to eat a bit, but Buck… I’ve never seen her like this and I.. I don’t know what to do,” Steve admitted. Bucky sat himself on the edge of his bed with a water bottle in his hand and sighed.

“You just have to be there for her, Steve,” Bucky offered. “No matter how long it takes.”

The guilt on his conscience was too much, and Steve nodded in response. He took a seat in the chair across from the bed and rubbed his hands together, all while Bucky took sips from his water and watched him closely. Bucky knew he was holding something back.

“Steve.. What’s going on in that head of yours?”

Steve looked up to meet his best friend's gaze, before looking back down to the ground. “I… I don’t think I belong here anymore, Buck.”

Bucky’s brows narrowed as he looked at his friend. Where was this coming from? Hethought you two would’ve worked things out in the five years he was gone, Bucky had only assumed so since Steve was by your side during this.. He thought Steve moved on from this kind of talk. “What do you mean Steve.”

“What if I should go back?” Steve asked him, meeting Bucky’s gaze again. “There’s a way now and… And I saw Peggy-”

“You saw Peggy?” Bucky asked, and Steve gave him a nod. “Steve now think about this… I thought you were over this, I thought you were set on making things right with (Y/N)-”

“I was,” Steve cut him off this time. “But Buck when I saw Peggy… There’s something telling me that… That it was always supposed to be her.”

“Yeah, maybe back then,” Bucky conceded. “But Steve think about now. You’re here for a reason, not back there… I thought you passed this.”

“Maybe I never was,” Steve asserted. Bucky looked over his friend, and he shook his head and stood up again.

“I think you should consider this a lot more than you have… Because there is someone really hurting right now, and she needs you,” Bucky told him. “I don’t know if you two worked it out over these last few years but Steve you need to think about this.”

Tony was… Exceptional. He was what you had always wanted to be when you grew up. And maybe that was more true now than ever.

You found yourself unable to do a lot of things the last few days, including dress yourself for this funeral. You felt sickly, but the cries had drawn themselves out and left you too tired to continue today. You were there for the entirety of Tony’s message to his family, and Steve was still by your side as Pepper set a wreath with an old arc reactor into the lake by their home.

You felt empty. Emptier and more alone than you had ever felt.

When you managed to be alone you had wandered off by yourself to Tonys’ work shed and pried it open. Dust lingered in the air, and you entered slowly with hands shoved into the pockets of the coat you had been wearing. You were chilly, probably getting sick, but you ignored the thought as you turned the light on to see better.

What you had been searching for was staring at you like it had been weeks ago. Slightly discolored, the photo of Tony and you from when you were younger screamed at you of a feeling you’d never feel again. You reached out for it with a shakiness you couldn’t control and grabbed it, and traced your fingers over the glass front before holding it to your chest in an effort to comfort the pain in your heart.

The floor echoed as someone entered, and you wiped the tears from your face as they came up behind you. They didn’t sound like Steve’s footsteps, and you turned to face the person who must’ve followed you out.

“I’m so sorry for your loss,” Bucky Barnes said to you. You found yourself nodding and looked back down at the photo you were clinging onto.

“Me too,” you admitted quietly. When you met Bucky’s gaze again he looked like he wanted to say something, but Steve came up behind him and the moment was stopped. Steve glanced between you two before refocusing on you, and he cleared his throat.

“Happy has something for you,” Steve admitted and you gave him a nod. Steve waited for you to pass him before Bucky turned his way and gave him a knowing look. Though they hadn’t discussed it since, Bucky hoped Steve had come to his senses.

Things never felt normal for you, not as soon as people seemed to hope it would. You tried to be more.. Enthusiastic. But how could you just be okay after that?

Weeks had passed since the funeral, and you didn’t feel any better. Happy had given you a drive with a message he said Tony had left for you, but you couldn’t seem to bring yourself to listen to it. Not yet, maybe ever. It was hard enough seeing his face plastered on the news, and in depth reporting on the Stark legacy, with people questioning what you would contribute in the family’s wake. Even Steve had asked you about your commitment to one another… You hate to admit it but you told him you couldn’t right now, not with this pain in your heart. He told you he understood. You weren’t sure if he noticed, but you tucked the ring he had given you back into the velvet box, and then away safely.

But things were uneasy between you two, and you did what you always do. When Bruce called with work, you accepted it. Anything to get you mind off the thoughts that ran rampant. There was one last thing that needed to be done: the stones needed to be returned.

You had memorized every detail of Tony’s work when it came to the Quantum portal. Bruce and you had replicated one in record time, and on a sunny day you stood there beside him double checking the trajectories. Steve had volunteered to return the stones, with no arguments from anyone on the matter.

“Now, remember,” Bruce explained to Steve. “You have to return the stones to the exact moment you got them. Or you're gonna open up a bunch of nasty alternative realities.”

“Don’t worry Bruce, clip all the branches,” Steve said as he messed with the com in his ear. You were too focused on the conversations that unfolded, your mind drifting off for a moment before being pulled back with Bruce setting his hand on your back.

“You okay?” He asked, and you nodded and returned to finalizing the jump.

“I’m fine,” you reassured him and looked up to see Bucky and Steve hug for a moment. Steve stepped up onto the platform and the familiar Quantum suit appeared over him. He picked up the case that had all the stones, and Mjolnir as well.

“How long is this gonna take?” Sam asked.

“For him? As long as he needs. For us? Five seconds,” Bruce explained before meeting Steve’s look. “We’ll meet you back here, okay?”

Steve looked at you, with a look on his face you couldn’t quite place. Your stomach felt like it was twisted in a knot, even though he gave a nod and looked back Bruce’s way.

“You bet,” Steve replied.

“Going quantum in three, two, one..” Bruce counted down before Steve disappeared. You intently watched his stream disappear on the monitor you had before you, and Bruce started counting again. “And returning in five, four, three two, one-”

When Steve didn’t reappear you frantically looked for his stream location, only to see it shoot past his return point. “He blew right past his time stamp-”

Bruce moved you out the way and your gaze focused on the empty Quantum portal, and you shook your head a bit. You could hear the conversations around you, but couldn’t quite make out the words being said. All you knew was Steve didn’t come back. When everyone went quiet your attention went to the three men who were focused in the distance, with Sam heading towards a figure who hadn’t been there before.

You stepped off the platform you had been working on and took a few steps in the grass closer to where Bucky was standing and watching whatever was unfolding. You had your disbelief, but that was crumbled the minute you saw Sam take the shield, and you could now make out it was an old man.

When Tony died time had all but warped together.. But what you were seeing right now had felt like the ground was taken out from under you. The older man had stood and shaken Sam’s hand, and when they looked back at Bucky, when you could see those eyes even from this far you stumbled backwards. They were Steve’s eyes.

Confusion… Panic… Hurt. Everything coursed through you at once, and ignoring the calls from whoever tried to get you to stay, to probably talk about it, you turned away from the scene and pulled the arc attachment from your pocket and desperately threw it onto your chest. The suit that you hadn’t worn since the battle appeared out your body, hid your face behind a helmet and you shot off from the ground with only one destination in your mind.

You had never used the fastest flight power Tony’s suits had to offer but you did that day for the first time. You needed to get back to the hotel you had been staying at quickly, and when you landed on the roof and your suit disappeared as you ran for the entrance to the building, you needed to find it.

Out of breath by the time you made it to your room and threw open the door and it shut behind you, you overlooked your room and couldn’t get your mind together. You hurried over to the bedside table you had hidden what you were looking for and pulled it out the housing completely, only to find it empty.

A frantic panic flooded you, and in a matter of minutes you had nearly destroyed the hotel room, overturning every piece of furniture, overlooking every crevice you could find. You rested your back against a wall and breathed heavily, before sliding down and for the first time in weeks, fresh sobs left your body.

Steve Rogers had taken his ring back. And now you were truly alone…

...In 1974, Howard Stark was going to unveil his City of the Future to the world, but was having a hard time coming up with the right words. Tony had interrupted him once, though he couldn’t hold it against the kid, he was only four and Howard worked late nights. With Maria talking about wanting another kid, Howard was doing whatever he could to set them up for success, and here he was, getting ready to record a message for them.

He just needed to get something off his chest, and he leaned back against his desk with his arms crossed before him, and searched his mind for the right words. He tapped his foot lightly before sighing under his breath.

“I’ve never been a man of many words, as crazy as that sounds. But trying to build all of this, I’ve had to put my best foot forward,” Howard started. He touched the model beside him and looked at the camera. “You don’t know it yet but your mother is talking about having another baby, and I’m… I’m looking forward to that, when it happens.

“Tony, you are too young to understand this right now, so I thought I would put it on film for you. I built this for you, and by the looks of it your brother or sister, and some day you two will realize that it represents a whole lot more than just people's inventions. It represents my life's work. This is the key to the future. I'm limited by the technology of my time, but one day you'll figure this out. And when you do, you will change the world.”

Later on Howard would go on to edit this message, just weeks before his death, to include another message. This one would go unheard for years. Until you were ready, this message sat alongside Tony’s on the drive he left for you.

“You turned five this year. When someone told me that I would become a sucker for my little girl, man did they mean it,” Howard chuckled. Something caught his attention off screen, but he looked at the camera he had set up in his study and on a rare occasion he smiled. “With Tony, he became my vision, the reason why I wanted my work to make the biggest impact on the world… So that he would have the best future. But you? You’re my aspiration. And just like Tony, I know you’re going to change the world… If you both sat through these messages, I just want you to know one last thing.

“What is, and always will be, my greatest creation... is you two."

- - - - - - - - - -

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doctorbunny · 3 years

Text

MILGRAM theory time: Haruka!

This isn't going to go super in depth (famous last words) but there's a few heavily debated parts of Haruka's MV I want to share my findings/thoughts on because I think this is my new special interest and during my quest to get best boy's song to 1 million views I have been looking over his first MV with a fine tooth comb so to speak.

Disclaimer: As the Jackalope said in the "This is the MILGRAM" trailer, we don't necessarily know everyone's crime from just the first video, its possible that a lot of things will be re-contextualized in the second MV, however I am not psychic or bilingual and thus will only be working with content released before August 20th 2021 and translated into English (which could cause some language/cultural details to be lost on me as translation is not a 1 to 1 process).

TW for discussions of ableism, child abuse, murder and animal death. Also this is really long so sorry to all the people that follow me for non-MILGRAM stuff

Firstly, I want to start on the topic of Haruka as a person. He is disabled. He does not have 'the mind of a child' (although he is 17, making him legally a minor in both North America and Japan). He is not just 'child-like'. And he is not mentally ill (well he might be, in the sense that many disabilities like Haruka's have strong comorbidities [where a person has two or more conditions but neither directly causes the other] with anxiety, depression and PTSD, but usually when I see people talk about him 'struggling with mental illness' they go on to refer to aspects of his disability). Sometimes on tumblr, people like myself, will see canonical traits written into a character and identify them as being traits associated with our disabilities/mental illness and headcanon them as such. Sometimes this even involves saying things like "It's basically canon!" Although we understand that these characters were probably not the result of a writer intending to write a disabled person. When I say that Haruka is being written as a person with a neurodevelopmental disability, I mean the writer intended to write a disabled character and wrote them in a way that they wanted the audience to pick up on. As an autistic person (which is one of many neurodevelopmental disorders and also something I probably didn't have to specify because who else would be writing an essay about a series they got into a few days ago at 11 o'clock at night) I really like how Haruka has been written so far. There's definitely some parts of him that have been exaggerated so abled normies can pick up on his disability (namely how his MV 's main motif is really child-like drawings) but the writers also included a lot of smaller details I appreciate like how it is noted he avoids eye contact when talking to other people and is depicted as nervously pulling at his sleeves in official artwork, or how he says he finds his prison uniform (which has tight straps) 'relaxing' and when he gets nervous/tense, he will dig his fingernails into the palm of his hands. (These last two potential being examples of 'self stimulation' [aka stimming] where a person seeks out specific sensory stimuli in order to help regulate their nervous system/emotions, in this case the tight uniform creates a comforting, secure feeling [you may have heard about some people preferring to sleep under weighted blankets for this reason] and digging nails into his palms sounds uncomfortable/painful but is done in an attempt to deal with a greater sensory discomfort caused by the situation/environment) I also appreciate the depth he is written with, he struggles to communicate verbally but in his MV and interactions with other inmates is shown to have insecurities, opinions and a consistent thought process (this is all basic character stuff but unfortunately not always present in disabled characters)

Also I want to add that (in terms of what we've been shown so far) Haruka did not kill anyone because of his disability/mental illness. Disabled people are not inherently more innocent than abled people. But there is no disability/mental illness where a symptom is that you kill people and real people have to live with the stigma when you speak carelessly and suggest things like "Haruka is the kind of mentally ill person who kills people as a cry for help" 🧂 (or at the very least real people have to read BS like that and cringe). TL;DR Haruka is less child-like and more onion-like (as in, he has layers) 🧅🧅🧅

Now is the actual theory stuff, oops:

Every prisoner in MILGRAM is supposed to have committed murder in some way, obviously considering Yuno just had an abortion (which i personally do not consider an act of murder) whilst Mu literally stabbed someone to death, this definition is stretched a bit. But it is not agreed upon yet who Haruka killed/how many people he killed or why he killed.

In his MV he is shown to have chased after his dog into a forest, seen something off-screen, then beaten something into a messy pulp with a rock. Some people think the dog is a red herring and that Haruka actually killed his mother/the girl from the fireworks show/his brother. I do not agree.

First: I believe Haruka when he says he doesn't have a brother. The MV literally starts by Haruka looking in the mirror and then switching between the him now

and a really similar looking younger child who just so happened to be a key feature of his memories (I don't have the vocabulary to explain it but its like cinematic parallels that establish this is the same person at different points of their life)

Its not impossible that this is Haruka's secret younger brother, but i think its unlikely. I saw someone saying they had to be different people because Haruka looks less happy than the child but like, most 17 year olds are less visibly happy than when they were 7 (or however old the child is meant to be). Life happens.

So when Haruka is shown pushing the child around and eventually strangling him, this isn't meant to be literal (homicide or suicide), but a representation of how conflicted Haruka feels about his younger self, who may have committed the murder (if you've ever been kept awake cringing at memories of something you said in the past and wishing you could go slap some sense into your former self, this is like that but 10 times more self loathing). The lyric "I am always repeating yesterday," implies he might think about this specific past event a lot.

Moving on, its pretty well accepted that Haruka's parents were abusive in some way and Haruka internalised a lot of it: he constantly apologises, he says in his interrogation questions that his one wish come true is that "[he] want[s] to be loved" and describes in his MV how when he couldn't find the words he was looking for ("you're unfair") one of his parents "would get angry at me and say “You’re hopeless.”". He seems to know its unfair but also still says he 'loves' his family, possibly mistakenly believing it is his fault, but also showing an awareness of his situation (and how his parents might behave).

Now, the MV is stylised in a way that makes certain details unclear, but there is one clear detail showing that Haruka's dog was killed

This is the first close up of Haruka and the dog. Haruka's mother is just out of frame supervising, but they look pretty happy. Notice how the puppy has a silvery chain for a collar. Somehow, this dog gets out of the house but only Haruka is shown chasing after it (whether his mother was searching elsewhere or didn't bother following her disabled son into the forest is unclear). Either way, young Haruka is now in the forest, unsupervised.

By the time he finds the dog, there is already blood, suggesting it was initally attacked by something else.

is this a sigh of relief from a boy whose finally found his beloved pet or a jealous weakling glad that nature took its course and he is finally free of that meddling mutt stealing all his mummy's attention? /j

I think this shock at the discovery that 'there is blood on his hands' could imply that rather than literally getting the blood from his dog, Haruka has seen his already injured dog and realises that if the dog got out because of him (he is previously shown to be aware his parents seem to blame him for everything) then he is the reason his dog is injured/dying and will be blamed for it. (this scene plays over the lyrics "It’s fine, though it’s really not It’s really fine, though I don’t really think so When I tried to understand it, You’ll make that disappointed face again" suggesting he is trying to avoid making his parents disappointed and letting the family pet escape into danger is something that could make them very disappointed)

now we get into rock murder (this is present-day Haruka implying that this is either: not how the scene really played out; the writers really wanting the audience to know that this was Haruka's doing and not someone else's; or this turns into a separate incident that happened much later [although note that the red sky and blue moon is the same as when young Haruka first appears at the start])

b the corpse is beyond mangled now, but its clearly the dog because the silver chain collar is still there, to the right of the body. (circled in red for your convenience :3)

My hypothesis is: Haruka didn't set out to kill his dog, but upon finding it injured (we don't know the severity aside from bleeding and also it not being able to run away from Haruka kneeling down above it w/ a big rock so it could range from treatable with a lot of vet help to already on death's door, TBH I don't think Haruka would know the difference) He knew he'd be blamed for this; made into a villain who let the poor puppy come to harm. He panicked and killed the dog out of some idea that it would make him the victim here (since he'd be found crying over a dog corpse, which might make a parent go comfort him rather than getting angry about what could've happened to the dog). This is over the lyrics: "I cried, I screamed I wanted to be a pitied and loved weakling I was in denial, I was in denial I just had to make sure I’ve become a victim, I’ve become a victim" (there's another theory that he was also jealous of the dog, which could work here too, since this is not some calculated plot; rather its a rash decision) This ties in with his Japanese song title (translated as Weakness) which is a play on a phrase sort of like "The strong eat, the weak do not" to become "The weak are eaten by society" or "The weak eat each other to survive" [once again I am reminding everyone this is based on second hand information from the youtube comments section (from users mitchki and Alphaistic) because I do not speak Japanese] This second meaning (The weak eat each other to survive) makes sense under the reading that Haruka killed his dog in order to 'survive' making his parents disappointed for the dog escaping.

Miscellaneous points:

We don't know where Haruka's necklace came from yet, it must be a gift since the most expensive thing he's ever bought was cotton candy. The younger child in the video isn't wearing it and neither is his mother or the girl in the purple dress.

Haruka's home seems quite big, at the start we can see a large flower garden outside the window and there's a forest in walking distance. This might suggest his family is quite wealthy

Haruka probably did go to school at some point as homeschooling is not a legally accepted as an alternative to public schools in Japan. (However it is estimated that up to 5000 families homeschool, this is uncommon) A lot (about 62%) of Japanese schools apparently have a 'special needs' classes and there are about 505 schools focused on educating intellectually disabled students (although I do not know which sort Haruka would've needed as whilst intellectual and development disabilities can be comorbid they aren't the same). Now, if children aged 7-14 don't go to school, their parents receive a fine, but its possible that if Haruka's parents are wealthy, they just paid it to avoid sending him to school. (This might imply they wanted to hide him or were generally ashamed of him in some way) However high school education (for students over 14) is not legally required and its likely that even if Haruka went to elementary/middle school, he hasn't been around people his own age in at least 3 years. As he seems quite lonely and glad that the other prisoners give him attention.

I don't think Haruka's parents are divorced and if they are, its not his father who left. Haruka mentions in the 30 questions that he thinks he disappointed his father. But still includes him as part of his family ("My father and mother and me"). A theory I've seen is that his father was disappointed by his son being disabled and left. but developmental disabilities (especially in non verbal and semi verbal children like Haruka) can be diagnosed before the age of 3, so I feel it is unlikely that Haruka would bring up his father if he left that early in Haruka's life

All MILGRAM prisoners have covered one of DECO*27's older vocaloid songs (DECO*27 is a well known producer who composes the music for MILGRAM) Haruka covered 'Two Breaths Walking' (https://youtu.be/puXLfVWrz2Q) which is about a boy's first relationship and how his mother's jealousy set him up for failure as the relationship becomes toxic (specifically it has some very funny out of context lines like "Whose breasts are you sucking on now?") so yeah, mommy issues: the song (Also: some people say in the song, the boy kills the girl at the end, but this isn't literal, TBW is the first of a trilogy of songs about the same relationship, it is followed by Android girl then Two Breaths Walking: Reloaded and the story resolves with the couple reuniting as adults and getting in the relationship again, although its not necessarily as abusive as before, its still implied to be codependant ending on the line 'We should live like oxygen tanks, sucking breathe from the words each of us exhale, until our last breathe')

In all seriousness, the scene where younger Haruka is walking through the city with his mother but it keeps repeating until older Haruka pulls the younger one away might indicate an attempt to focus the happier memories of his parents (since this is also over the lyrics "Why is it breaking? Tell me why? Please don’t change If I tried and couldn’t say it, You would get angry at me and say “You’re hopeless.”" which depict a worse scene) I think both his parents are still physically present but have become far more emotionally distant, not giving him as much attention, which exacerbates his loneliness from not having any friends his own age to talk to

And if one of his parents did leave? I think its likely his mother since she is shown disappearing out of his reach after the dog-incident (inferring she got angry/disappointed in Haruka anyway) This could also be where he got his necklace from: Its something his mother used to wear (although this is 100% a guess) and that's why its shown to be important to him

This one is just me, but i didn't realise until a rewatch that when Haruka is watching the younger him and the girl running together, the background has fireworks. Haruka mentions fireworks being a key memory to him so I wonder if this was one of the first/last times he got to make a friend...

On three separate occasions in the interrogation, Haruka mentions not liking animals. Despite this, he is depicted as sleeping with a rabbit plush and on his birthday art (I'd include that too but tumblr only allows 10 pictures per post, so here's a link) he is standing next to a giant blueberry and strawberry cake with two bunny themed biscuits at the side. Through my experiences of seeing Japanese fandom art on pixiv, sometimes rabbits are used to insinuate a character is cute and timid in fanart.

Meaningless details: Haruka sleeps with his necklace on; he sleeps on a bed and not a futon; at first I thought he woke up holding his plush's hand but his hand is merely next to the toy; and considering the state of the pillow and blanket, I wonder if he moves a lot in his sleep or if the is just because in this case he seems to be waking up from a nightmare about the dog incident...

Final note: I've spent so many hours writing this I don't remember if i was building up to any big finale or not but I hope you enjoyed reading this! Feel free to add on in the comments/reblogs.

#haruka sakurai #milgram #milgram theory #001 #text post #essay #long post

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