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eunjidrabbles · 3 years

Note

YAYYYY your asks are finally open!!! hi hi im the anon may i ask for a hwasa one shot wherein reader is courting hwasa but hwasa doesn't find fem! reader attractive. after one date, hwasa decides that reader isnt really her type which r is bummed about but respects her decision. however, one day hwasa finds r's genuine character and somehow, she falls for r's charms uwu angst to big big fluff please! sorry this is long :3 i really like tropes like this thank youuu!

Just One

(I realized writing hurt/comfort stuff soothes my soul a lot. Probably because I like making it hurt and then I feel bad and try to make it warm and fluffy so no worries. Longer requests help me with plotting out the story.

Edit: Sorry this took longer than expected, I just started my first day of work again and guess who is now a barista? Also Wheein’s solo album just dropped today so go give it a listen ya’ll)

Word count: About 2.4k

Ahn Hye Jin is a goddess. Everyone who has seen her either loves her, or hate her because they want to be her. With beauty, fame and charisma that goes off the charts, who could blame when you were to be drawn in like a moth to the light? Of course given the opportunity, you chose to chase after her disregarding the fact there were probably many others like you. It was a chance given, and it would be foolish not to grab at it. Be it getting your manager to buy her favorite drinks so you can drop it off for her whenever she was at the company practicing, leaving little notes with a container of food for her to heat up when she stays back for more practicing on her own or even occasionally popping by the studio when you had some free time off your schedules, you did you best to let your presence be known to her. Management didn't know of your crush, brushing it off as admiration for your senior whose group literally built up the company, and you'd prefer for it to stay that way lest you get kicked out barely a year into debuting. Hyejin however, knew of your intentions. You've made it clear to her when you gathered up the courage to manage to stammer out a "I like you." Before you could hear whoops from Wheein and feel the stares coming from the other two older members directed at you.

Over time, you've managed to also worm your way into the rest's hearts as they realized how pure your intentions were, and how far you'd go to try take care of their strong-headed maknae. Seeing as to how Hyejin has never properly rejected you, they slowly started putting in words for you whenever they spot your gifts for her, planting what they'd hope to be the seeds that will help make their youngest happier. It started from "Look at how thoughtful she is!" To “Hey look, guess who dropped by again today~?” Each time, she would only smile and wave away at her member’s teasing as she accept her gifts with a smile.

The small interactions with Hyejin and the rest of her members were great as you slowly got to know them more, just as friends. Sharing jokes and they would sometimes even invite you up for a meal together. It wasn’t until a few weeks later of skirting around your very obvious infatuation with Hyejin did you actually put up your mind to do something. Nodding to yourself, you gathered up the courage and knocked on the door. Cheers were heard from inside and as routine, Hyejin came to the door to open it for you. Passing over her drink with a smile, she stood waiting accepted it with a small chuckle and thanks. Right before she turned away, you called out to her. Looking back at you questioningly, you took a few deep breath to try settle your pounding heart. “One date. Just give me one date. I’ll show you that I’m serious.” You could see her eyes widen in surprise and slowly cover her mouth with her hand. You shift nervously, not daring to break the eye contact. She was the one who looked away first and her gaze fell to the ground, seemingly deep in thought. Noticing the longer than usual interaction, the rest of the members curiously peeked over one another to observe the situation. Putting the pieces together, Wheein shared glances with the older members and back to her best friend and voiced out her thoughts. “Why don’t you give it a shot?” Slowly looking over to her, Hyejin studied her expression, followed by the encouraging looks Moonbyul and Yongsun was giving before going back to her own thoughts for a bit longer. All the while you stood, head slowly lowering, feeling your throat and chest slowly coiling and tightening on themselves while you prepare yourself for the rejection incoming. “So what do you have in mind?” Snapping your head up, you find her staring right at you. You could almost hear your own heartbeat as you let out a breath you didn’t even notice you were holding. Glancing past her, you see the enthusiastic nodding and thumbs up given to you by the rest of her members and you pulled out your phone. “I’ll text you the details?”

As far as records go, the company only saw this meet up as a nice meal between a member of their top girl group and their solo artist. You’ve managed to book a small table at a café that you were introduced by a few friends. It was a cozy little place near an alleyway, just a little out of the way of where the crowd would usually go. Settling down in the corner, you were both handed a small menu. Skimming over, you decided to place an order of a cup of coffee and a macaron for a sweet treat. Hyejin took a little longer to look through the menu but also ended up with just a cup of coffee. There was an awkward tension in the air as you constantly try to find topics to speak about to engage the woman sitting opposite of you when all you could get in reply was a few words in reply. With a smile, you could only nod and let the silence blanket the both of you as your drinks and snack came. Every time you looked up from sipping your drink, you could see her silently in her own thoughts and decided not to bother her lest she finds you annoying. It was when you were on the last few sips of your drinks did Hyejin finally speak up.

“I don’t want to be harsh but I don’t think we’d go well together.”

The words echoed in your head as they processed into what she was trying to say. You swallowed down the harsh reality that hit you right in your chest and nodded with a small understanding smile. “Thank you for at least giving me a chance, and of course, being honest with me.” Nodding back, Hyejin went back to sipping her drink as the silence once again settled between the both of you, this time for you to quietly nurse your heart. Setting down the empty cups, the both of your stood as you pulled out your phone and texted your manager to pick the both of you up. While waiting outside the café, Hyejin couldn’t bring herself to look at you. A part of her felt that she had led you on, despite it just being that she couldn’t understand of her own feelings. To make everything simpler for everyone, the best choice would be to reject and ignore it. A hand coming towards her in the corner of her eye surprised her, and with that she finally look at you again. “Friends?” Raising your eyebrow, you silently prayed that whatever happened wouldn’t ruin whatever relationship you had between her and her members. “Friends.” Raising her hand to shake yours, a smile bloomed across her face in relief that you held no anger towards her.

You understood that it will definitely take time to get over the fact that you had a crush on Hyejin, so you chose not to avoid it. Instead, you faced the rejection straight on, and went up to Mamamoo’s studio even more often to interact more with everyone whenever you had the time. Every now and again, you’d also have a member or two pop up in your studio to join in the chaos, much so adding up to your manager’s headache of trying to keep your appearance as an idol intact, knowing well fully that the random moments you shared with the group would most likely air out as update episodes in your mini vlog series. It took a while to realize that by taking a step back from pursuing Hyejin, that you got so much more closer to her. The awkwardness melted away and what was left was a healthy friendship.

It also took a while for Hyejin to realized how much more she had been looking to spend time with you. Or that the increasing number of comments in your vlog series were commenting on how much and fondly she looked at you. It became almost a daily thing to exchange greetings from dawn and annoy one another through text till dusk fell. It got to the point where whenever her phone’s notification rang, does she perk up and rush to it and if it was not a reply from you, she would falter and according to Wheein, “Look like a kicked puppy.” If you had a schedule when she was free, she sometimes tag along with an excuse to keep you company but if you could see her behind all the staff, you’d notice her intense gaze as she studies you. The way you moved, the way you laughed, and even to the way your chest rise and fall as you breathed. Part of her knew what was happening, but she refused to act upon it. It wasn’t fair that you were the one who risked your career to chase her only for her to reject you, and now suddenly changing her mind. You on the other hand didn’t seem to notice all the extra attention you were getting from her and it annoyed Hyejin to a certain extend. She wanted the smiles you gave to everyone directed to only her. She wanted the jokes you shared and the laughter you gave to just be shared between you two.

It drove her crazy, the more she explored her feelings for you. It made her feel things that scared her. Scenarios would appear in her head as she watches you interact with others. Your words would race through her mind as she goes about her day. Images and memories of your gifts and notes pulled on her heartstrings. Maybe. Hyejin silently thinks to herself. Just maybe, I might be crazy. Chuckling to herself as she stopped in front of a set of doors, she sighed. That’s still better than letting someone else hold you, right? Looking up at the sign that stated the opening hours, she pulled out her phone to do a quick check of the time and pushed open to step through the set of doors.

The bass vibrated throughout the entire room as music boomed from the speakers in the practice room. Your eyes were trained upon your form as you connected each movement of your body to flow with the beat of the music. Seeing how focused you were on perfecting the dance routine, your manager could only sigh in failed attempt of trying to make you promise to not overwork yourself when your comeback was right around the corner before leaving for the night. At some point through the evening, you had shed your hoodie, leaving you in a cooling sports bra and sweat pants. Despite the lesser layers, you were drenched in sweat, and your hair had fallen from their ponytail, leaving them sticking uncomfortably to your face and body. Your body cried out in exhaustion as you slowed to a halt along with the music and panted to catch your breath. Slowly pushing yourself upright again, you groaned, body resisting the idea of one last run through of the routine. Right as you were about to hit the play button on your phone again, the soundproofed door of your studio swung open.

Your squeak echoed the room and your eyes darted up and widened in surprise to meet hers through the mirror’s reflection. It took a second for your body and brain to relax when you realized that the intruder meant no harm when you noticed both her hands were occupied. Slowly turning and walking over to the back of the studio where she had moved from the door, you look at Hyejin questioningly before your gaze dropped to the contents in her hands. Instead of putting it down onto the table, she waited for you to walk over to her to pass you the warm cup of coffee and a paper bag. Carefully hold the cup in one hand, you opened the bag to see a lone macaron sitting inside. A wide smile bloomed on your face when your body understood that the sweet treat was a form of energy for you to function and you eagerly pushed it up the bag to take the first bite. You then remembered the very person that delivered it to you and with your mouth full, you could only smile even wider to her as you closed your eyes in bliss as the sugary snack awoke your senses again.

“One date.”

Your eyes snap open as your jaw stopped its movement.

“One date. Just give me one date. I’ll show you I’m worth your time.”

Your smile slowly dropped as you processed what you just heard. Looking back down at the bag and the cup of drink, you recognized the name imprinted on its sides. It was from the very café you two went to on your first and last date. Forcing yourself to look busy by continuing to slowly chewing the one bite in your mouth, you subtly turned your head towards the mirror to look at the woman, not daring to risk eye contact by looking directly at her. Even from the mirror, you could see her intense gaze, as she fidgeted her hands behind her, anxiously waiting for your answer.

“So? What do you say?”

Swallowing the now mushy mess in your mouth, you slowly looked right back at her. Lifting the drink to your lips and taking a small sip, you looked for traces of this encounter merely being a bad joke of the rejection you faced at her hand a few months ago. When you could find none, you slowly lowered the drink and sighed. Even at such mundane actions, you could see her tense up in anticipation.

You chuckle suddenly, breaking the silence and causing Hyejin to flinch. That in return made you chuckle even harder when her look of confusion and surprise slowly melt away as your laughter went on. Finally taking a breath to stop, you smiled and answered her.

“I was hoping it will be more than just one.”

#mamamoo imagines #hwasa imagines #hwasa x reader #I highkey give up on tagging properly #just look at my masterlist #hope yall enjoy

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bossbex · 4 years

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5x06 Reaction

JARCHIE!!! I missed their interactions so much... like honestly in S4 they barely spoke. I’m loving the “roommates” dynamic.

Ok the kevin/fangs/toni apartment(?) is... amazing!!

I love how they hired actual teenagers (or close to it) to play the high school kids... since all the “teachers” were playing high school students, what, 3 episodes ago??

Ok mechanic Betty is SO HOT

DORITOS I AM CRYING AT THIS PRODUCT PLACEMENT

Veronica’s taking over the Blue Velvet!!! Why not reuse that set lmao

Thoughts on this initial barchie interaction:

I’ve seen all the discourse about it seeming like Archie doesn’t care about Betty’s problems, or not taking them seriously, and people comparing Archie’s “oof - that sucks” to jughead’s “white noise” speech in 1x08 (which I thought was cringy AF and I even liked b*ghead at the time) and here’s what I’ll say:

His “oof - that sucks” comment as MATCHING Betty’s tone - she says it kind of matter of factly and with a bit of an eyeroll, she does NOT seem very upset about it, and she is a grown ass adult who DOESN’T need Archie’s condolences in that moment - and Archie knows that.

She then brings up Polly, and Archie ASKS A FOLLOW UP QUESTION: “didn’t your mom say she does this? Takes off for a couple of days” which shows that he is referring to a previous conversation about this - they’ve BEEN talking about it and he DOES care (not to mention they showed that he had texted her about Polly at the end of the last episode)

She says she’s trying not to panic - because she knows this is something Polly does and may not actually be in danger - SO HE OFFERS A DISTRACTION during a time when she is basically asking for one, and then SHE COMES UP WITH THE IDEA OF WHERE TO GO HAVE SEX

Anyway I have argued with enough people on twitter about this lol.. I feel strongly. Also, this scene was super cute and both Archie and Betty look so good in it.

I love Tabitha. Smart, enterprising, witty... I’m all for the Jugitha pairing. (seriously though, is a ship name decided for them? I’ve seen Tabhead and Jabitha as well, lol.

Uhhhhh ok this car sex scene? It somehow feels even more explicit than the shower scene?? The moaning and breathing?? HOW DARE THESE STONEWALL KIDS INTERRUPT THIS

LMAO NIGHT JOGGING

Is it just me or is Sheriff Keller looking really hot? Silver fox??

I have to note that Archie’s hair colour looks SO BAD in this whole episode but especially this football scene with the Reggie confrontation. It’s like, almost burgundy? But somehow bright orange at the same time? I hate it.

Ok Cole is absolutely nailing this “down on his luck, beaten down” adult Jughead. His character is funny all the sudden?? I love that he kept the money in the tip jar like OF COURSE

Ok Chad coming into Veronica’s class HE’S THE WORST!!! And then SITTING AT THE BACK I HATE HIM SO MUCH FOR THIS

Alright, now we have another scene that has people talking, which is where Archie meets Chad. My thoughts:

Archie clearly sizes up Chad. I mean, he dated Veronica for 3-ish years (in the show’s timeline) so yeah, it’s normal to meet your ex’s new partner and size them up. It read more like “he thinks Chads a douche” as opposed to “he’s jealous of Chad because he wants to be with V”.

They show makes a point of showing Betty’s reaction to them meeting. THIS SHOT IS NOT RANDOM. Yes, I’m sure the show will go there, she’ll get jealous of V at some point. Betty thinking that Archie is jealous of Chad is not the same as Archie actually being jealous of Chad.

I kind of loved how Chad just jumps in here to join in the karaoke night - he didn’t redeem himself from the previous scene where he SAT IN THE BACK OF HER CLASS WHILE SHE WORKED but I like how they’re not playing him completely evil

Next scene: BETTY AND TONI ARE TALKING!!! I REPEAT!!! BETTY AND TONI ARE TALKING!!! Seriously, it’s so refreshing that they’re actually letting all kinds of new dynamics and character interactions happen this season.

Also, NEDSLIST!!!! THIS SHOW!!!!

I am living for Cheryl being completely beautiful whilst yelling at construction workers.

So like... she actually doesn’t have that much money. She couldn’t really afford the donation for the school... I kind of wish that once she says “I can’t afford it” people would like, not keep pushing? I’m looking at you Toni, whom I absolutely adore, I just wish the writers didn’t make it like Cheryl’s being squeezed dry. I get that it’s needed for plot purposes but I don’t love it.

Kevin and Betty are friends again!!! Love it!!!

Karaoke night thoughts:

At no point is Jughead hanging out or interacting with the rest of the group. He stays separate from them - with Tabitha, which I appreciate, but I am just noting this because I’m sure it was done purposefully.

“She probably forgot it’s Gekko now” uhhhh didn’t Toni announce V as “Veronica Gekko” in the last episode?? LOL THE SHADE

I love Veronica’s voice

Ok so Chad actually comes off so great in this scene?? I guess this is part of his manipulation - come off as such a great guy in front of all her friends to get them to like him?

Jughead’s reaction to the duet is so me every time I’ve watched people do karaoke lmao

During the “or do you need more? Is there something else you’re searching for” they cut to Archie’s and Betty’s reaction. Archie is not thinking about V in that moment.

I am not seeing one iota of jealousy from Archie. He looks genuinely happy for them.

This Chad and Veronica bed scene makes me uncomfortable. But I’m glad they’re showing their softer moments!

The Archie/football recruitment sequence... Chad in the back of Veronica’s classroom again??? HOW IS THIS HAPPENING I HATE THIS!! Also, this is another scene where Chad looks jealous of Archie... not the other way around.

Britta!!! I love her. And I feel like the writers inserted her in specifically for Britta Lundin, former Riverdale writer and acclaimed author (read her book Ship It, seriously, it’s so good), and I love that. BUT THE WAY ARCHIE LOOKS AT BETTY IN THIS SCENE IS THAT EVEN LEGAL

We get the first glimpse Toni’s “Operation Bring Cheryl Out Of Hiding” plan here, when Archie asks her for funding for the football team and says its earmarked for something else (hmmmmmmm... this plan has been in the works for a while... and I’m here for it)

Ok. This scene where Archie goes to ask Cheryl for money is... a mess. My first reaction is that it was so OOC for Archie to bring up Jason in that way. Then I got to thinking... Archie probably would want to honour his dad in that way and was genuinely suggesting that as something that might actually be helpful to her, as opposed to purposely trying to manipulate her. He knows what it’s like to lose a family member, he just didn’t realize that Cheryl doesn’t grieve in the same way. The boy doesn’t have a malicious bone in his body. Anyway, now he’s been banished from Thornhill! But don’t we see him (and everyone) there in a bts photo from possibly 5x08? Isn’t that at Thornhill? Will this be addressed or will the writers just forget it ever happened?

I love Betty and Kevin investigating together. It’s so refreshing.

Ok this place Jughead is going to is legit the creepiest shit I’ve ever seen. I am having trouble making myself care about this “Mothmen” plot??

Betty’s “Straight to the Point” interrogation style is actually effective in this truck stop stakeout scene.

Alice again with her wine... I wonder if there will actually be an “Alice is an alcoholic” storyline or is the wine just part of her personality now?

Ok like it’s so inappropriate for a teacher to be wearing an HBIC shirt BUT I AM HERE FOR THIS DRAMATIC VIXENS HALLWAY WALK!! And Toni is correct, Cheer is a sport so sit down, Archie. Notably Toni adds in “not even Cheryl managed to do that” - I’m thinking she new Ms. Bell would be eavesdropping ;)

WHY IS THIS PORTAIT OF JASON WORTH SO MUCH??

Is this Minerva character going to be important?? I keep seeing people talking about how she and Cheryl are going to hook up but is that just because she’s a female character who interacts with Cheryl? I’m not seeing it yet but hey, it’s Riverdale.

JUGHEAD BRINGING UP THE EPIC HIGHS AND LOWS OF HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL I SCREAMED

Seriously though, since we know Jughead wasn’t there when Archie said that, there’s two options: Either Archie told him he said it, or (my preferable theory) Archie used to just SAY THAT REGULARLY and has said it in front of Jug lmao.

Chad again seems legit supportive when she tells him about her jewelry store plan?? THEY’RE SO UP AND DOWN!!!

Ok, so Betty is an FBI agent (trainee, whatever) and she JUST NOW THOUGHT OF TRACING POLLY’S CELL PHONE

This scene... when Veronica finds out Chad has been talking to Hiram behind her back... this is where she decides she’s done with Chad.

Another scene with Archie - I am still getting zero vibes that he’s into Veronica? And zero vibes that Veronica’s into Archie? It makes complete sense that Veronica would want to help the bulldogs. Chad is a total dick here and is definitely threatened by Archie... again, not the other way around. Side note: Chad, if threatened by Archie, is a TOTAL IDIOT for suggesting Archie renovates the Pembrooke - like, he’s going to be working? All the time? Where Veronica is staying? And probably taking his shirt off because he’s sweaty from all the working?? WHYYYYY WOULD CHAD ENCOURAGE THIS

This little flirty scene between Jughead and Tabitha (and it’s the first that I would say has any flirty undertones whatsoever) is pretty cute.

THIS BARCHIE PORCH SCENE I HAVE THOUGHTS

The fact that people are suggesting Betty showed up there because she wanted to talk to Jughead is SENDINNNNGGGGGG

Let’s be clear, she only asked about Jughead so she could make sure he wasn’t home so that she could bone Archie. There is no other interpretation for this.

THIS IS THE BEST BARCHIE KISS TO DATE

They are playing the song from the porch scene in the pilot... DON’T TELL ME BARCHIE IS MEANINGLESS WHEN THEY ARE USING THIS SONG

I think the fact that this is the first time they had sex and we didn’t see it is meaningful - they are showing that the relationship is deepening and they are more than “just sex”

As Betty leaves, Archie looks like he wants to reach out for her and then stops himself - he is definitely falling hard and he’s afraid Betty isn’t feeling the same way

Ok, Cheryl is straight up wearing lingerie in Toni’s office!!! And the red lipstick is back - notably, throughout the entire show, she has worn the red lipstick as a kind of shield - she never has it for her “vulnerable” scenes. Seems like that is still happening. AND this is where we see Boss Toni’s plan come into fruition - she started up the vixens and MADE SURE CHERYL FOUND OUT ABOUT IT because she knew that was the one thing that would make Cheryl come out of her Thornhill hiding spot. Well played, Toni.

Archie and Veronica announcing the bulldog funding... again, I’m not seeing ANY “romantic/attraction” vibes here? He does react when she says her last name is Lodge again but like, anyone would?

MS. BELL YOU GOSSIP I’M OK WITH YOU REPORTING TO CHERYL BUT I DRAW THE LINE AT HIRAM

Is Reggie... filing his nails? Lmao

I really hope Polly isn’t dead?? Like I very much want a Polly redemption story!!

Sooooo I guess Archie and Jughead are both going to die in this fire? Lol... well... they’re main characters so I’m sure they’re good.

I’m doooone for this week! So far really enjoying the timejump? Obviously because of barchie but also, everyone is just - better.

Well this turned out to be a novel. If you made it this far, thanks for reading :)

#riverdale #barchie #riverdale thoughts #riverdale 5x06 #5x06 #riverdale season 5

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weirdo-with-a-nametag · 3 years

Text

Brain is tv static with random frames interspersed

Think I'm like. Really stressed and jumping between topics to try and find something that helps / feels good

Topics:

Anyone know a good health tracking app for adhd people? I want one that like pops up when you open your phone, maybe? But is unobtrusive. Like maybe you just rate your mood or whatever when you open your phone, and it closes, and you go about your business. I just hate every app and paper method I've tried but really want to track some stuff

Pigeon. ? Pigeon as pet?

Service animals re: cats, pigeons, my cat specifically, and then also ESAs and also what to use as treats while training my cat (he's pretty happy to learn behaviors with praise and pets as reinforcement, but treats would make everything move much faster, but I haven't found something I want to give him so we've just been y'know. Chillin)

Service animals re: what tasks can my pet potentially do that would help me? I don't really know a lot about service animals and there is a Huge range. If anyone has suggestions, or places to read about it, I'd appreciate it! Mostly thinking they may help with anxiety, sensory, and mobility/fatigue related stuff. Not much of a need for medical alerts.

Bioactive enclosures for my snakes, need to research their biomes and make progress on designs and equipment specifications

Also. Hit a seriously hard patch and haven't been handling them much at all this month so that's not great

Casting stuff. Saw jewelry today made of metal casts of claws, skulls, etc, and they were really well done and made me want to do that

Some taxidermy / vulture culture stuff I won't get into right now

Puzzles????

How to organize my room

Need a shower

Need to organize bathroom

So Much Schoolwork

Uhhhhh trying, but not making much headway, to figure out how I want to do my music collection. Also really need to clean my records..

Make?

Food??? Ew.

Dental hygiene ://

Plampts. So many. Houseplants need maintenance, many need repotting. Keep taking in people's problem plants and like, they're doing better, largely, after being trimmed and watered and whatnot, but need repotting. Also need to trim some aquarium plants.

Also need to put water in tanks. And spray nepenthes.

Laundry.

Gotta pick up trash in my room. There's so much. Everywhere. Why.

Schoolwork. I'm so behind. So, so stuck. Kind of feel like I'm dying.

Going on a picnic tomorrow. Have to figure out what still needs doing for that, probably need to go to the store.

Leo needs water. I'm so....ugh, I'm trying so hard, but it feels impossible. I do my best to take good care of my pets, and I think they live pretty good lives most of the time, but sometimes I get like This and completely drop off the face of the earth and then like, wake up or whatever and two weeks have passed by and I have not cleaned a water bowl! That's a serious problem!!!! I do not know how to combat that, really, besides more reminders. Having someone around who is willing to like, help, when things are especially hard, would be great, but I don't live with my partner right now and do not feel like I can ask anyone here for that. But I can't put my animals at risk. I check on them every day, and if their bowls are dirty I do take them out and clean them, but sometimes (like now) i cannot get myself to do it without a pressure like a dirty bowl, or a feeding day. And like, it's really important that they have clean water. I'm talking to myself here but like, if anyone has advice. Please. With the tank redesigns and upgrades, the bowls will be more accessible, which will help because one of them is very heavy at the angle I have to pick it up, and another requires moving a lot of branches and is best to take out while the snake is out (this is Leo) which is fine because I love my boy, but adds time to the process, and makes it harder to start, you know? Maybe if I just got more bowls - I could take the bowl out and immediately replace it, fill the new one, and replace the decor and snake, and then clean the bowl as a separate task? That would be easier for my brain. Currently I have a Specific bowl I prefer to use for each tank, and then everything else is Just In Case, but I mean. Acquiring extras is something I want to do anyway, and it may help with several problems, so. Yeah. I'll try that. But also, any other ideas, guys?

Anxiety: can't stop picking at my face, skin, nails, cuticles, scalp, pretty much everywhere with callouses, also scratched a mole off my face, which is something I've been trying Not to do for a while, so that's...not great. Can't find my earmuffs, and also all of my headphones are painful? Ears are really sensitive lately.

Been playing a lot of Moth Game (flutter: starlight if you wanna be friends say hey I don't know how to do it but would enjoy talking about moths if nothing else. The game is just like, an idle ish collecting game with cutesy versions of different species, and very little actual information, but it's still fun, and if anyone else is on there and also Into Moths like I am, hiiiii) and like it's fun and cute but also greatly impacting my productivity, and raises my stress levels during events, which is most days, so the game has. Not been helping. But I can't stop because then I'll miss Exclusive Moths.

Anyway. Had baklava and two mugs of Thai tea today and the sugar has made me nauseous.

Trying to journal. Hurts to write. Also takes too long. Also my handwriting is very bad. But typing is..not as good

Want to draw. Thinking about drawing cats

Plants again! Want to make seed bombs, have seeds, have most of the other ingredients, just need to put em together, basically.

Really sad :(

Or am I?

Weird noise coming from dining room?

Birds. Spent half an hour at least on the deck tonight listening to a hundred different bird calls (literally) to identify one I was hearing, it was a pine siskin, which I checked early on but the recording was bad and I didn't realize which call was identified. Anyway, cool to put a name to a face, so to speak.

Need to practice for ASL

So much.....to do...

Only had like >3 hours of work this week which was not great because money, but also like I'm really feeling those 3 hours....

My cat is basically refusing to come into my room? Which is very strange and I'm worried something is Off but cannot figure out what. Also means less cuddles which means I'm sad.

It feels strange whenever people follow me, the attention is nice but I have no idea what content y'all are here for. So to everyone: hi, enjoy, hope my random personal posts aren't a surprise to anyone who followed for like. News reblogs and informational stuff.

Do I even have it in me to..be successful in school? Should I drop out of college? I'm struggling really hard and do not feel like I'm building on the skills I need to continue, so like. Uh.

My dad is being. Abrasive.

Mom and grandma are very angry lately

Housemate is also angry, about things i thought we were on good terms about, so I am stressed because like,, are we okay?

Can't find my eye mask :(

Yoga? Like...restorative yoga? Need to track down my PT stuff. And. Do it.

Need to put the stickers on my license plates....oops...

Still haven't found my antidepressants! Yay!

Do I want to store my stuff in open bins, or with lids? Which stuff needs spill protection and stacking capability and which stuff needs easy access?

How to earn money without..chaos

Gotta go to the pet store tomorrow. Have to compile my list of pet store items i need. Uhhhhhhhhhh

Also I have an essay due tomorrow that I've barely started. So. Wooooooo

Kt tape for supporting arches / inner ankles? I keep messing up my ankles, and part of it is walking wrong because I don't have the energy to engage the muscles in my feet/legs right to like, avoid injury, and part of it is I just need new shoes inserts. But i wear slippers a lot and they do not have arch support and it hurts. PT to help with this also but Where Is It

Family can't seem to get dish soap I can use, so I've just been having to avoid washing anything by hand, or being in the general kitchen area while anyone uses the stuff, which has led to more of my dishes sitting out, and more conflict over dishes. Lovely.

How hard is it for parents to learn they have to respect boundaries? Very hard, apparently. And you're supposed to just sort of remind people, and explain, over and over and over but like at this point my self worth is actually pretty good and the lifetime of proof that they do not want to listen? That's making me want to stop trying. Like, if you're not going to respect my boundaries I'm just not going to involve you in my life. I'm not talking to my dad right now because of this. Maybe I'll decide to lay things out to him, again and again and again again, maybe not. And I'm comfortable saying that's on him.

How to drink water

Am I dehydrated or are my hands just completely callous now. My fingertips have such hard skin. Why? It's uncomfortable. This is part of why I've been biting them.

Also testosterone. Been having a lot of trouble doing my shots, because anxiety and physical freakouts, but also not feeling super urgent about it. Which I'm realizing may be a sign i need to look at the effects so far and the possible effects of continuing, and see what they make me feel. It's possible I'm where I want to be as far as T, and don't really want to stay on it. A big thing for me is a deeper voice, so it seems time to take a look at whether I like my voice where it is or want to see if it'll drop any more. Etc etc

Miss my lil sisters

Saw a lot of cool rocks today. Huge (like hand sized) ammonite for $28. May go back and buy one because. Wow.

Want to plant food plants

Also my natives. Whole garden plot standing empty with a bunch of stuff waiting in nursery pots, needing to go in the ground. Because I can't get out of bed. Love that. Stuff is dying out there, I'm dying in here, there's a poetry to it and I do not want to romanticize suffering so I will say this: I brought a Bucket full of moss home a month ago and planted it and now go outside sometimes to drench my moss and it is very rewarding because the stuff is just so green. Incredible. When the rest of my plants are finally in the ground, that feeling will only intensify. But, for now, the moss is very nice.

Made a glow in the dark bead lizard from memory during therapy yesterday, and I love him. Also, still struggling with bringing up autism and psychosis topics with my therapist. Still very worried about. Things. Would like to get a new person? But sometimes she is helpful? And we have a routine. It's very hard to break the routine. Maybe I can set some time aside during the summer, to figure out what to do there.

Term ends in a couple weeks. The task of catching up, of passing, seems impossible. I really need to pass my courses. I'm on academic warning, because my GPA is lower than it should be, and if I can pass all of my classes this term I can get off academic warning but otherwise I'm not sure what will happen to my financial aid.

My phone is playing the same 50-100 songs on shuffle and I don't even particularly like most of them and it is very strange

Got my face wipes! Hooray, i can wash my face again

Been eating too much sugar in general. It's making my joints hurt more, and the nausea

Pet a dog the other day. I miss that. It would be really nice to have a dog in the house again. The exuberance, the cuddles, the tail wagging, the walks... I'd really like that. Maybe once I'm out in my room, tanks and catio built and everyone is situated, I'll look into getting a dog instead of a cat next. Was planning on holding off in case I'm not physically able to take them out on walks and such, but I've been pretty successful at doing this job, and I think that my main hurdle for walking really is motivation. Dog walking is a strong motivator for me. Best to start by fostering, or just do Wag, for a while though. I'm feeling overwhelmed with my current responsibilities, and here I am talking about getting a dog. Good job, me

How do you get wax off of somewhat water soluble rocks? My housemate broke my lava lamp on some of my rock collection and I am not sure how to get some of them clean without damage.

I am...pretty sure there are collared doves nesting over my room but it seems they're less common around here than I thought? But they are..pretty distinctive. Like if I'm wrong, what are those birds. Some very distinctly colored feral pigeons? Who are nesting here, in a tree, without their flock, and who happen to have pretty much the exact same pattern?

Probably should go to the dollar store and get some bins for organizing

Been wanting to keep a bin by the door and stock it with stim/fidget stuff people can just .have ..like extras of some of my favorites and other things i can get ahold of, to offer to my friends who haven't really had the chance to explore the world of stim toys

Hands are really just not doing great the last several weeks. Arthritis type pain cropping up more and more in all the little joints, making it hurt more to write, type, or just use them for whatever. Coordination isn't great because of that distraction, and because my hands/arms are slow to respond and kinda weak. Most people would say I'm not using them enough but I've been doing 15ish hours of manual labor per week, so maybe it's the other direction? More water would help. If only it wasn't so heavy.

I haven't taken a single shower since I started my job. Which was March 29th. That's not great.

Practiced parallel parking today. 10/10 still very bad at it.

Having anxiety that my friends think I'm lying about things, faking, and are watching me to see if I'll slip up. So that sucks. Can either talk about that directly or indirectly, or just shut up about those things until I can get my brain under control again. I'm not sure right now if the reassurance would work as a reality check or make me believe it more, right now, so might hold off on the talking bit for a little while.

Saw, smelled, picked a couple pretty roses. Good times

At this point I'm just trying to list all my thoughts so that maybe I'll be able to sleep and not worry I'll forget

My mom has put her spider plant on the deck, and it has maybe five living leaves. I have no idea how she killed such a well established spider plant, the last time I saw it it was so happy. Did she stick it in a corner and forget to water it? Whatever happened, it is now in the Plant ER, so hopefully I'll be able to...help get it on the up and up again

Leo is such a pretty noodle. He's so pretty. He's posing. Hi, baby boy.

Oh, he saw me moving around and decided to come say hi. Sorry little man, i did not mean to disturb you. Please resume lounging. I can't bring you out right now, I'm trying to sleep.

Also, terrariums. Water features. Need to ask. Someone. The one who was making that super cool garter snake enclosure and blogging the progress? With the lazy river and pool? About maintenance on that kind of setup. My milk snake really enjoys water, and I'd love to put a water feature in his tank. But I'm unclear on how to keep it clean, or honestly where to start. Don't want any huge falls or anything, though it actually may not make the humidity too high if I did maybe a small drip wall into the pool? That seems like something he would enjoy, and a good way to support different types of plants. But like, that's the thing, it's bioactive and I haven't done that before and no amount of research is ever enough.

Oh, Shogun has a dirt hat. How cute. I love when they do that

See, this is the thing. My snakes make me so happy. All three of them are actually hanging out where I can see them from my bed right now, and it's really nice. I want their lives to be the best possible, and I think I have the resources to do that. Which is so exciting. Now if only my brain and body would cooperate. It would hurt quite a lot to have to re-home any of them, but the most important thing is their health and quality of life, you know? If I can't get my act together somewhat, it may be that one or all of them would be better off with another keeper. I don't know. It's just, i talk about all these tank ideas and all this husbandry standards stuff but how much of it actually gets applied to my own animals whose lives are in my hands? How well am I caring for them, really?

Oh!!! My red thread! I thought that was gone forever.

Anyway, please do not worry. My snakes are healthy. I pay attention, and watch for signs of illness, and they're okay. There will always be places to improve, and the water is a big one, but most of the time i change their water out frequently, I'm just worried because of bad depression and fatigue times, you know? I'm working on making the most self sustaining systems i can, in part so that I am sure they'll be okay if I mess up sometimes. Just saying this because I hope you guys don't feel like you need to worry about the welfare of my pets. They're okay, i just always want better for them, is all.

Anyway, the sun is coming up and I should probably go to sleep. So uh, thanks for reading, if you read all of this randomness, and if anyone has thoughts or advice on anything in this post, i would welcome it! Good night!

#mine #long post #snakes #pets #food m #uhhhhhhhhhhhh whatever else needs tagging

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llendrinall · 4 years

Note

(1) Draco, Harry, Hermione & Ron (aged 23) all are working on a case. Harry & Ron are Aurors. Draco & Hermione are both Healers & Unspeakables. The case is something like a bunch of Death Eater wannabes trying to resurrect the dark lord. So while busting in on their ritual all 4 are transported to their younger bodies at different times. Draco (5), Ron (7), Hermione (9), Harry (11) (The day before Hagrid comes to fetches him.)

(2) Harry and Draco were married so they use a phrase to each other so the other knows that they're the other and then plan a meet in the Room of Requirements. After confirming that Ron and Hermione (Married) are who they are too they go to the meet too. While each playing the roles they had the first time around. They then work out a plan for the war (Since Draco hasn't found a way back they plan to change things).

(3) Draco needs to play the bully/death eater and work to save the lives of the war victims. While Harry, Ron and Hermione work out the horcrux ect. Befor and during the war they secretly work to make preperations and stuff to minimize the damage while also playing their parts as school rivals. And they manage to minimize the deaths and they manage to save a lot of familiar faces. Sirius, Remus, Tonks, George ect.

(4) So after Harry kills Voldemort (He had an argument with Draco cuz Draco was worried he wouldn't come back this time) they're in the grand hall and everyone just sees the golden trio going to Draco with smiles. Ron gives him a handshake, Hermione a Hug, and shockingly Harry kisses him infront of everyone (Draco's parents are like "WTF?") And says "Told you i wouldn't die." "Shut up you bloody git". (In my head its a long fic with a LOT of stuff added. I just wanna know how you'd write this)

Mmh, yes this would be a long plotty fic, so I won’t detail the structure, just some of the elements I would use to build it.

First, I would have them go back to exactly one month before they turn 11. There is a very nice symmetry there and we avoid having Draco too long in his child’s body. An adult Draco in a 5-year-old body would be terrifying. Lucius would just flee the country.

So they go back to 11 minus one month. Harry and Draco have 1-2 summer months to get settled and start figuring things out, Ron gets around 7 months to think about family dynamics and draft a plan to contact his friends. Hermione has a whole year plus change to rage, study and come up with a definite plan to Get Things Right.

There is a beautiful tense scene as they board the train, because Harry and Ron don’t know if their friend is their old self or their young self. They are both very cautious around each other until Harry notices the way Ron looks at Scabbers and he knows. It just takes a couple of loaded comments afterwards to recognize each other.

Hermione barges in their compartment in her usual way and they have to drop some very heavy hints to remind her they are not alone. They can’t spook Pettigrew. Draco comes by, stares at Harry in silence for a whole minute and then passes him a note saying he can’t find the diary and also he ordered Dobby to go serve Harry, he should be waiting in Hogwarts. It is unclear whether Draco knows this Harry is the old Harry because Draco is, and has always been, kind of odd. It took them a while to discover it, but Draco is just a bunch or random powerful ideas held together with anxiety and fire. Harry loves him so much.

They go to Hogwarts. You would think that in this timeline Harry would be the most belligerent/hostile of them, but it is actually Hermione. Hermione is a nightmare student. She has a list of one hundred and fifty names and she is going to save all of them (except maybe Dumbledore and Snape). She has no time nor attention to waste in silly classes telling her what she already knows. She only comes to class sporadically, aces all her tests and hands out beautiful neat homework that barely took ten minutes out of her day to complete. Teachers hate her (or heavily dislike her), but they can’t expel her. It’s beautiful. The twins develop a crush on her.

Harry waits patiently until Christmas so Dumbledore can gift him the Invisibility Cloak and then announces that he is not going back to the Dursleys. Dumbledore insists. Harry says softly “by Jove, I will not” and Dumbledore thinks about that exchange for a week. He forgets about it when ten days later there is an incident in Transfiguration class and McGonagall discovers that Ron’s pet rat Scabbers is actually Peter Pettigrew.

(They were going to wait until Quirrell tried to steal the philosopher’s. Hermione insisted they couldn’t deviate too much of the original timeline or they would lose their advantage of knowing what was going to happen. If something was going to change, it was better to attach it to some other important event.

But Harry pointed out that it would be much easier to keep Sirius alive if he had some extra months of freedom and he didn’t have to live as a fugitive and Ron was certain that they would be fine even if they changed everything. It wasn’t just their knowledge of the events to come, it was their knowledge, period, their experience.

Ron is a man now, and adult, and he is kind of freaked out at the shenanigans they did when they were merely children. What were they thinking? Was there no competent adult to point out that were kids? It shouldn’t be up to them to rescue Sirius or Buckbeak, what in the seven hells.)

Anyway, Sirius is freed and Dumbledore is forced to explain everything about prophecies and love magic and blood protection early, because Harry insists he is going to live with Sirius. Harry agrees to go back to the Dursleys for two weeks, but Sirius has to come with him and no, he will not come as a dog, that’s demeaning. He will spend his time at the Dursleys as a human, thank you very much.

Sirius is the first adult to realize that there is something not quite right about Harry. The others had noticed that Harry was… special. But Sirius is the first one to see through, although he doesn’t know what he is seeing exactly.

Lucius still uses the Diary against the Weasleys, but this time Ron picks it up. Their first week back in Hogwarts, they all go for a nice excursion down to the Basilisk lair. They bring the Diadem, too. Harry speaks to the Basilisk and both horcruxes are destroyed.

The rest of the year is spent plotting. Draco takes on the role of the bully and plays it up to hilarious heights. He picks on everyone, and that’s everyone, except Neville and Luna. Funnily, Cedric Diggory is a big fan of him and always answers to Draco’s banter.

Draco suggests having a Duel Club to Lockhart. There has been no student attacks, of course, but Lockhart loves the idea and Draco wants the opportunity to fight Harry and make ridiculously sexually charged comments. They have five very nice duelling sessions until the curse of the DADA post acts up and professor Lockhart is unavailable the rest of the year.

(Harry tutors everyone in his year so this time people will actually now how to cast a protego. Ginny comes to the classes too and is by far his best student).

That summer, Ron has a very long chat with Percy explaining everything. Ron is now eight years older than Percy and understand why his brother fell to the Ministry and rejected his family. The Weasleys had pushed him that way, hadn’t they? Ron also understands that suddenly being nice to Percy and giving him recognition won’t work. It’s too late. But telling Percy they come from another timeline in which Fred died gets Percy’s attention immediately. Percy spends a whole weekend freaking out in silence (nobody notices, of course, and boy is Ron appalled at his family dynamics). Come Monday, Percy emerges relatively calm, all things considered. He has given himself a haircut and is resolved to infiltrate the Ministry.

The locket is destroyed that summer. They let Sirius and Kreacher do it.

They were hoping to have all horcruxes down before Voldemort rose back, but Pettigrew escapes Azkaban and Voldemort comes back a year ahead of schedule. (Early 4th year).

Dumbledore locates the ring. Despite warnings from all of them (and Snape) he still puts the ring on and gets a curse for it. Hermione says if he is going to be like that, she will take him from her To-Save list.

Barely eight months after Voldemort comes back to power, the Ministry is full of his followers. For now, Voldemort is happy with acting from the shadows, but soon he will want more and the four of them want to avoid open war as much as possible.

Percy sends Ron Helga’s cup, broken. Ron asks how he did it in case they ever find themselves in a similar situation (new timeline and all), but Percy only says that he asked politely. That means there are only two (two? Or is it one?) horcruxes remaining. Draco decides to speed things up, before Voldemort stars his terror campaign. He tells his father than Dumbledore has a mysterious ring with an interesting crest and that’s enough to have Voldemort attack Hogwarts with all his might.

It may not seem like a good idea, but if you think about it it’s much better to have dark wizards try to take over a castle than over a cottage where a half-blood family lives. Plus, now they don’t have to sweep Britain looking for Nagini. They can see her perfectly well down in the grounds trying and failing to eat Hagrid.

The battle draws on and almost becomes a siege. The Ministry comes to help, only they help Voldemort’s side, what with being infiltrated and all.

It’s still preferable to the years of the war.

Sirius has been put under a careful and insistent treatment of “Sirius, no”, so he actually stops when he is told to, he doesn’t follow Pettigrew to a trap and he isn’t killed by Bellatrix. Well done, Sirius! Another advantage of Sirius surviving, beyond the fact that he survived, yay, is that he gets to save Snape when Voldemort decides he might not be a good double spy after all. Snape hates the idea of owing his life to Sirius. It is very entertaining.

Neville kills Bellatrix Lestrange. Luna kills Nagini (and feels bad for it, and cries, sweet Luna, may she always have a soft heart). Peter Pettigrew dies in a freak accident in which both the giant squid and the twins are involved. Cedric Diggory bullies seven Ministry wizards into switching sides.

Things are going good. There are many wounded, more than the last time, but no dead, not on their side.

Harry knows he will have to die, again. And it will have to be Voldemort. He can’t risk having anyone else cast the curse (would they even meant it?). They have changed so many things… They can’t be sure that all those changes won’t coalesce in this one instant in time. They can’t be sure that Harry will make it back.

But Harry still goes, because that’s what he has to do. He tries to make things as similar as possible, act the same way, say the same things. Maybe having Sirius and Moody and Tonks and Lupin alive and well and fighting won’t matter if Harry just follows the script on this.

But just in case it will matter, just in case Harry doesn’t come back this time, he throws some ad lib.

“Hey, Tom,” Harry says, holding his thumb between his index and middle finger. “I’ve got your nose.”

Well, at least he can be sure that Voldemort means it when he cast the curse.

The honour of killing Voldemort falls on Hagrid this time. It isn’t pretty.

And Harry comes back. Draco forgives him just for having said that line.

#asks #harry potter #timetravel #Anonymous #verse: deaged #textpost

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paragonshep · 4 years

Text

Happy N7 Day, friends and ememies, and welcome to an unplanned stream-of-consciousness thought experiment I like to call

The Bare Fucking Minimum

What is this, you ask? Well I am, once again, thinking about Jacob Taylor. Specifically, I’m thinking about the complete shitshow that was Jacob’s story arc. What were the themes, the overarching concepts? And were they deliberately trying to piss off everyone who romanced him?

In honor of the announcement of a remaster that will almost certainly do nothing for him, I’m here to ask: if we assume that all the major story elements must remain the same, what’s the minimum that could be changed to bring all of his everything from a major shitshow to a minor shitshow?

Let me preface this by saying that 1) I am not a writer, and 2) I am not black. The scope of this post is fairly limited, and mostly relates to tidying up the themes and emotional arc while keeping the actual events largely unchanged. I’m fully aware that Jacob’s loyalty mission, for example, is absolutely steeped in racist tropes, and that a lot of people out there would prefer to just throw the whole thing out and start over. I get that, but that’s not something I’m equipped to do, so if that’s what you were looking for, this post probably isn’t the one for you.

This is also pretty much spun right off the top of my head. I didn’t draft this, I’m not really digging too deep. I’m just collecting and laying out some thoughts I had floating around in my head, so this is gonna get pretty disjointed. Feel free to throw out your own thoughts in the notes. I may or may not dive in and chat with y’all, since this is mostly just to get these thoughts out of my head and on a page. We’ll see once things get going.

Anyway let’s start at the top.

1. What’s it all about, when you get right down to it?

So, Jacob’s whole arc is a complete fucking mess and feels like they just threw a bunch of random shit at it to see what would stick, but ultimately I think it’s about masculinity and Jacob’s conception of what makes a man. I think the key to Jacob as a character is understanding what traits embody masculinity, and which people he thinks have missed the mark. There’s clearly things like strength and integrity, but follow-through, duty, and keeping promises seem to be major elements in his definition of masculinity. Put a pin in that, we’ll come back to that later. Unfortunately, it’s time to talk about...

2. The Loyalty Mission

Oh boy. Welp. Let’s get this over with, I guess.

So obviously this is racist and really shit and really Bioware should just throw the whole thing out, but again, that's not what we're going here. This is the part I've given the least thought to, so it will probably be short and not come to many conclusions. anyway let's grit our teeth and look for the theme that ties in into Jacob's greater narrative arc. Specifically, if Jacob's whole thing is "what makes a man", then we need to look at how exactly his father missed the mark.

Spoiler alert: it's duty.

Ultimately, his father was captain and it was his obligation to get the crew home, even if it was personally inconvenient. It was his duty as a father to try to get home himself for the sake of his family. It was about obligation, oaths and promises he broke. Can I get some uhhhhhhhhhhhh fucking themes. Dive into that shit more.

I’m too tired to get more into it bc I’m actually writing this section last, but it’s interesting to note that even afterwards Jacob’s feelings about his father are complicated. Like, he hates the guy and thinks he’s despicable, but he still feels a need to try to find that things he got even half right. He can’t bring himself to write off everything the man ever was. That feels like a rich vein they could have done something with, but they didn’t.

3. The Romance, ME2

This one is an absolute fucking mess.

So there are two threads running through the core of this romance arc: the kink/powerplay element and the time element, and a major problem of the romance is that it doesn’t really know which one it is.

So, I know a lot of people dislike the whole kink element just on principle, but I’m not here to do that. Not everyone is into soft vanilla stuff, and it’s a little irritating how much of the fandom (and the world) tries to paint kink as inherently evil or unhealthy. THAT SAID, the kink here is inefficient in terms of storytelling, it’s sloppy writing, and the whole time I played the romance I was thinking “What’s the point of this?”. The problem with that element, and the fact that the ME2 love scene focuses on it, is that it does not serve any overarching narrative, either in terms of romance progression or Jacob’s whole character. It feels slapped on. It’s just not good storytelling. (and while i’m generally for kink, I am also side eyeing Bioware for slapping this on ME’s first black character and only him. not offensive in and of itself, but feels like part of a greater racist picture)

I’m honestly shocked they didn’t lean harder into the whole theme of time, and specifically time running out, because it seems like the obvious choice. It’s built into the whole main plot of ME2, and it’s an element of multiple other romances. You’re all heading into a suicide mission, there’s a serious chance you’re all going to die, and you don’t have enough time. Like what the fuck! That would have been emotionally satisfying!

Imagine if the final romance scene had featured Jacob coming to see Shepard and having this whole speech/rant about how he doesn’t like to rush into things, how he likes to take it slow and really get to know each other, but now there’s no more time and you both might die tomorrow, and he might regret this choice if you live but he knows he’ll regret not making it if you die!!!!!! That’s some real shit! it completes a narrative arc! It ties into shit we know about Jacob outside his romance!!! Why the fuck didn’t they go that route!!!!!!! Can you tell I’m still angry!!!!!

4. ME3

So Jacob’s role in this game is pretty minimal, so there’s not a lot to work with and not a lot to change. Good thing I can fix like 90% of its issues with one change:

It’s not his child Dr. Cole is carrying.

Like that alone you can use to fix a bunch of issues without changing the core themes of his character arc! It works in a romance and non romance playthrough! You can still do a fatherhood “doing better than my own father did” arc even if Jacob didn’t contribute the sperm, Bioware!!!!!

So here’s how I picture it: The stuff about meeting and getting to know Jacob can stay the same. The father of Dr. Cole’s child is someone we never meet who is generally out of the picture. Possibly one of the other scientists she was working with who were killed when their part of the project was complete. Her partner disappears, she goes to Jacob for help, and Jacob promises to help her and her coworkers get out and keep them safe. Remember that shit I said back under point one about keeping promises? Boom! Narrative arc complete. This would also serve as an excuse to keep Jacob from coming back the the Normandy, since he made a promise to Brynn and he’s going to see it through. This works even with a romanced Jacob, because he can love Shepard and also note that she’s not the person who needs him most right now! Is this a perfect solution that would please every player? By no means! But I bet a lot of us would be less absolutely livid about it!

In conclusion,

I realize actually implementing these changes would actually be a whole lot of work, and this is not, in fact, a simple quick fix. My point is mostly that this did not require changing any actual plot beats, just recontextualizing them, and that Bioware and the writer(s) responsible could have saved themselves a lot of angry players if they’d just picked a coherent theme for this character and stuck to it. There’s no excuse for Jacob’s writing being as incoherent and terrible as it is.

I could probably write a lot more about this, but since I’m basically illiterate this took me pretty much all day to write and I’m tired. Bioware Stop Being So Racist Challenge, and Happy N7 Day.

#mass effect #ME #ME2 #ME3 #Jacob Taylor

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motivatedtale-blog · 4 years

Text

About Motivatedtale

.:Contents:.

.:Author’s Note:.

.:Summary/Idea:.

.:Characters:.

Motive

Unmotivated

.:Stray Facts and Resources:.

FAQ

Rules

.:Inspiration:.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

.:Author’s Note:.

Hey, so I've noticed this a long time ago but I’m just now confronting it since I got my computer fixed- it seems pretty impossible to reach the “About Motivatedtale” on mobile, even with the literal LINK to the page (I could only sort of access it through some loopholes in a browser- and the link just took me to my Tumblr instead), so I wanted to compile the information that’s in there into a post for any mobile users who may follow this blog. I’ve got more followers here than my art blog-- so even if there’s not much interaction each post, I think there’s at least a few people who might not have access to an about page here. Changes are very likely to be made and things will be added occasionally :)

.:Summary/Idea:.

“Have you ever wondered what happens to creations when a creator gives up?”

Motivatedtale is essentially an abandoned AU with no finished story or a plot. Which, ironically, not having a story is the story itself. It’s a tale about how the lack of motivation (along with other things like self doubt and lack of interest) in a Creator leaves a story unfinished, and with no reason to exist, no story, the AU is crumbling into nothingness, as it is being forgotten by the only one who knows about its existence- the Creator. However, there’s two characters in it that have to deal with that burden of having no ending or reasons to exist. And they’re completely aware of what’s going on.

At least, the first one that was created is aware, because they were made to be that way. They inform the only other character (Frisk/Motive) about all of this when they meet. They’re a Sans of course (which is sort of a self aware joke because a lot of people either start with the Sans of an AU when creating characters, subtly revolve around a Sans of an AU in a story, or the entire story literally and shamelessly revolves around a Sans. This is not an attack on anyone). This Sans goes by Unmotivated, and is quite bitter about existing. These characters have no finished story, no destiny, and no purpose. Being self aware of this can be a great burden on hope and happiness; ignorance is bliss, after all.

What the AU would’ve been if it was “completed” is unsure.

How the story ends is not fully decided or meant to be disclosed (for now), but even if this AU is finished or not, it is already technically complete. It symbolizes a project that is given up on; a project that is abandoned, and what would happen if the characters in these types of projects were conscious about this- if our ideas existed somewhere out there, somewhere where our decisions, intentional and unintentional, have a serious affect.

So, if this AU is abandoned, it’ll be quite ironic.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

.:Characters:.

Motive

Motive is the Frisk of this AU, and one of only two characters that are in this AU. Motive was created after Unmotivated, but the coloring of their design was given up on towards the very end. Their sweater is unfinished because the creator gave up on them due to being overwhelmed with empty and destructive thoughts, but the outline/shape is still there. The sleeve usually is never shaded/effected by light.

Motive is an optimist, and believes that their AU will one day be finished. They have the soul of motivation, which is outwardly visible and tied to the loose hanging strap of their overalls. They don’t have preferences in pronouns (though they/them is usually the default), and calling them by any pronoun is fine (she/he/they/it..it really doesn’t matter, honestly).

Motive acts impulsively a lot of times and does not think of the consequences of their actions…or, they do, but they choose to move forward with their actions anyways. Since optimism is one of their key traits and it’s exaggerated and simplified in their character and logic, it can result in some bad outcomes. The same goes for their impulsitivity. They’re not that serious natured, and act more like a child than a young adult (despite being 18). However, they do make a lot of (sometimes unnerving) jokes that could be considered uncomfortable, but they mean no harm. While Motive is quite intelligent and empathetic, they’re distracted quite easily and might say or do inappropriate things during certain situations.

Since Motive is technically a new character and was not fully developed by their Creator (backstory, powers, etc), their underdevelopment as a character is actually a big part of their development as a character.

(More is to be added later)

Unmotivated

The Sans of the AU, and the first ever character created (which again is poking fun of the idea that people usually start with the Sans of the AU for characters). Unmotivated is bitter and cynical towards his existence and his Creator, and is completely aware of the multiverse and AU Creators. A big fourth wall breaker. He’s apathetic, bored and often paints himself as emotionless and uncaring to hide any hurt/feelings of helplessness. He bottled them away a long time ago. At first, Unmotivated was hopeful about his AU, but he was alone for an unspecified but long amount of time in his AU, and was driven to toxicity and bitterness during that time. He’s seen his universe grow, halt, and then slowly deteriorate- he has seen new ideas come and go, and is helpless to stop the rampant decay of his universe- his home- his story. He’s overall a pretty lonely character.

When or why he got the nickname “Unmotivated” is unclear- but it’s definitely supposed to be a pun. He hates the name but finds it funny and ironic at the same time.

Unmotivated’s soul is held by a string that is woven into his rain coat. He considers this to be poor design choice but doesn’t really do anything to fix it. He often keeps his soul in his pocket for safe keeping. (More is to be added later)

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.:Stray Facts:.

• The AU resets (sort of like an update) each time a new idea is added. This is how Unmotivated is generally aware of Motive when they’re created. • The “Creator” resembles anyone who has abandoned or given up on their projects or ideas. This isn’t meant to put people that do this in a negative light.

•The white of Motive’s sleeve isn’t meant to be shaded since it’s “incomplete.”

FAQ (most are from amino since not many people ask here)

- What was the AU supposed to originally be before it was abandoned?

This is undecided and left up for interpretation. However, based off of the design of the current characters, it can be safely assumed that the AU was supposed to be more lighthearted and cutesy. There are random bits and ideas spread throughout the AU that give glimpses to what it could’ve been.

- Can I draw fanart of these characters?

Of course! I’d be honored to receive fanart and would love to see it! Just please keep things appropriate if you do.

- Is Ink Sans or Core Frisk going to be in the comic?

No.

I’ve gotten asked this several times, and the answer is no. Doing this would completely ruin the theme and point I’m trying to get across with this comic. This story revolves around a Creator and their Creations, and there will be no other characters made by other people.

- Are Motive and Unmotivated shipped together?

NO.

It’s fine as a joke but please realize they aren’t. This isn’t an AU centered around romance and would distract from the goal of the comic if I had that. While I’m not anti-frans in any sense, I still don’t want it in my comic.

- How often do you plan on updating the comic?

Each page is published whenever I finish it nowadays due to stress of a schedule. I post them in bulks of 2-3 on amino and twitter, and whenever I finish the page on deviantart, instagram and here.

- Is the Creator a character?

Yes, and no. The Creator represents not only myself, but any artist that has struggles putting their creations out there due to insecurities or other causes. They’re more symbolic and fluent rather than a structured and identified character. Of course though, if there is any introduction of the Creator, I would have to give them some sort of design- and I do have general ideas of what they’d look like. However, they’re still supposed to represent a broader group of people than just myself.

- What does Unmotivated think about other AUs/Sanses?

Unmotivated has an apathetic mindset when it comes to AUs and other characters like him. He’s incredibly self aware and sees a much bigger picture. He knows characters are just pawns to their creator, and won’t get fazed by any story. Sort of like watching actors in a movie while constantly reminding yourself that they’re just actors. However, he is quite envious of anyone with a complete and happy storyline, since that’s something he lacks but yearns the most. That’s something he wish he had.

Keep in mind Unmotivated and Motive cannot interact or travel outside of their AU, and no one can interact with their AU except the editor/creator.

Rules

• Please do not publicly RP with these characters unless given permission. This might be changed after more of the comic is complete, but I do not want these character’s personalities to be strewn.

• Please do not draw or write NSFW with my characters– I am a minor, and a large part of my audience are also minors.

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.:Inspiration:.

Alright, this part is going to be a lot less formal and more personal. The idea for this AU came from my own self doubt and self destructive attitude as a creator. Doubting my own works and ideas has seriously held me back for a long time, and it STILL holds me back as I’m sure it has for many, MANY other creators like me. Musicians, artists, writers.. Almost all of us have that fear of trying out a new idea or making something you usually wouldn’t. Almost all of us have felt that crushing self doubt when you see someone better than you, and you tell yourself you’ll never be like them, your art will never be that great, you’ll never get that far…so on, so on.

So, while I was trying to come up with an idea for an AU (which I had actually been considering for well over a year), the thoughts crept in.

“no one will like this”

“there’s enough AU’s”

“you’re unoriginal”

“this is a waste of time”

“the fandom is dying”

“you have horrible character designs”

“AU’s are overrated”

“this doesn’t fit your audience”

“people will judge you”

“you never finish anything”

“this is stupid”

“your art isn’t good enough”

“you’re not good enough”

“someone probably already came up with this idea”

“no one cares about your idea”

“no one would bother with your art”

And ironically, all these thoughts gave me this idea.

Even so, these thoughts have still been nagging me every time I even try to work on this, and it’s been taking a lot of courage to take on the heap of anxiety I have over something so harmless. I didn’t join the Undertale fandom for over a year simply because I was afraid of being judged for my interests,, fun fact. Never thought I’d be able to make an AU. I’m still quite nervous posting art of anything that isn’t Mario related for some reason.

Putting all this to side though, I find the concept of what happens to unfinished and/or abandoned stories and projects interesting, especially if there’s an alternate reality that’s actually effected by your decisions. Kinda like you’re a god. I mean, imagine what it would be like if you had a creator and they just gave up on you, and you’re left with no purpose. Seems like it would suck, haha.

So that’s basically my AU, Motivatedtale. If you have any thoughts or questions, I’d love to hear them. Thanks for reading if you did!

#Motivatedtale #undertale au #comic #about page #alternate universe #information #motivatedtale comic #au #au comic #au sans #au frisk #motive #unmotivated

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spencermccn · 4 years

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✧｡ jeong yunho. twenty three. male. ｡✧ is that SPENCER MOON living at THE LINKS in APARTMENT 202? i heard the ART TEACHER has lived there for FIVE YEARS now. every time you pass by you can hear TONGUE TIED by FABER DRIVE playing. maybe they play it because they’re friends would say they’re the STARRY EYED. it could just me assuming things. even if they would say they are GENEROUS and AFFABLE that doesn’t mean they can’t be PASSIVE or GULLIBLE let’s just stop by and ask them sometime. considering they’d describe themselves as midnight walks and fresh brewed coffee when you can’t sleep, figuring which of your favorite books you want to reread, and paint spattered hands that’s if they’ll actually answer the door. good luck. (ooc: hera, she/her, 26, gmt-6.)

hi loves! i'm sorry i'm here so late, i had to work today and only recently got off! besides that, i'm so excited to be here because it's been a hot dang minute since i've been in an rp, but i'm excited to be with you all nonetheless! until then, i'll be putting a bit below about this lil bean <3

name: moon haneul / 문하늘 / spencer moon nicknames: spence, age: twenty-three dob: 06/30/97 zodiac: cancer sexuality: heterosexual occupation: art teacher [[TW: desertion & homelessness ]]

spencer was born as the oldest child of five children, two younger brothers, and two younger twin sisters. being the eldest, responsibility always fell on his shoulders, which he didn't really mind for the longest time, and for some time he felt proud to take the responsibility of his younger siblings.

his parents working full time only seemed to heavy the load on the boy's shoulders, his growing siblings (and brothers specifically) becoming more and more rebellious. at first, he tried to do the 'authorative brother' thing and help them out, but it only got worse and worse.

his parents' approach was to move their children's schools when things got bad enough, but after the fourth move in two years, spencer had had enough and stood up to his parents, expressing how much he hated being moved around, and that it was hard to have to make friends and plant roots over and over again, only to lose them.

he thought that since he was always a reserved kid, never second guessing or back talking his parents, that they'd at least hear him out. but he was quickly proven wrong, both parents berating him for how ungrateful he was and how at least his younger brothers were thankful for what they had, despite their abhorrent behavior. they ripped into him for what he could've sworn was hours, and when they were done, the boy was left speechless.

by speechless literally meaning that he didn't speak to his family for days, ultimately packing up a backpack the night before their scheduled big move (out of state this time, specifically) to sneak out to a friends house and stay for the night.

of course, he woke up to a flurry of missed calls and messages, his mother, father, and siblings all sounding furious, and he knew it wasn't something he should've done, but he was nothing short of absolutely shocked when finding his house empty, his family indeed leaving before he had came back home.

spence stayed there for a few nights, living out of what he'd packed from his backpack, to wait and see if they'd come back for him, but after a week had passed, then two, he'd lost any hope that may had been left.

for a few months, the at the time sixteen year old would sleep wherever he could, whether that be friend's couches or even an underpass or two, before he was able to land a job at a bakery that was within in his normal path. it was owned by a sweet old lady that he tended to smile extra bright at everytime he walked into her shop. he was able to disguise his living situation majority of the time, but soon enough the woman found out and was kind enough to let him stay in her guest room.

he lived there until he turned eighteen and could rent an apartment on his own, and stayed at that job while he went to school. he didn't end up leaving the job until after graduating college, but he still stops by the bakery frequently.

nowadays he's an art teacher and loves it to pieces. it may not be the best paying job, but that's when he also does art on the side to earn some extra cash.

personality~

he is SUPER friendly tbh. he never meets a stranger and will easily talk your ear off if you allow him.

he loves any and all kinds of art, be it paintings or sculptures, plays, music, books, movies...you name it and he'll easily admire it.

on the topic of admiring, boy is a BIG hopeless romantic! he's got a big weak spot for romcoms/full out romance movies because he loves any and all kind of love stories. if he's in a relationship, he put his entire soul into it, be that little notes or random visits or monthly flowers...anything that he can shower his significant other with affection.

a magnificent cook. he kinda had to learn how to take care of himself as a whole once his family left, and the grandma he lived with cooked for him on the daily. after so long he asked if he could help and learned how to make a variation of different delicious foods.

he will do anything for those he cares about. need him to cover your lunch? sure. need a ride or someone to walk home with because you drank too much? of course. bought a bookshelf and didn’t realize it wasn’t assembled and now need help with it? he’s your guy. just ask him and he’ll likely be there in an instant.

possible connections??

the grandchild of the grandma he stayed with, because after them having seen him a few times at her house, they’d probably be a little confused before learning the whole situation. this could have evolved into a close friendship or even a relationship??

i’d absolutely love a best friend he’s known since he was with his family! maybe even they could’ve let him stay with them while he didn’t have a place to live for a bit? also would lowkey love if they had a stupid bromance like the boys from this movie (x) (x)

a midnight walking buddy, because he has many many sleepless nights and his remedy is to stroll along the city, and he’d be happy to have a friend to talk to while he does so

i’m gonna ask shamelessly, but i’d honestly love like an unknown baby mama for like, y’know, drama 👀👀👀 also bc i’m a sucker for parent plots. but like maybe it could’ve been an ex that unintentionally got knocked up and felt like he wasn’t put together enough to have a kid, so she never told him and tries raising it on her own? granted if or when he were to find out he’d 1000% want to be there, but them trying to figure out each other still would be fun

former & current coworkers! someone who may’ve worked with him at the bakery, or may even a frequent? and someone who works with him at his school, or even a student teacher or so. they could be someone he meets up with for lunch every now and then and talk (one taken, but could have more also if applicable!)

i’d love to have his siblings (granted that may more of a wanted connection on the main, but i digress) but they’d range from probably like 18 to 22!

and literally anything else?? ex girlfriends/hookups (which he’s not usually the type for a hookup, and would prefer a relationship, but we all know how alcohol can get sometimes akdsjf) former roommates, a bad influence?? he’s totally open for options! :D

i apologize for this being so long >.< once again i look forward to talking with all of you and like this if you’d like me to come to you <3

#twenty3:intro

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spnreactionblogging · 4 years

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LAST HOLIDAY

spoilers below - backdated from 10/9/020

oh hey abaddon, is alaina huffman in this? that would be nice all these beheadings, damn I couldn't watch this live when it aired because I don't have cable but I bought season 15 on amazon this time last fucking year so technically any time after 2AM I could've watched it, not actually sure I'll make it through everything tonight because I started at 10pm and I am Tired the livestream misha did was fun for the first 30 minutes but then I had to turn it off to avoid spoilers so I guess I will revisit that later I like sam's flannel in this one too. like gold, light grey, dark grey? A+. this is queer flannel. this is from EXPRESS, not Kohl's the bunker has a gas stove I guess which I should've known having all the appliances fail suddenly is very relatable to me and perhaps one of the worst monsters of all don't mock luigi, he knows how to deal with ghosts sam has the plans and dean just smashes buttons god that burger does look great "meat man" who wrote this one ah the dean deluxe the scooby doo boxers are pretty cute honestly who is jeremy adams 1958, yeesh "everybody?" "everybody's dead" standby mode huh, were they supposed to have like... lights this plot is very narnia, wake up to find out everyone you loved is dead they have extra abilities in the lead-up to the final boss, and the network is willing to spend more on the electricity to give them more lighting sam is right to doubt anything ever being good is anyone going to tell jack they're leaving him alone with some random person and lmao thank you sam as I was typing this he pointed that out jack's shirt/sweater looks very cozy snickerdoodles are great magic roomba... thanks for calling him the son of satan, lucifer doesn't even want to be called satan "ignoring your trauma doesn't make you healthy" THANK YOU SAM time + space, indeed uh just throwing this out there he could use some emotional support too probably please accept this sandwich as an offer of solidarity god it's nice to see alex be allowed to emote again leave these guys alone, they're drinking blood packs with curly straws aw, come on :( those guys didn't deserve that I guess if she's a wood nymph she can summon a christmas tree? where's the secret christmas decoration storage room in the bunker yeah tell sam to smile :\ I hate holidays except halloween god I love how jack waves I do love how much jensen loves wearing goofy outfits, this made me smile big time. I'm glad they clearly had so much fun on the set with this stuff especially knowing what comes next IRL :( she's right to be worried about his cholesterol just waiting for the other shoe to drop with something terrible befalling this group watching dean run in that outfit is hilarious poor jack doesn't deserve all this but I'm glad that she's helping him kind of work through the grief where the fuck is cas so it seems like ultra fucked up to be watching them do no-knock shit into people's homes and shooting them no questions asked, and it has always seemed fucked up but right now the methodical nature of this and their goofy smiles taking packed lunches while setting out to murder people minding their own business is not cool with me and never has been the 50s were bad, actually god sam has the hammer of thor. thank fuck. is it may? is it sam's birthday in-universe? what files was she going through, eyes emoji jack is smart, actually oh boy is she brainwashed, are they keeping her held hostage with magic or something, because the men of letters don't give a FUCK about monsters and will use them jack's a millennial and can look up instructions for how to operate a reel to reel and 100% knows what it is because he lives in the bunker "son of a bitch" jack's spending too much time with dean sam has a big date huh, I hope it's with eileen "abercrombie and bitch" IT IS EILEEN!!! dean should definitely be nicer to sam poor jack has no one to turn to for help :( where is cas!!!! can they not afford to pay misha also I don't feel sorry for nazis there are a lot of beheadings on this show, pulling someone's head off definitely seems like yanking on a plant vs pruning it with sharp pruning shears or whatever oh you're shitty lady "do you ever think they're scared of what you'll do to someone else" uh yeah there was that time they locked him in a coffin please stop hurting this child if she's so sure sam and dean would approve then she'd do it when sam and dean can see her yeah I am not surprised she was poisoning him MAKE THE BUNKER SAFE AGAIN!!!!! maga shit, get rid of all the monsters, says a monster the writing here is.... iffy. little heavyhanded dean's thinking about it, that's what's so fucked. like "look I already tried to kill him one time" we just keep comparing jack to snakes but I prefer when yockey's doing it sam looks so much like vincent from silent hill 3 in this outfit sam really is the smart one. jack's a child, he hasn't had a lot of experience with this. dean... I guess tried to explain what he wanted but didn't realized he'd get overruled but sam is smart because sam knows how to deal with witchy shit. like he'd survive in a hansel and gretel situation. GET HIM JACK GET HIM this is BULLSHIT dean tried to kill him and he didn't answer the question re: "do you still think i'm a monster" fuuuuuck this WHERE IS CASTIEL, why is jack always trapped alone with dean and unable to get away OTL dean won't admit he himself is a monster either lol oops. or that sam is. oops!! dean is mourning the loss of omelets and his new mom who can cook and some semblance of normality "evil mary poppins" is very funny to me because I've been watching venture bros and dr killinger has been showing up how long has this been actually? sam's birthday is in may, did they actually celebrate all those holidays in real time? I got the impression that it was a holidays-speedrun but now I'm doubting myself why is it always torture THANK YOU SAM!! SAM SAID IT!!!! "jack is not a monster, he's a kid who's gone from one tragedy to another" THANK YOU!!! sam just won so many points with me for saying it out loud "pain is just weakness leaving the body" huh, at least it opened the door :\ sam poor baby lost all his fucking fingernails trying to stand up for jack :( it's wild seeing smoeone's eyes glow green this is why cas can't be here, because castiel could just stop her just go back to your forest lady sam's right, the men of letters just use monsters for their own ends sam goes "we care about him" dean goes "oh yeah jack's useful" which to be fair dean's trying to logic/rationalize it, that the world needs jack, but I don't know that those lines would have been reversed insofar as characterization feeling authentic she's having trouble processing her own grief ah yeah there it is "sorry I ripped your fingernails off one by one" yeah god she hasn't seen the sun in decades?? "it's an interdimensional geoscope" "I looked into it earlier and didn't see anything" "oh that's... not good" I'm glad sam and jack are talking about how jack is feeling and if he needs to talk I'm glad dean is cooking happy birhday jack where is castiel for this I have mixed feelings but I guess this turned out okay, still waiting for DEAN TO APOLOGIZE TO JACK? but dean never apologizes to anyone. the cake is a step in the right direction but cake doesn't make up for locking him in a box and threatening to kill him several times over, sorry

#s15e14

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noxstellacaelum · 5 years

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Female Protagonists Deserve Their Stories

Believe me, I get it. I am not the target audience for shows like Shadowhunters, Veronica Mars, or GoT. I am far, far removed from ship wars, cons, and the overall social media craziness that seems to animate fandom culture for shows like these. These shows -- particularly Shadowunters -- are really just guilty pleasures for me. With bonus points b/c they are sci fi/supernatural/fantasy/action & adventure genre pieces with strong female protagonists. That’s all. Just a genre that I love. Nothing life-changing.

So why, months later, am I still so pissed off about GoT S8, Shadowhunters 3B and the &*%& Shadowhunters finale, and basically all of Veronica Mars S4? Especially when the writers/ show runners behind these projects -- and huge chunks of the fandom -- really, really don’t give a shit about what someone in my demographic thinks.

Fundamentally, I am pissed off because each of these shows destroyed the narrative arcs of their female characters. And, because the showrunners -- a bunch of middle-aged dudes -- should have known better.

This post focuses on Shadowhunters. And I am writing it just for me. I appreciate and understand that others may disagree.

Ok, let’s just acknowledge the demographically engineered pulpy charms of Shadowhunters (TV) up front. The cast were (and still are, obviously) uniformly gorgeous; the casting was racially diverse (YAY!!!); each season features lots of angst-y love triangles, break-ups and make-ups (Oh, the drama :-)); and, the show deliberately centered LGBTQIA relationships, especially Malec (again, YAY!!!)

So, what’s my problem, when there is so much to like about the show’s stated desire to be inclusive and diverse? Especially when I believe that representation matters, particularly in genre projects like Shadowhunters, which historically have tended to lack diversity with respect to race and sexual/gender identity.

My problem is that somewhere along the line, the Shadowhunters showrunners decided that to tell the story they wanted to tell, they had to eviscerate the narrative arcs of Clary, and by extension, Jace.

To understand why the decision to sideline Clary (and Jace) is so frustrating, it helps to know a bit about the TV show’s source material. (Spoilers follow) SHTV is based on The Mortal Instruments, a six-book series written by Cassie Clare. Clary is the protagonist of TMI: Clare has described TMI as a “girl power” story, and she has made it clear that in TMI, she wanted to tell a story where a girl saves the world. She’s even clapped back at those who would question whether Clary is worthy of heroine status. Last year, in the Thule section of Queen of Air and Darkness, Clare showed us an AU where Clary doesn’t save the world (and is instead killed by Lilith, the mother of demons). It’s a hellscape: Clary’s evil brother Jonathan controls everyone and everything; angelic power no longer works; and anyone who tries to resist Jonathan is hunted, killed, “endarked” (turned into a soulless, murderous soldier), or otherwise enspelled. All of our other heroes are dead or enthralled. Realizing that he was turning into a demon, Magnus begged Alec to kill him (which Alec does, before committing suicide). And Clary’s love Jace? Devastated by Clary’s death, and enspelled by Jonathan, Jace becomes twisted and evil.

In addition to the Thule AU, Clare has written more generally about right of female creators to own their own work (on a Tumblr blog post). And, she has used other series in the shadowhunter world to center other characters and relationships (e.g., the Malec series currently underway); to interrogate gender roles (e.g., the Julian and Emma pairing in TDA); and to explore relationships and identities other than the Clary/Jace pairing (e.g. the polyamorous Christina/Mark/Kieran relationship in TDA). Why does all of this matter for SHTV? Well, Clare wrote TMI, and she made Clary the protagonist. So the fact that Clary is the protagonist of TMI was not some ancillary or inconvenient matter for SHTV. It was and is at the center of the books upon which SHTV is based, and as to which the show has IP rights.

[NB: This is not to suggest that Clare prefers Clary and Jace to other characters or other ships, or that other characters aren’t also heroic or ship-worthy -- they are, they are just not the protagonists of TMI. And, SHTV is still based on TMI.]

[NB2: And, I absolutely don’t mean to suggest that the show had to be a transcription of the books, or that only Clary and Jace should have gotten screen time. I am affirmatively HAPPY that the show gave rich story lines to other characters -- especially Simon, Magnus and Alec.]

With that background in mind, why do I think that Season 3B and the finale destroyed the Clary and Jace characters? Well -- and I know this sounds snarky -- let’s look at the parade of plotholes, the random redistribution of plot points, Clary’s loss of agency, the and general sidelining of the Clary and Jace characters and their heroism. (Again, spoilers to follow). I leave the memory wipe to last here, because I still can’t believe that anyone thought destroying three seasons of character development was a good idea.

1. Evil Clary story line: In the books, Jace is twinned with Jonathan. This makes narrative sense: Jace and Jonathan are “brothers” of a sort, having both been raised by Valentine, and Jace’s vulnerability to Jonathan (and Lilith) is rooted in childhood trauma of abuse and neglect that Jace endured at the hands of Valentine.

In the show, however, Clary is twinned with Jonathan. From the start, Clary’s ability to resist the rune is tied to her proximity to Jace. In fact, as 3B progresses, Clary becomes increasingly unhinged and violent any time she is physically separated from Jace. Eventually, when she is blasted behind a wall while on mission (and thus physically separated from Jace), she succumbs entirely. All of a sudden we have dark Clary, taking a walk on the wild side with the murderous brother who kidnapped her and nearly killed Jace just a few short weeks ago in show time. Dark Clary joining forces to burn down the world that she loved, and that she repeatedly saved. Really??? And then, when Jace and the others finally manage to free her from twinning rune, we see Clary saying that she WANTED to help Jonathan with his murderous rampage. And, we hear Jace saying that the call of blood was too hard for Clary to resist. Again, really??? The girl who killed her father, called upon an angel to bring her boyfriend back to life, survived the death of her mother, and who was nearly killed by her possessed boyfriend is somehow unable to resist the call of her Morgenstern blood? What about Clary’s agency? Her strength? Her love for Jace and her chosen family? Her identity as a shadowhunter? Enthralled book Jace at least still loves Clary, and has a scene where he temporarily breaks free of the twinning rune, and makes it clear to Jonathan that he hates him, and that he is being controlled. But Clary says she wanted to help her brother, and that it’s her fault for being unable to resist her “blood.” While team evil might have been fun -- and probably was a blast for the actors to play -- it didn’t make narrative sense to me. Not the biggest sin, and to each his own. But not for me.

2. Heavenly fire storyline: In the book, Jace is filled w/ heavenly fire. Clary eventually figures out how to get the heavenly fire from Jace into her weapon (heosphoros), which she uses to kill Jonathan. In the show, Izzy gets the entire heavenly fire storyline. Again, why??? For one thing, the scene in which Clary and Izzy fight (and Izzy ends up with the heavenly fire after being struck by shrapnel) -- while cool -- made no sense to me. Book Izzy is a formidable warrior. Show Izzy is disarmed by Clary (who has been training to be a shadowhunter for, like, 5 minutes at the time of their battle). Also, why does Izzy get the heavenly fire from a few bits of shrapnel, but Clary is totally fine after being STABBED by the sword? More generally, other than giving Izzy more to do, what was the thinking behind taking away this story arc from Clary and Jace? And, for making Jace basically a potted plant in 3B? (In contrast to book Jace — who was key to the good guys’ victory— show Jace is made to basically stand there: Show Alec, Izzy, Magnus, and Simon get literally every single heroic plot point in the finale — remember that we’re Lightwoods moment, sans Jace (the adoptive brother)?? — while Jace is relegated to crying or supporting Clary.)

3. The Jace character: While this post is principally about Clary, I can’t help but note that the show did everything possible to isolate Jace and make him incompetent and unlikable.

- Book Jace comes across as arrogant and as a wise ass, but Clary and Alec see the arrogance for what it is -- a coping mechanism/ PTSD following a childhood full of trauma at the hands of Valentine. Through his relationship with Clary, Jace learns that he is worthy of being loved, and that he can love without destroying. And, Jace’s parabatai bond is a source of strength and joy for both Alec and Jace. Show Jace gets none of this. 3B kept Clary and Jace apart from each other much of the time (what w/ Evil Clary preferring to help her murderous brother burn down the world). 3B also effectively eliminated the parabatai bond: Alec is entirely focused on his relationship with Magnus, and he is impatient with a clearly suicidal Jace. You can count on one hand the number of minutes that Alec and Jace are on screen together in 3B.

- Book Jace becomes (with Clary) head of the NY institute, having rejected and fought against bigoted members of the cohort. I appreciate that this likely could not be shown b/c the show does not have the rights to TDA, but this does not explain why the show made Jace so incompetent as head of the NY institute. Show Jace gets the job only because of nepotism (Herondale blood). Show Jace is on board with the downworlder registry. Show Jace is so incompetent that he abdicates in favor of Alec after about a day. None of this made any sense.

- Book Jace is all-in w/ Clary from the beginning. He has one encounter w. Aline, but that’s presented as being as much about Aline’s confirmation of her sexual identity as it is about Jace in turmoil. (I know some people object to CC’s writing of Aline, but again, it’s her story.) But even if the showrunners felt that the Jace/Aline hook-up was “problematic” -- and I get that some fans feel that way -- why did the show choose to do some weird male version of slut-shaming of Jace? There is the Jace encounter with Maia. (To be clear, this was shitty to the Maia character, too. She hooks up with a drunk rebounding Jace, whom she had just tried to kill. behind a bar.) And, the comments about Jace, Kaelie and book club. Everyone keeps talking on the show about how Jace sleeps around, and they judge him for it, when, in reality, Jace is pretty darn faithful to his relationship with Clary from the moment they meet. Simon, Clary, Alec, Magnus, and Izzy all have more sexual encounters (and in the case of Simon and Izzy, more partners) vs. show Jace. And no one calls Simon or Clary slutty. No one decides that Alec is unworthy b/c he lies to Magnus. And no one decides Magnus is unworthy or slutty or not devoted to Alec because he’s had many sexual partners in the past.

- As noted elsewhere, the show isolated and shamed a clearly depressed and suicidal Jace in 3B. He’s shown devastated and alone in 3B when he thinks Clary is dead in the “Lost Without You” montage: Alec (his parabatai) and Magnus are busy comforting each other; Maia is comforting Simon; Mayrse is nowhere to be found. Same thing after Jace almost gets himself killed on the mission involving the Seelie: Alec yells at him and tells him to suck it up; Mayrse once again is absent; and only Izzy checks in. Then, in the flash forward, Alec, Magnus, Izzy, Luke, Mayrse, and Maia all seem entirely unconcerned with Jace’s state of mind. Once again, he’s told to suck it up and move on.

4. Female characters/ sexuality generally on the show: So much could be written about the show’s treatment of its female characters generally. Book Izzy is strong and fierce, and yes, body and sex positive. Show Izzy is all over the map. S1 captures Izzy’s sass, but she’s treated like slutty eye candy sometimes. S2 and S3 Izzy has more depth, but less sass. Tell me again why she had to be a drug addict? Or, why she gets disarmed by Clary (who had a couple of months of training at that point in show time) in the finale? Or why she alone (vs. Mayre or Alec) is sent to check on a clearly suicidal Jace? To be clear, I loved the Jace/ Izzy bond, but why does the show let Alec and Mayrse off the hook w/ regard to Jace’s mental health, and leave Izzy w/ caretaking duties? And Mayrse, who seems to exist in season 3 solely for the purpose of being punished — and then being redeemed — for her S1 homophobia. She becomes “captain of the Malec ship” after being deruned, and then is shown caring for Alec when Magnus is in Edom, and nurturing the Malec relationship. But, she vacations in Brazil in the finale with zero regard for her grief-stricken, suicidal adoptive son? And then there is Maia. Why does she hook up with Jace against a wall behind a bar? And what’s with the forgiving her abuser storyline? And Clary. Believe me, nothing made me happier than the show’s decision to make reasonably short work of the incest story line. But to have Clary literally jump into bed with Simon, her bff? Immediately after learning --falsely, as it turns out -- that Jace was her sibling? Was that Clary’s first sexual encounter? Was is not weird to suddenly start sleeping with your friend (who you turned into the vampire, and who can walk in the daylight b/c he drank your ex-boyfriend/ now you think your sibling’s blood)? I know the books present Jace, Clary and Simon as a love triangle — YA, after all — but book Clary wrestles w/ her feelings for Simon. I get that aging them up on the show — which I liked — would have changed the dynamic around these relationships and the characters’ sex lives, but the handling of the Climon story line was so clumsy. And, in any event, why is S2 Clary snarky about Jace’s sexual past (the book club comments)? And in 3B, why does dark Clary manipulate — or worse — a basically roofied Jace at the club?

5. The Memory Wipe: OH.MY.GOD. I CANNOT EVEN CONVEY THE DEPTHS OF MY DISLIKE FOR THIS TROPE OF A PLOT POINT. In the book, Simon volunteers to give Asmodeus his memories, thus saving Magnus (and everyone else). Once again, this makes narrative sense -- Simon never wanted to be a vampire, and he (unlike Magnus) could survive the loss of his memories, and even return to mundane life. And, after Simon gives up his memories, his friends NEVER give up on him. Clary, Izzy, and the others watch him, they reach out to him, and eventually, with Magnus’s help, they reconnect with him. Magnus even says that stealing Simon’s memories was a little bit “fascist.”

Show Clary has it much, much worse. Let’s remember how it played out in the finale:

- Jonathan goes on a murderous rampage. Clary saves the world using her rune power, killing her last living relative, knowing she would be stripped of the Sight and her memories.

- Notwithstanding Jonathan’s mass slaughter and Clary’s sacrifice, the MOST IMPORTANT THING is that Magnus and Alec have decided to get married at the institute the very next day, after dating for about three months on-and-off in show time.

- And so we have much of the finale devoted to the wedding. We see everyone smiling and happy (despite the slaughter of shadowhunters around the world the day before and Jonathan’s death at Clary’s hands). We see Clary in a very revealing dress sobbing as she dances with her boyfriend and her runes are obviously disappearing -- but no one notices. We see Jace letting a sobbing Clary walk out the door.

- And then we see Clary alone, sobbing on the street in a revealing party dress, in the cold, with no memories, no I.D., no best friend, no love of her life, no money, no home (burned down in season 1), no mother (killed by Alec), no father figure. Nothing. I get that sacrifice is a shadowhunter virtue, but the trope of a memory wipe (I see you, Chuck) is SO far from canon, and so inconsistent with how Clare wrapped up the Clary (and Jace stories). Zero emotional logic.

- Then, to make matters worse, we jump ahead one year, and no one gives a shit about Clary or Jace or their sacrifice at all. Alec and Magnus are living their best life mixing cocktails in Alicante (leaving Alec’s clearly devastated and suicidal parabatai to just figure things out, I guess). Maryse (Jace’s adoptive mother) and Luke (Clary’s father figure) are vacationing in Brazil, seemingly more concerned about the humidity than they are about Clary or Jace; Izzy and Simon are loving life together at the NY institute (so much for Clary and Izzy as parabatai, or Simon and Clary’s friendship); and Simon tells a grieving, suicidal Jace -- the same Jace who almost killed himself a couple of weeks prior in show time -- to stop checking on Clary and to move on. Apparently, Simon thought that Maia’s naming a salad after Clary was enough. So much for Jace’s mental health. So much for Clary and Simon’s friendship (and in the books, their eventual parabatai bond).

- But, we we did get closure for the lizard/ Lorenzo; Underhill’s first name; and an update on Raphael. All of these developments were apparently more important than honoring Clary’s narrative arc, her chosen identify as a shadowhunter, her relationship with Jace, and her chosen family.

None of it made any sense.

1. Why would the angels strip Clary of the Sight when she used her rune power to SAVE THE DAMN WORLD? After all, let’s see who gets to keep the Sight/ memories in the showrunners’ telling: Valentine (insane, imprisoned an angel, killed downworlders and shadowhunters ); Jonathan (murderous, insane); Alec (killed Clary’s mother while possessed); Izzy (also possessed); Jace (killed his grandmother and mundanes while possessed, threw Clary off a roof, almost killed Alec); Jocelyn (almost killed Jace, circle member); Aldertree (despite getting Izzy addicted to drugs and torturing downworlders). The list goes on. But Clary’s invention of runes to stop her insane brother from destroying the world incurs the wrath of the angels?

2. The showrunners would have us believe that Clary lost the Sight (and her memories) because the angels were spiteful. How does this fit with Cassie Clare’s conception of angels AT ALL? They are completely unconcerned with human emotions in the books. And, why would only Clary suffer this fate when, as noted above, there are shadowhunters who did terrible things for entirely selfish or otherwise awful reasons?

3. In what world would Jace not notice his girlfriend’s runes disappearing? In what world would he ever let his sobbing, de-runed girlfriend -- whom he just got back from the twinning rune/possession/killing her last living relative -- walk out the door alone?

4. For a show so concerned about representation, what about Jace’s story as a survivor of childhood abuse and trauma? What about Jace’s near suicide earlier in 3B? Why does everyone in Jace’s life (specifically Alec after the Seelie mission and Simon in the finale) tell Jace to suck it up and move on when he is clearly depressed and suicidal? What about the show’s depiction of the relationship between Jace and his adoptive family? What message does the finale send about who was — and was not — a member of the Lightwood family when Mayrse and Alec either ignore Jace or yell at him when he is grieving and suicidal? So much for family. And, what about Clary’s mental health, after the showrunners stripped her of her friends, family, chosen family, memories, identity, home, and love?

And then, after all of this, the showrunners made things worse by talking up how important the wedding was for them, even as they made it clear they didn’t care about the resolution of the Clary, Jace and Clace story lines.

- The show runners misidentified the supposedly spiteful angel who I guess would have been the big bad in Season 4 in press coverage of the finale.

- They said they didn’t know where the Clary, Jace and Clace story was heading, and that “fan fiction” would figure it out.

- They talked about how difficult and important the seating chart was for the wedding, and about how they had tried to get every character, no matter how minor, back for the “reception” scene. And they spent precious time in the finale showing us party scenes involving ancillary non-canon characters (Underhill, Lorenzo) vs. coming up with a coherent resolution to the protagonist’s story.

- They engaged only with Malec content on social media, and talked endlessly how the show was a “love letter” to fans, and ignored less favorable fan reaction involving the Clary and Jace characters.

- Same drill for the writers, BTW. A young female writer for the show (who supposedly was the book stan in the writers’ room) has been on social media explaining how great it was Clary’s story line came “full circle” in finale. She’s now heading to a con with the show runners, having studiously ignored questions about the show’s treatment of Clary and Jace. (I get why she would do this — work, and all — but still.)

- To the extent the showrunners, producers, and writers have addressed Clary and Jace at all in press coverage of the finale, they have argued that the memory wipe was no harm/no foul b/c the final scene suggests that love conquers all. First, we knew that -- we are talking about a pulpy YA novel, after all. Second, if the last scene sends the message that love conquers all, it’s because Kat M. and Dom S., the performers, imbued that scene with more depth and emotion than the writing deserved. Finally, the love conquers narrative ignores the fact that Clary and Jace earned their character arcs as INDIVIDUALS, not just as half of a ship. Clary deserved her identity, her chosen family, and her love. Jace deserved his hard-won happiness with himself, and in his relationship with Clary (and in his relationships with Alec and Izzy). I personally didn’t want a wedding -- I don’t think anyone should get married after a few months of mostly unsuccessful dating. I did, however, want to see these characters enjoying their hard-won happiness vs. a dystopian future for two characters only, w/ a rom com meet cute tacked on at the end.

Fundamentally, the showrunners made SHTV into a fan service-, ship war- driven series of plotpoints in 3B and the finale. There are lots of potential reasons for this: Maybe they preferred the Malec storyline, and thought that playing to Malec fans might help the show get picked up (or maybe get a Malec spinoff approved); maybe they thought that punishing Jace and sidelining Clary might please some segments of the SHTV fandom; maybe they bought into the idea that the books are “problematic” and need to be fixed, or that dislike of certain performers justifies trashing the character. Whatever. The end result is the same: For me, they lost the narrative thread of the characters, and the emotional logic of the stories. They fed into a stupid ship war and a stupid book vs. show war. And, they played into scarcity, as if honoring Malec required tearing down Clace.

At the end of the day, the show runners’ decision to wipe Clary’s memory broke the show for me. No matter how much I love Malec, and no matter how amazing the last scene was (and how lovely the performances were in that scene), I will always believe that Clary and Jace deserved better.

And so I want to say to the showrunners and writers: NEXT TIME, LET YOUR PROTAGONIST HAVE HER STORY. SHE EARNED IT. (And FFS be tiny bit humble when there is source material :-).

#shadowhunters #the mortal instruments #shtv #clary #jace #clace #cassie clare #cassandra clare #tmi

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zackarack-kelroth · 5 years

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So, I had bot create a new Metal Gear Solid Plot and I’m amazed at it-

[METAL GEAR SOLID: ANOTHER STORY]

After the events of Shadow Moses, Solid Snake met up with Colonel Roy Campbell. Preparing to be debriefed with a new mission to do with nothing more than a cigarette in his hands.

He was assigned to infiltrate and clear out the Iraqi satellite surveillance facility, Freedom House, which was being dug by rogue satellite equipment crews in the wake of the Mossad's agent Muammar Qaddafi's attack on Liberty City. Also preparing to be debriefed was Rick Deckard, who was investigating the incident involving the Replicants near Solid Snake's area.

Something that Deckard himself has dealt with before. Colonel Campbell would then send the two off on an airplane in Afghanistan only to be shot at by Jack Dannlinger, who was undercover as Meryl Silverburgh. He asked for more bodies from the Replicants to verify the terrorist incident. Deckard would find himself caught in the crossfire and destroyed, as Campbell came out of the ambush dead.

In the aftermath, he discovered that the Replicants needed him and that his friend J. Edgar Hoover to introduce him to his former boss. It was Hoover who appointed him the first of his secret agents, a young F.B.I. agent named Norman Armitage.

Suspiciously Armitage was later discovered to be having an affair with someone named Marion Bishop, an attorney who had been working with Project Purity. Surviving the attack, Solid Snake crashed into Afghanistan to finish the rest of his mission. There, he met Raiden, Psycho Mantis, and Gray Fox, all of whom attacked him.

After defeating them, he escaped the island and returned to the west coast.Alone and naked, Solid Snake spotted a few guards inside an Afghani village. No doubt hiding Qadafi inside. He would then kick the shit out of them. It wouldn't make sense that he would go after such a man in such an isolated place. The only solution would be to break into a police station in this quiet corner of the nation. He needed to test his new katana against law enforcement's weak points.

The police station was next to the Ali Baba Clock tower, which was also a training facility. Inside, Snake would find Hoover and Armitage. Monologuing about the Replicants and their plans to surpass the Patriots and to control the American Government. Solid Snake growled, responding to these events by giving his own pieces of advice about World Peace. He said that if the Patriots succeeded in destroying the Patriots, it would no longer be possible for them to keep their power base in the hands of the global group. He described how they might lose control and lose access to the others: the forces of the Patriots may experience internal conflict.

Armitage cackled before pressing a button, activating their own Replicant Metal Gear. Its codename being based on the teddy bear found in the RGM-79 Model S Custom. "Kushka" had received a specific model of armor with twin smokesticks on it during the experiment for hunting and disassembling the original's unprotected transmission, so she preferred using a Replicant.

Seeing this as a threat, Solid Snake glanced at the Metal Gear before he began to attack it by poking around it with his grenades. Once again the Metal Gear started to spit out its "damaged components" as shown by Solid Snake. Liquid pulled out the tactical nuke and used it to fire a ball of fire at the Metal Gear, blowing up portions of it. After the nuke exploded, Liquid used the design of the nuke to make a "bowie knife-like" knife which he used to stab the Metal Gear's crotch.

Snake: Well, Armitage. It looks like your plans are over. Time to give up and put your hands behind your head. There's nothing more than you can do.

Armitage: ...Ah, wait, wait! ...

Papa: I don't think so, Armitage. There are some things even the strongest man has to be wary of.

Armitage: Papa, how did you know...? Papa: None of this would have happened if not for...well, a few things.

Armitage: Well, that doesn't matter! I'll be taking Mr. Hoover, Qadafi, and the Replicants back to the US with me! Enjoy the fruits of your folly, Solid Snake!

Armitage would cackle before pulling out an AK-47, shooting recklessly at a dazed Solid Snake who was stumbling in the shadows, the latter also firing at a parachuting Solid Snake who looked like he was going to collapse from the impact.

Solid Snake would counter Armitage's angered stream of bullets. Realizing that he only had three grenades left and noticing the traitor's position on top of a broken elevator shaft, he'd pull the pin on one of the explosives before throwing them at Armitage.

Armitage, too angry to see the speeding grenade coming at him, would then quickly move around the corner, causing the other grenade to explode mid-flight, having found a clear route past the gadgeteer. Armitage would then be held up by Solid Snake on the second floor. Hoover being knocked unconscious as the soldier would hold the barrel of a 9mm Barretta up to the back of his head.

Solid Snake: Well, Armitage. You've screwed up. Now where's Qadafi?

A few moments later, Armitage would be stabbed in the back by a well-aimed sniper rifle shot that grazed the right side of his head. The man's body would then fall over the railing.Shocked by this random betrayal, Solid Snake would glance up towards the ceiling to find Qadafi himself. Accompanied by a sniper named Jonas (who was supposedly over six feet tall), Qadafi were handing out small pamphlets about the Free Syrian Army in the hope that Snake could be drawn into the conflict by these views. Snake did end up on the first round of a battle on the Eastern Damascus plains.

Solid Snake: Qadafi... WHY DID YOU KILL ARMITAGE? And why are you using Hoover for your replicant army?

Qadafi: Because you're a bitch.

Jonas would then aim down from the ceiling at Solid Snake as he stood angered on the second floor. He would then fire his Sniper Rifle at him, causing Snake to jump to the third floor and fire his hand cannon at Jonas. He would then shoot one of Snake's eye, causing the soldier to collapse to the ground.

Now only functioning with one eye, Snake took a deep breath to calm himself down before aiming his assault rifle up at Qadafi and Jonas. He would then seal the door and shoot Qadafi in the head before he could escape.Angered by Qadafi's death, the sniper known as Jonas would yell at Solid Snake.

Demanding him to come out of his hiding place while firing several shots from his sniper rifle to lure him out.

Jonas: You bastard! I won't accept this!

Solid Snake: You think I'm all alone and without purpose? Just for acting tough?

Jonas: Oh, I hate you! That's what I think! Hating me doesn't make me a soldier, soldier! (to Snake) How could I have been so wrong!? How could-

Solid Snake would then open the door, revealing himself to be holding a rocket launcher as Jonas squeals from on top of the ceiling. The former member of Foxhound would aim at the sniper before saying one of his signature one-liners.

Solid Snake: I don't know what's going on. But I do know one thing. I am good at being boss!

And with that, Solid Snake would fire the Rocket Launcher at Jonas. Causing the sniper to scream one last time before getting blasted by the weapon and falling off the clocktower. Jonas would then crash down onto the ground below. His own sniper rifle impaling him from behind as he went down, buried in the concrete. Jonas would die screaming in agony.

After defeating Jonas, the bleeding out Solid Snake would then sit himself down. Lighting a cigarette before putting it to his lips. Feeling his consciousness drift away. He would then speak his last words out cold and alone.

Snake: You...you've been through so much, huh? Upon dying the Fierce Fighting Spirit dying one last time. As it seemed that nothing could stop the nature of his final "end."

Armitage was killed, Qadafi is defeated, and the world finds itself in peace once again. Solid Snake did the right thing for his country. He was a real Patriot. A man who could do nothing wrong.

And so the moral of this tale is that you are the most important person in the world. No matter what. You are the savior of the world. Whether you are neutral or strong towards an enemy is irrelevant. Whatever side you are on, go out there and fight. Always.

[THE END]

#metal gear series #metal gear solid #metalgearmemes #bots writing #memes #shitpost #ohmygodimlaughing #solid snake #depressed #kojima is god

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surejo · 5 years

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( victoria pedretti, cis woman ) hey ! have you seen JOSEPHINE “JO” CORMAC around ? SHE works at the HOT COCOA STAND at big bear resort, but they must be off their shift by now. well, if you do see them can you let me know ? they’re 24 years old & they’ve been working here for TWO YEARS. they tend to be +OPTIMISTIC & +EMPATHETIC, but can also be -IMPRACTICAL & -PASSIVE. the other employees have labeled them THE IDEALIST. thanks a lot ! ( the few nights the stars can be seen, books worn down by dog-ears and marks left throughout the years, the first crisp breeze of autumn, the duality… of t.s. eliot )

OK. a few notes before i get started:

1) i hope everyone loves how i literally j copied my ivan stuff. url format? ‘sure jan’ lives on. theme? too lazy to find a different one that’s easy to work with. luv that for me. 2) speaking of this theme i forget if i addressed this on ivan’s blog but tabbed bullets don’t appear tabbed.... so if anything seems like it doesn’t make total sense.... it is supposed to be tabbed™. 3) get ready for drama!!!!! you may ask yourself “but the app looks so tame! there will be no drama!” but you are wrong........ because she loves cats. the t.s. eliot book......... the musical........ even the movie.

ok jo,, is also a resurrected character,,, hence how i already kno,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, that she loves cats. anyway ! let’s begin ! (listen,,,, the intro format will at least be a little different from ivan’s ok im evolving)

QUICK FACTS:

full name: josephine “jo” rose cormac

date of birth: march 6, 1995

*does not perfectly reflect the below big three zodiac chart because that’s too much math

zodiac big three: pisces sun, gemini moon, cancer rising

gender & pronouns: cis woman & she/her

sexual orientation: bisexual ( preference for women bc we luv that for her but we also luv leaving things open to chemistry )

education: bachelor in english - literature that she is doing nothing with

enneagram: 2w1

mbti: infp

various inspirations: eleanor crain ( the haunting of hill house ), dolores price *as a child and towards the end of the book ( she’s come undone ), fox 8 ( fox 8: a story ), “why try to change me now?” - fiona apple (cover), “be still” - the killers

BACKGROUND INFO:

triggers: verbal/mental/emotional abuse/gaslighting, very slight implication of spousal abuse, brief mention of car accident/death & drowning

( ivan and jo’s breakout pop-punk single: “fuck happy backstories!” stream it on spotify ! )

jo......... was born into the wrong family, let’s get that out of the way.

it was pretty clear she was a ploy to save the marriage of her parents ( who have names: lucy and benjamin, luv that for them ). it didn’t seem like they’d ever picked up a parenting book, gone to a parenting class, rly prepped for being a parent at all...... in their entire lives.

that being said, her mom was actually decent at parenting. her major flaw, though? ok, so you know how kids usually have that one bedtime story that they love and want it to be read to them over and over? well lucy complied ! but y’all wanna know what that book was ?

t.s. eliot’s “old possum’s book of practical cats” whfeiuldjkn

anyway ! when jo was seven, after many failed attempts and simple threats, her mom was finally divorcing benjamin for realz. due to his volatile nature, it was becoming very clear that she was the more fit parent and she almost got sole custody ( the only reason benjamin was motivated for it in the first place was the power so?? )! how exciting!

but the keyword is ‘almost’!

alexa, play ‘my heart will go on’ but the off-tune flute version

just as the proceedings were going through, jo’s mother was hit by a drunk driver on new year’s eve. the car skidded onto some ice, minimal damage done... then the ice broke.

jo and benjamin both devolved after that. jo withdrew more into herself and pretty much coped by..... just reading old possum’s a LOT (hate that for her). all mopey, benjamin became much less outwardly violent. the keyword is ‘outwardly.’

ya, instead of j bein like “i will just chill” he was like “i will just make my rage more subtle because in this house, we love intimidation, manipulation, hostility, the blame game, and gaslighting! uwu” managed to convince jo that her mother’s death was somehow her fault, that he was the only person she could trust, that she will never be able to live without someone else, etc., etc.

a few years in and a cycle of many impromptu sleepovers began. luv that for her. hate that for her, but luv that for her.

there is a lot i cld talk abt here, but it all seems like it cld j be tl;dr’d as: “basically became the surrogate daughter of a bunch of other people”

as for things that r not tragique™, jo was v much a drifter when it came to friends. managed to make a fair amount bc she does not seem like she will put a tadpole in ur hand like ivan. also j a people-pleaser but that’s starting to get into her personality which is another section.

did go to college. luv that for her. has NO CLUE what she’s going to do with her degree, but she can make some really sick niche william faulkner jokes.

began seasonally working at big bear during the winter break of her last year in college because bitch needed some money!! wound up loving it and was like “i think,,,, i will continue to do this,,,, the people here,,,, r cul,,,,”

still visits benjamin every once in a while. not a way to say that uwu you should forgive ur abusive parent(s) uwu rather that jo.... still has slight belief in him. just to end on something emo.

THE REST IS HISTORY!!!!

TL;DR:

started life out as a saddie, not a baddie. still not a baddie, but no longer as much of a saddie. loves “cats” and there is no irony to that statement. can make good niche literary jokes, but that’s about it.

PERSONALITY/MISCELLANEOUS INFO:

a child. a literal child. a child to the point that she should have supervision when she goes on grocery trips because she falls for marketing ploys so easily. can’t believe she hasn’t fallen into a pyramid scheme yet.

an absolute dumbass. again, can make some great niche william faulkner jokes, but ask her the order of the planets? “...well mars is somewhere in there.”

unironically LOVES cats - both the musical and movie. thinks jennifer hudson’s grizabella is the best. will start sharing random facts about it or old possum’s book of practical cats if she runs out of things to talk about but feels pressured to keep talking. was broken when she first read a different t.s. eliot poem and realized he was actually super dark. the only thing that got her through it was a comparison to batman :\ bruce wayne is old possum’s, batman is everything else.

to take a brief break from fun personality facts, v down on herself bc benjamin’s words rly!! stuck with her!! convinced she is an absolute idiot and does not trust her own memory. v indecisive bc of this and always longs for someone to help her figure things out. tries to distance herself from memories of her mother because, again, benjamin got to her. her love of cats doesn’t help that, but... can you believe that’s her coping mechanism? makes up for it by giving all of her love 2 everyone else!! we love tragedy!! and needing to go to therapy!!

secretly knows her love of cats is weird and dumb. a part of her knows why it’s considered one of the worst musicals ever. but LISTEN. we luv rly weird coping mechanisms!

big dreamer. will develop the most impractical goals. she usually knows they are impractical, but still..... uwu

has decided everyone is good until proven bad! except for,,,, like,,, murderers and rapists,,,,

is #StraightEdge for the most part,,,, literally has a drink maybe three times per year

says “like” a whole lot for someone who majored in english with a concentration in literature and should therefore be more eloquent.

i am not great at these sections!! feel free 2 j refer to her zodiac, personality tests, and character influences!!

literally fox 8. i put the others there bc she’s similar but wow,,,, if u read fox 8 (it’s a short story i recommend it i luv george saunders u can find a pdf online),,,, she is fox 8.

here u go here is a sample that doesnt need context: "Fox 4 woslike: No ofense, Fox 8? Your ideas are not super praktikal. Dreem, dreem, dreem, said Fox 11. Fox 41 woslike: Fox 8, does this honestly never get old for you?"

OH ALSO. she has a slet. a cat,,,,, named asparagus,,,, whom she calls “gus”,,,,, and y’all know WHY.

recent development: has downloaded tor so she can get on the dark web. why? because she thinks there will be more funny animal videos on there. is shockingly good at navigating it.

CONNECTION IDEAS:

close friends bc we luv that –– roman (nuanced), aylie (nuanced), hazel (nuanced), cleo (nuanced), vic (nuanced), marco (nuanced)

childhood friends whom she possibly had impromptu sleepovers with bc that is v soft and,,,,, y’all i left the city blank for a reason. –– hazel, marco,

on that note, the person who was like “wait,,,,,,, u know that book was turned into a musical right,,,,,, like,,,,, a musical literally everyone knows” and shook jo’s world

good influence / bad influence –– cleo, vic,

~*confidant*~

roommate

exes –– ian,

reciprocated pining

unreciprocated pining

someone..... who has accepted..... that she likes cats.... in a way that is not ironic. will see the movie with her. –– aylie,

an enemy,,,,,, aka this person was like “cats is literally the worst thing in the entire world” and now they r on jo’s very short hit list –– riley

idk!!! im also obvs up for brainstorming!!! luv that!!!

** descriptive connections page is here ( only people who i’m messaging are on it, but i ?? would love to plot w everyone ?? so don’t make the short list make u think i’m trying 2 limit it 2 these ppl auhfoeidla )

LIKE THIS OR HMU TO PLOT !

#bigbearintro #y'all my intro style evolved!#there's a tl;dr beneath the bg info bc i!! rambled!!#i feel like i went back and forth b/t proper grammar/punctuation and.... not.... caring.#also i am. dumb 2night. it j took me a hot while to figure out how to spell punctuation and it still doesnt look right the english language #is so weird????#we post this before we have many followers we die like men.

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lucispietate · 5 years

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Dear Hurt/Comfort Exchange writer

Hello, fellow writer! First of all, I really want to thank you in advance for taking up the challenge to make something for me, I appreciate it so much. I really enjoy being surprised (especially with pairings where Canon leaves a lot to the imagination and everyone has their own headcanon) so you're absolutely free to write anything you wish and mostly take this letter as suggestions if you need inspiration.

I don't have much to say for likes, I have some fandom specific ones but overall I'm fine with anything. I tend to love heavy introspection, conflicted relationships and angst with an happy ending/bittersweet tone, but I'm really fine with anything. I also want to point out that you're free to combine my tags/prompts however you wish and that while I didn't bother to include "both hurt" for any of these ships, it's absolutely always allowed. As for dislikes: - any kind of dub con and on page rape unless otherwise specified. I can accept harassment and such, but not too graphic - AUs, especially fluffy modern AUs and supernatural ones (Canon divergence within the original universe is fine and encouraged) My only real exception is Romeo and Juliet where I do enjoy modern AUs as long as they still keep the violence/hate/gang war element of the play - sex described in any detail. I'm not bothered by it and I don't mind allusions, jokes or fade to black, but the scenes itself hold no interest for me - cheating (jealousy is fine and so is crushing on more than one person at once with all the guilt it entails, as long as it leads to poly, healthy or not, or stays a frustrated wish) - unrequited love that doesn't get resolved either by the two getting together or the pining person finding their true love - eating disorders or tbh even dwelling on appearance related insecurity is a no no

GOTHAM

I want to preface I'm a DC newbie, so I can't really appreciate crossovers or influence from other media and I wouldn't want futurefic, especially not involving BatCat, I just want to see them as kids For BatCat I would prefer something set between season 1 and the first few episodes of season 3, before they start their weird on/off relationship. The one exception would be the killing for the first time prompt, in relation to what Bruce does in the beginning of season 4, and that horrible plot line with Selina's mom since it's such an ansgt/hurt comfort goldmine . I think canon offers a lot of possibilities with them already, they do a lot of rescuing each other and I'd like anything that is cute and sweet. Something from their time living on the street together would be adorable too.

For Selina/Bridgit I would be happy with anything: a cute moment of them living on the streets as kids, Selina helping Bridgit to work through Dr Strange's conditioning, or something angstier while Bridgit still thinks she's a goddess and Selina her servant and Selina trying to show how much affection as she can while in that framework and things that blur the lines between comfort and act of service/worshipping like washing, taking of care of poor little Bridgit's burns etc.

For Oswald/Ed... Wow, there's so much potential. Any moment from their first meeting, a What If where Oswald regrets his deeds and decides to thaw Ed himself and then nurse him back to health, the two of them adopting Martin... Anything really, I haven't read much on these two

GAME OF THRONES

What I want with Yara/Dany is mostly something to give me joy after that godawful ending. So I would love something set post ending, with Dany being exiled/imprisoned, in a terrible mental state and only Yara who's still loyal/taking care of her. Though also Yara coming to terms with her last brother's death would be something wonderful

SIX OF CROWS

No particular ideas here. Any moment pre—book with them getting hurt in missions, Inej's first kill, the tattoo removal, or something like what happened in the prisoner cart, with Kaz having a serious breakdown and Inej being the only one to notice and try to comfort him, knowing most of her instinctive reactions would make everything worse because of his issues

INHERITANCE CYCLE

Murtagh and Nasuada are my childhood otp and I would honestly squeal to get anything at all about them would make me giggly. I like the idea of an AU where Murtagh is rescued early with baby Thorn in a tow before Galbatorix can completely break them with the torture, or something more emotional/psychological post saga, where they must help each other heal from their Shared Trauma and mental issues they both seem to have in the last few chapters. If and only IF you feel like it, this is the one fandom where I am ok with sexual abuse as a past event as I used to occasionally write Galbatorix as having had a relationship with Morzan in their former days and viewing Murtagh as a replacement in more than one sense.

ROMEO AND JULIET This is somewhat complex. First of all I want to say I made somewhat of a mistake in nominations phase by nominating some d ships as All media types while others nominated some as Shakespeare, but I'm absolutely ok with fic based on Shakespeare or any production of Presgurvic's musical. Exceptions are the 2010 revival and ensuing tour and Takarazuka productions. Also while I said I am okay with AUs here, I'd prefer they not be based on the 1996 movie in aesthetic/characterization, though the stakes/situation of the feud is a good example of what I imagine for modern au. Now going specifically about each of my prompts:

For the Romeo/Juliet ones I mostly want emotional hurt/comfort, either set during their wedding night or in a AU where they manage to leave together. It always bothered me that it's assumed they just went straight to fucking on their wedding night: I love the idea that they, well, somewhat fought over the Tybalt issue, snuggled, comforted each other for their losses and imminent separation and Romeo's obviously very traumatizing murder experience, maybe got to know each other a bit more and shared about their insecurities, their clearly a lot to unpack family baggage... There's lot of potential here. I am very attached to the play, so I do like to believe in them being soulmates/true love rather than a random fling, silly as that is, so I'd like the tone of the whole thing to be according, and I am pretty attached to the canon ages too (almost 14 as per canon for Juliet and please not too much older Romeo) so ofc the no sexual stuff beyond the vaguest throwaway mention rule holds especially true here.

Regarding the Montague boys anything tied to the pretty self explanatory prompts is perfectly fine, either set in the present or as a cute childhood flashback. I would definitely appreciate some kind of AU where they all live but are badly hurt or mentally scarred in the course of the events Now, for the various combinations of Benvolio/Mercutio/Tybalt... again, plenty of self explanatory tags. I think these three characters and which tags would best fit which of them are very dependent on personal headcanons and I don't want to limit that at all, especially for individual relationships as opposed to the ot3. I'm definitely very interested in exploring the dynamics of their love triangle and possible polyamory and the obvious hurtful effects it has, (I generally see Mercutio as the center with Benvolio and Tybalt somewhat disliking each other at the beginning, though that can absolutely change, later! ) jealousy, feeling of inferiority by each of the boys, guilt, abandonment issues, the like. My first instinct is to imagine Bencutio as together and Tycutio as bitter exes who may or may not go for another round at any moment, but the reverse or any other combination of Drama is fine too. I also love scenarios, for either individual ships or ot3, that explore the effect of the feud on their lives: someone having to be nursed back to health after a duel gone too far, someone being traumatized by their first serious act of violence, the unrealistic expectations/responsibility/toxic masculinity Tybalt and Benvolio are loaded by their families and so on. An AU where Mercutio survives the duel but is very badly hurt and Tybalt is guilt stricken by his own deed and starts to realize his feelings for him as he helps take care of him would be lovely.

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rayofsunas · 5 years

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BTS relationships as BP songs — BTS

A/N: I saw this somewhere in my tumblr requests, and don't remember the username/couldn't find it when I looked. It was from a really long time ago, I think from May? Sorry, I'd written down the request in my notes and let it pile up. The request was BTS' relationships with a fem! S/o as BLACKPINK songs. I chose a few songs that were mostly my favorite since whoever requested didn't give me a specific song list to go off of. Also, since this request wasn't really into depth, I decided to just make a random plot of the S/O and members relationships. It's bulleted even though I hate doing that and some of the members imagines are shorter than others, sorry about that also.

Pairings: Kim Namjoon x Fem! Reader, Kim Seokjin x Fem! Reader, Min Yoongi x Fem! Reader, Jung Hoseok x Fem! Reader, Park Jimin x Fem! Reader, Kim Taehyung x Fem! Reader, Jeon Jungkook x Fem! Reader

Summary: BLACKPINK songs as BTS relationships with their female S/O

Warnings: swearing, judgement, angst, fluff

Words: 1,425

NAMJOON (RM) — Kiss And Make Up

"And I'm tired of talking."

• Despite being similar, at times you couldn't help but realize you and Namjoon were polar opposite in some aspects of your relationship

• It wasn't that you valued different things, more so that you saw the world differently

• which wasn't always a bad thing. because uniqueness was always good

• but it seemed these days arguments lasted much longer and became even more intense over the tiniest of things

• at times you didn't want to talk, because talking half the time resulted in arguing

• you'd usually share kisses, no talking involved and then by the end of it all, everything was as if it had never happened

SEOKJIN (JIN) — Forever Young

"You light a fire in my heart."

• He was older than you and your friends always reminded you of that

• there wasn't a huge age gap. nothing over ten years. but still, your friends found it odd that you'd chose someone not close to your age

• Jin wasn't embarrassed. and actually preferred your age rather than someone closer to his age or older

• you were still a baby in his eyes, which was good on your end as well because you liked affection and got to be babied/spoiled

• if worked out well

• since you were younger, you made him feel more confident in everyday things in life

• like trying new foods. going to events/concerts he never would've, changing his style up a bit and wearing clothes that he thought would've never looked good together on him

• Jin was pretty confident in your eyes, but really he'd of never done certain things if not for you

• and you always felt like he'd protect you no matter what the situation was

• he also felt obligated to protect you and keep you close since you were younger

• Jin knew you weren't dumb or naive, and that honestly surprised him at first

• you were smart, but just liked to be babied for some odd reason

• like I said though, it didn't bother Jin because he was more than happy to baby you

YOONGI (SUGA) — Really

"If you really really love me."

• behind closed doors he showed you so much affection

• some might even not believe you if you told them how much affection Yoongi was capable of giving to someone he loved

• but he wouldn't come out with your relationship, not even when he was given the choice to do so from his managers and company

• you could understand why. he wanted privacy, since he no longer had much of it, and feeling like his relationship had no privacy would be a jab to the heart

• but at times, you couldn't help but feel like he was maybe embarrassed or disappointed of you

• truth was though, he wasn't embarrassed to show you to the world. in fact, he'd be honored and proud to do so

• but a few things stopping him was that privacy would be an issue, on both ends

• after BTS blew up, he knew how crazy some of the fans could get

• most of the time, the fans were super supportive of idols dating

• but other times, they couldn't be so nice, and rather icy cold

• to say the least he didn't want you to become targeted/attacked verbally or psychically

• you often complained and wondered if he really loved you, doubting the love he claimed to have for you

• because if he wasn't ashamed of you, he would've told the world already

• he agreed, although he always said he really did love you , even if you didn't necessarily

• you believed him. because you know he was being truthful, he wasn't a liar

• you just hoped he'd tell the world and not keep you in the dark forever

HOSEOK (J-HOPE) — Don't Know What To Do

"I don't know what to do without you."

• Hoseok was the lightness shining through your dark days

• no matter what, he could always cheer you up

• and if he couldn't, he'd find a way to do so and wouldn't ever stop

• one of his goals in life was to make you happy

• god forbid if someone stopped him from doing so

• he'd probably become so cruel,

• he'd show a side to him that many thought wasn't possible of happening

• but when things became hard you could count on the goofy kindhearted man to always be there for you

• you never pictured him leaving you or you leaving him. because you both needed each other

• hoseok made you feel happy, gave you so much love

• and you made him feel like he was more than just a good laugh. like he wasn't just the goofy man everyone had always known him for

• you really did love him, and your goal was to make sure he knew that

• if you'd lost each other somehow, you didn't know what you'd ever do

JIMIN — Stay

"I just want you to stay."

• touring, traveling, studio time, and long hours were all part of being an idol

• especially an idol part of the biggest boy band to date

• all you wanted was to spend time with him, but that was becoming harder to come by these days

• it's not that he didn't want to spend time with you, because god knew how much he did

• but his schedule was always full

• at times, he wondered if he should really stay with you

• because what's the sense of dating if you're never around each other/barely see each other

• he wanted to be able to give you a better/happy life, and by being absent, he wasn't going to accomplish much

• after he addressed you with the issue, you'd reassured him that you'd stay with him, despite the hardships

• you didn't want Jimin to leave either, because you loved him and he loved you just as much

• at the end of the day, you just wanted to stay with one another

TAEHYUNG (V) — Kill This Love

"Let's kill this love."

• you'd come out of relationship with a cheater last year

• and you thought moving on with someone would make things much easier to handle

• which is where Taehyung came in

• at first he was sorta a rebound. but then you began realizing you were pretty selfish to act that way towards someone who only wanted to love you

• you'd been dating Tae for ten months when you started feeling a bit lost. you started missing your ex, and couldn't really pinpoint why, especially since you'd been so heartbroken over the infidelity

• Tae was better in many more ways, one being he hadn't cheated on you or done anything remotely close to it

• you still had feelings for your ex, despite his scandal

• You'd go through a mental struggle of trying to realize that what you had in front of you was beyond perfection

• you needed to kill the old love you still held in your heart for your cheating ex

JUNGKOOK — Kick It

"I'll break ya break ya heart."

• Jungkook always saw you as some delicate little flower

• someone who didn't deserve/couldn't be broken no matter what

• but you were tougher than he realized, you'd gone through things most hadn't even experienced, and were capable of breaking his heart if things became too hard

• if loving Jungkook became too complicated, you could bounce at any given moment

• because that's what you were good at. running off like a coward

• you were afraid of loving someone wholeheartedly and then receiving nothing in return

• surely breaking the young boys heart would make him stay away, or so you thought

• Jungkook had a stubborn side to him

• and he'd fight back if what he was fighting for was extremely important to him

• that something happened to be you

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spaceorphan18 · 5 years

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SO Watches Friends 1x01-1x03

Apparently, it’s been 25 years since Friends aired - and I’m seeing all these articles on it, how it was the greatest ever, how it sucked, how apparently the youngins are discovering it on Netflix.

So - I felt like, what they hey, I haven’t seen it in years, and I need to watch something while I have meals, so let’s see how well this show holds up.

Pilot - The One Where Monica Gets a Roommate (because how else is she going to pay for that apartment.)

It’s funny to me that this was the hot new show of the time. Because these people are... incredibly boring. The beginning montage is them sitting in a cafe talking about random boring things for what appears to be hours, then they go home and watch TV. This seems to be what they do on the weekend. I mean, I realize in the early 90s there wasn’t /that/ much to do - but still, they live in NYC, and most of the stuff they do on this show will be sitting around doing nothing.

So, let’s break down these characters, shall we?

Rachel - It’s her wedding day, but she skips out on her wedding because she didn’t love her fiance. I think this is supposed to be funny? While I do think, in general, all of the characters are more relatable (and nicer) than in later in the series, she’s such a weird amalgamation of what the writers (or network?) thought would be relatable? I mean - she’s kind of dumb, and rich enough that money isn’t a problem, and her family values are set back in the 50s - hence her getting married so her husband can support her instead of her father.

I get where the character is coming from - but while it might have been more of a progressive stance at the time -- it seems like a relic now.

Monica - Who is the most together one of them at the moment. I like early Monica, tbh, who appears intelligent (for the most part). They’ll later take her quirks and make her a neurotic nutjob - but I can appreciate her mature nature right now.

She goes on a date with Paul the Wine Guy - and again, it shows just how boring these guys’ lives are that they’re standing around her apartment with nothing better to do than to cheer her on about her date. Is this what people in ther 20s did in the early 90s? I was much too young to know. Anyway - Paul the Wine Guy is an asshate who uses lines to get Monica into bed. The network thought this would make Monica sleezy. I’m so glad times have changed enough that we can look back and be glad we can see that it’s really Paul the Wine Guy who’s sleezy, and that there are faster ways to figure out if a guy is a creep or not.

Phoebe - Phoebe has absolutely nothing to do in the pilot other than be there and be weird. I much appreciate it - because this show would be utterly boring and devoid of any quirky elements if she wasn’t there. Also - Lisa Kudrow sells the comedy while most of the rest of them (minus Matthew Perry) seem to be just reading the script.

Joey - I have no idea what Matt LeBlanc is trying to do here. Is he doing a NYC Italian accent? Is he trying out for a part? He’s kind of the most cringy during the Pilot but at least that’ll go away quickly.

I don’t have a whole lot to say about Joey, he and Chandler are like two halves of the same character at the beginning, both with little development. But - funny enough, maybe it’s age, I found myself agreeing with Joey during the whole dishing out life advice thing to Ross -- there’s no such thing as soul mates or destiny, get out there and live life :P

Chandler - Like Phoebe he doesn’t have much to do other than make quips. Granted - he did have some of the best, genuinely funny lines of the episode. Matthew Perry’s comedic chops as well - and it’s a shame there is much Phoebe and Chandler stuff on the show.

Anyway, the writers originally toyed with making Chandler gay, which I find a shame, I think that would have worked so well. And added some diversity to this really, really non-diverse cast. I completely understand why this makes lists of ‘Things Straight, White, and Loosely Christian People Like’. 25 years later, it’s incredibly glaring. Even Saved by the Bell, which was ending its run at the time, managed to be more diverse.

Ross - I’m curious as to when Ross becomes that one Friend whom everyone hates. He’s recently divorced (from a woman who figured out she was a lesbian) and being really mopey about it (which, you know, is understandable). I don’t particularly like or dislike Ross at the moment.

I will say the whole Ross and Rachel thing is telegraphed from a mile here, and it’s weird that they’re going to drag this romance out for an entire season and a half when he literally asks her out at the end of the episode, and she says yes. Why, why, why is this going to be dragged out so much. (I know the reason - sweeps week - but still.)

Is the episode entertaining? Eh. It still has a lot of the trappings of an 80s sitcom - the annoying laugh track, the forced jokes, the surface level stories - only it’s new and hip because 20-somethings had never had a show to themselves without an older mentor around. At the same time, there isn’t anything that remarkable about any of these 20-somethings, which may or may not have been the point. I suppose we’ll see.

The One With the Sonogram (of Ross’s baby that he’s having with this lesbian ex-wife) at the End

This episode is merely a continuation of all the threads set up in the pilot. You can tell Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe aren’t developed yet, as they really don’t do anything other than crack one-liners at opportune times. I shouldn’t complain that these characters just don’t feel like they’re getting enough time together as a group (because obviously, there are a ton more episodes to go where they are) but I feel like they’re spending too much time in individual plot lines that aren’t that interesting.

Plot A) Ross finds out that his ex-wife (who’s a lesbian) is having his baby (because apparently they did it one more time after she left him? Idk), and he’s not doing so well with that. Idk - I don’t hate this plot line. For being the early 90s, the show is treating being gay with much more respect than pretty much everything before that (even if the idea of lesbians is treated as a joke rather than a serious thing people are). At least the gay stuff isn’t villainized.

Plot B) Rachel gives back the ring to her ex-fiance, whom she finds out was fooling around with her maid of honor. This is the first time we meet Barry, and everything about him screams douchebag. There’s nothing remotely interesting here, and it almost feels obligatory for Rachel’s story. Also - I find it ridiculous that he and Rachel would be having private conversations with a (child) patient there.

Plot C) We meet Monica and Ross’s controlling and judgmental parents who prefer Ross to Monica. While Elliot Gould and Christina Pickles are both fantastic actors - I cannot with the amount of judgy-ness that spews forth, and really can’t wait for them to be the quirkier people they eventually become.

Oh- and I forgot, this show decided for the beginning of season 1 to have these philosophical discussions about the differences between men and women, and I feel like this episode is supposed to loosely tie into that and I kind of roll my eyes and am like -- just be the situational comedy that you’re meant to be.

Is this episode any good? Eh, not really. There are some funnier moments in an otherwise bland and obligatory story.

The One With the Thumb (in a can that Phoebe almost drinks)

This episode is so boring that it’s almost tedious to get through all 22 minutes of it. Here we go!

Plot A) Monica dates a guy named Alan that everyone likes but she doesn’t and she finds it hard to break up with him.

I get what the writers were going with here - that she’d have to tell her friends that they need to ‘break up’ with Alan, despite them all really liking him. Idk - I don’t think the whole schtick is that funny, and feels pointless when we barely get to meet Alan himself.

I do have to note that Monica talks with one of her coworkers - who is the first PoC on the show, a black woman. But we’re never going to see her again, so...?

Plot B) Chandler starts smoking again - and we get a PSA plot line about the dangers of smoking. Friends is rarely going to be a preachy show, and it’s super weird when it is. It’s especially weird that it’s centered around smoking because -- who cares?

Plot C) Phoebe accidentally has good things happen to her. It’s almost like a running joke more than a plot line that ends with her ending up with a thumb in a can that nets her $7000. It’s... just a really dumb sitcom plot line. But, hey, we learn that Phoebe hangs out with homeless people. And, the episode gets a point for tying all three plot lines together at the end.

So... I’ll probably do these three or four at a time. And the first three? Eh, not great. It’s fascinating that this show became such a hit right off the bat - because there’s not anything uniquely interesting about any of these characters yet. And the plot lines are all so generic and/or dumb that there’s little to latch on to.

We’ll see how this goes.

#friends #so watches friends

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bevioletskies · 5 years

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if i could fly

summary: Scott’s freshman year in college is going like pretty much any other - his roommate is a little eccentric, he has a huge crush on the girl sitting next to him in his bioengineering lecture, and he absolutely can’t stand their professor. Meanwhile, Hope is just wondering when she can have a moment for herself, when to tell Scott that she knows and she feels the same way, and when he’s going to realize that she’s Dr. Pym’s daughter.

a/n: Fic title is from the song If I Could Fly by One Direction because I need to stop picking songs from before 1988. Also, this fic is slightly more of a Hope character study than a Scott/Hope fic, but they're still a very central part of the plot!

word count: 8.1k | ao3

The moment that Scott and Hope met was...memorable, to say the least - Scott practically fell right through the doors of the lecture hall, stumbled over his own feet, and stubbed his toe on the back row of seats. Every last person turned to look at him, because on top of everything else, he was ten minutes late (he blamed Luis for convincing him that he “didn’t need an alarm, man!”).

He sheepishly made his way down the stairs, scanning every row for an empty seat, his heart sinking when he realized the entire hall was at full capacity, save for one seat at the very front. He felt decidedly more optimistic once he laid eyes on the girl who would be sitting next to him. “Sorry,” he whispered, sliding past her to sit down. She merely huffed and waved him off. Good start, Scott, he internally berated himself, and cracked open his textbook, quietly wondering if she already thought he was a completely hopeless case. Everyone went back to their own books and laptops, but he could still feel the professor’s eyes trained on him, judging him in stone-faced silence.

It wasn’t until they took a short break between lecture slides that Scott decided to try for a second first impression; if nothing else, he knew it would help to find an accountability partner for each of his classes (and not one who told him he didn’t need to set an alarm, Luis). “Hey, I’m Scott,” he offered.

The girl turned to look at him, allowing for a far better look at her face - mid-length dark hair, inquisitive brows, and a piercing gaze, her eyes similar in their shade of hazel-green to his. “Hope,” she said shortly, turning back to her screen. “Dr. Pym hates latecomers.”

“Yeah, I figured,” he chuckled sheepishly. “You’ve taken a class with him before?”

An odd smirk formed on her face, a quirk in the corner of her mouth that only intrigued him further. “Sure.”

“I read some pretty bad reviews of him, but he’s the only one who teaches some of the 300-level stuff I need. Wanted to get onto his good side early, but now it might be outta the question,” he continued, undeterred. “Any suggestions?”

“I know it’s bioengineering, but it’s not rocket science. Show up on time, do the readings, study for thirty hours a day. You just might scrape by,” she drawled.

“Well, when you put it like that,” Scott said, leaning back in his seat with a grin. “And while you’re giving advice, where’s the best place to study on campus?”

Hope finally looked at him again, her eyes flickering briefly across his face; he felt like he was being evaluated for something, but what, he couldn’t be quite sure. “Main library, third floor, by the windows. I’m usually there on Sunday mornings by ten, since everyone else is still sleeping.”

He met her gaze, his smile spreading. “Good to know.”

Once class was over, Hope remained in her seat until the entire room was empty, save for Dr. Pym at the front, packing up his things. “Any potential takers, or were you too busy batting your eyelashes at the boy sitting beside you?”

Hope rolled her eyes, shutting her laptop with a snap. “Don’t patronize me, Dad, I can have a life outside of your recruitment program. Why don’t you offer internships like every other CEO-slash-professor?”

“Because I’m not like other CEOs-slash-professors,” Hank insisted; Hope had to choke back her laugh at how absurd he sounded. “What, you think I’m going to stick just any random intern in the Ant-Man suit? No!”

She clicked her tongue dismissively, hoisting her bag onto her shoulder, and began making her way up the stairs to the exit. “If you ask me, Scott seems like the best choice.”

“For me, or for you?” he called. All he got in response was the loud clunk of the doors swinging shut.

Hope was not one to be told what to do, and never had been. She’d been a stubborn child, a stubborn teenager, and despite her parents’ best efforts, became a stubborn young adult. Despite Hope’s best efforts, however, she ended up following in their footsteps anyway, contrary to her bouts of teenage rebellion. She’d gone through her phases of wanting to be a veterinarian, a writer, a martial arts instructor, but ultimately found herself right back in the sciences under the loving tutelage of her genius parents. Still, now that she was in college, or more specifically, the college her parents taught at, she refused to tell people they were related. She had no intention of letting people immediately form opinions of her that she didn’t have control of. It didn’t help that Hank was constantly hovering over her shoulder like he didn’t already keep tabs on her phone’s GPS or put sensors in her car (which he didn’t know that she knew about).

“Can you not let our daughter be a normal student without dragging her into another one of your schemes?” Janet had protested when Hank first brought up his recruitment plans. “Just get an intern, Henry!”

Now, Hope sat at her favorite table in the library, drumming her pencil against its surface, considering all the things her father had told her to look for. Someone clever, hardworking, focused, adaptive. She couldn’t help but scoff at the last attribute he’d asked for - in other words, someone who will listen to you no matter what, Hope had wanted to say. Typical. She wasn’t even sure why Hank was looking for a successor, given that he and Janet had retired from their other lives by the time she was sixteen, but she knew questioning him about it would only lead to another eventual shouting match. Nothing made him happier than finding something to be angry about.

“Hey.” She looked up, both startled and pleased to see Scott smiling back at her. “Fancy seeing you here. Mind if I join you?”

She gestured for him to take the chair across from hers. “Please,” she said, finding his grin infectious and returning it with a small one of her own. “Don’t tell me you’re already having trouble with the material.”

“Dr. Pym sure has some different ideas about what a ‘first week’ looks like,” he sighed, unloading what seemed like the entire contents of his book bag onto the table. “The guy’s smart, but someone’s gotta tell him to relax.” Hope’s brow shot up at the offhand comment - maybe it was a strike against Scott for Hank’s purposes, that he wasn’t capable of meeting his demands. For her purposes, however, anyone who was willing to call out her dad’s...quirks was a person worth getting to know.

She reached across the table for his workbook. “May I?” At his nod, she pulled it towards her, scanning across the pages. “For someone who’s complaining, you seem to know what you’re doing.”

“I like learning about this kind of stuff, it’s just his teaching style. Dude’s gotta lighten up,” Scott shrugged, though his cheeks warmed at her sort-of compliment. “Hey, I never asked, what’re you majoring in?”

“Biochem, minor in commerce,” she replied. “You?”

“Engineering,” he said, taking his workbook back from her. “So I guess we won’t see much of each other outside of some general sciences stuff.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” she hummed. They exchanged somewhat shy smiles over the top of her laptop before resuming their work in comfortable, amiable silence.

Later that afternoon, she returned to the family townhouse - situated close to campus, where Hank and Janet (and now Hope) lived while they taught during the fall and spring semesters - with a slight spring in her step, feeling oddly optimistic. Hope had never put too much stock into relationships of any kind, preferring to focus more on herself, but she found Scott charming in a way she wanted to explore further. As for Hank’s intentions -

“Where have you been?”

“Really, Dad? What am I, seven years old?” Hope kicked off her shoes and hung up her jacket in the hall closet, deliberately keeping her back to him. “I was studying at the library, okay? Nothing scandalous.”

“Don’t give me attitude, Hope, it was just a question,” Hank grouched. “You got some time to join me in the lab? I have something to show you.”

“Fine,” she sighed, following him down into the basement suite, which Hank had transformed into a condensed version of his far more advanced laboratory at Pym Technologies. “What’s this about?”

Naturally, he didn’t answer, instead leading her to the back of the room where he kept all of his ant specimens. Hope tapped gently on the glass in greeting, and some of them wriggled their antennae back at her; she smiled, knowing it was really Hank who’d told them to. He then moved to knock on the back wall, a hollow metallic echo resonating back to them. Slowly, it slid open, revealing a glass display case behind it, illuminated so brightly that she could barely make out what was inside.

“Of course you have a secret door - wait, is that...is that a new suit?”

Hope moved closer, all the dry wit in her tone gone, now replaced with wonderment in her eyes as she stared at the unfamiliar suit before her. She could tell by the shape of its chestplate and the width of its hips that it was for a feminine figure, but it didn’t look anything like her mother’s suit. It was a silver-gold unlike Janet’s red; it was sleeker, a little more modern in comparison. She turned to look at her father in disbelief.

Hank smiled. “Congratulations on getting into college, honey.”

Hope let out a quiet gasp, then flung her arms around him, burying her face in his neck. “Dad,” she breathed, tears forming in her eyes. “How long have you been working on this?”

“Long enough,” he said, sounding both world-weary and proud, and he wrapped his arms around her in return. “Hope, that’s why I wanted you to help find my successor. They’re going to be your partner.”

She let go of him and stepped back. “What?”

“I know better than to pick for you,” Hank chuckled, rocking back on his heels. “Made the mistake of trying to tell you which extracurriculars to take when you were younger, and we all know how that turned out. But this is important, Hope. For me, sure, but really, for you.”

She walked back up to the case, splaying her palm open against the glass, still starry-eyed. “Partner,” she repeated.

“So, did you find anyone yet?”

Hope thought back to half an hour ago when she’d left Scott in the library, how easy it had been to work and chat and laugh with him, how she wasn’t quite ready to leave when she did. Then she tried to picture him standing in her father’s lab, the two of them arguing over the schematics of the suit, or the formulas they used, or just anything, really. She internally blanched.

“No, not yet.”

Sunday mornings at the library very quickly became a thing for Hope and Scott, where she stopped being surprised by his arrival (he made a point of promptly being there by ten) and he stopped needing to ask whether he could join her. He soon learned what her coffee order was, too, making a habit of bringing her a drink and a danish or donut, somehow always knowing which one she wanted every single time.

“Good memory,” he had shrugged when she asked him one time how he remembered she’d been craving something cherry-flavored, watching in astonishment as he deposited a small paper bag of a sugar-coated cherry strudel beside her laptop. Her first bite was more satisfying than she expected, trying not to make a show of it while he watched her with a sort of half-smile and a soft twinkle in his eyes.

Even stranger was the first time Hope ever saw Scott outside of the classroom or the library: at the on-campus gym, of all places, circling a punching bag. She took a moment to admire his arms (and silently criticize his footwork) before approaching him. “You really need to work on your form.”

He startled slightly at the sound of her voice, then laughed once he realized it was her. “Yeah, I’m not - I’m more of a runner type of guy, not a boxer. Didn’t know you were here, too.”

“I was over at the weight machines and I thought I saw a familiar face, though more sweaty than I’m used to,” she teased, walking around the bag so they were face-to-face. “I think you could use some advice.”

“You know this stuff?” he asked.

“I’ve been doing martial arts since I was eight,” she replied, shrugging easily.

“Didn’t know that.” He briefly bent to pick up his water bottle and take a long, generous swig; Hope briefly averted her eyes, not wanting to become too fixated on the way his throat moved while he did.

“There are a lot of things you don’t know about me,” she said instead, gesturing for him to follow her over to the mats. She then came to a standstill in the middle, holding up both of her hands so her palms were facing him. “Gloves off. Show me how to punch.”

“I was in - I mean, I know how to punch,” Scott hedged. She narrowed her eyes at his hesitation. Finally, with a sigh, he got into position, then threw a couple of punches, striking her hands half-heartedly.

“Terrible,” she said, lowering her arms, though she kept her tone light.

“You wanna show me how to - ” Scott let out a noise he wasn’t proud of as Hope knocked him right in the chest. He fell head over heels quite literally, stumbling backward over his own feet. “Oh - ”

“You asked.” Hope put her hands on her hips, smirking at Scott’s half-impressed, half-terrified expression. “Come on, back to work.”

After an hour-long impromptu bootcamp, they were both drenched in sweat and sore to the bone, him far more so than her. On their way to their respective locker rooms, Scott decided to strip off his T-shirt entirely, causing several heads to turn their way. He grinned when he noticed Hope keeping her chin a little too high in the air, her eyes practically glued to the ceiling. “What’s up?”

“No one likes a show-off,” she huffed, disappearing into the women’s showers.

The two of them ended up going to a hole-in-the-wall dive that was about a five-minute drive outside of the university campus, the kind of place that Hope admittedly would have never tried herself, having spent her life going to restaurants with more than one crystal chandelier and waiters that had been calling her “ma’am” since she was five. She remembered sitting between her parents, tugging uncomfortably at the runs in her tights, barely able to follow the conversation happening with the executive or researcher or whoever happened to be their plus one for the night who sat across the table from her, occasionally cooing at her like she was a newborn baby. Scott, meanwhile, looked right at home sitting across from her on a scratched-up booth bench that had certainly seen better days, his arm thrown over the back, his other hand drumming out an offbeat rhythm on the table’s surface. There was a quiet confidence to him that she very much envied, the ease in the slump of his shoulders painting a stark contrast to the tightness in hers.

“So what don’t I know about you?”

Hope was taken aback. “What?”

“You said there’s a lot I don’t know about you, and I can’t not ask after you say something like that,” he chuckled. “Like, what made you do martial arts as a kid? Why’re you majoring in science and minoring in business? What classes have you taken with Dr. Pym?”

She winced a little at the last one. “Why do you want to know?” she asked. “Is it because - ”

“Just curious,” he said, holding up his hands defensively. “But if you don’t wanna tell me, it’s cool. I’ve got my secrets, too.”

“Really, because you seem almost too transparent,” she said dryly. She leaned forward to rest her elbows on the table, then regretted it instantly when she realized how sticky it was. “Martial arts is something my parents thought would be important for me to learn, I want to - ” destined to, more like, she thought “ - work at a scientific research company, and Dr. Pym used to do summer workshops for high school students.”

He nodded slowly, absorbing her words, the words that she knew were half-truths at best, lies of omission at worst. Then: “I’ve been learning how to do close-up magic.”

“What,” she repeated, though flatly this time. He leaned in, his face startlingly close to hers, and she felt his fingers briefly brush against her earlobe before he triumphantly brandished a quarter in her face, his grin impossibly wide.

“I guess it’s not really a secret, but I’m getting pretty good at it,” he said, taking her hand and unfurling her fingers so he could press the coin into her palm. His hands were warm, his fingers unusually calloused for someone who supposedly didn’t work with much more than a keyboard. Hope wanted to ask, but she wasn’t even sure what to ask. She hadn’t exactly forgotten his comment earlier, either, whatever he was going to say before failing spectacularly at punching. Maybe his secrets were like hers - not shameful, exactly, just not something he wanted to talk about yet.

“I’m impressed.” She half-closed her hand around his, then leaned back so she felt like she could breathe again. “So is that just for fun, or...”

“You could say that.” He averted his eyes a little too quickly, finally sliding his hand away, back to his side of the table. “I’m still trying to figure out what kinda stuff I’m into, what I wanna do in like, life. I know, I know, it’s the most...typical college student stuff. But that’s what it’s all about, right? Figuring out who we are?”

“Going to the gym on a regular basis is definitely a good place to start,” she mused. “What else have you been doing?”

“Haven’t really had the chance to do much in the last three or so years,” he said mysteriously, resuming his drumming against the table. “And hey, I could use a personal trainer.”

Before Hope could reply, her phone went off. She glanced at Scott apologetically before looking down at her screen, groaning when she realized who it was. “Dad, I’m - no, I’m out right now, I can’t - I’ll be home - Dad, seriously - ”

While she talked, keeping her voice low and her mouth covered, Scott’s gaze wandered off around at the gaudy posters and neon signs, the leaky ceiling and the rusty window panes, before his eyes went back to her. Her hair was still somewhat damp, her brows were knitted together in clear frustration, and he could see the slight chipping of her fingernails, probably from the rough-and-tumble they’d had earlier. Scott wanted to take her hand again, to find some other magic trick or silly excuse that would allow him to do so without weirding her out. That is, he hoped she wasn’t put off by what he knew was his sometimes strangeness, little things and moments of “immaturity”, as his ex had so nicely called it (and it was nice of her, considering some of the things her current boyfriend had to say about him). He turned away when she started to hang up, certain that his face felt just the slightest bit warmer than it had a moment ago.

“Is he expecting you home right now?” Scott asked once she pocketed her phone. “If you have to go - ”

“I’m just fine where I am,” Hope said shortly, though her expression softened once their eyes met again. “What were you saying about a personal trainer?”

“Well, if you’re up to spending more time with me…” He trailed off, looking at her expectantly.

“I guess it couldn’t hurt,” she teased, grinning. Once more, they found themselves exchanging promising glances, barely breaking eye contact, even when their waiter came around with a plastic basket of oily nachos.

“So, I’ve been meaning to tell you something.”

“That doesn’t sound good.”

“It’s not - well.”

They were about two months into the semester, with the weather gradually getting colder and crisper, and classes getting progressively harder and deceptively longer. Scott and Hope were bundled in their thickest coats and walking across campus together, coffee and buttery pastries in hand, on their way to Hank’s class. It had become routine for them, to the point where Scott’s roommate teased them every time she dropped by their dorm.

“Hey, Hope,” Luis would say with a knowing grin. Then he’d turn into the room and call, “Scotty, your girl’s here to walk you to class!”, much to Scott’s embarrassment. Ruddy-cheeked, he would always push past Luis and mutter unintelligibly under his breath, then gesture for Hope to follow him far, far away.

“Luis and I actually knew each other before coming here,” Scott said. Strangely enough, he seemed to be avoiding her eyes. “We, uh, we met in jail?”

Hope stopped in her tracks. “Is that a question?” she said shortly, her breath stuck in her throat, fearing the absolute worst. “What were you in for?”

“Theft,” he admitted. She internally exhaled, though she remained wary. “Few months after graduating high school, my girlfriend got pregnant. I was doing an internship at a security company to save up for college, and then, y’know, the baby. All I saw were these guys in nice suits, bragging about vacation homes, golf scores, the usual. But then I heard ‘em talking about screwing over their customers, skimming money from their accounts. Figured it wouldn’t hurt to steal it back. Got caught, dumped, thrown into prison - in that order. I was let out early on good behavior, but if I wanna meet my daughter, my ex says I gotta prove that I’ve changed.”

Hope fiddled with the sleeve of her coffee cup, wearing away at the thin cardboard until the edges began to fray. “...oh.”

“I just didn’t want you to hear about it from someone else,” Scott continued, shooting her a strained smile. “I wanna be there for my daughter, I wanna be a good person. Honest, reliable...all that.”

She cleared her throat, giving him a small smile of her own. “What’s her name?”

“Cassie,” he said quietly.

“That’s a pretty name.” Her eyes dropped to the lid of her coffee cup for a moment, contemplating. “From what I can tell, Scott, you’re already honest. You just need more focus. Once your ex sees that, how badly you want to see Cassie...it’ll happen.”

“I sure hope so,” he said, his eyes softening. “Thanks for, uh, for hearing me out.”

She nodded. “Of course.”

Hank’s class was the usual long-winded lecture, filled with convoluted definitions and complex equations. Near the end, he handed back one of their reports before dismissing them. Hope immediately had to stash hers in her bag the moment she laid eyes on it, realizing he’d written excellent work, proud of you at the top of the front page, right next to her A-grade. Hank had never been one to express sentiment through writing (Janet had once shown Hope the love letters he’d written to her when they were young; they both had a good laugh at his earnest, but ultimately poor attempts), and it made her tear up a little at the last three words. Still, she didn’t want Scott to see. Scott looked confused at her erratic behavior, but merely grinned his easygoing grin and said his goodbyes, once again leaving her alone in the lecture hall with Hank.

“You’re getting pretty close to Lang, aren’t you?” he commented, eyeing her knowingly.

“We’re friends,” she replied tightly. “You don’t have to punish him for whatever imaginary rivalry you’ve got going in your head, by the way. I’ve seen the marks you’ve given him. He’s smarter than you literally give him credit for.”

“You know, I just can’t tell if you want him to be your partner or not,” Hank scoffed. “You’ve told me about his many supposed good qualities - his intelligence, memory, agility - and yet you also tell me you haven’t found anyone - ”

“I just haven’t, okay?” Hope interrupted. “Just - Dad, can you please just let me live my life, separate from yours?”

“Then why did you enroll in the very school that your mother and I work at? Why didn’t you go clear across the country like every other teenager?” Hank retorted, folding his arms across his chest.

“Sometimes, I really don’t know.” With that, Hope turned and stormed out of the lecture hall in a huff, some of her residual childish temper still lingering inside. Hank stood there, staring after her with the same fire in his eyes, simultaneously loving and hating the fact that she’d turned out to be a little too much like him.

Hope found herself spending more time in the gym or Scott’s dorm room than her family’s townhouse as the semester dragged on, avoiding her father’s stern looks and her mother’s placating smiles. She knew she was being immature about the whole ordeal, but it was hard not to feel stifled and cornered into bursts of anger when it seemed like they were constantly sitting on her shoulders. Something about seeing all the other college students going around campus, getting to truly be themselves for the first time, made her burn with a quiet envy she didn’t realize she had.

“I know it sounds like the dumbest thing to complain about, but I’m so sick of my parents always...being there,” Hope admitted one afternoon while she and Scott were sprawled across his tiny bedroom floor, lazily making their way through their homework. After he’d opened up about his time in jail, she wanted to return the favor and tell him more about herself, though she still tried to keep it as vague as possible. “It’s not like I want them gone or anything, but sometimes I wish it was like when I was little, and they’d go on business trips out of the blue. I’d be at home with a sitter for weeks at a time, wondering if they’d ever come back. Now, I...almost want that distance again. Just enough so I don’t feel like I have to live up to something.”

Scott hummed thoughtfully, his head tilted in a way she somehow found more charming than cloying. “Have you told them how you feel? I’m sure they’d wanna know if they were pressuring you, they sound like good parents.”

“If you knew them, you’d know it isn’t that simple,” she sighed.

“Can I? Meet them, I mean,” he added.

She quirked an eyebrow. “And...why do you want to meet my parents, exactly?” Scott could only look at her dumbfoundedly, as if he’d just realized the weight of what he was asking for. Hope smiled, shuffling closer to rest her elbows on top of his knees, her bright-eyed gaze meeting his. “Is it because - ”

Scott kissed her before she could finish her sentence. She let out a startled noise before returning the kiss, pleased that she hadn’t been imagining things, that it wasn’t just her wishful thinking that he’d been offhandedly flirting with her for the past few months.

Knock knock. “Hey, Scotty - ” before either of them had time to react, the door swung open to reveal Luis standing there with a plastic bag overloaded with takeout containers “ - whoa, what’s going on?”

Scott broke the kiss first, shooting her a faux-stern look. “Really, Hope? I thought we were here to study and then you go around kissing me like that, honestly - ”

“You are so full of shit, Scott,” she retorted without missing a beat, half-sighing and half-laughing in exasperation. She moved to gather up her things from around the room, pointedly keeping her back to Luis, who was snickering behind his hand. “I should get going, I promised my mom I’d hang out with her tonight.”

“Wait, I’ll walk you out,” Scott called as she swept past him. He got to his feet and grabbed his room key, then turned to fix Luis with a pointed stare. “Dude.” Luis merely shrugged, chuckling, and sat down at his desk like nothing had happened.

“I mean it, I have to get going,” Hope said, though she was still waiting for Scott while he closed the door behind him. “Mom’s probably waiting for me.”

“Sorry about, y’know, him,” Scott said, jabbing his thumb over his shoulder. The two of them quickly fell into step like they always did, walking down the hall to the building doors. “I meant it, though. I haven’t really had a relationship with my parents since I got sent to jail, so...it’d be cool to meet yours. And…‘cos of the other thing.”

“Someday,” she hummed noncommittally. “And the ‘other thing’? I’m not sure what you mean. I thought we were here to study.”

“Now who’s full of it?” he grinned, coming to a stop right in front of the exit. He leaned in, his nose brushing against hers; she was the one to close the gap this time. “Have a good time with your mom.”

“Have a good time with your...Luis,” Hope said, smirking in the way he adored, and she disappeared through the doors. Scott stood there for a moment longer just to chuckle to himself, shaking his head in awe, before returning to his room.

Once Hope returned home, she quickly changed into her workout clothes and went down into the other half of the basement suite - the makeshift gym - to find Janet already there, working with the speed bag. It was one of their rare nights alone together since Hank was doing a talk at a conference two towns over. According to a string of text messages he’d sent them both, it was ‘one of the most inane things’ he’d ever done and reportedly made him miss the days of endless bureaucratic SHIELD meetings. “Sorry I’m late,” Hope said by way of greeting.

“That’s alright. You have a good time with Scott?” Janet asked, stopping to grin at her daughter.

“Don’t,” Hope sighed. “I already get enough of that from Dad, I don’t need to hear it from you.”

“Speaking of your father...I told him to stop asking you about that whole partner thing, and...he agreed.” Janet nodded at Hope’s surprised expression. “You don’t need that going on during your very first semester of college. You’ve already got plenty to worry about.”

Hope smiled gratefully. “Thanks, Mom. I don’t want you guys to think I don’t want this, you know I’ve been wanting my own suit my entire life. But...this isn’t just something I can ask of someone out of nowhere. And I need someone who can be my partner, not his. I need time.”

“I know, jellybean,” Janet said, her voice soft. “Even then...you just focus on yourself, alright?”

“Easier said than done,” Hope sighed. “Maybe Dad’s right. Maybe I should’ve just gone to school somewhere else. Make my life my own for a little while instead of getting angry at you both for...well, for being good parents.”

“Oh, Hope…” Janet removed her gloves entirely so she could properly wrap her arms around her daughter, bringing her in for a tight hug. “We are so proud of you already, you have to know that. We don’t need you to be perfect, we just need you to be yourself. And if you need some space so you can do that, take it, okay? No matter what your father says.”

“You know he wouldn’t like it if I left,” Hope chuckled, burrowing her face into Janet’s shoulder. “Both of you would be calling me every single day.”

“We would, wouldn’t we?” Janet chuckled. “But seriously, jellybean, promise me you won’t be worrying about what we think. Let it be about you.”

Hope’s smile broadened, and she stepped back to meet her mother’s gaze, bright and wise and warm. “Thank you,” she said quietly. “I will.”

Another week went by, then two, then a few more, and suddenly, it was the day before Scott and Hope’s last final, which happened to be for Hank’s class. They were studying in the library, occasionally looking up to exchange warm smiles before returning to their notes, Scott playfully nudging Hope’s foot underneath the table every now and then, basking in the comfortable silence.

Then: “So, my ex called today.”

Once again, Hope found herself caught by surprise. “Oh?”

“We made a deal,” Scott continued, flipping the page of his textbook, making a point of not lifting his head to meet Hope’s steely-eyed gaze. “If I get at least Bs in all my classes and get a job or an internship or something in the next six months, I can see Cassie as often as I want.”

“That sounds reasonable. You’re getting As in all of your classes, Scott,” she pointed out.

“Yeah, but it’s the job thing I’m worried about. You know how hard it is for ex-cons to find work? Especially for a guy who got jail time for messing with his last workplace?” He sighed, running his fingers through his hair. “I wanna be responsible, I wanna be there for her, but...I’m basically screwed.”

Hope chewed her bottom lip in deep thought, guilt beginning to settle a little too comfortably in the pit of her stomach. The solution was right there, right in front of her face, while Scott was completely unaware there even was a solution to be had. Part of her wanted to be selfish, to keep Scott to herself, to not let her parents take over yet another aspect of her life. All she could think about was Scott’s irritation with Hank’s personality and Hank’s vitriol for Scott’s...existence. At the same time, considering how things were going, the tip-toeing progression of their relationship that was moving (in her opinion) at just the right pace, he was going to find out eventually, wasn’t he?

“I can get you a position at Pym Technologies,” she finally said, closing her laptop so she could look him straight in the eye. “When can you start?”

“Wait, what? How? Dr. Pym didn’t say anything about internships - ”

“Neither did I. And he’s been looking for a while now, he just didn’t want people to know.”

Scott’s brow furrowed further. “Then...how did you find out about it?”

Hope sucked her breath in between her teeth. “I’m his daughter.”

Scott’s mouth almost comically dropped open, gaping at her like a fish. Just as quickly, his jaw then clicked shut, clenching tight. Hope had never seen his eyes grow so cold; she shivered. “Hope.”

“Scott, I - ”

“Hope,” he repeated. “Come on, why didn’t you tell me? All semester, I’ve been talking so much crap about Dr. Pym, and this whole time you’ve been listening to me, and, and...and lying to me?” She glanced briefly over his shoulder to see students at the other tables beginning to turn and stare at them, but he didn’t seem to notice.

“I know it was wrong, okay, and for that, I’m sorry,” she said quietly. “But...you have to know why I did it, Scott. I’ve spent my whole life being told that my parents are geniuses, and that I have to live up to those expectations and be one myself. I have to be well-rounded but focused, social but disciplined, all these...things that eventually became too much for me. I’m better at balancing all those things now, but I still wanted just one thing to be my own, and...I wanted it to be you. I didn’t want you to think anything of me because of them, but...I guess I was the only one who didn’t think this through. It was selfish. I was selfish.”

“No, it’s not - ” Scott inhaled sharply, then reached across the table to take her hand and give it a brief squeeze. “ - it’s not selfish, I mean, I get it. I didn’t want you to know about my criminal past for sort of the same reason. First impressions, right? Having all these ideas about a person before you actually get to know them.” He smiled in the sort of crooked way that made her let go of the breath she didn’t realize she was still holding. “So uh, were you serious about that Pym Tech internship thing?”

Hope chuckled, simultaneously burnt out from worry and relieved by Scott’s easygoing acceptance. “Just like that, huh?”

“Sure,” he shrugged. “And at least it explains why Dr. Pym seems to side-eye me more than anyone else. I didn’t think I was doing that bad.”

She smiled, her shoulders finally relaxing, and glanced down briefly to their still-intertwined fingers. “It might be a little more...involved than you might expect, but I think you can handle it. Also, I never said it was an internship.”

Hank’s final went about as smoothly as expected, which was to say it didn’t go smoothly at all. The problem wasn’t the test itself; both Hope and Scott were diligent students with a good understanding of the material, but there was a tension in the lecture hall that hadn’t existed before. Scott took one look at Hank, now having mentally labelled him as Hope’s father, and it made him more nervous than the essay questions ever would.

“Something wrong, Lang? Your eye is twitching,” Hank observed while he distributed the test papers.

Scott gave him an awkward double thumbs-up. “All good here.” His voice was at least an octave higher than its usual pitch. Hope held back her usual eye-roll.

After their exam was over, Scott went back to his dorm room to sleep off his post-finals week exhaustion, but not before giving Hope a brief kiss while Hank was packing up his bag. “Hey, good luck,” he murmured. “You got this.”

Hope squeezed his arm in return, enjoying the fact that she didn’t even have to turn her head to know what Hank’s expression looked like. “I know I do,” she replied quietly, smirking.

The car ride back to their townhouse was silent - for once, Hope had allowed Hank to drive her to and from class instead of taking her own car - save for the college radio station, where the monotonous host droned on about the last stretch of the semester. It was only when they arrived that Hank wordlessly gestured for her to follow him into the basement laboratory. She winced in anticipation of what was to come.

Hank opened the secret wall once more, calling the display case forward, and Hope went to stand by his side. It took her a moment to realize there was another mannequin on the other side of the glass, this one donning a masculine suit with similar design lines and detailing to match hers, but rendered in her father’s preferred red-and-black color scheme. Goosebumps went up her arms as she stepped closer, the glass sliding open so she could gently run the tips of her fingers across the material of her own suit. It was then that she could truly feel how solid it was, how real her childhood fantasy had become. “So...what do you think?”

She turned to look at him. “They look amazing, Dad. But I really need to talk to you about something.”

“So do I,” Hank sighed, sinking down into his chair. “Hope, I...realize that I may have been pushy about you finding someone to work with. I know we’re not exactly on the same page about the progress of your...let’s call it your career, shall we?”

Hope smiled. “Let’s. And I know that you and Mom mean well, and I don’t want you thinking I’m not grateful for everything you guys have done for me. But...I don’t want to end up resenting you both for making my life fit into yours.”

“We just want what’s best for you, Hope,” Hank protested. “And you’ve proven yourself over and over again. It’s why I made the suit.”

“I get that.” She sat down in the chair opposite him, reaching across to rest her hand on his knee. “I’d just like it if my life was my own sometimes, or else I’m going to be left wanting. Wondering what it could be like.”

He went silent for a moment, contemplating. Then, he placed his hand over hers. “You know I’m no good at this kind of thing,” he said gruffly. “But tell me what we can do.”

“Trust me?” It came out more of a question than a statement. She cleared her throat. “And I mean really trust me to make my own choices.”

“I do,” Hank said automatically. When Hope fixed him with a look, he also coughed, leaning back into his seat. “More than you think. And if this is about your taste in partners - ”

“ - I don’t need to explain myself to you,” she interrupted, her voice hard. “I’m not a child anymore, Dad. If I bring him here to put on the suit and train with me, I need you to respect him and our relationship.”

He held up his hands in defeat. “Alright, alright, I hear you. But I’m glad to hear you’ve made your decision.”

“I wanted to keep him away from you,” she admitted, finally withdrawing her hand. “I wanted my college experience to be just like anyone else’s, and I didn’t want to pull him into our world when he’s been one of the most normal things about my world that I’ve ever had. But I would’ve just been delaying the inevitable, and...I really want to put on that suit.”

Hank laughed, getting to his feet and gesturing for her to follow. “I know you do. Why do you think I’ve been working on it for so long?” Hope smiled, standing as well and moving to wrap her arms around him. He hugged her in return, pressing a kiss into her forehead. “You’re really running things around here these days, aren’t you? Just like your mother. Too damn clever and stubborn for your own good.”

“Always,” Hope replied, grinning.

“Is the blindfold really necessary? I feel like I’m gonna trip.” As if on cue, Scott’s foot slipped out from under him; Hope caught him by the waist before he could fall any further.

“Dad’s the kind of paranoid who thinks the neighbors steal our mail, do you really think he’d be okay with you entering his lab without one?” she drawled, straightening him up. “Just a few more steps.”

Once they reached the bottom, Hope briefly let go to type in the code on the door’s keypad, her heart thumping wildly against her ribcage with anticipation. The door slid open to reveal Hank and Janet sitting by one of the worktables, poring over blueprints for a new model of the quantum tunnel. They both looked up at the sound of Scott and Hope’s footsteps.

Hope helped Scott remove his blindfold, watching him blink blearily into the light, squinting, before his eyes landed on her parents. He blanched slightly. “Dr. Pym...Miss Van Dyne, it’s so nice to meet you.” He held out his hand to shake, though he nearly tripped over his own feet in doing so. Hope nudged him upright with her shoulder. “Hope talks about you all the time.”

“All good things, I assume,” Janet beamed, getting to her feet so she could return the gesture. “She’s briefed you on what’s going on around here, right?”

“NDA and all,” Scott said, laughing awkwardly. “I also read up about you guys after she told me. Really impressive stuff.”

“I hope it wasn’t just my reviews on that professor rating website,” Hank grouched, though he motioned for them to join him at the display case, which had remained in full view since his conversation with Hope from a few days ago. It was the weekend after exam week was over, and the Pym-Van Dynes had spent the last couple of days mulling over Hope’s decision, weighing the pros and cons of bringing, in Hank’s words, an “inexperienced civilian” into their fold, eventually agreeing that a quick background check, typical of any normal employer, would do the job (Hope drew the line at trying to contact his family as references, though; she got the impression that his parents would have nothing but thinly-veiled insults to offer). Scott had spent the last couple of days sleeping.

“Oh, wow…” Scott was speechless as he approached the glass, his starry-eyed expression reminiscent of Hope’s. “This is so cool. It’s like a, a motorcycle suit or something.”

“It’s not - ” Hank cut himself off with a huff. “It’s for you, Scott.”

“Really?” Scott turned to look at Hank. “Can I try it on?”

“Not yet, we have to measure you and make some adjustments,” Janet piped up, pointing toward a small platform for him to stand on. “Do you mind?”

“Not at all,” Scott grinned, hopping up with all the enthusiasm of a child getting to try on their Halloween costume for the first time. Janet went to grab her measuring tape and tablet, while Hope smiled up at Scott, the discomfort in her stomach slowly ebbing away. Hank still looked as sour as ever, but Hope spotted a twitch in the corner of his mouth that suggested maybe, just maybe, this was going to work.

A few hours later, after Hank and Janet had rattled through what Hank called the introductory course to, among other things, Pym Particles and the Ant-Man suit, Scott and Hope sat on the living room couch together, watching a movie, while they waited for her parents to finish preparing dinner for the four of them.

Hope soon noticed Scott seemed to be sending off a series of texts, though she bit her tongue before her curiosity could get the best of her. “Thank you,” she murmured instead, gently prodding his leg with her toe.

“Of course,” he said, immediately pocketing his phone. He turned to fully face her and propped his elbow up on the back of the couch, tilting his head down somewhat so their foreheads brushed. “Hey, this is the coolest thing that’s ever happened to me. This is gonna be awesome.”

“I’m glad it’s that simple for you,” she replied, mirroring his movements; their elbows met in the middle. “It’s going to be a lot of work, Scott.”

“I know,” he shrugged. “But it feels like the right thing to do. I really needed this, after all the crap that’s gone wrong in my life. A chance to prove myself.”

“You’ll have plenty,” she promised. Then, she couldn’t help herself, finding her gaze flickering to his phone; she could see its screen lighting up over and over again, silently chiming in with more notifications. “What’s going on there?”

“Maggie, my ex,” Scott said, sitting up so he could pull it out of his pocket. “I told her I got a job, she’s been bugging me with questions ever since. Told her I’d tell her more later, once your dad gets me up to speed on what I can and can’t tell people.” His grin broadened. “She did send me a couple pictures of Cassie, though. Wanna see?”

Hope nodded almost shyly, her heart melting when Scott turned the screen in her direction. “Oh, Scott, she’s adorable.” It was a series of photos of a little three-year-old girl in a high chair with the biggest, roundest brown eyes Hope had ever seen, grinning toothily at the camera, the majority of her face covered in chocolate cake. “It’s a good reminder - you’re doing this for her.”

“And for me,” he added, tucking his phone away. “And...a little bit for you.”

“Is that so?” she teased, leaning in closer once more. “Just a little bit?”

“Teeny...tiny...ant-sized bit,” Scott whispered, bringing his mouth to hers. Hope groaned, though both of them shook a little with silent laughter as she pulled him in closer, winding her arms around him until their legs were fully intertwined, him pressing her into the couch. Much to Hank’s chagrin, she barely moved to break the kiss when he entered the room and cleared his throat.

“When you two are finished, dinner’s ready,” he said tightly, then turned on his heel and walked right back into the dining room. Hope finally pulled away so she could laugh into Scott’s shoulder, delighting in how pink his face had gotten (though he didn’t look too ashamed of himself, either). Yes, it was more than a maybe; things were going to be just fine.

a/n: I love a good ol' college AU, and getting to do some character exploration of what Hope would be like if her parents were around for her entire adolesence was pretty interesting! And, of course, writing overly-confident, kinda-awkward flirting between these two is one of my favorite things about the Scott/Hope dynamic. I think I'm starting to get the hang of the Ant-fam's characterization?

Thanks so much for reading, likes and reblogs would be much appreciated, and I hope you enjoyed :)

#langdyne #scotthope #hopescott #langdyne fic #scotthope fic #myfic #marvel #surprise i guess?#i wrote this one super fast #and honestly i've been in far more of a langdyne mood lately #(and also carol/valkyrie but i'm not sure what to write for it yet)#(and i will get back to ATU i promise!!)

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