#i also wasn't creative enough to give him a new more fitting name for a deity

[octuscle]

I want to turn myself into a twinky fuck toy for a wealthy man. Can chronviac help me with that?

Well, as they say, everything's bigger in Texas… I'm a junior partner in a large New York asset management firm. We take care of the high net worth clients. To get into our client file, you have to have over USD 100 million in free liquidity. Our clients are demanding. But we are the best. And we do everything for our customers. Really EVERYTHING!

When I took over the clients of a colleague who had retired a month ago, I thought Chuck Tex was a stage name. Until I had my first appointment with him. His record was more than impressive. Heir to old oil and cattle nobility. Classic career of the Texas oil barons. School in New England, studied in Paris, Oxford and Zurich, founded his first start-up company at the age of 20. And sold at 25 for USD 500 million. Now in his mid-30s, he had not yet inherited a cent from his family, but thanks to his excellent education and connections, he had already amassed a fortune on a par with that of his old man. I expected… Actually, I had no idea what I was expecting… But I certainly didn't expect this:

Chuck looked like a porn star. Or a marriage fraud. Or just like a man who I couldn't wait to throw me on the bed and fuck me mercilessly. His handshake was firm, but finely dosed just before the pain threshold. His gaze could certainly cut through steel plates. But I was a professional, I kept my composure. After I asked him what I could do for him, he got straight to the point. First of all, he needed some cash for his stay in New York. USD 10,000 would be enough. Gladly 100 dollar bills. But hot off the press, please. That was no problem. I sent a short memo to my assistant and she would take care of it. But the real reason for his visit was a project in Greenwich Village. He had bought a few buildings there that he was renovating. His aim was to restore the Village to its former charm. That's why he wanted to create cheap apartments, studios and stores and eliminate expensive office space. The whole thing was not intended as an investment, more as a hobby. A kind of gay and creative Disneyland. I briefly wondered why I wasn't actually a billionaire… And then I asked Chuck what my role was. Whether I could help with the financing or with saving taxes.

Chuck just grinned. No, saving taxes wouldn't fit in with his understanding of patriotism. And he would have financed it all with his last start-up exit. But he would need someone to take care of the real estate. Someone to ensure the right tenant mix. Someone to give his studio apartment the right finishing touches. I briefly went through my network in my mind. I had a gay acquaintance who owned a number of bars and restaurants. And I also knew a good project developer. And one of my school friends was a hip interior designer. I smiled and said I probably had just the people he needed. Chuck smiled back. It made my heart stop. He didn't want anyone from my network. He wanted me. I was about to say that I was flattered, but that I wasn't available for such projects right now. But instead I said "Of course, Daddy". Did I want to accompany him to the construction site? "If I may, Daddy!" At that moment, my assistant came in with a bundle of freshly pressed banknotes. Chuck smiled and said he needed me for the rest of the day. Please cancel all my appointments. I nodded to her and followed Chuck like a dog to its master.

In his limousine, Chuck asked me if I had ever been to Texas. I answered in the negative. But the boots I was wearing looked authentic. Yeah, they were my pride and joy. But I wouldn't have ridden a bull yet. I shook my head and giggled like a schoolgirl. Chuck kneaded the bulge in his pants and said that I would definitely be fucked by a bull today. I only got out a "Thank you, Daddy". Chuck let me sit on his lap. He undid another button of his silk shirt and exposed his right nipple. Like a puppy on its mother's teat, I began to suckle. Chuck kneaded my bulge and said that I was a good boy.

The car came to a halt in the second row in front of an old brick building. The walls were covered in high-quality graffiti. There was a closed table dance bar downstairs and some kind of jewelry store upstairs. Some kind of jewelry on display. Made of stainless steel. On closer inspection, piercing jewelry, cock rings and stainless steel dildos. I looked in the shop window like a child in the window of a candy store. Chuck took my hand, pulled me into the stairwell and told me that I could choose something later if I was good. He stroked the long hair on the back of my neck. I love my Mullet. I look a bit like the young cowboys on Daddy's Daddy's farm.

We had just arrived at Chuck's empty apartment when I got down on my knees in front of him and unbuttoned his pants. "First you strip for me, boy," Chuck ordered. He tossed me a cowboy hat that was in a closet. "Everything but your briefs, boots and hat!". Eagerly awaiting the reward, I did everything I was told to do. "And now lube yourself up". He threw me a bottle. And I did as I was told. I could feel my hard-earned muscles disappearing. I felt younger and younger. Although it was hard as steel, my cock was getting smaller and smaller. "I think you need a little more decoration, boy," Chuck said and put a chain on me. Satisfied, he looked at me as I sat on the floor and could hardly wait for my reward.

Chuck took his boner out of his pants. And I leaned back in anticipation. I wanted to be a good houseboy. And today was the housewarming party.

Chuck's pic found @mensuited, yours @hellishin

[fizzy-fuzz]

hello! I've been reading your SCP work and saw you add OM to your writing list.

Can I please get Lucifer with an adoptive teen reader? Sibling relationship please

AN: I wasn't sure what you wanted as far as like headcanons or oneshots go, So I just went with a short oneshot because that's what I'm most comfortable with writing. Hope you don't mind!

I took some creative liberties with the plot, since your request kinda left it open. I also left the age non-specific, except implying that the reader is a teenager... I may have gotten carried away, soft big brother Lucifer incoming.

TW: slight angst

Different yet the same... (Lucifer & Adoptive teen sibling reader)

Your shoes thud softly against the ground in the carpeted halls in the house of lamination. Your pace is slowed though you already have your destination in mind; Lucifer study. Your sure he's in there, he always is during the afternoon. Often doing paperwork assigned to him by diavolo that day.

This routine isn't unusual for you. The house gets too rambunctious, so you seek the tranquility and comfort of the eldests workspace.

It's the arguably quietest place in the house. with spells and enchants to make sure that the only thing heard within the space is the gently thrum of whatever cursed vinyl Lucifer happens to fancy that day.

Lucifer never seemed to care if you were there as long as you were quiet and didn't disrupt his work.

Yes, this isn't unusual for you... Yet today the circumstances for your visit are different.

The house isn't bustling. in fact, this is the most calm it's been in awhile: Mammon Is out gambling with the money he made from modeling, Levi is holed up in his room playing some new video game that just came out, Satan is out reading in a newly built library, Asmo is clubbing with Solomon, Beel is out at an all you can eat buffet, And belphie is napping in the planetarium.

You pause your thoughts when you make it to the grand mahogany door that holds Lucifer and his office behind it. Hand raising to knock on the door but falling short and stopping just before it makes contact.

Does he even want you in there? Maybe this whole time he hasn't, and is just too polite to tell you off.

Part of you realizes that that sentence sounds ridiculous. Lucifer never has a problem telling his siblings to leave him alone when he needs private time...

But you're not really his sibling, are you?

They're all so close to each other... They fought together, fell together, and survived together when devildom refused to accept them.

Your hand that was hovering just before the office door drops to your side, and you turn around the glance at the mirrors lining the hallway behind you. If you look hard enough, you can still picture the beautiful and pristine white of your wings.

.....

It was a few dumb decisions that got you banished from the celestial realm and made you fall from grace.

You were growing weary with the standards you had to constantly upkeep. The realm values excellence over anything, and they won't settle for any less. Angelic voices always ringing in your ears pushing you to be something you weren't; perfection.

It was that same weariness that blossomed into intrigue when you first heard the name 'Lucifer' be uttered. His name was always spoken with a hushed voice, as if he was some sort of deadly curse.

And when you begin poking around for more information about him you were quickly shut down...

Until you spoke to Simeon about it. Simeon had always been one of the most relaxed and understanding of all of the angels. And because he was so well liked and respected they let it slide.

So when you spoke to him about your curiosity, he was happy to divulge as much as he saw fit for your younger mind. Contrary to every other angel you talked to, he spoke about Lucifer with high regards. Often speaking about how kind and giving the morning star was, and still is, even if he doesn't always show it.

When you asked what happened to him he told you the truth. He fell from grace along with six other angels he was closest with. Though simeon told you he wasn't allowed to speak of why they fell from grace, he did however give you a key to access the vaults that held files on what you were looking for.

That's when you first began properly learning about the great celestial war.

It dazzled you're young mind, the thought of seven angels taking on the entirety of the celestial realm with such bravery. And although you weren't about to try and start a rebellion like Lucifer did, seeing him fight for what he thought was right encouraged you to begin declining the high expectations of the realm.

Everyday when you got free time, you would sneak back off to the vault to read more on the rebellion and war, while sneaking conversations with simeon in between.

It kept you content...

Until one day, you made the mistake of getting too comfortable and sloppy while sneaking off. Unfortunately, you were blissfully unaware of the fact that you had been spotted and were being followed the whole time.

It's safe to say the higher ups weren't pleased...

So they gave you two choses:

Stay and be held on trial for treason. Which who knows what would happen after you were inevitably found guilty.

Or be stripped of your grace and be banished to devildom...

You choose the latter...

So you fell...

And fell...

And fell some more...

Devildom was beautiful, and it's Prince was nothing short of gracious. A far cry from the pompous aristocrats of the celestial realm, and of course diavolo knew just where to stick you. Where else if not with the demon brothers? Considering your circumstance, you should get along swimmingly.

Yeah, no... it's safe to say they were not happy about the idea of a freshly fallen angel teenager stuck living with them. For the first couple of months they either avoided you like the plague, or were confrontational.

All but one... Lucifer.

He wasn't peachy with you, but he held an air of understanding with your situation. He allowed you to express your woes, and offered a guiding hand when you seemed stuck.

Eventually all of the brothers warmed up to you, and came to view you as their eighth sibling. Though you always had a hard time feeling like you fit...

.....

"I can see you standing out there, Y/n. Come in." Lucifer startles you out of your thoughts as he calls out to you from behind the door.

You grip the door handle and open the heavy wooden door. It squeaks on it's hinges, the sound normally doesn't bug you, but today it makes your anxiety spike. You look up from the ground and see Lucifer at his desk writing away at some paperwork, he raises his none occupied hand and gestures for you to have a seat on the leather chair off to the side in the room.

As you scuttle over and plant yourself in the chair, you fidget nervously with your hands. The room is quiet, too quiet. The only thing heard is the scratching of Lucifers quill against the paper.

"I take it you'd like to talk? You seem tense" Though he acknowledges you verbally, he continues to work on his paperwork. Despite this you know you have his full attention.

"I guess?.. I'm really not sure." you shuffle around in your seat to get comfortable. He hums in thought.

Maybe you should've just gone to your room and dealt with your feelings yourself... He seems so busy, he shouldn't have to deal with your self-consciousness.

"tell me what's on your mind, Y/n..."

His voice has that certain tone to it, the closest it gets to 'soft'. You feel your self doubt fade away slightly... So you decide to spill your guts.

"I guess I've just been feeling a little out of place lately? Like I don't really fit in anywhere in the family..." Your voice falls to a hesitant whisper at the end.

Lucifers writing halts but he doesn't look at you yet. It feels like he already knows where this conversation is going. A light sigh falls from his mouth.

"elaborate."

You pause and think about how you want to respond. the topic is uncomfortable for you to approach, but it weighs heavy on your shoulders, so it's better to talk about it then let yourself stew...

"it's just... the seven of you are so close, you've been together for your entire life. You guys didn't even know me when I was still in the celestial realm, I was kinda just placed here after i fell from grace because there was nowhere else for me to go..." You pause for a moment and look to the ground, avoiding Lucifers gaze. "I feel like I don't belong..."

There's a silence that falls over the room as you finish your rant, only thing heard is your shuddery breathing and the scuff of Lucifers chair being pushed away from his desk. You hear here the sound of his dress shoes approach you, but you don't look up from the ground. Scared you'll meet his gaze and be ment with a lecture about how you need to be more secure with yourself.

You fidget a bit more when he stops in front of you, his shoes now in your vision as you continue to avoid looking at him properly. Two gloved fingers swoop into your view as well when he gently places them under your chin, tilting your head up carefully.

When you meet his gaze, your surprised to see his eyes half lidded with sympathy and understanding. His other hand coming up to gently run through your hair to clear it from you face, before falling to rest your shoulder in a grounding grip.

You both stay silent for a short while, before Lucifer speaks.

"how long have you felt like this?" His words are simple, but encourage you to delve deeper into your feelings.

"For awhile... I have a hard time feeling like I'm even slightly related to you guys sometimes" to your surprised, a light laugh falls from Lucifers mouth at this.

"none of us are related by blood, When has that ever made a difference?"

"that's not what I mean... Not biologically, more like our experiences feel so different, and you're all so close in age... I don't know" Lucifers gaze grows serious as he addresses you with a firm tone.

"Y/n, I know we don't always express it, but we all cherish you greatly. We may not share the same experiences, but we're still cut from the same cloth... We're family, Y/n" he pauses for a moment and sighs. "Why didn't you come to me if this was bothering you? We could've spoken about it sooner"

You gently push his hand away and he backs up to allow you to stand. Once standing, you hug your arms close to your body and shift your weight around nervously.

"it shouldn't be your job to deal with my emotions, you already have enough to deal with-" he quickly cuts you off.

"as your eldest brother it is my job to help you through things like this, my duties come second always. Y/n, you can always rely on me."

his firm response leaves no room for argument, and with his unusual sentiment, a dam breaks in you.

You take a few steps towards him and hug him close, sniffling lightly.

"I love you, Lucifer..."

His hands hover for a second, before gently pulling you closer.

"I love you too, Y/n"

[thevoilinauttheory]

If They Were a Deity | Liliah’to

( Thank you so much for the tag @hadriandemara-ffxiv​!! I had so much fun doing this version, and I appreciate you giving me the chance to do so! I’ve done something like this for: Maximiloix, Danny, Amosis, and M’nhea! You’d think that my next endevor would be Lothaire, but honestly, Lothaire would make a shitty deity. And I need to get word of Liliah’to out again, so where to start but here~ ) ( I am also tagging: @renofmanyalts​ to do one for Maati; as well as @jasleh​, @munchix-home-cooking​, @astralyehga​, @ahlis-xiv​, @egrine​, @mathemagiks​ for Scrap!, and @ever-searching​ for Storm! )

Deity of: Culinarians, food and brews, traveling merchants, happiness, optimism, and healing through magic and medicine

Associated with: long winding paths, forks in roads; dirt, gravel, cobblestone; wind and water, foraging, cornucopias, river stones, wild game, laughter, smiles, homeopathic remedies, building from scratch, house brews, meal-time, cooking, restaurants 

Sacred plants: Dandelions, Lavender, Sunflowers; any fresh herb or vegetable is sacred to him. These flowers are often left on altars as offerings, but the best offering is to create something out of them - flower crowns, tea, oil, soaps, salads - as long as it’s made with hand and love, that is what’s most important.

Sacred crystals/stones: Clear Quartz, Halite, Honey Calcite; unassuming, smooth, river stones. The quartz and calcite are used in prayers, while halite is often consumed with the meal as a seasoning; river stones are to be used as a soup stock. Confusing these stones will also confuse him, though no harm will come of it (unless you decide to digest the other stones, then there may be some other god you need to pray to for that).

Sacred animals: Deer, Wildfowl, Wild Hogs; any hunted animal for a meal. Animals that are hunted for the specific purpose of becoming a meal are to be blessed and honored after they are killed. To thank the land, and Liliah’to, for the bounty.

Colors: Green, White, Black Those that worship him often dress themselves in green and white; on holidays, traditionally colored candles are lit in his honor, while black is worn during meals.

Food: Any - specifically with foraged ingredients. During holidays associated with him, it is polite to create meals from herbs, meats, and vegetables grown out in the wild; but not necessary - a home cooked meal is enough to gain his blessing.

Scents: Petrichor, Sweet Pea, savory seasonings and cooked meals.

Accepted offerings/ways to honor: Liliah’to has many ways to be honored, creating meals from scratch are the best offerings; though simply enjoying a meal with friends, strangers, and family, are also accepted. 

Other offerings include his sacred flowers and stones, home-made brews, potions, water and wind crystals, hand-drawn pictures and artwork, fallen applewood or hickory branches (do not clip the branches, unless the tree is specifically grown in his honor), collected rainwater, worn down boots and shoes, and worn cookware.

Gardens can be planted in his honor and as offerings, but it is tedious to maintain if one is not used to growing plants. Gardens that die and are left to wilt are considered an insult to him - and while he is benevolent enough not to punish anyone, he will still be hurt enough to ignore your offerings and leave you with no blessings. Gardens that die that are reclaimed - either by the same person, due to lengthy illness, or by another should that person have passed on - are given greater blessings to help grow what was once there.

Liliah’to is a welcoming and benevolent god, offering great bounties to those who worship him - regardless of whether it is purposeful or not. He delights in homecooked meals and drinks; and brings healing to those who need it. He is not easily insulted, though when he is, he bears no punishment to anyone - he can be forgiving, though stubborn in doing so.

He has two holidays throughout the year, one celebrated throughout the 2nd Umbral Moon and 3rd Astral Moon; and another throughout the 5th Umbral Moon and 6th Astral Moon. 

The first, celebrated in the springtime, is to honor healing and medicine. Meditation is expected from the most devout followers, but for the casual follower, they will often take a religious holiday break from work to destress and spend time with loved ones. Offerings on these moons are usually flowers and herbs, as well as hand made drinks - such as teas, lemonades, and fruit-waters. Alcoholic beverages are avoided for offerings during these moons, but are consumed in celebration of life and what the land brings.

The second, celebrated in the autumn, is used to honor the harvest and meals. Food is shared with everyone and the best offering to leave for him is to share in your creations. Meals and conversation with strangers are done in observation of his holidays, and offerings left include homecooked meals, homemade alcoholic beverages, and any leftover harvest. These moons are seen as a more “loud” celebration compared to that of the spring, and can be spent partying, traveling in groups with strangers from one city to another, candlelit paths to nearby towns, and overall filled with song and happiness.

-

Those that follow Liliah’to closely are often aspiring chefs, traveling merchants, and restaurants. Restaurants opened in his name are often decorated with his colors and flowers, and pride in fresh food and grown gardens.  He is fond of them and offers blessings in their business; but he favors the traveling culinarian more. Sometimes, he will seek out these travelers - even without worship to him - and bless them with luck and safety on their paths.  Medics and apothecaries also favor him, for his association with medicine and healing. Homeopathic remedies are blessed by him before use to ensure their potency; and he will listen intently to the troubles of those suffering from grief, stress, and mental illness, and bring them peace when they are done.

[readyforthegarden]

Bubblegum - Part Ten

Masterlist

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x Female OC

Warnings: Shady management? Other than that, nothing!

Synopsis: When Eden signed her recording contract to become a pop superstar, she hadn't realized she wasn't just signing her creative freedoms away, she was signing much more. Her control over social media, her diet, and even her relationships. When she gets contracted into a relationship with some wannabe rockstar name Jake Kiszka, will she finally find her freedom?

🎶 🎶 🎶

Eden sat in one of the conference rooms of the record labels building, across from Louise, Matt and Bryan, listening to them talk about her album. It gave her a small smugness, knowing that she had an album already done and up her sleeve. Her phone buzzed in her lap, and she glanced down, seeing a text pop up on the screen.

‘Can’t wait to see you tonight xx’ Eden smiled at the message from Jake, quickly typing back the same sentiment. 

“Eden, dear, please pay attention, this is your career we’re laying out in front of you.” Bryan tapped on the table in front of her. She put her phone into her purse, folding her hands on top of the table. “Thank you.”

“So, Eden, we have a couple of songs written, and this one, we’re really excited about!” Louise slid the paper across the table for her, lyrics written on it. Matt pulled up his phone, and music started playing. It was sad, melancholy and Eden read the lyrics on the page.

‘You came into my life and changed it, 

now you’ve disappeared and I’m lost.

I thought you were going to be a perfect fit,

I took a chance at love and look what it cost.’

“Wow, that is….depressing.” Eden glanced up at the writers. ‘And not very good.’  she thought to herself.

“Well it’s a breakup ballad, it should be depressing.” Matt rolled his eyes. He was the least patient person on her team, having bickered with her over his writing the last time he and Louise wrote for her.

“No offense, but this sounds like something a third-grader would’ve written in their journal when their crush didn’t tag them on the playground.” Eden tossed the lyric page back on the table.

“Eden!” Bryan snapped. “That’s an incredibly rude thing to say.”

“It’s also the truth.” Eden shrugged. She was feeling more comfortable and confident in her skin since her trip to the mountains with the boys, and knowing that her own music was in her hands, ready and waiting for the moment to shine was the icing on the cake. “This is my third album. Are you guys trying to make sure it’s going to flop?”

“We’ve been working really hard on this, Eden.” Louise shot a glare across the table towards you as Matt paused the music on his phone. 

“Not hard enough. This is disney channel drivel.” Eden pushed back from the table, standing up and grabbing her bag.  “Bryan, you should look into new writers. Louise and Matt are past their prime, and they’re not going to make you any money on this album.” 

As she walked across the room she turned and looked at Bryan again, giving him a sweet smile.

“Is Mark Ronson still a thing? Maybe give him a call, he’s done wonders with Miley Cyrus. Or get that Ed Sheeran duet, that’d be great, thanks! I’ll see you next week.” and with that, Eden left the conference room, squealing internally at how cooly defiant she just was. As she waited for the elevator, she heard her name being called, and turned, seeing Bryan storming towards her.

“What on earth has gotten into you?” Bryan hissed, lowering his face to be eye level to her. “That was completely uncalled for!”

“No, Bryan, it’s absolutely called for.” Eden seethed. “For six years, I’ve played the part of the sweet, doe-eyed pop princess. I played along, recording songs about gyrating my hips against random men at clubs and trying not to puke at the not-so-subtle allusions to sucking their dicks. I’ve had my clothes, my hair, even my food choices made for me and I’m done, Bryan.” the doors had opened and Eden stepped in, pressing the lobby button and the close door button. As they shut, she spoke once more, standing firmly in her resolve. “You get one more album from me, we’re at least going to make sure it’s not the absolute fucking garbage you normally shit out.”

As she drove home, Eden pulled through a fast food drive thru, ordering the biggest burger and fries meal she could, with a sugary sweet soft drink. She knew her stomach was going to give her hell for it, but her defiant streak was raging and she couldn’t let it stop now. She pressed a few touch buttons on the car screen and waited for her call to pick up.

“Hey Edie, what’s shakin’? she could hear Sam’s grin through the phone and it made her smile. 

“Just got out of a label meeting, got the world’s biggest cheesiest cheeseburger, and am thinking about doing something impulsive. I need a partner in crime.”

“Well I’m always down for a good crime.” Sam laughed. “What did you have in mind?” Eden thought for a few moments.

“I’ll text you the address, can you meet me in like, half an hour?”

“Sure…” Sam now sounded skeptical. “Eden, this isn’t really a crime, is it?” Eden laughed loudly, shaking her head even though she knew he couldn’t see her.

“No, not technically.” she giggled. “I’ll see you in a bit, okay?”

“‘Kay, bye.” 

🎶 🎶 🎶

“Are you sure you don’t want one?” Eden looked at Sam as she sat in the chair, trying to ignore the nervous shaking of her stomach. Sam crinkled his nose, shaking his head.

“And mar my perfect skin? Absolutely not.” he took a sip of the latte he’d brought with him as he paced, looking through the different tattoo designs on the walls of the shop. “Are you sure you want to do this? I mean….they’re permanent.”

“What? Oh god, I had no idea!” Eden rolled her eyes, mocking him. Sam shot her a look before she continued. “I’m sure. Technically, I’m not supposed to get a tattoo while under contract, but who cares anymore?”

“You little rebel.” Sam smirked at her as the tattoo artist finished setting up next to her. “What are you getting?”

“Property of Jake Kiszka, right on my left butt cheek.” Eden answered. Sam snorted into his coffee, and Eden laughed. “It’s a flower, on my thigh and hip area…you’ll see it’s gonna be gorgeous.”

“Of course it will be.” Sam finally settled himself on a chair next to you. The flowy light weight skirt she had changed into from her meeting was pulled up on her left thigh, tucked into the leg of her panties. The tattoo artist was walking Eden and Sam through the steps of her placing the stencil on her skin, letting them know what parts were going to suck the most. Sam watched as the color began to drain from Eden’s face, and took her hand in his, squeezing it. “You’re gonna do amazing.”

“Thanks.” she squeezed her eyes shut as the needle gun started buzzing and took a deep breath when the artist began their work. “Okay, this isn’t so awful…it’s bad, but not terrible.”

“Yeah?” Sam asked. Eden nodded. “Then can you loosen up your grip a little? I still have to play music later.”

“Shit, sorry.” Eden let go of Sam’s hand and rested it on the arm of the chair. After a few moments, Sam pulled out his phone, taking a few photos of Eden in the chair, watching the artist work, before grabbing her attention and taking a few selfies with her, fake scared faces and big cheesy grins. “Don’t send any to Jake! I want to surprise him.”

“Got it.” Sam quickly backspaced after putting in Jake’s name on the text, then erased Josh’s too, knowing the twin would definitely show his brother. Danny was the only recipient of the photos, and he immediately responded with a shocked face emoji, and asking if Sam had dared her to do it. “Danny thinks I put you up to this.”

“I mean, is it totally unimaginable?” Eden raised an eyebrow to Sam. 

“Noo.” Sam huffed. The rest of the appointment was spent with Sam pacing anxiously and Eden near falling asleep in the chair after getting used to the needle. When the tattoo was finished, the artist wrapped it, and gave Eden tips and advice on how to let it heal, and sent them on their way.  Once home, Eden grabbed Elton from his cat tree, feeling the soreness from the tattoo come on and just wanting to lay down on her couch. As she got comfy, her purse began to vibrate and she stuffed her hand into it, searching around for her phone while trying not to disturb the orange tabby on her chest.

Her phone was blowing up with texts, barely being able to register what the messages were, just seeing Danny, Sam and Josh’s names popping up over and over.

“I can’t believe this!”

“This is absolute bullshit. I hate them.”

“The karmic retribution will be deliciously horrible.” as Eden tried to catch up on what was happening, Jake’s face appeared on the screen, and she answered the call.

“What’s going on?” he said as soon as Eden said hello.

“Funny, that’s what I was going to ask you. Your brothers are going crazy.” Eden asked confused. “What is everyone talking about?”

“You didn’t see?” Jake asked, exasperated. 

“I’ve been busy for the past few hours, see what?” Eden groaned.

“Apparently, you’re cheating on me.” Jake huffed a laugh, and soon a link to an article was texted to her from him. There was a photo of her at the tattoo shop through the window, standing next to one of the bigger, burlier tattoo artists that was there. Sam was also in the photo, looking uneasy at her side. The article wasn’t talking about Sam, though, it was saying that Eden was flirting with the artist and “sparks were flying”.

“Christ.” Eden sighed. “This is all my fault.”

“How could it be your fault?” Jake scoffed. 

“I may have mouthed off to Bryan this morning at my meeting.” Eden shrank into the couch, waiting for him to go off on her.

“Good, he probably fuckin deserved it.” he said.

“You’re not mad?”

“Eden, I wish I could’ve been there to see it.” he laughed. “Now, are you going to tell me what you and Sam were doing at a tattoo shop in the middle of the day?”

“Well,” she began, biting her lip. “It was supposed to be a surprise, but I got a tattoo, and I really love it.”

“What did you get?”

“Mmm, I’m going to keep that a surprise.” she giggled softly, petting Elton distractedly. “You can see it when you come over tonight.”

“Let me guess,” Jake said excitedly. “Oh, is it my name on your ass?”

“Did you talk to Sam?!”

“No! Why, am I right?”

“Not at all, but I did joke that that’s what I was going to get!” Her and Jake laughed together, and a knock on her front door caught her off guard. She got up from the couch, listening to Jake talk about how he couldn’t wait to see the tattoo, and that next time, he wanted to go with her, and get one himself. As she opened the door, she saw Bryan, looking incredibly pissed off. “Hey, I have to go.”

“Alright, see you tonight.” Eden hung up with Jake and stared at Bryan.

“We need to have some discussions.” Bryan said. “And we’re having them now.”

this is the tattoo that inspired the Eden's:

Taglist: @trafficwasabitch, @obetrolncocktails, @streamsofstardust, @sammiejane22, @myownparadise96, @gretavanbitches, @mamavanheat, @lunaindigoraven, @shutupdevvie @jakewhorecore @josiee-gvf @shesawomaninadream @writingcold @spicedandicedtea @niallsboxx @baguettejuliette @lallisonl @josh-iamyour-mama @gretavanflowerpower

[rhysismydaddy]

Prisoner's Game Pt. 2 (Rowaelin)

Part 1

~Rowan~

Rowan didn't think he'd ever been so pissed off in his life.

The only time that even came close was when he lost his first and only court case, but over the years he'd come to live with that.

This though?

This immature, childish, irritatingly clever woman... he had a feeling he'd carry the rage he felt against her until the day he finally died of it.

Although, if he was honest, his returning move had been a little childish, too.

He'd ordered one of the guards to strip her cell of everything except the chess set. Her mattress, the makeshift knife he shuddered to think she'd had in the same room as him, her pillow.

If she wanted to steal his shit, he'd steal hers, too.

He'd also had the guard move one of his pawns forward on the board.

Not the most creative, but he didn't have many options.

What did you take from a woman who had nothing? How did you punish someone who was already serving the longest punishment available?

The bank had seized her assets when she'd been locked up, and the lease on her apartment had long since run out. She didn't have any personal items with her, didn't seem to even care about anything besides making his life hell.

Case in point, when he got home that night, exhausted from dealing with Aelin and spending a long day at the office, he'd discovered her retaliation.

She'd stolen his bed.

The whole goddamn thing, frame and all.

How she'd managed to get it out of a penthouse condo with security not realizing a thing, he had no idea. He knew from experience it wouldn't even fit through the door.

It'd seemed if she was going to be uncomfortable, so was he.

Steaming with anger, he'd showered and flopped on the couch like an idiot, not even able to sleep thanks to the rage she'd worked him into.

She was completely kicking his ass. From the inside of a jail cell.

He hadn't gotten more than a few hours of sleep before giving up on even trying. At six, he'd dressed and driven to Whitehorn and Salvaterre, the law firm he was a partner at.

If he couldn't sleep, he'd at least figure out how the hell she was pulling this shit off.

Looking through her folder, he went through her daily schedule, seeing nothing out of the ordinary.

Eight am wake-up, breakfast, shower, lunch, yard time, dinner, lights out at nine. Between activities, she worked out in her cell or read a book from the run-down prison library.

In the eight years she'd been in prison, she hadn't had a single visitor. Her cousin Aedion--a playboy Rowan couldn't be paid to associate with--delivered a care package on the first of every month.

Strange, considering nothing of the sort had been in her cell.

She'd been in solitary confinement ever since randomly attacking her cellmate a little over a month ago. She was still allowed yard time and meals with the other prisoners, but she was chained at all times.

Also strange, considering Aelin wasn't the type to do anything randomly.

Rowan watched the security tapes he'd strong armed the guards into giving him, going through the past few days to see how she'd gotten out of her cell to rob him.

He watched as she was escorted to the yard, watched as she ate breakfast and lunch and dinner alone, watched as she put herself through vigorous training in her cell.

Days of footage, and he didn't find anything.

Feeling like a bit of a creep, he watched the nighttime footage of her sleeping, but there was nothing out of the ordinary.

She didn't move too much or too little--both of which would indicate it wasn't really her under that thin blanket. There were no attempts to pick the locks in between her wrists and ankles, no digging into the wall behind her toilet.

Nothing.

Which meant someone was helping her.

He could go through the official channels and ask the police for her known connections, but he hadn't reported either of the robberies yet.

Partly because he wanted to deal with her himself, partly because he felt a bit stupid getting robbed from a woman in the most secure prison in the city.

Which means he'd have to go about it a different way.

Grabbing his keys from his desk, he debated how else he could make her miserable, unfortunately finding nothing else he could do to her, no revenge he could get from robbing her tiny little cell.

No, he'd have to try something new.

Maybe he could bribe her into confessing. She didn't have anything right now, but maybe he could give her something to lose.

He'd bring her lunch, force himself to apologize for yelling at her, and just politely ask who her accomplice was.

He thought on it as he rode down the elevator to the garage. It probably wouldn't work, but he didn't know what else to do.

And besides, he knew from experience Aelin didn't respond well to his anger.

Checking his email to make sure he wasn't missing any important meetings, he pressed the button on his car fob, expecting to hear the resounding beep from his designated parking spot.

Except the beep never came.

Slowly looking up, Rowan had to amend his earlier statement.

Now he didn't think he'd ever been so pissed off in his life.

He stormed over to the security booth, hardly refraining from grabbing the man inside and throwing him to the ground.

"Where's my car, Rolland?"

"In your spot, boss," the stout little man replied instantly and surely, snapping his gum and looking at him in confusion. "Haven't seen you drive out yet."

"Yes, exactly. Which is why it's a mystery why it's no longer in it's spot."

Rolland caught up slowly. "You mean... it was stolen? From here? From you?"

Jaw so tight his molars were practically fused together, Rowan growled, "Just let me see the security tapes from this morning."

The guard nodded quickly, eyes nervous as he typed something into the desktop in front of him.

"That's weird," he muttered a moment later, typing faster and sending Rowan a nervous glance.

"What?" he asked, trying to calm himself down with a few of the breathing techniques he'd learned over the years.

"The tapes are gone, but there's... this."

Rolland turned the screen so Rowan could see it, and all the breathing in the world couldn't keep him from slamming a fist into the side of the security shack.

The footage was gone, and on the blank black screen read: Bishop to J7.

He was going to fucking kill her.

~Aelin~

"Enjoy your taxi ride here?" she asked sweetly, leaning back in her chair and crossing her legs.

Rowan scowled at her as he crossed the small room inmates could use to talk to their lawyers. He yanked the chair across from her out, then threw himself into it. "You are such a pain in my ass."

She just shrugged.

He sat across from her, angry and broody, and for a long time, he just stared at her.

Finally he asked, "Why are you doing this, Aelin?"

"I told you. You locked me up for something I didn't do. I want you to be as miserable as I am. It's simple, petty revenge."

Nothing about it was simple, but that was besides the point.

He was quiet for another moment. "Why now?"

She sighed, but she wasn't upset. Truthfully, she'd been waiting for him to ask that question.

"I want to tell you a story."

He stood up suddenly, face exasperated. "I'm not fucking joking around. And I'm not going to let you waste any more of my time."

He made his way to the door, and his dismissal of her pissed her off enough to say, "Sit down, or your car's going off Whigsby Bridge."

He smiled like he'd won their little game. "So you admit you have it."

"Sure," she said casually, honestly not giving a shit about the car.

His brow furrowed. "You're giving up? Just like that?"

"You're a fucking idiot if you think this is about your car, Rowan. But sure, I admit I know exactly where it, and your bed, and your little dagger are being hidden."

He narrowed his eyes. "This conversation is being recorded, and you just admitted to being an accessory to robbery, so-"

"You aren't going to press charges," she cut him off, pulling a cigarette out of her pocket and lighting it.

Nasty little prison habit she'd developed, smoking.

Or maybe she just did it because she knew he hated the smell.

"Oh, really?" he asked incredulously, eyeing the cigarette with disdain.

She grinned. "Once you sit and hear my story and realize I'm telling the truth, you're going to feel so guilty you won't even care about the car. Now sit down. I'd hate to see a classic get totaled because you're being stubborn again."

He glared at her, but came back to the table and sat down again.

Then reached over and snatched the cigarette from her lips, putting it out against the steel table top.

She just pulled out another, lighting it with one of her last matches. The irritation on his face made it worth the loss.

He waved a hand as if to say Get on with it.

She'd debated how to tell him this story for a long time. It was long, and messy and not particularly pleasant for her. But she wanted him to know the full thing, so she'd decided to start at the very beginning.

"My parents died when I was four," she began, ignoring his dramatic sigh. "I went into foster care, and as you can imagine, I was a particularly unruly child."

She smiled at the few memories she had. "I stole from the nuns, snuck out of my room at night and ran through the house, set all the clocks back an hour so we could sleep in. Small stuff. But it irritated them, because they couldn't prove it was me."

"Sounds familiar," he grouched, making her grin.

"I was adopted by Arobynn Hamel a year later."

As she'd predicted, his mouth fell open at that.

Arobynn was the known king of the underworld in Rifthold. He had a hand in every aspect of crime, yet no one could do anything about it because he never committed the crime himself.

His name was revered, so much so no one ever dared to cross him.

"But your record says-"

"That I stayed in foster care until I turned eighteen, I know."

Arobynn hated public records and had a deal with someone in the system that he'd take some of the kids off their hands if they kept quiet about it. Illegal as hell, but he wasn't someone you refused without suffering serious consequences.

It was the perfect crime. No one would miss unwanted kids, and it gave the system one less mouth to feed.

"I didn't know it, but he'd been watching me for a while. He... I don't know, saw something in me. Natural, innocent talent he could work with and turn into something different. He adopted me on my fifth birthday. And then he started training me."

"To do what?" Rowan asked, shoulders tensing.

"Everything," she answered with a shaky laugh, taking a long drag from her cigarette. "Stuff I wanted to learn, like how to pick a lock or walk without making sound. But as I got older, he taught me other stuff. Stuff I didn't want to know."

"How to kill," he finished, picking up on her tone.

She nodded, finishing her cigarette and flicking the butt on the floor.

"I was good," she told him quietly, looking down at the table. "By the time I was fifteen, he said I was the best he'd ever had. None of his other... children could beat me in a fight, not even the older ones who had a hundred pounds on me. And I could steal anything and not leave a trace."

His eyes didn't show an ounce of doubt, and she didn't know how to feel about it. But she kept going anyway.

"I was his favorite. I was his best asset, and I didn't care about anything that would compromise me. I lost my parents, and despite how much he wanted me to, I never loved him. I had no weaknesses. Except Sam."

"Another of his students?" Rowan asked, and it wasn't lost on her he said students instead of children.

She nodded. "We were adopted around the same time, grew up together. He was a year older, and whenever I had a problem, he was the one I'd turn to. He was good to me, and by the time I was seventeen, not a small part of me loved him."

Aelin broke off and took a deep breath, wishing she had another cigarette and trying to figure out how to put into words how much he'd meant to her.

"Was?" Rowan asked, so softly and quietly and understandingly that she was reminded of the man he'd once been, the one she'd loved.

Shaking her head to clear it, she said, "He made a mistake. He went on a job; he was supposed to break into one of the underground casino's owned by Arobynn's competitor and memorize the ledger, but he got caught. It was messy and horrible and stupid, and the owner wanted blood. Arobynn promised he'd kill Sam as retribution."

Rowan's eyes widened, almost like he hadn't realized how brutally she'd been raised until that moment.

"I begged him not to. Sam had saved me and helped me so many times that I couldn't not do the same for him. I told him I'd do anything."

She studied her hands, regret and guilt thick on her skin. "Arobynn said if I took ten of the jobs Sam was supposed to do, he wouldn't kill him. I thought they'd be similar to the one he'd messed up on, small break-ins or robberies. So I accepted."

A tear rolled down her cheek, and she batted it away as she continued, "The second I shook his hand, Tern--another of Arobynn's--shot Sam in the head."

Rowan's face blanched so quickly, she thought he might pass out.

He started to say something, but she spoke faster. "I... snapped. I killed Tern, tried to kill Arobynn. You called me a murderer, and that's true. I am, and I don't regret it. Tern was a sadistic bastard, and I'm glad he's dead. And one day, I'll kill Arobynn for what he did."

Rowan shook his head, confusion and shock and something similar to pity in his eyes. "Why didn't you leave, run away?"

She leveled a look at him. "I didn't exactly have a choice, Rowan. My punishment for Tern lasted for over a year."

There was a long pause.

"Punishment?" he asked in a breathless voice that made something in her chest hurt.

She looked at the table again, skin pebbling at the memory of that year. "He locked me in a cell in the basement, in the dark. Once a month he'd come in to ask if I knew someone named Sam. It took me ten months to get confused, another three to say no."

Still not meeting his eyes, she looked at his hands, noticing they were clenched so tightly the knuckles were white. And a part of her, buried under all the rage and resentment and sadness, warmed at the thought that he was... he was angry for her.

"It took me a long time after to figure out what was real and what wasn't. But Arobynn never let me forget our deal. And right before I met you, he told me the first job."

"What were the jobs?"

Aelin looked back up at that, the air thick between them as she said, "You already know."

"The murders."

She nodded, somehow managing to keep her spine straight despite the feeling of a hundred pound weight being lifted from her shoulders.

He at least knows why now, she thought to herself.

It was one of the things that had bothered her over the years. That he didn't know why she'd done what he thought she'd done. That he thought she'd.. wanted to do it.

He was silent for a long time, just watching her with a carefully emotionless face. "Thank you for telling me that," he said eventually. "I never could understand why."

Then he stood and walked to the door again, and it was only when his hand was on the handle she spoke again. "You asked why I'm doing this, and why I'm doing it now."

He opened the door but paused. Waited.

"It's because I tried to tell you this all those years ago, and you didn't care. You just assumed I was guilty because the evidence looked like it."

She spoke around the lump in her throat. "I told you I didn't kill those people, Rowan, and you didn't even care."

He spun around, slamming the door so hard it rattled, and in a split second, he was in front of her. A hand on the table, the other on her chair, he leaned down and got in her face.

He was so angry, so unbelievably enraged she couldn't believe it. He was angry?

"I didn't care? I didn't fucking care, that's what you think? Watching you get dragged away in cuffs was the worst moment of my life, and you think I didn't fucking care?"

Shock hit her like a bucket of ice water.

That moment was crystal clear in her mind, and she couldn't put what he was saying with what she knew.

He'd watched her with that same expressionless face, with cold eyes that had haunted her ever since.

She opened her mouth to say something, but he wasn't done.

"I fucked loved you! I thought you were the love of my life, Aelin. I begged you to tell me something that would help, tell me anything. But you didn't! You just kept saying you were innocent; you didn't give me anything to actually work with."

"I-"

"I found that stupid fucking list five days before I reported it, did you know that?"

She shook her head, because she hadn't.

"Exactly. You don't know what the hell you're talking about," he growled, eyes flashing. "I spent five days investigating it myself, trying to make sense of why you'd know those names. After your arrest, I spent two weeks trying to find anything, a single piece of evidence, that said it wasn't you. And after the trial, I spent another two months trying to poke holes in my own goddamn case."

He slammed a hand into the table. "I did everything I fucking could! I was desperate for it not to be you. I argued my case so your lawyer could plead circumstantial evidence. I put you on the stand so you could say anything you wanted. I went for life sentences instead of the death penalty to give you time to actually tell me what the hell was going on!"

She was breathing heavily, heart breaking and reforming over and over again at what he was saying, what he was implying.

"I didn't assume shit," he said in a low voice, so close they shared air. "You didn't tell me anything."

Aelin's voice trembled as she croaked, "I tried."

He shook his head, letting out a breath of amusement. "No, you didn't. If this past week has proven anything, it's that you don't try to do anything, you do it. You didn't tell me anything, Aelin. You're still not telling me anything."

"I'm telling you to look again! I'm telling you you didn't look hard enough, because I left breadcrumbs only you could find, breadcrumbs that explain everything."

"Stop playing games with me!" he shouted, eyes flashing with a fresh wave of anger. "It's been eight years! Stop holding onto whatever secret you're holding onto and just tell me!"

Gods, she wanted to.

He was the one person she couldn't trust with this secret, this stupid, most important secret, and yet he was the also the one person she wanted to tell it to.

She opened her mouth to tell him, but what came out was, "I didn't kill them, Rowan. I promise I didn't kill them. I can't... I can't tell you anything else."

"Jesus, Aelin," he spat, pushing off the table and turning to leave.

"Just look into it," she called after him, fingers digging into the table to resist the urge to try and follow him. "I promise you can figure everything out, and you'll understand everything. Please."

She knew why, after all this time, it was so important for him to know the truth when that hadn't been her original plan.

It was because she'd spent eight years believing he hadn't tried, believing she hadn't been a good enough person for him to even look into the possibility it wasn't her.

And maybe it was because he was once again leaving her, or maybe it was because she felt like she was in that courtroom again, begging him to believe her, or maybe it was because of something she didn't even understand yet.

Regardless of the reason, she found herself saying, "I loved you, too, you know."

He looked at her with sad eyes that she was sure mirrored her own and shook his head. "Not enough, apparently."

"You don't believe that," she argued, shaking her head and trying to keep the building emotions down.

"If you'd loved me, you would've told me. You would've given me the proof, whatever breadcrumbs you're talking about. You wouldn't have let me watch them take you away."

"Rowan-"

"You wouldn't have thought, for a second, that I didn't try to fight for you. And you sure as hell wouldn't have waited eight years to do whatever it is you're trying to do."

"I had to," she whispered, even as she knew it wouldn't be enough.

She shook with the effort to not tell him everything, but even after all he'd told her and how everything had changed, she just couldn't. Not yet.

He stood at the door, watching her with those eyes she'd once thought looked like the most beautiful emeralds. "Sometimes I think about it, you know. What life would be like if I hadn't tried to fix your sink in the middle of the night."

She smiled sadly. "Me too."

Rowan shook his head, gaze taking in her face like he thought he'd never see her again.

He thought it was over now, she realized. He thought that now she knew he hadn't given up on her immediately, now that she'd told him the story she'd wanted to tell him, that it was over and she'd give up.

"Look again," she whispered. "You know I didn't do it. It's why you're here, why you kept looking after the trial ended. You know I wouldn't."

"Goodbye, Aelin," he said instead, not telling her any of the things she really wanted to hear.

It wasn't until the door shut behind him she finally let herself cry.

She'd told herself that it didn't matter; that in a month the truth would come out and everything would be normal again.

She'd told herself she was only messing with Rowan for revenge, not because she wanted to see him again or test that he'd find the clues she'd left for him.

She'd told herself this was just a game.

She'd told herself all sorts of things that turned out to be lies.

~~~

Part 3

@audreycressworth @whimsicallyreading @onceupona-chaos @lil-unoriginal-weirdo-273sole @surielandiareendgame @captain-swan-is-endgame @poisonous00 @vasudharaghavan @sailorsassley @endlessdaydream @swankii-art-teacher @beanco8 @stokingthemidnightflame @mis-lil-red @ladyfireheart-and-buzzard @sheharahu @perseusannabeth @cursebreaker29 @a-bit-of-a-cactus @elriel4life @girl-who-reads-the-books @aelinfeyreeleven945tbln @live-the-fangirl-life @ireallyshouldsleeprn @highqueenofelfhame @gracie-rosee @rowaelinismyotp @nahthanks @ghostlyrose2 @lovemollywho @inardour @tillyrubes10 @claralady @tswaney17 @rowanisahunk @superspiritfestival @thegoddessofyou @awesomelena555 @booksofthemoon @greerlunna @jlinez @studyliketate @over300books @justgiu12 @maastrash @aesthetics-11 @bamchickawowow @b00kworm @sleeping-and-books @musicmaam @hizqueen4life @maybekindasortaace

[chmerkovskiyvalentin]

Maksim and Valentin Chmerkovskiy are exclusively taking ET behind the scenes of their rehearsals for their Maks & Val: Stripped Down Tour!

In their first in-person interview in over a year and a half, the Dancing With the Stars pros open up about how excited they are to get back on tour, what fans can expect from the 19-city show and more.

"It was kind of a play on words," Val told ET's Lauren Zima of how he and Maks came up with the name. "It wasn't supposed to be so literal. Maks is ready to strip down literally, I am ready to strip down creatively, emotionally."

Maks added that the show is family friendly, but assures fans that they'll still take their shirts off at some point, "in a very artsy, artistic, creative" way.

The tour marks their first time on the road together since 2018. Maks and Val were supposed to head out again last year -- with their respective wives, Peta Murgatroyd and Jenna Johnson -- but unfortunately had to cancel their plans due to the COVID-19 pandemic. The talented brothers said they've both changed a lot within that time, both physically and mentally.

"I was very depressed for a very long time, not being able to go out and perform, do what I love and also interact with people," Val admitted, adding that performing is such a big part of his identity. "In front of a lens performing is one thing, but being live, this is where we are at our best. Because there is that spontaneity, that relationship with our fans and the audience in general. It's ecstatic."

"The psychology of it, the creativity of it is great, but also the physicality of it," he continued. "Like, my body changed [during quarantine] and I didn't like it. I'm not really a gym type of person. I stay fit because I've been fortunate enough where my profession keeps me fit. So not being able to perform and dance every day [was hard]. But the abs are back, just for Stripped Down!"

Maks echoed what Val said, telling ET, "For me, it was a devastating blow thinking of me as, like, somewhat of an athlete at the end of his career, having that last final chance of things to get that chip, that championship trophy."

"It's a reality for a lot of performers. You won't see them back on your television or in competitions or in whatever it is that they do because we just got a year and a half older and no longer are in the shape that we could do it," he explained. "So I actually pride myself, and am glad for my family and our surroundings, the way they are, that I was able to push myself. I stayed ready for this."

"I feel like I'm already on borrowed time with all the physical activity on this level. I've been retiring for 10 years, I've been trying to retire for the last five, actively," he joked. "And still here we are, getting ready for the tour happily!"

That being said, ET of course had to ask Maks if there's any chance he could return to Dancing With the Stars for the show's upcoming 30th season. The OG pro joined the series in season 2, and last competed with Vanessa Lachey during season 25.

"This is a natural way of things. I created a big void when I left. I do have to probably with a pat on the back acknowledge that, which was successfully filled by people who by people, by characters, by talent, by incredible dancing, I would only wish that the show remains," Maks responded. "Am I going to be on it? Most likely not. I just don't have the emotional capacity to withstand what the show is today and I don't know how I did it back then either."

"But I am saying that I want to be the fan, I want to continue being the fan," he added. "I want to continue to be on the sidelines. I bring [my son] Shai to the studio, we go and he knows that this is Mama's work. This is my new Dancing With the Stars representation. It is not the same for me. I had my time, and it was incredible."

Val, on the other hand, said he would absolutely love to come back, if producers give him the call.

"I love the show. I love how many opportunities that it created for us, and for dance in general," he gushed. "We were talking about that yesterday, how dance had such a golden age, if you will. And part of everything that happened last year, with everything coming to a hold it's like, 'How are we still going to be a priority as an entertainment form?'"

"I think we are also not just telling our stories, but we feel compelled to give back to our dance community, and continue to push dance to the community," he added. "I think the 30th season's going to be the biggest season ever. And you know what? I'm calling it right now. I'm gonna win this damn thing!"

Maks & Val: Stripped Down Tour kicks off July 24 in Walnut Creek, California, and wraps Aug. 21 in Tampa, Florida. Tickets are on sale now here. In the meantime, hear more on the Chmerkovskiys in the video below!

[revchainsaw]

Bumblebee (2018)

Good Evening worshippers, and welcome! Today the Cult of Cult goes a little more mainstream than usual. It's been a while since i've tackled a big Hollywood superhero film. But I do believe that these sorts of films will be remembered fondly my small groups of people in the future, especially the smaller films that are being overshadowed by the big bad MCU, films like 2018s Bumblebee.

The Messsage

Bumblebee was originally released as a prequel to the Transformers franchise that had started all the way back in 2007. However, reboots had really hit the market as a way to breath new life into struggling franchises, and the Transformers series had already gone to just about every absurd extreme you could imagine. No changes were made to the movie as it was released, but with it's more childish and heartfelt tone, and a new aesthetic that was softer, smoother, and all around just generally more pleasing to the eye, I think it was a wise choice to rebrand Bumblebee as a new beginning.

Our story is of two friends from two very different worlds and how they came together. Our first character is Bumblebee, then known as B- number sign/it doesn't really matter. Not yet Bumblebee is a soldier set with securing a safe location for the Autobots to regroup and make their home as they suffer a pretty serious defeat on cybertron at the hands of the tyrannical Decepticons. Optimus Prime, here again voiced by Peter Cullen and looking so much more like himself, assigns this task to Bumblebee promising him that they will meet him there when the time comes. Then Optimus fucks off for the rest of the run time making way for our little hero.

Bumblebee lands on Earth and is immediately set upon by John Cena and his military goon squad. It probably would have been wise for Bumblebee to avoid John Cena but in his defense, he couldn't see him. Hardy har har. In his attempt to flee his voice box is damaged, he seeks sanctuary by taking the form of a run down little VW bug, and suffers from amnesia.

Then we have Charlie. Charlie is not like other girls. She likes cars, all the retro music, which wasn't retro when the movie takes place, so I'm supposed to just think she's a rocker but it kinda seems like she'll listen to just about anything. I think in 2018 liking Motorhead and The Smiths (who are used ad nauseum in this movie) is perfectly common, but I feel like in the 80s that was a much different and much older attitude to take.

Anyway Charlie's poor family lives in a super fucking nice house and are poor because the dialogue keeps insisting they are so it must be true despite all the shit they have that actually poor people would sell blood and teeth to attain, but hell, this is Hollywood and Hollywood poor is like regular people upper middle class. Charlies family is so poor that instead of giving her a one time graduation/birthday present to buy a part for a car she already has, they just give her a moped, She also spends all her time at a pull apart where the manager (who might be her uncle that wasn't super clear) is willing to just give her a Volkswagen so I don't understand why she didn't already have the project car up and running. Whatever, it's a plot contrivance. All you need to know is that Charlie is tenacious and hard around the edges cuz her dad is dead and she's not yet mature enough to process that in a healthy way. Maybe her character arch will teach her to let others in, we'll have to find out.

There's also a wacky nerd named Memo, and some bad guys, and John Cena. They are all also pretty archetypal and contrived and don't really do anything of note that isn't just filling a beat that this kind of movie needs to walk. Charlie starts Bumblebee up, discovers he's a robot and the two begin to bond. Charlie learns to make a friend, and bumblebee is learning about himself. They get into hijinks and get revenge on a bully girl who makes Regina George look like a saint, she pretty much only picks on Charlie exclusively for having a dead dad.

The moment Bumblebee is woken back up, some technology goof em up that both he and Charlie are unaware of brings two Decepticon baddies into the picture. I don't remember their names, but since I love The Venture Brothers let's say they can be "Jet Boy and Jet Girl". Jet Boy and Jet Girl are sometimes cars, sometimes various flying military vehicles, and they make friends with the deep state and plan to get all the adrenochrome from all the orphans, or just to go find Bumblebee and beat his ass good cuz their bad guys. Let me tell y'all though, Jet Boy and Jet Girl are so bad that they don't even care that the government is listening when they reveal that they are planning on bringing a Decepticon Invasion and after they rough up Bumblebee real good they are going to destroy all life on this planet. So they start by killing a military scientist.

John Cena is after Bumblebee and he's homies with Jet Boy and Jet Girl until the military scientist butt dials him and he hears the evil plan. John Cena goes from heel to face and helps Bumblebee and Charlie save the day. It's a giant CG clusterfuck climax a la any superhero film in the last 10 years and I basically stopped watching. BumbleBee pulls a Hellraiser on Jet Boy, and then he hits Jet Girl with a freaking boat. Charlie uses her diving skills do dive down and save him, but he's a Giant Robot and he was okay and it was literally pointless for her to to except as a way to show that her character has completed her arch by doing the thing that was representative of her connection with her lost father.

Bumblebee turns into the Camaro from the first movie, meets up with Optimus prime, and the stage is set for this prequel to squeeze more prequels out. So it wasn't very creative, but was it bad? Let's find out.

Please Stand to receive the Benediction.

Best Aspect: Transform the Franchise

Bumblebee was directed by Travis Knight of Laika fame and it shows. This movie marks a stylistic change in the transformers franchise, as in it doesn't look like utter dog shit, but it also represents in many ways a tonal shift. It does hold on to a lot of gross sleaze that has unfortunately been forcibly jammed into the DNA of the franchise but it also attempts to be a more heartfelt entry. The characters of Bumblebee might all be sort of a waste of time, but at least they are doing something with emotions, even if the emotions of the characters are only explored as deeply as a children's cartoon I'm glad they are there. In the previous installments the only thing the characters did between running from action piece to seizure inducing action piece was drool over underage girls like a bunch of chimpanzees at the facility where they test experimental E.D. meds. It was nice to see that at least somewhat tampered. This transformers movie feels more like it's for kids and young teenagers, and strangely that more friendly tone makes for a much less juvenile product.

Worst Aspect: Remember I Love the 80s from the 2000s

I hope you really like Stranger Things. I do, but because Stranger Things was so successful it' s going to be everywhere. Not true Stranger Things just 80s nostalgia porn. This 80s nostalgia is going to be forced on you whether you like it or not, and it's not going to be fun. It's gonna be in your shows, in your music, in your Sunday like Bacon in 2010. It's that or Marvel Franchise Brand Whedonisms. Bumblebee is that brave movie that says, "Why not both?" It would seem fitting that a property as quintessentially 80s as Transformers should feel completely comfortable doing a period piece set in the 80's but it's so fucking half hearted it's depressing. It wasn't done to appreciate the roots of the IP, it was done to cash in on a trend and it feels it. All they did was throw up a date and insufferably force an 80s soundtrack down your throat as if that was enough to convince you that this movie needed to be set during this time. Other than that you could have told me this film was set in 2007 and I couldn't tell you any different.

Best Character: Charlie's an Angel

I liked Charlie. Sure her Arc is predictable, her taste is dumb, and she isn't exactly a master of her own destiny to any degree. But at least she is a woman in a transformers movie who's got something going on. Sure she's defined entirely by grief, but that sure is better than pretending that being able to work on cars is a feminist character trait instead of a weird fetish thing. They certainly do that thing with Charlie, but at least it's not the only thing they throw at the wall. Bumblebee is by no means out of the woods in this department, but it garners a lot of goodwill for trying. Like a racist uncle who just started his journey out of ignorance, but hasn't yet realized he has to stop asking mortifying questions to the barista at Starbucks. Okay, maybe that's an extreme metaphor. I'm saying that perhaps Charlie is not a great character but she's a great character for a Transfomers movie.

Worst Character: It's JOOOOHHHNNNN CEEEENA!!!!

Why is John Cena in this movie? I don't hate the guy, but his character seems pointless. You could remove him from the movie completely and replace him with any one of the random military goons at any point and it changes nothing. What was with that dumb salute at the end? It seems like they put him in this movie in post and it was just to pump up cast list. I wish he was given anything to work with. I can't remember his characters name, and it's not like John Cena did a bad job, I was just annoyed every time they kept giving him hero shots. I felt like I was watching a trailer for a different movie.

Best Actor: Optimal Primo!

Every time Peter Cullen speaks I want to listen. There's a reason they haven't had Chris Pratt or somebody with a bigger name come in and take over the role at this point. He's why the audience keep coming back. Peter Cullen IS Optimus Prime, and there's no changing that. He also wins twice. He's the best actor in the movie AND he's barely in the movie. Good call Peter.

Worst Actor: Mean Girls 2, Meaner and Girlier

I don't want to be cruel so I'm not going to go into to much detail, but there's an actress in this film who's performance is so mustache twirlingly evil and stupid that it ruined my suspension of disbelief when i knew going in that i was about to endure a 2 hour toy commercial about robots that turn into cars. Beldar Conehead was a more convincing human being than Tina.

Best Effect: Goo Be Gone

I really appreciated when the bad guys shot the government nerd into a blast of snot. That was pretty fun for me. Best part of the movie hands down.

Worst Effect: Live Action?

Bumblebee is a cartoon. It's a great looking cartoon but it doesn't sell itself that way. If we were doing a Roger Rabbit thing I'd have no gripes. However, I think CG is just getting worse. I'm criticizing this and it's still lightyears better than the previous entry's on the franchise. No transformation or fight sequence in Bumble Bee had me straining to make sense of what I was looking at. I think it was a great idea to start using some basic shapes and outlines to these characters, and return somewhat to their 80s designs. But at certain points, especially when there were no humans in the shot, i was pretty convinced I was watching Clone Wars. There may not be anyway around this, as the Transformers concept might not be able to be pulled off in any more effective manner. It's a minor gripe, but I just didn't think it looked like anything other than a very expensive cartoon, and in this franchise that's a compliment, because it least it looked like SOMETHING!

Best Scene: Space Opera

I am not a Transformers fan. I missed the boat on the cartoon as a kid. I would sometimes catch it at friends houses but I was more into Batman, Star Wars, and Ninja Turtles. By the time I came onto the scene the world had moved on to Beast Wars. I did one day arbitrarily decide that my favorite Transformer was Sound Wave. He looked great in this. I am a big fan of the return to form with a lot of the character designs in this. They really did keep the things that worked from the other adaptations, and they are steadily removing the things that didn't. For this reason, the scenes on Cybertron, particularly the battle with Soundwave (i prefer for personal reasons) looked great and were exciting to watch. I remember thinking Cybertron used to look like a Marilyn Manson shot a music video from inside to dumpster. This is so much better.

Worst Scene: Blocking the Box

There's a scene in Bumblebee where Charlie's family decides the best way to save their daughter was to cause a pile up of vehicles in an intersection, and it's pure contrived writing that saved any character in that sequence from being killed in a horrific traffic accident. It was stupid, played for laughs, and it wasn't exciting as much as it was anxiety inducing. I also thought that there was no reason the covert military group covering up extraterrestrial life wouldn't just disappear this family of fucking morons in their little piece of shit car. The logic of the scene was just so childish like, "No they won't hit me, I'm a good person."

Summary

Bumblebee may be remembered fondly in a decade. I think especially if the Transformers franchise were to end here. It didn't get the publicity of the other films, and that really is a shame. For my money, this was the best Transformers movie so far. I was very tempted to give Bumblebee a C, it does just enough to right what was wrong from the other movies to make me appreciate all that work. This movie has heart, and if you are at all into Transformers then l think you should see it. It's still pretty stupid, and pretty basic. It's not offering anything new to the genre, and it feels like a commercial for more movies. I really wish we could just get movies that want to tell a story. I thought it over and decided that it wasn't fair not to grade Bumblebee on it's own merits. Bumblebee is substantially better than the films that preceded it, but that's not saying a lot, when the films that preceded it are joyless exercises in self abuse.

Overall Grade: D

[x-exo]

*slides into your asks with a rose in my mouth* why hello, tis me!

Apologies for the long wait but your favorite long asks anon is here and OOF so much has happened. Let us break it down one by one lol

Monsta x our beans, welp we can officially say we are army wives for them because shownu is now at the military and just welp this feels weird lol. I lowkey forgot he was meant to enlist so when the news came out I went through so many emotions. Its why the latest comeback feels a bit bittersweet to me. It is their BEST for sure and for this year, I agree so to not see him perform right before he left is a bit sad. I don't blame him of course (if anyone does i am fish slapping you) but just a shame. I'm happy we do get content with him still? Seems pre-planned so that is nice!

Onto legends exo, fantastic comeback. I cannot stop listening to the album, its just bops full of bops to me. They broke so many records and I'm over here sipping my tea because fudge yes. It isn't a full member comeback, 2 of the members featured in the comeback are off playing call of duty and they still did THAT. While having lay properly in the comeback!? (Or at least some form, better than tempo era!) Kyungsoo my beloved, the man that can swoon you off your feet, his proper solo album. Omg I am just in love? The album feels like a Playlist that you hear while taking a walk or on a raodtrip? I love it, I just love everything about this with how much thought was given. It makes me feel warm and I'm so proud of him (I think he even got a first win) but sadly xiumin got the it shall not be named virus D: I feel so bad and I can only hope he gets better! It makes me worried because I keep seeing more and more idols getting sick and I can't help but wonder why don't the kpop entertainment just put a pause with stuff? Of course that is VERY unrealistic, I am aware that is naive for me to think but its just so idk how to word it properly (my English brain is not working I am sorry) I cannot help the feeling of while I get people are being safe and yes we need to still live like normal beings, is it worth risking idols health just for some entertainment? Idk how to explain my thoughts properly but maybe I hope I made sense!!

Onto svt! That is perfectly fine to not vibe with a comeback! I will admit, I didn't fully vibe with this comeback and it shocked me because every comeback was a hit to me. Even fear, left and right or homerun where I know many fans were split on, I liked but RTL was a grower. For me, listening to it without watching the mv, helped it alot and it is a song I like. Is it their best? No I don't think so but it is alright to say "hey I didn't bop to this, not my cup of tea" (imo I blame the mv? The mv REALLY didn't do the song justice at all, I am sorry if I sound like a fake fan but this mv Just is bad in all aspects. Sure we have some pretty shots but like it just doesn't fit at all?) So if anything listening to the song or wishing the live performances does it better. Seeing the choreography amps the song up more, cannot go wrong with their dancing. As for the rest of the songs, I admit game boy is my top favorite? Idk if it is because I am a gaming nerd and found all the production of the song so creative but yeah. We can wait for the next comeback! Svt always have something up their sleeves, plus we do have their music projects to look forward too (I wonder when we will get one? Seeing as RTL promotions stopped) some positive news with the boys is they resigned like a year before their contract ends and I'm a bit emotional :') I'm excited to see the boys future projects. We did have caratland recently! Did you watch it if I may ask? We did get in the soop confirmation so I'm excited to watch that, the boys deserve that nice break (even if it was filmed for a show fjsbsns)

Ok I think that is it for kpop updates? XD I do hope life has been treating you kindly! Life has been a bit all over the place sadly so I hope it wasn't like that for you as well! Until next time my bean!

hii!!!! omg sorry for the late reply i've been pretty busy these days 🙈

indeed so much has happened! and much more since you sent this ask omg!!

our shownu is at war *looks into the distance* *wipes away tear* *sighs* by now I got used to enlistment news (see what happens when you stan 2nd and 3rd gen groups) but STILL [[IT HURT]] when they uploaded the monchannel videos of his goodbye day like ????? what kind of twisted mind diuhdfuihdifuhs but the boys were all so cute and soft but they seemed so sad they didn't want to let go of their super leader :(( I hope he's learning lots and making new friends (and also we've got our international super spy yoo kihyun giving us small updates on him every now and then so everything's fine!). Yeah I totally get you it felt empty without him this comeback and at first it didn't really clicked with me but when the enlistment news came out i understood he had to take care of his health and thoroughly check on his eye sight in order to be 100% ready for the military so it made sense he had to be absent :( everything was so close (the comeback and enlistment) that I'm sure there was no other way for doing it I'm pretty sure he couldn't maybe postpone the enlistment day any further

onto exo! my ksoo my soft boi my romantic boi 🥺 his album is so him SO HIM i can't explain it bur it's just HIM you know it's the type of album you'd play on loop on a summer afternoon when you've taken your papers and paints outside in the garden to paint a bit with the warm soft breeze moving the trees lightly 🤧 and he signs in English and SPANISH (he did it for me) my multilingual king he's a native. Also I've been watching Honeymoon Tavern with Jongin these days and OMG i could d word for him really (if you haven's watched it go do it when you have time) he's SO SOFT and SO CUTE and he works as a waiter and a wedding planner and helps with the room preparations and is also a tour guide and he's just so cute so happy al the time the way he interacts with everyone is so 🥺🤧😭 onto more serious stuff now: yeah i was so worried about minseok catching covid omg but i'm glad he went through it with our any major complication and the rest of the boys are safe too! I guess the industry doesn't stop bc that would mean a huge loss of thousands and thousands of dollars/won/etc so as long as the gov doesn't prohibit going out or gathering like at the beginning of the pandemic, they'll keep on going with the idols' schedules otherwise the industry would just shut down having no way of earning money to sustain all the companies and idols.

as for seventeen! yeah i like the songs too! the mv sure ruined rtl and listening to it without watching it has really helped it grow on me more but still it feels kind of meh to me idk i really like anyone i think it's my favourite from the album. AND NOW WE'VE GOT A COMEBACK IN OCTOBER!!!! yayyyyy i can't wait they seem to be preparing very diligently (i hope they release a sexy bop) it's a shame junhao aren't gonna be present for this comeback but i'm soooooo happy they have the opportunity to visit their families again omg they have spent 2 whole years without seeing them in the flesh they must be so happy to get back to them again!!! it's so funny seeing them be bored at the quarantine hotel and doing lives every day duhdfiudhfiuh i hope it passes quickly and they can see their loved ones finally! and I did watch Caratland!! omg the unit switch song was the best thing ever hhu doing lilili yabbay and not being able to stop laughing idfuhdifuhs perf team doing chocolate and owning it????? hello??? performance team more like main vocal team wow! and the vocal team being a complete mess during check in lmaooo i loved it! In The Soop has finally started!!! I love these kind of "normal life" concepts I love seeing the boys being themselves cooking and relaxing I've watched the first and second eps as of today and also few clips from the third and omg mingyu and jeonghan drowning in the pond dfuhidfhidfs lmao they're so dumb i love them 🤣 i'm glad they could go away for a few days and spend time together away from their hectic schedules!

I hope you're well now and if not hang in there it'll all pass soon enough! 🥰💕 bye bye!!

p.s.: I got your request for the svt this or that gifset and i promise i’ll do it one day i just don’t feel like giffing these days dhbduusi i’m out of energy 

[firstumcschenectady]

"God, Stress, and Abundant Lives” based on 1 Kings 19:4-8

I'm mad. Mad that we – the big collective we – might have beaten this virus if we trusted our experts and prioritized collective well-being. Mad that we “can't have nice things” still, EVEN THOUGH science provided amazing vaccines in an unbelievably short time. Mad that I have to make decisions no one– including me – likes because the first rule of John Wesley is “first do no harm” and I really believe we have to do that.

But, a friend sent an article this week that pointed out that I'm not mad. I just think I'm mad. Or, more so, that anger is a secondary emotion that works well to mask primary emotions. The article said the emotion that I'm actually feeling is fear. (Note: do not try this at home. Do not tell someone what they're “really feeling” when they tell you what they ARE feeling. Really, truly. DO NOT DO THIS. The article got away with it by taking about generic people and I personalized.) The article speaks about people choosing not to be vaccinated and vaccinated people's anger responses:

Though this new flavor of outrage might look and sound like righteous indignation, mental health professionals say that what’s behind it is fear.

“It’s scary to admit that somebody else has power over you and you’re at their mercy and you’re afraid of them, but showing that is not a very American ideal,” said David Rosmarin, an associate professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and a clinician at McLean Hospital. “Instead of expressing that fear, it’s a lot more comfortable to blame somebody else.”

Anger is what people in his profession refer to as a “secondary emotion.” It’s a feeling that arises in response to a more primal emotion, like fear and anxiety over having some aspect of your life threatened. “The reality is that there are millions of people who are miseducated about something, they’re making a big mistake that will have massive consequences that might affect you and your family and that makes you scared,” Rosmarin said. “But nobody is saying that.”1

That article also says that part of what people are struggling with is that this was always going to be a “long war” but we didn't get that message from the outset. That fits for me too, I deal better when I have my expectations set correctly.

Two years ago I preached on this passage from 1 Kings 19, and afterwards several of you mentioned that you could hear in it my yearning for a break. (It was fairly soon before my renewal leave.) I hadn't meant to be that transparent then, and it makes me want to be a little bit cautious now, but....the story hasn't changed.

This remains a story of Elijah, prophet of God who has worked diligently for what he believed God wanted him to do. The response to his faithfulness has been a threat of murder that came directly from the palace.

Elijah is too tired to fight anymore. He fled for his life, but in the midst of the flight he lost even the will to live.

He prays, asking God to let him die, which would at least be less violent than the death otherwise planned for him. He'd walked into the desert for a day, and when he prayed he sat under a single broom tree, the only bit of respite he could find. The Bible seems to suggest this is a particularly sad story, it is the same one told of Hagar, having walked into the desert, exhausted her provisions, sat under a broom, and prepared to die. Just like with Hagar though, God meets Elijah there.

You may already know how much I love this story. He falls asleep, and wakes up when provisions have arrived. He eats, he drinks, he falls back asleep. When he awakes, provisions have arrived. He eats, he drinks, AND THEN he was able to go on.

I really love that he needs to sleep, eat, drink, sleep, eat, and drink before he can rouse himself. He has gone far beyond the “have a cup of coffee and keep going” point. He is exhausted. He is out of will power. He is out of a will to LIVE. If I were writing this story though, I'd add in some breathing. “He took intentional deep breathes until he was able to slow his body enough to sleep...” and then the rest of the story. It would make it just a smidge better.

Probably because of the book I just read, I'm noticing that the story as written (and more so as adapted), Elijah is given the chance to “complete the stress cycle” in this story. The book is “Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle” written by Emily and Amelia Nagoski. In their opening chapter, they distinguish between stressors and stress. They point out that we need to complete the stress cycle, no matter what is happening with the stressors. And they name, concretely, how to do that. The first and best option is to “do literally anything to move your body enough to get you breathing deeply” for 20-60 minutes a day.2 Elijah walking into the desert for an entire day seems to qualify.

The Nagoski sisters offer 6 other ways to complete the cycle though: 1. “deep, slow breaths down regulate the stress response”3, 2. positive social encounters (even causal ones), 3. laughter – but the real deep belly laughter kind, 4. physical affection from someone you trust (they suggest a 6 second kiss between partners or a 20 second hug with someone you like, snuggling a pet), 5. crying, and 6. creative expression. In other chapters they also talk about meditation and spiritual connection, so I'm going to add a #7 – whatever prayer practices work for you. They're suggesting that we do at least one of these, and better many of these, every day. Because the stressors keep coming at us. And their book was written in 2019, so it is WAY MORE TRUE today.

So Elijah. He took a long walk (check), I'm all for pretending he took some slow breaths, he maybe had a positive encounter with the angel? (does that count??), and I'm quite sure he cried a lot, the Bible just forgot to mention it. He also took care of his bodily needs for rest, nourishment, and hydration. (Chapter 7 of their book is all about rest.) He also named his despair to God, and naming emotions has a lot of power too.

This little story has a lot of good responses to despair and burnout. Which is good, because many of us are in despair and/or burnout in at least some aspects of our lives.

The pandemic has challenged all of us. The challenges have differed, because we're different, but we've all been challenged. Having another wave is definitely not helping anybody. We're mad, whether or not that's a primary emotion, sad, fearful, and maybe even detached. We're exhausted.

And most of us are comfort seeking. We want things to be easier. We NEED things to be easier. We're looking for things that sooth, ease, comfort, and console. Often, we're looking for things to be “back to normal,” familiar, and make sense like we're used to. We're human. That's how we work.

Another facet of how we work is that when we're in high stress, we revert to earlier and lower levels of emotional functioning. We blame. We over react. We fight. We flee. We gossip. We triangulate. We take all our anxiety and we try to get rid of it by sharing it with others or throwing it at them. This too is human. It is how we work.

No one I know is operating at their best right now. We can't.

What we can do is seek to complete the stress cycles – we can't change most of the stressors, but we can give ourselves the best possible chance to change the stress. Our bodies, minds, and spirits are all connected, they're all “us.” When we care for each of them, we give all of them a chance to do better.

I believe that God calls us all to life abundant. To full, meaningful, connected lives. To spiritual depth and work that matters and relationships that give life. Elijah went from that broom tree to the Mount of Horeb where he deepened his relationship with God, and then on to meet his protege Elisha and started to pass on his labor to the next generation. It wasn't God's intention that Elijah struggle alone, or burn himself out. It isn't God's will that we struggle alone nor burn ourselves out either. God wishes for full, abundant lives for us all. That's part of why we take care of each other, and share love in the world. So, dear ones, I encourage you to complete your stress cycles, name your emotions, connect with your dear ones, engage in prayer, and live life as abundantly as you can. God wants it for us, we want it for each other, and the world needs us as healthy as we can be! May God help us. Amen

1 https://www.statnews.com/2021/08/02/belated-realization-that-covid-will-be-a-long-war-sparks-anger-denial/

2 Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski Burnout: The Secret to Unlokcing the Stress Cycle (New York: Ballantine Books, 2019) p. 14.

3 Nagoski, 15.

[bbq-hawks-wings]

If your interested, I also mentioned that Apollo was the god of oracles and prophecy. And there was that prophecy about Endeavor bringing everyone's demise in the form of Dabi :) even if he wasn't mentioned by name, we know he's the 'darkness' Endeavor's light will summon. And to fit in with that more, Dabi killing Endeavor will erase him from the narrative, which is like the dreams he was having.

(Continued) If Dabi = Apollo, and to Apollo, Hawks were his messenger birds then hmm whatdya think? *nudge nudge* He! Knows! The! Thing! Horikoshi is probably mixing a lot of stories. Someone once wrote that Icarus fell all the way down to Tartarus, but I can't find any source for that. We know he drowned at sea, but is there anything written on what happened after in detail or is that it? I'd also like to mention, while we're on the topic of myths.

(Continuing) Hawks' eyes are similar to the eyes of Horus/Ra are they not? His eyes are a big deal in the manga, and Ra is known as 'The Hidden One' Now we know Hawks is always hiding himself behind his feathers, there's at least three specific panels of him doing that. The MOST INTERESTING part is that Ra has many names, and one is secret, because knowing that would mean having power over him. (Applies to Dabi too in a way tbh.) but! We're thinking of Keigo Takami here ;)

(Last part) And Dabi held the power over him when he shouted it out and made Hawks lose his cool there. Bonus: Horus lost his left eye in a war with Set, and Dabi's foot was on Hawks' left eye and burned it. - anon from Foxy's tags.

I am VERY interested in the extended/multiple myth angle, particularly in regards to Hawks, Foxy anon. (Thanks for dropping by to talk, btw.) I've read everything over that you've sent, and if it's okay, I'd like to review your thoughts and chime in at the end with my own. I'm going to do it under the cut, though, because this is going to get long. Lol

I absolutely agree with you that Dabi is likely either a front-runner or the main agent of darkness summoned by Endeavor's light. The concept of the prophecy was introduced in canon, and I don't doubt Horikoshi plans to explicitly bring it up again. Considering Dabi's supposed dark connections to Endeavor's past he's a prime candidate to knock Endeavor out of the sky. When you combine this with the fact that Dabi's hair is black while Touya's appears to be snow white with the character for "light" spelled out in his name, it's hard to believe Dabi won't have some major role to play in this prophecy. The thematic idea that Apollo/Touya, as this more symbolic role than anything, in the background gives Hawks this prophecy to pass on about the incoming darkness is also not unlikely.

I'm not so sure the Hawks = Horus-Ra angle tracks as cleanly, though. Still, I'll follow your thought process first and give it the benefit of the doubt when discussing it before adding my thoughts. I'll be referring to Horus and Ra as the same entity as from my cursory research they were occasionally combined into the same deity and both share some nominal similarities with Hawks. Please also note Egyptian mythology is not my strong suit, and it has its own complexities I'm unfamiliar with. I'm only working with what I know and can research on the surface.

The note about his eyes are fascinating considering the fact that the Eye of Horus and the Eye of Ra are both major, destinct parts of the Egyptian mythology as well as having their own separate symbolic meanings and power - The right Eye of Ra representing the sun and having associations with aggression and destruction while the left Eye of Horus, representing the moon, was associated with healing, sacrifice, protection and wisdom - even being referred to as "the all-seeing eye."

Yet as potentially rich and interesting this angle is, I'm not entirely sure it's close enough to canon to stick.

My first objection starts with his proposed equivalence to Ra who is considered king of the gods and creator of all things as well as the personification of the sun itself. Imo, this is just too lofty of a position to accurately attribute to Hawks. Despite losing the sweet "bird of prey" aesthetic, I think Thoth would probably be a better fit as the god of the moon and writing, particularly as he restores the Eye of Horus. There's also the issue of which eye is burned and the significance of them - seeing as Hawks' left eye was burned, which according to this theory would be the Eye of Horus, it would make more sense for this to read as Hawks losing his motivation to work for those more selfless, positive qualities that up to this point have defined his character and leave only the Eye of Ra, the more destructive and violent tendencies, to reign unless some other character embodying Thoth restored it for him.

This premise of the right and left eyes on its own is positively dope and has a Shonen series begging to be made of it. However, I find it too far removed from the proven inspiration of HeroAca so far to be much more than a neat thought exercise for our purposes today. At least for the moment it would make sense to stick closer to the Greco-Roman angle we have at the moment, especially considering how closely tied together Dabi, Endeavor, and Hawks canonically are. If the Icarus story is meant to be the case as well and we wanted to flesh out Hawks individually more, I could see an angle that keeps the bird motif as well as the consequences of Daedalus/Endeavor's hubris directly impacting him as well.

Nevertheless, with the Egyptian aspect set to the side for now and sticking to our speculation around the Icarus myth for the moment, I'd like to posit that if Horikoshi is actually intending to take the larger mythos around Daedalus to explain the dynamics of these characters Hawks will be playing the role of one or two myths outside of merely acting as Dabi/Icarus' tattered wings. It requires some creative liberties to work; but nothing I'd consider too outside the realm of reason to break it.

Long before the tower, and even the birth of Icarus himself, Daedalus had an apprentice - either Talos or Perdix depending on the source. This apprentice was brilliant - even more so than Daedalus himself - and looked up to him to emulate him in his admiration of him. Though in this myth Daedalus commits the upcoming crime himself out of jealousy of his apprentice, if we tweaked it to mean "due to Daedalus' jealousy, Talos/Perdix was pushed out of a tower to his demise" the angle still works depending on the direction the manga takes. Athena - goddess of wisdom, and interesting in the context of HeroAca, the clever, noble, and positive aspect of war - looked on Talos/Perdix with favor and before he could be killed by the fall was transformed into a partridge who, remembering his past life, never soared or climbed to high places again and only nests close to the ground.

Like the other roles it's a stretch, and we really don't have enough canon material to work with to prove it either way, but a couple of notes in particular gives this theory enough merit for me to keep tucked in the back of my head as we go on.

A more direct, cause and effect relationship with Endeavor should he actually be playing the role of Daedalus.

The specific note of admiration and subsequent betrayal leading to the younger's downfall due to the previously unknown envy of the older.

If this myth pertains to events that have already happened in the manga (i.e. the fall of Talos/Perdix was Hawks' "adoption" by the HPSC) the low-dwelling partridge transformation fits not only because of Hawks' humble and wary nature but because of the symbolic blessing of Athena in particular being the catalyst for the change.

If this is meant to be indicative of events that will happen in the future (Hawks' burned wings, the epiphany about Endeavor, etc) it still works whether Hawks gets his wings back or not. In the case he doesn't he will be a grounded bird, though far from useless and still radiant; and if he does it leaves open the opportunity to squeeze in another myth - that of the Phoenix - instead of the partridge which ties in much more strongly with the theme of transformation and rebirth while keeping with the bird motif as well as ties in Endeavor's personal trademark of fire. This second ending also has the potential to work thematically whether Hawks forgives Endeavor or not depending on the interpretation - the Phoenix rises again reborn despite the fire, or the fire itself gives the Phoenix new life to soar again.

In this case, both Perdix and Icarus fall from high towers due to Daedalus' hubris - the first lured there out of false pretense through no fault of his own and the second out of desperation and even mania to escape and live his own life; but notably, while Icarus loses his wings and falls to his doom, Perdix reaches the ground safely and continues on to live on transformed as a new being.

Again, this is all speculation, and Horikoshi can crush our dreams completely with a single chapter release, but the thought experiment is fun even if I wasn't sure every myth brought up quite works with the canon revealed to us so far, and I get the added bonus of learning about new mythologies I might otherwise not have looked into myself.

Thanks for dropping these in my inbox, anon! I know I may have shot down the Egyptian myth part a bit in regards to fitting with canon, but your points make for killer AU potential! Are there any other characters you see as having parallels to Egyptian gods - other AUs I’ve seen have given Dabi the role of Anubis, for example? I'd love to hear more!

[salvatoreschool]

Legacies boss breaks down its most memorable monsters, previews a few to come

Just like every story needs a hero — or heroes — every Super Squad needs a good villain. On Legacies, that's something the series delivers on a weekly basis.

When Legacies first premiered, it faced a difficult task: As the third show in the Vampire Diaries universe, how would is both seamlessly fit into the world fans knew and loved while also creating its own identity outside of both The Vampire Diaries and The Originals? And one of the key ways it was able to do just that was through its monsters. While the series that came before it were much more serialized — and generally less adventurous when it came to their Big Bads — Legacies came out swinging with a creative monster-of-the-week format, along with a more serialized arc of course, that has given fans everything from a dragon to Krampus (and soon ... a leprechaun).

"We have an incredibly talented monster department between [Creative FX Department Head] Mark Villalobos and [Creative FX Assistant Department Head] Heather Mages," says executive producer Brett Matthews. "As writers we'll pull references to let them know what we're thinking — is this a scary monster is it a funny monster? — and we have a lot of conversations about that at the beginning, and then Mark and Heather go away and work with their team and produce a sketch that we give notes on. And a lot of times we see that sketch and go, 'You guys really think you can achieve this?' And almost every time they do and a lot of times they exceed expectations. But generally it ends up looking pretty close to that."

In the beginning, much of the monster talk focused around what was possible. Could they pull off a practical monster, a.k.a. a man in a suit, just as well as something that involves more visual effects? And that's where the gargoyle came in.

"That was one of our very early monsters so it was a stress test for the mythology of the show and what we could achieve practically. Because that monster's almost 100 percent practical," says Matthews. "That's a guy in a suit and could we do that in a way that didn't look cheesy, could we achieve the show more practically than going the visual effects route for everything? I think that's the great success of that episode is that creature design."

In terms of story, the gargoyle was also the series' first monster with a specific backstory. "They're historically protectors and we liked that about it, we liked that turn about him choosing not to murder at the end," Matthews says, teasing that fans might see the gargoyle again in season 3.

Seeing as how most monsters aren't brand new creations, Matthews says, "We start with history because that's the public perception of what something looks like and then we always put it through the Legacies filter." For something like the dryad, it was about finding that balance between her being "at once monstrous and incredibly beautiful."

The dryad wasn't what Matthews calls a "name-brand monster," but rather something lesser-known. "We try to play the hits, we try to play dragon and give you the merman and the mummies and the name-brand monsters but it's also fun to really poke into monsters that people just haven't heard of that have their own rich mythology, and that's something you'll see us continue to do in season 3. There are some very specific monsters from some very specific regions that people may never have heard of, but that's part of the fun of it."

One example of the show using a better-known monster, Krampus has been seen across pop culture many times. So then the question became: How will the Legacies version of a well known creature vary? "Our version of the Krampus was probably a little less horrific than public perception because he's stealing your children and taking bad children away and eating them, so we avoided that element of it," says Matthews. "But he was pretty gross. A lot of the Krampus stuff was too gross to use, so some of that didn't make the show."

Matthews is also quick to point out that for all of their practical monsters, the final piece of the puzzle is the performer in the suit. (And yes, sometimes it's the same person playing multiple monsters. ) "No matter how good the suit is, the person who goes in it is ultimately what gives it that personality, that life," Matthews says.

And often times for these monsters, the devil really is in the details, because nobody's going to forget the qareen's chin anytime soon. "Jason Voorhees is this scary guy who runs through the woods but the hockey mask is the thing that makes that character iconic, it is that detail," says Matthews. "Even the Krampus, his eyes are red and green, so they all have these hyper-specific things that hopefully stick with you because those are the things that make monsters memorable. We try to treat the monsters like a character and so it's always, 'What would make sense in this design and also on a technical level, what do we need this monster to do in this episode and how can we free the performer in the suit up to do their thing?' The qareen is a very extensive application of a suit. The chin and the details stay with you."

Some monsters have the look ... and just a little something extra. The Necromancer began as the show's version of Death. "We wanted to do a character in that sphere, somebody who had a hand in the living and the dead," Matthews says. Cut to season 3 and the Necromancer is still playing a large part in the show's story.

"When we got into the voice of the character, he became this pompous asshole of a guy and then he became a real character that we knew would have a live within the show rather than just an episodic threat," says Matthews. "He's got his own story. He's just really petty. He has a very small drive that he's willing to go to grandiose lengths to preserve, and the notion that his legacy is lost is enough to drive him to the heights of villainy. He's clearly a monster without equal in terms of screen time and the journey he's been on and it's a journey that will continue in season 3. Ben Geurens is just a brilliant actor. It's kind of like how Crowley became a major player on Supernatural. Sometimes you get an actor and a part that just fit."

Along with the Necromancer, Legacies' third season will also feature a few new monsters, including the Lady of the Lake, who escapes from Malivore in the season 3 premiere. "That one's kind of ripped from the headlines," says Matthews.

The episode is titled "We're Not Worthy," and will bring a very old legend to the show. "It was a fun way to do something very medieval that also fit very much into our world and gave the Super Squad, who are hopeless, literally and figuratively int hat episode, a very stiff challenge to overcome," says Matthews. "That one's a little more straight ahead and a little more classic than we often do, but as with all things, it devolves into the technicalities and has a fun wrinkle that makes it modern hopefully that people will enjoy."

EW has a look at some concept art of another upcoming monster: A leprechaun. "At a time where the Salvatore School requires funding, this leprechaun comes into the world and gives you a window into greed and what is right and wrong and what is the responsibility of people when it comes to using their supernatural abilities for good or for ill," says Matthews. "And in typical Legacies fashion he's like a grubby little monster and a more monstrous version of the creature we all know. This one has murder on his mind."

Legacies airs Thursdays at 9 p.m. ET on The CW.

[mochuelovelli]

Some Alt. Jobs for the Kids in the Future:

Mainly doing this as just a thought experiment. Usually people are of one mind on what the kids will *probably* be when they are older(myself included) so I wanted to give some alts that could fit their personalities.

Louie-Manger/Agent:Making this list mainly for him because I recalled Princess Carolyn from BoJack and how her job could fit Louie pretty well. Ik a lot of people headcanon Lawyer! Louie, I do too, but I think this would be a fun idea.

A manager's job is basically finding ways to get their client's hired or trying to tailor a client's project in order for it to be marketable. We already seen Louie do this in his ep this season but I think it be cool if became a legit job for him. He's still a McDuck ward so nothing with his business would be "normal" and he would have to do similar "schemes" to get his clients jobs, especially if they are inter-dimensional goat demons.

Louie would probably say the reason he became a manager would be "because I've been trying to convince people I am good enough my entire life, might as well make a career out of it". Edgy ik, but this is Louie we are talking about of course he say some dumbshit.

Dewey-YouTube Personality: this is probably just a less popular hc rather than one that's not talked about at all like the Louie (or the next couple examples). For me, I can't see Dewey being anything but some kind of globe trotting adventurer who would also record it for views. But in the case that DIDN'T happen, I think he'd become a youtube personality and make shows with his friends and family. I think it be really cute, that even as they grown older and become more independent, Dewey can still find ways to bring them all to his house to be apart of his youtube show(s) where he and a guest try to guess obscure history facts Webby comes up with (Watchers know what I'm talking about) or where he and some friends try to solve unsolved mysteries or try and bake without a recipe (im really showing what content i watch).

His Youtube channel would be sporadic like, "series" but he doesn't make actual playlists (Huey or Violet do) and uploads whatever he wanted to do that week. Good thing is, he never misses an upload date. Almost.

Huey-Military Engineer/Tech Guy (IE better Beaks): I had the hardest time with figuring out Huey since like Webby, he can pretty much be in any field to me (as long as its stem related). This suggestion to me is the least chill out of all of them but I picked it because 1. Huey likes structure and chain of command and 2. Science and defense systems.

Out of his brothers, Huey isn't the most WORRIED about safety but he definitely is the one who would do something about it to fix it. I can see him making some intergalactic defense systems and various prevention junk. Maybe he works under Gosalyn's administration[see gos] or he makes "unnatural-natural phenomenon" protection stuff. Kinda like the seawalls in Venice but like, stuff to make sure the Earth doesn't get destroyed because of all the crazy shit the duckverse has. Like ghost forcefields or the reversal of timephoons. I don't think he would be a Tony Stark character tho so I am not 100% with this one.

He could also just be a tech guy, but yknow, better than Mark Beaks. He accidentally has more followers than him would crush him in twitter fights (an example would be something along the Logan Paul vs Chris D'Elia). I find this just really funny, Huey would actually be what all those "good guy billionaires" claim to be (also he wouldn't be one just as a matter of principle). Owlson would probably be his mentor or maybe just business partner.

Webby-Comic Artist/Cartoonist: Webby, to me, can pretty much go into any field and I would be like "yeah makes sense". However I know in my heart she'd be some kind of spy or detective. Thinking about her being anything else was honestly kinda hard but then I realized she DOES have another hobby which could be turn into a career - her drawings and stories. Webby is definitely a creative person, maybe the most creative so far in front of or slightly behind Dewey, so I think she would like to make comics and cartoons.

If you want to be angsty, maybe she chooses this mundane route because she was somewhat conditioned by her granny (or her creators if theories are to he proven right) to be a super spy; choosing to be a cartoonist is something she was never trained to become and yet she still did because it's something SHE wanted to do for herself.

Lena-Poet/Song Writer: okay another one that might not be uncommon but I like to just see it thrown out there. Lena is cool in large part because of her magic but in a possible similar motivation to Webby, she wanted to be a poet not only because she was good at it but because she wanted to be. This doesn't have to be her main hussle, usually I don't see it as such, but I also think it be cute if she became a new Robert Frost (this is the only poet ik sorry).

Violet-Cosmologist: Most people see Violet as either some kind of chemist, professor, or occasionally a witch. I think another good alt tho would be cosmology since Violet herself wants to understand the world around her, which is a bit different from Huey who wants to obtain knowledge for knowledge sake in the case it might come in handy though not extremely. Cosmology as field in the dt universe must be WILD too since im pretty sure most scientists know of all the magic and junk, in fact I wouldn't be surprised if there was a legit subject on it or multiple. Trying to make sense of YOUR universe while knowing others exist along with time travel, possibly multiple after lifes? Its a lot. Perfect job for Vi.

Boyd-Therapist/architect: I feel like this isn't such a niche hc, but I do see more folks make him into his own superhero and/or an accountant. I might be playing into the Baymax stereotype of robots being good mental health assistants but idc, I think it's warranted since he has gone through and understands trauma. Maybe he focuses on those who need rehabilitation or are unable to get paid treatment. Maybe he just helps those who have committed crimes. Another alt is that he becomes an architect, building well planned buildings and public spaces in a flash by utilizing his vast abilities. He might even be commissioned to make space colony housing.

Gosalyn-Politican: Alright so, Gosalyn being a superhero like her dad is like, canon but again in an alt universe where it WASN'T (or maybe later in her life) I can see her becoming political. Frank even laid out some of what inspired this iteration of Gosalyn which included notable political activists, so as of rn its not that far of a stretch to say she might be interested in that. I have a feeling its happens because she gets riled up for something in particular rather than she always wanted to be a career politician or whatever. She would definitely be a less polished politician and that be her appeal, she'd kinda be like an AOC in that regard(im sorry I tried really hard not to name drop political figures but-). An example of her "abnormal" diplomacy tactics is where she stopped Ragnarok semi permanently by absolutely wrecking their shit. (She be dramatic about it like her dad, coming in her normal President wear and then throw it off to reveal some crazy wrestling shit. Louie would also make a lot of money that day.)

[brooke-the-poet]

The Fantasy Adventure Trope and Autistics.

Currently I am fascinated with narrative framing. The structure of a story and how that gives us the meanings that we draw from it.  

What I have noticed is that neurodivergent consciousness isn't taken into consideration very often. In fact many narratives, especially in children's literature and films have a gaslighting affect when it comes to the experiences of neurodivergent children.

Children who are different are portrayed as having an overactive imagination, big emotions or too reserved, shy, afraid, a little adult, low impulse control, not very social, bullied at school and are ignored by adults.

This jumble of traits pretty much fits most neurodivergents. But just enough so that they are endearing and don't seem "too weird".

Unfortunately many children are thought of in the same vein as the biblical prodigal son. Disabilities and difficulties are seen as trials to be fixed, or to fix "us" as if we need some form of chastising.

That our ways are wrong and we choose to bring difficulty on ourselves by not ignoring the things everyone else ignores and doing what everyone else does.

 People expect neurodivergent children to be doormats and when they are shoved into that role they naturally become distressed and hide or rebel.

Such children then go on a magic adventure, where they learn about who they are as a person and then return home better off than when they left, able to cope and function better in their world.

That's a very general idea of the plots of most magic adventures. And there's nothing wrong with that, if indeed that is what is occurring.

But too often it is not.  Most of these narratives portray the child as in need of a rude awakening, again with the prodigal image, spoiled, lack of discipline, bad attitude, needing to burn off energy, needing confidence, needing change over all.

And how this occurs is through what is known as exposure therapy.  A theorized technique where non-biological anxiety is reduced through exposure to the source of the anxiety.

This does not work on neurodivergents nor many with trauma related conditions. It only serves to burn out energy and destroy our nervous systems and peace of mind if we had any to begin with.

The adventure supposedly  leads the child to become used to physical stress, work and decision making. It assumes that the child has had no trauma or stress before this. That their difficulties came from being uncooperative with adults.  What it comes down to is that it is the child that needs to change, not their world.

And what that means for the neurodivergent child whose experience of the world can not change through a change in attitude, is that they are made to feel flawed, that unlike the "good" children in those stories, they are bad.

Which leads them to hiding their difficulties and masking. And if they are autistic, the feeling of being nonhuman increases significantly.  

*On a side note: Fantasy gives neurodivergent traits to majority non-human characters. I really do enjoy fantasy but the characters I related to most were the non-humans or the villain, and both.

There are a lot of non-human characters that should just have been human. When only "make believe" species have your sensitivity and traits, it makes it very hard for people to take you seriously. That's a whole other article though.*

Back to narrative:

Two examples come to mind. The German novel "The Neverending Story"  by Michael Ende and and the Japanese film "Spirited Away" by Hayao Miyazaki.

These were big impact stories, I'm only going to cover 3 items from each.

Someone with more energy can dig in deeper.  Also if the plots sound really similar to you, children going off into fantasy worlds and receiving help from dragons, it is because Michael Ende loved Japan and was inspired by Japanese folklore.

His second wife is Japanese and his stories became huge in Japan where he toured and gave lectures and was honoured with his own museum shortly before he passed away.

First, The Never Ending Story.

Yes, the story with Bastian, Atreyu, the child-like empress and my personal favourite, Falcor the luck dragon. Who doesn't love the ending of the film version where he scares the shit out of those bullies as he chases them  into the dumpster?

There are a lot of very good things in this story,  Bastian fits completely the profile of the neurodivergent child,but for those who have read the book there are some glaring details, and Yes, I know all the other interpretations and cultural symbolism going on.

But I'm looking at these from an autistic perspective, being as personal and  literal as possible. Because that is how I viewed them and many others will, as a kid and teenager.

1. Despite Bastian's trauma from school and his mom's death it is up to him to fix his emotionally shut down father.

There's a new term for this, emotional incest. Google that.  Emotionally Bastian has a lot going on,he and his father should really be seeing a therapist.

This topic can be controversial as it crosses into many cultural expectations of what a family is and the required roles within a family.  There are various levels of toxicity that can occur in parent child relationships that result in anger later on in the child. But a parent relying on a child for emotional support is seen as the most benign.

One could say that is traditionally what children are for.  From the outside pushing back at this role looks like "modern selfishness" but the inside reality is that the stress placed on a child who needs support and understanding themselves is damaging. When suppressing growth for a parent, the child does not learn to become an emotionally healthy adult.

For many neurodivergents this can look like carer abuse, infantalisation, a parent guilt tripping for all the work they do for the child. Expecting full loyalty to a parent with punishments imposed for perceived infractions.

Demanding all of a child's time. Not allowing friends, becoming jealous of online friends, hobbies, and anything that takes their attention away from the parent.

Given that as adults many disabled neurodivergents rely on their parents for support, these relationships remain complex and complicated.

2. Spending too much time in your inner world makes you less human.

For those not familiar with the second half of this book, for every wish and fantasy  Bastian lives out he loses his memory and humanity. WTH?

As someone who has memory and dissociation issues this really freaked me out and made me question whether or not my dissociation, frequent need to retreat and loss of self at times was due to me being a bad, selfish person like the townspeople in the book.

Autistics and other neurodivergents have rich inner worlds that are just as real as what is going on outside them.

They are a part of this world as nature, and it is there that we often find and preserve our sense of self instead of getting lost in a sea of others.

Without them we would lose ourselves. Our humanity should never be equated with how much we outwardly participate.

3.  Bastian wasn't capable of being loved before his journey.

When Bastian loses his humanity he nearly kills Atreyu but is stopped. He repents by working hard in a mountain, as a miner where he loses the last of himself, including his name in order to learn selfless love.

Hard stare. Really? Neurodivergents tend to be born selfless it seems, and we have really hard times creating boundaries for ourselves in how much we will give others and are much too open to manipulation because of it.

In my mind Bastian is already doing far too much emotional labour for a child to sustain and shouldn't be required to have to work on top of that  for love to be given him.

More messages towards us about being selfless only harms us and makes us feel guilty for not draining ourselves dry for others.

Reiterating again, that Esoterica and symbolism, metaphors etc...are my special interest, I know what the esoteric symbolism of all this is but most children will not and Will take this aspect literally.

Overall none of his physical issues such as Body positivity, the school and bully situation nor any other issues were addressed. His real fear was part of his "overactive imagination" that he had to overcome.

This gaslights many neurological disabilities and experiences with the world, where synesthesia, sensory processing differences and executive Dysfunction are labelled imaginary and trauma around them is exasperated.

Spirited Away

This is the film that inspired this. Because I loved this. Miyazaki truly knows how to capture the soul of nature.

Some back story about anime you truly need to know before we move on.

If you're autistic, and fan of Anno Hideki creator of Evangelion, also a fellow autistic, who also worked with studio Ghibli, then you probably know what he means when he stated that anime and manga are an inherently autistic medium.  

Paraphrasing Anno: 

Your goal is to reach out and connect with others deeply and emotionally.  

The main way this is achieved is having the emotional interior of people reversed, showing every emotion externally.

In anime all the huge feelings, trauma and anxiety that usually go on inside someone are shown on the outside. This makes it really relatable and easy to connect emotionally to the characters.

Big secret though, non-neurodivergents assume a lot of the emotions are exaggerated and the trials and stages the characters go through are metaphors.

If you are neurodivergent, you know they are not. Many things are literally what is happening to us on the inside, how certain things feel.

I'll give examples when I talk about Spirited Away, but if you are further curious, Google Newtypes from the Mobile Suit Gundam saga and Evangelion.

This unique feature and style, of emotions began in the Tokugawa Era as a form of non-violent rebellion against the imposed socially rigid caste system and militarism of the era that saw creativity as superfluous.

Anything different, mysterious, unknown, imaginative and emotional did not meet the new "social norms" of the shogunate era and were rejected.  

Artists and writers, the creative castes, started making woodblock prints of fantasy scenes and stories in a style now known as manga.

They kept Non-linear, neurodivergent thought and ways of being alive during that violent time period when many creators were imprisoned.  

     Ok, with that on to Spirited Away.  I'm going to focus on Autistic masking. Masking plays a huge role in this story.

Briefly, the plot is: 10 year old Chihiro, on the way to her new home is spirited away with her parents. Going against her instincts she follows them into what turns out to be the holiday and pleasure district of the gods.

Her parents eat the god's food, turn into pigs and Chihiro must then sell herself to the onsen ( bath house) in order to work off the debts of her parents and save them.  

The main characters that I personally relate with in this piece are Haku, the dragon boy/river god,  the Faceless Spirit/Noh Face and the witch Zeneba.

So again, 3 things.

1. Masking, Chihiro is The Mask.

Chihiro, the cool, collected,lovely mixture of innocence and maturity is the mask that many autistic women grew up wearing in order to handle trauma. Be strong, brave and stoic for the sake of others. This is one set of strong messages that the film puts out.     

In the bridge scene where Haku and Chihiro, under an invisibility spell, cross the bridge to the bathhouse; in order to cross without being seen Chihiro must hold her breath.

That is what Autistic masking literally feels like, the fear of being seen, caught and punished for who we are and the sharp pain of inhaled breath held, for too long, and slow suffocation.

             Chihiro's journey  will feel familiar to many young autistics who are learning about themselves and the people around them and how they fit into the social structures here. Chihiro is a foreigner and awkwardly trying to stay out of trouble.

There isn't a structure that fits her.  She's scolded and hindered for simply existing in that space not meant for her. But she has a task to complete, so she has to figure out a way to make things work.

Being survival, task and mission oriented is a strong point of being Autistic. It's part of our ability to be perseverant.

It can be so strong that your mind creates different ways of being to hide and protect the most sensitive parts of itself, to protect the parts that are different.

Chihiro's final line in the film is:

"Don't worry, I think I can handle it."

She's resolute in her maintaining a stoic mask, which is implied as part of growing up.  This message is toxic to Autistics

For a lot of us Autistics this line recalls childhood trauma and masking. The exact phrase we would say to "make things work" for ourselves. Suppressing our needs in order to appear mature and keep our parents and those around us comfortable.

If the bathhouse is supposed to represent life and the social- economic reality, then it's the same reality so many face, forced to change and pretend they fit into society.  This message about masking feels at odds with the "re-discovering your true self" message that we get with Haku.

   The river dragon spirit, Haku literally represents what masking your true self can look like. Under Yubaba he loses sense of his true nature, physically grows pale and steely eyed. He isn't conscious of the spell Yubaba has placed in him. Masking isn't conscious to a lot of Autistics either.

     As an apprentice Haku carries out orders no matter what the danger is to himself. Putting ourselves in harm's way and being abused without us knowing is an outcome of masking. When masking we are in the position of copying others feeling very much like "apprentice non-autistics".

We want to please in order to survive and feel adequate with others. In the scene when Haku is bleeding to death and Yubaba kicks him into the incinerator to be disposed of, that unfortunately is a real emotional outcome to many abusive relationships built through masking. Relationships fail once we burn out.

In order to show his true nature, Haku actively fights inside himself when helping Chihiro. He plays double agent throughout the film. And then has to be saved from himself by Chihiro.

Do I need to be saved from myself?

Do I seem as cold and distant as Haku?

Am I and my masking setting a bad example, a burden to seemingly purer people like Chihiro who haven't quite learned to mask yet?

These questions flitter and linger for a long time. There's a pang of sadness in them.

    It's an extremely complicated issue which is further complicated when navigating personal  boundaries and what is felt to be personally owed to others, it changes with each situation.  

During the train scene when Chihiro is given time to process her predicament you can literally see her mentally forming her mask, the mask that's prepared to take responsibility for others mistakes.

It's the same mask we create to carry the burden of being social and appropriate when no one else is, the mask that self blames and takes up energy.  Chihiro takes responsibility for everything.

There is again that message of sacrificing your well being for others that is pushed. She is the only one actively trying to save both her parents and Haku.

    Being a heroine doesn't have to be about saving others, or being responsible for them, especially when they are capable of finding their own solutions. There are so many different ways to show love and support.  

It isn't about being selfish and just taking care of yourself, for many Autistics and those with multiple disabilities, caring for others in this manner isn't an option but feeling guilty for not doing this is a constant to many.    

   Who this message is being directed to, needs to change. It should not be directed at vulnerable girls or any children who will worry and have anxiety about themselves.

The reality of many situations where change is needed from someone in authority, parent or any other institution is that it fails to occur. Children or other exploited parties are made responsible for that failure.  

If an Autistic fails to fit in, it's never societies fault, the burden of change and guilt is always put on the autistic. And in order to shoulder it, masking occurs.  How long is she going to be able to keep up that tough girl facade?

      2. Home   

     In the opening of the film Chihiro is  upset at what would honestly be devastating for someone who relies on "their world" to make sense of who they are.  Moving, no home to return to. This concept literally is played out with Haku and Noh Face.

Haku's river is destroyed, because of this he loses his identity and falls prey to those who would enslave him.  An identity that changes with physical environment is common. Some autistics, like myself, unconsciously build an identity or mask that fits specifically to our environment.

     Environment becomes routine along with all of the sensory stimulus and sensitivity, our bodies physically bond to what is comfortable to us.  And when that changes, so does a whole persona or personality mask.

When it is an unexpected and forced change, it is traumatizing. In my own experience, I've moved 10 times in a single year at the age of 14. Only 4 years older than Chihiro.

That caused a shutdown that I'm still experiencing the effects of 20 years later. Losing those connections is never a matter of letting go and moving on. They are grieved and must be processed at length.  

    On the way out of the forest Chihiro's father notices how quiet she is, both parents finally are paying attention to the emotional reality of their child. If they had listened and paid attention to her intuition, warnings and signs of trauma, in the beginning, their predicament would not have occurred. They might not have even moved in the first place.

"A new home and school, it is a bit scary," her father says. To which Chihiro replies that she can now handle it.

Chihiro, suppressing her original concern and the trauma of her experience, now gaslights herself, after she's gone through the process of learning how to perform emotional and mental labour for others through masking as an act of love.

An act of love, that's how mainstream society positions suppressing the needs of the disabled. You're told if you love your parents, your family, don't cause problems, don't cause trouble.

Oh, your having trouble at school, at work, at home? Disabilities are framed as trouble in this manner, the same way one speaks of a misdemeanor or crime. It subtlety shifts feelings of fault and blame onto the disabled.  When it comes to Autistics the way we understand our self and our experience of the environment is often blamed as the cause of troubles.

For us the Non-autistic world is assaulting both physically and emotionally. It's a mess of social and psychological mind games and head traps that make us chronically ill.  We have to create our own environments to dwell and recover in each night.

For a large proportion of us, we experience time and space Non-linearly. Which means events are not chronological, they don't neatly line up in our minds.

Our experience of the world is like the concepts of Ukiyo and Yugen. Transience, ethereal and profound depth of feeling. Events, people, places float in and out with moments of deep joy and sadness to help us make sense of time.

Miyazaki makes full use of this narrative tradition in his storytelling with vast spaces and characters who on the surface are only loosely associated with each other yet deeply connected.

In our world connection is not linear, nor emotions. Associative thinking leads us to make broad connections in ways that branch out and lead us to discoveries that seem impossible or were unknown to many because the right associations couldn't be made in their linear minds.

Non-linear emotions mean that we don't process events as they happen. It's too much to take in, emotions float in us, incubating until they are ready to be understood. The moment this happens is usually triggered by seemingly unconnected events but to which our minds have made connections to, enough to bring us to full circle. Different mental processing times mean reactions and effects come later, long after expected.

3. Noh face.  Portraying other as grotesque.

The best for last.

Noh face as in the Noh theatre, because the mask they wear, delights and troubles in it's accurate yet disturbing qualities. The spirit does not speak except to make pleading utterances. The faceless spirit  is sad, mysterious, interesting,terrifying and revolting all at once.

When it is invited into the bathhouse it begins to eat several of the workers and gains the ability to speak and their personality traits.

It is one of the most grotesque and extreme moments in the film. It can make you squirm. But it's also the most literal example of what it can be like to mask.

There is a certain type of masking that occurs for autistics who also experience dissociation, derealisation and depersonalisation.

It's the least understood and most vital to  understand; this is how the brain involuntarily forces command or auto-pilot, for survival in situations it deems life threatening.

 When around other people these autistics physically feel themselves absorb the energy, the personalities, emotions and desires of other people, so much so that it overwhelms their mind/ soul, their identity and sense of who they are.

They can lose track of where they are and what they say and do ; literally becoming "drunk" on other people, acting erratically or hyper with a loss of inhibition.  

They may do and say things they wouldn't have before and never would alone, when caught in the energy of the crowd or moment. And often they can't quite remember what occurred until afterwards. It's an uncomfortable and frightening experience to not be in control, to feel like a slave to others wills .

 With this type of masking the autistic may be aware of it or might not be, but they are not in control of when it happens or with who. It occurs on a daily basis this absorption of personas and others traits. It's chaotic inside, an ever changing kaleidoscope of thoughts and feelings that are almost never your own.

Physically, after socialising, especially if it's from a party, when this type of  autistic is alone, people hangover sets in.

People hangovers, even though I don't drink that's the best definition I have of it, you feel ill enough that you vomit; as you would expect with all of this swirling chaos.

The only way to end it is to sleep it off as you psychologically purge all the fragments of others out. This is another  physical sensation as you feel yourself emptying and regaining control. This process can feel like being scrubbed raw, internally.

This masking isn't done out of "loneliness" as is the reason given by the Noh Face. But having no one to understand and going through this alone, does build up and can increase the feelings of desperation to have a stable self.

In the scene when Chihiro gives the Noh face the expectorant, and they vomit just as Haku did, as all the people they consumed left, they returned to their original small form, no longer able to speak.

Chihiro, in that scene is the only one with boundaries, she masks her fear and listens, using her knowledge to give the Noh Face what they really need. She presents a kind, calm and stable force that counters chaos.

It's no wonder the Noh Face wants to absorb her. She's the ultimate mask that it can then have to feel whole and interact with others finally.

But it still would not be their own.

On a side note, it is for this very reason that Noh Face is finally paired with the witch Zaneba, whose line "hmmm, what else can we mess with?" is my favourite. Zaneba sees the structure of the bathhouse and wants to disrupt it.

Due to the chaos occurring inside these type of autistics, instead of trying to order life in a structured or "tidy" way, they impose chaos externally. As long as it is their chaos, this ordered chaos approach is effective in coping with life.

Roles, duties and tasks bring about more structure than superficial order as in the bathhouse. If there's a specific function and purpose that is clear, it makes it easier to not mask, which is why the noh face is able to remain calm.

At the end of the day Zaneba and Noh Face retreat to their quiet home, where function and roles are simple. Personally that's where I'd like to stay, if I were Chihiro I wouldn't have returned.

That's a final point, the "fantasy" world is always made out to be lesser than our shared reality. But is it really? Our inner worlds are what make it possible to survive in the outer world. It's where we process and draw strength to combat the hostility we encounter daily.

They aren't something you abandon in childhood, but a necessary life skill that develops further with age. The fantasy retreat is vital for rest and reclamation of self from society. Not something to be left behind.

So there you have it. My rough autistic sense on what messages an autistic/neurodivergent might take away from popular story narratives and elements in children's fiction and film.  

[fly-pow-bye]

Powerpuff Girls 2016 - “Our Brand Is Chaos”

Written by: Jake Goldman

Written & Storyboarded by: John West, Angela Zhang

Directed by: Nick Jennings, Bob Boyle

Not really that hell-ish.

This episode begins with Blossom, away from her sisters, reading her favorite book at home. Being Reboot Blossom, this book is all about tax codes. Just in case a six year old girl reading tax codes isn't enough for people to consider that she's an unrelatable nerd, the book is even the "Overly Complicated Edition". Unfortunately, before she can get to her favorite chapter about deductibles, she gets interrupted by everyone's favorite Santa Claus Claw Demon.

For the first time since Blisstersweet Symphony, Him makes an onscreen appearance in the reboot. He had one mention in Mojo The Great and got replaced by a generic devil in Ragnarock and Roll, but this is his first on-screen appearance in Season 3. There's already one problem with his appearance in this episode: he doesn't have his echoed voice. That is going to be a sign.

Blossom tries to throw the book at him, not exactly saying that joke but a different one that fits just as well, but Him shoots her with a beam that shrinks her before the book could even leave her hands. Him happily tells Blossom that...

Him: Your soul is mine!

Even without his voice filter, this episode's Him is far closer to the Him I would imagine him to be. I'd rather see Him as Shang Tsung from the first Mortal Kombat movie than the Frogurt salesman from that one episode of the Simpsons. Blossom asks how this happened, and he explains to her that her sisters did it.

We get a flashback to Bubbles and Buttercup, or Bubblescup as they essentially share the same role in this episode, going ga-ga over the Snowsploder 7000 Turbo. It's a rocket powered bobsled that comes equipped with a waffle maker, and it's available for the low, low price of $585!

Unfortunately, Buttercup only has $4, and Bubbles has a huge wad of cash that only goes up to $580. I guess if she can eye laser any potential mugger, she can carry her whole life savings with her. Unfortunately, with only $584, they're a dollar short, and they'd give anything to get that dollar. Suddenly, Him shows up to offer them a contract: they get that dollar, but they have to give him Blossom's soul, which he says is the most important thing to them.

Yeah, apparently not important enough, as they agree to this contract immediately. One would think an offer from such a prominent member of the Powerpuff Girls' Rogues Gallery would give Bubblescup some pause, but the episode wouldn't continue if they didn't sign this contract with no thought whatsoever. I mean, it's just their sister, what harm could selling her soul possibly do compared to the agony of not having a rocket-powered bobsled that can make waffles?

Bubbles: Ooh, I love the red ink!

Him: Yeah...ink...

Maybe I'm just bewildered that this reboot could imply that blood exists, but I found that particular line funny.

After that flashback, Blossom is immediately condemned to Him's realm, shown for the first time in this reboot. The original had so many great shots of that realm. In fact, it's one of the few things that were improved in Season 5 and 6, because they took advantage of computer animation to make it as surreal as possible! With 2016's amazing technology, what does the reboot do with it?

Eh, just put some random objects in a purple and green gradient, and have them all float in the void. I could see this as Blossom's personal hell, and the way she reacts to it implies that could be the case. But, no, Him says this is his home, and this is how he likes it.

As Blossom is starting to go insane from all of the nonsensical items in this realm, like apples and oranges in the same basket, Him is going to play in a mariachi band. I guess since this is the Chaos Realm, grabbing a joke from the Soundless Slippers pile makes a lot more sense.

Meanwhile in the world of the living, Bubbles and Buttercup run into a problem: they may have the exact money for that bobsled, but they still need to pay tax! If only Blossom was there to teach them about the importance of that.

Just kidding, of course Bubblescup get the bobsled and are having the time of their lives. Pretty much every scene with Bubblescup's portion of the episode has the same premise: they don't have any remorse over what they did to Blossom. They don't even mention her name. I could understand Buttercup not realizing the error of her ways, because she's the rascally little green princess, but Bubbles is okay with this, too?

There's a little more plot to this, and I really mean little. Their amazing bobsled has caught the eye of a fellow professional bobsledder, who wants to sign them up to be a part of his team...

...the Quacksledders! It may not be the Disney-related Ducks I usually talk about, but this is the closest we get to a crossover between the two shows I review, so I might as well mention it.

Speaking of which, much like an episode of a different show I just reviewed, they try to do some sort of transition between these two plots. Most of them come off like this one:

Buttercup: (after becoming a Quacksledder) This is the best day ever!

Him: Ugh, this is the worst day ever!

This feels very forced by comparison. The shots aren't even remotely similar visually. This would have been mitigated a little if Him actually lived in a fiery place of misery, because at least there would be some contrast to the icy place of happiness that Bubblescup is in. As Him is complaining about his trumpet player keeping the band from becoming great, he bumps into a door.

Him doesn't remember there being a door or a giant wall in his realm, and he has to press the buzzer. The guy behind that buzzer asks if he has an appointment, and he tells him that he's the supreme ruler of this realm. The guy tells him he isn't. The door opens, and Him can't believe his eyes when he sees that monster with red horn-like structures on her head.

Somehow, Blossom took over the realm while Him was busy with his band, rebranding it as Chaos Incorporated. They don't elaborate how this happened. She just says that she lived in a place that was disorganized, and then she organized it. She then opens a window showing a bunch of demons in cubicles, making cold calls.

This is an episode where Blossom's soul is sold to the devil, she goes to a place that is essentially hell in all but name or looks, and Blossom ends up becoming the supreme ruler of it. As soon as Him says "what" at this, we get a Townsville news bulletin.

No, there's no real transition here. This bulletin is all about the hit bobsledding sensation. They appear on magazines, boxes of WhEaties, and they even their own hit record in Japan. Newscaster Nick StillNoLastName interviews them to ask what their secret is. Needless to say, they don't say it was because they sold their sister's soul to the devil.

Bubbles and Buttercup are ready for Bobsledageddon, and Buttercup specifically tells any potential challengers to "bring it on".

In come the Tracer Triplets, the constant winners of the Bobsledageddon. I can't help but think that's because they are apparently the only other team that decided to show up for it, as we don't see anyone else. That's still one more than the Battle of the Bands from Electric Buttercup, at least. Also, they're evil! How evil?

Yellow Tracer Triplet: Also, we don't think baby animals are cute!

Nothing actually caused them to say this, but they had to say it because they're the bad guys! Bubbles is absolutely delighted to hear this from them.

And by that, I mean she makes this veiny face and turns her pigtails into fire. She then tackles the not-Derbytantes, leading to an off-screen beatdown even Buttercup can't bear to watch. See, the joke is that Bubbles is normally a cute little teddy bear, but sometimes, she gets angry! What an original joke, and not something that has been overdone.

This plot is so boring. If I have to watch this plot for another minute, I'm going to go nuts. I don't belong in this plot, see? I wish we could go back to the other place.

Thankfully, we do, using an explosion as a transition. At least it's something. This totally-not-a-place-where-damned-souls-are-tortured-for-all-eternity has now become a call center, where demons like Him cold call people with amazing offers that only cost their soul.

Blossom shows up, and she's cosplaying and acting as the boss from Office Space, complete with a coffee mug and suspenders. This outfit only lasts this one scene, and it's only there because this reference just wouldn't be as funny without it. It's not really that funny even with it, to be honest.

Because he failed to abide by the dress code, which did not include Santa Claus outfits, he gets demoted to the mail department. I wish they would have elaborated on this beyond having winged devils taking care of this, but I can assume this is where all the junk mail comes from. He wants his realm back, and his sentient leprechaun cup gives him an idea on just how to get it: tear up that contract! Thanking him for the idea, Him shoves his sentient leprechaun cup into the mail chute.

Oh yeah, maybe I should elaborate on that. See, this would cause a distraction, so Him can go to the filing cabinet to find that contract before Blossom can fix it. There, that explains everything.

Blossom, now back in the suit she was wearing before, catches Him in the act, revealing that the contract was in her stubs this whole time. Boss Blossom doesn't want to go home, she has so much to do. She just got finished collating the koalas. Chaos, ooooh!

Those koalas do end up being the last straw, as he starts firing lasers that turn into a walrus, a Christmas tree, and an accordion. I originally was confused by the Christmas tree, considering what this villain represents, but then I realized he wears a Santa Claus outfit. As for the walrus and the accordion...chaos! Ooooh!

This fight scene isn't too bad, actually. I actually liked this one bit where, while Blossom is putting those random items Him was firing at her in a filing cabinet, Him just bursts out of that cabinet and punches her out. That actually took me by surprise, which, surprisingly for an episode with "chaos" in the name, is pretty rare.

Best of all, it's not one-sided, with both combatants dishing out pain on each other in an equal amount. I'd argue the devil should be putting up way more of a fight, but I'd argue this lack of chaos has weakened him.

This ends with the devilish supreme ruler of this realm of pure darkness playing a game of tug-of-war with Him. How that sentence isn't me making another potshot at the Reboot Puffs is part of the reason I kind of like this episode. I mean, Blossom taking over what is essentially Hell.

After the obvious conclusion of a tug-of-war involving a piece of paper and a pair of claws, everything gets reset. Chaos Incorporated goes back to the uninspired gradient nothing-scape it was before, and Bubblescup's bobsled disappears while they're in mid-air. Fortunately for them, they can fly. Unfortunately for them, they forgot that about as much as they forgot how important Blossom is to them.

After an exterior shot of the house with sitcom music playing over it, feels like the Powerpuff Girls to me, I lie, we see Bubblescup practically mummified in full-body casts. Blossom tells them that she hopes they learned their lesson.

The episode does at least do a book end, a literal one, by having Blossom read the Tax Code book to them. The soul sellers groan, as if this wasn't a deserved punishment. Episode end.

Does the title fit?

The "brand" part actually fits into what Blossom wants to do with Him's.

How does it stack up?

I honestly couldn't give this a Disgusted. The plot seems like it was going to turn into another "Blossom gets the short end of the stick" episode, but it ends up turning into a rather unique episode.

I can't imagine Him fans are going to be very happy with this one, though. I would personally disagree, as I found it funny that the biggest evil of the franchise was relegated to just being a mere white-collar worker, but I can see how people would hate that.

I really didn't have much to hate about this one outside of a rather useless B-plot that only served to give the A-plot a decent premise and nothing else. I debated whether or not this should be a really low Happy or a really high Neutral, and I think the concept put it slightly above that threshold.

Next, a tale about a tail unlike any other. There's a good reason for that.

← Rebel Rebel ☆ Tagalong →

[lizzybeth1986]

Hana's Group Scenes: Book 2

(I will be updating this essay as and when group diamond scenes appear in a chapter)

(ETA: COMPLETED)

Bathhouse

Technically, one can spend time with Hana with or without the diamond option, as this scene is more focused on Liam, Drake and Maxwell. The bathhouse is techinically co-od, so the MC and Hana can crash if they want to. Much of the friendly/romantic conversation happens before the diamond option unfolds, and the MC has an option of either calling Hana her best friend or telling her she wants to kiss her. Both options make her happy: the second for obvious reasons, the first because she was once a lonely child who never had many friends to begin with, much less a best friend.

Hana doesn't feature much in the diamond option, except to appear unfazed by the overabundance of abs in the male section of the bathhouse, and later to make the succint (and very correct) observation that Maxwell's hippo tattoo has a very personal story behind it.

Fondue Party

While most of the group scenes in TRR revolve around a particular event/attempt to take a breather, this scene is of thematic importance to Hana herself. Like the yacht scene, it focusses on her fear of failure and her doubts whether any of her skills are valuable if they don't bag her a suitor. In the follow-up to this scene, Madeleine plays on exactly this flaw of hers and exploits it to the point where Hana does almost fall apart (especially given that immediately after Madeleine's comments, chocolate falls on Hana's gown, driving her to almost scream in frustration).

We have noticed, all through the books, that whenever the MC points out Hana's strengths, the encouragement backfires because it further feeds Hana's negative thoughts. Usually, she answers compliments like these with a response like: "then why am I not getting suitable matches?" (the latest example of this being the hot chocolate scene in the MC's bedroom, where Hana compares herself to Liam).

But by instead focussing on their mistakes, the group helps Hana understand that she isn't alone, that mistakes are natural and human and common to everyone. She already sees the MC, Maxwell and Drake (and now Olivia) as perfect in their own ways (an example of this would be her surprise if the MC chooses her in the island question at Truth and Dare, stating that she won't be a good choice becahse she isn't as "sarcastic as Drake" or "funny like Maxwell"). So to hear them talk so casually about times when they have messed up puts her "mistake" into perspective. This is something she does know, deep down, but in personally sharing aspects of their lives with her, they help her see them as flawed, and grant her the reassurance that a few mistakes don't take away her value as a person.

Camping Scene

While Drake is in charge of the trip, Liam offers help in building the tents and Maxwell (of course) entertains everyone, Hana is shown to take charge when it comes to keeping everyone well-fed. As I have mentioned in the Patisserie essay, Hana is a naturally nurturant person, and this shows in her desire to feed everyone and keep them happy. This nurturant aspect of her also emerges when she is petting the stray lizard, as it reacts differently to her than it does to either Drake or Maxwell (the lizard bites both).

But that is not all. Hana also shows a healthy dose of independence in this scene when it comes to building her own tent. Liam offers to help her, but she declines, stating that "it's kind of like a puzzle, isn't it? I think I can figure it out". And figure it out she does. For all her nervousness that she might not fare very well outside of court, Hana seems very determined to push her limits and do well on her own.

Hana doesn't have a camping story like Liam or Drake do, since she doesn't have much experience doing it. This is why she reacts with fear and worry, wondering if she will be attacked by animals in the middle of the night. Being with the MC makes her feel safer and more secure. While she is happy trying new things, it still naturally frightens her to an extent, and the MC's presence in her tent is reassurance enough.

Panda Reserve

Hana does not feature very strongly either in this scene or the one in the Night Market, but outside of this scene at least she gets a personal childhood story about her, related by Xinghai. This scene also, in some small ways, features her creativity and ingenuity with whatever materials are available.

Given that it is a panda reserve surrounded by bamboo, it is amazing to see Hana place a crown made entirely of the shoots on Yang Yang's head. She is disappointed, however, when Yang Yang finishes off her handiwork in a single bite, only to be comforted by Maxwell about how - coming from a panda - that would be a compliment. She is seen later playing with Yue Yue and Yang Yang, with a ball she made, also out of bamboo.

Perhaps the most heartwarming part of this is the non-diamond scene that follows, where Xinghai tells us why the panda reserve was such an emotional investment to him, citing how excited little Hana was to see a newborn panda. This story highlights how deep and complex Hana's bond with Xinghai really is, and that underneath the sky high expectations and incessant demands to fit in, Hana's father really does love Hana and genuinely want the best for her. It is important that this sequence is shown in the chapter before the tea ceremony, because it gives us a glimpse of the personal history Hana is leaving behind. It also helps us understand why she might return to her parents - which I am sure will happen at some point in Book 3, given that we haven't seen Hana's mother yet, or fully explored her own background and childhood in Shanghai very thoroughly.

Shanghai Night Market

This scene is interesting, because while it is not centered around Hana she still manages to shine in it. The buildup to this scene is entirely on her, and gives us a very good glimpse of her skills of perception: she correctly guesses (even though she was hardly part of the Savannah drama) that Drake and Maxwell need to air their issues out and rebuild their friendship, and is also able to see Olivia grow to become an important part of their group.

In this scene, she is friend, guide and translator. Hana is truly at her element here, giving food recommendations and ordering such Chinese street delicacies as rou jia mo, shansi leng mian and xiao long bao in fluent Mandarin.

Her parting line about how food creates bonds is a particularly Hana thing to say, given that she is well known for her skills in cooking and baking, and is seen on more than one occasion using food and drink to gain alliances. The MC may scoff at the "cementing political alliances" portion of Hana's statement, but we must remember that it is Hana's suggestion of bringing Regina/Adeleide a religeuse/champagne bottle that helps the MC win their favour more easily.

Coney Island

The trip to Coney Island allows the group to celebrate the MC's newfound freedom from the scandal that has followed her since the Coronation, and allows them to experience the fun and thrill of being in a theme park. Each LI gets their fortune told, a go at the high striker, a chance to spend time with the MC on the ferris wheel and be gifted a soft toy.

Hana's fortune stands out as a beacon of hope given the uncertainty of her current circumstances, and allows her to feel a little better about her future. At this point, whether she is the MC's LI or not, Hana is at the precipice of something new and terrifying, something she knows she wants but has always been afraid to reach out for. From here, the only way she can go is up.

Hana comes out the dark house in the high striker competition, surpassing Drake, Liam and even Maxwell (whose puck almost hits the goal, but not quite). She is written as "studying the spot where the lever strikes the puck" and achieving a perfect aim in doing so. While it seems to be largely a show of strength, it is Hana's show of wits that help her win in the end.

At the ferris wheel, Hana cannot resist taking in the sights and marvelling at the way the stars reflect in the water. She is amazed at the "carefree, indulgent" vibe of the place, exclaiming that "it's like a whole other planet". This is an environment that is completely new to her, as she explains at the beginning of their trip, and she revels in it, and in her own newfound freedom.

On being gifted a soft toy by the MC, she treats it with a particular tenderness that could only come from someone who rarely had much by way of friendships, and who probably had to make do with with inanimate objects and imaginary friends. Back in Book 1, Hana did tell us about pretend tea parties with make-believe friends - since she couldn't have toys - and admitted to finding solace in a lake as a child. In the library scene, she speaks of how she drew whiskers on rocks to create a replica of Templeton, the mouse from Charlotte's Web. This is possibly the first time she has ever had a toy to call her own. Here, she treats it like a real flesh-and-blood being, insisting on spending time with it so she can figure out the perfect name.

Beer Garden

This group scene - the last of its kind for Book 2 - gives everyone small, fun moments doing different things: drinking, chatting, dancing atop a table. However, Hana in this scene gets a few moments to shine.

Liam points out to us how truly talented Hana is, when he recognizes the dance form that Hana is doing on the table as the Cordonia Harvest Dance. Upon hearing this observation, she shows us the extent of the preparations done by both Hana and her parents when she tells him - with a completely straight face - that she learned all 26 of the traditional Cordonian dances, because she wasn't sure which ones were still in fashion at court.

But the real highlight of this scene comes with Hana's confrontation of Neville, and her very public rejection of him. Unlike her tumultous exchange with Xinghai back in China, this outburst acts as a clear stressbuster for her - similar to the effect that telling Olivia how she felt at the Coronation had back in Book 1. The exchange at Shanghai leaves her drained, but this particular bold move makes her feel much better, perhaps because she has no emotional attachment to the person she is arguing with in this scene. She has been stating her disinterest for him clearly multiple times, but this is the first time she allows herself the space to actually say so.

Hana's breaking point with Neville emerges the moment he speaks condescendingly of commoners, and given that this was a dig aimed at Drake for taking away their table, it makes complete sense for Hana to feel protective. She does not mince her words here: stating he is far too stuck-up and boring for her taste, that she will never be interested in him, finishing her diatribe with a particularly cutting remark about his questionable fashion choices.

However, there is still a little part of Hana that is not completely used to taking charge like this, which is why she expresses doubt about whether she did the right thing almost immediately after.Perhaps the most interesting reaction to this question comes from the support she gets from Olivia. Olivia: the person who had jokingly claimed that Hana had "finally grown a backbone" when the latter argued with her father in Shanghai. Here, she is more encouraging and sees Hana as a stronger person.

To me this highlights an unlikely friendship between two very different women, that comes full-circle. Hana's first independent outburst (in that it was the first time she made the decision to speak up to someone who had belittled her, without encouragement) was against Olivia herself, where she called the duchess out on her awful behaviour towards her, ending it nonchalantly and with little regret (Good night, Lady Olivia. It turns out I don't care what you think). It is Hana herself who reaches out to Olivia and offers to include her in the group, who points out that the latter is slowly becoming a part of them. This sequence is the first time Olivia - a highly guarded, "prickly", wary woman - encourages Hana and applauds her for the same courage Hana had once displayed, in front of her.

The beer garden episode may mean different things to different characters in this diamond scene, but for Hana it is another step in the new direction her life has now taken.

[fly-pow-bye]

Powerpuff Girls 2016 - “Small World: Heart to Heartstone Part 4”

Written by: Jake Goldman, Haley Mancini

Written & Storyboarded by: Kyle Neswald, Jaydeep Hasrajani

Directed by: Nick Jennings, Bob Boyle

...but after 100 episodes of this, it mostly turned into a world of fears. Mostly.

So all of the Triforces have just been collected from their various dungeons, and now it’s time to face off against Ganon. Okay, maybe I should make a better synopsis than that.

Having collected all of the Heartstones, they go back to the crater where Townsville used to be. Buttercup then gets flung off-screen as the Professor shows up to congratulate them. Already, the tone is going to be rather jokey, but not jokey enough to where it's going to suffer from what I would call "The Trouble With Bubbles syndrome." The Powerpuff Girls then fly off to Lester Van Luster's lair, but the Professor wants to come, too!

They decide to carry the Professor around, not only because he wanted to come, but because he happens to know the lair's coordinates. Instead of actually showing them these coordinates are like he did with the Heartstones, the Powerpuff Girls just carry him around while he goes "wheeeeee!" They don't really make a good in-universe excuse for this, though there is a good plot reason for it.

Buttercup: [We're going to] pummel Mojo and Lester Van Loser into oblivion!

Even Buttercup is getting into the act of giving this guy inflammatory nicknames, though I think she could have been more creative. Where’s Bubbles?

She's still with the geese. This time, she offers an origami goose to be the leader. The geese then eat it, and fly away. Joke over. Adding to the theory that any intent to show that she can speak animal in these scenes was probably unintentional is that in none of these geese scenes does Bubbles honk at them, she just talks to them like if they were people.

The subtitles in the last episode imply they do understand her, which makes me wonder if they're really going to go with The Wild Thornberrys route. Now that this special is almost over, I should say one good thing about these scenes: at least I can say they use subtitles and not just have the geese talk this time. Non-talking animals is a rare sight, and after Donny, Pug-Faced Paulie, Eddie, and that one zebra, it's a breath of fresh air that I didn't even know was possible.

They reach the lair of Funfetti Spaghetti, and move across the tons of shrunken landmarks in his “trophy room”. Apparently, this guy was really busy, shrinking the Taj Mahal, Big Ben and a bunch of other buildings that surrounded Big Ben, and worst of all, the largest ball of yarn! Nobody told them Lester was going Carmen Sandiego across the entire world while they were gone; I guess it wasn’t that important.

They reach Lester's room, where he's just sleeping on his throne. The Professor apparently decided he was the leader now, but Blossom doesn't matter. She seems to like her dad now that he's doing the planning for her. I wouldn't blame her.

They slowly sneak around Lester, with sneaky music playing in the background. The Professor decides this was a great time to shout "Girls! Way to go!" as soon as the Powerpuff Girls reach the wand. It doesn't actually affect anything; the scene may as well not exist. There's no consequences!

He may be smarter than he is usually, but he's still that Sitcom Dad, right? Well, maybe not quite, as we're about to get to a twist that I didn't see coming at all. If you don't want to be spoiled on what happens in this special, you probably should have stopped reading a few parts ago.

As soon as they touch the wand, three heart shaped slots appear. The holes, they were made for them, so they slowly float away from the Puff’s hands right into them. The green one apparently is the clumsy one, as it knocks into the wand a few times. Well, I guess having its previous form sliced in half really affected its accuracy. We hear some evil music play during this, which honestly shouldn’t be appropriate if these girls were going to use it to save Townsville.

Turns out, the music was jumping the wand a bit, as when Blossom tries to grab the wand, the wand floats away, landing right into the Professor’s hands. I mean, him actually being helpful tends to be out of character for him, too. It's here where we get this episode's biggest twist.

It was Sweety Gumdrops this whole time! Wait, how did he manage to be the Professor and still be Lester when he's hanging out in his lair, getting his Marble Sofa moved by his adoring ape?

Discount Jojo: MAGIC!

Oh, hus...actually, that would be a good explanation here, but there's a little more logic than that. We never see the Professor and Stars McShiny at the same time, and he seemed to know a lot about the Heartstones for someone who is supposed to be a scientist. I would also mention the whole "he's not anything like the Sitcom Dad I've grown to hate", but I think I bashed that into the ground.

As for the Lester that was sleeping on his chair, that was actually Discount Jojo, playing his best role: sleeping guy! He certainly plays that role a lot better than he plays Mojo Jojo, that’s for sure. The Powerpuff Girls try to rush in to do what they do the worst in this reboot.

Alas, the Magic Man Who Rips Off The Incredibles' Syndrome More Than Just His Hair’s cane is just way too powerful. Honestly, he probably didn’t even need the Heartstones to do that. He does explain to them that the Professor actually didn't make it out of Townsville; he's stuck in the snowglobe along with everyone else.

Professor: Hi, girls! I made a new friends! (points towards snowman)

Ah, there's the Sitcom Dad, confusing snowmen for actual people and being completely oblivious to everything going around him. They do a similar joke with The Mayor in a previous episode, but at least that one is more believable. I mean, it's the Mayor.

Using his newly gained omnipotence from the Heartstones, he decides to change into his Super Saiyan God form. With all of his might, I.M. Meen finally does his ultimate plan against those goodie-goodies that make his stomach churn. Oh no, he’s not going to shrink them, that’s the old magic hat!

Instead, he’s going to shrink-wrap them and also turn them into the very merchandise they were probably imagining would fly right off the shelves! They even use "tada" music on this; not nearly as blatant as the "cool toys" scene from Total Eclipse of the Kart, but the effect is still there. I wonder if this was some sort of meta-joke about the blatant commercialization of the Powerpuff Girls, which would be incredibly hypocritical for this reboot.

This toyset seems to have a lot of problems, though. How come Buttercup and Bubbles have their Snuggle Buddies, but Blossom just has two books? Why does Bubbles have the Kung Fu Grip when it's well established only Buttercup can throw a punch most of the time? One thing that doesn’t surprise me is that this toyset only gives Buttercup the ability to talk; considering how much Heartstone time she got in this special, she’s clearly the favorite. What does she say, anyway?

Buttercup: (badly acted) Mojo is a ugly green doofus!

I don't want to call him Doofus Jojo, because I don't want to give Buttercup any credit. Sadly, they're not sentient toys, so they're essentially dead. Best case scenario, of course, this could also be a "I Have No Mouth, And I Must Scream" situation, too.

Of course, Discount Jojo is absolutely ecstatic that they managed to defeat the Powerpuff Girls together, and he decides to make some suggestions on what these Beat-Alls can do next. One of his suggestions is blowing up Citiesville. I'm sure a lot of people would think that would not be evil, but he could have meant the "Honey, I Blew Up The Kid" meaning of blow up. Making all of those jerks that live in Citiesville giants would be delightfully evil, too. Flamehair Poofydress doesn't agree.

Lester Van Luster: Well, how do I put this gently...you're a pathetic excuse for a supervillain...

Eh, he's better in this season than he ever was in Season 1, especially in the first part of this very special, so it's not entirely justified. When he's fighting the Powerpuff Girls, not because of his fangirl tendencies, of course.

Lester Van Luster: ...and I've been using you to take over Townsville and get the Heartstones for myself.

Oh, okay, he's not going to justify anything, he's just trying to make sure someone will be angry at him so this plot can have a satisfying conclusion. But that can't be it, right?

So, for almost no reason whatsoever, he decides to kick Discount Jojo out of his castle, literally having him fly out of the castle to drop down, after all he did for him. Thankfully, anyone's ability to survive 15+ foot falls continues with this episode, as Jojo not only survives, but Lester even drops his marble couch on him to no real effect other than, "haha, he mentioned it". Hey, some continuity between the parts! Power of Four wasn't that good at that.

Sure enough, Jojo is quite upset by this predicament, and decides he should actually be against this guy. Being evil is the only thing he was good at, at least according to him. He's the most diabolical, evil, dangerous villain! Clearly, he only has one path to go...

...the path of a cobbler! See, it’s funny, because one would think he’d be mad enough to take on Hi Hi Puffy Shirt himself. However, he accidently hammering himself, reminding me of one of the better shorts this reboot managed to create. I guess I could say that's a plus. He decides to do a Plan B.

Discount Jojo: MAGIC!

Oh, hush, Discount! Oh wait, that was the episode doing a decent book-end, not my running gag. Silly mistake. The King of the Lollipop Guild did make one major mistake: Jojo still has all of his magic training, including all of his equipment! He shows this off by blowing some magic dust, which gets in his eyes. This may be the time he's getting serious, but he still has to do "a funny".

After a far too long gag where he tries to use a grappling hook, Discount the Jojo shows himself to his former idol. Macaron McMuffin asks how Jojo managed to get up here before saying he doesn’t care. These two gags don’t really go well together, because he clearly used a grappling hook for the last 20 seconds. The joke could be that he is that he’s really bad at figuring out other people’s magic tricks, but that never becomes apparent.

Before he blasts him for daring to bring light to his lair, Jojo decides to apologize and do a magic act to appease him. For he is Mojo The Jojo! Well, he’s already at least giving himself a name, something he didn’t do before. He then pulls off his Magic Hat, revealing his usual brain hat. It may be a hint that he decided to wear this hat above his usual one instead of switching his costume entirely.

He pulls out a Lester poster and a Lester party balloon, all possibly from his own collection of Lester memorabilia we just never saw until now. Yeah, that's it. Being as egocentric as his cheeks are red, he ends up being impressed by this. Discount The Jojo, eh, it doesn't really work, sees one more thing in his hat that will knock Lester's socks off! Of course, Lester doesn't think that this could be literal, as he leans in and Jojo does his most evil act yet...

...plagarizing Bubbles' trick from the first part! Jokes asie, it's good to know he can learn from previous mistakes and use them to his advantage. Most importantly, this punch was powerful enough to make Fruit Stripe Hair lose his magic cane, and having it land right in Jojo's hands.

In a rare moment of kindness to who could be arguably be his sisters if his origin story is still canon, he decides to turn the Powerpuff Girls from the marketed brand to the superheroes they should be. Even Jojo feels that this is way too anti-climactic, and the show agrees.

Lester The Not So Friendly Ghost-Like Man poofs right next to him, makes the magic stick float to him again, and turns him into a goose! He then kicks him out in the same way he did when he was an ape, making me question why couldn’t he just fly back into that window. Instead, that’s the last we see of him for the rest of the final fight. Congratulations, Discount Jojo, you contributed.

Candy Cane Man decides not to turn the barely waking up Powerpuff Girls back into toys, because he knows that no matter what, the Powerpuff Girls will eventually defeat him in the end of the story. Instead, he tries his hardest to punch them into many pieces with a Heartstone-fueled punch. The Reboot Puffs decide to go with their patented Reboot Puff strategy of just staying in one place and just take it. Blossom does add another part to this usual strategy: tell the big hand that’s coming at them to stop.

...and it does, much to both their and Lester's confusion. He shakes around his stick for a bit, yeah, maybe I should word that better, and tries to hit them with a spiked ball instead. The Deliciously Sugary Mage tries again, and the Powerpuff Girls do a slightly better strategy of commanding themselves to duck!

Sure enough, the Heartstone aura then turns into a duck, who merely just quacks at them impolitely. The Master of Quacks wonders how he can't control these heartstones.

The Puffs figure out that they didn’t just get the Heartstones, they earned them by doing the tasks they had to do. Bubbles earned it by getting over her fears and coming up with her own strategy. Blossom earned it by realizing what “leave its equal” means. Buttercup just had to beat up a monster, something she tends to do more often than her sisters.

Because of this, the Heartstones are under their complete control, even though they were pretty happy to follow Lester’s command’s before. Maybe it was one of their many tests! They fly out of the magic wand, turning Lester back to his ordinary Cupcake Shrinky Boy self, and they become their new jewel-encrusted headbands! Yay, more accessories for the potential toylines. Bubbles had to use the most effort and actually learn something to get her Heartstone, and she gets rewarded by getting hit in the face with it. Because she’s the silly blonde!

Lester The Future Snake Jellyfish Or Cerberus Food can only run away screaming as the already powerful girls get even more powerful with the Heartstone Monster Aura Shells! Blossom gets the Jellyfish, with fancy electrocution action! Bubbles gets the Snake, with the ability to suffocate anyone within a one mile radius! Buttercup gets the Cerberus, with surprisingly excellent barber expertise!

Tell your parents to collect all three of them, or they can go to hell, where Him is still wondering if he was meant to be the villain of this before they decided Jojo idolizing Satan wouldn’t fly on a kids network.

They probably could have just cut to the scene where he gets defeated, but we do get to see sort of a fight scene. At least it’s a one-sided defeat I should expect from the Powerpuff Girls, with the Powerpuff Girls dishing out the pain. Blossom electrocutes him, Buttercup swipes off his poofy hair, which apparently instantly grows back, and, in the move with the most visible contact, Bubbles squeezes poor-if-he-didn't-deserve-it Lester in the same way she was squeezed in her episode.

The Powerpuff Girls decide that jail would be too easy of an escape for him. Actually, they never seem to consider that if the police aren't around to throw them into a police car.

Instead, they decide to join in on his interest of shrinking people, though Lester apparently isn’t as fond of being shrunken himself, and shrinks him down to tiny size! Blossom exclaims that now that Townsville is back to its normal size, everything is back to normal. Well, except for the landmarks. Or the fact that the Powerpuff Girls now have these ultra-powerful heartstones they could use on far more powerful villains like Him and Gemoire.

Well, we do get one loose end tied up.

Jojo the Goose ended up being the new leader of the geese. Apparently, he’s doing this a lot better at this than being a villain, and far better than that silly blonde! The end!

Does the title fit?

Heart-to-heart, Heartstone, yeah, I could say it fits.

Since it’s over, I could say Small World isn’t exactly the best title for this special. Sure, the villain likes to shrink things down, but it’s never the focus. Honestly, Heart to Heartstone would have been a better name for this entire special.

How does it, and the whole special, stack up?

It's a satisfying conclusion, even if anyone could predict that the Powerpuff Girls would win in the end. I mean, why would they not? I like the idea of the Heartstone monsters coming back, and how everything connected in the end, which is something I wish the reboot would do even in non-specials. This episode ends up being part of a special that only managed to have one episode that didn't have this rating.

Really, with the entire special, I was pleasantly surprised to find myself actually getting some enjoyment out of it. Even the lesser of the four, Stone Cold Spider, had some okay moments. One could argue that they played it safe. Outside of the use of smartphones, this could have straight up have been an episode of the original.

This is not to say this is the absolute best episode of the entire reboot, and that it was mostly flawless. As promised, there are some general problems with this plot that I'll touch upon before giving it my final judgment.

For an episode about the Powerpuff Girls travelling through the world, the locations are disappointing. Even the Buttercup Job at least gave us Atlantis with its walking fish and Greek gods. Buttercup goes to a cave full of monsters, something that should be normal even in Townsville. Blossom goes to a sunken ship with nobody around. Bubbles gets to go to a labyrinth with a very anachronistic security guard at best. There’s no personality to any of these locations; it may as well be anywhere.

Then again, I probably should have known, considering the only place that was even on land was some random place in what appears to be Brazil judging by that map. They could have went to various countries, learning about different cultures, really giving that worldwide appeal. The best we get is all those landmarks that were shrunken, but they don’t even treat it as a big deal.

Discount Jojo’s role in the plot isn’t that bad looking back at it, but his actions in this are kind of odd for his character. Again, would he really be fangirling over someone else, especially after episodes like Mojo The Great and Not So Secret Service? This is especially true when one considers that Lester Van Luster wasn’t a well established villain.

Speaking of that Cupcake Shrinky Boy’s actions, the special never really makes you feel like the stakes are that high. Sure, they seem to care about Townsville, but once that city is saved, they don’t seem to care about anything else. People around the world are missing their monuments, but the only hint we get towards this is a scene near the end, and it’s mostly just used for a ball of yarn joke.

But, despite all of that, this is still a surprisingly decent special for the reboot. It’s a special that actually feels like an adventure to save Townsville, and not just the Powerpuff Girls having to save themselves from their own mistakes. I wouldn’t say these parts are the absolute least worst this reboot has to offer, but it is still watchable, which, compared to most of the reboot, is a huge accomplishment.

The special may be over, but PPG 2016 sure isn’t! Next, we get yet another Halloween special! They're really compensating for the original's lack of one. Either that, or they wanted more costumes for the toyline. Definitely the former, I would think!

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