#i am 20 now for context

[rainparadefromhell]

had a really bad anxiety attack earlier today then it went away and i was fine and now i've gone back to feeling anxious and i'm trying to calm myself down.

anxiety is the worst feeling in the world and for me when i feel like there was no trigger or if the trigger was subconscious, it's exceptionally cruel. you just end up wanting so desperately to blame it on something and not feel crazy bc your brain is acting up and can't process stress.

my heart goes out to everyone struggling with this shit, no one knows how painful it is especially if it's severe. i'm really passionate abt this bc i've struggled/still struggle so much and i want this to be a place where ppl with similar experiences can feel understood and seen. a lot of ppl are not understanding bc they can't imagine how we feel. you do not need to just "get over it". it's not how it works.

pls remember you are also not your anxiety, even if it takes up so much of your life.

you're not broken. you're not less than. you're not a burden.

take care of yourselves ♥

[sassmill]

“If a lot of men get killed at one go, does it make the killing of one man less of a crime? I don’t know, Andy, I don’t know. I’m only twenty and they say today the world is ours, but Pa was twenty once and felt the world was his, and long, long ago Mad was twenty too, laughing at applauding audiences, smiling from picture postcards, and when I am as old as she is nothing will have changed…”

Daphne du Maurier, Rule Britannia (1972)

[quaranmine]

i refuse to be working on this au for over a year so now that we're in february it's time to WORK babey

[ayakashibackstreet]

Anyways, worked on the conference paper today, I'll make like four more slides for the presentation and I think we'll be dandy

[didsomeonesayventus]

find myself thinking about the emblem paralogues and like. really cute throwbacks to iconic chapters of FE history and all but when in the narrative are these supposed to happen and also like. man these are meant to be bond deepening faux skirmishes but if you're playing with permadeath on. woof if someone dies. and some of these are a bitch of a fight too I am looking at you Leif.

personally I think post chapter 20 pre chapter 21 is a good spot to like. narratively chunk them all in. something something alear wants to prove themselves something something pilgrimage spent further establishing and deepening divine right or whatever

[starswallowingsea]

every time i've gotten into a popular series or franchise i've always been disappointed by it because like. its so hyped up and i watch it and find it mid and it appears we are not watching/playing the same thing

[nivq87]

related thoughts:

my butterfly chasing has me tinkering with my tumblr blog page, and it's a wip atm (the html needs a LOT of adjusting atm) and my about and tags pagers are pretty out of date. so, I'll try and work on that over the week I suppose

my complaining tag hasn't been used in a few years. at first I thought I was just trying harder to keep the negativity off my blog (which I also do) but then I was actually reading some of the posts and. oh gosh. those were some Big emotions I was dealing with. Glad to not be That guy anymore. Your 20's really just kinda suck, but since you're out of your teens it feels unfair because you should be Beyond such angst. but. nope. apparently it'll keep going a bit longer. Fascinating collection of posts over the years as a retrospective.

[vulpinesaint]

in other news i get two weeks of summer break!!! :D i thought my summer classes were going to just lead me straight into school again but i do actually get some breathing room before it all starts up once more :D

[pocket-prosecutor]

Another Wereshifter Miles AU Masterpost because I hate inconsistencies and I want them cleared up >:(

Old masterpost here

The original concept remains the same: Edgeworth shrinks when the sun goes down, which is a strict "rule". This also takes the changes in sunset/rise times over the course of the seasons into account.

He could also cheat his way out of it by spending the summer in Finland.

As an adult, Miles shrinks down to 20 cm/8 inch.

When and how and stuff:

So in the old masterpost I said the condition started because of a strong stress-response (think of it as a Flight-Response from all the trauma, anxiety, and panic attacks).

But having this condition be an inherent trait that started earlier at around, say, age 5 or 6, is equally if not more fun. I will (hopefully) make a post just for this but in short:

Somewhere around the age of 6, Miles's wereshifting condition manifests. One evening he feels...kind of bad? His entire body tenses and he gets dizzy. Gregory notices and asks if he's okay when suddenly he sees his son shrink in front of his eyes. Eventually Miles stops shrinking when he's around 12.5 cm/5 inch. Of course he grows back when the sun rises, but they both didn't know that the first night.

In the years that follow, Miles and his father figure out how to deal with this condition through trial and error.

Who knows?

I'm keeping what I initially said about this.

Franziska knows, she found out rather quick after Miles moved into the MvK household. Before Miles started his career as prosecutor, Franziska was a safe place for him to go to when shrinking got too overwhelming.

M. von Karma knows, but Miles doesn't know that. He could use it against Miles later, if ever necessary. Keeping up the pretense works out better for him and his over-planned scheme for case 1-4.

Additionally, Phoenix knows, but only kinda sorta? Gregory told him when he was still a child, on the day before the Christmas holidays (after talking it through with Miles). He simply wanted Miles to have a friend he can trust (and for sleepovers!). Phoenix is 9. Gregory is an adult. Obviously he's telling the truth.

Edit: this initially explained that Phoenix didn't see Miles shrink when they were kids but I retconned it lol. He got to visit Miles once before DL-6 happened. Miles however doesn't recall that day very well since he suppressed most of his childhood memories. Phoenix has to remind him of both the class trial and the day he hang out with Miles after he shrunk down.

Case 1-4:

Ahh, uh. So Miles can't actually murder anyone at night, nor could he have been on that boat. Working around this is manageable. Von Karma anticipates that Miles would respond to the letter anyway, he would just hide somewhere to check it out. Besides, getting a stand-in for Miles for getting a regular sized person on the photograph is not that hard probably? And surely he has a way of getting Miles's fingerprints on the gun.

Keeping his condition secret while behind bars is hard but he manages, as long as no one checks on his cell at night.

However, the trial lasts 3 days, and that 3rd day really matters... Going off-canon a bit and let's say the trial lasts just a bit too long? It is winter after all, the days are shorter. Surely Phoenix keeps an eye out for Miles? (i will probably/hopefully make a separate post for this)

Some other tidbits:

Miles buys a large dollhouse when he moves out of the MvK household

He doesn't always sleep in the dollhouse, only if he's sure the nights are long enough so that he won't grow back and damage said dollhouse.

He uses the dollhouse mainly for the accessories that come with it. Tiny chairs, cutlery, etc. And standing around these items makes him feel at ease now and then

Additionally, he gets custom-made "doll" clothes that fit his size (he had to measure himself using measuring tape when tiny, it was quite an ordeal)

In important spots of the house (kitchen counter, bed, couch) he has small ladders set up (he had to overcome his acrophobia for this). Miles (and Gregory back in the day) often refers to them as aids.

If he cannot make it home after work, he stays in his office where he has spare clothes (small and regular sized) and one of the dollhouse beds in his top drawer. He had his drawers adapted by someone so that he can open them easily without strain.

Miles hates almost all confrontation with his condition. Even after Phoenix gains his trust he has immense trouble even mentioning it. It's been nothing but a burden and embarrassment to him, especially after DL-6.

[ijusthavesomanyblorbos]

Tell us the SG LL ideas

OKAY! SO!

Shattered Glass Lost Light. Here's what I'm thinking.

First of all, it's Megatron's ship. After the war, he'd want to leave Cybertron (just like Optimus did in canon.) Cybertron is already divided enough without the faction leaders around polarizing people, and he figures staying would only make it harder for the Autobots to assimilate into society. (Mentioned here)

But he loves his people, and he's not about to give up on them because the war is over. So! He starts a postwar unity initiative in the form of.... bababanah!!! The Lost Light!

Their official mission is to find and contact all the colony worlds of civilians sent away at the beginning of the war. (Mentioned here) Their unofficial mission is to serve as an example of (ex) Decepticons and (ex) Autobots working together. A beacon of hope for a new age!

(And also, if they just so happen to find the Knights of Cybertron, gosh, that would sure be a great way to try all those war criminals they have!)

(Megatron keeps that in mind)

It... only kind of works out.

See, the current leader of Cybertron just so happens to be our main man Prowl. (Mentioned here). And he most definitely is not excited about this. For one thing, a divided populous is an easily controlled populous. Paranoia is power. And while he does want what's good for Cybertron, he's not about to make things harder for himself. So he'll be having no symbols of unity or peace, thank you very much.

And for another, he doesn't want anything to happen that's going to paint Megatron in a favorable light. Megatron, who is currently the biggest challenger to his right to rule. (A right in which Megatron has no interest in- but better safe than sorry.)

On the other hand, of course, sending Megatron out into the dark reaches of space for years on end is certainly an appealing idea.

With this in mind, Prowl does three things.

The first being to compose a crew list filled with the biggest failures, write offs, crazies, criminals and crackpots in Autobot history. Megatron is a great leader but... well, a Commander is only as strong as his weakest subordinate.

The second being to attach a certain infamous Decepticon to the bottom. One that is holding a rather violent grudge towards Megatron. One that's supposed to be in prison. One that is one of the strongest megalomaniacs in the decepticon repertoire, who will definitely be causing some problems later.

And the third, to demand an Autobot addition to the command of the ship.

Rodimus Prime, who is under strict instructions to make the mission as big of a failure as physically possible.

(The fact that Rodimus is heir to the Primacy, and therefore the heir to Optimus is not a small part of his decision. The more threats to his crown off Cybtertron, the better. Or as the humans would put it, two birds with one stone.)

At launch, the ship's command looks like this:

Megatron, Captain.

Rodimus, Second in Command (Contested Co-Captain)

Drift, Third in Command (Previously Deadlock, an Autobot combatant. Now, loyal to Megatron)

And Ultra Magnus, (who has no idea what Prowl is planning. He just needs a job now that the war is over.) Ship Enforcer.

Prowl sends the ship off with a smile and a wave- He's confident in Rodimus, and if all else fails, Overlord should work as a fine backup.

My thought process writing this was definitely inspired by the Scavengers- because what I really love about the Lost Light is the found family aspect, and you kind of can't enjoy that as much if everyone is just an asshole (more so than already). So, I just wanted to take everyone's character, and shift it slightly to the left, and then change the outside circumstances and then BINGO! You've got a shattered glass.

The main point here is not to be an evil LL. The Lost Light goes through most of the same major story beats, and the end point is the same. But by taking the negative character traits of the Autobots, and turning them up to 100%, we make that same end so much more impactful. (For example, Rodimus's screw ups being just as bad, but purposeful! Spicy.) Less evil, more.... angsty.

(I think that's just my tagline for SG! at this point.)

Anyways! So that's that. I might expand upon some individual character's changes later on. But for now, the rest is up to your imagination :)

[freckleslikestars]

Okay, someone please settle this argument I’m having with my dad:

Someone has hung a basket of their things (in this case face cloths and scrubbies) with those Command removable hook things (you use a double sided sticky thing and it gives a really strong hold) in the shared bathroom. Because you take longer and hotter than average showers, one of the hooks keeps falling off and so the basket falls down. Do you:

A) inform the person whose basket it is that it’s fallen down and the hook needs replacing, but other than removing the basket from the other hook so it doesn’t fall and damage the sink it’s over, do nothing else to interfere

B) inform the person that it’s fallen down and offer to rehang it if desired, but if you can’t remember how it was hung/don’t think you can do an appropriately satisfactory job at rehanging it, you don’t touch it and leave it to them

C) don’t say anything and rehang it incorrectly and wonkily, and then when the other person points out that you did it wrong and you should have just left it to them, kick off and insist that the other person is being ungrateful.

[reginaofdoctorwho]

i don't even know if i WANT to finish nursing at this point, like i fucking hate college rn and it's only an associates program but like. please i am so tired professors let me fucking sleep

[rainparadefromhell]

reconnected with my best friend from childhood (she moved to ireland when we were 12/13) and it's so weird!!! like i know her but i kinda don't anymore. a bittersweet moment for sure

[pallases]

well that was positively disastrous

[neon-angels-system]

me, patiently explaining that 59 of my credits are trapped in externals and that a good 7 credits are just being processed: I am on track and doing fine

teacher/parent, seeing that I only have 14 credits in term 3:

[drifloonz]

steven/mocha is canon