#i am a gay girl i know what im talking about
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not really sure if this is common sense but for me abba is for the girls and the gays exclusively. and the girls are the gay girls so its for the gay girls and the gays. need i say more?
#i am a gay girl i know what im talking about#everyone may like abba but its not for everyone#sorry not sorry cishets but its not for you#just the queers can claim abba :/#abba#ramblings of a lunatic
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thinking about older women
#hey auntie 👉🏾👈🏾#some of them b dancing on that line and i am looking respectfully (´ . .̫ . `) ♡#many such cases... giggling at how often w how many ppl aksjak family friends.. or it be ur own family 💀💕#someone's mom would joke about snatching me up like 😭😶🌫️ ma'am first of all .. would#and the touchy prima (〒﹏〒) ♡ yes please put ur hands on me i am so comfortable with physical contact ( ꈍᴗꈍ) let me hold ur hand ♡#🚶🏾♀️ being hot is nice sometimes#the forbidden fruit... hey tía (´ . .̫ . `) 👉🏾👈🏾💕#some of the exchanges I've had were so 😵💫😵💫 ma'am.. i got a lil crush on u.#← not my actual family. i do not have one. engaging in one from this perspective is a lil different yfm 🚶🏾♀️u don't have to get it#or maybe u do idk im zooted rn and feeling rly gay abt aunties and older women in general okay 😩💕#i need to go sweet talk someone's tía i know she's looking beautiful tonight 🚶🏾♀️ i see u girl. i love ur hair your nails are beautiful#i love your color coordination you have such good fashion sense ( ꈍᴗꈍ) ♡#ur earrings are so pretty i love your necklace i love your bracelets (｡ﾉω＼｡) lemme go help y'all cook or I'll make the drinks whateve#let's talk.. ♡#Lupe... what are you up to these days 😩💕 my favorite. a family friend#i kinda see family friends as family too sorta bc my fam was p small when i did have one so a friend would be a basically auntie#but also not.. technically. so ╮(. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)╭ idk. they r tías 2 me though and i love them.#they r so nicey 2 me ｡:ﾟ(;´∩`;)ﾟ:｡ ♡#she wanted me to say her name n talk to her in Spanish a lil bit and she ate it up 😵💫 (｡ﾉω＼｡) ♡ she loved the way i say her name#i had such a crush on her omfg. low-key but not but yeah but respectfully..
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Touga’s “it’s not okay to be gay” speech is only surpassed by his “it’s not okay to lay eggs” speech
Do you think Touga thinks it’s okay for two guys to hook up but not two girls
frankly, i think touga is fine with homosexuality of all kinds insofar as it is replicating the dynamics of power and control that he understands all sexual exchange to be. so he’s fine with having Gay Sex with akio because (in his mind) he is accepting his own exploitation to eventually subsume akio’s power (that’s how the world works). and he’s fine having Gay Sex with saionji because it’s a way of having power over saionji (and not because he actually cares about saionji, that would be absurd!). but to him, the thought of nanami being a lesbian (which, imo, she is) and realizing that about herself would lead to her toppling the paradigm that pedestalizes touga as her brother/husband/father/patriarch/god, as her fixation on him is (partially, although not totally) erotic, and maintaining the logic of heterosexuality (patriarchal/biological) is crucial to maintaining her subservient loyalty. so i think in that moment (but also generally) he is specifically attempting to demoralize her to keep her in line, but also because making her feel bad about herself (for things i don’t even think she has yet realized about herself) makes him feel good about himself, if only because hurting nanami is a way of exercising his control over others, and if he can’t control those weaker than him, then what does he have??
#utena#anon#ask#incest cw /#i think he just likes fucking with her head and upsetting her#whereas i do think saionji thinks lesbianism is strange and perverse#although tbf i don’t think he’s a fan of gay people either. (despite being a gay people)#but he’ll fuck a guy to prove a point. he’ll complain the whole time but he’ll do it#anyway. what was I talking about#oh right. nanami#ive been thinking about touga more lately#trying to understand him better#but it’s so hard to sympathize with him when he is so mean to the best girl in the whole universe#i want to blow him up with tnt im sorry 😭😭😭😭#like the more i try to wrap my head around his fucked up logic of control#the more i am just like. electric chair for making your baby sister cry over you every single day .#i know that’s wrong of me i KNOW im SORRY
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Pussy like a wild fox looking for sasuke
#roommate now watching Naruto. I finally know what that line means 💕#i brought this up and both of these girls were like idk what you’re talking about? Naruto’s not gay?#i was literally so confident bringing this up like yeah! im making conversation! with the only thing i know about this tv show!#and they completely blanked me omg#I was like ok I’ve never watched more than 15 minutes of Naruto and even I know he’s gay. gayboy. get real#but that’s besides the point. the point is… why am i kinda enjoying this
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#how do people casually bring up that theyre gay at work hahahaha#asking for a friend and MAYBE because i find one of my coworkers cute and she is def of the sort of vibe where its like#i could see her being straight or gay both easily you know#anyways how do i just like float that without it being awks you know what i mean#im not one of those obvious lesbians people default to thinking im straight mostly#anyways!!! girl help i am SO BAD at showing interest and availability but#i feel like some groundwork needs to be laid before i flirt you know#and#im not interested in the game of 'oh you dont know what you are yet or youre probably straight but maybe i can change your mind' hahaha#im too old and tired for that now i just wanna meet someone#who knows for sure they like girls#not just like girls but you know... would be happy to spend the rest of their life with a girl#so i gotta find out#and we never really talk about stuff like dating or relationships so its hard to just casually mention it without it seeming forced#actually maybe this is why social media is useful sometimes you dont always have to find out by asking but#unfortunately i dont use it like at all except for shit like this anymore hmmm ooops#p
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ivy robinson is the prettiest boy and I mean that unironically in a gendered way
#what if I told you he was a gay trans man? what then?#she isn’t aware of it in most universes but I just. i know it in my soul#like I am fully aware that so much of Ivy’s story in inextricably related to her female-ness & her girl-ness by extension#(sex & gender as different concepts from where we stand. within the canon they're pretty interlinked but you get me)#and absolutely i don't mean to malign or detract from or ignore the significance of that within the bapo canon - not at all#and obviously ivy is an interesting and compelling and complex character in the way she exists in canon as a cis girl!#but like. just for fun. he is transmasc to me#sometimes he knows/realises this. sometimes he doesn't.#bare a pop opera#mouse talks bapo#Ivy Robinson#transmasc ivy robinson#i actually have many thoughts on this that may warrant an Actual Post but for now im rambling in the tags#for context I was thinking about bapo at work (as I am prone to do) and was struck by the concept of Ivy being right about her relationship#with/attraction to Jason being something more special (for lack of a better word) - on a deeply subconscious level she feels as though she#*belongs* with a boy Like Jason (read; a gay man) because on this subconscious level she knows she too is a gay man#[ask me to elaborate on the femaleness vs girlness aspect of it as it relates to Ivy and I will btw! I think it’s an interesting concept]
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#its been a whole day im at parents house#i hate that every time we talk its always about how thin i am#how femme i am (i dont even being femme rn#like just call me a fag or smth....)#or have i met some girls (i dont even meet guys and im gay)#never about my job#am i healthy#am i happy#nope nope none of that#and looks like she keeps threatening to put me back to this house#since my last stay at home sibling will leave for work abroad#and im the closest to her since im only several towns over#i dont know what kind of bullshit shes gonna pull to evict from **my own house**#but im not gonna budge#im already so uncomfortable being here for less than 24 hours and i dont want more of this#the day shes gonna do all that im gonna fucking scream and act like a mad man until they cant take me anymore#you will never put me back to this house and forcefully correct me#fuck all of them
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its so weird to read some of my old fics (do NOT do it but i'm just being hypothetical rn) and reading it. like who even was this person?? i completely was in a haze back in 2020. i literally was posting 3 chapters a day. A DAY. what in the WORLD was that shit.
anyway i remembered some STUPID sappy shit and i didnt remember if i'd put it into a fic or not BUT I FOUND IT.
She and Hope had been dating in secret for months anyway, and any attempt to go talk to Ryan only filed her disposition of displeasure upon knowing that she couldn’t tell anyone, Molly especially, it destroyed herself mentally. They couldn’t really go anywhere near the school, always having to lie to everyone about having projects together when Molly wasn’t around them.
It’d consisted with 9 PM - 2 AM intervals of being able to actually see each other. Hope would sneak through her small bedroom window with a portable record player and whatever she had gotten from the vintage record store downtown, and Amy would always fall asleep around eleven because of her internal clock.
She would always wake up to find a single sticky note stuck on the edge of her desk whenever she woke up to her alarm the next morning.
One of them, Amy still had tucked inside of her phone case, a heavily detailed human heart, with blue and red ink sketched onto a neon pink sticky note, there was a caption that headed the small paper reading the phrase over every now and again makes her almost melt every time.
“You have my heart.”
yeah idk why the fuck but i thought of this fucking idea again today and i was like "omg did i ever put that heart note thing in a fic???" yeah you fucking did.
all that to say ME AND WHO???? imagine. thats so fucking.... RAHHHH.
#NOT TOH FANFIC#see this is why i write fanfic. to enact some gay ass shit like this.#the fucking STICKY NOTE WITH A DRAWING OF A HUMAN HEART AND SAYING “YOU HAVE MY HEART” I AM ON THE FLOOR.#*sighs* sucks i cant reuse it on lumity though.#my friend making me realize i actually have rizz but am just too much of a disaster to actually understand cues with people#its a MESS. im just all over the place. i literally ranted to THE SAME FRIEND yesterday (or the day before??) abt some girl jesus.#anyway i remember writing A LOT OF POETRY back in hs about this one girl and then the same girl i got to talk to--#--my first actual conversation with her i blurted out that i wanted to shave my head. she was like.... oooooo god i was A MESS#still slid into her school dms during covid and was like “haha guess what i actually mf did???” anyway all that to say underlying dysphoria#they're nonbinary now too and i kinda ghosted them like a complete idiot :(. its been two years or so but i still think of them... a lot...#actually i have more lore about this person and its like istg they actually really liked me but i could not pick it up.#we had such SUCH good chemistry and vibes. n they were really pretty. ughhhhhh.#anyway yeah idk crushes are weird sometimes. the universe knows how unstoppable id be with a partner#i feel like i was the reason they were able to find themself and their identity because when we were talking i always encouraged them#and told them to do what felt right. im glad they did. i think sometimes that brings me peace. like i served a purpose.#STILL showed them toh. STILL SHOWED THEM TOH.#we were talking about amity LMAO “this green haired girl seems interesting” SHE SO WAS.#...yeah i wish i could text them but i kinda probably fucked it up.#shitposting shit#idk what this post is i just wanted to talk about this dumb sticky note thing because im rotating it in my brain and remembering how#mentally ill i was back in 2020#talking into the void yk how it isssss
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my experience with percy jackson is kinda funny in hindsight because reading the first book for the first time i was like 'no way...thalia mentioned!!!!'
#the fool speaks#for clarity - i read the third??? book in elementary school before the others because i needed to get a higher reading level book from#another class and was very shy so they just asked if i wanted percy jackson and handed me the third??? book. it was. as you may have guesse#a tad confusing#and my memory of it is not great thalia was the only character i could really remember. i guess apart from The Percy Jackson.#so anytime they'd talk about the tree and thalia i was like I Know That Tree. I Know That Name#i always wanted to actually read the series from the beginning but never got around to it because a girl in church talked about#how she couldnt even read it anymore because of the gay character#now i am gay and finally reading again! its fun! i love being a nerd again!#(yes i cannot wait to meet nico for real LMAO)#Anyways i finished the first book! love how percy's adhd was portrayed! im going to pick up the second one from my library soonish#if it's in. but i have two books ahead of it an im torn on which book i should read#my heart wants to continue percy jackson but i probably should be getting started on one of these two...#one of them is probably mid at best though T_T#also i do want to watch the movies now that i have read the book so i can understand just why it was disliked. i cannot remember the#movie that well either. the first half of the book seemed pretty similar to what i remembered. the ending was definitely different#i assume thats the majority of the issue? but as i said. cannot remember it that well.
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#tw transphobia#in ze tags#was talking to my mom abt transness and that reslity show with a tgirl thats been going on since she was like. 12#and she started talking about how she doesnt know who she is she doesnt know her gender or sexuality and is fat#and is mentally ill and how all of that was her psrents fault..... for transitioning her at an early age#and i said mom think of the dozens of kid actresses who end up like her bevause theh were on tv at an early age#and think of doing that while being trans and being a tgirl at that#but she was badically tying it back to the early transition#and she talked about how ever since my cousin was a boy they knew he was gay and literally just ignored it until he came out#which im sure was Super easy for him lol#and how thise things you 'just know' but it takes time#and inwas just sitting here thinking about how the way SHE brought me up made me 'not know who i am'#and she finished it all by literally calling the girl a freak because she doesnt know who she is#and i said what the hell dont do that thats disrespectful and she kept repeating shes a freak shes a freak#i told her to stop and asked her how would she feel if someone called her daughter a freak and she just scoffed#and said it again#and i said if you want to call anybody a freak call her parents but not her#and i went to my bedroom and i cried a little#it really felt like she was calling me a freak over and over
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“the three of us have a very important job.” “>:) to find out which us presidents were secretly gay” “No.” “ok fine, bi”
#tgp liveblog#what is this. why did they do this to me. i would like to watch this television show without having to psychoanalyze what the writers room#thinks of bisexuals. like am i being ridiculous or is this weird#she sounds resigned and also why do they keep feeding her these like#nosy straight girl who talks about the phase she had in college type lines#like youll do this and you cant even do ‘uh of course i keyed my ex girlfriends car that bench deserved it 😏’#she’ll hit on tahani for a whole season go ‘i may be legit into tahani’ and then we just never bring this up again?#like i KNOW she realizes shes in love with chidi in that same scene but like#logically that should go somewhere right? that should have a separate resolution?#im not being ridiculous? i dont think im being ridiculous but schur hasnt said a WORD about it in interviews as far as i can#tell from google#the outlet mags are like ‘yeah they integrated it so naturally <3’ did they???#this does not feel natural to me?? and it looks worse sitting next to the wuhwuhditz ‘george washington was america’s first gay president.’#and like laszlo and nadja and nandor in general.#RHRGHRHRHR i do not want to care about this i doooooont#but it just keeps being off kilter like none of it feels like its written earnestly#that chik fil a line still bothers me like its a funnier joke if its clear shes bisexual and just sucks#why not say that
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Been watching Schitt’s Creek the past few days and I gotta say it is nice to see that David, who is a stereotypical gay guy, is explicitly pansexual and that Patrick, who’s more masculine, is gay
#the klock keeps ticking#its a cute show and shorter than i thought#cuz idk i guess i imagined the episodes were longer as well as the seasons#i just watched the s4 finale and um. maybe got a lil bit emotional maybe#but yeah when they said that david was pan i was like OOOOOHHHHH#cuz WHAT WILL THE STRAIGHT WOMEN WHO WATCH THIS SHOW THINK WAAAA#i was like you cant have this man be pan in front of the straighties!!!#i love it so much though and they dont do that modern family shit where they cant even imply that queer ppl fuck#and the family is aware of his sexuality and supportive which is sweet#the scene where johnny was talking about his son being pan saying that he knew something was up but didnt expect this#and his complicated feelings around not knowing if his son will bring home a guy or girl#like that hit hard cuz it reminds me of my own dad who cant really comprehend that im bi#and i also relate to david cuz i too am the stereotypical gay guy that is actually not fully gay#its refreshing to see#lol anyways i feel bad for that roland guy if my last name was schitt id die
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i'm currently in the process of getting diagnosed for the tism and i kid you not, this is a word for word interaction i had with the lady asking me questions yesterday
her: are you in a romantic relationship?
me: no. I have been though.
her: oh, and when was this?
me: they broke up with me in october
her: and was this a they/them or...
me: I mean... yea?
her: and were they born a girl or a boy?
me: i don't think that's... relevant
her: oh! ok...
me:
her:
me: I don't like men if that's what you're getting at
her: oh okay! *starts writing things*
#she also talks to me like im a toddler#im like#girl#i am not 3 years old shut the fuck up#also like#she could've just asked me if i'm gay#idk why she'd need to know that but like#she could've just asked#i wanted to just be like#you dont need to know anything about my ex's genitals to figure out if im a lesbian#but alas#i was too busy just being like *what the fuck*
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it's soooooo embarrassing that my mum knows i like twelveclara. and she was in the room for last christmas which is embarrassingly close to being explicitly romantic. keep that shit more unsaid please
#and also the magician's apprentice party scene which is super fun and the first time i watched it and she was there i was just openly enjoyi#ng it. well now i want to die. esp bc she probably thinks the pretty woman thing for clara. well no i equally care abt missy.#me.txt#im not used to this shit usually what happens is i care about gay pairings and either it doesnt look that gay or mum will just not react#to it bc she is homophobic and would rather not think about that#or maybe more likely knows i dont want to hear what she has to say. i do appreciate that#wait actually i think half the problem is she probably thinks i have a crush on twelve 💀💀💀😟😟😭😭#well i do but she doesnt need to know that. prolly thinks he's not a dyke n all#also i am just currently thinking that some moments are a little Too open for my tastes.#Also i was talking to mum once about twelve's possible face blindness (and she'd seen the when do i not see you scene and when he couldnt#tell clara was like 80 or whatever#and she was like oh in the kdramas i watch they love to have the guy be faceblind but he can only recognise the girl. mum im trying to talk#about my favourite doctor who and also fucked up hetbait. not your vaguely hallmarkish romances#okay they are not like hallmark they are more creative and also better. she just says she likes them bc they're like chaste. and she started#watching them instead of hallmark shows#anyway. time to go home and watch before the flood and under the lake and she'll probably be there#the problem is that mum likes romances that are nice. and she probably thinks twelveclara is kind of nice or maybe that i think it is#mostly its slay and fucked#it should feel a little bit like being queerbaited (kind of bad but so good and like you may be insane but also you're deeply correct)
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