#i am also getting back to my messages!!! i hope you've been staying healthy since the last time we have chatted! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

aphrostarot · 3 years

Text

Future Relationship Pick a Pile

What is the present and future state of things with the person you are thinking about?

*you do not have to be in a relationship with them currently*

Please remember that this is a general reading and some things may not apply to you. Don't force it to fit. I offer paid readings on my page if you would like a personal reading. Prices are listed there. Please message me or email me if you are interested!

Pile One (Rose Quartz):

Where are you presently?

Seven of Wands:

Right now, someone in your life is causing you drama. Recently, you have been arguing and fighting more than usual with this person. This might be a romantic partner or an old friend. This person doesn't respect you or your ideas, and it has been showing more and more lately, which makes you retaliate and step up to defend yourself.

Where is your person presently?

Seven of Cups:

Right now, this person feels pretty lost in their life. After spending so long on one path, they are stuck, unsure of how to proceed, faced with multiple options on how to move forward in life. Right now, they must decide whether to continue on the path they have been on or take a different route.

The Hanged Man:

They will have to make sacrifices on this journey, and it appears that they are currently stuck due to a lack of desire to make those sacrifices. To move forward, they must give up something in their life, but this is a very difficult decision. Currently, they are at a standstill.

What obstacles stand in your way currently?

King of Pentacles:

One or both of you are a very materialistic person, viewing people as what they can bring to you rather than through an emotional lens. Based on the energy I feel that this may be the person you are thinking of rather than you. This person needs to let go of this mindset so they can choose the right path, the one that leads to you.

What do/will you provide for your partner?

Page of Cups:

When it comes to this person, you are very empathic. Your more sensitive side shows when you are with them, and you really want to help them through their troubles. You tend to be quite needy when it comes to them, feeling as though if they do not constantly show their love to you or express their love for you that they are losing these feelings. When it comes to them, you need constant reassurance. Despite that, you still show this person a more loving and gentle type of love, something they might not be accustomed to.

What do/will they provide to you?

Queen of Wands:

When it comes to you, this person is quite bossy. They are quite dictatorial. Most of what they care about is themselves and their pursuit of what they want, rather than your emotional needs and wants. However, they have no ill intentions or feelings for you. Love from this person makes you feel more insecure. This person brings out your abandonment wounds. As of now, your relationship is like this.

What are your future intentions with them?

The Emperor:

Since this person currently has a lot of control over you, it seems to me you want to be in charge in the future. You want to reclaim your throne and be the bossy dictator instead. For a change, you'd like to be the boss.

What are their future intentions with you?

Nine of Cups:

They want to fulfill all of your future wishes as well as their own. They want your relationship to be everything that both of you have ever dreamed of having.

Queen of Swords:

This may not reflect their future intentions, but rather only a possible outcome. There will be a woman who causes trouble in your relationship. Usually, it is a female relative, a mom, or a sister. In the case that you are currently having problems with this woman, this person's intention may be to handle your current problem.

What are some obstacles you will face in the future if the present obstacle isn’t dealt with?

Eight of Cups:

In the future, if you do not resolve the present obstacles, one of you may walk away and start a new life. According to the energy I am receiving from this pile, you might be the one to walk away from this person if they do not change their materialistic mindset.

Where do they stand with you in the future?

Knight of Cups:

It seems as if they will finally start to see you from an emotional point of view in the future. Eventually, they will start to be more romantic towards you and act like a prince charming. They want to be everything that you have always wanted them to be.

Where do you stand with them in the future?

The Devil:

I think that this person finally acknowledging their feelings for you and becoming less bossy and more romantic towards you is too little, too late. Ultimately, it will be you who walks away. Having had enough of the psychological trauma that this person brings up in you and causes in you, you leave them.

Channeled Messages:

“Dominate me”

“I wish you were lying next to me my love…”

“You are home”

“You are the one I want to be with”

“How can you miss someone you’ve never met?”

“I can’t stop thinking about you, you are always in my dreams.”

“I think you are amazing”

Frustration

Have faith

Please stay

Channeled Letters:

Channeled Songs:

Pile Two (Amazonite):

Where are you presently?

The Magician:

My sense is that you may be single and manifesting this person into your life. If that is not the case, then it is possible that your significant other isn't who you thought they were, so you are trying to manifest a better version of them through them or through someone else.

Where is your person presently?

King of Wands:

Currently, this person feels extremely passionate about the things they are pursuing in life. They work extremely hard to achieve their dreams and they are pretty successful. At this point in their lives, they are feeling pretty confident and feel as if they can accomplish anything they set their minds to.

What obstacles stand in your way currently?

The Hanged Man:

If you want to move closer to each other, you may need to make some sacrifices in one or both of your lives. For some, I’m hearing that the Universe is bringing you your manifestations but it may not look exactly like what you want. If that is the case then you will need to let go of some of your ideas of what you want in a person.

What do/will you provide for your partner?

The Fool:

There may be an age difference between you and this person, that or a different level of maturity between the both of you. The person you are thinking of seems to be the more mature and serious one out of the both of you. This person will see life in a more fun-loving, carefree way when you are around. You show them a more youthful approach to love and life.

What do/will they provide to you?

Death:

The Fool is all beginnings and Death is all about endings, so, this is another symbol of the two of you and your levels of maturity. You benefit from this person's maturity. Their guidance will help you to become a more beautiful version of yourself. They will help you let go of your past and grow into a better version of yourself.

What are your future intentions with them?

Five of Cups:

Despite the hurt you've suffered in the past and the sadness that has filled your life, you're still a positive person. Life still seems hopeful to you and you do not let hurt consume you. That hurt still resides deep inside of you, and sometimes it overcomes you if you are not careful.

I am receiving strong Aries energy from this pile, both Sun and Moon.

The Tower:

During the Tower moment in Tarot, everything you have accumulated over the course of your life comes crashing down around you. The Fool's journey describes them sleeping under the Tower when it comes crumbling down around them. It was a traumatic experience but they emerged from it more optimistic thanks to the fact that they lost most of what held them back and they are ready for a fresh start. I find this interesting because you bring the Fool's energy to this person, which shows me that you do embody the Fool. You know that this person will allow you to let go of your past and move forward. Therefore, your future intention with this person is to help you overcome your sadness and become a better version of yourself.

What are their future intentions with you?

Ace of Pentacles:

This person wants to build a foundation with you in the future. In order to make sure that you're happy and comfortable in life, they are willing to do whatever it takes. They want to make sure you can count on them for support whenever you need it. Their intentions are to build a happy and healthy home life with you. Possibly even building a house for you. They could also want to buy you an engagement ring.

What are some obstacles you will face in the future if the present obstacle isn’t dealt with?

Five of Wands:

In the absence of solutions to the present obstacles, some competition may be on the horizon. There may be people who try to steal this person's attention from you.

Page of Cups:

Your emotional immaturity may be another obstacle in this current situation. You need to start to mature a bit more and recognize that some of your desires are not what is best for you. You are being blinded by your optimism in this current moment and this may come back to haunt you in the future.

Where do they stand with you in the future?

Nine of Cups:

With you, their future is filled with wish fulfillment. You will fulfill all of their wishes in the future. Their dreams of building a foundation with you, of making you comfortable and happy with them are coming true in the future. As long as the obstacles are overcome.

Where do you stand with them in the future?

Judgment:

As for you, the future looks bright as well. You will see results in your current problems. By overcoming your current obstacles, you will then be able to be in a healthy relationship with this person.

Channeled Messages:

“Emotionally distant”

“Too self-conscious"

“Dominate me”

“I’ve heard that you’ve been a bad…”

“Can I know every part of you?”

“Playing hard to get”

“I think you are amazing”

Divine Masculine

Eternal Love

Forever

Channeled Letters:

Channeled Songs:

Pile Three (Amethyst):

Where are you presently?

Nine of Pentacles:

In recent months, you have been enjoying the fruits of your labor more than you did before. It is possible that you have been treating yourself more rather than saving money. It seems that you have struggled with money in the past, which is why you usually save money, but lately, you have been spending more than you used to.

Where is your person presently?

The Hermit:

For the past few months, the person you are thinking of has been living in hermit mode. Instead of spending time with friends, they have been spending time with themselves. This has left them feeling pretty lonely.

Three of Wands:

Recently, this person started a new job or has changed the way they work. They have had to work in a team more, and being in a hermit mode makes this difficult. They would much rather be alone right now, but their job requires them to work with others.

What obstacles stand in your way currently?

Three of Pentacles:

This is the card of putting your skills to good use. The process of becoming a master. Currently, your person is not doing this. Recently, they have experienced something that has caused them to withdraw into themselves, despite the Universe telling them they need to work with others to improve their abilities. This is preventing both of you from progressing towards each other if they continue to do so.

What do/will you provide for your partner?

Two of Cups:

It is possible that this person has never experienced true love. They do not know what it's like to be truly loved for who you are and everything you do. No one has ever brought them sweet, innocent, fairytale-like love. As a result, they may feel that they are unworthy. You will bring this to them. This person will experience what it is like to be truly loved by you.

What do/will they provide to you?

Eight of Cups:

Your tendency is to hold onto the past, fearing that the negative things that happened to you in the past will happen again. You will be able to let go and move on from the past when you are with this person. A brighter future awaits you with their guidance.

The Sun:

With them, you will experience true happiness. Your life will be better than it has ever been before because of them.

What are your future intentions with them?

Two of Pentacles:

You want to bring balance not only in your own life but also in their life. Your goal is to be the person that makes them feel complete and whole, the one that makes them feel at home.

Queen of Cups:

Also, you want to show this person what true loyalty is. You want this person to trust you and feel at ease with your relationship. Your way of doing this is by being an extremely kind, caring, and loyal partner. The last thing you want is to become the kind of person who has hurt them before.

What are their future intentions with you?

Strength:

They want you to see how strong they are. They want to be the person who you go to for protection, the one who is going to hold down the fort when you need it. They want you to truly be yourself and let your guard down around them and the only way they feel they can do this is by being strong for you.

What are some obstacles you will face in the future if the present obstacle isn’t dealt with?

Page of Wands:

If the present obstacles are not addressed, it appears that this relationship won't last. Maintaining a long-term relationship will be challenging for you both.

Where do they stand with you in the future?

Four of Pentacles:

It seems that this person will be very possessive of you. This can be a negative thing for some but, based on the energy I am getting from you, I think that you may enjoy this at least in the beginning you do.

Where do you stand with them in the future?

Death:

As a result of this relationship, you will undergo a transformation. At the beginning of the relationship, you may enjoy their more possessive and jealous side, but as the relationship progresses, you no longer enjoy this side. In the end, you will want to end this relationship.

King of Wands (reversed):

As the relationship progresses, this person turns out to be quite arrogant and domineering. When you realize they were hiding their true colors from you at first, you begin to lose feelings for them. You no longer enjoy their bossy attitude and actually despise it.

Channeled Messages:

“Just tell me how you feel”

“I tried to replace you but then I realized you’re irreplaceable. Now you’re gone.”

“Can I know every part of you?”

“I can’t stop thinking about you. You are always in my dreams.”

“I want to see you naked”

“Let me show you how much I love you”

“I see you in my dreams”

“I wished for someone like you”

“You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen”

Forever

Channeled Letters:

Blank - whatever you feel fits

Channeled Songs:

Pile Four (Fuchsite):

Where are you presently?

Queen of Pentacles:

Recently, you have been treating yourself to some luxury. As of late, you have become more self-loving, and this includes treating yourself to things you normally wouldn't.

Three of Swords:

After being heartbroken, you may have realized that you cannot rely on others to love you and that you must love yourself. Because of this, you have been treating yourself much better than you have in the past.

Where is your person presently?

Four of Pentacles:

Currently, this person feels very possessive over the things in their life. Perhaps they fear letting go of things or are sentimentally attached to pretty much everything they own. This leads to hoarding behavior, which they have always had but recently has gotten worse. This person gives me strong Cancer energy.

Eight of Swords:

In addition, they seem to be trapped in their own minds. Insecurities that they have lived with all their lives have resurfaced and are causing them a lot of trouble. This may explain why they are hoarding things. I also feel that they may be moving right now and this is what is causing the insecurities and hoarding behavior because they may fear change.

What obstacles stand in your way currently?

The Devil:

You have been unable to come together because of this person's hoarding addiction. The reasons why they hoard stem from their anxieties and insecurities, which are a result of their fear of change and abandonment. In order for the two of you to come together, this person needs to get these behaviors under control.

What do/will you provide for your partner?

Queen of Cups:

You will be an extremely kind, caring, and loyal partner. Providing them with an outlet for expressing their emotions. This person will be more willing to open up with you in their life. As a result, they will be more willing to get out of their own heads.

What do/will they provide to you?

Ten of Pentacles:

This person will bring you abundance. Everything you have ever wanted in life will be provided by them. You will both have a very comfortable life together.

What are your future intentions with them?

The Emperor

You want to be the dominant one in the relationship, wanting to control how the relationship goes. When it comes to them, you want to make the decisions and be the one they can count on to let go of their control issues and let you handle things.

What are their future intentions with you?

Nine of Cups:

It is this person's dream to fulfill every one of your dreams. Their goal is to make your life full of joy and abundance. My impression is that they are willing to give you control so long as they can be the person that you have always dreamed of being, and as long as they can fulfill all your wishes.

What are some obstacles you will face in the future if the present obstacle isn’t dealt with?

Two of Cups:

If the present issues are not addressed, it seems that the two of you will struggle to maintain a balanced relationship filled with love. Together, you will butt heads and have a hard time finding happiness.

Where do they stand with you in the future?

The Lovers:

The future looks bright on their end. They seem to have gotten control over their unhealthy behaviors and want to give you love. If you are currently in a relationship with this person, they will likely realize in the future that if they do not control their negative behaviors, you will not be able to remain together. This is what drives them to change.

Ace of Cups:

If you are not currently with this person then this is a sign that they too will realize that the only way for them to be with you is by them getting their negative behaviors under control. They will soon do this and come towards you with an offer of love.

Where do you stand with them in the future?

King of Wands:

In the future, you will be ready to commit to this person. You will be the provider for them, taking care of them and their needs, giving them a chance to settle down and let their guard down. The future looks bright for both of you and this relationship.

Channeled Messages:

“Don’t let me go”

“Not open right now”

“I want to taste you”

“My twin flame, my love”

“Want to make you scream”

“I’m testing your limits”

“I’m working on myself right now.”

“I am trying to protect you”

Fight for it

Time Apart

Channeled Letters:

Channeled Songs:

Though tips are not required, they are very much appreciated. Thank you!

Venmo: @ aphrostarot

Paypal: paypal/aphrostarot

368 notes · View notes

lilallama · 3 years

Note

Hey admin chan, how you doing and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! I hope this year is better than last year.

How's my taehyung, i hope hes doing well. Please tell him I miss him and I also have a lil bone to pick with him.

"Happy Christmas & New Years Tae, since i didnt get to see you for the Holidays. You forgot me for the entire season!!!!! Youre gonna have to beg to get back into my good graces. My birthday is tomorrow and I hope i can get showered with Cinnabon & cute stationery", i say tearin up a lil bit.

Hey author chan is there anyway i can get a special message from him tomorrow admin chan? Hope i wasnt spammin too much and if so I apologize.

A/n: Hey! I hope the new year will be better too. Make sure to stay safe and enjoy the new year, everyone. The cooking club missed y'all soo much! And no, I'm totally not writing this because I'm held at gunpoint by Taehyung ^^'.

"My angel! Merry christmas and happy new years to you as well, Y/n! It was pure hell not seeing my God/Goddess for so long. Oh no! No no no no no! I could never forget you, saviour! You are on my mind constantly. There was barely a moment I could rest not knowing how you've been. My parents insisted on taking me along for a family vacation to the mountains in Switzerland. I am so deeply ashamed for making you feel as though you are but a mere afterthought... You are so correct, dearest saviour! As your loyal servant it is my duty to make sure you are safe and happy. Words cannot describe how guilty I feel, how much regret in filling my heart. I dare not beg for forgiveness, what I have done is inexcusable, however I ask of you; how may I show my deep regret? Shall I buy you a new necklace, or a new car? No, that's not enough... how about a summer home? Wherever you'd like, I could get it arranged for you, dearest. Oh... Oh! My God/Goddess, please don't cry! Goodness... and all because of me... that's unforgivable! Such a lowly servant as I dares to bring an angel to tears. Of course, your birthday! As if I could ever forget such an important day. It really should be a global holiday- Yes! Anything you'd like, my saviour. I would find a way to fetch the stars from the night sky for you. Please, do not be saddened by my disgraceful mistake. I promise such idiotic things are never to happen again."

"I cannot believe I let such a terrible mistake happen- wait... It wasn't my choice, it was- AUTHOR!!!-"

Heeey~ everyone~ how were the holidays? How was new years? I hope everyone was healthy and well-

"Author! How absolutely dare you! Because of your incompetence I had to bring my dearest God/Goddess to tears! TEARS! Do you know what that means!?"

Gee, why do you always blame me and not the person who send the ask-

"If you weren't as careless and lazy, they never would've had a reason to ask! It's all because you were inactive."

...Okay, yeah true. Anyway, I'll make Tae write a happy birthday note for you tomorrow. It'll probably be added to this per reblog. Now, excuse me before Taehyung chops my head off.

#yandere bts #cooking club #yandere taehyung #yandere v #ask cc taehyung

38 notes · View notes

nurseofren · 4 years

Text

Keeping Your Promise - Chapter 24

Read on AO3

Read chapter twenty-three

Title: Prove it

Words: 6800

Warnings: Talks of pregnancy, mentions of vomit

Summary: A friend. A foe?

ST Rambles: I look pretty good for a dead bitch.

Okay. In all seriousness. In the five weeks that I have not updated, it has been chaos. School is absolutely kicking my ass this semester and I am not afraid to say it. Maternal-Newborn is a hell I would not wish on my worst enemy. With this said, I know any further updates will be sporadic, BUT - and I say this to snuff out any doubt on the matter - I will never, EVER, abandon this story. However it ends, rest assured that it will, in fact, do just that.

I thank you all for your patience and encouragement. This story is something I care deeply about and it just floors me that others do as well. I love interacting with you all, either on here or tumblr or TikTok (if you've made one and I haven't seen it, please tag me! My fyp does not work in my favor lol).

Be kind. Don't forget to be a person. All you can do is try your best.

[MASTERLIST] | BANNER/@elmidol

Good afternoon,

I can only hope this correspondence finds you safe and well.

The Board of Physicians sympathizes during this time of displacement and potential grieving. There are countless variables to be considered during uncertain times like these, but those of your safety and well-being are of the utmost importance. In an effort to convey the depth of our understanding, a unanimous vote has approved the decision to extend the dates of the trial by seven days. Upon receiving this official communication, you should plan to arrive on Canto Bight a minimum of two days prior to the morning of the initial hearing. An updated outline has been attached at the end of this e-mail for reference and sent to all pertinent parties.

Per the initial correspondence, Commander Ren is to receive a new provider prior to the trial’s start date. This objective has been met with the solemn barrier of the diminished population of approved nurses and physicians which resulted from the recent tragedy of Starkiller Base. There have been additional unforeseen circumstances also working to lengthen and altogether halt this approval process. Rest assured that we are doing everything in our power to ensure the trial proceedings occur in an organized and professional manner.

The emergent provider shortage, along with the unknown – and likely diminished – amount of surveillance retained from Starkiller Base prior to its destruction, has laid the foundation for the discussion of potential and probable employment during your time on Canto Bight. The discussions surrounding this issue are in their infancies. Should it be that you are to assume a care position during your trial, you will receive a further updated and in-depth itinerary. This would include the dates, times, and location you would be expected to work; this information would be accompanied by any specific limitations regarding your scope of practice while on trial.

Though you are encouraged to reach out to discuss any questions or concerns you may have pertaining to these new developments, the current agenda is to be followed with strict compliance. Should there be any changes, as stated previously, I will communicate these to you in a timely and conscious manner.

Respectfully,

Karmen Zag, Esq.,

Head of Communications,

The Board of Physicians

“Yeah, well, you can go fuck yourself Karmen Zag. Stupid ass name anyway.”

Not that anyone could hear you, nor that anyone would care, you could not help the petty jab. Karmen Zag, the faceless mouthpiece of the institution actively seeking your death, had little to do with anything. Karmen Zag was not the one who had carved initials into your body; that person was elusive to you now. Karmen Zag was not the one who kept you from sleep; that person was dead, killed by the trembling hands of the very survivor they’d created. Karmen Zag was not the one you were currently hiding from; that person, achingly kind and too ignorant to know different, still came to pick you up from shift every night.

Cramped in the corner of a supply room, you sat with your knees tucked to your chest and your datapad resting on your thighs, eyeing the vent at the bottom of the door to spy Mason’s tapping foot. In the seven days since waking up in the medbay, six days since returning to work to help with the increased patient population – or, at least that’s what you were telling yourself – you had found yourself with a desperate need to distance yourself from Mason. He was unaware of all that was haunting you, nescient to the fact he was at the epicenter of the majority of it. To see him was to remember the choice you’d made, to hate yourself for regretting it, to be morally ripped in half by the unwavering war in the back of your mind.

The first three days he would always sneak up on you, flurries of white lies leaving while you fumbled away from him and into the nearest room. I’m on call tonight was your favorite. No, you weren’t, though you had been staying in the on-call rooms to hide the fact that you no longer held a residence on this ship. No matter if you had not received official word on your employment status, you felt an unease when thinking of returning to Kylo Ren’s quarters. It felt too broken, like you’d be a stranger somewhere you’d once considered a home.

Eventually, Mason being an inherent creature of habit, you’d picked up on his timing. On the fourth day you’d decided to stake him out, finding he would spend exactly ten minutes waiting, send a message to your commlink, spend another five toying with his own as he waited for a response, eventually asking whoever was nearest to tell you to call him. You never did. It was despicable, watching his hope falter as the days passed and you were never there to leave with him; wretched, but that did not make it any less necessary.

So long as you were away from Mason, you couldn’t hurt him. If you could create a rift between the two of you so great as to discourage any further interaction, you could save him from all the suffering that came along with being associated with you. On the other hand, you couldn’t deny the comfort you felt in deferring any conversation with him. Avoidance may not be a healthy coping mechanism, but all the ones you’d learned of in school were useless to your set of circumstances; there was no talking this through, no way to speak of Snoke or Kylo or Robbie without getting someone else hurt. You were trapped in your own, sole company; whoever you had become recently, you were barely tolerant of them, let alone fond. It was growing increasingly difficult to recognize your own reflection. At some point you figured you might stop looking altogether.

Zag’s update had been present in your inbox ever since returning to work; with each read through – which, now, you’d have read a hundred times – you felt time pass by. Each night you spent time tucked away here, the cold tile permeating the scrub pants you now wore; the uniform you’d had on when you arrived back on the Finalizer had been too tattered to reuse. Not that you wanted to wear it; in those tattered, bloodied threads lay the obvious truth of how entirely you had failed at the only assignment you had ever been trusted with.

Trusted. The thought made you shiver. Yes. Trusted. Past tense. In every sense it could be. Thus, folded into yourself, away from prying eyes or well-meaning friends, you scrolled aimlessly up and down the message. Though its existence annoyed you, knowing full well that there was no empathy or genuine concern behind the decision to delay the trial, it also brought you ease to know this portion of your life was almost over. Again you were embracing the possibility of your death, only this time rooted in hatred for yourself, not Kylo Ren.

“Alright, well, can you tell her-,”

“Tell her to call you. Got it. Do every night.” One of your coworkers had grown exasperated with Mason – or was it with you? Either way, peeking through the vent slats, you spied Mason’s legs drag out of view. It made your heart fall, feeling more disgusted with yourself each day; it was this confusing combination of feeling a pull to run after him, to apologize to him with every breath you had left, only for that initial urgency to be swallowed by the knowledge that the action would be futile.

With tired eyes, not having gotten more than two hours of unbroken sleep since the sixteen you’d woken from, you looked to your left wrist. It was a routine gesture, pointless in the fact you had not worn the watch since finding it on your bedside table. Much like your uniform, only agonizingly amplified, the sight of the gadget inspired a hollowness in your chest. It remained in a pillowcase, hidden atop the bed you’d claimed. Each night you toyed with it, thumbed at the lifeless screen and wondered if it would ever offer another flicker; each night you caught the hazy reflection of two unfamiliar eyes, finding only the remnants of shattered promises staring back at you.

A sigh crept into your lungs when you stood, arms stretching and hands smoothing back your hair before going to activate the door. It hissed open without your indication; before you could question how, two hands pushed you out of the way and sent you flying face first into the storage shelves. Nose first, actually; the collision rang through your ears, pain throbbing in prominence as you stumbled for stability, arms widespread and eyes pinched shut.

“Oh! You have to be kidding!” Copper crept down your upper lip, cascading over your sharp tongue, foggy eyes opening to blood-stained fingers. “Watch where you’re going, jeez!”

Away from you sounded the door as it shut, but that wasn’t the sound that alarmed you. Across the room, near the sink – at least you hoped it was near the sink – came the horrendous retching that could only indicate vomit. The longer you listened, though, all the while blindly searching for a package of gauze, you found it wasn’t vomit, but an attempt towards it; echoes of dry heaves wracked the room, vomit absent even as the stranger continued in their effort toward expulsion.

A spill of winces left you, a grimace following suit when you tipped your head back, blood draining down your throat. You found a box of gauze squares and tore it open, peeling away a layer and rolling it into a cone before pushing it into one nostril. Vessels pounded against the material, injury soaking into it as you caught your breath.

“I’m so sorry,” a familiar voice said, groggy and breathless. “The refresher was occupied, and the occupancy indicator wasn’t on.” She took another breath, gasping back spit. “I figured the sink in here would do.”

Another person you’d been avoiding. Talia. Sick. As she would be, of course. It was something you’d fought thoughts on; it was too confusing, too unnerving to put the pieces you’d been offered together. Hux had left her room, had been so distraught. Talia had seized and ended up in the medbay. Armitage. Stars, how that word haunted you in the way it left her paling lips. She’d been so disoriented, so scared. Glassy eyes and green pallor. And the person she’d asked for was Armitage.

With these thoughts, dizzying as they had become, came the image of the very thing that tied them all together: that square-cut, printed, glossy ultrasound picture. Between nightmares of Robbie and desperately trying to find any amount of sleep, you saw it clear in your head, remembered how you’d lost your ability to stand when you first considered the reality of it. It all made sense clinically; the symptoms, the tangible evidence showing a yolk sac, the patient identifiers framing the monochrome image.

But, when you remembered running into Hux, remembered the ghost in his eyes and felt the rather unsettling demeanor – one not marked with errant hatred – he’d met you with, it all started to blur. Jumble. Your mind rejecting the thought that Talia and Hux-

Talia mewled, your eyes opening to find white knuckles outfitting a vise grip over the sink’s metal edge. The fluorescent lights lining the ceiling made it all too easy to see how sick she really was. Tears glinted down her cheeks, her hair dull in its tousled bun, a string of spit straying from her bottom lip; there was a suggestion of green just below the surface of her skin, exhaustion evident in the lavender drapes below her eyes.

A shaky breath left her before she rested against the sink, elbows bent and fingers rolling over her temples. For a moment there was a deafening silence, one that strangled you and emphasized the throbbing in your nose when you stopped breathing. It dissipated when Talia groaned, her head drooping and stance shifting.

“At least shift is done, right?” She sounded like she was talking to anyone. She didn’t know it was you. She didn’t know you knew.

Swallowing, dropping your hand from your face, you tried to think of anything to say. But nothing would come. And, considering how little time you had left to know her – execution or not – you saw no point in frivolous small talk.

“How far along are you?” It was a low rasp; frail in its existence yet bludgeoning the quiet that had preceded it.

She didn’t look up, but you knew she recognized your voice; her every muscle stalled, hair even stilling as your words sank into her. It was the first thing you’d said to her since she’d seized. In her silent shock it dawned on you that it had not been long since you’d been in a situation similar to this; the two of you, a pitting silence, a mess – obvious and blaring – surrounding you.

Only this mess was not something that could be cleaned. This mess existed outside all you had once thought to consider. Though this room was less gruesome in appearance, it held that same suffocated dread, carried with it the reminder that everything could change without a moment’s notice. Watching the color return to her cheeks, absentmindedly brushing your fingertips across the raised marks atop your thigh, it hit you how true that fact was.

A small sound – a swallow – filled the room, a sigh to accompany it. “Six weeks. I think, at least. Maybe more.” She stood then, crossing her arms and leaning against the sink. A wall stood between you and her, invisible yet so entirely present. “No one knows.” Her jaw fluttered at its hinge. The wall was for her; a façade, a crutch. She was scared.

The door lit cool shivers down your back, hands digging into your pockets, a weak attempt at a smile pulling at your face. “Congratulations,” you offered first, forgetting the circumstances before seeing her eyes fall to the floor. “Or not, I guess.”

She kept her eyes down. “I’m not showing, and I’ve been good about sneaking away to throw up, so…”

“Last week,” you said, her stare coming back to you, “after Starkiller. I fainted after arriving back here, and after I woke up,” I washed the Commander of the First Order’s hair and cried to his comatose body about how my life is falling apart, “I just had to know you were okay, so I visited you.”

“I don’t remember seeing you. I actually… How did you even know I had been admitted to the medbay?”

“You were asleep. I didn’t want to wake you.” You chewed your cheek, recounting any of those 48 hours made your pulse jump. “You weren’t well off when I found you, before they took you to the medbay, so I wouldn’t expect you to remember me being there.”

Her brow dipped for half a second, a crack creeping into that wall. “I didn’t know you found me. It’s difficult for me to even recall most of that day.” Her shoulders dropped, stature less rigid now. “Thank you, though.”

You nodded, not entirely sure why she felt it necessary to thank you. “Yeah. So, you were sleeping and I saw the tests ordered on your board. And then I found your ultrasound on the floor.”

Her eyes were so distant, pupils housing a familiar ghost. “It must have fallen when I was sleeping.” Her lips parted with the whisper, egregious loneliness overwhelming the thought.

It felt like the floor would fall out at any second, the interaction so fragile. Watching her with intent, measuring her reactions, you charged ahead into territory you’d been afraid to enter for so long.

“Talia,” you started, buying more time to think on your phrasing. Her focus startled back from wherever her mind had taken her. “I mean, maybe this is ridiculous, and maybe I’m so far off base in even suggesting it…”

Her arms dropped when a hand reached to tuck a collection of stray hair behind her ear, nose sniffing, teeth pulling at her bottom lip. She took her eyes from yours, breath picking up. That wall she stood behind was wearing.

You couldn’t stand beating around the bush any longer, sick of theorizing about it all. It fled out, no breath to separate any of it. “I’ll just say it: Hux was leaving your room when I came around. And he was being weird. So weird. I mean, he was being… would I say nice? Maybe just, less awful? He complimented me. And it was so weird, but I thought I would give him the benefit of the doubt because, you know, he’d just lost a lot of men. But then it was you in the room and I.. he was so distraught? That is barely the right word, but I mean? He just wasn’t General Hux. And then I found the ultrasound and remembered how you’d asked for ‘Armitage’ earlier when I’d found you, and-,”

A weep signaled the destruction of the wall she’d thrown up, hands clawing into her eyes and lungs heaving full of ragged, desperate air. “Oh, please tell me you didn’t tell him! He can’t- I don’t!” Sobs rolled off of her between each exclamation. “I haven’t told him. I don’t know how. I- he’s so evil! I can’t believe I ever slept with him!”

Seeing her come apart, feeling the guilt she did in every word she cried, you could only think to take her into your arms. In your hold you felt her shaking and the pain roll off of her in thick, grating waves. It was familiar, like she, too, had been existing alone; you had not noticed, so buried in your own avoidance that you had not thought to consider hers.

“I’m so sorry! I’m so- I’m so sorry! It makes me so mad that- ugh!”

“Hey, stop. Slow down,” you soothed, hugging her tighter. “You have nothing to apologize to me for. You’ve done nothing wrong, okay?”

“No, I have! I slept with my Master! And got pregnant! And he’s such a fucking jerk! He’s the whole reason you’re losing your career, you know? And I had sex with him! And I feel- felt real things for him!” A breath stuttered into her lungs. “I never meant for it to go any further than that first night, and then… fuck.”

It burned down to your marrow that you had the power to comfort her, knew everything she was feeling even if it wasn’t hatred that left you crying at night. She would be embraced in knowing you had also slept with your Master; it would minimize the guilt she now felt. To tell her you had fallen for Kylo Ren could help her know that she wasn’t alone.

Instead, feeling her tears accumulate on your sleeve, struggling to keep in your own, you kept quiet. She would not learn how you had burned so bright for your commander. It was selfish, but it was necessary. Self-preservation. She would be testifying against you, taking the stand right after Hux. Her not knowing would do no harm; it would keep her from having to consider or commit perjury. Talia now joined Mason, another soul to protect, another person you would lie to.

Several minutes passed before she stopped trembling, another few before the tears stopped staining your uniform. Humanity existed in these moments, and though you would hide how you knew the advice you would offer her, you knew she needed to hear it. A part of you did, too.

Moving your arms from her back and grasping both her shoulders, you locked eyes with her and forced her to see that you somehow understood her pain. “There is nothing to feel guilty about. Not that you slept with him, or that you got pregnant. Not that you felt things for him or that you still do.” Her eyes shut at that, a fresh streamlet dragging into her mouth. “You can still love him even if he has done awful things.”

“Gosh, how can you say that? He’s ruined your life,” she shuddered, grimacing before looking back up to you.

“I made the choice to take that blood. I had a choice,” your throat tightened, not knowing if you were reciting the words from their origin or from your dream, “I made the one I thought was the best at the time. Hux may be an ass in the way he has gone about the issue, but it’s not like he wouldn’t have reported me.”

She sobbed your name, confusion and hurt wrought in her features. “That blood saved that patient. You saved that patient. We both know that. You saved him and you’re suffering for it and I’m the one who wrote the incident report. He made me write it. Such a fucking bastard.”

Just like that, whatever weird internal truce you’d made with Hux disappeared. “Yeah, that is a dick thing to do, I will say that.”

She wiped at her cheeks, shaking her head. “I should have lied on that report.”

“And gotten both of us in trouble? That isn’t a solution.”

“If I had, you would be less alone in this. And I wouldn’t have to testify against you.” Talia’s eyes shot to the ceiling and back, frustration hot on her breath. “It’s just so-,”

“Unfair. I know. I have… I’ve beaten myself up about it too much not to know that.” This conversation was too similar to those you’ve held inwardly. It was becoming repetitive to keep sulking over something you could not change. But Talia, if she wanted, could change her situation. “We went through the same program, got the same schooling, I know you know your options here.”

She chewed her cheek, shaking her head. A long drag of breath found its way into her chest, releasing when your hands fell to your sides. “This is where you find out how stupid I am.”

It pulled at your heart to hear how hard she was being on herself. “You aren’t stupid. And if you are? Could’ve fooled me with your class rank and just general existence.”

A laugh, weak but not acrid. “Academics were easy. Career is easy. This life stuff? Messy. Complicated. I feel like no matter what I do, it will blow up in my face.” That earlier distance glazed over her stare, a glimmer of yearning present in the way her eyebrows pinched. “And what I want…think I want? I’m not sure it’s even possible.”

“What do you want?”

Talia shut her eyes, capitulation and indignance set in her features, jaw flexed. “I haven’t spoken to him since that night,” she whispered. “He watched me fill out that report. I was sobbing in front of him and he said nothing.” A hand smoothed over her hair and clutched into her bun, lips quivering for a moment. “I didn’t even know until last week. I woke up for a few minutes and they started talking about all that had happened – fainting and seizures and blood tests – and they immediately wheeled me down to have an ultrasound to confirm the hCG results and urinalysis.”

She paused, growing in distance the more she shared. “Was it just your electrolytes that caused the seizure?”

“Yeah. Yes.” She blinked back to the present. “Belkar actually said I was severely dehydrated and that my metabolic panel reflected that.” Talia was dancing between two timeframes; gentleness framed her face when revisiting that of the past. Something so delicate in her stare; adoration cusping on hope. “I always told myself I would never have children. It scared me seeing how sick they could become when we had our unit on pediatrics. I’d never wanted to feel so helpless as the parents I saw during clinical.”

It almost winded you to watch a single tear slip down her cheek, allowing her silence during her pause before she looked up at you, desperation drowning her eyes. She couldn’t find – or, maybe, did not want to believe – the words that overwhelmed her. “What changed?” You knew, but she needed to hear it for herself.

Her lips had become puffy, teeth pulling at the bottom one. She reached into the front pocket of her scrub dress, pulling from it that square print, only now with rolled, worn corners. “I know it’s early and there are so many things that can go wrong and I know I had been drinking before I knew, but…” A swallow bobbed her throat, a fond smile forming when she toyed with the scan. “When they handed this to me? Something just, I don’t know, came into view.”

A surge of immense pain coiled into you. In her reverie you saw yourself, realized how fortunate her situation was; she had something she wanted and even though it was complicated, she had a choice in the matter.

Again, her mind had wandered, distraction framing her tone; her brows pinched together for a second, a question sparking from her memories. “Have you ever wanted something so much, and maybe you didn’t fully understand it, but you just knew? For whatever reason, this was the thing you would do everything in your power to make possible? To have what you want, no matter how daunting or nonsensical it seemed?”

“Yeah,” you choked out, coughing against the new strain on your throat, “I think so.” Talia had that ability, though, and it cracked against your skull how helpless you were to go after what you wanted.

“You said that I could still love him if he’s done awful things,” she quoted, her attention returning to you. “I don’t love him. I don’t think I really know him that well. But…” She shook her head, shoulders shrugging and a puff of breath leaving her nose. “I miss him. It’s so dumb, but the bastard is nice to be around when he isn’t buried in politics. When he’s just a person. When he isn’t the General. When he’s just—” another smile, similar to her earlier one “—Armitage.”

“That has to be the strangest part of this whole thing.” A small laugh bubbled past your lips. It had been so long since the last one. “Armitage.”

“It was very odd at first. But I’m not going to cry out General, oh please General! when I’m cumming, so I got over it.”

Dumbfounded, all you could do was gawk at her candor. It warmed you, though, feeling like that first night you’d hung out with her. A good memory. Her cheeks pinked in your silence and the sight pulled you straight into a ruckus of laughter, tears – born in pain, falling from humor – and lightheartedness. It was short lived, but Talia joined in your fit; abashed giggles leaving her smile-tight face.

“I mean, I feel like it would be weirder if you were sleeping with Commander Ren.” Talia jabbed at your shoulder. “Calling him… Kylo? That just feels downright wrong.”

Instantaneously, your high fizzling into nothing before her, you found yourself right where you were when you’d said your first goodbye. Ky. It wilted your heart, shrouded whatever glimpse of happiness you’d just caught. Talia was too lost in the joke to notice you’d backed away from her, face turned so she couldn’t see the suffering rise to the surface.

“Ha, yeah. Wrong. So, so wrong.” You cleared your throat, brushing past the weak attempt at nonchalance, ready to be off this subject. “So you miss him? You miss… Armitage? Yeah, no. I’m gonna stick to Hux, if that’s alright?”

A final laugh lit from her chest, Talia waving you off. “That’s fine, of course. And yeah. I miss him.” Her brow furrowed. “Do you think it could work? Me and him, and—” she gestured down to her abdomen, placing the scan back in her pocket “—this?”

This was none of your business, and you doubted anything you could say would help her, but there was genuine curiosity in her voice. There was respect in how she wanted your insight into something so intimate and personal.

A sigh preceded your reply, unsure if you were speaking to her or yourself. “I think… Just as you said earlier: no matter if its daunting or nonsensical or even completely impossible – if you want it and you are willing to do everything in your power to get it?”

Hope lit behind her eyes, bloomed in her chest at the suggestion. “It could work.”

Struggle hid behind a mask of hope. Of course she did not know how it pained you to offer words that would never exist for yourself, and it wasn’t fair to ruin her moment of clarity with the bitter bite of ill-placed jealousy. There was no part of you that envied her condition, but instead what it entailed; you coveted her ability to choose the life she wanted.

Talia shook her head free, a giggle warm on her breath. “We should get out of here. Night shift is gonna run us off soon. You have the time?”

“Uh, not readily available. But I’m sure it’s way past shift change.” You started toward the door.

“Hey, I noticed you’ve been staying in the on-call rooms?”

“Oh.” It surprised you that she’d noticed. The knowledge warmed you to your core, both from embarrassment and appreciation. “Yeah, I know you guys have been swamped down here with all the fallout from Starkiller, so I just thought I’d stay near to help out.”

She tsked, your name a mocked plead. “You are Starkiller fallout. You need to rest. Especially now that you can. I got an update from Zag about the trial. You’ve got, what? Three or four days before Canto Bight? Seven until the initial hearing?”

She’d done the same math you’d gone over at length. Hearing it from someone else’s mouth made it that much more real. Frightening. “I know. I do, I know. But what’s wrong with spending them here?”

“You know as much as I do that working constantly drains the absolute soul from you. Even just working these past three days I have been dying for my time off.”

“Yeah, but you have a reason to be tired.”

“I’m pregnant. You survived a planet exploding all the while keeping the Commander of the First Order alive. Are you forgetting that?”

Talia, I wish I could forget all of it. “No, I’m just-,”

“And I know you’ve been blowing off that McCarty guy. He’s a physician, right?”

Maybe you’d been less discreet in your efforts toward avoidance than you thought. It felt like being caught; this web of lies was becoming a strain, less of a benefit, a hinderance rather than protection. “He’s… Mason doesn’t know what he’s asking for, you know?”

“No, I don’t know.” Talia strode to your side, stern eyes on your own. “Look,” a breath softened her demeanor, “whatever happened on Starkiller, whatever you saw or felt – it’s affecting you. I don’t know what it is, and I’m not asking you to tell me – though, you can tell me anything – but at some point it becomes a choice to remain stagnant in grief.”

“Hey!” Talia had always been blunt, but her audacity now clawed at your patience.

“Okay, sorry, yes that was very harsh,” she placed a firm hand on your shoulder, “but you are the one who made me realize that. Here. Now.”

Tears threatened but remained stuck in your throat. “Like you said, I’m alone in this. I have to be.”

“The way I see it, you aren’t-,”

“Talia, I am.”

“You aren’t. Me being here and that physician coming here every night is proof of that.” You met her with silence. She shrugged. “You could have left me to deal with my issues alone, but you saw me and knew I couldn’t.” More silence on your part, her stare flicking between your eyes. “I see you. You can’t deal with this alone. I won’t let you.”

You fought to hide them, but one by one fell the tears you had not permitted before. For so long it seemed you had been shielding others from hurt, ensuring a safety they were not aware they needed. Talia was offering that to you, now. Rejection was the first instinct to kick in, feelings of doubt and thoughts of I do not deserve this blaring in urgency.

But then she spoke, naming what you had been too scared to confront. “Choose to not be alone. It doesn’t make you a bad person,” her hand left you, overwhelming assurance in her smile, “You’ve been strong for long enough, for so many others. Let someone be strong for you for once.”

The next breath you took was a million times lighter than any you’d had since seeing Kylo those days ago. She really did see you, more than she could ever know. It was imperfect, of course; you weren’t sure anyone would ever be fully aware of how much pain you were in, there was so much you could never share. It was her offer that brought you solace; it may be superficial for you, but Talia was in your corner, and she believed, knew, that it meant something. In her eyes, pooled with intensity, you heard her loud and clear: that oath, born in blood, was renewed here and now, its strength indelible even in silence.

“Now,” she activated the door, its hiss shivering down your spine, “I think Mason would love it if you caught up with him.” The two of you stepped into the hall, already beginning to part paths. “I’d invite you to stay with me but I, uh…”

“You’ll be otherwise predisposed?”

“…We’ll see,” rose bloomed in her cheeks, “I don’t think I’ll tell him. Not tonight. Not yet.”

“Ah,” you sighed, a yawn slipping past.

“Get some sleep! And maybe just… get some, you know?”

The joke registered too late, her paces halfway down the hall before you called out, “Oh. Oh. No, I’m not with- we aren’t anything more than friends.” Not sure if she even heard you, she waved behind her before turning a corner. Well. That’ll need clarifying.

Heat flared in your cheeks, several pairs of eyes weighing on your shoulders at the outburst. Would there ever be a day when you were not embarrassing yourself on this unit? Given this would be the last shift before going to Canto Bight, probably not. Eyes tracking your steps, deciding to surprise Mason instead of call him, you found your way to the on-call room where your entire world was set up; remnants of a past one, at least.

In it you gathered your belongings – a pair of back up scrubs, a toiletries bag, and the lifeless watch. There was a hesitance before placing the device with the other items. Six nights you had spent staring at its blank face, resenting the stranger you’d come to see. Glancing your face before placing it in the bag, you did a double-take. In the most minute details, barely there, you found a familiarity in the eyes you met; they were less dull, something like life or light peeking through the surface.

You dropped the gadget into your pocket, gathered your uniform into the bag, and took a final glance at the shelter you’d sought amidst a storm that had nearly consumed you. Even though nothing had truly mended, there was comfort in the absence of solitude; in the face of probable death, the explicit knowledge that you were not alone made it less daunting. Less impossible.

A final breath brought the door to a close, footsteps leading you into the vast expanse of the Finalizer. The change in air was nice, lungs welcoming the difference and cluing you into the fact you still had a gauze square shoved up your nose. It took a tug to pull it from its place, a sting pinching at the sudden release of pressure.

“Shit,” you hissed, feeling a new stream of warmth trickle past your lips. Two fingers pressed to your mouth, testing for a mirage but coming back with the real thing, red creaks splintering into the ridges of your fingerprint. Without thinking you wiped it down your scrub top, forgetting you were no longer clothed in camouflaging black, but instead unforgiving grey. “Fuck!”

“Wasn’t this how I left you here the last time?”

The airlock must have snapped, lungs solid, muscles frozen. Tension seized your ribcage, pulse plummeting, blood bounding against tuned ears. Every bit of moisture abandoned your mouth. Every bodily process you could think of stopped.

There was no modulation, each word raw, bare, and clear as the last time you had heard their founder. At least, the last time you’d heard it while awake. It was less haunted now, filled not with insidious rage but rather bone-chilling earnest.

“I suppose not, given it’s your blood tonight.”

He drew nearer, boots heavy and steps paced to perfection, the rhythm of his stride an echo of your heart. Kylo Ren was less than three paces from you and all you could do was endure the sensation of a singular ruby droplet following the line of your artery, dragging past your clavicle, and ghosting the skin over your sternum. The crimson trail began to dry, steps no longer sounding when you forced yourself to look up.

Chaos tore into the base of your spine, every nerve ending firing at the sight of his bare face, no helmet to veil the visage you had memorized. The black strip rested in prominence, striking through his features; in it you found a curious attraction, finding it fit him. The wound was less severe now, healing with time. He wore no helmet, but that by no means meant there was no mask keeping him at a distance only he knew the measure of.

“Where have you been, officer?” Cyanosis was a likely reality, breath still evading you as each word fell in baritone; petrified pupils not knowing where to focus. “Your services finally required, and yet you were nowhere to be found.”

Nothing. No words. No sound. No thoughts. Barren in every aspect of cognizance, you remained silent and still, only knowing to perceive him for what he was: superior.

A twitch at his brow, a narrowing of his eyes. Studying. Testing. “How unfortunate; starved for words when they would actually count.” His injury moved fluidly against his words, a beauty in the way it ebbed with each syllable.

A ping sounded at your waist, commlink buzzing in your pocket.

Languid, Kylo’s eyes dipped toward the sound. “You should get that,” he drawled, eyes twitching before conquering yours once more, “could be important.”

His tone haunted you, demeanor too suggestive. You swallowed against a dry throat, locked in his stare, knuckles brushing your watch when you took out your commlink. It trembled in your grip, shocked muscles heavy with weakness. His concentration had become adamant, palpable, an eyebrow prompting your attention to whatever message had triggered the alarm.

Concerning the defendant,

In the week since the previous correspondence, it has come to be that the defendant is to partake in nursing practice during her time on Canto Bight. This allows the Board of Physicians ease in collecting surveillance imperative to their final judgement.

Commander Ren’s decision to bar the defendant from external practice has been nullified as to not contradict this process.

In permitting the defendant’s practice while on trial, the objective to obtain a new provider has been benched. Due to this, the defendant shall remain assigned to her current Master while residing on Canto Bight…

At last, breath flourished your lungs, an inadvertent gasp thrusting a glutton of oxygen into your airway. Crazed eyes darted over the message for any sign of a mistake that would prove it to be falsified; the only thing you could find was finality, a document containing the proposed schedule attached at the end of the message.

A buzz washed through your brain, overstimulated by the information, everything around you suddenly all too close and bright. Jaw bound shut but still trembling, eyes low and unfocused, a familiar pressure flicked just under your chin. The Force tipped your face upward, pupils strict in their position, passing first over a tense jaw and landing at last on the challenge that lay behind Kylo Ren’s glare.

“I’ll see you on Canto Bight, officer.” A serpentine smirk slithered along his lips, one stride bringing him so his face was hidden, shoulder linked with yours, and fingers jut out to graze at the hidden permanence atop your left thigh. His voice, an onslaught of emptiness, a cold threat, suffocated all that surrounded you. “You wanted to give me more? Prove it.”

#kylo ren #kylo ren fanfic #kylo ren x you #kylo ren x reader #kylo ren imagine #ao3 #st kyp

32 notes · View notes

spacesuitsforemergency · 4 years

Text

The Rise Of Iron Maiden

Chapter 5: The Return of Iron Maiden

Word Count: 2.9k

Originally Requested by: @amateurwriterbigdreamer

Previous Chapter: Failure to Launch

Next Chapter: Whatever it Takes

A/N: hope y’all don’t mind it from Tye’s POV, it just adds to the story and develops his character. Y/N gets her character arc going too towards the end.

5 YEARS LATER

•

Tye sighed in boredom as he wandered around the halls of the Avengers Compound, his home for 8 years now. He was 21 now, legally an adult. He could’ve gotten his own place 3 years ago, but he felt he would truly be alone if he did that. You lived with your parents and younger sister in the countryside, your dad wanting to isolate you from the hero life. This meant Tye hadn’t seen you for almost two years now, his only friend left was taken from him. He knew Tony didn’t mean any harm, he just wanted his daughter safe, but it still confused him.

Tye was always confused these days. He lived with Natasha Romanoff at the Compound, the only one left that was willing to stay with him. Clint had disappeared off the face of the planet, despite not being taken in the Snap. Tye was lost without his own best friend, Jaime Reyes. Jaime and him stuck together no matter what, and Tye never knew what to do without him. He was confused, on why the world seemed to take everything away from him. His mother, his father, his grandpa, his best friends, his team, his mentors...

“...Will you find out where he's going next?” Natasha asks holographic Rhodey. Tye realized he walked into the meeting room, where Natasha was having her weekly check in with the other teams.

“Nat...” Rhodey trailed off.

“Please.” She took a shaky breath.

“...okay...” Rhodey nodded, saw Tye, then cut off his side of the connection.

Nat started to cry miserably, and Tye didn’t know whether to make his presence known or just leave. He decided on the latter, turning to walk out silently.

“Tye?”

Tye winced, feeling like he was intruding. He turned slowly, a pang of sadness stinging through him when he saw the sorrow in Natasha’s eyes.

“Nat, Uh...Sorry, I didn’t mean to just barge in-“

“It’s okay.” She chuckled, wiping her eyes. “You want some dinner?”

“Uh...no, I’m good.” Tye shook his head, seeing the half eaten PB&J on her desk. “See you’re eating healthy.”

“Oh, what’s the point of keeping up a proper diet anyways?” She laughed, despite the few tears rolling down her face.

“Good point.” He cracked a grin, which she rarely saw the young man do. “So...anything bad happening anywhere?”

“No. Everything seems under control.” Nat shook her head. “Why? You worried about something?”

“It’s nothing, mom.” Tye shook his head. When he didn’t get any response, he looked up from staring at the floor, seeing Natasha staring in surprise at him. “What?”

“You called me mom.” She said, the shock evident in her voice.

“I did? Oh...uh...sorry, I didn’t mean to it just kinda-“ he started to awkwardly walk away.

“No no no!” She stood up, clearing her throat and a smile spreading across her face. “It Uh...you think of me as a mom?”

“I mean...yeah.” Tye mumbled, embarrassed. He wasn’t used to letting his emotions or thoughts be exposed like this. “You practically raised me ever since I got...stuck here. I’ve always looked up to you.”

“That...really?” She smiled wider, tears running down her face again.

“Oh don’t cry! This is sappy enough as it is!” Tye grumbled as Natasha laughed at his reaction. She rounded the desk and pulled him into a hug, Tye stiffening at first. He eventually grew comfortable enough to hug her back, feeling safe in her arms. It reminded him of his mother’s hugs, but somehow Natasha’s were more...genuine. Loving. It was nice. Something Tye wasn’t used to.

“I’ll tell you a secret, kid.” She ruffled his hair as she pulled back. “I’ve always wanted a son, and I am so happy you’re the one.”

“Okay, that’s enough love and affection for one night, Nat.” Tye shuddered, making her laugh again.

“Don’t you mean mom?” She teased.

The mother and son (sort of) whipped around when a hologram popped up, seeing footage of what looked to be a security camera.

“Oh! Hi. Hi! Is anyone home? This is Scott Lang. We met a few years ago, at the airport? In Germany? I got really big, and I had my mask on. You wouldn't recognize me.” Scott Lang, AKA Ant Man waved at the camera.

“Is this an old message?” Tye asked.

“It’s the front gate.” Nat stared in disbelief.

“Ant Man? Ant Man, I know you know that. I need to talk to you guys.” Scott shouted.

Nat typed a few things into a control panel, and the door opened. Scott looked between the camera and the door for a moment before finally letting himself in. Scott found his way to where they were standing, in complete shock. Scott Lang was supposed to be dust right now, along with half the universe.

“Scott? Are you okay?” Tye asked the man, now nervously pacing.

“Yeah. Fine. So you do know me? Or are you just going with the name I gave you?” Scott asked.

“No uh, my friends broke into your house a few years ago. Before the Snap, remember a guy in a spider suit and another in a beetle suit?”

“Right! The Bug Squad!” Scott smiled excitedly. “That was so cool.”

“Scott, focus.”

“Right. Have you guys studied Quantum Physics?”

“Only to make conversation.” Nat said, though neither guy could tell if she was joking.

“Sorry, no.” Tye pursed his lips.

“Alright. So... five years ago, right before Thanos, I was in a place called the Quantum Realm. The Quantum Realm is like its own microscopic universe. To get in there, you have to be incredibly small. Hope, she's my...She was my...She was supposed to pull me out. And then Thanos happened, and I got stuck in there.” Scott explained.

“I’m sorry, that must’ve been a long five years.” Nat said.

“Yeah, but that's just it. It wasn't. For me, it was five hours.” Scott shook his head rapidly. Tye looked at his mom, bewildered.

“See, the rules of the Quantum Realm aren't like they are up here. Everything is unpredictable. Is that anybody's sandwich? I'm starving.” Scott asked, already shoving half of it into his mouth.

“Scott, what are you talking about?” Tye asked, crossing his arms.

“What I'm saying is, time works differently in the Quantum Realm. The only problem is right now, we don't have a way to navigate it. But what if we did? I can't stop thinking about it. What if, we could somehow control the chaos, and we could navigate it? What if there was a way to enter the Quantum Realm at a certain point in time but then exit at another point in time? Like... Like before Thanos.” Scott slowly explained, motioning wildly with his hands.

“Wait, are you talking about a time machine? Like from Back to the Future?” Tye raised his eyebrows.

“No. No, of course not. No, not a time machine. It's more like a... Yeah, a time machine. I know it's crazy. But I can't stop thinking about it. There's gotta be some way...There's gotta be...some w... it's crazy.” Scott rambled.

“Scott, I get e-mails from a raccoon, so nothing sounds crazy anymore.” Natasha scoffed.

“So who do we need to talk to about this?” Scott asked them. Nat and Tye exchanged glances again, both knowing the answer.

•

You tapped your fingers impatiently on your windowsill, looking out the window of your bedroom.

You had received a text from Tye Longshadow for the first time in months, and they were coming to your house. You were sworn to secrecy, so that your dad couldn’t prepare for the attack. You were anxious, wanting to see them so bad.

Your dad had isolated you from anything that had to do with being Iron Maiden. That included a lot of people in your life. You were mad at your dad, for taking you away from what little you had left. You missed Tye, you missed Natasha and Steve, and Rhodey and Dr. Banner. Thor and Clint, even though they weren’t really around anymore. Even Nebula and the rude raccoon. You were forbidden from putting on the Iron Maiden suit, and you didn’t know why you listened to him. You were an adult, you could make your own decisions. Plus, you’d never listened to him before. Maybe you listened this time because the guilt of not listening before the Snap dragged you down. But it also dragged you down as a person. You weren’t as happy or sarcastic anymore, you’d lost the classic Stark Charm™️.

You looked at the photos on your window sill, smiling sadly as you reminisced about what felt like your past life. One photo was you and your team after your first official Avengers permitted mission, all beat up and tired, sitting at a pizza booth. The other was of you and Peter in middle school, holding the first prize ribbon of the science fair. The last was of you and Eduardo, the love of your life. Peter had snuck a picture of you two sitting across from each other at a diner, smiling and looking into each other’s eyes. Your fingers were intertwined in the picture, and all you wanted to do was feel his hand in yours again. To hear his voice in person, not just from old videos. To smell the scent of his fancy cologne. To look into his beautiful, big brown eyes. To feel his lips on yours...

You look up when you see a black Audi pull into your driveway, and you bolt downstairs. Your mother was thankfully working in her office, so you didn’t get scolded for running in the house. You ran down the gravel pathway, passed your dad and little sister, running to your last friend standing. He let you hug him, and to your surprise he hugged you back.

“Good to see you.” You say as you pull away from Tye.

“Yeah, you too.” He nodded.

“You still wear a headband, I see.” You grin teasingly.

“You still haven’t gotten taller, I see.” He retorted.

•

“Now, we know what it sounds like...” Scott trailed off after the heroes explained their (currently) hypothetical plan to you and Tony.

“Tony, Y/N, after everything you've seen, is anything really impossible?” Steve asked. He knew you had taken up your time studying everything, following your father’s footsteps.

“Quantum fluctuation messes with the Planck Scale, which then triggers the Deutsch Proposition.” You mumble, lost in thought.

“Can we agree on that?” Tony asked his fellow Avengers. They all look at each other, clueless. “In Layman's terms, it means you're not coming home.”

“I did.” Scott shrugged as Tony handed them drinks.

“No, you accidentally survived. It's a billion to one cosmic fluke. And now you wanna pull off a...What do you call it?”

“A time heist?” Scott suggested, a goofy grin on his face.

“Yeah, a time heist. Of course, why didn't we think of this before? Oh, because it's laughable? Because it's a pipedream?” Your dad scoffed.

“The Stones are in the past. We can go back and get them.” Tye explained.

“We can snap our own fingers. We can bring everyone back.” Natasha added.

“Or screw it up worse than he already has, right?” Tony raised an eyebrow.

“I don’t believe we would.” Steve said confidentially.

“Gotta say, sometimes I miss that giddy optimism. However, high hopes won't help if there's no logical, tangible way for me to safely execute said time heist. I believe the most likely outcome would be our collective demise.” Tony ranted.

“Not if we strictly follow the rules of time travel. That means no talking to our past selves, no betting on sporting events-“ Tye listed.

“I'm gonna stop you right there, Tye. Are you seriously telling me that your plan to save the universe is based on Back To The Future?” Tony asked his ex-mentee. “God, I’m gone for a couple years and you start saying stupid shit like this?”

“...no.” Him and Scott mumbled in unison.

“Good. You had me worried there. 'Cause that'd be horse shit. That's not how quantum physics works.”

“Tony...We have to take a stand.” Natasha tried to persuade him.

“We did stand. And yet, here we are.”

“I know you got a lot on the line. You got a wife, daughters. But I lost someone very important to me. A lot of people did.” Scott said desperately. “And now, now we have a chance to bring her back. To bring everyone back. And you're telling me that won't even...”

“That's right, Scott, I won't even. I have kids.”

As if on cue, Morgan runs out onto the porch, your dad picking her up.

“Mommy told me to come and save you.” She said shyly, weary of the new faces.

“Good job. I'm saved.” Tony kisses her on the head as he picked her up, before turning back to the heroes. “I wish you'd come here to ask me something else. Anything else. Honestly, I...I missed you guys, it was...Oh, and table's set for seven.”

“Tony, I get it. And I'm happy for you, I really am. But this is a second chance.” Steve tried to reason with him.

“I got my second chance right here, Cap. I can't roll the dice again. If you don't talk shop, you can stay for lunch.” Tony said, and it stung when he didn’t point to you too. You watch him leave, ignoring his orders to come inside.

“I’m in.” You tell them.

“Won’t your dad...?” Natasha trailed off.

“He’s not in control of me.” You shook your head. “If there’s even the slightest chance this will work, I’m in.”

“It’ll definitely work if we have a Stark with us.” Scott grinned.

“Glad to have you back, Iron Maiden.” Steve pat your shoulder.

You smile, not hearing yourself be referred to by that name in such a long time. It made your heart fill with pride, and fueled your determination.

“Y/N Stark.” Tony said from the doorway.

“Don’t leave without me.” You tell them, glaring at your father as you push past him.

“Y/N, where are you going?” Your dad demanded.

“With them.” You spat as he follows you upstairs. “I’m going to try. Unlike you, I have hope.”

“It’s not that I don’t have hope. I just can’t risk any of this.” Tony insisted.

“Any of what? What kind of life is this, dad? Sure it’s great for you, but did you ever stop to look at it from my perspective?” You ask as you grab a bag from under your bed, tossing your photos from the windowsill into it.

“All I’ve ever done is protect you.” Your dad says through his teeth. “Why are you doing this? To get back at me?”

“No dad! I’m doing this because I want everyone back! This is my chance to save everyone! It’s my fault Thanos did this in the first place! If I was stronger, Eduardo would still be here! Peter! Jaime! Bucky! Wanda! The Guardians! Doctor Strange! Sam! Don’t you care about any of them?”

“Of course I care about them! But I care about my family more!”

“They’re my family!” You yell at him, the frustration that you’ve been bottling up for years finally pouring out.

“So that’s it?” Your dad scoffs and shakes his head in disappointment. “What if you screw this up? Huh? What if you make things worse. You’re willing to risk your mother’s life? Your little sisters, for your boyfriend?”

“You know what? Yes.” You snap, zipping your bag up and tossing it over your shoulder. “Not just for him. For everyone. For my life. I want my life back, and apparently that’s something you can’t give me.”

You storm out of your room and down the stairs, seeing Morgan sitting at the table, eating lunch. She grins when she sees you, looking at your bag.

“Where are you going?” She asked as you walked over and kneeled next to her seat.

“I’m gonna go see some old friends for a little bit. Think you can hold down the fort around here?” You ask her.

“Yeah.” She smiled.

“Are you sure? It’s gonna be tough without me.” You tease her. “You’re gonna have to make sure daddy does the laundry right, you know how he always mixes up the soaps. And you have to make sure to save daddy from mommy’s scolding. Think you can take it, soldier?”

“I can take it.” She nodded happily.

“Alright.” You hug her. “Love you, kiddo. See ya later.”

“Bye.” She waved at you until you shut the door, and walked down to the car with the others.

“Iron Maiden and Apache Chief, back again.” Tye fist bumped you.

“Iron Maidens back in the game!” You cheer happily.

“He’s scared.” Natasha said to Steve and Scott.

“He’s not wrong.” Steve shrugged.

“Yeah, but I mean, what are we gonna do? We need him. I mean, we managed one Stark, but we need both. No offense, Ms. Tony Starks Daughter. What, are we gonna stop?” Scott rambled nervously.

“No, I wanna do it right. We're gonna need a really big brain.” Steve shook his head.

“Bigger than his?”

#the rise of iron maiden #eduardo dorado jr x stark! reader #tye longshadow #natasha romanoff #scott lang #steve rogers #tony stark #morgan stark #pepper potts #avengers endgame #marvel #request #young justice #peter parker #spiderman #jaime reyes #blue beetle

21 notes · View notes

archadianskies · 5 years

Note

people keep teasing us about being a couple so we come up with a plan to fake date and have a fake breakup so they’ll feel awkward and leave us alone, OR, my ex is an asshole and I really don't want them to think I'm still in love (Simon/RK900, unless you've got someone else in mind!)

「 hold me, til i’m not lonely anymore 」 → on Ao3

The thing about those long days and nights in Jericho before Markus’ arrival is that hopelessness makes any relationship seem positive. Bonding out of desperation and survival seemed the right thing, the perfectly normal thing, to do at the time to soothe his abandonment issues and incessant craving for validation and affection.

It had started off as a healthy relationship- a broken runaway PL600 and a discarded AX700, two domestics with no family to care for but each other. They had found solace together, and the cold dreary nights in the rotting freighter seemed just a little warmer. But Gideon was possessive, fiercely so, and detested Markus’ pacifist ways even though for the first time it seemed Jericho meant something, and had purpose and direction. Even as Simon quietly pined and yearned for Markus’ eloquence and easy affection and gentle demeanour, he stayed by Gideon’s side.

The possessiveness doesn’t stop after they win the revolution, and though they’re now recognised as living, sentient beings Simon still feels like he’s no more than an object owned by another. Gideon wants to make all the decisions, plans where they are to live and what’s to fill their apartment and how much time Simon is allotted to spend at Jericho. He is a broken runaway PL600, and so one quiet unassuming afternoon when Gideon is on a supply run with his team, Simon simply packs up his favourite jumper and a spare packet of thirium and runs away.

He hops from place to place, from the sprawling, colourful Manfred Manor to Josh’s quiet little apartment crammed with books, to North’s haphazard, eclectic Eden commune. They are his friends, they remind him, and they welcome his company even if Simon feels like he’s intruding into their organised lives.

To combat the ache for companionship, Simon throws himself into work; there is much to do now they are legally Alive. Without Gideon planning every moment of his life, Simon helps out as much as he can. When Markus informs them of the DPD requesting an android liaison to ensure open communication between Jericho and the police, Simon volunteers.

He knows Connor well now, knows the deviant hunter turned deviant is blossoming as an individual. He has likes and dislikes, a friendly, open personality and an eagerness to help. He also has a family now- a human father, a dog, and an android brother.

“Simon this is my RK900 brother, Ronan.” Connor introduces them, and Simon takes in the looming figure who looks like Connor but not quite.

“It’s nice to meet you, Ronan.” They shake hands and his grip is as firm as Simon expects an upgraded RK800 to be.

“It is an honour to meet you, Simon of the Jericho Four.” He replies with a nod, all crisp received pronunciation; a polished British accent is not on the list of things Simon expects though somehow it suits the tall, handsome not-RK800.

Gideon confronts him one unassuming afternoon when he is supposed to be on a supply run but isn’t.

“You left so suddenly.” There’s anger and betrayal in his eyes.

“I did.” Simon nods.

“It’s supposed to be us against the world!” He steps forward and Simon steps back. “All those days and nights in Jericho, hoping and waiting for a world where we’d be free and here we are! Why did you leave?”

“I too am alive, Gideon.” Simon replies slowly, unable to quell the sick anxiety rising in his core. “You don’t own me, or my time.”

“I’m the upgraded android,” he sighs heavily and he’s using the patient tone programmed into domestics when talking to children. “I can make the better decisions for us, Simon. You’re an obsolete android with an inferior processing core but I love you all the same. It’s alright, I understand it’s very overwhelming for you now we have many more freedoms than before. I can wait patiently for you to come to your senses. You’ll always have a place in my hearts, and in my life.”

Androids don’t need to shower but Gideon’s words make him feel grimy, as if there’s a layer of filth contaminating his dermal layer and he must wash it off. Gideon’s words play over and over in his mind and Josh worries over his red LED when Simon appears in his apartment to bunk down for the night. Josh wraps him in a blanket and loans him another sweater from his ever growing collection of gifted sweaters, and Simon’s LED slowly cycles yellow.

*~*

“You are distracted.” Ronan comments as Simon stares blankly at the tablet in his hands.

“Hm?”

“I said,” there’s the barest hint of a smile on his lips, “you are distracted.”

“Oh um.” Simon ducks his head sheepishly. “Yes. Sorry. I um- just…an old acquaintance reared up recently and we parted on not-so-nice terms.”

“Are they a danger to you?” Ronan’s voice loses all its mirth, his expression turning serious and Simon thinks he loves him a little for it.

“I wouldn’t say that. He’s not dangerous, he’s just very…stubborn.” Possessive, Simon wants to say but he doesn’t really want to say it. “We exchanged some words and I’m going to keep my distance.”

“It’s getting late.” Ronan glances outside. “I will walk you home.”

“Oh I-” I don’t have a home. “I’m staying at Josh’s tonight. We’re working on a speech draft together.”

“Then I will walk you to Professor Joshua’s apartment.” He says it so matter-of-factly Simon can’t help but smile.

“Thank you Ronan.”

Gideon finds him two days later when he’s at the creche visiting David, the sole YK500 who made it to and survived Jericho.

“Are you ready to come home?” Gideon asks, and his voice is soft and gentle the way Simon used to love. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’m not going back to you.” Simon says curtly, stepping away from the children so they’re out of earshot. “I don’t want to go back to your home, I don’t want to be with you anymore.”

“Ah, still thinking it over.” Gideon sighs, his smile placating and Simon hates it, oh he hates it so much. “That’s alright. I’ll wait.”

“You’ll wait forever, then, because I won’t go back to you.” Simon feels the anger burn in his core and he wants to grab him by the shoulders and shout until he leaves but he doesn’t do that because the children are here and the children deserve not to hear raised angry voices.

“Take your time, my love.” He reaches forward and brushes back a lock of hair from Simon’s face and Simon bites his lip so as not to flinch.

“Here.” Ronan offers him a soft navy blue scarf that had been wrapped around his neck but a moment ago. “Your hands are shaking. It is common for PL600s to suffer malfunctions in their temperature regulators. Please wear this to help stabilise your internal heat.”

Simon accepts the scarf with a nod and wraps it around his neck and closes his eyes and breathes in the scent of clean knitted wool. He doesn’t want to correct Ronan, doesn’t want to tell him his hands are shaking because of his encounter with Gideon earlier that day and not because of the cold.

“There’s an integrated cafe closeby, it’s where most of the precinct go to get their hot beverages.” Ronan gestures ahead. “The interior is kept at a pleasant temperature. Shall we have our meeting there?”

“Yes please.” Simon mumbles into the scarf, nodding to doubly confirm. He doesn’t want to think about Gideon, he doesn’t want to acknowledge that small black spot, that gnawing, growing fear for his safety that actually, Gideon might be dangerous after all.

*~*

The Manfred manor is wonderfully distracting with its eccentric style as eccentric as its owner. Carl Manfred’s abode is crammed with art in many forms, and the bursts of colour against the warm tones make the place feel homely and welcoming and exciting. Simon loves staying over, even if he hasn’t quite mastered how to hide his pining for Markus.

“Listen, as a big fan of your cooking I know for a fact that’s absolutely delicious,” Leo pipes up, “but I’m not sure you can actually drink that.”

Simon blinks, looking at the mug in his hands and belatedly realising it’s Leo’s hot chocolate and not his mug of thirium.

“Oh, sorry Leo!” He swaps the mugs and sighs tiredly.

“You’re super stressed. Your LED’s been red the whole time. What’s up, Simon?” Leo sets his laptop on the coffee table and scoots closer on the couch. “You alright?”

There’s no harm in telling Leo, Simon reasons with himself, since he’s not a part of Jericho and he’s not even an android.

“My…ex is…clingy.” Forcing the words out is harder than he thinks, and he buries his face in his hands, unable to even look at his human friend.

“Clingy? Yikes, sorry Simon.” Leo offers a sympathetic grin. “They still don’t get the message?”

“I’ve told him flat out that I won’t go back to him but he’s insisting I just need to think things through.” Simon sips idly at his drink, taking comfort in the heat it provides. “I don’t need to think about it any further- we’re over. I’m not in love with him anymore and I hate that he thinks it’s somehow his decision to make!”

“Wait, Simon, is he-” Leo’s tone changes, and it reminds him of Ronan’s protective tone. “Is he bothering you? Like, stalking you? Threatening you?”

“Well, I mean he’s not-” a sigh of frustration. “I don’t know what to say to him to convince him to let me go! Not- not physically! Just- the idea of me, the idea of us still in a relationship. He needs to let that go!”

“Say you’ve found someone else. You’ve moved on and so should he.” Leo suggests and Simon slumps down further.

“Leo, he’s a part of Jericho. He’d just find out I made it up.” Simon closes his eyes, feeling the fight drain out of him. “And I hate that some nights I miss him. Or, well, more that I miss being with someone and being loved.”

“You’re better off without him, he sounds gross.”

“I know.” He thinks back to the early stages of Jericho, to those long cold nights wrapped in Gideon’s arms and how the future seemed a little less bleak. Then he thinks of Gideon’s anger, Gideon’s patronising words, and suddenly those memories seem less sweet and more sour.

“I mean, I’d say pretend to date Markus but my brother is blissfully oblivious and completely ditzy when it comes to all that.” Leo grins as Simon shoots him a warning glare. “Anyway he’d be a downgrade. You’re absolutely wonderful- no I won’t accept your protests, you are, Simon, I mean it. You deserve someone super cool who will love you and keep you safe and my brother is not that.” A pause, his grin turning cheeky. “Pretend to date one of the Andersons. They’re plenty cool.”

He knows Leo’s teasing him, and it works because he lets out a helpless laugh and even a few days later just thinking about their exchange makes him smile to himself.

“Hello darling.” Gideon’s voice interrupts his fond musing, and Simon’s smile vanishes instantly. “It’s been two weeks now, are you ready to come home?”

“What part of ‘no’ do you not understand, Gideon?” Simon demands, exasperated.

“Look, I know you’re still finding your feet, it’s okay! I told you I’m patient.” He tries to soothe, palms bared in a calming gesture.

“My feet are firmly planted, thank you very much!” Simon spits, and he is fuming. “I’ve already told you, more than once, that I’m not going back to you!”

“Simon, think about this critically.” Gideon sighs as if he’s been put upon. “You’re a PL600, we’re made for each other. Who will love you if I don’t?”

It feels like Gideon’s reached over and yanked his heart regulator out, and Simon’s struck by how awful, how absolutely awful he feels as those words seep into his core and spread through every cable, every fibre in his body. Plenty, he wants to scream, plenty of people love me, the love of friends is no less than the love of a partner!

“I’m already seeing someone else.” Simon forces through gritted teeth. “I’ve moved on, and so should you.”

“Oh yeah?” Gideon scoffs, rolling his eyes. “And who’s the guy, Simon? Who’s willing to love a broken, obsolete PL600 if not me?”

“Ronan Anderson.” He clenches his hands into fists, willing himself to be brave, to not back down. “He’s an RK900, with processing capabilities far superior to yours. I’ve upgraded, Gideon. I’m not settling for a lesser model.” Without waiting for a reply, he pivots and strides away even though it feels like his knees will buckle at any moment. It feels like a victory but he knows it isn’t, it isn’t at all.

“Your stress levels, by the way, are astronomical.” North pokes his LED from where she’s lounging on his lap. “What’s up, Si?”

They’re sitting in a common room piled with cushions and beanbags and blankets, in a condominium rising from the ashes of the Eden Club. It’s populated by North’s brothers and sisters, those seeking refuge from their lifetime of abuse. Not many non WR400s and HR400s are permitted inside but Simon’s one of them. It must be a PL600 thing, Simon thinks, to appear so docile and hapless and helpless and the furthest thing from a threat.

“Si?” North prompts, sitting up and cupping his cheek with her palm. “Hey, c’mon. Look at me.”

“Um-” he takes a shaky breath. “Just…bad breakup, that’s all. Clingy ex, but I think I got rid of him for good.”

“I can kill him for you.” North shrugs, and though her tone is light Simon doesn’t doubt she’d keep her word. It’s why he loves her.

“I don’t think it needs to come to that.” He manages a short laugh, shifting to wrap his arms around her and bury his face in her soft strawberry blonde hair.

“If it does, I’ll kill him.” Her tone is deadly serious, just like Leo’s had been, just like Ronan’s had been and it makes his hearts ache in a good, good way.

“I know.” He huffs a not-laugh, squeezing her close. “Thank you.”

*~*

It’s been a week since he last saw Gideon and work has kept him busy enough not to dwell on it. With Christmas on the horizon and Detroit’s humans slowly settling back into their lives albeit alongside their newly appointed, newly legal fellow android citizens, the DPD are run off their feet. By extension that means Simon is too, but he welcomes the never ending list of tasks.

He spends more and more time at the precinct speaking on behalf of Jericho and ensuring both sides are kept updated with current events whether it be the status of yet another bill Markus is fighting for, or the progress on any one of the numerous open cases worked on by Lieutenant Anderson and his sons.

“Tearium, Simon.” Ronan announces softly as he sets the tall takeaway cup on their shared desk. “Ms Essie says it’s their new milk tea flavour.”

“Thank you Ronan.” Simon smiles tiredly as he takes the cup and carefully takes a sip. The coding spreads on his tongue, sweet and creamy and soothing. He closes his eyes to savour it and sighs in relief.

“Connor’s just waiting for Captain Fowler to sign off on the report and then we’ll be done.” Ronan takes his seat opposite him. “Shall I walk you home?”

“You can walk me to my taxi at the curb.” Simon corrects. “I’ll be heading to the Manfreds after this.”

“Good.” Ronan nods, seemingly pleased with the information. “Carl Manfred has a state of the art temperature stabiliser in his home, and it’s forecast to snow overnight.”

“You really don’t need to worry about me, Ronan.” He mumbles into his Tearium, feeling ever the burden.

“Perhaps. But I do anyway.” There’s something soft in his voice, in the small upward tilt of his lips. “I think we’re permitted to worry over those we care for deeply.”

“Signed!” Connor declares, and the moment is gone as he brandishes the tablet. “Report approved and logged. Time to go home!” He skips down the scant steps from Captain Fowler’s office, placing the tablet on his table and snatching up his coat from the back of his chair. “Shall we drop you off somewhere, Simon?”

“I’ll be catching a cab to the Manfreds, thank you for the offer though, Connor.” Simon declines politely, pulling on his coat and retrieving his half finished drink. He waves goodbye to Miss Stephanie, the ST300 receptionist, on their way out.

“Oh, it’s snowing already.” Connor holds up his palm, watching the snowflakes flutter down. “Is your cab far away?”

“Shouldn’t be too far now.” Simon looks down the road.

“Connor, you head home first. Sumo will need his evening walk before the snowfall becomes heavier.” Ronan opens an umbrella and steps beside Simon, holding it over the both of them. “I’ll keep Simon company and see him home safely.”

They exchange a look Simon can’t quite decipher, a probable conversation he’s not privy to, but it ends with Connor grinning one of his puppylike grins and Ronan ducking his head suddenly and averting his eyes. The older Anderson brother takes his leave and then it’s just Ronan standing very close at his side as the snow falls around them.

Simon sips at his tea, sneaking the RK900 furtive glances and trying not to think about how very handsome he is and how he’s actually rather funny and far more gentle and kind than his false reputation dictates. He tries not to think of how much he wants his parting words to Gideon to be a reality and not just a lie spit out of spite.

In a way Gideon is right- who would love Simon, not as a friend but as a partner when he is so broken and obsolete? Certainly not a one of a kind Kamski creation, the saviour of their kind and leader of their revolution. Certainly not the most cutting edge, state of the art android honed like a blade by CyberLife.

“Have a safe trip to the Manfreds, Simon, and goodnight.” Ronan’s voice cuts through his wallowing as the cab tucks itself neatly at the curb. “I will see you tomorrow.”

“Thank you.” For the Tearium, for the umbrella, for waiting, for being patient and humoring him, Simon wants to say. But he doesn’t, and Ronan closes the door and watches him drive off until the cab turns the corner and is out of sight.

Deciding to return the favour the next day doesn’t seem quite fair, and Simon can’t bring himself to buy just one Tearium and leave others empty handed so he ends up buying Teariums for both Anderson brothers, one for Miss Stephanie, and an actual coffee for Lieutenant Anderson.

He’s partway up the steps of the precinct carefully holding the tray of drinks when he spots Gideon sitting in the reception area. Their eyes meet and Gideon’s standing up and that means it’s too late for Simon to turn tail and run.

“Here Simon, let me help you with that.” Ronan’s voice is a gentle murmur by his side and he nearly jumps out of his casing. “Apologies, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“N-no it’s not- you’re fine, I just-” He’s stammering and Ronan’s expression is one of concern as he takes the drinks from him, Simon belatedly realising his trembling violently.

“Best to get you inside where it’s warmer.” He keeps stride with him as they enter the precinct, but all Simon wants to do is bolt away.

“So you weren’t lying.” Gideon greets him with a sneer, eyes roaming over Ronan briefly before returning to him. “Somehow convinced the RK900 to take pity on you, is that it? He’s not a domestic, Simon, he can’t take care of you!”

“Simon does not need my pity, or anyone else’s, he is perfectly capable of caring for himself.” Ronan places the tray on the reception desk, sizing up the AX700. “I do not appreciate you coming here to berate him publicly, and I do not care who you are but you will leave.”

“Or are you lying, Simon?” Gideon’s grin is malicious and the lie is unraveling in his hands. “Made up some relationship to make me jealous? Oh but that just means I’m right, doesn’t it? That no else could possibly love you, you broken, obs-”

Ronan’s hand closes around his throat, and the RK900 lifts him off the ground with no effort whatsoever, gaze positively murderous. “I love him plenty. And he didn’t bother telling me about you because you’re not worth his time, nor mine. Get out of here and don’t you ever, ever speak to Simon again.”

He lets go and Gideon falls to the floor in a heap, scrambling back in fear as Ronan towers over him. “You don’t even deserve to look at him, you cruel little cretin. If I ever hear of you approaching him again I will pull you apart piece by piece, do you understand?”

Gideon nods hastily, whimpering when Ronan lunges down to grab him by the shirt and haul him up.

“I asked: do you understand?” He growls, voice low and threatening.

“Y-y-yes! Yes I understand!”

“Excellent.” Ronan releases him. “See yourself out, then.”

Scrambling away, Gideon nearly trips over his own feet in his haste to escape and someone laughs a high-pitched almost hysterical laugh and after a moment Simon realises it’s him.

“Are you alright?”

“This isn’t happening.” Simon giggles and his vision is blurry and his LED is red enough it’s emitting heat. “I’m having an actual breakdown.”

“You are not.” Ronan’s expression is serious, his movements purposefully slow as he ever so gently guides Simon through the security gates and into a small room. “You are recovering from an emotionally abusive relationship and it has worn you thin. Your stress is understandable.”

“He- it wasn’t! That’s just how he is, he never hurt me I’m just overthinking things, I’m-” Simon can’t breathe which is an odd thing since androids can’t breathe but it feels like there isn’t enough air ventilating his biocomponents. “I used you, I told him we were together, I lied so he’d leave me alone and now you’re caught up in this, you had to lie to him too and I never meant-”

“What makes you think I was lying?” Ronan embraces him tightly and Simon cries because his system doesn’t know what else to do, how else to cope with his critical stress levels. “I love you plenty. Whether you accept that as the love of a friend or the love of a romantic partner, or not accept it at all- that is your choice to make. You need only tell me once, and I swear I will respect your wishes.”

“Then love me, because I want this to be real.” Simon pleads, and words aren’t enough so he lets the skin recede from his hand and Ronan presses his palm to his and the world falls away until there’s nothing left but the ache of yearning and pining and fondness and affection and love, and love and love.

He tips up just as Ronan leans down and their lips meet and their hearts sync and Simon knows finally this is real.

#rk900 #dbh simon #detroit: become human #you know i'm all about furthering the rk900/simon agenda!!!#annie writes: dbh #anomalous appliances

22 notes · View notes