#i am being sooooo normal about them

[ladyfenring]

[itsalwaysforyou]

jay not asking coach about letting lonnie onto the team bc he doesn’t want to do anything coach might disagree with…….

[jenasu]

It's 5am indulgent trainrot hours, do not perceive me

[warmspice]

It's LITERALLY OCTOBER

[keelanrosa]

terfs when a study shows literally anything positive about trans people/transitioning: 'hm i think this requires some fact-checking. Were those researchers REALLY unbiased? Because if they were biased this doesn't count and if they weren't knowingly biased they probably were unconsciously biased, woke media affects so much these days. Have there been any other studies on this? Because if there haven't been this could be an outlier and if there have been and they all agree that's a bit odd, why aren't there any outliers, and if there have been and any disagree we really won't know the truth until we very thoroughly analyze them all, will we? Were there enough subjects for a good sample size? Did every single subject involved stay involved through the whole study because if they didn't we should be sure nothing shady was going on resulting in people dropping out. Are we 110% sure all the subjects were fully honest and at no point were embarrassed or afraid to admit they didn't love transitioning to the people in charge of their transition? Are we 110% sure none of the subjects were manipulated into thinking they were happy with their transition? In fact we should double-check what they think with their parents, because if the subjects and their parents disagree it's probably because they've been manipulated but their cis parents have not and are very unbiased. How many autistic subjects were there because if there weren't enough then this doesn't really study the overlap between autistic and trans and if there were too many then we just don't know enough about what causes that overlap to be sure this study really explains being trans and isn't just about being autistic. How many AFAB subjects were there because if there weren't enough this is just another example of prioritizing AMAB people and ignoring the different struggles of girls and women and if there were too many how do we know sexism didn't affect the results. Was the study double-blinded? We all know double-blinded is the most reliable so if this one wasn't that's a point against it even if the thesis literally physically could not be double-blinded. Look i'm not being transphobic, i want what's best for trans people! Really! But as a person who is not trans and therefore objective in a way they cannot possibly be, i just think we should only take into account Good Science here. You want to be following science and not being manipulated or experimented upon by something unscientific, right?'

terfs when they see a study of 45 subjects so old it predates modern criteria for gender dysphoria and basically uses 'idk her parents think she's too butch', run by a guy who practiced conversion therapy, 'confirmed' by a guy who treated the significant portion of subjects who didn't follow up as all desisting, definitely in the category of 'physically cannot double-blind this', completely contradicted by multiple other studies done on actual transgender subjects, but can be kinda cited as evidence against transitioning if you ignore everything else about it: 'oOOH SEE THIS IS WHAT WE'RE TALKIN BOUT. SCIENCE. Just good ol' unbiased thorough analysis. I see absolutely no reason to dig any deeper on this and if you think it's wrong you're the one being unscientific. It's really a shame you've been so thoroughly brainwashed by the trans agenda and can't even accept science when you see it. Maybe now that someone has finally uncovered this long-lost study from 1985, we can make some actual progress on the whole trans problem.'

[thebitchkingofangmar]

right at the beginning of the Silmarillion (literally on chapter one) at some point it says that on everything that was made on Eä over the first days, Aulë had a part, and what makes me deeply insane about that is the same fucking wording used to talk about Mairon’s involvement in Melkor’s work. I am once again unwell about Mairon being unable to escape being a Maia of Aulë, because what if the true thing that you cannot escape is you.

[icewindandboringhorror]

Current temperature inside of my room right now in the middle of the night whilst about to go to sleep... villain origin story...

[imminent-danger-came]

Sun Wukong Knew About MK the Whole Time: A Theory

I am currently hyped up on leftovers and iced coffee, so let's do this!

I've talked about this before, here and here, but I think it's finally time I wrote an official post. You can go and read those posts if you want to (I definitely hit the nail on the head with some of this stuff), but I will be compiling a lot of what I said on those posts here!

So. Let's get the Mr. Elephant out of the room first: The David Breen Tweets. (thread here).

I see this tweet mentioned a lot whenever I bring up SWK knowing about MK, and honestly, this is a far cry from the "it's been confirmed that SWK didn't know" definite answer everyone's been implying.

So let's break it down!

#1: "Monkey King ain't the father"/"Monkey King isn't his dad." Well of course! Being born from a stone means you don't have any parents. I see it like this: Wukong isn't MK's dad, but he's also not NOT MK's dad, it's a secret third thing (creator and creation). Or, perhaps Wukong didn't help create MK at all, but he at the very least was involved in the circumstances that lead to MK being created/being born from the stone. (Aka eldritch abomination MK theory. My Beloved. Okay sorry.)

#2: "Monkey King was ripping his way through memories looking for MK, but kept coming back to the stone. He doesn't know why." So, while Wukong was ripping through memories, he didn't know why the scroll kept spitting him out by the stone. This is not a confirmation that Wukong didn't know about MK and his origins. It also begs the question: how did Wukong know MK was in the scroll to begin with? There's also some speculation to be had about why Wukong was so desperate to find MK to begin with:

MK: "Monkey King did this?" Macaque: "It looks like he's been tearing his way through his past—trying to find his way to.." MK: "Me."

(4x11 A Lifetime of Mistakes)

-

What was he so afraid of MK finding? Or, what was he afraid the scroll would force MK to experience? I think these are questions worth asking.

#3: "Wukong's trying real hard to leave the 'not being open with MK' days behind after s3. Problem is he's got lifetimes of info to catch them up on." Well, this one is a DOOZIE. One: we already know MK doesn't know everything about Wukong and his choices because he doesn't know Wukong killed Macaque (thank you 4x11). Two: "trying real hard" and "successfully doing" are very different things. And three: YOU DON'T JUST DROP INFO LIKE "Hey, did you know you're a Monkey Demon?" ON TOP OF SOMEONE RANDOMLY. Especially not MK. You have to prepare them for it.

Wukong is trying to do better and be better for everyone around him, but that still takes work. That still isn't easy. He's still going to make mistakes, which means he's not going to always go about being open with MK in the best way.

Sun Wukong: “Point is, mistakes happen, but so long as you leave the world in better shape than you found it, then it’s all good. Right?”

(4x01 Familiar Tales)

-

This scene—to me—feels like Wukong is trying prepare MK for his eventual "Hey did you know you're a Monkey Demon?" conversation he wants (and needs) to have down the line. Yes, SWK is trying to be more open with MK, but he's also just not going to be given that chance before the truth comes out.

MK: "Yeah right, if Monkey King really was my dad don't you think he would have said something by now?" Mei: "Yeah...because he's normally SOOOOO forth coming with information." MK: "Well uh, whatever—when we find Monkey King's stone, then we'll just ask him!"

(4x05 Court of the Yellow Robbed Demon)

-

Notice how they never asked Monkey King that question? From a writing standpoint, why bring this up at all if it wasn't to imply that (even if Monkey King isn't MK's dad) he wasn't involved with MK's creation in some way?

ANYWAYS.

NOW THAT THE BREEN TWEET THAT HAS RUINED MY LIFE IS OUT OF THE WAY, let's get into the evidence given to us throughout the entirety of the show. Starting with this:

This isn't a scene that takes place during the "A Hero is Born" special, as I'm sure plenty of people have noticed before now. Of course, this could have just been Monkey King "scouting out a successor", but with everything we know now doesn't that...feel kinda weird?

We were told at the beginning of the show that Monkey King gave MK his powers, but now we know that's not true. MK has had his own powers this whole time—and that's something Wukong, at the very least, knew:

Sun Wukong: "Listen kid: You fought demons, and you didn't die, and you made it here! Not just anyone can lift my staff, but you did." (1x00 A Hero is Born)

-

MK: "This whole time, I thought my powers came from the staff! Sun Wukong: "The staff's just a big 'ol stick bud! It takes someone special to lift it." (3x03 Smartie Kid)

-

There's also 1x09 Macaque, which I have mentioned before:

Macaque: "Ohohoh no, can't you hold the magic staff anymore? Well, you know what that means—there really isn't anything special about you. You're just a kid with a heavy stick."

This scene is then followed by MK lifting the staff, which only happens because Wukong encourages him.

MK: "Ugh, I can't! I'm not strong enough." Sun Wukong: "Kid! We're definitely going to have words later, but it's time for the Hero Stuff!"

(1x09 Macaque)

-

Ultimately, Wukong knows MK can lift the staff again even after Macaque supposedly stole all of MK's powers. He knows MK can beat DBK (more on that later). He does something similar to all this in 3x14, being the one to let MK face the Lady Bone Demon, powered by the Samadhi fire, alone (even after Pigsy tries to stop MK):

Wukong want's to protect MK. That's why he went to face the Lady Bone Demon alone in the first place—but here, he let's MK stop the end of the world all by himself. Why would he let his beloved student face not only LBD, but a reality ending flame alone?

Because he knows how much power MK has. Because he knows MK is capable of doing it.

This all brings me to my main point: If before now we were supposed to believe that Monkey King gave MK his powers, and he so clearly didn't, how would Wukong not know he didn't give MK powers. And because he clearly knew he didn't give MK any powers, why would he not question where this kid's insane level of power came from? He had to have "chosen" MK to be his successor for a reason right?

ESPECIALLY because Wukong never planned on being a mentor in the first place:

Sun Wukong: "I know I can never make it up to you. Honestly, I- I never thought I'd live as long as I have let alone be someone's mentor—turns out I'm not very good at it. I guess what I'm trying to say is...I'm sorry MK. For all of it."

(3x14 Destiny Fulfilled)

-

This was also alluded to in 3x05 Amnesia Rules:

Pigsy: "Of COURSE you don't remember the kid—one day you are going to grow up to be a terrible mentor!" Sun Wukong: "Ha! Zhu Bajie, can you imagine me teaching someone? HA!"

-

So, Wukong clearly didn't ever want to become a mentor, and this directly contradicts what Wukong says to MK in "A Hero is Born":

Sun Wukong: "You're perfect!" MK: "Perfect for what?" Sun Wukong: "To be...my successor!"

Honestly, think about it: has Wukong ever once actually needed a successor? When given the opportunity, he goes off and tries to handle things on his own anyways (Leaving in s2, wanting to go and reforge the Samadhi Fire on his own, going to stop LBD alone). It's the classic "we're being told one thing and shown another" trick.

Sun Wukong: "No no no- in case you forgot I'M retired, you're the one supposed to be taking care of the bad guys." (1x01 Bad Weather)

Even in 2x01 he's lying:

Sun Wukong: "Aw, come on bud! I promised myself that when I found a successor I'd go see some friends, take a tour of my old stomping grounds, just cut loose you know?" (2x01 Sleep bug)

It's proven in the next episode, and by the fact that all of his friends are dead/gone, that literally nothing he said here is true.

And, it's also note worthy to point out, that by this point Wukong had already disappeared for hundreds of years. Why step in again at all? Why put the effort into getting a successor you definitely were never prepared to have?

MK: "*sigh* You think Monkey King ever felt like this? Maybe that's why he stayed up on this mountain, just having a good time with you guys. You know cause- cause he knew he'd be out of the way where he couldn't hurt anyone he cared about." Macaque: "Or, he was doing his usual Wukong thing and being a lazy peach eating idiot. Ignoring all the worlds problems.

(4x09 Roast of the Monkie Kids)

-

So, I don't know about you, but I'm going to trust Macaque's insight on this. I'm not sure Wukong ever planned on coming back. Sealing DBK, he effectively cut off one of his last ties to the world (please go read wlw-wukong's thoughts, they are delightful), and he had already left the world alone for a long time. Why did he feel the need to train a successor now?

The simple answer is this: because he knew he needed to train MK and teach him to control his powers, and DBK's return was the perfect way to do it.

NOW. THE S4 MK VISIONS.

So, the visions MK see's all through out s4 (4x03, 4x04, 4x05, 4x06) are of Wukong ripping through the scroll and going to the stone—David Breen confirmed that himself in the above tweets.

Here's a list of what we see:

(4x03 The Great Tang Man)

-

(4x04 Pig Napped)

-

(4x05 Court of the Yellow Robbed Demon)

-

These are what I would say are the visions of Sun Wukong trying to find MK in the scroll. Yet, they are distinctly different from what Subodhi presses MK to remember ("Tell me of your childhood, your parents." "You do not remember?" "And what else?"):

(4x06 Show Me the Monster)

-

Look at that difference!

Every vision MK has includes the same scenes, except this one. That's why I think it's a memory; that and the way it's framed, with MK closing his eyes in focus. The other visions from 4x03, 4x04, and 4x05 all are unprompted, being forced upon MK. Why make this last "vision" so different from the others? Why show our mystery lady making the stone monkey? That would be because it's a memory—be it MK's, something from the scroll, or a mix of both.

There's also the matter of like, why Wukong going to the stone would trigger any sort of vision in MK to begin with. Overall, it just seems like there something more to those visions.

This would be how I imagine the general timeline playing out:

MK is created (through help of Sun Wukong), a beautiful baby boy pops out of the stone, and Sun Wukong "loses" that beautiful boy (if Wukong knew he was born to begin with) with MK finding his way to Pigsy's.

Then it's later Sun Wukong finds MK again, coming up with a plan to make MK his "successor" (still leaving MK with Pigsy, which I think was the right call lol). As Wukong says in 4x01, "You make ONE mistake, and no one ever let's you live it down! Looks like the ghosts of my past have finally caught up with me." That's what I think this parallel in particular is really trying to show off—in some way, MK is part of his past mistakes, just like Macaque is.

AND SO. I WILL CLOSE OFF THIS THEORY POST WITH EVERYTHING WE LEARNED IN THE SPECIAL.

Sun Wukong: "Heh, nothing gets under his skin more than a monkey. Leave Azure to MK and me."

(4x12 The Plan Man)

-

Sun Wukong: "Kinda embarrassing for the Jade Emperor to have two little cheeky monkeys running circles around him the first day on the job." MK: "Well, one monkey and one unconfirmed, but *laughs* yeah! I'd be embarrassed for sure!"

(4x13 Rip and Tear)

-

Wukong sounds suspiciously confident that MK is a monkey.

Not even MK is sure what he is (which he's probably just in denial, but also "Until I know what I am, what my destiny is?" from 4x08 anyone?), but Sun Wukong is extremely certain about what MK is.

Sun Wukong: "We got this bud. Would have liked to give you some new training with your monkey form, but-" MK: "Oh yeah yeah yeah- uh um- about that— um. I- I was thinking, I've never really needed a scary new monkey form before, so, I just thought maybe I'd use it next time." Sun Wukong: "Next time? Kid, there might not be a next time! This is the time."

MK: "It's be fine! Mei and I have got this awesome new armor and everything! You know, when we look this good? Ain't nothing gonna beat us." Sun Wukong: "Kid. New armor isn't going to cut it! We have to hit Azure with everything we've got! You can't just ignore this whole part of your power because it scares you!"

(4x12 The Plan Man)

-

If the writers were trying to highlight the fact that Wukong didn't know, this scene would have gone very differently. Instead of "You can't just ignore this whole part of your power because it scares you!" I think it would have been more along the lines of "I know this is new for all of us, but you've got to accept this part of your power!".

Even this exchange at the end of the special raises some alarm bells for me:

Pigsy: "Heh, don't bother. I've been telling him that for years but he LITERALLY never listens." Sun Wukong: "Yep! That's how we roll."

(4x14 Better Than We Found It)

-

That's how "we" roll? As in him and MK, as two monkeys? Again, Wukong is surprisingly chill and okay with this new form for someone whose first interaction with it was supposedly this:

MK, writhing on the ground in pain, completely destroying the world around him, and unable to control his powers.

Sun Wukong: "Yeah! Go MK, go! Just try not to totally wreck up my stuff would ya-"

(4x13 Rip and Tear)

-

Overall, it gives me the impression that Wukong already knew what MK was before 4x07. This new form didn't scare him because he always knew that's what MK was. MK, to Wukong, is MK! And MK has always been a Monkey Demon. He has unshakeable faith in his protege, and even while MK is absolutely tearing up the world around flower fruit mountain he can't help but cheer for him.

After all, Wukong knows MK is the only one who could defeat Azure:

MK: "Ne Zha's right—while Azure has the Jade Emperor's power and the scroll, there's NO way we could beat him head on!" Sun Wukong: "I mean, some of us could beat him! *ahem* One of us, specifically-" MK: "Nope! None of us at all."

(4x12 The Plan Man)

-

"But Imp!" I hear you say, "Wukong was talking about himself here!". To which I would reply, that's not true! This scene is right after Wukong has already said he only almost beat the Jade Emperor:

Sun Wukong: "But don't worry—I almost beat the Jade Emperor single handed once! Between both of us, Azure doesn't stand a chance." (4x12 The Plan Man)

-

Between this and Wukong's pre-fight convo with MK ("We have to hit Azure with everything we've got!"), he's clearly banking on MK using the full extent of his powers to win this fight. Wukong isn't banking on his own—if he were, he would never have left MK to go and collect the scroll pieces during their fight with Azure.

Conclusion

Sun Wukong knew MK was a monkey the whole time, lol—and fate has plans for MK. Great plans, or foul? Time will tell.

And Wukong has done his best to ensure that those plans are great.

[microrockets]

i am being sooooo normal about them i swear

[spiderfunkz]

✦ RING, RING, RING!

"i think i can really fall in love with him."

word count : 0,9k

warnings : fluff, fem!reader, gwen is mentioned to be readers best friend, harry is mentioned as well, cutesy first dates, peter being just so madly in love & so are you. not proofread!

a/n : inspired by that one scene from 'before sunrise' where celine and jesse pretend to call their friends and tell them about each other :)) also i know i'm late to valentines but it's still february sooooo

if you told yourself a few days ago that you'd be spending valentines day with peter parker, you would laugh at the thought of it.

but right now you couldn't laugh at anything but peter's stupidly unfunny jokes and his cheesy, dry, pickup lines.

you couldn't imagine what valentines would be like with peter parker, but you don't have to. you're experiencing it right now.

he had asked you in a way you've only seen in rom-coms from the 90s. he knocked on your door with a ridiculously large bouquet of flowers, a heart shaped box full of chocolate, and a nervous nerdy smile.

and you accepted it obviously. peter's nice. really nice. out of all the boys in your class, he's a gentleman compared to them.

he's got those big brown doe eyes that make you blush if you make eye contact. that weirdly fluffy hair, that makes you wonder what his hair care routine is like sometimes. the sweetest smile you could ever imagine. and a heart bigger than a size of a lake.

and my gosh, you love him.

he made a reservation at this restaurant. one that you've passed by many times but never seem to stop by. you've always thought it was too fancy for a normal hangout with friends or family, it was always crowded with couples too. it always had a jazz band playing, roses on each table, and you could smell the scent of love from outside.

it was everything you've ever dreamed of. you didn't want it to end but unfortunately, the day got darker and the sun began to set.

"i really enjoyed today, peter." you smile.

"yeah of course. i really enjoyed today too." he replied, there was still a splotch of spaghetti sauce near his mouth.

"unfortunate that the hours went by so quickly, i think i have to go home soon." you pout, peter was still smiling, that spaghetti splotch is not going anywhere.

"or maybe we could still talk, for a bit." he paused for a second before making a hand gesture resembling a phone.

"ring, ring, ring!" he mimicked. you furrow your brows.

"pick it up." he stays smiley.

"okay, beep." you laugh, following his gestures.

peter mouths a 'thank you' before continuing, "oh yeah uh, harry? harry are you there?" he asks.

you knew harry, he's peter's closest friend. they're like two peas in a pod and you could never separate them, not even when harry moved away for years.

you join in his little joke. "uh yeah dude, this is harry. dude." you try to mimic his voice.

"yeah, hey harry! do you remember that girl i was gonna ask out for valentines? the really pretty girl from bio class?" his face became pink.

"oh yeah! the really pretty girl. i know her."

"yeah so, she's with me right now and i am just so happy."

"really? how happy?"

"extremely. she's so fun to talk to. she's so incredibly wonderful and i cannot put it into words how beautiful she is. really harry, you were right. she's an angel."

you smile. "really what else? how did the date go?" your voice rasps, clearly you couldn't really perfect the accent harry has. but peter seemed to like it.

"amazing. the food was great, this restaurant is good, i uh- got the reservation in time so everything has been going perfectly.

she's such a ray of sunshine. i can't stop stealing a glance every time, harry. i dunno what's about it, she's just so- perfect."

peter continues. he's doing it on purpose. well, not really, he was going to call harry and say all of those things. but he thinks it's better to tell you face to face. besides, he loves seeing you smile.

you try your best to blurt out a reply without stuttering. "that's um, that's amazing, dude. i bet she feels the same way about you." you could feel the butterflies in your stomach.

"you really think so?" peter tilts his head.

"i'm sure."

"well, thanks harry. i'll see you later, bye bye." he hangs up, mimicking a beep on the table.

you laugh.

"okay now it's your turn."

"my turn? oh, okay." you gesture your hand.

"dring, dring, dring!" you say, "ugh she's probably studying right now." you explain.

peter picks up, in a voice that will haunt you for years. "hey, girl! what is up!" peter laughs.

it took every cell in your body to not burst out laughing in front of everyone in that restaurant. "hi, gwen. is uh- is your voice okay?" you ask.

"better than ever!" — "oh, okay." you hold your laughter. "um, you know peter? peter parker from biology. the one with fluffy hair and pretty eyes?"

peter smiles, he blushes from his nose.

"yeah so, i'm on a date with him right now. and it feels like a dream. he's prettier up close. he styled his hair, yeah, it's pretty. and he's got spaghetti sauce smeared near his lips." you smile.

peter immediately fixes the splotch, finally.

"he's kind of tall. and he's kinda nerdy too. just my type." you cover your smile, "i like to feel his eyes on me when i look away." you continued.

peter smiles, "what a nice guy."

"he really is. as the date goes on i start to like him even more. i feel like i can really open up to him."

"really?"

"mhm. he got me flowers and some chocolate too. he's funny too, he's got a voice i can listen to for hours. he's like a shot of espresso, you know?"

peter couldn't hide his blush anymore. "a shot of espresso?"

"he makes me feel energized in a way, and he also makes my heart beat really fast." you laugh, "i think i can really fall in love with him."

[abiiors]

one for the road // george daniel x reader

a/n: the idea belongs to my sweet friend ace @ughgoaway and i'm just bringing it to life but JFC GEORGE'S HANDS HAVE BEEN THE ONLY THING ON MY MIND SINCE BOILER ROOM (side note but it took me sooooo long to think of a title until one for the road by am came up on shuffle) cw: semi-public, fingering, edging, slightly dom/sub?? like it's kinda hinted but that's it, the writer’s hand kink is very obvious in this one wc: 2.6k

l.a. traffic is the bane of your existence. everything crawls at a glacial pace, there are a million and one red lights and every once in a while someone tries to honk or zoom past as if that would magically clear the road for them. you try to play some music and even that keeps getting interrupted by the two calls george has gotten so far. 

you’re frustrated beyond belief and so is he, judging by his tight grip on the steering wheel and his clenched jaw. 

“george!” you whine. it’s childish and immature, and yet you can’t help it. it’s not even ten a.m. and everything is already hellish. 

“i know, baby,” he speaks in a low voice, navigating yet more traffic. by some miracle, the car in front of you speeds, opening up space for you to cross the green light. george perks up, about to floor it when someone cuts in from behind, and gets stuck right in front of you. just in time for the light to turn red.

george slaps the steering wheel, letting out a few choice curse words, you groan into your hands, about to curse some more when his hand lands on your thigh. 

it’s innocent enough—something he’s done countless times. it’s almost a permanent resting spot for his hands when you’re driving anyway, but the rough pads of his fingers scratch against your thigh. his rings glint in the sunlight, and you stare at his hands, completely forgetting about the frustration from just a minute ago. 

the red light lasts far longer than it should, longer than it has any right to. but in the end you move again, and george’s hand goes back to the steering wheel. instantly, you miss the warmth of it, the friction of his fingers against the smooth skin of your thigh. you fidget with the hem of your short, short skirt, wishing your fingers felt the same. they don’t, not even close. 

“fuckin’ hell,” george curses quietly, voice gravelly. his fingers drum on the leather, and a deep groan echoes around the car, making your mind go to all the places it really shouldn’t. 

you sneak another look at him, at the way he dwarfs the car seat. his long legs are almost stretched out in front of him, spread wide. your mind wanders to all the times you've sat between them, pleasing him for hours, being a good girl and keeping him warm. 

“you’ve gone quiet,” he speaks suddenly and places his hand back on your thigh. it almost makes you jump but you see right in front of you, at another red light and then at his hand on your thigh, at the veins littering it. 

“‘m fine!” you squeak, voice weirdly high-pitched. 

“you’re annoyed, aren’t you,” he tuts. “‘m so sorry, baby.” he does sound genuinely sorry, stroking your thigh with a gesture that he thinks is comforting.

for you, however, it only makes everything worse. 

george draws small circle on your skin, round and round and absentminded as he waits for the car in front of you to start moving. he doesn’t know how strongly you’re trying not to rub your thighs together. he doesn’t know the kind of buzz filling your head, each time his hand inches higher or inward. 

“n-no,” you choke out, trying to sound as normal as possible. you’re completely fine! you’re not about to soak through your underwear and onto the rich leather seats. “traffic’s normal.”

the last bit catches his attention but before he can say anything, the light turns green and george removes his hand once again. you scrunch your eyes shut, embarrassed at breathy your voice sounded just now. how girlish and needy. 

but the sunlight makes his rings glint again and your mouth goes dry. 

oh to feel them against your cunt… your ass… 

oh to feel the cold metal on your lips while he shuts you up by shoving his fingers in your mouth. 

“baby? you alright?” he tries to sneak a quick glance at you while also keeping an eye on the road. “shit, you’re not carsick, are you?”

sick. yes. that would be one word to describe you—sick in the head for wanting him to use his fingers right now, so publicly in the middle of a busy l.a. highway. right here where anyone can peep in. 

he sneaks another glance at you, a bit longer this time with his brows furrowed and lips pressed in a straight line, and places his hand on your leg again. deliberate. 

“bab—”

“george!” a whine slips out of you, and you can’t help but cross your legs this time, effectively trapping his hand between them. his fingers are so fucking close to your cunt, so…

“oh,” he breathes out and you feel his fingers move. it’s a swipe against the inside of your thigh, so fucking high up that he might as well be touching you now. no, scratch that. he is touching you now as his finger softly brushes over your clothed cunt. you hiss through your teeth, already sensitive. 

“what have you been thinking about, hmm?” your eyes linger on his hand still, half of it disappearing under your skirt. his fingers move deftly, still swiping against your pussy, on the insides of your thigh. “you’re drenched…”

the breath whooshes out of your lungs once the red light hits and george slides the underwear aside. 

“yeah?”

“please…” you all but beg, spreading your legs just a bit wider so his hand can fit better. slowly, leisurely, his fingers move through your folds, parting them and making you moan softly each time he brushes against your clit. 

the red light even allows him to look at you, but you’re far too gone to care what he sees—your eyes half shut, mouth parted and slack, parting further when his thumb presses against your lit. the cold metal of the ring brushes against warm skin, sending a shiver down your back, and you but thrust up. 

“can you–can you go faster?”

“my dirty girl,” he tsks, “you think i’m gonna get you off here? where anyone can see you?”

right. the people. not that you can be blamed for it, the outside world is the last thing on your mind. 

“we aren’t in a rush, are we?” his voice takes a low, mocking quality. it’s so unfair that he should know you this well. that he should know how desperate you are for a release. he isn’t in a rush only because you are. a minute more of this teasing, and you might just lose your mind. 

“i’ll be—”

a horn cuts you off and his eyes snap to the road, where the light, much to your frustration, has turned green once again. within moments george pulls his hand away, fingers just about coated with slick and places it back on the steering wheel. 

“no, no—”

“patience, baby…” he uses the voice he always does when he wants you to obey. it’s the voice that rings around in your head. “i’ll get back to you if you sit patiently.”

and just like that his attention is back to the road again. you huff, aching all over and trying not to replace his hand with yours. it won’t end well for you, if you did that. your thighs feel sticky and the leather of the seat rubs against your skin all wrong. everything is all wrong. craning your neck a little you try to see where the next red light is—suddenly that’s all you crave. suddenly your pulse spikes when you see a light turn green. 

but the traffic takes care of the rest, and george’s fingers are back at your cunt the moment the car comes to a standstill. 

“you’ll be good for me, won’t you?” he asks sweetly, pressing his thumb against your clit just hard enough that you lurch off your seat, squeezing your legs shut again. this is where his hand belongs, this is where it should stay.

“i’ll be good, i’ll be so… so g-good.” the words get harder the more he touches and teases, drawing a lazy eight around your clit and dipping his fingers in and out, never deep enough though. he always pulls them out just before, keeps you right on your toes. in turn, your fingers curl, long nails digging into the leather until it leaves half-moon shaped marks behind. 

if this keeps going, you might just tear through them…

“just a bit m-more… please, george,” you try begging again, not that it worked for you the first time but george relents just a little and pushes his fingers deeper. desperately you clench around him, whimpering and whining and pushing your hips up to take more of him. a second later, he wrenches his hand away, leaving you cold and empty.

tears of frustration brim on your lash line. you were so close, so close to feeling good, feeling floaty. the seat is soaked with your arousal now, and your fingers dig into the seat tight enough to leave your knuckles while. your heart hammers in your throat, head dizzy and swimming with thoughts of only his hands—his hands around your throat, choking the breath out of you. his hands on your ass, squeezing and kneading the skin, hands gripping your hips, your thighs tightly. leaving bruises. 

“shh, baby… you’re doing so well,” his gravelly voice interrupts the train of thoughts and you realise you’ve been squirming and moaning, trying to find at least a little friction from the seat but it’s utterly useless. “you’ll wait till the next red light, won’t you? my good girl.”

“your good girl,” you nod fervently, eager to prove how much you deserve his fingers, how much you deserve an orgasm. george looks at you quickly, smiling in a way that makes his face look sharp and smug and goes back to driving. if it weren’t for the bulge in his jeans, you would have been convinced that this doesn’t affect him at all. 

you almost close your eyes, swallowing harshly to get rid of the tears clogging your throat. you almost even manage to calm yourself down just a smidge, when the car stops again. this time, you barely get a moment’s notice before fingers thrust inside you, deep. all the way in, hitting the sweet spot. your back arches all the way off the seat and you cry out his name. you gulp in large breaths, trying not to pass out at the sudden onslaught of pleasure. 

it’s like he’s turned the dial up from zero to one hundred, pumping his fingers in and out of you, thumb pressed against your clit. his body is twisted to look at you, lips hovering so close to the shell of your ear. once or twice he even nips the soft skin, earning himself yet another cry. 

“yes, yes, that’s it… that’s…”

“yeah? that’s it? am i doing good, baby?”

he is, he knows he is. you feel like you’re on cloud nine, completely forgetting about the other cars outside along with the heat and traffic and every other thing that frustrated you not even an hour ago. the only frustration you know is the frustration of not getting to cum. 

“words, sweet girl,” he taunts, “am i doing good?”

“so good… so good…”

george tsks. “but what if i’m not done with you yet, hmm?”

you can almost hear the pout in his voice, the undercurrent of smugness, and this time you see it coming before he pulls away. 

“no no no nooo, george!” it’s the most frustrated you’ve ever been, shaking and crying, edged over and over again, and at his mercy. every time he pulls away it’s like your body’s doused with ice cold water, each time more tears fall down your cheeks. your mascara must be a mess by now, lipstick smudged by how much you’ve bit your lips.

“you’re mean,” you pout at him and george laughs. he actually laughs!

“do you want me to stop th—”

“no!” you cry out, scared that he’d really stop. scared that you’d have to sit here in a limbo, aching so desperately between your legs and not being able to do anything about it. but at the next red light, george takes mercy on you. 

his fingers hover right over your clit, flicking it swiftly before they’re inside you again. the metal of his rings stings against your skin, digging into the sensitive skin. if anything, the mix of pain and pleasure is all the more heedy, dizzying. your head falls back, back still arched off the seat until your hips are moving of their own accord, rutting and grinding against his hand, riding his fingers. you try to match his pace. 

it’s too much, too much, too much.

“pretty baby,” he coos, “look so good riding my fingers, look so good when you’re desperate for me like this.”

desperate is exactly what you are. you finally place your hand over his, pushing his thick fingers deepers. to your surprise, george even lets you. the rough calluses provide just the right amount of friction. his name is the only thing you can chant over and over again, moaning to the rhythm of his fingers. 

“please, please, wanna cum. please george…”

you know the light's about to turn green, you don’t have much time. you know if he denies you again, you might just lose whatever hold you have on your sanity. george places a kiss on your jaw, lips warm against your skin, his stubble almost scratchy. then his mouth hovers right above your ear. 

“since you asked so sweetly…” 

your entire body tenses at his words, pussy clenching around his fingers so hard until your can practically feel the rings inside you. pleasure swims through your whole body and your vision turns white. the next thing you feel is something wet and sticky sliding under your ass, coating his hands and george continues to finger you. 

your legs shake and tremble with the force of the orgasm, stars flare in front of your closed eyelids and you grip onto his hand, keeping it buried deep between your legs, riding it until the dizzying waves of pleasure subside. grinding on it until you can finally slow down and open your eyes again. 

two seconds later, the light turns green again and he has no choice but to pull away. his fingers leave a trail of your release on the steering wheel. 

“can i clean you up?” you ask sweetly, batting your eyelashes at him even though he’s trying to focus on the road. doesn’t matter though, his hands look just as delicious as before and you can’t help but stick his fingers in your mouth, suck on them, swirling your tongue around the digits until all you can taste is your release. the salty taste of it sits on your tongue and you pushing his fingers in deeping, almost gagging around them, till your lips touch the cold rings.

“fuck,” george curses under his breath when you let go of them and swerves the car, taking the exit he’s just seen. 

“what are you doing?”

“going to find a hotel for us, sweet girl.” he mumbles, shifting in the seat, trying to adjust his very obvious bulge. “haven’t gotten enough of you just yet.”

taglist: @scooby-doodoo, @partoftheairforce, @justgoatsbreakinghearts0855@beachesgetpeaches, @you-muppet, @mcabister, @alexmarie29, @at-her-very-foreign, @hfkait, @squishysoupy @sierraeslaprincesa @harrie-fic-center @alien-girl-violet @thereisaplaceintheheart @kennedy-brooke @lolidontknowanymore @theoriginalwhatsername@celestcies @sugarkane1001 @ari-turner @thewaywewereinsaigon @daphnesutton @beliefandsayingsomething @ros3chu @nothingrevealedeverythingdenied @zzzhealy @mattymybeloved @fck-off @indiaamars @sofaritsalrightt @k4tie75 @wondersecret @humptyhoran @indierockgirrl @hanbiior @moreyoulove-moreyouknow @rossgirly @if-my-heart-bleeds @little-lovely-darling @abriefnirvana @renitypoem @sinarainbows @lady-may-targaryen @love4agesss @angrylittlebaldman @oneluckygirl @sinarainbows @starvchaser @noacfapologyst @abouttofillhisshoes

add yourself to the taglist

[mossfeathers]

chewing on the drywall i am INSANE over bigb and cleo theyre physically incapable of being normal about eachother. cleos trying her best to forgive him (shes very very bad at forgiveness) and bigbs both stuck in the moment and regret and simultaneously moved on and trying to make fun and jest out of it (not working out for him at all whatsoever). cleo gifting bigb a heart but it not working and both of them being *so sure* the other is lying and its just another betrayal and the narrative doesn't want them to be happy. they never left that river. and honestly i don't think cleo wants to. she likes the anger and resentment towards bigb its an incredible motivator for her. fueled by spite. meanwhile bigb is being so confusing. some days hes desperate to become friends again and finally move on and others he just wants to keep on poking cleo until she hates him again. i love them sooooo much

[beatrixstonehill2]

"Is the dress too much? I figure I might as well look good if I'm getting my boobs chopped off! Oh, did I not tell you guys? My bad, I've just been so excited! I think? I was going out the other day, walking along the boardwalk in my little blue bikini, picking up guys, normal Saturday. A guy approached me with a small film crew and started asking questions, telling me he runs a popular internet show involving beautiful young talent like me. He complimented my breasts and told me girls with 'oversized melons' like mine were exactly what he was looking for. He asked me if I liked being so big breasted, I said yes. He asked if I fantasize about my boobs getting destroyed or chopped off from time to time, I said yes, duh, what busty girl doesn't have that kink? He asked me if I've ever considered living out those fantasies, I said no, not really. He asked if I ever fantasized about having my clit removed, I blushed and said 'now I will, that's super hot!' He seemed very pleased by my answers, asking me if I thought girls like me ought to get their boobs destroyed for male pleasure. I asked him to clarify and he said if girls like me date guys who want us to get our boobs removed or reduced to nothing because it would turn them on, should we? I emphatically said yes!

He then revealed that he was gathering talent for his next online pageant. He told me it was technically adult content because his fans jerked off to it, but it was presented under the guise of a medical charity. That I and nine other girls like me would be paraded out into a packed auditorium of his fans. A staff of surgical students from a nearby university would be there, and he'd present the main event as a charitable pageant, of sorts. We'd walk out in formal wear, like any beauty pageant. Then we'd wear bikinis. After that we'd strip naked on stage and be lined up, sitting at a chair, with a sturdy tray in front of us. The surgical students would then numb our breasts, and we'd be forced to answer intimate questions about ourselves and our love-lives, all under the pretense of how being so big breasted has negatively impacted our lives and forced us to be oversexualized and overly sexual.

As we're interviewed, the surgeons in training would then remove our breasts, putting on a bit of a show.... playing with their food, basically. Cutting our boobs open vertically and showing the audience all the fat inside, any cysts or tumors (of which I maaay have quite a few, no surprises there!), for educational purposes, emphasizing how unhealthy they are..... piece by piece our boobs will be dismantled and tossed on a scale next to us. The weight of our breasts, how much was removed, apparently contribute a lot to who wins the pageant, so I should definitely stand a good chance of winning with these massive melons! After they're weighed our breasts are tossed in the trash, 'where they belong' the guy interviewing me made it a point to say. By this time in the interview I was straight up fondling my pussy and one tit in public, all caught on camera, available to view on his channel..... I watched the other girls get interviewed and they're so gorgeous, all equally excited to get their huge breasts chopped to mincemeat for this pageant.

It's only a couple hours away now, and I am a bit nervous. I obviously love having breasts this massive but the thought of doing this makes me sooooo wet! And seeing all these men comment on my video about how much they can't wait to jerk off watching my boobs get dismantled, I simply can't let them down! Wish me luck! I can't wait to stand on that stage with a bandage wrapped around my former tits, smiling and showing off my sexy new flat chest, along with the other girls. All for a good cause of course! How else do you make money to support breast cancer? Gotta show millions and millions of hungry eyes how dangerous and unhealthy my big fat perfect titties really are on the inside.... Ya'll are gonna flip when you see how many tumors and cysts these gorgeous fuckable titties have. I can't wait to show them off for you at long last! ❤️"

[starlettechild]

⊱𝓛𝓾𝓶𝓲𝓷𝓸𝓾𝓼 𝓟𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓵𝓼⊰

* ೃ༄

CONTENT: SMUT! MDNI & 18+ CONTENT BELOW THE CUT! After the defeat of the elder brain, Tav begins to need some extra protection. There is one oathbreaker more than happy to take the position. ( noble x knight dynamics )

⚠️TWs:⚠️ : Implied feminine reader, but they/them pronouns are still used. AFAB anatomy, sexual/explicit content. Zevlor is kind of in heat. ACT 3 SPOILERS!!

NOTES: im sooooo normal about zevlor im soooososososos normal

its good to be back everyone! hopefully ill be able to post more of my writing! feels so nice to be doing this again

Throughout the entirety of Zevlor’s life, he has known battle. The taste of iron and ash in his mouth as he pushes and pushes forward. A relentless march forward towards death. It was the life of a Hellrider. But Tav - to him, they were a light in his darkness. A gentle hand that cleaned the blood of his face and armor. He thought his life was destined to be full of fighting - blood always following his every steps. But never had he imagined someone would fight for him, fight with him, and win. The defeat of the Elder Brain brought a shuddering peace to the city. The destruction in its wake was evident, some damage unrepairable. Yet each rise and fall of the sun over Baldur’s Gate, Zevlor could see the city come back to life. His people began to repair themselves and set out for more.

Yet he couldn’t. Leaving Tav, this person who was his own personal religion, the fuel of an imaginary oath. Their favor was like a divine blessing that coursed through his infernal veins, carried him through battle with ferocity. Fueled by the desire to see them again. So when the offer came up to serve as their own personal knight in the new (deserving) luxurious life they lived, he could not refuse. Tav had companions scattered across the planes, but they wanted to fix the city. An intimidating force in the court that was slowly being reformed and revived, a respected hero in every street, and a survivor of the impossible. Who wouldn’t want someone like that to help lead this city to a new era? But of course, this called for extra hands and extra bodies to help assist their cause, and who was better than the old Hellrider who lived and breathed to protect those he loved?

The miracles of them are racing through his head as he stands in-front of the large oak door to their room. The armor he wears- commissioned and crafted by Dammon just for him by Tav - shifts with each of his nervous movements. It’s been quite some time, and he still hasn’t adjusted to being in such a persons presence. A sharp inhale through his nose, and he knocks against the door. Wincing at the loudness of the sound his gauntlet makes against it, an unheard apology falling from his lips. He stands there and awaits permission to answer, his anxiety increasing as each second ticks by and there is no response.

“Tav? I hope you don’t mind, but I’m coming in.” The door opens slowly, and his eyes rake over the place for signs of distress. His heart beats rapidly in his chest.. but suddenly, it slows, when the scent of lavender and cashmere hit his senses, the door to their washroom slightly creaked open. A sigh of relief escapes him, quickly replaced by panic when he realizes he has no place in this room as they wash. He’s about to make a quick escape, before he hears their voice. It dances along his spine. He can wear the most finely crafted armor, but that voice will still put him to his knees.

“Zevlor?”

Their voice calls to him, bouncing off the walls of the washroom. “I am.. so sorry, Tav. I thought something had - had happened. I’ll leave right away, and I’ll even understand if you no longer want me to serve-” He’s about to keep rambling on to them, but their laughter cuts him off, and Gods does it make him want to go to war just to hear it again and again and again.

“Actually, could you help me with something in here?” He feels like he can’t breathe. Maybe this armor is suffocating him..? He’s getting too old to walk around in such things. Or is the thought of being so close to Tav in a washroom that’s suffocating him? But his feet are betraying him, moving forward before the “Of course.” is muttered. His hand shakes as he slowly opens the door, shutting his eyes out of decency. Though it takes every ounce of his will power to do so.

Tav sits in the bath, their bare back glistens with water, steam swirling around their form. Zevlor, ever the romantic, thinks they look like a Siren poking their upper body from the waves. And he is the enchanted sailor. They turn their head to the side to glance at them, and Zevlor wants to sculpt their side profile like they are his muse. Perhaps they are. Perhaps they will be.

“I can’t but this balm on my back myself, could you lend a hand, Commander?” Zevlors heart skips a beat behind his armor at the old title. He worries if he shakes anymore out of desire, his armor will rattle and disturb the Master of this house he now serves like a sworn in knight. He can only give a nod to them, removing the heavy gauntlets. He gives a frown to his hands, his claws. He feels like a cursed creature reaching out for the Divine. But can one even as vigilant as himself resist, when they beckon to him so sweetly? Call to him when he has dreamt of it night after night?

He covers his fingers in the flick balm, rubbing it on their back. It’s going to be the death of him. Touching them like this. He feels he may pass away, when they arch their back into his touch. Letting out a pleased sigh. He wishes he was some sort of wizard, so he could some how save the noise. Listen to it again, and again, and again. His racing thoughts are cut through when he hears them speak to him.

“Zevlor, can I be very honest with you?” He can see their expression. Weariness. Expecting something.. something sad. “Always.” He manages through gritted teeth, biting back the words “let me go first. I want you in a way I haven’t wanted anyone before.”

“There was another reason I wanted you to work with me. I’ve always.. admired you. In a way more than appropriate between noble and knight. Adventurer and Commander.” They glance down into the water, fingers wafting through the milky bath water.

Zevlor has died. He thinks he has. This must be The Heavens. Something good he doesn’t deserve. But they said they were honest, and the pain in his chest from how fast his infernal heart beats is grounding. There’s no pain in heaven. He must be alive. This must be real. There is no way he can communicate this to them in words, so gently he takes his hand, settling behind them, tilting their face up to his. Staring into their eyes, asking if this is okay. Saying that if he is to kiss them here and now, he may never be able to stop. And their own eyes respond in kind, saying to him, “never stop.”

Then he kisses them, and Gods, does it drive him wild. As if their lips were coated in a strong aphrodisiac. Sweet and soft. His eyes flutter shut, hands finding their bare waist. They kiss him back, and he feels special, knowing that they want this just as much as he does. But still, he pulls away, asking them, “Are you sure?”

“I have never been more sure of anything.”

And then he is kissing them again. His own chest vibrates with something similar to a primal growl, weaving his hands and their still wet hair and pulling the impossibly closer, memorizing the shape and taste of their lips. Perhaps it is the forbidden topic of a certain tiefling cycle, but Zevlor can feel his composure slipping, his neediness below his waistband growing impossibly harder. It may be so just by kissing them after such a long time serving them as their knight, lusting for them during long nights, is enough to send him into an early rut. They can feel it too - breaking the kiss, their leg gently positioned in between his legs and pressing against him, his head falls back against. The old paladin is already puddy in their hands, heavy breaths and low moans spilling from his lips with every movement they make. Their knee brushing over his member over and over through his pants is enough for him to lean in, nuzzling the crevice of their neck and try to manage words between heavy inhales and choked moans.

“I won’t last. Please.” He confesses. He’s finished to the thought alone with his own hand. The real thing is almost too much for him. An overwhelming pleasure being served to him in the steamy washroom of their mansion. He crumbles in the hands of the one is sword and new oath belongs to. And this, he thinks, is what it must feel like to have a true Gods favor.

Yet Tav seems to be a merciless God this evening, replacing their leg with their hand. He jerks upright, his tail swishing back and forth. The rut brewing in him snaps like a string, and with arms strong enough, he lifts them onto his lap instead. A light aired gasp leaves their lips, and he wants to drink the sound. His hips grind up into their own member, and their back arches, letting out music of their own.

It makes Zevlor feral.

“I need you. Now. Please.” He swallows heavily, closing his eyes as if praying. His jaw tightening with the pounding feeling of lust, banging on the walls of his mind and lighting his body on fire. All for them. It is all for them. Their naked body is a sight to behold when be opens his eyes, truly taking in the art before him. Slick skin, glossy and fragrant with the smell of a floral bath mixture. Divine. Truly, divine. His mouth moves up to their neck, kisses trailing down, drinking their skin. His teeth graze along their sensitive flesh, aching to bite and mark upon his lord/lady/sovereign. His cock twitching every-time he feels them tremble against him, their slick thighs right where he wants them.

May his sovereign never lift a finger - his own hand moving to undo the waistband of his pants, sliding them off and away. Their eyes take him in, sitting on the edge of the pool-like baths marble. His eyes take them in back, questioning if they are ready for him. It’s almost pitiful, they think. His erection looks almost painful, throbbing and stiff against his ridged chest. But Tav has practiced with their fingers to thoughts of riding their knight, so they take a steady inhale, and sink down onto his cock.

Zevlor bows his head, hands shooting to their waist, letting out a shaky sound of bliss. They feel his pants against their collarbone, before they feel something a little more intense. Teeth sinking onto their skin, biting. Claiming. His desperation drives them wild, and he can tell, taking a hiss of air in when they clench around him.

The commander, in his most feral state, still values them having the ropes and steering the wheel. He stays still, even though he wants to thrust up into them like an animal - he resists the urge. Letting them set the pace. After all, he is their knight.

Slowly, with moans of their own, does their body work up and down his shaft, hips rising and falling. And fuck is Zevlor done for. Their heaven is nothing he could imagine. The intensity they make him feel could almost send him to tears. His hands tighten on their waist. A reminder of what he once was. That the man they now ride was a Commander.

Tav flutters against him, letting out the sweetest sounds. Like a siren, he is mesmerized. So he jerks his hips up to match their movements, and their hands claw down his back, his name leaving their lips. He loves it. So he does it again, and again, and again, tell the pleasure he brings them is enough for them both to already by near their climax.

“Hells. I’m close.. Gods.” He rasps out, feeling the heat inside him become too much. “Finish with me, Zevlor.” Such a demand drives him to the edge, his movements becoming more erratic. Hitting that spot inside them that’s enough to make them scream. His orgasm washes over him like an electric shock, praising their name as he finishes like a chant. He feels theirs cover his shaft too, and he makes a note for later to make them come undone on his tongue to make up for the wasted nectar.

Their thighs tremble against his, not departing from the intimacy, but instead resting their chest against his still panting chest. Listening to the beat of his heart and the way he tries to catch his breath. Hearing the slightest glimmer of an oath in his body, a surge of power.

To serve and be with them until the world ends, and he is too broken and bloody to stand.

[grvyrd-drms]

https://www.tumblr.com/grvyrd-drms/728382423313924096/hey-followers-do-i-write-some-lame-toby

YESS PLS. I NEED LOSER TOBY CONTENT ☹️

toby rogers being a loser (himself)

------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: my boy !!!

CW: nothing much tbh??? murder??? a little angst.

------------------------------------------------------------

-gets nervous around women. like yeah on the outside he's all numb and secretive and scary or whatever but lock him in a small room with like nina or kate or something and he's just,,,

-toby wants to be in a relationship sooooo bad but refuses to let himself admit it. tries to focus on his work or go out on a walk when he starts getting all sad and mopey.

-i feel like he's really tall and lanky and has huge feet. constantly walking into stuff and stepping on things. doesn't help when his motor tics swing his arms around either.

-stepped on one of sally's crayons and broke it once. bad things ensued.

-he just looks so DORKY doing ANYTHING. like yeah he's a fucked up deranged serial killer. but also look at him brush his teeth or tie his shoes. dork.

-speaking of tying shoes, toby constantly has to redo his laces. he can't tie shoes correctly. he resorts to just tucking them inside of the shoe most of the time at this point.

-listens to midwest emo..,,,,,, 😧😧😧

-midwest emo or any 'loser music' in general tbh. car seat headrest, modern baseball, the front bottoms, lincoln, american football, pet symmetry, microwave, michael cera palin, merchant ships, tigers jaw, list goes on.

-trips going up staircases too fast

-can't make popcorn cause the kernels popping gives him anxiety. not in a sad traumatic way more like a time traveling cave man way.

-is friendlier to animals than he is to humans.

-will immediately go from heavy breathing, covered in blood hacking someone up to going "psst psst" to the nearest raccoon.

-thinks about lyra a lot. sees her in the sun, the wildflowers. hears her in running streams and girls laughing. toby misses his sister.

-has a lopsided smile!!!!

-has a chipped front tooth from getting the shit beat out of him a while ago. it's not really noticeable but he's self conscious about it.

-when toby yells his voice cracks. i think about this every time i see @crushedsweets drawing of toby and tim arguing and toby yells "get the fuck off me". that. one. piece. specifically.

-gets crushes way too easily. 100% has thought that he's had a shot with every girl his age in the manor. also gets easily obsessed with girls he sees/meets on his missions.

-nothing ever works out though (unless you count the shit show that was his relationship w/ natalie) (im a natalie lover i just feel like it went bad lol)

-and the funniest thing is toby thinks that its top secret that he has no game. everyone knows he's a loser. they all just feel too bad to say it (except jeff).

------------------------------------------------------------

hrbtngmrjhwahdnrn i am So Normal About Him (lie)

[mercurytrinemoon]

A lil guide to why you're not identifying with your natal chart

I've been thinking of writing this post for a few years now because this is one of the most common issues that people have when studying their charts and I feel like there's a lot of misconception around the topic sooooo I hope I can give you guys some ideas.

BIAS

As simple as that, people often have issues with taking a step back and really thinking about their life in relation to their charts. This is why astrology consultations (as opposed to reports) are often more advised. For most people, the way they are and the way their lives are is "normal", especially when we talk about things that are correlated with upbringing and culture. But also, your everyday life.

Just to give an example, I was once studying zodiacal releasing of my sister and I told her "seems like your peak period lasted from your childhood up to your late teens". She rolled her eyes and said that if that was her peak period then her life's a failure. But let me tell you how her teens went: she was super popular, everyone had a crush on her, one of her tattoos got an award at an international tattoo convention, she was one of the best dancers in her ballet school, she also has a brief history of being a metal singer and kind of by pure chance performed at Poland's Woodstock (now Pol'and'Rock - if you know, you know). I am probably missing something but my point is: she cannot look objectively at her life, for her that's just a normal teenage experience. But also, sometimes people's current aspirations often don't align with their past aspirations so when they look back, most events seem bland to them. And that is the case for a lot of folks.

Everyone has that friend who's always like: "I'm nothing special blehhh" and you just sit there and think of all their talents and accomplishments and just scratch your head. Or that person who always complains about having no money, yet they can live comfortably and can afford most of the things they want. And this goes for everything: talents, personality traits, home life and so on…

Remember, often times it's hard to really take a look at yourself in the mirror. And even if you do, you still see a flipped version of yourself.

MISINFORMATION, SIMPLIFICATION AND STEREOTYPES

I think this is a big one. And especially if your source of knowledge comes from the internet. When you learn about the signs and their characteristics, it's crucial to understand the nuances - and people pretty much always forget about it.

Every sign can have a certain trait: being driven is not exclusive to Aries, being sensual is not exclusive to Taurus, being talkative is not exclusive to Gemini and so on - it's all about the motives and the background of when and how that trait manifests.

For example, sure, one of the negative traits of Taurus is stubborness - because it's an earth sign and it's fixed. But Taurus is more than that, it's not just a one-ingredient sign. No sign is a one-ingredient sign. MOST people will be stubborn in some way: Aries will be stubborn if you won't let them do what they want, Gemini will be stubborn if you try to undermine their ideas and say they're wrong, Cancer will be stubborn about their grievances or about holding on to things tried and trusted and so on…

REMEMBER (and I want this plastered everywhere): no sign has the monopoly for anything. This goes the other way around: just because a Virgo was rude towards you, doesn't mean all Virgos will be rude towards you. NOT ALL *INSERT SIGN*.

Everything has a spectrum and everything has its place. Most Aries Suns are not full of anger and toughness all the time but maybe they love video games and they don't even realize that they're relieving their negative feelings by shooting everyone in Call of Duty? Or their job requires some martian energy, movement and discipline? Or they're very protective over the opressed ones and they're not afraid to fight for them when needed?

(And so yes, you probably do have that trait you claim you don't have in a certain context).

ASPECTS TO THE PLANETS AND OTHER INFLUENCES

"I don't feel like an Aries Sun", says a person with a Saturn square to their Sun, a Mars in Pisces and a Taurus rising. Well, first of all, I can guarantee you that you do act like an Aries in some ways but second of all - if your fiery and bold passionate lil heart is dimmed and harassed by Saturn, your Sun's dispositor is in a dreamy and passive Pisces and your Sun is in the 12th house AND on top of that, that slow Taurus rising is really clashing with cardinal Aries, then yes, this can make sense.

What can block or drastically alter a planet's infuence? Squares and oppositions, a contrasting stellium in another sign or house, sometimes being unaspected or occupying a house that is in aversion to other important points in the chart (so it's inconjunct), especially to the 1st house - you won't "see" your planets if they're in the 2nd, 6th, 8th or 12th house. Alternatively and interestingly, a planet (or more) occupying the 1st house may infuence and distort your view of things where you may not feel or seem to others like a "typical" exponent of your sign. Good example was when people weren't believing Halsey that she's a Scorpio rising - and with a stellium in her 1st house I don't blame them - her persona is influenced by Mercury, Venus and Jupiter, which is a pretty eclectic mixture.

HOUSE PLACEMENTS AND WHAT PLANETS "BELONG" TO

Not every planet talks about you because not every house talks about you. I've done two huge articles on house meanings and you can check them out here: PART 1 & PART 2, but to quickly sum them up:

1st: you 2nd: your posessions 3rd: your siblings/cousins, early education and neighbourhood 4th: your family and parents 5th: your children, sex life and fun activities 6th: your employees, pets and health 7th: your partnerships and open enemies 8th: your shared resources and inheritance 9th: your higher education, beliefs, travel 10th: your career and reputation 11th: your friends and networking 12th: your subconscious, loss, succlusion, sickness

So, as you can see, if you, for example, look at the planets in your 3rd house then they are largely talking about your family members or even neighbours. Have loud Aries Mars in the 3rd house but you're rather introverted and like to be left alone? Well, are your neighbours annoying? Is your neighbourhood a rather loud or even unsafe place? Do you feel a dislike towards your siblings cause they're always obnoxious when you're trying to relax and immerse yourself in your favorite book? Are your siblings sporty? Well, that's your Mars in the 3rd.

Have Jupiter in the 3rd house but you don't travel too much, you were never top of the class and you're shy? BUT how about your siblings, cousins or neighbours? Or maybe your school environment was very preachy or you even attended a catholic school? Look at the bigger picture because, newsflash, even your natal chart doesn't revolve all around you.

TIMING

If we're talking more about circumstances and events, this is a very important point to understand. You're not born with a load of experience and unless you're in your elderly age, you cannot ever say that a certain placement doesn't apply to you. You have Saturn in the 7th? Well maybe you went through that ONE bad breakup/divorce in your life - obviously you're not going through it for the eternity. You have Jupiter in the 7th house yet you struggle in relationships? But then you get into one in your 30s or even 40s and it's with the most jupiterian person in the world and you're happily together for the rest of your lives. You have Sun in the 10th house but you're whining that you're not acknowledged or popular or whatever? Well yeah, you're just being annoying, you know that not everyone can be a teenage superstar influencer or whatever - climbing the social ladder usually takes decades so don't even start with this one.

Nothing is constant. Things require time and that time is often influenced by, you've guessed it, ✨timing techniques✨ lol. So progressions, profections, transits, time lord periods etc. It may be that you won't even live enough to actually experience it. Some gain acclaim after they die, soz.

Other times certain events and traits only apply at certain moments in your life. I've mentioned my sister and her peak period in her teens. Well, she also happen to have Jupiter - her ascendant ruler - in the 3rd house, which may imply that she had the most luck and positive experiences during her school years. Same with other houses, If you have planets in the 7th house they may only be active while you're in a relationship. If you have planets in the 9th they may only activate when you're abroad or during your time in college. If you have planets in the 10th they may only switch on when you're on a high position career-wise. Not every house speaks of moments in life per se, but some do so keep that in mind.

WRONG HOUSE SYSTEM

Some of you stubborn lil kiddos might hate what I'm about to say… but if you're using the default placidus, I do encourage you to ✨open your mind✨ and check out your chart using the whole sign system. It's usually more straightforward and pretty much always more accurate from a constructive point of view.

✨ I GO MORE IN-DEPTH WITH THINGS LIKE THIS IN MY E-BOOK. ALSO, THE BESTEST ASTRO E-CALENDAR FOR 2024 THAT YOU CAN GET IS AVAILABLE HERE! ✨