#i am going to have to break up with Mr knight and it isn't going to be easy

[btr-rewatch]

Big Time Rush Season 1, Episode 18: “Big Time Concert” (Part 1)

Well, it only took me (checks blog) 35 weeks, but I finally made it to the last episode of season 1. Much like "Big Time Audition," this one will probably be posted in multiple parts. Let's jump right in.

Highlights: Like one paragraph of actual episode content, followed by me spiraling into a rambling over the original unaired BTR pilot

The boys run into Gustavo's office all excited. Their first album is finally complete!

They're also going on tour!

Their first show is in two weeks, and we get a daydream sequence where the guys imagine what the performance might be like. The footage from their fantasy is actual footage from a concert they performed in Times Square. I think it might have been their first-ever actual performance in front of an audience like that?

I remember watching that concert special when it premiered on TV.

Just like when they first arrived in Hollywood, Gustavo enlists the help of Mr. X to put them through some grueling boyband boot camp. But with an added twist.

After a montage of the boys bumping into each other, running into walls, and falling off the stage, they make a break for it and run to a nearby supply closet to hide. Sensing his buddies are close to throwing in the towel, Kendall launches into what might be my favorite opening lines to one of his pep talks.

Leave it to Kendall to be like, "On top of his terrible personality, you know what else Gustavo is? Ugly."

At the urging of the other three, Kendall puts his speech into hockey terms, and that made me think about how several of Kendall's pep talks this season have included hockey analogies. I wonder if that carries on through the rest of the series. I know they continue to sprinkle in reminders that the guys are into hockey, but I don't remember it being quite so prevalent as the series goes on.

Onto the Katie storyline. She's up in 2J, hard at work making BTR shirts to sell for the upcoming concert tour. Mama Knight isn't thrilled with the idea of her daughter becoming a bootlegger, but she's swayed once she hears how much money Katie stands to make. I do like her initial reaction to hearing Katie's plan. "How did you get like this? I never dropped you. Not once."

We go back to the guys, who have returned to their concert training where Dak Zevon is ready to teach them all about the art of dealing with rabid fans.

I don't think I've mentioned him much, but I love Dak Zevon. What a fun, goofy character. Curt Hansen is great in the role, and I am always SO GLAD that he was replaced as the original series lead. He's a wonderful Dak, but not such a great "Curt Knight." I remember watching clips from the original pilot back when they were first leaked, and it was like catching a glimpse into a weird, alternate universe. The audition scene especially!!

(this is something I probably should have included in my posts on Big Time Audition, but I didn't think to at the time)

LIKE!!!! Everything about this is so off. Even Gustavo doesn't "feel" like Gustavo. He feels reserved. Not nearly as loud and angry and exasperated as the Gustavo we all know and love. Where's his fire??

It is nice that James got to sing more of his audition song, though!

But the entire scene is off. All of it. Curt is talented, but BTR needed Kendall. I genuinely, truly believe the series (and band) wouldn't have gone on to be successful without him. I'm not sure it even would have survived season 1.

Curt has too much swag?? That's the best word to describe it. He's too pretty boy. Plays the character much too confidently, like he KNOWS how cool and handsome he is, which is so. Not Kendall. Even just the mannerisms. It's hard to put into words, but there's something almost...dainty (?) about Kendall Schmidt's performance throughout the whole series. Like...his mannerisms at times, the way he moves. He's Mr. Captain of the Hockey Team Jock Guy, but he's also delicate? Does anyone know what I'm talking about???

↑ this

Basically, Curt is no tall, blond, and eyebrows. I don't see him having been able to pull off the same level of physical comedy that Kendall does or having that same level of anxiety Kendall carries with him—that constant frenzy of fixing everything and worrying about everyone and holding things together.

(and don't get me started on the original Knight family. That whole scene feels like something out of a bad Disney channel movie)

Well...that was a fun little rant. All that to say that I DO genuinely enjoy Curt as Dak, and I think everyone ended up exactly where they were supposed to be.

Let's pull this massively derailed thought-train back on track. Dak has the guys practice running along the stage to high-five fans. James goes first and is immediately pulled off stage and disappears into the sea of rabid fans. The response to this is delightful.

And because I got so sidetracked while making this post, I'm going to put a bookmark in it right here. Guess we'll find out James's fate in the next one.

[timomoe]

estonia for the bingo thing

Oh god, anon, you really opened the flood gates with this one. This is gonna be a massive post, and I'm so sorry to everyone in advance.

Note: these are all things that bother me personally. I am not attempting to make anyone feel like they should also feel mad about these things. I am not out to shame anyone who has hcs that are different than my own. I'm just breaking my thoughts down. Idc how anyone characterizes Estonia.

1. I Dont Trust The Fandom With Estonia, Ever

Estonia's fandom depictions range from elegant, eloquent, intelligent, calm, and collected to creepy basement dwelling discord mod neck beard with no friends and no personality. The latter characterization is - you guessed it - a leftover from Old Fandom and is slowly dying off. It doesn't stop people from continuing to make him into an internet-y, awkward loser, though, and that's really sad to me, ngl. A lot of people see him as a weak, lonely loser, when this is actually extremely removed from canon. Ofc, headcanons are fine, but I see a surprising amount of people who think this characterization is canon, when in reality, it's just fanon. Canonically speaking, Estonia is very good at making friends and is easily able to maintain good relations with most of the nations. He's perceptive and able to read the feelings of people around him. He has lots of hobbies that he's really good at, too. He's smart and good with money and business. According to Himaruya, he SMELLS LIKE MONEY (which I just think is funny).

Nowadays, the fandom is usually nice to him, but unfortunately I do still see ppl completely mischarachterizing him and his relationships, especially when it comes to the Nordics. I think people tend to forget that Estonia is on good terms with every Nordic except for Iceland, and it isn't for no reason. Estonia shares very strong history with Denmark, Sweden, and Finland - a majority of the Nordics - and Norway seems to like him - or at least tolerate him - too. In the series, Estonia sees Sweden as a mentor figure, and he deeply respects him and his opinions. Finland is Estonia's best friend. Denmark and Estonia are on good terms. Their relationship isn't expanded on much, but Denmark never so much as implies that he thinks Estonia is annoying or a try hard. Norway, notorious teaser and pain in the ass (affectionate) also never teases or takes a jab at Estonia on screen or in the manga.

He's friends with people like America - the two work on silly little projects together just for shits and giggles. Oddly, America seems to treat Estonia quite well; from the little we've seen of their friendship, it seems like the two have been friends for a while, at least since 2007, as "The Gentle Fight Between Russia and I" is based off the 2007 Russian cyber attacks on Estonia. That's around 16 years ago, now.

As mentioned previously, Estonia is also frequently viewed as being wimpy and weak, when this is not the case. People usually tend to point to Estonia's time in the Soviet Union or the first time that Sweden and Estonia meet to back that up, but I counter with this - Estonia was actively being colonized at both of those time periods. The strip "The Violent Mr. Sve of Northern Europe Takes a Swing," is set at the beginning of the Swedish Era in Estonia. It details just how Sweden got ahold of Estonia to begin with - by being generally terrifying on accident. Prior to this point in time, though, Estonia was being treated badly by literally everyone around him (Teutonic Knights, Baltic Germans, etc.), so of course he would assume that this new man was here to treat him similarly (especially if you consider Estonians and Swedes had squabbled in the past over various things, and Estonia ALSO burned down Sweden's first capital.)

As far as the Soviet Era is concerned, Russia was extremely abusive to all of the Baltic States, dishing out really nasty punishments to them - going so far as to kill Latvia (albeit on accident) - when they speak out or annoy him. Of course he would be afraid of him.

Now, though? Estonia is daring and confident. He isn't afraid of Russia and routinely mouths off to him, challenges, stands up to, and outsmarts him. Even if he was afraid before, he isn't now. He has, seemingly, come back into himself. Yay character progression!!

2. I Know Him Better Than The Creator, Yaas, Queen, Give Us Nothing, & If I Could Save Him From the Narrative, I Would.

I know I just wrote 6 whole paragraphs about why I like Estonia's canon depiction, but I have to be 100% honest, I'm also not the biggest fan of Himaruya's interpretation of Estonia. There are good things about him, and I enjoy a lot of what he's put out, but at the same time there are things about him in canon that really annoy me.

For one, despite Estonians being very fond of their country, its history, culture, and language, Estonia... Isn't. At all. He is obsessed with being a Nordic, does not really treat Latvia and Lithuania well (which is strange imo, bc due to shared oppression, history, and struggle, the Baltic States are pretty tight knit.) and doesn't seem to care that it hurts them to know he would rather be a Nordic than a Baltic, and he seems to think that becoming a Nordic will solve a lot of his problems. He talks more about how cool Finnish culture is than he does his own, and that's really disappointing to me because when it comes to history, culture, and language, for Estonia there's so much to talk about.

Like let's think about the Eesti Can't Into Nordic joke that's running in the series. I'd like to remind y'all (/lh) that the Estonian government proposed the idea of Estonia being Nordic only once. One time. And the reason it failed was two-way. Not only did the Nordic nations not care, but Estonians were generally against it.

As far as I know, it's got to do with previously stated attachment to the other Baltics, and also because of their flag. For those who don't know, the Estonian flag was a banned symbol in the USSR, and anyone caught with it could face some pretty hefty punishments. The only reason we still have the original Estonian flag is bc two college dudes were like "mine vittu, venelased!" *Spits on the ground and shoves the Estonian flag behind a chimney where it will stay safe.*

Also. The joke about Estonia wanting to join the Nordics seems silly, as there's been this neat little thing called the Nordic Baltic 8 that's been around since the 90s. There's already an entire organization made up of all the Nordics and Baltics with the point of it being mutual aid and cooperation. Meaning all of the things Estonia thought he'd get by becoming a Nordic have already come to fruition.

On top of that, it had been a symbol of Estonian endurance, freedom, and perseverance for decades by that point. People were so attached to it and adverse to making the tricolor into a Nordic cross, so the idea died.

Edit: was also reminded by an Estonian friend that some of the suggested designs for the first Estonian flag were in fact in a Nordic Cross pattern, but they all lost out to the tricolor, meaning that whole idea wasn't just rejected once, but twice.

There's also something about his name that annoys me a little. While I believe it was genuinely an accident, Eduard's name is surreal. Let me explain what I mean. Himaruya tends to legacy name his characters. England is named for king Arthur, Sweden's last name is taken from a Swedish writer, Finland is named after Väinämöinen, Latvia is named after a Latvian singer.

The only person in Estonian history of any note with the last name Von Bock was a Baltic German man who, among other things, hated ethnic Estonians and believed them to be subhuman. Bit of an oopsie to give him a name like that. Not even Eduard is an Estonian name, it is just the Estonianized spelling of a German name too. Eduard isn't so bad though, since it is actually a common Estonian name.

3. I Want To Protect Them, Babygirl MF, They're Like a Brother to Me, & They're So Cute When They're Bleeding.

Ok so the basics of this one are: I love Estonia, he's a weirdo, he's my favorite, I only ever want good things for him, and yet every single time I write anything involving him, it always winds up being angsty as shit and sad. I am not allowed to let this man be happy, IG.

[bookofkatherine]

Distracted by an Angel: Chris Hemsworth Kicks Silver Surfer to the Curb

Thursday August 22, 2024 5:55 p.m.

Dear Journal,

Fucking Chris Hemsworth, man. It's like he knew - he KNEW - I had just logged onto Tumblr and was about to write a post about Chris Evans and maybe even John Krasinski.

And he couldn't have that now, could he? Oh no. Ohhh NO! (He's one of the more competitive angels among my Knights.) So! He sent me this photo instead. He knew what it would do. He knew I hadn't seen it before. He knew I'd be totally and utterly distracted. That was the goal.

And it worked.

Now what am I supposed to do!?!?!

Gone are my plans to write about killing the Silver Surfer this morning... down the drain. Whoosh!

Gone are my plans to write about another angel among us, Ryan Gosling, and how Denzel Washington's role in the Equalizer movies are all based on real-life adventures Ryan has actually lived.

Gone are all the poems I planned to write, share and read. Gone are all the news stories, the love stories and the ideas I had in my head to share here, there and everywhere - gone, gone, gone!!!

Even poor Tom Hiddleston, trapped on the Otherside, who was finally allowed to reconnect with me today, taking me past the brink of ecstasy for the first time in what feels like eternity - no posts about him. No thoughts about him. No laying back in bed to remember where he put his fingers and lips...

No. Not even Tom's recommendations for our next rendevous helped.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

As much as I should be thinking about wrapping a black silk tie around my wrist and wearing nothing but lingerie with the black-bow heels Tom sent me... Nope!

I'm just thinking about Thor's hands.

Or should I say... hand.

Because - Mr. Thor knows exactly what he can do with his right hand. And he knows that I know how talented he is with that hand too.

Dammit.

And I know, I know.

Why isn't Chris Hemsworth sending me photos from the hotel room he's in right now?

Well.... that would break protocol. I don't even send him original photos. None of us in The Order do. It's too risky.

Instead we have various handles, accounts and pseudonyms all over the internet to share our lives with each other without compromising our locations or our safety. We are in the most dangerous battle, after all, the Final War. It's much easier to send each other media from before, when the Last Battle hadn't begun yet.

For example, Tom Hiddleston is on the Otherside. The dead don't have smart phones. Cameras are most definitely not allowed.

The best he can do is make me small Loki's in the clouds when I go out for a drive. Before he was sent to the Otherside, when he was here, he'd make giant Loki clouds with enormous horns, horns that were bigger than my house.

But now he has to settle for itty bitty horns atop a tiny Loki cloud. I don't mind. I'd rather see him in the clouds than lose him altogether.

Cap (Chris Evans) is on my lawn helping to train the Knights for war. No one thinks to take a photo while training in the arena. If they did, Merlin the Wizard would probably appear out of thin air and confiscate the phone.

And Chris Hemsworth? Thor himself!?

Well... he's in a hotel room with the final prophet who just arrived a couple of weeks ago. Oh, they aren't alone. The prophet's son is there, and Chris, Merlin, Dumbledore, Kyle, Jordan and even my husband Nick aare all there to save the son's life.

Why is the prophet's son in danger of dying? Well, you can thank Chris Hemworth for that - and Tom Hiddleston. Those two tinker with fucking magic like they really are gods instead of fucking angels.

You know what? Don't get me started. I'm pretty upset about the whole thing. I was supposed to marry that prophet over a decade ago, before Nick. And those two angels - Tom/Loki and Chris/Thos - got so jealous that they cast spells on us to break us up.

And not once... those two did it TWICE!!!

Aaaaarrrrggghhh!!!

"I love ya, babe," Chris Hemsworth just said. Yeah. Yeah. He knows I'm in love with him. I can't help it. So he's just giving me a wink and a smile.

You know why?

Because he sent me THESE!!!

I didn't even know he could ride!!!! Did you!?!? Holy fucking Christ!!!! This is totally unfair!!!

And he knows I go weak in the knees for this smile, especially when he's with adorable animals.

I still remember why, though:

Alexander Skarsgard and the lamb. Remember that photo??? And all the others like it? (Oh. Right. You might be new. Alex was the first angel I ever fell in love with. That was back in 2014. I didn't meet Chris Hemsworth until December 2023 - but he had been guarding me since I was born. So he got pretty jealous of Alex when the Lord allowed him into my life long, long, long before Chris Hemsworth.)

Anyhow - a bunch of the angels began taking photos like this after Alex took these for me while away.

Yeah. Adorable right?

How no one figured out that Alexander Skarsgard was a literal angel walking among us before now, I'll never know. The signs were all that. That man... well. I guess that's another post.

*happy sigh*

Anyhow!!!

Chris Hemsworth sent me this too. And goddammit - I just can't resist. My brain is full of him now, and the result?

The result is as folllows:

-I didn't spend time with anyone in the Dreamworld

-I didn't write the poem Original Sin for Cap (Chris Evans) like I planned too

-I didn't stretch my new muscles out after a vigorous lovemaking session with John, Tom and the Knights, when my muscles were nice and warm

-I didn't get healing (many of the Knights can heal me through the Dreamworld)

-I didn't write about anyone else except for Chris Hemsworth/Thor again, when I haven't written about anyone else on here yet!!!

Oh, dear journal.

I fucking killed the Silver Surfer at 6:00 a.m. in the morning today. And it's not even on my mind.

My boy had got me all caught up.

I suppose, in the end, it's a good problem to have.

I mean.... would you LOOK at him??? He just sent this at lunch. It's as if he was saying, "I'm gonna drive you nuts later today - and you know what? You're going to love me anyway, babe."

And you know what?

He was right.

Note: I call Chris Hemsworth by both of his names: Thor and Chris. I call him Thor at times because he does indeed have most of the powers attributed to Thor Odinson.

I'll write about this more in the future, but the angels of Earth were often called gods by various cultures. Angels are immortal. They don't die. They are sent to either heaven or the Pit, a prison for the Fallen.

Anyhow, Chris Hemsworth is an angel. He can walk among us, just like the angels did when they visited Enoch, Daniel, Mary, Joseph and John the Apostle. Angels even visited Sodom and Gemorrah. And at all times, these angels are described as tall, bronze, buff and hot as hell.

Sounds like Chris Hemsworth to me.

I mean, he can fly.

The man has wings. Hell, I have wings! A lot of people in The Order do.

But my point is, Chris Hemsworth is not just an angel, he is one of the most powerful angels ever created. Around the world he was called various names, including Thor and even Alexander the Great.

But the majority of his adventures have been told in the movies under the name Thor. I mean, he is Tom Hiddleston's brother. (And yes, Tom Hiddleston is also pretty fucking powerful. He has Loki's powers, as one of the twelve Olympians - though in Rome he was called Hephaestus.)

Thank you for reading!!! I love you guys!!! I post @ prophetsjournal on Twitter the most often. It's just easier. But I'm glad I joined the Tumblr community. There's so much freedom here, and the readers are just fantastic.

Love you!!! Have an AMAZING day!

(And, by the way, you should really read my stuff while you're on your way to the New Earth. Like Noah Ark, the Lord's provided a way out of this apocalypse/climate change. Take it! I'm only here to fight Satan back so you can go ahead to safety without interruption. Please do!!! Before the pearly gate portals close. xoxo, K)

[vocalyrics]

Mr. Schadenfreude - Translyrics

Mod's choice

Free to use and modify with credit

Schadenfreude: a person who shamelessly enjoys the suffering of others.

NOTE: Some parts of the song have discrepancies between the subtitles and what is being said. The way I've chosen to format this is SUBTITLE [WHAT IS BEING SAID]

-

“For an unforgivable sin, revenge and salvation will begin,”

As the curtains rise, a devilish deed, oh, Mr. Schadenfreude

Give a kiss to your despair, pathetically cling as you hang on air,

And savor that pathetic LIFE [SIN]... Infinity. ∞

-

==ORACLE==

“A noble devil of ancient times will manifest, and so one of you will be possessed.

Full of mercy and wearing their skin, it'll bring DEATH [SALVATION] to your souls full of sin.”

Next to The Priestess who is in a detached sort of voice reading,

THE FIFTH VILLAGER [THE TWIN] breaks down crying, and The Undertaker starts embalming.

But in this Devil's game this is naught but the beginning,

And until THE HUMANS OR THE DEVIL [EITHER SIDE] goes extinct, it won't be over.

-

“The culprit can only be one of us!”

“Who on earth would do such a thing...?”

“The devil, the game, or whatever... I don't care.”

“Haah!? Who did it!? Come on, cough it up already!”

“A demon, really? Such things don't exist.”

“No need to worry, after all, THE KNIGHT IS [I am] here to protect you!”

-

Cheating each other in absurdity?

Is this a gambit of uncertainty?

What's the devil's modus operandi?

“Are you Mr. Schadenfreude?”

The game of hangman is ready,

Who is it that will get the DEATH [TROPHY]?

And can we put an end to this Massaker*?

-

==ORACLE==

“A noble devil of ancient times is filled with spite, and so it has saved the pitiful knight,

Now that it has made its move from within, it will bring DEATH [SALVATION] to your souls full of sin.”

Next to The Priestess who is in a detached sort of voice reading,

THE SECOND VILLAGER [HIS BEST FRIEND] starts shouting, and The Undertaker keeps embalming.

It's almost as if you're treating someone [SICK] RECOVERING? [LAUGHS]

If this arrogant plot of “salvation” keeps going on...

-

“I guarantee I'll have the devil hanged by evening.”

“I'll finally be able to have my revenge!”

“Don't you get it? No matter what you do, we'll all die.”

“Oh, cut it out with the pointing fingers already! If you want to blame someone, then please hang [THE THIRD VILLAGER] ME!”

“By the way, could you please explain why I found [THE SECOND VILLAGER'S] YOUR choker on the corpse?”

-

Has accusing become an addiction?

Is it a fair judgement of conviction?

Start the devil's crucifixion -

Give up, Mr. Schadenfreude!

With trembling hands we pray,

As the corpse on the gallows starts to sway,

Until we're off the stage, it won't end: Richten*.

-

[REVERSED: IS THE IMMORTAL FINALLY COMPLETED?

“I DON'T WANT TO DIE” HE IS SHOUTING.

YOUR DESTINY.

NOW, ETERNAL LIFE IS SUFFERING;

SELFISHLY,

YOU HOLD A GRUDGE AGAINST ME.]

-

The bell signaling the dawn rings without making a sound,

As if guarding The Priestess, who's [DEAD] SOUND ASLEEP and bound.

She killed herself in the graveyard, [THE FOURTH VILLAGER] THAT GIRL's laying dead on the ground

What it says on the [SUICIDE NOTE] LETTER she holds: “COME AND [KILL] SAVE ME AS QUICKLY AS YOU CAN!”

-

Rather than being remembered as a deceiver,

Isn't it better to be saved as a victim?

Is it time to awaken the [SCHADENFREUDE] NATURE hidden?

“Someone's [DEATH] SUFFERING's a good feeling...”

“Who” was it that arranged this [DEVIL'S GAME] WHOLE THING?

“Someone” who wants us to believe it's the devil's deeds...

...Who is that [someone] behind this...?

Who's to blame?

-

It seems that there's a necrophiliac in our midst,

[THE UNDERTAKER IS] YOU'RE the devil, and don't you even dare resist!

That's so disgusting and profane... It's hard to believe you [LIKE IT] EXIST!

Oh?

Being a [CORPSE PRO] FUNERAL AGENT is my job,

So it's only natural that [CORPSES] THEY are the ones whom I love.

And about those [CORPSES] THAT I had loved, every single last one of them was human.

-

The more pathetic your excuse is,

The more it is that you'll seem foolish!

At last, we know who the devil is -

You are Mr. Schadenfreude!

At last, to celebrate the devil's defeat

The survivors pour a drink for victory;

But then [THE ONE] I, who have [GONE INSANE] MADE A MISTAKE...

...In eternal sleep, will never suffer heartache.

-

In a [IMMORTAL] HOPELESS world, will you run away

Or in a dance with [THE DEVIL] ME will you be led astray?

This failed salvation lost it's way -

Ease your mind in a golden slumber.

Never fulfilling the dream that you clutch,

The curtains drop for the final [SALVATION] TOUCH;

So that in the end none of us will be left behind...

And so in the end none of them survived... again. ∞

-

*Massaker: German for "massacre"

*Richten: German for "judgement"

[goldenworldsabound]

Ok that's it, time to throw down. Which one of you is the most romantic?

The room erupts into noise as everyone begins talking over each other at once, swiftly raising their voices.

Break: it's good I'm used to dealing with nobility...this is a room full of them. And the worst kind too. Jealous and possessive and overly confident. Used to getting anything they want. 🤷uvu

Comte de Saint Germain: oh, please, I worked hard to earn my off putting reputation. Such a reduction is rather unkind. 🙃

Break: Oh, so you heard that? Heh, that wasn't intended for your ears at all. :>

Comte de Saint Germain: clearly.

Rufus: I do believe we all heard, Mr. Break, was it? How very thoughtless. I shudder to think of what sorts of unromantic ways you might treat our beloved.

Francis: Haha! Good one, Rufus. I do quite agree that the valet cannot possibly be as romantic as the rest of us. Though of course, I am still the most romantic of us all, and I think this is patently apparent.

Rufus: please. You're a bumbling fool at best.

Francis: Oh? Is that so? Hearing that from the one who inherited his wealth and then lost it all is rich.

Ruthven: This discussion is meaningless. Ultimately, Wendy would be the one to make such a call, however much we may protest. I'd like to propose something that I believe everyone will find agreeable.

Comte de Saint Germain: I would be loathe to call anything you may suggest "agreeable" 🙂

Ruthven: of course you would, haha. Well, feel free not to participate then. For everyone else, why don't we all share why we believe ourselves to be the most romantic? That seems like a fair and equitable approach.

The approach is decided on...and the answers are provided below the cut. Feel free to share in the comments who you think is the winner...

Break

Oh? I get to go first? I'm shocked. How kind of you. All I feel the need to share is that upon finding out that Wendy is insecure about not being from one the dukedoms, I promptly organized a date to make them feel like a Princess out with their ever loyal knight. Lady Sharon even helped make sure we really pulled out all the bells and whistles at no cost to darling Wenwen. :>

Comte de Saint German

We've been together for so many centuries that it's hard to track the time. But in this time, we've come to know each other intimately well. I return from my travels, and I can focus all of my time and energy on making them feel loved. Our relationship has never felt dull - but full of new energy and vigor with each visit. Despite the time, I find new ways to surprise and delight them, going out of my way, whether it be small or large. I think that one simply cannot beat the closeness of a relationship that spans centuries and retains it's spark with ease. If you require an example, I am expert in cheering up ma chatounette when they are feeling down - I can tell easily if they want me to merely listen, to try to solve the problem, or to provide some distraction. What is more romantic than a deep understanding of one's partner, and acting on that knowledge to love them?

Rufus

I don't need to extrapolate on all the pampering and spoiling I've done...though surely, anyone who truly understands romance will recognize that it is not extravagance alone that creates romance. Romance is the small moments of tenderness between us. Romance is showing them that I've been paying attention not just to their likes and dislikes, but to their hopes and dreams and what makes them who they are. Giving them a space to be themself, in the way they have given me the very same thing.

Francis

I'm sure that all of us, sans the valet, are experts at pampering and spoiling our beloved Aura with everything money can buy. I certainly am. But yes, I would agree that this isn't truly what romance is. Baring our souls to each other, sharing our worries, and indulging in the things we enjoy together. My darling Aura can find it difficult to express what they want - I help them find what that is, and help achieve it, whether it's acquiring dairy free crepes or eating a delicious meal to celebrate an achievement. It's also the little personal things - dancing in the kitchen while I sing to them, for example. In those moments, I can see their eyes shine.

Ruthven

Hm, I worry some of you only see mon tresor as a repository for your vulnerable thoughts and feelings. Ma cherie spent many years in the mortal world, and has felt sorely misunderstood by their own kind here in Altus. Opening their eyes to new sights and new experiences they were not privy to has seen them grow and flourish as a vampire. Assuaging their concerns, and supporting them fully in their wishes and desires. But pampering and spoiling in excess is not romance - what is, is the appropriate application of such things. Timing is everything. Such young mortals cannot fully appreciate that. It is not going out every night for a formal meal - it is making an occasion out it, building up suspense, speaking softly and sweetly of it, and making them feel truly loved. The valet is halfway there - but he's much to learn compared to me.

[businesscasualart]

honestly i'd be curious to hear 1, 11 and 46 if you like any holiday films, i'm always curious. i have like 3 christmas movies i've been apeshit over since childhood and apparently this isn't common

[AAA I NEVER ACTUALLY SENT THE RESPONSE MY BAD. Try not to monologue forever challenge, FAILED‼️IMPOSSIBLE‼️]

The questions are from here <3 thank you sm this was so fun!

1. Who is/are your comfort character(s)?

I actually don’t really classify my favorite characters. I just get really attached to a lil guy and add him to The Collection and don’t question it. I got a guy for nearly every mood. I collect them in a china cabinet in my mind palace or something. I don’t even know if I know exactly what a comfort character is supposed to be. But I think I can convert any of my blorbos into a source of comfort in case of an emergency. 

I DO recall the like…first and only character I openly called a comfort character with minimal second thought was Dr. Henry Jekyll from the classic gothic lit novel, The Strange Case Of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. 

Then my friends were like “elaborate on that” and I was like “no <3”. 

I still don’t know if I can actually elaborate on that. The curse of the Tortured-By-His-Own-Hubris-And-Sin Victorian Man™️ weighs heavily on me as well as he. That’s the best I got. C’est la vie. He’s just like me fr if you squint and tilt your head and actually go blind. 

Besides Jekyll, the beloved. Uhhhh. Who else could be a comfort character? OH haha, okay, so…

How do I condense this down without giving a whole drawn out story…I don’t have much in the way of physical insecurities. I’m usually pretty confident. But, and y’all may have noticed this by now, I’ve always fancied myself…a big, strong, masc woman. Y’know? I say butch-y a lot, idk if I can say “I’m butch” if I’m straight. 

However, despite all that, I am not…the optimal or ideal …or stereotypical? big, strong, masc woman. I am small. Small and scrawny. Greasy, wiry bastard. I’m athletic! I run for hours everyday! I work out! I tend to my family’s farm by hand! But uh…still, short, unnoticeable muscle. Nobody looks at something kinda heavy and thinks I can carry it. People laugh when I even suggest the concept of me fighting someone.

My height and difficult-to-notice muscle can upset me greatly. Like how can I be a big strong lady in this economy? Every character or person I look at that I want to be like…is about at least twice my size, or twice my mass. Like??? I’LL NEVER HAVE THE SAME VIBES, I’ll never achieve that! It’ll never be the same! 

I guess it’s a pretty common thing to feel but it’s not something I’ve really felt before or about anything else. 

Ik you’re into BG3. I haven’t played it, I don’t intend to. I think if I get it, it’s not a matter of if but when it’ll break my computer or my me. 

But…I know Some stuff…I know a little bit about Lae’zel. Like uh…frog lady, warrior or knight, rude, devoted? …uh…something about licking sweat?…xenophobia? idk that’s not my point-

My point is, like…she gets big buff lady privileges, she’s treated the same as I see most big strong ladies I wish I could look like get treated. I thought she was a particularly big strong lady for awhile! But I looked it up and like…She doesn’t have that much visible muscle at all! It’s like, mostly armor. And she’s the shortest of the party too???? But she’s regarded like she’s huge and intimidating and like…ahhhh WHATEVER WHATEVER!!! It’s kinda stupid, it feels like it’s weird to dwell on this sappy stuff towards a character idek and I got two other questions I’m late to answer. I said I wasn’t gonna give a whole lengthy story. Just like. Thinking about her existence as a character and her character’s reception just…makes me feel better about myself. So she’d probably be a big contender for the status of “Comfort Character”.

11. Favorite extracurricular activity?

OUGH extracurricular??? I am…or, ig, was homeschooled in a state with some great loose restrictions. So when it came to school, we liked to play some of it fast and loose. Our neighbor obtains a dead boar and gives it to us? We gotta turn it into dinner? Gather around children, it’s time for some… biology dissections. That type of deal.

I did have some actual “extracurricular activities”, or ig since I was homeschooled they’d be called “hobbies”. Um…I was on a chess club, I wasn’t good; I did ballet, not well; I did tap, briefly; I did piano, with the least amount of passion;……I was not a great student. But I like to talk about them!  I keep forgetting I did all of that. They were fun, my skill and gripes aside. 

I do still run for fun. I started when I was like twelve, and discovered nightcore, and got filled with energy, and realized I cannot dance. I can sprint tho! So I’ve been running, for hours everyday, to music, ever since. Even though I do art, I’d consider it very separate from my education. So “track” or “cross-country” probably has to be it. 

I did also begin learning to code recently with some…questionable free code camp website. That’s pretty fun!

46. Favorite holiday film?

OOO hm. Okay. I always have it in my head that I don’t like holiday films but that might not be entirely true. I just watch them outside of the holiday, have some unconventional choices, or just dislike the ones my family always chooses. 

Idk if the exact definition of a ‘holiday film’ is a film based around a holiday or one viewed every time a certain holiday rolls around, but my favorite that might qualify for both is Jaws. We watched it every 4th of July for good while and it was probably the first horror type movie I’ve seen, I felt like a rebel for it but it was always my parents’ idea. 😂 I’ve loved horror ever since so maybe that started me down this path!…unless it’s not actually horror.

I’d love to hear about those Christmas movies you love! I have not settled on a favorite Christmas movie! I suppose I’m difficult to please.

I keep mixing up Christmas With The Kranks and National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, but I think I really enjoyed one or both of those. I ALSO LOVE A CHRISTMAS CAROLS omg, every A Christmas Carol movie, my absolute beloved. The Muppets one will always be The A Christmas Carol to me tho.

There was also It’s A Wonderful Life, I have had the WEIRDEST experience with it. I get why people don’t like it, but I’ve always firmly believed that the best way to experience a movie…is talking over it with friends and family PUT THE PITCHFORKS ASIDE FOR A MINUTE. We aren’t having full conversations the whole time but, for me, the movie watching experience just isn’t right without hearing occasional comments and thoughts and opinions and memories and predictions from company throughout the experience. No matter what movie or show it is. I think it’s a big part of why I can’t watch anything alone without going at an ABYSMALLY sluggish pace. I was raised on Reaction Videos before Reaction Videos were a thing XD

I watched It’s A Wonderful Life for the first time at home with my family last year, and a rarity happened: we all HATED it. Maybe one of us will not enjoy a movie but this one we were all groaning and checking the minutes left. It just felt like Nothing was happening and it was dragging on and on. The second time I watched it was actually later in the month, in a movie theater, with some brief acquaintances from a Women’s Group of sorts, in an attempt to make friends and the like. My mother came with but she was sitting a row behind me, a few chairs away. And I was sitting next to The Hostess and an old lady attending who couldn’t hear very well. I absolutely could Not talk, I am fully aware of theater etiquette and how much other people dislike it. So I didn’t talked. And actually? I actually liked it the second time around????? I asked my mother after and she liked it better too??????? Idk what it was, maybe it was bc we were talking over it at first for the magic of the movie theater experience but I just really liked it better. And that’s probably the closest to Christmas magic I’ve seen….okay, okay, second closest but we don’t need to get into it right here.

also, idk WHAT is going on with The Polar Express…but I think I’m messing with it. I’d need to rewatch it but I think I was a fan of…whatever was happening there <3

And ofc you can’t forget Die Har—[the Time based SAW trap I was trapped in the whole time goes off and kills me immediately for Not. shutting up.]

[thebirdandhersong]

🌙

[creweemmaeec11]

hey !! i love your work so much!! if its ok could you please write about villains kid being surprised at how well empty threats are working against hero,, 👉👈

YOU THOUGHT I FORGOT ABOUT THIS DIDNT YOU.

Finally found the time! Hope I did you justice! I'm so SO sorry for such a wait!

Out of all the things the hero had expected to find when breaking into the villains lair for information, a kid must have been at the bottom of the list.

Especially a kid who, at only 10 years old or so, managed to pull a switch and catch the hero in a pop up cage before they could react.

"You're going to be in so much trouble once dad gets home,"

"You- you're- Villain is your father!?"

That was a stupid question, this kid was a spitting image of the villain, blonde hair, piercing blue eyes.

Quick reflexes as well it seemed.

"Obviously," the little boy drawled in an unamused voice.

"Look kid-"

"Lyle."

"What?"

"My name. I was told not to give out my real one, so you can call me Lyle, cuz "kid" s'annoying,"

"Okay, listen Lyle, I'm not here to hurt you, okay?"

"Duh," Lyle replied, taking a few steps closer, "Then dad would REALLY kill you,"

The hero swallowed nervously. The villain could be vicious when they wanted to over arbitrary things. They didn't want to imagine how vicious the villain could get when they had something worthy to fight for.

"Why are you even here?"

"Uh... well..."

The kid just stared, eyes examining the hero, intelligent and attentive.

"I was hoping to talk to your dad, you see, but-"

"You're a bad liar you know,"

The hero tensed.

"I know who you are hero. I know your not dad's friend. I'm not stupid. Unlike you I'm a pretty good liar though. I accidentally broke a window an hour ago. I think I'm going to tell dad it was you. That way I can still watch tv before bed tonight."

"Lying isn't very nice," the hero said on automatic.

"Well, I don't think breaking into my house is very nice either Mr,"

"No, I suppose you're right," the hero conceded, unsure what to make of this kid. Would they be like their dad? "I'm very sorry about that. If you'd just let me get what I came for I can be on my way,"

"Or I could just leave you there till my dad gets home,"

White lies, that's all they were. Lyle wasn't his father. They were similar, sure, but Lyle was a good kid. In reality, Lyle wanted nothing to do with the whole "hero/villain" thing his father and this weirdo in front of him did. What him and his father did have in common, though, was his talent in lying, and using a situation to his advantage.

The hero paled slightly, "oh, there's no need for that..." they eyed the kid warily, "surely it would be easier to just let me go now?"

Lyle's eyes narrowed, "what's in it for me?"

The hero huffed. Like father like son it seemed.

"What do you want...?"

"You take blame for the window, or I'll leave you here for dad to find,"

The hero's eyes widened. That would still mean the villain knew they were here!

Right as they opened their mouth to argue though, a loud, low beeping noise could be heard in the distance.

"I'd choose quickly, because that was the front door,"

(In reality, it wasn't, but the hero didn't need to know that)

"Okay, yes! Fine! Just let me leave now!"

Lyle nodded and pulled the lever, opening the back door of the cage for the hero to exit out the same way they came in.

"Pleasure doing business!" Lyle called, quoting his father with a highly amused smile.

The hero just shook their head, muttering a "kids" under their breath before taking off into the night. Master Taglist: @llamaly @why-am-i-on-this-website-anyway @literally-just-kirby @larinzz @sharraus @asrasmysoulmate @kaiwewi @akawrites000 @sunflower1000 @aroacewitchyacademic @aquarelle-sirene @lbelle0527 @trappedgoose-in-a-writblr-room @freefallingup13 @enemies-to-idiots-to-lovers @homosexual-having-tea @friiday-thirteenth @chocomarsgalaxy @ravenshadow17 @daydreamed-snippets @stankyt0es @jinx1365 @rainy-knights-of-villany (did you guys get successfully tagged in this? Lemme know)

[pixie88]

Bad Decision

Chapter 4 - Our Little Secret.

A/N: Queen B fanfiction. I’m currently editing and adding all  my FF to my new account. All being added to my pinned masterlist on my profile. Let me know if you would like to be tagged! 

Find previous chapters HERE under Queen B - Our Little Secret.

Word count: 1757

WARNINGS: ⚠️ Some adult language & Angst

Disclaimer: Characters are property of Pixelberry.

Pairings: Ian x MC - Lyla.

Enjoy!

"Lillian, I can explain" Ian tells her "How can any explanation make the fact you are sleeping with a student make this right? Ian, this is wrong on so many levels! Do you not care about your career?" she asks him.

I close the door, Ian turns to me for help "Lillian, I understand this looks bad but I promise this isn't how it started. When we first met I had no idea he was my professor nor did he know I was his student" "So when you did find out why didn't you stop it Ian?" Lillian asks him.

"Lillian, I tried, but the more I denied myself the more I wanted. I love Lyla, I'm even moving to a different university, so I can be with her without any repercussions" " So, you tried? It doesn't look like you tried very hard Ian! What do you two fuck between classes? I bet Lyla is an A class student in your class she has to be considering she's fucking her professor. Ian, how can you be so reckless?" Ian face turns to annoyance.

Lillian, Stop! I will not have you talk about or to Lyla like that! Yes, I have been reckless, but that is from my own doing!" Lillian face soften "Ian, I'm sorry! I just don't want this to blow up in your face and end your career you worked so hard for" (Lillian is right, I can't let Ian risk his career for me. At least not while he's still working here).

"Ian, your sister is right, maybe we should cool it until you start your new job. I can't risk you losing everything for me. So, I think it is best that you find a new TA for the rest of your time here. I'll see you in class." I put the graded essays on the small coffee table.

I go to leave the room, but I feel an arm on my shoulder "Lyla, No! Don't do this!" I turn to face him, his eyes are sad "Ian, I don't want to, but we have to," I see Lillian giving me an agreeing nod to the side of Ian.

"We can still carry on in secret, no one will know" his eye pleading with me (I have to tell him about Poppy) "Someone found out!" I tell him, and he pulls away "You're lying! You're just saying that, so I agree to take a break." "Ian, I wish I was, but I'm not. Poppy found out about us she had photo's of us. She was going to use them to blackmail me, but I managed to delete every copy she had and burn the paper ones. I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to worry. I didn't want you to be a part of my mess" he gives me those puppy dog eyes I can't resist.

"Lyla, You should have told me. We could've dealt with that together" I smile "As much as I love you being my knight in shining armour, this was my mess" "No Lyla, It was our mess. You should've told me." he cups my face.

"I know, but so we don't have this problem again, I think we cool it just until you no longer my professor!" he lets go of my face, turns away from me and takes a seat behind his desk.

"Ian, I know it must be hard, but it makes sense and it's only for a few weeks. I think what Lyla is doing is very noble" she smiles at me.

"If that's all Lyla you may go. I'll get a new TA sorted from tomorrow." he doesn't look at me. I leave his office deflated. (Get a grip 8 weeks aren't that long).

2 Weeks later, I have only seen Ian in class I avoid being the first one there so it isn't awkward or at least any more awkward than Ian has made it. Ian avoids my eyes in every lesson and ignores me around campus. He got a new TA 2 days after I told him to get a new one.

I'm not sure Tony seems up to the job as Ian stressed when ever he's around. Ian's class has ended and I'm getting my stuff together to leave when I hear "Ian! It's so good to see you again" I look up to see Lexi approaching Ian's desk at the front of the class.

I hear his husky tone as I make my way to the end of the aisle to leave the classroom "Lexi, you're early" I reach the door when I hear her reply, "Oh, I thought maybe we could have a few drinks before Richard and Annie arrive" (Argh I need a drink and also a bath tub to drown Lexi in).

I send a quick text to Zoe asking if she was free tonight, but she has a lot of studying to catch up on so would probably spend the night in the library.

(Looks like your on your own tonight Lyla).

After I head home to change I found myself outside The Base Lounge a new club that opened last week. I make my way inside and take a seat at the bar and order a passion fruit martini.

After I don't know how many martinis I pull out my phone. I want to text Ian but I shouldn't, but I go against my better judgement.

[Hi Ian, I hope yuo are having a dreadful time on your date with Lexi!]

[You* Whoops]

PING (5 Minutes later)

[Lyla, I am not on a date with Lexi. We are just having dinner with a few colleagues.]

I laugh nearly falling off the bar stool.

[I bet that's not how she sees it. Now you're free for the making.]

[making*]

[Wait that's still not right taking*]

PING (3 Minutes later)

[Lyla, No one is going to take me. You said it was for the best!]

[That was sober Lyla's idea. She's stupid!! I dom't like her!]

[Don't*]

PING (2 Minutes later)

[Lyla, Are you drunk?]

[Well duh! Come on progessor you have a degree. I thought that was obvious!]

PING (1 Minute later)

[Maybe you should get your friends to take you home to sober up!]

[Professor*]

[ Haha, I would but Zoey was busy]

PING (50 seconds later)

[You're by yourself??]

[You know for a professor you are pretty dumb. Of courses I'm by myself if Zoey isn't here. I'm going to walk home after I have been for a pee. Do you know this place has shared toilets! I know it's new but that's just weird right?]

[Course*]

PING (30 Seconds later)

[LYLA, DO NOT WALK HOME! I'M COMING TO GET YOU! JUST STAY THERE!!]

[No need to shout. Well text shout haha. No I'm fine. I can walk. I'll see you in class tomorrow]

I hear my phone continuously ping and ring, but I ignore it and I make my way out of the club. I start walking in the direction I think my dorm is in.

(I feel like I've been walking forever, everything is spinning, Oh no I'm going to...) I run over to the nearest bin and puke. Once I've stopped I clean myself open with a tissue I have in my bag. (Not my classiest moment) "Are you ok?" I look up to find some guy with long black hair staring at me.

(Oh my god, I have hair envy) "Wow, I love your hair!" He smiles "Thanks, but are you ok?" "Yes, I am fine frank you, I mean thank you" "Are you on your way home?" I look at him confused.

(Oh god, he's one of these weirdos that bury young girls under his driveway) "STRANGER DANGER!" I scream at the top of my lungs as I move away from Mr. Perfect Hair. "Stay away from me" he seems shocked "No! Look, I was just checking you were ok. I did mean to scare you" I still back away from him.

"Keep away from me," I shout at him again. I hear a car pull up, the headlights light us up I turn I can't see who it is but because the light is blinding me but I soon recognize the voice.

"Lyla, there you are" Ian comes into view "I've been looking everywhere for you!" he turns to Mr. Perfect Hair "Can I help you?" Ian asks him. "I was just checking she was ok when I saw her throwing up in the bin over there then the mad cow started screaming stranger danger. She's fucking nuts mate." (Everything after that happened in slow motion) Ian squares Mr. Perfect Hair straight in the jaw.

He runs off and Ian takes my hand and leads me to his car.

He gets into the driver's seat, he seems angry "Are you ok Ian?" his jaw tenses "Ian, I said are yo..." "I KNOW WHAT YOU SAID, LYLA!" he shouts, "Excuse you!" "I'm sorry I didn't mean to shout, but you have no idea how worried I was about you!" "Ian, I'm ok!" "You might not have been! Why would you put yourself in danger like that?" "I wanted a drink and no one was free, Plus I was jealous!" I turn away from him.

"Jealous?" he asks I roll my eye "Yes, jealous of Lexi being able to be seen out in public with you and just in your company," he looks over to me with soft eyes "Lyla, This was your idea. I was happy to keep seeing you in secret, but you decided it was best." "Now I don't think it's best. Ian, I miss you," he quickly looks over to me with a smile before returning his eyes to the road.

"I have to admit I've missed you terribly, but you need to figure out what you want!" "Ian, it's you! I want you. I can't wait 6 more weeks, it's killing me now" I see him smirk.

He takes my hand and pulls it to his lips before placing a small kiss against my knuckles "I want you to, Lyla. But if we are going to do this we need to be careful, very careful! No one can know!" "Of course!" "Not even Lillian!" "Ok, but if we are trying to be careful for the next 6 weeks I don't think you should be seen dropping me at my dorm" "Where shall I drop you home?" I grin.

"At your place Professor!" I wink.

Continue reading this story here - Chapter 5.

[shall-we-imagine]

Loosen up. (Bodyguard!Klaus Goldstein x Reader)

Requested: 66. "I like you. You're different." + 73. "You couldn't handle me even if I came with instructions." From the promt list.

Genre: Fluff/idk if this also counts as suggestive? Only if you're very innocent I guess? And if you're on tumblr then you probably aren't so nvm 😂

A/N: sorry for being so inactive lately I've been busy with studying and such so I generally couldn't find it in me to write so yeah :/ (I have a trial tomorrow so like idk pray for me 😂) but here I am! ヽ(゜～゜o)ノ Also yes I'm aware this isn't how Vincent acts and he's not filthy rich but for now we're gonna let it slide okay? Cool. 😂

(Second Person Point of View)

"That's when I decided it was time to buy my fifth car; I mean who attends their first day of college with the same old cars, right?" The man laughs. You suspected that if he stopped boasting for longer than 2 seconds, he'd suffocate and die. You kind of hoped to witness that.

It'd been 2 hours already, yet you weren't allowed to leave the party until your dad says you could. You'd even tried to convince your bodyguard to let you leave without your father knowing anything of the incident, but Klaus was far too strict and responsible; he'd never do such a reckless thing.

Yeah, sure, it's good for your dad to have found such a trustworthy employee, but when you've been stuck talking to these blatantly boring and arrogant people that only viewed you as a good deal to obtain more wealth, well, let's just say: it makes you sort of wish Klaus cared less.

However, that was not the case. In fact, while all bodyguards waited outside, Klaus remained inside -only a few feet away from you at any given time. He also seemed to always be giving you a look that could only be describe as the look a mother gives when you have people over, and she's daring you to mess anything up.

Now, you weren't the stereotypical bratty child that refuses to take over their parents' company. You knew your responsibility and always hoped to make them proud; you just weren't a big fan of the world surrounding all the important people in business. Therefore, it made you yearn for messing around from time to time.

Today was one of those days. You so desperately hoped Klaus would get off your back for even just a few moments, so you could escape the exhausting setting. But he continued with the angry-mother-glare; it almost seemed like he'd gotten the expression tattooed on his face after the endless times he had to get you out of trouble.

There was definitely a bright side to that extra attention, though. You suspected Klaus had a thing for you. After all, he was known to be very good at his job; he could easily quit and get a job less demanding with an equal pay or even a bigger pay if he wanted, but he didn't. He decides to stay with a teenage girl that enjoys pushing his buttons. He was professional, so he wouldn't say anything or let it show, but you had this feeling in your guts that he at least felt intrigued by you.

And, surely, you were ready to use this to your advantage.

You glance towards the blond at the corner of the room, ensuring he was still staring (threateningly, but still staring nevertheless). His eyebrow arches slightly, sensing you were about to do something dumb. You could almost hear him think God, what is it this time?!

You focus your attention back on the man whose name you'd forgotten about 2 seconds after he introduced himself.

"So, I heard you're staying at the hotel here for the entire duration of the event." You smile sweetly.

"Yeah, I am." He takes a sip out of his drink.

You begin flirtatiously twirling a strand of your hair. "Well, how about you take me to have a look upstairs?"

Startled by the unexpected implications of your request, he chokes on his drink and starts coughing. You try your best not to appear disgusted, giving him a smile when he's done with his coughing session.

Sure enough, he agrees and links your arms together, leading you towards the exit of the section the party was held in.

"Miss (Y/N)," Klaus speaks through gritted teeth. He wore a smile and kept his voice quiet, but there was no denying he was ready to scold you. "Where do you think you're going?"

"Upstairs." You smile, playing dumb.

"What do you mean up-" after losing his calm for a second, Klaus cuts himself off to take a deep breath and let it out before proceeding. "Would you please excuse us, Mr. Knight?" Klaus bows lightly before dragging you to an empty corner.

"You think just because you're leaving with a guest, I'll allow you to go?" Klaus whispers in annoyance.

"What? Are you jealous?" You wiggle an eyebrow at him, knowing well enough that wasn't the reason (well, not the main one, at least).

Lips pulled into a pained smile, Klaus glares. "Are you asking for an insult? I think you're abusing that service I provide for you a hundred times per minute."

"Come on, Klausie; loosen up." You poke his chest with your index finger. You knew the redhead -or Mr. Knight- was probably still waiting for you, but you couldn't care less. You wanted to stretch out the process of bugging Klaus as long as possible, since it was the only way to spend time with him. It was also fun watching his nose scrunch and his eyebrows furrow in such anger. He would try to mask his frustration, but it was obvious he had a short temper when it came to you. To put it nicely, he was done with your shit.

"Don't, under any circumstances, call me Klausie." He threatens. "And I don't need to loosen up; you need to stop being so careless!"

"Sure." Rolling your eyes, you step away from him.

Before you could take two full steps, Klaus had already grabbed your arm. "Going somewhere?"

You pull your hand away. "The bathroom. Am I not allowed to answer the call of nature either?" You raise an eyebrow questioningly.

"Touché." He raises his hands in defeat, but once you begin walking away, he follows.

"Where are you going?"

"Just ensuring you don't get any funny ideas." He shrugs.

Huffing, you decide to ignore him. Thankfully, he was only planning to stand near the door; it didn't seem too strange imagining Klaus walking in for "safety measures": the guy was crazy when it came to his job.

"Man, another pretty dress gone to waste." You sigh, looking into the mirror. The sparkling violet fabric clung onto your body till your waist then flowed freely, reaching to merely graze the floor. It was one of the dresses you really liked; you loved the way it showed your shoulder blades and only a portion of your back; it was sexy yet classy. The glittery purple was certainly your colour too! Alas, your dad would scold you for rewearing a dress more than he would scold you if you were to kill a person (as long as you've hidden the evidence well, that is). Murder can be covered up, but 'horrible fashion choices' cannot be hidden, according to your father. Sometimes you went against that, but most of the time, you just complied, even though it's an absolute waste of money.

"You're taking too long, you know that?" Klaus calls from outside, impatience clear in his voice.

You bite back a response when you realize there's something much better you could do. Quietly checking the stalls, you ensure you're 100% alone inside.

"Could there be a valid reason you're not responding to me?!"

Ignoring his question, you just scream in response. "Klaus! Klaus, help me!" You screech frantically.

The door bursts open, and Klaus steps inside aggressively. Before he could realize what's happening, you push him back against the door, slamming it behind him.

Smug about catching him off guard, you smirk at the taller male, whose body was closely pressed against yours. "Were you worried?" You tease.

"About losing my job? Yeah." He scoffs, turning his head away from you but not bothering to push you away.

"Why is it always about the job?" You tilt your head to meet his eyes again.

"Because I'm at work?" He states with a raised eyebrow, as if it sounded stupid for you to even ask that.

You run your hands gently over his chest; even through layers of clothing, you could still feel the firm muscles concealed by the black suit. "Well, maybe it's time for a break." You grin innocently.

"You do know you can't fool me, right?" He takes one of your hands away from him but doesn't let go of it.

Rolling your eyes, you move away from him. "I'm not fooling you; I want us to have fun! Neither one of us is enjoying this anyway." You cross your arms.

An unexpected response sparks excitement within you. "Well, what do you suggest we do?" You knew he was only being sarcastic, but it gave you a pathway for more methods to push his buttons and witness his reactions.

Closing the distance between both of you once more, you stand on the tip of your toes as you wrap your arms around the back of his neck. "Oh, I have a lot of suggestions." You whisper in his ear, feeling him flinch lightly at your suggestive remark. You could tell he was trying to hide it and pretend he wasn't phased, but you'd already noticed it, and he knew it.

"You're gonna get me fired." Cheeks slightly red, he turns his head away and gently parts your bodies from each other. "God, why is it so hard to handle you? It's like dealing with a troublemaking child."

"You couldn't handle me even if I came with instructions." You stick your tongue out at him. "Plus, father won't know anything if neither one of us told him." You point out what seemed to have escaped Klaus's perception of the situation.

"You want me to lie to your father." He laughs in disbelief.

"Mmhm, not quite. More like not telling him the full truth."

"That's exactly what lying is."

"No, it's not."

"Yes, it is."

"No."

"Yes."

"Okay, stop! Fine, lie! I don't know!" You fling your arms in the air out of frustration. A novel sound catches your attention, immediately flushing away the frustration. Klaus was laughing. Not sarcastically. No, a genuine laugh was echoing across the bathroom.

"I suppose it wouldn't be the worst thing if we talk a walk for some fresh air and come back." He smiles. "Just this time though!"

An uncontrollable grin spreads across your face, and you immediately throw your arms around Klaus. "Thank you!"

"You gotta stop..doing..this.." He awkwardly pats your back, careful not to touch your bare skin.

"No promises!" You shrug, before grabbing his hand and rushing outside, making your way to the exit.

"Miss (Y/N)?" You freeze in your spot. "Where are you going?"

"Oh, um.." you stutter, not expecting to have to explain yourself to your companion from earlier.

"We got an emergency call; we'll be right back." Klaus, in his usual composed state, 'explains' to Mr. Knight.

"Ah, I see." Red head may be an idiot, but he wasn't stupid. He could tell something wasn't right, but he either chose to let it slide or he just didn't care. Regardless, you were thankful. "I'll be waiting for your return then." With a smile and a bow, he left and disappeared into the crowd.

"You'll catch a cold." Klaus states, watching you twirl and run around in the chilly October weather.

You weren't cold, or maybe you didn't dislike being cold. It wasn't the type of cold to make you unable to take a few proper steps and force you to do an awkward penguin walk; rather, it was the type of cold to merely caress your skin, decorating it with goosebumps. "Don't worry; I'm alright."

"Just take my jacket. Your back and shoulders are exposed; you must be cold." He spoke with such certainty that it almost made you rethink for a few moments about whether you actually felt cold or not.

"Are you worried or are you just intimidated by how sexy I look?" You strike a pose far from seducing.

Klaus, who had his jacket held out for you, resumed walking as he put his jacket back on. "You know, on second thought, it might be a good thing if you catch a cold and stay at home for a week or so." He passes by you, leaving you and your sexy pose alone.

"Hey! That was mean!" You catch up to him.

"Nothing new, then." He shrugs, a slight smirk forcing itself onto his pink lips.

You speed up a little then turn around to face him once you're slightly ahead of him; you remain walking, but backwards this time, allowing yourself to look at him during the conversation. "How could you be mean to such a beautiful lady?" You pout.

"What beautiful lady?" He looks around, pretending to search for something.

You let out a dramatic gasp. "How could y-" Your sentence was inconveniently cut off by your stumble; or perhaps, it was a slightly convenient situation when you think about it from a different perspective: Klaus, as sharp as usual, was able to grasp your arm, preventing you from falling.

"Uh, thanks." You breathe out, nodding slightly. Once you begin to straighten yourself up, Klaus lets go of your arm, only to watch you fall to the ground immediately after. "I think my heel broke.." you frown, staring at your left shoe, now with its heel lying a few inches away.

"You think?" Klaus earns a glare, urging him to put aside the sarcasm and help you up.

"Those were such a cute pair.." you sigh, placing your arm around Klaus's shoulder for support. Your arms were already hurting due to the height difference; it was like hanging from a cliff but not quite.

Klaus places an arm around your waist. "Well, I can buy you another one. You need another pair to get back to the party anyway."

"What if I don't?"

"Don't what? Get back to the party? That's not what we agreed on! Your father-"

You cut off his rant, "We'll get back there, and I'll call dad and inform him that my heel broke; he'd immediately allow me to leave. It's already late anyway."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

######

"Yes, Klaus, I'm sure he'd let me go home if I tell him my heel broke! Of course, Klaus, there's no way he would have some other plans for me!" Your bodyguard mimicks your voice and tone (terribly), as you sit in the back of the car your dad sent with a brand new pair of shoes.

"How would I have known he would do this?!" You complain, tightening the straps of the new shoes around your ankle.

"Well, hurry up, knight dude is probably waiting for you." Arms crossed, he taps his foot impatiently. You merely groan in response.

"I can't believe he didn't even tell me he booked a room for me at the hotel! And that I have to attend the same event tomorrow too! I didn't even bring any change!"

"Um, Miss (Y/N), your father asked me to hand you this too.." the driver quietly places a small suitcase on the back seat next to you.

"There you go; he packed stuff for you." You weren't sure if Klaus was trying to tease you or comfort you, but either way, you just let out a sigh.

After a long, mentally and physically exhausting night, you were finally allowed to leave. And boy, were you delighted to recieve the news.

"This one." You pause in front of the room that had the same number on the keycard. Klaus had already placed your bag inside earlier, but it was your first time viewing the room. "At least the room is pretty." You shrug.

"Didn't think you'd admit it." Klaus chuckles. "Well, I have to go; so, good night, Miss (Y/N); I'll be back here tomorrow." He bows.

"Wait!" You stop him before he steps outside the room.

As I have reached the 100 block limit, I'll complete this in Part 2...which I'll literally post now and it'll be shorter than this cuz it's just the ending 😂

[btr-rewatch]

Big Time Rush Season 1, Episode 1: “Big Time Audition” PART 4

Links to parts ONE, TWO, and THREE

Final post for this episode!

Highlights: Kendall can't stop questioning authority, the band falls apart before it can even get started, and we finally reach the end of this very long journey through episode one.

I must say that, so far, I'm finding the show to be every bit as funny as I remember it being. There are lines that are delivered in such a quick, snappy way that they sort of smack you in the face before you have a moment to process it. The woman from the marketing team saying, "Boys, we researched and electro-shocked focus groups to determine the exact look and name that will sell millions of records," is one of those lines.

I think part of what makes the BTR experience such a unique and enjoyable one is the fact that they basically live in a world that's like ours, but they also don't. It's our world cranked up a few extra notches, which I know is intentional (isn't the point of the show that it was supposed to feel like a live-action cartoon?) but it's still very funny to imagine this as being reality. Sometimes it seems like there are no rules in the BTR universe. People just do what they want. Ridiculous, off-the-wall things happen on the regular. Something is deeply wrong with the structure of their world, but it's never addressed in the slightest. Love it.

After going through a series of terrible makeovers (James thinks all of them are good), Gustavo introduces the guys to their first song, "Girl Time." And I love Kendall's expression as Gustavo goes through the whole spiel. I can't tell if this is Kendall Knight smiling mockingly at how ridiculous Gustavo is or if this is Kendall Schmidt breaking character. Either way, it's delightful.

Meanwhile, James is so serious about it. He's like, "Yep, it's Girl Time. Got it."

I'd also like to bring attention to the various ways Kendall has been addressed in this episode.

By Kelly: "Tall, blond, and eyebrows."

By Gustavo: "Mr. Make Us a Pop Group"

Also by Gustavo: "Mr. Question Everything I Do"

Biggest laugh of the episode goes to when Gustavo is reading all the girl-themed songs on the record wall and goes, "Girl Like You, Girl You Are My Girl, Hot Girl, Cold Girl, Girl to My Heart, Yard Squirrel Christmas—I forgot that one was there..."

That caught me totally off guard, and I'm glad I wasn't taking a sip of water at that moment because I would have choked on it.

Anyway, after screaming at the guys, Gustavo—who thinks he might've finally gotten the upper hand on his smart-mouthed band leader—decides it's a very good idea to do this to Kendall.

And the LOOK Kendall gives him.

This kid is seriously considering whether or not he wants to have his picture shown on the evening news tonight because he strangled famous music producer Gustavo Rocque with his bare hands.

Listen, I love Original Kendall, and I am going to hold onto him for as long as I possibly can. There was this restrained, vaguely threatening air that surrounded him. Kendall was playing this character as if he was a guy one wrong step away from snapping, and I am here for it.

Ultimately, Kendall opts to make a joke instead of doing anything that will get him thrown into juvie, and we get a funny news scene reporting on the small earthquake that struck the surrounding area as a result of Gustavo's anger.

When the time rolls around to finally get into the recording studio, Kendall continues to have his disruptive behavior on full display.

This episode really is just The Kendall Show, isn't it? I feel like the other three have hardly said more than a few lines?? They're mostly there so far just to react to things and occasionally chime in. For the most part, it's been forty minutes of "Watch Kendall Do Things." I mean, the other guys have their personalities pretty laid out, but there's no depth yet, and they feel more like sidekicks. Kendall is the one running this show. He's living his life, spewing out pep-talks as needed, causing trouble, kicking butt and taking names, etc.

Naturally, things only escalate from there, and Gustavo ends up resigned to his new boyband project being a lost cause.

I had to screenshot the exchanging of looks while Gustavo announces their failure via song because it's just so indicative of the way the guys will "divide" up over the course of the show. That, I remember very clearly. While they were all tight-knit, there was a prevalent pairing of Kendall with Logan and James with Carlos in terms of the ways the boys gravitated toward each other, specifically with the two who need that leadership and guidance the most: Carlos and Logan. You can see it right in this scene—both in the order they're standing in and where the glances are directed.

Carlos looks to James, and Logan looks to Kendall, which explains the overall dynamic nicely, I think.

Back at the Palm Woods, James is furious that his friends (mostly Kendall) have sabotaged his chance at being famous, and you know what? He's right. They all knew James wanted this the most out of all of them. It's literally his biggest dream! But they (*cough* Kendall *cough*) made a big joke of it at every possible turn. They (KENDALL) could have tried harder.

After getting into a fight and being pushed into the pool by Katie, the guys end up sulking around the fire.

James: "I could stay here and be a model; I'm still great-looking. Or the star of a reality show."

Carlos: "Which one? Project Idiot?"

Super funny, yet uncalled for. This fiasco really isn't James's fault, Carlos. Please direct your anger at your reckless, defiant leader, Kendall Knight.

Kendall muses that after all they've gone through, they never even got to sing together, which leads them into another—and the best—rendition of the "Giant Turd" song. They get a rousing round of applause, Kendall delivers his fourth inspirational speech (with musical accompaniment!) and they all decide they should give this thing a try.

Also I have such vivid memories of the commercials Nick played in the weeks leading up to the show's premiere. Kendall's line "One, I love singing. Two, I love singing with you guys," was always featured prominently in it, and I remember seeing the commercial and thinking, "Looks like such a lame, cheesy show." I had zero intention of watching, but then my sister and I were lounging around channel surfing on that Thanksgiving weekend and happened to catch it just as it started. It was one of those, "Might as well. There's nothing better on" moments.

Cue me proceeding to never miss an episode, seeing them in concert, and meeting them three times over those next three and a half years. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Our four lovable goofballs decide to behave and pull themselves together enough to start to resemble a band.

And they do it! They become a full-fledged boyband in two days and impress the pants off of Griffin.

Gustavo is pleased, though he still does have his nitpicks. "Carlos still can't sing. Logan still can't dance. And I still can't stand James."

No critiques for Mr. Knight, I see.

This brings us to the end of the episode. Everyone celebrates! They can stay in L.A. for the next three months! And we've learned the very important lesson that if you fly into an angry rage, get security called on you, and start a physical fight at a talent search audition, you get REWARDED with fame and fortune.

Haha, I kid. The lesson is, of course...

Well, that's a wrap on episode one! This is so much fun. I am thriving, everyone.