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#i am gonna cry about it now bc i love them
ryuseitai · 2 months
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so nervuos for tmrw bc im seeing my cousin
#i love her so much But#Its my dads side of the family and i dont see them often at all and everything is always so awkward and#they dont know i dropped out of school and everytime my grandpa sees me he asks about school#and i havent seen him since before i Would have graduated this past may#like i would be graduated hs right now but#im not SO IF AYNYNE ASKS ABOUT IT IM GONNA LOSE ITTTT#god#hopefully my grandparents just wont be there Idk why they would bc im just going to hang w my cousin#but they tend to jumpscare me sometimes when i go out to see her#Gahhhgaaahhhhhahhaooouuoououou#i could just tell the truth bc idec about them knowing i dropped out its just embarrassing bc i lied for so long#buti just did bc when i first stopped going to school my mom told me not to tell anyone on that side of the fmaily..so..#i dont think shed care anymore either but its just been so long and ive never told them Augh#and my grandpa really wants me to go to college which i straight up just dont wanna do. not rn at least#and id need to get my ged first which ive been procrastinating on the entiire year Oopsies#my aunt always tells me not to listen to him thoughand that i dont have to go to college if i dont want to i am grateful for her..#shes always protective of me from him LOL i love my grandpa and he means well and stuff but#he will just say anything#and he always makes me cry in public or at family gatherings bc he starts talking to me about my dad#i knowppl just aska bout like school and plans for the future and stuff bc they care but i wish they wouldnt bc i do not know anything#i dont know a single thing about how my future is going to go or what i even want it to be or how im going to live and its stressful enough#already when im not being interrogated about it#Like lets just talk about something else. Lets talk about enstars#Isnt it crazy that shinobu has gone going on 15 months without a new 5*?..i think its a little crazy and i miss him
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railroad-migraine · 1 year
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emypony · 10 months
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#damn babygirl i wish people checked up on me more#this self conscious catgirl is so tired#sometimes i WISH people just came into my dms to ask me if im ok#i do it constantly to others because i hope theyre not as sad as i am feeling in that moment#genuinely afraid to have made someone feel bad and drive them away from me#and omg i feel nyself running thin again just bc im afraid to lose the interactions we have altogether because i cant process certain media#in a healthy way whatsoever and i get super hung up on thinfs that really dont matter that much in the end#YEAH IM RAMBLING IT'S 5:30 AM AND I COULD BE SLEEPING RIGHT NOW BUT INSTEAD IM JUST CRYING FOR A STUPID REASON!!#i think ive only had one person check up on me based off the vibes in chat i gave off alone in the past couple of months#which was baffling and surreal btw and i think it broke something within me#it came from someone i wouldve never expected to even notice because sometimes it feels like its such a vast difference between us#i sometimes even wonder how are we friends in the first place#like do i even deserve to call this person my friend do they feel like that? or are we just discord acquaintances?#anyway all this just made me sad and my dumb ass is crying and yearning to be loved by my online peers thats all lol. meows pathetically#idk i guess i just.want to hear / see it more rather than just teying to tell myself that over and over hoping im not deluding myself abt i#personal#sorry for the emotions dump idk whats wrong with me tonight actually#me having to come to terms with the reality that i actually have a following and this might get boticed by more than 2 ppl#bc not everyone follows 3k blogs like i am :skull emoji: yknow#im probably gonna delete later because im actually a super self conscious person to the point i get nauseatingly anxious about it holy shit#i dont vent often and im 120% keeping it in but when i do oh boy#the dam bursts and im left like a sopping wet dog on the floor looking like a sad blob#which i am feeling like right now!#vent#emy rambles#ALSO LIKE THIS ISNT TO SAY IM NOT GRATEFUL FOR MY FRIENDS OMG I AM#k really am#sometimes its still like. idk. unbelievable to me that people are genuinely interacting with me and the things i write or headcanon#and i shouldn't expect them to know whats wrong with me or if i feel bad if i dont say it or communicate that to them#but yknow one can yearn
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isatoru · 2 years
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i got fucking ambushed with a sasuke thought i hope you don’t mind me dumping it here bb </3 i was just thinking that sasuke probably eats you out when he’s mad at you. he doesn’t want to talk, he can’t look you in the eyes but he also doesn’t want to storm off cause he thinks he might actually die if he leaves you upset and alone so he just,,,, manhandles you onto your hands and knees and eats you out from behind. he doesn’t really mean for it to be a way to calm you both down but that’s always what ends up happening, you crying out for him and reaching a hand back and he always always takes it. eating pussy is sasuke’s therapy <3
i just squirted all over my squishmallows goodbye
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gatual · 2 years
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last night i was thinking abt characters that love so so sO much that end up doing crazy shit bc of it my beloveds
#🍒#makes me crazyinsane#i thought abt that moment when denji ws like if i ever die posses my body and live my dreams with it but then pochita was like no. ill give#u my heart and u will show me ur dreams STOPPPPPP😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 man stop😭😭😭😭😭#or also homura dying and reversing time hundreds of times just to save madoka every single time.she was her purpose for everything she coul#could go through all that bc her love for her was so much😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭SOB why am i making myself suffer the worst is#idk if the worst but yk i feel like i truly understand this type of characters bc whem it comes to the people i love man oh mannmn#i would givey life kill die and everything else i feel like. sometimes love is so mcuh i feel like it doesnt fit in my chest so sjdbfnfkc#like when i think of my mom sometimes it makes me cry bc love is so much idk what to do w it so i cryehehdbfjfkdndn but that happens to#but in the way that some other times i also feel my chest full of love but i feel so alone and idk what to do with itANYWAY BYE#no way not bye yet something else that happens is that ive never felt ..loved like this🥲 okay now yes bye#NO WAIT JFNDBBJ SORRY anOther thing is think sometimes is that yk how we're all different..and express feelings in different ways and stuff#what if im not interpreting someones love the right way..like what if someone i love does love me back this way but their way of sharing#feelings and emotions is way different than mine (bc this is v possible too yk our experiences arent universal/) WHAT THEN.#im gonna hand this paper to everyone ik so they write w lot of detail the way they feel about me final bye.#wait lmao😭😭😭😭 this is so long i also feel that loving like this makes me a red flag LMAO bc by putting ppl i love over me and loving so#intensely many times i feel like what i do its not required and even though i deal w jealousy and negative feelings i always control them#and never act on them but so many things related to human relationships causing me anxiety and this and that make me feel that im the#red flag itshard to explain neway tru final total byE.
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blizzardfluffykpop · 2 months
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why the fuck do i miss pigeons
#don't ask me i am going thru it today#ebhehbbehbhebhabh#i miss pigeons dude#oooh the poor little domesticed cuties#kate rambles from here#this is a small detail of the feeling i am feeling#like post leaving nyc is wrecking havoc on my psyche#i don't want to be in the fucking great plains#a few irls don't understand my want for city life- and i didn't know it was this bad until staying there for 4 days-#but my mom's whole family is from the city- i just feel so at home there- and everything i've inherited that way is in my blood#and i just wanna bawl my eyes out#i have been quite a bit but like ik i have a goal now- to move into the city- i've always had that goal to at least move to the city near m#but like nyc was like being somewhere i felt i wanted- it's not that i'm looking to make it big- i miss the noise the water and pigeons#around here you'll hear the occasional car go by- and crickets- i miss the city lights- i keep crying about it for so many reasons but#i just don't know how to actually express it?#because it's such an odd feeling for me to feel? because if yknow me well- i love being at home- i hate sleeping somewhere else-#taking a trip down south this last christmas- i couldn't stand the quiet- it's quieter the more south you go and i can't do this#i've always wanted to leave my small town but ?? like actually being somewhere that has felt home has been unattainable bc every#where in oh hasn't been home... and for once i felt like i could do this- and having to return here- just made me break down and cry#maybe it's the person i live with- that makes me wish to leave- but that's not the full truth- idk maybe a good nap will help#kate rambles#i have a life goal now but i wish i could do it now- i hope sooner rather than later i'll at least live in the city#i've been happily living but now i have a direction i wish to run towards- and i'm gonna chase after it#sure i miss seeing tbz i loved seeing them- but it's not even post concert depression- if that makes sense?#which it doesn't make sense- because for mx it was only pcd- but for nyc it's missing the city... and it feels awful#pls ignore this i just needed to be frustrated somewhere#ig knowing what i'm missing- i can finally work on filling that spot huh? i guess that's what i'll be doing#(also vv small point but the fact that one of the people i live with- refuses to ever visit nyc again- is so comforting to me)#pls don't send me an ask about this i just needed to ramble and i haven't caught up on my daily journal yet to do so- so this is here
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orcelito · 2 months
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There's also the impulse to be like "women ain't shit" but that's a lie I love our women. Not women as a whole's fault that one of them turned out a selfish bastard of a coward.
I just need to find a woman who doesn't treat me like That. Get me a good butch. I need me a good butch.
#speculation nation#id love a good butch who can pick me up and help move my furniture#and who is so sweet and treats me like im someone valuable (& not immediately replaceable ...)#the bar is actually so low. god why do i keep ending up dating assholes?#ex before this ex wasnt an asshole. i was the asshole in that situation.#but that's where the whole. wanting to find someone right for me comes in.#god 'ex' really is such a vague term for me. i got bad ex goth ex uhh other good ex but still sucked#nothingburger exes 1 2 3 4#and the gay awakening ex who i really shouldve given more attention to but unfortunately i was a stupid 16 year old#and broke up with her for my bad ex. alas.#and then theres milquetoast ex and uhmmm. well i actually dont know what im going to label my most recent one.#i dont think it's fully sunk in yet what happened. bc it really was so sudden.#i last saw her on thursday and everything was normal and nice. just like pretty much the whole of the 6 months with her.#and then she started hanging out with the coworker i guess. and the rest is history.#i think she lied about being busy spending time with friends to excuse why she was so distracted on the weekend.#she was probably busy spending time with that girl. who she apparently feels like shes suffocating if shes not in the same room as her#it does suck in a lot of ways. but also with her friends. i was trying rly hard to spend time with them and be liked by them.#one of them's moving into my building this next year. across from my unit. so i wonder how thats gonna go.#my ex mentioned how she'd be spending twice as much time here then just last saturday.#and now. well. like fuck she's coming in here anymore. but i wonder if i'll see her going to visit her friend.#id been kind of excited for it. looking forward to spending time with a neighbor too. but probably not anymore.#i do wonder what her friends will think. i hope she tells them the truth and they chew her out for being such an asshole.#literally breaking up with me over text. who fucking does that??? she didnt have the guts to hear me cry???#i'll make sure she sees the full force of my displeasure when she drops my gifts off tomorrow.#she used to like how rough around the edges i am. well she's gonna see just how rough around the edges i Really am.#i kind of. dont really want to see her. but i also do. i want her to look me in the face and talk to me#to see who it is she's dropping. to see how it has affected me. even if she didnt see my heartbreak as it happened.#i laid into her Hard so she knew just how badly she hurt me. so that she would feel even a fraction of my hurt.#so she would feel Guilty. she apologized over and over. said she knew she'd regret it. but she just Had to do it.#'this will be my life's regret' then why'd you do it? fucking impulsive dumbass. what bullshit.
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icyfox17 · 4 months
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More random 911 snippets:
WHAT DO YOU MEAN BUCK DIED?!?!
SPRUCE!!!!!!!!
HE GOT STRUCK BY LIGHTNING AND DIED FOR LIKE 3 MINS AND SMTH SECONDS AND THEN WAS IN A COMA FOR AWHILE BEFORE WAKING UP N STUFF ITS CRAAAAZYYY
#foxieasks#spruce tag#literally couldve sworn i'd answered this but ALAS tumblr ate my reply bawling#anyways.#fun fact!! before i got into this show this was around the time that i started reading fics for it without knowing any context besides+#what my stepmom had told me#and so far she'd only told me about the ship buddie#but anyways so i started getting interested in it but not enough to actually decide to watch the show#but i was like hmm im curious as to what its like actually like#so i sat down to watch this ep but like the OPENING SCENE HAS SOMEONE GETTING JABBED IN THE NECK BY GLASS (long story) AND THAT WASTOO GORE#FOR ME SO I ENDED UP LEAVING TSKJDFKJDS like damn couldve seen this man get STRUCK BY LIGHTNING IVE SEEN THE GIF IT LOOKS SO COOL#anyways THE EP AFTER THOUGH#IS THE FIRST FULL EP I WATCHED OF THE SHOW LMAOOOO#it was wild coming in and having my stepmom be like “yeah so last week he got struck by lightning and now hes having a fever coma dream”#but spruce. spruce. THIS EP HAD SO MUCH FATHER SON CONTENT ITS ACTUALLY INSANE#ohgodimgonnarunoutoftagshelp#BUT YEAH SO IM WATCHING THIS AND I WASL IKE *STEPMOM U DID NOT TELL ME HOW MUCH FATHER SON CONTENT THERE IS*#and she was like “oh yeah lmao theyre really big actually u get a LOT of content in the show”#and i was like YOU SHOULDVE TOLD ME THAT SOONER NOW I NEED TO WATCH THE SHOW#anyways it still took like a year for me to actually start watching the show bc i was in the middle of a diff show and i was waiting to#finish that before starting a new one#but yeah. it sold me on the show bc of the father son duo skjadfhksafdkj crying i love them so much#but yeah speaking of that now i wanna rewatch the ep bc i am even MORE attached to this duo LIKE THAT EP TOOK ME OUT WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING T#CHARACTERS#NOW???#IM GONNA DIE SPRUCE IM GONNA DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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milo-is-rambling · 4 months
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Weight talk tw I guess idk how to describe the post sorry im a little high
It’s so weird being around people who talk about weight problems (IOP) and like idk it brings up weird shit in my brain almost anxiety that I should feel bad about myself somehow like I’m doing this wrong being confident idk. Weird self doubt thing that happens when you’ve loved yourself (hmm. Rephrase. I don’t care about being fat. let’s say that.) and then you’re in a room full of people having a group discussion about how they avoid living their life in happy ways because they don’t want to become like you. But you love yourself. But everyone in your life since you were little has been dieting and talking about weight and specific numbers (someone was anxious about gaining seven pounds! SEVEN. If they saw my scale they would shit themselves. I put on seven pounds taking a big bong rip Jesus fucking Christ seven pounds. I wanted to rip my hair out.)
Next time weight issues come up in IOP I’m stepping out of the room. Like idk how to explain it cause it’s like not a trigger but I guess it is ? But it’s just so weird like the way I’m triggered makes me want to cry why does the world hate me for being fat what the fuck !!!!
#me when I gain weight issues through thinking about my own body in a group setting#ughhh#whatever fuck it#taking an anxiety med chavas at work Levi’s on a train (EXCITED!!!!) I’m gonna take my little sedative friend and try to take a nap bc six#and a half hours after the last two days I’ve had is fucking nothing. going to nap city will fix me.#also taking my morning med. I haven’t done that yet I need to eat *stares into camera* to take my meds gahhhh I hate having a human form an#intestines just take the med with one cracker and not get sick what the fuck body I’m so sick of heart burn I want to burn down the world#and now that I’ve had a med increase I get fucking withdrawal symptoms if I miss a morning dose which I found out bc I left my meds at home#accidentally on Monday when I was so overtired and forgot to put them back in my bag for IOP (cause they have food at IOP so I take them#there once I’ve eaten) and then I had a headache for like half of the day and I was so overtired I was crying on the drive home cause I#wanted to sleep so bad and then I got home and my brain wouldn’t shut the fuck up even on the sleep meds until I talked to kath and she#calmed me down just existing the little sweetheart god I love her okay anyways babble over I’m very overtired and a little cranky and my#brother has been in a very bitchy mood recently idk what’s got him on edge but everything is setting him off into little fights like not#just with me he was fighting with mom this morning he’s just kick to getting worked up recently which leads to me being angry wanting to be#rude which means do the opposite which means show extra compassion woohoo coping skills 🗣️🗣️#anyways. post panic attack sedative nap (my beloved) or perhaps work on editing my vlog#I’m high ​ I forgot you can’t hit comma on tags. edit my vlog. vacuum. (I always spell vacuum with two c’s and not two u’s and I think#autocorrect should not correct me on that one bc I think I am right in my soul idk why#there’s another word I’m like that with but I forget what it is . okay bye thank you for listening to my type words goodbye goodnight mwah#it’s ​nap time babyyyyyy#idk if I have to trigger tag this ? someone let me know if I do please
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doveofmourning · 5 months
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I'm gonna ruin this because I don't know how to be normal about having a crush unless I'm high apparently
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#delete later#this is literally the worst time for a breakdown#i need to sleep to do the fun thung tomorrow. if i dont do the fun thing tomorrow i will fully regret it#i am panicking and on the verge of tears for no reason#theres too much going on all at once#and i love having ppl in the flat i do but fuck it always triggers the shit out of me#i am both really hapoy to see yhe person abd really happy shes coming to the thing. i am also terrified someone is gonna#go for me. its not logical. im fucking terrified#and theres so many unknowns tomorrow abd im freaking out. i managed to keep myself from aaking if i was allowed to travel#with them tomorrow when they sent me the timings. bc of course thats what that meant. it wasnt a heads up to avoid those times#but now im panicking about it bc not getting the reassurance is adding to the fear. even though the point of exposure therapy#is not getting reassurance for all intrusive thoughts. this is what im meant to do#im still freaking out. tye good thing is that the game specifies that if youre overwhelmed step outside#so i can escape if i need to and probably wont shut down#ill take my headphones abd my beanie and my safe items#i dont care if i look childish. i just gotta get through it to the enjoying bit#fucking. its not pity party time. wait like one week then you can have a breakdown. cut it off. cry at therapy#also want to reiterate i love that my flatmates have ppl round. uts good and nornal and GOOD#its entirely a me problem that ut freaks me out so badly. it breaks all the rules that were hammered into me abd i become convinced#im gonna be punished for disrespecting ppl. thats a me problem. i just cabt have it just be in ny head bc im gonna explode#time to play#will the weighted blanket allow me to better dissociate or make me feel every emotion and sob#neither options are fun!!!
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#this is gonna sound pathetic but you ever say a random phrase and now you cant get it out of your head#first it was forever liked never loved#and now its some beasts were never meant for love#sorry im really showing my insecurities rn lol. tumblr of all places. dont have anywhere else entirely i guess#anyways. what am i? oooo just a dog. a mutt. a beast#and some beasts are never meant to be loved#and dont get me wrong its all i want but i cant have it im not allooowwwwedddddd im not#a beaming shining example of someone not to be or not to be born as if you want love#i havent even done anything. its just the bpd and depression telling me im a boring broken person.#too broken for a normal person to tolerate#too broken with bpd and depression and ocd and other disorders im not open about#so im just the insane old bitch of a wife no one takes seriously until its too late in a horror movie#but also not broken enough to be intriguing for someone to want to 'fix' i am not broken enough for someones fixation to fix.#not that i would want to be like that bc the last thing i want is to be a person someone needs to be obsessed over fixing lol#but idk ive been crying all day bc i cant stand being alone anymore#im just a silly dog meant for entertaining others and nothing more!!#i dont know if i was meant to be loved. im meant to be liked thats for sure. plenty people like me. but#love? love? love in the sense of being with someone? falling asleep with someone? being someones everything?#them adoring me as i adore them?#them meaning it?#and having it long term? and not me boring the fuck out of someone or being too clingy to the point they realize they dont want me anymore?#yeah no sorry. god said i cant have that and im an idiot for thinking otherwise.#i aay i cant date anymore but not because i dont really want to irs cause i know i cant have it. im not meant for it. not cut out for it#youd think id learn by now#im not trying to like. dismiss my love for my friends or my friends love for me. its just. different.#i love my friends. they love me. im forever grateful for that. but i crave romance. i crave being wanted. being yearned for#i crave falling asleep next to someone every night. i crave kisses. and cuddles. and tenderness. i crave being someones everything#i crave someone MEANING that. MEANING that im their everything. but some beasts are never meant to have that. not long term anyways.#and at the end of the day? im one of those beasts.#whats that one quote. she said she doesnt want love the same way a diet doesnt want desert. she wants it but she thinks she cant have it?
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crunchycrystals · 1 year
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im getting so emotional hearing the kids arent alright recording why
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oculusxcaro · 1 year
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I absolutely love your portrayal of Khare! You thought through about how her mutation works. Which amphibians she was basically fused with and how they each have their own role in her mutation that when brought together makes for a very cool yet terrifying way to live.
Also such a beautiful tragedy with her story. How she had a normal life before being snatched away to get experimented on by Prometheus. Her escape, how the heavy trauma doesn't stop there nor does the practical storytelling as she had to survive in the wilderness on her own for a time. Gaining injuries and of the sort until she ends up in Gotham city. A perfect place to lay low from people who work for Prometheus as there still could be a chance they're out looking for her.
How her mutation slowly spreads, hindering her memory and slowly eating away her mind. And that's ALONG with the eyes and teeth growing all over her body especially after getting juried. The uncertainty of if there is a cure, or a way to keep the mutation at bay. Or if Khare's fate is sealed and she is living on precious time. How one day, she'll loose herself. Every bit that makes her human, the friends she's made, her compassion, kindness, her determination. All her emotions and thoughts slowly decay as she watches her own body deform into something else.
Not to mention how relatable and sympathetic someone may feel when Khare is too scared to tell her family that she's alive because of how powerful Prometheus is. Like, a giant corporation, with MANY connections. Surely they figured out where her family lives and are waiting for the day Khare might return.
All of this to say that you have a perfect balance of tragedy along with a slice of life. The way you write Khare being drained from long shifts hits the nail on the head on how it actually feels like. It's so easy getting entranced with your writing! always worth waiting for as it's always so descriptive even when it's just a few sentences! Khare is just so human and I love it!
Her mutations are very cool but they actually come with a cost and you show it. Which I don't think is done enough in media. (especially with some superhero powers where theirs "comes with a cost" but it actually doesn't show or feel like it does. It's just generic and on top of that the superhero is out doing superhero shit. Contradictory with Khare. Who actually reads and FEELS like a normal person being stuck with powers that come with a cost but only wants a normal life. And actually lives a normal life! That's what makes Khare stand out. Because in the situations where she does fight it feels more genuine and so much less scripted.)
Please tell me your favorite things about my portrayal/muse?
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RUUUUUUUUUE, WHY YOU GOTTA SLAY ME LIKE THIS???? 😭😭😭😭 This right here? Is hands down is the loveliest message EVER like... where do we even begin? First and foremost, thank you so, so much for taking the time to write down and send such a dedicated and thoughtful message - it means the world to me, as do YOU in having been such a phenomenal writing partner through both Rorschach and Oswald (and while we're at it, let's not forget Dan!) Receiving such a detailed message about the things you like concerning Khare is just about the highest praise imaginable considering what an excellent writer you are yourself! You have a fantastic eye for storytelling, delving deep into the narrative to shape not only your muse but the world they live in, how they grow and develop through interacting with that world which is not always the easiest take and yet somehow you always make it seem so effortless? Ever since we started talking, your writing has been a huge influence and a stellar example of roleplaying to not only look up to but to admire and emulate. Writing is hard as fuck even on the best of days but you? Have really helped shape my perspective on so many things, how to write well without padding everything with purple prose and to get into a muse's head. Rorschach is a beautiful example of that what with being very much in his head (and not the forthcoming man in his feelings or words.) It's just one of the many reasons I love the relationship our muses have, Rorschach being incredibly unhinged and aggressive as he was during Watchmen but clearly having changed since his untimely demise, awakening somewhere in the middle of Gotham. You've made that feel so real, how very disconcerting it would feel to die only to wake up in a completely different world, in a universe oddly similar yet so different to the one you left behind. And then there's Dan over on @made-of-archimedes, being Rorschach's polar opposite in being so much more approachable and affable but having his 'darker' side present too, his woes, his worries and very real concerns. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you encapsulate personality so well, making your muses feel so very human with minds of their own, as though you've plucked them straight from the movie. You mentioned once before how you didn't feel you did that, that maybe you weren't writing them 'right' but that's not true at all. Your portrayal made me love your two ragingly repressed men and to appreciate their characters all the more after seeing them from your lens. Ah, I'm so sorry to have waffled on like that but honestly Rue, how you're always so kind and thoughtful is a mystery even Dr. Manhatten couldn't solve. Thank you again so much for saying so many wonderful things about Khare! I've tried so hard to describe some of these things (with less success than I'd have liked) so for you to have nailed everything on the head like you did? Means a lot to me, from your thoughts regarding her mutation to her struggles and fears to why she doesn't contact her family back home. She's fucking scared, completely at a loss on what to do or even if she'll manage to survive when every day there's a new tooth or eye to greet her. Her mutation isn't a cute issue at all, instead being the shit-covered end of the stick of gaining a 'useful' power with very heavy costs. Not everybody gets superpowers like Peter Parker and her story is an example of what happens when things go terribly, terribly wrong. Tumblr is getting fucky now and won't save this post so again, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for such a lovely, uplifting message! It means so much that you like my silly frog-fish shambling flesh horror of a girl and her relationship with Rorschach is hands down my favourite part about her development as a character! I look forwards to interacting with him (and Dan) much more in future and for their stories to continue!
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niuxita21 · 1 year
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Madre Solo Hay Dos - 1.09 // 3.05
AKA Cinematic parallels pt 2
Bonus: Mariana.EXE has stopped working
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#madre solo hay dos#ana servín#mariana herrera#shitty screencap posts (TM)#do you ever think about how this is real actual canon that no one can take away from us or explain away as 'subtext'???#because I do (even from the hole I have crawled into and won't be crawling out of any time soon)#I like the contrasts in line delivery and facial expressions#mariana looks anguished because she picked the absolute WORST time to declare her love and got kicked out of ana's house for her troubles#whereas ana is calm and almost cheerful bc it was on the heels on them sleeping together#so to her it was not unreasonable to expect that the confession would have a much more positive outcome than when mariana did it#and I am absolutely OBSESSED with ana's little shrug and head shake as she says it like it was so obvious what she was gonna say#GAWD ludwika is so good I'm gonna jump off a cliff#and I included mariana's reaction bc it makes me laugh (to keep from crying) bc it never occured to her that ana might have caught feelings?#the same way (interestingly enough) that it never occurred to ana that the person mariana wanted to be free to be with was ferrán#she spent all episode thinking mariana had met someone or assuming it was elena but never mariana's ex whom she had to dump for the charade#and don't think I missed the fact that now they have BOTH broken the other's heart in equally soul-crushing ways laughcry#I do appreciate the show's commitment to keeping the playing field level between them lol#so yeah this was just a symphony of crossed wires and misunderstandings like no wonder it went so sideways it was doomed before it started#(yeah it looks like I'm just gonna tag vomit all my feelings about this scene in this post#so I don't have to rewatch the scene to make a proper one with full caps and dialogue#bc I just CAN'T with ana's 'what happened between us meant nothing to you? bc I was there and I haven't been able to stop thinking abt it'#godfuckingDAMMIT BOTH ludwika and the writers will be hearing from my lawyers like HOW IS THIS SHIT ALLOWED)#anyway... what else is there to say :((( please continue to respect my privacy while I am in deep mourning
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the-acid-pear · 2 years
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:[ <- fell down
#luly talks#im. absuing the fact i have not hit post limir#gonna vent now look away#i am so distressed and stressed and anxious it's out of this wolrd im#im calming down now but I've been getting these mood swings i think im desperate to feel something#but idk how to because im too scared of it all and too numb and its a struggle it really isss#when the emotions get stuck in my chest they rot and create an infection and 💥💥💥#so I'll say some of my emotions. i LOVE the pizza game I REALLY DO and im SAD about all going on in my life and im SAD#bc im so lonely and im SAD because i want more and more but im so scared to ask for more and this shows in my art and creations#and its never enough and there always could be more and im just trying to overcompensate for what others dont do#and i feel alone and unheard but when someone approaches me i run away like a scared animal#and my back hurts and my chest hurts and i wan tto cry qnd i want to be held but i dont want to be restrained#i want to not feel alone i want to feel understood i want to bond with someone#im feel like an animal who has been separated from its species and only sees them thru a glass#even if they threw me in with them i wouldnt be able im so scared and idk what to do and i want to cry#it's all so much annd at the same time its notjing and i dont want to cey because i think it's stupid but I'm so sad why cant i just let#myself feel and#theres always. a need for more#an insatiable hunger and a unkillable fatigue#i am so sad
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